#just the opposite

[tresdem]

Man, you know, respect those who are like: I want to have the fic in my head, I just don't want to write it. I just want it written. And facetious are not, it's fine, it's cool, your mood is your mood but, man...

I love the writing part. Even when I'm struggling. I wouldn't give up this struggle for the world because I discover so many things through the process. How I direct the words and characters and motivations. How I surprise myself and depress myself and find things in me that I didn't even know it was there. For me, having it all out in one go with no input just feels like, to me, missing the ride.

#writing #fanfic #just sharon thoughts #and I never see memes like this #just the opposite #which you know #mood

[thenotoriousscuttlecliff]

Sorry, but having Zuko actually fight back against Ozai during their Agni Kai is just wrong. He was a child, only 13 at the time, afraid to fight his own father and was mutilated as punishment, because Ozai saw Zuko's begging and unwillingness to fight as unforgiveable weakness.

The Angi Kai isn't meant to be a showcase of Zuko's fighting potential (that's what the Zhao fight is for), but to show the utter cruelty of Ozai.

#avatar #atla #avatar the last airbender #netflix avatar #zuko #fire lord ozai #i just do not get so many of the changes this show makes #a lot of them just feel like changes for changes sake #so they can say this is what makes their version different #others feel like a clumsy attempt to make their version more adult and complex #but really just do the opposite

[pillowprincessvarric]

Fandom will continue to suck until we can get large numbers of gay men intensely and passionately invested in femslash. Only then will the scene become bearable and good.

#half joking. i was just thinking about how 'lesbian who is into yaoi'' is a widely recognized phenomenon but the opposite isnt #surely something can be done about this. i want to see the gay guy fanyuri.

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

I love how on Tumblr, "media literacy" has become "Um, just because someone writes about this doesn't mean they're endorsing this. I hate all these media puritans ruining everything."

I'm sad to inform you that knowing when and whether an author is endorsing something, implying something, saying something, is also part of media literacy. Knowing when they are doing this and when they're not is part of media literacy. Assuming that no author has ever endorsed a bad thing is how you fall for proper gander. It's not media literacy to always assume that nobody ever has agreed with the morally reprehensible ideas in their work.

Sometimes, authors are endorsing something, and you need to be aware when that happens, and you also need to be aware when you're doing it as an author. All media isn't horny dubcon fanfic where you and the author know it's problematic IRL but you get off to it in the privacy of your brain. Sometimes very smart people can convince you of something that'll hurt others in the real world. Sometimes very dumb people will romanticize something without realizing they're doing it and you'll be caught up in it without realizing that you are.

Being aware of this is also media literacy. Being aware of the narrative tools used to affect your thinking is media literacy. Deciding on your own whether you agree with an author or not is media literacy. Enjoying characters doing bad things and allowing authors to create flawed or cruel characters for the sake of a story is perfectly fine, but it is not the same as being media literate. Being smug about how you never think an author has bad intentions tells me you're edgy, not that you're media literate. You can't use one rule to apply to all media. That's not how media literacy works. Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Aheem heem. Anyway.

#anyway this is just more of that lefty shit where 'well i can't be racist because i'm gay!' #'well i can't be media illiterate because i love villains!' #not how that works babes #'well I KNOW bad from good so i can't be affected by media!' #'everyone else also knows bad from good and defines it the exact way i do!' #'so if i think this is bad then the author must also think this is bad!' #i have bad news .... #also how do you know bad from good? who taught you that? hmm? #did you fall out of the womb knowing? or did you pick up some things on the way here? #'i just know' no you don't! that's what i'm saying! #assuming one thing is always true is the opposite of being a conscious consumer of media soz #assuming someone thinks and knows the exact same shit you think and know is not media literacy!!

[huang-er-jiejie]

i. i just realised something about the kiss.

the way when aziraphale puts both of his hands on crowley's back, you can see them kinda shift so aziraphale isn't leaning. he held onto crowley for stability, and leaned in. pushed closer to him. he leaned forward. anyone ever says he didn't want the kiss im going to hunt you down because HE HELD CLOSE!!! HE KISSED BACK!!!!

