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#ive considered picking up drawing again
fooltofancy · 1 month
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..... the eternal pipedream of being able to draw digitally at work.
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amethystcove · 1 year
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girl HELP ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IN MY FREE TIME IS A C!GNF DSMP S1 ENDING I NEED IT SOOOO BAD
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be-good-to-bugs · 1 year
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hehehe
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marleemutt · 5 months
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TLDR: im a black trans artist who can use some help right now following the sudden passing of my only sister - her doberman is now the responsibility of my parents and we can use help for his food, supplements, toys etc.
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Kofi (help me send Chewy orders to my parent's house)
Wishlist (literally send him things like toys, treats, etc.)
⬇️ more info ⬇️
hey guys
some of you might be aware of this already, but early October, my eldest sibling & only sister suddenly passed away due to a seizure, she had been dealing with epilepsy her whole life.
this has been incredibly difficult for me, and my family. her passing was incredibly sudden, she was only 30.
for the past month or so ive been struggling to find any motivation to draw, and barely able to work.
she was the incredibly devoted owner of a doberman named Remi(Ramsey). Me and my sister traveled 4 hours to pick him up three years ago. He's a goofball who tears up socks and needs constant supervision. My parents love him, but I can tell he is a lot of work for two people who have fulltime jobs and have lived long lives.
I'm going to try to help them take care of him as much as possible, I feel that it's the least we can do to honor my sister's memory, since she loved him so deeply.
My sister always wanted a doberman, for years she would watch videos about dobermans and talk about them to anyone who would listen.
Remi wasn't easy to raise - I shared a room with my sister when she got him in 2020, she still worked a 9-5, five days a week, so I was his nanny for most of his difficult childhood. I was his chew toy for the first year of his life about - but that only made him bond closer to me. If he wasn't following my sister, I was choice #2. Dobermans are "velcro dogs", they were bred to guard their owners, and because of this, they are fiercely loyal. I've been moved out of my parent's place for going on 3 years, and my sister had just moved with Remi out a few months prior to her passing.
A week before my sister's sudden passing, we had to board Remi at my dog daycare job while my family and I took a trip out of state. When dropping him off, although he was happy to see me again for the first time in months, the moment my sister turned her back to him he began to panic. He got through the boarding all right but my coworkers told me he would cry and wait by the door for me or her. When my sister picked him up, they said he jumped all 80+lbs into her arms.
Since my sister's passing, Remi has been directionless. He's with my family, people he trusts, but he's bored, confused, and heartbroken. My sister would often take him to the dog park, social events, on runs, etc. but my parent's can't do that in their age. If my apartment allowed large dogs, I would take him, but I can't, and I see him maybe twice a month if possible.
Ramsey's Christmas List
I made a christmas list for him of things that might help my parents better take care of him. We're trying different food brands out because he struggles with frequent stomach issues, and we can't seem to figure out what food my sister was feeding him. This list is by no means a necessity for him, but I tried to add things to help with his boredom and keep him stimulated when my parents can't give him all their attention.
i do want to state that my family is capable of providing him with the essentials to live, we arent irresponsible. i would just like to help my parents out since a 3 year old 80-90lb doberman is a lot of work to be suddenly placed on them soley. And I worry for his health and well-being sometimes - Remi has a tendency to eat/tear random objects when he's bored.
please consider donating whatever you can. Everything goes directly to him.
thank you for taking the time to read this, and possibly reblog if possible. ❤️
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gamergirl929 · 3 months
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Going Under the Knife (Emily Sonnett x Kelley O'Hara x Reader)
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You knew surgery was a big deal, which is why you'd did your best to hide it from your teammates, particularly Emily Sonnett and Kelley O'Hara, two women who were currently dating and two women you were desperately in love with. However, a single phone call draws them to the hospital, and to your bedside, where everything changes.
Your heart clenched roughly in your chest, your anxiety spiking as the IV punctured your skin, resting within a vein that would be used to lull you to sleep so the surgery could begin.  
You knew your teammates would be livid when they realized you’d hidden your injury from them, but if there was one thing you didn’t like, it was to be fussed over.  
You’d assured them time and time again that the slight limp you developed after a rough tackle during the World Cup was nothing to worry about, that the grimace on your face when you walked was nothing, and that the groan when you pulled your cleat off was in relief and not excruciating pain.  
You stare at the white ceiling above you, glancing at the empty seat resting at your bedside.  
You knew you should’ve told someone, anyone, that you were about to face a four-hour surgery, but again, you didn’t want to be fretted over.  
Despite that, you knew you should’ve told THEM specifically, knowing that once they found out you were in the hospital and hadn’t told them, they would be far from happy.  
Kelley O’Hara and Emily Sonnett had been dating for well over a year and considering this had been the first actual holiday they had together, you didn’t want to intrude on that.  
Your heart again clenches in your chest, the surgery the furthest thing from your mind when you think about the couple.  
It didn’t take long for feelings to develop between you and the couple, the light caresses, and the flirty retorts making you fall harder and harder for the pair.  
No matter how hard you fell, you knew that they would never be interested in you, how could they when they already had each other? 
You’re pulled out of your thoughts by the sound of a clearing throat, your eyes widening when you see your doctor standing before you, the man wearing blue scrubs. 
“Are you ready Ms. Y/L/N?” He asks and you inhale deeply, your eyes fluttering shut as you nod reluctantly. 
“I’m ready.”  
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Alex Morgan rolled her eyes playfully as Servando chased her daughter around the living room, Charlie giggling wildly as he caught her, swinging her up into the air and kissing her face over and over again.  
Alex’s brows furrow when her phone, which was resting on the counter begins to ring, the woman making her way across the room to pick it up. 
She hums at the sight of the unknown number stretched across the screen, a number starting with, what she knew, was the area code for Seattle, Washington.  
She clears her throat before answering, ducking into the kitchen to escape the noisy living room.  
“Hello?” She asks.  
“Is this Alex Morgan?” The woman on the other end of the phone clearing her throat.  
“Ye-Yes, this is her.”  
“Hello Ms. Morgan, this is UV Medical Center, calling in regards to a patient of ours, Y/N...”  
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Considering you spent your early years on the Orlando Pride alongside Alex Morgan, she almost immediately took you under her wing, the woman becoming not only a mentor to you, but something akin to an older sister.
It was soon after that, that she became your emergency contact, the woman the only one you trusted to handle an emergency.  
Thankfully for her, she had yet to receive a call concerning your health, unfortunately, this was the day everything changed.  
The second she’d hung up with the receptionist she immediately called the first woman who came to mind, her longtime friend and teammate Kelley O’Hara, who she knew was in Seattle with Emily Sonnett.  
“Hey Al, what’s--”  
“Did you know Y/N was in the hospital?” Alex cuts her off, noting the hitch in Kelley’s breath.  
“N-N-no, what happened?!” She asks anxiously, her voice quivering, her distress alerting the blonde who’d just made her way back from the bedroom and into the living room.  
“What’s wrong?” She asks, Kelley waving a dismissive hand in her direction, the defender listening intently to the woman on the other end of the phone.  
Without warning, Kelley leaps to her feet before rushing towards the door, stuffing her feet in her shoes before grabbing her jacket, the anchor holding her into place being Emily Sonnett, the woman’s hands resting on her back.  
“Kel, what’s wrong?” She asks nervously, the woman turning towards her, her brown orbs wide.  
“Y/N’s in the hospital, we have to go.”  
And with that Emily too begins rushing to grab her things, the pair slamming the apartment door shut behind them as they rush to UV Medical Center, and to your side. 
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Despite the fact that UV Medical Center was MASSIVE it didn’t take them long at all to find where you were, Kelley rattling off what Alex had relayed to her on the car ride to the hospital.  
You’d gone under the knife for ankle surgery over 5 hours ago, the extent of the injury you’d entered surgery for becoming much more prominent the deeper the doctor’s dug beneath your skin, which eventually resulted in a call to your emergency contact, that being, Alex Morgan.  
“While we’re here, we’re getting added to the Emergency Contact list.” Kelley had mumbled as they rushed through the hospital towards the waiting area outside of the surgery suite you were currently located in.  
Seemingly, the receptionist knew who they were, considering the second they spoke their names, she’d waved someone over, that someone leading them out of the waiting room towards a nearby elevator.  
“The surgery went on longer than we expected, there was more damage to the ankle than we anticipated.” He explains as the elevator doors slide shut.  
“Is she awake?” Emily asks, the man shaking his head.  
“We had to increase the amount of anesthesia we used, so we’re having a hard time getting her to wake up.”  
Kelley turns to Emily nervously; the nervousness Kelley is feeling conveyed right back at her from Emily’s hazel orbs.  
“Do you know how long it’ll take for her to wake up?” Kelley asks, her fingers tangling with Emily’s, the blonde giving her hand a squeeze.  
“We don’t know.”  
The second the elevator door opens the man is leading them down the hall and into a nearby room, that turns out to be a secluded waiting room, offering the pair privacy.  
“We’ll inform you immediately when she wakes up and leaves the recovery room.” He smiles softly, leaving the pair in the empty room, a TV hanging in the corner playing softly as the pair sit side by side on a small couch.  
"Do you think she’ll be okay?” Emily whispers, resting her head on Kelley’s shoulder, the woman taking her hand, giving it a squeeze.  
“She will be.” She whispers, unwilling to put her anxiety and worriedness into words, choosing to remain hopeful for the sake of the blonde beside her.  
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As the time ticked away, the anxiety and fear within both women began to grow, and after an hour had passed, that anxiety was near teeming over, that was until the door clicked open softly, the man from earlier giving them a small smile.  
“Ms. Y/L/N is in her room; I’ll take you to her.” He smiles, the pair jumping to their feet and rushing down the hall behind him.  
“She may be in and out, she’ll DEFINITELY be groggy thanks to her pain medication, but she’ll be back to herself in no time.”  
It doesn’t take long for the pair to be ushered into a room, the two immediately zeroing in on your ankle, which hangs well above you, your ankle wrapped tightly in bandages.  
