#like my other character this one is neither faction because they both suck. i did go with ralof tho because i mean. nice house and stuff

[v-hope]

Unscripted

Pairing: Actor!Kim Taehyung x Actress!Reader ft. (mentions of) Park Hyungsik

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 3.1k

Request: “Is this the moment that we kiss? + Taehyung + make it so awkward/cringe as you can and the ending so cute that you might have to throw up from it”

Summary: There might have been a slight change in the script for the k-drama Taehyung and you were starring on, but that did not mean there were any changes when it came to the way you felt towards each other when the cameras weren’t rolling.

A/N: So this was supposed to be a smol drabble but this idea came to my mind and I just went with it 🤧 i hope you guys enjoy!

When Taehyung had signed up to be a part of the next big k-drama coming later that year, starring both you and one of his favourite hyungs, Park Hyungsik, as his co-stars, he had signed up for a love triangle kind of plot, which would end up with him getting the girl in the end.

At least that was what the first script he had been handed to said.

And, as the story went on and your characters’ relationship developed, he could only be confident about that being indeed the outcome for it.

So now, after nearly three months of filming, it was finally the day they would shoot his first kiss with you. Well, his character’s first kiss with yours, to be more specific. Those were the lines he had rehearsed and also what he had emotionally prepared himself for — the idea of getting to kiss those lips of yours he had wanted to get a taste of ever since you first met, being the reason he had gotten little to no sleep the night before.

And that’s why, when the two of you were working on said scene, being face to face after he had followed you into Jieun’s —that being the role you were playing— living room, and you said different lines than the ones on his script, he found himself being absolutely puzzled. Nevertheless, everyone else seemed to be okay with it, which is why he carried on, saying the lines he had rehearsed, and this time being you the one to be completely dumbfounded.

However, even though you didn’t know what was going on, you did not find it in you to lean back and away from his lips, as you felt your heart beat ever so hardly against your chest at the sight of him leaning in to kiss you.

Not like it mattered anyway, for although you might have not found it in you to do something about it, the director didn’t have a problem with it — a loud “cut!” resounding all around the set, managing to stop Taehyung from pressing his lips on yours like both of you had so badly been anticipating.

“Taehyung, what the hell are you doing?” director Han questioned with furrowed eyebrows.

Taehyung’s mouth formed a pout, both because of not understanding what was going on, and because the moment he had been looking forward to the most —that being, your kiss’ scene— had been interrupted before it could even take place. “Isn’t this the moment we kiss?”

You found yourself taking in a shaky breath at his bold question, focusing on the lips of his that remained slightly puckered up in confusion after some people from the staff had gasped as others tried their best not to laugh.

“In the old script, yes. But not in the new one”.

“The new script?” Tae asked, giving you a quick glance and growing even more confused when you confirmed it with a small nod.

“Yes, you didn’t get it?” director Han had seemingly grown irritated by then.

“I… don’t think so?” Taehyung replied.

The director sighed, looking to his assistant next to him. “Okay, find out whose fault this was and tell them we need to talk” he ordered sternly, before he looked around and announced to the rest of the crew: “Everyone else, take five!”

With that said, and everyone else dispersing around the set to mind their own business, the man went up to the two of you.

“God, I can’t believe we’ll have to push back the recording because of this” he pinched at the bridge of his nose.

“It wasn’t his fault” you defended Tae in a heartbeat, causing his eyes to soften as they gazed to you.

“I know” director Han agreed with you, much to your surprise. “Still sucks though”.

That it did.

“So…” Taehyung begun. “What is this thing about a new script?”

“Oh, yeah,” the older man didn’t wait to begin his explanation. “You know how we’re always taking into consideration the viewers’ opinions as we go on with the story?”

“Yes…”

“Turns out, they all are over the moon with Y/N and Hyungsik’s chemistry,” those simple words were enough for Tae to feel uneasy. “So, after giving it a lot of thought and having a few meetings, we decided they will be this story’s endgame”.

Well, that surely had felt like a bucket of ice cold water being thrown straight to his face.

And although there were so many questions he wanted to ask, and so many of them he could’ve asked, he ended up looking at you and asking the one his heart felt more troubled with. “So you’re kissing Hyungsik hyung”.

It had not quite came out like a question, but more of a statement, yet either way, you nodded in affirmation.

Taehyung sighed. “I mean, hyung mentioned something about a kissing scene but… I didn’t know you...”

And although you didn’t have to explain yourself to him, at the sight of his disappointed expression, you felt the need to do so anyway. “It will only be a couple of times though. And it’s only for the drama, I wouldn’t—”

“Okay, look,” director Han cut your words off mid-sentence. “I don’t know what’s going on with you two when it comes to your personal lives, so I’ll leave you guys to talk it out. But um… we’re done for the day, I guess” he sighed, later fixing his eyes on Taehyung so he could inform him: “I’ll send you the new script. You guys may leave now”.

Nodding your heads, you watched the man head out of the set, leaving the two of you alone to ‘talk it out’.

The thing is, there was nothing to talk out. Or, more precisely, you didn’t know how to talk out what you so desperately wanted to do. Because you had feelings for him and he had feelings for you, but neither of you knew about one another’s. At least not for sure.

Truth be told, the two of you felt an instant attraction to each other the moment you met, but you thought nothing of it. You were both professionals. You would be a couple on the drama and that would be it, for you both knew getting involved with a co-star could only complicate things when it came to work.

However, that mindset of yours did not quite go to plan as the filming went on and you got to spend quite a lot of time together. Yes, your characters were written to fall in love, and so you had to act like it when the cameras were rolling, but the chemistry you and Taehyung had outside the set was, for sure, so, so much stronger than the one your contracts forced you to act out.

And so, soon enough, the two of you would be attached to the hip, spending not only every second off camera on set together, but also texting nonstop every other day you didn’t get to see each other.

It had just been so natural for the two of you to get along so well together, that neither of you questioned it. Neither of you had questioned why you felt like keep talking to each other every single moment you were apart, or why you craved one another’s attention whenever you spent time with other people of the crew… or why your hearts sped up so damn much every single time you were close.

You didn’t question any of that, you just went with it. To the point you came to terms with your feelings without having to go through any kind of epiphany. They were just there, and you would keep them to yourselves.

That’s why this particular kissing scene was so important to the both of you, for it would give you an excuse to do what you were dying to without actually having to risk anything. And that’s why you had been so disappointed when you got the new script three days before, and why Taehyung was now having such a hard time accepting the new fate of the plot.

“I, uh…” his eyes fixed on yours after a few seconds. “I’ll go change now…”

“Oh, okay…” you nodded. “I’ll go do the same”.

The sweet smile you gave him right then had somehow managed to ease the tension he had been feeling those last couple of minutes.

“You want me to drive you home?” he wondered like he did every day your shootings ended at the same time.

You could always just call your personal driver, he knew that, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t still try to spend as much time with you as he could. And the fact that you accepted his offer every single time could only encourage him to keep on doing so.

“You wouldn’t mind?” you asked with another smile, causing one of his own to take over his factions.

“You know I don’t”.

“Okay” you accepted, like it was oh-so-usual by now. “I’ll meet you at the parking lot in ten?”

“Yeah” he agreed, his smile only growing bigger at the way your stares had lingered before you turned around to go change into your personal clothes for once and for all.

That’s how, ten minutes later, just as agreed, you were entering his car, fastening your seat belts before he started driving over the route he knew by heart at this point.

The ride was quiet, yet not uncomfortable — both of you having too many things on your minds to even pay attention to the way the only sound filling the car was coming from the radio.

Both of you debating within yourselves whether or not you should bring up the topic the two of you were about to discuss before director Han interrupted you back on set.

And when Taehyung parked his car outside your place and you thanked him for the ride home, placing your hand over the door handle so you could pull at it and get out, he found himself speaking before he could even stop himself.

“Hey, uh…” his quite unsteady voice caught your attention. “It slipped my mind to say it before, but sorry about today…” he apologized when your eyes met his. “I never meant to make things uncomfortable for you… for us…”

You smiled sweetly at his sincere words. “It’s okay, Taehyung-ie” his heart jumped at the way his name sounded like honey to him whenever you said it. “It wasn’t uncomfortable… I was just, you know… worried you would get scolded because of the script and all that”.

“Yeah…” he recalled the way you had jumped on his defense the moment director Han had approached you. “Thank you about that…”

“It was nothing…” you shrugged. “Sorry I didn’t tell you about it” it was now your turn to apologize. “I know we talk quite a lot and I had the chance to, but I just assumed you had read the new script”.

“It’s okay, don’t worry” he reassured you.

“Do you have time to learn it?” you wondered, knowing both his idol and actor schedules tended to overlap a little too much.

Taehyung nodded softly before he gave you a small, reassuring smile. “I’ll manage”.

“That’s good” you smiled as well. “If you want to rehearse our scenes beforehand or just need help with yours… just hit me up”.

“I probably will, to be honest” he chuckled, earning a light laugh from you; for going over your scenes together from time to time, just for the sake of it, was something the two of you had found out to be rather helpful these last couple of months. “Sucks you will be rehearsing the kissing ones with hyung now…”

Your heart jumped, feeling your face heat up at his boldness.

“I don’t think we’ll be rehearsing them. I mean…” your eyes nervously gazed to the window. “We never did…”

Taehyung took in a deep breath. “Right…”

And although a part of him was screaming at him to just shut his mouth, for he had been bold enough already, he couldn’t help but go on with it; not wanting to let go of the topic just yet.

“Why didn’t we?”

Because we’re idiots. Because it would’ve felt too real. Something along those lines was the answer you wanted to give him.

Instead, you said nothing, just shrugging and looking out the window to your place. “Doesn’t matter anymore…” your eyes travelled back to him, taking in his beautiful factions and anticipating eyes before you explained: “Junho’s the one getting the girl now”.

The way your eyebrows had teasingly moved up and down as you referred to Hyungsik’s character, got Taehyung throwing his head back against the driver’s seat as a loud whine escaped his mouth.

“Aish, you little—”

He wasn’t planning on finishing that sentence, of course, so he stopped himself mid-sentence right as you threw your head back as well — a loud laugh coming out of your mouth.

“Just for the record,” you faced him, catching his attention. “I was really rooting for Sehun”.

A flustered laugh abandoned his lips, shaking his head in disbelief before his chocolate eyes fixed on yours once again. “Yeah… he would’ve been good to Jieun” he lamented his role’s defeat with a small, dramatic nod.

You giggled. “I know. But J—”

“If you say Junho will be better, Y/N, I swear to fucking God—”

Just like he had cut off your words mid-sentence right before, you cut his — only not with actual words, but with a cackle instead. “Biased much?”

“Sehun would’ve been better and you know it!” he accused you.

“Oh, yeah?” you questioned rather tauntingly, unconsciously moving closer with a daring demeanour.

“Yeah” he stated confidently. “And he would’ve kissed her so much better, too”.

Although your heart had skipped a beat at that and your hands were suddenly trembling, you went on with the teasing, not being ready to lose the unspoken competition this conversation had somehow just turned into. “Hm... I wouldn’t know about that though…”

“I can show you if you want”.

Just like that, Taehyung left you speechless.

He had gone for it, and was waiting for an answer now. One you weren’t able to give him with actual words, but with a small, almost unnoticeable, nod of your head instead.

It didn’t go unnoticed by him, though — the way your eyes had focused on his attractive lips being the last straw for him to just finally let go of any rational thought he might’ve had until then.

Tenderly cupping your face, he brought his face just close enough to yours so you could feel your already heavy breathings mix, before he gazed up to your eyes for one last brief second.

“Is this the moment we kiss?” he mocked his previous words that day, earning a giggle from you that sounded like music to his ears.

“Just kiss me already, you dork”.

So he did.

Gently caressing the corners of your mouth with his thumbs, he brought your face up to meet his lips in the middle — softly pressing them together.

And only that took for you to know you would, from then on, not enjoy kissing any other than him.

Letting out quiet, content hum when he deepened the kiss a few moments later, you pressed your hands on his chest, causing him to smile at the way your hands had lightly tugged at the fabric of his sweater as you managed to pull him even closer to you.

Damn the directors for depriving you both of the many kisses you could’ve gotten as the series went on.

“Was that Sehun kissing Jieun or Taehyung kissing Y/N?” you couldn’t help but softly ask once your lips were no longer trapped in his cloudlike ones.

He laughed under his breath, sweetly running his thumbs on your cheeks. “If I said it was just me kissing you, would you be okay with it?”

You nodded in a heartbeat, not being able to hold back a small giggle that had his heart skipping a beat in a second.

“Oh, good” he finally breathed out the air he didn’t know he had been holding, letting his forehead rest on yours. “Because I’ve wanted to do that for a while now”.

“So have I” you laughed lightly under your breath, lovingly removing a strand of hair that was covering one of his pretty eyes. “Maybe our characters won’t get to be together but… that doesn’t have to apply to us, does it?”

“Absolutely not” he smiled, planting a small peck on your lips. “Even if people think you have better chemistry with hyung, whatever that means”.

You couldn’t help but laugh at the bitter remark he had let out, followed by a huff. Director Han’s words had really stung deep. Maybe if it had just been that the viewers liked Junho and Jieun together, it wouldn’t have been that bad. But he said Hyungsik and you. As your own persons outside of the fictional drama world. And that was a whole different situation he could not help but dislike.

Kissing his cheek ever so sweetly, you pulled back to fix your eyes on his. “Good thing I don’t care what they think” those words alone made that cute boxy smile of his show on his face. “Are you okay with me having to kiss him though?”

“Can’t promise I won’t get a little jealous, but… it’s your job, of course I’m okay with it” he smiled reassuringly. “I’ll have you know, though,” his eyes squinted daringly. “For every time you kiss him, you’ll have to kiss me a hundred times to make it up to me”.

You snorted. “Don’t you think that’s a little too overpriced?” your teasing words had him raising his eyebrows. “How about five kisses for each time I kiss him?”

“Did I stutter?” he lowered his tone to seem more serious, causing you to bite your bottom lip as you shook your head in amusement.

“Oh, well…” you sighed over dramatically. “You’ll be too distracted kissing me to even keep count of them anyway”.

“Don’t test me, baby”.

“Okay, okay. I won’t” you laughed, catching him by surprise when the next second your hands tugged once again at his sweater to pull him closer. “May I pay some of those in advance though? Since there will be way too many of them to pay for in a few days”.

Taehyung chuckled, gently pushing your chin up with his thumb as his face came closer to yours, until his pink lips were faintly brushing yours. “That you may do”.

#bts #bts imagines #taehyung imagines #kim taehyung #bts fluff #taehyung fluff #kpop #kpop fanfic #bts fanfic #taehyung fanfic #bts scenarios #taehyung scenarios #bts reactions #taehyung reactions #bts x reader #kim taehyung x reader #bts taehyung #bts v #taehyung

[incarnateirony]

Holy shit YES this is my time to shine! Thank you Kellogg's!!!

So, I actually did a break down of this back in March (so the numbers are a little off, but definitely still relevant) because I love statistics like that. Basically, I took all the Supernatural fanfics of Ao3, WP and FFN and compared the ones tagged with Castiel/Dean Winchester and compared them to the ones tagged Sam Winchester/Dean Winchester. I also looked up the most popular SPN fics to see where each ship fell on the list. For the sake of brevity ( and relevance) I'll keep it to my Ao3 stats.

