#like even sskk would do the job

[jalapenobee]

Wait where’s our skk narrated recap episode

#like imagine #arguing over how smth happened #the banter #the insults #oh my god see now I really want this #like even sskk would do the job #atsushi mainly talking and then akutagawa just. correcting him. and they get distracted and yeah #or like nikolai and sigma #kunikida and aya #tachihara and hirotsu #THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD PAIRS AND WE DIDNT GET ANY #*sigh* there better be one sometime #somebody write thissss #bungou stray dogs #sskk #shin soukoku #bsd

[nihilo-sensei]

The Infamous Chuuya-SSKK Car Ride

Two. Fucking. Hours.

Akutagawa and Atsushi have been arguing for two hours almost non-stop and there's still an hour to go in the trip. If you had asked Chuuya before he climbed into this four-wheeled prison what the most annoying thing on Earth was, he would've said without hesitation that it was dealing with Dazai. That was a more innocent time, a time before life had decided to punish him for his every felony, misdemeanor, and wasted gallon of milk. He wasn't sure if these apparently nuclear-powered bickering machines being confined to the backseat was better or worse for him. Probably better; at least one half of the invective wasn't being spewed directly into his left ear.

As much as he wanted to blame a member of the Armed Detective Agency for all of his misery, he was disappointed to say that it had been his subordinate and fellow mafioso who started this. Granted it hadn't taken much to get the weretiger to dive down to Akutagawa's level, but he was just trying to make conversation, asking if Chuuya listened to much music. Honestly, the gravity manipulator would've been delighted to spend a three-hour car ride talking about music, even with an ADA member. It was kind of nice that the kid had reached for some common ground between them. Akutagawa really hadn't needed to cut Chuuya off before he had a chance to answer by saying, "No one cares, weretiger." That one admittedly rude remark had sealed Chuuya's fate for the rest of the ride out to the countryside. Thanks, Aku.

"You better not get in my way when we get there, weretiger. The Port Mafia doesn't need Least Beneath the Moonlight."

"I guess I'll leave the job to Brash-ōmon, then. Get over yourself."

How are they still coming up with new insults? Chuuya hadn't even had the energy to tell them to shut the fuck up passed the 35-minute mark, about 25 minutes after his throat started to hurt from trying to match their combined volume. It was like they didn't even hear him. They were in their own little world together.

That was what he'd been warned about, though, wasn't it? Akutagawa and the tiger boy had… tension. He had heard about it from Dazai, but hadn't given it much thought. After all, why would he bother listening to anything that mummy's asshole says off the battlefield? He would happily throw Dazai off a building if he wasn't sure it would make that freak even happier than it would make Chuuya. Something about this train of thought makes Chuuya feel like a hypocrite for some reason. Where was he?

"At least I don't dip my bangs in Wite-Out!"

"Your impoverished ass could only afford one bang!"

Oh right, this thick fog of something making itself at home in Chuuya's backseat and inside his pounding skull. He had thought it was just a joke or an exaggeration, but this much passion for each other? Could all of that really just be simple hate? No, this doesn't really feel like hate. But if they don't hate each other why tell themselves that they do? That's so self-destructive. They should just confront their feelings like adults. Even if those feelings aren't romantic they could still find themselves good friends, they have a lot in common. At least they'd stop making their sexual tension or whatever everyone else's problem.

Why does Chuuya feel like a hypocrite again?

—

Chuuya stares into the rear-view mirror. The new Double Black had practically passed out five minutes into the drive to Yokohama. Not surprising after the mission had turned out to be far more complicated then they had anticipated. He wasn't complaining, he really couldn't deal with another three hours of angry sound waves bouncing around an enclosed space. Truthfully, they'd earned the rest. Even when the situation was going to shit they'd worked well together. Atsushi kept Akutagawa's mind on the civilians while Akutagawa's support kept Atsushi calm and focused. Chuuya sees now why Dazai put them together, not that Chuuya would ever openly tell the man he was right.

So he'd let the pair sleep, only debating whether he should wake them up after the blessedly silent car had crossed the Yokohama city limit. He had glanced into the mirror and caught sight of something that made him suddenly redirect as much attention as he safely could to it. The Sun had set halfway through the drive so he had had to wait for the car to pass the next street light to get a good look at it, and sure enough he saw exactly what he thought he had. At some point in the drive Atsushi and Akutagawa had leaned into each other while they slept. Atsushi's head was now resting on Akutagawa's shoulder while the mafioso's head rested on top of the weretiger's. Chuuya smiled. Definitely not hate.

As the car nears the ADA office, where Atsushi was to be dropped off, Chuuya pulls into a gas station with a new mission in mind. After he puts the car in park he takes out his phone and hopes that fatigue keeps the pair asleep and unaware while he does what needs to be done. He gambles on using the flash and wins a nice, clear picture that's going to absolutely make his fucking day the next time Akutagawa decides to make him sit through another "that goddamn foolish weretiger" rant. But was it really fair to make just Akutagawa suffer when Atsushi was about as responsible for Chuuya's three-hour ordeal earlier? No. And isn't the ADA all about that justice shit?

Chuuya opens his text thread with Dazai, taps his thumbs to the screen a few times, and hands down Atsushi's sentence with the push of 'Send'. He only has to wait a few seconds before the weretiger's irritating superior responds.

Mackerel (21:04): Oh my god, thank you so much for this! How useful my dog is becoming!

You (21:04): I seriously can't do this with you right now, Dazai. Those little bastards almost wiped me out on the way to the mission. They argued the entire time. I'm fucking tired.

Mackerel (21:05): Impressive, isn't it?

"Impressive" was one way of putting it. "Never gonna happen again" was another.

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bungo gay dogs #bungou gay dogs #bungo stray twinks #bungou stray twinks #bsd fanfic #shin soukoku #sskk #nakajima atsushi #atsushi nakajima #bsd atsushi #akutagawa ryuunosuke #ryuunosuke akutagawa #bsd akutagawa #nakahara chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #bsd dazai #captain of the good ship shin soukoku dazai osamu #atsushi x akutagawa #akutagawa x atsushi #atsushi and akutagawa #akutagawa and atsushi #skk #soukoku #bsd sskk

[kyouka-supremacy]

Okay about Beast sskk; because I realized I've got a very definite picture of what the Beast post-canon is like that is only in my mind and I never actually put down, so here we go. Very needed content warning of sickeningly fluff and Beast sskk being disgustingly in love with each other, I suppose.

After Dazai killed himself, Atsushi is reasonably tormented, and can't sleep at night. Roaming across Yokohama late at night, he always ends up at Akutagawa's– instinctively, unconsciously, to an extent even unwillingly. He doesn't choose to, it's more about countless nights unable to sleep spent wandering with no destination and still always finding himself in front of Akutagawa's place for some reason. Akutagawa somehow always knowing when it's going to happen so that he can face him before Atsushi has time to hesitate and run away. How they don't really need words or explanations most of the time, how for Atsushi knowing that there's another person who understands is enough, and everything he needs. How before Atsushi realizes it (and thus keeping him from trying and prevent it), Akutagawa's house has become the only place where he can fall asleep.

That's how they start living together before even being together. They might not even have an actual “getting together” moment, you know? The development of their relationship is so natural and spontaneous, it was meant to end that way from the beginning. Besides, Beast sskk don't really need words between them, so... I suppose an actual confession, albeit nice, would be almost superfluous.

Soon enough they move together to a small apartment near the ada (I'm assuming Atsushi has still enough money saved from his old job). Against popular belief, with time it kind of crystallized in me the idea that Atsushi wouldn't join the ada? His life to that point has constantly been doused by violence and pain and death, he deserves a long break to cope with all the trauma; throwing him right back to another environment where he's constantly pushed to fight and use his ability would not do any good to his mental health; especially when he's got such a conflictual and hating relationship with Byakko, even worse than it is in canon. I wasn't kidding about the house husband thing. Beast Atsushi stays home and chills down and is safe and away from all major sources of stress and triggering environments. Slowly, with time, he goes out more often, gradually relearns what normality is supposed to be like, and bit by bit all his traumatic experiences get more distant, and the nightmares more rare. Akutagawa follows up with his ada job– obviously! There's a whole deal in the end about how important it is for him to keep doing his job and trying to be good. I do believe the ada is the right place for Akutagawa. He returns home to Atsushi who always welcomes him with warmth and joy, and they cuddle a lot.

But I also believe that there would be times when Atsushi is required to go back to action and fight– he's not a member of the ada and he doesn't work for them, but it's obvious that when the ada is in danger and Yokohama is facing serious threats, the guild and the rats and ultimately the doa, the times will call for his intervention. He usually comes to help or rescue Akutagawa, a trump card of sorts. And it's endearing, how Akutagawa is always the one, even among the ada, most contrary on getting Atsushi involved, how he wants to protect him and keep him away, how more than anything he wants him to be safe. As for Atsushi, I really like the concept of this man who retired from action, that spends most of his time at home or chatting with the seniors in the neighborhood, who joins the fight only when the situation is most desperate and reveals himself to be the most powerful and destructive beast to have ever walked on earth. He reluctantly fights, and together with Akutagawa they end up saving the day for everyone, because as Dazai himself said nothing can stop the both of them together.

On the other hand, when the world isn't ending Atsushi solves that very specific role of crime drama protagonist's husband who's very supportive of their partner and listens to them ramble at home about their cases. He often offers useful insights on how criminal organizations work.

Atsushi didn't replace his collar after it broke. They're barely visible under his turtleneck, but he has now wrapped bandages in its place: to hide his scars, to keep the memory of Dazai with him everywhere he goes, to remember what he's lost but also what he's gained.

Ah, and when it comes to the fight against Fukuchi, Atsushi is the one to die for Akutagawa, of course.

Headcanons that directly contradict something stated above but that I still like:

Sskk get together after six months– it's got an ironic taste to it, the timestamp their canon counterparts set to kill each other now being the time they declared their love to each other. It's so soon, but also is it really? They immediately clicked the moment they met each other, and they were always destined to be. At that point, there's no one in the world they need more than they need each other.

In case of Atsushi still wearing the collar for some time after the canon events: sskk had their first kiss when Atsushi took the collar off for the first time. Ever since Dazai died, Atsushi is haunted and unstable; he's throughout scared of taking off the collar, terrified by the idea of hurting someone unintentionally, now that Dazai can't be there to controll him (both through his ability and by the general power he used to have over Atsushi's psyche). Akutagawa sees how much Atsushi is physically hurting, and insists on him taking the collar off; they fight over it for months (verbally, for the most part, except for a couple of times when the fights become physical– but without abilities), before Akutagawa finally manages to convince Atsushi to take it off for a few hours. When they're alone, because after months of being persuaded, Atsushi can trust Akutagawa to be able to defend himself; and also something about “you would never hurt me”. Thing is, when Atsushi finally takes it off, he quickly spirals into a HUGE panic attack, not able to trust himself not to harm the people he cares about; and the only person around is Akutagawa, and he cares about him deeply. The tiger is taking over, and Akutagawa is panicking, and he's desperately looking for a way to quickly ground Atsushi so he just. Kisses him. Which effectively works in the way it immediately distracts Atsushi, as well as causes him to zone out for several minutes. Akutagawa immediately apologizes, and then panics again when Atsushi doesn't answer for a while. It's kinda cute. After that, Atsushi gradually learns to take his collar off more and more often; this time, he can really trust that, if Akutagawa is with him, everything is going to be okay.

#This might as well be the sappiest thing I've ever put down but like. idk did I make it go through that Beast sskk are meant to be #atsushi nakajima #ryūnosuke akutagawa #sskk #shin soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd beast #mine #15/08/23 #This is ridiculous I never realized how soft I made them until I actually wrote it down. #It's so silly when I'm also the first one ready to make canon sskk suffer #What can I say. They've suffered enough. #“The bandages are barely visible under his turtleneck” I mean that's for when he wears his turtleneck– #and not Akutagawa's striped shirt as he does at home. Which is an awful amount of times but nobody needs to know that. #I'd say this is self-indulgent but it's not like I'm doing it on purpose this is seriously what Beast sskk is like in my mind. #Nothing much I can do about it. That's the realistic Beast outcome for me. #If the author wants to prove me wrong by dropping Beast 2 they're more than welcome but untill then *this* is my canon #kbcu (Kyotag Beast Cinematic Universe)

[littencloud9]

WELL!! THAT EPISODE SURE WAS FUCKING SOMETHING HUH.

im actually gonna chew all my walls down i cant do this. heres my thoughts

- AYA AND BRAM??? THEY CONFIRMED THAT THE GIRL AYA RESEMBLES WAS HIS FUCKING DAUGHTER OHHHH IM SICK IM SO SICK. I CANT BELIEVE IT. I GENUINELY SOBBED WHEN I SAW THAT

- sigzai elevator scene you will always be famous… what was that… when dazai put his hand on his face… what WAS that

- dazai’s little 👍 when they were saved made me die a little inside it was not in fact 👍

- SSKK REUNION MUAHAHAHAHA i actually am gonna kms. aku looked terrifying. atsushi going ‘hey its me!’ like 😭 also i dont recall aku biting himself in the manga? but i honestly love that addition (if it is anime-only). because atsushi realises that aku would be fine even if he wasnt defending himself due to regeneration. AND YET HE HESITATED. AND DIDNT HIT HIM. and paid the price. im so sick of them. ‘we made a promise!’ YEAH 😭😭😭😭😭😭

- fyodor’s acting scene was top tier i may have giggled. BUT ALSO that scene when he asked sigma what year it was? he looked ADORABLE i was stunned

- skk……. Skk………….. chapter 109………

- they let dazai say bitch! i think thats funny

- CHUUYA WAKE UP OUR FATE WILL NOT END IN A PLACE LIKE THIS BECAUSE YOU AND I ARE DESTINED TO- 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. 😰😰 im so shaken that im using this many emojis. do you understand. do you understanabdnans

- the cameo of the three ada members bleeding out was not fun! i sobbed

- fuck fukuchi or whatever

- THEY ANIMATED UP TILL THE START OF 110???? IM SO TERRIFIED FOR THE LAST EPISODE LITERALLY WHATS IT GONNA BE??!;!:!:&: oh my god

lastly, the pov changes were so quick i was stressing out, but it does do a good job of showing how many things are happening at once and how FUCKED we are. i was panicking. i am going to die. sskk and skk and sigma my bbg on top. actually no aya and bram on top. i am UNSTABLE and id like to reiterate, what the FUCK

#this has been the biggest emotional rollercoaster yet #im not fucking okay man! #bsd #sigma #dazai osamu #koda aya #bram stoker #sigzai #nakajima atsushi #akutagawa ryuunosuke #shin soukoku #nakahara chuuya #soukoku

[wildflowerteas]

first half of our tsp ch15 reactions!!

i make such a big deal of sitting down to respond to these it's so. i have a fresh pot of tea ( Japanese sweet potato and chestnut with black sugar and some cookies, but that's beside the point ) and my hair is washed and my paper outlines are done and i can devote all my attention to giggling at my laptop screen like a freak. okay lets do this STARTING WITH SKK. and Orphydice. Because to love is to turn around. God . . . i really hope my insanity about dazai's suicidality in this fic shows. it's so complicated that it's got my brain going around in circles--at the start of the fic he's just burning through life and his job for mori, hoping that once everything is resolved and the people he loves are safe, he can kill himself as punishment for everything that he's done. but then he meets Chuuya, and suddenly he can feel good and useful for a reason and in a way that isn't so violent, and living for the sake of feeling that is enticing. but at the same time, he keeps pushing, slipping up, losing control, killing, and saying things that are almost incriminating because he wants Chuuya to know him and wants to see what he'll do when he does.

