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zirobitches · 6 months

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One Piece: Soulmate AU

Always in this twilight - Crocodile x GN!Reader

Summary: Soulmates are incapable of hurting each other. As a pirate, this leads to some tragic moments midst battles. You thought you were prepared for when it might happen to you, but damn you were wrong.

Gn! Reader, Angst no comfort, no beta we die like Roger, Reader is Croc's First Mate and a former Roger pirate (Shanks/Buggy's age) but it doesnt really matter, also former slave background, congrats you are now in the place of my self insert OC, no promises on not being cringe this is literally a /reader fic, also had to make a fake crew bc we dont know enough crocs backstory HAND IT OVER ODA

Word count: 4500+

Also first fic on tumblr, idk what im doing here, lmk ur opinions. It is now 2:03am and i have class at 10:30. Might have to skip lmao

EDITS: grammar check lol. also cross posted it on ao3 - same name as my blog

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Soulmates weren't as common as you'd might assume when you first hear about it. There's an easy way to prove someone is your soulmate, but when that method is to harm them, well, it doesn't make it easy to find that person. And society gets a bit weird when you know your soulmate is out there.

you've known that some people carry around little needles to poke into strangers hoping to find the one. But that was in decent society; among pirates you more often heard tales of bullets suddenly dropping to the ground after they hit their target, or swords stopping on someone's skin as though it just hit steel. A battlefield is a hell of a place to meet the person fate had decided for you, but for pirates it had become a norm.

Not that long ago, some genius named Vegapunk did a study on how many people meet their soulmate - 1 in a 100. And that's just how many people find them. It never accounts for how many actually happily end up together. You had chosen to live your life as a pirate, so a happy ending with your supposed soulmate wasn't something you foresaw in your future.

You were always grateful most of your current crew felt the same. There was a small group among pirates that were always on the lookout to find their soulmate and then immediately retire. Your crew however like to joke that if they found them in battle, they would move out of the way so someone else could finish them off. It was a grim reality, but it was your reality.

However, on nights like these where you drank the night away, some romantic always had to bring it up.

"C'mon, did old Roger really make you so cold hearted that you don't believe in true love?"

"Pfft, you're fucking joking right?" You scoffed back. You always argued with Tink about this, but you understood your young navigator still had hope. Too bad you were the pessimist of the crew.

"It's not that I don't believe in true love," you continued. "Soulmates are real, I don't really see another explanation for not being able to harm only one other person in the world. But why limit yourself to waiting for a person you might never meet? So many are denying themselves to fall in love with someone else and then end up dying alone because they never found their soulmate."

Tink pouted in front of you. This was a tired conversation, one that was repeated every few weeks much to the chagrin of your other crewmates. But a controversial topic was always a great topic for a group such as yourselves.

"I'm not denying myself the chance to fall in love! I'm denying ever feeling heartbroken over someone who doesn't matter!" Tink tried to argue back, but you just groaned in response.

"And if you never meet the one? You'll just live and die without ever letting yourself even get a taste of what it is you're chasing." Tink glared, knowing it was futile to keep going, but the pink of her cheeks told you that the grog in her system was trying to get her to keep fighting.

It was then that a familiar tall figure caught your eye. There was your beloved captain Crocodile, trying to sneak behind everyone's back to grab another bottle for himself.

Crocodile was never much one for festivities, at least not one 'undeserved' as he might put it. While there was no battle won to celebrate, the night sky was clear and the waters calm; in the Grand Line, shouldn't that be enough to be happy about?

However tonight you weren't going to let him sneak booze and hide from the crew.

"Cap'n!" Apparently the grog was getting to you as well. "Come over here and help me crush Tink's dream of a soulmate!" You laughed as Tink gasped at your audacity. The rest of your company seemed more or less happy with how the night was going, but your captain was still less than enthused to join.

"If this is the same soulmate debate you've been going on about for the past 3 years, I will pass again. You already know my feelings on the matter." Crocodile's deep voice reverberated across the deck of the ship. Even if he wasn't giving orders, he still commanded the attention of everyone within earshot.

He gave a long drag of the bottle in his hand, and then turned to walk away. However you felt it was your duty as first mate to pester your captain into spending casual time with his crew.

"I may know your opinion, but would you be so kind and gracious to remind the rest of the crew? Perhaps?" You called out to the dark coat trying to run from the party, and saw him pause, then turn to walk back.

You could see some of the newer additions to the crew cower. You didn't blame them, Crocodile was an imposing figure, and was developing a infamous reputation as a pirate on the Grand Line. But he was your captain, and he would never hurt his crew, this you knew.

"If I ever met my soulmate," Crocodile began, "I assume it would be when I attempt to kill them." He took another sip from his bottle. This was one of the rare moments he was not puffing a cigar you suddenly realize. It made his face look younger, as though he was actually a man in his 20s as he claimed he was.

As though he knew you were thinking of him, Crocodile made eye contact with you. "When I realize I can't kill them, I'll call out for you." You felt your heart skip a beat. "Then you can finish them for me."

It was purely the grog's fault for making your face warm. The lack of a sea breeze was also suddenly apparent. But you couldn't be flustered, not when you were the one who asked for this answer.

You smiled, doing your best to brush off the tension. You were still maintaining eye contact with him after all. "Well there you have it. Not exactly the opinion I remember, but I hope I can live up to your expectations, Cap'n."

Crocodile nodded, then told you all to start to sober up or get to bed. "I don't need a crew of drunks on the Grand Line, or else we will never make it to the New World."

Your crew began to disperse and you went below deck to your cabin. You really hadn't had much to drink that night, yet your chest felt tight.

You thought you had learned your lesson, but no. Even after promising yourself you wouldn't, you became attached to your crew. Even after your last one fell apart. Even after you watched your first captain, your savior, be executed, you fucked up and dove straight into a different crew expecting it to be different.

You laid down in your bed, staring at the ceiling, the world slightly spinning. Suddenly all you can think about is when you met Croc.

It was little more than 3 years ago now, wasn't it? A whole 3 years since Roger died. The weight is still heavy in your chest, but not nearly as devastating as it was in Logue Town that day. You were a wreck, physically and emotionally.

After watching the execution, you were too heartbroken to join the others in pursuit of the One Piece. Your world has just officially ended, the crew was technically already disbanded, but now there was no hope of getting it back.

You ended up in some local bar. No one recognized you, and in the haze of all the excitement following Roger's death, why would they? You had just been some nobody apprentice who happened to stick on his ship after Roger saved your life.

But your sorrow did catch someone's eye.

You sat at the counter of this dive bar in Logue Town, mindlessly stirring whatever number drink sat in front of you now. You had run out of tears, and sat stuck in some frozen state of grief.

However, this sad portrait of yourself did not seem to deter someone from sitting next to you.

You paid them no mind, just staring into empty space, not enough energy to even remember you were still alive.

"You were a member of the Pirate King's crew weren't you?"

A deep voice rattled from the stranger, but it was his words that really caught your attention.

"How'd you figure?" You had paused your stirring at first, but now focused on your drink to avoid eye contact. You were a mess, you could feel your puffy eyes, and were still sniffling every so often.

