#not to say they have to have opposite Opinions or Values or anything. just. personality traits and quirks | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

elytrafemme · 1 year

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i remember when klavier split off and how, like, happy we all were. because before him it was just me, dahlia, and nightshade all fighting with each other. like not just mental fighting like physically fighting with each other, my first interaction with nightshade was on a discord call where i had to mute because we were co-hosting and throwing shit and threatening each other. and then klavier comes and he’s an instant ray of sunshine and at the very least, me and dahlia realize that we had a missing piece. and the three of us became so much closer, dahlia and klavier were a little queer for each other and klavier made all these friends and dahlia would front to keep me from having breakdowns, or front to buy clothes, or front to talk to my therapist about us. and klavier would come out and listen to his like 7 hour long playlist. and we were happy because i was like, well, they’re not gonna go. they can’t do that.

and now they’re gone. dahlia last fronted for a life or death situation and then she left and i thought that would mean she’d be around more but, no, that was it. klavier always seems sad or upset with me whenever he fronts. rory and nightshade and cynthia and daisy and all the others i never knew the names of have never come back. the first alter, orchid, she’s never fronted either. not since it was too late. she might have fused with me but it’s hard to say because i haven’t been the same person for longer than two months in a very, very long time.

like is that not all fucking crazy to you? it’s crazy to me. it’s crazy to think that now people are going to say they were never real at all and it’s like no you don’t get it. i hear different languages i don’t speak in my head. i get flashbacks to trauma that isn’t my own. i have headaches that feel like my brain is splitting open that have lasted 5 hours because of non stop switches.

it’s not that they were never here. it’s the opposite.

#don't reblog #nightmare.system #it sucks that i will never believe people when they say they relate to my experiences #because i have gotten dm messages from the most closed off people from strangers even saying they get it #but i don't think anyone understands. because i don't think you can understand something that is nonexistent #to be honest i don't know what reality is anymore. externally or internally. i don't know the reality of my emotions my opinions my anything #and i can think back to all the moments where it should have been obvious #that my brain is just transplanted pieces of dialogue taht other people have said to me #their opinions and their own lives stitched together until it made a person out of me #and maybe that is why it's so deeply fucking upsetting that my alters have gone quiet #because this is the first time in my life that my brain has been 'mine'#and if anything about the way i've acted for months has been obvious it's that i don't know what to do with that #i don't know my age. i don't know who my friends are. i don't know what you think of me. i don't know my values.#i took two tests about my attachment style and i answered the opposite to the same questions on both. within an hour of each other.#and both were honest. but both contradicted. because it is literally impossible for me to believe anything wholly #and that's always been a uniquely me thing. klav tried to get it but he never did. same with the others to a lesser extent #but dahlia was as consistent as most human beings are she had her weaknesses and her contradictions #and she did petty and objectively stupid things while still pretending she was logical #but she was her. and i was fifteen people in a trenchcoat #i don't know why i'm saying all this. i don't know why it matters #i'm just so tired of not being understood. tired of people not trying to understand. and tired of people trying to understand #but never actually getting close.#myself included.

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queerfables · 8 months

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The thing is, Crowley and Aziraphale's problem isn't miscommunication. I'm not the first person to point this out but I see enough posts taking this framing at face value that I feel it's worth saying again.

If Crowley and Aziraphale sat down and talked everything out calmly and rationally without hiding anything and while validating each other's feelings, they would still end up exactly where they are. Because they fundamentally DO NOT AGREE about the problem they're facing or how to address it.

Crowley should have told Aziraphale about apocalypse take two, sure, yeah, but if he had, Aziraphale would have seen it as just another reason to go back to Heaven. He finds out about the second coming and he's horrified but just as resolved in his decision.

Flip side: Aziraphale might have had a hundred good reasons for wanting Crowley to come back with him, none of which boiled down to thinking he was worth less as a demon, but it wouldn't have mattered how eloquently he articulated them. It was always going to be a deal breaker for Crowley.

To be slightly more nuanced about it, there are some things they've been avoiding saying that they really did need to put into words, even though in my opinion they both kind of knew it, already. But the painful fact is that their fight is that in action. Sometimes communicating with someone means exposing the failure points between you (and if you suspect that's going to be the case, that's a very human reason to avoid doing it).

At best, they could maybe have parted with less collateral damage to each other. But the real tragedy of their story is that there was no other way this could have gone. For a long time, their love has been thwarted by the external forces keeping them apart, but also - Aziraphale hasn't Fallen, and Crowley has never expressed any desire to return to Heaven. And just like I think they must have had at least some understanding of the depth of their feelings for each other, I think they must have understood the implications of that too. They're on opposite sides, and even with the danger, it's all very exciting and romantic - until they have to face the fact that the convictions they've held for millennia put them on opposite sides.

So if they're going to move forward together, they can't just talk about it. Crowley's right, actually, they've been talking since before the beginning of time. It isn't enough to understand each other. Together, they're going to have to change. That tentative middle ground between them is going to have to become a place they set down roots, and learn to choose and trust in even when everything else is falling apart.

#good omens #good omens meta #ineffable husbands #fable talks good omens

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gotholdladywithadhd · 1 month

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Unpopular opinion, probably.

So I've read many metas, and thought a lot about it and have come to my own personal conclusion about the final 15.

I'm taking it at face value.

Because it was the most human Crowley and Aziraphale have probably ever been and I think that is at least part of the point. Love makes people stupid and they are navigating a very human thing in very unhuman circumstances, and it's hard enough to do as a human in human circumstances!

I think Aziraphale believed the Metatron about Crowley bc he was expecting the worst when TM mentioned Crowley but instead got the one thing he wanted most (him and Crowley together and safe, not Crowley being an angel. ) Crowley was absolutely the carrot here. (and no I do not think Crowley would have been safe or happy, but that's besides the point.) I can't tell you how many times I've believed patently ridiculous things because I wanted to believe them so badly even though if I was looking at the same situation objectively from an outside POV I would see how ridiculous it was, so I totally get it. This isn't to say I think Azi had a real choice to go to Heaven or not and I think he did understand that as well, but I get the temptation the Metatron threw out to him, I really do.

As for Aziraphale literally saying all the wrong things to try and get Crowley to come with him? Um yeah been there done that too, the nerves take over, the brain shuts off, the mouth goes into autopilot pulling stuff out its ass, and "WITAF did I just say?" happens.

Crowley not taking any of it well and only hearing what he expected to hear (I'm not good enough for you bc I'm a demon and you only really want me if I can be an angel) *and* also being more able to see through heavens bullshit bc he has lived it, and can see it from the outside, *and* all whilst being the most honest and vulnerable he has ever been with Aziraphale in 6,000 plus years (or in fact possibly to anyone, ever. the closest before this admitting he was lonely to Azi during the Job minisode,) *then* hearing what he took to be the same Heaven will save us line from Azi was enough to trigger a massive bout of RSD and a broken heart. Everything was supposed to "vavoom and sorted! " and instead the stupid awning broke and everything went wrong. I think I've said it before that at this point Crowley can't hear anything over the sound of his heart breaking into a million pieces.

That's a whole lot to pack into the brief moments before Azi has to leave with the Metatron (who let's be honest was rushing him before he could change his mind) esp when neither of them are used to discussing their relationship openly. They didn't have time to think, to ask questions, to share information, (like hey guess what really happened to Gabriel?) Crowley tried to communicate as much as he could about his feelings with the kiss but Azi didn't have the time to properly process all that and said the wrong thing again and Crowley was rejected (he thought) again and it all just went so very wrong. You can't fix a 6,000 year relationship in 15 minutes, you just can't no matter what the story books say.

It's about two people wanting the same thing but not being able to get it (yet) because of circumstances and personalities. All of S2 was about them seeming to be closer than ever (and in many ways they were) but really they were opposed at almost every turn. (in RL not the minisodes, those actually showed them working together and coming out okay mostly, if you don't count wee Morag or Crowley getting dragged to hell) The way they both handled the Gabriel situation, how they both worked to solve the mystery, even how they tried to make Nina and Maggie fall in love were all either done alone, or in opposite ways. I've said it before and I'll say it again, as it was pointed out right in ep1, their exactlies aren't the same and until they are, they aren't going to be able to be together. The one time they did work together in the season, they produced a 25 lazuri miracle. That is the point of the final 15, and the whole season 2 in my opinion.

They'll get there in the end though!

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hotdogdynamitezzz · 1 year

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Astrological Hidden Gems

Disclaimer: This won't apply to everyone, astro police plz chill. Just have fun and vibe bitches, and if you don't relate that's totally fine just don't be rude. Comment your experiences down below 👇

Vedic Nakshatra Observations:

Idk much about vedic but I've learnt a little about some nakshatras, bear with me there will be more next time.

🪐 Anuradha Moons & Mercury's can see the dead, they are often familiar with paranormal experiences occuring because being the nakshatra of friendship, gateways, and unity. It's in Scorpio debilitated, which creates a spiritual unity with spirits and occult giving them clear intuition and many otherworldly experiences. They can most likely communicate with ghosts.

🌌 Chitra can be very critical and harsh, more so than most nakshatras. They are ruled by the tiger and are associated with jewels and royalty so their expectations are extremely high. They are the type to call you on your bullshit in front of whoever to assert social dominance in a strategic way. They could have participated in bullying or get into scandals involving their attitude. It's important for them to keep their image though so you won't often see them act out. The OG mean girl nakshatra in my opinion.

