#jiwoo really is best girl

[mirahuyooo]

Just a Dream | jhs

Just A Dream

— Dreams usually don’t elicit anything more than a laugh from you, but this one? This one really shakes you.

Word Count: 6,530 Contents: flUff, sWeAriNg, pinch of crACk, y/n has an emotional crisis over a recent discovery, jiwoo is tired of ur shit and takes matters into her own hands (best girl (∩^o^)⊃━☆<333), SO AWKWARD (ur both awkward lil shits HAWHAHS), (N/N) is nickname btw, best friends to lovers! AU Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Reader

[masterlist]

A/N: I HAVEN’T POSTED IN A WHILE BUT I’M BACK WITH A NEW NAME, A NEW THEME AND A NEW TALLY MARK ON ME SIMPING FOR JUNG HOSEOK <3 <3 <3 This be based on the concept of;

Rollover Reaction n. when your dream about someone you know skews how you feel about them all the next day, an emotion you are unable—and unwilling—to shake.

From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows! (bc im a dramatic lil bitch <3) I hope you guys enjoyed it! 

As always, feel free to send in requests or talk to me! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

“(Y/N)...”

Has your name always sounded this pretty in his voice like this?

Realizing just how little distance separates the two of you, you found it hard to breathe. He steals a glance on your lips, compelling a blush onto your cheeks as you do the same. You feel his forehead brush against yours, his fingers caressing your cheeks and moving forth to tuck a hair piece behind your ear.

Is this really happening?

His next words send tingles down your spine. 

“I have to tell you something...”

You wait in anticipation, heart beating against your chest. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him, the sunset making him glow ethereal.

His lips spread into a beautiful smile.

“Wake up.”

What?

Your eyes shot open just as your 7:00 AM alarm began echoing throughout your room. Heart racing wildly, you were already rendered wide awake before your mind could even register the loud alarm ringing through the energetic beat of Dionysus.

Usually, you’d wake up jamming to your best friend’s song, but this time, you were left in such a haze that the alarm started picking up again—a snooze option that you had set to activate every five minutes in any case the alarm fails to wake you up the first time around. 

Eventually, you did knock out of it a little, turning off the screaming device just as it was about to start for the third time.  

Your mind seemed to forget how to breathe properly, as it focused solely on directing your eyes over the sight of your phone’s wallpaper. It wasn’t anything new, really—just a picture of you and your best friend, Jung Hoseok. It was taken about a few months ago, when you had flown over to surprise him at a concert. His stage outfit was ethereal compared to your subpar straight-off-the-airport look. Bright, big smiles, however, reigned over both of your faces as your arms snaked around one another without a care in the world.

Looking at this picture has never elicited such a sensation in you before, but here you were, barely managing to breathe with your heart racing uncontrollably and your mind projecting images in your head persistently.

Breath-taking sunset. Heartfelt words. Fuzzy feelings. Lips inching clos—

“Nope!” you scold yourself, shaking your head profusely. A strangled noise between a groan and a screech leaves your lips as you bring a hand up to tap yourself on the cheeks. Turning your phone down on the cushion next to you, you heave yourself out of the comfort of your bed and into the bathroom. 

The water was cool on your face—a refreshing wakeup call. In the mirror, you looked a mess—your hair strewn about, your eyes puffy, and your body drowning beneath a large shirt. You force a tight-lipped smile. “It’s just a dream, silly,” you reasoned, in spite of your frantic heart. “Just a dream.”

 (Y/N), (Y/N), pick up the phone! It’s your hope, your angel, your Hobi!

You jolt at the sudden ring of your best friend’s voice through the air, rendering you to look around the room and wonder if someone had been spying on you to make you extra miserable today. In the distance was a ringtone he had recorded for you, now playing a funky little track he had made for the both of you. It was something you were shameless about, but now, you wanted to damn it for bringing back the redness to your cheeks. 

Making haste and returning to your bedroom, you could see the device vibrating on the bed where you had left it. Your phone was lit alive with the notification overlapping the wallpaper you had been gawking at moments before. 

Hobi Hobi is calling...

“Snap out of it,” you scolded yourself, as you hovered your thumb over to answer the call. At this point, you were forcing the retaliating part of you to cooperate over doing such a meager task. “C'mon,” you murmured under your breath. “Why are you like this?”

It felt like such a leap of faith to will yourself to move your finger on a swiping motion. Your heart remained wilding within you—a shock, considering the fact that it felt like it was just about ready to jump out and scream at you to acknowledge the infestation of feelings that was plaguing it.

“Hello?”

Hoseok’s voice snaps you out of your reverie, making you (figuratively) shove your heart down to the ground and muffle its battle cries. “Hey!” you beam with a stagger, a little too enthusiastically that you mentally slapped yourself for such a blunder. “How’s it going, Hoseok?”

Immediately, you wanted to smack yourself at the snag in your plan to get over your dream. hOSEOK??? Why would you call him Hoseok like that?!

Fortunately for your sanity, your best friend seems to take no issue with the slight panic and change in your voice, and doesn't answer you with any questions. “Hey, (n/n),” he tells you, a little awkward but you can still feel that solar enthusiasm of his. “I’m doing great!”

Just then, Seokjin retaliates in the background. “Yah,” the eldest member whines, “easy for you to say! I'm dying over here!”

As you walk out to your kitchen for breakfast, you find yourself chuckling, mind slowly easing a bif. “Tough day at practice, hm?” you muse, listening to the other members in the background. You grabbed a bowl and a spoon for yourself, setting it at your dining table as you waited for Hoseok's reply. 

"Yeah, you know us," Hoseok coyly admits. 

Your heart swells with pride, a grin on your face begins to hurt your cheeks as you hear some more kerfuffle on the other line. “Best of luck to you all then,” you tell him as you scour your pantry for the cereal box. "Don’t push yourselves too hard.”

Knowing well that the gruesome practice can’t be helped with a comeback looming overhead, you opt to cheer them on instead. “I’ll bring jajangmyeon later,” you then promised, as you fetched yourself some milk from the fridge. “You guys deserve it.” 

The excitement in Hoseok's voice makes a smile on your face in an instant. "That's great!" the dancer beams, going off on a continuous ramble that didn’t give you quite enough time to butt in. "So, are you coming here by lunchtime or earlier? We'll clean up if it's earlier—wouldn't want you tripping aga—"

"Uhm, actually…" you were forced to interrupt Hoseok, which immediately plunges the situation into an awkward silence. "I was thinking about bringing jajangmyeon for dinner instead," you grimace at the lack of conviction in your voice, guilt and the aftermath of the dream nearly trembling your resolve.

Hoseok is understandably bummed by the news. "Dinner?" he asks, "why dinner?"

It seems to you that the girl’s day his sister invited you to last week has slipped Hoseok’s mind. "I have lunch with Jiwoo planned today," you tell him as you ready your bowl, “y'know, to catch up and take some promotional pictures for her?”

Hoseok clears his throat, embarrassed to have forgotten that. "Ah, right," he hums, "I forgot about that…"

You chuckle a little, awkward as you seat yourself on a stool. "Yeah…"

There was something apologetic in your voice, Hoseok could tell and he doesn't want to hold you back any longer for something that slipped his mind. "Well, you gals have fun," he urges you, doing his best to move the conversation along. "Send me pictures if you have any."

It's an effective strategy. "Okay," you reply with a lighter pep, relieved that he doesn't sound too upset. "Let me know if tonight's jajangmyeon plan's a go, hm?"

"Of course," he hums, "I'll go now. Break's almost over."

The delirium that nestled from your dream and the rest of the mess it made out of you renders you guilty for not making the most of your time with your best friend. This conversation definitely could've gone better. What the hel—

"Uh, (Y/N), good.. bye?"

Knocked out of your stupor, the spoon makes a loud clunk as it hits the bowl when you drop it to have your hand meet your forehead. Silent misery aside, you don't leave Hoseok hanging any longer. "Oh, sorry," you chuckle, embarrassed, awkward, and shy all together. "I just woke up."

Hoseok laughs at your half truth of a confession. 

"I'll see you later, Hobi," you say before he could start teasing you. 

Your best friend hums, letting your little dazed moment be as he bids you goodbye. "Can't wait!~"

Silence returns to its throne, swallowing the room as you were left staring at the floating cereal in your bowl. Running a hand through your hair, you reign yourself in. “Get a grip, (Y/N),” you tell yourself. “You have a whole day ahead of you.”

"You like him, don't you?"

A scandalized gasp came out of you, almost making you choke on the scrumptious cheesecake you had ordered on this fine day. To think you would get attacked like this! What blasphemy!

"No, I don't!" was your immediate response, followed by strings of barely coherent, hasty sentences. "That'd be silly—I mean, Hoseok's a great guy, but me and him—together?" you scoff, "Pssh, no, no. It's not… uhm…"

Your rambling words die a painfully awkward death at the hands of a realization that this was his older sister you were ranting to. Even if Jiwoo was also a friend of yours, blood is thicker than water and she would most likely side with her brother than you. Clearing your throat, you pick at your plate and choose silence.

Across from you, Jiwoo looked on, arms crossed and unconvinced, but she doesn't at all seem angered by your profuse denial about being with her brother. In fact, she looked more than amused, and that doesn’t spell good for you. "You know, if I hadn't known you for that long and haven't actually seen you with my brother, I would've been offended," she chuckles as she adjusts her hair over to one shoulder.

Your face is red. You could feel it. "I'm sorry," you grimace, "I just… haven't entertained the thought of being his girlfriend instead of girl friend, y'know?"

You can’t possibly catch feelings for your best friend—that’s ridiculous! 

Ever the straightforward friend, Jiwoo easily expresses what she thinks of your state. "I think you need to be more aware of yourself and your surroundings, honey," she clicks her tongue, shaking her head at you. 

Her words make your eyes snap back up, partly offended, but mostly incredulous. "What?" you gawked, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

Is she saying that Hoseok—your best friend of seven years and a worldwide superstar—likes, likes you?

The oldest Jung eases back into her chair, feigning a thinking face before she drags you through her observations. "Well for one," she began, "he cuddles to you every time he gets the chance to—glues to you, even."

It's true enough. 

Constantly sitting next to each other with your legs draped over each other in some form, running your fingers through his hair or arms to help him sleep, really tight and comforting hugs, occasional forehead kisses, and more!

You're quite used to it yourself. However—

"He's like that with everyone," you were quick to say. If being cuddly with you insinuates romantics for Jiwoo, then he might as well be married to the rest of his members. Physical touch was one of your best friend's  many love languages, and that was why you never tried to give any meaning to his affections.  

Jiwoo doesn't deny your remark, and instead readies a more specific receipt. "Last week," she recounts to you, "the two of you showed up together at dinner and his back was soaked from the rain while you were very much mostly dry."

She's talking about the dinner that Mrs Jung asked you to attend last Saturday—something about making sure to see that her other daughter is well fed and taken care of. For contribution purposes, you had thought to call up Hoseok a few hours before the dinner to help you cook something from your mother's recipe to bring to Jiwoo's apartment. 

By the time the two of you had gone out to leave for dinner, it had already been raining. Hoseok was the one with the umbrella, whilst you held onto the food, which definitely made some struggles for the both of you, but he got to change just fine after coming in!

It was another case of Hoseok being a sweetheart, so you don't really see the point. "Which means?" You raise your brow at her, pushing away that part of you that liked the bits she was putting onto the table. 

Jiwoo groans at you not picking up (or rather, refusing to pick up) what she's putting down. "You know he's fussy about being neat, and yet, he drops everything when it comes to you!" she exasperatedly tells you, "he cares for you a little too much more than a friend."

She's overthinking it, you tell yourself—as you began overthinking it. 

"Don't be ridiculous," you scoff, drawing the straw of your iced tea to your mouth. 

At the lack of your understanding, Jiwoo half-heartedly sighs, pulling out her phone. "This calls for a live demonstration then," she mischievously quips as her fingers move about on the screen. She awfully reminds you of Hoseok when he’s up to the maknaes’ troublesome bullshit. 

You gulp the drink, mostly out of nervousness. "What did you do?" you squint, suspicious of her. 

She gestures you to wait a minute as she stirs the straw in her cup, the sound of the ice swirling around somehow making you more antsy to think about what kind of stunt she pulled. 

Not a moment later, your own phone rings. 

(Y/N), (Y/N), pick up the phone! It’s your hope, your angel, your Hobi!

That silly ringtone rings in the air, making Jiwoo recoil at the cringiness of her brother's antics. She shakes her head and murmurs something under her breath. ("So nonsensical")

You, on the other hand, were too aghast to be embarrassed, the straw that your fingers held hostage now freed as you had both hands seizing your phone. That rational part of you looking for reason in every single one of her rebuttals suddenly shrinks at the sight of Hoseok's name on the screen.   

Why is Hoseok calling?!

"Go on, now," Jiwoo urges you with a shit-eating grin. "Answer it."

And so, with much reluctance, you did. 

"Hel—"

"Are you alright?" were his immediate words. "Did something happen?"

Damn. Not even a hello. 

You glance at his older sister before you, but she simply sips at her Iced Americano, watching the scene unfold like it was the year’s greatest blockbuster hit. "What?" you ask Hoseok, worried about what kind of stunt Jiwoo unknowingly pulled over your ass.

Hoseok’s panic doesn’t let up. "Noona messaged me, asking where you are," he tells you. "I thought you left your apartment already?"

You could envision that little frown on his face, brows furrowed deeply. His concern, admittedly, makes you feel things—such things that are not helping your case at the moment. "I, uh…" you gulped, thinking of a good excuse. "I got distracted, left my phone on silent until now, so…" 

There was a good few seconds of silence, broken by a soft sigh that was in between done and relieved. “You’re lying,” Hoseok easily concludes as he tuts. “She’s messing with me, isn’t she?”

Right, you should know better than to lie to him. Hoseok may have the most obvious “I’m-lying-so-sorry” expression, but you weren’t any better—especially when it comes to him. “Yeah, she definitely is,” you sheepishly chuckle, as Jiwoo snorts the moment your eyes meet with hers, immediately understanding she’s been caught. “I may or may not be an accomplice,” you lightly joke, “so sorry, Hobi.” 

Your best friend doesn't at all sound too upset. "It gave me a heart attack," he instead dramatically claims. "How could you two do this to me?"

You find yourself laughing, in spite of your previous state of disarray. "Ask her, not me," you try and nonchalantly shrug. "Did we interrupt anything though?"

"Nothing much," he assures you. "Don't worry."

With a hum, you decide not to fully trust him with that and let him go on with the aforementioned 'nothing much' he was doing—likely, it was choreography or music work, which are definitely not 'nothing much' when it comes to his line of work. "Right, well," you chirp, toying with the fork on your plate. "I swear I'll bring you extra churros for this. I'm so sorry we bothered you."

Jiwoo simply shrugs at this, but leans over anyway. "Sorry for pulling your leg," she half-heartedly muses, before going back to her plate and looking at you smugly. 

Hoseok chuckles. "You better," he playfully says, "but I'll, uh, leave you girls to your fun time."

Knew it. You hold yourself from snorting. He's busy. 

"Alright, alright," you muse to him, "Jiwoo and I will actually start our little shoot soon anyways. I'll see you later!"

Your best friend cheerily hums. "See you later!"

Eventually, you were left with your homescreen, staring back at the photo of you and Hoseok’s smiling faces. As the silence settles in and the conversation processes in your head, this has, admittedly, only left you more conflicted than before the call ever happened. 

"Smooth," Jiwoo says, snapping your attention back to reality. “You’re very quick to throw me under the bus, too, hm?”

You playfully roll your eyes at her, before pointing at her with your fork. “You threw me under the bus, too, y’know,” you claim, "what was that even for, you little minx?" 

Not at all threatened, Jiwoo simply slides her phone over and shows you what she sent to her brother. 

So that’s why he was panicky.

Though the notion of his panic does make your heart skip a beat, you refuse to do anything and overthink any further—not unless Hoseok himself says or does anything about it. "That was unnecessary," you tell her, stubborn as a bull. 

Jiwoo shrugs with a smug grin. "Did you hear how panicked he was though?" your friend teasingly lilts, wiggling her brows in a way that reminds you of Hoseok. "My little brother cares a lot about you."

The insinuation of her words makes you fluster and scramble for some semblance of indifference. "So?" you try and scoff, "I care about him, too. I'm his best frie—"

"You're in denial is what you are."

The certainty in her claim makes you question yourself for a fraction of a second, but you recover quickly. “No, I’m not,” you huff, “I just don’t see the po—”

“(Y/N),” Jiwoo says your name in a firm tone that calls your attention. Her expression is telling you to face the possibilities of it. “You’re literally a mess after having a dream about him,” she deadpans, “which isn’t even wet, by the way.”

That definitely shut you up, leaving you to spend the rest of your little rendezvous with her on frantic topic changes and multiple eye rolls. 

But you couldn't bring yourself to let Hoseok know of any of your slip ups. 

"How'd it go?"

Hours later, Hoseok sits on his swivelling chair before you, cheeks full and adorable as he chews on the takeout you brought. Your phone on his coffee table rings with happy buzzes of the boys thanking you for theirs. 

"Great," you tell him as you send them all a reply in the group chat. 

It was terrible. 

"Jiwoo took me to this nice little cafe and we took lots of pictures," 

She wouldn't stop teasing me as we did. 

"Smile, (n/n)!~" she teasingly coos in a manner similar to what her brother did in your ringtone, her eyes glinting with mischief as her phone flashes. "Pretend I'm your Hobi!~"

—

As he leans to look at the photos Jiwoo just sent over, you come to unfortunately notice the distance between you both is so little, his fringe lightly brushing your forehead as you both share the moment. You’re barely looking at the pictures at this point.

Fuck, (Y/N). Concentrate.

"You look pretty, (N/N)," Hoseok tells you as you catch his smile when you steal a glance his way. “The pictures turned out great.”

You don't think your nickname has ever sounded so sweet to you, and your heart races to think Jiwoo might be right. Yet, you really can't afford to think about this right now.

"It's not much," you manage to plunge yourself back into the conversation, trying to pass off his compliment for your sake. "I'm no model, Hobi."

Hoseok leans back into his chair as his knee comes to nudge yours. "Hey," he playfully scolds, "none of that, now. You're noona's favorite model."

Chuckling, you shake your head at his statement. "Because she doesn't have to pay me for the little practice shoots she makes me go through?" you tell him as you stuff your mouth with a serving of the black bean noodles.

Your best friend pouts at your refusal to take his compliment. “Because you’re a good friend of hers that’s very pretty,” he finishes the discussion, further shocking you into silence when he reaches forth to wipe at the corner of your lip.

A huff escapes your lips as you playfully roll your eyes. You stuff another bunch into your mouth, making sure to wipe after your lips yourself. 

Within you was a war between clashing thoughts, one that didn’t want to cause any trouble and one that didn’t mind the trouble. After all, it’s not so bad to have a little thing for someone like Jung Hoseok. He’s a complete package in your book. 

At the same time, he’s your best friend—one of your very best. He knows a lot of your secrets and struggles, and has helped you through one of your darkest times. He’s a big part of you, and you’d be lying if you said his absence in your life wouldn’t hurt. 

Fuck. You are a mess.

"What?"

Hoseok hesitates to repeat this time around, perhaps because of the cold tone that bled through your words—that lack of cheery, gossipy vibes you always seem to have when he asks you for things like this. "I have…" he stammers, "I have a date tomorrow? And I was hoping you could help me?"

Three weeks. You’ve mulled over your feelings for three weeks, in between hanging out with Hoseok, the boys, and Jiwoo. You used to tell yourself to give yourself time—to make sure of things before you make a move, but as it turns out, time doesn’t care to wait for you. 

Were you so occupied that you didn't notice Hoseok taking interest in someone else?

"No, no, I heard you, I just," you were at a loss for words. "I just…"

I just didn't expect it would hurt like this. 

"Nevermind," you laugh, grimacing because you know your disheartened state can bleed through. "But yeah, I'll, uh," you clear your throat, "I'll be there in twenty."

Hoseok’s end turns silent, and you already know that he knows something’s amiss. 

"You… you alright?"

Crap. He knows you too well. 

You hold back the urge to sigh, and gather your wits about you. "Mhm," you hum, "just work doing me in a little too rough lately, y'know?"

This isn’t entirely a lie. You took a lot of work to get your mind out of things, and Hoseok knows half of this, because you once had to do a project while hanging out with him the other day. 

“Oh, are you busy then?” Hoseok asks, his worry already evident. “You don’t have to come here if you are.”

You don’t know why you’re doing this to yourself, but you suppose you can chalk it up to holding up this little tradition as his best friend. It was hard as it is for him to go on dates, and none of them have ever ended successfully, which is why he has his best friend—you—to help make sure he's as fine and handsome as he can be. 

No matter how masochistic you may seem to be, you didn’t want Hoseok to lose his best friend, just because you lost the chance to confess. “No, no,” you tell him, “I can come. I can use the break.”

“Alright,” he tells you, voice soft and unsure but happy nonetheless. “I’ll be waiting.”

The call ends and you fall back onto your bed, groaning as you feel your eyes stinging. This is no time to cry, you tell yourself as you haul yourself in front of the mirror to get ready. Be happy for Hobi.

And yet, the person that starts back at you had her hair a mess with stubborn stray tears already running down her cheeks. She looks tired and empty.

You’re a mess, (Y/N).

It took a while—definitely more than the twenty minutes you promised—but you arrived at the dorms with a fresh face after you spent some time concealing your sorry state. Seokjin welcomes you inside, telling you that you should have dinner with them while you're here and you barely had the energy in you to refuse. 

It was then you headed to Hoseok’s room to start rummaging through his closet with him. The air between you is awkward with only the sound of his playlist in the background to fill in the silence. Perhaps, it's your fault, but Hoseok hasn't spoken up either. 

C'mon, (Y/N). Say something. 

"So—"

"So—"

You and Hoseok freeze, eyes staring wide at one another as it processes in your heads what just happened. 

Oh, damn. This is painful. 

He laughs and yours follow suit, albeit small and sheepish. "You first," Hoseok, ever the gentleman, says. "What'd you want to say?"

“What look do you want to pull off?" You ask him, tucking stray hairs behind your ear. focusing yourself on the clothing pieces even as you fail at it miserably. 

Hoseok runs his fingers through his hair as he laid out his plans for tomorrow. "Well, I was thinking of taking her to an interactive exhibit Joonie suggested," he tells you, "then maybe we'll hit some karaoke or something."

You hum, feigning to think for a moment, when in reality, you were spiralling down a path of imagining Hoseok with the girl. Undoubtedly, he'd be ooh-ing and aah-ing at the pieces, try every single intractable, and take tons of pictures. They'd have a grand time, and that makes your heartache run green with envy. 

Right, you don't have the right to be jealous. You're here to help him pick his outfit. 

"Well, I,uh," you clear your throat, parting the hangers in search of something. "I think the sweater you got last month looks go—”

“You're doing that thing."

Beside you, Hoseok's statement rings through your ears, making you freeze and turn his way. Heck, you didn't even realize he was next to you. In spite of your nervous disposition, you manage to pull yourself together. “Hm?” you ask, brows raised as you scratch the back of your neck. "What thing?"

Hoseok crosses his arms, his gaze practically burning a hole through you. “That thing where you avoid eye contact and play with your hair,” he says, trying to connect dots inside his head. "Something's in your mind."

Panic alarms go off in your head now that he pointed such things out. You keep both of your hands off nowhere near your hair and stare in between his brows to give off the impression you were looking at him. "What?" you half-heartedly scoff, as you finally found the sweater you were looking for. "Nothing's on my mind."

You lay out the sweater on his bed along with a pair of pants you thought would look good with them, fiddling with them to keep yourself busy. 

"Now you're fumbling," he then claims, "so it's probably something you don't want me to know."

Why does he have to be right?

Movements pausing, the sigh you let out makes you close your eyes. "Let's just pick an outfit, okay?" You say exasperatedly with a smile, now openly sending the message that you wanted to end his prying then and there. 

Hoseok gets the message, sighing as he sits on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry," he then mumbles, hands fiddling with each other as a pout sets on his lips. He looks like a guilty child at the moment. 

It's an awful thing to wish for, but a part of you hopes his date doesn't go well. That way, you can redeem that chance you missed. That way, you can properly move on from this if things don't end up going your way. 

You gingerly reach forth to wipe his hair away from his forehead, in turn tilting his head up towards you. "I'm sorry, too," you tell him, "but there's… there's a right time for it. Just not now, okay?"

Hoseok nods after a while, his eyes seemingly now deep in thought, too. Damn, your wallowing is contagious, isn't it?

"C'mon, get up and try these on," you pep, trying to be more cheerful as you tug at his hands. (You try not to savor the feel of his touch)

The air turns somewhat softer, the awkwardness dying down as Hoseok slips into the combination you thought of. The sweater had a colorful little pattern—not too wild, but still fun—and the white button shirt that you had him peek out beneath it gave it a little bit of a classy flare. You had to spend a few seconds close to him as you popped the collar over his sweater, but you managed to remain sane. 

He looks handsome—as usual, only now it takes your breath away even more. 

You smile softly. "Looking good," you tell him, a little proud of yourself when he has a look of approval on his face as he looks at himself in the mirror. 

Hoseok adjusts his pants as you soon reach to fix his shirt from behind. He takes this as an opportunity to speak. “Noona told me something…” he quietly starts, eyes flitting to you to watch your expression. 

How unfortunate that you visibly freeze with your eyes going wide in panic. If it's Jiwoo, then there was a chance that it was nothing good. You couldn't tear your eyes away from him in the mirror, remembering what he said earlier about you. “What did she say?” you manage to ask, though you really dread to know. 

Your best friend definitely doesn't make things easier for you, turning around to face you, which forces you directly under his gaze. “She said that,” he purses his lips, a little hesitant, “that you like me?”

The world stopped then and there for you. 

God fucking damn it, Jiwoo!

“It’s nothing,” you said before you could even process it. Your eyes tear away from him as your instinct tells you to step back, get out, go home, and lock yourself away from the world. 

A firm yet soft grip seizes you by the arms—it was Hoseok. "You’re lying,” he says, eyes still piercing you. 

With your heart beating wildly against your chest, you were getting pretty prickly. “Well, how do you know?!” you snap, eyes still stubbornly looking away. 

A stupid question really.

Hoseok watches as you're practically glaring at his desk. “I’m your best friend,” he tells you, eyes so soft and never losing patience. “Of course I’d know.”

Your skin reddens and heats under his touch, but your eyes nearly water. “It doesn’t matter, Hoseok,” you tell him—and yourself. 

He frowns at the sad sureness in your voice.  "Why?"

You finally take courage to take his wrists and ease your way out of his hold. “You have a date, remember? We have to get you re—”

Before you could take a step away from him, your best friend doesn't let on. His hand takes hold of your wrist. “What if I tell you the date actually depends on the situation at hand here?”

Shock befell you as you turn to him in surprise. “What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask, brows furrowing as you head processes his words. Does he mean what you think he means? 

Hoseok reaches forth, hand cupping your cheek and wiping something away—were you crying? “It means, (N/N),” he softly muses, as his lips quirk into a smile. “I like you and I’d like you to come on the date with me.”

You could hardly believe what was happening. "But… the date…"

"Is for us," Hoseok confirms as he threads his fingers together with yours. "That is if you say yes."

“Oh.”

The man has the audacity to chuckle at your dazed self. "Oh?” he muses, swinging your hands with his. “So,” he then says, “is it a date?”

Your heart beats faster for a different reason all together now that the butterflies ran amok in your belly. "Well,” you murmur, pursuing your lips. “I think I like you.”

Hoseok's grin grew wide at your shy glance towards him. "You only think so?" he then playfully pouts, "you're not sure?"

"Are you?" you sloppily retort—like a child, really. 

"Yeah," he, instead, softly smiles as he takes the time to sit back down on the edge of the bed, which makes him look up at you standing before him. "I have been for the past three years."

This shocks you beyond all the initial shock he's put you through already. "What?" 

All this time?

He hums in response, nodding as he stares at your hands joined together. 

On the other hand, you're on a roller coaster of emotions. 

A part of you feels happy, of course. This is your three-week long agony coming to an end—the lost chance no longer needing to be seized. He likes you. 

And yet, guilt bubbles in the pit of your stomach. Jiwoo was right. You weren't aware of your surroundings. If those three weeks felt like hell for you, what more for him? Three years of longing for your stupid ass to notice and return his feelings? 

Did he spend that time in between trying to get over you? Were those what the dates were for?

Did he spend some of his days wallowing and spiralling down a rabbit hole of what-ifs?

Did he spend moments thinking of a way to take his chance but fail in the end?

"(Y/N)?" he calls to you, worried what has you so deep in thought. 

Knocked out of your stupor, you plop on the bed next to him with a sigh. "How did…" you mull over your words as you stare at his ceiling. "How did you know for sure that you liked me?"

Hoseok follows suit and stares at the ceiling with you as if you two were about to star gaze. "You know when I had a burnout so you planned a little getaway for us for a weekend?" he says, earning a hum from you. "I realized you're one of the few people I can show and trust my heart to. Life's just a whole lot better with you in it…" 

You know how that feels. 

Soon, his voice falls quiet—a little pained. "At some point, I thought to myself," he takes a deep breath. "Even if I'm not the one who gets to have her in the end, it'll be fine as long as she's in my life."

From the corner of your eyes, you could tell he turned his head over to you, and in spite of your hesitation, you turned to meet his eyes. "But then, noona's been pushing me lately, insisting you have feelings for me," he grins at this, "and it gave me a lot of hope to be honest."

Hoseok fully rested on his side at this point, head resting on his arm as he looms over you. "How about you?" He then quips, "When did it start?"

You go back to staring at the ceiling, cheeks flustering. "I had a dream…" you shyly confess, and in an instant, you could sense his mischief. 

"Oh, yeah?” he muses like a gossiping hag, wiggling his eyebrows at you. “What about?"

You lightly slap his chest upon seeing him grin wolfishly. "It's not like that, stupid," you whine, as you, too rested on your side. You recounted your dream. "We were somewhere nice and it was romantic and everything. The sunset was pretty, and then…"

Your words and train of thought fades into nothing as you turn your head, realizing how little the distance between the both of you is, how beautiful Hoseok looks this close, and how serene everything feels. 

"Then?" he prompts you to continue, smile growing wide with eagerness. 

"Then, we…" your eyes flicker to his lips. You don't think you'd be able to finish your words at all. 

He looks handsome, as always, but the distance that inches close between the both of you only makes your heart beat just a little bit faster. With the warm hues of the setting sun gracing over his features and the warmth of his presence over all, everything seemed to be in the very same wistful filter of the dream that lingers still at the back of your mind.  

Everything was familiarly falling into place. 

His hand reaches forth to tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear. 

Hoseok leans in, as your heart pounds. 

This is it. This is your dream literally manifesting itself into reality.

How unfortunate that the kiss lands on your forehead. Well, that was anticlimactic. 

Hoseok leans back, laughing lightly upon seeing your face. "Why are you pouting?" He teasingly questions as he lets the arm he was resting on fall. He's laying on his stomach, looking up at you like a puppy trying to make you melt. 

"None of your business," you grumble, red as a tomato, as you lay on your back, which purposefully sets a distance between you both. 

Your best friend—boyfriend?—simply laughs at your embarrassment as he scoots close and drapes an arm over your stomach. "C'mon now, (N/N)," he coos, cheek now resting against your shoulder. "You of all people would know that I'd like the first kiss to be perfectly romantic."

The blush across your cheeks reddens further at the promise of the real kiss. "Damn you."

Hoseok's laughter rings yet again as he cuddles you more in his arms. 

You don't protest at all, of course. This moment opens the door for you to a version of your future with no regrets swallowing you whole, marking the moment where you, nor Hoseok, have to see each other in an unreachable lens of heartbreak. This moment is where your fantasies come to cross the threshold of reality.

You suppose you owe Jiwoo a thanks, after all.

𝓽𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 : @mwitsmejk​ @dreamamubarak

#aYOOO #jung hoseok imagines #jung hoseok fluff #jung hoseok x reader #bts imagines #bts writing #bts fluff #bts romance #bts jhope x reader #jhope fluff #jhope imagines #jhope x reader #bts jung hoseok x reader #bts scenarios #bts fluff scenarios #jiwoo really is best girl #yn and hobi are so painfully awkward #what a bunch of babies lol #imagine someone else now being his date pep talk person now that yall are together uwu #also #i petition our queen jiwoo herself #thats so cute tf

[heesdreamer]

FIRST SUMMER

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

SUMMARY ➩ you and your bestfriends brother (possibly your mortal enemy) are both given the task of renovating your childhood lake house during the final summer before it’s sold

WARNINGS ➩ light smut, heeseung and reader aren’t super nice to each other most the time

WC ➩ 14.5k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ Well.. officially out of retirement with this one I hope! I started this august of last year and abandoned it during my hiatus so picking up where I left off was a bit difficult and I apologize for any changes in writing styles. This isn’t my favorite thing I’ve written but I hope you guys enjoy it, thank you always for waiting for me. NOT PROOFREAD NO PART 2

You wondered if Lee Heeseung had been put on this earth for the sole purpose of making your life more difficult.

He’d probably argue this assumption with the fact he had been born before you, his main reasoning behind his many claims that you were the one copying him and making his life a living hell and not the other way around. He was a measly two years older than you but never failed to bring it up and use it against you.

Heeseung had been in your life for as long as you could remember and you absolutely never got along.

It wasn’t a big issue at first considering you were kids and had no real need to be around each other. The playgrounds were big enough for the both of you and your parents saw no reason to force a connection between the two of you, despite the fact you were neighbors and the two pairs of adults actually got along quite well.

Similarly to you and Heeseung’s little sister, a small girl who was born in the same year as you but nearly your polar opposite in personality. At first you’d been hesitant when she started to show up to play with the older boy, knowing him by now as the enemy and assuming she was going to be just as wicked and terrible. It only took watching her push him down onto wood chips once for you to decide to be her best friend.

The boy had scowled from his place on the ground, grumpily picking pieces of the wood from the fabric of his sweater and watching the two of you run off together towards the swings.

He’d failed to understand the power of your friendship in that moment and now 15 years later he was still paying the price, stuck with the two of you constantly. You and Jiwoo almost seemed more like siblings than they did, attached at the hip and never going too long without talking to each other.

Which is why it was all the more annoying that you and Heeseung could never seem to get along, reverting right back to being two kids arguing on the playground every time you saw each other, which was quite often. You’d practically moved into the Lee’s house next door during high school and you were even a frequent guest on their family vacations, their mom booking a place with an extra bed for you before she even asked if you were available.

You weren’t exactly sure why the two of you didn’t get along. He was nice enough to other people and sometimes he cracked jokes that nearly made you laugh, only nearly. For some reason he just brought out a terrible side of you that you didn’t really understand and you were certain you did the same for him.

It was easier now that you were out of school and entering adulthood, not having any major reasons to constantly see each other and his parents didn’t have to force him to drive you and Jiwoo around places now that you had your own cars.

He was definitely still around though and you were trying your best to act civilly despite that inner part of you always preparing for an argument to break out between you.

Especially right now considering the fact he kept kicking your leg underneath the table at the restaurant both your families were eating together at. The Lee’s cousin was in town and you’d always been particularly interested in him, being a total sucker for an accent and a good beach tan.

You sent a glare to your right in Heeseung’s direction when he kicked you for the third time and jammed your heel against the bone in his leg, ignoring the grunt of pain he let out as he bent slightly forward to grab onto his shin. His mom sent him a concerned glance before remembering who he was sitting next to and rolling her eyes as she looked away from the two of you.

You were watching Jake as he talked animatedly about his life guarding job back in his hometown, leaning forward and resting your chin on your palm to show your interest despite the fact you weren’t fully listening.

It was difficult to considering the constant distraction sitting beside you, another kick being sent to the leg of your chair so you jolted slightly to the side. You whipped your head around to look at him again, immediately replacing your interested and awed look with one of hatred and disgust.

“What the hell is your problem?” You were spitting at him in a low whisper, grateful the table was big enough that the others weren’t really paying attention to you. Although they had to have expected an argument eventually considering they sat the two of you together, breaking an unspoken rule that had been built up throughout the years.

“Stop trying to seduce my cousin.” He was spitting back and his eyebrows were pulled down tight in a sharp glare, keeping eye contact with you in an attempt to intimidate you.

“Mind your own business.” Your response was quick and tight, slightly embarrassed he’d caught you staring but too angry to care.

You turned back to try and focus in on the conversation again but now you were suddenly overly aware of the fact Heeseung was sitting next to you and watching what you were doing, looking for any opportunity to tease you and start up an argument. You sighed softly and leaned back in your chair with crossed arms, keeping a scowl on your face and letting the dinner pass by without speaking again.

“You know, I figured the two of you would eventually start getting along once you became adults.” Your mothers tone was laced with lighthearted disappointment after the dinner, walking ahead of you on the rock path leading up to your front door.

You could hear your father laughing softly in front of her at the idea of your life long feud being laid to rest, a frown instinctively coming up on your face at their inside joke.

Glancing over to the side, looking past the small stretch of grass that separated your pathway from the Lee’s, you saw Heeseung sporting a similar dejected expression and you wondered for a second if he was hearing the same lecture you’d been getting after dinners for as long as you can remember. Then he was looking over towards you and meeting your gaze in the low light of the summer sun setting, eyes immediately hardening into a glare that you quickly returned.

It was hard not to think about it later on in bed, eyes trained on the old plastic stars on your ceiling that didn’t glow anymore. Your hands were folded on your stomach and you were tapping your thumbs softly on the smooth skin in contemplation.

Sometimes, although you’d rather die than admit it to anyone, you also didn’t understand why you and Heeseung didn’t just stop fighting.

He was kind to Jiwoo in a way that always made you envy having siblings and despite his constant teasing he never declined driving her places or picking up food for her when she didn’t feel like going out. And he was even kinder to your parents, treating them like his own and having manners enough for the three of you growing up.

It was like you were dealing with a completely different person, him falling into that same angry glare the moment you’d step into a room. Sometimes he’d be mid story with a group of friends, being charming and funny as he recanted something and exaggerated moments to get a few more chuckles. You’d watch from a far for a bit and then slowly approach and every single time he’d pause for a moment, looking completely thrown off by your arrival, and then tensing up and losing track of what he was saying.

Your presence just seemed to bug him and as the two of you got older it affected you more. You didn’t mind the fact he wouldn’t play with you when you were kids, never dwelled over him saying you had cooties or getting dirt on your favorite stuffed animals.

But the fact he still continued to hate you as you aged and matured, settling into your respective personalities and lives, you couldn’t help but be offended he disliked you so much.

“He’s just weird.” Jiwoo had explained to you once when you were both seventeen, sprawled out on her bed and flipping through a magazine as she addressed you. “You shouldn’t think too deeply about it.”

Heeseung had just graduated high school and you’d all attended the ceremony, both families getting reserved seats per his request.

It had actually gone well for once, he didn’t seem upset that you were there and he had even hugged you alongside your parents when he came off the stage and your mother handed him a bouquet of celebratory flowers. Mrs. Lee had shot you a surprised glance and then a supportive thumbs up and you gave her a soft smile in return, figuring he was just so excited to have graduated that he was managing to tolerate you being there.

The Lee’s had taken advantage of the fact your backyards combined into each other, no fencing between them, and the two pairs of parents had decorated the space for a small party for the older boy.

You were excited to go, especially since Heeseung hadn’t demanded an explanation for your invitation, and you even managed to make some good amount of conversation with a few of his friends.

The conversation was swiftly interrupted when you felt a hand wrapped around the middle of your arm, tugging you a few inches backwards to get your attention. You whipped around to see who it was and you were met with an angry looking Heeseung, looking more familiar to you than the smiley version of him you’d seen earlier.

“Why are you talking to my friends?” His voice was accusatory like you’d done something wrong and he sounded so upset that for a second you felt like you had.

Your mouth had parted in confusion, fumbling for words and coming up short from the shock of his sudden confrontation and also the embarrassment of the situation considering he wasn’t exactly being subtle with his anger and the boy behind you could definitely hear every word he was saying.

“Chill out Hee, we were just making simple conversation.” Jay proved you right by speaking from over your shoulder but you didn’t bother looking at him, keeping your eyes locked on Heeseung and wincing softly at the way his face hardened at his friend defending you. “Cmon man, I know better than to-“

“Do you know better? Because it doesn’t seem like it.” Heeseung was cutting him off at the same time he was removing his gaze from yours, breaking you slightly out of the worried spell you were under as he looked at his friend from over your shoulder.

You weren’t exactly sure what they were talking about but you assumed Heeseung had warned his friends against speaking to you. It took you back a bit, despite knowing he didn’t like you.

The two of you definitely didn’t get along but you were still very close regardless if you liked it or not and you spent a lot of time together, so it hurt you more than you expected it to that he hated you enough to actively try and keep his friends from interacting with you, enough to the point he’d embarrass you and cause a scene at the sight of it.

“Hee I’m sorry.” His eyes snapped back down towards you at the sound of your quiet voice, completely out of character for you to not be fighting back or making a snarky remark.

It seemed to throw him off enough that his anger faltered for a second, looking concerned for a moment as he stared down at you before his jaw was tightening again and his face hardened back up.

You weren’t sure why you didn’t bother to snap back at him, if it was from the embarrassment of being ripped out of a conversation and scolded like a dog who’d gotten into the trash or if it was actual disappointment at his behavior despite the fact you definitely should’ve been used to it.

“I think you should head home. Parties almost over anyways.” He was eventually saying and it was directed towards you although his eyes had dragged back over your shoulder to look at Jay.

You figured he had looked away because he was feeling slightly guilty for embarrassing you and not being fought back in return, or maybe he was disgusted with you and didn’t want to look at you.

Still, his tone wasn’t as angry anymore although just as hard and stern, and you nodded softly before stepping sideways out from between the two tall boys. You knew he was lying about the party being over soon but it had ended for you anyways and you had no issue leaving it and going to the safety of your bedroom.

Jiwoo had caught the end of the encounter and caught up with you as you speedily walked away from the boys who had started to angrily murmur at each other, hence leading to the conversation about her brother in your bedroom and her explaining he was just being weird.

“Jay is a total playboy though, you should steer clear of him.” Her nose was curling up in disgust as she made the casual comment but a small pout formed on your face, wondering if Heeseung thought you were going to hookup with his friend and that’s why he was extra aggressive about it.

Eventually you let it pass from your mind to become just another bullet point in the long list of things Heeseung had done to show you he truly disliked you.

It was a lot easier to start to dislike him back, easier to fight with him and snap insults rather than get confused and sad about why he treated you so differently. So your routine was set in stone even deeper and neither of you ever faltered, not during birthdays or relative weddings or even your own graduation two years later.

So it wasn’t exactly an easy thing to handle when your parents and the Lee’s were sitting you all down to explain that your family lake house was going to be sold at the end of the summer.

“Wait why would you ever sell it?” Jiwoo was blurting out before they got the chance to explain and you had a permanent frown on your face as you waited to hear their response.

You watched your dad and Mr. Lee exchange a heavy but meaningful look, like there was something they’d already discussed amongst themselves in regards of how to tell you. You were sat on the left of Jiwoo, Heeseung on her right and for some reason you had to resist the urge to lean forward and see what his expression was.

“We’ve decided, now that you three are all grown up, it was just time. We figured we’d use the money to travel during the summer or save towards retirement.”

It made sense as your dad started to speak but you felt a weird clenching in your stomach at the thought of not having the lake house to go to anymore.

Realistically he was completely right and you’d started to neglect the yearly trips out there, taking them for granted and not appreciating the time you got to spend at the house. You didn’t even go at all the last two years, finding yourself too caught up with things so unimportant you don’t even remember them now.

The lake house was a tradition that was instilled before any of you were even born, a collaborative effort of your parents to try and bring some fun and adventure to your summers since you grew up so close to the city.