"There's no reason anyone in this town should be sad that someone like him died. So, you must have known him, right?" The deep voice continued, and you could feel their eyes staring, but didn't have the strength to meet them.

"Well, you caught me. Going to take me in and see if you can get a reward? I'm afraid you won't find any posters of me though. I tended to get lost in the crowd, you could say." After that statement you finally grasped the glass in front of you and decided to knock back what was left. If this was the end of your little pirating career, so be it. It can die with Roger.

"Will you join my crew?"

Your head snapped up at that, and you finally looked up at the stranger.

Long black hair was slicked back to show all the sharp features of the man's face. A strong square jaw, a prominent, perfect nose, and pale, piercing eyes, hooded by thin black eyebrows. Undoubtedly, even in your drunken haze, you were sure sober you would agree the man was handsome.

After a moment to take in this stranger all you could manage was a "Excuse me?"

He smiled - no, smirked - and pulled a cigar out from his coat. "I could use someone with your experience on my crew." He carried on, as if you were discussing the weather outside. He lit the cigar with a lighter you hadn't noticed him pull out. Perhaps it was the booze, but looking at this guy, he almost seemed… fuzzy, around the edges.

"Having someone who once worked for the Pirate King should help me become the next Pirate King."

The stranger took a long drag from his cigar, then exhaled over the counter. You didn't know where the barkeep was now, but at the moment, it felt like you and him were the only people in the building.

You should be mad. Enraged at the audacity of someone to come up to you on the worst day of your life, and to ask you to work for them. But you felt nothing.

No. That wasn't right. You did feel something.

You chuckled. Giggled even. A small laugh that built up till you were laughing, nearly hysterically. You hadn't felt like this sort of light headed elation in a long time, and it was nice.

After taking a moment to catch your breath you finally looked back at the stranger. He didn't look upset at your reaction. He just kept smoking his cigar, waiting for an answer.

"I'm afraid I didn't catch your name."

"I am Sir Crocodile, captain of the Neverland Pirates."

"Hmmm. Well, Sir Crocodile, I can tell you now that you have no chance of being Pirate King." You smirked back at him, propping your head up on your hand as you leaned against the counter.

This response still didn't bother the man. If anything, you swore he almost seemed… satisfied by your answer. Perhaps he knows what's coming next.

"I can help you out on the Grand Line and maybe help you get to the New World, but I promise," you leaned in towards this captain, staring him down. "You will never be the man Roger was. No one will."

Yet Crocodile was unperturbed.

"So you'll join my crew?"

You leaned back and reassessed your empty glass. You cast a quick glance at the bar and then back at the other pirate.

"Sure. I don't have anything better to do anyways."

You thought back in Logue Town you could never feel the same way about Crocodile's crew that you felt with Roger's, but you were always the fool. Now you are attached.

Now you need a reason to leave.

You couldn't waste your time or your heart with them. You had already died once with Roger, and if you stayed any longer you know you could never leave alive. You got up from bed - still plenty tipsy you swayed over - to your dresser.

Middle drawer, back left, underneath some no longer worn t-shirts was a small box. You opened it.

There were several small scraps of paper. Vivre cards.

As a child on Roger's boat, you were ecstatic to learn about vivre cards. A simple way to know the people you loved were alive and safe, and be able to find their exact location? It was too good to be true.

When you remember the feeling of Roger's paper burning in your hands at his execution, you knew the reality of vivre cards.

Your fingertips gently sorted through the papers you had made for some of Roger's crew. Each had a tiny name written in a corner. Shanks, Buggy, Ray, Gaban, Oden, and a few others of people who had been most important to you.

Maybe you could leave this crew and seek out the others. Rayleigh had always said he would retire at Sabaody, and your crew was bound to get there soon, hopefully in a couple months. The ache in your chest; you missed your old family. This could be the excuse you needed.

With a heavy sigh you closed the box and hid it away again. Sleeping on it would be good. Sleeping away the booze would also be nice.

Maybe then the tears would stop silently slipping down your face.

It turns out the excuse of seeing your old crew was unneeded. The news coo was kind enough to drop a reason to leave directly in your lap.

You stared at the newspaper for a long moment. The sinking feeling in your gut still did not go away.

You walked up to the bow where Crocodile was standing. He stared at the horizon as you approached the next island, Water 7.

"Captain."

Crocodile turned to look at you, face neutral, signature cigar in his mouth.

"Morning. The news any good?"

"They want to make you a Warlord."

Your own feelings were swept under the rug as your crewmates overheard. Instantly the deck was buzzing, the news spreading and making the once sleepy, slightly hungover crew come back to life.

"This is perfect!" The helmsman Diat yelled, a grin wide on his face. "Not only do we get the Marines off our back, it's recognition that we are some of the strongest pirates on the Grand Line!"

You would have laughed at him if not for the ice in your chest. Similar celebratory remarks were made all around you, but you didn't have the strength to pretend this was good news to you.

All you could feel was an icy feeling on your back, right where you had a large scar that tore up a long faded tattoo. But time could not get rid of the mark you could never forget about, no matter how much you wanted to.

Amid the spontaneous party you finally turned back to Crocodile. Amidst it all, he was still only looking at you.

Your words were quiet compared to the raucous around you, but your captain heard you just fine.

"If you become a Warlord I'm leaving the crew."

A couple of nearby crew gasped, heads whipped in your direction and murmurs quickly took place of all the yells.

Instantly protests, people yelling your name, yelling their arguments, but it all fell on deaf ears as you stared down your captain.

Tink of all people knew it was futile to argue with you, and turned to the man of the hour. "Captain! You can't just let your first mate leave!"

Before she could continue, Crocodile interjected. "You never planned on making me King of the Pirates, right? So you never planned on staying on this ship anyways."

This evoked even more protests from the crowd. Many of them weren't sure what you two were talking about, and some had begun to yell again.

The sounds were starting to be overwhelming, and this was not a conversation that required the whole crew anyways.

"That's enough from everyone!" You yelled over the cacophony. The crew went quiet. "This is a conversation for me and the captain, the rest of you need to beat it! Do something useful, we will make a port soon."

The crowd was not placated in the least, but it was true the ship would be docked soon, and there were things that needed to be prepared beforehand.

"You heard them. Get back to work." Crocodile finished your command, and the crowd dispersed. You knew they would still be listening, but it didn't stop you.

"I refuse to be part of a crew that works alongside the Marines. If you become a Warlord you automatically become their dog - then you may as well be a dog of the celestial dragons." Your tongue burned even at the mention of the world nobles.

Crocodile took a long drag of his cigar. He looked away from you and sighed an exhale of smoke, then dragged his line of sight back to you.

"I haven't decided yet."

You bristled at this. "Are you suggesting they already offered this to you? And I had to find out through a newspaper?"

Crocodile took yet another drag, and you lost your patience with his nicotine addiction. "Answer me Crocodile."

Your captain sighed through his nose this time, some of the smoke reaching you, a familiar smell after all these years. It once may have been a nice fragrance, knowing your captain was near, but now it blinded you and stoked your anger.

"We are almost to Water 7. Let's save it for there."