"falling for it just the way he's supposed to" (^_^)

TALS THESTJHGSA! THE TheTJSHJJA Yes they haven't said I Love You out loud yet because even though they're very clearly far gone, that would be too real for the both of them

Gun and No Badge . . . yeah. He was wearing his badge when he went home with Chuuya that first night. ALSO YEAH I realized as I was writing that this is the second New Year's kiss I've written??? how did we end up here . . .

sskk * explodes into red mist**

Woah picking up on the accent mention???? yes. Atsushi's gotten better at it, and at assimilating, but his first language is Japanese like Kouyou. The fact that you know nothing about TSP Atsushi is 100% intentional. even within the story, he's unknown to almost everyone. he's the golden boy at the precinct but there have been no mentions of his previous education, his time at the academy, or where he grew up ( beyond what he mentions himself in his POV ). The character that knows him best, and who he's revealed the most to is actually Mori if you can believe it. Most of the other characters are content to tell him things because of his open nature, and they don't even notice that the conversation is one-way until after it's over.

THE CROSSWORD. CRAZY. YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON TO NOTICE THAT. Yes...it's a gambling term. And the opposite is 'All on Black'

'fic author made for me' . . . (￣▽￣*)ゞ blushing and giggling and kicking my feet. WAIT WHYAM I GETTING CURSED?

that party image is exactly what it feels like when i see that I've been name-dropped in the discord gc.

i left the way they ended the night of new year's up to interpretation, because anything could have happened, really. they could have snuck off and left their dates behind to be in each other's company ( kouyou and yosano were bound to meet, anyway, considering Dazai's payment for her coming with him to the party was drinks at the Double Black -- which is coming up soon!! ). Or they could have gone back to the party, Dazai trying to shake off the feeling of having forgotten about something important, too caught up in the relief of having convinced Chuuya of his innocence. they really are unsalvageable, and were bound to end up like this regardless.

"you're an angel." was 100% intentional and you will be seeing it again because I'm insane

'I feel like the party was some fucked up fever dream' <- EXACTLY HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO FEEL. THATS WHY I STARTED THE NEXT SKK SCENE ON A CLASSIC ‘WAKING UP' MOMENT. OOHHH MY GOD THANK GOODNESS.

aha . .. ha..

anyway.

THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#ask

[ryuvnosuke]

Hii dropping by to say i really liked your fic!! (the setting hit just right for me aha, also sskk being soft.. and of courseee Atsushi would go to hell itself to bring Akutagawa back. of course🥺)

Would you spare some Ovidius lore? i got curious about him while reading! (hope this ask isn't too awkward)

hi! oh my god tysm, i'm so glad you liked it <3 of course when your rival dies saving your life the natural reaction is to try and risk that same life trying to bring him back. atsushi was so willing to die for akutagawa, too, not out of obligation but because he genuinely wanted him to live.....

i haven't wrote down anything abt my guy ovidius, so i'll try to put my thoughts as coherently as possible! (under the cut. i got carried away)

ovidius was the youngest child of a very wealthy family. he's contemporary to bram.

he manifested his ability for the first time when he was around ten years old, when his older brother died. his ability allows him to send people to that sorta-underworld place he sent atsushi in the fic. i've been thinking about his immortality and i've decided he wasn't immortal at first, that's the reason he didn't stop aging as a child—but he angered the unnamed entity (the one that changed forms in the fic) when he started to abuse his ability, so now his soul isn't allowed down there. thus, he can't die.

when bram met him, ovidius was in his early twenties and famous, a beloved ability user who could give people the chance of bringing back their loved ones, and he was insufferable. bram didn't even like him at first, because he was so full of himself and thought he was so special.

but bram wanted to see his daughter one last time. it wasn't even about bringing her back, so there would be not problem, right? except bram was a vampire already, and when ovidius tried sending him, he couldn't. bram brushed it off, whatever, and didn't plan on seeing that man again.

ovidius' life changed soon. people started to hate him. everyone failed to bring people back and either came back alone or died too, and people liked to blame him. it was easier. people wanted him dead, but he never died, somehow. not even when he tried doing the job himself.

he stopped aging at 28. he went back to bram because he knew bram was immortal too, and he felt so alone. bram is not one to take pity easy, but ovidius was so genuinely miserable he just. sort of kept him around. ovidius liked poetry, made good tea and was really smart; having learnt how fast the idols fall, he was really nice, too. maybe they fell in love after a while. not like either of them ever touched the subject, tho.

and then, one day, ovidius asked bram to try to kill him. and bram did, despite himself, because he knew that immortality is not a gift. he drank his blood, all his blood until he felt sick, and ovidius fell like dead weight. he kept the body close just in case but he really thought he made it, until a few days later ovidius woke up again, as healthy as ever, and left.

i have a few more things but this got WAY too long. sorry. thanks for asking about him he's my most beloved mentally ill guy

#oc: ovidius #you asked for some lore i gave you all of it. sorry again

[im-a-chunky-potato]

WERE MOOTS AGAIN!!!

DO YOU HAVE ANY HCS YOUD LIKE TO SHARE :D!!

[apologies for the caps i am simultaneously tired out of my mind and full of energy help]

HIIII! okay okay my brain is blanking out on headcannons so you get something even better, and can hear about my coffee shop au! (It's not that impressive but egeghsh)

Its also pretty long so just be prepared!

First off This is just a modern au, there's no abilities in it!

So really the main characters are Fyodor, Nikolai, and Sigma because they run the coffee shop in the au.

Speaking of that the coffee shop is names the Decay of Angles because somebody misheard them and they couldnt afford to fix that when they noticed it so the name just stuck around^^

Sigma is the only responsible one of the group and acts as the manager of the shop

Nikolai's job is to help with marketing ideas and provide fun event ideas.

And Fyodor deals with creating new menu items and just making great coffee

They all take turns taking people's orders so it's a completely different experience with each person you get!

-----------------------------------------------

The basic concept I had for this is that it's just a really chaotic coffee shop where people all around Yokohama come to meet new people and share their stories! Umm as for other characters I've added we have

*Dazai- a pretty popular photographer known for his dynamic photos. His most popular being one known as the burahai trio and then a lot of photos of a certain redhead. He's a pretty common customer!

*Atsushi- A broke student just looking for a cheap way to stay caffeinated and to make money. He helps around the shop and befriends Sigma.

*Akutagawa is pretty much the same as atsushi, but quieter.

*Elise- a sassy little girl who just likes her caffeine

*Yosano- the cities best doctor with some veterinarian skills too! If anything is injured go to her! She's very much in need of coffee.

*Rampo, still the greatest detective the world has ever seen! Usually he goes to the coffee shop to question or give riddles to fyodor

*poe, rampoe's boyfriend and one paying for all the coffee:( he's an ongoing author!

*the hunting dogs are all police officers

*Higuchi is a model! Because I said so

*all of the black lizards+kajii and Chuuya are part of a band for fun! Chuuya definitely gets recognized the most though.

Everyone else is there too I just need to figure them out heheh

---------------------------------------------

MOVING ON! Obviously there needs to be some sort of issue so I've decided that Fitzgerald wants to buy out the coffee shop and turn it into a chain. But that would lose the charm it has, and all the customers are against it and chaos ensues

But I think it'd also be fun to just delve into everyone's stories and have fun with that, so who knows.

-----------------------------------------------

Relationship wise I have no clue but

Dazai and Fyodor definitely act like exes towards each other

Sskk and skk exist in this universe

Maybe healthy fyolai? As if that exists.

---------------------------------------------

Ahaha sorry this is already getting quite long! Maybe I'll share more eventually, I have so many thoughts on this au. Though I don't wish to bore you!

#Hsysjhdhsjsjehhe sorry I think about this way earlier too much #If I have any fluff ideas it usually gets converted into this! I even did some writing for it just nothing good enough to share! #But yeah glad to have my mutual back!!! #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd au #thanks for the ask!

[diagonal-queen]

belated thungo thursday! someone's about to be real sad and that someone is ME

dazai: you have to do an impossibly important job for me akutagawa: oka- dazai: keep atsushi safe akutagawa: N E V E R

akutagawa was like 'dont kill the weretiger. not cus i like him or anything, but because if you kill him, he's gonna revive and he's gonna be an even bigger pain in the ass. save all of us the trouble'

NOT fukuchi being like 'respect the elderly' and akutagawa is like 'i don't discriminate. i hate everyone regardless of their age'

am i the only one who sometimes gets a little annoyed at how atsushi and akutagawa are always arguing with each other? like in the right time and place it's very funny and actually very important to their relationship but the two of them will literally put more effort into insulting each other than defending their lives from the powerful enemy who is very much trying to kill them. PRIORITIES BOYS. PRIORITIES. EVEN SOUKOKU DON'T DO THAT

'Do we need any more?' who wants to tell him

(SORRY THAT WAS SO UNCALLED FOR LMAOOAAOOAOAOAOAOAOAOA)

i wonder how fukuchi discovered his ability. like imagine as a kid he was just like hanging out with a friend or something and they were eating chips or something and he jokingly throws a chip at his friend and the impact from that single chip makes said friend fly across the room and land on the floor dead and fukuchi is like 'uh. whoops'

NOOOOO THEY DIDNT ANIMATE THE PART WHERE AKUTAGAWA AND ATSUSHI WERE ARM IN ARM FOR A SECOND BEFORE AKUTAGAWA PUSHED HIM AWAY :(

'four years ago dazai san abandoned me' omg akutagawa taking that shit SO personal. he left because his bestie got killed by some french dude it had nothing to do with your emo ass

'i don't get paid enough to die with a villain!' he was so real for that

holy shit the part where sskk caught the bullets and dropped them i fucking gasped. that was so sexy and for what??? why was that so hot i rewatched it like ten times holy shit hotties

okay akutagawa knowing how to safely choke someone?? i guess we know what he's into

im curious as to why atsushi didnt ask akutagawa to go longer without killing someone- like a year or something. did he think he'd say no? was he thinking 'that's too high a goal for this maniac. baby steps' LMAOOOO

i love how atsushi's run is like this goofy ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡ thing while akutagawa just naruto runs with a stone cold expression

'should we be outed, my head will be the first to fly' akutagawa on his odasaku arc

(THAT ONE WAS EVEN MEANER HELP IM SO SORRY)

i think its established pretty well now that i find atsushi sexy (and im sure absolutely nobody else does, but dont come for me) his tiger stripe mark things on his face make him look WICKEDLY attractive. argue with the wall

fukuchi live tweeting this crap like 'having a smoke while these gay boys plan to kill me. i'll update if i live lol'

people really always be like 'fukuchi has a point because of his war experience' i guarantee you if you were to approach any actual veterans and ask them if their experience in conflict made them want to plot for decades in order to kill everyone in the world who has ever been a veteran/fought in any sort of conflict, they would NOT give you an affirmative response. shut the fuck up

AND HE'S LIKE 'my struggles have been infinite and nobody gives me recognition for them so im mad' BUDDY WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO?????? AKUTAGAWA IS RIGHT THERE (and atsushi too but i mean he's kinda gotten some recognition for his rough life. akutagawa's gotten NONE)

imagine akutagawa like in beast breaking his arm and yosano is like 'oh dw akutagawa i can fi-' and then he's just using rashoumon to do it himself lmao (does he do that in beast? i havent finished it)

atsushi: i need to defeat this villain me: cus he wants to end the wor- atsushi: because i dont want akutagawa to do it first me:

DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT THEIR CONSTANT BICKERING???? DAMNIT SSKK

heyyyyy we finally got an akutagawa ass shot!!! *adds to collection* i

akutagawa: i need to defeat this villain me: cus he wants to end the wor- akutagawa: because i want dazai to think im cool me:

i mean he soon followed it by saying 'i would never work for you because you'll never be as cool as dazai' which is very true, so i guess you've redeemed yourself for now akutagawa

akutagawa in uniform >>>>>>>>

whoever is voicing akutagawa and atsushi in this ep deserves a million billion dollars

im sorry sskk. i didnt mean to laugh. but the sudden triumphant moment being cut off (as well as atsushi's hand lmaoo) made me giggle im sorry

TIGER FISHEYE

this episode got me wondering all over again; HOW is anybody going to defeat fukuchi. there is (seemingly) literally no way to best the spacetime sword (can't be arsed to remember its name im sorry). how the hell are they gonna resolve this. im not smart enough to theorise like the rest of you guys

holy shit what a perfect way to end that episode. like the suddenness of it and screaming akutagawa's name, but also because i haven't stopped listening to tetsu no ori since it came out and i'm obsessed with this song. everyone say thankyou granrodeo

i'm surprised i spent most of that time thirsting instead of crying. let's wait and see what happens next thungo thursday!!

#dia's daydreams #thungo thursday #the sillies #thirsty thungo thursday #haha #alliteration frustration #HAHA #rhyme time #HEHEHAHSHDHDH

[scriveyner]

chase forever down 6/31

chase forever down | 6/31 | bungou stray dogs | 👿🐯 / sskk | #smarch 🔞| ~2200 words

It was raining again, which was about right, for the middle of the rainy season. Atsushi sighed as he stood under the awning and closed his umbrella, the rain on the awning above a steady patter. Akutagawa had texted him an address today, which was fine, but this time Atsushi had the forethought to punch it into the maps app on his phone to discover that he’d been directed not to a hotel, as he expected, but an izakaya.

Continue on AO3 or:

Odd, but not unusual enough to give him pause. Usually, when Akutagawa texted an address it was to a hotel, or somewhere else indoors because he was feeling particularly vampiric and had missed a meal, or simply didn’t want to be seen. He wondered, idly, what this was all about. Atsushi left his umbrella in the stand just inside the door and entered.

The izakaya was small and about half full; no one even glanced up at his entrance. Akutagawa was easily identifiable, sitting at the bar that faced the kitchen and dressed in simple, but sharply tailored civilian clothing—a black button-down and black trousers. He didn’t look up when Atsushi scooted out the chair next to him and sat with a whuff.

