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schemmentisbranzino · 3 months

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A Liking for Riding - Part 1

Note: This is based off an anon i got requesting a story similar to this. I had to delete the original post because it was not showing up on the melissa x reader tag :( if you see this post know i know its not fully fulfilling your request, but i’ll get there! If you would like to keep reading <3

Warnings: None

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You thought you were going to have a pretty chill teacher planning day. Without the kids around, you were going to have time to grade their work and start planning your future lessons. Turns out Ava had other plans. You hear her loud voice over the intercom: “Hello teachers, fortunately for you, you will have to be spending some time with me today. The district is mandating we do some team building exercises. Should be fun. Can’t wait to get all the tea. Meet in the lounge room in 10 mins.”

“Oh no” - you scoff and start putting all your stuff away, you weren’t planning to spend time with anyone today, specially not with that certain redhead you havent been able to stop thinking about since the day you put a foot at Abbott Elementary.

You walk out of your classroom and see Melissa and Barbara making their way to the lounge. Barbara gives you a good morning. As polite as she always is. Melissa says hi with a soft smile, sparkling green eyes meeting yours and making your entire body tingle. God, the power she has over you. One 2 letter word and you are already on cloud 9. She grabs you by the hand in order to direct you in the same direction they are going, she lets go a few seconds later but her fingers keep brushing against yours as you keep walking, you look at her and you swear you can see a smirk forming on her face. It is like she knows what she does to you, like she enjoys teasing you, touching you ever so slightly to get a reaction out of you. Is she doing it on purpose? Is it a game to her? Does it inflate her ego? You don’t know and you don’t ask. You enjoy those little moments when she touches you or compliments you. A little glimpse of hope that your love might be a little requited. Why break your heart with the truth? The reality is that Melissa was just being herself and that she had never seen you as more than a friend… but it feels… nice.

You arrive at the lounge and all the teachers are already seated. You are given a paper with all the activities that are going to be done throughout the day and you get exhausted just by reading them. Are you ready to become this close to all your coworkers? Probably not. Just to one, though. And the possibility of spending time with her was enough to make you excited about the day.

You go through multiple rounds of exercises on how to resolve conflicts among your coworkers. As is if any of them were going to work on your people. You already had your perfect coworker dynamic and no textbook advice would ever make Janine to stop meddling or Ava do her job, etc. But it was fun to be there, to see Melissa roll her eyes at everything Ava said and shoot smiles your way as if you were her Sun in that cloudy and annoying day.

At some point, its time for an exercise that requires the teachers to share what their passions are outside of school.

Everyone hears Barbara talk about how her favorite thing to do when she is not teaching her little kids is to go to church and worship Jesus. Nobody expected any other response from her.

Next goes Melissa and your eyes just watch her in amazement as she talks about how cooking is everything to her and her family. Her delivery is quite aggressive but is just so endearing to you. You could hear that woman talk about lasagna and baked ziti all day.

“You are going to drool, y/n” - Jacob whispers in your ear as he notices the way you are starting at Melissa.

You roll your eyes at him and before he can keep saying anything is your time to share.

“Well, outside of work I like to ride” - you state before you even realize the way it could be interpreted.

“I am sure you do” - Ava says poking fun at you in a flirtatious way and everyone laughs, well everyone but Melissa.

“I mean horses, Ava” - you respond annoyed “I have been riding horses since I was much younger, I even have my own horse, his name is Jasper”

“You ride horses? Hon, that is so cool” - Melissa says to you and you can feel your face blushing.

“Oh come on, Im alright” - you say giving her back the most sincere smile of the day

“You didn’t say I was cool when I shared that i have been taking biking lessons, Melissa”

“Well that would be cool if you were 10, Janine”

The rest of the group laughs at the interaction while Melissa shifts her attention back to you.

“So an equastrian, huh?” - she says as she sits next to you, her thigh pressed against yours, making it difficult to concentrate. - “I have always wanted to learn how to ride, when I was younger I used to want a horse so bad, my favorite plushie was a little brown pony, I took it everywhere, I asked for a pony every Christmas for 5 years till I gave up. And if you tell anyone i had plushies i will deny it.”

You don’t quite know what to respond to such an adorable statement. This woman had so many layers, and discovering more of them was your favorite thing to do. From hardcore take no-shit stubborn woman to the softest one that gives you warm smiles and tells you about her childhood plushies.

“Hon” - noticing that you spaced out, she takes your hand in hers and brings you back to reality.

“Sorry, yes, I love riding, i love horses. They are one of the sweetest most loyal animals and I just love being around them. They truly own my heart. Specially my baby Jasper”

Her eyes soften as she sees you talk with such affection and love about these horses.

“Thats so incredible, sweetheart, you are” - she says before she notices that she might be saying too much

“You got any pictures?” - she asks before you have any time to respond.

At this point everyone has cleared out the room and is just you and Melissa in the lounge. You are showing her pictures of your horse and all the other horses you have had, trained or help rehabilitate. Melissa seems to like the conversation and enthusiastically react to all the pictures you show her. You can’t quite tell if this is about the horses or about you, but you are enjoying it.

“You are really sweet, you know” - you tell her as you put your phone down after showing her the many pictures of horses you have in your phone.

“What do ya mean, hon? I just really like horses”

“Just the horses?” - you say before thinking what is coming out of your mouth and once you realize it, its too late to take it back

"Well," Melissa replied with a shy smile, "to be honest, I am enjoying the time we're spending together." She leaned in closer, her eyes locked on yours, as a hint of a blush spread across her cheeks. She hesitated slightly before saying, "I also like seeing you happy."

Her words sent a spark of electricity through you body, excitement and confusion taking over your body.

“What can i say? Spending time with you makes me happy, Schemmenti” - you said trying to seem confident but the close proximity at which she was standing had you feeling weak in the knees.

Melissa learned in even closer. Is she? Is she going to kiss me? You thought to yourself. Your heart was racing and your body trembled with anticipation as you saw Melissa inches away from you. You could feel her breath on your lips, and you wanted nothing more than to kiss her. The tension in the air was palpable. You closed your eyes, wanting to savor every second of this moment.

As your lips were about to touch, Janine barges into the room, “I - I a forgot my coat, sorry, im so sorry” - she grabs her jacket and runs out of the door.

If looks could kill, Janine wouldn’t have survived the one that Melissa just gave her.

“Just Janine being Janine and ruining things” - you say under your breath, clearly annoyed that your dreams did not came true.

“Don’t worry, hon, there’ll be plenty of time for that” - Melissa says planting a chaste kiss on your forehead.

You don’t respond. Confused as to what that might mean. Sure, you are friends and sure you always flirt with each other, but this is different. Melissa has become increasingly flirty and close to you these past few weeks. Her hands lingering longer on your body, her eyes finding you in every room, her sweet words. You thought nothing of it, but after today’s events the hope in your heart grows.

“How about we go to my house and I make you a late lunch?” - she says caressing your cheek with her fingers, a gesture that makes your heart flutter.

“Actually, I can’t. I had made plans to go see Jasper in the barn today and help my instructor with some things. I-“

“Don’t worry, hon, there will be another time” - Melissa says interrupting you. A wave of sadness clearly taking over her face. Her eyes no longer sparkling.

“You can come with, I’d love for you to meet Jasper”

Her face completely lights up, you could see the excitement in her eyes as she agrees to come with you see your horse.

The car ride is about one hour and you are extremely excited but nervous to be spending so much time in an enclosed space with Melissa after what happened earlier. She insists in driving and you happily sit in the passenger seat. You want to relax and enjoy the ride, but a thousand thoughts are going through your brain. You space out thinking about them while you keep your eyes locked on the redhead at the wheel. She is so beautiful, you feel like you want to look at her forever. Memorize her every freckle, every single one of her wrinkles, the shape of her nose. You think about her lips and what it would be like to taste them, to feel them against yours..

“You are staring, hon. What is in that little head?” - she says as she reaches out to squeeze your hand

“About earlier, you were about to kiss me, weren’t you? and you said there’d be more…”

“And there will be more, hon. Don’t get too impatient”

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti x y/n #melissa schemmenti/reader #melissa schemmenti imagine #abbott elementary #wlw fanfic #lisa ann walter #read on ao3

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countrymusiclover · 9 months

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9 - Mystic Falls Tradition

Part 10

Family is More than Blood

@secretdreamlandmentality

Raelyn’s pov

Entering the mansion we had dropped our kids back off at school. Yet when Klaus and I sat our bags down in the entrance I halted in my tracks seeing Josie and Lizzie standing at the end of the stairs. “Hey Saltzman, what's going on?” I questioned shifting my gaze between the pair.

“We were thinking that since our mom is busy with recruiting work. We should plan a baby shower or something.” Lizzie said putting her hands together in front of her.

Tucking hair behind my ear I sighed towards the blonde. “Oh Lizzie. That’s sweet but you don’t have to do that. After all this is our fifth kid not our first.”

“Yeah but we feel like we should do something for you and uncle Klaus.” Josie replied.

Klaus tapped me on the shoulder making me glance back at him seeing that there was a guy with a clipboard standing in the doorway. Walking outside with him my husband asked him confused. “What do you need, mate. We didn’t order anything.”

“I have tables, flowers, chairs and a helium tank.” The guy explained holding out the clipboard.

Knitting my brows together in confusion I gasped eyeing my husband knowing he would pick up on what that stuff could be for. “Oh my gosh. Alaric Saltzman forgot about the Miss Mystic Falls Pageant.”

“I’ll fix this.” Klaus stomped forward grabbing the man by his shoulder compelling him since no humans in this town knew what vervain was like they used too. “Follow these two girls and you will find the man who you will require his signature. Go on.”

The man left the mansion where I turned to the twins. “Okay so it looks like we have to pretend to not be supernatural for a day. We’ll meet you at the school in a few minutes.”

“Okay let’s go.” Josie nodded to her twin with her and Lizzie leaving us alone. Klaus and I made our way back to the school seeing that Lizzie already had everyone on tasks of what to do. In that moment it was clear she took after Caroline more than she did her bio mother Jo. It made me happy to think that Josie at least took after my late cousin in some ways.

Lizzie glanced in our direction telling us to follow her inside an office room. Klaus and I entered behind her seeing that Joise, Hope, Missy and Alina were also waiting to see what she had to say when she shut the door with her foot in a huff. “I am withdrawing from Miss Mystic Falls. Effective immediately.”

Hope rolled her eyes. “I thought you had something important to tell us.”

Josie made a confused face at her twin. “Okay, wait, why are you quitting?”

“A personal issue with one of the judges. A direct result of that bittch Dana's sabotage.” Lizzie sighed, sitting down at the desk.

Hope slumped her shoulders. “She's dead, Lizzie.”

“Correction: that dead bitch Dana's sabotage. Costing me the crown from beyond the grave.” The blonde siopon changed her wording, shifting her gaze between my three daughters. “The head judge is her mother. The town pharmacist. There is always next year for me. But that does not mean that we here at the Salvatore School shouldn't bring home the title and stick it to those townies. So, I have studied all of the stats and advanced metrics, and I have chosen a replacement. Hope Mikaelson.”

Alina crossed her arms over her chest scowling at her answer. “Wait a second. What if me or Missy wanted to compete. Are you saying that we would have to go against our own sister?”

“I don’t see a problem with having more than one Mikaelson compete for the crown. It should be fun and plus it would give the Salvatore School a stronger chance of winning for once.” I didn’t see a problem with it turning towards my daughters. “If either of you wants to enter, go right ahead.”

Klaus intertwined his hands together behind his back leaving the room with me following his heels. “You’re mother is right. The Mikaelson family was here long before any of the founding families anyhow. So let’s take it to these townies.”

The door behind us opened and shut with me watching Missy walk past us and go up to Ethan who had just got here. “Hmm I wonder when she’ll introduce us to him?” I mumbled more to myself than to my husband leaving the pair alone to talk.

Leaving Lizzie to do whatever she was going to do with Hope I heard someone call my name running down the stairs grinning at me. “M & M!”

Missy’s pov

“Ethan, what are you doing here?” I chuckled, not expecting to see him here today.

He playfully hit me on the arm. “My mom got the sheriff job so it looks like we’ll see each other more often. So we might be able to have another date after all.”

“Why did you call me M & M? I thought I told you to call me Missy.” I asked, tilting my head slightly.

He sent me a cheeky smile gesturing down the hallway near us. “I just thought it would be a cute superhero name for you. Uh…would you be up to showing me around?”

“Absolutely.” Turning on my heels we started walking down the hallway until I recognized a boy with dirty blonde hair coming towards us. “Roman, why are you here!”

"Dr. Saltzman called me to come help out.." He paused, staring at Ethan knowing I could hear his heartbeat just like he could. "I was hoping I could talk with you and Alina privately for a second."

Clutching my hands into fists I felt the veins beginning to appear underneath my eyes until I managed to shake it off. "Fine…Ethan I'll be right back."

Roman and I made our way away from the human boy knowing that he wouldn't be able to hear what we were saying now. Shoving my hands in the belt loops of my jeans I kept my eyes gaze focused forward letting silence fill the hallways until we were outside searching for the old mill building. "Missy, I just feel like I need to apologize for what happened. I was an idiot to not see what my mother was really trying to do."

"Roman, what do you want from me? Cause if you want me and Alina to forgive you that can't happen." Raising my hands towards the vampire I cut him off.

He shook his head dropping his shoulders heavily. "I know that. I just…I don’t know what I expect from you. I thought you'd be angry and want me dead or something."

"Oh at first, yes. But it's been two years and I have to just adjust with what happened to me…" I sucked in a breath feeling some tears coming up. Covering my ears with my hands I suddenly snapped back at him. "You know why am I fighting this anymore. Do you know what it feels like for me to finally start liking guys only to have to not let him get close because I want to sink my fangs into his neck and possibly kill him!"

"I…I am so sorry even if you won’t accept my apology. I am sorry, Missy. I never would have wished you for you to become a vampire." Roman sheepishly admitted before he lifted his head up hearing some laughter in the distance. "Do you hear that?"

Lifting my hair up from my left ear I recognized my sister and Jackson's voices. "They're this way, let's go." Vamping away from Roman he followed my trail shortly afterwards.

Inside the old mill building Jackson and Alina were practicing the dance outside of the rehearsal room back at the school where everyone else was. Jackson gently pushed his wife away from him, throwing his hands up. "This is ridiculous, Lina. Our wedding dance wasn't this complicated."

"Come on, Jack. I know it seems stupid. But I want to give this a try." She slumped her shoulders putting her hands into the pockets of her dark orange jacket.

He ran a hand through his black curls offering his other hand to her. "Fine. I just think we would have a lot more fun running through the woods in our wolf forms. Since we aren't bound by the full moon anymore."

"I'll make it up to you later…someone’s here." Alina leans forward about to kiss him until she could sense that someone was there watching them which revealed Missy and Roman walking into the room.

Roman barely could get a word out before my sister ran forward shoving the vampire against a wooden post. "Alina, I know you'll be angry with me. But I-"

"You what killer. You've got nothing to say that will ever fix what your mother made me do.!" My twin sister wrapped her hand around his throat holding him up against the pillar.

I took a step towards her with Jackson standing at my side. "Alina, don't kill him."

"He's already dead, sister. But you have nothing to say that will make me forget being forced to kill my own sister…and there's nothing stopping me from tearing your heart from your chest right now!" Alina flashed her werewolf eyes pushing her other hand harshly against his chest but not inside just yet.

Roman couched feeling her fingernails tightening. “Alina…”

For a moment I thought she would kill her but she drew her hands away letting the vampire collapse to the ground. “You’re not worth it. Even after I did kill you it would only feel good for a brief second. Just know that if I see you again you might not be safe from desiccating in a cave for another 900 years!”

“Alina…” Jackson reached to touch her shoulder knowing that she was fiercely angry right now.

She huffed trying to calm herself down walking down toward the school. “Come on, Jack. We need to get ready for the Padgett.” Roman who was catching his breath stayed with me before I vamped off going to find Ethan.

Klaus and I were upstairs getting ready in one of the other bedrooms that no one was using for the time being. Pushing dresses back and forth I couldn’t find one that I liked or that would fit since my stomach had started growing now. “Still looking for a dress, Rae. How about you take one from the past as an option?”

Raelyn’s pov

“Klaus, what are you talking about…you kept that dress. It was strained in blood and torn.” I covered my mouth with my hands recognizing him holding a golden dress in his hands. The dress was the exact one I wore when I first met Mikael but it looked brand new.

Klaus handed it to me while I eyed him up and down seeing he was simply a black suit and white shirt with no tie for tonight. “I had some dress store fix it. It will fit perfectly against your growing stomach too.”

“Thank you, Nik. You always know what I need.” Kissing his cheek he smiled watching me slip the dress back on in front of him. Leaving my hair loose I take his hand sending him a grin placing my hand other on my belly. “We’ll have to start thinking of baby names though at some point.”

“Don’t worry we will find the perfect name for this prince or princess soon enough. Let’s go deal with this dance.” He nodded in agreement, kissing the crown of my head leading me down the hallway until we got downstairs seeing the entire room with our students and the others were the normal humans of the town.

The whole dance had gone pretty well for the most part. Klaus and I intertwined hands together getting close, joining in with the girls that were competing, not caring about the judges watching us. While he spun me around and back into his chest I caught Josie saying something angry at her sister. “What about your sister's feelings?”

“What are they fighting about?” Hope asked Roman who had stepped in after Landon bailed.

The curly haired vampire didn’t answer her. “Who knows? It's always something with those girls.”

She demanded of him while they kept dancing. “I know you can hear them. Tell me.”

Josie raised her voice. “Do you know how good it would feel to actually be competing? In Mom's dress? Did you even consider how Hope would feel wearing it?” Shifting my gaze over to our eldest daughter I noticed that she was wearing a light blue dress that I remember he had given Caroline when she came to the Mikaelson’s ball.

“She looks fantastic. She should feel amazing.” Lizzie was watching Hope just like we were.

Josie scoffed. “Will she still feel amazing when she learns where it came from?”

Roman shook his head eyeing the dress the girl he was dancing with was wearing. “It's silly. Sibling rivalry stuff, about the dress you're wearing.”

Hope asked him. “What about it?”

Klaus finally turned his attention to the siphon twins listening in on the conversation that I was hearing. Lizzie asked his sister, slumping her shoulders. “What do you mean, where it came from? It was a gift from some guy who used to be close with Mom.”

Josie finally left the room shifting her gaze directly at me and Klaus. “From Klaus Mikaelson, Lizzie. Hope's dad.”

Squeezing Klaus’s hand in mine his blue eyes met mine with us both hearing Roman tell Hooe where the dress was actually from. “Your father gave it to her. “

“My dad chose this dress?” Hope chuckled through a gasp grinning brightly at us before a spotlight went on her and the judges had said that she had won the competition.

Focusing my attention back on my husband an idea popped in my head when we needed to think of baby names for our fifth child. He tilted his head to the side knowing I was thinking of something. “What’s running through that head of yours now, Raelyn?”

“What if we named our son or daughter after a Disney character hmm. I don’t know if that sounds odd or not given that you didn’t grow up watching them on tv.” I shrugged my shoulders, giving him some hopeful puppy dog eyes waiting for his answer.

Klaus leans forward gently kissing me not caring who saw us. “I told you that every king needs an heir. You have my heart and you can do whatever you wish. Especially when it comes to naming our children. I’ll love baby number five no matter what. Just as much as I love you, Rae.”

“I love you very much too, Nik.” I responded wrapping my arms around his neck drawing him in for a kiss. He wrapped his arms around my waist tugging me against his chest enjoying the kiss like we always did with one another.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

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chaoticgremlinwholikescheese · 10 months

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Don’t Let Go

Whump

Angst

Hurt/Comfort

Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley

Protective Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)

I am californian and fire season is a genuine thing

AO3 LINK

Usually there's four seasons. Fall, winter, spring, and summer. In California, there's five seasons. Fall, winter, spring, summer, and fire. Fire season comes every year without fail. It's a staple of life you get used to when you live in the sunshine state. However, with climate change, the fires get worse every year. And this year is the worst one in decades.

"118! Listen up!"

Bobby's voice rings through the fire house as silence falls. Everyone gathers around him.

"As you all know, this years fire season has been bad. Our station has been assigned to fight the fires on the southern ridges. This is going to be a five day assignment, but it could go longer. We're expected to arrive by eight AM tomorrow. I know this is short notice, and I apologize, but I just found out about this myself. After shift today, please make any arrangements you need to. If you require assistance or have questions, feel free to ask me. Thank you all."

There's murmuring from the crowd, but it dissipates as everyone scatters.

"I was hoping we wouldn't be dispatched for a bit longer," Eddie sighs.

"It comes every year like clock work. Do you know if Carla can watch Chris?"

"Honestly, Buck, I don't know. I'll call and ask."

"Karen said she could watch the kids after work. Chris can stay with Denny, it'll be like a super-long sleepover," Hen interjects. "So as long as Carla can watch Chris during the day, everything should be fine."