Tensions were high, especially between you and Crocodile, when your mood worsened when he disappeared while you oversaw the docking. But you docked. You got the crew into a hotel. During this time the crew began splitting into sides, which was not something you had anticipated. But you ignored it all until finally, Crocodile returned and you cornered him into in a room alone with you.

He had no cigar, and you had no drink in hand. It was a painfully sober room.

Crocodile sighed and slumped into an armchair. He dragged his eyes across the room till they met yours. You refused to look away this time, jaw set with determination to stand your ground.

"I don't want to be the Marine's dog," Croc began. "But they offered me a deal."

"The deal that our crimes are excused? Big whoop, as long as we don't get caught it's almost the same."

"No," he sighed, a large ring covered hand dragging down his face in exasperation. "A deal to help take down Whitebeard."

That got you silent. For a moment, as you recalled every time you saw Roger and Whitebeard exchange blows and fight for days on end.

"You? Take down Whitebeard?" You laughed, but it was a dry and bitter thing. "Your bounty is $81 million berries. Your devil fruit is great and all, but it is by no means fight and beat Whitebeard good. Even if Newgate was without his crew, our entire crew would be wiped off the map. You've lost it if you truly believe that this is achieveable."

Crocodile glared from across the room. Not his usual, perpetual glare, but a genuine, freeze you in your tracks ice cold glare.

He stood up, all 8 feet imposing over you as he stalked across the room. "I have let you say plenty of cruel things to me, but this may cross the line."

But you were his first mate and you couldn't fear him if you were supposed to talk sense into him. "Cross the line? I'm not the one who is making deals with the Navy so I can sail us to our deaths at the hands of Whitebeard!" You were yelling now, no, roaring at your foolish headstrong captain.

"If you take that ship and that crew as it is now to the New World to fight Whitebeard and his sons, no one will come back alive!" Your heart was on fire with rage and frozen in fear. Rage at your captain, who is very much overestimating his abilities. Fear for your crewmates who have no idea what sort of danger their captain was going to put them in.

Crocodile was now truly enraged on the same level as you. He sneered down at you as he suddenly grabbed you by the neck - much to your shock. "I wanted you there to see me become the next Pirate King. But if you can't support me for this, one of the biggest moments in my life since I've been a pirate, then I have no need for you anymore."

With his free hand he opened the door that was behind you. A group of Marines walked in with cuffs ready. "To sweeten the deal, what better than to give a former Roger pirate to the Navy?"

You felt all the blood drain from your face, as fear for your own well being finally pierced your heart. You looked up at Crocodile, and you could feel tears begin to creep at the corner of your eyes. "You never fail to surprise me, Captain."

"Well done Sir Crocodile." One of the Marines spoke, and you could tell from their uniform it was a Vice Admiral, though you didn't recognize them.

"A public execution of a Roger's pirate should be a grand way to ring in your instatement as Warlord."

You felt the world slow down around you and felt Crocodile's grip on your neck slip at the Marine's sentencing.

Crocodile began to speak, "That was not what we agreed on," But your ears had begun to ring.

Growing up on the Oro Jackson, you had picked up some neat tricks. You found out you were hopeless with the color of observation haki, but had a special knack for color of arms. Perfect against those darn logia fruit users.

In a blink of an eye you ripped Crocodile's arm away from your neck and you made a mad dash past him. And jumped straight through a window, glass and all.

You could vaguely hear a commotion behind you as Marines ran after you, but it was lost with the ringing in your ears.

You could hear and feel your heartbeat, pounding throughout your body as you ran through the endless alleys and canals of Water 7. You could feel tears pierce through the wind rushing past your face as you ran, desperately with no objective.

All you could think about was the way the heat of Crocodile's hand felt on your neck, the cold metal of the rings that had pressed against your pulse.

Have you ever really touched Crocodile before?

…

You missed him. You didn't understand why. He had just betrayed you - fucking hell, he was just handing you over to the Navy as part of his deal to become a warlord, but god. You wanted to be with him anyways. You're not sure how long you've been in love with him; his sharp eyes, the smell of his cigars, the rings on his hands, but gods above.

You had fallen in love with Crocodile.

In your realization you slowed down. Your legs and lungs burned, you were gasping for air and not just because you had been running.

Has it always been this dark? When did the day leave you behind?

You now stood in some nondescript alley, dimly lit a golden hue by windows that lined it. It was a long alley, each end blocked by canals. How you arrived there you weren't certain. But you weren't alone.

At one end sand had appeared. And from it stepped your dear, awful captain Crocodile. You both stared at each other, both of you panting for breath.

"I didn't want it to be like this." Crocodile's voice cuts through the air to you. You knew you should run. But for some reason you couldn't find the strength.

"I didn't know they would execute you. I imagined they would send you to Impel Down." Crocodile continued to speak. You just stood there and listened as he walked towards you.

As you watched him, there was a strange look on his face. You've seen it before but still didn't know what it meant.

He stopped walking ten feet in front of you. The light was still too dim to see him clearly, but it was fine. You knew his face well enough.

"I won't let the Navy kill you. Not after what the nobles did to you, it feels wrong." You had never told Crocodile what the scar on your back was. It didn't feel like it mattered anymore.

"I think I'll feel better about this if I'm the one who kills you."

You knew this was coming. The second you saw him at the end of the alley. But you agreed with him. If you had to die at someone's hands, you would pick Crocodile over anyone else. Even if it meant he didn't feel the same about you, it didn't matter anymore. You were so tired.

It would be nice to see Roger again.

But then Rayleigh's face flashed in your mind. You still had to pay him a visit. You still had to visit Wano to see Oden. You wanted to see Shanks and Buggy find the One Piece.

You couldn't see Roger just yet.

So, in a sudden scramble, you turned around and ran.

The ground where you had been standing suddenly crumbled. You felt a gasp finally escape your lungs as you realized you almost gave up. But not yet. You had to save your crew too.

Then you finally ran out of luck. The dim light hid a hole in the cobblestones and you fell to the alley ground. You quickly twisted your body just in time to see Crocodile's scythe of sand arc straight towards you.

It hits you right in the chest, and crumbles to dust.

Confused, you run your hands through the sand that has landed on your lap. You're not cut in half - instead you just have sand all over you.

Crocodile change his mind? He was letting you go? Thoughts and heart still racing, you looked up at him.

Oh.

Oh no.

The horror on his face was plain to see - that was supposed to be a killing blow.

But he didn't hurt you.

Your hand jumped to your neck from when he grabbed you earlier. But in retrospect, you had just been shocked by the action, he hadn't harmed you.

Crocodile didn't hurt you.

No.

Crocodile couldn't hurt you.

Because he was your soulmate.

It was the look on his face that hurt you the most. The disgust, anger, horror - this man did not want a soulmate. He did not want you. So why bother sticking around?

You scrambled back to your feet. Even if he couldn't hurt you, the Marines still could.

So, with blurry eyes and a heavy heart, you ran away.

