#learning to love myself again

[parkersgnome]

When you can finally love yourself on the inside bc you realize your worth as a human being <3

#self love #self help #self care #self improvement #learning to love myself again #Today was hard-working and stressful as usual #but I didn’t let it get to me bc I remembered all my hard work be worth it at the end of the day :)

[thegreatlarryfisherman]

I remember thinking these were some fire ass selfies because I felt like I really did my makeup well that day.

#my face #learning to love myself again

[stergeon]

"I was laughing but at the same time I really wanted to give El a hug, I felt so bad for her"

Edelgard: Thank you for your concern but I am quite alright now.

Um, what's going on with this?

Byleth: Hey, I'm not complaining. Ever since we got together my squat game has been insane. My ass has never looked so good.

#fe3h #fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #edelgard von hresvelg #byleth eisner #edeleth #byleth x edelgard #edelgard #sterge.pptx #another one from reddit #i love drawin goofy shit #speaking directly to the camera like she's on the office #feel like i'm forgetting something here. hmm. worried about it. #it's not edelgard's hair slash crown. that's MIA on purpose. #[stares at my text post from january 23rd] i already broke my promise to myself by drawing edelgard's crown again yesterday #i did not elect to do it again today. we are serving Emperor Casual #oh well. #byleth needs to learn to stop wearing heels #idk how people with a large height difference do it #i’ve been informed that f!byleth is in fact closer to 5’4 or 5’5 #i don’t know how i got it in my head that she’s 5’7 #but i’ve decided i don’t care anyway. we’re going by Rule of Funny

[seraphbutch]

Happy late trans day of visibility I've been surrounded by so much trans love lately I am so blessed✨️✨️

#personal #tdov #meee! #selfie #i am starting to love myself again though the horrors persist #i will learn to live again!!!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Worry not for the Nameless Red Disciple, they just went down to the river to chill with the river turtles!

#poorly drawn mdzs #nameless red disciple #tulu xuanwu #Not calling this mdzs as it *barely* counts #I will have this character appear in the story again but for now they are going on a personal journey to find themselves #and also hang with turtles #are they spiritual turtles? no they are just the normal variety of wise and beautiful semi-aquatic creatures #LSZ really just found one off to the side and picked it up. Once again I must bring up the consequences of disturbing wildlife #In this fictional setting its fun but don't actually pick wild animals up and hide them in your sleeves. #but it does hold true that girls LOVE turtles. Boys too. People who aren't either also love turtles #turtle is a universally loved entity #and now NRD is learning their secrets! They will be unstoppable! #meta note: This is part of my slow plan to dig myself out of my deep pit of inbox backlog. #I love all the messages but oh man I have been in survival mode for 2 months

[reineydraws]

shanks reminds me of jmw turner's paintings so i wanted to put them together 💥

sketch for the painting under the cut!

#shanks #akagami no shanks #red hair shanks #red haired shanks #red force #one piece #one piece fanart #op fanart #it's kiiiiiiind of what i wanted #i was thinking about how people's eyes flash red when they use conqueror's haki #so i wanted to marry a red sunset by turner with a shanks portrait but it proved kind of difficult to balance the degree of abstraction lol #he's not as terrifying or scary or intimidating as i wanted to convey but the pro of that is that it looks more like a turner portrait #maybe one day i'll try again with a more stormy vibe but yeah the colours and emotion were pretty difficult to put down #i love turner #i tried to explore the more painterly brushes in procreate but i just ended up falling back on my favourite ones aha #the vibe i tried to capture is better conveyed in the sketch 💀 it's the shading. the shading helps convery it better #and i had to sacrifice the shading for the abstraction around his eye. ah well; learning experience! #anyways i know i just posted smth yesterday and also three hours ago but this is my blog and i will post if i want to #(i have to affirm this to myself literallt every single time i feel like im posting too much lmao) #i digress #oh btw that's a marine ship on the left about to go down from haki. jsyk.

