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#like i'd like to know about this feature. Without Having To Make An Account To Find Out What It Does
fox-guardian · 9 months
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one thing about me is i fucking hate making new accounts
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AITA for faking my death to get out of an abusive relationship?
Tw for verbal + mental/psychological abuse and suicide
I used to be in a discord server with some friends, there were about 40 people in it, only around 20 who were actually active. It was a while ago I can't remember. I was in that server for about 4 months.
From the start, people would occasionally get mad at me over something I didn't do. About every month or so someone would start a rumor about me and make the whole server gang up on me, I'd tell them it was false, but everyone would still avoid me for the next couple days.
I never did anything wrong, but I was always the center of the drama, and when I asked one person, R, why, he said he didn't know and that I didn't deserve so much hate.
About a week later R was talking in the vent channel about how I had manipulated him. I DMed him to ask why, and he told me it was because I asked him if he was my friend. I thought it was fucking stupid because it's not manipulative to be paranoid, but I pretended to be sorry because I didn't want him to be mad at me.
The server also had a bot where you could submit anonymous messages, and lots of people would use that feature to make up things about me to ruin my reputation.
After a while I left the server and only stayed in contact with a few people. However, every couple days another person would tell me I'm a monster and gaslight me into thinking I'm a terrible person, and every time I asked why they hated me they didn't give me an answer.
My only real friend, T, showed me some messages from the others after I left the server, and a bunch of people were making up stories about bad things I had done to them, and people who I had never even spoken to were saying that I had abused them and was dangerous.
Once someone told me thay they understood all the things R had said about me weren't true, but said it was still my fault anyway, and even told me that R had done nothing wrong (he lied about me in front of the entire server and is the reason I lost all my friends, and he yelled at me and called me evil because I was suicidal), and then they accused me of faking having amnesia because I had flashbacks.
Eventually, only four of my "friends" hadn't blocked me, and they almost never talked to me. Everyone kept calling me a terrible person because R spread lies about me and everyone else believed him instead of me.
It was to the point where I couldn't go one day without someone sending me death threats or trying to guilt trip me with false information, and I was getting very sever flashbacks of the stuff R had said to me, and I started failing classes because I couldn't focus on anything.
Eventually I had had enough, so I tagged them all in a tumblr post about how I was going to kill myself and then logged out of both that tumblr account and my old discord account forever.
(Also about a month after I had left, I got texts from irl friends, and it turns out someone on the server found the contact info of people I knew in real life just to ask if I was dead or not. And that scared the shit out of me.)
I've left out a lot of details of the abuse because of amnesia. I have a mental disorder which makes it hard to remember things, plus the brain often blocks out traumatic memories, so I'm sorry if some info feels missing.
The only reason I feel like I might be an asshole is because once I was gone, all of them switched targets and started to harass T. They said they hated him for being on my side, and sent him death threats on anon because he was mad at them for killing his friend. They started treating him the same way they treated me, and called him a horrible person but refused to give a reason as to why, and if I had stayed around they would've left him alone.
@should-be-dead (made a sideblog so I get notified when this is posted)
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detailtilted · 8 days
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In Search of Supernatural Fans from the Early Years
Hi! I’m looking for the legends who originally recorded old Supernatural convention panels featuring Jared or Jensen, or possibly Misha. See "What I'm Looking For" below. If you know one of them, or if you're a member of a community with people who were in the fandom in those early years, I’d greatly appreciate it if you could let them know about this post. I can be reached at [email protected] or here on Tumblr.
If you aren’t familiar with my project, see the “Project Background” section below. This is not a low-effort exercise to merely repackage old videos. I’m putting many hours of work into each video to improve their watchability and accessibility. I will always credit my sources unless you wish to remain anonymous.
Even if your videos are on YouTube, I’m likely to have more success upscaling them if I can get the original video files. Thanks to the videos AgtSpooky kindly sent me, I've learned how big of a difference it can make when I have the original files to work with. That's why I’m putting more effort into finding those elusive original video takers.
The problem is that they all seem to have fallen off the face of the earth. Most of their YouTube accounts, LiveJournal accounts, and whatever other accounts I’ve dug up haven’t had any activity in 10-15 years. I’ve left a few messages on some of them, but I doubt they’ll be seen on dormant accounts. I’ve also gone down some crazy and twisted Googling paths trying to find current contact info for them, but without much success. In one case I even messaged the wrong person, who was at least kind enough to reply to the psycho asking for videos to let me know she wasn't the person I'd hoped she was. Oops!
What I’m Looking For
I’ve already finished CHICON 2007, Comic-Con 2008, and CHICON 2008, so I don’t need videos from those events, but I’d be happy to try to upscale your videos for your own collection if you have some you'd like to send me.
Actually, I could use CHICON 2008 Breakfast videos if you have any. I plan to attempt to redo that video either late this year or early next year.
I’ve been trying especially hard to reach people with original video files from either LA 2009 or Asylum 3 (2009), and I’d also be ecstatic to get some from LA 2008.
Any other old con videos you’re willing to share that have Jared or Jensen in them would be awesome. I hope to get to all the old conventions eventually. I haven’t yet defined “old”, so I don’t have a specific cutoff point.
Even if you just have audio files without video, those could be helpful too.
Length doesn't matter. Both long and short videos are welcome. Maybe I won't end up using them all, but the more options I have the better. Even if I don't put your video in my final edit, it would still be used because I always listen to every single video I can find when I'm finalizing my subtitles. Each video sounds at least a little different, and sometimes just hearing the audio in a slightly different way lets me catch a subtitle I'd missed or misheard.
Also, just to be clear, it isn’t necessarily my intent to exclude Misha. I’ve watched and enjoyed many of his convention videos and I liked Castiel for the most part, especially in the earlier seasons. I’m just not obsessed with Misha like I am with Jared and Jensen, and these videos do take quite a lot of work, so I’ve been putting my energy where my greatest interests lie. I’ll absolutely be including him when he’s in panels with Jared and/or Jensen, and in the future I may consider doing some of his solo panels.
So if you have original video files of Misha's solo panels that you’d like to send me, I’d be happy to add them to my stockpile for future possible use. If your videos turn out to be mostly complete, and if they upscale easily, then I might go ahead and do his panel at the same time I do the other panels from the same convention. If they'll take more effort to work with, I’ll probably skip them for now, but I may come back and tackle them if/when I run out of old Jared and Jensen videos to work with.
For any con videos you send me, regardless of whether I use them or not, I’d be happy to try to upscale them and send them back to you for your collection. I can’t always get things to upscale, so I can’t promise success, but I’ll definitely try.
Project Background - Enhanced Edition Con Videos
You can find my videos on my YouTube channel. (If you're already familiar with my project, skip to the next section -- there's nothing new to see here.)
I started this project in December 2023 to enhance old convention videos. My goal is to make them easier on the eyes and more accessible to both new and old fans from around the world. The videos on YouTube from that time can be difficult both to watch and to understand due to a combination of the older technology used to record them, the difficult recording conditions the fans were working with, and the lack of subtitles that make any sense.
I’m enhancing the videos as follows:
Visual Improvements: I’m upscaling the videos if possible, making color corrections if needed, and adding some slight stabilization to reduce the jitteriness. The end result is far from perfect because there’s only so much that current technology can do, but it's noticeably improved if you compare it to the originals.
Subtitles: I’m adding good, color-coded, English subtitles that can be turned on or off through YouTube’s CC button. The color-coding makes it more clear who's saying what when multiple people are speaking, and YouTube can auto-translate them into other languages to improve the accessibility.
Multiple Sources: If one video has gaps in it, then I'll try to find another that I can edit in to fill those gaps so the end result is as complete as possible. If I have more than one source that captured the same portion of the event, then I'll cut to whichever video I think had the best view of the action. In a few cases I’ve added a split screen with two different videos showing simultaneously so we can see action that's taking place in two separate areas. For example, when Jared and Jensen are on opposite sides of the stage. (There were also the infernal talking head bubbles on my Comic-Con 2008 video which nearly made me throw in the towel, but taught me a lot. 😅)
Extra Content for Context: These older videos don’t take up the full width of a modern video frame, so I’ve taken advantage of the extra space to display some still images with text to add extra context for many of the things they discuss. Some things are a lot funnier, or at least a lot more relevant, when you know exactly what they’re talking about. I clarify Supernatural episode references and pop culture references among other things. Sometimes I’ve also inserted short video clips, usually just a few seconds’ worth, if I thought it would add worthwhile clarity or entertainment to the topic at hand.
Current Project Status
If anyone has been wondering how I’m doing on my current video and what’s next… I’m almost done with the last video from CHICON 2008, which was Jensen’s solo panel. I should be ready to publish it on YouTube this Friday, May 24. I plan to use the same schedule as last time and put the Tumblr post up the following Tuesday when it’s a little more likely to be noticed here.
The next sequential conventions are LA 2009 and Asylum 2009, but I haven’t had much success in my attempts to upscale the available videos. If I were to work with what I have now, I know I could turn out something better than what’s on YouTube today, but the end result wouldn’t be nearly as good as what I might be able to achieve if I can get some original videos to work with. So I think it’s more logical to skip over these conventions for now and give it some time to see if I get any responses, in hope of a better end result.
I do intend to come back to the skipped conventions eventually, even if nobody sends me anything. Once I run out of conventions for which I can upscale the videos, if I still don't have anything better to work with for the ones I skipped, I’ll just do the best I can with what’s available. Even if I can't upscale, I can still do color corrections and stabilization, plus the subtitles and extra content. Some of these panels are split up into a bunch of very short videos, so it would also add value if I can combine them into something more sequential and cohesive. (I found 130 videos from the Jared and/or Jensen panels at LA 2009, and most of them were under 2 minutes long. 🤣) I don’t know if there’s enough footage to cover the entire panels seamlessly, but I’m itching to get my hands on that jigsaw puzzle of videos to try to make sense out of them.
So… the next videos I intend to work on will be from Vancouver 2009. This is one of the conventions that AgtSpooky attended and sent me videos for and they upscaled very well. Her breakfast video had already found its way onto YouTube, but wasn't properly credited. Her main panel videos aren't on YouTube as far as I could find, so that version may be new to newer fans. I'm only just starting to play around with upscaling the other sources out there, but my first attempt at the other main Breakfast source came out well. Both breakfast videos were taken from extreme opposite angles, so that should provide some useful editing opportunities. I’d still love to get more videos of this event if anyone has them.
