#and i do respect anyone who is willing to get their flawed media out there (myself included)

[idolomantises]

there's something so comforting about artists you admire talking about their own struggles and insecurities

#txt #was watching supereyepatchwolf's video on chainsaw man again and listening to fujimoto express regret about things he didnt learn #and how he's clearly envious of his peers is so... comforting? #i think about my own strengths and flaws and often times i get so frustrated with my shortcomings #im not good at drawing feet; my backgrounds are purposefully simplistic and lack a lot of detail; sometimes my designs have a tendency to #overlap or feel very 'safe' in terms of what i really want to do #its why; despite my love for clowning on media and animated works. i never want to feel like its from a place of malice #the joy of art is always seeing those little mistakes and nuances. its also noticing the achievements other creators have made that you #still lack #even for a certain hell-based show i love to poke fun at for its many. many issues. its undeniable how incredibly passionate the work is. #and i do respect anyone who is willing to get their flawed media out there (myself included) #i see stuff about people calling me their inspo or how flattered they are when i compliment their work and its like. gee. i hold myself at #such a high bar and even still im always surprise when people tell me how much my work moved and changed them #i really love writing just little fun things that i just dont really see anyone else touching and its kind of fun how despite my own #personal grievances with my own flaws and mistakes #people really do find things that they love within them. #anyways I know this is getting long but I’ve just been getting sentimental abt the creation of art #sometimes people make fun of me for love of drawing women and lesbians and bugs and so on #and while I will never let me deter me from my process. sometimes it does get to me #but then I remember that I love doing this and could ever see myself holding back #and knowing despite how other people feel. I have so many followers who resonate with my weird ass shit #that it’s all worth it. ya know?

[lingshanhermit]

Lingshan Hermit: When can it be said that you have stepped onto the path of liberation?

True cultivation begins when a person truly recognizes and admits that they have problems and is willing to follow the teacher's instructions to slowly change bit by bit. Cultivators do not conceal, cover up, make excuses for, play semantic games about, self-deceive about, or try to outsmart their teachers regarding their own problems. They know who their real enemy is and will not target the wrong opponent. They truly believe in their teacher, are honest with them, willing to cooperate with them, and have sufficient resilience, patience and preparation. This may seem not difficult, but in fact it is a level that most people will not reach in their lifetimes. Most people, first of all, have not figured out what cultivation really means. They think cultivation is chanting, reciting mantras, attending rituals, receiving empowerment and studying theory. No one tells them that cultivation requires honesty, nor does anyone tell them about the connection between cultivation and self-deception. Many who believe they are cultivating have in fact never cultivated at all. Either they are deceiving themselves or embellishing the facts, or they are playing hide and seek with their teacher, or engaging in some combination of these games. Do not fantasize that such people are able to admit their own mistakes. Getting a person used to self-deception to recognize their own problems is even less likely than getting Trump to voluntarily stop talking.

If a person is in the habit of lying, deceiving themselves and distrusting others, they basically have no chance of entering true cultivation. Because true cultivation requires the ability to examine oneself, honesty, and complete trust, and these two qualities cut off all their possibilities of establishing proper teacher-disciple relationships.

In the past, I have seen some extremely crafty people who got along well with everyone at rituals and always spoke appropriately. But when listening to them talk, you feel comforted, and think they are good people with good cultivation. But I know that they actually distrust everyone, and none of their words are sincere. They conceal everything about themselves very well. Such people are highly perceptive about human nature, tactful and adept socially, very successful in worldly affairs, but are the worst cultivators. The best cultivators, while knowing all their own flaws, also clearly understand that their true nature is no different from Manjushri or Shakyamuni, yet they are neither arrogant nor servile about this.

Written by Lingshan Hermit on February 7, 2024.

Copyright Notice：All copyrights of Ling Shan Hermit's articles in Simplified and Traditional Chinese, English, and other languages belong to the natural person who owns "Ling Shan Hermit". Please respect copyright. Publishers, media, or individuals (including but not limited to internet media, websites, personal spaces, Weibo, WeChat public accounts, print media) must obtain authorization from Ling Shan Hermit before use. No modifications to the articles are allowed (including: author's name, title, main text content, and punctuation marks). We reserve all legal rights.

灵山居士：什么时候，才可以说你已经步入解脱道

真正的修行起始于一个人真正知道并承认自己有问题愿意依师教言一点一点去改。修行者对自己的问题不掩饰、不遮盖、不找借口，不玩文字游戏、不自欺、不和老师斗智斗勇，他知道自己真正的敌人是谁，不会找错对手。他真正相信自己的老师，对他坦诚，愿意和他配合，也有足够的韧性耐心和准备。这看上去好像不难，但其实是很多人一辈子也达不到的境界。大部分人首先就根本没搞明白什么是修行，他们以为的修行是诵经持咒法会灌顶学习理论。没有人告诉他们修行要诚实，也没有人告诉他们修行和自欺之间存在着什么关联。很多自以为在修行的人，其实从未修行过，他们不是在自欺就是在文过饰非，要不就是在和老师玩捉迷藏，要不就是这几种游戏一起玩。不要幻想这样的人能认为自己有错，让一个习惯自欺的人承认自己的问题比让川普不说话还要不可能。

一个人如果习惯于说谎自欺习惯于不相信别人，其实基本上他就没可能进入真正的修行。因为真正的修行需要审视自己的能力、需要坦诚、需要完全的信任，而这两种品质切断了他所有建立正确师徒关系的可能性。

以前我见过一些堪称人精的人，她们和法会里每个人关系都很好，说的话也非常合适得体，只是听她讲话你会觉得如沐春风，你会觉得她人很好修行也很好。但是我知道她其实是不信任任何人，她的话也没一句是真心的，她把自己的一切都隐藏的很好。这种人洞察人性，长袖善舞，在社交上游刃有余，世俗上很成功，但却是最糟糕的修行者。而最好的修行者，他们在知道自己一身毛病的同时也清楚自己的自性和文殊释迦无二，但他们既不以此为傲，也不以此为卑。

灵山居士写于2024年2月7日。

[arab-character-of-the-day]

Submit your fictional character of choice by sending an ask or messaging me, they can be from any type of media as long as it’s not harmful/racist representation.

For more details and disclaimers please read below:

1- Canon Arab characters are of course the most preferred type of characters to be submitted, but since a lot of media don’t really specify their characters’ ethnicity, then characters that are  ambiguously Middle Eastern/North African without any specification or are from a fictional country/nation that are supposed to be in the MENA are also welcomed to be submitted, but please make sure that they aren’t canonly confirmed to be a non-Arab Middle Eastern/North African (ex: Persian, Kurdish or Turkish..etc) because I don’t want to steal representation from any other group in the region.

2- Non-human characters, whether they were aliens/genies/animals/spirits, that you feel are Arab-coded are also welcomed to be submitted, but human characters will have a priority over them when it comes to posting.

3- Media about ancient people from Arabic countries in pre-Arabization times are also welcomed, because even though they didn’t identify as Arab back then, their modern-descendants do and they have the right to see themselves in their ancestors if they wish too, but again those characters will probably be only posted in a slow posting day/if I run out of characters.

4- While I understand that Arab representation isn’t the best by a mile and that sometimes we need to lower our standards otherwise we will not have any characters to enjoy, I still would like for you to think really well about whether the character you’re going to submit is an offensive carnation or not, like I said I don’t expect every single character to be perfect representation and I’m willing to overlook some of their flaws, but there’s still need to be a red-line that shouldn’t be crossed, so if possible make sure to send me a mini-summary of the character when you submit them (as well as some HD photos of them!)

5- If you feel like any of the characters that were posted here are too offensive and it would be for the best if we pretend that they don’t exist then please DM your opinion to me and we can have a conversation about it and I may delete them, but please be careful on how you word yourself because I don’t tolerate aggressive rudeness.

6- And the most important issue: let me start by saying that I completely respect any North African who wish to identify solely as Amazigh, I will never force you or anyone to identify as something you don’t want, but at the same time I need you to understand that the Arab ethnicity is a flexible pan-identity whose meaning has changed over the millenniums and that whether you like it or not millions of native people across all of North Africa do in fact identify as Arab and have been for many centuries now, with many simultaneously identifying as both Arab+Amazigh (since they’re not mutually exclusive) and those North Africans are as valid as those who only identify as Amazigh, so all I’m asking is for you to respect that and acknowledge that you really don’t have the right to speak over them and make generalizing statements such as “North Africans aren’t Arab!” since you can only speak for yourselves. With that being said, I will continue posting and accepting submissions for fictional North African characters, since obviously they’re not real-life people who can pop-out of the screen to tell me what they identify as, unless of course they or their creators have explicitly stated/hinted that they are not Arab/are only Amazigh, if that’s the case then please tell me so and I will gladly delete them and apologize.

If you don’t like these conditions then you’re free to block/mute me, otherwise please keep your opinions to yourself because I have no patience for continuous harassment and you will be the one to get blocked.

#rules

[honeydewmuses]

[continued from here with @not-bcring​]

Byakuya loves Makoto. He loves Makoto more than he thought was possible, more than he’s ever loved anyone.

But, God, can Makoto be stupid sometimes.

Byakuya lets Makoto say his piece before responding, but even as his stomach twists with pity and guilt, a cold anger spreads through him.

“Of course it wouldn’t be okay if I hit you. That would be horrible, and I’d never even think of it.

“But I’m not your father. I don’t get to make decisions on how to parent you. If your father broke your wrist— not that it’s broken, it’s probably just a twist or a bad bruise— I would have no right to tell him to stop. I would be upset on your behalf. But I would respect that that is his decision as a parent.”

Byakuya’s not honestly sure that what he’s saying is true, but he’s far too stubborn to backtrack.

“My father, for all his flaws, is a great man, and he wouldn’t hurt me if I didn’t deserve it.

“I called you for comfort, Makoto. I called you because I trust you to make things feel okay. I did not call you for life advice or long term housing or whatever this idea you have of eloping into the sunset is. And I am not more than my family name.

“I love you, dearest. I love you for your faith and hope and earnest way of seeing things. But you’re wrong about this one. Until Father retires, I am his pawn. But once everything is signed over to me, I become an easy contender for most powerful man in the world, and I use that power for good. For better than he ever would.

“The finish line is in sight. I stick this out and I have unfathomable wealth and power and connections and everything else a man could desire. I take you straight to the top, and we make this miserable world a little brighter. If I run away with you now, the only world I can brighten is yours. Which is worth everything to me, truly, but… it’s a coward’s move. It’s letting Father win, and giving up on everything I’ve endured all this for, and it’s not something I’m willing to entertain.

“If you can’t understand that, I’m going to have to ask that you find it in yourself to respect it through your confusion. I will be staying with you for one night, and it will be superbly pleasant and I will not want to leave in the morning and you will not want me to leave in the morning and I will leave in the morning anyway. Is that clear?”

Byakuya is painfully aware of how stupid he likely looks, trying to act all big and in charge when he’s the one who called up his boyfriend in tears and is lying limply in his bed. Not that that’s his fault. It would hurt his wrist too much to try and sit up.

That wrist had better heal fast. He’s got a conference coming up, and it wouldn’t look good to… wait. Wait.

“That said. If you’d care to bandage me up and make it look more painful than it is… I’m sure that would give him some pause, and perchance even get the media to sniff around. We make it look bad and briefly appear in public, I pretend to not notice the people taking photos, I go to the conference I have in maybe two days looking better, if not perfectly fine, and when they ask what had me all bandaged up I say, whatever are you talking about? Father never hits me all that hard, and, bang, his reputation is on the line.