On March 25th, there were 244,995 fics in the Supernatural fandom category on Ao3. Of those 244,995 fics, 96,680 were Castiel/Dean Winchester, making up 39.5% of the fic total.

Fics labeled as Sam Winchester/Dean Winchester came in at 29,853 making up 12.2% of the fic total.

As for the "Quality over Quantity" argument, I then searched Supernatural fics sorted by kudos.

Obviously, the most popular SPN fic is T&S with 35,442 kudos at the time, followed by, wouldn't you know it, 11 more destiel fics ( I'd say 12 but the 13th fic wasn't labeld and I wanted to keep it as accurate as possible). In fact it was all Destiel fics until the 23rd most kudos'd fic. The first fic that had Sam shipped with another male character appeared as #26 on the list, and it was Gabriel. Not dean. The first actual Sam/Dean fic that appeared on the list came in at #76 most popular fic with 5,482 kudos, coming in 46 kudos short of the Destiel fic at #75, with 67 fics (some were vaguely tagged so I didn'tinclude them)) labeled as Castiel/Dean and 29,960 kudos short of the most popular fic in SPN.

The numbers for the other two sites are less extreme,though similar, but the point still stands. You can't claim "quality over quantity" when statistics show that you have neither. Now, they could easily claim that there are just more fic writers for the Destiel fandom, but that would negate their "silent majority" claims. Either the Destiel faction is just a small portion of the fandom or we outnumber them. They can't have it both ways.

They could argue that most w*ncest shippers just dont write fanfic, that begs the question as to why and that is a question they don't want to answer, for obvious reasons. They could even claim that it doesn't matter because their ship has been around longer, but considering they had three years before Castiel was even a character, one would think they would have more fics, because, you know, they had three f*kin years on us! But, nope sorry, still not the case.

In conclusion, unless w*ncesties wrote an IMPOSSIBLY INSANE amount of fics in the last 5 months (126,105 according to her general search) Destiel is still #1.

Basically, suck it!

Yeah I used to go over these stats too and it only got worse for wincels over time, eventually Destiel fandom ended up with like a 5-6x creation rate if you break it down by year and watch the needle shift.

[sunnysviolin]

Lmao what if you did a mafia omori gang au

Idk it just... appeared in my head

Okay at first I was like this is so funny, but also now....I want it. I want it bad. Maybe it’s just because I’m in a mood...but also yeah okay so

Mari is the Don and Hero is her “mobwife”. She always tests people who are coming in for the first time to ask for something. If they immediately go to suck up to Hero because they think he’s the Don, then she usually doesn’t give them what they want. If when they disregard him when they find out he’s only her husband, then she definitely doesn’t give them what they are asking for (and sometimes they end up dead) She is outwardly very intimidating, and the only people who aren’t absolutely terrified of her are her immediate family. She’s usually found sitting at her piano with her husband and whoever of her family is home listening to her play as she runs her business. Mari runs her business in a semi-democratic way, but ultimately her word is law. 

The bakery is their front. Daphne and Bowen are also high up in the organization, and they refuse to let Mikhael join in no matter how much he pouts about it. They see Mari’s organization as a necessary evil, and they tolerate it, but they won’t directly participate unless its a dire situation. Rather the twins are a set of semi-consigliere type characters. They advise Mari and help her to keep her temper and her clear head. If they disagree with a decision she makes Mari feels wrong, because the two of them and Hero are the people who have the best understanding of grey morals that she knows. The four of them will spend hours and hours debating morals and ethics together, and they’re incredibly close

Hero doubles as the consigliere alongside being her “mobwife” to the public. To the outer world he is just her sweet, almost vapid, husband who loves to cook and works at the bakery and takes care of the younger generation (Basil, Sunny, Aubrey, and Kel) in the organization. In reality he is the one that does the direct deals with the above world. Politicians, Business men, general people in power, they all fall to his whims. His charm and his gentle nature are some of Mari’s greatest weapons. When her force isn’t enough to get movement, his gentleness can grease the wheels. They’ve been in love their entire lives, and he has always known his role is as her other half. Where she is cool collected and nearly stony, he is emotional and loving. Both of them are smart as a whip and completely dedicated to one another. The only time Hero can be moved to violence is a direct threat against Mari. When that happens...there’s no where you could hide. 

Sunny and Kel are her Capos. Neither of them is the direct underboss because she hasn’t fully decided which one of them will succeed her. They want to be dual rulers, but Mari thinks that’s a bad idea and could create factions. It’s one of the only things she and Hero disagree on, but Mari won’t let her personal affections for Kel cloud her judgement. The only reason Sunny isn’t fully her heir is he won’t accept it without Kel. Sunny tends to handle Mari’s side of things in the underworld while Kel handles the above ground things with Hero. Mari and Hero are subtly grooming Kel and Sunny to take their specific roles, but Sunny and Kel want to split the responsibilities even and rule as dual Dons. Kel has a bit of an inferiority complex because of this, but regardless he is loyal to Sunny. If Sunny becomes the Don, then Kel will accept his place as consigliere and protector with grace. He’s already accepted this as the inevitable conclusion. 

Aubrey is an assassin that Mari has in her pocket. Aubrey started as a freelancer, but Mari and Hero coaxed her in by making her family. She carries their name, and she Kel and Sunny are siblings in all but blood. Even then they took an oath blood when Sunny and Kel officially became Capos. She is deathly dedicated to Mari and would do anything she asked without hesitation. She has skills in almost every type of weaponry, but when she is allowed to make a mess she prefers to use her nailed bat. Her wife Kim is a hacker that she brought into the organization, and with Kim came the hooligans who are good soldiers if not particularly skilled. Kim is a valuable addition as well though. 

Basil is an actual mob wife. He is not involved directly in anything the organization does, and he’s fine with keeping it that way. He met Sunny when Sunny was on a job helping to kill his father when he was 16. Mari had ordered that the entire family was taken care of, but Sunny had decided to bring back Basil and his grandmother. Quickly from there they fell into a relationship, and Basil tolerates Sunny’s work and loves the rest of the group like family, but he isn’t involved and he doesn’t want to be. The only time he ever touched a gun was when someone tried to kill Sunny and uh...yeah he doesn’t like talking about it. He’s closest with Aubrey who also lingers on that line of outsider. 

The hooligans are foot soldiers...I love this AU so much people I’ve sold my soul Mob Boss Mari is too powerful. Don Mari.....secretly smart and consigliere mob wife Hero.....dual Capos Sunny and Kel....actual mob wife Basil.....Assassin Aubrey. I wanna talk about this so much more omg omg omg. I literally wrote almost 1000 words in fifteen minutes what the heck

#asks #anon #Mob AU #I fucking #Love this au #so much #omori #omori headcanons #omori au #omori mari #omori hero #heromari #omori bread twins #omori sunny #omori kel #omori aubrey #omori basil #sunnflower #omori hooligans #I wanna write so much for this #what the heck #omori daphne #omori bowen #unbread twins

[cherrycoveredpythia]

Extended thoughts on Brave the Tempest

2017’s Ride the Storm closed out the four-book arc that also included Hunt the Moon, Tempt the Stars, and Reap the Wind.  In these books, Cassie battled Ares and his minions while drawing closer to Pritkin and eventually hunting him through time and space. She learns more about her abilities while trying to save his life, and also becomes a reluctant power player in supernatural (and inter-dimensional) politics. Without her faithful companion by her side, she becomes more confident in her own powers and resourcefulness. Of course, she’s still Cassie, so all her discoveries and victories are slapdash and hard-won. But they are still victories. She’s a daughter of Chaos, give her a break.

Brave the Tempest focuses on Cassie’s political duties and her complicated feelings about being a leader and a “hero”. She’s now slain two gods (with help), but that doesn’t result in easy respect from the witches or the vampires. The witches see her as a tool of the Silver Circle, while the vampires see her as an extension of Mircea. They are all so wrong.

Cassie has to demonstrate her full strength to convince these factions to cooperate with her. It works, but nothing is ever simple. In the long run, who will love her and who will fear her? 

She’s becoming more like her mother every day.

Overall feelings

There are some amazing, joyful moments here. Please understand that I adore these books and characters, so I say this with love…

… but the book felt disjointed to me. We buzz back and forth from the witches to the vampires to the demons, and then go to Faerie and Victorian England. We get emotional scenes with Mircea, Pritkin, Marco, Rhea, and Rico. Augustine brings home a kidnapped fae. Tami needs to hire some staff but no one will take the job. Fred is a spy. Cassie is exhausted. I felt kind of exhausted too.

Important plotlines: Cassie’s growing pains with her powers, the political trouble with the witches and vampires, and the imminent invasion of Faerie. And then there was the timeline rupture. The rupture was terrifying and the fight with Jo in Victorian London was a full-on horror show. Cassie learned more about Pythian spells and then linked up her powers with Pritkin through the Lover’s Knot spell.  She’ll probably need these tools for the coming showdown. She and Pritkin are even more powerful together than they are apart. And they are both forces for good. But will everyone see them that way?

I think Karen is just laying out all the pieces for the next arc. It’s a little messy right now, but it will all fit together soon. I’m glad that Shatter the Earth is coming in December. If I had to wait another two years for the next book, I would be upset.

Favorite moments

Pritkin flirting and Cassie retaliating during S’mores night. Especially the marshmallow at the end. Goddamn.

The Dickening.

Everything related to Saffy and Vi, and seeing Saffy and Rhea becoming friends. I think she is a great influence on Rhea.

Pritkin and Cassie’s meeting with Adra. I high-key love Adra. He’s a really interesting foil for Caedmon, who leads their alliance with the “heavenly” planes. Caedmon is manic and charming, while Adra is pleasant and even-keeled. Except when he forgets to animate his glamourie. I reallllllly want to know what Adra looks like under there, but I figure he’s a Lovecraftian monster that would drive us insane.  

Adra shading Pritkin for never attending demon council meetings like other “heirs apparent.” 

Cassie nonchalantly offering to bring Adra to the vampire council.

Gertie nonchalantly easing Pritkin out of the room and shifting him to the depot.

Cassie borrowing Pritkin’s powers to suck the energy out of Jo.

Big events and revelations

Pritkin is not shy and neither is Cassie. I thought we would get some pussy-footing about their relationship, but we DID NOT. Pritkin came on strong and Cassie reciprocated. I wish I had a chance to read Siren’s Song first. They had some time to let the tension build and I *do* love a slow burn… torture me, baby!

Ancient Horrors! Children of Tiamat/Tethys! Pritkin is 1/16th divine! Kind of a watered-down Ancient Horror, if you will. Minus the tentacles.

Lover’s Knot

Fucking Jonathan

Invasion of Faerie needs to happen ASAP

Jo is more dangerous as a ghost because ghosts can absorb infinite power. (Can we turn Billy Joe into a super soldier???)

MIRCEA THE BOLD!

Cassie agreed to go find Elena because she’s afraid that Mircea will do it himself. And she doesn’t want to kill him.

Fred is a spy working for MARLOWE! And I guess his master power is camouflaging his aura.

Rico is from Napoli (this explains a lot, because I was confused when he said putanas instead of putane. Dialect!)

NEW PYTHIAN SPELLS: Shards and Chimera!

Young Agnes is a real bitch.  

The pros

I said this in a separate post, but I’ll say it here too. Cassie and Pritkin are back together and their relationship is so healthy and mutually supportive that it makes my heart ache. This is real #relationshipgoals. They are confidants and protectors and cheerleaders for each other. They don’t keep secrets or manipulate or gaslight. We need more of this sci-fi/fantasy and romance. There are too many dark, brooding male love interests who are borderline abusive. (Ahem, Mircea.)

MORE LGBT REPRESENTATION! 

The emergence of Mircea the Bold. I like Mircea as a character, but not as a love interest for Cassie. I’m happy to see him going through this transformation. He’s becoming more open and genuine. He’s not going to win Cassie’s affections, but I do think that he’s going to redeem himself in Dory’s eyes.

GERTIE IS BACK! And *not* as a roadblock. She’s a powerful woman who helps other women, and I am all. about. that. mood.

The cons

 TOO. MUCH. RECAP. Especially recap that broke up highly emotional moments. I don’t care if you are trying to explain things for new readers. Fuck ‘em. Anyone who buys a book, discovers it is part 1000 of an ongoing series, and tries to read it anyways… is a psychopath.

Too many plot-lines

 I miss Rosier.

We all knew that something was up with Fred, but I don’t think that his revelation as a spy got as much weight and screen-time as it deserved.

 I feel like the “wrap-up” with Jonathan felt rushed. He’s supposed to be terrifying but I’m like “meh, whatever, Jonathan, small fry compared to Apollo and Ares.” But I think she’ll get back to it in greater depth in the next book, so I can deal.

Can we PLEASE have some consistency about Agnes’s age? We see her as a teenager in late 19th-century London, for god’s sake. She must have been *at least* 130 years old when she died, and that’s being charitable. Previously, Cassie has said that Agnes was about 80. Lies. 

The questions

1.       My BIGGEST question. Cassie is changing. Not just maturing, but changing on a metaphysical level. The coldness, the hunger… I’m frightened for her. It’s not withdrawal from the Tears of Apollo and it’s not normal exhaustion. I have some theories.  

 Her divine side is becoming stronger and she’s beginning to require life energy in the same way that her human side needs food, water, and sleep. Why is this happening now? Maybe the Tears of Apollo are part of the equation, albeit indirectly. She’s been using more and more Pythian power thanks to the potion, and perhaps that has awakened her divine side more strongly. This is a little worrisome because she may have to feed on a regular basis to stay functional. Can she get all the energy she needs from incubus sex or from the Lover’s Knot? What are the moral considerations here? 

Less likely, but she might really be pregnant. I’m not a huge fan of this idea, but Rosier does mention in Reap the Wind or Ride the Storm that the incubus-child feeds on the life energy of the mother as it grows. That’s why his attempts at procreation failed until he impregnated Morgaine, who was part royal fae and part divine. If this is the case, Cassie might be having life-energy cravings instead of food cravings. Or maybe this is the divine/demon/fey version of morning sickness? Pritkin, please start using birth control.

2. What happened with Pritkin in Siren’s Song? Does Jonas know his true identity now?

3. So who is Pritkin’s divine great-great grandmother? Any speculation?

4. Cassie begins to wonder if any of the gods might be open to diplomacy. This must go somewhere. And it’s true, there are a number of gods in the pantheon who are traditionally friendlier towards humans than others. Athena is the first that comes to mind. There’s also the mythic trope of the Trickster/Fire-Bringer who helps humanity: Prometheus, Anansi, etc.  And there’s Loki, who doesn’t so much love humans as he loves to trouble the other gods.

MVPs

Ok, Cassie is the real MVP, as always. But barring her, I’m awarding this prize to the no-nonsense, sisterly duo of our hearts: Gertie and Hilde. They are officious and annoying, but that’s because they tell you what you don’t want to hear, and they are RIGHT. They are so right.

#btt spoilers #brave the tempest #my disorganized thoughts #please feel free to disagree and discuss #cassie palmer #karen chance

[langwrites]

Lang Plays Fire Emblem: Three Houses

So a while ago I said I was planning on playing the story routes in this order: Blue Lions, Black Eagles, Church of Seiros, and then Golden Deer.