EDIT: also im like WELL aware he kissed back i was even when i first watched it like its not a big revelation, its just that SOME people☠️ on TIKTOK☠️ KEEP SAYING HE WAS DISGUSTED BY THE KISS???? like i swear some people are watching a different show entirely

#HE KISSED BACK. ANYONE SAYS OTHERWISE I SWEAR TO GOD. #HE WANTS THE KISS!! ITS JUST THAT A PART OF HIM FEELS BAD ABOUT IT! #HE FEELS BAD FOR WANTING IT #even if they spent so long dismantling his belief of 'we're on opposite sides' #hes just always going to feel that way deep down #he wants the kiss. its just that why did it have to happen that way. #good omens #gos2 spoilers #aziraphale #crowley #anthony j crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #azirafell #good omens 2 #'i forgive you' maybe in the way that the kiss can be seen as a temptation #like in the garden of eden #but crowley is the apple. he is the forbidden fruit

[the-worms-in-your-bones]

The thing about doctor who is that every episode is simultaneously the best and worst episode in the show and you can’t trust anyone who tells you it’s one or the other

#you just have to figure that stuff out for yourself #like yeah there are definitely episodes that are widely like or hated but I definitely also know people who very much have the opposite #opinion to the majority in those cases #doctor who

[buggachat]

does anyone else form their headcanons of marinette and adrien largely on the basis of "they have to be opposite each other"? like, creation and destruction, yin and yang, etc. like Marinette being late all the time and sleeping through her alarms? so she's probably a deep sleeper? So that means, by the laws of my lovesquare headcanons according to my brain, Adrien has to be a light sleeper. Marinette is a chaotic creative person and I can imagine her just having so much STUFF all around and living in organized chaos. so therefore Adrien likes his spaces neat and clear. (also something something creation and clutter vs destruction and emptiness) you know??? ???? ? adrien and marinette headcanons just cant be independent of each other in my brain. they are always intrinsically linked

#not to say they have to have opposite Opinions or Values or anything. just. personality traits and quirks #the more meaningless the headcanon the mroe they have to be opposite in me brain #adrien is a morning person so marinette is not. adrien picks at his food when stressed so marinette stress eats. #adrien drinks his coffee sweet in my brain so therefore marinette drinks hers unsweetened. this is the law #marinette tosses and turns at night so adrien sleeps stiff as a board #YOU KNOW!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!? not necessarily having all the same headcanons as me but the gist of being opposites

[nicandragon]

🫵 leg liker

#sorry I flipped my canvas too much so kiki's hair is backwards. she just chose to part it on the opposite side today dw about it #my art #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #namari #kiki floke #kikimari

[chloesimaginationthings]

Your Cassidy design gives me life, exactly how I envisioned her.

I’m so glad y’all liked my Cassidy design!!

#ask reply #THIS IS high praise btw im super flattered 💜💜 #I actually love her look too #of course I tried to match the popular fan look of her #but with my own little twists #I actually based her heavily off of ‘Cassie’ #cause I think Cassie’s name is a clear reference to Cassidy #so I wanted their designs to be similar but opposite #so they both have twin tails Cassidy has em high and Cassie has em low #Cassidy sweater is less poofy as Cassie’s #Cassie is more happy smiley and Cassidy has more of a scowl #my favourite design quirk is her ghostly hair #just the way it’s always floating upwards so so cool #designing the ghost kids with their own unique features like this is so cool #been having a blast with it! #hopefully I’ll draw the rest of the ghost kids soon 💜

[justl-12]

Never knew i needed a pearl and lizzie duo until now

I hope there will be more of these two

#pearlescentmoon #ldshadowlady #secret life #life series #trafficblr #do they have a duo name?? #i just love the fact that joel lost to pearl in a contest to win lizzies heart #slsmp pearl is like the opposite to dl pearl #my art

