#it works and it makes me feel better so I'm gonna keep doing it

[keirawantstocry]

Would a prompt for Tubbo to show up at Fit an Pac's doorstep absolutely fuming work? Like maybe it isn't Tubbo in control it's Tommy here to give the 2 an ear full because Tubbo has been a mess, months of miscommunication building to thinking they have been left behind, months of Tommy hoping he was right not to jump in cause it meant his husband paid attention to him. But Tubbo's a wreck heartbroken it can't be ignored anymore, how could they just drop him like that weren't they steps away from all 3 of them dating? Was that not worth fighting for?

Sorry if it's too detailed prompts are not my specialty it seems 9 w 9;;

I thought maybe a prompt of how left out Tubbo felt would be nice something that gave Fit and Pac pause to see that the hostility Tubbo shows at times to their relationship was because of that but also thought Tubbo would never say it or open up to anyone but I know you also subscribe to Tommy possessing his husband sometimes... I'm going to flee now I'm rambling too much ...

Have a lovely day!

it's been a while but you have a lovely day!

Tommy was mad. Tommy was furious. 

Tubbo was in the back of the mind they were currently sharing, sulking. He was so upset and it made Tommy furious. So he took over. Grabbed the reins of Tubbo's body and took control. 

Tommy stomped their body right over to Pac and Fit's house while Tubbo was too busy keeping his tears at bay to protest. 

“Hey!” 

Pac looked confused when he opened the door. “Ola?” 

Tommy huffed, crossing his arms firmly. “Listen to me, man.” 

Fit appeared behind him with a cautious look. “Hey, Tubbo. What's up?” 

“Listen to me!” Tommy repeated. “You guys are assholes. He's not perfect, okay? He pulls away from affection and he's a little bitch half the time. But he's my best friend. He's an amazing person and he would rather choke than say it but he fucking loves you two. He's been moping in our fucking mind for ages. He won't stop crying and as soon as he figures out I'm saying this he's gonna take over this vessel and I won't be able to tell you. So fucking listen.” 

They both stared at him with wide eyes as he drove his finger forward to drive them further back into their own house. 

“He loves you both. Not the deep platonic bond he has with me. Because trust me,” Tommy scoffed. “What I have with him will last beyond your lifetimes. Completely and utterly. But he fucking loves you guys. I mean the way he talks about you two. The way he thinks about you two. God. It's so fucking annoying. He's mentally collapsing over how attractive he thinks you two are. It's so ridiculous.” 

Tommy took a deep breath. Pac tried to cut in but he made sure he couldn't. 

“No. Let me finish. Right now he's starting to stir in our consciousness. When he takes over I need you to kiss him and make up. Fuck, it's gonna be disgusting and I'm going to hate it but its better then having to see… the most important fucking person in my fucking life… having to be hurt over and over again by people he loves. So do your cringe ass lovey dovey shit and make sure he feels loved. For the love of-” 

He was cut off. Snapped back into the back of Tubbo's mind. Fuck, he swore to himself. Please let those idiots understand me.

Through Tubbo's eyes he watched. Watched as Pac took Tubbo's face as soon as his own words slipped out of his lips and kissed him. Murmured the sappiest shit he had ever heard in his ears while Fit hesitantly took him by the hand.

And Tommy was right. It was gross and he hated it. But the joy that flooded through Tubbo's body was undeniable and calmed his spirit. He could finally rest. 

#my writing #fanfiction #q!tommy #q!tubbo #q!pac #q!fit #poly morning crew #fitpacbo #eeee lets go!!!! #fic requests

[jelzorz]

176.

Soren has a dragon that he's had since he was three.

It's one of the few genuinely happy memories he has from his childhood. Most days he struggles to remember any at all—so much of it was posturing and conflict and useless efforts to win his father's pride. It was not the simplest childhood, certainly not the happiest, but Rexy is still in his quarters, and when Soren looks at him, he thinks of games and laughter and the warmth of his mother's arms against the winter cold.

He's still pretty fond of him, even now. He's dusty and old and beat to shit, his left eye loose, his dye faded, and Soren's not going to pretend he doesn't pull him down sometimes to defend him from invisible armies (a perfectly normal twenty-eight year old thing to do, thank you), but Rexy's definitely seen better days too, and Soren thinks of the twins that are supposed to be arriving any day now and thinks it might be time for a little bit of a makeover before Rexy goes back into the fray.

