#it is due for an update and i literally cannot fucking update it lmao i dont have the space

[tangledinink]

clenches fist. finally sucked it up and ordered a new ipad...

#i splurged a tiny bit and got one with... one whole fucking tb of storage #my current one has 64gb #it is due for an update and i literally cannot fucking update it lmao i dont have the space #im running out of things i can delete. i literally have procreate and thats IT i have long ago deleted all other apps for the space #i mean i am still getting. like. a refurbed ipad thats like gen 3 or whatever its certainly not NEW #what am i the queen? #but considering i currently have a gen 1 i could literally get anything and it'd be a hell of an upgrade #i have enough money saved up from comms/patreon/kofi/etc on my paypal that i could literally purchase this w/o touching my bank acct #so like! if you have at any point over the past like six months donated subscribed or commissioned me!!! THANK YOU!!!!! #you have allowed me to afford a new ipad and continue making things ; w ; #and hopefully finally get to try out procreate dreams which i havent been able to touch yet fhrfrhf32fe #I REALLY WANNA TRY TO MAKE AN ANIMATIC FOR YALL..... #i thought abt asking for one for xmas but i dont want to wait and it would be a V expensive gift to ask for and also like #id rather just pick one out myself... than rely on my family picking out smth... so... you know. timing is what it is whatever #XMAS GIFT TO MYSELF #personal #txt posts

[fecto-forgo]

i really honestly feel like that a lot of the criticism towards susie isnt justified. the capitalism stuff, sure, but she gets waaayyy too much flak for the mecha knight thing.

TBH i kind of want someone else other than susie should try to turn meta knight into a robot. just to see if they'd get hated on for it.

imagine if magolor were to do it. would he get scrutinized for it? or would people try to go through hoops to say it's okay if he does it, it was only bad when susie did it?

i already do sense some double standards in the fandom tho.....

you see the issue is i cannot for the life of me understand this beyond "susies a girl, and because of that shes the devil for hurting the fan favorite guy", disliking her bc of the theme? sure! completely fair! believing she could have been better redeemed? i can see a point! misunderstanding her for a while due to SAs translation completely changing what her recent goals are implied to be? very understandable they fucked her updated character up there

but no, what people get irrationally angry about is she happened to pick meta knight and how DARE she do that to poor meta knight?!

but...thats where my confusion is, if ANY other character had done that to MK theyd not get backlash for it, itd be an angsty meta knight moment for fans theyd absolutely ADORE and theyd form opinions on whoever did it for the character they are (see:every dedede possession, barely see anyone even acknowledge who did it that much, its about dedede being affected w the culprit being disregarded), not for who they happened to use for the "puppet" role, susie.is not allowed this, shes the girl who hurt meta knight, multiple peoples entire opinions of her revolve around the fact she roboticized meta knight (remember btw.he was LITERALLY fine.theres nothing implying this was painful and he recovered extremely quickly) susie is not allowed to be anything but a massive bitch who hurt poor fan favorite meta knight

and dude i just.dont get it, i dont get why its so comically common for fandoms wide to be overly harsh forming opinions on the girls, giving them absolute hell for things theyd absolutely praise men for doing, id understand if it was implied to be awful for MK or if someone just doesnt like him being in bad situations, but no, if ANY male villain did that ppl would be going over the moon they got juicy meta knight angst and a cool other guy, is overly judging female characters so inherent in peoples brains this is subconscious?? its just.so fucking insane to me.i literally cannot understand this

heck everytime ive seen ppl talk abt the stuff w fecto forgo trying to possess meta knight its just as i said itd go (forgo is either genderless or non binary, for note.so rly further proof the issue is susies a girl) its abt the experience being bad for MK, not abt how the one who did it is an horrible being, its.so fucked up susie is not even allowed to be disliked because of her own character, its because she hurt a man so shes the actual devil for doing that

TL DR please hate susie at least because of her whole character and not because she happens to be a girl who hurt a man (basically ask yourself:if she were a guy or enby, would you still be this angry about that? if not, reconsider if youre not being subconsciously biased to see her as way worse because shes a woman.if yes lmao relax youre being normal and just dont like your favorite being hurt)

#god this got LONG but sorry subconscious bias bc a character is female is INSANE it makes me so mad #ask

[aestheticaashes]

actually screw it yeah update post time, buckle up cuz life has literally been insane since The Move initially started and we're gonna sorta cliffnotes this shit starting with stuff i have probably already talked about

✩ got a job offer across the country at the beginning of august, accepted, ended up not making it out of state in time to actually start it due to some transport issues

✩ started heading out at the end of september (finally) alongside my parents, shitass car overheated so hard we couldn't go further, parents headed out and we stuck around where we broke down in my parents' rv which was also having trouble

✩ left the rv mid-october to head back to stay with some family back 'home', been here since

✩ got a job while waiting for parents to be able to help at least me get where we were going and get a job so i can get my husband out there too, lasted two weeks before life problems + my shitty mental health made me quit for Actual Straight-Up Safety Reasons

✩ have spent this entire time being pissed off and trying not to be ungrateful for what i've got but it's difficult because MAN does the family who's letting us stay here make me want to commit crimes. love them to bits but we have. vastly different needs and views.

✩ just like. imagine being a grandparent who is constantly like "are you guys eating enough? do you need help?" while making food that you have been informed your grandchild's husband cannot eat for Health Reasons, and then getting upset that your grandchild gets irritated about the fact you're offering them food their husband cannot eat. she's trying but it's just. frustrating.

✩ got the flu for the first time ever and it knocked me on my fucking ass for almost two weeks, still sort of getting over it almost three weeks after the symptoms fully stopped. when i say i literally lost 10 pounds i couldn't afford to lose i am serious. i couldn't eat fucken ANYTHING it was horrible

✩ have a flight booked to get out of state on Feb 10th!! + have job interviews set up already, so things are looking up, busy packing and cleaning up and making sure my husband (and best friend who is staying with us) will manage to survive without me as i am the only one with Real Life Adult Experience out of the group for a lot of reasons

✩ and i think that's it? idk there's been A Lot and i don't feel like getting into it in detail at this point lmao, it'll edge way too close to me venting

✩ anyways i'm still offering commissions!! just now it's more "pay what you want" because i certainly have time to write i just have trouble working on stuff that's For Me at the moment lol

#rhysie.txt #rhysie talks #personal #sorta #anyways no for real hmu if you want me to write somethin for you #you can just throw $5 at me along with an idea and i'll write it #... generally speaking at least like i at least gotta know the source material

[figitorynonsense]

Ummm hello

I’d like to hear about your Miniforce OC’s please if that isn’t a bother

hi!!! hello!!!!!!

id gladly talk abt them

this is gonna be a little long

STARGAZER

so like stargazer isnt from earth but like the embodiment of some random star that fell to earth btu was found by pascal and managed some stuff including calling the villains and supplying him with dark energy and materials for the mechamons

stargazer’s initial name at this time was ‘Snake-eye’, aka the name the fanfiction theyre from!!!!!

soon when pascal was defeated they were a rogue and went into a dormant state in some mountain for quite a while before Zenos awakened

due to their exposure and connection to dark energy they were somewhat drawn to where zenos was and started serving him and basically helped call over aliens and helped keep the ship in shape

though bcuz zenos was a total bitch they started to hate him secretly and when he was defeated stargazer renamed themself to stargazer and decided to join the miniforce [they required little training due to them already having a lot of experience and all that random stuff balh blah blah]

so they ended up temporarily joining m03g for a while in a fanmade ‘show’: spirit of the dragons

theyre like a stylistic sassy bitch with a dash of trauma and fortune teller

they’re actually called ‘agent white’ instead of something like ‘agent violet’

its weird i know

also back to their history

before joining the miniforce some random villan [turns out to be the fanmade show’s main antagonist!!!] beat them up and nearly killed them

thus they lost some eyesight and has a scar across their neck that is hidden by their scarf

oh yea and for delusion form ; when the appear to have legs, the thing they use is called a ‘mirage pearl’ and for them it is embedded into their neck and also a collection of some space magic

it can break and crack which can lead to uh… questionable delusion forms

stargazer has purple blood btw

oh yea and ;

space magic is a type of magic where the holder can use various constellations to summon stuff like arrows and bullets

it does require a crap ton of charging, mental focus, and energy tho

space magic enhances X disks and the user’s sense of time

they can actually use a littleeee bit of mystical magic but they find it tiring

cerulean

ha uh

he is tricky to explain

cerulean is like an anti-hero and basically ray but on a lighter level and wayyyyy more blunt

She is capable of flight [unlike SOMEONE] and teleportation

he can just kinda teleport anywhere [including into someone] and also can teleport others with enough mental concentration

he fights stargazer every other nanosecond but still ends up doing something good

kinda a loner but she did receive training but like dropped out at the last minute

one of his eyes got ripped out by — you guessed it, that random villan i brought up while talking about stargazer [their name is raven]

he does join the team for a while but disappears later

cerulean’s light blue ribbon things are embedded into his back and literally cannot be ripped out or he’ll fucking die

though it does help her with gliding down when he teleports on air

he is very sleep deprived and needs help and therapy

Raindancer

who let the cat out

raindancer is a little dumb idiot with more trauma thus the bandages on their stomach

they have rlly bad burns on there and their lower body is pretty much cursed so they mainly use magic to summon weather and stuff [thunderstorms… tornadoes… etc] which are all controlled

their lower body was cursed by ZENOS after an encounter and theyre glad hes fucking dead

theyre a cat btw :3

also they cant cook at all LMAO

overall pretti silly creechur

yes they use cat crutches sometimes

anyways they fought pascal in secret and so did they with zenos

they do not appear in the fanmade show sadlee

[update: they do and alot of the stuff on this post is prettyyyy inconsistent]

ye a thx so much for asking !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#miniforce ocs #miniforce #ocs #thx for ask!!!!!!!!! #long post #a lot of swearing #a lot of death mentions #and a lot of mindless rambling #!!!

[sunflower-butch]

I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU TO ANSWER ALL OF THEM OR AT LEAST 10 OF YOUR CHOICE

HA BET. I WONT REFUSE A DARE. I chose 10. Also still fangirling over the fact you like my writing BEE TEE DUBS 🥹

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

Yes!!! While somehow may not be my favorite of my fics, I’m very proud of the world building! I wanted to put an Upside-Down twist on lycanthropy and I’m very excited to flesh that out more when I finally get back to that fic!!! I love golden retriever werewolves as much as the next person, but I wanted a spooky, slimy, Upside-Down demogorgon-y werewolf for this fic!!

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

I have. So many. Let me just link the playlist and pick a favorite to ramble about LMAO

I’ve been thinking a LOT about “Kissaphobic” by Makeout Monday and how it could relate to Nancy “comphet” Wheeler falling for Robin and being afraid to kiss her because it makes it Real.

11. Are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is?

I’m obviously very partial to Ronance! But! I have a special place in my heart for Buckingham and Chrickie and even Rockie (if the Duffers give Vickie an actual personality). I think Ronance to me is most appealing in part because they’ve,,, actually interacted, but! They’re both such easy characters for me to project on and write for. I love their dynamic and the push and pull between them?? They’re both intelligent women who can kill you. And you cannot tell me that Nancy, who has struggled and been looked down on as a woman in a male dominated work space, didn’t fall in love with Robin while she was ranting about crybaby Petey McHugh. Jonathan and Steve could NEVER.

