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nottapossum · 7 months

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Father knows best chapter 7: The Family Jewels

Summary:

Millie is trying to find Moxxie, Cash and Blitzø talk, Crimson’s the worst, Alessio is sus.

Notes:

TW: language, creepy people, blackmail, calling a trans woman he/him in past because it was before they knew, will not be using any variation of a deadname or anything like that. And feelings. Lmk if I should add. ‘I can't break the cycle, am I just a fool? Falling down like dominoes, hit by family jewels Pass it down from kid to kid, the chain will never end 'Less I decide to go to it, will I see the end? Ooh, don't you find it strange? Only thing we share is one last name Did I beat you at your own game? Typical of me to put us all to shame.’ ~The family jewels by Marina and the diamonds.

~~~Moxxie~~~

Alessio sent Moxxie to Crimson’s office the next morning.

It was taking Millie and Blitzø forever to find him, but he had to stay strong for them.

The walk to his father’s office gave Moxxie a creepy deja vu feeling, remembering when Alessio would often send him there when Crimson wanted to talk to him. Usually it was about work, sometimes it had to do with Moxxie doing something wrong.

“You wanted to talk to me….sir?” Moxxie asks.

“Come in.” Crimson says to him, setting his pen down and giving Moxxie his full attention.

Moxxie does as he’s told and walks into the room.

But, Moxxie’s hand clenched the door handle tightly as if closing the door behind him would result in repeating the actions of yesterday…

“Moxxie…” Crimson warns.

Moxxie takes a deep breath in attempt to slow down his fast beating heart. He closes his eyes, then closes the door slowly.

“Good boy.” Crimson says. “Now, take a seat. I’d like to talk about how things are gonna work around here now that you’re home.”

Moxxie turns to Crimson, but he doesn’t sit. “Sir. Why are yo-“

“Don’t interrupt me.” Crimson snaps at him. “You’re lucky you’re not dead after the stunt you pulled, do you have any idea what you di-“

“I don’t want to stay here! I dont- I can’t-“ Moxxie shouts, slamming his hands on the desk. “I won’t! Why don’t you understand that?”

Crimson stands and interrupts. “I couldn’t care less what you want, you ungrateful bitch! You’re staying here with me and that’s final!” Crimson says.

“No, I’m not! Why the fuck would I ever stay here? Why do you even want me here? You don’t care about me!” “Is that really what you think?” Crimson asks. “Yes! And you can’t change that! You can force me to regress all you want, but that won’t change anything, my REAL family will find m-“

“You really think those clowns are your family? Don’t be stupid.” Crimson says. “I suggest you learn who your real family is fast before somebody gets hurt.” Crimson pulled out a cigar and lighter. “W-what do you mean?” Moxxie asks. Crimson lights his cigar, then puts the lighter back in his pocket. “Your boss, Blitzø adopted a hell hound a few years ago, goes by the name of Loona; funny, he’s even stupid enough to call the thing his daughter.” Crimson explains.

Moxxie’s heart increased volume as the rest of the room remained silent for a moment. “What?”

“He also has a twin sister, goes by the name Barbie Wire. She’s currently dwelling in Sloth. St. Alan hospital’s rehab center to be exact. She was omitted by Blitzø after overdosing on Hydromorphone. She’s making some great progress I hear. Expected to get out of there any time now.” Crimson grins. “His father is also still around, I had a lovely conversation with him.”

Moxxie looks away for a moment, biting down a comment about how glad he was that Crimson got to meet another shitty father to bond with.

“And you’re lovely Mildred.” Crimson starts again, chuckling, causing Moxxie to snap his eyes back at him again. “Her parents Lynn and Jo, live on a humble little farm in wrath with their four sons-“

“Three sons.” Moxxie corrects.

“What?” Crimson asks.

“Sally Mae is trans.” Moxxie says.

Crimson raises an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

Moxxie sighs. “She’s a girl.”

Crimson rolls his eyes. “Fine. Whatever.”

“I don’t understand, dad. Why are you doing this? I’m not even-“

Crimson harshly grabs Moxxie’s face with his claws, digging deep into Moxxie’s skin as his father pulls him closer. “I know it’s very hard for your dumb little boy brain to understand, so I’ll make it simple for ya. You work at I.M.P no longer, you will take your rightful place in the organization, and you WILL start fucking listening to me!” Crimson’s voice suddenly becomes softer: “In return, you’ll be protected and properly taken care of.”

Moxxie gulps.

“It’s better this way.” Crimson says, letting his chin go in favor of patting his head. “I mean, did you honestly believe they’re better with you there holding them back all the time?” He asks.

A sharp pain of guilt struck Moxxie’s chest, he felt like death.

Would Millie really be better off without him?

No, of course not, Millie loved him!

Crimson was trying to manipulate him.

But, if he doesn’t agree, he’ll just go after Millie and Blitzø’s family.

He’ll be hurting Millie and Blitzø in a way they could never recover from…

It’ll be all his fault!

Moxxie rubs his arm anxiously. “But, what about…”

“If you’re worried about the rest of I.M.P, don’t be. So long as you’re obedient, they won’t be hurt.” Crimson says.

Moxxie sighs. “Promise?”

Crimson looks into Moxxie’s eyes, his gaze cold and deadly. “You have my word.”

Moxxie sighs. “Okay…”

“Good boy.” Crimson smiles.

“But-“

Crimson raises both eyebrows at him.

“D-Do I really have to regress?” Moxxie asks. “I’ll do whatever you say, I just- I don’t want to-“

“Moxxie…” Crimson grabs his face again, but gentler this time. “Someone needs to look after you.” He says, caressing the young imp’s cheek with his thumb. “It’s not like you’re capable of doing it yourself.” He scolds.

“Sir-“

“Don’t fucking question me again, Moxxie. Do you understand?”

Moxxie deflates. “Yes, sir.”

“Good boy.” Crimson praised. “You know as well as I do that you have commitments here, responsibilities. You really thought I was gonna let you try and run off like your mother did? I don’t think so.”

His mother died! She didn’t abandon him!

She never would…

She never left him!

~~~Past~~~

His parents were screaming at each other, it wasn’t even lunch time yet, and they were screaming like there was a fire.

Moxxie was trying to read in his room when he hears his mother shout: “That’s it! I’m going to my sisters!”

“Great! Knock yourself out! Have a fucking good time getting drunk with your slutty sister!” Crimson shouts. “See if I care!”

Moxxie’s mother sighs. “Moxxie!” She called.

Moxxie closes the book and sets it aside.

Book abandoned, he starts to walk down the stairs. “Yes, Mama?”

“What are you doing? You are not taking him!” Crimson says.

Moxxie stops moving at his father’s tone, he hoped they wouldn’t go at it again.

“Pack a suitcase, Chip. We’re visiting your cousins for a few days.” His mother tells him.

“The hell you are!” Crimson says. “Moxxie, get down here. You’re staying with me!”

Moxxie stays where he is, he wants to listen to his parents, but his father wants him downstairs and his mother wants him upstairs, so mid-stairs seems like a good middle ground to satisfy both parents.

“I want him to be a regular kid for once! Going to wrath will allow him to play outside, get some sunshine, some fresh air!” She says.

“Overrated bullshit!” His father says. “He doesn’t need any of that!”

“He never gets to see his cousins.” She says. “He’s just a kid, he should be allowed to have some fun every now and then.” She says.

Moxxie knew the truth though, it had nothing to do with him, and everything to do with his father; Mama never let him alone with daddy for long.

“Fine, if it gets rid of you for a few days, it’ll be fucking worth it.” Crimson says, leaving the room and slamming the door.

Moxxie didn’t like when they fought, why can’t they just get along for once?

His mother smiles at him. “Pack a bag, chip.” She instructed.

Moxxie forced a smiled back at her, then did as he was told.

But He hates his cousins, and he hates when his parents fight…

Why can’t they just love each other?

Was it really that hard?

~~~Blitzø~~~

Blitzø returned to greed to meet with his father as requested.

He knew whatever it was he was up to, wasn’t going to be good. He hasn’t even spoken with Cash since the incident. What could he possibly want to about now?

‘You did this, she’d still be alive if it wasn’t for you.’

No, it’s okay. It’s over….

Blitzø’s okay.

Blitzø walks into the tent without warning as Cash sat at a desk to collect his little profit.

“Blitzo.” Cash greeted with a sadistic smile. “You actually showed up, what a surprise.”

Blitzø crossed his arms. “Let’s get this over with quickly, alright? I have places to be.”

“Can’t even make time to talk with your own father?” Cash asks. “You alway we’re a disrespectful little shit.” He scolded.

Blitzø rolls his eyes. “Oh please, the best parenting you’ve done was on the stage, and even then it wasn’t very convincing.”

“You haven’t changed a bit, have you?” Cash asks, rolling his eyes aswell.

“I’ve changed plenty actually.” Blitzø explains, eyes going dark. “These days, when I shoot someone, I don’t fucking miss.”

Cash glares daggers at Blitzø. “I suggest you talk to me more respectfully, boy. I do have something you want after all.”

“Yeah? What might that be?” Blitzø asks.

“Information.” Cash smiles. “You want your employee back, well I know who took him.”

“I’m not sure if I believe you.” Blitzø says.

“His name is Moxxie knolasname, he has white hair, he’s short, loves night at the opera-“

“Doesn’t prove anything.” Blitzø says. “Also, it’s phantom of the…”

“Does this prove anything?” Cash asks. The older Imp grabs something from the dresser behind him and shows it to Blitzø.

Moxxie’s bow tie…? At least one of them. How did he-

Blitzø takes out his revolver. “I swear to fuck, if you hurt him…”

“Looks like you finally believe me, eh?” Cash laughs. “I really should just let this be, let you suffer and not tell you a thing about your stupid employee, especially after what you did to my Tilla and my beautiful circus all those years ago.”

Blitzø feels a pain in his gut, and his legs feel faint. “I didn’t-“

“Yes, the fuck you did, you little prick!” Cash yelled at him.

Blitzø’s heart pounded inside him, he’s resisted the urge to run, or rip this man’s head off. “It was an accident and you know that! An accident you caused in case you forgot! Which by the way, if you didn’t sell me to stupid birds, you wouldn’t have had a circus to burn down anyway!”

“You could never let that go, could ya? You know you loved it, you manipulative whore!” Cash scolded. “You always had to use other people to get what you wanted, I just capitalized on it.”

“That’s not true…” Blitzø says.

He hoped it wasn’t…

“That’s why you were with Fizzarolli, wasn’t it?” Cash asks. “So he’d make you look good, he’d benefited you.”

“No!” Blitzø says. “I was with him because I love him-“ Blitzø hears himself and lowers his voice, “loved. I mean loved him.” He corrects softly.

Fuck.

Of course he can finally admit it, now that they’re not together. Why couldn’t he just tell Fizz how he felt before?

“And what about that demon prince? Stolas right? The one you constantly complained about, the one I sold you too?” Cash asks.

“It’s a mutual agreement.” Blitzø says, arms crossed.

“Of course it is.” Cash scoffs.

“We’re not dating, it’s nothing serious.” Blitzø says. “But we both know that. I’m not manipulating him and he’s not manipulating me. I’m not you!”

Cash laughs. “Sure you’re not. I’m sure you both have good intentions.

“We do, not that it’s any of your fucking business!” Blitzø says.

Cash chuckles. “Maybe it’s not, but it will be.”

Blitzø growls. “The fuck is that supposed to mean? If you think you can just-“

“Ah-ah.” Cash interrupted. “Daddy’s speaking now, little one. Unless you’d rather not know where he is.” Cash condescendingly remarks.

Blitzø sits down and crosses his arms again.

Unfortunately, cash is right. Blitzø needs answers.

He can’t just leave Moxxie to deal with this alone.

“That’s a good boy. I thought maybe to let you watch as they killed the little bitch boy, but then I realized I could benefit from this. You have something I want, I have something you want.”

Blitzø didn’t like where this is going…

Cash then grabs a pile of papers and hands it to Blitzø.

Blitzø’s eyes widen as he looks the papers over. “You want I.M.P?”

“No, what I want is money, but I don’t suppose you have that, do you?” Cash asks.

When Blitzø doesn’t answer, Cash continues: “It’s a pretty simple contract, you give me I.M.P and all its assets, you and your employees will work for me for the remainder of your pathetic lives, and I will tell you where the little shit is located. We got a deal?”

Blitzø exhales deeply…

This can’t be happening…

~~~Mille~~~

Millie knocked on the door to what she assumed was Moxxie’s aunt’s house.

She had no clue what she was doing, but had confidence in her ability to convince herself she knows what she’s doing.

The door opens and a tall woman with long dark hair answers: “Hello? Can I help you?”

“Hi, my name is Millie. I’m looking for the family of Moxxie knowlasname.” She says.

“Moxxie?” The lady asks. “Like Kay and Crimson’s kid?”

“Yes.” Millie says.

“And who exactly are you?”

“Millie, I’m his wife.” She says.

The woman smiled, then pulled Millie inside the house before she could say more. “Well, why didn’t you say so, come in darlin’ let me make you somethin. I’m Liz, Moxxie’s favorite aunt.” She says.

“Nice to meet you.” She says. Millie walks in the house, following Liz. Something about her rubbed Millie the wrong way, she found herself eager to leave. “Look, I don’t have much time to chat, you see, Moxxie is missing, and he-“

“How long have you and Moxxie been together?” Liz asks, as if Millie hadn’t said a thing.

“Did you not hear what I just-“

“I heard you, we’ll get back to it.” Liz says. “Answer the question.”

Millie raises an eyebrow. “Uhm, okay. Well, we’ve been together for almost three years now. Married for only a year and a half.” Millie explains.

Liz nods. “Wow. Well, congratulations. I can’t say I’m not disappointed that I wasn’t invited, but I suppose under your circumstances I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“What circumstances are those?” Millie asks.

“Well, his family. You know his dad is into some dirty dealings, don’t you?”

“Yes. But Moxxie cut ties with those people.” She says.

“Oh, sweetie. If you think he’s not involved in that business, you’re in denial.”

“Guess I am then, because he isn’t.” Millie says, crossing her arms.

“Sure, hun.” Liz says.

“He isn’t!”

“Alright. How long has Moxxie been missing?” Liz asks.

“He was taken two days ago.” Millie says.

“How do you know Moxxie was taken?” Liz asks. “You sure he didn’t just leave?”

“Of course he didn’t leave, Moxxie would never just leave me.” Millie says.

“You sure? Not even to protect you?” Liz asks.

Millie thought about it…

He wouldn’t…would he?

Well, he didn’t tell her about his father, or

No! His phone was smashed, and he would have left a note…

He would never hurt Millie…

“You’re trying to distract me, and it won’t work, I will find him wether you want me to or not!” Millie says. “And if I find him here, I will kill you.” She snarls.

Liz doesn’t look scared. “I’m sorry, dear. You may look all you like. Don’t forget the attic and the cellar.” Liz says.

Millie glares at her. “Thanks.”

~~~Millie, Past~~~

Millie didn’t use to believe in fate. She didn’t believe in soulmates or one true love. She didn’t believe in meant to be’s.

She believed hard work earned you everything, this was something drilled into her from a very young age.

But then, she met Moxxie.

“Mildred, get in here!” Her mother shouted.

“Yes, Mama?” Millie asks as she made her way downstairs.

“Your teacher called. She said you beat up a kid at your school.” Lynn says. “Is that true?”

“He called me a messy haired bitch!” She says. “I had to show him who was boss!”

“That’s no excuse, young lady. You get too carried away. Now they’re demanding we handle the medical bill. When will you learn? You fight fire with fire. Not gasoline?” Lynn asks.

“But he deserved it!” Millie says.

“It wasn’t a fist fight, Millie. If they insult you with words, you fire back with words. Got that?”

“Yes, Ma.” Millie mumbles, arms crossed.

“Honestly, what are we gonna do with you? You’re worse than your brothers.” Lynn tisks. “You’re going to be paying us back every dime of this.” She says.

“But-“

“No arguing, get upstairs and take some time to think about what you did.” Lynn demanded.

Millie stomps upstairs to her and her sister’s room.

“It’s not fair, I always get in trouble!” She says. “How come you don’t?” Millie asks.

“Because,” her younger sister shrugs. “I’m better than you.”

“You’re not better than me!” Millie says.

“Ugh, yes, I am!” Sally says.

“Nah uh!”

“Uh huh!”

“Yes, and besides he’s right. Your hair is messy.” She says. “It’s gross.”

Millie’s blood boils. “You’re gross! You seriously want to fight me? You want to get what he got?”

“Bring it, sis. Let’s settle this once and for all.” Sally challenges.

“You’re on!” Millie says.

~~~Moxxie, past~~~

“Roxxie, let go of your sister!” Moxxie could hear from inside. He never understood his cousins, they were loud, they ran around, they fought. Why did they find that enjoyable? What was the point? People just get hurt.

“Not until she says uncle!” Roxxie shouts.

“Oww! Mom!”

“Knock it off you too! Your aunt Kay will be here any minute!”

“Mom?” Moxxie asks, tugging on his mother’s sleeve. “Do we have to go in there?” He asks.

“Come on, Chip. Don’t you want to see your family?” His mother asks.

Suddenly they hear a loud ��crash!’

“Roxxie, Trixxie!” His aunt shouted.

“She did it!” The twins shout.

“Not really.” Moxxie answers.

“Come on, chip. It’ll be fun.” His mother promised, taking his hand and knocking on the door.

Moxxie sighs. “Yes, mama.”

“Aunt Kay!” The twins shouted, hugging their aunt, then they both hugged Moxxie.

Moxxie just sorta stood there while the twins hugged him. The twins were just full of excitement, he wasn’t sure how to respond to it; hhis entire body just froze.

“Hello, Moxxie.” His aunt Liz greets.”

“Hi.” Moxxie says nonchalantly, just staring and forcing himself to keep eye contact.

“Lively as ever I see.” Liz says sarcastically before turning her attention to her sister. “Hey, sis.”

Moxxie’s mother hugs her sister. “It’s been ages.”

They said more, but Moxxie couldn’t concentrate on that, his cousins were chatting and talking to Moxxie about certain events in wrath; But it was hard to pay attention, hard to register, there was too much going on at once, his body wanted nothing more than to disappear, or just go home.

Suddenly aunt Liz picked up Kayla their youngest child and leaned over to Moxxie. “Kyla, can you say hi to Moxxie?” Liz asks her in a babyish tone.”Can you say hi?