“This is different,” he said by way of greeting, and Akutagawa finally glanced at him. “Never seen this place before, is it owned by Port Mafia?”

“I am permitted to patronize establishments not controlled by the Port Mafia,” Akutagawa said flatly, and Atsushi raised his eyebrow. “But yes, this is a laundering front.”

Atsushi snorted. “Of course, it is.” He hooked his elbow over the back of his chair and looked down the length of the room, but the patrons did in fact seem like normal people; but then again, didn’t most who worked the most mundane of jobs at organizations like that? He hardly expected a secretary or office worker to look a particular way. “So why this place? Makes me feel like we’re going out, eating together like this.”

He ordered food, watching Akutagawa out of the corner of his eye. He had seen Akutagawa’s shoulders tense when he said that, which was curious in and of itself. “Are we going out?”

Akutagawa lifted his tea and took a drink. “You belong to me.”

“Okay, one, incorrect.” Atsushi jabbed his finger at Akutagawa. “And two, that wasn’t an answer.” Akutagawa made a noncommittal noise, and Atsushi blew out a breath in frustration.

“It was answer enough. You belong to me, whether you admit it or not.” Akutagawa tilted his head. “I have fed from you enough that my venom is in your veins. You would make any other vampire quite sick by this point, should they attempt to feed from you.”

Atsushi said, “your what?” Then he waved his hand, dismissing it, because Akutagawa said shit like that now like it was normal, he’d deal with it later. “How many vampires do you think I’m going to let feed on me, anyway? It’s not like they’re lining up around the block, here. Heck, do you even know any other vampires?”

Akutagawa took another sip of his hot tea. “Only one.”

“See? So, I don’t know why you’re making this about that.” He waved his hand again, and a hot tea slid across the counter to him as well. “Fine, I’m yours in the sense that I’m your walking, talking, personal blood bank. What about us?”

Akutagawa was silent for a little bit, contemplating this. “I suppose this could be construed as a date,” he mused. “Not that I have any experience in these endeavors, so I’m not certain of the proper order of things.”

“You don’t say,” Atsushi said dryly. Akutagawa gave him a look, and Atsushi put his chin in his hand. “So, we’re going out then.”

“It appears as such.”

Atsushi exhaled one long breath. Now it felt like a weight had lifted from him, and he could exist again. He’d been thinking about this all week, trying to decide the angle that he wanted to address this from; and it was as simple as this. He was suddenly, weirdly, seized with the urge to lean over and kiss Akutagawa but restrained it. They were in a Port Mafia owned izakaya, after all.

His food arrived steaming hot, and even Akutagawa had a small meal. They ate in mostly silence, listening to the background chatter of the people around them coming and going, with the cacophony from the open kitchen drowning out almost everything interesting. It was comforting, again, to just be sitting beside Akutagawa. Atsushi refused to think about anything else, especially not how he’d spent the majority of last night thinking more about how he might get another chance to suck Akutagawa’s dick today.

With a stomach full of warm food, Atsushi signed in contentment. He kept his hands around his hot tea until Akutagawa stood from his seat. “Shall we?”

Atsushi looked at his drink. “I haven’t paid for my meal, yet.”

“And you won’t. It’s been taken care of.” Atsushi blinked at him dumbly, and Akutagawa rolled his eyes. “On account.”

“Oh. Oh.” Atsushi took one last sip of his tea, and then flushed pink. “You paid for my dinner! You didn’t have to do that—”

“Weretiger, I’ve seen how you live.”

Atsushi stuck his tongue out at Akutagawa’s back as he followed him to the exit. His umbrella was still in the stand, although the rain had broken; there were a few spots of blue sky peeking between the thready grey clouds. The sun was setting now, though, so the daylight would not last long.

“Now what?” Atsushi asked his umbrella in hand and shadowing his eyes. Akutagawa typed something on his phone and inclined his head.

“I have a room.”

“Of course you do,” Atsushi snorted, because he was inured to it at this point. He walked beside Akutagawa, as apparently this place wasn’t particularly far and it felt nice, even if the air was still cool and damp.

To his absolute lack of surprise, this was also a love hotel. Akutagawa had apparently already purchased the room; there was a young couple standing at the opaque window who very pointedly did not look at them as they passed. Atsushi flushed pink, and Akutagawa smirked at him.

“Shy, weretiger?”

“People come here to fuck, of course, I’m shy.” Atsushi rubbed his arms, folded across his chest, as they walked. “I mean, we use it for other things, but—”

“Sometimes.” Akutagawa’s smirk was razor-sharp. “And sometimes we fuck.”

Now Atsushi’s face went bright red since he couldn’t deny it. Akutagawa laughed as he unlocked the door, and Atsushi stepped inside the room.

This hotel was slightly shabbier than the last one; no mirrored ceiling this time, thank goodness. Atsushi shuffled around inside the door while Akutagawa walked into the room proper, popping the top buttons of his collared shirt. He turned and looked at Atsushi, cocking his barely-there eyebrow. “Come now, weretiger. Nervous?”

“No.” Yes. “It just feels…different, this time. You need to feed, right?” That was, weird as it sounded, familiar and less scary at this point. Atsushi started to loosen his tie, and Akutagawa watched him critically as he slid it off.

“I do, but not yet. We did, after all, just have a delectable meal. And,” he added, taking a step closer to Atsushi, “I would like to savor my dessert.”

Atsushi relaxed into the kiss because this was easy. Akutagawa’s mouth was something he knew and understood. They parted, and the blush had subsided…somewhat. Akutagawa started unbuttoning Atsushi’s shirt, and said, casually, “I wish to see you touch yourself today, weretiger.”

“…what?” Atsushi was preoccupied with Akutagawa’s hands on his shirt. He’d never noticed how thin they were, pale like the rest of him; the words finally completed review and he looked up, startled. “What?”

Akutagawa smirked as he tugged on the end of Atsushi’s shirt, but went no lower. “Indulge my curiosity. Unless you wanted to do something else?”

Akutagawa…wanted to watch him jerk off? Atsushi squirmed in place; he had wanted very much to suck him but now the thought of speaking it aloud gave him pause. What if Akutagawa didn’t want him to? Anyway, it was embarrassing, but the other side of the coin was that Akutagawa had already had Atsushi’s dick in his mouth, so it wasn’t like there was anything left to hide there.

“Okay,” Atsushi said, uncertainly.

Rashomon rippled off the back of his clothing, dragging the single chair over by the bed, and Akutagawa sat, crossing his legs at the knee, watching over Atsushi as he finished undressing. Atsushi realized, very suddenly, that he’d never been fully nude and when he looked up Akutagawa was watching him very intently, eyes glittering.

He held out his hand to Atsushi and Atsushi walked over. “Your clothing makes you look slimmer,” Akutagawa said, when Atsushi stopped right in front of him, red as a traffic light. He placed his palm of Atsushi’s hip, before tracing his fingers over the faint definition of muscle under his skin. “And those ridiculous tiger limbs dwarf you, but you are…” he trailed off, eyes tracing up Atsushi’s chest until he met his eye and held it. “Delicious.”

Atsushi swallowed, but now Akutagawa’s hand drifted lower, finger tracing down through the wiry curls that framed his cock. His fingertips were like electricity, and Atsushi shuddered when Akutagawa stroked him slowly, waking his erection. “Perhaps I spoke too soon,” he murmured. “I think I’d much rather suck you, tonight. In more ways than one.”

“Can I…?” Atsushi asked, suddenly, and that broke the spell on Akutagawa. He lifted his eyes again to Atsushi, who said, stronger this time, “I want to suck you too. Can I?”

He seemed taken aback. “After what happened last time?”

Atsushi had to take two showers to get the spunk out of his hair; and was only too thankful that he didn’t run into anyone in the Agency on his way to the baths. Atsushi put his hand on the back of the armchair, forcing Akutagawa back as he leaned over him, knee going up on the cushion between his now-spread legs.

“Because of what happened last time,” Atsushi breathed, a fire beginning to burn in his belly. “I want to taste you again, now, when I don’t have to worry about being interrupted.”

Akutagawa’s mouth opened slightly; his head tilted back as he stared at Atsushi. Then that same sharp-edged smirk materialized, and he settled both his hands on Atsushi’s hips. “The bed is big enough for both of us,” he said, and leaned in close, biting Atsushi’s hip.

=====

Atsushi gripped Akutagawa’s thigh tightly, gasping as Akutagawa deep-throated him again. He was laid up on his side, one leg thrown over Akutagawa’s shoulder and his own face buried against Akutagawa’s twitching, drooling cock.

He’d been lapping at it for a while, intoxicated with the taste, but Akutagawa was beginning to get rough with him, swallowing him down in ways Atsushi couldn’t match, his arm looped over Atsushi’s side and two fingers deep in his ass. Atsushi couldn’t focus or concentrate, because the pleasure was threatening to overwhelm him, but he was doing his damnedest to hang on.

He was going to make Akutagawa climax first, damn it.

Atsushi heard Akutagawa choke slightly, draw off his cock and laugh. “You can’t keep an internal monologue to save your life, weretiger,” he wheezed, turning his head and dragging his fangs down Atsushi’s inner thigh. The scrape was barely painful; in fact, it lit his nerves on fire in new ways, and Atsushi’s thighs trembled as he clamped down on the fingers crooked inside him.

“Gonna make you,” Atsushi panted, sucking on the head of Akutagawa’s cock, and then popping off, pulling his hand tight around the shaft, stroking rapidly, “you’re gonna, first…”

“We shall see,” Akutagawa’s voice was at least worn and ragged, he was being affected, even if it wasn’t as bad as Atsushi himself. “Because I think I,” he twisted his fingers and Atsushi’s hips bucked, he squeezed Akutagawa’s cock but his eyes went back and he was gone, balls clenching as he released, falling straight over the edge. “I will be the winner again.”

He panted, lying on his side in the mess of the covers, body still quaking with the aftershocks from his orgasm. Akutagawa shifted free, pulling himself up on his knees, over Atsushi. “Weretiger,” he said, hoarsely, and Atsushi turned his head half-blindly, to see that Akutagawa had his dick in his hand. “Open your mouth.”

There was no weird voice modulation there, his eyes remained their usual grey, but still, Atsushi opened his mouth, tongue out, and Akutagawa stroked himself to completion across his face. He closed one eye just to be safe, but Akutagawa had good aim even leaned over him; most of the spill of fluid landed over his mouth and up his cheek.

When he was certain Akutagawa was through, he licked his lips and swallowed. “Good boy,” Akutagawa murmured, still leaning over him—and then he brushed some sweat-stuck hair from Atsushi’s neck and bit him, high up.

Atsushi keened at the fresh wave of pleasure that shot through his limbs, his cock jerking weakly and dribbling additional fluid as Akutagawa held him down and fed. “Fuck,” Atsushi sobbed, clawing red scratches into Akutagawa’s arm as he went light-headed and dizzy, and finally passed out, hand thumping lifelessly to the bed.

<< Chapter 5 ||| Start ||| Chapter 7 >>

#bungou stray dogs #sskk #shin soukoku #vampire fic #smarch #lemony fresh

[djcarnationsblog]

Selecting and Atsushi

So, remember that SSKK fic I made a while back? Yeah, so I was thinking about it recently and I came to a conclusion:

Being a DJ fits awfully well with Atsushi. Morality-wise.

There’s more to a DJ than just playing songs and hyping up a crowd, although it seems that way from an outsider’s point of view, like I did for Akutagawa. There;s careful consideration of the age group, the type of music to play, what gets the crowd up and dancing, the songs people want to hear, how many times they want to hear it, etc etc.

Being a DJ means a lot of people-pleasing, especially since it is one of those jobs intertwined with the entertainment industry. It’s a whole lot of giving, and not much recieving, unless we’re talking cash and a good night to party.

Atsushi would do really well in a job like selecting. He’s very intentive with details, and very willing to do things for people rather than do things for himself. His own perception of himself aligns with the work ethics of being a DJ.

As a DJ myself, I know what it’s like to have a crowd love you for your talent, praise you for what you can do. It feels like a thank you, or a payment towards all that you do for them, however small. I think that’s something Atsushi doesn’t take for granted, craves for it even. That praise and approval, the ability to let people enjoy their night all because of him.

It would definitely leave a big imprint on him.

Not only that, but it’s easy to identify Atsushi as a good DJ. Not a Bad One.

Not the ones that play their own music how they want, when they want, with no regard for the crowd. Not the ones who are the only ones at the party having fun, while everyone sits idle, not caring for the music that plays. Not even the ones speaking or cheering into the mic every five seconds to the point where you can’t even enjoy the music cause all you hear is talking talking talking.

No, Atsushi’s the good kind of DJ that’s always out for request songs, who works carefully to seamlessly transition between one good song to the next, who runs off out into the crowd and completely abandons his turntable set to coax people into dancing with the really fun music. He’s the good kind of the DJ who makes games to get the crowd excited, who hardly touches the mic unless he really, really needs to.

Atsushi’s the selfless, people-pleasing kind of DJ that DJs are supposed to be.

He’d be flawless at the job.

#Sorry #had to ramble #the opportunity arose and I snatched it #DJC Rambles #bsd #Atsushi Nakajima #DJ #Selecting #I'm also airing out my pet peeves #so enjoy that too-

[faerynova]

uhhh kinda stupid lmao but like,,, instead of atsushi being the brains in shin soukoku he’s like the heart? If that makes sense lol. Okay, so Fukuzawa and Mori were both pretty strategic and strong at the same time(ik they weren’t soukoku technically but like), Soukoku had Dazai as a brain and Chuuya as the brawn. Except, Dazai was intelligent in an analytical way?? While Atsushi is more emotionally intelligent. That’s why i think he’s more heart than brain, but still technically the brawn. Meanwhile, Akutagawa is the brawn obv but is only with Atsushi due to a single goal:to impress Dazai. So, yea. They aren’t on good terms, but at the same time they need each other too.