15. What’s your favorite AU that you’ve written?

Maybe cheating since I’m two whole chapters in, but she will pull the trigger on you (and the trigger is of love). Allow me to be sappy for a sec, but this fic is a combination of my favorite tropes and my own little love letter to the community of mutuals I’ve been accepted into here on Tumblr. I’m taking all our shared headcanons and common tropes and trying to pack it into one story. It will probably be literally Insane™️ but that’s half the fun of it! And the excuse to write enemies to lovers and SLOW BURN TENSION OH BOY. The inherent homoeroticism of being hunted by a monster hunter!!! BANTER!!! And I just. I just fucking love werewolves okay.

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

Yep. I have written one (1) smut fic. That was?? It wasn’t terrible, I just have NO IDEA what I’m doing and the pacing felt weird and I’ll be the first to admit that I am getting over being kind of a prude LMAO

38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful?

Definitely! run away (crying to your soul) was my FIRST fic ever, and it’s not even finished, and it’s right on the cusp of like,,, 10k hits? It’s not my best writing, it’s absolute crack, the pacing is Wrong, the dynamics are a little meh, I know I can do better!! But!! It is still my first fic, so I’m proud of it for that! I’m just surprised it got as popular as it did ajskskksks. I’d guess it’s honestly mostly due to the fact that it’s pretty lengthy and when I started it WAS updating very quickly. Idk man, it’s a fever dream.

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

HEY DON’T MIND ME LINKING ONE OF YOURS BUT,,, a never ending story is just… Wow. You can TELL when a writer has experience in poetry and I will lose my mind every goddamn time. I’ve never been good with poetry and I will always be jealous of writers who are able to pull from that to write some of the most heart wrenching prose you’ve ever read. Another really good example is anything by @sapphicriley / khalasaar!!!

43. If you take/write prompts: what’s your favorite prompt fic that you’ve written?

This one isn’t on AO3! I had an angst prompt that I was actually really proud of where Robin and Nancy have an argument, within the SSMH au! Link here!

48. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

I already mentioned it on 41, and obviously YES. But before that, amongst the rubble and stone by signsoflight. And yes again!! I LOVE outsider POV fics, it’s such an interesting way to examine characters we love and the worlds they inhabit!! This fic does an excellent job of that without the main character being a huge focus! And I just love Nancy Wheeler! Sue me!

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!

I have like 6 recently started WIPs RIP. But! The one I’m most excited for right now is a Christmas fluff fic based off a prompt by @gaymessallday ! (I know it’s November but I’m slow and I want to post it around Christmas ahskskskks)

Essentially, Robin and Nancy are strangers on the same flight, get stranded due to snow, and end up stuck in the same hotel room for a couple of days

Boarding the rest of the plane took ages, but Nancy resolved herself to listening to her music and making a game—counting every person in a Christmas shirt—in her head to ease any pre-flight anxiety. A couple in matching reindeer tees. A child in a snowman sweater. A grandfather with an inappropriate Santa joke.

She counted twenty seven by the time the line ended. The seat beside her was empty, and Nancy breathed a sigh of relief—

Too soon.

Twenty eight, a gangly girl with honey hair and the ugliest Christmas sweater Nancy had ever seen scrambled down the aisle. She was apologizing profusely for being late, all the way to her seat—right beside Nancy.

“Hey, sorry, don’t mind if I just scooch in here,” the stranger said, grinning, something lopsided. Nancy gave her a thin lipped smile.

“Window seat, huh? I love watching the cities go by,” the girl continued, buckling in. The safety spiel had begun, but the stranger did not stop. “Of course, I’m not trying to get you to move! The aisle seat is cool too. Less crowded, easier to get up to pee mid flight!”

Nancy was beginning to wonder if this girl ever shut up.

#hm now is a great time to realize it is 3 am and I should be asleep #ANYWAY #THANKS YOU FOR THE ASKS #I love getting to ramble about random stuff and especially writing and hyperfixations #also SERIOUSLY in love with a never ending story #it is anything but cringy #lo answers stuff #candle-lion #still fangirling about that #sorry not sorry #ask game #fic rec #ronance

[vtforpedro]

medical update and stuff. trigger warnings in tags I’m extremely frustrated. it’s been 15 months of frustration lol so so so sick of doctors, so sick of living through this. I am tired and getting no relief you might remember, but I was given a ‘possible’ IIH diagnosis in October. we’ve been treating it like it is IIH, which means everything has always been real etc etc and the treatment is weight loss. started my ‘better eating habits’ on nov 1st. then I immediately had the thing with my chemo pill packing on a ton of excess fluid, worsening my head to the point of ER and calling my neurosurgeon, getting taken off my chemo pill, and it wasn’t until mid-december that I actually started to see any fucking weight loss cause of that my pcp told me 5lbs a month. so I’ve been right on track with that despite wishing I could lose 10 a month but that’d be starving myself so lol I’ve lost 15lbs but now something exciting is happening again!! I am retaining fluid and I have NO idea why. which means my head is now as bad as it was last summer when everything was at its worse. constant all day long, pills barely doing anything for me, vision issues, pain issues. it feels like something broke in the base of my skull/neck because I get the scariest sensations there. it’s horrible. no human being should have to live this way and I do it every single day, numerous times a day anyway I had to go to the ER last thursday A G A I N because a doctor sent me. my pupils were noticeably two different sizes. I’d noticed three days beforehand and convinced myself I was imagining it cause it wasn’t a huge difference. finally took a picture and no, def not the same size and my eye looked like it was going inward? anyway, called my pcp, they had me come in that day, he saw it from a foot and a half away, sat back, and said I need you to go to the ER, you need your brain looked at. so again, I’ve been seeing this for three days while my head has been 10/10 extreme due to pressure in it. I get there and have to wait a while but less than two hours later when they finally looked at me? gone. pupils back to normal. doctor talking down to me like I was just an anxious mess and not that another dr sent me cause he saw what I did lol and his notes were in my chart. so, wasted visit and they put a covid patient 15ft from me and intubated them, so get to remember what that sounds like forever and ever (covid patients are supposed to be separated from other ER patients). now I’m doing a 10 day quarantine while I am so severely disabled I cannot bend over to take care of my cats food/litter/etc and it’s why my mom half lives with me but she can’t right now :) getting a covid test in three hours and it’s been eight days with nothing but head issues + fluid retention so hoping it’s negative the fluid retention I had before was a side effect of my chemo pill. I don’t know why this is happening. I should be 17lbs down now and I’ve actually gained weight despite being on the same diet that lost me the 15. I’m back to 13lbs down. this makes me feel like I might be carrying 4lbs of water weight. let me break this down because yesterday a PA told me my symptoms were too ‘ambiguous’ to say if fluid retention is happening or not - fluid retention from the chemo pill was ALL felt in my stomach. it was distended and bloated like I’d eaten at a buffet every single day - head got massively worse, enough to go to the er, doc and I agreed the fluid retention causing me to fluctuate between 15lbs was making the IIH worse - not urinating often despite drinking a normal amount - got on a diuretic, seven days later the weight was gone, head was better, started losing weight this is what I’m experiencing now - fluid retention that is causing my stomach to feel very bloated and look/feel distended - head has gotten massively worse, enough to send me to the ER - should be losing weight, have actually gained weight on a low fat, low calorie diet - the only difference this time is that I am dehydrating myself (yes I know, bad, but it is literally saving my life) because I experimented one day with half my water intake and my head was miles better. still experiencing a terrible head episode once or twice a day but it’s not 10/10 constantly - and the second difference is despite not drinking enough water, I am actually urinating more often and it’s a lot more clear than it should be, the color I expect when I’m hydrating well I consider this ^^^^^ to be a good case of why I think I have fluid retention but being told my symptoms were ‘ambiguous’ and throwing me to my neurosurgeon instead is HNNNNG (esp because diuretics are known to help IIH symptoms FOR THIS EXACT REASON) I have VERY recently had my sugars checked a few times, glucose is normal. VERY recently had an abdominal CT, also normal. it’s not diabetes, it’s not something happening in my abdomen. they hear abdomen vs legs swelling and think it’s GI because doctors never fucking listen and actively put their patients in danger but o h w e l l, I guess anyway as it’s been for 15 months, I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I go this way and experience agony, I go that way and experience agony I need extra hydration for weight loss, leukemia, being obese. I need less hydration because it worsens IIH to the point of 10/10 I want to die (which makes me heavily and actively suicidal. doctors see I take anti-depressants and assume idk I’m being dramatic but no, it’s really this fucking bad. I would rather die that moment than keep feeling what’s happening in my head) there’s like no middle ground and my body and these doctors are making it impossible to figure this shit out. my mom had to come over at 1:45 AM last night (hasn’t had to rush here since april 2020 cause that’s just how bad it is) because I lost my balance twice and was lucky I had something to catch onto or I would’ve been on the ground (neuro symptoms which could be IIH, could be chiari, could be stroke) and my speech got SUPER bad almost immediately. scared the hell out of me, I have never in my life lost balance that badly before things are going downhill and I would’ve thought losing weight they’d start improving but when has my body ever made this easy lol meeting a new neurologist on monday who works in the same building with my neurosurgeon. I’ve been avoiding them cause every single one of them told me I was just anxious despite specific physical movements causing an episode lmao but hopefully this guy is better and he has access to all of my neurosurgeon’s notes and stuff. I can’t keep dehydrating myself but at the same time I can’t let my head get so bad I make a farewell note for my mom, you know? it’s just been really bad and I don’t know how to get people to listen to me. I have a 99% diagnosis and they still don’t take me as seriously as they should. this has ruined my quality of life and they would have you believe that doctors take that seriously but they do not neurosurgeon wants me to see an ophthalmologist again cause of my vision issues and to check for specific things that relate to IIH. he wants another MRI done in early may cause it’s been a year since my last one by then (actually a month later, my last one was in april, but I’m curious if the neurologist will order one sooner) to check to see if anything has worsened so yeah living in absolute hell again and don’t know if I can just get a simple one week diuretic to get this fluid out of my body. what the FUCK else can it be when I’ve experienced this exact thing twice!! before. it happened to a much, much lesser degree the first time I got on the chemo pill. but the same shit :) hanging on by the thinnest thread guys and 15 months of feeling like I’m going to die almost every single day through that has destroyed my psyche. destroyed me as a person. I don’t know what to do anymore sorry this is all a lot of Bad™ but it’s been a lot of bad for 15 months. if I can keep going, I hope one day to be able to give an update of improvement love you all

#medical #medical trauma #tw suicidal thoughts #personal #long post

[rawrroarart]

Diakko!Odyssey AU

Most recent update: 8/28/2020 I added the comic of them meeting and also wrote a little snippet under the Diakko section

Welcome all. This post will officially be my master post of the Odyssey AU which will be updated as time moves forward so that I can link all of my related art to it. Yes I will not be posting multiple separate Updates in text posts how it’s traditionally done, but instead there will be information with each art and then a link back to this post. This is to avoid clutter since I hardly post on this blog anyway so it wouldn’t be fun having to scroll through all of my “OH ALSO THIS HAPPENS!” to get to art. Also I keep changing my mind on a lot of things in the AU so disregard information under the arts anyway as I will be posting here what is actually relevant.

