#it's complicated too tbh and it's... very very interesting to me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

emmafrostyyy · 6 months

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y'all sleeping on Astarion/Lae'zel bc this moment is so...the way the flippant demeanor drops and he doesn't hesitate to call her out for sticking with her version of Cazador like their relationship is so underrated fr...

sitting down writing this bullshit like let me peel it like an onion a bit and elaborate why this pairing is fascinating to me

It's really interesting how during the most cathartic, life-altering moment in Astarion's questline, the reactions of the other companions are more about the moral wrongness/guilt of sacrificing innocent lives. Lae'zel doesn't do that and instead relates to his hurt.

She knows what's he's feeling, the lack of control, the unfairness of being powerless for too long. This is a woman who just found out her entire life purpose was built on lies, discarded and hunted by her own people after outliving her usefulness, and groomed to basically die for an insane power-hungry lich queen. She knows all too well that power isn't always real freedom. Her first instinct is to empathize with Astarion to steer him away from his hate and resentment.

Astarion/Lae'zel is so interesting to me because they're such a classic "can we make each other worse or make a better person out of the other?".

They both have genuine appreciation for violence and respect each other's ruthlessness. Astarion was used as a weapon of seduction while Lae'zel was of warfare. Sex with people is meaningless and not real intimacy for them, and while both have little understanding/experience of interpersonal relationships beyond the physical, they still feel and love very deeply. They have no frame of reference for things like friendship and warmth, but they badly want all of that and more, even if they don't know it yet.

In-game they can sleep with each other, which is basically the foundation of the normal Tav/Astarion romance. Lae'zel saw him during combat and got horny, who knows. Astarion who's used to luring people with his charms, takes up Lae'zel's blunt offer because she's a strong hardened warrior that can provide protection and be a worthy ally, and he doesn't know how to say no. Navigating the complications between one who wants to be seen beyond as a sex object, and one who comes from a totally alien culture with no concept of love/family/connections and only sex is honestly really compelling to me. It's a transactional, mutually beneficial thing with no emotional expectations. Once you get past the skeevy rockiness of their early relationship, I really like the idea of them slowly seeing something past the exterior and realizing they may have harshly misjudged the other, an unspoken friendship blooms, and in comes the realization that they are essentially loners longing for kindness and a comforting touch in the most desperate of situations.

Lae'zel is prideful, direct, has no sense of courtship talk, and doesn't hold back her thoughts the slightest--she's not sweet/agreeable and what you see is really what you get, which I imagine would be disarming for Astarion who's used to vacuous flattery and has difficulty trusting others. But she's also insanely protective, passionate, loyal, and an initiator-- every romance scene is triggered by her first and she's always showing effort towards her relationships, which would mesh well with Astarion who does need someone to nudge him.

She doesn't purposely suppress her feelings, she's just simply at loss at how to express them sometimes due to her wildly different upbringing. She stops the sparring match you agree to and an easy vulnerability slips instantly out of her: "I don't want to hurt you. I want to protect you, and for you to protect me." and "Thus far I've taunted you, devoured you, battled you. Now I want more than anything to soothe you." are romantic as fuck and Astarion of all people really needs to hear that tbh.

Astarion is also someone who struggles with reinforcing his boundaries, and a key theme in Lae'zel's romance is that she encourages and wants you to challenge her and learn to stand your ground. It's not gentlest method, but hey, relationships are about having to make an effort to learn each other's language.

I think he also would take pleasure "educating her on the matters of Fay-run" (I believe there's a whole banter with him teasing her and teaching her pet names) and would get a kick out of coaxing Lae'zel out of her shell with her shyness at showing public affection, and making her blush. Also it simply would be fucking funny to see Astarion who's used to easy seduction, trying to pass a persuasion check just to get a smooch and generally having to work to earn regular kisses from Lae'zel lmfaooo

Lae'zel also initially struggles to see her chains as chains. When she learns about Vlaakith's betrayal, she copes instantly through denial and shuts it down. Astarion is NOT having it and calls her out, he knows her well enough to recognize that she would value blunt honesty above all.

I imagine he also despises her lack of self-preservation, the way her entire identity is tied to duty and being in service of others, and doesn't understand her desire to still help/liberate the people that want her dead and are hunting her down. He wants to make this duty-bound soldier realize that looking out for herself, and putting herself first may not be the worst thing in the world.

They're so similar to each other but are also polar opposites in some ways that make a more equal, balanced romance I think. It's not a simple, one-sided, feel-good "she/he can fix her/him" fantasy because both of them have to earn each other's love, actually cut through the other's flaws, and actively motivate each other to be better versions of themselves.

They're not at all the other's ideal guiding hand. It's rough, jagged, and imperfect, but that's how healing goes. It's so far from being the healthiest relationship -- but even if their belief systems differ, their moral compass does often align. I imagine it's a slight relief for them to have a partner where there would be less shame and judgment when they expectedly, occasionally slip up and fall into their bad habits.

Also, man, the "You showed me the betweens and beyonds. Beyond war and peace, beyond passion and obsession, most importantly, you showed me freedom.", "First you were my wound, now you were my cure.", "But you saw something else in me - someone else I could be. Someone who could break the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago.." lines really hit hard when applied to them.

Of course, they can also make each other worse, feed into the other's negative traits that will bring out the worst part of themselves. It's this duality of their pairing that is very interesting to explore, the way it can steer in either direction because it's an intense, fraught relationship at its core.

