#like i dont give a shit about chris rock

[irrationallydependent]

#idk who im posting this for #myself? #is this technically rpf??? #like i dont give a shit about chris rock #but i love this show #and i think theyre dumb and silly #and on a scale of one to cringe how bad is it that im posting fanart for a sitcom from the 2000s #well either way #holy shit they dont have a ship name #crazy #crazy? i was crazy once #anyway #everybody hates chris #chris x greg #i hope that only applies to them #fanart #ehc fanart #queer #my art

[kubrik-was-a-c-nt]

Finally watching Spiral! Considering I spend a lot of time thinking about the Saw series I should have watched this a long time ago.

Onto reactions!

Ew, the two things I hate most: sewers, and public port-a-potties. I loath using port-a-potties.

Oooh, updated realistic pig mask! I like!

Ah, the tongue trap I've seen in so many thumbnails. It's even worse when you see hes hanging by his tongue over some kind of flimsy little stool.

Going back to the old box TVs? Must have raided a goodwill.

New voice sounds weird, not sure if I'm okay with it. You'll see.

Okay, pretty iconic sequence right off the bat. Super uncomfortable looking trap, good buildup, lots of blood. A real saw movie.

My rebuttal to Chris Rock's rant about Forrest Gump is that Jenny did not ask Forrest to do any of that and... oh shit, it's the po-po. But I guessed Rock was a cop from the promotional material but this was a good reveal.

So 12 years ago was the Saw 6 and 7 era. That was a time where people would have wanted dirty cops turned in. Hoffman was on a fucking killing spree, gotta nip them in the bud.

It's nice to know that if my dead body was ever found, the cops would immediately take me seriously because my fitbit would tell them that I'm not unhoused.

Jigsaw used an old ass tv in the trap but a USB stick for the video. I guess it's near impossible to find any tapes or tape players.

Putting bad cops in traps... I like this.

That box that guys tongue, isnt it? Yep.

"Damn n**** wash your hands" she told him to get out, he can use hand sanitizer.

Wow, such realism. Someone turns in a cop doing bad things and now they're the bad guy. It's almost like the cops are protecting bad cops.

Is this the first time we meet a victims wife or family member after their death? No one usually gives a shit about them. Good expansion.

"I heard about Boz. You alright?" "No, I'm all fucked up". First time I've seen someone fully admit to being distraught over the death of a friend.

"Dont drain my battery watching Twilight" what is this, 2009??? Wait, is this 2009?! Is this like Jigsaw where- oh wait, they just showed them with smartphones, my bad.

I forgot to turn in subtitles, they make watching movies so much easier for me. And now I can spell everyones names right.

You're looking for a copycat of Jigsaw, the guy who kidnaps and tortures 'bad' people, and you walk into an abandoned building alone? You deserve to die now. The message from earlier even specified that they were going after crooked cops.

Oooh, this trap looks interesting. I havent seen any images of it before.

Zeke, stop trying to ruin other peoples marriages. Not everyone needs to be as miserable as you.

Tip your delivery driver!

DONT FUCKING TOUCH THE BOX AND USB BOX WITHOUT GLOVES. ITS FUCKING EVIDENCE.

I see, the pig theme is being used to mock the police here.

TOUCHING EVIDENCE WITHOUT GLOVES. AGAIN.

OH NOW YOU PUT THEM ON

And now I see it, all the cops that hate Zeke are also bad cops. It's almost like the force is full of bad cops and when the one good cop turns one in, they get ostracized.

I'm trying to see the point of the cage on Fitch's head. Maybe to keep him from chewing through the wires around his fingers.

I know someone who almost lost her finger during an archaeological dig. An accident with a sawhorse I think. She still can't watch hand trauma scenes.

"John Kramer didn't target cops" Eric Matthews, Rigg, Straum, Perez, Carrie... Hoffman only got involved because of his fake trap.

Okay, what is Banks Sr out doing?

ZEKE! GLOVES!

Dont you have bomb sniffing dogs? Have one take a whiff, easy.

It's the skin from someones head- SCHENK. I LIKED YOU.

Wait, theres always a mole in these movies, someone on the inside pulling strings. Schenk is new, too new to have done anything too corrupt. The only way to positively identify the body would be with dental records. That might take a minute to obtain and analyze.

Okay, I may have seen a small spoiler a few months ago about who is the mole, but I cant positively remember if it was Schenk or not.

They must be raiding antique stores now to get these tape players.

'Sever your spine or get covered in hot wax'? Really thinking outside the box here.

One killer to make a diversion, one to trap Angie? Banks Sr and Schenk working together?

I'm going to be totally wrong and suckerpunched out of left field, arent I?

Yes, he is too close to this. He needs to be taken off the case and given a horse tranquilizer.

WAIT THE FIRST SMARTPHONES CAME OUT IN 2007. THIS COULD BE 2009. I forgot to pay attention to anything that could date the time period.

Banks Sr walked into that one... literally.

As a cop, you should be trained to pick a handcuffs lock, just because. Oh wait, do you know how to pick handcuffs? Holy shit, you have a useful skill.

Oh, hi Pete. I guess someone stole Pete's badge and password to erase the footage. Zeke should have realized that Pete would not have walked into the police station with everyone knowing who he is.

I guess we are in a recycling plant?

Zeke just jumps in and starts helping. See, Jeff? I mean, Pete is bleeding out the mouth so hes 100% dead but Zeke did his best.

Yay, Schenk is alive!

CHARLIE

Wait, wouldnt they have noticed that the tattoo was fresh? Fresh tattoos look different from healed ones. Schenk's tattoo is healed and old.

You know you die waaaaay before all 1.5 gallons are drained.

HE MADE HIM INTO A PUPPET

Oh hey, this was Bousman? Nice to see you back in the saddle. Great quality work this time.

Holy shit, I'm feeling super emotional. Great use of the Saw theme at the end there, great payoff to everything. I literally said 'pulling the strings' earlier without realizing how true it is.

I say this is a great offshoot to the Saw storyline. John Kramer is not involved, he only inspired the killing spree. The title is great because Schenk leaned into the spiral motif to emphasize a symbol used by Jigsaw that was not Billy. 'From the book of Saw' is giving me 'Cult of John Kramer' vibes, which I like. It shows how he was so influential as a serial killer who targeted 'bad' people in an attempt to reform them that other people began to copy him. I can see so many others trying to be the next Jigsaw. Of course, Schenk did all of this for personal reasons to seek revenge. Besides Cecil, Kramer actually wanted people to survive and be reformed. I dont think Hoffman cared if people won or lost, but he still made all the traps survivable. One step up from Amanda.

I'm now super interested to see where Saw X takes us. Saw in spaaaaace? Smashing someones face with liquid nitrogen? Uber-Jason?

#saw #saw series #spiral #from the book of saw #spiral from the book of saw

[socialmediaevans]

END GAME | 07 - chris evans x reader social media au

liked by perrieedwards and others

theofficialy/n Im really honored to be the one who piece this together,thank you sm for always considering me, boos 🥺😘 you guys rock!!! 🤟🏾

view 20.356 comments

crfan23 I think this looks kinda ugly tbh

ynroyalty she’s an icon, she’s the moment

lmandyn IM STILL NOT USED WITH THEIR PARTNERSHIP 🤧

evansfans1 so…is she just gonna play dumb? are we going to ignore the fact that she was making out with chris evans last night?

⤷ sunshinevans I hate to break it to you but she doesn’t own anyone anything…

⤷ marvelmov2 bruh Im deadass curious too!!! did you guys see their stories?! theyre def together rn

evansworldwide I wish people would leave yn alone… :/

⤷ ynandtheteam same!!!!

lizzobeeating shut upppppp I loved it, yn!!!! 😍

littlemix 💜

ynfan45 did you linked everything on the website? I really liked the brown set!

⤷ allyn she did! it was my fav too, it went perfect with perrie’s skin

⤷ fans2000 its called yn and her magic 😜

ynandpasta is it true you’re dating chris evans?