Tropical Astrology:

🕊 Scorpio moons aren't the nicest people tbh, in fact most often they're known for being rude or belittling people without even being aware of it. They are ruled by pluto the god of the underworld and traditionally mars the god of war. Putting two and two together you shouldn't expect this water moon sign to be nurturing and caring and that's why the moon falls in scorpio. However, they do care extremely deeply but instead of comforting you they will tell the honest hard truth from their perspective and will think they're always right even when they're not. They can become overly controlling this way and obssess over all your problems for you so set some boundaries. Their advice isn't for everyone.

🌌 I do have to say though, every scorpio moon I've met no matter how many layers or how matured they are. Everytime I've witnessed someone run to them for comfort and tell them personal problems, the scorpio moon will hold this over them as blackmail later or gossip about it to their other close friends. As much as they're secretive with themselves, they sure as hell won't be with you because being ruled by pluto and mars they crave power and feel unsafe if they can't maintain power over others. Therefore, the whole scorpio is so loyal stereotype isn't always true. They can often pose as the opposite sorry.

🪐 Fuckboy aspects are Mars - Jupiter. Every single time I've read a sexually active almost sex addictive with some commitment issues chart. Its always had this aspect, in greek mythology jupiter is associated with zeus and that man got every bitch pregnant like the earth was dying or sum💀 he was horny as hell, polyamourus as hell, and literally couldn't keep his dick out of anything. So honestly in combination with venus or mars aspects, 5th & 8th house jupiter, and jupiter dominant charts. You are looking at a sex addict my friend.

💗 The 4th and 10th house are associated with household names and royalty. Most of the british royals have major 4th & 10th house placements like king charles, queen elizabeth, kate middleton, and so on. Your 4th house is your legacy and household name, and your 10th house rules over what you achieved in this life, and the power you achieve and use over the public. Having planets such as venus in the 4th or 10th house means you are the standard for beauty and could hold power over others with it or in your workplace peoples looks hold authority over you. Celebrities considered the most beautiful will often have their venus in the 4th house.

💡Afflicted 4th - 10th house axis like: Aries in 4th - Libra in 10th, Scorpio in 4th - Taurus in 10th, and Capricorn in 4th - Cancer in 10th denotes the responsibility of building your worth up through the value of you work. This is because no one valued you from birth, these I.C's never experienced encouragement or help from their family, instead most of the time their family was their enemy and they grew with these troubles into adulthood. People with afflicted 4th houses know they don't have anything, their own personal power is stripped from them at birth so they have to gain value from others and power in their career. This is why a lot of afflicted midheavens tend to be famous but come from awful backgrounds or have horrible mental health problems. However, they tend to value people much more strongly, they just to have a dark past and work from the dirt up. Their insecurities most often push them away from achieving their dreams sadly, but once they gain their own self worth you will see them flourish.

🌲 People can bring up the argument that these I.C's could be born into powerful rich families, especially Scorpio & Capricorn I.C's but as kids they still were never valued, only their money and reputation was. Overall, poor or rich the afflicted I.C 's - M.C's axis path in life is to find their own value through their work and gain personal power after. While the Benefic I.C - M.C axis use their own personal power they found through loved ones early on to give value to the work they do.

💗 Pisces are the most manipulative sign, neptune literallycreates illusions so they have the ability to create any confusion or misunderstandingthat will go unnoticed. Most of the time they are unaware they have this power but pisces is related to the higher realm and spiritual power so often times they just seem to KNOW everything about you even if you've never said anything before. They can sense it all unknowingly.

🌌 Scorpio risings are oddly chill and their presence isn't really felt unless they have pluto or mars their chart rulers in the 1st & 10th house. Other than that they're the misunderstood quiet kids with a rbf who are unexpectedly so accepting but you think they're judging the hell outta you lmao

💡 Scorpio risings also tend to be a bit paranoid and overthink everything, being ruled by the water element and mars they're sensitive to any change in their environment and quick to react. The only difference is their reaction is internalized by the water element so they may not lose their cool easily but you can seem them easily annoyed by even the smallest of things. Their habit of overthinking everything can also make them assume the worst in people but they just need to evaluate people before getting close, not the type to chat you up before staring you down.

I actually love Scorpio risings, don't take that the wrong way just explaining their behavior I've noticed

🌲 But those with Pluto in the 1st house- wow their presence most definitely CAN be felt once they decide to speak up. They go unnoticed until they decide to show themselves, then all of a sudden an entire classroom will be sucked into their words as they speak, it's almost hypnotizing like a snake.

🌌 Virgo risings make quick judgements on people but aren't the type to nag, more so secretly set things up for you in advance like appointments, reminders,even your morning coffee. They just know because they can feel the slight changes in you as virgo is associated with health and the body. They're pretty intuitive too just in a physical sense, the type to always get gut feelings about people. You can't play them period, those hard to get mf's lmao

🪐 The most underrated beauty indicator imo are virgo risings and virgo venuses. Virgo risings are the runway models and look nothing like how we stereotype them. They usually have slick thin straight hair, big eyes, and HIGH cheekbones. Their faces are sculpt to perfection in a heavenly angel sense while pisces risings look like dolls and capricorn risings look more intimidating and defined. But seriously virgo rising women are stunning and it's a common placement in models. They also have pouty lips?

🕊 Virgo venuses are gorgeous too but in a girl next door vibe. They are oddly mischievous sometimes which is unexpected but so witty and caring. I kinda hate how to astro community describes them as moms in every single post because I haven't met one virgo placement that actually nags and criticizes people lmao? Virgos are so socially aware they won't do anything that makes them look bad even if they're tempted. But they will try to do everything in their power to help you, they're more action oriented than people think it's just behind the scenes.

💗 Virgo venuses tho will act like they hate you if they have a crush on you and try to get involved in your life or anything you're working on, that's the secret code. They love hiding for some reason, they're just scared to let you see their flaws so they hate having crushes. If you want them to like you, just be funny and talk to them they love funny people because they're ruled by mercury and it stimulates them. Literally say the dumbest funniest shit and they will laugh their ass off, they won't criticize you yet

🌌 Leo risings aren't arrogant or confident, in fact they're the most insecure rising sign I've come across and its because the rising sign shows Leo's ego and heart on display to the public, if they feel as if they're lacking they will overcompensate and try to fake arrogance. They vakue compliments and genuinely kind people so much due to how delicate their public image is and how they feel on the inside, but this is why they always seem to be the best hype people. They just get others insecurities from feeling their own and know how people feel (leo rules over the heart)

🌲 Imo Leos are more individualistic than Aquarius from what I've seen. All fire risings have "I'm different & special" syndrome istg, their need for validation and to be liked IS REAL. If you wanna insult a fire rising especially leo just call them mid, they can't handle it and find it more offensive than cursing at them.

🪐 Aquarius placements believe no one is special because humans are all equal so they are able to dissociate from their egos. This is why they often seem unbothered, cold and sometimes mean. They just didn't grow up with parents who valued their differences and often blend into the community

💡 Uranus doms on the other hand...are like shocwaves, they are the definition of "I'm different" but because they're outcasted so often from being viewed as weird even though they're always 10 steps ahead. But their shocking factor isn't for everyone and they often cause disruptions and accidents without meaning too, it's just their presence and effect ya know. They're seriously hilarious tho

💗 Libra moons aren't people pleasers, they like to start conflict behind the scenes. They just call themselves people pleasers but like to start drama and pin it on someone else...hahaha they can be evil little shits. Their emotions do seem to depend on how much people like them tho, if aomeone dislikes them they will be SO upset because they view it as unfair judgment casted onto them.

🪐 Real talk - Cancer rising women don't get enough credit, they have the same charisma as Leo risings just in a more feminine approachable manner. People find them sooo easy to talk and rant to. They can gain the trust of anyone and have THE BIGGEST eyes ever omg. Girls in particular love being friends with them while guys seem to obsess over them a lottt like a lot. They can attract stalkers just because their moon energy pulls people in it seems and magnetizes them. People become emotionally attached to cancer risings its concerning actually.

🌲 The 8th house shows your DNA regenerated as this is the house of regeneration and blood, so look at your 8th house if you're curious about your future children. The 5th house has to do with YOUR personal childhood and how children perceive you, the 4th house will be your home environment, your moon sign and house placement will indicate how you act as a mom and the home environment you seek to create.

🌌 As someone who had been offered to be in a polyamourus relationship with a girl even though I've never dated before, I have uranus conjunct my descendant in aquarius exactly. I've had more lgtbq+ experience in romance than hetero and I think most with uranus in the 5th, 7th & conjunct venus, ascendant or descendant will relate. I just feel comfier in that environment tbh guys scare me LMAOO

That's all for today, this post was long due and I have a true crime post coming up next cheers 🥂

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cheapshrimpysheep · 11 months

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5 Love Languages

SUMMARY: A person doesn't just have one love language, but these are the ones I think would be the most predominant in each of them. In Ortho's case, at least, this is platonic.

CHARACTERS: All NRC Students

TAGS: Fluf; List

COMMENTS: I already knew this concept, but recently I saw it again and this post crossed my mind. This is just my opinion of course, I'm no expert. I hope you enjoy ;)

CONTEXT: According to Dr. Gary Chapman there are 5 Love Languages:

Acts of Service: For these people, actions speak louder than words. These are nice things you do for your partner that make them feel loved and appreciated.

Giving Gifts: For some people, receiving/giving a heartfelt gift is what makes them feel most loved. Gift-giving indicates love and affection. They treasure not only the gift itself but also the time and effort the gift-giver put into it.

Quality Time: This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. They feel loved if you are present and focused on them when you are together.