The one year old only stared at Moxxie who stared back.

“Hi Kayla.” Moxxie says. Not sure why Liz wanted this, Kayla probably wouldn’t remember this interaction from being too young, and Kayla can’t talk so Moxxie receives nothing from this interaction.

Liz smiles, “come in, I have sweet tea.” She says to Kay. “Roxxie, Trixxie, play nice now.” She says.

“Come on, Moxxie! Let’s play capture the flag!” Roxxie says.

“Mom?” Moxxie asks desperately, he doesn’t want to play with his cousins.

But: “Go play, chip.” Is what his mother ordered.

Moxxie sighs. He doesn’t want to, but he does as she says. He’s not sure why his mom insisted on forcing him to interact with his cousins, they’re have nothing in common.

Honestly, Moxxie would rather be at home. What if something bad happened? What if Sir needed them?

What if Moxxie did something wrong, and he wasn’t there to explain himself?

He didn’t want to be in trouble when they got back.

“Moxxie!” Roxxie calls. “Come on!”

~~~Moxxie, past, Later~~

“Moxxie! There’s a huge mud fight happenin’ over by hudson’s barn. Wanna come with?” Roxxie asks him.

“No.” Moxxie answers, not looking up from his book.

“Mox, go outside and play.” His mother ordered, taking the book from him.

“Wait, I’m not done with that!” Moxxie complains, trying to reach for the book again.

“You need some sunshine, it’s good for you.” His mother says. She sets the book down without a bookmark… Great, now he’ll have to start the chapter over again.

“But they’re playing in mud.” Moxxie argues softly.

“Then go get muddy! It builds character.” She says.

“Reading builds character.” Moxxie mumbles grumpily.

“Moxxie, I’m not going to tell you again.” She says sternly. “Go!”

“Okay, okay.” He surrendered. “I’ll go.”

“Drop the attitude, Moxxie. I’m doing this for your own good.” She says.

Moxxie didn’t believe her

~~~Moxxie~~~

Crimson left shortly after their conversation, knowing Moxxie wouldn’t dare cross him after threatening Blitzø and Millie.

So, with nothing left to do, he went to his room…

And he stayed there for hours.

Crimson knew exactly what to do to make Moxxie listen.

He threatened good people, people he loved.

He’ll never see them again…

Never take part in Blitzø’s idiotic schemes,

Never quarrel with Loona,

He’ll never kiss Millie again… It’s all over for them.

His life is over.

There’s a knock on the door, but Moxxie doesn’t answer, he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t care who it is!

But, the door opens regardless.

Moxxie sighs. “What do you want?” He asks, knowing exactly who it was.

Alessio steps closer. “Are you alright?”

“What do you care? You would have shot me in cold blood.” Moxxie mumbles.

“You brought this on yourself, you know. You know what happens to those who cross Crimson.” Alessio says.

“How exactly is me living crossing him?” Moxxie asks.

“You ran away.” Alessio answers.

“Maybe, but what’s so wrong with me being happy for a change?” Moxxie asks. “I got everything I could ever dream of. I worked hard and life got so much better for me the second I stepped out of this stupid fucking house!” He shouted. “Away from you, and away from him!”

“There are more important things in this life than mere happiness, Moxxie.” Alessio says. “Like family for instance-“

“Like my wife you forced me to abandon?” Moxxie asks.

“You want her to join us instead?” Alessio asks. “You are not like them, you’re different.” Alessio says.

Moxxie’s eyes fill up once again with tears. He hates this, hates this life, hates his father, and Alessio!

Moxxie shakes his head. “What are you even doing here?” Moxxie asks, not knowing how to respond to Alessio.

“Your father asked me to inform you that lunch is being served.” Alessio says.

Moxxie shakes his head again. “I don’t care.”

“Moxxie-“

“I’m not hungry.” Moxxie says. “Please leave me alone?”

“Very well.” Alessio agrees, walking towards the door.

Moxxie crosses his arms, and turns away from Alessio.

“Your life isn’t over, Moxxie.” Alessio says. “It has only resumed.”

“Al?” Moxxie’s asks.

Alessio turns to look at Moxxie.

“Why does he want me here?” Moxxie asks him. “Why couldn’t he just leave me alone?”

“That’s a question for him.” Alessio says. “Don’t you think?”

“He won’t tell me anything.” Moxxie says.

“Then perhaps you simply don’t need to know.” Alessio says, closing the door behind him as he exited Moxxie’s room.

~~~Millie~~~

Millie was trying to not be irritated at Liz. She kept going on about her sister, saying that Moxxie must have left with the mafia and Millie wasn’t going to find him.

No wonder Moxxie never introduced them, Liz is crazy.

“Crimson almost never let her visit, he hit her, he was always extremely possessive. And I’m sure he is doing the same thing to Moxxie. He had been since he was a young’n, he never was very strong.” She says.

Millie growls. “Moxxie is the strongest person I know!” She says. Liz doesn’t reply, and Millie can’t find anything in the house, she practically tore it upside down and found nothing. She was about to just leave when three imps walked into the house.

They were chatting. Two adults. And one that was in their late-teens it seemed.

“Girls- I mean, daughters and non-binary offspring.” Liz greets. “Meet Millie.”

The trio paused to look at her.

“These are my kids, Roxxie, Trixx, and Kayla.” Liz says.

Trixx, the gray haired Imp smiles awkwardly. “Sup.”

“Hi.” Kayla, the youngest one says.

“What’s going on?” Roxxie, the dark haired imp asks.

“This is Moxxie’s wife Millie. You remember Moxxie, right?” Liz asks them.

“Of course.” Roxxie says.

“Sure.” Trixx says.

While the youngest one shook her head in confusion.

Roxxie shakes Millie’s hand. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you Millie.” She says.

“Who’s Moxxie?” Kayla asks.

“You were too young to remember him.” Trixx says. “Is Moxxie okay? Did something happen?”

“Moxxie’s missing.” Millie explains. “I’m sorry, I can’t stay. I have to find him.” She says, trying desperately to leave without sounding rude.

“Millie, he’s probably with his father.” Liz says again.

“We’ve established this, we checked there. He’s not with Crimson!” Millie says loudly.

Liz takes Millie’s hand. “Moxxie isn’t coming back, Millie! Not if he knows what’s good for him.” Liz says. “Let him go…”

“Mom!” Trixx scolds.

“What the fuck are y’all even talking about?” Kayla asks.

While Roxxie’s eyes widened with intrigue, she stayed silent.

Millie shakes her head. “You don’t know him. He’d never give up on me. He loves me!” Millie says. “And I wouldn’t give up on him either.”

“He’s one of them, Mildred. I know, I went through it with my sister. He wouldn’t want you to share her fate.” Liz says.

“Well, you don’t need to worry about me, I can take care of myself.” Millie says, heading to the door.

“I know about these things, Millie. Trust me! They go after what they want! No mercy or exceptions!” Liz explains. “Love can’t save you from them.”

“You’re wrong.” Millie says, walking out and slamming the door behind her.

Moxxie would never leave her…

He couldn’t.

~~~Millie: past~~~

Millie and her siblings were engaged in the mud fight of the century! Kids from all around were joining in.

It was a blast!

Suddenly, a trio of imps caught Millie’s attention.

Two dark haired imps, and one with white hair.

“Come on Moxxie!” One of them shouted.

“I’m coming!” He said, trying to keep up with them.

Then he slipped, falling backwards into the mud.

But the other two kept running, didn’t even look back.

Millie knew what it was like to be left behind, so she approached him. “Need help?” Millie asks, offering her hand.

Moxxie looks her up and down, then takes her hand and allows her to help him. “Thanks.”

“I’m Millie!” She says.

“Uh…Moxxie.” He says.

“Nice to meet you, Moxxie! I’m playing war with my brothers, wanna be on my team?” She asks.

“Uhm-“ Moxxie rubs his arm anxiously. “Well I don’t really-“

Suddenly Moxxie is hit with some mud, and he recoils.

Millie grabs his arm and leads him to her earthworks to hide behind.

“You good for nothin’ scoundrel!” Millie grabbed a glob of mud and threw it in her sister’s direction.

“You stupid bitch!” She shouted back.

“Come on, Moxxie!” Millie shouts. “It’s fun!”

“What’s fun about throwing mud at people? Wouldn’t throwing grenades or something be more effective?” Moxxie asks.

“Probably.” Millie says, “but, I can’t kill my own brother (sister).”

“I see.” Moxxie says. “But, it’s important for you to win this mud fight regardless?” He asks.

“Yeah, I gotta teach him (her) a lesson, he (she) thinks he’s (she’s) so much better than me! Can you believe that?” Millie asks.

“Hmm,” Moxxie thinks. “I think I might have an idea.” Moxxie says to her.

“Really?” She asks.

“Yeah, you helped me, so I supposed I should help you.” Moxxie says.

“What is it?” She asks.

Moxxie smiles and proceeds to show Millie how to make a bomb out of random stuff he found, as well as some parts he brought with him.

Instead of anything dangerous though, they were made to splatter mud everywhere.

Safe to say, Millie won the mud fight thanks to Moxxie’s assistance.

And it was so fucking worth it, even if everyone there was completely covered in mud.

And even if Moxxie slipped and broke his arm afterwards…

Yeah…

The siblings gathered around Moxxie to ask about the bombs he made, Moxxie feeling overwhelmed by them slipped and fell on his arm which made it break.

That was the first time Millie saw an actual bone sticking out of someone’s body.

And Moxxie seemed more annoyed by the injury then upset.

His cousins ran to get their moms.

So, Millie sat with him until they showed up to help.

She refused to leave him alone.

She told him all sorts of stories while he just sat there holding his broken arm.

Millie talked about home, she talked about school,

“And that’s why you should never play football on a golf course, I’ve never really understood golf, why should the lower points win? That’s just silly- wait, I’m not talking too much, am I? My Ma and pa say I always get carried away, I don’t try to but I just do!” She says.

Moxxie shakes his head. “You can talk all you want. I like it. You have a nice voice.”

She smiles and him, and he smiles back, and she continued until his mom showed up to help.

~~~Present~~~

Moxxie always had her back… he always supported her.

And she was never going to leave him alone. He was going to be safe and sound and that’s final!

“Millie?!” Called Trixx who ran out of the house.

“Oh…hi.” Millie says.

“I’m so sorry about my mom. She’s been through a lot.” Trixx says. “I still follow Moxxie’s socials, he seems like a decent guy.” They say.

Millie smiles and nods. “Thanks. He is.”

“I hope you find him. Call me if I can help at all.” Trixx handed her a card with a number.

“Thank you.” She says.

“Of course, Moxxie has always been nice to me. He was the first person to text me when I came out. He’s always been supportive. I hope mom is wrong.”

“I almost wish she wasn’t, I’d have a chance at finding him.” Millie says.

Trixx nods. “Yeah… So, where you gonna look next?”

Millie shakes her head. “I don’t know, any ideas?”

Trixx shakes their head. “I haven’t seen him in years.”

“Well, thanks anyway.”

“Good luck, Millie.” Trixx says. “Tell him hi when you find him.”

Millie smiles. “I will.”

~~~Moxxie, past~~~

Moxxie was leaving the next day, and for once he was upset about it.

The harvest moon festival was going on, so Moxxie walked as far away from it as he could to read.

The noise was just too much. So he found a tree, where it was quiet.

Moxxie didn’t like quiet much, but on rare occasions he found the pleasure in it

“Moxxie! I found you!” A voice shorted.

“Millie! Hi!” He smiles, abandoning his book to give her his full attention.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere! Can I sign your cast?” Millie asks him, already holding up a marker she had brought herself. “Please?”

Moxxie smiles and gives her his arm so she can. “Of course.”

“Thanks. I wanted to properly thank you for helping me win.” She says.

“Oh, you’re welcome. It was fun actually.” Moxxie says. “I’ll say!” Millie says. “What started the mud fight anyway?” Moxxie asks her.

Millie sighs. “I dunno, I was angry and got carried away.” She says. “A boy at school…he said I was a messy haired bitch. I hate him.” She says, “and no one disagrees with him… I guess he’s right and maybe I overreacted.” Millie says.

“I don’t think you overreacted.” Moxxie says. “And you have nice hair.”

Millie smiles. “You think so?”

“Yeah, it’s nice.” Moxxie shrugs. “And you’re nice too.”

“No, I’m not.” She scoffs.

“You helped me up, no one else did.” He says.

“I guess that’s true.” Millie says. “I think you were very brave out there.” She says.

“Me?” Moxxie asks.

“Yeah! Your arm broke and you didn’t even cry! My brothers probably would have, that looked awful painful. Not me though, I’m tough.”

Moxxie chuckled. “Oh, well…I’ve broken it before. It didn’t hurt that much.” He says.

“Still cool though. Where did you move here from anyway?” Millie asks. “I assume you’re not from here on account of you being so different then most folks around here.”

“I’m from Greed, we’re only visiting. We’re going home tomorrow actually.” Moxxie explains.

“Oh.” Millie says sadly. “Will you ever come back to wrath?” She asks.

“Yeah, we visit every year.” He says.

“You can visit me next year…if you want.” Millie suggests.

“I’d love to.” Moxxie smiles.

Millie and Moxxie continued to talk. Despite loving the festival, Millie didn’t regret spending the rest of the day with Moxxie.

He really was so different then the other kids around here…

And she liked that.

~~~Blitzø~~~

“Stolas, I really can’t talk right now.” Blitzø says as he answered the phone. He told Cash he needed some time to think it over, and luckily he agreed. But, now Blitzø was left with a stupidly impossible choice!

“You can never talk, Blitzø! You’re always ready with an excuse, please stop trying to avoid it and just talk to me?” Stolas asks.

Blitzø hates how much Stolas knows him. “Stolas, I-“

“I promise no one is judging you.” Stolas says. “You don’t have to be embarrassed based on a little meltdown.”

Blitzø sighs, he should have known Stolas would eventually put two and two together.

A little meltdown is an understatement, he’s had multiple meltdowns, none as bad as this one…

Honestly, Blitzø was embarrassed…and confused about what happened afterwards- maybe even a little scared…

But that didn’t matter now. Stolas didn’t need to know how upset he was over that.

What he doesn’t know won’t kill him. Besides, he’s got a real reason to avoid the bird this time.

“This isn’t about that.” He says to Stolas.

And it wasn’t…kinda wasn’t at least- he hated that it happened, but he was willing to let it go until he and Stolas talked and it made everything worse.

‘I want to give you all the love you deserve.’

He was just so nice! He cared so much!

Too much…

“Then why have you been avoiding me?” Stolas asks. “Every time we talk, you have an excuse. Just talk to me, don’t you think I deserve that at least?” He asks.

He does, Blitzø owes a lot to Stolas. Stolas has done everything he can for Blitzø… he at least deserves the truth. “Okay, maybe it was because of that- before- but not because of what happened…”

“What do you mean?” Stolas asked.

Blitzø realized that lying may be his best option now, he can’t risk loosing or hurting Stolas. “I just- I needed some time to get over it… but now- it’s about Moxxie.”

“Moxxie? Your employee?” Stolas asks.

“He’s missing.” Blitzø confirms.

“Oh dear, that is troubling.” Stolas says.

“Yeah.”

“Any idea where he might be?” Stolas asks him.

“We have a lead, but I’m not sure if I trust it.” Blitzø explains.

“I’m sorry.” Stolas says. “I had no idea-“

“It’s fine.” Blitzø says.

Stolas sighs. “I am sorry, I should have given you space-“ Stolas sighs. “I thought maybe after our conversation-“

“Stolas, it’s fine. You haven’t been bothering me. I just don’t know how to communicate…that’s all.”

“I promise I’ll do better, just tell me if you need space before, and I’ll give it to you…I just-“

Blitzø was about to interrupt, but he was interested in what Stolas had to say…

“I thought maybe you were mad at me…I thought I messed up and you were upset and avoiding me.” Stolas explains.

“I wasn’t mad, okay? You were helping me.” Blitzø says.

“I tried…” Stolas says. “But, you were still so upse-“

“Stolas, we’re good! Next time I’ll tell you. I’m sorry I made you worry.” Blitzø says.

“It’s alright.” Stolas says. “I know that wasn’t your intention.”

Blitzø sighs again, he needs to get off the phone, but he doesn’t want to…

What was wrong with him?

“Would you like some assistance in finding Moxxie?” Stolas asks.

“What?” Blitzø asks.

“I asked if you needed help, I have some connections that may be useful.” Stolas offers.

Blitzø considers it, maybe he can ask Stolas’s help with the situation…

Stolas has already done too much, he can’t take advantage of him. “No, we don’t need anything, Stolas. We’re fine.”

“Keep me updated?” Stolas asks.

“Yeah.” He hangs up the phone and drops his head…

What the fuck was he going to do?

~~~Moxxie:~~~

What’s he going to do when Millie and Blitzø find him?

They are looking for him…right?

They wouldn’t just- give up.

Moxxie wanted to cry. He didn’t want them to give up. But what was the use in hoping if they’ll be rejected and cast away even if they find Moxxie.

He’ll be foced to watch as everyone he loves is taken away-

Just like before.

He felt like a child again…

He was acting like a child again…

Why can’t he just grow the fuck up and move on?

He couldn’t though… if he were anywhere else, he’d

But he felt so small, so weak.

He felt like a scared child again, he wanted his mom to help him the way she used to.

“You can’t possibly have nothing left for me.” Moxxie says to her as if she were listening somehow from beyond the grave. “You must have some words left, some guidance..”

Moxxie walks over to the window and looked to the sky.

They say Imps don’t have an afterlife- but they have to have something…right?

“What do you want me to do, mom? Please-please just tell me what to do and I’ll do it!” He begged. “You were always so good at that…”

But she doesn’t answer him…

She’s not there…

Or- or maybe she was ignoring him…

The way she used to when she was mad…

Was she mad at him? Because-

Moxxie’s mind is turned back to the cast-

“No…”

~~~Past~~~

Moxxie and his mother got back from their trip to wrath.

Crimson have got one look at the cast and flipped out. “What the fuck is this?” He asks, grabbing Moxxie’s arm.

“There was an incident. But he’s fine.” She says.

“He’s not fine! If he was fine, he wouldn’t be wearing a cast on his arm, would he?” Crimson asks.

“Relax, Crimson. He had some fun for a change.”

“That’s the last time I’m letting you take him to wrath, I didn’t sleep with you just so you could break our kid.”

“I’m breaking him? Really? He breaks his arm all the time!” She says.

“Yeah! Here, where it’s safe to do so!” Crimson says. “I don’t need him breaking it when he’s that far from home!”

Moxxie went to his room, he doesn’t want to hear his parents fight anymore.