“Of course, mine is still perfectly intact. If anything, I look better for being the poor pretty boy that’s being hit. Everyone loves an underdog, no?”

Byakuya pauses, the shine in his eyes flickering dimmer as he looks back at Makoto’s face.

“I’m sorry. That sounds awful of me, doesn’t it? Trying to capitalise off everything. Maybe this family really has ruined me. If you’d prefer to just pretend nothing is wrong for your peace of mind, I can do that. All I can’t do is let him stay in power any longer than he has to.”

#byakuya // ic // ultimate affluent progeny #not bcring #starring not bcring as makoto #long post cw #child abuse cw #physical abuse cw #((yeah his dad hits him :( i hate this man sm))

[chiizuburger]

Let's talk about the series Giri/Haji (2019) aka the most underrated series in Netflix

I literally just finished Giri/Haji and I need to talk about it. Because I don't think I've ever been this...in love with a series since ever.

First things first, I'mma share a little bit how I learned about the series:

I became obsessed with Sophia di Martino after seeing her in Loki, and like anyone with a heart, I looked through her IMDB to find where else can I see her?!

And I stumbled upon Flowers, which is an equally phenomenal series also available in Netflix, and I discovered Will Sharpe.

And lemme tell ya, he's a beautiful piece of mankind and I learned that not only did he write and direct and act in Flowers, but he is also the lucky husband of Sophia.

Then I saw that Will won a BAFTA for his role in Giri/Haji. Learned that it was also in Netflix and a week later (because I wanted to savor it), here we are.

Okay. No-spoiler thoughts first.

If you dig detective series and/or British series and/or Japanese drama, this delicious piece of bilingual media is for you.

If you love the whole "found family" premise, this is for you.

Off the bat, Will's character Rodney is the clear scene stealer of this series. Right from the first episode, you just know you're gonna love him and wanna give him all the love he sorely needs.

I adore that Kenzo isn't written as a macho detective lead. He allows himself to be vulnerable and isn't afraid to get in touch with his emotions.

Of course, as the Japanese man he is, it takes time for him to accept his emotions, but I'm happy he doesn't resort to anger or self-pity to deal with them.

I love how all the women--and I mean all of the women characters--are strong-willed and unapologetic and flawed and fierce and I-will-stab-you-in-the-legs-if-you-grope-me energy. All of em. They take no bull shit and I respect that.

It is particularly nice to see that kind of energy with Japanese women, who are often written as innocent and demure and pure.

My most favorite aspects of this series is its cinematography, its editing, and its storytelling.

The various ways it uses cinematic language and different forms of media to highlight important moments of the story really makes the series a well-crafted show.

My favorite episodes are Episode 3, 4, and 6.

Episode 4 was particularly memorable. It is one of the best flashback episodes I've ever seen and it deepens our perspective of every main character.

My favorite sequence comes in both Episode 6 and Episode 8, the finale.

Despite getting recognized by BAFTA, the show got cancelled after one season.

But you know what?

(Spoiler thoughts start under the cut)

I think it was a smart move to keep it a one-off drama.

Everything actually wrapped up nicely. There's one semi-loose end that I need reassurance about, which is whether Rodney and Sarah (our female lead detective) become friends again and Rodney can fully realize that he is loved by his newfound family.

Apart from that, this is one series where the semi-open ending finale trope works.

I think the whole Ian-might-rat-us-out subplot could have played out better? Or maybe it could not have played out at all? Like, maybe instead of Abbot being at the rooftop, maybe it could have been Ian?

I actually wasn't sure about how we should feel about Ian. I mean, he didn't deserve Sarah, but...he's...not...a bad...person? I mean, a sketchy detective and a bad boyfriend, yes, but it didn't fully read out to me as "don't trust him" or "stay away from him."

Because when Sarah said in the second episode that her ex was a man who did bad things "until he couldn't," I heard that as he physically abused her. Like, that shit of a man.

But...I don't know. Maybe I missed out on something.

Plus, WHO DID PUT THE SNAKE IN SARAH'S LETTER BOX? Was that some kind of sicko prank?! Did one of her neighbors have it as a pet and it accidentally went to her letterbox???

If Ian was worked for the mafia, maybe that would have worked better? Like, switch Vickers, for Ian, maybe?

Gosh, Vickers, am I right? I mean, who would have thought Justin Long would be a part of this?

ROY was a surprise. Did not expect that twist in the finale. I feel bad for him though because he was really just a bloke caught up in a sticky situation. Like, he's not a bad guy, too. He's just in a bad situation.

Huh.

It's like what Kenzo said, huh? "We're not bad people. We're just doing bad things."

Kenzo and Sarah, right? I felt like it wasn't necessary for them to get romantic, but after Episode 3 with that silent exchange, I appreciate that they went that direction.

I also appreciate that Kenzo was fully aware that he is married and Sarah was fully aware of it too. She knew it was the worst way to let light in.

And I'm glad that there was a moment between Kenzo and Rei where they allowed themselves (or at least Rei allowed Kenzo) to go off their separate ways.

I love the detail that Rei was actually in contact with Yuto and Natsuko is an badass old woman who likes to live on the edge.

The way she said, "Then we will fight" when Eiko and Rei worried about the yakuzas. I mean!

Okay, okay. I'mma back up a bit, because the reason why I thought the whole Ian subplot didn't work was because it felt like the writers eventually didn't know what to do with Rodney?

Like, why bring this kind of pain to Rodney?!

But then, you know, thinking about it as I am writing this, we all know Rodney would be with Taki and it might be Rodney who gets in trouble with Jiro.

Ahh, Jiro. That...dangerous specimen.

Glad he didn't kill Toshio.

But still, my biggest concern for the ending of this series is that we leave Rodney at such a low place.

Like, I just need to know that he needs up okay and he reunites with Sarah and Taki and all live together in London now. And Rodney's restarting his life with a better direction in life, but of course struggles with relapse?

Okay, I am seeing now where the second series could have went on. The creator said it would have been a "Rodney-Taki centric" season.

Gosh, so maybe they would have changed genre?! Aaaahhhhh! but who knows? I mean, I imagine the yakuzas are still after the Mori brothers.

But then again, Fukuhara and Endo are dead sooo...

Giri/Haji, right?! It's... It's a great piece of media.

Anyway, if you wanna talk about Giri/Haji, please feel free to send me a message!

PLEASE! Haha. Take care, y'all

#giri/haji #giri haji #giri / haji #kelly macdonald #will sharpe #yosuke kubozuka #takehiro hira #aoi okuyama

[fakecrfan]

Do you think Basira and Daisy had a healthy relationship?

I am so glad you asked! I have had a lot of thoughts about their relationship, but had decided to shelve those thoughts because I was worried it would come off as me telling people to not ship Daisira, which is... not what I want to be doing. But you sent me an Ask and so I am compelled to answer!

My answer is: no. Their relationship is toxic in one of the most interesting ways I have seen portrayed in media.

This might be a bit confusing to hear, though. Normally when we call a relationship toxic, it means that one or both of the people involved are making each other feel bad. But Daisy and Basira seem to make each other feel... good. Basira is apparently Daisy’s last human attachment, and according to Elias in MAG 92, and “not being able to see Basira again” is one of Daisy’s biggest laments in the coffin. And on Basira’s end, Daisy seems to make Basira feel... secure. Supported.

From MAG 117:

BASIRA

But at least Daisy’s coming. I mean, I know she’s… difficult. Everything they say about her, it’s true, it’s fair. But, she’s solid. She’s a… a fixed point, and if she’s there, I know exactly where I stand, exactly what I’m doing, relative to her.

From MAG 178:

MARTIN

We’re here for you.

BASIRA

No. She was there for me.

So, “attachment to humanity” “support” and “security” are good things in a relationship, right? Their love for each other (whether you read it as completely platonic or not) seems genuine, and they put each other first. That should mean that their relationship is Good!

Wellllllll no. Sometimes, a relationship can feel good while also... trapping you in a harmful cycle, or stunting your growth as a person. Think: a friend who is charming and fun who you love to drink with--to the extent that, even when you’re trying to manage an alcohol addiction, you end up going into situations with them that trigger your urge to drink. Also think: a friend who keeps bringing you sugary food even after you’ve been diagnosed with serious diabetes with potential life-altering complications--because you like donuts, they used to make you so happy.

Daisy and Basira are that to each other. In particular--Basira’s attachment to Daisy draws Basira back into dangerous situations and, by extension, causes her fall deep into that “siege mentality” that shuts down Basira’s more thoughtful side. 

When Jon confronts Basira about Daisy’s crimes in MAG 178, this exchange occurs.

MARTIN

[Loudly] Enough. Enough! Someone has died! Show some respect. Or don’t you care?

BASIRA

[Incensed] Of course I fucking care!

…

[Quieter] That’s the problem.

MARTIN

I… I don’t understand.

BASIRA

I just… I don’t need him laying everything out for me like I’m some kind of idiot. I know, all right.

I don’t think Basira is making anything up here to make herself seem better. Basira already knew there was a problem with the police, before Jon confronted her. She already knew Daisy was corrupt to some extent, even if she had trouble facing it head on. And--she already cared.

That’s why she quit. She didn’t need a revelation from Jon or anyone else to open her eyes. She didn’t even need to see harm happen to an innocent bystander. Instead, she saw how the higher ups were covering up the killing of Maxwell Raynor, of all people--

BASIRA

They’ve given us a few days ‘compassionate leave’. I think they just want us out of the way while they figure out the official version of what happened.

--and she quit after that. 

So, here we already have someone who is coming into an understanding of the police as a flawed system without anyone needing to tell her. Here we have someone who is already extricating herself from that system, because she cares about her impact on other people. From this point, she could easily have gone her own way, taken time to reflect and never hurt anyone again.

So what brings her back into the whole mess in MAG 88?

BASIRA

I’m looking for Daisy.

MARTIN

Oh for – Okay, I don’t know where she is! I don’t know where anybody is! Why does everyone… okay, why does everyone think that I always know where everyone is, all the time?!

BASIRA

Alright, okay, alright, sorry. They just… well, they said at the station that this was the last place she checked in.

--Her relationship with Daisy, of course!

She wants to leave the supernatural and the police behind. She tells Jon the Institute is bad (MAG 73) but she walks back in because she’s worried about Daisy. And then she throws herself right back in the fray to stop Daisy from killing Jon. Shortly after that, Basira has to sign herself off as a hostage to Elias…

ELIAS

She’s quite the killer, your partner. All in the public good, of course. And she was correct, I spent some time acquiring that evidence. Or creating it. And while your superiors don’t much care about the killings, the fact there is proof… They’re not happy. And they want you brought in.

--because of Daisy’s murders, Daisy’s reckless actions giving Elias leverage. Basira throws herself in with Daisy, and it draws Basira right back into a world of violence and the paranormal that she was trying to quit. It motivates her to, once again, cover for Daisy’s errors and justify them. This takes away any chance Basira could have had to gain distance from the violence, reflect, and get some perspective. Instead, she’s thrown right back into the siege. 

Basira doesn’t even show any sign of frustration with Daisy at this. It’s not that Basira is 100% meek. We see her get frustrated with people later, express grievances, and hold people accountable later--but with Daisy she doesn’t do any of this. Instead, she immediately re-affirms that she’s on Daisy’s side.

BASIRA

Daisy, it’s… it’s okay. We’ll figure something out.

Of course, it’s not a one-way street, either. It’s not an uncomplicated “Basira good, Daisy toxic and bad” story. It’s a mutually reinforcing cycle where they are both complicit. We see that in season 4, when Daisy tries to stop feeding the hunt.

