#like i hate tv ads too but at least it wasn't the same fucking tv ads on every single ad break?????????

[queenerdloser]

there's a lot of reasons to hate the way ad-based levels are now the standard starting level for streaming, but beyond just sheer blind hatred for it, it's also fucking annoying because they don't even have the diversity of actual tv ads. at least when you had regular tv channels you got like. usually a decent variety of tv ads coming your way and some local ads thrown in. with streaming services it's literally the same five fucking ads. i've seen the same ad for the same movie 40+ times because it plays at every single ad break. all this is doing is making me so homicidally irritated you're basically guaranteeing i'm never going to go to macy's or watch this stupid fucking horror movie about a pool. they're forcing us to watch ads and then they're making the ad-watching experience - already bad - even fucking worse.

#i finally gave up and decided to download criminal minds instead lmao i couldnt take it anymore #liveblogging life #im not joking about that horror movie ad it was on literally every! single! ad break! #also saw a LOT of amazon happy honda days and macy's #to the point where i now have zero interest in any of these brands. i've been so overexposed im just fucking annoyed about it #like i hate tv ads too but at least it wasn't the same fucking tv ads on every single ad break????????? #idk man i'm keeping netflix purely bc i do like having one (1) streaming option #but uh. i think i'm officially out of streaming outside of that. i already kind of was bc i only really have amazon prime & netflix #tried hulu. hate the ad experience. hate being bullied to the more expensive non-ad option. so bye hulu! #the main reason i like streaming is that i dont always know what i want to watch so i dont always have a whim thing downloaded #and it IS more effort to go and download shit if i dont already have it so it IS easier just to find it on netflix or w/e #but now with everything so spread out like... it takes just as much time to fucking find it anyway lmao #anyway the point is streaming sucks lmao

[fatefulfaerie]

It was years ago that you said this, buuuuut...can I ask you to continue on why Dreamworks is better than Disney?

Sure!

I have no memory of what I said before but it basically comes down to the matter of adaptation.

They both definitely have their values. Walt Disney and the company he created turned dark, unapproachable fairytales of caution into lighthearted narratives with hope and wonder. There is a lot of value in that and Walt Disney himself had a childlike perspective that, in tow with his team's inventive newness in creating animated sequences, really turned the tide for storytelling through cinema. No child was too old to feel like they could take part in it.

To me, the 1990s and early 2000s were a time of Disney creating and perpetuating the fairytale conventions that Dreamworks in its foundation seemed to actively try to dismantle. Again, both have their value, but at a certain point Disney became a studio that was churning out existing fairytales and Dreamworks flourished as a studio that took a different approach.

Yes, the Prince of Egypt was based on the Bible and How To Train Your Dragon was based on a series of books by Cressida Cowell but they made it their own in a refreshing way. There's also original concepts like Megamind and Kung Fu Panda that are just absolutely fantastic stories.

I can't speak for Dreamworks now since I stopped watching their movies after my dad left the company but specifically in their first 20 years, you had this company that wasn't afraid to go out of the box, make fun of the box, or even absolutely demolish the box. Sequels like Kung Fu Panda 2 and How To Train Your Dragon 2 are deep and soulful. They bring out a conflict in the existing protagonist that has to do with their past, which Disney didn't do justice until Frozen 2 (so good!)

I think Disney not only created this box for themselves but after their boom in the 90s they just became this money making machine. It was no longer about art-making. What fairytale can we do next? Here's this direct-to-dvd sequel. And now with the live-action. Do you see Dreamworks doing that? Not yet at least. They respect the the original animators and storytellers.

I'm not against adaptation. I get it. The old version is problematic? Fine okay. But if you're making it just to make it, what are you even doing? There's a huge difference between making a live-action version of a movie that's basically the same thing and creating something like Once Upon A Time (tv show, 2011, technically ABC so Disney but not really in their control as far as storytelling) where there are twists to the fairytales and something that is unexpected or has shifted. Something is added or detracted in an interesting way.

So yeah I guess when I say Dreamworks is better I'm referring to the fact that they have more quantity as far as substantive work that isn't an adaptation, and that even the work that is has something very human and special and unapologetically adult. A lot of animated movies these days treat kids like babies, and I was grown up treated by Dreamworks like an adult.

Of course there are exceptions to this and I hate when people generalize. Tarzan, for one, is something very different to the box and Madagascar 3 is pretty ridiculous. It's just in general, I really value Dreamworks setting out and honestly saying "okay so Disney is making money this way, but fuck that, we're gonna do it this way". We're gonna animate one of the darkest stories in the Bible, showing slavery and death and abuse without romanticizing it and add a tragic brotherly bond that was never meant to be. We're gonna have a protagonist in a fairytale that's a belching ogre who doesn't know he's in a fairytale and show a version of love that is the least superficial it's ever been in a fairytale (I think Shrek is also based on something now that I think of it but still). We're gonna make a cushy, cuddly panda this kung fu hero with a heart of gold who doesn't really question that a goose is his dad because found family. We're gonna create a protagonist with a lot of flaws according to his Viking island, but compassion when it counts, when he faces a dragon tied up and fearing for his life and, seeing himself, chooses mercy. We're gonna create a movie that makes fun of the archetypes of heroes and villains but turns out to accidentally be one of the best movies of all time (I'm not biased towards Megamind). You get the idea. I say Dreamworks is better because I can respect them. I can't say the same for Disney anymore. If Dreamworks starts doing live-action, this will change.

I hope that answers your question. Thank you so much for asking and sorry about the chaos!

Disney movies that are must-sees:

Cinderella (1950), Sleeping Beauty (1959), Mulan (1998), Tarzan (1999), The Princess and the Frog (2009), Tangled (2010), Frozen (2013), Frozen 2 (2019)

Dreamworks movies that are must-sees:

The Prince of Egypt (1998), The Road to El Dorado (2000), Shrek (2001), Kung Fu Panda (2008), How to Train Your Dragon (2010), Shrek Forever After (2010), Megamind (2010), Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011), Puss In Boots (2011), How To Train Your Dragon 2 (2014), Puss In Boots: The Last Wish (2022)

I don't know what the heck was happening on Flower Street in 2010 and 2011 but something about that year was REALLY GOOD. Yes let's make five movies in a row that a random character effects animator's daughter will absolutely love.

[anhed-nia]

When these posters first appeared, I could have sworn they were Urban Outfitters ads. The use of pussyhat pink to deliver the message that "this ain't your grandpa's slasher movie" was overly on-the-nose for me, and the row of sneering, identically-attired Bratz dolls didn't exactly scream "horror" or "suspense" to my ears. Unsurprisingly, I also hated this movie, which I found forced and highly artificial on the whole: a cheap attempt to put a girl-on-top twist on a classic title from an (allegedly) misogynist subgenre. But IS the new BLACK CHRISTMAS as artificial as I think it is? Or am I just far enough removed from the 18-to-35'ers to whom this movie was marketed, that I don't have any idea what might feel natural and inviting to them? This film, and others like it, are destined to make horror old timers convulse with disgust at what can feel like modernity being "shoved down our throats"--but as the wise old birds at Fangoria have been reminding us, just because new movies are no longer aimed at YOU, doesn't mean they're part of some kind of politically correct conspiracy to fuck up your favorite genre. It just means that there are new human beings in the usual target demo; their culture is different than the one you grew up in, they are different kinds of teens and 20-somethings than what you once were, and so the media landscape is necessarily changing. And like, I wholly accept that. But it doesn't stop certain things from feeling really manufactured to me.

ELM STREET's Nancy Thompson always felt painfully authentic to me, pretty, smart, a little dorky, but able to stand up for herself--and she was nobody's fashion plate. I felt the same way about Laurie Strode, and even though HALLOWEEN is so often identified as the root of all misogyny, I liked her friends, too, who were warm, funny, and charmingly ordinary, no matter what The Shape had to say about their lifestyle.

On the fantasy side of the fence, you find characters like BEETLEJUICE's Lydia Deetz, a figure of pure imaginary aspiration for little wannabe gothettes like me--but that aspiration, toward that kind of ultra-individualized presentation, was real, it didn't feel fed to me by marketers. (I mean, ok, so she's really Tim Burton's ultimate fantasy, but at least it was a fantasy shared between me and him, not so much me and him and an ad firm and their test groups.) A similarly exaggerated character is DREAM WARRIORS's Taryn White, whose idealized self is a blade-wielding punk goddess, and that definitely resonated with me as a kid. (Still does, ahem) It wasn't something I saw when I went to the mall or turned on the TV; it corresponded to a real longing, for real self-expression.

Actually there might be something about the texture of modern makeup and recording media that adds an extra layer of artificiality to this kind of thing, but the jury's still out.

My point is, I have no idea whether contemporary teens and college kids see the cast of a movie like 2019's BLACK CHRISTMAS, or FREAKY, or STRANGER THINGS, or FEAR STREET (the latter two are supposed to partially represent MY generation, ironically, but you get my drift I hope), and feel that they see themselves represented on the screen with a reasonable dose of realism. I'm not even speaking about any sort of identity issues here; I just mean the way these characters are fashioned, their verbal quirks, their attitudes. To me, in productions like this, all of the characters feel like they've been 3D printed by whatever factory populates CW shows, and their personalities are just as stiff and deliberate and programmed for "relatability" as that would imply. And THAT'S the kind of sensation that can make you feel like something is being "shoved down your throat"--not by the younger generation itself, but by marketing professionals who are trying to hook that coveted demographic as soon as they're old enough to hold money. But because I am not a part of that cohort myself, it's really not up to me to say whether these productions are as pandering as they seem to me, or whether they are much more genuine than I am personally able to perceive. Maybe the new SCREAM will give me more to chew on. Feel free to share you impressions.

[msmarvelouswinchester]

Last First Kiss

Summary - Jensen finally lets his feelings towards you known but it doesn't get the reaction he had anticipated.

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader, Jensen x OFC!Jessica (brief)

Characters - Jared Padalecki, Gen Padalecki, OMC Mark, OMC Luke, OFC Jessica

Warnings - Fluff, Insecurities, Bad dates, Implied smut, Language, Angst-ish, happy ending

Square Filled - Valentines Day ( @anyfandomgoesbingo ) Jared Padalecki ( @spndeanbingo )

Word Count - 2262

A/N - Written for my 500 Followers challenge

Request by @akshi8278 - Hi, once again congratulations on your 500 followers. 🥳🎉 Could you write number 23 and 25 for Jensen. It could be fluff/ smut, whatever you want. Thank you 😊 (I added a little bit of angst for the course of the story. Hope you like it!)

This is also a submission to @negans-lucille-tblr' 6k Roll The Dice Challenge

Unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine. Prompts are in bold.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

You trudged down the empty hallway, your body slumped with exhaustion and feet hurting from wearing the ridiculously high heels to impress a man who never showed up. The silence in the empty halls was deafening unlike the crowded diner which was buzzing with lovestruck couples on the fine evening of Valentine’s Day. When you reached his door, you were barely hanging in there. Hesitantly, you knocked twice, immediately cursing yourself for fucking up his Valentines Day as well.

“Y/N?” Jensen tilted his head in confusion at your dejected state. “What happened?”

“I am done with dating.” A stray tear rolled down your cheek as you replied. Jensen pursed his lips as he opened the door wider to let you in. He threw an arm over your shoulder, guiding you towards the couch.

“Mike was a douchebag.” He said, as you plopped down on the blue couch.

“His name is Mark.” You rolled your eyes at him, “I dressed up all for nothing. I am done trying to find the perfect man. I will get a cat and become a cat lady. At least it will show up when we have a cat date with cat food and pizza.”

“You can't just swore off dating because Macaroni didn't show up.” Jensen smirked. “You just haven't met the right person yet.”

“I got stood up thrice within a span of two months. I surely know how to pick them.”

“Sweetheart, I'm so sorry but I know you'll definitely meet the right person. It's just a matter of time.” He rubbed your arm as you snuggled closer to him. “Should we order takeout? I am starving.”

“Mhm. I wouldn't mind some chinese. I'm sorry that I fucked up your plans for the night.” You said.

“I didn't exactly have anything better to do. Spending time with you is much better than third wheeling Jared and Gen.” He chuckled.

“What am I doing wrong, Jay? Something is definitely wrong with me or the entire male population is a douchebag.” You sighed, as Jensen took out his phone to place an order in your favourite Chinese restaurant.

“Y/N/N, nothing's wrong with you and there are good men out there in the world.” He said.

“They are all taken.” You replied, nonchalantly.

“I'm not.” Jensen said and your heart skipped a beat at his words.

“Maybe I was too blind to notice it,” you wanted to say instead you blurted out, “You're my best friend, Jensen.”

His hands dropped to the side as he visibly tensed up. An unbearable silence followed the awkward conversation. You could barely look at the actor beside you who was staring off into the distance, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. Fortunately you were both saved from further conversation by the delivery guy.

You bit down on your lip to stop the yawn that was threatening to leave as you pretended to listen to the man in front of you complain about his work life. You hummed along to the man’s words as your mind reeled back to that night at Jensen's house. You still didn't know why you didn't speak about your true feelings. Even though his little confession didn't break you two up, whenever you used to hang out, a discomfort lingered in the air and so you had ditched the weekly movie night the day before.

After another painfully long hour, your extremely bad date came to a very fortunate end. As a sign of politeness, you had agreed with Luke, your date, when he had offered to drop you at your doorstep. With no promises for a second date, you had left Luke’s car after successfully dodging his attempt at a kiss. You sprinted across the usually empty hallway and found yourself in front of Jensen's room. You knocked at his door.

“So I was on a date and oh god, time wasn't passing by at all! Luke was such a boring guy. I surely do know how to pick the guys- and I'm so sorry I didn't come yesterday for our weekly movie night-” You rambled on as soon as Jensen opened the door without giving him a chance to pitch in his two cents.

“It's okay.” He finally spoke but his words were soon forgotten when you saw the half-naked brunette standing behind him, glaring at you.

“I'm sorry,” You turned your attention to the man in front and noticed the swollen lips, tousled hair and his unbuttoned jeans, “I didn't know you had company.”

“Next time try to call before you barge in complaining about yet another bad date.” Jensen grumbled, rolling his eyes before he shut his door to your face. You stared at the closed door, crestfallen as tears started to pool in your eyes. You made your way back to your room which was on the next floor in the same apartment building all the while wondering if your insecurities had really messed up a good friendship.

