#it's so funny for the past few episodes I was thinking to myself “man I miss Amethio I miss my edgy son where is he :(” | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

magenta-embers · 7 months

Note

Hi! Nice to read you.

I've been in Tumblr for years, and this is the first time I send a message. I mostly use this app to read, and I'm usually just a ghost because I don't comment or anything else besides read, lol.

Well, the reason I felt like I needed to send you a message is because this channel of yours is new and I have read all your posts so far and I am absolutely intrigued to read more from you in the future because you already made me laugh a few times plus you have a psychology degree and although I don't have one because funny enough, I hated reading so much when I took psychology classes that I couldn't fathom getting that degree.

I do have a way with humans that is not common with the bast majority. I'm very intuitive and empathic as well, which makes my interactions with people deeper than I sometimes would like it to be. But that's a different story... I digress...

I found BTS this year because of K-Dramas. All of a sudden, I don't know how my Instagram went from KDramas to BTS. They are all over my explore feed, lol.

(Well it's not that difficult for IG to full my feed with them since once you like KDrama stuff, the whole South Korea country shows up in the algorithm lol, I just find it funny, sorry again I digress...)

The way I got to "meet" BTS was with the Run Episodes mini Reels in IG. Again, they are all over my feed. So eventually I found out they sing, and found a song I liked, searched it up, found out it was from them, got obsessed with the song, and now I have a few more that I like a lot so far.

I do not consider myself an Army, and I don't think I ever will. I do think BTS is absolutely talented and great performers and I may like more songs in the future if I go over all the albums because so far their songs find me in reels and that's how I have come to like the ones I do. But I do think the fandom is very toxic in my opinion, I'm not saying that all the people in there are, but overall from all the experience I have so far from them, that's the feeling I get as of now from most of the fandom. so I don't see myself connecting that far.

I like all the members. They each have something that I like about them, but what I have come to find out is that Jimin is out of this word. I don't know what that man has, but for God's sake, he can get people obsessed if they are not careful.

Do I consider myself a PJM? No.

However, the man can convert me at any minute to be honest, and I won't notice.

Well, my main reason to write to you is because although I've known about them in more detail the past few months, I'm really new to them. The past month, I got to know what shipping means, and like you, the first thing I saw on Instagram was the JK and TH one. I did not understand what was the romantic side of the videos I was being shown because I couldn't see anything beyond a great friendship. Then, I don't know how, but a video of JM and JK showed up. It was a compilation of them staring at each other and another one of JK walking to any direction JM was going to, and let me tell you...

I felt like I was spying on a couple that were in their private room and I just happened to be in the closet looking through a small hole because I got trapped there before they showed up and shut the door and I could get out. I FELT SO INTRUSIVE THAT IT MADE ME TURN MY HEAD SIDEWAYS MORE THAN ONCE, like I shouldn't be watching such a intimacy without consent. JESUS!!!

The feelings were deep. Let me tell you that much.

So, I, as a romantic person that loves LOVE and anything related to that, such as movies, and again K-Drama, well... I came to Tumblr to investigate this situation, hahahaha... and let's just say that in the past 2 weeks, I have consumed an insane amount of BTS shipping posts than what I would be proud to admit. It's very bad, I need a break. But I'm a binge watcher, and the content seems infinite (WOW), I'm the type of person that watches a K-dramma in one sitting because I can't do it anyway else.

Well, I have told you too much irrelevant sh*t sorry lol

My reason for the message was because I would like to read more posts of JM and JK from the perspective of people that that have follow them for a while and watch original content and express their thoughts on what they see and why they think of them as they do because of what they see.

I am interested in reading how people evaluate what they see without my personal thoughts about what I see as bias. I have been finding the posts I have read like that entertaining. But unfortunately the past weeks as well most of the things I see is people asking bogglers why they think JM and JK are still together and a constant fighting about recent things like video leaks, JK meeting too much with his friends but no with JM, this or that, and it's getting boring seeing these bloggers intelligence wasted on those questions.

My opinion is this: I won't assume they are a couple unless they say so (highly unlikely) or when definite proof gets leaked or posted by Dispatch or something like that. (Which I really hope it never happens, they don't deserve an outing like that if they are not ready) but I find it very concerning that these so called fans, and shippers just want proof that they are together so bad, that they don't care how that proof gets to them, which may hurt their so called bias. That's honestly SICK behavior! And then they wonder why people joke that BTS fandom is full of 12 years old. Again, I digress...

So, as I was saying, I won't assume they are a couple because I respect people, and I don't want to assume their sexuality or relationship. But I don't judge those who assume in a respectful way, I just personally don't want to cross that line.

In my personal opinion, they make me feel like they have feelings for each other and that they are aware of them. Have they crossed the sex line yet? Maybe.

The vibe I get is that they are aware of their feelings towards each other and might be scared to cross that line for the sake of their friendship or the group. Though, that doesn't stop them from being as physical as they show to be on screen.

They're like, "we know we have feelings for each other, we won't cross the sex line, but we will play with fire." And one thing is for sure in this life, intimacy goes beyond the sex act.

They are probably more intimate than what sex could make them be. I don't even know how to explain it in a coherent way to those who just see sex as the way of being fully intimate.

Also, I don't know why people have to assume that they are gay if they are proven to be with each other. I can never get disappointed enough of humans and their limited intelligence, like sometimes two people have a connection so strong that even if they have been only in a heterosexual relationship their whole lives, and there was this one instace where they were in a homosexual one, it automatically doesn't mean the person is part of the LGBTQ+ community, it's just means that there was a person, possibly what they would consider their "soul mate" that happen to be their same sex. But otherwise they have only been attracted to the opposite sex and will find themselves only attracted to the opposite sex if that person no longer exist in the picture, because they will never feel somethig like that again.

I've seen it, that's why I get mad when people don't see that, in this world there's so much that can be possible without putting a pre-existing LGBTQ+ label on it, that's why there's a + in it I guess. But AGAIN, I digress...

Now, even if JM and JK come out saying that they never have had anything going on, that they are with other people in a relationship or whatever else. I won't ever doubt that they had feelings for each other up to 2023. That much I am sure of, no matter the outcome of their relationship. These two had a mini encounter on a live a few days ago, and they both malfunctioned at one point lol they don't know how to control themselves.

But I just wanted to say that I hope you share more of your thoughts of what you see and saw on content where they are part of, like the youtube video you shared, (which I will watch once I have almost 3 hours to spare because once I start that, I won't stop until it's done lol) so I hope to read your opinions on those contents, your thought process as you watch those things. That would be entertaining for me as a new person viewing this shipping world, and those new like me that want to read stuff like that as entertainment or to learn more about them.

People here write as if all the readers are old in the BTS world or, more specifically, the Jikook world and not all of us are. I caught you doing some comments like that too so far, like "if you know you know," or like "you know what I am talking about," and I'm like... "But I don't know, I want to know but don't know lol" so I'm left clueless lol

Please, I hope that if you are here for a long run, remember that people like me will always exist and we may find your blog in our way to discovery and won't know sh*t lol. Also, I hope you tag more words so your posts are easier to find for people like me. Like when a post is about Jikook, you can also tag JM and JK tags since it is about them anyway. I was just following the Jimin tag, and now I will follow the Jikook one because some posts don't make it to the Jimin tag even tho the post includes him. But you may have your reasons, so it's totally fine if you don't.

Sorry for the long message. It's my first one ever, and I took it seriously, apparently lol.

I'm a millennial, I use lol a lot...

Att: The LOL Millennial

P.S. Any possible grammar/spelling mistakes are expected for my old age lol, thank you :)

God, I love a good, long message. Hi! Hope you don't mind me sharing your story and thoughts. It was a good read! I've also been a lurker until recently.

I'll try to respond in order.

"But I do think the fandom is very toxic in my opinion, I'm not saying that all the people in there are, but overall from all the experience I have so far from them, that's the feeling I get as of now from most of the fandom. so I don't see myself connecting that far."

It is absolutely okay to be a casual fan. It's healthier even. About the fandom, it's big enough to be a country, and as we know, a country holds many perspectives, personalities, religions, opinions, factions, moral/political alignments, criminals, and creeps, but also mostly just regular folk trying to make it through the day. That's how I see ARMY. It's simply too massive for everyone to get along. I think the toxicity has gotten much worse since the solo era started and the fandom is more divided than ever.

However, I believe that once BTS returns as a group, all of the garbage that's happened or been said this year will be forgotten. Solo projects have rotted the fandom's brains and yet were absolutely vital to the artistic growth of each member. It's a necessary evil, and BTS will be way, way stronger for it. We, the regular folk here, just keep our heads down and weather the storm. Amazing things are coming.

"But unfortunately the past weeks as well most of the things I see is people asking bogglers why they think JM and JK are still together and a constant fighting about recent things like video leaks, JK meeting too much with his friends but no with JM, this or that, and it's getting boring seeing these bloggers intelligence wasted on those questions."

We're getting a lot more fan interaction from the members during this hiatus than I thought we would. So it was surprising to me to see people whining about Jimin and Jungkook not posting about each other enough. Some people seem to think those two need to communicate solely via public social media otherwise they hate each other. Some people have entire narratives on how/when/why jikook broke up based on the stupidest shit you can imagine. As I said, solo era has been painful. My brain cells are dropping like flies.

"but I find it very concerning that these so called fans, and shippers just want proof that they are together so bad, that they don't care how that proof gets to them, which may hurt their so called bias."

Because to them Jungkook and Jimin are dolls to smash together while making kissy sounds. They just want to "win" their little ship war. As far as I'm concerned, there is no war because jikook is an actual possibility and the others are not. End of story. Any explicit "proof" getting out would be disastrous for them at this point in time.

"In my personal opinion, they make me feel like they have feelings for each other and that they are aware of them. Have they crossed the sex line yet? Maybe.

I think this was pretty much my opinion too until I started my deep dive and observing the timeline. The "state" of them of being aware of their feelings for each other but hesitant was late 2015/first half of 2016, in my personal timeline, it's one of the big shifts I saw. Their relationship has several developments after that too. So if they're currently in a romantic/sexual relationship, they have been for years. If they're not, then it's not likely to happen.

"in this world there's so much that can be possible without putting a pre-existing LGBTQ+ label on it"

Sexuality is a spectrum and people shouldn't have to define themselves if there is no label that quite fits. The more labels and distinctions we make, the more we box people in and become less inclusive. Jimin could be bi, Jungkook could be gay, but we don't know. We can't know. What I do know is that they really find each other really, really attractive.

"But I just wanted to say that I hope you share more of your thoughts of what you see and saw on content where they are part of, like the youtube video you shared"

Thank you for your support! That's the plan! It was painful to be so undetailed in the intro post.

"People here write as if all the readers are old in the BTS world or, more specifically, the Jikook world and not all of us are. I caught you doing some comments like that too so far, like "if you know you know," or like "you know what I am talking about," and I'm like... "But I don't know, I want to know but don't know lol" so I'm left clueless lol"

I know that's annoying, it was for me as well when I was starting my journey. But the "if you know you know" stuff I'm referring to is pics/info that leaked and we weren't supposed to see. More "evidence' I suppose. Nothing that would ruin their lives, obviously, but far far more telling than any dumbass clip/pic we've gotten for their other dating "rumors." Maybe you've already seen them. I'm not going to gatekeep these things, since they're out there anyway and you can find them, but you can reach out to me if you'd like and I can tell you in private.

"Also, I hope you tag more words so your posts are easier to find for people like me. Like when a post is about Jikook, you can also tag JM and JK tags since it is about them anyway."

The reason I didn't tag them individually is because solos, akgaes, and taekookers (jk tag) lurk in those tags and they're eye-twitchingly annoying. Especially right now.

Nonny, thank you so much for listening to my story and sharing yours. It was lovely to wake up to. I appreciate the interest a lot. I hope to hear from you in the future!

#jikook

38 notes · View notes

cynicalruins · 7 months

Text

Changérion Bible - Aizawa Kazunari interview

Translation by Windii, scans by me

(Spoiler alert for a few episodes)

Hayami Katsuhiko is a just and handsome hero cadet who failed to become the righteous hero Changéríon. He is a hot-blooded and frank guy with seriousness as his strong point, but he is quite a klutz. He is supposed to save the day, but is instead saved, and he partners up with Akira in an odd but funny two-man team before he knows it, yet he's a superhero who dreams big… In reality, however, he is an aggressive and fiery young man who moved to Tokyo when he was drunk.

"I honestly can't believe that Changéríon was such a memorable work for so many people."

-Like Hayami, who played the role in the past, he says so with a mysterious look on his face. However, contrary to his own feelings, he says he is still receiving feedback from various sources.

"The other day, I was participating in a theater workshop."

-It was a full-fledged one, inviting a teacher from England for professionals.

"There were about 10 participants, some of whom were from Bungeiza, Daisan Erotica, and former members of Yume no Yuuminsha, so it was quite exciting. On the last day, one of them told me that they had seen Changéríon. I was surprised. They seemed to have been thinking for a long time about when they were going to say it, since it was the last day. That's when I realized that someone had seen it."

-It was the same thing on stage.

"Sometimes people who have been fans since the Changéríon days come to watch me, which is kind of incredible."

-He confesses that he never intended to become an actor in the first place.

"I know I'm being cheeky, but I just didn't like the normal routine."

-It all started with a movie. He happened to see a film on holiday that was so romantic and interesting that he wanted to play such a role.

"The name of the work is too faddist, so I won't tell you. But I like romantic stories. That's why I often watch romantic movies."

-He was born and raised in Miyagi Prefecture. After graduating from high school, he took it for granted that he would work for a local company.

"That was a very nice place to work, everyone was kind, and I was blessed."

-He was assigned to a factory. He wore a uniform and did the same work day in and day out.

"…I am embarrassed to say this, but one day I saw my reflection in the glass as I was working in my uniform. I am now living with my parents, and I can see a future where I will get a wife, build a house, and have children. And I wondered if that was what I wanted."

-He went for a drink with agonizing thoughts and then went straight into action.

"I drank until morning and took the bullet train to Tokyo first thing in the morning (laughs)."

-It was truly an "impulse."

"One thing I remember very well was the news of the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait that was playing at Tokyo Station. It was still early in the morning, but people were gathering around the TVs in the storefronts, and I wondered what was going on. Oh, it's war, they said."

-That day the Gulf War broke out. Unbeknownst to others, his life also changed dramatically.

"That was when I was 20 or 21. I moved in and lived at my senior's house for a while, but my parents scolded me. They said, "It's your choice to go to Tokyo, but you should do the bare minimum as a human being," and that was a good point. I had no more money, so I went back to my parents' house to visit my workplace and sell my car to make money… It was a great place to work, and I still feel bad about it, and I am grateful to my parents for not stopping me."

-Thus, he finally arrived in Tokyo. However, even at that point, he did not have a firm goal in mind.