People like to rag on Basira for her actions in this season but... her actions are actually also more complicated than a simple story of “Basira sabotages Daisy’s progress.” Because Basira misses the more resolute Daisy, yes, and wishes she had a strong protector instead of another person to help... but even with that, she’s still willing to support Daisy’s progress away from the Hunt!

In MAG 133:

ARCHIVIST

You’re not happy she’s back.

BASIRA

I didn’t say that, John. I will never abandon Daisy, and… having her back is… (she sighs) But right now she’s dead weight, and I need to be able to travel light.

Basira wants someone powerful to protect her, is conflicted that she doesn’t have that but still will never abandon Daisy regardless. And, true to her word, she does support what Daisy is doing.

From MAG 140:

BASIRA

We’ve talked about it. If the Hunt takes her again, we don’t know if she’s coming back. And neither of us want that.

In MAG 146, she even praises Daisy’s path of resistance.

BASIRA

You didn’t know what you were doing.

[Daisy makes a pained sound, as if to contradict her, but stops.]

BASIRA

And since you did, you’ve spent every waking hour resisting.

So, Basira is--true to Elias’s word--being Daisy’s anchor to humanity. True to her own word, she’s having Daisy’s back, supporting her decision to quit the hunt even if it means Basira has less back up. So what changes?

MAG 155:

BASIRA

Because I’m not going to lose her.

ARCHIVIST

She goes hunting again, you might anyway.

BASIRA

And if she doesn’t, she might die.

Even at this point, Basira’s worst impulses are always about Daisy. Even when she undercuts Daisy’s progress, it’s about Daisy’s wellbeing. All she wants to do is make sure Daisy’s alive and okay, and to that end she will throw out all of her rationality and moral principles.

And then, when Daisy does finally give into the hunt, it’s for Basira.

It’s... funny to analyze and critique this behavior, because I have seen this sort of behavior in Jon/Martin fics treated as a sweet and romantic thing. You know, the “I want you to keep being a monster because I don’t want to lose you!” thing. And also the “prioritizing each other over everything else in the world” thing. Because the concept of unconditional support, of putting another person first above everything else in the world--it’s an alluring one.

But with Daisy and Basira, even though their relationship isn’t necessarily romantic, we see how harmful that mindset can be. How someone can care for you, prioritize you, make you feel like the whole world, and... the main effect of that is to stunt you, to give you so much comfort you never get out of a harmful cycle or change your behavior at all. How it can cause you to enable horrible things in the world, like police brutality. 

That is the story of Daisy and Basira’s relationship. It’s about the effects of this cycle on Basira--yes, Basira specifically and not Daisy, even though the cycle is mutually reinforcing and affects them both.

Basira appears in nearly twice as many episodes as Daisy. Because of this, Basira is the one we see discussing the relationship and what it means to her. Basira is the one we see grappling with the psychological fallout of their relationship. It’s more Basira’s story than Daisy’s--not because she’s the “victim” or that she was morally pure but because... Basira is the one who ultimately grows past this.

After episode after episode of “she needs me” and “I can’t leave her” and “I can’t let her die”--after Basira endangering herself and stunting her own growth by centering Daisy

DAISY

Partner… Come…

[MORE FOOTSTEPS]

BASIRA

Not now. Not after everything.

--Basira finally breaks free, and moves on.

#taiey #basira hussain #daisy tonner #tma #the magnus archives #my post #tma meta

[kakashi-tsukuyomi]

400 Follower Event

This is the first time I will be doing this! As a way of saying thank you to everyone who has followed this blog and supported my fics, I am throwing an event to celebrate reaching 400 followers! Thank you again to everyone.

Couple Profile With Your Favorite Character

Send me a Naruto character you ship yourself with, and I will make you a couple profile! 

This was inspired by the tag game going around Tumblr, and I thought it would be fun to turn it into an event.

What do you need to send me?

Any character from the Naruto series you ship yourself with.

A short profile or description about yourself. (i.e. MBTI type, 3-5 main traits you have, your hobbies and interests, or if you strongly identify with your zodiac sign, that’s ok too)

After that, I will make a couple profile of you and your chosen character!

A few rules:

This event is purely for fun, so please don’t take the results too seriously! If you don’t like your results, you may message me privately about it, but please don’t be rude or disrespectful or you will be automatically blocked or reported. :)

I respect diversity in all forms of art, and I believe that everyone has the right to be represented in the media. Although, I feel that I am not in the position to write about something I lack in experience or research, and I don't want to misrepresent nor offend anyone. Having said that, for now, I can only write about hetero relationships and pairings. Please bear with me, and I hope for everyone’s kindness and understanding on the matter. :)

I will do a maximum of 2 couple profiles per character only. First come, first serve. 

I’ll be releasing 2-3 profiles weekly. As your girl is busy and drowning in work, I will open 10 slots only for this event. 

Lastly, have fun!

Example under the cut

Hi! I ship myself with Kakashi. I’m INFJ-T. I’m thoughtful, sweet, have a good sense of humor, affectionate and a bit of a worrywart. I’m into art and music and I like being creative. I enjoy going to concerts, reading books and I love dogs, as well.

Couple Profile

Kakashi is an INTP, and in the world of MBTI, the INTP/INFJ pairing is considered as the “Golden Pair”! These two types are considered as a highly compatible pair, and I think you two would go along really well, both in friendship and in a romantic relationship. You both share some traits in common, as well as differ in some, but Kakashi seems to be a very understanding and mature person, so I think he would be willing to understand you as a person and accept you for who you are -- differences, flaws and everything.

Strengths: As mentioned, you both have a lot in common, which makes it a lot easier for you two to get along with each other. You both enjoy solitude, and most likely can find comfort in moments of silence with each other. You are both intuitive, and as it seems you are a thoughtful and sweet person yourself, I can see you both taking care of each other. His ways in showing how he cares may just be more different than yours. You’re affectionate, and you might like to show your love for him through more obvious ways while he might express his in more simple, subtle ways. Kakashi also seems to be a very rational and logical person and gives off a calming presence, which can prove to be a comfort to your worrying nature. He is very understanding and patient, and can help you calm down and reassure you whenever you feel overwhelmed by your worries.

Weaknesses: He is more of the Thinking type, so his approach to things might be more rational and objective compared to you, who might be more leaning towards your emotions. That can be a cause of arguments, but also I see it as something that is good. You both can balance and provide what each other lacks, therefore helping each other see and understand things more clearly, helping each other grow. Also, as an INFJ, his tardiness and laxity about it might bother you, but considering also the real reason behind it (and where he has been spending his time), you may want to be more patient and understanding with him. 

Dates: I think Kakashi is a pretty chill guy, and he wouldn’t mind just hanging out in the park or in coffee/tea shops, reading books with you! And walking-the-dogs dates?? That would be really cute. Seeing as you love art, I think he might also appreciate it and go with you on museums/gallery dates. Painting and craft-making dates might not be his thing, but I’m sure he wouldn’t say no to you if you invite him to join you some time. He would be the supportive and encouraging boyfriend, although as mentioned, in a sort of low-key way. He might also accompany you to concerts if he also likes the band/s or musician/s playing, or if he thinks you need some protection from perverted concert-goers lol, but if it’s too crowded or loud, I’m not so sure. Definitely not a mosh pit person also. But if it’s an intimate concert with your favorite band, probably also in an unplugged concert setting, I think he would definitely accompany you.

Love Advice: Kakashi has been through some rough times in his life, and it might not be surprising of him to pull away from you from time to time, so he will need a lot of patience and understanding from his significant other. When he does, give him the space and time that he needs, but also be there for him. He might not admit it, but he needs you. The man loves you; it’s just that he can be confused and doubtful of himself and if he ever truly deserves you. So, you would need to reassure him of your love when that happens. Also, at first he may be aloof and slow to opening to you and to your affections, but I can see that in time, he will and might even be the one to initiate physical intimacy. ;)

So, that’s it! If you have any questions, feel free to message me. My ask box is open, and I’ve opened it to anons, as well. Remember -- have fun! And be nice. ;)

Photo used can be found here.

#400 follower event #naruto x reader #kakashi x reader #anime couple profile #naruto couple profile

[tundrainafrica]

So I see your a LeviHan shipper!! I enjoy the ship a lot too!! But are there any specific reason that their your favorite?? Maybe you could explain that a little through a list? But anyways I hope your week has been good so far, Sav. Have a good day/night!!!! - Signed by Your Secret Santa 🎄

Hello! Thank you for asking about my week (and my ship). 

I enjoy the ship a lot too!! But are there any specific reason that their your favorite? 

To answer that first question...

You’re in for a long rollercoaster ride of a rant because I don’t think I’m the type of person to ship anything to the point of writing domestic fluff fics unless the I felt really really drawn to the ship. 

Anyway, (slight) spoilers abound! Will keep manga spoilers subtle, mostly Levihan scenes.

Disclaimer: I do not want to start shipping wars. I specifically avoided the words like should or best because I recognize that shipping is generally based on preferences. I respect everyone’s preferences on what they want out of a ship or even a relationship and through this, I just hope to express my own preferences and maybe even gush with people who agree.

1. The ship did not move the plot. The plot moved the ship.

Attack on Titan is not a romance or a shojo, if it’s not fairly obvious from any chapter you would randomly read. As a reader, I would have expected it to fall short with pairings. Most shows which are not romance based tend to have a few pairings which just suddenly end up together towards the end of the manga because “What’s a happy ending without marriage and kids?” There is usually a trend of just pairing of the extras and sometimes, or maybe even more often than not, it just seems to come out of nowhere (ehem... Naruto.). Maybe the relationship worked off screen but I dunno. Like no shipping war here but the only pairing I had full support for was Shikatema. 

In stories classified as romances, there is enough of a spotlight on the sexual tension and mutual pining of specific characters for the romance to be considered reasonable. In my opinion, some authors tend to sacrifice really good world building for a good romance. Objectively twilight for example had some crazy good world building but it just kinda focused a little too much on emo Bella and emo Edward for the world building to actually be appreciated by the casual reader. Tbh though, this is not necessarily bad because people get into stuff for reasons, sometimes, I just wanna read a good fantasy, sometimes I just wanna read a good romance.

Romances though as a main driving point for narratives, require some convenient serendipity moments and sexual tension which can be written well but as a reader, I prefer to see more natural relationships born out of necessity (Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata is a good example of what I’m talking about in a romance novel.)

Attack on Titan through its narrative actually made Levihan seem VERY VERY possible. If I had to compare the presentation of this ship in canon to at least one relationship in other anime, I would compare it to Royai from FMA. 

Like, if Attack on Titan didn’t give us random subtle hints about romantic or just platonic relationships between the two or even about anyone, even if Levi and Hange did get together in the end, it would have been one of the pairings, I probably wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow at. 

But they could be just friends? Which brings me to my next point.

2. Their current situation makes it so it’s only natural that at the least, they considered it. 

Yes. Friends is a valid interpretation for anything. I mean, given our hook up culture, people can fuck as friends too. People probably have made out drunk as friends too. Like I have seen my fair share of this type of bullshit in high school and college and I would say, we do not need a kiss or a fucking session to recognize that something can be a good relationship or to recognize that they have probably thought about it. 

A relationship requires a commitment (conscious or unconscious) to caring for the other, keeping the other safe, recognizing their flaws and thinking about them regularly (Call me scott peck or marriage counselor but like I honestly think the world would be a better place once people recognize that quality romantic relationships are worked for).

Mind you, Levi and Hange lost everything.They literally lost everything from their old life, all their friends, all their loved ones and all they have is each other and they’re forced to take care of a bunch of kids.