Jensen had neither heard nor seen you since he had closed the door on your face. He winced every time he remembered how rudely he had pushed you out of his apartment when Jessica was over. He was finally trying to move on since now he knew how you felt. Jensen was definitely hurt when you made it clear that you didn't reciprocate his feelings but he didn't hate you. You were still his best friend so it hurt when you had started to distance yourself from him, even ditching him on your weekly movie night. All that bottled up frustration had turned into anger when you had knocked on his door the next night to complain about your boring date but he still regretted the way he had told you off.

“Is Y/N going to come to Gen’s party?” Jared asked his tv brother during one of the takes.

“I don't know. Why don't you ask her yourself?” Jensen snapped as he went back to reading his script.

“What happened?” The hazel eyed actor frowned at his friend's behaviour.

“I haven't talked to her in weeks nor have I seen her.” Jensen grumbled.

“You two are like the Siamese twins and now you are saying you haven't even talked to her? Dude, what happened?” Jared asked. “Maybe you should talk to her.” He said after Jensen opened up about what happened.

“I have called her. Dozens of times. She is not picking up.” He scoffed.

“Gen is going to invite her I suppose. Maybe you can talk to her then.” Jared shrugged as they were called back on to set.

Jared was right about everything. You were invited to Gen’s backyard birthday party and so was Jensen. You had hesitated before you finally made up your mind to go to the Padaleckis' because you knew someday you had to face Jensen. When you had returned home that night, you had realised why no one was ever good enough for you since the perfect person for you was right in front of you but your insecurities had made you blind. You knew you had missed your chance when you had caught him with the brunette but what hurt more was when he shoved you out of his apartment.

Jensen had called you a dozen times but you hadn't picked up. You didn't know what to say and the longer you stayed away from him, your feelings for him grew stronger so instead you started to avoid him like plague, trying your best to move on.

The clinking sound of bottles behind you pulled you out from your deep thought.

“Hey.” Jensen awkwardly said.

“Hi.” You returned the same awkwardness.

“You weren't picking up my calls. I'm sorry for the other night.” He said, his gaze quickly dropping to the floor.

“It's all right.”

“No it's not. Then you wouldn't have avoided me.” He said. “I know things have been awkward since that night but no hard feelings. It's perfectly okay if you don't feel the same. I just want my best friend back.”

“I do feel the same.” You muttered quietly which made him look up to you. Jensen stared at you dumbfounded.

“Then why didn't you tell me?” He finally said.

“I panicked. I got scared because you know me, I don't do well with men and I thought if we didn't work out, I would lose you.” Your lips trembled ever so lightly as you stared into his green eyes.

“You won't ever lose me.” Jensen walked up to you, “Even if things don't work out relationship-wise. I will always be your best friend.”

“I don't wanna lose you. You're my person, Jay. So I lied not realising that I had pushed you away myself.” You said.

“I will always be your person just like you're mine but I can't fight this feeling anymore. I think I'm in love with you and I don't know what to do.” He said while walking up to you.

“Maybe you do know now.” He leaned down, cupping your face, his lips hovering over yours. You closed your eyes, feeling his hot breath fan against your skin but then you felt him pull back. You opened your eyes as you saw him stare at you with a look of regret in his eyes.

“I can't.” Jensen sighed.

“Why?”

“I have a girlfriend.” You gaped at him, heart broken into millions of pieces. Before Jensen could get another word out, you fled the scene.

“Hey Y/N.” Gen beamed. “Are you going home already?”

“Yeah I think I'm coming down with something. Sorry Gen. Happy birthday, again.” You said and wasted no time to get into your car and quickly drove back to your home.

Jensen had repeatedly called you since you had fled the Padaleckis’ house but you hadn't picked up. The first two days you had hardly left your house. You had been sobbing uncontrollably. You had bared your heart and soul to the man you had fallen head over heels only to get your heart broken.

You were lying on your couch, watching a sappy romantic movie when you heard a knock on your door. Pausing the movie midway you got up to open the door.

“Hi.” The green eyed man spoke quiet as when you opened the door. The sight of him brought tears to your eyes again. He was carrying a box of chocolate and a bottle of wine. “I would have brought flowers but I know how sad you get when they start to wilt.”

“What're you doing here?”

“I heard a guy hurt my best friend so I'm here with chocolates and wine.” He smirked. You snatched the box of chocolates from his hands as you held the door wide open.

“Sappy romantic comedy? Oh sweetheart, want me to kick the guy's ass? He deserves it. No one hurts my best friend.” He said as he pulled you into a tight hug. The intoxicating smell of his cologne finally breaking you. “I'm so sorry.”

“I'm so sorry too.” You sniffled as you looked up at him. “Our timings sucked.”

“It did. Can we start afresh?” Jensen smiled.

“What about your girlfriend? I don't wanna be your ‘slutty mistress’.” You said, quoting Grey’s Anatomy which made him chuckle.

“I broke up with her. I tried to date other girls to keep you off my mind but there wasn't a single damn second when you didn't cross my mind because I am totally, completely, hopelessly in love with you.” He grinned as he leaned down to kiss your cheek.

“I am in love with you too, Jay.” You said, “Kiss me.” Jensen dropped his head as he leaned into you, capturing your lips with his. His hands travelled all the way down your body before stopping at your waist. He gripped you tightly and pulled you closer, your hands landed on his biceps as you tried to steady yourself. His teeth grazed your lips lightly, making you moan into his mouth. Your hands left his biceps, hooking themselves at the nape of his neck, your fingers tugging at his hair, eliciting a groan out of him.

“Are you trying to turn me on or are you just that oblivious?” He growled into your ear.

“Is it working?” You smirked. Jensen growled once more into your ear before pulling away from you. He effortlessly picked you up, your legs hooking behind him as he went towards the bedroom.

Panting hard you tried to come down from your high as you felt him go soft before he pulled out. He placed a chaste kiss on your lips and rolled off to the side. His chest heaved as he tried to control his breathing, a soft smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Lost in an euphoric state, you didn't notice when Jensen had left the bed to get a cloth to clean you up. After a few minutes, he returned back to bed. You laid there in his arms, naked, basking in the afterglow of what was actually the best sex of your life. Jensen was tracing tiny, imperfect circles on your arm as a sigh of contentment left his lips. Your back flushed against his chest, smiling, you spoke.

“We might be each other’s last first kiss.” You turned towards, kissing the corner of his mouth.

“No more bad dates. No more bad first kisses. You're mine.” Jensen whispered.

“You're it. You're my person. My world is a better place with you in it.” You said, snuggling against his warm chest. “I love you.”

Feedback is highly appreciated!

#bees6krollthedicechallenge #jensen ackles x reader #jensen x reader #jensen x you #jensen ackles x you #jensen x y/n #jensen ackles x y/n #spn fic #anyfandomgoesbingo2020 #spndeanbingo challenge round 1 #supernatural fanfic #spn fanfic #supernatural fic #jensen ackles oneshot #jensen ackles #supernatural

[impossiblelibrary]

Today's rant brought to you by: Queer Eye Japan, can we all just try to be as kind as they try to be?

After watching the Queer Eye Japan super short season, I wanted to google to see the overall reaction to the show, make sure that my western eyes were correct in seeing the care that was given to the culture. Were cultural taboos, other than being outwardly gay, crossed? So I find this article in the top results and other than the perspective, why tho? Tokyoesque.com had an article with a higher reading level, with surface level appreciation but at least better written.

I can't get over this hate article though. Unfounded, dumb, wrong and incorrect. Do not go forward unless you like that blistering kind of anger from me.

But the reasons just get weaker as the article extends: "Hurts the country it set out to save?" Looking for white savior much? They did not go to save Japan, they gave some free shit to like 4-5 people, think smaller.

Their culture guide wasn't gay enough.

You want to suggest any lgbt insta models or celebrities, use your platform to raises some up?

"There is a growing sexless culture in Japan for married and unmarried people, and it is perilous watching Queer Eye present this without any context behind what is driving this behavior."

Sexiness is what the fab 5 embrace, unfortunately and it was probably discussed behind the scenes of how much talking about sex was allowed or polite and the conversation of not having sex is closer to the tip of the tongue rather than the feeling of sexiness. The West is not the ones blasting that information. It is across multiple Japanese printed newspapers and online stories by now and the "context" is still being discussed and debated amongst Japanese. So I don't think any outsiders should be weighing in or "explaining" this phenomenon. We can repeat what we have been told but guessing at the reasons is not our place. The reasons illustrated by the author of the article seem lacking, a take but not the only one, but who am I to speak on that being in a sexual relationship with someone who pulls from that culture?

Kiko begins to lecture Yoko-san on how she “threw away her womanhood” (referring to a Japanese idiom, onna wo suteru) by going makeup-free and wearing drab, shapeless clothes.

The mistranslation by the subtitles fixed by this author was necessary information. But Kiko didn't lecture her on it, it was brought up by Yoko before any of them arrived, that was her theme, that was what she had decided to focus on. Meanwhile, if you watched Jonathan, he understood there was no time to spend on makeup and skincare so provided her a one instrument, 3 points of color on the skin to feel prettier. That and the entire episode being the 5 treating her like a woman on a date, not trying to hook her up, which is what they did in American eps.

"In teaching a Japanese woman, who already struggles to find time for herself, how to make an English recipe, Antoni is making great TV and nothing more."

So Antoni shouldn't have taught her apple pie because it's too exotic for a Japanese woman. (Can you smell the sexism?)

He didn't make an apple pie, altho Yoko did mention her mother made that for her when she was a kid. He made an apple tartine after going to a Japanese bakery who makes that all the time. Then highlighted the apples came from Fuji in true Japanese media fashion. Honey, American television doesn't usually highlight where the ingredients come from. A Japanese producer told him to do that. So all worries handled within the same ep. She got Japanese ingredients, had the recipe shown to her and then made it for her friends in her own house. Did the author actually watch this show or nah?

"beaten over the head with his western self-help logic. “You have to live for yourself,” he says."

The style of build up the 5 went for was confrontational but in a "I'm fighting for you" way. It's hard to describe, but the best I can say is, a person has multiple voices in their head, from parents, siblings, society, and maybe themselves. By being loud and obnoxious, American staples right there, they are adding one more voice. You deserve this, you are amazing, you are worth it. I know this is against most Japanese cultural modesty, but maybe it shouldn't be.

Sarcasm lies ahead:

Apparently: mispronunciation is microaggressions, not just someone who had a sucky school system. Yea okay, They're laughing at the language not at how stumbling these monolinguals are with visiting another country. Mmhm. Japanese don't say I love you and don't touch and that should stay that way instead of maybe, once in awhile, feeling like they can hug. Yeah, let's just ignore Yoko's break down that she had never hugged her lifelong friend after hugging strangers multiple times. Maid cafes are never sexualized in Japan ever, just don't go down that one street in Akihabara where the men are led off by the hand sheepishly blushing. Gag me. And Japanese men love to cry in front of their wives and would never break down once the wife leaves. I have never seen a Japanese movie showcase that move. Grr.

"I identify as many cultures."

So you're a Japanese man when it's convenient for you to get an article published? Are you nationally Japanese or just ethnically or culturally?

Homeland is an inherently racist word?

"After the Bush administration created the Department of Homeland Security after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, a Republican consultant and speechwriter Peggy Noonan urged, “the name Homeland Security grates on a lot of people, understandably. Homeland isn’t really an American word, it’s not something we used to say or say now.”

Yes, let's use a Washington Post article rather than a etymology professor. Yes, the google search results increased after 2001 Homeland Security was used but the word has been around since the 1660s and I've read multiple turn of the century lit on white people returning to their homeland, i.e. the town off the coast they were born in.

"But" is not disagreeing. I think the repeated offender for the author is the not acknowledging the makeover-ees feelings. But, that is how LGBT have decided to deal with the inner voices that invade from society. They are just that, not our own, they are the influence of society, and we can choose, we have to choose, to be influenced by someone, anyone else.

Karamo can't speak about being black when an Asian is speaking about being Asian, even though the Asian gay man was feeling alone. It's called relating bitches, and I'm done with people saying that is redirecting the conversation, it's extending the conversation. That's how we talk, the spotlight is shared, especially when someone's about to cry and doesn't want to be seen as crying, time to turn the spotlight.

The gay monk wasn't good enough, you should have invited the gay politician.

Yeah, causes I'm sure a politician has all the time in the world for a quick stint and cry. They picked a Japanese monk who travels to NY because they had a guest who travels to the West too. Did you want him to stop traveling back and forth? Did you want a pure, ethnic and cultural Japanese gay man who has no ties to the west to talk to this Western educated young man? Seriously?

This is just not how it works in Japan.

Being in a multi-cultural marriage between two rebels, discussions on facets of culture are plenty in my household. Culture should be respected enough to be considered but not held on a pedestal like we should never adjust or throw some things out. LGBT being quiet and private for instance. "Being seen" was Jonathan's advice, and a good one especially for a Japanese gay man that was called feminine since he was a kid. Some gay men can hide, but as Jonathan said, he couldn't hide what he was, he couldn't hide this. So fuck it. Don't hide. It's actually more dangerous for a feminine man to come off as anxious rather than gay and proud. It makes you more of a target if they think you won't fight back. Proud means, Imma throw hands too, bitch.

This is also from the civil rights playbook going back to Black America: never hold a protest or a fight without the cameras, without being seen. LGBT have found the more seen they are, in media, in the streets, the better off we are. When LGBT Americans were being "private" about our lifestyles, we died, a la 1980s. They won't care if you start dying off if they never saw you to begin with.

And hence why I think the author's real anger is from these 5 being seen dancing flamboyantly in Shibuya, in Harajuku, afforded the privilege of doing this safely because of their tourist status, cameras and very low violence rate in Tokyo, loud and obnoxiously. Honestly, they wouldn't have been invited or nominated if they didn't want that brash American-ness coming into their home, just for a taste, at least.

Here's my real anger, my own jealousy: Japan's queer community currently does not have marriage or adoption rights. US does, so we have progressed further. But we are also not that many years from being tied to cow fences with barbed wire, beaten with baseball bats and left for dead overnight. If things are so bad over there, maybe take a few pages from the civil right playbook we took so much time to perfect and produced by the Black Americans who fought first. But so far, I only hear loss of jobs and marriages, which we still have here too. Stop trying to divide us, we are one community, LGBT around the world and we are here to try to help. Take it or leave it, it's not like we're going to go organize your own Pride parade for you.