“So it’s just gone?” Heeseung was speaking for the first time since the meeting was called and you were surprised to hear how thick his voice was with upset, clearly more affected by the breaking news than you and his sister. You caved to the urge and leaned forward a bit to try and get a look at him but Jiwoo shot you a sideways glance and you quickly sat back in place.

“Well not exactly.” Mrs. Lee’s voice was soft as always and you watched as she reached across the small space between the seven of you and gently rubbed her sons knee, giving him a soft smile and an encouraging nod. “We will have one last summer with it, mostly for renovations before the new owners come to look at it.”

You knew exactly what she was talking about when she said renovations, hearing your dad complain about the rotting in the deck and the holes in the inside walls for years now but never making the time to fix them.

But you weren’t fully understanding what they had planned for the three of you yet and you wished you had in that moment so maybe you could have come up with an excuse faster. They explained to you softly, attempting to lessen the blow, that you would have to go and stay at the lake house for a few weeks and fix up the place to make it look brand new for the new owners.

You weren’t at all against getting to be up there one last time, breathing in the clear air and having campfires on the sand, but you definitely didn’t want to sign up to spend your summer doing free manual labor.

Your parents left no room for argument and you could see the prepared disappointment on their faces so you offered no reason for it to escape, hesitantly agreeing with the plan and waiting to hear what the siblings next to you had to say about it. Jiwoo was stiff beside you and staring forward at the ground like she was in deep thought, a bad feeling washing over you at her expression.

She proved your suspicions right when she started to explain in a meek voice that she had already made plans for the first month of summer, having completely booked and paid for a vacation near the sea.

Her eyes shifted towards you as she told your parents this and you immediately furrowed your eyebrows in annoyance, knowing right away she was lying and making up an excuse so she didn’t have to come with you until the second half of summer and by then the house would be mostly finished already.

To make matters worse, you didn’t even process the fact Heeseung would definitely not decline considering how much he loved the lake house and that would leave the two of you alone up there.

He seemed to piece it together a few seconds before you did and you saw the realization settle over your parents faces too.

“Woah woah wait, there’s no way I’m going with just her.” He was quick to shut down the idea, sitting up straighter and shaking his head dramatically.

You didn’t say anything in response surprisingly despite the fact everybody in the room tensed up in anticipation for a fight to break out between the two of you. You were a bit dazed from the news of losing a big piece of your childhood and you were also just tired from the day over all, already knowing Heeseung was going to reject before he’d even opened his mouth to do so.

Mr. Lee was sighing and beginning to lecture his son on being an adult and putting your differences aside for something this important but Mrs. Lee was silent and giving you a curious look that you were too afraid to try and decipher.

Eventually it was decided that the two of you would either suck it up and go to the lake house together and work on it without killing each other or you’d face the wrath of four disappointed parents. You didn’t say much about the agreement either although Heeseung had plenty of comments to make and Jiwoo was finding the entire situation pretty hilarious from an outside view.

It had been about an hour since the family meeting and you were still in the Lee’s house, leaning your hip against the counter in the kitchen and mindlessly peeling some potatoes for the stew their mother was making for dinner.

The air was hot and dry like it always was during the beginning of summer, not bothering to creep up anymore and instead it just seemed like one day it was cold and the next you could barely sleep without waking up in a puddle of sweat.

You could hear the bugs outside from the open window, loud and alive with excitement for the new season and the breeze was just barely cooling off your damp skin. Normally this would bring you the same feeling summer always did, a lightness in your chest and a heavy sense of nostalgia everywhere you went.

It wasn’t hard to guess what was dampening your mood and leaving you feeling a bit shut off, the source of the weird emotions just a staircase away upstairs in his room playing video games.

Mrs. Lee was walking into the kitchen and pausing when she saw you although you only met her eyes for a split second before quickly focusing back in on your peeling and chopping. She cleared her throat softly and came over towards where you were leaning on the counter, placing down some lettuce and starting to chop besides you.

“Something put out your fire tonight?” She was asking it casually and her voice was as soft as ever but you immediately understood what she was implying.

You glanced at her from the side of your eye before shaking your head. Mrs. Lee had a certain aura about her that always made you feel like a little kid again, vulnerable and sensitive. As much as you loved your own mother, you always envied your neighbors for having her so close growing up.

“Sometimes it just isn’t worth the argument.” Your words weren’t the least bit convincing considering how forced they sounded coming from your mouth, paired with the fact you’d never once backed down from an argument and they all seemed to be worth it to you up until this point.

You could hear her take a deep self calming breath and your hands froze where they were chopping slowly, bracing yourself for whatever she was planning to say next.

“He means well honey he just… isn’t sure how to get through to you.” She somehow sounded as certain as she did hesitant and you could feel her gentle hand patting the side of your arm softly, leaving you with your poorly sliced vegetables and dimmed fire.

——

Throughout the entire process of packing your bags and mentally preparing yourself to head up to the lake house, you’d completely forgotten the fact you’d have to ride with him the entire five hour car ride there and then back again once it was all over.

He definitely didn’t seem to miss this fact considering he was standing outside leaning against the car with a nasty scowl when you came out, dragging your suitcase behind you and nearly tripping over the step off the porch from its wobbling weight. Your mother was trailing behind to say goodbye but not offering much help when it came to loading up your stuff.

Heeseung luckily didn’t say anything to you when you were approaching, greeting your mom with a gentle but annoyed good morning and staying on the side of the vehicle when you started to attempt to load your stuff inside the trunk.

After a few groans of annoyance slipped out of you, due to the fact your bags kept tipping over back out towards you and refusing to stay still in the neat tower of things Heeseung had packed for himself, he was sighing and making his way back towards you.

You glared at him when he circled around the car, not in the mood to be berated or rushed so early in the morning, especially right before you were stuck in a car together for the entire first half of the day. Your harsh facial expression faltered a bit when he was rolling his eyes and tugging your suitcase out of your grip.

“Just go and get in the car already, you take too long.” He was spitting it at you and harshly side eyeing you before starting to load your stuff up but you didn’t bother to argue considering the gesture was nice enough if you ignored the attitude he always carried.

“Well that was sweet of him.” Your mother was whispering the words to you in a dreamy voice, nudging you softly with her elbow and eyeing Heeseung through the windows.

You paused and glared at her in confusion, a dumbfounded expression and a sneaking suspicion starting to arise considering how weird both her and Mrs. Lee have been acting in regards to the two of you and your complicated, but mostly aggressive, relationship.

“Are you kidding me?” You settled on a bewildered statement instead of grilling her about her weirdness, knowing she wouldn’t give you an answer anyways.

She had given you a shrug that you assumed was noncommittal and then hugged you tight, tighter than she’d ever had and you tensed up a bit at the embrace.

You’d gotten into the passenger seat of the car and tried not to think about how weird the dramatic send off was, tried to focus yourself on keeping calm and not letting Heeseung get to you too early on in your time being forced together. You weren’t exactly sure why you were trying to be the bigger person lately but you chalked it up to being exhausted with the back and forth.

“You’d think she was sending you off to war.” He’d made the comment as he put the car into drive and you glanced over at him, staring at the side of his face, both confused and relieved by the fact he had noticed your moms weird attitude.

“She might as well be.” You didn’t mean to sound so snippy but it was your default setting when replying to him and he didn’t seem to mind the tone, chuckling dryly under his breath and shaking his head in annoyance before focusing in on the road.

He didn’t attempt to talk to you again for another hour or two and you were grateful for the silence, giving you another opportunity at being less confrontational. It definitely wasn’t for his benefit or to be kinder to him, you just didn’t want to constantly be exhausting your energy with the effort it took to keep up with whatever set him off.

Eventually he was pulling off of the main highway and turning into a gas station that was almost completely barren, stuck in one of those sections of a road trip that was basically just fields followed by more fields.

He was getting out of the car and shifting through his pockets for his wallet before sighing and glancing at you in the passenger seat, watching him from the corner of your eye so it didn’t seem like you were staring.

“Want anything to eat or drink?” He was asking in that familiar reluctant tone he always had with you and for a second you wanted to snap at him and decline his offer, tell him to just hurry up and get what he needed so you could get back on the road.

You took a small breath instead to steady your emotions before nodding. “Yeah I’ll just… I’ll take a-“

“I know what you want.” He was cutting you off and closing the car door before you could say anything else, leaving you with parted lips and annoyance starting to simmer in the lowest part of your stomach.

You scoffed even though he wasn’t around to hear it and leaned back in your seat, crossing your arms and scowling as you waited for him to return. You highly doubted he knew what you would get from a gas station, knowing he never paid attention to you or your interest outside of finding something to fight about and it just aggravated you further that he would go as far as to ask like he cared just to not let you answer.

He didn’t take long in the gas station luckily or else you’d overthink too much and be on the verge of exploding, sniffing slightly when he slid back into his seat and passed the bag with the snacks in it.

You paused for a second to glare at him before you were taking a look into the plastic and pausing when you spotted your favorite drink and a snack you commonly ate whenever you were stressed out or particularly craving something, mixed in with things you knew he enjoyed.

“What?” He was asking from the drivers seat and he sounded weirdly awkward underneath the familiar attitude. “Is it not right or something?”

“No it’s… it’s right.” You cleared your throat and nodded softly, sitting back in your seat and closing the snack bag after you grabbed what you wanted out of it and balanced it on your lap. “Thanks.”

“Yeah whatever.” It was muttered in his low tone but you caught it anyways, finding it almost as weird as the fact you had thanked him. He was finally starting the car and starting to pull out of the gas station much to your relief and you focused back on looking out the passenger window.

The heat was reaching the point where the low quality AC in the car wasn’t doing much to cool either of you down and once he rolled his window down instead, you took the silent cue to do the same to yours.

It was still pretty dry in the air and the sweat was really starting to make you itch and worsen your mood so you were hesitantly unbuckling your seatbelt so you could sit up more in your spot and pull your sweater over your head, leaving you in just a tank top and you sighed softly in relief as the air immediately cooled down the wetness of your sweaty arms.

You could feel Heeseung’s stare from your left and you glanced at him with furrowed eyebrows, rolling your eyes when he quickly scowled in return before snapping his gaze back onto the road.

It was pretty quiet for the rest of the drive, Heeseung playing the same music you often heard coming from his bedroom or his headphones when you were forced to sit close to each other in a car so you were actually able to recognize them and sing along.

Neither of you said much even when getting out of the car and starting to bring your things in, exchanging quick glares when you reached for the same bag or got in each others way but for the most part you were too relieved to finally be back somewhere that always caused your stress to melt away.

This time wasn’t any different and you took a second before you went inside with your things to take a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill your lungs and listening to the sounds of the water against the shore just off in the distance.

You couldn’t see the lake from the driveway as clearly as you could from the other side of the house where the deck was located but it was just one of those places where you could actually feel the difference in the air and the atmosphere.

“Can you hurry up? There’s plenty of time to stop and do nothing later.” Heeseung was griping at you as he passed by with another load of bags and you scowled at his back, completely removed from the peaceful moment you’d been having.

You decided to just leave it be and finish unpacking, flopping onto your back on your designated bed and panting slightly from the effort mixed with the heat once you were completely finished. Your phone had been abandoned against the span of your stomach but when it started to vibrate, you immediately knew who it was.

“So how’s it going? Have you killed my brother yet?” Jiwoo’s amused voice did nothing but amuse you further although you were struck by how much you missed her teasing.

You could hear the sounds of waves in the distance through her side of the phone, envy settling deep into your gut despite the fact you were also near water. The small lake was a lot different compared to the endless sea she was currently vacationing at, having a nice time with people who cared about her versus you being stuck with her older brother who couldn’t bother even being kind to you.

“We surprisingly haven’t really fought yet.” It came out of your mouth in a hefty sigh and you absentmindedly played with the string of your pajama shorts, pressing the phone tighter against your ear. “Think he’s downstairs getting ready for dinner.”

“Are you going to eat with him then or just hide out in our childhood bedroom?” She was asking it like it was a question but you both knew the answer already, the same accusatory tone that she always had heavy in her voice underneath the knowing smile you could practically see in front of you. “He’d probably secretly like it if you ate with him you know, I always did figure he had a crush on you.”

An automatic eye roll came over you at the sound of her baseless teasing. She often made jokes about Heeseung secretly liking you growing up, coming to the conclusion that was the reason he was always so harsh towards you.

You’d told her countless times that that was absolutely ridiculous and there was no way Heeseung liked you, let alone that he was the type of person who thought being mean to somebody was going to get them to like him back. You had seen the types of girls Heeseung brought home occasionally and he definitely knew better than to resort to elementary school level flirting methods.

She was eventually hanging up once one of her friends started to call her name, inviting her to come and swim with them.

You laid in bed for a while after the call went silent, feeling struck again with that weird lonely and nostalgic emotion that you couldn’t quite understand. It wasn’t normally this silent in the lake house, typically filled with doors opening and closing and the sounds of your mothers rushing around the kitchen as they cooked and your fathers cleaned.

As much as you didn’t want to, you couldn’t help but wonder if Heeseung was feeling just as weird about the whole situation as you, if he was downstairs just as lonely and unnerved by the fact it was only the two of you this summer and then nobody ever again. Your mind stuck on that thought process when you started to smell food drifting its way up the stairs and going straight to your empty stomach.

You’d planned to avoid the older boy as much as you could, especially during the first few days, but you were beyond hungry by now and you couldn’t help yourself from standing out of the bed and making your way downstairs.

He didn’t notice you for a few seconds when you first hit the bottom step, watching him for a beat as he casually moved around the kitchen and diverted his attention to three different pots and pans. He was listening to music again, something low playing from the old radio that sat in the lake house year round, and you realized how often you associated him with something soft playing.

You were completely ripped from your thought process when he was turning around and letting out a loud shriek when he saw you standing at the bottom of the stairs, dropping the bowl that was in his hands and doing a little scared hop.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He was spitting out and your mouth parted in surprise, not expecting such an extreme reaction or how loud it suddenly got. “Why are you just standing there like a weirdo?”

“What? I was not, I was just..” You started to defend yourself loudly but gave up midway and let out an annoyed grunt, knowing he wasn’t exactly wrong about what you were doing and you didn’t necessarily have an explanation. “I was just coming to see what you were cooking dickhead.”

He stared at you for a few seconds with a look on his face that you didn’t really understand before he was stepping to the side and revealing the plate with a handful of burgers on it.

You looked at it before you were meeting his stare and a weird feeling passed through you while holding his gaze, not something you often did- especially not willingly. He had cooked enough for the both of you despite his attitude when you’d came down and you weren’t sure if it was intentional or just habit but the act struck you.

The two of you ended up sitting at the table and eating in awkward silence, directly across from him but feeling like he was miles away considering he hadn’t even acknowledged you being in the room once.

You couldn’t help but be hyper aware of the fact you were very rarely alone with Heeseung and this was about as alone as any two people could possibly be. He was a lot less defensive when it was just the two of you and if you didn’t know any better you’d say he almost seemed shy, making you think about the jokes Jiwoo often made.

It’s not like Heeseung was at all ugly, you’d never stoop low enough to make fun of him for something that was so clearly not true.

Especially within the last year or two, he’d completely changed both in build and confidence and you were extremely glad you didn’t have to be around him as much as you did growing up. You disliked him as a human being but you were still a person in reality and he was almost unnaturally attractive.

“Why are you staring at me again?” His voice was low across the table, speaking in an awkward mumble as he started to push what was left of his food around with his fork.

You didn’t bother denying the fact you were watching him even though you hadn’t really realized you were doing it, completely zoned out again. You figured your time in the house together was already going to be awkward no matter what so you might as well ask him what you were thinking about. “Jiwoo says you have a crush on me.”

He completely tensed up for just a split second before he was quickly switching his demeanor and letting out a heavy scoff like he found you ridiculous. You caught the small reaction and your interest peaked, sensing an opportunity to get under his skin.

“Jiwoo also watches too many romance movies.” He was quickly disregarding what you had said with a casual and bored tone but you could tell that he was clenching his fork a little tighter, avoiding looking up from his plate all together.

“So you’ve never once found me attractive?” It rolled off your tongue easily, like you were asking him something as simple as to pass the mashed potatoes, but you gave him a knowing glance from under your eyelashes.

He finally looked up at you once you said this and he seemed taken back by the way you were watching him, the expression on his face telling you he thought you were absolutely crazy for even asking this.

“What? Are you kidding me, of course I haven’t.” He was quick to deny it and you could tell he was getting irritated, hand tightening around his silverware and that familiar clench of his jaw showcasing how much your questions were bothering him. You couldn’t tell if it was because he felt embarrassed or disgusted.

You let out a soft hum of understanding and let the silence sit for a few breaths, watching as he slightly relaxed under the assumption you were done saying weird things.

“I think you’re attractive.” He had been mid bite when you finally spoke again and his body lurched forward almost like he was choking, covering his mouth when he coughed and quickly taking a sip of water to try and force down whatever he had put into his mouth before you nearly killed him.

After he calmed down he was shaking his head at you again although not looking at you, staring down at his plate like he was thinking deeply about something and for a minute you wondered if he was going to take the bait like always or if he was going to just brush you off, making your stay much more awkward.

“My sister put you up to this?” His voice was stone cold now and he clearly was slowly losing his resolve, similarly to you considering what he said had completely thrown you off.

What did Jiwoo have to do with any of this and why would he automatically think that?

“No.” You shrugged like it was a casual conversation but your heart was beating a bit faster now, sensing genuine anger from him and not just annoyance. “I just don’t see the point in lying just because we don’t like each other.”

“You think I’m attractive?” His eyebrow was quirking up now and he was narrowing his eyes, leaning forward in his seat.

He’d finally put down his fork and stopped pretending to be focusing on the food he had barely eaten, elbows on the table and his full attention on you as he waited for you to reaffirm what you had said so confidently a few seconds ago.

The confidence had definitely left your body as soon as you’d said it and actually got his attention, feeling similarly to how you did when he embarrassed you at his party despite the fact the two of you were alone.

Very alone.

Still, you held strong and pushed through the conversation and if your stomach turned at his head tilt when you gave him a small quick nod, you’d pretend it didn’t. There was no going back now and you weren’t sure what direction this scenario was heading towards.

On one hand, you knew Heeseung had to be lying. You definitely weren’t unattractive and he clearly had eyes, ones that settled on you more times than you’d wished you had noticed so he wasn’t oblivious to this fact either regardless if he wanted to pretend he was. He was a teenage boy at one point and you were prancing around his house in short skirts and bathing suits.

And on the other hand, you didn’t think it necessarily mattered.

If Heeseung found you attractive he didn’t have to say it and this would be the ultimate time to completely embarrass you, humiliate even. If he rejected you here, you’d never live it down and he’d forever hold this over you as the time he utterly destroyed your ego in one fell swoop. Plus a large part of you was hoping he wasn’t planning to do that anyways even though you weren’t exactly sure what you wanted out of this.

You had hated the boy across from you for as long as you’ve known the power of the emotion and you’d never let him and his tall build and cute hair distract you from this fact.

But you also weren’t stuck seeing him everyday now. He didn’t live at home and you rarely came around unless you were forced beyond what you could deny so the stakes were a lot less high if he reciprocated what you were saying right now.

“You’re going to have to say it.” His low commanding tone was enough to stop you from overthinking the fact this was a bad idea, an absolutely terrible idea.

It was also enough for you to shift in your chair uncomfortably so you could better squeeze your legs together, watching the way Heeseung’s eyes darkened at the movement even though there was no way he could see what you were doing underneath the table.

“I think you’re attractive Hee, don’t be weird about it.” You were pulling yourself together and standing from your seat then, completely popping the bubble of tension that had started to suffocate you.

He didn’t say anything, thankfully not correcting you on the fact you had definitely been the one who made things weird, but he watched you with a heavy expression as you hurriedly cleaned your plate and disappeared up the stairs with quick footsteps.

——

You were coming to terms with an unmeasurable amount of regret now that a few hours had passed.

The bed had become your official moping place and you stuffed your face so far into the pillow you could barely catch your breath, possibly a self punishment for your humiliating behavior. You’d given up on attempting to sleep and you couldn’t rely on Jiwoo to entertain you considering she was probably busy and you were fearful you’d slip up and confess your sins to her the second she answered.

How do you explain that you’d nearly, just barely, flirted with her brother?

If you could even call it that considering the fact he looked like he was just on the verge of throwing his plate at you the entire time. Still, it had been weird and far too bold on your part and you were strongly regretting your life decisions up until this point.

Eventually you decided that sleep was useless and not coming anytime soon and you might as well make use of the fact you were at the lake house, suddenly remembering the hot tub that was placed around the side of the large deck. It didn’t take long for you to change into your swimsuit and start to head outside but you froze up right outside the slider door.

Considering how cruel the universe had been up to this point, you should’ve expected the fact that Heeseung was already occupying the small pool of water.

You were just starting to take a step backwards with the plan to retreat back upstairs and change again into your pajamas when you decided against it, taking a deep heavy breath before pulling the door open and simultaneously alerting the boy of your presence.

He was nearly all the way in the bubbling water but you could tell he was shirtless, something you’d normally be unaffected by if it wasn’t for the conversation you had. The steam from the hot water mixing with the cold night air was covering his face for the most part but you could see him enough to tell his face had hardened at the sight of you.

His gaze was locked on you for the duration of your walk towards the tub, stopping right outside of it and taking another subtle breath to try to calm yourself down.

“Mind if I join you?” Your voice was rougher than you wanted to be, nearly giving up the fact you were affected by the awkward tensioned air and the way he was watching you still.

He made it worse by not responding out loud, giving you a subtle nod of his head that made your heart rate increase. Still you were following through with the initial goal and climbing over the side of the tub before settling down into the hot water, letting out a sigh of relief and sinking into it until only the tip of your shoulders were above the surface.

Heeseung was still watching you and you were avoiding looking at his side completely, although that didn’t help much considering you could feel his stare on you.

“I’m sorry for making shit weird.”

Well apparently your mouth was planning on getting things out of the way before your brain was.

You looked up just in time to see him cock a brow in your direction, an expression on his face you couldn’t read and you almost groaned in annoyance from how calm he was being about the entire thing. You kept waiting for him to lash out at you and yell about your weirdness, maybe even call your parents and demand Jiwoo came instead of you.

“I don’t think it’s weird.” Instead he was saying this and shifting so his arms were resting on the back of the tub, lifting his torso out of the water more and giving you a better view of the wet streaks going down his neck and past his adams apple. “Unless you didn’t mean it.”

“I meant it.” Your voice was coming out rushed and your eyes were widening a bit, mentally cursing yourself for being so eager to reassure him.

He hummed softly like he had earlier and your stomach flipped again with nerves.

It wasn’t missing you that this was completely out of character for you and totally ironic but you were only human and as much as you disliked him as a person, you couldn’t deny how good he looked with damp hair and his tan skin lit up by the LED’s of the hot tub. He was sexy and always had been despite how much you wished that wasn’t true, and now you were alone.

So you tried to ignore your long history with him as you shifted through the water so you were closer to his side, only a quarter of the way to him now instead of being directly across from you.

He watched you silently for a few beats before he was scoffing and shaking his head like he was judging you, causing your eyebrows to furrow tightly as you stopped moving closer to him.

“What?” You felt embarrassed suddenly at your assumption and prepared yourself for him to make fun of you again, scold you for ever thinking he’d want you closer to him just because he hadn’t made you feel weird about your admission.

“Nothing. I just should have known you liked me.” He was laughing to himself slightly like it was the funniest thing in the world, not at all discouraged by the glare you were sending him. “You totally followed me around all the time, plus you always had that look in your eyes.”

“I do not have a look.” You hissed at him with a sharp voice and this seemed to amuse him even further. “And I never said I liked you don’t be stupid, I just think you’re hot.”

His eyebrows raised up high and his eyes widened in amusement, catching your slip of the tongue as you aggressively spat the words at him. “Oh see you said attractive, didn’t know you found me hot too.”

He was clearly having fun with the whole embarrassing situation and you gave up quickly, leaning against the back of the tub behind you and frowning with your arms crossed under the water in front of you. You stared ahead of you at the bubbles and tried to tune out his low chuckles.

“Don’t get pissy about it.” His voice was filtering over the running jets again and you glanced at him from the side of your eye, surprised to see something that slightly resembled guilt on his face. “If it makes you feel any better… I think you’re hot too.”

This made the corner of your lips turn up into a small smile,something very rarely ever sent in his direction from you. You turned your body to face him again and leaned forward with interest.

“So you lied earlier.” Your voice was more excited than you wished it was but you didn’t fully care, sitting up on your knees a bit. His gaze was dropping down to your chest before meeting your eyes again, losing all traces of humor now that more of your skin was visible.

“Yeah. I lied.” He confirmed in a lower tone and your smile fell slightly, suddenly nervous again. You were used to how he was acting a few seconds ago, making fun of you and feeling angry and embarrassed around him but this was a side of him you had no history with outside of watching him flirt with girls at parties Jiwoo forced him to bring you both along to.

That didn’t stop your body from naturally moving closer to him, drifting along the bench until you were right beside him and you could feel his thigh pressed up against your knee.

Your mouth was parted softly to try to keep breathing around the hot steam and his eyes were seemingly transfixed on it, watching your lips as you wet them instinctively and remaining on them even when your tongue was slipping back into your mouth. You could feel his breath on your face and it struck you that you’d never been this close to him before.

His face was leveled with yours for once since you were still perched up on your knees and he was sitting normally, minimizing the usually very apparent height difference.

He hadn’t touched you or even moved at all but you could feel his skin next to yours and you were hyper aware of his every movement, the subtle rise and fall of his built chest and the way his throat moved with every deep inhale he took. He seemed to be showing some restraint and that made you shift impatiently, teetering towards him until your shoulder was brushing against his.

His eyes shut tightly for a second when he felt your bare skin touching his, mumbling something under his breath before he was looking at you again.

This time his gaze was going all around your face instead of just focusing on your lips, even dropping back down to your bare shoulders and the way your wet hair was sticking to the skin of your neck. He scanned down past your chest to where the rest of your span of skin disappeared under the water.

“Hee.” Your voice was breathy as you finally spoke and instead of cutting the tense moment, it only worsened it and you felt your thighs pressing together again like they had at the dinner table. This time he could clearly see the movement past the bubbles and he stiffened a bit. “Can you touch me Hee?”

You watched him tense even more at the sound of your whiny voice using his nickname, one you didn’t say nearly as much as your friends and family.

He didn’t reject you even though you were starting to think he might considering how restricted he look, instead he was lifting his hand out from under the water and cupping it around your jaw softly. You could feel his thumb rubbing along your cheek, the water from his arm rolling down your neck and disappearing back into the pool of it.

It was almost embarrassing how much it affected you to be touched by him so intimately and the urge to kiss him was too overwhelming, a dizziness settling in from both the heat and the longing sitting harshly in your stomach.

You were so close to each other that you could feel his lips brushing against yours, not quite kissing considering he was rocking softly backwards every few breaths and holding your face tightly so you couldn’t surge forward and get it over with.

Heeseung definitely wasn’t letting go of his habit of teasing you but this felt particularly cruel and prolonged.

“That what you want? Want me to touch you?” His tone was meaner than you expected it to be but you didn’t exactly mind, at all apparently considering the shiver it sent down your back. He was clearly making fun of you and your desperation but if he touched you, you knew you wouldn’t be able to find it in yourself to care.

So you took a deep shaky breath and nodded your head as much as you could while he still held your face, moving your hand so it was touching his bare knee.

Your action took him off guard enough that he lessened his grip for a split second but it was long enough for you to lean forward and press your lips against his for just a second, barely feeling them on yours before he was pushing you back again and your hand was impatiently squeezing his knee.

Another embarrassing whine came from deep in your throat and his eyes flashed with something for a second before he let out another soft hum.

“Can’t do that baby.” He was so close that his lips pressed against yours as he spoke and you completely froze up once his words made sense to your lust dazed brain, just barely processing his rejection before he was letting go of your face and leaning away from you.

You did nothing but watch him in horrified shock as he stood out of the water and left the hot tub, weirdly calm even when your gaze was locking on his bare torso.

He was leaving casually like he hadn’t just did the worst thing you could possibly imagine and you felt hot wet tears of anger spreading rising quickly, completely humiliated and swiftly reminded on why you hated Lee Heeseung so much.

——

As the days continued passing with awkward avoidance on both of your ends, you were struck with the fact that maybe you didn’t hate him as much as you always thought you did.

You’d actually admired Heeseung at points considering he was the oldest out of the three of you and continuously setting a good example despite all the pressure. Some nights you’d leave a heated argument with him and head back inside your own home, laying on your bed with a racing heart and a scowl fixed in your features.

Then you’d hear the strumming of his guitar coming from his house, window wide open and directly across from yours.

The first few times you’d put in your headphones or let out an annoyed shriek as you slammed yours shut, trying your best to tune him out and erase his existence from your mind ; out of sight out of mind.

Eventually you got tired of pretending you weren’t impressed by how smoothly the chords carried over to you, how swiftly he must be moving his hands to produce something so soft and gentle. You’d let it carry you to sleep and for a moment you felt like you were experiencing something together.

You were more naive then, tricked into thinking he ever cared about you enough to even know you were listening, childish and stupid to possibly hope he might’ve been playing for you.

Some sort of apology.

He never was and he made that very clear to you and eventually your embarrassment and shame turned to hide behind anger. It was easier to fight with him, to scream and yell, than to admit that he was hurting your feelings and lowering your ego everytime he treated you so harshly.

The entire situation was extremely frustrating and annoying, almost (but not quite) as annoying as the continuous banging happening directly under your head for the past hours.

With a loud groan, you were getting out of bed and deciding to end your moping abruptly, heading downstairs to see what the workers Heeseung had hired were doing that made that much noise. You slowed your steps as you descended down the stairs, realizing there was a lot more men in your second home than you’d originally expected and they were all moving around at a fast and busy pace.

You’d just barely managed to dodge one of them, carrying a large amount of… something, as you reached the bottom step but in your attempt to move out of the way you were running into an abandoned tool box and spiraling in the other direction.

Your eyes had squeezed shut and your body tensed bracing for an impact that never came, instead feeling yourself smack into someone’s strong and sturdy frame.

“You alright?” You quickly shot open your eyelids to see who it was you’d fallen into, turning red in the face at the concerned look the man holding you was sending down in your direction, still holding you softly and giving your arms a slight squeeze like he was trying to get you to focus.

He watched as you nodded your head softly with wide eyes, helping you steady yourself back on your feet but still holding onto your upper arms like he was worried you’d fall again.

You took the opportunity to scan over his body and your face flushed a bit more at the sheer size of the man and his extremely toned arms, looking away quickly to focus on his feet between yours instead. Heeseung was definitely a large guy too and nearly towered over you but you imagined he’d look tiny in comparison to the one in front of you.

“You sure you’re okay? You look a little red.” He was speaking again in a soft voice that directly opposed his look and you snapped out of your random thoughts about Heeseung.

“I’m okay I promise.” You were nodding quickly and giving him a soft smile, hoping you were convincing enough to make him believe you definitely didn’t need any type of medical attention just because you’d tripped over a box. “Just startled me a little. Thanks for catching me….”

You trailed off while watching him and it took him a few seconds to understand what you were looking for, a bright smile on his face once he realized and filled in the gaps. “Namjoon.”

“Well thank you Namjoon.” His name was rolling off your tongue smoothly and his smile suddenly looked a lot more like a smirk making you a lot more aware of the fact he was still holding onto your arms and standing close to you.

He didn’t get a chance to reply considering the loud sound of someone aggressively clearing their throat was coming from next to the two of you, both your heads turning to see who it was and it was almost comical the way you froze up in sync with each other.

“Shouldn’t you be getting back to work now Kim?” Heeseung’s tone was stiff but you could feel the underlying threat in his words and the man across from you definitely could considering he was immediately letting go of you and taking a few rushed steps backwards, mumbling a goodbye to you before he was disappearing into the kitchen to find a task to complete.

Your shoulders slumped at the interruption but your heart was beating fast looking at Heeseung next to you, recognizing the expression on his face even though it was subtle.

He was absolutely furious, the type of anger that typically caused you to end arguments early or completely stay out of his way. When he got like this you knew it wasn’t the time to poke fun at him or start up any banter, his entire aura becoming a lot darker and less forgiving.

You’d fought with him like this a few times, realizing a little too late that he was in one of his moods and it was those times that he had said the worst things. Things that made the family and friends around you gasp even though they were used to your rivalry, things that caused tears to spring to your eyes as you stormed off to a different room.

“Let’s go.” He was saying it calmly but you felt a chill run over you as he stared at you with fury and disgust, reluctantly following behind him as he left the main living space and entered a small hallway just next to it.

You hadn’t even gotten the chance to explain before he was abruptly turning around and facing you, taking a few harsh steps in your direction until you were backing up and slamming into the wall behind you. Your eyes widened in surprise and slight fear, not understanding why he was suddenly cornering you.

Heeseung moved forward until he was pressing against your body and now your emotions were abruptly changing as you realized what was happening, a wave of heat rushing through you at the feeling of his front leaning onto you.

You were slightly embarrassed he most likely could feel how fast your heart was beating but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care once he was reaching up to grip your face, a lot less gentle than he had earlier in the week when you thought he was going to kiss you.

“So I don’t give you the attention you were begging for and now you’re flirting with the first guy you find?” His voice was low and harsh, completely demeaning you and still watching you with hatred in his eyes.

You hated how much this drove you crazy, the urge for him to berate you and make you apologize for what you had accidentally done arising quicker than you’d even knew had existed and you were a bit dizzy from how much you wanted this.

“Please.” It was rolling off your tongue before you’d realized you were saying it and you barely recognized your own voice, breathy and begging for something you didn’t even understand. His eyes got even darker, if it was even possible, and your stomach lit up with a desperate heat.

“Pisses me off so bad when you do that.” He was practically hissing it at you, voice a low whisper and his hand around your jaw tightened, leaning in so he was speaking to your ear. “Stop being so fucking dumb and use your words.”

You tried to get ahold of yourself enough to find the right sentence to tell him what you want but your mind was completely blank, instead deciding to just arch your back off the wall so you were pressing tighter against him.

Heeseung faltered a bit and his eyes dropped down towards where your stomachs met, watching as you tried your best to roll your hips up to meet his but failed to actually get any sort of relief for yourself.

“Just fucking touch me.” You were finally gasping the words out through clenched teeth and he didn’t waste any time thankfully, surging forward and surprising you by kissing you deeply.

His tongue was pushing into your mouth before you even processed the fact he was actually kissing you and you were letting out a satisfied groan against his lips, letting him lick into your mouth softly and play with his tongue against yours. His hand was wrapping around your lower back and tugging you forward so you were pressing against him the way you wanted to.

A wave of desire ripped through you feeling that he was hard against you and you snuck your hand in between the tight space of your bodies and palmed him through his shorts, smiling at the way he sucked in a sharp breath and stopped kissing you for a second.

Your smile was dropping when he was meeting your eyes and looking ten times more deadly than he did in a daily basis, still glaring at you like he always did but with tenfold the usual fire and tension. That didn’t stop him from pushing his hips against your seeking hand for a few seconds, eventually stopping and letting out a groan as he snatched your wrist off of him and pinned it against the wall behind you instead.

He was rutting into you so hard that you were almost worried the rough materiel of the wall behind you was going cut your back, completely forgetting about it half a second later when he was pressing himself perfectly against your sensitive lower half.

“Keep your fucking mouth shut.” His voice was dangerously low in your ear and you could feel him taking heavy breaths against your neck, panting to try and keep himself quiet.

You were nodding quickly at his command despite the fact he couldn’t see you, curling your hand tightly in his hair and spreading your legs wider so he could continue to slot himself between them and give you just a taste of relief. He immediately took the silent invitation and shifted his hips against yours more, almost bordering painful if it wasn’t so addicting to feel him this way.

Heeseung was clearly struggling to control himself and you couldn’t recall ever feeling this needy for anybody before, something about how forbidden the entire situation was mixed with the life of tension and anger was driving you absolutely insane and you didn’t seem to be alone in it.

“You want me to fuck you here?” He was picking his face up out of your neck to look down at you and check your reaction, his eyes hazy and dark with his lips parted and swollen like he’d been chewing on them. “Where anyone can hear you begging for me?”

“Who said I’m going to beg?” You were trying to snap back at him but your voice came out weak, nearly a desperate whine that got louder when he was shifting against you again.

“Sure seems like it, the way you’re spreading your legs for me already.” His big hand was sliding down past your waist and cupping underneath your bare knee, hiking your leg up harder and rolling his hips against you so deliciously you nearly collapsed as a stuttered moan ripped through you.

You immediately took your hand out of his hair and covered your mouth with it, eyes rolling back a bit at the feeling of him shifting his hips against you and practically dry humping you right there against the wall.

Knowing that the house workers were only a few feet away and walking around completely clueless about what they might walk into was only making you more desperate for him and you didn’t care how out of character it was for you. At this point you would be willingly to let him take you in front of anybody who wanted to watch, leave you shaking and crying for him in public.

He didn’t need to hear you say it to know this, a cocky look on his face underneath the fucked out expression he already had.

“Always running this pretty mouth.” He was speaking again in that same low tone but he seemed completely out of it, almost like he was talking to himself and not you. His free hand was gripping your face, squishing your cheeks together so your lips were puffed out and your eyes were wide. “Should’ve known you wanted me to stuff it.”

An embarrassing wave of want washed over you again at his words, nearly drooling at the thought of him shoving his cock in your mouth to get you to stop back talking. It would’ve felt more humiliating if it wasn’t for the way his eyes were completely frozen on your mouth like he was thinking the exact same thing.

You couldn’t resist the urge to tease him more and your tongue was sticking out softly before you’d even realized you were doing it, causing him to loosen his rough grip on your face a bit to allow for it to push past your lips. You were staring up at him with big wet eyes and your tongue on display, silent waiting and begging for something you hoped he’d understand.

Thankfully he did and he was only hesitating for half a second before he was picking his head up more and spitting down into your mouth.

Heeseung didn’t even give you a chance to swallow before he was following the spit with his tongue, licking along yours and cleaning up his own mess before you were pulling him back into a kiss and sucking him deeper and deeper into your mouth. It was completely filthy, the nastiest kiss you’d ever shared with somebody and you were terrified you’d become addicted to the feeling of his spit on your chin.

“Please Hee.” You were gasping out into his mouth, reaching up to tug on his hair again and get his attention locked on you and your request. “Need you to fuck me.”

For the first time since you’d started, he actually looked hesitant. He glanced down the hallway towards where the dozen of workers were and your heart dropped to your stomach thinking he was going to stop what you were doing, even if it was just to take you upstairs to a bedroom. You couldn’t handle the idea of separating for even a second and you were spreading your legs impossibly wider and touching his face with your shaky hand.

He glanced back at you in question and his eyes darkened again seeing the pure disgusting need on your face.

“You’re stupid if you think I’d fuck you like this.” He was shaking his head in anger and taking a step away from you, one that immediately had your body tensing and your heart aching in upset.

You were instinctively reaching out to try and grab onto him, just about ready to get down on your knees and beg him not to leave you at the peak of your high like that. But the empty look in his eyes made you rethink that decision and you just stood there in shock as he gave you one more angry glare before he was exiting the hallway and leaving you alone inside of it.

It was even more pathetic considering the way your entire body slumped against the wall before sliding down it and ending up on the floor with humiliation completely smothering you, knowing you only had a few breaths to wallow in your embarrassment before needing to get up and go back to your room.

—

You’d completely retracted back to your bed again after that and this time not even the smell of food or the sound of annoying construction could get you to go back downstairs and risk running into him.

Jiwoo had called you three times every hour before she finally gave up and instead sent a thread of text messages that you promptly ignored. You were overly paranoid that she’d find out what had happened, like even the sound of your voice would give away the fact you’d made out with her brother since she last heard from you.

If you hadn’t hated him fully before than you definitely did now because there was no way you’d still want Lee Heeseung after he embarrassed you like this.

You didn’t think he would tell anybody considering he’d get just as much heat for it as you would, if not worse since he was older and supposed to be taking care of you and his sister at all times in your parents minds. But the interaction staying a secret was almost worse in your mind, a private thing between you and him.

Nothing could have convinced you to leave the comfort of your familiar bed until the wind of the sea lightly blew back the curtains and gave you a small glimpse of the sunset raging outside.

You let out a big breathy sigh, realizing now how much time you’d been wasting moping around about a stupid boy when this was your last summer ever getting to experience sunsets this bright and air this fresh. Heeseung definitely wasn’t sat in his room caring about you and how he hurt you so why should you be?

It was almost completely dark by the time you made it down to the beach but you didn’t regret coming, the lake looking long and endless now that you couldn’t see the other side.

You remember it seeming a lot scarier when you were a kid, before you’d ever seen the real sea and back when you and Jiwoo used to dare each other to swim out as far as you could before seaweed grabbed at your ankles and spooked you back to shore.

Your heart ached with how much you missed her and you were pulling your phone out of your pocket and putting it to your ear without another breath, playing in the sand with your free hand while you anxiously waited for her to pick up and talk to you. You didn’t have to wait long considering she was answering after the second ring and you let out a breath of relief.

“Finally, I was starting to think you’d really killed eachother.” Her voice was sweet as ever and a wave of fondness and nostalgia hit you even harder, laughing softly but not fully answering her yet.

For some reason the sound of her light joking mixed with the waves from her side of the phone was bringing tears to your eyes and you didn’t need to say anything for her to understand you were feeling something heavy. You both stayed silent and you hoped she figured you were just upset about leaving the lake house behind and didn’t create her usual conspiracy theories.

“You okay over there? I can come early if you need me to.” Your friend was doing her best to reassure you without knowing why you were upset and you wiped your now running tears with your sleeve.

“I’m alright, just feeling a lot of things right now I think. Are you having fun?” You weren’t exactly lying in your answer which was good considering you didn’t want to lie to her anymore than you already had to.

“I’d be having more if you were with me but you already know that. Can’t believe my brother gets to spend more time with you than I do.”

Your heart sunk a little at the mention of the exact reason you were crying and you were sure how to respond to her without giving too much away. She could read you even over the phone so you knew she might’ve felt the energy shift now that she’d brought her brother up, sniffling a bit and letting the sand run through your fingers.

She talked a bit more about her vacation and how much fun being at the sea was after so long and you listened to her excitedly chatter, letting out soft hums every once in awhile to assure her you were still listening.

You actually were but a large part of you was still thinking about Heeseung and what he might be doing back up the hill inside the lake house. You wondered if he felt guilty for you hiding in your room or if he had even realized you weren’t inside anymore.

Jiwoo was eventually bidding you a goodnight and making you promise to answer her the next time she called on the first ring, sounding a bit heavier when she was saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. You hated that you didn’t feel the typical happy buzz that your bestfriend typically brought and more tears made their way down your cheeks.

You sat like that on the shore for another hour, watching the waves roll and crash onto the sand just a few feet away from where you were sitting.

It was putting you in a sort of trance, so many thoughts running through your head that you weren’t even able to pinpoint where one started and another ended.

You were so deep in your own head that you didn’t at all hear the calls of your name from up the hill, starting off mildly confused and concerned but escalating to full on desperate and panicky shout when they were met with no response. You certainly didn’t hear the footsteps coming down the large wooden steps from the back deck or when he breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing you on the beach.

“There you are.” Your back tensed at the sound of his voice and the soft tone in which he mumbled the words. “I thought for a second you’d gone back home.”

He was coming to sit beside you on the sand, just close enough where you could feel his body beside yours and the wind carried over his familiar scent but still too far to touch.

Which was for the better in your opinion.

You ignored him even though you could sense his stare on the side of your face and embarrassment was hitting you in rough rolling waves, hoping that the moonlight wasn’t quite bright enough to give away the large tear streaks down your cheeks or how red your nose had gotten from crying.

“Hey, I’m sorry about earlier.” His voice was still soft which was doing absolutely terrible things to your heart and you shook your head slightly, pulling your lip between your teeth to stop yourself from letting out another sob. “I’m sorry about everything in general.”

He was turning to face you more and you braved up enough to spare him even the slightest glance, seeing pure guilt and turmoil on his face.