There are people who have said before, no one gets very close with someone without ever considering a romantic relationship with them. Or even if they never considered it romantic, they could consider at least “living with them their whole life,” or “supporting them through thick and thin.” The things is, towards the end, they were constantly together and what drove them to that situation is that both of them are aware of what the other had lost. They understood each other more than anyone else and they recognized that they were the only ones left in their own circle and I personally think that is more than enough for a relationship to naturally bloom between them.

3. The relationship and the signs are subtle and it works.

I personally probably would not have enjoyed it if canon showed a romantic relationship of the two after Erwin died. It’s a valid interpretation to consider that it could have happened, based on my explanation for number 2 but Hange is commander, Levi is captain. They have a professional relationship and they have goals and obligations which take precedence over personal desires. They are in the middle of a war and the most which probably could have happened was a secret mutual pining between the two and I think Isayama has injected the most subtle hints which are the most that could have been appropriately put into canon without seeming too OOC. Hange and Levi are not selfish people. They have promises, dreams and obligations which they respect and have committed themselves to already. It has also been shown at earlier points of the manga that they do put their survey corps duties on top of everything so acting on a romantic attraction at that point in time would have definitely been inappropriate. 

I personally think, the scenes of Hange going out of her way to save Levi as commander, killing her other soldiers to save both their asses, suggesting in the forest that they live together instead of go back to the war and not leaving an injured Levi until she had no choice were more powerful than a lot of romantic scenes where people actually fuck and kiss. Kissing and fucking are easy. Leaving the duties and responsibilities they have worked for for five years to keep the person they love alive hits way harder. 

Call it platonic. Call it romantic. But no one like Hange would have deserted her post as commander for a few chapters to take care of a sick comrade and kill her subordinates to save their asses if there wasn’t anything between them. 

4. It gives a great example what healthy relationships can come from. 

I grew up reading sweet valley and chick lits cause I was a basic bitch and I kinda grew up with a somehow unrealistic idea of where relationships come from. Call me a late bloomer but I only actually figured out where the romance and the happiness of a relationship was when I got into one with my best friend for five years. 

It’s the sexual tension and the “will they wont they?” push and pull which can lead to satisfying sex or a happy ending in romance novels. I think in a way, media kinda overglorifies it which kinda gives a lot of young people the wrong idea about why they getting into a relationship is fun in the first place.  Because after the satisfying sex and the kids, what’s next for the relationship?

Years of utility bills, diapers, chores, schedules, parent teacher conferences and compromises until someone gives up or dies. And what kind of relationships can actually thrive through all these? 

Those that have mastered the underrated parts of relationships. These include conflict resolutions, compromises and open communication. I think we have seen enough of those two, even before season 3 that have shown that they know each other very well and they have shown to at least have a relatively equal power dynamic which is a foundation for open communication and mutual trust in relationships even beyond the fucking and marriage stage 

5. They have a great foundation of character development for both parties.

As I mentioned above, they have a relatively equal power dynamic. I love Royai from FMA and I have compared Royai to this multiple times. I would say though I prefer Levihan over Royai because I felt that Royai had more unequal power dynamics? (Though I still think Royai is a top tier ship ). Also, they have shown to tell off the other when they don’t like what the other is doing. They are complete opposites but here is the magical thing. They talk everything out. They’re generally open people to each other and they know each other way too well as hinted in scenes before and opposites work as long as the others are willing to compromise. I think (especially in season 3 and season 4) that they have done enough for each other and have compromised enough for each other in the survey corps that these skills could easily be brought with them even after the war.

That open communication is just what makes them maintaining a relationship while being complete opposites very OC and realistic. Eventually, they did probably did make compromises, which most likely softened or moderated the crazy parts of their personalities which is just a really fun part of their relationship to explore. 

6. It could realistically last so maybe ...

7. A good foundation for happy children?

Maybe it’s how it is written because of the actual story and why would Yams write a romantic drama in a story about genocide and war. Tbh, I would attribute it more to Levi and Hange’s personalities though because Mikasa and Eren have their fair share of drama, mostly one sided though coz Mikasa. This relationship has no drama, no misunderstandings which just further supports my point that they have a relationship that thrives on open communication and mutual trust. Drama is fun like when we’re the ones on the sidelines eating the popcorn but I have third wheeled enough people in my life to realize that I will not support a relationship where both parties are just not ready to be mature about it, in real life and in fiction. 

My favorite couples, in real life and in fiction, are definitely those who keep conflict among themselves and maybe among trusted people. I think one sign of a healthy relationship is one where problems don’t become public through social media or through like 20 people. One important yet underrated part of relationships is the atmosphere of comfort and freedom which encourages both parties to be able to directly approach one another before tensions and uncertainties get out of hand.  

And a life free of dramas at least in the early stages of life just kinda shows at least that both parties are ready to bring a new life to the world? Because like immature parents with shitty conflict resolution skills really fuck kids up man and I passionately believe the world would really be a better place if babies were born out of trust, mutual understanding and open communication instead of sex but yeah, make sex fun to keep our race alive.

So anyway, I guess, I just finished explaining why I love this ship so much while also disclosing my preferences for relationships. 

As mentioned above...

Disclaimer: I do not want to start shipping wars. I specifically avoided the words like should or best because I recognize that shipping is generally based on preferences. I respect everyone’s preferences on what they want out of a ship or even a relationship and through this, I just hope to express my own preferences and maybe even gush with people who agree.

Other pairings which I support for those curious: Shikatema, Royai, Victuuri, Percabeth etc.

Also... To answer your second question... 

My week has been great, some pretty solid life developments but US elections wise, not so great... (WHY IS THE ELECTION RACE SO CLOSE?)

#levihan #levi x hange #levi x hanji #levi ackerman #hange zoe #ship #analysis

[itsclydebitches]

(WLW anon) I really don’t like the “bad rep is better then none at all”. I hate that. We should want good rep, because bad rep has been used time and time again by homophobes as to say we shouldn’t get representation. To me it’s not “gay can have the same flaws as het”, it’s “fix the flaws in the het”. Also I know Renora being independent was a good, I was just saying in comparison BB. Also, yes, they were separated, but also didn’t stop thinking about each other. Especially bad with Yang.

Indulge me for a moment because I want to take a trip down memory lane and list some—just some—of the queer rep that has been important to me over the years:

Ellen comes out both as herself and as her character… years later, she’s a hated millionaire who is criticized for how she treats her staff

The wildly influential Buffy gives us two women entering a loving relationship… except then Tara is killed off, Willow goes evil for a time, and Buffy comes under fire for Joss Whedon’s everything

The beloved and respectable headmaster of one of the most popular book series ever published is revealed to be gay… except it doesn’t count because it wasn’t in the text and now all of Harry Potter is cancelled because JKR is transphobic

Kurt is an unambiguously gay teen in a hugely popular TV series, acting as one of the first overt representations a generation has seen… except he’s way too stereotypical and Glee is a joke now

Orange is the New Black gives us a number of queer women, including one of our first trans characters… but isn’t it problematic that they’re all criminals?

Brooklyn Nine-Nine hosts an out gay captain and gives us a bisexual coming out story that resonated with many, myself included… except now we’re supposed to hate all the characters on principle because they’re cops

Korra and Asami walk off into the spiritual sunset together… but they never kiss or anything, so that doesn’t count either

Steven Universe gives us a queer relationship and a wedding… but it’s an issue that this is just a kid’s show and, really, does it count when the rep is embodied by space rocks whose entire species only creates a single gender? Feels like a cop-out

Same with Good Omens. Yeah, Crowley and Aziraphale clearly love each other… but you never see them kiss or declare their intentions. It’s great ace rep though! Unless you want to level the criticism that asexual characters are always nonhuman

A character intended to be a minor guest becomes a show staple and eventually declares his love for one of the two main characters… except then Castiel immediately dies, Dean doesn’t respond, and they never meet on screen again

I finished Queen’s Gambit the other day and the main character had a one-night stand with a woman! … but everyone is talking about how bisexuality is used to represent her lowest point, so that’s bad too

I could go on for literal pages. Some of these arguments I agree with (Dumbledore), others I’ve pushed back against quite strongly (Crowley and Aziraphale), but all of them are valid criticisms depending on what part of the queer community you’re in and what your expectations are. My point here is that it’s all “bad rep.” I mean that seriously. If anyone reading this is scrambling for the comment section to say why [insert media title here] is actually fantastic rep, I guarantee that someone disagrees. Or if they don’t, give it some time. Just wait until the characterization becomes offensively outdated, or another part of the story ruins the relationship, or it comes out that the author did something truly horrific, or the terminology changes and it’s labeled as “problematic” now… just wait. At some point, any rep we feel is good rep now will be criticized, cancelled, and dragged through the mud. The rep that I personally haven’t seen much push-back against—like the beloved Captain Jack Harkness in Doctor Who, or Schitts Creek that just won a ton of awards—is wrapped up in the criticism, “So it’s all just about able-bodied, cis, (mostly) white dudes, huh? :/”  Even the argument that queer characters need to be written by queer authors doesn’t hold up. I absolutely adored Sense8. “Wow, a gay main character in a loving relationship with another gay man, both of whom enter a loving poly relationship with a woman, another lesbian trans main character who marries the love of her life on screen, an entire cast arguably queer due to them sharing orgy scenes centered around the emotional intimacy they share, everyone survives, and this was written by two trans women! Great, right?” Well, not according to the wealth of opinions explaining how Sense8 is horrible rep, actually. Every piece of rep we’ve got is either currently flawed or will become flawed in the future.

So what do we do with that?

That’s where my “I’d rather have bad rep than no rep at all” comes in. For me, that’s not waving the white flag. That’s not an oath that I won’t expect better rep in the future (I do) or that I won’t criticize the rep we get (BOY DO I), but rather just an acknowledgement of reality. The vast majority—if not the entirety—of rep is “bad rep” in one way or another, but I’d still rather have it than nothing at all. Because I’ve lived just long enough and studied media just enough to know what nothing looked like. It was watching all queer characters meet untimely deaths. Before that it was watching queer characters be derided and treated as jokes. Before that it was nothing but coding, where queer characters didn’t exist except in our own headcanons and interpretations. Obviously “bad rep” covers a very large range of issues and “They haven’t even confirmed this relationship yet” is a bigger issue than “This queer character embodies one or two, mild stereotypes,” but ultimately I’d take any of it over nothing at all. And enjoying what we’ve currently got doesn’t mean I’m willing to settle for it indefinitely.

To use an iffy analogy, imagine there’s a factory. This factory makes plates. So. Many. Plates. Big plates, small plates, plain plates, decorative plates, plates for every possible occasion in your life—and everyone with a steak for dinner is pleased as punch. You though? You’ve got soup. You need a bowl. Your entire life you’ve been struggling to eat your soup off a plate (it doesn’t work) and listening to friends and family claim that the plate with a slightly raised edge could be a bowl if you squint (it’s not). To say it’s frustrating is an understatement.