"That's so sweet," chuckles Callum, as he examines the loose stitching at Rexy's ear. "But I gotta be honest, Soren, I dunno that he's gonna make it even if I do fix him. Kids can be really rough."

Soren doesn't doubt it. Callum and Rayla's little girl is barely eighteen months old and she's a terror to anything in the castle smaller than her. "I still think it's worth trying," he says. "If he goes down, he'll go down in battle, and there's no nobler end for a toy."

"True," snorts Callum. He fiddles Rexy's loose eye and tugs it free. Soren tries not to wince. "You've had him forever though. I know he means a lot to you. Are you sure you wanna let your soon-to-be kids tear him up?"

"Mm." Soren shrugs, a little sentimental, a little heartbroken, but resolute all the same. "I don't really have anything else to pass on," he says quietly. "I've been thinking about it for ages, and I—" He huffs. "I just think that Rexy'll watch over them the same way he watched over me. Does that make sense?"

Callum laughs good naturedly and nudges his arm. "Yeah," he says. "I get it." He glances at Soren from the corner of his eye then, and Soren can feel the way Callum studies him, his mentality, his readiness to be a dad. "Are you okay?"

"Mm," says Soren again. This time he shifts uncomfortably, because the thought is terrifying almost more than it is exciting. "I just want to be a better dad than mine was."

Callum smiles and pats his arm. "You've got nothing to worry about there, bud. You're going to be just fine."

"Big assumption," snorts Soren.

"Call it more of an observation," says Callum. "You've done the work. You're always doing the work. That's half the job right there. The rest is just love. Isn't that right, Rexy?"

He raises Rexy then and pitches his voice up an octave. "Don't worry, Soren, I'll keep you in line."

"Good gods."

"Get used to it, man, funny voices are like ten percent of the job."

Soren swats at him, and Callum dodges it only to almost fall out of his chair. "So you'll fix him?"

"I'll do my best," says Callum with a chuckle. Then, more genuinely, he adds, "You're nothing like your dad, Soren. You're going to be fine. Rexy will make sure of it."

Soren barks out a laugh. "I'm sure he will."

(And he does).

#inspired by that one post of Soren and his toy dragon <3 #i also know that callum stitches an antimagic blanky so i imagine he can also fix a plush dragon #also also i specifically did not name the mother of sorens children but if you know you know #(the twins belong to raayllum) #rayllum #(tangentially) #in anticipation

[ros3ybabe]

Daily Check-in: April 24, 2024 🎀

Wednesday started out so rough, I had a really bad stress breakdown from the pressure I was putting on myself for the exam I have today (Thursday), but luckily my dad was able to calm me down over the phone and my boyfriend motivated me and encouraged me. I don't feel as stressed out anymore, I know that I know the material and I'll do great! (it's a chemistry exam)

🩷 What I Accomplished:

studied chemistry for a good bit

completed 3 chemistry homework assignments

scheduled a make-up quiz for my psyc class

did the Total Body Pilates video from Blogilates

did the 11 minute Wake Up Yoga from Yoga with Adriene

did my morning skincare and journaling

actually, just did my entire morning routine and felt great about it

shipped off shorts I sold on depop

went to chemistry lecture to review for the exam

went to my virtual appointment with a registered dietitian and set some goals for the next 2 weeks

decided to join a step challenge with my health insurance company to win points (they have some cool things in their points shop, plus extra steps during the day is good for my health!)

washed my laundry

made a brain dump list for the remainder of the week

💞 Good Things That Happened:

I really like the dietitian I met with and have another appointment with her in 2 weeks

I really enjoyed using my new 40oz Simple Modern insulated tumbler cup

didn't let my stress breakdown make me go home, very proud of myself for sticking to my plans

went to sleep early

sold another item on depop!

I felt very reassured that I know the content that is going to be on my upcoming exam

the guy who makes sushi at my campus food court made sushi for me and held it until I went to get it so no one would buy it, i could've cried it was so nice of him

I drank coffee on campus and it didn't hurt my stomach for once!