Meeting your gaze was enough for him to realize how upset you truly were and he was sighing before scooting closer to you in the sand and putting one of his warm hands on your bare arm, now cold from sitting out in the wind for so long. You instinctively leaned into his touch and his other hand gently gripped the side of your face so you couldn’t look away again.

It was such a jarring difference from how he’d touched you earlier, from how he touched you your entire life actually.

“I didn’t mean to be so mean so you or leave you there like that I just… I just panicked I think.” He was rambling now and stuttering through his words, something you knew he often did whenever he got in trouble when you were younger. “You think about something happening for so long and then it actually does and it’s so much more different than you thought, n-not that it wasn’t good I just mean that…”

He trailed off and sighed again and you squeezed your eyes shut to try and ignore the desperate urge to just kiss him and shut him up.

You knew you needed to hear whatever he had to say and he definitely needed to say it, he long overdue owed you a few hundred apologies and it was a lot more than the fact he’d left you high and dry earlier.

It was all the times he glare at you and stolen a smile off your face and every argument you ever had that left you stricken with angry tears and storming out of a room, the embarrassment of being told off at his graduation party and even worse the fact he didn’t kiss you until he was driven by jealously.

“I’m just so sorry.” He seemed like he was ending his monologue there and you gave him a heavy look, slightly nuzzling into his hand before placing your own over it. “Say something please?”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.” Your words were more honest than you expected them to be but his eyes softened when your voice came out weak and croaky, the full expanse of your hurt getting more obvious by the second. “I’m just confused.”

You were turning slightly so you were facing him more and you were certain the two of you looked a bit ridiculous, sitting criss crossed directly opposite of each other with your knees touching and his hand holding your face still, only moving to push some of your hair out of your face.

“I am too.” He was whispering now and you felt the full effect of it low in your stomach, a soft smile on his face now that you were opening up to him a bit more.

Heeseung had never left your life and it was a lot easier to list out all the terrible moments you’d had with him over the softer times, glimpses of days where he’d had a smile just like this wether it was in your direction or not.

He’d been there every time you called for a ride even if he complained about it most of the way home and you’d never stopped listening in extra hard whenever you heard his sweet dorky laugh coming from a few rooms over. You must have been blind to what your mothers had clearly started seeing a long time ago but little things this summer had made you reconsider how deep your dislike for each other goes.

You’d long hesitated to fight with him, starting to rethink your quick jabs and your constant attitude whenever he walked into a room and clearly he’d picked up on more than you ever realized, obvious by him so easily knowing your comfort snacks or the way to calm you down.

“You know,” Your eyes snapped back up to his when he started to speak in a low voice as you waited to hear what he had to say. He looked a bit nervous, like he was about to confess something and you gave him your full attention. “When we used to fight as teenagers, I’d always feel so terrible for making you storm home. Even started playing guitar with my window open so you could hear it.”

Your entire world view shattered just off of that simple admission alone and a heavy sob interrupted whatever else he was going to say, his eyes widening in surprise for just a moment before you were leaning over onto him fully and throwing yourself into a tight hug.

He eagerly accepted although not understanding the true weight he’d just released from your shoulders and you felt him let out a big breath of relief now that you were in his arms, his hands rubbing up and down your back as you cried softly.

You didn’t need to hear him say that he felt the same way that you did, as confusing and scary as it was after projecting your anger onto each other for so long. Your heart tore up thinking about that young girl in her bedroom just holding onto the silly childish hope that the boy next door was actually playing for her, now knowing it wasn’t foolish at all and he’d been right there hoping she was listening.

It hurt you to think about how much time you’d wasted carrying on a childish feud and how whatever this was had started off being such a disaster of jealously and toxic back and forth.

But you were immediately soothed by the never wavering feeling of his arms wrapped tightly around you and the gentle sound of the waves crashing on the shore, spending one last summer on the beach that raised you and creating your first one with the boy you loved.

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fanfiction #heeseung x reader #heeseung smut #enhypen smut #heeseung au #enhypen au #heeseung fic #lee heeseung

[seokgyuu]

→ GENRE: smut, college au, crack, → PAIRING: Vernon x Afab!Fem!Reader (Feat. Soonyoung x Afab!Fem!Reader & Chan x Afab!Fem!Reader) → SYNOPSIS: you have never been a person who turns down a challenge, but when your best friend challenges you to hook up with 13 boys in one semester you kind of wish you were.

→ WARNINGS: angst in this chapter, shower sex, unprotected sex (you know... that's just who she is, like fr, all of the sex in this is unprotected), cumming in pants (m), virgin!vernon, cum eating, angry sex, usage of the words "baby", "princess", dirty talk, Mommy!Kink (Vernon)

→WORD COUNT: 13k

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A/N: Merry Christmas everyone! Or happy holidays for those of you who don't celebrate! For this year I thought I'd give you a treat in the form of a new chapter of everyone's favorite shit show, lmao. We are actually nearing the end - only one more chapter left of the regular scheduled content aka after next chapter every single member of svt got his own time to shine (some even... more than once). I honestly don't know how this happened, this was supposed to be a funny little smut fest and now it's literally almost 100k words of filth and drama. Thank you for reading this and sticking by it for the past 3 years! I also want to thank @bitchlessdino for betaing this chapter <3 And now enjoy the ride!

Also: I opened a ko-fi! If any of you want to support me through that, I would be extremely thankful! If not that is also completely fine of course! Remember that reblogs and asks is what keeps us as a writing community going, so please, if you like my work consider reblogging with feedback <3. Happy holidays!

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The whole thing was like a blur. One second you were in the car with Seungcheol, the next you were outside, hearing your best friend yell at you. Her whole face was red, her eyes wide and her mouth moving as the worst insults left her lips. The worst thing was, you couldn’t even be mad at her. You couldn’t even be offended because she was right.

Her brother tried to calm her down, but the look she gave him made even Seungcheol back down. In all your years of friendship with Jiwoo, you had never seen her this mad. She suddenly looked way taller than she actually was, taller than Seungcheol, taller than your apartment complex. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” She now asked for the nth time and you once again didn’t know how to respond.

“Jiwoo, I-,”

“You really couldn’t see the very clear invisible boundary that you’re not supposed to fuck my brother?”

“How can it be clear when it’s invisible?” You responded without giving it much thought. Jiwoo’s head turned even redder and Seungcheol sighed, closing his eyes as he let his head fall to look at his shoes.

“Oh my god, you know what I mean! Y/N, you can’t seriously think it’s okay to sleep with my brother behind my back!” 

“I never- fuck, Jiwoo, I’m sorry, okay? I really- I didn’t plan for this to happen. After the first time I really wanted to end it, but-,”

“The first time?!” Jiwoo gasped and you noticed your mistake too late. Seungcheol rubbed a hand over his face, stepping closer again, wanting to get in between you two.

“Jiwoo-yah, please, don’t make this a bigger deal than it is.”

“A big deal you say? You mean as big of a deal as you made it when you found out I slept with Taehyung one time?”

Seungcheol’s jaw tightened. You looked between him and his sister, chewing on your bottom lip. There really wasn’t anything for you to say to make this any less bad. You had betrayed her trust, had lied about who you had slept with when you had actually slept with Seungcheol. You had been avoiding her, having Soonyoung be something like a freaking owl between you. Sighing, you pulled a hand through your hair.

“You’re right, I did cross a boundary. I- I should have told you and I shouldn’t have avoided you. I am sorry, Jiwoo, I truly am.” 

She turned back to you, her eyes still full of fire, no sign of forgiveness. Seungcheol looked over at you too, his gaze unsure. 

“Can you promise that it won’t happen again?”

The silence that followed the question, even if it only lasted a few seconds, spoke more than any of your words could have.

Jiwoo snorted, shaking her head.

“You know what, go right ahead. I should have known at one point you would do just about anything to finish this stupid challenge. You never respected any fucking boundaries, you slept with Soonyoung when I told you I wanted to, you slept with Wonwoo even when you already knew he had feelings for you. You don’t care about anyone but yourself, Y/N, you just want to win, prove yourself to whoever the fuck. Most certainly not to me because if that was the case you wouldn’t have fucked my god damn brother!”

Without waiting for an answer, Jiwoo turned around and stormed off, most probably to her car. You couldn’t move even a single muscle. It was as if she had pushed you right off the edge of all the anxiety you had been feeling these past weeks. As much as you felt like crying, you couldn’t. 

“She-”, Seungcheol’s voice seemed distant, even though he was right next to you. Perhaps you were now stuck in your own little bubble, far, far away from everyone, only close to yourself and the knowledge you had hurt the one person who meant most to you. 

“She didn’t mean it, Y/N, she is just angry right now.” His hands were on your shoulders and as soft as his touch was, as much did it burn. You shook your head.

“No, she is right. I don’t respect boundaries, I- I forget about them, I just do whatever I feel like doing. I- god, I slept with Seokmin today, right outside your office, all for you to hear, I- I made you angry, I manipulate people, I-,”

“No, don’t do this,” Seungcheol interrupted you, “you don’t get to make yourself feel worse. I told you to sleep with Seokmin. Hell, I told you to sleep with three people to get this challenge over with.”

He wanted to make you feel better, you knew that. He wanted for you to not spiral and fall into a whole of self pity and self hatred but it was too late. You were already there.

“I need to go, I need to- I need to be alone, okay?” You ignored the hurt in his eyes, the obvious need to hold you close, to comfort you. Right now, you couldn’t. Acting like you hadn’t just lost your best friend of years and years, acting like you hadn’t been a horrible person, that all of the things she said hadn’t been right. 

Without saying another word, you turned away from Cheol and walked to your complex, typing in the code and finally letting the tears fall freely. 

-

A week went by. A week filled with nothing but you and your self pity as well as self hatred that made you turn off your phone and cry into your pillow for as long as you could before all of your tears dried out. You had done this to yourself - all of it. If you had done what you had known was right, none of this would be happening right now. Jiwoo would still speak to you and perhaps you could have seen Mingyu again, could have spent hours just forgetting about that stupid challenge and feel like you had any other purpose than this. It was silly really, how much this had changed your life. If for better or worse… debatable. Right now it was definitely worse. 

On Saturday Soonyoung decided it was done though. Your pity-party had to come to an end. Jiwoo had told him all about your fight and when she had read on his face that he had known about you and Seungcheol, she had called him an asshole and left. So, now he was here, 8 pm sharp at your door, banging on your door and almost gasping in shock when he saw the state you were in. Your hair was greasy and your eyes swollen, the clothes you were wearing had probably been on your frame for more than just a few days and judging by the way you were holding a bucket of ice cream pressed against your chest, you probably hadn’t had any real food in god knows how long.

“Y/N…,” Soonyoung sighed and you rolled your eyes.

“What are you doing here? Isn’t my not answering any calls enough hints that I don’t want to talk or see anyone?”

“How do you know I called you when your phone is off, hm?” Without waiting for you to answer and completely ignoring your complaints, he squeezed into your apartment and closed the door behind him, the grin on his face almost scaring you.

“We’re going to a party, babes,” he then said and you laughed, getting your spoon out of the pocket of your sweats, ready to dip it back into the cookie dough ice cream. Soonyoung gasped for real now, grabbing the spoon out of your hands and shaking his head.

“Abso-fucking-lutely not, Y/N. Go take a shower. Maybe even two, for Christ’s sake. And then, I don’t know, look in the mirror and try a smile.” 

His words made heat rush to your cheeks and you found yourself scratching the back of your head as you slowly made your way to the bathroom not even sure how he managed to change your mind so quickly. But perhaps a shower wasn’t such a bad idea. Showers always helped to make you feel better after a hard time and if this wasn’t a hard time you didn’t know what was. 

So, standing in the bathroom, a soft towel pressed against your naked body, you chewed on your bottom lip and finally stepped into the shower, towel set aside on the toilet seat. The second warm water started running down your body, the tension of the past days seemed to finally leave your body. You didn’t feel as sore anymore, as sad, as useless. Less like the worst human on this planet, who didn’t care about anyone but herself. Your eyes flew open, seeing only the already wet tiles staring back at you. The sound of the water hitting the floor mixed with the blood rushing in your head gave you a sense of steadiness as well as made you feel like you were about to pass out. Tears were about to well up again, tears you were sure had already grown tired of leaving your body. 

“No crying in the shower, you hear me?” Soonyoung’s voice echoed through the door and you felt the sob in your throat turn to a choked laugh, your head turning to the door. An idea popped into your head. Clearing your throat, you slowly moved the glass door to the side.

“Soonyoung?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you…want to join me?” 

The silence only lasted for a few seconds before you heard something like a thump noise and the door opening around ten seconds later. There he stood, Soonyoung, in his naked glory a big grin on his face as he stepped under the shower, your back hitting the wall you had stared at just a few seconds before.

“To what do I owe the honor?” He asked, his hands creeping around your waist. You shrugged.

“I thought you wanted to help me get my mind of things?”

“And that's how to do it?” He asked, smirking. 

“We can shower together, make out a little…,” your hands moved up his torso, stopping at the sides of his neck, tongue licking over your lips, “maybe more… we’ll see.”

No further words were exchanged when he dipped down to kiss you, one hand on your cheek, the other on your hip, his already half hard cock pressing against your stomach as you let your arms wrap fully around him. Your eyes closed as you let him lead the kiss, his tongue now devouring yours, every touch of his setting you on fire, giving you new energy. You let every bad thought leave your body, instead let him enter it - metaphorically as well as physically. His fingers made you arch your back and his lips sucked softly on your nipples, and when he finally sunk into you, his cock stretching you out as good as it had back then, it seemed as if you had never felt anything bad ever in your life. 

“God, not gonna lie, missed your tight little cunt, baby,” he breathed against your ear, your legs wrapped around him, teeth sunken into your bottom lip as you let him fuck you into your wall, droplets of water running down both of your bodies, his cock hitting the perfect spot over and over until he made you cum, your moans echoeing through the room like a song he could never get enough of. He pulled out of you, jerking himself off as he kissed you hard, his seed soon getting washed away with the rest of the metaphorical dirt you had felt on your body for days. 

After, Soonyoung helped you pick out an outfit for the party, comfortably seated on your bed, his legs crossed and his face red from the shower. He was seriously adorable. 

“I like the black dress, it’s super sexy,” he said as you were holding up said black and a rosy pink dress. You pursed your lips and nodded, hanging the pink dress back into the closet and walking over to the mirror, holding the black dress against your frame. It was tight, but didn’t show any cleavage with its almost turtleneck-like cut. Was this what you were going for? Sexy? You clicked your tongue and turned back around, placing the dress on the bed before slipping into some underwear that wasn’t necessarily extremely sexy but also sexy enough for anyone to see (if you somehow managed to score in your current mindset). 

“Where are we going by the way?” You asked Soonyoung now and the man shrugged, grabbing his phone.

“Not too sure, actually. Like I know where it is, but that’s about all the information I got from my source.”

“Your “source”? What are you?  An investigative journalist?” You chuckled and Soonyoung grinned at you, eyes on you instead of his phone for a short while. 

“Maybe.” 

Laughing, you finally slip on the dress and walk over to the mirror again, eyeing yourself cautiously. Yes, this was good. This made you look hot and also sophisticated, made you feel confident and less like a failure. You smiled. Soonyoung had a good eye for dresses, apparently.

When you finished applying your make-up and Soonyoung had also gotten ready, you found yourself in the backseat of a cab, not paying much attention to where you were going as you were busy finally turning your phone back on, Soonyoungs portable charger plugged into it. Anxiety rushed through you, when the lock screen lit up and was flooded with countless notifications once you had typed in your pin-code. Missed calls from Mingyu, Seungcheol and Soonyoung. Messages from all of them, as well, plus a group chat for a project you had completely forgotten about. Your friend next to you eyed you worriedly.

“Perhaps you should have done that tomorrow.” He scolded you, snatching the phone from your hands to lock it and shove it in the pocket of his oversized denim jacket. You pouted, crossing your arms before looking out the window. Seoul passed by your eyes, lights everywhere and you noticed how much you had actually missed leaving the house. The last time you had been this upset, it had also resolved around Jiwoo. But back then, it had ended well, the two of you had found your way back, mayhaps even stronger than before. But this? You weren’t so sure you could come back. It shouldn’t be as big of a deal as it was, you thought. So what, you slept with her brother? He was his own person! He could make his own decisions! Fine, you lied to her about it. Lied for weeks and weeks. You felt small again, suddenly, wondering if you even deserved Jiwoo to ever forgive you for betraying her like this. Her words still stung and you knew that while she was angry, being that mean hadn’t been fair. 

“We’re here!” Soonyoung grinned at you, handing the cab-driver his card and thanking him, before opening the door and helping you out, your hand in his. When your feet touched the ground, the door closing behind you, you finally took in the surroundings. And felt yourself almost falling right into Soonyoung’s chest. 

“Tell me, god fucking hell, Soonyoung, tell me that this is not the house the party is at.”

Soonyoung blinked, his arm wrapped around your waist to steady you after you had almost tripped.

“Uh… it’s not?” He tried, but judging by the way he said it, you knew it wasn’t true. You closed your eyes. Pinched the bridge of your nose.

“Soonyoung-ah,” you start, “was your source Joshua?”

Silence. Soonyoung stays fucking silent. You feel heat arise within you and it’s not the kind you had felt earlier when you had asked him to join you in the shower. It’s anger, fueled by Soonyoung’s carelessness and his obvious stupidity. Bringing you to a party at Joshua’s place? Joshua who was roommates with Mingyu? Mingyu, who you had been ignoring for the past week, who had called you and texted you, the only thing missing was him barging through your door! 

“I’m sorry! See, I thought you would never go if you knew!”

“Well, you’re correct! Do you know how many of them will be there? Haven’t I been through enough already?!” You slapped his shoulder and Soonyoung winced, holding the spot with wide eyes.

“Oh, come on! I get it, alright? You fucked it up with Jiwoo. Jesus, so did I!”

Now it’s you who blinked at him, confused.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, did you forget that she also has to fuck people? A significantly lower number than you, yes, but still! And, well- I was one of them.”

It didn’t surprise you, not really. But it still made something inside you sting.

“And why did you fuck it up with her?” You asked quietly. Soonyoung sighed.

“When I heard about your fight I took your side. I told her that there are worse things than you sleeping with her brother. That, even though I understand it sucks that you lied to her, it wasn’t like you killed someone, or did something illegal. You just slept with him!”

Yeah, and kind of gave him hope there would be more. After the challenge. You pressed your lips together. 

“But, well, Jiwoo didn’t like it. And she kind of guessed that I knew about it.”

“You like her, don’t you?” You found yourself asking him the second he finished his sentence, catching him off guard. He cleared his throat, fixing the collar on his jacket.

“It’s not that I didn’t like her, Y/N. But she went completely nuts over this, so out of character. I was confused and hurt that she threw this at me, that she said I owed it to her. As if because we were seeing each other casually, mind you, she still had other people to fuck, I suddenly became only hers and not your friend.”

They were seeing each other. Your stomach dropped and you felt like you were about to actually pass out.

“You were seeing her? And you still- you still had sex with me today?!”

“Woah, okay, I see how this can be confusing, but, Y/N, it was never serious. It wasn’t exclusive. We slept together a couple of times and had a few dates, but that’s it! I’m pretty sure I saw you more than her.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You watched his face, saw the way his eyes shift, how the wheels turn behind them and something told you, that you probably already knew the answer. You decided to stay silent.

“I just- I don’t know, I really don’t know.”

It was a lie, but neither of you exposed it as such. 

-

You ended up inside anyway. Fleeing from whatever was going on with Soonyoung, you were in desperate need of a drink. The familiar space was packed with people - courtesy of the apartment being big enough to hold that many. In addition to Mingyu’s room and the bathroom, there was a relatively big kitchen, a living space and, of course, Joshua’s room. The doors to the bedrooms were closed and upon seeing Mingyu’s, you felt guilt and shame creep up your spine. He was here somewhere, maybe drinking, maybe kissing another girl. And if that last thing turned out to be true, you knew you couldn’t even be mad at him. You had basically abandoned him for a week. After he had proven to be incredibly sweet and understanding, you had decided to just ignore him, to leave him in the dark, to forget all about him. 

While you did see a few familiar faces (Seungkwan was chatting with Minghao in the kitchen and Jun was downing a bottle of vodka with a guy you didn’t know), Mingyu was nowhere to be seen. Only when you reached the living room did you spot one one of the hosts. Joshua was wearing a tight dark blue turtle-neck and perfectly fitting black slacks, his hair was up and only a few strands fell into his remarkable face. He spotted you right as you walked through the door, a hint of surprise on his face. He excused himself to the girl he was talking to and walked over to you, eyebrow raised.

“Y/N,” he said, “you’re alive.”

You deserved that. Maybe not from him, but in general. You cleared your throat.

“Seems like it.”

“Where were you? I had to physically restrict Mingyu from running to your place countless times.”

Your heart dropped once more on this night. Heat erupted on your face and you let your head drop for just a second, before looking back up at the man who had been the one to start off this stupid challenge.

“I was at home. I… wasn’t feeling too well. Is Mingyu here?”

Joshua didn’t seem too pleased with your answer, but decided to not pester you any further. Instead, he shook his head as he crossed his arms.

“Not yet. He is getting more drinks. Speaking of, should we get you one?” 

You followed Joshua back to the kitchen, Soonyoung somewhere lost in the crowd, apparently. After your little talk, he had excused himself to the bathroom first thing and if you were being honest, you weren’t too keen on seeing him right now anyway. You let Joshua mix you a drink, thanking him with a more or less honest smile when he handed it to you. He himself took a sip from the fresh bottle of beer he had taken for himself out of the fridge, eyeing you over it now.

“Mingyu told me about the challenge.”

You almost dropped your cup. 

“He did what?”

“Ah, don’t be mad at him. He kind of tells me everything, you know,” Joshua’s smug smile made you want to punch him in the face. You decided against it mainly because causing a scene wasn’t on your to do list tonight. Neither was talking to Joshua, though. Still, here you were. 

“So, does this mean I was number one?” Jesus Christ, you rolled your eyes.

“Yes. And that’s the only number one you’ll ever be in my book.”

“Ouch.” He was still grinning. Even more than before. How on earth could he have played the part as the cute and innocent barista so well, when in reality he was nothing but a cocky fuck boy? It was official: you needed to get away from him asap. But when you turned, you suddenly felt like your feet had been glued to the ground because why the fuck was Vernon walking into the kitchen right then and there?

He saw you the same time you did and the look on his face was a mixture of shock and confusion. It had been weeks since the… incident at Mr. Choi’s office and while he hadn’t seen you in the flesh since then, he sure as hell had thought of you. His cheeks began burning when he saw the suspicion in your eyes and when you came over to him and his two friends, he literally felt like all of his wet dreams and fantasies about you were suddenly out on display. 

“Did Seungcheol send you?” Was the first thing you said to him and poor, poor Vernon could only shake his silly head and point at Hyunggu and Seungyoun over his shoulder with a shaking hand.

“N-No, I came with my friends.” You followed where he was pointing with your eyes and the two young men behind him waved at you rather confusedly. You clicked your tongue and nodded, turning back to look at Vernon. 

Vernon, who was out of the usual suit you had seen him in before. He was wearing a dark t-shirt and dark jeans, a necklace adjourning his slim upper body. His hair was messy, but a good kind of messy, that kind of messy you wanted to claw your hands into. Taking a sip from your drink, you contemplated. Seeing Vernon here, out of all places, seemed almost too much of a nudge in his direction. When Seungcheol hadn’t been the one to send him here and it was pure coincidence, didn’t this mean something? As much as it had bothered you that Seungcheol had wanted to decide this challenge for you, it now seemed to come in handy. 

Licking over your lips, you took another step towards Vernon, one hand reaching for the small cross necklace he was wearing and letting it slip through your fingers. Your eyes stayed on the silver for a second before looking up and seeing his gaze, his red cheeks and the mouth that hung slightly agape. You smiled.

“How do you know the hosts?” You asked. Vernon needed a few seconds to regain composure.

“I, uh, I don’t actually. Hyunggu is, uhm, he works at the same coffee shop as J-Joshua.” He explained and you nodded, still playing with the jewelry. The poor man in front of you was close to losing his mind once more. 

“I see. Well, this seems fated, doesn’t it, Vernon?” Your voice was merely a whisper when you leaned forward, your lips meeting his ear, causing a shiver to run down his spine. Vernon didn’t know what to say to that. In fact, he didn’t know what to say ever again. His ability to speak had been ripped from him - by you and the way you looked at him, the way your breath hit his neck and ear. 

The thing was - you had kind of ruined everything for him. There was no porn he could watch that could even come close to what had happened at Mr. Choi’s office. At some point he had tried finding women who looked like you in the videos, tried to replace your image with theirs, but nothing would work. More often than not he would find himself with his hand full of lube, eyes squeezed shut, imagining you and the way your pussy had looked all wet and ready just that this time it was his cock that was about to fuck you stupid. 

So, when he felt your hand wrap around his wrist he didn’t even think about stopping you. He let you lead him into one of the bedrooms, let you sit him down on the bed, your legs on either side of him as you began straddling him. His head was in a haze, no thought to be thunk, only your lips on his, your tongue inside his mouth and finally your hips grinding against his extremely hard cock. 

Somehow his hands had landed on your back while yours laid on his shoulders, slowly moving up to cup his face as you kept on grinding down on him. Vernon’s head was spinning. 

“You’re so hard already, can feel you against my pussy, Vernonie…,” you whined against his ear and his eyes opened, looking at you as if you were the most precious thing on this earth. No words were able to leave his mouth, though. He could only nod and move his arms around you, finding himself rutting his erection against your core, catching you off guard. The moan that escaped you got him close to cumming right then and there.

“F-fuck, bet you can fuck me so good, baby,” you said before moving down to kiss his neck, his hips still moving up, chasing his own high.

“Shit!” His eyes rolled back when you found an especially sensitive spot on his neck, your tongue dragging over it just as your hand opened his jeans and slipped into them and his briefs - causing Vernon’s eyes to fly open and look at you in shock.

“W-wait I-,” he began, but the second your hand touched his bare cock, he couldn’t stop it. 

“O-oh, n-gh, f-fuck,” he whimpered as he came onto your hand and into his underwear - thick ropes of white and hot cum leaving you with your mouth dropped in surprise. 

His head dropped onto your shoulder as he tried to steady his breathing. Shame crept over him and he swallowed hard before he dared to look at you again.

“I’m sorry, I, fuck, I, uh- I’m a virgin.”

And scene. 

“You’re a what?” You stumbled out, the shock ever so present on your face. Vernon felt his face heat up.

“A... a virgin.”

Slowly, you pulled your hand out of his pants, looking at the stickiness he had left on it for a second before licking it off, your eyes not leaving his face. Vernon felt his cock twitch and a whimper escaping him. You were gonna be the death of him, he just knew it.

“Cheol doesn’t know that, does he?” You asked once your hand was clean and Vernon was already a little hard again. Vernon shook his head and you sighed.

“Well, I certainly won’t take your virginity for this stupid challenge, so…,” you stood up from his lap and looked at the mess he (or you?) had made, clicking your tongue before looking around the room and walking to one of the drawers on the side. You haven’t been in Joshua’s room before, but you definitely had not wanted to take Vernon to Mingyu’s room to fuck him. Or, well, not fuck him. You opened the first drawer and found yourself successful, grabbing one of Joshua's neatly folded pairs of underwear and throwing it at Vernon who caught it, with a somewhat horrified look on his face.

“Change into that. Don’t want you walking around with pants full of cum, baby.” You winked at him, and Vernon turned even more red. He mumbled a quick thank you and you chuckled, closing the drawer again, before walking to the door to go back to the party. 

Just that, once the door was open, you were met by yet another familiar face. Chan was leaning against the wall, talking to some girl, a drink in his hand. When the door opened, it was more like a reflex to look at who came out - never had he expected to see you or the dude stumbling over his own feet behind you. His brows shot up and your jaw tightened. 

“Now, who do we have here,” he says, the girl next to him forgotten, “you don’t pass up any dick, do you?” 

Your veins began burning. Anger, raw and so real like back when Chan and you had seen each other last. Your hands were balled into fists in no time and you somehow succeeded in moving, ready to leave the party for all you cared, but Chan was quicker than you. He grabbed your wrist and held you back, pushing you into the kitchen, where music was now blasting as well, music that rang in your ears as you were pressed against the wall right next to the door. 

“What the fuck do you want?” You spat out, trying to free yourself, but Chan just grinned down at you, his head slightly tilted.

“Just trying to make sense of you, princess,” was his awful reply. You scoffed, shaking your head and looking to the side, seeing that Vernon had escaped the bedroom now, closing the door and hurrying into the living room. 

“You should leave me alone,” you breathed out finally and Chan leaned forward, his lips right by your ear.

“I can’t really hear you, you know?”

You closed your eyes. Was he kidding? He had dragged you in here. He had chosen this god forsaken kitchen as the place he wanted to talk to you in. When you opened your eyes again, you saw in his eyes what you hadn’t before. Want, need. He was desperate for you. He craved you - had probably been lurking around your apartment, hoping to catch a glimpse of you. But you hadn’t come out, you had stayed inside and now that he finally saw you… 

“You shouldn’t look at me like that,” you say now, his eyes still boring into yours. Something flickers in them now, hurt maybe, or something totally different. You just know that his jaw is suddenly tightened and one hand is on your waist, grabbing you roughly. 

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“Says who?”

“I do. Did you fuck that guy?”

“Fuck you, Chan.” 

There was too much tension between you. More than back then in the elevator. His breath hit your face, his brows furrowed. 

“Did you fuck that guy?”

“What is it to you if I did?” You spat back at him. One of his hands was suddenly right there on your neck and your eyes widened at the sudden wave of want shaking your body.

“It’s an easy question, doll. Did you fuck him?”

His grab on your neck was almost too much to handle right now. Your pussy was crying into your panties and your head felt so far away, you feared it wasn’t even on your neck anymore. 

“No.”

You wished someone would walk in. One of the guys you had seen earlier. Soonyoung, for all you cared. Even Joshua would be fine - just anyone to get Chan away from you. All of the arousal from your make-out with Vernon was still fresh and with Chan’s hand on your body, you couldn’t guarantee anything. 

He was so close and he smelled so good. His face was mere inches from yours and if you moved just a tiny bit…

Chan was quicker than you. The thoughts were running around in his head ever since he saw you come out of that room, ever since he saw that random dude behind you. Jealous. That’s what he was. Jealous of some guy you had been in a room with by yourself and jealous of everyone who would come after. It was stupid and twisted, considering his brother was literally in love with you. His grip around your waist got stronger and suddenly his nose was touching yours, both of your mouths opened in a breathy gasp and when he saw the way your eyes fluttered close, there was literally no way around kissing you anymore.

It didn’t start out sweet or slow, no, Chan was full on kissing you like he knew you wanted to be kissed. His tongue was right there, his other hand on your chin, moving your head up so he could dip his tongue easier into your awaiting mouth. You moaned into the kiss, heat between your legs now accompanied by throbs that made you press your thighs together. Chan pressed himself against you, felt every curve of your body and wished he could just take you right here and now. But there were people around, drunk people, people who might not mind you any business, but still people. And so, he grabbed your hand after parting from you and taking you to the bedroom you had just left, the door falling shut behind you, his lips on you again right then. Hands were back on your waist and he groaned when he felt your hands feeling him up, sliding underneath his shirt and down, pressing against his bulge. 

“Wanna fuck you so bad,” you breathed and Chan bit down on your lip, nodding because, fuck, he wanted that too. It’s stupid, really, there is a bed right behind you, but Chan was greedy, Chan maybe even wanted someone to notice, wanted to get caught red handed, his cock in your tight pussy. He wanted everyone to know he got you, not Wonwoo.

Your hands moved to open his belt and you shoved his jeans and briefs down at the same time, have them pool at his ankles, your hungry eyes looking between his face and hard cock that laid against his stomach. Skilfully, you grabbed around the base of his cock and started jerking him off, Chan moaning against your neck as he tugged your dress up and panties down. 

“Your fucking dripping, baby,” he breahed into your ear and you nodded, looking up at him with a pout.

“Fuck my dripping pussy, Channie, need you so bad.”

He didn’t need to hear that again. He grabbed his cock after you dropped it, your head banging against the door behind you, and brought it to your pussy, sinking into you a second later, your one leg wrapped around his slim waist. 

“God, fuck, that’s right, such a wet tight pussy just for me.”

He began to move right away, devouring your lips with his as his hips frantically fucked into you. Your hands held onto his shoulders, eyes closed shut and skin on fire from desire. He fucked into you quick and hard, hitting you right where you needed him to and, fuck, did it feel good. Felt so good that you already felt yourself nearing an orgasm. 

Chan’s breath hit your face again when he parted from you and leaned back, his eyes studying you as he continued to fuck you. You still had your eyes closed, which meant Chan could look at you all he wanted. His cock was twitching wildly at how your face looked, how your mouth was dropped open at how fucked out you looked, at how much you were into this. He licked over his lips, hands grabbing your hips harshly, thrusts becoming sloppier the closer he felt to release.

“Craved your pussy so much, baby, look at how good you take my cock, shit.”

Your eyes fluttered open again, Chan staring at you making your stomach turn and your cunt clench around him, a moan escaping you when he picked up the pace once more, the door literally banging from the movement. There was no way people who passed wouldn’t notice. 

“Ch-Chan!” You cried out, and he smirked, continuing what he was doing.

“What is it, doll? You scared people will know that you’re getting fucked like the filthy whore you are?” He slowed down his thrusts just for a moment, your whimpers music to his ears.

“Pl-please,” you didn’t even know what you were begging for but Chan just chuckled, finally pulling out of you to lead you to the bed, where he told you to get on all fours. You did as told, your pussy aching for his cock to come back and fuck you. You wiggled your hips just when Chan slipped back into you, a harsh slap landing on your ass.

“So impatient, slut. Don’t worry, I’ll make you cum on this cock.”

He went back to fucking you hard and quick, your moans filling the room and making Chan move even quicker. He was so close to emptying his load in your warmth.

“Don’t stop, oh fuck!” Your walls clenched around him multiple times, letting Chan know that he had in fact made you cum on his cock. He kneaded your ass, slapping it as he fucked you through your orgasm, closing in on his own with every passing second.

“So good for me, came so prettily on my cock, my perfect little whore, isn’t that right?” One of his hands now moved, grabbing a fistful of your hair to pull you against his chest, his cock seemingly vibrating inside of you, overstimulation making you cry out.

“Want you to cum in me, Chan, want you to so bad!”

Somehow your words were like a spell, getting Chan to do exactly as you had told him to the next second. Hot spurts of cum filled your spent pussy that was now milking him for all he had.

“Fuck! Yes, take it all, every last drop, that’s right.”

Chan thrusted into you a few more times, sloppy and uncontrollable, his cock finally slipping out of you, accompanied by his own release that now dripped onto Joshua’s bed sheets. He couldn’t stop staring at your pretty pussy filled with his cum. Gosh, he really wanted to take a picture of this. 

You were the first one to come back to her senses. You turned around, seeing your panties and his pants and underwear laying on the floor by the door and you climbed off the bed to grab it all, put your own on and hand Chan his clothes. 

“Well,” you started, clearing your throat as you pulled your dress back down. Chan was back in his underwear and suddenly unable to look at you. What a joke.

“This probably shouldn’t have happened,” you finished then, feeling your own conscience starting to grow extremely guilty. Not to mention that you felt just extremely… yeah, what even? At this point there was nothing to say about you. How long had you been at this party? Thirty minutes? And you had already made out with Vernon, had made poor Vernon cum in his pants and now you had fucked Chan? Chan, who you had sworn to never fuck again because it was obvious you shouldn’t. Maybe Soonyoung’s idea to get out of the house had been a bad one after all. 

“Yeah. It shouldn’t have.” Chan didn’t look at you, he in fact couldn’t bear to do so. Guilt flooded him, making it almost impossible to even leave the room. Wonwoo was out there somewhere, drinking, dancing, not knowing you were here and most definitely not knowing his own little brother had betrayed him. Again. Chan sighed pulling his jeans back up and trying to fight the urge to just stay in here and wait this party out. 

With nothing but static sounds in your ear did you move to open the door, hand already around the knob. 

“If he wasn’t in the picture,” Chan’s voice suddenly cut through the silence and you stopped midway opening the door, “would you think about it?”

Your heart ached at his question and you closed your eyes. You really had a talent for making people fall for you only to disappoint them. 

“I don’t think the answer I have is the one you want.”

Even though he would never admit it, Chan felt his heart break a little at that. He knew it was stupid. Liking you was the exact opposite of what he should’ve done. You were just a girl he slept with once. You were the girl his brother had been talking about all this time, the one he had been hopelessly in love with. 

It wasn’t fair, really. That the cute neighbor turned out to be you. That the girl he wanted to see again so badly after that first fateful meeting in the hallway was the one his brother wanted. In all his years living on this earth, he had never hated Wonwoo. His older brother had always been his favorite person in the entire world. But now? In this exact moment he hated him. 

“Is it because of my brother?” He finally asked and you turned around to look at him.

“No, it’s not. I promise you, he has nothing to do with this.”

Chan moved his head and looked at you, nodding slightly. He would probably feel guilty about feeling relieved in a few hours, but right now he enjoyed the knowledge you wouldn’t go for his brother. 

With one last smile, you finally turned to open the door, Chan right behind you. 

And that was when time seemed to stop for both of you. 

Of course this would happen because how could it not? How could you ever walk out of this room without any problem, without anyone seeing you. It was like ice was somehow replacing the blood in your veins, making you shiver, making you freeze. 

Wonwoo stood there, right in front of the bedroom, just like Chan had earlier. And as if that wasn’t bad enough - Mingyu stood right there next to him. 

You heard Chan’s gasp right when Wonwoo and Mingyu looked at you. Saw your disheveled hair, Chan’s not fully closed belt. The guilt in his eyes, the shock in yours. It took Wonwoo everything in him not to drop his glass at the sight. 

“Tell me this is not what it looks like.”

Where his voice came from, he couldn’t tell. He just heard it, felt it ringing in his ears after. When neither you nor Chan began speaking and only continued to stare at him, he felt his jaw tightening and his body move. Without knowing where he was headed, he ran out of the apartment, leaving you and Chan behind with nothing but the biting feeling of a guilty conscience. Your eyes briefly met Mingyu’s, before you followed Chan, who was now running after his brother.

Cold air was giving you an unwelcome hug when you reached downstairs, Wonwoo standing on the side of the road, seemingly trying to catch a cab.

“Hyung, wait!” Chan called out for him and Wonwoo let his arm drop down - there wasn’t a cab around anyways. God, why didn’t he take his own car? Why did he have to get here with Mingyu and why did he plan on crashing here? Why had he even decided to come here in the first place?

When Chan finally reached him, Wonwoo slowly turned around. As much as you wanted to deny it - seeing Wonwoo this way made your heart clench painfully. Coming to a halt behind Chan, you suddenly felt like maybe you shouldn’t have followed them.

“Hyung,” Chan started again, looking at his brother with pleading eyes, “I’m sorry, I- I know what this must look like to you.”

“It looks like you slept with the girl I’ve been telling you about for weeks, yeah.”

Chan swallowed. 

“He didn’t know, Wonwoo. Neither did I, when we slept together - we didn’t know.”

“But you knew today, didn’t you?”

Chan and you shared a quick glance and Wonwoo scoffed, looking away for a second, before he pushed his hands into the pockets of his jacket and stared back at you.

“Mingyu told me, actually. That you two- that this happened. And I was planning on letting it slide because as you said, you didn’t know. But tonight? You knew and you still-,” Wonwoo closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

“You know, I’m not even mad at you, Y/N. Because I don’t expect anything else from you. You take and take and take and you never ever think about the consequences of your actions. You simply don’t give a fuck about anyone’s feelings and some fucked up part of me admires you for it. How easy it must be to go through life not caring about anyone but yourself.”

Any other day his words might have made you feel a different way. Maybe you would have felt offended, angry even. But right now? You knew he was right, felt it in your bones that his words couldn’t be any more true. Averting your gaze, you looked at your feet, not allowing yourself to cry.

“You, though,” he was talking to Chan now and even though something inside you itched to step in, you didn’t, “you knew who she is, what she means to me. And you still did this?”

“Hyung, I’m sorry, I truly am, I don’t know what to tell you.” Chan sounded just as broken as you felt and it took everything in you to not put a hand on his shoulder to offer some comfort. 

“That makes two of us, Channie. I also don’t know what to tell you.”

Wonwoo finally turned around to walk off and when he walked around the next corner, Chan finally moved again, pulling both hands through his hair, before turning around and spotting none other than Mingyu stepping outside. Anger rushed through Chan, but you stopped him before he could do anything.

“Let me talk to him, Chan,” you said quietly and while Chan looked like he didn’t want to listen to you, he ended up nodding and storming off, back inside. 

Once he was gone, you took a few steps closer to Mingyu who looked at you with a blank face. He didn’t feel bad about telling Wonwoo, you could tell. You could also tell that he was mad at you, if because of the ghosting or the fact he had caught you with Chan, you didn’t know. Sighing, you shrugged slightly and looked up at him.

“When did you tell him?”

“Around three days after you suddenly disappeared.”

“You’re angry at me.”

“You think?”

Mingyu had never looked at you like this before. Like he was actually mad, like there was something seriously wrong. 

“I’m sorry for not texting back, for not calling you back, Mingyu, I truly am. Something happened and I just closed off. Not just you, I- I just turned my phone off and didn’t think.”

“I was worried about you.” He took a step closer. You felt his warmth and closed your eyes, even let him put his hand on your cheek. That was until you remembered Wonwoo’s face, the way he had looked at Chan. And that’s when you realized something.

“You told Wonwoo about Chan,” you started, your eyes back open and looking at him, “but you didn’t tell him about you.” 

Mingyu’s jaw twitched, his hand slowly falling from your face again. He didn’t have to confirm it with words for you to know your assumption is correct. 

“How can you do this to him?” Now, you felt the tears behind your eyes that you had held back the entire day. Mingyu licked over his drying lips and let out a bitter laugh.

“Why is it always him you’re worried about? Why does it matter that he liked you first, why do my feelings not matter to you, Y/N? This isn’t fair.”

“No one ever said this is fair, Mingyu. This whole situation is fucked up, this has nothing to do with fairness. If I was smart, I’d just stop right here. I’d leave you alone, I’d never speak to any of those guys upstairs again. But I can’t because I’m selfish, because I don’t want to leave you alone, I don’t want to never speak to them again. I’m selfish because somehow I still can’t let go of things I know shouldn’t be mine.”

“I am yours, Y/N, I have been yours since the day you stepped foot into the office, the first time you kissed me. How can I prove to you that I don’t care about any of this?”

Both of his hands were on your cheeks now and his thumbs wiped away the tears that began to fall. 

“Mingyu, you know it’s wrong, you know it’s not fair. Not to you or Wonwoo or anyone else. I can’t just accept you as mine when it’s so clear Wonwoo will never forgive you, not after Chan.”

“I don’t care. I love you, I want to be with you.”

“You don’t mean that. You shouldn’t mean that.”

Even though it took everything in you, you let your hands wrap around his wrists, lifting his hands from your face.

“Y/N…,” he whispers, but you shake your head, another set of tears dripping down your cheeks.

“We can’t do this anymore. I appreciate you wanting to wait, but even if I were to finish this stupid challenge, I don’t think you and I should be together.”

Mingyu heard your words and he understood them. Every single one of them reached his brain and a part of him even agreed with them. But looking at you, seeing the face he had been seeing in his dreams for the past months, the one he had missed so much when you had left him the first time - that part fell extremely small. The bigger part wanted to reach for you, tell you how wrong you were. No one would be as good for you as him, no one understood you the way he did. Yes, Wonwoo was his friend, maybe even his best friend, but you… you were his. Everything about you was made for him and it didn’t make any sense for you to not see that. He knew you did, he knew you felt the same. But, apparently, your conscience won over your heart this time.