If you made it this far, I am in awe. Sorry for putting this wall of text on your screen! 😅
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lindwurmkai · 7 months
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hey, have you heard that pillowfort has ✨ drafts ✨ now? (as in, the ability to save your posts as drafts.) they're still working on the queue feature (update: it's done!), but drafts are a big step forward!
in case you missed it so far, pillowfort is like a cross between tumblr and dreamwidth/livejournal, with a simplified dashboard reminiscent of old school tumblr and some classic livejournal features such as communities, threaded comments, and the ability to make individual posts followers-only or mutuals-only.
what are communities? basically, central hubs for posts about any subject you want that, unlike hashtags, can be moderated. they may have rules, such as "[subject matter] must be tagged" for example. you can post directly to a community or reblog existing posts to it!
since the site is currently experiencing some financial trouble, i thought i'd help out by spreading the word once again.
edit: the fundraiser was a success! crisis averted! i knew we could do it :D
why you should give pillowfort a chance:
no ads
no venture capitalist funding
no spying on the users
completely free to use except for optional premium features
nsfw is allowed except for sexual depictions of minors. if you're unsure what exactly that means, their tos may help
communities and the privacy controls mentioned above are excellent features
great community, low drama compared to other websites (so far)
the site's features themselves encourage genuine connection and good-faith conversation over endless "discourse"
every blog can automatically be filtered by original posts only or reblogs only
reasons not to join:
if you enjoy algorithmic social media. there is no algorithm at all
if you want to post or look at machine-generated art. they're still finalising the wording and personally i hope some exception will be made for models trained on ethically sourced images, but basically an anti-AI rule is in the works (update: finished!)
if you cannot live without reblog additions (reblogging with comment). all discussions on a pillowfort post take place in the comments section, and only your own followers see your tags. this has its pros and cons for sure! a similar feature to scratch that itch may be implemented in the future, but it will never be exactly like on tumblr.
if you need everything to be an app. the website works fine in a mobile browser and a progressive web app will hopefully be released soon (basically it's like an app in your browser and on mobile these can be added to the homescreen like real apps i think? they have push notifications!), but there's not going to be a native app available through official app stores due to the restrictions of those stores.
other factors to consider:
yes, the userbase is still small. depending on your interests, activity may be very slow. but we can change that! and on the plus side, reblogging your post to a community is a good way to easily get more eyes on it; way more effective than simply adding tags imo
the site culture is a bit different than on tumblr. many people read everything that's been posted since the last time they were online and don't follow more users/communities than they can keep up with. it's still somewhat lacking in shitposts and heavy on "essays" but don't be afraid to post whatever 😅
there are no blog themes like we have them on tumblr as yet, but you can customise your blog's colours and use html/insert links and images in your blog description
likes literally do nothing except to let OP know you enjoyed their post. you can't look at a list of all your likes. beware!
the staff is small and development is slow. some highly anticipated planned features other than the aforementioned queue include: - multi-account management - dashboard filters/reading lists - post bookmarking (since likes don't work that way) but we don't know how soon any of those will be implemented.
there is a user-developed browser extension (well, a userscript) called tassel available that adds additional features much like tumblr's beloved xkit :)
✨ okay, so how do i sign up? ✨
if you're interested but confused by the sign-up process or still under the impression that you need to pay to sign up (false), i'll put some clarifications and invite codes under the read more below. plus a note on donating, premium features, the paypal issue etc.
in a nutshell:
it's free
signing up without an invite code is possible, but you may have to wait a short while - supposedly less than an hour atm. just submit your email to the waitlist
if you don't feel like waiting, you can either use an invite code from an existing user or pay $5 to sign up instantly
every user gets plenty of invite codes and we're all willing to hand them out at the drop of a hat. they're really not hard to come by
some invites to get you started (just click the link):
invite 1 ▪ invite 2 ▪ invite 3 ▪ invite 4 ▪ invite 5
invite 6 ▪ invite 7 ▪ invite 8 ▪ invite 9 ▪ invite 10
invite 11 ▪ invite 12 ▪ invite 13 ▪ invite 14 ▪ invite 15
invite 16 ▪ invite 17 ▪ invite 18 ▪ invite 19 ▪ invite 20
i'll try to periodically check if any have been used and cross those out.
...paypal issue?
ok so paypal doesn't like working with sites that allow nsfw. as a result, you need a credit card in order to donate to pillowfort, buy one of those insta-registration keys, or subscribe to premium features*. i personally happen to have a credit card and would be willing to help out anyone who trusts me enough to send the money to me via paypal, but i realise chances are only my friends will do this.
some users are currently organising various activities for the purpose of letting people who only have paypal contribute to the site's survival. it's not super relevant for new users and won't get you access to premium features, but i thought i'd mention it anyway in case someone loves the concept of the site so much they want to support it immediately. a fundraising community has been created to collect posts of that nature!
*premium features are strictly limited to two categories of things:
fun little extras that no one truly needs
higher image upload limits, because obviously big images take up bandwidth and are therefore a reason for increased costs
you will never need to pay for vital accessibility features or anything of the sort. :)
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zoeythebee · 1 year
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How To Make Your Code Actually Good
This is about programming structure and organization. Resources online are very sparse, and usually not super helpful. Which was unhelpful to me who was struggling with code organization.
So I wanted to make this, which will explain how best to structure your code based on what I've learned. What I lay out here may not work for everyone but it works well in my experience.
These resources were very helpful for me
Handmade Hero - https://youtu.be/rPJfadFSCyQ
Entity Component System by The Cherno - https://youtu.be/Z-CILn2w9K0
Game Programming Patterns - https://gameprogrammingpatterns.com/
So, let's get started.
So first we need to cover a few terms. These are Decoupling, and Abstraction.
Decoupling
So, when we code there is only so much information we can keep inside of our brain at one time. If we kept all of our code in a single file, we would have to keep in mind every single line of code we have written thus far. Or, more likely, we would actively ignore certain lines that aren't relevant to whichever problem we are trying to solve. And miss possible errors by skipping over lines we didn't know were important.
This is bad, what we need to do is decouple our code. Decoupling just means to break something up.
We need to split our code into smaller more manageable pieces so that we can focus better on it without cluttering up our brain with useless information.
For example lets take into account a basic game loop
int main(){
bool running = true;
// Game init code
while(running){
// Game update code
}
// Game exit code
return 0;
}
Obviously in a real example this would be much larger. So an extremely good start would be moving chunks of code into different functions.
int main(){
bool running = true;
gameInit();
while(running){
gameUpdate();
}
gameExit();
}
Now, when we are working on loading the game, we shouldn't have to think about what's happening in the rest of the app. This may take moving some code around inorder to truly seperate it from the rest of the code. But it is a very worthwhile effort.
Abstraction
Abstraction is when we take complex pieces of code and put them inside of a function or structure to make that feature easier to use. Or to hide tiny details that would be a waste of time to type out over and over.
For example programming languages are abstracted away from Assembly. Which of course is a thin abstraction away from machine code.
Now abstraction is great, computer science is practically built ontop of abstracting away small details. but the point I'd like to make here is that you can go too crazy with abstraction.
If you are making a gui application, and you need to create a new button. And to do so you need to run a function that returns a new class that you pass into another function that returns a pointer to an app state that you use with the original class to interact with a gui state that takes in a general state class and a position.
You have abstracted too far away to actually getting that button on screen. And due to all the hoops your code has to go through you will face major performance hits as well. And nobody likes a slow program.
Generally my rule of thumb is one layer of abstraction. Obviously for really complex stuff like graphics more abstraction is required. But for our own apps we should strive to as little abstraction as possible. Which makes code more clear and easier to debug, if a little more verbose at times.
Note that breaking things up into other files and functions are pretty cheap abstraction/performance wise. But the number of steps your code has to go through is what's important. Like the number of objects you have to go through, and functions you have to run.
Now these are good general tips for programming. There are also other good tips like consistent naming conventions, and consistent function names and argument patterns. But that's all pretty basic good-programming-things-you-should-do.
Now when I was learning this sort of stuff, I got told a lot of the stuff I just put above. But the biggest question I had was "but where do I PUT all of my code?"
As projects grow in complexity, figuring out sane ways to organize your structures and code logic in a way that makes sense is pretty tricky.
So to kinda crystallize how I think about code organization is basically.
Pick a pattern, and stick to it
A design pattern is just a piece of code structure you repeat. And there are lots of smart people that have come up with some pretty smart and flexible patterns. Like entity component systems, and state machines.
But sometimes you have to figure out your own, or modify existing patterns. And the best way to do that is to not plan at all and jump right in.
Do a rough draft of your app just to get a general idea of what you are going to need your pattern to support. And you may have to build up a pattern, find out it sucks, and start over. The trick is to fail fast and fail often.
Grabbing some paper and trying to diagram out how you want your app to flow is also handy. But getting your hands dirty with your keyboard is the best.
Now if you are new to programming, the above method probably wont work the first time. The only way to really learn code architecture is by building apps, and when you are first starting out many of your apps are probably falling apart early on. But the more you build these apps the more you learn. The bigger the apps you make, the more you learn.
But there is something that's also very helpful.
Steal somebody else's pattern!
So I can explain this best with an example. I make games, and the complexity I have to deal with is having multiple game objects that can all interact with each other fluidly. Enemies, the player, collectibles, moving platforms. This is a pretty tricky task, and I wound up picking two patterns to follow.
The first one is a modified version of a State Machine that I call a Scene Manager.
A scene is essentially a structure that contains an init, update, and exit function and can store data relating to the scene. And I have a Scene Manager that I can dynamically load and unload scenes with. So if I need to create a main menu or a pause menu it's as easy as loading a scene.
For my actual game scene I chose to use an Entity Component System. I linked a video above that explains it very well. To summarize, an ECS use entities. Entities can contain data called components. And systems will grab any entity that has the required components and will modify that entity. For example a Move system will operate on any entities that have the Position and Velocity components.
And this has worked very well for my game. Now this doesnt solve every problem I had. I still had to fill in the gaps with code that doesnt 100% match the pattern. After all there isnt any pattern that will fix all possible issues a codebase needs to solve. For example to delete an entity I have to add it by reference to an array where it is deleted AFTER the game is done updating.
Elsewhere I used a bit of abstraction to make creating entities easier. For example i created a class that stores methods to create entities. Whereas before I was manually adding components to empty structures.
Decoupling entity creation meant I could focus on more important things. I also deal with window resizing and rendering in a layer outside of the scene. In a way that would affect all Scenes.
An Example
In the game I'm making, the most complex part of the program so far is the player update code. Which makes sense for a platformer. So the issue is simple, it's getting too long. But the other issue is things are in places that don't immediately make sense. And it's all packed inside a single function.
You can view the code as it is now here.
Our goal is to decouple the code into pieces so that it takes up less brain space. And to reorganize the function so it's layout makes more immediate sense.
So my first step is to figure out a logical way to organize all of this code. My plan is to split it up by player actions. This way all of the jump logic is inside it's own function. All of the shooting logic is in it's own function etc.
Here is the code after implimenting the pattern.
Notice how this decouples the code into more manageable pieces so we can work on it better. Also note how I am still keeping one layer of abstraction from the player update code. I also put it in a seperate file to slim down the systems file.
So the method I implemented here of observing a problem, coming up with a pattern, and implementing it. That at a larger scale is how to overall structure a good code base. Here in this small instance I found a working solution first try. But for more complex code you may have to try multiple different patterns and solutions before you find what works best.
And that's all I have to say. I hope it made sense, and I hope it helps you. Let me know if I should change anything. Thanks for reading!
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itwasthereaminuteago · 11 months
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|| Engagement ||
Matt Murdock x gn reader
Tags/warnings: mild angst, mild smut, meta, sorry not sorry I had to!!! 😂
As always, I adore and appreciate any comments, reblogs, etc and I'm extremely thankful to you for reading my fics!
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~
Matt's arms tighten around you as you lie snuggled up together in bed. He can pick up on your disconnected mood from your elevated heart rate and the way he hears your breathing change every time you think about saying something and then stop yourself.
"You know you can talk to me, if something's wrong." He says quietly.
You take a deep inhale, sighing it out as you nuzzle into his t-shirt at his shoulder. "I know," you reply, choosing to ignore the invitation to unload.
He pushes a little harder in response. "Sweetie, you've been off for a while now, you think I hadn't noticed?"
"Urgh. It's stupid."
He turns his head to kiss you on the top of your head, giving you another squeeze. "I'm sure it's not, and talking about might help? If you want."
You huff out another sigh. "I dunno, I've kind of talked it over with others but it doesn't seem to make any difference. I'm not sure it's something I can fix."
Concern washes over Matt's features. "Is– is it something I've done? Or not done?" He gently takes your face in his hands. "Sweetheart, you'd tell me if it was me wouldn't you? I'd want you to."
You smile, bringing your hand up to stroke through his soft, messy hair. "Of course I would, and no it's nothing you've done, so don't fret."
The worry melts from his brow. "Alright, but c'mon, try me. I'm sure we can do something about whatever it is that's got you down."
"Well… it's work related. I'm not getting anywhere near as much feedback on my stuff as I used to. You know how in the creative sector we kinda thrive on others sharing our work to bring it to the attention of others? I've been feeling for a while now that the sense of community that we had has just sort of disappeared. People don't seem to want to interact that much with what we make."
