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#its a lot i have so many thoughts forever
sarafinamk · 1 day
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Fallen Angel (Smiling Critters Space Riders AU Reader Insert) Part 4
Summary: Bobby has been dealing with a lot of guilt ever since you went into rehab. Now that you're finally getting released, she's determined to make it up to you.
Two chapters in one day! Let's go! Check out the other parts here. The Smiling Critters Space Riders AU belongs to @onyxonline. Enjoy!
TW: Mentions of Blood, Mentions of Injury, Trauma, Death mentions, Mentions of assassination attempts, Religious Trauma, Religious Imagery and Symbolism, Religious Cults, Mentions of Drug Addiction, Self harm Attempt, Mention of Suicide Attempt, Mental Health Issues, Brief Anxiety Attack, Slight cursing, LOTS of negative thoughts, Implied Abuse, Conditioning
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Bobby woke up and shot herself out of bed before her alarm could finish its first beep. She puts on her uniform, goes through her usual routine, and finishes by the time everyone else wake up. The other riders exchange worried glances amongst each other but they say nothing to Bobby.
Today’s the day the riders pick you up from the treatment center so you can continue to serve your sentence with them. Sure, serving your sentence in the same station where they kept the other prisoners would seem like the obvious choice, if you were any other enemy to the galaxy, that is. But the fact is, you’re not, and Commander Ludwig isn’t sure just how many more break-ins he and the medical staff are able to handle.
Of course, word would get around that the Prototype’s archangel was being confined at HQ’s treatment center. To no one’s surprise, anyone with a vendetta and a craving for bloodshed, would try to find you and your cell. You never got hurt, at least. No extra security measures are enough to dissuade them it seems.
Bobby gets herself situated in the cockpit, glancing back and forth between the starry scenery, the clock on the wall, and the navigation tab open in front of Dogday. She sighs while absent-mindedly bouncing her leg hard enough to turn the couch into a massage chair.
“Are you sure you want to come with us, Bobby?” Dogday’s concerned voice pulls her out of her thoughts. “It’s okay if you want to stay behind while we get (Y/n). There’s no pressure. I’m sure they’ll understand.”
Bobby gives her best reassuring, confident smile.
“Dogday, I appreciate your concern, but I can’t avoid (Y/n) forever. I have to face them eventually. And I really do want to see them.”
There is a brief moment of silence before Dogday sighs, nods, and goes back to piloting the ship. Bobby goes back to glancing out the window, her smile quickly disappearing.
She didn’t lie. She really wanted to visit you. Just once. Everyone else has visited you at least a few times, but Bobby couldn’t even find the courage to visit you after what happened in your old prison cell. None of her teammates held it against her, but she sure as heck did. She's a trained medic for crying out loud! She shouldn't have been acting hysterical the way she was, especially when you needed her the most. She's dealt with blood and injuries before. She's dealt with a few mentally unstable cultists during her time as a Space Rider. She's even helped out people in similar situations like you before.
No!
She has to remember that she may not have been much help during such a critical moment, but help came to you on time. You’re surrounded by trained medics and from what the other riders have told her, you’ve been recovering well in the treatment center. That's what matters!
Part of her, however, still holds onto the fear that if she visited your cell, she would find you all bloody and on the edge of death again. Some nights, she would have nightmares about that.
What if it happens today?
Soon enough, they arrive at the Space Station. Straightening her uniform and taking a deep breath, Bobby follows Dogday into the station. Thankfully, the treatment center was close to the hangars. It made the transporting of the injured easier for everyone.
The pair stop at the entrance. Dogday looks back at Bobby with a reassuring smile, gesturing back to the hangars. Bobby returns the smile, more sincere and determined this time. She shakes her head and stares at the neon sign above the entrance. She is going to see you today and she will not back down.
Not this time nor any time going forward.
Dogday nods in understanding, and the pair make their way inside. They check in and wait which didn't take long. Dogday sees you first, and greets you warmly. Bobby turns to where her captain was looking and there you were.
You walk out the hallway with two riders and a doctor. Bobby frowns upon seeing the handcuffs on you. She hated the idea of you being locked in a cell while needing to be hospitalized. Sure, you’ve done terrible things, and you served a terrible being, but you must’ve had a good reason. Call her crazy but she believes there is some good in you.
