#like I said I’m feeling mean .

[anteomnia]

just endlessly thinking about blue eye samurai.

thinking about how akemi, taigen, and mizu are if a coin had three sides or maybe just the two and mizu is the bridge of metal between them.

akemi being the ideal image for women, for the life they endure. she was simultaneously a princess, a prostitute, and a prisoner. her entire life was men making decisions for her, even the ones that had good intentions, and she believed her deepest desire was freedom. it still is, but she has been revealed to this heinous predicament of her gender, and she’s realized that to reach true freedom as a woman is to be the bird in the cage, to play nice and to earn the love of a man until he buys her a bigger cage and a bigger cage until he trusts her not to fly away. and it'll never be true freedom, but it will come with power. it'll come with the freedom of only one master rather than many.

taigen being the ideal image of a man. not all powerful, but not weak. he had a taste of what it'd be to succeed, and when it was taken from him, that easy success, he mistook it for his honor. he hunted mizu down to kill him, and instead he saved him. he saved him and saved him and he came closer to killing mizu when they were on the cliff's edge, and just when he gets to the point where he may actually fight mizu, he's tortured for information on him. he is tortured. Literally tortured within an inch of his life, enduring such a heinous violence, and he refuses to break. this man was a fight, was the torturer, and the victim of his torturing could've been his salvation from pain but he refused. mizu gave back taigen's honor but not by fighting him.

akemi wanted freedom and learned she would need power to have it.

taigen wanted power and learned that the violence that came with it was infinite and dishonorable.

and then there's mizu. mizu who wants revenge, wants acceptance. arguably the same things as them both. mizu wants acceptance, the freedom of living and the freedom to love and be loved. mizu wants revenge, which follows after violence and power, to get said acceptance. she thinks she must do both, have both, to live peacefully, and she's blatant about how she will not live without either.

she's given acceptance with the blacksmith, her "mother," her husband, but she sees the flecks of avoidance in it.

the blacksmith will not hear of her true gender. her "mother" will not acknowledge the crime of her birth. her husband can't find tolerance for the violence within her, the man of her.

and so she has to balance the woman and man of her, the ronin and the bride. taigen and akemi. and it's meeting mizu that they start to unravel their own identities.

mizu, who is both, and akemi and taigen who thought themselves one but turned out to be neither.

god.

#complexities #and comparisons #i think they are so much more than what i’ve said but just #the cinematography #and the metaphors #the underlying theme of birds #blue eye samurai #the poetry that you are #it feels like every scene was specifically crafted #like they did not make one undeliberate mark #like it all has meaning #i’m insane #mizu #taigen #akemi #mizu x akemi x taigen #the ronin and the bride

[lazylittledragon]

I feel like for Dorian and Astarion to become parents it would have to be an accident. Like, dorian finding it in the trash or some magical nonsense they find making one pop out of thin air. both of which I imagined seeing your funny comic XD (your art is precious by the way)

oh 100%, i was thinking today that they probably wouldn’t try and have one on purpose but maybe after several decades of therapy it wouldn’t be a nightmare if it happened unintentionally

anyway i pulled this out of somewhere and i hate it

#ramble #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #tavstarion #the idea of them accidentally conjuring a person somehow is very funny #i regret starting this as a joke because now i’m invested #although iirc neil newbon said he thinks he’d have children and i feel like i trust him #also before you say this is too mean. did you play the game

[eldritch-thrumming]

what, like it’s hard?, pt. one

“it’s just that… if i want to win a seat in congress by the time i’m thirty, i need to find someone who’s serious about my career. not some little elementary school teacher that cares more about his students than what he’s wearing on my campaign stops,” tommy tells steve, as they’re sitting in quite possibly the fanciest restaurant steve’s ever step foot in. the menu hadn’t even included any prices.

“but… i’m seriously in love with you.” steve feels like his whole world is falling apart. just last week he’d been so sure that tommy was getting ready to propose. he’d introduced steve to his family—they’d spent a week out on martha’s vineyard for a family reunion at which steve had met tommy’s great-grandmother, hands laden with rings as she’d winked when tommy had asked for a private conversation. steve had been so sure that conversation was about the family ring.