Kelley glances at Emily, seeing her own concern written on her face, the two slowly making their way hand in hand to your bedside.  
A soft whine draws their attention to your face, your face which is currently scrunched up as you tiredly survey your surroundings before your eyes again flutter shut.  
Silently, the doctor makes his way out of the room, the door clicking shut softly behind him, the three of you now left in complete silence.  
You hum, turning towards the two, your eyes remaining shut before you peek between your eyelids. 
“They must’ve really given me the good shit if I’m hallucinating.” Your tired eyes darting from Kelley to Emily and back.  
“I’ll call and tell you guys later.” You whisper tiredly, your eyes fluttering back shut.  
“You don’t have to tell us anything Y/N, we’re right here.” Emily says, giving your hand a squeeze.  
“Alex called us.” Kelley says, shaking her head when you start to sit up.  
“Well, I better call her back then.” You grumble, glancing around the room, your eyes still shut as you search for your phone.  
“Sit still Y/N.” Kelley whispers, placing her hand on your shoulder to hold you in place.  
“But I have to call Alex, she called me.” You mumble, completely unaware that the woman had indeed NOT called you.  
“No Y/N, she called us.” Emily says, unable to bite back a smile when you turn to her in confusion.  
“She called me, she didn’t call you, you’re not real.” You slur, the older defender on the opposite side of the bed cupping your cheek.  
“But we are real.”  
You shake your head.  
“No, Kelley and Emily are on holiday together, because they love each other, not me, they wouldn’t come visit me.”  
Kelley and Emily share a glance, Emily tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.  
“What do you mean Y/N?” She asks softly and you growl.  
“Just what I said, they don’t love me, not like I love them.”  
The pair stiffen, hearts stalling in their chests as the stare at one another in not only shock, but elation.
“What do-- 
Kelley’s cut off by a loud snore, the pair turning their attention back to you, realizing you’re again fast asleep.  
Kelley gently caresses your cheek as Emily runs her fingers through your hair.  
“Looks like we have a lot to talk about when you wake up, huh?” She whispers, ducking down to kiss your temple, Emily following suit moments later.
The blonde reaches across the bed, covering Kelley’s hand with her own, the pair sharing soft smiles before turning back to your sleeping form.  
It didn’t take a genius to see that Kelley O’Hara and Emily Sonnett were absolutely smitten with Y/N Y/L/N, the moment they met.  
The pair had been fearful when it came to their feelings for you, fearful it may end their relationship, but when they came to the realization that they both felt the same way about you, both had attempted to pursue you, something you were unfortunately not aware of.  
However, with the sudden realization that you too felt the same, they knew everything was about to change.  
“Do you think she meant it?” Emily whispers and Kelley smiles, glancing across the room at your sleeping form.  
“I think she did, high mouths speak sober thoughts. I guess we’ll just have to ask her when she wakes up.” Kelley smiles, turning abruptly towards Emily when she sniffles.  
“What if she didn’t mean it?” She asks, voice barely above a whisper.  
Kelley cups her cheeks, resting for forehead against the younger woman’s before she presses a kiss to her lips.  
“We’ll just cross that bridge if we come to it, okay?” She whispers, and Emily nods, the blonde unable to bite back a smile when Kelley kisses the tip of her nose.  
“Okay.”  
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It’s well into the afternoon that you begin to stir, pulling Kelley and Emily’s attention away from one another and onto you, the two leaning forwards in their seats, which they’d taken residence in beside your bed.  
Your eyes crack open, your teeth clenching in pain, the overhead lights making your head throb.  
Despite that, you keep them open, Y/E/C orbs darting from Kelley, to Emily and back.  
“Wh-What are you guys doing here?” You ask, your voice rough and raw.  
Kelley grabs a nearby cup and holds in to your lips, letting you take a greedy sip before she speaks.  
“Alex called us.”  
Your brows furrow.  
“Alex?”  
Kelley nods.  
“The hospital called her, they found more damage to your ankle then they first thought, they wanted permission to continue the surgery.”  
You hum, glancing sadly at your ankle, which is still hanging high off the bed.  
“Looks like you’re going to have a lot of down time.” Emily smiles sadly, caressing the back of your hand, causing your cheeks to flush.  
“Yeahhhh...” You sigh, leaning back, your eyes fluttering shut as your head rests against the pillow behind you.  
“Why didn’t you tell us Y/N?” Kelley asks and you sigh.  
“I didn’t want you guys to worry, I knew you planned on spending the holidays together, and I didn’t want to ruin it.”  
Emily scoffs.  
“You could NEVER ruin our holiday, honestly, we were going to come see you anyway.”  
Kelley’s hand rests on top of yours and Emily’s.  
“We really wanted you to be a part of it.”  
Your eyes double in size, your heart skipping a beat in your chest as you glance down at your joined hands, your cheeks flushing.  
“You had some things to say when we got here...” Kelley starts, and your brows furrow.  
“I-I did?” You stammer and she nods.  
“You did.”  
You swallow roughly, your heart racing wildly in your chest, the thought you may have confessed your feelings making your palms go clammy.  
“Wh-Wh-What did I say?” You stutter, eyeing your blankets nervously.  
“Well, you didn’t think we were real.” Emily smiles and you chuckle, shaking your head.  
“What else did I do?” You ask Emily and Kelley sharing a glance, which goes unnoticed by you.  
Kelley clears her throat.  
“You said we didn’t love you.” She whispers, your head snapping upwards, your eyes locking with her dark brown orbs.  
“Wh-What...?” You stutter, sliding your hand out from beneath there’s only for Kelley to catch your hand before you can rest it in your lap.  
“You said we didn’t love you, like you loved us.”  
You mouth falls open, your eyes darting between the two women as your cheeks redden, the tips of your ears beginning to burn as your gaze falls to your lap, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes.  
“I-I-I'm so sorry... Y-You weren’t supposed to find out... I-I-I... I mean...” You mumble, unable to look at the two women.  
Unbeknownst to you, Kelley glances at Emily, who nods, the woman cupping your cheek before turning you towards her, your eyes glassy as they meet her brown orbs.  
“I don’t know where you got that idea.” She whispers, your eyes widening dramatically when Emily glances at Kelley.  
“What idea?” You ask, your voice quivering, Kelley tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.  
“The idea that we don’t love you like we love each other.” 
Your heart stalls in your chest, your eyes darting from brown orbs, to hazel orbs and back, your breath hitching when Kelley’s brown orbs drop to your lips, her tongue running along her lips before she begins leaning in.  
Your breath catches in your throat, the thought that this may still be a hallucination still prominent in your mind, that is until Kelley’s lips meet yours for the first time, her hands gently cupping your cheeks.  
All thoughts of this being a hallucination leave your mind as the woman kisses you softly, your bottom lip trapped between hers as the two of you kiss, parting with much reluctance.  
Kelley’s forehead rests against yours the woman smiling softly.  
Moments later she’s pulling away, her forehead being replaced by Emily’s her hazel orbs locking with yours as she leans in, her eyes fluttering shut as her lips too, meet yours.  
You cup her cheek boldly, your fingers tangling in her hair as you kiss, the woman sighing against your lips.  
Again, you part, the blonde pulling back, only to turn your head, kissing your temple softly, the older of the pair resting her head against your own as well.  
“So, what do you think now?” Kelley whispers and you chuckle.  
“I’m thinking I REALLY hope I’m not still hallucinating.”  
Kelley chuckles as Emily giggles, their laughter contagious despite the pain you’re currently feeling.  
"How can we convince you that this is real?” Kelley asks and you grin.  
“I mean, a few more kisses might help.” You shrug, unable to bite back a grin.  
Kelley and Emily share a glance, the two grinning before Kelley leans back in.  
“I think that can be arranged.”  
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i owe everyone a smol collection and commentary to wips/scraps i did before, during and after the fime i went into ur average cliche hollywood cringe emo phase
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^^ THIS. oh my god, where do i even start about this.
MY GOSH this was like, the last thing i did b4 i fully succumbed to burn out as a whole LMAO
i made this becoz i got inspired by marc brunet doing yoneyama mai’s style vid that passed by my feed as i scrolled through hoards wanting even a single dose of motivation to prevent what i knew was an upcoming artblock.
and y’know me, i HEART yoneyama sm. so seeing that was my absolutely yumyum cup of tea—temporarily 😭
u see, EVERYTHING WAS GOING SO WELL⁉️ until i reached my limit at (unsurprisingly) hair shading.
needless to say, this was scrapped becaz—sure, the idea was overall wonderful—but the way i did the blue moon weed flower and the lighting was just NOT it for me at all. nuh uh (i essentially went through a major sob story era after this BUT i convinced myself it was just a phase—and guess what? IT WAS!! showed myself i own me n i do me 🗣️ WHOS THE ALPHA⁉️😈)
(..i aint ever physically, mentally, emotionally nor spiritually recovering from typing that.^)
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^basically, after struggling to find myself for a while, i soon fortunately managed to get back to it in the slightest!;) andddd so, recently, i alas decided to do something just for me.
no more frieren fridays(+apothecary dairies) were honestly hella extra upsetting when it happened during an existential crisis moment. but hey, i got to finally draw some characs i rlly love!
these are some 30 min warmups to both challenge and to have fun myself considering its been quite some time since ive picked up my pencil and done smth worth my while.
personally content with this. moreover, it genuinely helped a lot for me to start drawing stuff again;)
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^now a quick sketch i did with a palette that was somewhat out of my comfort zone.
if you’d notice, i usually use pastel colors when i do things—which i realized as i reminisced my journey and the friends we made along the wa-
in short this was a lil tryout i didto NOT do’at 💪
nothing much to say here other than that this is my forgotten genshin oc whom is now practically a test dummy for me to use whenever i have to experiment colors bcuz she doesn’t have an official one (yet…jk thats never happening sux to be her 😂🤣)
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^notbing much I've got to complain about here
it's literally just a mulihaohao art style study
with ri as stelle lmao
i merely got too lazy to get it done
will prob finish....ext year-
..last but DEFO the least, a hu tao with miku fit sketch i ditched
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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 10 months
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We bleed tonight IV
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Previous chapter
a/n well I return from the dead to give you the last and final chapter of this unexpected series. What a journey it has been huh...