⤷ yellowyn guys, stop it!

random2 what about the captain america guy?

queenieyln istg this comment section is making me sick, you guys need to do better, yn deserves better

⤷ capmarvel2 and so does chris

liked by iamsebastianstan and others

chrisevans she’s been working since early today, I’m really proud, but dodger seems to find it terrible when she doesn’t give him all the attetion 😂❤️

⏺ tagged theofficialyn

view 35.427 comments

capmarvel7 YOU JUST BROKE THE INTERNET

chrishemsworth give him a break, you hate to share the attention too, evans LOL

ynfan2 🥹 she’s so hard working, I love that for her

robertdowneyjr Im really happy for you man

iamsebastianstan finally!!!!

⤷ chrisbae2 ok so Im just creating theory with this comment, listen to me: chris has liked yn since forever but only recently found his way to become friends and FINALLY more

ynprincessblue are you two dating?

endgamebegins you could do sm better, chris…

⤷ ynfan1 she’s famous, rich and hot, I dont think he could do better than this 😉

⤷ evansunshine Im a chris fan but I gotta agree, he’s the lucky one, yn is everything

perfectmakeupyn CHRIS EVANS DATING A BLACK GIRL I LIVED FOR THIS SHIT YALL GONNA BEAR WITH ME TALKING ABOUT THEM

ynstarlight I wish she would get back with her ex tbh…

⤷ queenieyn bruh he cheated on her wtf 🤡

⤷ cristalclearyn Im team captain! chris evans is a bae 😮‍💨

lizzobeeating ok Im devasted chris wont have my babies anymore, but Im the happiest for you guys 😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️

⤷ evansandyln lizzo I will be forever grateful to you for putting these two together 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 thank you queen

dualipa let her do her thing!!!! shes working on something I asked personally 😌😌😌

⤷ ynandthesun Im so in for this duo!!!

theofficialy/n christopher :( 💗

⤷ evansbrothers OMG SHES CALLING HIM CHRISTOPHER 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

⤷ ynthebaddest guys lets give her some love, she doesn’t deserve ppl peeking on her personal life

⤷ queenieyln you better take care of her, evans!

fan1990 you’re 41, this is sick 🤢

captainboston YALL IS THIS HIS CLOTHES SHES WEARING?!

#black!reader #chris evans imagine #chris evans social media au #chris evans x reader #famous!reader #social media au #chris evans x y/n #steve rogers imagine #chris evans

[gutierrez8103]

Chilly Down

 CALIFORINA STREETS DARKS GRASS HOOPERS  OUTSIDES INSIDES EMILY LOST  PATH WINDS SNOWING  FIRES WOOD FLOOR

ON THE FLOOR SNOW HORNS HOOPER EARS  HEAD ROCK CHRIS ARMS LONGS SHOULDERS CRAWLS FINGERS FACE LONGS NECK EYES NOSE MOUTH SINGINGS  OH SUNNY DOWN GIRL BAD LIFE  YOUR BROTHERS COME DOWN GIRL GET YOUR DIRTY SHAKE PRETTY HEAD DONT WORRY ANY THING GIRL CHILLY DOWN FINE GROUP BODY  LONGS LEGS PAWS DANCE  FINGERS      

ON THE  SNOW FLOOR HORNS HOOPER EARS HEAD MARTIN LAWRENCE ARMS LONGS SHOULDERS CRAWLS FINGERS LONG NECK EYES NOSE MOUTH SINGING WHEN SUNNY GO DOWN BROTHERS COME DOWN CHILLY FINE GROUP CHILLY DOWN FINE GROUP WHEN YOU HATE THAT MUCH  BODY LONGS LEGS PAWS DANCE FINGERS 

ON THE FLOOR SNOW HORNS HOOPER  EARS HEAD CHRIS TUCKER ARMS LONGS SHOULDERS CRAWLS FINGERS FACE LONGNECK EYES NOSE MOUTH SINGING YOUR FAMILY LIKE SOUND GAME WHOOOO WHOO  CHILLY DOWN FINE GROUP CHILLY DOWN FINE GROUP  BODY LONGS LEGS PAWS FINGERS DANCE     

ON FLOOR SNOW HORNS HOOPER EARS HEAD ICE CUBE ARMS SHOULDERS  CRAWLS FINGERS LONG NECK EYES NOSE MOUTH SINGINGS WHEN SUNNY DOWN THERE NOTHING WORRY ABOUT GIRL NO PROMBLE PEOPLE HATE WORLD  WHEN YOU HATE MUCH CHILLY DOWN FINE GROUP  COME ON GIRL CHILLY DOWN FINE GROUP BODY  LONGS LEGS PAWS DANCE FINGERS 

ON FLOOR SNOW HORNS HOOPER  EARS CORBIN BLUE ARMS LONGS SHOULDERS CRAWLS FINGERS FACE LONG NECK EYES NOSE MOUTH SINGING NO PROMBLE PEOPLE HATE WORLD SCENICES TALK CHILLY DOWN FINE GROUP WHEN HATE THAT MUCH  WHEN HAT THAT MUCH BODY LONGS LEGS PAWS DANCE  FINGERS 

ON FLOOR SNOW HORNS HOOPER  EARS HEAD TERRY TAYLOR ARMS LONG SHOULDERS CRWALS FINGERS FACE LONG NECK EYES NOSE MOUTH SINGING OH OH PEOPLE TALK MIRROR LIKE WIRED  CHILY DOWN FINE GROUP  COME ON GIRL  CHILLY DOWN CHILLY DOWN HAHAHAH  CHILLY DOWN FINE GROUP 

HORNS HOOPER EARS HEAD WILL SMITH ARMS LONGS SHOULDERS FACE LONG NECK EYES NOSE MOUTH SINGINGS OH OH CALL ME CRAZY SHE WOMEN BITCH PICTURES MEMREOY FAMILY HER FAMILYS CRAZY LAZY  NOT NATURAL SHAKE BOOOT BUTT  GIRL LISTEN MUSIC  FAMILYS PARTY GIVE THAT FAMILYS  BAD LUCK  CHILLY DOWN CHILLY DOWN FINE GROUP 

HORNS HOPPER EARS HEAD CHRIS ROCK ARMS LONGS SHOULDERS CRAWLS FINGERS  FACE LONG NECK EYES NOSE MOUTH SINGS COME ON GIRL DOWN DONT  LET THING GET YOU GIRL DOWN   WE SHOW YOU GOOD LUCK TIME WHEN YOU HATE THAT MUCH  BODY  LONGS LEGS PAWS DANCE FINGERS 

HORNS EARS HEAD MARTIN LAWRENCE ARMS LONGS SHOULDERS CRWALS FINGERS FACE LONG NECK EYES NOSE MOUTH SINGING LAZY PERSON CLEAN UP CLOTHES TROUBLE  LIFE HER  AND THERE HIDE RUNNING AWAY CHILLY DOWN FINE GROUP CHILLY DOWN FINE GROUP YOU BAD MOOD CHILLY DOWN  BODY LONGS LEGS  PAWS DANCE  FINGERS  

HORNS EARS HEAD CHRIS TUCKER ARMS LONGS SHOULDERS CRAWLS FINGERS  FACE LONG NECK EYES NOSE MOUTH SINGING CHILLY DOWN FINE GROUP WHEN YOU HATE THAT MUCH YOU HAVE BAD MOOD CHILLY DOWN FINE GROUP BODY LONGS LEGS PAWS DANCE FINGERS 

HORNS EARS HEAD TERRY TAYOLR ARMS SHOULDERS CRWALS FINGERS FACE LONG NECK EYES NOSE MOUTH SINGING WHEN YOU HATE THAT MUCH CHILLY DOWN SHE BAD MOOD CHILLY DOWN FINE GROUP  LONGS LEGS PAWS DANCE  FINGERS   

 PATH ON THE  STREETS WOMEN SHIRT HEAD HAIRS EARS EMILY ANN GUTIERREZ ARMS LONGS SHOULDERS HANDS FINGERS  NECK LONGS EYES BROWN NOSE MOUTH EWWWWWW YOU ALL WANT  FROM ME LEAVE STUPID BUGS LEAVE ME ALONE HELP HELPPP  BODYS LONGS LEGS FEES RUNNING 

ON HIDE TREE WOMEN SHIRT HEAD HAIRS HAT EARS EMILY ANN GUTIERREZ ARMS LONGS SHOULDERS HANDS FINGERS FACE LONG NECK EYES NOSE MOUTH RRRRRRRRR YOU ALL BETTER SING WHATTTTTT WHATT EXCAUSE ME RRRRRRRRR BODYS  LONGS LEGS FEETS 