Another key thing: I will be avoiding spoilers as much as possible until they are either shown in art or stated explicitly like I do in posts because I am the absolute worst at surprises. But anyway fear not for spoilers. Things said here are things that should be hinted at/known already. (and also I hardly know anything but maybe I will in due time)

Without further ado..

Introduction

What is the Odyssey AU?

The odyssey au is an alternative universe combining both Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey and Little Witch Academia into this (very random) adventuring story that takes place in ancient Greece. I guess I can’t say that it’s random since one of my favorite things about both ACO and LWA is the ties/references to mythology with the former obviously more rooted in the mythology and the latter just fun easter egg references. 

The general premise is that Diana is a misthios(mercenary) who travels with Akko, a shapeshifter, across Greece to find the answers pertaining to her origin.

The first art post: Diana and Akkoros

While living her life as a misthios, Diana searches for the answers pertaining to her origin and superhuman (described as “magical”) abilities along with Shapeshifter Atsuko, who commonly uses her powers for flight, but is not shy to switch to animals more suited for combat.

But I don’t know what Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey is?

That’s fair and understandable. Honestly my AU diverges a lot from the game so I don’t think knowledge of ACO is exactly necessary it’s just fun to understand the connections if you know them. Basically the key things you need to know from ACO as of now is: 

Kassandra (the protag) is known as the Eagle Bearer because she has an eagle that is known as the “eagle of Zeus” throughout the game. And they adventure together and Ikaros (the eagle) can hunt n kill things and See things and tbh he’s rly just a cool eagle but not a shapeshifter or anything lol

Kassandra is a Mercenary (misthios) which is basically a for Hire fighter/person who will p much do anything for money (if they want to do it) 

Kassandra is usually referred to a demi-god because of her powerful fighting abilities in which I mean yea she literally has powers and can blast people like a billion miles away (im jk but-)

Kassandra can tame animals (which ones depending on your skill level). You can tame uhh wolves, lynx, leopards, lions, bears. This is where my ‘shapeshifter’ idea began and it pretty much fit perfectly since Akko’s favorite spell is the shapeshifting one. 

Other than this, the most important things to know for this AU is just,, general mythology,, I guess? Or history? General history of mythology and how people worshipped/acted in accordance to the gods. And I’m not saying im going to be historically accurate obviously, nor even mythologically accurate (if that’s even a thing lol), I’m just here to have a good time and enjoy my gay mercenaries while talking about gods/goddesses as if I even know (thankfully I have my gf who is way more interested in mythology than me to help me)

I’ve only played like half of the Atlantis DLC after beating the game so whoopsie. I honestly really wanna replay everything now that I have this AU just so I can focus more on details and what I can yoink.

Characters

Diana

Art: 

Diana’s sketch-dump though she really needs a new one.

Diana in wheat field

Diana is the main protagonist of the story, but they pretty much both share the spotlight anyway. Her goal is to find out why she has certain powers (which I have officially decided, finally...) that aren’t exactly human. Since being a misthios was an easy way for her to travel and make drachmae, she chooses to do it while on their journey. Dammit I came up with her lore but as per the rules of this masterpost I can’t write about it until it’s out smh.. Ah I forgot that I already spilled that she is a goddess/demi-goddess (haven’t decided which yet) so yea that’s the Tea.

Described as very beautiful, there are rumors of her that state she is a pathway to Elysium (despite many people not deserving to go to Elysium). She is also known for her stoic face and a red bird that follows her around.

Diana is only found smiling with Akko and keeps buying Akko clothes despite her outer grievances each time Akko destroys something.

Diana was there with her mother at Chariot’s speech/performance.

Diana is skilled with any weapon.

Akko

Art:

Akko sketch-dump

Akko is a shapeshifter who travels with Diana across Greece in search for her idolized Chariot. Trusting both Diana’s skills and powers, Akko decides that Diana is the best choice to help achieve her goal as they adventure together.

Orphaned at a young age, Akko is, at first, very unfamiliar with how exactly to use her powers because there was no one around to teach her. She uses a bird most often because it is her first and most skilled transformation, but eventually learns to use stronger animals over time. Also eagle-vision is much more useful to Diana when they’re scoping the grounds anyway.

Like all shapeshifters, Akko has a symbol on her neck that signifies what she is. Due to the high prejudice against shapeshifters, Akko stays an animal to avoid being known, and also does not transform in front of others unless to kill them. If she has to be a human, Akko commonly wears a hood to hide her neck. 

Akko is one of the last shapeshifters to exist, and, despite Chariot being rumored to have finally been murdered, she still believes Chariot is alive. 

Akko was with her parents when they all attended Chariot’s final speech/show and here began her dream.

Akko can use a dagger if she needs to.

Side-characters

Akko’s Parents: Shapeshifters who were murdered when Akko was a young age.

Chariot: A shapeshifter who somehow had a voice and power that even normal people listened to. Akko idolizes Chariot because, despite the hate against shapeshifters, Chariot was well known and was an activist for shapeshifters despite the danger upon her head. Chariot mysteriously disappears one day for reasons unknown, and everyone but Akko assumes she was finally murdered.

Shapeshifters

Shapeshifters are defined as humans who possess the ability to transform to any animal at will. Unfortunately, because animals were seen as less than human, shapeshifters were defined as “punished by the gods” and so many decided shapeshifters needed to be removed from the world for sin. This causes a massacre of shapeshifters to the point that they are instead a rarity.

Shapeshifters do not transform with their clothes, and so either destroy them or lose them depending on their transformation.

All shapeshifters have a symbol on their neck which is what is used to find them. They can also be found by their human personalities/characteristics when they are an animal. 

If weakened, shapeshifters return to their human form and cannot transform until they are stronger.

Diakko

Art:

Meeting (Comes with a 500 word story!)

Misthios!Diana and Shapeshifter!Akko Sketch-dump

Diana and Bear!Akko

Fancy Diakko (the first continuity error lol)

Diana and Akko adventure together and do all of their quests together as a rag-tag chaotic duo. God I’m so excited for this section I wish I could make art FASTER but anyway:

They meet at about 17 years old but the main story takes place when they are 18+

The two get off to a wrong start when Diana saves Akko’s life. Because Akko is a shapeshifter, she’s high in value to kill probably by some cult idk but there is always a bounty on her head. When Diana saves her, Akko assumes Diana only did so to steal the drachmae from the original perpetrators, but Diana really just leaves her alone afterwards. Confused, Akko legit just starts tagging along LMAO she finds Diana interesting and so follows her and Diana’s just like what the fuck but eventually she gets over it. They become powerful assets to each other as Diana can now scope the skies with Akko and Akko is pretty much protected under Diana. Then when Akko gets much stronger Diana gets extra manpower and protection too. 

Akko enjoys staying in her human form to spend time with Diana.

Diana keeps buying Akko clothes just because it makes Akko happy (and also, despite Akko uncaring because her transformations are so frequent anyway, Diana doesn’t want her to be naked??)

Diana is easily persuaded by Akko and puts Akko’s interests first (feeds her first, considers what Akko would want, etc.)

#lwa #lwa au #odyssey au #odyssey masterpost #my writing #odyssey!diakko

[yaz-the-spaz]

What are your theories about this pr*gnan*y? You think they will fake a miscarriage, that G*gi's a surrogate or she will fake having a baby bump and then we will never have news about this b**y?

Anon #2: do you think quarantine made it easier for them to do babygate, which is why they’re pushing it now, or do you think it was already planned for this month / date? what do you think?

putting my answer under the cut for reasons*

i’ve said it before in tags but yeah, as absolutely shitty and diabolical as it sounds, a miscarriage is basically the only realistic way i see this playing out for her cause it just does not make any level of sense for her to blow up her entire modeling career right at its height and saddle herself with a whole child i.e. a whole 18-year commitment THIS young and with a man she can barely even maintain a stable relationship with no less (and had also only just gotten back together with - for the 678th time lol - around the supposed conception date), while also risking her own health and her baby’s health (given her supposed hashimoto's disease which would make this both a miracle pregnancy and a high-risk pregnancy, ripe with the threat of a multitude of dangerous complications) all for A LITTLE extra attention.

and while i think there’s a possibility it may have already been planned for sometime around this period, i absolutely think quarantine made it easier for them to do this right now b/c they’re able take huge advantage of the fact that this is a time where no one can really confirm anything outside of family for a good long while, so there’s less opportunity to invite questions and speculation since there’s no one else really seeing her that would be able to go and say well she definitely didn’t look pregnant when i saw her, or to let something slip about how she was doing stuff that a 5-month pregnant woman - esp a high risk pregnant woman - should not be doing (nvm that she slipped up all on her own by posting shit of herself riding horses, and drinking wine and coffee and her stomach looking flat af in the weeks prior to this announcement lmao) but the fact remains they can very easily keep everything locked up tight within the family, where the story and any others details or pics and vids that are released can be very much controlled

also news is fairly slow rn and everyone is literally just sitting at home with not much else to do THAN watch the news (for updates of this virus situation mostly ofc, but it also kind of forces a wider audience that maybe wouldn’t normally see it/pay attention to it to now be inundated with announcements of it whenever they go to check into the news) so in terms of making a huge splash this is probably literally the BEST time in actual modern history that they could have conceivably done this because it is one of the only big things/news items going on for ppl to talk about rn outside of the pandemic

tl;dr - b/c as usual this got way long but anyway all that said, the short of it is that the only way i can really realistically see this playing out in a way that makes sense for her, as shitty as it may sound, is that they're trying to make a huge splash/huge deal out of the fake pregnancy news, which they’re gonna milk for as long they can while playing around with camera angles and clothes, and take advantage of this quarantine where no one can really confirm outside of family for a good long while and where the story and surrounding “evidence” can be easily controlled, and then claim she had a miscarriage or something (or maybe just complications that resulted in the loss of the baby) due to her hashimoto’s disease to make an even BIGGER splash from the ensuing sob story

again, its SUPER fucked up but it's the only thing that makes sense cause i really cannot see her destroying her career and foreseeable future over all this just to get a little more attention. alternatively there’s the possibility that she is pregnant (but just not by zayn obviously lol) and has just been extremely reckless and unsafe during this pregnancy in her hobbies and eating/drinking habits, and therefore this baby is severely underweight and that’s why she’s barely showing at 5 months and doing things that she should really not be doing, esp this far along into what should be a high-risk pregnancy if she does in fact have hashimoto’s and that was not just a giant lie too to cover up her alleged drug use and fluctuating weight...but again, given that she was just at the height of her modeling career and presumably still has a fair bit of opportunities that she would lose out on by getting pregnant and taking on the responsibility of raising a child right now, i would think she would do everything in her power to avoid getting pregnant (or going through with the pregnancy once she found out she was) and bury the story. not shout it from the rooftops as loud as she can and create a whole narrative around starting a family with a man that just last year she made out to be “too unstable” to even maintain a two-person relationship but is suddenly stable enough to raise a whole child???