“and i love you too, baby, but look. you don’t want to have to leave your students for half the year to come on the campaign trail with me, do you?” tommy asks, not even really looking at steve. he continues to just eat his stupid dinner as if he’s not ripping steve’s heart out at this very moment.

and steve can’t help but think how silly this all is, because it’s not like tommy’s actually running for anything right now. steve doesn’t even teach yet, beyond the two days a week he does his student teaching. they’re only 22, they haven’t even graduated northwestern with their bachelors degrees! but tommy’s saying these things as if they’re all real, right now.

“and i’m off to harvard next fall. it’s not like we’ll stay together while i’m there and you’re still here, right?”

and the thing is, steve had actually thought he’d be going with tommy to boston. they’re both set to graduate in the spring, steve with his degree in education and tommy with a dual major in pre-law and political science. they hadn’t really ever talked about it, but they’d been together since the beginning of their sophomore year. so yes, steve had thought they’d still be together when tommy started at harvard law.

but now steve’s starting to feel extra stupid.

“so… what? you’re breaking up with me?” steve starts to feel his chest tightening, like he might cry. he can’t believe that two hours ago he thought he’d been getting ready for a proposal.

“don’t think of it as a breakup, stevie… think of it as a conscious uncoupling. we’re just moving in two different directions. i’ll be at harvard law next semester and you’ll be…” tommy gives him a look of slight disdain—steve has never seen tommy look at him like that. waitstaff? sure. his driver? absolutely. but it’s never been directed at steve before. “well, you’ll be teaching snot-nosed six year olds. we’re on different paths.”

and that’s what truly makes steve’s blood boil. his passion for teaching and education is one of his greatest qualities and he’d thought that had been part of the reason tommy loved him. he didn’t realize that tommy loved him in spite of that. he’s not gonna let some asshole like tommy montgomery hagan iii tell him he’s no good.

so he doesn’t respond. he just takes the linen napkin off his lap and throws it on his half-eaten steak dinner and marches out of the restaurant.

tommy doesn’t even follow him out.

~*~

“oh steve… i’m sorry,” robin says to him about an hour later while steve lays his head in her lap on their dingy couch.

“it’s not even that he broke up with me,” he explains through tears. “it’s that he basically said i was worthless. like i couldn’t do anything better than teaching. as if teaching isn’t even an admirable profession! where would he be without his teachers, huh? isn’t this all about going to stupid harvard? what does he think the professors there actually do? knit?”

“is this a bad time to tell you that i always kind of hated him?” robin says, maybe trying to get him to laugh. but it kind of surprises steve. he sits up, knocking her hands from where they’ve been carding through his hair in the process.

“you did?! no, you didn’t.” he searches robin’s face for a moment and then sighs. “why didn’t you say anything? you could’ve saved me a whole lot of wasted time.”

“babe, you were so gooey-eyed for that guy, nothing i said was gonna change that. a crowbar couldn’t have pried you away from him. but you have to know he was an asshole.” when steve stares at her blankly, she huffs. “steve, he used to offer to cover the whole tab when we went out. how often did he ever actually pay, even for his own drinks? he made poor jonathan cry the last time we were all here for game night, just because jonathan asked for clarification on the rules for pictionary.” steve is still staring at her. “he tried to stiff argyle by offering him a flight on his dad’s private jet instead of paying for his weed and we all know he doesn’t even have access to the jet. dude was cheap as fuck and not even nice about it.”

steve thinks about it. it was kind of true. tommy was a horrible tipper—steve usually laid down a couple of twenties when they went to dinner together when tommy wasn’t looking. he can remember more than a few times where the guy had sent their food back even though it had looked perfectly wonderful to steve. so… okay, maybe robin had a point.

steve tells her as much, then adds, “but he was always nice to me.”

robin snorts. “are you kidding? he’s stood you up so many times i can’t even remember all of them. remember that time he said his first impression of you was that you weren’t as hot as your pictures? who says that to the person they’re dating?”

steve groans and lays his head back down in her lap.

“okay, so maybe you have a point about that too. but i was gonna marry him, rob. what do i do now?” he knows he’s whining, but he feels just a little bit entitled to it right now.

“i don’t know, babe. get over it, i guess. welcome to the world of us singles. it sucks out here.” steve can hear the fondness in robin’s voice as she says it, but still. it does sting just a little.

they sit there in silence for a while, with robin running her hands through his hair again. it’s so soothing that he almost jumps out of his skin when she speaks again.

“hey, you know what would be super funny?” she’s laughing a little as she says it.