So basically, what im trying to say is this: brain and brawn CAN be aligned with each other. But heart and brawn are a little... harder to align but it’s a good combination too. Hope this made sense^^

its not stupid, im always up for talking abt characterization and stuff! and youre valid in your sskk take, im here to hear opinions-- but i cant really vibe with it? and i wasnt really able to word *why* so i took it to my friend who is a God at bsd analysis and im copypasting them.

again absolutely NO disrespect in this, i love engaging in analysis like this (even when im no thoughts head empty like right now--)

copypasted words from @yarrayora:

while “heart” is an important aspect to have in a world as bleak as BSD universe, it's not something that necessarily matters in the missions they have to do. what's important are their capability to think up of a solution to solve their problems, which they haven't been able to do without dazai holding their hands, unfortunately.

not to mention, we have seen atsushi straight up not empathizing with the enemies of BSD at all, even after finding out their tragic backstory. it's not just akutagawa that he refuses to understand, take a look at how he handled fitzgerald. if bsd was a shounen manga, when atsushi found out his daughter is dead, atsushi would surely empathize with him. but no, this is seinen, and atsushi focuses on the important matter which is fitzgerald was fucking insane for willing to destroy an entire city to gamble on the possibillity that he can revive his daughter. plus BSD is the kind of story that shows even kindness, 'heart', is not enough to help people without the skills to back it up. (yosano's kindness led to her being called an angel of death, kunikida's kindness led to children being used against him). and as mentioned before, atsushi and akutagawa haven't gotten to the point where they can do it without dazai guiding them.

they already work well without each other, and their teamwork was the worst because it was forced upon them by dazai. both atsushi and akutagawa wanted to impress dazai, however atsushi has no desire to work with akutagawa despite of it, while akutagawa forces himself to be okay with it by rationalizing that atsushi was a trial dazai set for him.

which leads to the latest chapter, where they define their 'trust' for each other based on knowing that dazai would abandon akutagawa if atsushi was to die, with the heavy implication that dazai wouldn't care as much if akutagawa was the one who die instead.

in the end, shin soukoku is less about akutagawa and atsushi, and more about dazai trying to fix his past mistakes without actually acknowledging it.

and back to my own words:

i do think theyre a pretty powerful duo, esp with their team up move. raw power? a lot. but raw power isnt enough for them to be soukoku material. and emotional intelligence just isnt gonna get the job done.

i just cant say that they need each other, because emotionally theyre bad for each other, and they don’t really fill in anything that the other is lacking in regards to fighting.

#bungou stray dogs #it is 1 in the am and i should be drawing christmas presents #ask #lostliterary #lost literary

[sword-dad-fukuzawa]

Let’s Talk Dead Apple, pt. 1 (alternatively, things I loved)

What I loved, the themes, the apples, and Dazai as Snow White

I firmly maintain that Dead Apple is a fever dream of a movie and I can’t forgive how badly it massacred Atsushi’s character development for most of it. I love my sushi boi, but he was my least favorite part of this movie. However, it fed the Chuuya stans, the Aku stans, the Kyouka stans, the Tsujimura stans, and the stans of BSD men wearing white, so it isn’t a total loss. Plus, so much of the dialogue is really pretty and is filled with symbolism! As a literature nerd, this excites me!

Yes, I’m embarrassing. This has already been established. 

Anyway, this is a post about me rambling on about all the symbolism and theories I have surrounding this movie, because rewatching it made me understand it better. Feel free to chip in wherever you think I’ve missed the mark utterly or if you see something you agree with. I love discussion!

Okay, first! Dazai and Atsushi’s relationship in this movie was so pure, and kind of made me understand why Dazatsu is a ship. Dazai’s the king of feeling things, deciding he doesn’t want to feel those things, and deflecting by acting like a clown. Which...I can honestly relate to way too much. But Atsushi’s bullshit meter is so finely tuned that he doesn’t actually notice Dazai’s trying to bullshit him. Case in point, in the scene where Dazai’s sitting at Oda’s grave:

Dazai, scoffing: Does it look like I’m visiting a grave to you? Atsushi, entirely guileless: It does, why? Dazai: *looks very surprised, then resigned*

Dazai then explains about Oda, which, yes Dazai! You’re opening up! But then he immediately walks back all that perceived character development by going “I’m kidding”. Damn it.

It’s fine, we made some progress. But this exchange happens again at the end!! Narrative bookending!! I love that!!

Atsushi: You tried to protect the city.  Dazai: Do I look like such a good person? Atsushi: Sure, why? Dazai: *is utterly flabbergasted at Atsushi’s continued faith in him, because it really doesn’t match up with his self-image of himself as a terrible person*

Secondly--Ranpo started stockpiling snacks as soon as the briefing about Shibusawa concluded. This absolute madlad figured out what would happen in the first few minutes, with incredibly limited data, and promptly decided his priority was to protect his snacks. 

Thirdly, there’s a part where Atsushi and Kyouka are told to eliminate Shibusawa, by any means necessary. (Nice job on getting the freelancers to cover up for the government’s mistakes, Ango.) Atsushi looks blank as ever, but Kyouka’s eyes narrow and her face becomes more set. That’s the face of someone who knows exactly what “any means necessary” actually means, because Atsushi’s all “nooo I don’t want to kill people”. Gah, I love Kyouka as a foil for Atsushi’s character development. 

Also, the color symbolism!! Beast Beneath the Moonlight and Demon Snow both appear in blue, while Rashoumon appears in red. All Men Are Equal is in blue, and Elise is in red/pink. I absolutely love the consistent color dichotomies. 

Dazai being an actual comedic genius is hilarious, by the way. Like the famous “meow” scene was great, but just as good was Dazai making fun of Shibusawa having no friends. I didn’t write down the exact exchange, but it was something like this:

Dazai: Honestly, you don’t have any friends. Shibusawa: I don’t need friends. *Emo rant about the world* Dazai, unimpressed: Yeah, that’s the sort of thing you’d say if you didn’t have any friends.

Shibusawa’s already dead Dazai, you can stop dragging him. 

Atsushi has the shittiest aim, I swear to God. He shot his ability several times trying to get at the gem but kept missing. It made me unreasonably angry at him. Oh, and SSKK thing I noticed! Aku, despite not having braincells when Dazai’s involved, is fairly good at strategic thinking. That whole fight with Rashoumon was awesome, even more so because it wasn’t a fight about who had the most power. In comparison, Atsushi isn’t much of a strategic thinker and seems to operate entirely on his instincts...which are crazy good, anyway, so he’s vibing. 

Shin soukoku really be mirroring their senpais. 

Tiger furry: Akutagawa!!! Goth boi: DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

*flashbacks to literally every fight where Dazai and Chuuya team up*

And is it just me, or does Aku kinda remind Atsushi of his asshole headmaster? There was a moment where Aku’s yelling at him triggered a flashback. Poor bby. 

I found it really cool that many of the ability crystals had different shapes. It’s not obvious at first glance, but they’re not all just one stereotypical diamond. I think it’s nice that Bones decided to showcase the uniqueness of all the abilities. 

This is getting unreasonably long, so I’ll split this up into parts. Part 2 coming soon, heh. 

#bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #atsushi nakajima #dead apple #manga #anime #shin souokou #akutagawa ryuunosuke #osamu dazai #shibusawa tatsuhiko #fyodor dostoevsky #kyouka izumi #Aurie Character Analysis #literature analysis nerd #meta

[kyouka-supremacy]

Sskk headcanons for you, my liege:

- Akutagawa visits Atsushi's ADA apartment, and is horrified that his jinko sleeps in a closet. He takes Atsushi mattress shopping, but blindfolds him first. That way, Atsushi can't see the price tags, and will be honest about his preferences.

- Atsushi makes homemade sweets for Akutagawa, because he knows Aku has a sweet tooth.

- They go on lots of festival dates, especially during the summer. Neither of them got to experience a normal teenage life, and it's a nice break from their insane jobs. Kouyou handmakes yukata for them, and Yosano does Atsushi's hair. Akutagawa is always awestruck at how pretty Atsushi is. They walk around for hours, playing games and eating festival food, holding hands. During the fireworks show, Atsushi sometimes falls asleep with his head on Akutagawa's shoulder.

- Being around Atsushi physically relaxes Akutagawa, because he knows (even subconsciously) that Atsushi will keep him safe. He sleeps best when he's laying next to his jinko (especially when Atsushi plays with his hair.) Bonus points if Atsushi is purring-- it'll put Akutagawa straight to sleep.

THANK YOU THESE WERE ALL AMAZING all your ideas are absolutely blessed and get instantly integrated in my canon belief system, I don't even know how you do it.

Atsushi sleeping in a closet as a concept only keeps delivering, and it's only made better when you add Akutagawa to the scene? Did he comment on how cats like to be in boxes. Did he make a “talk about being in the closet......... ” joke. But most importantly how did he find out? Was he visiting Atsushi's place for the first time and he sat down on the only bed there and the exchange happened “get off, that's Kyouka's bed” “What do you mean Kyouka's bed? Where the hell do you sleep?” “I sleep in the closet” “... You sleep in the closet.”. Never getting tired of the potential this has, and the concept of Akutagawa blindfolding him, I can't, that's too cute 😭😭😭 Like yeah that would definitely happen!!! Because Akutagawa is all about this kind of silent acts of care, and Atsushi would probably never allow him to buy something expensive for him knowing the price tag. This is all so cute.

And I'm ALL IN for Atsushi baking for Akutagawa that sounds like something he would definitely do!!!! The kind of domestic activity he never got the chance to do but that he really wants to catch up on now. Also Atsushi basically forcing Akutagawa to eat because Akutagawa can't say no to Atsushi. They're so cute they make me sick.

But yeah ultimately it's all about sskk exploring what it feels like to have a normal life and catching up on everything they've missed together, and it's so cute, it's one of my favorite things. They probably have a never-ending bucket list of all things they consider “normal” and slowly fill it together. They watch a lot of movies (especially for kids) and go to amusement parks together a lot and of course festival dates!!! Akutagawa always has his breath taken away by seeing Atsushi, but like, that's just Ryuunosuke Akutagawa for you. And the concept of Atsushi falling asleep on Akutagawa's shoulder 😭😭😭 Akutagawa probably going into internal combustion even though it's like the twelfth time that happened.

And I AM a firm believer Akutagawa can only really fall asleep with Atsushi like. That's the only thing that still keeps my sleepyhead-Akutagawa belief standing although he canonly only sleeps like four hours. He can only sleep with Atsushi because Atsushi is the only person who can make him feel safe! Also this

Thank you again for your blessed mind long live sskk

#“ ‘His’ Jinko” I've literally transformed to a sobbing puddle on the ground #ryūnosuke akutagawa #atsushi nakajima #sskk #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd headcanons #people asks me stuff #<333

[rawripopsarentlollipops]

Idea: bonnie and Clyde style sskk relationship.

Semi nsfw, copied & pasted from my texts so it’s in text format

Aku ends up getting separated from his sister as kids and never joins the port mafia. He meets homeless Atsushi when Atsushi’s 18. Aku has just been fired, Atsushi tries to rob him at the river bank before he can see Dazai. Aku decides to take him in despite being less than a month away from losing his apartment and car. They don’t stick around long enough to see Dazai float down and get caught in a fishing net later.

Atsushi and Aku both try to look for jobs, but eventually Atsushi (very reluctantly) suggest robbing Aku’s old job.

They don’t actually start thinking about each other in a romantic way until after they successfully rob the place, they’re so high on adrenaline that they accidentally kiss. Then after a moment, they do it again on purpose.

They rob another place after the money dries up because they still can’t find work, both of them being relatively uneducated, it’s tough to find a job. After that, they get addicted to the adrenaline rush of robbing a place and not getting caught. They start roaming the island, robbing whatever place they can. It’s not even about the money so much as the rush, so most the cash is found on the street.

The entire time, the armed detective agency is after them because they know the robbers have supernatural abilities. It only took Aku one night to find out Atsushi’s a tiger, then only a week or two to teach him how to control it because they both had a month of nothing but online job applications and chilling at Aku’s apartment, they had a lot of free time to do stuff like that and of course they both used their abilities to rob banks, it’s not like they have guns or anything.

So anyways they start robbing banks together, usually only keeping enough for a few nights in a hotel room, celebrating together whenever the media mentions them on the tv or in the newspaper, fuckign the rest of the night away in hotels after getting drunk off their asses.

Dazai and Kunikida are the first ones to see their faces on their 8th robbery, they’re caught after 20 or something robberies and not killed because of their abilities. They later escape from prison and do it all again. (If this were true to Bonnie and Clyde, they would commit suicide by cop but bullets don’t really affect them so..)

[comphersjost]

i don’t want this night to end (like you always did) ➸ auston matthews

idk this popped into my head and i couldn’t wait to write it aksksksks it’s kinda long pero i hope you guys enjoy it!

words: 3345

auston and you have been hooking up for two years every time you’re in toronto visiting your best friend, and he always wants you to stay until morning. so when you get a job in toronto, you want so badly to give it.

warnings: smut, lotta fluff at the end, mutual pining, kinda angsty sskks

PSA this is a song fic so listen to this song while you read this!

find my masterlist here

lowercase intended

girl, I know I don't know you

but your pretty little eyes so blue,

are pulling me in like the moon on your skin

it was your eyes that pulled him in. so bright and so blue that they looked fake. they were. fake, that is. you wanted to try out some colored contacts and the blue ones happened to be in that night. he thought your natural color was more beautiful though, even more enticing than the colored lenses you had been wearing.

you didn't know him well. you’d met auston 2 years ago when you were in town visiting a friend. he was charming and had a voice that could probably convince you to do anything he wanted. one thing led to another and you ended up at his place. and then you left. and when you came back to toronto it happened again. and again. and again. and again. and your visits just happened to line up with when auston wasn't on the road.

and then your friend talked you into applying for jobs in toronto. you got the one you were hoping for. but you didn't tell him. how were you supposed to say “hey auston, we’ve fucked every time i’ve come to toronto and now i conveniently got a job and i’m moving here now”? no. especially not when he asked you to stay, every time. stay the night he would say, like he always did. i can’t. you would say, like you always did. i have an early flight.

i'm so glad you trusted me to slide up on this dusty seat

and let your hair down, and get outta town

you didn't tell auston that this time you were staying for good this time, only sent him a text that said back in town for a little while :), like you always did, that was met with an immediate response. come over? was his response. and you said yes. like you always did. this time though, he met you at the door, wearing sweatpants and tugging on a blue hoodie with a maple leafs logo. you pretended not to notice it, like you always did. you also pretend not to notice the bruise on his bicep, probably from getting checked into the glass. he greeted you with a gentle kiss to your lips,  hands cupping your face, one of rings on his car keys on his finger.

“c’mon,” was all he said, before taking your hand and leading you back down to his car, a pickup truck. he opened the door for you - ever a gentleman - and helped you up into the passenger’s seat.

“where we goin, aus?” you hummed when he climbed in next to you. he started the truck and pulled out of the driveway. he’s driving on a main road before he answers you.