"Since I was tall, I had been told since high school that I should model, so I decided to try modeling in Tokyo. So I looked at magazines and looked for an agency… Then I saw a movie, and I had a goal of becoming an actor. I guess I couldn't allow myself to make an escape route, so I gave up on the modeling agency. But I didn't know how to become an actor, so I asked for introductions and auditions. When you are alone in Tokyo, you have to help yourself to survive, so in that sense it is a tough city, although you can get by with your own efforts."

-However, he decided to live here.

Scouted out in the hallway?! First serial drama!

"I went to Toei's headquarters with my office manager to say hello."

-It was on the production floor, where the desks of the producers belonging to the company were lined up.

"While the manager was greeting the executives, I was waiting in the hallway and my shoelace came undone, so I had to sit down and tie it back on."

-Then a man appeared (he seemed to be a very important guy).

"He suddenly asked me who I was, and when I told him I was an actor, he said, 'I see, now come with me.'"

-He didn't know why, but he was called in for an audition for Racing Squadron Carranger that was being prepared at the time. Unfortunately, he was too tall to fit in with the other members and was rejected. He then decided to take on Super Shining Soldier Changéríon.

"When I received the script for the first episode, I thought that if it was going to be a choice between Akira and Hayami, I should be Hayami because of my personality. I heard that the two of them were competing with each other until the very end, but they decided on me at the last minute."

-However, he confesses that he did not really feel it.

"I mean, I was readily selected to appear in a serialized drama series, and I wondered if it would be so quick and easy."

-However, after that, he ended up having to work very hard (laughs).

Changéríon was a "playground"

"At first, Hayami was supposed to be more cool and carry the shadow of not being a hero. But before I knew it, he turned out to be such a serious fool."

-It was your own fault, said scriptwriter Inoue at the time, or not (laughs).

"I guess it's my fault. I was often told by Mr. Shirakura and Mr. Inoue that Hayami was not really this kind of guy. It is true that I was a bit aware of it, and there was a part of me that got carried away. It was my first acting job, and I had the strength of not knowing, you could say, or the feeling that it would be fine if it was funny. And I went overboard."

-However, his fearless vigor has created an image of Hayami as a hot-blooded, upright, stubborn, and good-natured person. In episode 9 "The Radiant Hayami!", for example, he transforms into the long-sought Changéríon in place of Akira, but his good-naturedness causes the dark creature, who begs him to change his ways, to flee. The hero is unable to wield his sword in the face of the apologetic opponent… Akira was an unconventional hero too, but is it our imagination that Hayami has also created a stir in the image of heroes of the past? Indeed, a hero is a being who slaughters his enemies in the name of justice. The antithesis of this attitude seems to have led to the current Kamen Rider Ryuuki.

"I feel that Mr. Inoue and Mr. Shirakura have successfully created an amusement park or, well, a more primitive park or playground for us. It's like we were just playing there. For example, "We made swings. But this is a swing set, so how would you play on it?" So we all thought hard about what we would do. We were really just having fun playing. If you could see the antithesis of that, I think it was because Mr. Shirakura and Mr. Inoue were so great."

-The only regret he has is that the program, which he says he played around in with all his might, was terminated in the middle of the cour. To be precise, it was not cancelled, but rather not renewed for a fourth cour, which was a shock to him since he thought it would continue.

"I guess I wanted more of a sense of convergence from everyone, because it ended without any. But now I think that last episode was good. The idea of a loop between a carefree daily life and a serious battlefield is amazing, isn't it? But I also think that maybe that's the way life is. As for myself, I wanted to settle things as Hayami. I think Hayami has always been a guy with a very negative attitude, thinking that he was supposed to be the one to make it. Just as it would have been nice to have a hero who was not cool and had no sense of justice, which Akira symbolized, it would have been nice to have someone with darker thoughts. Likewise, I think it would have been okay for Kuroiwa (Ogawa Atsushi) to be a villain and still fall in love with Eri (Kochihira Chika). …When you think about it like that, it was certainly a work that broke a lot of stereotypes."

-Hayami, who was in the midst of a conflict, however, finally achieves his longed-for transformation in episode 32 "Enter the Second Warrior!"… but this is Changéríon, after all, and Hayami transforms by eating dried plums (is he Suppaman?).

"For a long time, there were rumors. I wondered how it would turn out, and then it happened (laughs). I like the fact that Hayami is unaware of it, it's just like him."

-We asked him about his memorable episodes.

"I was happy to see the transformation. The scene where he eats Chief Munakata's seed of darkness and gets down on his knees saying, "That was delicious!" was funny. Then there was the scene where Akira and I switched places in "The Radiant Hayami!" That was a difficult episode. We were looking at each other and laughing, thinking, "This is not how it's supposed to be!" From that time on, I learned to do small acts in the frame, and we would restlessly do things together in the background. And the dubbing was separate, so it was mostly wasted (laughs)."

-What he did not like was dubbing.

"I hated it. When I saw the first episode, I thought it was so robotic. I thought that was so bad. I had a very hard time getting into the right mood for each episode."

-It was also around this time that he received his first fan letter.

"There was a one-time event called 'Cinefan' at Toei's Ooizumi Studios, and I wasn't scheduled to perform, but I went for one day and was surprised by the huge crowd. It was the first time for me to see fans in person, and I was surprised and happy to be called Hayami by a little kid, which was a strange feeling. I didn't really feel like I was playing the hero. I was more like "Detective Story" or "Tired Detective," which Akira likes, and we had said we would do something like that. So I was unexpectedly happy."

What Aizawa, an actor, thinks

"This job is more often hard and painful than fun, and there are more times when I don't do well, but sometimes I feel very fulfilled, and I want to savor it even more. At the time of Changéríon, I didn't think about these things, I was just playing like crazy, and I probably didn't wake up until later. But I learned a lot of things to wake up. Akira really has something that only he can do. I was very jealous of him because he had something that I could never have… but I was sure that there was a role that only I could play, so I decided to find it, because no matter what I played, I would always be me. I left because I didn't want to live a normal life, but at my age, when I interact with people from different professions, I often find myself empathizing with them, and I think that being an actor is not special. I hope that this will be a source of fertilizer. For me, Changéríon is like a "park where I went to during elementary school." I remember playing in the mud in the daytime, and I remember the dusk and the night scenery—If I had to give a word to my fans… I would say thank you. That's all I have to say."

-Thank you for a good time, too. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Akira & Hayami

Akira: The snakeskin jacket I'm wearing in Kamen Rider (Asakura) right now is my own. Hayami: Oh, I've seen it before! Akira: It's in my room, you know? I'm not wearing it outside. Hayami: No, I saw it outside! You were walking around with it on. Akira: You're lying! Totally lying! Hayami: Just kidding. ♡ Akira: (laughs) You know, I was thinking that if you found out that I was playing a Rider wearing such a thing, you would say, "Akira, what the heck… I'm so upset!" (*) Hayami: You're right (laughs). Rider, huh? I'm so sad, Akira. Akira: Actually, I know you're worried. ♡

Hayami: At the time, I was just so absorbed in things, so I'm glad that people still remember me after 6 years like this. Akira: Yes. But now, when I hear people say that my acting has improved as a rider, I'm like, "What?!" But it's true, we weren't very good at acting (laughs). The director would joke that if we were better, we would be able to do the long takes on camera, and the cutaways were very detailed. Hayami: Yes, there was a time when I was quite particular about getting a long take someday. Akira: Then, in the middle of the series, Director Konaka started making long takes of your scenes. Hayami: That made the acting more exciting. Then, I would make mistakes and get yelled at. Akira: And I get depressed (laughs). And it shows on my face. I can't smile when I should be smiling, and that's not good. Hayami: But I know that he is angry with me with love. I'm going to do my best.

Hayami: We've been talking about making a movie together for a long time, but it's not easy. Akira: But I would love to make a film! Let's really make it happen. *Editor's note: Actually, there was an initial plan for Hayami to visit Akira's Rider shooting site to correct his ways (?) as a hero. But unfortunately, it did not come true.

Aizawa Kazunari: Born August 1, 1969 in Miyagi Prefecture. After working as a model, he was scouted (?) in the hallway of Toei's headquarters and auditioned, making his debut as Super Shining Soldier Changéríon's Hayami Katsuhiko. Since then, he has been active in film and stage. He appeared in the movie "Dolls" directed by Kitano Takeshi, which will be released in the fall, and in the movie "SEMI" directed by Yokoi Kenji, which will be released at the end of the year.

#changerion #changerion bible #tokusatsu #Aizawa Kazunari #my scans #long post

38 notes · View notes

muninnhuginn · 1 month

Note

Hi Mun!!! I wanted to ask if you have any other kdramas or cdramas you would want to recommend? :0 I still need to catch up with Stranger/Secret Forest, but I’m curious if there are any others I should check out too!

That I do.

Okay so I'm trying to decide how much to factor in enjoyment vs quality here because I have a few shows I really enjoyed but are, um, well, you have to let some stuff pass.

I will mention that my tastes in terms of romancey stuff tends to lean towards non-existent or subtle and so that's largely reflected in my recs. The only exception to this on the list is Flower of Evil. (I didn't intend it but this list doesn't actually have any main BLs/GLs either. A lot of people ship various combos of the main three in MLC and WCL though.)

Shows below cut in no particular order:

Flower of Evil

(modern kdrama)

I wasn't sure how to start with this one so I'll just nab the description from Wikipedia as it's actually fairly accurate here:

Baek Hee-sung is a man who hides his identity and past from his wife Cha Ji-won, a detective. On the surface, they appear to be the perfect family: A loving couple with a beautiful six-year-old daughter who adores her parents. Cha Ji-won and her colleagues begin investigating a series of unexplained murders and she is confronted with the reality that her seemingly perfect husband may be hiding something from her.

I don't want to spoil much about this, but it's very cat-and-mousey. It's evil with the cliffhangers. At one point, it briefly becomes a buddy comedy between a guy and another guy he kept in his basement. And there is one scene where people just sit in a car crying for two minutes. So, like, it has the range? I think of it as a guilty pleasure kinda show personally, but it's probably the closest to Beyond Evil of the shows on this list.

Mysterious Lotus Casebook

(historical cdrama)

Full disclosure: I have only recently finished this and it has somewhat taken over my brain so I can't claim to be in any way unbiased here. Li Lianhua is a lying liar who lies who may or may not be the fallen hero Li Xiangyi (he is). He wants to get by pretending to be a doctor and minding his own business, but unfortunately, the plot is out to get him. And so he, along with Fang Duobing, end up investigating various crimes as Li Lianhua tries to find the body of his former senior to lay him to rest before his own body gives out on him.

My favourite thing about this show is a) Li Lianhua, and b) the dynamic between the main trio. The levels of trolling and identity porn at any one time are through the roof. It's a comedy until it isn't.

Reset

(modern cdrama)

This is the incredibly rare type of show known as a decent *modern* cdrama. It's a timeloop show and is fairly short at 15 episodes. It's about two strangers who are trapped on a bus that keeps exploding and their attempts to uncover why and how it keeps happening. Being a modern cdrama, some of the police stuff can be fairly... heavy-handed, but I think the writers do what they can despite that, and it does use the different bus passengers to explore different societal issues, which is neat.

Overall, it's a bit of a mystery show, a bit of a character drama, and a teensy bit of romance which is for the most part nicely underplayed.

White Cat Legend

(historical cdrama)

This is waaaaaay more down the enjoyment end than quality but I'm having such a good time here. This is originally based off a manhua (I've only read pieces of it myself) but mainly just takes the characters and some story beats and does its own thing. I watched the donghua first and tonally that was an interesting experience in how it raced between funny cat shenanigans and reckoning with the nature of war crimes (though the donghua stuck much closer to the og source overall). But the live action so far is staying firmly silly (I'm midway through so it will shift at some point, I'm sure, just can't see the tonal whiplash being as bad as in the donghua).

Anyway! To explain what the show actually *is*, it follows a guy who has been cursed to become a cat (in the manhua/donghua this means he's like a walking furry but the live action has it more of a werecat/shapeshifter deal which is good because I could not handle that cg 24/7) and his attempts at running investigations as part of the local court. This is not helped by being the only competent guy in the entire place. Still, at least his underlings are *incredibly* entertaining in their failures. So, most of the show is investigating crimes against a backdrop of Li Bing (catto dude) trying to uncover the origins of the curse and why the old court and his father died. There's also a purple dude with whom he has History and an italian vampire. And vice president shangguan, who is one of those rare female characters you get in historical cdramas where the show is actually normal about her existence *without* just entirely brushing over the implications of her being in her position as a woman.

Move to Heaven

(modern kdrama)

This is a genuine rec where I'm not going to say you have to let quality pass or whatever because it's objectively good and doesn't have a high entry barrier. It may be good to watch an episode at a time depending on your mood though rather than trying to marathon it or anything.

This show basically follows the 'move to heaven' team, who are summoned to clear out the belongings of the deceased. Each deceased person has a story associated with them and as part of tidying the belongings away, there's an element of investigating to find out what their story was. It can be a tearjerker at times, but it can also be incredibly sweet. Also, it has a canon autistic character where it actually strikes a really good balance in terms of not infantilising him whilst still having it make sense why he wants help with certain things.

Nirvana in Fire

(historical cdrama)

This is my beloved. My favourite cdrama of all time. But I suspect it may not fit for you if Secret Forest doesn't. Still, I'll mention it and say to look up the diagrams to keep track of all the characters in the early episodes (...yeah, it's that type of show).

Anyway, this show is about a terminally ill man who takes on a secret identity or two as he plots to take revenge/bring justice (depending on who you ask) for the crimes of the past. This is part of the 'lying liar who lies' subgenre. It's much more serious and complicated overall than Mysterious Lotus Casebook despite the superficial similarities, but it does have its lighthearted moments.

Misc. shows that didn't make the list

I'll mention Signal (kdrama) and Kairos (kdrama) because they both have neat time travel mechanics, but with huge stipulations here. Signal is the objectively better one of these two and the male mc in Kairos is unbearable at times but at the same time Kairos has enough good points to keep me watching. The friend trio of female mc (they're just besties frfr) and the villain romance subplot especially. Signal had potential to be amazing, but for me, some of the time travel mechanics fell through and it was almost BBC Sherlockian at times with some of the 'profiling' deductions.

Signal's premise is that there's a walkie talkie that links the past and the present between a current day consultant profiler (with a distrust of the police despite now working for them) and a past police officer who is dead in the present day. It follows various cases between the past and the present that are interlocking with each other, with the overarching mysteries being present day profiler's backstory and past cop's death. I feel like this started out decently, went hit-and-miss, had a few episodes where it was absolutely amazing, and then lost steam somewhat, though the ending hit the main points.