Faintly, you heard a painfully familiar voice call your name, but then all that was left was the wind as you ran.

pt. 2 (if you want, but this might be better as a one shot)

#one piece #sir crocodile #crocodile one piece #crocodile x reader #one piece fanfiction #zirowrites #x reader

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skelebellie · 3 months

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okay this is something i’ve been thinking about since watching hazbin hotel

tdlr: the four horsemen and its correlation to hell, heaven, and power of overlords.

so, i’ve been doing a lot of research about christianity for a hazbin hotel oc/persona, bc i was *accidently* put into a christian cult/future megachurch as a child and this is what they call healing. as such, i’ve been doing research into the book of revelations vs. the book of ezekiel. SPECIFICALLY the interpretation of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. typically these are interpreted as death/pestilence, war, conquest, and famine. now, there’s two interpretations of the four horsemen. one where its interpreted as the four horsemen being on the ‘good’ side since their released by jesus/lamb of god/lion of judas by unlocking 4/7 seals of the book in gods right hand.

the other, which I interpret more, is the idea that the four horsemen of the apocalypse dont belong to a side. their whole shtick is that they enact chaos and destruction by virtue of gods will in order to prep for the rapture. their very existence is contradictory of each other, to be an enactment of god (which is considered good or holy), yet enacting destruction and chaos.

which brings me to this little thought.

i wondered /what/ gives a sinner power in hell. we’ve seen that deals certainly do something, but it seems as if some demons just spawn in hell with a shit ton of power. at first i thought ‘oh yeah its gotta be dependent on how bad they are or what sins they committed’, but that DOESNT MAKE SENSE. 1) (i only number this and nothing else) alastor is one of the most powerful sinners in the pride ring yet even he has a moral code (re: vizies q+a answer about alastor having similar morals to dexter). And for someone like Valentino, who I would argue as the most ruthless evil motherfucker out there, to have less power than a walking and talking TV, it just doesn’t make sense. Of course- the originals sins we see in Helluva Boss are going to be powerful because they are the original sins, but what about everyone else, about humans.

That’s what the rapture is about, clearing the earth and saving the “good” people, the idea that humanity has become too poisoned and we need to start over (they shit on humanity for 90% of the show, justifiably). But the four horseman represent everything in humanity that remains eerily constant. there was always been war, famine, death/pestilence, and a need to control others (conquest). they are but facets of what already exist. so what if a sinners (previously humans) powers come from their enactment of these principles during their living life. Alastor embodies a lot of famine (cannibalism) and death (serial killer), Vox has a need to control (conquest) others, Carmilla literally runs her entire company based on the fact that people need weapons to fight against angels (war).

and it would make sense why adam, despite being the supreme douche leader that he is, hasn’t been cast out of hell. he does what he does because he believes its a necessarily act, but all it does it scream war and death like a 5 year old on caffeine. the four horsemen do not choose a side, so no matter where their represented, heaven or hell, its still a justifiable fuel for power.

anyways autism speaks and sure is it loud. this is a very whishy washy theory but i think it’s an interesting idea and i am 100% down from criticism from people who understand the bible way more than me.

#hazbin vox #hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel oc #hazbin alastor #angel dust #alastor #lucifer #helluva boss #hazbin hotel theory #charlie morningstar #vaggie #hazbin hotel adam

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mugentakeda · 5 months

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its like I desperately DO want to explore Iroh maybe emotionally manipulating Zuko his very manipulatable nephew. NOT because I hate Iroh and think his actions in the show are all 100% manipulation but because I love him and how shitty he is. He's like shitty on accident and it's great.

"Whoops accidentally isolated my nephew whoopsies accidentally formed codependency with him. Oh well time to play scrabble" its so slay

THERES THIS UNFINISHED FIC I READ ON AO3 THAT GOES SUPER INTO THIS ACTUALLY i loved it so much it had such a heavy hand in changing how i view iroh (because when i was a wee middle schooler and first watched atla i too viewed uncle iroh as a do-no-wronger). at least the emotionally manipulating part. heres the link if you wanna read it :) now under the cut im about to spazz a bit on the topic of iroh and zuko and im not gonna make anyone read this word vomit unless they really want to LMFAOOO

the way i see it book 1 iroh was still in the dregs of grief over lu ten and was also still dealing w The Order which i imagine had him on thin ice for a WHILE before he managed to score the grand lotus promotion.

i personally dont think iroh was THAT distantly caring of zuko like he was portrayed to be in the fic i linked above and on the contrary i think he was having a Horrible Time during zukos recovery from his burn. but he was still distant in the way that he didnt know zuko that well yet and it was mostly the guilt on top of projecting himself and his feelings about lu ten onto zuko (the first of what will become Many) and thinking along the lines of “how could any father do this to their son, it angers me because id give anything to have lu ten back”, but then once iroh comes to love ZUKO then its “how could ozai do this to zuko”

but despite all that theres still a seven layer salad of problems, miscommunication, misunderstandings, guilt, baggage, and projecting. iroh comes to love zuko fiercely by the end of book 1 after he snaps out of his apathy and is forcibly booted from the ship, therefore a fugitive and therefore harder for The Order to access. SO, he can finally focus on getting ozais venom out of zuko. sadly, as ive said before, iroh only managed to get some of the venom out of himself not even a full decade ago. And its worse, because irohs an older adult.

thats not just a childhood and teenage years of propaganda and crimes. its a whole lifetime. And hes on time limits. sozins comet is coming. his nephew is really good at catching up with the avatar. the order tells him that sentiment and guilt cant get in the way of their goals. its a nice idea to realign zukos ideals with The Orders so iroh has an heir if he decides to take over once they hopefully topple ozai, or if he doesnt want to rule at all so zuko can take over instead- but if ozais venom reaches too deep and zuko cant be helped, The Order will take the measures necessary to remove him from the equation.

between the stress of trying to get zuko aligned with being ok with the avatar toppling his dad and sister and entire nation in less than a year with whatever methods the avatar sees fit, only like a few gallons of his own fire nation bullshit problems being flushed out a few years ago with plenty to spare so hes Really not the best at trying to get his nephew see things iroh himself doesnt even fully see, not realizing that zuko isnt the kind of kid that does well with vague proverbs and prefers it straight forward (and with enough tact to phrase things in ways that wont make him flip out when he hears things hes not ready to hear yet but at the same time without sugar coating), iroh is obviously not gonna do a perfect job.

matter of fact, id go as far to say hes not gonna even do a good job. ill give him one chewed up star and say he did a halfway decent job. a lot of people credit him for getting zuko on the right path as if he was the one that did the heavy lifting, when really he got lucky that zuko managed to pull himself out from under a fucking MOUNTAIN of deeply embedded propaganda and violent physical and emotional abuse trauma in under a few months versus iroh whos still working on it after YEARS. and his doesnt even include the abuse trauma. zuko is strong as fuck and that is his strength and nobody else deserves to be credited for that. iroh gave him pointers and a nudge in the right direction, but didnt give zuko a map and also made him take the route that involved zuko crossing the bridge with an evil goblin that would only let him pass if he solved his riddles three.

but DESPITE ALL OF THAT! despite all of that never getting properly resolved and discussed and brushed over- partly because brykes stinky asses giving irohs character the 180 and making him all ~hoity toity righteous ive never done anything wrong despite my obvious hypocrisy thats so bad it smells~ in book 3, partly because parents like iroh who have 100 million things wrong with them along with being bad at communicating barely Ever get their head right enough to sit and talk these things out with their kids, iroh and zuko still love each other so, so fucking much.