💔 What Could've Gone Better:

need to put less pressure on myself

had some issues with food after my dietitian appointment (sometimes thinking too much about food can be triggering for me, tbh, but my goals are nutrient based which is helpful!!)

started crying before I went to bed because I was feeling oddly emotional (I think I'm starting my period soon)

had to turn down a work shift because I had too much school stuff and that appointment (I need the money so bad tho)

did not drink near enough water

need to be more patient and gentle with myself

also need to really figure out what's going on with my priorities, I keep struggling to do the things I say I'm going to do which is difficult for me to deal with sometimes

need to remember progress over perfection, 50% is always better then doing 0% of something

💗 Stuff For Thursday

clean my room

listen to a podcast episode

maybe do some more laundry

make a grocery list

clean my bathroom

therapy today over video call

reschedule a morning appointment

chemistry exam tonight

try to ship off the shirt I sold on depop

do some more planning and organizing for my life

that's all for now! Thursdays gonna be good. My exam is gonna go great! I have confidence in myself, and my knowledge and I know I've got this!

til next time lovelies 🩷

💕 Song of The Day: Baddie by IVE

Gotta remind myself of this sometimes <3

#pink pilates girl #pink pilates princess #self development #wonyoungism #it girl #mental health #self care #physical health #that girl #self love #that girl energy #it girl energy #pink academia #pink aesthetic #pink blog #college student #student life #college studyblr #studyblr community #studyblr #college studyspo #uniblr #uni student #university student #uni student aesthetic #university life #college life #student #studyspo #study community

[yuurivoice]

A lot of creatives have a point where they have that sorta "Nobody's gonna wanna see this/nobody will care" feeling about their work.

I was wondering if you've ever struggled with that sort of feeling, be it about your audio content or even just other creative projects? If so, how did you end up overcoming it in the end? Do you ever feel that way these days?

Only if you wanna answer ^^

Oh plenty of times! Whether it's due to imposter syndrome, or just a general numbers slump, or something you worked really hard on just not doing as well as you wanted it to...plenty of ways to end up with that sorta hopeless feeling.

This is one of the times where it truly matters why you started doing the thing in the first place, when your intentions get checked. That big ass filter will hit you eventually. Are you here because you wanna create, or because you want number go up? Would you be doing this even if there was no compensation, or are you tapping out the moment you aren't profitable?

So you take a deep breath, feel bad for a little bit, then take a look inwards. What could you do better? What can you change or do in addition to your current approach? What are others doing that's working, and why isn't it working for you?

Sometimes auditing yourself to see what's not working can be rough. Looking at your peers might press on your insecurities. But if you actually want to improve in terms of reach and growth, you can't just piss and moan about algorithms, or how other people are successful, or any of that.

You can always improve in some way or another, and there are always alternative paths to success. Whatever that might look like for you!

When Finn's content was first coming out he didn't do super great. He was cute but he wasn't doing numbers. It bummed me out and soured me on pushing him real hard at the time. Years later, his compilation with many of the same videos I didn't love ended up being my first video over a million views.

There is ALWAYS a way to make shit work. It might not be right when you expected it to be, but it can surprise you if you keep hustling.

A lot of the recent changes I made with thumbnails and other stuff came about because I was frustrated in this exact way. 7 years into it and I was still looking for ways to get better and kick more ass. It'll happen again and again because I'm here for this shit and it's not just a job, it was a hobby that I fell in love with and take pride in. I like getting better, whether it's in the business side or if it's my writing and acting.

But I've never immediately spring back from that initial feeling of frustration. I'll mope and feel bad and get frustrated and upset.

Then it's over, and I get back in the saddle.

So keep on trying, keep on creating, and try to find the joy in it all!

[egg-emperor]

this bday feels more special than usual because there's a lot of big changes coming up in my life and this begins to kick that off in a sense so I've been reflecting on a bunch of stuff

I feel like I'm really on the other side of so much bad painful soul sucking shit now. like I feel I can truly confidently say it this time. FINALLY. I held onto bad things that were doing me so much harm mentally and physically for years and I really struggled to finally let go of a lot of things I should have for the past couple. but now it's really all over and like I can start to move on and heal for real

some huge changes to my personal life are coming up, most of which I'm not going to share but I'm pretty excited about and think will have a big positive impact on me. I'm working hard to make beneficial changes to my life in every way I can now in health and living, as exhausting as it can be with my constant chronic pain and fatigue. I finally have the will and determination to try

it's a waiting game in regards to my health with waiting on referrals but I've done what I've needed to so far with appointments to set it in motion and I'm proud of myself. after years of neglecting myself and my suspected condition, I've finally started it! and I've found out that stress factually affects it very badly, so I have to let go of the things that hurt and stress me out for good

I'm also truly accepting that I'm not a very well liked person to a lot of people. it doesn't matter because there are surely as many who like me too. I see kindness and support from others just as much as hate and I need to put all my focus and energy into the former alone. I want to look as grateful and appreciative as I am, not caught up in negativity. my mind can be a negative place but I'm working on it

and of course as usual, I'm going to keep being myself and following my heart and expressing my passion the way I want. because I'm never going to give up the things I enjoy and repress myself because of the disapproval of others

