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nowdoyoungknows · 2 years

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Pairing/s: neighbor!doyoung x fem!reader

Genre/warning/s: heavy fluff, heavy angst, divorced doyoung, strangers to lovers kind of au, single female reader, mentions of deep sadness, mentions of cheating (PLEASE DO NOT CHEAT), mentions of food and alcohol, contains green jokes, flirting, cringey humor, lame story, slight makeout.

Summary: You fell in love with your neighbor, Doyoung, who is still on the stage of sadness and denial of his divorce/broken marriage.

Note: This is the part 2. I was intended to post it as one but text doesn't fit so I have to divide it. I apologize for the grammatical and spelling errors. Unedit. Do not take this plot seriously. Thank you.

Part 1 • Part 2

The next day came and it's time for Doyoung to fake his emotion once he stepped out of his apartment. He has to pretend that he didn't bawl in tears the previous night. Here he is now at the elevator together with you who greeted him like the usual friendly you, also faking as if you are unbothered by your discovery last night.

Doyoung fished something from his pocket, a familiar hello kitty sticky note. "Is the number written yours? He opened the topic which earned a mental slap from yourself. Shit. You almost forgot that you wrote your number on that sticky note and inserted that to the carton handle of the donut. You wished he never brought that issue up. 'Oh no! Did he get in trouble with his wife because of that?' you nervously thought. 'Did I ruin their marriage?'

You gave a nervous laugh and replied. "Don't take that seriously. Just forget that, will you? I was just trolling." He simply nodded and ignored you after. You assumed he bought your excuse.

Your annoying staff in your cafe is not helping your case because of their constant teasing about you trying to flirt with the bank manager guy yesterday. These kids will never let you live in peace.

"The bank manager guy." Haechan yelled that caused you to panic and fix yourself. The boys giggled that made you confused until you realize that they were pranking you.

"Ha ha funny. Let's see if you can laugh if I don't give you your salary." You sarcastically replied.

The cafe is full of people and all of you are busy catering your customers until your phone buzzed. You find a right time to check your phone and boy you are surprised as hell at who messaged you.

"Hey. Can I order 6 iced americano, 5 glazed donuts and one cream cheese bread? I will pick it up later. This is Kim Doyoung by the way."

Doyoung texted you. He saved your phone number. You slapped yourself. "Get together y/n. He is married. He is not flirting with you. He texted you for the food. This is business." After scolding yourself, you prepared his order that made one of your staff, Jeno, confused. "We didn't receive that order. To whom it is for?" He asked.

"Oh, Doyoung ordered it. He texted me." You replied which earned a nod from Jeno who is making the coffee. "Maybe he doesn't want to fall in line. There are lots of people."

People inside the cafe has slowly left, the place became less busy and more quiet. All of you are on stand by and waiting for customers until the bell chimed. Six men arrived including Doyoung. You quickly served the food that Doyoung ordered in advance. "Enjoy your meals." You said politely before leaving them alone to eat and do your job but eyes not leaving to the man you admire.

On the other hand, you have no idea that you are the topic of these men, specifically teasing Doyoung. "So she is the one hitting on you?" One of his colleagues and good friend named Kun asked Doyoung while looking at your direction.

"She is cute not gonna lie. She looks like a doll." Johnny commented.

"Because she is short?" Taeil gave a remark at Johnny's statement.

"She looks like the opposite of Jo—" Jungwoo was cut off by Taeyong, scolding him not to mention Doyoung's ex-wife as their friend is trying to move on. Jungwoo uttered an apology.

"Seriously Doyoung, you should start dating again and not give a damn about your ex." Johnny advised seriously. "Don't waste the opportunity. The fish is already swimming towards you, you don't even need to wait to catch some." He added pertaining to you.

"I'm not ready to let her go..." Doyoung replied honestly, sadness is evident.

"Bro... we are truly worried about you. You have lowered yourself too much for her when she clearly doesn't care about your feelings. She never treated you right, always acting as if you are just her personal assistant, her servant." Taeyong lectured. "I get the treat your wife like a queen but what you are doing is too much. You did everything for her but what did you get in return?" He didn't mention it but everyone knew what happened next. "Have some pity with yourself, you deserve someone who will reciprocate the love and kindness that you are giving."

"Just drink your sadness away and forget your stupid ex-wife. You are single now, don't be afraid to flirt. Celebrate your freedom." Jungwoo excited screamed which earned a slap to his hand from Kun this time.

"What drink are you talking about? Remember, you get wasted easily and you pass out. We're struggling to go home because of you." Kun scolded him.

Doyoung is thankful of his friends and their concern towards him. However, he isn't sure if he is ready to enter a new relationship at this point. His divorce is still fresh at least in his part. Besides, he always feel guilty whenever he looks at his wedding portrait. They are no longer together but why does he feel like cheating on his ex-wife whenever he smiles because of other women, especially you.

Your staff and you are cleaning the cafe, preparing to go home when one of your employee, Chenle, started to gossip. "Hey have you heard the conversation between bank manager guy and his friends? I heard something about divorce."

"Chenle, you're so nosy." Jisung remarked.

"I can't help it. They are too loud." Chenle rebutted.

"Yeah I heard it. Bank manager guy is divorced." Jaemin added, joining the gossip.

"Y/n, you said he is married, right?" Renjun asked you.

You are completely shocked at the information you heard recently. Doyoung's friends are too loud, you also unintentionally listened to their conversation. You are sure he is married as you saw their wedding portrait in his living room. Since when did they separated? Is that the reason why his wife is nowhere to be seen?

Two months since you moved in, your friendship with your neighbor, Doyoung has pretty much improved. You two had developed a habit of drinking your morning coffee at your respective balconies, having short conversation. You are careful enough not to bring up his divorce as you pictured Doyoung's voice talking about it with his friends at the cafe. He looked miserable and you respect his personal space and his feelings. You also habitually bringing him your cream cheese bread which became his favorite the moment he first tasted it.

One day when you are having your usual morning coffee, you confessed your feelings to him, early in the morning. You are actually brave in doing this maybe because you are not expecting any answer in return. You genuinely just want him to know that there is someone who love him and care for him, that he deserved to be important in someone's life, that he is not an option, that someone is loyal and faithful to him. "I like you...no I love you since I saw you. I'll be loyal to you, I promise."

"Thank you." Doyoung simply replied out of politeness.

Doyoung is currently watching his favorite series when he received a call from an unknown number. He accepted the call and few minutes later he is stumbling at his front door, wearing his shoes. He doesn't even bother changing his jogging pants and hoodie and just proceeded to the parking lot, drove to the place where you are currently in. The time he arrived, he quickly asked the reception which they guide you to where you are.

There you are on the emergency, your big scrap on your knees being treated by the nurse. Your eyes spotted Doyoung's tall figure so you waved at him with a smile on his face as if you hadn't been into a minor accident. "Hi Doyoung!"

The moment he saw you, he ran towards you and he started scolding you. "What happened to you? Are you alright? Is there any major injury aside from this scrap?" You didn't reply, instead you are grinning from ear to ear. Doyoung is worried of you, he sounds like a boyfriend to you, a husband to be exact. When he received no answer from you, he looked at you, rolling his eyes as he saw you smiling like a fool. "Stop smiling. You look stupid."

Doyoung fixed everything before the doctor let you go home. Your scooter was brought to the mechanic for repair. A car bumped into you at the parking space near the cafe that caused you to fall. Fortunately, you didn't get any major operations that needed surgery but you had this bruise on your knee that made it difficult for you to walk. Doyoung drove you home and guided you in walking but saw you struggling and in pain, he squatted in front of you and motioned you to ride his back which you happily accepted.

While walking, you sniffed his laundry fresh hoodie. "You smell good." He commented.

"Stop sniffing me." He protested.

"Finally you spoke to me. You were silent the whole car ride. Why?" You said but he remained silent so you decided to tease him. "Ohhh. I know why. You were jealous of that male nurse who treated my wound." You started while wiggling your eyebrows. Doyoung rolled his eyes. "Keep dreaming."

"Awww. Don't be jealous. He is cute but you are the most handsome man in the world. You look like a model and you are cute too. I will never replace you." You pinched his cheeks. "You are my one and only." You sing sang the last sentence.

Doyoung groaned. "Stop it. I'm not jealous. Why would I?"

"I'm just kidding. You look so adorable, like a baby... my baby."

Your jokes are annoying and corny as hell but he is stupidly smiling at it but trying not to show it to you. You both arrived in front of your door, pressing the code, Doyoung carried you to your bedroom as your request. He laid you down and bid goodbye but you talked your last tease on him. "Where's my good night kiss?"

Doyoung walked towards you again but instead of a kiss, he gave you a light tap on your forehead. "Rest now. You're full of nonsense. Good night. See you tomorrow." Then left your apartment with a grin on his face.

Because of the minor accident, you are unable to use your scooter for it's on the repair shop. Although you have a wound in your knee, you need to be present in the shop because no one will guide your staff there so you insisted of going to work despite Doyoung protesting that you should rest for a day. Maybe putting him as your guardian and his phone number as the emergency number to call in the hospital is kind of a wrong idea because now Doyoung really acted as your parent rather than a husband of your dreams.

Being your stubborn self, you still insisted so he gave up. Instead, he offered to drive you to work then back at home since your work place are next to each other. Both your respective co-workers are teasing you and keep asking what's the real score.

"She loves you truly. I can see the way she looks at you." Out of nowhere, Taeyong talked.

"I know. She confessed months ago." Doyoung replied, eyes still glued at his computer, continuing his work.

"What did you do?" Taeyong was curious.

"Nothing. I didn't accept it but not reject it either. We're okay. No awkwardness." He answered.

Taeyong nodded and respected his choice. "I'm proud of you." He remarked. Which made Doyoung stopped what he was doing. "You are becoming lively since you started spending time with y/n. And didn't notice yourself, did you? You stopped your bad habit of stalking your ex-wife on Instagram."

It hit Doyoung hard just know. He never paid attention to his own self since the divorce even the most obvious one, he failed to see it. Is he improving at this point? He is unsure until now but he sure is improving because he found himself enjoying your company. Doyoung shut everything out at the process of his separation but this time, he is doing so. During his marriage with his ex-wife, he has no female friends for she doesn't let him and Doyoung doesn't want to give his wife a reason to lose her trust on him. Now, he is spending time with you.

Ever since the accident, Doyoung became your personal driver. He even accompanied you in grocery shopping. In return, he will have his dinner with you at your apartment, you will cook for him which he let you do since you love doing so and this serves as your appreciation to the kindness he is showing to you.

"You should sit down and let me cook the dinner." He commanded but you are stubborn and refused to listen to him.

"No. I'm in charge. Sit there and watch tv. I'm fine." You said in authority. "This is a wife duty." You added then chuckled at your own words.

Doyoung shook his head at your silliness. He knows you are making it seem like a joke but deep inside he feels like you mean it. But he is not ready, he doesn't even know if he could reciprocate the feelings. All he knows is he feels important when he is with you. Something he never felt before.

You took pictures of Doyoung while he is eating because he looks adorable when his cheeks are full. At first, Doyoung is being resistant but later gave up when he saw you squealing over the pictures plus he looks really cute. So he ended up giving you permission to post it and tag him.

"Let's take a selfie." You asked, your eyes twinkling.

"No. The pictures that you have taken is enough." He replied firmly but you keep poking his cheeks while whispering 'please' nonstop. "Okay fine but just one. If you didn't get it right, no more do-overs." He firmly requested which you agreed happily.

You aimed the camera in front of your faces. Doyoung prepared his smile and you counted from one to three but the moment you click the shutter button, you kissed him on his cheek, capturing the moment.

Doyoung has grown to be used to your antics like the blatant flirting and you casually clinging on him. He let you do that to him but this actually surprised him, the kiss. You are an element of surprise, never lack any tricks on your sleeves. You are something else, one of a kind. Are you really that in love with him?

"Don't worry. I'm not going to post it on social media if it makes you uncomfortable. I'm fine with keeping this to myself." You said in a calm manner, far from your hyper self. "I just get too excited. You are the first man I did this with. You are actually my first love." You confessed. "Don't judge me for being a late bloomer."

He nodded as a response and shortly after, he thanked you for the food before leaving. "Sleep rightaway and don't stay up late to play games." He warned you which you responded with a nod and smile, cheeks flushed in pink shade.

Two weeks have a passed and your knees are perfectly fine now so you can roam around your house freely and this is the right time for you to develop your new recipe that you might add in the menu if you perfected it.

You texted Doyoung rapidly after you finished baking which the man didn't replied, instead, he swiftly went to your apartment thinking some emergency happened to you but he was totally wrong. You were on your apron, looking like a mess because of flour, grinning at him widely. He panicked for no reason. "What?" Doyoung asked.

"I developed a new recipe. I want you to taste it first and give me an honest feedback and opinion about it." You explained.

Doyoung agreed to do it and took a bite of the bread, savor it while thinking what does he think. You waited for a response, hoping he will like it. Although you are open for the possibility that he might not like it, you are praying he would say something positive because you dedicated your work for him. "This is good. It is sweet but it is not something that people might get tired after eating it once. This is perfect, well-balanced. The cream cheese is sweet but the hint of mango jam made it less tiresome to eat."

You clapped your hand and thanked heavens Doyoung liked it. "Actually, it was inspired by you." You said honestly. "You are sweet and sour at the same time. You always scold me and tap my forehead but you are very kind to me and gentleman despite me being annoying." You poured your heart as you explained the reason behind the flavor. "And it is shaped like a bunny."

Doyoung was touched at your words. Never in a million years he would thought that someone would dedicate something for him. He never heard words from people he used to love that they were thinking of him when they work, he inspires them or something. This truly means a lot to him especially from someone who always think about themselves not being enough and not worthy of being loved. "Thank you. I appreciate it so much." He is truly grateful. It made his heart full.

While waiting for you to change clothes, he wandered his eyes around your apartment. It's very youthful, full of cartoon figurine as designs in the shelves but one thing stood out the most — the photo that you took during the dinner where you kissed him for the first time on the cheek, your first picture together, you actually printed and framed it.

"Should we watch movies now?" You suddenly appeared from your bedroom, wearing your pajamas and hoodie, similar to Doyoung's. You intended to buy one so you will look like a couple. You sat beside him and started the movie.

Thirty minutes in the movie and you are no longer paying attention on screen. Your eyes are glued at the face of the man beside you. Your eyes trailed from his eyes to nose then lips. You can't take it anymore so you tapped his shoulder that made him face and before he knew it, you moved closer to him gave a long peck on his lips. Your eyes are closed but it's the opposite of Doyoung's. His eyes are as wide as the owl's huge eyes.

Doyoung is having a battle inside his head whether to respond to the kiss or not. He doesn't to give you false hope by kissing you back if he is still contemplating who really are you to his life, what's your role in his life? Is he really in love or he just want to be spoiled by you because he never felt that with his ex-wife? With a heavy heard, he pushed you away from him and retreated to his apartment immediately, holding his chest as he closed the door.

You felt ashamed about what you did earlier. Here you are, screaming but suppressing it with your pillow, kicking the air. "This is so embarrassing. What am I thinking?" You are going crazy now but decided to sleep and hope for tomorrow not to be awkward between the two of you.

The next morning, you went to your balcony with a cup of coffee and the exact same time, Doyoung appeared. You greeted him like the usual which he does the same thankfully. Silence filled the air before you cleared your throat and spoke. "I'm sorry about what happened yesterday. I was carried away."

Doyoung, like he always do, nodded as a sign he understood. "Let's just forget about it." He responded which you agreed.

Deep inside, Doyoung was the one who can't forget about it. He doesn't get enough sleep because of it, his mind is floating somewhere while he was at work, your face is only what he sees whenever someone enter the bank, all of the employees' face are all you. This is madness.

After work, he decided not to go straight home. Doyoung went to the mall to unwind since you are already okay and your scooter has been repaired, he no longer needed to drive for you. He is currently at the department store looking for some new outfits to buy, spoiling himself again. Last time he does is, when he was still single in high school. He won a singing contest and he bought some clothes and a meal from McDonald's with the cash prize to pamper himself — it's been a long time.

Out of all places where he thought he can enjoy his me time, why now? Right in front of him, his ex-wife together with the guy she fooled around behind your back, his ex-friend. He just want to buy some new necktie but all he saw is these two wicked human being sweet while trying some necktie. "Oh hey Doyoung, how are you?" He asked in a mocking tone. "Looking... like a loser huh?"

The woman tapped her partner on the arm before speaking to her ex-husband. "You're still single I can tell. Why don't you just move on and accept that I can't be with you. I don't love you anymore." She paused for a while before continuing. "Marrying you is the thing I regretted the most. Just move on and find someone else who would fulfill your dream playhouse fantasy movie thingy."

"J-Joy..."

"If... someone would want to be with you." His ex-friend added an insult to the injury. "Look at you, standing like a loser." The guy was even laughing the moment he saw a tear escaping from Doyoung's eyes. Joy, the ex-wife, is trying to stop her boyfriend by pulling him away from the situation but they suddenly stopped as someone appeared beside Doyoung.

You happened to be in the department to look for shoes when you spotted Doyoung at the necktie section being confronted by two people — a man and a woman to be specific. His head hang low, fist balled, cheeks all red, stoned where he stand while the other man looked like a bully with his smug ugly face while the woman was uneasy. You walked closely and heard the whole conversation. 'That's cruel. Why do they have to say that after purposely hurting Doyoung in the past?'

Yes, Doyoung told you the story. The next day when you had the accident while he was cleaning your wound. "The last time I had the same wound was when I scrapped my knee while I plead her not to leave me. I'm on my knees, hugging her knees tightly — one of the lowest days of my life." His bitter last words in his full book length story hit you hard. The day you promised to love him even more.

Thinking fast, you grabbed two boots and appeared beside Doyoung. "Love, I've been looking for you for a minute." You acted exhausted pretending you are looking for him. "I needed your help but you disap— oh hello." You greeted in a fake but buyable way that you just noticed them. The two were actually shocked, can't even speak. "I'm sorry but we have to go, my boyfriend and I are on a rush." You said as you caress your tummy, leaving them what they would think about it. You just want to tease them. "Let's go love." You pulled him out of the situation.

You two are currently at the mall's outdoor garden as you are trying your best to calm Doyoung down who is still in emotional wreck. He is feeling weak and small as he let all his emotions out through a bucket of tears. You sat beside him, tapped his back and slightly embraced him.

"It's okay Doyoung, let it out." You comforted him. "They are heartless. How could they do that you?" You remarked in anger. "They think they looked cool there? They look more like the loser one. That guy is not even that handsome. You are miles better than him. The girl..." you paused. "Well she is beautiful... and tall BUT all of that are nothing with a rotten core."

Doyoung is still not responding, his hands covering his whole face. You continued soothing him until you spoke again. "Lucky I was there to save you. Do I look cool?" You tried to ease the tension by leaving some jokes here and there. "That's the first time I did that. I only acted once in a play in elementary, my role is a tree in the background." The broken humor that used to earn a chuckle from Doyoung, this time, it didn't. You heaved a sigh before going back to serious mode once again.

You put your hand on his shoulder and told him. "Don't be listen to what they are saying, there is someone who will love you and would want to be with you. Me. You have me. I feel your pain. I'm here to help you just tell me whenever it hurts." You embraced but this time Doyoung had enough and stood up, his bloodshot eyes looking at you directly in furious.

