#jacob brought props

[nalyra-dreaming]

"I brought props"

#jam reiderson everyone #falling over themselves laughing #lol #look at them #the sucking sounds in the video #jacob brought props #lmao #jacob anderson #sam reid #iwtv cast #iwtv recap #amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire amc #iwtv amc #iwtv 2022 #interview with the vampire

[milfjuulpod]

Down The River

request: yes

Can you do one of Melissa protecting fem reader after someone tries to hurt them or something? And then she holds them while they cry?

warnings: uhhh idk scrape/minor yelling?

A/N: carissima=a more “serious” term for my dear.

thank u for sending a request! it means the world, and i hope i did it justice ! much love 🫶 also this gif wow anyone else got butterflies

Somehow between Janine’s persistent pleading and Melissa’s not-so-empty threats, you found yourself at the Twin Tubing River with more of your coworkers than you would have liked. Sure, you got along with everyone well considering it was still your first year teaching at Abbott, but something about Ava’s “tubing era” made you a bit uneasy. Floating down the river with Melissa would be a dream, the two of you finally sealed the deal recently after months of flirting. Despite being head over heels for the red headed woman, the both of you wanted to wait before telling everyone such an intimate detail about the both of your lives, now shared.

So here you are, at a picnic table playing with the rope on your tube, surrounded by such an odd group of people, but you were happy to be there nonetheless. Of course, Janine and Jacob brought way too many snacks for a day in the water, the table overflowing with food. Ava was busy attaching makeshift pillows to her float, getting ready to round everyone up to make their way down. Somehow, your eyes found themselves on Melissa again, taking in every detail of her. The green bathing suit she wore looked so good against her skin, her hair was blowing in the wind so perfectly, as if there was a fan propped right in front of her. Her eyes locked with yours, and you both knew she caught you staring. She gave you the sweetest smile she could, and went back to flipping through her book.

“Alright y’all, buddy up and attach with ropes, I don’t want to have to hire new staff next year,” Ava said to the group, passing out said ropes. Melissa immediately stood up and walked over to you, laying her arm over your shoulder as casually as she could. “I’ll take the kid, make sure she doesn’t drown,” She teased you. Blush made its way to your cheeks, both from your girlfriend and the attention it brought to you from everyone else. Although you and Melissa hadn’t explicitly come out as a couple yet, the two of you had a hard time keeping your hands off each other, and none of your friends are that blind.

One by one, all of you descended into the cold, Melissa and you holding hands under the water, of course. Despite your nerves earlier, you had to admit this was nice. You did love everyone you worked with, and everybody had found their own groove to follow. “What are you thinkin’ about over there?” Melissa asked you quietly. She could always tell when you were deep in thought. “Nothing much,” you answered honestly, “just appreciating where I am, and who I’m with.” If Melissa’s eyes could turn into hearts, they would have in that moment. Each and every day spent together she could feel herself falling deeper and deeper in love.

“You’re too sweet,” She shrugged the compliment off. “Yeah? Sweet enough to get a present when we get home tonight?” You asked, giving her your best begging face you could in that moment. Melissa’s grip around your hand tightened, and even with the sun as bright as it was, you could never miss that dark look in her eyes when her thoughts about you became…less than professional. “Yeah baby, maybe even sweet enough for two,” She smiled at you, and there were the blushed cheeks again.

After about an hour of the river, the gang decided it was time to head back to land and have some lunch. The way back was, to say the least, less than successful. Everybody piled up by the stairs, trying their best to exit their tubes gracefully. A couple was at the exit at the same time as you, a man and a woman. Just your luck, as you were making the exit, so was the man, who was much larger than you. As he swung his tube out of the water, his arm and float shoved into your back, pushing you onto the concrete. Before you could even express the sudden pain in your knee, the clumsy man started yelling. “Why don’t you stay out of people’s way and things like this won’t happen?” He exclaimed. You felt your stomach drop in fear. Not from the man, not from the wound on your knee, but from Melissa.

If there was one thing Melissa would protect more than anything, it was you. “Are you fucking kidding me?” She yelled back, her voice much louder than his. “Maybe if you were actually using your head you would’ve looked around before swingin’ that thing around like a god damn dance ribbon,” Melissa was now out of the water, hair tied up, and she was just a few feet away from a fight. Luckily, Gregory stepped in and took Melissa’s arm, pulling her more towards your direction rather than the idiot who caused the scene. The sight of you still on the ground pulled Melissa back down to earth and she immediately rushed to your side. “Come here baby, let’s go,” She said, not caring about the pet name in front of anyone anymore. She took your arm in hers and started walking you towards the bath house.

You didn’t have to ask her for anything, Melissa jumped right into taking care of you. She turned on the shower and let it warm up before walking you in with her. “Let me rinse it hon, does it still hurt, are you okay?” She asked. Moments before, Melissa was red hot with anger, and now here she was, being oh so gentle towards you. When you didn’t answer, she again knew something was wrong. For whatever reason, you had started crying and couldn’t stop. The scrape from earlier was stinging, the confrontation was overwhelming, not to mention it happening in front of so many people. Your chest heaved as you began softly sobbing in the shower. You reached out for Melissa, desperate for her touch. You wanted to calm down and tell her everything going on in your head, but all you could get out was her name.

“It’s okay carissima,” she whispered, taking you in her arms, letting the hot water hit your back. “You’re okay, I got you, you know that,” she assured you, gently planting kisses on your head as you cried into her chest. The tears didn’t last much longer, with Melissa they never do. She always took care of you, like nobody else did. You were special in her eyes, and she made sure you felt it every day. “Thank you, Mel,” you finally said, tears subsiding. She lifted your head from her shoulder and gave you a kiss, this time on the lips. “You don’t have to thank me, it’s what I’m here for.” Most times your showers with Melissa were much more sensual, but right now, with her gentle caresses and words, all you felt was love. Pure happiness and love.

The door to the bath house opened, shushing you and Melissa immediately. “Hey, it’s just me. You okay?” Ava’s voice sounded from beyond the curtain. “Yeah, I’m alright, thank you though,” you told her, hoping she would take that answer and leave you back to your girlfriend. “Alright, just wanted to check on ya. Oh and Melissa, while you’re in there can you look for my shampoo bottle? I know you have better eyesight than the other one,” Ava said, and walked back out the door. Melissa and you stared at each other wide-eyed. “Well, I guess Ava knows now,” you said. “Yeah,” Melissa said, giving you another gentle kiss, “I guess she does.”

#abbott elementary #abbott elementary fics #lisa ann walter #reader fic #wlw #melissa schemmenti headcanon #melissa schemmenti #melissa schemmenti x reader

[monkey-d-ezekiel]

OP Live Action Hype, Some Photos and Final Thoughts:

Overall Thoughts:

Y'all. The Live Action is very close at hand. I am extremely sorry to anyone who has had to tolerate my One Piece posting but I just cannot contain my excitement. It's one of my favorite series brought to life in live action. And even aside from personal preferences, it seems to be a huge passion project for the creators. They seem to have a lot of chemistry, and you can see that the actors are clearly passionate about One Piece. They've also researched the characters thoroughly, going way beyond surface level, and as a result have a perfect vision of how they should behave. Very nice to see an enthusiastic cast!

Cast and Production Team:

You can see that the actors are putting a lot of dedication and effort into this release, and so is the production team. And so far? It seems to be delivering a really polished final product, perhaps one of the only good live action anime adaptations. So I'm SUPERRRRR hype for it. It's only 2 days away now, so there's not much else to say, we can just kinda wait and watch. I can't wait for Iñaki Godoy to encapsulate Luffy perfectly in the Live Action. Also looking forward to Mackenyu and Emily doing their bit well.

Sizeable Budget:

A notable thing worth mentioning is that the overall budget for the live action is 138 million USD, which results in around 17 million per episode, which is really high for a Netflix adaptation. While money doesn't make a good show, they seem to have put the money to really good use. The props and sets are all super amazing and realistic. I hope this show turns out well, both for the audience as well as the team working on it, and also for the larger world to see that good adaptations are possible.

Here's some miscellaneous photos for y'all!

Straw Hat Actors In A Photoshoot:

Luffy (Iñaki Godoy - personal fav):

Nami (Emily Rudd):

Zoro (Mackenyu):

Sanji (Taz Skylar - with the 4kids lollipop):

Usopp (Jacob Gibson):

Budget Statement:

Random Zeff Pic cuz he looks cool:

#one piece #one piece live action #one piece live action trailer #opla trailer #opla cast #opla #op live action #op netflix #op netflix adaptation #one piece netflix #emily rudd #mackenyu #taz skylar #jacob gibson #iñaki godoy #luffy #zoro #nami #sanji #usopp #one piece anime

[tripthelightfandomtastic]

Wild Jacob Thomas Tuesday! This man has been looking so good lately, it’s insane. Just think about being on facetime with him while he’s in Europe and getting a little distracted. He likes to hold the phone at an arms length away or prop it up somewhere, so you’re able to see all of his hand movements and whatnot as he speaks. However, your eyes start to trail down from his eye to his nose, his lips, his collar bones, his atocha coins, his exposed chest thanks to his half buttoned shirt. As you subconsciously lick and bite on your lips, you’re brought out of your trance by the sound of Jake exaggeratedly clearing his throat. When your eyes snap back up to meet his through the screen, you find his shit eating grin and mischief filled gaze.

“-which was the most… *ahem* so this is gonna be that kind of phone call, sweet girl?”

FUCK YEAH HE LOOKS SO FUCKIN FINE

Dude idk what tf is in the water in Europe but Jake always looks so fucking scrumptious on this part of the tour. I can imagine how he would definitely get off on how sexy you find him, asking you to use your words on what's got you so distracted. He loves to make you blush but rewards you with sweet pet names. I can imagine that call ends in some mutual masturbation while he tells you what he's been fantasizing, what he'd do if he were there right now, and mostly just how good you look and how he's dying to taste you when he comes home.

#wild wednesday #gvf #greta van fleet #jake kiszka #jake gvf

[hopefullyitsextensivebule]

When The Lake Thawed Out: Chapter 5

Summary: In 1993, a young man goes missing near a lake in his hometown; the town heartbroken and having lost a spark in their lives. Now, after 30 years of unanswered questions, he comes home in one of the most intense heatwaves to ever hit the town of Little Franconia, seeing that things are the same and different. In this tale of discovery and family, watch as Joshua relearns the world around him and adjusts to the nuances of pop culture, technology, and generational rot.

Writer’s Whining: N/A

Warning(s): Angst.

Word Count: 2K+

@List: @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @asparrowofthedawn@obetrolncocktails, @fallonfatality, @wetkleenex-gvf, @takenbythemadness, @heatsaboves @joshym, @freyjalw, @gvf23 @basiccortez @alwaysonthemend @losfacedevil@puzzle-gvf@sinsofstardust@glorpa@nessie-glorpa @myownparadise96

The night was silent and calm, a rare occurrence in the Kiszka household. Sam lay comfortably in his bed, hugging his pillow and hair splayed on it as if he were in a deep slumber. Jamie was in his bed, arms crossed under his head as he fell asleep in that position from jamming to music hours earlier.

Jacob was in bed, his leg propped up on a pillow and his arms on his stomach. He snored slightly, eyelids shut and eyeballs roaming underneath as if in search of something. That level of comfort would never be the same again.

His phone had rung from the nightstand, Jacob grunting and stirring in his sleep as his hand tried to search for his phone. With laziness, he picked his phone up and propped it on the pillow and answered. “Who is it?”

The voice on the phone had sounded panicked and excitable, to which Jacob had struggled to sit up on the bed and rubbed his eyes. “Wai-slow down, Daniel,” he says, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, “what do you mean…”

Within minutes, the sounds of clothes being found and hastily put on ensued. His shoes weren’t tied, but they were on to get to where he needed to be. He had dropped a lamp, the bulb breaking, to which Jake cursed himself and swept the mishap under the bed. The door soon opened to see a tired Sammy rubbing his eyes. “Dad, is everything okay?”

Jake halted his erratic behavior and spoke. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine, Mr. Wagner needs me to do something,” he said, putting his hair in a low ponytail. 

“Is it about Danny? Is he okay?” he asked, concerned. 

“No no no, don’t worry, go back to sleep,” Jake said to him, getting his things and stepping out the room. Sam saw the broken lampshade and how tired and frazzled his father was. Sam went back into the room and started to get dressed himself.

Jake was about to exit the house. His youngest was right behind him, “Sammy, what are you doing?”

“I’m coming with you; you’re too frazzled and can’t drive in the dark,” he said. Jake had groaned in frustration and had go in the passenger seat, Sam driving to the Wagner’s house. Jake was pensive as Sam drove, his eyes fixated outside and his fingers tapping on the door hand of the car. When Sam drove in front of the house, Jake trying to open the car door, but it was not yet able to yet. Sam unlocked the door, Jake jumping out the car, and limping, realizing that he did not have his cane. Sam had reached behind the passenger seat in the netted pouch and grabbed his father’s foldable cane, and brought it out to give it to him.

Jake banged on the door urgently, knocking on it. Sam had to calm him down. The door opened easily, Mrs. Wagner opening it. She had an arm full of clothes that needed washing. “Jake-” she said. 

“W-Where is he!” he said urgently, Mrs. Wagner taking him into the house along with Sam.

“Jacob, he's fine,,” Mrs. Wagner states, “but please, he looks out of it.”

Jake looked at the woman and then headed to the bedroom. “Mrs. Wagner… what’s going on?” Sam asked her, Mrs. Wagner’s hand on his shoulder.

“It’s… complicated,” she told her. 

“Where’s Danny?” he asked.

“In the basement, finding some old clothes,” she answered.

Mr. Daniel Wagner was in the guest bedroom, where he had a pitcher of cold water and a glass filled already. He looked at the young male, seeing how tired and worn he looked. The father of one himself had wet eyes, knowing how much this would have meant to his friend. The door opened behind him, a nervous Jake standing at the door's threshold.

“Is it him?” Jake asked. 

Mr. Wagner had moved out of the way so that Jake could get close to him. Jake had taken a shakey breath of air, the lump in his throat large as he saw him. He had sat on a chair and had scooted close, taking the male’s hand in his and rubbing it. His hands were identical to his… but they were not aged like his. His knuckles and his palm were soft and feathery.

He stirred in the bed, eyebrows furrowed and eyes clamping shut. “… mm”

Jake held his breath, waiting for him to say something to him. The older male had gone to touch his forehead, feeling how warm he was. “Say something…”

Chestnut eyes greeted the world, a bit dull but still had so much life in them. He scanned the room to see where he was, wondering how he ended up here. He soon met the other’s, his eyes filling up with a light of relief.

“Jakey…” he called him, a faint but overt smile on his face. Jacob soon hugged the male tightly, the other weakly hugging him and rubbing his back. Sobs left Jake as he was finally reunited with him. He was reunited with his twin. 

Josh.

Mr. Wagner had rubbed his eyes, trying to compose himself as well. Mrs. Wagner came with the old clothes. She saw the reunion and felt tears sitting on the brims of her eyes. Jake had pulled away, looking at Josh’s face. “You… haven’t aged… how’s this possible.”

“Jake, he’s tired,” Mr. Wagner said, his hand on the man’s shoulder.