I feel like I can start looking forward and I'm feeling much more positive about things over all. in a few months time my living situation, hopefully my physical health, and my mindset will hopefully be improved. and it actually has me looking forward to seeing what the future holds

I've been through a lot of tough shit and pain and did some stupid shit along the way but I learned a lot about myself and what I want and need through it and I'm happy to finally be making all the right changes. I'm really glad I feel like I'm on the otherside of it, especially after how bad the past couple of years have been especially for me

and I just wanna say thank you to everyone who has supported me and stuck around when I was struggling and will be here to see the better version of myself and enjoy my blog. it means the world to me 💜

now I'm gonna go out and have a good bday today!

[mokeonn]

One of my favorite things about being in my early 20s is that I'm starting to understand that I can use things not for their intended purpose. When you're growing up, you get told what an object is and what its intended purpose is, and as a kid/teen, I just accepted all of it at face value. As a young adult it's finally clicking that I can simply do things a different way if it makes me happier. Sure, I was taught that you stand to take a shower, but there's nothing stopping me from just sitting if I don't feel like it, ya know? I might have always had my medication in the kitchen, but if I'm no longer remembering to take it, I can just move it somewhere where I can remember. You don't have to specifically store all food in the kitchen, you can have a little snack cart or snack station in another room.

The downside to finding out the various ways you can use objects is that you develop habits that would probably go on an r/relationships post where everyone says you're a little freak.

#simon says #i just developed a new habit (it's too tmi to put here) and I just know that it's some weird shit #it works and it makes me feel better so I'm gonna keep doing it #but it's some shit that would end up viral where everyone would go 'yo op you should break up with them thats weird' 😔 #i was just thinking about this though because every week or so I learn that I can just do what I want #because there's no fucking object use police I can do what I want #i HIGHLY suggest getting into this habit. if you find something annoying or frustrating you can just do it differently #'I hate washing the dishes because my legs hurt from standing for so long' you can bring a chair and sit or you can break it up into chunks #like on the one hand I'm learning this because I have autism and a plethora of other mental disorders #and it's FINALLY clicking that I can self accommodate whenever and however I so please #I'm just sorta learning that if doing something makes me feel better/happy/gets the job done to do that thing #even if it requires using an object in an odd way #hell there's even some little things I've been playing with #for example: my whole life we sorta just lifted blinds only about halfway up #just sorta how we did it ya know #well recently I decided I wanted more natural light in the sunroom/my office so I wouldn't have to turn on the lamp #and I lifted the blinds all the way up to the very top #and honestly?? it fucking rules. the room looks nicer; i get natural light; i can see the forest out back and it's quite calming and nice #like for ages I just never thought about doing that because it just never occurred to me that I could #i just always put blinds about halfway up because that's about how high blinds do in my household #another little one I learned is that I can just... wash my hair #sometimes when I get too depressed or if my body doesn't need a shower but my hair is greasy #I just shove my head under the bathtub facet and wash my hair #it's just a small thing but for years if my hair needed to be washed I would just take a full shower #now I just fix my greasy hair. bc greasy hair is a huge ick for me but sometimes my body is still clean or im too tired to fully shower #like there's nothing stopping me from doing that and it doesn't hurt anyone. it's just a way of bathing that I wasn't taught #but yeah those are some recent examples of me learning I can just... do stuff differently #the free will is kicking in babes and it has decided I love finding ways to use things differently #it's why im doing a bg3 run where I just press loot all no matter what and use whatever I can in odd ways #anyways I might delete this later might not who knows

[lord-squiggletits]

I need to reread the comics again to have specific arguments/evidence for this, but like

I feel a bit like I could've been sympathetic to the way other Cybertronian colonies view Cybertron, if it weren't for the fact that at least several of them (as in, ones that get notable dialogue/screen time) are so low-key self-righteous?

Like, idk... there's a lot of criticism of Cybertronians because they're so "warlike" and how their obsession with violence and vengeance is just dragging the whole galaxy down with them, but uh. The Autobot-Decepticon war was basically a product of societal ills bubbling over for like 6 million years beforehand and then finally boiling over into a 4 million year war that lasted as long as it did because the people involved had immense social/psychological trauma from being "raised" in an oppressive society.