#when he gets called by omeluum “child of the dark” and her “child of the stars” like yeah..the squid man is being literal but he Gets It fr.#lae'zel #astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 meta #astarion ancunin #astarion x lae'zel #lae'zel x astarion #the rarest of rarepairs they dont even got a ship name...this is so tragique we need to discuss the pathos and potential of this pairing #bg3 lae'zel #bg3 astarion #also im a sucker for stoic knight/court darling trope and whatever variations of it yeah #bloodbruise

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sinterblackwell · 2 years

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i would like to send a sincere apology to karla nikole because after my re-read of her second book in the lore & lust series, it has come to my attention that it is actually pretty brilliant….which wasn’t exactly my full opinion the first time around :’)

#❣️#it was the cellina & giovanni subplot #when i first read the book i remember feeling very disheartened at the idea of reading from cellina’s pov bc i just didn’t care too much #i was more invested in everything else that was going on rather than seeing cellina & giovannie reconcile #and maybe that had to do with the fact that i was jumping straight into the second book after falling in love with haru & nino #so maybe i was more invested in hearing from them (especially after what eventually happens to nino)#but like rereading this book months later i actually really appreciate what the author did?? and it baffles me because #while i did yet again skim over all those flashback scenes of cellina & giovanni— the present day scenes did hold a lot of significance #i mentioned in my initial review how objectively cellina’s pov made sense and it answered a lot of questions #to the tension that was obvious between giovanni & nino as siblings and the complicated relationship there between them both & cellina #it was interesting getting to learn more about giovanni and the secrets he held and it felt important to see him express relief when #other characters help chip in to carry that weight of all those secrets and sole responsibilities off of him #but i just didn’t…care the first time around #reading this book again—i fell in love with how the author wrote cellina’s pov #i loved learning about cellina’s career in the art world and how she & giovanni so obviously balanced each other out when it came to busines #it was pretty fascinating tbh so…i really am sorry that i couldn’t see it the first time around #this wasn’t a case of ‘second book syndrome’ where inevitably the sequel to a series typically falls flat #i was just being ignorant #so rather than being like a ‘some criticisms aside i did still really enjoy this 4.5’#my rating for ‘the vanishing’ is a strong ‘i completely praise the author for all that she put into this second book and i loved it 4.5’ <3 #lore & lust chronicles #booklr

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leviscolwill · 6 months

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something to give each other

pairing: situationship!jude x reader

summary: jude and you are nothing complicated, until one night when you need him more than anything [wc:~800]

contents: angst & fluff at the same time bc why not + maybe a tiny bit suggestive ? idek if this classify as suggestive tbh

note: ikkk it's very short and that's a shit summary just read pls 😓 if u liked it, lmk by reblogging !!

now playing something to give each other by troye sivan...

you don't know what brought you two together. maybe it was the magnetic energy that he had to him, or maybe it was the way your personalities completed each other perfectly. either way, you found yourself wishing your paths never crossed a bit too often.

you and jude weren't anything serious, it was ‘less complicated’ this way according to him. you hung out with your shared friends and when everyone else was heading home, you would share a uber to his house or yours. it was simple really, you both got what you wanted by the end of the night.

and tonight, you needed him to take your mind off this awful day. you couldn't wait for him to make you forget about those stupid exams and these stupid arguments with your friends.

you didn't take the time to greet him like you usually did before kissing jude's lips, maybe bolder than he expected. his fingers gripped your jaw and forced you to slow down and separate from him.

“what's with you tonight?”, you could only roll your eyes at his comment, small talk being the last thing on your mind tonight. thankfully, your fingers raking the skin under his shirt was enough to shut him up. “i just need you, please jude.”

his eyes closed, it was hard to resist your pleas but your voice had a tone that was different than usual and he didn't want you to do something you might regret later, “no, you need to tell me what's going on, we're not doing anything if you don't.”

“fuck off, you never ask me about anything and suddenly you're interested in what's going on?” you couldn't understand the sudden switch in his behavior, it had always been just sex, why complicate it now? “i just need you to kiss me, take off my clothes, and make me feel good, is this too much to ask for?” you could feel your eyes well up in tears the more you spoke, already frustrated by your day, and not wanting to argue with him.

“it's fine if you don't want to have sex, i'll just text someone else.”, of course you didn't mean a word that came out of your mouth, if anything you would leave and cry yourself to sleep in your bed. jude's thumbs wiped tears that you didn't notice were falling before cupping your face in his hands. his eyes looked into yours in a way you weren't used to, your eyes fell on the floor from the intensity of his gaze, but two of his fingers were already tilting your face up, forcing you to make eye contact with him.

the silence between the two of you was becoming embarrassing, “i'm sorry about… all of this, i'll just go. sorry.” you couldn't even turn your back to him before his hand found your wrist, “you're not going anywhere. stay the night, please.”

you couldn't hide the frown on your face, confused by his words, “but you said you wouldn't…” the boy in front of you dramatically pretended to get offended, “this information might surprise you, but my life doesn't revolve around sex.” the giggles that escaped your mouth brought back a smile on both your lips.

jude's hand brought you to his room, although you knew the way all too well already, the warmth of his hand in yours brought you a sense of comfort that you didn't know you longed for. he handed you a shirt that was probably twice your size but would be perfect to sleep in. you embarrassingly looked around you before asking him to turn around, he complied but laughed his back now facing you.

“i've seen you naked so many times already, you shouldn't care about this love” heat was creeping up your face thinking about what he was hinting at, “s’ just different that's all…” your voice was barely audible, and you couldn't even tell if jude heard your words. you got under his sheets and told him he could turn around, his bed now significantly warmer with him next to you.

even with his eyes shut, jude could tell you were tense laying next to him ramrod straight. you felt his arm around you pull you closer, your face now nuzzled into the crook of his neck.

you felt him shift a bit, and kiss the crown of your hair. the action made you heart skip a beat or two and relax more. you hoped you did a good job at pretending to be asleep because you didn't want to deal with the consequences of his ambiguous gestures in the morning. his fingers slowly stroking your hair were lulling you to sleep for real this time.

jude stopped once he heard your light snores and pressed on one more kiss on top of your head. he didn't let himself fall into the arms of morpheus though, already thinking about how he would fix whatever he started tonight.

#giving my fav boy some love after a long time 🤭#i love situationship!jude i hope you enjoyed that one 💗#jude bellingham #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham fluff #jude bellingham angst #jude bellingham fanfic #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham one shot #jude bellingham x you #football one shot #football fanfic #football fluff #football angst #football imagine #football x reader #football x you #footballer imagine

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carnalcervidae · 2 months

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I fucking love weight gain denial in a lot of ways tbh um

I love characters profusely denying that they’ve gained weight, that their clothes don’t fit them. I love characters denying that they eat too much, insisting they’re actually dieting as we speak, etc.