“don’t know yet,” he looks over at you. the roads are empty - you came over late, like you always did. “don't have work for tomorrow so m’gonna drive around for a bit, see where the night takes us. that okay?” he leans over to take your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“yeah,” you say, “yeah that's definitely okay.”

got the stars comin' out,

over my hood

it’s nearly 11 now, and you know you won't be back at your new apartment - it feels strange to call it home so soon - till early tomorrow morning. auston keeps his fingers tangled with yours when he reaches over to turn on the radio, using his knuckle to push the buttons. he pulls your hand to his lips and presses a soft kiss to the back of your hand, letting your intertwined fingers fall in between the seats.

and all I know now

is it's going good

the silence is comfortable. good. everything was good with you. auston felt relaxed, at peace whenever you came over. even when he got the text that you're in town, it feels like a relief for him to know that you're close. he wishes you would stay with him, stay in toronto even, he'd like to take you out on a proper date. but you wouldn't, and he can't.

he knows he's taking a risk when he glances at you again and says, “i missed you.”

the corners of your mouth curl upwards. “missed you too, aus,” you murmur. this time you're the one to kiss his hand.

you got your hands up,

you're rocking in my truck

you got the radio on,

you're singing every song

a song comes on that you can’t ignore, and you start to sing along, leaning over to turn it up with your free hand. auston can't help the smile that overtakes his face as you belt out the lyrics to some random pop song that came on the radio. and then the next song. and the next.

i'm set on cruise control

i'm slowly losing hold of everything I got

fuck, you're beautiful, he thinks, but he doesn't say it. he keeps his mouth shut, like he always does. if he says things too serious or intense or too emotional that could blow his cover. it could expose him to you. and then you’d know that who he was. (you knew, but you never told him.) and you'd also know that may or may not have stalked your instagram, and almost hit follow one too many times. he refrained from following you, like he always did. (you’d gone private a few months ago, and he mourned the loss of seeing your face every time he missed you.) that given any chance, auston would ask you out, take you out on a date, and maybe ask you to be his girlfriend. it didn't help that you didn't even live in toronto, much less canada. and it definitely didn't help that you were friends - if he could even call your relationship a friendship - with benefits, but only when you were in town.

auston definitely didn't want you know that he wanted you to be around, to always be in town.

you're looking so damn hot

and I don't know what road we're on,

or where we've been from starin' at you

girl, all I know is I don't want this night to end

auston doesn't recognize the street you're on anymore, too busy sneaking glances at you singing along in the moonlight. he’s in trouble, and he knows it. you’re just so beautiful and he's so distracted and never wants you to leave. maybe this way he’ll be with you til morning. just once, he wants to wake up with you next to him.

gonna cuss the morning,

when it comes

'cause I know that the rising sun,

ain't no good for me

'cause you'll have to leave

auston hates mornings. he’s never been a morning person, but he's even less of one when you're around. you usually stay until he falls asleep, curled around you in his bed, and when he opens his eyes in the morning, you're gone and he's left feeling empty and longing.

gonna make the most of every mile

do anything to make your smile,

land on my lips

and get drunk on your kiss

aus parks the car at some viewpoint overlooking the city, he doesn't even know where he is anymore. if you're going to leave again, he's damn well going to make the most of it. get as much of you as you can before you're gone again. you turn to look at him, just as he leans in to kiss you. “missed you,” he mumbles again against your lips. “missed this.” the words register but you're too distracted by his mouth on yours to respond to him.

your lips fit and auston can't help but think that they're made for each other. that you're made for each other. he hates that he's falling so quickly and he barely knows you. but with his mouth on yours, he wants to know you. he wants to know your favorite food and if you hate mushrooms and your starbucks order and if you like pineapple on pizza or not. he wants to know it all.

his left hand comes up to cup your jaw, his right untangling from yours to rest on your thigh. he disconnects your lips a couple times to change the angle or let you catch your breath, but he's so addicted to you, he can't stay away. he deepens the kiss as his hands slides up your thigh, towards  the apex of your thighs. you whine softly into his mouth. you want to say touch me, auston but he won't leave your lips long enough for you to get even a word in. your hands card through his hair, tugging at the roots. a groan escapes his throat when give an especially harsh tug.

it’s when you're tugging his shirt over his head that auston releases both of your seatbelts and pulls you into his lap. the moment your seat on top of him he lowers the back of the driver’s seat and pulls you back into him by the back of your neck. you’re clothes come off in a hurry - he needs you.

auston has always given you the option of being on top but you've never taken it. this time, though, it seems like you will. before you can lower yourself onto him, auston’s hands are on your hips, pulling your center towards his face. “aus-” he shushes you before you can say anything.

“wanna taste you,” comes his grunt, and you don't argue. before you can say anything else his mouth is on you. you almost scream at the feeling, his tongue sneaking out do lap at your slit.

“oh fuck auston,” you moan, tangling your fingers in his hair. “fuck don't stop, that feels so good.” auston hums as he seals his lips around you clit and it’s almost embarrassing how close that action brings you to the edge.

auston nips at your swollen bud, and this time you do scream. “fuck! auston!” he does it again and your gasping out, hips grinding into his face. he hums in approval at the action, his hands moving to your ass and guiding you to ride his mouth. what auston doesn't know is that he completely and totally owns you. you’d do anything he asked if he just used that voice, the one he used when you first met. deep and seductive and it made you weak in the knees. and when he was so so good at eating you out like this, treating you right, you almost want to tell him that you're staying, for good this time. and you almost want to ask if maybe he wants to go out for real.

you’re snapped out of your thoughts when auston slides his tongue into you, and you almost cry from how good it feels.

“aus, aus, feels so good, m’so close,” you almost beg.

auston pulls away for just a moment to say, “i got you baby, let go for me.”

it’s not even five seconds later that he pulls your clit into his mouth again and you're thrown over the edge, seeing white. the only things leaving your mouth were his name and broken moans. god, he treated you so so good every time. his tongue guides you through your orgasm, long, soft strokes against your clit until you came down again.

auston places you back in his lap, sitting up so that his chest was against yours. “think you got one more for me honey?” he murmurs against your neck, peppering soft kisses on your throat and shoulder. no visible hickies he remembers you told him. maybe he could leave just one this time. after all, he doesn't know when he’ll see you again and wants to give you something to remember him by. he sucks gently at the spot below your collarbone just at the top of your breast. it isn't a bold mark, just a faint bruise. he knows you feel it because he can hear you let out a sigh of contentment at the feeling.

“want you,” you mumble into his hair. “want you so bad, aus.”

“okay. okay,” he breathes, lifting his head to look you in the eye. “still on the pill?” you nod down at him, leaning down to give him a quick kiss. at least, you intended for it to be quick. he keeps you there, lifting your hips with one hand and lowering you onto his cock with the other. you break the kiss as he inches you down on him.

“fuuuuuuck,” comes your moan. he’s so big and thick and you feel so stretched out. “please, please, aus, fuck.” before you can start to move, auston does. he’s holding you in place with an arm around your waist while he fucks up into you. the moans leaving your mouth are heaven to him, the most beautiful sound he's ever heard. he thrusts even harder when he thinks she’s making those sounds because of me. you cry out at the sharp thrusts, gripping his forearm that’s wrapped around your waist for dear life.

“fuck me, auston, fuck i’m gonna come again, fuck, aus.” the moment the words leave your lips, auston is working even harder to push you over. you’re clenching around him, holding onto him as if it’s the last time (for all you know it very well may be). his other hand comes down to rub your clit with his thumb, and you feel tears well up in your eyes from the overstimulation. you cry out his name again as you come.

the way you clench around him is enough to send auston into his own orgasm. his voice is rough and deep as he says your name, groans muffled by his head buried in your neck. “Y/N, i'm coming, fuck.” you have to push auston’s hand away from your pussy when you both come down, the feeling too sensitive and too painful for you to bear.

auston slips out of you as gently as he can, relishing in the moan that you let out when he seats you back on his thighs.

the clock on the dash,

says 3:35

there's plenty of gas,

and the night's still alive

he glances at the clock, and - 3:35 am - fuck it’s late. aus peppers kisses along your neck and collar bone, humming into your skin. your hand comes up to brush the bruise he left, hissing quietly at the sting.

“aus,” you start.

“i know,” he mumbles, “m’sorry, couldn't help myself.”

you tilt his head up to kiss him. “it’s okay, i like it.” warmth floods auston at your words and he kisses you deeper.

“will you stay?” he says it so quietly you're not sure if you heard him correctly.

“i-” you pause. you live here now, permanently as far as you can see. and maybe this should be the last time you see him, and if you weren't going to see him again then fuck yes you were going to stay. “yeah,” you continue, “yeah, i’ll stay.” you can feel auston’s grin on your lips, and you're almost shocked at how happy you staying through the night would make him.

you got your hands up,

you're rocking in my truck

you got the radio on,

you're singing every song

i'm set on cruise control

i'm slowing losing hold of everything I got

auston lays back down, pulling you down with him to lay on his chest, and curls his arms around you. you start to get sleepy with how comfortable you are and how he’s stroking your hair like that. you wished you could tell him that you were staying for more than just tonight. but it was a bad idea, and you knew it. who were you to date a hockey player? someone who was recognized everywhere he goes in the country of canada, and in most places in the states.

no. no you can’t tell him.

you're looking so damn hot

and I don't know what road we're on,

or where we've been from starin' at you

girl, all I know is I don't want this night to end

as auston slips deeper into sleep he can’t help but think again that he wishes you lived here. that you’d stay longer than just tonight. maybe then you could be a part of his life. permanently.

it’s 2 weeks later that auston sees you again. at least - he thinks he does. he’s drunk out of his mind at some bar or club that he can't even remember the name of and even then he can’t get you out of his head. he sees a flash of your hair, and then a peal of laughter that sounds so much like you. the girl’s eyes widen when she faces him. he thinks that she probably recognizes him, everyone in this goddamn city does.

he stumbles away before he says something he regrets, like calling for you in the middle of a bar. he finally gets outside, gasping for air. your name is the only thing going through his mind. he imagines your face, and your smile, and the smell of your hair, and the way you held onto him when you came 2 weeks ago, in the driver’s seat of his truck overlooking the city.

auston shakes his head, he's had too much to drink and needs to go home.

it’s 3 months after the incident at the bar that he sees you again. this time he’s sober, and so are you. you’re coming out of a starbucks with your friend, facing towards her, when a giant body almost runs you over. you almost drop your drink, barely holding onto the freezing cup as some spills out of the lid that wasn't closed tightly enough.

“oh fuck, i’m so sorry,” a familiar voice says frantically. your blood runs cold. fuck. auston. “i’m really sorry, i didn’t mean t-” he stops, freezing when he looks at you. “Y/N?” his mouth is open in shock.

“auston, hi,” you stutter, “hi-i-uh-”

“why didn't you tell me that you're in town again?” he interrupts you. your friend turns to raise her eyebrows at you, as if to say auston matthews is the guy you’ve been hooking up with?! before touching your arm and walking away, leaving the two of you to talk.

“you didn't tell me you were here,” he repeats, his voice falling into the monotone one he uses in interviews. (yes, you watched some of his interviews.)

“i know,” you look up at him shyly, “well, the thing is, i’m actually, like, i’m in town, um, permanently now?” you blurted out. fuck. you should have lied and said you just landed. but now he knows, and there's no going back.

“what?” a hint of hurt slips through his voice. “permanently? you live here now? since when?”

you look away from him. “i- i was offered a job here almost four months ago and i accepted the offer.” you don't see his eyes darken.

“so the last time we were together?” you nod, refusing to look at him. he probably hates you now. and whatever this thing is that you had going on is over. but he reaches out and tilts your head towards him. “you should’ve told me, baby, i’ve wanted to ask you out for 2 years.”

“you what?” you couldn't believe what you were hearing, auston felt the same?

“you heard me, honey,” aus chuckles, he cups your face, his other hand pulling you in by the waist. he presses a sweet kiss to your lips as your free hand comes up to hold his jaw. once again, you can’t help but think that your lips fit. auston breaks away from you, resting his forehead against yours. “what do you say we give this a shot, hm? me ‘n you? for real this time?”

“yeah,” you smile up at him, “yeah, i’d really like that.”

#i just #love him so much #hes such a soft boy #that could also crush me with one hand tbh #auston matthews #auston matthews imagine #auston matthews x reader #maple leafs #maple leafs imagine #toronto maple leafs #toronto maple leafs imagine #auston matthes smut #maple leafs smut #toronto maple leafs smut #nhl #nhl smut #nhl imagine #hockey #hockey imagine #hockey smut

[manako-no-yami]

when your soulmate has too much health insurance

Rating: T Relationship(s): DazAtsu, a bit of sskk Tags: Hospitals, Soulmates, Fluff and Humor, Nursing Student!Atsushi, Dazai-Typical Suicide References Summary:

Atsushi, nursing student at the Yokohama hospital, is having a bad day. A bad few days, actually. In a world where soulmates share each other’s pain, Atsushi has had the bad luck of being paired with someone who is constantly getting hurt. On top of that, he has to deal with one particularly annoying patient—who seems determined to come back to see him at every chance he gets.

for day 8 of @dazaimultishipweek2019​!

-

Atsushi is having a bad day. His side aches like a bitch, he has a headache, he’s barely slept in three days, and all he wants to do is lie down and maybe illegally administer himself some morphine.

He shifts, and his side gives him a sympathy twinge. He sighs.

I wonder if you’re having a bad day, too, he thinks to himself. And why on earth do you keep getting hurt?

Maybe it’s illogical to worry about someone you’ve never met, but, well. Soulmates defy logic, anyway.

Imagine this: the universe gives you one clue to who your “other half” is, and that clue is—of all things—pain . There’s probably some message there about people being brought together over shared suffering, but, well, if that’s so, Atsushi isn’t sure if he wants to know what the universe thinks of humanity.

So he deals with phantom aches and pains that he receives from his soulmate, tries his best not to get hurt himself, and studies hard to get a job in the medical field.

(Maybe it’s illogical. Maybe it’s just the universe’s fucked up sense of irony. But Atsushi can’t help but worry, sometimes, about how often his soulmate seems to get hurt.

And if that’s one of the reasons why he decided to go into medicine, well…who’s going to know?)

“Atsushi!” Yosano-sensei calls. Atsushi quickly stands up from his seat by the nurse’s station, rubbing his eyes to get rid of the drowsiness.

“Yes, sensei?”

“Attend to the patient in room 107.”

Atsushi tilts his head in confusion. He’d been so sure he’d covered all the rooms assigned to him…

He nods, anyway, giving the doctor a quick bow as he passes.

He stops by the door, and gives himself a quick pat down—his scrubs are a bit wrinkled, but they’ll do (they’re dark blue with a repeating pattern of little white tigers running all over it—a welcoming gift from the team when he first started here as a nursing student). Finally, he slaps his cheeks lightly, puts on his best customer service smile—bedside manner is important, after all—and opens the door.

“Hello! How are you doing tod—oh it’s you again.”

The man sitting on the hospital bed gives him a cheerful wave.

Dazai Osamu. Also known as: the hospital’s most frequent client and visitor, a nightmare for insurance, chronic malingerer, professional pain in the ass, and the most annoying patient Atsushi has ever had the misfortune to tend to.

“Atsushi-kun!” Dazai calls out delightedly. “Looking well today, I see.”

Atsushi is quite sure he looks like absolute crap, actually.

“Thanks. So are you. Which begs the question: what are you here for this time?”

Dazai holds up a bandaged arm, and points at it emphatically with a dramatic pout.

Atsushi blinks.