So when the colonists come in being all 'omg you people are so violent and uncivilized why don't you just like, stop fighting' it kind of pissed me off a little bit as a reader/person like. Idk the colonists really came into this society of people full of massive amounts of trauma where even before the war society was super oppressive and no one has any experience of living "normal" lives unaffected by violence and bigotry. And the colonists were like "ummm wow why don't you guys just??? stop fighting???." Like idk it wasn't EVERY SINGLE MOMENT, in fact I think that when it was played for laughs it's quite a funny "fridge horror" type element. It was just annoying because like.... IDK???? It's just really annoying to watch a bunch of people who lived relatively sheltered lives on their own planets come to a different planet full of traumatized people and be like "omg why are you people so fucked up" IDK BRO MAYBE BECAUSE THEIR SOCIETY WAS OPPRESSIVE AND THEY LIVED THROUGH A LIFELONG WAR???

It also doesn't help that the colonies were literally founded based on imperialism and conquest so like, it's fucking rich to hear colonists scolding Cybertronians for their violence ruining the whole galaxy while literally sitting on planets that their Primes colonized from others. The hypocrisy of this is briefly mentioned in Unicron (literally the FINAL STORY OF THE SERIES) but like, that's basically the only time Cybertronian characters are given a reprieve of sympathy from other characters in universe and it's so tiresome.

I've talked to other people who didn't like the colonists and thought they basically (narratively speaking) existed just to shit on the existing characters, and it's actually really easy for me to sympathize with/outright agree with that assessment of the story considering how much of exRID/OP seems to be preoccupied with "Cybertron/the Primes/Optimus sucks" with very few reprieves for anything positive happening and even fewer chances for characters to get to explain themselves and experience a little bit of justice? Like, as the audience, it's just very frustrating to see the characters you spent hundreds of issues keeping up with get shit on by a bunch of "literally-who"s and then not really get a chance to ever defend themselves, either by literally defending themselves in conversation or having some sort of narrative thing happening that vindicates them at least symbolically

#squiggposting #paused work to muse about this which i prolly shouldn't have lol #oh well i'll still get stuff done #like idk an example of this is how pyra criticized OP for using religion to manipulate people #(lets just ignore how she said she would teach OP but never actually did) #but in the story there's never any sort of confrontation where pyra learns about history or talks with OP #and OP gets to be like. yeah on my planet primes fucking sucked and i'm the only one trying to redeem their image #also ive been fighting an endless war that lasted 4 mil years in which me being a shining figurehead was basically #the sole motivating force keeping my army from just collectively succumbing to endless despair #and i also had to use this shining figurehead image i had to keep the opposing army from genociding a bunch of organics #like not once does OP get to express his side of things he's basically just shit upon endlessly by other characters as he keeps doing plot #i feel like i had another example but i can't recall who/what was involved lmao #like idk it's not just that barber's writing is depressing and dark and edgy. i LIKE stories that do that kind of thing #it's just that it feels a bit as if the story is ENDLESSLY depressing and dark and edgy with almost no reprieve #as if it's mostly presenting the flaws of the characters with no chance for them to justify or redeem themselves #idk i feel like there was another better point/example i was gonna make but i can't remember it #like idk i guess a dark depressing story would've been better if the characters at least got to defend themselves #bc as is it basically feels like they (esp OP) get shit on endlessly and never once get to express anything about it #so like. they get shit on in universe. but also as the reader since there's never a contradicting viewpoint or the character defending them #it's as if you're supposed to take this one-sided criticism of them at face value and it just doesn't seem fair AS THE READER #if i read about OP getting shit on by some people and defended by others and also him expressing his opinion on himself #then that just feels like a normal fair narrative where i get to take sides #but if it's just OP being shit on and he hardly expresses much about it #then it feels like i as the reader am expected to agree with the portrayal being shown? #but in reality the portrayal just feels negative and unfair and one sided to me #and why the fuck do i want to read a story that's just the characters i know and like on an endless shame parade #also shout out to 'literally who' aka slide calling OP 'literally fascist' lmao #one of the most cringe moments of the entire comic. wait no. i can think of a more cringe Slide Moment #when unicron is about to destroy the planet and trypticon is getting shot and dying(?) in the background #and the story decides to pause and focus on Slide so she can monologue about how evil and tyrannical OP is

[alectoperdita]

I wanna protect everyone who's still willing to draw joukai art in this day and age while braving how it's increasingly the fandom black sheep ship and tumblr's shitty reblogging drought