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Adapting to Day Court was quite a challenge. The months passed, but you felt nothing but an imposter. You knew you were safe, but no matter what you did, you just felt off. Afraid that the peace and quiet would be ripped away from you any minute. Still shivering at the sound of footsteps and at the shadows draping over corners of the room.
Helion, as much as he tried, didn't feel like a father to you. You appreciated that he never pushed it. Nor did he expect either of you to call him father. He was attentive and always showed up for all the meals. There was no forced bonding. If the conversation didn't flow, Helion never pushed it. Yet you had caught his hopeful eyes more than once. Watched him lean in and stagger back out of a hug. He yearned to have his kids back, but time had worked against him.
Helion talked endlessly about your mother. Madelain was a part of the conversation almost always, and it didn't surprise you, considering that he, Eris, and Lucien had been working on getting her out of Autumn. And back to where she always belonged: in her mate's arms. It was fascinating hearing Helion talk of her as if she were everything. As if all those years apart had done nothing but ignite more love between them. And you truly couldn't help but wonder if that's what a true bond felt like. Something that can't be ripped apart no matter what. No matter the distance. No matter the anger. Wrong choices. Pain caused. Always there. Always bounding two souls.
Your body hit a firm muscle wall, causing you to quickly draw your head up. "You're distracted, my lady", the familiar voice said, holding onto your hands to steady you. "My apologies. Head's all over…", You moved your hands quickly over your face, gathering your thoughts. Bringing yourself back to reality. The male smiled; his long black hair frown into a messy bun, and a smile painted his lips. "Could I offer you a walk through the gardens? Fresh air might help", he said gently, his hand suddenly moving to twist your curly hair around his fingers. Your face flushed crimson as you only found yourself nodding.
Arlo, one of the scholars who lived under Helion's protection made it all that much more bearable. You had been slumped in the library for over a week by then. Trying to distract yourself from all the chaos. The yarning in your soul. You would flip open a book. But the page wouldn't turn for hours. Unable to concentrate on anything but the voices in your head. "Pick a book, and I'll tell you what's troubling you", he had said then. Mother, did your heart skip a beat when you saw him for the first time? He was truly a handsome man. Strongly built. And with that mass of muscle, you would never even suspect him of being so soft. But even his moves were laced with a thread of gentleness. That softness that simply embraced you.
Arlo gave you a glimpse of what you wanted the most. Satisfied that longing for being no one again. Not a Vanserra anything but that. A chance for freedom once more. Nothing that promised the same highs or brought you the same lows. No, because he wasn't the man that you were chasing. Wasn't it the soul that your whole existence cried out for at night. Even with him moving between his legs and your back pressed against one of the statues in your father's gardens, you couldn't help but picture Azriel there, and you hated it. Hated that you couldn't escape the shadow singer.
Hated that the highs wore off faster than you would have liked. Because Arlo was so sweet, Mother knew how kind and caring he was, but the light he bore blinded you. It was too perfect. Too smooth. It made your damaged parts ache because you were nothing but an imperfection next to him. And that's what weighed on you. The darkness. The darkness that lingered, the darkness that was a part of you. A part that you couldn't rip out. It was there, and it was suffering between these perfect white walls and crystal chandeliers. Because this wasn't you. It had nothing that made you feel like yourself. It was a true state of static nothingness, and for that, you couldn't settle because it was leaving you lonely.
Night after night, Azriel woke up drenched in sweat. Night after night, he saw you. He felt you. And it drove him crazy. He could swear he saw glimpses of your days. He saw you. He saw that you weren't alone. He felt the sadness that twisted you. He felt the pleasure that your body scoured into. Brought by another male. Making Azriel roar at the pain and suffering it brought him. What a strange thing the band was! As if it too was blaming Azriel. Torturing him on its behalf. He saw you smiling, but he knew that your smile no longer belonged to him. No, it was brought by the male, whom you looked at as if the whole world turned around him. You looked at Azriel like that once, and now… Now, he wished he could just rip his heart out.
"Uncle Az, Uncle Az, you came", Nyx messily flew into his uncle's arms, wrapping himself around his neck. Azriel caught the boy quickly, pressing him closer to his chest. Managing to draw out a tight smile. The boy looked over his uncle's shoulder and asked, "Where's Aunty, Y/N?", the pang in Azriel's heart twisted. He hoped you would show up. You loved Nyx and the boy, well, he was fascinated by you. "She…", Azriel trills off. He never even thought about this. He never thought about how he was going to tell the people who didn't know about what happened. How he would cover up the fact that you were no longer together. That you weren't together because of him. Because Azriel lost control over his emotions and hurt you. He was one of those men. Not any better than Beron himself.
"Is she playing hide and seek?", Nyx twisted in Azriel's arms, "I need to go protect the cake". The boy quickly padded away, and Azriel caught Feyre's eyes from across the room. She held the shadow singer's gaze until a shien of sadness painted over them, and she shook her head. You weren't coming. The empty chair looked almost jarring. So out of place. So empty.
"Could I?", Azriel goes back to one of the first diners you all had. He had caught onto your sleepy frame. You tried to stay awake so hard, keeping eye contact with Cassian, who was so deep into the story that he was telling. Until Azriel spoke, and you instantly turned to him, "Could you what?", you asked, "Hold you.. I mean…", Azriel quickly cleared his throat, "Would you like to lean against me? This doesn't look too comfortable". And it wasn't. Your hand was going numb, and your wrist ached. You smiled up at him shyly. Back then, a part of him was sure that you would reject him. But you didn't. You leaned right into him, arms crossed over his neck, as you pulled yourself closer to Azriel's chest. Now his arms were empty. Cold and truly discussed him.
"Are you busy?", you cracked the doors to Lucien's office slightly. The hours were late, and the chance of him being asleep was high; however, the dim lights from beneath the door left you hopeful. "No, come in", his smooth voice rang out. Lucien quickly put his pen down. All of his attention was now set on you. You loved that about him so much. Well, learned to love. That when you needed him, he was there fully. It wasn't just a pinch of attention. He was there. Always ready. Always willing.
"You should be sleeping, missy", Lucien stated, the corner of his lips tilting upward as you frowned. "Oh, don't you start parenting me around", you padded towards his chair, opting for the little ottoman that stood close by. "What's keeping you up?", the velvet sound of Lucien's voice pierced the silence once more. Your sad eyes hurt him too deeply. Hesitation filled your senses. You didn't talk much about the past. It felt as if it had all been blurred out and painted over. And you hoped you had managed to paint over your emotions, but Lucien leaned in to read you. And within a couple of months, you were an open book to him.
"Do you miss Velaris?", your voice was almost a whisper. Lucien knew that tonight would be hard. Hence, he too opted not to go to Nyx's birthday. Leaving you here seemed wrong. And he knew that no one else around the palace would understand the sorrows within you. "Not necessarily…", the fireling trailed off; however, you quickly specified, "You miss Elain?". Lucien froze for a second before a deep sigh left his lips. "I feel too sober for this kind of conversation", you chuckled. Yet it wasn't a happy chuckle; it carried worries and sadness. The almost bitter one left a tingling loneliness. "I miss her, yes. But not seeing her makes it easier in a way," Lucien replied. His eyes were now as distant as yours as he watched ahead of himself. Without a doubt he pictured Elain.
The silence surrounded you two. Draping the mystery of the unknown all over the office, you two let the pain you hid come back to the surface. However, the next words made you stagger, "Do you think of him?" It was almost funny how no one spoke Azriel's name around the place. It was always him—the man, that guy. Helion left him out of the court meetings that were held there. A part of you was thankful for that. Until you started missing his eyes. Hoping to see them. Hoping for at least a glimpse. Because your mind was so torn.
That was the man who showed you love first. Who saw you first. Who empowered you first. He gave you a voice when no one else listened. He made you his everything. And freefalling with him was the best thing that had happened to you. But then he was the one who ripped through your happiness. Stomped on it and shredded it to pieces. You tried to justify it. You did. And it was true, that Beron was to blame. He was the one who planted the seed of doubt, but…
"There are a lot of what-ifs in my head", you admitted, pulling your legs closer to your chest. Letting your dress pool all around you, "I try to drown them out but…", "The nagging voice doesn't stop?", you only nodded your head. His shoulder sank slightly because he understood. Lucien understood.
"It was like that with Jesminda", your eyes instantly grew wide, "You don't have to", you reassured him. Knowing full well the tragedy of the story. The loss. The pain. That twisted it. "It happened long ago; it's okay", Lucien smiled sadly, running his fingers through his hair. Allowing himself a moment of silence. "We had this one big fight, and we cut it all off. I said many things that I regretted, and so did she", you watched how his expression turned sadder with every word that he spoke. "I ended up not seeing her for months; pride was too big. Until I felt like I was going insane because all I could think of was her", and you did know because that was how you felt. Because it felt as if there was a growing ocean between you. One that spread and got deeper with every passing moment. And a part of you wanted it to grow, but then there was that small version of you that cupped the water with your raw hands, trying to make the void smaller.
"But that's how you know it's love", Your eyes shot up to look at Lucien, who had been watching you this whole time. You bit the inside of your cheek as the memory surfaced.
"Why are you being so sweet?", your fingers pushed through Azriel's messy hair, "Because I love you." Azriel watched you for a heartbeat. Your hopeful eyes had been glazed with a shine that glimmered in the morning sun. As if his words had just broken a curse. As if you had never imagined anyone saying those words to you. "I love you. All of you. Had for a while now", Azriel admitted right as your arms and legs wrapped around his strong torso, bringing him closer to you.