"Hen. Have I ever told you and Karen that you two are the greatest people on the planet?"

"Yes. But hearing it again never hurts."

Hen goes off to chat with Chim, who's calling Maddie. Eddie turns to Buck.

"I was going to invite you over for a movie night tonight, but you'll probably want to pack."

"I've got everything I need at your place. I can throw it in my travel bag. Plus, I promised Chris I would make Bobby's lasagna tonight."

Eddie has this soft smile on his face. It's one that's reserved solely for Chris and Buck. Hen calls it his 'love-sick smile'. And in all honesty, Eddie knows she's right. He's head over heels for Buck. Has been for years. It's as familiar to him as breathing. Maybe one day he'll tell Buck. But for right now, he doesn't want to risk losing Buck completely. He can't handle that. He just got him back after the lightning strike. He won't lose him again just because he can't keep his feelings in check.

The alarm goes off, spurring everyone into action. Eddie forces himself to clear his mind.

*******************

Buck knows Eddie's kitchen like the back of his hand. Partially because he reorganized it while stressed, but more so because he cooks here more than he ever does in his own home. He spends more time at Eddie's house than he does his own house in general. He's become a staple in the Diaz household. And he'll forever be grateful that they want him here.

"Okay, the lasagna is almost ready. Chris, can you grab the water from the fridge?"

Chris does so, Dodging Eddie as he goes to grab the plates. The timer goes off and Buck grabs the food from the oven. He places it on the table, taking his seat next to Eddie.

"This smells amazing."

"Lucky for you, you're getting the first piece," Buck says as he serves Chris a slice.

They all dig in. They chat about their day. Chris updates them on the gossip from school. It's the domestic moments like these that Buck loves the most.

After dinner, Buck washes the dishes as Eddie dries them. Chris runs off to his room to get into PJs.

"We have to tell him we're being dispatched," Eddie whispers.

"I know."

"I hate leaving him."

"Me too."

He bumps his shoulder into Eddie's, a silent show of support. Eddie smiles at him. They stay like that as they wash the rest of the dishes. Eventually, Chris comes back in, now clad in dinosaur pajamas.

"Hey Chris, before we start the movie, we gotta talk about something really quick."

Chris shoots them a nervous look. Buck quickly assures him it's nothing bad. That seems to relax the boy a bit, but he's clearly still worried.

"You know the fires going on? Buck and I are being sent to go fight them. We'll be gone for a couple days. We have to leave tomorrow. Carla will watch you during the day like usual, and you'll stay with Karen and Denny."

"How long will you be gone?"

"We don't know. Probably about five days. I promise I'll take care of your dad, alright?"

"And I'll take care of Buck. We'll be back before you know it."

Chris nods.

"I'm not worried. As long as you two stay together, you'll both come home," he says confidently.

"Exactly. Now, what movie do you want to watch, mijo?"

*******************

Buck spends the ride to basecamp doing crossword puzzles. Occasionally he'll ask Eddie for help with a question, but on the whole his collection of random knowledge makes the puzzles easy. Eddie passes the time scrolling on his phone. He has a bunch of articles that Buck sent him, so he works his way through those. They're about a variety of different subjects. Buck tends to go on research binges, and he'll send Eddie things he finds interesting. Eddie loves it.

When they arrive, Bobby orders everyone to disembark. The moment Eddie steps outside, he's hit by a wave of smoky air. The sky is a shade of orange. It's apocalyptic. Bobby leads them over to the main tent, where everything is being organized. A woman comes out to meet them. She's rather short, but she exudes intimidating energy. Her salt-and-pepper hair is tied back in a tight bun.

"Hi, everyone. I'm Captain Hestwen. I'm the one in charge here. In a minute, you'll be getting your assignments. Over to the left is the field hospital. That tent right there is the bunks, grab naps whenever you can. A full nights sleep won't happen. Food is at the green tent, and the tent next to that is where we're storing gear. If you need me, I'll be here. I'll be seeing you all later at the briefing."

She heads inside just as Bobby comes out. He starts listing off their different positions.

"Chim, Hen, you're on med. You're going with a team from the 159 to help with evacuations and injuries. Andrews, you're joining the 35. Jefferson, you're going to help with heli-rescue. Diaz, Buck, you two are going out with the 128 to help with search and rescue. I'm staying here to help Captain Hestwen. Keep your radios on. The wind could shift, so I want to make sure I can get in touch with you all if I need to. Stay safe, everyone."

With that, everyone heads to their designated positions. It takes Eddie and Buck a moment to locate the 128. They find the crew resting around a table. There's about four of them. A young man comes up to greet them.

"Buckley and Diaz? I'm Ryan. I'm heading up this crew. That's Teri, Hartley, and Muniz."

"Nice to meet you. Call me Buck."

They all shake hands before heading over to the table. There's a map laid out, marked by red pins.

"Okay. There's a campsite that was right along the fire line. Most of the campers got out, but there's still three missing. There's a teenage girl named Jocelyn who was doing a solo trip, and a young couple, Nick and Theo. The wind is shifting fast, so we need to move faster. There's no way to get a helicopter out in this smoke, so we're taking ATVs down. We need to cover a large distance, so we're going to take different areas. Muniz, you're with me, taking the North campsite. Teri and Hartley, you're taking the east. Buck and Diaz, you're taking the west corner. You'll all get a map. Keep in mind that the fire line will be constantly shifting, so the map may be inaccurate."

Ryan leads them to the ATVs. Buck opts to drive, since Eddie is better at reading maps. It's a skill he picked up in the army. After making sure they're all on the same radio channel, they go their separate ways. Eddie directs Buck along the side trails. The road is thin and rocky. The smoke gets thicker as they head closer to the fire line. Buck can feel it settling on his skin. He calls out all three names, praying that they hear a response.

"To the left! A tent!"

Buck pulls over when he hears Eddie yell. They get out to investigate. There's two sleeping bags, so it must be Nick and Theo's. There's not much of the tent left. It looks like the fire swept through, charring everything in it's path. Buck calls out their names, even though it's unlikely the two men are anywhere nearby. They likely would have run from the fire.

"Let's head further down the trail. My guess is that they ran when the fire came."

Eddie nods in agreement. They climb back in and start to drive again. They see the evidence of the fire all around them. They're getting closer to the fire itself. When Nick and Theo ran, they didn't know the fire line would shift with the wind. They had no idea they were running straight towards it.

"Theo! Nick!"

Eddie's voice is hoarse from the combination of yelling and smoke. Nevertheless, he yells out their names again.

"Down here! Help!"

Buck abruptly stops. They run out of the ATV, heading towards the voice. They end up on a steep ridge. Down below, the two men are sitting. One appears mostly okay, but the other has a badly cut leg. Eddie can see the white of bone from where he's standing.

"The ridge collapsed! We can't get out," one yells.

"Grab the med bag," Buck orders. When Eddie returns, Buck has already scrambled down the ridge. He's putting pressure on the man's wound with the gauze from his pocket. "Throw down a rope! You'll have to pull them up, okay?"

They don't have access to their usual gear. All they have is some rope and carabiners. Eddie ties one end of the rope around a large boulder. He gives it a tug to make sure it's secure. Then he tosses the other end over the ridge, watching to make sure it doesn't get snagged on anything. Buck quickly ties it into a rescue knot.

"Theo, you need to go up. Eddie is going to help you."

"I'm not leaving Nick!"

"I promise I'll take care of him."

"Go," Nick croaks.

Theo hesitates, but grabs onto the rope. Eddie instructs him to put the loops around his legs. Once Theo is secure, Eddie uses all his strength to pull him up. Even with his gloves, the rope bites into his hands. The moment Theo appears over the edge, Eddie pulls him fully to safety.

"Are you hurt anywhere?"

"No. I mean yes, I have some cuts and a sprained wrist, but you need to take care of my boyfriend first, please-"

"Buck's got him. Go get in the ATV, we're going to get you both out of here."

The radio attached to Eddie's chest crackles to life. Bobby's voice comes over the line.

"All search and rescue teams, be advised that the wind is shifting. Fire is rapidly heading west."

Eddie swears. The fire is heading right for them. He can see it in the distance, getting closer with each passing second. They need to get out of here. He runs back to the edge of the ridge and throws the rope back down. Buck helps Nick up, carrying the majority of his weight. Buck has tied a tourniquet just above his wound. With a good bit of help, Nick gets secured to the rope. Buck gives Eddie a thumbs up.

It's when Eddie gets Nick to the top that the ridge collapses, taking the rock and rope with it. Eddie barely grabs Nick in time. Half the ridge falls, boulders tumbling down. He pulls Nick to safety before running over to check on Buck. He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees that Buck is stumbling to his feet.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. Ankle might be broken though," Buck says. He's leaning heavily on his right side.

Eddie can see the fire getting closer. It'll reach them in only a couple of minutes. He has to get Buck up and out of here fast. Theo has already helped Nick into the ATV. Eddie searches the back for another rope, but there's none. Fuck. Eddie races back to the edge, wary of the fact that the ridge is unstable.

"You need to climb! Can you?"

"I don't think so. Eddie, you need to get Nick and Theo out of here. I'll find a different way up."

"I'm not leaving you."

"The fire is heading this way. You need to go!"

Eddie looks at Nick and Theo. Theo still has a small backpack on.

"Theo! Do you have any rope on you?"

He checks his bag, smiling when he pulls out a thin line. Eddie grabs it, testing its strength. It's enough. It has to be. He finds another hefty boulder and ties one end of the rope around it, making sure it's tightly knotted. He throws the other end down. He can feel the heat emanating from the fast-approaching flames. Buck knots the other end around himself. He looks warily at the flames, now eating through the trees only a few feet away.

Eddie begins to pull. His muscles scream at him, exhausted from all the work, but he ignores the pain. All that matters is getting Buck to safety.

The rope creaks.

It snaps.

Eddie lunges forward, grabbing Buck's hand just in time. The rope drops into the flames below. Eddie tries to pull Buck up, but he gets dragged towards the edge. The only thing holding him in place is the root his foot is lodged in, but that's about to give way too.

"Eddie, you have to let go, I'm going to pull you down with me," Buck begs.

"No," Eddie chokes out through gritted teeth. If he lets go Buck is going to fall. And if the fall doesn't kill him, the inferno waiting below will.

"Chris needs you."

"He needs you too!"

"Tell him I love him, okay? And- and there's notes for everyone. Just in case. They're in a box in my closet. Tell everyone I love them, alright?"

"Buck, please-" Eddie's cut off by his own strangled sob. The root gives way a little more.

"It's okay. I love you, Eddie."

With one last smile, Buck lets go. Eddie watches him fall.

CONTINUE READING ON AO3

#911 #911 fic #buddie

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batri-jopa · 1 year

Text

a meme!

Thanks for tagging me @notasapleasure

1. Are you named after anyone?

Not after a real person. My mom said it was a name of a doll in some kind of fairy tale that she watched (or read?) and she just liked that name.

2. When was the last time you cried?

A week ago. Well, I guess I asked for it: after all those years I just should have known better than dwell on that kind of stuff from the past and in this part of my hormone cycle. (You know stuff like one of these few extremally rare moments in your life someone from your closest family said sth that made you feel like shit but thinking about it years after still never fails to make you feel like shit all over again?)

3. Do you have kids?

No. Surprisingly no. If asked ten years ago I would most surely say I'm going to. Not that I ever really desired it so much. More that not wanting was always considered as something that is worthy of condemnation. So it was just that "normal thing to do" with no deeper thinking involved nor required, you know?

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

It depends but sometimes it feels like the last thing that is left to defence my mental stability. And I'd rather be commenting an absurdish situation (especially in my job) than a person.

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

Table tennis my love!❤ Any other I ever tried playing is not even worth mentioning (I played field hockey two or three times and football once or twice and I remember really enjoying it. But unfortunately girls were let to play it extremally rarely, we were expected to play volleyball or basketball - none of which I ever liked😑)

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people?

I'm not sure what kind of situation I'm expected to consider... So in the place where I am just a random person in the crowd (railway station and such) I would probably first notice if anyone looked angry or impatient or irritated - to make sure I can avoid getting on their way (e.g. being a patient in a waiting room it's about sitting quietly with your head low and ignoring any possible evil comments about healthcare and politics). As for when I'm feeling safe or even going to meet someone new - I will pay attention to people's face expression and eyes, I also like to see someone smiling or doing or wearing something that make me think we have something in common. Also I notice their clothes sometimes if I liked the colour or the pattern (I can't help it, my brain is of visual artist😅 It doesn't mean I judge ppl by their look. Many times I find something ugly in objectively pretty person that I did not liked and in somebody I liked I'd always find some beautiful detail, regardless their look)

7. What's your eyes colour?

Yellow on the inside with blue ring on the outside. I like to think it makes them look a bit green from a distance.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

If only two options avaliable I'd rather choose happy ending. Life is scary enough😅

9. Any special talents?

Drawing I guess. I am able to project a picture from my brain to a flat paper with a piece of charcoal and it's like freaking magic. It never stopped to amaze me.

10. Where were you born?

In a town in north Poland.

11. What are your hobbies?

Drawing most of all. Also creating short stories on my head I then illustrate or longer stories I sometimes write down. Given more free time I also like to engage into pyrography, sewing stuffed toys or crocheting. From time to time I like to travel, most usually to one of Polish towns but traveling abroad I like too.

12. Do you have any pets?

Cat for the last 4 years. Before that I was having syrian hamsters for almost 20 years (16 hamsters).

13. How tall are you?

165 centimeters.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Mathemathics above everything else! Also liked Polish, biology and chemistry. Most hated was always sports, while geography, history and physics were dangerously close to "hate" line.

15. Dream job?

Dream as "daydream"? I sometimes fantasize if I was born again I'd like to be one of the graphics making animated movie, like those of a Pixar studio. Or a pastor officiating weddings of gay couples

Dream as what I wish or plan: creating art on request or design prints for t-shirt, cushions and children blankets, maybe designing playing cards too - just enough for me to be satisfied that I can do it and my client to have a personalized gift. At the same time working other job 2-3 days a week to earn just enough for a comfortable life.

Tag fifteen mutuals - that's the worst part, how do I get so much?😑 Okey, everybody, feel invited but not pressed: @figuringthengsout , @chrisoels , @morulezopelforever , @sharp-lines-in-charcoal , @parttimereptile , @greenbloodedskink , @krejong , @theflyingrhubarb , @sunlightismydestroyer-blog , @asteeee , @bylercultism , @princesspink48484 , @elephant-reincarnation , @angleshades , @sweetlullabyebye

#tag game #meme game #just me

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another-dra-anew · 1 year

Note

see if he'll reach out today? :O???

//We leave the classroom, which has been empty for a good ten, fifteen minutes now, and head to…

Sub-Event: Haruhiko heads home?

//Hopes Peak Main Course Dorms, Floor 2, Class 79-B: Kobashikawa’s dorm.

~*~

//Kobashikawa lays on his bed, still in his uniform, slowly kicking his legs as he scrolls on his phone.

Kobashikawa - …

Kobashikawa - No ones posted anything new…

Kobashikawa - Tsurugi will probably update with a picture when he’s back to his dorm after looking at the market…

Kobashikawa - But it’s only been a short while since class got out.

Kobashikawa - …

Kobashikawa - …Mmm…

//He pauses for a moment, before swiping out of Instagram, and clicking on his phones texting service. It’s still selected on the last contact he was messaging; his mom.

Kobashikawa - …

//He scrolls up, re-reading their conversation for the millionth time.

~*~

Description: A text conversation between Kobashikawa Yuriko, and Kobashikawa Haruhiko. Given names used for clarity.

Monday, December 9th

6:37 AM

Yuriko: Have you texted Miki today?

Yuriko: Today’s her birthday; she isn’t up yet, don’t worry.

7:46 AM

Haruhiko: i remembered, so i stayed up until midnight to text her

Haruhiko: is she out of school yet?

Haruhiko: I know none of her classes required her meeting with them this quarter, so itd be fine for her to sleep in even if she’s not, I’m just curious

Yuriko: Good job, honey!

Yuriko: No, she’s not out until the 13th.

Yuriko: Which should be the same as you get out…?

Haruhiko: they aren’t letting kids go until the 22nd, I believe. We have to stay on campus until then

Yuriko: You could always tell them you want to work the break, and head home when you’re off…

Yuriko: I’m not saying you have to go earn money, I just know you usually get to fly a lot more than you’ve been able to.

Yuriko: And I wouldn’t want you to spend all your time with us up in the air…

8:22 AM

Yuriko: You’re free to do whatever, but I don’t want you to be off in a different country when you could be sleeping at home.

Yuriko: You don’t have to leave your room, I’d just be happy knowing you’re in there ❤️

8:31 AM

Haruhiko: sorry, I was taking a bath

Haruhiko: I can try to apply for an early leave, I’d need to get it approved by administration, and get a work schedule cleared

Yuriko: Do you need me to call anywhere for you?

Haruhiko: I have people I can text to coordinate with airports for me

Yuriko: Okay!

9:16 AM

Haruhiko: Love you, mom

Yuriko: I love you too!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Tuesday, December 10th

2:32 PM

Yuriko: Do you think Miki would like this? //Attatched is a picture of a torn up black shirt, taken at a bit of an odd angle.

Haruhiko: yea

Haruhiko: get it for her!

Yuriko: Got it ❤️

4:52 PM

Yuriko: Have you asked for early leave, Haru?

Haruhiko: not yet, no

Yuriko: Okay, be sure you get that handled!

Yuriko: I still have a copy of your schedule, do you think it’d help for me to text you when class is out? As a reminder?

Haruhiko: it’s okay, i’ll ask today

Yuriko: Thank you, honey!

5:07 PM

Haruhiko: :( //Attached is a picture of a paper sheet taped to a window. It reads: OFFICE HOURS (Dec 8-14) M-F 8:00 AM - 5:00 PM SAT-SUN 8:00 AM - 6:00 PM

Yuriko: Oh no!

Yuriko: Think you can go before class? Or send them an e-mail?

Haruhiko: i’ll try to get there tomorrow morning

Yuriko: Sounds like a plan!

Wednesday, December 11th

8:03 AM

Yuriko: Don’t forget to ask the office about leaving early!

Haruhiko: 👍

5:30 PM

Yuriko: How did it go?

Haruhiko: they said i can go early if i can get four hours flight time per day i leave early.

Haruhiko: I’d have until I come back to get those complete though, so they could be dispersed over the week between christmas and new years

Yuriko: Hm… what do you think?

Haruhiko: idk

Yuriko: Well, do you want to come home early?

6:16 PM

Haruhiko: i don’t know

Yuriko: Honey, I just don’t want you to feel like you need to escape during the time you have with us.

Yuriko: If you don’t want to come home early, that’s okay!

Yuriko: You can stay at the school, you can come home and take some flights, it’s whatever you want.

Yuriko: I just worry about you…

Yuriko: Do you think you’ll be able to spend time outside of your room this season?

8:37 PM

Yuriko: It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it, or can’t. I don’t you to feel like you’re being pressured.

Yuriko: I love you, Haru.

9:29 PM

Haruhiko: ♥️

Yuriko: ❤️❤️❤️

10:16 PM

Haruhiko: it’s hard right now.

Haruhiko: i love you all, i just get really really anxious when i think about coming home

Haruhiko: i don’t want to waste my chance to see you all, but im having a hard time this season

Thursday, December 12th

7:32 AM

Yuriko: I hear you, honey, I’m sorry.

Yuriko: And it is okay if you don’t feel up to leaving your room when you’re here! No one would be upset, we understand.

Yuriko: We love you ❤️

12:51 PM

Yuriko: Miki needs to learn to not cause trouble… //Attached is a short video of a young woman throwing snowballs at a teenager a few years older than Haruhiko. The young woman has long, honey brown hair, and is wearing a light green winter coat. The video is filmed from a small distance away, but she seems to be very pretty in a conventional way, and very upset, in a “attack the cause of anger with snowballs” way. The teenager has jet black hair pulled back into two buns, and wears a black coat. The video starts about a second before she falls to the ground, screaming as the onslaught of snow continues even after she falls. The person behind the camera can’t be seen, but after filming for a bit, says “…They’ll work it out just fine…” and ends the video.

4:08 PM

Yuriko: Have you tried talking with your classmates? They seem nice, I’m sure they could help with your anxiety…

Yuriko: Also, isn’t there counselors at the school?

Yuriko: Or I could reach out to your therapist for an online appointment, those are pretty common now!

7:14 PM

Yuriko: Shira should be sending you gift ideas for your grandparents; no promises on how they’ll behave, but I’m fully planning to make a quick escape this year!

10:01 PM

Yuriko: Sleep well, honey ❤️

Friday, December 13th

2:37 AM

Haruhiko: tell shira im proud of her and am looking forward to her amazing snowball throwing skills when miki inevitably decides to bully and torment me

3:13 AM

Haruhiko: love you ❤️

6:58 AM

Yuriko: I love you too!

Yuriko: And Miki also loves you~

7:56 AM

Haruhiko: Miki bit me last time I was home

Yuriko: She’s teething.