Kairos' premise centres around a mobile phone. When a phone is disconnected, the number ends up being assigned to someone else. So, the two main characters, living a month apart in time, have the same number and thus can communicate with each other. The male mc in the future has recently found out that his wife and daughter have both died and the female mc's mother has gone missing. So they've both got a scenario they need the other person to help them with and as they change things, more new problems keep cropping up. It's a show where the premise is super interesting, but I personally found it a very frustrating watch, not least because of characters making decisions that were in-character, but incredibly stupid and *not* in the entertaining way.

Also, as I didn't include any BLs/GLs, I'll mention that I cannot in good conscience recommend Guardian (cdrama), but it's such fun trash and it has Shen Wei. It's a bit like shows like Torchwood and Buffy in that it's ostensibly modern era but there's magic (sorry, 'aliens') and a team that's meant to be keeping on top of it all led by Zhao Yunlan. He meets Shen Wei and then proceeds to *keep meeting him* at various crime scenes because Shen Wei sucks at this whole low-key deal.

On a similar note, Couple of Mirrors (cdrama) is a republican era GL. The two leads are well-written, but it's basically like two different shows mushed together (a soap and an assassin/cat-and-mouse chase). It has Yan Wei though! It's about a popular writer meeting a photographer (who is also an assassin) and them both discovering that the writer's husband really and truly sucks.

#sorry for taking so long!#asks #roseofcards90 #in b4 I entirely forgot a really obvious show here #if there are any specific shows you want to know about just say. I tried to keep things relatively spoiler-free so may have erred too vague #cdrama recs #kdrama recs

11 notes · View notes

damn-stark · 10 months

Text

Chapter 6 Love is a burning thing

Chapter 6 of Stargirl

A/N- Hope you guys like it!!

Warning- angst, fluff! SLOWBURN, long chapter.

Pairing- Steve Harrington x fem!reader, male!oc x fem!reader

Episode- between 2x09 & 3x01

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

Why is it happening? For the past month since the nightmare with the Demo-dogs happened, since you died for a few minutes, nightmares have been haunting you. Demo-dogs lurk in the dark corridors of your mind.

The doctor said nightmares are normal after getting shot. But this?

They haunt you while you’re awake too, they lurk in the shadows, now since that day, those beasts are all you can think of after fighting the nightmares and bad memories away. And it seems to be like you alone deal with this.

Nancy and Steve say to just forget, the memories fade soon enough, but are they plagued by visions of them too while they’re awake?

So much for a jolly holiday in an actual home….this sucks.

“Y/N?”

You look away from the colorful Christmas lights that make the green tree glimmer, and see Zion walking inside the parlor room.

“Zion,” you greet happily and fan away the smoke before turning the cigarette off and sliding off the couch. “You made it!”

Said man glances at the smelly smoke slowly crawling to the ceiling and then looks at you. “Yeah,” he nods. “Dad wouldn’t miss it. You look nice.”

Receive a compliment? Flirty smile, and act like you already know you’re what they tell you, but don’t make it obvious.

You swallow thickly and plaster on your best flirty smile like Steve advised, and try to be as smug as you can. But not enough to make you seem egotistical. “Oh…thanks.” You smirk. “I like your Santa hat. Cute.”

That sucked.

“I brought you a present,” he says, but there’s nothing in his hands.

“Really?” You probe and look around him. “Where is it?”

Zion slowly begins to smirk. “Outside. Left it in the car….”

Oh. Outside where the Demo-dogs lurk in the shadows?

“…I just thought perhaps it wouldn't be fair considering the only present we were supposed to bring was our gift exchange.”

Now he’s trying to flirt with you.

Try to get them alone for the best form of success. And Zion is doing it before you could, well the second parlor you’re in was empty, but you can hear the commotion of the party, and people wander close, so it’s not really alone.

“Well then,” you play along. “Let’s go. I love presents.”

Zion shoots you a smile, and you lead him out of the house. When you’re outside, away from all the noise you break your silence.

“I still can’t believe your dad is one of the police men of this town,” you muse. “Why didn’t you tell me when we met?”

Zion scoffs. “Some people think it’s weird. They would make fun of me in school. Didn't want to scare you away.”

You snort. “Funny.”

Zion sighs softly and then interjects. “Why weren’t you with the rest of the party?”

“Simple,” you answer somewhat truthfully. “I didn't want to hang out with a bunch of old farts.” You giggle. “I didn’t want to isolate myself either so I just kind of secluded myself.”

“In your fifth living room?” Zion teases.

You roll your eyes and shake your head. “Second,” you correct him. “It’s a parlor room by the way. Slash sunroom.”

Zion looks at you with a smile before he begins to chuckle. “Wow. That’s how you know you’ve made it.”

You shrug. “I won’t deny it.”

Zion flashes you a half grin whilst he reaches the car he came in with his dad. It’s in the short silence that you’re reminded of the terror.

Since you’re far from the front porch, the light doesn’t shine bright this far out on the driveway. You’re surrounded by darkness…Okay…

You shift closer to Zion as he gets the present out, and avoid looking around you even if it feels like you feel their presence all around you. When Zion turns around he backs up in surprise to how close you are. “Whoa, hey.”

You push back your fear, and blink to meet his dark eyes. “Hi,” you redirect sweetly.

Zion doesn’t question you and pushes a big box towards you. You beam at him and take the present.

“Open it,” he encourages your desire.

You don’t need to be told twice, you approach the hood of the car to open the present. The moment you manage to get inside the box you pull out a red helmet. A helmet.

“Wow,” you feign excitement as you’re actually very confused. “A helmet.”

Zion nods eagerly. “For when you ride on my motorcycle with me. I didn’t have a second one last time, so I bought you one…and this,” he leans over and reaches for a silver chain bracelet dangling from the chin strap, you didn’t notice before.

“Oh,” you react with more excitement. “Cool.” You lift the helmet to study the bracelet better and notice that theirs a single charm with your first initial on it. “That’s really nice Zion, thank you. I love the present.” You put the helmet back in the box and embrace him.

Zion seems surprised at first, but he gently returns it.

It’s sort of awkward though, you didn’t get him anything. You’ve been stuck at home, busy recovering and trying to ignore your nightmares that you completely forgot to buy him a gift. The only people you did get presents for were your dad of course, your mom because she's living with you, Eleven as one of your many apologies, Nancy and Steve. You totally spaced on Zion though. Damn.

You don’t even address it, you leave it as it is. And thankfully as you pull away from the embrace, headlights shine from the driveway. You walk over to the front porch with Zion and your gift, and your eyes glued on the approaching car. And when the person finally comes to view, you spot Steve.

“It’s Steve!” You point out happily.

When said man parks, and before he can turn his car off, you run over to him with a happy smile.

“Steve.” You wave at him even if you had just seen him.

Your friend gets out of the car with a long rectangle present box, but no name on the card. “Hey, don’t try and cheat,” he complains.

You stick your tongue out and step back and continue to smile. “You came back!”

Steve glances past you and finds Zion, they shoot each other a stiff wave before Steve nods at you. “Yeah, well you basically made me.”

You scoff and proceed to walk back inside. “Yeah well you commited, so unless you wanted to look bad in front of my parents, you had no choice.”

Steve huffs as he follows you at your side. “Both your parents like me so I’m good. But well there was nothing better to do.”

You drift your eyes over to him and can’t help but smile at him since you know he’s just being smug. “Sure, whatever you say.”

“What you got there,” Steve points to your present.

You lift the box and grin brightly. “Gift from Zion.” You glance at said guy following at your other side, but drift your attention back to Steve, and find yourself meeting his gaze.

His smile falters, and he sighs before he smirks. “Cute.” He mutters.

You hum in agreement, but find his reaction strange. Why is he so weird when it comes to Zion? It’s so sudden too…

Hm. Weird.

——

*LATER*

“What, what, what?” Steve says in a hushed tone as you pull him outside all by yourselves.

“I need help. I-I don’t know what to do in there,” you point inside.

Steve squints his eyes and knits his eyebrows together in confusion. “I don’t get it? What’s wrong?”

You groan and point to the front door. “Me with Zion. I can feel how much I suck. I need help. You said you would, so I'm asking for your help.”

“Oh,” Steve gasps softly and licks his lips while he rests his hands on his hips. “Okay…uh.”

You grab both of his hands and plead in a sweeter tone. “Please, Steve. I need help, okay? Just help me. Give me tips.”

Steve drops his head and lets out a deep breath before he rolls his head to the side. “Fine,” he mutters. “Yeah. I mean I’ve already given you tips, but sure.”

You smile brightly and let his hands go and wait patiently.

“Okay first,” he continues almost lazily. “You’re…wearing lipstick.”

Oh?

You clasp your hands together in front of you and nod.

Steve sighs and slowly meets your gaze with those big brown eyes of his. “Bring attention to your lips. Reapply lipstick as you’re talking. Guys are driven crazy over that.”

“Okay,” you breathe out. “Next? One more tip.”

“Laugh. He says a joke, laugh. It’s an ego thing.”

You frown and shake your head. “I don’t know about that.”

Steve lifts his eyebrows and looks at you with a pointed look. “You want to be single? It’s just for this first phase. After that you can disagree. So let me hear it.”

You let go of your hands and look at him surprised. “What? You want me to laugh now?”

Steve nods.

This is ridiculous. But he is the expert, so you awkwardly share a dry chortle.

Steve crosses his arms over his chest and furrows his brows. “No,” he stifles a laugh. “What was that? You’ve laughed better come on. Giggle.”

You groan but after an exhale you share a sweet giggle.

Steve smiles but it’s brief because he then nods. “Better.”

You laugh again, a haha laugh, and he begins to chuckle.

“Oh, you said something funny.” You snort and begin to laugh for real.

Steve laughs harder, and you can’t help but do the same. The front door then opens and your dad stops under the door frame confused. “What are you two doing?”

Both Steve and you stop laughing and you just shake your head at your dad before you probe. “What’s up?”

Your dad hums and then points inside. “Gift exchange time. Come on.”

You clap gleefully and skip over to grab your dads arm and walk back inside with him and Steve trailing behind you. When you step inside the parlor room where the tree and gifts are Zion is the first person you see; you smile at him, and he offers you a softer smile. When he looks at who’s trailing behind you he sits up straighter and averts his gaze quickly.

“Okay! Now that my daughter is here let’s start this thing,” your dad addresses the party.

You grab your present from under the tree and sit down next to your mom since that’s the only seat available.

“Okay the person starting this thing is Mayra,” your shares and steps back.

Your mother grins happily and claps softly before she pushes herself off her seat and stands in the middle of the gathered circle. She looks around at all the faces gathered around with her present in hand. “I got,” she teases the group. “Now let’s see…Steve Harrington!”

Everyone looks disappointed that the rich actress didn’t get them, but Steve looks shocked and then a bit smug. When he takes the gift from your mom he gives her half a hug before he begins to tear the nice shiny gift wrapping.

When he takes out what was inside the bag, he finds a coat. Since there was a budget it isn’t luxurious, but it still is a nice brown cargo jacket with flannel lining.

“Now it’s your turn Steve,” your dad interjects. “That’s how it will go, the person that got a present gives theirs next. And so on. Got it?” He claps. “Yes. Good.”

Your mom sits down and passes you a small giddy smile before you focus on Steve in the middle of the group with his present. He of course grins as he sticks his gift out.

“Well I got someone very cool,” he says and spins around and faces you. “I got you, y/n.”

Your eyes widen, and a grin spreads on your lips. Without leaving him waiting you squeal and go up. You give Steve a quick hug and then excitedly open your long rectangle gift.

And once you tear off the gift wrapper there’s a black box. “A velvet box,” you share and show the guests to get them excited.

Is it a necklace?

It’s too heavy for one though.

You giggle and share a brief excited look with Steve before you open the box, revealing two pink wooden drumsticks. He remembered your goal. “What?” You gasp in awe.

You pick up one of them to show it off, but you freeze as you see the words, “Rio.” carved on them. “Oh my gosh!” You exclaim. It’s your inside thing. “I love them!” You throw your arms around Steve. “Thank you!”

He’s caught off guard but he hugs you back gently. “I thought it could be your first pair since you want to learn or what not,” he says as you pull away.

You don’t have drums yet—well not officially, you saw a huge gift box in the garage with your name on it, so your dad got them for you. You just haven’t opened it.

“Let me see,” your dad says.

You walk over to him and show him the drumsticks. “Look. Aren't they cute! My first step to learning how to drum!”

Your dad blinks repeatedly and points to the name. “What’s that mean?”

You smirk and blow him off. “Don’t worry about it, it’s an inside thing.”

Your dad hums and doesn’t investigate, so you all move on. You got one of your dads friends, so it doesn’t really matter whatever everyone else gets after. Zion unluckily is one of the last people to go, and he ends up gifting to his dad, which is quite a coincidence. And his dad then ends up getting your own dad, the exchange ends after that and the party rages on.

Now to do what Steve advised. Yes!

Oh maybe you’ll take Zion under a mistletoe for a first kiss!

He’s by the fireplace, by himself. Now is your time.

You walk towards him, but stop as you get nervous. You talk to him all the time, he’s come to visit you in your recovery, you talk on the phone, but this is different. You’re flirting, actually trying. Fuck. Okay.

Exhale. Go….

No.

You turn away and see your dad talking to your uncle, they’re saying goodbye it seems. You should—no, no! Exhale, go.

You slowly turn back around on your heels and slowly approach Zion. When he sees you approaching he stands up straighter and his lips perk up to a smile.

“Waiting for someone?” You tease hlm.

Zion scoffs. “Black boots, white beard, jolly demeanor,” he says.

You hum and slowly clasp your hands in front of you. “Ah, well it seems you’re gonna be waiting for a few more days.”

Zion shifts around to face you completely. “So you want to learn to play the drums?” He query’s.

You nod. “Yep. It’s my goal I need to accomplish. I want to join a band. Maybe I’ll become famous.”

Zion chuckles softly. “A band?”

“Yes?” You answer hesitantly. “Why is it strange?”

Zion shrugs. “You don’t look like the type.”

Is that offensive? It kind of makes you uneasy.

“Well,” you chuckle nervously. “Then you should get to know me better.” You sigh and think about bringing the lipstick out, bringing attention to the lips, but you hesitate.

Zion continues to talk, but his words get drowned by your thoughts.

Do you really, truly like him? You did when you first met him, you were ecstatic to get to know him, to go out with him, but now?

It’s been a month, neither of you have tried anything because you’ve been injured. You've been unable to see him because you’re stuck at home while he is at school or at work. And…whether you like to admit it or not, since the events of the Demo-dogs, you’ve been different. And there's been people who have snuck up on you, dug themselves deeper in your heart. And now that they’re single, there might be a chance.

Yeah that’s right, there might be a chance…

You look over at him by the snack table and he’s busy talking to your dad. He’s smiling. He has a nice smile.

And while you’re staring at him, Steve glances over at you and catches your stare, so you quickly look away and instead look out the back door.

However, that’s a mistake because you see them again in the shadows. A demo-dog. It’s there, staring at you. No, no—

You blink repeatedly and return your gaze back to Zion. He’s smirking at you, still talking, so you nod softly in comprehension. He brings you a form of peace right there and then.