Rant over? I guess. Is this important enough to be put in the google results along with his. Hell no, anyone with half a mind can see he's reaching more than half the time. And any argument about: this wasn't covered! There are a shit ton of conversations that are not covered in the 45 min they have. They are not a civil rights show, it's a makeover show, doing their best in that direction anyway. Know what it is.

Next blog post, what research I would guess was happening behind the scenes for each of the 5? I'm pretty sure I saw Jonathan doing Japanese style makeup there...

#queer eye #Queer eye Japan #original #rant

[evanbvckley]

SUMMARY: Eddie's parents come to Los Angeles and, finally, he can spend some time alone with Buck. He also has to keep a promise he made the last time they fucked, and Buck is eager to claim his prize. FANDOM: 9-1-1 (TV) RELATIONSHIP: Evan Buckley / Eddie Diaz WORDS: 5.4k.

Sequel of It wasn't a joke! [READ ON AO3]

Full story under the cut.

Two weeks passed since that shower, and things got surprisingly more difficult than before. Both Buck and Eddie didn’t want to tell everyone what happened between them, not only because Buck wasn’t a fan of telling his sister that he fucked his colleague in the showers of the fire station – Bobby wouldn’t love to hear that as well – but because they would have to file a lot of reports and documents about their relationship. And then Christopher, even though he loves Buck with his whole chest, isn't ready yet. Or at least that’s what Eddie thinks. Even after Eddie’s promise of “next time you’ll top”, they were never able to sleep together, let alone having sex. From long shifts to the impossibility to stay alone the time they need to have some fun, they continued by just staring at each other during work and off work. And of course, texting.

They never risked going to the other’s house and coming to work together: no one in the fire station must know. But Buck has no patience at all when it comes to Eddie, he has to refrain and stop himself from touching or kissing him. They both steal quick kisses from each other when no one is looking. He hates how he has to hide their relationship; it’s true that they are just waiting for them to come out as a couple – Buck is certain that everyone has their bet since that night and that kiss – but he understands that he has to. And he loves Christopher too as much as Eddie does, even if they’re sure that Chris wouldn’t hate any of that, they don’t want to drop the bomb on the kid like it’s nothing. Cause it’s not nothing. On the contrary, they want to be together every hour and every minute, they want to be able to sleep together and be themselves in front of everyone, participate as an actual couple to the dinners with the others and not act annoyed when everyone puts them side by side. It was actually funny the first times, now Buck is growing more and more impatient.

Both of them are looking forward to a night together, alone, with no distraction or whatsoever. No problems, nothing, just them. Luckily, Eddie’s family is coming to town that week and they wanted to take Christopher to the house they rented and spend the night with his grandparents that are never able to see him since they live in Texas. Eddie just had to be sure that the house was safe and that his parents had everything their grandson needed. Finally, the day has come, and Buck is excited too because he knows what that means.

“When?” He asks Eddie as their shifts are about to end and they’re alone to finish cleaning the fire truck, stealing glances while hoping no one would notice.

“9 pm. My parents are coming to take Chris at 8:15 pm but they always stay longer than usual, and usually, I don’t mind, but, you know…” He smiles and Buck follows with another smile. Yeah, he knows. He’s waiting for that moment since that shower, he can’t stop thinking about it.

“Oh, shut up.” Buck puts away the towel and everything else. The truck is now shiny again and looks brand new with that flaming red.

“Okay guys, we can go home now. See you all tomorrow!” Bobby’s voice echoes in the half-empty room. Everyone says goodbye at the same time. Hen calls Karen saying that she’s leaving at that moment to come home, Chimney does the same with Maddie.

“Do you have any plans, Eddie? Are your parents here yet?” Everybody knew about Eddie’s parents coming to Los Angeles for a week.

“Yeah. They’ll take care of Chris for the night to let me relax. It’s not that I never relax, but it will be nice for Christopher to spend some time with his grandparents. They almost never see him and since they rented an apartment, I thought that they would like it as well. I made sure they’ll have everything they need, it’s already prepared and in the bags, so they’ll just get to the house, take the bags, and spoil their grandson as they usually do. So I’ll have the house all for myself.” And Buck. Who is standing right beside him, in front of Buck.

“Any date tonight, Buck?” The shift ended pretty early, and Bobby, like the others, doesn’t really care about eventual dates Buck would go to. All of them take turns in teasing either Buck or Eddie about dates, relationships, girls they are seeing, and the like. Chimney already lost his bet, 4 days. Bobby wants to keep going for a little more since he said three weeks. Maddie is ashamed that they’re gambling on his brother’s love life, even though she would have said three weeks as well, Athena accepted the bet with Bobby. Even Karen made his bet, against Hen who said two weeks. Hen is the one keeping the money because she knows that she would have won the bet.

“No, not really.” It’s not like he’s lying, Eddie is not only a date anymore. They’re together.

“Okay Buck, see you tomorrow. And enjoy your night alone, Eddie!” He pats his hand on Buck’s shoulder and everyone goes home as the night shift squad comes in.

—

Buck is playing with his phone in his hand waiting for Eddie’s text saying that the road is clear. At one point, he just can’t wait anymore and opens the chat with him.

(8:49) Are you alone yet?

(8:52) Not yet. They’re leaving now.

(8:53) Okay, I’ll go get the car, then.

(8:58) They’re gone. I’m alone. Drive safe but be quick. (8.59) See you soon.

Buck never drove so fast while having everything under control, checking every crossroad, and stopping at every traffic light, but he is craving to have some time alone with Eddie and he can’t wait any longer. He gets to Eddie’s house a little faster than usual, he parks his car and immediately rings Eddie’s doorbell. As the man opens the door, Buck almost jumps on Eddie and closes the door with his foot as he literally smashes his lips on Eddie’s lips, taking off his shoes right after it. After two weeks of fast kisses that didn’t last even two seconds, being able to fully feel Eddie’s soft lips is driving him crazy. Finally, he repeats in his head. Eddie thinks the same thing as his hands grab Buck’s hips and he pushes him to the front door.

“We have the entire night, Buck…” He whispers, but he’s the one that can’t stop touching his man. “And the entire morning too. My parents will bring Christopher back only for lunch, we have to get to work at 8:30 am…” Buck smiles at the mere idea of having the whole night for them and them only. After having sex in a shower, knowing that this time they would have an actual bed for themselves and they could even sleep together makes him happy like never before. No one made him that happy in his life more than Eddie, no girl made him smile as Eddie does.

“Are you really making me wait?” No matter how much Buck loved the idea of having all that time available, he wants to claim his prize.

“Yeah.” Eddie laughs, locking the door and taking Buck by the hand, leading him towards his bedroom. He knows and remembers what he has promised to him. He’s eager too, he wants to feel Buck, he wants to feel him inside and see him towering over him.

“You bas—” Eddie puts a finger over Buck’s lips, and Buck shuts up.

“Shut up for a moment.” But he can’t wait either. Even before stepping inside the room, Eddie pushes Buck on the wall, licking his lips as his hands slowly raise Buck’s white shirt that barely holds his muscles. Buck can’t complain, to be honest, and he puts his arms between their bodies to unbutton the shirt until his chest is free and Eddie can touch it with both hands. Eddie’s fingers slide slowly on Buck’s skin and his fingertips tease the already hard nipples, pinching them and twisting them, something that gets Buck to moan softly. Buck gets rids of the shirt very quickly and while shirtless he puts his hands on the abs of his partner, pulling the shirt out of his pants and quickly starting to touch Eddie’s abs.

“You couldn’t wait either.” Buck chuckles. “I like it.” He forces Eddie to change position so he’s the one on the wall and Buck has full access to his body. He does the same thing Eddie did just a few moments before: he takes off Eddie’s shirt, throws it on the floor, and goes with his fingertips on his nipple, but then he adds his mouth. Buck licks, bites, and pulls them, making Eddie shiver. Eddie puts a hand in Buck’s hair, pulling it to raise Buck’s head so he can kiss him again. Then, he pushes his chest to make him fall on the bed, but as he comes closer to get on to him, Buck puts his bare foot on Eddie’s bare chest, stopping him.

“You promised.” He says, starting to rub his foot on Eddie’s body, going down on his crotch, pushing with his foot to see if his man is already turned on.

“I know. I’m good at keeping promises.” Eddie caresses Buck’s foot, as he looks right into his eyes. “You’re the top, tonight. In my house, on my bed. I want to feel yours while you fuck me on my own bed.” That leaves Buck a bit shocked and aroused at the same time. Eddie never used this language before.

“I didn’t know you were so eager to feel me inside you.” Buck starts teasing too, since Eddie clearly enjoys that game. “How much do you want me to fuck you, Eddie?” He asks, lifting his foot on Eddie’s pecs, slapping him with his sole, and bringing it then on his neck.

“I want you to fuck me in all positions and in this entire room.” Even though Eddie was kind of dominating during the shower sex, now he’s the one who looks ad Buck like a puppy ready to receive his orders. He grabs Buck’s foot again, massaging him and bringing it down again on his crotch.

“Undress me.” Eddie didn’t need anything else. He quickly gets his hands on Buck’s jeans, unzipping them and pulling them towards him to take them off. Buck’s briefs get the same treatment and Buck’s muscular, well-defined, and almost completely shaved body is right in front of him, sexy as the last time he saw him. To be honest, Buck has sent some pics to Eddie, especially when he was right out of the shower; and even if he never showed his dick in those pictures, it was clear that he was naked when he took them. Having Buck naked again and in front of him makes him almost drool. Buck stops Eddie from getting naked and slowly unzip his pants and lowers them. One hand grabs Eddie’s bulge, massaging it as the other hand pinches Eddie’s left cheek.

“Oh, fuck…”

“You’re about to experience the full top Buck experience.”

“You didn’t really say tha—” but Buck tightens his hold on Eddie’s bulge and his voice breaks as he talks, moaning and closing his eyes. Even if he’s the one topping, Buck loves giving head to his partners. And he loves Eddie moaning as he touches him. He grabs his underwear with his teeth, pulling it down and freeing Eddie’s erection. Without any hesitation he rubs his tongue on the head, holding the base tightly and massaging his balls at the same time. Eddie didn’t expect that at all, but hearing his moans it is clear that he is liking it. A lot.

Buck’s tongue moves slowly and making circular movements on Eddie’s head, jerking the cock with his hand as he focuses on giving pleasure to his partner. Buck loves pleasing Eddie. He always loved hearing his partners happy and moaning as he goes down on them, but Eddie’s moans are something different. Ethereal, he may say, if he’s feeling poetic.

“Buck…” He can feel a hand on his hair as he takes the whole cock inside his mouth, massaging his balls while the other hand goes back, on Eddie’s ass, grabbing his cheek. He could get addicted to Buck’s blowjobs. Eddie would like to move his hips and fuck Buck’s throat, but he’s not the one in control that night. And Buck seems really committed and focused like he has been dreaming and planning that night since that day. He actually has been. He imagined it all and planned every move, mostly, but the most important thing is to have fun and making it last, they both know that they don’t know when and where they’ll be alone together to do this. Buck wants to do things at his pace, take it slowly, make it last as long as possible, and make Eddie have his best orgasm in his life.

“Yeah, babe?”

“Keep going, please.” Buck smiles and stops, leaving Eddie’s cock twitching and covered with saliva since he doesn’t want him too excited, even though it would be cool making Eddie cum twice in the same night. Buck lays back and rests on his elbows on the bed, spreading his legs as his hard dick stands up.

“Suck it.” Buck smiles proudly at seeing Eddie getting on his knees quietly and obediently, opening his lips and immediately starting to lick the tip, taking it into his mouth. Then he slowly slides down, taking the whole thing in, while keeping his eye up to see Buck’s reaction and his expression, which could be explained with just two words: pure joy. Buck moans softly while he keeps his legs wide open and sees his cock disappear inside Eddie’s mouth. “You’re so hot.”

Eddie moves his head slowly and then faster, then he goes back to slow movements again, and Buck keeps filling the room with his moans. He puts a hand between Eddie’s dark curls, pushing his head down and forcing him to stay down with all his cock inside his mouth, touching the back of his throat, but Eddie doesn’t stop his tongue. It keeps rotating and twirling around Buck’s erection as he breathes through his nose; his saliva collects quickly in his mouth and drips down Buck’s testicles.

The warm sensation of Eddie’s mouth on his cock will never tire Buck: he lets his head go, so Eddie can go back at moving his head up and down Buck’s thick cock. The sloppy noises fill up the room accompanied by Buck’s moans, and both of them are getting more and more excited. They have waited two weeks for that, their balls are full and they are eager to be together for real. Eddie wants to feel Buck inside his ass, but having him inside his mouth is giving him pleasure too, even if he’s not the one receiving that blowjob. The taste of Buck’s precum on his palate keeps his body excited and his cock hard.

“Stop, stop…” Buck pulls Eddie’s hair, lifting his head only to see him with his mouth still open, the tongue out, and he can’t help but softly hit his tongue with his erection, then he rubs the tip on his face, wetting him with his own saliva. “Fuck, I want to cum in your mouth so bad.” This dominant side of Buck is something that Eddie never saw, but he loves it.

“Next time.” He laughs, licking his lips and caressing Buck’s thighs, softly rubbing his nails on his skin but with no intention of hurting him, he just can’t stop touching his man.

“Right. Next time. Now I want to taste you.” Buck pushes away Eddie and stands up. “Lay down.” Eddie obeys immediately, spreading his legs as he thinks that Buck wants to suck his cock again. “No, babe, not that part.” He pushes Eddie further on the bed and raises his legs so he can look at his hole, smiling as he looks at Eddie for a quick moment before burying his head between his legs. Even though he’s interested in his hole, the tongue starts moving by touching and lapping his balls. Then he bites Eddie’s inner thighs, making his man groan with pleasure. Buck lifts even more Eddie’s ass and spreads his cheeks wider, rubbing the entrance with one finger and then putting his tongue right over it. He shoves his lips on his entrance and the tongue slides in, pushing inside; it makes circular movements, then up and down, then again from left to right. Then the movements become like dots on the entrance, and then completely inside again. Eddie is helpless and desperate: with his legs up in the air he can’t even think about anything else than Buck’s tongue inside his hole.

“Fuck, you’re so good!”