#not gonna lie I get so mad sometimes when I look at the notes and reblog rates of this ship's art compared to others #not gonna say which but it feels like every damn one at this point #but I can't blame anyone who gives up because they don't feel like they're getting validated for their efforts #makes me sad when they do or decide it's better to invest their time in other ships #understandably not everyone can keep going on spite like I do #🧂🧂🧂 #yeah yeah preaching to the crowd #there are many rare pairs out there with it worse #but at least no one is telling them that their ship is abusive or lecturing them #or i hope not because that shit is patronizing as hell and people should stfu #unsurprisingly I still have a chip on my shoulder there #look my brain is in an awful place because of work and I'm gonna rant about fandom instead

[xhanisai]

I do kind of feel a bit spoilt with how the fandom pre-pandemic would share my work easily (fics getting hundreds and even thousands of notes on tumblr and on AO3 immediately and arts getting thousands of notes too). Back then, my work was so eUGH compared to the work I create now which is so much more polished and well thought out.

And now? It’s such a struggle for my art to reach even a hundred notes on this app alone and my fics take a long time to accumulate some attention on ao3. At first I thought it was because my creations have gotten WORSE lol but then I realised it’s been happening to all my friends too online.

Kinda sad tbh.

#delete later #i know that X amount of likes or notes on work doesn't necessarily mean that it's great quality #but i like seeing and knowing that people out there on the internet are enjoying what i put out #and i want more people to see what i can do if that makes sense? #my mentality is a little fucked right now because in the past i created mainly for me and i enjoyed what i did to an extent #but now i'm at that stupid stage where i hate everything i draw and get bored of my own writing and i don't like that #so validation online sort of helps with that mentality to go away #i can't keep up with internet art trends to get the attention on my work that i want that is not a realistic and healthy way of life #and i refuse to touch any salt or negativity in the ml fandom just to get the hivemind to find my work #my most popular work on ao3 is only popular because of lila karma and that makes me so mad because i write 100000x better than that LMAO #but people just wanna see a 14 yr old italian nightmare girl get expelled from school over and over again and i'm just tired af of it #as for art with twitter it's a bit of a russian roulette #you don't know what will be a banger and what won't unless you pay special attention or have a decent following or are always grinding #i don't think my art is for tumblr #i do appreciate the few people who always love and reblog it but i've always known from the start that my art isn't what would be popular #on this hellsite #oh well it is what it is #also don't worry i'm never gonna stop drawing nor am i ever gonna stop writing those two are literally my only outlets of my life #and the only way i can get emotions and feelings out of my body without exploding #and i am still madly in love with ML and will always be obsessed with it #i just miss how the prepandemic fandom would interact with my work and let me know what they thought and all the asks they sent about the #aus i created #it was a good period on this hellsite for me

[famewolf]

my brain has been really out of whack recently (I think it's the time change among other things) so I'm going to try out some things to see if they help

I might not be on social media a whole lot in the next week or two, but if you're mutuals and want my discord, send me a message

#[static] #I cleared out my queue so I don't feel like I need to keep it going #I'm trying to limit my time on my phone since I've noticed that I've been getting sucked back into it for Hours every day which I *hate* #it's this weird paradox of wanting to keep up with my friends but also knowing that I get sucked into checking the rest of the app - #- that I need to figure out #tumblr is one of the few social medias that I don't get that sucked into but i do like to keep up to date with #for news and friends reasons #but im gonna basically not be using my phone at all except for music for the next while until my brain feels better #it's also the busiest week of the year in my line of work so i want to be sure im taking care of myself #my brain fog has been suuuper bad and being on my phone makes it worse #i wish we all lived closer so that i could just go hang out with ppl instead of being attached to my dumb phone #using phone = less time to do things i like too which also makes me mad when I do it #i dont even like my phone bro ... but tiktok gets me tbh i'll sit on my phone for like 2 hours straight just watching funny little videos

[byanyan]

don't u love that I went from working oldest to newest on my drafts to working newest to oldest?

#I feel bad bc those ones in the middle just end up sitting in there longer #but this is what's working for me now and it's working weirdly well & I'm trying not to jinx it #so I'm just rolling with it :x #I'M GETTING THROUGH THINGS AGAIN that's what matters but I feel bad if I was getting closer to Urs #and now suddenly it's gonna be even longer before I get there abfkgdh #but I usually have stronger muse for the newer stuff so like?? it's def flowing better this way #let's me keep up with the new stuff while also making my way toward some of the older #it was more daunting to do it that way before when I had like 60 drafts but at 30?? I'm kinda just chillin suddenly idek #........i hate the number of typos writing tags on mobile causes me jfc #ANYWAY. point is I'm doin stuff again and also I love u guys I hope ur week's been going well 💜 #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Okay okay so. Thinking.