Your eyes welled up with tears, and you quickly turned your face to the side. Hating the fact that you were crying once again, "It sucks though…", you shook your head, brushing your fingers under your eyes quickly, "Because I'm starting to think that's not enough".
The wind rippled through your hair, and the skirt of your dress fluttered behind you. The sky was pitch black. The darkness soothed the pain, and the cool nibbles of wind made you feel more alive than ever before. The sound of the fast stream beneath you chimed more like a lullaby. With hands wrapped around you, let yourself feel the sorely missed sense of belonging. There was no light; only nightfall surrounds you.
Yet your eyes seem to have opened up on their own. And there it was. The image you feared the most. One you had never pictured before, and yet it resembled the worst fear in your life. Your heart skips a beat. Right there in front of you, stood the figure you could've identified no matter where you were. Either in the brightly lit room or the darkest corners of the Earth. You wouldn't need to see it to know. All you would have to do was feel.
"No", you said under your breath. The male stood at the edge of the cliff, shoulder-slumped, his head hanging low. He was done. He was simply done. There was no sense of life about him. A shell of a soul that has given up on everything. "Don't you dare", you said a bit louder, trying to cross the distance between the two of you. The hills now seemed impossible to cross. All the sharp edges seemed to intensify. Your hands slipped alongside your feet no matter what you did; no matter how hard you tried to crawl toward him, you simply couldn't.
"Azriel, don't you dare jump", you shouted at the top of your lungs, screeching as you watched him step closer and closer. Merciless waves crashed beneath him. He was muttering something under his breath, something so distant, and it felt impossible that you could hear him, but he was calling your name and muttering as a prayer, as a cry for help. You did the same, calling and calling to him, hoping to catch his attention. His eyes filled up with tears, as helplessness tore through you, and then he jumped. That was it; he was falling, and you couldn't do anything. The most painful scream escaped your lips as you washed his body and submerged it in the cold water.
"Azriel, Azriel", you roared, falling to your knees. "Azriel", your body jolted upward. Your hands clenched the sheets beneath your body, body soaked in sweat. Your breaths were shallow. They didn't seem to want it to linger in your lungs. And then you were up. Pulling the first thing over your body. You could feel your heart pumping in your throat. Those same angry tears were now streaming down your cheeks. You stilled for a moment. Closing your eyes and clenching your fist, you felt the now familiar sense of darkness surround you. You didn't know where to go. But you trusted your heart to get you where you needed to be.
"Azriel", you muttered your mantra as the spinning stopped. The familiar scent filled your senses, subsiding your anxiety, yet you knew that you were not going to rest until you saw him. "Y/N?", it was more of a question than anything else as he stepped out of the shadows as if you were just yet another of his hallucinations. Afraid to step any closer because he might just chase you away.
Here he stood. The male you haven't seen in months. He wasn't drowning. He wasn't at the bottom of Sidra. He hadn't jumped. You let out a shaky breath. "You…", you muttered, stepping closer to Azriel, eyes still lingering all around his frame. "You jumped…" Azriel frowned; equally as much concern now laced his features. "Jumped?" You nodded your head, still fighting for air. "I saw… you…", Azriel's hands pulled you closer to him. And his warmth poured into you. The shouting in your head died down. It's all settled. "It's just a bad dream, a nightmare", he said softly, pressing his lips to the crown of your head.
You pulled away ever so slightly so you could see him. Look at him. Watch him say, "Your eyes…", you almost gasped when you noticed the dark circles beneath them and the slightly red tinge all around. "Sleep is not on my side as of lately", he chuckled slightly, but you could feel the pain there. That same pain that you've been sharing for months now. Had he been aware all this time? Had he looked after himself at all? "Don't cry, please, love", Azriel gently wiped away the tears that you didn't even know were streaming down your cheeks once more, "I caused you enough pain". Yet you shook your head at his words, reaching up to cup his face, the need to pull him closer awakening inside you. A need to feel him almost like your skin.
"Azriel, I've been thinking…", but you never got to finish as Azriel stepped back, pulling you away from his embrace. Yet still clasping your hands, he whispered, "Don't…", and you could hear the shaking in his voice, "Don't forgive me". A sob slips past your lips as you watch him. Watched as Azriel fought the sting in his eyes. How he tried to steady himself but failed. "Truth be told, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't think I was alive until you came into my life", he continued, now allowing his thoughts to flow. Followed by the touch that stung him. Because he knew it was one of the last. That he couldn't bask in it. That he couldn't let himself enjoy the warmth of your skin. Because you would fade away eventually.
"And mother, did I fear every day that you would disappear. That I would have to find out what living without you feels like", a cry slipped past his lips. "Az…", you muttered, biting your wobbly lip, but he shook his head. "I just want you to know a few things", the shadow singer cupped your cheek, and you leaned into it. Lean into the touch that your body has been craving this whole time. "I'm sorry; I'm so sorry for what I did, and believe me. Even on my dying bed, I'll be cursing myself for it", he muttered, pressing his forehead to yours as your nails dug into his shoulders, "And I love you. I love you so much". You didn't trust your words, so you never gave him an answer. And he never got to know that a small part of you forgave him. That in the future, your paths may cross, and maybe just maybe love will be the only emotion there. That it was now. That your heart beats for him and him only.
And no, this love wasn't perfect. But neither were you two. Perfect wasn't a thing that could exist in this world. Perfection belonged in museums and exhibitions but not in day-to-day life. And maybe letting yourself bleed for the night in each other's arms was better than not bleeding at all. And maybe ripping that golden thread from each other's souls was the best thing you could've done for one another that night.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
All acotar writing taglist: @brekkershadowsinger @cityofidek @baebeepeach @lucyysthings @hideing @urfavbrunettebish @historygeekqueen @marina468 @courtofjurdan @bubybubsters
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sleepy-vix · 1 month
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journal/braindump 26/3/24
i hope life gets better soon. school is so miserable and weird and i just constantly feel like my physical shape is blurred and i'm but a a faceless entity drifting through the crowded and sweaty halls. when i speak to people it feels like i have to physically force myself to and i'm always so conscious of the fact that i would really love it if i were alone and not speaking to anybody at all.
i don't feel confident in myself and i feel like this year has passed by way too fast and i feel like just attempting to live feels like a bunch of cold sand is piled in my hands, and like sand does, it slips easily through my fingers and all i can do is watch. i feel so stupid and so naive all the damn time
for a while i had believed that everything would be okay, and then for a while after that i believed that i should kill myself. i'm okay now, i still feel very unsettled and it's like i'm not really me but i feel fine enough to function and i feel fine enough to live and wish to keep on living
i wish to keep on living
tomorrow i will wake up early and i will make myself coffee and i will sit down and read (i've had reading block for 2 days- which seems short but its annoying for me bc i really really want to read but i feel too restless and distracted to). i'll try to be nice to myself and protect my peace really hard and go on walks or something
i find that watching youtube videos where people just sit and talk, or rearrange their house and books, is really calming to me. i can't wait to just sit in front of the tv with a cup of matcha and a box of chocolates and just watching people talk, or watch all the movies ive been meaning to watch for sooo long
autumn is rolling around, and i'm infinitely greatful that it is because i always feel so inspired during this season. autumn makes me want to read, it makes me want to watch more films and eat more food and drink warm drinks that make me feel okay inside.
i also hope to pick up journalling again, but i'm not sure if i will because i don't have my own printer for images and idk what to journal but i have recently tried to just draw pictures- ive recently written journal pages on what i want to read, and also an "about me" page, and hand drew pictures. it's nice, but it doesn't give the same effect as full out journalling (with stickers, images, tape, etc... sigh.). i hope i journal more this holiday nonetheless.
i also hope to read without feeling so much pressure. i usually have no problem with reading whatever i want to read, as i like to think of myself as somebody who isnt easily influenced by other people's views (eg. if someone told me i have to read a certain book, i will consider it but i wont read it unless i want to) , but lately i've been thinking of all the books i want to read this holiday (for me i have autumn break in one week- and autumn break lasts for 2 weeks) and as u can imagine, it is very stressful bc ive somehow fallen into the mindset that i must read ALL of those books before next term or else.
fyi the books comprise of
- the complete collection of jane austen
- the complete collection of sherlock holmes
- the poppy war
- the iliad
- hamlet
- the metamorphosis
soo yeah... especially the first two points are stressing me out haha... im starting the poppy war now but im a little nervous bc ppl keep saying that its VERY gory??? and i usually dont care abt such things but lately my nerves and emotions have been such a wreck that i dont trust myself to read it in a calm manner
i'll try to break free of this toxic reader mindset tho! it would be nice if i could talk to people abt books, so it feels like im engaging with my hobby while not actually having to do the hobby, but nobody ik irl will want to talk abt books as i do
MAN i so badly want to rant abt booktok (ok actually i wont expand on this bc its a very sore point for me in the sense that i might get worked up over it and then feel shit afterwards for displaying sm emotion)
anywaysss next topic
ummm i get my maths result back on thursday and im so fucking scared bc i know i messed up bad for a few questions but im not sure if it was enough to drop me down to a b... idk i REALLY REALLY WANT AN A. like istg my whole self esteem for until the next exams roll around is goijg to be based off my maths result.. fuck im so emotionally immature its laughable
ummm also i have literature class tmr and i love lit class but we have to watch fucking "shes the man" and im sorry but i hate that movie so so much (ive never watched it before but we watched half of it last lesson and it was soo annoying). ughh why is my eng teacher making us watch this 😭😭
also my eng teacher is very blunt and therefore very interesting to talk to so ive been wanting to ask him abt books hes read lately but i CANT bc we have to watch thats tupid fucking movie and also he has to mark papers :( but also like hes the only intellectually stimulating person ik irl so what am i meant to do with all of my buzzing book thoughts ughh (rhetorical question. pls dont answer) :(
hmm what else is there to say
oh yeah last night i had a dream tjat i got a B+ for english and that was... it was like a nightmare im not even kidding. it was such a vivid dream too- everybody else got an A meanwhile i got a B+ (very close to an A) and i was just absolutely shocked and i desperately begged my teacher to give me some extra credit work so i can bump it up to an A-... yeah...