The Golden Deer made a liar out of me.

So, here’s an approximation of What Happened During Verdant Wind.

So many spoilers below the cut, you guys. I do a lot of route comparisons.

Okay, I’ve been staring at the “which house do you want” selection screen for an embarrassing amount of time.

This shouldn’t be hard. I had a plan.

But no.

I clicked the Golden Deer, just like that. What the fuck, Claude. I blame you.

Immediately upon talking to this rop of students again, I can feel the difference in the social group from what the Lions were like. The latter were really a bunch of noble kids around their prince, and they felt really tight-knit. Classic Fire Emblem starter crew.

The Golden Deer is the fucking Scooby Gang.

First impressions of individuals:

Raphael, thank goodness, is the one character who absolutely has his shit in order. Sure, he’s bad at book work and thinks everything comes down to MUSCLES, but all of his emotional issues are handled by the time he arrives at Garreg Mach. He’s the brightest of sunshines.

Ignatz needs some more confidence in his art, and also I want to see his painting of Seiros. Now, if only both of his offensive stats and growths weren’t incredibly bad.

I was so close to making him my dancer. Just because he sure as hell wasn’t gonna be useful anywhere else.

Lorenz! I don’t like him. His haircut is a monstrosity.

Leonie! We are going. To be. Besties. Even though the timing of your support conversations are incredibly bad.

Marianne no please don’t be sad everyone loves you

Hilda is the greatest enabler I have ever seen. By which I mean she enables other people to do all her work for her.

Lysithea is going to have the last word with God. And especially he Death Knight.

And finally Claude! Teamwork makes the dream work, so obviously meme work does the same.

I’m sorry.

PRE-TIMESKIP

Mock battle! Marianne’s great and I love her and also the only healer oh god.

OKAY. I have access to New Game+ bonuses. What do I do first?

Immediately crank the Professor Level stat to max to avoid ever having to run short of activity points again.

Next, raise all skills I can’t easily get to at least Rank D+. HEAVY ARMOR IN PARTICULAR.

Third: Boost supports with people whose support ranks are an absolute pain in the ass to earn. Lookin’ at you, Rhea.

Also, put glasses on Byleth (named “Yuri” for this playthrough). Glasses are the bomb. I am the evil genius.

LEVEL GRINDING TIME.

It’s a lot harder with Blacksmith access being story-locked, but I can do this!

As a direct result, every single battle after this point is a complete curbstomp in my favor. Because the grind don’t stop.

I broke a lot more weapons than last time, though.

I will befriend Leonie and Ferdinand if it’s the last fucking thing I do. I will befriend everyone, and I will not get timeskip-locked out of supports! >:(

Ferdinand was my first recruit. Oh dear.

Okay, there are like five born cavaliers in this game. Leonie, Ferdinand, Lorenz, Sylvain, and I guess Dimitri if you’re on the right route.

Last time, Sylvain was a great paladin and a decent Dark Knight before he started getting one- or two-stat level ups for like thirty levels. Similarly, Dimitri was great until all his ultra-secret-awesome promotions didn’t use a fucking horse.

Contrast Leonie who, despite sitting out 99% of the game out of spite from me getting locked out of her support chain, went to endgame with a ten-level deficit and still rocked.

Ferdinand didn’t count since I failed to recruit him last time and he died. These two facts are directly related.

I didn’t use Lorenz at all; I recruited him to keep from having to kill him later.

This time, Lorenz straight-up sucks, Sylvain did the terrible level dance for like the entire game, and Dimitri’s not recruitable.

Contrast, again, Leonie. Her support chain with the player character is hot garbage, but she plowed through most of the game as a mainstay of my team and made it to Bow Knight first out of anyone.

Bernadetta and Ashe as Bow Knights don’t even come close to being as durable as she is, except for Ashe’s absolutely bananas Resistance. 29?! WHY?!

And Ferdinand is also awesome. His only real weak point is Resistance, but he doesn’t need it. He dodge-tanks everything, is faster than Leonie, and has two Saints’ relics he unknowingly stole from Seteth.

He still talks in MLA format, though.

I started putting off recruiting people so I wouldn’t have to level-grind them up to par with the rest of my team.

But if these people wanna join, of course I’m saying yes.

Lord Lonato’s rebellion and Miklan yoinking the Lance of Ruin feel way less relevant on a Golden Deer playthrough than on a Blue Lions one. None of the Herd really know who the hell these people are.

I say that despite having already recruited Sylvain for this playthrough and deploying him in the relevant level. He wasn’t treated as there by the game’s preamble cutscenes.

At least the Holy Mausoleum stuff feels more...handled? Claude actually asks questions about rebellion and about the “assassination plot,” where Dimitri didn’t really.

OKAY SO there’s this whole plot thing where Flayn goes missing for a month. With the Blue Lions, this is handled like a manhunt. Dimitri’s seriousness about the issue rubs off on everyone except Sylvain, and Felix actually correctly identifies the culprit almost instantly. He doesn’t know he’s done it, though, because basically everyone is just throwing out accusations. Manuela is the real MVP.

CONTRAST THE DEER. The very first meeting reads like a Scooby Doo episode, when they’re piling up clues and throwing out suggestions like the gang of goofball teenagers they are. Claude’s got this group running like Persona 4′s Investigation Team. None of them are jaded or frantic, they’re just doing this.

Why did Rhea entrust the investigation to a herd of teenagers.

Anyway, the rest proceeds as usual.

I don’t know why the game tries to drop the same set of hints for each route. “OoooowoooooOOOOoooo, your house leader might be the FLAME EMPEROR.”

The Flame Emperor wears heels. And is still too short to be either Claude or Dimitri. Especially Dimitri. Who the fuck let this kid get so tall.

The only real result of all this bullshit is that my wyvern-riding sniper of doom is not available during the first map where Yuri personally beat the Death Knight into the ground.

Which, by the by, was hilariously cathartic.

It doesn’t exactly matter, since the only unit who can make real use of the Dark Mage and Dark Bishop classes is unrecruitable, but bragging rights.

Remire Village’s drama is about as bad while playing as the Golden Deer. One of the foreshadowing cutscenes, though is excellent:

Claude actually finds a book that depicts The Immaculate One before its debut, only to have it confiscated by Seteth and learn that it wasn’t a library book at all; it belonged to “Tomas.” Like, all of his suspicions--which he shares with the player--start lining up. Censorship! Monsters! Sword of the Creator! What the hell is going on here??

Dimitri’s version of the cutscene involves him being caught investigating Lord Arundel by the player and Sothis. Which--since his route doesn’t meaningfully deal with the Morlocks faction aside from steamrolling them as incidental opponents--seems kinda useless.

Kicked the Death Knight into submission again out of spite.

Sylvain was useful! Mostly because I had him sit there and distract the incidentals while Claude and Lysithea cleaned house, but still!

Claude is the only lord character who seems to understand that the transforming Morlock faction probably needs to be taken more seriously. For the remainder of Part One, no one does so.

Rhea you’ve got some ‘splainin to do.

Marianne’s my team’s dancer this time. She’s a sweetheart. She seemed happy to be asked and to pursue the lessons, and being able to use Physic is a good trait in someone who’s nearly always going to be waaaaay behind the rest of the group.

Dad-stabbing happened.

Again.

Boop boop Solon’s dead.

Again.

Dear diary: I learned the definition of irony and set the Flame Emperor on fire.

I kid.

But Claude took her out in one completely overpowered shot, because crits are a thing, Flame Emperor class skills don’t reduce damage enough to survive it, and his Dex stat is through the fucking roof. And he was on a wyvern at the time because fuck it, why not.

Claude’s reaction to all of this is a minor letdown compared to the fully-rendered cutscene in the last route.

This would become something of a trend--taking out OP bosses with unexpected critical hits.

I didn’t expect to like Lorenz and now I do. How.

This is hilarious simply because he seems to be the only character that Mercedes hates. What the fuck, man.

Once again, Edelgard invades! Once again, I drop someone unexpected on her head!

Not really. It was Yuri.

Yuri does the timeskip shuffle and we’ll see everyone again after a nap.

FIVE YEARS LATER.

Aw, Claude was waiting for Yuri to show up. Adorable.

The post-meetup fight is actually harder than it was in the BL route, despite excessive level-grinding. This is due to three factors:

Claude is automatically on a wyvern, meaning that he has inherent class vulnerability to archers on a map with at least five of them. And less range than they did, for some fucking reason.

Lorenz and Ignatz started out on the same corner of the map and both of them are shitty offensive units who could barely kill a mage between them. (Neither of Ignatz’s offensive stats cracked 20 for another thirteen levels.)

I don’t have Ashe and his personal skill Locktouch, and nobody started with a Chest Key or Door Key, which meant I had to keep various enemies alive long enough to steal all of their stuff. And the enemy item drops came up one short of the number of chests on the map. I want my stuff, dammit.

LET’S MAKE A SCENE.

Randolph, as a boss in Verdant Wind, did not get any better at figuring out when he’s outmatched. Therefore, I killed him with Raphael again.

At least he straight-up died this time.

Claude didn’t even get to set the damn place on fire.

Ingrid is turning out to be way better of a unit this time than she was last time. She’s a little slower, but a lot stronger.

FELIX, WHERE THE FUCK WAS ALL THIS STRENGTH HIDING LAST TIME. YOU’RE TEN POINTS AHEAD OF THE GUY WHO HAS STORY-BASED SUPER STRENGTH.

AND SPEED.

Iiiiiiiiit’s JUDITH!

She only shows up on one map in the entire Azure Moon route, and that’s a damn shame. She’s so cool in Verdant Wind.

A lord-class character who isn’t also a Lord! WOO!

Also her spies are better than anybody’s apparently.

I am choosing to believe that because Ingrid’s family is related to Judith’s, her badassery in this route is the direct result of meeting her distant cousin and absorbing badass radiation.

There’s something funny about having to pull one over on Lorenz’s dad to get anything done. The Great Bridge falls not to power, but Claude baiting Count Gloucester’s entire army to be somewhere else. (FEAR THE DEER.)

As a result, Ladislava dies alone. (As opposed to taking Ferdinand with her due to plot shenanigans.)

Lysithea and Ferdinand’s paralogue was really quite sad, for all that the only named guy who died was deeply unsympathetic. Ferdinand’s dad was an asshole, but he wasn’t the asshole for this particular scenario, and now both of his parents are gone. :(

Felix...hasn’t heard from his dad in a while. Worrying.

Oh, and Caspar’s uncle is still dead, in case we were keeping track of that.

Dorothea’s happier with Ferdinand alive. She did an impression of the Gatekeeper. :3

Gronder Field! FUCK.

I delayed playing this chapter for two solid days because I already knew what was gonna happen. Specifically: Edelgard gets injured and evacuated, and Dimitri drops of exhaustion just in time to get run through like ten times by the Emperor’s rearguard.

I eventually got my shit together enough to do the thing.

Marianne, Raphael, and Ferdinand went after the Kingdom army first. Leonie and Felix hung back and then reinforced them after taking out the archer on the central hill.

Claude killed everyone in the center of the map, which meant Edelgard set the entire hill on fire and if Bernadetta had not been recruited she would’ve burned to death there on the spot.

Ahem.

I sent Yuri to clear the entire left side of the map by herself.

She succeeded.

Raphael KO’d Dimitri with a luck Gauntlet crit, got blasted down to half health by a Warlock, then plunked ineffectually at Dedue until Marianne used her Levin Sword to sort him out.

Ferdinand killed everyone else on that side of the map.

Claude once again got the kill on Edelgard with a lucky crit, after Yuri had killed everyone else (up to and including the Demonic Beasts) single-handedly.

And then the plot moved on. Hilda’s account of Dimitri’s death was awful, Dedue’s reaction was worse, and off we go to punch Edelgard’s teeth in.

Again.

Annette’s dad is probably dead now.

Felix’s, too.

(I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH THE DAD-STABBING.)

FOOOOOORT MERCEUS.

No matter how many times I think about it, Claude’s Almyran army reinforcements only make so much sense. How the hell and fuck did he manage to sneak an entire foreign army across a whole country to help with one battle?

But hey, they’re here, and Claude almost admitted the reason why he could do that. And the arrow greeting between him and Nader was cool.

(Spoiler: On top of being the Alliance’s leader, he’s also the crown prince of Almyra!)

The Death Knight had the gall to run from my army.

Yuri punched his ticket for the third time, which was not the charm.

And then Fort Merceus took an intercontinental ballistic missile and suddenly defeating the fort’s garrison feels a lot less triumphant.

Spot the miscolored eyes in this cutscene!

Welp. Fuck it, we’re off to Enbarr. Time to also punch Hubert this time! What a change of pace.

Eyyy, it’s the Enbarr map. I totally forgot to bring Seteth and Flayn along to check out the opera house, despite a whole bunch of characters talking about how they totally wanted to check that place out at some point. No room for deadweights in a map that has SO MANY ARCHERS.

Managed to get the special dialogue between Ferdinand and Hubert, and now I’m sad again.

Killed Hubert with Claude.

And because this is a two-part map, we immediately run off to chase down Edelgard. Due to the player army not doing a really weird 180 in the middle of the plot to kick Cornelia out of Fhirdiad, she didn’t have time to turn into a giant demonic thing! She just has WAY TOO MANY MAGES.

Strategy: Forget what Door Keys are, split the team by Avoid rating, and go to town.

Claude nearly died thanks to a critical mass of Gremories and Mortal Savants (and still, what the fuck is that name), but Dedue-as-guest-character didn’t, so I count that as a win! His defense was so high that the Giant Demonic Beast couldn’t even scratch him.

Claude, Petra, and Ingrid all having Alert Stance as a skill means dodge-tanking is hilariously easy.

Also, Ingrid was supposed to just take a chunk out of Edelgard’s HP bar for the final assault and ended up crit-killing her on the first attack. With a bog-standard silver lance.

Weird as the situation turned out, I guess that means one of Dimitri’s friends really did avenge him after saying they would. Even if Dedue was the only one who had a special cutscene about it.

We rescued Rhea! And the characters being happy about it doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. I want answers, same as Claude, and being forced to RP Yuri being oh so worried about Rhea’s safety felt incredibly disingenuous.

Claude actually yells at her over the “...” she seems to think is an explanation. THE TIME FOR SECRETS IS PAST.

WHY DID ALL THIS SHIT HAPPEN.

WE’VE BEEN AT WAR FOR FIVE YEARS.

A WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE DIED HORRIBLY FOR BASICALLY NOTHING.

Incidentally, this is why I didn’t end up playing Edelgard’s route as planned. Her logic for kicking two other sovereign countries in the balls felt incredibly self-centered.

At least Catherine’s happy. Same with Alois and the rest of the Church crew.

They are soon going to be not as happy.

I’m filling out the ENTIRE support log before endgame. I have absolutely no idea what characters are going to end up together as a direct result.

The last conversation? Seteth and Manuela’s A+ support!

Because so many of the support conversations are romantic at A/A+ level, I guess we’ve managed to turn this ragtag army into a polyarmory.

Oh boy, Thales sure is a sore loser.