HOTEL ON TOP ROOF DANIEL IDDINGS PARADA EMILY COUISIN  ON PATH STREETS  WOMEN SHIRT HEAD EARS HAT HAIRS EMILY ANN GUTIERREZ ARMS LONGS SHOULDERS HAND  FINGERS FACE LONG NECK EYES NOSE MOUTH  ENOUGH BUGS PLEASE STOPPPPP LEAVE ME ALONE  DANIEL  BODYS LONGS LEGS FEETS 

EMILY ROPE CLIMB AWWW EWW HEY LEAVE ME ALONE BUGS  DANIEL IDDINGS GET LOST GOO SHIT GOO GOOO I KNICK ALL YOURR BUTTS SHIT  

 HOTLE ON THE TOP ROOF EMILY DANIEL   

HOTLE ON TOP THE ROOF MAN SHIRT HEAD EARS HAIRS DANIEL IDDINGS PARADA ARMS SHOULDERS HANDS FINGERS HOLD HUGS FACE LONG NECK EYES  MOUTH NOSE ITS OK EM IM HERE SHIRT HEAD EARS EMILY ANN GUTIERREZ ARMS SHOULDERS HANDS FINGERS HOLD FACE LONG NECK EYES NOSE MOUTH CALIFORINA GOING WHOLE WORLD MADDNES   

#CHRIS ROCK FANS #ICE CUBE FANS #CHRIS TUCKER #CORBIN BLUE #WILL SMITH #TERRY TAYLOR

[robocops-a-christ-allegory]

Nobody needs my opinion obviously but I have also been seeing the Will Smith Slapping Chris Rock thing nonstop and its like. The way people have been talking about it is fucking weird I saw somebody on reddit say like “what Smith said was so weird and violent...he needs help...” like trying to claim Will Smith is having a psychotic break and its like have you ever been anywhere in your life thats literally just how people talk when theyre willing to fight

#there are SO MANY people trying to claim this is a sign that Will Smith is having a mental breakdown like RELAX is was a SLAP #hes not fucking mentally ill just because of this fucking christ #I know getting mad about reddit patholigizing peoples behavior is kind of ridiculous because thats all reddit does but god #And yeah obviously its most likely people just being insanely racist. it is mostly people being really fucking racist #'keep my wifes name out of your mouth' isnt WEIRD #And obviously I dont give a fuck about the Oscars and it was a open palm slap that barely seemed to hurt Chris Rock I think Will Smith was- #-right. like jesus its not that big of a deal #its so fucking annoying seeing people talk about how this Ruins The Oscars Reputation .... like its 2022 what reputation does the oscars- #fucking have. literally not convinced anyone saying that shit actually cares

[offantasyandfiction]

i don't care personally and this is all im gonna say but the thing about this incident that makes me most uncomfortable are the people defending w*ll sm*th like they're getting paid or making jokes like... the man clearly needs help if that was his reaction to a joke He Laughed At

#ive never liked him or his anyway #but this shit here highlights exactly why #fans defending and justifying for him all over the place and for what #also what this post should have been #i dont think he should have won #thats what they give oscars to wow #owen wilson woow #and all those saying chris rock made a joke about her medical condition #are you dense #hes a comedian he made a joke about her appearance #and for some reason her husband reacted to her reaction #not the joke itself #like that

[louvbite]

ik coldplay is coldplay and the connotation it has, but damn the musica ligera cover that was fucking huge

#to us of course #they gave the opportunity to people to enjoy something/a song that isn’t available live anymore #like the singer died so they dont perform anymore and its such a sample of our rock culture #and they covered it in a stadium concert with a shit ton of people in the audience #they gave the audience a chance to enjoy the song as it should be experience/listened to as close as they could bc obvi they are coldplay #and thats so sweet and important and i dont think they even know what it means to us taht they gave us that chance #like it could have been any band any artist and we couldnt give a fuck during that song live coldplay/chris martin is not even important #they went to second place at their own concert #its about the experience #and crowd

[navstuffs]

IT'S CARNAVAL!

Masterlist of my Adrian Chase's fanfics. REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Pairing: Adrian Chase x GN!Reader

Summary: a series of headcanons of you, Adrian enjoying Carnival (+ Chris).

Warning: alcohol use (NEVER ACCEPT ALCOHOL FROM STRANGERS), SMUT, penetration, cum, public sex

Authors note: SPECIAL CARNIVAL/MARDI GRAS/CARNAVAL. for those who dont know, imagine Carnival as big street party with ppl dressed in sometimes costumes, having fun, loud music, drinking (a lot) and dancing (adrian and chris kind of thing). i swear this came to me at 1 am AND I HAD TO WRITE. i tried to keep it as neutral as possible to respect all cultures since different countries celebrate Carnival in different ways. credits to my husband who gave the idea for Peacemaker's costume. credits of the gif to @bigilante

You told Adrian one of your favorite events of year finally arrived in February, Carnival. Adrian didn't know a lot about it and you told him you were presented with it by your friends

You explained to him he could go dressed as anything he wanted, drink as much he wanted and dance how he wanted, AND HE WOULDN'T BE JUDGED.

"WHERE DO I SIGN IN?"

You and Adrian decided to invite Chris because he has been needing some fun since his dad's death. He had been so depressed and quite frankly, you were worried about him.

"We can celebrate the racist piece of shit's death? And be with my favorite people in the entire world? Dance and drink to this?" Adrian suggested smiling back at Chris and you. Your man was so dense

"Damnit Adrian be a little more compassionate man okay? My old man has died" cried Chris, sniffling on a tissue. You start to apologize for the insensitive comments of your boyfriend, giving an accusatory glance to Adrian. He mouths a silent "What? What did I do?"

"How much puss and cock will I get?" Chris suddenly asks.

You roll your eyes as Adrian opens a smile. This is what you get for being compassionate.

So on the day of the event, you decide to meet in an alley close to the party, coming separately to not spoil your costumes. You are the first one to arrive, dressed as Legolas from Lord of the Rings to tease Adrian.

Your man had told he had a crush on the elf prince since he was a child, fascinated with how badass and cool Legolas looked during a drunk marathon of Lord of the Rings- Extended Version and you couldn't wait for him to see you dressed like that

To no surprise, when you see Adrian he is dressed as Peacemaker. He has a helmet made of tin foil and you have to admire his attention to details, from the red shirt with a dove on it, the pants, blue gloves, and boots. He even has his own stuffed Eagly attached to his arm

When Adrian sees you, he stops in his tracks, gulping. He looks up and down at your body slowly. He absorbs how the costume hugs you in the correct places, especially in your ass. When he notices you have elf ears, Adrian feels his arousal growing so he turns his back against you, before he loses control of himself

"You even put elf ears? Do you want me to have a heart attack before I turn 35?"

"After this, we can enjoy the night, Vigilante"

You whisper the last part in Adrian's ear and he almost grabs your hand to take you to a dark alley he saw down the street, isolated enough so one could hear or say anything

"IT IS ROCK AND ROLL CARNIVAL, BITCHES!"

It is Chris. Walking towards you, he is dressed as a Kiss band member, with red lipstick on, white make-up, a cheap black wig, a painted star on his eyes. He wears a black top with tight pants and waits, do those boots have heels? Chris attracts all the looks from people as he passes, some even clapping. You thought you heard a small whistle coming from Adrian.

You don't know if you should be amazed or disgusted.

"That is fucking awesome, P! You are probably gonna be the sexiest thing, of course, after my Legolas!"

When Chris sees Adrian's outfit he rolls his eyes, not surprised. When he sees yours though, he blinks in surprise. He points to you back to Adrian and your boyfriend just agrees with the kinkiest smile ever.

To Adrian and Chris's surprise, the party is happening on the street. There are people dressed in costumes, some not but everyone seems to be having fun. A loud exciting music plays and it is impossible to not dance. Chris, of course, gets all the attention. Everyone looks at him, some people whistling, calling him "Sexy Thing." Chris notices a tall Barbarian with a thick beard eyeing him the whole time

You get a few tequilas shots to start, cheering for friendship. Adrian (the weakest on alcohol of you three) starts dancing, timid. You reassure no one will judge him when a woman dressed as a nun with her ass out, pass drinking and singing, followed by a man with devil's horn and super-tight shorts

Your boyfriend is now fully dancing and vibrating to the song now. You laugh with Peacemaker, clinking your shot glasses and turning at once

After at least four shots, you have Adrian twerking against our leg as you grind against him, holding his hips. Chris is nowhere to be found, probably finding himself in the arms of the sexy Barbarian

The night continues and you and Adrian, due to the alcohol, dance with other people now, especially a group dressed as Star Wars characters. You two accept free drinks from a short Darth Vader and a tall Yoda, who promise you this will land you on the moon

"We shouldn't drink this Adrian, what if they want to steal our kidney?"