Haruhiko: SHE IS SEVENTEEN AND RUDE

Yuriko: And she loves you!

Yuriko: Love bites. Like a puppy.

1:17 PM

Haruhiko: I’m not really doing well.

Haruhiko: I have an hour and a half to focus on my talent, i might try to get a quick flight in.

Haruhiko: But idk, i just wanted to say something? Keep you updated, u know

2:14 PM

Yuriko: Sorry honey, I was in a meeting!

Yuriko: Do you maybe want to call? We can video chat, if you don’t want to talk, or we can talk, if you think this is one of those episodes.

Yuriko: Whenever you want though, I know you’re up in the skies now!

Yuriko: I’m here for you ❤️

Yuriko: Stay safe!

~*~

//It’s around a quarter past five now.

Kobashikawa - …

//He slides his shoes off, and nudges them off the bed before grabbing one of the many blankets tossed onto his bed, and cocooning himself inside it.

Kobashikawa - Aaaaa…

//He continues to stare at his phone, watching the cursor blink on the empty text box…

Kobashikawa - …I miss my mom…

//Then clicks on his mom’s contact, now hovering his finger over the “Call” button.

Kobashikawa - …

Kobashikawa - ……….

//Kerosene and copper and a sting in your nose and pain in your ears and tears in your eyes and blood on his face and waking up and sirens and sobs.

Kobashikawa - No no no no no no no nooo… let’s… let’s not, let’s not do that.

Kobashikawa - That’s… a bad idea.

//He turns off his phone, and throws it to the carpeted floor. Then, he frees himself from his blanket, trading it for a pillow which he uses to cover his face, and-

Kobashikawa, muffled - Aaaaaaaa…

Kobashikawa - AAAAAAAGH

//Finished with his attempt at ruining his vocal chords by screaming without opening his mouth, he stays still for a moment, before rolling off his bed, joining his shoes and phone on the floor.

//Once again, he takes a moment to… ? Before blindly grabbing for a blanket from his bed, with a surprising amount of success.

Kobashikawa, muffled - Mmmmm…

Kobashikawa, signing - Fuck… fuck fuck fuck.

//He lays still on the floor for a solid five minutes, before abruptly standing, and cleaning his things from the floor.

//Blanket and pillow back on the bed, shoes in the closet, and phone plugged in to charge.

Kobashikawa - …

Kobashikawa - I feel sick…

Kobashikawa - M’kay… uh oh, uh oh, let’s just…

Kobashikawa - I’m gonna take a bath, that’ll help, yeah?

Kobashikawa - That’ll help…

~*~

//Kobashikawa emerges from his bathroom, carefully drying his hair via microfiber towel, focusing on caring for the slight curl in his hair instead of addressing any of the actual issues in his life at the moment.

Kobashikawa - Keep this calm energy, keep this calm energy…

//He stands still, closing his eyes, and breathing deeply.

Kobashikawa - …Okay.

Kobashikawa - What do I need to get done…

Kobashikawa - Kisaragi and I are doing homework tomorrow, so I’m not concerned about that…

Kobashikawa - …I really want to fly.

Kobashikawa - What time is it?

//Kobashikawa grabs his phone- no new texts.

Kobashikawa - Oh… Ōtori’s shift isn’t over yet.

Kobashikawa - …Yeah, I’ll go get coffee, why not.

Kobashikawa - Maybe he’ll want to go fly with me when his shifts over…

//Kobashikawa pauses, thinking over his options for clothing; he puts on a undershirt, then a loose-fitting sweatshirt, and stares uncomfortably at his reflection.

Kobashikawa - …I got dressed sometime after 8, plus four hours makes sometime after 12…

Kobashikawa - But I went to my room to calm down, and can’t fly with it on, so… another hour to get to 1, making 5 hours,

Kobashikawa - Then I’d put it back on before class, making…

Kobashikawa - I mean, that is a bit over 6 hours, but not consecutively, and I just had it off, and I’ll take it back off if I go to fly…

Kobashikawa - …

//He removes his sweater and his shirt, grabbing a black binder from his laundry pile, and adding that to his outfit. The undershirt is tucked into his jeans, and the front hem of the sweater follows it, better helping to hide Kobashikawa’s figure.

Kobashikawa - …Ugh…

Kobashikawa - Good energy, good energy, good energy.

Kobashikawa - It’s cold out, this sweater is thin enough… I can add a overcoat, yeah.

//True to plan, he grabs an overcoat from his closet and pulls it on, fixing his collar, but not checking his reflection again.

Kobashikawa - …Mkay, I need to grab my phone…

Kobashikawa - …I’ll call later, not now.

Kobashikawa - Maybe I’ll ask for some flights out of HND…

//Kobashikawa takes a moment, fidgeting with his hands, and taking deep breaths before signing and placing his phone in his jacket pocket. He grabs a pair of gloves, and tugs them on as he opens the door to leave his dorm.

~*~

//Kobashikawa stands last in line behind three people- a duo, and one sole person in front of him. His eyes visibly widen, and he stills, before slowly grabbing his phone from his pocket. He rapidly types as the person in front of him orders.

Ōtori - Here you go… enjoy your drink.

??? - Thank you! Have a nice break.

Ōtori - You as well!

Ōtori - …Kobashikawa, I need to cut you off, this isn’t okay.

Kobashikawa - …

//He gives Ōtori a awkward smile, and holds his phone out at him.

Ōtori - …

Kobashikawa, via phone - TOP TEN REASONS YOU SHOULD COVER MY DRINK

1)I forgot my wallet back at the dorms and don’t want to walk back

2) We live in the same class area, and you’re always in my room anyways, you can literally steal my money anytime you want, so it’s not even on me to get the money to you, you can just grab it

3) I’ll tip you really really well for the amazing customer service

4) Please

5) I’ll tell Tsurugi and make it sound like you did something wrong

6) Please don’t make me walk back that would be so mean

7) Pretty privilege. Really I shouldn’t even have to pay. I’m amazing and so attractive and the sight of me is enough payment

8) I’m literally so cold I neeed a warm drink or I’ll die

9) And then you will be a murderer

Ōtori - …That’s nine reasons.

//Kobashikawa types again

Kobashikawa - 10) Please

Ōtori - You already said that!

Kobashikawa - And?

Ōtori - You’re so spoiled, and I hate you.

Kobashikawa - It’s okay Ōtori, I still love you, even when you talk to me like this.

Ōtori - Vanilla latte?

Kobashikawa - Yes please.

Ōtori - Fucking hell…

//Ōtori starts to make Kobashikawas drink.

Ōtori - Did you just bathe?

//He turns to watch Kobashikawa.

Kobashikawa - Mhm!

Ōtori - If you go out in the cold with wet hair, you could get sick.

Kobashikawa - I don’t want to blow dry it and kill it…

Ōtori - Hmm… one sec.

//Ōtori turns back to finish Kobashikawas drink, and passes it to him.

Kobashikawa - Thank youuu, I love youuu…

Ōtori - Yeah, yeah… what have you done since class got out?

Kobashikawa - Nothing much, I pretty much just took a bath and stressed over what to wear to seduce the cute guy working at the student store.

Ōtori, dryly - Yeah, checks out.

Kobashikawa - Mhm… such a shame you were here instead…

Ōtori - That’s it, I’m charging interest on your coffee.

Kobashikawa - Ah. Fair.

~*~

//We’ll return to Kobashikawa won’t communicate later, for now…

{Follow Maeda and the others to the market}

{Make sure she’s on time}

#dra #au #haruhiko kobashikawa #teruya ōtori #sdra2 #<- TERUYA SHOWS UP so i can tag that <3 #holiday event 2022

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tish-creeativity · 13 days

Text

April 12/24

Well, classes are finished and I am emotionally, spiritually, and physically spent. I had full intention of keeping up with the blog portion for this assignment. I even had notes that I had taken from the beginning of April just to keep or remind me of what we covered in the lectures along with my preliminary wire-framing sketch (pictures below), but that didn’t work out. Being the task manager of my grad group had taken over my life. It enveloped everything that I am and what I was meant to create for the grad show. I almost didn’t beat the deadline to submit my work.

Every job that I’ve had since I graduated high school Ive been given/handed leadership roles, such as supervisor, assistant supervisor, assistant manager, and manager. These roles were given to me because of my ability to take initiative. Like I’ve said before, it’s not in me to watch a ship sink especially when I’m on that ship. Over the years i have learned that to have a leadership role means more than showing up and doing the job. It means you have a team of people relying on you and looking at you for guidance. It means if your team isn’t getting along, that it is up to the leader to find some middle ground of compromise to where everyone can be content. Before I was given the title of task manager there were so many time I wanted to use the phrase, “A team is as only as good as its leader, and only as strong as it’s weakest link,” but I held my tongue because I didn’t want to put a bad spotlight on anyone. Although, there were many hiccups inside the team’s discord chat, we made it through. However, the reception was 6 days ago, I’m still dealing with he said, she said bs with 2 of my peers and I am trying my best to settle the dust. It honestly feels like I am the principal of a bunch of elementary school kids.

I had one particular peer that pretty much clamped at my hip & complained throughout the entirety of the show if she didn’t get exactly what she wanted she would find me and complain for hours. At this point I would hold a vote amongst my peers to find some middle ground, after all majority rules over all. There were many times where I just wanted to throw in the towel and tell them to do whatever the hell they wanted, it’s not in me to give up, not when I have people looking at me for answers.

Anyways, I feel this app assignment should have been assignment 1. Not only because it’s really time consuming, but for someone like me who struggles with technology and computer programs needs guidance to learn these types of things. It had taken 2 years for me to understand Adobe illustrator. Moreover, with the grad reception at the end of the year and to have this assignment mixed in was almost unattainable. It also didn’t help that only 6 out of 9 grads were actually putting in the work that was required to plan and execute the reception. Needless to say, some of my peers let me down & it had drained me emotionally.

0 notes

unschoolhome · 1 year

Text

When Plans Ruin Everything

I knew it was too much before I even got out of bed. But I snuggled Z and started the motor of my brain and made the pancakes and kept doing things the way I always do.

And was fought almost every step of the way.

X and Z had long emotional resistances this morning (multiple for Z). Everyone complained about helping fold laundry (despite having no clothes in their drawers upon waking this morning). All X and Y wanted to do this morning was make rows and shapes of dominoes and knock them down. This feels worthless. Beneath them. A waste of time and energy.

I felt angry, resentful, unheard, on the back foot.

Then I start thinking:

- All you do is play all day and I have to work, work, work for everyone else (chores). - Morning time is work time, why are you refusing to be productive during the time of day specifically reserved for maximum productivity? - I’m doing it wrong, I’m failing according to such and such standards. I feel so guilty and panicked that this is all wrong and there will be massive negative consequences.

I react to my feelings and inner monologue by disrupting what they are doing. I sever the many-tendriled, curling, flowering flow of the day with the snipping reminders of the to-do list. I honestly cringe hearing myself.

Guess what. It doesn’t go that well.

I end up feeling frazzled and overwhelmed by their dependence on me, their bad attitudes, and their lack of productivity.

Whereas before I interrupted, everyone was meaningfully engaged and cheerful. When I am less available, they are more independent.

This is a pattern I want to break. Here are my tools:

1. Recall what they are doing, will do, have done.

Just because it isn’t happening from 9-noon doesn’t mean it won’t (or hasn’t already) happened. We do most of our schoolwork 12:30-2pm, at breakfast, at dinner, afternoons, even before bedtime.

2. Think about what other education is actually like.

Is it better in school right now? If those kids are getting more academics, what are they exchanging? Less sunshine, less creative time, less conversation, less movement. Not worth it.

3. Do what I want to do.

If I want to be productive in the morning, I should do that. Clean bathrooms, cut up vegetables, put in laundry. Especially if the kids are meaningfully engaged, I can just get on with it. Does that feel good to me? Would I like to do something else with my time? If so, do that. No martyrs here.

4. Require less, invite more.

When the kids are interested, they engage. Relentlessly. If they aren’t entering into the study, it’s not interesting enough or it’s not the right fit for right now. Change things up and they will bring the energy.

5. Breaks are necessary.

I don’t care if we skip our read aloud for a few days, or pause a summer history study when other things are going on. We just pick it back up when we have time. Same should go for academic works. When it’s a priority, we’ll do it. Until then, rest is okay for absorption.

6. Give requirements clock times.

At 11:30, we are all going to stop what we’re doing and fold laundry. Let them manage their own time.

7. Do less.

Allow time for spontaneity each day by scheduling way less. It’s okay if the board is not full - we will come up with something. Even boredom is not something to be afraid of. (Even though I am, I really am.)

8. Who is it for?

Who is this education for? Is it for the public, the government, the lawmakers, the future? Is it for the child, for my edification, for an experiment? A strengths-based education is going to feel lopsided at times (and I really do get sick of my kids interests and proclivities). But who is it for? And if they were in school, would they be eagerly absorbing everything equally or just getting through some classes any way they could and finding subversive ways to carve time for their true interests (like I did)?

9. I’m not in charge.

This year it has really hit home that I am not in charge. The kids have personalities, talents, interests, and developmental patterns that are inherent. I want to amplify their voices, not shut them down. I have influence, but they are sovereign. And, see #1, I am making sure they get lots of skills work outside their particular interests and proclivities. So I use my limited power for their best benefit and they ultimately have to take it somewhere.

10. I am learning.

Growth, change. Not just for kids. Every day brings new lessons and new chances for me too. Today I saw that there isn’t enough time for everything and I am the one interrupting some of the learning going on. It’s not about avoiding conflict or making everyone happy or justifying my choices. It’s about getting closer to who I want to be and how I want to live - all possible ways of which are imperfect.

When I feel the same old pitfall coming on - when I can see it out my windshield - please God help me try a new direction, even off the beaten path. It may be scary but this is our one precious life. Risks must be taken.

And grace given. Today was still full of goodness.

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amtopmthoughts · 1 year

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They say you should write about what you know and so I did. I wrote about myself. About me and my life, my fears, my heartbreaks and all the steps I’ve taken to being my truest, most honest self thus far. I’m the subject I know best, I’m the subject I love most.

This book was born out of all the necessities I needed to suppress. My excruciating need to find who I am and what I’m doing here. The haunting need to understand, myself, those around me and the world. The waking need to love myself authentically, fiercely, unapologetically and whole heartedly. The need to feel less alone, to relate, to resonate.

I know I’ll keeping learning who I am. I know that even when I think I know who I am, I’ll keep finding out new things. We’re ever evolving creatures, constantly changing, always shedding old skin.

I always knew I wanted to write but for some reason I always leaned towards telling stories about fictional characters. Mostly because I often found myself living in fantasy worlds where everything was exactly as I imagined. It has been a journey trying to find the balance between what is and what I wanted it to be, accepting that almost anything happens the way we planned but that we should never give up on trying to shape our life into what we envision for ourselves. I try to create the reality I want to live in. I curate my life meticulously. This required me to let go of some of the visions I had to make way for new, better ones, to let go of some fantasies to embrace other realities. I had to let go of what it was supposed to be to be able to embrace what the truth actually was. Something I struggled with for a long, long time. I kept fighting change, non-happy endings, the break-ups, the friendships that didn’t last, anything that wasn’t ideal, perfect or that didn’t fit into the plan that I had. Without ever realizing that there is no fighting any of it, it will happen, and trying to avoid it, trying to resist it, will only bring us more hurt. But it also required me to fight really hard for what I believed in and for what I wanted for myself, even when everyone kept trying to tell me that didn’t happen, that that was a fantasy. I heard countless times things like You’ll never find someone like that. You watch too many movies. The wedding of your dreams will never happen. You live in a world of fantasy. You must think everything is that easy. You can’t have it all, it’s not possible.

I’m twenty-three years old. I haven’t got married yet, I haven’t met that person yet, either. Maybe I won’t get married, and if I do, maybe it won’t be at all like I’ve always imagined. Maybe I’ll never meet that person. Maybe I won’t get to live the life I envision for myself. I don’t know. I don’t know what the future holds for me. But I do know one thing: this fantasy, this imagination, it’s what has kept me alive until now. It’s the hope that everything will fall into place, that everything will work out, that everything will be okay. The hope that things will happen is what makes me want to be alive, to be here to live them when they happen.

So, in this book, I tell stories, but not stories about people who only exist in my head. I tell stories about me and the most real people and things I know. This book is me, whole-heartedly me. I laid myself bare naked on these pages. I confessed to things I had never even said out loud before and it freed me, it made me more human. Being so vulnerable never made me feel so strong. Hope you can relate in some way, maybe resonate with some of the things you’ll read. If you do, know that you’re not alone. Ever.

I hope you love it.

Afraid of the Dark and Closed Doors

I was an only child – up until I was 9 years old. Another story for another time. – so I spent a lot of time by myself. I wasn’t the most adventurous kid so I didn’t spend much time outside and I didn’t really have any friends outside of school that I could play with. I spent my days either playing house or with Barbies or watching Disney or Barbie movies alone in my room. I never closed the door. My house wasn’t that big but we had a big hallway and my bedroom was on one end of the house and the kitchen and living room was on the other end, which is where my mom always was. So we were always a bit far away from each other. Even though I wasn’t alone at home, most times it felt like it, most times I couldn’t even hear her unless she was on the phone. I was never big on silence. Every time there was silence and I felt alone in that silence, I felt vulnerable and subjected to anything that could come and hurt me.

Now, I realize most people, when they feel threatened by something, they feel the need to isolate, to keep the danger away, to keep the danger on the other side of the door. So the danger can’t get to them and hurt them. So they be protected. But I felt the exact opposite. If I was isolated, behind a close door, I didn’t feel that would keep the danger away from me, I felt like I would just be alone with the danger. Like the danger could walk right through my bedroom door, like the door wasn’t going to stop the danger from getting to me. If anything, it would only make me a better target because I was there alone in my bedroom and since the door was closed that made it all the more difficult for anyone standing on the other side of the door to come and save me.

I don’t know where this stems from. I don’t know why I’ve always had this fear. Now that I’m bigger, I’m not that afraid of it. I can be in a room with the door closed, I can even sleep with the door closed. If that makes me uncomfortable me or not, it all depends if I’m feeling more or less vulnerable. If I’m doing alright, I won’t give it much thought, but if I’m going through a hard time, I’ll just won’t be able to.

I’m a twenty-three-year-old girl (woman?) and I’m afraid of the dark. The only time I can be in the dark is when I wake up in the middle of the night to go the bathroom and make my way to it when no lights are on, and my house is never too dark because the blinds are always open. When the power goes out I kind of freak out a little. Up until a year ago, maybe, I slept with my bedroom blinds completely open. I don’t know if I feel better now since I’m able to sleep with the blinds closed but, again, it all depends, on how I’m feeling. Some days I’ll sleep safe and soundly and on some days I’ll either open the blinds a little or I’ll get up and turn the light on the living room on so it illuminates my bedroom a little.

A boyfriend I had once hid from me while the house was completely silent and dark so he could scare me. It was a harmless prank that made me very anxious. Being in the dark, no noise to be heard of, knowing someone was out there somewhere, but that I didn’t know where, ready to come out of the dark and just scream at me, I can’t even begin to describe how unsettled I felt. And it happens every time someone does that to me. Again, I don’t know where this stems from or if it can be resolved but maybe some day I’ll get there.

Boxes

My parents separated when I was about six years old. Since then, I’ve spent the weekends with my grandma – with whom my dad had come to live with when my mom packed his things and dropped them at my grandma’s house where he lived before moving in with her and where he still lives at to this day. My dad wasn’t nor isn’t the most warming person and so I guess he didn’t really know what to do with a kid my age, especially a girl. So, at home, I only spent time with my grandma while he was in his room watching tv.

My grandma’s house only had two room’s, hers and my dad’s and because I was only there on weekends and only slept there two to three nights a week, they never got me a bed. I slept on a small, slim mattress on my dad’s bedroom floor. I woke up early, as I believe all kids do on weekends, to watch cartoons. I never quite understood that phenomenon: how all kids have such a hard time waking up for school but wake up so willingly and gladly early on weekends to watch cartoons. I guess it’s because they’re doing something for fun, something just for them, because isn’t always fun, right?

I would have breakfast at the dining room table. My grandma was poor. She didn’t live with any luxuries so she didn’t have a couch. So we never called it living room even though we used the space as it were and always call it dining room, because it didn’t have a couch, only a table and chairs and we always watched TV sitting on those chairs, with our arms on the table. Maybe the back pain I have today is because of all the countless hours I spent watching TV on those not so comfortable dining chairs.

I would come to the kitchen every now and then to check on my grandma while she made lunch. She more often than not made three different lunches. One for me, one for my dad, one for her. My grandma is from Alentejo so she would always make something typical from there for her, something very specific for my dad – because he is very demanding, and something specific for me too because she always cooked my favorite meals – and because I guess I’m demanding, too.