[liquidstar]

look this site really is awful for ppl with OCD so i just wanna reassure anyone that you are not Tainted Forever for consuming a piece of media with questionable content. the fact that youre able to recognize it speaks to your critical thinking skills, which is good, certain depictions should be critiqued. but you dont need to ruminate on it to the point where you begin to feel guilty for simply witnessing gross or creepy writing choices. you dont have to vindicate yourself to the fictional tumblr discourser inside your head, saying that youre now a bad person bc you watched the wrong anime. your actual response to it still matters of course, but thats that and this is this. just seeing it is neutral, you didnt commit a thought crime. its literally fine.

IF YOU ARE USING THIS POST TO ONLY FURTHER YOUR STUPID PEDANTIC BLACK-AND-WHITE DISCOURSE TO GET A "GOCHA" OVER THE OTHER SIDE YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. DON'T USE OUR DISORDER TO VINDICATE YOUR BEHAVIOR. THOUGHT CRIMES ARENT REAL BUT ACTIONS STILL MATTER. PEOPLE WITH OCD ARE CAPABLE OF THINKING CRITICALLY ABOUT OUR ACTIONS AND RESPONSES, EVEN WITH INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS AND RUMINATIONS. TREATING US AS IF WE CANNOT, ONLY TO FORCE US TO USE YOUR STRINGENT UNNUANCED DISCOURSE OPINIONS ABOUT "PURITY CULTURE" (TRIGGERING TO THOSE WITH OCD) AS THE ONLY REASONABLE GUIDE DOES MORE TO EXACERBATE OUR OBSESSIONS THAN HELP US. YOU ARE THE ISSUE AS WELL. YOU ARE ALSO THE TUMBLR DISCOURSER INSIDE OUR HEADS. DO NOT USE US FOR YOUR DISCOURSE. WE ARE PEOPLE, NOT HYPOTHETICALS TO USE TO EXPLAIN IF YOUR FROZEN INCEST FANFICTION IS OKAY OR NOT. TREATING US AS IF WE CANNOT AUTONOMOUSLY HAVE OUR OWN OPINIONS ON WHEN MEDIA IS TANGIBLY HARMFUL IS ABLEIST. FORCING US TO ABIDE BY YOUR IN-GROUP'S SET OF UNEQUIVOCAL MORALS IS ABLEIST. ACTING AS THOUGH THE ONLY SOLUTION FOR US IS MINDLESS MEDIA CONSUMPTION IN WHICH "EVERY DEPICTION OF XYZ, NO MATTER HOW POORLY DONE OR EXPLOITATIVE, IS ALWAYS OKAY AND IF YOU DISAGREE YOURE ACTUALLY AN EVIL 'ANTI'" IS ABLEIST. THOSE ARE THE SAME BLACK-AND-WHITE MORALS THAT SEND US INTO OBSESSIVE SPIKES, BUT FLIPPED. A SET OF MORALS IN WHICH QUESTIONING THE IMPACT OF A PIECE OF WORK MAKES YOU AN "EVIL CONSERVATIVE PURITAN "ANTI"" DOES NOT HELP MORAL OCD.

YOU ARE THE DAMN TUMBLR DISCOUERSERS MAKING THIS SHIT WORSE FOR US! YOURE THE EXACT SAME BUT WITH FLIPPED BUZZWORDS! YOU'RE MISSING THE WHOLE DAMN POINT!

#the fictional tumblr discourser inside your head is like the opposite of critical thinking its just extremes #blocking that helps you form better thoughts and come to a better understanding of why said content can be harmful in said depiction etc et #and to be clear shutting off all critical thoughts is not the solution either bc then you end up with.... Those People #the ones who jack off to lolicon on ao3 and think its the same artistically as lolita x_x #this post is not a vindication for that sort of thing. or say like actively supporting an openly bigoted series or author #those are different things because they are actual choices and actions. you chose to respond that way #thats what i mean when i say your actual response still matters. as in your actions surrounding it

[woof-squiggles]

nitten adoption day!