a man who btw has literally not said A WORD about any of this, and whose family i’m pretty certain have also not said A WORD about it publicly. a man who has has not been "present" for his gf’s or any of the hadid family members "announcements" about it either and like...in what world is that normal lol? like first off in what world is someone who's being painted as such a happy/proud boyfriend and father-to-be NOT there with his gf and/or her family for the announcements being made about his own soon to be family lol? and second of all, and biggest of all, IN WHAT WORLD WOULD THE BABY-LOVING CLOSE-KNIT AF MALIK FAMILY NOT BE LOSING THEIR MINDS WITH OVER THE TOP JOY AND PRAISE AND EXCITEMENT OVER A NEW ADDITION TO THE FAMILY (if it was real lol) FROM THEIR BIGGEST PRIDE AND JOY ZAYN??????

and moreover, i’ve said this before also and i will say it again as many time as i need to, but why is no one seeing how weird it is that so many members of a boyband have babies by women they're not married to?? when THE FUCK has it been normal for so many members of a boyband to have kids before the age of 30 and NONE OF THEM BE MARRIED TO THE ACTUAL MOTHER OF THEIR CHILD???? like i know the people behind the scenes are trying their absolute hardest to make that seem normal and like it's just the millennial way or whatever but THAT IS NOT FUCKING NORMAL

#asks #anons #tagging this as #ziam #because honestly these are some of the biggest red flags for me as to why ziam remains real if there ever was any lol #you shouldn’t have to put this much work in to make a pregnancy make sense #and the only reason i can think of for why someone would feel the need to jump through this many hoops #is because there really IS something there to cover up #and ppl aren’t buying your bullshit #so you’re trying your damndest to distract from the giant gay elephant(s) in the room #while taking the added bonus opportunity to milk the ensuing attention for all its worth #anyway #z*gi #babygate 3.0 #my thoughts #(*reasons primarily being that just in case antis are still monitoring my blog #they will literally have to do extra work just see this #and can't claim they just 'happened' upon it lol)

[hyotenhyakkaso]

LETS TALK ABOUT VERSES

Verses: (Alphabetical order)

A Place In This World Verse: Jou’s babu years to just before he joined a gang

Number One Verse: Bleach verse lmao 

Did It To Myself Verse: UNKNOWN FASJLDFKADS J

Everybody’s Lonely Verse: Jou’s alone in the world and questioning himself and every relationship he’s had. He figures he’s better off alone and everyone’s fine without him so after a vacation he decides to disappear for good. Leaving no trace or evidence that he’d been there at all, like he’s been erased from existence altogether.

Every Heart Verse: InuYasha Au

 Fly away Verse: Breath of the wild Au 

Hiding In Your Hands Verse: (Main Verse): Jounouchi Katsuya is a part snow leopard due to unfortunate circumstances in his childhood. The rest is history however. ..... Yet, while the Duel monsters world is safe, the real world is not. Jou takes it upon himself to make sure that gang activity doesn’t skyrocket and take down those he sees as a threat to the population. He also adopts four children, Pit, Dark Pit, Jaden and Nimue. Finds a brother in Sora and a sister in Elsa and Anna. His life is weird but its his.

Icarus Verse: Jou works for Kaibacorp for shits and giggles and messes with Seto. He thinks they’re friends while Seto is trying to get used to this. (Exclusive Kaibacorpbros verse)

Killing Time Verse: Literally just crossover verses lmao

Leave Out All The Rest Verse: Oops, Jou fell too deep into his gang life again, he becomes a gang leader and eventually dies from it. He’s shown that he does have loved ones that love him back. The spirit that helps him lets him turn back the clock and fix whatever mistake he made. Endless loop until he figures out what he did wrong and how to fix it. 

Loser Baby Verse: Everything from  the original deleted blog falls into this verse unless stated otherwise.

Mr Sandman Man Me A Sand Verse: Absolute crack/chaos

Never Get Used To People Verse: Insane Jou au????? Maybe??????

Ready Steady Go! Verse: Fullmetal Alchemist Au (Will eventually be fleshed out when I figure out wtf is going on)

See Me Through Verse: Kingdom Hearts Au taking place in canon. Between the regular villain of the month episodes, Jou’s fighting his own monsters. Literally! Set with his keyblade Starset, he tries 

Thank You, Next Verse: He fully comes into himself in this au and quits the gang life for good. He goes to college and goes into car manufacturing business. 

Who is In Control? Verse: Jou never leaves his gang leader position, never makes friends with Yugi or Tristan and eventually becomes a bigger problem than Hirotani. No one’s sure who is worse, their previous leader or their current one. The blonds tendency to get himself into danger more often than not nearly get him killed on a regular basis. And he’s starting to realize he doesn’t care if he does.

Verses I’m not sure fall into the above categories or into their own categories: (To be discussed with muns)

Right Here Verse: Exclusive verse with Mutogamingco

Be Somebody Verse: Exclusive Verse with Game-weaver

I’d Lie Verse: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I dunno yet but its like- Exclusive verse with Dungeondicediva

Lullaby for a stormy night Verse: He pretty much unofficially adopts Pit and Dark Pit as his sons and raises them alongside a goddess- (Yeah he’s questioning himself too but he wouldn’t change it)

  Shipping Verses: 

Monster Verse: Exclusive shipping verse for atlantis-prince. However this also contains Atem’s, Mai’s, Joey’s and other’s fights with Jou about getting together with the evil boi. I need to start containing this to this verse, its starting to bleed into other verses- Namely Hiding In Your Hands. 

Must Have Been The Wind Verse: Exclusive shipping verse with Darkheartedprince (?)

Once In A Dream Verse: Exclusive shipping verse with Soraofdestinyislands

The Drug In Me Is You Verse: Exclusive shipping verse with Thiefakefia

Watermelon Sugar Verse: Exclusive shipping verse with Lightheartedwarrior

You Can’t Fight the Moonlight Verse: Exclusive shipping verse with World-duelists: ~I’m in love with the goddess who lives down the street the girl may work at wafflehouse but she dunnt miss a beat (Jaden)~  ~ I want you to remember this when you put yourself down I cannot fear my future now that I have you around (Joey)~

 Character Tags:

Atem (millennium-puzzle-spirit):  ~I’ll carry you home no you’re not alone keep marching on this is worth fighting for you know we all have battle scars (Atem)~

Atem (Sennenpharaoh): ~See that line well I never should have crossed it stop right there that’s the very moment that I wish that I could take back (Atem)~

Akefia (theifakefia):  ~Your secrets keep you sick your lies keep you alive Snake eyes every single time you roll with crooked dice (Akefia)~

Aizen (Bleachintothemultiverse):  ~The world you once created inside your dreams is brought to life as it now leads you and I across the distant sky! (Aizen)~

Bakura (tenacioustheif): ~We could set the world alight there is so much you could be if only you'd join me we’d make one hell of a team (Bakura)~

Byakuya (Bleachintothemultiverse): ~Thousands of cherry blossoms dwindling in the light though I can’t hear your voice keep what I say in mind (Byakuya)~

Dark Pit (WinglessArcher): ~You’ll be in my heart no matter what they say you’ll be here in my heart always (Dark Pit)~

Dartz (Atlantis-prince): ~So I will talk to you the only way I know how to I’ve said my speech through sharpened teeth (Dartz)~

Elsa (Iskrone): ~You can lift your head up to the sky Take a deeper breath and give it time You can walk the path among the lines (Elsa)~

Hanataro (Bleachintothemultiverse): ~Though a thousand words have never been spoken they’ll fly to you crossing over the time and distance (Hanataro)~

Jaden (World-Duelists): ~Live in the now and break your confines take ahold of this precious time glory days cause your life is not to trade (Jaden)~

Jaden (Tenebrosity-bulwark): ~Cause now again I found myself so far down away from the sun that shines into the darkest place Im so far down away from the sun (Jaden)~

Joey (Luckyredeyes): ~I’m alive oh yeah between the good and bad’s where you’ll find me reaching for heaven I will fight and I’ll sleep when I die (Joey)~

Joey (World-Duelists): ~When darkness turns to daybreak go out and see for your sake the people of this world may share your pain (Joey)~

Joey (brooklynxsweetheart): ~ I see your monsters I see your pain tell me your problems I'll chase them away I'll be your lighthouse (Joey)~

Mai (ohmaiwhathavewedone): ~Hey sister do you still believe in love I wonder? Oh if the sky comes falling down for you theres nothing in this world I wouldnt do (Mai)~

Mana (mahoushoumonster): ~Cause you cant jump the track we’re like cars on a cable and lifes like an hourglass glued to the table (Mana)~

Mokuba (Kaibacorpbros) ~Daydreamer kidnap me take me back all the way back to them days runnin around in a gown and a crown barefoot (Mokuba)~

Nimue (Tenebrosity-bulwark): ~The most powerful thing you own is your voice scream above the noise that you’re perfect as you are even when times are hard (Nimue)~

Otogi (Dungeondicediva): ~Here’s to us here’s to love all the times that we fucked up here’s to you fill the glass (Otogi)~

Pit (WinglessArcher): ~Come my child stay with me I’ll protect you and your dreams. Rest my child ‘neath the tree like it’s branches reach for me (Pit)~

Seto (Kaibacorpbros):  ~Icarus Icarus why you so serious serious? You know you gotta let it go cause you're flying too close (Seto)~

Sora (Asorableisms):  ~Though we don't share the same blood. You're my brother and I love you thats the truth. (Sora)~

Sora (Soraofdestinyislands): ~When I’m awake I hide all the chains so you aren’t afraid I can’t stop I cant break I carry the weight for you (Sora)~

Yugi (Game-weaver):  ~I'm just the boy inside the man not exactly who you think I am trying to trace my steps back here again so many times (Yugi)~

Yugi (Mutogamingco): ~I wanted to be like you I wanted everything So I tried to be like you and i got swept away I didnt know that it was so cold (Yugi)~

Updated when new verses form!

#Verses #~THIS IS WHAT YOU ASKED FOR~ #~IVE DONE IT.~ #~AT LEAst the ones I remember~ #~Should probably have a parallel Jou verse but my mind is blanking out on songs. I'm gonna count this as done~

[izzy-b-hands]

14, 19, 23 for the writer asks!

Thank you!!

14. At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

fadsklfj I should do that first, but usually? At the end of a piece. Right as I’m basking in the ‘ooh yay this is done and I can post it’ glory, I immediately look up, see my blank title space, and go ‘...well fuck.’ The few times I’ve had a title come with the story idea that I could put down right away have been an absolute delight!

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

Commas, the word ‘just’, ‘scoffed’, ‘tutted’, ‘sighed’ (though I am trying to work on the word repetition issue now that I’ve noticed more, and try to seek out alternates whenever I can so long as they don’t alter the mood and general meaning of the sentence too much). I also think I need to give a break to poor Brian, for tending to be the ‘rational’ one in a lot of what I write. Not that being that is a bad thing at all, but I feel like I don’t let him be silly enough when I write him. He’s overdue for a fic where I write him as letting loose, I think!

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

Oh god...So Many...