Words of Affirmation: This language uses words to affirm other people. It’s about expressing affection through spoken words, praise, or appreciation.

Physical Touch: To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate physical touch. They feel love through physical affection.

Riddle Rosehearts - We even have confirmation of that with what happened to Trey in book 2, for example. He will take care of the people that are important to him.

Deuce Spade - I see him as a guy that would do anything for you. He himself says he's not very smart, so he believes the best he can do is being useful and helpful.

Ruggie Bucchi - He knows he's good at this. I think he's the type of person who would want to be taken care of and that's why he takes care of the people he cares about.

Ortho Shroud - We can see that with his brother Idia. He likes to help the people he likes, both in a good way like helping with something, or mean way like forcing a shut-it to go touch grass.

Trey Clover - One of the examples of this language is offering a home-made sweet. And I see him cook your favourite foods and sweets just to see your appreciative smile.

Azul Ashengrotto - I see him as the kind that spoils his loved one. He knows the value of money and hard work. And what better investment than your happiness?

Kalim Al-Asim - I mean, we kinda already saw this multiple times. He is the kind of giving his loved one everything they ask for, or even what they didn't ask for.

Cater Diamond - He is the terminally online type, let's face it. His phone is part of his Body Renders. So getting offline time with you and for you, that's something special!

Jack Howl - He has already said that he is the “lone wolf” type. So wanting to spend time with someone instead of being alone shows that you are special.

Jamil Viper - He is a busy and stressed person. So making time for you in his rare moments of rest shows effort. And wanting to spend time with you rather than alone shows how much he likes you.

Vil Schoenheit - From book 6: spending so much time talking to Rook without paying attention to the rest. He shows love by taking the time to give you as much attention as you deserve.

Idia Shroud - We can see this with Ortho. He's an introvert shut-it that doesn't like people. So wanting to be with you despite all of it and even play together? You are the exception to his rules.

Malleus Draconia - We can see this. He likes to be with you, talk to you, know from you. He miss you. Any time he has available that he can spend with you, giving you attention, he will.

Silver - We know how hard it is for him not to fall asleep all of a sudden. Taking all that effort just to spend time with you and give you attention shows effort.

Jade Leech - He is a man of words. It's true that he likes to use them to deceive and manipulate others. But he's the completely opposite of someone who would fake an "I love you".

Epel Felmier - I think his acts of service would be more connected to his pride. His words on the other hand, especially when they show appreciation for you, that's how he shows he really likes you.

Rook Hunt - Do I need to explain? We can see this ALL THE TIME! He already said that he never lies about this kind of thing. If he loves you, he'll scream to the world how wonderful you are.

Sebek Zigvolt - We see this with Malleus. His words of admiration are not for everyone. The more he likes someone the more he'll praise them and the louder he will say it.

Ace Trappola - He prefer to use his words to tease you. He could also do acts of service, but I think being comfortable with physical affection is his ultimate act of love.

Leona Kingscholar - He's too lazy for anything else. It's not just anyone who pets his ears and lives to tell about it. Just like is not just anyone he wants to be so close to.

Floyd Leech - He's a man of acts, but not the service ones. We know he likes to squeeze people. Usually in a bad way. But for a loved one, squeezes would be loving hugs with some kisses.

Lilia Vanrouge - He can be good with words. But I think his ultimate show of affection would be hugs and more then that kisses. I think he's the type to do that, but only with special people.

If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

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rubyfunkey · 1 year

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Exactly one person asked me to share my thoughts on Leander so here's all the notes I've been taking and thoughts I've had since playing the demo a billion times (not all of these are polished thoughts some are simply just observations that i think might be important to understanding him)

- Leander seems to value information the most out of all the LIs

- He is the only LI that asks the MC what they think about everyone

- He asks the most questions

- He repays the MC for their information by providing them with room and board

- Leander sways the MC's opinion

- When discussing Vere, no matter what the MC says about him, Leander makes it clear that getting close to Vere is a bad idea, and that he is a very dangerous individual. Notably, he says "-but like any monster, he's dangerous." which seems to conflict with how he views Ais, despite both being monsters.

- When discussing Ais, when the MC mentions that they met him at the Seaspring, Leander chokes on his drink. If the MC states that Ais was upfront, Leander asks if the price of the Seaspring's effects seem worth it, and implies that he views Ais's "red-eyed minions" as another form of pet that Ais keeps. The topic seems to upset him so deeply that he requests a change of subject. If the MC states that Ais was intimidating, his reaction is almost the complete opposite, almost pleasant, and the subject of the Seaspring drops entirely. When asked if Leander is afraid of Ais, he says not at all, and explains that he sees the two of them as rivals. The MC worries if being rivals with a monster is smart, and Leander downplays the seriousness of it, saying that Ais isn't a bad guy. To me, when paired side-by-side, these two interactions read as Leander trying to sway the MC away from the Seaspring, or maybe even Ais himself. His reaction to knowing that the MC is intimidated by Ais is casual and amused, because he doesn't need to say anything else about it; The MC is already scared of Ais. If the MC WASN'T intimidated by Ais when choosing to say the former option, they probably would have been at least a little more apprehensive after seeing Leander's reaction to the Seaspring's effects.

- When discussing Kuras, regardless of what dialogue option the MC chooses, Leander seems to think fondly of him, with the exception of his bedside manner. If the MC chooses to say that Kuras seems like a good person, they will then ask Leander if he believes that Kuras could cure them. When asked this, Leander's face will drop*, and he will pause before responding, saying that Kuras is good, but he's "only a doctor". If the MC states that they found Kuras to be cold, Leander heartily agrees, saying that "he never warns you when something's gonna sting, and he's stingy with the pain medicine too". His response to both options is mostly the same, what caught my eye was his reaction to asking whether or not Kuras could cure us. Maybe he has some bitter experience with the limitations of Kuras's capabilities, or maybe he just doesn't want to entertain the possibility of the MC seeking assistance from someone outside of himself. Considering his response to hearing that you visited the Seaspring while meeting Ais, I'm inclined to believe the latter.

*I’m not sure how reliable the sprite expressions are re: understanding character motivation, but I’m going to use them anyway. With a grain of salt.

- When discussing Mhin, if the MC chooses to say that Mhin seems lonely, Leander states that he believes that Mhin actually prefers things that way, and goes on to say that if Mhin wanted to be our friend, we would know. If the MC chooses to say that they find Mhin to be irritable, Leander simply agrees, saying that even paying Mhin for work can be a struggle. His responses while discussing Mhin aren't as foreboding, but they don't really need to be. Leander seems to shoot down any hope the MC may have of being close to Mhin, and if they don't show interest in befriending Mhin, then there's nothing more to say.

- Leander is "friends" with everyone, but has something to say about each LI that makes them seem unpleasant or even dangerous to be around

- Leander is the only LI whose silhouette is unaltered

- "not all monsters are inhuman"

- When selecting Leander on the Choose Your Fate screen, the description reads:

Leander offers you something that should be impossible: a taste of normalcy free of your curse. As the first person to withstand your touch, he could change your life, but some things are simply too good to be true.

- When discussing the Senobium with Leander, Leander states "things that seem too good to be true are often just that". He then proceeds to offer himself as "something that should be impossible" for the MC, as the Choose Your Fate screen says.

- LEANDER is an ASSHOLE

- During the scene where Leander is asking you to show him the curse, regardless of whether or not you hold back or choose to trust him, he will grab your hand to prevent you from pulling away. IF YOU CHOOSE TO HOLD BACK, his grip is tight, his face falls, he takes a deliberate step closer, and even reaches for the MC's throat causing the player to worry that they've just ruined him and are now going to get choked out for the second time that day as a result... He then smiles and says he's just fine. I've seen a few people stating that they believed this was the curse beginning to take effect before he managed to push it away, but personally, i think he was just being an asshole. Like, some small punishment for you not trusting him like he asked you to. A silly little guy moment. I hope he chokes

- When first mentioning the Senobium to Leander, his face falls, but he doesn't immediately comment, instead he continues to drink, ignoring the fact that his Bloodhounds have begun verbally accosting you. He only speaks up and snaps at them once he notices you're looking. The first couple times I read this part, Leander's response seems uncharacteristically snide in comparison to how he acts for the rest of the demo, which is NOT me saying he's been written inconsistently, it is me saying he is fake as hell. I hate this dude

- He seems genuinely concerned when asking the MC if they're alright after their run-in with the roughneck. When he asks them if they'd like a drink, he orders the same as them regardless of what they choose. He doesn't do this when you first meet him, he orders beer regardless of your choice. I don't know if this is important to my research. Compels me though

- "Acquaintances are merely friends you haven't shared a drink with yet" -Guy That Has No Friends

Here is a small list of things I believe I could confidently conjure some bullshit out of upon further research (or with enough imagination):

- The Bloodhounds' motto (As Above, So Below)

- Leander's earring. Maybe.

- Leander's quote, "They [flowers] don't last long, but they leave an impression"

- Another quote, "There are solutions to every problem, and alternatives to every solution"

- The ouroboros on Leander's Kickstarter charm

- The fact that Leander likes masquerades and hates sleep

Here is a list of things relating to what the other four LIs think about Leander that caught my attention:

- Literally everything that Vere said

- Vere either has history with Leander that neither of them have talked about (unlikely given how "subtle" Leander was about his relations with Mhin), or Vere is able to read Leander in a way that the others either can't or don't make known to the MC. Vere clearly has sharp senses and sees through the MC like they're made of water, I'm not sure if this is just a thing for the MC but it could probably be assumed that he sees things in Leander that we can't.

