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#jaywalker pictures
halfax-a · 2 years
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I'm currently staying at an american/medieval themed entertainment village somewhere in check republic
My vacation is going great! 😎
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caramel-mousse · 3 months
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Saw some really cool agama picticauda (a funny rainbow lizard. The males are colorufl while the females are plaincolored) today on my walk. There was the one colorful male and a slew of either his mates or children. They were hanging out by a gas station dumpster. Unfortunately theyre invasive here but that doesnt make them less cool looking
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pucksandpower · 3 months
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Blow Out the Candles
Charles Leclerc x birthday girl!Reader
Summary: the many ways that you and Charles celebrate your birthday throughout the years
Warnings: vague depictions of childbirth and labor
It’s my birthday today so this is my gift to you 🫶
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You let out a long sigh as you lean back against the cold concrete wall of the holding cell. This is not exactly how you pictured spending your birthday weekend.
The heavy steel door clangs shut behind you, the sound echoing in the cramped space. Looking around, you take in the sparse furnishings — a bench along one wall, a grimy leaking sink in the corner, and a single window so dirty that it barely lets in any light.
Charming.
You hear voices and footsteps approaching. Keys jangle and the door swings open again. A police officer steps aside and another person stumbles into the cell.
He looks to be about your age or a little older, with messy brown hair and a bewildered expression. The officer mumbles something about “sorting this out shortly” before slamming the door closed once more.
The new arrival blinks in confusion before noticing you sitting on the bench. “Oh! Sorry, I didn’t see you there,” he says with an accent you can’t quite place. French, maybe? He runs a hand through his tousled hair sheepishly.
You give a wry smile. “Don’t worry about it. I take it you’re joining me for the complimentary holding cell experience?”
He chuckles, leaning back against the wall across from you. “Yeah, something like that. I’m Charles.”
“Y/N,” you reply. “Nice to meet you, cellmate.”
Charles grins, and you can’t help but notice how his nose crinkles up when he smiles. It’s kind of adorable. “The pleasure is mine,” he says gallantly, giving a theatrical little bow that makes you laugh.
“So Charles, what terrible crime did you commit to land yourself in this lovely establishment?” You ask with mock seriousness.
He smirks. “Would you believe me if I said jaywalking?”
You raise an eyebrow. “Seriously?”
“Seriously,” he confirms. “I was trying to get to the bakery before they sold out of croissants. I may have darted across the street … outside of the crosswalk.” He shakes his head ruefully. “The things I do for pastries.”
You have to laugh. “A real menace to society, you are.”
He grins again. “What about you? Don’t tell me you’re in for armed robbery or something.”
“Me? No way,” you scoff. “I was taking the metro downtown and I may have … accidentally used an expired metro card. The transit cops dragged me off at the next stop. I tried to explain it was an honest mistake but they weren’t having it.”
“Ah, a hardened criminal!” Charles exclaims in mock horror, eyes twinkling with amusement.
“Clearly. Us lawbreakers need to stick together,” you joke.
You both erupt into laughter, the sound ringing brightly in the dreary holding cell.
As your laughter subsides, Charles regards you curiously. “So do you make a habit of riding the metro with expired cards, Y/N?”
You make a face. “No, I just grabbed the wrong card in my wallet this morning. I was rushing to get downtown and didn’t even think to check.”
“Why were you in such a hurry?”
You hesitate. The real reason seems kind of silly now that you’re stuck in a jail cell. “It’s my birthday today,” you explain with a self-conscious shrug. “I was meeting some friends for brunch downtown to celebrate. Guess I’m going to be late for that.”
“It’s your birthday?” Charles’ eyes widen. “Well, happy birthday!”
You crack a smile. “Thanks.”
“I’m sorry you got stuck in here for your birthday,” he says sympathetically. “That really sucks.”
You give another shrug. “Honestly, this will make for a pretty funny story later. Not exactly how I wanted to spend today, but what can you do?”
Charles nods thoughtfully. A moment later his face lights up. “I know what we can do! Since we’re stuck in this lovely cell, we should have our own little birthday celebration. I can sing for you!”
You raise your eyebrows, surprised but charmed by the offer. “Really? You don’t have to do that.”
“It’s your birthday, of course I do!” He insists.
Clearing his throat theatrically, he launches into an enthusiastic, if not exactly tuneful, rendition of “Happy Birthday.”
His voice echoes off the concrete walls as he gesticulates dramatically, getting really into it by the second verse. You can’t help giggling as he puts his whole heart into hitting the high notes.
By the time he finishes with a flourish, you’re both laughing again.
“That was amazing, thank you,” you tell him, still chuckling.
He gives an exaggerated bow. “My pleasure, birthday girl. Sorry I don’t have a cake to go with the song.”
You grin. “That’s okay. 10 out of 10 performance.”
Charles smiles, looking adorably pleased with himself.
You regard him thoughtfully. “You know, you really didn’t have to do that. Singing for a total stranger in a holding cell.”
He shrugs. “I wanted to. You seemed like you could use a pick-me-up.”
“Well, it worked. I definitely feel better.” You study him for a moment. “You’re pretty strange, Charles.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he laughs.
You shake your head amusedly. You have to admit, you’re really enjoying his company. For someone you just met under bizarre circumstances, he’s remarkably easy to talk to.
Charles checks his watch. “I hope they let us out of here soon. Those croissants are calling my name.”
“And I’ve got mimosas waiting for me,” you add.
As if on cue, footsteps sound outside. You both look up expectantly as keys rattle in the lock.
The door swings open and the officer from before steps in. “Alright you two, come with me. We got it all sorted out, you’re free to go.”
You share a relieved look with Charles as you both follow the officer out. After a quick stop to collect your belongings, you step outside into the sunshine.
Charles turns to you with a smile. “Well, it was very nice to meet you, Y/N. Happy birthday again!”
“Thanks, Charles.” You smile warmly at your strange but lovely cellmate. “This turned out to be a pretty memorable birthday after all.”
He looks pleased. “I’m glad I could help make it special. Enjoy the rest of your day!”
With a little wave he heads off down the street, presumably in search of those croissants. You watch him go, struck by an impulse.
“Charles, wait up!” You call out, jogging to catch up with him.
He turns, looking at you curiously.
“I just wanted to say thanks again for making a crappy situation fun,” you tell him sincerely. “And, if you want, you’re welcome to come join me and my friends for brunch.”
His eyes light up in surprise. “Really?”
You nod. “It’s the least I can do after you serenaded me in jail,” you joke. “Plus, I’m sure the restaurant will have croissants.”
Charles smiles broadly. “Well in that case, I would love to.”
“Great!” You beam, linking your arm through his. “Let’s get out of here.”
***
You sink back into the plush leather seat, gazing out the jet’s window at the twinkling stars dotting the endless expanse of sky. This is definitely a step up from last year’s jail cell birthday celebration.
“Champagne, ma’am?”
You smile up at the flight attendant as she offers you a crystal flute. “Yes please!”
Charles grins at you from across the cabin. “And please keep it coming, my girlfriend deserves to be spoiled on her birthday.”
You still get butterflies every time he calls you his girlfriend. This past year with Charles has been amazing. After that fateful day, he easily slotted himself into your life. What started as an impromptu brunch turned into real dates, which turned into a real relationship. You’ve never clicked with someone so quickly or felt so comfortable so soon.
Now here you are, celebrating your birthday at 11,000 meters aboard a private jet chartered from one of Ferrari’s sponsors. You had balked at the extravagance at first, but Charles insisted. “It’s your special day, we have to do something incredible!”
You take a sip of crisp champagne, the bubbles tickling your nose. “So where exactly are we headed?”
Charles has kept your destination a surprise. “You’ll see soon, birthday girl,” he says with a wink.
You pretend to pout. “Fine, keep your secrets.”
He just laughs. “Trust me, it’s going to be an amazing trip.”
You don’t doubt it. Charles has a knack for making every day feel special and fun. Even just being cooped up in this plane with him feels like an adventure.
As the flight continues, you enjoy a decadent five course dinner complete with even more champagne and chocolate-dipped strawberries. Charles keeps you laughing with silly stories and jokes. By the time you finish eating you have to stifle a yawn behind your hand.
“Someone’s getting sleepy,” Charles teases.
“It’s been a long exciting day!” You say through another yawn.
Charles grins and hits the call button. A flight attendant appears instantly. “Yes sir?”
“I think it’s time to get the birthday girl to bed,” Charles says.
The attendant nods and pulls back a partition, revealing a plush bedroom suite.
Your eyes widen in delighted surprise. “Wha … we can sleep in an actual bed on the plane?”
“Only the best for you,” Charles says, planting a kiss on your forehead.
You happily snuggle under the covers in the sumptuous bed, sighing contentedly. “Okay, this is an amazing birthday present.”
Charles chuckles, sliding in beside you and pulling you close. “The fun is only beginning, mon cœur.”
Within minutes you’re sound asleep curled up in his arms.
Sometime later you stir slowly awake, momentarily confused. The bedroom is dark and Charles is shaking your shoulder gently.
“Wake up, chérie. It’s almost midnight!” He says excitedly.
You rub your eyes and peer blearily at the clock. 11:58 pm. “Why, what happens at midnight?”
“Your birthday starts again!”
You look at him blankly, still not fully awake.
He grins. “We just crossed into a new time zone. Which means ...” He pauses for dramatic effect. “I get to be the first to wish you happy birthday again!”
As it clicks you start laughing. Only Charles would come up with something so adorable. You watch the clock count down the last seconds to midnight as he bounces giddily on the bed.
“Happy birthday!” Charles exclaims right on cue, tackling you in a hug.
You hug him back, still laughing. “You’re crazy, but thank you.”
He beams down at you. “I have so much planned, it’s going to take more than one time zone to celebrate properly.”
Over the next few hours, you dip in and out of sleep as Charles wakes you at each new midnight. Every time he sings and wishes you happy birthday again with infectious enthusiasm. By the fifth round you’re both delirious and silly from lack of sleep, belting out drunk duets of “Happy Birthday” and collapsing into giggles.
Finally he lets you sleep through until morning. When you emerge from the bedroom, blinking in the bright daylight, you gasp. Out the window is an ocean of clouds and in the distance, a tiny island just coming into view.
You turn to Charles with wide eyes. “Are we … is that ...”
He grins and wraps his arms around you. “Welcome to St. Barts! I wanted your birthday to be paradise.”
“Every day with you is paradise.” You kiss him soundly. “Thank you, this is the most magical birthday I could’ve imagined.”
Charles trails his fingers over your cheek. “You deserve magic every single day. I’m just doing my part to make sure you get it.”
***
You stir awake to soft kisses trailing down your neck. Opening your eyes, you find Charles gazing down at you, his brown hair endearingly rumpled.
“Happy birthday, mon ange,” he whispers before capturing your lips in a sweet kiss.
You hum contentedly, running your fingers through his messy locks. “Mmm, now this is a nice way to wake up.”
Charles gives you his signature crinkly-nosed grin. “I have so much planned for your special day.”
Your heart flutters happily. After two amazing years with Charles, the connection between the two of you feels more intense than ever. You can’t wait to celebrate.
But his smile turns apologetic. “Well, so much planned for after the car launch.”