I feel like a ton of kink revolves around some type of disavowal. Non-consent kink is all about the disavowal, for example. If the sex isn’t your fault at all, if you didn’t initiate, then you don’t have to harbor the responsibility of it being exactly what you enjoy. You don’t have to bear the weight of desiring the taboo if everything you desire is given to you without an option to say no. Similar to forcefeeding: if i’m being fed against my will, and it’s not my choice, i don’t have to admit i wanted it. I don’t have to feel guilty for how my body is or how it ends up if i’m not the one who made it fat.

I feel like denial really exemplifies this for me in an interesting way. The disavowal is more about not feeling guilty for enjoying fatness. If i’m “unaware” of my own fatness i don’t have to verbally admit to enjoying it. I can profusely deny that i like being fat, and enjoying it can be my own little secret. I can admire the body of another fat person without admitting to them why i like it, because they’re blissfully and comically unaware of their own body. I don’t have to face the fact that it’s considered taboo to like this, and if the other person found out that i liked their fatness specifically they might be weirded out by me.

But i think what i enjoy most about it, is when it’s a bit like flirting. Flirting as implying something without admitting that that’s what you said, implying you find someone attractive without owning up to having said that, unless, of course, they reciprocate with more flirting.

Saying with full confidence that you totally haven’t gained any weight while your shorts are ripping at the seams; saying you’re on a diet while holding several burgers in a bag; contradicting yourself by saying you’re not that fat when moments earlier you claimed to have actually lost weight. It’s an invitation for the other party to reciprocate; of course, you’re not that big! Why, you’ve earned yourself a cheat day if you’ve been dieting so much! You’re just bulking after all. It’s all a very complicated dance to say, without saying it directly, “I love being fat, and i hope you love me being fat too.”

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astrolavas · 1 year

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Who do you think Hunter will stay with at the end of the show? Or who do you want him to stay with

tbh out of all the possible future caretakers of hunter, my primary hope for who will adopt him rn rly is camila. y'know, loved all the different possibilities too but…. camila ❤️❤️❤️ like, just. like. that's his MOMMMM

the vision of him living with camila (and luz and vee), going to hexside (cuz obv there's gonna a portal), and having a woodcarving mentorship under the clawthornes' and some mentorship under darius. and then once in a while occassionally staying over at the owl house.... Y'KNOW? so real.

camila's just too perfect of an option, LIKE. he spent months under her care already, he doesn't have even one bad experience with her that could possibly make him doubt and feel bad abt their relationship (no feeling like he needs to prove himself to gain her respect, no complicated past that'd have to be dealt with, no wondering if the care he's shown is genuine, no previous authority issues, no previous hostility etc etc) like camila's been extremely sweet and caring towards him and nothing else since the very start. it makes me sOO... 🤲😔❤️

the very first MOMENT they interact and hunter kneels in front of her out of respect she warmly tells him to never do it again; makes it clear that he doesn't have to be overly formal with her. just offers her kindness, expecting nothing in return. right away.

camila is probably the first adult ever that hunter associates with only warmth and goodness and whom he feels comfortable with from the start, with whom he doesn't have any past grudges or things they'd need to work out, just.. unconditional love. and justttt just just oughhhghh she called him baby. she's been basically treating him like her son already, and she's SUCH a good and supportive mom, to luz, to vee, to hexsquad. she taught him how to sew. she DIVED into FREEZING WATER at an OLD ABANDONED CEMETERY without a second thought in order to save him. JUST!!!!

him wanting to impress her with the spanish. her touching his shoulder and him showing not even an OUNCE of fear, just smiling and knowing she's not going to hurt him. him taking up interest in camila's and manny's old hobby. camila having experience with dealing with grief.. oof. him being happy living in the human realm (wanting to do things in the demon realm as well but having ties to BOTH worlds). even the fact that the entire noceda family is clearly neurodivergent, just like him. even him being an animal enjoyer and camila having a vet clinic, which- he WOULD LOVE to volunteer there in his free time, like?? COME ON.

AND THIS???? okay......

and we KNOW he WANTS to have a permanent family. it's established at the beginning of the episode when he looks sad as others hang up their family drawings. he wants ppl to care abt him, he wants to have a place to call home, wants to feel safe. he cries (from happiness) when luz calls him family.

and camila cares abt all of these kids so much. she was willing to take vee and hexsquad in JUST LIKE THAT. we can even assume her and manny wanted more kids, like just OUGHHGH she wouldn't even have to think twice before taking hunter in permanently. and she most likely knows hunter doesn't have anyone. she's not going to let him just….. go away on his own after everything is over, or make him move out or sth 💀 she'll want to help him, she'll want him to be safe and cared for.

like the only other possibilities for who else hunter could stay with after the show were: darius, eda/the clawthornes, or joint custody. but imo after... he lived under camila's roof for MONTHS, found a place that he feels safe in.. nocedas are just the best and healthiest option for him. after he'd spent MONTHS feeling happy with camila, i don't think it'd be good for him to be thrust into a completely new environment, and.. there's simply no time for his connection with other adults to be properly fleshed out, or to establish that he'd prefer anyone over nocedas.

like, i feel like sth has to happen with darius as well cuz their arc is unfinished, esp since it's been hinted they've grown closer since ASiAS, and there's a lot they could talk abt now re: grief + darius' mentor... so they HAVE to reunite at least. however, in my opinion at this point of the show there'd be just no time to conclude it as a parent-child bond in a satisfactory way. especially because there would be a LOT they'd have to work through first, considering their very complicated past.

like, all these years in the coven, their relationship pre-ASiaS, how darius treated hunter all these years... we know their relationship has progressed positively since ASiAS (even though mostly in the background/subtext) but still, i feel like it'd definitely take a while until hunter felt truly comfortable while living at darius'. he'd probably worry that it's conditional, could even easily fall back into his old coven mentality/habits, would try to make darius proud no matter what, etc. etc. it wouldn't be the healthiest for him. although eventually he would get comfortable, and that concept also had sm potential, but like the journey to that wouldn't be quick, and it'd have to be an arc on its own too. and, again, there is no time for that. rly cheering for a reunion and a talk, maybe even a mentorship of sorts, but considering hunter already has a place he feels fully comfortable in and ppl who consider him family right now, i feel like him ending in a completely new place after all that wouldn't be his #1 preferred option.