“Don’t do this,” he heard himself say and you pressed your lips together, shaking your head again.

“Mingyu, it’s for the best. I am not- I am not good. Something inside me is rotten, I feel like… I feel like I’ve lost who I am in the past few months. I did things because I was being selfish and I need to stop. I already lost my best friend, I can’t lose myself too.”

You let go of his wrists now, looking up at him with a sad smile. You hoped he knew that if you had met under different circumstances you would love to be with him. 

When you left, Mingyu stayed back, staring at the spot you had just stood in. And, somehow, he didn’t believe that this was the end of you two just yet.

-

You sat down on the bench of one of the bus stations near Mingyu’s apartment complex, about to get your phone out to text Soonyoung - when you realized that he still had it. Groaning, you let your head fall back against the glass behind you. Wonderful. Just great, really. He would probably drop it off tomorrow once he realized you weren’t at the party anymore. Maybe it was better this way - not having your phone close to get any ideas about texting Mingyu. Or Seungcheol. Another groan left you. Seungcheol. The fact he hadn’t sent a whole SWAT team into your apartment was probably thanks to Jiwoo. Maybe he didn’t want to see you again after talking to his sister. And maybe that was right. If you couldn’t see Mingyu anymore, you probably shouldn’t see Cheol anymore too. 

“Y/N?” A voice made you open your eyes, surprise visible in your face when you saw Vernon parked in front of the bus station, passenger seat window down as he looked at you with worry.

“Vernon? You’re already leaving?” 

“Yeah, I, uh, thought that maybe this was enough socializing for the next couple of weeks.”

The way he awkwardly smiled made you laugh. Nodding, you let your eyes roam over his car. It’s nice - not as nice as the car he drives for Cheol, but definitely on the more expensive side. Vernon clears his throat.

“Do you need a ride?”

It probably took a lot of courage for him to ask you this. Smiling, you thanked him, getting up from the bench and walking over to his car, opening the door and plopping down onto the passenger seat.

“Guess you won’t need the address,” you joked and he blushed, still with a small smile playing on his lips.

“Yeah. I think I got that covered.”

You drove in comfortable silence. The city was still alive since it wasn’t that late and you watched strangers laugh on the street, drink in some of the booths standing around town. A part of you wished to be as carefree as them, but you figured that this would take a while for you to gain back. Not caring and going out, making friends without thinking about how you could possibly get them into your bed. It was crazy, really, how much this challenge had affected your life, how now, three months after the idea had left Jiwoo’s lips, she wasn’t even your friend anymore. 

“Can I ask you something?” Vernon spoke into the silence and you turned to look at him, nodding.

“Sure.”

“Okay so, I know that Mr. Choi kind of told me to, uh, sleep with you and… I also know that you are now aware of me… never having been with someone like that,” he began and you frowned slightly, unsure what he was going to say next, “if I am honest with you, Y/N, ever since that time in Mr. Choi’s office, I… couldn’t stop thinking about you. Not… not in a romantic sense, more like, as in-,” he scratched his head, trying hard to find the right words for what he wanted to say, “as in I think I actually need you to take my virginity, or else I’ll probably never be able to get this out of my head.”

Oh. You raised your eyebrows, blinking at Vernon a few times, the words still registering in your brain. Then, when it finally clicked, you broke out into an honest laugh, catching Vernon off guard.

“I’m- I’m serious!” He whined and you nodded, waving with your hand as if to signal you weren’t really laughing at him.

“No- No, I know. And I am flattered, but-,” you let yourself look at him again and when you spotted the earnest look on his face, your laugh faltered, making space for a smile that somehow even spread to your heart.

“I know it’s a weird request. But I’m just a guy Y/N. And you, quite literally, have been taking over my mind. I just- I would be incredibly happy if you would… do that. And of course I understand if you’re not into it, but I thought I could at least ask and-,”

“Okay,” you interrupted him, Vernon now being the one to blink at you a few times when he stopped at a red light.

“Okay?” He repeated and you nodded.

“Yeah. Okay. I’ll do it. We, you and I, can do it. Not tonight though, I’ve had, uh, quite the evening and would just like to fall into bed. By myself.”

Vernon felt like he had just seen the gates of heaven and he wasn’t even naked in bed with you yet. Quickly, he nodded, continuing the drive when the light turned green, a wide smile on his lips as he realized you had really just said yes to his insane request.

“Sure! I get that, I, uh, we can definitely do it another day, I’m fine with that. You can call me, I- you have my number, right?”

-

Soonyoung ended up bringing your phone over the next day, not even staying for a chat and not even able to look you in the eyes. Your jaw hurt from how hard you were biting down, knowing exactly why he was behaving this way. Thanking him and slapping the door closed, you sighed and fell back onto your couch, plugging your phone into the charger and waiting for it to turn on. 

Going through your messages was a true pain. Mingyu wondering where you were (before the party, obviously), asking if he had done something wrong, telling you he was gonna come over. You closed your eyes, holding back the stupid tears that wanted to slip out again. You should really get a fucking grip. Mingyu had been part of the challenge, nothing more! He should have never become more than that, should have never become someone you actually cared about as much as you did now. 

You deleted his chat, not even opening the messages. Then, you moved on to Seungcheol. Your next big problem. While he did text you several times, he did seem to understand you needed your time and space and he was willing to give it to you. 

But I just need you to understand that I am serious about this, about you. I want to be with you.

Seungcheol’s words suddenly barged into your mind, reminding you of the fact that he did in fact care about you, that he wanted you, that he didn’t care about anything else. Sighing, you closed the messenger app and instead opened your contacts, choosing his and pressing the call button. 

He picked up after the second ring.

“Y/N,” the way he said your name soothed you right then and there. 

“Cheol…,” you breathed out, feeling another set of tears wanting to break through.

“Are you okay?” He asked and you could hear him moving, making you wonder about whether he was at home or in the office on this Sunday morning. 

“Not really, if I’m gonna be honest,” you replied, turning over so you laid on your back now, “but I will get there. Eventually.”

You could imagine him nodding, could imagine the worried frown on his face.

“I am so sorry about my sister,” he then said and you shrugged, smiling sadly to yourself.

“It’s not your fault. She had every right to be mad at me.”

“No, she didn’t. And I told her that. I talked to her, tried to make her see that she is completely overreacting. Yes, I am her brother and, yes, we should have just told her, but she is making this a bigger deal than it ever had to be.”

“Maybe. But as you said, we should have told her. I should have told her. Instead I told her a lie about a businessman I met at the hotel, instead I kept on lying to her for weeks, I avoided her, scared to accidentally let it slip. Yeah, what she said to me was… harsh and it did hurt me. But I deserved it, Cheol.”

You heard him sigh on the other line.

“Baby, you didn’t deserve it. We all make mistakes, we are humans. She acted like you killed someone.”

The usage of the pet-name made your stomach flutter. Chuckling lightly, sadness still audible, you let your hand rest on your forehead.

“I can’t really change the situation now. She didn’t contact me at all while I had my phone off. We had fights before, but never like this.”

“Just give her time. She’ll come around.”

Around to what? You didn’t dare ask the question. 

“Yeah, maybe,” you just said and swallowed hard, licking over your lips after.

“If you need anything, call me, okay? I’m here for you,” he paused, “and Jeonghan is back. So, if you want to finish what you started - you can.”

Finish what you started. At this point you weren’t even sure you wanted that. 

“I’ll call you. Bye, Cheol.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

-

Vernon picked you up in the car he drove for Cheol a day later. 

You kept telling yourself this wasn’t for your challenge, but for Vernon. He had asked this of you. He wanted you to do this for him. It didn’t matter that you could beat the challenge because the sole reason for it wasn’t your friend anymore. Still, even with all of this in the back of your mind, your pride remained right there, wanting you to do this for yourself, prove to yourself that you could finish this even when wounded and on the floor with nothing left. 

So, when Vernon parked the car on a high spot with a beautiful view of the city and the two of you were making out on the spacious backseat - you allowed yourself to count this towards the challenge you so desperately wanted to leave behind you.

Vernon’s hands were careful, shy even, placed on your hips as his mouth discovered yours, his tongue slowly moving against your own. You wanted to let him find his pace but when he didn’t try to make a move fifteen minutes in, you decided to take the lead. Quickly, you moved onto his lap, straddling him like back at the party, your hands cupping his face as you kissed him deeper this time, tongue licking sensually against his and he whimpered underneath you - absolute music to your ears. 

“Touch me, I know you want to,” you whispered into his ear then and he swallowed hard before letting his hands slip to your back and down, fingers almost clawing into your ass, your hips beginning to grind against him.

“Fuck,” he breathed, his cock already rock hard in his pants. You chuckled, kissing his neck and letting your finger glide under his shirt, pulling it over his head skilfully, his hands landing right back on your ass once he was shirtless in front of you. You licked over your lips and moved to kiss down his neck, tongue flicking against his skin and finally his nipple, the moan coming out of Vernon’s mouth deliciously ringing in your ears. He dared to move your shirt up as well, helping you get rid of it and he immediately groped your breasts, his eyes glued to them still covered by pretty dark red lace. You smiled smugly, fingers caressing his abs and chest, thumb and index softly pinching his nipple and making him throw his head back.

“Feels good,” he mumbled and you giggled, doing it again. The way he pushed his hips up, searching for friction had your pussy dripping into your panties. You happily continued, lips back to kissing his neck and chin, moving up to his mouth where he gladly welcomed you with his tongue searching for yours. God, he was eager and you loved it. 

“Keep telling me what feels good, Nonie, wanna make you feel so so good.” Your voice was dripping in honey and Vernon nodded rapidly, reaching for your face to kiss you again and you let your hands wander down to open his jeans, hoping the incident at the party wouldn’t repeat itself. Vernon was concentrating on your lips on his, on the way your skin was warm under his fingertips, on how good it felt to kiss you and to have you on top of him. When you touched him over his boxer-briefs, he did moan into the kiss, but he didn’t fear coming undone like last time - he had jerked off twice this morning to prevent that from happening. 

“So hard for me already, bet you have such a pretty dick, baby.”

He twitched under your hand now, his long eyelashes fluttering as he watched you - how you sat up, biting down on your red bottom lip, your fingers pushing down his pants and underwear so his cock could spring free. 

“I knew it, so pretty, Nonie.”

Your hand around his cock did not make him cum, but it did make a good load of pre-cum leak out of him, his face red as he watched your thumb carefully collecting all of it, smearing it over his shaft and using it as lube for your hand that now grabbed around him. Vernon couldn’t help the pathetic little cries when you began jerking him off.

“Y-yeah, j-just like that.” His eyes rolled back and you watched him in awe, taking in every single one of his pretty sounds and the way his hips bucked up into your fist.

“Be a good boy and stay still for me, yeah, baby?” You grinned to yourself, seeing how he struggled while nodding, his teeth sinking into his lip, his eyes squeezed shut. He was incredibly pretty at that moment. 

Your hand moved quicker, getting him as hard as you could without making him cum. 

“F-feels really good,” Vernon sighed, his hands grabbing onto the seat underneath him, nails dragging into the leather. You watched him carefully and finally dropped his cock from your hand to rid yourself of pants and underwear. Vernon’s eyes flew open and he held his breath watching as you shifted, pants and panties slipping down your legs. 

“I would love to suck you off, baby, but I fear you’ll come right away and I really, really want your cum in my pussy.”

The whimper leaving Vernon now made you grab his cock and lead it to your dripping pussy. 

“F-fuck, I- I- oh my god,” Vernon’s hands found place on your back, eyes wide as he stared down at your pussy sinking down on his length, his whole brain working on not cumming the second his tip breached you. His head was spinning, his breath hitched once he allowed himself to breathe again and when you were fully sunken down, he felt his dick twitch wildly inside of you.

“Holy fucking shit.” His nails dug into your skin and you let your pussy get used to his size, arms wrapping around his neck, lips back to kissing him softly.

“Feel good?” You asked and he nodded, not able to speak, too busy concentrating on not shooting his load right then and there. 

What he did not expect was the feeling of you moving. How your walls felt around his virgin cock that was only used to his own hand. How tight you were, how warm, how perfect. There was no stopping the moans, the cries, the whimpers as you began riding his cock, your lips traveling from his neck to his lips, from his lips to his ears, sucking on his earlobe and making him push you harder against his chest.

“M-Mommy, f-feel so good.” The word slipped out and it rang in your ears, your pussy clenching around him, a smirk on your lips inevitable when you parted from him only to take a look at his face. 

He was lost in pleasure, but the fact he had said that was somehow displayed on his face as well. Your hands moved to your own back, unclasping your bra and letting it fall off your frame. Vernon twitched inside you once more.

“Such a good boy for Mommy, aren’t you, baby?” You brought his hands from your back to your front, placing them right there on your tits.

“I know you want Mommy’s tits in your hands and in your mouth, isn’t that right?” Vernon saw stars when your hips moved again and your tits almost slipped through his hands. Quickly, he nodded, beginning to grope at them harder, his mouth open as he watched how they looked in his hands, how soft they were, how good they felt. And when you pushed his head down, his face right there between your perfect tits, he almost couldn’t believe he hadn’t cum yet. 

With his tongue shooting out and lapping at you, you began riding his cock quicker, letting yourself lose, moans coming out of your throat that made the poor man feel like he was dying. He brought his lips to your nipple, sucking it into his mouth as he heard angel’s sing in his ears, tongue twirling around the hard bud. 

“Just like that, baby. Your cock feels so good in Mommy, gonna make me cum.” 

Vernon knew it wasn’t going to be long until he exploded, his spit running down your tits as he kissed and sucked on your skin, moving up to your neck and kissing your mouth again, hands still busy on your breasts. 

“Are you gonna cum for Mommy, Nonie? Are you gonna fill Mommy’s pussy with your cum?”

“Y-yes, gonna fill M-mommy up, pump her full, o-oh,” Vernon had never ever expected to last as long as he did. 

“That’s right, baby. Pump Mommy full, come on. Know you want to.”

The second the words had left your mouth, Vernon couldn’t help it anymore. He cried out, calling for you over and over as his cock twitched and twitched, hot cum filling your pussy, his hips fucking into you with absolute no control. You felt your own climax hit you just then with the way he kept on thrusting upwards, hitting you right there where you needed him. 

“Fuck!” You cried out, pussy tightening around his cock and he whimpered, overstimulation hitting him as you kept fucking yourself on his cock, the sound of your cum stuffed pussy riding his cock so lewd it literally caused his cock to grow in size again, all of the blood in Vernon’s body down there, all of his senses heightened but his brain completely shut off.

“Sh-shit, n-ngh, Mommy, please!” His cry made you look at him, the fucked out face having you clench around him again. He wasn’t done with you yet. Instead of letting his cock die down, he kept on fucking into you, his head now thrown back as he cried with every thrust, his hips showing you no mercy as he chased his pleasure. There was nothing you could do but enjoy, your mouth hanging open as you let him have his way with you, your hands back on his shoulders.

“You fuck Mommy so good, baby, come on, I know you wanna give me more, want all of it, Nonie, all of your delicious cum in my pussy, gonna make me so fucking proud.” 

His overstimulated but incredibly hard cock obeyed immediately. A second orgasm made Vernon’s body shake, more cum filling you as he cried, head falling forward onto your shoulder as exhaustion hit him next. He was still twitching wildly and you allowed yourself to fuck down on him until you yourself reached a second high, his whimpers telling you to keep going.

“W-wanna make Mommy cum,” he cried and you grabbed his face, seeing actual tear stains on it, kissed him softly.

“Made Mommy cum two times, baby, I am so proud of you, did so well for Mommy.”

A smile spread on Vernon’s lips, before his head dropped again, his chest heaving with great effort. 

As a good virginity-taker should, you held Vernon against your chest for a while after he had slipped out of you, his cock extremely sensitive. You had cleaned him and yourself up and helped him back into his boxer-briefs, finally letting him rest against your frame, as he came down from his high. 

“I’m sorry if this was a bit much,” he mumbled after a while and you chuckled, fingers caressing through his hair.

“It was all fine, don’t even worry about it, alright?” You kissed the top of his head and Vernon thanked you, squeezing your hand before lifting his head. You allowed him to kiss you when he wanted to and you agreed to grabbing some McDonald’s before parting ways. 

-

Having made the decision to end this challenge once and for all, you had called Seungcheol the day after your “date” with Vernon to tell him you were willing to meet that business partner of his. Setting a time and place (two days from then at Seungcheol’s company), you were content with finally finishing what you had started. Sure, a part of you felt devastated about the fact Jiwoo wouldn’t be there to share this with you. Maybe even a really big part. You decided to forget about this for the time being - after all there was still a chance Seungcheol was right and she would forgive you. 

When you arrived at the company that day, you mentally prepared yourself to, one, see Seungcheol and, two, see this stranger you’re supposed to let into your bed. You didn’t even know why you hadn’t asked Seungcheol for a picture or even any more information about Jeonghan, but then again you had been worried about a lot of other things. One that apparently had not been on your mind, was Seokmin. 

Seokmin who was talking to one of the women at the front desk and who, once he spotted you, seemed to stop mid sentence. You felt your cheeks heat up and your heart beating faster, remembering the last time you had seen him. Seungcheol had gotten you out of that situation rather quickly and a part of you had been worried that Seokmin would have to deal with repercussions - but since he was still here, you figured there hadn’t been any. 

“You’re here.” He said when you reached him, a small smile playing on his lips. You nodded and he excused himself to the woman, leading you through the gates with his ID card and to the familiar elevators.

“Meeting Mr. Yoon today, I heard.”

Yoon. Yoon Jeonghan? You frowned. What a strange coincidence. 

“Yes. What’s he like?”

“Well, he’s… something, for sure. Good looking, intelligent. Very well traveled, too.” 

The elevator pinged and the two of you walked inside, your hands tightly clasped around your purse.

“Right. And… is he nice?”

You looked over at Seokmin, who seemed like he really had to think about that question. 

“Uhm, well, I guess, “nice” wouldn’t be the first thing that comes to mind when I think of Mr. Yoon, but he is… he can be nice. If it benefits him.” Seokmin slowly turned his head, his eyes meeting yours.

“And I would assume in this situation, it would definitely benefit him.”

Smooth. Another heatwave met your cheeks and you averted your gaze, clearing your throat just in time for the elevator to come to a stop and open its doors. 

Seokmin let you out first, a quiet “thank you” leaving your lips as you stepped out, your head turning to face the way you knew Seungcheol’s office was - only to be met by something, or more someone you most certainly had not expected to see.

Jiwoo was standing there, right by the entrance to Seungcheol’s office space, talking to a man who’s face you couldn’t see.

“Ah, Mr. Yoon is already here.” Seokmin’s voice said next to you and you blinked, looking from him to Jiwoo and finally to who you presumed was Mr. Yoon. Yoon Jeonghan.

You stopped in your step, feet suddenly glued to the floor. Yoon Jeonghan had moved his head. His face was right there in your field of view. And Jiwoo’s hand was on his arm as she laughed about something he said. 

“Y/N?” Seokmin was visibly confused, but you couldn’t even hear him. There was only the sound of your own blood rushing in your ears, only the faint memory of a voice that belonged to the man standing right there.

I didn’t think it would be a big deal. Aren’t best friends supposed to share things?

You were taken back to the time Jiwoo and you had your first real big fight, to the way neither of you understood that it wasn’t any of you who was the problem but him. Him, who had lied to both of you, who had known you were best friends, who had taken advantage of both of your naivety. 

And now he stood here? In this very office building, being Jiwoo’s brother’s business partner? Your world was spinning and you only found your senses again when Seokmin’s hand landed on your shoulder and his worry was even more visible on his face.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” He asked and you looked at him, really looked at him, shaking your head as an answer. You didn’t say anything, instead you continued walking, your steps echoing against the walls of the space and finally Jiwoo and Jeonghan noticed you. 

While Jiwoo’s eyes widened in shock, Jeonghan remained oddly calm. Instead of surprise that it was you, there is a smug smile displayed on his lips as his eyes lingered on your body.

“As it turns out,” he began, “we do get a chance for that night we never had after all, Y/N.”

Your hands turned into fists - fists you were ready to throw at him. But before you could do that, you were interrupted by Jiwoo.

“Are you joking?” She gasped, looking between Jeonghan and you, “Is it not enough for you to drag my brother into this, now you’re going after my ex as well?!”

If the world wasn’t spinning anyways, you would have been sure it had started doing so right then. There it was again - the sound of your blood rushing in your ears.

“Your ex?” You croaked out, shaking your head in absolute confusion.

“First of all, I didn’t know he was the Jeonghan Cheol was talking about. And second of all, as far as i am concerned he is not your actual ex, you fucked like what, once? And then you broke it off right?”

You knew the answer even before asking the question. The Jiwoo standing in front of you, with her face pale and her jaw tightened - she was someone different from the Jiwoo you knew, but perhaps the realest version of her you had ever gotten.

“Well- well, yes! But-,”

“You’re lying,” you now interrupted her.

“I am not!”

“Yes, she is,” Jeonghan now chimed in, a smile on his lips you could only describe as mischievous. As if he knew he was stirring the pot.

“Oppa!” Jiwoo hissed and you felt your stomach drop right down to your feet.

“She wanted to break it off, she really did. But I guess she just couldn’t resist me. You will find out soon enough what that means, sweetheart.” His phone started ringing just then, a wink in your direction serving as his goodbye right before he began walking towards the other side of the floor to his own office space. 

You were shaking. Your whole body was in something like a trance. Jiwoo could only stare at the spot Jeonghan had just stood, blood rushing back into her face.

“You’re telling me that, even after you found out he had lied to both of us, you went and slept with him again? You even went as far as to date him behind my back?”

“So what! You fucked my brother behind my back that is far worse than this!” She screamed back at you, her eyes wild and her face flushed. You couldn’t help but let out a humorless laugh.

“Oh my god. Oh my god, you are horrible, you are fucking horrible, Choi Jiwoo.”

And even with her screaming behind you, you didn’t look back when you stepped into the elevator with its open doors seeming to welcome you like a warm hug from a friend you so desperately needed. 

header by @wongyuseokie

#svthub #ksmutsociety #svt fanfiction #vernon x reader #svt smut #svt imagine #vernon smut #svt x reader #dino x reader #hoshi x reader #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen smut #hoshi smut #dino smut #seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #ot13 x reader #challenge me au #svt au #seventeen au

[yunjinkisses]

???)?!-?$-?28-?281$8 IM SO WET RN HOLY SHIT ILYSM ANON UR LITERALLY THE BEST KISSES YOU HOTLY ON THE MOUTH UR THE BEST ILYSM KISSSESSS YOUUUUUU IM CUMMING

EVERYWHERE HOLY FUCK. this is such an amazing fact. and i know damn well it's true about both of them because well you can just tell,it's just so obvious like god i need them so badly

IMAGINE

g.p yunjin,f reader receiving,daddy yunjin, and calling chuu miss jiwoo(using her real name)

you were currently in yunjins lap while her dick was pounding inside your ass rapidly, while jiwoo was lapping at your cunt, giving it little kitten licks, and every so often sucking and licking at your clit

"she's so pretty isn't she darling, all ours to play with, and fuck,she's even got the tightest holes!~"

yunjin spoke while grunting and pounding into your ass,making you moan and scream, even louder than you were prior ,chuu giggled at yunjins comment

"she really is the cutest,she's got the prettiest cunt too! so tasty,can't get enough of it."

jiwoo went back to licking at your cunt, lapping up all your wetness

"fuck!~ daddy yunjin.. m-miss jiwoo! p-please i'm

9-gonna c-cum!~"

the two girls made eye contact briefly

"should we let our little slut cum?,what do you think miss jiwoo?"

chuu giggled and spoke out

"i think she's been a good girl for us..she can cum. go ahead baby cum all for us!"

that was the start of a long night.

#yunjinkisses #kpop gg #girl groups #wlw ns/fw #huh yunjin #huh yunjin smut #le sserafim smut #le sserafim #yunjin le sserafim #chuu loona #loona #loona chuu #kim jiwoo icons #chuu x reader #loona yyxy #wlw imagine #gg imagines

[jenscx]

[01] tumblr girls — first and last

it was cliché; being in love with danielle marsh, the straightest girl on earth. you thought your feelings were hopeless, until you discover her tumblr blog.

you squint your eyes at the excel sheet being flashed on screen. mo jihye? did your class even have someone called jihye? you sigh. the student was probably one of the kids at the back and would leave you to do all the work.

just your luck, that the project worth almost 30 percent of your final grade relied on some random person.

“i got jiwoo…” minji says.

hanni rolls her eyes, “that’s not bad. i got yeonjun. bro is gonna be so annoying.”

you turn to your two friends, confusion apparent on your face, “who the hell is mo jihye?”

minji and hanni both look at you with widened eyes, mouths agape.

“you don’t know jihye?” hanni asks, “she’s one of the most popular girls in school!”

“you saying that doesn’t help at all,” you murmur, heart racing at the thought of your high school’s most popular friend group. minji stares at you incredulously and you have the urge to slap your best friends.

“she’s australian and has a really nice voice,” hanni supplies unhelpfully. you furrow your brows, who else was australian other than danielle? maybe a new student.

sighing, you turn around to look at the screen again. the teacher now explaining the rubrics after the commotion about partners had died down. you frown, still thinking about jihye. somehow, you hadn’t heard of her and she was one of the most popular girls in school?

your eyes brighten when you realise that, one, jihye and danielle are probably in the same friend group, and two, becoming friends with jihye would basically mean becoming friends with danielle. you thought smugly to yourself.

(minji and hanni glance at you, concerned, when they hear you laugh quietly.)

“i encourage everyone to be in contact with their partners by the end of today. final assessment is due the last week of next month, please do take this project seriously as it is thirty percent of your grade,” mr lee says. your eyes dart around the class, danielle catching your onlooking gaze immediately. you feel your face flush and evert your eyes instantly.

you hear danielle’s god-gifted giggle and would have melted if not for the judging look from hanni. you try to sneak another glance at the girl, who crinkles her eyes when she smiles at you and you know it’s game over.

you were madly in love with a girl that probably didn’t even know your name. her brown gleaming eyes, angel-like smile, perfect wavy hair… you’re so screwed—

“y/n,” you snap out of your haze. “the bell just rung, class is over.” after blinking a few times, you realise that, one, minji and hanni had just ditched you, and two, danielle knows your name.

“ah… sorry,” you mumble a reply, embarrassed. danielle shakes her head and reaches out a hand to help you pack up. stunned, you glance at her and feel your cheeks heat up. wow… she has really long lashes…

“i saw you staring just now,” you freeze, “wanted to ask if you needed anything.”

she gazed at you expectantly.

“uhm…” you struggle to find a response, and was it always this hot in the classroom?

“sorry… i was just zoning out…”

danielle clicks her tongue and you feel guilty for making her impatient. she turns away, eyebrows furrowed.

“okay. i’ll see you later?”

“mhm.”

fuck, you were so lame.

“yeonjun keeps sending me hedgehog videos,” hanni complains, “who the hell keeps a hedgehog as a pet?” you pause momentarily, thinking, oh my god, i forgot about the project.

minji notices your stunned silence and nudges you with her elbow. “you good?”

“yup,” your voice cracks, “i don’t have jihye’s number.”

“oh, but didn’t you stay back in class—”

hanni gets interrupted when someone places a hand on your shoulder from behind. you slightly tense up and turn around slowly, eyes widening.

“hey…”

“hi y/n! i wanted to ask if you’re coming to the game later?” danielle smiles. you don’t have the heart to tell her that there’s a sea of homework piling up on your desk.

“uh, sure.”

“great! i’ll text you?”

“yes…”

with that, danielle bounces off. when you turn back to your friends, minji looks constipated and hanni’s brows are forming a judgemental look.

“what…?”

your two friends turn to look at each other and both release a coordinated sigh.

“for someone that gets straight As, you’re surprisingly stupid.”

“hey— what!”

“how could you not have her number if she just said that she’ll text you?” minji asks, exasperated. you gape at her, momentarily paused in time while hanni rolls her eyes at your stupidity.

“wait, what?”

“you didn’t know danielle and jihye were the same person— oh my god, are you even breathing? holy shit, hanni, do something bro!”

“what the hell?”

you blink, hands pulling at the varsity jacket minji had lent you. danielle got your number from haerin, who got it from jiwon, who got it from hanni. she texted you after school, making sure that you were attending the game and asking you to wait for her after so that you could work on your project. this was not how you wanted to spend the rest of the day. the stands were filled with students who cheered the cheerleaders on. they were performing some sort of routine before the game started.

despite the impressive flips and stunts they did, you could only focus on the brunette who was beaming brightly while performing. you stare in awe as they lift her up to do an aerial move. right as she is lifted, danielle (or jihye?) raises her head, making eye contact with you. hesitantly, you wave.

“—holy shit, did danielle just fall?” gasps erupt from the crowd as the cheerleader basically crashes down, arms flailing as she falls. the whole team rushes to her aid, and your eyes widen at the stink look one of them gives you.

the stands are filled with murmurs, mostly of worry and confusion. you feel guilt wreck you, did you distract danielle from performing? if she was injured, you would never forgive yourself. resisting the urge to get up from your seat to go see her, you sit back down, leg bouncing nervously. minji and hanni are seated beside you, muttering and whispering.

“it’s our first time attending a game and something goes wrong. this is why we don’t hang out with the popular kids,” hanni groans. minji nods in agreement while all you can do is shift in your seat in anxiety.

after danielle is escorted from the field to a bench, the game begins. you’re not focused on the game at all, more worried about danielle and whether she was okay. at the halfway point, minji and hanni leave to go get snacks, and you’re alone at the bench once more. feeling an urge to check in danielle, you groan, following your heart instead of your mind, and rushing down to the field. no one really notices you, more focused on the players and the game itself.

despite her injury, the girl still looks bright. her eyes gleaming and a cheerful smile on her face. she occasionally shouts out words of encouragement to the players and her fellow cheerleaders.

she doesn’t even notice you lingering around until one of your steps causes the grass to crinkle.

“oh, y/n!” danielle smiles awkwardly. you return the same. “wanna sit down here?”

“uh, i thought only cheerleaders were allowed to sit here?” you ask nervously, shifting your weight from one foot to another. danielle shrugs, “i don’t actually know. it’s okay if you sit though, i can just say you came to check up on me.”

you nod, hovering over the seat, unsure if you could actually take a seat. either fate, or danielle, decides you were taking too long, since she reaches out to your wrist, pulling you abruptly down.

with a yelp, you fall onto the bench ungracefully, cheeks heating up at the grip on your wrist and the shriek you let out. danielle, unable to resist, lets out the loudest laugh you’ve ever heard. your face flushing even more, you feel somewhat accomplished at the fact you managed to make her laugh.

now that you are sitting side by side with danielle, your throat constricts. wanting to start a conversation, you open your mouth, only to be interrupted by danielle who chirps happily, “let’s discuss our project!”

your posture deflates, an awkward smile put back onto your face. “sure.” you had wanted to avoid this topic the most; between your blunder of oh my god, jihye and danielle are the same person, and oh my god, my partner is danielle, it wasn’t a favourable position to be in.

“which topic do you want to do? i think we could do either cultural and prejudice or psychological affairs,” danielle says, “discrimination, inferiority of women— oh! maybe human attraction?”

you stiffen noticeably at the topic. human. attraction. of course danielle wanted to do a topic about human attraction. who wouldn’t be attracted to her? the brown, naturally-curled hair, hazelnut eyes, full lips—

“yeah, sure,” you croak out.

“great!” danielle smiles, “i think the game is ending soon, so i’ll text you about the project later? i gotta go hang out with my team.”

another nod. with her expectant gaze, you stand up, almost robotically, arms swinging by the side.

“uhm, that jacket…” danielle trails off. you tilt your head, what about your jacket?

“it’s minji’s?” she asks.

“uh, yeah.” you suddenly feel self-conscious, how’d she know it was minji’s? danielle seems to notice your confusion, since she points at the back, “says kim in big, bold lettering.”

you furrow your eyebrows. was there something wrong with your (minji’s) varsity jacket?

“you okay?”

danielle smiles, albeit dimmer than before, “yup. i gotta go.”

and with a wave, danielle leaves, limping towards her teammates, who welcome her with open arms. haerin sends you a stink eye and you gulp.

sighing, you head back up to the stands, minji and hanni celebrating the triumph of your school.

“where’d you go?” hanni asks.

you groan, “hell.”

masterlist | next

#tumblr girls ft. mjh #mo jihye x reader #jihye x reader #newjeans #newjeans x reader #danielle marsh x reader #danielle x reader

[whatwouldsylwrite]

At least I got you in my head (5)

(4)

Summary: Abby is straight. And then you move in with her.

Tags: modern au, fem!reader, straight!abby (she is doing some comphet bullshit), pining, idiot in love and it's abby, reader is gay and tired.

Notes: sexual themes (not with Abby), Vi from Arcane is here to make you feel better. You and Abby make decisions that rub the wrong way. Mention of reader having a complicated skin care routine that Abby doesn't understand. Also, the girl in the end is Kara Danvers from supergirl; she is never described/mentioned.

Taglist: @abbyily @lillysbigwilly @gravygranules @blairfox04 @frogtits1 @ccinnamongrl @ninazenuk @urmomsgirlfriend1 @sunkissedbibi @couchgarbage @nil-eena @inlovewithelliewilliams @st4rluvrr @mai5mai @machetegirl109 @azelmawrites (if you want me to tag/untag you for the whole series dm me please)

-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Yoon Jiwoo was a little scary, but you liked how reserved she was: she didn't ask you for anything, didn't try to get to know you deeply, just polite small talk and a few jokes. Instead of coffee she asked you to come and help her with dinner, and you agreed, fully understanding the implications. 

The implication number one: your chin covered in her slick while she mewled above you and tugged on your hair. 

The implication number two: you sprawled out on her bed, shaking after the second orgasm. 

She was teasing you a lot, which wasn't something you necessarily liked in bed, but it suited her so you rolled with it (not like you had a choice, pinned under her). 

Jiwoo kissed you goodbye and you went home at 1 am on Sunday, feeling a little better.

Like your world wasn't spinning around Abby, like you could start moving on and be happy while living with the best roommate you could wish for. There were other girls, available girls, and you didn't have to suffer. Were you available though? Well, not yet. But eventually your feelings would go away, you were sure of it. 

When you came home you expected Abby to be asleep already - you told her you'd be late - but she was in the living room, playing Doom, frowning in concentration as she eviscerated her enemies. She looked good like this, in her grey sweats and muscle tee, her braid resting on her shoulder. Fuck, why were you like that? You just fucked someone, weren't you supposed to fantasise about Jiwoo right now and not drool over your roommate? Jiwoo had great arms too, and she was hot too, and she was the one to fuck you.

God you really were too deep in it if Abby in muscle tee was more exciting than literal orgasms.

You took a breath to calm yourself down and knocked on the door frame, careful not to scare Abby with your presence. She looked up and paused the game, taking her headphones off. She looked a little tired and you knew she wasn't supposed to be up this late. 

"Hey. Why are you not in bed yet?" You sat next to her on the couch, your knee touching her thigh. 

"Was waiting for you." Abby murmured and rubbed her neck. "I wanted to make sure you'd come home safe."

Fuck you and how caring you are, you thought desperately. Jiwoo also told you to text her when you'd be home, why weren't you thinking of this? Why weren't you texting her right now? 

"Well, I am." You smiled a little. "You should go to sleep, Abby. You'll be grumpy in the morning."

"Yeah. Are you hungry? I made pasta."

"You can't do this to me, seriously." You said dramatically and let Abby guide you to the kitchen.

She heated up the food for you and made herself tea after you gave her shit for wanting to drink coffee at 1am. 

"How was it?" Abby asked politely and you tensed. 

"Great." 

"Just great?" Abby laughed kindly. 

"Yeah, well. Stress relief is stress relief." You chuckled, not really understanding why Abby was curious about your sex life. 

It hurt a little, that while you hooked up with Jiwoo to get Abby out of your system, she was now trying to make small talk about it. 

Abby must've noticed your reluctance, because her teasing grin fell.

"Sorry, I'm so used to Ellie waxing poetry about her hookups so for some reason I expected you to do that too." Abby smiled sheepishly. 

"Oh, don't worry. I just don't kiss and tell, you know. Unless you want a crush course in lesbian sex." You winked, curious if you'd make her shy, and yeah, Abby's cheeks were just slightly pink.

"I mean, Ellie talks so much about girls I feel like I could give you a crush course."

You laughed: bantering with Abby was easy and familiar and you felt a bit better, and not in love at all. Just two gals being pals. 

You were lying in your bed and you couldn't fall asleep as you were going back to this weekend. You felt like the whole hookup with Jiwoo was just some kind of revenge, a knee jerk reaction to Abby breaking your little air castles where you two were in love and happy together. You told Cait you wouldn't use other people to get over Abby, but even though the thing with Jiwoo was mutually beneficial, it didn't make you feel any better. Especially since it only gave you relief that lasted until you came home. 

It was a bad idea to begin with and now you regretted it a little. The sex was great, and you had a lot of fun, but the motivation behind it made you question your choice. You had to deal with your hurt before you tried to weave other people into it. 

It was Monday and you decided it was time for plan B: get distracted by getting another student. Work was good, work meant mind exercises and money. Usually you'd get recommended by your previous students, but sometimes your professors would ask you to help someone out, and today was the day when you got lucky. 

Your professor caught you in the corridor while you were walking to your next class and you got scared at first - did you miss an assignment and were losing your points?

"I gave your number to one of my students, she is smart but she had to miss a lot of classes. She needs to pass the test at the end of November, can you help her?"

"Yeah, of course." You nodded politely.

"Thanks." Your professor patted you on the shoulder and hurried to her next class. God, she was always running like a headless chicken and you adored that chaotic energy in her. She was a very talented teacher, she asked for a lot, but she always gave second chances, so if this girl got her to let her improve her grade, then you'd do your best to help her. 

Also, you thought as you watched the hottest fucking person walk through the doors of the library on Wednesday afternoon, you'd have to do your best and keep it in your pants. 

She was built very similar to Abby, the same defined arms and wide shoulders, and she had tattoos. Her nose was pierced and even the bright pink hair looked organic. 

Even the way she walked was hot - Abby was always commanding, and your new student (she was bee lining to your table) walked confidently, like she didn't fucking care and like she knew she was hot. 

Oh this one wasn't straight. No straight girl had the same energy as her. No, this kind of confidence came from wanting to attract a different kind of attention, the attention straight girls didn't seek and didn't need. 

You sat more straight in your seat as the girl came closer, and for some reason you expected her to be cocky, but she smiled at you and you melted. 

"Hi. You are (y/n)?" You nodded and the girl sat next to you. "I'm Vi."

"Nice to meet you." You said, trying to play it cool. Not only she was hot as fuck, she also seemed sweet? "Prof said you need to pass the test?"

"Yeah. I need at least B on this, and I don't understand a thing." Vi chuckled. "I read at home, but it all sounds fucking insane."

You laughed.

"Which part? I bet it's Kant."

"More like cunt if you ask me." Vi mumbled and you laughed again. 

"Okay. Let's start from the beginning and then Kant will make more sense later on. Are you going to have only western philosophy on your test or do we need to cover everything?"

"I think it's only western." 

You put your professional face on and tried to ignore how hot Vi was as best as you could, but judging by her little knowing smirk she was fully aware of her affect on you - though you didn't really mind. She was hot and sweet and made you feel something else except fucking sadness and desperation. 

Maybe you could get both distractions this time, you thought as Vi smiled at you and looked a little lower than what would be considered friendly. 

This week Abby spent way too invested in talking to Owen. They texted regularly and Abby found herself checking her phone every five minutes. He excited her: Abby liked his attention and his jokes, and it didn't happen often to her. Boys were more annoying than enjoyable, so when she'd meet a guy who was actually cool she tried not to pass the opportunity. 

And now when she was spending so much time on Owen she didn't get her weird panics around you anymore. Abby still enjoyed cuddling with you and talking to you, but now she felt safe to do that, when she had an outlet to deal with her loneliness. She could cuddle you and then go to Owen to get her healthy fix of sex and intimacy. 

Not that Abby planned to, but knowing she had an escape made her feel more confident, as if she separated her affectionate side from her lonely horny side. 

from: (y/n)

r u home?

can you meet me downstairs?

I need help

Abby locked her phone and went to the hallway to put her doc martens and a coat - the third week of October wasn't really warm. She quickly made her way downstairs, a little worried about what you needed help with. 

You were standing in front of the stairs with two big plastic bags and Abby just stared at you.

"You okay?" She asked with doubt. Why did you buy two full bags of groceries? Why did you even go without her when it was her job to do all the heavy lifting in the house? "You should've called me."

"I didn't plan to go grocery shopping, I just wanted to buy the cookies, but I spiralled." You shrugged. "Can you help me carry them?"

Abby took all the bags, not letting you touch them at all even when you protested ("equal labour, come on" "you're hunched in your chair 24/7 you have the back of a grandma, chill"). You made light small talk while you went upstairs, Abby told you about her classes and how annoyed she was with some of them: she liked to bitch about stuff with you because you bitched right back without trying to cheer her up. You just understood Abby's need to vent.

Abby took her shoes off and went to the kitchen so she could start unloading the bags. You were still shuffling in the hallway when she opened the bag and stared into the inside.

"What the fuck?" Abby mumbled as she looked over the whole bag filled with her favourite protein bars. 

By that point you came to the kitchen and had the audacity to look like you didn't understand why Abby was shocked.

"Oh, yeah. They were on sale." 

Abby stared at you. 

"So you bought the whole aisle?"

"You burn through them like they're made of oxygen, come on." You said, embarrassed, and Abby laughed. 

"You're insane." Abby chuckled and came closer, holding your face in her warm hands so she could pepper your face with small kisses.

"Thanks." Kiss. "You're ridiculous." Kiss. "I l-" 

Abby's words got stuck in her throat: she couldn't finish this sentence. She didn't know why, but it felt like she meant something way different from what it was supposed to mean between friends. It didn't seem like you've noticed, so Abby kissed your forehead and moved away, making herself pay attention to your pleased face instead of wallowing in her anxiety. 

"Did you really get the whole aisle?"

"I took every pack they had, yes. It was on sale, pretty good deal if you ask me." 

"Whatever you say mathematician." Abby chuckled and helped you put other groceries in their place. 

She couldn't stop herself from smiling: you cared. You remembered small things about her the same way she remembered small things about you (she made sure to buy you your favourite cookies every time she was shopping), and it was so warming. She felt her heart grow with l- 

Why couldn't she use this word for you? God, she thought she was over her stupid panic. It was okay to love her friends. It was okay. 

Maybe she should hook up with Owen again. 

Vi asked you to come to her place for your fourth lesson - she had training before and she would have been late for the lesson if she had to go to the library from there. You didn't mind so you put your books into your bag and went over to her place. 

Vi told you she lived with her younger sister, and you saw the pictures around the apartment: it seemed like bright hair was a theme here. 

Vi's room was a little bigger than yours, and was surprisingly aesthetic with decor. There were a lot of drawings ("my sister drew them") and her table was kinda cluttered, but she quickly freed some space so you could put your books somewhere. 

Being in Vi's room made you tingle. It was obvious to both of you how attractive you found each other, and you couldn't shake the thought she invited you for a different reason with the amount of tension between the two of you.

You were sitting pretty close, her strong jean-clad thigh pressed against yours, but you tried to not pay attention to it and focus on the lesson. So far Vi's been an excellent student, not shy to ask you the same question as many times as she needed, getting to the bottom of it no matter what. Sometimes you had to change your usual explanation so Vi would understand, and putting your brains to work made you feel good.

"Okay, okay, I've got it. Fucking mental gymnastics." Vi sighed as she wrote her answer on a test sample. "Check."

You read her answer and smiled: it was perfect. 

"Good job." Vi’s eyes lit up.

"I want a reward." Vi said and you chuckled before picking up your pen and writing a good job with a star on her paper. 