You nod in understanding. Charles has commitments. And today the new Scuderia Ferrari car is being unveiled in a highly anticipated event.
Charles kisses your pouting lip. “I’m so sorry, ma belle. I wish I could get out of it but-”
“Shh, it’s okay,” you assure him, silencing his worries with a kiss. “I know how important the launch is for the team. I’ll just miss you today.”
“I’ll miss you too. But I promise, as soon as it’s over I’m all yours.”
You spend a blissful morning lazing in bed, laughing over crepes Charles attempts to make for your birthday breakfast. Flour ends up more on him than in the pan, but you happily eat the lumpy results.
Too soon it’s time for Charles to leave for the launch. At the door he pulls you into his arms. “I love you. This evening will be perfect, I swear.”
You smile up at him. “Love you too. Go show off that new car.”
After one more lingering kiss he’s off. You distract yourself by meeting local friends for birthday lunch. But your mind keeps drifting to Charles. You hope the event is going well for him.
By mid afternoon you’re back in Charles’ Maranello apartment, curled up on the couch watching silly movies. You’ve just bitten into a slice of birthday cake when your phone rings.
It’s Charles FaceTiming you, his handsome face filling the screen. “Hi, mon amour!”
You grin at your adorable fiancé. “Hey you! How’s the launch going?”
“It’s good!” His eyes drop to your plate. “Are you eating cake without me?” He gasps in mock outrage.
You giggle. “Only a tiny cheat slice. Don’t worry, there’s plenty left for when you’re home.”
Voices sound faintly behind Charles and he glances over his shoulder. “Ah, the program is starting again soon. I just wanted to see your beautiful face.”
You blow him a kiss. “Knock ‘em dead, baby.”
“I love you!” He says before the call ends.
Snuggling back into the couch, you focus on the movie again. But a notification keeps pinging on your phone. You glance over to see texts flooding in from Charles.
Can you watch the livestream?
The link is all over social media
It’s starting again soon 😘
You go on Instagram and click the link curiously. The livestream shows an auditorium packed with press, Ferrari team members, fans, and VIPs. Cameras flash as Charles takes the stage along with his teammate and team principal. They talk about the new car but you mostly just stare lovingly at Charles’ dimples on the big screen.
After the speeches, they unveil the sleek new car. Your heart swells with pride for Charles. But you can’t wait for all the events and obligations to be over. You miss him.
The hosts invite Charles to say a few words. He steps up to the microphone, smiling. “Thank you all for being here today. I’m so excited to get behind the wheel of this beautiful SF-26 ...”
He continues talking passionately about the team and the season ahead. But then his eyes flick to the camera broadcasting the feed. “Oh, I also have a very special announcement.”
You sit up, intrigued. Charles winks at the camera. “As some of you may know, today is my wonderful girlfriend Y/N’s birthday.”
Your eyes widen. You have no idea what he’s doing but it makes your heart flutter.
“So to celebrate this amazing woman, I thought we could all join together to wish her a very happy birthday.”
Charles starts singing “Happy Birthday,” looking straight at the camera with so much love. The crowd joins in, the whole auditorium singing to you. You stare in overwhelmed wonder as Charles blows you a kiss.
When the song ends, the audience claps wildly. Charles grins. “I hope you enjoyed your serenade, mon cœur. I can’t wait to celebrate you properly tonight. Happy birthday, I love you!”
The livestream switches off and you sit staring at your phone in shock. Trust Charles to orchestrate something so thoughtful and adorable. Only he could turn a huge unrelated event into a birthday present.
A few hours later, the front door finally bursts open. Charles rushes in and sweeps you into his arms.
“Surprise!” He laughs, spinning you in a circle.
You hug him tightly. “Charles, that was the sweetest thing ever!”
He beams. “I wanted you to feel special today even though I couldn’t be with you. Did you like it?”
“Like it? I loved it!” You punctuate each word with a smacking kiss.
Charles looks immensely pleased. “Good, because the celebrations are just beginning. Now, I believe I was promised cake?”
You spend the evening feeding each other cake and laughing over champagne. Charles serenades you again, because one impromptu singalong just wasn’t enough for him.
As you sway together, slow dancing in the kitchen, you whisper, “Best birthday ever.”
Charles smiles and pulls you closer. “We’ll make every birthday together your best one yet. I love you, Y/N. So much.”
Your heart swells with joy. No matter where life takes you both, with Charles every birthday is celebrated to the fullest.
***
A salty ocean breeze ruffles your hair as you gaze out over the glittering turquoise water. The sun is sinking low, painting the sky in dazzling pinks and oranges.
You sigh contentedly, snuggling back against Charles’ chest. His arms tighten around you as you sway together on the yacht’s deck.
“Happy birthday, mon ange,” he murmurs, dropping a kiss to your shoulder.
You tilt your head back to smile up at him. “I know I say this every year, but this is the best birthday ever.”
Charles grins, his nose crinkling adorably. “Well you deserve the perfect birthday getaway.”
You hum in agreement, perfectly relaxed and blissful here in his arms. Charles always plans the most romantic adventures for your birthdays. But after three amazing years together, just being with your favorite person is celebration enough.
As the sun continues to set you chat and trade soft kisses. The conversation lulls eventually into comfortable silence.
Charles shifts behind you. “Y/N, can you turn around? There’s something I want to ask you.”
You swivel in his arms to face him, curious at his suddenly serious tone. But a radiant smile lights up his face.
Slowly, Charles sinks down to one knee before you. Your breath catches as he takes your hands in his.
“Mon amour, these past three years with you have been the happiest of my life. You are my best friend, my heart, my home. I want to laugh with you, explore the world with you, and grow old with you.” His eyes shine with emotion as he gazes up at you.
“So Y/N, will you make me the luckiest man alive by marrying me?”
Joyful tears fill your eyes. “Yes! Of course I’ll marry you!”
Charles’ face splits into the most delighted grin. He moves to stand but wobbles slightly, the boat swaying beneath the two of you.
You reach out to steady him. “Careful!”
“Sorry, just excited,” he laughs breathlessly. With exaggerated care he pulls a ring box from his pocket and opens it to reveal a dazzling diamond ring.
Your smile widens impossibly further. The sunset lights the gems ablaze from within.
Charles takes your left hand gingerly, his own hands trembling. “I hope you lik-”
But his unsteady fingers fumble and the ring slips from his grasp. You both gasp, hands shooting out too late to catch it. The diamonds glint once in the dying sunlight before plopping into the blue water.
“No!” Charles cries in horror. In a flash he’s scrambling to rip off his shoes and shirt. Before you can react, he’s diving in after the lost ring.
“Charles!” You rush to the railing, scanning the rippling surface for him. Bubbles appear where he dove down. The seconds stretch nerve-wrackingly until finally he surfaces, gasping for breath. In his clutched fist, the ring gleams triumphantly.
Relief crashes over you as Charles swims to the ladder. He clambers back aboard the boat, soaked and panting but grinning ear to ear.
“I got it!” He crows, holding up the retrieved ring.
A delighted laugh bursts from you. Only Charles would dive headfirst off a yacht to save an engagement ring. You throw your arms around his dripping shoulders, not caring that you’re getting drenched too.
“My hero,” you kiss him soundly.
Charles wraps you in a soggy hug. “Couldn’t let this ring get away when I still have a very important question to ask you … again.”
He sinks down once more to his knee, water pooling around him. With his hair plastered to his forehead and clothes soaked through, he looks adorably bedraggled but still so breathtakingly handsome.
Grasping your hand again, he asks earnestly, “Y/N, will you marry me and make me the happiest man in the world?”
“Yes!” You don’t think you’ve ever smiled so wide. “Yes, Charles, yes!”
Charles whoops triumphantly, surging up to kiss you passionately. This time his hands are steady as he finally successfully slips the ring onto your finger.
Admiring the shimmering diamonds you joke, “This ring might need a free cleaning after that swim.”
Charles laughs, pulling you close again. “I’ll get you a new one if you want. Anything for my future wife.”
Wife.
The word sends a thrill through you. You cup Charles’ face in your hands. “This is the only ring I’ll ever want. Because it’s from you.”
His eyes soften. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” You lean in for another searing kiss as the last light fades behind the horizon.
When you finally draw back Charles wrinkles his nose. “As romantic as this is, I should probably get into some dry clothes.”
You laugh, plucking at his soaked shirt. “Good call. Then we can continue this celebration in proper style!”
Charles grins and sweeps you up into his arms. “I like the way you think, Future Madame Leclerc.”
***
“One more push, you’re almost there!”
You squeeze Charles’ hand with all your might, face scrunched in exertion, as you bear down to bring your baby into the world.
This is not exactly how you envisioned spending your birthday this year. But as you give one final push and hear your daughter’s first cries, you know this is already the best birthday of your life.
“She’s here! You did amazing, mon amour!” Charles says through joyful tears, kissing your sweat-damp forehead.
The doctor holds up the squalling, wriggling newborn. “Congratulations, it’s a girl!”
Charles cuts the umbilical cord with shaky hands before the nurses whisk your daughter away to be cleaned and checked. He turns back to you, eyes shining. “I’m so proud of you, Y/N. She’s perfect.”
You beam tiredly back at him. The child you created together, your little family, is finally here. After long months of waiting, your birthday wish has come true.
Soon the nurse returns, swaddling your baby girl in a soft pink blanket. “Say hello to your daughter,” she says gently, placing the tiny bundle in your arms.
You gaze down at your daughter, tears of joy and wonder sliding down your cheeks. Ten tiny fingers and ten tiny toes — she’s absolute perfection.
“Hello Juliette,” you whisper. “Happy birthday, my beautiful girl.”
Charles perches gingerly on the edge of the bed, staring at you both like you hung the moon and stars. He reaches out a tentative finger to stroke Juliette’s downy head.
“She’s so small,” he marvels. “And so perfect. I can’t believe we made this little human.”
His voice cracks on the last word. Your tough Formula 1 driver melts into a puddle of emotion in the presence of his daughter.
You glance up at Charles, your husband, your soulmate, and now the father of your child. The utter love and joy shining from his eyes in this moment eclipses every birthday and every milestone you’ve shared before.
“I used to think so many birthdays were the best day of my life,” you say softly. “But now … this is it. The real best day.”
Charles smiles through his tears and leans in to kiss you tenderly. “This is just the start of so many best days together.”
You both gaze back down at the baby nestled between you. Juliette blinks up at you tiredly and the sight of her green eyes looking back at you takes your breath away.
Charles lets out an awed little laugh. “She has my eyes.”
He holds out a hand and Juliette instinctively grasps his finger. Charles completely melts.
“Hello, ma petite princesse,” he coos. “I’m your papa. And I’m going to love you forever.”
Juliette seems to study his face intently before giving a big yawn that makes you both chuckle. Your heart feels fit to burst watching Charles bond instantly with your daughter.
The next hours pass in a blissful blur of feeding, diaper changes, and stealing each moment possible to just gaze at the miracle you’ve created. You almost forget it’s even your birthday until Charles speaks up.
“You know, I had something else planned to celebrate today but Juliette decided she simply couldn’t wait,” he laughs.
You just smile. “This is the greatest gift I could have asked for.”
He leans down to brush a feather-light kiss to Juliette’s forehead, then yours.