"WILL YOU STOP BEING ANNOYING AND SHUT THE FUCK UP?" He yelled at you which made you flinch. "YOU THINK YOU DID SOMETHING JUST BECAUSE YOU ENTERED THE SCENE A WHILE AGO? NEWS FLASH YOU DON'T LOOK COOL, YOU ARE NOT A HERO AND I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP." His emotions are now in control of his body, not thinking the words coming out from his mouth. "STOP ACTING LIKE A SAVIOR. DON'T ACT AS IF YOU UNDERSTAND MY PAIN AND FOR FUCK SAKE STOP MAKING IT ABOUT YOU. I DON'T LIKE YOU, NOT EVEN BE FRIENDS WITH YOU. YOU ARE AN ANNOYING PUPPY WHO KEEPS ON FOLLOWING ME AROUND AND BEING STUPIDLY ANNOYING. STOP PUSHING YOURSELF TO ME. I WILL NEVER LIKE SOMEONE LIKE YOU. YOU ARE NOT JOY! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

At the very moment, you wished that you couldn't understand every single word that came from his mouth. Doyoung blurted out, vented out every single thing in one blow. Each words went through your ears, shove down to your throat then pierced straight to your already broken heart. Your vision is blurry as tears formed in your eyes. You couldn't process everything and all you can do is whisper an apology and ran away from the scene.

Know here you are in your cold room, bawling in tears not caring that much if some neighbors would hear you. Pillow drenched in tears, nose clogged, heavy breathing. Your feelings not being reciprocated is perfectly fine with you in all honesty. You are not afraid of that, not even waiting for a response, all you want is to simply express your feelings. You are contented and happy as long as you are with him. Does Doyoung really have to go that far? The words that he doesn't even want to be friends with you kept replaying inside your head. Why does he have to be mean? He should have ignored you in the first place, maybe you are not in this current state of being a lost puppy being kicked out of home.

The next morning, Doyoung woke up with a heavy heart. It took him hours to calm down last night, also took the same hour to process everything he said to you as well as the sight of you in tears before you flew out the place. He went too hard, offensive, rude, mean and hurtful kind of mirroring of his ex-wife the day she called it quits. Doyoung turned out to be that monster.

He made his coffee and went straight to the balcony with full of hope you are there, gathering his courage to apologize to you although he thinks it wouldn't be enough compared to all the distasteful words that came out from his disgusting mouth that night.

As expected, your balcony would be empty, no sight of you. What even is he expected? Did Doyoung honestly think you would act like nothing happened, that he wasn't a jerk last night and will casually greet you and crack a joke on you? Now, jokes on him. He no longer have the appetite to finish his coffee and decided to just go to work.

Both of you always walk out of your apartment at the same exact time, riding the elevator next to each other and leaving the building together. Today is different. You are nowhere to be seen. No one's going out from your place. Did you leave early or are you still inside? His journey to the parking lot is quiet and lonely. There is no you who would crack a joke, shamelessly flirt and will spill some tea.

Driving past dream cafe, he saw you sweeping the leaves in front of the shop. His question has been answered. You left for work earlier so you don't have to leave at the same time as him, you decided to avoid him, not wanting to piss him off by your annoying antics. That is the last thing that he would want to do, hurting Doyoung's feelings. Maybe he is right, you are being selfish for doing your own thing without asking him if it makes him comfortable. You are too carried away with your feelings because that's the first time you fell in love.

Your co-workers are worried about you. How can you be this good at faking your enthusiasm and smile in front of other people? You are always in the verge of crying but when someone will pass by you, you will paint a smile automatically as hard as you could then speak in the most cheerful way that you can get. "Good day, please have some free taste of our new menu." You tried to give them a portion of the bread happily, hopefully they won't notice how you struggle holding your tears back.

On the other hand, Doyoung is struggling to focus on his work. He saw you outside when he opted to get some fresh air. Instead, he spotted you struggle giving free taste outside your cafe, he saw you crying when no one's passing by. It crushed him, he is guilty. His words deeply affected you. The once y/n who is very positive and smiley is nowhere to be found. Doyoung is the culprit of the missing part of you.

Doyoung and his friends are currently in the lounge at their office. They noticed his silence and his bloodshot eyes. "What happened?" Taeyong asked worriedly.

"Did you see Joy somewhere that's why you are all sulky today?" Kun guessed but it didn't affect him, the mention of the ex-wife's name but he simply replied. "I suppose."

But the moment Johnny mentioned your name, emotions flooded. "I saw y/n at the cafe. She seems different today, she looks sad. That's weird and unusual of her. Doyoung do you have an idea what happened?"

That's the cue. His tears are having a raise who will fall the fastest, Doyoung quickly stood up and ran to the bathroom. His friends looked at each other and all of them picked up and pieced everything together. "I knew it." Jungwoo commented as he opened his palm. "Give me your money. You are all wrong."

Two months have passed since you decided to avoid Doyoung at all cost because of that incident. Whenever you happened to leave your apartment at the same time, you will opt to take the stairs instead of joining him inside the elevator. When your scooter broke, Doyoung offered to drive you to work but you ignored him and walked towards the bus stop as fast as you could. One time when Doyoung went to your cafe, ordered a bread then complimented you about how cute you are with the hello kitty clip, you brushed it off as it pissed you off a little bit. Did he honestly think that you are that easy to get? Doing the smoothest thing to get in your life just by being a flirt? Is he mocking you since you used to do that to him before? Annoyed, you slammed his order at his table and walked inside the kitchen without greeting him.

"Did you even apologize?" Kun started after Doyoung told everything that happened since your fight. He shook his head and said. "I can't find the right timing. I will gather my courage but then she will ignore me as if I'm not even existing, I'm invisible, I'm a thin air."

"Well, y/n can flirt with you even with your lack of response. You have no excuse. Man up and apologize even how many times she ignores you." Taeyong added. "We know you like her."

Doyoung was quick to deny. "No. I don't. It's just... I miss her jokes... and flirting... and her annoying antics... her food. That's all."

"Just say you missed HER. You talk too much and said less at the same time. You are already in love with y/n." Johnny teased him.

"No, I'm not."

"Then why are you not wearing the wedding ring anymore?" Taeil pointed at Doyoung's ring finger, noticing the subtle detail. The boys were surprised and it's true. Doyoung has eliminated officially one of his bad habits of wearing the wedding ring.

Jungwoo suddenly appeared and surprised everyone with his loud presence. "Look, Joy posted on Instagram that she is engage with pug-face." He announced as he showed everyone his phone, letting them see the post. Doyoung peaked and surprisingly it has no effect on him. "Okay. Then what are we going to do with that?" He replied.

"You're not going to cry?" Jungwoo asked in confusion.

"Why would I? It's her life." He simply replied, showing no hint of jealousy and sadness.

"See? You are in love with y/n. You already moved on with Joy." Taeyong pointed at him, looking proud.

After the long day of teasing, Doyoung has finally in his safe space earlier than usual. He has nothing to do and decided to clean his apartment, maybe give it a makeover. Sweeping the floor, wiping the furniture, changing carpets, bed sheets, pillowcases and curtains, decluttering his closet and lastly removing all the remnants from the pass – he finally had the guts to remove the wedding picture without the feeling of being hurt and sad, instead with a smile and light heart. He hid it at the box where he can no longer see it. Everything is fine now as he relaxed at his couch drinking beer. His eyes caught the attention of a hello kitty envelope, grabbed it pulled out the content. He remembered now, you gave him a copy of the first selfie you had at dinner, the one you placed in your living room. Doyoung smiled lovingly as he caressed your face in the picture with his thumb, his hear is beating fast.

It's already late at night, Doyoung can't close his eyes. Why is sleepiness ignoring him as well? Opening another canned beer, he sat on his balcony under the moonlight while looking at your empty ones. God knows how much he longed for you. Call him crazy but he found himself talking to the empty chair where you usually sit, the alchohol is slowly putting an effect on his system.

"Hey y/n! I know you can't hear me and probably you are sleeping, you should be! BUT I... I miss you so much I hope you are still up and playing video games at your living room so you can hear what I'm saying." Doyoung gulped another drink and continued. "You're annoying, a flirt, noisy, corny and... you are short and you are... the one I want. I want to be with you, I want to listen to your jokes everyday, cook for you, put you to sleep, hug you, kiss you and... love you. I'm deeply in love with you. I fell for you without me even realizing it. Your short ass managed to slip into my heart. I love you. I sincerely do. I'm very sorry for being a jerk, an asshole... I'm sorry if I'm stupid for saying all those things to you. You are annoying but I want you to stay in my life. You are not Joy and that's the reason why I love you. You are you." After he let out al his hidden feelings finally after trying to deny and resist it, he felt relieved even though there's a zero chance you heard it. He deeply sighed before falling asleep on his couch.

The next morning, Doyoung woke up, all sweaty and smelling like beer. Even difficult for him, he stood up to drink some water, take a shower and brush his teeth. Lucky for him, he has no work for today. He decided to take a jog today to make his a day a productive way. As soon as he stepped outside his dorm, he spotted you, carrying a luggage. Doyoung panicked mentally. Are you moving out? Are you leaving him?

You were about to enter the elevator when Doyoung called your name and ran towards you, holding your hand which rests on the handle of the luggage. "I know you are mad at me and avoiding me but do you really have to leave and move out?" His tone is pure sadness. "Okay, I'm sorry for everything that I've said and done. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry for venting out my frustration on you. You don't have to forgive me but don't leave. If you want, I will no longer bother you but please stay... I still want to see you every morning. You can treat me like a complete stranger if you want to, all I want is to see you. Please don't move out." He said in all honesty.

You blinked your eyes a couple of times, confused until you realized why. You wanted to laugh but decided to play along with him and looked at him in poker face. "Doyoung, I'm offended... you called me..."

He didn't let you finish, cut you off and replied. "Yes I know, I called you an idiot, selfish, annoying..."

"Short" you cut him off as well. "You called me short, that's what I'm going to say. You're being noisy last night just to call me short."

Now it's time for Doyoung to look puzzled and he looked funny to you. If only Doyoung can see himself. "You were actually right last night, I wasn't sleeping and I stayed up late night playing video games." You spoke. "I heard everything. I lost the game because of you... I was distracted by what you said." You added. "Did you m—"

"Yes i mean it, cross my heart, hope to die. I love you." He looked straight to your eyes, confessing his feelings, you can see his emotions. "So stay here. Don't leave." Doyoung embraced you tightly, not wanting to let you go.

"Doyoung, let go." You commanded. "I have to go." Then you broke to his hold. "Or else I won't be able to sell these garments."

"What?" Doyoung, at this point, has no idea what's actually going on. "What sell?"

"I'm not leaving." You told him the truth because you can no longer hold this prank anymore. "I'm on my way to my friend's boutique to deliver these clothes. I'm sewing clothes too..." you then broke into laughter. "If only you can see how puzzled you look. You look like you are holding your poop. You are nervous as hell."

His hand is aiming at you ready to tap your forehead like how he usually do it whenever you are being annoying but this time instead of his hand, his lips touched your forehead, giving you a loving, gentle and long kiss. "Annoying." Doyoung said after letting your forehead go.

"You are annoying too. I thought you are going to kiss me on the lips."

"Later."

"Now."

"Later."

You huffed as you two rode the elevator. Doyoung is lame, you thought inside your head but the moment the elevator door closed, he gave what you wanted, kissing you the whole elevator ride, fortunately no one interrupted, it's only the two of you. He didn't let you gasp for air and just sealed your plump lips with the sweetest yet hottest kiss you've received, only letting you go when the door opened. Your cheeks are flushed, still catching air while Doyoung smiled like a fool. "I love you so much."

"I love you too..." You replied after you recovered from the kiss. "Can we do that again?" You requested that earned a big laugh from him.

END.

#doyoung x reader #writing #doyoung nct #doyoung imagines #doyoung fluff #doyoung angst #doyoung fanfic #nct doyoung #doyoung x you #doyoung x y/n #doyoung drabbles #nct x reader #nct 127 doyoung #nct fanfic

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trueffelmaiden · 1 year

Note

hey! this is the anon who wanted your opinion on "milky" and drawings of bosomy L and Light. I wanted those as a joke, i thought it would be your sense of humor. i apologize if i made you uncomfy, i thought it would amuse you and i have a bad time guessing what other people consider "too" nsfw as i am asexual and have a dirty sense of humor.

for "milky", did you like the style of writing? was it well-written? also, who else do you think would want to read it? i am an aspiring content creator, and would appreciate somes tips.

sorry again... i shall draw big tiddy light yagami on my own... fill an non-existent niche

Hey Anon, no you didn't make me uncomfortable at all (tbh I don't think anything can do that at this point in my life asdjkhas), but be aware that i'm a bit of a weirdo and others might not feel the same!

Anyway, and don't take this the wrong way, but with the frequency and the nature of your requests there wasn't really any other way for me to interpret them other than, well, as kinks. And I guess I kinda shot myself in the foot (heh) with all the jokes about foot fetishes but that's still all in good fun, I just don't really want to do kink requests on my blog. I will absolutely do some non-serious goofing around with prompts when I can think of sth funny, but when I'm not feeling it I'm not feeling it. I guess I'm just not the kind of artist to fulfill this particular service. You could probably find someone who does comissions if you're still interested?

In the same vein, I also can't give you constructive feedback for the fic since it caters to a very specific interest that does not really apply to me. I guess if I had to give you some kind of tip, it would be to think about why you're writing for these specific characters and make use of that. Like, play up parts of their dynamic that makes ppl drawn to them in the first place, and transfer that to your specific scenario. Basically, and I can't believe I'm writing this, if you're writing Lawlight kinkfic, don't be afraid to give us some mindgames and brainy foreplay???

OK, I hope this helps and clears things up a bit!! Toodles, anon!

#answered asks #cw kink #kink discussion #I'm just spewing words at this point my brain is leaking like those male tiddies #ok bye!!

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miiracleboys · 1 year

Text

I posted 5,143 times in 2022

That's 1,627 more posts than 2021!

336 posts created (7%)

4,807 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@itachiyamaas

@emosuna

@transrightsyamaguchi

@kenmasdysphoriahoodie

@theirtheretheyre

I tagged 5,129 of my posts in 2022

#hinata shouyou - 782 posts

#kageyama tobio - 529 posts

#oikawa tooru - 525 posts

#bokuto koutarou - 520 posts

#riko.txt - 429 posts

#akaashi keiji - 418 posts

#miya atsumu - 407 posts

#kuroo tetsurou - 389 posts

#gif - 383 posts

#tsukishima kei - 370 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#like he’s still tall but suddenly in reference to his teammate’s he’s ‘’stocky’’ instead of ‘’built like an artillery tower’’ bsjfjsnfk

My Top Posts in 2022:

okay we’ve talked about akaashi and udai and makki being all at least mildly pathetic in the timeskip but what about atsumu. yes he’s a pro athlete but his jokes never land, no one listens to him, he embarrasses himself in front of teammates and fans alike, and then he ruminates about it for forever until the only thing he wants to do is crawl into a hole and never come out. he’s on tv all the time and still gets mistaken for his chef brother, whose restaurant he sometimes goes to to have semi-public freak-outs. one of the few people that can instill true fear in him is a rice farmer. and it’s hilarious.

286 notes - Posted July 14, 2022

fic recs 5 :)

more cock, fewer roaches. please. by Gray_Herring | M | 30.9K

sakuatsu. not as horny as the title suggests, i swear. sakusa’s apartment is being fumigated for bugs, so he stays at atsumu’s for a few days. actually very sweet and made me want to melt—sometimes Being Known is not such a mortifying ordeal.

In the Closet (and not in that way) by Hihoneyimdead | G | 4.4K

sakuatsu, vaguely american setting because of the au. atsumu is in marching band, sakusa is in color guard, and osamu locked them in a storage closet together for an hour. funny and also somewhat caters to my specific distaste for the “interfering outsider” trope bc they are full of spite and so am i <3

four ways to fall asleep by precious_red | T | 5.2K

arankita. a year after they’ve graduated, kita stays at aran’s apartment for a few days while they watch interhigh. warm and comforting like hot tea.

Up No More by venxvon | G | 7.7K

arankita are fake-dating, and when the team finds out, aran tries to clear up the story to akagi and oomimi. lots of humor, really fun.

from the earth by charcoalsuns | G | 1.9K

aran-centric character study and a relationship study with inarizaki, with plenty of team-as-family. the bookmark note i left was “ooughghghg,” which about sums it up.

one million rooms & one million vacancies by tothemoon | G | 919

bokuto-centric character study from over the years. i love bokuto so much oh my god you don’t understand he’s so important to me—

a little bit of chaos by desdemona | G | 2.9K

ushiten, kind of—more gen but with a heavy ushiten seasoning. tendou gets Ideas, and ushijima is an enabler; they’re Guys Being Dudes and semi gets to reluctantly play damage control.

all in due time by rosalyra | T | 8.9K

iwaoi. au where, when you turn 17, you can meet yourself from 10 years in the future. author’s tags say they “just want oikawa to know he’s happy and he made it” and yeah. Yeah.

the art of keeping up by sieges | T | 12.3K

sunaosa. osamu gets suna to help him write a love letter—the premise is inspired by the half of it (2020), which, if you haven’t seen, you should go watch Right Now. this one’s really pretty and whenever i read it i want to yell into the void for a while bc man. Man.

seven days of rain by gabstar | T | 4.4K

akaashi-centric character study and a bokuaka relationship study. bokuto loves the rain, and akaashi comes to find comfort in loving bokuto. mostly fluff and wonderfully written; feels like racing someone in the rain and laughing until your cheeks hurt. god. THEM.

when i get home by blessings | T | 4.5K

iwaoi. a series of phone calls over the years, each made to the other. humor, fluff, a little bit of angst—they love each other so much wagh

home, and how we built ours by orphan account | T | 2.9K

iwaoi move into an apartment together, and even though the place is a wreck, it’s theirs, and it’s home.

send your cutest delivery boy by hcjime | T | 4K

iwaoi. au where oikawa just wants to order a pizza, makki Interferes in the form of inputting the special instruction of “send your cutest delivery boy,” and iwaizumi happens to be the titular delivery boy. funny and sweet :)

308 notes - Posted March 24, 2022

fic recs 3

In Another Castle by thehoyden | E | 19K

kuroken move in together after they both graduate. domestic and sweet; They Are In Love.

Richer than milk, sweeter than honey by redroseinsanity | T | 3.6K

kuroken, fae au. kuroo bargains with kenma for the first time as a child and then keeps going back as time passes. some light horror elements, but by virtue of being them, they love each other a lot. straight up Vibes.

how to win at speed dating by Mooifyourecows | T | 7.2K

daisuga. daichi loses a bet with oikawa, and as punishment he has to take part in a speed-dating event, where he ends up meeting suga. i laughed out loud here a few times. the back-and-forth banter here is fantastic and daisuga’s dynamic is so good.

eggceeding eggspectstions by asyncrhony | G | 1.9K

the msby 4 and the schweiden adlers trio have an egg-eating contest. short and silly and maintains really fun character dynamics.

Three Stories by bumblebeesknees | G | 4.9K

iwaoi. oikawa gets a confession from one of the kids he works with and it spurs him on to make a confession of his own to iwaizumi. very soft and with lovely aftermath.

This Is for Your Own Good by metisket | T | 6.3K

daiyuisuga, sort of a suga character study featuring a michimiya-suga friendship and kagehina Causing Problems. funny and actually everything i’ve ever wanted in a daiyuisuga fic.

we happy few by owlinaminor | T | 1.3K

shiratorizawa-centric; a series of snapshots from shiratorizawa’s time together compiled by tendou. the bookmark note i left on this one was “WEEPS INTO MY HANDS” and. yeah. Yeah. this one is also illustrated!

the art of reaping what you sow by trapavoid | G | 5.4K

tsukkiyama and kagehina. tsukishima gets invested in kagehina’s bizarre will-they-won’t-they for reasons that are Definitely Not Projection and in doing so comes to Realizations about his feelings about yamaguchi. his voice in this is fantastic and the whole fic is really funny.