“Thanks.” He stops just to say that, but then he goes back to his job. He licks the whole entrance, taking his time and having fun, kissing Eddie’s hole like it’s his mouth. After a while he teases him with one finger along with his tongue, rubbing it on the hole fast as he keeps on licking. The finger goes in, and then another, he puts them all inside and angles them up, reaching for Eddie’s prostate. Eddie’s moans get louder and louder, they fill the bedroom and even the adjacent rooms. But Buck doesn’t want to stop at all: he puts another finger inside him, and it’s starting to get a little tight, so that’s the opportunity to stretch him a little bit more, to make everything that is going to happen next easier.

Eddie’s cock just drips precum as Buck takes care of his hole so well. He touches Eddie’s prostate slowly so that he wouldn’t cum straight away, but he loves seeing his man moan and his body twitching, muttering intelligible words and sounds, but he can understand his name. It’s the only thing Eddie really tries to say correctly, but the voice breaking due to Buck’s fingers inside him make that quite difficult.

“Please… Buck…” Buck hears him begging and lifts his head up. He doesn’t know how many minutes have passed since he first put his tongue inside him, but since he’s begging either he wants to cum or he really wants to be fucked.

“Not yet. We have the entire night, remember?” And on top of that, both of them haven’t come in two weeks: he must be careful about how much pleasure he’s giving him. Buck has just started, and Eddie doesn’t know how much dominant and rough and kinky Buck can get. Satisfied with his work on Eddie’s hole, Buck steps away and finally, Eddie can put his legs down, but he doesn’t even have the opportunity to sit that Buck sits on his chest. His wet red tip touches gently Eddie’s chin, but Buck slides back with his body so that he can lean and kiss his man.

“You look so desperate…” Buck chuckles. It’s quite funny to him how much Eddie has changed since the shower.

“Just fuck me.”

“Eager firefighter. Calm down and kiss me.” Buck grabs Eddie’s jaw to open his mouth, spits in it, and then sticks his tongue inside it, grinding his ass on Eddie’s cock. Their tongue swirls. His tongue has just been in my ass, thinks Eddie. It’s so fucking hot. And he puts his hands on Buck’s back, helping him grind on his erection, and their cocks are rubbing one against the other, making them moan in the other’s mouth.

“Please…” Eddie tries again, just for the sake of it. Buck laughs and shakes his head, pinching Eddie’s bottom lip with his fingers and then putting them in his mouth.

“Suck.” Eddie’s look says just one thing: fuck you. But he sucks Buck's fingers. “You should know I’ve waited for this for two weeks and, babe, I had the time to plan. I have to take advantage of this time we have for ourselves.” Buck slowly stands up on the bed, so that Eddie can look at his man from under his legs, then he turns around and sits again on Eddie, but this time he rubs his balls on Eddie’s face.

“Take it in.” Buck forces his dick down Eddie’s throat until he can feel his nose touching his testicles, and then he does the same with the man’s erection, deepthroating it. Buck doesn’t care that Eddie has his mouth full, he starts to fuck his throat from that position as he sucks Eddie’s cock. It doesn’t last much, at least for what it concerns Eddie’s cock, because Buck is now seriously thrusting his cock in Eddie’s mouth, moaning deeply and loudly as he feels again that warm sensation. “I love your mouth so fucking much, Eddie.” He laughs, taking it out and sitting beside Eddie’s head, leaning over him in a perfect and steamy Spiderman kiss.

“And I love your cock. And your body. Every inch of it.”

“Every inch?” Buck looks at his feet, close to Eddie's body.

“You are not making me lick your feet, Buck.”

“I am the top now, remember?” He laughs and goes back between Eddie’s legs, but this time he just sits between his thighs, he is just playing, and he doesn’t actually want to have Eddie’s tongue on his foot. He is thinking of something else. His left sole goes on Eddie’s erection, rubbing it over it and pushing the foot down, and that is surprisingly good for Eddie. Even his moaning sounds very surprised, but he pushes his cock against Buck’s foot who now just keeps going, massaging his whole cock from the tip to the base, and even his balls.

“Now it’s all wet with my saliva, though.”

“I’m not doing it.” Eddie doesn’t even give him the time to think about it.

“Whatever, I didn’t want it.” And without a warning Buck shoves one finger inside Eddie again, just one, to prepare him. It’s time, he says in his mind, while looking at Eddie’s sweaty body.

“OH, FU—” Even if Buck didn’t want to, he doesn’t want Eddie’s neighbors to know he’s having the best sex of his life, and so he reaches for Eddie’s mouth with his foot to shut him up. It isn't the easiest movement to male, but Buck can now feel Eddie's lips on his toes.

“I thought you wanted this.” As Buck chuckles, Eddie pushes away Buck’s foot, but then he grinds his butt against his finger and moans louder, looking at his man. Buck takes away his fingers and gets on his knees, in front of Eddie’s hole, and rubs the tip over it. “Here.” He slowly penetrates him, and he doesn’t stop until he is all inside.

“Fuck, finally.” Eddie lets out a long moan, feeling every inch of Buck inside his butt. That feels so good, after what it could be more than an hour of teasing and foreplay. If Eddie were being honest, he would have even sucked both Buck’s feet if that meant that he could have finally had him inside; now that he is, he forgets about everything else.

“I want to hear the words…” He stays still, but still inside Eddie, who grunts.

“Fuck me.”

“And…?”

“Fuck me, Buck.” He loves hearing him moan his name.

“And…”

“Fuck me, Buck. Please.” Buck leans over Eddie and starts to thrust inside him, slowly at first but putting it more and more strength. Even though he’s going quite fast, he doesn’t give his all so that can last longer than usual. He knows that they’re both not that far from the climax, but he really wants to please Eddie with every move, every thrust, every time he goes back in, he wants to see the pleasure in his man’s eyes. And Eddie is already satisfying him, with his long manly moans and his muscles contracting, following the rhythm established by Buck’s pounding. Buck’s dick slides perfectly inside Eddie’s body. Buck alternates his velocity, from fast thrusts to slow and sensual ones, aiming at Eddie’s prostate. They are just one soul, even after all the things Buck did to Eddie’s hole, even after the semi foot job he gave him, when they have sex it’s the best thing they ever do: their connection is at its peak, they don’t even need to speak to communicate. Moans are enough.

Buck grunts heavily as he pulls out and changes positions, putting Eddie on his side and then laying behind him, lifting Eddie’s left leg and shove his cock back inside him. They never stop moaning even in between the change of position, and in that way he can kiss, bite, and lick Eddie’s neck and shoulders while he fucks him. Buck licks the sweat off Eddie’s body, then he bites him on the neck and even the ear lobe: Buck is hungry for him, he wants to taste him all, bite and lick every inch of his body, leaving marks, because he would really like to make everyone know that he’s his. While Eddie, who didn’t want any hickeys or bites, at that moment wants Buck to leave as many marks as he wants.

“You’re taking it so well.” Buck whispers to Eddie’s ear, grabbing his thigh with his hand and lifting it even higher. They both feel the pleasure rise quickly, Eddie knows that he’s close, and closer than Buck for sure.

“Buck…” He moans, warning him. Buck lets go of Eddie’s leg and puts the hand around his neck.

“Don’t come. Hold it.” He moans with a very commanding voice, and Eddie must obey. He nods, Buck smiles, deciding that he likes feeling his neck under his fingers he keeps the hand on it, choking him only slightly, as he breaths on the back of his head.

The thrusts are violent and rough, they moan together as one as the hold on Eddie’s neck becomes stronger. Buck moves his hand on Eddie’s hard nipples, twisting them and torturing his body while his cock now doesn’t have any more friction. Eddie is a moaning sweaty mess, his body keeps twitching every time Buck hits the prostate, and his toes curl up. So close. Buck takes his cock out again, taking Eddie and putting him on all fours, on the bed, with his pretty hole in front of him and thrusting in him again. From that position, he can pull his hair and lift his head, scratch his back a little, and while pulling his hair he goes back to fuck him until he hears his balls hitting Eddie’s ass. Eddie is finally used to it, there is no more resistance or anything like that, both of them are enjoying the most pleasure they had in a while and Buck can’t wait to see him cum all over himself. Eddie contracts his muscles as he’s at his limit, and when Buck feels them surrounding his hard member he immediately pulls out to get Eddie on his back and lift his legs. Eddie puts his ankles on Buck’s shoulders, opening his hole with the hands and helping his man coming back inside.

“Please…” Buck nods and he starts fucking him again with even more strength than before.

“Come.” He moans, grabbing his feet and thrusting inside him without any hesitation, without stopping; he wants to see his man cum and moan and cry for the pleasure he’s giving him. It doesn’t take that long.

“B-Buck…” Eddie moans, arching his back as he feels like his body is on fire. The pleasure is way too much to hold it in and he finally shoots his warm load on his whole chest: he has never cum so hard. The powerful orgasm ends with Eddie panting under Buck who is still fucking him, he hasn’t stopped a second even while the man was cumming, and he enjoyed every contraction of Eddie’s muscles around his erection.

“Fuck, Eddie, you look so hot.” Buck is close too, and when he realizes he’s about to cum he starts pulling out, but Eddie shakes his head.

“Inside.” He whispers, tiredly, and Buck nods. With a huge grunt and a loud moan, he sticks his dick all inside Eddie, releasing his load in his hole.

“Fuck, fuck!” Buck keeps filling him up. “Fuck, it’s so much!” They moan together, Eddie is now covered with sweat and cum, and he has it even inside his hole. Buck stays inside Eddie even after his orgasm has ended, enjoying the warm sensation of Eddie’s inside along his own semen that surrounds his erection, and then he softly kisses Eddie’s foot while they both calm down.

“Don’t come out yet. I want to feel you.” Buck can’t disagree, and he lets go of Eddie’s feet so he can bend over him and, while staying inside him, kiss him softly and slowly. Still hungry for more, however, Buck starts licking away Eddie’s load off his chest, swallowing every drop he can catch with his expert tongue, and then he goes back to Eddie's lips. That kiss tastes like saliva, sweat, and cum, and it’s the hottest thing Eddie has ever tasted. Even if they are done with it, Buck keeps grinding on Eddie, pushing his cock inside him as it loses its erection and becomes flaccid.

“It’s gonna take a lot of work to clean you. We made a mess.”

“We made love; this is not a mess. It’s everything I wanted.” Eddie grabs Buck by the back of his head and pulls him down to him kissing him again. Their bodies touch, Buck’s chest gets dirty with Eddie’s semen as they keep rubbing them one over the other. “You came so hard, I feel completely full.”

“Yeah.” Buck nods, licking Eddie’s lips. “I should make you eat it. It’s coming out either way.” Eddie’s eyes widen and suddenly he gets quiet. Buck smiles, reaching Eddie’s hole with one hand and collects some of his own cum with his fingers. After he is satisfied with the amount he got, he drops it right in Eddie’s mouth. Eddie swallows it all without making any sound, only a happy sigh after his mouth it’s empty.

“I was right, next time I’m filling up your mouth.” Buck kisses him again and lays beside Eddie. They both need to take a shower, but they want to take those quiet minutes for themselves. Just cuddling – even if they are dirty – and soft kisses. Buck puts one leg over Eddie’s lap and rubs their feet together.

“You kissed my foot.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you like it?” Buck doesn’t know how to answer that. “I wouldn’t mind.”

“Just a bit. I got carried away during sex, I think.” Two fingers softly caress Eddie’s jaw.

“I mean I did like the foot massage on my dick…”

“Don’t get me horny again, Eddie.” Buck laughs, shoving his face on Eddie’s shoulders.

“Look who’s shy now, after putting his foot on my mouth, licking my hole, and…” Buck laughs and puts a hand on Eddie’s mouth to silence him.

“Shut up.” He kisses him again, sitting on Eddie’s lap one more time. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Buck.” They kiss again and then go to take a shower together so they can go to bed. Naked, obviously. Buck wants to be able to see Eddie’s body all the time and vice versa, there’s no need for clothes when they are together. They keep teasing each other even when they are walking to the bathroom, as Eddie feels Buck’s load dripping down his leg.

—

The next morning, Buck and Eddie arrive at the fire station at the same time: they didn’t even think about the consequences of that simple action, especially since Buck has the same clothes he wore yesterday. The entire squad looks at them, and they are all smiling.

“What happened?” Buck asks, with the LAFD bag on his shoulder. Then he realizes. Fuck.

“You could at least change your clothes, Buck.” Hen laughs. She’s keeping the money.

#911 fic #911edit #buddie fic #911 on fox #buddieedit #dailybuck #daily911 #thebuddielibrary #userbecky #userthai #userchuffed #tarlosbuddie #userkourt #tusernikki #userlucas #tusera #userkimmy #my fics #evan buckley #eddie diaz

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Feeling broken' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

"Feeling broken"

Chapter Summary : Yirina is trying to deal with the aftermath of the disaster of the group's operations in Mall at the Pines

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3100

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More the days passed, more I'm starting to feel that every memories I will have, every moment when I will see someone I knew in my old past is going to make me realize that I'm just an fucking walking mess that is trying to reach their goal while avoiding the shitstorm falling on them. Seeing Freya again and like before, I was so stupid to still play my act of 'Bell'....someone I want to remove from my head but I can't control it, I feel myself obliged to do this part when I'm facing her and I had to stop it.

When I found myself in Park's arms, crying almost all the tears of my body, I was thinking of a lot of things : seeing her again and the ring of my own mother with her despite I remember well to have take it back in that memory. This was the first real thing, aside of my memories, that was linking me to my old life as a Perseus agent and I couldn't take it as Freya left with it, getting away with Stitch and Adler with them as a prisoner. I could have save him if Freya wasn't the person who tackled me down but it was too late for that.

After at least one minute I broke down, Park make me move gently against the counter of the arcade area, wanting me to have a breath and to calm myself. I squeezed my eyes a few times when I was sit, wondering if all of this was just a bad dream but each time time I was opening them back, I was still in that arcade with Park, knelt in front of me, wanting to know what happened in here.

"Yirina, please say something." She started after I didn't speak for a minute, still focused on having my head inside my arms before I decided to look at her with my face looking all pale.

"Stitch, he....he was there, he managed to have his hands on Adler and....I tried to distract him to help Adler but someone make me fly above the counter." I explained the situation, my voice trying to not break in the middle "That person, it was Freya herself." I added, my eyes were still filled with sadness, looking at Park who was troubled by it, looking away.

