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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

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WIBTA if I told my girlfriend to lose weight?

Okay, so that sounds horrific, but bear with me.

To be clear, I (23M) could not care less what weight she (27F) is or what she looks like. I love this woman with my whole heart and none of it is about her appearance. We’re pretty much engaged in all but name, the only reason it’s not official is because we don’t have money to even think of weddings right now, and I plan to spend the rest of my life with her.

Thing is, she’s obese. Like, medically, not in a derogatory sense. This is massively affecting her health. She’s constantly out of breath, constantly in pain, constantly struggling, and it’s leading to other conditions such as sleep apnea. She thinks she has asthma because she’s always struggling to breathe, but I’m 95% sure it just comes down to weight and her doctor has said the same, but she tends to write it off as doctors being fatphobic.

Much of this is due to the fact that she used to struggle with binge-eating disorder. She no longer binge eats, but she does overeat in general because her body is so accustomed to constant food, so she gets painfully hungry and dizzy after 2-3 hours of not eating.

I’ve tried to encourage her to exercise with me, diet with me, count calories etc., but she gives up super easy when she doesn’t see immediately results. She also says herself that she finds it very difficult to see herself accurately - she has the reverse of “typical” body dysmorphia, where she sees herself as thinner than she is, so she genuinely sees herself as thin or like slightly curvy. (To be clear, she is very visibly obese, people comment on this often, and while I’ll be the first to go fists up if someone’s a dick to her about it as people have been I also am genuinely worried about her health.) Because of that she has no motivation to lose the weight because she just doesn’t see it. It’s bad enough that she’s been told by doctors she WILL likely struggle later in life with heart failure, diabetes etc if she doesn’t lose weight, yet her POV is more, “It can’t be that bad because I’m not that big so I don’t need to worry about it”. She has occasional reality checks, most recently she put her measurements into some site that shows an image of what you look like from a third person perspective, and she was completely shocked like “I can’t look like that. Do I? This is a wake up call”, but days later it’s completely lost and she’s back to saying she’s not that big again.

She wants kids with me, and I just absolutely do not want to commit to having children with her when I know there’s a not-insignificant chance she’ll have serious health issues in the future that could mean she’s not with us for as long as she could be. Both for the kids’ sake, and selfishly because I want her around! I don’t want to think about something happening to her earlier in life and being without her.

But I just don’t know what to do. Gently suggesting it hasn’t worked, saying I’m worried about her health hasn’t worked, saying I don’t want kids until she’s healthy hasn’t worked (even if she’s still overweight I really don’t care as long as she’s not in a “danger zone” y’know?), trying to meal plan with her hasn’t worked, trying to get her to keep track of calories hasn’t worked, trying to exercise with her hasn’t worked.

People I’ve asked in the past have told me to be firm about it, but I’m incredibly reluctant to do that - I struggled with anorexia for most of my teenage and adult life and I know how deep it can cut to have your weight criticised or commented on. I don’t want to be that dick who basically calls someone I love very much unhealthy and fat and tells her to lose weight or no kids or some horrible shit like that.

But I just. Can’t work out what to do. She does express a willingness to lose weight, she says she wants to, she just doesn’t have that motivation to do it. I don’t know what else we can try.

AITA for focusing on this in the first place? Like am I actually just being fatphobic, or is my own past with EDs influencing my thinking? Am I going about it all wrong? Should I just accept it as something that’ll be a potential issue in future and deal with it then or am I fair to worry about it early on?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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oneshlut · 2 months

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Ok, first off, love love Love your yandere Flug headcanons! I am injecting them into my veins as we speak. On that note, could you write something branching off of that base idea but with the twist that reader is 100% supportive of Flug being a yandere? Could be anything from just accepting his love to actively encouraging him to kill people for them. Thank you for your time, hope you have a great day!

A/N: ooh, of course!! i was actually planning to do this with yandere dating hcs for flug since someone had requested for a general pt2 of these hcs, so thanksies for the request!! accepting x yandere is so horrifically adorable <33 (also SO HAPPY you liked my previous hcs!!)

Two of Hearts (Yandere!Dr. Flug x Willing!Reader) [Headcanons]

Rules For Requesting

Characters I Will Write For

Masterlist

WARNINGS: Mentions of homocide, depictions of blood, unhealthy obsessions, yandere themes, general dead dove contents!!

Summary: General headcanons for a yandere Dr. Flug with an accepting/supporting reader for his behavior

Extra Info: This does NOT condemn yandere behaviors irl. Purely fictional scenario, do not support this toxic behavior in others. im sure you all know that though <33

Love can escalate. When it does, it escalates fast. This escalation can range from a proposal in a matter of weeks, a date in a matter of days, to murder in a matter of hours. Often times, Flug's love escalated to murder. He has before for you, and he would again.

Being a "real" villain gives Flug some sort of confidence boost. He hardly stutters, never cowers in fear, and opts to make extremely bold decisions. Decisions he wouldn't normally make. Well, the first and most obvious would be homocide--but he also gains the confidence to confess to you.

He wouldn't dare kidnap you, though! Of course, not if you took it well! Luckily, things didn't have to go that way, since you agreed to be his boyfriend.

Wait, what.

It wasn't that huge of a shock. I mean, he knew you'd either say yes or no, but he was fully prepared to receive a no. I guess that chloroform-laced cloth in his pocket wasn't necessary after all! He was ecstatic to be yours! As long as you didn't find out about anything he was doing, the two of you would hold up well!

Hah, that wouldn't last long. He was confident with himself at first, but now that you're together for real? All his confidence was immediately swept away when you kissed him for the first time--that or when you first told him "I love you". It really made him put things into perspective--he was yours. And you were his. Flug was more lovesick than ever, more than he had realized. It was adorable, watching him trip over himself anytime you walked into the room.

It was now over a month of the two of you being together, and both of you were happy with your relationship! Flug was still pretty confident you wouldn't find out about what he was doing, and you were.. Actually, you were slowly gaining suspicion.

Over time, you began to notice small flaws in his usual behavior. Very small flaws, yes, but not too small to go unseen. Some of these would be nice, such as Flug going out of his way to get you something on an outing. This would be normal, if it wasn't every outing. And on other days, he would just switch up and do the complete opposite--not noticing you when you greeted him, spacing out while just.. staring at you.. or he would respond to you in two word sentences. He was either in a whole other world, or completely caught up in yours. It was distracting how easily he could just.. switch. It put you off, but you decided to ignore it for the most part.

One day, he came home extremely silent. Actually, you hadn't even noticed he had left in the first place. You watched as he retreated to his room--seperate from his lab. Not even a hello, nor an answer to your simple questions as he walked. You began to fear that he was ignoring you. What could you have done wrong..? That, or he was just spacing out again, which felt a bit unlikely.

Slowly gaining curiosity, you decided to take a small visit to his lab. Maybe 5.0.5. knew something? In all honesty, you weren't just "curious".. you were worried. Unfortunately, taking this visit to his lab didn't help with that feeling of worry at all. Opening the door with a painfully loud creak, you were stunned to find the place in shambles. It wasn't messy in the way it looked like a break-in--no, it looked man made. Some of the lights were turned off, his materials were scattered over his multiple desks, many syringes laid out across the floor--most still had chemicals in them. Watching your step, you made your way to his main workplace, the mess being no different from the rest of the lab. Unlabeled papers of research and crumpled up papers laid sprawled out on his desk. The entire scene was extremely unusual of him--he was always so in order, so organized, sometimes he'd have panic attacks when things were out of order! And yet.. it looks like Dr. Flug made this mess of his lab himself. Sure, you hadn't been to his laboratory in a while, but how much could he have done to his space in that time? Saying the situation was confusing would be an understatement.

But out of everything in the room, one thing stood out to you the most. His closet--normally nice and organized.. it was now dirty, rustic, and one of the latches on the door was now broken. The atmosphere around it was.. intimidating, to say the least. The inside was extremely dark, with some of the darkness spilling out into the already dim laboratory. Hesitantly, you approached it, opening the unbroken door.

It looked somewhat like you suspected--heaps of clothes on the floor of the closet, instead of neatly hung up. Things were looking normal.. except for the blood on some of the clothes. Your mouth silently gaped open as to not draw much attention as you crouched down to inspect the clothes. Horrified, you found many more pieces of clothing with blood. Actually the whole pile. And it wasn't looking like it was his blood--no, it wasn't seeped into the clothes from the inside. It was splattered on, it was somebody else's.

You took a few shaky steps back. This wasn't real. It couldn't be. Flug wouldn't.. kill people, right? Part of you was open to the idea--he was a villain, after all. But he never went out of his way to kill..

You looked down at your now bloody palms. He wouldn't kill anyone in this fashion, either. ..Would he? Was he really that.. gruesome of a person? And you had no idea..?

While caught up and reeling in your own thoughts, you lacked the attention to notice Dr. Flug approaching you.

The last thing you remembered was blacking out.

Dr. Flug never intended for you to find out about any of this. The mess of his mental state, the mess of his lab, and the mess he's been making of.. other people. Maybe he could develop a mind erasing serum? Or.. would that be too easy? Perhaps he could just manipulate you into believing it was all a dream.. Either way, he was glad that chloroform-laced cloth came in handy after all.

So, as far as he knew, you would definitely not be supportive of what he was doing. He was doing all this for a misunderstanding in his eyes. You're always full of surprises, though. That's what he loves about you.

When he found out that you were totally okay with his obsessive tendencies, perhaps even supportive, Flug was completely over the moon. If it was possible to fall even deeper in love than he already was, he definitely did at that moment.

Knowing this, he doesn't keep you to himself. Now that he knows how much you love him in return, he has no reason to not trust you! Things can finally start going back to normal.. if uh.. homocide and killing sprees count as "normal" to you.

He's either smothering you with attention or as shy as a mouse. There's two sides of Dr. Flug that clash with each other when it comes to you. He wants to be forward with you--confident, mainly. But when he does, he backs out, becoming immediately flustered. Honestly, when the idea of you enjoying the idea of him killing for you settled into him.. he almost passed out. You really did make him the happiest scientist in the world.

The fact that you supported his actions just made him all the more confident about himself. Sometimes a bit upstuck. You thought what he was doing was righr, why shouldn't he? Whenever he killed someone, he no longer felt remorse. Instead, he felt excited to tell you what he did when he got home. And every time, you would give him the same praise and reassurance. Believe me, Flug is a sucker for praise.

Dr. Flug likes to brag to you about the horrible, awful things he's done. Sure, he loves praise, but actually recieving it makes him extremely flustered. Any "Good job" or "I'm proud of you" made him crumble on the inside. You were gonna be the death of him one of these days.