Right before lunch my dad would emerge from his bedroom and join us. He would take a seat at the table and nag me about my table manners and repeatedly threaten to turn off the TV because I would often interrupt my eating to pay attention to the TV. I never really liked eating. When I was younger, my mom had to leave the kitchen and go into another room to leave me alone because I wouldn’t shut up and so I would take hours to finish my dinner.

After lunch he’d get ready for us to go to the cinema. This was our thing, or one of the two things we did together – that and going to the park on Sunday. Movies on Saturday and going to the park on Sunday.

I loved going to the movies. It was where I mostly learned how to speak and write in English. Because I learned to speak, read and write so fast in my own language, I could go see plus twelve years old movies and read and keep up with the subtitles from a very young age.

In these movies there were these characters who lived inside these worlds who inspired me. Every time I came out of the theatre room, I’d come out a different person. I’d absorb the character I’d like most and make all efforts to turn into them. I’d try and talk like the character, speak and behave like the character, I would try to be the character. The thing would me is, ever since I was a little girl, I’ve tried to be everything and anything, anyone, any character, but myself. I lived desperately to define me, to define who I was. The thing about the characters was that they were wholesome. They had this “style” and everything about them revolved around that same style: the way they dressed, the music they listened to, the people they surrounded themselves with, they were all in consonance. So I wanted to be one of those characters, I wanted to be wholesome, I wanted to be “a thing”. I wanted to have a personal, specific style, I wanted to listen to a specific type of music, and read certain genres of books and watch certain genres of movies. I wanted to fit inside of a box. I wanted to figure myself out completely. I wanted to understand me. I wanted to understand who I was. It was easier to know who I was if I was just one thing, if all that I was, all that I did and said was related, all part of the same scheme.

But somehow, I could never do it. I fought it for years. I have been fighting it for years. For example, I listen to a lot of types of music. My playlist has everything from the Hannah Montana soundtrack to classics of the eighties to some of the latest Top 40 hits. But this was against the whole “fitting into a box” thing. So, one day, I deleted basically all of my playlist. I thought “The type of person I want to be doesn’t listen to this. The type of person I want to be listens to this specifically.”. But this strategy didn’t work, because it didn’t make me happy. Because I couldn’t listen to the music I wanted.

I understood over time I couldn’t actually fit me inside a box, because there’s more than four sides to me. I can be anything and everything. I’m a walking paradox. I like to listen to AC/DC and 2000s R&B and I realize this is so cool. I love being this way, but I also hate being this way. I love that I can’t fit myself into a box, but I also hate that I can’t fit myself into a box. It’s very hard for me to accept it. Maybe because I’m still struggling with finding who I am and it’s hard for me to not know who I am even if I know that there is normal. Maybe I’ll never know exactly who I am. Maybe I’ll be constantly learning who I am, maybe I’ll live my life learning things about myself. And even though I know it’s okay and I can’t really be okay with it and I don’t know really know why, but I hope I’ll at least figure that one out, if anything less.

Dead Weight

I’ve had problems with my weight all my life. And even though I it didn’t become a serious issue up until a few years ago, I distinctively remember being ten and noticing the stomach rolls I already had at that age. I was never thin but I don’t think I was ever fat, either. I hate these adjectives and I hate that being considered “fat” has such a negative connotation. I hate that being called “fat” is an offense whilst being called “thin” is a compliment. You usually tell someone they’re thin as something good like “good on you that you’re so thin, that must mean you feel so good about yourself, that you’re working on yourself”. Being fat must mean you hate yourself. How could you let yourself go like this? How could you not eat and exercise properly? Do you hate your body so much that you don’t even take care of it? Eating all that garbage food that’s bad for you and ruins and your insides – and outside – and then sitting in your couch all day watching Netflix. You must hate yourself or else you wouldn’t do all those things, you wouldn’t self-destruct like that.

It isn’t exactly like that. Yes, maybe you haven’t been liking yourself very much. Maybe you haven’t been liking what you see when you see yourself reflected in the mirror. The thing is: loving yourself is not self-destructing but is not exhausting yourself to look thin, either. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable with yourself, is that you feel good inside your body, inside your skin. You have to love yourself. Every minute of every day. You have to love yourself even when you don’t like yourself very much. You have to love yourself through the whole process, at your worst, while you’re trying to be better, to get better, and after you’ve achieved the goals you set for yourself.

But we, as humans, go through things. Life happens and sometimes we get sad. So sad that we can’t leave the couch and that our mind – our own self – is so far away from our body that all we can handle is a show on Netflix or a movie we’ve watched a thousand times that we don’t have to be present for, that we don’t have to pay attention to. We stay absent-minded.

Sometimes, we are so deep in our hurting that we can’t manage to get out of it. We just can’t help but self-sabotage and become even worse. If you’re anything like me, the worse you feel, the worst decisions you’ll make and you can’t really bring yourself to do what’s best for you, which only makes you feel even worse than you already felt. But, as I’ve learned recently, you can never abandon yourself. You have to keep going, you have to keep moving. You can’t give up. If you’re struggling with your weight – or anything really – it’s okay if one day you’re sipping down pineapple and spinach juice and eating healthy and going out for walks or even exercising and the next day you’re feeling like shit, like you can’t even lift a finger, let alone get yourself to clean up your house, or study, or go to work – or anything at all. Healing is not linear. It’s not a straight, continuous line. You can be good one day and bad another day. What matters is you don’t give up on yourself. What matters is you try.

The problem is not your weight – the weight gain is a consequence. The problem is our insecurities, the things that struck us and takes by storm. The things that leave us vulnerable and exposed, feeling the worst version of ourselves. Sometimes, if they hit just the right spot, especially if the insecurity is already there, they can make you rethink everything and make you doubt yourself and ultimately feel like shit. Because it’s not the weight that sucks all the life out of your body. It’s not the weight that makes you feel powerless, hopeless and out of control of your own body – and your own mind. The problem is your mind playing tricks on you. The problem is you’re sick. When you heal your mind, everything else heals, everything else falls into place.

When I say I’ve always had problems with my weight but not until recently it has become a problem, I mean that even though I noticed my weight and my body form and those of other girls, it didn’t pose a problem or a threat. The thing is, it wasn’t until I was about ten years old that I started to feel that social pressure to look a certain way. Which is crazy to think: a ten-year-old girl comparing herself to other ten-year-old girls. Before ten we don’t care about those things, about impressing. But suddenly we’re ten and we start wanting to impress boys in recess.

As I grew up and my body grew with me, my body kept in the same registry – not thin but not fat either. As a teenager I was considered hot by some people’s standards and caught the attention of some guys. I wouldn’t be honest if I said that that didn’t make me feel good about myself – the compliments, being wanted… desired.

Recently I heard about something called “Brain Reward System” and even though I don’t know how to explain it very well, basically it means that by rewarding yourself with something, even if you don’t have any particular reason to, we’re activating hormones (I think) that makes us feel good and happy.

On what it started to be my lowest point until now, I felt miserable and eating whatever I wanted and comforted me, somehow, was like a reward to me, even though it only made feel worse. The worse I felt, the more it happened, I fell into this cycle. The sadder I felt the more I permitted myself to eat pizza or hot dogs or hamburgers and then the more I felt bad about myself for eating all that and for worsening my state of being. It was like eating what I wanted was a relief from everything else. I felt sad so I let myself eat what I wanted so I could feel better. I felt accommodated but I didn’t feel better. I felt worse. Every. Damn. Time. Physically and emotionally.

This, along with my chronic laziness, was the recipe for (my) disaster. I’ve never liked exercising. As a kid, my parents tried to get me into sports and I did try some – ballet, swimming, gymnastics, acrobatic gymnastics, some dance class thing. I wasn’t keen on any of them and eventually gave up on every one of them, one by one. I even did a yoga class once. I think I have attention deficit so you can imagine how hard it was for me to sit in silence – as I’ve mentioned before, I’m not very fond of silence – not being able to talk nor make any sound or move... I could only move into a position the instructor… instructed when the instructor instructed. I just had to breathe. Be still, be quiet, and breathe. It was hell. Actually, I think I would really like it now, but back then, it was simply hell, all sixty minutes (or however much time it was) of it.

I even joined a gym when I was sixteen or seventeen, encouraged by a then friend who wanted me to join with her but it didn’t last long. A few months after I joined another gym with another friend who was even lazier than I was. But that time didn’t last either. I didn’t – and I don’t – have something that is essential to be able to take on that kind of commitment – discipline. Something I desperately need to work on… a lot. Isn’t that the whole exercise thing? Consistency? Well, the only thing that has been consistent in my life has been, well, inconsistency… and instability. Go figure.

The years that followed were filled with (empty) promises of one day returning. Meanwhile, life happened, as life does. My sedentary lifestyle and other things didn’t help my case. Fast forward to the year of 2020 and we’re living a global pandemic. Covid-19. Most of us were sent home and the only job they gave us was: stay home. (even though I went out a few times). I didn’t become desperate as I saw most of the people I know become, forced to stay home. It didn’t bother me to have to stay home. To say the truth, I didn’t like my job, I wasn’t studying at the time and had very few things to look forward to. To put it simply, I didn’t like my life very much and didn’t have much to miss from my “normal”, “covid-less” life, so I was looking forward to staying at home and doing all the things I already did, like watching movies and bingeing TV shows.

Of course, being aware of the weight I had gained in the last couple of years, one of the first thoughts I had about being forced to stay home was, “now you’ll have plenty of time to exercise”. Some influencer from my country started doing Instagram lives doing sixteen-minute exercises with her Personal Trainor boyfriend. It felt like someone was indirectly calling me out. So I headed the call. I got up and started moving. I quickly outgrew them, sixteen minutes felt like it wasn’t much and wouldn’t do much. I was excited, ready and hungry for more. I started doing Pamela Reif and Chloe Ting’s – two other names for Devil – training programs. Everything was going great until… something happened. I found that my boyfriend had cheated on me. At first, the anger I felt served as a boost of energy. I felt empowered, all that “revenge body” stuff and whatever. But when reality sunk in, things changed. The anger turned into sadness and that demotivated me. I went back to the couch quicker than you can say “Ahhh!”. I pretty much felt like shit. And when I feel like shit, when I feel sad, I sink into my sadness. I drown in my own tears, in my own thoughts, in my own feelings, in my own sadness.

Long story short, I stopped. And that was when all that “Brain Reward System” stuff came in to play. I had highs and lows. I’ve felt like shit most of the time. I can’t count all the times I heard a relative or a friend say something like “It wouldn’t hurt you to lose some weight, you know?” and I would put on a happy face and made a joke about it so it wouldn’t feel like it made me uncomfortable. Isn’t it amazing (or awful) how we do anything to try and accommodate those who make us uncomfortable or make us feel bad about ourselves? I knew I should have said something like “How about you mind your own damn business?” or something along the lines of “Do I happen to eat at your house?”. But I could never do that, I could never be rude to them like they were to me, even if that’s what they deserved, because if they don’t want rudeness as a response, they shouldn’t be rude in the first place.

If you ask me, I’m a firm believer in simply not commenting on people’s bodies. It’s not your place to. People have mirrors, people know what look like. People know their habits, people know how they feel.

I think I could never go through with anything because I always had the wrong reasons: I was doing it for the others. For the approval of others. So I could go to the beach with my friends and get “she’s really hot looks” instead of “wow, she got really fat” looks. I can’t count all the times I wondered if whether I should go and felt miserable the minute I got there. I can’t count how many times I sucked my stomach in for photos or tried to hide my fat arms or tried to find the perfect angle so my double chin wouldn’t make an unwanted appearance. All so I wouldn’t be judged by those who watched my Instagram stories. All the times I switched outfits countless times trying to find the perfect outfit – meaning, the outfit that didn’t make me look (so) fat – and stood in the mirror hating myself. All the times I cried because my size 34 jeans didn’t fit me anymore.

Recently, I went back to exercising. All of a sudden, I just got up, turned YouTube on my TV, searched for a HIIT exercise with a Broadway musical choreography – because if I have to exercise, at least let me have a little fun while doing it. When I was done, I put on a Claudia Sulewski’s video – one of my favorite Youtubers, one of the few I still look out for – where she’s stretching and kind of meditating and breathing at the same time.

So I’m there, sitting on my living room floor, in front of the TV, crossed legged with my hands sitting on each of my thighs. I closed my eyes and I start crying. Compulsively crying. I felt so full of emotions, so happy for having moved my body for twenty minutes. I really had done it. I had done it.

It’s been a while since I’ve written those words. I haven’t exercised since the day after the one I was writing about. I’ve fallen from that two-day wagon. But I’ll get back on it, eventually, I know it. I’ll gather the courage to do it. I’ll be better enough to make it. When I do, maybe I’ll fall off the wagon again, maybe after two days, maybe after two weeks. Maybe I’ll be back on it a few days later, perhaps it will be a few weeks later. I hope one day I’ll be able to do it consistently. Until then, I’ll keep trying.

Boys and Houses

Yesterday I went to my old house. I didn't come in, of course. We parked the car on the beginning of the street and got out of the car and started walking the street's houses pathway. We walked by my neighbors’ house but didn't see them. The blinds were drawn/closed.

The now owners of my old house were home. Their car was parked outside and there were flip flops outside at the door. Everything was exactly the same and very different at the same time. Now, there's a big dog on the patio instead of my small cat. The pool area is filled with some plants and flowers my mom had planted when we lived there that were now grown and some the new owners planted. The garage we turned into a guest room was turned into a garage again. The entrance doors were changed to newer, more modern ones. The house had been painted. It felt weird and peaceful to look at the same horizon view. I felt like in some weird way that was still my house, even though I didn't live there but instead strange people I've never seen. I think I would go back if I could, I think I would like to live there again. When I left, I was happy to, I enjoyed the house but I've never loved living there. We had moved against my will. I didn't want to leave my former home where I had lived for almost twenty years. My whole life. I didn't want to leave the house where I had birthday parties and dinners with friends and sleepovers and fights with my ex-boyfriend. Where I had shared so many kisses, even my first time. That bedroom heard me cry myself to sleep every night for weeks when my boyfriend broke with me. That house welcomed other boys I had brought there after that in an attempt to fill the void the house was left with after he left and welcomed friends who turned to not friends. That house watched me grow and was with me through all my changes and phases.

So I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to be an hour away from my friends. I resented living in that house. I resented being so isolated and alone and living in an area I didn't know anyone let alone have any friends. I resented having to take a fifteen-minute car ride to take a forty-minute-long bus ride to then have to take the subway and other buses and or trains to take me where I wanted to go. I resented that whenever I had a party or birthday dinner I had to stay at other people's homes because I couldn't catch a bus at four or five am in the morning because there was none and because I wouldn’t be able to get from the terminal to my house either way. I resented that I had to bring everything everywhere with me because I needed my things with me if I was going to stay the night. I resented the whole thing, the whole time. Because of other reasons, in two thousand and nineteen, I moved to England. For a month (I intended to stay longer but more on that on some other time). And my mom told me she was going to sell the house while I was still there. She got divorced and was left alone there now that I was living in another country. She didn't want to live there alone, so far away from everything. Supermarkets, pharmacies, hospitals, you name it. So she wanted to leave even though she didn't really want to go. She loved it there. She had to leave. But I was happy. I was finally going to be in the city again, among people again and close to my friends again. That was one of the reasons I wanted to leave England even more.

I was excited. I started planning the decoration from afar. Being who I am, I elaborated a PowerPoint presentation with furniture options, from cheaper to more expensive to help my mother choose. I thought about how my room was going to be.

Fast forward a few months after and I'm closer to my friends. In fact, I had never lived closer to most of my friends, I've even become neighbors with one of my best friends. But it surprised me to realize that didn't change anything. I didn't see my friends more now that I was closer to them, in fact I was seeing them less because the truth is I had never felt more alone or isolated or alienated from people.

I began missing it. The house, the place. I began wondering if I was starting to regret the move. Or the fact that I let my mom move. I'm still wondering if I regret it to this day.

Today, I drove by my old, old house. The one I lived in before my last one. I don't really have any particular feelings towards it anymore. I feel okay, I feel normal. I've made my peace with the fact that I left a long time ago. I've had closure. I no longer miss it or feel sad thinking about all the memories I had from my years living in that house. Every time I drive by that building I smile and think "oh, that's my house" and that is it.

I've come to think that what I feel about those two houses is a lot similar to what I feel about my ex-boyfriends. My first boyfriend, my ex, ex-boyfriend, is my first house, my ex-ex house. I still acknowledge him every time he drives by because he's the one with a car and I'm the one who always walks. I still smile. I still remember all the moments which have turned into memories. I still even feel kind of giddy. But I feel okay, I feel normal. I don't feel sad or hurt. I've also made my peace with our relationship and how it ended. I no longer miss him. I just think "oh, that's him" and that is it. My second boyfriend, my ex-boyfriend, is my old house, my last house, the last one I abandoned. I still feel sad and hurt. I still feel regret. I haven't had any closure and I feel no peace regarding him or anything related to him.

I realize this is a good analogy. I'm not hurting because I liked my second house better, even though I think I did. It's because I still haven't processed it all. I loved my first house but in time, it took its place, just like I loved my first boyfriend but he also took his place in my life and my heart. A different, more settling place. And once I've processed my ex-boyfriend, I'll feel like that, too. At peace, settled. And with the house, too.

I Have a Sister

On a Sunday morning of November two thousand and nine I woke up in grandma’s house where she lived with my dad. I woke up in the middle of the night, took a look at my dad’s bed and saw that he wasn’t there. I wasn’t surprised, my dad always went out on weekend nights and he always came home late. I woke up later in the morning and then I was surprised to see he hadn’t come home. I went to say good morning to my grandma and ask for my dad and she told me he had stayed at my mom’s place. “Weird”, I thought. Could this mean they actually had spent the night together? Could this mean they were getting back together? I didn’t really suffer with my parent’s separation – from what I can remember, at least – but the thought of them getting back together made me sort of happy, hopeful. Who wouldn’t want their parents together? Who wouldn’t want their parents to date each other instead of other people? All the messiness would be over. We would finally be a family, a unity. We would all live in the same house. I liked the idea.

A few hours later they both came to pick me up. Together. At the time, my mom already had her own beauty salon but she still worked independently in various beauty salons, so she would travel to those places every now and then, especially on weekends. I remember my mom’s car being at the shop so my dad was taking her to these places on that weekend. We went together. As soon as I got to the car, they were silent. There was tension in the air. My fantasy was immediately destroyed. There was no way they were back together. Happy people who just got back together don’t look like that.

After my mom was done with her work my dad drove us home. I felt even more weird when he didn’t just drop us off, he came with us. The whole thing, the whole day was weird. Something didn’t add up. Something was happening.

From what I can recall, they closed the kitchen door and stood there, talking. I went to my room. I didn’t pay too much attention to it and I didn’t even try to hear their conversations. They’re the adults, whatever it’s going on, they’ll figure it out.

A few hours later, my dad emerged from the kitchen and called out to me from the foyer. I came to him and he said goodbye to me. He left. A few moments later, my mom went to take a shower. She always had the bathroom door open and I always had my bedroom door open and the bathroom was very close to my bedroom so when she started crying, I heard her immediately.

My mom never tried to shield me from her feelings. My mom never tried to shield me from anything. I always knew how she was feeling, good or bad, which made me feel like I always needed to accommodate her and her feelings, so she could feel. Actually, I had no other choice. This led me to keep most of my feelings to myself. I felt like there was no space for me or my feelings, only for her and hers. There was no space for the both of us to completely be ourselves, share our feelings and just completely get loose and freak out. I had to refrain myself from sharing what I felt because she took all the space and energy for herself, there was none left for me. I had to let her have her moment. Whenever we’re in the car driving somewhere and the GPS we’ll send us somewhere different than what is supposed to, she’ll freak out, she’ll completely lose it. She becomes desperate. She doesn’t like to drive to places she doesn’t know, she doesn’t like to get lost and she has very low tolerance for things that slip under her control. She can’t keep herself together. She can’t calm herself. She cries. She screams. She loses control. She’s desperate. That’s what she did that afternoon. She cried. She screamed. She lost control. She was desperate.

I stood at the bathroom door and looked at her standing, sobbing in the bathtub, holding the shower head. I asked her “What happened?”. She said “Your dad has another daughter. She’s two.” I was in shock. I didn’t know what to say. I was ten. I was flooded with questions: What? What do you mean? What do you mean my dad has another child? And she’s two? How am I only hearing about this know? Why didn’t he told us he was having a baby? He tells us now??? Two years later??? Nothing about this made any sense to me. It was all too messed up to understand, even for my little ten-year-old brain, because clearly even my thirty-two-year-old mother was having a hard time with all of this.

I can’t quite remember what she said to me next. I think she explained me what she knew, what my dad had told her the night before. That’s why my dad never came home, he was at my mom’s house for some reason and I guess he thought she was in a good mood so he felt like it was a good time to tell her and he slept there because I guess she was too upset to be alone. And that’s why they were silent and weird in the car and the whole afternoon. That made sense now. She told my aunt, her sister, and her husband and we all went to have dinner together. My mom was very shaken up. She was so sad, so upset. Seeing her react like that to such news highly influenced, it shaped and defined how I saw, perceived and treated the situation from the first moment I knew about it. My aunt and respective husband kept saying how good it was that I had a sister and that I had to meet her. It was my obligation. She was my sister.