Matt groans. "Baby, is this about the lack of reblogs on Tumblr again? "
You can't help frowning. "It is." You admit.
He smiles and rolls over to cage you underneath him. "I could make you forget about it, for a while at least?"
"Matty!" You push him off with a frustrated sigh. "Are you honestly trying to distract me with sex? You know how important this is to me."
"I know, I'm sorry. I don't mean to trivialise the issue, I just thought I could take your mind off it, maybe make you feel better."
"So kind and selfless of you…" you smirk as he starts to kiss along the column of your neck.
"I try." He smiles. "Anyway, you were saying? And I'm gonna keep kissing you."
"Fine. Okay, so I know that I should create for myself and not for other people…"
"But it's nice to get some recognition, right?" You nod as Matt holds himself over you again continuing to make his way down your neck towards your collarbones.
"Right. I really do appreciate the likes, but if people are just 'liking' my work without sharing it, that means it just ends up dead in the water. No-one else really gets the chance to enjoy it."
"Any idea why they are not sharing?" Matt asks, lightly stroking your side.
"I dunno, maybe they're not familiar with how the site works, that it doesn't have an algorithm? Maybe they're embarrassed to let other people see what they're looking at? Especially if it's something a bit risqué."
Matt hums. "Yeah but didn't you tell me before that they could just create a sideblog that's not associated with their main account, and reblog things they like using that and no one would be any wiser?'
"Exactly! And anyway, it's not like everyone doesn't enjoy looking at and reading porn…"
Matt lifts his head up, a slight sly smile pulling up the corner of his mouth. "Mm true. So what else are you sad about?"
You sigh again. You can't seem to stop yourself.
"Well, people aren't commenting on works either. There's rarely any discussion, I mean even just a manic keyboard smash would be amazing for an artist to see in their notifications, but there's barely even that anymore. Commenting on a stranger's fan works is so much fun, it can really bring people together!"
"That's how a great community grows isn't it?" Matt asks you.
"Yep, and you end up making so many friends you would never have thought. I miss that aspect of it a lot."
Matt's swiftly moving down to lavish attention over your chest, and you momentarily lose your train of thought as his lips brush over your nipple. "And have you brought people's attention to this problem?"
"Of course! Many other creators have explained why reblogs and sharing are so important in eloquently written PSAs, but I guess that the target audience must not see them because they're perhaps only looking at the stories and fanart from tags and they maybe don't see the other dashboard posts. I dunno."
Matt starts to lick an achingly slow intimate path down your stomach and you feel heat spreading throughout your body, your heart rate now elevated for quite a different reason. Then suddenly, he stops.
"Have you thought about maybe incorporating the message into one of your creations? Maybe that might reach the intended audience better."
You close your eyes as you consider the idea. He shifts further down the bed and you allow him to spread your thighs apart and slot his shoulders inbetween.
"Mm, well… that's- actually that's a good idea. I mean, it can't hurt to try, can it? You're the devil on my shoulder Matty."
"Exactly. But leave it till tomorrow sweetheart. Right now this devil wants to make you feel good."
You bite down on your lip as he flashes you a smoldering look before ducking down to make good on his promise.
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duhragonball · 8 months
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Dragon Ball Magic: Return of the Asspull
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So the word on Twitter is that there have been leaked reports of a new anime called "Dragon Ball Magic". I'm pretty sure it's all made-up bullshit, but I remember thinking Dragon Ball Super was a pipe dream too, and here we are. So I may as well discuss the topic here.
The whole thing comes across like a modern day Dragon Ball AF, where there seems to be a lot more emphasis on hype and speculation than tangible evidence. For example, there's a twitter account dedicated to gathering all the information available about the new series, but all it really does is amplify rumors and fanworks. When I search for the title on Twitter I mostly get skeptics making fun of the idea, or true believers talking about the show as if it were objective fact. Like AF, there's a lot of excitement but no clear picture of what the the thing actually is. The only real consensus I can find is the following:
Dragon Ball Magic will feature the Supreme Kai
Goku will be turned into a child, just like in Dragon Ball GT
Geekdom101 talked about this once, so that means it must be real.
And that's why I led off with the screenshot of the tail-yanking scene from GT, because I was trying to find an appropriate image of GT Goku and the Supreme Kai, and... yeah, that's it.
The more I think about it, the more this feels like something an internet troll would come up with. Like, someone started with the stupidest moment in the worst Dragon Ball series ever, and built a rumor around it. Oh, and also the rumor namedrops Geekdom101, just to make it extra absurd. It's the sort of thing gullible people would flock to while everyone in on the joke would have a laugh over it.
I don't know enough about Geekdom101 to insult him properly, but I'm like 90% sure he's an asshole. Back when Twitter actually worked properly, I'd see his name trending and there'd be a bunch of people in the fandom going "Dammit, what's he done this time?" Does he have inside sources in the anime industry? I dunno, maybe he does, but I think he's got a credibility problem. I mean, he calls himself "Geekdom101", and his avatar is Golden Frieza with a pair of glasses and holding a lightsaber. His YouTube videos look like a clickbait parody, with things like "Kai-o-ken EXPLAINED" and "WHAT WE KNOW SO FAR". Also plenty of what-if and who-would-win videos.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and suggest that maybe this is a guy who makes a decent living off his fandom channel, and when there's not much going on, he'll cobble together a story just to keep the conversation going and draw more attention to his videos. Which... I mean, if that's profitable, so be it, but if Geekdom told me water was wet I'd want to double-check for myself.
As to the rest, even if Toei was really planning something like DB Magic, there's no guarantee they'd actually follow through with it. Plans change, and even if this were 100% legit, it means nothing without an official confirmation and a release date. That "Superman Lives!" movie with Nic Cage was a real thing... right until it wasn't.
But I find the concept too vague and too specific all at once. Like, okay, it's Supreme Kai and a de-aged Goku. Why them in particular? What are they going to do? It just feels like something someone made up to get a reaction from the fans. GT likers are supposed to get all excited or defensive about a potential GT reboot, and other fans are supposed to get upset that the Supreme Kai got the lead instead of their favorite C-lister.
Compare this to the early reveals for DBS: Superhero. Toei teased a few details, and gradually it became clear that the Red Ribbon Army was back somehow, and maybe there were some new androids, and there was a lot about Piccolo and Gohan, so it seemed like they'd be a big part of the story. It wasn't a complete picture, but it made sense from a promotional standpoint. People were more concerned with the CG animation than any of the characters or plot.
I mean, anyone can come up with this stuff. I mean, my uncle works for Nintendo, and he told me that the next anime is going to be called Dragon Ball Snazzy, and it'll be about Vegeta and 18 starting up a private detective agency. Or... I don't know, Dragon Ball Jazz, which is a prequel series featuring a young Dr. Brief and Gine as secret agents. Wait, how about Dragon Ball Spatula, starring Elder Guru and Launch as they explore the multiverse!
And you know, I'd probably watch any of these shows. Hell, I sat through GT, and it was awful! The bar's pretty low when it comes to making a Dragon Ball project that I'm willing to try out. But people have been clamoring for Dragon Ball Super II ever since the first series went off the air in 2018, and that was years ago. This Dragon Ball Magic business just sounds like the same old empty hype with a fresh coat of paint.
Or maybe the whole thing is real, but my advice is: Don't get your hopes up. Life's too short to get worked up over things that might never happen. If it actually comes to pass, then it'll still be just as much fun whether you believed it ahead of time or not.
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The latest oneshot is finally here! Inspired by replies to this post by @sky-marbles !
In this, Vaggie learns pole dancing from Angel Dust in an effort by him to convince her to let him teach the hotel in a group bonding session. Featuring dancer!vaggie, no romance beyond one or two background ships, no actual sexual content (just references and a couple jokes), and unexpected friendship :)
I'd prefer if you read this on Ao3, but my works are archive-locked, so if you don't have an Ao3 account and thus can't read it on there it's also under the cut!
No Bonding Like *checks notes* Pole Dancing
Vaggie crossed her arms, barely suppressing a sigh. “We’re not stripping as a group activity. That’s final. I don’t have anything against stripping itself, but Charlie’s group bonding sessions aren’t supposed to be sexual.”
Angel huffed. “I didn’t say stripping, I said pole dancing. There’s a difference.”
Vaggie raised an eyebrow.
“There is! Pole dancing is an art. Stripping is also an art when it’s done right, and strippers were the ones who created pole, but pole dance itself isn’t inherently about sex.”
“You’re not exactly convincing me here.”
“Look, I know it can be. Why do you think I learned?” He sighed. “But it doesn’t have to be. It’s like…” He thought for a second. “It’s like how art of naked people can be for anatomy shit, or for porn, or for both.”
Vaggie remained unconvinced.
“How about this.” Angel stretched as he stood from the hotel couch. “I spend an afternoon teaching you a bit of pole, and you approach it with an open mind. If you still think it’s ‘just sex,’ I’ll never bring it up again. But if you do change your mind, we have that group bonding session.”
“Why should I take you up on that when I can just say no as-is?”
“I’d just ask Charlie. We both know she’s easier to convince.”
Vaggie groaned. Why did he have to be right? “Fine. Look, I can’t promise we’ll allow it even if you can convince me. But you can try.”
And so, that was how Vaggie had found herself in a room with Angel Dust and a pole-dancing pole. It occurred to her that she was likely the only person in Hell to have ever had that sentence apply to her without it being sexual in some way. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other awkwardly. Honestly, she’d kind of been dreading this.
Angel Dust looked her up and down. “You’re going to need skin-to-skin contact with the pole. The jacket has to go. The bike shorts should be fine, though.”
Reluctantly, Vaggie took off the jacket. Angel seemed to approve of the loose t-shirt (most likely Charlie’s) that Vaggie had on.
“Alright,” Angel said decisively. “Let’s get started.”
It was very different from what Vaggie expected. The moves Angel had started her out with were very beginner, and Vaggie actually did feel herself starting to understand it after a few tries. It was difficult in the way that learning anything new was, but Vaggie was also familiar with rhythm and dance. That familiarity led to her picking up moves faster than she’d thought she would. She was surprised to find herself genuinely enjoying the dance. She didn’t even fall half as often as she thought she would.
Likewise, being with Angel one-on-one wasn’t awful. He was a little different here than he was around others- maybe because he wasn’t flirting with Husk or Alastor or anyone, maybe because he was confident in what he was doing, maybe just because he was trying to convince her that this wasn’t sexual and making innuendos wouldn’t help him. In any case, she kind of liked this side of him.
“Convinced yet?” He’d asked her on their third break.
“Not quite,” Vaggie responded. “I mean- this hasn’t been what I thought. I’ll admit that you were right and pole dance is an art form, and it's more than I thought it was. But I have other concerns about the group setting. Namely, I think it might turn into something sexual.”
Angel rolled his eyes and offered her a hand up. “I get where you're coming from, but that could happen with literally anything. Now, you wanna practice that move a couple more times?”
Vaggie sighed and slowly stood, as something occurred to her. “Why do you only use one set of arms?” Wouldn’t extra hands make something like this easier?
“Same reason you’re not using your wings yet. I normally do, but you’re on the basics, so you learn the fundamentals that humans can do and build from there. As your teacher, I need to model that.” He raised an eyebrow. “Also, did you think I’d teach you moves that use limbs you don’t have?”
Vaggie shrugged. Honestly, she had expected that.
They were back to the dancing part. Vaggie had to admit, Angel was really fucking good at this. Vaggie herself wasn’t bad for a beginner, but every movement looked so effortless from Angel. It was almost like he was moving in a tank of water, or like his frame rate would be double hers in an animation. She was the one that could fly, but she couldn’t help but think the way Angel defied gravity was just as impressive.