~~~Later~~~

His mother walks into Moxxie’s room as he was drawing something in his notebook.

“Chip?”

“Yes, mama?”

“Did you have a good time?”

“The best time!” Moxxie says.

“You really liked Millie, hm?” She asks.

“Yeah, she was cool.” Moxxie says. “She told me where her house is so I can visit her next time, see?” Moxxie shows his mother a map he drew himself that went from his aunts house to Millie’s house.

“I do see.” His mother says. “That’s very impressive, Chip.”

Moxxie turns back to his notebook, finishing the details of the house.

“You know, I knew her mother Lynn in highschool. We weren’t really friends or anything, but I knew of her. They comes from a really nice family.” She says.

Moxxie smiles, but then notices his mom wasn’t…

His smile deflates. “What’s wrong, Mama?” He asks.

“Sweetie, you must promise me something: You can’t let her get caught up in this.”

“Caught up in what?” He asks.

“All this, your family. You can’t see her again, Chip.” She says. “I’m sorry, but you can’t. You’ll ruin her life.”

Moxxie’s eyes widen.

He doesn’t want to ruin Millie’s life.

“I know you’re very young, and it’s hard to understand now. But. Please promise me, Moxxie?”

“I promise…” Moxxie says.

~~~present~~~

“You can’t be mad at me about that…” he says to his mother like she was still there. Tears pour down Moxxie’s face more and more at the realization that he may have disappointed her. “No- You’re not allowed to be mad at me! Just because you couldn’t be happy doesn’t mean I don’t get to be! I needed her, it was too much to ask of me!”

Moxxie sits down on the floor and curled up to himself. “You don’t know what it was like, I was just a kid, taking care of you! Doing everything you ever asked of me- everything he asked me… I’m allowed to be selfish for once!” He says.

Did he really ruin Millie’s life like she said? Did he hurt and abandon the woman he loved?

Was she going to be okay now that Moxxie’s not there?

He wiped the tears from his eyes, and he curls up against the corner of his room.

‘Please don’t be mad at me, mama…I’m sorry.'

It was like she was leaving him all over again.

Notes:

‘Family said that I decided to live a loveless life Is it my fault we stay divided? 'Cause I got too much pride?’ ~The family Jewels, Marina and the diamonds.

~~~ Notes: I’m so sorry this took me so long. I swear I was working hard to get it done, but it wasn’t coming out the way I wanted it to.

Hopefully the hard work paid off and the chapter is decent enough.

I know this is probably not how M&M met, but I had this idea and for some reason couldn’t see it any other way…idk.

Lol lmk how you’d imagine M&M met, I got a feeling it may have been an enemies to lovers dynamic. (Or maybe I just hope that cuz’ it’s so funny to me that these perfect lovers were once enemies. Lol.)

Hope to update soon, next chapter will have more sharks. love you guys! Taglist: @todayimfour

#itty bitty imps #helluva boss age regression #helluva boss #Little!Moxxie #Helluva boss Moxxie #Helluva boss Crimson #father knows best

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greydaysandstarrynights · 11 months

Text

@dragoneyes618 didn’t ask for this one but I think she’ll enjoy this.

I have so many Quasimodo in the Descendants verse headcanons I keep forgetting to write down so here they are.

Quasi is even more horrified than Esmeralda and Phoebus are when he learns Frollo had a daughter. I’ve decided good mental healthcare is A Thing on Auradon so, he would absolutely call his therapist probably immediately for help processing all the feelings—and for tips on how best to help Claudine.

Going off my Deenie headcanobs post for a minute, he’s the first one to figure put she’s autistic—tbh film!Quasi reads as autistic to me—remind me and I’ll make a post about it—so either he picks up on it bc similarities or bc he works w/disabled kids in Auradon and can spot the signs, or my favorite, both.

One thought I’d had is that all the changes in environment, norms, people, sensory stuff, etc., pushes Claudine into the first meltdown she’s had in a literal decade at least, and Phoebus and Esmeralda call Quasi because they don’t know what to do/what’s happening/afterwards Claudine is hiding under some piece of furniture—in my head it’s the kitchen table idk why—and unable to come out, so he comes over and figures it out after like, five minutes—from being so familiar with it.

Quasi knows ASL—or Aurandon’s version—and he teaches it to Deenie because it’s helped sone of his shyer students or students who are semi verbal.

He’s the first person Deenie tells her real name to, and maybe the first person she says anything to.

As much as I love your fanfuc addressing Deenie’s self harm, I think he might be the one to figure out what she’s doing, before anyone else does, but then is conflicted. He knows he should tell someone, but he doesn’t want to undermine the trust she has in him. They might actually fight about it, because I could Deenie becoming a bit of a self righteous jerk when she gets upset/angry enough, as a defense mechanism.

He introduces her to the archdeacon/Friar Tuck and they bond.

Quasi is the one who can, eventually, help her see all the things Frollo was wrong about, because he gets where she’s coming from as far as loving Frollo as her dad/feeling defensive of him/having a hard time trusting the de Chateaupers and everyone else, etc.

She has his phone number—he’s probably the one who explained telephones LOL—and she knows she can call him whenever, day or night, and he’ll talk to her or even come pick her up if she needs a quiet place to be for a while.

He’s made her so many stained glass mobiles and she’s got them hanging everywhere. She starts sewing clothes for his Woden figurines and helping him paint them. He made a model of Aurandon and she likes looking at it because it helps her process how big it is compared to the Isle.

She stays with him and Madeleine a lot, especially when Zephyr has his friends over, because the chaos is too much. I do think being around her would be hard for Quasi at first, bc I think, just by virtue of her and Frollo being father/daughter instead of master/ servant, that she’d have picked up some of his mannerisms/ways of saying things, and I could see that being triggering.

They do some sort of animal rehab/thwraoy together and it’s adorable.

That’s all I’ve got for now but I’m sure I’ll add more.

#dragoneyes618 #claudine Frollo #Quasimodo

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oldworldwidgets · 5 days

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1-5 for teddy & 6-10 for lilah for the fallout ask meme !!!

Teddy

1. Which Fallout game are they from? New Vegas!

2. Which faction(s) did they join and which did they destroy? Why? He belongs to the Great Khans and, after he meets Arcade, the Followers. He destroys the fuck out of the NCR and the Legion. The NCR because of Bitter Springs (it was personal to him) and the Legion because fuck em.

3. What is their S.P.E.C.I.A.L.? S9, P1, E4, C9, I5, A2, L10

4. Give us a summary of their backstory. Oh great heavens. A very short summary: He was raised Mormon on an NCR ranch with his four older brothers and one younger sister. He got fed up one day, burned the ranch down (only he, his sister, and one brother survived), and became a drifter. Ran odd jobs, most of them ethically questionable bc they paid best. Eventually linked back up with his sister who pretended she didnt know him, then his brother who was in rehab with the Followers. He stayed at the Fort and was heart eyes with Arcade, but his brother was homophobic to them so Teddy left, causing his brother to OD the next day. Joined the Khans and stayed there for a few years before Bitter Springs happens. After that, he became an outlaw and basically hunted NCR with the Khans until he’s paid by the Mojave Express to deliver a pack of cards (Courier Three) and is shot by Benny (he got it wrong the first time). Events of the game happen, he pursues independent Vegas, then retires and lives a happy rancher life with Arcade afterward.

5. What’s their full name and does it have a meaning? Do they have any nicknames and how did they get em? Theodore Dawson. It doesn’t really, it just feels cowboy to me and I like the idea of a big mean man named Teddy. It does have a meaning in the context of his siblings though. Their names are Benjamin, Levi, Jacob, Noah, and Hannah; Theodore (named after his father) is the only name not found in the Bible.

He has a few “nicknames” that are just derivative of his name. When he’s young, he goes by Theo. When he’s a drifter, he goes by Dawson or Daws. After he finds his brother, he goes by Teddy (Arcade gives him the nickname). His bestie Amantis (@odd-ball-out’s courier) also calls him Bear.

Delilah

6. What’s their sexual, romantic, and gender orientation? Do they feel comfortable telling other people? She is a cis woman who is not attracted to (sexually or romantically) anyone. I guess rigidly she could be considered aroace, but really, romance is just something that she doesn’t prioritize, and sex has been completely ruined for her because she only knows how to use it to get what she wants.

7. Do they have any mental illnesses? How do they cope? Miss girl has PTSD from domestic abuse something terrible, but she copes by… uh… motions to her entire personality

8. Do they have any medical conditions? Is medicine/ treatment available for them? She is anemic, so she’s cold all the time and bleeds a lot if she gets injured, but there’s not much she can do about it in the wasteland. Just has to keep warm and avoid injury.

9. How much do they care about their outer appearance? What’s their “beauty routine”? How often do they shower/ bathe? She cares very much about her outward appearance because it’s really her bread and butter. Her whole theory of survival would be moot if she wasn’t hot enough to seduce people into giving her caps/info, buying chems from her, and underestimating her in gunfights. She doesn’t need to shower unusually often because pretty lady doesn’t like to get her hands dirty, but she maintains great hygiene for wasteland standards.

10. What do they fear the most? I don’t wanna say she’s fearless bc that’s not necessarily true, but there’s very little that phases her. She should be terrified of abandonment, but she intentionally keeps people at length so they can’t abandon her (which is… another problem entirely). Realistically, I guess the answer is that she’s most afraid of people she trusts getting angry/violent with her when she would never expect that of them.

#thank u for the ask!! <3 #sigh. i love them so much #oldworld.ocs #oc: teddy #oc: delilah

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angstysebfan · 4 years

Text

If You Love Me, Why Did You Hurt Me? 4/?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Other Avengers Mentioned: Everyone! Warnings: cursing

Summary: You dated Bucky for 5 wonderful years! You thought he was the one! Then, without reason, he ends your relationship, and gets a new girlfriend 2 days later! While you are both Avengers, you still have to see him, and his girlfriend.

Series Masterlist

You’re sitting on your bed. Staring off into space. Rehab. You couldn’t believe they were sending you to rehab. It wasn’t just for the alcohol, it was to help you deal with all the feelings. Stupid feelings.

The psychiatrist feels its because you stopped yourself from feeling any emotion when you were younger, then felt so much emotion with Bucky, that now you don’t know how to deal with it. She also feels that you have severe abandonment issues. First your parents left you when you were 3 years old. Then you were pushed from foster home to foster home. The cherry on top of all that was Bucky leaving you.

She feels that a few months in this center with daily therapy sessions, both private and group, will help you cope with all the feelings you have. You weren’t sold, but Steve and Tony promised you, your job as an Avenger will be waiting for you, when you get out. So here you are, packing that damn duffel bag again. Waiting for Tony and Steve to bring you.

“Hey, you need any help?” Natasha asked as she walking into your room.

“No, I think I got everything. Just don’t want to leave” you said, looking down to the floor, tears threatening. Natasha became your best friend when you moved in. She was like a sister more than a friend. She hated that you had been doing this to yourself these past few weeks. She sat next to you and put her arm over your shoulders.

“This will help. You know you can call me anytime. Just know that I am here for you, and that I love you.” You look up and see she also has tears in her eyes. You turn toward her and give her a hug. “I love you too, Nat”, you whispered through your tears.

You both separate, when you hear a throat clearing. Steve is standing at your door. “You ready to go?” Nodding, you grab your duffel bag, and all 3 head out of the room.

When you get down to the common room, the whole team is there. Wanda runs up and gives you a big hug. Vision pats you on the shoulder. Sam is next giving you a big hug and whispers that he will miss you, in your ear. Clint signs he loves you and gives you a hug. Tony takes your bag and heads toward the elevator. You turn around to see your friends one more time. The tears are falling down your face. “I love you all”, you say then turn and walk to the elevator.

As Steve and Tony walk you to the car outside, you hear your name being called by the one voice you didn’t expect to hear.

“Y/N! Wait!” You turn and see Bucky running towards you. Steve and Tony step up to block him from coming closer.

“No way Barnes! You have done enough!” Tony yells trying to keep the super soldier away from you.

“Please let me say one thing! Please!” Bucky says with pleading eyes. Steve looks at you. You nod.

“2 minutes Buck, that’s it”, Steve says. Bucky nods at him and walks up to you. Steve and Tony put your bag in the trunk and get into the car, giving you some privacy.

You’re looking down at the ground trying to imagine what he could possibly say.

Bucky tries to control his breathing. “Y/N, I... I am so sorry. Sorry isn’t even the word for how bad I feel. You didn’t deserve how I ended things. I was an idiot, for multiple reasons. M-Mostly for letting you go.” He says the last thing in a whisper, but you heard it.

Your head shot up. Is he for real? He breaks up with you in the worst way possible, with no reason as to why. 2 days later comes in with another girl, then when you are on your way to rehab, because of him, he tells you he regrets breaking up with you? What. The. Hell?!

“Are you fucking serious? Are you trying to hurt me more? Do you and Brittney get off on making me suffer, or something?”

“What? No! I mean it! I miss you every day. I still love you! I will regret what I did to you every day for the rest of my life.” You look at him, trying to find the lie in his words. You don’t find it. You shake your head.

“I can’t do this right now, Bucky. I have to go.” You turn and get into the car. You don’t look at him as you pull away from the compound. Your mind going 1000 miles per hour. He missed you. He regrets hurting you. He still loves you.

A part of you is so happy! The other part wants him to suffer. You figure you will see what happens after being away for a few months.

~ Time Jump- 3 months later~

You walk hand-in-hand up the driveway toward the compound. It’s been a long 3 months away, but you are so happy to be back home. Especially with your surprise!

You met Aaron while in rehab. He was in there for depression as well, and you 2 really hit it off during group therapy sessions. Soon you were spending every moment possible together. He was very supportive, and listened when you told him what happened. He said, “If you were my girl, I would never let you go.” You figured why not give a relationship a try. If he could fall for you when you are at your worst, then he will definitely love you at your best!

You enter from the elevator into the common room to see your family standing in front of a “Welcome Home” sign! You squeal as you let go of Aaron’s hand and run into a group hug. You missed them all. Even Thor came down to celebrate.

“Guys, I missed you all so much! I am so happy to finally be back home. This was the right decision, and I am so glad I did this.”

Once you all separated from the hug, you turned and reached for Aaron’s hand. “This is Aaron. He was also one of the patients at the center. He was my biggest supporter in there. We decided to try a relationship, so... he is my boyfriend!”

Everyone stopped and looked at the man standing next to you. Shocked expressions on their faces. One by one, they smiled and introduced themselves. Then you heard a thud behind you. You turned around to see Bucky, looking at you and Aaron, an unreadable expression on his face. On the ground a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

“Boyfriend? Wow!” Was all Bucky was able to say. He really had hoped that he would be able to win you back, but now he wasn’t so sure you would even give him a chance.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes, boyfriend. Aaron, this is James, my ex.” Bucky winced at your words.

Aaron looks from you to Bucky, then puts a smug grin on his face. “Oh, you’re the one? Well, all I have to say is thank you. I got a pretty great girl, because of you.”

Everyone behind you gasped. You were shocked at Aarons words, but tried to not let it show. You and Bucky just kept staring at each other. Waiting to see who will make the first move. Finally, you break first.

“Where is Brittney? I thought she would be hanging off of you, like usual.” You grab hold of Aaron’s hand as you say this, rolling your eyes.

Bucky just stared at you. “We broke up. W-Was never going to work out. I’m meant to be with someone else” Bucky said. Blushing you have to break the eye contact. But you can’t help but notice the little butterflies in your stomach at his words.

“Well.. I am sorry to hear about that.” You turn and look at your team and then at Aaron. “I think we are going to go unpack in my room before we head over to Aaron’s new place.

“We made dinner for you y/n/n” Nat says hopefully. “Please stay.”

You look at Aaron, who shrugs at you. You look back at the team, and then at Bucky, who looks down somewhat defeated. “I guess we can eat first.”

Dinner was fun. It had been so long since you ate with your team. You really missed your family. You sat in between Aaron and Nat. Bucky, unfortunately sat directly across from you. Every time you snuck a glance, he was staring at you. It unnerved you, slightly. But it also made those stupid butterflies flutter in your stomach.

Aaron was amazing. Answered every question and took every threat about hurting you in stride. After dinner, you both went up to your room.

“Sorry about my friends, they are just really protective, especially after what happened”, you say as you put your clothes in their proper drawer. Aaron comes up from behind and wraps his arms around your waist. “I don’t mind. I enjoyed it actually. I like that they care.”

He starts kissing your neck, which surprises you. You haven’t been touchy in your relationship, you are not sure how you feel about it. You turn around in his arms and peck him on the cheek to get him to stop.

“You ready to head to your place?” You ask. He continues to look down at you with a soft look in his eyes. Slowly his head starts moving towards yours, while stroking your cheek. You are unsure if you are ready for this or not, but by the time you make up your mind, his lips are on yours.

Your whole body tenses as he moves his lips against yours. He seems to be completely oblivious to your awkwardness. You try to tell yourself to relax, but your body won’t listen. Then you feel his tongue swipe your bottom lip, and you quickly push away.

“Sorry. I guess I’m not ready to go down that road yet” you say anxiously. You are afraid to look at him, that he might be angry. He cups your chin and forces your to look into his eyes. He still has a very soft expression.

“Don’t worry. We will go at your pace. I promise. I will never make you do something you don’t want to.” You smile, and hug him.

Bucky is sitting up on the roof, drinking a beer. He keeps thinking of how you acted towards him tonight. He thought he might have a very small chance of working it out with you, but he sees that chance getting smaller now that you have that guy.

Bucky needed every ounce of control to not punch that guy out, after what he said. And he kept touching you during dinner. Bucky kept seeing red every time. You are his girl. Well, you were his girl, before he fucked it all up.

Bucky hears the door open, and hopes to whatever god is up there that it’s you. As usual, he is disappointed to find his best friend standing in front of him, instead of you.

“You alright Buck?” Steve walks over and sits in the chair next to Bucky. Concern in his bright blue eyes. “You haven’t said much since Y/N came home.”

Bucky takes another swig of his beer, not looking at his friend. “Oh, I’m just great. Nothing like seeing all hope I had of fixing this get washed down the drain when I saw her walk in with that douche.”