But then, one day, the factory starts producing bowls too. Hurray! Except as soon as you get your hands on one, you’re told you really shouldn’t be using it, let alone praising it. Look at the state of that bowl! It’s cracked right down the middle, ugly as hell, shoddily made all around… you’re not really going to settle for that, are you? And no, you obviously still want the factory to produce better bowls, but at the same time, this is a bowl. You’ve never gotten one before and you can finally enjoy your meal, even if the soup leaks at times. Sometimes a lot. But you’re still feeling better about your meal than you ever have before. And what you then begin to realize is that lots of the plates are a mess too. They also have cracks, they’re also ugly, many are also shoddily made. The difference is that the factory is producing so many plates at such a rapid pace that every steak eater is able to get by. One plate breaks completely? You’ve got a thousand fallbacks. Don’t like the look of this one? A thousand other options. You disagree about what “shoddily made” means? Luckily there are enough plates that everyone can find what they prefer! But the bowls… there’s only a few. Some are really expensive. Others are only available for a limited time before they suddenly disappear. Your bowl breaks and you have to wait months, years sometimes, to get another one. You’re constantly told to go buy this one obscure bowl no one else has heard about and yeah, you like it... but you’d also like to buy one of the bowls everyone is already enjoying. You find yourself looking at the plates and thinking, “I’d like that. I’d like to have so many options that the flaws, while still a problem, are much more bearable.” You’re still going to demand that the factory get its shit together, you’re still going to (rightly) complain about the awful quality of your bowl… but it’s still nice to have a bowl, period. There are still things you like about it, even if it’s a mess: the color, the size, the beauty of the shape of it. Its potential. You’re still pleased you have something to enjoy and that helps serve the need you’re looking to fill, even if that something is imperfect.

That’s “bad rep is better than no rep.” To bring this very long response back to Blake/Yang, I don’t think their problems negate their benefits. Is their relationship currently non-canonical and filled with a number of writing issues everyone has a right to be angry about? Yup. I express that anger a great deal. Are they still half of a team on a very popular show that is (presumably) set to be canonized as queer? Yup. I’d much rather live in a world where big shows like RWBY try to include queer rep and fail in a multitude of ways—with the expectation and hope that they’ll continue to improve—rather than in a world where authors a) don’t care or b) are too scared to try. Because that’s where a “good rep or no rep” stance leads. The danger isn’t homophobes because they’re, well, homophobes. It doesn’t matter if the rep is good or not, they hate it on principle. But if queer authors writing for other queer identities, or allies writing queer identities, or even queer authors writing their own experiences (like in Sense8) continually come under non-stop fire for their attempts… there’s a good chance that many people won’t ever try. We’re already seeing that here on tumblr with young authors admitting that they wouldn’t touch [insert topic here] with a ten-foot pole because just look at what happens when you get it wrong. And authors will get things wrong because authors are fallible people forever unlearning their own ignorance. So though it might sound strange coming from a blog that has turned into such a RWBY critical space, I am glad that RWBY’s queer rep exists, despite all the frustrations that I share about it. I think a RWBY with various types of “bad” queer rep is better than a RWBY with no queer rep at all, particularly when “bad” or “good” is so intensely subjective. There’s a middle ground between passively accepting whatever we’re given, and tearing into rep with such ferocity that we end up rejecting it all. There’s a space where we can be critical of rep and embrace the parts that work for us, simultaneously.

I hope and expect the het rep will get better too, but… that’s never going to happen instantly. To quote RWBY, there’s no magic wand we can wave to fix all our problems. Rather, it will take slow, plodding, meandering, lifetimes’ worth of work to see that change occur and I personally don’t want to spend the one life I have waiting for that perfect rep to show up. Because it’s unlikely that it will. While we work, I’d rather find the good in what rep we’ve already got.  

#rwby #queer #mymetas #Anonymous

[kyorinrinswritingdump]

I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion or not, but I do like that the Todoroki family is willing to work through all their troubles.

I had an abusive boyfriend so it might all be the same as an abusive parent (however I've seen his own abusive parents and broken family), but even after how much I hated him for all that he did, I still wanted him to realize all he did was wrong and that he loved me.

It's completely messed up what happened to Rei and I honestly sympathize with her, but I really respect her and her family's decision to work with Endeavor to bring their wayward son back from the dark.

Everyone likes to hate Endeavor for all the abuse, and I really hated him, but not a lot of abusers try to fix their mistakes, and though the damage is already done (and I admit that he really only changed once he became #1), I do respect him for trying to change even though it might already be too late.

A lot of media portray abusers as just that, evil, but mha really does a good job of portraying a real-life abuser, imo. Unless the abuser is a psychopath or has serious problems, some (Not all) abusers do feel some kind of guilt and do try (though fail) to fix their mistakes.

My ex has finally realized all the wrong he did and is trying to fix himself, and though there are hiccups, there's a big improvement from before. Now I know "he was immature" or other excuses don't ever excuse abusive behavior, but sometimes I really see my ex as just that. He was too immature, or he has really stupid trust issues, or his parents really didn't do anything to raise except harp about money or the other parent, or other stuff.

Though I'm not blind to maybe my ex trying to fix things may be a trick, I know a lot of abusive people, and honestly I give props to anyone who tries to fix their mistake or tries to stop being abusive.

I want to add that Endeavor isn't some heartless abuser, even in the past as is shown when he actually just wants Dabi/Toya to stop training because the quirk was burning him. Sometimes I wondered if Endeavor saw it as his own quirk burning his son as the fire quirk was inherited from Endeavor, and this added to Endeavor's stress at the time... (stress is no excuse for abusive behavior!) Both parents admitted they had no idea how to talk to Toya, but it's a very clear mistake that even non-abusers make. Some people just don't know how to connect to others emotionally ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Problem was that Endeavor was physically abusive to his wife and I think the kids too. I hate him for this too, but people don't hate on Jackie Chan for the same thing? (Jackie Chan hit his wife and kid, always let it shown publicly and has stated multiple times that he's disappointed with his son, but because he's some movie star and does a bunch of charity, people just turn a blind eye to this? As an Asian-American, I looked up to JC as a kid but when he admitted in his autobiography he was abusive, I honestly hated that part about him. Also Jackie had cheated on his wife multiple times but everyone seems to forget this too like wtf) I don't get how a lot of people can forgive JC when they just hate on Endeavor for the same thing.

Endeavor and a lot of other heroes go through life-threatening stuff and honestly very traumatizing stuff that could make them have PTSD, and I think his abusiveness is also one of the flaws of the hero system just focusing on the heroic stuff and not on the mental health of their heroes. This isn't an excuse for Endeavor, but the hero system also needs a therapy system too! Like come on! You can't expect me to believe every single hero doesn't have some kind of PTSD...

Also, I've been seeing some posts or threads that bash on the Todoroki family for forgiving Endeavor. I respect all your opinions, and I do understand why people hate the "forgive your abuser" trope but please don't throw victims who forgive their abusers under a bus. I understand that every person's experience is different, but please don't hate on others. Some move on by forgiving while others move on by holding on to the hate, but please, let's not put any hate on how victims deal with their trauma. People deal with things differently from others and heal differently too! Even if you can't understand why people choose to forgive their abusers, please don't call them an idiot or anything else demeaning! The Todoroki family may be fictional, but honestly the way people see and wish Rei to be is the way a lot of people wish real abuse victims to be as well and a lot of people really don't realize they demean victims and are so a part of a vicious hate cycle that victims just want out of.

#rei todoroki #enji todoroki #todoroki #mha #don't hate on abuse victims #people deserve second chances #i really hated endeavor #jackie chan did practically the same as endeavor and no one hates him i dont get it

[facepalming-since-chernobyl]

I keep seeing smelties claim that divorce isn’t a bad thing, and I agree! Sometimes divorce is the only answer, sometimes divorce is the only way for one or both people to find happiness again, sometimes divorce is absolutely necessary and absolutely the right call. I don’t think anyone is necessarily disagreeing with them on that general point.

The thing is, smelties are specifically wishing divorce upon a couple for no reason other than they hate the husband, believe all blind items and rumors (while spreading some themselves), and constantly create headcanons to fit their narratives (the narrative being that Chris is a cheating, unsupportive, selfish misogynist.) None of us truly know what is going on in Chris and Melissa’s lives, all we have is what they are willing to show us… and everything they show us points to a happy, normal relationship. If they get divorced soon and it’s all PR I’ll eat my words. I’ll tell them they were right. But in the meantime, we have no f*cking clue what’s going on so why speculate?

The problem here isn’t that we think divorce is always bad. It’s that we think constantly obsessing over Melwood’s relationship status and trying to manifest them into getting divorced is bad. And it’s disrespectful to the woman they claim to adore so much. And it’s INVASIVE AS HELL. I am baffled by these people who have developed such a strong parasocial feud with Chris that almost their entire Twitter feed is dedicated to talking sh!t about him. Cause that’s what it is - their hatred of him is a parasocial relationship. A toxic one. Based entirely off the media available for us to consume, interviews, clips… not based out of direct, personal experience. Y’all, besides his family and friends, Mel is the only one who can actually speak on who Chris is as a person. Why can’t you just believe her? Why reduce everything she says to PR?

I hate that her very important conversation about DV is getting wrapped up in the never ending “Chris Wood is terrible” narrative. We wouldn’t be having this debate if y’all just respected the words coming out of the woman’s mouth. You don’t have to like him, but please stop acting like you know him better than Melissa does. Just trust that she knows what she’s doing. If they are separated, I’ll trust that they did it for the best. I’ll respect it.

Lastly - some people really need to hear this - Melissa and Chris are people. They’re not characters. They’re not your friends or your enemies. They’re just two people with jobs and lives and friends and problems just like anyone else. They’re flawed, multilayered, dynamic individuals. To the fans: Please stop putting them on a pedestal of perfection. To the haters: You don’t know them. Stop acting like you do. Look inward and try to figure out why you’re so invested in two random strangers getting divorced.

Of course sometimes divorces are good. Like, hello, Mel left an abusive piece of shit after all.

I will just add to your point that they started to hate him, because of a fictional character he played aka doing his job. What brings it to another level of bullshit.

They treat them BOTH like fictional characters, and it's sick.

But yes, everything you said

#smelties #anons

[a-student-out-of-time]

There's a good and a bad way to subvert expectations. Unfortunately what's been happening a lot lately is that many works go for twists for the sake of being twists, the Star Wars Sequels being a prime example of this. Or the later sessions of Game of Thrones. There is a fine balance between being able to surprise your audience and not being extremely predictable.

//I’ve absorbed more complaints and feelings from both those series through pop-culture osmosis than I have from watching them. I’m more of a casual observer, but I do have some feelings on both these points (which I will put under here if you’re interested.)

//tl;dr version: I think we should unbiasedly judge media on its own merits and look over what works internally within the story and what doesn’t, be willing to make our own judgements rather than jump on bandwagons and tell people what they should or shouldn’t like, and not treat opinions as straight facts.

//And also that I’m honestly tired of hearing about the sequels and GoT ^^;

//I disagree with a lot of people on the Star Wars sequels (aside from 9, fuck 9), but I’d rather not start a debate about it nor their quality overall. Only that I think people really overreacted to them  and many others jumped on the hate bandwagon when emotions were running high.

//Frankly, many of the criticisms I saw about the films felt either wildly inconsistent about what they’re upset about or what they wanted it to be (7 was criticized for being too much like old Star Wars, 8 for not being enough like old Star Wars) and others felt like they came from bad faith and I can’t take them seriously.

//And yes, the last season of Game of Thrones is trash and wrecked everyone’s storylines for the sake of being shocking, but let’s also be real: GoT was never going to have a happy ending if it wanted to stick to its “realism.” Whoever got on the Iron Throne was inevitably going to have to purge all opposition to consolidate power. That’s just how real revolutions and coups work.

//To be clear, Daenerys’ turn to evil murderousness was stupidly executed, but it wasn’t necessarily unprecedented. What I frankly dislike about fantasy in general is its tendency toward the Divine Right of Kings. That only certain bloodlines have the right to rule and you just need to put the “rightful heir” on the throne. In other words, giving absolute power to a magically omnibenevolent person will fix everything. I may be an optimistic humanist, but I know that simply doesn’t happen.