"Why would Yoda want to steal our kidney, baby?!"

The red drink doesn't taste really good, going down your throat burning but in minutes, you start feeling your body on fire. Adrian seems to feel the same by the way he looks at you, his face red

"I know a place, come on."

You let yourself be guided by Adrian, passing the others as a blur.

Adrian takes you to the dark alley he saw before, away enough from the main street. He kisses you against the wall. You two never made out so hungrily like this before. Adrian's hands are desperate, going inside your outfit to feel your skin. You are so hot now with all the alcohol and the people walking. If anyone decides to go to that alley to pee, they would catch you, which makes things more exciting. Adrian's hands go down your ass, grabbing it. Adrian moans as he presses his hard-on against your leg, eager to have you.

You two share a long hot kiss, with Adrian biting your lips. If you weren't leaking before, you were now.

"Shit, babe, if we don't stop now I will ruin your outfit"

"I am warm anyway."

Adrian pulls your pants down and you open your legs, placing your hands on the wall for support. You bite your lips with anticipation. Your heart is beating fast as Adrian unzips his pants, leading his cock to your entrance. He is so different tonight, shoving at once, not as careful as the other nights. Your moans are muffled by Adrian's hand over your mouth. The sounds of people passing near you make your stomach twist, nervous but at the same time more aroused. Adrian has never fucked you so hard like this, as the thrill of getting caught is affecting him as well. You and Adrian never did that before and you know you won't last long. Adrian seems to realize that as well, whispering loud enough so you could hear.

"Cum for me, babe. Let it all go."

Your eyes roll with pleasure as Adrian cums on you not long after. He helps you get up and adjust yourself, your legs still shaking with the orgasm. You both are breathless, Adrian's glasses titled to one side. He gives you a more calm and passionate kiss, holding you while you two calm yourself.

"That was..."

"Shit."

You two go back to the party, deciding to never accept drinks from any Darth Vader and Yoda again when Peacemaker appears in front of you in the middle of the sea of people. His lipstick is all messed up and he isn't wearing any more wig. Also, his blacktop is gone

He looks between you, understanding what happened based on Adrian's relaxed smile. Chris holds you and Adrian on each arm and screams

"I fucking love Carnival!"

The next morning, you wake up in Adrian's bed butt naked. Adrian is at your side, naked as well, wearing just the Peacemaker's boots on. You rub your eyes, the clock showing almost 10 am.

Your movements end up waking up Adrian. He smiles lazily at you, letting his head against the pillow.

"It seems we had a freaky night, Adrian."

"All I remember was you begging me to fuck you in boots. Do you even know how we got home?"

"I remember we befriend a Scooby doo and Shaggy and we invite them to be our new couple BFFs?"

"Did we give them Scooby snacks?"

You laugh, nuzzling against Adrian as he covered you two with the thin sheet. You needed a shower but it could wait five minutes more.

#adrian chase fanfics #adrian chase #vigilante x reader #adrian chase x reader #adrian chase x you #vigilante x you #vigilante fanfics #vigilante #peacemaker fanfics #adrian chase imagine #vigilante imagines #vigilante smut #vigilante imagine #adrian chase imagines #MY FANFICS ARE GETTING CRAZIER #THERES NO TYPO IN THE TITLE #I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT IM DOING WITH ADRIAN ANYMORE #next fanfic my man will be a mermaid or something #also everytime i think about its carnaval I CAN HEAR BART SAYING THAT

[diorbabe66]

will prob already had beef w chris rock cause the way he said- it looked like when u hate that person but u dont have an "actual reason" and THEY GIVE U ONE

zjzjzkzj no cause like i feel like chris has said some outta pocket shit before 😭 but jade has alopecia which chris made a joke about!! which isn't okay at all honestly i'm happy will punched him lol

[ajax1230]

I’m rewatching AOT before Part 2 of the Final Season airs TOMORROW and here are some things that stuck out to me:

1: LEVI IS SUCH A DICK 😂- disclaimer, I love this man with all my everything. Shawty a lil baddie, he my lil boo thang 😏 but YALL the way he talks to Eren is too much! And yes, I obviously knew this before but the fact that he is specifically a dick to Eren really jumped out at me. Called Armin and Hange the ‘brain trust’ and Mikasa a kick ass body guard, then he looks at Eren, who probably has a concussion and just fist fought a Titan that was his good friend. I mean this FIFTEEN YEAR OLD is really going through it all and puberty, and Levi has the gall to look at him and say “don’t screw it up”. First of all there wouldn’t even be an ‘it’ if Eren weren’t there but that’s beside the point. Lmfao but really I guess it’s his way of showing affection, still it kinda kicked me in the teeth on the rewatch. Don’t come for me or my McDonald Toy sized king, he’s an asshole but we’re still loving it.

2- I love Hange even more now- After the Utguard Castle incident, Eren is in Titan form rocking the ‘Armored Titian’s’ shit. Hange comes down and perches on Erens shoulder to give him strategy talk. He looks at Hange with his big ass head and nods. Hange gets red and does the squeal. I THOUGHT it was adorable! That must have been their dream to have a Titan finally speak to them after all the experiments and shit they had to do. Now how Chris Hansen feels about the noise Hange made, I guess we will never know.

3-Erwin weird asf.- I gotta say it. He’s my Responsible Daddy and whatnot but dude needs some serious rehab in the social department. First of all, what human has that perfect posture with all that gear on? It’s ridiculous. Secondly, again Chris Hansen might have a few words about how he grabs on these kids shoulders and asks them existentially vague questions. “Hey lil mama lemme whisper in ya ear-“ COMMANDER IF YOU DONT TAKE YOUR SEVEN FOOT TALL ASS AND DO SOME WORK. Aren’t there condolence cards you should be writing out? Anyways, I feel like Levi’s still so salty at Erwin (in prior seasons) cause anytime Erwin tells him to do anything Levi just does the sassiest arm cross like “why tho?” In conclusion, Erwin is scary as fuck but I’d still take on that Spooky Dicc no matter the season. MOVING ON

4-Ymir.- Ymir, Ymir, YMIR. Honestly, she was too hot for what they did to her. Down right dirty. And we were ROBBED OF HISTORIA AND YMIR KISS SCENE. There were so many opportunities! It would have been cinematic glory. I’m down with everything her mean ass stood for, even though we would have had to fight in person, I feel like she would have read my soul to me. The thought is so scary I might throw up. Did her dirty, want a redo and I want it now.

5- last one for now, but the fight between Mikasa and Annie.- WHY! I think I repressed the memory from when I originally watched the series but I forgot they just leave us on a cliffhanger. I believe there is a manga/spin off that may talk about it but I’m not sure. Either way as an anime watcher I’m crying. I was ready to see Mikasa unload on Raggedy Anne, especially after calling her an animal and laying up on her man like that. Justice for Mikasa (on so many levels but for now this specifically)

That’s all for now, I may rant more coherently later if I feel inclined but I just wanted to screech into the void before the new season starts up and I forget these little moments. AOT is so special to me this season is going to be so hard to watch but everything ends eventually so let’s enjoy it while it lasts!

#attack on titan #aot fandom #levi ackerman #eren yeager #aot final season #anime #hange zöe #erwin smith #mikasa ackerman #ymir x christa #annie leonhardt

[cinewhore]

Hair is already an aspect of a person’s appearance that’s a major factor in their sense of self and their own opinion of their appearance.