The two of you prefer to keep your relationship a secret for now and the forseeable future. After all, if Dr. Flug had got himself caught when murdering for you, you would be in trouble for just being associated with him. He wouldn't want that! Not in a million years. But of course, he would never let that happen.

Turns out, this seemed to be the best ending. I mean, who knows what would've happened if you denied him your love? Well, Flug would probably just develop a love potion of sorts. Either way, he's absolutely ecstatic things turned out this way. Despite the obviously very unhealthy relationship, the two of you were happy.. and that's all that mattered.

..Right?

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celluloidbroomcloset · 4 months

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Completely unrelated to the cancelation!

Since you like writing meta I thought this would interest you. Someone on Reddit asked about the meaning of the line "I'm the Devil and these are the kids" and someone answered something I never saw discussed before, which was to link Ed's patricide to him turning himself into a symbolic father figure to the crew to get them to commit patricide on him. I thought that was a fascinating read of the situation, because it puts into perspective that Ed knew what his father did to trigger the Kraken and he could be trying to replicate this to get himself killed. Would recommend reading the original comment because I'm paraphrasing a lot and they explained it so much better.

Do you have any thoughts on this?

(Love the new tattoo btw!)

Ah, that's a really interesting interpretation.

I think there's a lot to be said about fatherhood generally in OFMD, which in turn feeds into the toxic masculinity themes and the whole idea of how to be a man - Ed and Stede's abusive fathers, Jim's murdered father, Stede as an absent father, Izzy and Hornigold as father figures, Ed and Stede as the "dads" to the crew, Stede's murder of Ned as related to Ed's murder of his father, etc.

The whole concept of being a captain, as the show presents it, is being responsible for the people on the ship, which in itself can be a parental role - in Ed's case, it's a role that wears him down, because he feels he cannot stop or show weakness or vulnerability. He and Stede become the parents when they become co-captains - they take pressure off each other, and they both become happier, better people and the crew becomes more functional. Then things shift in Season 2 (though I like that Frenchie and Jim are still calling them "captains" - I'm going to have think more about this, because there's a lot going on there).

In terms of Ed specifically typing himself as the monstrous father to get the crew to kill him...I think there's a lot in that. He's essentially trying to become the thing he hates because he knows that will drive people to murder - it's literally the only thing that has made him kill with his own hands. It also feeds into his notion of himself as unlovable, destined to become the father he murdered. He thinks he's trapped in this horrific cycle from which Stede's love, he thought, gave him a way out.

So much of Season 2, actually, is Ed learning that he is not his father (or any of the monstrous fathers he's had in his life) and that he does not have to repeat the cycle of violence. He can choose to break it.

(He also learns that certain kinds of violence can be used to protect the people he loves - his murder of his father was to protect his mother; he puts Blackbeard on again to protect Stede.)

#ofmd #reply #our flag means death #ofmd meta #edward teach #ed teach #izzy hands #hornigold #there's a lot here #i have a half-finished meta about monstrous fathers #gotta find it again

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azreactstowormtheserial · 4 months

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Overboard [8.1-11.8]

SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE SCROLL WHEN YOU HIT KEEP READING

--Yeah... Sorry for not keeping to that 'one arc at a time' promise. But whilst I'm in medical-recovery mode I have nothing better to do than Worm [The Serial] my afternoons away.

And look at that! I'm 1/3 through all of the main story. At least, by Arc-No. ? My friend said come the end of Arc 8, I'd graduated from 'Early Worm'. Should I be scared or happy to be gradually approaching 'Late Worm'?

Speaking of.

ARC 8 -- EXTERMINATION

Title Accurate.

ARC 9 -- SE

Okay, okay. I'll talk about Arc 8. It's a little weird to talk about as a whole. Way easier in the moment, reacting to things as they happen.

"1 in 4 of you (at least) will die."

Tattletale "down".

Aegis, Gallant, Iron Falcon, Mr. G,

Taylor -breaking her spine -- she could have died!

And I thought I couldn't handle the stress of the inter-group dynamic potentially crumbling at the end of Arc 7. Don't worry, we'll get to that.

The endbringers are a terrifying concept. Like, what do you do? Wear it down, hundreds dying to prevent hundreds of thousands from dying, only for it to recover for a few years, months, who knows-- before it attacks somewhere else, almost unprompted?

Almost. I have no idea what it was doing, edging slowly towards Coil's base like a fucking NGE Angel. That's almost as scary.

It just, picked people off. Indiscriminantly.

Kaiser. A powerful, influential-- horrible excuse for a human being, but still, a major player-- he's just dead! Just like that!

I'd started to like a few of The Wards towards the the end of Arc 6, I think. At first it was easy to group them into a 'haha these kids don't know any better, they're really snot-nosed about being heroes'-- which feels a lot nicer a label than what's actually happening.

They're just kids! 15, 16, Vista is 13. 13! Kids that've had a traumatic past, in one way or another. Up against, and dying to, an existential threat. Sentinel really helped put this into perspective.

I'd love to talk about individual moments that I thought were cool; Tattletale's analysis of Leviathan, The truce between heroes and villains, Clockblocker absolutely stepping the fuck up and pretty much clutching the entire fight. But I need to talk about Armsmaster.

(These few lines saved me.)

ARMSMASTER. You horrific excuse for a human being. Jeopardizing CHILDREN'S LIVES, YOUR COMRADES LIVES, PEOPLE'S LIVES-- AND FOR WHAT!?!?!?!?

WAIT NO STOP NO

I absolutely hate this fucking guy. How do you ruin everything in the middle of a natural(?) disaster killing thousands.

(Did I mention Shadow Stalker is Sophia. Huh. That's interesting! I'm sure it won't come up again.)

The arc ends really bittersweet.

I'm really sorry, Bitch. Showing up and saving Taylor was an amazing moment, but that's over half of your closest family, just gone.

But, I totally called it.

I know I wanted to take a break after all that, but I couldn't just leave it at "I told her my answer." -- I had to find out what it was!! So, after a few hours of psyching myself up, I got straight into the Interlude.

ARC 8 -- INTERLUDE [COIL]

How do you beat Coil? What -happened- to Coil to give him this power? Applied perfectly, his power makes him practically invulnerable. One of his only weak points being the immediacy after closing his second universe.

I still don't know how to feel about Coil. He's said in vague terms that his plan for Brockton Bay was to improve. Taylor, I think, took this to mean that people's livelihoods would be better. People would have food, shelter, water. But it's so difficult to tell, even with a direct view into his mind like this interlude gave. All I know is that this is a plan he's put a considerable amount of time and his life towards-- it has to mean a lot to him and he has to be strong in his ideals. I only hope that he isn't utterly insane.

Because if he is? If his motives are 'evil', unjust-- if you can even say they have the potential to be just, with how he operates-- I don't know if anyone can beat him.

...

Shit.

ARC 9 -- SENTINEL

This arc was nice. The breather I needed, and was worried I wouldn't get, after Arc 8's Interlude.

I mentioned that I'd started to like The Wards a little earlier in the story, so the emotional beats really worked here for me. And even if I didn't, this arc'd easily have been a turning point.

\=====

[Az.Interlude: Obligatory Wards (And Co.) Tier List]

Bold means #1 in each thing if there's more than 1.

S [Super :)] - Flechette, Glory Girl, ****Shadow Stalker****, Vista

A [A cool character] - *Clockblocker, Gallant, Kid Win, Panacea, ****Weld***

B [Baegis Tier] - Aegis

C [Cant Remember] - Browbeat

(Sorry Browbeat, who apparently died offscreen in Arc 8.)

\====

I say it's nice, but really we're just seeing a few kids grieve the deaths of their friends. Is that what 'nice' is, in Worm?

Sophia/Shadow Stalker is growing into a more and more interesting character. Though everyone got their fair share of attention, I found her scenes, like the one with Flechette in 9.2, quite interesting.

I* think something really awful happened to Shadow Stalker. *

A lot of my thoughts on Arc 9 I think are just snippets at characters I like. I really liked Weld, and felt 'kinda bad for him. He's trying his best! He's just walking into all this mess.

Vista's chapter made me cry. She's so strong for standing up to Shadow Stalker like that! And the story's tackling on trying to 'fill in' somebody's role after they've passed really hit me like a freight train.

\====

[Az.Interlude 2: Now Obligatory Protectorate (and Dragon) Tier List]

S [This is actually based off of the arc 10 interlude, wait for that.] - Dragon

A [Assault- Oh] - Miss Militia

B [Battery] - Battery

C [Cool? I think?] - Assault, Triumph, Velocity

D ['Dunno] - [Anyone who I haven't remembered. I don't know that many...]

F [Fucking Armsmaster] - Guess who

\====

9.3 was a nifty chapter, too. It's probably the only instance of a 'character are bored in an exposition-lecture' that I've actually thought was pretty well done?

Also, it's nice to get some Clockblocker characterisation. He gets a pass for his flaws because of his context. I do hope his dad ends up getting healed-- but the scenario as a whole really makes me feel for Amy/Panacea. There's so much suffering in the world, and it's -technically- preventable. Just through her. How much of a weight on her shoulders is that?

\====

[Az.Interlude 3: Favorite Arcs]

S - [Super Good Arc] [4. Shell] [8. Extermination] [9. Sentinel] [10. Parasite.]

A [A really good Arc] - [11. Infestation] [6. Tangle] [7. Buzz]

B [Breally good] - [1. Gestation] [2. Insinuation] [3. Agitation]

\====

(See what I'm doing there, by the way? Interlude Arc? Load of Interlude Tier lists? Whatever.) KID WIN ADHD TINKER REP!!!!

I think that's my cue to hop on over to

ARC 10 -- PARASITE

Okay, sure, sure-- Taylor's back, but on uneasy terms, swallowing her pride, sure--

ALEC. ALEC! I THOUGHT YOU JUST MADE PEOPLE TRIP! And I thought even how -that- power was utilized was a little horrifying. This is just... I mean. I'll talk about it some more in the interlude.

Hi Imp! It's nice to meet you! Where'd you come from? Or maybe she was here the whole time, and that's her power--

Imp's neat. I like her power, and I'm hoping we see more of her! She doesn't quite live up to the rest of the gang just yet, but, I mean-- they've been around 9 more arcs. I was wondering if The Undersiders were going to recruit some more members...

This Arc's short but sweet. An infiltration à la the bank robbery, some fights with some superheroes-- and, Dragon!!! Dragon is so cool!!! I love Dragon!!!! We'll get there!!!!

I expected Bitch and Taylor to have a proper confrontation about everything, but... She really just sabotaged her mid-mission? Taylor's beatdown of her was unfortunately deserved-- like, c'mon. You're hurt. More than any of the others, really. But you didn't even 'eye for an eye' her, you went ahead and 'eye for a head' or whatever the relevant saying'd be. I

*really

* hope she takes her up on that offer.