“Yeah, I don’t really like the guy either. Don’t trust him, I don’t know why. But honestly pal, I don’t know how much hope you had with her anyway.” Bucky looked at Steve.

“I know I fucked everything I had up, as usual. I honestly didn’t mean for anything to happen. I bought a ring, I was going to propose. What the hell is wrong with me?” Bucky stares off into the distance.

Steve gets up and pats Bucky on the back. “You got scared of being happy. It’s not an excuse for what you did, but it’s still the truth.”

Bucky sniffs, holding back tears. “I told you everything that happened between Brittney and I. What would you have done? I would have broken her heart, if she knew what happened. She would have left me! I don’t know if I could have taken it.”

“So instead, not only did you break her heart, you broke her completely. Buck, I know what you are saying, but be honest. You were protecting you, not her.” Steve shakes his head and starts walking back toward the door. He stops and turns toward Bucky again.

“I would have told her the truth. If she ended it, you might have had a fighting chance to win her back. I don’t like who she is with, but right now, she is the happiest she has been in months. Just let her be happy, please. If you love her, leave her alone.”

With that Steve leaves the roof. Bucky looks back at the door, tears going down his face. Steve is right. He was scared of getting hurt, so he hurt you first. You may never trust him again, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to fight for you.

Chapter 3 Chapter 5

Not sure how I like this chapter, but I’m interested to see where this goes. Let me know what you think!

#bucky x y/n #bucky fanfic #bucky angst #bucky x reader #bucky fic

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trikxx · 3 years

Text

Song for this chapter

•just might - summer walker

• rehab winter in paris - brent faiyaz

"𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 shows canceled in a row what am I supposed to do Ceaira?!" Y/n said through the phone.

"Idk bubs i'd help you if I could but I can't this time we made a promise." "I just need ideas on another way of income Cee thats it." Y/n responded

"What about OnlyFans."

"What."

"OnlyFans. You can use your old skills and do only fans."

"Bitch the only old skill I have is stripping-" y/n stopped to think. "Boom. There you have it. And you have everything you need already so whats the issue?" Cearia said.

"What if my manager finds out?" Y/n asked. "Well lets ask him." Cearia says.

My manager. Carlos Cre. Cearia's boyfriend. Im mean yea he probably wouldn't give two fucks about me having a OnlyFans. Its mostly my rep thats on the line.

"Yoo!" Carlos said. "So Y/n wants to know if she can have a OnlyFans since ya know the income is getting low." Cearia says. " i mean yea its her life."

"Really?" "Yea, do you just don't ya know get hurt."

____

"Ok, wait thats it? That was quick." I say to my self. I walk to my room I used to practice in but now use to relieve stress. "What should I put on for my first post?" I ended up putting on a bunny outfit.

And some clear heels. I set my camera up, started recording and started my music.

____

Y/n slow walked to the pole grabbing it and walking around it. Then she jumped a little putting one leg the pole and leaning back while turning one leg and one arm holding onto the pole.

_____

Y/n ended in a split at the bottom of the pole. She the paused the music and stopped the recording.

*Incoming call from Taleé*

Heyyy Y/n!

Hey Tal

Im good what about you?

Good just a little stressed about work.

We all are right now. With no shows there's not really a lot of income for us.

Yea. Cee told me about that one site called OnlyFans.

Are you gonna do it?

I might im still debating tho and Carlos said it was ok.

DING

Hey Tal im gonna call you back.

Ok talk to you later babe.

*call ended*

I threw on some sweats and a white tee and walked to my door slightly opening it to a red haired male standing outside heavily breath. "Dud- oh shit im sorry i think have the wrong apartment." He said. I noticed that he was bleeding from his side. "Its o- hey are you ok?" I yelled as the male fell to the ground.

Not having enough time to pull him into the apartment. I quickly knelt down next to him and hovered my hands over his wound.

White speckles formed around us forming a shield. Making us invisible to the human eye.

___

The male's eye fluttered open realizing he was in a unknown room. He was laying in a soft bed under a weighted cover. "Wait my clothes." He whispered.

The boy got from under the cover noticing he had on some black sweat pants that fit perfectly. He walked out the dark room with his guard up not knowing where he was. He heard music coming from a room which had colorful lights beaming out of it.

As he got closer to the door he could clearly hear what the song was saying "yea, I just might be a hoe." He heard a voice sing along with the music.

"Oh Hey, your woke." The girl said before he could get close to the door. "I know that your a hero red riot but can I get your actual name since ya know...I saved your life."

"You did? And is this your house?" He said. "Yes now name?" "Ok it's Ejirou Kirishima. Just call me Kirishima though." Kirishima says. Y/n nodded her head "My name is y/n." She continued and walked past him to the kitchen. "Hungry?"

"Uh yes kinda." Kirishima continued to look around the apartment. "Want a tour?" "Huh?" "I said do you want a tour of the apartment." Y/n repeated.

"Uh sure but did you happen to see my phone in my hero suit?" Kirishima asked "Yes its in the room you were in."

"Thanks." Kirishima said walking to go get his phone.

*10 missed calls*

5 unread messages

Bakubro💪: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU SHITTY HAIR!

Bakubro💪: DAMMIT KIRI YOU BETTER NOT HAVE GOTTEN CAPTURED.

Bakubro💪: ANSWER MY DAMN TEXT.

Kirishima: Sorry Bakubro I went to the wrong place and passed out from blood loss but when I woke up I was healed and in someone's house.

Bakubro: Its about time you answered. Send me your location im coming to you.

Kirishima: ok *location*

*Two unread messages*

Karma.: Kiri are you ok. Bakugo told me you weren't answering.

Karma.: Kirishima. This is serious just answer me this one time. for bakugo.

Kirishima❤️: im ok and i already texted Bakugo

Karma.: ok thank you babe💗.

*read*

___

Kirishima scoffs. "was she really his last resort or did she just know because of her quirk." He said to himself before coming out of the room. "Ok you can start." " ok this is the kitchen..obviously."

"This is nice." Kirishima said. "Thank you. Now heres the living room."

"Mmm." "Ok, so of course the room you were in."

"Mhm." "Guest bathroom."

"When we are done you can shower and have not there is clothes the will probably fit you in the closet in the room. Follow me up the stairs."

Kirishima makes a "o" with his mouth as we go up the stairs to my room and bathroom. "My room."

"And you live by yourself?" Kirishima asked. "Kinda. My friend stays over a lot so the guest room is kind of her room." "Mhm." "My bathroom."

"You must really love marble walls." Kirishima said with a small chuckle. "Yea."

"What about the room you were in earlier?" He asked. "Oh that, its nothing just chill room." "Can i see it?" "He Uhh.."

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

"OPEN UP RIGHT NOW UNKNOWN BASTARD!"

Y/n looked a Kirishima with an irritated look. "Do you know who that is?" Y/n said walking down the stairs. "Uh yea thats my best friend he's also a hero."

"He seems like a fucking hothead. He got issues?" Y/n said. Kirishima nodded "ok" y/n says swinging the front door open. "Would you keep it the fuck down other people live in this fucking building." Y/n said. The man looked in amusement. "W-WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU TALKING TO!" He yelled again. Y/n look him in his eyes and shut the door.

She turn to a surprised Kirishima. "I'll show the room if you tell your guard dog to back down." Y/n said. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY EXTRA!" The male yelled through the door.

"Ok."

Kirishima opens the door. "Bakugo calm down. She saved my life." Bakugo rolled his eyes and walked in taking his shoes off. "Need some water or tea after all that yelling?" The girl said. "I'll take some water." Bakugo said. "There's some room temp waters in the counter and cold ones in the fridge. I recommend the warm ones to ease the pain."

Y/n motioned for Kirishima to follow her. "Ok. I don't really care if you judge me it's just a at home hobbie.

(I depth about the room. Its like this but smaller and it has more lights and a pole i front of a mirror. There are silks and the hoops but its only one of each. Also theres a curtain in between that side and a side with a small couch and a desk with a computer and etc.)

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU." Y/n yelled. Bakugo looked scared. "YOU CANT JUST GO OPENING SHIT YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS OPENING STUPID MOTHERFUCKER!" "I-I'm sorry."

"don't apologize. just leave. Kirishima you hero outfit is in the closet in the guest room." Y/n said in a calm voice.

____

"Hey y/n can i get you number before I-" Kirishima was cut off by a piece of paper being shoved at his chest. "Here."

"Thank you." Kirishima said walking to the door. "Thank you for saving me."

1437 words

Yooo. Next chapter date is TBD.

��Y/n doesn't want many people to know her past. Only Cearia, Carlos, and Santana know.

•When Bakugo saw y/n his heart kinda fluttered but he didn't know what to do so he kept yelling.

•y/n has a second quirk that almost lost control after what Bakugo did.

Fav emoji? Heres mine 😗.

✰L O V E Y A B E B E S✰

#mha kirishima #mha x reader #kirishima eijirou #kirishima x you #kirishima x y/n #bnha kirishima #bnha eijiro kirishima

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sgmwesters · 3 years

Photo

╰ ❛ 💉 — › michael b jordan. cis male. he/him. . ╯ have you met benjamin morgan yet ? this thirty five year old sagittarius has been living in the seattle area for three days. he makes a living as an otolaryngology (ent) attending, which is best suited for their protective, empathetic, conflicted, and irrational personality. take me to church by hozier is one of their favorite songs, and they’re written by em, 25, gmt, she/her, no triggers

B A S I C I N F O R M A T I O N

full name: benjamin joseph morgan.

nickname(s): ben, bj in college.

age: thirty four (34).

date of birth: 26 november 1985, sagittarius.

hometown: manhattan, new york.

current location: seattle, washington.

ethnicity: african-american..

nationality: american citizen.

gender: cis male.

pronouns: he/him.

orientation: ??? idek why i even include this at this point???

religion: atheist.

political affiliation: democrat.

occupation: otolaryngology (ent) attending.

living arrangements: lives alone.

language(s) spoken: english, german.

accent: none.

P H Y S I C A L A P P E A R A N C E

face claim: michael b. jordan.

hair color: black.

eye color: brown.

height: 6 ft 1.

weight: 188lbs.

build: athletic.

tattoos: none.

piercings: none.

clothing style: scrubs, smart casual otherwise.

usual expression: fairly stern, but he’s a softy deeeeeeep down.

distinguishing characteristics: dimples.

H E A L T H

physical ailments: torn rotator cuff in high school has left his shoulder somewhat fucked.

neurological conditions: none.

allergies: bee and wasp stings.

sleeping habits: fairly good sleep hygiene, sleeps well provided nothing is bothering him (maddie).

eating habits: usually fairly healthy, likes to look after himself.

exercise habits: as above, likes to look after himself.

emotional stability: sits happily at a seven, but has been known to dip in times of stress or emotional turmoil.

sociability: very sociable, likes to be around people.

body temperature: warm.

addictions: none.

drug use: none and is very against its use.

alcohol use: enjoys a drink, but doesn’t need it.

P E R S O N A L I T Y

positive traits: protective, empathetic

negative traits: conflicted, irrational

fears: not being able to keep maddie safe and healthy.

F A V O U R I T E S

weather: is indifferent about the weather.

colour: navy.

music: something with a heavy beat.

movies: the godfather.

sport: boxing.

beverage: fruit smoothie, bourbon.

food: hot dogs.

animal: anything small, soft, and fluffy.

H E A D C A N O N S

benjamin was born as the only child to regina and david morgan, a museum curator and ceo respectively in manhattan.

benjamin was raised in close proximity to his cousin madeleine spencer, to the extent where benjamin considers maddie to be more like a sibling to him than a cousin. this came from both of their parents busy schedules and similar lifestyles which led him to be brought up in this manner.

benjamin would like to think that his parents were happily married, but it was only as he got older that he realised the family set up that he had grown up with as a child wasn’t the same as everyone else’s. nevertheless, he figured that it worked for them as it was, and he still considers himself to have had a good childhood.

spending as much time in the spencer household as he did, benjamin sparked a genuine interest in medicine, looking up to his uncle, madeleine’s father, as a role model and idol for his future career in medicine.

benjamin was athletic in school, actively taking part in boxing and baseball. he hoped from early on in high school that he would be able to get into a good school on a baseball scholarship so he wouldn’t need to focus as hard on his studies, but a torn rotator cuff in his sophomore year quickly killed that dream, and he came to the quick conclusion that he had to get his head in the books.

as much as he would hate to admit it, he knew that his parents pulled a few strings when it came to his offers for college, but the decision ultimately came down to him. during this time he had watched madeleine begin to spiral out of control, the concern for his cousin and arguably best friend only growing with each day that passed.

it was during this time that benjamin turned down the offer from harvard that his father had swindled for him, choosing instead to stay closer to the city in order to be nearby while madeleine got the help she had promised her parents she would get.

he was thankful for this decision as the realisation that she hadn’t been getting help came about following amelia shepherd’s overdose. while madeleine was in rehab, benjamin made a point of visiting her as much as he could, skipping classes if he needed to to make sure that she felt supported. she was basically his kid sister after all.

as madeleine got clean, benjamin took the mcats, scoring high enough to be accepted into john’s hopkins off his own back this time. as madeleine was seemingly doing well, benjamin decided to move that little bit further out, knowing he would be close enough if she needed him to return.

it was during this time that the two established their bi-weekly phone calls, no excuses allowed, his way of keeping an eye on her completely.

benjamin moved that little bit further for his residency to mayo, just as madeleine moved to switzerland for her masters. it made sense, he was happy for her and continued to adjust his schedule to make sure their phone calls went ahead as they needed to, suiting her schedule over his.he would often stay awake until the early hours of the morning just to speak to her.

his residency was fairly smooth sailing, despite a period of switching between services as he was indecisive about what specialty he was going to go into. he had always had his heart set on cardio like his uncle, but it only took one case with the ent attending to have him hooked.

as he came to the end of his fellowship, he debated the idea of having a second specialty (he’s a bit of a show off like that), but a nagging feeling inside of him told him something more important was coming.

his calls with madeleine weren’t like they used to be, years of regularity and consistency seemed to be falling apart, with nothing that he could do from where he was. he wanted to believe that this was part of the recovery, that she didn’t need him the way she used to, but he couldn’t be certain.

the night of amelia’s intervention, benjamin received a frantic phone call from madeleine and he knew then that things were not good. whether she was high or just drunk he couldn’t have been certain at first, it was only as she spoke about everybody leaving her the he snapped into action. she’d fallen off the wagon, and he’d be damned if he was going to stand by and let it happen.

benjamin packed a bag and hopped on the first plane to seattle, ready to hold an intervention of his own if he needs to. as far as he is concerned he’s here for maddie and nothing else.

2 0 2 1 U P D A T E S

turned thirty five cos that’s how birthdays work !!

after maddie decided to get clean, benjamin went with her to new york to ensure she fully embarked on her recovery. as much as seattle had only meant to have been a means to an end for benjamin, he found himself wanting to return.

he’s been keeping a low profile at the hospital, but is just kinda keeping things ticking over. he’s still ben.

W A N T E D C O N N E C T I O N S / P L O T S

i know i say they all deserve love but really ben deserves love

friends from med school/residency!!!

#━━ ✦ 𝐁𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐀𝐍 ❮ biography ❯#newintros

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daisychvins · 3 years

Text

｡･ﾟﾟ･ — introduction.

introducing ... violet’s demise ! aka grayson aka her big brother she’s been wiring money to stay away in europe <33333

name: grayson swag money jeon age: 22 turning 23 (don’t ask me about his sign that’s for liza to figure out someday <3) gender: cis male; he/him hometown: baltimore, maryland sexuality: bisexual & biromantic

listen i was feeling rlly committed to completing his stats but i’m already over it so don’t ask dont tell xx anYWAYS let’s get on to the juicy stuff hehe

i tend to ramble a lot so this intro is gonna be probably a mixture of paragraphs and bullet points and everything in between but let’s start simple. also i rlly wanna emphasize a massive DRUGS TW bc his character largely revolves around his interest in and addiction to drugs

blackmails

grayson is claiming that he's been in a rehab program for the last year and is now completely sober and reformed when he really was just using the money to party and travel throughout europe.

without his parents paying to support him now, he's had to start dealing to make ends meet and keep up appearances. it’s mostly coke, but he dabbles in harder substances depending on what his connections can get him.

grayson dabbles with calligraphy and was notorious for forging excuse notes and parent signatures all throughout high school and even now sells forgeries for a quick buck. the most notable of these was xavi’s letter of recommendation that helped him get into yale.

background

grayson is violet’s older brother!!1 yes, that’s right, THE big brother who’s been out of the country getting LIT (and by lit i mean he’s been traveling europe on a series of solo trips w his parents’ money and doin lots of recreational drugs)

i haven’t fully fleshed out the dynamic he has w his parents but just know it’s ,, bad ASDHFJNK basically the jeons treated their children like accessories and expected them to be their little trophies and grayson just was not having that as a kid!!! so he acted out a lot and obviously got himself into a pretty bad scene (thank u goosie) and is basically the bane of his parents existence at this point <3 yet they still try to appease him to keep him under control but that’s for the family task to work out hehehehe

despite hating his parents, he adores both of his siblings. before the drug use started, he was always a big nurturer and would have done anything for either of them......now he wouldn’t be caught dead praising violet but he loves her in secret from afar HSJDFKG

yeah basically he met goose when he was around 15 i think????? and got introduced to drugs around 16 or 17 i wanna say and by the time he graduated high school he was just....a much different person than the soft big brother he used to be. his parents sent him off to europe pretty much as soon as he turned 18 under the guise of going to school internationally, but grayson obviously knew the truth and understood that he was being sent away so he wouldn’t be his parents problem anymore.

he basically spent the last four years galavanting europe and just....trying to enjoy it???? but it’s hard to enjoy an extended vacation when u have no family or friends on ur side anymore </3 he basically used the money to stay in hostels and worked odd jobs here and there to stay afloat and keep supplied w the...special goods....but yeah lots of drugs, alcohol, sex, and recklessness but he DID learn a couple languages??? or at least enough to get through some pretty basic conversations in most european countries so <3 guess it’s all okay then!!!!