“I guess we’ll just have to plan an extra special party when you’re both home,” he says with a smile. “Our little princess deserves the biggest birthday bash for entering the world on such a special day.”
You grin up at him. “I have a feeling her daddy will go all out.”
“Only the best for my girls.” Charles winks.
Juliette stirs in your arms, letting out the tiniest of baby sighs that melts you both instantly.
As Juliette drifts to sleep cradled between you, her little fingers curled around yours, you know this birthday marks the start of your greatest adventure yet and many more amazing birthdays still to come.
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chknbzkt · 7 months
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Anddd for the one that started it all: Moondrop the Night Terror!!! \o/
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Stand-alone!!!
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More pictures and lore below!!
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Proto dragon Moon (yucky man, I love him so)
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Gremlin to not-gargoyle pipeline is so real lmaooo-
The shades, abyssal inky monsters that take vague, bastardized forms based on things they see (and oft consume) are infamous for only venturing out of their pools at night. Shades are, however, not the only thing that stalks Hyde’s Crossing and it’s people when the sun falls ‘neath the horizon.
Yet another “problem dragon” (with an impressively sizeable bounty on his head!!), Moon’s disposition towards humans in particular is hostile at best, potentially deadly at worst. He relishes in the chaos and unrest his nightly excursions cause to all manner of folk, seemingly unpredictable in that he never sticks around in any one part of Hyde’s Crossing for too long.
No, indeed efforts have been ramping up of late to catch him. He’s responsible for all manner of crimes including arson, murder of livestock, theft, jaywalking, vandalism, bribery, forgery… and murder. Never you mind that the deaths in question were either an accident on his end or that of his would-be slayers, unfortunately he’s not particularly interested in sticking around to give his testimony to the contrary.
So, as efforts to encourage monster hunters to kill him dead in the form of steadily rising bounty rewards continue being made, he’s stuck nomadically jumping around from place to place to evade capture or worse. He’s not keen on stopping his nightly reigns of terror, he wants to be feared and he likes the purchase that comes with having no alignments or attachments.
He’s made attachments with humans before. He has the iron collar to show for it. Never again.
He has no hoard to call his own and it’s not doing his dubious mental stability (with like zero support) any favors. He does tend to linger near villages with libraries a tad longer despite the risk, however.
It’s only a matter of time before his bounty gets upped to “kill on sight,” though to finally sort himself and his baggage out may require being “slain” by the right hunter he meets at the right time…
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moondal514 · 5 months
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Been a while since I made an AFTG fic rec list so here’s a fic rec list of some of my fave extremely underrated AFTG gen fics
an interlude by clytemnestras
smoking kills
Short but fantastic ficlet that’s a picture-perfect illustration of Renee & Andrew’s brotp
A Brief History of Exy According to Philomena Cunk by nebulousviolet
Breakout documentary* star Philomena Cunk takes on the violent world of exy for the sport's thirtieth anniversary, featuring exclusive interviews from Kevin Day, David Wymack, Dan Wilds, and MORE!
(*Outcome of court case still pending.)
Hilarious crossover with the iconic Philomena Cunk
Salvation by OneSweetMelody
Stephanie Walker did not save her.
Fantastic Renee character study about her crafting her new identity with religion
collateral/roadkill by animediac/ @jaywalkers
“You can’t be Nathaniel anymore,” his mother had said. “Abram, listen. You can’t be Nathaniel.”
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When Nathaniel is ten, his mother tells him he’s not allowed to be, anymore.
A Nathaniel (not Neil, Nathaniel) character study that gave me actual goosebumps from how well it’s written
monster mash, more like monster bash by adverbialstarlight/ @adverbialstarlight
The Monsters are vampires about to get a new housemate, the newly turned Robin Cross. Good thing the Council Halloween party is coming so they can show her the ropes.
aka a What We Do In The Shadows AU with no prior knowledge needed
Hysterically funny and comedy gold
the places we've been, the people we've become by pneumatics
He’s twenty years old and he’s thrown himself into a family where he’s as lost as they are unforgiving.
Beautiful but sad short piece about when Nicky 1st starts living with the twinyards
Maria by Ateiluj/ @awildtei
Maria Hemmick, over the years.
Explores and adds dimension to Maria Hemmick and is legit one of the best fics I’ve read in this fandom
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itsdeathofabachelor · 2 months
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I really like the dynamic I’ve created for Jotaro and Kakyoin in a modern day setting.
Like, Jotaro got an after school gig and instead of going to college he’s took a gap year off the funds of said job, which is like some sort of warehouse or labourer thing because he can dead-lift three hundred pounds.
(The fact that he can deadlift three hundred pounds is also why his manager lets him smoke and drink outside on his breaks as long as nobody else sees him and it doesn’t affect his work, which is doesn’t because a can of beer isn’t going to knock him on his ass being 6’5 and like two hundred pounds himself*)
And Kakyoin is in college for some sort of business something because he also doesn’t know what to do but his very traditional Japanese parents overseas refuse to raise a NEET so he picked whatever had the highest graduate rate and games alone in his apartment after classes.
They’re roommates now but had been friends since they were kids and had reconnected literally by chance, as Jotaro had been working at said labourering gig at that time to pay for his Mom’s medical bills.
Side note: in this au Holly’s sick but more chronic illness sick, and after Sadao realized she wasn’t getting better and, in fact, it was a lifelong illness, he told her to leave. As the Japanese High End music industry is extremely judgmental and he was advised by several of his coworkers (and mistresses) that it would ruin his image if he was branded as a nurse and homebody taking care of Holly while Jotaro was at school.
With that in mind, Jotaro and Holly moved to America to live with Holly’s father, Joseph. Who is considerably more racist and far less charming for people to over look said racism. Suzy Q, his late ex wife and Holly’s bio-mom, noticed that after he gained a few pounds and suddenly didn’t have pretty privilege anymore.
She still barges into Joseph’s house to visit Holly and Jotaro, much to Joseph’s dismay. Jotaro likes her but finds her pushy and touchy without asking for permission first.
Jotaro worked at the same job he does now immediately after school to avoid the jokes and pokes at his father and about his race from Joseph, and seeing his mother try to walk again and cry when she can’t— Lining up perfectly one day when Kakyoin was walking (having just recently moved from overseas into the area of Jotaro’s job site) back from a later class.
Looking up from his phone he saw Jotaro, who was looking right at him from across the road, past the wire fencing set up to stop anyone from getting into the site and messing with the machines.
Kakyoin didn’t recognize Jotaro nearly as quickly as Jotaro recognized him. So as Jotaro long-jumped over the fencing and came barrelling into the street to the sidewalk where he stood, there was a split second where he thought he was going to die by the hands of a two hundred and fifty pound silverback gorilla. Like in the bootleg movie he had just watched the night before. And he wondered if this was the digital pirating god finally taking his dues.
Quickly, I should note, I remember seeing a post somewhere about how Jotaro’s love language is soft but he’d never let you get that close to him (the post included a picture of a teddy bear in a steel cage to represent this) and I think that fits very well with my own fanon interpretation of Jotaro’s character.
However, I do also think after so much time spent trying to help his mother, dealing with the weight of having to be the only reliable shoulder for her to cry on (because we all know THIS Joseph doesn’t have a emotionally intelligent bone in his body) and also the crushing feeling of grinding your body into a pulp for both school and some labouring job you hate— after about the year or so he had been there— would have had him clinging to those hinges by his fingernails.
So, bam! The last comfort of his childhood that hadn’t been ripped away, standing awkwardly at the crosswalk because he wasn’t sure if he should jaywalk because there were no cars coming, or if he should wait because the statistics of automobile casualties due to the average pedestrian’s immortality complex when it comes to giant metal machines are flicking behind his eyelids— obviously, Jotaro loses his mind.
Imagine a black bear. Giant. Huge, okay? Got that?
That’s what Kakyoin was suffocating into as Jotaro hugged him so hard his pre-mature stand popped out a little from his back.
This Kakyoin, having no fighting instincts what-so-ever, kind of just goes limp. And Jotaro, so happy he’s really really upset, shakily puts him back down.
And then there’s a moment like, wait wait wait wait. . . I know that mean mug— and then Kakyoin sort of connects the dots because Jotaro had always been a lot taller than him and also he literally was the only person Kakyoin had ever known that had let him blow out his birthday candles at his seventh birthday party when he found out Kakyoin’s parents didn’t ’believe in birthdays’ other than ‘milestone birthdays’.
And Jotaro had also treated him with basic human decency, considering he could have very easily bullied him.
So his face was burned into his memory for years now, whenever he tried to socialize and said the wrong thing, or if he saw a friend group doing friend group activities and suddenly he felt very very lonely. He actually really missed his and Jotaro’s friendship.
So they became best friends again like immediately.
It turns out in their time apart, Kakyoin had gotten an Autism diagnosis, which explained his unusual speech pacing and all the other things leading to ruthless bullying in middle school.
When he told him this on the floor of Kakyoin’s apartment— both of them doing a Pokémon themed puzzle together even though Jotaro had trouble picking the pieces off the floor— Jotaro could not have given less of a shit, but instead asked if that’s why, when the were kids, Kakyoin had always asked him for ‘pressure’ (AKA, Jotaro being taller than Kakyoin made it so he could give him a hug or lay on top of him in order to provide a good sensory feeling, or what Kakyoin had called ‘Pressure’).
And Kakyoin’s like, ‘Yeah.’
And Jotaro’s like, ‘Do you need some now?’ And mutters something about not wanting him to freak because he’s over whelmed or anything but really he wants a hug and doesn’t want to be the one to ask.
And Kakyoin’s like, ‘Sure. That’d be nice because I couldn’t enjoy the other hug properly when thinking you were a stranger trying to kill me’.
And now they’re roommates and Kakyoin streams his gaming seshes after he realized his parent’s monthly payments towards his rent were giving them ammo for guilt-trips and that he could make money off of games.
Weirdly enough, the same speech abnormalities he got bullied for actually helped him get his streaming platform, as it became his ‘brand’ in a way. Same thing with his flat humour and ‘fun facts’. Also, because he talks so much, his streams are very long, and there’s a running joke in his audience to— when he’s saying he’s going to log off for the night— ask him questions and see how long they can keep him on stream.
He doesn’t have a face cam, and plans to remain faceless to his audience, so whenever he really needs to focus and Jotaro comes lumbering in from a hard day at work and kicks his shoes off, Kakyoin—laying on the couch—raises his arms with his controller clicking over his head, not looking away from the screen, and is like ‘Jotaro, pressure. Streaming.’
And Jotaro hears Ode To Joy playing in his head as he tosses his ballcap with the company’s logo somewhere behind the tv and falls facefirst onto Kakyoin, who, after getting the air pressed out of his lungs, wins his match and talks to the chat.
The chat, obviously, asks about Jotaro, and Kakyoin just says, ‘A good friend of mine gifts me plus five stamina.’ Or some nerd shit.
* I headcannon Jotaro as fucking huge btw but that’s because I love very large angry men who, when relaxed, melts into a puddle of goo because their muscles aren’t straining. Jotaro has that kind of physique. Suzie Q (being Italian) loves this as Jotaro burns more calories flexing all day because he’s so stressed and tensed about everything, than a two mile sprint. So he eats. A lot. He’s one of the only people who actually eats enough not to have left overs. It impresses Joseph more than he’d ever admit.