The riders hand Bobby your bag and stand at attention while the doctor and Dogday discuss your treatment plan going forward. Bobby tries to pay attention, but finds herself too busy staring at you. In her defense, how can she not? She's seeing you for the first time in six months.
She was ACTUALLY seeing you without any bandages, bruises, cuts, or that awful mask you always wore. For the first time, Bobby is seeing the real you, the one everyone called the Archangel. Her teammates were right about you. Not only do you look healthier, but you just look...
Beautiful.
Like...
REALLY beautiful.
You glance her way, and she smiles and waves (albeit very awkwardly). You nod in her direction and turn your focus back to the conversation between Dogday and the doctor.
Oh god, this is awkward.
After a brief exchange of thank you's and goodbyes from both sides, Bobby and Dogday quickly escort you back to the ship.
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You internally breathe a sigh of relief the moment you entered the Space Riders’ ship. You weren’t sure how much longer you could handle all those eyes glancing your way. You were waiting for someone to come out of the shadows some way and finish you off just like those intruders that try to break into your cell.
Now that thought made you tense up again despite it being only you and the eight Space Riders in this ship. You couldn't sense any other energies in the ship, but that didn't ease your racing mind one bit. Who knows what the Space Riders will do to you now that they are not forced to follow social protocols?
You still have those damn power mufflers on you. Sure, that shouldn't stop you from fighting, but not only are you surrounded by four riders who have celestial powers, but you're surrounded by four non-celestial riders who, unfortunately, handle themselves well in combat. Unless you can outsmart all eight of them and break your power mufflers in the process, you don't see yourself winning this fight. It's best to be smart about all this.
"Okay, so, first things first, welcome back, (Y/n). We're happy that you're here with us," the Captain begins while clasping his hands together, making you stand straight at full attention. "It's okay, relax. It's just introductions. Nothing formal."
You're not sure if this is supposed to be a test or not, but you would rather not risk failing it when you just got here. You continue to stand at full attention, waiting for the Captain to continue. The Captain sighs, and clears his throat before continuing
"Anyways, I know there's a lot to do and discuss, and you probably have some questions. Don't worry, we'll get to that in time. But since this is your first day back, I think it would be best to try and get you settled in. I can show you where you'll be staying and-"
"Actually," interrupted Bobby, "I can show (Y/n) where they'll be staying."
"Are you sure?" the Captain asks with hesitation in his voice.
"Don't worry about it. I'm sure."
The only response she is met with is silence. You wait for something to happen: an argument, physical discipline, a speech, or a fair sentence. You never saw the Captain incorporate the type of punishments that the Prototype did.
At least in public anyways.
But now that he is no longer in the public eye, you're not sure if you're ready to witness the truth for the first time, but you prepare yourself for it anyways. Instead, to your surprise, the first thing the Captain does is take the handcuffs off you, but not the power mufflers.
"Okay, if you're sure."
Bobby cheerfully thanks the Captain and escorts you to the direction of the prison cells. You reach the entrance leading to the prison cells, but Bobby just... passes it. Did she not pay attention to where she was going? Why is she passing it?
You want to ask, but you force yourself to keep quiet. She could be looking to punish you for making her suffer with your selfishness. That’s why she never visited you during your rehabilitation. Instead, she leads you to the riders’ sleeping quarters and into one sleeping quarter that you know was never occupied. All the furniture arranged was as you remember it from previous battles except the bed is now neatly made.
“Here we are. Your new room. It’s not much, but I think it’ll be a nice change of environment for you after being hospitalized for almost a year.”
Not much? This is a lot more than what you see in the sleeping quarters back home. This is much more than the cells you were in for the last several months. If this isn’t “much” to the heretics, then what does having a lot look like to them?
“Crafty and I made some clothes for you. She noticed you like having your head covered, so we made you a lot of hoodies.”
You silently take in every little detail of the room.
“This is all mine?”