That’s it. The same thing happened when you were outside getting the gift he gave you. You didn’t see the illusion of the demo-dog. He can bring you peace, fill the void?

You look into his eyes and get lost in them. He has nice dark eyes. He’s sweet.

Thus you pull out your lipstick and while he continues to talk you reapply some. And just as Steve said, Zion sneaks glances at your lips, he finds himself stammering.

It works!

“Maybe we can have that date now?” Zion asks as he drops whatever it was he was rambling about. “You’re better. You can go out. I can use my moms car so the wind doesn’t hit your chest.”

You snort.

“Maybe on Monday? We’re on winter break, I have no work that day, I can pick you up at…”

“3,” you add for him without debating this time. “3 is fine.”

Zion smirks and nods along slowly. “I’ll pick you up at 3.”

You smile at him and glance to the side, Steve and your dad aren’t there anymore, the party is busy talking amongst themselves. There’s no mistletoe though….

“Come with me,” you say sweetly before you take his hand and take him to the parlor room, near a large window that overlooks the lake behind your house, and under the mistletoe that your mom placed for fun she said. “Mistletoe,” you point up.

Zion lifts his eyes, and then snickers as he looks back at you. “Smart,” he compliments you.

You shrug smugly, and before anyone could come you lean in give him a small kiss on the lips. It’s your first kiss.

When you pull back Zion's smile is sheepish, but his eyes are soft. Albeit he then surprises you by cupping your cheek and leaning in to give you a deeper kiss you return slowly.

“Perfect,” he whispers softly as he pulls back.

Your face is burning and you giggle.

Wow. Your heart is pounding. Like very, very fast. You want more, but you must resist.

You can’t wait to tell Nancy.

——

*LATER*

The party has ended, everyone has left the house a mess that you’ll have to clean up, well everyone left except for Steve. He’s still lacking behind.

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” Steve asks as he comes to a stop inside the parlor room near the large window that overlooks the lake.

You nod. “Yeah. My dad can clean. He’s a semi-retired man now, so he’s got nothing but time. Besides, I think my chest hurts.”

Steve scoffs in amusement. “You should keep slacking off.”

You feign a laugh.

Steve smirks albeit he does respond. “There. That’s the laugh. That one is perfect.”

You giggle this time for real. “No that’s…that’s bad.”

Steve smiles faintly.

“Thanks,” you tell him and begin to fiddle with your fingers. “For the drumsticks. They were nice. When I get good, I’ll have to give you a show.”

Steve gently nudges you with his elbow. “You better. I'll be your first judge.”

You smile but you then sigh as something comes to mind. “Do you think I look like the type to be drumming?”

Steve’s gaze just squints slightly in confusion. “What do you mean?” He asks.

You shrug and sway to the side nervously. “I don’t know. Like me, is it weird that I want to drum? I mean…me.” You meet Steve’s gaze with a nervous look that he holds for a moment with a bit of pity.

“I think you can be what you want. I mean I don't think people can judge what you want to do based off your appearance. There’s no specific look that you need to have to do something.”

You let out a relieved sigh and nod softly. “So I shouldn't paint my nails black and dress punk?” You ask lightheartedly. “I mean It’s a cool fucking look. I'm jealous of the girls who can pull it off.”

Steve shakes his head. “No. I like your—this look,” he says and waves his hand over you.

“Good.” You grin and stay quiet for a moment just looking at him before you remember. “I finally scored that date…because of your tips, so thanks.”

Steve blinks repeatedly and hums. “Hm? Really?” He asks and crosses his arms over his chest.

You nod eagerly. “Yeah. I did it. So I will need more of your help. I mean if I want to, you know, have a successful date.”

Steve lets out a deep sigh, and swallows thickly before nodding quickly. “Yeah, sure. Cool. Cool.”

“Great!” You exclaim happily. “Oh! By the way,” you add on now that you’re excited. “I know I’ll see you beforehand but I’ll tell you regardless. You're invited to the New Year’s party my dad is hosting. This time more people will be invited, so it won’t be that boring, I can invite people too so it’ll be fun. Come!”

Steve shrugs. “I'll have to let you know.”

“Steve,” you insist and grab his arm. “Come on please.”

Steve meets your gaze and thinks for a moment before he sighs deeply. “I’ll try. How about that.”

You roll your eyes but nod hesitantly. “Fine, let me know.” You let him go and step back, Steve shifts back too and you both grow quiet.

He probably should’ve found his way to leave now, but he stayed a little longer, and you stayed there with him. And it’s at that moment, as silence lingered that Steve’s gaze wanders up and finds the mistletoe.

He keeps his eyes up there for a second too long, so you follow his line of gaze and see the same mistletoe, one you completely forgot about. Now you’re both standing under it. He knows that. He looks at you, and you slowly lower your gaze and meet his.

It’s not obligatory to kiss under a mistletoe, but you…want to. Because that’s how you wanted it, you wanted to find yourself under a mistletoe with Zion by accident, but you had to bring him here. Not Steve…

But no you can’t kiss Steve, you want to go out with Zion. You told Zion you’d date him, you can’t just kiss Steve.

Even if Steve makes your heart race, and causes your face to get all warm. No you can’t kiss him.

So you slowly avert your gaze and find yourself looking out the window. That’s when you spot what’s starting to fall from the sky.

“Oh my god,” you whisper excitedly. “It’s snowing!” You take Steve’s arm, and pull him with you as you run outside.

“What the hell did I say about running!” You hear your dad exclaim. You ignore him and when you’re outside you step past the porch, and stand under the soft flakes of snow that fall from the sky.

They're so gentle but cold. They’re fluffy and light. They’re quiet, peaceful and beautiful.

Yes they’re beautiful little snowflakes.

You tuck your hands in your pockets and smile sweetly. No Demo-dogs haunt you, no fears scare you. It’s peaceful even if darkness lurks beyond the lake.

Steve is near you so he watches you watching the snowfall, and exhales softly as he feels his eyes soften at the sight of you admiring something so mundane.

However, he still does sass you. Just to poke fun at you. “This is what you’re happy about?”

You turn away from him and keep looking up at the dark white sky, and close your eyes and clasp your hands together. “Quickly make a wish.”

“What?”

Besides wishing this paralyzing fear to go away, you wish to quickly get good at drumming and have your future band be successful.

“Hey, can you explain what you’re doing?” Steve steals your attention back.

When you finish you slowly open your eyes, and turn to face him. “When I was a little girl, my dad said that when I saw it snow for the first time, I thought it was stars falling to the ground, so I made a wish. He thought it was cute, so, after he made it a thing. Now everytime we see it snow for the first time we make a wish. That’s what I’m doing. Did you wish?”

Steve scoffs. “No. Its just snow. I didn’t know that was a thing.”

“Now you do,” you quip. “Make a wish. Do it.”

Steve shakes his head. “No. It’s not a me thing.”

“Steve,” you press. “Do it. One wish.”

“Tell me what you wished for first,” he argues back quickly.

You shake your head. “No. Just go.”

Steve groans. “Fine. Fine! I wish…ugh, to graduate.”

You laugh softly and clap. “See! Now your dream will come true.”

“Yeah,” Steve mutters. “I hope so.”

You walk to him and take his arm. “You will. I swear. I’ll help. And you help me.”

Steve exhales, but you don’t catch his annoyance that has taken root since he saw Zion at the hospital waiting for you. He knows he shouldn’t be jealous, you’re choosing to stick with Zion, and you’re his friend so he needs to be happy for you. But how can he put up with helping you be with another man?

He needs to tell you something. Something that might change your mind, or that will make you not seek his help anymore. Unless you see his annoyance towards Zion yourself soon.

Will you through? Will you notice Steve’s jealousy?

Tagged- @middle-of-the-earth @x-theolivia @redskull199987 @lilyhw1 @5sosjay

#fanfiction #damn-stark #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #Stargirl #chapter 6 #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington series #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington #oc character #Jim hopper #stranger things season 2

37 notes · View notes

utilitycaster · 6 months

Note

I keep thinking abt your "'must a story have conflict?' Yes actually hope this helps" posts in the context of laudna and imogen because like. Their shippers keep saying like. "You just don't UNDERSTAND the beauty of their Perfect Relationship, the bond that Traumatized People have that makes them In Tune, so sad how you will never understand love or being with another etcetera etcetera" and it's like. what the hell are you talkinf about (they're usually the kind of ppl with weird and bad narrative ideas re: their traumas so uwu sad everyone is against them). Don't we want this relationship to be healthy and beneficial to both of them? Don't get me wrong, I love Toxic Girl Yuri fucked up tragic relationships as much as anyone else but shippers pretty clearly aren't angling for that kind of story, and neither would the trajectory of the campaign support it. The onscreen dynamic isn't even spicy enough to HAVE toxic codependency it's just. There.

what's funny is that actually my favorite era of their relationship was the "we transcend labels, you and I" thing Laudna said to Imogen. Partly bc personal aro feelings but also because THAT felt like genuine no expectations support to fall back on. The idea that they could just Be and always be It wasn't ASKING for the kind of dynamicism of a romantic relationship such and such, but now with the girlfriends thing, it feels like now there should be WAY more than what's been happening. Does any of this make sense?

Hey anon,

So I largely agree (will cover the one point of not entire agreement below). I do want to note that if you're the person who's sent me other questions recently on this topic please feel free to DM me! I think it's valid to want to voice those frustrations, and I get not wanting to do so publicly (though I think the harassment on Tumblr at least has largely died down) but also to be completely honest I have been fully in a Nein and Candela headspace with a handful of exceptions mostly relating to wiki stuff so I've been answering these anons but I'll admit it's not where my thoughts have been re: CR stuff for the past few weeks.

Anyway, I can understand the desire for a QPR or simply close friends for Imogen and Laudna! I am not aro myself, and I do enjoy a good romantic plot, but I'd rather have a well-executed story with no romance than a good story slightly marred by poorly done romance. However, it's actually really interesting to me (in a good/neutral way) that you recall it as "we transcend labels" because the actual quote (3x49, 4:52:57) is "We transcend words, you and I" and I could not stand that because my frustration has again always been that they spend a lot of time talking, and absolutely none of it communicating; they have never transcended words, they have simply not fucking used them well. More generously, I think a relationship in which a couple is on such a wavelength that they do have a sense of how the other feels without needing to talk (or read minds, in this situation) can be aspirational in real life, though again, I don't think that's actually what's going on here; but even if it were, that is not remotely interesting to watch. I truly do not give a shit in the end if relationships on the shows I watch are healthy or unhealthy provided the narrative knows what it's fucking doing and I think people who are obsessed with unproblematic wholesomeness are frankly suspect, but man, either be toxic codependent yuri or be two people trying to understand each other, instead of two people who seem to only occasionally remember that they are important to each other, and never seem to remember why.

But yes, the fact that virtually nothing has changed despite a relationship upgrade, especially in light of the relationship losing my interest as a platonic thing 30 or 40 episodes prior to them becoming a romantic couple is now thrown into more stark relief because you'd think something would change. Like, that's the thing. There was no romance; there was no plot. While I think the people who insisted from the start that CLEARLY they were already dating are the kind of people who would unironically ship my mop and broom solely on the basis of them leaning against each other next to my garbage can, at least if they had already been dating from the start a lack of forward momentum could be somewhat forgiven. I say somewhat, because Veth and Yeza were married from before the campaign or, for a platonic option, the twins were...twins from before the campaign, and both those relationships were still infinitely more complex and ever-changing and thoughtful over the course of their respective campaigns than whatever Imogen and Laudna were doing; it still, to be clear, would have been dishwater dull. But it would have been forgivably so; I would have simply politely lost interest episode 5 or whenever and moved on without saying much, whereas now there's a series of increasingly lowered bars in their wake.

So anyway, yeah. It sure is There.

#answered #Anonymous #cr tag #the lack of premise #i should go back and tag old asks with that...another day

32 notes · View notes

revyn-moonfox · 1 month

Text

Commenting on the the magnus archives episodes, part 3 (I think) - spoilers ahead

MAG 16 Arachnophobia: I was fully prepared for that episode to destroy me, I can't stand spiders, but now I feel like it could have been worse, at least it was only one spider at a time, my nightmares are filled with a bunch of spiders... which I guess he got at the end, but that wasn't described in great detail, so I was okay. Apropos the end: I was a bit confused because I read this episode was the most obviously paranormal one, and honestly, thinking the spiders from your youth are haunting you isn't so much paranormal, I thought episode 15 with her beeing found with candles she didn't pack was worse, but then I got to the end, and him beeing found incased in Web... uah. And come on John, you wanna try to reason that they came from one week of lying there?! Ugh

MAG 17, the Bone Turner's Tale: immediately after the first few sentences I was like: oh no, this is a Leitner one, isn't it? And sure enough it was... I don't even know what else to say to this except type out the Leitner Rant, but that is a lot of text, and this post will already be very long. At least John is a bit more inclined to believe the tale when there is Leitner involved.

MAG 18 The Man upstairs: I needed a bit more time for that episode because I have a very active imagination and got nauseous towards the end...

MAG 19 Confession | & MAG 20 Desecrated Host || : love the connection to the hilltop Road episode. Also, did somebody say religious trauma? Because these episodes screamed in answer. The beginning of 19 was... worrying to say the least - "We will get to the cannibalism of course" ehm, hold on, what? On another note, these episodes made me suspect that John's predecessor realy had a sorting system because that was at least the third episode in a row with the flesh entitie! While I honestly was just waiting for the first appearance of the Vast...

MAG 21 Freefall: finally, the Vast, I don't know what exactly sparked my obsession with it, but I like this entitie (as much as you can like a fear personified) since I first saw a art-tiktok about it weeks ago. Nothing much to say to this episode tho, except that John got sceptic again, he had such a good run of taking things seriously before.

Ending the Episode with the quote "By God Martin, what are these things?!" Was a choice...

MAG 22 Colony: Did I ever mention before that I love Martin? Well, I do, and now that he actually speaks for himself once, I feel even more justified in saying that.

Two options here "poor Martin, just wanted to show a picture to his (future) boyfriend" or "King wanted to stick it to his asshole Boss" I'm in the party of both. Both is good.

Also, after this episode the following post I found on Pinterest suddenly makes a lot more sense

I also asked myself how much the entities blurr together, because, while this was mainly corruption, there was also darkness because the lights didn't work in Martins flat, right?