Everything was going alright, even if Dragon'd appeared and made the escape a little tricky. And, oh. A meeting with Coil. Maybe Taylor can hash things out, and come up with a deal that reflects her--

So. That's one way to make an impression of a new overarching villain group. What the actual fuck, Jack. The absolute balls of this reveal-- I have no idea what to make of it, and already Jack just in how he's been described in passing, and-- this-- already made me clock him as a huge threat. I can't wait to see how this goes. I'm sure it'll go great. I'm sure.

ARC 10 -- INTERLUDE [ALEC]

Alec, alecalecalec-- What the actual fuck. I really should have thought twice when Lisa clocked you as a sociopath on first sight. This chapter was scary. Even Sophia doesn't deserve that. The "breach of privacy" -- if you can even -call- it that, with how far it went, made me sick to my stomach.

It's 'kinda crazy that this is just something that continued word-for-word from an earlier chapter. What else has happened directly after Taylor's POV left a scene? What has she missed?

I'm sure this won't come back to bite Taylor in the ass.

Or that.

I think something really awful happened to Shadow Stalker. [2]

Even after all that. I still like Alec. I think. In his own, fucked up, twisted way, he's getting payback for Taylor. He just has no limit. And, I mean-- he is still a kid. That had a horrendous, abuse-ridden upbringing. I don't know. I'm allowed to have complicated feelings about the main cast!

ARC 10 -- INTERLUDE [DRAGON]

Dragon, on the other hand, is objectively fucking cool. She's not even human! What?! It's 2011! Or something like that. I'm a bit of a dork for the 'kinda stuff that the opening third of this chapter was. That it was layered with limitations, purposeful, intended ones that dig under Dragon's skin at all times-- that she's keeping this a secret from even her closest co-workers-- only made me root for her character even more. I'm hoping she's, uh. 'One of the good ones'? Is that how you'd put it? Weird considering she's a hero, but--

*Armsmaster. *Come on.

Oh, look. It came back to bite Taylor in the ass.

Taylor in Arc 11 ruminates on how she'd face losing her civillian identity. But I don't think she quite understands the ramification of it just yet. This is the beginning of the end, in that regard-- Dragon found her.

I'll try not to gush about an interlude too much just to get to Arc 11 and wrap up this post before the day's over, so I'll just leave it at:

*The conversation between Lung and Marquis was very interesting. ****I hope Amy is okay.***

Arc 11 -- INFESTATION (I haven't read the interludes yet! I thought the final base-11 was a good place to stop.)

The Merchants are pretty fucked up, huh? 'Might makes Right' as an actual group philosphy never works. And I don't think the leader's are -that- stupid. I wonder what their deal is?

And, yeah. I'll finally bring it up, Worm. You've got me. *I'm interested in whatever the fuck Case 53 is. *And so is Faultine, apparently. Let's hope they stay in touch with Lisa.

Skitter taking over her territory was rad. She'll make a great monarch! (Queen bee? Is there an insect joke you can make here?)

Whatever my views about how things should be handled, Taylor's helping people in the here and now, and keeping groups like The Merchants out. Helping families. I think what she's doing is right.

And, for once, it all works out! Not without a hitch. Or an underlying dread. Taylor being the arbiter of one of the more straight up 'bad' Merchant's fate is a little telling that her moral's have shifted, somewhat. She's more comfortable leaving someone to die than insisting they have the right to a fair trial, etc-- even if the situtation did totally call for it.

Faultline's crew showing up was neat. I don't think I've mentioned Labyrinth, actually. Her and Newter are my favorite of Faultline's crew. I might go back and re-read Gregor's interlude, just for another look at how Faultline runs things.

And, my god. Brian finally picked up some slack, after some nudging via Lisa. Good on her. The dynamic needs some work from the both of them to build up the trust they once had. But they'll be friends in no time. I hope. Everything's working out.

...

*Oh my god, No, Taylor you can't ****say it!***

Everything is going to go to shit, isn't it?

I don't want to read on anymore. Can't it stop right here? Taylor won, got her friends back? Please?

See you all on the other side. Promise it won't take as long.

#worm liveblog #worm spoilers #worm web serial #wormblr #liveblog

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kanansdume · 1 year

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I was really rooting for a well-done Bo-Katan redemption arc in this season. As weird as it was that Bo-Katan just sort-of took over as the main character of the show and sidelined Din, I've been wanting someone to focus on Bo-Katan's motivations and history for a while now and it seemed like we were primed to get it.

And in some ways, we did. We heard more about her relationship with her father and her faith, which definitely helps put a few things in perspective! I appreciate that!

But in other ways, we didn't. Not once did they actually have Bo-Katan or anyone else actually acknowledge the truly horrific things she's done or how she was the one who helped bring down Mandalore. Since the memory of her taking the Creed sort-of makes it near impossible for her to have joined up with Death Watch as a teenager and far more reasonable for her to have done it in her late 20s if not early 30s, she was fully aware of what she was doing when she made that choice. And she's refusing to take responsibility for that.

We're also not truly acknowledging all of Bo-Katan's FAILED attempts at leadership, from the way she had to rely on the clones and Ahsoka and the Republic to clean up her own mess with Maul, to being handed the Darksaber by Sabine only to lose it like a year later, and then to trying to find the Darksaber again afterwards only for all of her followers to completely abandon her the moment Din won the Darksaber instead. She's never been able to save Mandalore on her own, she's never been able to lead Mandalore into success or peace, and despite not really seeing any sudden growth or development in that area, I'm supposed to believe she's the Chosen One who will unite all of Mandalore now because she saw a rare creature in the water.

We see Bo-Katan lead a war party twice, sure, but she's ALWAYS been good at violence and war, so that's not exactly evidence of actual good leadership because she had that before and still failed over and over again.

What I want is to see Bo-Katan actually acknowledge the mistakes she made and recognize that the reason she failed was due to arrogance and a desire to live up to her father's high standards and expectations of her. What I want is for Bo-Katan to recognize why Satine was opting for pacifism and non-violence and try to find a middle ground between her respect for Mandalorian warrior traditions and Satine's attempts to stop the violence that was destroying them. I wanted to see more build-up to the whole "walks in both worlds" comment. I know we're 5 episodes in already, so things have to get moving, but I feel like we skipped steps and rushed this conclusion to her arc.

They don't have time to truly let her develop and grow because we're wasting time on this Imperial/New Republic bullshit that doesn't have any impact on the Mandalorians and shouldn't be here. We lost an entire episode to that storyline that could've been spent elsewhere. We should've had at LEAST one more episode with Bo-Katan bonding with the covert before getting to this point, let Bo-Katan acknowledge her mistakes more so that when she agrees to take up an attempt at leadership for a FOURTH time, I believe that this is something new rather than the same thing she's done the entire time.

I don't think Bo-Katan can move forward without acknowledging her history, who she's been, and what she's done. Pretending as though she's done nothing is an insult to the complexity her character could have if the writers were brave enough to allow it. Maybe they'll still have it happen in the upcoming three episodes, but at this point I'm a little skeptical.

#bo-katan kryze #star wars #the mandalorian #the mandalorian season 3 #the mandalorian s3 #mando s3 #the mandalorain spoilers #the mandalorian season 3 spoilers #the mandalorian s3 spoilers #mando s3 spoilers

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crazycrippledqueer · 2 years

Text

Been thinking more on the whole seeing alters as people vs. parts thing. I think there tends to be an assumption that treating ourselves as parts instead of people means we don’t get individuality. It’s quite the opposite for us actually.

It wasn’t until we fully came to the conclusion that we’re parts of a whole that we really started to feel comfortable in our individuality. Before, every thing we were felt inadequate. Because we aren’t whole people (until you put us all together). We felt hollow, one dimensional, empty, like none of us individually had much substance beyond trauma responses.

Turns out that’s because a lot of us are closer to the fragment side of the spectrum! As we’ve grown to accept & embrace our wholeness together, the act of being an individual has gotten easier, more natural, even relaxing. We don’t have to try to be whole people. I can do my weird ass thing that no other parts like & do nothing else! What freedom!

Through our acceptance of being parts, not people, we have learned how to rely on each other. We’ve learned how to work with our own & each other’s issues, traumas, emotions, etc. Instead of picking out individuals to try and achieve success, we work together more like an ecosystem. You may not be able to identify every part, but every part (no matter how small) has an essential unique role to play.

All those roles, all those parts come together to make us a whole ecosystem, a whole person. We are proud to be parts. We’ve kept ourselves alive through horrific experiences. We embrace our individuality & oneness simultaneously.

I think that duality is beautiful & we are so thankful for it!

Note: This is our own personal experience. This is not a “i’m right and if you disagree you’re wrong” post; it’s just our own experiences & perspectives on the matter.

#actually did #did #osdd #polyfragmented did #osddid #mine

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georgieluz · 7 months

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getting a few things off my chest about Gen Kill. sorry im in your inbox. but i am. you can publish this ask or keep it in the DM, both are fine.

First, actually the hardest series to watch in all three shows for me. I'm ok with the level of violence in the other two (as well as other trigger-warning content) but the level of civilian casualty in GK just really fuck with me. I find it very hard to want to rewatch GK, even tho I do like the show a lot.

Second, Both TP and GK, for me, are the anti-thesis and deconstruction of BoB. In two different ways. TP talks about another theater and how fucked up these stories are and basically pushes the audience away. Don't look, it's not a story to share (vs BoB that invite you to take part and be with the characters). GK is the modern day glory-seeking meaningless chaotic and toxic reality of the US military (vs BoB's fighting for the right thing, our officers are smart and capable). And they're both meta answers to BoB's more propagandistic story.

