#jesper i am BEGGING you to dress him

[dvnities]

🔫 kaz u cannot dress boring at formal events u are a barrel BOSS not a barrel flop . put on jewellery at LEAST

❛   i will wear rings but only for the purpose that it will hit my enemies harder when i punch them should any of them decide to attack.   ❜   he was a barrel boss because he didn't let his guard down or waste his time with stupid things such as fashion.   clothing had only a few uses  :   warmth, protection, and allowing you to blend in.

#he's mmmm #🤪 crazy #HAHAHAH #. * ✧ ❤ — interactions + kaz #pistolslinger. #jesper i am BEGGING you to dress him #also he's such a dirty little liar he likes to think he has great fashion sense <3 #he dresses in all black for a reason and that reason is that he thinks it looks good <3

[amsgrey]

request for a kaz brekker x reader one bed trope! literally some of my favorite fics to read ever!!! def with some angst maybe reader gets injured on the heist and kaz has to help. reader insists that they should sleep in the same bed and they end up confessing feelings or something. SO GOOD

Thank you for the request! Sorry it took so long but hey, it's alright.

Warnings: Violence, Blood, typical canon violence, kind of OOC!Kaz, semi-bad writing.

“Hey,” Nina didn’t bother knocking as she stepped into your room, “There’s someone here to see you.” 

You looked up from your small desk, “Who?” 

Nina shrugged, “Wouldn’t say, but she won't leave until she speaks with you.” 

You frowned, getting to your feet and following after Nina. A million possibilities ran through your mind as you descended the stairs, you didn’t know many people from Ketterdam, or you didn’t know anyone that Kaz also didn’t know. WHo had come to speak to you was a complete mystery to you and judging by the way the Crows were gathered at the bottom of the stairs, it was a mystery to them too. 

“Who is she?” Jesper broke the heavy silence first.

You rolled your eyes, “How am i supposed to know, Jes?” 

Walking past him and the others you looked for the woman. There were a few dregs hanging around in the slat, like always. Hiding from the damp Ketterdam air or filling in their afternoons with ale and gambling. It meant the woman stuck out like a sore thumb. When you finally saw her, your blood ran cold. 

“Oh, my,” The woman stepped forward, she grabbed your hands and smiled at you, “Look how grown up you are, my dear.” 

She pulled you into a hug, an awkward show of affection that she had never done before. 

“Mother.” 

She hadn’t changed in the 7 or so years since you saw her last, a few graying hairs and wrinkles around her eyes were the only evidence time had passed. She still wore the same turquoise dress, the fabric stained and dirty where it spent too many years dragging on the dirt. She had tied a knitted shawl around her shoulders, to stave off the cold of the barrel and to make herself look more presentable. When you were a child on the farm with your parents, your mother would refuse to do any of the hard labor or household duties, always dressed in her ‘fine’ clothes and sitting by a window like the queen of Ravka. 

You hated her for it then, the way she forced you to conduct her duties. The hard labor with your father on the farm, the chores inside the home, raising your three younger siblings. Looking at the woman before you now, you hated her just as much. 

“What do you want, mother?” You forced out through gritted teeth. 

The woman batted your hand she still held, a sharp smack to chide you for your tone, “Is that how you speak to the woman who raised you?” 

She didn’t raise you though. Your father was the one who taught you everything you knew, cared and loved you. The marriage of your parents had been of convenience, a rich farmer up the road had fallen on hard times so he married off his only daughter to your father. Something neither of them wanted. 

When your father had died suddenly in a farming accident, your mother had sold you to slavers, without a second thought. You had spent years in Ketterdam trying to bury the memories of your younger brothers screaming for you to stay, the chains that chaffed and burnt your skin and the cruel men who didn’t care about anything but making coins. 

Standing with your mother before you, her soft hands gripping you so tightly, you felt like a young girl all over again. Begging for affection from a woman who hated your existence, cursed to always be nothing to her. You could still remember the beatings and the screaming, the bruises that you tried to hide and the permanent split in your lip which took years to properly heal. 

Kaz was watching the whole encounter, quiet and calculating like he always was. The other crows were growing concerned, there was an air of uncertainty that settled over them all. 

“What can we help you with?” Kaz finally spoke, he stepped closer to you, towering over your mother. Having him at your side brought you ease, a feeling of calm that always came over you when he was near. Kaz was prepared for anything, he always looked out for you and the crows. 

“And you are?” Your mother snapped, glaring at Kaz. 

Kaz didn’t seem bothered, “Are you here for something? Or to terrorize your daughter?” 

You glanced back at Kaz, he had a look of pure rage in his eyes. You hadn’t told Kaz the details of your past, but he knew your mother sold you to slavers. You realized suddenly you didn’t want to be in the middle of Kaz and your mother fighting. 

You grabbed your mothers arm, dragging her away from the gathered Crows and Kaz’s glower and pulling her outside. In the Ketterdam air things were immediately colder, you hadn’t grabbed your coat so you could feel it even more. 

“What are you doing here?” You demanded. 

“Can I not come see my daughter?” 

“You never cared before, I didn’t even know you knew this is where I lived. You sold me to slavers,” You cried, stepping away as you started to get upset. “What in Sankta Alina could you want?” 

“I am married,” Your mother boasted, “He lives in the Zelver district, we want you to come have dinner.” 

You were reeling, so much information was thrown at you all at once. You gapped to answer. 

“Your brothers will be there too,” Your mother waved her hand like she was dismissing your concerns, “They stayed on the farm.”

“Why- why do you want me there?” 

“To make amends, my love,” She took your hands again, “It is time we act like a family again. Perhaps you could bring that guard dog of yours, act civilized.” 

You wanted to say yes, straight away you wanted to say yes and trust that she had true intentions. But there was something nagging in your mind. 

“Who is it that you're married to, mother?”

“A Merchant, trades with the Ravkan crown, Alexei Berezin.” 

You recognized the name immediately, he had one of the largest mansions in the Zelver district, rivaled only by foreign dignitaries. He had brought in a large shipment of Ravkan gold and silk, Kaz had stolen half of it almost immediately, because Berezin had thought himself untouchable. 

“When's dinner?” You forced out, trying not to let your knowledge of the man show. 

“Tomorrow, be there by seven.” 

She wandered away, slipping into the crowd of foot traffic and joining the mess of colours. 

-- 

“Alexei Berezin.”

You forced a smile, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” 

The man looked over you and Kaz like you were nothing, he grunted in greeting and disappeared towards the drinks cart. 

You looked at Kaz, “Too late to leave?” 

Kaz smiled, it made him look softer somehow, “We don’t have to stay long, let's hope Inej and Wylan are quick.” 

A servant greeted you as you walked further into the drawing room, she offered you and Kaz wine in crystal glasses. You had played being rich at banquets and galas before, it was easy to hide in a crowd of rich people to steal from them, but here holding the crystal glass made you feel so exposed. The only thing that was stopping you from running out the door was Kaz by your side. He always looked out for you, tonight would be no different. 

Your mother had lied, your brothers were not at the dinner. She had spun some more lies about how they hadn't been able to make the journey but you wondered if they were even invited in the first place. You, Kaz, your mother and her new husband all sat at the ridiculously long table, eating silently except for a few forced comments. 

“So,” Berezin belched, downing his fourth glass of brandy, “Mr Brekker, how is business?”

Kaz looked at you from across the table, “As good as yours, Berezin.” 

Berezin snared, “So then you admit to taking my shipment?” 

“A shipment?” Kaz leant back, starting to enjoy the game. 

Berezin started getting red in the face, rage barely contained in his eyes, “You know exactly what I’m talking about, Dirty Hands.” 

A smile ghosted across Kaz’s face, “Is this why you extended the invite, Berezin? Hoping to get your silks back?” 

You jumped when Berezin slammed his fist on the table, he stood abruptly, his chair falling backwards loudly, “You listen to me here boy! You will pay me back what I am owed or I will make your life a living hell!” 

“A living hell?” 

“You have no idea who you are messing with, you and your little whore will pay-” 

Kaz was on his feet faster than you had time to process, “Watch your mouth, Berezin, or silks won't be the only thing you lose.” 

Berezin started shouting in rage, his words mostly coming out as jumbled insults and threats which didn’t mean anything for you and Kaz. 

“We’re leaving,” You said to your mother, not bothering to bid her a proper goodbye as you joined Kaz’s side and retrieved your coats. 

You were both halfway through the foyer when things took a turn. 

Somewhere in the garden outside a fire roared to life, a green chemical fire that was Wylan's emergency beacon. Kaz urged you to walk faster, his cane striking loudly against the marble floor as you both tried to leave before Berezin caught on. 

“Thief!” 

Kaz grabbed your hand, and both of you ran the rest of the way out of the house and down the garden path. Berezin was screaming from inside the house, shouting orders to his few guards and screaming for someone to alert the Stadwatch. You and Kaz didn’t stop running until you reached the canal, skittering to a stop and dropping into the waiting boat. Matthias and Wylan were already there, Wylan was heaving like he had just finished a mad dash too. 

“Did you get it?” Kaz demanded as Matthias started to row the boat towards 4th Harbor. 

Wylan was nodding, “Handed it off to Inej, she and Jesper are heading to the warehouse now.”

You had to give it to Kaz, when he had explained the plan this morning after all-night scheming, you didn’t think you would be able to pull it off. But yet again, he proved he knew everyone's skills. 

The plan was somewhat simple, you and Kaz would entertain Berezin while Wylan posed as a servant and slipped into Berezin's office. Wylan would swipe the key to Berezins safe which sat in his warehouse; it was old and Ravkan, protected by small science. You didn’t have enough time on the first job to try and crack it, so now was the perfect time. The original plan was for you and Kaz to stay all through dinner and whatever other pleasantries were to be had, while Wylan snuck through undetected. His Green fire beacon was a sign he had been caught, so you and Kaz hightailed out before things got too nasty. 

 Inej and Jesper were on their way to the safe now, while you, Kaz, Matthias and Wylan drew attention in the opposite direction. Headed towards 4th Harbor meant the four of you could lead the following guards and Stadwatch into the twisting streets and narrow wharves and hopefully escape into the crowd. 

As Matthias moored the boat to the side of the canal, you and Wylan climbed out and surveyed where you were. 

“Are you alright?” You asked him, still aware of how his hands shook. 

Wylan nodded, but you were unconvinced. 

Matthias and Kaz climbed out of the boat after you, the four of you standing at the canal edge for a moment while you tried to compose yourselves. 

“Hey! Stop right there!” 

“Bastards,” Kaz swore, already ushering the three of you to run before they started to shoot. 

“Kaz, they're after us, not Wylan and Matthias…” You shouted as you ran down the street alongside the canal, headed towards the Council of the Tides Watchtower. 

Kaz ordered everyone to stop, “Y/N’s right, Wylan, Matthias, head back towards the slat, take the long way and check for tails, we’ll go the opposite way.” 

Matthias started to argue, “No, we should-” 

You all ducked as gunfire echoed through the streets. Bullets ricochet off the cobbles at your feet, dangerously close to hitting one of you. 

“Go!” Kaz yelled over the noise, blindly reaching for your hand and pulling you along with him as you headed away from Matthias and Wylan and towards the government district. 

You were right, the three or four guards from Berezin's estate followed you, not your friends as you rushed through the dark streets. At this time of the night, the Crow Club and the surrounding area would be buzzing with life, but in this part of town, everyone was shut inside asleep. There weren’t many lights, aside from a few lanterns left on in people's doorways, so as you and Kaz ran you stuck to shadows and unlit alleyways, hoping to lose your stalkers in the maze of buildings. 

Kaz pulled you to a stop after running for ten minutes and started to take a toll on him and his leg. The two of you ducked into an alley, Kaz leaned heavily against the wall and his cane, heaving as he regained his breath. You glanced over him, worried that he wouldn’t be able to continue for much longer. 

“Maybe we lost them,” You whispered, peaking around the corner to the main street, which was completely deserted aside from a rogue tabby. 

Kaz nodded, unable to speak a reply. You kept glancing from the main street to the end of the alley, which appeared as if it curved around and kept going. You had no idea if it was a dead end or not, but staying here was making you anxious, it was still too exposed. 

“I Have a safe house not far from here,” Kaz said, pushing off from the wall and leaning on his cane. 

“A safe house?” You replied, “In the government district?”

Kaz rolled his eyes, “You underestimate me.” 

If he hadn’t been hurt you would have pushed him away, chuckling at his comment. Instead, you opted for offering him your arm so you could walk out of the alley together, hopefully, Stadwatch who patrolled the area would think you were a couple returning home. 

The two of you walked arm and arm down a few streets, smiling pleasantly at the passing Stadwatch or the rare delegate returning to their boarding. After a few turns Kaz said you weren’t far from the safe house, which was an old apartment above a tailor.

“How did you even get an apartment above a tailor?” You teased, “Hiding a side business?”

The sound of a gun cocking stopped you both in your tracks. 

“You even twitched, I put a bullet in the girl.” 

The barrel of the gun was jammed into your back, the voice behind you ordering you both to turn with your hands up. 

The two men before you were guards for Berezin, you could tell from the crest that was pinned to their jackets. You looked around for the other two men, but they weren’t around. Hopefully, they were far away, you weren't sure if you could win a 2-1 battle tonight.

You moved to pull your flint from your pocket, you had stowed it away safely the first time you and Kaz had run for your lives tonight, now you wished you stayed holding it. Your hand slipped into the pocket of your coat, your fingertips brushed the cool material, pulling into your fist and preparing yourself to summon. You only had one chance at this. The sound of the gun firing struck you first, the deafening crack that bounced from the walls. The searing pain in your right side forced your fist open in shock, your flint clattering to the cobbles as your other hand came to cradle your side. Immediately your blood started seeping through your fingers, soaking through your coat and dripping onto the street below. You looked up at the man who shot you, just in time to see Kaz bring his cane cracking into the side of the man's face. It sent him sprawling, the force of the blow knocking him off balance. You used your opportunity to kick the second man in the shin, stunning him for long enough for Kaz to incapacitate him too. 

Kaz wound his arm around your waist, pulling you away from the two men as they groaned on the ground and dragging you up the street. 

“Just hold on a little longer,” He spoke as he led you down another side alley, “We’re almost there.”

He forced you to stop before an old door as he fiddled with the lock. The dark green paint was peeling, revealing the chipped and water-stained wood. Kaz flickered with the lock for a few seconds and the door swung open, revealing a steep staircase into the safe house. 

“You’re kidding,” You groaned, letting Kaz shuffle you into the small space as he shut and locked the door. 

“Go on then,” Kaz smirked, pushing you up the stairs. 

The two of you climbed up the stairs, silent as you struggled together. When you reached the top, Kaz opened the final door and you both tumbled through over the threshold. The safe house was less of a house and more of a safe room. Filled with crates and shadows of objects you couldn’t make out, it felt much more cramped than your room in the Slat. Kaz pulled out his bone light, casting the room in the pale green light. With the new light, you could see the space clearer. A sink in the far corner close to the only window, and a bed pushed as far from the window as possible. You stumbled over to the sink, holding yourself up on the basin as you tried to get a look in the small mirror at your wound. 

“Let me help,” Kaz ordered, pulling out a crate from the wall and forcing you to sit down. 

Kaz looked over your side, letting you know the bullet had gone straight through, but would need some stitches and to be cleaned. There was a pause where you both realized you would have to remove your coat and top so Kaz could see better. With shaky hands, you slowly unbuttoned your coat. Kaz helped you guide it off your shoulders, letting it fall out of the way. 

“You’ll have to unzip my dress,” You whispered to Kaz, hands going back to your throbbing side. 