“Do you do any other types of dance?” She asked after he showed her a beginner move she’d attempted 20 times look unreasonably fucking fluid. 
“No?” he replied, audibly confused. “I learned this because of Val. I’m good because I’ve been doing it for half a century, but I’m not really a dancer.”
That actually got a chuckle out of Vaggie. “Not really a dancer my ass. That shit was smoother than half the ballerinas I’ve worked with. Seriously, you’d be great at another form if you do decide to try one.”
Wait. Why did he look so confused at that?
“You do ballet?”
“A bit. Also salsa and cumbia. Maybe modern dance someday.” She was pretty damn good at perreo, but she wasn’t about to tell Angel Dust that.
Now he was the one gaping. There was no way she’d forgotten to tell the others about that. Right?
“Since when are you a fucking dancer?”
She shrugged. “A year or two, I guess.”
“And you didn’t tell us?”
“It never really came up.”
“Because you never mentioned it! How’d you end up doing it in the first place?”
“Running got boring.”
“Come on, there’s gotta be more than that.”
Vaggie didn’t want to go on some long monologue, but Angel seemed genuinely curious, so it seemed to be time for the long answer.
“Exterminators are the most birdlike angels on a biological level, because we’re the ones who have to fly outside of the atmosphere of Heaven. Flying normally burns a lot of energy. When I lost my wings, that change was really hard on me. I started running to get some cardio back, and I saw an ad so I signed up for a few dance classes to get some variety. I went to one a nd… I don’t know, something clicked. Before I fell, my entire life was training. I still like running and sparring, but they’ll always be tied to all the baggage from...” her voice trailed off. “Dance is… it’s fun, you know? I’m not doing it for violence or for Lute or anyone. I’m doing it for me, and I can just lose myself in the music and moving and pursuing excellence and get that rush of endorphins in something that’s just mine.”
Angel somehow looked even more shocked. Fuck, was that oversharing?
“Shit, you’re right. I should absolutely take some classes.”
That was a strange reaction. “What?”
“Like I said, I learned this shit because of Val,” Angel pointed out. “I mean, we’ve got different tragic backstories, but I feel like I could get something similar from it, you know? As long as he doesn’t find out.”
Vaggie grinned. “Can you imagine everyone else’s faces if they see us performing as dance partners?”
That got an actual laugh out of Angel Dust. “Sir Pentious would probably think we’re dating,” he choked out. “That’s it, I’m signing up, we have to make that a reality.”
After a few hours that felt so much shorter, they wrapped up the lesson. Angel had Vaggie combine the building blocks he’d taught her into something of a short dance. She slipped up a couple times and she knew her movements were a little forced and choppy, but he looked so proud of her after that she couldn’t help but be proud too.
“So…” he asked. “What’s the decision?”
On one hand, she still thought that while pole could be not sexual, it might turn into that in a larger group. On the other hand, she had to hand it to him- this really was an art. Charlie’s rules for the hotel weren’t meant to be limiting, and Angel’s idea could be fun.
“I guess it’d be ok,” Vaggie decided. “As long as Charlie agrees with me.” She caught the little fist pump Angel did and added, “Also, we should totally do this again.”
“You want to learn for real?” There was disbelief in Angel’s voice.
“Yeah! This… was kind of nice.”
There was an excited gleam in his eyes as he responded, “Alright, but you had better make good on the salsa lessons.”
“Deal.”
Angel had honestly surprised her today. She’d known he was doing better, but she still wouldn’t have described herself as close to him. That energy of his personality being almost a performance, which Husk had loved to complain about, had given Vaggie a vibe to stay away- which she felt bad about in retrospect. Angel was more considerate than she’d expected and a shockingly good teacher.
“Hey, you better let me know how Charlie feels about all this tomorrow morning,” he told Vaggie with a suggestive wink.
Never mind, she took back all that sweet shit. She flipped him off, and smiled as she set a reminder on her phone for the date and time of the next lesson.
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choochooboss · 10 months
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Magma event details!
Please check the rules below if you plan on joining our events!
A few words about Magma for newcomers:
Magma is a free browser based art program where participants can collaborate and draw on the same canvas at the same time! Magma works on both PC and mobile devices! Magma has most useful art program tools! But some are a little difficult to find, like layer opacity lock. You can export the images as PNGs and PSDs so you can save and keep all your layers etc.!
Hosting a session is easy! Set up a new canvas and share the link and that's it, you can start drawing. You can do public sessions like mine, or private sessions just with your close group. Update!! Previously you were able to use Magma anonymously without making an account, but this option does not exist anymore.
Our Magma event rules
Have fun! These events are meant to get you inspired, get to know other artists and create awesome art and ideas together!
Everyone is welcome to join my sessions! Doesn't matter where or when you join. You don't need to draw anything there, you can also just come and chat with us and watch others do their magic! Lurking is totally fine too!
Avoid drawing too big! Make sure to leave enough space for other people's drawings! Mind that there are 40-80 people partaking in these weekend events! (Max. 1/6th of the canvas per drawing is ideal!) We recommend to zoom in at 100-150% before you start drawing to avoid this. However! If you have an idea that others can contribute to, I'd be excited to hear it!! Those are highly appreciated!
Avoid drawing over the canvas frames!This is for possible future use in i.e. collages & personal aesthetics. They are there for a reason.
Keep it PG!
You are allowed to paste reference images in the session to use as a base etc.! Please remove them when you don't need them anymore and make sure not to cover areas where others are currently drawing!
When you are finished with your piece, please flatten your layers! The Magma total layer limit is 60 layers per canvas and it gets full rather fast. We have set a 8 layer limit per user/canvas. (If you have used layer effects in your piece, start flattening from bottom to top so they get preserved correctly!)
If you want to post/share Magma art that features other artists' works, you must ask for their permission first! This is very important!! Simple blur/solid color to hide them is ok, otherwise editing other people's art is not!
If you need more time to finish your piece, please let me know as soon as possible! If you know you aren't going to finish yours, please release the space for others to use!
Don't hesitate to ask anything! We are very happy to help out make the most of your session! Our regulars are all friendly and helpful, and my co-admin and mods are able to assist with i.e. getting your layers back!
Other tips!
Some users have experienced disasters losing layers for good by pressing CTRL + X, we recommend avoiding that for now!
Save regularly! Magma is a server based program so it's not as stable as your usual art programs, and also when the program refreshes you might lose some of your progress. Better saved than sorry! You can export the whole canvas as PNG, JPG & PSD!
You can have up to two Magma sessions open in your browser at once!
If you log out of the session you might lose rights to your layers. Please ask either the admin or approved users to give your layers back to you!
If Magma is going slow for you, it may be fixed by turning off the graphics accelerator. Go to Edit > Settings > Turn off Graphics Accelerator.
Merge layers with layer effects starting from bottom to top! For some reason Magma messes them up easily otherwise and the results will not look like you want.
Magma has a text chat we love to hang out in, it's of course optional but we would be happy to have you there!
You can send private messages to others by being on the same canvas with the receiver and clicking their icon!
Magma also has a voice call option. We prefer not to use it, but it's easy to misclick the button! Don't be alarmed!
We're continually figuring out new features and bugs in each session, I want to note down all of them to make the sessions as smooth and fun for you as possible! Let us know if you have any issues!
Also something notable: it's always well appreciated if you draw official Pokémon characters! Most of my followers are into submas or Pokémon in general so as the host I'd like to offer content most would enjoy! Some events welcome OCs but the free doodle session will always stay open for your characters!
After everyone is done I start post-processing the images. It may take a while until they are ready to be posted, please be patient! I will post the art on both my Twitter and Tumblr. You can use #jun's magma events for tagging your posts!
See you in our next event!! All aboard! <3
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olderthannetfic · 10 months
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Tumblr seems to be sliding in a downward spiral, and it feels like the start of the end of a fandoming era for me. I've been through it before; platforms are born then die, and life fandom finds a way. I'm just not looking forward to floundering for a bit, and dreading what the next hub will look like.
AO3 isn't really a place geared or meant for the same thing, and that's fine. My only fandom-related activity took place on AO3 only for a few years between my leaving LJ and joining Tumblr, and I lived ;-) But during that time, I was my own little island in fandom. Reading, leaving a few comments, not being super active. It's only when I found a community again that I was back to being really active in fandom once more.
And it's not that I actually use Tumblr to post about myself, but I do use it to read and reblog cool things - art, gifsets, science stuff, discovering new fandoms, and the like. I'm not sure where else I could find my people, with sameish purposes. The other sites I've tried didn't fill that niche in a way that suited me, in part because of how they look and work, in part because of who and what is(n't) there.
I have DW & PF accounts just to be safe, but I'm not very fond of group chats Discord-style - and without Tumblr, IDK how I'd even hear of new communities where I might pop in once in a while, loins girdled and everything. The micro-blogging platforms are not what I'm looking for either. Sure, I can follow a few DW comms and blogs; I already occasionally do and I will be more consistent about it if I must.
But one of my greatest fear is that the next platform will be phone-based, app-only, or some such BS - and that is something I just won't be able to deal with. Phones are tiny, it's uncomfortable to write anything, I don't like touch screen and much, much prefer a proper keyboard and a mouse (copy-pasting on a screen? (x_x) << it me), art/pics are too small to properly appreciate, a phone isn't comfy to hold for a long time for me, and the app system means you have no control over anything as a user… and that anything there must be Apple Approved, dick-free, blood-free, and tasteless. And I say this as someone who's pretty much uninterested in sex IRL or in my entertainment ;-) I still support and want the tits, the gore, the everything, and as long as I have the tools to curate - oh, wait. Curate things myself? That's not something that's popular these days, is it? It's not going to generate money, if I'm happy ;-)
So… I guess I'll play some more on Neocities, and see if anyone wants to have webrings again? (it would be fun and nostalgic, but not really viable on a large scale; people who haven't known those would just laugh and point and go on the InstaTok of the time).
So here is my little cane-waving rant of the day! I know things evolve and change and that in ten years I'll be rolling my eyes at my moping. It's only that I feel tired of moving from one shitty platform to another, of fearing I won't adapt (or more accurately won't want to adapt given the annoyance/benefit ratio) to whichever new place things will move in a few years. It's saying goodbye to a former home, moving, and hoping you'll make another home elsewhere kind of sniffles today!
--
We already know the next platform. It has been Discord for a few years now.
If you want the one after Discord, I think you're looking at waiting things out for quite a few years (or until Discord makes a major misstep as a company).
True, real time chat is not for everyone, but small discords with well-chosen channels can operate more asynchronously. Just like a lot of people who hated the look of Tumblr early on eventually capitulated, a lot of chat haters have jumped ship to Discord already.
Realistically, 90% of fandom always goes where the action is, no matter how much they claim the features make that space impossible, and 10% disappears.
We might get the 10% back on the next platform or they might leave fandom for good. There were LJ-haters who resurfaced post LJ era.
But as for where you'll find out where people are... probably AO3 author's notes.
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dalchiid · 11 months
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𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 41
A story of obsession, fear, and lust. You're a maid whose Masters forbid you in meeting their guests for the night but your luck runs dry when you run into them and catch the attention of Lord Hoseok himself. He's smitten from the beginning and thus, your fate has been decided.
Pairing: Yandere Vampire Hoseok x Fem/AFAB Reader
Word Count: 7,089
Warnings: 18+, Yandere, Obsession, Possessive, Angst, Fear, Blood, Biting, Dub-Con, Eventual smut
Will add or remove warnings based on what's in each chapter.
I do not condone the behavior being exhibited in my work. This is solely for entertainment purposes and I hope if any of you are ever in a situation like this that you have the chance and ability to run away from it. Take care out there.
DO NOT copy, edit, or repost my work anywhere.