Third, ok, let's get silly lol. I have to say whatever is going with Brad and Nate is fucking homo. "Not to be homo sir, but I can kiss you right now" um what. And the eyes contact. Bro. Bruh. That being said... I ship BradRay xD Their bantering old-married-couple dynamic is more my speed, than BradNate victorian yearning dynamic xD

hello, no worries, it's all good, my inbox is always open for thoughts, insights and opinions! this got pretty long so i'm gonna put it under a read more so it doesn't annoy anyone

i published this bc i ended up adding a lot of my own thoughts about it and didn't want it to seem like i was directing them specifically at you or your opinion bc i do go off track a lot.

it was the hardest series for me to get into as well at first, for a similar few reasons. first of all, it felt like i was being dropped into a locked room with men who would hate my guts, and not just have bullied me in high school, but detest my existence too. so i think that atmosphere of over the top toxic masculinity instantly made me uneasy, but that's the point. that's the whole reason the articles, book and show exists really. to show how that mindset and atmosphere laid the groundwork for what happened. i think if they were to have made a show where we as viewers are allowed to laugh along with their jokes, enjoy their interactions, but not be forced to confront the realities of both the invasion and the people taking part, then it would defeat the message and themes that the show is trying to present to us. i think the civilian death, and basically the way the military treated civilians in general, has to make you uncomfortable, otherwise it's not doing its job as a text or piece of media. at least from the writer's perspective and what they wanted to say about what happened there, bc ultimately, everything is a construct with biases and a goal. so i 100% agree with you in that it's easily the most uncomfortable show to casually watch in that regard, but if it didn't show all of that, it wouldn't be a show with a purpose, imo.

i would personally put the pacific a bit closer to band of brothers than gen kill when it comes to discussing its propagandism actually. bc whilst it has the caveat of "this is the reality and brutality of war, it's horrific, you don't want any part of it" and "it's not all camaraderie and brothers being bonded for life", the show still has its 'heroes' who are depicted as sacrificing either their lives or their mental wellbeing for 'the cause', and it still carries the message of "yes this is terrible but it's needed". two things that propagandist themes can thrive amongst. just reading some of the more bootlickery youtube comments about the pacific shows how some of those people cling onto the brutality and harshness of that theatre of war, and the show itself, as a display of heroic bravery and badge of honour. i've seen a few commenters on reaction videos and stuff and they're basically frothing at the mouth about how it's so much more brutal than band of brothers, and they aren't saying it from a critical perspective either, which is what the show may have intended, but more from a "omg brutal war porn nice!!" kinda way. i know i'm rambling off point from what you said, but it's just some of my thoughts. i'm probably gonna ramble a bit in the rest of the post so don't see it as me disagreeing with your points bc i think we have pretty much the same opinion in most ways, but i guess your ask has prompted a lot of thinking from me so i'm just getting some of my thoughts out about the shows.

i think for me, i would say the pacific is a stepping stone between band of brothers and generation kill. i do agree in that it is pushing the viewer away from the idea of war as noble, in favour of saying "no! it's dirty and cruel and harsh and you won't survive it, even if you're alive when it's over" but it's also presented in the same way as band of brothers in regards to how we're supposed to view these men. there's many competent and intelligent guys making decisions and the humanity of those men is always on display. they're still shown as heroes, even if they're broken ones. so i think i can't fully align it with gen kill as a direct opposition to the messaging in band of brothers, but more one that says "ok, we've seen it from that perspective, now let's open up the casket up a little more and try to understand it looking through another lens".

whereas for me, gen kill sets explosives in the casket and blows that shit to pieces. there are no noble heroes competently achieving great feats, or sacrificing their lives for 'the greater good'. the people who do die, or get wounded, are seen as wasted casualties and missions gone wrong, fuck ups that we see in the corner of exterior shots to remind us that it's not all singing avril lavigne in a humvee, that there are consequences, even for the invaders. we see the destruction they inflict on civilians constantly, but the marines that get wounded/die are essentially proof of the incompetencies and fuck ups that even the most militaristic audience has to admit to.

the line of morality is non-existent, apart from a few people that we meet, but they have no power whatsoever. they can't actually do anything even if they disagree with what's happening. they stand by and they watch. we get nate who hates it, very clearly, but his whole thing is that he literally can't do anything. he has no actual power or impact on anything there. i saw a meme on here a few days ago where it was like "i'm competent at my job but i'm starting to think i'm just decorative" and it's funny and just a silly meme but it's also kind of the truth. we see him make a few decisions that go over the head of the initial orders, etc, but in the big picture, they have so little effect that it's a drop in the ocean comparatively. so the little competency we do have is ineffective. and even the more authoritative roles within the narrative that we get to see, like ferrando, are shown as not just making bad decisions, but actually not having much control over matters themselves. they're all floundering from top to bottom. there's no basilone or winters or ack ack there to make us sigh with relief as viewers bc finally, someone will make things right, make the right choice, do the right thing. instead we have these very complex people who have a lot of messed up flaws and shit within them, but some realistic relatabilities too. and sure, a good few of them want to do better and will call out certain shit they see in different ways (doc bryan, nate, espera, brad) but ultimately, they're forced to not just watch and let it happen, but a lot of the time, take part and be culpable for those actions too.. and it's not depicted as a noble sacrifice of their morality, it positions them as helpless and incapable. so the viewer doesn't get their usual hbo war heroes, which to me, feels like a direct answer to both band of brothers and the pacific in that kind of way.

i feel like walt's character shows us that (on a surface level basis but still). he's presented to us as the more appealing contrast to trombley. they're both young and in brad's team, two sides of a coin you could say bc we're shown immediately that trombley is the problem child and walt is the pretty golden boy that spends his scenes telling brad to get some rest or trying to fix the dodgy equipment they've got, or essentially is just trying to be helpful. but they both fuck up bad and kill civilians as an individual. we don't get to keep our clean innocent pretty boy. he fucks up. bad. his hands aren't clean. none of theirs are. not nate's, not even doc bryan's. he says that himself. walt clearly feels terrible afterward and that's the difference between him and trombley (though i will say i do think trombley is much more complex than we see on the surface), but walt doesn't get to escape the blood on his hands. even the most seemingly "innocent" characters never get to remain that in this show. there are no heroes.

and then the second point i mentioned above about the message of "yes was is terrible but needed sometimes" is the other thing that gen kill throws away and abandons. nothing, not a single thing, is depicted as needing to happen. yeah, they're told it's needed and honestly, a lot of those marines were brainwashed into believing it, but the whole point is that it wasn't. it was a colossal fuck up in every way and the show holds up a massive flashing neon sign showing us exactly how, but from the ground.

so absolutely fully agree with you that this show is positioned as a meta deconstruction to band of brothers themes, and even the pacific, especially when the shows are presented as a package deal, as hbo war so often is. it's all a lot more nuanced than what i've said bc i've just been rambling AGAIN, but i think there's a lot of dialogue going on between the three shows when you analyse them from further away that is really interesting to discuss.

so yup, definitely agree with what you said and thank you for dropping by my inbox to talk about this kinda stuff with me! i'm sorry if i went into too much detail or overtook this ask with my own opinions or anything but yeah. i think we all know by now that i tend to ramble when asked about anything!

NOW ONTO THE FUN PART!

it genuinely feels like bradnate have taken up residence in a very large part of my brain. i had heard a lot of people mentioning bradray on here before i watched, so i was expecting that to be the main 'ship' of the show, and kinda thought i'd probably end up getting onboard with that, but i actually only got platonic besties vibes from them. i'm always down for as much gay as possible, so i support it, but i just don't really see anything outside of platonic love between them? i do really enjoy their relationship and interactions though, and some of their scenes are my absolute favourites.

but i'm ALL about the victorian repression and yearning, so ofc bradnate is where it's at for me. as a gay man who repressed all his emotions growing up it just calls to me like a siren lmao. i think that's why i'm like a feral little gremlin about nate actually

#one day i will stop answering asks with 2k word essays but that day is very clearly not today!#once again i apologise to the people of my dash #at least i put a read more on this one #julian's inbox

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yoinkschief · 2 months

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SPEAKING OF CREEPYPASTAS can you yap about coronation day pls blink blink

Now THAT is a creepypasta I do OUUGHH IT'S SO GOOD

Content warning: this game has a lot of talk about cannibalism and cult behaviors

Usually I'm not super duper into Mario creepypastas just cause I'm not super duper into Mario and because most of them are not much more than "Mario but,,, he's EVIL" and that's kinda upsetting

ESPECIALLY when compared to Coronation Day (also known as 'the) holy fuck

Coronation Day is,, it's like it's own Mario game honestly, and it sucks that it was as short as it was (roughly an hour of playtime to get all the different endings) especially since the creative team had to cut some content due to time constraint

Honestly it's a fantastic game, truly one of the scarier horror games, especially for being a Mario ROM Hack creepypasta

There's a great video by Hey Peter on the entire thing (link), and he goes really into detail about it and it's creation - which by the way, was a THREE PERSON TEAM, you have to understand that they did all their own music, coding, story and visuals !! Which is insane !!! So I totally understand them feeling the need to release the game "before it was fully finished" or before they were able to put everything they wanted into it

Still though, it's so frustrating how vague things can be at times because IT'S SO GOOD, but it's hard to tell who's talking in the snippets that pop up along the playthrough, and it's kind of hard to tell the exact timeline of the story trying to be told, like I wish I knew exactly what happened to Mario after Peach was "coronated", I wish I knew who this fourth person was who is talking about the whole scene from a different perspective from Peach, Mario and the King, I WISH I KNEW WHO THE KING WAS !! That one keeps me up, I REALLY wish I knew who the King was, if it's a Mario character or if it's a completely separate entity - and I want to know more about his cult

The worst thing about this whole scenario is that the people who worked on it keep it so close to their chest, this is an OLDDDD creepypasta, as far as creepypastas go anyway, but even to this day they're all radio silent about what exactly this game is about, if any theories people have made are true or false, ANYTHING

But seriously it's such a good creepypasta, it has the obligatory mention of horrific acts like cannibalism and cult kidnappings, but it doesn't do it in a shock value way, like for the story they're trying to tell it works so well, it's not a "and if you press start start up down down left right a b a b princess peach is HEADLESS RAHHH" like it genuinely has components of an actual storyline and ciphers and puzzles, it's REALLY GOOD, it's everything you'd want from a creepypasta game

I can't say enough good things about Coronation Day honestly, again Hey Peter's video has a much more in depth telling of this games story and playthrough, but oh my God it's so good more people should know about this

#TW // mentions of cannibalism #TW // mentions of cult behaviors and kidnappings #CORONATION DAY IS SO GOOD THO #'the / Coronation Day (Mario ROM Hack Creepypasta)#jay answers #i know i said I'm not sorry into creepypastas but THIS #things like this are the exception

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thornfield13713 · 1 year

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97 + 12 Fiddlestan

Okay!

So, I'm going to hew pretty close to the canon setting for this one, because...I like it. So, where are they travelling from? Or to? I lean towards this being a Weirdmageddon thing - the plan fails, and Bill is victorious, and decides to mark his victory by scattering the consciousnesses of his victims across time...thereby inadvertently sowing the seeds of his own destruction, but...that is the way it tends to go.

So, the mind that ends up farthest back is Ford Pines, who wakes up in his bed at Backupsmore with the memories of the apocalypse fresh in his mind. The first thing he wants to do is call his brother, whom he last saw being horrifically ripped apart molecule by molecule in front of him before Ford met the same fate. It takes him fully half an hour to remember...right. Cellphones haven't been invented yet. And he has no idea where Stan is or what he could be doing. Nor does he have the resources to go looking. He can work to avert the apocalypse - he'll work hard, go back to Gravity Falls, and this time he'll know better than to play into Bill's hands, might even be able to find some way to put an end to that infuriating triangle-man for good. He has to go back to Gravity Falls, because if it's not him, Bill will find some other sucker, and they won't know what Ford does. They won't be able to handle the situation as well as Ford could. He doesn't need to find his brother to save the world.