its the little things and the implications that get me the most?? iroh basically collapsing onto zuko during the siege of the north when he leaves zhaos ship and burying his face in zukos chest. zuko telling iroh that for the last time hes NOT playing the tsungi horn. iroh pestering zuko into going back to the port to find a fucking tile for a game that iroh can just buy new of and zuko just growling and stomping off. iroh pumping his fist and grinning at zuko beating up zhao during their agni kai. their banter. his nonchalance at zukos bluntness and rudeness. iroh bothering zuko into going to bed to no avail. his snarky remark at zuko sitting in his room in the dark instead of going on a walk with him. iroh sucking up their argument from the night before over ozai and going with zuko to join azula despite his suspicions while glowering at all the soldiers like a huge snarly bear protecting their cub. like UGHHHH THE VOICES THE VOICES!!!!

its just not a realistic parent child relationship if there arent an equal amount of softness to ease through the complicated tangles.

its the apology plate of cut fruit after the shouting match. you hate it because its like why wont you just say sorry to my face with your words, but then you realize you wouldnt know how to respond in words yourself, so you just eat the shitty cut fruit and say youre sorry back by doing some equally lame act of service later that day just to make the ground fully even again and all is forgiven without even having to say it outloud and both of you are thinking we’ll definitely talk it out later. later wont ever come but the love wont leave anyway so who cares (you both care).

i literally love them SO much dude i dont have enough words they have so many issues we should feed them ibuprofen by the spoonful and put them in a blender

#IM SORRY THAT THIS IS SO LONG ANON #this isnt even the 10 page thesis i told you guys about i could go on longer but i shall Refrain #HEURGHHHHH #asks

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kvothbloodless · 1 year

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A incredibly weird problem I see in a good portion of fantasy stories these days is something Ive been calling "Inferna delenda est", and which my less pretentious friends (all of them) call "the hell problem". Its sort of something that, because its a genre convention, is almost always ignored, but once you see it, it cant be unseen.

I admittedly only started seeing this after reading UNSONG, which is literally About this problem. But now that its been pointed out, I cant unsee it elsewhere, and any media which runs into it but doesnt address it becomes almost entirely ruined for me.

The issue of Inferna delenda est is present in any setting which 1. Has real, proven afterlifes where most people literally go when they die and 2. Has one of those afterlifes be at all comparable to Hell, i.e. any place where a significant number of sapient creatures are tortured for all eternity.

If those two criteria are met, almost any plot becomes pointless and trivial. What does it matter that a hero saves a city from destruction when beneath their feet millions of people are burning, and many of those saved will join them? Who cares whether the ruler of a country is corrupt or not? The evil that would be stopped by replacing them with even a perfectly competent and benevolent ruler is staggeringly inconsequential compared to that of an eternity of torment.

Like, im not being vague or making an analogy here. Im just saying that its incredibly difficult to care about a plot to stop a war or kill an evil wizard when the story offhandedly mentions the fact that millions of people are 100% being tortured for eternity in a real place and no one is doing anything about it.

And even further, it makes it Really hard to view the heroes as...actual heroes. The degree of callousness required to keep the existance of hell in the background (from an in-universe perspective) is just ridiculous. Like, if youve got your high fantasy hero saving an entire continent from an evil demigod or whatever, the fact that theyre Not constantly thinking about hell is just... if you have that kinda power, and you literally know for a fact that Hell is a place, then you should be fucked up about it!

Like I can understand that growing up in that setting youd be resigned to it, not much a random soldier or whatever can do about it. But once they become super powerful? And they never even Mention Hell? That much callousness automatically moves you down a few notches from hero.

Obviously in a lot of settings hell just sorta Exists, and soul sorting is vague, but even then like. Break into Hell! Rescue people or at least relieve their pain! Its just so insane that the worst thing literally imaginable as a physical place (maximum pain that lasts literally forever with no hope of relief) is a staple of lots of fantasy settings and so many authors just do not in any way address that.

And like I said, its not that theyre writing Poorly because of this. Its a genre staple, and if you dont give it too much thought it doesnt seem to be an issue, especially given [gestures vaguely in the direction of christianity and its popularization of the concept of hell]. But god now that its been pointed out it drives me Nuts.

Anyways idk where i was going with this. Read unsong, i guess?

#Ceterum censeo Infernum esse delendam #writing #rambling #moral philosophy #unsong #?#ignore this its just been bouncing around my head for a while and the group chat is tired of hearing me end every book review with #inferna delenda est #tracking

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lheautontimoroumenos · 11 months

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a lot of people are talking about the relationship between nat, travis and javi after 208 and definitely it is heart breaking and is gonna inform the relationship between nat and travis so much (whoever wrote like how could they throw it away how could they keep it, I'm still crying, thanks).

But I'm also really excited to see how shauna's gonna react. We haven't seen much of it as of late but in season 1 shauna and javi had a really sweet relationship. She shielded him in 102 when his dad was in the tree, he whittled her a little wolf, she gave him her knife, she gave him part of her journal.

Shauna cares, so much even when she doesn't want to. She says she never wanted to be a mom but in her dream she clearly loves that kid, and she cared for javi and she cared for jackie. She says it word for word in her police interview, she doesn't want to, she tries her best not to, but she loves so hard.

They've drifted away though, javi's been gone for so long and he came back but he doesnt speak and shauna has so much other stuff on her mind (the baby and jackie are dead, how can she have any kind of relationship ever again) she wouldn't be of much help.

But now he's dead, 100% dead, not just lost in the wilderness, but really dead. And they're gonna have to eat him but before that, shauna's gonna have to slit his throat and skin him and cut him into pieces. Just like riding a really gross fucked up bike. The first time she's going to do it on a human being is gonna be on a child. And she's a child too! They're all just kids!

Jackie's necklace is a sign of love given from one person to another despite it all, i choose you, it chooses you but i love you, and even if it doesn’t save you because nothing can, it matters.

Shauna's knife serves the same purpose but it's made clearest with javi. She gives him the knife and he gives it back with a gift, with love because that's all they can give to each other. Love and violence. Love through violence. And javi never had jackie's necklace but he had the knife, he had shauna's love. And isn't that just the same?

the very knife that javi used to make a gift to shauna will be used by shauna to make javi a gift to the others.

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets spoilers #javi martinez #shauna shipman #shauna sadecki #travis martinez #natalie scatorccio #jackie taylor #yellowjackets 2x08 #I just wrote this without reading it sobi moght be repeating myself #anyway #i am a shauna stan first and foremost so I'm interested in her relationships with everyone #but god no wonder natalie's so fucked up and she can't let travis go

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kyshiwarrior · 2 months

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some modern headcanons i have for jet

- farmer’s son!!! farmers market but also hosts the annual haunted cornmaze

- copy/paste of his mom

- he drives his moms’ minivan that has a whole bumper stickers dedicated to social activism, anarchy, anti cops, but also:

(he drives it with a lot of pride btw)

- skateboard cliche™️ though, so he doesnt actually use the van a lot

- has foster siblings ! including the duke who he walks to school every day

- has taught all his siblings how to fight in the basement and its like a mini fight club down there istg

- is the go-to person for when his siblings need someone to help them with a video game. jet’s a natural and lets the duke take the headset while he destroys everyone.