oh but also back to me wanting to have a better life- i think i'll take myself to the thrift more and go out with my friend (yes, singular. theres only one friend that i like hanging out with outside of school 💀) atleast once this holiday... thats what teen girls my age do, right??? haha...
also i want to watch ladybird and the perks of being a wallflower and rewatch little women and dead poets society !
i also might reread solitaire but aghh that makes me stressed out abt reading again... fuck. maybe i should just take a break from reading omfg
i cant wait to wake up early tomorrow and drink coffee though! :)
also i will make more spotify playlists (it makes me rlly happy to) and MAYBE even try cooking????????????? man idfk im desperate okay? feeling suicidal is not fun and i dont want to feel like that again this year. i cant afford thay bc im meant to be an academic weapon :( (lol who am i kidding? im more like an academic victim)
also maybe i will just text my friends more in general. it stresses me out and makes me feel icky but the other day, i had a nice and fun and lighthearted texting convo with one of my class friends and it made me realise that i should probably text people more ...
lol
anyways i think thats all? i think ive gotten everything off my chest for now. i liked doing this actually. maybe i'll do it more often idk 💀💀
hope u guys have a good day 🙏 i dont actually expect anyone to read this but if you did, i hope you have a good day TIMES TWO!
no refunds :}
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alicemain0541 · 4 months
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hello, mechanisms enjoyer. who is your favourite mechanism. what is your favourite album. what is your favourite song. what is your favourite photo. do you have a favourite live recording.
I have already been asked lol but im happy to answer again!
I dont have a favourite mech but here’s some random facts. I was obsessed with ts when I first saw them and I spent like four months drawing nothing but it. I got into the mechs through Tma and jonny and he is such a bastard I love him (looking back on my dash you’ll see the dehumanisation of jonny in art I blog). The only mech ive cosplayed is raph in both her more humanly form and her more birdy form. Again ashes was someone I was already familiar with because of frank being in Tma (same with Jess and Jonny) and id heard about Tim through rqg mentions etc. I wish I had more to say about ivy, nastya, Marius, Brian etc but tbh I just dont. I love them but dont know much about them outside of the mechs and never felt quite so drawn to them.
My favourite album again isnt just one. Id say of the main studio albums its a tossup between tbi and udad. Again I love them all but I listen to those the most. Ttbt 1&2 are also constantly playing (lost in the cosmos was my top song in my wrapped) and I listen to them probably the same amount. Also Frankenstein oml I love you mwah im so normal about it and im totally not an English nerd studying classic literature at college😅😅😅.
I feel like favourite song kinda falls into the same vein as the last question. While i cant actually pick my top 5 (in my wrapped) were lost in the cosmos, Loki, ties that bind, underworld blues and sirens so think of that what you will. I said this last time but I have a chronically short attention span so often ttbt songs are the best way to get my fix without having to listen to a whole album. Im sorry mechs purists but most of the time i dont listen in order cause who can be asked with that.
I dont actually have a favourite photo but I’ll add a bunch of my widgets from my phone because ofc I had to make my Home Screen mech based. (Art by @reegis)
In regards to live performances I guess dttm. Its the first live performance I watched thats actually mechs. I love lashings a “totally normal amount” but considering thats more Carmilla era idk if it counts. Either way its those two and I know some of yall are doing amazing work cleaning up the audio and getting transcripts made so send them my way if you want id love to see them.
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neerons · 12 days
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hey neerons! ive been following you for a while and i would like to take a moment to express my gratitude towards your dedication to the fandom (kazuomi especially 😋) My question to you is, what music artists (or just the genre if you cant think of anyone particular) do you think the guys (and mc ofc) from masquerade kiss would listen to? Thank you again!
Hey anon! Thank you very much for your kind words and for following me for some time now! That means a lot ❤
What music artists/genre would the MK characters listen to?
Kei Soejima
This is a bit easier for me to notice it from his route but Kei is heavily tied to classical music overall, whether it’s him who chose the music or someone else. Considering his upbringing and culture it also makes sense that he would probably like it. He listens to religious songs as well, such as Ave Maria. Now I’m not sure if he actually likes religious songs but it must at least be nostalgic for him.
He has also been playing “Paganini’s 24 Caprices” on the violin in his Best vs First story. He attends many social events where such musics can be heard since he’s a noble. And during Caleb’s dinner trap, both Kei and MC fell asleep while a classical music was playing in the background, back in his Sacrificial Lover story.
I can see Kei listening to such music and appreciate it, and for me classical music acts as a sort of leitmotiv in his story
Kazuomi Shido
I think Kazuomi would appreciate any type of music that is glamorous or epic, such as musics that come from Hollywood movies. He doesn’t like being bored and loves stimulation, and while he can appreciate art in its many forms, ballads don’t seem to be his favorite thing. It can be seen in Yuzuru’s S1 when it’s Yuzuru’s turn to host the Masquerade restaurant’s events. Yuzuru chose a romantic ballad, and Kazuomi comments about how it lacks some sort of excitement and that he would have chosen something else.
When I think about Kazuomi, I’m thinking of how enticing and extravagant he is. He draws people in, through his charisma and attractiveness. I also think about how much he likes burlesque shows. I immediately would pick a sort of jazzy genre for him. I’m not too knowledgeable about the names of music genres, but after some research I think he would really be into Cabaret music, Swing and Jazz, and maybe Electro Swing as well.
Anything theatrical, sexy, mesmerizing, a bit epic and fun would probably fit his tastes. I’m not sure what genre the 2 romantic soundtracks of MK fit into, but they embody perfectly Kazuomi’s charm in my opinion
Yuzuru Shiba
As mentioned earlier, Yuzu chose a ballad in his S1 when it was his turn to host the party at Masquerade. It seems he likes this type of music, as when MC said how beautiful the performance was, the other guys commented how perfect they were for each other if MC can appreciate something Yuzu chose himself according to his own tastes.
Considering that he grew up for some time in Italy, it could be that he enjoys some genres that have an Italian influence as well, such as any music with a melodic and emotive vibe to it.
I can see Yuzu enjoying classical music like Kei as well, especially because when he was younger, he created a phonograph for Jun so she could listen to her collection of classical records. It doesn’t mean Yuzu himself is interested in classical music, but it wouldn’t be odd if it were the case
Seiichi Setoyanagi (Boss)
This time it’s not easy for me to picture a specific type of musical genre when it comes to Seiichi. I’m sure that as a part of his job, he must be at least a bit knowledgeable about the genres if he ever needs to create an alias with certain tastes, or if it’s his alias’ profession to work with music. However as an individual, I think he would be the type to prefer silence or the sounds of nature over any particular music.
I can’t remember any moment where there is a specific genre being mentioned for him or where he listens to anything. He seems to enjoy his peace and quiet when he’s not working due to his job, so I can picture him appreciating the sound of his environment. Sounds of crickets, tree branches in the wind, rain, etc…
Given his career, it wouldn’t be unlikely that compared to most people, silence is the most effective sound for him to relax
Masquerade Kiss MC
She is quite the romantic at heart, and finds Yuzu’s ballad during his S1 beautiful. She also likes the Mission Impossible movies so it could be that she likes epic musics as well. On a compatibility level, she is similar to Kazuomi when it comes to liking Broadway shows and their interest in movies. However, she’s more into romantic French films rather than American ones compared to him, so I’d say she likes romantic, and maybe even sensual songs.
Romantic ballads might be more of her thing. Just like the Boss, she must be quite knowledgeable about music enough for her to be able to create an alias, or maybe because she’s just into it, because in Kei’s route, she recognizes instantly the music that Kei plays on the violin. She also recognizes the long classical music played in Caleb’s residence in Sacrificial Lover.
I can’t be sure if she likes classical music as well, but I think any of them could enjoy it to some extent. In my opinion, anything that sets a romantic, heartfelt and emotive mood would be her type
On a side note, MC reminds me of the songs “Moonlight” by Kali Uchis, or the instrumental version of “Nothing Burns Like the Cold” by Snoh Aelegra when she’s in her seductive agent mode ♥️💋
Thank you for the ask!
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qumiiiquinnquin · 5 days
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i feel like its better without my art out there, my ideas presented in visual form on a canvas. i feel like my art does nothing or does not leave impressions. i know thats not true because people compliment my art, and i should be grateful enough or that to not want to quit as badly as ive wanted to for several years. but others have much better ideas and have more creative ways of presenting it. others can actually get far with their art. they have a supportive circle that wants them to keep creating above and beyond. i have a lot to improve on, but the work it will take to improve is not my problem. its not really feeling like im never improving, though ive whined about that too. its just more, why am i creating? its okay to create simply for the sake of creating, its even okay to create for no particular reason. maybe its your reason to live. but what if you hate it? what keeps you going? what if you dont think you're good enough, what is the point in keeping this canvas open and continue working on this drawing? is it worth continuing to create? then what will you do without your passion?
i haven't completely given up yet because its admittedly difficult. i can despise my art but i often do come around or get myself to stop comparing myself to others or encourage myself enough that people like what i do - it does not have to be perfect or up to par with other people's talents. being a creative doesn't mean setting an unreachable bar for yourself. creating isnt a competition. even if i have such intense moments of hate that ive come close to deleting files and art programs and setting my physical art on fire, they do pass and im fine and open a canvas again. but its the fact that ive been feeling like this for years and overall do not like my art, even if i have improved and recognize that improvement. its something to be proud of for sure, and oftentimes i am. but i notice im becoming so unhappy with anything made by me that im even considering giving up, and feel so close to actually committing to it. ive been extremely upset with my art before, only in 2019 or 2020 did the thought of destroying my art start to form and become reoccurring. but if i did something like that, my plan wasn't to completely stop and give up. i wouldve picked up a pencil again several years later and give it another go. but im contemplating giving up completely and not doing it again at all now.
before i deactivate any of my accounts in the future for various reasons, my plan is to upload all of my works in progress. i want people to do what they want with them. i dont care what. i dont have any respect for my art anymore.