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bewbin · 6 months
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was jaywalking across a busy street and a cop asked me what i was doing. i said "i was jaywalking sorry for that then i look at the officer". his eyes welled up with tears as he looks up and says "Grandfather". His grandfather was a boy born deep in Appalachia. Cut so far off from society that they'd never fit in with city folk ever, but this officers grandfather had dreams. That one day he would leave this secluded mountain top farm and become one of the city folk he had seen in the moving pictures. Eventually at 22 he had hunted enough foxes to move to the city. Wasnt all happiness and dance from the films but isntead he saw a harsh cloud of ash enveloping the city but he didnt let that dismay him. He had asked a man dressed in a 20 dollar suit where he could get setup in this city. The rich man leaned down, scoffed at him and his dirty overalls. Overalls that he hadnt washed nor changed his entire journey down the mountain. The rich man laughingly says "this is no place for Jay scum like you". "My name isnt Jay" the officers grandfather replied. "covered in dirt and walk up talking to me as if we are friends with that god awful country bumpkin accent? All you mountain folk are just chatterboxes hahahah like bluejays. That's why we just call all of you jays. now get out of the street boy". I look back at the officer crying in the middle of the sidewalk. He walks away looking at me with disappointment . I didn't get a ticket that day. But something far worse
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dearlymrme · 1 year
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Hi! For the prompts list, could you do 131 with Papa Secondo? I love the idea of him being really soft with his partner when he’s in private (or when he’s high because let’s be real he steals primos stash after a long day of papa-ing), and I think it’s a great prompt for some fun and funky Papa Pitbull content
Thank you for the ask! It was absolutely fun to write. We need more soft Secondo. I have only been high and felt serious effects twice. The first time, it made me feel so comfortable, and the sensation that my whole skin was wrapping me in a warm hug. The second time was from vaping and gave me uncontrollable laughter to the point my stomach was cramping, and I got five minute abs.
Cherry Poppers (Secondo x Reader)
Secondo x Reader || Recreational Drug Use || Age Difference || Daddy Kink || Innocence Kink || WC: 3031
His brothers call him a cradle robber, but neither of them are much better. Primo's wife is thirty years younger than him, and Terzo's current lover is twenty below. Your age doesn't matter much to him, but it does play a part. It's also about the fact that you are very inexperienced. Your friends had called you a prude, you didn't drink, you didn't party, you didn't even jaywalk, brought up by your mother to be afraid of damn near everything that was fun, that was wild and 'outrageous'.
You had realized that you lived your life under a gaslighter and got away. You needed a place to stay to get your life in order, support from people that would encourage you to live. You made new friends, and while you may not have made satanic vows yet, you certainly threw away your old ones. Then you met him. Your innocent but charismatic and eager sense to behold everything labeled 'evil' is what attracted him. Despite being the most inexperienced little swimmer of the church, you toed the water, liked how it felt, and wanted to swim.
You just needed someone to catch you when you jumped into the deep end.
And he was more than eager to be those arms.
He popped your cherry in more ways than one. Alcohol, dancing, sex, and now drugs.
The bed was comfortable, apparently one of the comfiest you had ever been on. He can only imagine the look of confusion of his brothers' faces when they enter their rooms to see all their pillows missing. Said foisted pillows were stacked as a mountain behind him, supporting you both nearly upright but conforming enough to let you relax and sink in them.
He had told you to get comfortable. You had quickly toed off your shoes, removed your borrowed hoodie, which practically ate you, and all but fell on your face into the nest, sighing in bliss. He then brought out the entertainment of the day. A small bong, marble in pattern with rich brown and cream colors, and already loaded.
You stared at the piece with wide but eager eyes. Sat up and then leaned against his side. He chuckled as you made grabby hands and then gently took the glass from him. He then waved the lighter in your face, snatching it out of reach when you tried to take it.
"Never used one before?" He asked, knowing full well you haven't.
"No. But you're gonna help me, right?" He nods and then lets you take the green Bic lighter before tapping his finger gently at the loaded dish.
"Press the lighter to it and let the smoke gather until I say when." He instructs. You swallow your excitement and try not to grin like an over eager kid before doing as he told you.
Now, you watch as a cloud forms inside the glass bowel. He gauges carefully, taking in your fascinated and excited expression as you watch the glass fog.
"That's enough." He taps your knee. "Now, seal your mouth over the top and breathe it in." You do as he instructs and lock your lips around the smooth glass opening and breathe. He bites his lip, picturing your lips wrapped around something else.
The smoke is hard on your lungs, causing a strain that you can't help but cough through it. A cloud of smoke leaves your mouth as you hack.
"Sorry." You choke, embarrassed. Secondo gives a chuckle from beside you, taking the glass from your hands.
"That's alright, ciliegia. Cough it out." He guides, and you try to breathe through it, but it's more a wheeze before it catches in the back of your throat again and you cough again.
He loads it up again. Letting the smoke gather much longer than you did before inhaling deeply. He doesn't cough, though, and you're impressed because it feels like there's something scratching the inside of your lungs.
He blows out a steady stream, and you settle into his side as he leans back against the pillows and lets his head loll. He hums, already a little high, and he feels his body practically turn into liquid as he enjoys the warmth.
"Now, we wait." One of his arms slings over your shoulder. He's casually dressed down, one of his off days, and of course, he spends it with you. He's not wearing his gloves again, and you shudder at the memory of his soft hands trailing down between your thighs, not but a week ago.
You're not the only one thinking about it. Being able to feel your skin against his has his dick quickly stirring against his slacks, and he takes a deep breath through his mouth. Ah, it was that kind of trip.
"Damn brother. I see how it is. Give us the commercial and keep the good shit for yourself."
"You nicked from Primo?" You ask and he huffed.
"He's not going to miss it. Old fart probably won't even notice until it's too late. Besides, who do you think he's growing it for in the first place? Us."
"Us specifically or like, the royal us?" He waves a hand.
"Doesn't matter. It's serving its purpose." He snickers. "For the good of the church." You laugh at his little cheer and lay your head against him. Content and very comfortable all of a sudden.
You run your hand over the bedsheets, and it kind of tickles. The duvet is embroidered with a very ugly gaudy but fancy pattern, clashes yet matches the room so well. Tracing it and catching on the fancy stitching causes your hands to tingle, and you lift one to look over it, and then you slowly begin to rub your fingers together.
It's almost as if you could feel your fingerprints. But your fingertips are just a part of your skin. You're just feeling your skin. The realization that, no, it's not your fingerprints. You just have skin. It seems to be the funniest thing in the world to you because you start to giggle and can't seem to stop.
"I think it might be kicking in." He chuckles and leans over to place a kiss on your forehead. You hum, further sinking into his side as it feels like his whole body has just opened up and enveloped you in a hug, or is that just your skin?
You're high. That's funny. You giggle again. It's funny just knowing you're high and that that's what is responsible for the giggles. Why is this so funny? It's funny that it's funny. You snicker and start to laugh again.
Secondo is now laughing with you and turns your head to place another kiss on your forehead and then leans down to kiss you on your mouth.
What an interesting feeling, his lips gliding against yours. You ruin it by breaking into another fit of giggles.
"It's good, right?" He smiles, earning a very enthusiastic nod. Then he simply stares at you, smiling joyously. It's a good look on him. You're so used to the hard glare and strong lines on his face, but he looks so young when he smiles. He's still staring. You're in the midst of breathing between bouts of girly laughter and looking him deep into his mismatched eyes.
"What?" You ask him, and his smile grows.
He breaks apart loudly and leads kisses behind your ear before nipping on your lobe gently. It sends a spark down below to your naval and has you huffing in quickly building arousal.
"Oh, don't mind me. I'm just enjoying the view." He takes advantage of your pause between fits of tittering to capture your mouth again, and this time, you moan into the kiss. His tongue his hot and heavy in your mouth as you attempt to slowly explore it. His kisses are always passionate, always letting you feel your way into what's comfortable and then gracefully leads you into something amazing.
Then you snort as his words finally hit you, and you push him lightly on the shoulder. He playfully attempts to bite your hand, snatching it up as you try to get away and laying kisses on your fingers. They tickle, too.
"Wanna try something?" He asks
"Always if it's with you." Now you're laughing at your own cheesiness.
He reached for bong again and took a deep hit. The water gurgling breaks through the room. It's starting to stink, a combination between the weed and his natural spicy smell. It's not a bad scent, but it'll definitely be stuck to you and your clothes for the rest of the day.
Then Secondo grabs you by your jaw and leans in close. You've seen this in movies. As he blows the smoke in your face, you breathe it in, eyes shining as your lungs complain. You turn away to cough again and hum as it serves to make your head feel heavier and your body hotter.
Secondo drags you back again by your chin and captures you're lips once more. This time you're taking change and he happily allows it. It's still a little clumsy and he knows that's because of the weed, you're a fast learner, you went from 'never kissed a man' to professional in a matter of weeks with his practice.
You hand skims his inner thigh, bumping right up against his cock and he's quickly reminded of just how damn hot this is. Getting you high and taking advantage of you had been the plan of the day but he hadn't accounted on it having this much effect on him.
He mentally grumbles another 'fuck you' to his older brother and breaks the kiss with a loud smack. He hisses against your chin, baring his teeth and grabs your hand as it skirts his knee.
"I'm so hard right now." He admits and then presses your hand directly against his aching dick, straining against the inner seam of his pants.
You murmur his words back to him in a daze and dare to look down at the indent of his cock in his jeans. At the sight, your core tightens and you press your thighs together.
"Can I sit on it?" You ask him because if it feels this good from just him touching you, you can't help but wonder what it would feel like if he was fucking you. You're already wet, the drug has you practically leaking, you can feel the slickness between your folds just from shifting your legs. The action sending spark of arousal further through you and your stroke Secondo's cock through his pants, wrapping your hand around the indention and giving a firm squeeze.
He groans, not expecting you to take charge, and his cock jumps against your palm.
You suddenly feel achingly empty.
"Yeah? You wanna sit on Daddy's cock?" He rephrases the question in a way that has your breath hitch and butterflies fluttering in your chest from his use of the word. Yeah, you want that. Absolutely. The longer you go empty the more desperate you suddenly feel for it. Your pussy clenches on nothing in desire for something. You nod dumbly as your hands go from gripping his dick to fumbling with his button and zipper.
He happily helps you, and together, you pull out your prize. Released from tight constraint of his pants, Secondo gives a grunt of relief and wraps a hand around his member, giving it a firm squeeze. It's flushed an angry red and already dribbling with precum.
He snickers as you thumb at the head for a moment, fascinated by the feeling of wet against your finger. Then you're distracted by the heat of his dick, hot, smooth, and soft the skin is. You trace your hands down to tangle with his thick pubic hair before throwing your leg over his and hovering in his lap. He lifts your skirt, watching as you part your underwear to the side and carefully line his cock up with your entrance.
You sink low enough to pop the head inside of you and have to bite your bottom lip to stop yourself from crying out how good it feels. Just that small amount has your legs quivering and cunt spasming. You can feel every bit of the bridge between his head and his shaft. It's hot, fascinating at how it feels hotter outside your cunt as your combined heats just melt into one, kinda like what you're doing now.