“what?” steve had been dozing just a little and his voice sounds muffled by fatigue.

“if you got into harvard and just showed up on the first day. imagine the look on his face.”

steve laughs at how ridiculous that sounds. like he could get into harvard. plus, he’s got teaching to think about. he doesn’t have a place yet, but he knows he’ll get one soon.

but as he sits there with robin’s hands stroking through his hair, he begins to daydream about how shocked tommy would be. about how he’d have no choice but to eat his words when steve proves himself by getting into one of the most competitive programs in the country. about how good it would feel to prove the bastard wrong.

“robin?” she hums in response. “you’re a goddamn genius.”

~*~

“dingus, are you sure you want to do this?”

the spring semester starts in three days. it’s their last semester at northwestern and there’s nothing but great big darkness on the horizon of steve’s future. he hasn’t slept in two days, busy studying, thick workbooks piled around around him at the kitchen table. he knows what he must look like, over-caffeinated with bruises under his eyes.

“i’m sure.” steve has his lsat exam in one week. “i have to take the exam this week. apps are due by march first.”

“no, steve, i don’t mean taking the test. i mean applying at all. it’s clearly more stress than it’s worth. do you even want to go to law school?” robin sounds concerned and normally steve would think it’s very sweet, but currently it does nothing but irritate him.

“i could,” he responds grumpily.

robin sighs. “i just mean… is this worth it?”

steve looks up then and sees her biting her lip, clearly worried about him. he puts his pencil down and stops the timer on his phone, giving her his full attention.

“this isn’t just about tommy.” robin gives him a skeptical look and it’s his turn to sigh. “it’s really not. maybe it started out that way, maybe it was just a stupid joke to get revenge on the asshole, but now it’s more than that. it’s proving that i can do something unexpected of me.” he swallows. “no one even believed i would get into college. i was just some stupid jock in high school who’d never amount to anything. and then i got in to northwestern and i was so shocked and happy. but i found out that my dad had actually pulled a bunch of strings. so i hadn’t gotten in on my own merits. he didn’t think i could. but now…” he runs a hand through his hair nervously. he’s never said any of this out loud before. “he’s not around now. there’s no one to help me. no safety net. if i can do this, it’ll prove something to me. something that maybe i don’t really believe yet.”

he expects robin to say something about external validation being a corrupting force and identity built on academic achievement being solely a losing game, but she doesn’t. instead, she sits down across the table from him and picks up a workbook.

“okay,” she says. “what do we have to do?”

~*~

“mail here?” steve calls out when he hears the front door close behind robin.

there’s a moment that feels like a pause. “yeah, it’s here.”

steve practically sprints from his bedroom to his living room. robin holds a single white envelope in her hand. steve all but snatches it from her.

his fingers move to rip it open, but then he hesitates. he thrusts it back towards robin. “i can’t,” he tells her. “you do it.”

her eyebrows shoot up. “you’re sure?” steve nods. he watches her rip the envelope open, bouncing on his feet. she scans the page and then she’s smiling.

steve grabs the paper from her. “oh my god?!” he yells. “oh my god!”

robin practically jumps into his arms. “179, baby! harvard law here we come.”

~*~

even after such a successful run at the lsats, there’s still the little matter of actually getting in to the school. steve’s only experience with the academic application process was with undergrad and it appears that applying for anything beyond a bachelors degree is an entirely different ball game. he’s so out of his depth that he’s forced to turn to grad school message boards for advice and tips of how to get in. it seems like everyone else is applying to a hundred different schools while steve’s only applying to one. he learns this is a terrible strategy for planning one’s future, but that doesn’t really matter to steve. for him, it’s harvard or nothing.

there are so many different parts of the application that it makes steve’s head spin. there’s the statement of purpose and the personal statement—the difference between those two requires robin’s careful and slow explanation about three separate times. then there’s the writing sample and the application and the recommendations and the transcripts and and and

but with robin’s help, steve completes each component and successfully sends his materials by the day of the deadline.

steve’s never been a patient person. no one on earth would accuse him of that, so even he can tell that he’s getting on robin’s nerves every day as he practically pounces on her when she returns from collecting the mail.

and then one day, finally, at the end of april, she comes through the front door and clutched in her hand is a big, thick white envelope emblazoned with the words ‘harvard law’ in bold, beautiful crimson red.