same with eda/the clawthornes tbh; it had sooo much potential and he is technically related to them AND is going to find that out soon, so some kinda interaction/development HAS to happen, and he did say he wants to learn how to carve palismen, so a mentorship may also happen... but as for actual adoption mm i don't think anything can come close to how safe and happy and Good he's felt for those months while under camila's care. again, in the future things COULD develop in such way, but considering we have two episodes until we get a conclusion... mmyeah

so................ yeah.

i just have so so so many thoughts abt hunter finding a family and getting to be a teenager and feeling loved and feeling like he has his own place in the world and being safe and allowed to explore his interests and to be himself........ hunter nocedaaaaa oughhghhh 🤲❤️

#not to mention zeno (hunter's va) choosing 'hunter noceda' as his twitter display name after thanks to them premiered 😭😭 so iconic of him #nicole answers #my toh talk #hunter toh #the owl house #toh analysis #*passes away*#hunter noceda #i'm biting and jumping on walls #made this thread on twitter and ran here when i remembered i have this ask sitting in my inbox #Anonymous

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thechibilitwick · 1 month

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As an honorary Shidou apologist, I am breaking my silence. I’ve finally decided to go on a rant on why I don't think Kirisaki Shidou is an organ harvester.

(fair warning I like absolutely suck ass at organizing my thoughts, so if some of this is incoherent or if it seems like i'm repeating myself my bad 😭 I mainly wrote this for fun)

So, I'm aware that this theory is the most popular consensus when it comes to Shidou (and tbh, I think part of it is because a lot of people kinda look over him? Like at least a tiny bit more than the others, considering a lot of people also don’t realize how his main victim was probably his son and not his wife, but I digress) (plus I think all milgram characters are looked over to a certain extent). While I do think parts of it are probably accurate in some way, I don't think he was a full-on organ harvester (as in he actively stole from patients through illegal means. emphasis on actively) and that the theory in and of itself is flimsy at best. He's morally questionable, yes, but it’s more in the sense that he’s a somewhat apathetic guy who lacked understanding on how his own set of morals and values (i.e. pushing for organ donation) could be seen as wrong. So if he were an organ harvester, wouldn’t he be aware that it’s illegal? That’s what confuses me whenever people bring it up. I don't actually doubt that he may have done something illegal for his family's sake, it’s just that I still highly doubt it was something he actively did. And that seems to be what a lot of people think when they refer to the theory. (if i’m wrong please forgive me, i just assume organ harvester shidou = people think he did it as a job)

Anyways, more under the cut for those interested (it's a bit lengthy my apologies)

It then kinda trickles down to how his guilt stems more from the consequences of his actions rather than the actual action of taking organs. The root of his guilt comes from the realization that basically asking families to pull the plug and use their loved ones' organs for donation is a very, very hard decision; one that he kept pressuring for. If he was an illegal organ harvester, and was aware that his actions were in fact illegal, why the hell would he feel so guilty to the point that he’d start having suicidal ideations? That’s the key difference between his profession and his possible criminal activities; one is a burden both emotionally and morally, the other is more or less a literal burden. And based off of Shidou's character, he seems to be much more emotionally affected. That's also why I think a lot of people jump to the conclusion that his guilt stems from his actual actions rather than their effects. (does that make sense oh lord i am going ☝️🤓 so hard rn)

I get that some parts of his MV or lyrics seem to be suggesting that, but also it’s important to note that Shidou has a very strong bias against himself and definitely painted himself in a negative light. I mean, that's why he thinks every single preceding patient before the final incident is a victim to him, why he shows himself staying professional in a professional setting as apathetic (minus the pressuring part), and why he literally equates his job to STEALING. Not only that but, imo, it's also a little too unrealistic and might not actually fit the criteria of Milgram. Milgram is for crimes that are in a morally grey area. So if it really was organ harvesting, is it really in a grey area? (though I guess you could say that doing it for family's sake would be, but that's only for his family. He'd have no reason to do it otherwise). Plus, it'd make more sense and fit the theme of touching upon social issues (i.e. abortion, bullying, societal standards, mental health, etc.) if shidou’s entire dilemma was in regards to (albeit questionably done) organ donation, a complicated ethical topic in Japan.

Throw Down actually gives a pretty good rough idea of Shidou's thoughts towards his crime and his feelings in regards to it. He felt like he was blinded by his own values, and that inadvertently caused him to be unaware of the suffering he caused through his job. It really does shock me that he somehow was able to pull-off getting a forgiven verdict in T1 because he certainly comes off as cold and uncaring in regards to his work.

I think the final bridge in Throw Down kinda summarizes his entire mindset, actually.

Now slowly close your eye, put your regret on display Wishing you for someone else's sake With the same expression no matter who comes I don’t feel scared because I don’t know

Shidou doesn't quite understand the feelings of his patient's families, and therefore he acts remorseful and sympathetic more than he actually feels. Why? Well, because he didn't know. Up until that point, he never understood the weight of his actions, and focused on his role as a doctor. "This is an upsetting subject, yes, but it's for the greater good, right?” A braindead person has little to no chances of living, so why not use this as an opportunity to donate their organs? Moreover, as a doctor I believe it’s typical to be "emotionally detached” (for lack of a better word) since I’d assume becoming emotionally connected with a patient would make things at least a bit messy.

His mindset comes crumbling down though, presumably because he experienced the same or a similar situation. This part remains muddy for me, since we don't know much about what the actual cause for Shidou's guilt is. There are several possibilities, with the most plausible ones being:

he lost his own family member and had to go through with the same decision,

he tried to save a family member using donated organs, but failed, making it seem like everything he has done as a doctor was in vain

(a secret third option would be him making someone he cares about make that decision but it's very unlikely and also requires too much mental gymnastics)

But no matter what exactly he did, it all trickles down to the validity of his morals. After realizing the pain of losing a loved one, the struggle of trying to save them, and the unfortunate failure which left all efforts practically pointless, Shidou would understand the actual weight of his actions and why all those families were so reluctant to let go of their own.

This is even more evident in his T2 voice drama, Asclepius.

"In order to save the life of someone you don't know, please let me kill your family," I told them. It doesn't even take much thinking to realize how cruel that is, but… I didn't realize it until the very end.