- Ais' comment about Leander's resolve

- I could pretend like something Mhin said re: Leander interested me, but I don't think there was any deeper context to their words other than the not-at-all-subtle feelings of forced-down affection and open annoyance. Love Mhin though

- My thoughts on what Kuras had to say are similar to Mhin's, he seems to be fond of Leander and didn't have much untoward to say, unless you count what he said about the company that Leander keeps

I have no idea what's going on with this man. I believe that he may be involved in some harmful magick-y malarky that is having unseen and horrific effects, or maybe he's simply a charismatic manipulator whose personality is just as monstrous as his peers. I have silly little theories but I would be very shrimpterested in hearing what other people have to say.

TLDR; there's something WRONG with this man and I will be spending the next two years crafting a version of him in my brain that is almost certainly dead-wrong but goodness won't it be fun

#talk talk talk #touchstarved #genuinely i am bedeviled by him #leander #leander touchstarved

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writing-for-life · 8 months

Text

Nuance in (The Sandman) Fandom

Send me asks about everything Sandman-related!

I thought a lot over the past few days, partly prompted by discourse on here, partly due to a couple of “interesting” asks and messages I received (the type you don’t answer). I *think* they might have been prompted by engaging in discourse on topics like anti-blackness/racism, misogyny/sexism, TERF characters etc in The Sandman.

Fandoms are always getting super sensitive if someone shines a critical lens on their favourite works, authors and characters. So to make this clear (in case it isn’t already obvious from my brain-rot blog):

I love The Sandman. I love Neil Gaiman. I have an extremely soft spot for Dream (and Desire btw, who deserves a lot more character analysis than just being summed up as “villainous, sexy bitch”. One day, perhaps ;)).

I can read The Sandman and just get lost in the story, even after decades and many rereads.

But I can also view it through a critical lens—these things aren’t mutually exclusive.

Not critical enough or too critical?

As fans, we can get trapped in certain thinking patterns, like:

“My blorbo can do no wrong”-syndrome

“Characters with flaws are inherently problematic and imply authorial endorsement of those actions”

“Characterisation and problematic subtext are one and the same” (aka overanalysing and looking for problems where there are none is the death of every story, but failing to see problematic patterns where they are clearly visible is a problem, too).

Don't say anything bad about my favourite character

I think this doesn’t need much further exploration. It’s not my personal way of looking at stories through permanently rose-tinted glasses (I always feel it stalls my experience, but my experience is not everyone else's). Some people prefer that type of escapism, and I’m good with that (although the downside is of course that by not willing to engage with issues, we can unwillingly perpetuate them). Live and let live, ship and let sail. But please, for the love of god: Don’t insult people via their inboxes or messages just because their opinions and preferences don’t align with yours. I’m not going to sugarcoat it or phrase it “nicely”: It’s infantile (and a form of bullying btw), end of.

How can you even like a character who's so horrible? And that author must be equally horrible, too

We have to separate flawed characters, even those who are written to be really problematic, from real-life endorsement of these actions.

Author, narrator and character are three fundamentally different things, and don’t overlap as much as some people seem to think.

We can write vile, despicable characters to make a point (for me, Thessaly was always a prime example for this, and I explained why here). We probably hate them as we write them. I don’t know what else to say, but this facet of writing seems to get more and more lost on people, and it’s a worry. Crying for sanitised characterisation is one step away from censorship. We explore what is problematic about people and humanity through story. That’s how we process and learn. It’s nothing new, but it becomes impossible if we can’t write flawed and even disgusting characters.

Face value…

Since I’m mostly in The Sandman fandom, I often read that its ending is hopeless, and that’s supposedly the entire message.

It is agonisingly sad, yes. But is it truly hopeless? I personally see it as quite the opposite, but of course that’s my opinion, coloured by my life experiences.

I also get that show-only fans often haven’t read the comics, or at least not the whole arc. And as such, their outlook from what they’ve seen so far (and choose to focus on) has to be different by default. I also understand that many people are quite new to the comics, even if they have read them in their entirety. I’ve sat with them for 30 years, and I still find new things on every reread (and I read it more times than anyone should 🙈), and I still don’t feel like I’ve understood it all. Perhaps because I still haven’t fully understood myself (and it’s unlikely I ever will). If there’s one thing The Sandman isn’t, it’s one-dimensional and easy to grasp in its whole depth.

I just wrote a ginormous meta on it, if you’re interested, it’s here:

Subtext, (not so) glorious subtext

This is where it gets complicated:

We shouldn’t mix up characterisation and story subtext. Overanalysing every line to death will always make us find something that’s “problematic”, when it really isn’t in the wider context of the story.

Zooming in is NOT always a good thing. Sometimes, we actually need to zoom out.

But subtext *can be* (accidentally) problematic. Even in stories we love. And none of this negates what I previously wrote.

Stories have real-life implications of sorts, and we need to be able to talk about it. That’s where those slightly flabbergasting, hostile inbox messages come in, and I want to expand on that "topic of contention" a bit:

Neil himself confirmed that the Endless basically warp reality, and that this is why, after Dream’s failed relationship with Nada, many black women in his vicinity suffer terrible fates (Ruby and Carla in particular). And that this spell is only broken when he dies, and that it is the reason why Gwen doesn’t suffer the same fate. And said Gwen then gets used as a plot device to basically absolve Hob (who canonically really is a problematic character, whether show-only fans like it or not) from his slaver past. Once again, very clearly: No one is making this up. Neil confirmed it (for the comics, and that was over 20 years ago. It remains to be seen if his stance has changed as we move into that arc in the TV show).

I don't think it is correct to imply that Dream as a character is racist (I've read that, too) because he logically can’t be. He holds *all* the collective unconscious. He is also, strictly speaking, not white. He is everything and nothing, and he shows up in many different ethnicities throughout the whole arc, depending on who looks at him. But Neil played with a subtext here (reality warping due to a bad relationship which then affects everyone with similar physical traits) that will read very differently to a black person than it reads to a white person, and we have to understand why that is an *extremely* slippery slope.

Plus, we are supposed to see Hob, who *was* a racist at some point (you can’t not be if you’re a slave-trader—it’s impossible by default) as redeemed. And yes, he *does* regret deeply, good for him (and if I were saying this aloud, you would hear the sarcasm in my voice, because it is indeed all about him. We are to sympathise/empathise with him and his character growth while there isn’t much mention of the people he maltreated). But also: it was a black woman who basically forgave him (with dialogue that personally makes me cringe). And that black woman who offers forgiveness is not truly a black woman—she is a character written by a white man. And as much as author and character are not the same (see above), there is an inherent sensitivity in that power imbalance that we can't brush under the carpet.

I don’t think Neil is racist. Probably quite the opposite, and I can even see that his intentions were good from a storytelling point of view. BUT intention and impact are two fundamentally different things, and telling the story this way (comic version) betrays blindspots only white people have. Just like women have blindspots when they tell stories about men, and men have blindspots when they tell stories about women (and there are a few of those in The Sandman, too). And and and…

As storytellers, we can’t always speak from lived experience. It’s impossible. And that also means we occasionally make mistakes that look bad in hindsight, even if our intentions were good.

I guess the proof is in the pudding: What do we do when people who *have* that lived experience tell us it looks bad? If they inform us why it is hurtful, plays into old stereotypes etc?

Are we willing to listen and yield (both are the foundations of allyship btw), or are we insisting that our viewpoint as someone *without* lived experience is right? That lived experience extends to all lived experiences (sex/gender, sexual orientation, age...), and from all we’ve heard from Neil so far, it seems important to him to rewrite what he sees differently today. Whether they’ll always get it right for the show—we’ll see. At the moment, it looks a lot better than in the comics, and certain issues are already being handled with a lot more sensitivity, but a few problems remain.

Pushing back on criticism that comes from people with lived experience is problematic—I’d encourage us to think about what it looks like if a white majority in the fandom is basically saying that the opinions of POC are essentially “overreactions” (and yes, that happened).

It’s complicated. The Sandman was written in a different time, and I think we have to distinguish between things that weren’t really problematic at the time but have aged poorly (again, Thessaly springs to mind, and I have lived experience as a queer person during that time, so I can see it in context while at the same time acknowledging that I would make changes to bring it to the present day), and things that were always a problem due to blindspots. They were a problem in 1990, and if they don’t get changed, they are still a problem today.

This fandom is generally so much more open and nicer than others I know. But that doesn’t mean it’s infallible, because it’s full of humans.

Nuance is sorely needed, in both story interpretation and interaction between said humans.

#fandom discourse #fandom blindspots #sandman meta #sandman spoilers #the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling #nada #morpheus #sandman

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mari-lair · 9 months

Text

That’s a lot of questions, but I’ll try my best to answer them all!

Aoi doesn’t care about an individual perception of her, she genuinely has no interest in a stranger because she always assumes they have bad intentions. They want to hurt her: It does not matter if they are jealous or worship the ground she walks on, they they will hurt her. Which is a sad way to view the world, so she defends herself.

Her attitude is a big wall that says “If I don’t care about you or your opinion, you can’t hurt me”.

She detaches herself from it all, preferring apathy over being vulnerable and opening herself to be hurt. This lack of confrontation, this apparent lack of care (she doesn’t seem to ask even simple things most kids would in her situation “Why are you bullying me?”) makes her feel arrogant, which feeds into people’s bad view of her and prove her trust issues right, which gives her more reasons to believe she is right and became more arrogant.

Akane was always there to stop anyone from going too far when messing with her, so she can look down on others even when they got aggressive without fearing for her health. She can’t be hurt emotionally in her indifference, and she doesn’t care about physical injuries, not when the most she’ll get with Akane around to protect her is a scratch.