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wreckedhoney · 2 months
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A Killer Frequency Major Arcana Match-up! bc sometimes it's fun to match characters & setpieces from a story with the major arcana from the tarot deck. But some picks are better than others lol, I bolded the ones I like best. Feel free to share what/who you'd match with which, or what picks here stand out! Shared a bit of this on discord, so hello to anyone seeing this again! I added more since :)
0. The Fool - Jimmy. Curiosity, Optimism, Journeys, Trust (both deserved & misplaced), Above the opinions of others. Upside down: Agency, Responsibility, Don’t catastrophize/overthink.
I. The Magician - Carrie. Creativity, Invention, Transformative process, Art, Wisdom, Purity. Upside down: Ineffective old habits, Learn new tricks, Hard work, Change.
II. The High Priestess - KFAM Radio station. Welcoming, Mysterious, Fertile, Secrets, Clarity, Good surprises, Opportunity. Upside down: Actions over wishful thinking.
III. The Empress - Brian Ponty. Peace/Abundance, Love/Luxury. Upside down: Trouble in paradise, Collect yourself.
IV. The Emperor - John Hedges. Power/Authority, Responsibility, Self control, Self mastery. Upside down: Need for flexibility over rigidness.
V. The Hierophant - Forrest Nash. Wisdom, Rules, Choosing one’s battles, Conformity. Upside down: Independent paths/Isolation.
VI. The Lovers - George&Marie. Choices, Guided or controlled by emotions, Passion. Upside down: Emotional coldness, Hibernation, Complacency.
VII. The Chariot - 189.16, The Scream. Control over situations, Freedom, Risk of working oneself out of a good thing. Upside down: Moving forward.
VIII. Strength - Leslie Harper. Stamina, Perseverance. Upside down: Draw on hidden strengths, Reflect on strengths one forgets they have.
IX. The Hermit - Clive Elforth. Reflection, Soul searching, Learning by observation. Upside down: Consider sharing one’s wisdom with others.
X. Wheel of Fortune - Roller Ricky’s Roller Rink. Life is circular, Good times will come back, Keep working towards upsides. Upside down: Take a step back before things spin out of control.
XI. Justice - The Producer’s Booth. Fairness, Adherence to rules & consequences. Upside down: Karma for oneself also.
XII. The Hanged Man - Maurice Russell. Patience, Perspective over catastrophizing. Upside down: Patience is not always a virtue; act or retreat.
XIII. Death - George Barrow. Changes, Attempts to avoid conflict may be futile. Upside down: Pointless to resist; may make things worse. Avoid conflict if possible.
XIV. Temperance - Plunker/The Frat. Self restraint, Moderation, Satisfaction with balance, Going with the flow, Patience. Upside down: Reflect on life’s imbalances, Be wary of impulsiveness.
XV. The Devil - Marie Campbell. Base desires, Bound to self-destruction, Prone to temptation/beguiling, Potential to break free but unwilling. Upside down: Detach from self-destruction.
XVI. The Tower - Elis Point/Whistling Point. Sudden changes & chaos, Powerlessness, Humbleness and Brevity. Upside down: Little to no way to avoid inevitable, but it will be okay eventually.
XVII. The Star - Roller Ricky. Transformation, Growth, Healing & forgiveness, Success, Carrying on. Upside down: Lack of guidance, Work to move things to one’s benefit.
XVIII. The Moon - Edward Marshall Mooney. Clarity past distractions, Ego/stubbornness, Dreams & Intuition followed through. Upside down: Anxieties and unhappiness, though it will also pass.
XIX. The Sun - Peggy Weaver. Optimism, Joy, Creativity, Potential for power. Upside down: Use powers wisely, Avoid unneeded conflict, Reach out to others.
XX. Judgement - The DJ Booth. Judge oneself, Examine choices & actions, Reflect on present and goals. Upside down: Avoid overthinking (especially details) as it may cloud judgement.
XXI. The World - Henry Barrow. Completion, Satisfaction. Upside down: Incomplete feelings, Reflect on what was missing.
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goatpaste · 1 year
Note
sbr gio content mayhaps please i beg you
ok fair warning i got a lil too excited about the concept of a dinopants giorno, then thought too hard about it and spent WAY too much time on this <33
and its basically all half ass ideas and designs im still not set 100% on...
BUT!!
Diego and Hot Pants in my rewrite where they travel together after the ringo roadagain fight onwards, and pick up Lucy as a traveling companion/guardians from the infiltration arc onwards. live at the end of SBR. Both make it out with injuries and for Diego this meant he had to take an early retirement from competitive horse riding. Man still loves his horses and treats them like his own family, but will no longer be able to participate in the thrill of the race.
Once Diegos up to snuff again, with some help from Hot Pants and Lucy's connections to her grandfather Steel's assets, they were able to keep Diego alive. Diego lives with draw backs that keep him more limited than he used to be.
Hot Pants and Diego who have both grown to care for on another and the companionship they grew together on their trip, stay by each others side. HP accompanies Dio to England to find his estranged father and get a bit of insight into.. well whatever he thought he was looking for.
HP and Diego then settle down and with some years they have their first child who HP names Giorno, and Diego gives them the last name Giovanna after his late mother.
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Giorno is a mischievous girl, and even with HP's stricter nature, she was a daddys girl. Absolutely spoiled rotten by Diego. She's a bit of a princess and acts like a know it all (and both annoyingly enough and creepy enough she's basically always right on the money). She tends to think of herself first but has a good heart, i picture her kinda a mixed balance on being like p5 Giorno and Trish. She has two younger siblings (who names are tbd but I'm picking them to be 6 and 8 years younger than Gio) and they were also spoiled but a lot better temperament than Gio was as she spent nearly 6 years the only kid in the house Diego focused his fatherly affection onto. However her siblings followed her around like ducklings. They simply adored her.
and in turn Dio loves her parents terribly and has been close to her aunt Lucy since she was young herself.
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After the death of her father and the development of her stand, Giorno has left home and hasnt spoken to her mother Hot Pants in years now. Her father Diego ended up passing away after complications with his old injuries finally caught up with him, and not long after she fully found herself in possession of a full stand ability she could control. (Named Born to be, Album by Melanie. Might change at a later date,, ways also considering Moondog the artist or Jig Saw Puzzle also by Melanie for names...)
Im still debating the exact ability for B2B, but i do picture it being a healer/mender/fixer kind of ability, and Giorno often feels a heavy weight that if they had just developed their stand just a bit sooner, they could have helped their dad. Iv been picturing her having a mending ability that's a bit like nut king call but with sewing where she can sew things together with a tough thread that can be pulled apart with force, but im still debating this and if i want more added to this or something totally different,,, still playin around with B2B's concept
She found herself unable to stay home where he father no longer would be there waiting for her. Her mother still had her siblings and all her friends around, surly the daughter who had the ability to save Hot Pant's husband but didnt wouldn't be missed?
Now Giorno acts like a total con man, they hustle shady goods, play shifty pop up card games on the street, their kinda just a rotten no good slum of the street now. just waiting for some big thing to fall in her lap and sent her on a quirky weird adventure that'll change the very core of who she is as a person and learning that maybe the things that happened to you, even bad are the very things that change and grow you and make you who you are.
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nyoomzz · 10 months
Note
Thanks for answering my ask about why I suddenly love BL and GL more than het romance....I'm grateful to know that there is someone who also knew how I feel....
Do you mind if I ask your top 5 (or top 7) favorite BL and your top 3 (or top 5) favorite GL? And why do you love them? Sorry if you already answered them....Thanks again....
hiii no problem! sorry this took a while to answer im always bad at choosing top picks so this time i just went with my favorites that i consider still haven't seen talked about that much :D
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(the titles with a star next to it are mature themes and/or has nsfw scenes, please don't read them if you're still below 18 years old)
yuri:
- *tsukiatte agete mo ii ka na (how do we relationship): i love how simply candid and honest it is at portraying messy relationships between not-quite-adults doing their best to grow. i really enjoy where the story is going because it's something you rarely see in manga!
- ohana holoholo: i wish there's more family-themed gl but im always happy we have this! it's painfully sincere and i love how we dive in into their lifes and see how they're involved with the bigger cast of characters
- shoujo manga protagonist x rival-san: a bit more of a lighthearted comedy, taking the standard trope of shoujo protagonist vs the love rival and putting a silly sapphic spin on it which is something that i absolutely need. its cute moments really shine through!
- yuri de naru ❤️ espoir (yuri espoir): my beloved that i can never shut up about. the cute artstyle takes you in a fun spin on meta commentary of yuri tropes only to slowly reveal that things might not be as sweet and happy as it seems... no one is doing it like them
- yuri to koe to kazo matoi: revolving around the feelings of women finding their place in the world, chasing for what they truly want. this is a bit of a spoiler but it centers around characters in the aromantic and asexual spectrum which makes it even more special to me!
bl:
- *iki dekinai no wa kimi no sei (breathless momentum): i love everything from the premise to how they grow to care about each other, it's hilarious and cute and their dynamic will always remain one of my favorites ever
- *tabun kore kara ai no hibi: the main theme about the joy and pain of creating just resonates so hard, the main characters' struggle portrays it very well and seeing the growth really made me happy!
- tonari ni: natsume ono's paneling and writing is just so special, there's this somber quality to it that absolutely draws me in. it complements very well the quiet yearning in the story
- *tenjite koi to iki: tbh this is just an excuse to talk about hayane dento's works, i always have a hard time choosing a favorite because they all have such great writing! i think about this one the most because of how melancholic it was paired with their beautiful storytelling
- boku no papa to papa no hanashi: ive read a lot of family-themed bl but this will always take the cake! the love this little family have for each other and how they grow together will always get to me
- *link and ring: just an absolutely loving relationship, you can see how much the main couple cares for each other it's just so sweet to read!