"Shit, what happened with her ?" She asked, looking at me again, sounding worried, putting her left hand on my kneecaps

"When she realized that it was me, she wanted me to come back home but again, I played 'Bell'." I sniffed, looking down with my M1911 in my right hand "Then, she showed me something that was mine.....my mother ring." I cleaned up the tears on my face with my other hand but even with that, they were still falling. "I was troubled.....and I let her go."

"You let her go ?" She wasn't angry at me....just confused on why I let Freya go away.

"I wanted to tell her but I couldn't do any harm to her."  I looked at my M1911 before I moved my hands to remove the mag of the gun. "If she stayed here, she will have been shot on sight by the others." I had the mag in my right hand before I threw it away from in anger. "I'm so fucking sorry, I messed this up."

"It's okay, don't....."

"Tell me...." I cut her as she was trying to recomfort me "Why are you never angry at me ?" I asked her because each time I do something that I suppose to be bad, she never raised her voice against me. "Please, why you're not mad at me right now ?" My question caused her to move next to me against the counter.

"I'm not angry because I can't be like this with you." She replied, getting her arm behind me, sounding sad. "You don't deserve to be yelled at, you are.....someone that doesn't deserve the hate of the others."

"Really ? For everyone else, I'm just seen as an Perseus agent that should die." I told her, refering to Hudson before I looked down. "I should have died at Solovetsky." I exclaimed like that, preferring to have avoided all of these shit on me.

"No, don't say that, please." Park said, moved, as she put her both arms around me, getting my head against her shoulder. "Please, I don't want you to say that." She added, resisting the urge to cry in her voice.

"I'm feeling so broken now.....a walking mess." I whispered as I moved my left arm on her chest. "I'm so lost."

"Don't worry, I'm here." She confessed, giving me a kiss on the top of my head. "We're going to get through this together, remember ?" She added, affirming my own words I told her days ago in that bed in the New Orleans, I nodded to her and I reinforced my grap around her, feeling like safer with her.

"Adler is now gone and we have nothing to help us." I admitted, reflecting to the situation we are now.....a fucking mess. "It's because of him we are like this now."

"I know." She agreed to me, thinking the same thing. "We really needed a bigger plan and now, Stitch got him." She then started to move to get up, offering her hand to me. "Come on, we should join the others to debrief." I took her hand and I got up thanks to her, mixed between feeling better & broken.

Before leaving the arcade, I decided to took back the M1911's mag I threw away next to a arcade machine, putting it back in my gun and then taking also the Krig 6 I had that was at the spot I was before Freya make me fly above the counter with her.  When we left the arcade, I could realize the state the mall was in now : in pretty bad shape, filled with bullets holes almost on every wall and a lot of bodies either from Stitch's guys or from the support team.

We joined the center of the mall, next to the Nova-6 barrels we discovered, wondering why they weren't blow up by Stitch as it was looking like this main goal in here : to do a terrorist attack and kill a lot of civilians but instead, they were still intact as two mens from the support team were working on them, trying to disarm them. Maybe that the guy in charge to blow them up was dead.

"So, anything new for Adler ?" It was Zeyna's voice that came from the store we were before I runned to the arcade, she was with Bulldozer at her side.

"Stitch got away....with him." I replied, crossing my arms, looking at the barrels as the two mens were disarming them. "I wasn't so fast to react." I looked back at them.

"Putain !" Zeyna breathed away in desesperation, getting her MP5 down for an moment.

"We lost Adler and a large of the support team is either KIA or WIA." Bulldozer added, looking at all of the bodies around us before he removed his riot helmet. "There's just us and a few men of the support team still breathing in here."

"We should have bring more men here." Park exclaimed, closing her eyes. "Mason, Woods & Sims should have come with us if Adler wasn't stupid in his head."

"I don't know what got into him." Zeyna said, curious about Adler's behavior. "Maybe his hatred for Stitch and the fact he thought that we will make the job done easily."

"It's because of him that we are in this situation." I proclaimed, almost angry inside of me and in my voice. "It's because of him we almost got ourselves killed." I added.

"Does this mall has a security room ?" Bulldozer asked, looking at a corner, precisely to a security camera.

"Why that ?" Zeyna told him.

"Maybe we can try to follow what Adler did after the shootout begin." He suggested as Zeyna started to think before she finished.

"Bien sur !" She said before she started to walk away in a direction "Follow me, I know where the room is."

"Radio me when you're done with the barrels !" Bulldozer ordered to the men that was with the barrels who nodded at him as we started to comply to Zeyna's order to follow her.

We left the center of the mall to follow Zeyna in the other side of it, passing through the few others standing men of the support team, trying to search for any other potentials survivors from Perseus and from their own mens. They were all looking troubled by the events, seeing that on their face, it was supposed to be for them, a simple mission that turned to a bloodbath, according to the multiple bullets holes and pools of bloods everywhere we were walking into we arrived in the security room, the only place that wasn't touched by the massacre.

There were multiples TV on a wall, each one of them, linked to a special camera inside the mall. Zeyna sit on a chair near a control panel to check if it was possible for us to rewind the events that happened during the shootout. After having some troubles with the panel, she finally managed to make the camera going back for us, rewinding them exactly just at the moment we were almost going to run.

"Camera 5, this is us before we start to run." Park pointed at the TV of that special camera, showing ourselves in group, our guns pointed in all the directions. "Okay, you can advance now." She ordered to Zeyna, who let the camera replay the scene.

"So, Adler threw his smokes on the ground and we all start to run." I said, observing the scene as we were all running. "But where's Adler ?" I asked as he was the only one who didn't run away

"There !" Bulldozer gestured to us the third TV. "It's Stitch running to the arcade !" We could see Stitch getting to the area with his gun in hand.....before we could see Adler going out of the smoke to pursue.

"So, instead to get into cover, he decide to go confront Stitch alone." Zeyna exclaimed, still not believing at the scene she was watching before she continued to show us the events. "There's two cameras in the arcade, we could see what happened." She added, getting our attention on the last two TVs : one camera overlooking the room.....and one overlooking behind the counter and we could see Stitch getting in cover behind it.

"There's Adler !" I said, seeing him enter the arcade before he start to fight with two men that was coming inside the room from another side. He managed to got one until the other was able to neutralize him. "And now, Stitch is moving." He got out of cover to join his men who were now holding Adler as others got inside the arcade.....and I could see where's Freya was going behind a cover to attack the person that will arrive soon....me.

"Look, it's you." Bulldozer pointed as I was arrived in the arcade until Freya acted and throw herself on me, making go above the counter. "Ooww." He snorted, seeing me getting jumped by her.

"So, Stitch's taking Adler with his men while you are fighting one of them." Zeyna told, looking at the two cameras, the first one with Adler getting dragged away while the other was me, fighting with Freya. "Wait, why did the person stopped ?" She asked, focused on the second camera, reliving when Freya removed her knife from me before I managed to grab my M1911.

"Why aren't you shooting her ?" Bulldozer looked at me, seeing me holding Freya in gunpoint but not doing anything at all.

"Listen, I can explain...."

"So, explain why you didn't shot her and let her go away !" He said harshly after cutting me and witnessing the moment where I let Freya go before the camera stopped by Zeyna. I took a deep breath before I leaned myself on a table, looking down.

"She....she was my old best friend." I replied, not wanting to tell them more even if Park know the story well, we couldn't tell them the truth entirely. "At my time in the KGB, I didn't know she was with Perseus....until now." I bit my lips down., trying to think.

"Merde, she stopped herself when she saw you and she was looking.....troubled." Zeyna exclaimed, rewatching the scene entirely. "What is she holding in her hand ?" She wasn't seeing the ring because of the picture quality.

"It was my mother ring, she said that I lost it when I defected and that she kept it with her." I proclaimed, looking at Park who was looking a bit sad from that. "I couldn't take it back." I then looked back at Bulldozer & Zeyna. "I'm sorry if I fucked up to save Adler, it's just that seeing her after all these times shocked me." I could see that they were mixed between seeing me as the one who fucked this up and also knowing that it couldn't be my fault, I couldn't tell.

"Listen, Yirina is not the one to fully blame in here." Park intervened in my thoughts, moving next to me. "If Adler had a better plan, nothing of this will have happened !" She added to them.

"I know..." Bulldozer whispered before his radio start to make some noises, he took it in his hands. "Yes ?" He asked, looking at us as he was listening. "Ok, we'll come back quickly." He then hang up his radio, putting it back on his jacket. "The support team has finished to disarm the Nova-6 barrels."

"And what's the other things ?" Zeyna questioned him, seeing it on his face that there were another thing.

"Hudson has arrived in here, he's awaiting for us and to say, he's pretty pissed off." He replied, taking back his M16 that he put against the wall before he start to walk out of the room.

By hearing that Hudson was here, I know that I needed to have my temper in control since Bulldozer told us that he wasn't so happy about it. It was obvious that Hudson was going to be pissed off by the events and what he heard but we had no choice to join him. I took a deep breath before I start to follow everyone outside the security room with our guns. On our way back to the center of the mall, there were more people alive, coming from Hudson team but all their looks were focused on me.

By their eyes, they were so confused to see me.....now, everyone in the CIA know that I'm well & alive thanks to Hudson, he couldn't keep it for himself, I can say. At any time with them, they could try anything with me and I'm going to make sure that it isn't going to happen and Park was thinking the same thing along the way, staying next to me until we arrived exactly at the center of the mall, finding Hudson in his typical CIA agent clothes, holding a satellite phone in his hand.

"You literally transformed an american mall into a battlefield !" He turned his back around to face us, looking angry at us. "And now, I have learned that Adler is MIA in Perseus's hand !" He added, giving behind his glasses, a deadly glare. "Do you realize what you have done today ?"

"Sir, we tried anything to survive but Adler has decided to go alone to face Stitch." Bulldozer said, confused, resisting the urge to maybe punch Hudson in the face.

"We just came from the security room : Adler preferred to face him instead of checking for our own safety." Zeyna added to his statement. "Grigoriev tried her best to save him but it was too late." She looked at me, realizing that it wasn't my fault even with what she saw.

"Adler almost make us killed because of his behavior." I exclaimed to Hudson who was sniffing at hearing me and seeing me too.

"I'm not talking to you, Bell !" He said loudly, making me move to face him, angry that he still saw me as Bell and to be frankly, he's not going to change with me. Park was there next to me and to be honest, she would have wanted to punch that guy really hard

"Who is Bell ?" Bulldozer asked, looking at me curious.

"Old story, better for you to not know about it." I replied, looking at him for an second before I focused back on Hudson. "If you want to finish the job, do it." I suggested to him, spreading my arms, meaning that I was ready to anything from him and instead, he backed down, rolling his eyes.

"Why are you here with us ?" He whispered to me

"Maybe because I want to kill Perseus myself but if you're too stubborn about me, then you're already fucked." I responded, giving my whole thought on him....literally. "I'm not the one to blame here and you know it well by yourself."

"So who's the one I'm blaming ? The only one that was taken away ?" I nodded to him directly. "We just lost our best agent against Perseus and I'm going to pull the fault on Adler ?" He repeated himself and I nodded again.

"You didn't just lose him, a lot of people died because of Adler's mistakes to underestimate the danger." Park said, defending my view on the situation, he looked at her with contempt.

"You, you better....." He was going to continue until his satellite phone rang, causing him to take it. "Agent Hudson's speaking." He proclaimed while looking at us, his phone next to his left ear. "Yes, she's here." He looked at Park precisely. "Yeah, I'm giving it to her." He then handed his own phone to her "For you !" She took the phone in hand as he start to move to get with Zeyna & Bulldozer.

"Yes ?" Park started as I stayed with her, wondering what was the deal with her. "Our operation in the New Jersey was an disaster, sir." She looked at me with an smile "Yes, she's with me actually." I was very curious, getting my brain to work about who would like to heard about me.....the MI6 ?....."I understand, sir, I will be with her soon......Semper Occultus...." She then finished by the MI6's motto I learned a few days from her before hanging up the phone.

"What's the deal ?" I asked as she was giving the phone back to Hudson before she looked at me with an smile, almost happy and relieved.....

"Looks like we are going to make an fly to London !"

#black ops cold war #bocw #call of duty cold war #cod cw #cod black ops cold war #cod cold war #fanfic #helen park #fem!bell

[delirious-comfort]

I promise you I wouldn't go 0 to 100 with you with those kinds of questions. Weirder than that? I'm starting to grow concerned for you if you draw in such.. colorful personalities like that.

You sound like a terrible influence, and I fully support that (because, same).

Oh gosh. I'm sorry you were bullied. Kids/teenagers can be brutal. I always thank my lucky stars that I went to schools with nicer kids. I was later told no one would ever mess with me because I looked like I knew how to fight - which I attribute to my rbf. I obviously don't know you all that well personally, but you seem perfectly delightful to me so it's hard to picture you being a handful.

Howard the Duck! I think I hated it as a kid. My dad really wasn't careful with the movies he rented for me. My sister didn't tell me it was awful, so I never added The Meg to my list.

Hmm, can't relate. I'm not that into muscles, so The Rock isn't my cup of tea, and I do fancy the gents as well (though not as much as the ladies, despite what my dating history would suggest). Watch a movie that prominently features a pretty lady (that kicks ass), and the identity crisis may be averted for a while. Sorry to hear that. Is there a way to put some happiness back in you?

Music. Oh jeez. I could rattle off what I like all day, but I'll refrain. Some of my favorites: St. Vincent, Sevdaliza, Allie X, Lisa Hannigan, Beirut, James Blake, Chet Faker, Leon Bridges. And so on.. What about you?

A little. I'm very over 2020. I shan't miss it, but I'm not an optimist by nature, so I'm not all that thrilled about 2021. Are you?

I would need more details. 1. Would I have books/music? 2. Do I get to leave the cottage? 3. Do I have to bring someone with me? And if so, how small is this cottage? If the answer is yes and tiny, I'm leaning towards no. 150k isn't enough to put myself through that. I need a lot of alone time - though exceptions do apply from time to time. I don't currently like anyone enough to share a space with them for a whole year. Same question goes to you, though. Would you do that for $150,000?