“Can I stay the night?” Jake asked, “please…”

“Of course, you can,” Mr. Wagner allowed, rubbing his back. Sam and Daniel looked at each other briefly before looking at the scene before them.

⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹⟹

After some time had passed, Daniel and Sam sat at the kitchen table, a cup of tea for each of them. “How did he even find your house?” Sam asked him. 

“We never moved from here. This house was my dad’s growing up, so I guess he thought my dad was still here…” Daniel said, “it was so weird, seeing him though. He was out of it, but he thought I was my dad’…”

“You and your dad do look alike,” Sam said, “I’ve seen photos of him when he was a kid, you guys are twins.”

Daniel chuckled and rolled the cup of tea between his palms pensively, “still. Seeing your dad’s twin alive just like he was when he… you know. It has to be pretty weird. I mean, technically, that’s your uncle.”

“That is… if he is related to us,” Sam said, “I just find it weird. Like what if he’s one of those scammers for missing or dead family members and he’s just here to get money from us. Scammer do all that research just to get a couple bucks.”

“Well, he must be really good at memorizing things because when he was talking to mom. He told a whole story about how my dad and yours were in band class, and that your dad only was in band class to get with the ladies,” Daniel had chuckled. “My dad hadn’t laughed like that in ages,” he said to him. 

“Dad can finally be at peace now. This had eaten him up a lot since forever,” Sam emphasized. Sam had a good idea of who his uncle was; Jake described him as if he had seen him yesterday. It would be anything that reminds Jake of him. Jamie would grow tired over the course of the years, but Sammy listened.

Mr. and Mrs. Wagner had walked down the stairs, Mr. Wagner speaking to the boys. “Your dad is going to stay here for tonight. Daniel, if you can get the airbed from the basement that’ll be just great,” he said, Daniel starting to move.

“Oh, Mr. Wagner, that’s not necessary,” Sam pleaded, “I have to go back home; Jamie is still there; he doesn’t even know what’s happening.”

“Well… in that case,” Mr. Wagner said, looking at his son. “Danny, can you stay with the boys at their place tonight?”

“Sure,” Danny said, having rushed up his room to get his things.

“Let me text Jamie at least,” Sam said, getting his phone out and beginning to text Jamie, being left on sent. Danny had taken his father’s car and taken Sam back to the house, Sam’s face laced with worry. Daniel tried his best to lighten the mood, Sam smiling a little, but it faded. 

They had returned to the house, Sam and Danny heading up to the Kiszka’s room. The small lamp had turned on, but Danny was able to see the room. It was decorated with different jazz artist posters and other little trinkets. Danny found a photo of the two of them from when they were younger, picking it up and seeing their preteen faces.

Sam had grabbed some blankets and placed them on the bed when he saw Danny smiling at him. “That was so long ago… wasn’t it.”

“Yeah,” the other said, fingertips touching the picture, “let’s go to bed…”

“Literally just thinking that…” Sam agreed. Daniel had gotten into his pajamas and had entered Sam’s bed. Sam did the same but the opposite end. They fell quiet and eventually fell asleep.

#greta van fleet #gvf #josh kiszka #josh gvf #jake kiszka #jake gvf #danny wagner #danny gvf #sam gvf #sam kiszka #greta van fanfiction #Greta van fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #greta van fleet fan fiction #josh kiszka fanfiction #greta van angst #greta van fic #🌸🌸🌸 #🧊

[honeykngdom]

𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚢 | 𝚎. 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕 | 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎

Pairing: Embry Call x Original Character Summary: Join Ainsley and Embry as they embark on a journey where they are forced to question everything they thought they knew, and embrace the pain that is inevitable to avoid in love. An imprint story. Self-discovery. Angst and romance. Word Count: 5.3k Warnings: acts of violence, mentions of blood, angst. so much angst. Taglist: @leilaniers - message / comment if you’d like to be tagged in new chapters (or for Embry content in general)!

𝙴𝚖𝚋𝚛𝚢

Embry’s body ached in places they hadn’t ached in years. He groaned slightly, stretching his arms out in front of him as the joints popped loudly. He was sore, he was tired, and he was hungry. As much as he wanted to sleep, he needed food far more. Working a double patrol was not something commonly heard of amongst the group – so, it’s safe to say Leah and Seth were a little more than surprised when Embry had joined them the previous night to run their shift around the border. 

In all honesty, Embry hadn’t thought too much about it. Jacob hardly ever asked anyone for favours, let alone Embry. But lord knows he had asked for plenty. Seeing no reason to say no, Embry agreed to the extra shift and called in sick to his job for the night. As unhappy as Dan had been about it, he allowed it. 

His fingers worked aimlessly, pulling a clean bowl from the dishwasher and loading it high with Ainsley’s sugary sweet cereal. After digging through the heaping pile of dirty utensils in the sink, Embry found a spoon big enough for his appetite, cleaned it thoroughly and wandered into the living room with his breakfast. 

Once seated on the couch, he propped his feet up on the coffee table – something Ainsley usually never allowed – and flipped the television on. He searched for something while he shovelled spoonfuls into his mouth, pausing momentarily to watch the headline on one of the local news channels circulate across the screen. 

𝑻𝑯𝑹𝑬𝑬 𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝑭𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫 𝑫𝑬𝑨𝑫 𝑰𝑵 𝑺𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑻𝑳𝑬

Embry sighed; it was difficult trying to find the remaining nomads in the area. He knew fully well that they were preying on humans in other cities, that the odds of them returning to the reservation were slim to none. That typically infuriated Embry, moreso when Jacob dismissed his futile efforts in trying to convince the pack they should go to Seattle to try and hunt them, rather than wait for them here. While it seemed like a practical idea, Jacob had also pointed out that the forest to city ratio was leaning in favour of the latter, which would make finding and killing them more difficult. 

They were unable to cause any real damage while in human form, but were also unable to wander the streets openly. 

Embry placed the empty bowl on the table, swinging his legs over onto the couch as he belched and settled into the cushions. With being unable to be home over the last few weeks, Embry had decided it would be best for Ainsley if she stayed at Jennie’s. He couldn’t decide if leaving her alone was any better than sticking her with her family. If he came for her, he’d surely kill the others, too. 

Jennie. TJ. Travis.

Trent. 

Leah, however, seemed less pessimistic than Embry and had seconded the idea. It brought them more peace in mind to know where they were, and that they were together when neither Leah nor Embry could be around. It had been a few days since Ainsley had slept in their bed, and her absence made Embry feel less at home.

He pulled his phone from his pocket, staring at the illuminated screen that showed a photo of the pair making silly faces in their ugly christmas sweaters – his home screen featured a photo of their matching Halloween costumes. He had gone as Danny and she had gone as Sandy. Embry wore a leather jacket and a tight fitted pair of black jeans with his hair (prior to the accidental buzz Ainsley had given him) slicked back. She wore a homemade Pink Ladies jacket, paired with a cropped white tank and leather leggings. 

He let his eyes close, only momentarily, the weight of his exhaustion finally creeping up on him. 

The sound of a car door slamming from outside the front door brought him back; he slowly opened his eyes, a growl rising in his chest as he turned his head towards the television and read the time – 2:38 PM . Well fuck , he thought as he sat up, I guess I was out longer than I thought.

He had barely gotten the chance to remove the eye sleepies before Jacob barged through the door, “Dude, what the fuck?” Embry grumbled, rubbing his fists against his eyes. “Close the damn door, it’s freezing -”

“Embry, we need to talk.” He said firmly, slamming the door shut behind him. Embry paused his movements and watched Jacob as he began to pace back and forth in their living room uneasily. 

His face was pulled together and tight. Like he had something to say, he just didn’t know how to say it. Like it left a bad taste in his mouth. He’d wander just into the hallway towards the kitchen before he’d come back and pass the television to stop short of the recliner Embry’s mom left behind. Jacob’s arms were folded, his hand covering his mouth every so often. 

After about sixty seconds, Embry rolled his eyes and slumped back into the couch. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” he grumbled, almost exasperated. “I just – I need to make sure I’m doing the right thing.” 

Embry watched his alpha pace again, only stopped every so often to place his hands on his hips and stare down at him. He half expected Jacob to just say something at some point, and was fully prepared for it to be completely stupid and not worth disturbing his sleep. “Don’t you always do the right thing?” He asked, cracking his knuckles. 

“This is different,” Jacob sighed, letting his head fall back. “This is about loyalty and family and –”

Embry raised his brow, lifting his eyes just enough to watch Jacob’s face contort again. “Somethings really eating you up, huh?”

“Emb –”

“Jake, just spit it out. Not to be rude, and I’m going to be rude – I’m fucking tired and you’re kinda being annoying.” Jacob collapsed onto the couch next to his brother; Embry sighed and leaned forward on his elbows, “So, either you say something or you get out of my face. Please.”

𝙹𝚊𝚌𝚘𝚋

Jacob pressed his lips together and inhaled deeply. The part of him that wanted to protect his cousin was screaming somewhere in the back of his mind. She was his family. His duty was to protect her – even if it meant lying to the pack. He had considered it. Considered having people fill his shift, even considered having a meeting to address that the nomad issue no longer threatened the reservation and therefore seemed useless to have his pack strain themselves. 

No one would have to know what he knew. Eventually, it would come out. And when it did, it was possible that the Cullen’s could take complete responsibility for Maddox’s presence. No one would have to know. He wouldn’t have to preoccupy himself with other thoughts because he physically was unable to think about anything other than Ainsley and Maddox and what road lay ahead. 

On the flip side, he thought about Embry. 

Embry was his brother. Ainsley had been absent for so many years, and their relationship came through blood. Blood may be thicker than water, but Embry had been there for Jacob. Despite not liking Bella, despite being a complete asshole, he had earned Jacob’s respect – and Jacob respected Embry enough to not let something as big as this slip past him. 

He feared that his brothers would question his loyalty and decision making should they ever find out. 

Despite everything Carlisle and Jasper had said, Maddox was still a nomad vampire, that had fed on humans, that could still pose a very dangerous threat to the tribe and the townspeople.

“I can’t choose,” he said finally, shaking his head. “She’s my family, and I love her, I really really do.”

“Who?”

“Ainsley.” 

Jacob watched Embry’s face carefully. Several different emotions crossed his face, never able to cling to one. Worry pulled his brows together and pulled his lips taunt, “What about her? What’s wrong?”

𝙴𝚖𝚋𝚛𝚢

“Maddox is residing with the Cullen’s.” 

Embry almost had to ask Jacob to repeat himself – because for a moment, it sounded like Jacob had just informed him that the nomad vampire that had previous relations with his girlfriend was living with the one family he couldn’t touch. That the one vampire he had dreams of tearing into pieces was within walking distance and no one had even known. 

He wasn’t sure if he should be angry at himself or at the Cullen’s. 

“Emb.” Jacob turned to look at his brother fully, “Ainsley is the one who brought him there.” 

He blinked, his face releasing all tension. “That’s not funny.” He snorted, standing on his two feet to bring his bowl into the kitchen. Embry shook his head, his lips pulling into a smile, half expecting Jacob to start laughing with him. When he didn’t, he pulled his brows together again. “That’s not funny.” He repeated, this time a little harder. 

If Jacob was playing some sort of sick, practical joke on Embry, now was the time to say ‘haha’. 

Jacob stood slowly, his eyes carefully watching the tremors vibrate Embry’s chest. “Emb,” He said quietly, firmly. “Ainsley’s been hiding him.”

His voice broke around her name, “Ainsley?”

Jacob nodded. 

The glass bowl shattered instantly under the pressure of his palms, leaving the ceramic in a billion tiny pieces on their living room floor. Embry’s shoulders heaved with each breath he took, the shaking pulling a loud growl through his chest. 

There were many emotions Embry had mastered over the years - loneliness had been one of them. When Ainsley had come into his life and fully welcomed him with open arms, Embry thought he’d never feel anything other than happy for the rest of his life. He had never expected his other half to help aid and bed a vampire. Another emotion Embry had grown accustomed to was disappointment: for weeks, he had been trying to push the thought from his mind. That reliving the Bella-Edward-Jacob painfest was a possibility between he and Ainsley and Maddox. Disappointment because he believed her every time she promised him everything would be okay – he knew why, now. 

It wasn’t easy to admit defeat for Embry, but what was he to do? He couldn’t kill Maddox now – as much as he wanted to, there was no way he was making it near the Cullen household without one or more of them putting him down.

There was a very large part of him that wanted Jacob to be wrong. More than anything, he wanted Jacob to be lying. His feet moved without consent; Embry found himself darting to his front door, breaking the wood from the hinges as he pulled it open. He didn’t even bother with his pants, didn’t bother with his boots – his body convulsed roughly, the heat scorching his spine and shoulders as he fell to the forest floor with a loud snarl and exploded into the part of him he had grown with the most. 

His paws pushed him forward, ignoring the presence of every other brother’s worry and question that flooded his mind. Embry was fully aware that crossing the lands without general permission was frowned upon; the Cullen’s agreed to stay off their territory so long as the wolves stayed off theirs. 

Today, Embry didn’t care. 

Today, Embry had his own agenda. 

𝙰𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚢

The snow fell outside the Cullen household slowly and gently as I sighed in frustration for the umpteenth time. Over the last few weeks, I stopped viewing Maddox as a chore. At some point, we had moved past what had happened. I had never fully forgiven him for what he played part of, but could live with the decision he made to become a monster, I suppose. There were questions I had that would be left unanswered for quite some time, and I couldn’t be bothered to push. I became so incredibly drained both mentally and physically, I could barely stand on my own two feet. 

Edward handed her a mug of steaming liquid; in the last two weeks, Edward and I had been working on our differences. Part of me constantly wanted to thank him, for forcing Embry to tell me. While unconventional, I was still certain I had him to thank. The other part of me wanted to punch him in the nose, but I was aware that my hand probably wouldn’t win that battle. 

Maddox and Jasper were outside, doing whatever it was that Jasper was good at. They had gotten particularly close since his arrival at the Cullen home – not that I minded. It meant he spent less time bugging me and more time occupying himself.  

“Why aren’t you home with Embry?” Edward asked quietly, settling into the opposite end of the couch awkwardly. 

I cocked my brow, looking sideways at him. “We’re not attached at the hip. I do have a life outside of him.” 

Edward pursed his lips and sighed. “Wish Renesmee had that mindset.” He mused, staring at the floor, “Hardly even bothers trying to talk to anyone anymore, just wants to see Jacob.” 

I smiled, trying to hide it behind the red mug, “They’re besties,” I reminded him, stifling a yawn, “get used to it.” 

We spent the better part of the following twenty minutes in silence; neither of us felt the need to talk much, just simply enjoyed the silence. I learned the hard way that Edward could read my mind – and regardless of how unsettling it was, it proved useful. He knew when I was uncomfortable, when Maddox wasn’t going to be in control – he always made use of it by stepping in whenever he seemed fit. 

“Embry?”

I looked over at Edward, his face pulled together.

There was a loud growl, followed by a boom and crack. 

We stared at each other briefly before Edward disappeared, leaving me sitting in the living room alone. I rushed to the window, looking down into the white abyss of what they called a backyard. Maddox stood on one end of the clearing, snow littering his hair – on the opposite end, a large gray wolf crouched low and snarled. Just by the rigid posture and bared teeth, I knew Embry had come for Maddox and was solely intent on killing him.