Secondo hisses between his teeth, hands grabbing at your thighs, but he makes no move to lower you. He has no intention of rushing you. He wants you to experience every bit of this at your own comfortable pace. He needs something to hold, though. If he doesn't have something to at least dig his nails into, he's going to lose his mind.
He blows out steadily through his mouth, nearly whistling before he takes in your appearance. You're flushed, your eyes are puffy and red from the smoke, and transfixed on where your bodies are joined, even though a small amount. You look so cute like this. Trusting him to take care of you, to hold back while you adjust, to help you through the dark water as you figure out how to swim amongst the sharks.
It makes his head spin, the amount of control he has over you. He pushed the first drink into your hand and then more as he helped you figure out what you had a taste for. He helped you let loose, weave and grind your hips against his as he taught you how to dance to that naughty stripper's music, and the again slowly move to something more casual in his office later that night. He's the one that pulled your cute little panties down around your ankles and ate you out for thirty minutes, stretched you out for ten, and then fucked you slow and carefully for what felt like an eternity.
He's getting high from more than just the weed. You were as good as a drug.
"Come on. I thought you wanted to sit on it."
Oh yeah. You did say that.
In one fluid and smooth drop, you take him fully . You croak a low gasp because it's tight with no prior preparation, but you're slick enough and wanton enough that it goes in easy. Your body all but welcomes the sudden fullness, the way your cunt starts to envelope around his prick, smooth skin that feels molten hot against the wet walls of your pussy.
"Fuuuuck. You're so tight." Secondo grunts as you force him to immediately bottom out. His balls, already tight, pressed against the slopes of your ass.
"So full." You describe, almost caught in a dream and press your hand to your lower stomach. You must be imagining it, but you could swear you feel a bump from his cock inside of you.
You reach up and wrap your arms around him, resting your head on his shoulder and just feeling for a moment. Secondo seems to understand this and returns your hug, running his hands up and down your back in soothing motions. It tickles, bursts goosebumps all over your body, and makes you take in tranquil breath.
"Can I move, ciliegia?" He asks you, and you nod before he rolls back against the pillows, bringing you with him as he props his knees up and starts to move.
He gyrates his hips with a meticulous rhythm, a slow ride, he's in no hurry.
You feel absolutely wrecked from the inside out and it was good he was taking charge at the moment because you can barely function properly right now, lost in the sensations of his cock dragging back and forth against your walls. Then he rubs his cockhead direction into your g-spot and you sob in pleasure.
"Shh, it's alright, piccola. Just hold onto me. Hold onto Daddy." Secondo licks his lips and takes in deep breaths, trying as hard as he can to make this last. "I'm gonna take good care of you."
The weed enhances everything. You feel as hot as an oven. He palms your ass and snickers. A literal cake fresh out of the oven. Shit, now he's the one laughing at his own joke.
You want to weep by how stimulated you feel. And when he suddenly starts to laugh, it resonates deep inside your chest while you par him with soft mumbles and whines of pleasure. He dares to thrust, just once, and your body immediately locks up on him as he plucks an intense and long-lived orgasm from you.
It crashes, tearing softly through your stomach and spreading from your limbs and curling your toes. You've never felt one like it before. It's like a movie in slow motion. Secondo grunts, as though pained, and for a moment, you thought you had tightened hard enough around him to injure him.
"Hurt you?" You mumble, brained. Secondo spits another laugh and shakes his head. He sucks in a breath, tenses, and lets out a rattled groan. He hugs you close, so close. Then he arches, tugging you as firmly to his chest as he can. His lips press gentle but firm kisses to your shoulders, nosing your shirt out of the way so he can touch skin.
He stops, and you feel it. You feel his dick jumping inside of you, hard throbs in uneven time as he shoots rope after rope of cum into your soppy wet cunt, directly into your womb. You sigh in bliss and rub your hand over your lower stomach, imaging what it must look like, having his load burning white into the pinks of your cunt.
You sit together like this for a moment, Secondo's eyes half shut as he enjoys your heat for as long as comfortable. Eventually, he's going to have to pull out, but for right now, this is paradise. You then press your lips to his ear and tell him something that's only so damn funny because of how much he considers it.
"We should fuck high as often as possible."
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thedreadvampy · 8 months
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literally just seeing a post like "this person openly admits to wanting to fuck dogs!!!! [post of them taking about wanting to fuck dogs] [post of them talking about enjoying werewolf porn] [post of them talking about enjoying werewolf porn] [post of them talking about enjoying werewolves in general] [post of them talking about enjoying werewolf porn]" and I'm just. what a perfect example of your classic Murder Arson And Jaywalking callout post.
like ok it's bad to want to fuck dogs. we can both agree it's bad to want to fuck dogs. that being the case. you could probably stop the post right after posting a screenshot of them saying 'I think fucking dogs is cool and good and I explicitly want to do it in real life and do not believe there's a consent issue'
because the thing is, right
wanting to fuck dogs (real, actual animals capable of distress) and having sexual fantasies about werewolves (fictional, made up people-with-animal-characteristics not capable of anything because they don't exist but if they did, they could probably consent) are. different things. even if you think fantasizing about werewolf sex is gross. it's different to justifying having sex with an actual animal that exists. they're different things.
and the fact that you say "see this person wants to fuck dogs! here's one confession of that exact fact and 20 screenshots of them fantasising about werewolves, for which the only context is my statement that they want to fuck dogs" comes across like perhaps you do not know that those are different things. and that makes your post look. pettier and stupider. than if you just posted the relevant screenshot where they say "I want to fuck dogs and think that's morally acceptable" and then. STOPPED TALKING.
like istg every callout post on this website has the vibe of a lawyer going "your honour, the defendant is guilty for the following reasons. Firstly, he was captured on film swinging an axe into the murder victim in front of a crowd of witnesses, whereupon he started yelling 'I KILLED HIM FOR THE FOLLOWING REASONS, THERE WERE NO EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES, I DID A MURDER OF MY OWN FREE WILL'. Secondly, he enjoys watching children's cartoons with themes of violence. Thirdly, he owns a picture of a lumberjack, and what do lumberjacks use? AXES. Fourthly, I don't like his hair and I think he smells bad. I rest my case."
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divorcetual · 7 months
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ur jaywalking post is rly funny bcos I got beeped at, yelled at, and revved at today all in the span of a few hours bcos apparently my crosswalk methods were so insane that everyone wanted to kill me. I hate you btw
I forgot what I was gonna say HYSTERECTOMY BLAST
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[ID: a motion-blurred picture displaying different types of hysterectomies with lightning overlayed /End ID]
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scaredy-draws · 6 months
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I love love love the “and Make Them Bloom” series! Could you give me a fun fact abt each group?
Hi hi hi!!!! So excited to see ppl liking the series omg jkdfjk
I've no idea what a fun fact is!!! So I've consulted our beloved co-author @jaywalking-rogue
Yakamoz: They're the first group that actually came to mind when making a shuffle au! Their name, yakamoz, is a Turkish word that means the reflection of the moonlight on the sea. I named them, as I happen to be the Turkish speaking one ehe.
Another fun fact about Yakamoz is that they all need a disguise when going out because they're fairly famous (as far as having appeared on TV a couple of times) but they're all completely terrible at it: Akito was Touya's entire fashion sense, if An wears "casual clothes" she gets recognised by street musicians around the town instead, Tsukasa always goes overboard with it and ends up looking So Suspicious the rest of them end up having to make him change into normal clothes, Nene and Kanade get recognised because of their hair and Mafuyu's stony expression is always a dead giveaway no matter the outfit. -Jay
Another another fact is that they have too many members and don't fit into 3dmvs to take pictures of them in :')
Re/Born: The first thing ReBorn did when they got together as a band was pick their designated colours, but Ichika and Haruka always mix up which blue is whose. Ichika also has an indigo streak in her hair in this AU for that reason.
Re/Born is such a cool name imo too,,, Jay named them.
Lulla-tale !!: They take an embarassingly long time to actually form the whole group and then an even longer time to discover their sekai, which only makes sense considering how big their group is. I wanted the theatre group to be bigger because canon WxS is simply a very small cast.
Lulla-tale !! was named by yours truly <3
希望—アイデンティティ(Kibou-Identity): They all have a protectiveness over one another, each thinking that the others are too nice for the world. Shizuku's big sister instincts and the things she's seen when in the idol industry, Honami and Mizuki's experience with bullying, and Minori having been pushed down so many times while trying to become an idol, they all think they need to protect the others from experiences like their own.
Another fun fact is that I still can't name them because Jay and I are silly and wanted to name them something in Japanese, but I don't know any so we're struggling. Their current name means Hope Identity and is sort of temporary maybe perhaps?
Backdraft: When Akito first asked Shiho to partner up with him, she was like "oh yeah sure," she liked his singing, his style etc. Only when they actually hung out in vivid street did she realise he's like. really well known there.
Featuring Shiho as main character of a new hit manga: I Accidentally Partnered Up With A Local Celebrity!? -Jay
Backdraft was named by Jay, after a certain song, kudos to anyone who can guess it!
Thank you so so much for the ask, you've no idea how much it brightened both Jay and I's time :)
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daily-spanish-word · 8 months
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to carry, take, wear llevar
“What?! carry the jaguar?! Okay, but not without giving him a jab first, so he’ll be unconscious.”
I don’t like waiting for traffic lights when carrying something heavy, so I’ll jaywalk.
He carries a skateboard. Él lleva un monopatín.
Picture by Hafiz Issadeen on Flickr
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decaflondonfog · 9 months
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10 characters, 10 fandoms, 10 people
thank you @magpiefngrl for the tag! i LOVED looking through your list. it's kind of silly to be doing this like two months after you tagged me but oh well... that's how i roll i guess i did this like a year ago maybe but i am purposefully trying not to hunt down that post to compare bc i think this is a fun exercise in reflection. favourite characters are great because sometimes they're the worst little guy on the planet, sometimes they're just a guy you relate to, sometimes they're a character you wish you could put under a microscope and analyse deeply, and sometimes they're a guy you want to [redacted redacted redacted redacted]. the human brain is a magical place, eh? let's do this! (guy is v much gender neutral here, you know what i mean)
rules: name 10 of your favourite characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people to do the same
kevin day from All For The Game [laszlo cravensworth voice: 'cause he’s my best friend, he’s my pal, he’s my homeboy, my rotten soldier, he’s my sweet cheese, my good-time boy. i also would like to— *intense coughing fit*]
declan lynch from The Raven Cycle/The Dreamer Trilogy [older siblings with ibs who would burn the whole world down for their bb siblings rise the fuck UP]
princess beatrice from Red, White and Royal Blue [she falls in the middle of the venn diagram between the two above, into which i unfortunately fall as well: older sibling, addict]
kent parson from Check, Please! [the villainous half of a fucked-up unhealthy codependent homoerotic friendship rep ayyyyy]
tyrannus basilton grimm-pitch from the Simon Snow Series [wet little rat. perfect bastard. ultimate romantic simp]
harrowhark nonagesimus from The Locked Tomb Series [what i said about baz but she's also hundreds of corpses dsfkjhgfd no one is doing it like her]
merlin emrys from BBC Merlin [i mean what can i say about this guy that i haven't in the last ten years jhkjh sometimes the magic is being gay and having a massive boner for the prince you serve yknow]
shauna shipman from Yellowjackets [what i said about kent but with extra cannibalism]
simon "ghost" riley from Call of Duty MWII [idk man, you ever get dragged into a fandom you have 0 knowledge about and find that suddenly you care about these characters? i am obsessed with this dude, i want to wrap his enormous bum in bubblewrap, make him a large cup of tea and make him watch hundreds of episodes of bluey]
aiden kane from the Fence Comics [ah. aiden and the curse of loving your best friend but being unable to tell them and sleeping with half the world just to fill that hole in your heart]
i would have loooooooooved to use little pictures because if i put all these guys together you really realise how much i love a guy who looks like a sick victorian child, bloody mouth and sunken eyes and all, but we're not in the business of stealing art so we're going with the list version!!
tagging @nanatsuyu @jaywalkers @courtjestermerlin @celestialbee @mostlymaudlin @skeptiquewrites @caroll-in @thetrojeans @dogintheboiler @starwarned, feed me all your blorbos, if you please <3
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theflyingfeeling · 1 year
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Hi dear, so excited to see you doing Valentines promts again!