Ooh, we’ve entered scrolling era on the computer! I now need to scroll to see what you wrote! Exciting things. *claps*. Back when I wrote Shadow Haven I used to get a lot of anons because they thought I was super into answering questions like, “How often do you masturbate / Do you masturbate to fic / What is your favorite thing to masturbate to / You made me come twice with this chapter!” Okay, that last one isn’t a question, but definitely have been told that a few times. Although my all time favorite comment I’ve ever gotten was from this young girl who said she almost reached an orgasm for the first time but the fic wasn’t long enough xD Hm, bullying is a thread throughout my life. But yeah some kids can be absolutely brutal. Adults too. But that’s a sob story for another time lol. RBF is one of my favorite things. I’m glad you didn’t experience that in school, though. I don’t know if I’m all that delightful. I think I’m nice? That’s something lol. I’ve never seen Howard the Duck to be honest. The only Duck I know is Donald. Oh want to hear a funny story about a duck? One day when I was young, back in the olden days, in the 90′s... My brother came home with a duck once. He said it was injured and he put it in the shed. I do think it really was injured but I have no idea what was wrong with it. We had this iron tub in the shed that we put water in and within a couple of days he had shat all over the shed. But we kept him for quite some time I think, although I was young so it was probably like two weeks that felt like two years. Anyway, the duck got better. We named him Donald and then we put him back out in the pond near our house where he came from. You’d think that’s where the story ends. But tis not. So one day not too long after we released him back into the pond... They started to drain the pond because, well actually I don’t know why. My brother said it was because there was one of those electric eels that they needed to get out of the pond, which made us all scared to swim in and I’m just now realizing he probably lied about that. Dick. Anyway, big digging machine came, and I went to walk the dog and on top of the claw of the digging machine was a dead duck. Our dead duck. Which I could see from far away. Uhm. Okay so maybe it wasn’t our duck. But as a child I was fucking convinced it was. I sobbed and told my mom he had been killed. And she was just like, “Well, he had a good time with us, didn’t he!’ I was and perhaps am at times a bit... how shall I put this gently... over dramatic. Sensitive. A drama queen. I freely admit it. I don’t actually know a lot of those artists but I’m listening to Sevdaliza’s Human and uhm. I bet it’s a on a lot of x-rated playlists. Yeah I’m with you on the 2020/2021 feeling. I don’t even want to say it can only get better from here on out because was I ever wrong before!  This song is a bop. I like it. Goes straight on my current obsessions playlist. Okay, cottage details. I asked because it’s always one of those Facebook posts I see, but here’s some details.  Fuck. Details. Okay. I got this. Yes, you can bring books. And movies. And there’s a TV and a radio and a computer. Just no internet. I don’t know why. But there’s not. FB rules. Not mine. I’d need internet.  I’m suddenly getting a one-shot through into my thick skull. As if I am gonna write it. Ha.  You can leave the cottage whenever you want. You’re free to roam. Not a prisoner. Hm, it’s not so small that you can’t live comfortable in it, lets say at least two bedrooms, although my inner muse wants to scream, “And there was only one bed,” so hard. So original.  I suppose you don’t have to bring someone.  I think I could do it but I don’t know how beneficial it would be to my mental health. I already live alone, I have a tiny studio, and I hardly ever leave due to my health issues I’ve had this year. Although, on Fridays I get to go outside with my physical therapist and I am very much looking forward to that. Internet is very much my whole world right now. So I think if it would be taken away I would either thrive, or nose dive.  If I had to share the space with someone, I don’t know if I could do it. Depends on who it is, I suppose. Like, I love my mom to death, but her and I would kill each other within a week probably.  God this is a lot of blabbing. Oop.  Also I just saw the terrible influence thing. Yes, yes I am. I used to make my niece do tiktok’s to prank my brother but one day he got super mad. But too be fair I did have her pretend she stapled her fingers together with a staple gun. So you know. I had it coming.  You’d think all this typing would warm up my fingers, but my fingers are ice cold. Okay, here’s a question. What is your dream holiday destination? 

#Anonymous

[joonshadow]

"i'm not straight"

being in the closet isnt that much fun

or

namjoon comes out to the other members after hiding for so long.

/namjoon-centric fluff/

namjoon knew he wasn't straight for quite a while now but never told anyone, neither his family or his members. not because he wasn't sure about it, heck no, he knows for a hundred percent.

but coming out to yourself is really hard and coming out to everyone else in your life is even harder sometimes.

the leader always is open and accepting, never judging anyone. he has some not straight friends and loves them so much, couraging them to be open and happy. but being not straight himself is a bit different.

first, he could never be open about his sexuality to the whole world. its just the sad truth that an idol isn't supposed to be gay, they should be "normal" and appealing to their fans, who are mostly female.

which leads to the second reason; the hate.

as the leader of the group its his job to hold the members together and look after them. if he came out as gay, the media would go crazy and not just attack joon, but probably the whole group with hate and drama.

so no, being out and about isn't really an option for him. but for a while now he thought about telling his little "secret" to his members, his best friends who are like a second family for the boy.

-

turns out that trying to come out is nerve wracking as fuck.

all seven boys are cuddled up on the couch, watching a movie yoongi choose called "love simon" and eating popcorn.

namjoon is squished inbetween jungkook and hoseok, the youngest laying his head down on joons lap while his head is on hoseoks shoulders.

namjoons hands are sweaty, his heart is bumping hard in his chest and his throat is dry as hell. the blonde boy kept thinking over and over how he should say it but everytime he wants to say it out loud, he gets too scared.

its weird because he knows he will receive nothing but love and support from his friends, so he doesnt know why its so scary to actually tell them.

probably because his whole life, it was his little secret just for himself that no one else knew. so telling it someone else who obviously isnt him, is scaring the hell out of him.

and the time passes, the movie almost over and jungkook asleep on his thighs.

the first one to speak up wasnt namjoon, it was taehyung.

"i love this movie, its awesome. the two boys are so cute together!", the blue haired boy said with a sleepy voice and smiled at the other members, everyone agreeing with him instantly.

which makes joon incredibly happy. he doesn't know if its just something he feels or if its common among lgbt people, but everytime someone whos important to him says something accepting or nice about the community, his heart secretly bursts full of happiness in his chest.

"its late, we should sleep.", hoseok mumbled while carefully standing up, trying not to wake the youngest member up.

"youre right, hyung. do we have any schedules tomorrow?", asked jimin, who also was almost asleep next to jungkook.

seokjin told them all that they dont have anything planned for the next week since promotions are over and their tour starts in three weeks. everyone smiled because that means they would all be able to sleep as long as they want tomorrow.

namjoon brought some blankets from his room for jungkook who will sleep on the couch today because everyone is too tired and lazy to wake the youngest up and bring him to bed.

he carefully put them over him and tucked the sleeping boy in, kissing his head before turning off the tv and going out of the living room as quiet as possible.

seokjin and hoseok already dissapeared in their rooms, tired from practising their newest choreo all day long, while jimin and taehyung were in the bathroom and getting ready for bed.

namjoon did the same, telling the younger ones to sleep well and not to stay up too late before going to his room as well.

yoongi was his roommate, the two rappers sharing their room for quiet a while now.

the older boy was already in his bed when namjoon came in and crawled into his bed after changing into his pyjamas.

namjoon thought he was already asleep so he tried his best to be quiet and not make any noise to disturb the other. he almost fell asleep too before he heard some footsteps coming near his bed, his big blanket being held up and yoongi going under them.

it wasnt surprising since the two of them cuddle almost every night. but namjoon still got surprised as yoongi began to talk in a soft, calm voice.

"whats wrong, joon? i know somethings on your mind. you can talk to me, you know?"

is he that obvious? okay maybe he is a little bit tense lately, trying so hard to act normal but at the same time trying to find a good moment to tell his members about his sexuality.

after the movie was over today, he was kinda pissed at himself because he wasted such a good opportunity to tell them.

"i dont know what you mean, hyung. im just like always?"

yoongi sighed but besides that he just stayed silent. he softly caressed joons hair and waited for the younger boy to speak up when he is comfortable with doing so.

namjoons heart started to pound faster and he felt his hands getting sweaty again. maybe this was better than telling it everyone at once.

so he took a deep breath, tried to get his shit together and with a voice that yoongi almost wasnt able to hear, he finally said it out loud.

"im gay."

namjoon couldnt see yoongis reaction, wasnt able to read his face because it was pitch dark in their room and his back was turned towards the older one.

he started to breath faster, anxiety rising up in him because yoongi didnt say anything and for a second namjoon thought that he will hate him now.

but all his fears went away as yoongi wrapped his arms around namjoons waist and pulled him a little bit closer, giving him a soft kiss on his shoulder and smiled against his neck.

"hyung?"

"what?"

"arent you gonna say anything?"

"what should i say, joon? its no big deal,

i still love you. youre still the same person as before, you know?"

namjoon fell asleep a few minutes later with the biggest smile on his face.

-

"so for how long have you known?"

yoongi decided the morning after that just the two of them should sit together and talk a little bit. namjoon was more than okay with that which resulted in them sitting on yoongis bed, both with a cup of tea and surrounded by soft blankets and pillows.

namjoon told him everything, about how he found out and if he ever had a boyfriend, to which he sadly answered with a no.

"i dont know if anyone would every truly love me for who i am, you know what i mean?", namjoon said and looked down at his cup.

yoongi looked at the other boy and smiled softly, hitting his shoulder playfully.

"i bet youll find the perfect boy soon, joonie. dont worry too much about it."

-

this same afternoon namjoon decided that he should tell the other members too. it was unfair to just tell it yoongi and keep this big secret from everyone else.

its kinda hard to plan this kind of stuff since he is the type of person to back out on the last second. but after feeling so relieved from telling yoongi about his sexuality, he figured it wont be that bad to tell the others as well.

he went to seokjins and hoseoks room, knocking on the door twice and letting himself in after hearing a tired "yes?" from the inside.

there they were, sitting on their comfortable beds while probably scrolling through social media and stalking fan accounts. neither of them looked up, too concentrated on their phones and whats going on on the internet.

"hyung?"

both of them looked up after they heard namjoons quiet voice filled with anxiety, instantly putting away their phones and just focusing on him which, to be honest, didnt make this any easier.

"whats wrong, joon?", hoseok asks curious while standing up, taking his hand and pulling him over to seokjins bed.

hoseok sat right next to jin, which meant that namjoon is right in front of the two older boys.

nervously he was fiddling with his hands, taking a deep breath and thinking about what yoongi told him.

its no big deal,

youre still the same person as before

"i have something to say that i feel like you two should know, okay? its nothing big, at least thats what yoongi hyung says, but i just wanted you guys to kno-"

"are you gay or what?", hoseok said while letting out a small giggle, stopping the moment he saw namjoons surprised face.

"wait, youre really gay. holy shit, im sorry namjoon, i didnt mean to-"

"oh shut up hoseok, dont make this even more embarassing for yourself.", seokjin insisted and then just focused on namjoon, who was just hella surprised and a little bit shocked to be honest.

"yeah, im actually gay. thanks for ruining my big surprise", namjoon joked and smiled at hoseok, who still feels kinda bad and tightly holds joons hands in his.

the two older boys gave namjoon a big hug, telling him that theyll love and support him no matter what and reminded namjoon that theyre always here if he needs someone to talk to.

everything they said means a lot to joon and he is so happy to hear it, especially from the oldest member in the group. the two were always really close with each other so to know that seokjin still loves him just the way he is, means a lot.

-

"hyung?"

namjoon looked up from the pot with boiling hot water in it, making pasta for everyone or at least trying to. taehyung came into the kitchen and just silently started to cut the vegetables that joon already put out for cooking.

"whats up, tae?", joon asked while taking out spices from the cabin, tasting the sauce for the noodles before adding some more salt and pepper. hes not the best cook but still able to make simple pasta with tomato sauce without making everyone sick or burning down the kitchen.

taehyung put away the knife for cutting the veggies, puts his hands on joons shoulders and turns him around so that the two boys are facing each other.

"uh, taehyung? what are you doing?"

the younger one just hugged joon tight and buried his face in the taller ones neck, pulling him close. to say that namjoon was a little bit confused was an understatement.

taehyung began to speak quietly with a shy, almost embarassed voice against joons soft skin.

"i heard you, hobi hyung and jin hyung talk in their rooms. i shouldnt have listened, but i was so curious about what you guys were talking about. im so sorry, hyung."

he was a little bit confused but understood after a second whats going on.

"so you know?"

the blue haired boy nodded quickly and promised namjoon that he doesnt mind it at all and that hes still the best leader of the whole world to which namjoon just responded with a soft "thank you", a big smile and an even bigger hug.

-

the day is almost over, no one really did anything besides sleeping and eating all day long. days like these are much needed after stressful promotions and exhausting award shows.

the boys ate joons pasta for dinner, complimenting him on his "amazing" cooking skills and after that they all just dissapear in their rooms or somewhere else in the house.

it was already dark outside as namjoon sat down on their big couch, pulling his phone out and scrolling trough social media.

most of the fans dont know but all of the members love to look at all the different fan accounts and see what they say about their group. its fun.

around five minutes later he got a message from jimin.

jimin: hyung

jimin: do you want to watch a movie

jimin: just jungkook, yoongi and me

namjoon: sure

after hitting send, he made his way to jimins room, already hearing their voices and the tv playing in the background. he just went in there without knocking and got greeted by the sight of jimin making little ponytails with yoongis grey hair and jungkook eating leftover pasta from dinner.

"wow, looks like you guys are having a lot of fun without me", namjoon said laughing and just laid down on the bed next to jungkook.

"its boring just with yoongi hyung, most of the time he falls asleep during the movie and thats-"

"oh shut up, its not my fault that the movies you guys choose are always so boring."

both of them laughed after yoongi jokingly hit jimins arm, which hurt not even a little bit since he isnt really the strongest.

"what movie are we even watching today?"

"probably a bad love movie which jimin found on netflix after feeling lonely and sad again"

the next second jimin just deadass jumped on jungkook and both of them tried to push the other one down on the bed. jimin gave up a bit after since its unfair because jungkook is "way stronger and hes tickling him which is fucking unfair".

namjoon just laughs and sits a little bit closer to yoongi, the older one putting his arm around joons shoulders and pulling him even closer.

"guys, come on now. if you dont want me to fall asleep during the movie, we should start now and not just in a few hours when you two decided to calm down.", yoongi murmured kinda annoyed, he would probably rather be in his bed now.

after a few minutes the movie was playing on the big tv screen and all four of them cuddled up on jungkooks big bed.

namjoon couldnt hold back a small giggle after seeing that jimin chose 'titanic' and hearing yoongi and jungkooks annoyed sigh.

to be honest, it was actually really nice. a few minutes after the movie started, taehyung decided to join them too and just snuggled between jungkook and jimin.

yoongi couldnt hold back and after a while he was softly snoring on namjoons lap with messy hair and parted lips.

the younger one of the two just caresses the older ones hair, loving the way it feels between his fingers.