(I’m mixed, light skinned, and my hair isn’t Afro textured, so this is from observations of my aunts (who do have Afro textured hair) as well as sm memories from when I was younger (I rlly wanted Afro hair when I was small, I didn’t understand the work involved or the discrimination because of it, all I knew was that the black women in my life and black girls in my class had very pretty hair/hair styles)

Hair styles tend to have gendered associations, first off. there are 3AM infomercials for hair tonics and there’s usually at least one woman who’s testimonial is smth along the line of “the hair loss made me feel like less of a woman”

hair is a major aspect of black culture, my gran told me that when she grew up in Jamaica they were called Canerows not Cornrows, cause Jamaica has sugarcane, and they’d be used to make secret maps to safe houses for escaped slaves.

It’s also one of the several things that makes me feel disconnected from my own racial identity, not having Afro hair.

So Will Smith getting up on an internationally televised stage and slapping the shit out of Chris Rock for making a joke about Jada’s alopecia is understandable.

(not the best course of action mind, violence I mean, but if someone made a joke about smth a person I loved was extremely sensitive about, I can’t say me lashings out physically isn’t a possibility)

Let me preface this by saying: THIS IS BLACK PEOPLE BUSINESS SO IF YOU ARE NOT BLACK, I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR OPINION.

Ok.

Now.

I get where you’re coming from. I still have embarrassment about my natural hair and it took me a month before i was comfortable to walk around without a scarf on in front of roommate. I should be comfortable in my own damn house.

Would i have slapped him? Nah, it’s not my thing.

Do i agree with will slapping him? Hell yeah. He publicly belittle jada for years (twice, noticeably) and got what he asked for. You can’t complain that folks are being “too soft” about comedy nowadays and then get mad when you get your shit rocked (pun intended).

“Talk shit, get hit” “fuck around and find out” - none of these sayings have an expiration date. This means any time, any place. Chris insulted Jada publicly, Will corrected and embarrassed him publicly. That wasn’t even a hard slap and i have a feeling Will could’ve came a lot harder if he wanted to.

That was a warning and a damn good one. I bet Chris won’t say shit else about it.

And all these white people screaming “violence!” “Abusive behavior!” “He should be put in jail!” need to pick up the phone cause the call is coming from inside the house.

It reeks of racism and anti-blackness

#humanransome note

[welcometomytrashcan]

both chris rock and will smith are in the wrong. chris shouldnt have made that joke about jada because it was it poor taste and will shouldn’t have smacked chris when and where he did. i dont give a fuck if he smacked him, he couldve done that backstage or cussed him out from his seat like he partially did. but the fact that he smacked him on stage in the middle of a live broadcast for one of the most well know award shows ever was such a poor lapse in judgment on will’s part. because of this, all of the people and films who won awards have been completely overshadowed because all people can focus on is will smith smacking the shit out of chris rock and who is on whose side. it’s like if someone were to propose or announce a pregnancy at someone else’s wedding. this whole ordeal probably ripped such a special night away from so many people who so deserved it and i hope people start to realize that.

#oscars 2022 #will smith #chris rock #the oscars

[courtney-deserved-better]

whats ur writing schedule/process like! not in a “write faster” way, but i think once you mentioned writing in script form? and i like the way you wrote ur most recent fic! just curious bc ur works are just really good :)

this is a great question!!

if its not slippery slopes, ill usually get an idea for something and periodically jot down notes when they come to me until I feel like i have enough information to start writing (or if im just motivated), that's what i did for my horror challenge rewrite. and for stuff that's like... rewrites of an episode that aren't as character-focused as slippery slopes, i usually read the episode transcripts and try to replicate that total drama style with my own writing

for shorter oneshots, i usually just get a vague idea and run with it until i find a good ending spot, then i go back and clean it up a bit so the structure works

slippery slopes is an... interesting cycle. chapters are getting long enough that i cant just write them in one sitting any more (i think ch5 was the last chapter i did that for) and instead ill agonize over the beginning (always the hardest part to write for me) but once i get going with that i usually finish the chapter within a few days. then i reread the previous chapter to make sure it flows ok (and there aren't any contradictions) and then ill give myself a break where i dont do anything total drama related before coming back to edit and post. though before I do all that I type up notes and rough dialogue bits

and then once i post it it's like... a weight off my chest? like ive been purged or something?? idk its a weird sensation but im just like i Physically Cannot Write Anything For This Right Now and i don't start on the next chapter until that goes away. and then i either start the beginning and do nothing for a week before going back and finishing the chapter or i go into a manic state and write nonstop for a few days. right now i haven't reached a point where im ready to begin writing chapter 10 but i have a lot of notes for it.

(also as soon as i finish posting a chapter i try not to go on my laptop for like 12 hours so i don't obsessively refresh my email for comments. i love reading comments so much holy shit. please comment guys it makes fic authors feel so happy we will love you for it)

as for scripts: i am working on being a writer professionally, but specifically a playwright. writing in a script format comes more naturally to me than writing prose. funnily enough, i started posting fanfic just to practice my prose (and fix stuff in cobra kai that i didnt like) but things sort of... ended up here? idk man but im enjoying it.

right, so because writing in a script format is easier when im really struggling with a section in a fic ill usually scrap whatever i had and write it like a script, then translate that into prose. i was very excited to write the family videos for chapter 9 of slippery slopes, but i was Having Issues, so i redid it as a script and then rewrote that as prose. ill put the script version under the cut if you're interested in that.

but thank you so much for the question!! i do think my writing process is a bit unconventional but hey i think things are turning out well! if you have any more questions feel free to send them in!!

ok here is the last scene of ch 9 of slippery slopes in script format:

[SIERRA]

MOM: Hi honey! Omigosh this is so exciting! I bet you’re having such a great time! Especially since Chris is there! Is Chris watching this? Hi Chris! You know, I loooved you on that ice skating show. Your hair was fantastic! Well, it always is, haha. Do you really make your own hair gel? I’ve been trying to perfect the recipe but you’re just so hard to track down! Oh, you’re such a funny guy! I laughed sooo hard when you made all those jokes about marrying Chef.

Chef: hey!

Chris: ok just for the record, I wasn’t joking, we are married, Sierra tell your mom we’re married

Sierra: …can we just turn it off please

[COURTNEY]

DAD: Courtney, sayang, I know you’ve been going through a lot right now—

MOM: So you’d BETTER make it count. You’ve made it this far before, I want to see you getting all the way to the finale this time. And winning it. Enough moping about those hideous, good-for-nothing slackers! That’s what you get for hanging around freaks like them. You’re doing this for the million, now get the million. Is that clear?

ZARINA: And kick ass!

DAD: Zarina!

Video cuts out.

Alejandro: courtney you good?

Courtney: no, she’s right. Mama didn’t raise no quitter

Alejandro: [knows she’s still upset about duncan and gwen]

[ALEJANDRO]

MOM: Hola, Alejandro. We hope you are doing well, especially in such unsavory conditions. I’m glad to see you’ve made it to the final four— we expected nothing less, of course.

DAD: You have been utilizing your skills quite well. Though I wish you hadn’t been so… blatant about it. You’ll have to work twice as hard once this is over to convince people you’re trustworthy. But surely you were aware of that going into this… odd endeavor. That’s just politics. Reputation is everything.

JOSE: [snorts] Oh, and what a reputation you have, Al. I could easily compile hours of footage of your failures, but I, unlike you, do not waste my time on the frivolities of reality television. Though you always have been lacking in taste. Especially with that bratty girlfriend of yours— oh, my mistake, aren’t you dating the whiny weakling? It’s so hard to keep track! [laughs]

Alejandro: callate!

MOM: I’m sure Alejandro is just working an angle on them.

DAD: Whatever the case is, do not disappoint us.

[NOAH]

MOM: Hi Noah, I’m sorry, I don’t have time to record a full video, but I’m proud of you! Here are your sisters!

ISWARI: A million dollars? A million [bleep] dollars? Win it, Noah! Win it!

RUTH: Dude!! This is crazy! I know you can do this— good luck! Ark misses you! [holds up Ark who barks]

MARA: Are you insane? Why aren’t you dating Alejandro already?

Noah: shut up, mara, just because you can’t keep a boyfriend—

ANYA: Don’t let ‘em trick you! No mercy! Crush their skulls if you have to— no, wait, you’re not strong enough for that. We’ll get there!

LIYA: I say this as your sister, someone who loves you but is constantly annoyed by you— for someone who is quite literally a genius, you sure can be an idiot sometimes.