"Good enough?" Vi chuckled at this and moved closer to you, putting her elbow on the table to support herself. "Something else?" You were teasing her, you knew, but you were so curious how it’d play out.

"Yeah, I have a better idea." She murmured as she moved her face closer to yours, waiting for you to give her green light. You smiled and moved closer, enjoying her wide eyes and a pleased smirk. 

Vi kissed you and you lost your breath for a moment, shocked by how gentle and tentative she was. She was sweet, god she was sweet. If it wasn't for one stupid straight blonde in your life you could have fallen in love with Vi just from the way she kissed. 

You moved away, feeling guilty: you didn't really know what Vi wanted from you, and she didn't deserve to be fucked over because you were an idiot who was in love with their roommate.

"Hey-hey. Wait a second."

"Did I misread the situation?" Vi asked, worried, searching your face for an answer. 

"No. But I'd like to know what you want from this, so we could be on the same page."

"I just think you're hot."

"Nothing serious?"

"No?" Vi looked like she was scared she'd hurt your feelings with her words, but you only sighed in relief.

"Good. Because I think you're hot too." Vi smirked at this and kissed you again, holding your neck with her palm as she stroked your jaw with her thumb. "Is this why you asked me to come here today?"

"No." Vi laughed as she squeezed your hips and moved you to her lap, pressing you closer. God she was strong. "But now I think past me was a genius."

You chuckled and kissed her again, burying your fingers in her soft hair as she pushed her hands under your shirt. Vi sighed into your mouth and you smiled while your hips started to live their own life, grinding against Vi. You were stupidly turned on by how strong and sweet she was, so careful with how she touched you, as if you were not a one night stand but the love of her life. 

"You're gentle." You commented when Vi carefully placed you on the bed.

"I get that a lot." Vi grinned and you rolled your eyes playfully. "Tell me what you want." 

You smiled at that and tugged her shirt off, staring hungrily at her abs and tattoos. She looked like she could destroy you and put you back together and your stomach burned while your eyes went dark with desire. 

"Fuck me.”

---

“You sure you don’t want to come?” You asked and Abby snapped out of watching you get ready in front of the mirror. Abby came to chill out in your room as you went through your wardrobe to find something that’d work for a Halloween party. 

“I’m not feeling it.” What Abby actually meant: Owen was getting a little too aggressive with his attempts to ask her out and she didn’t want to run into him.

“Well, you know how they say, you just need to come and the mood will come too.”

“No, really, I just want to stay home today. But you have fun, you’ve been working the whole week, you need it.”

You’ve been coming home late the past few days, having more lessons than usual, and Abby felt bad for you. At least you seemed to be in a good mood most of the time, more relaxed and happy than the previous week, and Abby was glad the amount of work wasn’t taking a toll on you.

“Thanks, Abby.” You smiled in the mirror and Abby smiled back. She couldn’t look away from you, a little fascinated by your little rituals with all the skin care products you were using. Sometimes she asked you questions about especially weird things she saw in your hands, but otherwise she stayed quiet and just watched you. 

Abby never really was a girly girl, with no desire to learn how to apply makeup or to wear skirts, and when she was a teenager a lot of people liked to tell her if she didn’t get more feminine she’d never find a boy, because boys liked everything she didn’t. And listen, she tried. She even learned how to use eye liner, but when she looked at herself in the mirror she felt like a clown, and she decided the potential boy in her life wasn’t worth trying to become someone she wasn’t. But even if Abby herself didn’t care about doing girly things, she liked watching other girls do their magic: how Ellie painted her nails black, how Nora did her hair, how you applied god knows how many creams/essences on your face. It was calming to her. 

“So, what are you going for?” Abby nodded at the bunch of clothes on your bed.

“The laziest vampire on earth.” You sighed. “You know, all black, some sunglasses to look like an asshole. We still have cranberry juice, right? I’ll pretend it’s blood.”

“Wow, that’s bad.” Abby laughed.

“Well I can’t come in my usual clothes, that would be even worse. I’ll try to look like the lack of effort was a choice and you know what? I’ll look hot doing it.”

“You definitely will.” Not that Abby understood anything in women’s hotness, but hey. She met girls who made her head turn, so.. Listen, she didn’t know where she was going with this thought. All girls were pretty, okay. It was the universal truth, what was the point of thinking she didn’t know when women were hot, she wasn’t a blind idiot. 

Abby walked you out of the door with a promise you’d call her if anything happens and a kiss on the forehead. 

from: Owen

Are you out tonight?

Fuck, Abby thought. Fuck-fuck-fuck. If she’d say she was home he’d definitely ask to come over, and lying was pointless. Abby stared at her phone once more. But what if she’d want to hook up with him later? Fuck. This shit shouldn’t have been so complicated. 

Well. She could lie in a different way.

to: Owen

sorry, I’ve got a fever so I stayed home

That was so stupid and hardly believable, but Abby didn’t want to deal with Owen right now. Or ever. 

Thankfully he left her on read and Abby sighed in relief before going to the living room to finish the next level in Doom. It took her a few hours after she fell down to death a bunch of times, missing the right moment to jump from one stupid pillar to another. And the boss at the end of the level was pretty hard, so when she finally beat him it was close to 2:30 am. 

Abby tidied the living room and then took a shower, her eyes hurt a little after staring at the screen for so long. She came back to her room and cautiously checked her notifications in fear Owen’d drunk-text her, but instead there was a text from you.

from: (y/n)

Im w a girl 

Abby stilled as she read your text, her heart squeezing in pain that she didn’t understand. Was she jealous? But she just turned Owen down, so it couldn't be right. Abby shook her head as if it’d shake the thoughts out of her head and quickly got ready for bed - she hoped to fall asleep before you’d come home with a girl.

It seemed like the universe hated her that night, because when she felt she was finally falling asleep, relieved she wouldn’t hear you coming home, the front door clicked open. 

Abby shut her eyes and tried not to listen to any sounds: to be fair, she didn’t hear anything until your bedroom’s door was shut. She didn’t want to think about what was happening in your bedroom, but then she heard it. 

You were clearly trying to be quiet, but one of your whimpers was too loud. Abby’s ears rang and her heart started beating faster from anxiety. Despite herself her head got filled with pictures of some random girl touching you. Abby wanted to barf, wanted this girl out of your bedroom, wanted to fucking rip her arms off for making you sound like that. 

Abby took a deep breath and sat on the bed, her ears tuned to your bedroom - it seemed like you noticed your mistake and got quieter, but Abby didn’t need you to make any more sounds to feel absolutely sick, her brain conveniently showing her how you were being fucked right now.

Abby huffed in disgust and stilled suddenly, noticing her emotions. She was disgusted? Fucking hell she was. 

You were having sex next door and Abby was so disgusted and angry she wanted to break something. She felt guilty, because you didn't deserve this, you didn't do anything bad, but Abby couldn't shake her feelings and her unbearable fantasies off.

Abby took another deep breath and grabbed her headphones, determined to force herself into sleep, even if she couldn't breathe properly from her awful feelings.

And Abby would have to be nice in the morning, wouldn't she?

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson #abby tlou #aligyimh

[rikiluvly]

✩𝗠𝗢𝗟𝗘𝗦 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗦✩

𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗙𝗜𝗟𝗘𝗦

✴︎ - 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗡𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗺𝘂𝗿𝗮 𝗥𝗶𝗸𝗶 𝘅 𝗙𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

✴︎ - 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: 𝗣𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀!𝗮𝘂

✴︎ - 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗜𝗻𝗮𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗷𝗼𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲, 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝗴𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻, 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗯𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝗯𝘃𝘀𝗲, 𝘁𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗰 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀.

✴︎ - 𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀: 𝗬/𝗻 𝗴𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝗰𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗛𝗮𝗻𝗹𝗶𝗺 𝗛𝗶𝗴𝗵 𝗦𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗹 𝗯𝗼𝘆𝘀’ 𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺. 𝗡𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗺𝘂𝗿𝗮 𝗥𝗶𝗸𝗶, 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝘅 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗴𝘂𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗲𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗯𝗮𝗱 𝗹𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝘆.

𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 | 𝗠𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧 | 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁

y/n: She is a dance-driven girl with the passion of becoming a dance professional but struggles due to her parents not agreeing with what she really wants to do in life. She has a genuine hatred towards Riki Nishimura and her friends never hesitate to back her up. Is also captain of the Hanlim High School girl's dance team. She is Park Sunghoons younger sister.

riki: He is co captain of the Hamlin High School boys dance team along with Sunoo. He has a girlfriend of 3 years called Jiwoo. Best friends with, Sunghoon, Heeseung, Jongseong, Jaeyun and Sunoo, who are all part of the dance team. Has such a dislike for y/n but no one really knows the reason behind it.

J: works at Flower Pots cafe and always shouts her friends a nice drink and snack when she's working. Feels the need to protect her friends at every cost. Is a part of the Hanlim High School girls' dance team along with y/n and Tsuki.

binbin (soobin): He works at the local garden center and always gifts his friends little cacti. Sometimes he ends up feeling like he's the only boy in this friend group. Gets shipped with beomgyu too much (as a joke) and genuinely hates it.

gyu (beomgyu): y/n's oldest friend since elementary and the person who never fails to make everyone feel embarrassed around him. Loves Taylor Swift #proudswiftie. Hasn't got many hobbies except for the fact he always takes a trip to the music store to test their guitars (the workers are sick of him).

tsuki: Qualified as y/n's friend by purposely sitting in the seat next to her at school and chatting about the 6 cats she owns. A super cute girl who doesn't deserve any guy that comes her way. She is also part of the Hanlim High School girls' dance team along with y/n and J.

wonnie (Jungwon): Is super silly and likes to lighten up the mood. He works as a babysitter around town for little kids and genuinely hates it. Complains but then Soobin makes sure he keeps thinking about the money. Best friends with Soobin, Gyu, J, Tsuki and y/n.

hoon (Sunghoon): He is y/n’s older brother and he is part of the Hamlin High School boys dance team. His skin is so clear and smooth that people can’t help but ask for the stuff that he’s putting on his skin. He is in his senior year and gets jelous of Riki cause he’s still so young and is already in a ‘committed’ relationship.

jongseong: Is such a player but doesn’t feel bad about it. He is a part of the Hanlon High School boys dance team along with, Riki, Hoon, Jaeyun, Hee and Sunoo. Just to rile him up people make jokes about him dating Jake (he doesn’t find it very funny). Works at Flower Pots cafe along with J.

jaeyun: Your local man whore. He gets with girls like his life depends on it, but he gets offended when they ask him to do the guilty dance because it doesn’t show etiquette?? His friends are very confused about it. He is a part of the Hamlin High School boys dance team.

hee (Heeseung): Hee is the biggest flirt ever and doesn’t hesistate to try and hit up y/n. He is single surprisingly but he seems to really have his eye on a specific someone. Argues with Riki about who is a better dancer (Riki definitely is). He is also a part of the Hamlin High School boys dance team.

Sunoo: He is the sweetest person ever, he is best friends with, Riki, Sunghoon, Heeseung, Jongseong and Jaeyun. He is good friends with y/n but never knows whose side to take, Riki’s or y/n’s. He is also apart of the Hamlin High School boys dance team.

Jiwoo: She is Riki’s girlfriend of three years and hates y/n aswell as Riki does. The rest of Riki’s friends secretly find Jiwoo extremely annoying (you’ll see why). She is a part of the Hamlin High School girl’s dance team.

a/n: I am so excited to start this journey with you guys!! I will be posting this smau a few days apart from eachother so I hope that’s okay for you guys!! Likes and reblogs would be deeply appreciated!!

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍: @qwertyhege @k1ttylvr @coolwitu @defnotfertilizedtoesw @yourmyst4r @echoofnoise00 @lovrqis @hoondiors @pkjay @j-wyoung

#enhahearts #enhypen #enhypen x reader #niki x reader #nishimura riki #nishimura riki x reader #rikiluvly #kpop #enhypen smau #nishimura riki smau #niki smau #enhypen social media au #ni-ki x reader #nishimura riki x you #nishimura riki fanfiction #nishimura riki fluff #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen niki #park jongseong #sim jaeyun #yang jungwon #kim sunoo #lee heeseung #park sunghoon x reader #park sunghoon #niki

[silantryoo]

seol yoona (sullyoon) x nmixx!reader (angst)

WARNINGS ; overworking, jinni's departure, mental health issues, panic attacks, cyberbullying, fwb (just kissing dw)

choi yunjin was seol yoona's soulmate.

anyone could see it from a mile away. to the singer, yunjin was the only person that truly reached deep down inside of her. every little thing she did, yoona cared enough to notice. a new set of clothes, a new pair of shoes, a different coffee order.

she was yoona's muse, and nothing could change that.

yunjin was the exact opposite of yoona. the dancer had a firey passion, and an energy that attracted people to her. she was magnetic, she was the light shining in the night, the beacon of hope that yoona so desperately longed for. she was everything that the young idol desired.

like a moth to a flame, yoona couldn't escape choi yunjin's grasp, and she wouldn't have had it any other way.

you had been a trainee for a while, and although you were the same age as haewon, you had been in the company as long as lily had been. you had seen people come and go. you saw the best of the best, the most beautiful, and the most talented, but there was no one that compare to seol yoona.

yoona had joined the many trainees at the beginning of 2020, nearing the five-year mark of your training.

you didn't take notice of the girl at first. your brain felt like mush, and during certain days (or months), it was almost hard to function as a human person.

you were ground to the bone, and thinking - noticing - had become a chore.

it wasn't a surprise that you were exhausted. having trained since the age of twelve was taking a toll on you, mentally, physically, and socially. you never had a sense of true friendships aside from lily and yunjin, too afraid to make a meaningful connection. you were too busy to make friends at school, and although trainees tend to stay long in JYP, there was always a chance that any one of you could get booted.

you had been burnt to the ground, no longer wanting to live watching people around you have meaningful lives while you were stuck indoors overexerting your body in ways that a seventeen-year-old shouldn't have to in order to achieve a dream that only ridiculed you for every single thing you did.

you were tired. you were so fucking tired.

"that new trainee." yunjin spoke out to you in the dim practice room, back on the floor as she stared at the ceiling. you could see the sweat glistening against her forehead. "she's pretty."

you squinted your eyes, trying to remember who your friend was talking about.

"which one?" you hummed, using a towel to wipe the back of your neck. "we got six this month, and they're all pretty."

yunjin turned, her arm hitting the side of lily's bottle, causing it to flop over with a soft thud. "the one that looks like she's gonna cry every time."

lily whined as she grabbed her bottle from the ground.

"that could be anyone, jin."

yunjin groaned, her head going limp, her cheek smashing against the ground.

you sat on the couch, each muscle in your body aching for a bit of rest. you watched as lily gathered her things up, looking around as she thought.

"wait." lily paused. you lolled your head towards her. "yoona?"

you watched as yunjin's teeth peeked through her tired mouth.

"yeah." the younger trainee nodded, lily making her way to the couch with her bag. "yoona."

you felt a dip next to you. "who?"

"the tall one." lily quietly explained, her head falling onto your arm. "she's rooming with jiwoo and haewon. she's really nice."

you wracked around in your brain, trying to figure out who was roomed with haewon. there was jiwoo, the young, energetic girl who you were sure the public was going to love. there was also jinsol, the funniest person in the world. that left...

"the one that keeps staring at jin?" you asked, earning a snicker from lily.

yunjin rolled her eyes. "you're just jealous i'm just better than you."

"please." you scoffed, watching as her eyes twinkled playfully. "i've got main dancer written all over me."

yunjin pouted, something that you and lily had become familiar with since the beginning of your training period. it was a sign that she couldn't say anything more because she had nothing left to say.

(especially since you have always ranked first place in dance evaluations, even when a young dancer named kyujin joined two years ago.)

lily laughed, her head wracking against your shoulder as you exhaled sharply.

"that's not fair!" yunjin complained. "you trained longer than me!"

you rolled your eyes. "by six months."

"lily-unnie!" yunjin continued to whine, trying to find someone to defend her. "she's being annoying."

you looked over to lily, the australian smiling mischievously. "she's got a point, y/nnie."

you shook your head. lily couldn't help but take the youngest side no matter what. you couldn't blame her, yunjin was like a younger sister to the both of you.

"you guys suck."

yunjin stuck her tongue out, and if you had any energy left, you would've too, but the ten-hour training day was starting to affect you. you needed some rest, some food, anything to keep you from crashing horribly.

"let's go get food?" lily suggested.

you nodded, standing up as you walked over to yunjin.

("lift me up." "can you give me a second?" "lift me up.")

you were glad you lived in south korea, where food vendors sold cheap, delicious food at two in the morning.

if you asked yoona what she was scared of in late 2020, she would tell you two things; choi yunjin and group evaluations.

"yoona, you're with y/n and yunjin. sound good?"

suffice it to say, yoona was terrified.

she walked over to the two of you, slightly shivering at the thought of being so close to yunjin, and to a degree, you.

she had known about yunjin, and she had always been intimidated by her. looking at her hurt yoona's eyes, like staring into the sun, a star oh-so bright, a firey ball of pure talent and skill. her voice made yoona's heart nearly burst out of her chest, and her smile...

yoona didn't know if she wanted to see it or avoid it.

you, on the other hand, were the opposite. just like your seniors, TWICE's momo and ITZY's yeji, many trainees had called you 'JYP's Ice Princess. though you were much more introverted than yunjin, you were still friendly to those who needed your help. you were a mystery to yoona, your cold eyes that scanned for any mistakes, your sharp gaze that monitored for any error.

yoona was terrified of you.

haewon had given her as much reassurance as she could've. she ensured that you were no one to be terrified of, and that if anything, if she could become friends with haewon, she could become friends with a 'nerd like y/n'.

yoona flinched as your eyes met hers.

yunjin was right, you thought, scanning the girl up and down, she is pretty. like a butterfly.

yunjin stood up, ushering you to stand along with her. you followed the younger girl, bowing slightly when she did.

"hi. i'm choi yunjin. this is l/n y/n." she introduced, a smile bright on her face. "i don't think we've met properly."

the girl in front of you bowed, her eyes looking everywhere but the two of you. "i'm seol yoona."

"nice to meet you, seol yoona." yunjin grimaced, watching the taller girl flinch. "don't be too scared of her. her face is just like that."

yoona held her breath, the rumors about your fierce nature invading her brain.

you rolled your eyes. of course you were yunjin's sacrificial goat. "you're the worst."

she stuck her tongue out, and you flicked it as hard as you could.

she yelped, covering her mouth as she whined a muffled, "i'm telling lily-unnie!"

"oh no!" you teased, your eyes twinkling as you looked briefly at yoona. "what will i do?"

yunjin whined, complaining to the new addition of your group about your 'bullying'. you rolled your eyes, noticing the lingering feeling in the air as yoona stared at the girl beside you.

even when longing for someone, yoona looked pretty.

the lineup of jyp's unnamed girl group was finalized in january 2021. it consists of eight girls; lily marrow, oh haewon, l/n y/n, seol yoona, choi yunjin, bae jinsol, kim jiwoo, and jang kyujin. contracts had been signed the first week of the year, and there was nothing left to do as a trainee.

except, of course, to prepare for debut.

you and yunjin complained to lily, hating the fact that despite the years of hard work, you had to continue, pushing yourselves even harder (if you even could).

though you protested, you couldn't argue that there were definitely positives.

you felt like you were no longer suffering through the training by yourself. your work ethic matched haewon's, and you found yourself warming up slowly to the other girls, specifically kyujin who you couldn't help but baby.

life was harder than ever, but it felt as if it was starting to look up.

the eight of you sat together, in the practice room after a long twelve-hour day of non-stop dancing and singing. jinsol had brought up the topic of positions, stating that lily would be the main vocal, which spiraled into an in-depth discussion.

you sat cross-legged, kyujin on your lap as you played with her hair. to your left haewon lay on her stomach, head propped up by her hands.

lily furrowed her eyebrows, staring at the ceiling as she thought. "i think-"

"that's not good." you chuckled, earning a giggle from the other girls.

lily whined, "y/n-ah!"

"unnie, when you think, something explodes." you explained, remembering that about a year ago in the artist's lounge. lily had microwaved a metal container that started sparking, causing the fire detector to beep during twice's live.

"the microwave didn't explode, okay?" lily explained, yunjin shaking her head.

haewon pointed to you. "she's right, unnie."

lily pouted, suddenly understanding why you had been so grumpy for so long.

"where were we?" kyujin asked, adjusting herself to that her cheek squished against your lap and her legs were on top of jiwoo's back.

jiwoo pushed the youngest legs off, twirling her pen as she glared at the girl. "we just need the positions for jinsol-unnie and yoona-unnie."

you looked at the girl in front of you, her soft doe eyes looking straight at yunjin. you knew that look anywhere. it was the look that yeji had given ryujin back when you were all trainees.

you didn't know why it burned so badly in your chest, but you couldn't tear your eyes away. yoona looked so beautiful, longing for someone she couldn't have.

"yoona should be the visual." yunjin announced, your eyes never leaving yoona's.

the girl's face burned bright red as the others turned to her, waiting for a reaction.

"i don't know..."

"you're pretty as fu-" haewon slapped the younger girl's shoulder. "i've been in this industry long enough-"

"wow." you scoffed jokingly, ignoring the suffocating feeling that was starting to consume you. "you're using your power to rig the lineup? wo-ow!"

"yunjin," haewon scolded, slightly annoyed but playful regardless. "don't hit your elders."

yunjin lips jutted out, and you watched as yoona briefly - painfully - looked at them. "she's not an elder, she's just old."

you looked away, yunjin smiling at you brightly as lily shook her head.

"i'll bite you, choi yunjin."

the younger girl stuck her tongue out.

"so," jiwoo cleared her throat, trying to get back on track before your break finished. "yoona-unnie would be visual?"

the girls hummed in agreement, watching as jiwoo started writing. you gaze made it's way back to yoona's, a rehearsed smile plastered onto her face as if she was just nodding along to whatever yunjin said. you couldn't blame her. yunjin had a way of persuading people, her bright personality made her hard to disappoint.

still, you could tell that something was wrong, and that was enough for you to take action.

"what if we just didn't?" you spoke, voice stern as your eyes trained on the paper in front of jiwoo ('sul seol yoona - visual'). the room became quiet, and you looked around to find seven pairs of eyes staring at you. "what? we'd be one of the only groups to not have an official visual. plus, yoona isn't only pretty. she's a good singer."

yoona was terrified of you, you were ice cold. never talking unless necessary, always assertive, always knowing what you wanted.

"are you an alien?"

but perhaps she had given in to the rumors too soon. perhaps you weren't ice cold, like the winters she had experienced since childhood, but the cool, comforting breeze of the spring.

"what?"

"unnie!" jinsol squealed, her heart on her chest. "my heart is fluttering and i'm not even yoona."

"what?" you looked around, confused. lily watched as you looked at everyone except yoona. "what did i do?"

the oldest of the group smiled, observing how your face turned a bright red.

the cool air blew through the windows of the practice room, the birds chirping in the distance. the snow had fully melted everywhere in seoul, and there was nothing in the sky but the bright sun. everything was at peace, but with each passing day, each girl felt the pressure of the debut.

truth be told, it was starting to get to you. if you were lucky, you'd sleep three hours, eating two meals a day from the local convenient store. your body ached, and some days, you'd wake up crying from the pain in your knees due to overuse.

but you held it together. you, haewon, and lily. you powered through it as best as you could, and supported the other girls when they couldn't.

"unnie." yoona muttered, the two of you taking a break from working on the footwork of the unreleased title track.

you smiled, the sound of the younger girl's voice never failing to make your heart race. there was something so enticing about her, and you could never get enough of it.

"yoona." you hummed back.

"can i..." she hesitated, her cheeks turning a bright red. "can i talk to you?"

you turned to the girl, a familiar emotion swirling in her eyes. worry, fear. you knew that well - better than anyone, in fact.

you nodded, making your way next to the open window beside her. your arm grazed against the young idol's, and the spring breeze blew blowing against her back. she shivered, a chill running up and down her spine.

"i'm worried about the debut." yoona muttered. "what if they don't like me?"

nodding, you scanned her features. her eyes - golden brown against the sunlight, like a monarch on its favorite flower - trained to the ground.

no one could hate seol yoona, especially not you.

"they'll like you," you stated.

yoona shook her head. "you never know."

"i do know." you smiled at the girl - cool and calm, and unlike with yunjin, her heart nearly stopped. "you got me to like you."

"you didn't like me before?" yoona asked,

"i didn't know you before." but you were glad to now, not that you'd ever say that to her (at least, not yet). "but i liked you as soon as i met you."

"oh." yoona smiled, closing her eyes as she felt the wind run through her hair. "do you think they'll like us?"

"yeah." you followed the younger girl, closing your eyes and letting the air engulf you. "i think they'll love us."

you were sure of it.

nmixx.

an experimental girl group under JYP that takes music from two completely different genres and mixes the two together. they debuted, sending the industry in shock in february of 2022.

you were wrong. they hated you.

you were rattled. though berated for every single thing since the age of twelve - height, weight, skin, voice, tone, style - there was nothing that could compare you to the battlezone of the public. hidden behind the bright screens were people who hated you, people who wanted you gone.

you'd never show it, but slowly, you were starting to agree with them.

yunjin, jiwoo, and jinsol were the ones who had it the worst. the public had no mercy, wanting the three out of the group for the simplest things. some had even found yunjin's home address, sending threatening messages about how she was 'stealing the spotlight' from the rest of the girls.

how had it only been three months? how had it gotten this bad?

you tossed, listening to the soft snores of your roommate, lily. the door creaked open, revealing a dimly lit idol, tears running down her face.

"jin?" you called out.

"unnie." her voice was tired, no longer the bright, bubbly girl that you once knew. "can i stay with you and lily-unnie for tonight?"

"okay."

you held her, hushing her as she sobbed into your neck.

it has to get better. it has to.

it got worse.

you had hope when your newest single, 'dice' came out. it was different, much better than your debut track. you had hope.

you worked harder, your joints hurting with every breath you took. you ate less, only things deemed 'healthy', watching your figure. and you sang. you sang until your voice was hoarse, until your throat felt like sandpaper. you hoped that they could see how hard you worked, how you sacrificed your body - your life - for them.

hope was nothing in the judging eyes of the public.

it wasn't uncommon to hear crying in the many practice rooms of the JYP building. trainees around the world, ones that would kill to achieve what you've achieved, needed a place of solace.

the voice, however, was far too familiar to dismiss.

"yoona? is that you?" worry tingled in your palms as you gripped the doorknob. "can i come in?"

"i can't-" yoona stuggled, gasping for air. "-breathe."

you rushed it, closing the door behind you to find yoona sitting on the ground. her hands in her tearful face, sobbing as she wheezed for air.

you knew this. the burning sensation of your lungs, the feeling of heat spreading across your body. the fear of imploding, of everything and nothing all at once.

"too much." the girl cried out. "i can't-"

you nodded, reaching out to her as you offered your hand. "can i have your hand?"

yoona whined, barely comprehending the words as you grabbed her hand. cold. your hands were cold.

slowly, you placed her palm on the ground.

cold. everything was cold.

"you feel the floor right?" you whispered in a tone that she's never heard before. it was inviting, soothing like ice cream on a hot summer day. "it's cold. my hand. it's cold too, right?"

yoona shook her head and looked up. "unnie, i-"

you pulled your hand away, and she needed it back on hers.

"my hand." you placed it gently on her cheek, and she basked in the feeling. "is it cold?"

yes. yoona thought. it's perfect.

yoona nodded, the pieces of her brain slowly coming back. "i'm cold."

"cold is good." you whispered, wiping her tears away with one hand. "it means you're calm. it means you're okay."

i'm calm. i'm okay.

"thank you."

you grinned, pulling away once more as the girl wiped her tears. she was embarrassed, the two of you were never really close. but you were comforting. you were cold.

"do you wanna talk?" you asked her.

yoona shook her head, chuckling awkwardly. "i don't want to bother you."

"you'd never bother me." it was a truth that you never intended on breaking. "ever."

yoona nodded, your worried eyes meeting hers as the ac blasted above the two of you.

"i'm sorry."

yoona was pretty even when she cried.

"don't be."

it kept getting worse.

yunjin's parents never believed in mental health. they were the type to think that only privileged people had the right to suffer through something so... unnecessary.

but yunjin was losing hair. she was losing weight, and she wasn't sleeping unless she cried until her tears ran dry. you and lily took turns taking care of the younger girl, but she was the scapegoat. there was nothing you could do (especially since you were facing the exact same thing as she was).

yunjin's parents agreed for her to go on medication, sending her to the best therapists they could find.

it wasn't enough.

"i can't keep doing this." yunjin whispered to you one night while the rest of the girls were out on a grocery run.

you turned your head to her, furrowing your eyebrows. your eyes tore away from the tv. "what do you mean?"

you were hearing things. you had to be.

"unnie."

yunjin was tired, just like you.

her joints ached, her knee was giving out whenever she walked. she slept for two hours maximum and she was eating food that was barely enough for a six-year-old.

she couldn't keep doing this.

"choi yunjin!" you shouted. "what the fuck do you mean?"

"unnie. i can't."

you looked at her.

"i'm tired."

you looked away, trying not to cry. only twice have you cried in front of choi yunjin, and you refused to make it a third.

"what about me and lily-unnie?"

"i know." yunjin's head hung low. "i'm sorry."

"you worked so hard. you're just gonna throw that away?" you stood up, burning with a rage that you've kept in for so long.

you hated her at that moment. you hated how selfish she was, able to leave everything behind to prioritize herself, even you. you hated what she was able to do, how brave and how strong she was to leave.

you hated how you weren't her.

"what about yoona?" you asked, voice low.

"yoona?" yunjin looked confused, and you never wanted to yell at someone so much for being dense. "what about yoona?"

"don't you care about her?!" you screamed, yunjin flinching. "she-"

she likes you. she likes your smile, she like your eyes. she likes you, and not me.

choi yunjin was brave, passionate, and bright. you were nothing like her.

"how could you do that to her?" you whispered.

how could you do this to me? how could you leave us? how could you?

"i need to do this for myself, unnie." yunjin continued, tears running down her eyes as she began to beg. "you have to understand. please, i can't leave when you're angry at me."

you looked at her. she was tired. she was so so tired.

"yunjin."

"please, unnie." the younger girl sobbed, and it felt as if you were back at her first evaluation. "i can't even sleep anymore... please."

("i don't want to do this anymore, unnie! i'm tired!")

"you understand, right?" yunjin begged. you couldn't be angry at her. she'd never forgive herself. "please understand."

slowly, you sat down beside her. her tears fell down onto the couch below.

"is this what you want?"

yunjin went quiet.

"i can't keep living like this."

"okay." you nodded, wiping a stray tear on her chin. it hurt. letting go of yunjin felt like you were losing a part of you. "are you going to re-debut?"

"maybe." yunjin sniffled, pouting. you forced back a smile. you were glad she hadn't changed, it would've broken your heart even more. "i didn't want it to be like this. i wanted-"

"i know." you nodded once more, biting back any feelings that might show themselves. "will it make you happy?"

yunjin nodded. "yes."

"okay." you bit the inside of your cheek. "okay."

you sighed, opening your arms as she sobbed into your shoulder. you understood, and that was enough for yunjin.

"i'm not mad at you." you said, yunjin sobbing harder.

you did what i couldn't.

the news aired when the girls were asleep.

you and lily had snuck out the night of the mama awards to say one last goodbye to yunjin. lily smiled through her tears, and you didn't shed a single one.

lily was worried.

the two of you got home at four in the morning. the world was quiet. it hurt your ears, and you made your way to bed without talking to lily beside you. it took you awhile to sleep, your body expecting the younger girl to burst through the door, tears in her eyes.

you knew yunjin wasn't coming home, it just took four hours for your body to catch up.

you woke up an hour later to lily's voice outside the door and yoona barging into your room.

"where's yunjin?" yoona asked through tears.

you sat up, not a single expression on your face. she's home, safe, happy. "she left."

"no, she didn't." yoona sobbed. "where's yunjin, unnie?"

you closed your eyes, hating that you had to repeat it once more. "she left, yoona."

she stared at you, biting her lip as she tried not to cry. lily frowned as your eyes softened at the sight of the younger girl.

"only me and lily-unnie knew." you swallowed, watching her storm out of your room. "i'm sorry."

even when she was angry, seol yoona looked as pretty as the day you saw her.

lily was worried about you.

like the other girls, you were mourning the loss of yunjin. she can see the way your eyes dulled whenever you heard her voice, or the angry expression whenever the head of div3 suggested rerecording her lines. she could tell by the way you weren't eating, and the way that the collection of your unfinished water bottles was starting to amass under your bed.

she could also see that you longed for someone, someone that wasn't yunjin.

(and it would be a disaster. she knew it.)

she was right, and it started a week after the new year, the heater blowing in the kitchen as the stove sent heat waves across the room.

"unnie." yoona whispered, feeling guilty.

"hey." you smiled. she was finally talking to you. "you okay?"

"i'm sorry."

"it's okay." you shrugged, stirring the kimchi soup in front of you. "i get it. i was upset when i found out too."

yoona hummed, watching your eyes closely. against the cool-toned light, it was a light brown, almost hazel. it was pretty.

"is she happy?" yoona asked. "yunjin, i mean."

"yeah." you nodded, ignoring the pain in your chest. it never got easier talking about her. you moved the pot to a different burner, and turned off the stove. "she's doing well. a new company got her."

"that's good." she said, watching as you washed your hands with cold water and soap.

yoona turned off the heater, the room too hot for her to think.

quietly, she crept up behind you, resting her head on your shoulder.

"yoona?" you muttered, eyes wide.

"unnie," she whispered. "you don't like me, right?"

you looked at the doe eyed girl. "like romantically?"

yoona nodded, moving in closer. you could feel her warm breath against your lips.

every fiber in your body wanted to tell the younger girl. you wanted to tell her the truth, but it was something you'd been avoiding yourself.

"no." you couldn't. not when she was in your reach. "no, i don't."

"okay."

she closed the gap between you two, and for the first time in weeks, she felt closer to yunjin.

you weren't stupid. you knew what yoona was doing.

for the past month, the two of you have been sneaking around, stealing fleeting kisses in hopes to mend what was broken. at night, she would sneak into your room, and your three hours of sleep would get reduced to one at most. you'd 'wake up' with bruised lips, and a suspicious burn from yesterday's 'curling iron'.

you were a distraction, a replacement.

you weren't stupid. you were hoping it wasn't true.

"hey, unnie." yoona snuck in again, the familiar sounds of lily snoring entering her senses.

"yoona." you sat up, watching as she shut the door. "hey."

yoona made her way towards you, the air of the fan blowing wind in her face.

"i missed you." you whispered quietly, kissing her as if you were a soldier going off to war.

her cheeks turned bright red. "i missed you too."

"how was your day?" you moved up, letting the younger girl sit on your lap as you stoked her hair.

"i was with you the entire day." yoona giggled. she loved feeling your cold finger running through her scalp. she felt loved.

you pulled back. "i still wanna know how you're doing."

you looked at yoona's eyes.

oh.

"i'm fine."

"yoona..." you swallowed. you knew what was going to happen. your worst fears were going to come true. "you can talk to me."

"can i sleep here tonight?" yoona's voice was little, like the day you first met her.

you nodded, pulling her into your arms. "what's wrong?"

yoona's body began to wrack, and your shoulder slowly became wet.

"i miss yunjin."

you'd never be yunjin.

"i do too." you nodded.

"unnie," yoona sobbed harder, "it hurts."

she was right. it hurt everywhere. in your joints, in your muscles, in your brain, in your heart.

"i know, baby." you blinked the tears away. "it'll get better."

"i miss her so much." you felt yoona adjust her head, crying into your neck, "unnie, i love her."

you swallowed. now wasn't the time to cry,

"i know." you rubbed her back. "just cry it out, baby."

she fell asleep ten minutes later, and lily woke up to you sobbing next to yoona.

you wondered if butterflies, though beautiful, could be poisonous.

you have heard stories of animals trying to eat them, and though you lacked knowledge about the topic, you couldn't help but wonder. it would make sense if they did. something so beautiful must have some downsides.

perhaps the butterfly had made other animals sick to the stomach instead. animals could no longer eat or sleep due to the butterfly and perhaps, that is what leads to their death.

you wondered when you were going to die from this.

"you can't keep doing this to yourself."

doing what exactly? the girls knew. everyone knew except for yoona. shin yuna, an old friend of yours, had even offered to grab lunch with you just so you could eat something.

but yoona was crying in the practice room again, and you couldn't leave her there.

"i don't know what you're talking about, haewon."

"you do." haewon sighed, the lines between her eyebrows evident. she was glad most of the girls had gone out. kyujin looked between the both of you, slightly flustered. "lily-unnie is getting worried. she said you aren't talking to her anymore."

"i'm fine." you muttered, trying to see the tv. "leave me alone."

"you aren't fine." haewon grabbed the remote, hastily turning it off. "stop pretending you are."

you stood up, looking your leader in the eye with an icy glare. "i'm fine."

haewon scoffed. you didn't terrify her. you were just hurt, and she was tired of everyone trying to gently usher you to open up.

"why are you letting yoona hurt you like that, huh?" haewon squinted, the pain in your eyes shining through.

"shut up."

"are you upset yunjin is gone?" haewon continued, a finger on your chest as she pushed you back on the couch. "or are you avoiding it?"

kyujin stood up, palms clammy at the sight of the two of you fighting. "haewon-unnie, stop."

"no." haewon said sternly. "y/n. you need to tell me or i swear to god-"

"unnie-"

"she's being selfish, kyujin! it's affecting the group." she turned to you. "our group."

"you've got it fucking wrong."

kyujin chuckled slightly, trying to pull the leader away before the two of you started brawling in the living room.

"then tell me!" haewon yelled, her glare matching yours. "tell me why you're messing up choreo. tell me why your voice is cracking during recordings. are you upset? are you hurt?"

"unnie, please."

haewon shook kyujin's arm off. "what the fuck is it?!"

"i'm in love with yoona." you scoffed, tears in your eyes. "okay? are you fucking happy?"

you watched as haewon looked away, while kyujin refused to tear her eyes away from you.

"i'm in love with yoona, and she's in love with yunjin, and i can't even process her leaving because i have to comfort yoona who cries about her all the damn time."

"y/n-"

"and i'm tired!" you yelled, laughing as streams of tears finally poured down your face. "my body is always fucking sore! i can't breathe on stage because it reminds me of yunjin, and i can't fucking sleep because i'm too busy trying to be quiet so yoona doesn't hear my cry myself to sleep because she'll never love me!"

haewon stared at you as you continued to laugh, burying your face in your hands.

"unnie." kyujin whispered softly, sitting next to you.

"i'm sorry." you didn't know who you were apologizing to. maybe it was the girls, maybe it was yunjin, maybe yoona. "i'm... so sorry."

"unnie..."

"i'm trying." you looked up at haewon, eyes teary. "i'm just... so tired."

she understood, and all you needed was someone to understand.

"sleep in my room tonight." haewon looked away, wiping the stray tears in her eyes. "that's a leader's demand."

"i don't want to." you shook your head. yoona would need you tonight, to hold her together.

haewon glared at you.

"fine."

the leader smiled.

"can i come?" kyujin asked, pouting her lips slightly.

later that night, you slept in between the two. haewon nearly smothered you in your sleep while kyujin snored so loud that you nearly burst an eardrum.

you haven't slept that well since you were a trainee.

you've been sleeping beside haewon and kyujin for two weeks straight, and today was the first time you entered your shared room with lily.

"are you okay?"

you looked at her.

"i know about yoona" she sat next to you as you packed your stuff on the floor. "i'm your roommate. you think i don't hear you crying after she falls asleep?"

you swallowed your tears and embarrassment back. "sorry."

the room went silent, and lily could help but feel disappointed in herself. you were like a little sister to her, and she should've gone to you the moment she knew something was wrong. she had been too focused on yunjin to find time for you.

"it probably hurts, huh?" you felt lily rub your back, and you tried to blink your tears away.

you nodded, sniffling as you continued to pack.

lily was the older sister you had always wished for. she was the type to try to cook for you, but end up with a batch of burnt pancakes on the firey stove. her voice was a familiar soothing that could break down your walls.

but being the only child, you had the facade of independence. you could take care of yourself, but only physically. yunjin needed the two of you more than you needed lily.

still, you were like lily's younger sister.

she sighed, watching tears fall down your face. it was the first time in five years that she's seen you cry.

"have haewon and kyujin been helping?"

you nodded again. "yes."

tears started flowing faster, and all you wanted was to cry. you hung your head low, not wanting someone you cared about to see you in a state like this.

"i'm sorry you thought you couldn't go to me." lily moved her head lower, trying to look you in the eye. "but as long as you had someone, i'm okay."

you looked at her. "you're not mad?"

"why would i be mad?" her heart broke at the sight of you.

you thought of many things that she could be mad at you for; for falling in love with a girl, for falling in love with a member, etc. but the worst one was definitely your feelings about yunjin.

in a small voice you whispered, "i'm upset because of yunjin."

"no. of course i'm not mad." lily smiled, her eyes shining with unshed tears. your words tore threw her. "did you think i'd be mad? is that why you didn't go to me?"

you nodded, eyes meeting lily's.

the older girl smiled through her tears. "i'm sorry."

"it's okay."

"it's not." lily frowned. "i'm your unnie."

"unnie," you laughed, nearly choking on your spit. "you're barely a year older."

"still." lily hugged you, and the barrier broke. with haewon and kyujin, you were holding back, but this time it was different. "why can't you just leave it all for me, huh?"

"it's okay." lily rubbed your back, tears falling as you struggled to breath. "don't cry."

cold. you needed the cold.

"lily-unnie." you whined.

"i know."

she turned on the fan beside her.

haewon kept telling you that it was a good thing that you were gaining weight.

your cheeks were fuller than they had ever been (jinsol and jiwoo were ecstatic), and though your figure wasn't as lean as it used to be, you were no longer severely underweight.

"you've been hanging out with haewon a lot." yoona muttered as the two of you got changed to go home.

haewon had basically kicked jinsol out and made her switch with kyujin so it would be more convenient for the three of you to have 'growing time' or whatever she called it during that one live.

you've been over in their dorm for almost a month straight, and you hadn't 'seen' yoona since then.

you nodded. "i have."

"i never see you anymore." yoona pouted, and you never wanted to kiss her more. "i miss you."

you couldn't. yoona was beautiful, but she was deadly.

"i miss you too." you said dully.

yoona blinked, watching as you turned away from her. it was as if she had gotten impaled by a sharp rod straight through her chest.

"unnie." worry burnt up inside her. "did i do something?"

"no, of course not." you told her in a monotone voice as you took off your shirt. it was like lava being poured into her ears. "you did nothing wrong, yoona."

you felt distant, like she was on the sun and you were back on earth. hot tears poured from her eyes as her body nearly imploded.

she hated the heat.

you turned around to find yoona staring at you, tears pouring onto her newly changed shirt.

"why are you crying?" you rushed to her, wiping her eyes, still without a top.

she closed her eyes, feeling your cold hands against her face.

"you never call me yoona." she blubbered. she was losing you, and if losing yunjin broke her, losing you would make it irreparable.

you frowned, kissing her soundly as if it was the only thing to stop her tears from falling.

yoona gripped your back, searching for anything that was cold. the skin on your back, soft like the clouds blowing across the field, and the dip of your neck, smooth like the wind across the sea. she needed the cold.

she needed you.

"do you like haewon-unnie?" yoona pulled away, tracing your cheek with her thumb.

beautiful, she thought.

"as a friend?" you looked at her, confused. "yes."

she kissed you again, your lips cold against hers.

"unnie," yoona asked. "you're not gonna leave me, right?"

you shook your head.