It was weekend again and my dad came to pick me up like he did every Friday night. We almost didn’t talk the whole ride to my grandma’s house. When we arrived, he parked the car but it was clear to me that I wasn’t supposed to leave the car yet. He paused and we were in silence for a few seconds. I felt terribly nervous and anxious and I just wanted to ignore the obvious, I just wanted to pretend nothing had happened, that nothing was happening. I wanted to avoid the conversation that we were about to have. I wanted to avoid what I thought or felt about the situation. He said to me “I know you already know” and I said “Yes.”. I can’t remember the conversation in detail, but I remember him telling me it wasn’t supposed to happen like that. He told me they had reached a conclusion together after my mom knew the truth: Let’s wait for the school to finish so this doesn’t affect Beatriz’s grades. Then, we’ll tell her together. And then, if she agrees to it and feels good about it, we’ll arrange a meeting and we’ll introduce he two of them in some neutral place to both of them so them can both feel safe. “But your mother ruined it.”, he said.

He was right. My mom did ruin it. My mom was utterly selfish. My mom was overcome with emotion, with frustration and anger and she didn’t shield me from any of it. She passed it on to me. I don’t have children, I am not a mother, so I don’t really know what I’m talking about, but I really do believe that being a parent means putting your children first. It doesn’t mean you stop caring for yourself completely, but it does mean that you have to set whatever feelings you’re having aside for their own good, for their safety, for their well-being. It means that if you have to swallow your feelings to protect, that’s what you do. I’m not trying by any means to say parents should be miserable so their kids can be happy, what I’m saying is the exact opposite. I was miserable because my mom was miserable. I was sad because I saw and felt her sadness. If she had been happy about the situation, I would have been radiant… knowing that I had a sister. But she took that away from me. She handled the situation poorly. She didn’t take a moment to collect herself, to check herself, to dive into her feelings. She didn’t take a moment to think “I can’t pass the feelings I’m having on to her. I can’t say anything while I still have so much anger towards the situation. We have a plan. I’ll stick to the plan. I’ll suffer in silence, for now, until it is the right time for her to know.” She did the exact opposite. She hijacked the plan. She got ahead of herself and the plan because what she was feeling was hurting her so much that she couldn’t keep it to herself, she had to share the load with me, her ten-year-old child, because it was too heavy for her to carry alone.

My dad asked me if I still wanted to meet his other daughter – my sister – and I said yes even though I wasn’t totally sure I did. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to meet her, of course, it was just that I didn’t all the hurt and messiness that came with that. I wanted to avoid it all costs.

All this happened somewhere between September and November of two thousand and nine. I was in fifth grade. A few weeks later, my dad asked me if I wanted to go to her birthday party. She was turning two. In November. November twentieth. My birthday is on January twentieth. I said yes, once again without knowing if I actually wanted to go. He said he would be so happy if I went. It would make him very happy if I did – My mom is not the only one who knows how to manipulate her child – so I did. I could never say no to him. I could never disappoint him. I could never break his heart. I could never say no, disappoint or break anyone’s heart, actually. Even if that meant saying no to or disappoint myself or break my own heart.

He also told me we weren’t going to tell my mom, not until after we went to the party. He said that if we told her before, she was going to be very upset and that she wouldn’t want us to go (or that she wouldn’t let us go, I’m not sure). We didn’t want to upset but we also wanted to go so we would her we had gone to the party after we had gone to the party. This, he told me, would avoid all problems and messiness. I knew she would in fact be upset and that she wouldn’t want me to go but my dad said we would go, so we went. Without my mother knowing.

It didn’t feel right. Any of it. I was so nervous, so anxious. I was just trying to get through it and survive. We were in the car on our way there and Eternal Flame by The Bangles was playing on the radio. It would never be the same listening to that song again. We arrived there and it’s all a big blur. I don’t remember much, but I do remember a lot of people. Strangers. I remember it being kind of dark because it was winter and it was evening so the sun was out since a couple hours ago. I don’t remember being there for too long before I got a call from my mom, I don’t even remember seeing her – my sister. When the phone rang and saw on the screen that I was my mom, I handed it over to my dad, but he rejected it. “You pick it up”, he said. I insisted. I wanted him to handle the situation, I wanted him to talk to my mom, I wanted him to take care of it, but he resisted it. I picked up. My mom asked me where I was. I lied and said we were at the park. She asked me again, she asked me if I was sure. I was so nervous I felt sick. I handed the phone over to my dad again, panicking, and he finally took it. I only remember my mom saying on the phone “I will run you over with a car.” May I remind you: I was ten.

We left and my dad took me to my other grandma’s – my mom’s mom – house. When we arrived, my dad asked me to come up and ask my grandma to come down. They talked. My mom went to come and pick me up there after. Everything that happened between is a blur to me, I only remember coming home and not understanding if my mom was upset with me or just upset, period. We barely spoke. She was mad. Noticeably mad. She was furious. She also took away my phone so I wouldn’t call or receive calls from my dad. I was forbidden to speak to him and stopped going over to my grandma’s house on the weekends. This went on for months.

The first time I talked to my dad about what had happened after all those times without speaking, I could see how bothered he was about the whole situation – obviously. I could see he was sad even. I think at the time he asked me if I wanted for us to try again but I don’t remember what I answered. Truth is I was scared. That hadn’t been where I didn’t think about the whole situation, about the fact that I had a sister who I didn’t know, whose house I’d been to, whose birthday party I’d attended but whose face I didn’t really remember. A sister who knew I existed and who knew I knew she existed, too, even though she was probably too little to understand anything.

Today, she is fourteen. And she gets to have a sibling, a person with her own blood coursing through her veins, walking the streets like nothing had happened, but she doesn’t get to have a sister. We never got to meet. After that, I never got up the courage to go through the whole thing again. Everything that happened just made me associate so much trauma to it, to meeting her, to her. Just thinking about it takes me back to such a hard place. Just thinking of going back there, of going through it again, makes me feel scared and anxious. And I know it’s not my fault. I know that I was a kid, too. I know that I didn’t know better. I know the adults failed us. Both of us. They did everything wrong, everything that could possibly go wrong, did. But it’s not her fault, either. I was ten but she was a baby and she’s probably living life thinking I don’t want to meet her. Thinking I don’t think about her. But I do. Every day. She doesn’t know I took a picture with my phone of a picture of her my dad has in his room and keep it in my phone’s camera roll. Maybe she doesn’t even care. I was never part of her life, she can’t miss what she never had. Maybe she even thinks she’s better off without me. Maybe she feels that she doesn’t want to meet someone who she thinks doesn’t want to meet her. But I can’t help but feel that my trauma isn’t a good enough excuse to keep me from meeting her. I feel like us meeting depends on me, the responsibility falls on my shoulders, like I have to fix what others broke. I keep thinking that if I really wanted to meet her, I already would have. But I’m not brave enough, I feel that I wouldn’t be able to deal with what would come with it.

My dad and I never talk about it. We pretend it’s not a thing. We pretend it never existed. He never talks to me about her. We mentioned it a couple of times over the years. He told me he wouldn’t try anymore, he told me he wouldn’t push me. He told me that if I wanted to meet her, then I would have to say something. But he said this with anger and disappointment in his voice. He also told me she knew I existed and she knew that I knew she existed as well and that she felt because “her sister doesn’t to meet her”. Of course he was trying to make me feel bad and guilty and it worked.

My mom was wrong in the way she handled the situation and in telling me the way that she did but my dad is as much to blame as my mom, if not more. He was the one one who had a kid and didn’t tell anybody, out of shame. He told my mom when the mother of his daughter got pregnant, he didn’t want her to keep it. He didn’t want any more children, but she had the baby anyway. My dad told my mom she did it to keep my dad close even though they were separated. I got to meet this woman. She was introduced to me one day me and my dad went to the movies and she was waiting for us at the mall after the movie ended. He introduced her as her name “Marta”, not as his girlfriend, even though I obviously knew that’s what she was.

My dad decided to tell he had a kid basically two years after she was born. What was he afraid of? My mom? Years ago, after I was born and after they were separated, my mom told my dad that she didn’t want any more kids and she didn’t want me to have any more siblings. She didn’t me to have siblings who weren’t from the same mother and father and my father agreed. I don’t if because he too didn’t want to have any more kids or because he too thought I should have a brother or a sister from a different mother or father. The whole thing is ridiculous. So it didn’t work out between me and my husband or life partner or whatever and in the eventuality that I meet somebody else who I love and want to start a family with, I can’t??? Because I don’t want my child or children to have “half-siblings”? How archaic is that? Of course, it’s not ideal, not according to the standards society holds us to, at least. When we get married or start a family with some body, we do so in hopes that that person will be our life partner… for life. We hope we’ll have all the babies with that person, we hope we’ll stay a family, together, a unity, in the same house. But things don’t always work out the way we think they will or the way we want them to. Sometimes we have to change and adapt and make a new reality for ourselves, a reality that better fits and serves us.

My dad tried to make me feel shame but he’s the one who should feel ashamed. A few months ago, my dad and I had grown a little closer. I was having some trouble at home with my mom and I knew he felt for me so I felt him giving me more attention, trying to somehow make me feel a little better. I felt growing more comfortable and open around him, so we revisited the subject. I told him what I thought and felt about it but his reaction was not what I had hoped. He told me he didn’t feel guilty, he told me he had a clear conscience about it. He told me he never forced me to do anything or go anywhere, he told me he always asked me and always gave me a choice. He told me I agreed to it because I wanted to, he never manipulated me into deciding anything. He told me I was old enough to know what I was doing and to decide for myself. Even though I was ten. Even though he was the adult. Even though he was the responsible one. Responsible to take care of me, to put me first, to think of me first, to do everything in his power to protect me and to keep me safe.

When he told me this, I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom and cry. I couldn’t believe that he was taking no responsibility or accountability for what had happened. Who was to blame, then? Who was responsible for what happened? Me? The child? The ten-year-old? I felt so incredibly hurt. I was hoping for redemption. I was hoping for both of us to open our hurts and be sorry together. But I guess he didn’t learn anything and I feel sorry for him for it.

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tamakittykami · 2 years

Text

What Day is it Again?

All my days have been blending together into one big, long, endless cycle. Mostly the day-in and day-out of get up, get dressed, coffee,

kid's summer homework, kids chores, pack a lunch, go to work, feel unproductive for close to eight hours, and go home. That is my general schedule from when I wake up at 5:30 until home time at 4:30, Monday through Thursday (Sunday is similar, except I get to go home from work after only 6 hours of feeling like I'm throwing my life in the compactor).

After work, the daily routine is a bit different, depending on the day. Regardless, it is still full of hurry-up and rush, no matter what day it is. Monday is the only really laid-back night. As soon as I get home, I start making dinner so that it's ready between 5 and 5:30. Kids take FOREVER to eat (OMG it's painful some nights), and we try to cut them off at 7, so they can get ready for bed (which takes about an hour, particularly if I'm not harping on my son to stop getting distracted by every little thing).

And honestly, I should go to bed between 8:30 and 9, because I have kind of high sleep requirements. This sucks. So, I usually end up staying up later, procrastinating. If I am taking care of myself (vitamins, full skin routine, hygiene) it takes me about 45 minutes to get ready for bed. Often I am too tired, or too distracted, to do this. It is what it is.

Throw in the mix that Tuesdays my daughter has tutoring from 6 to 8 (bedtime out the window at least for her, and sometimes my son insists on staying up as long as she "gets to"), Wednesday is my son's beginner parkour class (Little Ninjas) from 5 to 6, and Thursdays are swim lesson days (5 to 6:30 when you factor in changing and that their classes are back-to-back). Sunday's spare time in the late afternoon is usually eaten up by grocery shopping.

Oh, and my husband and I usually end up trying to fit an at-home date night in there, somewhere... Often Wednesday...

We'll, what are my weekends like then? They, too, are pretty much booked up, although it being summer makes them more so, since I feel an incessant need to spend as much social/leisure time with my children as I can right now, before they become teenagers and pretend they don't know me anymore.

Once a month, we get together with our "Tribe" or "Chosen Family"; the people we aren't actually related to by blood, but whom mean the world to us, and whom often treat us/are treated by us better than actual blood relations. Tribe Dinner is held at a different person's place once a month, so we don't lose sight of these important people. It's nice to get all the "cousin's" together too, as they make their own tribes.

There are birthday parties, get-togethers with our actual families, cottage weekends (which are relaxing in and of themselves, but cause a bit of stress when planning and packing).

This week was particularly stressful and (for the kids especially) disappointing, as they were supposed to join up with some of the Tribe mothers and cousin's for a DIY summer camp, but half the clan came down with Covid. This has also required for us to postpone our annual MidSummers party, which is our biggest party of the year and had been originally scheduled for tomorrow.

Stupid Covid.

So, that's been moved to August.

Finally, there comes the last peppering of craziness in my scheduling, which is to find time for modeling, cosplay, and acting. With the kids out of school, I've basically relegated those to the back-burner. It's just too, too much.

Luckily for me, there is a bit of a reprieve for me.

Next week, the kids are in bike-camp, which, while it makes things a tiny bit more hectic in the mornings and evenings with having to get them ready a bit earlier and having to pick them up from the camp after work, also means I get a Friday to myself!

However, it won't be all fun and games, because the next day we are leaving on our annual summer vacation to Manitoulin Island.

Which will, fingers crossed, be the deserving break that I need.

In case you're wondering, I haven't abandoned the cruise-life post. The draft DIDN'T delete itself. It's just, as I had hoped, saved on my other phone rather than on the server. I will continue working on it, so keep checking back!

#krystalkamieniecki #life #daily routine #everyday #busy mom #day to day #my week #model life #models are people too #family #family life #a day in the life

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punkscowardschampions · 2 years

Text

Ava & James Pt.1

Ava: [Alright so it’s Autumn 2038, James has started his 4th and last year of Uni, Ava has started year 12. James is 21, Ava is 16. Mattie is born 28/10/38, this is early October. Jay is 4 ½ and in her first year of school. James started Uni when Jay was 1 ½. Went to rehab the Summer before 1st year; recovery obviously ongoing.]

Ava: [So, we’re attending a guest lecture when we spot him and obviously we recognise him because hello; I’m going to give her an ex who is not as annoying as Bobbi in the Amber face because I have content and the lecture is more for whatever she’s into/what she wants to do just an FYI here and also why we didn’t go up to him because this girl at least here and we’re not trying to be like oh hi remember when I was a kid and you were a messy teen lol]

Ava: [During this lecture that you probably have to be in boy and we’ve just showed up to]

Ava: 🤔 How much do you pay a year for this again?

James: [the amount, lord knows how much +++ of the 9 grand it is by the year y’all are in] but we additionally are required to pay with the blood, sweat and tears of A*AA before we’re allowed through the doors, lest any of us forget

Ava: ‘Course, school wants us to believe NO ONE has achieved less than an A in any A-level subject since that kid all the cautionary tales are stuck to in 1972 🙄

James: I don’t know if it’s better endeavouring to convince you of the truth you’ll struggle to believe, in which I am that cautionary tale and here nonetheless, or worse to commit to the lie this intuition is perpetuating of the earned grade and deserved seat, and be caught out

Ava: What do any of us know about deserved seats, right? 🤷‍♀️ The table is always bought and paid for long before we turn up to the meal

Ava: I don’t think you’re about to become the first [their school as a nickname how they do like etonian] victim of the class system but I’ll make sure to keep it to myself 🔐

James: your discretion during this very difficult time is extremely appreciated, thank you

Ava: Any time

Ava: a reputation for loose lips doesn’t win any friends and as mine dragged me to this, I’ll be on the lookout for more to replace her

James: Your friendship request is under serious consideration, as it should be

Ava: I’ll believe the serious when there’s more to be left on read for

James: oh dear, I didn’t realise I was supposed to be ignoring you

Ava: No, it’s a test you passed

Ava: if I saw you ignore my message for this, you’d be a lost cause

James: I certainly would

James: it does do a great disservice to you to imply I’d only reply if I was this bored, however, and I don’t think I’d be capable of keeping that lie going either

Ava: Far as lies goes, it’s no stretch to imagine you could come up with far more interesting tales

Ava: without needing to be at either our expense

James: Your imagination flatters me, unfairly so, I feel I have now to likewise confess

Ava: You’re better with words than [this lecturer] but that’s barely a compliment at all, if that makes you feel better

James: slightly, if you insist on compliments being exchanged, it definitely guarantees me much less to have to live up to

Ava: insist doesn’t paint me in the best light but I can’t live the lie I’d find it tortuous

James: I disagree, I wouldn’t find it anything other than a favourable light to bask in if I left a first impression comparable to the one you’ve offered up to me here

James: going after things you want is admirable and a quality I’m envious of

Ava: Can’t you feel that ☀️?

Ava: I can take a backseat and you can take it for a spin, not a quality I own the rights to, no need for envy

James: Unfortunately not, but perhaps that’s the fault of the draught I’m sat in, rather than either one of us

James: and I’d be asking much of this October afternoon to expect to feel any sunshine driving with the top down, as unfortunately

Ava: The lighting is favourable, sometimes you have to suffer for those kind of perks

Ava: [doing the tiniest wave from wherever we’ve sat because clearly we can see him hence we started this]

James: I’ll admit, I’m happy to hear your thoughts on suffering reflect the fact that you won’t immediately rescind your friend request in the wake of my seasonal depression being revealed

James: [but smile at her in a way that makes it seem like you’re entirely joking about being sad]

Ava: I’m gutted I come across as that fairweather, truly

Ava: [pout back like oh no but also smile because equally not serious don’t worry]

James: You don’t, it truly is a hanging offence for your (now former) friend to bring you to this lecture

Ava: She had a few IOUs to cash in for this one, I can’t lie

Ava: not that I’ll let that stop me from telling her how unforgivable this was, now I have your back-up

James: I’d like you know, if befriended, I would never do such a thing

Ava: Very promising

Ava: Your application just shot right up the list, obviously

James: Yes, also very promising news from where I’m sitting

Ava: And where do you plan to be after your required time sitting here is over

Ava: answer counting towards final grade

James: any location you require me to be, of course

Ava: A**

Ava: A tour could save this endeavour, not that she deserves it

Ava: you could show me why it’s worth [however much it is a year]

James: I couldn’t, because it isn’t, but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to appear an utter defeatist

James: I’d love to give you a tour, if only as your own test of everything you spoke about concerning secrecy, since this place, like any other, does have hidden charms

Ava: An anti-tour that reminds me why this place isn’t top of my list works too

Ava: saving me money, that’s what friends are for

Ava: You won’t find them blasted all over my social media, you can check and hold me to my word

James: You’ll have to promise King’s won’t move up the list as I do, I intend to give you a great tour, some of which you’re going to be very tempted to post about, meaning I’ll have no choice but to check

Ava: It sounds as if it’s a promise worth making

Ava: I can’t imagine any downsides or see them from here so, okay

James: you can take [lecturer’s name]’s word for it, if you can take any of them in, should you not want to trust mine, I’d understand, I’m clearly biased against their business school

Ava: You can tell me all about your personal vendetta, I won’t be taking business wherever I end up

James: What will you be taking, is that a decision you’ve made yet?

Ava: Journalism, some iteration of

James: I can see that for you

Ava: 🔍 for the diss or the compliment therein

James: There’s a way about you that encourages openness, in this conversation I’ve found that

Ava: Talking to you has been surprising, too

Ava: I thought I would get to harmlessly flirt with a cute guy but you’ve been much more

Ava: teach me to open my mind

James: I usually find it impossible to keep a conversation going after the initial obligatory replies, I’m astonished to have just agreed to go further as easily as I did, and to discover I’m looking forward to the idea of spending more time with you

Ava: I’m not taking it personally, it’s a ridiculously big ask

Ava: I just noticed you, then recognised you and it just felt worth… noting

Ava: I’m looking forward to crossing King’s off

James: hopefully you aren’t going to take it too personally I didn’t recognise you

Ava: I’d be mortally wounded if you did

Ava: whatever I looked like when you may have last saw me is not something you need to remember

James: I did notice you today, I’m equally hopeful that’ll ease any wounds I’d have inflicted had I not

Ava: Your astonishment and wanting to spend more time with me is certainly salve to the sting of having to remember I was once 13 and completely cringe

James: for what it’s worth, I was once 13 and did humilating things none of my friends have let me forget

Ava: That’s for the next level of friendship

Ava: or at least after a few 🍸

James: Prompt me when we reach the level of friendship or martinis that allows me to tell you whatever you may have looked like when I last saw you, this meeting and how you look during it isn’t likely to slip my mind

Ava: If it requires me to forget I just heard it now

Ava: I can’t make that promise

Ava: however, prompting you to remind me is a prospect I’m excited for regardless

James: I can make the promise to give you better compliments any time they’re required, whether or not they push out my awkward phrasing of the first one

Ava: I wouldn’t call it awkward

Ava: not even just in comparison to [this lecture snoozefest]

James: I wanted to call you something less vague, but there’s a danger of being overly direct, and being compared to [this lecture] as somewhere you want to escape from

Ava: What did you really think when I was so direct and messaged you?