[idolomantises]

there's something so comforting about artists you admire talking about their own struggles and insecurities

#txt #was watching supereyepatchwolf's video on chainsaw man again and listening to fujimoto express regret about things he didnt learn #and how he's clearly envious of his peers is so... comforting? #i think about my own strengths and flaws and often times i get so frustrated with my shortcomings #im not good at drawing feet; my backgrounds are purposefully simplistic and lack a lot of detail; sometimes my designs have a tendency to #overlap or feel very 'safe' in terms of what i really want to do #its why; despite my love for clowning on media and animated works. i never want to feel like its from a place of malice #the joy of art is always seeing those little mistakes and nuances. its also noticing the achievements other creators have made that you #still lack #even for a certain hell-based show i love to poke fun at for its many. many issues. its undeniable how incredibly passionate the work is. #and i do respect anyone who is willing to get their flawed media out there (myself included) #i see stuff about people calling me their inspo or how flattered they are when i compliment their work and its like. gee. i hold myself at #such a high bar and even still im always surprise when people tell me how much my work moved and changed them #i really love writing just little fun things that i just dont really see anyone else touching and its kind of fun how despite my own #personal grievances with my own flaws and mistakes #people really do find things that they love within them. #anyways I know this is getting long but I’ve just been getting sentimental abt the creation of art #sometimes people make fun of me for love of drawing women and lesbians and bugs and so on #and while I will never let me deter me from my process. sometimes it does get to me #but then I remember that I love doing this and could ever see myself holding back #and knowing despite how other people feel. I have so many followers who resonate with my weird ass shit #that it’s all worth it. ya know?

[fatuismooches]

i have been silent but that does not mean i have stopped thinking about dottore

based off of some fanart i saw, im like. 99.9999% sure zandik rarely heard any nice stuff said to him n i dont know why but i just. imagine this in my head. its such a tender, vulnerable and soft moment where zandik, probably akademiya or early fatui days, fits himself between your legs as he wraps his arms around your waist. his head laying comfortably on your thighs as he sits on his knees. its a moment that shows his trust, you know? allowing himself to be small before you, a rare act of submission to your love as your fingers play with his curls, palms warm and soothing as you cup his cheek. n' u just tell him things that he struggles to believe, like how he's so beautiful, and that you care about him, how he deserves to be loved even though he's perceived as a monster. and i dont know, but i wanna gently raise his head by his chin, softly smile at him and say "zandik, you're a good boy." because i know no one has ever ever said that to him, not even his parents.

healing his parental issues frrrr 💪💪💪 IS. IS THIS WEIRD??? IDK IT KINDA SOUNDS WEIRD BUT I DONT KNOW, IN MY HEAD THIS IS JUST. EVERYTHIN FOR ME.

this is just how i imagine zandik, honestly I DONT KNOW WHY BUT THE FANART I SAW FUCKS ME UP AND I WANNA CARE FOR HIM AND PAMPER HIM AND MAKE HIM FEEL THINGS NO ONE CARES ENOUGH TO MAKE HIM FEEL.

i want that boy to be treated like a pretty girl by taking him out on romantic dates and writing him love letters he's 100000% gonna keep, laminate and immortalize. i want to treat that boy like the fragile thing he is, hold him in my arms and kiss him so so gently.

ITS DRIVING ME NUTS.

oh yeah. totally not projecting onto zandik. NOPE. nuh uh. totallllyyyy....

THAT MENTAL IMAGE YOU'VE GIVEN ME... oh my gosh. i am so soft right now. Sniff sob... Zandik being so open and vulnerable in front of you :( OH EDBEWDWE HIM IN THAT POSITION IS MAKING ME CRY HE'S SO CUTE... you have no clue how you managed to get him to be so submissive but you're not going to say anything nor are you going to squander this opportunity. You're not even sure if he's comfortable like that, sitting on his knees but... he seems unbothered and quite actually, content with nuzzling his face into your thighs, having your hands run through his fluffy blue hair soothingly. For once, he is almost eerily silent, instead of being all fight and rebuttal all the time, as he doesn't seem to have a smart answer for your gentle words this time. It's new to you, not him vehemently denying your statements, but you're going to take advantage of it, holding his cheeks and kissing him all over, whispering in his ear softly but firmly about how much you love him and everything you love about him, and that you always will.