Kaz cleared his throat, nodding and stepping around you to follow your instructions. You could feel the smooth leather of his gloves ghost over the skin on your neck as he fiddled for the zip. He couldn’t get a good grip, abandoning one of his gloves on the floor so he could hold the small tab properly. Kaz’s fingers were freezing, When he touched the skin on your back the chill seeped under your skin and into your bones. You focused all your energy on not shivering against the feeling. He gently folded the dress down, letting it fall around your hips so he could see the bullet wound clearer. It left you in your bra and skirt half of your dress, yet you didn't feel exposed. Kaz was nothing if not respectful to you and you truly felt nothing but trust for him now.

 There were no words between you as Kaz stepped to your side and crouched down. You could see him out of the corner of your eye, but he was focused solely on your wound, his brow scrunched up in a frown. 

The two of you stayed silent as Kaz worked. You handed him what he asked for, a wet rag, sutures and a needle, a bandage. When he had finally tied off the last stitch, he started to bandage your waist. By now he had abandoned his other glove to the floor too, both of them covered in your blood and useless to him. He focused on the warmth of your skin as he wrapped the bandage around your waist, making sure to wrap it a few times to ensure it was secure. When he was finished, he noticed how quiet you had gotten, staring down at the floor with slightly glazed eyes. 

“Are you alright?” Kaz’s voice came out more of a croak, just above a whisper. It pulled you from your dissociation, pulling you into the moment. You turned to look at him, The bastard of the Barrel kneeling by your side, hands stained with your blood and the most caring, almost loving look in his eyes. 

You must have lost more blood than you thought, Kaz did not love you. 

“I’m fine.” 

Kaz nodded once, shakingly pushing himself off the ground and turning on the water to wash clean his hands. You didn’t move from the crate, mostly because you were unsure of what to do and also because there wasn’t exactly space to move in the room anyway. 

“You should sleep.” Kaz said, refusing to look up at you from the sink. 

“We both should. You can take the bed.” 

Kaz shook his head, “No. You're injured, you take it.” 

You rolled your eyes, “Did you sleep last night Kaz?” 

There was a heavy silence. 

“So you need to sleep now. There's plenty of room for both of us anyway.” 

You knew as soon as you said it the atmosphere had changed. It was well known Kaz kept his distance when he wasn’t wearing gloves. You had rarely seen him without them no matter where he was. After the longest silence, Kaz finally nodded, letting out the quietest, “Okay.” 

He turned to you, “There should be a stash of clothes in one of these crates, I could find them?” 

You smiled, nodding. Sitting with the top of your dress folded down was starting to get cold and sleeping like this would only make things more awkward. 

Kaz riffled through a few crates, finding ammo and whiskey before finding the crate filled with shirts and trousers. He pulled one of each out, setting them on the bed and turning his back so that you could get changed with some semblance of modesty. It was amusing for you, that he had already seen enough but he was too kind to even risk a glance now. 

When you had gotten into the clothes, with a little struggle trying to lift your arm into the sleeve, you pulled back the quilt on the bed. Kaz helped, letting you shuffle across the bed to where it pressed to the wall. The bed was so much bigger than your one, more likely double the size. Your bed hardly fits you in it, slightly too short and skinny because of the awkward rooms of the Slat. This bed was different. Although not as soft as your own, the size meant you and Kaz both had enough room so that you weren’t too close. 

Kaz was about to lie the quilt down and get on top when you stopped him. 

“Are you mad?” 

“What?” He scoffed, confused as to why you were heckling him now.

“Kaz Brekker, you will get cold. Just get under the quilt and stop acting like we’re some teenagers who can’t get ahold of ourselves.” 

Kaz stared at you in shock, blinking down at you with pure perplexion in his eyes. 

“Jesper was right,” He sighed, getting situated under the quilt to please you. 

“Right about what?” You pressed, turning in the bed to fix him with a glare. 

“You are cranky when you're tired.” 

“Oh shut up,” You scoffed, rolling back to stare at the ceiling and now him. 

Kaz chuckled, by now the bone light was fading steadily, the pale green light becoming nothing more than a faint glow from the corner of the room. You couldn’t see Kaz’s face too well, barrel able to make out the faint outline of his features in the dark. 

For a while, the two of you lay in silence, the only noise coming from the far-off sound of waves in the harbor. With no one else on the streets, every time footsteps echoed around in the streets below, you held your breath. 

“They won’t find us,” Kaz whispered, feeling you tense next to him. 

You didn’t respond, trying not to panic yourself further. 

“Listen to me,” Kaz shifted, the bed shaking slightly under you both, “We’re safe here, I won’t let anything happen to you, not again.” 

“Wasn’t your fault,” You responded, mirroring Kaz’s movements to face him, “Jobs go wrong sometimes.” 

Kaz didn’t react, “Sleep. We’ll head back to the salt when the city wakes up.” 

You wouldn’t say it out loud, but Kaz being by your side to protect you filled you with a sense of ease. You could relax back into the pillow and trust that he was going to look after you, no matter what. As you slipped into sleep, you thought dreamily about how much you cared for the bastard of the barrel, even if he didn’t share the same feelings. 

Kaz was thinking the same as he watched over you. He sat up in the bed as soon as you had fallen asleep, staring at the door in the dark, prepared for anything that might come barreling through it. He cared too much about you to let you get hurt again, especially when he was the only one around to protect you. He would never say it out loud, like you, but he would do anything to protect you from harm in the city where no one mourned. 

#kaz brekker x you #ketterdam #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #kaz rietveld #nina zenik x reader #six of crows nina #six of crows x reader #six of crows wylan #six of crows jesper #shadow and bone #soc #sab #one bed trope

[mikasimaginairyworld]

The Crows: Art I want to see

If someone is a capable artist, I am begging you please do this!!!

Inej in the crow's nest on a starry night looking at the Ketterdam harbour, it's the middle of the night (clearly) and Kaz awaits in the distance for her arrival

Nina feeding sugar plums to Matthias and him grinning like a child

Wylan and Jesper at the theatre/ opera in fancy clothes: Wylan looks extremely chic and Jesper is just colourful

Wylan and Jesper raiding Nina's makeup stash and Nina catching them - Nina at the door furious, a shoe in her hand ready to throw it at them, Jesper and Wylan dying of laughter

Matthias and Nina taking a bubble bath together - Nina being overjoyed, Matthias looks slightly annoyed with bubbles on his head

Nina giving Kaz a haircut, her being extra careful not to touch him, Inej sitting in front of him in her pirate attire talking about her adventures of the sea

Kaz admiring (smiling) a miniature of The Wraith unaware that Inej has returned and is watching him from the window

a close up on Inej's face with all the possible Suli piercings and jewellery (I know Suli is inspired by Roma and I think also Indian people so a mix of these jewellery types is my absolute dream)

Nina trying to teach Jesper how to turn materials into other materials and getting frustrated when he only makes them into bullets

Matthias and Kaz standing on a bridge watching their girlfriends dance on the market square with street musicians - both try to keep a neutral expression but can't help but smile

Wylan designing Nina's wedding dress and her having very specific wishes for it

Matthias asking Zoya for Nina's hand because 'there are ways these things are supposed to be done' and Zoya actually laughs, Matthias being stunned and Zoya telling him that he can go and ask it Nina directly

Jesper fabricating his own engagement ring to propose to Wylan

Jesper and Wylan proposing at the same time

Inej having her hair braided by Kaz (by @phy-be here)

Matthias trying to make Nina jealous after a fight and failing miserably

Nina having her romcom moment (the one with the dress and the stairs) when going on a mission with Matthias

Jesper and Inej pulling pranks on Kaz

feel free to add: if you want me to add to this directly - dm me otherwise just reblog/ comment

#six of crows #crooked kingdom #art #please please please #i am begging #someone please do this #headcanon #jesper fahey #kanej #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #nina zenik #matthias helvar #wylan van eck #wesper #helnik

[confused-as-all-hell]

"i know we broke up, i know we don't talk anymore, but I still miss you"

@wesper-week i'm sincerely sorry for this chaos

Jesper Fahey's trade was humor.

His clothes were the colour of too much attention, his laugh limned in shimmering gold. He drew gazes and wistful stares like a lighthouse beacon called for drifting ships. The lines of his body were sharp, elegant, sprawling. When the corners of his mouth lifted in a grin, stars gleamed in his eyes.

He was so achingly beautiful, all tousled dark hair and broad shoulders and warm hands.

Girls and boys fell over themselves for one kiss, one little smile, one whispered word in their ear. How could they not?

Jesper was young and handsome and heady as a cup of evening wine, clever with his graceful fingers, wicked with his soft lips. His GPA was polished, his manners immaculate.

They hung on to his words, the cadence of them, the amused lilt that drenched every sentence.

Jesper had fallen in love with so many, men with rough laughs and kind smiles, women with curling hair and bright eyes. He had taken them over the world, to parks and monuments and cafes, kissed them in the shadow of history.

For every one of his lovers, he bought a ring.

Amethyst for the young lady who carried the scent of lavender.

Gold for the pretty girl whose lips tasted of joy.

Sapphire for the boy who kissed like a fucking god.

Ruby for the trickster woman who loved to laugh.

Copper for the handsome man who had a smile like late summer.

Jesper had cared for each of them in turn. He gifted flowers and jewelry and handwritten letters in his untidy scrawl. He had told them stupid jokes and held their hands and read to them in his unmade bed.

But one by one, they left him, and soon all that was left of their love were those glinting rings.

"Is there something wrong with me?" he whispered once, face shining with tears, head thrown back against the wall.

Nina rested her head against his chest, wrapping her arms around him awkwardly. "Of course not, darling."

He patted her cheek clumsily. "Then why does everyone keep leaving, Nina? Why does nobody stay?"

"Wylan—" she began, but shut her mouth instantly.

"Wylan is different."

And he was.

Beautiful, quiet, sweet Wylan Van Eck with his slender hands and paint-splattered face. He was everywhere, everywhere, everywhere, sketching the stars as they lay intertwined in bed, smiling over his cup of morning tea, dressed in his oversized shirts and plaid trousers.

His kisses were soft and tentative and tasted of tea leaves. His grins were slow and mischievous and bright as the damned sun. When he sprinted along the rim of a fountain, laughing and arms aloft, Jesper thought love might kill him.

He still dreamt about that day, Wylan leaping across the broad rim, his face upturned, sunlight brightening his hair to flame and gold. Wylan, paint smudged across his lower lip, hands stained with red acrylic. Wylan, pretty blue eyes bright with mirth, his panicked yelp as he nearly toppled sideways.

Wylan, Wylan, Wylan.

Sometimes, when Jesper was laying on the floor of someone else's bathroom, watching the ceiling spin and spin, he could still hear Wylan whispering, "And if I said I am yours, and there is no greater honor, what then Jesper?"

They had been so fucking happy, happier than Jesper deserved, all sticky orange juice kisses and skinny dipping in the ocean and opulent restaurants of ivory and gold.

And then Wylan had mentioned the gambling.

They had argued for days and weeks and then months, furious and bitter. Jesper used to live for the clink of coins and soft rush of the wheel and the elation that flooded into his eyes, ears, mouth, fingers. He loved the hum and chaos of the nightclubs, the frenzy of congratulations and drunken kisses and the retreat into those shadowed alcoves.

The scent of alcohol, the sounds of triumph, the press of hands on his body, the pleasure and ecstasy and joy.

But on their hundredth argument, tears were running down Wylan's face, distorting his freckles and widening those fucking blue eyes. He'd whispered he wouldn't stand for it, and Jesper had woken alone the next morning.

His bed was too empty, his kitchen was too quiet, the room where Wylan painted was too fucking much. All that remained was the hole in Jesper's heart and a sketch of the water fountain Wylan had drawn so lovingly, each detail of the scene preserved forever within charcoal. The ice cream parlor. The sunlight. Wylan, laughing and trying to keep his balance, eyes bright bright bright. Jesper, staring at Wylan as if he had never seen another quite so magical.

The memory of those eyes haunted him, every damn day.

He found himself writing essays on Wylan's long, copper lashes. His eyes, the blue of tranquil oceans, of the clear winter sky, of salvation. The glints of silver shining within, a quiet intelligence that so few had glimpsed. The way he would shyly glance away whenever Jesper grinned at him.

How many times had he stared into those eyes, while the two of them lay bare and exhausted among his own silk sheets?

How many times had he looked up after a kiss to find Wylan smiling back at him?

How many times had he nearly drowned within Wylan's gaze, steady and thoughtful and really fucking hot?

But slowly, agonizingly, bitterly, he grew used to the silence.

He stopped texting Wylan in the middle of the day, face damp with tears, hands shaking with misery.

He stopped accidently brewing a second cup of coffee at breakfast.

He stopped glancing to his left, searching for a glint of red hair in crowded spaces.

He stopped seeing Wylan when another was beneath him.

But sometimes Jesper wondered if anything could make him stop loving the boy with pretty blue eyes and a heart of gold.

And if sometimes he glimpsed Wylan in the halls, or at a nightclub, or sketching with those fucking charcoal pencils, he could wave. Smile. Pretend he wasn't going to take another home just to ease the day's pain.

'Why won't you go back to him?" Kaz asked once, barely glancing up from his phone.

"He doesn't want me," Jesper said quietly.

He raised his eyebrows as if in disbelief. "Jes, I have it on good authority that Wylan Van Eck hasn't dated a single soul after your breakup."

"Who told you that?"

"Nobody," Kaz said airily.

"Nina?"

"Nina."

Jesper attempted a loose smile, but it drifted aside easily as a gauzy veil twitching in the wind.

Wylan Van Eck, kind and brave and good.

Wylan, with his inquisitive eyes and thoughtful conversation.

Wylan, lonely and miserable because one stupid fucking boy had broken his heart.

He could barely stand it.

In some hidden chamber of his mind, he had locked away Wylan’s laughter, the tide of his amusement, inexplicably bright and wondrous. It felt like gazing at one of his softest paintings, a lush blend of ivory and blue and gold, like glimpsing something raw and beautiful and secret.

A burning star.

A miracle, spinning through the galaxy, leaving nothing but light in its wake.

A memory, and no more.

Wylan had once laughed so freely, snickering over an amusing quip, or stifling his smile when Jesper read to him late at night.

That sound of joy and delight. . . it was the brightest damn thing in the world.

And Jesper wanted to know that somewhere, in some other softly lit room with a man looking up at Wy like he was the sun, that laugh was sounding again.

He wanted to know that even if Wylan didn’t shine for him, he shone nevertheless.

The next morning dawned piercing and cold, a bright jewel in the crown of winter. Jesper chose his clothes with unusual care, knotting the laces of his boots twice, cleaning his dozens of rings before slipping them on.

Once he had hoped Wylan would give him the last of the collection—the wedding ring.

Now, as he finished with the last of them, he left his fourth finger bare, a final shrine to the ghosts of their past.

The cafe where he had asked, begged, pleaded for Wylan to meet him was nearly empty, but for a handful of people. His gaze lingered on a young woman with curling brown hair who might have been Nina in a hat, and a man with his leg propped up that was almost certainly Kaz.

Even though he made a mental note to strangle them later, the gesture eased the pressure within his chest ever so slightly.

And there was Wylan, a cup of tea clutched between his slender hands, huddled in a soft brown sweater. He was staring out of the window, those damned blue eyes vague and empty.

Jesper slid soundlessly into the booth, holding his breath as if he could force the longing from his lungs. “Hello, Wylan,” he said softly.

When he glanced up, something in his gaze shifted.

A blossoming flower.

An easing rainfall.

Something wonderful and exquisite and otherworldly.

Hope, hope, hope.

“Jes,” he returned with a little smile.

And Jesper leaned forwards. He couldn’t help it, not when Wylan was there before him and his lips were curved so slightly and his fingers were wrapped around his mug like—

“Wy,” he said, clearing his throat, “I wanted to talk.”

He straightened slightly, that quiet peace dissolving. “Had I not wanted to talk to you, I wouldn’t have answered your text.”