James: I really was envious, in all seriousness, because it isn’t something I would’ve done, even if you hadn’t and I’d spent the rest of the day thinking about you with a longing to

Ava: You might be a better person than me

Ava: I said harmlessly but I’m unsure how much I really meant it, or mean it now

James: I’m sure how much I don’t want you to mean it makes me a worse person, possibly the worst kind of person

Ava: I don’t think I like the sound of that

James: I don’t think I care enough about the harm this has the potential to cause

Ava: How sure are you, percentage-wise

James: that I’m a bad person or that I don’t care?

Ava: that you don’t care

James: I’m as convinced as I can be, as was the case before you reached out to start this conversation, when I was waiting to see if you would

Ava: I had to, I would’ve regretted it if I hadn’t

James: I’ll regret it if I don’t take you on this tour

Ava: I insist, you can blame me for that

James: I’d have nobody to blame but myself if we didn’t have a face to face conversation before you leave

Ava: Leave is drastic, it’s a small town, we both know that

James: We both know this method can be heavily edited, my body language can’t lie to you as effortlessly

Ava: I’m not backing out

James: not before you’ve been shown how awkward I can be in the real world

Ava: you wanna put me off so you don’t have to say no to seeing me outside of this bubble

Ava: don’t worry

James: I insist on giving you the full story, for your journalistic integrity, if that means you’re put off, so be it

James: though I’d prefer you weren’t

Ava: That’s so gentlemanly 😏

Ava: honesty is never a bad thing, though clearly refreshing enough I didn’t consider you would be so

James: I don’t think I’d call myself a gentleman with how quickly I’d do the opposite of your friend and drag you away from here, if we’re being totally honest

Ava: For honesty’s sake, I’d have to let you know how preferable I find that

James: do let me know how you feel about every stop on this tour, I’m putting a lot of thought into it

Ava: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ rating scale

James: I can’t guarantee your friend will be as generous, your personal consideration has been my prime concern in this planning

Ava: She owes me that now

Ava: and she’s also bizarrely enthralled so, she doesn’t have to know

James: I’ll do what I can to act surprised to see her at the next open day

Ava: She might be very disappointed if you missed the library or student union off your tour

Ava: She should wait for a professional, no offence meant

James: I wouldn’t be offended if she decided to take her own private detour, or disappointed to have any amount of time alone with you as a result

Ava: We’re not a package deal these days, less of

James: Which is how I know I’m a bad person, I should feel bad for her

Ava: I think you’re being hard on yourself

Ava: she’s not going to be 💔 herself

James: I don’t understand how that can be true, she’s enthralled by this place, thus capable of being, and isn’t by you

Ava: You could lecture her on her priorities but

Ava: I can’t promise I won’t be 💔 to divert your attention from myself, selfishly

James: I’m the last person who could lecture anyone, you don’t have to worry about diversions of that sort

Ava: I’m just being wistful, obviously

Ava: It would be far more enjoyable to be listening to you right now

James: [send her a voice note just being like ‘hello, sorry I can’t deliver a full [however long this lecture they’re in is] on [this topic] but I hope this is still enjoyable’ and hope you’re in a big enough lecture you can get away with it]

Ava: very much so 😍

Ava: I was right, application numbers would skyrocket

James: I’m glad it was whispered for your ears only, I’d hate to be responsible for the next 13% of acceptances regretting their choices because I’m not actually a member of staff

Ava: and not a bad person, clearly

Ava: even though I would say it’s quite rude to direct my attention towards you whispering in my ear like that

James: it’s that bad of a university, in my opinion, and I’m far too unapologetic about those actions to be considered a good person

Ava: but if that’s what I as equally unapologetically want, then I think that makes it okay

Ava: good, even

James: Expecting you to want this to the same extent as I do feels like a ridiculously big ask

Ava: I can’t imagine why

James: I’m not going to ask you to, please don’t, in fact

Ava: You did ask VERY nicely

James: well, I don’t want my perception of me to become your perception of me, selfishly

Ava: Don’t worry, I’ll make up my own mind in the end

Ava: even if I have an overwhelming urge to comply with that request

James: I have my own overwhelming urge not to consider when or how this is going to end

Ava: It’s not even begun yet

James: Yes it has, it began with how beautiful you are

Ava: Wow

Ava: okay, it’s really begun but I need the next chapter to arrive sooner

James: if that’s what you need, who am I to object?

Ava: you’re going to believe I don’t usually do this, right?

James: if it matters to you enough that you feel as though you have to tell me, I don’t have any problem believing you aren’t lying

Ava: I’m not sure why it felt important to say but it did

James: then it’s important, and I’m happy to hear it, regardless of the why

Ava: far as putting things out there before we get any further

Ava: do you need to?

James: I’m not sure what you know, or would want to if you don’t and my revelation would shatter your blissful ignorance

Ava: I know you’re married

Ava: there’s no point lying about that, if I was able to find you to message, that was as easy information to access, even if it wasn’t big news when you did

James: I am, and I sometimes do this

Ava: That makes sense

James: we both do, not that her actions excuse mine or vice versa

Ava: I’m in the literal worst position to judge, I started this

Ava: and I have no desire to, either way

James: I continued it by replying, you’re not married and you’re younger than I am

Ava: I’m not absolving you of any guilt you may or may not feel, I couldn’t

Ava: but I know what I’m starting here, you shouldn’t feel bad

James: I’m absolving you, as much as I can

James: you shouldn’t feel bad and I hope you don’t

Ava: It’s more complex than good and bad, isn’t it

Ava: most people would agree you’re still far too young to be married, you know

James: Those people would be correct, but I meant what I said about no lectures, I won’t force you to promise you won’t get married before the age of 35 or some other arbitrary age that’s considered more socially acceptable

Ava: I literally have to make it past 18 and I’m a success in my family, he did me a solid there too

Ava: I don’t think anyone would’ve expected it from you two

James: I wasn’t expecting it either

Ava: Apparently Buster did but we weren’t clued into that whole thing so

James: I remember his stubbornness, it wasn’t endearing

Ava: get it on paper and there’s nothing we can say or do, clearly 🙄

Ava: Oh well, absolutely not the point

James: I understand the need for legal confirmation when you can’t have the moral support you crave, rightly or wrongly

Ava: It is what it is, I’m honestly not that mad now

James: once we reach the appropriate friendship level, you’ll be allowed to vent about any and all topics you desire

Ava: how will we know when we’ve got there?

James: I assume it’ll be a natural progression

Ava: No secret handshakes

James: oh

James: I obviously spoke too soon, because yes, always

Ava: Thank God

Ava: would’ve been the FIRST thing I had to vent about otherwise

James: naturally, it would be an unforgivable oversight on my part

Ava: what sort of bestie 🤭

James: the kind who gets blocked on a weekly basis

Ava: I don’t think either of us has time for the drama

James: or the inclination to either start or prolong it

Ava: I can agree with that observation

James: What I have yet to have opportunity to give ample time towards, I would like to think I am making up for with my eagerness in the slot we’ve so far been given

James: [and a LOOK to prove that point like yep I’m hardcore observing you right now]

Ava: [we’re 😳 so hard obviously]

Ava: face to face is going to betray me much harder than it will you, I can tell

James: I’m struggling to view it as a betrayal, or any other word with negative connotations, at the moment

James: your face portrays everything too well

Ava: I shouldn’t be able to see your eyes so clearly from here

James: I’m sorry

Ava: don’t be

James: I’ll try not to be

Ava: they’re beautiful

James: [😳😳😳 excuse us everyone in this lecture]

James: I don’t know what to say, thank you feels much too awkward even for me

Ava: It’s okay, you called me beautiful first and I didn’t know what to say either

Ava: I mean it whatever you can or can’t think to say

James: I thought it’d be awkward for you because you’re so used to hearing it that it isn’t quite impactful enough, which I’m not suggesting is true for me, rather the opposite

Ava: It was very impactful

Ava: I’ve not stopped thinking about it

James: I couldn’t stop myself saying it any longer

Ava: Other people don’t usually go for beautiful

Ava: and anyway, it’s different when it’s from someone you want to hear it from

Ava: anything, beautiful is very good though

James: I’m wary of asking what people usually try to pass off as a compliment, nevertheless, I am

Ava: [the cringest and ughest attempts you know the vibes]

Ava: being slightly hyperbolic for effect but not really

James: Oh Ava

Ava: That’s not the context I wanted to hear you say my name in 😅

Ava: but I know

James: technically I typed it, you haven’t heard me say it yet, if that helps at all

Ava: I’m still daydreaming either way

James: You’re very much not alone there

Ava: the only other perk to this lecture, aside from the obvious that you’re here and so am I

James: agreed, I didn’t expect it to be this inspiring

Ava: ☁️💫

James: I’m scared to look at you again, after how hard I pushed my luck with the last, I keep expecting the entire lecture to stop and look at you as well once [the lecturer] follows my gaze

Ava: That only sounds mildly scarier than what I can imagine my next reaction to making eye contact might be

James: [obviously do it because we have to now lol]

Ava: [doing an omg excuse you face and doing a little lol, so your friend is probably like hello lolll what is going on, so we’re just shhing you like no I won’t tell you what I’m loling at]

James: [watching this all with such adorable amusement bye, don’t think about how he probably has no friends at uni because he isn’t allowed a life and has to usually leave immediately after lectures etc because it will make us sad]

James: The envy has returned tenfold that I couldn’t hear you laugh

Ava: [your teen years really stole from you, fuck you his fam and chloe]

Ava: How do I say I’ll laugh for you without sounding totally insane

Ava: because that

James: It should probably have been me insisting I’d make you, to spare you having to say anything, I’m sorry

James: and I will, I do insist

Ava: You will, you have

Ava: You’re funny but right now that’s taking a backseat to other things you are

James: It’s the strangest experience to miss things, miss you, when we’re in the same room, but I do feel the absence of you not being closer and really want to fix that

Ava: If I’d have sat closer, I fear the only thing we’d be missing would be this incredible lecture

James: a pity, yes

Ava: 😏

Ava: we could give consoling each other a fair try

James: We could leave, I think we’ve given this lecture more than a fair go

Ava: I better go first

Ava: my friend would know I was following you otherwise

James: it’s okay, I have many unopened textbooks to put away, take your time

Ava: Giving ample time to how adorable that is gonna look

Ava: [either just telling your friend or also telling the teacher who may or may not be here you’ve got a migraine and need to step out and then doing so in that awkward way you have to when someone is talking lol]

James: Where are you waiting? I don’t want to lose you in the revolving door of other people fleeing now that the only reason to stay in the room has left it

Ava: Where exactly did you learn to be so charming, and why does it sound so entirely genuine

Ava: [wherever you have found yourself out of your teacher or friend’s way should either of them decided to go find you lol]

Ava: wanted to put some distance between, not running away

James: Perhaps it comes off entirely genuine because we went to the same (lack of) charm school

James: or it could be I sincerely mean it and am having to prevent myself from running towards you right now, because, you know, rugby hasn’t exactly prepared me for this and it would look more intimidating than intended

Ava: I’m going with the latter

Ava: you’ve seen what’s the latest our school has to offer is and it’s not like you

Ava: if you tackle me, the migraine excuse might be more believable honestly, I’m not saying no

James: Anything to validate an excuse that’ll allow me to steal you away for longer, obviously

Ava: I fully intend to say I went home, I’ve assumed that’ll be necessary so I hope I’m not wrong

James: no, I just didn’t want to neither assume nor demand it

Ava: at this point, you’re not assuming, I’ve been pretty blatant

James: in words, but actions can be different, I wouldn’t expect you to be as blatant if that’s not what you want

Ava: You’ll have to come see then

James: [do come and find her please and do the thing where you just stare at each other for a sec in disbelief like oh okay we’re both really here and doing this]

Ava: [exactly that energy, I like to think you’ve picked somewhere vaguely quiet like a random stairwell that inexplicably barely gets used or whatever but not fully in a crowd or anything so there’s not gawkers ‘hey’ very much in that disbelief tone]

James: [saying ‘hello’ back but only slightly louder than your whispering voice note cos not trying to shout so blushing again ‘it’s good to see you’ because it is but also how awkwardly formal and real haha, oh James]

Ava: [when you go forward on instinct because he looks so cute but you’re posh so even though you’re a teen I can have you kiss either cheek and it’s not markedly more forward in comparison ‘you too’ in a no lie detected energy instead of a making small talk one and smiling at him all blushy yourself]

James: [I likewise love that you’re posh enough I can be like ‘Shall we-?’ And not need to finish that sentence before we’re just ushering her in whatever direction and it’s not even that awkward it’s just how they talk]

Ava: [Letting ourselves be led in response because we shall and we simply must at this point honey]

James: [lord knows where because I have not been to this uni obvs but I feel like there should be a couple of the first stops on this tour that are in the uni somewhere but it’s like the energy of his own little sneaky hangouts he found because no friends, because 1. That’s feelsy even though he’s not telling you yet that’s why 2. You two are so alone rn, ramping up the tension immediately]

Ava: [We know what we’re saying lads, you’d only need the flimsy excuse of not getting caught when your school is peacing to stay put, out of sight and alone, not risky at all lol, I’m trying to think where would be quiet and a mood, maybe a particular aisle of the library where no one is getting books from ever for one]

James: [yeah I had that same library thought as a possibility because most peeps only tend to use whatever kind of desk and study situation a library has anyway if they wanna study with their friends or have group work so that’s very feasible that you could have found a little bit where nobody ever is, and like I’m remembering at school when I had exams and extra time and they used to put me in the randomest rooms and lowkey cupboards sometimes to do it, so maybe that kind of energy of somewhere you aren’t supposed to be spending time in but do/did]

Ava: [literally people use the computers and the space not the books so it makes sense to me, also on the same page about that one, there’s always rooms that lowkey are out of comish or too small to be used on the regular, those two and perhaps somewhere outside that is nice and peaceful and maybe a nature vibe because we’d be about that obviously and those are all good vibes]

James: [agreed, I had the idea that maybe that tiny room either has a really cute view to the outside or when you’re in there you can hear nature sounds from outside somehow so yeah, leads to you then going outside to somewhere really peaceful and a mood, it’s all just such a fun secretive ‘there’s only us 2 people in the world’ but very chill energy]

Ava: [btw I think they should write each other letters because they’re 100% those bitches and who else is going to give us these high romance vibes]

James: [I am literally beside myself, it’s the most him thing to do ever because he lowkey wouldn’t use social media much even if he didn’t have the most controlling wife in the world, and what other 16 year old girl would bother to sit her arse down and write a full letter, it’s perfect and we must]

Ava: [as I started going through the old pics I found somebody had all these love letters and I was like duh, we have to, idk how it didn’t occur to us before]

James: [speaking of peak romance, they should definitely kiss or almost whilst outside, whichever we like, maybe almost because it feels like nobody else exists rn but then something somehow reminds them where they are and that people do, cue rowdy students lol OR if the almost is too cliche and done before, they do kiss but it’s the most chaste ever because of being interrupted before you can deepen it, either/or]

Ava: [Not to call you a hoe but she’d definitely take the opportunity to kiss you so that feels real to me lol, just the worst student cliches we’re 🙄]

James: [he has had several affairs by now so I can respectfully call him a hoe and acknowledge what he’s doing here so agreed, he’d definitely want to kiss her too, literally am picturing all the most OTT posh student cliches rn ugh, giving a look like see this is why you shouldn’t apply to this uni hun, and taking the loud cue to move to destinations off campus]

Ava: [‘More of the same’ because the energy of your school and many of the people there ‘makes a case for leaving London but-’ shrugs like 😏 how would I cope without the standard?]

James: [a nod because we know exactly what you’re saying ‘broadening your horizons here, while not actually impossible, often feels as though it is’ his own shrug, which hopefully doesn’t look as utterly defeated as he clearly feels ‘but London, understandably, would never recover from the loss of you’ dramatic but true, this city and all its posh knobheads doesn’t deserve you gal]

Ava: [‘Not your first choice?’ smiling because we can tell that much but we also wanna know what your story is and why you ended up here, laughing because otherwise we’ll blush again ‘My parents on the otherhand, probably want 3 for 3’ ‘cos both your sibs went to different countries and are not here now so]

James: [‘The only choice, but not mine’ because we don’t really need to elaborate that his father and sister went here since that’s a tale as old as time as far as posh people are concerned so she’d be able to tell, and another nod because he knows both your siblings enough to be aware of where they ended up going to uni I’m sure ‘Teddy’s fate is similarly sealed’ as in he’ll have to go here too or risk pissing them off majorly because he’s not gonna get into somewhere better which is the only way they’d let him deviate]

Ava: [Nodding because we know all too well, even though that’s not our family’s story, ‘My poor mum isn’t going to get to see any of us at Cambridge’ and a face like oops soz mum ‘but at least I know where to avoid Teddy now’ in a jokey way not a I actually hate him one lol]

James: [‘Giving the Vault a wide berth will be markedly less taxing than avoiding broaching the subject of Cambridge with your mother, I can assure you’ just shading the student union and your brother at the same time by implying he’ll always hang out there lol, we all love you really Teddy]

Ava: [‘Are you taking me where you hang out instead?’]

James: [‘Where I have enjoyed, or where I would have in another life, yes’ again, do not think about the fact he isn’t allowed to socialise barely ever, it upsets me greatly]

Ava: [It really does me too but we can’t have you majorly picking up to the point of saying anything yet just nod and take his hand ‘sounds more promising than the vault’]

James: [he needs to take her to some kind of bookshop next so he can pick out books for her that have I wanna be a journalist vibes in some way, you know what I mean, like gal you need to read these, then they can go get coffee or tea and she can flick through them and be buzzing and they can chat more before y’all end up getting day drunk, I’ll see if I can find any books and namedrop them here lol]

Ava: [all the romance, there’s also plenty of cool bookshops in London if we wanna specify that too, just having the best date ever and you did not think this was gonna happen by sending a shameless DM like]

James: [Honestly love this for you both because when was the last time James looked at books that weren’t children’s books, again don’t think about it, not saying he doesn’t love that but everyone needs to let him have his own identity please]

Ava: [at least we’ll be asking you all the questions boy]

James: [I’m trying to find books so bear with but definitely 1. The Imperfectionists by Tom Rachman which is about a fictional english language newspaper in Rome and all the people who work on it and sounds like such an Ava vibe 2.Scoop by Evelyn Waugh sounds dry as hell to me but I feel like James would suggest it because it’s written in 1936 and so is a classic and every list I’m coming across says it’s iconic and a must read for aspiring journalists, maybe it could be one she doesn’t like to be controversial yet brave haha 3. Bonfire of the Vanities by Tom Wolfe is another classic, this time from the year I was born but I think she’d like it because it’s about racism and slagging off rich wall street people, have read 0 of these but I remember trying to watch the film of that last one once and it was a flop, but everyone says so not just me apparently]

Ava: [That’s a good reading list and you can report back as you finish them like nerds, I haven’t read any of them either but we can be vague lol, I feel like we should get you a book but I will need to ponder wtf we would get you so keep that in mind, like I want it to mirror this kind of chance meeting energy but you can’t go in otherwise you look like you’re saying the most…maybe we could buy it now and give it to you later lol]

James: [At least James probably hasn’t read these either so he’s just recommending off vibes as I am, that makes me feel slightly better haha, because yeah idk someone else just said Scoop is hilarious and I’m like okay, sure Jan, apparently Orwell has a good collection of essays as well that are just an A+ journalistic mood in general, we know the kind of shit I’m saying, like if it was me I’d have picked Moranology and How to Build a Girl etc but James is not me, she could give it to him later for sure, the first opportunity being when he replaces her lost bracelet if we bring that back, and there will no doubt be lots of other opportunities later as well, Christmas will be here before they know it if nothing else]

Ava: [Okay, I’ve found ones I can give you now because they aren’t Romance with a capital R though I will find one of those to give you for sure. 1. Letter To A Stranger: Essays To The Ones Who Haunt Us by Colleen Kinder which is exactly how it sounds she prompted people and it’s 65 letters to strangers people couldn’t forget and 2. The Address Book by Sophie Calle which is about finding an address book and then trying to get to know every contact in it and it’s real like the woman actually did it and the man who’s address book it was was fuming because she was publishing it in a newspaper like who would meet her and what went on etc so yeah, basically we’re saying we wanna get to know you if that was not obvious]

James: [omg boo how iconic and speedy of you, I love this, soz you two but you have to always just give each other books that reflect what’s going on and what you’re thinking and feeling from now on, those are the rules]

Ava: [Gotta be done, even if we’re just talking out our bums lol, we’re just portraying vibes, I don’t have time to read all these things myself, we can be like ‘take your time’ though because we know he has a child and is a busy boy because who doesn’t soz boy, we probably don’t know about the 2nd one on the way, not as if we’ve stalked Chlo prior to this or your brother is bringing it up randomly]