"did hyung fall asleep again?", jimin asked with not even a little bit of surprise in his voice.

namjoon just nodded without saying anything, he didnt want to wake up yoongi and taehyung, whos also sleeping in jungkooks arms.

maybe now is the right time to tell them too since they are the last ones who dont know about joons little secret yet. jimin is still looking at namjoon with sleepy eyes, smiling a bit.

"jimin, jungkook, i have to tell you guys something", namjoon whispered as quiet as possible, hoping the younger boys would understand him anyways since he would rather not say it twice.

"what is it?", asks jimin, now wide awake and looking at namjoon full of curiosity.

from jungkook he just heard a tired "hm?".

"im gay", he whispers softly.

he honestly expected to be more calm now considering he came out to so many people in such a short time. but hes still nervous, his heart beating fast and waiting for a reaction he already knows will be the same as all the others before.

"not surprising, hyung"

wait, what? namjoon was confused.

"what do you mean, jungkook?"

jimin just giggles and shrugs his shoulders. jungkook told him that it isnt really that big of a surprise since hes not that stupid and knows his hyungs well. namjoon wanted him to be a little bit more clear, so he explained why he always kinda knew that joonie isnt that hetero.

"you never had a girlfriend and neither do you really talk about girls the way, for example jimin, does. and since there were never any signs that youre straight, i just assumed you arent."

namjoon just laughs and sarcastically congrats jungkook on his smart brain and his skill on finding out peoples sexuality. jimin joins in too and after a bit they all just cant stop laughing.

both, taehyung and yoongi woke up from the noise, confused and tired.

"whats going on?", yoongi said so quiet that namjoon and the others almost didnt notice.

"namjoon hyung likes boys!"

after that, the three boys just started to laugh even harder, not even knowing whats so funny about the whole situation.

but theres one thing namjoon knows for sure.

and that is that hes genuinely happy right now, feeling so good after knowing that he doesnt have to hide anymore and that hes so so loved.

--------

you can find my other stories on wattpad @ smolouis

please leave feedback!!

#pls tell me how it is :(( #namjoon 💞💞💞 #bts #jimin #taehyung #ot7 #hoseok #yoongi #seokjin #jungkook #fanfic

[buzzworddotie]

The 8th Amendment Referendum in Ireland

And how history is being rewritten one step at a time

It's been a long time coming but on May 25th 2018 the people of Ireland were asked if they would like to amend the Constitution to decriminalise abortion in Ireland.

What's it all about?

Up until now, an Irish women who seeked out an abortion for personal reasons or medical ones was a criminal under Irish law. A woman would have to either travel to the UK or attempt to dangerously take abortion pills acquired illegally at home under zero medical supervision.

Or the alternative, for years, decades, Ireland and the stronghold held over her by the Catholic Church, would force girls and women into homes to have the baby. Often these babies wound up dead, buried away, hidden. Bones have been found in septic tanks.

Girls and women were treated brutally.

Secret pregnancies were also a thing, who knows how many women and girls suffered in silence?

Right up until May 25th 2018.

That's when we finally got to be heard.

Enough is Enough

I can't take a single piece of credit for getting this vote to happen but there are countless women who can. Women who have been banging on doors, demanding bodily autonomy, demanding rights, demanding choice. Finally the demand was heard, finally the government agreed to allow the people to make a decision.

The Campaigns

As soon as the vote was announced, I knew this was not going to be a particularly nice campaign. That's putting it lightly. In 2015 Ireland held the Marriage Referendum. An opportunity to change the Constitution to recognise and allow same sex marriage in Ireland. It passed, of course, but the campaign was filled with some uneducated, hateful rhetoric fuelled by the Catholic Church. Regardless of how much they wanted to deny it, hardcore religious groups and their followers were against that law with vigor and venom.

And I knew that hate would amplify for this one. I already knew what way I wanted to vote, I didn't need anyone to convince me either way, much like the Marriage Ref. But unlike then when I did tune into radio debates and absorbed the arguments, this time I made the conscious decision to avoid it as much as possible.

Marketing

Despite that it was tough to avoid, every pole, every surface available was covered with Yes and No posters. The Yes posters usually said something like "Yes for choice" "Together for Yes" or a simple "Repeal"...

Murals went up by artists like Maser, badges were made, Repeal jumpers and through the help of crowd sourcing the Yes campaign managed to gain more support for their message.

Our message.

On the No side there were an abundance of posters, I have seen images of feotus in the womb telling me babies will be murdered. Billboards across towns, rural and otherwise.

The whole thing turned into a massive marketing campaign. To a degree, on both sides. Paid ads on social media, Google and streaming services, posters... So... Many... Posters.

Social media attacks, hashags... I just didn't want to hear it. I know burying your head in the sand isn't a solution but I personally don't believe that an issue as important as this should boil down to who has the most money to promote a post or buy a billboard.

One thing I will say is that, at least where I have travelled, there was far more "No" campaign imagery than "Yes". Those were the ones with the billboards, the video ads that interrupted my viewing and I had to wonder, where was all this money coming from?

In the end Google and Facebook to the best of my knowledge pulled paid advertising on their platforms but there were other means.

Attacks on People, places and things

Another side of the campaign was the inevitable attacks. Digital rows blazed up as the concept of reasoned debate flew out the window. Some of the words I have witnessed being used against women on social media were beyond appalling, disgusting, shameful.

Were there bot accounts? Yes, there were. It doesn't take too much probing to see that and that minor exercise in investigation proved that really the "No" side was in the minority. It was clear but you could never be certain.

And by no means would I ever suggest the "Yes" side were entirely innocent, I just didn't catch the trolling by them.

"No" campaigners also attacked places, apparently in one constituency very graphic posters were hung very close to a school, causing uproar.

They also stood outside maternity hospitals.

Let me reiterate that, MATERNITY HOSPITALS.

They stood outside them holding graphic posters, other establishments too, but that one made me sick to my stomach.

Then on the stunning Benbulben, in my home county, a place I adore, they stuck a massive "NO" sign. For some reason this triggered me. Using the landscape of this country, which throughout history has been defined with feminine pronouns, to announce that women's rights were not of value was disgusting.

Photo: https://garethwray.com/product/classiebawn-benbulben-sligos-iconic-duo/

Not more disgusting than standing outside a hospital or plastering graphic and insensitive imagery around a school but a different kind of insult. As if they were claiming this land shared their voice.

What was even weirder was the fact the people who did it were practically a parody of themselves, announcing on radio that the men had put up the sign as the women made them tea and sanwiches.

This had to be a joke, right?

It's not funny

Truthfully though, this issue wasn't a joke, not to me or to anyone involved. This vote could actually be the difference between life and death for so many women.

By night, reports were coming out saying that the turnout to vote had been exceptional, people had been travelling back home from all around the country to take part.

Many popular Irish female voices had been so loud in their messages to push this cause, many Irish men got involved too stressing the importance of men getting behind women, taking a stand with them, recognising this is their issue too. Women should not be alone in this.

Soon we began to hear the results from the Exit Polls. First the Irish Times showing a landslide in favour of Repealing. It was something like 68% in favour, an insane number.

RTE Uses Us

The "main" Irish broadcaster, the state owned one, decided to announce their Exit Polls on what I think is supposed to be a late night chat show, The Late Late Show.

I found this disgusting and I didn't watch, because I never watch, because it's utter fucking drivel. But what RTE did was decide to use this campaign for their own ratings gain. They knew people would tune in and so they decided to, as far as I know, discuss how "Toxic Masculinity is a Myth", very fucking timely decision lads. As well as this they had some gobshite on NATIONAL TV talking about how she speaks to fairies.

Because heaven forbid we take a step forward as a nation.

Now, I don't know at what stage they announced the results but I do know that it wasn't before any of that other shite. Again, that was a calculated move and they will point to those viewing figures to justify the ridiculous wages that we fund for that show and it's (wooden) presenter. I'll pause that one right there.

History is Rewritten

In a move that has the potential to shock anyone not clued into who most modern Irish people actually are, the "Yes" side achieved a mammoth victory with over 1.4 million people deciding to Vote Yes, over 66% of voters.

And the 8th Amendment has been Repealed. I am so proud of all of us.

Photo: Maser, https://deandublin.ie/events/maser-exhibition/

What Now?

So where do we go from here?

I can never shake a Bell X1 lyric from my head in times like this. Fitting, given they are an Irish band:

"...History is written by the winners. And I want my say."

If we want to continue to create an Ireland that is just, inclusive, fair and reasonable we have to keep banding together and becoming the winners. The people on the reasoned side do not always need to feel like they are being walked all over.

That's how things have felt for so long, I won't even say in the past because it is still happening. This moment was monumental and something that, just like the Marriage Referendum, should be really allowed to sink into the minds of every single person who voted, the real power of what was achieved this day is epic.

We didn't just pop an X next to a box. We have literally changed the Constitution of this nation twice. We have asked to please get a chance to update this nation to reflect who we are and not to be bound to the decisions of the past, which maybe were the right decisions back then or maybe the alternative was too alternative. We had to crawl for a while, but we started to walk and now we have the chance to run.

I don't want our interest in matters like this to start and stop with things that are so clearly emotive. There is so much more to do to keep pushing forward.

And the further we move ahead the more resistance will be out against us but we can't turn a blind eye.

OK the 8th is Repealed, what can we put in place now to ensure any womelan who require ls a clinic is not harassed with hate on entry and exit as is the case in other countries?

And there are more issues outside of this.

We need to really strive to separate Church from state, the stranglehold the Church has over schools is poisonous. There are laws that exist that people are not even aware of, did you know that if you work as a teacher in one of the many, many Church affiliated schools and you do something outside of the Catholic ethos like sleep with someone outside of marraige, they can fire you?! Can you believe this shit!?

Then there are the other social issues including housing, homelessness, classism which are still very active and we need to fight back against those structures too.

We have to keep saying when enough is enough.

We have to keep looking out for each other, from all walks of life.

Sure, An Taoisach gave some really character defining moments during this debate but he and his party need to be just as active in helping people out elsewhere. Maybe it won't get them as much PR but it should and if they make the best decisions it will.

Simon Harris has been charming people during these debates. Is that enough? Is that all it takes? He is Minister for Health of a system that is simply disasterous. A system where hospitals are under funded, where women are being improperly diagnosed with ceverical cancer, where patients are left on trolleys, where I don't know if my own father is getting the best treatment he can be getting right now because I simply do not trust the HSE.

The rich are getting richer, you can barely afford a basic, single bedroom roof over your head. People, families are homeless. Maybe the few are doing well but I'd argue the majority are struggling still.

Prospects are few and far between.

Really heinous crimes have been committed, some very recently, against women and girls. A lot of them. These are issues too that need to be examined, there is an underlying problem to this that needs to be addressed.

Mental Health needs to be treated as a real issue with real, available and affordable treatment. People should be able to get counselling or therapy as easily as they can get the flu shot.

That barely scratches the surface.

Yes, we achieved something outstanding and worth celebrating but this should be the fire in our belly to ignite us to realise we can do so much more.

We don't have to sit back and take our lot. We need to keep demanding better from our leaders and our services from the extreme examples to the basics of decent roads, schools and water.

The water in my own home been undrinkable for nearly 6 months that we are aware of. And it could have been longer.

Honestly the Irish rail service Iarnrod Eireann's slogan sums us up perfectly, "We're not there yet. But we're getting there."

This country is moving forward but we can't stop demanding true equality, for everyone.

A chairde, comhghairdeas, rinneamar stair le chéile. Ligeann an treocht seo a choinneáil.

Is féidir linn é a dhéanamh.

#repealthe8th #repeal the eighth #repeal #ireland #eight #8thammendment #irish #vote #history #constitution #yes #politics #voting #church #simon harris #leo varadkar #may #change #marraige equality