BALLARI: Okay, I literally have no idea how you’ve made it this far without an athletic bone in your body— are we sure you aren’t adopted? I’m kidding

ABS: You’re stubborn as hell when it comes to me, so you better be stubborn as hell when it comes to winning! And when you do win, get me a frozen yogurt machine, will you? I promise I won’t make you rock climb again!

JAEL: If you lose this, I’ll kill you with this racket. And then use your guts to make myself a new racket. So don’t fuck it up. Again.

Noah: [frozen, ashamed]

Sierra: well that was a mess

Courtney: ok show of hands, who felt better after hearing that? [no one raises hands]

Chris: yeah I was expecting this to be a lot more heartwarming…

Chef: chris just look at them. If they had stable home lives they wouldn’t be doing reality tv

Alejandro: can we please stop talking about this. Also aren’t you supposed to be flying the plane

Chef: oh fuck

Chris: yeah sure. I think im gonna call my mom

Everyone: …

Noah: ok so that was really shitty. Why dont we all go to first class and try and ignore our problems

Everyone: yeah ok sounds good

***

Courtney: so that sucked

Alejandro: at least your dad seems ok

Courtney: true. What are your guys dads like

Noah and Sierra: bold of you to assume I know my dad. Jinx

***

Alejandro: that last girl… you mentioned a sister who does tennis and hates you

Noah: yep

Alejandro: why?

Noah: none of your business. but… it is pretty justified

#slippery slopes #ask #anon #total drama #writing #fic #my fic

[beautiful-and-terrible]

dazed ‘n’ confused (part 4)

A/N: just a quick chapter for you guys before i have to put this story on the back burner :( i have an annual essay coming up in school that i gotta focus on. anyway, hope you like the gangs drunk shennanigans

Ship: Rodrick Heffley / OFC

Warnings: underage drinking / drug use, inebriated driving (DONT DRIVE DRUNK KIDS THIS IS A FICTIONAL STORY DONT BE STUPID :) )

---

“If we get caught, my mom’ll kill me,” Rodrick groaned.

“Let’s bounce,” Nicole said, untangling herself from him and grabbing his hand as they ran further into the back yard, looking for an escape route.

“I’ll boost you,” Rodrick said, gesturing to the fence. Nicole nodded, not thinking of a better plan, and wanting to get out of there as fast as possible. She stepped into the make-shift step Rodrick made with his palms, and as she swung a leg over the fence, he pushed her the rest of the way. It wasn’t the most graceful execution, and she ended up landing on her ass with a grunt of pain.

Rodrick also clumsily made his way over the fence - both of them being drunk and high didn’t help their coordination much. “Sorry, are you good?” Rodrick said, clutching his shin, and Nicole waved him off.

“It’s fine, let's just get to the van.”

“Oh, fuck, the van!” Rodrick hissed, “The pigs are totally gonna know it’s mine.” With a big fucking stupid band name written on the side, Nicole reckoned he was right - it was pretty easy to identify, even without the plates.

“I can drive, don’t worry,” Nicole said, already starting toward the white van, creeping between other cars on the street.

“Nikky, you’re as trashed as I am, no way am I letting you drive.”

“Trust me, hot Rod,” Nicole said, slipping her hand into his front pocket and pulling out his keys before he could even blink. As they approached his van, Chris and Ben appeared in the shadows next to them, whispering excitedly as they spotted them.

“As soon as we saw the lights we bolted,” Ben snickered, but Chris looked concerned.

“Yo, I hope Caitlin doesn’t get arrested. There was a lotta booze in there,” he muttered, and Ben smacked his arm.

“You whipped, dude?”

Chris scoffed, “No, I would just feel bad for anyone in that sitch.”

“I agree,” Nicole said, feeling guilty that she couldn’t help Caitlin get out of trouble.

“C’mon, let’s fucking go,” Rodrick said, and all at once the four of them dashed to the van. Nicole jumped in the driver's seat, shoving the key in the ignition with some fumbling, and peeling out from their parking spot across the street from Caitlin’s house with enough force to make even Rodrick proud.

“We’ll make a NASCAR driver out of you yet, Nikky,” Rodrick laughed, whooping as he leaned his head out the window like a dog, the night air tangling through his hair. Ben scrambled up to the front seat from the back of the van, fiddling with the radio before he settled on a station playing “Where Is My Mind” by Pixies. Nicole turned up the volume to its top capacity, concentrating on the road lines in front of her. The adrenaline of avoiding the cops had sobered her up a little, but she was still feeling paranoid from the weed and drowsy from the beer. She drove as slowly as she dared so as not to seem suspicious. 

“Thanks for being our getaway driver, Nicole,” Chris said, his words slurring a little more than she had noticed previously. She looked back and saw him chugging a beer in the back.

“Dude, don’t fucking drink while I’m driving! We’re already in deep shit as it is,” Nicole said, turning on to the main street of downtown Plainview. Just a few more turns and they’d be home.

“You’re deep in something, alright,” Ben cackled, and he and Chris high-fived.

“Yeah, six inches deep in your mom,” Nicole shot back, and Rodrick let out an “ooooooo”, pointing at Ben, “Gotcha, bitch.”

Eventually, by some miracle, they made it to Nicole’s street. She hit the curb as she pulled up in front of her and Rodrick’s house, causing all three boys to shriek in unison. Nicole dissolved into giggles, both in relief of finally being out of danger and in reaction to the boys high-pitched screams of indignation.

“She’s an antique, Nikky!” Rodrick said, jumping out of the van to stumble to the front and assess the damage.

“Oh, I’m fine, by the way,” Nicole snarked, and Rodrick suddenly looked at her intensely, giving her a slightly blurry-eyed up-and-down look. 

“Fine as hell,” he muttered, loud enough for her to hear, and she blushed, biting her lip to keep from smiling too widely.

“Rodrick, can we crash at your place,” Ben asked, Chris making puppy dog eyes at him.

“Me too - I don’t wanna wake my parents up. Our front door is creaky as shit,” Nicole said.

Rodrick sighed loudly, as if he were being asked to do something terribly inconvenient. 

“Yeah, fine. Y’all want mac and cheese?”

The four of them, all drunk and high as kites, looked at each other and nodded in perfect synchronicity. 

As quietly as they could for four fucked up teenagers, they snuck their way into Rodricks kitchen. He pulled out a four pack of Kraft Mac and Cheese microwave cups from the pantry, filling them all with way too much water and sticking all four of them, at the same time, in the microwave.

“Dude, can I eat this beef jerky?” Chris asked, rummaging through the pantry.

“They’re my dads,” Rodrick said, as if that offered an explanation. “If you wanna explain to him why they’re gone, knock yourself out.”

Chris slowly put the bag back, looking put out.

Nicole stood next to Ben, both of them leaning on the kitchen counter. Nicole looked over at him, and he looked back, giving her a little smile. He wasn’t bad looking, but where as Rodrick was endearing because he tried to seem cool and really wasn’t, Ben had an effortless coolness about him.

“Thanks for coming with us tonight, Ben,” Nicole said. The alcohol must be making her feel emotional. After all, they had only just met today.

“Aww, Nikky, of course! I never pass up an opportunity for debauchery,” Ben said, giving her shoulder a squeeze. He pronounced debauchery like “de-booch-ery”, but Nicole was too drunk to catch the mistake. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Rodrick glaring at Ben. Dumbass, he has no reason to be jealous, Nicole thought to herself, and gave him a little reassuring wave by wiggling her fingers in his direction.

“Yo, be careful on this mac, its fucking hot,” Rodrick said, pulling the cups out of the microwave. They still had water in them, and the cheese powder wasn’t fully mixed in, but in the moment it was the most delicious thing Nicole had ever tasted.

“Should we watch a movie?” Ben suggested, and Chris bounced on his toes excitedly.

“Killer Clowns from Space!! Pleeeaaaase! You’ve been promising me for weeks now that we’d watch it.”

Ben sighed, Rodrick rolled his eyes, but Nicole had no opinion on the subject, so she made the executive decision to say, “I’m down.”

Ben and Rodrick both groaned, and Chris gave her a fist bump from across the kitchen island.

“Nikky has taste, sorry guys,” Chris said, looking very smug as he slurped his luke-warm mac and cheese.

They all somehow stumbled up to Rodrick’s room - Nicole belatedly realized she had been dreaming about being in his room for weeks, and now that she was here took the time to really appreciate what was in front of her.