Shit.

I bolted after Edward, jumping down the flights of stairs. Edward stood next to Jasper, Jasper yelling something about keeping control. “We have a treaty, Knight.” He reminded him, observing Maddox halt his movements and watch Embry in defeat. 

Embry took this as his cue. 

“No!” I shouted, watching Embry’s shoulder ram into the nomad’s body. Maddox went flying backwards into the bushes, his grunt echoing off the trees. I darted over to where Embry stood – having only seen him in this form twice before – and placed my hands on either side of his snout. “Embry, stop.” I whispered desperately, trying to force the wolf to look at me.

He growled, staring past me to where the vampire had disappeared. 

“Embry, please –”

“Ainsley, get out of the way.” Edward demanded while taking a slow, cautionary step forward. 

I shook my head, looking over my shoulder to where Maddox emerged from the forest. His eyes had darkened, his jaw was taut and squared. If I weren’t incredibly sure Maddox was a unicorn in a daredevils body, he might have actually been terrifying. 

Scratch that, he was definitely terrifying. And as much as I didn’t want Embry hurting Maddox, I didn’t want Maddox – or anyone else, for the matter – hurting Embry. The cold wind bit at my cheeks, eliciting a hiss from my mouth. I was being careless.

When the wolf moved forward, I dragged my feet back, bracing myself against Maddox’s body. “Embry, don’t do this.” I pleaded, pressing a hand to his muzzle. “You’re better than this, don’t do this.” 

I was only met with another growl. 

At a loss, unsure if I would be able to reason sense into my wolf, I turned and looked up at Maddox. “Run.” I instructed; when he failed to move, or make eye contact with me, I placed my hands on his chest and gripped his coat, “Maddox, I said run.” 

The next few moments happened very quickly; Edward’s face morphed into shock, dashing forward once realization had crossed his mind. My back crashed against the side of the deck forcing the wind from me, falling down onto my left shoulder where an audible crack echoed through the air. I couldn’t find my voice to scream – I couldn’t find the willpower to get up. Instead I lay there, sunken five inches deep into the snow, my arm bent backwards behind me as I struggled to find air to pull into my lungs. 

Embry towered over Maddox now; his muzzle pulled back over his teeth, his large paw pressed firmly into his chest as a familiar russet wolf nudged him roughly, trying to knock him backwards. 

No avail. 

Jacob whined loudly, looking over his shoulder at me, bringing Embry’s attention with him. Edward kneeled in front of me, mumbling something about a dislocation. He tried pulling me upright, apologizing meekly when I cried out in pain and shut my eyes. 

You will not cry, you will not cry.

The pain radiated from my shoulder into my back. I could move my arm, but something was definitely not right – not where it should have been. “It needs to be pushed back into place.” Edward said quickly, looking up at Jacob – a human Jacob – as he buttoned up the pair of jeans Jasper had tossed him. “I can’t do it, I’ll break her bones.”

𝙴𝚖𝚋𝚛𝚢

Embry swallowed the lump in his throat. He hadn’t meant for it to be as forceful as it was. He had only meant to push her to the side with his paw, just to move her out of the way so he wouldn’t hurt her when he finally lunged for Maddox – he hadn’t intended on sending her flying twenty feet and into concrete. 

He pulled the band of the sweatpants around his hips, standing behind Jacob at the deck. Ainsley sat in a pile of snow, her bare arms shaking visibly, her lips trembling while the others tended to her. Embry almost wanted to blame Maddox – almost wanted to say everything he wanted to say the entire run here, but kept quiet instead.

Embry and Ainsley would not get mixed up in a love triangle because Embry was certain Ainsley did not love Maddox; when Ainsley tried profusely to prevent Embry from doing what he wanted most (which she had been fully aware of for weeks now), something inside him snapped. That instantaneous feeling of isolation and loneliness sunk back into his bones: the one person he had assumed would always be on his side, had just forced him to question her loyalty. 

Ainsley whined.

He wanted to comfort her, but his mind raced back to the bruises he had left before. The guilt washed over his shoulders, and pulled him down onto his knees. New thoughts circled around his mind: you can’t be with her because you can’t keep yourself from hurting her.

“What were you thinking?” Edward hissed angrily, holding Ainsley’s arm steady as Jacob used his palm to press against her shoulder blade, sliding it back into place. 

Ainsley screamed. 

“I didn’t mean to – I told her to move!”

“She couldn’t hear you, Embry!” Jacob growled, wrapping an arm around his cousin's shoulder, holding it in place as he pulled her arm forward to pop loudly. 

Ainsley whimpered, tears streaming down her face. 

“Ains, honey –” Embry croaked, watching Jacob and Edward pull her to her feet carefully, trying not to move the left side of her body unnecessarily. They maneuvered past him, carrying her over the steps and into the house. He wasn’t entirely sure if he was welcome inside - that wouldn’t stop him from carrying his hollow body up the stairs after them and into the living room two floors up. 

Jacob settled her on the couch, using his thumb to wipe the excess tears from her cheeks. “It’ll be okay,” he cooed, rubbing his large hand over her spine comfortingly, “we got you.” His alpha turned to look over his shoulder at him, lips pressed into a tight line. 

Obviously not impressed with Embry. At all. 

“Jake,” he started, watching his alpha stand tall now, moving towards him quickly. “I didn’t mean it –”

Jacob’s right fist collided with the side of Embry’s jaw, knocking him backwards the slightest bit. He moved to face Jacob again, slowly bringing his hand up to caress his chin. 

Jacob punched Embry again. 

And again. 

And again. 

After the fourth hit, Embry found himself on his hands and knees, trying to breathe through the tremors. He would not let the animal win, he would not put Ainsley in any other sort of danger. The last thing anyone in this household needed was Embry and one of his temper tantrums. 

“I deserve that.” He said in defeat, sitting upright with his palms on his thighs. The blood trickled from his mouth – or nose, he wasn’t sure which – and the right half of his face throbbed tenderly. Ainsley watched the pair in silence, her face skewered in disdain. “Ainsley, I’m sorry –”

“Don’t.” 

Jacob turned to look at her now, the evident shock written clear across every face in the room. This was the part where Ainsley was supposed to say, ‘ Don’t apologize, you didn’t mean it ’. Instead, Embry’s stomach twisted uneasily.

Edward tightened the strap on her sling, his amber hues watching Embry carefully. “Ainsley, Embry really didn’t mean –”

“Don’t defend him.” She snapped, her blue hues narrowing. “He didn’t come here looking to kill anybody for any other reason other than his fucking jealousy – and look at what happened.”

“No one's dead?” Jacob offered optimistically

“No, but I am fucking immobile and won’t be able to do my job.” She shot back, glaring over to where Embry sat. “You’re aware this doesn’t happen in normal relationships, right? Insecurity and jealousy, yeah – but this?”

“We’re not exactly normal.” He mumbled, looking down at the floor.

“Not an excuse, Embry.”

This time, Embry winced. “I know.” 

Edward stood, placing a hand on Jacob’s shoulder, “We should go check on Maddox.” He mumbled quietly, the pair leaving Embry and Ainsley alone in the living room. 

Ainsley pulled her feet under her body, wincing slightly as she readjusted. They sat in silence for a while, neither of them not really knowing what to say or where to start. But not talking was killing him - they had sat in silence a great number of times, but none had ever been this uncomfortable. 

“Jacob told me – about Maddox being here.” He started, wiping the blood off his chin with the back of his hand. “And as soon as I knew that, I wanted to come here and take him out. Because he was the one nomad that had personal ties to you, and that made me worry about your safety all the time. Everytime you left for work, every time you drove alone – I couldn’t shake this feeling that he was going to come up out of nowhere and take you from me.”

Ainsley blinked, raising a brow, “And then?”

Embry sighed, “And then Jacob told me you were the one that brought him here.”

“He asked to be here.”

“But you brought him. You helped him. You knew how important finding him was to me and instead of just talking to me, you lied. For weeks.”

“Just talking to you?” She asked, leaning forward, “Embry, how was I supposed to talk to you about that? Go ahead, tell me exactly how that conversation was going to go. Because if you think it would’ve went smoother than this, you might be delusional.” 

“I didn’t say that –”

“What was I supposed to say?” Her voice was rising with each word, “‘Hey Embry, I know you totally hate him and on some level for whatever reason are completely threatened by him being here, but we’re going to be cool with Maddox and help him out?’ That wasn’t going to fly.” 

Embry sighed, rubbing his temples slowly as his head dropped into his hands, “No.” 

“Then what?”

“Who even is he?” He asked suddenly, looking up at her with hard eyes. “You spent all this time helping him. If he wasn’t important to you, you wouldn’t have lied to me –”

“I didn’t lie –”

“You didn’t exactly tell me the truth, either!” He growled. “So, who is he?” 

“You don’t get to know.” 

“Why?”

Ainsley laughed once, shaking her head angrily. “Because you don’t get to know, Embry. All of this is because of your insecurity in this relationship. I believe that you love me, but you seem to have a hard time trusting me when I say I love you, too. Maddox isn’t a threat to me, and he isn’t a threat to you –”

“Why are you defending him?”

“Because it’s not normal to want to kill people, Embry. It shouldn’t be important to find him –”

“Look at it from my perspective.” He interrupted, holding his arms across his chest. “Some random dude shows up in town, someone you very obviously had no interest in talking to. Trenton had made it clear he wasn’t good company – so, I had made my opinion on him very clear – supernatural aside. As a person, I’m not his biggest fan, because you aren’t his biggest fan. Him being the one thing my blood is literally programmed to kill was just a bonus.” 

“See, that’s what I mean. That’s not normal – that doesn’t get to be a bonus.” 

“Why not?”

“You don’t get it.” Ainsley let her head fall back against the couch, blowing out her frustration. “And if you can’t get it, then I can’t do this with you.” 

Embry paused. His eyes focused on her face, watching each detail carefully, trying to determine the exact meaning of her words and whether or not she meant them. He waited for her lips to threaten a smile, waited for her cheeks to flush under his gaze – and after several moments, he started listening for her heartbeat. 

Smooth and steady. 

Embry felt the first tug at his heartstring, and then another. In the next five seconds, his heart felt as though it were shrinking, physically causing his chest to tighten and his stomach to flip uneasily. He anticipated that she would be angry with him, sure. He deserved that. He expected that she would call him childish, and foolish – again, he deserved that. 

But Embry Call had not expected the one person on this planet he loved more than anything else to decide he was not worth fighting for. 

You were never good enough of a man for her. 

Embry felt the heat slowly release and disappear; suddenly he was freezing. His bare arms and chest erupted in goosebumps, his heart sinking into the pit of his stomach as he repeated it over and over in his mind:

You aren’t good enough. 

You can’t be what she needs.

You’ll never come back from this. 

Embry’s hands trembled, not in anger, but in sadness. He brought them to his face and tried to look anywhere but her eyes. 

A lot had happened to Embry over the last decade: he turned into a giant dog. He found someone he learned to genuinely love – and she broke his heart. His bones had been broken, he had been torn into shreds, he had recovered from everything he thought might break him and yet he stood, heartbroken with tears streaming down his cheeks in front of the person fate had decided was his forever.

And his forever couldn’t handle him. 

His forever didn’t want him. 

Couldn’t be with him because of who he was. 

Embry wanted to change for the better, to be a better man for her. But he was certain there were parts to him he wouldn’t think he should have to change – that he could change. He controlled his temper (for the most part), came home at half-decent hours and always ensured the pantries were full and stocked with food. 

But the part of him that wasn’t in his control, something that had to do with his biological DNA, was the part she disliked the most and it was the main reason why she still kept him at arm’s length. Maybe she had never intended on being his forever – maybe she only wanted to be his now. 

Embry pursed his lips, his hands running down his face, simultaneously wiping the tears from his cheeks and eyes. He exhaled slowly, trying to calm himself before he bothered speaking. “If that’s what you want.” He whispered, completely defeated. 

Ainsley didn’t respond. She tore her eyes from his and cleared her throat, looking down at the sling that her arm rested in. That was more than enough confirmation for him. Embry sniffled once, then stood and turned on his heels towards the stairway and shouldered past Jacob – who had been standing in silence behind him for God knows how long. Embry’s feet didn’t stop when he reached the forest – he didn’t phase, he didn’t let the animal take control. Instead he let the bitter air nip at his bare skin, feet dragged through the snow back in the general direction of the reservation. 

It took Embry three hours to navigate his way home. 

It took him another two before he landed on Emily’s couch, unable to speak or think. The pack gathered around him, offering him comfort and words of encouragement. This was his person – they were going to work it out. All he needed to do was remind her why she fell in love with him to begin with.

It wasn’t until the moon sat high in the sky that he decided to bring Ainsley the Jeep, hoping to utilize it as an excuse to talk to her. When he knocked on the door, it wasn’t Ainsley that answered. It was her brothers. If Embry hadn’t known any better, they could’ve almost passed for twins. When requesting to speak to Ainsley, Travis had plenty to say. 

Embry wasn’t welcome at the Black-Johnson household for as long as Ainsley deemed necessary. That she had no interest in seeing or speaking with him. Travis ensured that she had been very clear: no form of contact whatsoever. No texts. No calls. No contact via a third party member. 

It wasn’t until he closed the broken door to his house that Embry realized what exactly he had done, and what exactly he had lost. 

His body no longer belonged to himself. Everywhere he looked, he was reminded of her. His heart would break all over again, pulling his chest painfully in all sorts of directions. His chest would tighten, he would struggle to breathe, and the only sort of relief was exerting his energy. His hands ripped at the photos lining the walls she picked out. He flipped the couch, he smashed the table into the television. 

The Keurig he had purchased for Christmas flew across the kitchen into the dining room wall. 

He could hear Jared and Seth outside.

As he made his way up the stairs, he knocked over every item on the steps between the railings. Glass covered the floor in the main hallway. His hands tore apart the sheets on the bed, tossing the shreds onto the floor. He used his lamp as a bat to smash the mirror on his wall, the blood was pounding in his ears as the heat finally returned to his body. He could barely hear the sound of his own breathing over the rushing in his body, his fist colliding with the back of his door four times before he ripped it off the hinges and turned to toss it down the stairs – narrowly missing Jared’s head. 

“What did I do?” Embry cried loudly, rubbing his head roughly before he returned to punching holes along the wall. 

What have I fucking done?

#embry call #embry call x oc #embry call fanfic #embry call imagine #kiowa gordon #jacob black #the twilight saga #twilight fanfiction #series: SAH #* mine

[abbatoirablaze]

Daddy Issues, Chapter 2

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings:  implied smut, fingering, nude photographs, age gap

“What the fuck is this, Andrew?”

“Andy, stop,” she giggled, reaching forward and pushing the camera away from his face.  He held it just out of reach and chuckled as she fell back onto his comfortable king size bed, her legs spread for him, “forget the camera for a few minutes and play with me instead…let me make you feel good, daddy…”

Andy growled, watching her.  Her folds were glistening.  He could see just how wet she was for him, and the thought turned him on even more. His cock strained against the sweatpants he wore and he licked his bottom lip as his eyes focused on her dripping core, “that for me, princess?”