Chapter 41 Warnings: Yandere, Possessive, Obsession, Dub-Con, Smut, Biting, Blood, Cum Eating
Prev | Next
You still feel gross. A few days have passed with your cold kicking your ass but you feel like you might be getting better. Hoseok has been playing the caregiver role and making sure you're happy and comfortable. Well as happy as you can be given the circumstances.
The two of you have been spending your meal times in his room as per your request but it doesn't mean you have gone without seeing the others. Yoongi has come to see you one time while Namjoon and Taehyung have seen you a few times. If it isn't them bringing you tea it's just for them to check up on you to see how you're doing. You appreciate that, honestly. They've been really sweet with you despite you occasionally leaving them on delivered because you're too tired to check your phone.
In other news Hoseok hasn't touched you or at least he does but doesn't go through with the plan of having sex with you whenever he gives you his saliva. He says it's because he wants you to conserve your energy. Just touching you while you were high seemed to take a lot out of you and so he would pull back and just let you rest. Even in the shower he would hold off for your sake. You know he's been wanting to do more but he's been trying his best not to take it a step further.
Today, while Hoseok is out fetching you something to drink, you check your bank account. You know you're playing with fire by not putting it into use but the time to leave just doesn't feel right yet. You'll do it some day, you're sure, but for now it's a no.
There's a knock on the door and with a raspy voice you welcome them in. You doubt that it's Hoseok because he would have just come in without question.
The door creaks open before Namjoon sticks his head inside. Seeing him brings a smile to your face. One that lights up his features as well.
"Where's Hoseok," he asks.
"Getting me something to drink." You pat the spot next to you. "Come here."
He steps inside and closes the door behind him. When he comes to sit by your side his hand reaches out for yours.
"How are you feeling today, princess?"
You shrug your shoulders. "Better than the other days."
He rubs his thumb over your hand. "Still you could be better."
You smile. "Could be better."
"My brother been taking care of you?"
You look down at your combined hands with a small frown.
"Hey."
It takes you a second before you look up at him again.
"I'm sorry I can't be there for you. The way I'm sure you want me to." He licks his lips. "Can you forgive me?"
Your brows draw together. "Of course I forgive you. It's not your fault things are the way they are."
He breathes a sigh of relief and smiles. "If I could I'd be here for you every step of the way."
"I know."
There's a sorry smile he sends your way as he squeezes your hand.
You wish it were just you and Namjoon but the fact is that it's not and you have to deal with that. No matter how much you wish for something you know to not let it consume you otherwise you'd feel miserable about it. It doesn't stop you from bringing his hand up to kiss his knuckles. He smiles in response.
"What have you been up to," you ask.
"Not much. Working most of the time. Now that I don't have you to distract me," he smirks. "I've been pretty busy."
You pout as you go to pinch his hand. He hisses in pain but laughs to cover it up.
"Sorry, sorry," he says.
"If I'm that much of a distraction then why bother with me?"
Namjoon huffs a laugh. "Don't pout, princess. I'm just messing with you."
You're still pouting but the way he smiles at you lightens your mood.
"You're lucky I like you."
"That I am," he says with a smile.
Loosening his hold on you he goes to stand up. You're about to ask him where he was going but he holds a finger up to his lips. A minute later the door opens and reveals Hoseok with a tray filled with tea along with little snacks. He doesn't acknowledge Namjoon as he must have already known his brother was in here with you.
"I brought you some more tea, baby. Plus, some crackers and cheese and those little cakes you like." He smiles brightly as you sit up and take the tray onto your lap. Once you have a hold of it he straightens up and turns to his brother.
"What brings you here?"
Namjoon just shakes his head and smiles. "Was checking to see how Y/N is doing. She seems a little better than before."
Hoseok makes an "Ah" sound as he rounds the bed to sit on his side. When he's settled next to you he dabs the teabag into the cup of hot water a few times for you.
"Careful it's hot," he says softly. He looks up to Namjoon then with a smile. "How's work been? I heard there's a new dealer you're working with? How's that going?"
Your movements still for a moment at the mention of their work but you're quick to snap back and grab your tea to blow on it.
"It's going as good as it can get. Jackson recommended him and I trust Jackson enough to give the man a chance."
Hoseok hums in agreement. "It's been a while since we last saw him. We should plan a get together."
"That would be nice."
You don't know who Jackson is nor care to know but it seems Hoseok has another plan in mind.
He looks down at you with a smile and a hand to the back of your head. "One day I'll introduce you to him. He's a great friend of ours."
You take a sip of your tea and look away without a word.
We'll see about that, you think.
Namjoon slips his hands into his pockets and leans back against the wall. "Any plans for today?"
His brother shakes his head as he continues to dote on you. "Just staying in with Y/N. I want her to be at her best again before I take her out anywhere."
"Understandable." Namjoon directs his attention towards you. "I should leave you alone then. Take care, yeah?"
You don't want him to leave but you know you have to so you nod.
"See you," you rasp out.
Namjoon waves before stepping out. The door shuts behind him hiding him away from you leaving you alone, once again, with Hoseok. The sound of the TV fills the air but your captor doesn't remain silent for long.
"How's the tea? Is it too bitter? I didn't want to put too much sugar for you."
The tea tasted fine. You take another sip before answering him.
"It's fine." A short answer.
He hums. "Don't forget your snacks." His hands clasp together as he stretches his arms out in front of him. "I wanted to bring you something to munch on. Something to hold you down until it's time to eat."
You place the tea down and look at the three small cakes that come in a wrapper. They're birthday cake flavored and he's right - you do like them. You open up one of them and begin to take little bites from it so you can savor it. You're enjoying it despite the fact that Hoseok has been staring at you non-stop.
Your eyes shift over to see him smiling at you and it's a little unnerving.
"What," you ask.
His brows perk up at the attention you give him. "Nothing."
You send a knowing look his way. "You have something to say. So what is it?"
For once he looks a little shy as he bites his bottom lip and fiddles with his thumbs. It's uncharacteristic of him and you don't know what to do with that information.
"Hoseok."
He releases his lip to smile at you. "Nothing it's just... I feel bad that you're sick but I've been enjoying taking care of you. You don't fight me as much."
Your brows furrow as you think on it.
You guess he's right. You've just been wanting to rest, get your high and go back to resting. He's been taking good care of you and you've been letting him. You did promise you would tone it down with the aggression but with you being sick you've really calmed down. The thought of that makes you purse your lips before taking another bite of your cake.
Hoseok picks a piece of cracker and cheese for himself but you don't react to it. He seems to smile around the food in his mouth and you don't know what to make of it.
Things feel a little domestic between you two. Something you hate but you're too sick to care. Let it be, you think. You'll just let it be.
You pick up your cup and sip some more tea that just hits the spot. It makes a warm trail down your throat and into your stomach. With the cake it tastes all the more sweeter.
Hoseok takes another piece of cheese with a cracker for himself before he brings his thumb up to wipe the corner of your mouth. You look at him to see he was getting to a piece of cake that sat on the edge of your lips and instead of brushing his hands of it he brings it to his mouth to lick off. The sight of him doing that makes you feel a little off but you try to not acknowledge him. Especially when he looks at you with heady eyes.
You clear your throat before swallowing more of the tea down.
"Easy there," he says. "I don't want you burning yourself."
You just grunt in response.
You can see from the corner of your eye how he keeps staring at you. It's unnerving and you make the mistake of locking eyes with him when you shift your sights.
His eyes are half-lidded and his smile is soft. He looks absolutely in love with you and it makes your stomach turn. You take a bite out of your cake and it just makes his smile grow wider.
"Hoseok," you say around a mouthful before swallowing. "You keep staring at me like that."
"Like what," he asks but you have a feeling he knows what you're talking about. He's just playing around. "Like what," he asks again.
You sigh before looking at the TV. It's some trash reality show that's on but it's had your attention before now. You try to ignore Hoseok as you watch the people interact but he laughs a little before leaning into your space and kissing your cheek softly. You catch him from the corner of your eye and see how he stares at you before giving you another kiss.
"You're too cute, Y/N."
Without a response you drink down more of your tea until there's nothing left.
"How's your throat, by the way?"
You place the cup onto the tray and shrug. "It doesn't hurt but you can already tell something's up with the way I sound." And you're right because it's still raspy.
Hoseok hums. "The tea should help with that." He taps the plate with the crackers and cheese. "Eat."
Before finishing off the cake you do as he says and eat the other snack he's brought. He takes another piece for himself but you don't complain. When you're done he takes the tray and places it outside his door like he's been doing as of late.
He closes the door behind him before walking up to you and smiling.
"Let's get you tucked in, yeah?"
Without much fight you let him baby you. You don't have it in you to go against him so you let him do as he pleases. Much to his content.
He goes to bring the covers over your arms but you lift them up to keep them on top. He barely raises a brow over it but he doesn't make a fuss. Instead he kisses your forehead, the tip of your nose then your lips. Focusing on your lips he kisses them a few times more before pulling back. It actually makes you wonder about something.
"Hoseok," you say.
He hums questioningly.
"Aren't you worried I might get you sick?"
His head tilts a little as he pouts. "Why would I get sick?"
"Because you keep kissing me and I'm sick."
Hoseok smiles before perching himself on top of the bed so he can straddle you. He pushes the strands of hair that slipped from the braid he did for you out of your face.
"I don't get sick easily."
"Oh." Is all you can muster.
It's a reasonable thought you had but he isn't the least bit concerned.
"I'm not one to get sick so easily. Not like Seokjin or Jungkook. I've always been like that since I was a kid. If I do get sick it's a pretty big deal but for the most part I'm fine."
You swallow and feel the way your throat aches. "Don't you think you're risking it though?"
The edges of his lips curl into a smile. "If I don't kiss you then who will?" He's trying to be cute.
His words make you think about Namjoon but you're quick to clear those thoughts lest he find a way to read your mind. That's something you're glad he can't do.
His hand comes up to cup your face where his thumb swipes over your cheek. He seems to grow serious and the look he sends your way sends a wave of discomfort over you. He looks concerned. Like a negative thought has struck him but he's trying his best to not let it show. You would ask him what's wrong but do you really want to know?
Hoseok licks his lips and gives you a small smile that barely reaches his eyes. "I love you, Y/N. I know I say that a lot but I really, truly love you. I don't know what I would do without you."
His eyes seems to grow teary and the idea of a crying Hoseok hits you and hits you in all the wrong places. If you thought you felt uncomfortable before then you feel so ten times more now.
Your hand reaches up for his to pull it off your face but he just laces your fingers together.
"Tell me you love me."
Your head jerks the slightest bit at his command.
He wants you to tell him you love him? Over your dead body, but instead of feeling entirely mad you actually feel concerned. How can you express the words he seeks when you don't in fact love him? Your heart's rhythm grows quick and heavy with the fact that you can't give him what he wants. And he seems to notice that because his eyes grow even more watery.
What was with him? What can you do to get him to stop? What can you do to appease him for the time being? The only words you can think of to say stand firm on the tip of your tongue. You think maybe you should stay quiet but they slip between your lips anyway.
"Kiss me."
His brows draw upwards for a moment before he gives you a teary smile and leans down to do just that. Kiss you.
Your lips meet and you swear you can feel every ounce of emotion he's bleeding in to you. His hand that's wound with yours squeezes you tightly to the point it has you gasping in pain. He pauses as your lips part and for a short second he does nothing but keep you close. Until you moan in pain his name where he then releases you so he can cup your face with both his hands.
"I love you," he whispers. "I love you. I Iove you."
He meets your lips again with his own and kisses you deeply.
You don't know what's come over him. This isn't the Hoseok you're used to. The Hoseok who always seemed so sure of himself. It's giving you whiplash and you have to admit that you're worried.
What happened to make him this way? Did you say or do something? Does he... does he know about you and Namjoon? No, he wouldn't act like this because of that right? You had to have said something to make him act like you're about to slip between his fingers. You just have zero recollection of what it could have been.
You pull back to breathe and place a hand against his chest. When he tries to kiss you again you keep your hand firm against him.