- 5-in-1 shampoo 😔

- no social media presence and will never get an online reference. he barely gets tv references. everything he learns is against his will.

- mostly watches kid movies cuz of his foster siblings. silent crier during sad scenes.

- i dont know if jet passed his driving test or not but i do know the small talk he had with the instructor made them hesitant on passing him

- punk patch jacket. lots of anarchy and pride pins on it too.

- no ‘devil’s advocate’ is safe around him

- jet will put his feet on the chair in front of him if absent and on the legs if taken. if you nicely ask him to stop, he will. if you’re a shit person, he’ll kick your chair forward or steal shit out of your bag little by little.

- he excels in team work and public speaking so he’d be nice to have for group presentations. in theory.

- pencil chewer…. pen chewer… 🫠🫠🫠draws on desks… writes answers on desks for the person after him😏😏… sticks gum under desks 😰😰😰

- candy cane season is the best time of the year cuz oral fixation + makeshift weapon

- matcha latte enjoyer, black coffee budget

- has a rich vocabulary

- cant pay him enough to understand microsoft excel

- t-ps houses of people he doesnt like

- takes the fall for anything that his friends would get in trouble for

- once made something blow up in chemistry on purpose because “I thought you were bluffing 🤷‍♂️”

- food shelter volunteer on the weekends

- walkman and vinyl record elitist

- technically has a phone but uses it hardly ever, only curfew and walkie talkies because its more fun. big fan of never saying hes coming over he just shows up.

- calls authority figures by their first name or the wrong name

- mom will take his side no matter what and often times the reason he got in detention shes proud of him

- “too many cops out today” if he sees a single cop

- walmart thief who winks at cameras

- skateboarder cliche™️

- possible sports: lacrosse and soccer

- 100% down to teach little league and is amazing at it

- fun camp counselor who establishes core memories all of which involve pranks and breaking camp rules for the sake of fun and chaos

- teachers hate to love and hate to love him

#jet

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alwaystuesday · 6 months

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Ok so I'm still here. Apparently. Floating around in all your art and metas and fanfic. And it's wonderful and angst-inducing at the same time.

Some thoughts I'm mostly writing down and sharing to try to help them escape the confines of my tired, tired head. Maybe then I can have some peace? Probably not but still.

1. I dont like assigning blame or taking sides between our ineffable idiots. Love isnt a competition. People are what they are and sometimes choice doesnt come into it. Sometimes everyone loses. Sometimes people can be absolutely made for each other - absolutely 100% destined and perfect, and just what the other needs. But their pasts and their presents and their emotional needs and external ties are just too far away from each other in a moment in time. It doesnt - cant - happen. Incompatible operating systems. Sometimes things work out later. Sometimes never. That's a real life outcome people have to live with sometimes, folks.

2. Those guys are dorks. Look them both. Look at their hair style choices. Look at the angel's magic show and tartan compulsion. Crowley's ridiculous snake belt and fondness for ducks. I love them so much. I bet almost all of us can see a bit of both of them in ourselves. I'm an Aziraphale operating system with Crowley software.

3. I'm in team they both consciously know they're in love with each other at least as far back as 1967. Probably in 1941 (I really hope there's a part 3 to the London Bliz meeting in s3). Maybe Crowley knew by the time he was asking for holy water. Maybe much earlier. In some ways I think the exact moment of realisation matters less than the fact that by S1 they def know and are both already used to repressing it. Pretending has become so second nature as to be everything. Part of their lived "us". And where do you even start unpicking something that's part of "us"?

4. Whether they both have the same concept of what it is to be "in love" is an interesting question. My own concept of love has changed so much over time just during my couple of decades of adult life that I imagine 6000 years could take you to a lot of places, especially layering in the complexities and realities of queer love through history.

5. I am certain they're both living in a state of absolute terror at the implications and risks that such love creates - but in different ways. Crowley's experience of losing God's love, and the reality of the physical and mental torture that came with that and what that's done to him as an individual will hit much differently than the angel's maybe more abstract, but perhaps more encompassing fear for himself and for Crowley. Aziraphale has lost less and so has more still to lose. But the demon understands, anticipates the reality of loss much better. Perhaps it's not surprising that Crowley's default is to run away and defend what he has while Aziraphale's is to reach desperately for the outcome that maximises what he can keep (i.e. please can I keep heaven/God/Earth and Crowley?!)

6. I'm looking forward to seeing how S3 gets them through all this and to their happy ending. Because I dont believe Terry and Neil would leave those two with anything else in the end.

Kudos to anyone who managed to read to the end of this nonsense!

#they really need to put an addiction warning on this show #repeatedly taking pyschic damage #good omens #ineffable husbands #go2 #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #good omens s2

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mixelation · 1 year

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The "who in the akatsuki loves a fat ass" chart, according to me and my opinions:

#1 ass man is Hidan 100%. Dude likes to grab and needs something to hold onto, thick thighs, fat ass, love handles, all being grabbed.

#2 Zetsu, but not for sexual reasons. More to eat.

#3 Kisame, I feel like he could go either way, but he's a big dude. I also feel like in a relationship he'd generally be someone who enjoys having more to hold/grab but in a far more gentle kinda way when compared to hidan.

#4 Deidara, mouth hands makes grabbing ass difficult, unless your into that. I also don't think he'd care too much about how fat your ass is and would really just be interested in your opinions on art and more specifically his art.

#5 Obito, in a world in which he isn't still fucked up over his lost childhood cruch/friend and his best friends supposed betrayal, he'd totally be an ass guy. Grabby hands all the time (with consent from their partner of course.)

#6 Konan, in a world in which she isn't still crushed over her dead crush and her frGod, is using his Corpse to pretent to be a god, she'd totally be into fat asses. She's be respectful about it and would make it a point not to grab or mention it, in fact most people, even those close to her, wouldn't know about this preference becuase of how on the down low it is.

#7 Itachi, He does not care, he doesnt seem like much of an ass guy but he also isn't not an ass guy either. He'd be able to understand the appeal but it isn't exactly something he'd notice or pay attention to.

#8 Kakazu, idk man, he doesn't come off as having that big of a preference but also not someone who would judge a partner based off ass fatness. The only thing he's looking at is if your wallet is fat.

#9 Sasori, if you make it work and you look good with it he'd totally make you into a puppet. So much like zetsu it's not really a sexual thing, unlike zetsu he doesn't feel any sort of strong opinions on it.

#10 Nagato, even in a perfect world in which nothing bad happened to him, I do not see this man being an ass guy. Or even a boob guy for that matter, he just doesn't seem like the type.

(Bonus: If we add orochimaru into this he'd be right under hidan, you cannot tell me that man isn't kinky as fuck, he'd 100% want more to grab and hold onto.)

never had i wanted polls more. quick everyone weigh in with your opinions

#hidan is 100% a thighs guy. u right

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lazarus---rising · 1 month

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uhhhhhhhhhh that vice quadrant thingy you mentioned earlier? idk

YAY OK THIS ONWS GONNA BE . LONG

okay i have 2 explain some stuff first . blue matter is something peter walter 1 discovered , it's very important to the spg universe(s) . it's the thing that powers the robots. it has the capability to open rifts in space and time and it has before .