But one of the strongest ones that I keep reconfiguring is the one I’ve talked about before, with Queen as part of The Endless from The Sandman series. I’m working towards making that one a reality, but it’s going to be a huge undertaking (especially as I’ve realized I can’t use the canon story lines really. Bits and pieces of them, sure, but really I need to write a whole new story line in order to give the idea its due.) 

I simply cannot get the idea of Freddie as Dream out of my head though. I think folks would default to putting Brian there because Dream is melancholy, and so is Brian at times, but truly? A bigger facet of Dream’s arc to me is how he has to learn to let people/beings back into his life once he’s back in his realm, and I have literally multiple essays I could write re: Freddie and loneliness, Freddie and finding platonic love w/friends as a gay man vs. finding romantic love as a gay man (I also have an essay where I just call out myself on that topic, actually lmao), Freddie and how he interacts within various social circles in his life, etc. I feel like all of that makes him a perfect fit for Dream. 

Also, the times where Dream has to be stern and serious, like during the meeting of Collectors (god spoilers to anyone who hasn’t read them yet but also my apologies as you are likely going ‘hey Lee what in the ENTIRE FUCK are you talking abt’)? All I can see is Freddie there, cool as can be, but utterly terrifying because he isn’t loudly angry. He doesn’t have to be. He isn’t normally angry at all, so seeing him literally coolly seething with rage at these nasty fuckers, making sure they literally have no peace in their lives after the horrible things they’ve done? 

Yeah. If I could send Freddie a script right now via the cosmos and have him read for that scene, I would, because I’m confident he would kill it. 

Since I’ve already talked about the Endless AU once before, I’ll end this with a lighter, other idea I’ve had floating around for a bit: 

Queen and being broken down mid-tour in the middle of American Midwest (is this just an excuse to write them coming to ND....look-) 

When I eventually get to it, I want to give it a slight old-school eighties horror edge (without the shitty homophobic, racist, and sexist tropes that can often be found in older horror.) John dealing with being alone working on the van after Roger “disappears” (stalks off into a field, possibly sunflower or corn for the height,  for a piss, but doesn’t tell John because of course he doesn’t, but realizes that he keeps hearing things in the field, and gosh where did he even enter the field, and how does he get back out?), Freddie and Brian getting bored and deciding to wander and make out and try and find a way to enjoy the situation only to realize they’re being followed, the road crew offering to go in a group (for safety) and walk along the roadway to try and find a service station and/or some other help but then they don’t return (they would be fine, I won’t actually kill anyone off lol...but some folks might end up maimed. It is still horror, after all.) 

I’ve told myself I have to hold off with both of these ideas until I get all my current multi-chapter fics (my Queen ones and the one I have left to finish for Kingsman, though there are a few other Kingsman multi-chapters I need to get back to at some point as well) finished up, or at least updated with another chapter! 

But after that? I wanna put these two ideas in as a rush job on myself because I’m so excited to write them both!

#text post #ask box things #willowenigma

[malafight]

Long-Ass Life Update (I’m not dead!)

Finally a life update now that I’m back home. It’s been a painful and tiring couple of weeks :’) And actually some of the days/times might be off because I was like super fucking out of it for most of that time period.

Anyhow, I went to the ER on Friday the 1st after 3 days of severe stomach pain, and the local hospital is like notoriously shitty but I was in horrible pain ok

They actually took me seriously for once, took me back immediately, ekg, ultrasound, blood and piss tests, and told me from the start not to eat or drink anything.

They told me they found gallstones and one or more might be stuck in the bile duct, but they made it sound like it wasnt inflamed and there werent many, so I wasnt super worried? They sent me for an MRI and then told me that they didnt have the capability to get out any stones, so they sent my ass an hour away via ambulance to a much better hospital so they could do the probe thing they needed to. It took until Saturday night to get a room there, though, and they didnt know when I’d get there and since they figured theyd want to do the probe ASAP, I was kept completely without eating or drinking for all of Friday night and Saturday, after not eating more than a few bites of muffin on Friday and next to nothing Thursday either because Everything Hurt.

Also, Fentanyl is fucking magic. Thats the only thing that even vaguely touched the pain.

So anyhow, I get to the other hospital at fuck o’clock at night and God Damn Staved because, like I said, bitches gave me No Fucking Food for an entire day (I’m not kidding that hospital is horrible and has a horrible reputation for ending up with killing people or making situations worse but the next nearest hospitals are an hour away in different directions and I don’t often have anyone willing to drive me that far and I often don’t feel up to driving myself that far if I’m already at “need to go to the ER, fuck the money I don’t have” point, and Saer has only just gotten into the USA and the last time they came with me to the ER they ended up with a virus for like three weeks and I wasn’t gonna do that to them again!!) and finally when I got to that hospital they were like “yeah we won’t be able to do the probe until Monday so eat something and then tomorrow you’re on a liquid diet and then nothing by mouth after midnight” so they scrounged me up some chicken broth and orange juice at like ten o’clock at night and gave me Those Good Good Meds and I slept in a decent hospital bed instead of on a fucking ER bed like Friday night (since they were transferring me at the local hospital they didn’t admit me and I slept in the ER. yeah. i hurt too badly to sleep on my side even with pain meds, and I slept on an ER bed. I had to sleep all day Saturday on and off just to get vaguely rested, but honestly? this whole ordeal has been an adventure in sleep deprivation despite heavy sedatives)

Monday rolls around and they take me for the ERCP (iirc thats what it was) where they put a thing down my throat and cut the bile duct wider so the stone could pass, get that bitch cleared up, all is well. I was heavily sedated and remember none of it, just waking up with different pain in my stomach and the world’s worst sore throat.

I was on a liquid diet from that and until the extraction on Wednesday. I have drank my weight in broth and orange juice.

Wednesday they take me in to remove my gallbladder. It was supposed to be a simple laparoscopic procedure, nip it out, pull it, I go home in a couple days with a couple small cuts on my belly. My dad (and several other people) reassured me that it was routine and quick, and is an easy procedure that should take 2 hours at most. I told him, “Listen, with me, literally nothing is ever easy and you know that”

Fast forward to me waking up and my first thought is “is that a catheter? guess it didnt go so easy after all.” I’m pretty sure the first words I said as I woke up were “told you it wouldnt be easy” lmao

Remember how hospital #1 told me that my gallbladder wasn’t inflamed and there were only a couple gallstones?

It was chock goddamn full of gallstones and so inflamed that when they tried to get it out laparoscopically, it tore. He spent an hour trying to get it out that way safely before realizing that his only recourse is to cut me open and get it out that way. The procedure took closer to 5 hours.

I have at least 20 staples in my belly now and I hope I get a cool fuckin scar but shit hurts still. I was in the hospital slowly ramping up to eating solid food again until Friday when I was allowed to go home to Saer. I can’t lift anything more than 20 pounds for another like month, and my range of motion is a fraction of what it was before. I’m so easily exhausted now and i can barely do anything and it’s really fucking pathetic??? and every time I bring that up Saer is like “they TOOK your ORGAN” so

(its really sad that i’m so conditioned that If I’m Not Doing Everything I Can All The Time Then I’m Not Trying Hard Enough that even after having full surgery to remove an organ I’m like NO I CAN DO THE THING and then end up hurting myself s-sobs)

(we watched the episode of b99 today where gina comes back after getting hit by a bus and when she tried to dance while still in the halo saer pointed at her and was like “it u” and i was like “exCUSE” but like, tru)

anyhow, im home, and i have my wife with me, and saer is such a blessing right now because i cannot do SHIT and they need to help me off the couch sometimes if my dumb ass gets in a position with no leverage, and also ive already fallen off the couch like twice because i was like NO I GOT IT and saer was across the room like BEB NO U DONT and yeah im stubborn and stupid ok saer is saving me from myself for the most part

also also the app i drive for is shutting down in my city at the start of december hhhhh so now i also have to fuckin... find a job like this and uGH do not WANT ffff

but yeah thats something even my parents have okayed me holding off on until I’m better so if even my fuckin parents are like “pls chill???” yall know im fucked up

however i’m mostly weaned off opiod pain meds now and am only using them at night when it’s worse and hard to sleep, tylenol tends to take care of it well enough now. my range of motion is improving, too, but i am just still so easily tired that its frustrating. we went grocery shopping yesterday and even in the little motor scooter i was completely worn out by the end of it.

but im alive! all is well! i will continue improving! sorry for being so quiet during this but like I said, i’ve been some level of sedated for most of this event. not fully sedated except for the two procedures, but fentanyl and dilautin (ok i have no idea what it actually is and google isnt helping but i had a button for it) and then morphine and hydrocodone on top of not getting restful sleep At All due to pain, discomfort, and people coming in every hour for vitals checks... I was fuckin Gone i got fuckall done rip

however once my pain-induced blood pressure spike was lowered (i saw them take it at the ER and it was fuckin RED) everyone was like “...you have really good blood pressure??” like i’m pretty sure i have low blood pressure naturally and my size/genetics gives me high blood pressure and they kinda cancel each other out, but yeah. pretty cool.

my family kept swinging between “IF YOURE IN THAT MUCH PAIN FOR 24 HOURS YOU GO TO THE ER. YOU DO NOT WAIT THREE DAYS.” and “...jesus christ you have a high pain tolerance”

//throws the horns thats what chronic pain does to ya baybee

my mom especially was impressed because she was just like “you’re so calm talking to them about how much it hurts how are you doing that” and im just like “its literally wasted energy to freak out and i hurt too badly to move so im just gonna sit here and tell them im a ten and hope they take pity on me because i have no other options”

anyhow fun new experience and im pretty sure ive broken my brother’s hospitalization record and also pretty sure i’ve got enough medical debt on me now that i can literally file for bankruptcy so

also i can feel a void near my ribs and it is so bizarre yall fuckin organs need to close the gap asap bc this shit weird as hell

#life update #drugs tw #body horror tw #surgery

[blackvail22]

16 may 2021

tw // suicide

side note- im embarrassed to share this experience with you, but i’m doing it anyways.

2:56pm - my friend has been threatening thay he’s going to kill himself rn and im trying to hard fo help him ans make sure he’s okay but i dont know what to do. i was on a call with him, and he sais he had to go and he hung up and now he’s not answering me and im so scared abdullah im so scared i havent cried this much or been so scared for years i dont want him to die

update: i believe he’s okay now. god, that was terrifying. i cant imagine what i would do if he actually did it. i still feel in shock but im crying as well. im gonna watch one of my favorite animes and hopefully i feel better afterwards.