I've mapped out how I want to pay off my credit cards, which means I'll only be getting new stuff pretty sporadically, which means I need to appreciate the zero cost things in my life, like:

- the 2.5 foot tall stack of unread books I have

- the violin I might finally actually pick up again

- the 500+ drawing prompts I've been hoarding

- the list of anime I still need to watch

- the 3000+ songs in my watch later playlist

- the stickers I've been neglecting to cut

- yarn??? I have a lot of yarn

- all the pink fabric leftover from moth cosplay

- the candles and incense I also already have

In short, time to actually use the stuff that I have 😭

#though. i do want one more candle. they're putting minty smells in the winter ones and it smells cold #i need a cold smelling candle that is warm and on fire i just need that very strange contrast #but yeah!! will spend a little testing out acrylic charms but for the most part #we're gonna hang out at home for a while and express gratitude or whatever lmao #okay but i think it will actually be nice to start getting through all those books skjfkdkd #and to watch the bigger name anime to actually see them lmao; saw a lot at the con i recognized but hadn't actually watched #and also my music!! all my music bc i am clinically insane about music; miku playlist advancement... #this isn't even touching on the games i have now ksjfkf if either of you are reading this 👀 i still wanna get yall something #and I'm planning the exact day i wanna do it 😤 #but yeah I'm thinking it over and am like. oh boy time for self improvement skjdkfkf #also finances will get easier bc im not ubering all over and I'm not seeing docs for my stomach now that the ulcer has been resolved #i made back half of what i spent getting the car in only 4 months and that feels good to see #it's still gonna be some hard work but we're gonna make it; I'm also highballing one of the cards #the hotel put a damages hold on my card and my math factors that in; they said that money would go back to me in 5 or so #business days so that'll be a little less to be concerned with; I'll still try to pay what numbers i found though #do it faster and do it better and idk what the fuck I'll do with the cards bc. 30% apr........... #idk i could get groceries with them and then pay them off? take that credit score you'll just eat that shit up won't you.. #surprisingly my credit score hasn't taken any super ugly hits from this and i aim to keep it that way lmao #anyways. that's a lot of words to say that i want to actually use my stuff lmao #shai speaks

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Watched all of Rubius’ r/place videos while pounding a bottle of wine I’ve been trying to get rid of for ages and MAN. MANNNN. I really love Rubius. r/place was such an incredible experience, and watching his videos reminded me of just how hype and fun the r/place phenomenon was

#i talk #mcyt talk #I guess #Rubius is NOT a mcyt-er but I don't have another ''catch all'' tag for this so whatever #also to be completely transparent: this wine is like 50% juice because I keep tossing juice I can't finish in there #because like what else am I gonna do - waste juice? heck no #always drink responsibly #but anyways HOOO BOY THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN #was feeling a bit ''agh'' because I'm going back into the office tomorrow for the first time in ages #and that always stresses me out even though I work remotely 90% of the time #but I feel a bit better after watching all that #even though I know I'll be suffering in a few hours because No Sleep #it is what it is I suppose #hashtag worth it #I really do feel like my spanish is - somehow - becoming better #I think it's a mix of me translating stuff for KarmaIand's english community #and translating words I don't know over and over and then remembering them after the 10th time or whatever #I'm someone who Really Can't Learn Languages outside of a (well-structured well-taught) class #but this is more progress than I've made in ages and it makes me feel good #I'll always be grateful to Quackity for helping me feel more comfortable trying to learn again #without feeling ashamed that I didn't already know Spanish #anyways #I'd love to do more translation stuff for KarmaIand #been learning even MORE fun new sony vegas tricks thanks to my shenanigans on the other blog so that's been fun #night y'all #r place #rplace