//The entire point of GoT is that DRoK is stupid and royalty in general really kinda sucks. If you go back, you see most of the lords we follow, including “good king” Eddard Stark, are either totally indifferent to the masses or are completely sadistic and torture them for funsies since the legal system doesn’t protect peasants.

//The Starks are no better than the Lannisters simply by virtue of being overall “nicer” than them. Both sides start wars that get thousands of people killed. Also, everybody loved John Snow, but he also fucking hanged a kid and I’ve never heard anyone bring that up since.

//Most importantly, Daenerys was a likable character with a sympathetic backstory, but even before the last season, she was fully embracing being a Targaryen by blood and was openly murdering people who got in her way while she was conquering territory after territory.

//Yes, a lot of the people she killed were slaveholders, but let’s be real for a moment: not everyone who participates in an evil system is evil themselves. It’s easy for us as the audience to judge them for participating in a slavocracy, but living in one comes with being told slavery is okay. That doesn’t make them evil by nature, just subject to the biases of their culture.

//Also, slavery is evil but conquering people is fine? And burning people to death for opposing you is acceptable since you’re going to be better and free everyone, or because you had a sympathetic backstory? These are the kinds of things that get villains criticized for, but is treated as a necessary evil at worst for the protagonists.

//This is protagonist-centered morality. The show is framing it in a way where you’re being drawn in to see it that way, but also telling you not to see blatant hypocrisies for what they really are. Daenerys was even called as mad as her father by Tyrion. It wasn’t well-executed, but it was going to happen regardless of how much anyone liked her.

//Violence for a good cause is still violence. If you’re going to burn people for disagreeing with you, then say that other people shouldn’t and should listen to others, that’s full-on hypocrisy. That goes for most of the characters in the show, frankly, and the message is executed well for most of it.

//That being said, don’t think this means I think the last season of GoT is good, that the Star Wars sequels are perfect, or that I hate all fantasy books ever. That’s not what I’m saying. I try to enjoy what’s good about them and point out their flaws regardless.

//What I’m saying is it’s important to, when you want to be critical of media, put your feelings and biases aside and judge the media you’re criticizing on its own merits. In my opinion, the claims that the sequels only did things to subvert expectations is unfounded. They were going their own direction, which was admittedly controversial and not what many people wanted, but just because you don’t want it to happen doesn’t mean it’s a bad twist

//Just like how a character isn’t a Mary Sue just because they’re too OP or you don’t like them. That’s not what that term means and hearing people use it like that irritates me. While I do have my complaints about characters, people use that term as if it’s a form of literary criticism that has more use than is necessary.

//If a character is OP, they’re OP. If a character is flat, they’re flat. If a character is poorly written, they’re poorly written. If a character is at the center of the universe and literally everything else exists just to amplify them and their role in things, then they’re likely a Mary Sue/Gary Stu. It’s not a label to slap on  a character you don’t like or to give a critique (or complaint) more weight.

//This is why I say DR3 Chiaki isn’t a Mary Sue, she’s just not a very well written character. All Mary Sues are poorly written characters, but not all poorly written characters are Mary Sues. She’s not terrible, but she’s not explored much and her only big roles are being the person who brings Class 77-B together and her death turns them to despair.

//While her death was tragic and brutal, we didn’t really get a good look at who she was as a person beyond just being nice and opening up to her friends. If they’d expanded on that a little more, maybe it would’ve been more effective, but the way she died felt...manipulative and shock baity in a lot of ways since it banked mostly on our familiarity with her despite it being a totally different person.

//DR3 honestly had a whole host of shocky and just plain gross scenes that I really don’t think needed to be there.

//But likewise, if a story has a plot twist that you don’t like, that doesn’t automatically make it purely shock bait or subverting expectations just for the sake of doing so. There’s a difference between “this character was evil all along and there were a lot of clues and we just didn’t want to believe it” and “this character was evil all along for reasons we’re dumping on you now.”

//Just so I don’t seem like a hypocrite, while I personally don’t like what happened with Mikan in chapter 3 of SDR2, it was an effective way of foreshadowing the truth of them being the remnants of despair. It was set up that every had lost their memories and this was a sign that getting them back wasn’t necessarily going to have a good outcome.

//And I’ll be real: I can’t take a lot of the complaints about the Sequels or GoT seriously because much of it carries overtones of racism, sexism and antisemitism. For those more into Star wars, I think you know what I mean already and that’s all I’ll say. As for GoT, I’ve seen reddit posts viscerally attacking the writers directly and even saying that we should’ve expected the ending to suck since it was “written by Jews.”

//Yeah, go figure I can’t read any of that. I know not all people who hated the show’s ending or the films are like that, but it’s impossible to deny that those attitudes are very real.

//In the end, if you want to be critical of media, the worst way to do that is to just watch a video of someone complaining about it for half an hour. Yes, those video essays can be fun, but the only way to be truly critical of media you enjoy is to examine it yourself and look closely at what’s in it and how it’s presented. That goes doubly for shows you like.

//I know not everyone will do that and all opinions are ultimately subjective, but don’t let someone else tell you that you should hate something or that something is bad just because they didn’t like how it ended. Watch or read it yourself and draw your own conclusions. Don’t just follow the crowd and also be respectful of people who don’t agree with you. You can learn a lot when you talk to someone with a different opinion.

#mod talks #mod rambles #a student out of time #just giving my thoughts #Anonymous #cw: racism #cw: sexism #cw: antisemitism

[diariesofaplutonian]

Pluto in the 5th house

Pluto in the 5th house natives are intensely devoted to their pastimes and their talents. Pleasure and fulfillment are their goals and sometimes addictions. They crave excitement, and maybe even danger. Works hard, plays hard. Can be impulsive or indulgent at times. Finds pleasure in being daring. What is most palatable to them is what hasn’t been done or expressed before, or if it has, doing it in a novel, groundbreaking way. Strong individuality at the core. Electrified by desire. Many hobbies. Drawn to art, literature, film, especially film noir, books. Needs to do something fun to feel alive. Likes giving a show or performance, dazzling or surprising people. Understands that sex, like life, like gender, like sexuality, like identity, can be a performance. Relishes in that. May find joy in fashion or trends or theater. Constantly searching for the perfect entertainment—emotionally enriching, fulfilling, pleasurable experiences. Creating and innovating and exploring themselves and the world, discovering their bodies, experimenting with ideas, and navigating their identities gives them purpose and a sense of drive. There is a deep need to self-define who they are. Like Pluto in the 11th or Pluto in aspect to Uranus natives, they have to innovate. Excel. Reimagine creative possibilities. These natives transform themselves and push the boundaries of something through their art or their bodies, through affirming their sexuality and owning their bodies and their uniqueness. Sex is not something to be ashamed of. Showing their bodies is not somebody to be ashamed of.

They are fiercely passionate people, as individuals, as lovers and friends, and they often chase after people who appear as a challenge to them. This excites and thrills them: the notion of going after and getting someone who is supposed to be unattainable for them or untouchable. However, if not careful, they can become entangled with romantic partners who are unsuitable for them. Pleasure often comes with pain, for these people. May have submissive or masochistic or dominant tendencies. May like to seduce rather than being the one seduced. May play hard-to-get. Dating may be fun to them, so much it becomes a game, a cat-and-mouse affair, though, make no mistake, they are not the mousy ones running away. They are the bold and in-your-face, confident ones doing the chase. They almost like something more when they can’t have it. Once they get it, they may get bored, for the fun’s gone—and the thrill of the chase. The key with these natives is to keep the attraction alive. There is a great need for these individuals to be recognized for their talents and their unique abilities. They feel very strongly about the work they create and produce and the energy they provide. Their contribution is always great. They can be as passionate about sex as a Pluto in the 8th person can be with death or a Pluto in the 12th person with the paranormal or mystical or absurd. May have to overcome their attitudes about themselves; self-limiting beliefs can become self-fulfilling prophecies. Obsessions are common and constant. May be obsessed with romantic interests, self-gain, prosperity, love, or their personal hobbies or recreational activities. They are most happy when they’re active and doing something. Invests a lot of effort and time into what they love, as well as makes sacrifices to keep doing what they love. May experience fatal attraction or encumber fatal accidents if they meet the wrong people. They are not necessarily the obsessive one in their relationship; with this placement comes the danger of partners or even random strangers from afar being obsessed with them, studying their movements, tracking them, and yearning to have them, wanting to conquer them or have sex with or harm them. Others tend to find natives with this placement irresistibly attractive, physically or sexually; they may find them drop-dead sexy, say they’d kill for them or die for them or claim they can’t live without them or either they will kill themselves if they can’t have them or if they can’t have them, no one can or will, etc. There’s a danger of these natives being abused or manipulated in intimate relationships, or experiencing dating scares or even intimate partner violence (IPV).

These natives can turn people on without trying. Others may misinterpret their casual actions as inviting or welcoming sexual undertones, and may be very suggestive. Some of these natives are naturally flirtatious, but just because they’re nice or flirty doesn’t mean they’re coming on to you or asking for some sort of sexual favor, or wanting it. These individuals can be taken advantage of sexually or be sexually harassed by people who sometimes don’t even recognize their actions fall under the umbrella of sex harassment. These natives can then feel violated or used or dehumanized. Sure, there are some that like role play in the bedroom and will willingly be your sex toy or plaything, but if so, on their terms only—they will vocalize this and make it clear to you. Don’t assume they are hypersexual beings just because you interpret them as being sexual or unafraid of and willing to embrace their sexuality. Even if they are, that’s their call and it’s not for you to judge. And you need to respect people’s boundaries and privacy and ask for consent. Also, it’s never okay to sexualize someone. That being said, these people may enjoy freaky sex or sexual games. And they might be flattered by others showing/demonstrating interest, even sexual, in them. But remember, they call the shots! Even when they’re choosing to take the backseat and let somebody else run the show, it’s by choice; it’s because they wanted to and only because they wanted to. These natives might alternate between being a top and a bottom, being dominant and submissive, or might have a favorite role. May be involved in a dangerous but thrilling, secret love affair, or may enjoy no-strings attached sexual arrangements and low-key, down-low, covert hookups. Like Pluto in the 8th, they might endure sexual trauma in their lifetime or be seen as a freak in the sheets. Very seductive natives. Their desire may increase when nobody knows who they’re seeing or dating/who they’re sleeping or hooking up with. These natives love to feel desirable. They need or crave partners and friends who make them feel good about themselves and celebrate them; they need to feel celebrated. Sometimes, there is a danger of having stalkers with this placement or needing to take out a restraining order, or several. I have observed this pattern several times within people I know, in fact, one person I know had to take out over 5 restraining orders in 2 years because random men became obsessed with her after seeing her social media posts and began sending creepy notes saying they were going to **** her and DM’ing her uncomfortable messages explicitly stating their intent. Some people with this placement may experience being followed or harassed or catcalled or propositioned, especially by people they don’t know. That is the dark side of Pluto in the 5th. Others I know with this placement have experienced pretty intense, toxic, all-or-nothing, soul-consuming affairs, the whole “when it’s good, it’s good and when it’s bad, it’s bad” shebang. Natives with this placement should really exercise caution and always be vigilant. I have also seen this placement commonly along the charts of sex workers or sex-positive individuals. You see a lot of body positivity among these natives as well. Natives with these placements, however, may be seen in a derogatory light—they may be slut-shamed and considered a “thot,” “skank,” “hussy,” or “harlot” or be considered ultra-femme or hypermasuline. Some might love being considered a sex symbol, but for others, it’s yet another way wherein they are ostracized or penalized for their sexual freedom, values, way of living, or sexual/bodily appetites and energies, and it can be a source of shame and trauma for them. They may be called out or exposed or even “cancelled” due to public outrage about how they choose to live, and can be accused of not being classy or being “low-class.” Their worth and bodies can be insulted, demeaned, and degraded. Their sexuality can be intensely scrutinized or criticized, especially if sex is their speciality.