Your Money And/Or Your Life by suspiciousflashlight | T | 11K

suga pov. daisuga are basically married and play it up to benefit financially, [john mulaney voice] no other reason. their dynamic and characterizations here are absolute gold. lots of humor and wonderfully domestic. also features tanakiyo :)

Ask A Stupid Question by darkmagicalgirl | G | 2K

ennofuta. ennoshita, yahaba, shirabu, and futakuchi, as captains of their respective teams, are interviewed on tv and futakuchi decides to be a menace about it, partially for the sake of it, partially to get a reaction out of ennoshita. this one made me laugh!

better days to find by addandsubtract | T | 6.6K

ushiten. tendou is a witch and the fic explores, to an extent, his relationship with his magic and how he has to keep it under wraps while he continues to support ushijima as a friend and as a pro athlete. this fic is just. cozy. love is stored in the casual intimacy and homemade meals :)

Watermelon Sugar by Hihoneyimdead | T | 4.3K

sakuatsu fantasy au. sakusa is an assassin hired to kill the crown prince of inarizaki, but atsumu is unfortunately both clever and charming and sakusa finds himself, despite his best (?) efforts, charmed. their dynamic here is really fun. features side sunaosa.

a long unbroken light by brella | G | 2.2K

karasuno-centric. ukai watches the crows learn to fly across three summers. ;-;

pointing at the moon by amillionsmiles | G | 3.7K

tsukishima character study and a relationship study with his brother as they grow up, apart, and back together again. the writing is gorgeous and i want to ugly cry every time i read it.

345 notes - Posted February 20, 2022

for a while my question was “how does bokuto have both big brother and little brother energy at the same time” and i think i know the answer. he’s a youngest sibling but he’s also the cool older cousin at every family function that let you play on his phone and taught you how to do a cartwheel and made a competition out of making faces at each other behind the adults’ backs whenever conversation at the table got boring

348 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

fic recs 7!

soda can blues by kitouma | T | 1.6K

pre-relationship osasuna. [annoying little sibling voice] oooooh suna has a cruuuush!

let the river rush in by brella | T | 3.6K

kuroken. kuroo helps kenma retouch his roots. this fic is very beautifully done; it’s about the Pining.

dog days by devote | G | 9.6K

iwaoi relationship study as they grow up together. Holy Shit, my Feelings. the prose and the flow are fantastic here; in the author’s words, “love is stored in the iwaizumi.”

Under Pressure by ghostystarr | G | 8.2K

sakuatsu. bokuto and hinata notice sakusa’s crush on atsumu and decide to take it upon themselves to coach him on how to flirt. all parties involved do an absolutely abysmal job. funny and sweet in equal measure :)

Like An Ocean by kiyala | M | 1.6K

iwaoi. iwaizumi and the shapes his love for oikawa takes over the years. ough.

Sunday morning rain is falling by Hyeyu | T | 1.5K

iwaoi. oikawa goes through some fan mail, iwaizumi loves him, and the two of them spend the morning together in their kitchen. warm and domestic

most people never even get a single high school rival by sulfate | G | 5.2K

team argentina gets an outsiders’ glimpse of iwaoi. this whole fic is, i think, the author’s love letter to oikawa, iwaoi, and the series itself, and MAN is it good. this is another one of my all-time favorites!!

Jump the Gap by fathomfive | G | 1.3K

people don’t like to sit next to aone on the train; futakuchi realizes this one morning and decides to keep him company in all his glory. excellent characterization and a wonderful depiction of their friendship. aone is So important to me.

We’ll Figure That Out When We Get There by fathomfive | G | 2.2K

moniwa runs into a bit of trouble in a train station and the rest of datekou take it upon themselves to help. a delightful read; moniwa is Very tired and datekou’s a team—they have each other’s backs!

Close to the Chest by darkmagicalgirl | T | 61.2K

yahaba character study centered around him, his sexuality, and growing up. some kyouhaba and side iwaoi. MAN was this one good; the pacing, the prose, the depth of the emotions—all incredible. please note that this deals quite a bit with homophobia though

an unlikely duo by miracleboysatori | G | 1.7K

au where yachi goes to shiratorizawa and she and tendou end up bonding and becoming friends. short and sweet ^_^

by jove (we are going to own this thing for sure) by owlinaminor | T | 1.5K

ushiten enjoy their mornings together, and tendou’s a bit of a nerd. domestic and soft.

soft blue by groaninlynch | G | 6K

bokuaka. bokuto finds akaashi’s sketchbook by accident. a very sweet depiction of their dynamic; they like each other so much.

Running Into the Sun by booksong | G | 3.9K

kagehina’s relationship development through a series of their little competitions. they’re so dumb and i love them.

Add New Contact by booksong | G | 8.6K

See the full post

554 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #longish post #i love how 60% of my top tags are fic recs #riko.txt

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utilitycaster · 3 years

Text

Wizard Breakdown Tracker, #136

Yet again we have had an episode covering a remarkably short span of time - perhaps our shortest yet, as honestly this might have covered under an hour, in-world. So once again I cannot really vamp about what most of the NPC wizards are doing, because honestly I am pretty sure Eadwulf might have just been doing push-ups the entire span of this episode. So our eyes turn, pun intended, to the man of the hour, the drow trapped on an emotional rollercoaster only partially of his own making, Shadowhand Essek Thelyss, and pretty much everyone else can wait. Probably for a couple of weeks since I suspect next week will similarly not cover much time.

As a reminder, Caleb Widogast is a PC, not an NPC, and is also, currently, a sheep.

Currently sidelined: Allura, Pumat, Trönt, Astrid, Eadwulf, Ludinus, Oremid, Known Gem Wizard Hotsauce Lutefisk (this is still funny to me and I have learned that the audience one must cater to is always one's self), and the body of Vess Derogna which to be perfectly honest was probably unceremoniously dumped somewhere in Aeor, which is going to make this either way more awkward, or way less. That said the Mighty Nein's next task is "deal with Ikithon" so it's not like they're going to avoid murdering Assembly members.

Essek Thelyss: I observed that there were four major themes among the tags in my activity from this past episode:

I want to punch Lucien so much

I want the wizards to kiss so much

ha! tiny Veth on a sheep! the water elemental has titties!

In my opinion there is too much going on

These are all very correct opinions to hold and Essek is currently, if I may understate the situation, experiencing the last one. And also probably some variation of the first two. Probably not the third.

Within this one hour, at most, span, which I should note immediately follows his discovery that the Aeorians were excellent at dunamancy and did not appear to give a shit about the Luxon in the bargain, he has learned that Caleb and Beau have some abilities based on those eyes; that the cranky immortal weasel that sits on Jester's shoulder is actually her shapeshifted archfey god; that time travel specifically tailored to do the exact thing he wants to do is not only real but also seems to require the combination of his own expertise and the expertise of his potential love interest who also wants time travel for the same reasons; that Jester is fully aware of his flirting, thinks it's great, and got an answer from Caleb that he (Essek) is not privy too specifically thanks to eyeball powers; and that there are still a whole bunch of monsters after them although they might have all killed each other. He has taken 36 points of psychic damage, has been carried by a flying Caduceus, has been grappled by a water elemental, is probably sopping wet, and now he is in the Astral Sea and what's more he's probably going to be at the front of the pack, because he is a high-level wizard and Caleb is a sheep with intelligence 2 for the moment, unless Tiny Veth decides to bonus action dash*.

This is a lot, and I think the sheer nonstop nature of all of this has punched through the cheerful nihilism I predicted last week, and I am fairly sure the main thing getting him through this is that first, tis a far far better thing, better than he has ever done; and also he was right about the Luxon.

Conclusion: 9/10. I was going to say this is just a countdown to when Essek can finally scream into Caleb's shoulder for an unspecified amount of time but actually Essek seems like the kind of person to lie face down on the floor, also for an unspecified amount of time. Either way it is going to be well-earned.

Yussa Errenis: Again, I find it enjoyable to think that a tiny part of Yussa that cannot communicate meaningfully with Jester's sending or do anything really does still exist within the insanity, watching from the inside and psychically face-palming, which is rich coming from Mr. What does THIS button do. Anyway I hope a tiny surge of hope has arrived, as the party finally enters the astral plane and can hopefully do something.

Conclusion: I already made my Cantorian infinity joke very early on and while I can't vamp about the Dwendalian wizards I can about that, namely, did anyone else read the Number Devil? I think it was originally written in German but I read the English translated edition, and it was about like, basic number theory, geared towards kids, and honestly it was great. Anyway my point here is that there's a chapter towards the end where they go to Number Heaven, where the Number Devils live (the cosmology of the dreamscape in which the Number Devil resides is not really made clear) and they meet Georg Cantor, and he is very strange in a "I thought about infinity WAY too much" way, and now I am imagining the Somnovem as being kind of like Georg Cantor in a children's book from the 1990s about math. Anyway. Yussa is still off the charts but maybe we're a little closer to rescuing him.

*because this is the internet and some people are insufferable I am acknowledging here for posterity both that out-of-combat Astral Plane movement per the DMG p. 17 is not strictly subject to the walking speed = 3 x INT score, and that Beau could also bonus action dash if she wanted to use her limited ki points in the worst possible way, but I am trying to make a very sophisticated joke here, namely hahaha wizard smart sheep stupid Veth tiny.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #shadowgast #essek thelyss #yussa errenis #wizard breakdown tracker #you know what i'm going to just start tagging for characters there's no good reason not to other than my own laziness

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headofhelios · 3 years

Note

Ok I am a single follower but I like hannibal tv but would enjoy ur movie thoughts I like some of the books too and have been meaning to get around to the movies 😳😳

OKAY I'M EDITING A READMORE ONTO THIS LOL I REALIZED THATS SOMETHING I CAN DO! so now my incredibly waaayyy too long answer abt my thoughts on 2002 will is under there. apologies bc this is less "movie thoughts" and more "2002 movie will thoughts" but well thats how the chips fell

GOD okay sooo for the record i am reading the red dragon book and am like 7 or 8 chapters in and full transparency im not like. enjoying it lol. the book pisses me off with its misogyny (all the women in it are either dead or it feels like you're supposed to think theyre Selfish Bitches or theyre just there for like. bizarre and uncomfortable sexual moments like the guys talking abt that woman in the elevator, or that one part of mrs. leeds diary which is like. i guess could be there to Show Her Humanity or whatever but 1. there are more ways to do that 2. the book doesnt seem particularly concerned with her humanity considering she's barely even given a first name and so far the novel hasnt seemed to disapprove of how will thinks of her as a possession of her husband) and its inconsistency with will's most important character trait or whatever (he's so intensely, extremely empathetic towards EVERYONE, even serial killers, which makes him really good at finding them! and he can never turn this off, to the point where every time he has a conversation with someone, he ends up mimicking the way they talk, even if he tries to stop! but also he never empathizes with the victims or HIS OWN FUCKING WIFE? HELLO? so it really feels less like "extremely strong empathy for everyone that he cant control" and more like "he can empathize with serial killers extremely well and also other people if we want to Make A Point in one scene instead of letting the point show through the whole book") BUT UHHH ANYWAY. MOVIE THOUGHTS. THE MOVIE THOUGHTS YOU ASKED FOR COMING RIGHT UP!

okay this is what i am worried will either 1. draw annoying tv will graham stans to my blog like flies or 2. end with me being hanged in the town square BUT. it must be said. i prefer 2002 red dragon will graham to tv will graham. and quite frankly? so far? i think 2002 red dragon will graham is better than book will graham. i cannot lie.

my reasoning: because 2002 will actually empathizes with more people than serial killers and his boss! y'know! like you'd assume someone with constant extreme empathy would! the difference between the first scene with molly in the book vs in the movie are SO striking to me now that i've read that part of the novel. in the novel he seems very... rough, i guess, and like he doesnt care about molly's worries. he doesnt seem to see things from her perspective, which especially feels like a kick to the gut because MOLLY! SEES! THINGS! FROM! HIS! PERSPECTIVE!!! she literally empathizes with him more than he does with her! what the fuck! MEANWHILE in the movie, he does seem to care about her. his assurances that he wont get too involved seem like assurances rather than him trying to get her off his back. he hugs her and tells her he loves her and i actually believe that yeah, he loves her, he knows she's worried about him, and he wants to comfort her and ease her worries. and the victims! AGAIN such a stark difference to me! in the book, will is like... uncomfortable empathizing w the red dragon, of course, but he doesnt seem to empathize with the victims all that much, ESPECIALLY not the women. he doesnt care about them. he sees them as possessions belonging to their husbands and its so fucking gross. despite already suspecting that the red dragon chooses families based on the women, he decides to waste time focusing on the husbands as a way of "asking permission to look at [their wives]." what the fuck? meanwhile in the film, he feels for the victims so much that he can barely even say that the kids were shot in bed! when he watches the tapes, he focuses on the women! because that's his fucking job!!! and we see him empathizing with them! wow!!

siiigh okay im gonna stop talking abt the book vs the movie now bc again im only like 8 chapters or so deep. but now we come to tv will vs. 2002 will, which is admittedly gonna be more subjective and part of that it bc i cant remember a whole lot of specifics from the show bc my memory is Very Bad. but anyway

let's get the shallow stuff out of the way. yes i prefer ed norton's face to hugh dancy's. call hugh dancy "gender" or whatever have your fun i support you and your right to call any blood covered man a gender but by god is that not even REMOTELY my experience. next shallow thing to get out of the way: ed norton's line delivery is like music to my FUCKING ears compared to hugh dancy's i am so sorry. like the jokes about will shaking like a damp chihuahua before taking 5 minutes to stutter out "he's killing them....... On Purpose, jack." are funny and all but christ i had SUCH a hard time watching the show bc of that im not lying. literally hearing 2002 will just say "he's not keeping them. he's eating them." nice and quick, matter of factly is better than well im actually gonna end that sentence there but you get the idea. like YESSS you little blonde bitch get to the point i love you!!!

OKAY NOW less shallow points but also less uhh idk man i just dont remember a lot of hannibal. but basically: after seeing how caring 2002 will is, i'm kind of... idk i'm just so over tv will and how abrasive and harsh he is in comparison. like i fell in LOVE with how vulnerable 2002 will is, how he feels like he cares deeply about the people around him (and honestly... idk i cant remember a moment in the hannibal tv series that made me feel the way i felt when 2002 will can't say "the kids were shot in their beds". it's like... yeah this is a guy who feels so deeply for everyone around him at all times. i believe that.) and i just dont remember getting that same feeling from tv will. i have been gently spoon fed the most excellent chocolate pudding and everything else in my memory is just a snack pack. i guess tv will has those moments (what comes to mind is when he brings gideon to hannibal's house and is crying and he says "please dont lie to me") but idk they just didnt really do for me what 2002 will does. and then their scenes with reba! wow! i rewatched the tv version after watching red dragon, bc the film version made me tear up, meanwhile the tv version i barely remembered and i wasnt sure if that was just bc of the different mindsets i was in while watching them or what. and ok i just rewatched the tv version again and like... yeah. it's the wills lol. i LOVEEE tv reba SO much she is giving everything in that scene!! she sounds so like... broken, both bc of dolarhyde's apparent suicide and bc of finding out who he was + what he was doing, she sounds so fragile and guilt ridden! she's amazing!! but will. idk. tv will's delivery just seems... idk this feels dumb to say but it sounds like writing. i admittedly LOVE the line "people who study this kind of thing say that he was trying to stop because you helped him." and his delivery there is good. but between tv "you didnt draw a freak, you drew a man w a freak on his back" and the 2002 version, the 2002 delivery seems more genuine while the tv delivery sounds rehearsed. idk overall the 2002 version of that conversation just makes me feel more? its like. idk i can feel the 2002 version gently holding my heart while the tv version is a scene that is nice in h/nnigram gifsets or w/e.

umm ok this is already suuuper long and my brain is getting a bit mushy so i'm gonna start wrapping it up lol. i'll probably compare book will and 2002 will again after i finish the book, and then i miiight rewatch hannibal, or at least parts of s3. but right now my thoughts are basically: book will is a fucking dick who has an easier time empathizing with serial killers than with his wife. tv will is a nothing girl after being so completely catered to + also idk he doesnt have the same fragility that i want from my wills now. and 2002 will is my little caramel apple. he has this delightful vulnerability and feels like he cares so much and empathizes with more people than serial killers and his boss and 4 people in a diner for one scene! 2002 will made me care about will graham! which is honestly kind of a feat!

#long post #like so so so long #my condolences anon and also anyone following me who doesnt want this on their dash #but yeah 2002 will is my booboo bear my cinnamon swirl coffeecake my little heavensent angel #and ed nortons performance made me feel more than hugh dancy's #i think ed norton does a really good job at giving his characters that kind of vulnerability and i LOVE that!!#like yeah whatever 'you're gat arent you dont you just think hes hot' sure say that but also like #have you seen him in primal fear? its a movie thats a firm Its Complicated for me but his performance is so good and he feels so vulnerable #and even in fight club and kingdom of heaven i think he gets that in there! idk i genuinely think he's a good actor #personal #red dragon #if im writing an essay i may as well put it in my tags #asks #anonymous #<- FORGOT TO ADD THOSE TAGS. anyway #EDIT: NOW FEATURING A READMORE LOL.

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thejustmaiden · 4 years

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Fiction and Real Life Go Hand In Hand

This blog goes out to all those pro-Sessrin fans out there who refuse to acknowledge the very real effects fiction can have on our world and vice versa. I highly encourage other Inuyasha fans who defend/enable these shippers to read this, as well. I assure you, by no means are my intentions here to stir up trouble. Honestly, I just want some good healthy discourse for once if that’s not too much to ask. If you do decide to engage, please be mindful of that and treat others with respect and I will do the same in return. All in all, the goal of this blog is to exercise my right to speak out and be critical about content I believe to have very potentially detrimental repercussions. I ask that you not attack me or insult me simply for stating an opinion. Thank you!

It’s like the title says, meaning fiction does matter. Where do you think we get ideas for all the stories we tell? Where do we draw inspiration from in the first place?

Real life, that's where! And yes, always with a touch of imagination! Long story short: fiction matters because real life does.

Allow me to elaborate.

Shippers of the Sesshomaru x Rin (Sessrin) pairing say it's not fair of us to throw around serious accusations or use certain deragatory terms that suggest such awful acts like child grooming or pedophilia because of the harmful implications. One of their reasonings being that some people IRL have actually lived through these traumas, so we shouldn't dare to assume they're comparable since one is just fiction and the other is not. But this isn’t about which is worse than the other, because they’re both super problematic. All we’re literally doing is making a link between grooming in real life and grooming in fiction. They mirror each other. Same issue; different mediums. We’re not undermining any one’s past experiences with grooming or the like, nor are we prioritizing fiction to diminish real life abuse. They’re both awful in numerous ways and that’s all we’re trying to say. In fact, if anything we’re attempting to demonstrate just how crucial this correlation is between them. In order to protect past victims and prevent future ones, we must remain vigiliant of the content we consume, and yes, sometimes that means we have to challenge it too. Just because it’s widely-viewed does not make it widely-accepted or well-received. It is paramount that we educate ourselves on how to be more critical of some of the harmful tropes and images that are still way too prevalent in mainstream media. Sexualizing young and pre-pubescent girls is way more normalized than some of us even realize. It’s sad but true that Sessrin is just one of many examples. I know it feels like society has failed us in a lot of ways, but it’s never too late to re-evaluate and re-learn better and more improved ways of viewing and processing information presented to us.

Our mission: Let’s not show our kids that grooming or any other form of abuse are acceptable if they may ever come to experience or encounter it themselves. Be it the real world or on screen. Deal?

There have been a number of occasions where real life victims do speak up against the Sessrin ship and express how extremely uncomfortable it makes them feel by what it represents. The problem is that it’s becoming more evident now that many of their fans will dismiss anything purely on the basis that we pose a threat to their ship and nothing more. What it comes down to is they have no real leg to stand on and cannot possibly top any of what we have to say so instead they simply disregard it. Our inconvenient truths don't fit into their ideal *cough* OOC *cough* narrative so they just choose to be willfully ignorant. It conflicts with their fantasy, so rather than present a sound argument of their own, they flat-out reject it and offer no plausible back-up behind their reasoning besides "I don't interpret it that way." GUYS, CHILD GROOMING IS NOT UP FOR INTERPRETATION.