They stared at each other silently, waiting; it felt like sitting in the living room together, huddled over a game of chess, Jesper grinning as he slid the first pawn two squares up.

But he was not nearly so confident about his play now.

“I’ve been talking to Kaz,” he began awkwardly, the words clumsy in his mouth. “He told me you haven’t been seeing anyone.”

“And I’ve been speaking with Inej,” returned Wylan, utterly refined and elegant in his simplicity. “She tells me you’ve been seeing everyone.”

Jesper felt like a child again, clutching a rifle in his inexperienced hands, brows drawn together in concentration as he replayed his mother’s instruction in his mind. His father was playing target again, brown eyes gentle with encouragement. He didn’t know what to do, he was going to shoot his father, he was going to harm harm harm.

The words in his hands, his throat, were constricted and awful and stumbling. He didn’t know how to shoot without hurting anyone he loved.

Wylan was still gazing at him, blue eyes dark, for the first time in memory. “Jes,” he said, “was I so easy to forget?”

“Forget?” Jesper croaked. “Like a stupid song or piece of information on the study guide? Like you didn’t shine brighter than the damned sun? Like there were days when I didn’t wish to capture the stars and give them to you?”

There was a strange, crackling rush in Jesper’s ears, as if the ocean had swelled too high and now he was drowning, drowning, drowned.

If Wylan wanted him back, if Wylan loved him still—

He could wake up every morning with soft limbs tangled in his own. He could kiss Wylan again, taste tea and sugar cookies and mint. He could marry him, live out a life with him, die on the bed beside his own, fingers interlocked tight.

The future was there, tangled and messy and uncertain, but there all the same.

But Wylan was shifting in his seat, almost anxiously. “Jes,” he said softly. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

His eyes, his lovely blue eyes, were beginning to shine. “I know that look,” he said, almost bitterly. “I know that look damn well.”

Jesper’s giddy excitement was beginning to wither, and he clung to it desperately, a final shield against the darkness. “What look?”

Wylan reached out, fingertips stained blue with paint, hands still slim and delicate, a work of art. “If you think I want to… to get back together, I don’t. You and I, it was so much fun, and sometimes I wonder if everything was more than a college romance.”

He retracted his shaking hands, and ran them through his copper hair. “I wonder if another Jesper, who loved himself as much as his friends love him, and another Wylan, who was just a little bit of a better boyfriend, might have had their future together.”

Jesper could only stare

Wylan whispered, “Don’t you see it, Jes? We were stupid fucking collage kids who fell in love, but it was never supposed to carry on. I told you, that night in the club, I just wanted sex.”

He remembered.

Just sex, do you understand? No more, Jes.

But then, I want to kiss you. I want to kiss you just once.

And it kept going, spiraling, until one morning they were laying in bed and Wylan was wearing Jesper’s shirt, and Jesper was stroking Wylan’s hair, and it was much more than just sex.

One date, Wy. Give me a chance.

I love you, I love you, I love you, dumbass.

I want you to move in with me. I want you in my bed, my kitchen, my clothes. I want to see you tired and angry and miserable and I want to tell you you’re still the best fucking thing I’ve ever seen.

Jesper had imagined their wedding, every so often, a blazing pillar of hope lighting the path to the future. He had dreamt tailored suits and blue eyes and the final ring. He had planned every detail of his speech, his vows, his oath to live and die with Wylan Van Eck.

“Just sex,” he said at last. “We fucked it up, didn’t we, Wy?”

Wylan extended his hand once more. “I loved you, Jes, I won’t pretend. But I’m with someone else now, and I care for him, and I promised I would sort out the ghosts of my past.”

Jesper slid his palm over his, reveling in the soft skin, the gentle touch he would never feel again. “You’re happy?” he said softly. “He makes you laugh?”

He smiled, a secret, lovely smile. “Yeah. Yeah, he makes me laugh.”

And the sudden truth of it, the fact Wylan was someone else’s now, and he was laughing in another’s arms, hit Jesper. It sent ice through his veins, his mind, the final shattered shard of his heart, tearing through memories.

Wylan, brave and wonderful, laying on his bed. His hands were aloft, describing a particularly clear night sky, the shapes he traced in the stars. He had named one for Jesper, and he said it was shaped like love.

Jesper, doubled up in laughter as he flipped a pancake, listening to yet another one of Wylan’s rambling stories. He never tired of them. Those recollections, the happy lilt to his voice, the giddy, “There’s more, though!” were treasured beyond gold.

Wylan, working on some assignment or another, sprawled on the grass of a dewy meadow. His head was pillowed on Jesper’s hoodie as he wrote, filling the page with his elegant script. Every so often, he would glance over and point out a butterfly or shaped cloud with a smile.

Jesper, watching as Wylan leapt across the fountain. His copper head was upturned, sunlight streaming down onto the angles of his face, joy etched in his brilliant grin. He looked like a god for that one moment, frozen forever in a snapshot of peace.

“I will love you if the entire fucking world tells me not to,” Jesper had whispered once. “I will love you if the entire fucking world tells me to. I will love you, because I am yours, and there has never been such an honor.”

When the years whiled past, when the bone-deep sorrow lightened at last, did Jesper still love him?

That was the question he asked himself every morning over a cup of bitter coffee.

Twenty-four years old, and Jesper still loved him.

Thirty-one years old, and Jesper still loved him.

Forty-five years old, and Jesper still loved him.

Fifty-seven years old, and Jesper still loved him.

An old man, dying in his bed, and the laugh ringing through his head belonged to a boy with pretty blue eyes and a heart of gold.

A dead man, and Jesper loved him from the grave.

Love bowed to no one, and least of all death.

A collage romance was theirs, but their love was not that of two foolish young men, out for a kiss and in for a good fuck. It was carefree, happy, bright as the sun. It was etched in the stars, and it was doomed from the start.

Love bowed to no one, but perhaps it inclined its head towards Jesper Fahey and Wylan Van Eck.

#jesper fahey #wylan van eck #wesper au #wesper fic #wesper #six of crows #soc #crooked kingdom #ck #rule of wolves #row #my bestfriend loved this but shes biased as fuck #so here goes #im nervous ngl #please done hate this- #im so tired like excuse me

[wy-van-sunshine]

At your wedding - Wesper

“Do you, Mark Fields, take Wylan Hendriks to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do”

“Do you, Wylan Hendriks, take Mark Fields to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I...” 

Wylan hesitated for the tiniest moment: did he? 

He had imagined his wedding day several times in his life, but in his head the man standing before him had always been a tall Zemeni sharpshooter, a grin on his lips, a kindness only he knew in his eyes. 

He’d been happy with Jesper and he’d imagined to spend an entire life with him... but they’d been broken up for five years now, and since then Wylan had never thought about marrying any other man. 

He had met Mark three years before and he felt good around him, he felt loved, but surely he hadn’t planned on marrying him. 

At least not until Mark proposed. 

And how could he say no? After all, why should he wait for someone that would never come? Why should he ruin his life hoping that someday Jesper would rescue him? 

So he chose to stop thiking about his previous life, to move on, and he had said yes.

Wylan was cursing himself now: a man who loved him and was ready to do it all his life was standing before him, smiling and waiting for him to make that same promise, and what the hell was he doing? Thinking about Jesper, again. He wanted to slap himself. 

He cleared his throat and he opened his mouth: move on, Wylan. Move on.

“I d-”

“Of course he doesn’t, I mean, look at him, he’s probably about to faint”

The crowd gasped and turned around, staring at a very tall Zemeni man standing behind all the guests chairs. Wylan froze, terror raising up his spine: Jesper? Could it be?

“I’m sorry, who are you?” asked Mark, confusion in his eyes. He looked at Wylan, hoping for some reaction, but the redhead was still and tense. 

Jesper moved some steps forward, from the bottom of the garden among the guests and in the two grooms’ direction. His usual grin rested on his lips.

“I am the one who should be where you, my friend, are standing right now. I’m the one who should be marrying that beautiful ginger flautist”

Wylan felt his cheeks go red, he felt his own body flushing with embarassment - and something else? He didn’t want to know.

“Jesper, what are you doing?” he asked in a whisper, his voice shaky and afraid. He didn’t know how to react, he didn’t know how he actually wanted to react. He found the strength to raise his eyes and look directly at his ex boyfriend. 

“I think it’s pretty clear, but let me explain better. I’ve been preparing this speech for nights, you know?” answered Jesper with a grin. But then Wylan noticed something change in his eyes, it was as if honesty had suddenly taken the place of his usual sarcasm. Whatever he was going to say, he was going to do it with his heart.

“I think I’ve been an idiot for not fighting to stay with you. I think I should have kissed you more when we were together, because I knew I loved you, but I had no idea how much I’d miss your lips. Or your hugs, or really anything about you, for that matter. I think...” Jesper sighed, then smiled: “I think I might be making a fool of myself right now, because maybe you’re actually happy without me and you want to marry that man. But if there’s even the slightest chance you don’t, if there’s even the slightest chance you want me back, then I have to take it” 

Wylan was left speechless: his face went pale, insanely white, and yes, Jesper had been right before: he felt like fainting. He really did. His body fell backwards and Mark immediately reached for him and held him standing. 

“Look, your speech was touching, really, but you’re ruining our day and honestly I just want to punch you right now” said Mark looking at Jesper. Was he challenging him? Jesper undid his tie and lifted his shirt sleeves - Saints, he was dressed so well, he was really taking it seriously.

“Well then come and do it. I should warn you though, I didn’t come alone, so you probably don’t want to take on a gang from Ketterdam”

“Watch me”

“I’m waiting”

“For Ghezen’s sake, stop it! Fucking stop it!” screamed Wylan, sudden strength in his voice. He looked at his guests, shock in each one of them, then he looked at his mother who was probably feeling so ashamed, he looked at Mark’s parents visibly shaken.

He looked at Mark and then at Jesper: what now? What the hell was he supposed to do and why was he the one who had to do something?

His determination disappeared in a few seconds and he did the stupidest thing: he started crying, careless of all the eyes pointed at him, careless of Mark shaking him in an attempt to help him, careless of Jesper’s voice trying to bring him back to their situation. 

He had dreamed about his wedding day so many times, but in none of them did he end up crying. None of them was such a mess, all because of a jealous ex boyfriend. 

He tried not to think about any of that and he focused on his breath, because he was pretty sure a panic attack was raising in his chest and that was the last thing he needed. He breathed in and out, in and out, in and out. 

He calmed down and he kept his eyes closed for some seconds, his head slowly going back to reality, to Mark and Jesper shaking him and trying to take care of him. 

He breathed in and out one last time, then he stood straighter.

“Why now, Jesper?”

“What? Wylan-”

“Shut up, Mark” Wylan’s voice was ruder than he intended, but he didn’t care: “Jesper?”

“I...” Jesper hesitated: “I don’t know. I’ve thought about coming back to you many times, but I... I didn’t know how”

“So you chose to put on a fucking show at my saintsforsaken wedding?”

The sharpshooter restrained a laugh: angry Wylan was so wild and when he didn’t fear him - because sometimes he did - he actually loved him. 

“I do things with style” he simply replied with a shrug.

It cost him too much to admit he had waited for Wylan to miss him, to run away from his life and go back to him. It cost him too much to say that he thought Wylan wouldn’t actually marry another man because he was still in love with him. It cost him too much to take in that, if it wasn’t for his desperate last move, Wylan would already be married to another man. 

Maybe everything he did was wrong, maybe he was just hopelessly in love with his merchling and he was waiting for the impossible to happen. 

“I need to rest in my bed” said Wylan with a sigh.

“Wait... let’s get married, Wylan. There’s only your will left-”

“Not now, Mark. I love you, but please, just let me take a pause from all of this. I’m begging you, I really can’t right now”

Jesper felt something break in his heart as he heard Wylan telling Mark he loved him. What the hell was he doing there? Was he actually so crazy?

Wylan stepped away from Mark, but as he walked past Jesper he whispered the softest “Come with me” and Jesper could have just exploded right there. 

The redhead disappeared and Jesper turned to the guests, a grin taking place on his lips:“Well, it’s been an honour, y’all. I’m sure this day has become even more memorable than it should have been” then he stared at Mark: “Goodbye Mark, take care and don’t take on other gang members, they’re not all as soft as I am”

To everyone’s surprise (because no one had heard Wylan’s whisper to Jesper) the Zemeni walked away from the wedding with nonchalance, whistling a funny melody. Had that all been pointless comedy?

* * *

Wylan was sitting in a chair in front of the mirror when he heard someone knock at the window glass: he looked at Jesper’s grin reflected in the mirror and he sighed, turning around and walking to the window to open it at let Jesper in.

Evidently he still had some little barrel habits, such as ignoring the existence of doors.

“So...” said the sharpshooter, not sure about how to behave now. He was with the boy he still loved after five years, he had just ruined his wedding: what did one say in such situations?

Wylan sat back in his chair and closed his eyes, touching his temples with his fingers: “What am I supposed to do, Jesper?”

Jesper froze: how could he possibly know? Wylan had to make the choice now, he had already given his speech. What was there left to say? 

“I love Mark, I really do. He made me... think a little less about you”

Jesper’s heart leapt as Wylan didn’t use the word “forget”. So he hadn’t forgotten about their story either. 

“Why should I be with you, mh?” continued the redhead opening his eyes and meeting Jesper’s gaze in the mirror: “Why shouldn’t I be out there marrying a guy who would never embarass me the way you did today?”

Jesper sighed and spoke nothing but what was in his heart: “Because you wouldn’t be here with me if you didn’t still love me, but out there celebrating your marriage. Because Mark would have known who I was if you weren’t too afraid to tell him about me, about us”

Jesper stepped forward and placed a hand on Wylan’s shoulder: “Because I know your eyes so damn well and I know when you’re happy. You weren’t when you were telling your vows. You weren’t when you were going to say I do. But you were when you saw me there, about to screw your wedding up”

Wylan snorted: he wanted to tell Jesper to fuck off, but he couldn’t lie to himself. Jesper was right, he was so right. He had felt something when the sharpshooter has showed up, and that something was relief, happines, maybe love. 

“Let’s run away together, Wy. I have a carriage waiting for me outside. Come with me and I promise I’ll make you happy. Hell, we can get married if that’s what you want. Just...” Jesper leaned forward and rested his lips on Wylan’s neck, leaving a soft kiss there, feeling his skin tremble: “Just come with me”

Wylan closed his eyes again, feeling Jesper’s touch after so much time and immediatly wanting much, much more.

But he couldn’t just leave like that. He owed something to Mark, to his parents, to their guests. He just couldn’t screw everything up because he wanted to run away with Jesper.

“I’ve missed you so much, Jes” he whispered: “But you have to let me think. It’s... it’s so complicated to make a choice right now”

It’s so complicated to focus on anything other than your scent, other than your lips.

“Go in your carriage and... if you don’t see me in an hour, leave. Then you’ll know what my decision is”

Jesper felt - again - something break inside him: had that all been for nothing? Saints, he really hoped not. He opened his mouth to say something more, but the words died on his lips: now there really was nothing left to say. He just had to wait and hope for a miracle.

He smiled at Wylan and he silently left, climbing down the window and reaching for his carriage.

* * *

“Time’s up” said Kaz, checking his clock: “We have to go, Jesper”

“No, we wait”

Kaz lifted an eyebrow and looked at Inej: since when did Jesper discuss his decisions? The Wraith sighed and, despite how much she had hoped in Wylan’s return, she had to speak in Kaz’s favour.

“We waited for an hour and a half, Jes, it’s even more than he gave you. He...” she hesitated: “He has made his choice”

“Well it’s the wrong one!” screamed Jesper, hiding his face in his palms and trying to calm down. That couldn’t be how it ended. It just couldn’t.