This is the gist of Shidou's crime, or at least part of it (considering he says "Well, about halfway" when Es asks if their judgment was right). Again, this tells us that Shidou's guilt comes from the act of the effects of organ donation rather than the literal action. And this also implies that his "murders" did in fact have to do with being in a medical situation, it's just the way he went about it was at the very least morally questionable.

I will also acknowledge that he says he killed for selfish reasons, which most likely relates to trying to save his own family member. Here he could possibly have actually done something illegal such as tampering with patients or illegally taking their organs (latter is a stretch imo). Plus, his distorted T2 voice trailer line is literally "You're in the way, hurry up and die" which would only make sense in the context of waiting for a patient to die. But it could also just be him continuing to pressure for organ donation, but now with his own selfish motives.

Going back to the "halfway" comment, while I personally believe it might have to do with how Shidou views his crime as more than just taking organs, it more likely implies that something else happened that Shidou would consider murder. That being the actual death of his family member. It's implied through Throw Down that he was trying to save someone but failed, which he was responsible for. Then from there it'd make sense to assume that he would feel some form of guilt for the rest of his patients, either for the reason of failing to actually utilize donated organs even with the opportunity of being able to save them, or for just realizing the what it actually feels like to have to give up on your loved one. (does. does that make any sense.)

So yeah, I don’t think he’s an organ harvester due to what’s known regarding his crime, the reasoning for his guilt, and with the way he is as a character. The most I’d personally believe is that he decided to harvest organs for the sake of his loved one, but even that seems like a stretch to me. Thus, that is why I believe Kirisaki Shidou is not an organ harvester.

Anyways I’ve rambled on long enough, thank you for reading if you did and remember to drink water and vote shidou innocent in trial 3 because i will shit my pants if he doesn't get inno

#milgram #shidou kirisaki #kirisaki shidou #milgram analysis #everyone point and laugh at me for writing so much #i am so terrified i said something wrong like if i did then strike me dead #kirisaki shidou DESTROYED MY LIFE #i love the pathetic failure doctor #i swear on my life he'll get 3 innos no matter what #shidou i am begging you do not pull out some bs that'll make you seem less favorable than you already are #chibi's ramblings

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iridescentdove · 4 months

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can you do a continuation of full power Lumine with Fyodor, Sigma, and Ranpo. I feel like Fyodor would interested because of how complicated she is and how he would have a hard time understanding something for the for the first time I’m assuming. Same goes for Ranpo. I think he would be exiting too because the traveler is always willing to help and his type is someone that spoils him. For Sigma I feel like he would understand her in a way because he is a supernatural being that came into existence under interesting circumstances. And he would have someone to help him because we all know how the Decay Of Angels is I would also feel unsafe 24/7 😭

feel free to take your time if you have a lot of requests! (this was longer than I anticipated)

Fyodor, Sigma & Ranpo x Lumine! Reader

Hi! ♡ I'm quickly zooming through requests to make up for the time lost in my absence lol. Lumine is skeptical but shares the same curiosity her twin has for everything, she's rational and courageous, along with being generous and helpful towards others that need assistance. And most especially, rather beautiful and somewhat quiet, yet considered rather expressive.

As if a primordial being – Lumine holds power able to destroy worlds and travel through them with ease, and yet, most of it having been sealed away by the Unknown God's own bidding. What happens when she regains her full power and travels through the world of BSD?

Soukoku, Jouno & Atsushi Ver.

FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY:

You're a strange new specimen, and he actually finds interest in you. Plus – Fyodor actually likes pretty people, so seeing you for the first time is actually surprising.

Who knew someone so beautiful in this world existed 🗿

But honestly, although this man can read you like book if he wanted to, that's not happening.

You're rather complicated. Like no fr. You're pretty and small as hell, but you're so fucking strong hello? And you're not very talkative yet so expressionable it's alluring

He has no idea what to think, but all he knows is that he wants to keep you around.

The fact you're helpful draws him to you more. He learns to trust you overtime, and you have no ulterior motives when you go warm him up and make him feel comfortable.

Whenever he needs help or basically just you spoiling him and comforting from his anemia, that's cloud 9 ok idfc

He's starting to really ... really like you and I don't

You're basically everything he'd want tbh. Since you're from a different world, his ability probably don't work on you.

And just be glad it doesn't honestly. You're like God level strong and rather smart yourself, so he isn't bored and actually finds you worthy of being with him.

Well even if you weren't, you'd be an interesting playtoy on it's own. Please let me punch him already.

He'll have you run errands and do different things to go according to his plans, but he doesn't tire you out or anything because he still pretty much cares.

BRO this guy reminds me of the Fatui idk 💀

Dude is fuckin unhinged, commits warcrimes, hot and is very strong. You can't tell me he's literally the emobidiment of the harbingers in an alternate world lmfao

Even though he's a red flag you don't really care 'cause you can kill him whenever you want. Slayyy girlboss.

One of the rare times he'd take his ushanka off, and put it on your head because you're just too adorable to resist. The innocent, curious look on your face afterwards sends him.

You're a cute, complicated being he's just addicted to.

He's rather amused himself – so whenever you're like beating up Dazai or something (much to his satisfaction), he's watching in the back with his popcorn or sumn.

Probably smirking the entire time. He loves you more now

Imagine Dazai being Childe and that weekly boss you always fucking destroy every week? Peak comedy.

He probably won't even bother trying to fight against you, man knows his place so he gets humbled. But that probably won't stop him from testing you a few times.

He'll purposely get you in a tricky situation so he can observe more of you, and you'll never fail to surpass his expectations every time.

P.S. expect yourself to beat up Nikolai often. His orders lol

Rat king's actually found his match <3 fuck you

RANPO EDOGAWA:

You probably crash landed in the agency or smth. How would I know that?

I'm the writer, bitch /hjq

Now let's say both of you were just acquaintances at first, you'd help around the agency a lot though. And that also includes him.

So here we are! At this point, you're basically just spoiling him from all the help that you give.

He doesn't even mind he fucking loves it I bet

Other than Atsushi, he now drags you with him to go and buy candy, or just makes you go out and do it yourself. Either way the candy is bought so 🤷🏻

Dw babe he shares it with you <3

Must I say you're pretty once more? It's not even annoying bro I am SPEAKING FACTS stan lumine

Ranpo is very interested in you and your specie, if he ever got bored he'd probably take breaks away from doing some cases and listens to your talking.