anyways idk what else to put here that u won’t just find out in the family task so uhhhhhh idk lmk if u need anything else i guess

present/personality

so now grayson is just vibing at yale obviously ummm he actually got super into writing after high school, especially poetry. he used to carry journals full of just random prose about his addiction and his deepest thoughts, as well as probably some lighter stuff about his love escapades or maybe goose idk...basically he used poetry as an outlet and it allowed him to really ground himself and find his place in the world even if it didnt include who he thought it would SO with that being said, grayson got into yale due to a poetry competition he was a part of. he saw some big fancy competition being advertised and on a whim decided to submit some poem about his struggles with addiction and losing his family (a v raw piece that he didn’t expect to ever see the light of day) and he actually ended up winning! it caught yale’s attention and they invited him to apply and, knowing how much it would probably disturb his little sister, grayson very smugly applied and was pretty stoked to see he got in

because that poem gained such publicity, it was assumed that he was a survivor of addiction and was writing from a sober perspective. he didn’t want to correct anyone, so he just went with it and has basically crafted this story about his massive success and has become an advocate for addiction treatment and rehabilitation. of course, none of the companies that sponsor him or the events that host him as a motivational speaker know that he’s snorting lines in the bathroom beforehand or dealing to half the elites, but that’s between grayson, god, and the blackmailer !

basically grayson showed back up because of violet’s blackmail being exposed. he was off in europe, unable to defend himself, and with a massive vendetta against his family so he decided what better way to reenter society than by publicly outing himself as a martyr <3333 his plan is basically to bash the family name to fulfill whatever angsty coming of age arc he has in store for him to make up for the pain of being sent away .... really angsty yeah </3 rip grayson

anyways yeah he’s a total fake. he’s been using his status as a martyr to his advantage a lot, the best example being his recruitment into the elites. he guilted them into accepting him by discussing the PR benefits of recruiting a member that struggles with addiction and how supporting addiction treatment and second chances would be such a good look for them. like he basically threatened to publicly expose them for denying him due to his troubled past and accuse them of being exclusionary so they said boop ! ur in. now the elites are proud advocates for second chances <3333

i would describe grayson as fearless, overconfident, infamous due to his condition being exposed recently, a little gloomy, he’s kind of just got this chip on his shoulder and feels like he has something to prove....he’s gotta be better than his parents, gotta stick it to them and to violet and to everyone who doubts him. he’s a grumpy guy with a massive vendetta and a need for some kind of justice. he just doesn’t know what that is yet. despite all of the bad, however, he’s genuinely a pretty good guy. he’s really goofy and a genuine person, pretty friendly with literally everyone until they give him a reason not to be. basically, unless you are a member of the jeon family he probably likes you or is at least cordial to you (unless we plot differently ofc but u know). he’s just a big lovable dummy with some sweet drug connects and a knack for poetry. he also knows calligraphy but that’s beside the point .

idk if this is enough to describe him but yeah if u have any questions just let me know hehe

this is probably gonna make things hard but considering violet was just exposed i think that he’s pretty new to yale ???? like probably just transferred in/started this spring semester rather than being here for the entire year/a prolonged amount of time so most of our plots will likely have to be newer/center on him first showing up OR we can establish their connections from pre-europe which is also fine w me....idk i didnt rlly think this timeline through so let’s just plot and see what happens aghbfjnd anyways i included some connection ideas to help us all just in case

wanted connections

i’d say he’s the honorary dealer of the elites aghbdfjn so literally anyone who needs a plug could be a potential connection. we can obviously tweak this and customize it to each character <3

maybe someone who met grayson in europe. they could have travelled together for an extended period of time or even just a brief encounter. he was over there for four years, so the possibilities are endless.

building off the last one, this same connection could work with a romantic interest. maybe they were romantically involved for a time in europe and fell out of touch or maybe grayson/your muse just left in the middle of the night and they never saw each other again until now and maybe there’s some unresolved feelings/one-sided longing or need for closure. it could also be that they just hooked up whenever this person was in the area and that was that, no strings attached.

maybe someone who genuinely believes that grayson is actually sober and really admires his strength and idk maybe they’re struggling w their own issues and seek advice from him or maybe they just make it harder for him to actually do his thing bc they’re constantly around and it’s not like they can catch him strung out and acting up

someone in the literature department or with a background in english or writing. someone he could read poetry to, or share his favorite lines with. someone who’s taken the same professors and can tell him who to watch out for or what to expect. idk i just want him to have someone to share his passions with. maybe a little crush is forming? maybe they’re just friends who share a love of fiction? idk i’m open to literally anything

he’s sort of a motivational speaker now bc he advocates for rehabilitation resources and stuff so like maybe ur muse saw him give a presentation or participate in some kind of seminar and they called bullshit on him after the show bc they were like,,, bro i literally saw u partying w max and avery last weekend what the fuck are u on about and now they could potentially hold that blackmail over his head hehe......

exes plots are always fun we love angst in this house

fuck it let’s bring another family member BHJFNGKM no but grayson rlly is a nurturing guy and like....definitely develops unhealthy attachments to cope w his loss of family so he’d love all the sibling-like bonds he can get to kinda numb the pain of “””””losing””””” violet

if none of these interest you i’m literally so down for anything pls just let me know and i’m happy to brainstorm always <333333

thank u for reading this....smooch .

#anyways this is just under 1900 words whoops #stream of consciousness wins again #intro #literally dont even have my tags sorted yet dont talk to me .

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yourcasualfangirl · 4 years

Text

Aaron and Kaytlyn Minyard-

This is gonna be a long one strap in.

Tw// self harm, suicide, drug abuse, war

Rosie Minyard:

- Rosie Minyard was born in Hawaii to a different name and a different family.

- When she was 5 her parents were murdered. It’s as simple as that. And she was taken.

- there’s a lot of speculation about what actually happened and god if she knows

- but where she goes after that is what’s mattered.

- she’s sold to the biggest human trafficking ring in North America.

- for years she gets bought and sold and it’s all she ever knows.

- it gets busted when she’s 12 and she gets out.

- she’s rushed to a hospital in New York but she refuses to be treated, nobody can get close enough before she starts screaming and fighting

- she’s so traumatized she can’t speak, even if she could she doesn’t speak much English.

- she’s malnourished and beaten and has so many scars you couldn’t even begin to count, the most noticeable one from her right eyebrow to somewhere below her collar

- enter Aaron Minyard

- he recognizes that look in her eye, he saw it when he first met Jean and a car alarm went off, when he first saw kevin after leaving the nest, when Andrew had a bad day, when he saw Neil for the first time after Baltimore

- so he asks if he can look after her, eventually the doctors give in, there’s nothing they can do anyway

- so he sits with her, he doesn’t speak and neither does she. For days, neither of them talk, he comes in when his shift starts and leaves when it’s over

- then he does start talking, he talks to her about anything and everything, he takes to calling her ‘Rosie’ after some of the flowers that were dropped off

- one day he comes in and she’s sitting where he normally does, he asks if he can sit with her and she nods, he asks if he can give her a quick check up, make sure she’s okay, and she nods

- she doesn’t let anyone else touch her, doesn’t let anyone else near her

- and then they find out her name, the first time someone says it to her she starts screaming again, she try’s to run

- Aaron’s the only one who can calm her down, he calls her Rosie until she falls asleep

- that night she tries to kill herself

- Aaron’s the one who stops her, coming in to bring her food, kaytlyns with him

- right then and there’s kaytlyn knows nobody else is going to take her home. She knows it’s gotta be them, so she asks Aaron that night, if they can foster her

- Aaron just looks at her for a moment before he starts crying. He says yes of course and she’s theirs within the month

- the next year is hard, it’s so goddamn hard but they never give up on her

- they help her through her nightmares and therapy, they hold her when she doesn’t remember where she is and thought someone hurt them

- she starts talking about six months in, slowly but surely. She doesn’t speak a lot, it’s just something that’s really hard for her so they learn sign.

- but Rosie does get better, nightmares become less frequent, and god do the foxes love her

- her and Andrew get along easily and quickly, with long silences and hesitant signing (Andrew learned when Aaron did)

- sometimes Andrew and Jean feel like the only ones who could ever understand

- the first time she calls Aaron ‘da’ is when she’s hysterically crying. She woke up not knowing where she was, kaytlyn was working the night and Aaron was asleep. She ran to the living room, though she knew where she was it wasn’t registering. Aaron went downstairs to see what all the fuss was and she was in the backyard.

- she collapsed and cried and begged him to never leave her, when she called him ‘da’ he cried too

- it hurt to see her in so much pain

- when she was 16 she attempted suicide again, the memories being too much

- she had to get institutionalised for a little while and Aaron and Kaytlyn were there every step of the way

- she got better. Really better. It took a while and it was hard but she did. The foxes helped and though she was never able to fully talk about what happened to her, she was never able to have sex without the panic coming back, she was okay again.

Aristotle Minyard:

- the second Aaron saw him he knew what had happened to this boy

- kaytlyn had been the one to propose another kid, Rosie was 13 now and when they asked her about it she had been so excited

- so they went to their local orphanage (idk how it works don’t come at me)

- Aristotle Minyard was born to a different name and different family

- he grew up in a trailer park in southern New Mexico, he barely spoke English

- he had track marks all down his arms and was too skinny for it to be genetics

- he couldn’t look people in the eye and couldn’t stand still

- when Aaron had tried to talk to him he almost started crying.

- they asked what had happened to him and it went like this:

- born and raised in New Mexico, abusive druggie parents who used whatever they had as a substitute for the ADHD meds that Ari needed. Nobody knew the full extent of what had happened

- Kate knew then and there that that boy was going to be theirs.

- the thing was, he came as a packaged deal

- when they asked him if he’d be okay staying for a while he refused, he refused to go anywhere without ‘Lil’

- nobody knew who that was

- eventually he lead them to the detention room where the kids who start fight go, he pointed to the only girl in the room

- a small middle eastern girl who looked as if she wanted to rip the heads off everyone there

- apparently she had been protecting him since the second he got there

- so Aaron and Kate made the decision and took them both home

- it took a while for Ari to come out of his cage but they soon realized everytime they called him by his birth name it got worse, he was back to being the helpless little boy who let him mum poke needles in his arms

- so they asked him what he wanted to be called, and he remembered a man his grandmother used to talk about ‘Aristotle’ now he didn’t really know who that was but the name was cool so he stuck with it

- and he was Aristotle Minyard, he stopped repressing his ADHD because he soon learned in this house it doesn’t mean pain, it doesn’t mean no food

- it took a while and some therapy but eventually he was himself again, the himself he never got to be before Aaron and Kaytlyn

- he never called his parents mum and dad, he never really called them anything so moving those titles to Aaron and Kaytlyn felt like reclaiming who he was and who he wanted to be

- because those names menat love and for the first time ever he felt it

- of course Ari had his bad days, days when the cravings were so bad he felt like he was dying but Aaron was always there

- he helped him through all of it

- the first time Ari touched Aaron’s own track marks and then his Aaron didn’t know what to do, but when Ari quietly whispered ‘we match’ and Aaron hugged him until they both felt okay again. Aaron cried to Kate all night

- he relapsed when he was 17. It was bad. It was really really bad. Ever seen beautiful boy?? Yeah it went like that. His birth parents were trying for custody. He had to go to court and everything and it was so damn hard even Aaron felt the urge

- but after that, when he got out of rehab and saw his parents and fox family again he knew he had a reason to keep fighting, though the drugs didn’t want him to see it

- Jack day and Aristotle Minyard were the best of best friends that ever were. Everyone was convinced they were dating (despite ari being straight), they went everywhere together, they loved each other so damn much and jack helped Ari out of the darkest of times

- he and Nicky speak Spanish together and gossip and talk shit constantly, he and Nicky are like best friends and everyone’s so confused

Lilith Minyard:

- Lilith Minyard was born in a war. She was born in fighting and battle but never thought she would see the middle of it

- and then she did.

- her village was bombed when she was six, the children were rounded up and taken

- she was forced to be a soldier

- she watched children die, she watched families die, she even killed

- it was that or death. She watched her brother refuse, she then watched them cut off his legs and leave him to die. She had to survive.

- when she was 13 she immigrated to America (that thing where you come to the country because if you go back to yours you’ll die)

- she was put into foster care where she met Ari, a small boy on the other end of people’s cruel ness, she watched him allow people to keep bullying him so she stuck with him, she stuck with him and protected him

- she didn’t really have morals anymore, she didn’t know right from wrong, she didn’t know if she cared to learn anymore

- she was much like Andrew in that sense. She couldn’t care less what happened to her, she had no regard for her own life but once she found someone worth protecting it was all that mattered

- when Ari got adopted she went with him

- she didn’t trust Aaron or Kate, any amount of kindness could be a set up, could be a trick

- she might be young but she had seen things they could only imagine

- they made her start therapy, she didn’t talk. She could deal with the nightmares. She could deal with the PTSD. She could do it all herself and didn’t need anyone.

- she slowly started protecting Rosie too.

- she would be lying if she said she wasn’t growing fond of some of the foxes (neil and Renee)

- she had a smart mouth of her own too, her and Neil would get going at it and it would be quite the show

- she never let her guard down though

- Aaron and Kate did what they could but she just wouldnt let them in

- until one night, Ari and Rosie were at Jacks, she had stayed home

- the nightmares were bad, really really bad

- she woke up in a cold sweat and didn’t know where she was

- she walked down stairs so quietly you wouldn’t even know she was awake

- Aaron and Kate were in the kitchen

- she was still at war, she felt it in her bones

- she grabbed katelyn from behind and held her in a headlock, seconds away from snapping her neck

- it took a while to talk her down, to show her she was safe, that her mind was playing tricks on her

- she was yelling in Arabic which nobody knew, and then she was crying too

- they didn’t sleep that night, and the next day Lilith actually talked in therapy

- and the next time someone asked ‘which Minyard? The psycho or the murderer’ she punched them in the face because that was her family

- she was the only one who could take Andrew and Renee in a fight and beat them both

- she was so angry, violence a first nature for her, it took her a while to make it come second, it took her even longer to be able to come to terms the fact that she did need help

- she came out when she was 16, she did so by responding to kaytlyns ‘any cute boys at school?’ question over dinner with ‘ew no but plenty of girls’

- she ended up dating dan and Matt’s daughter

- she chose her name when she first came to America after she heard the story of Adam and Eve, she decided she wanted to be like Lilith

- she’s form Iran btw

All of them:

- they all play exy: Rosie is goalkeeper, Ari dealer and Lilith striker

- they asked Aaron and Kate to properly adopt them when they were 15, they threw a little party

- they help each other, a lot

- so much trauma in one house oml

- also so many languages, German and English with aaron, Arabic and English with Lilith, hawaiian and English for Rosie and Spanish and English with Ari

#aftg #all for the game #aaron minyard #andrew minyard #dan wilds #matt boyd #neil josten #allison reynolds #renee walker #kevin day

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ajoblotofjunk · 4 years

Text

I was going through my first outline for HFoG and wow that is some wild shit. It was so different! For fun I thought I’d share some of it so you can see where it veered dramatically off course.

The first couple of chapters are the same, the first differences really start in March.

March (Yr 1) - Two weeks later in mid-March is first race - Did you declare the oil?/Of course I did, gods, Jaime, I know what I'm doing. /I saw you studying the regs again.; pit stop argument, etc.; Early pit stop, Jaime thinks they're too slow, is watching the racers pacing him, zooms off a bit too soon and Brienne is FURIOUS with him for putting them in danger, they have a huge fight and it's the first time he backs off a little and apologizes. She says 'if you do it again, I'm done.' I promise I won't. 'There has to be trust, Lannister.' 'Jaime's shorter, you know. You'd save a whole syllable. Could be critical in the pit.' She rolls her eyes. 'Fine. Jaime.'; Brienne in response makes Jaime learn how to stop exactly where he needs to; she stands in front, knowing he'll hit her if she doesn't trust him. I'll be the front jack. He makes a comment and she's like “this is serious, Jaime.” He swallows and nods by her use of his name. “Okay then. Let's practice.” He's still wounded from his team betraying him, he doesn't trust them, but he trusts Brienne. (This is all between the preseason and first race)

(Ed. note:That thing about the syllables shows up in the wedding night sex as my own personal shoutout TO MYSELF because I always loved that line and it never made it into the fic in the end and I’m an enormous dork.)

May (Yr 1) – Bronn places dye in Jaime's gloves so when he shakes hands they're blue (but Jaime laughs, he's the happiest he's been in years, he's driving loose and confident and reckless but he's winning for now); Martyn's payment comes due & almost fucks up Brienne (he's on tire duty, he is slow on the pneumatic during a practice and asks for her help and she comes over and he releases it as she's going for it and it almost breaks her wrist. It's obvious he did it purposefully and the crew swarms him, Bronn goes to get Jaime, who comes back FURIOUS and fires him; Arya joins the crew (Willem cleans up his act)

(Ed. note: I forgot Arya was supposed to join in year one. Hah.)

June has most of what ended up being in July, and July has most of what ended up being in June. Then:

August (Yr 1) – Two weeks in he shows up, middle of a hot, lazy summer; they have a great time; he drives the F1, they grow closer

(Ed. note: No sexytimes at all on Tarth. No sexytimes at all until the second year, which is one of the best changes I made.)

September (Yr 1) – Wins a race, shirt off, spray w/champagne; they kiss first time before crash ('for good luck' he says; realized he felt like he always did at the start of a race day, blood pulsing with the need for action and the roar and vibration of the engine under him); BEFORE he loses his hand, he's about ready to have sex with her on top of the car but he's got his celibacy thing and he's like “after the race”) and then he crashes the next day so their first time takes awhile. (He's glad she didn't know what he was like with two hands, he's worried he couldn't compete with that Jaime.); crash happens at Griffin's Roost end of Sept. (he hit Red before that for talking shit about Brienne; does Vargo Hoat cause the crash (Martyn gave him secret access to the info & the building w/Connington's help - oh snap)); she's watching, he takes the corner too fast and then in the second between watching live and turning to the screen, his car is flipping. She sees his car and her brother's car superimposed on each other, when she'd snuck out to see it at the impound after.

(Ed. note: The original reason they don’t get together in the first year was because Jaime had a celibacy vow during the race season that he kept as sort of a ‘good luck’ thing, which I’m super glad I dropped. Not my finest plot device. 😂)

Oct (Yr 1)– Brienne convinces Selwyn to start a team and signs Jaime based on Brienne's belief in him; She ends up driving him fast to get that feeling back. But he's a complete disaster, drinks too much and makes a fool of himself, cruel as a defense mechanism, obsessed w/Brienne but doesn't want to bring her down

(Ed. note: This was a period of time where the Arctic Monkeys’ “Do You Wanna Know” was influencing everything I was writing and I wanted him to be very sweaty and wrecked and this is also a thing I’m glad I dropped. Brynn and I actually talked about this a lot - whether Jaime being cruel to her after they’ve started getting together would be a dealbreaker; at one point he was so mean to her she just left for Tarth and that kickstarted him into wanting to get his act together, but a lot changed and so did that, thankfully)

Nov (Yr 1) – Brienne tells him the news after the World Championship when he's super down on himself and that she will be his race engineer and have Bronn as his chief mechanic because she blames herself for not paying attention (which she doesn't reveal until later); and Pod and Arya and most of the crew; she says no December break, you have to work for it. “Why?” he asks. He starts rehab. They start fixing up Selwyn's F1.