The thing that starts up the whole story is 2 characters from the becile family (which i havent explained yet) basically kidnapping rabbit to experiment on her blue matter core . 2 other characters (guy hottie(thats his actual name) and peter walter 2) break in to try and stop them, but a blue matter explosion fragments space and time , creating 2 universes . universe prime and universe omega . the explosion also sends a beam of blue matter into space .

universe prime

in universe prime , the blue matter beam hits peter walter the 3rd(refered to as IV from now on)'s space ship . he gets hit directly in the chest , the beam turns him into commander cosmo , granting him superhuman abilities (seen in the song Commander Cosmo) . he saves earth multiple times because hes been basically forced into this superhero role . he gets depressed and decides to trap himself in a star until it kills him . he goes into a rift in space (the achilles rift) and is brought to universe omega . his storyline continues in the universe omega section later dont worry about him for right now

a young peter walter 6 (refered to as VI from now on) starts working on the W.I.N.K project , a satellite built to find habitable planets (seen in Steamjunk) .

22 years later , the robots (the spine , rabbit , hatchworth) find W.I.N.K crashed near walter manor . he tells the robots about the green apple planet he found but lost because the space giant took it . they get VI to turn him into a spaceship and they go back into space to find the planet .

they go into space and find the space giant with the planet . the giant turns out to be a spg fan , they play some songs and he challenges them to a guitar duel , during the duel he just kinda shrinks down . into nothing . they get the planet back , W.I.N.K brings them home but decides to go back and live on the planet .

universe omega

before everything about commander cosmo , in this universe the blue matter beam doesn't hit IV's space ship . it barely misses , the crew starts studying the blue matter , and it leads to a domino effect on earth and humans make insane progress in technology , as seen in the song Progress And Technology (see what i did there. hehe) . the blue matter beam instead hits a russian space probe with human dna on it , creating cosmica/the daughter of space . cosmica finds IV's ship , and accidentally destroys it in her curiousity . she rescues IV from it , he's known as just the astronaut from here . they also fall in love btw theres like 5 love songs in the album abt them

back to commander cosmo . he seals himself in a dying star called the necrostar , accidentally bringing it back to life . just under 100 year timeskip , ravaxis starburner (character that hasnt shown up before hes new . hi rav) blows up the necrostar to free commander cosmo .

the astronaut and cosmica have been destroying moon bases and spaceships together . with help from a space militia , commander cosmo kills the astronaut and gets cosmica to realize Hey you cant let your boything kill people . it ends there but it DOESNT later on a fragment of the necrostar finds the astronaut's corpse and merges with it , creating the necronaut . the album then ends there for real this time . :3

#zero clue if this one even makes sense .walks away

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underscoredinnisg · 1 year

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Headcanons for feral 2D? 😮

ABSOLUTELY

this is prob in the early phases

(feral) 2D

-he 100% has a switchblade collection, and he always has at least 1 on him

-he uses them for everything, like literally this man has opened pop cans with them

-ya know how he was studying law before he joined the band? yea well he puts that to good use, he does illegal shit and then knows how to get away with it, hes gotten out of jail so many times

-murdoc yelled at him when he had a bad migraine once and he broke his nose (again)

-he has this general unsettling aura around him? he can be super nice and sweet and he does genuinely care for people, but also with being 6'2 and having blood filled eyes you kinda gain this vibe of "oh god"

-arson obsession, no joke has started a fire in his room

-he really enjoys graffiti, thats already cannon but like he has cans upon cans if spray paint in his room

-he does infact go out with a lot of people, he knows hes attractive and its a dangerous thing

-he zones out a lot, but no one ever knows where hes looking so again he just gets an unsettling aura around him

-he has bitten people in fights, and will continue to do so

-bites people just for fun, the funny thing is is that theres a blank space at the front where his front teeth should be

-this isnt really feral but he learned how to whistle through his missing teeth

-he likes small knives and blunt force objects for fighting more then anything, he has a bat in his room that he keeps by his bed

-his walk is really quite so he sometimes scares people by just appearing

-he was like this when he was a teen to, hes always been just a little bit insane

(ok now im gonna slip my own character in because i can)

-2D and Pumpkin (i have a post about him if you want to read it) steal shopping carts together and race them

-theyre pretty much partners in crime, one of them is doing something stupid you know the other one is there to help

-both of them have sucky vision (2D with the 8ball fractures, Pumpkin with having a literal pumpkin stuck on his head) so a lot of the time the chaos they cause doesnt go as planned

-both dumpster dive, doesnt matter that 2D is in a famous band, they both dumpster dive

-when they get high, oh god its like chaos squared but they both have to little coordination to pull it off

-so they end up stumbling around and maniacally laughing when the other falls

-2D ate spray paint once, he was just curious

-his mouth was orange for a week

-Pumpkins head can come off so him and 2D are seen commonly throwing it at eachother

-both are like 6'2 and like hanging out at night, so seeing them hanging around and spray painting a back alley is a little terrifying

-they wont jump you or do anything but they will stare at you until you leave

-they both steal street signs on the regular, both of there rooms are coated in them

Those are most of my headcannons around feral 2D, hes kinda just phase 1-3 2D but in more deapth.

i love them so much<333

#2d #2d stuart pot #gorillaz #2d gorillaz #stuart pot #2d headcannons #pumpkin #gorillaz headcannons

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coldvampire · 1 year

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on nines' wiki for fic stuff, have some copy-paste of me going Feral about him and kat in discord

crying thinking abt how genuinely kat will compliment her man & how inadvertantly Serious she gets bc she really does sincerely mean it & it would be easier to process if she was actually doing it to fluster him but no sometimes she just gets into a certain mood

also the idea of her like hgjhkj absolutely backing him 100% when other barons push back on shit like this, knowing that her reputation is in a very strange place where too much will be seen as in poor form but not really caring bc she knows how to exude enough bad vibes to get people to shut up lmao. his coterie might feel the same as she does but they dont have the same effect on audiences, the ventrue aura of 'listen to me or Else' comes in handy and he gfhjk doesnt quite know how to feel abt it being used for him lmao

she does love how much he cares tho,,, its a very sexy quality its not smth shes used to. she might not completely Agree with him all the time but the way she completely trusts him overrides that so it doesnt actually Matter. & i think she also sort of uses that as a better moral compass than the one thats been trained into her, like inherently she sees herself as a semi-bad person bc of how shes able to detach from certain decisions and thats just not how he operates & she has a lot of respect for that (& probably also misses the fact that if we're comparing traumas hers are a lot more. uh. Direct lmfao.)