But. He can't stop thinking about it anyway. About how Stanley looked when he arrived at the sh- at Ford's house. About the hints let slip, years later, about what his life before that had been like. About Stanley spending thirty years working to bring Ford home and - all right, succeeding at the worst possible moment, but...looking back now, with the perspective of having lost his brother horrifically before they could make any sort of real amends...that was a lot of work. So, he goes looking, as best he can. He might save up for a private detective or similar, because the 1970s were kind of short on means to track people down, and Ford is really feeling the loss of the internet he had been starting to get used to in the 2010s.

He doesn't get the money together until he's in post-grad, and even then, it takes a while, particularly as Stan keeps changing addresses and adopting new identities. Eventually, though, Ford finds him. In prison in Texas, okay, but...alive. He has to go in person, citing a family emergency and skipping out in the middle of term-time, to visit, and the look on Stan's face on the other side of the glass is enough to tell Ford that...he's alone here. This is the Stan of this time, hungry and desperate and not quite believing what he sees and god, he's so young, how did Ford never process how young he was when he got kicked out before? They talk, anyway. Ford tells Stan what he's been doing, hears a...very much censored and played for laughs version of Stan's own recent years...and then Ford leaves, with a promise to come back in a month or so, the next time he can get away from his studies. Stan, who had been planning a jailbreak, ends up serving out his whole sentence just for those regular visits, patching up his relationship with his brother slowly, awkwardly, and with not a few backslides and difficult moments, but steadily. His sentence finishes out not long after Ford gets his research grant, and when that happens, Ford invites him to Gravity Falls.

And all of the above is just background, because the story actually starts here: Stan Pines, waking up in bed in Gravity Falls, more than thirty years before he remembers getting killed by Bill, with the memories of those thirty years still clear in his head. And, the same morning, Fiddleford McGucket turning up at Ford's door, having driven straight from Tennessee to try and stop Ford from summoning Bill.

Neither Stan nor Fidds trusts Ford on his word that he has no intention of trying any such thing this time, he's just living in Gravity Falls, trying to learn everything he can and avoid making the worst of his past mistakes again. And also trying to head off Bill using some other poor schmuck to do the same thing. Which means they're all three living in the Shack together, watching each other just to be sure. It's the wreck of Fidds' marriage, but...that barely feels real to him now. His wife left him decades ago, and- Okay, most of the physiological reasons for his mental decline aren't there now, but...that was only ever half the story. He feels fundamentally cut off from other people. So does Stan, thirty years older than he looks, knowing so much more about the people of Gravity Falls than he can reasonably explain. And neither of them is- they know, logically, that things have been better this time around, but- neither of them is quite willing to open up to Ford yet (though this does get better over time) so they gravitate to one another instead - the only people who can really understand their experiences.

Not really sure how things evolve from here - probably a loose monster-of-the-week format with relationship-building around the sides - but Bill is still out there, and may reach out to this little group. And, when that doesn't work, he's liable to take an interest in just what it is that's making these humans so unusually resistant to his pitch routine.

#gravity falls #fiddlestan

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a-cosmic-elf · 4 months

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#11 from the WIP GAME!

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

Thank you for asking @fangbangerghoul and for allowing me to explain myself because I feel like a terrible writer for not updating in what feels like an age.

Yes. Unfortunately, I’ve hit a roadblock on both.

There’s a spoiler-free vent under the cut.

The next scene in my Mass Effect fic is an action scene, which I struggle with. I know what I have to do; it’s just doing it. I love this fic too damn much, and I often think it deserves a better writer than I could ever be. I’m scared that I don’t have what it takes to write it well, and it’ll end up a half-baked pile of crap. That’s why I procrastinate writing this fic, it’s fear of failure. I’m not sure how to get past that.

I will get past it, I know. I opened the doc just the other day and re-read the next chapter and it’s not actually as bad as I feared. It just needs that action scene and it’s done.

I also have the next chapter more-or-less ready for my ongoing Legacy of Kain fic. The final chapter is perhaps the most whumpy, heartbreaking, torturous end to any fic I’ve ever written.

I’m worried that readers are going to scream at me for what I’ve done - even though it happens exactly as it does in canon, it’s just I’ve made it a whole lot worse by writing it as an enemies-to-lovers p(with)p and then cue that horrific scene. 🫣

…which I want to write, don’t get me wrong. I need to write it. It will be very interesting to see everything from a different perspective. I’m covering the aftermath, all the bits you don't see behind the scenes, all the way up to the final climatic scene in the game. It’s glorious how it all slots together, even if I say so myself. I’m as proud of it, just as much as I am scared to finish and post.

There’s also a half-dozen or so plans for Starfield fics spilling out of my head and into notebooks all over the place. There’s so many I can’t keep up, and I doubt I’ll ever get around to writing then all. I did think about putting one or two plot bunnies up for adoption; it’s that bad, they’re multiplying, like, well, bunnies. 🐰😅

But I promised myself that I would finish the other two before writing any more Starfield fic, but ugh… hyperfixation is in full swing. I don't normally like to force my creativity in any particular direction, I like to let it flow where it wants to go.

I’d just really like it to go in the Abby’s direction, please, please, for the love of all things good, I need to finish that fic 😭🙏🏼

wip ask game for procrastinating writers

#ask game #wip ask game #asks answered #cosmic writes #fanfiction #fangbangerghoul #thank you for sending me this #are you accepting asks for this game too?#much love #💜✨

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annoyangle · 11 months

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I'm being pathetic these days. Wasting time in bed, wallowing in self pity because shit feels hopeless.

I would really appreciate it if I could get some words that feel like a hard slap in the face to knock some sense into me from Bill Cipher himself. Or just scramble my brain, either way should bring about some kind of change.

It's totally okay if no, feel free to ignore this ask. I don't mean to be awkward or to pressure you.

KID, IF YOU WANT 'PICK YOURSELF UP AND KEEP FIGHTING' ADVICE HOHOHO BOY DID YOU COME DOWN THE WRONG POORLY LIT ALLEY! DON'T FORGET, I'M SUPPLY-SIDE EVIL HERE! WATCHING HUMANS FLAIL AROUND BROILING IN THEIR OWN MISERABLE BRAIN-SOUP IS GOOD EATS FOR THE LIKES OF ME! YUM YUM! THAT SAID, I AM NOT A MALICIOUS OVERLORD. YOUR GRUNKLE BILL UNDERSTANDS THE PAIN AND SUFFERING OF YOU LITTLE BEINGS. I HAVE GIVEN SOME GENERAL ADVICE IN THE PAST AS TO HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS CRAPPY TEMPORAL REALITY AS IT CURRENTLY EXISTS. WE'RE ALL IN BASIC AGREEMENT THAT THE STATE OF THINGS IS JUST PLAINLY UNACCEPTABLE. THAT CREATED REALITY COULD USE A LOT OF IMPROVEMENTS ON PRETTY MUCH EVERY LEVEL. SO WHAT, THOUGH? TOUGH BREAKS, KID! THIS IS THE REALITY YOU'RE STUCK IN! YOU HAVE CHOICES (SEE ABOVE) - AND AS LONG AS YOU'RE CAPABLE OF MAKING A CHOICE, YOU CAN ALWAYS MAKE THE WRONG CHOICE. IN OTHER WORDS, A CHOICE THAT I DON'T LIKE! LOOK, WE ALL HAVE THOSE DAYS WHERE GETTING UP FOR CONQUEST AND RUIN JUST FEELS LIKE TOO MUCH OF A HASSLE. EVEN I SOMETIMES JUST WANNA PUT MY MANY FEET UP ON ONE OR SEVERAL MINIONS, LAY AROUND, WATCH MY DIMENSION'S HORRIFIC EQUIVALENT OF CARTOONS AND SET THE WHOLE "RESHAPE REALITY TO MY UNBENDING WILL" THING ON THE BACKBURNER FOR A BIT! THAT'S OKAY! SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA TAKE THAT TIME TO LET THE PLOTS AND POTS BUBBLE. BUT IT'S ONLY ACTUALLY APPROPRIATE TO FULLY STOP MOVING WHEN YOU'RE DEAD. AND SOMETIMES NOT EVEN THEN! THE UNDERGROUND ECONOMY OF WORMS AND MICROBES HAS A JOB FOR YOU TOO! YOUR WORK IS NEVER DONE! IF YOU'RE NOT YET EAGER TO JOIN THE UNDERGROUND ECONOMY, THEN GET UP OUTTA BED AND GO FIND SOMETHING ABOVE GROUND TO DO! IT CAN PRETTY MUCH BE ANYTHING, SO LONG AS IT'S AMUSING TO WATCH FROM SOME OTHER PERSPECTIVE (AND BASICALLY EVERYTHING YOU GUYS DO IS DEEPLY FUNNY FROM MY PERSPECTIVE.) NOW, IF YOU WANT TO MAKE ME REALLY UNHAPPY, IF YOU WANT TO MAKE ME MISERABLE, AND DO SOMETHING I'M REALLY GONNA HATE TO SEE, THEN THE FIRST THING TO DO IS GET THE HECK OUTTA BED, TAKE A SHOWER, TAKE WHATEVER CURRENT PILLS/FOOD/WATER/NUTRIENTS YOU LACK AND PUT ON SOME CLEAN CLOTHES. IF YOU DON'T HAVE SOME OR ANY OF THOSE THINGS, GO GET THEM. STEALING THEM IS FINE, YOU HAVE MY BLESSING! STAND UP AND ENACT YOUR WILL ON THE WORLD! I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE WHO AREN'T ME DO THAT!

REMEMBER: IF YOU DON'T MAKE CHOICES, SOMEONE ELSE WILL MAKE THEM FOR YOU.

THAT SOMEONE ELSE MIGHT WELL BE ME. OR IT MIGHT BE SOMEONE OR SOMETHING EVEN WORSE. NOBODY'S GONNA KNOW WHAT YOUR CHOICES ARE UNLESS YOU ACT ON THEM. AND IF YOU DON'T CHOOSE ANYTHING, YOU'RE BASICALLY SAYING IT'S FINE FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO CHOOSE FOR YOU. MOST PEOPLE DON'T ACTUALLY LIKE THAT. THE ONES THAT DO ARE USUALLY MINIONS TO GUYS LIKE ME!

#ask bill cipher #the muse muses #inbox reply #//hope ya feel better kid!