~*~

“last chance to back out,” robin says smiling as she swings herself up into the passengers seat of their rented u-haul.

“nah.” steve returns her smile as he slides his sunglasses from his hair onto his face. “let’s get out of this dump.”

and with that, they leave their first apartment behind, headed to the coast.

[wanted to finish this completely before posting but my benadryls kicking in and i have no self control. eventual steddie, promise! no tag list for this one, sorry!! it’s giving me anxiety on the other one lol absolutely not edited, if u see a typo no u don’t. i wrote this on my phone in a feverish frenzy. also, i originally invented someone for the role of warner but then i was like ‘IDIOT!!!!! why would u not choose tommy?????’ so if there’s a name in here that shouldn’t be, no there isn’t.]

#the not as hot as ur pictures thing is a real thing my ex said to me after we’d been together for like six months lol called me ugly 😭 #legally blonde au #steddie #steddie fic #steddie legally blonde au #this will EVENTUALLY be steddie if i write more lol #robin buckley #steve harrington #platonic stobin #steddie fanfic #steddie ficlet #i’m setting it up!!!!! #eddie will be a bartender not a law guy sorry!!!! lawyer!eddie just don’t feel right to me #steddie fanfiction #steddie blurb #guess what i watched tonight #well i also watched mean girls lol #here have this half finished thing #i wanted to finish it before posting but

[keferon]

Oh man….now I know how concept of spark twins works………..

Look at them. I love them

And..uh….well……fuck

——————

Also. Perceptor is so epic in this comic it’s . A.

#okaY #I’m reading last stand of the wreckers #aND WELL #Now I know what the hell happened with Grimlock #I mean what made him…like this… #and why is Fortress Maximus was going insane in the mtmte #jesus Christ…….. #Prowl goddamn #okay okay do you remember how in mtmte Fort Max said that autobots saved him after 3 fucking years?? WELL PLOT TWIST #Wreckers found him by accident. no one…i mean NO ONE was going to rescue him from that hell #what was I talking about ah yes spark twins #spark twins is such a cool concept because the are literally can feel each other’s well.everything! And kinda see through each other’s opti #*optics. #But you know when it’s not cool? When your twin is tortured #okay ummm haha so there is these two brothers..or like..soulmates? I don’t care I love them. But I have a VERY strong feeling #that at least one of them is going to die #………update……………………. #tfp lied to me. Death of a spark twin doesn’t look like what they were showing me………….. #another update #PROWL GODDAMN #ref #I lost my sleep thanks wreckers

[zytes]

something’s wrong?

#heheh what a name for a town. borger. brother that is a samdwich!! #I could prob talk about what this means to me but I don’t wanna #actually nvm I just thought of a funny way to describe the feeling: #you have two wolves inside of you. one HATES everything it sees soooo much. the other only sees beauty. you’re jaded. #or something like that #I’m trying to be conscious about only bending man-made structures and objects #unless it just looks extra cool to bend the natural stuff too #not rly a critical commentary. the basic premise is to show you how fucked up these little towns are; #while also communicating how they’re typically found in naturally beautiful places. #weird right? like finding ruins. it’s like these places settled and then worldly-priorities changed and everything fell apart #but you can tell - usually - that somewhere in the history of these small towns someone said: #‘what a fucking sweet view. let’s make camp’ #my art #glitch art #aesthetic #art #artwork #webcore #glitchcore #internetcore #abstract #artists on tumblr #photography #abstract art #distortioncore #glitch #weird art #americana #southern gothic #angels

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Randomly thinking about “tolerate it” (narrator voice: it was not random) and how under the cloak of fiction it is ostensibly inspired by works like “Rebecca” (which Taylor said she read during the 2020 lockdowns I believe?), with the line of “you’re so much older and wiser” indicating that the speaker is significantly younger and inexperienced compared to the person she’s speaking to and a pretty direct reference to the plot of the book.

But I saw something somewhere once that stuck with me about how it might not be referring to relative age between the characters but chronological age as in the passage of time in a relationship. And that made me think about how in a contemporary context, it might not necessarily be referencing an actual age gap between the two characters, but rather a sarcastic or cynical response to the man’s claims that he has matured (“you’re so much older and wiser [than you were before/than you were when we met/etc.]”), which then made me think about that line in relation to the woman. And that it could be taken like, “you act like you’ve matured so much in our time together and like you know everything, while I’m supposedly still stuck as the girl I was when we first met.”