CALLING HIM A GOOD BOY... i am on the floor in a puddle and sobbing. Kai your brain >>> peak. But it makes me so sad to know that Zandik's literally never received any kind of positive form of affection all his life 😭 Not even his parents... like fuck I'm in pain for him. It took reader SO long to even break his first wall down (he has like a dozen probably) because of how poorly he was treated by the people who were supposed to "love" him :( he just really needs some love :( i think after a really long time, Zandik would come to really crave your appreciation sometimes. Like, he doesn't make it obvious or anything, but he'll do something like perhaps deal with some fellow scholars without snapping at them, or anything he doesn't really do in general, and look at you expectantly if you haven't praised him yet. Because you're the only one who has ever praised his efforts.

HE DESERVES TO BE PAMPERED SO BAD 😭😭 ugh i know Sumeru is mostly hot and you two can't have any cold bundled up days over there but. i love the idea of you two snuggling and sleeping in one morning. Both of you know you're gonna be late for class, but you're like, fuck it we're skipping. And Zandik scolds you, but he's making no effort to leave either! So... you two just stay in bed cuddling as you pamper him (you definitely were the big spoon quite frequently back then here 😭) Slow and lazy morning as you wash his hair and body in the bathe 🥺 breakfast that you made as he looks over his notes 🥺

Bro i can't even imagine Zandik's reaction to you trying to treat him like a pretty princess 😭 Even when you two are dating he just doesn't understand :( why do you go so far for him? What he gives you in return is far less than what you provide for him... he just doesn't understand, but it seems like you're wholly content with everything the way it is so... he won't let you go.

#smooches talks #moots: kai <3 #dottore love notes <3 #that image is the exact representation of me as well #AND DONT WORRY THIS WASNT WEIRD AT ALL!! i love it *hugs u* i will come and wrap u up in a blanket burrito myself #again this is zandik learning that not every relationship is transactional

[skinnypaleangryperson]

I can't imagine how quality my life would be if people were willing to listen to niche, incredibly strange cornered personalities. I'm such an interesting person, but people don't speak my language 98% of the time and nobody cares to unless you speak the mainstream, boring oversaturated languages that people speak with celebrity pop culture, influencers, and the so forth. The worthlessness that I feel from not being able to fit into mainstream society has made a black mark. Still, the niche incredibly strange personality persists.

I'm just a incredibly strange mentally ill, genuinely schizophrenic incredibly imaginative maladaptive daydreaming mentally ill person who cannot tell fantasy from reality, but I feel like it could have been so much more than that if society had spaces for more niche corners like us to speak.

#I'm so depressed that I promised myself I wouldn't post anymore #but looking at the four neurodivergent people that post in the tags I check even if they end up paying me #*hating me #is enough to get me going again at least for a little bit #I don't even bother with fandom anymore nor does it excite me because I've been rejected from BoJack culture in every way #but I'm still madly in love with him and have psychotic maladaptive disorders about him so it doesn't matter #so I just casually interact #assume that people are going to treat me like trash and move on #most Bojack fans are excessively neurotypical much like the characters and the people that made it #and neurotypicals absolutely despise me especially since I'm becoming increasingly more insane as I get older #just internet junk anyway so it barely matters #I learned plenty from the discord and of the cursed thing that you call a reddit group

[parkersgnome]

I talked to my mom and felt so much better…

#I’m glad I’m doing what I can to get my shit together :) #self help #self love #self care #learning to love me #learning to love myself again

[waywardskychaser]

I’m sure it’s been said before, but I’m still gonna say it. OF COURSE Lazlo made Guillermo’s vampirism struggle his business. My guy acts like he could not give less of a shit about what happens to anyone in that house, but then immediately makes it his problem. He did it to Colin Robinson and he’s at it again. Mans is a nosy bitch with a soft heart and I love him.

#dude literally heard Colin say: #I wanna learn more about energy vampires #and then immediately went to go look for the obscure passage he vaguely remembered #then hid it from Colin FOR A YEAR to protect him #all the while trying to give him the best year of his life and then actually remembered his bday #then mans took care of baby Colin for years (2?) and asked for no help why? #bitch made it his issue #he needed a new thing after Colin grew up again #immediately noticed Guillermo was a little off (I think before everyone else?) #and proceeded to stalk him to find out why #immediately confronted him to fix it as soon as he thought he knew what was going on #is now hiding protecting and helping Guillermo #why????? #cuz he’s a nosy bitch and he loves his family that’s why #love that man #sry for tag rant #was gonna keep it to myself but Lazlo called Guillermo the boy in the most recent episode and it reminded me of how he was with baby Colin #I couldn’t be normal about it anymore #wwdits #wwdits spoilers #what we do in the shadows #what we do in the shadows spoilers #lazlo cravensworth #guillermo de la cruz #colin robinson #baby colin robinson