Just because you so desperately want your ship to come true does not mean you can up and decide to redefine a word so that it caters to your stance. Remind yourself that these are complex AND objective terms that we have no right to fiddle with to serve our own selfish purposes. This is why we can conclude that there's no debate about Sesshomaru's actions towards Rin embodying child grooming.

I apologize if any of my words are triggering by the way, so please feel free to take a break and return later if that’s more suitable for you. it's just really important that everyone in this fandom comprehends the extent in which Sessrin going canon is catastrophic. And no, I'm not exaggerating; I'm simply speaking the truth. Shippers justifying these horrible acts- yes, even in fiction- is usually due to the stubborn refusal to hear us out. No offense to anyone (just stating facts), but more times than not antis like myself feel as if we’re talking to a brick wall when we interact with Sessrin peeps. They go in circles and never expand on their perspectives.

Just a head’s up: THIS GETS LONG. Stick with me. :p

Just look at their take on the Inukag vs. Sessrin relationships for example. This isn't a question of age gaps, this is a question of physical/emotional compatibility. Inukag are the same age mentally wise regardless of one being demon and the other not, whereas Sessrin is not and never will be, and yes, even once she's an adult. The thing is we have debunked this time and time again, because they’re not the same and therefore not comparable, but for some reason these fans won’t drop it. Nothing has changed in their argument, yet they’re persistent in bringing it up. I choose to not go into more detail, since like I said, you can find it around everywhere. I just wanted to touch upon it briefly to prove a point. Maybe it will come up again later in my blog though!

Where was I earlier? Right, child grooming! Haven't you guys realized that what you’re doing is precisely what child groomers do to make excuses or deny any grooming took place at all? (FYI: I’m not accusing you of being child groomers yourselves.) “They reciprocated so the feelings are mutual" is a typical groomer response, but of course it varies. More often than not, victims of grooming aren't even aware they've been groomed until much later. That's how manipulative groomers are that they can legitmately convince you that maybe you're wrong in questioning their motives. Perhaps in the victim’s mind that because one huge indicator of grooming never actually took place it technically cannot constitute as grooming. They start to doubt themselves even though their intuition is telling them something’s off. They should just ignore it then since it can’t possibly be grooming if that one particular thing never happened, right? Wrong, grooming isn’t strictly this or strictly that. It's much more complicated and multi-faceted. This is why the “but Sesshomaru left Rin in the village” point upsets me greatly. HE WAS STILL INVOLVED IN HER LIFE, Y’ALL.

On top of that, are you aware that this is the exact same kind of predatory mindset pedophiles use to describe their infatuation with children? They'll say things like, "I don't see them as an adult and a child. I see them as two people with a soul connection." Okay no joke, I wish I was lying, but that is literally a point one pro-sessrin fan on here recently used to defend this ship. It both astounds me and terrifies me that they don't see the glaring similarities they share in common with actual pedos.

Alright, I want to quickly return to what I was saying earlier about fiction's impact on real life. (Sorry, I’m a bit of a scatterbrain!)

The characters and their worlds in our stories that we dream up and bring to life are nothing short of awe-inspiring and magnificent if we so choose them to be. If it wasn't for our imaginations, stories like Inuyasha would have never come to exist. Fiction provides us an amazing outlet where we are given the opportunity to express ourselves and explore its infinite creative possibilities.

But strip away all the demons and magical components of this show we all love so dearly and what are we left with?

At the very core, Inuyasha is a story that's very reminiscent of the human experience: love, camaraderie, a sense of purpose, and much more!

So perhaps we got a full-fledged dog demon like Sesshomaru, but does that necessarily mean we can't relate to him or understand him simply because dog demons don't exist in the real world? Well, I hope that's not how you view it or else you're missing the whole point of why humans create stories to begin with. We create them to make better sense of and thus connect with the world we live in. And when you really think about it, our stories are just a celebration of life- both our struggles and our triumphs. Now I'm no philosophy professor, but I'm pretty sure they'd say I hit that nail right smack on the head. ;)

All shitty jokes aside, the whole reason I’m mentioning this specific example in the first place is because this recently came up with another Sessrin supporter. That supporter tried to defend the ship by stating that we aren't allowed to use Sesshomaru as an example to judge by since his kind don't exist in the real world.

Now if it isn't evident already, this "it's just fiction" argument is a popular go-to stance many Sessrin fans will resort to once they've run out of ideas and are metaphorically backed into a corner. The funny/sad thing is that they seem to sincerely believe this is strong enough evidence to defend their ship with, but per usual, they fail to see how hypocritical that would be. I’ll clarify soon down below.

Seriously, since when did we decide that fantasy- or any story genre for that matter- stopped reflecting the real world we live in? I mean, we humans are the ones writing these stories. Our human influence is bound to make an impact in some capacity. In fact, we want it to!

Obviously none of us have ever met a dog demon like Sesshomaru, because how could we? Let me tell ya, this is gaslighting at its finest! This is a fictional story with fantasy elements, so of course there will be beings and creatures in their world that don't exist in our own. Does that somehow translate to the fact that nothing from the story of Inuyasha can be applied to our own personal stories or that there aren't meaningful messages to be taught and learned?

So on the flipside, if they're not screaming at us "it's just fiction" for the hundred billionth time, then they are, believe it or not, doing the reverse and comparing it to real world history. One instance of this is how they tell us we're making a big deal about something that isn't real, but go right ahead and use the history of feudal Japan to support Sesshomaru's decision to court (aka GROOM) a young girl because that's how it was done back then. And so, your point being?? It wasn't right then just because it was legal, and it's most certainly not right now. This is how all of their arguments go by the way, where you'll constantly witness a cherry-picking approach. It's agonizing to endure contradiction after contradiction in their arguments filled with nothing but holes in their logic.

I'd just like to add that if we're overreacting to this fictional ship like they love to say we are then technically so are they. They tell us things like "grow up" or "nobody is telling you to keep watching," yet fail to realize they're reacting just as fervently as we are but just on the opposing side of the same damn argument. I find it interesting how they're as invested in this show but pretend they aren't then STILL have the audacity to say it's only us who care this much!? So thank you Sessrin shippers for further proving our point that fiction is more than capable of affecting reality and the people- YES, US- who reside in it.

It's insane that people act like pedophiles and other creeps don't enjoy entertainment too like the rest of us. Believe it or not, they look just like you and me most of the time. Yes, that means they can easily pass as a “regular guy” if they so wished to. My question to you is how do you think pedophiles will take it when they discover others- underage fans more specifically- who dig the same kinda media they get off to? Maybe not in the exact same way, mind you, but there's a thin line between them when you really think about it. I mean, what other explanation is there for why literal pedos on the internet have been known to sneak into pro-sessrin group chats here on Tumblr before? (Thankfully, they were later kicked.) I know that for a fact! It's almost as if the universe is trying to tell them something they refuse to listen to elsewhere. Hhmmm I wonder what that may be.

I imagine it’s possibly one of the hardest things to admit out loud and to themselves, but I can almost guarantee you that most of these Sessrin shippers who are victims of CSA and who still see no issue with Sessrin must be living with some sort of unresolved trauma caused by the very abuse they claimed to have undergone. It's been proven that victims who do not seek or properly receive the help and treatment they need in order to address and live with a traumatic experience such as this are more likely to perpetuate that very same abuse themselves in some way, shape or form. What if in this case fiction is enough for them, but who's to say it won’t eventually manifest itself in other more dire and far-reaching ways? It's not like we haven't seen this vicious cycle before, and I can promise you that Sessrin won't be the last. LET'S STOP NORMALIZING & GLORIFYING THE ROMANTIZATION & SEXUALIZATION OF CHILDREN. Fictional example: Usagi Drop. Need I say more? Real world example: Woody Allen. Again, need I say more?

Bottom line is that Sessrin shippers don't want us to think too critically about this ship of theirs, because if we dig too deep then they're forced to face the very troubling implications this pairing really stands for. Of course they'll never admit to them, because instead they rather double down and grasp at the same old straws as long as it means their precious ship is protected at all costs. Screw everyone else if that's what it takes, because they'll threaten to burn down legit buildings in real life if that ensures Sessrin goes canon! (True story, this happened on Twitter.) They’ll taunt and bully anyone who disagrees. Even if all you literally say is that you don’t like the ship, they’ll gang up on you. Tell them about your past experience with being groomed? They’ll laugh in your face. I wish I was kidding, but I assure you I am not. And they say we're ridiculous and taking this way too seriously? Yeah...

The typical behavior of a Sessrin shipper demonstrates an overly aggressive front since they're usually on defense mode anyway. They only want to ship their sick ship in peace in other words. But just because neo-nazis have a right to spew their bigoted ideology, doesn't mean we don't got the right to punch them! Freedom of speech doesn't equate to freedom from consequences. And Sessrin shippers wonder why they got so many haters. Just sayin'.

Their presence on other platforms like Twitter and Reddit are some examples of how delusional and unstable some Sessrin fans are capable of becoming. Even recently, an anon here on Tumblr sent Richard Ian Cox (English VA for Inuyasha) a totally uncalled for ask telling him that "sessrin is love and there's nothing he can do about it." (That's not verbatim, but if you're interested I'll link you to it.) It appears they discovered that he didn't like Sessrin based on how he had been replying to asks, and just for that reason alone they thought they had the right to harass him. For simply stating his opinion, y'all. They didn't even have the decency to show their face either. Talk about immature and cowardly!

Just yesterday (or was it the day before?) a fanatic Sessrin user on Tumblr- who’s also been known for hateful remarks on Twitter but those tweets have of course been deleted since then- went out of their way to not only lurk in a group chat they don’t belong to on here but to then proceed to harass a few of us in there. They had the guts to take screenshots from that group chat, tag us in posts on their page regarding what they read in there, and without our knowledge or permission went ahead and actually blogged them?? I mean, who calls out people behind their backs while they're just minding their own business?? It worries me how unhinged and out of touch with reality some Sessriners are. Not all of them, but a whole lot of them.

It seems all they are doing is looking for trouble, as they just can't stand how much we hate this ship. So it's more than okay if they love on their ship but it's not okay if we don't and we should just keep our mouths shut. But since when do Sessrin fans have authority over our opinions? Even if they were officially canon, nothing is ever gonna change our opinion. Now when they actually do decide to participate in discourse with antis, you'll see them fishing for excuses to bow out. How they normally go about this is by fabricating a way to blame us antis for their exiting a conversation as if we're being the irrational ones here.

There’s no denying that some antis can also be overly blunt or aggressive (nobody is saying we’re perfect here), but speaking for myself, I know I would never make such nasty comments about other fans and their personal lives. And honestly? It would make me feel like shit talking bad about someone I don't actually know. Nah, I won't stoop to that level or give haters that satisfaction. I may not attack them as people, but that doesn't mean I can't attack some of their messed up ideas that threaten to distort how we should or shouldn’t perceive certain dangerous situations and events. Seeing as how for me this is more than just a matter of opinion- it's a moral responsibility and even an obligation.

I know it's difficult to remain civil when things get heated and people start taking things personally- yet more proof that fiction impacts our lives- but that's the only way any of us will ever have constructive discussions about serious topics like this. Unfortunately, Sessrin shippers, from what I can tell, are incapable of engaging in real discourse for the most part. They may be vocal but that doesn't mean they can pack a punch. I’d really love to be proven wrong someday.

Okay, moving on! If they're not involved in some big-time gaslighting then they're using their infamous strawman argument approach.

Sessrin fans’ sole purpose isn't really to defend their ship, per se, but rather to deflect and antagonize. They like to mislead in order to shift the focus/blame onto their opponent or something else that's not related so that they can stray from the main point.

Take the drama CD for example. It's officially NOT considered canon, right? But that hasn't stopped many fans from referencing it anyway so let’s too consider it for a moment. The point is that they use its "existence" whenever convenient then deny it or downplay it whenever it’s not. So on one hand, it's plain as day that they celebrate it as proof of a romantic future for Sessrin. But then later once we point out to them that Sesshomaru is essentially confessing to Rin that he will wait for her until she's of age, they'll brush it off and quickly add that they didn't interpret the scene that way and leave it at that. I mean how else would you interpret it? And if it's not a proposal of sorts then why exactly are you bouncing off the walls about it to begin with?? If that's all it means is nothing then why are we even talking about this?! You see what I mean here??! And somehow we're the crazy ones?

Let me to be frank with you. If you haven’t listened to it already, this proposal he offered her sounded like a declaration of love in a multitude of ways, which is wildly inappropriate since Rin was only 12 at the time. Signifying that Sesshomaru was/is indeed grooming her. Well, that is if you choose to recognize the drama CD. Nevertheless, whether you do or not, I personally hate that this non-canon satire is even associated with the Inuyasha name to begin with. Ugh.

Intentional or not, Sesshomaru made a deliberate decision in that moment to tell a little girl- and not just any little girl mind you but a girl he's taken in under his care for a good year- that he would wait for her if she so chooses once she's old enough.

The issue is that it isn’t only age of consent we’re concerned about regarding this pairing. What Sessriners fail to see is that this grown male authority- her vassal, her guardian, her adoptive father, or whatever you wanna refer to him as- is basically making a move on this girl he had in his company for quite some time. There's no sugarcoating that. Us antis call it how it is, and I'm sure as fucking day other people who don't watch the show would most certainly agree that the Sesshomaru/Rin bond is filial. Set aside those rose-tinted glasses of yours, and going by everything we’ve been delivered in the manga and parts of the anime (and NOT the drama cd), there are literally no hints that indicate a blossoming romance between this adult male demon and this small human girl he’s taken under his wing. You can imagine them all you want if it pleases you, but that doesn’t mean they’re there. Adult!Rin is a figment of your imagination, nothing more. The idolization of this pairing is pretty disturbing seeing as all we have to go off of in canon is Child!Rin. There have only ever been sweet and innocent moments passed between the two, which is why I’m positive that an unbiased viewer or an outsider would state their dynamic resembled something akin to a father-daugther relationship. I would bet a shit ton of money on that, believe you me!

Rin's inhibitions are low because children are naturally naive and don't know any better. Remember, she adores and trust this man with all her heart, so why would she think any of this so-called grooming is not normal behavior. (I only say “so-called grooming” because I don’t think Sesshomaru bringing her gifts in the village has to be a romantic thing.) Or how would she ever be able to understand that she’s being taken advantage of if she has no previous experience with it? Maybe if she was present for that time Inuyasha and the gang scolded Miroku when they had learned that years previous he had supposedly proposed to this young girl in the village they were visiting, then Rin would. And he didn’t even assist in helping raise her but look at how they reacted! How is this any different than Sesshomaru hooking up with Rin later? It’s actually worse in Sessrin's case. Do you honestly believe that Inuyasha and the others would take kindly to this?

It's not uncommon and considered harmless for young children to have crushes on adults, after all, but the adults in these scenarios should never resort to using and abusing the position of power they held or continue to hold over this child for any reason whatsoever.

What I'm trying to get across here is that no matter how you spin it, Sessrin can NEVER be deemed a morally acceptable pairing. Like ship what you want, we're not saying you can't ship Sessrin. What we're saying is this:

STOP referring to their bond as "pure" and not expect backlash for your grossly inaccurate statements. Just admit it's toxic, because it's extremely harmful to many viewers- and not just victims- to pretend and suggest otherwise.

Please remind yourself of the very real canon fact that Rin traveled with Sesshomaru and they established a bond all while she was just a girl. Oh, and he saved her life too many times to count, not to mention brought her back from the dead TWICE. This is why I don't care much for your counter argument "that dynamics can change over time," because although that's true, like with everything in life there must be standards we adhere to. Exceptions to rules, if you will. Our own basic morals demand it.

For instance, it’s normal that some childhood friends begin to like each other as more than friends years down the road. Nothing wrong with that, because that's a natural and healthy occurrence. Now you cannot apply this to an adult and a child for obvious reasons, but what you also cannot do is apply this to an adult who met and knew another adult while they were still just a child. Why? Well, because it'd be like betraying and perverting that former child's view of you. They were never your equal because your established dynamic resembles that of one an adult posesses with a child even once they've grown up. Think about it this way: it's in the same bracket of family members or family friends who've watched you grow up and mature into an adult. Then later just because they're all grown up, does that mean that those children "are not off bounds" - that's quoting a Sessrin shipper by the way- to these certain family members and family friends?

If you're still struggling to grasp this, I urge you to take a moment (or all the time you need!) to really put yourself in that child's shoes and self-reflect. Would you truly be alright with a family friend you haven't seen in years (but sorely missed because they used to occasionally babysit you) just someday coming back into your life and then very inappropriately flirting with you or even making sexual advances on you? (Sorry for the run-on!) Or even worse, can you picture this happening to one of your own children??! Seriously, ask yourself that and sit with that for a while and really take it all in. It’s not fun, I know, but if that’s what it takes to help you finally understand then please try and practice more ways to utilize your self-awareness in the future. It’s for everyone’s benefit, not only yours, I promise! You'll also find it makes it tremendously easier to empathize with others.

I got news for those fans who don’t view Sesshomaru as a father figure to Rin. The title we give him doesn’t hold as much weight as a lot of us are making it out to be. Let’s try to be neutral here and stick to the hard facts, shall we?

*Sesshomaru is an adult male authority whose protection Rin is under*

*It’s safe to assume that Rin has grown attached to him and maybe even looks up to him*

*They care about each other and the other's well-being*

*He has has played a crucial part in her supervision and care for a significant period of time (yes, even if it’s just passing a message along to Jaken)*

Not so random anecdote: In an Inuyasha episode I recently revisited, Sesshomaru had just rescued Rin from Kohaku who had been possessed by Naraku and was ordered to kill Rin. Anyway, at the end of their scene you can hear Jaken ask out loud, “what should we do for dinner, Lord Sesshomaru?” And that’s about the most domestic thing I’ve ever heard come out of his mouth. They’re such a family dammit and nothing will ever change that!! <3

This is precisely why I could never in a million years view those past students of mine in a romantic light. I don't care how many years have passed, it's just not possible for me. Just the idea of pursuing a romantic and/or sexual relationship absolutely repels me.

Speaking as a former teacher, you don't need to be a parental figure who's around all the time in order to have great love and affection for a child. I would've done absolutely anything in my power to protect them even though they weren't my own. Then again, I did consider them my children in a way even if wasn't in a familial sense. Does that make my love for them any less unique? No, it's just different but not inferior. When you stop to think about, it really doesn't take as long as you may think to establish rapport with a person, particularly children. Connecting with a child is almost instant (but of course some are more receptive than others), and once you do make that special connection one can only make with a child, a strong and overwhelming need to guide and protect them kicks in almost automatically. The unconditional love an adult feels for a child is powerful and constant, and nothing should ever change that. As much as some of you really want to believe otherwise, that feeling doesn’t just go away because they turned 18. In your eyes, they’ll always be that kid.

I get it, sometimes when we escape into these fictional worlds of ours, it's difficult not to project our own wishes and desires onto certain characters. I don't blame fans for picturing themselves with Sesshomaru- I know I did haha- but never once did I self-insert myself as Rin. I know she's one of the biggest catalysts for his character growth- if not THE biggest- but how and why does that need to turn romantic? There are other antis who I have spoken with on this. They informed me that they used to live vicariously through Rin and ship them together, as well. As they got older, they later learned how weird and twisted this ship actually was. That's what's supposed to happen, y'all, you're supposed to grow out of that fixation.

Now take your mind out of the Inuyasha universe for a second and hypothetically (or not hypothetically if you have kids) answer me this: if and/or when you ever have a child, would you genuinely be comfortable with the idea of them dating and eventually marrying their father’s best friend who was also there to witness them grow up? Be honest please.