So she keeps this up to the point Akane genuinely starts believing she is a tough girl that doesn’t care when people are mean to her.

But she does.

She just pushes it all away, and pretends she is above it all. Growing genuine in her arrogance after training herself to not care all the time, convinced the way the world sees her doesn’t matter, because they don’t matter.

Aoi can’t use this defense when she already cares about someone, but she still naturally assumes the worst of people when it comes to how they view her, so something as small as a petty fight with someone whose views she deeply values can be extremely hurtful.

She is scared.

“Akane hates me, he doesn’t want to be friends anymore, he never liked me in the first place!"

She is also visibly angry: She hates that she cares, she hates that she can’t hide it. Notice how she doesn’t say anything or try to run after Akane. She is trying very hard to convince herself she “Doesn’t care”, she wants so badly to ignore Akane, or to hate him, but she can’t do either, so she defaults to being angry at herself.

The reason Akane finds her crying so cute is not because the tears look cute, is because it shows how much she cares about him. Under all that bravado and arrogance Aoi is a sensitive girl who wants to be loved, and she is very attached to the people she considers friends, she can act tough all she wants but if a loved one says "I hate you" she is so distressed she cries.

Aoi hates how sweet and 'weak' her heart under all her icy defenses. Akane finds it cute.

Akane was her only friend for most of her life, so the person she pays the most attention to, and the one she compares herself to the most is Akane.

Akane is the direct opposite of her: People are unfair to Aoi and she react by closing her heart so no one can hurt her. People are unfair to Akane, making him do annoying work without giving him anything in return, and he reacts by loudly acknowledging people are being unfair instead of bottling up any discomfort, and trying his best anyways instead of running away, keeping his heart open and wearing his emotions and feelings on his sleeves.

Akane doesn’t care about others opinion of him, he’ll swing his bat like a crazy person at school and be rude as fuck to people he just met, but he help other because he wants to help, he is a nice person.

In comparison to Akane, Aoi feels selfish, cruel, and cold. She only ever cares and worries about her close friends because their opinions matter to her.

Akane is someone even she, with all her walls, can’t help but love. And since she is the oppose of him... Is easy to come to the conclusion she is unlovable. She may not care about a stranger calling her a slut, but she can see people don’t like her. Again and again, people always find some problem with her.

She hates herself too, so she is convinced even the people that claim they love her don’t care about her, they just love the sweet personality they come up with after seeing her pretty face, and they’ll hate her when they realize there is more to her than a cutesy smile.

She is unlovable by design, so she assumes the only reason her friends don’t hate her yet, is because they don’t know her true self.

The “cute, sweet, and friendly, popular girl with a pretty face!” is loved. She is Nene’s best friend, the girl all the guys want and all the girls envy.

But Aoi? The arrogant and distant coward that is scared of caring too much? She isn’t loved by anyone. She is sure she will be rejected if she act honest, so she doesn’t even try.

Her life was never a “perfect life”.

Aoi is either by Nene's or Akane’s side. She isn’t close to anyone else.

The manga is in Nene’s point of view so her situation is narrated through rose tinted glasses: Nene lives in a fantasy world where Aoi’s life is perfect since being popular is Nene’s dream, so Aoi’s popular life must be amazing! Right?

Nene can’t break this view. Even when the truth stares her in the face. She does not change her view.

Aoi was a wreck when she tried to apologize, but she does regret trying to kill Nene, she wants to apologize, so she tries her best to get out of her comfort zone and face her biggest fears for Nene: She is willing to have a confrontation instead of hiding

Instead of asking Aoi how she feel, or making any questions about her behavior, Nene immediately dismissed all of Aoi’s actions. Nene doesn’t want to deal with Aoi’s problems, she just wants her popular bubbly friend back.

Their hug in chapter 96 means Nene embraced the “popular girl bff with a pretty face” and rejected Aoi.

Aoi is hurt by this, but she is a coward, so she accepts it, pretending nothing happened. (I go into more detail about Nene’s views, and why Aoi doesn’t open up: Here.)

Despite all her flaws, Aoi is not nearly as bad as she sees herself as, she is mostly insecure, desperate to be loved even when she feel like she doesn’t particularly deserve it.

She is harsh on herself, wanting to keep all her emotions under tight control, but she is sweet to her friends, she genuinely loves them and tries to fight her bad habits. She wants them to be happy!

She’ll get invested in topics she doesn’t personally care about, because she knows Nene likes it, and worry about Akane’s health for the simple reason that she cares, she wants the best for them.

Her sweet side clashes with her bad habit to always assume the worst.

Despite being a sweet girl at heart, caring about others is still very painful. It does not come easy for Aoi, who has trained herself to be isolated from her peers.

She wants her friends to look at her, she wants to be important and be reassured she is loved! But even when she is shown love, she doesn’t believe in it

She convinced herself they don’t care about her, just like all these strangers don’t care about her. And she is arrogant enough to believe she is always right, so if she can’t see this ‘wonderful girl’ Akane sees, it just means Akane is the wrong one. That this isn’t her insecurities talking, Akane is the one lying, he is the one that doesn’t truly love her.

Aoi believes she has misled him just like she had misled Nene, and she wants to talk about it, she wants to be honest, she is so tired of hiding her flaws! But she is too scared to risk losing the love she is given so she will keep hiding, she’ll keep lying to herself that it doesn’t matter, as she has done since she was a small child.

All the things that she claims to hate about Akane, the things that make her feel envious, and lacking in comparison, are also what she wishes she had, things she genuinely admires about him. Things that make him so special and “easy to love” in her eyes.

The idea Akane isn’t lovable does not compute to her. She never says “he is not my type” even when she is neck deep in denial because to Aoi, only an idiot wouldn’t see how lovable Akane is, and Aoi is too arrogant to lower herself to the level of an idiot.

She adores him so much that even when she believes the “cute humble and popular Aoi” is the only Aoi he’ll ever love, she can’t let go. She keeps him at arm's length to not get too attached, but she can’t bring herself to truly run away, to reject him point blank.

She wants him after all, when we get a glimpse of her alone with her defenses down, she melts just from watching him work hard.

She wants them to be closer (unrelated but I can’t get over how she went “watching Akane from my window isn’t enough, let me lean on my balcony, so we are closer.”)

She wants them to be side by side. She wants to accept his confessions. But she is too scared to admit even to herself that she is smitten.

Opening up is hard for her after all, and admitting he cares about him so much? That’s terrifying.

So she runs.

Because if Akane gets too close he might see her flaws, and if her “unlovable self” make him stop loving her, if her flaws make him leave her, she will crumble.

When her usual defense of “I don’t care, you can’t hurt me!” isn’t effective, her second one is to distance herself from what is hurting her so she has some ‘control’ of the situation.

The drug no.6 gave her may have lowered her empathy, but “discarding people so they can’t hurt her” and “running far far away” has always been an itch she had. She always dismisses any stranger from her life, because she doesn't need them. She always runs away when she is hurt.

Is a desire born from the ugliest, most selfish, and insecure parts of her heart, something her kinder and friendlier side never allowed her to act on. But it is a part of her, the one she hates: this is the “unlovable Aoi” to the extreme, fully out.

Is a part she constantly tries to hide, but is always there, as important to her character as her kindness. A part of her that is resentful of the world and wants to stop caring altogether, to hide and hide forever, make it so only she can hurt herself.

She assumes if Nene asks Akane out he’ll accept, despite how much Akane only focuses on her, so she spends a week without going to school to spare herself the pain.

She accepts Akane “have been lying and secretly still likes Lemon” right away because of a silly ghost game, going straight into depressive mode and running away from the pain.

She genuinely wants Akane to be happy, and while she wants him to be happy with her, she hates her possessive nature, using her usual defense mechanism and trying to convince herself she doesn’t care about him, that he is disposable.

She doesn’t want to hurt anyone but she is arrogant, so she doesn’t protest or do anything to show she likes Akane (even when its obvious), going “I hope you’re happy” and running before she says what she really wants and ‘ruin their fun’ and ‘give her feelings away’.

She wants control over the situation: To leave before others ‘inevitably’ leave her. And Akane knows.

But he genuinely like her for who she is, he know how sensitive she is under her smile, so he always run after her to calm her down.

Akane is her biggest weakness and Aoi despises feeling weak and out of control. So her crush on him is a two edge sword.

She genuinely believed Akane doesn’t love her real self, but she also used it as an excuse to have control over her crush, to justify her lack of courage to pursue a relationship.

She is still the same scared kid that cried when Akane said he hates her and got mad at herself for crying about it.

She is too arrogant to admit Akane has control over her feelings even when her composure is shattered.

Part of her genuinely doesn’t want to care, she wants to raise her walls and keep Akane away so he can’t hurt her! That is why she stabbed him and tried to throw him away in the first place.

She tries so hard to use her usual “I don’t care about you, so your opinion can’t hurt me” strategy with him, it's frustrating that it doesn’t work.

She is a flustered mess by the point Akane start gushing about a flaw she hates so much and makes her life difficult.

The reason she is uncomfortable with Akane is because she is uncomfortable when she can’t control her emotions. And Akane? He could make her blush even when his approach was so tactless she dissociated from his shower of neverending compliments, so this assertive approach, practically forcing Aoi to accept that he likes her for who she is and that she can’t run away from his love no matter how hard she tries, it’s as much of a dream (she always wanted to be loved fully) as it is a nightmare (he is too direct! He does not give this poor coward a break!!).