[skitskatdacat63]

helloooo you haven’t heard from me in a while but since i consider u an f1 historian i just saw on tiktok a video of an intro (before the 2012 korean gp i assume) where they had the drivers with gangnam style as the music… i was wondering if you might have it since that has been driving me insaaaane 😭😭 thank you sm catie have a lovely day 🫶

Hallo!!!! Nice to see you again! I'm glad I can be held in such high esteem 😭 But please anon, we def saw the same tiktok, this one, right? A great thanks to the op on tiktok who linked me the video!!

Why did you have to force me think again about all the Gangnam Style stuff in F1 in 2012 though????(ex. BBC vid with PSY, vid/pics of Seb and Mark with PSY, both learning the dance, as well as other clips of drivers such as Felipe and Nico dancing)

#no because i spent literally an entire hour trying to find it myself and failed..... #i am so ashamed LMAO but thank god for that person linking it #and its so annoying bcs i literally looked on twt using the exact keywords and it didnt show up??? #AND ITS EVEN WORSE BCS I LITERALLY HAVE THAT TWT ACCOUNT OPEN IN ONE OF MY TABS #i digress: i like to make things hard for myself apparently #my search history was just me losing my whole fucking mind #though ive learned a lot about older german f1 content! #such as a commercial where niki lauda plays a cowboy as well as a michael schumacher rap #f1 needs to slay and be camp like this again(paraphrasing Cofi) #its so cringe but i love it #those pics tho of sebmark with psy haunt me tho 😭😭😭😭😭 like why did you make me think of that again #but jfc has it rly been 10+ yrs since gangnam style??????? #fernando alonso #sebastian vettel #kimi raikkonen #kimi räikkönen #lewis hamilton #michael schumacher #nico rosberg #(its so fucked up we didnt get mark or jenson) #f1 #formula 1 #2012 korean gp #2012 korean grand prix

[flamboyant-king]

Hey babes, sorry I've been dead, but I coulda been literally dead if I had not gone.

I didn't hurt myself and we're still figuring things out. I would love to share but I've already forgotten what I've learned. I hope I get more guidance and time for healing and learning on how to lead my life in a better direction than where I was. But that takes time and effort.

I hope to get some rest, get some support, and get it together. But right now, I don't think it's healthy for me to worry about art in the way I do now. I may not express it here, but trying to maintain my art endeavors/projects while there's so much bullshit going on backstage is not helping me. Especially since I'm not even obligated to do so. But trying to force myself to do something I am currently unable to do will just make me feel worse. I'll follow my dreams and passions one day, but I've been putting off the healing process for years.

So I guess it's better to get better now so I can get the ball rolling again. Why drive on a flat tire?

#i was in there for a week and ill continue partial hospitalization for a few weeks #i hope i learn more and i hope i get specific help to my issues. because whay i learned there didnt directly pertain to me #but having structured daily life felt nice. but it wasnt all relaxing because there were still responisibilites on the outside world #tapping on the window or calling me on the phone. chose the best time for a meltdown. i have taxes and credit card bills to take care of #but if i stress about it now ill jsut be going back to the ER and thats no good. the hospital was so cold dude im glad im home with blankets #this is mr octopus again. im glad i broguh hom to work. i went straight to er from work and if i had no plushie with me #i probably would have stayed longer or be even more mentally unstable and distressed. its good to have comfort items #i dont think i want to know ehat if be like without some kind of companion or grounding item with me. i dont want to imagine me without em #its okay to have a little friend with you. i would be so distraught. everyone loved me there #the nurses the patients the residents yhe social workers the students #mr. octopus made them happy because of his big smile and mine too. the people there did not expect the mass amoutns of stress and depression #in this bubbly happy baby witb a happy pink octopus. one of the patients thought it was the meds the happy pills they gave me #no im jsut naturally like this. or artificially like this. i still dont know how to express or understand my feelings #if what im showing is real or not because i know ill be the happiest in the room wherever i go. maybe its a front or a mask #but when im like that kinda hard to know whats really underneath. they always ask me if im okay but i turn to myself #and its nondescript like ive put a blanket over how i really feel. its weird. the bubbly energy is blinding. #words #mr octopus #mental health #doodles

[abtheb]

April 28, 2023

Despite everything, it's still you.