I was so happy when John showed that he cared for Martin, in telling him to life in the institute for now :)

The creepy text messages at the end sparked a conversation between me and @regulus-needs-swimminglessons and I wanted to share one of his comments to that:

These text are so funny because there are basically 2 options

1 (the boring one) Jon and Martin don't text a lot so Jon doesn't actually know what Martin's texting style is like so Jane was able to impersonate him easily

2 (the better option) Jane was looking through the past texts giggling and kicking her feet while reading funny passages out loud for her worm friends so she could copy his texting style but she had to hold back to not end every message with "❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰😍😘😘😘😘😘😘❤️❤️❤️😘😘😘😘🪱🪱🪱🪱🪱😘😘🥰🥰❤️"

MAG 24 Schwarzwald: at first I was convinced that the headline was read by someone else than John, because it sounded weird to me. Then I got reminded that German words, like Schwarzwald, just get pronounced weirdly by englishspeakers, which is totally normal, so back to the story. An old letter to Jonah Magnus, did Elias read these 👀. The comment that there was no account of a Johann von Württemberg confused me, because Johann is/was a fairly common german name, especially in the higher up families. And there was in fact a Johann Friedrich von Württemberg who lived from 1582 to 1628, but that's not the one reported here, I would guess. He ruled as the 7th Duke at that time. Anyway, the Grave gave me slight Lukas-Family vibes, even tho I know that not the case, the involved entitie here is the Eye not the Lonely (even tho it kind of screams the lonely to me too, I mean, it's the Schwarzwald, and he described it as silent on lonely, but oh well)

Martin, scaring John by walking though the archive without pants. 🤣

Sir that is his living room and he can wear whatever he wants 😌 Martin can do whatever he wants, wherever he wants, just because he's awesome, and I love him.

MAG 24 Strange Music: I don't like dolls, I don't like clowns, and that's all I'm gonna say to that... But there is finally an appearance from sasha, which is awesome ^^ And again, something incredible: John is inclined to believe a Statement woob woob

MAG 25 Growing Dark: I mentioned religious trauma before, and I will mention it again, because this is exactly that. A bit frustrating to go back to "mh, we don't believe this because the author isn't even believing himself"

MAG 16 Distortion: Michael! My Dude! Be a dear and miracle me a towel, would you? Oh whops, wrong fandom, wrong quote... anyway, hello Michael, and hello Sasha. Its a bit sad to hear every archival assistant tell in their statement that they feared to come forward because John would judge them... But Sasha is hurt, and the "most level headed" so of course he believes her. Also, she's a little heroine, because she went to that place only to save John (and Martin, and the Archive, but oh well) first time that not beeing able/wanting to quit got mentioned, intrigued for the future.

MAG 27 A sturdy Lock: Everything involving the spiral always confuses me. I feel sorry for the old man, and am very interested what the statement from his Son is gonna be. But what do you meant the door had no knob or keyhole at the end?!

That's all for now, I'm currently listening to MAG 28 Skintight, but that will be in my next post I assume. So good bye, I hope you had fun with my incoherent rambling. (And again: please excuse my grammar, English is not my first language)

Okay byyyyeeee

19 notes · View notes

thebuttsmcgee · 4 months

Text

Okay! I've missed out on talking about the past few episodes but the show quite literally finished today as far as we know so it's a good as time as any I suppose to talk!

So yep. Spoilers for The Ghost and Molly Mcgee's possible series finale below!

So! To start off, Jinx vs the human world!

It was alright! Had good moments, bit of a lacking song near the end but the VILLAIN SONG? pretty damn good! Rob Cantor knows how to make a villain song and make them GOOD good. The rest wasn't bad, I liked Molly gaining her power from any kinda positivity, which is boosted by good talk of her forever friend, the Chen family scenes (well, besides that kinda. strange. scene about Mrs Chen asking ollie about kids but disregarding that) were really good!

There had been some light speculation about Geoff being the one who spooked Ruben as a kid but it was mostly in humor, so that ending up being true was neat! Definitely funny but also neat. It was also nice to see more of the Chen family coming to terms with actual ghost stuff and Ruben learning to chill with the ghost hate.

Jinx was a fun villain! Her VA did an amazing job as always! She stole the show in nearly every scene she was in and it was cool to see a ghost actually try to go up against the human world, as the title would suggest. She did go out in a pretty cheesey way but eh I don't really think it was bad, the show's based on friendship anyway.

The overall plot wasn't bad, it took Molly outta the picture for most of it but ya know I guess I do get why. At least it was in an actually reasonable way, by the villain actually being competent. It was cool to see how Ghosts are kinda invincible, but especially with the Chairman's robe, the og Chairman was a good showcase of that terrifying power but was cut short, meanwhile Scratch wasn't really all that a good showcase cause it's just Scratch, who iiiiis lazy lol.

It all felt kinda. Safe. If that makes sense. Like there wasn't really a moment where I felt in suspense. It was still enjoyable mostly, but I didn't really feel myself getting too worried about what could happen.

So yea, like a 6 or 7 outta 10 from me 👍.

Now! For the finale!!! WOO

THAT WAS AN 8 OR 9 BABEY!

I'll be honest, a good amount of S2 hasn't been as good as S1 for me. When S2 is good, it's REALLY good like 100% Molly or All in the Mind or Faint of Art. It's just that S1 was just SO good, some of S2 falls flat to me.

That said, The End felt like a season 1 episode to me cause THAT was sooooo good.

I felt actual stuff with most of the scenes, I was actually getting worried while Moll called Adia, I did wanna shed a tear when the truth hit Scratch and they used the exact same line read in Episode 1 when Moll had called Scratch to come back when he ran away MAN IT WAS ALL SO GOOD.

And the songs. MAN. The first one was good, a banger but nothing too extravagant, even if it's about being extravagant. Scratch's song tho? THAT SONG? ABSOLUTELY LOVE. That fucking hit me so hard, I legitimately wanted to cry a bit cause the lyrics, the delivery, the instrumentals, it was all so damn good! And the ending credits song being something that calls back to the usual end credits' theme, man that was so fucking good.

Here comes the heavy truth!

So the most popular theory ended up being true. Scratch is indeed, the Wraith of Todd, the background character who had small resemblances to Scratch.

Honestly I'm not too sure how to feel about it. It wasn't exactly shoved in our faces and wasn't quite hinted at, all that much unless you reaaaally paid attention to certain things. It wasn't completely outta nowhere, but also it did feel a bit, ehhh. The execution of it all was just superb tho, the voice deliveries, the animation, all of it was so well done. So I'm not entirely sure how to feel about it right now, other than the fact they executed it really well.

The whole scene with Moll and Scratch talking about what could happen when Todd is alive again, man. That hit. It hit good. That actually made me feel more nervousness than most of the previous episodes. Man what can I say. They just nailed it.

And the ultimate ending, with Todd having the personality of Scratch and his little quirks, yet supposedly not retaining his memories from when he wasn't in his human body. I say supposedly, cause tbh? His callbacks felt a bit on the nose, almost exactly like how Scratch would be when he was messing with Molly. He is a trickster at heart after all.

Can't say for sure if he doesn't or does remember cause who knows! Maybe he doesn't, maybe he does. For now tho, it seems as tho he doesn't.

And tbh, I still enjoy it.

Is it bittersweet? Yes. Extremely melancholic? YES. But it's done so well. It didn't feel underwhelming, it felt sad yet done so in the right way.

Everyone trying their best to get him to remember got me ngl lol that was. That was sad man.

Also I saw the Bill and Bob's ok adventure book I see yall tgamm crew.

Todd leaves to see the world and see Adia. Leaving Brighton, and Scratch's new family behind. Again, really bittersweet but done right. Todd is happy to live, and so is everyone else for him.

What a good ending. Bittersweet to a T.

Yes. Yes indeed a 9 for me!

Now as most of us know S3 might not happen. Who knows due to what, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't cause of fan demand, cause I'm p sure there was a lotta that for this show. And this was a fairly good way to send off the show! It had a pretty good run and it was usually up there with BCG, TOH and amphibia when discussing disney channel shows thatve come these past years, and for good reason.

I'll be honest. I'm kinda already missing it. I remember fondly of watching it for the first time and the next episodes, especially when it had aired near my nephews birthday and I had been wrapping his presents. I still enjoy listening to the few podcast talks and whatnot the crew have done for the show. It feels so. Sad. To know we'll probably never get a continuation of anything from this show. Not even a book. But all good things as they say.

If they do continue it tho, I wonder how it'd go. Probably trying to convince Todd to remember who he is and was, his time as a Wraith and as a Mcgee.

But who knows! All I can say is, thank you The Ghost and Molly Mcgee. It's been great. Really. Thank you all.

Love yall ❤️✌️

#The Ghost and Molly Mcgee #The Ghost and Molly Mcgee spoilers #TGAMM #tgamm spoilers #man. end of an era guys.#well BCG is still going thankfully but yknow. man.

11 notes · View notes

late-to-the-magnus-archives · 8 months

Text

Nikola - part of the Magnus Monsterverse AU

What was I even truly being asked to do? Was I being used like Jonah had used me before?

I had no way to know that tonight, and I was too damned tired to think about it. And I still had to go to work.

Web Martin, I decided before I slept, was giving me a gosdamned raise.

Part of the Magnus Monsterverse AU.

AO3

------

I almost forgot about my job.

I had a job! A job! One I’d stressed over! And I damn near missed it. I woke with my heart in my throat (whatever that meant for a man made of eyes) and sprang out of our bed so fast that I scared Martin half-invisible.

What followed was, according to the Eye, every bit as delightful as Tsukino Usagi running late for school in some anime called Sailor Moon, which I was vaguely aware existed as I scrambled around the room looking for business-worthy clothes, and by the time I was reaching for the door (stealing one more kiss from Martin, who was back to full-color, and so proud of me his cheeks were red), It had caught me up on all 18 volumes of manga and half the 200 episode series.

I didn’t really want any of that, but It was so damned happy about it that I felt bad telling It to stop. I finally did, though, when It projected to me the image of running down the street with a piece of toast in my mouth, which I absolutely would not do.

Fine, It whined, and fed me a silly science-fiction podcast following people in a space station orbiting a red dwarf star some seven and a half light years away from Earth instead.

This London was so different than I didn’t at first realize just where the bus was taking me.

It was just so damned quiet; no one spoke, not even in whispers; no one but me looked around, even though London was beautiful. Sort of in the way a mausoleum is, honestly: clean and stone and shadowed with ghosts of itself. I didn’t realize. I really didn’t, not until I saw we were driving past Battersea Park (Why was that the same name? How did that work?) and clocked just where we were going.

Owlwood Library sat in Chelsea, a few blocks from the Thames. It was a lovely building on the other side of Vauxhall bridge, near the embankment. A lovely Victorian structure, red brick and white stone, four stories and two towers and hell beneath the ground.

But it could not be. This was not the same place. It could not be the same.

The bus stopped.

A few people got off. I… almost didn’t.

I couldn’t let Martin down. I couldn’t… let this chance slip away. I leaped to my feet and staggered off the bus, breathing hard, snagging everyone’s attention because I was behaving like a loon, and then had to take a moment on the sidewalk, bent over, leaning on my thighs, just trying to breathe.

For an inner ear made of eyeballs, mine did a lovely job of making the world spin 'round. It was a coincidence, I told myself. My new job just happened to be in the same building as the Magnus Institute had once been. Ha ha, so funny, someone's idea of a joke. And after all, some things were the same (and never mind the utter madness of how many things had to be coincidences to make that so), so it couldn’t be related, it could not.

Could it?

The Eye wanted to show me and… couldn't. It fizzled. Sparked. Seized up? Froze like an old-school CRT monitor, blue and flickering. What? Why would…

The Eye didn’t do that. The Eye hardly reacted to what it saw, even with all this latest hyperactivity. The only time it ever just froze was in the face of—

Oh.

I stood slowly and looked at the building, looked at the building, LOOKED AT THE BUILDING, and saw the webs.

They were… everywhere. Everywhere. Blocking every window. Covering every door. Dangling, with little twirls as if in non-existence wind, brushing the heads and faces and unblinking eyes of every person who walked in and out of this place, and so many people did. So many. University students, mostly, but there were teenagers, and older academics, and the odd single parent looking for a good read. It was a busy place, and a happy place, and a stronghold of the Web, and I was two good, deep breaths away from just running down the street with a scream.

“Hey,” said Web Martin behind me.

I did scream as I spun. I’m sorry, Quiet London.

“It’s okay,” said Web Martin, holding out, of all things, a cup of tea on a little saucer. “You’re all right. No need to freak out.”

I stared at him. Through him. Oh, gods. He was full of spiders.

He sighed. “Jon. I’m not your enemy. We’ve been over this.”

“Don’t you dare fake impatience with me,” I snarled.

The act dropped. He smiled, looking like Annabelle Cane’s soul in Martin’s body. “Sorry. Force of habit; disappointment was usually the best way to get you to do anything.”

Oh, heavens. “Well, that’s not me anymore,” I said with far more force than I felt.

“Please come in. I promise this isn’t a trap. We couldn’t trap you, anyway; Jon, you could literally burn this entire web to the ground if you looked at it too hard. We are the ones in danger here, not you. All right? Come in so we can talk. It isn’t safe out here.”

“Did I even earn the job on my own?” I blurted, which was the dumbest thing in the world to say.

“Did you earn the original?” he said, deadpan.

Damn. That hurt.

His apology looked real. “Sorry, Jon. Please come in. We’re trusting you.”

And I must have been mad because the next thing I said was, “You’re paying me for my damn time.”

He laughed, and I knew, knew , I’d genuinely surprised him. “Of course! You really did get hired. Come on, now, let’s go.” He offered the tea again.

It was an Earl Grey with the most delicious scent, automatically calming, positively Pavlovian, and I inhaled for a moment, eyes closed.

The Eye was here. I was not alone. Not that It could do much to help me against the Web, but… I looked back at the building, then at Web Martin.

I looked at him. Looked. LOOKED.

He shuddered. “Wow,” he whispered. “That feels… not great?”

I’m sure it didn’t, because I saw him.

He was afraid of me, genuinely. He hadn’t lied. And filled with spiders or not, he… this was Martin.

Not my Martin, but he was Martin. He hadn’t been replaced with something else. This was genuinely him, with a different path, different choices.

My eyes pricked for a moment (yes, all of them ), and I wasn’t sure if they did in grief for the loss of the Martin I might have known, or guilt for refusing to see him as a person this long.

“Come on,” he said, relieved, because he hadn’t been sure how I’d respond (he… what? He what? ), and lead the way toward the Institute.

No, toward the Owlwood Library. Fuck.

It smelled exactly the same: books and cardboard boxes, cleaning material and that oddly earthy scent of old air conditioning installed in even older places.

The carpet was different. The marble was not. The office of Elias Bouchard was now a conference room and there was no Rosie guarding it. The door to the Archives still loomed, marked, EMPLOYEES ONLY, and I could not bring myself to see what lay beyond.

“Hi, Hannah!” Martin said quietly, waving at a researcher who waved back. “Mark coming today?”

“No, not today,” she whispered in returned, and smiled.

Martin shrugged it off and lead me deeper in.

I kept blinking. Between one blink and another, I could see more webs, or none. The place was just… full, but even I could see that some books were more wrapped than others, that to touch them would be to get web on your hand.