6:57pm - okay. i need to vent about the whole situation that happened earlier because i just... i just have to.

so, one of my friends liked me. let’s call him k. k told me he wanted to be more than friends with me. i said “okay” and we tried it out. i realized that i couldn’t be more than friends with him because i was still getting ov3er my last relationship, so i told him that i wasnt ready to be in a relationship with him. he was okay at first... and then he just.. wasn’t.

he said, “y’know what? i’m gonna do what i should’ve done last month” even though i knew where it was gonna go, i asked what he meant. he said “die, Die, DIE”, meaning that he was going to kill himself. i was already panicking at this point, and i just kept panicking and panicking. i kept telling him “no, don’t do it, k. there are so many people that care for you. you are loved, k. don’t do it” i was in a call with one of his friends and his cousin, so i asked them to message him because i was worried about him. i was starting to cry now, and they were like “look... i’m sure he’s fine.” i told them what was happening, and they said that he’s going to be fine. i didn’t believe them. k kept telling me to leave him alone, but i didn’t in fear that he would do it while being left alone. i told him i would leave him alone if he would stay on a call with someone. he said “fine. you going to leave me alone now?” i asked him to send proof that he was on the phone with someone, and then he called me.

he didn’t sound like himself. at all.

he kept asking me, “you think i’m crazy, don’t you?” his tone of voice sounded...out of himself? like, he was having a mental breakdown, and you could genuinely tell. he kept laughing, but his laugh... it wasn’t his. it sounded... it sounded like he was going insane inside of his brain. i kept asking what he was doing, and he told me the same thing each time. there were times where it just sounded like he was choking, and i kept saying his name until he would answer me. he told me “it’s time for me to sleep forever *laughs*” after a little bit of me begging him not to, he lied and said, “i have to go. my mom’s home. bye jordyn” and... no, the way he said bye to me... i can’t. it was so scary. i just thought of it and im crying because of it. it sounded like he was actually going to do it.

i messaged his cousin to make sure k was okay because he stopped responding to me. k was okay when his cousin called him, and his cousin told me that he just needed to be left alone by me. i understand it.

about two hours ago, k called a groupchat with me and our friends in it and asked if we wanted to play a game together. while we played, he kept doing the same laugh from the other call.

sometimes when i think about that laugh or the way he said “bye jordyn” i start to choke. i literally lose all air and start choking for a few seconds. i also have this constant pain of anxiety in my chest as well as my entire body feels numb. it’s terrifying. this was so traumatic for me.

i almost led someone to end their life on accident? who knew love was so fucking deadly.

*i know that sometimes when someone says theyre going to off themselves during a rejection or breakup, it’s a form of manipulation, but i literally cannot help but try to stop them. the amount of friends and family that have attempted and i was helpless... i couldn’t stand not trying to help. i was still helpless in this situation though. i never stopped him. i just kept making it worse. god, abdullah... i’m so helpless? this... GOD im useless

10:45pm - i have homework due in the morning but i’m so drained. everything lately, especially today, has been too much, and i just… i cannot do it.

12:11am (2020-05-17) - my eyes still burn from how much ive cried today lmao im just gonna go to bed i hope i dont have nightmares about it

oh- something i just thought of. idk why but what happened today affected me more than when i saw my dad almost kill himself & my mom while drunk, and then watch him get drove off in a cop car lmao

[vcnder-blog]

wow...it’s really me...agAIN and i have literally nothing together yet, but i’m hyped so hello! i’m sam, 20, she/her, est timezone and i also play ben the sourwolf and the cutie quill wallace so you can message me wherever for plots! anyway, let’s get into it! details about this one who has never done anything wrong ever in his life will be under the cut and you know the deal! i want all the plots!

➰ ( AVAN JOGIA, CISMALE, HE/HIM ) *✧.:°░｡ —- is that VANDER SANGHAVI ?! you know them, right? they are the 25 year old SHADOWHUNTER !! they’re known for being BENEVOLENT & INDIVIDUALISTIC - but i’d be careful if i were you because they’re also QUIXOTIC & RESTIVE. i heard they volunteered to be paired with SOPHIE TURNER.

so first thing’s first: his full first name is actually devander if i remember what i picked correctly lmao but he doesn’t like to be called that and literally no one ever does call him that except for his parents

wHO ARE THE WORST BTW. like, okay, remember in the show when alec and izzy’s parents first showed up and their mom was like that and you were like um, yIKES???? yeah, vander’s mom is like that except 100000000000000000000% worse. his dad is very strict and cold and far from vander’s favorite person buT HIS MOM IS ONE FUCKING PIECE OF WORK OK

which we’ll get into momentarily!

so, vander’s story is that he’s an only child, born in idris to the extremely wealthy, extremely respected and extremely well - known sanghavi family. both of his parents are super high - ranking council members and basically when i think of what they do i think of this scene from sherlock i’m a nerd okAY DRAG ME where mycroft is like “i occupy a small position within the british government” and sherlock scoffs and says “plEASE HE IS THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT” which is basically what i imagine his parents are like with their jobs in the clave aka they pretty much are the clave which i imagine is pretty common knowledge among shadowhunters and probably earns the family name a lot of respect but also hatred because all of their power and influence that goes wrong within the clave and all of their bias and shady business is, for the most part, completely their fault.

anyway, when vander was born his parents were a little older than the typical age at which shadowhunters tend to begin having kids and that’s because they’d been trying for a while before vander finally came along and he was basically their miracle child :')

lived in idris and spent the majority of his life there, specifically on the family estate property. even for a shadowhunter he had an extremely sheltered upbringing ok like because of his parents and their job and their obsession with molding vander into the perfect child and perfect successor for their position on the council which is what they always saw him as first and foremost rather than y’know THEIR SON, he was pretty much never allowed to leave the family property except for major social events. literally he wasn’t allowed to leave, spent all day every day studying and training and his parents kept him so isolated from other children friendships and love is weakness yeah yeah whatever that his only friends growing up were his trainers and tutors and the housekeeping staff

basically if it wasn’t guaranteed to make him a better shadowhunter and train him properly to take over their position within the clave then vander’s parents absolutely forbid it.

he couldn’t even really sneak away bc wtf is there to do in idris???? and anyway, the family estate was monitored by guards at every angle 24/7 because the idea that someone would try to assassinate the whole family was always entirely too plausible

i pretty much think of vander of being raised like a royal child if ygm? like, everyone knows who he is but no one really knows him and he never really got to have friends or anything normal like that and his upbringing in general was extremely strict and isolated and sheltered and privileged.

the first time vander ever left idris was the age of seventeen when he fought tooth and nail to accompany his father on clave business. specifically, his father would be taking temporary control of the institute in india for a months ( which he was chosen for because it was one of many jobs he’d been good at whilst climbing the ranks back in the day ). vander begged and pled and begged to be taken along and while his mother in particular was not happy about it, his father finally agreed!

vander loved that trip so much that he whoops sorta sneaked out of the institute on the night before he and his father were supposed to go home, ran away and hasn’t looked back since

he’s spoken with his parents plenty of times since then though. they’re still furious with him for running away and they take every chance they’re given to remind him of that and ask him to come home and finish his studies buT vander absolutely refuses and is pretty sure that if he ever sees idris or that dumb enormous house ever again it’ll be way too fucking soon

anyway, he’s gotten lots of practical training in his travels. despite his family name and the way people often treat him because of it, vander seriously just works as a typical shadowhunter doing normal old demon killing assignments and stuff.

he’s an expert with twin seraph blades though and there’s a 1000000% chance he could wipe the floor with anyone when it comes to using those things

it was at the dublin institute that things actually got interesting though lmao. there, he met helena havenborn and holy shit he fell in love with her so hard and fast and to this day he absolutely loves her to pieces jsyk

they got together, got engaged and were the most obnoxiously in love pair you could ever possibly come across until that mission gone wrong wherein helena’s parabatai was killed and she got turned into a werecat

vander hasn’t seen her since before she left for that mission

she thinks that he listened to his family and dumped her because she was now a downworlder, he thinks she left him and literally neither of those things are true they are 100000% lies made up by vander’s parents and lbr probably also helena’s mom to keep them apart and to try and get vander to finally come home

spoiler alert: it didn’t work

vander is just so heartbroken and he has been ever since. due to his extremely isolated upbringing, he was never very close with anyone not even his parents and then helena came along and they were everything to each other she was everything to him and then she just left him and vander tries really hard to be understanding like he knows the situation was devastating all around but he can’t help these feelings of bitterness he now has for helena as he sorta feels abandoned by her 

EXCEPT SHE DIDN’T ABANDON HIM AND HE DIDN’T ABANDON HER HIS MOM IS JUST A MEDDLING TRIFLER SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THEM PLEASE

still loves her so so so so much regardless of what he thinks happened

left the dublin institute not long after that and went somewhere else and now he’s just coming to cali probably on assignment due to the theft. he’s here to lend an extra hand and has no idea that helena is here so :) :) :) :)

that...was so long i apologize but if you’ve gotten this far and wanna keep reading then we’re about to get into personality and stuff!

vander is basically a good beautiful angel who has never done a single thing wrong ever in his whole life

no ok i’m moSTLY KIDDING but vander is genuinely a good person. having essentially been forced to spend his entire childhood studying the accords and all other shadowhunter law, he’s extremely aware that shadowhunters and especially the clave are far from perfect and are in fact very flawed and very biased. he’ll point it out to anyone who’ll listen and is definitely into working towards a better and more peaceful future

he’s a rebellious free spirit, believes in standing up for your beliefs and always doing what’s right rather than what’s lawful

so yeah in case you wanted to guess he and his parents can’t stand each other

his biggest flaw is that he can be way too idealistic and often forgets how the real world actually works

also has a tendency to mope about helena but insist he’s fine when he’s very clearly Not Fine™

listen okay i cannot stress enough how much he still loves helena he loves her TO PIECES HE LOVES HER SO MUCH SHE IS ABSOLUTELY IT FOR HIM IF YOU ASK HIM LIKE I MEAN SHIT HE WAS GONNA MARRY HER???? HE STILL WANTS NOTHING MORE ANd i cannot stress enough how heartbroken he is right now in spite of pretending he’s fine

he’s bi though if anyone wanted to know lmao

playfully arrogant, especially when it comes to his expertise with those twin seraph blades i mentioned before

stands up for the little guy at every turn

major sweet tooth, especially when it comes to candy and anything chocolate

he is overall a genuinely good person: friendly, understanding, compassionate, extremely considerate, and capable. however, his idealism, stubbornly rebellious nature and default of being extremely emotional, passionate and intense can often be a hindrance, especially as a shadowhunter. surely they would keep him from being the good and effective leader that he could potentially be otherwise, but having spent basically his entire life observing just how much power can corrupt people he’s not particularly interested in being a leader anyway 

ALL HE WANTS IS TO MARRY THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE AND IDK MAYBE A BAG OF M&M’S BUT NAH HE’S JUST GONNA SUFFER

UPDATES!

vander is an A M A Z I N G artist. specifically drawing and painting. art was pretty much the only “frivolous~” hobby his parents allowed him to participate in as a child aside from the occasional piano lesson and vander always loved it. he’s an extremely talented artist and he’s pretty much always drawing / painting in what little free time he has. i have this hc that his runes are absolutely beautiful like they’re perfect and gorgeous and often admired though vander thinks he’s just sorta okay at art and sees it as just a fun little hobby tbh

and really that’s all it is to him. he’s not interested in dropping everything to become an artist nor has he ever been. he loves art but he loves being a shadowhunter too and for now it’s all he has.

vander knows literally nothing about mundane culture. dude can’t drive, can’t work most electronics, will not understand any pop culture references at all he’ll just stare blankly at you completely confused

also doesn’t understand social cues sometimes. he’s gotten better at it in recent years but he can sorta clueless and awkward sometimes due to experiencing basically no socialization during his entire childhood. vander is genuinely nice and always means well but sometimes he’s just...not great with people but it never deters him at all he learns, corrects himself and gets right back into things. he might occasionally need require further explanations and help understanding things sometimes but he’s a pretty quick learner

he could possibly have a parabatai though we would need to do a lot of plotting and there’s a good chance that vander and this parabatai are not on good terms at the moment. not 100% sure about this but feel free to message me if you’re interested anyway

the consul aka helena’s mother literally fucking HATES him personally

finally...that’S ALL FOR NOW. this is so long and if you read it all i don’t know hoW but please feel free to message me for plots!!!! either here or over at @mcrdices is probably best!!!! and as you know i’m down for anything and i’m really excited to write with you all as usual!