(Ed. note: Oh I forgot she surprised him with the news they were starting a racing team for him. Hah. Wow this version was SO DIFFERENT.)

Dec (Yr 1) – She surprises him by bringing in Arthur Dayne to motivate him; they get FIA to agree that he can have a modified steering wheel. Jaime has conversation with Selwyn – you have more money than you let on. 'I wanted Brienne to have a simple life.' 'Then why did you let her come with me?' 'Because you were the only one who didn't look at her like she was a freak.' Jaime is- OOF.

(Ed. note: I knew I wanted Arthur Dayne to show up, but he was playing a more active mentoring role in this version, and then once I really started getting into Jaime being left hanging alone with the ‘Kingslayer’ stuff, I was pissed at Arthur and realized it wasn’t okay for him to just show up. Heh. Also - that line is actually in the final version of HFoG, so some things do stay!)

Jan (Yr 2) – (they don't have NEARLY as much money as with Lannister Corp – look at this for ideas of how that will play out: https://us.motorsport.com/f1/news/tales-former-f1-chief-mechanic-952404/3045945/)

(Ed. Note: I did end up using a TON of the reading and research that I did throughout the story, even in the final version. Races were especially helpful for me to see the wild things that COULD happen - like Brienne coming in to pit with two flat tires. However, the Evenstar team having a much smaller budget never came in to play as much as I thought when I first started. There were some hints of it - their meager ‘cafe’ in the paddock, only having one wing at the end, not having all the extra parts teams normally would, but that article is actually pretty interesting for other ways the really shoestring budget teams have to cope. The LanCo LST was really helpful for me to get around the reality that having a car that can compete at the top level requires an absurd amount of money.)

Feb (Yr 2) - Oberyn Martell had won instead, his first championship ever, and he had not seemed happy when he took the trophy. Brienne had been touched when he'd dedicated it to Aerys and he'd had the trophy sent to Aerys' family; Rumor hinted they'd melted it down and sent that to Jaime Lannister with a note calling him 'Kingslayer,' but it seemed so medieval and cruel Brienne couldn't believe it.

(Ed. Note: Oh geeze I totally forgot about this subplot! There was a whole thing where the Targaryen’s HAD done that and Jaime held onto the trophy as sort of a self-flagellation and then he ends up throwing it away before he proposes to Brienne. Hah.)

Mar (Yr 2) – how he loses one race: https://www.dw.com/en/f1-sebastian-vettel-loses-his-cool-as-lewis-hamilton-wins-canadian-grand-prix/a-49120669

Apr (Yr 2) – he gets really frustrated and shoves all the tools off the table; “I'm not cleaning that up,” she said and walked out on him.

(Ed. note: Honestly a little sad I never kept this scene in some form. It could have been good.)

Jul (Yr 2) - (He puts the old-school lollipop sign in her hand. You tell me when you're ready.)

(Ed. note: this would have been ~symbolic~ because the lollipop signs were what the pit crew used to use to stop a driver in the pit lane and then released him back on the track, but it would have taken too much to explain and it never felt worth it.)

Aug (Yr 2) – She says he needs the rest; he wants to be with her; they have sex; she admits she's been reluctant she didn't want to curse him and he thought she just wasn't interested though he adored her. He says “you're the best luck I ever had.” They finally get together for good.

(Ed. note: I held onto that “best luck I ever had” line for far, far longer than it deserved. I mean it almost showed up in the actual proposal scene and luck had ceased to be a thematic thing between them.)

Oct (Yr 2) – He shows her the interview from their first week – this moment, and he paused right after her story, when he'd stared at her with what she recognized now as adoration; this, he said, is when I first fell in love with you. (That's how he tells her he loves her.); Bronn gets sick, she has to be Chief Mechanic again, she's terrified about Jaime crashing but she works a couple of races and everything is okay. Bronn comes back.

(Ed. note: So - this was going to be Brienne’s big emotional subplot in addition to the relationship. Her being Chief Mechanic again after she was his mechanic during his crash. That was why I ended up changing everything, because it wasn’t enough.)

Nov (Yr 2) – he wins the World Championship; they get fastest pit time record; they find each other in the crowd, Jaime pushing through the media scrum and other racers and everyone and he sees her tall and blonde and tears in her eyes and they find each other and hug and kiss and he doesn't care.

(Ed. note: He had been the more reticent one which was absurd. So many good changes from this version.)

January (again) - He retires to work with her and Selwyn on Tarth; they start a racing school with a focus on underprivileged and disabled kids, as well as girls; Brienne keeps getting calls to be a mechanic for another team (will she?? No, she loves being home mentoring girls interested in being mechanics)

(Ed. note: The karting school was there from the beginning!! But again I didn’t really understand Brienne in this initial outline, and I’m so glad I spent the time thinking more about her and what she wanted. I think the balance between them really worked to give the story so much more depth.)

#heart full of gasoline #my fic #writing life #behind the scenes #long text post #i really did forget HOW different this early version was #i'm glad i kept all these old notes

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Forty-Five

Table of Content or Part Forty-Four

Read HERE on Wattpad

Words: 3.1K

Warning(s): Explicit language, sexual situations, mentions of drug abuse

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Five days detoxing at Doc's house+rehab+therapy=road to recovery=out of the woods. It's the magical equation I swore up and down wouldn't end in "Error."

The few dishes on the counter shatter into the floor once Nikki roughly sits me on it, his fingers digging into my thighs that wrap securely around him, our tongues twisting as we tug and pull at each other's clothes.

I get his pants undone as he pulls the towel from around my body, taking a handful of my soaking wet hair in his hand and tugging my head back to leave bites and bruises up and down my neck, causing me to hum in pleasure while my core pulses with anticipation to be filled by him.

Moving myself to the edge of the counter, spreading my legs as he runs his fist up and down his length a few times, I take heavy breaths, a wash of shame coming over me for a moment because this is the complete opposite of what we were instructed to do.

But fuck the "no contact" rule.

I've barely had any contact with him the past few months because he's been stoned or drunk. Telling me to practically ignore and avoid him for 30 days straight is like waving a loaded syringe in an addict's face before sitting it down in front of them and leaving them alone after telling them "okay I know it's right there and it's the one thing you struggle most to control yourself around, but don't even look at it."

Fuck that, and Nikki. And I refuse to walk around my own house anymore and not do the latter of those two.

The indescribable feeling of him pushing into me has my head tipping back , and my eyes closing as the both of us let out content sighs.

I put my weight on one of my hands that rests on the counter beside me, the other hand wrapped around the back of Nikki's neck, as he moves in and out of me ferociously and I meet him thrust for thrust.

Let's take a step back and catch up on how he and I had gotten to that point.

Eight Days Earlier

"You two can detox at my place, check into rehab, come out when you're better and we'll go from there." Doc explains to Nikki and Tansy as they both sit on our couch.

"W-What about the press? Or my mom?" Tansy asks him nervously, fumbling with the tag on the throw blanket she's enveloped in.

"You let me deal with your mom and the media, alright?" Doc assures her.

"Surely your mom won't be pissed at you for getting help, Tans." I try to tell her and she rubs her lips together.

"People will know I have a problem if I got to rehab." She points out. "It'll make me look bad."

"Having to cover your entire body with makeup to hide the discoloration of your skin and the track marks, looks bad, Tansy. Screw what people think. At least you're admitting you need help." I say and she doesn't reply, just looking at Nikki to gauge his reaction to all of this.

He looks pissed, but too tired and defeated to give a shit enough to argue with me anymore about it.

"What's the point of rehab if I'm just gonna end up kicking it at Doc's place?" Nikki asks me and I let out a breath.

"Because rehab will teach you coping mechanisms that Doc can't, Nikki. It won't take that long for you to get out if you just try your best at it." I reply and he scoffs.

"So, what, you're babysitting me at Doc's until I'm done throwing up, shitting myself, and having hot and cold flashes and then shipping me off for a few weeks?" He cuts his dead eyes at me and Doc and I exchange looks.

"Well, it depends on how quickly you adjust to rehab and make a turn around, as to how soon you can get out...so it might be more than a few weeks." Doc informs him. "And Bob has already scheduled you and Viv an appointment with a marriage therapist."

"Well if I'm spending more than three weeks in rehab there's no point in working on our marriage."

"The program you'll be in includes this particular therapist who's currently working on creating a schedule for Vivian to come visit you often and you two have your sessions bi-weekly." Doc states and Nikki rolls his jaw, looking at me.

"Is this what you really want? Your husband gone for weeks on end until some quack gives me a certificate and a gold star because I went 'X' amount of time without shooting up?" He harshly questions me and I rub my lips together.

I think of the reasons Nikki didn't spend more than three days in rehab the first time he went, was because A.) He refused to believe in a higher power, and B.) He didn't go to rehab because he knew he had a problem and wanted to get better, he went to rehab to appease the people around him because he felt we were twisting his arm until he gave up and cried "mercy" a.k.a "fine I'll go, just as long as you shut the fuck up and get off my back about it."

I look at him for a moment, studying his knotted hair, his yellow skin, his shot eyes, his weak appearance, before saying:

"I'd rather you hate me for a little while for getting you help, instead of waking up and trying to convince myself to continue to live in a world with no Nikki Sixx in it."

"We're not indestructible, Nikki." Tansy adds softly, knowing very well she and he both need help.

He doesn't say anything else.

She had Doc and I convinced she wanted help...but truth be told Nikki actually went to rehab while Tansy had Duff come get her from Doc's house.

She knew she had a severe problem, but the only time Tansy would "clean up" was when she gave her veins a break, out of fear of completely losing them, and was muscling smack. She would fall back on pills and lots of booze, then when some of her veins would start reviving themselves back from their smaller size, she would start up again.

I can't even say how much money she and her mother were paying people to keep quiet to the media.

Nobody could know perfect Tansy Lyn, Playboy's Barbie Doll, was so broken inside that she repeatedly destroyed her body, let it rebuild, and wrecked it again.

It must have been a punch in the face to her mom when Tansy came clean in '88 and admitted she had struggled with addiction and was going into rehab...and an even harder punch in the face when she came back in into the spotlight in 1989, dropping her stage name "Tansy Lyn" and dawning "Tansalyn Rose" after marrying Axl, and practically confessed every grimy detail of her obsession with hard drugs and alcohol since 1981, and why she started them to cope with what was happening behind the scenes of the brutal modeling industry.

In 1990, her vision-come-to-life, "I Won't Just Smile", was born. It started as a campaign to raise awareness against sexual abuse, exploitation, and coercion in all corners of the modelling industry, then stemmed into an organization that offered free services to victims of addiction and abuse, from rehab to post-assault counseling and everything in between.

Years of Diane's hard work to create her daughter's untouchable persona, completely shattered.

I was just thrilled Tansy had turned her struggles around and used them to help others, but first, she would have to face a handful of overdoses, one of which nearly killed her, have a section of her liver cut out, and have a temporary pace-maker.

All of it just made Axl more strict about drugs. Not just for the sake of the band and the fans, but he was afraid some members of Guns in particular would pull Tansy back into the merry-go-round of addiction after she got clean.

"You're telling me I can't stay with him and Tansy?" I ask Doc harshly in a whisper once the four of us get to his house.

"You won't want to stay, Viv. I'm telling you, they're gonna pull out all the stops to get you to cave and get them some smack because they'll be in so much pain. I don't want you to see them like that and I don't want you to compromise their recovery." He explains.

"You think I would do that?!"

"I know you would if it came down to it." He states and I roll my jaw. "This isn't just little flu symptoms and some body aches. They will feel like they are going to die, they will look like they are going to die and I cannot trust you not to give in." His brutal honesty. "You'll be able to see them in about a week, they'll be better by then and then we can look at the next step. Got it?"

I just glare at him.

"Go kiss 'em 'bye' and fuck off." He says next, waving his hand at me dismissively as he goes to my car to grab Nikki's bag and his car to grab Tansy's.

I step back into the living room to tell them 'bye' but stop myself, deciding it's better to let Doc deal with Nikki's pissed off temper when he discovers I won't be staying with them.

Grabbing my car keys from the table by the door, I head the house.

When I get back to our house, I check the machine that's blinking a light to signal a missed call.

I go to the kitchen and get a glass of water as Slash's voice slurs through the speaker.

"H-Hey, Viv, um...uh...we..." I chuckle at his incoherent mumbling and step to the phone to call him back as another message starts playing where his left off.

"Viv," It's Duff. "Call us back as soon as you can."

I furrow my brows a little, about to dial them back until yet another message comes on.

"Viv, we got signed!" Steven's screaming has me dropping my water and the phone, joy coursing through the soles of my feet up to my hair, and I'm running around and screaming along with his recorded message loudly blaring his own excitement.

I run back to the phone and pick it up, dialing their apartment.

"We got signed!" Steven's voice is shouting at me before the phone even rings a single ring.

"When?! How?! By who?!" I say back.

"We'll tell you over dinner because guess who got $7,500 cash advances?! The same mother fuckers who've been stealing from strippers to get by, that's who!" He exclaims.

"Yeah, don't ever tell people you guys did that!" I say in the same tone. "Lemme change and I'll be over there, okay?"

"Okay." He replies, and I can just hear his smile through the phone.

I hang up and give one last scream of happiness before sprinting to get changed and leave.

Tom Zutaut, the same man responsible for giving Mötley Crüe their shot, had given the same shot to Guns N' Roses.

They had signed to Geffen Records, and although that was their second goal--the first was getting a band together--they knew the main goal was to release their first album, and hopefully, have it a success.

Before I can even knock on the door, it's swinging open and Steven's like a puppy, jumping around, waiting on me by the door.

I hug him tightly, trying to keep myself from crying with immense relief that they're one step closer--a giant step closer--to their dream.

When we pull away from each other, Duff holds his hand up for me to give him a high-five and I do, his fingers locking with my hand to pull me into a hug and I'm sandwiched between him and Steven momentarily.

A flash catches my eye and we pull away from each other to see a girl with short, blonde hair, that I've never seen before, holding a camera.

"That's gonna be a good one." She tells us, smiling at Duff as the Polaroid deposits.

Mandy Brixx, member of the punk band, Lotus Lame and The Lame Flames, was a cute girl with bleach blonde hair, beautiful brown eyes and a captivating smile...and was also Duff's first wife.

Mandy wasn't perfect, but she didn't disown Duff after he told her he had gotten me pregnant.

Even though he didn't cheat on her with me, and they had been broken up for about six months when he and I got involved, I know it hurt her knowing he had hooked up with the woman she was sure she didn't have to worry about when they dated. They ended up getting back together in 1988 and got married the same year.

They divorced two years later because something just "changed" and neither of them were happy, but I've always respected her because she was really good to Monroe.

His second wife, however, was crazier than a run over dog because she was always on something.

The last time I saw her in 1993, she had said something crass and rude to Tansy and before Tansy could reply, I was asking Linda, "were you born a cunt or does the crack just bring it out of you?"

She swung on me and I swung back. Except when I throw a punch, I make sure it lands.

Maybe she would've actually hit me if her equilibrium weren't as fried as her brain.

I would've kicked her ass if Duff and Matt Sorum hadn't pulled me off of her.

I hope she got her shit together after they divorced in 1995.

I guess bass players and crack-head models go hand-in-hand...

"Viv, this is my girlfriend, Mandy." Duff introduces me. "Mandy, this is my best friend, Viv."

"Hi, it's good to finally meet you." Mandy tells me with a gentle smile and I extend my hand to her.

"You, too." I reply as she takes my hand in her's, my eyes subtly flickering to Duff now that he's standing beside her, silently asking him when the hell he was going to tell me about his girlfriend.

"I'll tell you later." He mouths to me where she can't see and I just keep smiling as she strikes up conversation with me.

Once we get to the Rainbow, Steven and I are a few steps in front of Duff and Mandy, the blonde drummer letting out a little sigh.

"What is it?" I ask, nudging him.

"Just worried about Tansy." He admits, and I raise my brows. "It's not like that, Viv, I swear." He promises. "She's a cool person, is all. I wish she was here to celebrate this with us."

"I'm sure she'll be thrilled to hear about it when you're allowed to go visit her in rehab." I remind him. "Where's the guys?" I ask next as we step into the Rainbow.

"Slash is hanging out with this chick he met a couple weeks ago, Izzy's with his girl friend and I don't know where Axl is." He tells me and I nod. "So it's just a double date for us tonight." He grins widely, winking at me slickly.

After hours of just goofing off, talking, eating and demonstrating our celebration of Guns' stepping stone, Mandy's calling it a night.

"I'll call you later, Duff." She says to him as she grabs her jacket and he stands up to let her scoot out of the booth.

"Sounds good, babe." He replies, kissing her cheek.

"It was really nice to meet you." She tells me.

"It was nice to meet you, too." I reply.

"Bye." She smiles one last time at Duff, waving to Steven before leaving.

"When did you me--"

"Viv, lemme out." Steven interrupts me and I furrow my brows.

"What?"

"Lemme out, there's a hot girl at the bar and she just waved me over. I wanna get laid. Lemme out." He pleads and I roll my eyes and scoot out so he can stand up.

He does so, heading straight to the bar to try his luck with a beautiful brunette.

And then there were two.

"You were saying?" Duff chuckles out when Steven's gone and I smile a little.

"When did you and Mandy meet?" I ask him and he lets out a breath of cigarette smoke.

"Uh, a month ago, maybe? She gave me her number and I went back and forth with myself until I convinced myself to call her." He explains. "We spent the weekend together so I guess we get along pretty good. She's a great girl."

"She seems nice." I tell him, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Yeah, she is." He agrees, taking another drag of his cigarette.

I take a sip of my water and sit in the silence that falls over us before noticing he's staring at me.

"What?" I ask him.

"You wanna go somewhere with me?" He offers, putting his cigarette out.

"Where?"

"C'mon." He stands up, nodding to the door.