“Yes, it is. We weren’t sure how you wanted your room decorated, but we’ll figure that out over time.” Why would it matter how you wanted to decorate this room?  At least the Space Riders are giving you, their prisoner, one in the first place. It’s selfish to ask for more than what you deserve. “Picky is making a special dinner to celebrate your recovery and coming back. I’ll come get you when it’s ready. I’ll leave you alone to get settled.” Bobby’s voice cuts off your thoughts, even when you don’t say anything. She smiles and makes her way to the door.
“Thank you,” you say suddenly. Bobby stops dead, turns to you slowly. Her eyes widen.
“What did you say?”
You clear your throat and straighten yourself up. “Considering the fact I’m your prisoner, this is a very generous accommodation.”
Bobby continues to stare at you, and you're questioning if you said the wrong thing already. Not even one hour into your return and you’re already making mistakes. Maybe she’ll change her mind and decide a cell is a more fitting place, but instead of her screaming, or silence and storming away from you, she smiles. “You're not our prisoner here, (Y/n). You're our guest. We want to help you get better. I’m just happy that you’re here with us.”
With that, you are left alone. You hastily dig into your bag which Bobby must have placed in the on the dresser. Thankfully, your journal and the books given to you by Bubba were still there.
You pull one of the drawers and they were full of very thick long-sleeved shirts with hoods. “Hoodies” as Bobby called them. But… which one are you supposed to wear? Bobby never specified which one was mandatory for you, and you couldn’t just ask. You would get punished for not knowing when it should be obvious. You grip the skin of your forearm tightly.
No.
No, no.
No, no, no.
Fight back the temptation to see red! You can’t risk being sent back again. Just take some deep breaths.
In…
Hold…
Out…
Repeat.
Just like the healers taught you. Soon enough, your grip loosens and thankfully, there was no sign of red.
You look back at the drawer of “hoodies.” Since the Space Riders wear white while off duty, then perhaps the white one would be your safest choice. You sigh, hoping that line of reasoning will hold true during mealtime. You relax more when the warmth and softness cover you. The best part was that hood covered your head. It was no mask, but it was better than having your entire head exposed. You were just relieved you no longer had to rely on those infirmary blankets to keep your body and head covered. At least there were no cameras installed in your accommodation… to your knowledge.
Since you had no orders given until mealtime, you decided to explore more of the room. Maybe if you are good, then living as a prisoner of the heretics won’t be so terrible. Maybe you will be able to survive Hell after all.
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Stay tuned for the next part "Burn Bright Until You Burn Out"
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wabatle · 3 days
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hi!!!!!
can i req mafuyu, airi, an, akito, shiho, and rui with a super affectionate s/o?
sorry if that's too many characters, feel free to just ignore this
tysm, I love your work! ♡♡♡
WHAT THE HECK YOU PICKED ALL OF MY FAVORITES WHAT
so just for u anon i will put hearts instead of stars
♡~Mafuyu, Airi, An, Akito, etc, with a super affectionate s/o
(wa)batle nonsense (author's note):
this took me forever but I worked really hard on it, so ty for the request! and don't worry, currently i don't have a character limit, and i even added more!
warnings: none/all fluff
taglist: @stellas-starry-stove13, Rui and Akito are waiting!
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♡~Mafuyu Asahina
The idea of being showered in affection is a foreign topic for her since her mother is a terrible person
She feels a subtle warmth when you’re being affectionate with her, like something that could never be replicated by someone else
Although she doesn’t understand what she’s feeling, she does know that when you put your arm around her or put your head on her shoulder she feels a sense of security and relief
I can see her as not minding innocent PDA, like holding hands in public or small cheek kisses, but save the more affectionate stuff for home
I think she sees your affection almost as a safe space, so she will always drop her good girl act around you so she can feel like the affection she’s getting is real
When she sees you attached to her, if you look close enough, you might be able to see a real smile
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♡~Airi Momoi
Airi probably thinks it's really cute, and returns it whenever she can!
If you play with or style her hair, she might protest a little, but she won't complain after its done
She might get flustered if you're being really affectionate, but most of the time she'll be okay
I can see her as someone who is also very affectionate, so you two would probably cuddle a lot after school or streams
She probably also wants to be spoiled with cuddles and kisses after a show, so make sure you do that
Gonna be honest— movie nights are a must, she loves to be close to you and loves that you love to be close to her
You probably also play-fight all the time, often resulting in one of you hurting yourselves, but not a bad injury
Overall, she would be a really cute and affectionate girlfriend if you were also affectionate with her
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♡~An Shiraishi
Another who would think it's cute and return the favor!