I wasn’t sure I could do this.

“You won’t be getting any on you,” said Martin, guessing from the way my own eyes were wide and horse-panicked.

“You got me the job,” I retorted.

"We’re well aware of what you’ll do to us if we upset you,” said Martin. “This is an attempt to invite you along, not do anything to make you upset.”

“Sure.” Wait, what had he said? “Invite me along to what?”

“Truth. And then, of course, your choices.”

“Oh, and you have no investment in those, I suppose,” I muttered.

Martin did not answer me until we entered a back office—a space that had, in my time, actually been divided into study rooms for our student population. Now, it was his space; books lined the walls, and maps, and he had lovely stylized things like globes and old portraits.

I stared and a lovely Victorian portrait of an older woman in mourning clothes, smiling knowingly at the painter. Her back was straight and her shoulders were squared; she looked like she knew exactly who was staring at her face from across time, and knew she could out-think them. “That… who is that?”

“Johanna Owlwood,” said Martin, “who founded this library in 1818 as part of a Cesarean outreach to the underprivileged who lacked the means for higher education.”

Cesarean. There was a whole bucket of nonsense I’d yet to upend. The Roman Imperial Cult was what lasted in this world, though it still ended up spreading Latin and Greek throughout, and—

“Have a seat, please. Let’s get your orientation out of the way,” said Web Martin.

“Wait a moment. Are you my boss?” I blurted.

Web Martin grinned.

“Oh, that’s simply unfair,” I said, trying to joke, and sat.

“Now, the pay rate and benefits are exactly as you saw in the paperwork you signed,” he said.

I hadn’t made it here the other day, though. “I didn’t sign any—”

Martin slid unsigned paperwork across, and I suddenly understood this was one of those conversations: time was a construct, and all that mattered was crossing and dotting appropriate letters.

“Fine,” I said, taking a moment to read it over.

“However, we’d hoped to discuss something that isn’t in your list of official duties,” said Web Martin.

“Out with it,” I said.

“You know something is wrong with this world.”

I sighed. “Nikola said so, yes.”

“The other Nikola. Would you like to question the other-other Nikola?”

“The… the one who’s imprisoned somewhere?”

“Yes.”

I sighed. “Look. I understand you have the need to make things complicated. I remember what it was like to talk to Annabelle. But I also know you can understand me when I say this: my tolerance for nonsense is, right at this moment, nearly as low as it ever has been.”

“Yes, we—”

“ No, you don’t understand,” I said. “I want straight answers. Simple. Clear. Few syllables. No trickery, no leading questions.”

Web Martin studied me for a long moment. I had the strangest impression; like gears made of web, turning in some colossal and complex machinery too intricate for me to understand. “All right,” he said. “I’ll try.”

We’d see. “I’m listening.”

“A god rules this world. It’s not a good god; it’s a cold god, and cruel. We believe it’s Eye-related.”

“Why?”

“Because it has so far seen, with complete clarity, every plan we’ve attempted, every investigation, and every try to get away from its influence.”

“That sounds aggressive,” I said, using the first word that came to mind. “The Eye doesn’t do that. It’s passive.”

“We said Eye-related for a reason.”

“And you intend for me to do… what, exactly?”

“An Eye cannot see itself,” said Web Martin.

“Uh-huh.” I crossed my arms.

“We believe you can uncover what’s really going on and help us to stop it.”

“What is it doing that’s so terrible?”

He tilted his head.

I pushed. I already knew the answer on some level, but I pushed. “London, at least, is clean and quiet. Crime rates are incredibly low. Tell me what’s so horrible about it all.”

“Guilt, Jonathan Sims,” said Web Martin, who had not blinked at all since agreeing to be honest with me. “It rules the world with guilt. Didn’t you know?”

I did.

I… I truly did. It wasn’t fear; but it was like the fear, driving things, controlling things, forcing people into boxes not meant for their size. It compressed human beings into shapes not right, sucked out joy, bled away hope.

Guilt.

And the moment—the moment —I forgave people, that god of guilt lost its grip on them.

Crew. The Distortion. Martin. Tim.

This wasn’t possible. Shouldn’t be; my word should not be enough to counteract whatever this other force had going. “The whole world?”

“Yes.”

I realized I was wringing my hands and stopped. “Only the one guilt-god? It’s not… there aren’t other cruel gods?”

“Oh, the Fears are here,” said Web Martin, “along with the quiet scents of the ones your Gerry disbelieved—love, mercy, all those things. But they’re balanced . They are as they should be; merely higher up the food chain, neither depleting nor depriving, simply existing as all things do. But this… this throws it all out of whack. We can’t feed as we ought. We are starved; and the fact is, Jon, that’s putting our patrons in… something of a bad position.”

I stared at him. “Will they die if they starve?”

“No. They’ll go mad and devour the world, is what they’ll do.”

He was right. Oh, gods. He was right. I knew it. Felt it. “But… all the other rescued avatars don’t seem to be starving.”

Web Martin’s smile wasn’t kind. “Well, that’s because—in spite of misunderstandings—our patrons do take good care of us. As long as we feed them, we who represent are cared for. Even though they are not receiving enough, we do. But that can’t last forever.”

When I’d told him to be blunt, I hadn’t expected this. “So you’re asking me to help undo something the Web can’t figure out.”

“We don’t need understanding, Jon. We need sight. That’s your department.”

“Why not ask someone else? Gerry, or…” But there were precious few people of the Eye here, weren’t there? Precious few. “Did Manuela avoid rescuing people connected to the Eye?”

“They don’t survive. Something destroys them while she brings them in.”

I stared. “What?”

“It’s quite awful. They’re torn apart, or… well. They tear themselves apart, is what it seems like to us.”

“Tear themselves apart?”

“As you very nearly did.”

I… had. Shame over what I was, what I had done. If not for Martin... “This isn’t what I expected.”

“You asked for bluntness.” Web Arthur shrugged. “Unlike Annabelle, I actually know how to do that when needed.”

“Can’t whatever this thing is see us now? Didn’t it see your machinations to provide me with gainful employment?”

Web Martin started giggling again. “Machinations.”

I sputtered. “Well, it’s accurate!”

“No, no, you’re correct, you just… manage to put such nefariousness into the word. Adorable.” He kept chuckling.

I glared denial. “Can you tell me anything else?”

“Ah, let me see.” He wiped his eyes. “Yes. There’s something of a resistance? It all has to be carefully done, since… well, being watched is unavoidable; but the thing is that this god, whatever it is, seems limited to guilt. Those who have slipped the yoke, as it were, can be recaptured, but if they manage to fight it off, they can be useful.”

“Do they know they’re part of a resistance?” I said, dry.

“Some of them,” he said with that still-surprising honesty. “Of course, they all think it has something to do with Manuela and Leitner.”

“Does it?”

“I don’t know.” Web Martin shrugged. "The Spider can’t really work with them, you see. They simply don’t react as predicted; they aren’t mappable. We have not been able to pull a single thread to get them to do anything with great effect. Are they working for this guilt-god? We don’t know. Is Sasha? We don’t… think so, though she’s certainly unintentionally complicit.”

“She believes guilt keeps us safe,” I said slowly.

“An effective lie, isn't it?” Web Martin shrugged magnificently. “Is there anything else? I have a nine o’clock I really have to take.”

I stared. “You have to tell me more than that.”

“We don’t know more than that. We have guesses, but nothing proven. Do you really want speculation?”

“I…” Blast. “Maybe?”

“Not yet, I think,” said Web Martin. “You’ll get overwhelmed. As it is, you have to put in a full day of work.”

Dear lord, was this happening?

“Oh,” he said. “I’d suggest trying to meet with Nikola tonight. She won't last much longer, now that her original is gone. Since you can portal, you can do that.”

“But I don’t know where she…” Except I did. Manuela’s mountain.

“If you come up with specific questions—”

“Which I will.”

“—then we will answer,” said Martin. “But there is the fear that giving you too much information will send you on some… damned crazy crusade.”

“Nonsense,” I said.

“We can’t really afford any broken tables, Jon,” said Web Martin almost gently. “Not this time.”

Oh, ouch. “Oh, there’s the manipulation,” I drawled. “Wondered where that went.”

He smiled like the sun rising, and absolutely conjured the feel of spider legs tickling under my skin. “Good luck.”

“Wait a minute. What am I even doing?”

“Today, it’s simple: go around the place, all four floors; find the carts with returned books on them. Return the books.”

“Don’t they need to be… logged, or something?”

“In a normal library, yes, but not this one.”

I sighed. “And for this, I’m being paid a livable wage?”

“You can actually shelve any book in the place without getting entangled. Quite frankly, you could ask for more.”

“Maybe I will ,” I said.

“Maybe you should,” he said, and smiled like the sun.

Someone knocked on the door. “Mister Blackwood? Your nine o’clock is here.”

“Thank you!" he called. "And thank you, Jon,” said Web Martin.

“Don’t thank me. I know you’re just tugging heartstrings again.”

“Maybe, but I do mean it. Good luck.”

Good luck , as it turned out, meant, Those carts are old and the wheels don’t work well and you’re going to have a time trying to steer them places.

I checked, too. The wheel brakes weren’t on. They were just… I don’t know. Maybe designed to move according to the will of the Web, or something, and my presence apparently cut that off.

I looked up books and shelved them, relying on the Eye to give me the Dewey Decimal information so I wouldn’t have to continually go back downstairs to the card catalog (which was not digitized, and I couldn’t decide if that made me happy or annoyed).

It was pleasantly mindless work. I have always loved the feel and smell of books, and as the ones I touched were mysteriously web-free, I got to enjoy them.

I got lost a couple of times reading a book before putting it away. You know. On the clock, because the Web can go to hell.

How much of what Web Martin said was true?

All of it , the Eye assured me, but that didn’t help. I knew the Eye was thinking in absolutes; not in shades of color, in the angle of a lie. This was not a true/false scenario. This had dimensions. I just wasn’t sure what they were.

The Web was the Web; the Spider couldn’t change her nature, so I knew this hadn’t been completely blunt. But… I think it was about as blunt as she could manage. The question was what to do about it. Who was this resistance? What on earth could they accomplish, given they could not go unseen? What were they resisting, anyway? Feeling bad?

Why hadn’t Gerry been invited? What the hell was I going to say to Nikola in an hour?

I felt stupid today. I’m sure it had absolutely nothing to do with being exploded at and impaled last night, not to mentioned helped by an iteration of my worst enemy. No, I’m sure all of that was totally incidental.

The Eye began feeding me internet programming about mental health and what stress does to the body. Yes, thank you. I don’t have a body. I have eyes in a sack. Thank you. I’m… I’m good now. Thanks.

It switched to “reality” programming following couples around who kept secrets from each other. Oh, what the hell? What?

We weren’t keeping secrets from each other. Fuck that noise.

(Or at least, I wasn’t.)

(I knew he wasn’t, either. Come on.)

I finished my shift and checked in with Web Martin. He handed me some paperwork to take home, an unbelievably fake smile, and a cursory good night.

It was getting dark out. I texted Martin: Want me to pick anything up?

Just you , he typed. Then a moment later, That didn’t come out right

I laughed, walking on a rapidly darkening street, phone in hand. I’ll see what I can do about that.

He sent a few emoji which were not public safe, and I walked with a grin and heated cheeks. What ridiculousness!

I had a lover, and he was… he really cared for me. That hadn’t happened before, any of it. I’d been friends with some cuddling with Georgie, but nothing like this. Even then, she’d… well. She’d liked me. She’d trusted me, which I managed to destroy completely; but she hadn’t really… enjoyed spending time with me?

I irritated her. My rants. My little obsessions. My... well. Neurodivergence, I suppose.

That thought took a lot of introspection. It seemed I didn't annoy Martin by just being me, and that in and of itself was more of a miracle than gods or monsters or any damn thing.

I needed to keep him safe. If Web Martin was right, and I had a unique chance to figure out what was going on with this world…

Oh, shit. I’d freed Martin from its grip. Was he in danger?

I stopped walking. It had grown dark enough that street lights littered the sidewalk with circles of dimness, and I really needed to get to the bus stop and go home.

Or.

Or, I could spy—which I hadn’t done yet—and see if Manuela was out of her mountain so I could go speak to Nikola.

Manuela had security in place; I remembered that. But I wondered if she’d thought to put it in the cell where Nikola was locked away.

Was I really thinking this? Making a plan to appear in close quarters with a monster who had actively tried to skin me?

I was thinking this. I focused.

The Eye showed me her cell, and it was through her own eyes. Looking down at her plastic body, at the rags she’d been permitted; at the nothing that was her day, a completely empty space apart from a single board attached to the wall like some godsdamned cowboy prison.

Nikola had fake moonlight. High on the wall apart from the door was a barred window opening to nothing—into the mountain—but it had light coming through it, aping the outside.

Why had Manuela done that? Enrichment was clearly not a thing. Why had—

The Eye… showed me: it is a mockery of hope. A mockery of the outside she’d never see again, a mockery of real life she would never feel on her skin, day and night changing place without seam, a reminder of what she would never be given as long as they deemed her unsafe.

Nikola was starving. And I was thinking of hurling myself into that cell. Was I really going to do this?

I looked for Manuela. She was at home, watching Brother Love season two, wrapped in a robe, holding a mug of hot chocolate.

Great. Now I felt bad for betraying her by doing this.

I need Manuela not to see this, I thought.

The Eye responded with one simple image: the lanky, slumping, teenage form of Callum Brodie.

There was an idea. First… I had to go home.

“Yes, I have his number,” said Martin, my Martin, who was so much better than Web Martin that I could just crawl into his clothes while he was wearing them and kip for a month.

“I need to talk to him.”

“Tonight?” Martin was baffled. The containers of Thai he’d picked up for us sat on the counter, opened and steaming.

“Yes.”

“Well.” He blinked. “All right.” He handed me his phone.

It was impossible not to catch glimpses of his texts.

Michael D. Apology already given and we

Mike C. Sure we can meet up how about the

Peter L. Anytime.

I forced myself to stop peeking and click the compose icon. (He obviously wasn’t hiding anything. He’d just literally handed me his phone, for crying out loud.)

Callum, this is Jonathan Sims. I apologize for using Martin’s phone to reach out to you, but I don’t have your number. If it’s all right, I need a favor this evening. Please let me know if you’re available. Thank you. -JS

Martin took it back, stared, and started giggling. “Really? Format grammar and everything. Jon, it’s text. ”

“It’s an introduction,”I said, just a bit defensively. “I have to make the right impression.”

“Oh, Jon. You’re ridiculous,” he said so warmly, so gently, and kissed my cheek.

“Ew?” said a cracking teenage voice to my right, and I jumped.

Callum Brodie stepped out of the shadows. Just out of the shadows, completely invisible to me, and then not, and I had a badly frightened moment that must have shown on my face, because he laughed. “Shouldn’t’ve been snogging, then, you didn’t want to get scared.”