This tendency can be amplified among natives who possess Pluto conjunct Lilith, as well as the public shaming or backlash. More on Pluto in the 5th house: These natives may be the typical tortured artist. Part of them likes to feel tormented, and other parts of them find peace or intense pleasure/satisfaction in playing that role. Role-playing of any kind tends to be a source of amusement or entertainment for them. They love to feel entertained and they are natural entertainers. They are intensely focused individuals and may shine in investigative work or artistic fields. They are very aware of their own flaws, and thus sympathize easily with others’ struggles and demons. Can get into trouble if they repress their desires. This placement needs to express what pleasures them in order to live happily. Creating something or beginning a project tends to make them feel alive. They feel most powerful when they feel the most beautiful and assured in their abilities. They’re most confident in themselves when they feel confident in their bodies. May not have issues flaunting their bodies because it belongs to them and they don’t see it as something to hide or cover from anyone else’s eyes as others may feel. They ooze confidence and fierceness. Taking ownership of who they are makes them feel strong. I always see this placement linked to gambling and other addictions but I don’t think this placement suffers more than anyone else does, in that regard. That being said, they can run into trouble if they go beyond dabbling in recreational substances or activities and turn it into a habit or vice instead of a mere hobby or distraction. So much of their selves are channeled into what they pay attention to and what they expend their energy in or use, including how they express or don’t express what intrigues and empowers or stifles/inhibits and disempowers them. It’s important for them to stay away from anything that makes them feel disembodied. They are more capable than they could ever dream of, far more than the world will ever know. If they have insecurities, they either nurse it and keep it a secret from the public, or disclose it as a way to get over it/overcome it, take their power back and ensure it can never be used against them. They’re very open about their desires. Very gifted, charming, and persuasive. Charismatic. Tend to be extroverted, people-oriented. They like to tease and please/pleasure (and sometimes toy/play with) people. Unbelievable capacity to self-transform. Many gifts and tricks. Very spontaneous people. Tremendous willpower. The power to act and determine, the power to seize at will. The power to create, the power to manifest. They can often speak what they want into existence, but they must be careful, for the opposite is true and they can easily speak what they most fear into reality.

#pluto #astrology #zodiac #pluto in the houses #5th house #pluto in the 5th house #houses #astro notes #astrology notes #astrology observations #my post #my words #n #mine #personal #text #how i feel #8th house #12th house

[the-final-sif]

Just read you recent think on Mitsuki, and while I agree with some things, you're forgetting a lot. Like how Mitsuki is so ready to trust UA cuz Aizawa seems to understand Katsuki. Or how, in the first ep flashback, Katsuki just got praise for his 'stupid awesome quirk' without deserving that praise. Or, you know, how Katsuki got to the point in middle school where he was telling Izuku to jump off a building? And the sports festival? Katsuki probably would have laughed if it hadn't been him.

I’m not forgetting any of that, they’re all things that have been taken into consideration and either aren’t important to the situation, or are part of what I’m talking about.

To break this down,

1)

I don’t care if she thinks that UA “understands” Katsuki, her child was kidnapped and held hostage for 2 days, and forced to fight for his life multiple times against several adult villains. The only thing that stopped the villians from murdering/torturing/turning Katsuki into a nomu/etc, was that they decided not to during that 2 day period. Even if she’s willing to forgive UA/Aizawa and understands that the situation was bad by all accounts, she could still show at least a little concern for her child’s physical and mental safety after he was kidnapped. The idea that she really believes a school “understanding” Katsuki and not praising him too much is more important then the fact he got kidnapped for and was held by villains for 2 days, speaks volumes on it’s own.

Also, it’s worth noting that Aizawa and UA do not understand Katsuki. They fail him multiple times, and call out in canon that they did so. Including; The Sports Festival, The kidnapping, & the aftermath of the kidnapping. Even going so far as to say that they neglected his mental health, in canon. They’ve messed up with him multiple times, and while it’s good that Aizawa doesn’t let him get away with bullshit, that doesn’t mean that they’ve done much to help him either.

2)

Yes, Katsuki got a lot of praise as a child. I could talk for ages about gifted child syndrome and how that built up unrealistic expectations on him such that he believes he’s not allowed to make mistakes and takes responsibility for way to much as a result. However, this isn’t something I forgot in my original post. In my original post, the point was that Mitsuki acts/talks about it in such a way that implies that just sort of happened, when in reality that is on her and Marasu for not parenting Katsuki correctly. If they had raised him better, taught him to be kinder to others, put him into anger management/therapy, taught him how to handle his emotions in a health way, etc, he would be a much different person. But they didn’t, yet she still talks about it like she had no hand in it.

Also, again, as I said in my original post, a big part of this is timing. If this was just a PTA meeting or something, I’d have a very different opinion on this entire thing. But that’s not what this is. This is a meeting right after he got kidnapped, at a point where he likely still very shaken from the experience, and where he’s likely being dealing with a lot of negative media attention online. If there is any point in his life where he needs support from his parents, this is that time. I don’t care if he’s been a shitty kid in his life, right after he just got kidnapped is a time when he needs love and support from his parents. Not them talking about how shitty he is to his teachers while he’s still trying to recover from that.

3)

That really has no baring on the conversation, at all. Was Katsuki telling Izuku to jump off a building unacceptable? Yes. However, neither Katsuki’s parents, nor Aizawa/All-Might have any idea that that event transpired. It’s called out in canon that what happened that day was unusual for Katsuki, that was not a normal interaction between him and Izuku. It was also something that happened when Katsuki was 14, ~2 ish years prior to the conversation I’m talking about.

Katsuki was an asshole, particularly to Izuku, when he was a kid. He still has a lot of those tendencies. That in no way negates the fact that after he was kidnapped is a wildly inappropriate time to start ragging on his flaws, alongside blaming him for getting kidnapped in the first place. Instead, that’s the sort of thing to be worked on through therapy and teaching over time. Or just, to be talked about at any other time besides right after he got kidnapped. 

Also, it might be worth reflecting on why he was an asshole, where he learned to behave that way, and why he considers his own words/actions acceptable. Because as it turns out, kids don’t develop those habits out of thin air.

4)

Here’s the thing, you can say that Katsuki would be laughing if it was anyone but him chained up at the sports festival, but I’d argue that he wouldn’t, because nobody else would ever be chained up at the sports festival. Neither the school, nor the author, could ever get away with that for any other student in class 1-A. If Shouto had refused to use his fire on Izuku, causing Izuku to win the fight and Izuku to follow him out of bounds in frustration and reject the first place medal, we all know damn well that he would’ve been allowed to walk away from it. Hell, we actually see Ojiro resigning after round 2 because he felt like he hadn’t earned his win, and he was allowed to do that without any issue. The only one who isn’t given the right to say no, and the only one who would ever be chained up to that podium is Katsuki.

And that comes down to the fact that because Katsuki refuses a lot of things, both on a character and reader level, people stop caring about whether or not he consents to things. They get used to forcing him to do things, and so that becomes normal and acceptable. He’s seen and portrayed as inheritable violent, uncontrollable, and “bad” which means they treat him in ways that would never be acceptable for other characters, and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy as he sees himself that way. This happens on every level, be it touch, the sports festival, izuku following him around, etc. Katsuki is basically never respected when he tries to say no to something unless he steadfastly enforces that boundary through physical force.

That’s why Aizawa calls out what happened at the sports festival as a failure on UA’s part. Because that’s what it was.

That’s also why we see Tomura with the photo of Katsuki at the sports festival, and why Tomura thought Katsuki would join him. Tomura understands what it’s like to be seen and treated as monstrous, to be seen and treated as fundamentally destructive and dangerous, and he assumed that Katsuki would want to join him to be free of that.

When Tomura has restraints taken off Katsuki when asking him to make his choice, it’s because he understands how Katsuki’s been treated, and he’s playing to that. He explicitly says that they need to treat Katsuki as an equal, and to prove that he means that, the restraints have to come off. He also calls out that he’s not worried about Katsuki fighting back, because he believes Katsuki is smarter then that (which was a miscalculation on his part, not because Katsuki isn’t smart enough to know not to fight back, but because he underestimated Katsuki’s convictions and personal morals).

What Tomura is doing there is a very significant and important demonstration. He’s showing Katsuki through actions, that he is willing to treat him like a human being, even if the heroes aren’t. Tomura is showing basic respect for Katsuki, however undermined by the kidnapping it may be, moreso then his teachers/the heroes did, by allowing him his freedom when making a choice. Perhaps even more important, he’s showing that he sees Katsuki as capable of restraining himself, and of being non-destructive. What he’s really offering Katsuki there is proof that he is willing to treat him better then the heroes did, and that’s why he believes Katsuki will join him.

Anyways, the long and the short of it is that no, I did not forget any of that when I was making my prior post. I did consider all of those things on some level, and they don’t change my opinion that how Mitsuki behaved after the kidnapping is indicative of her being a bad parent, and that were this another character or if the gender roles of the situation were reversed, then I feel strongly that this wouldn’t even be a debate in the fandom.

That being said, who knows what direction canon will takes this. I’m hopeful that the issue will be explored more thoroughly, but we may very well never see Mitsuki in canon again. I’m also not saying that anyone else has to agree with me. My own opinions are not universal truth, and we really have very little canon interactions with Mitsuki and know so little about Katsuki’s childhood in general that nearly anything is possible. I can definitely appreciate Good Parent Mitsuki headcanons, and I’ve read some great fics with those sorts of takes. But my opinion on the matter is the above.

#katsuki bakugou #mitsuki bakugou #masaru bakugou #bnha #mha #character analysis #sif speaks #sif answers #my headcanons #mysticwolfshadows

[snailymailybaby]

My Take on Snail Mail Etiquette

As anyone who follows this blog has picked up on, I am a very uninvolved blogger who infrequently makes large aesthetic queues and posts their own mail art before logging off and reappearing whenever I have more mail to post. I am going to borrow from the blogging style of my other blog and go ahead and write a bit of a thought piece. The inspiration from this is the most recent in a string of unfortunate experiences while penpaling but it’s not a unique situation or the only one I’m pulling from.

Penpaling Etiquette Penpaling is an extremely old practice and as such there is a certain decorum I believe many people associate with it. Of course, as it’s a practice that’s endured despite changes in technology that means it’s also a practice that’s adapted. Our use of Tumblr to find penpals is a great example of positive adaptations to an antiquated art. Where change can exist simultaneously with stagnation in any practice that naturally creates divisions among the practitioners. I, for one, consider myself to be part of what I consider the Old School way of penpaling and my thoughts on etiquette will be reflective to that style of penships. Though I think much of the etiquette I believe in is universal to all types of penpalers. 