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: You owe someone a pint, like Buster: What? Rio: Indie just got back from A & E Rio: Someone broke Drew's nose, apparently Buster: So it was broke? Good Buster: You can have that pint on me Rio: You what now Buster: You heard me Buster: I'm not about to toast myself, maybe next time if I go harder but Buster: If you wanna celebrate, you're welcome Rio: What the fuck, Buster? Buster: What's your problem? You were happy about it a second ago Rio: I'm not crying about it but Rio: why? Buster: Don't act like you need a list Rio: I thought you'd decided to leave it Rio: What changed? Buster: He didn't leave it Buster: Started chatting shit so Rio: When doesn't he? Hardly new Buster: When he's bleeding Buster: He's too busy trying not to cry then, like Rio: For God's sake Buster: What? Buster: You want me to be sorry now? Rio: This isn't funny Rio: I want you to think of an excuse for hitting him 'cos you clearly don't have a real reason you're wanting to share Buster: Oh so you wanna know what he was saying about you, is that it? Buster: 'Cause there's my reason Rio: Yeah, well I assume you don't want to tell Indie, or anyone else that could ask, that Rio: hence we agreed to leave it and him alone Buster: He's not gonna tell anyone that an 18 year old posh boy fucked him up Buster: It's fine Rio: It ain't Rio: there's something you aren't telling me Buster: You mean I ain't Buster: True Buster: But I don't wanna talk about it so unless there's any more you wanna say about Drew Rio: I don't care about him Buster: Good to know Buster: It hasn't been that long since we spoke last, like Buster: Would be awkward if you'd changed your mind that hard Rio: Is there anything I can do? Rio: Without you having to talk, like Buster: I don't know Buster: I'm just trying to have a drink Rio: Fine Rio: well you said you'd buy me one so where are you? Buster: The fam boozer so I'm guessing you're gonna want a raincheck on that Rio: What, you can't be seen with me now? Buster: What like we're best friends who drink together now? Rio: It's not that weird Rio: you just want to avoid the conversation Buster: It can be both Rio: Is Grandad there? Buster: 'Course Buster: So I don't need you sliding into the booth next to me Buster: My head's already wrecked without being that close to you as well Rio: Good Rio: Just tell me what's wrong Buster: There aren't words for it, babe Buster: I don't know what to say Rio: It's not gotta be poetic Rio: take your time but Rio: you're scaring me, like Buster: That's not what I want, I'm sorry Buster: It's just a mess. I am Buster: Chlo hit me up again Rio: It's alright, just let Grandad take you home when he says you've had enough, yeah? Rio: Right, what did she say? Buster: She's saying its not mine now Rio: Oh, babe Rio: It should be illegal to mess with someone's head this much Rio: What the fuck is wrong with her Buster: She don't wanna be associated with me so she's lying Buster: But I can't prove that until she has the kid Rio: Jesus Rio: Be honest, is it because of me? Because, you can change her mind on that Rio: I know I said it was a bad idea but fuck Buster: It's too late to change her mind Buster: You haven't heard the really good part yet Rio: I'm really sorry, Buster Rio: Now I don't have the words Rio: Do I even want to know, what could be the 'good' part of this? Buster: Don't say sorry Buster: None of this is your fault, I wouldn't play her game and I wouldn't have regardless of us being together or not Buster: You don't want to know but I had to hear it so Buster: And we tell each other everything yeah? Buster: She's told James he's the dad Buster: They are together now or some shit I assume Rio: No, it's all her, right Rio: It isn't yours either Rio: but this is fucking Rio: the worst, I didn't think people actually did shit like this outside of bad TV Rio: That would be hilarious if it so clearly wasn't Rio: even he doesn't deserve that, fucking hell Buster: Yeah Buster: Maybe it did happen? I reckoned they hadn't fucked since last Christmas 'cause he hadn't said anything and you know how he likes to chat but maybe it's different with her Buster: Fuck knows why but he likes her Buster: Or maybe he was just off his face too like she said Buster: Or maybe she's just fucking lying to me Rio: That's the fucked thing Rio: you can't trust anything she says Rio: and then she tells you two stories anyway so, is either true, neither, like? Rio: The worst headfuck Buster: Tell me what to do Buster: I can't handle months of this Buster: I don't even know how far gone she is now, like Rio: Does she? Rio: Maybe you talk to her parents? They have to handle this because she isn't Rio: If she's under 18 and under their care, they've got some sway, she can't just do what she wants when she's fucking up this badly Buster: Alright Buster: That's a better idea that anything I'm doing right now Buster: Trying not to cry in this fucking pub Buster: Turned into my fucking sister Rio: Understandable, more than Rio: Do you want me to come get you? Buster: I don't even know what I want Buster: I should be happy shouldn't I? Off the hook Buster: Like I could literally go to America if I want Rio: Because you don't know for sure Rio: all she's given you is more uncertainty and you're not a complete cunt like her so you're not fine not knowing Rio: You wanna do the right thing Buster: I should've hit Drew harder, that's the closest I'm getting to the right thing right now Rio: I think you're right he won't say, Indie didn't have a clue so Rio: don't worry about that Rio: you wanna go punch things? Buster: I'm gonna be sick is what I reckon Buster: Hold on Rio: Better? Buster: I swear she's gonna give me a stomach ulcer like its the fucking 80s Buster: Stressing me the fuck out Buster: I'm not drunk enough for this, I'll never be Rio: Get another drink Rio: I'd like to give you better advice but at this point Rio: that is the best you can do Buster: I've changed my mind, you should come Buster: Be here Rio: Okay, I'll come get you Buster: Stay with me Buster: It's the furthest away from Chelsea cunts we can be Buster: I fucking love this pub Rio: Maybe you enjoy it for a while longer then I'll come, yeah Rio: Don't need the added stress of that do you Buster: You're not stress Rio: I mean the stress of not being us properly, like Buster: We're still us Buster: Remember when we were little, we were always here 'cause our parents were always working Rio: Yeah Rio: Why I'm so good at pool, like Buster: And pulling pints Buster: You loved it, Nance was under a table if she weren't behind me, but you were in your element, like Buster: 2nd home for you and gotta be our 3rd Rio: Naturally, cheers for the stunning CV like, pops Rio: Shit was so simple then Buster: I thought it was so shit at the time, what the fuck did I know Rio: Well, always been a moody bastard Buster: Nah, you've just always been that annoying Rio: Rude Rio: I am a delight and always have been Buster: Whatever you say, babe Buster: Still waiting on you to come here and show me Rio: Just 'cos I was everyone's fave, soz I took your shine Buster: Nobody can say no that face that's all Buster: Same, like Rio: How're you finding the time to still be cute, like? Buster: It comes natural with you, that's what I'm saying Buster: Everyone's fave Rio: Shh Buster: You know exactly what you're doing, looking and being like that Rio: What are you chatting, babe? Buster: That you're perfect Rio: And that's all part of my master plan, is it? 😏 Buster: Yeah Rio: 'Course Rio: well, don't tell Buster: 🤐 obviously Rio: Good, you're not that drunk yet Buster: I'm not drunk Buster: I'm working on it Rio: 😂 Godspeed Buster: Come and join me Buster: I'm gonna keep asking Buster: You're not the only one who can be annoying, like Rio: You wanna awkwardly avoid eye contact that bad? Buster: I want you Rio: Then drink your drinks and I'll come get you Rio: you can't have me in the pub Rio: we can't talk either, which I know is part of the appeal Buster: so sensible Buster: it's hot Rio: Glad you agree, babe Buster: 😏 Rio: Remember, water, yeah? Buster: That's my line, baby Rio: Yeah but it's solid Rio: so take it, like Buster: Don't worry, it's handled Rio: Good boy Buster: Behave Buster: Talking like that to me Rio: 🤐 Buster: Don't act like you don't love it Rio: Obviously but Rio: time and a place isn't there Buster: it can be right now Rio: Nah Buster: Don't you wanna feel good? I do Rio: I know you do baby Rio: You will do again Buster: I hate this. I hate her Rio: Yeah Rio: This is horrible Buster: At least I don't have to tell Nance now Rio: That's true Rio: Any silver lining Buster: Yeah Buster: Dodged that bullet, cheers Chlo Rio: Yeah, enjoy not having her in your face for now Rio: 'til her parents can get this sorted Rio: it doesn't need to be all on you Buster: James of all people Buster: You're really gonna have to kick him off your stream now, he'll need all that cash Rio: Oh God Rio: what a pair Rio: could've gone my whole life without that mental image Buster: I'd almost feel bad for him if he wasn't such a cunt Buster: Don't worry lad I'll resolve this for you Rio: Yeah, wonder how he's feeling rn Rio: if it's even true, like Buster: Hit him up Buster: Sure he'd still love to hear from you, babe Rio: Play 2nd to Chloe again? You're alright Buster: Don't Buster: You never were Rio: I know Rio: just a joke Rio: also not gutted over the loss of James from the dating game, just in case you didn't get that either 😉 Buster: Good Buster: 'Cause from how he made it sound you had the best night of your life Rio: Oh James Rio: not a wistful sigh Rio: 😬 just nah Buster: Thank Christ I know enough about what you do like now to know it's such bullshit and not be jealous Rio: Yeah, that would really be a waste of your time, trust Buster: Been there, done that Rio: Yeah Rio: That feels like forever ago Buster: Yeah? Buster: I'm glad Buster: I really fucking love you Rio: Don't you think? Rio: It isn't really but a lot's happened since Rio: like I love you too Buster: Yeah Buster: Like you said, its one thing after another Rio: Yeah, won't tempt fate by asking what else but you know Rio: gotta be a limit, right? Buster: Regardless I need a holiday and we've just been Rio: Tell me about it Rio: Should've taken Nance up on her offer Buster: It ain't too late for a last minute trip, babe Rio: It is a bit Rio: 🎅 coming Buster: Like he ain't gonna know where to find you Rio: What about the fam tho Buster: I ain't saying you gotta go anywhere, you know he ain't the one bringing you gifts anyway Buster: Sit on my lap and tell me what you want Rio: Babe Rio: You're killing me Buster: Stop fighting it then Buster: I want you and you want me Rio: Not right now, I can't babe, 'cos you're trashed and even if you weren't, you ain't in the best headspace Rio: I'm still come see you if you want Buster: You can change that, you're the only person who can Buster: Give me a good mood Rio: Alright, omw Rio: remember where you are, yeah? Buster: I ain't no amateur remember Rio: Don't forget it, champ Buster: I've got a full 10 rounds left in me, babe Rio: 'Course 😏 Buster: You'll see Rio: Better not Rio: Best behaviour boy Buster: 'Course Rio: Very convincing Buster: Yeah I know Rio: Sure you've got the oscars speech ready, like Buster: I'll do it on the night Buster: Be alright Rio: 😂 Rio: Hot Buster: Like I said, yeah I know Rio: S'alright, I rate cockiness, as it goes so Buster: Glad to hear it, like Rio: What story do you reckon Ro is getting 'bout his busted nose Buster: 😂 Buster: Mugging for that watch he's still wearing on his wrist probably Rio: Forreal Rio: like hold up sis, this ain't adding up Buster: She's the stupidest smart woman I've ever met Rio: Wilful ignorance probably the least blissful but Rio: easier than dealing with the shitstorm I suppose Buster: Yeah Rio: I'd ask him but don't wanna give him any better ideas, get outta this one yourself moron Buster: Don't talk to him Rio: I'm not, he's just chatting shit Buster: About me? Rio: Well yeah, gotta try and save face after you beat him, like I care Buster: Tell me Rio: Not saying anything worth hearing, or getting mad about, don't worry Buster: Everything that comes out of his mouth makes me mad Buster: Don't start keeping secrets for him too Rio: I'm not, if you wanna know then you can but no need to bloody your knuckles over it a 2nd time is all I'm saying Buster: Whatever Rio: Don't be mad, I shouldn't have brought it up Buster: Yeah you should Buster: That's my fucking point Rio: It doesn't bother me Rio: I just ignore him Buster: Don't even fucking start me on that Buster: Seriously Rio: What Rio: what am I meant to do Buster: I'm not talking in circles with you about this Buster: You know the answers already and I'm mad Rio: If I thought there was a better way to deal with it, I'd be doing that so Rio: let's leave it Buster: Whatever Buster: Just keep leaving it for his fucking benefit, yeah? Fine Rio: Not his, everyone else's Buster: Bullshit. Who's it helping but him? Rio: Indie, Ro, their kid Rio: saving the entire fam from the aggro Buster: Nah Buster: They'd be better off knowing Buster: You're saving yourself 'cause you reckon they're gonna think you like it, nothing I can say 'cause I know better and I'm the most selfish cunt going too, but own it Buster: At least to me Buster: No more excuses, like Rio: You really think that's all it is, that I'm that selfish Rio: Fuck off Buster: I reckon it's closest to the truth, yeah Buster: 'Cause chat all you want but you're not saving the fam anything, just stalling and how is that better? Buster: Why would you wanna wait til that baby is old enough to understand or Ro's married? Fuck that Rio: So that's on me now too, yeah? Rio: She's turned a blindeye to worse and we all know it Buster: She ain't turning a blind eye to this though and you know it Buster: She doesn't know Buster: He ain't that stupid and neither is she Rio: There's nothing to know because nothing's going to happen Rio: Despite what you clearly reckon, I won't let it Buster: Fuck off, Rio Buster: Don't twist my words Buster: The intent is there, ain't that bad enough? Rio: What, like I'm special? Rio: Sure he's already cheating on her Rio: sorry I don't wanna be the other woman she can push bullshit blame on Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: She's not gonna blame you Buster: You're family, she loves you, she helped raise you, shut up Rio: Whatever Rio: I know how this goes Buster: No you don't Buster: And if Nance was in your place you wouldn't be saying whatever about it Rio: Well she isn't Rio: and it wouldn't be anyone but me Buster: Don't you dare tell me again that you asked for this Buster: Jesus Christ Rio: I didn't say it Buster: You're thinking it though Buster: That's so fucked Rio: You've said as much right here so don't act like you haven't Rio: or that everyone else won't so yeah, whatever, you're right Buster: I've never meant it though Buster: You do Rio: It's the truth Buster: No it's not Buster: It's so far from the truth Rio: Whatever Rio: I've got nothing more to say about it Buster: Fuck this Buster: I'm going for a walk Rio: Alright Buster: Yeah it will be, I'm not gonna punch anyone on my way out, like Rio: Good to know Buster: Besides, even if I did, it can't be traced back to you in any way this time so Buster: All good Rio: Don't be a prick Buster: Like you said, I can't act like I ain't Rio: When did I even say that Rio: This conversation is ridiculous Buster: 'Cause you're being ridiculous Rio: Me? Rio: Okay Buster: Yeah you Buster: It ain't me Rio: Blame me all you've gotta Buster: I'd be in good company if I did at least Rio: Shut up Buster: No Rio: Thought you were going for a walk Buster: I am Buster: I can walk and talk just as easy as you can tell me to fuck off if that's what you want Rio: Do what you want Rio: just don't fall in the river and drown Buster: Fuck that Buster: I'm not an idiot Rio: I'm just saying Rio: I'm glad you're so passionately anti-drowning Buster: Whatever you say, babe Rio: 🙄 I want you to drown now do I? Rio: Jesus Buster, the drama Buster: I've gotta keep up with this fam somehow, all about that competitive streak, you know Rio: Do what you must Rio: Not in the mood for playing Buster: Go back to texting Drew then Buster: 'Cause he ain't Rio: Don't tempt me Buster: Don't use me as your excuse Rio: Fuck off Rio: If I'm gonna get accused then I may as well do it Buster: Fuck you Buster: If you wanna do it, do it, don't act like it's about me Rio: It isn't about you Rio: I desperately wanna ride Drew, ofc Buster: Shut up Rio: Isn't that what you wanna hear? Buster: Don't Rio: Then why are we having this conversation Buster: 'Cause he wants to fuck you and you don't care Buster: Just fucking care about yourself Rio: Whatever, everybody wants to fuck me Rio: I'm everyone's favourite, yeah? Buster: Stop Buster: It's different and you know it Rio: Really Rio: I don't think we should go there Buster: Whatever Rio: Seriously, glass house, stones, not a good idea Buster: What the fuck Rio: You don't see the irony in that at all Buster: Obviously you do Rio: I'm not blind Buster: Say what you wanna fucking say, Rio, you ain't mute either Rio: I've said it but fine Rio: it's alright when it benefits you but now it ain't 'cos it's him Buster: Seriously Buster: Fuck you Buster: How dare you Rio: It needed to be said Rio: there's no world in which I can make a big fuss about this Drew situation and then out us, it isn't going to work Buster: No it didn't Buster: Don't talk to me Rio: Fine