"no."

it got better before it got worse.

the release of your b-track had mixed reviews, albeit better than o.o, but many fans had accused you of trying to replace yunjin. death threats piled up in your inbox, and the ceo of jyp had to put out a public statement in order to lessen the hate.

it didn't matter. they still hated you, and you couldn't help but agree.

the yoona situation had gotten out of control once more. it was like a cycle. no matter how hard you tried to leave her, she was always going to be a part of you. yoona was addictive.

you ended up throwing yourself into work once more, losing the weight that you once gained in a blink of an eye. your members and your staff, even yoona, had noticed and tried to pull you away from it.

her worries no longer centered on a certain ex-member, but on you instead. instead of crying in your arms, she'd try ushering you into her bed, wrapping her arms around you as she coaxed you to sleep. she'd bake cookies, no longer as a distraction but as a way to get you to eat.

yoona was living for you.

but nothing could save you from the pain that you had begun to use as a distraction. the sleepless nights were spent dancing in front of a studio mirror, practicing until your muscles ached, until you were about to pass out.

(one time, TWICE had walked in on you practicing at 7am, right when they were about to start. jihyo ended up talking to haewon later that week.)

you kept running away from the criticism, from the hate, from yoona... from yunijn.

you wished you were brave like yunjin.

"y/nnie." haewon called out, laying flat on the living room floor.

"haewon."

she looked at you, a smile on her face. "if you need to, you should."

you looked away.

"we'll be waiting." haewon said, turning her head to the ceiling. she heard you sniffle. "we'll be fine. me and lily-unnie will be here."

you took a deep breath in.

"and me too!"

"jang kyujin!" haewon yelled, making the younger girl squeak. "stop eavesdropping!"

a faint sorry could be heard from the room, and you couldn't help but chuckle through your tears.

"can i really?" hope. you felt hope. "you won't get mad?"

"no." haewon sighed. she sat up to face you, your eyes and angry red. "are you gonna tell-"

"can you?"

"okay." haewon nodded. "i'll go get the girls and our manager."

yunjin was brave. so were you.

"yoona."

"unnie." yoona smiled at the girl who greeted her at the door. the cool air of spring blew behind her. "where's y/n-unnie? she's been stressed out this week so i'm gonna ask if she wants to go to the butterfly festival with me."

"yoona." haewon closed her eyes, closing the door behind her to conserve the hot air in the dorm. "she's not gonna be with us for awhile."

yoona's face dropped before she smiled once more. you wouldn't leave her, you promised.

"like a variety show?"

"yoona."

"what?"

"yoona."

yoona hates the heat. she'd much rather bask in the cold.

Hello, this is JYPE.

We would like to inform you about NMIXX member Y/n's current health situation and her further participation in NMIXX.

Currently, Y/n is struggling with depression and psychological burnout regarding her career. After extensive discussion with Y/n and members of NMIXX, we have decided that Y/n's current condition requires additional treatment, professional measures, and sufficient rest.

We value our artists’ mental and physical health more than anything, so we inform you that Y/n will be unable to attend NMIXX's activities until further notice. We will keep you updated on any changes in the future.

We ask for your love and support for Y/n's full recovery.

Thank you.

> main masterlist.

#sullyoon x reader #seol yoona x reader #nmixx x reader #kpop x reader #idol x reader #wlw #silantryo

[ot9snumber1]

call me at midnight

hirai momo x blackpink!reader

summary: you think four best friends are enough to get you by in life. that is, until jennie introduces you to nayeon, and until nayeon introduces you to momo.

warnings: fluff, introverted reader, rushed bc i wanted to put it out for momo's bday <3 happy bday my best girl!

—

being friends with jennie means being friends with a lot of people. namely, the three other girls in your group—whom you met thanks to jennie forcing you to be social during your trainee days.

it all paid off, of course. debuting in a group with your four closest friends was a dream come true! you were convinced you needed nothing else in life.

until jennie introduces you to her other idol friends.

if being friends with jennie meant being friends with a lot of people, then being friends with nayeon meant being friends with half the world.

she was so friendly and energetic, you couldn't possibly stay still around her! (she even tells you that you remind her of one of her members.)

okay. your four best friends and one new friend, surely that was more than enough, right?

"and this is jeongyeon, sana, jihyo, mina, dahyun, chaeyoung, and tzuyu!" nayeon says energetically as she pointed to various members in the practice room.

you nod, trying to remember all their names. (you eye everyone carefully. jeongyeon, sara, ji...jiwoo?, miyeon, dahyun, chae...won, nevermind. you'd figure them all out eventually.)

"i thought twice was nine?" you ask nayeon, who seems to have a revelation when you mention that. nayeon snaps her fingers, "ah! momo hasn't come back from the bathroom!" she groans, "i bet she stopped by the vending machines for snacks again."

just then, a dark-haired girl with blunt bangs walked into the practice room, soda and a tiny bag of chips in hand. you swear you see nayeon's eye twitch, but you were a bit too distracted by the sudden wave of nervousness you felt from being in the mystery girl's presence.

the mystery girl who you realize is momo.

the momo who you spent about an hour talking her ear off after she offered some chips. (you tend to ramble when you get nervous, you tend to get nervous when you're around pretty girls. momo is a pretty girl.)

(...and nayeon's pissed you forgot to record the dance challenge she invited you over for. at least you can go back and see momo again?)

you develop a crush on momo a lot faster than you realize. you're always talking about her, making excuses to mention something she said or likes, comparing her to anything your members do.

it was very suspicious for you to talk about someone you only met once this much. naturally, your members find out about your crush before you do.

"you like momo, huh?" lisa suddenly pipes up while you're trying to stretch. "didn't know you were into dancers. you know, me and momo kind of have the same hair—"

"hold on, what the hell are you talking about me liking momo?" you resist the urge to smack lisa for flirting with you, but you've known her for years now. it was something you just grew to tolerate somehow.

"you talk about her all the time! especially about how cool her haircut is, or her voice, or some random habit you saw from the one minute you spent with her.

"..it was one hour."

"that doesn't make any difference." lisa crosses her arms and stands up straight in front of you. "i can't believe you don't realize how smitten you are with her."

"don't word it like that." you cross your arms too, like a kid retaliating against their playground bully. the two of you have a staring contest that you eventually lose because the stupid grin that appears on her face when you start blushing distracts you.

"you should ask for her number! mina says she's really sweet." lisa teases, you just shove her face away and get to practice.

of course the other three weren't immune to teasing you either.

rosé didn't bother you as much as lisa did, but her little comments about how you were buying more peaches recently or taking more dance classes never failed to make you blush.

and somehow, even with lisa teasing you, her witty attacks were nothing compared to what jennie and jisoo had in store.

"y/n-ah, i bought those drinks you wanted." jisoo says as she returned to the dorms, handing you the plastic bag while you barely leaned up from the couch to gracefully accept it. "thank youuuuu!" you sigh happily, hugging the three bottles before sitting up to drink one.

"i also dropped by twice's dorms to give something back to nayeon. momo says hi." you nearly spit out your drink and ruin the blanket you just bought.

weeks had gone by and you'd already endured the teasing from three members. jennie was awfully silent whenever momo would be brought up, which worried you even more. not knowing if she just didn't care or if she had the most sinister plan than all of them combined made your stomach flip uncomfortably.

it turned out to be the latter.

"y/n?" jennie yawns, walking into your room one night when you couldn't sleep. "forgot to give this to you." she mumbles, handing a piece of paper with glittery pink writing on it before saying goodnight and leaving.

after jennie shuts the door, you inspect the paper and nearly scream.

call me, y/n! i don't mind listening to you talk~ ♡ 모모

(maybe it wasn't an evil plan, but it sure was evil to casually give you a heart attack at 12 AM.)

you take momo's note a little too literally and call her number. you sink deep into your blanket out of nervousness and excitement. (and the realization that you were calling her this late!)

"hello?"

it was the first time you heard her voice since the day you met the rest of twice. surprisingly, she didn't sound tired at all.

"hi, momo!" you huff out, sounding completely out of breath. "jennie gave me your number just now."

you can hear an "oh!" and what you assume to be momo getting in bed. "well, what are you waiting for? tell me about your day!"

you smile, your nerves being eased by momo's comfortable aura. you could feel it through the phone, somehow.

"well, jisoo told me you said hi."

"i did!" you both chuckle quietly. "she was asking for nayeon, but nay wasn't home yet so i talked to her for a bit and she mentioned how you were doing."

you audibly gulp at the idea of that. knowing jisoo, you're almost 100% sure she was telling momo good things. still, it didn't hurt to confirm that.

"all good things, i hope."

"oh, yeah, don't worry. she kept going on and on about how you love dogs and how clingy you are when you're comfortable with someone.."

you bite your lip, was there such thing as too good? jisoo was trying to set you up with momo! shamelessly! and momo didn't notice!

"that's good." you take deep breaths as you hear silence from the other end of the call. "she bought me some drinks that i've been asking for, too. well, more like begging, but i did it really nicely!" you could hear momo struggle not to laugh, it makes you laugh too.

"anyway, she bought me this peach juice i've been wanting to try. then mango juice, and my favorite apple cider."

momo gasps, "you like apple cider?"

"of course!"

"me too!" you can practically hear the smile in her voice. "i'll bring you some next time i see you then."

"i'll be waiting!"

momo has tear stains on her cheeks from laughing so hard and her cheeks hurt from smiling so much by the time she goes to sleep that night.

momo loves talking to you.

#hirai momo x reader #momo x reader #twice x reader #twice imagines #hirai momo imagines #twice fluff

[yuhzz]

pizza delivery! - idol mywk.skr x le sserafim 6th member fem!reader

summary: you still haven't confessed to sakura, so she takes the liberty to confess first after getting jealous about a pizza delivery call.

warning: fluff(again). you are an '00 liner.

word count: 1.4k words

==============

it's too obvious. you have a crush on your fellow member, sakura.

everybody knows it, except her.

or maybe she knows that you have a crush on her and she's just waiting for you to make a move about it.

or maybe vice versa.

the only problem was that...

none of the two of you were making a move about it.

today, you (along with the other members) are practicing for your upcoming comeback, unforgiven.

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and uh!" yunjin counted as you all danced to the title track.

"w-wait a minute! i'm tired!" eunchae complained and dropped herself to the floor dramatically.

you giggled at her. "get up, manchae. you should at least sit on the couch if you're going to take a break" you said and offered her a hand.

a pout formed on her lips before accepting your hand and walking towards the couch. you chuckled at the youngest before feeling your phone vibrate against your pocket.

since your pants had a zipper securing your pockets, you had to zip it down before you took your phone out.

you raised your eyebrows upon noticing the familiar contact number. and as soon as you accepted the call and heard a voice, a huge smile was plastered on your face.

"hm?" you heard somebody hum behind you. when you turned around, you saw all the members trying their best to hear whoever it was you were talking to.

except for sakura who was quiet beside the other members.

anyway, as soon as you saw them get closer to you, you decided to move to the other side of the room.

"hello?" you asked.

"hello, ma'am? i'm right outside the building" the voice greeted.

"alright, wait. this is the pizza, right?" you tried reconfirming it.

"that is right, ma'am" after getting your reaffirmation, even your eyes were smiling.

"what the...? who has got her smiling like that???" chaewon wondered and tried of thinking of people you're close with who's probably going out on a date with you.

"hmm, maybe minji?"

"nope, minji's going out with hanni"

"maybe bae?"

"bae and jiwoo's got something going on between them"

"how about gaeul unnie?"

"also not her. you know she and yunjin are crushing on each other"

"then who could it possibly be?"

the other girls continued wondering about it, and sakura seemed to have had enough of it all.

so she stomped away aggressively and walks out of the room - slamming the door right behind her - catching you all off-guard.

you raised your eyebrows at them, silently asking about what happened.

however, all of them could only frown and shrug since they also do not know the reason why sakura acted like that.

"is everything okay there, ma'am?"

you heard the pizza delivery man asked.

"yes! yes, everything is completely fine..." you trailed off, slowly getting worried about your fellow member.

"uhm, sir. i'm really sorry about this but, can you just deliver the food up here instead? i know we talked about me picking it up but it just so happened that i have to do something" you apologized and hoped that he would agree so that you could talk to sakura.

"sure thing, ma'am."

"okay, thanks! by the way, the guard will probably ask where your destination will be so if you can, please walk up to him so that i can tell him you're delivering the pizza to us" you said.

the pizza delivery man obliged, walked up to the guard and handed him the phone.

"hello?"

"oh! hyun-seop oppa, the pizza's for us." after hearing your voice, hyun-seop happily replied, "noted on that y/n-ssi".

hyun-seop gave the phone back to the latter.

"hello, ma'am?"

"ah, sir. our dance practice room number is four. just ask the guard about the directions, okay?"

"okay"

he said and you hung up, almost rushing outside to find sakura right after.

"unnie...where are you?" you mumbled while looking around until suddenly, you heard incoherent whispers near the bathroom.

"damn it, i should've known she didn't feel the same" someone cursed.

you raised your eyebrows and wondered who it was. although the familiar voice kinda gave it away already.

as you turned the corner, you saw sakura leaning against the wall.

her hands were inside her pockets whilst her right foot was kicking the air.

she looked cute and you know it.

with a subtle smile, you called her out. "unnie. what are you doing here?" you asked, almost whispering, but it was loud enough for her to hear.

her cheeks suddenly flushed, and now she was trying to compose herself in front of you.

"me? nothing...just...waiting for the restroom to empty out" she lied.

"eh? but no one's inside though..." you pointed out and she just noticed.

"uh..." she trailed off.

noticing that she seemed tense and somehow nervous, you approached her and held her shoulders, caressing them softly, showing her that whatever her problem is, you'll always be there to listen to it. in fact, you were like this even towards the other members but sakura was special.

she held a special place inside your heart.

so even if her problem's about breaking your heart or something, you'd still listen and do everything for her.

because you like her.

wait, no.

scratch that.

you love her.

"unnie, be honest with me. lately, you've been avoiding the other members and i, now, you just simply walked out without context. is there something wrong going on?" you asked her.

you worried even more when she didn't answer.

what is really going on?

"i..." finally, she uttered a word.

"y/n"

"yes, unnie?" you were getting ready.

"i..." she trailed off, building suspense.

you were utterly curious about what she had to say.

and at last, after a few minutes of waiting, she said the words you least expect to come out of her mouth.

"i like you"

she said, examining your face to see what kind of reaction you will have.

you, on the other hand, didn't know what to feel.

is this even real?

your eyes were wide.

"u-unnie" you stuttered, not knowing what to say.

is it really true?

is it true that the person you've been crushing on, likes you back?

"holy- this must be a dream" you mumbled.

"is this only a dream, unnie? are you only a dream? God, my crush like me back in my dream!" you exclaimed, your mouth slightly ajar.

she giggled.

damn.

even her giggle sounds like heaven to you.

just how much have you fallen for this girl, y/n?

"maybe this is just a dream-"

suddenly, you were cut off.

if your eyes were wide then, it sure is wider now.

your stomach started puking butterflies (is it even possible for your stomach to puke butterflies?) when you felt her warm lips against yours and holy shit.

it was real. this is real. she was real.

a few seconds later, she slowly pulled back and gently opened her eyes - almost immediately giggling when she saw your state.

"i'm glad i was wrong about you liking someone else" she said and smiled.

"come on, let's go back" she mumbled and took your hands.

you let her do whatever it is she wanted.

but one thing made you wonder.

"unnie, why did you leave earlier?" you asked her.

she tensed up and blushed hardcore when you brought that topic up.

"earlier...?" she asked.

"mhm," you hummed.

"well- i uh- how do i put this?" she shyly laughed.

"uhm, i was jealous?" she was sure yet unsure.

"jealous? why?" you pondered.

"i was jealous because of the person you were on call with" she sighed.

you raised your eyebrows.

"you were jealous of the pizza delivery guy?" you asked.

she faced you and had her eyebrows furrowed.

"pizza...delivery guy?" she asked you.

"uhm, yeah?"

"oh" was all she could say. you wondered and started to worry again. who did she expect you were talking to?

"hello? unnie?" you snapped your fingers in front of her.

"i can't believe i was jealous for nothing" she mumbled to herself and chuckled.

"huh? what is it?"

"no, nothing" she sheepishly smiled and continued walking again - her hands still against yours.

you were dead curious about what she just said but thought that maybe it was better not to pry.

and sakura silently thanked you for it.

because if you did pry and asked more about the topic, you would've been teasing her non-stop right now.

but of course, that doesn't mean that she hates getting teased, especially by you.

in fact, it was something that she looks forward to.

#le sserafim imagines #kpop x reader #le sserafim x reader #miyawaki sakura #sakura #sakura x reader #miyawaki sakura x reader #kpop #le sserafim #yuhzz #kpop gg #le sserafim scenarios

[mintchoccy]

THE GIRL WITH A BROKEN SPINE

NMIXX Lily Morrow

actually this is my first oneshot differently from my "Untitled" series. enjoy! (ps. inspired from this one heck of a piece. another version from that piece has been published by my friend @elryuse in their Wattpad. go check those two out!)

"get over here!"

Lily grabs the hem of your shirt, dragging you to the stockroom owned by the PE faculty. You don't expect this behavior to your senior, who was the smartest student in the school, as well as the school's singing champion.

For a quick rundown, Lily Morrow, is your senior. Right after you enter the campus on your second year of high school, you fall in love with her, but you can't express it directly. During your first school assembly, you were starstrucked on her beauty alongside her powerful voice as a member of a girl group named &Nixx.

As the school year came by, you and Lily had little or none interactions as you are focused on your studies, so does Lily. During school assembly, you always see her performing with her group and you could only just watch there, and admire. Only admire. As she goes to perform, you could shout for her attention.

“LILY-SUNBAENIM, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!” “LILY, I LOVE YOU!”

The second one could only hit her hard, as she started to lose some focus as she tried to find the source of that voice. The voice that found her happiness, that kind of admiration. However, as they finished the performance, she could look for nothing. But until then, a guy came to her, who is coincidentally trying to find her as well.

“Lily Morrow, from Performing Arts?” you asked. “Y/N Lee, from International Studies.” she replied.

As you hand her some liquids and your handkerchief as her refresher, you had just shoot your shot for her. Sounds cheesy but it was your first time to make a move on a girl for a long time. You can see that she finds it funny, but you don’t mind because that’s the way of trying. Nothing seems to go wrong, right?

Wrong. Ever since that incident, you thought she found it annoying so you decided to stop approaching her during her breaks, or even eat with her for lunch. Oftentimes, you go the other way when you see her approaching you, making her mad at you. Lily would think to herself why she feels like you annoyed her at times but in reality, it just makes things even easier for her to love you.

It would get worse when Kim Jiwoo, or Chuu, your best friend's friend always hangs out with you, making the case more difficult with her and you on her goal to get your heart.

In the school comfort room, you are inside in one of the cubicles, fapping to porn. Lily, on the other hand, is currently on her not-so-normal activity of fishing you out where you could have go. This time, you are in the men's CR, and she quickly entered inside silently.

Confusingly, you immediately halted on what are you doing because maybe there's somethin entered, but unbeknownst to you, Lily silently locked the door, putting a sign saying "under repair" to avoid suspicion. After a few minutes, you return on what are you doing.

Playing the video again, you take out your cock, and gently stroking it, imagining it was Lily's hand stroking you. "Oh god, Lily, please stroke it more", you muttered. Lily, on the other hand, was turned on at what she's hearing. Yes, she always masturbated for you, but from your voice itself really hits right to the bone.

To your cubicle, Lily sneaks at the front of the cubicle door, silently hearing those moans. "Fuck! Oh yes, that's the spot! Keep sucking me with your tongue!" You moaned. Lily wasted no time and she pulls down her panties, putting her fingers quickly to her clit.

"Mfffff, ohhhhh" Lily moaned, but not as loudly as you moaned. She muffled her moans in order to not get any attention from you and caught her jerking off to you as well. Exchanging moans back and forth, uttering out each other's sexual pents to each other.

"Fuck, you're so good Lily-ah, please suck me more!" you moaned. "That's it baby, eat my cunt even more! Fuck, feels so good!" Lily moaned.

Both of you cum intensively, with Lily falling into her knees, dragging her down to the ground, behind a closed door where you are staying.

After the session, you immediately cleaned yourself, and put the soiled tissues on a bag you brought for later disposal. However, while leaving the cubicle, you found someone who is oddly familiar to you.

"Lily?", you asked, finding her half-passed out, her skirt wet and panties ruined. From that point, you know it's checkmate.

Lily on the other hand immediately woke up and instantly looked up to you. Shocked at your state, fully clothed and ready to leave, but yet puzzled face. She then pulled you in back to the cubicle, didn't care the puddle on her spot.

"Now, I heard you moaning for me?" Lily asked. You could only send a glare on her, speechless for her aggressiveness. "Well, if you won't talk, I'll drain you again", Lily added. She won't be kidding, as she unzip you down, fishing out the cock you've just been beaten for porn. She would care at all.

Starting to stroke it up and down, she started to lick her lips, admiring the size of your dick. For her perspective, she finally had the chance to submit. But for you, you are still clueless.

"W-why are you doing this? Is this some kind of a joke for you to do against me?" You started to spew out, as she kept her hands on your length.

"No baby, this is just my first step. Remember, you are finally mine. You get it?" Lily replied. She doesn't care if you call for a thousand saints.

Keeping the pace of her hands, she could only jerk your cock off. Looking at her face, she could be the biggest winner as she only looked up and down on her precious prize, and decided to gulp the meat, savoring the taste of it.

Looking back, you could only feel the pleasure, and the electricity jolted your body for the new sensation. Sure, Lily wasn't this type of girl but for you, it was surely the weakest point you've become. No people to call to, nothing at all.

Lily worshiped your cock like a toy. Playing with her saliva, she kept sliding your dick to her mouth, then jerking it at a fast pace.

"Will you cum for me baby? Will you cum, will you cum, will you cum? I know how much you love to cum for me baby. You are my toy. You are my precious, little toy. Now brace yourself, 'cause shit's gonna be in my favor ahihihihihi.....", and with that, with the help of her saliva, her hand, and her tongue. You came harder than a pitcher throwing a 120 mph fastball as streaks of cum splattered on your owner's face. Some of it splatters to her eyelashes, her nose, and her cheeks. She then cleans your cock with her tongue, sucking until it's squeaky clean.

"Thanks for the meal, baby. Please have your things packed, you're going home with me", Lily stood up and cleansed her face with her fingers. "Hmmmmm, delicious. can't wait to taste it more later", she added with a wink.

Since then, you were bounded to her. No asks, no reasons, just she took you to her home, only to be her so-called "boyfriend" in front of her friends and family.

However, behind all that, she could only make you go down for her, doing some kinky things for her. On a leash, licking her feet, and even eating her ass whenever she's stressed out during rehearsals.

But at the same time, she would prevent you from talking with your friends, even talking with her own circle. Even in class, she would tell your teacher that you should do your work alone than in groups. You would complain, but you would likely be punished by her afterwards.

It's been 6 months since that incident, and it's Valentine's Day. Sure, no one would likely give you something like chocolates or letters. But for Lily, she received a ton of them. Being the most popular member has perks, but you don't care because she deserves it all.

Walking down the hall, some run to you, and seem to want you to know her feelings.

"Oppa! Please accept my letter. I wrote it all night for you." she said, running away again.

"Odd," you could only reply. Opening the letter, you saw the name of the sender. “Chuu? As in Kim Jiwoo from the culinary arts? I’m too flushed”, you could only say. As you keep reading the contents of the letter, someone on your way just can’t wait to confront you, and decides to drag you out of the scene.

“WHAT’S INTO YOU? WAIT! DON’T DRAG ME SO HARD LIKE THAT!” You could only cry out as your clothes started to stain with the dirt from the shoes walking around the corridor. You then looked at her face, and you know she’s not happy when you talk to other girls.

"Get over here!" said Lily, dragging you to a stockroom. Looking around the room, this is where PE teachers used to stock all of their sports paraphernalia for future use and for the Intramurals.

“Now, look at me~ you said you will not look at other girls other than me, yeah?” you only nod. “Then why”, says with diction, “you”, with anger. “Disobey”, with madness, “my rules?”, with something lewd, something I heard from the ASMRs that I watched. What is it again? Yeah, yanderes.

“Hey, don’t look away, I’m still talking to you”, grabbing your chin to look at her. “Now, what should I do to you to obey me at once?”, she added.

“I don’t know Lily, I don’t know!” You replied. Even though your muscles are quite thick, you can’t still let go from the grasps of the Australian yandere.

Laughing, she then tears the buttons of your shirt down, revealing your body. Just for the record, you even had body fats, but slashing down the visceral fats worked due to months of cardio in the gym and football practices.

Smirking, she only added insult to injury by plucking down your belt, pulling down the pants and boxers altogether revealing your cock.

Looking at it, you can’t say if she’s just taking your attention to her. But in reality, she’s too focused on taking you and your virginity away to be hers and hers only.

“Look at you, dipshit. Didn’t you know I was the reason why I kept you out of all the classwork, I kept you all from interacting with others? It’s because I want you to focus on me. ON ME! But why suddenly, you refuse to accept my offer, huh? Right now, I’m going to take you, and your cock, and your life away from them. Don’t you see, I am the only person who only loves you?” She whispered to your ear. The eyes started to turn pink, as if she’s like a real-life yandere going wild for her senpai.

Nothing to say at all, she decided to sink her way into you by lining her now naked pussy, plunging it down inside her. Muffling your moans, she found it addicting that you are finally inside of her, and no one would stop her from doing so.

“Well baby, can’t you see? I am the only one who can make you feel like this. I am the only one who can make you happy. You are the only one who can make me happy. I am the only one who can marry you. I! AM! THE! ONLY! ONE! FOR! YOU!” she said in every pound she makes against you, she speaks as your brain starts to melt from her tightness.

In deep agony, you think that this torture is endless. Thinking about it, it was the worst dream that you can imagine. You wish to the gods that this would never happen, but they didn’t bother you to listen. Every slap of her thigh to you seems to be a torture, as Lily didn’t bother you to listen to your plead, still covering your mouth from moans or pleads of help you may mutter.

She kept going and going. Pleasuring herself on the human meat dildo on her lap, the person was immobilized by her hands making you stay still, her hand still on your mouth. So maybe you’ll ask, “how I can’t use my other hands to set myself free?” Well, my other hand was crushed on the back when I got thrown out earlier, and I can’t take it back. Well, tough luck.

As she rides you, the impending orgasm leaves you in a hallucination phase. You’ve become lightheaded as Lily kept riding your cock, her orgasm after orgasm. Strike one, her eyes start to glow more pink hearts. Strike two, your back and even chest are scratched by her nails. Strike three, all hell broke loose.

“Baby?” She asked, still your dick is inside her. “You know, I always dreamt of this moment. Don’t you worry. After this, we are bound forever. And no one would ever stand in our way”, she added. As if the clock strikes twelve, so as her. She slammed on you deep, a sign that you’ve cummed, a moaning mess all over her face as she clung on your neck.

Detaching herself from you, the overflow of cum all over her pussy was leaking. Scooping and eating the leak, you could only see her face turn into a deep obsession.

“You’re officially mine”

(notes: finally, after over a year, this piece will be finally out. the wattpad version will be out too after this piece goes live.)

#nmixx #nmixx smut #nmixx lily #lily morrow #yandere #kpop yandere

[sserajeans]

you are in love | 51. the christmas fair pt. 1 (written)

the christmas fair was an annual tradition for the small town. the same way it was snhs' tradition to have "confession season" around the holidays, it was also tradition to bring dates for the christmas fair. not necessarily romantic ones, but the tickets were good for 2 to encourage company and joy during the season.

now, the fair was very much loud and very much eventful. it was the thing going on in town, and almost everyone was gonna be there within the days it’d be open. from food, to items, to even attractions like the ferris wheel, the fair had it all.

because of its loud nature though, y/n could already hear the faint sound of music and screams as she parked in front of danielle’s house (pestering hyein to move to the back from the passenger’s seat).

just in time, the korean-australian opened the front door, bid her older sister goodbye, and turned around to face lee y/n.

everyone was dressed for the weather; danielle in a turtle neck and bubble jacket, y/n in her “corny” hoodie under the brand new trench hyein bought (surprisingly under budget). the fact that they argued last minute before leaving made hyein sigh, realizing that this was one of the moments were her older sister was really just some high school jock deep down in her core.

"hi." y/n stood straight from leaning against the outside of the car, approaching danielle on the sidewalk. 

the girl smiled, just the sound of her voice could make anyone feel warm inside. "hi! let's get going? your sister and your friends look freezing."

y/n chuckled and guided her date around the car, not forgetting to open the passenger's door for her. "don't worry about them, they'll be fine."

the ’05 liner playfully rolled her eyes as y/n shut the door (gently) and walked over to the other side to start up the car. as she was the last stop, danielle’s house wasn't too far from the fair, so after a few minutes of small talk and a lot of luck with parking, the five waited by the ticketing gate of the fair.

“where are your friends, hyeni?”

"they said they'd just pick me up here with the spare ticket."

"okay... i can wait for them to come before i go in.”

“what? no! you have your date, unnie. plus, i think i can see minji-unnie from the inside…” and fair enough, standing on her tiptoes, y/n could take a glimpse of minji, wonyoung, and everyone else. “wait… is that wonyoung-unnie?! are they hol-“

“okay that’s enough! text me when you wanna go home, okay?”

with jiwoo and kyujin in front of them, y/n pushed the group forward to avoid spilling minji’s business to hyein, danielle walking beside her. y/n stuffed her hands in her jacket pockets, allowing danielle to link her left arm with the older's right as they made their way to the fountain in the middle of the fair.

"you're a good sister, you know."

"i'd hope so."

"i know so."

y/n smiled at the girl beside her, then walking up to a circle of familiar figures. “and there they are."

from the circle, hanni and her cousin, sunoo, were facing the direction y/n and dani came from. as always, the two's eyes met, even if they didn't want to, blank expressions across each of their faces.

following hanni's line of sight, minji turned around and smiled at the sight of the rest of the group walking towards them. the kim ran over to y/n, arm over her shoulders before ruffling her hair aggressively.

“oh thank god hyein told me to not wear the school’s jacket.” y/n rolled her eyes and shoved her best friend away, everyone else around the two laughing at their antics. “god forbid people think we’re dating.”

“in your dreams, lee!” 

"you two would’ve looked like the doosan bears mascots!" jiwoo pointed out as a flash came from her phone's camera. “y/n-unnie's cap doesn't help at all."

once everyone calmed down from laughing at the photo jiwoo took, a much larger circle was formed to discuss their plans for the fair.

"who's the new guy?" y/n asked, referring to sunoo who stood beside hanni, both previously discussing funnel cakes they saw on the way to the meet point.

"oh right! sunoo this is y/n." minji motioned her hand to the respective friend as she said their names. 

"hi! nice to meet you, congrats by the way!" sunoo smiled as he shook y/n's hand. "i'm a freshman at sejong."

"oh! thank you so much, means a lot." y/n's eyes widened in surprise as it was her first time hearing someone she didn't know recognize her from her recent achievement. she's going to have to get used to it.

"this one's danielle, class sweetheart, she's y/n's date today. i think you two will get along, actually." the two exchanged their greetings, minji and y/n not forgetting to privately note how they were both so... sunshine-like.

"this is jiwoo, our youngest. and her date kyujin, who's even younger, i was told."

"god i feel old..."

"sunoo we're the same age..."

"sorry..."

"that's okay, should we get a table and some food?" kazuha suggested, clapping her hands together to end the whole 'nice-to-meet-you' session.

after a full 10 minutes of rock paper scissors, the “food hunting” group and the “table saving” group were decided. danielle, y/n, sunoo, hanni, minji, and wonyoung were tasked to buy enough food that everyone would enjoy, while kyujin, jiwoo, yunjin, and kazuha were to warm the seats.

with two of the usually closest friends insistent on keeping their distance from each other, it was only natural for the group to divide (mostly y/n and danielle walking a few steps ahead). 

the two walked closely side by side, the younger girl’s fingers tugging on y/n’s jacket sleeve to keep them from walking apart. their eyes would light up, fingers pointed, and heads turned whenever they’d walk past a stall with a noticeably fragrant scent or with a well-lit signage.

in the process of looking for what they could possibly buy to feed the group, sunoo tapped hanni’s shoulder. the girl looked at him with furrowed brows as he continued to ask, “are they dating for real?”

once the full question was processed in hanni’s brain, her face, with what was once a “resting happy face”, fell into something more expressionless. like her face when she saw y/n walk in the fair with danielle. the girl gave her older cousin a shrug as a final answer, refusing to spend more energy over what she’s recently lost sleep over.

“even they don’t know. so, don’t bother.” minji leaned over to whisper, filling in what should’ve been hanni responding. "you won't really be getting an answer soon."

“oh.”

masterlist. next.

taglist: @yyeonmis @lostamoeba @jisooftme @yoontoonwhs @awkwardtoafault @lcv3lies @limbforalimb @kaypanaq @manooffline @kimsgayness @justme-idle @mightymyo @sewiouslyz @txtbrainrot @li0ilthecxnt @captivq @paranoxic @sofakingwoso @pandafuriosa60 @haerinkisser @lesleepyyy @haechansbbg @rosiehrs @jiwoneiric @blue4hour @bzeus28

#newjeans x reader #newjeans imagines #newjeans smau #newjeans fanfic #hanni x reader #hanni imagines #hanni pham x reader #hanni smau #kim minji #danielle marsh #mo jihye #kang haerin #lee hyein

[smileydk]

The Perfect Husband

Pairing: Husband!Dokyeom x OC

Summary: Lee Dokyeom was the kind of husband girls dreamt of when they were young. A Prince Charming who is perfect in every aspect. And he did everything in his power to live up to this.

cw/tw: fluff, kissing, swearing, cheesy nicknames, suggestive, teeth rotting fluff

Note: Just Husband!Dokyeom on the brain :), and since Dokyeom has said he prefers being called Dokyeom, I refuse to use Seokmin.

The clock was almost 12 at noon, but Jiwoo was still fast asleep. She had been up until like 4 in the morning, studying for her upcoming mid-term.

College was tough, but she was working hard for it.

Dokyeom was out running some erands. Both getting some groceries, since their fridge was pretty much empty, and some flowers, since it was Sunday.

That was one of the things Dokyeom had been doing for Jiwoo, ever since they started dating. Every Sunday, without miss, he would buy Jiwoo a fresh bouquet of roses.

He found a bouquet of red roses, which he deemed were perfect enough for his perfect wife.

He quickly paid for the roses and headed home.

On his way home, he couldn't help but smile. He knew Jiwoo would enjoy the roses, she always did, and he always loved the way her face lit up when she smiled.

His friend often teased him for his acts. They couldn't understand how Dokyeom could still be this love-smitten after a whole decade of marriage.

He didn't care. He loved Jiwoo. And he would never stop with his "stupid little acts".

He pulled up to the house and parked. He got the stuff from the trunk, the flowers from the passanger seat, and headed inside.

Judging by the silence Jiwoo was still fast alseep. He chuckled. He was so proud of her. She had been working so hard to get her bachelor's degree in music.

She'd spent so many nights, staying up to study for exams and tests. Dokyeom had done his best to help her study, but he soon found out he was absolutely useless at studying. And he usually just ended up distracting Jiwoo from studying, one way or another.

Dokyeom entered living room. He spotted the, very sad and withered, roses from last week's shopping trip. He picked up the vase and brought them into the kitchen.

He quickly threw the old roses aways and replaced them with the new, fresh ones he just bought.

''Where is my note-paper?'' Dokyeom asked no one in particular. He walked around the whole entré floor, looking for his damn note-paper.

Yes, he had special paper for writing notes for Jiwoo.

He walked into his home-office and dug out a new pack of small squared, pink paper, with a tiny heart in the bottom right corner. ''Ha! Fresh paper''

He jutted down a cheesy note; Wake up my love. Flowers, smiles and laughter are waiting for you, and walked upstairs to place it on the nightstand on Jiwoo's side.

Yes, the note was cheesy as hell, but he had been doing this since they started dating and he wasn't stopping now. And he knew Jiwoo liked them, which was the only thing that really mattered to him.

He went back downstairs to start making lunch, and to wait for Jiwoo to wake up.

As the smell of kimchi reached the bedroom, Jiwoo stirred. She opened one eye, wondering why the house smelled like kimchi.

Then she realized, Dokyeom must be home.

As she sat up she spotted the small note on the nightstand. She smiled at the note, and chuckled slightly at the cheesiness of it.

''Such a chees-head'' She mumbled, but she had a dorky smile on her lips. She took the note and reached into her nightstand. She dug out her binder and placed the note inside.

She had saved every single note Dokyeom had ever written her.

Jiwoo stood from the bed and took a deep breath, through her nose. A small frown grew on her face.

The hoodie she wore was Dokyeom's old favorite hoodie. And also her favorite hoodie. And it no longer smelled like him. Might have been because Jiwoo'd been wearing it for weeks.

But she didn't like that it didn't smell like him anymore.

She dove into Dokyeom's closet and dug out another hoodie, one that smelled like him. She changed hoodies and took a deep breath. Dokyeom's smell filled her nostrils.

Much better.

As she headed downstairs she brought the other hoodie with her. She entered the kitchen and spotted her husband by the stove. A small giggle left her lips as he wore the apron she'd bought him.

It was pink with cupcakes, and she'd made it personal. On the right side it said "Princess Dokyeom". She'd bought it as a joke. But he wore it proudly.

''Hello, love. Looking good in my hoodie'' Dokyeom turned around with a smile and spotted his wife, still groggy from her sleep. ''Sleep well?''

Jiwoo smiled and nodded. ''Yeah, thank you for letting me sleep in''

''Of course I let you sleep in. A, you're a grown woman who can make her own decisions, B, you were up until like 4 studying. I would never wake you up at an ungodly hour after such a study session''

Dokyeom wrapped his arms around her body and held her tightly. Jiwoo wrapped her arms around his waist and enjoyed just standing in his embrace.

''Can you put this on?'' Jiwoo pulled away from the hug and held up their shared favorite hoodie.

''Sure, but why?'' Dokyeom took the hoodie and put it on.

Jiwoo blushed slightly. ''It didn't smell like you anymore, so... you need to Dokyeom it up''

''Of course I'll Dokyeom it up for you, love. Now, I'm making some kimchi jjigae, want some?'' Jiwoo peeked into the pot and saw the boiling stew. She knew Dokyeom cooked like a God.

''Always''

As her husband put the pot on the table, she just had to ask about his little flower traiditon. ''You got new flowers. Again. Why do you do this every week?'' Jiwoo smelled them and smiled at the smell.

''Old habits die hard. At first I did it to impress you, now it's just grown on me. And I like the way you smile every time you see them''

A blush crept up on Jiwoo's cheeks as she felt herself smiling like an absolute idiot. ''I do not!'' Dokyeom raised an eyebrow and motioned to her face. ''Okay... maybe''

''Same for the notes, the asking before kisses and date night, all habits that make you smile like an idiot''

''You're so sweet'' Jiwoo felt like she'd slept with a hanger in her mouth. She couldn't stop smiling. ''Oh right, I know you have some important snob party this evening, so we can move date night-''

''Nope, we're going to the boring party and then we're going wherever you wish, my love'' Dokyeom interrupted.

''Are you sure?'' Jiwoo didn't mind if he needed to skip one night. His job was important, especially since he needed to support her while he studied.

Dokyeom nodded. ''I wouldn't skip date night for anything''

''Cute''

Dokyeom was at his snob party, Jiwoo sat by her desk, books and notes everywhere. She had just showered and now she was back to studying like a mad-man.

Jiwoo's phone dinged once. Twice. Thrice.

Dokyeom:

Love~

Dokyeom:

Baby~

Dokyeom:

Answer me~

Jiwoo chuckled as she read the texts.

Jiwoo:

Yes, Dokyeom? Aren't you in a meeting right now?

Dokyeom:

Well yeah, but it's boring- I think I'm gonna leave this meeting early

Dokyeom:

Be home in 10

Jiwoo raised an eyebrow at her screen. Sure, Dokyeom was the CEO and he could usually do as he pleased, but as far as Jiwoo's knowledge went this meeting was very important.

''He's such an idiot'' She mumbled to herself, but the smile on her lips said otherwise.

Like he texted, 10 minutes later the front door swung open and Dokyeom appeared. ''I'm home~''

''Upstairs! I'm studying''

Dokyeom walked upstairs and found Jiwoo by her desk, clad in his hoodie, pajama-pants, hair in a wet braid and her cute glasses. She hated wearing her glasses, since she thought she looked like a nerd, but Dokyeom found them adorable.

''Wasn't that meeting important?'' Jiwoo asked as Dokyeom spun her chair around.

''Yeah... but I said you were sick... and they accepted it. How long have you been studying?'' Dokyeom asked and peeked at the clock.

Jiwoo followed his gaze. ''Uhm... since you left like 4 hours ago''

''Break time!'' Dokyeom leaned down. ''Can I kiss you?'' He smiled sweetly and waited for an answer..

''You don't have to ask every time'' Jiwoo smiled. ''But yes, you can''

Dokyeom smiled and pressed his lips to Jiwoo's in a sweet manner. ''Well, it's about making sure you're comfortable. Doesn't matter if we've been married for a decade or 7''

Jiwoo smiled. ''Cute''

''Sorry we missed out on date night'' Dokyeom picked Jiwoo up from her chair and laid her in their shared bed. He laid down next to her. ''We've never missed one and-''

''You don't have to panic, we can have two next week''

''Sounds like a plan, now, can I have more kisses?'' Dokyeom pulled Jiwoo on top of him and smiled sweetly.

''Always''

#fluff #kpop oneshots #kpop fluff #one shot #seventeen #lee seokmin #seokmin #seokmin fluff #seokmin x reader #dk #dokyeom #dokyeom fluff #carat #seventeen fluff #seventeen oneshot #dokyeom oneshot #fluff oneshot #husband material

[ningningsdream]

the villain in your story | part thirty three

work count: 2.2k

TUESDAY NIGHT

you lied on the living room's couch after having dinner with everyone. some went to their rooms to get some rest and others went to take their showers. you decided to stay on the couch because it was comfy, scrolling through your phone.

the first thing you did when you entered the kitchen area and spotted donghyuck was laugh. he was wearing an apron with fuchsia rubber gloves and it was just too funny for you to not laugh.

"you done?", donghyuck asked.

you looked back at him and laughed even more, holding your stomach. he had his fist on his hips, tongue poking his cheek and standing like that one jennie meme.

your laughing was so contagious that donghyuck ended up laughing with you.

"okay. okay. i'm good.", you said, trying to calm yourself down. you exhaled for five seconds managing to stop laughing but your face still adorned a big smile.

"come on, tell me what that jiwoo girl did to deserve your undeniable loyalty.", donghyuck said, starting to wash the mountain of dishes he had.

"well first, i believe a friend should be loyal? second, i've known her since freshman year, we go way back."

"so what? doesn't really explain why you're so defensive of her.", he retorted with a frown on his face from either your statement or the really persistent stain on the plate he was cleaning.

"she's a pretty sensitive kid.", you said, as if it was a line you've learned by heart throughout the years.

"she's a grown ass woman.", donghyuck deadpanned, making you let out a chuckle as it reminded you of something you could say.

"i'm just used to trying my best to make her life better, i guess."

"you know how that sounds, right?"

"pretty bad, now that i hear myself saying it out loud not gonna lie.", you said, earning a chuckle from him which transitioned into a laughter, "yah! stop laughing!", you exclaimed, hitting his arm.

both your attention then suddenly turned towards the kitchen entrance where jaemin just made his entry, "oh, you were here?", jaemin said, looking at you.

"yeah, i'm keeping him company.", you said, pointing to donghyuck.

jaemin looked at donghyuck then back at you and then back to donghyuck again before walking towards the fridge and taking a water bottle from it. he then exited the kitchen, leaving the two of you alone once again.

"is it me or was that weird?", you asked, pointing in the direction jaemin was.

"it was not you and i'm gonna get my ass beaten.", donghyuck said, jokingly, but fear was clear in his eyes as he got lost in his thoughts on how jaemin could be really scary when he wanted to.

"why?"

"why do you think?"

the look in his eyes gave you all the answers you needed, "we're just friends.", you repeated for what felt like the hundredth time while rolling your eyes, even though the little kick in your heart disagreed with you.