He felt Inej’s delicate hand rest on his shoulder: “You don’t have a say in other people’s decisions. I know you put all your heart in trying to get him back, but... maybe he’s happy. Maybe you have to try and move on”

“Or maybe he just has to stop screwing weddings up to get one single person back”

Wylan’s voice reached Jesper’s ears like a sweet melody: he lifted his head and he met his beautiful blue eyes, his sincere smile - was he dreaming or was that actually a grin?

“Wylan... it’s been an hour and a half, we could’ve not been here anymore, you idiot!”

Wylan laughed: “But you are. I hoped you’d wait a little more for me. And even if you were gone, do you really think I wouldn’t have come looking for you?”

Jesper laughed back, releasing all his tension: “You leave me speechless”

“Wow, this turned out to be a unique day, indeed”

Jesper stepped forward and took Wylan’s hand: “What took you so long?”

“As I said, I couldn’t just leave all those people there. I had to explain, especially to Mark. I know you two didn’t exactly hit it off, but he’s a nice guy and he deserved it”

Jesper rolled his eyes, but in the end he didn’t care: Wylan was there, he had chosen him. 

One hand in the other, Jesper stared at Wylan as he dragged him in the carriage, followed by Kaz and Inej: “So... where to, Mister?”

Wylan smiled, looking at him straight in his deep gray eyes: “Anywhere with you”

#wesper #wylan x jesper #wesper fanfic #wesper fic #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #six of crows #crooked kingdom #shadow and bone

[emmaannaelisabeth]

so hello, friends, just so you know, if i have the prompt sunshine, i'm not going to write about flowers and summer, but rather about how the sun reflects in the barell of a gun, so to speak. so here it is. our beloved sunshine. (tw: death)

wylan wakes up early, turns in bed, gazes upon jesper as he sleeps. he looks at the way the rebellious rays of sunlight fall on the curve of his cheekbone, he lets his gaze wander over jesper’s eyebrow, his nose, his closed eyes, his dark eyelashes.

again, it strikes wylan; jesper is the most beautiful human being he has ever seen. he likes that stupid face. he likes jesper’s kind eyes, he adores the way he can’t sit still when he’s excited.

he realises he could lie there forever, just looking at jesper, if he got the chance, but no. wylan carefully gets out of bed, puts on his clothes, and steals one last look of jesper before he leaves there room.

he heads down to the kitchen, just a little bit too high on the feeling that life is good, life is worth living and life is finally making him happy, so happy.

he’s just a little too blinded by the picture of jesper in the sun. he’s just a little too up in the blue to watch his steps.

wylan misses the first step of the stairs, he tumbles down, hits the reeling, breaks it and whoops, he’s falling, embraced by air, and air only.

there’s a sickening crack as he hits the floor, metres down. and wylan lies there, eyes open, not seeing anything. arms outstretched, his fingers still. head turned to the side, lips parted slightly, never to be kissed again.

he cannot breathe, and he cannot see, and he cannot feel. anything.

sunshine falls upon him, caresses his cheek, just like it did jesper’s. something warm, something nice. it reflects in his hair, makes his red curls shine, almost like a halo. a saint, some might have said if they saw him.

he feels light, as if he was flying, and he can feel his heart slow down. don't fail me now, he begs, knowing his prayers won't be answered.

something swirls in his mind, is that music? he wants to smile, but he can't move his lips.

a saint dressed in sunlight and warmth, do i look like that? destined to fall, have his wings melted in the heat, have his skin burn in the rays, have his glittering eyes darken like a dying star. saint, a sun saint, glowing like the star itself.

he wants to laugh, but all he can do is wait.

saint, they would have called him. that would've been something, huh. did you hear that jesper?

his world is blurring. you should see this, jesper. looks funny.

"wylan?" jesper?

steps in the corridor, upstairs, far away, no, close, no far far away. "wylan, you up?"

I'm here, why you taking so long?

"I thought maybe we could-" jesper stops talking, or is it just wylan who's slipping? he can't tell.

look, jes, there's a light, do you see the light?

there's a word, a word on repeat. am i saying it? nah. wylan wants to laugh. but even so, he can hear it: no, no, no.

that's a sad word, jes, you shouldn't say it.

"wylan!"

wylan wants to smile, i love the way you say my name.

steps, rushed. so eager to see me?

wylan feels his weak heart jump, and he would want nothing than to feel jesper's hand in his, feel his arms around his chest, feel his smile against his lips. one more time.

"oh, saints, please no..."

that's a sad word, i want to hear happy ones.

a hand on his cheek, something wet drops on his skin.

why are you crying, jes?

a sob, a gasp, the ruffle of clothes.

the sun is shining, jes, i love seeing you in the sun. we should go out, we should-

"no, please, please, wylan, no..."

wylan hears it again, and he wants to laugh again, it's the most beautiful melodies he's ever heard. it's making him dizzy.

do you hear the music, jes? i hear the music... please, oh, jesper, listen to the music.

but after all, there is no music, and he is only wylan van eck. and there's little a dying boy can do, when fate has pierces him with its claws.

there was little he could do when gravity decided to sweep him off his feet.

or no, gravity simply embraced him. sunshine made him slip, sunshine and memories made him fall.

how does it feel to betrayed by your own name?

oh, i wouldn't know, wylan chuckles, suddenly not even remembering that the name jesper cries out in utter despair is his own.

all he can remember, all he knows, is music.

#wylan van eck #poor wylan #jesper fahey #wylan van sunshine #death trope #fanfic #wesper #six of crows #soc #six of crows duology #leigh bardugo

[spencstan]

Six of Crows re-read

(i also did this for the shadow and bone trilogy so read that if you want to)

spoiler alert obiously

i'm SO EXCITED FOR THIS this is my comfort book (with crooked kingdom of course)

JOOST HI

oo fun fact this was my first grishaverse book and i read it with no context whatsoever except that the mc is an emo boy and morally grey

so IMAGINE my pure confusion when JOOST appeared

i was like ?????? weird take on morally grey character but ok

joost trying to figure out how to flirt with a girl is a mood

anyone wanna teach us how to???

i kinda wanna skip this part so i can see the crows..

but i won't don't worry

(won't I?

"I think Yuri may be quarantined"

aaaand?

so are we you are not special

i feel like it's very important for me to mention that i read this book in spanish first

and then i got into the fandom and i was like who the fuck is the wraith? i only know El Espectro

Heartender who??? ooo you mean Cardio

Tidemakers? nope, i only know Maremotores

for real i was so confused i had to re-read it in english (not that i mind tho)

say whatever you want about the spanish version but we have to agree that this design is pretty af

another one yay: "Retvenko was a Squaller" vs. "Retvenk era un Impulsor"

(should i also say that in my pfd english version the book is 294 pages long and in my pdf spanish version its 532????) (i think it's because in the english one the speces are way less like the lines are so close together wtf

i've decided that i'm bored so i'll be skiping this chapter

anya is super badass tho

skdgfalsdgfliaysvfascvhjl yesssssss inej

Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

KAZ

INEJ

I MISSED THEM

omg now i can picture amita and freddy SDJGKASKGLASG THIS IS AMAZING

we interrupt our regularly scheduled program to watch the shadow and bone trailer once again to hear freddy's beautiful voice

ok moving on!

now hear me out i'm giving you all permission to make fun of kaz for this one: Dirtyhands = Manos Sucias

hello i am Kaz Manos Sucias. nice to meet you!

AAAAA

AAAAAAAAAA

JESPER FAHEY

JESPER LOVE HI

SJDGHFKAHSGDLAJSDFSJ,AHFLHDSGF

I MISSED HIM OMG

OMG NOW I CAN PICTURE HIM AS KIT

can you tell jesper is one of my favourite characters?

i really love the fact that kaz is pissed about the murder of that ambassador ONLY because he can´t figure out how it happen

he´s such a nerd

i can't believe one of the firts things we hear jesper say is threathen to kill someone by writing "forgive me" with bullets

AND HE CALLS HIS GUNS "BABIES" OMG

picture saying hi baby and wylan thinkin he's talking to him but actually jesper's talking to one of his guns

Jesper rolled his eyes. "It's about sending a message. What's the point of a dead guy with forg written on his chest?."

"Compromise," Kaz said. "I'm sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets."

ooo thank god we have kaz to come up with creative solutions /j /s

honestly i love how they talk about kaz's cane like it's the scariest weapon ever (which it kind of is)

nothing will ever disappoint me more than finding out that in english their gang name is "the Dregs". like i don't even know for sure what that means

in spanish is "Los Indeseables" (the undesirables?) which sounds a lot more badass

no hate tho i like the dregs

but i was confused af bc i expected it to be sometihng like "the undesirables" or"the unwanted" or whatever

and it said "the dregs"

which in the translator means something like shit or something

anways moving on:

If he'd (kaz) ever been a little boy

i love how lowkey all the crows think he was just born exactly like he is now

imagine a baby kaz all dressed in black and threatening people

cute

"No mourners," Jesper said as he tossed his rifle to Rotty

"No funerals," the rest of the Dregs murmured in reply. Among them, it passed for "good luck".

YES

YESSS

i wonder what wylan's doing right now :))

i can't wait for the next book where he has a pov

the first time i read this book i literally looked at the title of every chapter to see if he ever got one (i was disappointed to say the least :((((

Besides, she was the Wraith - the only law that applied to her was gravity, and some days she defied that, too.

ma'am

marry me please

i'm gonna cry so hard once the show is out and we get to see inej omg

me simp

That Kaz had chosen Jesper to be one of his seconds was no surprise. Twitchy as Jepser was, with or without his revolvers, he was at his best in a fight, and she knew he'd do anything for Kaz.

idk why but i just love it every time kaz implies or shows that he cares or trusts jesper

it makes me soft

But every one of Inej's senses told her that was not how this was going to play out. Her father would have said the shadows were about their business tonight. Something bad was going to happen here.

underrated saying from Inej's father right there

"I'm a business man," he told her."No more, no less"

"You're a thief, Kaz."

"Isn't that what I just said?"

i-

i see no lies here

not to be annoying but i hc jesper as adhd (i mean is pretty much as canon as wylan's dyslexia) so i'm gonna write here every time i see evidence :)

jesper with adhd part 1: impulsivity

Jesper snorted. "Stomach, spine. What's next, spleen?"

"Shut it" Oomen snarled. The rules of parley dictated that only the lieutenants could speak once negotiations had begun. Jesper mouthed "sorry" and elaboratedly pantomimed locking his lips shut.

he know he couldn't speak but couldn't stop himself from making a comment (i relate way too much to that lmao)

hoestly poor jesper he had to watch hid friend get shot and kaz do nothing about it

i would've been mad too

"I like it when men beg," she said. "But this isn't the time for it"

KAHGFAHLGSFGASFLGSAFS

this is one of the best quotes in the book by far

YASSS KAZ POV

Kaz could have tol Jesper that he knew he wasn't dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him eough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight.

cute

but kaz is petty af

he didn't even have a reason not to tell jesper that!

i love that kaz knows inej is following him but doesn't say anything because he wants to wait until she's ready

i LOVE the scene where kaz in in the van eck mantion /srs

idk why but it's so good

And, of course, there was the mystery of Van Eck's son.

wonder what that could be!!! /s

He grinned at her (...)

"Hmm." she said noncommittally, pretending to examine one of her knives, determined to ignore that grin.

KANEJ YESS

HE'S BASICALLY SHOWERING IN FRONT OF HER OMG

this is so funny poor inej is getting flustered

"And I'll need Wylan waiting at the Crow Club tomorrow night."

YES WYLAN OMG

One minute he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder

happens to the best of us :/

"Please, my darling Inej. treasure of my heart won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"

if kaz doesn't say this on the show we riot

agreed?

it's so amazing how nina found a way to use her powers to get money instead of having to like steal and murder like the rest in the gang

NINA'S POV YESSS HIII

nina and inej omg

their friendship is just perfect

POOR MATTHIAS HE HAS TO FIGHT THE WOLVES

i would straight up cry

Matthias was dreaming again. Dreaming of her

i'm gonna cry damn it

this is the enemies-to-lovers we all needed

jesper has adhd part 2:

"Jesper was supposed to wait until three bells." said the pale boy

"It is three bells, Kaz." replied a small girl (...)

"Since when is Jesper punctual?" the boy complained with a glance at his watch

the time blindness come one

(btw i love the fact that kaz plans around jesper's time blindness instead of like threatening him to be on time)

i really love how every one feels the need to take the time to say/think that the masks are ugly

its so unnecessary lmao

yessss inej is a badass that kills monster we stan

and matthias is lowkey impressed lmao

as he should

"Thank you, Jesper," said Nina

"You're very welcome, gorgeous. See, Kaz? That's how the civilised folk do"

THESE TWO OMG

JESPER IS THE LOML

INEJ OMG LOOK:

She stepped aside as if she's known he was coming, languidly hooking her heel behind his ankle. Matthias let out a loud grunt as he landed on the stones

(...) "Clumsy, this one," the bronze girl said impassively.

i-

that's what happen when you underestimate her bitch

AAAAAAA

PEOPLE

PEOPLE

TIME TO FREAK OUT

WYLAN IS HERE

AND HE'S DOODLING STOP IT'S SO CUTE

ok jesper has adhd part 3 i think:

"Just how crazy is he?" asked Jesper, fingers drumming on the pearl handles of his revolvers.

ok first of all: stimming

second of all: hyperactivity

i rest my case

ok 2 or 3 things here

"I believe you know Nina," Brekker continued. "The lovely girl freeing you is Inej. (...) and this is Wylan, the best demolitions expert in the Barrel"

"Raske is better," Inej said

The boy looked up, ruddy gold hair flopping in his eyes, and spoke for the first time. "He's not better. He's reckless"

"He knows his trade"

"So do I"

ok 1: kaz calling inej lovely omg kanej

2: YES WYLAN STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF

2.5: kaz calling him the best cute af

3: honestly why do people think wylan is like an innocent soft boy or whatever. he's in a room full of murderers and thieves and the first thing he does is correct them and stand up for himself

like i wish i could do that

i would be crying like a bitch

AAAAAAAA

"Meet Wylan Van Eck"

KHDSGFALSGFIASGFAL

HI WYLAN BABY

YESSS JESPER'S POV NOW

I'M SO HAPPY also look at this it's the first thing in his pov

Jesper stared at Wylan

do i sense some wesper?????

ok everyone is being so mean to him right now

they are aclling him useless and an idiot and other shit

poor boy honestly he had to deal with this + taking part of a heist he is definetly not ready for + he has to hide the fact that he can't write or read

it so distrubing that kaz is literally the nicest one to wylan right now

"See that? Hidden depths." (...)"He's good enough at demo, and he's got a fine hand for sketching, thanks to all those pricey tutors."

(...)

"There you have it," Kaz said to Jesper. "Marketable skills. Wylan is watching you, Helvar"

GET READY

ARE Y'ALL READY?

OK THEN:

"Scheming face," Jesper whispered to Inej.

She nodded. "Definetly."

THEIR FRIENDSHIP OMG

AND THIS QUOTE

I NEED IT ON THE SHOW THEY BETTER GIVE IT TO US

"Who's Mark" damn wylan (but pretty good comeback to jesper tho)

"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?

"Knife to the throat?" asked Inej.

"Gun to the back?" said Jesper.

"Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina.

"You're all horrible," said Matthias.

tag yourself i'm jesper

KJSFGAL kaz just told wylan to tell him everything he know about his dad's company

and he said he doesn't know and kaz was like "and you never looked trough his documents????

AND THEN HE GOT SAD AND SAID HE HADN'T (and kaz believed him this is sad)

AND NOW JESPER CALLED HIIM USELESS

ok you know i love you jes but if you keep this up

idk i can't do anything you're a sharpshooter

but stiiiiiil

LMAO MATTHIAS ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE COULD BEAT KAZ

nice try

demjin

*insert spongebob voice* demjin

WE'RE GONNA TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO APPRECIATE INEJ GAHFA

BECAUSE KAZ DOESN'T

The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true.