I highly doubt you would want that- or at least I hope not. You see, that's another MAJOR point I've made a few times already and yet you Sessrin shippers continue to avoid the question. It's pretty obvious it hasn't been rhetorical either. Ignorance is bliss?

Finally, I’d like to address one more point. It seems there is a HUGE misconception and I'd like to clear it up real quick. That is Sessrin shippers misinterpret one of the issues we have with this ship. They chalk up our complaints of Sessrin being canon (which is a LIE, nothing has been confirmed yet) to us just being salty because that somehow means our ships aren't or won’t be. I assure you, readers, other antis and I will attest that this ain't about dumb shipping wars, this is so much bigger than that!!!

I noticed recently that some Sessrin fans have even begun calling us Karens lolol like if anybody is a Karen it's them! This ain't about some mere difference in taste, this is very likely to have LONG-LASTING NEGATIVE EFFECTS. Sessrin going canon is a very harmful message to send viewers and children/teens especially. So if anything, it’s these shippers who are being the entitled ones here thinking that the fact we don’t support their ship is the worst thing in the world. NO, THE REAL PROBLEM IS CHILD GROOMING. GET OVER YOURSELF.

Out of nowhere, some of them even started assuming all us antis were white, which in their books is also equivalent to Karens or even white supremacists somehow?? Those aren't one in the same, but it's easy to make it appear that way when the US is currently tackling major systems of oppression and racial injustice. Because to them, all antis must be from over here. (Yes, I'm American. But no, I'm not white.) How else can anyone explain not shipping Sessrin, right?! Somehow they have it in their heads that ALL of Japan and surrounding places are super approving of this ship, and that everyone else isn’t because of their upbringing and “Western way of thinking.”

To give you an idea of what I mean, look back at what I talked about earlier with their incessant mention of Sessrin vs. Inukag. Because THIS is another popular example of how these shippers present their side and then ignore all the facts. Many fans have already proven how fucked up and inaccurate it is to label whole countries and cultures. It’s like they simply think mentioning it makes it count even though we’ve discredited their points over and over. Nah, you got to back it up with good reasons that support your side of the argument. That’s How To Have An Argument: 101. So at the end of the day, all they're actually achieving in doing is making dumb and entirely unrelated accusations based on nothing just to lead to deductions that are equally unfounded. Nothing at all is accomplished but more gaslighting and hurling of insults on their part = a complete waste of time for antis = an excuse for them to peace out early from the conversation & that’s what they wanted all along

We’ve reached the end (finally! sorry for all the rambling!), and I hope those of you who stayed till the end or read enough can take something positive out of this. As many Inuyasha fans are aware, there will be a livestream with the VAs for Sesshomaru and Rin coming out within the next few hours. We don’t have all the details yet, and afterwards we probably still won’t. I’m not just talking about Sessrin here but about the sequel in general. Whatever happens, please just remember to be kind to one another. If you don’t think you’re capable of doing that, then it’s best you vent and fume elsewhere. Easier said than done, I know, but just try. Throughout this blog, I admit there were moments where I got frustrated and took some jabs at Sessrin shippers. Please believe me when I say that I do not and would not ever wish any of you ill will.

Inuyasha was such a huge part of my childhood, and I’m not gonna lie, I’m anxious as hell that Sunrise will ruin one of the best things I loved about this show. So pardon me if my reactions are too visceral for your liking. haha Also, like the movies and the drama cd, this sequel is not in fact canon. Therefore, for those of you who disagree or who still plan to enjoy this new series, respect the fact that some of us fans will definitely “cancel” it if we feel that’s what we have to do to come to terms with it and move on. Fans have that right, after all. Why should we get on board with something if it’s so uncharacteristic of and unrecognizable from the original source material? If all this is some sort of cash grab of Sunrise’s doing, then count me out. I truly hope that this sequel turn outs being a lot more promising than a lot of us are expecting. I’m begging you, Sunrise, I wanna believe you’re better than this. Please and thank you!

By the way, if you’re interested, feel free to check out my two other blogs on this same subject. Click here and here. The last two screenshots do not come from something I’ve written myself. If you’d like to read more from where those came from, let me know and I’d be more than happy to send you the links. Okay, bye for now. Peace out and stay safe, everyone!

#inuyasha #hanyo no yashahime #anti sessrin #sesshomaru #rin

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arcticdementor · 3 years

Link

“Hey bro! Check out this Nike ad!” This was my entry point into a new world.

…

Since Carlos had lived mostly outside the United States, he was able to follow soccer on a level I’d never encountered in my hometown. Back then, before social media and the advent of scarf-wearing Northwestern fútbol hipsters, big-time European soccer was like the metric system: Known to almost all but ourselves. But Carlos knew, and immediately used LimeWire to curate me a massive archive of 1990s through early 2000s soccer highlights. What was I doing in the world without them?

Oddly enough, in trying to inculcate me in soccer fandom, he started not with game highlights, but with the advertisements. Yes, Carlos was an educator and a voluntary footsoldier for Big Apparel. Going in, I had no clue about high-quality, internationally popular Nike soccer ads. The ads, written by the legendary Wieden+Kennedy firm, were miniature movies, films that were often creatively daring but also quite funny. The most popular of these ads might be “Good vs. Evil,” from 1996, where Nike’s best soccer players team up to play Satan’s literal army. The blending of sacrilege, theology and comedy just worked, like a more ambitious version of Space Jam that somehow took itself less seriously than Space Jam.

…

Yes, I know ads aren’t supposed to be high art. I understand that they are the purest distillation of manipulative greed. And yet, they sometimes are culturally relevant generational touchstones. While Nike was weaving soccer into enduring pop culture abroad, it was having a similar kind of success with basketball and baseball stateside. These ads weren’t just pure ephemera. Michael Jordan’s commercials were so good that, as he nears age 60, his sneaker still outsells any modern athlete’s. “Chicks dig the long ball” is a phrase (a) that can get you sent to the modern HR department and b) whose origins are fondly remembered by most American men over the age of 35.

Modern Nike ads will never be so remembered. It’s not because we’re so inundated with information these days, though we are. And it’s not because today’s overexposed athletes lack the mystique of the 1990s superstars, though they do. It’s because the modern Nike ads are beyond fucking terrible.

…

They’re bad for many causes, but one in particular is an incongruity at the company’s heart. Nike, like so many major institutions, is suffering from what I’ll call Existence Dissonance. It’s happening in a particular way, for a particular reason and the result is that what Nike is happens to be at cross-purposes from what Nike aspires to be.

…

For all the talk of a racial reckoning within major industries, Nike’s main problem is this: It’s a company built on masculinity, most specifically Michael Jordan’s alpha dog brand of it. Now, due to its own ambitions, scandals, and intellectual trends, Nike finds masculinity problematic enough to loudly reject.

This rejection is part of the broader culture war, but it’s accelerating due to an arcane quirk in the apparel giant’s strange restructuring plan, announced in June. Under the leadership of new CEO John Donahoe, Nike is moving away from its classic discrete sports categories (Nike Basketball, Nike Soccer, etc.) in favor of a system where all products are shoveled into one of three divisions: men’s, women’s and kids’. Obviously Nike made clothing tailored to the specificities of all these groups before, but now, Nike is emphasizing gender over sport. Gone is the model of the product appealing to basketball fans because they are basketball fans. It’s now replaced by a model of, say, the product appealing to women because they are women.

And hey, women buy sneakers too. Actually, women buy the lion’s share of clothing in the United States. While women shoppers are market dominant in nearly every aspect of American apparel, the clothing multinational named after a Greek goddess happens to be a major exception. At Nike, according to its own records, men account for roughly twice as much revenue as women do.

You might see that stat and think, “Well, this means that Nike will prioritize men over women in its new, odd, gendered segmentation of the company.” That’s not necessarily how this all works, thanks to a phenomenon I’ll call Undecided Whale. The idea is that a company, as its aims grow more expansive, starts catering less to the locked-in core customer and more to a potential whale which demonstrates some interest. Sure, you can just keep doing what’s made you rich, but how can you even focus on your primary business with that whale out there, swimming so tantalizingly close? The whale, should you bring it in, has the potential to enrich you far more than your core customers ever did. And yeah yeah yeah, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but those were birds. This is a damned whale! And so you start forgetting about your base.

You can see this dynamic in other places. For the NBA, China is its Undecided Whale. It could be argued that the NBA fixates more on China than on America, even if the vast majority of TV money comes from U.S. viewership. The league figures it has more or less hit its ceiling in its home country, so China becomes an obsession as this massive, theoretical growth engine.

…

Here’s the main issue for Nike in this endeavor: The company, as a raison d’être, promotes athletic excellence. While women are among Nike’s major sports stars, the core of high-level performance, in the overwhelming majority of sports, is male. Every sane person knows that, though nobody in professional class life seems rude enough to say so. Obviously, there’s the observable reality of who tends to set records and there’s also the pervasive understanding that testosterone, the main male sex hormone, happens to give unfair advantages to the athletes who inject it.

Speaking of which, there’s a famous This American Life episode from 2002 where the public radio journos actually test their own testosterone levels. The big joke of the episode is just how comically low their T levels are. Sure, you would stereotype bookish public radio men in this way, and yet the results are on the nose enough to shock.

As a nerdy media-weakling type, I can relate to the stunning realization that you’ve been largely living apart from T. Before working in the NBA setting, I was an intern in the cubicles of Salon.com’s San Francisco office, around the time it was shifting from respectable online magazine into inane outrage content mill. Going from that setting to the NBA locker room was some jarring whiplash, like leaving the faculty lounge for a pirate ship. To quote Charles Barkley on the latter culture, “The locker room is sexist, racist, and homophobic … and it’s fun and I miss it.”

…

The “Good vs. Evil” ad boasts a “Like” to “Dislike” ratio of 20-to-1 on YouTube. On June 17th of 2021, Nike put out an ad ahead of the Euro Cup that referenced “Good vs. Evil” as briefly as it could. In this case, a little child popped his collar and used Cantona’s catchphrase. As of this writing, the new ad has earned a thousand more punches of the Dislike than of the Like button.

When you see it, it’s no surprise that the latest Euro Cup ad is disliked. I mean, you have to look at this shit. I know we’re so numb to the ever-escalating emanations of radical chic from our largest corporations, but sometimes it’s worth pausing just to take stock and gawk.

…

But today we are in the land of new football, where we take dictatorial direction from less-than-athletic minors. After her announcement, we are treated to a montage of different people who offer tolerance bromides.

“There are no borders here!”

“Here, you can be whoever you want. Be with whoever you want.”

(Two men kiss following that line, because subtlety isn’t part of this new world order.)

Then, a woman who appears to be breastfeeding under a soccer shirt, threatens, in French, “And if you disagree …”

And this is when the little boy gives us Cantona’s “au revoir” line before kicking a ball out of a soccer stadium, presumably because that’s what happens to the ignorant soccer hooligan. He gets kicked out for raging against gay men kissing or French ladies breastfeeding or somesuch. Later, a referee wearing a hijab instructs us, “Leave the hate,” before narrator girl explains, “You might as well join us because no one can stop us.”

Is that last line supposed to be … inspiring? That’s what a movie villain says, like if Bane took the form of Stan Marsh’s sister. Speaking of which, was this ad actually written by the creators of South Park as an elaborate prank? It’s certainly more convincing as an aggressive parody of liberals than as a sales pitch. Why, in anything other than a comedic setup, is a woman breastfeeding in a big-budget Euro Cup ad?

It’s tempting to fall into the pro-vanguardism template the boomers have handed down to us and sheepishly say, “I must be getting old, because this seems weird to me,” but let’s get real. You dislike this ad because it sucks. You are having a natural, human response to shitty art. This a hollow sermon from a priest whose sins were in the papers. Nobody is impressed by what Nike’s doing here. Nobody thinks Nike, a multinational famous for its sweatshops, is ushering us into an enlightened utopia. Sure, most media types are afraid to criticize the ad publicly. You might inspire suspicion that what you’re secretly against is men kissing and women breastfeeding, but nobody actually likes the stupid ad. No college kid would show it to a new friend he’s trying to impress, and it’s hard to envision a massive cohort of Gen Z women giving a shit about this ad either.

Now juxtapose that ad not just against the classics of the 1990s but also the 2000s products that preceded the Great Awokening. Compare it to another Nike Euro Cup advertisement, Guy Ritchie’s “Take It to the Next Level.”

…

Here’s the problem, insofar as problems are pretended into existence by our media class: The ad is very, very male. Really, what we are watching here is a boyhood fantasy. Our protagonist gets called up to the big show, and next thing you know he’s cavorting with multiple ladies, and autographing titties to the chagrin of his date. He can be seen buying a luxury sports car and arriving at his childhood home in it as his father beams with pride. Training sessions show him either puking from exhaustion or playing grab-ass with his fellow soccer bros. This is jock life, distilled. Art works when it’s true and it’s true that this is a vivid depiction of a common fantasy realized.

Nike’s highly successful “Write the Future” ad (16,000 Likes, 257 Dislikes) works along similar themes.

…

The recent Olympic ads were especially heavy on cringe radical chic, and might have stood out less in this respect if the athletes themselves mirrored that tone on the big stage. Not so much in these Olympics. It seems as though Nike made the commercials in preparation for an explosion of telegenic activism, only to see American athletes mostly, quietly accept their medals, chomp down on the gold, and praise God or country. Perhaps you could consider Simone Biles bowing out of events due to mental health as a form of activism, but overall, the athletes basically behaved in the manner they would have back in 1996.

But Nike forged onwards anyway. This ad in celebration of the U.S. women’s basketball team made some waves, getting ripped in conservative media as the latest offense by woke capital.

…

“Today I have a presentation on dynasties,” a pink-haired teenage girl tells us. “But I refuse to talk about the ancient history and drama. That’s just the patriarchy. Instead, I’m going to talk about a dynasty that I actually look up to. An all-women dynasty. Women of color. Gay women. Women who fight for social justice. Women with a jump shot. A dynasty that makes your favorite men’s basketball, football, and baseball teams look like amateurs.”

When she says, “That’s just the patriarchy,” the camera pans to a bust of (I think) Julius Caesar. At another point, the girl says, “A dynasty that makes Alexander the Great look like Alexander the Okay.” Fuck you, Classical Antiquity. Fuck you, fans of teams. You’re all just the patriarchy. Or something.

Nike could easily sell the successful American women’s basketball team without denigrating other teams, genders and ancient Mediterranean empires that have nothing to do with this. Could but won’t. The company now conveys an almost visceral need for women to triumph over men because … well, nobody really explains why, even if it has something to do with Undecided Whaling. In Nike’s tentpole Olympics ad titled “Best Day Ever,” the narrator fantasizes about the future, declaring, “The WNBA will surpass the NBA in popularity!”

…

There are theories on the emergence of woke capital, with many having observed that, following Occupy Wall Street, media institutions ramped up on census category grievance. The thinking goes that, in response to the threat of a real economic revolution, the power players in our society pushed identity politics to undermine group solidarity. Well, that was a fiendishly brilliant plan, if anyone actually hatched it.

I’m not so convinced, though, as I’m more inclined to believe that a lot of history happens by happenstance. If we’re to specifically analyze the Nike Awokening, there is a recent top-down element of a mandate for Undecided Whaling, but that mandate was preceded by a socially conscious middle class campaign within the company.

This isn’t unique to Nike, either. Given my past life covering the team that tech moguls root for, I’ve run into such people. They aren’t, by and large, ideological. Very few are messianically devoted to seeing the world through the intersectionality lens. They are, however, terrified of their employees who feel this way. The mid-tier labor force, this cohort who actually internalized their university teachings, are full of fervor and willing to risk burned bridges in favor of causes they deem righteous. The big bosses just don’t want a headline-making walkout on their hands, so they placate and mollify, eventually bending the company’s voice into language of righteousness.

…

All the guilt and atonement transference make for bad art. And so the ads suck. There’s no Machiavellian conspiracy behind the production. It’s just a combination of desperately wanting female market share and desperately wanting to move on from the publicized sins of a masculine past. So, to message its ambitions, the exhausted corporation leans on the employees with the loudest answers.

There’s a lot of interplay between Nike and Wieden+Kennedy when the former asks the latter for a type of ad, but the through line from both sides is a lot of cooks in the kitchen. Based on conversations with people who’ve worked in both environments, there’s a dearth of personnel who are deeply connected to sports. In place of a grounding in a subculture, you’re getting ideas from folks who went to nice colleges and trendy ad schools, the type of people who throw words like “patriarchy” at the screen to celebrate a gold medal victory. The older leaders, uneasy in their station and thus obsessed with looking cutting edge, lean on the younger types because the youth are confident. Unfortunately, that confidence is rooted in an ability to regurgitate liturgy, rather than generative genius. They’ve a mandate to replace a marred past, which they leap at, but they’re incapable of inventing a better future.

…

Ironically, Nike mattered a lot more in the days when its position was less dominant. Back when it had to really fight for market share, it made bold, genre-altering art. The ads were synonymous with masculine victory, plus they were cheekily irreverent. And so the dudes loved them. Today, Nike is something else. It LARPs as a grandiose feminist nonprofit as it floats aimlessly on the vessel Michael Jordan built long ago. Like Jordan himself, Nike is rich forever off what it can replicate never. Unlike Jordan, it now wishes to be known for anything but its triumphs. Nike once told a story and that story resonated with its audience. Now it’s decided that its audience is the problem. It wouldn’t shock you to learn that Carlos hated the new Nike ads I texted to him. His exact words were, “I don’t want fucking activism from a sweatshop monopoly.” He’ll still buy the gear, though, just not the narrative. Nike remains, but the story about itself has run out. Au revoir.

#ethan strauss #nike #sports #substack

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mymarifae · 4 years

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every day i think about how badly we were robbed when devsis made milk. we didn’t need a whole new character that knows dark choco and would want to go on a quest to find them. avocado’s been here the whole time!!!!!!!! it’s so infuriating to think of what the guild run story would have been like if she were included. like listen:

- she’s a skilled blacksmith and obviously knows how to use the weapons she makes! personally, i headcanon that on top of her skills as a blacksmith, she can also create temporary weapons out of magic - based on her ability in game and how quickly she makes each of those, and how they vanish when she’s done using them

- so all the scenes where milk’s disgusting ass swoops in with a magical shield and saves the day? could have EASILY been avocado doing the same thing. a shield is even one of the weapons she makes during her ability!!

- she and dark choco know each other. and unlike milk, who just met dark choco ONCE and never saw them again, avocado has a real connection with them. she’s likely the one who made dark choco’s (non-cursed) sword and perhaps their armor as well

- avocado would have an actual, solid reason for wanting to seek out dark choco. perhaps she helped outfit them for their big quest, and she hasn’t heard anything from them in a while...so now she’s worried, and wants to make sure nothing bad has happened to them.

- yam actually LIKES avocado. i don’t doubt he’d be grouchy initially, but since he’s been shown to genuinely enjoy her company, he’d warm up to her, and isn’t that infinitely more appealing than “white man has to keep an eye on the violent black man who is too dangerous to be left on his own”

- dinosour would LOVE her jokes and she’d probably adore him and his jellysaur

- she and mala are a perfect match!!!! they’re both butch lesbians, kinda goofy, very lovable, and they’re both the mama bear type

- avocado’s infectious, boisterous personality has the ability to really tie the whole guild run gang together into one ragtag family. she’s strong and capable. she’s kind. she’s funny. she’s a warm hug personified.

- i also just thought of avocado telling mango tropical-based puns and jokes and making him laugh and i’m GOING to cry

anyway in conclusion. avocado should have been in guild run because i love her and i want it and devsisters needs to cater to me specifically

#*grabs micmac and throws him out a window*#cookie chatter

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judgement-free-sideblog · 5 years

Text

Never underestimate a black suit

Bill Hader x Reader

I'm not even going to pretend I regret this one. It all started in 2009 when I became obsessed with SNL, then he just kept popping up, here an there and the crush just grow, and since thanks to It chapter 2 he is finally getting the recognition he deserves I got this idea last night and I got to write it before it escapes my mind.