“It’s all for you, daddy,” she all but purred, gesturing that he come over, her finger wiggling at him, “come taste me…come play with me, Andy.”

“Just one more?”

He noticed the way that her smirk tugged at the corner of her lips as he sneakily brought the camera back up to his face.  She leaned back, propping herself up on her elbows as she watched him take a step back.  Her back arched, thrusting her breasts forward; the soft globes bouncing as she moaned, throwing her head back, “it’s never just one more.”

“I promise.”

“Press that button and that’s how you’re going to see the rest of tonight,” she warned playfully, “only time you’ll get to pull that camera away is when you kiss me.”

Andy licked his lips, truly contemplating if that was how he wanted to see the rest of the night.  Sure, it was sexy now…but did he only want to see her through a lens of the camera for the rest of the night?

“Andy…”

His throat went dry as she leaned back a little more, two delicate fingers dipping between her folds.  He didn’t realize the camera went off until the flash brought him out of his daze and the small noise that came with it as the film slipped between the slots. Andy dropped the camera to the desk to the side, another low growl escaping his throat as he stalked towards her. 

His large frame towered over hers as the corded muscles in his bare chest rearranged themselves with every small movement.  She shivered as her eyes met his own.

“I’m going to take you apart, princess!” he said huskily.  She gasped and their lips met.  A moan escaping her as she sighed.  Andy balanced himself on one arm as his hips rolled to meet hers.  She whimpered when the soft fabric of the sweatpants blocked her access to his throbbing cock.  He chuckled darkly, his bulge straining against the cotton as she lifted her hips to meet him.

“Please…”

“Please, what, princess?”

“Please daddy…I-I need it.”

“Tell daddy what you need!” he demanded, grinding his hips against hers.  He was quick to swallow her moans with another kiss.  When she pulled away, breathlessly, his hand stroked her cheek, “Tell me, River.”

“I need to feel you, daddy.”

“Where?”

“Inside of me.”

Laurie slapped the polaroid down on the counter.  But instead of Andy paling at the thought of his ex-wife seeing the nude photo of the woman he was fucking, he crossed his arms and leaned back, “What about it, Laurie?”

She scowled. 

He smiled to himself.

In just a few short weeks with River, she’d managed to take away all of his little hang ups.  Public opinion, lest of all his ex-wives, mattered to him anymore.  He didn’t care that people would whisper about him.  About how he managed to get his son off the murder charge.  About how his ex-wife cheated on him with her assistant.  None of it mattered. 

“ANDREW!”

Andy’s baby blue’s shot up to Laurie’s eyes, “What?  What do you want me to say, Laurie?”

“What the fuck is this?” she repeated.

“A beautiful, naked woman…laying on my bed, about ten minutes before I fucked her silly.  Why do you have that picture of her?”

“I found it in Jacob’s desk when I was cleaning up after him!” she seethed.  Her hand slapped at the counter and the picture fluttered once more, “but the real question is why the fuck did our son have access to this?  Far be it by me to even care about who you are sleeping with, but our son shouldn’t ever see anything like that!  A naked girl on his father’s bed?”

“Well, he didn’t take the one where she was sucking my cock, so at least I know where he draws the line,” Andy tried to joke.  Laurie looked at him, shocked by the admission.  He uncrossed his arms and held out a hand to her, “listen Laurie.  I know that look.  I know what you’re thinking.  I didn’t fucking give him the picture.  The little shit borrowed money from my wallet for the movies last weekend when he went out with his friends…that photo was in my wallet at the time.  I thought I dropped it somewhere, but clearly, he took it.  Maybe, if someone had given him some cash before they dropped him off with me, he wouldn’t have even had the opportunity to see it.”

“Come on dad, I just need like twenty bucks,” Jacob groaned, “mom wouldn’t give me any money and she knew that the release was happening.”

“Jac-“

“Let him go, Andy,” River said softly from his side.  Andy gave her a soft look as she shot him a playful wink, “come on…that means we’ll have the house to ourselves for a few hours…”

Andy licked his lips, looking at River, “are you saying what I’m thinking?”

She shot him another playful wink and gently smacked his ass, “only one way to find out, big guy.”

Jacob grimaced, a look of disgust crossing his features as he watched his dad with a girl that was much closer to his seventeen-year-old self, rather than his forty something year old father. 

“Can you guys not do that in front of me?”

River bit her lip, nodding her head, “you’re right.  I’m sorry Jacob…I shouldn’t be doing this in front of you.  It could be an uncomfortable situation…tell you what?   I’m going to go shower, and I’ll take both of you boys out to dinner before you go hang out with your friends for the release…and your father will get you some money.”

Jacob smiled, happy that his father’s new girlfriend was at least on his side for a few things.  His mom and dad had kept a tight leash on him since his early teenage years when he’d been up for the murder charges. 

“Sounds great, River.  Dad?”

Andy sighed, unable to say no to her suggestion.  He gave a half nod, and she kissed him before padding off to the bathroom to grab a shower. 

“You know…I think I like this one.”

“Jacob.”

“What?” he asked playfully, “she’s smoking hot, rich, and nice…normally don’t get that kind of trifecta with girls.  Not to mention the fact that she doesn’t seem crazy.”

“Oh, she’s crazy,” Andy smirked, thinking of their triste from just a few days ago where they’d had a marathon of sex for the whole afternoon and into the early evening after River had sent him a sneaky package and cleared his schedule, “just in the best of ways.”

“You’re gross,” Jacob laughed, immediately understanding what his dad was saying.  Andy chuckled for another second before Jacob bit his lip, “wanna go out and grab the money from the ATM now while she’s getting ready?”

“I should have a twenty in my wallet,” Andy said, not thinking anything of it, “if you wanna grab it then take the trash out to the curb, that’ll be good.”

“Where’s your wallet?”

“My office,” Andy answered shortly, “I think I need to grab a shower too…”

“I don’t want to hear you two going at it…”

“Take your time outside when you take the trash to the curb then,” Andy smirked, padding off down the hall towards the bathroom.  Jake shuddered, not appreciating his dad’s words.  He heard the bathroom door clicking open, and his father’s voice from down the hall, “Well what do we have here…”

“Andy!”

Jacob tried not to think about what was going on down the hall as the bathroom door clicked once again and he went to his father’s office.  Sure enough, his wallet was sitting on the edge of his desk, next to his keys. 

But when Jacob Barber opened up the trifold, it wasn’t the twenty that caught his eye.  It was two polaroids of his dad’s smoking hot girlfriend.  Cringing at the one where he could see part of his dad’s dick, he tucked it back into the wallet.  His eyes were fixed on the one where she was laying on his bed, legs splayed, pussy glistening, and two fingers dipped into the tight channel.

Jacob felt hot all of the sudden, as he noticed the finer details.  Perky, tight breasts.  How her lips were slightly parted, and a vibrant cherry red.  Must have been before the other picture…Her head tossed back ever so slightly so that her thin neck was exposed.  He groaned to himself, wishing that it was him that had taken the picture.  

Jacob’s eyes shot towards the door, instantly worried about being caught with the picture.  He grabbed two twenties out of his dad’s wallet, and the picture, crumpling the bills into his front pocket, while shoving the picture into his back one. 

“Listen, I don’t understand whatever sick fascination it is that you have with her, but it needs to stop,” Laurie said harshly, “you’re nearly twice her age, Andrew!  She’s young enough that she should be dating Jacob, not fucking you!”

Andy’s arms re-crossed as he looked at the picture, “I don’t think you have any say in what happens in my love life, Laurie…you gave that up when you cheated on me with your little assistant, remember?”

“You’re a grown man, Andy.”

“And she’s a consenting, adult woman.”

“Your little schoolgirl fantasy is sick,” she hissed, taking a few steps away from her ex-husband, “you need to grow up and get over it, before it starts seriously affecting our son.  What would his friends say if they saw this?  What about their parents?”

“I’d probably get a lot of congratulations, and a lot more high fives,” Andy said smugly.  Laurie narrowed her eyes at her ex-husband, and he smiled, “if you’re jealous that I found someone younger that’s interested in me, Laurie, just say it.”

“I’m not jealous of her…” Laurie huffed, “I’m not jealous of that little brat heiress, River Takashi.  I just think that what you’re doing is wrong.”

“Thanks for the lesson in morals, but I think I’ll switch professors.”

“Do you always have to be such a sarcastic, snarky asshole to me anymore, Andy?”

“Yes Laurie…I do.”

River shifted uncomfortably in her chair as she looked to the quiet man in front of her.  Andy had barely said more than a few words over dinner.  He wasn’t his normal lively, flirty self tonight, and she was wondering if something had happened, but she didn’t know how to ask it. 

Biting the bullet, she took a sip of her wine, “is everything okay, Andy?”

He shook his head, looking like as though he was bringing himself out of a deep thought and back towards their conversation, “I’m sorry…what did you say?”

“Did something happen with Laurie today?”

He furrowed his brows, “what?”

“You get this look any time you see Laurie,” she said swiftly, taking another sip, “you look like someone killed your dog.”

“I don’t have a dog.”

“Figure of speech,” she shrugged.  Andy took a deep breath, and she sighed; reaching over and grabbing his hands in her own, “talk to me…”

“Jacob went into my wallet and took the polaroid of you on my bed,” Andy muttered, feeling embarrassed that he had them in such an easy to reach location.  River blushed, having not thought about the polaroid after they’d been taken.  But knowing that Andy’s son saw them made her nervous, “Laurie just berated me about…whatever this is.”

“Well…what is this?”

“I don’t know,” Andy admitted as he shook his head, “I know that I like what we’re doing…but I feel like just when I’m comfortable something happens that fucks that up.”

“Like Laurie.”

“Like Laurie,” he agreed sadly.  And sure enough as he said that he noticed Laurie and her assistant at the maître d station.  Andy gave a heavy sigh, “jesus…it’s like if I even talk about her she shows up.”

“Lets get out of here.”

“What?”

“Come on…” she smiled.  She waved over the waitress and paid the bill, then she held her hand out to Andy, “let’s go…”

“Where are we going?” he asked, “I thought you wanted to go out to a new installation.”

“Well, right now, I want to go home with you…fuck art the installation,” she smiled.  Andy gave another sigh, only this one was a contented one, “are you coming, or did you want to stay here and glare at Laurie while she and her boyfriend wait for a table.”

“You’re right…let’s go home, princess!” Andy nodded.

Chapter 3

#andy barber #andy barber smut #defending jacob #daddy k!nk #daddy issues

[carewyncromwell]

"Don't talk 'bout me

Like how you might know how I feel --

Top of the world, but your world isn't real...

Your world's an ideal...

So go have fun -- I really couldn't care less."

~"Therefore I Am" by Billie Eilish

x~x~x~x

When Carewyn Cromwell first joined the Department of Magical Law Enforcement as an up-and-coming lawyer in the spring of 1991, Cornelius Fudge -- the Minister for Magic -- was very eager to welcome her and show support for her budding career. It didn't take long for Carewyn to figure out that Fudge had heard all about her and her brother Jacob's exploits dealing with the Cursed Vaults and apprehending R -- not just from Dumbledore, but from OWL examiner Professor Tofty and infamous Auror Mad-Eye Moody -- and although Carewyn had had plenty of people side-eye her for her dealing with the Vaults at school, it seemed Fudge held no such disapproval. On the contrary, he seemed very keen on interacting with Carewyn, especially around his support staff and the rest of the Wizengamot. And it wasn't until Carewyn finally met him (as well as his Senior Undersecretary, Dolores Umbridge) that she figured out why.

Carewyn had known she wouldn't be the first Cromwell that sought a career in Magical Law. Her Head of House, Severus Snape, purposefully brought it up to her in their Career Advice session, to make sure she was aware that -- at the time of her interest -- Carewyn's ruthless grandfather, Charles Cromwell, was an influential member of the Wizengamot. After Charles's arrest and lifetime imprisonment, the Cromwell Clan's reputation had understandably been tarnished. Carewyn and Jacob's reputations, however, were shining and pristine, because they were the Cromwells who had actually defeated Charles and the rest of R and in the process saved Hogwarts from the danger of the Cursed Vaults. And considering that Fudge was related to the Cromwell Clan through marriage (a fact that still left Carewyn reeling) and had apparently done his fair share of socializing with Charles Cromwell while unaware of his crimes, it was very clear that Fudge wanted to distance himself from that old association, preferably by being on good terms with the people who'd brought Charles to justice. And since Carewyn was now pursuing a promising new career at the Ministry, Fudge had clearly deemed it in his best interest to throw his support behind Carewyn, so as to have her esteem and reputation likewise reflect nicely on him.

So Fudge only has interest in being around people who make him look good, rather than anyone with actual integrity, Carewyn thought cynically. Guess I shouldn't be surprised that the chief politician around here acts like it.

Despite herself, though, Carewyn was disappointed. All the more so when she learned in the spring of 1993 just how self-absorbed the man was, despite being given charge of the entire British Wizarding World.

It all started when -- in the midst of a busy night shift -- Carewyn's meeting with fellow lawyer Chester Davies was interrupted by her old school friend Ben Copper bursting into her office.

"Carewyn," he said urgently, "Hagrid's been arrested."

Both Carewyn and Chester whirled around.

"What!?" they cried in unison.

"How can that be?" Chester immediately followed up, sounding confused. "I didn't even know Hagrid was under investigation -- let alone charged with anything..."

He looked to Carewyn as if to ask if she had, but Carewyn wasn't paying attention. She got up from her chair and strolled around her desk over to Ben, taking hold of his shoulder and steering him into the office so she could close the door.

"Tell me everything," she said seriously.

Ben rested his forehead on his clenched fist as he propped his elbow against the wall of Carewyn's office.

"I was just finishing up my work for the day, when I saw Hagrid by the Floo grates with two Hitwizards, talking to Cornelius Fudge," he explained. "Fudge was apologizing, saying something about 'it just being a precaution' and that he was sure once things at Hogwarts settled down, he'd be able to go about his business as usual. Fudge even tried to tell Hagrid that Azkaban shouldn't really be that bad for him -- "

Ben looked absolutely disgusted repeating back such a blatant lie. Carewyn was just as furious herself.

"'Shouldn't be that bad?'" she repeated, her soft voice nonetheless dripping with horror and umbrage. "What, does he think only violent criminals are affected by dementors?"

"Likely!" Ben spat, his brown eyes flashing with righteous anger. "I went over and asked what was going on, and Hagrid explained that it was because of the whole 'Chamber of Secrets' mess. Fudge didn't seem to want to talk about it and kind of just blustered the same rubbish he'd said to Hagrid -- claimed the Hogwarts school governors had been concerned and he'd thought he should take measures to 'reassure' them and the public -- "

"Reassure them?" said Chester, his mouth falling open in disbelief. "But -- you can't mean -- the Minister can't really think that Hagrid opened the Chamber of Secrets?"

"No -- but apparently because Hagrid was expelled right after the Chamber of Secrets opened the first time, Fudge is perfectly willing to throw him under the bus anyway, just to make it look like he's doing something," Ben said vindictively. "Apparently he's letting the exact same thing happen to Dumbledore too."

"What do you mean?" said Carewyn, her eyebrows furrowing.

Ben leaned his back up against the wall, crossing his arms.