Dazai is always covered in bandages. Just what is he supposed to be looking at?

“Would you believe it? I left the window by the kitchen open, and a stray cat came in! I tried to pet it, but then it scratched me and knocked over the pot that was cooking.”

Atsushi frowns.

“Is the cat okay?”

“Is the—yes, the cat’s okay. But aren’t you worried about me, Atsushi-kun? I am bedridden from this terrible disaster!”

Atsushi hugs his clipboard close, narrowing his eyes at Dazai.

“Dazai-san, with all due respect, this is the fifth time you’ve come in this week, and none of it was for a legitimate reason. I’m surprised they keep letting you occupy beds at this rate.”

And why does Yosano-sensei keep asking me to tend to you? Since when did I become Dazai-san’s designated caretaker??

Dazai gasps. “I’m wounded!”

Atsushi rolls his eyes. “If only. How bad is the burn?”

Dazai shrugs. “I’m not quite sure.”

There’s a pause. Atsushi squints at him again, edging nearer to inspect Dazai more closely. Bandages don’t quite look fresh, so they haven’t been newly dressed, no pinkish or reddish skin, no visible discomfort from chafing...

“Dazai-san…” Atsushi pinches his nose. “Did the pot or its contents actually hit you when it was knocked over?”

Dazai flashes him an absolutely cherubic smile.

“Are you hoping for some grave injury to befall me so you can keep me to yourself longer? How sly of you. Why, Atsushi-kun, if you wanted to spend time with me, you could’ve just said so! By the way, I’m free Friday after five.”

Ah, yes. In addition to being a total pain in the ass, Dazai is also resident hottie and fuckboi. All the nurses like to moon over him, and he’s definitely aware of it. His looks? Sublime. His attitude? Atrocious. His favorite pastime? Teasing Atsushi.

Atsushi sighs. He knows from experience that there’s not much he can do to get Dazai to leave faster—he’ll either cause a dramatic and embarrassing (for Atsushi) scene, or he’ll find a way to get injured and come back before the day is over.

Atsushi’s learned to just ignore him.

It’s not like he’s serious about any of his advances, anyway, he thinks to himself.

“That’s a no, then. I’ll never understand how you even manage to weasel your way into this part of the hospital, Dazai-san.” Atsushi gives him a judging look, hands on his hips, but relents. A job is a job, after all, and Yosano-sensei asked him to attend to the patient in this room, so that’s what he’ll do.

“Is there anything you need, Dazai-san?”

“Coffee, please.”

“The usual?”

“If you could, thank you.”

Just as Atsushi is about to turn and head out the door, he notices something. He leans in, hand reaching up to gently turn Dazai’s jaw to the side. Dazai follows obediently, compliant under gentle fingers, tilting his head when Atsushi pokes his cheek. Atsushi’s eyebrows furrow even further.

Is that blood , dripping from his hairline?

“Dazai-san.” Atsushi straightens. Before he can pull away, Dazai grabs the hand that had been on his cheek with both of his, tugging him back in.

“Yes, Atsushi-kun? What is it?” His eyes sparkle. “Don’t tell me! You can’t bear to leave me alone like this! It hurts you just to see me lying here—”

“ Dazai-san. Do you have a head injury?”

Dazai lets go momentarily to scratch his head, then pulls his hand away to look at the blood that collected under his nails, and blinks.

Atsushi’s headache intensifies.

“Why, it seems I do! Atsushi-kun! How did you know?” He gasps. “Could it be, that we’re connected? Like soulma—”

Atsushi tugs his hand away and is out the door before Dazai can finish, calling out for a doctor.

 -

After the initial panic over Dazai’s now-treated head wound (God knows how long he sported it without noticing ), Atsushi finally manages to find a moment to sit down. And of course, the moment he sits down, he’s called to go check on another patient.

He pauses outside of the door of room 111 and takes a deep breath.

“Hello! How are you tod—” Atsushi gulps.

The man in the bed is glaring balefully at him, as though he’d personally murdered his dog.

“Do you often ask your patients that?”

Atsushi quails under the icy scrutiny, and peeks at the charts in his hands.

Name: Akutagawa Ryuunosuke. With a slew of chronic respiratory problems, he’s just been released from OR after being treated for...a gunshot wound??

“I am in a hospital,” Akutagawa continues. “I was shot. My subordinates didn’t follow my orders. I am apparently being treated by an idiot. I am doing terribly today. Must you ask?”

Atsushi shrinks back.

“M-My apologies...Akutagawa-san.”

“Tch.”

Atsushi felt the disdain behind the force of that ‘tch’ down in his very bones.

“W-When did you sustain your injury?”

Atsushi barely holds back a squeak of fear when Akutagawa pins him with another glare.

“Early this morning, at around three am.”

Huh. That’s weird, that’s around the time Atsushi had woken up, gasping at the sharp eruption of pain in his side. He hadn’t gotten a lick of sleep for the rest of the night, unable to ignore it nor the worry for his soulmate.

...Could it be?

Atsushi gulps.

How...how does he confirm it, though?

“You...you wouldn’t also happen to have a headache, right now, would you?”

“I’m looking at one right now,” Akutagawa spits, staring him right in the eye. Atsushi winces.

Right. Hospital patient. Having a terrible day. A headache is a given under those circumstances, right? Besides, maybe the headache is caused by Atsushi, from acute sleep deprivation. If that’s true, he definitely doesn’t want Akutagawa to know that he’s the reason. If they are...soulmates.

But he can’t bring himself to leave it alone. If this man is his soulmate...he’d never forgive himself if he didn’t find out, and let him go.

“May...May I see your injury?”

Akutagawa is silent. Then with a sigh, he shifts and lifts the blanket, gesturing towards his lower left side.

Exactly the area near where Atsushi’s soulmate pain originates from. What are the chances of two people getting hurt in the exact same area at almost the exact same time?

 Atsushi walks forward, and lifts his hand—only to realize, he’d have to lift Akutagawa’s hospital gown to look at it. Lift it...above the hips. When he may or may not be wearing anything underneath it.

His hands shake. Akutagawa continues to stare balefully at him.

Oh no, he thinks to himself. Oh no.

“I just—”

Atsushi steps away, and decides to just go for it.

“It’s just that I...I um. I’ve been having a sharp pain near that area as well...since early this morning. As well. Like you. I have it. Too. So. I thought. Ah…”

“You think you could be my soulmate.” Akutagawa deadpans.

Atsushi nearly bursts into flame right then and there.

“R-right, well, yes. Yes—that. That’s what I thought. Too.”   

Akutagawa gives him a quick once-over, clear disgust taking over his features.

“Well?”

Atsushi gapes.

“Well, I mean, we could—we could be—!!”

“Soulmates, yes, we’ve established that. What do you want to do about it?”

“Well, I...When people first meet their soulmates, they…”

What do people do when they meet their soulmates?

“They...they go on a date?”

The silence that follows is deafening. Akutagawa looks like he’d rather murder small children than go on a date with Atsushi. Well, actually, he looks like murdering small children would be like a walk in the park for him. He looks like Atsushi had just asked him to cook him dinner and massage his feet, or do whatever else it is that normal, healthy people do instead of murdering small children.

Finally, Akutagawa sighs, and coughs into his hand.

“All right.”

“Wait, really?”

“Must I repeat myself? Yes, really.”

“Okay!” Atsushi flashes him a quick smile, immediately brightening. Finally, they were getting somewhere! “Where would you like to go?”

Akutagawa looks pointedly down at his body, where it lies on the hospital bed.

Oh. Right.

Gunshot wound. Hospital stay.

“We can...wait until you’re discharged?”

“No. Let’s get this over with.”

Well, that doesn’t leave them with many options.

“Oh...well. I can take my break soon. And I guess we could...go down...to the cafeteria? Grab some coffee?”

Akutagawa closes his eyes and sighs.

“Fine.”

“Great!”

 -

Atsushi closes the door behind him, and heaves a sigh of relief.

“Ah, Atsushi-kun!” Dazai greets. Atsushi jumps, hand flying to his chest.

“Dazai-san! Don’t scare me like that.”

Dazai leans against the wall by room 111, fresh bandages wrapped around his head, covering his right eye.

“I just wanted to see you,” Dazai says.

“Well,” Atsushi gestures to himself, “now you’ve seen me.”

Dazai tilts his head until it rests on the wall.

“And you’re a sight for sore eyes,” Dazai responds with a grin. “Or eye, in this case.”

Atsushi sighs, and elects to ignore his comment.

“Have you been discharged? Or are you staying overnight for monitoring?”

Dazai gives him a wink. (It doesn’t work. Only one eye is visible.)

“I’ll be staying overnight in case of further complications. You have another shift tomorrow, right, Atsushi-kun?”

“Dazai-san...how did you know that.”

Dazai perks up at that.

“We’ll be seeing each other again, then!” He seems very happy with this conclusion.

Atsushi sighs.

“So? What are you doing here?”

“Ah, I was looking for the toilet!”

...Suspicious.

“I’d think you’ve been here enough times to know where the toilet is, Dazai-san. It’s in the opposite direction, down that hallway over there.”

Dazai crosses his arms in front of his chest, hunching over, as though feeling...self-conscious?

“Ah, you got me. I was actually looking for you because I wanted to ask you a question.”

Atsushi is caught a bit off guard. No “Ah, but your blinding brilliance must have made me stray off my course!” or “But how could I remember something as mundane as where the toilet is when my mind is filled with only the beautiful color of your eyes?” or some other ridiculous, Dazai-typical statement?

Atsushi eyes him warily.

“Oh. What is it?”

“Your break is soon, right?”

“...Yes? How did you—”

“Would you,” Dazai steps closer, so that there’s only a few inches of space between them, “like to come with me somewhere?”

Atsushi hesitates, feeling uncomfortable, and shrinks back.

“Dazai-san...don’t you think this joke has gone on long enough?”

A beat of silence.

“What joke, Atsushi-kun?”

Atsushi’s heart thuds.

What a good liar, he thinks. He almost seems sincere.

“W-Well, either way, I already have plans. Sorry.”

Dazai studies him for a moment before his eyes flick to the door behind him. An unreadable expression crosses his face.

He takes a step back. Something in Atsushi clenches as the space between them widens.

“Well, that’s too bad,” Dazai says agreeably. “Rain check?”

Atsushi bites his lip. Dazai’s eyes flicker down to watch.

Really, Atsushi thinks to himself, this man is too good-looking for his own good.

“...You should really get going, Dazai-san. It’s not good to linger in the halls, especially when there may still be complications with your head wound.”

Dazai almost looks disappointed.

“Well then. See you, Atsushi-kun!”

“Bye.”

Atsushi lets out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. With yet another sigh, he heads back to the nurse’s station.

 -

“So…” Atsushi begins, as he pushes Akutagawa’s wheelchair down the corridor.

It’s time.

Atsushi’s on his break, and he’s pushing Akutagawa in a wheelchair. They’re on a ‘date’.

A date to the shitty hospital cafeteria, to get the same kind of shitty hospital coffee he could make at the machines by the nurses station, but a date nevertheless.

The elevator door dings behind them and slides closed.

Silence reigns supreme.

Atsushi gulps, and tries again.

“So...how’d you get shot?”

Akutagawa doesn’t even look at him in acknowledgement.

Atsushi winces. Sore topic, maybe?

Stupid! Of course he doesn’t want to talk about how he got shot, what kind of opening line is that?

Atsushi continues to sweat as the silence stretches onwards. What do people talk about on dates again? Oh yeah, that’s right, he’s never been on one , so he has no idea. Who does he know that might be good at this?

Immediately, Dazai’s face flashes in mind, and he flushes.

No. Nope. Don’t think about it, Atsushi.

Dazai’s method of flirting definitely won’t work if Atsushi tried it. In the first place, it only works because Dazai has the advantage of being ridiculously attractive.

Why couldn’t the elevator go faster? Why couldn’t it just drop them to their imminent deaths? Why must he suffer like this?

The elevator dings on the ground floor, and Atsushi takes a right towards the cafeteria.

They find an empty table to sit at.

They sit.

...and continue to sit.

Atsushi could die from the sheer awkwardness of this encounter. Never in his life has he been more uncomfortable. What’s more, Akutagawa looks like he couldn’t give a damn, content with continuing to attempt homicide through his eyes alone.

“WellthenI’llgogetsomecoffeehahaI’llbebackbye!”

He makes his escape as quickly as possible, spends as much time dawdling by the coffee machines as possible, and drags his feet the entire way back.

Is this some kind of joke? He asks the universe. This is the furthest thing from a perfect match I’ve ever seen.

He dreads going back, but eventually he catches sight of Akutagawa again, and sits down in his seat, passing the drink back over to him.

Akutagawa takes a sip.

“It’s cold.”

“Oh, well...yes.”

“And sweet.”

“...would you like me to grab you another?”

Please say yes.

Anything to escape this sheer discomfort.

Akutagawa doesn’t reply, and just continues to sip at his coffee with a frown.

“Why would you make a cold coffee?”

“Ah, that’s…”

Atsushi flushes in abject horror.

That would be...because of Dazai.

Without realizing it, he’d instinctively gotten Dazai’s usual order. Cold coffee, but with no ice. Extra milk, and double the sugar. Decaf.

For himself, he’d gotten a regular old medium roast straight from the machine.

Gosh, what had he been thinking? He should’ve asked Akutagawa what he wanted, but he’d been in such a hurry to leave… A part of him must’ve just, instinctively…

“...Sorry,” he finishes lamely.

Akutagawa just closes his eyes and crosses his arms, as though he’d already accepted that Atsushi is a total idiot, and there’s nothing he can do about it.

Atsushi squeezes his hands together, his nerves skyrocketing as the silence stretches.

Something to talk about...something...anything…

“Ah, what do you do for a living, Akutagawa-san?”

Akutagawa snaps his eyes open and stares at him with a startlingly intense look.

“Why do you want to know?”

Atsushi pales. Another sore topic?

“Ah,” he flounders, “I’m sure that whatever it is, it must be more exciting than my job, haha! Not that working at a hospital is boring, of course, and not that I don’t like my job, I love my job! Even though the hours on top of school is a lot and I’m always tired and I don’t sleep well because my soulm—” He gulps.

“—ah, but that’s not interesting! I’m sure you’d like to hear about something else, something interesting, uhm, like, uh…”

Akutagawa, if anything, looks increasingly unimpressed.

“...Did you know that we have a regular?”

Akutagawa’s face finally changes from complete boredom to something like resignation.

“A...regular?”

“It sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? Because it is! We have a regular!” Immediately, Atsushi gets fired up, seizing upon the easy topic of conversation.

“A regular patient who comes in every other day, whining about some minor injury or another, while completely neglecting to mention the important things!”

Akutagawa raises an eyebrow, and slurps his coffee.