One shot: Imagine you are a PA in Barry and you have the biggest crush on Bill Hader but it seems like he hates you because he is dead serious all the time he is around you.

Warnings: Swearing, Age gap (I know he is just over forty but god I love him).

You were pacing on the set, the Steve Allen Theater, hoping for someone, anyone, to give you an order so you could pretend you were so good at your job as PA so they won't fired you. But the damage was done, all thanks to your verbal incontinence and now the most amazing job in the world was about to be over.

You had started working on Barry about a year ago, and you have loved every minute of it, the cast was so sweet and down to earth, and make your job so much easier, D'arcy Carden for example was always thankful with you for the simplest things like bringing her coffee and Sarah Golberg even had invited you to lunch after you helped her with a female problem one time. They were so talented and nice that you could not believe it when the production called you back for the third season to keep working there.

But then it was him, the titular character, the fucking genius whose hard work and imagination have created this magnificent show, Bill Hader. Yes you were 28 and he 42, but still you couldn't explain it, there was something about the way he spoke and the way he walked that made you weak on your knees every time, and his laugh, you were sure something had been fixed in your mind after the first time you heard him laugh.

And then it was that first week of shooting from last year, the retro outfit with the suspenders, you couldn't get your eyes off him and you almost made one of the sound guys trip with Henry Winkler. And then the table scene, you were in the back making sure the extras were in their right place and avoiding look at him because he was so perfect on that scene that you certainly will froze just by looking at him.

This little crush was obvious for absolutely everyone, except obviously for Bill, you were sure that Anthony Carrigan even deliberately asked you for anything when he was talking to Bill to see you all clumsy and awkward, not to be a dick, just to push you to talk to him, but you were certain he didn't liked you, with most of the other members of the cast and crew he was always laughing, but in the limited interactions you had he was serious, asked you for a coffee now and then or to make a phone call but just that, and you were beginning to think your absurd infatuation was making him uncomfortable, so you tone it down, made a composed face and limited to do your job.

But now you had blow it. That morning they were filming the behind the episode, for the new season, at some point Barry had one of those daydreams and he imagine himself married to Sally, so there he was all perfect in a black suit sitting in his chair next to Alec Berg talking about the challenges of the new season and how thankful they were to come back.

"So the cast is amazing, the first two episodes of the season are incredible and you have managed to keep the same novelty feeling on the series, why do you think that is?" The guy interviewing them asked.

"Well I think it's mainly thanks to the cast" Alec started "This guys are just amazing, this season we are actually giving Sally a bigger arc and that is very interesting"

"And the crew too" Bill said then "I mean they make us all look good, even when some scenes are a total disaster, the set designers, the wardrobe and all that" they made a pause and you were there to put water bottles in the table between them.

"Bill I have known that you used to be a PA, you think that gives you a better understanding on how hard it is for and aspiring actor as Barry, and does it translate on the writing?" He asked and against your better judgment you stay there to listen.

"Totally, but on a more personal level I try to no be diva with my PAs, recognize they do a hard work and know them all by name, that sort of things"

And then your verbal incontinence kick in, and there, just a few feet away, your mouth was quicker than your brain and still looking at him you spoke, not that loud to be heard by the three of them but enough for him to look straight at you.

"That's bullshit" you instinctively took your hands to your mouth and turn around before you could saw him react and went away pretending you were taking coffee orders. And here you were just waiting for the "we are gonna have to let you go" speech when one of the other PAs called you.

"Hey Y/N Hader says you have to go to his dressing room ASAP" Your friend Danny said and you felt like something heavy fall down inside your stomach.

"Can someone else go?" You answered trying to find an excuse "I have to walk Kirby's dog" you lied.

"No, he said you specifically, something about a mail he asked you to sent?" You gave him a thumbs up and start walking to his dressing room, already feeling you were fired.

"Did you need anything Mr. Hader" You tried to sound professional, and not dead ass scared.

"Oh sure, Y/N, please come in" Great! He did know your name, so apart from impertinent you were an asswhole. And he was still in that stupid black suit that made him look so gorgeous, not like the tshirts and hoodies didn't. "Do you by any chance printed those documents I asked you to send last week? I seem to have deleted them and Alec is going to freak out" He said as nice and kind as always and the weight in your stomach start lightening.

"Yeah sure, I ... well unless someone says is confidential I make copies of everything, an old habit" You said looking for a flash drive in your purse. Since all the crew sing a NDA at the beginning of the production there was nothing wrong with that, unless of course you put it on Twitter if you wanted to go to jail.

"This is not your first work on a set right?" He asked while you started looking for the documents in his laptop.

"Oh no sir. I worked in Dead to me two years ago, but since they are in a break I try my luck here last year, and HBO has better catering" You said concentrated in your work.

"Oh so you met Christina?" He asked genuinely interested, "how old were you then?"

"26, a bit late to start in this business I know, but well I like it more" You answered with a smile and then pointed to the laptop "There they are".

"Thanks so much, truly a life saver" He said and let go a sigh "And you are never too old or too young to start, as long as you enjoy it, and tolerate your bosses... bullshit was it?" He said raising an eyebrow accusatory. You immediately turn white and then red and multiple apologizes started bubbling in your mouth.

"I'm so sorry sir, I really am, I sometimes speak my mind and say all this stupid stuff, I'm sorry" You finally managed to say. He started laughing, you didn't let go the painful irony of the situation, it was the first time you made him laugh, and probably will be the last.

"I'm sorry" He said finally " I couldn't help it, relax. I'm not mad. It was quite funny what you said, I sound like such a duchebag I know everyone by name" He said making an acute voice and you start calming down "But if anything I'm sorry I made you, or any of the crew, feel like you don't matter. All of you are actually great" He said and smiled again to you. "Also lose the Mr Hader, that's bullshit, you can call me Bill".

"Oh no, I couldn't, I'm already so embarrassed by why I did" you started and he looked at you making exaggerated puppy eyes mouthing please, and it was lucky you were so nervous otherwise you would have exploded with laughter "Ok Bill"

"Ok then you are 28, and recently started as a PA, you want to be an actress?" He said, leaning back on his desk.

"Absolutely not, I wanted to be a writer, I was a writer actually in a newspaper, but it didn't feel right and then I realized I wanted to write stories, scripts, and one of my friends was an extra in Stranger things, then she said Netflix needs PAs and well there I went" You said, it was easy talk to him. "Also I don't have the looks for it and hate to se myself in pictures"

"I don't have the looks for it, and here I am" He said opening his arms "But honestly you keep writing and trying, if it's what you want, I mean I get here"

"Well yeah but have seen yourself in that suit?" Your mouth betrayed you again and you look at your feet to hide your face. "Amm I think I have a dog to walk, bye" You said before he could said anything and run away.

The next weeks were difficult, you avoid being alone with Bill but you kept doing your job as good as always, and every once in a while you will notice him looking at you, thinking on how pathetic you must look to him. Until the last day of shooting, they wrapped up the season and it was amazing. The only thing left was to go for a drink at Henry's place and start looking for a new job, thankfully you had finally written a promising draft and your hopes were high.

Maybe that's why you actually choose to drink at the party, and dance with your friends and some members of the cast, and you were a little more talkative than usual, until Anthony who was talking to you about something you were not actually listening leave you alone next to bill.

"So what's next??" He asked in the middle of the loud music, and you didn't quite got it because he signaled the garden and you followed him. "Finally I couldn't hear my thoughts" He said once you were outside.

"It's really loud, but you all deserve it" You said and suddenly realized you were alone. "What where you asking?" You tried to sound casual.

"Oh if you could get me a coffee" he joked and then quickly add "No I was wondering what's next for you after this is over?"

"I actually waiting good news from Amazon, maybe with any luck I'll get a chance with one of my scripts" You said proudly.

"That's amazing" He said with bright happy eyes "I'm so glad for you, so we won't be seeing you in season four?"

"With any luck no" You answered "You'll have to find another impertinent PA to call out your bullshit" You add laughing.

"Oh I'm pretty sure we will find someone, or I can always call you and ask you to do it for free" He said and you could notice how close he was "You know as a concerned friend"

"Sure, I can do that, my contract finalized yesterday day so I guess starting today I'm just your rude friend that says come on man don't be a duchebag" You said letting go a small laugh but he was looking at you completely serious.

"In that case..." He started and took your face between his hands, he was so tall and you felt so tiny next to him but also it was so nice and comfortable being so close, he lean in to kiss you and stop just close enough to your mouth so you will feel his breath, as if he asked for your permission to continue, and instead of saying something that could ruin the moment you close the distance and kiss him.

His lips felt soft and tender over your lips, and he slowly started deepening the kiss pressing you against him from your waist, and you hold on to the front of his jacket trying to keep him closer to you, hoping for this moment to never end, until the absurd necessity of oxygen force you to split.

"I ... I didn't think it would be appropriate to do that when we were working together" He started, smiling like a child. "I'm sorry if I made you feel like I was avoiding you, Anthony messing up with me by having you around all the time didn't help either"

"Don't worry it's okay, and yeah it would have been super inappropriate but thank god I no longer have a job" you said still trying to make sense of the situation.

"Would you... I mean I love Henry but there's only alcohol in here, do you want to go grab some dinner?" He said pointing the exit.

"I would love that" you answered, overwhelmed by joy and you followed him to the door, happy with all the possibilities the future hold.

#I love bill hader #sue me #bill hader #bill hader imagine #barry berkman #barry hbo #fanfic #fluff #bill hader fanfiction #bill hader x reader #bill hader edit #100 #200 #300 #400

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gvf-imagine · 4 years

Text

Greta Van Fleet Preferences

HOW YOU MEET

——————————

Danny:

How you meet

“Ill be out here when you're ready to show me” your friend calls , knocking on your dressing room door. You give a simple “ok” as a reply and begin to undress. You're going to a wedding this weekend and your friend is helping you find something to wear, she found her dress weeks ago, you struggled in the fashion department.

Your eyes fell on the dress your friend had picked out for you. It was a very gentle pink color and came down to your mid thigh, it was tight not flowy which was far from your normal attire. It looked nice enough but the price tag frightened you. You pulled it off the hanger and shimmied into it. Honestly, you thought you looked great, perhaps you should step outside your comfort zone more often when it came to clothing. The dress hugged your curves , which made you feel insecure but it's a wedding so no one will be looking at you, all eyes on the bride, hopefully. You fix your hair and pose for yourself, it was comfortable, surprisingly. Ok time to show her.

“So what do you think of this one? I kinda like it!” you say as you swing the changing room door open, your gaze looking down at the dress.

“Yeah you look great” a man's voice responds, your heart jumps and you lift your head quickly. Your face burns red as your friend is nowhere in sight. In her place is a tall dark haired man casually looking through some belts. Your shoulders drop as you curse yourself. Idiot.

“Oh i'm sorry! My friend said she'd be waiting out here for me” you reply with a smile, trying to pretend like you didnt feel like throwing yourself off a bridge. The man chuckles “oh yeah she left , said there was a cute guy that walked by” he answered looking towards the front of the store. God that is just like her, chasing after some dude.

“It really does look nice on you” the man says again. You smile and look down at yourself “you think so? I usually don't wear this sort of thing, but i'm going to a wedding” you explain with a chuckle. He nods, his eyes have not left you.

“Yeah you look awesome, I think you should get it” he speaks reassuringly.

“Holy fuck!” you exclaim then quickly cover your mouth, you didn't mean to be that loud. The man laughs and steps closer to you as you look at the price tag hanging from the hem of the dress.

“This fuckin thing is 400$?! Jesus christ , I could make my own dress for 50$” you joke. Your shoulders sink, you really wanted this dress. The man laughs loudly.

“You're funny,” he chimes. He looks at your face, painted with disappointment.

“Hey I could - I could buy it for you” he offers. You look at him in awe.

“Its…….400 dollars….Why would you do that for me? You dont have to do that its just a stupid dress im sure I can find a cheaper one” You respond waving his idea away with your hand.

“It's ok , I can afford it, I want you to have it” he insists. You don't know what to say , you just look at him.

“On one condition though” he adds with a smile.

“Yeah what?” you ask.

“You have to take me as your date” he says shyly

———————————————————————

Jake:

Ok just breathe, you're fine , everythings fine. You tell yourself as your heart pounds in your chest. You were at an amusement park and about to go on the biggest roller coaster they had due to a dare from your friends, who were watching safely from the ground. Some random man is sitting in the seat beside you as two people had to share a cart. He didn't seem nervous and you wished you could be as relaxed as him.

“Hey are you alright?” he asks , as if he knew you were thinking about him.

“Oh um yeah im-im ok” you lied your mouth going dry. He smiles at you and watches you for a moment.

“Are you though? Cuz your leg is shaking pretty vigorously there” he points out, his eyes falling to your body. You hadn't even noticed you were bouncing your leg anxiously.

You stop.

“I'm sorry , I'm just a bit nervous I suppose, I'm kind of scared of roller coasters” you explain with a sheepish smile.

“Kinda weird to go on the biggest one here then right?” he responds you chuckle at his remark.

“Yeah my friends dared me, they are down there” you say pointing in their direction. He looks down and sees a small group of people looking up at you. The wind blew and you looked up at the clouds in search of comfort and solace.

“Well My Name is Jake, and i've been on this ride a million times, you're going to be ok” He says with a reassuring tone of voice. He could sense how scared you actually were even though you tried your hardest to shrug it off.

“Thanks Jake…..that helps. I’m (y/n) by the way its nice to meet you.” you reply smiling, feeling slightly better. Jake was a good distraction, he was gorgeous, chestnut brown hair that fell to his broad shoulders. Enticing eyes that made you wanna know more about him and his voice was sweet and soothing. You couldn't help but wonder what he thought about you. The feeling of the ride jolting under you ripped you from your daydream like state.

“Oh fuck” you mutter , feeling your heart rate rise again. Jake smiles and grabs your hand gently.

“It's gonna be ok” he smiles

———————————————————————

Sam:

Finally it was time to go to study hall, your last class of the day. You used this class to get your assignments from the day done. You headed to your desk but something catches your eye on your way. You look down at another student , you wracked your brain trying to remember his name. He was reading one of your all time favorite books, which surprised you , most people hadn’t even heard of the book before. You had to say something.

“Hey! I love that book” you say with a smile. The guy looks up at you with an equally excited facial expression.

“Oh yeah , it’s a great book, this is like the third time I’ve read it” he replies. You laugh, and nod.

“Yeah it’s such an awesome book, I’ve never met another person that likes it” you say.

“Sorry what was your name again?” You add.

“I’m Sam” he smiles.

“I’m (y/n)” you introduce , you both look in each other’s eyes and appreciate that moment. His eyes glinted with interest making you blush.

“Uh well maybe we could get together some time and talk about the book” he says stuttering slightly, moving his hair from his face gracefully, you watched it as it fell to his sides like a curtain.

“That would be awesome, here I’ll give you my number” you say quickly fishing for a piece of paper from your back pack. You jot your number down in neat hand writing and handed it to him. He looked so happy, he thanks you as he takes the paper.

“Alright class sit down” the teacher announces as she enters the room. You look to her and then back down to Sam before gesturing towards your seat, Sam nods and winks at you before you take your seat.

———————————————————————-

Josh:

Your eyes scanned the shelves looking for Almond flour, you were going to try your hand at making home made macarons. You loved to bake , you did it whenever you had free time and you never made the same thing twice. You smile when your eyes land on the last bag of almond flour , you happily pluck it from the shelf until you see the ridiculous price tag. Why is healthy shit so expensive? You shook your head at the thought and made your way down the aisle. You looked up seconds before a man was about to bump into you, neither of you saw each other.

“Oh sorry” you say taking a step to your right , you laugh as he takes a step to his left thus getting in your way again.

“Oops” he chimes stepping to the other side the same time as you.

“I’ll go left you go right” you giggle , he thinks to himself , eyes looking up to the ceiling before taking a step in the wrong direction.

“No your other right” you laugh. He smiles “sorry” he says palming his forehead.

“No worries” you reply stepping around him.

“Oh hey!” He calls a second later.

“I think you dropped this” he adds holding out a package of frosting bags.

“Oh thanks” you smile grabbing them from him, his eyes fall to your basket of items.

“Oh thanks” you smile grabbing them from him, his eyes fall to your basket of items. You tuck your hair behind your ears and look down at your basket as well.

“Uh well I like to bake yeah - I- I don’t know if I would go as far as to say I’m a baker” you chuckle.

“Do you bake a lot?” He asks simply.

You nod.

“Well that sounds like a baker to me” he smiles with a curt nod.

“Yeah good point , you got me there” you reply , you could feel your cheeks warming , you were blushing but you weren’t sure why.

“Are you a baker as well?” You ask.

“Oh no I should not be allowed near an oven” he jokes “I’m just lost, you wouldn’t happen to know where the Oreos are would you?” He asks gesturing towards the store.

“Oh yeah they’re in Aisle 12” you chime pointing in the general direction.

“Cool thanks” he smiles.

“Ya know I actually have an event coming up for a friend, I don’t know if maybe you’d wanna bake a cake for him? It’s for his birthday , we’re having a surprise party ” he explains somewhat haphazardly.

“I’d pay you” he adds.

Sold.

“Sure I’d love to!-“ you begin.

“Ok cool, so should we like exchange info?” He asks , his pointer finger gesturing from him to you.

“Yeah that’s a good idea , that way we can over specific details like size and flavor of the cake” you nod as he pulls his phone out. You recite your number to him and his eyes flicker up to you

“What’s your name?” He asks softly.

“Oh sorry! I’m (y/n)” you answer.

“(Y/n) cool ,I’m Josh” he smiles.

Josh.

Later you’re in your apartment, the delicate scent of raspberry macarons fills the air as they cool on your counter.

Your phone beeps in your pocket and you slip it out.

“Hey it’s Josh from the baking aisle, there is no event. I think you’re super pretty...and that’s why I wanted your number but I wasn’t sure how to ask. I hope you aren’t mad , I just didn’t know how to ask” You read the message and smile, and honestly you were kind of relived he was fibbing. Catering events made you nervous.

“Thanks Josh! Of course I’m not mad, I totally understand being nervous about stuff like that” you reply.

“Oh good, if I ever do need a cake you’ll be the first person I ask” he texts back , you smile.

“Ya know I actually just took some macarons out of the oven, wanna come over and be my taste tester?” You send back. Your heart warms at the thought of making a new friend , and a cute one at that.

#greta van fleet #gvf #preferences #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #sam kiszka #danny wagner #danny gvf #jake gvf #josh gvf #sam gvf

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lurafita · 5 years

Text

SIM Tony x Peter

So, I got this prompt/ask a while ago, about writing a Superior Iron Man x Peter piece, and I was all for it.

There are already a lot of pretty great drabbles and fics with this pairings here on tumblr (and a few on AO3), and I was fretting about what kind of content I could add to that.

I thought about maybe just a quick little PWP, you know, to scratch the itch; but then I remembered: I'm not very good with writing smut.

Then I thought: 'You know... maybe I could get this rolling differently.... In the fics I read, Peter comes across a Tony from (usually) another universe who already IS his superior/evil self. Their relationship comes after that, and is usually more sexual than emotional (at least from SIM's part) and with lots of kink. Which is fine, don't get me wrong, I crave those on occasion. But while those fics catered greatly to my love for possessive/dominant characters, my 'feelings-kink' has gotten a little neglected.

So I thought:

Maaaaaybe I could do a story where Peter and Tony know and like/love each other before Tony turns Superior.

And maaaaaaaybe Tony turns Superior because of his feelings for Peter.