"Hagrid said that Dumbledore and Fudge had come to see him at his hut about an hour ago, when Lucius Malfoy crashed the meeting out of nowhere, just to round Dumbledore up and expel him from the grounds. Apparently that snake Malfoy somehow got all of the other school governors to sign off on the proposal."

The mention of Lucius Malfoy made Carewyn's eyes flare with resentment. Of course Malfoy would be the sort to take advantage of a bad situation to try to oust his old master You-Know-Who's greatest enemy.

"But -- but taking Dumbledore away could only make things worse," said Chester. He clearly had a hard time making sense of all this. "Surely the Minister wouldn't agree to that? He's gone to Dumbledore for advice for years..."

"But how could Fudge have arrested Hagrid in the first place?" Carewyn rerouted the conversation sharply. "The Hitwizards can't arrest anyone without the charges first going through the Department of Magical Law Enforcement...how fast must the charges have gone through, for Chester and me not to have heard anything about them?"

"That's because Fudge didn't involve the Hitwizards or the Wizengamot at first," Ben said coldly. "The Hitwizards I saw looked just as surprised by what they were hearing as I was...even if they did end up going lockstep with Fudge and took Hagrid away through the grate anyway. I reckon Fudge just asked Hagrid to come with him quietly, so he wouldn't have to get the Hitwizards involved..."

"Or have his activities draw too much attention," Carewyn finished.

Her low voice evoked the rumbles of an earthquake as she swept to the door. Opening it, she glanced over her shoulder at Chester, her blue eyes blazing with righteous fire despite the stoicism of her face.

"Chester...I'm afraid I'll have to leave you to finish editing the case file," she said curtly.

"What are you planning to do?" asked Chester.

"Speak to Madam Bones. Hagrid needs a lawyer, and I intend to be it."

x~x~x~x

It only took a half-hour for Carewyn to blaze through all the paperwork needed to become Hagrid's official legal counsel. Unfortunately Azkaban's visiting hours were only from sun-up to sun-down, with each visitor only being allowed an hour each day with a Patronus escort either provided by the warden or conjured by the visitor themselves. The conditions were very familiar to Carewyn -- she'd been reminded them every time she chose to visit Patricia Rakepick in her lonely cell block.

When Carewyn finally made it to Azkaban first thing the next morning and was led to the cell Hagrid had been squeezed into, she found the poor gamekeeper crumpled up in a huge ball, sobbing like a child.

"Dad -- 'm sorry, Dad -- "

Even with her Abraxan Winged Horse Patronus protecting her from the dementors' influence, Carewyn could feel a cold, ocean-like wave of despair crash over her, just looking at Hagrid. Her almond-shaped blue eyes welled up with empathetic pain.

"...Oh, Hagrid..."

She clutched the bars of his cell with her free hand as her Patronus swept through the bars, lightly brushing its nose along Hagrid's arm. Hagrid choked, blinking up through his tears as he shakily raised his head.

"...W...wha'...?"

The grief and paleness of Hagrid's usually rosy, happy face broke Carewyn's heart. She could feel her own eyes welling up with traces of tears as she tried to smile at him.

"It's me, Hagrid," Carewyn said gently. "It's Carewyn."

Hagrid's beetle-black eyes widened. Then, just as abruptly, they flooded with even more tears, which streamed down his face like pouring rain might streak down a windowpane.

"...Carewyn..."

He couldn't keep himself from breaking down into full sobs as he crawled over and slapped his oversized hands up against the bars -- they were too small for him to grab them the way Carewyn had. Even so, Carewyn tried to take his hand as best she could, even if it only resulted in her holding his pinky and ring finger.

"It's okay, Hagrid," Carewyn whispered as soothingly as she could. Her Abraxan Patronus gently rested its transparent wing over Hagrid's shoulder and rested its head beside his arm. "It's going to be okay..."

x~x~x~x

It took sitting with Carewyn and her Patronus for a couple of minutes before Hagrid was able to speak coherently. He told Carewyn everything that had happened, including the reason Fudge had thought he could be behind the attacks in the first place.

"...Th' whole lot thought that he'd been what hurt poor Myrtle Warren, bu' -- bu' I'm tellin' you, Aragog wouldn't-a done it!" said Hagrid. "I tol' 'em that at th' time too...bu' only Professor Dumbledore believed me..."

Carewyn nodded. That sounded about right -- for as much as she resented Dumbledore, the Headmaster had always supported Hagrid. And given the Headmaster's own talent for Legilimency, Carewyn suspected Dumbledore knew full-well Hagrid was telling the truth, just as much as she herself was certain of it. But she also knew that her intuitions based on her Legilimency couldn't be used as evidence of either guilt or innocence...and even if Hagrid didn't believe Aragog was the beast from the Chamber of Secrets and Carewyn doubted it as well, plenty of people could see the circumstances as pretty damning, on their own.

"And because no one else believed you, Headmaster Dippet expelled you with the thought that it would make the attacks stop," surmised Carewyn.

Hagrid hung his head. "...Yeah. An' well...th' attacks did stop, after tha'. Dunno why, aside from th' person maybe decidin' t' cut 'is losses..."

Carewyn's lips came together grimly as she looked at the floor. The gamekeeper's face went that little bit paler as his eyes flooded with fresh tears.

"Yeh -- yeh don't think I did it, d'yeh?" he said desperately. "I-I would never! I woulda never hurt 'em -- Nick an' Mrs. Norris, an' -- an' poor Hermione -- oh, Carewyn, I never woulda -- !"

Carewyn gave Hagrid's pinky a reassuring squeeze.

"I know, Hagrid," she said firmly. "I know you didn't do it. All of those Pureblood wizarding families that claimed to be related to Salazar Slytherin have died out -- and trust me, 'Hagrid' was not one of them. And the beast inside the Chamber of Secrets was supposedly put there by Salazar Slytherin around the time he and the other four Founders made the Cursed Vaults, back in the 9th century. Acromantula weren't bred until the 18th century. Aragog couldn't be Slytherin's monster."

Her eyes softened.

"...And I know you, Hagrid. You love everyone at Hogwarts, even the brattiest students. I know you would never do anything to hurt them."

Hagrid's teary eyes crinkled up to make room for a very weak, watery smile.

"...Thank you, Carewyn," he gave a loud sniff. "It...it means a lot...knowin' yeh believe in me..."

Carewyn gave a gentle pat to his hand through the bars. Hagrid gave another loud sniff.

"...D'yeh...d'yeh know if the Wizengamot'll be able t' stop Malfoy? Get 'em t' bring Dumbledore back?"

Carewyn pursed her lips grimly. "There's nothing for them to stop, at present. The school governors' job is to oversee the school and its Headmaster -- them asking Dumbledore to resign is a completely legal action for them to take."

Hagrid looked distressed. "Bu' -- bu' withou' Dumbledore there, everyone'll be in more danger than ever! Professor Dumbledore was likely the only thing that kept th' Heir o' Slytherin from goin' all out -- "

"That doesn't mean the Wizengamot can overrule the governors' decision," Carewyn said sternly. She then said a bit more gently, "...I know how much you respect Dumbledore -- and you're right, Dumbledore has warded Dark wizards away from the school before..."

Not that he was able to prevent R from sending Jacob and me threats, but they still didn't feel bold enough to show up in full-force until Dumbledore was away...

"...But however foolish their decision might be, it doesn't break any laws. And law enforcement is meant for that purpose -- enforcing laws that have been broken."

Hagrid looked incredibly disheartened.

"They're gonna regret it later," he muttered miserably. "Yeh jus' wait an' see..."

Carewyn gave Hagrid's pinky another light squeeze, exhaling quietly through her nose.

She thought so too -- but she was so unhappy just contemplating the consequences that she didn't have to heart to say so.

x~x~x~x

The consequences, as it turned out, were even worse than Carewyn could've envisioned.

After going out for an afternoon coffee break with Talbott one May day, Carewyn found the Ministry Atrium in disarray, with multiple owls flying in and out of the offices of the Minister of Magic and his support staff and nosy reporters crowding around in an attempt to figure out what was going on.

Tonks emerged from the crowd and filled them in -- apparently the reporters had heard rumors that there'd been another attack at Hogwarts by the Heir of Slytherin, this time with a student actually being taken into the Chamber itself. It was only once Talbott convinced Tonks to change herself temporarily into one of Dolores Umbridge's staffers so she could force her way through the reporters and get more information from the support staff herself that she found out who it was -- and when the pink-haired Auror caught up with Talbott and Carewyn in the Atrium, her heart-shaped face was as white as a sheet.

"Weasley," Tonks whispered shakily. "Fudge said the girl's name was Weasley..."

Talbott's shoulders stiffened as Carewyn's hands flew to her mouth in horror.

"Ginny," she gasped.

x~x~x~x

Talbott, Tonks, and Carewyn all bolted to the lift, taking it up to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement where they could use the Auror Department's Floo Network grate specifically meant for communication. Upon trying to contact the Burrow, however, Carewyn found the house quiet and deserted.

"Are they not there?" Tonks asked Carewyn anxiously as she took her head out of the grate. The ginger-haired lawyer shook her head.

"The school must've contacted Mr. and Mrs. Weasley as soon as it happened," Talbott said solemnly.

Carewyn nodded, her red lips knitting together tightly. "I've got to write to Bill and Charlie right away -- "

"I'll go to Hogsmeade," said Talbott at once. "There might be more information, closer to the school..."

"And I'll go back downstairs!" Tonks agreed. "Maybe I'll pick up some more intel, huddled in with all those reporters -- "

The three dispersed, with Talbott and Tonks heading back to the lift and Carewyn heading to her office. Once she'd very quickly written out a letter each for Bill and Charlie and put all of the expediting stamps on them that she possibly could, she then set about writing another more formal letter to Azkaban prison. Then she raced back to the lift, gave Bill and Charlie's letters to the two fastest owls she could find, and then headed straight for the Minister for Magic's office with the final piece of paper in her hand. The tiny ginger-haired lawyer had some trouble pushing her way through the crowd of reporters until Tonks -- disguised as one of them and therefore much taller and more muscular than usual -- managed to push everyone back enough that it gave her an opening.

When Carewyn reached the slightly open door of the Minister for Magic's office, she didn't even bother to knock the way she probably would've in any other circumstance. Quite frankly she didn't think the Minister would've heard her knock even if she tried, and if he did, he likely would've tried to ignore it, given how much owls were swooping in and out of his office and how noisy it was outside.

"Minister!" Carewyn said urgently.

Fudge looked up, incredibly startled. He'd been pacing the room, one letter in his hands and five left more open on his desk. His trademark light green bowler hat was hanging off the side of his high-backed chair, and he looked incredibly harried.

"Carewyn!" said Fudge, trying and failing to smile. "How nice it is to see you!"

Once Carewyn was in, she immediately shut the door behind her so sharply that Fudge gave a start.

"Ah -- forgive me, my dear, but...I'm afraid I'm very busy at the moment --"

"I know," said Carewyn. "Minister -- I need you to sign a release letter for Rubeus Hagrid."

Fudge was taken aback. "Hagrid? I-I don't -- "

"If the Heir of Slytherin has taken Ginny Weasley into the Chamber of Secrets, then he's still at Hogwarts," Carewyn said sharply. "Therefore Hagrid is innocent."

"Well, yes, but...that'll be dealt with, in due time," said Fudge with an attempt at a reassuring smile as he put down the letter in his hands and started to make a stack of it with the others. "I'll be sure to send along a proper letter to Azkaban, once I get these papers in order, and calm the press -- "

"You needn't send anything," Carewyn cut him off firmly. "I've already written out a formal release, and I'll be happy to deliver it myself -- you only need to sign it."

She put the letter down smack-dab in the center of his desk, right on over the stack of parchment he was organizing. Fudge, however, seemed hesitant to look at it, and instead busied himself with consulting the stack.

"Ah, well...I do appreciate your initiative, Carewyn," Fudge said in a weak attempt at indulgence, "but as I said, this...all will be dealt with, in due time. Now I'm truly sorry, but I'm afraid we'll have to speak more later -- I do have so much to do, in the light of all this -- "

"Minister!" Carewyn said, clearly upset.

" -- responding to all these letters from the governors, from Minerva McGonagall, from Arthur Weasley -- coordinating a response, for all press releases, and sending it along to the Prophet -- all before heading out to the school myself, to ascertain the gravity of the situation -- "

Carewyn could hear Fudge's rambling, but it was oddly muffled, in her own ears. Because of her Legilimency, she could sense Fudge's feelings wafting off of him just as clearly as she could hear him with her ears -- and in that moment, when she herself was so urgent, all she could feel from Fudge was the desire to run. To avoid, to push away, to ignore -- to not deal with his terrible mistake at that moment, and instead just try to make himself look as capable as he could to the public at large --

All that Carewyn could feel coming off of Fudge was cowardice.

And it was this that made Carewyn cut into his rambling with the cold sharpness of a knife.

"Minister."

Carewyn managed to catch Fudge's eye, and when he made eye contact with her, his voice immediately died in his throat. Her almond-shaped blue eyes were burning with a kind of cold disapproval the likes of which he'd never seen.

"I realize that you wish to be seen as a compassionate and attentive leader," Carewyn said very softly. "But trust that, in leaving an innocent person locked up in a prison manned by creatures that can drive people mad with their Dark aura alone -- when all you'd have to do to help him is sign your name...you currently appear as anything but."

Fudge opened his mouth, trying to stammer out a weak attempt at a stern response. "N-now, Carewyn -- I-I already told you I'd deal with -- "

But Carewyn merely picked up the release letter again and slapped it right back down on the desk in front of him.

"Minister -- you've already wrongfully sent a man to Azkaban before he'd even been formally charged with a crime," she murmured. "All while being quite certain he hadn't committed the crime in the first place, to the point that you reassured him that he'd probably be released 'once things settled down.'"

Carewyn's blue eyes narrowed.

"...Don't shame yourself further."

The Minister's face had lost quite a bit of its color as he stared at Carewyn. He rather shakily lowered himself down into his chair, regarding Carewyn with a wariness he never had before. Then, looking almost cowed, he averted his eyes, reached for the quill in the inkpot at his desk, and signed the release letter. He mutely held the letter out for Carewyn to take.

"Thank you," Carewyn said quietly.

She turned on her heel and headed for the door. When she opened it, ten owls swooped in, flocking around Fudge's desk and raining even more letters onto and around his desk.

"If I may make a suggestion, Minister," Carewyn said a bit more levelly as she left, "going to Hogwarts right now to deal with the problem would both make you look more proactive and give you some relief from all these letters."

Without waiting for Fudge's response, Carewyn left his office. Once she'd pushed her way through the crowd of reporters (even taking out her wand at one point to better coax them back), she dashed over to the closest Floo Network grate, snatching up some Powder in her free hand and chucking it down at her heeled feet as she climbed in.

"Azkaban Prison!"

And in a burst of emerald green flames, Carewyn had disappeared.

x~x~x~x

Once Hagrid had been released from his cell, Carewyn brought him with her to her mother Lane's new cottage, out in the country. The half-giant was still in pretty poor shape after his three-week-long stint in Azkaban, and since Carewyn knew he'd never fit in her tiny London flat, she figured at least Lane's new home would be a comfortable place to get Hagrid fed and healed and await further news from the Weasleys and Hogwarts.