I say, as though I didn’t kill EVERYONE he knew over the course of an hour and also split his skull open under Seteth’s axe. His racism would have keeled his ass over before death set in.

That sure is a ICBM.

GOD DAMMIT RHEA, THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A Q&A SESSION AFTER THIS.

WHY DOES EVERYONE WHOSE JOB IS EXPOSITION UP AND DIE.

Meanwhile: THE UBER-DEAD PEOPLE.

Claude, your route is batshit. What is this genre anymore?!

I wanna point out that, despite seeing Rhea/Seiros do the dragon thing, the player character never told Claude what the fuck that was about. I feel like one of the first things I would have done after the class reunion would be going, “By the by, did anyone else notice the fucking dragon?!”  WHO IS ALSO THE POPE???

Bah.

ANYWAY. Looooong-overdue exposition time!

I notice that Rhea didn’t out Seteth or Flayn, which was nice of her.

Claude, she can turn into a fucking dragon. I don’t think immortality is that far from being plausible.

GOD DAMMIT NEMESIS, CAN YOU FUCK OFF FOR TEN MORE MINUTES.

Uuuuuuugh fine, fuck everything, I’m putting your head on a pike.

CLAUDE, THE SWORD OF THE CREATOR LOOKS LIKE A SPINE.

OF COURSE IT’S MADE OF BONES. A BUNCH OF THE HEROES’ RELICS MOVE ON THEIR OWN!

The frantic music is not helping.

Time to kill a bandit king.

“My flabber is completely gasted by now.” Okay, that made me laugh.

Nemesis’s boss mechanic is pretty neat. To kill him at all, you need to kill all of the minibosses in the level and take down his friendship-based-plot-armor.

Or it would be, if I didn’t already make a habit of steamrolling everyone else on the field before tackling the boss at the end.

CUTSCENE.

Cutscene lesson: “Fuck honor duels.” It’s time for CHAIN SWORD LIMBO.

Claude, your bow shoots LASERS. SINCE WHEN.

Also getting kicked across the field by a dude twice his size didn’t seem to actually affect his mood much.

Awww, Yuri smiles now. Adorable. :D

AND THAT’S A WRAP.

Pairings: Yuri/Sothis (mostly to get them out of the way and see what everyone else would do), Claude/Petra, Raphael/Marianne, Catherine/Shamir, Lorenz/Mercedes, Ashe/Annette, Felix/Sylvain (bad end; the former straight up disappears), Seteth & Flayn wander off, Manuela/Dorothea, Lysithea/Linhardt (again), Leonie/Ignatz, Ferdinand/Bernadetta, Caspar/Hilda, and a couple of people are alone. Cyril gets to actually be a student after the story’s done, though!

Whew, that was fun. Gonna mix up the pairs a bit next time I play through the endgame and see what happens.

#fire emblem three houses #Lang plays Fire Emblem: Three Houses #Lang Plays #spoilers #long post #fire emblem

[ingloriousbi]

Long, drawn-out 80-hour experiences aren’t always a good thing. They can be incredibly frustrating.

Side quests become tedious, with no real rewards. They become fetch quests or grind quests or inconsequential rp quests. 100% requires all these little collectibles – like the ac feathers or solas’ orbs or what have you. Travel between locations can be difficult or stunted, and gameplay can become tedious – the fighting takes too long, or the cutscenes take too long, or the dialogue is unending. I usually find myself skipping through long dialogue when I can read the text, I don’t usually read everything on terminals, and I usually only ever 100% things out of compulsion.

For reference: my first dark souls 3 playthrough was 50 hours, but my second was less than 20. Even going by just the second play through I would consider dark souls 3 worth 60 bucks.

Because it isn’t *just* about hours. An 80 hour, long-ass drawn out low quality shit show isn’t better than a high-quality, well polished 20 hour game. But those 20 hours need to be *polished* and they need to serve the game. In a game like dark souls 3, that meant the atmosphere, combat, boss fights and environment needed to be polished and interesting. And they were! The atmosphere was amazing, there was good enemy variety, the boss fights were awesome, the lore was interesting enough to keep me on my toes, and the combat system had good depth to it.

But RPGs need roleplaying elements. Shooters need engaging gameplay. For 60 bucks, the outer worlds should have offered more time with its existing system or greatly enhance it.

The armor and weapons easily capped their max armor/damage, and with the tinkering ability and unending trash a-la fallout, I had a better weapon than any drop or quest item ever gave me. Instead, the constant armor and weapon drops exclusively became a means to money, and this translates into insane inventory management, because of course it does. I can’t speak too much to weapon/attack variety, because once I’ve got a gun I like I usually do a full playthrough with it (although the distinct lack of snipers annoyed me, especially for places like roseway and tartarus), but armor variety was shit. Armor offered little balance, bad mods, shitty stats, and all looked ugly as hell. I never used any medical items except for the standard heal, and never felt the need to (I was playing on regular difficulty). The difficulty curve was really weird; I struggled the first hour or so and soon after I was completely overpowered; but manti-queens were still always a tedious, semi-difficult bore, even when I one-shotted everything else.

The roleplaying elements started off really strong. Back in Edgewater, way at the start, someone even commented on my wearing marauder armor – which just happened to be the first thing I looted from some enemy. There was a lot of humor to balance how genuinely overwhelmed I felt with this new world (in a good way) that slowly gave way to more serious narrative, while never taking away your options for fun. As I found my bearings in the world, the narrative offered good themes and such (obviously; fuck capitalism!) but also had a good balance of “large save the colony!” vs “Im just a dude in space” and you can roleplay for either or in the middle of those two. There was never really a moment I felt it was weird that I was putting the main quest on “hold” to do side quests (with the exception of the fucking tailoring quest line which was really jarring lmao).

Questlines typically offered a healthy balance of options; it really allowed for different outcomes, different character motivations, etc. I didn’t feel shoe-horned into certain dialogue options in order to complete quests the way I wanted to complete them. There was nuance to your choices/dialogue options with characters and in questlines. Persuade, lie, or intimidate weren’t always a different button to the same outcome; oftentimes they actually led to different things happening in the quest. There were also different ways to complete your goals in-game, with different kinds of stealth, to murder or not to murder, talk your way through, guns-blazing, etc. Usually quests gave options I wasn’t really expecting and had a pretty good amount of interactivity between them (think the strike quest on Monarch, or the Sublight quests on Monarch). The only time I felt really shoe-horned was at the end of Lily Hagen’s questline and during the ending quest. Lily Hagen’s last quest is also the only time I felt like I got a significant choice where the consequences didn’t actually matter, which was really frustrating considering the ending of the fucking game.

The way skill points allowed for both in and out of dialogue improvements was really cool (e.g. persuasion isn’t just new dialogue options but affects enemy’s statuses, etc) and the combination of skills required during roleplay elements (i.e. you need persuasion AND science points to convince a scientist of X) felt really strong and did really well for my immersion. In the last mission this all went to shit though.

I liked a lot of the individual characters (I fucking love Phineas and ADA, Zora and Sanjar and even the Van Noys were really fun, a lot of characters were really sympathetic like Reed and Graham) and most of the companions have interesting enough personalities, but there’s a definite problem with the crew members and their implementation.

There was a huge difference in character quality between them; Felix has significantly less character depth to him than any of the other companions, even though his questline felt like it should have had a significantly larger impact on a person. Ellie and Nyoka are super interesting characters, but neither really allow for significant character growth after their respective missions or during companion dialogue.

Parvati and Max have significantly more depth than anyone else on the ship, and these are characters with the most growth and arguably most impactful side quests (measured by impact on the characters). They also have way more, and more in depth, companion dialogue. And still I’d argue the growth is too little. You run out of dialogue with your companions super quickly and they rarely have anything to say about your choices or whatever. Only Ellie really spoke up about some stuff I did/had questions for me about Phineas and even then it didn’t actually matter. Ellie’s lack of character growth was probably the most jarring, because she actively starts conversations that would/should lead to it but she remains unchanged until the epilogue informs you You Did Change Her Mind After All. Felix’s lack of anything was really disappointing especially since I didn’t really care for him, but he was really sympathetic to the captain and to the unification of the crew, especially near the end (his joining the crew was also the most random). I loved Nyoka but her alcoholism is a little much and casually overplayed for no reason, and it actively inhibits what could/should have been character development after her mission. I actually kind of feel like non-companion NPCS like Catherine Malin or Zora had more character development and relationship development with the captain than some of my companions. Parvati got the most personal and had the most growth, but it was *all* in relation to her dating life lmao.

This lack of depth or use for the companions is really bad when you think about the way they are positioned in relation to the factions and again, this is made worse during the last mission. I was kind of happy there were no romances when that was announced, because I thought it would allow for more independent character growth instead of development based on whether or not you’re fucking the player character, but what it really lead to was static characters and static interaction with them. The interactions between them are fun at the start but there aren’t many of them and they quickly end up repeating themselves. I wasn’t expecting fucking Mass effect or Dragon age companions, but I was expecting better than the fallout 4 fare.

The gameplay, skill division and choices/quest options really allow for interesting replayability for both different options/character motivations within an ending but even more so when you consider the fully pro-board playthrough (idk if I could stomach it though). But even with another playthrough I’d be looking at just 40 hours of gameplay (if I 100% it again, and I could probably do it in less than 20 now that I know where/what/how and how useless most loot is) and the companions would remain disappointing.

And the ending just throws it all in my face, especially the skill/stat division is just… terrible. I was level 30 and all side quests were done; I couldn’t milk more levels/exp if I WANTED to, and it was still bad. But I did get to walk back to my ship, re-spec my stats, and then walk all the way back to the end of the mission I’d already played which was super fucking funny.

It was a good game, and most of the game was genuinely good, but the things that let me down were the things that I really wanted, or are really impactful (IT’S A SHOOTER RPG, WHY DOES YOUR COMBAT SUCK). And it was so short. It was a eally well polished, quality experience, and I wouldn’t have liked to see it stretched out to 50 hours because it would have ultimately done it a disservice (and the story WAS genuinely really good and well-done, the world was well-crafted, and I would have hated to see it drone on and one when it’s better than that) , but I WOULD have liked to see an hour or two extra per companion and a price reduction to 40 bucks at launch.

Theme: 10/10 Narrative: 10/10 Atmosphere: 10/10 Environments: 9/10 Shooter-gameplay: 5/10 Character creation: 7/10 (shitty physical creator 3/10, very good stat creator 8/10) RPG Dialogue/Quest Gameplay: 8/10 Companions: 4/10 Inventory management: 1/10

#personal #look im not a reviewer #this isnt meant to be a review for other people abt outer worlds #but i was frustrated with the ending #but also frustrated with myself because i did LOVE this game for the first 19 hours #so i wanted to write it all down for myself #to make sense of my thoughts #and get on paper my frustrations #but also remind myself about all the good shit i enjoyed for the 19 out of the 20 hours I played this game #no overt spoilers

[idristardis]

SLSRS for NCIS: LOS ANGELES - “The Silo” - 9x07

Okay. So, I think that I mentioned - way back in early summer or late spring - that for a variety of reasons, I got way behind on S9 of NCIS: LA. Like, way waaaay behind.

(Partly it was because I moved late last year, partly it was because I left my job and started not one but two new ones, partly it was because what little bits of spoilery stuff I’d heard/seen for “The Silo” led me to believe it would give me the feels and make me probably want to write fic for it and I knew I wouldn’t have time to do that when it originally aired because at that time I was writing two separate oneshots for another fandom that somehow ended up totaling 37K words, etc.).

But I’ve really missed the series and this fandom, and I’m now slowly starting to catch up on S9 - just watched “The Silo” recently. Not sure it actually will inspire fic - or at least not the kind I thought it would - but it did inspire me to do a bit of a meta recap series on the remainder of S9.

If anyone who follows me is still here at least in part for NCIS:LA I hope you enjoy what I’m dubbing the SLSRS - aka Super Late Summer Recap Series (hoping that the amazing @typingtess doesn’t mind my riffing on the concept of her KWIKN series - i.e. Knowing What I Know Now - but unlike her, I will not have previously seen the episodes). 

(I’m also still calling it Super Late Summer Recap Series because it technically is still summer till September 22, even if everyone is starting to be in “fall mode”).

Sooo....without further ado (too late!!) here is the SLSRS for “The Silo.”

My initial gut reaction is that this was an episode that had roughly two great scenes, and that most of what came in between them was filler.

Is my view harsh? Perhaps.

Am I Densi-biased (because the two great scenes, to me, were the Densi phone call just before Kensi destroys her phone and the final scene on the rooftop)?

Maybe...but I don’t think so in this case. I love all of the other characters as well (eh, jury’s still out on Moseley, but I really love everyone else), and I’m as happy with a great Callen and Sam scene, or a Neric scene, or a Hetty and Callen scene, or a team action sequence as I am with Densi scenes.

It’s just that, in this case, most of what was going on outside of the two Densi scenes was either bland and forgettable (i.e. having Moseley repeat nearly the exact same information over and over about how telling the team anything about Kensi’s mission would be risking national security/their lives/etc.) or it was fairly nonsensical (i.e. having the FBI agent in charge strictly instructing Kensi that she was NOT to act as an agent on the case, just to try to reach Kevin on an emotional level, and then treating her as if she was an agent the entire time she was there).

And as far as the case itself went, there was a fair bit more nonsense in the writing there as well. Plus a big question was raised for me - Kensi supposedly dated Kevin for “three months ten years ago, it meant nothing” as she tells Deeks. Yet, the FBI found no other connections/relationships/friends/etc that he had made in ten years other than Kensi and his own sister?! Was he living so solely for his service to have had no one else in that entire time that would mean as much as a brief relationship over a decade ago?

I know it was probably a plot hole in the writing, but it (perhaps unintentionally, perhaps intentionally) set Kevin up to be an incredibly lonely, closed-off individual, and while it made sense that he’d then be primed to be sucked into the plot that the faction was trying to carry off, it also made me incredibly sad for how lonely he must have been. And then to meet the end that he met just seemed like it was really piling on the sadness.

All in all, I wanted more nuance in that whole section of the episode - more of the sister (Tiffany), more of how she and Kevin related to each other and the bond that was forged between her and Kensi while they tried to reach out to him. Though the ending moment at the silo, where they’re looking at each other and Tiffany just knows that Kensi was responsible for her brother’s death, even if Kensi really wished she could’ve prevented it - that was a well-done gut punch.

But agh...what this episode did right, it really did right.

That phone call had all the echoes of the “Blye, K.” phone call in season three, but with so much more depth and meaning behind it now - all of the nuanced evolution of their relationship was in Deeks’ panicked babbling and Kensi’s amused/frustrated “just stop talking.” 

He knew, I think, before the call ever connected, what she was going to do. And she knew he knew it. Didn’t make it any easier on either of them.

(And if ECO keeps getting to toss chairs around, that’s fine by me - he looked damn good doing it).

It’s this moment, I think, where the tiny fractures in their relationship really start - this is the beginning of what will form the larger cracks and fissures that appear by the season finale (which I’ve seen hinted at in spoilers from later in the season).

Before now, any time Deeks talked about walking away from the job, doing something safer, maybe having kids, etc. it was always couched in a smile, a joke, a feeling like “there’s still time to talk about it later.” Now, they’re both starkly facing the fact that there might not be any more time, and up against a do-or-die deadline, they want decidedly different things.