“Furthermore, he keeps tormenting me, and I don’t know why! It’s like he specifically has it out for me and for whatever reason, I’m always assigned to his room! If I didn’t know better I’d think Yosano-sensei and he were in cahoots!” Atsushi slowly grows more and more heated, gesticulating with his hands as he rants on and on.

“You know, just this morning he came in for a fake injury and then neglected to mention he had a head wound ? Last week he came in for a ‘terrible chest pain’—which was also fake, by the way—while walking around on a twisted ankle! And he told no one! All he said was ‘Oh, Atsushi-kun, this pain must be from my broken heart, please, only you and your gentle radiance can possibly cure me!’ Everyone laughed at me! He’s infuriating ! And did I mention that he targets me especially? Because he does! He keeps making fun of me, and thinks I don’t know what he’s doing! I swear, the guy is an annoyance and a complete waste of all of our time. The next time Yosano-sensei asks me to attend to Dazai-san I’m going to say—”  

Akutagawa stands abruptly, nearly knocking his coffee over, and then doubles over, clutching his side.

“Akutagawa-san?! Akutagawa-san, what are you doing?! You can’t be getting out of your wheelchair—it’s dangerous! Sit back down!”

Atsushi rushes over to press him back into the chair.

“ You. ”

Atsushi freezes at the pure vehemence in his voice.

“You...you just said… ‘Dazai-san’, didn’t you.”

“I...yes. Do you...know him?”

Oh god, does Akutagawa have some kind of grudge against Dazai? Atsushi wouldn’t put it past Dazai to have gained a number of mortal enemies, given how infuriating he can be.

“You...just said Dazai-san is an annoyance and a complete waste of time .”

A prickle of shame makes its way down Atsushi’s arms. His cheeks must be in flame right now, and he has the urge to look around and hide.

Akutagawa growls.

“You. You know— nothing . Nothing about Dazai-san—about— ”

He doubles over, coughing.

“Akutagawa-san! Please, calm down, this isn’t good for your hea—”

Akutagawa slaps Atsushi’s hand away.

“Dazai-san...Dazai-san is…”

He never finishes his sentence, but the look of desperation that comes into his eyes is answer enough. He pants, wincing and gripping his side.

“Dazai-san is a thousand times more than whatever you could hope to be in your entire lifetime. He is—Dazai-san is—You know nothing .” Akutagawa repeats.

...That’s true, isn’t it.

Atsushi...what does he really know about Dazai?

Nothing.

“You—you have what I would kill for. What I would die for. And you’re throwing it away? Treating it like trash? Calling it an annoyance and a complete waste of time ?”

That... had been rather harsh, hadn’t it? But—but after all the teasing he’s had to endure because of Dazai-san—after all the beatings his self-esteem has gone through, knowing that Dazai-san couldn’t possibly be serious—after everything—    

“I—”

He has no words to say.

The cruel one isn’t Atsushi. It’s Dazai, for knowing what effect he has on people, and using it to make fun of weak people like Atsushi.

Right?

Akutagawa scoffs.

“We’re done here.”

Atsushi gapes.

“W-wait, but…”

“My soulmate would never speak such a way about Dazai-san. We’re done here. Take me back to my room.”

 -

After the disastrous date, Atsushi is back at the nurse’s station, when Yosano-sensei calls upon him again.

"Atsushi," Yosano says. "Room 107."

Atsushi knows who's in that room. He gulps.

When he pushes open the door, Dazai is looking out the window, unusually quiet.

"Atsushi-kun," he says. Strangely enough, Dazai doesn’t look over at him. He seems...subdued.

"...Dazai-san." He nearly chokes on the name, the syllables like ash in his mouth, his guts roiling with nerves. He feels irrationally paranoid, like Dazai could take one look at him and know about all the bad things he’d said about him in a fit of nerves and frustration. The conversation with Akutagawa ricochets inside his head.

You know nothing.

Dazai-san is a thousand times more than whatever you could hope to become in your entire lifetime.

"Have you come to relieve me of this tiresome, banal world?” Dazai finally turns to look at him through his one eye. Atsushi, inexplicably, feels a shiver run down his back.

He hands him a cup of water, in lieu of a reply.

“No coffee this time?”

“Water is good for you.” Atsushi doesn’t really want to make more coffee right now.

Atsushi hesitates, hovering. Dazai isn’t acting like he normally does and Atsushi finds that he...misses it. He doesn’t know what to do with this strange, quiet Dazai. Without him to fill the silence, Atsushi feels as though something heavy were weighing him down. Like something’s missing. He fidgets a bit more, then bites his lip.

But does he have the right to ask, when he so clearly knows nothing about Dazai? When he’d bad-mouthed him less than an hour earlier? When he’s just a random nobody in Dazai’s life?

He’s just a nursing student at the hospital Dazai frequents. Just a bystander that Dazai sometimes gives attention to out of amusement. What right does he have to ask him what’s wrong?

And yet, despite all that, he finds himself opening his mouth to speak.

“Dazai-san...what do you do for a living?”

Dazai looks up in surprise.

“I work as a private detective,” he answers with a smile.

“A private detective, huh… Well that explains the number of injuries, I guess,” Atsushi says with a small laugh, scratching his cheek.

Dazai leans his cheek upon his hand and gazes at Atsushi through his bangs.

“What’s with this sudden interest in my life, Atsushi-kun? Wondering if I’m single? Want to know about my past lovers?”

Atsushi rolls his eyes and resists the urge to smack him with his clipboard.

“No just...wondering.”

“Wondering…what?” Dazai leans forward eagerly, eyes twinkling.

Atsushi knows he's flirting again. His first instinct is to recoil and blow him off, but Akutagawa's words float into his mind.

He thinks about everything that Dazai has said and done to him, about the weeks and weeks of taking care of him and putting up with his wild antics...and realizes something.

“Wondering...why you almost never have any visitors.”

The only visitor Atsushi has ever seen is an angry, blond, be-spectacled man who, judging from his yelling, is a coworker. But even he is a rare sighting. Most of the time Dazai comes and goes, with no one but Atsushi and the other nurses and doctors to notice his passing through.

Atsushi had always assumed it had just been because Dazai gets injured so often that people have stopped coming by to check on him but...even that is sad.

“Ah,” Dazai puts on a cheerful facade, but his tone is bland. “Well, I do have an adoptive father, but we’re not on speaking terms.”

...Is that all?

Even Atsushi, an orphan, has a few friends that would come see him if he were ever hospitalized.

And Dazai is constantly hospitalized.

“So...you never knew your real parents?”

“Yup! Though I never really wondered about them, anyway.”

Atsushi wishes he could say the same. He shuffles his feet, pushing back memories of crying behind the orphanage garden, beneath the covers, in the library, always wondering why he didn’t deserve parents like other children.

“Does that mean that...at one point, you and your father were close, then?”

“Oh, absolutely not. Mori-san was...well.” Dazai turns to look out the window again, and his hand comes up to brush at the bandages that cover his eye. “Mori-san had certain...expectations. It’s why we don’t speak anymore.”

That sounds so...cold. And lonely.

Both of which are feelings Atsushi is not unfamiliar with—and that’s why it’s so distressing to him.

“I...I never knew my parents either.”

Dazai hums, and cocks his head in interest. Atsushi looks away, unable to meet his eyes. With no small surprise, he finds himself speaking up again.

“I...was an orphan. Grew up at an orphanage. It was...well. The director there also had...expectations, of a sort.”

He expected Atsushi would fail at everything he ever did, and would wind up as the trash of society. A burden. Useless.

“Did you fulfill them?” Dazai’s eyes are strangely knowing. Usually that would make Atsushi feel uncomfortable, or wary. But somehow, he feels...calm. Maybe he just got used to Dazai’s presence after seeing him so often, and he's mistaken the familiarity as a sense of security and trust. Maybe hearing that they have something in common made Atsushi lower his guard.

Or maybe there’s just something about Dazai that makes Atsushi want to be known.

Atsushi clutches at his clipboard, fingers turning white.

“I...maybe. I don’t know.”

Dazai reaches up to press his fingers into his bandages again.

“I fulfilled Mori-san’s expectations rather easily. Too easily, I think. But in the end, I decided not to be the person he wanted me to be. Even if, maybe, that was who I was born to be.”

Atsushi finds that he would do anything to erase the carefully controlled, fragile expression on Dazai’s face.

He finds that he wants to know. Know more, about Dazai. About everything.

“Why didn’t you want to be that person?”

Their lives may have begun similarly, and yet...they are so different. Atsushi would’ve done anything, at that time, to earn the director’s approval. Now, he wonders why.

Dazai smiles, nails digging into the bandages on his head.

“A friend told me I could be better.”

Atsushi wonders what happened to that friend, for Dazai to make such a pained expression, and for Dazai’s bedside chair to always remain empty. He knows, instinctively, not to ask.

“Are those bothering you?” Atsushi asks, indicating the bandages.

“Ah, no,” Dazai pulls his hand away, “It’s fine.”

Atsushi frowns.

“I can redo them for you, if you’d like.”

Dazai pauses, an unreadable look crossing his face.

“...If you could, then.”

It’s strangely intimate. The way the bandages unravel and collect in a bundle on the blankets. The way Atsushi brushes aside his hair, or brushes past his ear, his skin. The slow reveal of Dazai’s features. The moment when the bandages come off and Dazai gazes, with both eyes, straight at Atsushi, who is nearly cradling his face.

Atsushi grabs new bandages and re-wraps his head, this time leaving his eye clear.

“Not too tight?”

Dazai shakes his head lightly.

“Perfect.”

Atsushi gives himself a mental pat on the back.

“I’m not sure why they decided to cover your eye, anyway. Maybe they thought putting more bandages on would keep you from hurting yourself again.” Atsushi jokes.

“...Thank you. Really.”

Dazai is already looking more like his normal self, color returning to his face, his cheeks lifting lightly and eyes squinting at the corners. It's as though the bandages had, before, turned him into a lost child.

“It’s no big deal, really.” Atsushi assures him. “Were they bothering you that much?”

Dazai’s expression slips a little.

“Yes, they were.”

The sun is beginning to set outside the window now, light filtering through the sheer curtains.

“They reminded me of...a younger me.”

Atsushi doesn’t quite understand, but he thinks he can fill in between the lines.

“You’re...I’m sure you’re not the person your father made you into, Dazai-san.”

Dazai looks up at him.

“And how would you know that, Atsushi-kun?”

Atsushi finds that his voice comes out stronger and clearer than he ever knew it could be.

“I think, if you were who your father thought you were, your friend wouldn’t have advised you differently. He was an important friend, right? He must’ve known you better than your father, who didn’t see who you were, but only who he wanted you to be. I won’t lie, you’re a rather annoying person, Dazai-san, but I think...you aren’t a bad one. So I think, you don’t need to be afraid of becoming whatever it is you are afraid of becoming. Because Dazai-san is a good person, so no matter whatever else you are, that’s what’s most important.”

Dazai stares at him, mouth slightly parted.

After another pause, Atsushi’s brain finally catches up with his mouth, and he pinks.

“I’m so sorry! I stepped out of line, that was rude of me. I’ll. I’ll just be going now… S-See you tomorrow, Dazai-san…”

He rushes out the door, and slams it closed behind him, leaning against it with one hand on his beating chest and the other pressed against his hot cheeks.

I can’t believe I just did that! Bad Atsushi! Bad Atsushi!

Dazai watches him go, silhouette framed by the dying light of the sun. He looks down at his hands, which are curled around the old bandages.

“Oh, Atsushi-kun,” he murmurs, “you’re really too much for me.”

 Atsushi groans as he finally lies down in his bed, feeling the way his spine stretches out.

It’d definitely been a long, long day. He congratulates himself for getting through it alive and arguably in one piece.

Some of it definitely could have gone better, Atsushi thinks, as he stares up at the ceiling, chewing his lip.

There’s no two ways about it. The date with Akutagawa had been terrible. They barely talked, and if possible, left on worse terms than they’d started.

And they’d started on awful terms.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe Akutagawa��s injury was just a coincidence.

Secretly, he hoped so. Akutagawa seemed like an unpleasant person and not at all like someone Atsushi would want to spend the rest of his life with. Either the universe had made some kind of mistake, or Atsushi did, and the latter is much more likely.

What was he going to do if he does turn out to be his soulmate though? How does he mend that bridge when he’d so obviously offended Akutagawa?

My soulmate would never speak such a way about Dazai-san.

And anyway, what was it about Dazai that had Akutagawa so angry and...obsessed?

Atsushi thinks about the delicate features of Dazai’s face. The slender yet sharp jaw, aristocratic nose, glimmering, deep brown eyes. His porcelain skin, the wicked curve to his lips, the soft angle of his cheekbones. His deft, clever hands. The way he glides when he walks. His soft, messy hair, which glows russet in the right lighting. The fact that he always smells good.

Okay, so maybe there was a lot to Dazai that could be obsessed over. But that’s all just physical stuff! Not important!

And then he thinks about Dazai bursting in on the scene with some ridiculous excuse in the middle of a boring work day. Dazai showering him with extravagant compliments and (albeit unwanted) attention. Dazai smiling at him even after Atsushi brushes him off.

Dazai’s fragile expression when he talked about his adoptive father. His solemnity when he talked about a dear friend who’d passed away. The way he always listened to everything Atsushi had to say, even if he tends to choose to ignore the complaints, the way he hadn’t pitied Atsushi the moment Atsushi had told him his story.

Atsushi thinks that now he may understand, just a little, the desperate look that had been in Akutagawa’s eyes.

Even without comparing him to Atsushi, there were possibly a few, or possibly a lot, of things about Dazai to be desperate over.

Wouldn’t be nice, he thinks to himself, if Dazai were my soulmate, instead of Akutagawa?

When he realizes where his train of thought had lead, he immediately groans and buries his face in his hands.

Why? Why, brain? Why would you take that train of thought in that direction? Why would you even think—

Atsushi freezes.

Oh.

Oh, no.

Oh god, do I like him? No, no, no, no… You promised yourself not to let that happen! It’s not possible! No!

  ...Okay.

So maybe he’s grown a bit fond of Dazai’s antics, and maybe he worries about how good Dazai is at hiding his real injuries.

Maybe he isn’t as immune to Dazai’s charms as he acts.

But, it’s impossible. There’s no way. None of that has to mean he has a crush on Dazai. It doesn’t! Him with Dazai-san? Dazai-san with him ? That would never work. It’s best to shut it down before he can begin to hope, and save himself the heartbreak.

He curls up on his side, mind whirling.

He needs to sleep. He has morning classes, three exams coming up, and he agreed to cover someone else’s shifts at the hospital, to boot.

Atsushi’s exhausted. He wasn’t built for this kind of stress and drama.

His side suddenly erupts in pain, and Atsushi gasps.

“Just what are you getting yourself into?” He asks the empty air, knowing he’ll get no response.

At this rate, his soulmate is going to die before they ever get to meet.