*ugly crying*

Many boys will bring you flowers. But some day you'll meet a boy who will learn your favourite flower, your favourite song, your favourite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.

*uglier crying*

TANTE HELLEN IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

SOMEONE PLEASE STAB HER FOR ME

jesper has adhd part ?? (i have dyscalculia you can't expect me to remember the number):

That sound - the swift, shocking report of gunfire - called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else.

do i really need to explain this?

ok just in case.. an adhd brain doesn't actually have a deficit of attention(the name just sucks) it's problem with controling that attention. the brain is always looking for new sources of dopamine which is why it shifts its focus so much

i love that jes thinks of matthias as "tha giant"

like sir

have you seen yourself?

you're tall af

HE GOT SHOT

WHY DID I FORGET JESPER GETS SHOT IN THE LEG HERE

"Close your eyes!"

"You can't kiss me from down there, Wylan"

"Just do it!"

i love the energy BUT NOW IT'S NOT THE TIME JES

YESS WYLAN SHOW THEM THEY WERE WRONG CALLING YOU USELESS

inej just stabed some guy int the d

good for her!

KAZ YESSSS HI

AWWW SHE'S WORRIED HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS CANE

KANEJ FOR LIFE

oh no wylan got shot too???? (just barely but stilllll por baby)

my Wraith omggg

ok 3 things about this:

Without another word, he tipped Oomen into the sea.

"No!" Wylan shouted, leaning over the railing, his face pale, stunned eyes tracking Oomen in the waves. (...)

Jesper set his hand on Wylan's shoulder. "Let it go."

"It's not right-"

"Wylan," Jesper said, giving him a little shake."Maybe your tutors didn't cover this lesson, but you do not argue with a man covered in blook and a knife up his sleeve"

1. wesper yasssss

2. wylan just argued with a mant hat had just tacken the eye out of someone. he literally called him out for being an asshole. like damn wylan is brave af i love him

3. do you think seeing kaz trow the guy out of the boat reminded wylan of when the same thing happened to him???? this makes me sad

he's brave and a good person and i just-

"Man with a knife, remember?" he said over his shoulder.

"Man with a gun!" Jesper called after him

this had no right being so funny

AND THEN KAZ GAVE HIM THE MIDDLE FINGER STOP I CAN'T

nina is the biggest kanej shiper no one can tell me i'm wrong

unrelated but if jesper had gone to the Little Palace and had studied there with nina they 100% would've had a crush on Zoya and bonded over it

like you can't tell me those two bisexual disaster wouldn't be absolutely in love with Zoya

jesper has adhd part ??:

Jesper scrubbed the back of his neck, touched his hands to his gunds, returned to his neck. He always seemed to be in motions

hyperactivity right there

and restlessness

"Do you know the best way to find Grisha who don't want to be found?" (...)

"Seems to be if they don't want to be found, you should just let them be" (jesper says this)

this conversation must be so stressful to him omg

LMAO JESPER CUT MATTHIAS HAIR THIS IS SO FUNNY

AND HE SHAVED HIM

ok you all know i love all of them but they can be sooo stupid

like wylan wrote no names on the drawing and he's excuse is that he doesn't know fjerdan?

AND THAT'S NOT EVEN TRUE he literally said he learned school fjerdan which means he should know how to write it too (we know why he can't but the tohers don't)

and even then like the excuse doesn't make any sense. why would having the original name be usefull if no one can fucking read it????

the worst part tho? NO ONE QUESTIONED HIM

THEY WERE LIKE "yup makes sense" AND WENT ON WITH THEIR DAY

i wondered how they didn't figure wylan's secret sooner but now i now

it's because theya re idiots

"I'm just doing my job. Stop glaring at me"

wylan baby let's not make the gigant mad

Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. "Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost."

Brekker's lips quirked. "I'll just hire Matthias ghost to kick your ghost's ass."

"My ghost won't associate with your ghost," Matthias said primply, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

i had to put this here i don't want to get murdered by the fandom

jesper, inej and nina have the BEST friendship

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE JES AND INEJ TOGETHER ON NETFLIX

"I know some people don't understand, but Kaz told me ... he said it was my choice, that he wouldn't be the one to mark me again."

i love this because it happen when they had just met

he did it because he understands her trauma and he respects her not because he loves her (i doubt he did at the time)

Kaz had been impressed with the sketches. (...)

"Just learn to take a compliment. Kaz doesn't hand them out often."

I'M SO PROUD OF WYLAN

and yess kaz only compliments wylan (and inej but that's sarcastic so it doesn't count) because he's a proud dad

"And you don't belong here, either."

"I beg your pardon, merchiling?"

"We don't need a sharpshooter for Kaz's plan, so what's your job - other than stalking around making everyone angsty?"

He shrugged. "Kaz trusts me."

Wylan snorted and picked up his pen. "Sure about that?"

DAMN WYLAN DESTROYED HIM

also

"If you aren't born with every advantage, you learn to take your chances."

"I wasn't-" Wylan left off and set down his pen. (...)

aww cute neurodivergent boyfriends bonding

Wylan had turned back to his work, his disappointment obvious. For some reason, Jesper felt disappointed, too.

ajgflasjgfjagslfiuusgflgdfsgdflasdgfsd

wesper

aww jes checks on inej every morning and every night i love him

"Thank you for keeping me in this world when fate seemed determined to drag me to the next. I owe you a life debt."

Nina blushed deeply. "I was teasing, Inej"

LJFGALKGFALGA another cute friendship right there

(and i can see why people ship them romantically)

STOP INEJ AND JES ARE BONDING SO MUCH (page 127 so i can go back and read it lmao)

Van Eck writes to Wylan every week, and Wylan doesn't even open the letters

"They just said the same thing again and again: If you're reading this, the you know how much I wish to have you home. Or I pray that you read these words and think of all you've left behind."

should i kill him? anyone want to join me?

Inej bumped her shoulder against his."Then at least we're both the same kind of stupid." (...)

"You're too good for him, you know?"

"I know. So are you"

jes and her bonding over their stupid crush on a white boy

Because I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.

jfsfdajdhmgkfutdjrgsg ok i can't blame them for having a crush on him anymore

this chapter is full of kanej i love it

"What do you want, then"

You, Inej. You forever.

jksdgfoagsdfgsdgfklasgdflaghsldfgksdgfkahgsdfghjlkf

kaz's backstory makes me sad

"When we get our money, you can burn kruge to keep you warm," said Kaz. (...)

"I´m gonna pay someone to burn my kruge for me."

Kaz fell into step beside him. "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what big players do."

"You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone ...". Their voices trailed off as they tomped ahead, and Matthias and the others followed.

JES AND KAZ HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS

i can't believe we get to see nina and matthias meet and their whole backstory in less than a month omg

"It's not natural for women to fight."

"It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand."

QUEEN

YOU TELL HIM

oh no the dead grisha

this part breaks my heart every time

"Do you have a different name for killing when you wear a uniform to do it?"

.....i'm just gonna leave this quote right here

anyways acab

stop nina tried to kill the survivor so they wouldn't suffer but she couldn't do it

and jesper did it for her without hesitation i wanna cry

and inej didn't want to do it either i want to hug them

"Because our crime is existing. Our crime is what we are"

..........

i'm gonna leave this here again

do with it what you will

"Don't mock what you don't understand."

"My mockery offends you? My people would welcome you laughter in place of this barbarity"

i- this conversation is so important

AAAAA JES AND WY ARE A GREAT TEAM I LOVE THEM

WYLAN TROWS BOMBS TOGIVE JESPER TIME TO GET READY TO SHOOT

INEJ AND KAZ ARE A GREAT TEAM TOO

THEY LITERALLY DID THE SCENE LIKE IN THE AVENGERS (but without the shield WHICH MAKES IT BETTER)

Jesper shouldered his rifle. "Wylan earned his keep."

Wylan gave a little jump at the sound of his name. "I did?"

YES BABY YOU DID GREAT

kaz getting self-conscious for his hair is pure comedy

but nina how can you say that have you see his hair on the show???? it's perfect

"Remeber our friend Mark?"

HELP I CAN'T

"Any other impossible feats you'd like us to accomplish?"

The bearest smile flikered over Kaz's lips. "I'll make you a list."

once again jesper and kaz being besties

unrelated but nikolai and jesper would love each other

the amount of sass they have between them it's unparalleled

"Mmm," Inej murmured, taking a sip from her mug. "Maybe you're just not enough."

DAMN

ma'am marry me please

kaz fainted damn poor boy

unrelated unce again but this is so much betetr than shadow and bone

like you can tell leigh improved so much

her characters are better and their arcs are better developed

the writing itself it's better

or maybe i'm just biased because i love soc so much but i think she definetly improved

INEJ IS TRYING TO GIVE HIM SPACE EVEN WHEN SHE'S TRAPPED AND LOCKED ON THE WAGON

I JUST - THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO MUCH

Though he'd trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with his shame.

Inej had once offered to teach him how to fall. "The trick is not getting knocked down," he'd told her with a laugh. "No, Kaz," she's said, "the trick is in getting back up"

inej is smart af

Kaz was usually unshakeable during a job, but now he was on edge, and Jesper didn't know why. Part of him wanted to ask, though he knew that was the stupid part, the hopeful farmboy who picked the worst possible person to care about, who searched for signs in things that he knew deep down meant nothing - when kaz chose him for a job, when Kaz played along with one of his jokes. He could have kicked himself. He's finally seen the infamous Kaz Brekker without a stich of clothing, and he'd been too worried about ending up on a pike to pay proper attention.

ok i got a couple of things to say about this part

first of all it makes me so sad that jes cares so much for someone who dosn't deserve him. because no hate to kaz but they would never work as a couple and kaz already treats him like shit most of the time

i think this part shows who a lot about who jesper really is. a boy that grew up having to hide parts of himself, who thinks he's worth nothing but it's smart and capable, who's loyal and brave and caring but doesn't even know it himself. he's someone who feels he doesn't deserve good things and thinks he's not good enough, and that's why he unds up in all the wrong places with the wrong people. he left uni bc he fell in with the gangs, because he didn't think he was smart enough or even prepared to be in studying in the university. jesper is constantly hiding behind a mask or running from things because he's scared of not being enough

an kaz is everything jes in a way wishes he could be. kaz is secure in himself (at least on the outside), he's stable, he's smart, he's "unshakeable". and most of all, he doesn't care about others (we know that's not true but that's how he presents himself)

and that's the thing that causes jesper all his problems. because he's insecure because he thinks he's not good enough for the poeple or things he cares about. and he's always trying to do what's best for his loved ones: he went to the ice court to pay his debt for his father, he follows kaz everywhere beacause he cares about him, he offered to read to wylan (knowing it wouldn't be easy for him to be still that long).

and yeah it often doesn't work out becuase he's messy and he has problems but he tries. and he hates that. he hates that he cares so much about people because at the end of the day, that's what makes him feel like he's not good enough

one more thing and i'm done i promise

unpopular opinion but i love that leigh made jesper have a crush on kaz. 1 beacuse it's refreshing to see someone not get otgether with his first crush. and 2 because i love that it shows that we sometimes get attached to people that are not good for us, but that we can learn to move on. jesper ended with wylan who respects him and values him, unlike kaz

ok i'm sorry that was probably all bs

oo one more thing, jesper definetly has rsd (rejection sensitive disphoria), which is something most poeple with adhd have

"My father used to take me everywhere with him"

this is so sad. bc they probably had a good relationship when he was little. and then they figured he coudln't read and now his father treats him like shit

it's even worse than if he haf been horrible from the beginning because wylan knows he can be a good father. and so he thinks it's his fault and he deserves to be treated like that. i hate van eck

"You're cuter when you're smart"

(...)

"Definitely cuter when you're smart"

wesper yesssss

i love them so much

ok but why do people think jesper is stupid. like the boy just made a bunch of criminals pass out by mixing some chemicals

and he was going to the university at like 15

AAAAND NOW THEY KNOW HE'S A FABRIKATOR

amazing plot twist

also:

Wylan coughed. Flirting with him might actually be more fun that annoying him, but it was a close call.

oooo come on jesper we all know you just love getitng him to blush

and you love him

who said that? definitely not me, nope

awwww jesper misses being around animals that's cute

imagine him coming home to wylan one day with a puppy because he just couldn't resist

cute

Better terrible truths than kind lies

just leaving here more of inej's wisdom

ok this may be a reach but jesper has adhd part ???

Yellow Protocol? Red Protocol? He couldn't remember which was which. (...)

"The alarm was Yellow Protocol, a sector disturbance."

Jesper pushed at his temples. "I don't remember what that means"

a bad working memory? sounds familiar

kaz loves puzzles

it's canon

"I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue."

this part where wylan and jesper see the banner made with grisha's kefta kills me every time

I would have worn purple, Jesper thought, if I'd joined the Second Army. (...) He'd beenwilling, even eager to risk capture and execution as a thief and hired gun. Why was it worse to think about being hunted as a Grisha?

this makes me want to cry so much

another thing super sad: the fact that since his father is Kaelish and had some supersititons towards grisha, jesper grew up wondering if his own father was scared of him. he had to hide his powers and he was almost taught to be afraid of them

"Is it safe to leave them, you know-"

"Alive? I'm not big on killing unconscious men."

"We could wake them up"

WYLAN

NO

damn the boy needs therapy

it's amazing how nothing went like they planned

not a single thing

PEOPLE GET READY

ARE YOU READY?

NEITHER AM I BUT WHO CARES

"What do you like?"

"Music. Numbers. Equations. They are not like words. They...they don't get mixed up."

ok dude the clues are right there he's basically saying it

"If only you could talk to girls in equations."

There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they'd created in the link, Wylan said, "Just girls?"

Jesper restrained a grin. "No. Not just girls." It really was a shame they were all probably going to die tonight.

wylan really said a straight man?? couldn't be me

this is the definition of bi panic "jesper restrained a grin" bitch we saw that

btw i love the slow burn

like they hint something here but they don't actually start liking each other until much later and they don't get together until almost the end of ck

i also love that the fact that they both like guys is like out in the open now. bc i'm not a fan of when queer characters have a crush and there's the whole thing of "are they queer too or not?"

like they both know htey are queer. but they don't get together right away bc they have to start liking each other before. they don't get together bc they are the only queer mlm characters

matthias fake betrayal killed me

i tought it was real

I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept fom this oath.

this is just-

also foreshadowing?

YAYY KUWEI HI

There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.

She's laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and got drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.

if i ever have a s/o and they don't tell me this at least once i don't want it

He needed to tell her... what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himslef together into some smeblance of a man for her

THIS

THIS IS LOVE RIGHT THERE

they are the only straight couple that matters

everyone else go home

Wylan had scratches all over his cheeks and neck. He was beaming. Inej grabbed his hands and sqeezed.

so cute omg

"You can explain why our illustrious Shu scientist looks like one of Wylan's school pals along the way"

KAZ

i mean it's true but you didn't have to say it

KAZ IS SMILING OMG

EVERYONE FREAK OUT WITH ME

HE'S "grinning like and idiot" STOP I LOVE HIM

"We are all someone's mosnter, Nina"

"I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all"

this part breaks my heart and i love it

"Stay," she oanted. Tears leaked from her eyes. "Stay till the end"

"And after," he said. "And always."

i just- helnik is perfect

AWWW JESPER MISSES WYLAN

my daily dosis of wesper :)

ok but in like 2 pages jesper tought of wylan like 10 times bc he's sad wy isn't with him

Jesper scanned the empty deck. He's assumed Wylan would come up to see them off. (...)

Jesper knew he was being selfish and stupid, but some petty part of him wondered if Wylan had deliberately kept away from him on the journey back. Maybe now that the job was complete and he was on his way to his share of the haul, Wylan was done slumming with criminals.