“Take the piss out of someone else,” said Martin mildly. “Callum, this is Jon. Jon, Callum.”

“Hi,” I said, unable to see inside him, able to see him with anything but my very human eyes, and it was so very strange. I hadn’t just used my two basic eyes for so long, and hadn’t even realized it. He almost didn’t seem real. Flat, like a cardboard cutout of himself. “I have a favor to ask.”

“What do I get out of it?” he said.

“Um. What do you want?” I said.

“Way to bargain, Sims,” said Martin, the corners of his mouth curled.

“Oh, shut up. What do you want, Callum?”

He studied me. “Money.”

“Oh. I just got a job today.”

“Not that kind of money. A lot of money.”

“I’m not… robbing a bank for you , or something.”

Callum stared at me. Then he looked at Martin, eyebrows raised.

Martin shrugged, wearing a beatific smile.

Callum looked back. “I want you to find me things . Things only Eye-guys can see. Not robbing people. I’m not stupid.”

“I… don’t understand what you’re…”

“Lost treasure. Missing things. Overlooked paintings. Things like that.”

I scratched my head. “How are you going to handle provenance?”

“Not your concern, Pupil Boy.”

Martin lost it, just for a moment. “I am so calling you that.”

“Don’t you dare,” I said back, equally unserious.

“You’ll do it?” said Callum.

I checked with the Eye. “Looks like it’s possible,” I said. “All right. I suppose so, but not open-ended. Three things.”

“Sure,” said Callum, who clearly thought he’d gotten the better end of the deal (and probably had), and then said what they all say: “I killed you in my world.”

“Yes, yes,” I said.

“You tried to see through the dark, and you couldn’t. It ate you.”

“I think you mean one of the things inside it ate me,” I said, pedantic. “One of the lightless beasts, or whatnot.”

“No,” he said with a little shrug. “The Dark ate you. Really enjoyed it, too. Gave me a real boost.”

“Oh,” I said.

A deeply awkward pause… happened.

“Callum,” said Martin, chiding gently.

“Fine,” said Callum. “What do you need?”

“I need Manuela Dominguez not to notice that I am visiting her special lab in the Alps.”

“Done,” he said.

I blinked. “What do you mean, done? It can’t be done already.”

“It’s done. What, you think I don’t know where she is? You think I don’t know how to hide something stupid like a visitor from her system?” Callum said.

I stared at him. “You’re… efficient.”

“I fucking destroyed my world. Yeah. Efficient’s the word,” said Callum. “Four things. For being rude.”

Martin chortled.

I could sort of see why. Callum was abrasively winning, somehow. Bleh. “Sure. Four things.”

Callum smiled. Like a shark. “Do whatever you gotta do. I’ll keep you out of sight the whole time you’re there.”

“Thank you.” I kissed Martin quickly.

“Ew,” said Callum, who watched eagerly nonetheless.

“Be careful,” said Martin.

“I will make sure we’re safe,” I said, nuzzling him once.

Then I opened a portal and stepped through.

I made it sound so easy. Opened a portal and stepped through. As if it didn’t involve narrowing my mind, opening my gaze; somehow seeing across hundreds of miles and through a mountain of solid stone that had supposedly been protected against this very thing. As if it didn’t involve telling reality to open, to part, to fold so that I could step from my London flat into her Switzerland lab. I couldn’t explain how I did this if my life depended on it, and it frightened me, because what if I couldn’t hold on to this instinctive skill?

The fear made it stronger, of course, and faster than I was ready for, I’d arrived. And oh, gods, I couldn’t see shit.

Okay. Okay; no, I could see, but the same way I saw Callum: strange, two-dimensional. It felt like I could only move in one direction across a flat plane.

Her door skewed, a trapezoid, but I found my way to it, reached through it somehow (don’t think about it, Sims), and walked inside.

Nikola Orsinov was deeply startled to see me.

Oh… oh, she was not well. Her feet and hands had both been melted off; there was no paint left on her, anywhere. The ringmaster's uniform was shreds of red, unrecognizable on her mutilated manikin body.

In spite of all that, her shock was palpable. She sat up, joints creaking, plastic squeaking. “Archivist?” she said in a broken-music box voice.

This wasn’t right. She was being tortured. This was… inhumane. This was monstrous. I didn’t care what she had done. This was…

I had to be out of my mind. “I know you’re a copy.”

We were still for a long moment, she and I, staring—one without eyes, the other whose sight was flattened by the Dark.

“She told you,” said Nikola.

“Yes. I’m here to find out what you know about guilt.”

“Are you? That’s lovely! I don’t believe you.”

Of course she didn’t. “What have they done to you in here?” I said.

“You, the arbiter of that which exposes, which sees and reveals, wish to learn about guilt?” she said, and her laugh was terrible. It sounded like ping pong balls rattling together, as if they’d been dropped down the stairs.

“I’m hoping I can stop it,” I said.

Nikola could not stare. She had no eyes—but that which was within her could most certainly see. I found myself pinned, peered through, seen by that which must see clearly in order to erase and replace it with itself. I was… this was…

This was a god , and anyone who’d called me one was full of shit.

“I see,” said Nikola. “You think you can restore the balance? You?” She stood.

I couldn’t move. I couldn’t… even think. Felt like I was held in a hand made of knives, and it hadn’t skinned me yet, hadn’t pierced, but with the slightest twitch, it could.

She stopped in front of me, pretending to see, letting the other see. “You could, I think… but might it be more fun not to let you?” Her stump pressed into my chest and

fingers she had fingers though they were not visible

They pressed into my skin, and—“I’m torn, Archivist. I’m so very hungry, and you’re right here, and delightfully afraid. It’s like you’re a little Cornish pasty, steaming and ready!”

For one second, just one, she had me. Terror—a lifetime of it, before my bizarre millennia floating in nothing—settled into all its familiar place, refitting its fingerprints to the bruises it gripped into my soul.

The Eye showed me Martin.

A glimpse, lying beside me in our small bed, too close, smiling in the morning light; sleepy-eyed, utterly relaxed, mine.

Oh, fuck this creature. “ Don’t touch me ,” I said, and I don’t know where it came from or how it worked, but it thrust her away with the same trembling force my forgiveness.

But this was not forgiveness.

Nikola cracked back from me into the wooden board that was her bed and collapsed there, limbs askew, clacking and creaking and inhuman. She laughed.

And then from her issued a… sense. Sentence? Communication that was not in words.

Maybe you can do it

She didn’t say those words. That which looked through her at me said those words. The godsdamned Stranger itself regarded me, and Nikola stood down. “She would never tell you to ask me,” she said, stolen voice box creaky like her limbs. “I take it she is dead.”

“Yes. She’s dead.”

And this Nikola’s whole form… shuddered , making a sound like a failing bridge. “So then it's done! I am no longer needed.”

She was falling apart. “I need information!” I snapped. “What, you’re going to just… die?”

“How can I die when I’ve never been alive, Archivist? What funny things you say,” she said, and I—

could see

Exactly where she was being held together, and the threads of unreality were being pulled away, and I

held

them fast.

That which looked through her unpainted face groaned.

“Tell me what you know, Nikola Orsinov,” I commanded.

“It controls,” she moaned, “needs to control… to keep all… where it thinks they belong. It does not allow… chaos. ”

What?

Oh.

Oh… that made… sense to me.

Sense in a horrible way, sense in a way I did not want, like feeling the beauty of the Vast, or the joy of the Distortion, or the relief of the Lonely. Keeping it quiet, keeping it shamed , meant no one would do the worst things, or very few would. It meant saving people. It meant calm.

But was that actually saving anyone?

No. It wasn’t. I knew that. Saving them at the expense of their joy was not saving them at all.

It was becoming hard to hold Nikola together. “Do you want to live?” I asked her.

“I don’t live, silly Archivist,” she said.

“Answer me.” I could make her do that.

She shuddered, rattled. “I want to be released from this form. I won’t truly die, Archivist—but I can be untrapped.”

Fuck Manuela for doing this. This wasn’t right. I don’t care what Nikola did, how many lives she’d taken; we were supposed to not be the monsters here. “I release you,” I said. “And… I forgive you, too.”

She fell apart. Clattering, legs rolling under the board, arms plonking to the ground and rocking just for a moment. Her head rolled all the way to my feet, where it landed, looking up at me.

Impossibly, there was some paint there, after all. I’d swear it was a smile.

I don’t know what I did, by doing that. Maybe I made things bad. I don’t care. This hadn’t been right, and I…

I was angry .

I opened a portal and stomped back home.

Martin and Callum both did a double-take and stared.

“It’s done,” I said.

“Jon?” said Martin as if unsure.

Great. What was wrong now? “Of course, Jon. Why? Do I look like someone else? Did the fucking Stranger…”

“Jon, you’re glowing,” Martin said.

“I… think… uh,” said Callum. “You’ll pay when you can, probably.” He took two steps back and into the Dark and was gone.

I looked down at myself. I wasn’t glowing. “What?”

“Jon, you… you look radioactive.”

And suddenly it hit me. Sometime during that time in Nikola’s cell, I’d adapted to the Dark. seen in three dimensions; seen fully, comfortably, no longer restricted by whatever Callum cast over us.

Damn. I’d done it again. “Glowing?”

Martin nodded.

I tried to stop doing that. “Still?”

Martin nodded.

I waved my hands. “Fuck!” I declared.

Martin took a step. “You’re warm,” he whispered.

“Warm!” I said the word like it offended me.

He stepped closer, and very, very carefully, reached to touch my hand.

Immediate relief. I hadn’t known I was hot, hadn’t known I was burning up like an underground fire, but I was; and from him, coolness, relief, isolation spread over my skin like a healing balm, and I welcomed it.

I could have fought him fought the Lonely's kiss, but why? For a moment, I was all alone, alone in the world, in an ocean of mist and silence, and it was bliss.

Then I was in his arms, trembling, knees weak. “Oh,” I whispered.

“I’ve got you,” he said. “Doused it. Whatever it was. Don’t know how, but… but it worked.”

It worked because I’d wanted it to. Oh, gods. I clutched him, feeling weak as a kitten. “She’s dead. The fake. Died as soon as she knew the original was gone.”

“So you didn’t get a lot of answers, did you?” he said.

“No,” I sighed. “I didn’t even get to learn how the original Nikola got here.”

ALWAYS HERE , the Eye told me.

Sure. That made sense.

“Come on,” he said. “Full day of work, running around inside of mountains, blowing up enemies… I think you’ve done enough, yeah?”

I laughed. “When you put it that way.”

I let him drag me to the bathroom, washing off the grime, the sweat, the workplace . I let him take me to the living room, where I sat on the sofa like a dropped shirt, limp and barely awake, and let him feed me leftover curry.

He made a fuss over the fingertip bruises on my chest, where Nikola had pushed in, somehow. I hardly cared about them.

I cared about him. “Too good to me,” I kept mumbling.

“Oh, hush,” he mumbled back, and got me to bed.

I was exhausted. I had to do most of this again tomorrow? Somehow? Why in blazes had I gotten a job, again?

Martin was already out, eyelashes moving with his dreams, breathing softly.

What was I even truly being asked to do? Was I being used like Jonah had used me before?

I had no way to know that tonight, and I was too damned tired to think about it. And I still had to go to work.

Web Martin, I decided before I slept, was giving me a gosdamned raise.

#tma #tma fic #the magnus archives au #tma au #jonathan sims #nikola orison #martin blackwood #callum brodie #web martin #magnus monsterverse

13 notes · View notes

tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 2 months

Text

In honour of finally getting a date for the new Taskmaster season, here's a clip of John Robins' approach to pointless games.

It's from a radio show feature called Made Up Games, which they started doing a few years into their radio show. At first they did Winner Plays On, a competitive quiz feature that was my favourite thing about the first 150 episodes, but they did eventually have to retire it as they were running out of topics. They replaced it with Beta Bet, a word game that I found great fun while it lasted, but they had to retire that because Elis was so bad at it (and John was quite good at it, but mostly Elis was bad at it) that John kept winning so easily. So because every good show needs some kind of competition, they replaced that with a feature called Made Up Games, which is a direct rip off of the Bored Games feature from the Russell Howard + Jon Richardson radio show, though those features were played nine years apart and I guess no one has a patent on the concept of inventing games so it's fine.

Basically, listeners write in with the little games they've made up, John and Elis play one per episode. In this episode, the game is to put a pile of coins on a receipt, and try to pull out the receipt without moving any coins. Most of the games they feature are less visual and therefore better radio than this one, but I cut this one out because it seemed so much like the sort of thing they do on Taskmaster (it's almost exactly the same as one of the season 6 tasks), and the way John handled it is so much the way I'm hoping he'll approach every task on Taskmaster.

I don't know what John Robins will show up on Taskmaster. I am currently immersed in the radio show circa 2018, and I realize I am familiarizing myself with the John Robins of the past, whom I hear is quite different than the current John Robins, a man who has quit drinking and maybe got his shit together. I have also expressed that I quite like the John Robins who was bitter and annoying, so I hope he hasn't changed too much, and we still get a bit of that on Taskmaster.

Having now tried to spend some time not drinking alcohol myself (and... not perfectly succeeding, but mostly succeeding, still keeping it up), I've got to say I'm pretty sure that not drinking alcohol doesn't necessarily make a person less miserable or less annoying. Quite the opposite in my personal experience. You can stop drinking alcohol and still be really really annoying.

And the level of annoying in the clip I posted above is really quite tame. I know it's too much to hope that Taskmaster John Robins will reach Winner Plays On-Brian May-gate levels of annoying. He'll probably have more restraint than that, being older and wiser. But I'd still be happy with the lower, more manageable "I beat you at this pointless game and need to make sure everyone noticed that I stared right at you while I did it" levels of annoying. I think that's a reasonable level of annoying to expect him to reach on Taskmaster.

This is actually an episode in which later on we got a very rare instance of Elis James slightly losing patience with the levels of annoying to which he's subjected on a regular basis, which I found quite funny, and I cut out and uploaded the clip before realizing it's not funny out of context. It's only funny if you've listened to Elis be unbothered by a million little annoying Robins comments over several years (Elis James is a saint, by the way, he's an all right comedian but deserves to win a Chortle Award in the category of Extreme Patience), and then this one fairly innocuous little gripe gets him to finally push back. But here it is anyway since I've already uploaded it.

I actually find it a bit weird that I'll be watching John Robins circa 2023 in a couple of weeks - I've been carefully going through all his stuff in chronological order (not just the radio show, but trying to listen to his other podcast appearances and watch his few TV things alongside the radio chronology), and I'll suddenly jump forward in time by five years. I just hope he's still competitive and snippy and annoying. Overly, pointlessly competitive, to the point of sacrificing making entertaining TV. I want everyone on the special secret little internet forums to fucking hate him. That's the kind of Taskmaster I like to see.