I cannot even describe how much An loves this
You probably pinch each other's cheeks a lot (I know it's cringe, but I just feel like that would happen)
If you're shorter than her, she will wrap her arms around your waist while you cook
If you're taller, she'll put herself in between your arms in front of you while you cook
Same thing for you but vice versa
I can see you being kept up late because you guys can't stop giggling and complimenting each other, and constantly cuddling each other so much one of you almost falls off the bed
You probably sit on each other's laps all the time. I'm sorry but it's true
Idk why, but I can see you two cuddling and writing down lyrics or thoughts for songs and shows
An loves to tease and make you all red, so you should do the same for her
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♡~Akito Shinonome
He…likes it
Akito really likes being able to go home and cuddle with you after a long day, and watching a movie with you
He enjoys being showered in affection from you, because it means he gets to spend meaningful time with you
Ena hears about you nonstop. To the point where she has to forcibly change the subject to get him to stop talking about you
Akito would return your affection through gifts, I think
He would ask Ena what he should get you, or he’ll find something he just knows you would like, and he'll buy it on the spot
When you're cuddling or play-fighting, you might get him to tell you that you’re cute
Kisses. So. Many. Kisses.
For some reason, I see Akito as someone who is easily influenced by his s/o in some ways, so I think when you're being extra affectionate with him, he’ll be extra affectionate with you too
So I can see you sitting in his lap, or with in between his legs, or vise versa
If you're sitting like this, he will kiss the back of your head over and over again
He also would lay with his head in your lap and have you play with his hair (or vice versa, he would play with your hair too)
He will hug you from behind at home
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♡~Shiho Hinomori
Shiho likes to be alone.
Let me specify, she likes to be alone with you.
PDA is a no-go with her, not even holding hands
Shiho really isn’t a person to like any type of affection, yet somehow she was able to fall in love with you, the most affectionate person she knows (even more than Saki!)
Shiho will hug you back and kiss you back, but only if you do it first so she knows what she’s doing
As much as she would hate to say it, she would ask Shizuku for advice on how to…relationship?
She would return your affection by letting you sit as close as possible and practicing her bass for you
She doesn’t really like clinginess, but she will accept pretty much anything from you
Shiho does appreciate your company, though
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♡~Rui Kamishiro
Rui will 100% return it tenfold.
He will carry you around the house, outside, wherever you want to go
You can sit on his lap while he works on new blueprints for robots he’s working on
He’s very sweet to you and lets you be affectionate in anyway you want to to him
Slow dancing. I can see you two slow dancing at home randomly
You also sit in between his legs sometimes
He will let you cling onto him while he tells you about his ideas for shows or concepts for inventions
He probably can’t not cuddle you when you’re being affectionate, and that’s when the seating positions come in
It’s hard for you two to fall asleep because you keep whispering compliments in his ear and he keeps doing the same for you
If you go to the same school you have lunch on the rooftop everyday where you will cuddle together
If you don’t go to the same school then you’ll have to be like Emu and infiltrate
Not to mention kisses
He will kiss you anywhere on your face, the back/top of your head, even ears or neck
He likes to hold you close to him and stroke your head
Idk why but I feel like when you kiss it’s like something out of disney movie
☆BONUS☆
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♡~Ichika Hoshino
Ichika will get flustered very quickly depending on what you’re doing
If you’re flirting, expect her face to get red
If you’re just hugging her a lot, she’ll still get red but she’ll hug you back
Like Shiho, one of the ways she’ll return your affection is by playing her guitar while you’re curled up next to her
Yet another who would stay up late by complimenting you
She practices singing around you, and when she gets nervous practicing she’ll squeeze your hand
She’ll ask you for your ideas for lyrics while you’re clinging onto her
She’s fine with pretty much any way you sit, as long as it’s not on each other
She’ll happily hold hands with you anywhere you go, and maybe even link arms!
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♡~Shizuku Hinomori
She loves it!