Which then made me think of the “right where you left me” of it all and did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen time went on for everyone else she won’t know it and the bit in Miss Americana where she talks about how celebrities get frozen at the age at which they got famous, and how she’s had to play catch up in a lot of ways not just in her emotional growth but kind of in general. (Which also made me wonder if she’s ever been called out for immaturity/lack of curiosity/lack of education about things in her life…)

Which then made me think about the rest of the song, and @taylortruther’s posts yesterday about “seven” and “Daylight” and the way Taylor idealizes her youth yet contrasts it with an almost sinister reality in its wake, and the line, “I sit by the door like I’m just a kid,” because the discussion raised that her relationship let her recapture some of the childlike joy and wonder she’d lost. So this line is a double-edged sword: the speaker sits by the door with childlike hope that the person will come home and cherish her, but on the darker side, feels like the child dealing with the monsters she doesn’t have names for yet and the feelings of isolation she felt as she aged.

I’m not saying the song is necessarily autobiographical; like most of the songs on folkmore, it’s clearly a fictionalized story based on media she’d consumed and created, but we know a lot of the fictional songs were infused with her own feelings and experiences and… This idea swirling in my head picked up steam and now I kind of can’t stop thinking about it. Sorry but I’m a little obsessed now.

Like maybe it might start to shed light on why she identified so strongly with the novel in the first place…

#the third eye has been opened #😵‍���� #like tolerate it was always a difficult song #even when we learned it was based on Rebecca it obviously took on new meaning post-joever #and especially in light of ttpd #but the thought spiral i went on last night when i started thinking about all these connections #and the evermore of it all #I’m Charlie at the conspiracy board again #writing letters addressed to the fire #me thinking too hard about Taylor lyrics #evermore my beloved #tolerate it #i kinda gave myself the ick with all this 😵‍💫 #because of the ttpd of it all coming up #and i feel like i remember interviews where Taylor said joe was so well-read especially about like world events and politics and stuff #and supported her when she wanted to start speaking up (not getting into that) #but just based on ~vibes now I wonder if that was like a sore point too at some point #which again i have no proof of but just like… experience with pretentious millennial art bros lol #oh man oh man oh man #this feels like some sort of huge revelation at 1:00 am #when i started writing this lol #eta: when I queued this in the middle of the night i didn't see all the excellent discussion about the seven/folklore posts #so all of you who have been posting about them this morning consider yourselves tagged too!

[stuckinapril]

reminding myself on this busy morning that i also have dreams of taking piano lessons & singing lessons & also honing my writing skills & absorbing as many books as i used to when i was a kid & at the very least taking up cute tennis dates & dabbling into art & just becoming an artistic generalist. also reminding myself that there are pre-meds out there who managed to pursue something they’re passionate in (some are even professional athletes) & still excelled in medicine & if they can do it so can I

#Delusional? Maybe a little bit but this is what i wanna do w my life and I don’t wanna choose one or the other #If I drop science/medicine I feel empty #If I don’t have my creative outlets I feel empty #My existence is a symbiotic meeting of these two facets #It’s possible bc other ppl have done it but I just need to achieve godly levels of time budgeting and drive basically #I was raised on the belief that if you want something badly enough you’ll make it happen!! So that is what I’m going 2 do #I mean when I make it to residency the 80 hr work weeks probably won’t allow for much lol BUT #I don’t like the popular opinion that med school doesn’t allow time for anything else. #So many med students have said that u have plenty of time & that it will be a period of self discovery exploration etc #Idk we’ll see. But!! I intend on making this work. #p

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

me on a regular basis

#listen. it’s not that i don’t like the lifespan angst. bring on the lifespan angst. #it’s just that i don’t think the lifespan angst means they should break up #it just feels so superficial to me and i think they love each so deeply that they would end a relationship just bc is caleb getting older #*wouldn’t #that being said i like the idea of caleb trying to break up with essek and be all dramatic about it like “i’m sparing you the heartbreak” #or whatever #and then essek is just like. ‘no ❤️’ #critical role #shadowgast #eli.posts

[belleandkurtbastian]

I’ve said this elsewhere, but I think it does bear stating outright:

I absolutely agree with the reading of Tommy’s “MY attention?” as being surprise that he was after Tommy not Eddie…

But there IS another reading of that: that Tommy is surprised that BUCK was trying to get his attention, rather than TOMMY getting Buck’s attention. We don’t see as much of that, of course… but that would also make sense with how ready Tommy was to kiss him immediately after that.