Will get extremely invested in the world of Teyvat, learning more about it.

DON'T TELL HIM ABOUT HEIZOU

"Hehe! Number one detective you say? Even more so than I am~? After all, I am the greatest detective in the world!"

We get it babe.

Like if you ever honestly tried to put them both together in Poe's book it is very obvious who will come out first. Bro will legit rub it in your face too, not even cap

Oh, speaking of which – he'd probably invite you into one of them too. It would be a fun hangout ... maybe.

You're the bodyguard that fucks up any murderer tryna get to him while he deals with the shit and puts his glasses on then DAMN BITCH we boutta go usain bolt on this shit.

It doesn't even take that long. You guys did it in a heartbeat.

Ranpo honestly adores you, that much you can tell. He likes mostly everything about you and finds you so entertaining.

Especially your expressions which are peak comedy.

Definitely the type to do something real smart and show off his skills so he could see your reaction.

And maybe even get a bit of praise. You know this guy loves it when you compliment him and agree with things that he says. That's already fulfilling his heart.

I'd say you'd help him out a lot honestly, the ADA is basically the adventurers guild 💀

You'd be relaxing and having a chill time until Ranpo or some other member comes up and tells you to fucking beat up Mori or something

Yeah. They entrust it all to your capable hands.

But of course, Ranpo wouldn't leave you alone with that. You both make great teamwork in all cases.

Right after each remotely easy to borderline difficult case, Ranpo will be a sweetheart and take you out somewhere nice to relax. His treat.

kisses in the ferris wheel pls

It's already easy enough to tell, but you can see all the affection in his eyes as the night comes to an end once more. More than that, even.

It's such a cute sight. But honestly, who could even say no to this guy? It's literally Ranpo.

SIGMA:

So here you've already been in the world of bsd for a while and you're just doing random bullshit the agency adventurers guild gives you.

Mersault arc timeskip. Dazai off sucking and teaming up with some Nakahara toes, Nikolai being a material gworl

Fyodor is mimicking Odasaku's ashes

And obviously you're here in the back forced to do everything yourself because shit goes down 🔥

You have a pretty good knowledge on yourself in this world you're stuck in again, and it's necessary to use that info to your disposal because wow, the situation is complicated.

Especially during this arc now, but it's less difficult when you're only focusing on the DOA.

We'll say you only be familiar with the different organizations because you often go around a lot and travel.

Then meet various people and ... fight over half of them 😐

By this time, you and Sigma have been well acquainted. Due to his ability, he managed to get info about you easily. And boy does he use that to advantage.

Asked begged you to help him out in the DOA.

Look man he's suffering, don't leave babygworl all alone with all these gay men who're too broke to afford proper therapy sessions

Don't worry Sigma, we're here for you <3

By now you had no idea what was happening, just getting random info from everyone around you

Moving place to place (teleport waypoints are real handy right about now), collecting random shit and beating up enemies along the way

Classic genshin ripoff moment :/

Although you don't actually do a lot of stuff for the DOA, it's mostly personal mishaps coming from Sigma. Because no we don't want to be a wanted terrorist tf

So you soon arrived at mersault and saw poor Sigma either dead or unconscious.

Bro is in need of tevyat fried eggs

Anyways, you of course could not LEAVE him out of your sight after that. The one time you thought it was okay to stay out of business ... that happened 🤡

Sigma was indeed alive, but at the same time it wasn't okay to leave him since he was barely clinging on.

By the time he awoke, he thought he saw heaven. He frantically sits up from bed.

Oh wait, it was just you <3

You brought him back to the sky casino, as he was resting at a safe distance away from the three psychopaths in jail

You guys do end up having to go back much to his dismay, although this time it felt more safer because you were around. He's down deep and he can't return.

Sigma really likes you. Not because you're helpful and quite beautiful, but strong and empathetic in a sense both of you relate to various things.

He's seriously lucky to have you, his little shooting star ❤️

#bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs #armed detective agency #bsd #bsd headcanons #decay of angels #genshin #lumine #genshin crossover #bsd crossover #sigma x reader #bsd ranpo #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor x reader

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luffyvace · 13 days

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Undertaker wants to Court you! ~(Headcanons)~

Can’t wait for the public school arc who’s with me?!

this dude is so silly 🗿 enjoy some hcs of this ridiculous little man

Undertaker is funny. He uses that to his advantage when courting. Well, it actually depends on what type of humor you have- most of his are usually those jokes that are kinda funny but at the same time your like ‘That’s outta pocket! 🤦‍♀️😑😂’ yk?

he always wants to hear jokes. He asks you randomly and no matter what type he laughs at them. Rude humor? Hilarious! Dad jokes? That one really tickled his fancy! 😂 why did the chicken cross the road?? To get to the other side? 🤣🤣💥

now usually I feel he has a specific sense of humor but with you everything’s just kinda funny. It’s that moment when your with someone who you can laugh at the most unfunniest stuff ever and still be cackling at it anyway 😭💕

he’s always telling them as well. Might I say, at the worst times 😏 you just watched someone run over a stray animal? Oh he’s got a joke for that hear him out- LIKE BRO 😭⁉️

HES THE TYPE OF GUY WHO MAKE YOU LAUGH BEFORE EVEN TELLING YOU THE JOKE BECAUSE YOU KNOW ITS GONNA BE STUPID 👍

Let’s also talk about hiiiis…! weird side! (I’m saying ‘side’ like he’s isn’t always weird..) This is pretty much him just being a creep? Ish? Like that scene where he was in the barrel licking salt…🤨 or how he’s always in coffins (which tbh seems more normal for a grim reaper but still..) either way this dudes’ real weird and he doesn’t tone it down, even around you despite the fact that it may or may not (you decide) push you away

He’s a very mysterious dude, so how ever you met him I guarantee it was eerie and somewhat strange. Therefore you were likely intrigued by him, so when you went on your first date it was, well, very interesting! There’s so many layers to unravel with this guy! Ngl even now you’ve only semi unraveled this incomprehensible man but at the least you do learn more as you get to know him :P

his past is….complicated is an understatement- gimme a new word.