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walks-the-ages · 1 year

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I just wanted to say I appreciate your response to my quantum leap reboot post! Really great to hear the criticisms from someone who’s actually watched the show thus far, super insightful

ah, thank you lol, I'm glad you enjoyed because I didn't quite intend to go off on a rant on your post lol. It's just infuriating, as someone who only discovered Quantum Leap "this year" (mid 2022) , and finished the original show with just a few weeks before the new show aired, so seeing everything with a completely fresh perspective is just..... really mindboggling, there's such a sharp decline in the writing.

I think it says a lot that the 1992 episode "Running for Honor" (set in 1964) is far more progressive and inclusive than the new show's 2022 episode "Stand By Ben" (set in 1996) , which features a young teen who is friend's with the Leapee who casually admits she's gay and she's at the youth camp (cough cough conversion therapy camp cough cough) because she's depressed/suicidal but she's absolutely sure that her parents still love her and accept her for who she is and she just wants to get back to them because surely they didn't know what hell and literal they were signing her up for, and would help her and the other kids make their escape!!

which you know, her attitude could have just been denial if this was a one-off theme.

But nope.

this episode is set immediately after the ~spooky spooky halloween episode~ where another young girl is being literally physically and psychologically tortured by her family by drugging her with the extremely dangerous, super fatal and bad-tripping Datura plant, by cutting up random leaves and seeds and putting them in her food--

(not even the bare minimum of giving actual measured doses to keep her alive for longer) -- so that her mother can get the inheretence money from her daughter's death and elope with her new boytoy, and framing the whole thing as demonic posession because the grandma is super religious.

Oh and even though these people are perfectly capable of murdering the grandma outright (and do that in the daughter's room while she's chained to the bed completely out of it from the latest round of poison so they can blame her), they're just going to stick with slowly fatally poisoning the daughter in the most horrifying way possible because uh...

.... how else would the writers keep making it a guessing game of "are demons real in the Quantum Leap Universe or not"? /sarcasm

How else could we get a spooky spooky Halloween episode than turning the victim of horrific abuse into a scary demon???

Just Look at her face! She's been clawing at her face, she's covered in self-inflicted wounds while under the effects of a deadly psychoactive substance her family poisoned her with to murder her, isn't she so terrifying to look at??? / sarcasm

And guess what the moral of the story is here? Guess what's framed as a triumph?

"I forgive you." the daughter says, looking at her parents as she's being helped by paramedics.

Oh, and last but not least! While this halloween Leap is going on? Back at HQ the head of security (Who's also a woman........ I'm starting to see a futher pattern with the abuse apologism) is getting lectured by her boss because her father keeps calling and she's not answering the phone because get this-- she doesn't want to speak to him! Le gasp! She has boundries! Head of Security Lady (Apparently her name is Jenn according to the IMBD) explains to Magic* that her father is a deadbeat who walked out on her as a kid and literally the only time he tries to reconnect with her is when he's asking for money, and she's sick and tired of the heartache of thinking he actually cares about her so she's completely cut ties with him and wants nothing to do with him.

Powerful storyline right there! How to let go and cut ties with abusive parents! How to stand up for yourself and learn you don't owe these people anything!

Oh but the morale here is that she needs to give him another chance. He's making all these calls and she won't answer-- doesn't that make her a bad person? Le gasp! She should give him another chance! She needs to set her own feelings aside and give her shitty neglectful, using father another chance!! But she refuses (good for her) to even consider it, and Magic (HER BOSS) spends the entire episode wheedling her and telling her to give her father another chance and accept the call. Oh but by the end of the episode where she finally decides to accept the call, whoopsies, she missed her chance to reconnect with her shitty father, he's like, dead or something. And this is framed as tragic-- for her. That she should have accepted his calls earlier, should have given him another chance after breaking her heart (and bank probably) a hundred times over.

the 2022 show is absolute CRAP, and someone on the writing team clearly has an agenda.

*Magic is the token Past-Leapee boss who is useless to the plot because he doesn't even remember Sam leaping into him so what exactly is he here for except to earn cheap nostalgia and brownie points, there's literally no reason for him to be in QL because he's not looking for Sam and has zero actual personal connection to Sam. Why isn't it Tom. seriously WHY ISN'T IT TOM OR KATIE)

#ql #quantum leap #Quantum leap 2 electric boogaloo #anti 2022 ql

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not-enough-teeth-and-treasures · 3 years

Text

An Autistic’s Perspective on Tears of Themis’ Representation (spoiler alert: it’s bad)

Before you read, I should warn you that there will be spoilers for Chapter Five! Read at your own risk. Also, trigger warning for discussions of ableism and harmful disablility stereotypes. I get pretty heated as well, so if you’re not a fan of swearing and stuff, then it might be best to skip this.

So, I was debating whether or not I wanted to talk about this, mostly because this game doesn’t do anything new in regards to the perception of autism in media. Unfortunately, it ends up leaning into a lot of not great tropes and goes into “what the fuck that’s incredibly offensive territory” waaay to quickly. So here I am.

The most prevelant character with autism (or who we start out thinking has autism. Don’t worry, I’ll get to that) is a small, supergenius child (a boy as well *sigh*) is so overdone at this point that there aren’t many new criticisms I can say. The stereotype of autism presented in media is overwhelmingly extremely intelligent (usually with sciency or math based interests) men with no ability to socialize or be kind to others. This not only paints autism as a disability that effects men primarily (which creates intense stigma around AFAB autistic people and makes it harder for us to get diagnosed or believed), but also creates this expectation of greatness. Autistic people are often held to superhuman standards, which further others and dehumanizes us in the eyes of allistic people. The vast majority of autistic people are not savants, and that it perfectly fine.

But all of this is pretty standard. The red flags started popping up when it was revealed that the autistic kid, Hugh, doesn’t actually have autism and is faking it in order to keep people from asking hard questions about him or trying to pry into his life (which is full of secrets). I’m definitely not a fan of perpetuating the idea that people fake diabilities in order to manipulate people, so this plot twist was not my favorite. However, it wasn’t really enough to inspire me to write a whole ass essay about the representation. And then I got to the fucking text conversation with Vyn.

Here is where I’m gonna put a trigger warning for talk about eugenics, curing autism, ableism, and basically just a fuck ton of awful shit. Fuck, this makes me so mad.

So, I went in and took screenshots of both options just to see, and all of them lead to terrible bullshit. Lets start out pretty light with the MC and Vyn discussing symptoms.

This is a pretty limited and honestly incomplete explanation of autistic behaviors. These can definitely be symptoms, but they’re heavily overcovered and really basic. A lot of autistic people don’t have these symptoms, and it would be really nice if more media branched out and covered more of the spectrum. However, considering they don’t do anything different in any other areas, I’m not surprised.

Also not a fan of Vyn’s use of “abnormal.” It has some very negative connotations and is a bit insulting, honestly. These behaviors are perfectly “normal;” they’re just not as accepted by neurotypical people. Plus, no behaviors can really be labeled as normal because humans are complex and different.

That was the easy shit. Let’s get into the truly awful garbage.

This is treading into ABA territory here. For those of you who are unaware, ABA is pushed as the best autistic therapy, but a large majority of autistic adults consider it to be abusive and unhelpful. This is mainly because it seeks to “correct” many behaviors that are helpful for autistic people. It seeks to surpress stims (which are behaviors that improve the mental health of autistic children), force us to talk (as opposed to letting us use sign language and technology), and more. This harms our mental health and makes us ashamed of who we are. These behaviors do not need to be “corrected.” We don’t need to act “normally.” All this therapy does is make us more palitable for neurotypical people, and it’s bullshit.

It also doesn’t help that ABA was pioneered by Ivar Lovaas, a man who did not believe autistic people were human. He developed ABA as a way to “build a person” using harsh punishments such as withholding affection and ELECTRIC SHOCKS. If you think this is a think of the past, you’d be wrong. Electric shocks are still being used to harm disabled people. Look up the hashtag #StopTheShock to learn more and help push for legislation that bans this practice.

Oh, and did I mention Ivar Lovaas also inspired gay conversion therapy? Because he did! So yeah, fuck ABA and fuck Vyn for performing it (god damn it, Vyn, I liked you a lot).

And now, onto the eugenics. Fuck my life.

FUCK! THIS! BULLSHIT!

I am so tired of autism being treated as this horrific disease that needs a cure. I had a perfectly fine childhood. Yes, it was hard at times, yes I got traumatized, but a large part of that was due to ableism and abuse from teachers and peers. A large reason why autistic people suffer is because the world is not built for us, and we are often denied accommodations that would make our lives better.

It is beyond offensive and disgusting to suggest that we would be better off not existing than “suffering so much” because of autism. Because that is what this game and everyone else who thinks there should be a cure is suggesting. There is no me without autism. it literally affects my brain structure. You are wishing for a completely different person when you tell me that autism should be cured.

Now, I’m not going to get into the horrible consent issues that arise from talks about a cure, including genetic editing, fear mongering to parents so they think abortion is the only option, and straight up Nazi style eugenics. I do not have the spoons to delve into that exhausting discussion. But if you want to know more, then there are so many incredible autistic people who have written blogs, Twitter threads, and more about why a cure is a terrible idea.

Oh, and if you’re going to come at me with the “severely autistic people should be cured” bullshit, don’t bother. There is no such thing as “severe” autism, first of all, and second, non verbal autistic people (which are who people think of when they talk about “severe” autism), largely don’t want a cure. There have been so many surveys of tens of thousands of autistic people, and the result is that the overwhelming majority do not want to be cured. We want support and proper accommodations. Listen to us.

So, in conclusion, fuck this text conversation and it’s ableist and offensive bullshit. I really wish ToT had stayed away from autism, or at the very least did not touch on therapy or a possible cure. For a game that is about genetic experimentation on children and how bad that is, it sure peddles a lot of eugenics.

Fuck, this text conversation actually made me ill and I hate that. I’m so done with constantly trying to prove to the world that I am a human being who deserves to exist. I’m gonna go cuddle my service dog now.

#tears of themis #vyn richter #autism #autistic perspective #autism representation #seriously can we stop treating my disability like a disease? Is that so fucking hard?#i don't need a cure #i deserve to exist #aba is abuse #autistic people deserve to exist #hugh tears of themis #tot #tot vyn #god damn it vyn I simped for you

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ive-tumbled-down-a-rabbit-hole · 3 years

Text

Claiming Ones Own

Ok so, sorry for such a slow update on this. I had an attack of brain worm ideas which distracted/refused to let me focus on the chapter for a while. Have destroyed/dealt with most of the new ideas and have finally finished the chapter 🎉

Masterlist

[Chapter 1] [Previous]

...................................................................................

Chapter 5 - Playtime Chaos

Cass was going to kill Jason. That is, if Marie didn’t do it first by accident. He needed to go back to Gotham ASAP and get out of her hair! He may have been helpful to begin with, but now he was a menace and needed to go!