#❛ * ｡ ’ ⁝ i know i’m not your favorite record. 「 ooc. 」 #wilshire:ooc #no cute tags yet we're working on it but this is literally so long and probably an absolute disaster #message me if you wanna plot though #here meet a genuinely good person who is a total disaster

[briteboy]

yelling @ santi, i’m evil again (what else is new), SOME REALLY REALLY OLD ASKS, one GoT spoiler at the very bottom (beware)

*angrily slaps santi* GET YOUR SELF TOGETHER YAH POOP HEAD

Lou and Fiona deserve happiness pls let it happen ty

they do ;-; it will happen, don’t worry, no one suffers forever <3 i’ve actually been planning out lou’s story and i’m excited to actualize it hehe

I just read all of Santis story. Dear god, it is amazing. I cannot begin to describe how much I love it. I have been really sick lately and have such a hard time concentrating on anything for more than one second but I have not been able to look away from this story, not even when I re-read it for the third time. You are an amazing writer and I have fallen in love with every charachter you have introduced. I teared up so many times and my heart began beating fast, it was really an experience.

OH MY GOD ;___________; YOU READ IT THREE TIMES WHAATDOSOIGODFSKL holy shit thank you so much, i don’t even know what to say right now lmao ;-; i’m just kinda in awe that i was able to grab your attention like that and that you enjoyed it so much and just askjdjfsd THANK YOU i can’t say anything else but just thank you, people like you make this all worth it <3 

A case of the novembers is the kinda story you read and you just know its going to stick with you for awhile. Like ones day, you'll be long gone in the future, doing something totally different, older wiser, all that bullshit, and you'll just randomly remember what a bittersweet story it was.

OMFG ;___; holy heck asjdjnfkdkjs this really got me right in the heart lmao. that’s the kind of story it’s always been for me and seeing other people interpret it that way as well is just mind boggling, thank you <3 

You are evil. My poor heart hurts. ;______________;

you've ruined my life

Life hack: listen to the entire Hamilton soundtrack whilst working out at the gym. By the end of it, you'll have lost half your body weight due to sweating and crying at the same time (pls help this was such a bad decision)

OMG that’s me with grimes’ art angels lmao i go hord to kill v maim and venus fly

hamilton fans also go hord i respect it. learn more about history get swole killing two birds with one stone

Okay this is so fucking random but a while ago you did a post where you talked about perfect bby gianni saying that he spent a lot of time in introspection and like Thank you 'cause now I have a word to put on this thing I do when I try to figure why I feel certain things or what my relationship with people/random shit is and why and yeah I kind of understand myself a little better now so thx a lot!!! 😘😘😘 Also, you're great.

i think i was actually talking about santi (’cause that’s where we’re at right now, in that period of introspection for him heheh) but YES omg that makes me so happy ;-; it’s a good word lmao and i do the same thing, in fact i’m always trying to figure out my relationships with everything in order to understand myself more. that’s kinda why i’m so into astrology haha. i’m glad you finally got to pin down that feeling for yourself, it’s the best when that happens <3 YOU’RE GREAT TOO 💫

NOOOOOOOO MY FAVS THIS CAN'T... LOU.... SANTI PLS... THIS IS A RIOT 😭😭

let’s start protesting santi in the streets

Hi!! Umm I'm guessing you do but just in case, did you know there was a tear accessory? I think it's an eyeliner (cause you mentioned having to draw them yourself)

yeah i do! i mentioned the ones by s-club, i’ve used those a couple times. but i like drawing them myself because i feel like it’s weird to have the same single teardrop every time one of my characters cries (and we all know they’ve been crying a lot lately lmfao) if they didn’t cry often i probably wouldn’t feel compelled to draw the tears. but i don’t mind drawing them honestly, it’s kinda fun lmao. thanks for your consideration <3 

so im sitting here thinkin....... what if santi goes on this trip and coms back and lou is in a relationship!?!?!

👏santi👏get👏it👏together👏

HE’S TRYIN

i want to die

AAAH SOLE DEVELOPMENT BETWEEN CUTE DEVIL CHILD AND I ALMOST DIED TWICE TATOO MAN YES

I HAD TO READ THIS LIKE THREE TIMES TO UNDERSTAND IT LMFAOSDOJDKF BUT YES their relationship kills me the most ;__;

wait santi tried to kys :'(

WHERE U BEEN he did  :{

what font do u use in your histories?

arial!

hi u have a really pretty blog and I hope you have a good day

THIS IS SO SWEET I DON’T DESERVE IT ;-; I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY TOO HONEYBEE 🌻

nyooooooom

I WENT M.I.A FOR A LITTLE AND I COME BACK TO READ UP ON THE STORY AND HOW DARE YOU ASHDDJFKL

@teishajenaie on instagram looks like Rooney to me, idk if you'd agree but ??

i see it!! definitely in the eyes and nose. also sorry i answered this literally like 3 months later lmao

gooey by glass animals gives me santi vibes :) ive been listening to it on repeat (bc im tht bitch) and it was making me think of you and his story! c: i hope you dont mind me over here lmao anyway, im excited to see where it goes and real excited for a back story for lou!! <3 lots of love

omg haha that’s actually funny because i used it in that one scene of him tripping, although it’s like completely a gianni song to me (at least personality-wise, it’s even on his playlist on my character page) and noooo i don’t mind, i love that song and i love when people recommend me songs!! i have a whole bunch of recommendations in my inbox that i need to acknowledge omg. anyway I’M EXCITED THAT YOU’RE EXCITED, especially for lou’s story, it’s coming up reeeeeal soon <333

i feel so late to the party but i Just started reading your story like five minutes ago and im absolutely entranced by it already and i cant wait to catch up and finally understand what to heck is going on

this was sent literally forever ago when santi and molly were out there being wild in the desert lmao so i hope you caught up and everything. “entranced” omg that’s such a wonderful word i’m honored

i didnt think i could love you more but the fact that you watch arrested development makes me so happy. i cry. my boyfriend has a mr manager, bluths frozen bananas shirt thats literally my favorite thing ever.

OMGGG YES i watched it once forever ago and i need to re-watch it asap lmao. I’M PRETTY SURE I BOUGHT THAT SAME EXACT SHIRT FOR MY BROTHER FOR CHRISTMAS ONE YEAR

Just a biiig prank. Huge

this one is from so long ago i don’t remember the context but i laughed at loud when i read it. huge

i was playing with uncharted for the first time today and they said Navarro in it and i was like THATS MY BOI SANTIII

santi infiltrating everyone’s lives my bf played uncharted tho!! it looked cool. like indiana jones. i liked the marketplace part. a monkey stole his apple

Hi sunny! I really am in love with your story (even if it's tearing me apart at the moment) and just wanted to say you're cool Stay strong ma dude

HI THANK YOU <333 you’re also cool my dude and i’m sorry for tearing you apart (if it makes you feel any better this story tears me apart on a daily basis)

what packs and expansions do u have for ur game?

ummmmmm all of them except vintage glamour and fitness stuff. i wish i didn’t buy some of the stuff packs lmao but what can ya do i actually didn’t even get vampires or bowling or parenthood until like a month ago lmao i’m late to the party

Oh shit she's been dead hasn't she. Like this is all a drug or alcohol infused bender of mollys memory, she's probably never left. They're probably still at the hospital. I hope I fucking wrong but shit I also hope not. Poor santi

we’re so far past this but i just wanted to publish this anyway lmao it was a good theory! and this person was so sure of it it kinda made me wish it was true lol. sorry if that disappointed you but i’ll always remember this one in my sad sad heart 💔

how long did it take for you to make friends here? I started a simblr because I really like storytelling with my sims & I thought it'd be fun to meet people who enjoy that, too, especially since I don't have many friends irl...but I've been here for quite a few months now and it seems like no one even cares that I'm here....everyone I try to interact with pretty much ignores me after a message or two....I'm just feeling really discouraged about my presence here :/

I’M REALLY SORRY I DIDN’T ANSWER THIS SOONER ASKJDKJFSDKA (i’m sure it didn’t help the fact that you feel ignored, i really really hope you see this) but okay uhhhhhhh i only had acquaintances from 2015 up until like this year? then i started really becoming close with people. so it took a while lol, but i think everyone starts off slow because it’s mostly about the actual game we’re playing at first and then making friends just happens through that. don’t get discouraged, like i said it took a while for me. you really just need to reach out to the people you’d like to become friends with, reply to their posts, give your genuine thoughts, say something that’ll make their day...people notice that no matter what they have going on, i promise. i hope you’re still here and hanging in there. don’t get caught up in who’s talking to you or not talking to you, just do your thing, enjoy what you do, and people will notice you. <3

3. Hi so I just wanted to say that I love your story, I'm here for every update. I'm an s3 player I play s4 every once in awhile but s3 has my soul. I love Santi and I know he will be happy in the end, whether it's with Lou or not(hopefully it is tho) I only want him to be happy. I go through so many emotions in one post, like this is a tv drama and I can’t wait for the next episode. This is the end of my cut and paste. Have a nice day.❤️

HI HELLO <3 this is so sweet and i can’t believe you actually care about my story lmao thank you i’m glad you have faith in his happy ending, i don’t want anyone to think i genuinely like making my characters suffer lmao. i only do it to make the happy ending more satisfying. asjdfjksd comparing my stuff to film or tv always makes me so giddy so THANK YOU ily <333

"Suicide before you see this tear fall down my eyes" (Beyonce) reminds me of Molly's situation soooo muchhhh aaaahhhhh

OMG YES what a good connection. good song good connection yaeeahhh better call molly with the good hair

Ummmm... hello! I just read through your whole story with Santi and I'm like... holy fuck. Not only is your story wonderful, your editing is so good. I'm surprised I didn't shove my eyes up against my computer screen. Please continue making wonderful things and being great. Signing off 12:31 in the morning, I hope you have as much fun as you want to

“as much fun as you want to” omfgasdkngjd why did that make me laugh so much. don’t have too much fun, have the responsible amount of fun anyway HELLO thank you soooooO much ;-; pls don’t shove ur eyes up against the screen i’m almost positive that’s not good for them. but i appreciate this so much thank YOU for being great <3 signing off at 2:18 in the morning after ignoring this message for months now (i’m sorryyyyyyy) but um ily

HELLO??? I JUST READ A SERIOUS CASE OF NOVEMBER FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I'M LIKE CRYING???? y u do dis to me I hate you and love you at the same time