Which leads to that final, heartrending conversation on the rooftop. They’re pretty bluntly honest here (”How long do we keep doing this?” “You tell me, you’re the one that wanted to stay in.” “I don’t know.” “Well that’s just...great.”), and the writing and performances in this scene are absolutely amazing.

It’s a frank discussion of very serious issues for their relationship and neither the actors nor the writers shied away from showing every little micro-detail of how hard it is. They’ve outlined the crossroads they’re at, but they don’t know where to go from here. It’s very important, I think, for where I’ve heard that they will be at in their relationship later in the season that this conversation raises a TON of issues for them, but offers no easy answers.

Heck, it doesn’t really offer answers at all.

Yet, at the end, as everything fades to black, they’re wrapped up in each other...which gives me hope for the long run. It’ll be a bumpy road, but they’ll get there.

Eventually.

Up Next: “This is What We Do.”

#ncis: los angeles #ncisla #S9 #S9 recaps #SLSRS #my thoughts #really late to the party #but still here #metaaa

[turtle-paced]

Revisiting Chapters: Jon IV, ADWD

We all love a good chapter devoted to our PoV character attending meetings.

The story so far…

Jon has a lot of guests at the Wall. Some of them are staying, some of them are going to march on the Boltons. Now Jon has to work out how and whether to help them all.

Winter Is…Not Adequately Provisioned For

We start our chapter with a literal taking stock. 

Jon, Dolorous Edd, Bowen Marsh and Wick Whittlestick venture into Castle Black’s granaries and cold storage to work out what exactly they have and how long it might last. Sensibly for a castle located in the climate it’s located in, Castle Black has a lot of underground tunnels so that the Watch doesn’t get snowed in. With Jon, we tour Castle Black’s granaries, root cellars, smokehouses, at least four miscellaneous storerooms, a spice locker, and finally the freezer. That last is located inside the Wall itself - the room is as long as Winterfell’s great hall, according to Jon, but no wider than the tunnels that brought them there. Even in the most mundane use of the great working of magic that is the Wall, there’s something not exactly natural about the place.

He could feel his fingers sticking, and when he pulled them back he lost a bit of skin. His fingertips were numb. What did you expect? There’s a mountain of ice above your head, more tons than even Bowen Marsh could count. Even so, the room felt colder than it should. 

Like magic. Icy, icy magic.

It doesn’t take long to learn that Jon is very much a summer child.

“It is worse than I feared, my lord,” Marsh announced when he was done. He sounded gloomier than Dolorous Edd. 

Jon had just been thinking that all the meat in the world surrounded them. You know nothing, Jon Snow. “How so? This seems a deal of food to me.” 

Not only is Jon not old enough to have much experience with this sort of stocktaking in general, the only winter he’s lived through was a short one when he was still a very young boy. Short rations are not a thing he’s overly familiar with to start with; short rations for years is even more alien. This is why the you know nothing is there - Jon is reminding himself that his perspective is narrow and he’s speaking to someone who knows more than he does. You know nothing, Jon Snow, and certainly not how much people eat.

The food situation Bowen Marsh outlines is a dire one. With current and projected residents at Winterfell, all that food porn will only last them a year. After that, it’s turnips and pease porridge. After that, horse blood. Marsh had expected this to be enough to last the Watch three to four years of winter, never once anticipating the sudden influx of people.

So what to do? Marsh is the expert, and he has a range of measures Jon could use. First, the Watch’s herds need to be butchered save for a few breeding pairs; while that means they’re going to have scurvy at the Wall, but scurvy is better than starving. Second, they need to go on winter rations effective immediately. Third, they should consider buying food from the south. Fourth, and preferably, Jon kicks all the extra mouths out.

This is where the politics comes in. The Watch simply does not have enough food. They cannot kick Stannis out:

“We cannot leave King Stannis and his men to starve, even if we wished to,” Jon said. “If need be, he could simply take all this at sword-point. We do not have the men to stop them.”

Jon refuses to let the Free Folk starve, because he’s a humanitarian and not in the sense that Dolorous Edd jokes about. Buying food poses a problem.

We could, thought Jon, if we had the gold, and someone willing to sell us food. Both of those were lacking. Our best hope may be the Eyrie. The Vale of Arryn was famously fertile and had gone untouched during the fighting. 

If only, Jon, if only. This from the guy who once wished for a dragon or three to help fight the Others.

Hunting to top up food storage is hypothetically possible.

“We can always hunt if need be,” Wick Whittlestick put in. “There’s still game in the woods.” 

“And wildlings, and darker things,” said Marsh. “I would not send out hunters, my lord. I would not.” 

No. You would close our gates forever and seal them up with stone and ice. 

And this is a massive split within the Watch itself. As Jon points out, it’s roughly fifty-fifty as to sealing the Wall off, and the individual orders within the Watch are factionalised. The builders and stewards are pro-sealing gates. The rangers are in favour of leaving the Wall relatively open, since the Watch doesn’t have the men to defend the whole Wall. This would seem to reflect the degree of knowledge the respective orders have of the Free Folk and conditions beyond the Wall; the rangers are familiar with the Free Folk, and are certain that if the gates are sealed off the Free Folk will either climb or go around, while the builders and stewards trust in the Wall itself, which they’ve spent years maintaining.

Jon, being Jon, noticed the professional split. His career has tended more towards the duties of a ranger and his sympathies are towards the rangers, despite being nominally a steward, and he too hews to the ranger/builder-steward split. His sympathy to the opposing position is minimal. Here we also see Jon refusing to adopt the winter rations measure that Marsh suggests, without giving his reasons for not doing so. The working relationship between Jon and Marsh is not in a good place, even now. It’s only going to get worse.

Ranging South

As soon as Jon’s done with that job, another appears in the form of Devan Seaworth, summoning Jon to a meeting with Stannis (requesting, that’s how Edd would put it, requesting). As the wrong-way rangers have reutrned, it’s time to make some more concrete plans. Politically, this is a busy chapter, as Jon tries to catch up on the internal machinations of Stannis’ camp, while simultaneously dealing with Stannis’ campaign and his own organisation’s problems. And Jon does not have Davos’ ACoK and ASoS chapters to help him out.

Let’s try and tackle this issue by issue.

First, Stannis’ camp. Jon has made himself familiar with them, and he’s taken note of their factionalism as well. The prominence and status of the queen’s men is obvious, given that they wear flaming hearts in addition to the Baratheon colours. Jon’s noted that there aren’t many king’s men around the king, something something back in ASoS.

Unfortunately, the queen’s men boast a few prominent, religiously bigoted, xenophobic assholes. 

Godry the Giantslayer guffawed. “I had forgotten that you northmen worship trees.” 

“What sort of god lets himself be pissed upon by dogs?” asked Farring’s crony Clayton Suggs. 

Ser Godry was amused by that as well. “What names these northmen have! Did this one bite the head off some whore?” 

Given that these guys are going to be stuck in a Northern setting for the foreseeable future…their intolerance and crude religious chauvinism already spell trouble. No you know nothing is getting through those skulls.

Second, there’s the situation Stannis is heading into. He’s trying to get the Northern lords on side and not doing spectacularly well. The first topic of conversation is Mors Umber, leader of half of House Umber, and the price Mors demands for his support of Stannis. While Jon argues with Godry, Stannis sits back and grinds his teeth, before unveiling his grand plan: while Ramsay’s turned away to open Moat Cailin, take the Dreadfort. 

It, uh, it’s a plan that needs some work. Concept’s good. It falls apart in practice. To take the Dreadfort, Stannis would have to cross potentially hostile Umber lands, where he knows nothing and the Umbers know just about everything. He won’t be able to make it to the Dreadfort before the castle’s warned in any case, thanks to ravens and beacon fires. That would turn the siege of the Dreadfort into a race, where if Stannis loses his retreat is cut off and he’s outnumbered five to one. Stannis is nevertheless resolved to this plan despite the risk, but not so resolved that he’s blind to its flaws. Nor is he unwilling to consider alternatives.

Finally, the issue of the Free Folk. We see that Stannis includes them in his meeting - not just “Rattleshirt,” but the Magnar of Thenn as well. Stannis quickly punts the issue of Rattleshirt to Jon (or so he perceives it), much to Jon’s irritation. Jon can make no use of Rattleshirt. He can neither keep him at Castle Black nor send him away.

Melisandre spoke softly in a strange tongue. The ruby at her throat throbbed slowly, and Jon saw that the smaller stone on Rattleshirt’s wrist was brightening and darkening as well. “So long as he wears the gem he is bound to me, blood and soul,” the red priestess said. “This man will serve you faithfully. The flames do not lie, Lord Snow.” 

Perhaps not, Jon thought, but you do. 

Not even real magic - perhaps especially even real magic - can induce Jon to think of Rattleshirt as anything but a dangerous liability.

As for the other VIP, Val the “wildling princess,” Jon gets to look after her as well. Nobody but him in this meeting seems to really grok that the Free Folk don’t consider her a princess.

Stannis initially plans to take the Free Folk who’ve crossed the Wall as part of his own forces. The men, anyway. Jon quickly realises that this is going to get these people killed uselessly, and argues to keep them. Eventually, he ends up trading knowledge of the hill clans in order to keep the Free Folk out of Stannis’ forces. His reasons are both practical - he can use the men on the Wall; the Free Folk really will piss off the Northern lords - and humanitarian.

It’s also worth noting that we see some of the best of Stannis here, who really has come a long way since the start of ACoK and not just in the sense he’s a few hundred miles north of where he started. He hears out Jon’s criticism in full, and when Jon’s plan turns out to be better than his own, he adopts it, recognising Jon’s superior knowledge of the North. When Jon tells him to suck it up and ask nicely for the mountain clans’ support, Stannis sucks it up.

“For three thousand men, I suppose I can endure some pipes and porridge,” the king said, though his tone begrudged even that. 

I mean, not gracefully or anything, but he does.

Take No Part

Underpinning all the exposition and planning in the meeting is Jon’s internal conflict. He wants to help Stannis. He wants Winterfell liberated from Bolton control. He wants the Starks restored to their seat. Now, he’s in a position where he might, he just might, be able to meaningfully contribute to such a state of affairs.

And all that stops him are his vows.

Since vows and honour matter to Jon, he doesn’t just say “screw it” and start aiding Stannis. He bends his oath first.

The Night’s Watch takes no part, Jon thought, but another voice within him said, Words are not swords. 

The first step is giving Stannis intel. First is a bio of Mors Umber, then details of marriage alliances, and an application of his knowledge of Crowfood’s personality.

“The Ryswells and Dustins are tied to House Bolton by marriage,” Jon informed him. “These others have lost their lords in the fighting. I do not know who leads them now. Crowfood is no lapdog, though.”

We readers might consider this sort of thing fairly innocuous, but this isn’t a society where accurate biographical information is all that easy to come by. There aren’t many people on the scene who would have that sort of knowledge of Mors Umber. This sort of knowledge is very much a benefit of Jon being raised at Winterfell and enjoying a good chunk of Robb’s education. Knowledge of the people in power is an asset in this society. Here we see Jon use it.

But Jon does not stop there. Instead, he moves from giving background detail that Stannis might, just might, be able to get from elsewhere, and turns to giving advice. That, that is a positive contribution to Stannis’ campaign, from Jon.

“Your Grace should have him swear an oath before his heart tree.” 

“Your Grace would do well to accept his terms.” 

“If it comes to swords, see where Hother’s banner flies and put Mors on the other end of the line.” 

He also actively pursues additional information about the status of Stannis’ plans to retake Winterfell. It’s a purely academic interest, we’re sure.

In case there was much doubt that Jon is motivated at least in part by his Northern loyalties, he gets drawn into an argument with Godry.

“A fine plan if what you want is every hand in the north raised against you. Half is more than none. The Umbers have no love for the Boltons. If Whoresbane has joined the Bastard, it can only be because the Lannisters hold the Greatjon captive.” 

“The Greatjon has sons and daughters both. In the north the children of a man’s body still come before his uncles, ser.” 

Jon speaks as a Northman in this argument, deeply irritated by this arrogant shit of a southerner who’s come up here boasting about killing giants and now proposes to flat up destroy a major Northern house. He’s also still obviously bitter about the Karstark thing back in ASoS.

“A northman.” Better a Karstark than a Bolton or a Greyjoy, Jon told himself, but the thought gave him little solace. “The Karstarks abandoned my brother amongst his enemies.” 

This marks him as more than just a Northerner, but a Stark partisan. When Stannis starts talking about who he plans to install as Lord of Winterfell, obviously goading Jon, Jon has only this to say:

Jon said, “Winterfell belongs to my sister Sansa.” 

He’s as adamant as any Northerner, any Stark, that Winterfell belongs to the Starks in general, and now Sansa in particular. His sister. Not half-sister, not trueborn sister. No qualifiers. Just his sister. He loves her, just as he loves Robb and Arya and Bran and Rickon. That’s part of his political problem and the bulk of his internal dilemma.

Jon gives even more specific advice and analysis, meant to give Stannis a better chance of success.

“The boy has shown me his throat. I mean to rip it out. Roose Bolton may regain the north, but when he does he will find that his castle, herds, and harvest all belong to me. If I take the Dreadfort unawares—” 

“You won’t,” Jon blurted. 

This is incredibly significant, as we discover later that the Boltons were doing their best to lure Stannis into marching on the Dreadfort and into a trap. Jon’s still not done. He reluctantly allows Stannis to take spears and helms from the Watch armoury:

He means to plunder our armory, Jon realized. Food and clothing, land and castles, now weapons. He draws me in deeper every day. Words might not be swords, but swords were swords. 

Then he tells Stannis where to find more men. It comes with advice on how to win the mountain clans over, plus guides. He justifies it like so:

The Night’s Watch takes no part, a voice said, but another replied, Stannis fights for the realm, the ironmen for thralls and plunder. 

This isn’t a bad argument. Stannis does intend to aid the Watch in a way that the Boltons and the Greyjoys aren’t going to. The Watch would be better served if Stannis took control of Winterfell. Jon never articulates this position to his subordinates. Perhaps for fear that it wouldn’t be very convincing, given his background, and the fact that good arguments aside, those personal reasons for wanting the Boltons out of Winterfell do motivate him as much or more than “for the realm.”

Here’s the point, though. Words are not swords, but Jon’s words in this meeting were more effective than swords. Jon’s words about the terrain and political geography of the North, his knowledge of the Dreadfort, it convinces Stannis to abandon the plan that would have ended with his defeat. How can this level of advice possibly count as “taking no part”?

For all this, there is one bright clear line that Jon draws. One line he won’t cross, or bend.

“You could bring the north to me. Your father’s bannermen would rally to the son of Eddard Stark. Even Lord Too-Fat-to-Sit-a-Horse. White Harbor would give me a ready source of supply and a secure base to which I could retreat at need. It is not too late to amend your folly, Snow. Take a knee and swear that bastard sword to me, and rise as Jon Stark, Lord of Winterfell and Warden of the North.” 

How many times will he make me say it? “My sword is sworn to the Night’s Watch.” 

Night’s Watch vows and love of his family coincide on this point. Jon won’t break his oath to the Watch, and especially not to take the castle and title he sees as belonging to his sister.