"But Steven--"

"--Is about to go mess around with that girl in the bathroom. He's not gonna be mad if we leave him." He adds. "C'mon, you'll like where we go."

"If you say so." I shrug.

He pays the bill and the two of us head back to their apartment so he can get his car.

I know I should have been at home by the phone, waiting for a call from Doc or Nikki or Tansy, but it was pointless to sit at home and worry when I couldn't do anything about it anyway.

When we get to where we're going, Duff is parking his car in the lot of an abandoned building, and I glance around to see there's not much traffic around us.

"Is this the part where you murder me?" I ask him and he busts out in laughter, shaking his head.

"This is where Mandy and her band rehearses." He explains.

"Why're we here?"

"I picked her up here the other day and noticed something you might like." He gets out the car and opens his trunk, pulling out a shopping bag.

"Duff..." I say, uneasy as we approach the rusted door.

"Shh, I got it." He digs in his jacket pocket and plucks out a worn key, unlocking the dead bolt and the door knob.

I follow him inside, and he switches on a light switch, only one light beam in the ceiling comes on, and in the large, dim room, I see a large mirrored wall, sleek but worn out wood floors, and I turn to see Duff holding out a brand new pair of pointe shoes to me.

I wasn't going to tell him I'd gone so long without dancing that I'd have to work my way back up to dancing on pointe, because he'd spent money for the shoes and they looked to be around my size and I didn't want to know how observant he had to be to estimate my shoe size in terms of ballet...so I did something I was really good at doing at that time in my life.

I kept myself from crying.

I knew Duff was going to be a constant encourager in my life when he held those shoes out to me and so easily, so confidently, said:

"You've supported and helped me get into my groove of things to start accomplishing my dream. Now, I'm helping you get back into your's."

#nikki sixx #tommy lee #vince neil #mötley crüe #gateway drug

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echotovalley · 4 years

Text

so because I’m taking a writing break but still super needy

I figured I would post this outline for a pokemon au that I’m never going to write. it’s basically notes from a conversation I had back in early 2018? Imagine my surprise going back now and realizing this might read much like Detective Pikachu - cubone is just my favorite pokemon

***before we get into anything please know that while I play pgo and I’ve learned LOTS of new pokemon, I’m still the most familiar and attached to the og 150 + 1. I also probably get a lot of canon pokemon rules and history wrong but my heart is in the right place

reblogs appreciated! | come talk at me about your thoughts or literally anything

premise: keith might not be a pokemon person

but pokemon are definitely a keith person

- for unknown reasons keith docks in cuba, he's kind of just been getting work and moving moving always moving because one place never works out for long. pokemon are everywhere but it's not his thing.

it never happened for him besides why would he make an animal be saddled with him? there's no stability there. and again, he's always moving. through so many different regions.

he doesn't have the heart to yank a sandshrew onto a barge across the atlantic or a charmander up the northeast coast of the US. he can barely take care of himself. and it's weird by now. to not have a pokemon by now. they were everywhere and so normalized.

they were part of everyday school curriculum and even in hospitals and rescue stations. which is another reason why he never stayed in one place very long because not having a pokemon didn't incite people to trust you.

bc even team rocket (team rocket still sounds so much better than team galra but team rocket is the galra) had pokemon that bonded and trusted them.

he gets a room and some horrible job on the coast and basically just gets by. tries not to cause trouble or get caught or encourage rattatas or a caterpie to follow him home because they could still smell half the lunch he didn't eat tucked in his bag

- i'm plotting by the seat of my pants but what really kick-started all of this was the thought of Keith finding a wounded cubone in the middle of the night.

it's too dark and raining to tell what animal or pokemon attacked it or if it was a person that fractured the skull he wore enough for a piece to break off along the jaw

the cubone sustained a mean looking scrape to its face and this is not what keith needs right now but he can tell the cubone's crying and kind of just accepted what's happened and it keeps pawing at the missing piece in the skull and keith may not actively interact with pokemon but he doesn't hate them and he still has a heart.

he's docked in cuba and his spanish just gets him by to get food and money and not anger anyone

he didn't think the barge's docking region through all of the way so he's got a cubone to help with rudimentary spanish that sucks on the best day but he's going to try and get the cubone help

he starts rushing through streets and people's yards because he could have swore the town had a gym he passed but in the dark and rain it takes him a full hour to find the gym.

- duh it's closed but he's at least going to bang on the doors and hopefully it's going to set off an alarm or something

the police will show up or someone will be able to take the cubone where it needs to go. his hand is numb from knocking as hard as he could before the door is whooshed open and someone is spitting rapid fire spanish like venom and he thinks he manages to get out that he can really only speak english and shoves the cunbone into their hands.

before he knows it, he's being yanked by his collar into the gym and down hallways and finally into the blinding lights of the pokemon center on sight.

there's more spanish and faces that look so similar that its clear it's a family that runs the gym.

- beep beep guess who's family owns and runs the gym

the pokecenter is actually a rehabilitation center founded and run by the McClain family for several generations

he gets questioned after the cubone is taken back behind the doors and it takes someone repeatedly snapping their fingers in front of his face to get him to come back to the conversation.

his name's keith, he's from the US, he just found the cubone - no he doesn't know if it has an owner, doesn't even know if it’s wild or if it has a nearby pack or how it got hurt or how long it’s been hurt.

but keith,

keith is his name and he can at least answer that.

he stays there over night and finds out that Marco is the one that answered the door. Veronica is the one to actually examine him because he looks like he's about to pass out.

their mother is the one to assure him the cubone would be fine - her daughter Rachel attends to injured pokemon and gets another son Luis to show Keith to a room in their house and keith passes out the second he stumbles to a bed.

- in the morning, when he goes to the bathroom and is in the middle of washing his hands, another son is banging on the door for Marco to get out of the bathroom and that's the first time he meets lance

when Keith yanks the door open he tells him to freaking stop because he's clearly not marco.

an older man, probably come to break up a fight, stops and blinks at keith before shouting over his shoulder about not remembering having or getting another kid (arthur "and who are you???" weasley style)

(our boy Lance has a minor panic about the cute random guy is his bathroom at 8 a.m.)

Keith gets shoved down at a table covered in food for breakfast and can't keep up he definitely has a headache and is ready to throw himself through a window when he's asked about his pokemon and if they need help too

he doesn't have pokeman and never has had one and isn't really interested and this family has centered their entire lives around it

- he sees the cubone again, in recovery and it paws a little at his hands in thanks

over the next few days, he stays with them and somehow gets roped into doing chores around the facility and given an assigned seat at their table for meals and he's just T H R O W N

they literally have an arbok taking a nap in a hammock in their backyard and a pod of seadras in an olympic pool in the gym just hanging out (doing little races between each other or chasing each other)

a vulpix he learns belongs to one of the McClain siblings (Rachel) sunbathes and sniffs at his feet while he’s working in the yard

and there's a persian destroying blinds in the living room window and a charizard in the kitchen

and some random small children he learns are marco's are throwing or shooting across the floor fridge magnets as a game with a magnemite

- begrudgingly on McClain’s part, keith’s assigned to Lance for being shown around the rehab center

lance takes him to the beach and out into the middle of the ocean on a boat

Keith: "this is where you feed me to a gryados"

Lance: "close"

and a freaking L A P RA S pops up out of the water and clicks at lance and makes little waves in his direction and they do a damn forehead touch he's crazy this is crazy

Keith: "YOU HAVE A LAPRAS???!!!!" - because even keith who doesn’t do pokemon knows what the heck a lapras is

Lance "I don't have a lapras. Nobody owns her. We just give her her room and protect or heal her when she needs it"

- the next few weeks see lance having to admit keith isn’t so bad and that just because he doesn’t have a pokemon, it doesn’t mean he actively dislikes them

the cubone is attached to keith - despite his bad attitude, lance says

this is the initial thought that kicked this off: keith asks if they have a 3D printer and once the cubone's injury is fully healed, he makes a mold for the missing piece and fits it in place

lance denies crying

"you've done one (1) good thing, kogane"

- then the real plot kicks in when the lapras is captured and taken from the beach by team rocket

lance blames keith because of the timing, because of keith's vague answers on where he's from, why he has no friends or family, no pokemon

insert painful, raw, yelled, "I TRUSTED YOU"

keith convinces him he's not part of team rocket and the main story starts where lance and keith leave to go after the lapras and return her to cuba.

- before they leave, rachel throws a pokeball at keith "i think your cubone might like this one"

and lance's eyes get huge because he knows what it is and then a pokemon is coming out of the pokeball

and it's a marowak

the cubone very carefully and slowly approaches her and the marowak just watches and waits. the cubone brushes its bone across the marowak's foot and then approaches and okay keith's eyes definitely water as he watches this marowak kind of take in the cubone.

(THE CRITICAL HIT COMES WHEN THE CUBONE EVENTUALLY EVOLVES. I like to think maybe through poke-magic the skull fixes itself when he evolves and the cubone hands the 3d mold back to keith and gets keith to put it on a chain safe for his skin to wear the 3d mold piece still)

- obv they get the lapras back,

they find out keith's mom was a double agent ofc for the team rocket faction that took the lapras

they meet hunk and pidge and allura and coran and romelle and others along the way to take down team rocket because what’s a pokemon au without the power of friendship

- keith and lance wait at the airport in cuba

it's for shiro, he had let keith travel because he saw that keith needed to find room to grow and find who he was

obviously keith is not 10. he and lance are 17.

anyways he rushes keith and pulls him into a big hug and tells keith how proud of him he is

the first thing lance tells shiro is about the time keith almost stepped on an exeggcute and how they chased him

or the time he almost sustained a skull fracture from a taurus and the time a seel thought keith was its mom

there was also that time with a magby-

keith: “OKAY LANCE WE GET IT THANK YOU”

BONUS:

keith being mildly terrified of the pokemon hanging around the McClain properties

Lance: "if you want to lay in the hammock just move him"

Keith: "just move him?! it's an arbok not a lap dog"

a nest of torchicks gets laid in the backyard and follows keith for two days after they hatch and lance laughs so hard he cries because keith can't shake them and he winds up tripping and they all jump on top of him

keith might not have been a pokemon person

but pokemon are definitely a keith person

#klance #Keith Kogane #Lance McClain #Voltron #VLD #writing tag

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stevie-writes-the-pain-away · 4 years

Text

Alcoholics Anonymous - Chapter Six

I pushed my hair back as I brushed my teeth, straightening my clothes and adjusting my name tag. I always hated my preparation routine for work. It might have only been a change of clothes plus tidying myself up, but it took up so much of my energy. It sounds pathetic to some, I know, but simply living drained me enough. I put my toothbrush back and ran my fingers through my hair as I hurried towards the front door. I picked up my drawstring bag and left into the hallway, locking the apartment up behind me.

I had a shift at a small convenience store down the street. It was my least favourite of the three part time jobs I worked considering how loud and crammed it was. We got many young customers since the building sat so little ways away from a secondary school down the street, so I had to deal with a lot of inconsiderate preteens. Not to mention how easy it would be to get robbed so I'd spend hours stocking shelves in fear until my coworker came in for their shift and I'd go on break.

As I walked into the staff room I took out a snack bar from my bag, as well as my phone. Looking at my notifications I blinked, confused.

"Busy tonight?" It was Cassidy.

As much as I hated rejecting her offers, I couldn't waste any more time partying that week. "Got a shift tonight, sorry"

"Come on," I read alongside an irritated emoticon. "You're always working, lighten up."

"I have rent to pay, Cass," I answered with a smile.

"Isn't three jobs a little unnecessary though?" I rolled my eyes. Sure, three jobs was a lot to juggle, but I was part time and she had her own full time job. She wouldn't understand.

"I'm not successful like you lol."

"Tru." I slightly winced at her response. I knew I didn't have the right to considering I pulled that self-deprecating joke on myself upon my own free will, but I guess I wasn't expecting her to answer so bluntly. I stopped complaining and began typing.

"I digress, I'm busy, sorry."

"Suit yourself."

I reminded myself that I felt bad for shutting her down. She was one of my only friends and she was trying to help me but time after time I kept refusing her offers. I guess I couldn't blame myself, I had jobs to fulfill, but she wasn't wrong. Was three jobs really too many?

No, I convinced myself. I needed the money, she just didn't realize how important it was to me that I worked hard in order to achieve. It was understandable of her though, she didn't know my position. It was just her telling me to live a little, which was also understandable. Defending Cassidy inside my head through a mental argument made me feel a little better. Realizing how dramatic of the situation I turned it into, I shook my head, finishing my lunch break and heading back to work.

Cassidy was usually busy with work on the weekdays, going out with her friends to have fun Friday night to Sunday morning, while I spent them keeping myself distracted in different ways with my shifts at the café.

"I feel like you're always working," my boss chuckled before he entered the next room.

I smiled as warmly as I could. "I've got nothing else going for me right now," I mumbled as I continued stocking the shelves.

"I know you offered to take the closing shift but . . . why don't you take this one off?"

I looked up at him. It was considerate of him to free me of my work, especially on a Friday night, but I took the shift for a reason.

I enjoyed Cassidy's company, along with her friends', but deep down I knew my jobs were the only thing between us; and in a way, that was a good thing. If I wasn't free, how was I going to go out and drink with Cassidy and her friends? I figured I wasn't the one who had to oblige if my managers already booked me off; it was the only excuse I had that made me feel a little less guilty. I didn't want to hurt Cassidy's feelings or push her away by telling her I didn't want to hang out willingly, so this was my key to escape, even if it was just more work. At least it got more pay; I'd get out of that apartment and into my own dorm someday.

Packing up my things, I waved goodbye to my co worker at the cash-register, heading out the door for a night all to myself. Cassidy usually left around 7:00 PM, which was when my shift ended, so I had no problem going home right away. I could slide in right after she left and she wouldn't know I was there. I smiled at my plan, relieved I could escape a night I'd regret in the morning.

As I unlocked the front door, I sauntered inside, throwing my belongings onto the couch as I slid against the door, shutting it. I sighed, locking it behind me before I heard footsteps from the hallway.

"(Y/N)?" I felt my heart drop. "I thought you were working late," Cassidy smirked, working her way towards me.

"Oh . . . I'm . . . coming home for lunch."

"Don't you have lunch there? I already texted you during your lunch break," she pointed out.

I froze in my spot, my face painted red. I was never good at confrontation, a big reason I'd ran away from my problems all of my life. I wished that this could be one of those problems, buts it's not like I could just move out so impulsively. "Yeah . . . I meant my dinner break."

"Oh . . . That's a shame," Cassidy pouted. She entered the livingroom, settling down on the couch. "I was really hoping you'd join us."

"I'm sorry, Cassidy," I sighed.

"It's fine . . ." she brushed off. "I gotta go call the girls now about our drive."

"You made plans but you don't have a drive?" I questioned.

"Well, I was hoping you'd be the one to drive since I thought you'd agree to come along, but . . ."

At that point I felt guilty. She really wanted me to come, huh?

What if I was being selfish? Cassidy wanting me to have "fun" wasn't really her peer pressuring me, was it? It was all coming from good intention; she didn't know why I was saying no and she didn't know I shouldn't have been drinking. But I did.

Perhaps all I needed to do was learn some self-control. That way I could join their group, assist them as their helpful driver, and reassure myself I didn't need to be intoxicated to let loose. But was self-control really as easy as I was convincing myself?