#I wanna stress: I’m NOT saying that the ‘not Eddie?!’ reading is wrong #in fact I think it’s probably the more likely correct one #just that there are in fact readings that don’t require #Tommy to have clocked the Buddie situationship #… also just because Tommy had a feeling Buck was peacocking for Eddie #DOESN’T mean that he is sure this has no future #there is every chance that after Buck said this #Tommy took him AT HIS WORD that he was after Tommy not Eddie #remember: Tommy doesn’t have five seasons of background on this #he’s just been around a couple weeks and seen Buck being a mess #bucktommy #tommy kinard #evan buckley #buck buckley #9-1-1 #911 #9-1-1 abc #911 abc

[chirpsythismorning]

For the last 24 hrs I’ve been trying to find the real motel from that production assistant’s s4 bts pic…

#byler #stranger things #would you guys laugh if I said this is the most fun part of theorizing during hiatus to me #I feel like a private investigator #no leads yet #but I’m living my truth #the truth of delusion #what happens when I find the motel you ask? #probably nothing #but I’ll have my answer #and I’ll search through all the pictures on the website and imagine scenarios that could go down in a flashback #from from s4 but intended to be put in early s5 #related to whatever happened during that two day time jump… #technically the drive from Nevada to Hawkins would have been about 26 hrs #I did the math #which means we’ve got about 22 hrs of missing time give or take… #the implications of a motel stop for one night to rest are high… #especially if they thought they won against vecna at the time after the monologue….. #👀👀👀 #technically the monologue happened late at night? #so maybe that night they slept at a motel? #and then they left early the next morning? #drove all day and not and got back to Hawkins the following morning…?

[significant-ace-nnoyance]

“why’d they miss the solstice deadline that’s not in the books????” did you hear ares say that zeus is going to war with poseidon no matter what no matter if they make the arbitrary deadline or not because “i think zeus just feels that it’s time for a war” “and honestly i think he’s okay with that”. 

did you hear perseus jackson, for the first time, look this quest in the eye and say NO we WILL complete this quest, not because im being forced to, not just for my mom, but because i am the son of the sea god and this is the right thing to do. 

do you realize that percy powering up requires him truly accepting his place in this world and his POWER in this world and he can only take down ares in the next two episodes if he has this moment of choosing this quest choosing his father, choosing to fight against not just this inevitable war but the series-long one brewing underneath it. 

because what is percy jackson if not choosing to look the impossible, the established, the millennia long arbitrary rules and traditions in the eye and say NO. FUCK THAT. ima do my own thing 

#if they can’t stop this war after the deadline how can they stop The War that’s coming #they needed to feel helpless and powerless and realize how arbitrary and frustrating the gods rules are #and to stand up against that anyways #it’s giving percy telling ares ‘we’re gonna succeed in this quest and i’m getting pretty tired of you saying we can’t’ #or whatever he says #ares said he’d fail and percy said BET. #IDC IF ITS PAST THE DEADLINE WERE DOING THIS JUST TO SPITE THIS BITCH #jk we’re doing it to becaus it’s the right thing to do and just bc u feel powerless doenst mean you are #and to spite ares’s ideology and worldview #i love the show writers #i love being in suspense abt what’s gonna happen next just like new viewers #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo <3 #percy series #pjo

[puppydoggraham]

Thinking about how Will Graham views his anger as righteous which of course extends to Hannibal. A lot of his anger in s2 is over the fact that he finally trusted someone only for that person to betray him but it’s more than that. It’s more than just what Hannibal did to him. What he’s truly deeply angry about is that Hannibal knows his dark nature and not only knows it, but wants him to embrace the very nature he’s desperately trying to suppress.

He’s supposed to be the one that’s perceptive. He’s the one who is supposed to see it all while remaining unknown and unseen. And yet Hannibal recognizes what kind of person he has as soon as they meet. It’s not supposed to be that way. He hates that Hannibal is the one person he can’t hide from. Who will always see through the facade he puts on for others who buy into it. That’s why when Hannibal essentially tells him in s3 that he hasn’t changed, he’s fuming. If just Hannibal can believe he’s changed, maybe he himself can believe it too.