How about Olli/Allu having a very moomin date? 👀
Hiiiiii! I'm so excited to be writing these again! <3 Here it comes, my first Valentine's Day prompt fic of the season! ✨
First of all, I'm not sure if this is moominous enough for you, sweet anon, but I hope you like it nevertheless 💖
Second of all, this maaaaaaay have gotten a little out of hand, and not only in terms of the wordcount. You'll see what I'm talking about when you read it 🤭
It's kind of an AU, but nothing too specific, just your regular no-band AU in which Olli and Allu meet each other for the first time (in person). Again, read and find out 🙏
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words: 5708 (see? unnecesarily long 🙄 so you better make yourself a nice cup of something and just sit back for this one!)
rating: something between G and T, I guess 😅
trigger warnings: none, but prepare for a whole lot of pining and a bit of sillyness, as per usual 🥰
edit. now also on AO3 💖
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Your Tinder date wants to take you where?”
Aleksi sighed as they stopped to wait for the traffic light to turn green.
“First of all, it’s not a date, and certainly not a Tinder one,” Aleksi corrected Niko for about the twelfth time that day. He still regretted telling his friend he was meeting this guy he had been chatting with on a discussion board almost daily for over a year. Too embarrassed to admit it was a platform for fantasy role play, Aleksi had seen it best to simply answer “online” when Niko had asked him how he had met Olli, which naturally had led to Niko promptly deciding “online” equalled a dating app. “Second of all, I don’t think he’s actually taking me to the Moomin Café, we’re only meeting there.”
“Of all the places in the city?” 
“It’s a recognizable landmark!” Aleksi exclaimed and proceeded to picture the two-metre Moomin statue that stood in front of the theme café dedicated to beloved literature characters. With a small smile forming on his lips, he then imagined his internet friend waiting for him beside it, hopefully wearing the cool leather jacket Aleksi had seen in pictures, and was almost left behind when Niko suddenly jaywalked across the street.
“Still,” his friend said when Aleksi strode to catch him up, “the place doesn’t exactly ooze romance.”
“I told you, it’s not–”
“Not a date? Then why on earth did you send me all those selfies of you posing in different outfits, asking for my opinion? I’ve never seen you want to impress anyone that bad without hoping to get in their Moomin sheets.”
“I’m not– wait, what?” Aleksi turned to look at Niko to see the man hardly able to hide his amusement.
“Well, since he’s taking you to a Moomin café I suppose he also has–”
“Just– just shut up, okay? Whatever he has in his bed is irrelevant because we are not–” Aleksi’s heart almost stopped when his eyes spotted the enormous Moomintroll down the boulevard and, indeed, a man he recognized as Olli standing next to it. To Aleksi’s mild disappointment, Olli wasn’t wearing the leather jacket but a simple outfit of black pants, a white t-shirt and what seemed to be a bucket hat on his head. He had a searching look in his eyes, stopping to glance at almost every passerby as his fingers fumbled with the zipper of the waist bag he was wearing across his chest.
“Is that him?” Niko whispered as they approached the front of the café.
“Y-yeah,” Aleksi said and cleared his throat, surprised to hear his own voice come out so hoarse and breathless, just because he caught a glimpse of his long-time internet friend for the first time in person.
All the way walking downtown, Aleksi had been annoyed by Niko’s insinuations about the date (which was not a date) with his online boyfriend (who was not his boyfriend), all the while trying to calm down the strange feeling in his stomach that he tried to explain with having drank too much coffee at breakfast (which he chalked up to barely having slept the previous night (because his head had been full of Olli and his rosy cheeks and gentle eyes until dawn, stuck in his mind after they had said goodnight to each other on Skype at two in the morning)). He had rolled his eyes at Niko’s merciless teasing, because there was no way he was going to admit he had been counting the days until they’d finally see each other face-to-face, sighing longingly or giggling into his pillow whenever he imagined even standing in front of Olli, mere metres away from all that charm and beauty that had Aleksi forget his lines during role play or smile to himself when he saw something that reminded him of Olli.
Maybe he’d even be bold enough to hug him. From Olli’s Instagram Aleksi had gathered Olli didn’t shy away from physical endearments, at least not with that curly-head blond Olli had told him was his best and oldest friend – “like a brother,” Olli had said, and Aleksi tried to ignore why hearing that had been such a relief – but of course Aleksi couldn’t know whether being physically affectionate applied only to Olli’s closest friends. He wouldn’t blame Olli for wanting to just nod at him from a respectful distance on their first meeting; he was still, all things considered, just some random dude he had started speaking with on the internet one blessed day.
They were roughly ten metres away from the entrance of the café when Olli finally noticed him. When their eyes met each other, the curve of Olli’s eyebrows softened and his lips parted, but then he directed his gaze to Niko walking next to Aleksi, and suddenly he looked just as lost and nervous as he had just moments before while he had been waiting for Aleksi to show up.
“Right, I guess this is where I leave you to it. If he turns out to be a serial killer or some other kinda lunatic, just give me a call and I’ll come rescue you, yeah?” Niko tapped Aleksi’s shoulder and skipped to the other side of the street before Aleksi could argue that he was pretty convinced Olli was neither of those things and that he wouldn't need to be rescued, thank you very much.
Aleksi saw Olli’s shoulders relax as he walked closer, then his lips starting to curve upwards. When there were only a few metres separating them, Olli glanced at the ground before looking up at Aleksi again, no longer able to hide his smile. 
“Hi,” Olli said softly and stretched out his arms towards Aleksi.
“Hi,” Aleksi sighed, and when Olli pulled him into a hug he was sure he was going to cry. Olli felt as soft as he looked and smelled even better than what Aleksi had imagined in his head, of honey and perhaps a hint of citrus. 
“So good to see you,” Olli said, much closer to Aleksi’s ear than he had anticipated, so close that it gave him goosebumps, even though in Olli’s embrace he felt warmer than he ever had in his life before.
“Yes, at last,” Aleksi agreed. All the sudden dopamine in his system made him so daring that he nudged the side of Olli’s head with his, causing the man’s hat to fall off. 
“Woops,” Olli laughed as he noticed the impact their embrace had on his headwear and finally let go of Aleksi.
“Sorry,” Aleksi smiled, crouching to pick up the hat. Handing it back to Olli, he noticed the Moomin character embroidered on it.
In his mind, he saw Niko raising his eyebrows knowingly.
“Shall we go in? They have an offer on cinnamon rolls today.”
Did I not tell you so? Aleksi heard Niko’s voice in his head. 
Yeah, and? Aleksi telepathically replied to his friend; with the way Olli was smiling at him, a little shy and his Groke bucket hat somewhat askew as he held the door to the café open for him, Aleksi would’ve walked through the gates of Hell if that’s where Olli wanted to take him.
Aleksi nearly gasped when Olli touched his lower black lightly as they entered the café, gently guiding him forward to the cosy coffee shop that filled Aleksi’s nostrils with the mixed aroma of brewed goods and freshly-baked bun. They didn’t say much as they stood in the queue to the counter, just sort of smiled at each other, and Aleksi wanted so much to pull Olli in for another hug or at least hold his hand a little.
“So, umm, who was that, by the way? The guy you came with,” Olli broke the silence between them. Aleksi was in a hurry to answer when he noticed Olli’s smile had begun to falter.
“Ah, that was just my friend Niko. He insisted on escorting me, like some sort of…chaperone. He once had a Grindr hook-up steal his sunglasses, so he doesn’t trust anyone he meets online anymore.”
(There was no point arguing with Niko that maybe he had just lost them himself, because why would someone run off with children’s heart-shaped sunglasses that were no use for anything, least of all for blocking the sun, as the lenses were glittery and tinted pink.)
“Oh, so he’s like Joonas,” Olli rolled his eyes. “I believe he’s sitting in that Starbucks on the other side of the street spying on us, in case you decide to brutally murder me in broad daylight.”
“I guess that just means they love us?” Aleksi shrugged amusedly. 
“I suppose so, but why they gotta be so weird about it?” Olli laughed and shook his head. His sunkissed curls swayed on his forehead, and Aleksi felt the same urge to sweep them off with his fingers (or with his lips maybe) that he had often felt when they had been laughing together at something silly via Skype. Olli probably noticed his dreamy expression, as he was soon to smile at the floor below their feet, an attractive blush spreading to his cheeks which looked even more velvety in real life.
It seemed they had winded up in the middle of the worst rush hour at the coffee shop, for it took them several minutes to reach the edge of the counter. When they finally did, Olli turned his back to Aleksi to get a tray from under it, revealing the illustration on the back of his shirt. Aleksi remembered having seen that exact t-shirt on Olli before, with the small text on the left side of his chest, so he was taken by surprise staring at the print of a mountain and a rainbow peeking from behind it.
“So, umm, do you come here often?” Aleksi asked, thinking it would be a less awkward conversation starter than “nice shirt”, which would’ve only revealed Aleksi had been checking out his backside (which was quite nice, there was no denying that), but then he realised how tacky the opening line he had gone for must have sounded; he had heard Niko hitting on unsuspecting guys and girls at the bar with that exact question every Friday night.
For that reason, Aleksi sighed in relief when Olli turned back to look at him with a small smile, neither embarrassed nor bothered by his corny (but accidental) pick-up line.
“Every now and then. Their muddler cake is heavenly,” Olli replied, then added in a lower voice: “although it is quite pricey.”
“Their what cake?”
“Muddler cake!” Olli beamed. “It’s like mud cake, but, you know…. Muddler,” Olli then pointed at the stack of Moomin mugs in front of them, his index finger directing Aleksi’s gaze to a purplish mug with a character wearing a saucepan for a hat.
“That’s a… muddler?”
“Yeah.” Olli’s grin was even wider when he picked the mug up and set it down on the tray. “And that’s his sweetheart, Fuzzy.” Olli showed Aleksi a pink mug with a character in a wedding gown decorating its side.
“Should I get that one then?” Aleksi smirked, hoping the flirt (this time intentional) would not go unnoticed by the other man.
“Actually I have something else in mind for you, hold on…”
Aleksi watched as Olli eyed the collection of mugs in different colours until his finger stopped at another one of purple colour. Aleksi couldn’t pride himself on knowing a whole lot about Moomins, but even he could identify the character on this one as Hemulen, the philatelist friend of the Moomin family.