also god love her but she is Not a Car Girl TM. she will sit there in the garage trying her hardest to follow along & ask questions but rly truly, she has no idea wtf he is saying to her. she recognizes that he is talking about parts and seems Excited & shes just glad it requires minimal thought on her end beyond very basic open ended questions. im pretty sure he thinks she understands a Lot more about mechanical stuff than she actually does bc shes very good at picking out important words and repeating them gfhjjfdgfhg shes not TRYING to bullshit interest she just doesnt have the heart to tell him she have 0 comprehension of anything he said just now. he is so stressed so much she wants him to be happy & relaxed whenever theres an opportunity for it :(

also he listens to her interests gfhgjh even if theyre significantly less technical lmao. she likes dissecting the manufactured drama & relationships of reality tv and stuff like that bc it reminds her of a Much lower stakes version of kindred politics & the pettiness is entertaining to her. he also gets to hold her while they watch on the couch or in bed while she goes & picks apart all of the 'fighting' and production tampering & he loves hearing her talk in general but its kind of fascinating to him how she can take something so shallow & dissect it, loves how Perceptive she is when it comes to people in particular. i think sometimes if she's maybe squirming a bit much or maybe if he just feels like it he'll offer to paint her nails. she's really on top of keeping up a manicure but doesnt always do acrylics & i think he would actually get fairly into the fact that 1. its essentially just Hand Holding for a reason and 2. it requires a decently steady hand & attention to detail so it doesnt get messed up and as someone who restores bikes with tiny intricate mechanical parts, hes surprisingly well suited to this. i bet he would do little designs too if he had the tools for it. it just feels good to do something for her :')

she knows jewellery even if she doesnt know fuck all about mechanics. firmly believe she just buys him stuff all the time & shes stupidly good at nailing what someone's preferred style is. like i dont think hes ever had someone who just casually gets so many things bc 'i saw this and thought of you' and again acts like its nbd??? because it is?? shes like yeah ofc why Wouldnt i? & tbh i dont even think that the gifts stop with him either once the rest of his coterie realizes shes cool and not a camarilla mole lmao they also start getting little things. jewellery keychains shirts Whatever, all usually just dropped into their hands mid-conversation with very little acknowledgment from her. if you mention youve had your eye on a bracelet or smth she'll just grab it without thinking. if Really pressed she'll probably brush it off as 'i wasnt spending my money anyway' (girl likes to take cash when she feeds from the wealthier Reverse Orphans TM especially if theyre also cheating gfhjhj) but rly. she just enjoys making people happy, which is also something her adores about her. its the casual way its just ingrained into her personality & how she doesnt make a huge deal about it, its just how she is.

ofc he always makes sure to take care of her back, she clearly expresses affection in gift giving and acts of service but she likes quality time & physical touch for herself. which is absolutely okay by his book, he was never even close to being as touch starved as she was at any point whereas she went literal Years without being touched in some way that wasnt negative or hurtful in some form. its overwhelming for her initially & she doesnt really know how to Ask for contact but by god she gets it through him. he's always loved holding her; she just seems to tuck in Perfectly into his arms. if she's maybe getting too overwhelmed with that then he's also good to switch gears to maybe just having a hand on her back or leg or holding her hand bc there's a period right when they first officially get together where she's still trying to level herself out after so much isolation. & he's such a constant reassuring presence, it almost doesn't feel real.

tbh if he wasn't as stable as he was im not sure she would have been able to heal properly after killing her sire, she had spent so long tethered to that man and shaping her life around running from him that she didnt quite know what to Do with herself when he was gone. nines didnt explicitly provide a 'purpose' for her life, he just gave her a place to rest and recuperate while she figured herself out and started to understand the fact that she was finally safe. & that's another thing, her sire might have been a genuine threat to the point she didnt want to risk his safety, but everything else? i doubt there would be any stopping his protection instincts. sometimes thats a concern to her, but again, she needed to be with someone who would be able to be that type of support & strength while she finally released literal decades of repressed trauma & a constant fight or flight state. he cant protect her from her own mind, but he can put a stop to any outside threats. she's never had that. he might have been abandoned by a ton of people in his life, but she would have taken that over the active harm/passive allowance of harm. understanding that, to him, she is someone worth protecting? its a wild learning curve.

im also sure theres some angst to be found in his history of being abandoned + her former commitment fear that evolved into the constant need to Be Around Him but also consider: the amount of comfort he would finally have knowing theres a 99% chance if theyre at home he just has to walk into the next room to see her (assuming she isnt already closer) & how she openly admits to wanting him on all levels, like shes not just gonna be someone else who walks out of his life. absolutely her favourite spot in the world is curls up beside him, like thats where she considers Home to be and ohh man. i think that just stirs smth up in him internally. ofc he cares about a lot of people and a lot of people care about him back but this is Different. in retrospect, knowing what she went through just to be able to sit here with him? even though there was a chance she would be rejected for not being transparent with her situation prior & never fully committing (even if she otherwise would have)? knowing he might be Too Hurt to let her back in and trying it anyway & letting him take the lead on the pacing and decide what it was He needed, that's insane. but she wanted to be with him so badly it was a risk she was willing to take on, which is telling bc her whole thing was caution to the point of being detrimental to herself.

it's like,,, he knows how it feels to have followers. but just like he did with her, she was able to peel back layers and layers of public-facing personality traits & see who he was in the privacy of his own home, and Still wanted him. imo even though he knows how to command a room, he's still not 100% positive what it is about Him Specifically that makes him so special to everyone else aside form being the guy who was in the right place at the right time to make a reputation for himself. but she's like. the one person where he actually feels like he maybe understand why she looks at him that way, & its still a nebulous feeling, but its more Concrete than what he gets from starry-eyed fledglings. kat is not and has never been someone who gives people more credit than they deserve or who blindly follows people. she's harsh and she has to have a Reason to do that.

if theres ever a situation where she has to drink blood outside of her restriction, you know he's gonna be the one to take care of her. she's not a fan of it, she's in pain and she feels gross and doesn't want him to Watch the whole episode, but why would he be put off by it? they both came from big families with plenty of kids, the threshold for being grossed out by that stuff is really goddamn high for them both lmao. also she looks completely Miserable curled up on the floor like that, if she needs someone to hold her hair and rub her back a bit then okay! she will have that its what she deserves! she's gonna resist a little at first bc she was always the one doing that for her sisters being the oldest with no mother/mother figure for most of their lives but like with a lot of stuff he does, she will relax and melt into the touch after a bit and start to physically decompress. if she's up for up she will also be carried to whichever soft surface she desires, no questions asked.

theyre so domestic it Hurts. fully believe the only actual regret she has about the relationship is missing the boat on them both being human & getting to live that normal suburban family life bc she know she would have completely abandoned her Rich Husband goals & it would have been fine in the end + her dad would have loved him. theres a very deep part of her psyche with a list of names that would have sounded fantastic for theoretical children like fdgfhgjh god. she is so far gone for him, 'vampires dont love' my ASS. not to be cheesy but he's It for her, even when theyre in a rough spot she literally cannot imagine being around anyone else or giving herself to someone so fully like that and trusting that they won't use that against her or shatter her heart in the process.

i just gfsfdhgfrwhgqsahxgfghgfejgwdshhjgrf theyre so in love. SO in love.

#oc tag #katerina irakleidis #nines rodriguez #i love them sosososososo much #this is just gfhgjh pure gushing under here lmao

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