He doesn’t allow her any escape. He is taking her far far away from her comfort zone. Her panic is completely and utterly genuine. Help her cause she does not know what to do.

She isn’t able to give him a verbal answer when Akane asks “Do you like me, even just a little bit?” but Akane never expected an answer.

He only acted so bold in the first place (holding her and kissing her neck) because at this point, he already knows she loves him.

Aoi doesn’t deny his claim, she doesn’t use meaningless excuses like “We can’t marry because that would make me Aoi Aoi” , she just... cling to him, holding on.

Only after she hugs him back (which is a silent “I love you too” in this context) does Akane go for the kiss.

Let's compare when Akane tries to kiss her to a similar scene where she is genuinely uncomfortable so I can show you she is more nervous and flustered by his advances than truly scared or uneasy.

In chapter 24 Hanako possessed Nene and tried to ‘seduce’ Aoi. Aoi had no idea supernaturals exist at the time, and she even goes “Nene-chan...?” to show she fully believes this is Nene, not some ghost possessing her friend.

There is a lot of focus on Nene’s reaction, an attempt to make it comedic, but Aoi is extremely uncomfortable with this forceful behavior.

Aoi likes Nene, Nene is one of the two people she considers a friend, but she hated this: She is sweating, there isn’t even a hint of blush on her face, and she keep her hands far away, having her back on a wall. She likes to hold hands with Nene, comfortable being touchy with her friend, but in this situation, her instinct is to lean away. She doesn’t want it. She is uneasy.

Now let's go back to chapter 69. There are a lot of similarities, both Hanako (who she assume is Nene) and Akane hold her chin before trying to kiss her and both have her backed into a wall. Akane should arguably be worst cause she hasn’t been touchy with him in years while she is constantly holding Nene’s hand, but not only does Aoi blush, she doesn’t try to run from her feelings like usual, she reaches for him, holding on to his jacket.

She isn’t confident, she is sweating and shocked, (which makes sense considering how chaotic her night have been) but there is light in her eyes: She is scared, but she wants to kiss him too.

She have craved to be closer to Akane for ages but this talk didn’t magically heal her issues, no matter how much she dislikes this part of her, she is still an arrogant coward at heart: This kiss is hard for her. Any sort of intimacy is. It goes agaist her instinct to hide and sabotage herself.

That’s why she always blushes hard and gets extremely nervous with Akane when he gets too close. Even when what he is doing isn’t forceful, it feels overwhelming to Aoi.

She needs to hold back the urge to run. She needs to fight the urge to think about the worst and trust him, allow Akane to have sway over her emotions.

She still have a long way to go, and I’m rooting for her.

#tbhk #toilet bound hanako kun #jshk #jibaku shonen hanako kun #aoi akane #akane aoi #nene yashiro #aoiaoi #aoikane #I think i trimmed down enough to take away the 'read more' actually #but still...#long post #i hope this helped cherrynene i swear i did my best #character analysis

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brighteyedbushybrowed · 8 months

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I was hoping you could do Secondo with a s/o who is kinda clingy and talks a lot, but he finds out it’s cause they are constantly talked over and left out of stuff

Secondo being the supportive partner we need and deserve tbh. I made the friend group in this one sound... kinda not nice?? Not bullies or anything like that, but more the kind of friends I've had experience with that I wouldn't want others to have to go through bc it makes you feel like you're invisible

It's something that he finds out pretty quickly after hanging out with you and your friends for the first time

Secondo is incredibly perceptive after all

You'd introduced him to your friend group because yall were gonna go out for a night on the town as it were

It all seemed normal at first. He had no reason to think anything was wrong

You'd always been clingy and very chatty with him, so you clinging to him wasn't out of the ordinary for him and it's something he appreciates in a partner after being used by so many for his power and influence

When you cling to him, it's because you adore him as a person and you have no ulterior motives

What first makes Secondo realise the way you get treated in your friend group is how un-chatty you become in comparison to when it's you and him

And how unphased by this your friends are as they carry on their conversations and having their drinks as if you're not even there

It becomes clear to him when you try to pipe up and everyone talks over you and ignores you mid-conversation that perhaps the reason you don't talk is because they don't let you

After that night, he vows to himself to observe how you are with them in other settings in case it was just a one off

Turns out that no, it was not a one off

You almost shrink in on yourself when you're with your friends and he fucking hates it

So he does the one thing he thinks to do before anything else: he inserts himself in conversations

If he thinks you've got something to say, he'll interject and state his opinion then ask you what you think in a way that makes it very obvious that he wants to hear your opinion and not anyone else's

When someone talks over you, he pointedly clears his throat and then gestures for you to speak up

If they continue to ignore you and talk over you, that's when he starts getting angry

He will call out every single one of your friends for their treatment of you and how much of a polar opposite you are with him in comparison to them

And when he finds out that they've been purposely leaving you out of hang outs and activities?

They will live to regret that

He will give them a dressing down and demand that they treat you far better or stop stringing you along because it's not fair for you to be made to feel so invisible by people who are meant to care about you and value you as a human being

He's your biggest supporter. He fights in your corner. He advocates for you, your opinions, your thoughts, who you are as a person

And he makes it abundantly clear that they need to take a good long look at themselves if they've been deliberately leaving you out and talking over you

Secondo will apologise in private for letting his temper go like that because he doesn't want to make life hard for you

But fuck, he can't watch you become this quiet mouse of a person because of their behaviour and treatment of you when he's seen how chatty and wonderful you are

He jokes that "nobody puts my baby in the corner" and will put music from Dirty Dancing on to get you giggling while he tries to get you to dance with him

If you do stay friends with them and they do genuinely change for the better, he's going to make sure to remind you the first few times you hang out with them alone that your voice and your opinion are just as valuable as theirs and he doesn't want you to extinguish your flame for anyone

If they don't change, I like to think that Secondo would do whatever he can to make you truly see your worth and realise that you deserve to be treated far better. He won't force you to not be friends with them because he's not an asshole, but he does remind you of your worth and that there are going to be people in your life who value you and will treat you the way you deserve to be treated

#secondo #papa emeritus ii #secondo x reader #papa emeritus ii x reader #the band ghost #headcanons #headcanon requests

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bettsfic · 1 year

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writers' block can have many causes, but one of the most common and insidious is what i call the Bad Faith Audience: the mass of anonymous readers in your head who make fun of and belittle your work. the Bad Faith Audience happens when you're staring at a document, you want to write something, but you think to yourself, "who's going to read this? why should i bother?" it also happens when you restrict yourself: "that's a stupid idea. it's bad writing." that's what's so messed up about the Bad Faith Audience--it's an assumption of a homogenous population of people who somehow get to decide what Good Writing is. "this isn't very good," you think to yourself of your own work. but by what standard are you judging yourself? how exactly have you reached that conclusion? you've built up a non-existent audience of people to attempt to appease. the harder you try to appease that Bad Faith Audience, the more you concede your own ideals and flatten your writing to appeal to the largest common denominator.

you stare at a blank document, and before you've even written a word, you've reached the conclusion it's not worth existing. that it won't be good enough based on an unidentifiable standard. it won't be perfect. and then you don't write it.

possibly you think, "but there are all these writers i admire and i'll never be as good as them." there will always be writers you think are better than you. always. that does not invalidate your work. you have improved from where you began and you will continue to improve as long as you keep writing. the author you admire may be on a different mile marker on their own journey, but you'll get there too eventually. or maybe you won't; maybe you'll walk down a different path than them and be able to acknowledge that their voice and aesthetics are just not what you write, and that's okay. you don't have to be able to write everything. you can admire something and not adopt it into your own goals.

here's a thought experiment that's gotten me to close the curtain on the Bad Faith Audience:

don't imagine many readers. imagine one reader. i call this reader Aunt Janet. Aunt Janet can look down on anything, no matter how lauded or famous. van gogh's sunflowers? "it's just flowers. who cares?" the mona lisa? "she's not even smiling."

Aunt Janet looks at your work and says, "what's the point? go do something better with your time." but the thing about Aunt Janet is that she doesn't know anything about writing or art or music, has no knowledge to help frame her understanding of your work, and so why does her opinion matter? you can never make Aunt Janet happy.

so whenever i think, "i'm not good enough," i ask myself, says who? Aunt Janet says who. and Aunt Janet doesn't know jackshit.

now let's look at the other side of the spectrum: the very opposite of Aunt Janet, the reader who just gets you, gets what you're doing, and loves it. i call this person the Ideal Reader. they're in awe of everything you write. they read your work and leave dozens of keysmash comments in the margins. they can't wait to see what you write next.

Aunt Janet doesn't exist and Ideal Reader doesn't exist either, but in the same way you can define Aunt Janet's tastes by reasons she would hate your work, you can define the Ideal Reader by the reasons they would love it.

Ideal Reader is exceptionally well-read in your genre. they know all the tropes and expectations. they know what authors your work is in conversation with. they have an intimate understanding of where your work belongs and the frame of reference necessary to understand the context of your work. all writing has context; when we dislike something, it's usually because we don't understand its context, and if we were to understand it, it may not be for us, but we can at least understand the kind of person who values it. we can fathom its Ideal Reader and avoid becoming Aunt Janets ourselves by acknowledging that every piece of writing can be loved.

whenever you dismiss an idea as ridiculous or stupid, Ideal Reader is there going, "no, wait, i want to read that." when you can't take your work seriously, Ideal Reader is shaking you by the shoulders saying, "it's serious to me."

now imagine Ideal Reader has a platform. they have authority. they're a BNF who recs your fic. they're an acquisitions editor at your dream publisher. they're a producer asking to buy the rights to your manuscript. imagine Ideal Reader is someone who can champion your work and take it to its highest possible place.