"Hoseok wait."
He pulls back to stare at you and for the moment that he looks you deep in your eyes something switches within him. He just smiles like nothing is wrong with him. Like he didn't just try drowning you in his love. He smiles and smiles and the sheen over his eyes seems to lessen.
"I know," he says. "I know it's going to take some time but I know deep down, you love me. It's just going to take some time."
He seems to have convinced himself this because he sits up a little so that he's somewhat hovering over you with a content look. You're shaken up though. The event makes you swallow deeply in concern.
Should you ask him what that was about? You want to but you're also nervous. There's no way he knows about you and Namjoon. If he did he wouldn't have let his brother leave so easily like he did earlier and you doubt he'd be so calm save for that little episode he had just now.
You lick your lips while your hand rests still against his chest. "Hoseok," you say. "What - what's wrong?"
The smile leaves his lips and he's just left staring at you with an unreadable expression. There he goes again. Hiding himself from you. It's hard to get a read on him when he's like this. It's one of your least favorite things about him. You know besides the obsession and possessiveness. It makes the hand on his chest twitch a little. It makes you wriggle a little beneath him in discomfort.
"Y/N," he says.
He garners your attention with his sudden silence and you wait until he speaks again so he can lower you from the suspension he holds you up on.
"Do you want me? Want what I can give you?"
Your head tilts a little in question.
Where was he going with this? Hoseok never does something without a plan. Was the teary eyes just merely a ruse? A ruse to get you where he wants you?
He's waiting for an answer and you contemplate on the answer.
You do want what he can give you, but it's not in the way he thinks. You want his saliva. You want it so bad and the ugly addiction that eats you up from the inside out makes your lips tremble with an answer.
He doesn't even have to ask you again. You don't think he was planning to anyway but you're quick to answer him with a small whisper. A "Yes."
His lips curl into a smile that feels so devious despite not looking the part, but he has his answer and he delivers his own with a kiss to your lips. A kiss where he slips the tip of his tongue out to run across the seam of your lips and you open up to let him inside.
Your eyes are shut but you feel something wet land on your cheek. You don't know what it is but you vaguely wonder if it's the tears he's been meaning to shed but you're too lost when your tongues meet. Too lost to care about anything else that isn't his toxic kiss.
The high lifts you up and over the moon that shines through the curtains. It's like you're in heaven though the reality is that you're in hell. For a brief moment you think you can live like this but you know this feeling doesn't last forever because what you have shouldn't last for so long. For the time being though you relish in the feeling he gives you. Relish in the way he brings you to the top before the inevitable drop back down to the ground.
Your hand on his chest goes to fist his shirt. You keep him close this way and open your mouth even wider so you can drown in his kiss. He's giving himself up willingly to you like this. He's always willing to give you all of him.
When you part to breathe your eyes open and you see that he did cry. That what you felt was a tear of his. You're too high to ask him why he cried but you don't know if you really want to know.
Hoseok takes the moment to breathe before leaning over to kiss your neck. His hands move to hold your breasts as he nips at your skin leaving you covered in his marks. Just as he likes it.
You moan at the feel of his teeth and gasp at a particularly harsh nip. You know you'll be left with bruises he won't allow you to cover but it's the least of your problems right now.
He sits up with a sigh and bends his arm so he can rest an elbow on your pillow and perch the side of his face against his fist. He just watches you now. Watches the way your eyes glaze over. Watches the way your lips part in pure relaxation. Lifting his other hand he goes to wipe away the tear that landed on your cheek and smiles.
"I love you, Y/N."
A small whine escapes you as your hand that was gripping his shirt begins to grow lax.
Licking his lips Hoseok caresses your cheek. Running his fingers over your face and down to your neck where he traces the marks he left behind.
"You probably," he stops. "You probably don't know what's going on right now but you don't have to worry. I'll love you for the both of us. Love us for the both of us. Until you can love me back. Just whatever you do. Don't leave me. No matter what. Okay?"
You whine again and nod your head. You don't even think you know what you're even agreeing to. You just know that you want what Hoseok has to offer right now. More of what he's given you.
"Kiss me," you say. "Please."
Hoseok's smile grows wider. "Whatever you want, my love."
The two of you kiss again but it's soft and languid. Neither of you are in a rush and you give and he takes and you take and he gives. The feeling coursing through you is outstanding and you know you can never have enough of it. Too bad you won't have it forever but for now you'll take what you can get.
Your tongues mingle and dance with one another. Massaging each other until you're moaning into his mouth. He moans back and by now he'd have his hand between your legs but he refrains from doing that. Instead he just kisses you and kisses you until you can't breathe again. When he pulls back he leans in to kiss your cheek then sits up to give you some space.
You're far beyond out of it and he lets you be as you are. At some point he stands up and goes off to use the bathroom while you're flying high. You can't stand looking without seeing up at the ceiling so you just close your eyes. You think you hear the people on the TV arguing but who cares? They're not where you are right now. Maybe that's why they're so angry. They just need to get high. Who knows?
When Hoseok comes back he slips beneath the covers to join you and holds you close. You can sense his eyes on you but you have nothing to say about it. Let him stare, you think. He's the least of your worries right now.
You're on a time limit now. Soon you'll come down but for now you're good. Hoseok has given you enough to hold you over for the time being.
When you slowly blink your eyes open it's like the high is reminding you that you're still up there with the world seeming to spin around you so you close them again. You're better off with your eyes closed.
Hoseok's hand that rests on your stomach comes up to push your strands of hair behind your ear. You think you hear him lick his lips before he parts them to speak.
"Let me know when you've come down."
You hum in response because it's all you can do right now.
More minutes pass by until you start to feel it. You're coming down from the high and all you're left with is nothing. You feel empty without it but there's nothing you can do other than to accept it. It's boring like this even a little dreadful but it is what it is.
You sigh deeply and mumble an "Okay" to Hoseok. He takes that chance to sit up on his arm to look over you and caress your face with the back of his hand with the other.
"Look at me," he says.
And you do. Your eyes flutter open and you're seeing him. The way his smile seems to grow the longer he stares at you.
"Hi."
You lick your lips. "Hi."
"How are you feeling now?"
"Okay I guess." You shrug your shoulders.
He stops caressing you so he can place his hand over your chest. Over your heart where he can feel it pound if he presses hard enough.
"Sorry about that."
Your brows furrow in confusion. "About what?"
His smile simmers down into a soft one that barely reaches his eyes.
"For getting emotional. I know there's nothing wrong with being emotional but I'm usually much more tamed."
Tamed? The word makes you huff a laugh but if he knows it's at his expense he doesn't show it. You doubt he knows that's why you laughed.
To avoid problems you just shrug your shoulders again. "People get emotional. It's life."
Your words seem to alight something within him because the edge of his lips tilts upwards into a crooked smile.
"Yeah it is life."
He looks around the room for a moment as if he's looking for something else to say. You take that chance to look off towards the side and you note the world isn't spinning like before. What you are hit with is the sudden urge to pee so you grab his hand and push it off to sit up.
"You okay?"
You nod your head. "I have to use the bathroom."
He pushes away from you to allow you some space as you stand up to head off.
While you're using the toilet you take the chance to rub your face with a sigh.
Hoseok inadvertently admitted that something was wrong. You don't know what made him act the way he acted and you have half a mind to ask him but you're stuck between wanting to know and not wanting to know. You could care less but if this will somehow affect your chances of escaping down the line or your time with Namjoon you think you should know what's up. Yeah. You'll ask him what's wrong. You just have to know.
You finish up in the bathroom and wash your hands. When you come back to the bedroom you see that he's staring at the TV. You stand by the doorway and begin to worry your hands between each other. When he realizes what you're doing his eyes snap to you and he frowns.
"You okay, baby?"
You purse your lips as you make your way over to the bed.
"Hoseok," you say as you sit down before him. "Why did you get emotional earlier?"
His brows raise the slightest bit at your question.
He looks like he's pondering on whether or not he should tell you. With the way his eyes shift left to right then back onto you.
"I figured you wouldn't remember."
You frown. What did he mean by that?
"I'm sorry," you ask in confusion.
Hoseok sighs but he pats your spot on the bed beckoning you to lie down. You do so hesitantly until you're perched on your arm like him staring face to face.
He grabs the covers and places them over you and tucks them around your waist. He's stalling. That you know for sure.
Breathing deeply he looks at you and gives you a smile that doesn't last long. You're about to say his name again but he speaks before you can.
"A few days ago. When you first got sick. You asked me something."
"What did I ask?"
He licks his lips. "What happens if I break your heart?"
The look of confusion on your face says it all for him.
You shake your head. "I don't remember asking that."
"I figured you wouldn't. You seemed really out of it." He brings a hand up to brush his fingers over your cheekbone. "I was going to let it slide but you were very adamant in wanting to know what would happen if you did that. I told you I know you wouldn't do that but it just had me thinking. Left me feeling concerned," he pauses. "You wouldn't do that, right?"
He's giving you that look. The one that seeks reassurance. It's a little overwhelming for you to see but what else can you do other than to tell him things were going to be okay?
You have no idea why you were both brave and stupid enough to ask that question. Like he said, you were out of it. That's the only explanation why. Now though you're left with someone who looks the slightest bit insecure. It's a first for you and it leaves you feeling unnerved yet powerful. Here you are holding Hoseok's heart in your hand. You could crush it. You doubt he'd let you go so easily but you could potentially break his heart here and now. If you know what's good for you you wouldn't dare. Otherwise his defenses will come up and you'll never see the light of day again. It's still tempting to do. You want to see him crushed but you won't do it. Can't do it. Not only because you have to play the part but you also realize you don't have a cruel bone in your body. You're not made to be cruel. You're just not.
"I can't," you start to say. How should you word this? "I can't do that. I don't see myself doing that."
There's a glossy sheen that takes over his eyes before he brings an arm around you to hold you close. He inhales your scent with a sniffle and you think he just might be crying.
"I'll trust you," he says. "Even if you don't mean that. I trust you know what's best."
What's best for you. For him. You feel so stuck in the middle. Like a fly caught in a spider's web. No matter how much you wiggle you just can't find a way out. Is it your fault that you're this stuck? Yes and no. It's a tricky question. Everything about this is tricky.
When he pulls back he goes to wipe his eyes before smiling at you. He doesn't look as worked up anymore and it brings you a small sense of peace.
You're used to the confident Hoseok and not that his sensitive side makes him weak but you're not used to it. All it does is make you worry.
The two of you go back to watching TV and wait until it's time to eat. It's not that long of a wait and most of the time is spent with both you and Hoseok making out. You're surprised he's so willing to give you the high more than once and you suspect it's all due to the recent conversation you had. He's feeling clingy and wants more of you. All of you really.
Your leg is hiked over his hip with him lying partially on top of you. His cool hand is slipped under your shirt palming at your breast - hardening your nipple to a peak. The occasional moan slips out of you with one of your hands in his hair and the other gripping the front of his shirt tightly. He's not far behind with the noises he makes. Absolutely salacious.
He pulls back a little so he can bite your bottom lip. He does it hard enough to make you gasp but he soothes the ache with his tongue. A silent apology.
The hand gripping his shirt loosens and slips between you so you can palm him over his pajamas. He's semi-hard and it twitches at the feel of your touch.
He takes in a quick short breath before resting his forehead onto your collarbone.
"Wait," he says but you're still touching him.
He has to grit his teeth before forcing you to stop with the hand he pulls out from under your shirt.
"Y/N wait."
In your high state of mind you make a questioning sound. "What," you slur.
"I don't want to go too far. You should be resting."
Your brows furrow as your eyes close. He's right but you're not in the right state of mind. All you know is that you want more and he's a somewhat willing participant.
"I'm fine Hoseok. Just give me more. Please." You release his clothed cock so you can wrap your other leg around him and pull him flushed against you.