And maaaaaaaaaaaaaybe someone would like to read that?

This doesn't play in any specific universe, but rather uses parts of different story lines and circumstances. You are free to picture which ever Spidey you like for it!

If Love Be My Poison (I Wish For No Cure)

Tony Stark had tried therapy exactly once. After Afghanistan, on the insistence of Pepper, Rhodey and Jarvis. He had sat through three hours of talking with a man that somehow reminded him of the owl in Winnie Pooh.

When the Owl-man had diagnosed him with an inferiority complex (among other things), Tony had stood up, snorted derisively, and left.

When he told Rhodey about Owl-man's diagnosis, his friend had laughed, clapped him on the shoulder, and said

“Well, even experts get it wrong sometimes. Just try finding someone else, Tones.”

Tony had nodded, though he had never dared to speak to another therapist again.

Because Owl-man had been far too close for comfort with his assessment.

Tony Stark: billionaire, genius, playboy, philanthropist.

An inferiority complex?

The thought was laughable.

True, though.

What else could all his posturing be about, if not that?

It was just so unbearably cliched. The man who had never gotten the recognition he so craved from his father as a child, now shouted out his accomplishment into the world.

See me! See what I have created! Acknowledge my work!

Being brought up in the spotlight didn't magically gift you with the kind of charm and charisma needed to handle reporters or please a crowd of fans and admirers. It was a skill that Tony had taught himself.

'The grand life of an eccentric billionaire, read all about Tony Stark's latest big bash!'

Envy me!

'The truth is... I am Iron Man.'

Adore me!

'Watch our exclusive interview with genius Tony Stark!'

Look at me!

It was such a pathetic cliche.

'Big man in a suit of armor. Take that away and what is left?'

But it was true.

And it was never as glaringly obvious as now.

“Why not?” He asked, vulnerability clear in his voice, and he hated himself for it. “Why can't you give this a chance? Give us a chance? I love you. That's not something I say idly, or to a lot of people. I. Love. You. And I know you feel the same, Peter. Don't even try to deny it. We both know you are the worst liar ever.”

Deep brown eyes looked at him with a touch of true devastation.

“I love you.”

And Tony latched onto those words like a drowning man would grasp at a straw.

“Then let's do this. Move into the tower with me. Stay with me. Be with me. Let's be one of those disgustingly affectionate couples who can't keep their hands off each other, even when in public. Especially when in public.”

He clasped one of the younger man's hands in both of his own, squeezing gently, tracing one thumb along the unnaturally soft skin. Peter averted his eyes, but he squeezed back and for a moment, Tony hoped. But life was never this easy.

“It's because I love you that I can't be with you. It's too dangerous.”

The argument wasn't an unexpected one, and Tony wasn't about to give up so easily.

“Peter, sweetheart. My life has been dangerous from the moment I was born. Do you know how many times I have been kidnapped?”

His tone was light, encouraging, playful even. He didn't mind making a joke of his own past traumas, if only it would give him the chance of convincing the man he loved.

But Peter didn't work this way.

“Then that's all the more reason why I shouldn't paint any additional targets on your back.”

“Peter-” But he didn't get to finish, as the brunette abruptly turned to him, eyes shining with unshed tears.

“Everyone,- every single person I loved has died because of it. Or ended up becoming a super villain. Because of me.”

“That's not true.” The older man tried to correct, to reassure, but Peter was becoming agitated.

“It is! The very first and best friend I made when I was a child, turned into the Green Goblin because of me! My first girlfriend was killed, because she was trying to help me! The guy I thought of as an older brother was possessed by an alien symbiote, because I wasn't strong enough to handle Venom!”

Tony shook his head vehemently.

“Peter, that's not-”

But Peter was on a roll now, getting up from the billionaire's couch they had been sitting on and pacing in front of it.

“Doctor Conners would have never turned into the Lizard, if I hadn't helped him work out my father's notes.”

Tony got up as well.

“You were trying to help him to develop a formular that let people regrow limbs. Him getting impatient and injecting himself with a barely tested compound isn't on you!”

But the younger hero hardly listened.

“Otto wouldn't have gone after Mary Jane if he hadn't felt betrayed by me!”

“Octavius willfully ignored your warnings about the dangers of hooking up the exoskeleton directly to his brain. Harry went behind everyone's back to get his hands on the serum that turned him into the Goblin. And so far no one has been able to 'handle' Venom. The fact that you are able to fight that parasite off, is not an indicator that it was in any way your fault that it possessed someone else! Non of all this was your fault!”

He had his hands on Peter's (deceptively narrow) shoulders, head tilted down to look the slightly shorter man in the eyes. Eyes that were red and sad and angry and defeated looking.

“If it wasn't my fault, then how come the people I love always end up suffering?”

And for a moment, staring into those brown eyes he loved, that were brimming with tears and pain, Tony hadn't known what to say. His silence was apparently all the answer Peter needed.

An agonized and bitter smile was formed by the lips that the older man had dreamed about kissing, fantasized of ravishing, as Peter spoke.

“You are a good man, Tony. You are,... wonderful. Smart, funny, caring... You like hiding yourself behind layers upon layers of sarcasm and pretentiousness, but I know you. You are possibly everything I ever dreamed of.”

And there it was. This was the chance he needed, the moment for the genius to swoop in and turn this whole, horrible situation around and proof to Peter that they had a chance. That it would work.

But, again, he was just a second too late.

“You are a fantastic hero, with or without the suit. But technology, even yours, isn't infallible. And without it, … without it, you are vulnerable.”

Tony knew where this was going, and he had to stop it. His hands traveled upwards, cradling the beloved face between them, directing Peter to look right at him.

“Pete, I'm not helpless. I'm not... I'm so sorry about Gwen and MJ and Brock, but I'm not like them, okay? There are plenty of people that I have made enemies of on my own. Who have tried to kill me. Non have succeeded yet. And yours won't either. Venom is in a Shield containment unit. They have managed to suppress the Lizard. Doc Ock is in Rykers. Harry may be at large right now, but we will get him, too..”

Peter was weakly shaking his head, but he made no move to shake off Tony's hands.

“We still haven't found a way to destroy Venom. It will get out again, it always does. Same with Otto. Conners biology will acclimate to the suppressants again, and the Lizard will take over once more. Harry will come back when I least expect him, when I start to feel contend, just like he always does. Your enemies are powerful and dangerous, but when it comes down to it, they are more focused on working on their own agenda. Mine...Mine are obsessed. They don't want to simply kill me. They want to hurt me. And they will use you to do it.”

Peter spoke the words with such certainty, with such helplessness, it broke Tony's heart.

“Pete. Sweetheart. Look at me. I'm not going to let them. I won't leave you.”

Brown eyes glimmered in the dim lighting of the room, full lips trembling and Tony wanted nothing more right then, than to kiss them. He closed his eyes, and slowly leaned down to where he was still holding Peter's face gently. Only to come to an abrupt stop, when Peter placed a hand in the middle of his chest, right above his arc reactor. The younger man looked broken, but non the less determined.

“You can't promise that.”

Then the slighter hero slipped out of Tony's hold, and hurried out of the room.

'Big man in a suit of armor. Take that away and what is left?'

Tony Stark having an inferiority complex? Preposterous!

'Technology, even yours, isn't infallible. And without the suit, you are vulnerable.'

Genius, billionaire, super hero. Inferior? Ridiculous!

'Big man in a suit of armor. Take that away, and what is left?'

….

… Nothing.

___________________________________________________

Okay, hope you liked it so far.

A second part will follow that focuses on Tony’s descent and transformation into Superior.

I’m really unsure about what tags to put here, Please tell me if I missed any!

#starker #fanfic #superior iron man #spider-man #peter parker #tony stark #mixed up canon #canon divergent #Dark!Tony #love #obsession #turning to the dark side #Tony turns superior out of love #ask #prompt #adult!peter #still a bit of an age gap though #op lurafita

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ask-codeearasure · 4 years

Text

Questions and Answers

Question: Why did you combine Dreamtale and Mafiatale together for Dream and Nightmare?

Answer:

I did so because I thought it would be fun. I like to go with the most wacky and zany ideas because to me it’s fun. Think of Treasure Planet.

How can they breathe in space? Why are the spaceships like boats? I DON’T KNOW BUT IT’S FUN AND COOL AND FUCKING AMAZING!

I love that fun shit. Fuck serious shit, let me have my fun. But, also I like to add serious tones to it but the thing is, is that too much seriousness is not fun. Think of Teen Titans, it was a funny as shit show but also had serious undertones that would seemingly come up out of nowhere but it did so in a way that let the viewer take them seriously because of how they complimented the comedy. Angst and drama works in small bursts, but you can never have enough comedy. If you don’t let yourself have fun, you are going to lose interest in your own creation and no one wants that.

Also there was a deeper reason for this. A good while ago (fuck my memory) several people were having very serious issues with a guy called ManiaKnight, and his treatment towards people during these event things where he’d roleplay as several characters, such as Ink, Error and push narratives, however he’d use the characters to gaslight and manipulate those who had joined the events.

He made it all super dark, serious and edgy in the worst way possible and people wanted him to lighten it up via Dream. However for some reason Mania hated Dream and so out of spite he made Dream an Amalgamation, and thus normal Dream became a symbol of “Fuck you Mania” for the people who were tired if Mania’s bullshit.

A former friend of mine had vented to me about this so I designed Mafia!Dream to help encourage their “rebellion”. One thing led to another and here I am! We’ve been having fun with the characters since then.

Question: Is Error obsessed with Hazbin Hotel?

Answer:

No, I made a few Hazbin Hotel jokes in OOC because I fucking loved the pilot and couldn’t help myself because I’m a massive goober. Also FYI. Error is actually obsessed with Gambling, and doesn’t know Novella exists nor would he care that it exists.

My version of Error is not much like normal Error.

Question: Why’d you make Dream and Nightmare hoomans?? Nightmare looks like a onceler >:(

Answer:

The AU that my Nightmare and Dream are from requires them to go to the human world, so they need a human disguise. Thus they use illusions to make them look human. They’re not actually humans. They’re monsters with illusion magic. The humans in their AU don’t know that Monsters exist.

Let me elaborate, sorry for Spoilers.

Nightmare and Dream’s AU is extremely different from Dreamtale.

Mafia!Dreamtale is an AU where Dream and Nightmare are from two different realms of reality that they’re named after. The Nightmare Realm and the Dream Realm. Monsters are from these realms and consume desires and only feel certain emotions.

Dream Realm: They only feel Positive Emotions and eat Positive Desires

Nightmare Realm: They only feel Negative Emotions and eat Negative Desires.

They need to go to the human realm in order to collect these desires because the human realm is in the beginning of an Industrial Revolution and sleep has been practically outlawed because people are more concerned with progressing technology. In this AU Sleep Medicine and Alcohol are outlawed and give you time in prison if you’re caught with them.

Nightmare and Dream both make and sell these products. Nightmare sells alcohol, Dream sells Sleep Medication. Which is why they need to go to the human world and why they have the illusions.

Question: Are you tryna butcher every AU sans you come across gurl

Answer:

If by “butcher” you mean switch shit up and have fun. Then yes. Yes I am. I’m not trying to be accurate to the source material. You assuming that I’m trying to stay accurate to the source material is just that. An assumption. Not the truth.

Aren’t you tired of the same ideas over and over and over and over again? Let’s get extreme! Let’s go ham! LETS FUCKING GO! FUCK, KINGDOME HEARTS!TALE LETS GO -- okay but in all seriousness. Let’s look at all the AUs that we have. Where are the more zany ones? Where are some that just go weird and shit comes from seemingly left field before doing a nose dive into weirder territory? Why not have fun?

Fuck, I’ve seen Harry Potter meets My Little Pony fanfictions that are twice as fun than some of the AUs that I’ve seen.

Outertale is just Undertale but in Space! Can we go a little bit harder on the concept? Let’s push it just a little bit further. What else can we do with this concept? Are there space theme magic? What about when the monster’s die? Do they become dust? Stardust? Why not push the concept a bit further? What if they went supernova? What about that? Can we go further or are you just content with Undertale but in space? What if we made the story take place in the year 3000?

(Note: I don’t know much about Outertale. I only used it as an example.)

Question: Why is your Horror based on Japanese mythology?

Answer:

I wanted him to be different and I like going all out with my characters. I like basing them off of different things. I wanted my versions of the characters to be different. I didn’t want to be blatantly ripping off others. I know the originals are great! But I didn’t want to feel like I was ripping them off and claiming them as my own. But I also wanted to show off some individuality. I wanted to deviate for the sake of fun. I wanted to go all out. There is nothing wrong with changing things up.

Horror is actually mainly based off of the Blood Moon skins from League of Legends. But it got my interest in Japanese mythology going again so I decided to mix that in there BUT that is also because The Blood Moon Skins are based in Ionia a region on Runeterra (the world of League of Legends) that is based off of Japan and… well.. Asia in general. So I got those two things and mixed them together and started to switch shit up. Change the Blood Moon idea into something new! I want to make things different.

Question: Is Dust based off of Assassin’s Creed???

Answer:

I have never played Assassin’s Creed. The closest thing to it I’ve played is League of Legends’ Pyke, and Ekko; and with Watch_Dogs (the second one) but I haven’t gotten past the first level because I had to focus on my college education and I haven’t had the time to play through it.

Dust is based off of Alice in Wonderland, Alice: Through the Looking Glass, American McGee’s Alice, Alice: the Madness Returns, Dr. Spencer Ried from Criminal Minds, Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bamg Theory, Ekko the Boy Who Shattered Time from League of Legends, Visual Kei, and the image in this Youtube video: https://youtu.be/jJ0qDlyrGow

It’s weird that you came to such a conclusion because everyone else keeps telling me he looks like he’s from Kingdom Hearts, which is hilarious! Dear god, I don’t see either! Someone needs to break this down to me because I must be fucking blind.

(Ps. Please send the music artists in that video love, adoration, support, and money. They’re amazing and need more of everything positive.)

Question: Killer looks like a walking JoJo reference!!! Is he??

Answer:

Nope. I didn’t even watch Jojo when I designed him -- which reminds me I still need to binge the show. Killer is actually based off of Tanya Degurechaff from Saga of Tanya the Evil, and Edward Elric from FullMetal Alchemist and FullMetal Alchemist: Brotherhood.

His story will barely even reflect this. And I know what you’re thinking “So original/sarcasm” well there is no such thing as originality. As an artist (which writing even falls under). Everything is inspired and based on something.

To quote Picasso “Good artists copy, Great artists steal”. Now this can be taken in a horrible way but it’s talking about technique. You can steal a technique and those techniques are something you are even taught in art school. You can take inspirations and those inspirations are dependent on how they are used. In this context, the technique is a trope. Tropes are dependent on how they are used and executed. And yes I might switch up Killer’s design a bit, but at the same time I like his design but I don’t think I will change it right now, I need to think about it, because now that I think about it, it’s not much of a military uniform but that’s because of his jacket. I will have to add a bit more detail to his uniform. Also the shadow behind him is a visual signifier of the Chara part of his soul (he absorbed Chara’s Soul but her soul is still active) which is awake and can still talk, but it's more like she is talking through him a voice emanating from his soul -- perhaps that’s why he looks so… Jojo-y?... I’m going to have to go through his design with a fine tooth comb to switch it up a little more.

“Question:” WHY IS BERRY TOO CUTE AND TOO MUCH OF A BABIE!! I HATE THOSE KIND OF BERRIES AND I WANNA MURDER THAT THING FGHJKL!!!!!!111!!

Answer:

That isn’t my problem bud. I don’t cater to anyone. If you think he’s too cute, that’s not my problem. Hell I made him that way because my version of Berry -- Cyber!Berry -- is literally a 3 year old who is super intelligent but still a child. I’m not sure if you’ve ever seen a 3 year old, but they look so fucking cute. But if you don’t vibe with cute things… that’s a you thing, not a me thing.

It’s your problem. Not mine. You don’t have to like my designs.

“Question:” i hate ur characters, they made me cry because of how badly designed they are hurrrr durrrrr

Answer:

Not my problem, I’m not catering to anyone. You hating my characters doesn’t mean shit. After all, let's point out the obvious… it’s just your opinion. You don’t have to like my designs. They weren’t made specifically for you. They were made for fun not for you. I’m not going to cater to you. Do yourself a favor and go away and find something you do like,or find the best discount at Macy’s, or send your favorite creator love, because those things are better than wasting your time and more importantly mine and my friends’. If you wish to stay strictly to bitch, bemoan and troll, please cry directly into my coffee mug, your salty tears give me life.

#faq post #qna #Code: Erasure

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killjoy-loveit · 5 years

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Flower Emergency

A/N: I would like to clarify that everything written in this story is complete fiction and isn’t to be taken as a true portrayal of reality. Apparently Astro can make me write fluff... MJ made my heart soft, what can I say? Also, it probably doesn’t help that I’ve watched the new M/V upwards of thirty times...

Summary: A gloomy day is made better by a flower shop.

Word Count: 1,270

Genre: Fluff

This morning was unusual, what with fog making it difficult to see five feet in front of you. But as they say the show must go on, or rather, in your case, work must go on. Which is why you were rushing to a new flower shop you’d been recommended, rather than being curled up in bed with a warm cup of tea like you’d very much prefer. Even now you could smell the smooth citrus tones of your favorite brand of tea just by thinking of it. That kind of warmth and relaxation is exactly what such a gloomy day such as this calls for. Maybe tonight, after you cross off all the items on your list, you can curl up and enjoy the tea as you want.

Through the fog, a mere few feet away, you could make out the sign of the flower shop. Your feet sped up accordingly, the inside of the building would come as a welcome reprieve. The heels you wore clicked on the tile as you stepped through the door. A small, tinkling bell signaled your entrance to the store. Immediately, you could tell why this shop came highly recommended. Flowers ranging from dahlia’s to iris’ to lilies and so much more spanned the area. The bright colors standing out in your vision, each one calling out to you: rich blues, pale pastels, vibrant purples, and deep magentas.

Your mind went into overdrive, working through different combinations of the flowers that would match the party you were planning. Delphinium and foxglove might make a nice pairing, but so could glory of the snow and heliotrope. With such an overload your mind even starting to think of different combinations that didn’t match the vibe of the party. It was easy to do in a place like this, it seemed like the store housed flowers you didn’t even know the names of.

“Can I help you?” A voice came from the left of you, snapping you from the whirlwind of arrangements in your head.

A bright smile shone on your face. “Yes, I believe you can!” You replied, spinning to face the person.

In front of you stood a man, his hair was of a lighter sandy shade and just a tad curly. He had on a dark brown sweater, jeans, and a light green apron. The nametag on his apron read “MJ”, and when you looked back up at his face he was giving you this cheerful grin that had your heart skip a beat.

“That’s great, were you looking for something specific?”

You giggled softly. “You could say that.”

Track of time was lost rather easily, the two of you getting caught up in creating the perfect arrangement within the designated budget. MJ was extremely helpful, running around picking out different flowers and putting them together. Every so often he’d crack a joke and make himself laugh, which in turn made you laugh even if you didn’t find the joke particularly funny. There was just something about his personality, he seemed to ooze a kind of cheerfulness that made you want to smile and have fun with him. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d had fun arranging flowers for a party like this. In fact, you couldn’t recall the last time the job you once loved gave you this much joy.

“Well, I think I found a new place to get all my flowers from.” You say with a smile.

“Here, let me get you a business card.” MJ states, rushing off.

You watch as he maneuvers through the shop, and the clutter the two of you made while planning the arrangement. A minute after he disappears in to the back of the store he returns with his hand held up and a triumphant grin on his face.

“Found it! Here, let me just add something.” He pauses, grabbing a pen and jotting something down on the back of the card.

“Thanks.” You murmur as he hands you the card. “Um, well, I guess this is my cue. I really have to get at least a couple more things done for this party today or my boss will have my head.”