*charles boyle's insinuating voice* and why do you care so much???

btw YOU ARE WRONG. HE'S LITERALLY GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T SPEAK

this scene where we find out the truth about wylan hurts so much but it's one of my favourites idk why

I LOVE THAT EVERYONE IS AS MAD AS I AM ABOUT THE LETTERS NOW

"Your're a fool," Jesper snarled. "He smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."

YES TELL HIM

the fact that wylan just heard him say that omg

"Deserved" amended Van Eck. He blew the whislte twice.

SOMEONE BETTER GRAB ME BEFORE I KILL HIM MYSLEF

THAT IDIOT

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

I'M GONNA CRY CAN SOMEONE KILL HIM FOR ME

Jesper screamed in rage and raised his guns.

YES EXACLTY WHAT I MEANT

JUST KILL HIM RIGHT NOW

"I'm not big on bludding, am I Inej?"

"Not as a rule"

Van Eck's lip curled. "And why is that?"

"Because he'd rather cheat," said the boy who was not Kuwei Yul-Bo in perfect, unaccented Kerch.

THIS WAS PERFECT

THE BEST WAY TO REVEAL THAT

(...), and Jesper flinched

baby he recognized wylan's voice

The Shu boy held out a hand. "Pay up, Kaz"

BITCH THIS IS AMAZING

THIS BOY MADE A BET WITH A CRIMINAL THAT HIS OWN FATHER WAS GOING TO TRY TO KILL HIM

AND HE WON THE BET

A nearly perfect replica of Kuwei Yul-Bo stood before them, but he had Wylan's voice, his mannerisms, and - though Kaz could see the fear and hurt in his golden eyes - Wylan's surprising courage, too.

i love it when they compliment him

my boy deserves all the compliments ever

AND KAZ IS PROUD OF HIS SON WE ALL KNOW THIS

Wylan cuold draw a perfectt elevation. He's made a drill that could cut throu Grisha glass from parts of a gate and scavenged bits of jewellery. So what if he couldn't read

this is taking me to some real places

i may cry you've been warned

WYLAN DIDN'T CARE THAT HE MAY BE STUCKED LOOKING LIKE KUWEI

this is making me cry

"A fool would have been waiting to be smashed to bits on that ship. And as for "traitor", you've called me worse in the last few minutes alone."

EXACTLY

YOU TELL HIM WYLAN

Instead, in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.

BABY

i would've done the same tho she's pretty

amita is sooo pretty i'm gonna die when the show comes out

Jesper was staring at Wylan, his eyes roving over the black hair, the golden eyes. "Why?" he said at last. "Why would you do this?"

nothing to say here except: wesper

You... how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I tought it was Kuwei?"

"Every time."

i want to cry so bad

"Why does it matter?"

"I don't know!" Jesper said angrily. "Maybe I liked your stupid face."

a very staright and platonic thing to say of course

i know jes we all liked his stupid face

"Jesper made a mistake," said Wylan. "A stupid mistake, but he didn't set out to betray anyone."

YES WYLAN DEFEND YOUR BOYFRIEND

And maybe he'd kept him in the dark about Wyllan because he wanted to punish him a little

even kaz know they like each other come on

Jesper sat with elbows on knees, head in hands. Wylan deside him wearing th face of a stranger.

wylan give him a hug fro me please

he needs it

"Scheming face," murmured Jesper.

"Definitely," agreed Wylan.

i miss inej already

And I'm going to get my girl. Inej could never be his, not really, but he would find a way to give her the freedom he´d promised her so long ago.

i'm ugly crying and so what?

and now we're done....

i want to read this book again omg this is unhealthy

#shadow and bone #s&b #six of crows #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #kaz brekker #grishaverse #inej gahfa #matthias helvar #nina zenik #freddy carter #kit young #amita suman #soc #helnik #kanej #wesper

[saanjhish]

Halloween; the one night you get to be someone else.

Since it's Halloween and I had prepared a Kanej fic about it days ago (but forgotten about it until an hour ago and then wrote in lightning speed) so here you go!! Happy Halloween <333

It was the time of the year when all of Kerch dressed up as whoever they wanted, pretended to be whoever they wanted. All of the world, really. It was the thirty-first day of the tenth month; Halloween. A holiday loved and enjoyed by all.

Who wouldn't when one was given the choice to be someone they admired for a day?

This year, Nina had pleaded Kaz to let them have a Halloween party. At first, he'd declined, but then Jesper joined her side and as did Inej, so he couldn't say no. And, though he would never admit it, he secretly wanted to throw a party as well; only among the Crows, of course.

Tonight was the night of the party. Inej wasn't sure it could be considered one though, since it was like their usual get together. Inej would come from the seas and Nina would come from Fjerda, along with her love Hanne -- no one could deny she had a thing for Fjerdans -- Kaz, Jesper and Wylan would be waiting for them at Fifth Harbour, Jesper and Wylan being all mushy and Kaz visibly regretting his existence.

days ago, Kaz had sent Inej a letter when she was at sea, freeing yet another group of innocents kidnapped by slavers.

"Dearest Inej,

Months ago, Nina had practically begged me for Halloween party and you had joined her pleading, due to which, I had no choice but to approve.

Now I am stuck in this puzzle of picking out what to wear to this supposed "party", my wardrobe consists only of hats, white and black shirts, black suits and ties. I need your help.

yours only,

Kaz."

What a dramatic man, Inej thought as she wrote a letter back.

"Dearest Kaz,

do not fret, meri jaan, I shall come to your rescue soon enough. With a surprise <3

yours treasure,

Inej."

Now she was standing in Kaz's office, holding a dark-blue lehenga and waistcoat and a dark-purple dupatta, the colours similar to the outfit Inej wore when in Ketterdam, and some knives and daggers. She herself was dressed in a black kurta with white embroidery on the cuffs and black pants, black shoes with thick heels this time, and a white dupatta hanging off her right shoulder and tied to the left side of her waist. Her outfit's colours were the same as any of Kaz's. Her hands were covered in black leather gloves similar to his and held a crow cane, also similar to his, but not the same obviously.

"Seriously?" he asked, understanding what Inej had meant by "surprise." His brows rose in what looked like disapproval, but was really amusement--Inej could tell by the way his eyes were lit with the same and how the ghost of a smile haunted the very lips that never stopped scowling.

"I know it's cheesy, but it's fun. Halloween is the one day we get to be someone else, be truly free and not have a tough exterior that is needed for survival. The one day we get to actually live, Kaz." Inej said, tilting her to slightly to the left. Kaz could see how much this meant to her and had already considered the thought in his mind countless times when Inje said her next words. "I'd like to be someone special to me, close to my heart. You, Kaz. You."

You, Kaz. You. It reminded him of the first time he'd let himself have thoughts of Inej that were of more than the friendship they'd achieved but something more. Something they'd achieved now.

Inej had shrugged nonchalantly. Shrugged as though the last two sentences didn't have Kaz's heart racing faster than Jesper could shoot at the target. Faster than Nina could some up with a sarcastic one-liner. Faster than Wylan could work his magic and make a bomb. Faster than Inej could blend into the shadows and disappear. Faster than he could steal a wallet. Faster than Matthias used to deem him a "demjin."

Those two sentences let his heart have a control over his words instead of his mind. And then. faster than the speed of light, he answered, Only for you, 'Nej. The smile that lit up Inej's face was as beautiful as the feeling one would get when rain would gently patter against the windows.

Or when kruge and Kaz's hands came in contact.

No.

No, the beauty of her smile could not be matched by anything but her and her soul, for she held the truest beauties of this world.

And if only four words from his mouth could bring that smile on her face and enhance her beauty even further, hen he would not refrain from saying those words again and again, and a million times again, even in the slightest.

And so, the two went to the get together, dressed in the traditional wear of where Inej came from, both representing the other's daily outfits, and announced their engagement to the Crows, which hadn;t seemed to be much of a surprise to them. Kaz had kept his gloves on and his crow-cane in hand, apologized to Inej for not being able to let the two go--she'd said she understood and didn't want him to feel uncomfortable, that there was no need for apologies--and though he'd gotten teased several times, it was all worth it.

He'd do it over and over again if it meant seeing that wonderful smile on Inej's face, getting kohl applied to his lower lids and learning more about Inej as she told him where she kept her knives and daggers and what the reason was behind the placement. If it meant seeing her happy, he'd do every ridiculous thing one could ever think of.

And who would've thought, it didn't feel so ridiculous by the end of it all. Kaz loved every moment, just as much as he did Inej and always would.

#halloween #happy halloweeeeeeen #kanej fic #kanej fluff #kanej my beloved #halloween fic

[rainandhotchocolate]

Unexpected

A/N Merry christmas to Australians and NZ-enders! For the rest of ya, hope your holidays are going well :)) If not, here’s a fic to read on the toilet whislt ignoring your family xx this is my first grishaverse fic so pls be kind I don’t think I’ve quite gotten the characterisation yet but also I need to write like 4 in the next two days so WELP 

Kaz brekker x reader

Y/N twirled around, her skirt swishing out in a circle around her. Nina cheered loudly, Jesper grinning beside her as they leaned against the small table sitting in the small house. She was wearing a deep blue dress that hugged tightly to her curvy frame, hanging earrings that had matching blue gems sitting in a large curling silver tree. Nina had coloured her cheeks and given a soft glow to her skin and had made her hair shine a little brighter than normal. It wasn’t much, but it was the first time in a long time that Y/N had felt somewhat pretty again, and was definitely better than the peasant pants and army boots that made her feel like a small boy.

“Well Kaz is going to be confused for sure,” Nina winked at her but Y/N just rolled her eyes. It was no secret that Y/N liked to annoy Kaz by flirting incessantly, but a little more hidden was the fact that Y/N had developed a small and irritating crush on him ever since he’d inducted her into the small group after the heist, given Nina’s… inability to leave the house.

“Honestly, I’m a little confused myself,” Jesper smiled slyly, moving over to the hallway to call Kaz up. He’d been told to disappear for thirty minutes whilst they got Y/N ready. Kaz had been frustrated at first, and was very close to telling them to fuck off but Mattias had stepped in to tell him to let Nina do at least one thing to distract herself.

The familiar clicking of Kaz’s cane could be heard coming up the corridor, his growling face moving into the kitchen area.

“Are we ready?” Kaz’s eyes scrolled up and down Y/N’s outfit and Y/N winked at him.

“Like what you see?”

“It’ll do. Do we need to go over this again?” Kaz raised an eyebrow at her and Y/N huffed.

“I do remember the very small task you asked from me.”

“Just bat your pretty eyes and get me my information, let’s go.” Kaz turned around on the spot and limped towards the front door.

“I guess I’m off,” Y/N turned to Nina and Jesper, “No mourners.”

“No funerals,” they called back, Nina giggling softly as Y/N adjusted her breasts slightly so that they sat higher in her dress and eyes glittering.  

Nina had found her in Ketterdam, begging for money on the side of the street wearing a destroyed Ravka army uniform about a year ago, and had helped her find work with some of the lower downs in Kaz’s crew. She hadn’t heard from Nina in months, but had gotten a letter telling her to meet a the edge of town and wear a costume. Kaz had known who she was, though Y/N had been surprised that he’d ever noticed her given that she was normally in the casino wearing a tight-fitting golden dress and bringing drinks over to handsy businessmen. It was because of this that she would be good for the job, she knew how to get in and out of a casino unnoticed and definitely knew how to get a guy to follow her around a room.

Kaz and Y/N sailed towards the main canal in Ketterdam, wearing Mister Crimson and The Lost Bride outfits over their clothes. It was loud amongst the canals, tourists blustering around the cobblestone streets wearing almost nothing against the cool evening air. They moved surreptitiously towards the casinos, Kaz ducking his head every few metres when he spotted someone he knew wandering along the streets. The plan was simple enough, Y/N was an unknown in relation to Kaz and was one of the crows who could safely move around the streets without someone alerting the Stadwatch.

They glided underneath a bridge where Kaz looped a large a rope attached to the boat to the small entry point to the sewer system underneath the casino’s where Kaz would wait. He said nothing as they stepped out, Y/N stripping off The Lost Bride costume and holding her hands out to show him the outfit once more.

“Look good enough to seduce a guard?”

“He always goes for the girls with larger chests, so – “ Kaz cut himself off as he gestured towards Y/N’s chest. Y/N grinned and pulled her dress down a little more, revealing a bit more of herself.

“Better?”

“I better not regret involving you.” Kaz hissed, somewhat to himself, staring at the giggling girl in front of him.

“Let’s not underestimate the pretty ones, Brekker,” Y/N pouted and hoped back into the small boat. “I’ll see you soon!”

She waved a little over exaggeratedly and watched as Kaz shook his head before turning back to the canal and where she needed to dock to join the flock of tourists. She smiled brightly at one of the guards who was tying boats and helping guests out of the boats, deliberately pointing towards the Emerald Palace to try and filter tourists towards Pekka’s casino.

“Thanks so much!” Y/N cooed, smiling up at the guard who held out a hand for her, “Would you mind keeping an eye on that boat? I’d love to make sure I have one to get me safely home.”

“Of course, Miss,” The guard nodded his head, clearly glancing at her overfull bosom.

“Oh, thank you!” Y/N gripped onto his arm softly and walked away from him, turning back to give him a small wave over her shoulder. He was still watching her, blinking a little dazedly.

She moved quickly through the crowd, a little unsteady on her heels, heading towards the Silver Sun casino where Kaz had said Van Eck’s head guard spent his Saturday nights getting drunk and stalking the easiest girls in the club. Tonight, that would be Y/N.

She wasn’t questioned as she made her way inside, heading straight to the bar to get a drink, sans alcohol, not that it would look like that. She sat at the bar casually, watching over the crowd, scanning for the man Jesper and Kaz had described to her over and over again. Spotted. The large man, grey beard and pot belly with a small gold earring on his right ear and a booming laugh was sitting at a table to her right, holding a set of cards in his hands. Y/N prepared herself, shaking up her hair slightly and sipping some of her drink before stumbling towards the table, a drunken smile playing on her lips.

“Whose winning over here?” She slurred a little loudly, leaning over the edge of the table so that her breasts were in the corner of the Guards eyeline.

“That would be me,” He gave her a sly smile, “But I could use a bit more luck?”

“That’s what I’m here for, lovely,” Y/N bit her lip, giving him a very obvious once over and sitting down in his lap.

They spoke intermittently for a few minutes as the guard continued to play, looping his arm around her waist at one point, his greasy hands sliding against the soft dress.

“I want another drink,” Y/N pouted, “Can we get some more?”

“Of course,” the guard grinned at the men around the table, “We’ll be back soon.”

“Sure thing,” The man to his right winked back, taking his cards back as Y/N and the guard stood up and headed towards the bar.

“What would you like, beautiful?”

“Champagne!” Y/N giggled, pushing her chest upwards and hands behind her back.

“Done,” the guard ordered and handing her a glass of champagne that was very full. Y/N sipped it softly and smiled up at him.

“So, what does someone as fit as you do? Surely something brave and heroic.” Y/N slurred a little, feeling up his arm and gripping softly on his bicep.

“I’m a guard, for a very powerful man in the city,” He bragged, looming over her with a creeping smile.

“Who!’ Y/N widened her eyes and pretended to look impressed, “Come on, you have to tell me.”

“Ahh I don’t know.”

Y/N pouted, pressing herself up against the guards chest and looking up at him.

“Please…” She batted her eyelids and he grinned at her. He leaned down and pressed his lips to her ear. Y/N supressed a shudder.

“Mr Van Eck,” he whispered softly, clearly trying to be seductive.

“Wow,” Y/N bit her lip as he pulled away. “You must have done some amazing things! You know, if you buy us a room, I’d love to hear some stories.”

Y/N kept herself pressed against him and could feel his breathing increasing steadily.

“Well I am currently his most trusted guard.”