Chapter Function

In terms of plot, this chapter is largely dispositive, inching a whole bunch of plot points along rather than radically changing the game on the spot (except in providing that massive “what if,” but even that’s slid in at a meeting). We don’t have a PoV on Stannis; this chapter bridges the gap between him leaving the Wall and him showing up at Deepwood Motte. We know who’s going where and who isn’t - Melisandre, Val, and “Rattleshirt” are all staying at the Wall. Arnolf Karstark’s betrayal is seeded. The coming food shortage is seeded.

The more important part of this chapter is Jon’s character development, which is why we’re at the planning session for a campaign rather than following the campaign itself. Jon’s working relationships with Bowen Marsh and Stannis, especially the latter, are the real focus of this chapter. His interactions with them, the concessions he is and is not willing to make, is the real action here. In parallel to Dany, whichever way Jon turns, he must compromise.

Miscellany

In amongst all the food you’d expect to find in a cold climate (turnips, beets, etc), the Watch also has stores of certain spices, almonds, figs, and olives. Plus Marsh mentions at one point having limes in storage. Those are coming from further south than the Riverlands.

Mance Rayder loves his drama. In Rattleshirt’s guise, he can’t help but poke at Jon for killing ‘Mance,’ nor help drawing attention to the ruby that anchors the glamour Melisandre’s put on him.

“Your Grace will need to go to them yourself. Eat their bread and salt, drink their ale, listen to their pipers, praise the beauty of their daughters and the courage of their sons, and you’ll have their swords.”

Never have I wanted a Stannis PoV more. Or at least a PoV that could watch Stannis trying to do this.

Clothing Porn

The Magnar of Thenn wears a leather hauberk sewn with bronze scales, which by Free Folk standards is incredibly blinged out.

Food Porn

Let’s just blockquote the paragraph.

In the granaries were oats and wheat and barley, and barrels of coarse ground flour. In the root cellars strings of onions and garlic dangled from the rafters, and bags of carrots, parsnips, radishes, and white and yellow turnips filled the shelves. One storeroom held wheels of cheese so large it took two men to move them. In the next, casks of salt beef, salt pork, salt mutton, and salt cod were stacked ten feet high. Three hundred hams and three thousand long black sausages hung from ceiling beams below the smokehouse. In the spice locker they found peppercorns, cloves, and cinnamon, mustard seeds, coriander, sage and clary sage and parsley, blocks of salt. Elsewhere were casks of apples and pears, dried peas, dried figs, bags of walnuts, bags of chestnuts, bags of almonds, planks of dry smoked salmon, clay jars packed with olives in oil and sealed with wax. One storeroom offered potted hare, haunch of deer in honey, pickled cabbage, pickled beets, pickled onions, pickled eggs, and pickled herring. 

And that’s before we get to the meat storage, which is way less appetising in frozen form. It’s not quite food porn - more like pantry porn, I think.

Next Three Chapters

Cersei II, AFFC - Jaime II, ASoS - Prologue, ASoS

#ASoIaF #revisiting chapters #jon snow #stannis baratheon #bowen marsh #a dance with dragons

[the-erudite-library]

The Fateless Chapter 2: The Test

Read on AO3

The tests begin after lunch. I won’t be taking any of my afternoon classes today so I’ll have plenty of time to think about my choice. We mostly did nothing in class; one would think that the teachers would want to cram all they could into one last lesson because for some of us this will be our last day of school for the rest of our lives, but that would be wrong. It was mostly just parting words and free time. This was everyone else's last day of the school year too, but they'll be back again and they also got to leave before lunch. We're stuck here until at least the end of the school day barring some sort of illness or injury. No one knows what the test because we’re not supposed to be told, so none of us know what to expect.

I sit between Casey and my other friend; Elizabeth Reynolds, known to most as Eliza. Eliza is a bit arrogant to say the very least. She always has been, but it’s not like she doesn’t have a reason to be. She’s is highly intelligent and has a knack for navigating life with a certain sensibility and grace that I could never amount to. She radiates elegance in every aspect of her life, a product of her upbringing I guess – though that just raises the question why I can’t be like that because we grew up together. Like Casey and I, Eliza was born to powerful people. Her father, Jason, is a very well-respected researcher in his field and works very closely with the head of the head of the pharmacology department. Her mother, Cynthia, owns the largest makeup company in the city; it’s branched out from just being an Erudite business to opening a shop in City Center where people of all factions can go.

In some ways, Eliza reminds me a lot of Melanie. Melanie’s kind of arrogant too but totally has a reason to be to be with how smart she is, and Eliza has that same drive to know everything that they can about everything. But Eliza’s greatest interests lie in chemistry and software engineering, both careers that Erudite always needs new people in.

I met Eliza when we were seven at one of my parents’ many dinner parties after the adults shooed away the kids so they could drink and talk without being disturbed. I like her a lot; I always have. She’s funny and she’s got this energy about her that repulses some and draws in others. She’s one of the really competitive Erudite, but neither of us really feel like we have to compete with each other or Casey. We’re all totally secure in our friendship and we all know where we stand. It’s not that Casey and I aren’t smart enough to keep up with Eliza because we definitely are, it’s just that neither of us really want to compete against her like others do. She is our dearest friend and we’re all just really invested in supporting each other. There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do for either of them, all that they have to do ask. And I know for certain that they feel the same about me.

Eliza twirls a lock of her silky black hair around her finger as she talks, her voice laced with haughty contempt. “Dahlia doesn’t know what she’s talking about and I’m more than happy to set her right if she would only get off her high horse and listen.”

Eliza holds a particular disdain quite a few classmates of ours and from what I know, there are many that feel the same about her. She speaks of Dahlia often, and I can’t say that I disagree with her. Like I said, some of the acquaintances I have are just terrible.

“She’s so arrogant,” Casey says. “And totally underserving.”

“Mhm.” Eliza nods in agreement. “I’m so sick of her acting like she’s better than me or something.”

“At least I’ll never have to see her again after today,” Casey says with a smile that contrasts the heavy nature of her statement that isn’t lost on Eliza and I. But we all knew that this day was coming; we’ve known for years that Casey would leave us and, like me, Eliza is just glad that she’s pursuing her own happiness.

“Ugh, Mimi and I are probably going to be stuck with her forever,” Eliza says with a roll of her eyes.

No one wants to discuss our choices without certainty. But I’m the only one of my friends without it. Eliza knows and has always known that Erudite is where she truly belongs. It suits her, she loves it here and she knows how to excel in way that sort of scares me. Casey has always known that she’s leaving and in recent months has begun to look toward Amity as her new home. I think that suits her too, I really do think that she’ll be happy there.

Casey and Eliza sort of assume that I’m staying because of how deeply tied to the place I am and I don’t have the nerve to tell them that I’m not sure. I want to tell them now, but there are too many other people around. I want to tell them now, but I don’t want Eliza to freak out. I want to tell them now, but I’m still not sure if I’m not going to stick around. I wish that this were simpler; I wish there was some sort of ‘idiot’s guide to choosing a faction’ or something, I think that would really help. Maybe the notion that knowing more would make my life easier means that I’m fated for Erudite. Maybe if I just keep repeating that I belong somewhere than eventually I will; maybe that’s just how it works for everyone.

I do not think that is how it works for everyone.

My lack of response creates a pocket of awkwardness as Eliza and Casey both look to me to laugh with them and join their casual disparaging of Dahlia’s character. Not that she doesn’t totally have it coming.

Before I can force the awkward laugh from my throat and stumble over an agreement of how much it will suck to always be around Dahlia all the time, I receive a text from my sister that gives me an excuse to look away. Melanie asks me to lunch after I’m done with testing and I tell her that that sounds lovely. I might even be able to get some advice on what to do from her. Of course, Melanie always knew who she was going to be and where she belonged, I remember her always saying ‘When I’m a member…’ like there was never any alternative because for her I suppose there wasn’t. I doubt there was one for Michael either; my reserved and studious brother who spent so much of his time holed up in his room studying long before he began initiation. Erudite is woven into the twins, and my parents, and Jeanine, and Eliza in a way that I wish it could be a part of me. I wish that I could just exude that energy, have that personality; I wish that I were just a little bit more like them so that I would know exactly what to do. They have all always known exactly what to do.

With Mark and Minerva my memories are always a little fuzzier. Honestly, I don’t remember a lot of Mark before he was getting close to leaving. I wasn’t around him like I was around the twins and I can’t really remember him acting really ‘like Amity’. He didn’t act like my parents, I remember that, but I also knew enough about people to know that everyone was different. I hear how faction transfers always seem a little off before they leave, but I never saw that with Mark and Minerva. Or maybe it was there and I was just too young to realize.

I wonder if they struggled with their choices like I’m struggling with mine now. I wonder if they fought what they were and my confusion is just me subconsciously suppressing who I really am. But I like to think that I would know if I were Candor or Amity.

All due respect to Minerva and whatever, but I am not terribly fond of Candor. In some ways I can appreciate how straightforward they are, but most of the time I find them to be loud and obnoxious. It’s always the Dauntless and the Candor that talk too much and cause too many distractions. I mean, Erudite also have a tendency to talk too much, that stereotype doesn’t come from nowhere, but at least we know what we’re talking about. Candor just tend to spew out whatever comes into their mind and Dauntless are just crass.

Don’t get me wrong, I do love Minerva and I do admire her work in Candor and I admire what Candor does for this city. But every Candor teenager I have ever met has been nothing short of extremely irritating. At least I know of one good Dauntless my age.

I glance over to where the Dauntless sit and spot her playing cards with a group of three others. She brushes her brown and gold, nearly gravity-defying curls away from her face only for the section to fall right back over her left eye. She notices me out of the corner of her eye and waves; I wave back and the others notice too. A little grin crosses Eliza’s face that she more than happily returns.

I met Kira Elysium when I was thirteen, which was when the others met her too. We were all just hanging around during the break in the park when Kira waltzed over to us and just sat down, jumping in on our conversation like we’d been friends for years. She’s as bold as she is compassionate and fits in with our little group very, very well. Of course, she has friends of her own in Dauntless who’s names escape me because I only seen them once or twice. She says she likes to think of her friendship with us like an alter ego, no pressure to be daring and out there; she can be as bookish and nerdy as she likes without anyone giving her shit for it. She isn’t terribly interested in Dauntless, but she seems endlessly enchanted and fascinated by Erudite. I think she knows what faction she’ll be choosing tomorrow too.

I know that most Dauntless aren’t Kira, that she’s a rarity, that she’s always been more Erudite than Dauntless and so I don’t base any of my opinions of them off of her. If I did then I’d probably think much better of them. Kira likes her birth faction well enough. She’s told us that she thinks it’s a fine place to be, but she never says much of it past that. I think that she’s is as scared of leaving as I am. Neither of us are like Casey; even though Kira seems to have fallen in love with Erudite she is still hesitant to make any commitments. Speaking of commitments, I know that she and Eliza have had a thing for each other for a while now. I know because they’ve both told me and both of them are aware that the other likes them back. But interfaction dating isn’t allowed and even if it were Eliza could never date a Dauntless, and like I said Kira is still not totally ready to jump ship yet. Even so, I don’t think that she’ll be staying there. I think that, if I stay, we’ll be seeing a lot of each other during initiation.

Her fascination with Erudite aside, Kira’s really crazy smart. I know that I’m smart, and I know that Casey and Eliza are smart, and I’m sure there are smart Dauntless, but Kira is on another level. Kira really is Erudite smart and if she were Erudite I think she would be some of Eliza’s greatest competition. She learns all that she does because she thinks it’s fun, because she enjoys the hands on work that she can do as much as she enjoys reading about things in the abstract. I know that she enjoys mechanics, that she volunteers at a Dauntless repair shop in her free time that her uncle worked for a while back. She really loves it, but as she says, it’s just a hobby; she doesn’t think that it will be something permanent.

If I could invite Kira over to sit with us, I would. I love talking to her because on top of everything else, she’s super witty too. Her quick humor and spur of the moment jokes are one of the many things that I love about her. But none of us are allowed to move from our tables and go interact with kids from other factions. For all that we’re supposed to coexist happily and interact, there sure are a lot of limits on just how we can interact with each other. All that we can do is sit with our respective factions and just do what we’re supposed to.

I look around at the other tables, first noticing the others that belong to my own faction. Everyone is either studying or talking. Some had enough foresight to bring a book that they actually want to read (i.e. literally anything besides the textbooks that we have. All of them are digital downloads with hard copies kept in class, but it’s the only reading material we were provided if we forgot our own stuff). Others type on laptops or tablets. We’re supposed to be studying, but I really doubt that it matters as long as you don’t get caught. Most of us started out the waiting period buried in our books and tech, but as time wore on the quiet slowly began to break down and a lot of kids have abandoned their stuff for conversations with their friends.

To the left of the Erudite tables are the Dauntless tables. Looking past Kira and her friends playing cards, I see that other Dauntless are doing the same or talking much more loudly. Others brought other games to play to pass the time. That entire section of the cafeteria is just a lot of noise. The Dauntless are as beautiful as they are fascinating to me. My siblings and parents never hesitate to roll their eyes at the Dauntless look but I think it’s great. They look comfortable (more comfortable than I have ever been in some of my dresses) while at the same time being stunning. Between their tattoos, piercings, dramatic makeup, and unnatural hair colors that take up their entire head paired with creative styles, their bodies are works of art in and of themselves. To me it is a very attractive, if slightly off putting, look; and I know for a fact that Eliza thinks so too. Erudite also has a lot of dramatic makeup, but Dauntless’ is darker and heavier. They are less focused on making themselves look perfect and more on making themselves noticeable. I have seen people with eyeshadow and lipstick as bright and colorful as their hair in every color imaginable, always paired with very heavy eyeliner that draws attention to the eyes.

Candor to my right are no better in the noise department, I suppose. Their faction encourages talking openly at all times, so that is what they do. A few groups, from what I can overhear, are debating something that was in the news this morning, but most of the kids are just chatting about nothing. Some of them look exceptionally bored, like they would rather be doing anything than talking to whoever they’re talking to. I am very familiar with that feeling. Aside from Minerva, I have never been very fond of the Candor, but I can at least appreciate the aesthetic that they have going. Their black and white clothing looks neat and put together just like the clothes in Erudite do. They don’t have as much variety in color, but they make up for it in style. Many of them have a natural beauty about them honed from years of learning how to be stunning without makeup because their faction doesn’t allow it.

Some of the Amity have abandoned their tables to sit on the floor in circles and play games that cause them to erupt into a fit of giggles every five or so minutes. Others remain in their seats and talk excitedly with bright smiles and lots of hand gestures. I can easily see why my brother would have been drawn to Amity; I am a little drawn to Amity. It’s hard not to be when they all just look so happy. Maybe it is not the wisest life to lead; perhaps it won’t lead to great success and prominence, but no one can deny Amity’s importance to our city. And maybe prominence isn’t everything. I mean, Mark obviously didn’t think so. I can see both the physical and metaphorical beauty in Amity. Their lives just seem so carefree, so easy. They never have to stress about anything and everything is always very pleasant. It would be so nice to be that way, to live without a care in the world. There is beauty in their kindness too; their bright smiles and how they always know just what to say. They always seem very in tune with others emotions and are ready to offer comfort even to those outside of their faction. Every Amity just seems to really enjoy being alive and I’ll bet that makes it a little easier to always be nice to people. Amity are pretty physically too. Every faction has sort of a look going for them beyond just colors and Amity’s is very light and soft, like they are. When they’re not working, most of them wear their hair long, loose, and natural. Their skin is perpetually sunkissed from working in the fields and many of them have freckles from the same thing. I look at Casey and I wonder how long it will take her to develop freckles that weren’t there before and a tan. Mark is noticeably slightly darker than the rest of my family and he has a little splash of freckles across his nose that I don’t remember being there when we were children.