As the night wore on, Carewyn received a few short updates from Tonks and Talbott -- Hogwarts was going to be closed; the girl's parents were at the school; the school governors were convening for a secret closed-door meeting. It wasn't until very early the following morning that Carewyn, Hagrid, and Lane received the news they'd all been hoping for, in the form of a long letter from Mrs. Weasley.

Carewyn dear, Bill wrote to Arthur and me telling me of your letter to him, so after following up with him and Charlie via Floo, I thought it best to write to you straightaway. Ginny is all right. My son Ron, his friend Harry, and their Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, Gilderoy Lockhart, were able to locate the Chamber of Secrets, and Harry, bless him, was able to both kill Slytherin's monster (a basilisk! Merlin's beard, I was terrified, thinking of that poor boy facing off against that thing!) and rescue Ginny. Arthur and I are so grateful, even now I still can't stop crying. We're so relieved to know Ginny's safe, and that Ron and Harry are both safe as well. Unfortunately poor Gilderoy Lockhart apparently had his memory wiped...at his own hand, no less! He actually had the audacity to try to modify my son's memory! I suppose it's true what they say about never meeting your heroes!! Oh well, it seems Professor Dumbledore will have to find yet another Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher for next year. Oh, yes, I nearly forgot -- Dumbledore has returned to Hogwarts! Apparently all of the school governors (excluding Lucius Malfoy) heard about what happened to Ginny and immediately sent a letter to Dumbledore begging for him to come back. And he did, of course -- he was so gentle with Ginny, after her ordeal... Oh, but Carewyn dear, truly, I cannot thank you enough for caring so much for Bill and Charlie. Arthur had sent them his own letters not long before we left for Hogwarts, but from what I understand, your letters reached both Bill and Charlie well before Arthur's did, and I appreciate you trying so hard to make sure they knew what was going on as quickly as possible. Arthur and I send our love, and Ginny as well. Do consider coming over to the Burrow for a visit sometime soon -- Ginny was a bit cheered at the thought of having "another girl" over for dinner! Your mother and brother are more than welcome as well, if they're available. Arthur would be delighted to know what your mother thinks about pinball machines. All our love, Molly Weasley

Not long later, Hagrid returned to Hogwarts, and Carewyn returned to work at the Ministry. It was when she returned to the Ministry that Carewyn noticed Cornelius Fudge's attitude toward her had gone through a considerable change. When she arrived in the Atrium, she caught sight of the Minister likewise heading into work. At the sight of her, Fudge immediately approached her -- but his smile was not as wide open and overly amiable as it was before.

"Hello, Miss Cromwell," he said.

Carewyn blinked. "...Minister."

Fudge inclined his head respectfully. Taking a quick glance around the Atrium, he then spoke a bit more stridently.

"...Professor Dumbledore told me that Hagrid has settled himself back in nicely. He expressed admiration, for your defense of him...Madam Bones did, as well."

Carewyn frowned as her eyes drifted off toward the lift.

"Hagrid was my client," she said simply. "It was my job to advocate for his well-being. And it wasn't either lawful or right for him to remain imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit."

To Carewyn's surprise, Fudge's pleasant expression actually seemed to crack a bit, betraying something strangely insecure.

"I suppose so," said the Minister a bit stiffly. "Well then, Miss Cromwell...I'm afraid I must be off."

He paused. Then, forcing a slightly more politician-worthy smile, he asked, "I hope...I might likewise call on you in the future...should I wish for an expert legal opinion? Madam Bones does speak very highly of your abilities as a lawyer, you know."

Carewyn cocked her eyebrows in surprise. She honestly wasn't expecting that.

"...Of course," she said, once she'd recovered.

Fudge tipped his lime green bowler to her, before turning and sweeping away toward his office. As Carewyn watched him go, she couldn't help but frown.

It was bizarre -- it didn't feel like Fudge disliked her now or anything after she'd so coldly called him out in his office. Even so, there was a wall around his feelings that wasn't there before: something guarded. And yet it didn't seem suspicious or mistrustful. If anything, it felt almost formal: like Fudge was standing that bit taller and being that bit more detached and dignified than before. Less like he was trying to buddy up to Carewyn and use her as a prop to elevate himself and more like how an employer would treat a high-ranked employee...

And then it hit her.

Fudge had called her "Miss Cromwell." Not "Carewyn," not "Carewyn, my dear" -- but "Miss Cromwell." In the same sort of respectful tone of voice he'd use for Madam Bones and other older, respectable Ministry employees.

He was speaking to Carewyn not like a child that he could coax onto his side through coddling and fawning...but as an adult he wished to coax onto his side through decidedly more political means.

Carewyn's red lips came together tightly as she turned and headed for the lift, tossing her much shorter ginger bob off her neck.

Well, even if Fudge was truly nothing but a politician at heart, at least now he saw her as an adult who wouldn't become his sycophant just because he acted nice to her.

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #my writing #carewyn cromwell #cornelius fudge #rubeus hagrid #ginny weasley #ben copper #chester davies #nymphadora tonks #talbott winger #lane cromwell #molly weasley #fanfiction #*snorts* sorry fudge but you're never going to be able to coax carewyn onto your side #even if she does end up playing the role of a dutiful subordinate enough that you let her help with the whole high inquisitor thing #she only ends up doing it to rip it down later bc hey someone's gotta put the brakes on your stupidity #honestly carewyn ends up being a really shady b**tch when it comes to fudge despite being such a paragon #but hey in her defense it's hard for her to feel warm toward a guy who was so blind to how toxic and awful her grandfather and uncle are #and who is such a typical politician that he'll cowardly slink around trying to make himself look good rather than really take charge #carewyn is a paragon but she's also a slytherin so she's not above being sneaky or manipulative to achieve her ends

[caesurah-tblr]

I’m surprise no one has brought up an Actor AU. Just think about it:

-90% of Dylan’s lines are improvised in some capacity.

-He and Nick always try to make everyone else laugh when they’re doing their scenes.

-Chris and Ryan grow really close during filming. They go out for coffee sometimes.

-Laura makes weird faces when the camera isn’t focused on her to get a laugh out of whoever she’s working with. She and Travis definitely have to multiple takes of the interrogation scene.

-Established Radioheads. Dylan “messes” up the firepit scene so he gets to kiss his boyfriend. The director threatens to replace him multiple times throughout filming.

-Established Blygbank. Sometimes Abi makes a cute face when during her and Emma’s scenes and she can’t help but lean over and kiss her. This poor director.

-Nick and Jacob break into the Peanut Butter Butter Pops theme at random moments. It makes the group groan every time.

-Dylan breaks into the props and steals his “hand” that he puts in places that he knows people will find it. He’s got everyone at this point with it. It gets locked up for everyone’s safety.

#the quarry #there’s definitely more #they get into so much shenanigans on set #their poor director loves but hates them so much

[frizz22]

Green with Envy

Note: Okay, I haven’t had the chance to start watching season 2 yet, but saw some gifs of Melissa in 2x02 in the green shirt both at the school and home and had some thoughts and assumptions, haha. Hope you enjoy!

Read on AO3

Technically, Barbara thought, as her eyes dipped to the edge of the fabric again, it wouldn’t meet the definition of a shirt; what Melissa was wearing.

No.

Shirts, shirts were meant to cover more of that pale, soft skin, meant to be more modest. The green material qualified as a camisole at best, of that she was certain. Sure, Melissa had a jacket over top, but it was fitted as well and, if anything, it accentuated her figure further.

She hadn’t noticed at first, when they chatted at the start of the day, hadn’t noticed just how low cut the top was. No, she didn’t notice until lunch and a bit of sauce dripped onto Melissa’s chest, and she swore, wiping at the offending blob with a napkin.

It was then an image of her using her tongue to clean the sauce off that soft skin instead assailed Barbara and had her choking on her salad. Completely unaware of where Barbara’s mind had gone, Melissa thumped her helpfully on the back.

When the fit passed, Barbara made a concentrated effort to keep her gaze on Melissa’s face. Thankfully, her friend partially turned in her chair again, returning to her conversation with Janine and Jacob and hadn’t noticed her gawking.

Unfortunately, this position also meant Melissa had one arm bent and propped onto the back of her chair while the other rested on the table, inadvertently putting her wonderfully highlighted assets further on display.

Dragging her eyes away once more, Barbara pointedly turned to her water to take a sip only to immediately make eye contact with Ava who’d appeared in the door at some point.

Lips pursed in amusement, Ava cocked a brow at Barbara and then glanced at Melissa. Then she brought her eyes back to Barbara, something positively wicked there that had Barbara swallowing nervously.

Wholly wanting to avoid any kind of confrontation in the break room, because Ava had the discretion of a stampeding elephant, Barbara made a hasty excuse to head back to her classroom early, shoving what remained of her lunch into the trash and waving off Melissa’s offer to join her; all but running from the break room.

Ava, of course, dogged her heels. “Ohoho, Barbara!” She practically sang. “I didn’t know you were finally ready to play both sides.” Her brows waggled suggestively.

Heat spreading across her cheeks and the back of her neck, Barbara kept going, hoping to lose Ava if she didn’t acknowledge her…. But what did she mean by ‘finally’?

Undeterred, Ava kept pace with that odd prancing walk of hers. “I mean, I knew Schemmenti did,” she commented blithely, while Barbara whipped to face her. Oblivious to her astonishment, Ava plowed ahead. “You’d be cute together. First relationship after the divorce, right?” She finally focused on Barbara enough to read her dumbstruck expression. “What? I pay attention to your lives. It’s been months since you and Jarred—“ she ignored Barbara’s halfhearted correction of Gerald—, "split. Enjoy yourself.” When Barbara continued to bluster, Ava started typing into her phone. “Don’t be a prude. No straight woman stares at another woman’s chest like that. Besides, you’ve been crushing on each other for ages, all the flirting you two do.” Fake gagging, Ava finally looked up from her phone. “Just be glad she isn’t teaching middle school, there’d be all kinds of baby boners popping up.” Her expression was devilish now as an actual cackle emanated from her.

“Ava!” Barbara hissed, horrified and unsure how to even begin to address a statement that was so inappropriate.

Rolling her eyes, Ava shrugged. “Oh please, you know it’s true. And don’t pretend you don’t have a lady boner yourself, Barbara. I see you, all hot and bothered.” With a final arch of her brow, Ava tossed her hair over her shoulder and walked away.

An indignant huff escaping her, Barbara pushed into her classroom, unable to wrap her mind around what Ava just said. The sheer audacity and inappropriateness, it was a new level, even for Ava. Except….

She sighed. Except Ave wasn’t entirely wrong about how she looked at Melissa back in the break room.

And it was as if some switch had been flipped in her head. All afternoon, Barbara found her mind wandering into daydreams. It didn’t help that naptime left her free of distractions. And when she and Melissa slipped into the library to pick up materials for their lessons the next afternoon, all Barbara could think about was her desire to press Melissa against the shelves and kiss the woman senseless as Barbara’s hands roamed and acquainted themselves with those curves.

While Barbara may have been able to blame Ava for throwing her mind further in the gutter, Barbara was relieved to see the often ridiculous woman parked in the library, thoroughly distracting Melissa from the tension Barbara was sure would’ve been felt between them otherwise.

She barely made it to the end of the day. Even went so far as to back out of Melissa’s invitation for everyone to come to her house and learn more about cooking; Barbara knew she’d give it all away if in Melissa’s house, even with their coworkers there. So, despite Melissa’s slightly crestfallen expression—and was Barbara reading too much into it to consider it crestfallen?—She went home.

But… as she sat alone, Barbara found she couldn’t stay home. Not with Ava’s words echoing in her head about Melissa ‘playing both sides’ or about how the two of them always flirted.

Which, that is to say, is how Barbara found herself in front of Melissa’s door, hoping against hope that everyone had politely left at 8:30 as Melissa had decreed when she initially extended the invite and that there were no lollygaggers.

Barbara had made sure to note that there were no cars in the drive, so she took a deep breath and knocked.

“I swear Janine, whatever you forgot this time, you could’ve texted me and I’d have brought whatever it is to school tomo—“ Melissa’s affectionately exasperated voice sounded through the door before she answered, and it only to cut off when she realized it was Barbara on the other side. “Oh, hey,” her entire demeanor softening, Melissa stepped aside, a wide smile on her face. “Come on in. You missed everyone else, though maybe that was the point.” A chuckle rumbled through her as she shut the door behind them.

Of course, she was still wearing that sinful camisole, though it was now under a jean button up shirt that was entirely unbuttoned. Another image of her leaving a mark on that creamy skin, just along the edge of the camisole appeared in Barbara’s mind as she entered, and she had to shake herself in order to focus. “What? I’m sorry, I was woolgathering.” She offered to Melissa when the woman gave her a perplexed look.

Brow arching, Melissa crossed her arms. “I asked if you wanted some wine… but maybe you don’t need anything that fogs that brain of yours any further. Not unless you want to spend the night, which, of course, is always an option. You know the spare room is yours.” She said this nonchalantly over her shoulder as she poured them both some wine despite her words.

Happily accepting the glass, Barbara set her purse on the coffee table and took a deep drink before sitting on the couch next to Melissa. “For once in her life, I think Ava made an astute observation.” She announced, diving right in before she lost her nerve… or mind; stay the night!

Snorting, Melissa curled her feet underneath her. “Bound to happen sometime, right? All the shit she spouts off?” Melissa propped her elbow on the back of the couch and rested her head on her fist. “What did our ‘enlightened’ principal have to say?” Her lips curled into a mischievous grin as she waited.

Her eyes carefully on Melissa’s face, Barbara swallowed another sip of wine, praying Ava was just as right about Melissa as she was about Barb herself, before plunging ahead. “She mentioned I was ready to date again.”

The news made Melissa sit up straighter. “And why does Ava know this before me?” She demanded, tone only a little bit playful.

Barbara tried to smile and was sure she failed. “Because she caught me staring at someone.” She supplied weakly, losing her nerve despite her earlier bravado.

Eyes widening almost comically fast, Melissa leaned in. “That, that means, it’s someone at school!” She exclaimed. “Barbara! You’re killing me here, which parent?” When Barbara frowned at the assumption, Melissa smirked. “Please, I know it’s not a coworker. I’ve met them all, and honey, none of them are worthy of you.”

“It’s not a parent!” She objected, forgetting her nerves for a moment and shoving at Melissa’s knee; as though she would lose all professionalism!

Melissa pressed her lips together at this in an attempt to control her expression, an attempt that failed, and one of concern and a bit of disgust flickered there next. “Don’t, don’t tell me it’s Mr. Johnson.” She pled, hand coming over to rest on Barbara’s forearm. “Barbara, he’s a good guy, but he’s, he’s….” Clearly having trouble finding a diplomatic word, Melissa sighed. “I don’t think the two of you have much in common. It wouldn’t be a good fit. You deserve—"

A laugh escaping her, Barbara covered Melissa’s hand with her own. “I promise it’s not Mr. Johnson. Girl…” she tsked, shaking her head at the relieved expression on her friend’s face.

Throwing her free hand up, Melissa shrugged. “Then who?!”

Cheeks heating, Barbara removed her hand from Melissa’s and focused intently on the wine left in her glass. “You.” She offered simply.