You cling onto each other when you’re walking around, and cuddle together 99% of the time you’re at home together
You sit with your arms around each other and either one of you has their head on the other’s shoulder
When you hug her arm while she’s putting her miso soup in her thermos, she probably drops everything and hugs you back
When you go out shopping together you’re linking arms or one of you is clinging to the other’s arm
She’ll also let you sit with your head in her lap while she plays with your hair
She would love it if you sat behind her and styled her hair however you want! And then she’ll tell you how much she loves it and how good of a job you did, even if it doesn’t look good.
WHEW, MY LONGEST FIC YET!
want to know the word count?
1,360 words
help
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thebookofanne · 2 days
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Queen of Tears (2024)
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This is not an average love story. This is a tearjerker or one might say an exquisite premium cliche series with a beautiful or maybe painful portrayal of romance shared between a married couple?
It’s been quite sometime since I’ve been so thoroughly engrossed in a series and got drawn with a whirlwind of excitement and sadness. I found myself deeply resonating with the characters’ struggles and it kept me on the edge of my seat throughout. The way Kim Soohyun and Kim Jiwon perfectly embodied the character of Baek Hyunwoo and Hong Haein just left me in awe. They seamlessly blended into their roles as they were tailor-made for it. I can firmly say their acting prowess was cited as the only major reason for watching this series. 
I'm genuinely grateful to whoever conceived the idea of bringing them together. Not to say, their unrivaled and uncanny chemistry conveys a lasting impact and indeed leaves us yearning for more moments shared on screen. Their incredible dynamic, the way they execute the range of emotions from anger, longing, love, happy and sorrow really create an irresistible allure. The way Kim Jiwon plays the role of emotional enigma of Hong Haein and the way Kim Soohyun captivates with myriad of nuanced expressions of Baek Hyunwoo are truly breathtaking. It makes me impossible to imagine Hong Haein and Baek Hyunwoo other than Kim Jiwon and Kim Soohyun.
Their emotions did not even wane a bit despite its messy plot and a little vapid storyline in the second half. One drawback besides its cliche moments, there is actually an abundance of side characters story where it leads to so many things in the story to unfold and that is somehow not so necessary? These subplots can sometimes lead to several episodes where it can be bit draggy and we could feel there is lacking in the screentime of Haein and Hyunwoo. How I wish they would focus more on side stories of these two main characters instead of side characters stories. Amidst these shortcomings, I am truly grateful again for Soohyun and Jiwon for saving the plot and dragging the collar of this series by keeping our immersion into the storyline.
I love how there are a lot of foreshadowing scenes woven into the narrative.
I love how they always welcome us with heart-wrenching and heartwarming hugs.
I love how they depict familial love.
I love how they suppress the very emotions to fuel this series.
Alongside these, there are also parts where some viewers may find certain moments in the cinematography to be overly prolonged, such as extended close-ups of character’s faces. However, I believe these shots essentially depict how much time the characters have wasted for not looking at their partner, so they become lost by the track of time and engrossed in their own thoughts or emotions. We actually could witness their love begins to rekindle and there’s a shift in how the characters gaze and linger at each other.
The beauty of their acting synergies carries such sincerity that I found myself irresistibly drawn in, and all I could utter was,
"Can love truly be this beautiful?”
“Can one truly love someone in such a way?”
Truly, I'm at a loss for words when it comes to expanding upon the essence of true love or perhaps even articulating the depths of emotions where one would willingly sacrifice everything when the life of the person they love was on the line. But their acting prowess and stellar performance keeps on drawing me into the moment and I could truly feel love is in the air.
This is undoubtedly an ode to the tapestry of life, love and loss. 
This series will be etched into my heart forever.
Rest in love, Hyunwoo and Haein.
Thank you, Hong Haein.
Thank you, Baek Hyunwoo.
Thank you, Queen of Tears.
What a series.
2024년 4월 29일, 0306hrs.
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bluejaybytes · 5 months
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Here's actually the first doodle I did of all May, June, and Jake when I was first making them over a year ago. It is still completely accurate
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ltwilliamhavers · 3 months
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sum thots on twitter dot com
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vinylvacancy · 2 years
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vinyls from my collection ( in no particular order ) 21 / banging doldrums
infinity on high ( 2007 ) by fall out boy
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abdlstuck · 1 year
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he’s way too fucking cool for this!!