- achira kochira bokura: more slice of life than bl really and that's why it's so dear to me, it's a very natural depiction of two boys with opposite natures slowly being part of each other's lives. there's a sequel too!
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voidwritesstuff · 3 months
Text
Long Way To The Truth
Cw:Lucas has a paranoid spiral, killing off an npc,guns,mentions of ptsd..
♡Chapter Five: Utah
♡summary; Lucas has various run ins with the law,some pleaseant and others...
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As he drives into the state of Utah,theres something that had been picking at the back of his mind. That damn black SUV, it may be his paranoia but hes been dealing with these goverment spooks his whole life.
He rolls back his shoulder,trying to shake off the bad feeling thats clinging onto him like a leech. A sigh falls past his lips as he turns on the radio,and for a second time in his journey, Black Sabbath plays,same song.
Finished with my woman 'cause
She couldn't help me with my mind
People think I'm insane because
I am frowning all the time
Lucas hisses in discontent at the recognition of the song, but leaves it on. With a scowl he keeps Driving, a resting bitch face that could scare anyone.
All day long I think of things
But nothing seems to satisfy
Think I'll lose my mind
If I don't find something to pacify
Can you help me
Occupy my brain?
Oh yeah
He hates how much the song fits Him. In any other context he'd be singing along,but after being chased by some weird SUV,yeah no thanks.
One of his "quirks" is that he overthinks,he does that a lot. Hell,that SUV was enough to send him to the edge of a paranoid spiral,hes so damn close, he cant be caught before ever reaching Milton-Haven..
I need someone to show me
The things in life that I can't find
I can't see the things that make
True happiness, I must be blind
See,this is the thing thats making him consider seeing a therapist again,hes used to his paranoid spirals,hes lived with them his whole life. But just because hes gotten used to it,that doesnt mean its easy.
On bad days,he couldnt even leave his house, he'd cover up all Windows and entrances And just bunker himself into his house for days at a time.
He hates It, he hates the feeling of paranoia,the Fear,the anxiety. God,he does need help.
Make a joke and I will sigh
And you will laugh and I will cry
Happiness I cannot feel
And love to me is so unreal
And its not only the paranoia,he feels happiness like its muffled,filtered out. He could laugh,he could find things funny,but the happiness didnt last long. And as much as he wants to hold on to that feeling,there are days where its as brief as the passing breeze.
And so as you hear these words
Telling you now of my state
I tell you to enjoy life
I wish I could but it's too late
The song ends shortly thereafter. He sighs in relief and lets the other songs play out until he reaches a café. There he orders breakfast and sits on a quiet,lone booth in the back.
Paranoid,hes paranoid, he knows that. But he tries to play it off so he doesnt stick out like a sore thumb.
Lucas tilts his head to the side,stretching his neck muscles with a deep sigh. He feels the bones in his neck pop and a lot more relaxed he grabs his Journal
"Already in Utah, ive been paranoid and panicky all day. I havent felt like this since my last paranoid spiral a week ago,the Day I decided I needed to chase this mystery.
God,i can still remember the feeling of having my house in complete shutdown. All the Doors locked, it was GODDAMN awful.
I need a break before I actually have a public freakout and draw more attention to myself. I dont want to be even more of a target...or feel that way ever again.
Thought this trip would help me get out of the house and feel less paranoid. Having to be on the edge of yet another spiral is a Real gut punch to the Morale. Its just a few days more, I think I can hold out.
Hopefully."
Post breakfast,he resumes his Driving,checking his outside mirror more than he should. He double checks that his rifle Is at hand more than he normally would.
Oh he can already feel it setting in,the cold sweating, the anxious bounce of the leg, the way his fingers tap on the Gear shift in an uneven,inconsistent rythm. Its like a melody falling appart.
Hes out of synch,hes out of rythm,like a drummer messing up the beat of the song over and over again.
Lightheaded,his heartbeat is a drum in his ears,blasting and breaking his eardrums. Its awful, asphyxiating
With shaky,irregular breaths his eyes look for a motel nearby. He spots one in the map,one of the things he highlighted before the trip, and on the way there, he decided he needs to calm down.
It starts off with breathing excersices,deep inhales and exhales. Then,grounding excersices, 5 things he can see,four things he can touch,That sort. And slowly but surely,his breath Evens out,his heartbeat returns to normal and he feels back to reality.
Yet,it takes a toll on him. His body feels s lot weaker,more tired.
He hates it,he Hates that he knows whats the right thing to do. And so,he keeps Driving.
As he reluctantly pulls into the parking lot of the motel, Lucas mentally curses that stupid paranoia spiral that led him here.
The door to his van closes rather loudly,usually he is carefull with car Doors, but today hes pretty pissed, so he slams the door shut,catching the attention of a person leaning on the entrance to the motel.
But he doesnt notice them until he hears them go-- Damn,Rough Day.
You wouldve thought he could have broken his neck with the speed that he Turned to see the person talking to him.
Hes met with a rather short woman, around 5'3,short Bond hair,grey eyes and dressed in pretty comfortable normal clothes.
--You could say as much-- he replied, a little annoyed but trying to not lash out.
This girl can tell though, she notices the way his jaw sets and his eyes almost burn a hole through her head.
--You might want to find someone to look out for your van, shit's been crazy as of late.
Lucas squints at her,checking for anything that might confirm his suspicion.
And he does, he sees the glimmer of a badge poking out from the pocket of her jacket. But she looks a lot younger than him and hes too tired to throw down with anyone.
--Tough chance kid,now ive had a very,very,bad day so far. So,if you dont mind-- he starts before the woman stands infront of him. He snarls and hisses a growl,annoyance building up.
--look- I know what youre trying to do
--Youre a fed,'course y'do
--n' I think its the right thing-- she added,which made him back off just a little.-- I wasnt lying about stuff getting crazy,ill Keep an eye out on the van.
--And me
She rolled her eyes, pursing her lips and giving him a blank stare-- you wish. Im on your side and I think it would do you good to listen to what I have to say. Youre a Smart Man,arent you? So quiet down
Fine, hes playing along. Hes too tired to protest-- fine,what is your wisdom, oh great fed.
God,his sarcasm was really taking the wheel,huh?
--I am on your side,I dont think our little friend from the 60s should make a comeback,its too effective,too inhumane -- she explains,relaxing her posture a little since he is not an active threat.-- so you go sleep,hey some rest and get ready. Because theyre comin at you with everything that theyve got
Lucas sighs, nodding-- 'kay, fine so do I have to pay a bribe or something
--dont tempt me. But no-- she replied-- And also,theres this therapist in Milton-Haven,I know a guy whose sister is a patient of his,told me hes a great guy. His names something Wales. I think you could use the help
Oh,so he looks THAT traumatized,huh?
--Good to know I look that fucked up-- he snapped back.
--Brother,we have a whole file on you
--'course y'do
--I know you have PTSD. Trust me- ive bee-- im right there with you, theres help out there for you.
At that,his gaze softens,his heart feels like its being squeezed and his face changes. Hes no longer angry,he feels...sorry.
She can tell,and hes quick to recompose himself and scoff,trying to play it off by walking into the motel as he says-- Hide yer damn badge,yer Fed's showing.
The agent only chuckles at his flusteredness and adds-- sweet dreams,Mr.Cole.
Lucas books a room for the night. He gets set into bed,actually enjoying the comfort of the bed rather than be put off by it.  Hes that exhausted. With a deep breath,he allows his conscience to be taken over by sleep.
He finds himself in the barracks of the place they were stationed at. Hes enjoying the mildly Cool breeze that flows through the few Windows.
--Bored much,lieutenant?--Wheeler asks, with a smirk on his lips.
--oh hey Al-- he replied,as his friend sat down beside him on the bed.-- not bored its just...jetlagged
--yeah ive had that happen to me,itll take a few days to get used to it
--Its like ive been steamrolled-- he murmurs,rubbing his eyes-- im so damn Tir-- he yawns,cutting his sentence in hair--ed
Alphonso chuckled-- welcome to the world,kid. Hey,you wont Belive what I sneaked past the guards
A little curious he asks-- What?
Like a kid in christmas,his Friend pulls out two small Hershey chocolate bars-- the good stuff,kid.
--How did you even--He grabs one of the bars,its Cool to the touch-- how is it cold?
--i have my ways-- Wheeler answer with a shrug as he peeled open the chocolate.
--Who did you even have to bribe to get these past,well,everyone?!--Lucas asked, impressed,confused and slightly worried that this will come back to bite them in the ass.
--A true magician never reveals his methods,'n also you'd be surprised at the ammount of shit ive Snucked in-- his captain answered,taking a bite out of his chocolate-- Get rid of the evidence before it melts. Cmon
Enthusiastically,he mows down that chocolate,laughing along with Wheeler to some of his tales of Shenanigans past.
He awakens with a groan as he rolls on his back, his body feeling a little sore. It takes him a second to stand up,spending a few minutes laying on his back with one hand on his stomach and the other behind his head.
When he does eventually sit up,he rubs the sleep out of his eyes and a sleepy whine escapes him,sounding Like a half asleep kitten rather than a fully grown 55 Year old Man.
"13:05"reads the clock on the nightstand,he sighs loudly and gets ready to leave to get lunch. But when he opens the door he finds a cardboard bag with a mcdonalds emblem printed on it,and on it a note "Its not poisoned. YES this note Will make you think that it is, if I wanted you dead I would've Killed you in your sleep. Anyway I hope you had a good nap. -S.V."
And once again,just when he thinks his life couldnt get any weirder, life proves him wrong
Hes not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth,so he takes the food and eats. It disturbs Him a little that she got his order right too, but hes also not that surprised.
Once hes done eating, he goes to check on his van through the Window of his room. Still there,nothing out of place from what he can see, but Parked right Next to It  is a black SUV. He looks low key OFFENDED that she would park the very obvious fed vehicle right Next to his white van.