Jason had created a ‘new game’, well he said it was one he and Alfred used to play when he first moved into the manor, but it was still new to Cass. Only Jason had not really thought through the consequences of said game. He hadn’t thought that this game was with Cass and him rather than with Alfred who had obviously thought the game through properly.

The game, of which Jason thought was an amazing idea, was to redirect Marie's pickpocketing habit. If she pickpocketed strangers chocolate rights were reduced. Marie figured this rule out quickly which resulted in one horrific drama due reduced chocolate for the day. It was painful with lots of tears for all involved. Then there was a chocolate reward/increase rule when she pickpocketed Cass or Jason.

Cass might have agreed with his logic. It was a good game to bond with her, ensure she felt her skills remained and reduce the thieving, but this… THIS… result should have been expected!

What they hadn't considered is that the pair often carried weapons on them ALL the time. In and out the house. The pair were paranoid. Marie had observed the pair and quickly worked out what and where they stored these weapons.

Marie was also good at being light fingered to begin with. They knew that. THEY HAD EXPERIENCED IT. This wasn't new territory for her.

Training Marie further was a bad idea.

Cass so wanted to kill Jason for this game.

Cass’s heart couldn’t cope with it anymore. When the knives were taken it was anxiety inducing. Watching her daughter dance around with a knife, playing with it and watching it slice through the air caused so much panic in Cass.

The positive of that event was that Cass had started to train her daughter in basic swordplay. She observed, much like Damian, that going through basic positions and movements grounded and calmed her daughters chaotic energy. Marie was picking the skill up quickly so official 'safe fencing lessons' will be added to the girls learning activities.

Jason though, Jason her ‘delightful brother’ (if he survived her wrath), carried guns. He had ‘hidden’ guns around her apartment. So coming home from shopping to find her precious, innocent, sticky fingered Marie, inspecting and playing a gun was petrifying.

And Jason who was meant to be watching her daughter was missing! It was the last straw for Cass.

…………………………………………..

Jason admits that this may have been a mistake. Thinking back with a more analytical perspective than fond memories. Alfred had set it up that Jason would nearly always win the game. Alfred knew where weapons were but didn’t carry them around on his person.

Marie was a natural. Jason was super proud of his niece, she was getting swifter and lighter at each attempt. Her playing with the finds aka knives was maybe a little oversight. Cass’s reaction to it all was even less fun. Her subtle disgruntledness was made known to him unpleasantly. Swapping the sugar for salt in his morning coffee was revolting! But it at least was just basic pranks Cass was retaliating with… not Wayne Manor declarations of war…. He hoped...

He had popped out the room briefly (ok maybe not briefly but not for a really long time) as Roy had rang and wanted his assistance for a mission. Coming back into the room he found Pixie with his latest new toy *cough* gun and an irrate Cass looking like she would murder with the batglare she throw at him.

"Hi Cass.... Pixie… Roy just called asking for my assistance. I'll," he gulped as his sister levelled him with a laser beam stare and his niece turned to him, pointing the gun in a way he was showing her earlier, with curiosity showing on her face. "I'll be leaving in a few days… umm Pixie could you be a sweetheart and aim the gun downwards please?"

His niece frowned at him looking at it and him "Chocolate?" Jason quickly glanced at Cass and could feel the icy waves wafting off her. "Errr... Yeah sure thing sweetie. But to get it you will need to put the gun down first please."

Marie broke into a grin and put the gun in the coffee table skipping over to Jason to grab his hand leading him to her treasure. "Your stance then was much better, Pixie, and I didn't even feel you take the gun this time. You've improved loads this week."

He felt Cass's anger pour off her. Maybe he should have asked if he could teach Pixie about guns....

When the pair returned to the living room, Cass handed Jason his suitcase. "Go! Be Roy's issue now"

…………………………………………..

With Jason gone Cass found that the apartment was much quieter with just the pair of them, especially as sign language seemed to be both of their preferred communication method. Cass turned to playing music in the background to remind her of her siblings back in Gotham (not Jason though), this caused her to dance absentmindedly. Marie was often caught trying to mimicking her dance moves with light footwork, her grace and form yet to be perfected.

Cass saw this as another class to sign her daughter up to along with fencing to burn the chaotic energy up. Especially now Jason wasn't around playing rough and tumble with her.

................................................................

It was one afternoon about a month after Jason had left that Cass had a break through. While Marie was setting up a tea ceremony (a post swordplay practice ritual she'd got into), Cass had stumbled on her first actual clue in finding out about Marie's past. Her search had finally unearthed similar symbols, used centuries ago by some Tibetan monks, to the ones that were on her back. What this meant Cass was unsure. To progress further she probably needed to talk to Babs or Tim, but if she did that she'd have to tell them why. Which everyone finding about Marie and she wasn't ready for that.

She still fretted over what Marie must have gone though and to unleash the Wayne's on her seemed daunting.

Cass was about to look further into what she had gathered when her phone went off. It Alfred calling which was unusual.

"Alfred"

"Hello Miss Cassandra. I hope you are well and have settled into motherhood comfortably."

Cass paled. Alfred knew!! Damn it Jason!!! He was dead meat when she saw him next.

"Adapting. Marie, your great granddaughter, is sweet. Both learning about being together"

"I see. I am assuming that that is going well. Master Jason has mentioned that you found her on the streets in a similar manner to how he was found."

Jason guns were going to go missing and be replaced with water pistols.

"Yes. Much better now. Learning sign to talk to each other. Eating better too."

"That is good news to hear Miss Cassandra."

It was a set up. Jason had triggered in and Alfred was waiting to pounce. There was no way to escape but to make it easier for her self.

"We visit you soon. Wanted Marie settled first."

"I'll arrange a flight for you in a fortnight's time. Is there anything young Miss Marie will require."

Completely trapped now she'd taken the bait. Alfred knew it, she knew it. And everyone will know about Marie in no time. Maybe she would be able to get Babs and Tims help after all.

"Thank you Alfred. Bunk bed, milk chocolate and chocolate spread please." Cass paused for a second as Marie looked over to her signing 'tea time Mama'

"Loose green tea leaves too, for tea ceremony, please."

Cass finally could hear a smile in Alfred's voice and relaxed slightly. She may have escaped some of Alfred's disappointment.

"I will ensure I meet those requirements Miss Cassandra. I will send you your flight details when I have finished arranging them. I look forward to seeing you again Miss Cassandra, and to meeting Miss Marie. I will now take my leave for you to spend time with you daughter."

Looks like she will be needing to prepare Maire for a flight and meeting the family. She would have to up her parenting game to ensure she completely beat Bruce.

Moments after she had hung up Alfred had sent flight details across. Complete evidence that the whole call as a ruse and he got what he wanted. Well played Alfred well played. Cass responded to Alfred, thanking him for his efficiency and to arrange some face time calls to occur in the next fortnight. Alfred deserved to get to know her precious Marie first so at least she had an ally in the Manor when they visited. Someone other than Jason. That reminded Cass to shoot a text to Jason

*You.are.dead.betrayer.*

He replied quickly to her message

*Adventure with Roy went sideways. Alfred wasn't happy. I needed something to soften the blow!!! I'm sorry!!! Don't kill me!!*

Pah! He sold her out that's what. He was in Alfred's book of disappointment and didn't want to be there alone so dragged her to hell too. Jokes on him, she'll work her and Marie magic to make it work for them. Her phone buzzed again as Jason messaged her again. Ignoring it she went to join Marie for tea and tell her the 'fun news'.

In her head she had a fortnight to prepare her revenge.

Tag List:

@boldlyanxious @laurcad123 @toodaloo-kangaroo

@too0bsessedformyowngood @lady-bee-fechin @solangelo252 @mysteriouslyswimmingfan-blo-blog @arty-shadow-morningstar @macncheesemonster @purplegeekypanda @corporeal-terrestrial @maribat-shenanigans

#maribat #maribat au #claiming ones own #marinette x cass #plantonic #found family #marinette x jason #ml x dc #dc x ml #mlb x dc #dc x mlb

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maxwell-grant · 3 years

Note

Cass wouldn’t even begrudingly tolerate [the Black Bat], because she’s even less lenient than Bruce on killing and far more willing to throw down.' - THANK YOU for remembering that.

Cass is my favorite Batfam member, the only one really that I have an active interest in reading about. I'd be incredibly ignorant to not bring bring up such a crucial aspect of her characterization. And even if I didn't personally care for her, well, last thing I'd want is to be another source of frustration for Cass fans. Lord knows there's enough of those to go around.

mousebrass also asked: On that note, how do you imagine a meeting between Cass and the Shadow going?

Fair warning: This one took me 6 hours to write, and it became a hell of a lot longer than I imagined. I liked Cass a lot, but I never quite realized I had this many feelings regarding her until I was tasked with writing this, and a lot of things clicked for me regarding my plans for The Shadow thanks to this ask. @mousebrass, thank you. I mean it. I think I may have found something here I've spent years looking for. Hope you enjoy the post.

I'm thankful that this scenario is only really taking place in a hypothetical fanon where both characters can get a fair shot, because I wouldn't trust DC with this premise. I don't trust DC with either of them as is.

There's a lot of ways that this crossover could go on about taking place naturally, initially because Cass is already connected to some of Batman's pulpier elements, due to her connections to Lady Shiva and the League of Assassins, and one could connect Cass to Myra Reldon (who really should just be race swapped if ever brought back so she can stand out as the cool character she is, without the yellowface gimmick holding her back). There's two things I think are crucial to making the most of this idea, and the first of which has to do with the subject of killing. I usually don't like to come up with hypothetical team-ups for The Shadow that focus too much on the fact that he kills, because it's far from the most significant aspect of his character to focus on, much of it is written from a wrong understanding of the character, and it never amounts to anything other than perfunctory. But here, not only is it completely unavoidable to discuss, here there is actually a very, very substantial grounding as to why this has to be such a big part of the story.

The first and foremost thing that's gotta be established to everyone reading that doesn't know already is this: Cassandra Cain, more so than Batman, more so than any other DCU hero, has a tolerance towards murder lower than zero, and this is completely non-negotiable. She will throw herself on the path of an assault rifle to stop men trying to kill her from accidentally killing each other. The defining moment of her incredibly grim backstory is that she was trained from birth to be the world's greatest murderer, and her first kill traumatized her so badly that she has pivoted as far away from that as possible. I stress a lot that the Shadow should not be written as the trigger-happy maniac comics made him into and that the pulp version killed mostly to defend himself and others, generally left criminals to the police if possible, offered plenty of second-chances, had stories dedicated to the rehabilitation of criminals and so on, but none of this would matter to Cass.