Dumbstruck, a light pink blush dusted Melissa’s chest, drawing Barbara’s eye for just a moment. “M-, me?” She whispered in confirmation.

“I understand if this is uncomfortable for you, and I apologize so very much if it is. Stop me now and we can go on as if I never said anything. Tonight could just be a fever dream and —"

Her words were cut off by Melissa gently cupping her cheek. “I’m not uncomfortable,” she explained steadily, “but I do want to clarify, if that’s okay?” Her thumb stroked Barbara’s skin and she couldn’t help but melt into the touch. Nodding, Barbara kept her hands to herself. “You think you’re ready to date again, and not just date in general but date me, because Ava caught you staring at me and said something, is that right?”

Not missing her tone, Barbara hurried to respond. “I know, I know how it sounds because it’s Ava. I know.” She inched a bit closer to Melissa on the couch. “But it wasn’t subtle, what she saw, what she brought to my attention. I,” her ears warming as well now, Barbara sighed and dropped her eyes. “I was staring at your chest at lunch.” She admitted in a rush. “That top was, is, doing things to me, and I may have been fantasizing which is why I choked on my food. And Ava, Ava caught me. She called me out, Melissa, said we flirted all the time, but Ava didn’t put the idea in my head. If I’m honest, the idea of dating you has been there for a while, I was just never brave enough to voice it. I needed that trademark Ava brashness to kick me into gear.” She brought her gaze back to Melissa and bit her lip, unsure.

A half smile, one that still flickered with disbelief, quirked Melissa’s lips as she shook her head and withdrew her hand from Barbara’s face. “I’m happy to be the cause of your bisexual awakening, Barbara,” she murmured softly. “But just because my tits were the first to get your attention doesn’t mean you want to date me.”

Taken aback, Barbara set her wine glass down on the coffee table and placed her hand on Melissa’s knee to ensure her attention. “My ‘bisexual awakening’, as you call it, actually happened when I was sixteen.” She sighed as she recounted the memory. “Diana Ross had started her solo music career, I saw her perform Endless Love… I could’ve sworn she sang it just for me.” At Melissa’s surprised but pleased face, Barbara continued. “So, no, Melissa Schemmenti, while I am sure you have awakened many a bisexual and gay feelings in women, I was not one of them. I just never felt it again in any significant way, until I met you.”

And all that lovely, exposed skin Barbara had been admiring all day flushed a delightful pink. “Sorry for the assumption. You know what assuming makes me,” she tried to tease, flush deepening. “I, I’ve known my whole life I liked both, but once I met you, I knew I wouldn’t like someone else that deeply ever again.” Melissa bit her lip and scooted closer to Barbara. “So, now what?” She asked, looking Barbara directly in the eye.

Barbara’s lips answered, she couldn’t bear anymore waiting. Her hands wasted no time either, slipping around Melissa’s waist and pulling her close.

Groaning softly in encouragement, Melissa allowed Barbara to lead, allowed herself to be pulled into Barbara’s lap as her mouth was slowly, and thoroughly explored. Her hands came up to trace Barbara’s jaw, to slide along her neck, dip into her hair and tug, just the tiniest bit and it had Barbara gasping into Melissa’s mouth.

Suddenly Melissa was moving with more purpose, now she wasn’t just in Barbara’s lap, but straddling it, and lips now moving purposefully down Barbara’s neck.

Taking the opportunity to push the button up from Melissa’s shoulders, Barbara then tentatively brushed her fingers along the underside of Melissa’s breasts as her hands spanned the shorter woman’s ribs.

Never shy, Melissa grasped Barbara’s hand and placed it directly on her breast without breaking her ministrations along Barbara’s neck.

Her other hand immediately coming up to join the first, Barbara moaned. Hands gloriously full, Barbara pulled away from Melissa and when the redhead frowned a little, Barb smiled, pecked her on the nose, and then dropped her mouth to where it wanted to be all day.

Tongue, teeth, and lips tracing the neckline of the camisole, Barbara sighed happily as she slipped down further when she reached the dip between Melissa’s breasts. Melissa moaned, her hips moving more deliberately and her hands burying into Barbara’s hair, encouraging her.

God was good indeed, Barbara thought faintly as she pulled the green fabric down until one lace clad breast appeared. She glanced at Melissa then, wanting to make sure they were on the same page and the redhead nodded, deliciously breathless and flushed. Grinning, Barbara leaned back in and sucked a mark onto the swell of the pale skin just above the lace.

“Christ above, Barbara.” Melissa gasped, her back arching into the attention and finger digging into her shoulders

Unable to help herself, Barbara released the flesh once a small, faint purple bruise marred it. “Can I have more?” She asked, not even recognizing her own voice, ravaged by lust as it was.

Speechless, Melissa nodded.

Several quick movements later and the camisole was around Melissa’s waist, her bra pushed down just enough to free her breasts but still prop them and Barbara knew she didn’t take the appropriate amount of time to appreciate the beauty in front of her. But she didn’t have the capacity to slow down at the moment.

Palming Melissa, she groaned as the nipple hardened under her fingers’ deft rolls and pinches. Her mouth hurriedly found the other, suckling and nibbling. And the sounds falling from Melissa were better than any prayer Barbara had ever heard or uttered in her life.

She worshipped the woman on top of her and when Melissa was gasping and squirming, trying to pull away from the overstimulation on now sensitive buds, Barbara doubled down and Melissa’s head dropped back. And though she was nearly lost to the sensations, Barbara made sure to use Melissa’s breath as her barometer; faster, slower, the gasps and hitches.

The hitches were her favorite, Barbara decided as it happened again.

“Fuck, Barbara. Please—" Melissa whined, and Barbara moved to make a matching hickey on Melissa’s other breast.

When she finally pulled back, a bit breathless from her efforts she grinned. “Mel—“ she murmured, delighting in the mess she made of Melissa. But, her hands fell to Melissa’s hips to slow their grinding, as much as she wanted this, wanted Melissa, she didn’t want Melissa to think this was all she wanted.

Smoothing Melissa’s mussed hair back, Barbara cupped her face between both hands. “I don’t want to rush this,” when Melissa started to protest, Barbara smiled. “You’re too important to me, Melissa, I want this,” she swallowed hard, eyes falling to take in all of Melissa again and nearly caved at the sight. “Heaven above, I want it quite badly, but I want more. I want all of you, Melissa Schemmenti, in every way, shape and form. I don’t want to ruin it by moving too fast.”

Melissa leaned forward then, resting her forehead against Barbara’s and exhaling slowly. “Couldn’t have figured that out before you got me all worked up?” She asked, half laugh and half frustration in her voice.

Tenderly righting Melissa’s bra, Barbara kissed the tip of each breast before tucking them away and then gently slid Melissa’s camisole back up, her lips tracing its path and slow movements. “I don’t mean to tease—"

A snort emanated from Melissa then. “Like hell, this torture is payback for the shirt, isn’t it?” She asked, looking down to admire the edges of the hickeys peeking out faintly from behind the fabric.

She grinned. “I am not that devious, or well planned. But it is nice to know you’re as affected by me as I am by you.” Barbara murmured, her hands tracing lightly along Melissa’s hips.

A sharp, edging that line between pain and pleasure, tug jerked Barbara’s head back by her hair and heat bloomed in her core in response. “Very affected.” Melissa breathed before crashing her mouth to Barbara’s in a fierce, but short kiss. When Melissa broke away, her hands tenderly massaged the back of Barbara’s scalp, soothing the slight sting.

Her mind fuddled once more Barbara merely smiled goofily up at the redhead on top of her. “Have,” she cleared her throat, “have dinner with me?”

A beautiful smile spread across Melissa’s face. “Tell me when and where, babe.”

#abbott elementary #abbott elementary fanfic #barbara howard #melissa schemmenti #barbara howard x melissa schemmenti #melissa x barbara #work wives #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #ao3fic #ao3 #fanfic #mentions of #ava coleman #janine teagues #jacob hill

[jvstheworld]

My Ted Lasso Re-watch: S2E1 (part 3)

Goodbye Earl

Ted's wiping of the nail polish and his butt still hurts. So I thought about this, and they would have had to get the shot of Dani kicking the ball at Ted a few times. Obviously it would be a prop ball so it didn't hurt as much, but still after a few takes of trying to get it right, it you would start to ache. And who's to say it hit his butt every take. He might missed a few times.

Nate's harshness is really coming through now.

Ted said Beard's name and we all kissed it because we thought it was another reference. And yes it is definitely believable that Beard is only referred to as Beard. It's not just a TV show thing where people are just called by their last names. I've had friends who I have done that to. Two of them had the same first name, so calling them by their last names just made things less confusing.

So, Dani has the yips. Ted and Beard's reactions to it being said out loud are hilarious, as is the fact that the players and Will in the locker room all react to the door being slammed.

I don't know Ted's sports references. I'm as lost as Nate and Higgins.

Well, Ted you are living in a foreign country. One that would describe American Football as rugby but with a shit load of padding.

Ted is apprehensive about therapy because of his own time in therapy (You suck, Dr Jacob) . He agrees to it while shaking his head.

Roy is suffering. I would be too if I had to listen to that story. We like Martin Short in this house. He's definitely going to need more drinks to survive.

Roy sees through John's bullshit. And just how boring he really is.

Does anyone else get the slight impression that John looked down on Roy for saying that he coaches kids football? Even though Roy enjoys it, and is a good coach, and has experience from being a 9 year old who got scouted by Sunderland. The man is happy enough and trying to figure out what he's doing next with his life, don't judge.

Keeley was being sneaky and underhanded by bringing up the pundit stuff. Though, it does help him realise where he belongs, so it does eventually become a good thing that he did it.

I still want to see Roy's retirement speech.

To Earl. He was a good boy. I'm going to keep saying it every time it gets brought up.

Michelle had been seeing Dr Jacob as her personal therapist for a while before couples counselling. So Dr Jacob would already know a bunch of stuff about Ted, from Michelle's perspective, which made him form his own opinion about Ted before their first session. They should have seen a separate therapist for couples counselling. Dr Jacob should have stayed as Michelle's personal therapist and referred them to someone else who could have helped them. If not, then he should have done private sessions with Ted to understand his side of things before bringing them both in. Ted was being set up for failure because before he even spoke in their first session he was seen as the problem. Because instead of helping them both with their issues, they just told Ted that he was doing everything wrong and making Michelle miserable. Which is shitty therapy. And made worse by the fact that later on Dr Jacob and Michelle are dating. He might not be her therapist anymore, but he still had intimate knowledge of her relationship and personal life. The problem is, did these feelings occur during the time when he was treating Michelle or when he stopped being her therapist and they hadn't seen each other for a while? Because if it's during his time as her therapist then it adds another layer of why he's such an ass, because he could have been trying to get rid of Ted. Any way you shape this, Dr Jacob does not come out of it like a Prince.

I don't know why, but every time Beard talks about never dating another dancer, the lyrics to George Michael's Careless Whisper come into my head.

'All people are different people.' That is a good line. I might have to steal that for myself at some point. Just because he had one bad experience with one therapist, doesn't mean the next is going to be the same. And Dr Sharon is so much better than Dr Jacob. She actually helps Ted, which Dr Jacob never did!

I need the full story of Beard's life. All of it.

I fucking love Roy's little rant to Rebecca. Yeah, John is fine, and that's nice. But where's the actual spark of attraction? She's playing safe because she got so hurt by Rupert, I get that. But she deserves so much more than just safe and fine. Don't settle for less because you want to play it safe to avoid being hurt again. Find someone who makes you feel safe because they love you and makes you feel like you've been struck by lightning and wants to be with you.

The greatest thing about Roy Kent, he won't bullshit you.

#ted lasso #rebecca welton #coach beard #roy kent #ted lasso rewatch #tv show thoughts

[theoldandnewfirm]

Slipping Away

Fandom: Scrooge: A Christmas Carol (2022)

Rating: M

Relationships: Ebenezer Scrooge/Jacob Marley, Ebenezer Scrooge/Isabelle Fezziwig

Characters: Ebenezer Scrooge, Jacob Marley

Tags: Infidelity, Jacob Marley is Not Nice

Summary

He loved Isabelle, truly. But not enough to stop.

(A little short inspired by @megan0013's post re: the real reason Isabelle couldn't find Ebenezer and Scrooge. Not set on that specific day though.)

---

"Ebenezer? Are you in there?"

Ebenezer went cold. He propped himself on his elbows on the desk and stared, horrified, at the door a few feet away.

"George said it would be all right if I came back," continued Isabelle.

"George will be fired," said Jacob, softly enough that only Ebenezer could hear it.

Jacob had stilled when Isabelle spoke, apparently as startled by her arrival in the office as Ebenezer had been. But as they both listened to her footsteps roaming the room, coming closer to the archive, a sly leer came upon his face that he turned down towards Ebenezer.

Ebenezer realized what he meant to do. He shook his head frantically and mouthed no. But once wickedness had seized Jacob's mind there was no turning him from it, and all Ebenezer could do was clap his hands over his mouth to stifle himself as Jacob ruthlessly resumed his prior occupation.

"Oh," said Isabelle, just outside the door, "They must be in there--"

"I suggest you get her out," Jacob murmured, "unless you want her to see you like this."

His clear delight at the prospect only added to the guilt churning hot and sour in Ebenezer's gut.

"Is--" he cleared his throat, "Isabelle?"

"Ebenezer!"

The doorknob jostled--

"Wait!" he said, and the sound stopped. "Don't--you can't--"

He shoved Jacob's chest, willing him to stop or at least slow down, but Jacob simply caught his hand and turned it to kiss his palm. The simple intimacy of the gesture made Ebenezer whimper.

"Ebenezer? Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm--we're--we're very busy Isabelle, you--you need to come back later."

"Oh, but…I've brought lunch. It's a lovely day, I was hoping we could eat in the park like we used to."

"You could go," said Jacob quietly, "say that you want to, and I'll let you."

Hate flooded through Ebenezer hot and quick as a shock. He hated how good Jacob made him feel. He hated what a smug bastard he was about it. He hated that every time Jacob pulled him into his arms, he seemed to pull him further from Isabelle's.

Most of all, he hated himself for doing nothing to stop it.

"I can't, Isabelle," he said. "I--I--"

Jacob had found that place inside him that made his mind go muddled. He dug his nails into his own thigh, willing the pain to grant him a final burst of composure.

"--I have to finish this. Another day, perhaps."

"Oh…all right. I'll see you later, then."

Her footsteps, blessedly, started to move away. Then, she paused.

"I love you," she said.

"I--"

Jacob clapped a hand over Ebenezer's mouth, and with the other took hold of Ebenezer's cock, jerking it quick and sure. Ebenezer's vision went white.

In the moments after, shame filled the emptiness where lust had been. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. The sight of them at last seemed to temper Jacob's glee; he leaned over and kissed the corner of Ebenezer's mouth, then murmured promises and adorations against his jawline.

"I love you," Ebenezer said hoarsely, and didn't know to which of them he said it.

#I don't LOVE the last two paragraphs because I think they might be too sappy #but this was more an exercise to try and get a feel for them and their vibe #also trying to practice writing that's less 'insert tab a into slot b' #but is still kinda hot #ANYWAY enjoy these two jerks #scrooge: a christmas carol #scrooge/marley #scrooge x marley #fic #scrooge a christmas carol

[renee-writer]

April 15th Chapter Thirteen

AO3

The week seems both slow and fast as they get to know each other. The part that she thought would be the hardest turns out to be the easiest. The marriage bed.