(I need to rant I'm sorry) My uncle is really positive towards the army and war and stuff like that and all day he's been going on about how it should be mandatory to serve in the military, especially for "little brat girls" like me? And it's stressing me out so much I want to cry :( The army and war is something that genuinely scares me and I don't want anything to do with it, but he's just going on and on! What should I do?

this is literally sooooooooo late and i feel so bad i’m sorry, i hope this still helps you out and i hope you see it tho okay. i’m pretty sure this was even before the trans military ban like whew idek what your uncle must think about that. tbh just ignore him, like i know it’s hurtful but like...what is his point in telling you this? i would’ve literally been like (sarcastically) “ok then sign me up” but i’m also a lil shit so that’s probably not the best thing to say. but really like the only thing he’s trying to do is feel powerful by means of expressing his militaristic (no pun intended) opinions to someone far younger than him. it’s so that he feels bigger and better than you (especially by calling you a brat). he’s a sad man and anyone who relies on the military, of all things, to shape a person probably doesn’t have a strong sense of self anyway. i love you okay, just ignore him, don’t let him stress you out <3

I'm a little high and it's late but I have a lot of courage now so I've been following you for a while and I just want to tell you how much I love your story! I have come across other places on tumblr who do this but none have captured me as this one did! You are amazing and I am in love with this story! Thanks fo being you! :)

ONMG YOU HAD TO BE HIGH TO SEND THIS LMAO that was me this weekend anyway thank you so much, it floors me every time anyone says these kinds of things to me and it never gets old ;-; you are so amazing ok <333

you can't possibly be offended by a homophobic joke in game of thrones, it's set in medieval times. they had several lgbt characters in it, it's not the show that's homophobic, it's the characters, which is accurate for that time period.

o i can and i will lmao i mean i get where you’re coming from but with that logic you could say it’s only accurate to put homophobic jokes in today’s media just because people are still homophobic in the time live in. i know it’s the characters, but you do understand that someone writes those characters, right? it’s bad writing. it’s lazy and pandering and because of that it’s offensive. idk if you know the exact dialogue i was referring to but it was so completely unnecessary lmfao. they could’ve made a million other jokes. regardless of how it offended me it was just BAD lmao

SPOILER BELOW OK DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YA

@ I wanna watch GoT anon: don't. It's just so fucking bad. The definition of overhyped tbh (and btw, sunny, PLS HELP HE SCREWED HIS FUCKING AUNT WTH)

LMAO SOMEONE ACTUALLY AGREES WITH ME? wow bless u. it is definitely overhyped, like it was good at first but it’s been riding that hype through these past couple of seasons to disguise the bad writing. i understand being entertained by it, but i’m always surprised when people think it’s actually well written at this point...it’s so cringey and now thanks to the season finale this fanbase will be justifying incest. great!

OK MOVE ALONG NOW

#AND I'LL BE ANSWERING THE CHARACTER ASKS TOMORROW (well today but whatev) #anonymous #nonsims #saviorhide #sunny answers

[ladybugseatppl]

congrats for getting top surgery!! i may not know enough about your life to know your options here, but you really should be getting the operation from a surgeon that accepts your insurance because your insurance will take a huge financial hit for you. reaching out to tumblr for money can be a super limited option cause many, like me, cannot afford to help you and will just reblog your post. you may get some money, but this way isnt really effective. i really wish you luck though

About to spill my heart out, dramatic and personal ramblings below because if I’m asking for help I give up the right to privacy ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’m trying in the insurance front, like calling the surgeon and the insurance people every other day for updates, i haven’t heard back from insurance, they said it’s billable but it could be “Cosmestic” so you know insurance code for “go fuck yourself” which is Yikes ™ . I’ve tried asking who they’d cover, but the only doctor in my area now doesn’t actually take that insurance. But if they don’t cover at least part, (which is really all I’m hoping because I plan on selling my soul to banks for medical loans anyway) then it’s literally just medical loans and a Financial plan with interest. I’m a student, loans are no stranger…

My heart is set on this person though… because anyone else has the problem of location, traveling (don’t have reliable transportation), housing during bedrest. Lots of factors make this surgeon better bc I’m actually homeless when the college semester isn’t going, lmao. I like this surgeon because while she’s a little far I could stay with my gf and her parents during recovery which solves that housing problem bc the surgeon is only two hours out from my gf’s. And there’s just not many surgeons for this kind of thing, and even less that are actually skilled in this and are genuine people not just asshole doctors taking advantage of a vulnerable community.

I know I should probably wait till I have my life together more, but the more I wait the more the more strain on my body and the steroids I keep getting to stop the inflammation in my ribs makes me sick but there’s nothing strong enough to stop the cartilage swelling or help it enough so it’s not grossly protruding and making binding impossible for two weeks at a time. Which isn’t to say woe is me I’m obviously more deserving than someone else who doesn’t have severe costochondritis and asthma. Because I’m not. I’m just another person who could use help.

Begging for help on Tumblr actually sucks. Like really bad. I’ve done it before to afford my tuition. And it’s not something I’m going to truly rely on for this surgery, else I’d never save enough for it haha. I know it’s just statistically impossible to not have to take out a medical loan (if insurance doesn’t magically cover the entire thing and let’s be real, I need a miracle for that). At the very least 50 bucks is 50 less I need to pay back with interest to my medical loans. And if by some god damn miracle, insurance is like yes, let’s help kiddo, covers it all, or I had enough left over, then the money I did raise is going straight to the surgical vest, medicine for after surgery care, food because I can’t work and would be out of the semester and not have a meal plan, other post-surgery related costs, and gas money.

That’s my spiel. Kinda tangenty and shit but idk man. Life is hard and I really am trying. I been on the phone and sending so many damn emails I could do this for a living with my experience in the art of crafting “don’t be a transphobe chad” emails to my insurance company.

Also thank you for even taking time to talk to me. I know people are also struggling and like, i don’t want them to give me a few bucks if they couldn’t afford it. God knows there’s been gofundmes that I wanted to help but couldn’t. I’d be really fucked up if a stranger gave a buck they needed to buy something important for. Idk i just figured it was worth a shot to try? I’m a sad broke American student. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ if only I could write this much word vomit for the four essays I have due lmao.

#long post #ask #rhys speaks #anon #uh sorry if the read more thing didn't work #mobile sucks dick #every little bit does make a difference

[devilishly-oya-blog]

MC’s Journal - Jaehee X MC

((READ OTHER ENTRIES BEFORE READING THIS ONE))

Entre #16

The third Wednesday of every month. THE. THIRD. FUCKING. WEDNESDAY. OF. EVERY. MONTH. Usually, this would be my favorite day of the month. Why? It’s movie night with Seven. Usually, I would be so fucking hyped for this night. But, I’m really not. I am sitting on the toilet of my school (my pants are up), skipping my math class, while I write this. To say I was miserable was pretty obvious. It was like every single corner I turned, they were just there. Just. There. Seven has been trying to cheer me up and it might have worked. Just a little bit.

Entre #17

It’s currently 1am, I have school tomorrow, and Seven just left my house. Today was uneventful, just like these past few days. After I wrote that entry in the bathroom stall and went back to class, I got in trouble for skipping class. It’s whatever, no one likes that class anyways. But after school, Seven waited for me by the school gates and we walked to my house. Well, Seven walked. I was being carried on his back.

An hour into Mean Girls 2, due to it being shitty and Seven not being able to handle it, we switched it off and ended up watching Twilight. The entire night, all I was doing was on my phone, was watching those satisfying ass slime videos. Until Seven paused the movie and slapped, literally slapped, my phone out of my hand and it fell on my lap. I gave him one of those ‘bitch fym leave me alone tomato head ahh’ looks. “Look at the fucking movie.” I didn't say anything and was about to grab my phone again until he grabbed it before I did and put it on the other side of the couch next to him. bitch wtf. So I try to reach over him to grab my phone and this hoe literally PUSHES ME OFF THE FUCKING COUCH. like boi wyd. So, my lil not-so-perky ass gets the fuck back up. “Slime videos? Really?” how judgmental. “The green one looks pretty, shut the fuck up.” I sat back down on the couch and forgot to grab my phone. While Bella was saying some shit about Jack never letting go (i don't watch that many movies), I tried to reach over again. I was about to watch a really satisfying floam video. But then Seven literally tackles me down onto the floor for the second time but this time I couldn't get up because the fucker was TICKLING ME. OBVIOUSLY I CANNOT GET UP OR BREATHE IF I AM BEING TICKLED LIKE HOE WTF GET THE FUCK OFF ME BEFORE I STAB YOU WITH A CHOPSTICK LIKE BITCH.

“SEVEN I WILL STAB YOU WITH THE FUCKING CHOPSTICKS IN MY MOM’S CABINET I AM NOT FUCKING WITH YOU.”

Obviously it didn't sound like that. I could barely breathe and was laughing too much.

After a good idk 3 minutes of being tickled continuously on the floor, I was finally able to get back up. Now, me and Seven were just sitting on the couch in silence.

“Seven?” “Yes, MC?” “I want a donut.” “I think there are some from last time I was over.” THIS BOI “You want me to eat those crusty ass donuts?” “They can still be good if you microwave them for like 30 seconds.” “That’s fucking gross Seven what the fuck.” “How is that gross. They'll be fine.” “Seven, no.” “MC, yes.” “No.” “yeS.” “sEVEN NO.” “MC YES.”

That went on for a while. Basically after the movie, Seven went home and I continued on with my slime videos. Until 1am. And now I’m writing in this stupid journal.

Entre #18

After last night, I feel way better. I guess. Mourning doesn't do caca to help anyone. So i’m done mourning. From now on I will be grown, independent, and smart. But i’ll still depend on Seven for my donuts and life support. I don’t need no woman to feel happy. Well, that’s what I was saying to myself before I saw her walking in the hallway.

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HI. OUR ACCOUNT IS OVERFLOWING WITH THESE ENTRIES. MUCH SORRY. WE PROMISE WE HAVE MORE THINGS COMING OUT SOON LOL. IF YOU WANNA SEE SOMETHING BE WRITTEN, YOU CAN MESSAGE US AND REQUEST A SHIP AND IDEA AND WE WILL WRITE IT (mostly mm and haikyuu ships lmao) IN CASE YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN, WE HAVE A CHAPTER BOOK WHICH WE HAVE NOT UPDATED IN A WHILE (around 3 months...) AND WE WILL HAVE A CHAPTER UP SOON, WE PROMISE. WE HAVE MENTIONED THIS BEFORE BUT WE DO HAVE AN INSTAGRAM (@devilishlyoya) AND YOU CAN LOOK AT IT IF YOU WANT LOLOL

#cin luv oikawa 5eva #lucyy stressing send help #lucyy want saeyounggggg #mystic messenger #mm #mysme #707 #jaehee kang #jaehee x mc #saeyoung choi #luciel choi #707 mm #707 mysme #707 mystic messenger #saeyoung choi mm #saeyoug choi mysme #saeyoung choi mysticmessenger #luciel choi mm #luciel choi mysme #luciel choi mystic messenger #jaehee kang mm #jaehee kang mysme #jaehee kang mystic messenger