A person’s room can tell you everything you need to know about them. For one, Rodrick was messy, but no more messy than any other average teenage boy. Clothes on the floor and the back of his desk chair, thrown haphazardly over a bean-bag in the corner of the room. There were christmas lights strung from the ceiling, both white and rainbow, that gave the room a cozy vibe that Nicole would’ve never expected from Rodrick.

His walls were mostly covered in band posters, and above his desk there was a cork board littered with tickets of concerts he had been to. Nicole almost seethed with jealousy at the sheer amount and quality of concerts he had been to - Leftover Crack, Pleasure Venom, Less than Jake, and one of Nicole’s personal favorites, Mannequin Pussy.

“You like Mannequin Pussy?” Nicole said, whipping her head around to look at Rodrick. 

“That's not the only kind of pussy he likes,” Ben hollered, causing Chris to smack him upside the head.

“There's a lady present, dumbass,” Chris said, and Ben raised his hands in surrender.

“I think you mean that’s the only kind of pussy he gets,” Nicole said, throwing a teasing wink toward Rodrick, who blushed bright red.

“Yeah, they’re good. Romantic is my favorite album,” Rodrick said, scratching the back of his neck self consciously. Ben and Chris started making kissing noises in his direction, and Rodrick threw a pillow at them.

As Chris and Ben fought over who would set up the projector, Nicole let her snooping instincts take over, looking at the other miscellaneous things Rodrick had around his room - empty liquor bottles filled with more lights, a surprising amount of books (mostly graphic novels), a lava lamp filled with miniature rubber ducks, and mushroom paraphernalia. Everywhere. His pillowcases, the tapestry above his bed, and the stickers on his water bottle all had holographic or brightly colored mushrooms on them. She was so absorbed in her investigation she didn’t even notice Rodrick next to her until he spoke.

“Committing it to memory? You might never be in here again,” Rodrick said with a small smirk. Nicole gave him a look out of the corner of her eye.

“I wouldn’t count on it, babe,” Nicole said boldly. She felt the warmth of Rodrick’s hand on her hip, and looked up at him. And his lips. She wanted to kiss him again so badly it was like a drug, her body telling her to get her next fix as quickly and as often as possible. Being in his space, the place he let himself be his most authentic self, was very intimate, even with Chris and Ben still arguing in the corner.

Rodrick looked away shyly, squeezing her hip once before turning back to the boys. Chris had evidently lost the rock-paper-scissors match to set up the movie on the projector, and was adjusting the screen on the far wall of Rodrick’s room, trying to find a website to pirate the movie from.

“If we’re gonna watch this shit let’s do it,” he said, settling himself in the beat up reclining chair he had, arms above his head. He should be illegal, Nicole thought to herself, making herself comfortable on the bed.

Which ended up being a mistake, because 20 minutes into the movie, Nicole was asleep. She felt a blanket being gently placed over her before she was dead to the world.

#rodrick heffley #rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick heffley x original female character #rodrick heffley fanfic #rodrick #diary of a wimpy kid #greg heffley #emo #rock #band #emoband #ratpack #summer #summer romance #fanfiction #rodrick heffley fanfiction

[writingsbychlo]

I really wanna know your opinion on Steve Rogers cause you have like really good and strong opinions that I like to read and I dont know if I like him or not, its kinda like a love/hate relationship yk

well that is a hard question. lets unpack it.

I think the endgame situation was fucking shitty. like, I get that chris had a contract that was ending, or whatever, but yikes it really through his character into a bad light. so, lets put aside the logistics and talk about steve as a character.

okay but also these are my personal opinions and if anyone comes for me over them I'm gonna spiritually dick punch them.

tfa. he's noble and his heart is in the right place but fuuuuuck something about him pisses me off. I do like his development, though. he has to come to terms with himself, it's a war, I get it. but, he very clearly has something to prove to the world. I don't hate him, but it's not my favourite steve.

aa; steve is a nightmare in this fucking movie. like, okay, we get the excellent progress of him actually becoming captain, seeing some weird shit, and having to come to terms with the modern world. however, despite the struggles that were really good, he was a wee bit too big for his boots. he definitely tried too hard to be the best man at the table. just chill, steve, everybody is coming to terms with some stuff, you're doin a little too much.

ws; okay, steve hit his peak so far in this movie. we love some good strong morals paired with crime. fuck the government. love that for him. also, he is actually in the headspace to sacrifice himself for bucky, it creates some real good storyline which obviously gets fucking abandoned by endgame. I like steve in this movie. he's not too bad, he makes a good speech and a new friend, it's calm.

aou; I mean he's back to being a bit of a wet-wipe in the beginning but I will allow it. the struggle comes and they pull together, I think he's getting a better handle on the 'captain' part of it, and actually being a part of a modern team. I don't have many complaints about this steve. at least, nothing that immediately comes to mind.

cw; immediate what comes to mind is the words 'get in the fucking bin' but I will explain. now, I try not to focus too much on the actual situation because I have always been a little undecided on which side I would take. I wanna' say tony, because like the mess they continually make? I mean, wow. but at the same time, fuck the government they don't tell me what to do. however, it all got a bit dramatic, steve knew what happened to tony and didn't tell him, tony most likely would have forgiven it if steve hadn't lied by omission. so, yeah, there's liar steve and the dramatics and their airport fight I mean, yikes. I love bucky too but let's just stop and think things through, steve. fuck.

iw; I will allow it. the beard makes me slightly feral. I would probably fuck rogue steve or whatever everyone calls him after a drunk night in a bar so there's that. also he fistfights thanos with his bare hands so I gotta respect it, plus he's getting about in the stolen flying thing I forgot the word but you know what I'm talking about. he just gives off all kinds of good vibes. I can rock with it.

e; tony dies so I don't have a single thought about anyone else except for him in this movie but bucky in the jacket does look good? no, I'm kidding I have strong fucking opinions. lol, got u. anyway, steve can get fucked like for real he's just gonna fucking dip like that? he's just gonna fuck off for peggy and ruin her life? WE KNOW SHE FOUND A HUSBAND AND HAD KIDS AND WAS HAPPY. he fucked that right up. also, he shaved the beard so I have no sexual attraction to him, which really takes from the 'I'll forgive you because you're hot' thing. I don't know. I just don't like endgame steve.

conc; steve is ok. he's not the worst character but like he's far from the best and the ending suuuuucked.

#ops.

[blkgirlcafe]

Professor Nasty Pt. 2

Professor! Florian Munteanu x Black! Reader

Warning: Rough sex, unprotected sex, cheating, undefined age gap, dirty talking, slight degrading.

I keep my description of the reader pretty vague, make her how you want, but she black fosho. I am trying to get better at writing from a Y/N perspective, so any constructive criticism is welcomed.

Thank you @dersha89​ for the inspiration.  Thank you love!

The Chinese food they ended up ordering was just being pushed around her plate. 

“What's wrong, you've been so quiet since you got here. Did he fail your paper again, dude can be so hard.” Fynn shoved fried rice into his mouth, bits dropping everywhere. 

“Just tired.” 

Fynn rolled his eyes, “Then go to bed.” 

Y/N stood, taking her plate and shoving it in the fridge. 

“I’m going home, you can play your game without being worried about me.” 

Part of Y/N knew she was taking her bad attitude out of Fynn not that he deserved it, she had literally cheated on him hours ago and now she was being bitchy. 

“Fine, maybe we can link when you fix your attitude, I didn't do anything to you.” 

Y/N didn't even stay to hear the rest, just grabbed her stuff to head back to her apartment, where she should have gone in the first place. 

Thank god her two roommates were out, she closed and locked the door to her room, not wanting to be disturbed. Y/N turned on her soft music playlist and tried to get some studying done, but nothing was clicking. She kept thinking about Mr. Munteanu and what had happened. She opened the text thread a few times, reading the message, trying to decipher things that weren't there. His message was clear and concise, he wanted to see her again. And Y/N wanted to see him too. 

So she texted him back. 

Where am I headed?

“Hello trick, you off in LaLa Land?” Chris waved her hand in front of Y/N’s face. 

Y/N snapped out her daydream, today was Friday and she was absolutely frazzled by what could happen tonight. He had sent her an address, one not far from the school, and told her to dress sexy. 

“No, just tired.” 

“If I hear that shit one more time, I swear.” Chris grabbed a fry from Y/N’s uneaten plate. 