“Hemulen? Care to tell me why?” Aleksi inquired, squinting his eyes at Olli, whose smile went from ear to ear by then.
“Well, you know, ‘cause he’s… bald. Like you.” The restrained laughter was obvious in Olli’s voice.
“You’re comparing my appearance to that of a hemulen?! I could so easily be offended, you know. I thought we had moved on from the bald jokes by now.” Aleksi sniffed dramatically, although he could no longer force back his own smile. He had gotten used to his friends ridiculing his new haircut weeks ago already.
“I’m sorry, you’re right. To be fair, you look nothing alike: at least Hemulen has some hair on his head.”
“You better be paying for those overpriced muddler cakes,” Aleksi muttered, pretending to appear insulted but failing horribly, judging by Olli’s heartfelt giggles. 
“Oh, that goes without saying. You can actually go and find us a table, I’ll order and pay.”
Aleksi left Olli at the counter and hurried to claim the window table for two that had just become vacant. He gently removed the Moominpappa plushie that was sitting on the other seat and put it on the windowsill. While Olli was making their order of muddler cake and possibly some other Moomin-themed treats, Aleksi stared out the window to watch the people passing by, although he hardly registered anything he was seeing.
He had been too nervous to confess his feelings to Olli via web camera, too afraid of rejection, too anxious when thinking about the possibility of Olli laughing it off instead of returning his feelings. Many times he had broken his own heart by imagining how Olli would’ve been outraged by Aleksi claiming to have a crush on him when they had never hung out in person, or how Aleksi would make it awkward by having assumed Olli was into guys when they had never really had that talk. It wasn’t long ago since Aleksi had come out of the closet to his family and closest friends, so he was still a little cautious about who he confided in and was yet to figure out how to bring it up in a casual conversation without being too blunt or clumsy about it, but he had tried dropping subtle hints along the way. While he wasn’t sure of Olli’s orientation yet, he couldn’t help but hope that the lingering looks and the rainbow on his shirt meant something.
Before Aleksi could allow his mind to wander too far from his current reality, Olli appeared opposite him with a soft oof as he set the tray on the table between them. On two plates there were pieces of the alleged muddler cake, and on a third there was a large cinnamon roll for them to share, Aleksi assumed. The Moomin mugs Olli had chosen for them were now filled, with Moomin characters drawn on the creamy topping. Aleksi noticed one of them had a small heart next to Moomintroll’s head, a detail the beverage Olli claimed for himself was missing.
He mentally added it to the list of Possible Signs He Likes Me Too (But Let’s Not Get Our Hopes Up). 
“Mmmmh,” Olli hummed when he sipped his coffee. The cream left a small white line above Olli’s upper lip, on the tufts of facial hair he was sporting there. The sight was too adorable for Aleksi to say anything about it.
“It’s so nice to finally hang out,” he said instead.
“It really is,” Olli agreed. “And to think we live so close to each other, what took us so long?” he chuckled into his cup, making the cream on top of it waver.
“I know, right?” Aleksi chuckled back, albeit knowing exactly why, at least on his part: he had been scared of appearing too eager or too creepy or too anything to suggest they meet face-to-face, until Olli himself had brought it up the other day.
He had to take a sip from his own mug to gain more courage for what he was about to say next.
“You know, I… I’ve been looking forward to this ever since we made the plans. I really enjoy your company.”
Olli stopped forking his chocolate cake to look into Aleksi’s eyes, his features so soft and endearing Aleksi wanted to lean over the table and snog him silly already.
“Me too,” Olli replied, and suddenly it wasn’t only the coffee warming up Aleksi’s insides. “In fact, I…” Olli laughed shortly and turned to admire the pastry on his plate again, “I’ve been so excited I’ve hardly slept lately.”
“Oh,” Aleksi said, because oh. “I mean, you too?”
“Yeah,” Olli laughed bashfully, and there was clearly something extremely interesting in his muddler cake, as his gaze was nailed to the plate. “I can only hope my poor neighbour downstairs hasn’t made a complaint about me for stomping around in the middle of the night.”
The image of Olli pacing back and forth his living room with an expression not unlike the one Aleksi had seen on his face outside the café, just because he was too thrilled about their date-that-was-not-a-date, made Aleksi fall for the man even harder, for reasons he couldn’t quite explain. As far as Aleksi knew, no one had ever felt that way about seeing him before, or at least no one had ever confessed it to his face.
“Well. Now we’re here,” Aleksi smiled at the man, almost crossing his fingers under the table in a prayer for Olli to look up at him again and make him feel those sweet little butterflies in his stomach once more.
His wish was granted when Olli did exactly that, his smile cuter than ever, if that was even possible.
“Yes. Here we are.”
After the sort-of confessions and the slight awkwardness was over and done with, their still-not-a-date-but-kinda-starting-to-look-like-one advance more relaxedly as they moved on to talk about the topics they usually discussed, from music to sci-fi movies to their favourite show wrestlers, until both their mugs were empty and there was nothing but crumbs left on their plates. They had spent over an hour just chattering away, but then Olli glanced at his watch and the approach of their inevitable parting began to hollow out Aleksi’s chest.
“I’m sorry, I’ve kept you to myself for too long, you must have other things to do today,” Aleksi said, although he would’ve done anything to keep Olli to himself just a little longer.
“I don’t, actually. Nothing but a pile of laundry waiting for me at home,” Olli answered as they stood up. The black bucket hat Olli put back on his curly head had seemed a little silly to Aleksi at first, but now he wished he wouldn’t have to let it out of his sight. “What about you? Any plans for the evening?”
“No, not really. But I should be going back home soon, or else Rilla will sulk at me for the rest of the day.”
Olli’s eyes brightened at the mention of the dog. “Oh, Rilla! I wish I could meet her too one day, I always love it when you show her on Skype.”
A wild thought popped up in Aleksi’s head; a silly, unimaginable, and completely absurd thought, but he decided to give it a try anyway.
(Niko wouldn’t have to know.)
“Why don’t you come and meet her now? My place is only a short bus drive away. That is, if you think your pile of laundry can wait a little longer still.”
The Groke hat did an excellent job at shading half of Olli’s face when they stepped outside in the sun, but Aleksi could still make out the smile sneaking on Olli’s lips, slowly but surely.
“I suppose the dirty socks won’t miss me too much.”
~
Niko would be disappointed if he knew, Aleksi thought to himself almost the first thing he opened his eyes the next morning.
Almost, because his first thought had been how cute Olli’s little snores sounded next to him.
His second thought had been how soft Olli’s hair looked, dishevelled and covering his eyes, before Aleksi had reached his hand to sink his fingers in it to discover it was exactly as soft as it looked.
And his third thought had been how enticing Olli’s lips were, how heavenly they had felt against his own the night before, how he couldn’t wait until Olli woke up so he could get a taste of them again.
Then, maybe as his fourth thought of the day, he could spare one for his poor friend, who only wanted the best for him. However, considering Olli was yet to show his homicidal tendencies by stabbing him with a kitchen knife, ransacking his entire house and kidnapping Rilla, Aleksi allowed himself to bask in the knowledge that Niko had been wrong, for once in his life.
They had entered the house with Rilla barking at Olli and Olli awwing at Rilla, until they had come to a mutual agreement of liking each other a lot, or so Aleksi gathered by the way they had later that evening snuggled on Aleksi’s sofa, almost making him feel like the third wheel. Aleksi had cooked them pasta for dinner and they had walked Rilla at sunset, admiring the colour of the horizon and finally holding hands when they had turned back home at the end of Aleksi’s street. Glasses of red wine had been poured and long, yearning looks had been exchanged as they had sat around Aleksi’s kitchen table until the wee hours, talking and laughing and simply enjoying each other’s company, after months of wanting to do nothing but that, but somehow both of them being too afraid to make the first move, as Aleksi had figured by then. 
Olli had already been on his way to the front door, out of Aleksi’s desperate reach, but something had stopped him, had made him stay, made him linger in Aleksi’s touch when they had hugged one last time. 
Aleksi’s breath had caught up in his throat and all his thoughts had fallen out of his useless head when Olli had glanced at his lips once, twice, perhaps a third time if Aleksi had given him the chance before bringing his own to Olli’s; he could no longer stand just imagining what kissing Olli would be like.
Now he knew; soft and delicate at first, almost hesitant, until Olli would wrap his arms firmly around Aleksi’s body and devour him, push himself even closer to Aleksi, despite the fact they were already pressed tightly together, skin on skin, mouth to mouth, heart to heart.
The bed had creaked when they had fallen on it, but soon after the room had been filled with entirely different kinds of sounds. If Aleksi wasn’t still flying high on the euphoria he had felt then, he might have been embarrassed about how needy he must have sounded. Instead, he was comforted by finally being sure Olli shared his sentiments, needed him close just as much as he needed Olli. Aleksi almost laughed out loud when he thought back to all that pining and wondering he had gone through over the past months, blind to the fact it had all been mutual; that Olli had felt exactly the same all along. 
Now, with the dawn already greeting them behind the curtains of Aleksi’s bedroom, Aleksi smiled as his unexpected (but oh so desired) overnight guest shifted beside him, nuzzling his cheek against the pillow. 
“Are you awake yet?” Aleksi asked him.
“Mmmmmmmhhhh,” Olli groaned in a way that sure awoke certain places of Aleksi’s body. “Maybe.” Olli’s speech was muffled by the pillow.
“Well, I suppose you’ll let me know when you’re awake enough to continue where we left off last night. I’m kinda missing those lips of yours, you know.”
Said lips then curved into a lazy grin (and almost burst Aleksi’s heart with bliss when doing so).
“C’mere then,” the lips mumbled, and Aleksi didn’t need to be told twice.
His plan of spending the morning in bed uninterrupted was threatened, however, when he heard a quiet ping from his bedside table.
Accompanied by loud objections from Olli below him, Aleksi reached for his phone to find a notification from a new WhatsApp message from Niko.
How did the Tinder date go? Please answer or I’ll assume you’re lying dead in a dumpster.
Aleksi giggled while writing his reply, with Olli peppering his chest with small kisses.
It was… Moominous 😏
Then Aleksi put his phone on silent, leaving Niko to wonder what ever he meant by that, and turned his attention back to something a little more urgent.
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[Meanwhile at the Starbucks across the street:]
The moment he stepped in the coffee shop and saw the man sitting by the window, Niko recognized him immediately; the bright blonde curls, the expressive blue eyes, and the plump red lips that were now pursed around a straw instead of Niko’s dick. The man was even wearing the same DIY style jean jacket he had thrown on the floor of Niko’s bedroom when they had made haste to undress each other on that steamy summer evening some weeks ago. The name scribbled on the plastic cup he was holding also matched the one imprinted on Niko’s memory.
On his forehead, half buried in the fluff of messy curls, Niko spotted a pair of heart-shaped sunglasses.
“You!” Niko gnarled at Joonas, who slowly moved his gaze from the window to Niko’s direction.
“Huh?”
“Thief!” Niko spat once he was standing next to Joonas’ table. It appeared seeing the man again after that night triggered something in him that resulted in only being able to form single-word sentences.
“Excuse me?” The way Joonas squinted his eyes told Niko his face didn’t ring a bell to him.