But he doesn’t. And deep down Will knows that’s just what it is too: a facade. Hating Hannibal is really just him hating himself at the end of the day. He takes a lot of his displaced anger out on him. He has these violent murder fantasies about Hannibal that symbolically can be read as him trying to kill off this part of himself. He can’t kill them off. Suppression only works for so long. The fantasies only grow stronger.

It’s only when he gives in at last during TWOTL. When he stops supressimg who he is. When he stops hating himself for it and overthinking about the act of violence. When he allows himself indulgence. This is when he experiences being at peace with himself possibly for the first time ever. At last, the internal battle that rages on inside him calms. The voices in his head go quiet. Even though this is brief, he knows that what he and Hannibal experienced on that cliff is a moment of peace in a lifetime of unrest. He doesn’t take it for granted, which is why he says what he does. When he stops fighting Hannibal, giving into the violence and also his touch as they embrace, it represents that he stops fighting with himself too. And isn’t that the most beautiful thing in the world?

#hannibal #nbc hannibal #will graham #hannigram #hannibal lecter #hannibal meta #you guys always get my Hannibal analysis #well it’s will hours baby #I’m feeling very will lately which means you get will analysis #I’m so will graham like genuinely you have no idea #I feel like everyone says they’re will bc he’s haha awkward autistic loner #and trust me I’m that too #but I’ve personally had so much of a battle with suppressing myself and shame and not letting myself have desire #especially over things not socially acceptable #and that resonates so hard with me #also the displaced anger #and a lot of my anger I would describe as righteous since it’s directed at those who have harmed me #okay maybe the person who said I write will well has a point #I also have a lot of self hate and don’t believe I’m able to be loved anyways #will graham I love you #literally typed this out like I would die if I didn’t get it out #also he denies affection too in addition to violence #or violence serves as a stand in for affection #(hence the line about speaking to him in a language he understands from chiyoh) #so on the cliff he accepts not only violence but affection #he accepts Hannibal’s love he stops running from it #the dual acceptance agh #so many layers #the way you can tell from how he holds onto Hannibal he’s just giving in completely #in that moment he was probably like what do I even do he’s not used to that

[imthursdaysyme]

Sleepover shenanigans

#drawing #steve harrington #stranger things #robin buckley #stobin #they were in her room arguing like old married couple #listen steve just doesn’t understand how she can’t do it bc he thinks she can do anything #he said what tf do you mean you don’t have abs and rob was like bestie I don’t work out they aren’t strong I’m a limo noodle #and he was like well girl get on that I don’t want you to die bc you didn’t keep your body healthy istg your worse than Henderson #and she was like HEY I do plenty of things such as ride my bike and he said ok then why are your thighs the size of my forearm #and he keeps yelling at her to use her core and she’s screaming at him that she’s trying #and he’s holding her leg #but we’ll rob flails and her heel whacked him in the eye so he feel back #hit the wall thought he was dead #dropped rob to the ground and shes cursing like an d man that had to get up from his chair #and she’s like why’d you drop me and he doesn’t respond so she looks over #and my man is out for the count with another black eye #she thinks she killed him and worries that after years of demogorgons and Russians the thing that kills Steve Harrington is #Robs sharp ass heel #she pushes him under the bed and covers him with blankets and then goes to sleep #except he wakes up at like 2am and she screams worse than when she saw a ud creature for the 1st time and whacks him back down and BAM #he is out again and now Robin is freaking out more bc omg she killed her platonic soulmate and he came back to life only for her to kill him #AGAIN #she wonders if she can be tried for double manslaughter on one man but how would they know? then rob realized she can’t testify bc #she’ll tell everything if she gets up on the stand and she won’t just be sentenced for life she’ll be sentence for TWO lives #but then she’s like omg I deserve two life sentences to honor Steve even though he wouldn’t be in jail she just assumes he goes with her #even her own prison sentence for his murder #the next time Steve wakes up he inches out and flips on her to tame her flailing limbs and she starts crying saying #I killed you twice but my love for you is so strong it brought you back a third time and steve is like you knocked me out shithead you didnt #murder me Jesus Christ and she’s like how do you k ow and he’s like omg how do I know