James: [if I was a published author with fans I’d release the java reading list alongside all the playlists I wanna one day make and challenge them to read it but alas I don’t and I’m just one tiny nerd who doesn’t have time to read or watch anything ever cos she only wants to write, oh lord you know Chloe is probably in hiding until she has this child because not allowed to look fat on main so yeah, it’s real you don’t know, but he can say that back re picking your uni choices like gal you gotta go somewhere great that you love, also I’m SORRY but I was just hit with the mental image of him staying up all night after he leaves whatever o clock that may be to finish as much of that first book as he can in 1 sesh, if not all of it, idk how long it is, because drunk and feels]

Ava: [I was literally thinking pull a Kylie Jenner, like who do you think you are ever girl, lmao, being a delight as always, not leaving the house lest you are seen, making everyone fetch and carry after you even harder, I can’t; I honestly have no idea but that is so pure and I, again, can’t; for now just ‘Promised I wouldn’t be swayed by the tour’ ‘cos we clearly are being but only about you of course]

James: [she’s gonna be unbearable during her twin pregnancy of the future because that actually is a nightmare most of the time by all accounts, thank god you are long gone by then James, the answer is apparently 336 pages but that means nothing to me in terms of whether he could read it all or not lol, but yeah in the here and now sipping whatever hot beverage we’re drinking, probably coffee if you’re exhausted and depressed, like mhmm you did promise that so you better not break it ‘We’have plenty of stops left to make’ playfully like there’s still time to sway you on a lot of things]

Ava: [Not your babies not your problem, the fact that’s only 5 years away, lol, the things that change between now and then; I’d say 200 is like a short book like looks short so I think it’d be doable but you’re going hard to do so, which is kinda the mood; ‘yeah?’ with the most flirty energy of course ‘cos duh ‘ready when you are’ but getting cosy in whatever leather armchair moment I am imagining for a bookshop/cafe moment]

James: [we love to see it, this really is a life changing meeting, and I as equally love that, go hard for this romantic af gesture thank you sir, giving her SUCH a look because the urge to take her hand immediately and be like fuck this expensive black coffee, come on, but then she gets comfortable so of course you do too ‘We have time too’ because we’re not trying to rush this and go back to our life, obviously the anticipation is a big part of it]

Ava: [‘Might make you promise’ because we’re likewise caught up in the magic of this moment and not trying to leave it a second before we have to]

James: [idk how y’all are sitting right now but leaning more forward in his seat aka closer to her but without being hardcore in her grill the way some characters are because too polite and posh for this ‘I do promise, Ava, no coercion necessary’]

Ava: [😳 in this bookshop rn ‘good, because I’m a nice girl’ and we know how that’s being said lmao]

James: [‘I’m very happy to hear that’ said in exactly the same manner]

Ava: [‘you’re not bad company, yourself’ the words being an understatement the tone ain’t]

James: [‘The credit for the quality of present company is all yours, I think’ and a genuine smile, with relief in it for how true what we’re about to say is ‘You aren’t only incredibly inspiring to look at, talking to you has been…’ a pause while he tries and fails to find an adequate word ‘rousing’ and yeah I did choose it for it’s saucy connotations purely, fight me]

Ava: [‘Rousing-’ as if we’re mulling that one over like hmm and being like yes, I like it ‘-also underused’ like not many lads are pulling that one out either and laughing a little but we agree so we’re putting our hand atop yours on this table between us ‘Perhaps I shouldn’t jinx today by talking about a next time but…?’ like I hope we can see each other again but leaving it unsaid]

James: [an amused expression like yes I remember the quality you said you were getting in your dms I’m not surprised they aren’t pulling out phrases like that, turning it into a lil hand hold because always must so she knows we’re in agreement about this not being a one time thing but likewise being a bit hesitant to actually say anything in words in case it does jinx things in any way ‘But I’d need something stronger before I could put into words, adequately, how much I’d like to see you again’ because true, nodding at this coffee cup like it ain’t quite it]

Ava: [just gathering up our bags and jacket in response like okay, let’s go ‘lead the way’]

James: [laughing a little himself but we’re obvs going to wherever this first day drinking destination is as eagerly so]

Ava: [chin chin gals, so soz we’re accidentally letting you go off the wagon with us we’re unaware]

James: [it isn’t your fault gal, literally, it’s all Chlo’s, I shall drop an obvious hint by saying he’s drinking long island ice teas though because they are actually fucking lethal and god knows what time it is rn, but he’s not downing them like an animal or anything so obviously you’re not in the wrong for not staging an intervention]

Ava: [we’re just like okay we’re day drinking properly then and getting into the spirit too, literally, not like you’ll be going back to school or anything else today lol]

James: [they should also order something I just discovered called Hemmingway Champagne or Death in the Afternoon which he invented and is literally champagne and absinthe, because we can pretend it’s for the bants and uni hazing vibes of our OG first convo]

Ava: [that sounds so minging lol, have fun lads, it is amusant]

James: [and you can have a nerdy chat about Hemmingway so that’ll be fun for you both lol, this boy just getting more animated and less shy]

Ava: [He was a very dramatic man, reading about his suicide alone is wild lol, nerd out because lord knows you deserve it and even if she wasn’t a total bitch, she’s thick as shit so you aren’t having any convos with Chlo ever]

James: [I think they should then go get food from somewhere he likes to get lunch from between lectures and go sit somewhere aesthetic for a bit with it before the day drinking continues]

Ava: [you don’t wanna be totally gone so yes, soak it up]

James: [I’m looking up what other authors liked to drink for the vibes, the Gatsby dude was gin, club soda and lime juice because he reckoned it was undetectable on his breath, I beg to differ sir but okay, we absolutely will]

Ava: [lol people always say that like y’all are delusional and alcoholics but sounds a bit nicer]

James: [Ooh Tennessee Williams’ drink is gin,lemon juice, egg white, cream, lime juice, sugar, soda water and orange flower water, how fancy yet foul and Steinbeck’s is applejack brandy with grenadine and lime juice which sounds more bearable, you’re welcome lads, the adorable nerding you can do about all these books and plays]

Ava: [We get it Tennessee, you’re gay, that’s like a white girl starbucks order, the drama lmao, all this mixing and matching, y’all are gonna be drunk drunk baby]

James: [thank god she must be vaguely interested and can hold her own both conversationally and drinking wise because imagine if he was just boring her talking her ear off about dead writers when she was just trying to fuck and then she was on the floor from all this booze]

Ava: [lmao actual date from hell for some but we know you’re well suited here, journalism goes hand in hand with knowing writers ‘cos many of them also were lol]

James: [the question on all our lips is where are y’all gonna hook up if we let you before making him be forced home, because if you are, a pub toilet isn’t the right vibe here]

Ava: [My boo says not the romantic energy is it, you are limited but probably not, maybe a park or something because people do but it’s slightly more not the toilets and there’s loads everywhere in London]

James: [good idea boo, my brain immediately went hey guess what else there are a lot of…churches! Um no, a park is fine thank you, we don’t have to be that hardcore about it, you aren’t your parents sharing the wine in the little priest hole]

Ava: [you’re way too drunk to successfully pull that off today honeys lol, not trying to get arrested]

James: [I think we should let y’all hook up this time unlike when we did it before and were evil af and didn’t allow it, thank god you are as drunk as you are though otherwise you’d freeze to death now we’ve moved it to october]

Ava: [You’ve had longer to be vibing and we would’ve lowkey done it as soon as we left the lecture so it makes sense it actually happens this way]

James: [like, we can very much say your cray wife is blowing your phone up during said hookup if we like because you obviously aren’t caring or even noticing so she will be livid, and she’ll be even more livid that you don’t come running immediately because you gotta get this gal in a car and home safe before you go anywhere because she’s drunk af, love that you can share one and have that whole car ride moment because you live so near each other]

Ava: [probably wants you to get her something really stupid, like soz bitch, we’re drunk and not going to get you whatever you’re pretending you’re craving; always love a car moment, I lol at baze thinking you’ve just been at a lecture like pop off]

James: [I vote she loses her bracelet in the park because the clasp breaks during the hookup and they obviously don’t realise because then he’ll never find it despite retracing every step and thus getting to relive all the epicness of the date and therefore have to buy her a new one, LOL, thank god y’all were day drinking so by the time you get back baze will still be working and not see how utterly off your face you are, they’ll just think you were tired and fell asleep after a long day of being a nerd]

Ava: [I’ll message you once we are home]

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oitommothetease · 3 years

Text

Invisible String (2/?)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female reader (Modern AU)

Description: James Buchanan Barnes, the owner of the most expensive-looking club in town and your new apartment. He was a dick and you hated him. What could possibly go wrong when you, the new girl in town, start bartending at his club to pursue your dreams?

Warning: Sexual assault, mention of an anxiety attack.

Word Count: 1641

It turns out you definitely can't do this. Working in retail sucks, majorly. Customers are so awful to you and other employees as well. You didn't make the products, you don't control the prices, then why should you listen to them rant about it all day?

This job was from 9 am to 4 pm, which reminded you a lot of your previous job. By the time you got home, you were exhausted mentally and physically. Your current schedule was eerily similar to your previous lifestyle, which left you with no time to work on your book.

You felt like you were stuck in an insufferable loop that you just can't seem to escape no matter how hard you try. You thought about Mr. Barnes a lot, too. If only you weren't so egoistic and been a little nicer, then maybe you could have had that job.

With each passing day, you were becoming desperate. The only reason why you didn't run to Mr. Barnes a week ago was your pride. A pride that would not let you bow down to that rude, egoistic asshole.

It's like the universe could hear your thoughts and the devil himself walked through the doors of the store. Fuck, he can't see you here. He's going to think you're some nut job who's chasing stupid dreams after having an excellent degree. At least that's what your parents think.

You were about to run and hide behind an aisle when the voice you knew too well called out for you.

"Hey, do you know where I could find-"

"You," He said, without an emotion. "What are you doing here?"

You pointed towards the badge with the name tag on your shirt and mouthed working.

"Why?"

"Why?" You pretended to think, "I don't know, I interviewed for this other job about a week ago, but the boss was an ass."

"You lied to me," he stated as if it wasn't the most obvious thing.

"Gee, sorry, dad."

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what again?" You questioned.

" Diverging a question with a joke," He answered with an unaffected tone like he was studying you and your reaction.

"You know who I am." he stated. It should have been a question, but both of you were aware of what he meant.

"A vampire?" You mocked. He didn't look like one though, but hey, neither did Edward nor Stefan. But God, those steel-blue eyes could drink you up and you wouldn't complain. Focus.

For the first time you saw an emotion on his face that wasn't unaffected or bored, he was confused. Of course, he was confused, you were referencing twilight to a mob boss (you think, you weren't sure, but that's all you could gather from all the articles you found about him online).

"I need that job," you confessed. " I know it's not very convincing, but I need you to trust me-"

He raised a brow at that and his lips turned into a smirk. God, you wished you could swipe off that smirk from his stupidly handsome face.

"But you don't trust me, " you stated dejectedly and started turning around. "You wanted something? "

In an instant, his hand wrapped around your wrist gently, stopping you in your tracks. You ignored the involuntary shudder that ran through you and immediately yanked your hand out of his grasp.

You turned around and were about to give him a piece of your mind about how he shouldn't just come to your place of work and touch you without consent. He clearly guessed your thoughts and cut in.

"Clint Barton, the manager, he will tell you everything you need to know about bartending and handling the customers."

Did he just hire you? What changed between this and your previous meeting with him?

And just like that, he left. There was a part of you that wanted to say fuck off I don't need your help, but you knew better, so you went to that club later that evening. You found the Manager, Clint. He told you he was expecting your arrival and that made you feel weird because Mr. Barnes was totally opposite the day you met.

Your new job required you to be at work from 8 pm to 3 am, which was ideal for you. You usually reach home and pass out till 4 in the morning and wake up around noon. This schedule gave you a lot of time to work on your book.

You ended up making friends with some other people that work there as well. Wanda was the smart, sarcastic one that you'd have died to have as a friend in high school. Pietro, her twin brother, was also nice, a bit fast and impatient, but he was nice to you. Peter looked very young, but he knew what he was doing and he'd help you out a lot. That kid had a lot of energy and adrenaline, which surprised you every time he'd be done with work way before you.

You didn't see Mr. Barnes frequently. You saw him one time entering the club, and you tried to give him a smile which he ignored and went straight to his office upstairs. And then you decided to ignore him as well. It wasn't like you to be petty, okay, maybe you were being petty, but in your defense, he started it.

You were finishing up cleaning the table and were about to call it a day when a man you didn't recognize, probably wasn't a regular, came in asking for a drink.

"I'm sorry, sir. We're closed." You told him politely.

"Whiskey on the rocks."

You wanted to refuse him again, but you stopped yourself when he came into your sight. He didn't look like the kind of man who'd take your no seriously. He looked just as intimidating as Mr. Barnes, even more, but Mr. Barnes knew his boundaries, whereas this man in front of you evidently didn't. You could tell this by the way his gaze was slowly taking your body in and stopping a little longer at your cleavage.

You wanted to cringe and curse yourself for choosing to wear a top like that in a place filled with drunk men. The smarter part of your brain told you that he can go fuck himself, and you shouldn't think about men when you dress up. Women are entitled to wear whatever they want to and fuck men and people who tell them otherwise.

Carefully, you made his drink and handed it to him. His hand lingered on yours while taking the glass from you, and you wanted to just throw the drink across his face. His gaze remained on your chest even when you fixed your top and coughed twice to call his behavior out.

"What time do you get off?" he asked, eyes still on your chest.

Is this guy for real? , you thought.

"Um, this is highly inappropriate and I think you should leave now because I have to call it a night." you rejected politely, raising your hand towards the door, hoping he'd leave.

He chuckled darkly, his stare still drinking in your body as if you were a piece of meat, and it made you very, very uncomfortable. He obviously wasn't taking no for an answer, and you had no clue what to do. You were the only person left, and you didn't even know who to ask for help.

"Come on, baby girl," he said, walking towards you and forcefully snaking his hands around your waist to settle on your hips. " Don't make this harder than it should be. "

"No!" you yelled, pushing him away and creating some distance between you.

"Hard way it is then," he decided, walking towards you and forcefully holding the hem of your shirt in his hands to remove it. You struggled, yelled, and pushed him off you again. He furiously lunged forward towards you and hit you hard across the face. "Fucking bitch."

"Rumlow!" a voice boomed from behind you, and you hated yourself for being in such a vulnerable state. As much as you tried not to, tears welled up in your eyes and you hated being the helpless damsel in distress.

"Get the fuck out of here." the familiar voice ordered.

"Chill, Barnes. We were just having a little fun," the man known as Rumlow reasoned nonchalantly. "Besides, it's not my fault if she wears clothes like this."

You were all about feminism and how women should be treated equally with respect despite their attire, but at that moment you hated yourself for choosing that deep-neck shirt this morning.

"I'm not going to chill while you sexually harass my employees, so get the fuck out of here," Mr. Barnes warned again.

You closed your eyes and hoped that maybe this was a shitty dream and you'd wake up in your bed and have an anxiety attack because of the nightmare. You hoped that maybe the ground beneath you would open up and swallow you, so you could just not think about this ever.

You heard two sets of footsteps faintly in the background, one dragging its way away from you and the other rushing towards you. Furthermore, you didn't have it in you to open your eyes and meet the ocean blue ones that you knew were waiting for you.

In your head, you had already taken up the blame. The verdict came out the moment his gaze landed on your chest that it was your fault that you wore this shirt. Of course, if you were thinking right, you would have realized that you were undoubtedly the victim here and Rumlow was an asshole who assaulted you, but in your helpless state, your mind decided you were at fault here.

TAGS: @bananapipedreams

#mobster bucky #mob bucky #mob!bucky #mob!bucky x reader #mobbucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky x you #mob!bucky series #bucky series #bucky barnes #bucky barnes series

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aitaikimochi · 3 years

Text

BNHA Team Up Mission Spin-Off Manga Chapter 9 Summary Translation

The Boku No Hero Academia TEAM UP MISSION manga Chapter 9 follows Bakugou, Todoroki, and Kirishima as they team up with Shiketsu's Camie to act in a stage play at a theme park. The chapter is really hilarious and lighthearted.

The title of the chapter is “That’s Totally Overdoing the Illusion!”

Here's the entire chapter summary! Enjoy~

Boku No Hero Academia TEAM UP MISSION

By Akiyama Youkou

Chapter 9 That’s Totally Overdoing the Illusion!

The chapter starts off with Bakugou, Kirishima, and Todoroki on a Team Up Mission at a theme park called “Future World.” They arrive at the theme park and Kirishima says the theme park is amazing. Todoroki notes that it’s really big, and Bakugou says, “Whatever, it’s just for kids.” They then are approached by Camie, who says, “Omg no way! U.A. is like, here too??”

Camie says “I’m like so totally excited to be meeting up with some hotties again, like woah!”

Bakugou says he has no idea what the hell Camie is saying, and Kirishima exclaims, “Oh! It’s a Shiketsu student from the Provisional Hero License Exam!” Kirishima proceeds to introduce himself in his intense manner, and Camie says that he kinda acts like Inasa.

It turns out that the Team Up Mission requires U.A. Academy to team up with Shiketsu at the amusement park to assist the staff with something. They meet up with the CEO of the park to figure out what exactly he needs help on. The CEO is a tiny man with a large mustache dressed up like a jester.

The CEO asks them to follow him to another side of the park, called Retro Land. This theme park is a run-down and old looking traditional theme park with barely any customers. The CEO of the theme park says that he brought them here to take part in a stage play to attract more customers.

He hands them a script, which is about a town being attacked by villains. The heroes show up and fight the villains, and the heroes end up in a pinch. However, with the help of the citizens cheering them on, the heroes are able to restore peace back to the city.

Kirishima hears the outline of the play and gets excited, saying it’s such an awesome mainstream story. Bakugou scoffs and says, “but it’s damn basic.” Kirishima then says, “Nah, I like it!”

The students then go into a rehearsal of the scene where the heroes are in a pinch. One of the professional actresses, a Dog Lady wearing a skull choker, low v-neck vest, studded belt, and long pants, says, “Oh you guys are actually heroes? Then you probably haven’t acted before?”

Kirishima then tries to do his best acting, saying “Gahh…I’m…strong….guhhh I won’t…fall down…I’ll never turn my back…because I….I….!!!” and overdoes his acting.

Camie then says “Like holy crap the Villain blindsided me, and now I’m on the floor like discarded bubble tea!”

Todoroki just falls onto the floor silently. Bakugou tries acting, screaming “I WILL NEVER FALL TO THE LIKES OF A VILLAIN!” The Dog Lady actress asks them if they were actually even trying to act, and they all say they were doing their best. The Dog Lady says she’s a bit worried about how this will go.

In either case, they need to decide which role everyone will be taking part. The Dog Lady instructs them to decide among themselves who will get what role.

Bakugou and Camie both say at the same time they want to be the lead Hero role. Camie says, “Wait, but I’m older than you so I totally should be the lead Hero role!” Bakugou gets mad and screams, “BUT I AM THE STRONGEST ONE HERE. BESIDES, I AM Q.E.D.!**”

Camie says “Damn yo, that’s the lowest of the low” and Bakugou yells, “Shut the hell up and speak your mother tongue, damnit!”

Kirishima tries to calm him saying, “Calm down guys, Camie-senpai too…!” He then notices that Todoroki is looking at a child’s playground bear spring rider, and Kirishima asks, “Oh, do you want to ride it? The staff did say we could enjoy the park as much as we’d like!” Kirishima mentions that they never really had a chance to go to a theme park ever since entering High School, and being at a theme park feels nostalgic as it brings back memories of his childhoold.

Todoroki then says, “No…I don’t have any memories of ever going to a theme park.”

Camie looks at Todoroki and says, “Uh, like no way?”

Kirishima then grabs Todoroki and says, “WELL IF THAT’S THE CASE…JUST PRACTICING OUR LINES WILL GET STALE, SO LET’S ENJOY THE THEME PARK!” and rides the bear spring rider together with Todoroki.

Camie wants to join them too, and she, Kirishima, and Todoroki go on a carousel while Bakugou gets irritated. Camie is taking a picture for Kirishima and Todoroki on her cellphone while Kirishima calls out to Bakugou saying, “Heeyyy! Bakugou, come join us!”

Bakugou scoffs, “Hmph, waste of time.”

Kirishima, Todoroki, and Camie then ride a roller coaster together and Kirishima shouts, “It’s fun you know!”

Bakugou says, “This is no time to be playing with these stupid toys…!”

Kirishima then grins and says to Bakugou “All right then, if that’s the case, let’s decide who gets the lead Hero hero role by seeing who can get the least dizzy from the tea cup ride!” This piques Bakugou’s interest, and Kirishima further taunts him saying, “If you’re not confident about it, then you don’t gotta force yourself!”