Seeking Out Penships Penpaling is undeniably an intimate thing by the nature of it being centered around building a relationship with another person. Even with all the art on our envelopes, on our letters, or even sent with our letters; at the end of day we’re seeking out a connection with the person we’re writing to.  Keeping that in mind, there is a right way to seek out penships and there is a wrong way. For me, the right way is to approach the person you’re seeking to write the way you’d look to make a friend back in grade school: introduce yourself, include a little info about yourself, and politely ask if the person is accepting new penpals. I always feel that can be done in any order, but for me a red flag has always been people who without divulging anything about them or inquiring anything about me ask to be my penpal. Or worse yet, tell me they want to be my penpal. I read a certain entitlement into people who do not ask.  I’ll admit sometimes I’m imperfect in my responses to people looking, I’ll forget to give them my spiel because I’ve assumed they’ve read it somewhere and that’s why they’ve contacted me. People are imperfect and as the person seeking out new penpals or accepting new penpals it’s important to give as much grace as possible. So long as people are communicating with sincere interest little flaws in forgetting usual etiquette can and should be forgiven. Age Appropriate Penships In any practice that is welcoming to all ages it’s important to set up and maintain appropriate age boundaries. This is simple in penpaling, do not write to anyone under the age of 18 if you are a legal adult. If you are a minor, do not seek out or accept penpals over the age of 18. Minor to legal adult correspondence has an extreme imbalance in the power dynamic. Often adults who will seek out minors to write to are doing so because they’re seeking to manipulate the minor. Minors who are accepting of adult penpals are unwittingly engaging in penships that can have undue influence on them .  Even within the 18+ sticking to themselves age rule there can be age gaps between penpals that aren’t in the best interest of the younger party. An 18 year old writing to a 40 year old could be subjected to the same predatory penship as a 13 year old trying to write a 20 year old. There’s also a non-predatory reason why age gaps for adult penships don’t work. Quite simply, a 20 year old and a 25 year old are often at drastically different points in their life and that can make it hard to find common ground.  With the 17 and below age rule, again it’s imperfect and there can still be inappropriate age gaps. A 12 year old and a 17 year old shouldn’t be writing to one another for the same reasons that them hanging out in person or even dating would be problematic.  A good rule of thumb for minors: Keep it within a 2 year age gap.  A good rule of thumb for adults 18-22: Keep it within a 3 year age gap. A good rule of thumb for adults 23-30: Keep it within a 5 year age gap.  For adults these are what I’ve discovered to be “easy” to connect over age gaps, but obviously it’s up to the individual’s discretion as to what is a compatible.  Disclosing Mental Health I mention this only because I’ve come across it, so what’s the “right move” in disclosing mental health struggles you may have?  If it’s something that changes the way you socialize or requires you take extra precautions in who you socialize with/how you socialize (i.e. needing to share triggers) then it’s certainly worth including in your bio when reaching out to penpals.  Otherwise, just be wary of oversharing. If you have something you’d like to be upfront with because you feel it’s a deeply ingrained part of what makes you “you” it’s definitely fine to share that! Just remember that while the goal of penships is relationship building, from the start people are still strangers. Sharing the traumatic depths of your struggles extremely early in a penship can be overwhelming for your penpal. It also can cross into territory of unintentional emotional manipulation and cause a penpal who otherwise finds themselves incompatible to feel compelled to keep writing you because they fear for your well-being.  Remember, mental health is personal! That’s doesn’t mean you can’t talk about it (I talk to plenty of penpals about mental health!) but just remember it’s not something strangers have earned the right to know about you!  Respecting Boundaries When establishing a penship it’s important to create and respect boundaries. Some such boundaries that people have revolve around who they are comfortable writing too. Personally, I do not write to men.It’s a preference built off bad experiences with a few people who aren’t reflective of the whole--- but to look out for me I choose not write men. Should you seek out a penship and learn you fall into some demographic the person chooses not to write to, simply accept that respectfully and move on. In my situation, I have had people argue with me about my choice not to write them because they’re men. This will not endear the person to you and cause them to change their mind. People have reasons for restricting who them write to.  Aside from who people are willing to write to, another common boundary is in regards to communication outside of letters. Personally, as someone who belongs to the Old School style of penpaling I do not want to receive messages on social media outside of initial agreements to write one another. For me and others like me, much of the allure of penpaling comes from distance from my “real life”. Communicating solely through letters gives me material for my letters (I am a diary-style writer) and frankly gives me the space to connect with person’s true personality versus being biased by a social media presence. Be clear with the people you’re seeking a penship with whether or not you’re open to developing a friendship over social media as well or if you prefer not to.  Again, personally I prefer only receiving initial informational exchanges, updates on addresses, check-ins if it’s been a while since one of us has sent mail, or an occasional birthday/holiday message. For extremely longtime penpals I make exceptions.  Social media is another boundary. Unless someone invites you to add them on social media, please do not do this. Yes, you have the name of the person off their address and can technically “easily” discover their social media but that person is trusting in you to respect their privacy. If you want to share your social media that’s wonderful! Just recognize that your penpal may not want to and will not want their privacy invaded.  Patience Above all in penpaling you need to be patient.Postal services aren’t perfect whether it’s sending mail on the national or international level. Generally they’re reliable and predictable, but sometimes things go awry. Personally, nothing bothers me more than someone who sends daily or near daily messages inquiring after the arrival of their letter. While it generally can take 3-5 days for mail to travel in the US (where I am) this isn’t exact.  If you’re concerned your penpal hasn’t gotten your mail, it’s appropriate to ask them if it’s arrived and if it has not then ask that they update you when it has (assuming you’re concerned it’s lost). Do not message daily or multiple times in a week. If your penpal doesn’t get back to you within 2 weeks of your initial message, it’s fair game to message them once more in order to determine the likelihood the mail has been lost. Often people forget to update one another in the Old School community of penpals--- just by nature of being a little bit of penpaling Luddites. Another reason patience is absolutely necessary in this practice has to do with the rate of letter writing. Penpaling can be a time intensive process that take creative and emotional currency to partake in. As a result, many people do not write a response immediately upon receiving mail. Life and stress often get in the way of penaling. Or even when we have ample time, for those of us who are diary-style writers sometimes we feel there’s not enough going on with us to warrant writing a letter. If you feel you really cannot wait indefinitely for mail then that’s something that needs to be disclosed when you begin penships. There are people who can commit to consistent writing schedules and those that cannot.  Ultimately with penpaling, just remember that there’s another person who is sending and receiving mail. It’s not you and a robot. It’s living, breathing person who should be treated with the respect that they deserve.

#Penpaling #penpals #penpal community #snailmail #snail mail #snailmail communuity

[vampirewalterskinner]

The fact that no one talks about Monk makes me so, SO sad because this show is amazing and genius for so many reasons.

A long list of reasons why I adore this show so damn much.

The show is centered around a man (guy with the super curly hair) with OCD who also has a shit ton of phobias (heights, germs, death, naked people, milk—and those aren’t in order btw he has a list) and the writers treat it with so much respect. Yes, his condition is sometimes used for jokes, but it’s not used to make people with OCD or phobias a joke. Like, they’ll put Monk in a dangerous situation where he’s about to be killed (for instance, held up at gunpoint in a car dealership), but he can’t help himself and has to fix a flaw that’s bothering him (literally takes his time to fix a peeling sticker on a car and uses the butt of the villain’s gun to push out air bubbles). That shit is funny, but it in no way makes fun of people with OCD. Plus, this boy is a genius and I love him.

OTHER MAIN CHARACTERS DONT MAKE FUN OF HIM FOR HIS CONDITION. Yes, they get irritated, but they never berate him for his condition and usually let him fix what’s bothering him unless they’re in a serious situation. (One time, Monk accidentally stepped on an unraveled roll of bubble wrap and popped a few bubbles and he had to pop the rest. His friend Leland [blonde w/ a mustache] started to help him pop them and ordered two other officers to help—and they were at a crime scene lmao) They actually usually help him??? Monk has a phobia of people being naked and in one episode someone was killed on a nude beach. They tried so hard to keep him distracted and focused on the dead body so he wouldn’t notice 😂

There’s multiple instances where he’s shown to overcome or brave his phobias to save his friends when they’re in trouble.

They also normalize seeing a therapist who often encourages Monk to try new things and advises him on what’s healthy for him and what isn’t and NEVER berates him for his issues or for relapses. (I can really relate to when they speak of Monk’s depression. They handle that stuff really well.)

Contains the best romance story I have ever seen????? Which is a big deal for me to say because I HATE romance. Monk used to be on the police force but was kicked out on psychological discharge after his wife passed and his condition worsened. So, this is a bittersweet romance, obviously, because his wife has passed, but holy shit is he in love. The way he speaks of her is so beautiful. She was his life. Years keep passing and he still wears his wedding ring and he stills thinks of himself as being married. Like, oh my god you guys don’t understand how much I love his love for Trudy. This show makes me bawl my eyes out when Trudy is involved. He’s dedicated the rest of his life to find out who killed Trudy. Believe me, when Monk is angry and it’s about his wife, he’s not to be messed with.

The dynamic Monk has with his assistants (Sharona was season 1-half of 3. Natalie was half of 3-8) is so great. They get annoyed with him and put up with his cheap, stubborn ass but love the shit out of him. These two women by themselves are amazing, too. Sharona was a divorced, single mother raising her son Benjamin (who Monk stated many times he was proud of and loved him like he was his own son), and was nursing—which is how she met Monk, being hired by Leland to take care of him after Trudy died. Her past is a bit dicey, bringing up how she used to pose for dirty pictures among other things—and it’s all treated with respect. Not once is she mocked for doing what she had to so she could take care of her son. Natalie is also a single mother to Julie, and unlike Sharona she isn’t devorced, but the widow of a Navy pilot. Despite having the same essential role in the show they made their personalities and characteristics very different from one another, except they both complain about Monk being cheap and not paying them enough lmao.

Monk and his assistant(s) have a normal ass relationship without any romantic possibility and zero awareness of their sexes. Natalie hugs, cuddles, and kisses Monk (as often as she’s able to catched him off his guard) and it’s shown simply as a wonderful friendship. Monk protects her (and Sharona), buys her flowers, and fed her cake, but they’re still shown as friends. I adore this for so many reasons. Monk is still deathly in love with his wife. Of course he can get a crush or two (which he does) but lasting any longer than an episode would be odd and uncomfortable for Monk’s character. Not to mention they don’t fit each other’s tastes at all. And how often are male and female relationships presented in media without it being romantic or turning romantic? Chicks and dudes can be friends, guys, it’s not a big deal.

LELAND 👏🏻 AND 👏🏻 MONK’S 👏🏻 RELATIONSHIP 👏🏻 IS 👏🏻 MY 👏🏻 LIFE 👏🏻 Those two have a super long history. They’ve known each other since Monk graduated college and fuck their relationship just gets better and better. Leland knows more about Monk than anyone else, except for Trudy, naturally. He was Monk’s partner while on the force. He was there when Monk got the call about Trudy. Leland hired Sharona to help Monk get back on his feet. Leland has ON MULTIPLE ACCOUNTS threaten to resign (he’s the captain of the homicide division btw) if the higher ups tried to get rid of Monk or installed a highering freeze which would keep Monk from getting back on the force. Monk is always willing to help Leland. Monk was his best man and was PROUD AF. Monk also freaked tf out and rushed to help Leland when he was shot. Like, I could go on and on about their relationship. Leland is the ONLY person that gets away with touching Monk. Usually Monk flinches or eveades or wipes his hands when people touch him or shake his hand, but he doesn’t really do that with Leland. He’s really comfortable with him. Their friendship means so much to me.

They never pulled the “no homo” shit. Leland has told others and told Monk to his face many times that he loves him. No “as a friend” or making a joke out of him saying those words. They let his character be a normal fucking person who can tell his best friend he loves him. Randy (the other guy in the picture) tells both Monk and Leland that he loves them and still no jokes are made about it, even while Randy is usually comic relief.

This show is honestly just so damn good. I seriously cannot remember a single, bad episode. I highly recommend taking a look into Monk because it’s such a great story, and the finale will butcher you and you’ll end up saying “thank you” I promise.

#monk #monk usa #adrian monk #long post