#me #ive cut back on lifting a lot due to injuries and struggles with my joints and instead picked up lane swimming in march #i had never used a public pool in my life and never swam with intent before #it was new and kind of terrifying but i needed to move my body again in a way that didnt cause pain #the first few times were pretty rough- i couldnt swim well or hold my breath and struggled with the repetitive motion and breathing #one day beams of sunlight shone through the airy space and large windows and cast shining watery reflections on the pool's bottom #i had been learning water caustics for 3d art and i loved to watch them #its gotten a lot easier now and i can let my mind wander and enjoy the sensations instead of worrying about drowning #the cool water on my skin #the muffled amniotic sounds of bubbling fluids #the mosaic tiles and patterns #the sunlight and caustics #every time i go its a social stress test- but I've gotten better at handling it and it helps me connect with other people in a tiny way #i dont know what the future of my body's training will look like as i plow into middle age #but im proud of myself for doing something totally new and finding joy in it

[coffeemira]

need an age regression/de-aging fic where a post-KH4 riku has to take care of a younger sora, and bb sora is just completely awestruck over how strong and kind and pretty (and tall!!) his best friend riku got… and is so transparently smitten that riku, who is actually dating present-day sora, is just like: wow we really were oblivious how did either of us miss sora’s glaring crush on me??

#soriku #i’m picturing like… sora right before kh1 or post-kh2 #old enough to have butterflies over this other riku but not quite old enough to know what it means yet #just a puppy crush #there’s angst potential too if it’s kh2 sora before he found his riku #so he throws himself sobbing at older riku #but a BBS sora bouncing around teen riku would be very cute also #anyway i would write it myself but i don’t have the time #also am not confident about writing children #i just want riku getting to see firsthand that he wasn’t the only one pining for years and years #and that sora always loved him even at his worst #8yo sora doesn’t care that his riku teased him sometimes he still wants to play games with big riku #10yo sora doesn’t understand why his riku said they’re too old to hold hands #and is thrilled that big riku is happy to give him hugs and ruffle his hair #kh1 sora doesn’t care about their old ‘rivalry’ or that his riku was working with maleficent #he is just overjoyed to learn that riku came back to the side of light and that they get to be friends again #kh2 sora is loud about how much he missed him and very impressed by how far riku has come as a keyblade master #(also blushes when he sees him working out and then is confused as to why) #(i am thinking of that one manga panel where sora talks about riku’s “big arms” and how he can carry big logs by himself lmfao) #any of these soras would follow a cool older riku around like a duckling and be wowed by everything he does i am convinced

[puppyeared]

I CANT USE CSS ON ARTFIGHT...............

#I WAS REALLY HOPING TO FIX THE FUCKING. PARAGRAPH WIDTH. SIGH #idk why but it stretches across the ENTIRE page like. it takes up the full width of the browser and it BOTHERS ME. ON ALL THE PAGES #i could try manually putting shift breaks but im worried it might not look so good on mobile. ugghh... auyggghhh..... #im already learning CSS and API so i thought i could put it to good use but. AUGH #this whole time ive had to go into the inspect panel myself and change the padding so i dont have to read the length of the screen #like a fucking typewriter... i would have also loved to use custom fonts and animations...... #i did find a guide for BBCode which the site uses on default and it covers basic styling but its not the same. sniffle #you CAN unlock CSS if you donate $25 to the page which seems fair. and if i could do it i would but. i do not have any way of #sending or receiving money online </3 i really need to figure out how to do that so i can set up comms like i said i would last summer #but it intimidates me.... and im already kept on a short leash when it comes to that so it feels like a lot of things could go wrong #i think toyhouse allows CSS or some sort of code...?? i remember seeing some oc pages with custom layouts #if thats the case i'll try fiddling with it but im not very familiar with using toyhouse so thatll take a while #(thanks again for the code sal ^_^ ill put it on my pin once its ready but im trying to learn my way around the site heh ;;) #at least i can use my pixel dividers.. ive been digging around for pixels to use and found some really cute ones #yapping