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milkweedman · 1 year
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Coincidentally my usable warp is like exactly as long as my dining room. Point is tho, i am finally done thank fuck
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merry-the-cookie · 1 year
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GUYS!!!! GUYS!!!!!!!!!!! i commissioned the incredibly talented insanely cool and radical jay @tacogrande​ to draw my favorite dudes and im so happy loOK AT THEM........ ashtons lil smile 😭 michaels sleepy eyes 🥺 all of it so gorgeous
pls go give her a follow and check out all her socials and if you can commission her i cannot recommend it enough, i mean look at this dreamy lil portrait 🥺🥰💖💖💖
alt version under the cut cus yea i got tWO VERSIONSSS
jay has been an inspiration to me for so many years since i was a wee little teenager and ive learned soooo much from them and to commission her again after so long whilst still being a huge fan of their art felt like a full circle moment hehe will definitely do again <3 maybe complete the 5sos set dfhjGHFD
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#my goal in life now is to get as many people as possible to draw mike and ash gfhjkHDFHJAGHJDFGHJDFGDHJF#me trying to keep myself from gushing too much about jays art in the post#very hard 🧍🧍🧍#fr tho i commissioned them for the first time in like 2016 for my fav glee trio and then my fav tokyo ghoul characters in 2017#this is long overdUE!!!!#its been incredible seeing her art grow through the years and im always in awe of her flowy lines and stylization of people#honestly my thought process for the commish was 'i wanna see ashton in jays style' gfhjkGHJFDGHJDF i just knew she would draw him good ehehe#and the coloring style!!! and the palettes!!! so pretty im so#always looking to their art for inspiration!!!!#ALSO jay was the first 'big artist' to give me time of day if that makes sense gfhjGHJFDGDFJ like i vividly remember them being such a cool#person in the glee fandom esp if u did fanart cus a lot of big fanartists would only share other popular artists#and jay was out there giving space and attention to us lil guys startin out#i know it sounds a lil stupid but it meant everything to my lil 17yo self! built up my confidence like crazy#forever grateful for that!!!#ok i have rambled enough gfhjkGHJGDHFJ SORRY i just rlly appreciate jay and if u got the means id defo encourage you to commission her <3333#michael clifford#ashton irwin#5sos#mashton#5sos art#EDIT ALSO JAY BOUGHT THE FIRST KEYCHAIN I DID EVEN THO SHE DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT DEAR EVAN HANSEN a real one fr fr
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sturnmad · 4 months
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Chris getting a little too relatable w his fear of commitment now
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kageyama-ritsu · 1 year
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idk theres something about makotos overarching character arc being that he basically decided to devote his whole self into doing something he loves (being an idol and being part of trickstar) and sticking with it even when it consistently drags him outside of his comfort zone
parallels with his modelling career where he was also repeatedly pulled outside of his comfort zone, but in ways where he was being taken advantage of, where it was done to the detriment of his own self, something he wished he could escape from but circumstances prevented him from doing so until he reached a breaking point and physically could not continue anymore.