(psst, you can fill out an adoption form here)

#salem offers art #hilda #hilda netflix #hilda the series #hilda alfur #art #artwork #comic #fanart #illustration #digital art #clip studio #csp #hilda nittens #hilda fanart #> this is my first comic in AWHILE. first comic as in first fully fledged comic #> not just little doodles on ibis paint lol #> also begging of you to ignore the continuity errors if you see them. begging pleading #> and while i thought a long while about the writing i probably wasn’t listening to the correct things when drawing the whole thing out LMAO #> wither storm msm ost. funniest minecraft mods. horror games. really just polar opposite of this comic. oops

[mellovolence]

im actually losing my mind over this screenshot from the football world cup

#death note #light yagami #death note au where light survives and becomes a football coach #but his team literally never lose because he just uses the death note on the opposition

[tumatawa]

I wish she had more scenes... Whateva

#dungeon meshi #rinsha fana #kabru #tumatawart #dont tag as ship #? Do people still use that these days #**SPOILERS in the tags I will ramble a little.** #I like how they have opposite ways of thinking with their shared environment shaping them greatly. I wanted them to talk about it together #Kabru just separates from the group for the rest of the series when the Canaries arrive without any reaction and I was like What... #Maybe briefly entrusting Rin as the party leader since in his eyes she's the most reliable... Having her do things her way. #Not necessarily showing how they fare. Thatd get messy but a slight change in dynamic after they come back together in the finale dinner #Maybe I need to reread I might be missing something u__u

[inkskinned]

but they don't care about the burnout. everyone is burnt out, they tell me. who isn't burnt out!

the good news is they don't say depression is a choice as much anymore, but the symptoms for burn out and depression are so hand-in-hand that they are mirror images of each other. but depression is serious. you're not depressed, you're just whiny. they barely change the script - don't be lazy! burn out is for people with real problems. burn out can be resolved with some fun candles and a day off work. burn out only happens in adults - no kid can be burnt out, after all; they've barely even had a life to live!

do you have a roof over your head and a steady job? you're not burnt out. so what if every night you wake up with a panic attack frothing inside your chest. you're lucky your problems are small. get back into plants or into yoga. shut up about it.

rich people get burnt out and go to fancy places. they get burnt out in their fancy offices with their real-people problems. they get burnt out and hire an assistant to help them never burn out again. you don't have the money to burn out. you don't have the two weeks to recover in a local spa. the job you come back to will still be stressful and hard.

you find yourself often wondering - does nobody remember about the pandemic? it seems almost like a joke or a punchline. being burnt-out was okay "during" the pandemic. now that people are back to ignoring covid, burnout is just-an-excuse again.

you google how to know if it's seasonal affective disorder or burnout. you google how to know if it's anxiety or it's burnout from working. you google how to know if my depression is back or i'm burning out badly.

coming back from burnout just leaves you covered in ashes, not new growth. you struggle to get back basics, and then - you're just supposed to get back up and keep going. every day the amount of tasks you are able to do seems to dwindle even further - where does the time go? why is everything moving so-fast-and-yet-so-slow?

my therapist and i were talking about how many people had latent mental illnesses that were triggered by the pandemic. how depression can be environmental and situational. i am annoyingly logic-driven about my own recovery - i like to be sure i'm working on the "right" thing. i tell her i feel like i'm lying. that it just might be burnout, and i need to stop complaining. she asks me what words come to mind when i think of burning.

oh, i guess i see.

we casually ignore the violence of being left empty.

#employers for 2 weeks during the pandemic: we know it's gonna be so so hard and we're here for you #week 3 day 1: now that we have been nice to you fucking get over it you weakling #do not worry this is not me romantically recalling the ''we're here for u'' overhead announcements #this is the opposite #side note #the new options to post????????? huh #gonna go write something VERY gay just to test it #(eventually. i skipped my meds by accident today so im nowhere)