[autism-alley]

y’all headcanoning poseidon as purposefully sending medusa’s head back to sender knowing gabe would open it is like. entirely missing the point of sally jackson’s character and also SO fucked up if it was poseidon?? who used medusa’s head to kill an asshole man?? like!! what the fuck! not to mention sally jackson?? ms. sally jackson? who kills her abusive husband? who on multiple occasions rejected the help of the man who is both a god and her former lover bc she wants to build her life herself—? and who does it? “if my life is to mean anything, i have to live it myself.” those are sally jackson’s words. the abuse itself was already incredibly watered down in the show and that is upsetting. to have gabe accidentally kill himself because he’s a bumbling idiot waters down her agency against her abuse and is even more so upsetting. to have not just a man but a literal god kill her husband for her is so. do you not see how that’s even worse. and then add in that god being poseidon and the method of murder is medusa’s head? i don’t even have words to articulate it, just—

no matter how you cut it, narratively you only disrespect and degrade sally when gabe’s life is taken by any hand that isn’t hers, and having that hand be poseidon’s is just wild.

#WIIIIIILD TAKE #and i don’t even think some of y’all are hearing yourselves #sally jackson herself told percy he cannot kill her abuser for her #that her life only has value if it’s in her own hands #and that was said to her CHILD who Also suffered at the hands of gabe. #can you imagine how it looks disregarding that sentiment so a literal god can save her? #the god partly responsible to blame for medusa’s fate in the first place? #sometimes depicted as her rapist? #doesn’t look good! #as a disabled woman i am all for needing to be saved #wanting to be saved #not feeling shame in needing help #but sally jackson is not only Not one of those people #but someone who shaped so much of her identity around saving herself #how dare the show take it from her. #and for fans to rub salt in the wound? #i know y’all don’t mean it like that that’s why i’m not angry #but i want y’all to rly consider what you’re saying #pjo show crit #pjo show #pjo fandom #percy jackson #sally jackson #poseidon pjo #medusa pjo #ris raves #gabe ugliano

[honeyedlashton]

??????!!????!!!!?

#yeah okay goodnight #Ashton said he tells Luke every day he’s got the best voice ever?? #I mean I knew but jfc #I wake up for 5 minutes and I come back to chaos #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #lrh #afi #5sos #lashton #otp: i’m fond of you #only posting a screenshot cause I don’t feel like linking this shit I’m tired asf

[losersimonriley]

I know some of us like to pepper Gaelic endearments into our ghostsoap from time to time and I thought hey! Maybe I should finally share my little headcanon as to how Soap even came about knowing the language in the first place:

I like to think that his granny (who raised him and his siblings) was from the Inner Hebrides and grew up using it. She moved to the lowlands after marrying, became a Gaelic-medium teacher. Thus, Soap attended the school she taught at and had a Gaelic-medium education throughout primary. (Gme students are taught completely in Gaelic from p1-p3 with English being incorporated later.) While not continuing it in secondary, he still had a fluent adult at home keeping the language fresh in his mind. That’s. The bare bones of it anyway.

Anyway I wanted to share this because I’ve seen the occasional person say it’s ridiculous to suddenly see him speaking Gaelic in fics (which is a very fair point of course. few people are immersed in it, it remains a threatened language) but the thought of someone who wanted to include it in their work who then might not because of this is disheartening. Should they do the proper research beforehand, it is plausible when given the right ingredients.

It’s a language that should be celebrated, not discouraged, especially given the history. Having a character know it just really depends on the different factors you throw into their backstory. Even if the author doesn’t explain it, it should then be up to the reader to assume he’s not just pulling the language out of thin air. Idk, if call of duty fanfic of all things can expose people to Gàidhlig and garner interest in some to learn a bit of the language, I just. That is a good thing

#john soap mactavish #cod military propaganda but make it cod fanfic Gaelic propaganda #of course it depends on his family too like. if someone had him having grown up in an absusive household like ghost but put into a gme #that would give a bit of pause to the reader bc a arent who doesn’t care likely wouldn’t put their child into an education that requires #more work from them #that being said it’s possible he could’ve learned it from a fluent family member depending on how often he was around them #let us not forget that soap is extremely smart #I guess what I’m trying to say is if you feel like you have to have an explaination this is what I do #by no means am I the authority on Gaelic language I’m still a novice after years of off and on learning but I think exposure when done #correctly is really special and has the potential to interest readers who might’ve otherwise never even heard of the language #my headcanons #anon if youre out there…we’ll it’s not more of ghost’s family hcs but it’s something!