This gets Bakugou fired up and he says, “I’m going to spin this shit and kill all of you guys!!!!!!!” He sits in the tea cup next to Kirishima, Camie, and Todoroki and spins it like crazy. Camie looks like she’s going to throw up and says, “Wait…Bakugou…you’re like, turning it way too fast!”

Bakugou looks at Kirishima and taunts, “HOW IS IT!? YOU DON’T LOOK SO GOOD. GONNA GIVE UP YET!?” and Kirishima yells back, “YOU MUST BE JOKING! NOT EVEN CLOSE! TURN IT UP!!”

Bakugou then screams, “PLUS ULTRAAAAAA!!!” as he spins the cup so fast it looks as if they are not moving at all. Camie squeaks “Helllaaaaaaa…”

After they get off the ride, Bakugou, Kirishima, and Camie are wobbling around and walking unevenly, with Kirishima accidentally heading towards the direction of the girl’s bathroom in his dizzy state and Camie about to throw up on the floor. Bakugou sways and proudly points at no one, saying “You bastard, you’re all dizzy!”

Kirishima says, “Guh…did…didja see that, Bakug….erghh!” Camie says she’s going to hurl. Todoroki asks, “Uh, where are you guys even going?”

Kirishima then notices that Todoroki is completely unphased, and he asks “Todoroki…you’re okay!?” Todoroki responds, “I feel a bit uneasy…”

With that, it’s decided that Todoroki gets the lead Hero role. They then head back to the stage, and there’s a few people in the audience already as well as two camera men who will be filming this performance and uploading it online later.

All the students are ready for their performance, and as they act out the first scene, a group of people corner the CEO and threaten him. The group are land developers who tell the CEO to give up Retro Land since it’s going out of business anyway. He grabs the CEO in a chokehold, but the CEO says he won’t hand over the park to these people.

As this is happening, Camie, Bakugou, Todoroki, and Kirishima go backstage after their first act. Camie says they can take a short break until the next scene. Kirishima remarks that the camera was focused a lot on him, but Bakugou says he’s pretty damn sure he was the one getting more spotlight.

As they walk backstage, they see the group of people threatening the CEO. Kirishima, Todoroki, and Bakugou easily take out these villains, but the villain tells the CEO that they had planted a trap at the roller coaster in Retro Land where a part of the roller coaster tracks were destroyed. The ride operators did not know this, and there’s currently a cart that will be falling off the roller coaster tracks soon. The villain mentions that no one would want to go to a theme park after hearing of such a bad accident. Kirishima realizes this and rushes first to the roller coaster ride.

Meanwhile, Camie is wondering what to do because their break is over, and they’re due to be on stage again. Since the boys are dealing with the villains, she decides to create illusions of all of them and wing the performance off script with her illusion versions of Bakugou, Todoroki, and Kirishima.

She recreates the pretty boy Todoroki illusion, who turns to the Dog Lady, who’s playing the role of the villain, and says, “Won’t you…please stop being a villain? You should become a Hero instead!” and the Dog Lady blushes and immediately falls for it, saying “YES…!”

Since Camie can’t access the script right now, she just decides to ad lib everything and make up a new story. She makes the Illusion Kirishima turn out to be the actual villain of the story, and the camera men who are in the audience wonder what happened to the original script.

On the other side of the park, Kirishima is already on top of the roller coaster tracks and uses his hardening to stop the oncoming roller coaster cart. He tries to stop it but the cart still keeps going.

Bakugou then comes behind him and steps on his back, and Kirishima looks back and says “Bakugou!”

The guy on the front seat of the ride screams “Why are there two people [on the tracks]!?”

Bakugou says that there’s not enough manpower to stop the roller coaster. He places one hand on Kirishima’s back to support him while using his other hand to set off a huge explosion, propelling them forward to nullify the movement of the roller coaster cart.

Back at the stage, Camie is doing her best trying to improv the play. Her Illusion Villain Kirishima gloats that he will fulfill his revenge. The Illusion Todoroki cries out, “No! Please stop this fight!” while a very quiet and calm looking Bakugou places his hand on Illusion Todoroki’s shoulder.

The real Bakugou and Kirishima are still trying to stop the roller coaster cart from going further, and Kirishima hugs the front of the roller coaster as Bakugou continues to use his explosion to stop the cart. They finally successfully stop the coaster, and Kirishima falls back in relief, showing a dent in the front of the roller coaster cart in the shape of his body.

Just as they saved the roller coaster cart, Camie was finished with the play as well. The two camera men who were filming the play were so moved they started crying at how good the play was. One of the camera men mentions that he wants to bring this Hero Stage play around the entire country because it was so moving.

The resolution scene shows the Illusion Villain Kirishima shaking hands with the Illusion Quiet Bakugou with the closing line, “And with that, the hero that looked the most like a Villain was able to open the actual Villain’s heart and let him turn a new leaf.”

The crowd cheers as Illusion Bakugou and Illusion Villain Kirishima continue to shake hands.

At the roller coaster, Todoroki assists the people in the roller coaster cart off the tracks by using his ice to create an emergency ladder. Kirishima then smiles at Camie and says, “Good work Camie-senpai! You did it!” Camie looks like she’s going to hurl again since she overused her quirk, saying “I feel hella sick…I like, overdid the illusions…hella…”

With that, the four students finish their training at the amusement park together. Later that week, the Retro Land Stage Play was uploaded onto a video streaming site, and the video got 1,200 likes and counting. The show was a hit online, and because of that, Retro Land’s popularity bounced back and more people started going to the theme park.

However, because of the stage play, Kirishima, Bakugou, and Todoroki also gained some new fans.

The last scene shows the two camera men hiding in the bushes with cameras while Bakugou, Todoroki, and Kirishima are walking.

Kirishima ask them, “Hey uh…do you guys get the feeling we’re being watched…?”

THE END!

#boku no hero academia #bnha #bakugou #bakugou katsuki #todoroki #todoroki shouto #kirishima #kirishima eijirou #camie utsushimi #my translations #this chapter was super funny especially the part where they get off the tea cups and walk all wobbly lol

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logan-please-smile-speaks · 3 years

Text

also you’re required by law to read through the whole thing sorry not sorry

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello? Barry? Adam? Can you believe this is happening? I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs, Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. You got lint on your fuzz. Ow! That's me! Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! Hey, Adam. Hey, Barry. Is that fuzz gel? A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around The Hive. You did come back different. Hi, Barry. Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. Hear about Frankie? Yeah. You going to the funeral? No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp under the circumstances. Well, Adam, today we are men. We are! Bee-men. Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of 9:15. That concludes our ceremonies And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick our job today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. Wonder what it'll be like? A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to The Hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! That girl was hot. She's my cousin! She is? Yes, we're all cousins. Right. You're right. At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. What do you think he makes? Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. What does that do? Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Can anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Check it out. Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside The Hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. Hey, Jocks! Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! I wonder where they were. I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside The Hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. Couple of Hive Harrys. Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! Oh, my! I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. Six miles, huh? Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. Maybe I am. You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? Well, there's a lot of choices. But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! Barry, you are so funny sometimes. I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! You're gonna be a stirrer? No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. We're starting work today! Today's the day. Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... Is it still available? Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. What'd you get? Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Couple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. You want to go first? No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. Any chance of getting the Krelman? Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? I'm going out. Out? Out where? Out there. Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. Look at that. Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. Thank you. OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! That's awful. And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. Antennae, check. Nectar pack, check. Wings, check. Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader, We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! Ever see pollination up close? No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Cool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow, Could be daisies, Don't we need those? Copy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Chemical-y. Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Candy-brain, get off there! Problem! Guys! This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Coming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. Should we tell him? I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! Do something! I'm driving! Hi, bee. He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him.It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. You could put carob chips on there. Bye. Supposed to be less calories. Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Come on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. You're talking. Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. I'm talking with a bee. Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. Wait! How did you learn to do that? What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. That's very funny. Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Can I... get you something? Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. It's just coffee. I hate to impose. Don't be ridiculous! Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? I shouldn't. Have some. No, I can't. Come on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. Where? These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for The Hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. You do? Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. Really? My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. Why do girls put rings on their toes? Why not? It's like putting a hat on your knee. Maybe I'll try that. You all right, ma'am? Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Can I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. Thanks! Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. Sounds amazing. It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. Do they try and kill you, like on TV? Some of them. But some of them don't. How'd you get back? Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. Well... Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! No, no, no, not a wasp. Spider? I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. Her name's Vanessa. Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside The Hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? They call it a crumb. It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! You know what a Cinnabon is? No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! Thinking bee. Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! We're still here. I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! Then why yell at me? Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. Where are you going? I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. What is wrong with you?! It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? cute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? Is he that actor? I never heard of him. Why is this here? For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? Well, yes. How do you get it? Bees make it. I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! It's organic. It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools,hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. You almost done? Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Crazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. And you? He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! What is that?! Oh, no! A wiper! Triple blade! Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! Bee! Moose blood guy!! You hear something? Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. Bees hang tight. We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. What if you get in trouble? You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! Hey, guys! Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. Check out the new smoker. Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. What? Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. You wish you could. Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! That would hurt. No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, The Hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Chung. Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from The Hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. Is that that same bee? Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. Hello. Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. Frosting... How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. Oh, those just get me psychotic! Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. What's the matter? I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Case number 4475, Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Call your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? No. I couldn't hear you. No. No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. Where have I heard it before? I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! Order in this court! You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! Say it! Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. Ken! Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little Mind Games. What's that? Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! You're bluffing. Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. You got the tweezers? Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. Good friends? Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? Yeah, but... So those aren't your real parents! Oh, Barry... Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? Objection! I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! Adam, stay with me. I can't feel my legs. What Angel of Mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed Turn Against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. Hey, buddy. Hey. Is there much pain? Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then...and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Could you get a nurse to close that window? Why? The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? What are we gonna do? He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. What if Montgomery's right? What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Can't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups and there's gallons more coming! I think we need to shut down! Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Cannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? Are they out celebrating? They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now... Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? What did you want to show me? This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course... The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? I'll sting you, you step on me. That just kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the Last Chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? Roses are flowers! Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? Could you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. Bees. Park. Pollen! Flowers. Repollination! Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. Where should I sit? What are you? I believe I'm the pea. The pea? It goes under the mattresses. Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic... without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security. You and your insect pack your float? Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? Remove your stinger. It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Captain, I'm in a real situation. What'd you say, Hal? Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species... What are you doing? Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! Is that another bee joke? No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. Who's that? Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... That's Barry! ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." Get this on the air! Got it. Stand by. We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. Black and yellow! Hello! Left, right, down, hover. Hover? Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. That may have been helping me. And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. You snap out of it! You snap out of it! You snap out of it! You snap out of it! You snap out of it! You snap out of it! Hold it! Why? Come on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. Black and yellow. Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Can you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Come on. You got to think bee, Barry. Thinking bee. Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. What? I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! What in the world is on the tarmac? Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Vanessa, aim for the flower. OK. Cut the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! Not that flower! The other one! Which one? That flower. I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. This is insane, Barry! This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Come on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! Yes. No high-five! Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! Thank you. But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our Last Chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. When will this nightmare end?! Let it all go. Beautiful day to fly. Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Can we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

wow you made it, good job

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myhauntedsalem · 3 years

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13 True Horror Stories from the Psychiatric Ward that Will Give You the Creeps

Death, illness and tragedy have long been part of the history of insane asylums, and for as long as they have existed, so too have the scary stories associated with them. From haunted hospitals to sadistic doctors and nurses, psychiatric wards have been the inspiration for many of our favorite horror movies and books. Yet, the true stories told by the psych ward workers below far surpass any horrors that we might have seen at the cinema or read in a book.

Without further ado, here are thirteen of some of the creepiest psych ward stories on the internet that have been shared by health care professionals.

1. Holding her own Eyes

My mom told me this story from her time at a neuropsychiatric ward while she was in grad school. She was making her routine room checks and happened upon the most horrific scene I’ve ever heard.

This was during the night shift, and generally, all the patients’ bedroom doors should be closed. So my mom turned a corner and noticed an open door. She saw a staff member’s legs on the floor, halfway out the doorway.

When she looked into the room, she saw the patient, a woman with a severe postpartum psychiatric disorder, who had just gouged both of her own eyes out with her bare hands. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor, holding her eyes in her hands.

The first staff member to witness the scene, who was now lying face down on the floor, had a heart attack when he first witnessed the woman while he was making his rounds.

My mom screamed for help and frantically tried to perform CPR on the staff member. All the while, the woman just sat rather calmly, holding her own eyes.

2. The Saw

I work as a psychotherapist in a hospital system. My definition of creepy is probably quite a bit different from other medical professionals.

The one that got to me the most was a patient who came to us after attempting suicide by sawing both his arms off at the forearm with a table saw. His arms were reattached, fairly successfully too, with only limited impairments in mobility. All I could think was how bad it would have to be to live in his head that sawing his arms off seemed better than that.

He has since completed suicide.

3. Jane?

We had a young lady in our custody with quite a few issues. We’ll call her Jane. Jane’s first night at our facility staff doing a bed check found Jane in a puddle of blood. Turns out Jane had been slicing the skin around her shin with her finger nails and was pulling her skin up her leg, essentially de-gloving her calf.

Jane also had a ritual she performed every night before bed. While in her room she would run between walls in her room touching them in a crucifix pattern. After doing this for a few hours she would sit on her bed and go to sleep. This particular night Jane was frantic in her pace, practically running between walls. Our night staff observed the entire interaction and reported Jane screaming late into the night. When the staff went to check on Jane she reported Jane standing in the doorway smiling. The staff asked what was wrong and Jane replied, “what makes you think you are speaking to Jane?”

4. The Vampire

My mom worked in mental institutions in her younger years (and actually worked at a large, well-known asylum before it was shut down.)

There was one woman there that thought she was a vampire of sorts. She was only allowed out one hour a day, and they had to use safety precautions. She had already attacked and killed at least one hospital worker before these were enacted.

When my Mom asked about her, it was revealed that she had killed at least two of her children, wounded another as well as her husband because she had some sort of physical condition called Porphyria, which apparently made her crave blood.

By the time that they discovered there was something physically wrong with her, she already had lost her mind from guilt and grief.

5. The Spitter

I’m not a psychologist but my friend is. She told me about a patient of hers who was HIV positive and a paranoid schizophrenic. He thought that the nurses who worked at the hospital he was in were trying to kill him, so he would frequently bite his tongue, and spit HIV positive blood into their faces/mouths. When they had to come into contact with him, they were required to wear full masks and gloves.

6. The Only One

I once knew a woman who had spent part of her residency at a psychiatric hospital for people with severe mental conditions. Apparently, the grounds had a lovely, enclosed greenhouse. One day, one of their schizophrenic patients was sitting on a bench, smoking a cigarette, as a heron frantically flew around. It had found its way in and, not being able to escape, it was smashing into the large panes of glass. The man just sat there watching.

Finally, my counselor asked him if the bird was bothering him and he kind of sighed and said, “Thank god, I thought I was the only one seeing that.”

7. Family Photographs

My sister is the director of a psychiatric hospital. There was recently a lady there who would cut her arms, legs and torso open and place photographs of her family under her skin.

8. Under the Bed

Once, a fellow female patient told me she found writings under her bed. They were just old, small wooden bed frames with hard mattresses that would make all kinds of noises when you rolled over, but I still wondered what exactly she was doing lying under her bed to find these writings.

When she first told me, I thought it was a joke. But sure enough, one day during group we managed to sneak away, and she showed me. Indeed, there were stories written under her bed. After that, we had everyone check under their own beds, and there was more writing under every single bed.

They were stories of patients who had stayed here before, or ways they were planning on killing themselves, or who the good and bad nurses were. It creeped me out.

9. Time of Death

Well, my mother was a nurse that specialized in geriatrics, and she worked for several hospice hospitals for many years. She often described situations at her work with several of the patients. She would say that each person tends to have a very similar “checklist” that they follow right before death. This checklist often ended in a very similar way.

They would get caught talking to someone that wasn’t there. When asked who they (otherwise lucid people) were talking to, they would describe an individual who was already dead. When asked what they were talking about, they would say that their relative wanted to know if they were ready to move on. A pretty common response would be, “Yeah, he/she said that she will take me tomorrow at 3:00.” Well, it would often happen that they would die at the exact time their relatives quoted.

10. The Test Subject

I had an hour-long conversion with a delusional guy who was confined to a mental health facility, and who was probably smarter than I am. Lots of these folks believe that somebody – often the CIA – is either beaming thoughts into their heads, or has implanted a microchip in their brains for this purpose. This guy was offering a very thoughtful argument as to why such claims should not be so quickly dismissed.

“It’s precisely because such delusions are so common that mental patients make the best test subjects,” he said. There he was, confined and protected, constantly observed, his health and behavior documented, and there is zero chance that anyone would ever take his concerns seriously. How else would you test and improve such technology? Does the government not have a strong motivation and a plausible ability to create such a device?

“You can see I’m not irrational,” the man said. “I’m just straight-up telling you that they are doing this to me. I know just how unbelievable it sounds, and yet, here I am.”

11. The Boy who Loved Knives

As a tech in psych years ago, there was a 7-year-old kid sent to the floor because the mom didn’t know what to do with him. Sadly, common thing to happen, even if the kids don’t have psych issues. Anyway, the mom was shaking and crying, and they had to take the kid into another room. She was genuinely afraid of her own son. She had suspected something was wrong when she kept finding mutilated animals in the backyard, but never heard or saw coyotes or anything around. The neighbors smaller pets started disappearing. The boy had an obsession with knives, hiding them around the house. Denying anything when the mom confronted him. Then when the two started getting into arguments, he would get really violent and hit her, push her down and kick her, threaten to kill her. On multiple occasions she woke up in the middle of the night with him standing beside her bed, staring her in the face. She put extra locks on her bedroom door to feel safe while she slept. The last straw was when she lifted up his mattress and found 50+ knives of all shapes and sizes under there. So she brought him to us.

I remember talking to him, treating him like he was just any other kid that came through. He seemed remarkably normal, until you spoke directly to him. He had this way of looking right through you, or maybe like he didn’t see you at all while you were speaking.

He would respond like a robot, like he was just saying words because that’s what we wanted to hear. And he would always put on this creepy, dead-looking smile. Like all mouth and no eye involvement in the smile. Especially when he would get away with something, like taking another kid’s markers and they couldn’t figure it out. Still gives me chills laying here thinking about him.

I believe I met a 7-year-old psychopath.

12. The New Mom

I was a pharmacy technician at a hospital with a psych ward for some time. We would have to go around with a cart and dispense the patients’ medications, and being a 5’2″ girl, a security guard or male nurse would accompany me, just as a precaution. I never had any real issues other than the occasional death grip onto my arm or manic outbursts, but there was one boy who was entirely different.

His chart said he was nine and he had pale skin, dark hair, and huge bright, green eyes. He always greeted me in the most polite way, asked how I was doing, and always found something different to compliment me on every time. He was extremely well-spoken and mature for his age, so I began looking forward to seeing him, as normal small talk is definitely cherished in that setting. If he saw me outside of his room in the halls, he made sure to say hello and always called me “Miss Jones” or “ma’am.”

One day, a couple of our female nurses saw me pause to chat with him in the hallway, and waved me over to ask if I was out of my mind. Apparently, when he was in kindergarten, he grew an intense attachment to his young female teacher.

This escalated to the point of him calling her “Mom” and leaving notes for her about how he wished he were her son. He had a normal home-life with both parents, and the teacher tried to explain to him that she couldn’t be his mom because that would hurt his real mother’s feelings, and that she already had that job covered.

So, he went home and, killed his own mother in her sleep by cutting her throat, so his teacher could be his mom. The female staff had a general rule of not interacting with him excessively to prevent any kind of attachment from forming.

13. Bugs

Nothing I can say can possibly describe the year I worked in Psychiatric Intensive Care. Creepy isn’t the thing that comes to mind when I think back on it…more heartbreaking and horrifying. But creepiness was a part of it. Especially evening and night shifts, naturally.

There is always something disturbing about watching someone while they hallucinate. You can tell it is 100% real to them, and something about that makes you believe it, on some level. A lot of stories end with, “and of course, I had to look over my shoulder to make sure”. You see the emotions it brings out.

There was a woman that came in and sat down across the table from me for her admission interview. She had bandages all over her arms and scotch tape over her mouth and ears. She looked very uncomfortable and wouldn’t really sit still. When the nurse would ask her a question, she would peel the corner of the tape back and answer, then stick the tape back on really fast.

We eventually found out that she saw and felt bugs crawling all over her, and they were trying to get inside her body. The tape was to keep the bugs out. The bandages were because some bugs got in and she had to dig them out. She couldn’t sit still because she felt the bugs all over her even while we sat and talked. The worst part was, she had some idea that it was her mind playing tricks on her. Can you imagine going through your life, feeling like someone is continuously dumping buckets of cockroaches on your head, feeling like they’re all over you and getting inside of you to the point that you’re digging chunks out of your flesh in a panic, all while knowing intellectually that none of it is real?

#13 True Horror Stories from the Psychiatric Ward that Will Give You the Creeps #shared stories #paranormal #ghost and spirits #ghost and hauntings #haunted salem #myhauntedsalem

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