"it is so clear that there's tension between the two of you that even a blind person would regain their sight to tell you that you look good together."

"i-", you hated to admit that he rendered you speechless.

"seriously, do you have feelings for him? romantic feelings."

once again you were speechless.

"i take that as a yes. then-"

"no!", you quickly interrupted him.

"no, you don't have feelings for him?"

"i...i don't know..."

in the most dramatic way, he stopped in his movements and turned towards you, an eyebrow raised, looking like he caught you stealing from his cookie jar, "so you do like him."

"woh, don't get ahead of yourself. i'm just saying i don't know how i feel towards him."

"which is basically saying that you do feel something for him."

"is it?"

"you won't know if you don't do anything. just go to your shared bedroom and kiss him. then you'll see if you feel something."

"i can't."

"what do you mean you can't? just move your short legs over to him.", the free slander made you gasped so hard it knocked all the air out of your lungs.

"yah! my legs are average, and really, i can't."

"why? you gay? sorry to break it to you but if-"

"nah it's not that. even though i do like my fair share of women."

"then what is it?", donghyuck asked as he rinsed the plates but seeing your hesitation he decided to push a little, "come oooonnn. spill the tea."

"mmmmhh... i don't know if i can trust you.", you said, squinting your eyes at him.

donghyuck let out the biggest gasp, dropping his rinsing and stopping the running water, "i am deeply offended."

"dude, i don't know you well and even jimin and minjeong don't know the full truth."

"oh my god, the tea must be really hot then.", he said, already excited about it.

you pushed him slightly, making him lose his balance and almost falling. you put your hand in front of your mouth to stop yourself from laughing.

"come on, tell meeee. if you don't trust me we can make a blood oath right there and now.", he said, holding a knife up, still covered in dish soap foam.

you chuckled at the image of donghyuck in a hello kitty apron with hot pink gloves, holding a knife covered in foam and usually used for cutting steak, "just your words are enough but know that i'm big on loyalty. betray me and you'll deal with the consequences.", you said, pointing your finger almost in a threatening way.

"i swear.", he said, raising his right hand up.

"mmh...alright...", you started, still unsure, "i can't because my friend likes him.", you tried to stay vague to see if he'd get it.

he looked you in the eyes, trying to decipher your gaze, "jimin?", your deadpanned expression indicated to him that it wasn't the right answer. his brain worked faster to connect the dots. it couldn't be minjeong because she barely knew jaemin so the only person left was, "jiwoo?", you nodded, confirming his train of thoughts, "renjun did told me his suspicion but i just thought he was just kidding."

"yeah... she liked him since high school."

"high school??!", donghyuck almost shouted, which made you put your index on your lips to signal to him to keep it quiet, "high school??!", he repeated in a whisper, "wait- if you knew her since freshman year, and she had a crush on jaemin since her high school days, that means you were all in the same high school, which means we were in the same high school!"

"you knew jaemin back then too?"

"yeah."

you tried to remember with who jaemin used to hang out with but blank, your brain just remembered that he had his little group, "to be honest, i didn't know his entourage that much."

"i went by a nickname back then. haechan."

at the sound of his nickname, something clicked in your head. you remembered vague stories you would hear about that famous 'haechan' kid and some things you've seen with your own eyes, "no way! you were the kid that came to school with a bright red bowl cut wig!"

"yeah that was me!", he said, as excited as you.

"oh my god! it was hilarious. i probably have a picture of you i took of you back then somewhere."

"i can't believe we went to the same high school."

"i wasn't popular back then so no one really knew me except my friends and my back-then-boyfriend."

"the world is really small."

"indeed."

"so jiwoo likes him since high school and haven't even made a move on him yet? i mean, if she did, jaemin would have probably told us about it at some point."

"she didn't, well, she did try once but it didn't really end well. she didn't even show up."

"oh my god! are you talking about when he got stood up a few months ago?", donghyuck started putting the pieces of the puzzle together faster than you expected him to.

your face contorted in a painful expression at the memory as you nodded, "yeah. unfortunately, she was the culprit."

"did she even have an excuse?", you could hear the irritation in his voice. if he didn't like jiwoo before, now he hated her guts.

"she just said she couldn't do it. stress, anxiety or something else, i don't know. i didn't even have the time to talk to her about it that i was attacked for going on a 'date' with jaemin in her place."

"the audacity?? she had no rights??"

"that's what i said but as always she had lia, my other friend, backing her up and once again i'm the bad guy.", you sighed, feeling a heavy weight again on your shoulders.

donghyuck sent you a sympathetic look before asking, "why would she back her up when she was obviously in the wrong?"

"i guess it's because they know each other since kindergarten. like i said, jiwoo is a pretty sensitive person so lia is used to sticking up for her. it has always been like that.", you shrugged.

"i mean, jaemin and jeno knew each other way before we all met them and jeno will gladly call jaemin out on his bullshit, if renjun haven't done it first of course, and vice versa. this just screams lia and jiwoo against the world while you're supposed to be apart of the friendship too, you know?"

you nodded, agreeing with his words, "i'm realizing that as i'm getting to know other people outside my usual circle, but it also kind of hurts you know? like... realizing that i shouldn't have felt like that, that it wasn't normal to put up with what i did... but still not being able to walk away...", you started, tearing up as you talked, "i've known them for more than five years now, even if there were downs, there were also many ups and we went through a lot of things together as well. i don't want to throw that out the window."

"come here." donghyuck said, discarding his fuchsia gloves aside, long done with the dishes, and opening his arms. you accepted the gesture of comfort, wrapping your arms around his torso as he wrapped his around yours.

"my head is a mess, right now. if i end the friendship, i'll feel like the bad guy, if i keep the friendship, i'm still going to feel like the bad guy. if i try something with jaemin, i feel like the bad guy and if i don't i'm still going to end up feeling like the bad guy. there's just no escape."

"you know, you can't always be the good guy in everyone's life. you're bound to be the villain in someone's story. it doesn't make you someone bad though, it's just impossible to please everyone at the same time, yourself included."

you sniffed, bringing your hands to yourself to quickly wipe the two tears that were threatening to fall down and said, "thanks, hyuck."

"anytime.", he replied, patting your head.

"we should probably go to bed if we want to wake up on time tomorrow.", you said, pulling away from him and running a hand through your hair in attempt to recompose yourself.

donghyuck nodded in agreement and you two went your separate ways, wishing each other a goodnight.

you went to the bathroom for your night routine before going to bed. you checked your reflection and thankfully you didn't cry enough for your eyes to get really red and puffy. after your talk with donghyuck, your shoulders did feel lighter as you could finally fully talk about this with someone without tip toeing and being careful about not giving out too much information, but your head felt kind of dizzy due to all the thoughts running through your mind.

when you went back into your room, you expected jaemin to be sleeping but he wasn't. he was just lying on his side of the bed, scrolling through his phone, "oh hey, you aren't sleeping yet?"

"i wasn't that tired yet.", jaemin replied, that little bounce of happiness missing from his voice, which you assumed was from the fatigue kicking in.

you nodded, making your way to your side of the bed and laid down.

"you alright?", he suddenly asked. your heart almost stopped beating as you wondered if he heard the conversation you had with donghyuck, "you look kind of down."

he didn't hear anything. he was just that perceptive of a person. especially when it came to you.

"i'm just tired, i ran around a lot today.", you lied with a smile, "goodnight, jaemin."

"goodnight.", he replied, watching you close your eyes.

he knew you were lying, and even though he didn't know why, he concluded that it had to do with your conversation with donghyuck. he couldn't help himself but feel a little jealous when he saw the two of you laughing together in the kitchen. he too wanted to spend some time alone, one-on-one with you and get to know you better.

main masterlist | tviys masterlist

pairing: fem!oc x barista!jaemin, fembarista!reader x barista!jaemin

genre: fluff, angst, suggestive, barista!au, sns au

summary: girls' code prevents you from liking the guy your friend likes right?

a/n: not me waking up to dreamies having liike a whole event in santa monica where they interacted with fans for free, from up close??? am i jealous? yes, but im also happy for the ones that got to see them, especially if they couldn't go to the concert!

taglist: [@glamourizz @rinrinslovebot @beomibeom @moonjobf @hiqhkey @calssunflower @donghyuckster @vianna99 @kookiedesi @baehaechannie @nshimura @thiccfullsun @dear-dreamie @neobowlingshoez @jjaehmins @liliansun @bythe8 @hyuckrec @dearlyminhyung @ohmygs-blog @hoeshi17 @wonupuppy @shan-oldham @jeongintwt @renjunoya @najm00]

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#nct dream #nct #nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #nct dream sns au #nct dream sm au #nct sns au #nct sm au #na jaemin #jaemin #na jaemin scenarios #na jaemin imagines #na jaemin fluff #jaemin scenarios #jaemin imagines #jaemin fluff #jaemin angst #na jaemin angst #tviys

[littlekohai77]

Hello 👋 can I pls request dating headcanons for Julian, Schnauder and Duke Grane? Thank you ❤️

𝚂𝙾 𝚞𝚖 𝚑𝚒, 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝙸'𝚖 𝚊 𝚕𝚊𝚣𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚕 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝.

🅆🄰🅁🄽🄸🄽🄶🅂: uhm bad writing, not proofread, a bit toxic, lots of baby fever, ooc kinda

*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*

🚩🅳🆄🅺🅴 🅶🆁🅰🆈🅽🅴:

✾I've done this mf before but ya know what, maybe I can bust out some more.

✾So let's start with before Jiwoo.

✾before he got defeated by Jiwoo and his ego took the most massive hit ever, he honestly wasn't half bad.

✾made time in his tight schedule to spend time with you.

✾not just training but also just for hanging out with you.

✾you guys binge watch horror movies because he thinks romcom is dumb (it's actually because he starts giggling like a fucking high school girl whenever something cheesy happens)

✾he tries to act all macho and shit during horror movie nights but he isn't as slick as he might like to think. Yeah, you very obviously notice the way he jumps slightly whenever the ghost pops on the screen out of nowhere.

✾I mean how could you not, you're basically using him like a chair. And he isn't bothered by that.

✾cause after a long day of training, he's sore as hell and your body on him feels like a weighed blanket that makes him forget the pain and numbs the soreness.

✾kind of reserved and not into PDA. Like the most you'll get out of his is probably hand holding and he barely tolerates that.

✾but when he's jealous or feels like he needs to show people (and you) who you belong to, he gets 𝐁𝐨𝐥𝐝.

✾straight up spanks your ass whenever he's passing by.

✾drags you into the bathroom and latches onto you like a leech.

✾leaves hickies in the most conspicuous places known to man.

✾literally everyone is staring at you and he's acting so fucking smug when he sees the guy that has been getting too close to you burn with anger.

✾literally a petty baby.

✾will get so mad if you don't let him do your eyeliner.

✾and if you watch a show alone that you two were supposed to watch together but he was absent because he was going around the world whopping ass.

✾will not look at you. Act like you betrayed him and will be glued to the opposite side of the couch muttering about how evil you are.

✾might flirt with others to make you jealous.

✾will not tolerate the same treatment.

✾very whiny and bitchy.

✾will say some really harsh things when he's mad.

✾it's likely that you guys are already betrothed or about to be.

✾will train you if you're weak.

✾if he loves you enough, he might, rare chance, might share a teensy tiny bit of force control. Especially if you're weak as hell.

💍🅹🆄🅻🅸🅰🅽 🅿🅰🆃🆁🅸🅲🅺:

✾have done him before too but eh.

✾let's talk about before Jiyoung because honestly... He changes so much and it gets so depressing for you.. .

✾anyway ahem.

✾at some point in his life. When he was probably quite young, he probably hated you cause he had to marry you when he got older. But obviously he later found out how awesome you were and fell for you.

✾literally the best boyfriend ever.

✾learns how to braid if you have long hair because he adores it and wants to play with it.

✾will also learn how to do makeup. Because he wants to spend even more time engaged with you and he gets a bubbly feeling in his chest when you smile at him and tell him he did a good job (bro got a praise kink).

✾him doing good and making you pretty makes you happy and you being happy makes him HAPPY HAPPY.

✾will let you paint his nails. Will get upset if you don't use gray, black or some dark color because that's his aesthetic. But don't worry, he won't whine even if you use that puke green shade, but there will be a depression cloud around him.

✾will not mind if you try to put makeup on him but will try to make sure that he ends up looking presentable and somewhat professional.

✾you forgot your coat? Oh don't worry suddenly it's too hot in here and he doesn't need his coat anymore.

✾he might get a bit peeved if you puke on his favorite suit, but he won't stay mad for long because those obviously don't matter when he has you and also because he's holding your hair back as you throw out dinner into the toilet pan.

✾dates with him are mostly domestic because he likes the comfort of his home and just being with you without those nosy officials breathing down your necks.

✾cooks for you on every occasion. He doesn't care about gender norms, he loves you and he likes keeping his darling healthy and happy with good food. Also because he's a bit paranoid about your safety and is scared that you might get poisoned.

✾will let you put silly clips in his hair and make him look ridiculous but only in the privacy of his or your rooms. He does not want his brother to have blackmail material.

✾if he somehow ends up looking professional, fashionable and good though, he might wear it to work.

✾is literally so jealous whenever you baby his brother.

✾literally glaring holes into the poor guy's back as you talk with him, bring him sweets and just treat him oh so well.

✾gets seriously upset when you come to visit them and hug Ian first.

✾will give you silent treatment for 2 hours before caving.

💪🆂🅲🅷🅽🅰🆄🅳🅴🆁:

✾he's kinda hard to do cause we don't really know much about him but I'll try.

✾I'm kinda stuck on one thing though. Which is, I feel like he doesn't have the patience or time to le le lay lay and play around with you and if you guys met a long time ago, like 3-5 years, he'd be married to you by now but he also might play around.... But if he did, he would break up in like 1-7 months. So if he's been with you longer, you can probably assume that he plans on wife-ing you up.

✾very reluctant to get into a relationship with you if you're weak.

✾because 1. He has a reputation.

✾2. He doesn't want his enemies to target you.

✾if you're strong than he's less reluctant but still a bit paranoid of you getting targeted.

✾makes a brutal example out of anyone who tries to touch a single hair on your head.

✾will slap your ass in public, if his underlings are around? Even better.

✾instructs Roist to take care of you and protect you even if you're wayy stronger than the boy.

✾he says it's free training opportunity for him.

✾this man doesn't quite care about his apprentices. But when he sees you treating Roist like he's your son, treating his injuries, helping him train, interacting with him casually, it makes something warm in him bloom and spread throughout him.

✾literally starts imagining how you would look like with you belly full of kids, all round and cute, waddling around and whining, so fucking cute. (Tits filled with milk 👀)

✾but it wears off easily too when he remembers how troublesome children are. And how low his patience is when dealing with them.

✾he thinks that maybe he doesn't actually want babies, maybe he just like the image of you knocked up and full because that makes you just so 𝙃𝙞𝙨.

✾but he also feels a sort of longing in him whenever he watches you interact with teens or toddlers. Maybe with you, he doesn't mind having mini demons running around.

✾will train you if you're weak and help you grow strong and then date you.

✾he's self aware of his physic and in turn, treats you like a porcelain doll.

✾likes to take you shopping. Loved to see you all dolled up just for him. Just loves to spoil you in general.

✾it comes off as a huge surprise but he's great at cooking.

✾but he mostly chooses to lay back and let you do the cooking because he loves the sight of you wearing aprons.

✾if you're a healer, he sometimes intentionally get flesh wounds. They're pretty harmless as they don't have that much harmful residual powers. Because he loves being fretted over by you, his lil baby as you nag him to be more careful.

✾no matter how pissed he is, he will never harm you. He loves you too much for that.

✾if you're a fan of muscles, he'll have a huge blush on his face as he laughs and boosts about himself. In the privacy of his room of course.

✾likes to carry your stuff for you. No matter how light it is.

✾lives for seeing you in his clothes.

✾intentionally puts things out of your reach so that you would have to call him over to get it down.

✾will get moody if you call for Royst or use a ladder to get it your.

✾magically all ladders have vanished over night after you did that.

✾and suddenly Royst has become deaf because he acts like he doesn't hear you and runs off.

✾if Royst makes a silly mistake, he's looking your way for help and Schnauder immediately gives up trying to punish him because you'll be sad and pouty and huffy, he doesn't want that.

✾regrets introducing you to Royst.

✾will be on his ass the moment you look away.

✾please never leave him for Royst's safety. (Dw he won't die)

✾loves cuddling you, especially with you laying on top of him with all your weight on him.

✾insecure about your weight? Girly, he can carry you in one hand alone. Don't you worry about being too heavy.

#eleceed #eleceed x reader #world academy #frame #duke grayne #duke #julian patrick #julian x reader #eleceed julian #eleceed julian patrick #julian #schnauder #duke x reader #schnauder x reader #schnauzer

[zzoguri]

[part one] of boundaries and secret glances (i'm lucky to be loved by you) ➵ kim sunwoo

idol!kim sunwoo x ex-idol!reader

as a well-respected independent producer in the industry, you get requests from different companies for collaborations. when you accept to work on chanhee and sunwoo's unit track for their upcoming album, you are left to your own devices as you work closely with sunwoo. who is to say what can happen over the days?

genre/warnings ➵ strangers to friends to lovers (though sunwoo has always had a crush on you since your debut), music and lyrics au, fluff, angst with happy ending, afab reader (they/them pronouns), drinking, kpop mistreatment, mental and physical abuse done by companies, close proximity, sunwoo is a FLIRT!!! and also obsessed with you, LOONA IS FREE HERE!!!, iz*one sadly does not exist </3, boundaries are definitely crossed in the sense that you should not be flirting this much with a co-worker turned friend...

word count ➵ 15.7k words (30.3k words in total)

parts ➵ [1] [2]

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet

a/n ➵ this work has been in the making for a year or two. oftentimes, i find it hard to finish works or put them out since i find myself getting scared of how my works will be received. after reading this for how many times and adding final revisions, i am happy that i get to share this baby to the world! this fic is because of how much i love the movie "music and lyrics" and how i kind of fantasized myself and sunwoo in a similar context. thank you again for taking the time to read this. please note that idols shown or talked about in this fic are not meant to reflect my real thoughts on them. i love all the idols here in this fic (especially jiyoon) i would really appreciate it if you could take the time to like and reblog this.

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlist

1CON: Where Are They Now? By Lee Hyejin of Soompi 

It has been two years since South Korea's beloved group disbanded. Formed back in 2017 through Produce 101, 1CON has swept the hearts of many from pre-debut until disbandment. Yesterday, the members posted pictures on their SNS accounts that show their little reunion. This then sparked “1CON REUNION” to trend on Twitter.

To this day, many fans hope to see a reunion concert take place to see the members come together once again. As the public waits, we wonder where the members have gone off to.

The beloved center Shin Ryujin (Rank 1) and well-known dancer Lee Chaeryeong (Rank 9) of JYP Entertainment are part of the newest girl group ITZY whose unique sound has found its way to capture the hearts of many. As the group continues to conquer the K-Pop scene with their talents, they have become the pride and joy of JYP Entertainment.

Power vocalist Jo Yuri (Rank 2) parted ways with Off The Record Entertainment and worked on her solo debut under WAKEONE with the track “GLASSY.” With the number of music show wins gained, Jo will be one of the 4th Gen's well-known vocalists.

Captivating dancer Jeon Heejin (Rank 3) and charismatic vocalist Kim “Chuu” Jiwoo (Rank 5) made their debut back in 2020 with LOONA under Blockberry Creative. However, the members of the group have ended their contracts with the company because of the mistreatment they received.

Now, Jeon is a member of ARTMS with some of the former members of LOONA—Kim “Kim Lip” Jungeun, Jeong “Jinsoul” Jinsol, and Choi “Choerry” Yerim—under Modhaus. Chuu chose to pursue her solo endeavors under ATRP.

One of K-Pop's best 4th Gen vocalists, Kim Minjeong (Rank 4) of SM Entertainment, is rumored to make her debut in a girl group later in the year. While we can say not much at the moment, SM Entertainment has got everyone excited for their upcoming debut.

Jack of all trades, Shin Jiyoon (Rank 6) of Play M Entertainment, debuted back in 2020 with the group Weeekly. The group's upbeat and catchy music is produced by Shin herself. As Weeekly brings back cute concepts to the K-Pop scene, many people expect that “girl crush” will not be the norm.

Formerly under JYP Entertainment, well-known producer Y/N (Rank 7) is not signed with any company. As they work on their own terms and team, they have been releasing music on different platforms with full artistic freedom. Despite having no company, countless entertainment companies continuously contact them. They have worked with IU, Red Velvet, BIBI, Jamie Park, Pentagon, and more.

Lovable and powerful rapper Choi Yena (Rank 8) of Yuehua Entertainment recently made her debut with “SMILEY (Feat. BIBI)” whose catchy tune has trended all over Twitter. Many fans have commented that the concept is fitting for her debut. As she continues with her promotions, many fans wait to see her thrive in her solo career.

Along with that, opera-trained singer Huh Yunjin (Rank 10) of HYBE Entertainment is rumored to debut in the upcoming girl group with Produce 101 participants Kim Chaewon and Miyawaki Sakura. However, Huh has been actively posting original music and covers on different streaming platforms. As she continues to keep fans impressed with her talents, many people anticipate the debut of HYBE’s newest girl group.

Memorable vocalist Song Yuqi (Rank 11) of Cube Entertainment is part of (G)I-DLE who continues to release comebacks that showcase the uniqueness of the members. With tracks that will have you dancing and singing along, (G)I-DLE continues to showcase a different side to 4th Gen girl groups.

There have only been speculations and rumors surrounding a reunion concert for 1CON. All that can be said for now is that the members are in close contact with each other and working hard to continue dominating the K-Pop industry in their own ways.

“Y/N, you’ve got emails from H1ghr Music, AOMG, and THE L1VE. What would you like me to do with the other emails you’ve received from other companies?” Park Soeun, your manager, asks as she barges into your home office with her eyes trained on her iPad.

As she looks up, she takes in the sight; messy papers laid out on the table; knickknacks and souvenirs from 1CON members scattered all over the floor; you in your most devilish state whose hair is all over the place with clothes from yesterday. 

“God, Y/N. What in the world happened here?” Soeun asks as she picks up all the gifts from your ex-peers.

“It’s been so long since the girls and I got together, so we got kinda crazy last night.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t explain the mess in your office. Jesus… Y/N, I never knew your office could get even messier and more… disorganized,” She continues as she settles on placing all the gifts from 1CON on an empty shelf. “I didn’t even know you would end up going to that reunion.”

You sigh as you continue to click away on your computer, ignoring her last comment.

“Drunk me decided they wanted to work despite being intoxicated,” You mention as you continue to loop a specific segment in the instrumental you’ve been working on all night.

“You haven’t slept?!” She exclaims, attempting to gather and pile up the papers scattered all over your desk. When you let out a hum, she sighs as you continue to immerse yourself in your work.

“Y/N, I think we need to talk.”

“About?”

“This.” As you finally look away from your monitor, you see Soeun with her arms crossed as she hugs her iPad.

“Oh god, don’t tell me what I think it is.”

“I’m serious. We need to talk about what’s going to happen to us,” Soeun demands as she finally takes a seat in front of you. Before you could protest, she continued.

“Y/N, you’ve been doing this for a year, and I’ve stuck with you the whole time. From pre-debut, disbandment, and even until deciding to leave JYP, I stayed with you because I wanted to support you.”

Ultimately, you knew it was hard for Soeun to leave her job at JYP Entertainment to support you. Giving up her stable job to follow you has become one of your biggest burdens to carry to this day.

As she sees the frown on your face, she continues. “I didn’t leave because of an impulse decision. In fact, I left because I knew that working at JYP isn’t what I want at the end of everything. Y/N, I don’t know if you know this but you don’t give yourself enough credit for all the things you’ve gone through and accomplished.”

“I think that’s an overstatement. I don’t think I’ve–”

“You have accomplished a lot of things. You debuted with 1CON, made the difficult decision of leaving a well-known company to pursue your dreams with full creative freedom, and produced music for artists that continue to dominate the charts.”

Silence settles between you two as you try to take in her words. You love the compliments and praise you receive, but sometimes you feel it is never enough. This leads you to overexert yourself; the need to constantly achieve as if it is your only purpose in life.

“You need to give yourself more credit, which also means recognizing that you deserve more.” You knew where this conversation was going, and you didn’t want to hear her continue.

“Soeun, please don’t–”

“I’m sorry Y/N, but you need to at least hear me out. I really think you need to sign with a company.”

With that, you close your eyes as you take in her words. It hurts enough to see people on the Internet constantly discuss the success you could have gained if you were signed with a company, but it pains you physically to hear the same words from someone who knew you inside and out.

“I know your experiences with JYP and Stone Music Entertainment are some that you wish to forget, and I will never forget nor can I ever excuse the amount of mistreatment you faced under those two. However, I do think you can find yourself signed with another company, possibly a better one that knows how to treat you right,” Soeun says.

You finally open your eyes and nod, giving her the signal that she could continue. “It’s hard for both you and me to keep up with the demand. Although we have Taeyeon to help with styling and Sungyoon for photos and music videos, we only have such little manpower to keep up. You could be earning more, maybe relaxing more if you get signed with a company.”

With that, you let out a sigh. “Where is this coming from? Is it because of the number of emails I’ve left unanswered?”

Soeun shakes her head and says, “It’s not really that. Of course, I’ve had to deal with this when I still worked in JYP, but it isn’t the main reason I’m having this talk with you.”

“I’m going to be putting in my two-week notice.” You knew this day would come; she is resigning.

“I applied for jobs at different companies and I got an email back.”

“Congrats Soeun, you deserve it,” You say with a half-hearted smile.

You mean it, but it hurt to know that Soeun would not be with you as you continue your journey. She became a permanent presence in your life, and you could never imagine life without her in it.

Before you could allow yourself to be vulnerable, you decided to ask, “So, which company? I’m excited to hear who’s lucky to have Kim Soeun.” She lets out a laugh.

“I got signed with Cre.ker Entertainment. They had an opening for another managerial position,” She says as you nod.

“That’s the company of The Boyz, right?” She lets out an ‘mhm’ as you continue to nod once again.

“Y/N, you do have an email from that company, if you haven’t realized,” Soeun points out.

As you decide to finally open your email, several unread and unanswered emails greet you. Typing the word “Cre.ker,” you find the email Soeun mentioned. Two weeks ago, you received an email from them to which you have not gotten around to replying or reading.

— — —

FROM: Cre.ker Entertainment <[email protected]>

TO: Y/N <y/[email protected]>

SUBJECT: THE BOYZ’s SUB-UNIT “NEWSUN” TRACK

Good day, Y/N!

Cre.ker Entertainment is reaching out to you in hopes you will accept our request to produce a track for The Boyz’s upcoming album.

The sub-unit “NEWSUN” (which comprises New and Sunwoo) has requested that you produce their track on the upcoming album. If you wish to accept the offer, please let us know no later than two weeks.

We look forward to hearing from you and working with you.

— — —

“Huh, this is funny. I only have until today to reply,” You mention which Soeun chuckles at.

“I mentioned that you got an email from them about a week ago. You said you would get back to them, but clearly, you haven’t.”

“Yeah well, I shouldn’t be trusted with emails,” You reply to which she rolls her eyes. “Figures.”

“Anyway, going back to what we were discussing. You deserve more—a lot more, actually.” She grabs your hand. “I am not saying that I invalidate your experiences nor can I say that this type of mistreatment is not a general thing found with K-Pop companies, but I believe you can sign with a company that will understand what you want.” You think over what she says but never give a reply.

“I just want you to know that I appreciate working and supporting you for… god knows how long. I’ll be sending my formal resignation to your email. Please read it,” She begs which has you laughing.

“Yeah yeah, I will.” She smiles and stands up from her seat.

“Y/N, think over what I said.” She sucks in a breath. “You deserve more, and I want you to be secured in your career as you continue your journey in the industry. I’m not saying you should audition for Cre.ker Entertainment, but I’m saying to look into companies you’re interested to be under. I’ll just be in the room beside you.”

As she leaves your office, you are left with your thoughts and nothing more. In these moments, you miss being with 1CON the most.

It is 4:07 AM, and you are still seated in your home office. In fact, it’s your only office as you cannot afford to rent a separate place for work. You have finally finished the track for Jung Wheein’s album and sent it over to THE L1VE through email. 

As you think back to Soeun’s words, you decide to open up the email from Cre.ker Entertainment. Reading it once more, you decide to search for The Boyz on YouTube. You know of them and some of their tracks, but you decided that was not enough.

Searching up the words “NEW & SUNWOO” on YouTube, you find a video of theirs that covers “Nerdy Love,” a song you adore from an artist you highly respect. You decide to click the video and watch what the two boys had to offer.

Despite thinking you did not know enough, you knew who was who thanks to Jiwoo, your ex-peer. She is friends with New (or Chanhee) as they would be special MCs for music shows. After all the time they spent joking around behind the scenes, Jiwoo adores him and thinks of him as one of her closest friends now.

You remember how she described him to you two days ago. “Chanhee is the nicest guy I’ve ever met, and I trust him with almost everything. I hope you get to meet him one day! He’s a huge fan of your work,” She told you at the 1CON reunion two days ago.

However, you have no idea who Sunwoo is. All you know is that Heejin is sort of friends with him but they do not spend a lot of time with each other due to schedule conflicts. The most they ever interact with each other is whenever they play video games with other people their age. If you could recall, all Heejin had to say was that he was nice, and that is as much as you can remember.

Yet, you could not deny that you found him pleasing to look at. Maybe it is his hair, smile, or even the aura he gives off, but your eyes found themselves focusing on him. In the way he performs, you can see how much he enjoys performing.

Throughout your time in the industry, you have seen many artists work in their craft. Many idols share the unfortunate fate of working with peers they despise while others are not given the liberty to work on the tracks they put out. However, only some can say they enjoy what they do—only some can confidently say they love what they do. Sunwoo and Chanhee look like they fit in the latter.

Seeing the two boys vibe and perform one of your favorite songs was such a delight. In fact, you ended up looping the video as you continued to enjoy their cover. You also did not want to admit to having it just play in the background as you continued to finally go through your emails. Knowing Soeun, she would be happy to hear that you finally replied to the many companies reaching out to you.

Despite knowing what to say to which company, there is one company you did not know how to respond to. As you see the same email you read a while ago from Cre.ker Entertainment, you let out a sigh. The more you thought about it, the more you realized it could possibly help out Soeun get used to Cre.ker Entertainment.

As someone who does not want to let her go, you should have denied the company stealing her away from you. If anything, you felt as if you needed to resent Cre.ker Entertainment. Yet, you knew that Soeun resigning did not mean she would be gone forever. After everything, she is your best friend who stuck with you through thick and thin. You only want what is best for her—that is what makes her happy.

With that, you knew your answer.

“God if I knew Play M Entertainment and Cre.ker Entertainment were going to merge to form IST, I would have said no,” You say as you look up at the building in front of you.

“Sorry Y/N, I thought you knew! I think you should at least hear them out and if you can’t do it, you can just–”

“No, it’s fine. I can do this. I mean, it’s not like I will see her, you know?” You say as you take a deep breath.

With that, you enter the building with Soeun. As she walks to the front desk to talk to the woman about your appointment, you decide to take in your surroundings. The building is just like any other company; it reminds you of your trainee days. Despite being inside different company buildings to produce for artists, you can never stop being reminded of what happened to you then.

Before you could think about it anymore, Soeun loops her arm with yours. “C’mon, let’s go,” She says with a smile.

She always knew how to take care of you. With that, you two walk together to the elevator and try to make your way to the meeting room.

“I know you’re nervous about bumping into–”

“Please don’t say her name! What if someone catches on?” You exclaim which she nods at.

“Yeah, you’re right. Please don’t think about it too much because I don’t want you to be stressed about that and this meeting.”

“I’ll try. God, why did they have to merge?” You practically ask the universe as you and Soeun stand right in front of a door.

“No time to complain, you’ve got this. I hope you know I’m proud of you for still pushing through with this.”

“Soeun, you only told me that they merged when we were in the car. I almost grabbed that steering wheel.”

“Either way, just hear them out. I heard from my friends that Chanhee and Sunwoo are big fans of your work.”

With that, you sigh. “Fine. Just know I took this job because I wanted to see where you work.”

“I also know you did it because you wanted me to adjust already. I hope you know that I love you,” She says with a smile.

She then opens the door to see The Boyz’s manager, Sunwoo, and Chanhee seated. The three stand up from their seats to greet and bow at the two of you.

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you all! I’m Soeun, Y/N’s manager, and I’ll be here to assist,” Soeun says as you two enter, bowing at the three. Once you and Soeun take a seat, you notice that you are seated right in front of Sunwoo.

Seeing him in the video was hard but seeing him right in front of you was even harder. As soon as he flashed a smile, you immediately looked away and hoped you were not red. If Soeun found out you were reacting this way about someone, she would never let you live it down (which is why you hope she would never notice).

“Hello, I’m Jihoon. Before anything, I think I should let them introduce themselves. They’ve been waiting for this moment to finally meet you,” Their manager says, which has both Chanhee and Sunwoo flustered.

“Ah, you didn’t have to mention that! But hello, I’m Chanhee! It’s nice to finally meet you. Jiwoo mentioned that she talked to you about me,” Chanhee greets you with a bow to which you smile.

“And I’m Sunwoo. Both Chanhee and I really enjoy your work, and we look forward to working with you,” Sunwoo follows right after with a bow.

“Ah, thank you so much. I look forward to working with you as well,” You manage to say without your voice cracking. You were flustered, and you were pretty sure it was showing with how red your cheeks were. God, you knew Soeun was going to make fun of you later.

“Alright, I guess we can start.”

The meeting was a success. Soeun handled most of it but you managed to chime in every now and then and understand what they needed from you.

“What was it with you a while ago?” Soeun asked when you two finally reached your place.

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N, I know how you act when you find someone attractive. Is it Sunwoo? I won’t judge you.” You choose not to answer her as you go to the kitchen. “So it is!”

“I didn’t even answer!” You exclaim as you look through the fridge.

“I get it though, he is very attractive.”

“Soeun, you’re so annoying. Please stop,” You whine as you decide to grab some water.

“Well, good luck to you! You have to meet with them two days from now. You have only a week from your first meeting with him to submit the final track. Yes, final track, okay? Please remember that,” Soeun says as she notes it on her iPad.

“God, I don’t know why I agreed. That’s barely enough time to produce something satisfactory, let alone a good final track.” Soeun pats your shoulder as she continues to look down at her iPad.

“Don’t forget, you were the one who said yes when I tried to negotiate.” You let out a groan and take a seat.

“I mean if you said yes because you wanted to spend more time with Sunwoo–”

“Please stop. I don’t want to cross any boundaries of our strictly work relationship” You practically beg, to which she laughs.

“You’ve got this! Let me know if you need me to negotiate with Jihoon again. Just keep me updated on whatever ends up happening between you two,” She says with a smile as she walks away.

“Soeun, nothing is going to happen!” You exclaim which only makes her let out another laugh.

“You never know!”

It has been two days since that meeting, and you regret agreeing to the set deadline. It feels as if you have not gotten any wink of sleep in the last 48 hours as the stress and anxiety got to you. As you entered the building with a cup of coffee in your hand, you informed the woman at the front desk that you were expected to attend another meeting with Sunwoo and Chanhee.

“Please make yourself comfortable and wait here. I’ll just ring up their manager–”

“They’re with me!” You hear someone shout from behind you. As you turn to look, you see Sunwoo walking towards you and greeting you with a bow which you return.

“It’s nice to see you again,” He says, making you smile.

“I’ll bring them up, just inform hyung.” Sunwoo signals you to follow him as he makes his way to the elevator.

“So, how are you? I’m guessing you managed to think of something within the two days?” He asks as you two wait for the elevator to arrive.

You laugh as you shake your head. “I wish.”

“Did you get any sleep?” You shake your head in response which he laughs at.

“Well, if you pass out, I’ll be there to cover for you,” He says only for you to get shy.

“Oh god, you don’t–”

“I was just kidding Y/N, sorry if it wasn’t obvious.” The elevator doors finally open and you both get in.

“Oh, that’s my bad,” You say as you let out a nervous laugh.

“Hey, it’s no problem.”

The elevator doors finally close and you two go up. As silence engulfs you two, you somehow think it is your fault.

“I, uhm, tend to be very shy around new people. I’m not usually like this,” You say to break the silence.

He looks at you with a smile and nods. “No worries, Chanhee and Heejin said the same.”

You were surprised to find out that he’s talked about you to others. As you continued to look straightforward, you would only hope that Heejin or Jiwoo did not mention anything embarrassing to the two.

“I never got to ask, but how are you?” You decided to finally ask him.

“Oh, well it’s been alright?” He says in an unsure manner which has you raising an eyebrow at him.

“Well, the guys and I have been practicing the choreography for our comeback, and I’ve been kind of nervous about how Chanhee and I’s track is going to turn out. Not that I’m trying to say I don’t trust you, but I am nervous about how well I’m going to execute your vision,” He admits.

“If it helps, I think whatever you do will perfectly execute what I see.” You smile at him to which he smiles back.

“Oh, so you trust me that much? How much have you seen my performances to say that?” He asks as he faces you and leans against the wall, a smug look on his face. Something about how he keeps the conversation going makes you less shy than before.

“Well, I had to do my research,” You admit with a smirk.

“Oh, the famous Y/N has done their research on me? What do you know about me?” He asks to which you decide to face him as well. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

He chuckles as soon as the elevator doors open. “Well don’t think I didn’t research you,” He says and walks out with you following.

You two eventually arrive at one of the recording studios with no Chanhee to be found.

“Oh, where’s Chanhee?” You ask as you look around the recording studio.

“Oh, I forgot to mention that Chanhee wouldn’t be sitting in for a lot of the production process because he has a bunch of other schedules to attend to. I hope you don’t mind spending this time with me,” Sunwoo says with a smile as he takes a seat on the couch.

“Oh, I see,” You say as you stay rooted in place.

“If you’re uncomfor–”

“No no, it’s okay. As I said, I’m just shy,” You cut him off and muster the biggest and most awkward smile.

Before you could apologize for your behavior, Sunwoo lets out a giggle. “Y/N, I get it, but you don’t have to be awkward around me.”

His words of reassurance allow you to breathe just for a little. There is something about Sunwoo that makes you both nervous yet comfortable. You did not know how, but that only made you want to know more about him.

You decide to take a seat on the office chair in front of the mixing console and spin it to face Sunwoo. “Alright, I think we should go through what you and Chanhee want from the track. I know Jihoon discussed it in the meeting but I would like to hear it from you,” You say as you set down your cup of coffee on the coffee table.

“Well, Chanhee and I really want an R&B track for this album. Think of, I don’t know, “Nerdy Love” if you know that track,” Sunwoo explains which makes you smile.

“Yeah, I do know that. It’s one of my favorites.” And with that, Sunwoo smirks.

“I’m guessing you’ve listened to our cover if you did research on us.”

You choose to not answer and grab your notebook and pen as you try to suppress a smile. “Ah, not answering means ‘yes’, by the way.”

“No, it doesn’t!” You scoff.

“It’s just a simple question, Y/N. Why won’t you answer it?” The stupid smile on his face has your heart doing little flips.

“There would be no fun in just answering. You’ll find out soon enough,” You say as you open your notebook to a clean page only for him to chuckle.

“Can you expound a bit more on what the main message of the song is?” You inquire as you write down some points.

“It’s a love song.” That has you scrunching your nose which Sunwoo notices.

“Hey, what’s the problem with that?!” He exclaims which makes you laugh.

“There’s no problem.”

“That expression you made a while ago didn’t say that.”

 “Just don’t pay attention to my facial expressions! I won’t react, just continue,” You say as you look up from the notebook.

“It’s hard to not look at you,” He says as he tilts his head to the side with that stupid smile you have grown to both love and hate within that small period of time. You were flustered, and you did not know how to respond.

“Yeah, it’s a love song with a twist,” Sunwoo says as he tries to get back on topic (to which you are thankful for). “Picture this, Y/N.”

“I’m listening.”

“No no, close your eyes.” He urges you to do so in which you furrow your eyebrows. “What the fuck, I am not doing that.”

“Oh come on! It’ll immerse you in what Chanhee and I envisioned.”

“Sunwoo, I think you can explain it and I’ll follow through with what you’re saying.”

Sunwoo pouts at your answer as he crosses his arms. “I wouldn’t want to inform Heejin but…”

“Is that a threat?” You gasp when he simply looks around the room.

With that, you sigh and close your eyes. “Go on, I won’t keep my eyes closed forever,” You say and you hear him clap.

“Alright! Imagine this; you’ve known someone for a while, okay? And let’s say this person is someone you’ve been flirting with. You know, the push and pull, playful flirting, all the things you would do for something that started off as casual. Are you imagining it?”

“Yes Sunwoo, I am,” You sigh, which he laughs at.

“Okay. With time, you start to realize that you might actually like this person.”

“Woah, shocker.”

“C’mon Y/N, let me finish!” You laugh and decide to shut up. “Go on.”

“So, you’re on the brink of falling for them but you don’t want to admit anything. But plot twist: they seem to also be falling for you! And there comes a night where the two of you are chilling, but you two don’t want to drink for the reason that you two might confess under the influence.” As you listened to him, you got to envision what he was saying.

“You know, being with someone you like surrounded by alcohol is a dangerous combination,” You say as you finally open your eyes.

“Exactly! It’s the risk that makes it all scary because you don’t want to come off as ingenuine,” He continues to explain which has you nodding along and taking notes.

“Hm, I get it now. I dig it.” That has Sunwoo standing up from the couch with his arms spread out.

“I told you so! Chanhee and I know what are good love songs, not saying I hate love songs but clearly someone in this room does,” He says as he continues to look around, avoiding your gaze.

“I don’t hate love songs! I never said that, so stop putting words into my mouth,” You try to defend yourself as you roll your eyes. Sunwoo takes a seat again as he furrows his eyebrows at you.

“Y/N, I researched you too. There’s no need to lie.”

You let out a sigh. “Fine, I do.”

“And why so?” Sunwoo decides to ask which has you grabbing your cup of coffee to take a sip.

“Ask me later after we make some progress and I’ll answer,” You say which has Sunwoo rolling his eyes, a little smile playing on his lips.

It’s been three hours since you and Sunwoo decided to work, and there has been little to no success.

“God, why did I agree to that deadline?” You mutter to yourself as you shut your eyes with your hands over them in frustration. Sunwoo heard you as he was writing and crossing out lyrics for the track.

“Hey Y/N, why don’t we grab some lunch first?” You open your eyes and look behind you to see Sunwoo up from his seat.

“We haven’t made any progress.”

“Yeah, but you of all people should know that creativity and productivity don’t come with an empty stomach,” He tries to reason out as he walks to you and sets his hands on your chair.

As you look back at the computer in front of you, you see nothing on GarageBand. During times like these, you knew you had to get out of the studio. Whenever you hit a wall, the only solution was to find inspiration outside.

“Alright, let’s get some lunch,” You give in as you close the program and get up from your seat. “Where to?”

“I know a place for us to eat.”

Once the two of you exit the building, you follow Sunwoo as he leads you to where you two will be eating.

“So, why hate love songs?” He decides to ask which has you chuckling.

“I thought we agreed on asking once we’ve made progress, and clearly we haven’t.”

“Oh come on, we need to talk and get to know each other so that we can eventually get over the hurdle,” Sunwoo says which has you sighing.

“Fine. It’s just, I don’t know, cliché? It gets so repetitive that it gets so boring and typical.”

“Ah, you’re one of those people.” That has you letting out a gasp and looking right at him.

“What do you mean by that?!”

He only giggles as he continues to look straight forward. “C’mon Y/N, don’t look at me and look at where you’re going. You might trip.”

“As if–” Before you could finish, you trip and almost fall. It seemed like the universe was out to get you because Sunwoo was right. You were about to brace yourself for the impact, but a pair of arms grabbed your waist before you could fall.