literally no one but him knows his full past all the way up to this very day. Looks like no one has stuck around long enough! Since you will I guess you’ll be the first to figure it out! ;)

now I’ll say this, he won’t sit down and just tell you everything, no. That won’t be any fun! 😄 you’ll have to have the intelligent to sit down and decode it piece by piece with the tidbits of information he gives you randomly. Yes! It’s going to be comical seeing you try and put this whole thing-a-ba-jig together! (^_−)−☆ 🤣

his nonjudgmental yet opinionated personality is scary if you don’t like folk who come off too strong. Or if your sensitive- 😄 he’s a ‘tell-it-like-it-is-and-I-don’t-give-a-ship’ type of guy. Buuuut! If your similar to him in that sense you’ll probably understand him a lot more. Him being nonjudgemental is perfect for peeps of all types so that’s a plus!! 💗

ranting about his fascination with humans during your dates comes with the package! ☝️He just does, it’s always one of his topics, and ngl it’s nothing boring either, he’s got quite a few stories to tell with even more jokes in between, which is sure to make for a lovely date <3 plus at some point all species in black butler experienced being a human, and idk about y’all but the study of human nature, psychology and how the brain works is a very interesting thing for me! I’d definitely be able to keep a conversation like that up for some time, me personally.

He puts up a front of a funny weird guy when there’s more to him if you read between the lines. Which, don’t get me wrong that certainly is a part of the real him, he just makes sure to highlight it so you don’t look at the rest 😃👌

he’s a real creepy fellow..even towards you 😭 (on purpose) and whether he’s trying to court you or not there’s no escaping it- if it starts to push you away he’ll find a way to incorporate laughter into it to make it more appealing, but no, he won’t change his ways 😭

WHY DOESN’T HE WASH HIS HAIRRRR

(yes it’s canon 😞)

you force him to wash his hair 😘💋 pls he needs it. or at least do it with him so it’s more fun. It’ll probably be easier to convince him that way

Time to talk about his work as a grim reaper!!! :3 (retired anyway) if you are reaper you get to follow each other around doing tasks! human? You both go your separate ways to work, whatever that may be. A demon? The same as a human really! Just this time you might have a contract with somebody. Buttttt!! A perk of all three is getting to work in the funeral parlor with him ;3 it’s a good disguise if your a demon/reaper and also some good quality time for you and your reaper 😘 (i mean, I hope you don’t mind morbid stuff cuz he’s a mortician after all 😅)

his little Russian roulette with the phantomhives 🕺 (LOL) no seriously I have no clue what type of relationship he has with them besides the fact that he serves them for the price of top notch laughter 🧑‍🍳💋 but you might! I’d say he’s more willing to let you in then anyone if he’s trying to court you! That obviously means he wants to trust you with his heart! So yeah! You likely know a thing or two—more about Ciel than Vincent but any info will do at this point 😭 it’s a start right? 🤷‍♀️

whenever Ciel comes over you get to witness him or Sebastian try to make undertaker laugh, it’s not like they can kick you out, you work there! Perks 😏 You can pretty much tell the one time Ciel made him laugh himself it was just a whole bunch of tomfoolery 😂 (why did it take so long⁉️😭) Sebastian is also able to make undertaker laugh really hard immediately so I wonder what he does 🤪 guess you’ll get to see! 😋

undertaker opening up to you is a process that requires patience. And don’t be pushy!! I mean this for your sake, by the way. You’ll drive yourself crazy since you’ll never get an answer that’s not riddles or straight up jokes. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

yeah overall his way of courting is really strange but when it comes to making things official he’s poetically blunt. The type of blunt where you have to process for a second like ‘wait what does that mean- oh. OH-’

Anyway I’m gonna talk about the actual dates now cuz I’ve pretty much just been mentioning the madness that comes with it this entire time :3 and yes as I said that’s a way of courting to him. He’s weird and blunt but doesn’t wanna do things the traditional way. So getting you involved in his antics is his way of saying ‘hey i like ya and I want ya to stick around’. And jokes. HAHAHAH 😂

dates with undertaker normally consists of tea, jokes, human psychology and gossip 🗿 ever since I saw ciel in wonderland I couldn’t get over the fact that undertaker was at a tea party and now I headcanons him to like tea LOLOLOL! I mean I know that’s how the plot goes in the actual slice movie and he was just playing the role of the character but, think about it—don’t it kinda fit???? Like?? Okok Hear me out hear me out- imagine sipping on some tea with Undertaker and gossiping on the latest drama from the underworld, ‘I heard a rare case is happening where blah blah blah *giggle* *giggle* chatter chatter..’ ETC! like idk how to explain it but do you see the vision???

I can also see him doing that dramatic anime thing where they sip they’re drink majestically then say something intelligent sounding (☝️🤓) (about psychology, for him) as the wind blows 😂😂 YK? LOLL even worse if your in a outside background and his eyes shows (cuz the character who never shows they’re eyes always show them when they get serious 🤣)

i love how shameless this guy is

why don’t we know this guys’ real name⁉️ Can’t even give him a nickname because ‘undertaker’ isn’t nickname material!! What am I supposed to call him???? Taker’ ⁉️😭🗿

ENJOY @doudouma HERE’S YOUR SURPRISE~ 🤗

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astrxealis · 7 months

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fun fact please know my arc with sephiroth is literally enemies to maybe-lovers 👍

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#not even btw in a selfship way but that's possible to but like. just. how i feel for him in general !!!#i have feelings for him (complicated)#I'M NOT GNA REALLY EXPLAIN but it's really funny actually bcs this is the first time i've actually felt this way for a character me thinks #in this specific way ?? bcs even for other worse characters i am ..... a complicated being in a simple way #aka i already like them from the get-go :P tbh i've always loved sephiroth too but #admittedly i started thinking he was boring somewhere down the line and not very interesting even tho i loved him still #please note i have played og ffvii and remake ffvii and watched crisis core online bcs i didn't have access to it before #and also have cc reunion. and i know but haven't watched advent children. and a bit of dirge of cerberus.#i know a fuckton abt ffvii but tbh it's not my fav game nor ff even tho it is one of my favs ever and i love it so much #so what i'm trying to say is i still have more to understand better #BUT ANYWAY complicated explanation insert here but :3 so yeah #BUT THE THING IS i think sephiroth is obviously so cool and iconic and pretty #and that's been coming back to me. and i am no longer casting sephiroth to the side oh my GOD !!!#thank ever crisis for this and also rebirth lmfao #so yeah. fun rambles #<- reluctant (?) sephiroth liker #also my friend uhh who doesn't know ff much. she recently learned of sephiroth and it's so obvious she would like him tbh LMFAO <3 #honestly i might ask my other friend who i have funny history w regarding how obvious our tastes in characters are #ion think they know my vii favs. so. mhm