Assuming that it isn’t Akutagawa, at least.

“You need to take better care of yourself,” he whispers. His side continues to radiate pain, as if in direct response to his words.

Atsushi sighs, and prepares for another sleepless night.

 -

Atsushi didn't get another wink of sleep that night.

“Here’s the juice you asked for,” he says quietly, handing it over to Akutagawa.

That’s right.

Akutagawa is staying at the hospital for the time being, and due to where he’s located in the hospital, Atsushi is still tending to him.

Talk about awkward.

Atsushi sighs, feeling heavy from exhaustion. He can't even muster the energy to feel alarmed by the stink eye Akutagawa gives him.

“Did you...sleep okay, last night?”

He thinks about the sharp pain that he’d experienced, that had kept him awake even when he'd been in tears, praying for sleep.

Akutagawa takes the juice without a word, and haughtily turns his face away, with his eyes closed, as though being forced to even look at Atsushi was a personal affront to his very being.

“I slept fine. They administered painkillers, so I felt nothing.”

“Ah, that’s good…”

Silence.

“...Let me or one of the other nurses know if you need anything else…”

He runs out as quickly as he can.

As he goes, Akutagawa’s words catch up to him.

Wait...he didn’t feel any pain last night? Then does that mean…

Was it really a mistake after all?

 -

“Sooo, Atsushi,” Naomi kicks the ground and rolls her swivel chair over so she can lean closer to Atsushi’s ear. “How’d the date yesterday go?”

Atsushi winces. “It went...okay, I guess.”

“Hmm, really?”

Atsushi groans and covers his face.

“Who am I kidding, it went terribly .”

“Aw, what? I thought you said he could be your soulmate!”

Atsushi mentally scolds himself for telling her that.

“That’s...I’m not so sure anymore. I kind of...hope he isn’t. I can’t imagine living my life with someone like that… He acts like he can’t even stand to look at me.”

“Didn’t you just go in to check on him?”

“Yes, and it was extremely awkward!”

Naomi laughs.

“Oh, come on, it can’t have been that bad.”

Atsushi blows a piece of hair out of his face. “It was. You have no idea.”

He pauses for a moment, then looks at Naomi consideringly.

“Naomi-san…”

“No,” Naomi says, without pause.

“Naomi-san...please? Please, can you take over for just his room? Just until he’s discharged? Every time he speaks I get scared for my life, Naomi-san. I’m serious!”

Atsushi whines as Naomi laughs at him.

“Naomi-san, this is serious! If I have to tend to him any longer I think I’ll die! He hates me! So much! You have no idea .”

“All right, all right. But you have to tell me more about the details of your date later, okay, Atsushi?”

Atsushi groans.

He does not want to relive that experience. But if it means he can avoid Akutagawa for the rest of his stay...

“Fine. Deal.”

Naomi glances over at him slyly, and leans against the desk.

“I kinda feel bad for the dude though. He never really had a chance, given that you’re...biased. Don’t you think?”

Atsushi cocks his head to the side.

“Biased about what, Naomi-san?”

“Well… You know.”

Atsushi blinks at her. “What do I know?”

Naomi stares at him. “Seriously? Isn’t it obvious?”

“Isn’t what obvious?”

Naomi groans. “Oh my god you’re hopeless.”

“Fine then. Don’t tell me.” Atsushi pouts.

Naomi heaves a sigh and holds back a groan. “Dazai, silly.”

Atsushi frowns. Why is everyone constantly bringing him up?

“Dazai-san? What about him?”

Naomi rolls her eyes. “I’ll admit, you’re good at pretending, but you can’t hide from me. I know you like him, Atsushi.”

Atsushi gapes at her, then flushes up to his ears.

“I—I do not!”

A distant figure rounds a corner, and begins to walk down the hallway adjacent to them.

Naomi giggles at him.

“Oh, look at you, you’re so cute. Stay in denial if you want, then. It’s funny.”

“I’m not in denial!”

“If you say so.”

“I do say so!”

Their voices echo.

“All right then, Atsushi.” She winks at him.

Atsushi’s still blushing, looking anywhere but Naomi.

“W-Who would like someone like Dazai-san, anyway? He’s over-the-top and a flirt! He’s constantly harassing me, doesn’t take no for an answer, and in general is just—a nuisance! I don’t like him. I don’t!”

Something uncomfortable grows in his stomach as the words come out of his mouth. He thinks about bandages falling away, two eyes pinning him with an earnest gaze, a fragile smile.

He doesn’t notice Dazai standing, frozen, just around the corner of the hallway.

“You talk about him a lot for someone who doesn’t like him, though.”

“That’s—! That’s because he’s—he’s insufferable! I really just wish he’d leave me alone.”

Dazai clenches his hand into a fist, staring at his shoes.

Naomi looks at Atsushi with pity.

“Is that how you really feel?”

Atsushi looks away, fiddling with his fingers. He tries to imagine coming to work and never seeing Dazai again. Never dealing with his shenanigans, never hearing his voice, never again being able to know how he’s doing and whether or not he’s recovering from his latest injury.

No, he thinks to himself. No, it isn’t.

“...Yes.” he says, instead.

Naomi gives a skeptical hum, but pushes herself away from the desk and returns to her own work.

“Okay, okay. I’ll drop it. For now.”

Atsushi slumps into his chair. “Thank you.”

Unbeknownst to them, Dazai turns and walks away. His expression is blank, wiped clean.

“Okay then, Atsushi-kun,” he whispers to himself. “If that’s what you want.”

 -

Atsushi is on the computer, trying to ignore the continuing pain in his side and looking up a patient’s room number so he can redirect a small family of three, when he hears it.

Dazai’s voice, laughing merrily from somewhere down the hallway.

“That’ll be on the third floor, room 317,” he says with a smile, accepting their thanks with grace.

After they leave, he waits.

And waits.

 Strangely enough, Dazai doesn’t head towards the nurse’s station looking for him. No one calls him over specifically to tend to him. Occasionally, he thinks he catches the sound of Dazai’s voice as he rounds a corner, but he isn’t bothered or harassed like he usually is. Not even once.

As the hour goes on, Atsushi gets more and more uncomfortable.

Why is he making a big deal out of this? This is what he wanted right? For Dazai to leave him alone, so he can finally get over his stupid crush? To stop having his feelings played with?

He opens the cabinet where they store extra blankets, and frowns.

He’s tired. It’s nearing the fourth day he’s gotten little to no sleep. He’s ready to pass out, but he can’t. He has things to do, and whatever injury it is that his soulmate has, has apparently not been healed yet, because he can still feel it. A dull, throbbing, constant pain.

At this point, he’s relatively certain it isn’t Akutagawa. Naomi administered more painkillers at his behest, and yet the pain in Atsushi’s side has yet to abide.

Meaning that entire ordeal was completely pointless, unless the goal was to shoot Atsushi’s anxiety even higher than it already is.

He tugs at one of the blankets, standing on his tiptoes to reach. The door next to the cabinets opens. Atsushi turns to look, and freezes.

It’s Dazai, and another nurse, Sasaki-san.

Sasaki giggles, hand daintily going up to her mouth, and Dazai leans closer to whisper in her ear. His right arm is in a cast.

She’s really pretty, Atsushi thinks. They look good together.

“I’m free Friday after five,” Dazai says with a quirk of his lips.

“Oh, that’s perfect,” Sasaki says, “I get off my shift right around then.”

Dazai turns, and meets Atsushi’s wide-eyed gaze.

Atsushi feels sick.

“Oh, Atsushi-kun,” Sasaki says, before pausing. “Atsushi-kun, is everything all right?”

To his horror, he realizes he’s about to cry.

“Oh, I—I, yes—”

He stumbles back, but in his hurry, he tugs at the blankets too harshly and brings them tumbling down on his head.

He stands there, blankets draped over him and strewn across the floor, and thinks to himself, Could you be any more pathetic?

“I—sorry, I just, was grabbing some blankets…” He kneels down, carefully hiding his face, and begins picking them up and re-folding them.

He’s hastily wiping at his eyes when he realizes someone has knelt down to help him.

“No, it’s okay, I can—” Atsushi looks up.

“D-Dazai-san,” he squeaks in surprise. What is he doing?

“Dazai-san, stop. You have a broken arm.”

Dazai gives him a wink.

“Oh this? This is nothing. At least, it’s nothing compared to the pain of seeing a beautiful creature such as yourself in distress.”

Atsushi can’t help but sniffle, face screwing up.

Typical Dazai. Being kind, yet cruel, all at once.

He takes a deep breath and mentally steels himself.

“Dazai-san, really, I’m fine. And you can’t do much with one arm in a cast like that, anyway.”

He reaches out, meaning to help Dazai stand up, hand braced under Dazai’s elbow.

“Atsushi-kun, wait—”

Atsushi lands with a thwump back on his butt.

He stares down at the cast in his hand, then looks at the empty space where the rest of Dazai’s arm is supposed to be.

And screams.

 -

“I’m sorry! I’m really sorry!”

“I can’t believe you! You faked another injury?! To do what? To flirt with the nurses? What is wrong with you?!”

“Well I didn’t think you’d grab someone by their broken arm…”

“So this is my fault? Is that what you’re saying? Get out.”

“Wait, but—”

“You don’t actually have any pressing injuries, right? That means you can’t be here. Get out.”

“Wait, Atsushi-kun, I said I’m sorry—”  

Atsushi is livid.

After tugging off Dazai’s fake cast and nearly having a heart attack, thinking he’d pulled someone’s arm off, Dazai revealed the rest of his arm, which he’d tucked up in his sleeve, and admitted that it was “just a prank”.

He’s had—

“Enough. I’ve had enough. If you don’t get out, now, I’m calling security.”

“I can explain—”

Atsushi turns and begins to stomp down the hallway.

“Wait, Atsushi—”

A hand grabs him by the elbow and he whirls, ready to yell again, when he stumbles off-balance and bangs his other elbow on the wall.

“Ow!”

“Ow.”

Atsushi opens his mouth, then pauses.

  That second “ow”? That hadn’t come from Atsushi.

Dazai and he stare at each other. Slowly, the pieces click together.

But—how can he be sure? What if—what if this is another prank?

...There’s only one way to find out.

Atsushi lifts a trembling hand—

“Atsushi-ku—”

—and does what he’s been aching to do for weeks now.

He slaps Dazai Osamu right across his pretty face.

Dazai stares at him, open-mouthed, hand reaching up to rub at his cheek.

Atsushi blinks right back at him in disbelief and lifts his own hand up to his own face, feeling where the echo of the force of his own slap radiates from.

He felt that.

He’d slapped Dazai, and in that very same moment, felt that very same pain on his own face.

“Oh my god.”

This can’t be real.

He lifts his hand again, and Dazai backs up.

He needs to check. Just one more time. To make sure.

“W-Wait, Atsushi-kun, I really don’t think that’s necessary—”

“It is.”

“There must be some other way—”

Atsushi pauses for a moment, thinking.

If they’re soulmates, and they share each other’s pain, then that means…

He narrows his eyes.

“Dazai-san.”

Dazai gulps.

“Oh, would you look at the time!” Dazai flashes him a fake smile and looks at his bare, watch-less wrist. “Wouldn’t want you to call security on me! I’ll just be going then, haha—”

“ Dazai-san. ” Atsushi’s suspicions have been all but confirmed. “Take off your clothes. Now.”

“I don’t really think that’s appropriate, Atsushi-kun—”

Atsushi stomps forward, and Dazai continues to back up, holding his hands up in a placating manner.

“Now, now, Atsushi-kun, we can talk about this—”

“Take off your clothes! Now!”

Dazai breaks into a flat out run, with Atsushi chasing after him.

“Get back here!”

True to his expectations, as Dazai runs, the pain in Atsushi’s side flares.

They skid to a stop at the end of the next hallway, panting, both of them clutching their sides.

Atsushi pushes Dazai up against the wall, tugging at his shirt.

“Atsushi-kun I think we’re moving a little too fast don’t you think—”

Atsushi pauses, and glares at Dazai’s bare stomach.

“Dazai-san. What is that.”

Dazai gulps.

“...Nothing.”

“I’ve been feeling it for two days, it isn’t nothing .”

“...may have run into a knife.” Dazai mumbles.

“You got STABBED?!” Atsushi screeches.

“If anything, it’s the knife’s fault.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that it’s completely your fault for making someone want to stab you. What I want to know is why you felt the need to fake a broken arm to get in here when you’ve already been stabbed. ”

“It’s not even that bad—”

Atsushi screeches again, and grabs Dazai by his arm, dragging him back the way they came.

“That’s it, I’m bringing you to Yosano-sensei.”

Dazai suddenly stops, clinging onto Atsushi’s arm and dragging his feet.

“But I can only be healed by the gentle touch of your love!”

“Oh, stop that. Don’t be ungrateful. Though her methods of practice are...unique... Yosano-sensei has a very high success rate!”

“But I’d really much rather stay by your side—”

“You’re not getting out of this one, Dazai-san.”

Dazai grows more desperate, recalling all the rumors he’d heard about Yosano’s “treatment” and his past luck in dodging it.

“But you’ll have to suffer with me!”

“Gladly.”

They jerk to a stop.

Atsushi huffs in annoyance, ready to ask “What is it now”, when Dazai interrupts him.

“Even if I’m a compulsive liar with trust issues who sometimes can’t bring himself to get out of bed in the morning?”

Atsushi is taken aback.

“W-what?”

“Would you gladly suffer with me even though I’m annoying and I don’t know how much is too much and I embarrass you in front of everybody?”

Atsushi gapes at him, mouth opening and closing silently.

“I—”

He looks away, and tightens his grip on Dazai’s arm.

“...Yes. Even then. You’re my... soulmate, after all. But…”

Dazai watches him, studying his features in the fluorescent lighting.

“But?”

“...But even if you weren’t. I wouldn’t... couldn’t just leave you to suffer alone.”

The beginnings of a delighted grin begin to creep up onto Dazai’s face.

“You like me. You actually like me.”

“Don’t push it.”

The grin continues to grow as Atsushi begins to squirm uncomfortably.

“...Okay fine! Maybe I do like you. A little. But we really need to get that stab wound looked at so let’s just...get going, already.”

He blushes.

“Okay,” Dazai sing-songs.

Atsushi sighs, feeling the waves of exhaustion crashing over him.

“What am I going to do with you?”

“Well,” Dazai says, walking next to him amiably now, “I’m free Friday after five.”

Something warm pools in Atsushi’s gut, and a small smile sneaks its way onto his face.

“That works just fine for me.”

#dazaishipweek19 #dazatsu #bsd #dazai osamu #nakajima atsushi #akutagawa ryuunosuke #fanfic #fic #ficlet #drabble #clod not lefting but #and thats a wrap! #thats it folks for this week #im sad :( #sighs #o well #hopefully the next time i write smth will be sooooooon