But then he stops and thinks about the absolute insanity that is having a white van Next to an unmarked SUV. Both of the most suspicious vehicles to ever exist on this planet,Next to eachother just hanging out.
For his peace of mind he figured its like negative plus negative equals positive. If people saw those two things there they'd think nothing of it because who would actually do that.
Yet before he backs off to Keep sleeping, he notices the Agent go into the SUV with what seems to be a happy meal box, and just sit there and eat as she listens to the radio.
He knows that federal agents are people just like he was,but actually seeing an agent jam out to aqua's "Barbie girl" was defenetly an experience. But he feels moved and only scoffs playfully,to then Grab a fresh pair of clothes and get into the shower.
Because of the day he was having,he didnt do his whole routine. He just did enough so his hair didnt look like complete shit and left It as it was,whatever happened to it was between him and god.
Tiredly,he hops into bed only to hear a rattle come from the cardboard box that was still on the bed. He reaches over only to find a green tamagochi in the bag,theres a note taped on it "a token of peace for when youre stuck in a traffic jam"
He snorts and decides to kill of some time by playing with the tamagochi. He'd have to look for tracking devices later,but that was an issue for future Lucas.
Current Lucas spends his time playing with the tamagochi for a few hours until hes ready to leave. He packs up his stuff,puts the little Toy in his pocket and goes to his van to shove all his shit in there.
But before he leaves, he goes to the store by foot, gets exactly two Hershey chocolate bars and returns.
--No wonder I caught your badge--He mutters,noticing the Window of the SUV rolled down half way. He grabs the Hershey chocolate that has a note on it and lets it fall on the drivers Seat, then he goes into his own vehicle and just as he closes the door he notices something.
Theres a small bundle of notes on the passenger Seat tied together with an elástica band.
He takes a few seconds to take a quick look at them, they're mayer documents, theres a list with adresses of buildings, a few with redacted notes.
And a little post it that says "if anybody asks,I didnt get them for you. This never happened,I dont exist. Also itll do you good to find Dr.James. safe trip"
Lucas raises a brow but sets the papers down, and just as he pulls away from the parking lot,his fed friend comes from the inside of the motel and watches him leave. He salutes her and she salutes right back, leaving her to Snicker to herself.
She gets into her car only to notice the chocolate bar with the note, she takes it and it reads "thanks for looking out for my van. Consider this your Bribe- LT.L.C." and underneath it theres a small Killroy drawn with the phrase "get killroiy'd" ,The agent snorts and gets into her car.
She needs to think for a damn good lie to tell her assigned battle buddy,a guy by the last name Dwight,who she left on the dinner they had breakfast at whilist waiting for Lucas to show up. She knew it had to be good,if not her fellow agent would go and check it out, and she did not like his odds against Lucas.
They werent particularly close. Hell,shes never heard of the guy before this very day. But both were there to hold eachother accountable just in case, and the guy had a reputation for taking matters in his own hands If he wasnt satisfied with the results of others.
For some reason,the mere thought of that left a sour taste in her mouth. She had to be careful about this to not out herself,or hey anyone in trouble or worse.
Regardless,Most of Lucas' night drive goes by without any issue,most of the night though. He catches another loose interaction in that no longer dormant frequency.
He stops the van on the side of the road,nothing but Rolling fields of wetlands around him. Theres cicadas and grasshoppers serenading the moon that night as it peeks from the dark clouds. If you were to stand there for a bit, you'd feel very alone very quickly. Its really unsettling.
Theres a bit of static but not enough to the Point that its a garbled mess, he hears a female voice, has to be early thirties.
《Confirm arrival of shipment,over》
And a male voice answers 《confirming arrival of shipment. ETA a few months,still waiting on the ship. Over》
That same female voice replied 《ten-four.》 Then theres a brief pause,he hears an impatient sigh from the woman and then she adds 《Lets hope the ship doesnt crash or else we're all in big FUCKING trouble. Romeo Mike Julliet out》
He knew the shipment was a big deal but- hearing that Lady sound that impatient for it really Honed in the idea.
Lucas writes down what he heard and closes his Journal,and just as hes about to tuck in for the night, he hears the rustling of Grass and semi quiet footsteps approaching his van.
"Why is nothing ever allowed to be simple" he thinks,getting his gun ready and cocking it as silently as he could. He turns off the lights on his van,making it seem like hes going to sleep, he lays down,hiding himself between the dark shadows of the van as the moon gets covered by the thick stormy clouds.
When the head of his intruder is peeking through the half opened Window of the Man's back door he shoots.
Even if the rifle wasnt suppressed, nobody wouldve heard the shot in the middle of that field Clad road. The body falls and he waits for a shitstorm.
But its quiet.
And then his mind goes to that agent he met,his blood freezes and he tenses up. The Sky gets struck with thunder so loud it might break the heavens in two, the rain pours down on the earth.
Oh no
The doors SLAM Open as he looks at the short figure laying limp on the road. His breath quickens as he steps out and hovers over the body.
Blood gets swept by the rain,the thunder illuminates the fields in brief flashes of white light,like a roar from a celestial lion.
On the side of the road,the green Grass gets stained crimson and as his heart beats to the rythm of a thousand drums,to the Point that it drowns out the storm...
He sighs in relief as he sees its another agent,a guy,pretty short in statue. His eyes catch the guy's CIB badge strapped to his belt --OH THANK GOD
But then the reality sets in, he just Killed a CIB agent.
Oh.
Shit.
Like a bat out of hell,he hops right back into his van and drives the whole night through,soaked in rain and checking his back every four minutes. By sunrise he makes it to Nevada and stays in the most hidden,most inconspicuous cheap motel he can find. He just fucked up. Big. Time.
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swordsmans · 1 year
Note
Do we know if one piece will be finished soon? Thinking of it's end makes me so anxious haha
short answer is yes, long answer is... "soon" is extremely relative when it comes to one piece (lol). so i personally would not worry too much!! ive been in and out of one piece since thriller bark was releasing real-time, and im like... trying not to think of the end. this series has been a part of my life for like... fifteen years or smth crazy. BUT i don't think it's going to come any time soon irl. here's why! (that's what im telling myself, at least)
as of last fall, the manga has officially entered the "final saga" starting with the egghead arc (official twitter announcement), which is basically macro-plot endgame for the whole series. for context, one piece is so huge it's broken up into "sagas" and "arcs", with each saga most often containing multiple arcs. this means that sagas can last literal years of real-life time. there's some debate about where to actually draw lines around sagas--for example: i have seen some people combine WCI and Wano into the "Emperor Saga" before, but i think it's commonly accepted that Zou/WCI/Reverie are one saga and Wano is it's own thing.
SPOILERS BELOW
however, even in a world where the final saga is one large "arc" (unlikely, since we're already starting to move off egghead imo) think about how long Wano was on it's own. i fell off reading consistently around the the middle/end of WCI and didn't pick things back up for four years, and all i missed was a hefty chunk of Wano. one arc/saga. i'm not saying that every arc/saga is going to be as long as Wano (i think it's the longest to date), but think about how many moving pieces are still on the table and how it took years to address two emperors and the samurai (which was set up in Thriller Bark). we still have:
the remaining emperors, shanks and blackbeard (and buggy, tentatively, but i do think cross guild is going to be an ally because buggy/croc/mihawk all have histories as "temporary" straw hat allies and once you cross that threshold you're in it for life)
marines (absolute justice), e.g. akainu and his followers
the five elders and imu (seperate from AJ marines because they're clearly making their own moves)
marines (honorable justice/SWORD), although it looks like they've starting moving as of 1080
revolutionary army
what's left of the supernovas, because i highly doubt the other two monster captains have died at this point
saul and the ohara survivors + straw hat grand fleet (again, allies, so they might just appear out of nowhere or not take an active plot role outside of narration [re: saul] or battle [re: shgf]), but they still have to do something)
yes, i realize that these are all pieces that he's basically moving across the board from where they are now to where the final battle is going to take place, but considering the pace of one piece chapters that could take years alone. at a rate of 40-ish chapters a year, even if the final saga is 150 chapters like Wano, that's still a lot of irl time.
and that's not to mention the narrative elements oda has left to wrap up (although i will admit, now that he's started cutting narrative/worldbuilding and putting things in SBSs exclusively, i do think there will be a lot of unanswered/unsatisfyingly answered questions by the end--why senor pink got a flashback backstory and not zoro's family/the shimotsuki lineage is one of the top 5 most burning questions i am going to ask god when i die). explanations for lore and worldbuilding often cover multiple chapters, especially if it's in the form of a flashback. and we still have so much plot plot to get through when you consider joyboy/void century "plot A" and current timeline "plot B".
i firmly believe we're going to get an extended flash-back sequence of joyboy/void century events because that has been the backbone of one piece's plot since alabasta. so at some point we're going to have to break away from the "plot B"/current timeline to get the full picture of what's been driving the world since joyboy's era. i think that's going to be a whole ~thing~ that's even longer than oden's flashback sequence, which people were calling "oden's flashback arc" at the time (literally, it was like a mini arc because releases covered six months irl time). so setting aside everything that has to happen in the main plot, there's also (hopefully) going to be a huge unaccounted for chunk of backstory/narrative.
so my guess? five years, personally. anything less would leave a lot of unanswered questions or cut huge corners. unless it ends abruptly like bleach or naruto (please please please no), i think it will be longer than wano's 150 chapters, so when you take into account release schedules and filler five years feels like a good estimate. (you could even say six because the there's about a year delay between the manga/anime, and i almost count that as... one piece TWO! because it's like a whole different experience sometimes [see: spandam manga vs. anime; ace's expanded backstory; SH timeskip extended sequences; etc])
(and on a purely selfish note, in five years i'll have been into the series for two decades, and i think it would be extremely satisfying to cross that threshold lol)
ANYWAY YEAH i'm feeling totally normal about the thought of one piece ending and have put a completely normal amount of effort into convincing myself it'll still go on as long as i possible. hope this answers your question(???) i got a little off track there lol
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