"But you're sick, Y/N."
You arch your back as if you were in pain. "I don't care, Hoseok. I don't care."
With the hand in his hair you pull him up to which he hisses but it's over quickly when your lips meet again.
Hoseok groans into your mouth and as if your words were all he needed to hear he slips his hand between you two and into your shorts where he palms your sex.
"You really want it," he questions between kiss.
You can only nod your head before slipping your tongue into his mouth.
Hoseok grabs the side of your head to keep your lips close as he maneuvers himself so that he's kneeling between your legs. Your head can barely comprehend what's happening right now but you know it's what your high state of mind wanted.
He's quick to raise your shirt above your breasts and they peak from the cool air. The next to go are your shorts and underwear leaving your bottom half completely exposed to him. He takes the chance then to remove his clothes entirely before palming his weeping cock that stands at full attention now.
With your distracted mind you jump when you feel his fingers touch your core. He slips his fingers over your entrance to spread your slick everywhere and makes it easier for him to slip into you easily. You sigh at the feeling as he begins to stretch you out. He spreads his fingers apart with every pump until your walls begin to relax around him. When that happens he slips a third finger inside and repeats the process. He's not here to go faster than the pace he's already going. He's just concentrating on relaxing you for him.
As soon as you're ready he pulls himself out and aligns his cock with your hole that leaks more of your arousal. Your high state amps up the pleasure that you're feeling and so when he begins to slip inside your back arches. Even with the foreplay he's still a tight fit but at least it doesn't hurt.
Your toes curl as he slips more and more of himself in until he reaches the hilt. He presses his hips into you and leans over to grab your hands. His fingers lace with your own and he brings them up above your head to rest. With a slow and steady pace he begins to move leaving you to feel ultimate pleasure.
He's in no rush. He's just taking the time to feel you just as you feel him. This type of sex is new to you. You're used to the fast and hard feeling. Now he snaps his hips into you at a languid place but the pleasure is steadily building up.
There's something so sweet about this. You're not ready to acknowledge all of that but for now you'll let things be as is. This slow and gentle sex that has you pulsating around him makes him openly moan. Your lips part to let out a moan yourself. Your breaths intermingle with every pump of his hips. One after another. One after another...
There's a particularly harsh thrust he makes that makes you gasp but he doesn't go any harder than that.
"Y/N. Look at me," he commands.
And you do. Your eyes are open and take him in. You see the way his eyes have turned blue and you know he's feeling it. His scleras grow red with unshed blood but they glisten like he has to cry again.
"I love you, Y/N." He begins to pant. "I love you so much."
You whine at his words and in a delirious state you reciprocate his feelings. "I love you too."
That seems to do it for him because he closes his eyes in pure bliss.
You ride each other out - slowly but surely nearing the end. His hands squeeze yours but not enough to make it hurt. Only enough to keep him grounded as he pushes in then out. Despite it being new to you you find that you enjoy this type of sex. You just need a little bit more.
His pace picks up a bit with a shaky breath. "Are you close?"
You whine. "Yeah."
He releases one of your hands so that he can play with your clit. A substantial amount of pressure that he rolls in circles with his thumb. You're entirely slick down there and it makes the turns his digit makes smooth. You gasp out loud to the feeling he sends throughout your body. You're definitely close and he can tell with the way your walls flutter around him.
"Come on, baby," he says. "Give it to me."
You moan out loud as you hold his hand tighter.
"Ah Hoseok I'm so close!"
"I know, beautiful." He picks up the pace a little. Both his hips and his thumb. "Come for me."
You gasp over and over again - your body trembling beneath him. Your legs wrap tighter around him limiting his space of movement but it doesn't slow him down.
You're so close and he realizes you're about to come when your walls clamp down on him. So tight that he hisses in pleasure before he comes tumbling down right after you.
His hips jerk over and over with each powerful burst of cum that spills from him. Your walls massage his length and pulls from him everything he's got. The sight of you two is pure eroticism as you come together. Until there's nothing left but weary bones. It doesn't stop him from biting you though and taking your blood deep inside him. He rolls his hips as he drinks from your neck leaving you feeling just the slightest bit light-headed.
When he comes to a still inside of you he retracts his mouth to lick your wound and just lets you keep him warm. It's wet and messy down there but he wouldn't have it any other way. And apparently neither would you when you're this high.
Hoseok sighs before pulling out a move that makes the two of you hiss. He sits up and pulls your legs apart so he can admire your sex.
"Push," he says and you know what he means.
You push down a little until you feel his cum slowly slip out of you. He brings his thumb over to smear his essence and brings it up to his lips to taste. He takes it all in before leaning over and kissing you so you can taste him just as well. You're not a fan of the taste but you take what he can give and if whatever he gives comes with the high then you'll have it.
You kiss slow and long until you both have to come up for air. Your body feels heavy after cumming and because of the state of mind you're in. You can feel the way Hoseok kisses your forehead before removing your shirt off of you.
You know what comes next. He expects for the two of you to shower, but not right now. Right now you just need to relax. At least until the high leaves you. It stays for a while and you enjoy every bit of it. It's when you start to come down do you realize what your actions lead you up to and you're left feeling shameful.
You shouldn't feel shameful you think. It's not the first and will possibly not be the last that you do this. You scratch his back and he scratches yours. You want the high and so you give him your body and your nonexistent love. It's the high that possesses you to say and do wild things. You'll deal with these things another time. For now it is what it is.
You'll let him take care of you however he sees fit and you'll lose yourself in him. It's just how things are. You'll take it. Even if it makes him fall more in love with you every time you do it.
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last updated: 10/Oct/2023
Submissions open: see below the cut.
Submitting a map, best practice; a masterpost
I thought I'd make a styleguide and masterpost for how to submit a map!
On backups: First things first, take a video of the result as a backup. Load the code, skip to the end, see the funny cephalopods dance and hold in the screen capture button. If an update ruins your code, this backup will live on until you delete it. I take the video right away instead of watching a replay and take the screens from that video recording where I can pause and scrub for the frame I want.
1st preference: I love receiving your codes; I'll do all the work for you! Please also make a backup via video capture because updates kill your match codes (learned this the hard way). You can go to the terminal in the lobby and save a game to recieve its code!
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The splatoon font is utterly incomprehensible, so please make a backup screenshot of the code; if you typo and then play too many matches, you can lose the code and with it the map. this happens more than you think and it's sad to not be able to feature your map!
On codes: Codes can be generated from any of your last 50 matches, "no-contests" included, and remain available until a patch breaks continuity. Once you have a code, it's saved and you can play as much as you want right away, play 60 more matches and your code persists! Patches can take us by surprise, however, so please prepare a backup.
Second preference; If you're the kind of person who wants to submit screenshots, remember that you need to submit two!
The "question" image should be a clean image of the map, before it is obscured by the handsome judges. This one is easy to grab because the map is displayed for about 3 seconds. This should not be the mid-match map.
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The "answer" image should be after the splash of the colliding ink, but before the banner drops. This can be a little tricky to pin down unless you're taking the capture from a video capture. This is very difficult to grab from a twitter video because you cannot pause the video without the video controls being overlayed, but easy on switch where you can track, pause and save the frame as a screenshot.
For Splatfests, if you want to include the vicory or defeat message becasue it's a multiplier battle, feel free to keep it included.
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Some advice: Lil Judd and I like to curate interesting and close maps, especially ones that have you scratching your head: to this end, please also submit interesting losses too, noone is thinking less of you for it, we are not @squids-posting-their-ws. It's no fun if you can guess the answer, just because it's a submitted map.
Finally; A video capture (hold in the screenshot button) of the results screen is also a valid option. You could upload the video somewhere manually, but while twitter exists, Nintendo lets you post directly to twitter. A link to your tweet is enough (so long as I can see it, a protected account might need to upload the video to youtube as an alternative).
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It helps out if you trim your clip: best practice is to have the clip start at the black screen before the map is shown, and end after the banner has come down, but before the players are displayed.
Asks and messages are open! If your messages are open, too, I'll let you know when I've queued your map so long as I have the spoons (as in, when your map enters the hopper, I have a lot of maps and am not sure when it will be seen, but it will be!). To be able to post properly, the blog can't accept submissions via the tumblr submission section; strange, I know.
I make a note of your blog name, for credit purposes, when I queue the map, so if you change your blog name between submission and posting, I might have diffculty crediting you.
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kebriones · 8 months
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I am here once again hello
I am so terribly hyperficated in Alcibiades I have not stopped thinking about him
I just really don't know how/what I can read or consume that in some way involves him and you're my best bet, please enlighten me on your knowledge you seem to possess
HELLO HELLO
alright well, I will include some reading links, as many as I can, even the basic ones, since I don't know what you've already read or not:
The symposium (alcibiades arrives at page 28/35 of the pdf) sorry for the bad quality, if you have trouble reading it I can send a different one, this is simply a translation I personally rather like
his biography by plutarch mega important reading
(not linked but if you're feeling really hungry, get a copy of thucydides and go looking for all the alcibiades mentions in there. best of luck. Thucydides is probably the single most accurate account we have of alcibiades)
The first Alcibiades (it's a proper platonic dialogue between socrates and alcibiades.)
This whole book about him which I believe you know about because i see you have liked my previous post about it but I am linking it just in case.
The speech of Alcibiades by martha nussbaum, I personally find this extremely enjoyable to read, i recommend having read his bit from the symposium to understand what's going on.
okay from here on out these are just from my bookmarks and I don't remember which are good and which are not, feel free to dig through them as you please (the jstor stuff require you to make a free acount to read them) (I also recommend having read the symposium and plutarch at least to understand most of what these are talking about) apologies in advance for any that may not actually be available without uni access.
Article on JSTOR about his relationship to some ancient plays
This article it starts talking about alcibiades on page 6/13 of the pdf
this short text which i thought had some interesting ideas (but the website is bright yellow so maybe you can use some settings to turn it to balck and white because at least to me this feels horrible on the eyes)
pretty big article about eros and tyranny which discusses alcibiades and plato, i don't remember much of it
short text about his military/political career
jstor thingy about him and socrates in the symposium
yet another pdf about alcibiades and socrates
alcibiades and the failure of socratic rationalism or smth i don't remember again
this isn't a text, it's pictures of his daughter's grave. thought i'd include it
french film of the first alcibiades doesn't have subtitles and it's wierdly shot but hey if you're deep in obsession maybe it doesn't matter
more about erotic tyranny and alcibiades uwu
yet another jstor article about him I don't remember
alcibiades and aristophanes' birds if the other article about him being related to plays wasn't unhinged enough for you
a study in violets cool title, it's about alcibiades
the loves of alcibiades, one more jstor article
other random article about alcibiades
the socratic turn to alcibiades I believe you need an academia.edu account (free i think) to read this
then there's two novels which I think aren't too bad to read, "the last of the wine" which isn't focused on alcibiades but has a few scenes with him and is overall very well written and features a really good set of protagonists imo
the second novel is "the flowers of adonis" and while it's not as great overall as a book as the last of the wine is, this one is actually focused on alcibiades. Only problem is that he isn't as bisexual as he should be in this but you can treat it as fanfiction and somewhat ignore that maybe? idk, it has some nice bits in my opinion.
speaking fo fanfiction there's a couple very good ones on ao3 (not talking about my own, there's one in particular that's a single chapter about him and aristophanes that is just UGH SO GOOD)
there's also this short sci-fi-esque story about alcibiades which is quite nice: https://web.archive.org/web/20141225183208/http://www.asimovs.com/Nebulas03/gods.shtml
and last but not least if you've made it this far, I have the only podcast thingy that I remember not having as huge inaccuracies and BS as most other ones i've heard. I still recommend having already read plutarch's life of alcibiades beforehand but if anyone reading this post doesn't wanna do reading and prefers to listen to something for starters, this is a good start, as far as I remember. you can listen to it HERE I will also give it a listen as i'm working and will edit this post if I find any issues with it.