I looked over at Cassidy sitting on the couch, scrolling through the contacts on her phone before I opened my stupid mouth. "On second thought . . ."

~~~

I struggled to keep my eyes open, rubbing them once more and looking up at the clock. I knew I shouldn't have come to that day's session but I figured, if it got me out of the house, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I forgot to consider the sunny weather however, burning up my eyes as I squinted my way through London on my way to the clinic. I shook my head, trying to keep focus as much as I could.

I know my praying probably wasn't doing so good, but I wanted to convince myself if I hoped hard enough, people wouldn't be suspicious of my behaviour. I was definitely not feeling well, but was I doing a good job at hiding it? A sigh of relief escaped through my lips as the session came to an end and I carefully stood up, grabbing my bag. As everyone else moved on, I noticed Murdoc waiting for me by the door and I tilted my head in confusion. I glanced behind me as Phoebe was focused setting up for her next session and I turned back at Murdoc who smirked with crossed arms. I tried to smile at him but I knew it couldn't have looked right. He chuckled and wrapped his arm around my back, helping me walk forward. We left the building in silence and stood together outside as we watched the familiar faces of our group disappear. I wasn't sure why I didn't continue walking, but I'm not sure why I was expecting a hungover me to do anything correctly anyway.

"And you decided to drink because . . . ?"

I looked towards him, horrified. I figured it wouldn't be worth lying, so I dropped my face to a frown and sighed in defeat. "Is it that obvious?"

"Not gonna lie, I'm impressed at how well you held it together in there. It wasn't even that obvious, but I know you." He slanted his head, still looking for an answer with a cocked brow.

I shook my head, disappointed in myself, and I noticed his smirk beginning to fade. "It's nothing bad, Cassidy offered to bring me out with her friends again, so . . ."

"Hmm . . ." It was quiet for a moment but Murdoc wasn't gonna let me get away with a sorrowful expression. "Don't be so down in the dumps about it, love," he said. I turned to him, frustrated. Why couldn't he just understand that being happy about your unhealthy habits isn't exactly healthy? He recognized my unpleasant response and laughed at me. "Seriously, (Y/N). I'm not telling you to give up on rehab, but you don't have to hate yourself for messing up-"

"I know but I'd rather hate myself more so I'm more likely to never do it again, Murdoc," I retorted, instantly regretting it. I felt guilty for raising my voice, aside from the instant headache I received from it. I watched him blink in shock and he pursed his lips, awkwardly. He clearly wasn't expecting that from me and I wasn't either, darting my head back forward, trying to ignore the uncomfortable atmosphere I'd just created. "It's just . . . I-I don't know why I do this to myself . . . People tell me I shouldn't beat myself up but how can't I when I let myself be in that position over and over again . . . ?"

I heard his Cuban heels tap the pavement as he inched closer to me. I felt his smirk through his sympathetic sigh. He lightly nudged my shoulder, catching my attention. "I know how you feel . . . But maybe it's best you stay away from the kids who convince you to drink with them in the first place?"

"What are you implying? It's not like I can avoid Cass, she lives two meters away from me." I closed my eyes in defeat for a few seconds, catching some conscious sleep. I could feel Murdoc watch and I looked towards him once more, desperate for him to help me solve my problem.

"What I'm implying is . . . maybe spend a few hours with me. We could learn more about each other . . . Maybe even stay for supper if you really want. You don't have to, but life gets boring when you've got nobody to talk to." I knew this smooth-talking character was a confident man, he could make any women fall for him whenever he wanted. I didn't take Murdoc's offer as him flirting, not when he had so many better options around us, but why did he seem to hold back so much? I could see a hint of apprehension in his eyes as we looked at each other, he couldn't hide that from me. I couldn't be special, though, there must've been plenty of other girls before me who saw exactly what I saw. I guess I was just excited to have somebody else other than Cassidy who seemed to want to get to know me.

"You need me to come over because you can't talk to your roommates?" I questioned, barely believing it.

"I could try, but it wouldn't be the same," Murdoc persisted. "Besides," he continued. "I've got a hangover cure I think you'll enjoy," he said.

I wasn't sure what that meant, but I didn't hold my breath. He probably genuinely did want to help me feel better, this wasn't some sort of pick up like to get laid, and I wasn't ready to be alone again either. His smirk remained as if it were his only means of defence when he presented any form of pure kindness to somebody. He certainly wasn't shy, but perhaps when he offered a nice gesture towards someone, he felt more vulnerable. I glanced at the ground and back up to him, "Why not?" He seemed to wear an authentic grin for once, starting for the parking lot. I wished he would've worn it more often, watching him look back at me and gesturing for me to follow him.

With a smile on my face and pep in my step, I walked after him. He took out the keys from his pocket and alerted his drive; a red muscle car. It was in great condition on the outside but when Murdoc opened the door for me, it was trashed on the inside. I nervously grinned and sat myself down in the passenger's seat. When he closed my door and got in on the other side, he instantly picked up the piles of junk and clutter, tossing everything to the back seats. "Let's just move this," I heard him mumble. The front was soon cleared of the cigarettes, flasks, and other trash, but it still reeked of alcohol and smoke. "Sorry," he chuckled, but I just shook my head carelessly. As he started the car and revved the engine, I flinched, watching him turn the radio on and turning the volume down from its past obnoxious high. Listening to his metal, I turned my head out the window as we drove out of the parking lot.

I heard Murdoc hum a little as the songs passed, making the drive a little more peaceful. I closed my eyes when he rolled down the windows, feeling the wind against my face cool me down from the warm Spring air. I took a deep breath in and opened my eyes as I exhaled, feeling Murdoc's eyes on me once again. I glanced back at him and he immediately looked back to the road, tapping his fingers to the beat of the aggressive rock that played.

The wind in my hair was refreshing, and the speed we were going fuelled my adrenaline. Murdoc gave me such an addicting and adventurous craving. His company may have been new and different to my life but it was definitely something I needed. I thought of these facts over and over, comforting myself until we were getting closer and closer to the highway. "Murdoc?"

"Hm?"

"W-where do you live?"

"Oh, not far at all," he claimed with confidence. "I just enjoy taking the longer route on the highway. It fuels my fire," he added with a growl.

As soon as we entered the highway, Murdoc excited, swerving his car around the corner as we came closer to a haunted-esque home. It looked broken down and neglected, so I wasn't surprised when Murdoc's vehicle came to a screeching halt on the side of the gravel road. He took out his keys, swinging his door open; but before I could open mine, he was doing it for me. I simply smiled at his gentlemanly actions, crawling out and taking my bag with me. He secured his car and walked me to the front door, fumbling with his keys again to unlock it and push it open. "After you," he smiled.

I quietly laughed, thanking him. "Wow," I whispered. It was definitely an oldie. The architecture wasn't very modern, as well as the wallpaper and overall building. I stood in awe, intrigued by the aura.

"It's just us today," Murdoc said, closing the door behind us. "My ba-" he began before coughing. I turned to him, waiting for him to finish. "My roommates, I mean, go out and hang out when I go to therapy, like the fun roommates they are, so maybe you can meet them some other time," he concluded. He groaned at the thought of it, slouching as he tossed his house keys to the coat rack.

"Oh," I nervously laughed, sympathetic towards his loneliness.

"Whatever! Who needs 'em!" He headed up the stairs across from the entrance, looking back at me. "Coming?"

I nodded and we walked up together, heading down the hall. "My room isn't any better than my car, but it's hopefully tolerable," he admitted, opening the creaky wooden door. I headed inside before him, looking around. It was certainly messy, but I could see more of an organized chaos rather than clutter. His room was almost exactly how I expected it to be; leather this and leather that, dark-coloured everything - the typical Murdoc Niccals aesthetic. I smiled at how perfect it felt and even noticed his bass guitar in the corner of the room.

"You play?" I asked, pointing to the instrument leaning against the wall.

"Hm?" he questioned, looking in my direction. "Oh, yeah! Self taught from when I was just a lad," he explained, walking forward. He picked up the guitar and sat on his bed, beginning to strum. I joined him and he winced at the awfully out of tune strings. "She's an angel when she's tuned," he said, tuning it himself.

Finally, he began to play, and I couldn't believe my ears. He was incredible. His hands worked so gently against the strings it was almost as if some professional came down from Heaven and worked their magic themself. "You're amazing," I said. Murdoc responded with a smile, continuing to use his talent. He made it look so easy, he worked so effortlessly. "How long have you been playing?"

"I began performing when I was just a kid, but really started playing instruments when I was ten, maybe? My uncle would come over and bring his bass with him - he played in his own little band - and eventually I found enough courage to steal one for myself and practice whenever I could," he rambled. Did he really? I wondered if he still kept that stolen bass as some sort of sentimental piece.

Looking at his present bass I studied its style, unable to find any clues as to what brand it could've been. It definitely looked like a rare type of guitar and I found myself thinking about it hard. "Where did you get this one?"

"I'm contemplating whether you'd believe me or not," he said, pausing the music to converse more.

I shook my head, "Why wouldn't I?"

Murdoc grinned mysteriously. He must've been trying to tell me to prepare for his storytime but I was already prepared to trust him when my gut told me so from the beginning. He chuckled and shuffled in his seat, beginning to play again. "Back when I was a teenager, Devil-worshipping became one of my favourite pastimes, y'know? Eventually, I started making packs, and as a trade he gave me this beauty," he said, lifting the guitar from his lap a few seconds.

I wasn't a very religious person. I lost my faith a long time ago, and for valid reasons, but something in the back of my head believed in him. I nodded, "What did you trade him?"

Murdoc nervously laughed, "I-I dont really remember, something about music." He got up and put his bass away on its stand before looking back at me from where he stood.

"Have you ever thought of playing professionally?" I asked. He walked forward, towering over me.

"Definitely. I'm not gonna lie, I've even written a few songs before, but I just . . . I don't know, I just never got around to searching for fame."

"You've written songs before?" I asked, beaming with excitement. "May I hear?"

Murdoc smiled at me and headed towards his writing desk, pulling out one of the drawers. In his hands he held a folder just flooding with paper, and a few fell out. He ignored them, placing the folder on the bed. "There's another one somewhere," he mumbled.

"There's another one? I thought you said you only wrote some," I said, opening the folder.

"Well, I wasn't expecting you to ask," he answered.

I looked through the pieces of chicken-scratch, listening to the tunes of the sheet music in my head and reading the lyrics. I learned how to read sheet music back in high school when I took a class, and for some reason I couldn't forget how. "Murdoc . . . you're a wonderful writer, how could you hide this stuff away?"

Murdoc shrugged, sitting on the bed beside me. "I didn't think the world wanted to hear my sappy lyrics, either."

"Yeah . . . Not that it's anything bad, but I wasn't expecting something so soft to come from somebody who . . ." I looked back at him as waiting for me to tell who I saw him as. "Somebody who . . . seems hardcore and listens to metal."

Murdoc chuckled, leaning closer to my ear as I proceeded to dig deeper in his work. He watched over my shoulder, "The audience needs a bit of a surprise once in a while, it brings something worth playing and someone worth playing for."

I smiled and placed the paper down, remembering the songs in my head and what their words could mean. "What was this one inspired by?" I asked, pointing to one of the sheets. The title of the song was 'Broken' and I was instantly intrigued when I read the first line.

"Ahh . . ." he answered. "I met this girl once and . . . to say the least, it didn't go as planned."

I winced, glancing back at him and his pursed lips. "What happened?"

"I'd rather not say," he spoke dramatically. "It pains me just to think about it," he continued in theatrical emotion.

I laughed in response, "Well, I wouldn't want to put you through any bad memories . . ." It went a little quiet, the only things we did was look at each other. "What are your songs usually inspired by?"

"Oh-h-h, life events, stories I think of, dreams, and even nightmares . . . nightmarish memories. Not very happy stuff in all honesty."

"Well, where does all the happy stuff go when you don't write songs about them, too?"

"It was never there in the first place," he mumbled, turning away from me. I watched his grin slip away, distracting himself with whatever was outside the bedroom window.

Hearing him say that nearly shattered my heart. It was so unexpected, I was trying to find the right thing to respond with. "What do you mean it was never there?"

"Let's just say life sometimes isn't the easiest to get through . . . and let's just leave it at that," he answered. "Okay?" he concluded, looking back at me.

All I could do was stare. I knew his bad habits had to have come from somewhere but I hoped it wouldn't be something intentional. I thought he just enjoyed his beverage more and more as the years went by, but it sounded like it was purposefully an escape; similar to my relationship with alcohol. "Murdoc . . . I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, (Y/N). Besides, I still live on," he replied with more enthusiasm this time.

"I know, but it definitely doesn't seem like you're living on, more just getting through the days . . . Of course, there are days where it's okay to simply make it past and focus on tomorrow but it shouldn't be like that all the time."

Murdoc stopped responding and looked down at his lap instead. All I could do was watch and hope he wouldn't leave me in the dark, pushing me away. "I know, but I'm getting by. That's all that matters, right?"

"But you also need to make sure you're getting by as best as you can," I encouraged. "I know it's easier said than done, but making sure you're actually living and not just surviving is important too."

Murdoc looked back at me and smirked, "You don't have to get mushy with me, (Y/N). I've heard this a lot."

"I know, but I want you to know that if you need somebody to talk to I'm here."

Murdoc's face twisted into confusion. It was as if nobody pushed the way I did, and it honestly hurt me thinking that this could possibly be the first time he's heard something like this in a long time. "Thanks," he said. "I mean it . . . And you can always talk to me as well."

"Thanks, Muds."

All Murdoc did was nod and stand up, starting for the door. "Now, about that hangover cure . . ."

#gorillaz #2-d #Stuart Pot #murdoc niccals #noodle #Russel Hobbs #Damon Albarn #Jamie Hewlett #fanfiction #romance #murdoc x reader #x reader

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firebirdsdaughter · 5 years

Text

Random Writing Tidbit This is Bad…

… New discovery. If you try to edit a ‘read more’ post on mobile? Tumblr erases the whole post.

Okay. Let’s try this again. I still blame this on @thornstone8773 for giving me the idea.

This partially heavily based on a scene from Killjoys. Yes, I am still thinking about Killjoys.

This is set in the ‘human Jin raised by HumaGear Horobi’ AU, and deals w/ after the end, so I kinda inserted general, hazy epilogues for everyone:

In this version, Thouser was the big bad, so after they took him down, Yua took over ZAIA. Fuwa started working w/ Aruto as part of Hiden’s security (partially bc of a comment I saw about him becoming Aruto’s bodyguard and it stuck). Aruto keeps running Hiden Intelligence. Jin and Horobi kinda help him out/are both in rehab/are under his supervision. The promise Horobi mentions later in this essentially boils down to ‘stop trying to cause human extinction/killing humans = BAD.’

You know, the usual.

This comes across as pretty sad… Kinda. Maybe it is.

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For a while after, things were difficult.

He found himself answering the same questions over and over, weathering the same suspicious stares. He didn’t like how people looked at Horobi—like he was was a bomb that they expected to go off at any moment. Aruto had to remind him often that the transition was as hard for everyone else as it was for them. Trust was hard to relearn, for both sides.

For his part, Horobi made an effort. He was generally indifferent to his infamy, already long accustomed to suspicion and coldness from humans—but for his adopted son’s sake, he made deliberate attempts to assuage their fears and fit in. Even when it was clear to anyone who knew he’d rather be in the company of Fuwa—one of the few to whom he felt he had nothing to prove—he’d put on a face to try and keep others at ease. He even tried to smile a few times, though that rarely went over well.

As time went on, however, people stopped staring so much. Months fell away, turning into years. Memory didn’t exactly fade, but altered. There was less fear and more marvel. But that wasn’t the only things that changed.

People who didn’t recognise them would ask if Horobi was his brother, starting at some point in his thirties. Horobi had never paid much mind to such questions to begin with, so Jin often found himself recounting the explanation multiple times, while Horobi hovered like a ghost at his elbow. Out of all of them, Horobi and Izu remained the same; timeless while the humans around them steadily altered. Aruto had to politely force Fuwa, the eldest of them, to retire from his new position as Hiden’s security head when it was clear the demands were too much for him—even after that, though, Fuwa stayed close, watching the Hiden CEO like an unofficial bodyguard. Yaiba was up and about even longer, rustling around ZAIA’s offices like a queen, not slowing down at all. She laughed and said it was because women lived longer—Fuwa shot back that it was because it was her.

Horobi said nothing about the expanding differences in their appearances, merely retuning his hyper awareness of his adoptive son to look for new things, always already offering help before Jin would even know he needed it. He even offered to carry Jin a few times, like he had was Jin was small, but Jin put a stop to that in his early fifties. Horobi was strong enough, but it didn’t seem right anymore. Around then, he also stopped giving proper answers when people misinterpreted their relationship.

When he was in his sixties, he slipped on the sidewalk, and though some passersby rushed forward to help, it was, as always, Horobi who caught him instantly, gently pulling him back up.

“Such a dutiful son!” A woman nearby had exclaimed.

Horobi ignored her, but Jin couldn’t resist glancing over and giving her a small smile. “Yes.” He said, “I am.” Her eyes had bugged out. Later, Horobi hadn’t understood why it was funny—but Horobi never understood why anything was funny.

As he got even older, there was an unspoken tension in the air. For the first time, they were both confronting something neither had considered before; being separated. Horobi, he knew, wouldn’t say anything, still so afraid of accidentally pressuring Jin into something, constantly doubting himself. That meant it fell upon Jin to broker the conversation, something he made plans to do.

Until he started getting sick, and their balance shattered.

The doctors the others dragged him to concluded it was some sort of delayed response to exposure to radiation. Something that had been building in his body all those years at Daybreak that was finally breaking free as he got older and weaker. He considered trying to hide it from Horobi, until Izu looked him in the eye and informed him that if she had noticed, there was no way Horobi hadn’t.

He was quickly confined to a hospital—moving hurt, and he was tired all the. Horobi was, s always, never far away, and the others came to visit often. Yaiba had finally retired—partially, Fuwa would always add with a chuckle until she smacked him with something. Aruto was starting to ease out of his duties as CEO, needing to lean more and more on Izu just to get around. Jin didn’t know what Aruto was planning to do—but he knew the idea he had had, even before the illness set in, and he knew Aruto still had the power to make it happen.

“… It’s possible.” The Hiden CEO admittedly, slowly. “My father…” Aruto trailed off there, and Jin waited patiently for him to find his voice again. Aruto didn’t really talk about his father—at least, not to anyone other than Izu or Fuwa—and it was better not to push him. “… It’s possible.” He finally continued, sighing slightly. “And we’ve made even more advancements in the field. But…” He looked sideways at Jin then. “Are you sure? It’s not exactly something you can take back.” Speaking was effort, but Jin carefully met Aruto’s eyes and nodded. Aruto studied him, then sighed again. “Alright. But there’s someone who wants to talk to you first.” The Hiden CEO shifted his seat to reveal the doorway.

Horobi was standing by Izu’s shoulder, looking distraught, for him.

Jin looked back at Aruto accusingly, dragging his voice out to demand, “You told Horobi?”

A small smile flitted across Aruto’s face. “Well, see, I need parental permission on the form…” He stopped when he saw Jin’s incredulous look. “… You should have told him.” Turning his head, Aruto signalled Izu, who came over and helped him up. “I’ll let you two discuss this,” He told them, “Call me if there’s a decision.” Then he and his secretary made their way out, with his arm around her shoulders, slipping past Horobi and out the door.

For a long time, silence filled the room. Then, slowly, Horobi crossed the floor, sitting beside his bed, and taking Jin’s nearest hand in both of his.

“You don’t have to do this for me.” Horobi’s hands were actually warm on his, unlike the usual room temperature, the HumaGear putting conscious effort into trying to make him as comfortable as possible. “I will stay by your side until the very end, hold your hand when you pass on.” The hold on his hand tightened, though the pressure was, as always, carefully measured so as not to hurt him. “I will remember my promise—I will watch over them, guard them. Justice will be done, cities built, and a future made in your name.” One of the perfectly temperature-controlled hands moved to tenderly touch his cheek. “You are my son. I will be your legacy, and you will not be forgotten.”

He looked back into the HumaGear’s eternally weary eyes. It was hard to remember his younger days, when Horobi had been so hard to read, all blank and ominous. Now detecting the sorrow in those eyes was as natural as breathing—perhaps even more so, by this point. There was also something else there, hiding just behind the thick curtains of forlorn affection; guilt. The like of which he had seen before. “But…?” He prompted softly, voice even hoarser than usual.

Horobi’s gaze faltered, flicking downward.

A laugh bubbled from him, one that even almost sounded like his old childish giggles, just a little more breathless. Even as tired as he was, his lips pulled into a smile. Slowly, he freed one arm from the blankets, reaching over to cup Horobi’s face and gently lift it back up to meet his eyes again. “… But if I leave…” He whispered, running his thumb across the HumaGear’s cheek, “… Horobi will be lonely again.”

Horobi still couldn’t weep—but Jin knew for certain he heard his adoptive father’s breathing hitch.

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… Or, maybe it isn’t.

At least, that ending is supposed to be kinda hopeful. Kinda.

Hopefully it’s also at least kinda clear what Jin’s idea is. I may have made it rather obvious. ^^;

#Random Writing Tidbit #Kamen Rider Zero-One #Evil Scorpion Dad is Best Dad #my precious evil cutie falcon son #my precious evil stoic scorpion dad #my precious angry wolf dad #I actually do gotta go I'm not lying #TAKE TWO #Binary Retro Rider

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