6 notes · View notes

turtlesnails · 1 month

Note

👥

🧸

💬

❗️

🌟

Firstly, thank you to the anon who sent me the request! :)

👥️ - who are two characters that never got to interact that you would like to see talk to each other?

Jack and Yassen.

I feel like Jack would be angry at Yassen, given everything Alex told her. Possibly getting upset at him for working with Cray and for killing Ian. But, also feeling thankful that Yassen kept Alex save and spared his life.

It would be really interesting to see the two of them have a conversation or even have to work together to protect Alex. It’s something I would like to see, although it probably won’t happen.

🧸 - do you believe alex was specifically being trained to be a spy as a child?

I think Ian was training Alex, but I think it was more for Alex’s protection if ghosts of the past came after them. I could also see Ian encouraging/manipulating Alex into being a spy when he got a bit older. But, I think Ian would have wanted Alex to finish his A levels before getting in the family business.

Book verse; If Ian survived stormbreaker I could very well see Blunt convincing Ian to send Alex to Point Blanc for a few weeks to just look around. Or convincing Ian to take his nephew on more and more missions without Alex really knowing what was going on.

I do think that Ian did take Alex on missions as cover, even if the plan was just for Alex to chill at the hotel. Christmas at gunpoint is a good example of this theory, and in the book verse, Alex brings up a few other holidays he spent with Ian.

💬 - favorite quote?

Oh this is a hard one. I only saw the show once so I don’t have much of the dialogue memorized. I remember that Tom had a few good lines. (Tom is the absolute best boi).

The only line that comes to my head right now is Yassen’s. Both the conversation between Yassen and Ian, where Yassen is almost apologetic at having to kill Ian.

And, later when Yassen said, “Another time, maybe.” When he runs into Alex at the school.

In the Book Verse, Alex has a few funny one liners in the books. I like to moments when Alex is being Alex. In book one, one of my favorite lines is when Sayle and Alex are talking about the Portuguese man of war; Sayle says“You see, it [portuguese man-of-war] reminds me of myself.” and Alex’s response was “It’s 99% water. It has no brain, no guts and no anus.”

Alex in the books is immediately realizes his mistake and feels bad.

Alex says this line in the movie, too. But, it’s not as funny, but definitely comes across rudely- which I guess is how Sayle takes the comment.

❗️ - what was a moment you didn't see coming?

Season 1: Really surprised me. At first I was a bit disappointed with the changes they made from the books, but by episode three I was hooked on the plot. They did a really good job of changing things that need to be changed, and adding plot points and characters that were exciting. So basically the whole season one of TV show.

I really liked Tom’s character and his plot. The big twist I did not see coming was him getting kidnapped by Michael Roscoe and pulled into everything because of his friendship with Alex.

Season 2: I thought it was a bit more predictable and hit more of the plot points of the original books. I was not expecting Kyra to show back up in season two. At first I was feeling “Meh” about her character (since she mainly fills Jack’s role in Amsterdam), but I think they made the right call with creating team Alex (Tom, Kyra, and Alex).

Season 3: Well….. We will see 😉

🌟 🦂 who's a character you could see working for scorpia in a different timeline, and why?

Blunt. Because he is an evil character and shows time and time again that he does not care for Alex and just uses him. We also see Blunt do rather evil things in the books. He sent a sniper to scare Alex into working for him again in Scorpia Rising, so I can see him going to extremes to convince Alex to do what he wants or keep his own secret.

#alex rider #alex rider tv #ask game #alex rider ask game

2 notes · View notes

noco7 · 2 years

Note

Who are your favorite TD characters and why? :]

Thank you for the ask. And I have 3 main favorites.

So Noah, Cody, and Courtney. NoCoCo. Lol

Let's get into it:

Noah:

When I say Noah is me, I mean he manages to encompass a lot of phases that I had in my own life.

When I was in middleschool, I was the "smart kid." And I was also bad at sports. So Noah's dodgeball elimination is like... uncomfortably familiar to me. I don't think his actions were "stupid" or "bad writing," nah it’s truth in television. As a kid I was TOLD to stay on the bench whenever possible, and let the real athletes perform. So Noah staying on the sidelines... nah that makes sense. He's internalized the message.

#NoahDidNothingWrong

Even his tantrum at the end of the episode is familiar. Although I've never been that bad, there was a moment when I was playing badminton in gym. I lost a match, and I thought to myself "Well, I know more about X then he ever will. So who's the TRUE winner?"

It's so juvenile, lmao. Taking the "everyone has different strengths :)" and making it into “my strength is the Best.”

Another thing that I like Noah for is for his... "vibes." He's always acting unimpressed, always like 'who cares' turning up his nose at joy. And that's how I acted my first year of college! (I was 17, so only 1 year older than Noah lol). Because I thought it made me cool or something. But it's just overcompensation, really.

And Noah being "smart," but never actually doing anything useful. Yeah... it happens. That was me junior year of college. Everyone is like "oh you were so smart in highschool," "you're the smart one," But you have nothing to show for it.

God, he's relatable. He's a mix of all the things I dislike in myself, including the "laziness" aspect. So by the very act of liking him, by writing stories where he is comforted, understood, told it's okay to be vulnerable - it feels like I'm loving myself.

Oh, and also Noah is funny af? I decided he was my favorite character before I watched Total Drama. I was watching compilation videos of "funniest lines," "most saveage combacks," or "TD being gay for 5 minutes" and Noah was popping off! Noah has some of the best dialogue. And that appeals to another side of me I dislike - my judgemental side. So like.... 5/5 on the relatability scale.

Also, I think its funny I've not mentioned Noah's role in TD *at all*. Because he doesn't really have one? His job for TDI and WT is for him to comment on other people. That's it. And that’s fine, that’s the side-character life. No complaints.

I know some people say "Noah warned the guys about Alejandro." And like yeah, he did. But I'm pretty sure Owen and Tyler lowkey already knew. And then once Noah is gone, Owen does nothing about Alejandro? He has to be coaxed by Duncan into doing anything. And then Alejandro just flatters and hypnotizes him? And Tyler gets used for the Gwuncan plotline? So his warning does NOTHING for the show? Lmao.

I'm not even mad at this, btw. Because it doesn’t matter to me whether his sacrificed worked or not - I like Noah because I like me, not because he’s important. (Also Noah’s POC background appeals to me because I’m also POC, and I can project my ‘child of immigrants’ upbringing onto him.)

Cody:

Like a few days ago I explained to someone in dms why I liked Cody despite also hating him and thinking he's whats wrong with men in media. So gonna copy and paste my main points:

1) Although a lot of the things he does is bad (follow Gwen around, not take her NO's seriously) they do indicate some positive qualities: He's persistent, he's optimistic, and he's okay with setbacks. These are all good qualities that I do not have, and would make my life a lot better. And don't we all wish we had the confidence of a mediocre white man?

While Cody needs to learn how to STOP, we could all stand to be a little more shameless, and a little more willing to take risks.

2)There's also smth really sad about him, and I'm not necessarily talking about his parents. There's a scene in TDI, where he asks Gwen out/about her bra. And she hits him in the dick with an oar. Which... fair, lol.

#GwenDidNothingWrong

But Cody's reaction is interesting to me. He apologizes, (deserved.) And then asks *again*.

WTF? That's weird to me. It doesn't just signal entitlement. It signals that he's okay with physical harm - from the person he loves, all in the mere hope that he'll end up with said person. And that's pretty fucking tragic imo. At least that's how I interpret it. Because I think most guys at that point would be like, "What's WRONG with you i was just COMPLIMENTING you, you should be FLATTERED!"

But Cody just goes with it?

And for futher proof for my interpretation, Cody ends up telling Sierra she's his best friend during WT. Despite everything she did - multiple cases of sexual harassment, drugging, forced marriage, etc... Cody is still willing to keep her in his life, to keep her close. Because, think about it, she was the only person who consistently tried to help him. The only one who ever gave him any real compliments.

And that's sad. And also interesting.

Why would a guy like Cody, who in canon is presumably canonically cis, white, and straight, be so willing to take abuse in search of love?

Why is he so lonely? Who raised him to chase after affection like this? And what could his tale say about the problems of public society, and the potential dysfunctions of the private family unit?

And that's the beauty of Cody. Noah allows me to talk about myself, but Cody allows me to talk about the world around me. About sexism and entitlement, about classism, about societal expectations around "love," and "family," and how damaging they can be.

A lot of people see Cody as an "average white man," and if so... then the average fucking sucks and I want to talk about it, lol. I understand why others would be tired of it (and also I don’t think it’s women’s job to Make Men Happy btw. A big reason I don’t ship Cody with women.) But as writer, it’s really rewarding to explore his psyche while also providing a possibility for growth, a way out, and a happy ending.

Cody's also rlly adorable, especially in Total Dramarama. Like he's impossible to hate in that show. There's an episode where Cody risks life and limb to be considered cool by his classmates. There's one where he says "Now I have to live in the sewers *again*." I don't say this lightly, but he's the best character there. He's so funny.

Courtney:

Courtney, I got attached to via the actual show. I watched Action before Island... and she's just really cool? Her entrance is cool, and as I said repeatedly, I love evil woman. But beyond "wow girlboss😮," what else do I like about her?

I like her story. Her actual fucking story. Wow. I might be one of the only Courtney stans who likes how Total Drama handled her. Skdjsdk.

So in Island, we see her battle her class-monitor upbringing, and learn to break the rules. This is done through her BF Duncan. And overall, this is pretty standard "good girl meets bad boy and loosens up" faire. It's nothing special. (I watched Island when I was 20. So I had plenty of time to see that same story in YA romances. So... yeah. Like I said, nothing special.)

But in Action? We see her on the warpath. We see her take charge. She had taken charge in Island, but it was kinda innefectual. The joke was that she'd give orders, but things would go wrong. That she would barely be useful herself? But in Action? She takes thing in her OWN hands. She revitalizes Trent's team. She is also bad to Duncan.

And I think this could have worked, if she blamed Duncan for Harold's actions. Because Harold eliminated Courtney BECAUSE of Duncan. So she wouldn't be far-off. And also slide in a moment where her parents hate her new BF, or like. Imagine if Courtney told her parents she lost, because Harold rigged her out, but it wasn't her fault. He hated Duncan. And her parents are like "What did you expect? You date a delinquent and get suprised when trouble appears at your door?"

And so she's mad at Duncan for dragging her into his fight, for drawing her parent's ire.

No wonder she tries to "fix him." She wants to make him fit for approval, and also prove to HERSELF that she's the one with the control. That she can FIX him.

Some people hate how Courtney has no self-awareness and thinks she's a good person all the time. I fucking love it.

Courtney thinks she's HELPING. After all, she wants to be the best. So why shouldn't others? Why would Duncan have problems with a list of instructions? Courtney LOVES instructions. She loves bettering herself.

C.I.T. Counselor-in-Training. She wants to be a COUNSELOR. She wants to help people, she wants to be a Leader. But she's really bad at it! Because of instead of wanting people to accomplish their goals... she kinda wants them to accomplish what she decides their goals should be. She's not a mad scientist, she's a mad therapist.

This is why I think Action is her best season. Because that's when she goes OFF and really shows her worst potential. And I'm into that, because it gives me a lot to discuss - how the drive for success and efficiency can leave people broken. Can kill personal relationships.

I kinda LOVE that every positive relationship Courtney builds she ends up breaking. Duncan. Gwen. Scott. Gwen *again.*

I'd love it too, if she learned her lesson and developed but like. Out of context, it's so fitting. (In my fantasy rewrite of TD, she realizes something is off in WT, gets better in ROTI, and cements her character change in All Stars)

In WT, Courtney doesn't get to do much. She has the love triangle thing, which doesn't do much for her character because she doesn't learn anything from it? But she's still very funny this season. I don't like her thing with Alejandro. I don't mind CourtneyXAlejandro btw. I'd just rather them team up temporarily.

In All Stars, Courtney gets a new BF. Scott. She's mending her relationship with Gwen. It's looking good, maybe Duncan was the real problem all along. And then it collapses.

I read somewhere that TD writers just thought she couldn't be redeemed. Which is funny to me. Maybe All Stars was to show "no matter how kind to her people are, she will always put money first." It would explain alot, and if that's what they're going for, they succeeded. And ... I'm okay with that. I just wish it was more a struggle for her, or that it was better foreshadowed. But I'm not mad at the direction they chose.

So overall, Courtney is character who started out a good girl with a bad boy, turned out WORSE than the bad boy, and kept going. She did everything to *win*, yet never was a finalist. She burned three friendships for cash, yet never got it. That's poetic, honestly. She tries so hard to be a girlboss, but she's a girl-flop at the end of the day. And I like that. I really do.

Tl;dr: Noah's me, Cody's society, and Courtney is the industrial complex. Not really, because Courtney has never been profitable. She's like a failed start-up company.

BONUS: How I view their possible dynamics

I obviously ship Noah and Cody, as a kind of two losers with opposing strengths learn from each other, but also get on each others nerves. If you want to know more about how I view their dynamic, just read my fic.

Courtney and Noah are my "Do it right or don't do it all," duo. I don't care what their relationship is. Like they'd make great twins who hated each other. Science Olympiad rivals or partners. They'd even be a fine couple (if you're not writing them as related, that is EWW).

I like to imagine Courtney writing a long winded plan, handing it to Noah, and he just rips it in two and tells her he's not doing all that. Which is pretty mean tbh. I also like to imagine Courtney stepping on Noah's back while she forces him to do push ups. I imagine Noah and Courtney standing over a desk in class, asking you 'What grade did you get?" with identical smug smiles. I imagine them gossiping over Gwen together, being roommates, dissing each other's man. "You're dating trash you dug out of the gutter." "At least I'm not settling for a fun-sized McDonalds toy."

I imagine them interacting a lot, actually. I want them to be worsties who grow into besties.

Courtney and Cody is like... I'm split. They would make a really good Hallmark movie. Courtney the busy worker, and Cody who loves the Holidays. The story writes itself. But at the same time I love how they dislike each other in canon. Cuz Cody's a gwen stan and Courtney thinks Gwen should DIE. joking. And also because Cody keeps on being annoyingly sexist. Like in the Greece episode, despite having no athletic ability, he's like "let ME do it, *ladies*" and Courtney is NOT having it. So I guess they also have the range.

Maybe they don't get along until someone's like "Let's get the TWO best World Tour singers up on staaage!!!" And both Cody and Courtney stand up.

#total drama #td noah #td cody #td courtney #td askbox #they're like my little gang of losers #but noah pretends he doesn't care about being a loser #cody doesn't even know he's a loser #and courtney is trying to distance herself by any means possible #i have a lot of 2nd gen characters i like #but i haven't watched roti in a while #i remember thinking it was the best written season #but i cant remember why #also my fic is NOT a td rewrite #the td rewrite i have in my mind is so difficult and requires more research #than what im willing to do currently #also whenever noah and courtney interact in total dramarama #i cry tears of joy

50 notes · View notes