“Bye, be careful out there and have a good day!”

The rest of the day went by rather uneventful. You managed to get a caterer, get some decorations to help the design process, and get a list of dressmakers. This party is particularly important, seeing as it’s your boss’ sister’s eighteenth birthday. Apparently it’s tradition in their family to make a huge affair out of turning eighteen. She’d never let you live it down if her sister’s party wasn’t perfect. It was still four months away, so with the rate at which you were going you were ahead of schedule.

Finally you were at home, freshly changed into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. A hot mug of citrus tea was sat in front of you, the steam billowing up and hitting your face. In the background you had some modern instrumental music playing, aiding in your relaxation. To you, it was important to have an unwinding ritual, as a means to destress from the day. Tea, music, and a good book were the main parts of that ritual. Though as you were reading, a line mentioning flowers sent your mind flying back to the flower shop you’d visited earlier. And in particular, to a certain man that worked there.

These thoughts had you darting from your chair to find the card he’d given you. It was slipped in a small pocket in your purse, and you freed it from its confines eagerly. The script on the front of the card was elegant, managing to make the address and phone number appear regal. You clutched the card to your chest as your eyes fell shut, recalling the smile that had been almost ever-present on MJ’s face throughout your interaction. Wait, didn’t he write something on the back of the card? Eyes snapping open, you flipped the card over and sure enough there was something there.

Here’s my personal number in case you have a flower emergency, call anytime- MJ

You looked over at the clock sitting on your kitchen counter, the blinking numbers told you it was only a quarter past nine. Did he mean only flower emergencies? Or was it just a smooth way of him giving you his number? Either way, it might be too late to call him. A lot of people don’t like to be disturbed late at night. Though is nine even technically late at night? Before you knew what you were doing, his number was typed in your phone and you’d hit call. The line was ringing. Crap, it was ringing. Briefly you considered hanging up as your heart hammered in your chest, but before you could decide what to do, he picked up.

“Hello?”

You froze for a split second, trying to formulate something to say. Anything.

“Hello?” He repeated, sounding confused.

“H-hi, I was at your store earlier, you um… Gave me a card.”

“Oh, it’s you! I was wondering if you’d call.”

“Yeah, well you did say if I had a flower emergency I could call you.” You whispered.

He chuckled at your words. “I did say that.”

“Well, um, I have a flower emergency.”

“You do?”

“Yeah…” You trailed off, mind racing. “I was just wondering, I mean, well… I don’t know as much about flowers as you, maybe you could teach me sometime?”

The smile in his tone was audible. “I would love to teach you more about flowers.”

#astro #astro scenarios #astro mj #astro mj scenarios #astro fanfic #astro mj fanfic #astro fluff #astro mj fluff

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ask-anyone-from-the-tick · 5 years

Text

Bellow the cut are my spoilery thoughts after watching season 2 of the Tick

I’m kind of glad Dot turned out to have a super power because being the only hero with no powers is sort of Arthur’s whole thing. I also like that she didn’t outshine Overkill and just step over him, but still looks up to him a bit and appreciates his approval. They feel like equals, and he’s still an awkward turtle socially.

THEY WERE SO CUDDLY AND AWKWARD ON THE COUCH, Overkill is def the kind of guy who can’t move if there’s a pet on his lap. He’s so soft I can’t...

I LOVE that we get to see more of Joan and her relationship to her family, she’s awesome and I love and support her. She’s just doing her best, and I hope those lobster babies come to visit.

Superian and Larry’s relationship continues to baffle me just a bit. Larry seems to just be a willing servant to cater to his whims I guess. I kinda hoped they were more buddy buddy than that. Apparently it makes Superian feel better to toss him way up and catch him lawl

The way Hobbs reacted when Tick broke the arm wrestling machine thing makes me wonder if Tick is actually the strongest superhero in the world, maybe second only to Superian ??? Or at least the strongest ever registered with AEGIS.

I really, REALLY like Sage. He’s fantastic. He’s also really attractive, is it just me? DAT VOICE THO. [take me on a wild nipple ride! jk omg I’m sorry]

That twin woman who was impressed with Arthur’s nerdy organization came off as REALLY OBVIOUSLY flirting with him, and his reaction was to just shrug it off like he wasn’t in to her, even though she was gorgeous, and Tick immediately picked up on it that she was flirting and got DEFENSIVE AS HELL like she was taking Arthur away and I just-- that’s pretty gay guys. That’s really... wow. And then she comes back and continues to hit on Arthur and he never once acts like he’s in to her, I don’t... I don’t know what to say but if Arthur suddenly starts pining over her in season 3 out of no where I’m gonna kms [not because he’s not gay but because it’s pretty clear he’s not interested in this woman. Don’t establish this and then force romance after we’ve seen there’s none.] Also when Arthur was picking out fancy clothes Tick had REALLY specific fashion descriptions and opinions on what looked good on him. He was like enjoying Arthur modeling clothes ajdlfdjas

Someone needs to draw Overkill being lovingly rescued by dolphins STAT

I honestly, unironically, think Edgelord’s entire look is cool and he’s very handsome. I think he looks like if Johnny Depp and Adam Driver had a baby.

SUPERIAN FEARS THE TUMBLRS. We’re his kryptonite.

Dangerboat... plane... whatever he is, kinda deserved a little more attention toward the last half of the season. The episode centered around him was the most emotional and it brought everyone together more, I really dug that. It made me cry. ALSO WE STAN MICHAEL, HE WAS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD. I’m so proud of Arthur for seeing Dangerboat more as a person and making an effort to connect to him as a friend. <3 good job Arthur-- at the same time--

I HATE they way Arthur acted like Dot has a specific thing she should or shouldn’t be that was out of character. It’s like the writers wanted the female character to undergo some sort of oppression to rise up against, some form of misogyny from her male family member that she had to point out. You shouldn’t have to tear down a good character because he’s male, to make the female look good. If misogyny was gonna come out of Arthur, let it come out another way other than “this isn’t want you’re supposed to do” like mother fucker, she’s been taking care of you your whole life, she’s done martial arts training, she’s a paramedic, she is way more qualified than you. He’s the last person to talk that way to anyone and it’s pissing me the fuck off. He’s the one struggling with mental illness and no phyical ability to fight anyone, it makes no sense.

Arthur’s actor Griffin Newman, he just does such a fantastic job. The whole undercover scene was so perfectly on pitch, like... just the right level of second hand embarrassment and pride came outta me. He was so close to blowing it because he’s an anxious person by nature, but he pulled it off and came off more as just an awkward criminal with tons of money that was just believably nerdy. I loved it, it was so funny. Please give him all the awards. And that scene where Tick is on one side of Lint, way too close to her, and Arthur is on the other, and they just work her forking nerves was so hysterical. I died. I think they need to play up that comedic chemistry more often because Tick and Arthur bounce off each other really well when they’re not busy trying to solve serious problems.

Ok so the whole human furniture thing caught my eye immediately. The pose we are first introduced to is an infamaously disturbing pose by a real life serial killer who ate people and posed their bodies in weird positions and used them for sex and I forget what else. Anyway I tried to brush that off as coincidence, but then later on Dot and Overkill go to where they think this Duke guy’s lair is, and his house looks exactly like John Podesta’s house that had a statue of that EXACT same serial killer’s victim in that pose, and podesta’s walls were covered in creepy pedo art of little girls and drowning women. And the walls of Duke’s lair were covered in creepy human furniture art. I mean there are all kinds of parodies this season that are in your face, but I don’t think anyone who didn’t follow pizzagate carefully would catch this one.

Speaking of parodies OMFG I lost it when Superian reenacted that Superman scene where he’s like “Can you read my mind?” as he’s dragging the screaming guy across the night sky.

Ugh, I’m so sad that Tick and Arthur don’t get to keep those precious baby lobsters, and where did they get all the cute toys?? I wanna think Joan picked those up for them. Kawaii lobster voice: “Joaaan!” Tick is such a good dad... A family can be a giant Tick man, a moth boy, a hobo, a mimaw, and a bunch of singing lobsters. "SHE'S THE MOTHER OF OUR CHILDREN!" Tick drinks respect woman lobster mom juice.

I think I don’t know what to make of the reverse Green Goblin twist going on with Ms. Lint. The creepy voice is telling her to become a hero I guess, but not really? I think the joke is we think it’s telling her to be a hero, but really it’s teaching her to be a better villain LMAO

I’m glad kevin has a power and he was welcomed to come help even before said power was revealed.-- woah wait where tf is Karamozov?? I gotta tweet his actor he loves this show and he wasn’t in this season ???

I don’t blame Dot for being upset they want to defrost The Terror, but at the same time due process is a thing. I don’t know how that would work in a society full of super powers though. Because the moment you defrost him he’s going to find a way to escape. He’s the oldest, and the worst super villain of all time. This is why I’m ok with the death penalty and killing villains lol

I was expecting Walter to be some sort of MK Ultra sleeper agent, but the plot twist was, that’s what Overkill would become I guess. And Lobstercules. OH BTW I think she’s voiced by the same actress who played Captain Liberty in the old Tick sitcom! “Walter isn’t Walter? My feet don’t feel so good.” Aw Tick

Ty Rathbone drinks respect mothers juice.

Acting agent commander doctor agent Hobbs, honestly I suspected he was the main villain like the moment he was headed toward Lobstercules because something about the lighting and the camera work seemed to telegraph that.

I bet the reason Ty Rathbone feeds his black hole heart monster mice, is because it requires frequent blood sacrifice and that's the smallest sacrifice he can think of that he can quickly just put in there and placate it and go on with his day. I don’t know if he’ll be season 3′s villain or if it’s the aliens that just came back to reclaim Superian.

Which btw, I called that shit from season 1 episode 1. Superian showed up crash landing inside Big Bismuth which is the only thing that could trap him. He was a prisoner, probably because he did some bad shit, and he told Arthur he helps humanity because he just wants to be a good person. Like he wasn’t one before and now he wants to try to be one.

I want to talk about these, nearly involuntary dance parties Overkill rewards himself with... but I uh... I still can’t compute that that’s actual canon. That that’s a thing Overkill and Dangerboat enjoy together and he... he can’t seem to control himself when the music plays... And also that Dot AND Overkill both know how to floss dance... I just... wow...

Oh and that hug with Overkill made me an emotional mess, he just... he really needed that, thank you Dot.

This concludes my rant and ramble.

#the tick #the tick s2 spoilers #the tick 2017 #season 2 #ooc #thoughts

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needsmoresarcasm · 6 years

Text

A Review of Crazy Rich Asians Before Seeing Crazy Rich Asians

And several years ago, she had been e-mailed a humorous list entitled ‘Twenty Ways You Can Tell You Have Asian Parents.’ Number one on the list: Your parents never, ever call you ‘just to say hello.’ She didn’t get many of the jokes on the list, since her own experience growing up had been entirely different.

That’s the passage that sold me on Crazy Rich Asians. I know, it’s no “Life lilted to the sounds of her soliloquy, skipping across lily pads, seeking to fill her soul with elusive validity” or whatever nonsense collection of pretty sounding words sells people on books these days. That’s all to say, for me, the thrill of Crazy Rich Asians does not rest in sparkling prose but in its revolutionary ordinariness.

You see, in that passage, Rachel, a first generation Chinese American, is reflecting on the differences between herself and other Asian Americans, as a result of considering her differences with Nick, her Chinese Singaporean boyfriend. A character in a story saying “I’m not like all the other [girls/boys/teens/football players/handsome men named Chris in a comic-book based superhero movie]” is hardly new ground. But an Asian American character specifically contemplating her differences from other Asian and Asian American characters? I feel pretty comfortable betting that you can’t even name another instance of it. Because that would require at least two Asian American or Asian characters, and then a recognition that those characters did not encompass the entire experience of all Asian Americans.

I’m confident making that bet because there are so few mainstream stories that include enough Asians to make that opportunity possible. Only 11 percent of network TV shows in 2015 even had more than one Asian actor in its main cast. There have only ever been three network sitcoms featuring an Asian American family. Ever. There have been that many network sitcoms featuring a group of predominantly white friends with the word “Friends” in the title in the last decade. And that’s not even including “Friends”! (Best Friends Forever, Friends with Better Lives, and Friends with Benefits, in case anyone was wondering. Yes, I watched every episode of them all, in case anyone was wondering again.) And TV is the medium where Asian actors are doing the best. Want to know how many major studio films featured an Asian actor in the leading role in 2015? Zero. None. In 2015, only 3.9 percent of characters were Asian, the same as in 2007, despite the fact that Asians are the fastest growing demographic group in the US.

That’s hardly shocking, I hope, because we’ve all been outraged about whitewashing for like a solid two years now. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know that I need to rehash it. But, for the sake of propriety, let’s just see how many movie characters were whitewashed in say… the last ten years: Allison Ng in Aloha (Emma Stone), Mindy Park in The Martian (Mackenzie Davis), The Ancient One in Doctor Strange (Tilda Swinton), Light Yagami (nee Turner???) in Death Note (Nat Wolff), Motoko Kusanagi in Ghost in the Shell (Scarlett Johansson), Khan in Star Trek: Into Darkness (Benedict Cumberbatch), Hae-Joo Chang in Cloud Atlas (Jim Sturgess), Boardman Mephi in Cloud Atlas (Hugo Weaving), the Archivist in Cloud Atlas (James D’Arcy), Aang in Avatar: The Last Airbender (Noah Ringer), Lena in Annihilation (Natalie Portman), Goku in Dragonball Evolution (Justin Chatwin), Keiji Kiriya in Edge of Tomorrow (Tom Cruise), Kyo Kusanagi in The King of Fighters (Sean Faris), everyone in 21, and everyone in Speed Racer. In the last ten years. And that’s not even counting the characters who were not necessarily whitewashed, but were still inexplicably white: The Last Samurai, The Great Wall, the random white person POV in the Bruce Lee biopic Birth of the Dragon, those seven seconds on the Internet when the Mulan script had a white dude. I guess what I’m saying is, thanks Ed Skrein for opting out of Hellboy.

And so, Crazy Rich Asians is revolutionary. Sure, its satirization of class is nothing that Pride and Prejudice hasn’t done. And it’s got a Game of Thrones convoluted web of familial relations. And a Tolkein-esque love of a tangential backstory for a tertiary character (no one ever needs to know anything about Bernard Tai). But it’s not a bunch of white people in Regency era England or Westeros or Middle Earth. It’s a bunch of Asian people in the 21st century. And so when Rachel says she doesn’t identify with a Buzzfeed list, I not only get the reference, I feel it. It’s a mundane aside that feels written for me--not written for an Asian audience generally, but written for me specifically. It’s the kind of representation you only get when identity assumes the role of a character’s foundation, not a character’s personality: when you can no longer win a game of Taboo by giving the hint “the Asian one.”

It’s the type of representation that allows me to feel no pause about decrying how Eddie should just be written out of Fresh Off the Boat (send him off to college, already) because that show still has the rest of the Huang family. The Fresh Off the Boat gag about not knowing the dishwasher was more than a drying rack? That’s the hardest I’ve laughed at a TV show in ages, as a person who hadn’t run a dishwasher until he was 24, despite having grown up with one in the house. The extended bit about having to prepare for Asian glow? Still funny, but I’ll die of alcohol poisoning before there are any signs that I’m visibly drunk. When every joke is from the perspective of an Asian American family, I don’t feel lost when a few aren’t for me.

I love Fresh Off the Boat because it’s a great family sitcom. It’s funny and heartwarming and totally accessible. And as a network sitcom entering its fifth season, that’s all it needs to be. Because if you’re looking for a different flavor of representation on TV? Try Master of None or Kim’s Convenience. Or The Good Place, in case you identify with a sweet, dumb molotov cocktail or a fancy British giraffe. Or Superstore, for either sass or sadness personified. There might not be a buffet of TV sitcom representation, but at least the prix fixe menu has some decent options.

And books are much the same. Crazy Rich Asians (and then China Rich Girlfriend… and then Rich People Problems) is fun, pop spectacle. It’s propulsive, with drama escalating through multiple storylines until they can’t help but burst into each other. It’s a great beach read. It’s a story you could live tweet. But you’d be disappointed if you were looking to read a rumination on identity and place in America or scrolls of lofty prose. The great thing about books, though, is that there are so many of them. So if you want those things? You could probably find it somewhere.

I don’t know that I realized how truly powerful it was to feel like something was crafted just for you until devouring Chemistry by Weike Wang. Chemistry is about an Asian American PhD student who leaves her PhD program in part because she feels like she lacks the motivation to dedicate her life to answering single research questions. She’s frustrated by lab work, by the unpredictability of scientific research. When she leaves her program, she tutors kids in science - and she so clearly loves science, as she peppers scientific trivia throughout the narrative. Her voice is deadpan and her thinking analytical. Switch some pronouns around, and I’m pretty sure I just wrote an autobiography circa 2012.

It’s hard to describe just how much feeling that catered to entirely changes the power of a piece of art. Honestly, it’s not something I’ve had much occasion to think of. Of course, Chemistry is great for so many more reasons. The writing is breathtaking in its economy. As an author, it feels like Wang can take the same five words and rearrange them into the world’s best joke and the world’s saddest tragedy. Every observation feels elemental - like chemistry, a fundamental truth of this world that Wang has just discovered. And as any good scientist, Wang has published those truths for the benefit of the public.

Celeste Ng has a similar knack for observation that’s on full display in Little Fires Everywhere. Now, Little Fires Everywhere is not primarily about Asian American characters. The only prominent Asian character does alight the most dramatic narrative in the book - a custody battle smoked in class and race wars. Still, I can’t say I particularly identify with the character, a Chinese immigrant so impoverished she leaves her child on a doorstep. But that’s not to say I don’t identify with the book. Because Little Fires Everywhere is a book about white identity, written from the outside looking in. Set in a midwest town in the 90s, race smolders in the background. Instead of merely being the default setting, the characters’ whiteness is a clear choice. It’s on full display. Much as it’s impossible to not notice the Asianness of a Mr. Miyagi, it’s impossible not to see the Richardsons’ every move as coded with whiteness.

And that perspective - the one that notices when things are particularly white - is something I can identify with. Little Fires is much more subtle about noticing whiteness than I am though. Where I muttered “this is some white nonsense” when a bar trivia category was “songs with the world ‘sail,’” Ng has the McCulloughs promise to feed a child Chinese food to connect her with her culture. Or has Lexie, whose boyfriend is black, declare that it’s so great that no one sees race in their town. Or has Mrs. Richardson feel entitled to barrel headfirst into affairs she has no business being part of. It’s in the claustrophobia that builds from the deliberate confines of the setting: a utopic, white-picket fenced community decidedly apart from the less desirable fringes of the town. A subtly observed us vs. them, where the central characters are almost certainly the “them.” In its hyper-awareness of whiteness, Little Fires gives its reader a sense of what every person of color lives through.

For me, Little Fires Everywhere and Chemistry and Crazy Rich Asians and Fresh Off the Boat are excellent forms of representation, even as they’re all incredibly different. And I am so grateful that all of these things exist. They’re great as independent works of art. And they’re even better for me, because I get to have the joy of being on the inside of the inside jokes.

But still. Not a single character in any of the works I’ve referenced is Japanese American. Not a single character in any of those works is a fourth generation Asian American. But I don’t blame those works for that. Those works are at least giving me something I recognize - an outsider's perspective on whiteness, a former PhD candidate, an exasperation with Buzzfeed lists, a family that doesn’t use their dishwasher. I would just like more. And when it comes to movies, I would just like any. Crazy Rich Asians is at least something. And all I’m asking for is something. And then, well, and then I’d like more something.

Because I am so glad that a story exists where an Asian person sees-and then rejects-a list of items that attempts to encompass every Asian American. Oh and as a last note? My parents really don’t ever call me “just to say hello.”

#crazy rich asians #little fires everywhere #fresh off the boat #chemistry

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