Y/N gasped, creeping an arm around his waist.

“I do love important men, they always know how to treat a lady.”

It was as if he couldn’t help himself, stuttering over words as Y/N moved her hands slowly across his back.

“I’m currently entrusted with ensuring the safety of his wife,” He whispered again, smiling as she bit her lip once more.

“You care for his wife! Mmm a soft side huh?” Y/N licked her lower lip softly, keeping her eyes on the man in front of her.

“You know I’ve got a place just around the corner…” The guard started to guide her towards the front door before Y/N had even replied, keeping up her pretence of stumbling as they made their way back out into the street. Y/N gripping tightly onto his arm and giggling every time she bumped into him.

“Oh wait, wait, I think I’m going to be sick.” Y/N stumbled sideways and away from the guard once they had stepped outside the tourist crowds and towards a small alleyway to her right.

“We shouldn’t wait here, it’s not safe for a girl like you,” the guard tried to pull her back to him but she moved sideways and stumbled forwards, pretending to lean over the wall of the alley way. The guard huffed, clearly annoyed at the detour but followed her off the main road. Bad move, Y/N thought, rolling her eyes as Kaz began limping out of the shadows and towards the man who still had his eyes on Y/N.

His cane whipped out and slammed into the guards knees, his body hitting the ground hard. Kaz moved over, looming over him, his preferred position over his enemies. He was still wearing the Mister crimson outfit but Y/N had winced when she saw the cane, closing her eyes. They had told him again and again that it was too obvious, but he’d refused to give it up, holding it tight to his body now like a hardened security blanket.

Y/N could see a flash of recognition in the guard’s eyes when he realised he wasn’t just being mugged, but he was being mugged by Kaz Brekker, his expression turning from fear to excitement.

“Look who we have here! The cripple king himself.” The guard struggled to move backwards and out of Kaz’s reach, sitting back against the alleyway wall. Y/N kept her pretence of fear, cowering back into the shadows as Kaz stalked his prey.

“Are you missing your pretty little spider?” Y/N could sense Kaz’ anger flaring when he mentioned Inej, still prisoner to Van Eck, and Kaz’ one failure. In Kaz’s momentary lapse of concentration the guard had pulled out a knife and swiped into the air, cutting across the front of Kaz’s body.

Kaz stumbled backwards and towards Y/N, which confused her more than anything. The knife was small and would have barely touched him, let alone give enough force to push him backwards. The guard stood up as Y/N stumbled sideways, shrieking loudly as she moved out of Kaz’s way, hiding behind the guard. She poked her head out from behind him, looking over at where Kaz was cradling his… glove? Fuck.

His glove had been slashed completely open, his right hand now completely bare against the cool Ketterdam evening.

“Pathetic,” The guard spat, “What kind of mastermind are you?”

“The kind with an accomplice.” Y/N slammed her knee in between the guards legs, pulling her hand around the front of his face when he was doubled over and pulling him backwards and away from Kaz before slamming his head against the stone wall. The guard slid softly down the wall, unconscious.

Y/N leaned down and rummaged through the guards coat, pulling out two sets of keys and hanging them in front of Kaz.

“These what you needed?”

“I didn’t need your help,” He hissed, jamming his right hand into his pocket. “This is ten times more conspicuous than the original plan.”

“That plan wasn’t going to work since you refused to leave your cane,” Y/N hissed back, pocketing the keys, “And a simple thank you would suffice.”

She rubbed her hands against her dress and checked on the guard. He was out cold, hopefully, a concussion.

“How did you know how to do that?” Kaz said after a moment, his face contorted as if it hurt to ask.

“Not that you ever asked, but I was in the second army. I know how to fight.” Y/N shrugged, handing Kaz his cane back which he’d dropped when his glove had been slashed. Y/N never asked about why he was always covered, but it wasn’t hard to guess that it had something to do with his bare skin against, well, anything. Great person to have a thing for.

“Right.” Kaz was still staring at her. It was a new stare, his head crooked to one side, eyebrows furrowed as he looked at her.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Kaz murmured, lowering his gaze, “Let’s get back.”

When they arrived back at the house, everyone was still awake and sitting around the table. Nina was biting her nails as Mattias rubbed circles on her back. Jesper was practising cards by himself whilst Wylan watched him, calling out his mistakes every few minutes. They all looked up when Kaz and Y/N entered.

“So?”

“What happened to your glove?”

“You destroyed your dress!”

“Did we get the keys?”

“Can I not come home to peace for once,” Kaz growled, moving straight inside and towards the bedroom.

“No!” Nina called to him as he passed, “Y/N, what happened?”

“Well basically, I saved his life and now he is indebted to me forever.”

“Oh man, I need to hear about Kaz needing saving please.” Jesper begged, holding out his hands to her, “I will do anything, ANYTHING!”

“You all need to calm down,” Kaz had returned, a new glove on his right hand and his composure returned. “If anything she ruined half the plan.”

“Oh, you’re just jealous that I got the keys and you didn’t.”

“You got the keys instead of him?” Mattias looked impressed, though Y/N was sure it was just because he was desperate to take Kaz down a peg. Kaz scowled at him and Jesper snorted with laughter.

“I wish I could have seen Kaz’s face! Please tell me you absolutely destroyed the guard,” Jesper was sitting upon his seat, grinning mischievously.

“Knocked unconscious by yours truly.” Y/N bowed low.

“You’ve got to teach me some time,” Nina shook her head, “I never got into training with the second army back home.”

“You knew?” Kaz narrowed his eyes at Nina, “You didn’t think to mention she could fight?”

“I prefer to subvert your expectations,” Nina winked at him. “Come on tell us what happened.”

Y/N launched into the story, over exaggerating every so often to Kaz’s annoyance. The crows looked impressed by the end of the story, Kaz staring at her in the same confusing expression as he leaned against the kitchen counter.

“Well I know who I’m picking for partner next time around,” Nina leaned into Mattias, who was now playing softly with her hair.

Y/N blew her a kiss, turning back to Kaz.

“Here are the keys, I’m going to wash myself and go to bed because I am covered in drool.” Y/N bid them farewell and started to get ready for bed. It wasn’t until she had been laying in bed, wide awake, for over an hour that she heard a soft knocking on the door.

“Come in.” She called, sitting up in bed, leaning on the back wall where the cot was pushed up against. Kaz was standing in the doorway when it opened, his cane tapping against the side of the door frame. Y/N raised an eyebrow when he walked in slowly, closing the door behind him.

It wasn’t like they hadn’t spent time alone before, but he’d never come into her bedroom just as she would never dare enter his (though part of her wondered if he had trophies of all his enemies hanging up in there).

He didn’t say anything for a second, sitting in the small chair by her bed and pursing his lips.

“I just… wanted to say thank you.” He spoke softly, kinder than Y/N was used to. “For helping me.”

Y/N was momentarily shocked. Kaz wasn’t looking at her, rolling the cane around in his hands.

“Of course.” Y/N wanted to say more, ask if he was ok, what had happened to him. But she knew he wasn’t ready for that, if anything it would just push him back into the closet. “Anytime.”

Kaz lifted his head momentarily and gave her what looked like a smile.

“Sleep well.” He left the room slowly, turning back to look at her once before he left and the room was once again plunged into darkness.

Taglist: @maraudersandco  @hermionie-is-my-queen @gollyderek

#Rainandhotchocolate #kaz x reader #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz x you #six of crows imagine #six of crows fic

[dregstrash]

“Never gonna give you up.” + Jesper x Awful 80s hair. That’s my song and ship request.

This ask has dark, chaotic energy and I Am Here For It

You wouldn't get this from any other guy

“Please, saints, Jesper, I am begging you not to do it. There’s still time to change.” Wylan’s pleas were getting tiresome. And if if only he could truly see what Jesper saw, then maybe he’d enjoy it.

“Oh c’mon, don’t tell me you don’t love this.” Jesper made a motion. First gesturing to the pin striped purple and pink trousers he wrangled out from some thrift shop, up to the the plain puffed out shirt he wore, and then to the matching vest. 

“Jes, there’s not enough hours in the day to get me to try to explain your outfit. I’m talking about your hair.” Wylan groaned. Unlike Jesper, his boyfriend was dressed in usual cardigan and button-up-- not appropriate for one of Nina’s epic parties. 

“What’s wrong with my hair?” Jesper said incredulously looking in their hallway mirror. 

He turned his head this way and that, glad that he spent a little extra on that gel as it kept the sides of his hair firmly pressed down while also giving his longer curls the bounce they deserve. The hairspray was holding up fairly well, his coif still perfectly molded and not a hair out of place.

Wylan grabbed him by the shoulders. This was the serious he’s ever seen him-- and he was definitely counting that one time Kaz had suspiciously asked him for the components to a detonator.

“You. Are. Wearing. A. Mullet.” Wylan shook him after each word, and Jesper couldn’t help but laugh.

“Some things are going back in fashion you know.” He said patting his hands down the sides of head.

“Sure,” Wylan said letting him go, “Like high-rise jeans, platform shoes, eighties music. But mullets were a mistake then. And they are a mistake now.”

“Ah, you’re cute when you get so riled up. Can we go now? Because as much fun as I love arguing with you about nothing, I would prefer actually being at the party.”

Wylan cast one last dismayed look at the person he has decided to love, and grabbed his coat.

-

“Jesper really embraced this whole decades thing.” Nina said as she came up at Wylan’s side.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Wylan grumbled as he watched Jesper dance with several people. His vest sparkling brightly under the lights, and the monstrosity of a mullet on display for all to see. 

#jesper fahey #wylan van eck #wylan van sunshine #Wylan x Jesper #six of crows #soc #crooked kingdom #ck #omg this is so short #but also i love this ask

[sagexbrush]

This is a playlist of songs that goes along with the six of crows book, pretending that six of crows is a TV show and what songs they’d play to what parts.

so I saw this done somewhere with the foxhole court and wanted to give it a go! If you were the creator of that post (I can’t for the life of me find it) just send me a message and I’ll totally give you credit for the inspiration. I just really couldn’t help myself from doing this with Six of Crows. Enjoy!

intro. railroad track by willy moon. yeah ‘cause i’ma go down on a railroad track and i ain’t going back and no i ain’t going back.

 kaz defeats geels. wires by the neighborhood. “you’ll get what’s coming to you one day brekker.”/ “i will,” said kaz, “if there’s any justice in the world. and we all know how likely that is.”( page 32) the wires got the best of him all that he invested in goes straight to hell.

 kaz accepts the deal. wicked ones by dorothy. “you’ve seen what this drug can do. i can assure you it is just the beginning. if jurda parem is unleashed on the world, war is inevitable. our trade lines will be destroyed, and our markets will collapse. kerch will not survive it. our hopes rest with you mr.brekker. if you fail, all the world will suffer for it.” / “oh it’s worse that that, van eck. if i fail, i don’t get paid.”(page 57) ain’t no sleep when the wicked play

 kaz walks through the barrel. lone digger by caravan palace. “the buildings of the barrel were different from anywhere else in ketterdam, bigger, wider, painted in every garish color, clamoring for attention from passerby – “ (page 69) your head has no right to say no, tonight it’s ‘ready set go!’

 matthias fights the wolves. stronger than ever by  raleigh ritchie. “but kaz hadn’t lied: matthias was much changed. the boy who looked back the crowd with fury in his eyes was a stranger.” (page 90) ‘cause i’m a big boy an adult now, well nearly, if i pull the wool back from my eyes i can see clearly.

 nina and matthias reunite. do i wanna know?by  artic monkeys. “her eyes filled with tears. ‘shhhh matthias. we’re here to get you out.” before she could blink he had hold of her shoulders and had pinned her to the ground. / “nina,” he growled. then his hands closed over her throat. (page 99) crawling back to you. ever thought of calling when you’ve had a few? cause i always do.

 jesper and wylan team up. panic station by muse. “close your eyes!”/ “you can’t kiss me from down there, wylan.”/ “just do it!”/ “this better be good!”/ he shut his eyes. “are they closed?/ “damn it wylan yes they’re – “ there was a shirll shrieking howl, and then bright light bloomed behind jesper’s lids. when it faded, he opened his eyes. below, he saw men blundering around, rendered blilnd by the flash bomb wylan had set off. but jesper could see perfectly. not bad for a mercher’s kid. (page 147) ooo 1 2 3 4 fire’s in your eyes, and this chaos it defies imagination.

 inej is stabbed. cold arms by mumford and sons. one night, as he’d passed her in the parlor, she’d done a foolish thing, a reckless thing. “i can help you,” she’d whispered. he’d glanced at her, then proceeded on his way as if she’d said nothing at all. the next morning, she’d been called to tante heleen’s parlor. she’d been sure another beating was coming or worse, but instead kaz brekker had been standing there, leaning on his crow-head cane, waiting to change her life. / “i can help you,” she said now. / “help me with what?” (page 153) but i know what’s on your mind, god knows i put it there.

 kaz kills oomen. beast by nico vega. kaz leaned in so that no one else could hear when he said, “my wraith would counsel mercy. but thanks to you, she’s not here to plead your case.” without another word, he tipped oomen into the sea. (page 159) stand tall for the beast of america, lay down like a naked dead body.

 matthias gives nina the cup. blood bank by bon iver. “but a short while later the druskelle returned with a tin cup and bucket of clean water. he’d set it down inside the cell and slammed the bars shut without another word. (page 171) well i met you at the blood bank, we were looking at the bags, wondering if any of the colors matched any of the names we knew on the tags.

 inej is sold to tante heleen. killer by phoebe bridgers. “she’d turned away to barter with the sailers as inej stood there, clutching her bound hands over her chest, her blouse still open, her skirt still hiked around her waist. jump she’d thought. whatever waits at the bottom of the side is better than where this woman is taking you. (page 190) can the killer in me tame the fire in you?

 kaz tells inej about his brother. long way down by tom odell “what do you want then?”/ the old answers came easily to mind. money. vengeance. jordie’s voice silenced in my head forever. but a new reply roared to life inside him, loud, insistent, and unwelcome. you, inej. you.(page 205) she stands on a ledge says, it looks so high. you know, it’s a long way down.

 nina and matthias begin to trust each other. first day of my life by bright eyes. “there was a long pause and then he said, ‘i thought about it. just for a second.’ nina laughed./ ‘it’s okay,’ she said at last, ‘i would’ve thought about it too.’. he got to his feet and offered her his hand. /‘i’m matthias.’/ ‘nina,” she said, taking it. ‘nice to meet your acquaintance.’ (page 241) this is the first day of my life. swear i was born right in the doorway.

 jordie dies and dirtyhands is born. a rush of blood to the head by coldplay he’d heard there were sharks in these waters, but he knew they wouldn’t touch him. he was a monster now too. (page 276) because i’m gonna buy this place and see it burn, do back the things it did to you in return.

 inej climbs up the incinerator shaft. shake it out by florence + the machine. she wanted a storm – thunder, wind, a deluge. she wanted it to crash through ketterdam’s pleasure houses, lifting roofs and tearing doors off their hinges. she wanted it to raise the seas, take hold of every slaving ship, shatter their masts, and smash their hulls against unforgiving shores. i want to call that storm, she thought. (page 311) and i am done with my graceless heart, so tonight i’m going to cut it out and then restart.

 inej and kaz on the roof. run by daughter. “if we don’t survive the night, i will die unafraid kaz. can you say the same?” his eyes were nearly black, the pupils dilated. she could see it took every last bit of his terrible will for him to remain still beneath her touch. and yet, he did not pull away. she knew it was the best he could offer. it was not enough. (page 334) and if i try to get close, he is already gone.

 jesper fights the grisha. human by rag’n’bone man. he wasn’t a good fabrikator, but they didn’t expect him to be a fabrikator at all. he thrust his hands forward, and bits of metal flew from his uniform, a gleaming cloud that hung in the air for the briefest second then shot toward the tidemakers. (page 388) i’m only human after all, don’t put the blame on me.