HAVE FUN :D
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fairuzfan · 7 months
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Do you have any advice for people wanting to help anonymously?
It depends on how anonymously you'd like to help! Some things like social media archiving is relatively anonymous and can be done privately in your home without others seeing.
To a certain extent, sharing content on social media can be anonymous if you have vpns and tor browsers and if your account is not associated with your real life persona.
Though if you're talking about in person help, I'd recommend wearing a mask that covers the features of your face (something like a KN95 for both covid reasons and privacy reasons), sunglasses that cover your eyes, and a Kuffiyeh or other type of head+neck wrap. Of course you'd also need to wear nonidentifiable clothing and leave your phone at home. People who are security experts might have more to talk about electronics and their use in anonymous work like this though.
You might also be a connector of sorts — like you know a guy who knows a guy who is directly in touch with the president of your organization and they've yet to make a statement. You could connect someone (like an activist in your area) and ask them to talk to this specific person that you kinda know.
Other than that, I'm not sure what else. If anyone else has any ideas or experience, feel free to let us know! Thanks for sending this in.
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wrenniebaby · 2 years
Text
witchy woman | eddie munson
fleetwood mac! / witch! fem! reader x eddie munson
summary : the five interaction eddie had with the local light witch, they are both outcasts in similar, yet much different ways
warnings : drug use (weed + mushrooms), cursing, divination mentions and use
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ note from oph : this is a repost off my old account, but it is one of my favorites.
-
the first time eddie had met the light witch, she was barefoot in the woods where he usually sold. she wore a flowy cream colored skirt and a small cropped top, looking like the epitome of the 60s. he was awestruck, she sat atop of the picnic table, a deck of tarot cards spread in front of her. her eyes were peacefully shut as she hovered her hands to pick the next card.
a branch beneath his foot breaking altered her of his presence, he blushed lightly throwing an embarrassed smile her way. “eddieboy!” she greeted, a large smile beaming at him. she always had called him that, neither were sure of why. it always made him feel nice, finally a nickname that wasn't derogatory.
he sat on one of the benches, watching as she did her ritualistic practices. totally enamoured in the complete way she carried herself. a flower crown laid upon her head, slightly crooked from the way she tilted when she got confused.
“whatcha doin?” he asked as he looked at the collection of rocks nearby. “tarot! I could give you a reading if you'd like?” anything to spend more time with you, he thought but just nodded, afraid to say anything revealing. she spread the cards in front of him. “pick as many cards as you want.” she instructed. he just picked up a random card, one that called him to it. he didn't believe in all this witchy stuff but he trusted and believed in her. the ace of cups stared back at the two of them, “means new relationships, emotions and love. seems like you have love coming your way.” she smiled at him, he took note of the meaning, but thinking too good to be true.
-
the second time that the two interacted was when she showed up to his trailer, her bike leaning against his van. a soft knock rasped at his door. he opened it to see her distractedly looking at the stars, he cleared his throat to get her attention. without looking away from the night sky, she commented “big dipper is bigger than normal. hm.” she then turned to him, enveloping him into a hug. the sweet action taking him by surprise, he hugged back instantly, not knowing when this would happen again. “you looked like you need a hug, also i got a surprise for you.” curiosity piqued his interest at the statement. she was always the type to physically affectionate, even with people she didn't necessarily know that well. worry spiked eddie's emotions, if anyone ever took advantage of her…
he thought to himself, before stepping aside to let the girl into his messy trailer, he'd feel ashamed of the mess but he knew she didn't mind one bit. they'd gone to school together as long as the two could remember, her always one grade below him. she lived farther back in the trailer park, so they had seen each other on occasion. she sat cross-legged in front of the couch, pulling out a bag from her bra. “mushrooms!” she excitedly spoke, pouring some of the dried edible into his hand. “i know you like to get high, so I thought I'd share. you don't mind, do you?” worry clouded her features as he sat down next to her on the floor. “not at all, sunshine.” sunshine, what was supposed to be a negative nickname about her optimistic behavior, was something she would never take as an insult. she loved the idea of being the epitome of sunshine, of warmth, able to provide a little light to the darkest days. it was something eddie loved about her, did he love her? he thought to himself, well, how could anyone not? she was sweet, beautiful and the most caring individual anyone had ever met. the way her eyes glistened in the sun, those (y/e/c) orbs making him feel truly seen.
he couldn't think about it much longer or he'd be confessing every emotion he held for the spiritual soul. the two took the mushroom, watching some old cartoon on the television and giggling to each other.
she leaned her head on his shoulder as time passes.it was late when she showed up, the late morning arriving faster than either noticed. they feel asleep on the couch, limbs tangled together, it wasn't supposed to happen, but happy accidents can be celebrated too. when eddie woke, as he never was good at staying asleep. her hair spread all over his chest, soft snores coming from her lips all he could do was admire her. a little bit of drool seeped into the cotton of his shirt, I could get used to this.
-
pain tugged at his heart strings as he watched her from across the cafeteria, she was laughing at something one of her friends said. i want her to laugh at my jokes. jealous pulled at him, and distracted him for the campaign talk, his party was talking about. he watched as she gave some crystals to some friends, buttercup flowers tucked into the bun sported by her. he thought what it would be like to help her brush and braid her hair. what is wrong with me? why am I so hung up on this girl? he felt like if the pair didn't start dating soon, he might implode.
and that's how he ended back in the girl's usual spot of the forest, he found her sat in the center of fairy circle, humming ‘leather and lace’ by stevie nicks. he thought it fit the two of you perfectly, your soft voice singly lightly, “give to me your leather, and take from me, my lace.”
once again, a branch breaking under his boots alerted the fairy-tale like princess in front of him, turning quickly she saw the boy of your dreams. “hey sunshine, I got a question to ask you?” he said it as a question, nerves obviously getting the best of him. she gave him her undivided attention, “yes, eds?” it wasn't often that people used that version of his name, it left him feeling like he was in a movie, something that he couldn't find the words to describe.
“can I be your boyfriend?” the question blurted out before he could find a better way to word it. a soft smile lit up sunshine's features, as if he'd just told her he got tickets to fleetwood mac. i have to take her to one of their concerts, he mentally noted. he needed to see her completely in her element. “i’d love that, to be honest, I've been crushing on you awhile, but anxieties can get the best of anyone.” she giggled lightly at the end, and he swore that's what heaven sounded like. his heaven. his girlfriend. never in a million years, did he think he'd find the love of his life at hawkins high. especially not one so nice.
-
their first kiss gave eddie the same emotions as when he listened to black sabbath for the first time. something about it was so sweet, and full of love, and he swore he'd never be able to find a love like this again. this was a once in a lifetime spark and eddie would do anything under the sun to keep her. he was the moon to her sun, the leather to her lace.
they sat in eddie's van, on their way to lovers lake. sunshine vowed that it had the best view of the stars, she wants to point out all the constellations, all she wanted was to share everything with him. that's what relationships were all about, finding that person that you could spill your darkest secrets to.
they sat upon the big rock, their backs slightly aching from the points digging into their soft flesh. she stared at the sky, and he stared at her. the way she got absolutely ecstatic when there was another constellation that she recognized, telling eddie every fact and fable she knew about the balls of light.
she had finally stopped rambling, turning to look at the man next to her. she could see stars in his eyes, everything about their dynamic was picture perfect to her. “you’re so pretty.” she commented to him, dragging a couple fingers through his tangled locks. “babe, I'm absolutely positive you're the pretty one in our relationship.” he pushed forward and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, which she easily reciprocated. their lips fitting together like molds made for one another. she sighed dreamily into the kiss, barely believing that this was her reality, and not just another daydream she had come up with.
-
the two laid on eddie's bed, softly singing to the mixtape eddie had made with a combination of both of their tastes. dreams played lowly in the background, while eddie told her about all of his dreams, how he wanted to someday be one of the most popular rock musicians ever. she talked about how she wants to do art for the rest of her life, hundreds of portraits of eddie living in her sketchbook.
her nails raked softly against his scalp, soft approving hums coming from his throat, his eyes closed. he finally felt safe. he never thought this would be a feeling, he'd get the pleasure of experiencing. with her right by his side, he knew no matter what happened it would all be okay. his guardian angel here to give him the optimism, he often forgot. she admiringly stared at the boy on her chest. the way soft breathes left his mouth, how his thumb softly grazed circles on her, how he was always so gentle with her. as he couldn't believe she was his, she couldn't believe he was hers. her protector.
“i love you, eds.” she poke so calmly, as if it wasn't the first time either of them had said the big word. she was ever eager to display her emotions, they basically were painted on her face. or maybe he could just read her like a book. he looked at her in shock, he had deemed himself unlovable a long time ago. hell, his parents weren't even around, the only person to ever be there for him was his uncle. so they fact that an angel I'm human skin would love him so unabashedly amazed him. “i love you, sunshine.”
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thirst2 · 3 months
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It's been said, before, and I think anyone remotely familiar with open-source has experienced or heard it but I'm still always taken aback by how much technological infrastructure was built to be general-purpose and malleable by the common user and how much corporations obfuscated and erased this.
Even in the tagging system for .mp3 files – ID3, an open standard –, I'm finding all kinds of functionality they accounted for that makes a lot of sense for a music file to specify (like lyrics synch.ed to timestamps and being able to specify events in the song like the outro or intro or the refrain or an interlude).
And I was just completely unaware of them because no music player on Windows ever offered them (alright; I mostly used iTunes, at the time, but the point stands).
iTunes saves any ratings you apply to songs in its own database; I never used the system in part because I've never found a need but, primarily, because I didn't want to invest a bunch of time and effort into something I'd lose the second I switched music players.
Oh; but did you know ID3 (v2) has a rating tag? One that iTunes could have used and then I'd take my ratings wherever I take my files with me?
Not only that but rating for a song are marked by an E-mail of the person rating; I expect it was largely to provide a unique identifier of some sort (and very 90s/00s to assume an E-mail is one's primary form of unique ID) but that means that songs can be rated by multiple people.
When your friends give you a copy of their favorite songs on a USB drive, those songs would've had their ratings.
Like a lot of tech. (especially early) architecture, this part fails to account for the presence of bad actors and spam but it also means you could reach out to those who rated the song, before you; their E-mail's right there.
Back when we traded AOL handles and the notion of communicating with those you knew but weren't nearby was exciting and new, we could have reached out to the friend of a friend of a friend at school who'd rated the song before handing it off until it reached us.
Even – now –, accounting for not wanting to attach your E-mail to a file that you'd, then, have to worry about getting into hands which might abuse that personal info. about you, being able for multiple people to tag a song is cool.
If I setup a Raspberry Pi at home and setup the Music Player Daemon on it for Jude and I to both put our songs on to listen to, etc., we could both tag the songs with our ratings and see what the other thought of the music we were sharing.
Like…this is some cool functionality ideas; this is some nice architecture. You just need the players to implement the functionality.
But they didn't; iTunes setup their own rating system (whether to tie people to their music player or not, I have no idea) and I never bothered to use what could be a sort of communal feature.
When I get excited about tech., these are the things that initially drew me to it – the ability to not only make my life, as a spoonie, easier but the ability to make all kinds of stuff we do everyday easier and with more people and to connect us all even more.
From the ability to making things more accessible without having to rely on others as much for it to…I dunno; the possibilities are endless.
Instead, the sheer joy so many of my generation had at creating their personal web pages by playing around with HTML and CSS became harder to construct because these businesses didn't care to make these experiences accessible because they didn't make them money.
I will never not be angry about that.
In any case, I'm at the point where anything further I might say is something I've already said before here on the subject; but I'm going to have these other tags be more accessible in my player. There's some really neat functionality in there that someone might want to utilize if presented in a more user-friendly manner (the original job of the music player implementations, to begin with…).
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