 

There, they come together in a manner that as easy as her hand sliding into a silk glove.  They, both being innocents, learned together.

 

The second night, he surprised her by kissing down farther then before. She thought he would stop at her navel but he kept going.

 

“What? What are you?” She half sits, propping up on her elbows. He grins at her.

 

“I want to taste you.”  Her eyes grow wide watching him kiss over her curls before opening up her folds, slowly like a rose revealing her nectar. Then he set himself to tasting it.

 

She never felt anything like it. It went beyond the pleasure she usually receives in the act of loving. No, this is sharper more focused.

 

Her eyes roll back and she has to lay back, unable to hold herself up.  Her hands entangle in the sheets under her as her hips raise to meet his moving tongue.

 

She cries out things she never thought herself capable of saying.  Curses in several languages.  Words that she doesn’t even know the meanings of.

 

When it all comes together, her legs clamp around his head as her whole body shakes. Jamie, having experience now, doesn’t panic. He watches as she takes her pleasure, the most beautiful sight in the world.

 

She lays as still as death after. He chuckles. “Not as dead as you look, I hope.” He moves back up and into her, where his member takes her right back over the edge.

 

Oh, the loving is good. The talks they have in between are brilliant.

 

“Have you always wished to be a barrister?” She reclines on the sofa in their suite, in a dressing gown. He sits across from her in his trousers, his undershirt covered by suspenders.

 

“I have.  My brother, William, is running Lallybroch, no pardon me, helping to run Lallybroch until our father retires. “

 

“So by tradition…”

 

“Aye, a trade but not one that gets ones hands to dirty.” He chuckles, “ironically, William does more of that working in the soil and seeing to the animals. His son, Willie, is being trained to do the same. When da retires, he should be old enough to do what William is doing now. Then his da will take over doing the massive amount of paperwork that comes with a working farm.”

 

“You will be their lawyer?”

 

He grins. “Nae, that would be Ned Gowan. He has seen to Lallybroch since my grandda, Jacob, was running it. I swear he looks the same as he did when I was a wean.”

 

She laughs with him.

 

“So, you join a firm?”

 

“Actually, John and I are talking about starting one.”  She frowns, “You don’t approve?”

 

“It isn’t for me to approve or disapprove.”

 

“It isn’t? You are my wife, my partner. If you have concerns, I would like to hear them.”

 

She fiddles with the edge of her gown, unused to being treated as an equal. Any time she brought up concerns to Frank, he explained that he, as the man, would handle it. She just stopped talking with him about anything.

 

“Claire?”

 

“It is just, with the way he feels about you, will it be difficult to work so closely together?”

 

“We straightened all that out.”

 

“You have but what of his feelings. I like him Jamie and don’t want to see him hurt. If you believe that won’t be the case then so do I.”

 

Just when he thought he couldn’t love her more! His face shining, he stands and walks over to her. Kneeling down by her, he says, “ Thank you Lady Fraser. You are the best.”

#my writing #outlander fanfic #april 15th #chapter thirteen #jamie and claire #cannon divergence #outlander fandom

[autismtana]

nude erections* and what sydney suburb they'd live in (in a weird ass AU where glee is set in sydney)

(from a glee/brittana veteran born and raised in sydney, australia and who has listened to a lot of the whitlams over the past few weeks)

finn: eastwood

it's such a simultaneously random and boring suburb, like literally, who lives in eastwood of all places??? i once got so bored that i just got the train there just to check if it was a real place. but i could totally see finn hudson living there. it's like ... not quite north shore, not quite inner west, it doesn't even have the decency to be ryde ... for the record, i'm not trying to be finn-unfriendly here, like he's not my favourite or anything, i'm just saying he'd be from eastwood.

rachel: double bay

rachel berry is the bougiest new directions girl hands down and the bougiest girl needs to live in the bougiest suburb. she bonds with blaine over their posh eastern suburbs-ness.

mercedes: alexandria

alexandria is one of my favourite places to go in sydney, and mercedes is one of my favourite nude erections, so that tracks

kurt: surry hills

i was so close to putting kurt in edgecliff and i still don't know if i regret that decision. but he'd probably also suit surry hills.

tina: glebe

tina cohen-chang is the poster child for glebe (also on a side note, glebe has a book store called glee books, just thought i'd put it out there). also i just realised i put tina in the suburb where josie alibrandi lives and rachel in one of the suburbs where all the posh mean girls at her school live ... ummmmm props feels anyone???

artie: artarmon

ok so this one was kind of hard but it works ... artie is officially short for artarmon. i don't make the rules.

puck: parramatta

so i actually quite like going to parramatta but all my north shore friends are scared of it for some reason. something about it is very puck. idk why ... like it's kind of basic but it's got a bit of an edge to it.

quinn: turramurra

if rachel is the eastern suburbs bougie bitch, quinn is the north shore bougie bitch. i was a scholarship kid at an all-girls private school and all the bitchiest and bougiest girls lived in turramurra. she frequently reminds finn that eastwood is NOT the north shore.

santana: redfern

redfern is santana's stomping ground and she would definitely make sure everyone knows she lived there from birth (i.e. pre-gentrification, before it became full of hipsters). also, quinn will happily drive to glebe, surry hills and alexandria to hang out with/pick up tina, kurt and mercedes respectfully, but she nearly had a heart attack the one time she had to drive to redfern to pick santana up ("why can't you just walk to surry hills?" "um, it's surry hills, quinn, emphasis on HILLS. what do you even think's going to happen in redfern anyway?" "someone tried to murder me." "bitch, that was me and it was because you tried to steal my cheesy garlic bread."). on a side note, watch redfern now on netflix or abc-iview, it's good.

(also - quick commercial break here - since i brought up looking for alibrandi with tina, i should also point out that i put santana in the suburb where jacob coote lives ... and seriously it's an amazing book and movie and everyone should watch it honestly australian media is amazing and brilliant and we're so isolated a lot of you are missing out on our stuff ok i digress thanks for coming to my ted talk bye)

brittany: newtown

brittany is totally a newtown girl (making brittana a beautiful inner west-inner city love story). she also probably orders lord of the fries food to troll rachel with it, and she takes santana out to dinner at the italian bowl every friday.

mike: carlingford

tbh this one was kinda hard and i was trying to come up with suburbs that aren't in the east, north or inner west. but carlingford is home to james ruse, the school that has topped the hsc every year since the 90s, and mike is canonically one of the students with the best grades and a member of the brainiacs group, so there's that

sam: sutherland

sam's a shire boy. he's not edgy enough to be a cronulla boy but he's a shire boy. (and in writing this, i'm now realising i could have given this one to rachel, what with her often being referred to as a hobbit and all...). he's not one of the ratbag boys from puberty blues, but he's more like garry.

blaine: vaucluse

blaine is a posh private school boy and vaucluse is the bougiest suburb of all sydney suburbs, so i'm giving that one to blaine (and he would definitely be a scots boy)

(*the OG squad minus matt - sorry matt, plus sam and blaine)

(also if you want to know where i grew up, all i will say is that it was the eshay capital of sydney ... do with that what you will)

(also I really should have included a map, but google maps is free so go use that if you wanna find out more about sydney suburbs and all that good stuff)

#glee #new directions #au in which the new directions are from sydney and live in sydney suburbs #some of these were very hard #but santana and brittany being redfern and newtown respectfully were the easiest #also sam evans is garry hennessy

[avhies20]

Since the year is ending, I'd like to talk about my top 5 favorite shows of this year. There's a lot of really good show releases this year, but these are the ones that I personally loved. [Alt text are available in the images]

5. Interview with the Vampire

This is such a good adaptation. The writing, production, and casting is phenomenal. Also, I'd like to say props to them for acknowledging the issues Louis would have experienced during that time period. It brought so much depth to the character. I also love how Claudia came into the picture. That was a change that I personally loved more than the book version. The performance of Bailey Bass as Claudia made it even better. I think her episode was my favorite. It really showed how disturbing and tragic her situation was. I'd also like to appreciate Sam Reid and Jacob Anderson's electrifying chemistry together. Both of them made Louis and Lestat's story more interesting for me.

Lastly, I am beyond happy that they made this show so gay. Like they fully embraced it, without shame. I love this show for it.

4.1899

As a long time Dark fan, I was so excited for this show. Although I admit, I wanted more from it. Still I enjoyed watching this season and I truly believe that things would get even better once we get to the next season (if there is one 👀).

What I loved the most from this is the fact that the characters are speaking in different languages and are from different countries. Like they really spoke their native languages instead of making them just speak in english with foreign accents. Because of that we got to see the characters navigate their way through the language barriers and build meaningful connections.

Now I'd like to talk about what distracted me the most... Eyk and Maura's chemistry. There's just something about them that I really really dig (Angst? Longing? Them being so touchy together? All of the above?). Although, I'd like to say I still like Daniel. I feel like the whole story behind him would be heart breaking.

3.The Sandman

This was my most anticipated show for August, it was like an early birthday present for me. I truly enjoyed this show, especially Tom Sturridge's performance as poor little meow meow, baby girl, blorbo Morpheous. The way he made his eyes teary-eyed all the time is such a perfect acting choice. Kirby Howell-Baptiste also delivered as the lovely Death. She really made the character as loving and caring as possible. Watching her sibling dynamic with Sturridge as Dream is all I've ever wished for. Mason Alexander Park of course brought Desire truly come to life in this adaptation. I hope we get to see more of their performance next season.

My favorite episode would probably be episode 4 to 6. Those three episodes are a package deal considering the themes that they handled. Also, I'd like to acknowledge the wonderful surprise episode 11. I am totally in love with how they gracefully and respectfully they handled Calliope's story. They gave her agency and respected her as an actual character. I also loved the short interactions she had with Morpheus, especially the "you came" ...."you called" scene, that was so jdkfjeifjbcisibsjsjk ( I can't describe what I felt but I was a mess when that scene came up).

2.Severance

Wow, this show was a last minute watch for me and it was so good it made my top 5. This show had such a good mix of mystery, sci-fi, tension, drama, and a little bit of comedy. I also did not expect to love the characters of this show. Each of the characters had something equally interesting going on, it wasn't just the protagonist who had something to do. Honestly, I'm surprised with how well they fleshed out the characters, even though they're still in season 1.

What really cemented this show in my top 5 is its finale. My gosh, it was so thrilling and suspenseful. I also think that this show's finale is an example of a cliff hanger done right. They answered some questions, left out some unanswered ones, and ended the finale with a bang (not an action packed scene, but enough to make you stand up the couch and scream "NO! that's it!?).

I think this show has a potential to be one of the best sci-fi tv series of all time if they do it right until the end.

1.Andor

This year I thought my top favorite show would be The Sandman, but Andor came in and landed right at the top. I'm not even a Star Wars fan, just a casual viewer, but this show was excellent in a lot of ways. This show at its core, is a well-done spy thriller set in space. It's got 12 episodes with 4 different arcs that truly delivered. This show also managed to tackle social and political issues of today, with such care.

This show also had incredible production, writing, direction, set design, vfx, editing , and the soundtrack is *chef's kiss*. It is such a high quality show. I hope they get a lot of praise and awards because this show really deserves it. Also, this show is so quotable. I can't even pick a favorite because they're just so many.

Lastly, I'd like to talk about Cassian's development here because the finale came full circle. Episode 1 Cassian and Episode 12 Cassian had such a stark difference. I cannot wait where his arc is going in the next season. I hope we get to see something about his sister, because I want something happy for him at least.

#2022 tv recommendations #tv recommendations #Avira's top 5 tv shows for 2022 #interview with the vampire #iwtv tv #1899 #The Sandman #Severance #Severance Apple Tv #severance apple tv plus #Andor #I am so happy that I was able to watch a lot of shows this year that I really loved and enjoyed #please try watching these shows you won't regret it #tv show recommendations #2022 tv shows recommendations

[hekateinhell]

Lestat next episode “she’s poisoning you against me”…..He beat Louis nearly to death and dropped him from the gotdamn sky, he poisoned himself. Nice to know though that Lestat considers it to be the equivalent of throwing a dish and doesn’t see what the big deal is. Lestat’s dumb but not this stupid. Not sure what the writers are trying to do here because even after seeing Louis’ broken and mangled body he doesn’t even blink and the preview makes it sound as though he doesn’t even feel real remorse. Lestat’s a vicious little gremlin but you get the sense he truly loves Louis and Claudia and would never actually truly harm them, he wants them to stay so badly and I think even he would know that something like this is a point of no return. This Lestat has no love for Claudia and is just obsessed with Louis in the worst way possible. I’m sad cause I love the characters, I love the actors and this all just felt so OOC. Also, people saying Lestat’s actions are just as bad as when Claudia tries to kill Lestat 🥲

Sorry I know you don’t watch the show but I had to vent lol

Actually I do, because I'm a fucking masochist. I AM done after today though.

I wanted to like it! Genuinely, I wanted to be proven wrong and I wanted to be having a good time along with three-fourths of fandom! Every week I would watch with my friends and wonder what's wrong with me, what am I not getting? I WANTED TO HAVE FUN TOO GODDAMN IT.

Didn't help that you got outright bullied for expressing the slightest bit of criticism around here lmao maybe that's what gave the impression that I don't watch it, since I did not have anything nice to say at all. I tried making my own tag so people could just block THAT and I wouldn't be raining on anyone's parade, but it doesn't stop those who are committed to creeping on your page (hi babes) so ANYWAY

I mean... I AGREE. And I never saw Lestat in Samstat, and given how he swung in like Homelander in Episode 1, I just felt... but then also like... I DIDN'T WANT THIS!!! I still haven't regained full coherency as you can see, I'm gonna need 3-5 business days at least.

Because Lestat did never and Lestat would never. I've said it many times with great affection: Lestat's an idiot but he ain't stupid.

This quote has been going around today, and I've been carrying it too to comfort my Loustat friends because the girlies are hurting in a bad, bad way (and tbh so am I):

Yet I couldn't hurt him. I couldn't even conceive of carrying out such awful, cowardly threats. I could never have brought harm to Claudia. Ah, to make something out of nothing, yes. To throw up the pieces to see how they will fall, yes. But vengeance. Ah, arid awful distasteful vengeance. What is it to me? ~ Lestat, TotBT

I can't envision AMC Hannibal/Homelander-Lestat as either IWTV-Lestat or TVL-onward Lestat. Plain and simple--it is an OC. They all are.

Even if AMC retcons it by the next episode, I just don't see any editorial justification for that to have happened on-screen without content warnings (yeah, I'm not going to let this one go). 

We talk about exposition and the art of a narrative a lot and not to sound ignorant but... RJ, BRUH. I don't blame the actors! Actors don't make the decisions on set and Sam, Jacob, and Bailey killed it with what they were given. And I have given them their props since day one.

IDK I'm sorry for anyone who got hurt today, honestly! The Doctor prescribes reading your favourite hurt/comfort fics and scrolling through your emotional support fan artists. ♥️

#you ask and hekate answers #it'll be okay #maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow #but it'll be okay ;-; #amc iwtv