“Well I am, what you want me to say.” 

“The truth, first you fight with Fynn for no damm reason, you been MIA all fucking week, and I finally track you down and you barely can string a sentence together. I’m not stupid.”

“You sure, cause you went back to Jason 4 times.” Y/N snapped. 

“Ohh that was low, you def hiding something chick. Let me find out.” Chris was staring her down and it made Y/N squirm. 

“Look I am sorry, that was low, my bad. But I am stressed, school, being away from family, being one of the few black women at this school, not being able to find decent hair products. I could go on.” 

Y/N could tell that Chris was not buying it at all. They had been friends since freshman year and they could read each other. 

“Imma let you slide, but when you are ready to tell me the truth, just know I am here. And Fynn getting on my fucking nerves, he keeps asking me whats wrong with you and how he can make it better.”

That made Y/N feel even worst, Fynn was trying his hardest to be a good guy and here she was out here being scum. 

“I’ll make it up to him.” 

“Hopefully with this that you ask me to bring.” 

Chris put a bag on the table, and Y/N smiled on the inside. Chris was the queen of dressing fly and sexy. She made anything look good. Whenever Y/N need an outfit she shopped Chris closet. 

Y/N had asked Chris to bring her dress and she had delivered. Y/N pulled the dress out, giving it a look. A blue mini dress that sparkled, it left very little to the imagination. This was a no bra type of dress, the straps super thin. 

“Damm this is dope, thank you.”

“No problem and I dont need it back, what is it for?”

“Going to surprise Fynn.” Y/N lied. 

“Pair it with those clear pumps you have and girl you will be looking irresistible. Promise. Look I gotta go, hit me up and let me know how it goes.” 

Chris stole a few more fries before blowing Y/N a kiss and leaving her to sit and wonder if she was making a good choice. 

Y/N checked herself one more time before she went downstairs to wait for her cab. The blue mini dress looked perfect against her brown skin. The twist out that she did had came out perfect, light makeup, a gold necklace with her initial sat center on her chest. Another coat of lipgloss and finally a spray of Rogue by Ms. Fenty and she was ready to go. 

And of course Chris was right about the clear pumps, they went perfectly with the dress. She looked great, Y/N snapped a quick picture before grabbing her clutch and heading out. Trying to sneak past her roommates was not an option, they whistled as she walked past, paying her compliments and saying how lucky Fynn was. 

If only they knew that Fynn wasn't the lucky one. 

The whole ride to his condo was nerve wracking, Y/N alternated between bouncing her leg and checking her phone obsessively. Part of her hoped he would cancel, and she could go see Fynn and make it up to him. 

The cab dropped her off in front of a high rise, she didn't know the going rate for a professor but she didn't think it was this. The place was nicer than she expected with a doorman outside. 

Stepping into the elevator Y/N knew there was no turning back, she was here and her panties were already damp and the possibility of fucking Mr. Munteanu again. The quickie they had on the desk was just a taste, a teaser of what it was like to be with a man. 

“You look gorgeous Miss Y/F/N” 

Y/N shyly looked down as Mr. Munteanu looked her over, he sucked his bottom lip in as he traced the hem of the short dress. 

“Thank you Sir.”

“Here, you can call me Flo or Daddy sweetie, come in.” 

The door closed behind her and suddenly she was pushed against the wall. Florian grabbed Y/N neck, making her look up at him. He kissed her, soft at first before aggressively overpowering her. Y/N hands landed on his chest, the feeling of the hard muscle of her hands. Y/N gasped when he pulled away, her chest heaved as she gulped down air. 

“This is going to be fun Miss Y/F/N.” 

“If I can call you Daddy, I'm sure you can find something better to call me.” she smirked. 

“Is that right babygirl, don’t worry I have all night to come up with names to call you.” Florian dragged Y/N to the couch, pushing her over the arm. 

Y/N ass was in the air, the dress which was already short, pushed up. Florian parted her legs, standing between them as he ran a finger up and down the wet crotch of her panties. 

“Guess I should call you slut for being wet already, I’ve barely touched you.”

“I’ve been thinking of you all week.” her voice was weak. 

“Good.” was all he said as he pulled her panties down. Florian kneeled between her legs, the first bite surprising her. Y/N squirmed and Florian gave her ass a light smack. 

“Let Daddy take care of you.” 

Y/N moaned as Florian bit and sucked her thighs, slowly working his way up to her dripping wet pussy. 

“I like to take my time baby, what's the point if I can't slowly devour you.” 

“Please…” 

Y/N was not used to this, Fynn was only her 4th sexual partner. Foreplay usually lasted a few minutes if she was lucky.

The first kiss to her wet core sent shivers up her spine. The professor slowly made out with her pussy, the sloppy kissing turned into his tongue slowly licking her from top to bottom. His pace was so slow and torturous that Y/N’s hips tried to follow his movement. He repeated the same move and his teasing was too much for her to take. 

“Please Daddy, more.”

Y/N pleas feel on deaf ears, he was enjoying this too much. Y/N gasped when he sucked her clit into his mouth, the small bundle of nerves suddenly over simulated. Y/N never felt a pleasure like this, he was being a teacher in more than one way. 

His lips released her clit, his wide tongue driving into her wet slit. Quickly diving in and out, Y/N rocked on his face. Y/N fist balled as her legs shook, Florian was being merciless, eating her with a passion that she never felt. Y/N was just paralyzed with pleasure, the way he changed pace from slow to fast, back to slow. The way he sucked her clit then tongue fucked her. He was a man that knew what he was doing, a skilled man. 

“Oh my God!!” moaned Y/N, the way the orgasm took over her whole body, she felt it rushing through her veins. 

Florian stood, his jeans grinding against her wet and sensitive pussy. 

He leaned down, kissed her neck before whispering,“ Do you want to know what I'm going to do to you all night?” Right in her ear. 

Y/N was still breathless from the mind shattering orgasm, that she couldn't speak, she just shook her head. Florian grabbed her hair, so that she was facing him. 

“I’m going to fuck you like a man should, you will never want a boy again when I am finished with you.” 

With one hand still tangled in her hair, something she would never let Fynn do, Y/N heard the sound of his jeans being undone. Her body still recovering from the tongue lashing that he gave her didn't have time to prepare for him or his thick dick. 

“Fuck!” they both said. Y/N from the way he stretched her out, and Florian from the way her walls wrapped around him. 

Florian released her hair, putting his hands on either side of her, slowly feeding her inch by inch, wanting to savor the feeling of her walls hugging him. Y/N didn't want that, she wanted all of him and now. 

“Please go deeper Daddy, I need it.” she begged, her nails dug into his arm. Y/N pushed back, wanting all of his thick length to be inside of her. 

Florian moaned, he promised himself he would take his time, but he couldn't hold back. He snapped his hips into hers, burying every last inch into her. Gone was the slow tender strokes, he pounded into her. 

“Give me a kiss baby girl.” 

Y/N turned her face to kiss him, but couldn't focus because of how he was fucking her. Soft kisses barely made it to his lips until he stopped moving. Florian grabbed her jaw and kissed her, tongues battling it out, he grinded his hips into her, watching her melt. Florian finally pulled away, resting his forehead on her back. 

Y/N felt surrounded by him, his powerful arms on either side of her, digging into the material of the couch. His chest against her back, she couldn't move if she wanted to, she was trapped and happy about it. 

Pain mixed with pleasure as his strokes sped up, both chasing their own orgasm. Y/N clung to him as her legs trembled and she let out a loud moan. 

Florian kept fucking her through the orgasm, he never experienced this with any other woman, wanting to completely consume her in each way possible. 

“Fuck, Im cumming baby.” 

His body went riding on top of her, as he released a flood inside of her. Y/N wasn't sure she would move if she wanted to, she felt drained of energy and completely happy. 

When Florian finally moved off of her, pulling up his boxers before sitting on the couch, Y/N stood on unsteady legs. Y/N looked around for her panties and bag. She fixed her dress, she could feel his seed dripping out of her. She had turned around to pick up her panties when she felt his presence behind her. 

She stood, panties in hand. 

He moved her hair out the way, softly kissing her neck, “You don't need them, I am nowhere near done with you.”

#Florian #florian munteanu smut #florian x reader #florian x black!reader #creed #smuttywriter