[werewolf4vampire]

hmm. i think. maybe i can't actually get better

#i'm sure this feeling will pass. it always does #but god there are just so many barriers. so many doctors i need to see. tests to do. exercises that will exhaust and hurt me at first #difficult mental exercises that will cause me emotional anguish at first while i'm bad at them #the guarantee that i'm going to feel beaten down & hopeless. repeatedly. indefinitely. until i finally start seeing progress #until i finally find the right doctors. the right tests. the right treatments. build up my strength. and stamina. #all the while i'm on a ticking clock in regards to my pets and family who are just gonna keep getting older #who fucking knows how long it will take to be Better and i'm fucking running out of time. i need to be better tomorrow #i need to be better yesterday. last year. two‚ three years ago #and ALL of this while i'm trying to figure out what kind of meager amount of income i could potentially make #how do you work while you're completely and utterly broken? how do you pay for those vet bills? new exercise shoes #to help with your pain? (the old ones are a decade old). a new desk chair so you could potentially do work at your desk #new clothes everytime you gain more fucking weight #and then you start to wonder: is all this stress giving you health issues? are you gonna have a bad heart in 5-10 years? #how do i reduce this stress so i can deal with these things better??? how do i reduce stress when it consumes my entire fucking life?? #i am. so tired #darryl speaks

[welcometogrouchland]

I'm on hiatus from thinking for the next while. Discursive and analytical fandom practices I love you so so much you are in everything I do, including the silliest of headcanons and comics but FUCK I am not equipped to think about. Anything right now

#ramblings of a lunatic #tbh my art muscles are exhausted too so i think I'm just gonna. be a bottom feeder for a little while. #like a deep sea creature letting plankton drift into it's mouth on the ocean floor yknow #hard to do when half your dash is about stuff u are not a part of and the other half is abt the fandom that's in hiatus #and approaching it's finale (and the end of a show should NOT be the end of a fandom it should NOT but. i know how these things play out) #and i can't just rewatch the episodes bc I've literally seen them too many times now #and watching them is like. oh hey episode! blink. it's over #bc everything is MEMORIZED AT THIS POINT #the obvious answer would be to go watch something else rn but i keep TRYING AND IT'S NOT WORKING. I ONLY WANT THE SPRINTEREST RN #but i also don't if that makes sense. i want the spinterest to be new but also comforting and different but also the same #aka i want a new episode to release bc i dislike the quiet fandom during hiatus BUT i don't want it to air bc then the show is over #so I'm just kinda. sitting here. frustrated #sitting on all my art and text posts bc I'm in a funk rn and none of them feel Right™ #bc (CIRCLING BACK AROUND TO THE ACTUAL BODY OF THIS POST) they're all my usual hc/analytical fair #but i like to always have a good sense of character when i make those but those require REWATCHES FOR ME and i CAN'T REWATCH #BC OF ALL THE ABOVE THINGS I MENTIONED #oh man. i feel a bit better writing it down though. getting it out there somewhere in a semi-articulate way #I'm not done with my current hyperfixation- far from it depending on how the show ends- I'm just pre-bummed about the finale #and how it's gonna impact the fan environment that normally supplements my own fan activities like rewatches fanart etc #ohhhh my god that felt good to explain #it's to no one in particular but it felt good. this talking about your feelings shit actually works man #anyway please pray for me that i go to sleep some time tonight bc i slept for 5 hours in the middle of the day #after staying up the previous night #and i do not wanna throw my sleep schedule too far outta wack #(i think..i need to watch more movies? less commitment than series but distract me for a good bit. send reqs ig!)

[shrimp1y]

sorry to the few ppl on my dash I am not spam liking on ur blog ur just the only ones on my dash

#krill livestream #and i like. stuff. when i like them. bc im like Hehehehe I will use this button as i9ntended #my autism knows no bound i wish I was funny and charismatic online but no. i am just as strange as irl. its also bc ive decided to unmask #more so I'm not like. Forcibly overthinking my reactions and talkin anymore. so what if I just talk to myself in tags most of the time. #makes me happy when people see it and give me a little like (button used as intended) #like i definitely have a reason for mumbling to myself in public instead of journalling its bc i do wanna be seen and i do want to interact #i am just. like this. its better than when i used to argue with people on the internet for social interactions #basically i just. dont try too hard to micromanage social interactions anymore. this means i might end up saying stupid impolite shit or #do a lot of social faux pas but i hope. nice people understand. like im not gonna be rude on purpose im not trying to be flippant #like as much as nd folks thrive online even within nd circles there are so many social cues and rules that can be unfamiliar #ngl i have many times deleted a reblog with long ass tags bc i was like wait what if im overstepping. but i dont reblog it #bc im like well. feels untrue if i reblog without thoughts when i do have thoughts #nothin against op or anyone im just. i . im like I do Like It but yknow better to keep my tags to myself #bc sometimes they are terrible mind you like i fully agree if you see smth ignorant come outta my mouth and ur like hey. #keep that to urself. id be like banger thanks sorry filter doesnt work