The Abnegation sit on the far side of the cafeteria, all of them staring blankly into space with their hands folded. Their faction rules dictate that they’re always supposed to be quiet, still, and unnoticeable until someone can make use of them. There’s not a lot to look at with them; they don’t do anything, they don’t act like anything, the only time they ever say anything is when it’s their leaders. In a way I find it odd how they can always be so quiet, but in a way I do admire them. They always seem to be totally at peace, totally comfortable with fading into the background. I guess that if you never think about yourself then there’s nothing to be uncomfortable with. I kind of respect and envy that.

Eliza is called with the next group and as she stands neither Casey nor I wish her luck or reassure her, she doesn’t need it. Eliza knows who she is and where she belongs; she always has. She’s going to be an amazing Erudite who will do incredible things just like her parents, like my family, like the department heads. I think that Eliza will be one of them some day; maybe she’ll even be faction leader.

“I’m kind of nervous,” Casey says quietly, twisting her fingers together.

I nod, “Me too. But it’ll be fine; we - we already know where we belong.” The words feel wrong in my mouth, like the kind of lie that makes your skin crawl and you feel uncomfortable for ever saying it.

She nods with a strange look on her face. “Right.”

We fall into silence and she goes back to her book so I glance down at my phone, trying to pass the time by scrolling through my pictures. I’m not exactly one of those people who takes pictures of everything, but I do have some good ones. Most of them feature my friends, laughing and smiling. But flipping through them only makes the fear in my chest stronger. I don’t want to have to leave; I don’t want to lose them, I don’t want to be separated. But whether I leave or not things are about to change and they’ll never go back to the way that they used to be. Casey is going to leave. I keep saying that I’m okay with it and that it’s not a big deal because I’ve always known, but I’m going to miss her. I want her to be happy, but I also don’t want to lose my best friend. Following her wherever she goes isn’t really an option either; I could never be Amity, and I can’t just abandon Eliza and my family, right?

But I know that they’d all be fine without me if I did leave. Eliza is perfectly self-sufficient and she’s got Kira. My parents have watched two of their children leave already, they might not approve but I would never have to know. If I can’t do anything for myself then I at least want to make everyone else happy, but I can’t because everyone’s going in different directions. I don’t want to be alone and I don’t want to be smothered. I’m so afraid that I won’t survive if I stay in Erudite, or I’ll let everyone down. My family expects so much from me and I don’t want to disappoint them. I’m not Michael or Melanie; I don’t belong like they do, I can never pretend that Erudite is all that I’ve ever wanted and that I’ve always been sure.

When people look at me they always see something that I’m not. It feels like everybody thinks that I’m super smart and really impressive like all of my siblings are, but I’m not. I’ll never be as good as my siblings no matter how much I want to be. That’s always been my friends, they’re more adept than I am at pretty much everything. I mean, I have hobbies and even things that I’m good at. I get good grades and I’m good at talking to people, but I’m nothing outstanding. The only thing that makes me special is who I’m related to and that’s practically nothing if I can’t live up to my family’s legacy. Everyone I’m related to is special; everyone I’m related to is talented, and smart, and outstanding. Their greatness is natural and effortless; it’s something that they’ve always known and something that they just are. I work really hard at everything I do and I’m still nowhere as good at anything as anyone I know. I’m not oblivious; I know that I’m not the best fighter, or the best cellist, or student. I’ll never be as smart as Kira and Eliza, I’ll never be elegant and perfect like my mother, or strong like Minerva, or effortlessly kind like Mark and Casey. I’m nice, but I can’t draw people to me; and I’m not clumsy, but I am hardly perfect.

Erudite places a lot of importance on knowing what your good at; we call it finding your niche. The idea is that you find what you’re really, really good at and you stick to it. Supposedly everyone has one and that’s what you’re meant to do and be. If I have one, then I haven’t found it yet. Maybe if I could, then it would be easier to figure out what I want to do.

Because that’s what this all circles back to; I don’t know what to do. I feel lost and I’m terrified that nothing I’ll ever do will be what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m really afraid that I’m going to make a mistake, make the wrong choice, and spend the rest of my life miserable. I only get one chance to make my life the best life I can live.

Eliza comes back ten minutes or so later as calm and confident as she was when she left.

“How did it go?” Casey asks.

“Just fine,” she says with a smirk. Neither of us have to ask what she got, we’re not supposed to but that doesn’t exactly stop people, we both already know she got Erudite.

She’ll be really happy here, she’ll do great. I wonder if I’ll get to see it, I really don’t know. I think it’d be cool for her, Kira, and I to rise through the ranks together and for Eliza and I to be the people everyone wants us to be together, and for Kira to be a Dauntless that my parents don’t hate. I think it would be wonderful five years from now to be Melanie and Michael’s age and feel totally at home in tones of blue, surrounded by glass and steel, looking back on today and wonder why I ever worried. To be right there when Eliza claims all of the success that she’s always deserved, to be at her side the whole time; and Kira along with us, shocking everyone time and time again.

But even as I think this I still can’t help but think that this only sounds amazing in theory. In reality I know that it would be hard for all of us, that we’d struggle. Erudite weeds out the weak with brutal efficiency through vicious competition and I don’t worry about Eliza, but Kira and I could get cut down not because we’re not smart enough, but because we’re not as cutthroat as others. As much as I hate her, Dahlia could probably best me easily because she’s as devoted to competing as Eliza is. I might fail.

I do not want to fail.

My thoughts are interrupted as an Abnegation volunteer calls the next group for testing; two from Amity, two from Candor, two from Dauntless (Kira is one of them), two from Abnegation, and then, “From Erudite, Cassandra Diarmond and Mimette Malachite-Captor.”

I stand on trembling legs, smoothing my skirt and leave my journal behind with Eliza. Casey and I walk closely to each other and I want to take her hand to calm my nerves, but I don’t want to appear vulnerable. I am aware that I’m noticeable, I know that people see me and as the daughter of Erudite’s representative I know that there’s always a bit of a spotlight on me. I learned very young that I had to always be conscious of how I look, that I had to project confidence and grace all the time and uphold the core ideals of my faction. I have to be the perfect daughter, especially now that I’m the only one left under my parents’ care. I’m not perfect, but I can never let everyone else know that.

I nearly bump into an Abnegation girl as I go through the door, both of us stepping back quickly. After a moment I realize that it’s the same one that I smacked into in the hallway this morning. She gestures for me to go first and I do, muttering an apology.

Through the door is a hallway with ten frosted glass doors. Each of us goes through one, I glance at Casey one more time before we’re separated.

Inside the room is a chair and a computer terminal with an Abnegation woman sitting at it. We aren’t allowed to be tested by members of our own faction, so most of the volunteers are Abnegation with the exception of a few. The woman’s back is to me as she finishes something; her dark brown hair tied into the same bun that every Abnegation woman wears but hers has a few sections of hair that have fallen loose from it. I close the door behind me with a click and she turns at the sound.

She smiles gently, “My name is Maria. Have a seat please.”

The chair’s back is reclined and so when I lean back I am staring straight up at the ceiling.

“It doesn’t hurt,” Maria says. “It’s actually rather easy.”

“What happens?” I ask.

“I can’t say. Don’t worry about it, just do what feels natural.”

“What does that mean?” Like everyone in my faction, I ask a lot of questions. But I’m sure she’s been getting this all afternoon.

“Don’t worry about it.” She moves some of the loose curls behind her ear. Her eyes are dark and look as warm as her smile.

She hands me a vial of blue tinged liquid. “Drink this.”

“What does it do?”

“I can’t say, you’ll just have to trust me. The test will begin immediately afterward.”

I drink it all in one gulp and lean back again. I feel tired and heavy almost immediately. All I can do is close my eyes as my awareness of everything around me fades away.

When I open my eyes, I am in the cafeteria again. In front of me are two pedestals, each one holding a basket. In one basket is a knife as long as my forearm, gleaming silver in the bright light, and in the other is a slab of raw meet.

“Choose,” a voice says.

“Why?” I look around for the source of the voice and find nothing.

“Choose,” the voice repeats.

I look between the baskets, trying to decide. I reach out and hover over the meat for a minute before going to the knife and then back and then back again. Finally, I pick up the knife. This isn’t the first time I’ve held a knife, Melanie throws knives as a hobby and collects the pretty ones. Hers are far more elegant than the simple black and silver one I hold now.

I hear a noise behind be and turn to see a large black and brown dog growling. I can see its massive sharp teeth from here and I look down at the knife in my hand, knowing what I’m meant to do with it. But I can’t. I can’t kill this dog, I can’t and I won’t.

I throw the knife off to the side and hear it clatter to the floor somewhere. I step back slowly. There’s no way that I’ll be fast enough to make it all the way to the door, I wish that I’d grabbed the meat.

The dog snarls and runs at me. I don’t have a lot of experience with animals, Erudite doesn’t allow pets, but I know that usually they are more afraid of you than you are of them. Going down to their level and allowing them to approach you on their own terms works well, to be as gentle and nonthreatening as possible.

I, very slowly, kneel down to its height as it continues to run at me. I expect it to pounce on me and I brace for the impact but instead it skids to a stop in front of me. Very slowly, I lift my hand and hold it out in front of me for the dog to sniff. The dog snarls at me and sniffs at my hand. I keep my eyes on the tile and the dog’s feet, keeping my breathing as even as possible. I feel something cold and wet press into my palm and I lift my head slowly. The dog’s snout is pressed into my hand and it looks at me expectantly, its vicious expression gone. I smile slightly and move my hand behind its ears, still slowly so as not to upset it. I scratch behind its ears and it wags its tail, sitting down.

I smile at it. “You’re not so vicious, are you?”

It licks my face and I laugh, wiping the drool away with the back of my hand.

“Puppy!” A child in a white dress exclaims, giggling. “C’mere.”

The dog snarls at the little girl, once again becoming vicious. The child shrieks and flinches, before the dog can run at her I wrap my arms around its neck, keeping it from charging with only my body weight.

I expect to feel sharp teeth sink into me as it thrashes in my arms, but after a moment it stops. I open my screwed shut eyes and I am no longer in the cafeteria, I am sitting on the city bus among dozens of others.

Across the aisle stands a Candor man reading a newspaper. I can’t see his face over the newspaper, but his hands are scarred like he’s been burned as far up as I can see before they disappear into the white sleeves of his jacket. I fold my hands in front of me and stare ahead, reading the front page of his paper. The headline reads, ‘Brutal Murderer Finally Apprehended’ in thick black font. Below the headline is a grainy black and white mugshot of a plain looking man with dark hair and empty eyes. I can’t make out any of the text surrounding the photo thought. Suddenly, the man folds the newspaper so that only the front page shows, his face twisted into a scowl. His face is in the same state as his hands and he wears dark sunglasses, but I can fill in the blanks on what his eyes must look like.

“Do you know this guy?!” he demands, jabbing the mugshot.

I jump slightly looking at the people next to me, and there are people next to me but I can’t quite to focus on their features.

“I’m talking to you, girlie,” he says.

I point to myself, looking around at the other passengers, waiting for them to notice but no one does.

“Yes, you.” I cannot see his eyes, but I do not have to to know that he rolled them. “Well, do you know him?”

I stare intently at the photo, I feel like I might know the man, but the feeling is faint and the photo quality is poor. I glance down to see if there’s a name, but I can’t quite make out any words besides the headline.

“I don’t believe so,” I say. It’s a lie, but he does not seem the sort of person that I want to be honest with.

“I don’t believe you.” He crumples the newspaper.

“You must be mistaking me for someone else.”

“You must be lying to me.” He steps closer and looms over me in my seat.

I rise slowly from my seat, forcing him to take a step back. “I’m not lying.”

“I can see it in your eyes.” I can smell cigarettes on his breath and have to push down the urge to cough.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I try to keep my tone light and pleasant, like dealing with a particularly unpleasant classmate in the presence of a teacher. No one has to know how mean I can be, all I have to do is smile and be polite.

He tilts his sunglasses down and I can see that his eyes are pale green and bloodshot with dark rings under them. “If you knew him, you could save me. You could save me!”

I clench my hands together and look away, anywhere but his eyes. “Well, I’m sorry. I don’t.”

#divergent #fanfic #The Anthem Series

[violetsystems]

#personal

If you haven’t really noticed already I’m a creature of habit and schedule.  Which is probably why I’m back here writing this morning.  Mostly because I feel like I have some constructive things to talk and open up about.  Emotions aside they can be too easily manipulated sometimes.  Everything I put out there gets manipulated in some way or another.  It’s whether or not you feel you are respected or not.  And lashing out at one thing can suffocate the atmosphere in other realms.  That’s a long difficult talk that I’ve had over and over again on here for years.  How I have to keep an open channel but it gets jammed frequently.  It’s been a lot more quiet lately.  There have been some changes in my life in the last couple of weeks on vacation.  More money for one but less at the same time.  I live inside of a monthly spreadsheet for personal finances so none of it really matters.  I have goals.  I spend a lot less but I budget everything out I need.  I think with the stability I’ve carved out for myself I worry less about the future in that regard.  I have a job.  It sucks sometimes.  This city can be a beast but it’s far less confrontational than New York.  My dad often says that the same problems you find in a job you will find anywhere.  He also kind of gave me the advice to stay the course and keep doing what I am doing.  I’m already prepared for the bullshit here.  I already know where I want to be.  Neither of my parents know specifically what my plans or dreams are.  They know I travel to New York now instead of overseas.  But the specifics are frustratingly hazy.  They never pry too deeply.  Which is why i love them both.  I took my mom out for lunch yesterday in Chinatown.  She took the train and I met her at the stop.  We ate roujiamo at the usual spot.  I told her if I ever travelled alone again internationally it would be to China.  She replied that I could also visit Hong Kong and say hello to my cousin.  I told her I’d rather stay away from the drama even though it’s still China all the same.  I would probably hit up Shanghai and Macau.  The only two places I’ve been in China alone for any period of time.  I spent a day in Macau once.  I ate Indian food at this restaurant alone just before hopping the ferry back to Hong Kong.  The owner sent the server over to invite me to join her and her son at the table.  It’s a moment of kindness that sticks with me to this day.  I was in a tank top covered with tattoos.  Knowing where you are valued for just being you and knowing where you fit in is a sanctuary in and of itself.  Lately I feel like I finally do have a reason to stay in Chicago.  Even if it’s just to paint the walls of my apartment which hasn’t been touched for over a decade.  Kind of like my personal life.  