“Those are mine!” He pointed at the sunglasses resting on Joonas’ locks.
“Ummm, no they’re not? Also, who are you again?”
Niko clenched his fists; the audacity of this man, first for taking possession of his property, and secondly for not even remembering “the best cock he had ever had”.
“Those are my sunglasses that you stole from me after you… you know, after we…” Niko was hesitant to continue, nodding politely at the couple with two young kids in the next table following the scene with disapproval written on their faces.
“...After you ran away from wherever they were keeping you and you mistook me for someone else?” Joonas offered unhelpfully, a mix of confusion and amusement gleaming in his big, annoyingly alluring eyes.
Pure spite had Niko leaning in to whisper in Joonas’ ear.
“Don’t you dare pretend you don’t remember me when I milked you so good you probably couldn’t remember your own mother’s name for days afterwards.”
Niko closed his eyes and bit his lip when he felt Joonas’ hot breath in his ear, memories of their night together coming rushing back and going straight to his groin.
“Bold of you to assume that doesn’t happen to me every Saturday night.”
“You are unbelievable,” Niko growled back before standing up. “I’m afraid that makes little difference though. I’m here to collect back what’s mine, whether you plead guilty or not.” He straightened his hand towards Joonas as a request to be handed back his stolen possessions.
“Wait, are you actually being serious? You really think I’ve taken your sunglasses?”
“I know you’ve taken them!”
“I’ve never met you in my life, you madman!” Joonas insisted with creases on his forehead as he stood up and headed to the door. Niko followed him outside, not wanting to let those sunglasses out of his sight again.
“I don’t know what you were on that night to have been blessed with such a severe amnesia, but we have met before!”
“May I inquire where or when you think that happened?” Joonas’  lopsided grin was just as charming as the first time Niko had seen it. It made him furious.
“A couple of weeks ago. At that new LGBTQ club. After… after you DMed me on Grindr.”
“The Queer Room?” Joonas appeared to be racking his brain for a moment, then he shrugged. “Sorry, honey. I can’t say you’re the first guy with whom I’ve been palling around there.”
Joonas’s face looked genuinely apologetic, which made Niko wonder if he really was as clueless as he seemed, or whether he himself had imagined the whole encounter in his daydreams.
Still, it didn’t solve the mystery of his missing sunglasses, the sunglasses he was sure were the exact same ones the blond guy was now lowering on his nose.
“I guess you’re just gonna have to refresh my memory,” Joonas flashed that awful, sly, stunning smile of his again. 
“You wish.”
“Suit yourself,” Joonas shrugged again. “See you later, strange sunglass gu–”
Niko was livid at himself, for letting himself be bullied to take such desperate measures, but the deeper he stuck his tongue down Joonas’ luscious mouth, the more of it he wanted, had wanted since Joonas had sloppily kissed him goodbye before stumbling out of his bedroom.
They were both a little breathless when they broke the kiss. It took a while for Niko to realise Joonas was still holding Niko’s lower lip in between his teeth, until the man sucked on them one more time before letting Niko go. Niko’s own fists were still gripping the collar of Joonas’ jean jacket tightly.
“Wow. I can’t believe you actually gave in.”
…Wait.
“What?!”
“And I can’t believe you fell for that? Man, the Theatre Academy has no idea what they missed when they rejected me,” Joonas chuckled, wiping his mouth.
“You–” Niko let go of the man to inhale and exhale a few times before continuing, “you do remember me.”
Joonas tilted his head. “Oh, babes, I saw you bounce across the street before you walked in.” Then he lifted his hand to touch Niko’s chin. “I was instantly reminded of the night we shared.”
“Yet you have no memory of committing a theft?” Niko crossed his arms on his chest and lifted his chin to meet Joonas’ stare.
“That I genuinely don’t, because it never happened. Maybe this is just your subconscious telling you you miss me…”
“Oh, fuck off,” Niko snapped, trying to ignore Joonas’ hand sneaking on his hip. “The only thing I’m missing from that night are my fucking sunglasses!”
His outburst made Joonas sigh and roll his eyes. “Clearly you are not ready to consider the possibility we might own identical ones and that yours are just somewhere in your car or apartment.”
“Clearly you’re not ready to admit you mistook those as yours and just took them without asking!”
“Look,” Joonas moved his hand on Niko’s shoulder, “we could do this the whole day. Let’s just go to your apartment and–”
“So that you can steal more of my property?!”
“–AND I will help you find your stupid sunglasses! Since they’re so goddamn important to you.”
The thing was, they weren’t even particularly dear to Niko; in fact, they were more or less a kids’ toy, something he had bought as a joke when tipsy from margaritas, and pretty much useless if you needed something to shade your eyes from the sun. It was more about principle and dignity than anything else. (Tommi had not stopped giving him shit ever since Niko had told him about the incident.)
“And also to prove my innocence,” Joonas added, his lips pouting.
“Something tells me you haven’t been innocent since you came out of your mother’s–”
“You leave my mom out of this!” Joonas yelled at him from behind him when Niko began walking towards the bus stop. He made sure to wipe his smile off by the time Joonas caught him up.
~
“Where have you seen them last?” Joonas asked. They had been rummaging through Niko’s two-room for nearly ten minutes, and still the only pair of heart-shaped sunglasses they had seen were the ones sitting on Joonas’ head.
“On that chair in the hallway. Where you took them from.”
“Oh, just drop it already,” Joonas frowned. “You do realise I have things to do and places to be, yet I’m here helping you put your mind at ease about this puzzle, out of the pure kindness of my heart?”
The remark made Niko’s mouth snap shut. If (if!) Joonas was being truthful and knew nothing about Niko’s glasses, it truly was rather considerate of him to be there with Niko, turning his apartment upside down in search of the cursed piece of accessory, even if he also had his own reputation at stake.
“Well, they’re not under the sofa cushions either,” Joonas sighed and threw them back on the couch before slumping on them himself. “Is there a place we still haven’t looked?”
“I doubt they’re in the oven or in the bathroom sink cabin.”
“Oh, I’d check those too if I were you, just to be sure. You don’t wanna know where my friend Olli once found his phone after an unusually wet night out.”
Joonas’ anecdotes, as intriguing as they were, were of little help in their current task, so Niko decided he’s better off not knowing indeed.
“Did you check all your pockets yet? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve panicked, thinking my wallet’s been stolen when I had just forgotten it in the breast pocket of another jacket.”
“They’re not in my pockets.”
“Did you check though?”
Niko groaned at Joonas’ persistent eyebrow raise, but turned on his heels nevertheless. Once in the doorway, he started groping the jackets and shirts hanging from the coat rack.
“They’re not in my pockets, because I never put them in my–”
His hand touched something hard inside his grey hoodie, making him freeze.
Because he never did put his sunglasses in his pocket, not since his new Ray Bans had dropped on the pavement and broken into pieces. However, there they were, as if by some miracle, even though Niko could’ve sworn over his 00s nü metal CD collection that he had not put them there.
Or… maybe he had? His brain was too confused to make any sense of the situation.
“Oh, hey, you found them!” Joonas rejoiced as he joined Niko in the dim hallway. “Well, looks like you owe me an apology.”
The smile on Joonas’ lips was sweet as ever, and Niko couldn’t wait to wipe it off.
“Oh, I‘ll show you an apology,” he murmured and began pushing Joonas towards the bedroom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author’s notes:
Aaaaahh it’s been a while since I last wrote an “after-credits” scene 🥰
I wanted to include Aleksi’s Moomin sheets somehow but I couldn’t think of a convenient way to do that (i.e. I didn’t want to make the fic any longer than it already was), so you’re just gonna have to do the job yourself and imagine they woke up in Aleksi’s Moomin sheets 💕
Muddler / Fuzzy / Hemulen (the new Hemulen one looks so nice 😍)
Moomin coffee art
The Moomin Café referenced here is partly a product of my imagination. The only Moomin café in Finland at the moment is at the Helsinki-Vantaa international airport. There used to be one in Helsinki but it was closed during the covid lockdown and from what I've heard/seen, they did have Moomin mugs (duh!), gigantic cinnamon rolls, and Moomin plushies that you could position on the chairs to keep you company (I never had the chance to go there 😔). I assume the Moominworld theme park in Naantali also has some kinda Moomin café (I’ve never been there either :\)
Muddler cake -> not a thing, I completely made that one up 😂 It’s ridiculous, I know, but I just couldn’t help myself with the word play!
...Sooooo, did the incident with the heart-shaped sunglasses go as told here, or did Joonas actually take Niko’s by accident, not realising this until he was at home, and then proceeded to keep them with him at all times in case he’d run into Niko again (let’s assume they hadn’t exchanged numbers and Niko had been so outraged about his stolen sunglasses that he had deleted Grindr) and then just put them in Niko’s pocket when Niko wasn’t looking, because why should he just admit he had taken them, especially with Niko storming in the Starbucks accusing him of theft, when he could play with Niko a little instead? Who knows 😏)
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TLDR: Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which fills up first.
Do we REALLY think Trump is gonna go to jail for this? I mean, nothing has ever stuck to him before, but this is so cartoonishly blatant it boggles my mind. He literally stole nuclear secrets, like a fucking James Bond villain. That's the generic crime writers come up with when they can't think of anything better and don't want to give their villains real ideologies. "The bad guys steal secrets to sell to terrorists for money; they just hate America for no reason and think being evil is fun." What next, is he gonna tie damsels to the railroad tracks? Is he gonna steal the key to the city? Put cats in trees? Take candy from babies? Rip tags off mattresses? Jaywalk? Litter?
How did we get to a point in history where a former president of the United States can STEAL NUCLEAR SECRETS and the general consensus is "tsk tsk tsk, he shouldn't've done that" instead of "holy fucking shit, he's a traitor." You don't just hold onto nuclear secrets for shits and giggles. You don't just thumb through them every now and then like they're your old high school yearbook so you can reminisce on how things used to be. You take them so you can show them to someone you're not supposed to show them to. Chances are he's never bothered to read them himself because he has the attention span of a toddler, and the government probably doesn't use large print with lots of pictures to archive their nuclear secrets. He took them because they were valuable, he thought he could get away with it, he got caught red-handed, and now everyone is downplaying it like he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Wagging their finger at him, "Gotcha! You're in real trouble this time, young man!"
Snowden and Assange and Manning faced greater consequences for lesser crimes than this.
I honestly believe this is the new normal. He'll be fined in civil court, and then declare bankruptcy so he doesn't have to pay it, and then raise billions of dollars in donations for his 2024 campaign by claiming to have gone face to face against the deep state and won.
He won't be out of out hair until he's worm food sometime in the 2030s or 40s, and by that time the GOP will have moved onto someone even worse than him. My parents honestly believed George W. Bush was gonna go down as the worst president in their lifetimes, and were proven wrong in less than a decade. Do we think Trump represents rock bottom? He's the canary in the coalmine that Republicans use to gauge what they can and can't get away with, and they've realized they can get away with a whole hell of a lot, and their voters would roll out the red carpet and hail them as conquering heroes.
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Jaywalkers-core!!
Thanks for tagging me @lightningbee! Here are my first nine pictures:
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@morcantinon @the-queen-of-spite @l-apelle-du-vide put your url into pinterest and share what you got! x
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