Ideal Reader has been in the business a long time. Ideal Reader is confident and doesn't take shit from anybody. Ideal Reader stands up for what they believe in.

imagine bringing Ideal Reader to a party and introducing them to Aunt Janet. Aunt Janet immediately tries to belittle Ideal Reader: "so you publish books, so what, who cares about books?" "so you have a million followers. why don't you do something real with your time?" "you're a producer? go to med school and do something meaningful."

Ideal Reader is amused by Aunt Janet and her gross misperceptions. but then Aunt Janet goes after your work, and that is too far. Ideal Reader points at Aunt Janet and goes, "you have no idea what you're talking about." and they proceed to list off all the things they value about your work.

imagine the things Ideal Reader would say to Aunt Janet, and write out that list.

that list is your value. it's what you're giving to your community when you share your work. it's why you write.

the sad truth is that you'll encounter far more Aunt Janets than you ever will Ideal Readers. sometimes Aunt Janets are actually very knowledgeable and still demean your work, but it's because they're jaded and insecure and maybe a little pretentious. that's okay. your Ideal Readers, or the people closest to it, are the only ones who matter.

i had trouble fathoming the Ideal Reader for a long time until i published my first story and the editor went wild over it. it was the first time someone i didn't even know read my work and saw merit in it, all on its own. i once got into a pretty prestigious residency and it honestly kind of baffled me, until i got there and found out the woman who ran it was a fangirl. when i workshop a story, usually only one or two people in the group will Get It. the rest will try and they'll mean well, but ultimately they're coming at it from a different context and different personal tastes, and that doesn't mean the work is bad, but that they're not my audience. when my agent offered to sign me, she wrote me this long, lovely email about how much she loved my manuscript, and she appreciated the same things i appreciated about it. becoming a successful writer, however you measure success, isn't about being Good. Good Writing is a myth. there's only the stubborn insistence of staying true to yourself, and the long journey of putting your work in the hands of people you hope are Ideal Readers.

there will always be people out there who will understand your work and champion it. there are people whose personal tastes align exactly with yours. but you'll never be able to find those people if you don't write the ideas that are dearest to you and share them with the world.

#writing advice #the ideal reader also frames my approach to editing but that's a different essay

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cosmicjoke · 1 month

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I want to talk about these panels, and particularly, how we see undermined here the notion that Kenny somehow instilled in Levi his belief in life's value.

These panels actually show us the opposite. Kenny says to Levi "Because we found out how meaningless our sad little lives really were."

Kenny flat out says here that he considers life meaningless, and his wording infers that he tried to impart this belief to Levi as well, by including him in the sentence. He says "we found out..."

He then says "But, something saved us. We found somethin' we wanted to do. It's simple. Simple, but true. Hobbies make life worth living."

And here Kenny is talking about dreams again, and how it's the motive of our personal dreams that keeps us going, that gives us a reason to want to keep living, even if life itself is meaningless. He underscores his low opinion of life's worth in general by casually comparing it to the idea of "hobbies", as if life's value is only equal to what activities we engage in to occupy our time when bored. This doesn't denote someone who finds life itself to be inherently worthwhile or innately worth living.

This is the exact opposite of Levi, and that's highlighted here by Levi's disbelieving reaction to Kenny's words. He says "Hobbies? So is blowing my soldiers' heads off one of your hobbies?"

Levi is disgusted by Kenny equating life's worth to something as inconsequential and frivolous as "hobbies". To Levi, life is, in and of itself, inherently valuable, and more than that, it's the one thing he values above all else. People's lives are what motivates him to fight. The desire to safeguard and preserve those lives. To protect them and prove their worth.

Kenny compares them again, saying Levi also kills if it "benefits" him, and Levi agrees, saying "Yeah.". But Kenny killed Levi's soldiers to get him closer to his own, personal dream of supreme power, while Levi killed members of Kenny's squad to protect the lives of his own comrades and himself. Kenny treated the members of Levi's squad like they were minor inconveniences in the way of him realizing his dream, which is where Levi's disgust also comes from, the casual and easy way in which Kenny took their lives, and how he then compared those lives worth to something as pointless as a hobby, easily disposed of because they weren't worth more than his dream to begin with. Because the thing is, Levi doesn't have a dream. There's no intangible and distant goal or desire he looks toward to keep him going, nothing he wants personally for himself. His only goal is to keep people alive, and barring that, to fight for their dreams, to make sure they at least don't die without reason, as a way to prove the worth of those lives. Levi is operating from the opposite stance that Kenny is, that being a belief that life is more valuable than anything, and that it doesn't need a reason or an explanation or an excuse to justify its existence. Just life in itself is what matters, is what's worthwhile and important.

The contrast between the way Levi regards life and the way Kenny regards life is fully expressed and demonstrated through this exchange, and the entire battle between Levi and Kenny's squad.

Kenny clearly didn't teach Levi to value life. He taught Levi to be selfish and greedy and to dispose of anyone who might get in the way of his personal desires. He taught Levi that life is hardly worth the distraction we derive from personal hobbies, that indeed, those hobbies are the only reason we have to go on living, implying the rest of it is pointless and without value or merit of any kind. Kenny would have demonstrated this to Levi too in the way he always so casually took others lives and in the way he taught Levi to do the same.

And yet, we see Levi defy this belief again and again, we see him defy this lesson imparted to him by Kenny again and again, by fighting so ardently for life and its preservation, to no, real benefit of his own, for no fulfillment of a personal dream, but simply for the sake of the people he's fighting for. For the lives of the people.

As I've said multiple times, it's really despite the way in which Kenny raised him that Levi ended up valuing life so much, not because of it.

#Levi Ackerman #attack on titan #shingkei no kyojin #meta #commentary #analysis

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borderline-culture-is · 1 month

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bpd culture is not feeling like you even have a personality?? like who tf am I? what are my values? am I the worst human ever or the best fucking person on this planet??

I guess who I am depends mostly on who YOU are, cause my only personality trait that seems to be consistent is that I can adapt to others without even noticing it

I'll be anything you want if that means you won't hate or leave me

makes it easy to make people like me on a surface level, but it's kinda manipulative and fake I guess? but it comes so natural to me that I almost don't notice it?

I feel so so lost and I always thought by 26 I would have figured out who I am and what I want but guess what bitch you're still here pleasing everyone else and wondering what it is that you yourself truely want and need, and also whenever you try to connect deeply with someone they sooner or later notice that your values and standpoints and character change SO DAMN MUCH?? I can be convinced of something one day and then say the opposite thing the next, and it's so frustrating for myself and others and sometimes I don't even wanna share a thought or an opinion anymore cause I know damn well I will probably think differently soon and feel fake and weird and like a lying bitch, and people close to you never know when to take your words serious cause things. just. change. SO QUICKLY with me and I jump from black to white in an instant

#borderline culture is #bpd culture is #bpd culture #bpd safe #bpd #borderline personality disorder #actually bpd #actually borderline

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manofthepipis · 16 days

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One thing that I’ve noticed is the amazing storytelling and character development Survey and Clicks are going through! They both have conflicting emotions, but seem to handle them very differently. It kind of reminds me of ‘Nice v.s Kind’ mentality. From my perspective, Survey is nice, but Clicks is kind.

For nice people, most of their characteristics are this:

- never wants to rock the boat

- Most concerned about not upsetting someone

- Afraid to speak up when they witness unkind behavior

- Censoring yourself for others feelings

- Enabling

Most of these in my opinion match Survey and their own mental battles pretty spot on! I should probably also mention early on that I don’t think Survey is evil, or acting out on any ill-will towards Spam, quite the opposite actually! Survey is probably walking on eggshells with every interaction they have with him. They haven’t had time to process through their own grief and PTSD from the last Neo rampage, so, that involuntary spills out when they don’t mean to. An example of this is when Swatch was talking to them about Neo, and their first thoughts were “Oh, Neo, great” clearly stating their apprehension towards the topic (and for a very good reason! Regardless of the mental state of the perpetrator, it’s hard to forgive and forget after a scenario like that). However, they also unfortunately, have that double whammy of the grief they felt by leaving Spamton alone, and was the only other Addison that actually heard the voice on the phone, therefore, they have an even more horrifying perspective of what Spamton went through. They somehow think that turning Spamton back into the white Addison will be the solution to all of their problems. Which, while one might think it cruel, given Surveys perspective, it makes a lot of sense. They can’t help but be scared of Spamton, they don’t want to be afraid, but they are so scared of that overwhelming feeling of NEO, and, it’s not like Survey has heard anything positive about Spamton’s new appearance. With the “burning hot plate sensation” to “I can’t say anything without being swamped by Ads” it makes sense that Survey would want to alleviate that burden. I really hope that one of the other Ads are able to catch on to Survey’s mental state, and help. Right now, my contester is Banner. Those two seem to be a little bit closer than the others, especially when it came to Spamton. Banner was also the one who noticed Survey’s apprehension and terror when Neo was in their house. This is getting to long LMAO so the summarize, ADDISONS!!! SPAMTON!! PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THE ONE LIGHTING THEMSELVES ON FIRE TO KEEP YOU ALL WARM!!!!