Cass has literally chosen suicide over the prospect of living with murder on her hands time and time again, and The Shadow kills. When he kills, he does so without remorse, with unshakeable certainty. He hates death, he doesn't want lives to be at risk in the first place. But people will die if he doesn't do anything, and what he can do, what he exists to do, is turn the tools of evil against evil, and murder is the oldest tool of evil there is. He doesn't kill because a war scarred him, he doesn't kill because he's got a demon in his soul, he doesn't kill because he's mentally off balance, he doesn't kill because he's evil or sadistic or arrogant or anything of the sort. He kills because the men he fights chose death when they sought to harm innocents and fire guns at him. He kills because he is Death itself.

Regardless of how compassionate he is or can be, regardless of the fact that he's motivated by a desire to protect people, regardless of how justified he is, he is still dropping corpses and laughing maniacally doing so. Cass's real arch-enemy isn't Shiva or David Cain, it's Death, it's the thing that she's fundamentally most opposed to. And guess what The Shadow gets compared to often enough? Literally the very first line of the very first book where we get to see him, this is how we are introduced to him:

So the premise here is that we are taking a character who is defined by her fundamental opposition to death with every fiber of her being, who understands death on a level no other human being does, who is traumatized and hard-wired to detest death at all costs and to choose suicide over it, and asking her to team up with The Grim Reaper.

Even if he received the most abject lesson conceivable on the sheer wrongness of murder, even if he does put down the guns around Cass out of respect for her, he cannot protect his agents and others if he cannot shoot or kill those who try to harm them, and the protection of the agents is absolutely non-negotiable and not at all something he's willing to fuck around with by trying out gadget kung fu superhero alternatives. The Shadow has chosen to throw his life away for their sake time and time again, and no matter how appaling or disgusting Cass finds his deeds, even if he concedes that she's right and should be right on all accounts and that he is fundamentally a monster who has no right to judge others, he would not concede on his mission and he would make it very clear she would have to put him down violently to stop him from protecting others this way, and death has not stopped him before.

And to be upfront in case there's anyone who doubts it, Cass would kick The Shadow's ass, if they had to fight. She is the strongest fighter in the DCU, she lives and breathes fighting and combat in a way no one else does. And The Shadow's not one of those characters who is supposed to be invincible and the best at everything all the time always, he can and does lose fights and scrapes to people far less adept at it than Cass. He's a great fighter, obviously, he hauls bigger men than him through doors and was disabling people with Vulcan neck pinches decades before Spock, and he would definitely have an edge in other areas, but he's out of his league here. Frankly, I don't see The Shadow raising a finger against Cass unless she's been brainwashed into killing people by bad writing. Not because she's a woman, that doesn't really stop him from dealing with evil. But because, for one, she's practically a child compared to him age-wise. Two, he'd obviously know beforehand of her capabilities and how futile it would be to fight or even provoke her. And three, the Shadow's whole thing is knowing. The Shadow Knows and all that. Knowing comes with understanding.

He'd understand very quickly that there is no way someone this young could grow so quickly into the world's greatest fighter without horrific treatment that no one should ever be subjected to. He'd see the movements too practiced and quick, the self-control, the strength and speed far beyond even the trained warriors he's seen, the places where she's been scarred and is good at covering it up. Assuming he doesn't already know about her life story, any meeting between the two would lead to him very quickly figuring out that there's something much deeper about her opposition to killing than just moral reservations, something deeper than Bruce's own gun trauma.

Denny O'Neil's 2nd Batman and Shadow story was about The Shadow secretly helping Bruce overcome gun trauma, and Bruce rejecting The Shadow's intentions to hand him a gun. And to make it clear, people tend to assume that The Shadow only helps people for utilitarian reasons, which is not true as I've tried to demonstrate many times now. I don't want to convey that he would want to help Cass overcome her trauma just so she could be more efficient or something, absolutely no, he'd help her because he helps people in any way he can. I think a story with The Shadow and Cass might involve a similar premise, The Shadow understanding that she has been traumatized very deeply by death and refuses to accept it on any terms, trying to help her overcome it, only to learn that she does not want to "learn" anything she doesn't already know, that she has weaponized her trauma into a source of strength, and wishes nothing more than to help others with it.

And here's where we get to the part that allows the two to be on less antagonistic terms, because one thing that also very strongly defines Cass, at least the Cass I like reading most, is her stubborn, almost desperate need to believe in the best of people, that people can and will change for the better. Like The Shadow, her strength too is knowing, it's perception, the things that she knows about people that words cannot convey. Just as there are many things The Shadow would grow to understand about her that others would not, there would be many things that The Shadow would not be able to conceal from her. Things that no one but her would figure out. Things that, despite her age and lack of experience compared to him, he would have to defer to her knowledge on, which reverses the usual dynamic The Shadow has with people. And perhaps one aspect of that reversal, it's that maybe it's she who winds up secretly manipulating The Shadow into overcoming a deeper issue.

Cass's perspective on killing is shaped not just through trauma, but from a painfully intimate understanding of not just what happens to someone at the time of death, but the cost of murder upon the human soul, the ways it warps people into things they never should have been. Killing is a deeply, deeply serious matter, much more so than fiction seems ever willing to go into. Of course we suspend disbelief for fiction, there's nothing wrong with that, but if a story starts asking questions, starts poking holes into fantasies, they should not be disregarded.

And so it begs a question: How has it affected The Shadow? Is he really as remorseless as he appears to be? Is the fact that he's only killing evil people really of that much use? What's the cost of living as someone who has to know so much about so much evil in so many hearts? Knowledge never comes without price, and knowing evil is his tagline. When he enlists Harry Vincent, he makes it very clear that he has lost lives as he has saved them. From when is that regret coming from? What lives did he lose then? Is he saving people by damning his soul or merely prolonging the inevitable by piling corpses on another end of the scale?

If there's a character that could meaningfully start bringing these questions forth, who could ever truly get The Shadow to stop and reveal things to the audience he never would otherwise, maybe Cass could be that character. A girl who was raised to be a monster, who is treated as a monster and an aberration in-universe (and even outside of it), and turned that into a strength she uses to help others, who cares about everyone and refuses to let others be dehumanized as she was. Who better to know what lurks in the Shadow's heart?

Sometimes when I get an ask, I bullshit my way through infodump walls of text until I can structure it into something vaguely resembling a point. And sometimes, and I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes I get a very, very clear word on my mind related to it before I start writing, that almost seems to be a beacon pointing where I need to get to, and I work my way into getting there. Once you sent me an ask about crossing over The Shadow with Cassandra Cain, the word that came to mind the very second was Language.

It's an interesting relation the two have with language. Language is of course a very substantial part of Cass's character, who does not process language and linguistic development the way most people do, and instead reads body language to the point of superpower. Many stories revolve around Cass's relation to the concept of language, the help she may require from others in getting around things beyond her upbringing, and ways in which she has mastered beyond anyone's scope. Though she is mute, language is her power, what makes her what she is, and she is someone that Batman freely admits could kick his ass if she ever felt like it.

For The Shadow, language is also his power. He speaks all languages and connects allies all over the world, he is an expert ventriloquist, he is able to project his voice beyond what's physically possible, he can imitate voices perfectly to the point of being able to conduct group conversations single-handedly well enough to fool even the people whose voices he's imitating, much of his presence and terror and manipulation are done through his voice, arguably the very reason he exists in the first place is entirely because a radio actor's voice performance was so good and captivating that it tricked people into thinking the character was a real star and not just a glorified narrator. The man you cannot see, but only hear, the perfect hero for radio. And then of course the laugh, which I have a whole separate post on and which, in many ways, acts as a substitute for language in the novels. He uses the laugh so often as a substitute for statements or words, even to himself, that it's pretty much his own personal language. And language is at the core of how he deals with people, as he knows the right language to use to manipulate and move and help them. He knows what to promise, what to reveal, what to omit. He knows what to say, how to say it, when to say it. Language is the strings by which he puppeteers the world around him (and he can talk to animals, at least of one kind).

The Shadow and Cassandra Cain have mastered two different types of Language as throughly as anyone can possibly master them. The Shadow can talk a group of hardened criminals into killing themselves, Cassandra can punch a heart into stopping without killing it. The Shadow echoes his voice "through everywhere and nowhere at once" to whip crowds of thugs into frenzies, Cassandra outraces missiles and was tanking bullets as a child. The Shadow can lie and usurp lives so masterfully to fool even the families of those he's passing off as, Cassandra is a living lie detector who gleams inner conversations from miniscule reactions. The Shadow can speak every language known, Cassandra is the greatest master of the world's most universal language other than music. The two are supposedly human, but every now and then, something comes along to call that into question because of the things they can achieve. They cannot hide secrets from each other the way they do to everyone else. They are driven by a deep desire to help others, to make something out of the circumstances of their lives. To weaponize that which dictates they should be evil and monstrous into a relentless force of good.

Language is the root of understanding. And if nothing else, as impossible as a conciliation of their approaches to crimefighting may be, I think there could be an unique understanding between the two. Perhaps, and this is a bit crazier a concept but one that seems to be where I might have been heading towards all along, even Cassandra Cain finding a calling away from the frayed dynamics of the Batfamily, away from the Bat's looming presence, to become The Shadow's successor, swearing to uphold a mission of justice through non-lethal tactics while he stays on the backseat guiding her. If The Shadow could trust the safety of his agents and the protection of the innocent at the hands of someone as capable and selfless and good-natured as Cassandra, I think he'd be all too happy to be able to trust someone in such a manner, to no longer be the Master of Darkness, but instead to serve the next generation that's weaponized darkness without submerging in it. To achieve, and perhaps return, to his strongest, highest self: A disembodied voice heard, but not seen. Once again the narrator, not the star.

It's a concept I've thought about very extensively for the years I've been a Shadow fan, but now it occurs to me that, if I had to appoint a successor of The Shadow, someone who could take up the mission but shine on their own right, even improve it with the right guidance and circumstances, it would be Cassandra Cain. The Orphan, The Shadow of the Batgirl. Daughter of the greatest assassins, meant to be the world's most lethal murderer, instead pivoted to being one of it's greatest heroes, but never allowed to shine as she should. But in the darker, less restrictive and wilder world of pulp heroes, in The Shadow's world, a beacon would shine all the harder. Perfect strengths attached to perfect opposites, joined together for a greater good, unstoppable after together having weaponized that which most take for granted: the power of language to move worlds.

#replies tag #pulp heroes #comic books #the shadow #cassandra cain #batgirl #i always had a feeling that a successor to the shadow should not be modeled on batman but someone within that range #i never quite found a character i would be happy with taking that role or a similar role #aw shit i just talked myself into a new favorite character #that just so happens to be another character brimming with potential that's denied them by corporate overlords #who could have seen that coming

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