now he's constantly being pushed to do things like take charge, assert himself, and gain self-confidence, even when he doesn't quite feel comfortable in doing so. he fights back when he doesn't think he's being valued as a human being with his own desires and wants. every time he's pushed out of his comfort zone, it's for his own benefit - and even if it isn't, he finds a way to put a positive spin on it. and most importantly (to me anyways), he does this all while pursuing his dream of becoming an idol, something that doesn't come as naturally to him as modelling did, something he still feels inadequate about and is unsure he even has the talent for. but he works his ass off to be an idol despite the fact that he can quit anytime BECAUSE he loves the new path he's chosen so much
#ensemble stars#makoto yuuki#after the trauma his modelling career left him with he could have tried his best to just live a normal life#or stayed a hikkikomori forever. i dont think many people wouldhave blamed him#but instead he decided to risk it all and place himself back in the spotlight again#originally just as a way to create a completely brand new and fresh start to his life#but eventually gaining the courage and confidence to literally face his past (cameras) and make something good of it#i think many makoto enjoyers would describe him as 'ruthless' or 'pragmatic' which is admittedly a rather confusing descriptor#for those who havent pored over his stories#but its a very different sort of pragmatism from the usual that someone like. say ibara or eichi would embody in some ways#because it's more... hmm... reactionary? defensive?#the goal of his pragmatism is not to brutally force his opponents out of the way#but as a way to push himself and those he cares about forwards no matter what stands in their way#an example of this is the fact that he uses a sort of easygoing and klutzy persona on the stage#to smooth over the mistakes and relative lack of talent he had compared to the other three#and basically incorpoate his mistakes into his appeal#he does it so well that i think a lot of enstars fans legitimately have the misconception that makoto is just a silly little guy#yes hes part of the idiot combi but he's the tsukkomi. yes hes a silly guy but he can be as serious as they come when the chips are down#this is the guy who literally had to be locked in a room for a week tostop him from going back to trickstar#this is the guy who was willing to sacrifice what he thought of back then as his only redeeming quality (his looks)#in order to be an idol in the unit he loves!!!#when im out of catching up on work hell and can writemy 10k+ word makoto dissertation its fucking over for you all
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mythesque · 2 months
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alhaitham and dehya are FRIENDS they are friends THEY ARE FRIENDS they are besties they are F R I E N D S this Is the hill i Will die on
#none of u guys understand them like i do (lamenting)#desert gang you will always be fucking famous to meeeee#emotionally i am perpetually living in the sumeru archon quest#i have Lots Of Fucking Thoughts about it and them#anyway these are the hills i will die on: 1. alhaitham and dehya are best* fucking friends (*best here w an asterisk bc dehya has many#friends bc she is a very charming and likeable woman w myriad good qualities and alhaitham is not those things (i hate him) (affectionate)#so obviously dehya doesnt need some weirdo scholar to be her best friend but they are still very special friends bc they are v special to ME#(slight tangent but god i just have so much fucking brainrot abt the sumeru charas i have So Many Thoughts please you dont understand im dyi#dying#dont even get me started on nilou nilou is fucking wonderful and amazing and perfect this is another hill i will die on i am a#nilou defender forever and ever#aNYWAY im getting fucking sidetracked but im rambing word vomit nonsense in the tags of my tumblr dot com bc its the wee hours of morning an#and i have a problem and that problem is called i am very not normal about these stupid fucking characters and ANYWAY to finally continue my#list from like ten tags ago#the other hill i will die on is 2. signora deserved better LMAOOO#my other ~~problem~~ superpower is i can make anything abt the fatui harbingers /incurs smirks#alright ill stop my yapping lololol just throwing my thoughts out into the void like woe brainrot be upon ye#.txt
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aropride · 9 months
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MAYBE IT WOULD STRENGTHEN THE STORY IF THEY GOT TOGETHER ACTUALLY 🖕
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potatobugz · 2 years
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hello Homestuck fans. this is an Erisolsprite song, I think ↓
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astrxealis · 2 years
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it has been a while since i have advertised any of my favorite games and so hello ... !! i implore you to play final fantasy xiv (fourteen) it is my favorite game and it is so good for so many reasons i love it so much (unlimited free trial btw)