“Oh my god, Y/N! I told you so!” Sunwoo exclaims as he lets go of you.

You wish you could say something but you were too embarrassed about Sunwoo wrapping his arms around you to save you from falling. As the two of you stood there, facing each other, you were about to apologize.

“Uh, sorry, I–”

“Just be careful next time, okay?” Sunwoo says as he rubs your head, messing up your hair. Before you could say anything, he grabs your hand and starts to walk with you following.

Usually, you would get mad if someone messed up your hair but there was something about Sunwoo that made you crave his touch. You hated how you were reacting this way over this guy. As the two of you held hands while you walked to the restaurant, you swear your heart almost burst out of your chest.

The two of you quickly arrived at the restaurant that Sunwoo wanted to bring you to; it was a small Japanese restaurant. As the two of you entered, the bells by the door seemed to chime which grabbed the servers’ attention. “Irasshaimase!”

A lady dressed in a red kimono walked to the two of you with a big smile. “Ah, Sunwoo! How are you?”

“I’m okay! I’ve been working really hard for our upcoming comeback,” Sunwoo replies with a grin that seems to warm both the lady’s and your hearts.

“Oh, you come with a guest! Hello! You are–oh my god, you’re a member of 1CON, right?” The lady asks you, showing the same smile she gave to Sunwoo.

“Ah yes, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you,” You say as you bow.

“Just a table for two, please.” With that, the lady nods and brings you two to a table located in a small room for privacy. As the two of you get seated, the lady hands you two menus to browse.

“By the way, I’m Hikaru, your server for today. Y/N, Sunwoo frequents here with the other members, so you can always ask him for recommendations,” She tells you which makes you smile. “I will.”

“Sunwoo, I didn’t know you were going out with an ex-member of 1CON! They’re one of Korea’s sweethearts,” Hikaru says, which has you freezing from reading the items on the menu. You knew your cheeks were red, so it surprised you when you decided to look up and see Sunwoo’s cheeks painted red as well.

“Ah, it’s not like that. We’re just colleagues,” He tries to explain which Hikaru understands.

“Oh, I see! I didn’t know. You two would make a good pair though,” She says as she leaves the room which has you both frozen in your seats.

Sunwoo lets out an awkward chuckle and decides to avoid your gaze. “So, what do you like to eat? This place is known for their sushi but they do have really good katsudon.”

“Yeah, sushi works for me.” Once Sunwoo ordered a bunch of sushi platters, the two of you were left in awkward silence.

“So, what do you mean I am one of those people?” You decide to ask to lighten up the mood which was successful as he seemed to laugh.

“I’m just saying, you are part of the people who hate on love songs to be “unique” for some odd reason,” He explains while doing air quotations.

“I don’t hate them just to be unique. I am not that shallow!”

“Alright, so why then?” You sigh as you look at your glass of water.

“I just think they set an unrealistic standard for what love really is.” Sunwoo tilts his head in confusion and asks, “Care to expound?”

“I’m not dramatic or anything, by the way. I think love just isn’t what lyricists make it out to be,” You say as you finally look straight at him.

“Okay, so what are your experiences with it then?”

“Woah Sunwoo, jumping right into it? Give me some time.” You chuckle.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to–”

“I was just kidding, Sunwoo. You’re good.” Sunwoo only smiles and drinks some water.

“What about you? Why do you seem to love love songs?”

“I don’t know what else to say other than I’m a hopeless romantic,” He admits with a small smile.

“Good experiences with love then I’m guessing?”

“Sure, but I just continue to love as if it’s my first time doing so.”

With that, Sunwoo has you smiling. Something about his answer makes your heart throb; you knew it would be a privilege to be loved by him. “Wow, you really are a hopeless romantic.”

Sunwoo rolls his eyes at your comment. “Alright, sue me! There’s nothing wrong with being one.”

You hum as you prop your arm on the table and rest your chin on your hand. “Yeah, it just adds more to my research.”

“Sunwoo, you sure know the best places to eat,” You admit as you try to keep yourself awake from entering a food coma.

Sunwoo smiles both at what you say and how your eyes slightly droop. “Thank you. My friend, Haknyeon, suggested this place back when we were in our trainee days. Now, we eat here so much that everyone seems to know the usual.”

You giggle and let out a small sigh as you look down at the table. “It must be nice to hang out with your friends almost every single second of the day.”

Sunwoo notices the small frown that is about to appear on your face. Before he could say anything, you shake your head as you chuckle and say, “Anyway, shall we head out?”

All Sunwoo did was nod and stand up with you as you exited the small function room. You took this opportunity to look around the restaurant and notice a bar with a small stage beside it. On that stage, people were playing different instruments as they performed a jazzy tune you were unfamiliar with.

Before Sunwoo could leave the restaurant, he noticed you staring in awe at the performers. There was something with how you admired a trio of musicians; the glint in your eyes as you observed how they pluck the strings of their instruments or played the keys of the piano; the slight bobbing of your head as you tried to go along with the tempo they played. The absolute adoration that seemed to show on your face made Sunwoo want—no, need to have you around to experience more moments like these.

Suddenly, your face of admiration morphed into realization. As you meet Sunwoo’s gaze, you say, “I figured it out.”

It is 8:37 PM. You and Sunwoo have spent the last four or five hours working on your own to create the best track suited for their unit song. In those hours, you managed to create the base track on GarageBand and think of a melody in your head. Yet, within those hours, you never noticed how much Sunwoo spent his time looking at you.

“I think I have it,” You finally say as you remove your headphones and look back to see Sunwoo who was on his fifth page full of messy words and scribbles. “Sure, you can play it out loud.”

You change the output settings to speakers and play the track for the two of you to listen. The sound of the electric guitar, the bass, and the drums came all together. You carefully watched Sunwoo as you await his response to the 45-second recording you produced.

As the track finally came to an end, you could not tell what Sunwoo thought of it. “I know it’s not a lot, but that was something I imagined for the track to turn out,” You admit as you continued to stare at him.

“Could you play it again?” You listened to his request and followed. One loop of the short recording turned into three more loops, and you were scared. No matter how many artists you have produced tracks for, you always find yourself anxious about everyone’s feedback.

Sunwoo bopped his head along with the track as he went through the lyrics he wrote. As it reached the end, he looked up to give you a big smile. “It sounds amazing. You never fail to amaze me.” 

Despite only getting to know him today, something about those words seemed to warm your heart. With that, you smile as you get off your seat and say, “I kind of thought of the melody too. Care to give me a hand with recording it?”

Sunwoo nodded with the same smile plastered on his face as he got off his seat. Once you entered the recording booth, you saw him seated right in front of the mixing console and desktop. You wear the headphones and test the microphone.

“Am I at a good volume?” You speak into the microphone and earn a nod from him.

“You can play the track, just make sure I’m being recorded.” With that, Sunwoo gives you a thumbs-up and presses a few buttons.

Once you heard the track play out in your headphones, you decided to hum a short tune. Sometimes, you even sang a few lines that came to you on the spot. Some of the things you said did not make sense but Sunwoo seemed to enjoy every single line you sang.

When the track ended abruptly, you look at Sunwoo only to see those doe eyes full of adoration.

“Y/N, please tell me you slept because–oh? You actually slept,” Soeun says in shock as she enters your bedroom and sees you still in bed.

“Soeun, what time is it?” You ask groggily as you rub your eyes.

“11 AM. I am quite surprised you slept.”

“Yeah well, Sunwoo and I squeezed out too much creative juices yesterday and basically ran dry,” You explained as you sat up and stretched your limbs.

“Mhm, how was it? Any progress?” You roll your eyes and get out of bed to walk to your closet

“Soeun, I know I fall quick and hard for almost any person but I am not going to indulge in this one.”

“We’ll see about that,” Soeun mutters loud enough for you to hear.

Before you could interject, she says, “Jihoon told me that Chanhee wouldn’t be participating in the production process due to the schedules he has to attend. Although Jihoon did say Chanhee was incredibly upset.” You nod and hum as you decide what to wear for the day.

“Which means more time with Sunwoo!”

“Soeun!”

“So, Y/N.”

“Yes?”

“Mind if I could ask you something personal?”

“Depends how you define ‘personal’.”

“How was it in 1CON? How was it to be the nation’s sweetheart?” The way Sunwoo phrased it had you laughing.

“God, I am not the nation’s sweetheart,” You deny as you decide to take a short break and look back at him.

“That’s not what the publications say! Almost every news outlet calls 1CON that.”

“I was ranked seventh, and it was a miracle! I even questioned how I managed to make it to the final lineup,” You argue as you take a sip of matcha that Sunwoo had surprised you with when you entered the building. You did not know how he knew but you could only guess that he researched on you even more.

Sunwoo frowns at your reply and says, “You went against a hundred contestants, you shouldn’t downplay your efforts.”

You only sigh and decide to cut the argument short. “Well, 1CON was just like any group; there’s not much to say.”

“Wasn’t the training difficult?”

You chose to keep your answer short and say, “It was, but my time with 1CON is something I still cherish to this day. I made some friends that I still talk to and hang out with until this day.”

“You’re close friends with Jiwoo and Heejin, right?” You nod as you look up to the ceiling, remembering the fun you had with 1CON. Despite everything you have been through, you would sometimes justify the mistreatment you faced with your debut with 1CON.

“I’m close with Yuri also, but I’m casual with everyone,” You tell a white lie to Sunwoo, knowing he would never find out.

“You came from JYP, right?”

“Wow, Sunwoo, you really have been doing research on me. You know you could always just ask! You can’t trust all the things you see on the Internet!”

Sunwoo giggles at your response, his smile showing up once more. “I’m just curious since Ryujin and Chaeryeong are from the same company as you.”

“Brilliant observation from Mr. Kim Sunwoo.” You point out which has Sunwoo laughing once more.

“I’m serious! Wouldn’t you have debuted with them?”

You sigh as you take another sip of matcha. “I would’ve but I am here producing tracks for others.”

Silence engulfs you two as both of you continue to bask in your answer. “Don’t get me wrong, I do love producing. Sometimes, I look at the artists who perform the tracks I produce and think, “Wow, I could never do that.””

Sunwoo was about to interject but you continued to speak. “But I can’t deny that I miss being on stage. The stadiums, the fansigns, the fans… and performing with friends. 1CON has changed my life, and sometimes I wish I could go back to when we were still together.”

It has been a while since you have gotten to vocalize your thoughts, and it felt nice to let this out to Sunwoo. Soeun knew all of your struggles and inner thoughts, but you always felt bad for repeating the same words and thoughts. Now that you got to vocalize this to Sunwoo, you felt at ease around him.

“I wish you would realize that you are talented to perform the tracks you produced,” Sunwoo speaks up which has you ripping your gaze from the ceiling to look right at him.

“Y/N, I do think you are capable enough—no, even more than capable to perform the tracks you have produced. I’ve listened to your own tracks, the ones you published yourself, and I believe they are the most beautiful sounds I’ve ever heard.” Your eyes are in awe over his words. “You are a very talented person, Y/N, and you might have to be my favorite producer and artist out there.”

What Sunwoo says has you starstruck. The way he thought and viewed you should have put this huge amount of pressure on you, but you were pleasantly surprised when you were met with a breath of fresh air.

“Wow, you are very passionate about this,” You finally speak up, trying to shrug off the fact that he complimented you.

Sunwoo frowns at your response and says, “Y/N, you really should give yourself more credit.”

With that, you sigh and give in for once. “Thank you, Sunwoo.”

It was weird to think how someone thought all of that about you. Having someone think of you as their favorite artist and producer? In an industry full of capable and even more talented individuals compared to little you? It felt even weirder to know that someone had to be Sunwoo.

“So, what about you? What’s it like to be in The Boyz?”

It is 2:32 AM, and you and Sunwoo are seated inside the convenience store having some late-night snacks. You could officially say you were done with 75% done with the track. You needed to work on the bridge and outro for you to finally do the final arrangements and call it finished. Sunwoo was going at a pretty good pace; he finished writing the lyrics for almost all of Chanhee’s parts and had to do some final edits on his rap.

“Hmm, I don’t know. I guess you could say it was just like any trainee experience: difficult.” You hum as you take a sip of banana milk and stare out the window.

“There were the unhealthy diets, the long hours of practice, and the scolding. God, the scolding from the company was too much that I contemplated leaving.”

“But you didn’t leave.”

Sunwoo sighs and says, “Yeah, I didn’t. Yet, there were numerous times when I wondered if all the shit I was going through would be worth it, you know? Is all the pain and suffering I’m going through right now that worth it for a debut with a group I wasn’t sure would be a success?”

You understood every word that Sunwoo was saying at that moment. The way he phrased his thoughts was exactly your thoughts back then. Despite you sharing the same sentiments with Sunwoo, you chose to not speak of the past you kept hidden.

“I see. But you���re happy now, right? Happy with The Boyz?” You decide to ask as you finally look at him.

“I couldn’t imagine my life without them. My beginning was with them and they will be my ending as well,” Sunwoo admits with a small smile on his face as he looks back at you.

During that moment, you lay your hand on his shoulder and say, “Sunwoo, I am happy that despite everything, you persevered through it all. I am so glad that you made your debut with a group that loves and cares for you. They are so lucky to have someone like you.”

Sunwoo’s eyes widen at your words, clearly not expecting to hear that. Before you could take your hand off his shoulder, he grabs it and holds your hand in his.

“Yeah… I’m so glad to have met you.” He looks out the window. “You know, you really are the nation’s sweetheart in every aspect I’ve gotten to know. The world is so lucky to have you.”

His hushed words have you flustered; it seems harder to not like him when he continues to say shit like that. As his smile followed after those words, you knew you were screwed when you felt your heart beat out of your chest. So when he said the words “C’mon, I’ll take the bus with you going home. It’s too late for you to go home all by yourself,” you knew that it was impossible to not like a guy like Sunwoo.

“He OFFERED?!”

“Soeun! Quiet down!” You exclaim as you pat your face dry with a towel.

“Sorry, I was just surprised. Sunwoo is an actual decent guy,” Soeun says as she leans on your doorframe.

“Well, he is a really good guy. He has a heart of gold.”

As you say those words while you do your morning skincare routine, you notice Soeun’s expression through the mirror morph into that all-knowing smile you have learned to hate.

“God, I can say that and not pursue him. Let me be,” You say as you roll your eyes.

“I’m just saying that with all the stories you’ve told me, it seems that he likes you too.”

You laugh at her statement and continue on with your skincare routine.

“If you’re worried about dating bans, you don’t have one. Neither does Sunwoo, I’ve asked Jihoon.” 

“SOEUN!” 

“What?! I just thought to bring it up in case you didn’t know,” Soeun says with a small smile as she scrolls through some documents on her iPad.

You sigh as you continue with your skincare routine, a mind full of last night's events. Nothing much happened if you were to be honest. You are not sure why Soeun was making it a big deal because it seemed like a basic act of decency that anyone could perform. And yet, you were unsure why your heart would flutter when you remembered it.

“I don’t know, it’s just… weird for me. I mean, I did meet him recently.”

“Yeah, but you’ve spent a good chunk of time with Sunwoo. I never held it against you when you developed this crush on him, and I think it’s healthy! I mean, we’ve spent so many years together, and I like seeing you happy.”

Soeun’s words should have brought comfort to you, but doubt took over. You bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at yourself in the mirror.

“Yeah, but work comes first.”

“But–”

“Nope, I don’t want to hear anything from you,” You silence Soeun, making her frown. The work you did was more important than anything, even more than a stupid little crush you developed for a colleague. I mean, it would remain a crush, right?

Once you finished getting ready for the morning, your phone buzzed. As you grabbed onto it, you were surprised to see a text from Sunwoo.

zzoguri 🦝: hey Y/N! i was wondering if you were up to join me for this little party

y/n: sunwoo what happened to only meeting up for work? WHAHASGDH

zzoguri 🦝: okay but we need to have some breaks you know! we deserve it after all the progress we’ve made

y/n: do you not remember that we have a deadline to meet which is only 3 days from now

y/n: plus the times we aren’t together are breaks!

zzoguri 🦝: oh cmon y/n :( if you don’t want to hang that’s fine.

You furrow your eyes as you were unsure to respond.

“Why the frown?” Soeun asks, which makes you sigh and show your conversation to her. As she reads the chat, you notice how her expression morphs into disappointment.

“Y/N, you are on a different level of being dense.”

“What?! Why?”

“He’s asking you on a date!” She says which makes you frown even more.

“Asking me out to a party is not a date. What are you on?”

“Well, maybe not on a date date, but he’s finding opportunities to spend more time with you outside of the typical meetings or work hours.” She says as she shakes her head and goes back to her iPad.

You pout as you look back at your conversation. If Sunwoo thought this was a date (which you highly doubt), he needs to step up in his game.

“I’m not saying you should take his offer, but he just wants to spend more time with you, as a friend or maybe even more,” Soeun points out, which has you pondering even harder on how to respond. Once you reached a decision, you let out a sigh and type away

y/n: kim sunwoo, i enjoy spending time with you if you’re worried about that

y/n: send me the details and i’ll make sure to attend

zzoguri 🦝: wow THE y/n enjoys spending time with me. i am honored.

y/n: don’t get ahead of yourself

zzoguri 🦝: trust me, i’m only acting like this because i’m lucky to have you 😋

It sucks that you felt yourself smile and your cheeks warm at the message.

Sunwoo did not tell you much about the party, so you wore a smart casual outfit as a safety option. When you asked about the address, he only answered with an “I’ll be picking you up.” You were seated by the kitchen island as you continued to scroll through Twitter.

The praise your recent work got for Wheein’s album was a sight you loved, and you hoped for more collaborations with the soloist. On the charts, your work was doing well alongside the title track. After all the countless nights spent working on tracks, you always find yourself at ease after seeing how the public received them.

The doorbell rings, and you are reminded that you were waiting for Sunwoo. You stood up from your seat and swung the door open, surprised to be greeted by the man you were waiting for who was dressed up from his usual hoodie. As he saw you, not a single sound left him; he was stuck looking at you up and down.

“Uh, Sunwoo?” You ask to break the weird silence that seemed to engulf you two.

“Oh, sorry. I was just—you look wonderful.”

 You smile to cover up the fact you were blushing, and joke, “You don’t think I look good the other times we’ve met?”

“Ah, that’s not what I mean. You look great every day, but today… you just look, even more beautiful right now.”

You did not expect Sunwoo to say that which has you more flustered than ever. It was impossible that Sunwoo did not know what he was doing to you; he should definitely know now.

“C’mon, we’ve got a party to attend,” He says with a smile as he grabs your hand.

As he got into the car with you, you noticed that it was Jihoon in the driver’s seat. To be honest, you were not sure why you were nervous about this whole thing. Maybe it felt weird to hold hands with Jihoon around; it also did not help to know Sunwoo had no dating ban.

With that, your hands started to get clammy, and you were about to let go of his hand. Yet, he never seemed to be bothered by your sweaty hands. Despite what you thought of the Pacific Ocean forming in your hands, he continued to hold it with the same grip. As he looked out the window to admire the city lights, you were left to admire the boy beside you.

The ride to the party did not take long. In fact, the location of it felt quite near IST Entertainment. The party took place in a building right beside the Japanese restaurant you and Sunwoo started to frequent after that one lunch. You could not help it; the sushi is to die for.

When the two of you entered the building, it was full of function rooms that could hold around a hundred to two hundred individuals. You expected Sunwoo to let go of your hand the moment you two exited the car, but he never did.

Eventually, you two arrived in front of a door. Before he could open it, you hold him back. He looks back at you with wide eyes that were laced with worry.

“Hey, are you okay?” You bite your lip as you felt your limbs fill with anxiety.

“I… I don’t know. Who are the people in there? I’m not the greatest in social gatherings so I might end up clinging onto you. Is that okay? I mean–”

Before you could continue on a tangent, Sunwoo lets go of your hand and grabs onto your face to gain your attention (which he successfully did). The warmth of his hands on your cheeks; the eye contact he held; everything about him had the ability to make you shut up and admire him like he is the only person on this earth. And that god-forsaken smile started to creep onto his lips—you were screwed.

“It’ll be alright. Cling onto me for as long as you want, I’ll make sure to keep you company. Don’t forget, I did invite you which makes me obligated to take care of you.” Before you could protest, he cuts you off.

“Sorry, don’t think I’m keeping you company as a task. I enjoy spending time with you too, and I want to spend whatever second I have left with you,” He says, which has your knees weak.

If Sunwoo did not know the power of his words, you would have smacked him then and there. There is no way the guy right in front of you is saying all this without knowing the impact these words would have on anyone. Maybe he was just as dense as Soeun thinks you are, and you were betting on it.

He eventually lets go of your face and grabs onto your hand once more. With that, he looks back to the door and swings it open. The two of you were greeted by strobe lights and BIBI’s “The Weekend” as you entered the function room.

If you had to guess, the party seemed to have at least fifty individuals (possibly a mix of idols and staff) who looked like they were having the time of their lives. As you were taking in your surroundings, you noticed idols such as Kim Yerim of Red Velvet and Mark Lee of NCT chatting with other idols you recognized.

The party was full of big shots, and that terrified you. Your nerves were starting to get to you that Sunwoo could notice. With that, you found yourself being brought in front of him so that he could hold onto your shoulders as you two walked.

“If you want to leave already, just let me know, okay?” He whispers into your ear as you continue to walk to wherever he is leading you to.

If people did not notice you were here, people definitely noticed now considering how close you and Sunwoo were. Before you could tell Sunwoo that others were staring, you two eventually arrived at a table occupied by ten other guys you knew from research—you can only assume it is the rest of his group.

“Guess who finally showed up!” Juyeon pointed out which has the rest of the group looking at you two.

“I know, I know. I had to pick up Y/N from their place.” Sunwoo says as he high-fives some of them.

“Oh my god, Y/N, please do take a seat,” Changmin says as he grabs onto the chair beside him. You give him a small smile and take a seat with Sunwoo doing the same beside you.

“I think I should introduce you to–”

“Oh, you don’t have to! I know who everyone is,” You cut Sunwoo off which has the rest of the group in shock.

“The Y/N knows us?! Korea’s sweetheart?!” Eric exclaims which has you giggling.

“Of course! Why would I agree to produce a track for Chanhee and Sunwoo if I didn’t know your group? What you guys put out is amazing!” The group expresses their gratitude after your compliment.

“I mean, the same goes for you! I would be embarrassed to admit this, but you were my bias when 1CON was still together,” Changmin says which has you laughing.

“Oh please, I don’t take compliments well,” You say as you try to shrug it off.

“I mean, Sunwoo was probably worse! He would–”

“Aish, shut up Haknyeon! Y/N doesn’t have to know,” Sunwoo attempts to cut Haknyeon off before he could spill anything.

“What? Now I wanna know!”

“Ah, Y/N! Don’t listen to him!” Sunwoo exclaims which makes you laugh at him.

“Sunwoo, I think Haknyeon has something very important to share with me. You wouldn’t want to stop us from being friends, would you?” When he gives you a pout, all you could do is giggle and pat his knee.

As the others seemed invested in their own conversations, Haknyeon says, “Well, Sunwoo had you as his bias even before you debuted in 1CON.” You gasp as you look at the guy moping beside you and back to Haknyeon.

“It was funny because he so badly wanted to meet you before but your group and The Boyz never had their schedules line up when it came to promotions. I remember when Changmin said he had you as his bias; the reaction on Sunwoo’s face is so memorable.” With that, you smile at Sunwoo who was busy sulking.

“Sunwoo, why didn’t you tell me this?” You ask which has him looking back at you.

“I didn’t think it was relevant to mention,” He mutters.

“You were just shy about it!” You exclaim as you could not stop yourself from smiling at the shy boy in front of you.

“Ah, whatever! New topic, please! Where’s Soobin and Yeonjun?”

“Uh, they were just here. However, Y/N! I forgot to mention that–” Before Haknyeon could finish his sentence, you were interrupted by your phone buzzing in your bag. As you grab it, you see a text message from Soeun.

ssongie 🐧: hey, let me know when you get back home! i’ll seriously scold jihoon if sunwoo doesn’t bring you back home.

ssongie 🐧: and i know you hate huge social gatherings so don’t hesitate to call me

ssongie 🐧: actually just call me when you're there so that i know you’re safe please &lt;3

You giggle at Soeun’s messages and decide to get up from your seat.

“I just have to call Soeun,” You explain to Sunwoo and Haknyeon and excuse yourself from the table to go to the washroom. As you were busy typing out a response, you accidentally bump into someone.

“Oh my god, I’m so–”

“Y/N? I did not expect you to be here!” The voice belonged to someone you last wished to bump into, especially at a gathering full of idols. As you look up, you see the face of your ex-peer who constantly overshadowed you from pre-debut until disbandment.

Jiyoon—the one person you hoped to avoid encountering at any given moment, especially at IST Entertainment—just had to bump into you here. You were shocked by how the universe works. How could they make you meet her here, out of all the places too?

Before you could say anything, Jiyoon wrapped her arms around your figure. The sudden action did not help how surprised you were by the whole situation.

“Y/N, it’s been a while!” She exclaims once she lets go, clearly not noticing how you did not hug her back.

“I–we saw each other recently,” You say, which makes her laugh.

“Oh yeah! But I couldn’t stay for long, remember? I had to leave the moment you got there!” Jiyoon smiled at you which made you feel awkward.

The thing is Jiyoon never intentionally did anything bad to you. In fact, your old company was to blame for cultivating this competitive environment between you two. Yet, you were sure Jiyoon saw you as a competitor as well despite the façade she put on.

“Uh, yeah. What a bummer!” If she did not notice how awkward you feel about this encounter, she should definitely notice now.

You just wanted to get out of this horrible situation. The need to just crawl under your covers to isolate yourself from your memories and reality is so strong. It did not help that people were observing the interaction between you two. I mean, who would not want to see two of Korea’s sweethearts interact once more? Yet, you knew people were curious about what would go down between you two.

“How’s producing going for you? I was shocked to hear you didn’t debut with Ryujin and Chaeryeong in ITZY! Was it because you didn’t make it to the final line-up?” You frowned at her.

“Producing is amazing because I enjoy what I do now. And no, I just decided to leave JYP.” Your response was laced with a touch of passive aggressiveness as you were uncomfortable with her question.

“Oh, what a shame. I just thought that you would have fit ITZY, but I guess JYP wouldn’t accept any of your tracks for their albums, would they?”

See, that is the problem with Jiyoon; a fake ass bitch who knew how to press your buttons. If everyone else knew how much of a bitch she was, maybe you would not have to struggle being under fire for choosing to be a producer rather than an idol.

Before you could say anything, you felt someone’s arm wrap around your shoulders.

“Hi, Jiyoon! Sorry to interrupt but Y/N and I have somewhere to be,” Sunwoo intervenes as he gives a small smile to Jiyoon.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you two came together.” Jiyoon gives a smile—the same one you grew to hate over the years. “Well, I hope to see you again, Y/N.”

Once Jiyoon finally leaves, you do not take another second to shrug Sunwoo’s arm off and make your way out of the function room. As Sunwoo follows you out, the two of you continue to walk back to the car in silence. Jihoon notices you two and starts up the car.

The moment you two get in, not a single word is exchanged throughout the whole ride. You were sure Sunwoo was confused about your reaction but maybe he did not want to ask you about it until you were ready.

What you do not expect is to feel his hand rest on top of yours. There is something that his touch does to bring you comfort. If you could unravel the reason for this, you would take it in a heartbeat. But for now, all you can do is let yourself feel at ease.

Once you were brought back to your home, Sunwoo walked you back to the door. Before you decided to enter your home, you take a look at Sunwoo who looked worried. With that, you gave him an apologetic smile and say, “I’m sorry about tonight.”

“Hey, don’t even worry about it,” Sunwoo starts off. “It’s none of my business, but just know I’m here for you.”

You cannot help but smile at him. For a moment, you do not know what to say. Yet, something possess you. Without thinking, you felt your face closer to his. As his eyes widen at the distance between you two, you cannot help but smile.

With your head leaning to the side, you felt your lips get closer to his cheek until there was no distance left. It was a short kiss to begin with, and not much thought was put into the action. The moment you pulled away, you are still met with Sunwoo’s shocked expression.

You chose to not say anything. All you did was smile and walk away. Once you entered your home, you could not help but focus on the memories you had with Jiyoon in them (and the peck you gave Sunwoo).

Having to face Sunwoo the next day was a task you were not ready to take on. As you look back at the events that transpired last night, you were unsure of how to go back to normal without acknowledging your encounter with Jiyoon (and the k*ss on the cheek you gave out of impulse).

You wish you knew what was going through your mind that made you k*ss him. Everything felt like a blur yet crystal clear. Being driven by impulse and having no second thoughts had you placed in bad situations.

Thankfully, Sunwoo did not make any comment about last night the moment you entered the studio. In fact, the only thing you two talked about was about the track. He probably did not want to put you in an awkward position, or maybe he felt awkward himself. Either way, the two of you continued to work by yourselves.

“Why aren’t you signed with a company?” Sunwoo asks the golden question that stops you from working.

You were not sure why the sudden question but all signs have to point to what Jiyoon said last night (or what she probably told The Boyz considering they are under the same company).

“You don’t have to answer–”

“Thank you, I won’t,” You say to end the conversation.

“I’m sorry if–”

“Sunwoo,” You interrupt before he could continue.

As you look away from the computer to look at him, you say, “Just continue working.” Your tone was laced with malice as you throw a glare at him. With that, Sunwoo chose to shut up and continue writing out his rap while you tried to finish the song.

The more you two continued on with work, the more you felt guilt piling in your stomach. Sunwoo was only asking a question and you treated him with such hostility. As you felt your heart get eaten away, you wondered how you could apologize to him.

Around 1 AM, it was safe to say that you were done with the base track. Thankfully, it also seemed that Sunwoo was done with the lyrics of his raps and Chanhee’s verses.

“Thank god! All we have to do is record the demo tomorrow and we’re good to go,” You say as you save the files into your USB.

Once you shut the computer down and stood up, you look back to see Sunwoo still seated on the couch. You let out a sigh as you look down at the USB in your hands.

“I’m sorry about earlier, and last night.” When you look back up at him, he had his eyes trained on you. You took a moment to think about how to approach the situation considering you fucked up.

“Do you… do you wanna grab something with me at the convenience store? Consider it an apology or an opportunity for me to explain,” You offer with a small smile.

With that, Sunwoo nods and stands up from his seat. Thank god Sunwoo is willing to hear you out.

Sunwoo took this opportunity to buy out the whole convenience store. As you two exit to take a seat in the outdoor area, his arms seemed to carry an abundance of snacks while you held onto strawberry milk and potato chips. Once the two of you got settled, you both dug into your snacks in comfortable silence.

“I’ll, uhm, explain,” You start off as you look down at your drink.

“You don’t have to if you aren’t ready to share that part with me,” Sunwoo reassures you before you could continue.

“I know, but… I trust you.” Both you and him were shocked at your words. “I–I was just thrown off a while ago because only a few people know that part of my life.”

The moment you look back up to Sunwoo, his doe eyes were full of concern. He knows that it is a sensitive topic if you snapped a while ago—and it is. Usually, you were not the type to snap at people, but this topic was a touchy issue.

“Well, you know that I used to be under JYP even before I debuted in 1CON.” Sunwoo nods. “I obviously had plans to be part of a girl group, which was ITZY if you didn’t overhear my conversation with Jiyoon. To be honest, the line-up for ITZY was tight considering that ten trainees were competing for it, including me,” You speak as you reveal the secrets of your past.

“The thing is that I was technically going to make it in the final line-up even before 1CON. So, when Soeun—who was also a staff member of JYP Entertainment—revealed that Ryujin, Chaeryeong, and I were going to audition for Produce 101, it shocked all of us. I mean, the three of us seemed like we were going to debut in ITZY, so why did we have to go through that shitty survival show?”

“Well, when Ryujin, Chaeryeong, and I made it into the final line-up, ITZY’s debut was pushed back as well. The time I spent with 1CON is something I would carry with me throughout this lifetime, but I can’t deny that the company that oversaw us was terrible.” You look down at your banana milk.

“Even after being in the final line-up for 1CON, there was this competitive nature that made it impossible for me to feel at ease. Of course, I can’t speak for everyone because most of us got along. However, I guess the most evident rivalry was between Jiyoon and I.” As you look at Sunwoo once more, he was only listening to what you had to say. There were no interruptions on his end, and that made you grateful.

“I mean, you’ve watched Produce 101, and I’m guessing you followed the news on my group. I’m sure most media outlets would focus on the rivalry between me and Jiyoon as fans would try to defend our relationship. As much as people wanted to believe that we were best friends, we really weren’t.”

“It also didn’t help that our company, Stone Entertainment, seemed to favor her over me. I swear, I respect her as a producer since we were the only people in the group who dabbled into that. Yet, it was always hard to be a producer for 1CON when your company denied your works or would completely rearrange it without giving you credit.”

“They did WHAT?!” Sunwoo exclaims for the first time since you opened up about this topic which has you giggling.

“Yeah, it was terrible. Stone Entertainment never touched Jiyoon’s works. If they did though, they always made sure to give her credit. The rivalry I had with Jiyoon was something I knew I lost the moment they took my name out of the credits for one of the tracks I produced for the group.” You sigh. “Of course, I couldn’t protest because I would be risking my position in 1CON. Along with that, JYP would have been pissed if I spoke up.”

“So yeah, I had to live under the shadow of Jiyoon. I thought that things would go better for me once I came back under the care of JYP, but I was mistaken. There was no creative freedom with the tracks I planned to produce for the group. In fact, it felt like I was being used by the company. And despite all the countless producers JYP had contact with, they made sure to use me somehow.”

“So, imagine this: I was being starved, overworked, and overwhelmed by JYP. The fact that I couldn’t do what I love without being constantly criticized took an absolute toll on me. What I went through with Stone Entertainment was traumatic in some way, to be honest. While I was trying to get over that, I had to deal with JYP.”

“In the end, I made the decision to leave, having to pay off any expenses that they covered. Soeun followed me, and it’s a burden I carry with me. I can’t pay her much despite all the work she’s done for me. Yet, she stuck with me, and I’m happy she’s taking the decision to work with IST.”

The silence that engulfs you two should be deafening, but it was calming for you. Vocalizing what you went through felt like a weight off your chest. Somehow, saying all of it made you realize just how much you had to go through to be where you are now.

Once you looked up, you were greeted by Sunwoo’s eyes which were full of sorrow.

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” He whispers which has you shaking your head.

“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for. In fact, the people who owe me an apology are JYP and Stone Entertainment,” You say with a laugh, looking at the starry sky.

“That’s why when netizens talk about how I’m a wasted opportunity or question what my future plans are, I don’t pay attention to them. What I went through at those two companies was enough to know how I’d be treated in the industry.” You sigh. “But I love music at the end of it all—I love the music I worked hard on.”

As you admired the sea of stars that seemed to surround you two, Sunwoo grabbed your hand from across the table. The moment you look back at him, he does not say anything. Instead, he continues to rub his thumb on your hand, drawing patterns as you two sit in what you shared.

You were over what happened then; you did not cry like you used to. Yet, there is something so comforting about Sunwoo’s hand caressing yours that says, “You can cry if you want to.” And cry you did.

The tears slowly streamed down your face, and you realized just how vulnerable you were around the man you supposedly just met a few days ago. Before you could say anything, you see Sunwoo give you a smile of sympathy as he continues to hold your hand that starts to shake.

Once the sobs started to pour out, you could not look at him anymore. Your body started to bend forward as you felt your heart start to ache at the memory. Somehow, you felt your body be brought towards the warm figure who was once seated across you. As Sunwoo let you cry into his chest, his arms stayed wrapped around your figure as he rubbed circles on your back.

You were never the person who could easily be vulnerable around others. Yet, it was so easy to be that way with Sunwoo. Despite the small period of time getting to know him, he did not seem to judge you as tears and snot continued to drip. That was the moment you realized that Sunwoo is everything good in this world.

Having to meet Sunwoo the next day to record the final track was probably the most nerve-wracking experience yet. In the past two days, you managed to k*ss him on the cheek (god, you hate thinking about it that you cannot even say it) and also sob your eyes out to the point his hoodie was soaked. You are not sure how you can embarrass yourself even more.

When you entered the recording studio, the universe seemed to save your ass since you saw Chanhee and Sunwoo together. Thankfully, there would be no opportunity to spend some time alone with him (at least for now).

“Ah, Y/N! It’s so nice to see you again,” Chanhee exclaims as he grabs your hand to shake it.

“It’s nice to see you too, Chanhee! Has Sunwoo shown you the lyrics and melody?”

“Yes, he did. I was practicing all night, so I’m hoping you’ll be satisfied later.” You shake your head with a smile on your face. The moment your eyes land on Sunwoo, you see his eyes on you. Still nervous from yesterday, you look back at Chanhee to get rid of the fact that Sunwoo was staring at you.

“No, this is your track. Whatever you do should live up to your standards. I’m sure whatever you do will blow my mind anyway,” You say letting go of his hand.

Once you take a seat in front of the mixing console, you say, “Chanhee, you can step into the recording booth first so we can record your parts. Sunwoo seems to have his rap under control, so let’s work hard to do the bigger tasks.”

The whole process of having Chanhee and Sunwoo record their parts seemed to pass by quickly. In fact, you managed to only spend two and a half hours just recording their parts since they wanted to experiment and figure out which went best.

What followed after was for you to combine their vocals with the track. It did not take much, which surprised you. Usually, you would struggle with this segment of the process. Yet, it helped to have Sunwoo and Chanhee in the room as they talked about whatever.

As you were immersed in cleaning up the final track, you never noticed how Sunwoo was preoccupied with admiring you. Although Chanhee caught sight of it, he continued to talk to the wall to not blow his best friend’s cover.

What you do not catch is one boy whispering to the other about admitting his feelings for you after everything.

On the next day, you were not as nervous as you expected to be (maybe it is because Chanhee and Sunwoo enjoyed the final product). You were seated with the two across from Jihoon, Soeun, and the CEO of IST Entertainment, Mr. Yoon, to present the final track.

“Thank you again for meeting with us today and accepting the offer to produce the track for Chanhee and Sunwoo,” Mr. Yoon says with a smile.

“Of course, it is a pleasure to be given this opportunity,” You say as you bow your head.

“Can you give us a brief explanation of what you have prepared for us?”

With that, you nod and give Chanhee and Sunwoo to explain the meaning behind the song.

“Mr. Yoon, the track we have prepared with Y/N is entitled “Don’t,” which is a love story with a twist. It’s a story between two people who started off casually flirting but slowly realize that they have feelings for each other,” Chanhee starts off.

“The story of this song is that the two possible lovers don’t want to admit anything and would like to stay away from alcohol in fear that they might confess under the influence,” Sunwoo continues, allowing you to say the last segment of the explanation.

“The track is R&B with a Soul feel. Sunwoo is responsible for creating the meaning behind this track, and I just worked with his idea. We hope you enjoy what we have to offer,” You finish off the explanation and signal Soeun to play the track for Mr. Yoon.

As the track played, you noticed Soeun, Jihoon, and Mr. Yoon going along with the music. In fact, it looked like they were enjoying it. As you were waiting for the track to end, you felt someone’s hand grab onto yours from under the table. When you look down, you notice that it was Sunwoo’s hand that grabbed yours. The moment you look at Sunwoo who is seated beside you, he does not spare you a glance but continues to hold your hand that rests on your lap.

You two have not talked about the k*ss on the cheek or the sob moment you had back at the convenience store. In fact, you have not talked about how he held your hand in the car or how he held your face to calm you down. Never once did you two mention the flirtatious comments you two would throw at each other.

So, what happens once the track gets approved? Will these all stop once you and Sunwoo do not have to work together anymore? What will happen to the relationship between you two?

The moment the track reaches its end, you are snapped back to reality. Once you look back at Mr. Yoon, you see him nodding with a small smile. He seemed to look satisfied with the final output.

“Y/N, I really enjoy what you put for us today. Your specialty is really with R&B tracks considering the artists you’ve produced for.” You were not sure whether that was a compliment or not since you produced tracks of different genres.

“Here at IST, we really appreciate what you put in for us. We’ll make sure to make good use of this demo.” You started to frown.

“I’m sorry, demo?” You ask, clarifying what you just heard.

“Yes, demo,” Mr. Yoon answers, leaving you taken back.

“Demo? Mr. Yoon, we agreed on Y/N producing the final track. This is not a demo,” Soeun says as she shared the same confusion you had. Mr. Yoon snaps his fingers, signaling for Jihoon to respond.

“Uhm, we sent an email a few days ago to Y/N’s email to inform them of the changes in the contract. We assumed that you two got the memo despite getting no response.” With that, you immediately stand up from your seat, Sunwoo’s hand not holding yours anymore.

“Even if, you should have clarified with me regarding this matter. I mean, we saw each other recently. Why did you not bother to ask me if I received your email?” You ask in disbelief as you set your hands on the table.

“If you were signed with a company, then you wouldn’t have to bother with fixing your habit of reading emails,” Mr. Yoon comments, which makes you scoff.

“Ah, so it’s like that then. The nerve of this company to comment on how I am an independent producer is disrespectful. Mr. Yoon, I’ll have you know that I signed that contract under the impression it would be the final track. I cannot accept giving you this as a demo knowing my work would be taken advantage of.”

“Well, I’m sorry, but we are only willing to accept it as a demo.” You cross your arms as you shake your head in disbelief.

“Mr. Yoon, don’t think this is the first time people have attempted to screw me over. I’ll have you know that I’ve been in this industry longer than your groups. Chanhee and Sunwoo can keep their lyrics while I keep my track. This agreement is over,” You say as you step away from the table, storming off the room to leave Soeun to deal with the rest.

As you made your way out of the building, you began to walk on the sidewalk to think about what just happened. Yet, you heard someone calling your name from behind. As you let out a sigh, you stood still in place and feel Sunwoo’s hand grab onto your shoulder.

“What now, Sunwoo?”

“I’m sorry about–”

“Sunwoo, you don’t need to apologize for anything. It’s your CEO and manager that need to apologize for the fact that they modified the contract without my knowledge, attempted to take advantage of my work to call it their own, and insulted me as an independent artist and producer,” You say as you were shocked with how things turned out.

Clearly, you were not in the right headspace to continue talking about what just happened. In fact, you were pissed with the events that transpired a while ago. You signed up to produce the final track with possible minimal changes, not a fucking demo.

“Y/N, will you hear me out?” Sunwoo asks which makes you let out a sigh.

“Yes, sorry. Please, say what you need to say,” You say, hoping he would understand what you felt considering how you opened up to him two days ago.

“I think you should still agree to it.”

Upon hearing those words, your mouth opens in shock. The one person you trusted to understand what you felt about this issue seemed to be turning their back on you. Considering that Sunwoo knew what you went through, you could not believe what he was asking you to do.

“I’m sorry?”

“It’ll still be a good opportunity! I’ll make sure they credit you for it, and I’ll even express my gratitude to ensure that people know you worked on this.” You let out a chuckle of disbelief as you shake off his hand that was once resting on your shoulder (and held your hand countless times).

“Kim Sunwoo, I expected better from you.” Before he could say anything, you cut him off.

“No, you don’t get to speak just yet. Sunwoo, you are an artist in this industry. You know how companies treat demos, and how there are opportunities for artists like me to get fucked over. Your company is not that different from others; they only care for profit as artists continue to struggle in this fucked up industry.”

“Sunwoo, I can’t believe that after everything I told you a few days ago, you dare to ask me something so difficult. I would have thought that out of all the people you would be the one who would understand, but clearly, you are no different from the companies who took advantage of me.”

You stand there for a few seconds in hopes to hear Sunwoo argue that he is not like the people who took advantage of you. In fact, you were waiting for him to say he understood and that he would like to apologize. But when no words came out of his mouth, that is when you knew that you were played with.

“Yeah, fuck you, Sunwoo. Don’t bother contacting me again.” With that, you stormed off and left him to sit in with what you said. You did not like to admit it but you were sure you felt tears fall as you continued to make your way back home on foot.

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