To move on, Clicks on the other hand, is kind. For kind people, their personalities are like this:

- Willing to make waves

- Clear, direct communication, even when uncomfortable

- Being true to their own values or feelings

- Helping

- Acting from genuine feelings

Now Clicks isn’t a saint, he’s an asshole and a drama queen, even he himself admits this. However, he definitely gets the kindness award! As he passes this test with flying colors in my opinion! He doesn’t pull back his punches with Spamton, (like him just telling Spamton to shut the fuck up LMAO) and has the most clear communication with Spam! Spamton himself, recognizes that Clicks isn’t like Banner and Survey who are still trying to test the waters with him, rather, he treats Spamton like an equal. (Even if his sense of equal is just being an asshole). Clicks has also show to value his own feelings, especially with the latest chapter! The reason it took him this long was because before, his feelings were just a giant ball of ???. Once Clicks was able to understand and get through his emotions he was able to have a better understanding of Spamton and his character. (Clicks knows that Spamton hated being that white Addison, Survey is trying to make Spamton that white Addison). Throughout the story, Clicks has shown to have a remarkable sense of body language understanding as well as trying to respect Spamtons boundaries. An example of this is when Spamton thought he was being interrogated by the other ads, and when Clicks senses his discomfort, he tries to drop the topic. Even though he’s an asshole, he definitely wants to be there for all the addisons are a strong shoulder, as well as a protector. Clicks is notorious for making waves, (all with good reason!) If someone like Survey had to have the heart the heart with Spam like Clicks had, I feel like Survey would say something like, “Everyone is capable of change Spamton! And we all want to change for the better and help!” But Clicks is just like, “you are the most egotistical bastard I have ever met. Shut the absolute fuck up.” LMAO I love this guy. Clicks isn’t a nice guy, but he is a kind guy. And that goes a lot farther in my own opinion!

To conclude, Clicks is able to empathize, while Survey sympathizes. Both are so complex it’s so good rararjdndjskdkdnd !!!!!!!

i've gotta say reading this ask/analysis (asknalysis?) has got me smiling from ear to ear because of describing something so accurately i couldn't put it into words better than this

one, i'm extremely thankful for this, and tysm for your thoughts! They're always a pleasure to read especially as i see that so much of these addisons have actually got across :'D

i really really really like writing morally grey characters, and using the kind versus nice personalities is such a great way to describe their moral differences! Surv is definitely trickier, because as you said, they're not evil, they just got a lot going on. they are apprehensive, and definitely walking on eggshells because they have no idea to actually approach this situation other than wanting it over with. Their persistence to find out what happened to spamton in pt 1 was fulfilled (for better or for worse), and being "nice" is what he needed then, to be brought down from his rage and resentment towards them as a group, while kindness is what he needs now. So Survey's inadvertently putting themselves in a worse position, creating divide, just because their approach that worked before isn't working now. And it's not their fault while at the same time, yeah, being their fault. i rlly like this line "setting themselves on fire to keep the rest of you warm" it like 1. is perfect for this and 2. goes hardcore

Without spoiling too much I do believe you have it right :D though Banner isn't in a position as extreme as Survey here, the whole thing is certainly messing with him. He doesn't want to make the wrong decisions anymore about what to do with Spamton's situation, finding it odd and uncanny, rather than devastating like Survey. He wants to make things right, but doesn't have the tools right now to do so. He wants to help, probably more than anyone else, but unyielding optimism isn't going to work and he knows that :')

you're also right about what would have happened if Surv were in Clicks' position then. There wouldn't be much of a resolution other than Survey going back to what they've seen had worked before- talking Spamton (and the rising emotions) down. When said emotions and concerns, instead, needed to be acknowledged and translated to make any progress. With Clicks, processing how he's felt for so long and what Spam's feeling now, it helped them both in one conversation and connection. Spamton's a lot like the addisons than he cares to admit, as he's been one of them at some point, so being an equal is what he's wanted, but then when he never got it, it turned to wanting to be 'bigger' than them, and thus the spiral/decline. Clicks being kind, noticing visual cues of discomfort rather than being impatient with getting information out of Spamton asap when he finally starts talking, is going to make Spamton feel more like an equal and less a belittled outcast, or worse, a freakshow. And though addisons always have their own selfish motivations directing their actions, the outcome of Clicks' approach is pretty selfless in the end.

I'm also so so so glad to have readers that see the differences in empathy versus sympathy and nice versus kind! like, just the subtle differences between each approach, in where each side is commonly seen as synonymous, when in context, they can vary from each other in large ways!! It's enlightening even as a writer to see :D! tysm for sharing!

#fanfic #;v; happy writer hours #i rlly like banner's inclusion in here- i promise the yellow and orange addison aren't getting shunned in my fic #they just haven't had their moment #sponsor especially- as they've remained a mystery for too long #asks

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lancabbage · 7 months

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I've seen a few comments flying around about WWX and JC being close at one point and I just have to vent a little because I think so much is overlooked.

Let's simplify every so the people at the back can understand. Take away all the history they have, reverse the clock and lets have WWX grow up in a different sect or something like that. Now let's have JC and WWX meet...

Okay, now how are these to people ever going to be friends? They are almost polar opposites in every sense - and yes, while my friends are very different to me at times, our core values are similar, whereas JCs and WWXs are not. JC is always threatened by those who make him feel inferior - it's another reason he dislikes LWJ. So there's that hurdle to get over. Not to mention JC is a classist snob who does not like those he deems of a lower birth. Let's also note the fact WWX likes to stay positive and JC is a negative cloud of absolute mood killing vibes. They are simply incompatible and only got on because they were thrown together.

Those cling to the comment WWX said about always thinking JC would be by his side, that really should be taken with a pinch of salt in my opinion. WWX often glazes over things that are painful for him. WWX probably did think he'd be at the sect his whole life, but that wasn't necessarily out of fondness towards JC, it was out of duty and debt more than anything. He never really imagined a real future for himself until he got a second chance at life!

There is a very contradicting line when JC arrives at the burial mounds, when WWX thinks about a falling out was a long time coming. Because they are different and not that close. He didn't even expect him to help (even though it was his debt to pay), he already took Suibian (a sword he can no longer wield!) and his small amount of personal belongings to the burial mounds prior to that! It's a major clue he knew JC would be a dick about it all.

WWX meets JL and instantly notices all his bad traits, blaming JC and JZX. I'd say that's pretty damning evidence to the contrary to be honest.

It doesn't make WWX a bad person because he wasn't really a true friend to JC, people are allowed to not really get along with others and still be a nice person. Of course WWX cares for JC (a little) but it's hard to muster up such feelings when someone is pretty abusive towards you and doesn't support you at all. WWX is kind, but he's no fool.

WWX's actions when it comes to JC are mainly from a place of debt and there is nothing wrong with that. WWX makes the most out of a bad situation, and unfortunately this is no different. He's obligated to get along with JC in his first life, he chooses not to in his second, because that obligation is no longer there and he's had enough of the self centered ass.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wei wuxian #canon jiang cheng #mdzs novel #wangxian

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hypergamiss · 1 month

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In your opinion, why do you think men choose unattractive and mean women to be their wives? I know a woman who is over 300lbs and has a horrible attitude, but her husband makes great money and he thinks she's the hottest thing around. Just imagine a very large woman, with a potty mouth, badly done tattoos and a septum piercing. They got married very young, but before him she had plenty of men interested in her. I don't get it.

I knew her briefly and quickly grew tired of being around her because she's not very nice and we just didn't have much in common. The only reason I kept her around for as long as I did, was because the business she had, gave her access to all the elites in our city--she had the best gossip. I learned about the weak spots for a lot of the upper class families, through her. But I got tired of her because every conversation, she had to remind me that she didn't have to work and that she only created her business because she got tired of being in the house all day. She's even aware of the way she comes across because she labels herself as an "asshole". She expressed that she doesn't get along with most women because she's "not interested in the things most women are interested in--like shopping." Her hobbies are smoking weed and nothing else. In other words, she's trashy lol.

Meanwhile, I'm attractive, sweet, funny, educated and have never been in a relationship. I just don't understand men at all. Women who I would think would be considered undesirable and gross by men, have great options. Men say they want a woman who's nice, attractive, and not lazy and then choose the exact opposite. I'm just confused.

She's just confident. Even if it's a "bad" type of confident, she clearly doesn't ever doubt herself and knows that she can get what she wants. I've said this before, most women think you need to be a 10/10 to be with a man that would give you the world. Literally any woman can get treated right if she plays her cards right. Yes, attractive women will always have the upper hand, but that doesn't mean the less attractive ones can't get the same outcome. If a man had to choose between me and Gigi Hadid, Gigi is winning. But no big deal, there is another man who isn't even on Gigi's radar that can give me everything I want. Think of all of the celebrities or well off women who are not attractive at all but clearly have everything they want in a partner. They didn't get it by having low self esteem and complaining about their circumstances. They decided to fully grasp the concept that women hold so much power. They have the same lady parts as the attractive women and the ability to strengthen their game in other ways that are not superficial.

She knows how to seduce.

She knows how to keep a man on his toes and keep him constantly chasing her, always trying to win her over.

She knows how to keep her boundaries and restrict access to herself when she doesn't get what she wants.

She knows how to reward her man when he does well by her.

She is selfish with her time, she doesn't lose sight of her goals and ambitions.

She puts herself first overall.

Notice how none of this has to do with looks. Looks at this point are just a cherry on top if you know how to make a man crazy about you. I'm not trying to say that she's a good person, but it's fair to give credit where it's due. She values herself and doesn't accept anything remotely close to being below her standards, even if she doesn't meet those herself. You can be a good person and still know how to play your cards right, or else I would just stay single forever because my moral compass wouldn't allow it.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Instead of wondering how she got so "lucky," study her with a grain of salt and learn how to do the same or better.

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