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luminousbeings-crudematter · 9 months

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Should you write it? Uh, please do!😭🥴😩 as a corporate girlie I would love me some Office!Ghost tbh, maybe you’re from another agency working intel on a joint operation w 141 and he gets a kick our of teasing you bc you’re such a stark contrast with your cute lil briefcase and the business casual dresses, totally not used to working literally on site surrounded by all these military/law enforcement men you usually do work for behind the scenes in the safety of your office

PAIRING: Office! Ghost/Co-Worker! Ghost x F! Reader

WARNINGS: that particular kind of tacit sexual tension you find in corporate Britain || sexy eye contact from across the bullpen || filthy language || 18+ only

A/N: corporate girlies unite! || anon is referring to this post || i tried to do the prompt as it was but realised that I know nothing about how the military works :) but this is fiction, so we ball, I hope you like it anon! I have no idea where this fic going, please help :)))

Part 1 of 4 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4

***

It starts simple before it gets complicated, as these things tend to do.

There are exactly two things that keep you motivated in this job—the smoke breaks you take 5 times a day, and the off-chance of seeing Ghost around the base. That’s it. Two things.

And one of those was being ruined by your newest friend’s lack of enthusiasm for the other thing.

“I bet he's blond.”

Simon just takes a deep drag of his cigarette, looking at you with the distinctively irritated side eye that he gives you about 12 times a day.

“Ask me why I think he's blond.”

“No.”

But you’re undeterred. “He just has that energy, you know. I’ve only ever seen him with MacTavish, and he stands there like a tall, sexy, dumb…tree. Like, I bet he’s fucking gorgeous, but he’s also giving blond himbo.”

Simon’s eyes roll up to the sky in irritation. “I dunno what himbo means.”

“Yeah you do. You said you’ve worked with Ghost before.”

You almost want to perform a pirouette in joy at getting Simon to finally look at you. “N’ what of it?”

“Then you know what a himbo is. It’s Ghost.”

You don’t even try to contain your manic laughter when Simon just about turns and leaves.

***

What Simon doesn’t understand (the cantankerous bastard) is that you’ve made eye contact with Ghost a few times around the base. The man is more elusive than average, even in this line of work. His presence around the base is...well. Entirely consistent with his moniker. The man is a ghost.

Sometimes you wonder if it’s all really performative, but something about the way he moves in the spaces around him leads you to conclude that maybe he’s omnipresent after all. He'll catch your attention from the periphery of your vision, only to disappear when you try to actively seek him out. He melts into the background of wherever he looms, like a shadow. (Or a Ghost). There and not there, all at once.

And on the rare occasions you’ve seen him around, he keeps to himself. Not surprising, given everything you know about him (which isn't a lot), but what is interesting to you is the way he looks at you. And when he’s around, he does look at you.

You can't say you mind, considering you look at him too. Even after all these years working with big, handsome, massive men and women, day in and day out, you still can't say you've gotten used to it. And you could never be used to someone like Ghost.

But then there’s Simon. The other man you’re finding yourself increasingly attracted to.

They tell you he’s only there temporarily and as punishment. You can't even begin to imagine who could (and would even dare to) punish the big grump. You don’t actually know why he’s being punished with desk duty, and even if you wanted to, you have no way of finding out. He won’t tell you, and neither will your supervisor.

More importantly, you decide, you couldn’t care less.

Simon’s punishment means that your week has suddenly become very, very interesting. The mood around the office is different while Simon sits at your absentee colleague’s desk. People are quieter around him—uneasy and the slightest bit put off by his brutish nature. But you can’t deny that there is something about Simon, something you can’t quite seem to put your finger on. The man is just...effortlessly sexy.

You sit across the room from him, but facing him, and so every time you look up, he’s there. The height of the desks combined with the height of this mammoth man mean that you can’t see his entire face, but his eyes stick out from the top of the desk partition, and it’s enough to create…issues for you.

Five days ago, when you'd walked into the office, and noticed a stranger on Davis’ seat, you hadn't actually known it was him. He was just...some guy. A nose that looked like it had spent more time being broken than not, wicked scars running down his face and into his lips, mean-looking but with the most expressive brown eyes. And then your supervisor introduced him to your team as Simon. And that was it. Thus had begun your love affair with permanent arousal.

You must be one of Pavlov’s dogs with how you’ve been conditioned to associate the feeling of his eyes on your face with wetness between your legs. It’s mercilessly constant and you’re left feeling achy and unsatisfied every day, having to content yourself with rubbing your thighs together for some much needed relief. And through it all, Simon just watches you.

You know he’s interested. And he must know of your reciprocity, because your traitor face gives it away, and because his interest is quickly replaced by smugness.

During a brief stint of temporary insanity, you consider confronting him about it. But what would you even say? So sorry, Simon, you big, scary, grouch, but would you just please hit this and we can both call it a day and I can move on to making heart eyes at Ghost again? Hehe, no.

But you’re stubborn to a fault, so you befriend him (albeit with you doing most of the hard work in your “friendship”) and downplay your attraction, while he pretends he doesn’t spend most of the day making bedroom eyes at you. Win-win.

And if you end up carrying an extra pair of panties in your purse, then it’s not like he needs to know about it.

****

Taglist: @devcica || @kneelingshadowsalome || @tiredmetalenthusiast || @xintothewoodswegox || @miyabilicious ||

#ask #anon ask #request #simon ghost riley #ghost mw2 #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #mw2 fanfic #simon riley fanfic #simon riley imagine #ghost x female reader #corporate girlie anon ily #Coworker! Ghost #Office! Ghost #lumi writes

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