 matthias opens the door to nina’s cell. i want to love you by lenachka. she ran to him, and he swept her up into his arms. he buried his face in her hair. she felt his lips move against her ear when he said, “i never want to see you like this again. / “do you mean the dress of the cell? / a laugh shook him. “definitally the cell.” (page 389) i want to love you, the corner’s of your heart no one’s been to.

 kaz rescues nina and matthias. immigrant song by led zeppelin “this is going to sting a bit,” said the druskelle holding the whip. his voice was rasping, familiar. his hands were gloved. “but if we live, you’ll thank me later.” his hood slid off, and kaz brekker looked back at them. (page 397) we come from the land of ice and snow from the midnight sun

 kaz is drowning. open your eyes by andrew belle “but all he could think of was inej. she had to live. she had to to have made it out of the ice court. and if she hadn’t, then he had to live to rescue her. the ache in his lungs was unbearable. he needed to tell her… what? that she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. that he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn’t pull himself together into some semblance of a man for her. (page 403) she’ll be a star now, i will follow her lead. she’ll be a scar now, i will still let her bleed all over me.

 jesper wylan and inej acquire a tank. legendary by welshly arms. wylan clutched his middle, still snorting lafter. trailing behind them was a banner, caught in the tank’s treads. despite the smears of mud and gunpowder burns, inej could still make out the words: strymakt fjerdan. fjerdan might. (page 414) cause we’re gonna be legends, gonna get their attention.

 nina takes parem. believer by imagine dragons. nina flexed her fingers, and the druskelle dropped their rifles, hands going to their heads, screaming in pain. “for my country,” she said. “for my people. for every child you put to the pyre. reap what you’ve sown, jarl brum.” (page 426) and it rained down, it rained down like – pain.

 kaz asks inej to stay. million reasons by lady gaga “i will have you without armor, kaz brekker. or i will not have you at all.” speak, she begged silently. give me a reason to stay. for all his selfishness and cruelty, kaz was still the boy who had saved her. she wanted to believe he was worth saving too. the sails creaked. the clouds parted for the moon and then gathered back around her. inej left kaz with the wind howling and dawn still a long while away. (page 434) i’ve got a hundred million reasons to walk away, but i just need one good one to stay.

 nina starts to go through withdrawals. 5am by amber run. “stay,” she panted. tears leaked from her eyes. “stay til the end.” / “and after,” he said. “and always.” and you don’t know how to feel until the moment’s passed. i wish you’d live like you’re made of glass.

 van eck goes back on his deal/kaz goes to pekka rollins for help. seven devils by florence + the machine. “none of you will leave this island, mister brekker. all of you will vanish, and nobody will care.” (page 446) seven devils all around you, seven devils in my house.

#six of crows #six of crows playlist #soc #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #matthias helvar #nina zenik #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #playlist #soc playlist #Sage playlists

[confused-as-all-hell]

Nina Zenik's trade was love.

Her lips were the colour of teenage breakups, her eyelids dusted dreamy gold. Her kisses tasted like melting chocolate, and the touch of her bare hands was wildfire, burning, destruction. Within a cage of ribbon and bone, her heart wept for quiet.

Her smile could have set the world aflame.

Nina had ridden desire until her body gave out, had slept with infatuation in her bed, had risen to the prying hands of lust. She had never known gentle touches or warm butterfly lips; men and women both saw her body, saw an opportunity, a conquest.

She loved, my god, she loved.

But nobody had ever loved her.

Some tried; they took her to quaint little cafes and pretty sparkling monuments, but her laugh was too bright, her grin too wide, she was too much to be managed.

Her friends did their best to cheer her, and their kindness was often her lifeline, but Inej’s comforting hand never struck out, and Kaz’s vicious mind never bent towards anything but his studies, and Jesper was too busy with his boyfriend for more than a friendly hello.

Nina had never expected them to wage her wars, but some little, nagging part of her mind longed to be fought for.

So when she met Matthias Helvar, she hated him.

He was gentle, kind, waited on her opinion, halted before kissing her fingertips. His warmth, she thought with breathtaking terror, was just a ruse.

No person on the entire fucking Earth could romantically love her.

She knew that her giggles were just too raucous, and her body too curved, and her wit could have cleaved the moon. She knew she was too much, and she knew she wasn't enough.

When she was studying, when she was jesting, when she was laying on top of Matthias' broad frame, the vines crept in.

When she heard him sneer at a young woman, when she heard him degrade her, their, rights, those tangling vines nearly fucking strangled her.

For the first time in her life, Nina fell silent. The stars spun before her eyes. The ocean was in her ears. The hatred and bewilderment clouded her lungs.

When she mentioned it to Kaz, he only frowned. "Helvar isn't known for his humanity," he said fairly.

Nina didn’t shake. She didn’t sob. She didn’t bury her face in her hands and weep.

She was still Nina Zenik, and she would not lose her heart over a hateful boy.

She only turned to Kaz, seated at her desk, and Inej, cross-legged on the bed, and Jesper, sprawled on the floor.

And Nina did what she had forsworn eight years ago.

She begged.

They were good to her, her friends.

They worked quietly and quickly, abandoning their piles of homework to soothe her furious heart, ditching their responsibilities for her anger.

It was their love she clung to when red flashed before her eyes.

Yes, she cared for Matthias, more than she ever wanted to admit.

But she was proud to be a female, and prouder still to be a feminist. She refused to dissolve her values for a few hours of sex.

They worked through the dregs of night, and when the first wisps of sunlight spun around the stars, Nina at last sat back.

Later that day, Matthias Helvar was expelled.

She had been staring at his back during one of their lectures, silent silent silent, as Inej squeezed her hand tight.

When the announcement came, all she felt was a bitter surge of terror.

The look on his face, the misery and humiliation and awful bewilderment, it would fucking haunt Nina forever.

He turned to her, eyes full of hope. "I was with you that day," he said softly. "You know I didn't."

Matthias, bold and kind and gentle, the god of burnished gold, a saviour like none she had ever known. His kisses tasted of salvation, his laugh sounded of redemption.

And fuck if the pain on his face didn't break her damn heart.

I'm wrong I'm wrong I'm wrong.

For just a second, Nina wondered if she had acted too harshly. But the image of the girl, sobbing into into her hands, screaming she was worthless and awful and didn’t deserve to be called human….

“I am so sorry, Matthias,” Nina said softly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Months later, Nina still dreamt about the hopeless look in his eyes, the way he would pick her up and kiss her neck, how his kindness was her tether.

Did she love him?

Yes.

She loved him, simply, bitterly, indomitably.

It felt like dying.

It felt like waking up in the middle of the night, heart hammering, and trying to shift the veil of sleep from your gaze because something's wrong, something's out of place, and fuck if it isn't a boy with pretty blue eyes.

It felt like searching for your oblivion in someone else's body, and their hands are too wide, and their breath too rough, and the fury that lights your bones aflame is too fucking much.

Nina was no stranger to heartbreak. Many, many boys had shattered her courage, her wit, her pride; she had built it up again, a fortress of red silk and crimson anger.

But to break someone else's heart, to dream of a guileless laugh like rumbling thunder, to think of his coffee order whenever Inej asked her what she wanted for breakfast, it was nearly too much to bear.

She tried to heal herself.

She tried changing her perfume and restyling her hair, tried shedding the skin of a rash, reckless woman, and dressed in the suitable tones of a graceful lady.

But a quiet life did not suit Nina Zenik.

The roar in her head could have broken queens. The hum of adventure in her veins moaned for one more taste. The tide of kindly words and gentle smiles were unfamiliar in her mouth.

Her friends always did their best to extend a hand, and it was due to Kaz's ability to hack the school website that her grades remained polished. It was thanks to Inej's quiet that Nina could breathe for just a bare second. It was put down to Jesper's raucous laugh that she clung to life.

How stupid, she told herself, to cry over a boy.

But she knew there was no shame in crying over a boy. It was natural to mourn a relationship, a missed opportunity, and it didn't make her less.

What she really meant was: How stupid, to cry over an awful person.

Was Matthias awful?

That remark, that stupidly bitter remark, was terrible, yes. But she in her indomitable fury had reacted so harshly.

Worse men than twenty-three-year-old Matthias Helvar had learned better. Couldn't he?

For a second, hope lifted her heart on the wind.

The very next morning, she hurried out to the center where Matthias was doing his penance, and she begged to speak with him.

When he stalked out, tall and breathtakingly handsome, aurete hair brushed back and glacier eyes gentle... fuck if she didn't lose her damned mind.

"Nina," he whispered, so softly, as if her name was his salvation.  As if they were back in the safety of her bedroom, bare among the silk sheets, limbs intertwined as he gasped for her to keep going, not to stop.

"Hello," she said shakily.

"Nina, my love," he said again, his words heavy with sorrow. “My sweet garden flower.”

Her joy rose like a crashing wave, and for just one second, it felt like she might conquer the entire fucking world.

"Matthias," she said, her voice strangely airless.

He rushed towards her, fingers reaching, and she dared to close her eyes. His calloused palms brushed against her bare throat.

"My darling," he murmured into the hollow of her ear. "Oh, Nina, why would you come here tonight?"

"Am I unwelcome?"

He laughed, but it was injected with something akin to misery. "You were always welcome, Nina. I never turned you away from my door. My bed was yours. My hands, yours. The key to my dorms hung around this pretty neck. When have I ever denied you houseroom?"

"I thought you might hate me," she admitted, still trembling. The idea seemed ridiculous now.

"Hate you?" Matthias echoed, thumb grazing her pulse point, pressing down gently. "My fucking god, Nina, I have detested you since the very moment you said my name in that damned lecture hall."

Her heart stuttered.

"Every aspect of your pretty fucking face," he whispered, still soft as if he was kneeling for his confessional, "reviles me. Your laugh, your grin, those little melodies even the birds cannot mirror. The way you write your birthday cards. The way you sat by while I was convicted for a crime I did not commit."

He kissed the corner of her mouth, light as a butterfly's wings. "Oh, my darling, but you knew. Was I so terrible to you? Did I not sing you to sleep and hold your hand and bring your spring blossoms?"

She tried to croak his name, but he ghosted a finger across her lips.

"I loved you, Nina Zenik," he said. "I love you still. But send me to fucking hell if I wouldn't drive a blade through your heart." He pressed his mouth to her own again, so delicate, so careful. "I thought you cared for me."

But Nina was beyond responses. She was dashed on the rocks, laying on the stretcher, amid the ashes of her ancestors.

"No?" said Matthias gently. "Very well, my sweet love. Go to your grave in my arms, as I went to heaven in yours."

His fingers brushed her lips, grazed the swell of her breasts, closed around her throat.

When Nina woke the next morning, it was to her own unmade bed. Her neck was so swollen, peppered in bruises and markings in the shape of broad fingertips. She could barely speak.

She didn't know if she would have, even if given the choice.

The words within her, the lovely ebb and flow of their comfort, had washed away with the tide at last.

Within a few days, the markings on her skin had nearly been scrubbed away, and the gasping pressure of her larynx had eased up enough for her to cry.

She felt like an untethered ship, bound for no shore, alone on the ocean with no hope of salvation. No matter how loud her desperate screams, there was no lighthouse beacon shining through the storm, no gentle arms to welcome her home.

Her tears fell like raindrops, pattering into her morning tea and onto the silk of her pillows, rolling down her face and staining her clothes with salt.

Inej tried to soothe the grief, and her grace was often enough to hold the hurricane at bay. She slept in Nina's bed, hands outstretched as if beseeching forgotten gods, the set of her delicate face troubled.

Kaz worked hard to keep her grades high, and he seemed to take her desk as his own, working there until the latest hours of night whenever Inej ran late. He was always there, irate and dry perhaps, but there.

Jesper, newly engaged to bright-as-the-stars Wylan Van Eck, could be counted on for mindless chatter and familiar jests.

It helped, of course it did.

But nothing filled the hole in her armor, the pride Matthias had so aptly destroyed.

Some people had thought of Nina's rage as a monster, a beast slithering through the night, a serpent prone to striking first and thinking later.

But she had loved that fury, loved her pride. It gifted her a defense against sneers and remarks and hatred. It had given a little girl with happy eyes a purpose, eighteen years ago.

Nina blazed like fire, lovely and breathtaking, but so many forgot that her flames were not just pretty. They were scalding, awful, burning hot to the touch.

And she had been fucking stupid enough to think Matthias could withstand the inferno.

And she had been fucking stupid enough to think Matthias could withstand the inferno.

It was ten months before she saw him again.

Nina was leaning over the counter at a little cafe, doing her best to remember her friends' orders, touching her fingers one by one.

A laugh, like the demanding rumble of a hurricane, crested over the cafe.

Her heart fucking stopped.

Matthias was seated at a rickety table, arms tucked behind his head. He was grinning at a boy seated across from him, one of the number who had snickered at his remark over that weeping girl, all that time ago.

He glanced to the side, laughter on his soft rosy lips, and caught glimpse of her.

It was too late to smooth her straight dark hair, or wish she had worn a ball gown instead of ripped jeans and one of Jesper's T-shirts.

It was far too late to do anything but stroll up to his table and lean across the wood.

"Aerts," she said with a click of her tongue, indicating the other boy. "Darling, and I thought your sad little gang provided good company?"

"No complaints," Aerts said with a roguish smile. "You look pretty enough to whine in my ear, though, Zenik. You fancy a tumble?"

There was a shuffle, and a loud thud, as if Matthias had swung his foot into Aerts' shin.

"Fuck off," Matthias said jerkily to her.

"I'd much rather get off," Nina said dispassionately.

His ears turned red. "You've grown more petulant than ever."

"You didn't mind my whining," she said airily.

A hand flashed in the air; Kaz, waving her over impatiently.

Nina waved to signal her understanding before turning back to the boys. "How about it, Helvar? For the sake of nostalgia. I'm going home with somebody tonight, might as well be you."

Aerts didn't seem offended she'd turned him down. On the contrary, he grinned shiftily at his friend. "Go on. It'll be fun."

They barely made it to an alleyway before Matthias was kissing her.

The sex was quick and rough and furious, bruised lips and roaming hands, gasping moans and clever fingers. It was Nina with her head thrown back against the wall, eyes fluttering like the wings of a dove. It was Matthias bent down over her, whispering I hate you I hate you I hate you as though the words were his litany.

When he knelt before her, the sun was in his skin, his hair, the brush of his tongue.

And suddenly they were in their first year again, learning to love and lose and grieve and gift.

He bought earrings shaped like little stars for her because he had seen the way her eyes lit up.

She left a bouquet of white lilies on his bed because he had once mentioned they were his favourite.

He kissed the curves of her body because he had seen the disgust which others regarded them with.

She let him cry on her shoulder the anniversary of his sister's death because it hurt it hurt it hurt.

But just like in their first year, they parted.

He would always be the boy with some semblance of poison in his heart.

She would always be the girl who was simply too much for anyone to love.

And if they met, again and again, in thrift shops and opulent restaurants and beaches and nightclubs, they could pretend it away. They could smile, wave, sleep at night with the memory of a sweet laugh ringing in their ears.

Maybe one day, another day, a kinder day, they met again.

Maybe this time, Nina would ask him to heal the hatred in his blood.

Maybe this time, Matthias would tell her why he had hurt that girl.

Maybe they would love each other anew, a spring blossom eager to flower again, an old oak tree strong enough to outwait the storm.

But for now, the blossom will wither and die every winter, and the tree will go gently to the hurricane.

For now, it is Matthias, the king of ice, Nina, the queen of fire.

For now, love is simply not enough.

#nina zenik #six of crows #matthias helvar #crooked kingdom #king of scars #rule of wolves #anyways i put this in someone's inbox but thought i would share anyways #here #sorry if it sucks #im so fuckin tired