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i could go on forever about this game and idk if that's even an exaggeration at this point bcs i've talked for hours about it#tbh i think any kind of gamer could play it (though ofc there's people who won't like it and that's fine bcs we're all different!)#but yeah it IS an mmorpg but there are really a lot of people who have this as their first mmorpg or the ONLY mmo they like#the story is incredibly good and ofc that too is. up to You but in general i do believe and a lot of others do as well that yeah#idk man :') this game has brought me an extreme amount of joy and is honestly . man. i owe so much to it#and i'm really not afraid to say that! either out of embarrassment or shame or whatever bcs i am affirmed by the many others who feel the#same that i'm not alone in feeling this way >_< idk. i think those around me and esp my loved ones and friends#deserve the experience the same joy ffxiv has given me ... even if not to the same extent ofc WHEEZE ffxiv just personally means#so much to me it consumes my mind and i love it so very much ehbgsbjhg BUT YEAH. yeah#i've felt a bit guilty or embarrassed to like ... express how much things mean to me bcs hmmhmmhm maybe i'm Too Much#but i think xiv has really helped me affirm myself and the fact that yeah! i'm just really passionate and enthusiastic about what i love#and uh. ehbghabgbhb i still don't share my thoughts except for to myself and to my twin and online just a bit but#man idk what i'm talking anymore about but i'm really grateful to ffxiv and i'm glad a lot of others are too ... ><#which is interesting bcs a lot of the playerbase is older than me :O hells yoshi-p is around the age of my dad and a streamer i watch is too#GBSHJBG ... and i have played with people much older than me as well! but it's. strangely nice?#i don't necessarily have to be wary about my safety bcs in general you wouldn't find that with the playerbase unless you do#specific things/go to specific places :O a lot are just people looking to have fun and/or relax after a long day. which is nice#hmm i'm just rambling a lot now again but yeah ... i think its really beautiful how we each have something that we love a lot#and for me one of those stuff is def ffxiv. and i . think it's understandable/valid for me to wish for those i care for to experience what#i have too :O hmm w all this ngl i see that i still need to better accept my feelings and all GHSBHG i'll try my best ><#okay rambles over GAH I SHOULD EAT DINNER. maybe finish 1 hw as well b4 the day ends ehe#tbh most of my rambles ^^ are for ffxiv w the RPG part bcs tbh it is true when people say it is like an rpg + mmo aspects lol#but i really appreciate the mmo aspect >< it's strangely helped me w my social anxiety rather than worsen it!#it's helped me make new friends and great experiences and considering w/o the mmo aspect i'd probably be still#drowning in my misery from back then :O if it were not for ffxiv i sincerely doubt i would have talked again to my irl best friends so <3#okay i will stop rambling now. tbh i don't think ... hm ... nvm. but anyway! no pressure ofc but yes i suggest u play ffxiv teehee#but if you really can't due to Reasons that is ofc fine as well! i don't want to seem like i'm forcin people wah ...#it is just a thing for ffxiv players to like advertising for ffxiv and i so happen to really like doing that lol ehbsjgh ><#uh i forgot what else i wanted to say but my throat is gabgjebgjhs so bye bye
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myriadsystem · 5 days
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#must not text him texting him is the growth killer#must not text him texting him would be bad because it will make us feel bad and its my fucking bday this weekend#im not letting me do that to us#but fucking god i miss him rn and a lot lately 😭😮‍💨 was there a traumaversary i didnt know about??#the only him related traumaversary already happened in feb and we handled it pretty fairly well (mostly due to the ffected being dormant)#but still like. what did i do last year for my bday? what did we do the year before he was probably there then but i dont remember feeling#this way around last bday? which he prroobbabblyy wasnt there for? time is not easy for me#idk its driving me crazypants lately like i miss him so much i thought he was my everything forever he told me he would be#but hes not and he never was and hes done a lot to hurt me but none of it was on purpose he was never mean or violent#and looking at old pictures we look so fucking good together and old chats the way he talked to me was so sweet and but that doesnt change#the fact that at this point in time and probably never again is he actually here#fuck this noise man ive got a cute outfit ready im going to the local museum with my grandma for my bday day#and ive got weed and tunes planned for the evening there are so many things to look forward to coming soon why#why do i seem to be stuck in the past lately. like not in active ptsd mode im not triggered as the kids love to say but i just cant stop#thinking abt him and the whole relationship and wishing he was here. wishing he never left? or more like wishing hed come back#hoping that hes changed enough and that i have too to make it work. i keep having awful visions of him coming to my door after a life attemp#and im so mad at him but i cant leave him out here so of course i invite him in to care for him and make sure hes ok#and its awful because it feels like a whisper away from being reality. its too close to what could be real#and its awful not because its a dream but because the closeness to what could be reality hurts so much when logic kicks in#and i know its not reality no matter how dang close it seems#personal#i think im splitty lately. im losing more time than usual and i cant get this boy outta my head.#i hope hes a lingering thought and not a permanent resident oh that would fuck us up so so bad#idk. idk dude! everythings fucked up atm im doing a lot of personal growth but im also behind on so many other things#i just want him out of my brain. its my fucking goddamn birthday and im making this one a good one for fucking once#i can handle the other shit later but this one do be fucking me up in a major way lately the last few days. weeks? who knows
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