For the record I’ve spent my time alone getting my shit together.  Chicago is cheaper in the long run.  You wouldn’t know it from the taxes.  I was in line at the dispensary and this guy behind me was remarking how shitty the experience was for him.  I couldn’t tell if he was an op or an undercover.  That’s why I always stay measured and positive in my responses to people i don’t know in public.  I said Chicago as a city made 3.2 million in sales the first day.  Colorado as a state in 2014 made 1 million in taxable revenue.  There aren’t very many places to purchase right now.  So if you believe in taxation with representation I think the future looks bright.  The medical dispensary does not sell flower right now to reserve for its medical patients.  I believe that’s fair.  I also believe it’s not a good idea to abuse the medical system when recreational is getting its feet on the ground.  I also know big Marijuana exists and lives in a mansion outside of the city.  Illinois has been fairly good about being mindful of the social justice aspect of the transition.  But things are still a bit messy and deceptively capitalist.  I bought a small jar of candies to try.  You could only buy one.  It doesn’t really change much in my situation.  It does give me options.  It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t act responsibly.  The ambiguity is still there.  It’s in running distance.  It’s in a weird industrial medical district about a mile from my house.  I run past the FBI building to get there.  I flicked the sign off yesterday without a second thought.  They should already know where I live by now.  I’ve been on the same schedule for years.  And frankly I’m through taking shit from anyone from here on forward.  I’m sure there’s no hard feelings.  Just hard candy.  Life in Chicago for me has been harder than normal.  I stop complaining and started living it.  I don’t go out and yet everyone knows who I am.  I should rephrase it that I don’t go out to clubs.  I don’t drink anymore.  New Year’s was pretty quiet.  Most of my friends spent them with their significant others.  I spent New Year’s day throwing out trash.  People keep saying my space feels larger than it did.  I bought another larger litter box for my cat.  She hops out of it now like a princess.  If someone were to show up at my door without notice it wouldn’t be a big deal.  If the love of my life simply teleported into my living room I’d be ready for them.  But really finding stability in a chaotic world is hard for anyone.  There’s people that find stability boring and they probably don’t read anything of what I write.  I walk outside of this apartment and it’s a little like Pulp Fiction on overload sometimes.  I’m a little less overwhelmed by all of it but it is exhausting.  Which is why I spend more time on my home and making it more livable.  It feels a lot more like New York these days.  Which I’ll be back to near my birthday.  I haven’t celebrated it really for years.  I got a call from an alderman wishing me well in New York last year during fashion week.  Truth be told I hardly ever leave our political ward.  Just like I don’t spend my time where it’s not appreciated.  

A ward is a local authority area, typically used for electoral purposes.  You can probably apply the same thinking to brand loyalty.  But being more mindful of how and where you spend your time and money can yield interesting results.  I do think people worry less about me these days.  The idea of being too risky can make a lot of people uneasy.  It can also attracts some real shit shows.  Just like our president tried to push brand America, there’s something to be said of brands New York and Chicago.  I might even stretch it to include Los Angeles and Oakland.  But the truth is Chicago has become far more diverse than I had ever expected it to become.  For all the talk of murder and guns, our homicide rate is down for the third year in a row.  I live in Pilsen which is a predominantly hispanic neighborhood.  Chinatown is right next to us.  So is the medical district.  I walk all over the place on foot.  I never really feels unsafe.  Sometimes I feel bothered.  On my block people mind their own business.  But you have to be approachable.  And you have to adapt.  Then there’s the trick of knowing when to walk away.  If it sounds maddening and frustrating it is.  But I don’t really show it.  People keep talking about finesse and how somehow I need more of it.  And then people keep stealing my style and ideas and pretending I don’t exist.  Everyone except a small pocket of resistance that likes to wear pink gear around me.  It’s like I operate in my own little area of authority.  I always call it an aura of accountability.  I’ve made some sacrifices in my life to be a good person and get passed over.  But these days I feel like people understand the logic of why.  That being said people are still intimidated by me.  I wonder sometimes if that’s my own fault.  I do have a lot of bullshit to navigate.  People never seem to leave me alone.  Often I imagine I’m just some character in a movie when I leave the house.  Not like the lead role.  I blend into the background.  I have my role and my lines.  I don’t veer too much away from the NPC dialog tree.  I stick to the main quest line and grind my reputation with hidden factions.  I also play a lot of World of Warcraft on the side.  I can’t say that life totally sucks although I really wish I could share it with someone.  I kind of already do.  Why would I still be writing if I didn’t?  I don’t know what any of it means.  I’m completely in the dark about everything.  Everything except my finances and mental peace.  Staying in between the lines and not crossing them is tricky.  Especially when people step on your toes every chance you get.  I spent a lot of time making a space for myself where the only toes getting stepped on are my own.  Mostly by my cat.  She adds a lot to the space.  I feel less angsty and a little less bored.  Today I felt inspired enough to write about it.  Probably won’t check in for a couple of weeks.  Just going to lock myself up in this ward and play it safe.  There’s enough politics here to keep me busy without worrying about the rest of the world’s sovereignty and secret wars.  <3 Tim

[askderynsharp]

Prince Aleksander Ferdinand of Hohenberg and Midshipman Dylan Sharp have been my ultimate otp to end all otps since I first read Leviathan by Scott Westerfeld in the eighth grade. 

This could be because they exist in one of the coolest examples of biopunk meets steampunk I’ve ever experienced. 

It could be because the one of the pair is a subtextual transman so instrumental to my own gender expression that I named myself after him. 

But I think that out of everything, its because the romantic aspect manages to be the center of attention without subtracting quality from the plot. 

The reason that I’m so invested in these two more then anything else in the series is because the book isnt about anything else. Scott Westerfeld seems pretty open about the fact that Leviathan is supposed to be a young adult romance with the backdrop of characterature of the great war. But unlike so many romantic stories, especially those geared towards young adults, Scott uses the dual narrative to expand on both of the lead’s experience. The story could have very easily been Alek’s alone, while a major player in the world Dylan’s point of view wasn’t completely necessary if the intention was ever going to be Alek getting his throne in the end. 

The same goes the other way, if it were just a story of a transman’s developing gender identity, we wouldn’t have any reason to hear from Alek. Both Alek and Dylan could easily have been shoved into a ‘supporting character’ role, but they weren’t.

Simply put, Dylan and Alek are in a love story where neither of them are love interests. They’re both player characters, people we see inside the heads of. We spend the entirety of the first book getting to know them as individuals before they even meet, we see their interactions in a non-romantic light for the first few chapters, and the romance doesn’t start to bloom until it makes sense based on what we know of the characters.

Dylan doesn’t just think Alek is hot and decide he likes him just because outta all the men on the ship theres just something about the one that happens to be the other main character (*cough* kaider *cough*)

The reason he likes Alek is because they shared a very intimate and emotionally charged scene together that strengthens their friendship and ends with with a physical embrace. Its kinda like that trope where a kid goes to a party and then sits on a patio and talks with a complete stranger about life for an hour and is convinced they’re totally in love by the end of it. 

Even if this exact scenario has never happened to you, you can see how someone so young ,and in Alek’s case vulnerable would develop a little bit of a crush

But even then, its just an infatuation at first. Something dumb and stupid that Dylan dismisses as such. It’s not till they share ANOTHER couple of emotionally charged and intimate moments in Behemoth that Dylan starts to take his crush more seriously, and only in Goliath does Dylan stop dismissing his feelings altogether. There is time devoted to Dylan coming to terms with the fact that maybe the crush is a bigger deal then it probably should be, and that he cant make it go away by telling himself that its a bad idea. 

The Leviathan Series is kinda a double edged sword to me. It is a love story, but done so well people dont think its a love story. When I talk other fans about it being a love story, they insist that it isnt. Its an adventure story because there’s so much action. Its a drama because the characters struggles don’t revolve around their relationship. It cant be a romance because there’s so much other stuff going on. But those elements dont mean its not a love story, those elements just mean its a competent one. 

There’s a reason that the last book closes on the romance coming to a fruition instead of the peace treaty signing. There’s a reason the bonus chapter is a fanservice one shot of them basically going to prom together. There’s a reason Goliath opens with the quote: “To everyone who loves a long secret romance, revealed at last.” 

Becoming emperor and ending the war wasn’t Alek’s destiny. Being an emperor at all is probably his ‘bad ending’ 

People make him incredibly uncomfortable, he cant take even the smallest criticism, sucks at anything to do with being in command, constantly doubts himself, and has a fundamental blind eye to gaging other people’s emotions. As a starting point the series could have easily made him overcome these things with an arc that would make him into an ideal leader, but they didnt go that rout because it wasnt important. 

The war was never the real plot of the book, but rather the setting. The lesson we learn by the end is basically that you have to let go of old ambitions sometimes and open yourself up to new ones. The new destiny that Alek made required him to abandon a throne he probably wouldnt have wanted in the long run. Dylan has to leave the Leviathan, but does so gladly because he understands that his destiny is fluid. Both of the main character arcs revolve around letting things go, and their mutual attraction is what pushes them to understand that. The priority of the series has always been the romance.

The fact that we think its not a romance story because the plot and characters manage to stand on their own is rather telling about the level of quality we expect in the genre. I think by calling Leviathan a love story it demands that other love stories take the time and effort Leviathan did to flesh out its world and characters before trying to get us invested in their relationship.

 I think that its incredibly pessimistic to say that if a romance story manages to execute other elements well it no longer counts as a romance. As if to say that romance as a narrative theme is so shitty that you need to dum everything else down to properly appreciate it. 

So often I see people praising books solely because there’s no romance in them, or because the romance has some new dumb twist that makes it not like other romances. Boy meets girl can be interesting on its own if boy and girl have names you can remember and personalities that you want to cheer for. Just because Leviathan is cool doesnt mean its not romantic.  

I’ve made no secret about my issues with the Lunar Chronicles narrative, but at least in the trainwreck of truly ludicrous cause and effect, it puts its characters first and foremost and uses the setting to its greatest advantage. It takes the time to explain why they do the things they do, why they like what they like, and even if the outcomes of their decisions are improbable, they still feel earned because the author makes sure to let you know why the plan would work in her world as opposed to ours. 

Saying that The Lunar Chronicles isnt a love story is insulting to the work. You dont read those books for the sci-fi or the plot. The plot’s a joke and the sci-fi is terrible. The world makes absolutely no sense and couldn’t exist anywhere within our reality. Not only is the science impossible, but identical to the foundation of any cyberpunk setting with even the smallest bit of thought put into the way shit works. (one example includes an evil mistress who doesnt give a enough of a shit about her pet hacker to supply regular haircuts, health inspections, or clean water but was kind enough to install artificial gravity in her satellite prison and keep it running even when she herself isnt aboard.) But the rivalries and friendships between the factions are unarguably excellent, and the obvious priority of the author when she was writing these books. 

And thats fine because she does it well, and if our mass perception of the quality of romance is any indication, its hard to do romance well. She is celebrated for doing the romance so well. 

So why cant romances that manage to do both be celebrated as romances? Why do we have to demean the YA romance genre to praise the YA romance genre? 

I meant for this post to be like a paragraph, mod out. 

#dylek #aleksander hohenberg #dylan sharp

[ryanonwrasslin-blog]

The Wrestling Optimist - March 30, 2017 - Wrestlemania Preview!!! Part 1

Welcome to my weekly, mostly optimistic, look at the wonderful world of professional wrestling. This came about because I’m working my hardest to stop being such a miserable smark, and this column is my best effort at both keeping myself honest and funneling out the various thoughts I have on wrestling. For the most part, this will be a WWE-themed piece every week, and it’s still evolving, but for now I think I’ve found a solid format. I urge you to join me in being a happier wrestling fan, whatever that may mean to you!

Theme of the Week

Mania is upon us! And the crowd goes mild! Rather than do a typical review of the shows this week, I’m going to focus my efforts on Wrestlemania for two reasons. 1) The go-home shows don’t have a whole lot to offer (Raw in particular), and even the good stuff is tied so heavily into Mania that it works better to just write one big piece. 2) I mean, it’s Mania. Why would I look backward? This is one of the more exciting times of the year, and certainly the most high-profile. I have a lot of thoughts about this year’s card, so let’s just dive right in, shall we?

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royale

The AMBAR or the ‘Dre, however you want to abbreviate it, has become a fun staple of Mania and an easy way to get everyone on the card. I also like that it’s building a nice legacy of winners with Cesaro, Big Show, and Baron Corbin the three winners to-date. We already have around 30 people confirmed for this event, and I imagine there will be a fun surprise or two, though no one of serious consequence. 

To me, barring an enormous surprise, there are only two possible entrants that could win this thing. And honestly, there’s really only one:

Braun should win and almost certainly will win, and given how little booking there has been for most of these guys, I imagine he’ll do most of the eliminating. But the other, very slim possibility?

Sami Zayn

If it wasn’t WWE, I’d say there was a huge payoff and pop waiting to happen with Sami shockingly eliminating Braun at the end to win. It wouldn’t hurt Braun if you make him look dominant during the match, but it could be a really big moment for Sami. But this is WWE, so...

The Pick: Braun Strowman eliminates half the entrants himself, we end up with a final three of Braun, Big Show, and Sami because WWE couldn’t give a fuck about Smackdown (this is going to be a theme). Braun eliminates both and starts on a path to a world title in 2017.

Austin Aries vs. Neville for the Cruiserweight Championship

I’m going to get to this with the Smackdown Women’s match, but I struggle with the Pre-Show designation for matches that are supposed to matter. I see the argument that it gives them significantly more time and a chance to do something memorable. But I really can’t get past the appearance that being on the Pre-Show makes these matches appear lesser.

In this particular case, though, I’m fine with the Cruiserweight match being on the pre-show. It’s a new division, and this is a nice building block, and this is a match that people should be really into because of how good these two are in the ring.

The Pick: Neville retains after a really strong, energetic match because Neville should hold this belt for like 6-plus months, look incredible throughout, and really build the division’s prestige up. And Aries is a great character that can take the loss.

Smackdown Women’s Championship Six-Pack

Okay, now I’m going to get upset. This match has no goddamn business being on the pre-show, and WWE is shitty as hell for putting it there while they continue to hype up the Women’s Revolution or what the fuck ever they call it. Hell, the same night it was announced this was on the pre-show, Stephanie McMahon had the nerve to retweet a story about the evolved state of women in the WWE. The whole women’s division’s handling this year is garbage, because the dirty little secret is that there were several great storylines in the women’s division they could have built for Mania matches in place of some of the garbage we’ll see on the main card, but instead they decided to pile them all into two matches, with only one on the main card.

I’m going to avoid too much fantasy booking here, though, so I’ll just say that the Smackdown women have been treated as second class by WWE since the beginning of the brand split, and for no goddamn reason at all. You can’t just expect the division to become important on its own, you have to occasionally give them the rub. Becky and Alexa have been doing great work since the brand split, Mickie has been a breath of fresh air and honestly might be the best female worker on the main roster (give me her over Bayley 1000x over), and Naomi was primed for a big pop at Mania. Having that match at night in Orlando and having Naomi’s entrance in a dark stadium would have been HYPED. To be frank, they utterly blew it, and I honestly can’t forgive it.

I couldn’t believe how mad I was when I heard the official word. I’d been bracing myself for it, but goddamn I was still furious when I saw the announcement. It sucks, and shows that WWE, for all their catchphrases, is still full of shit when it comes to truly supporting women’s wrestling.

/end rant

The Pick: I honestly don’t know. On the main card I would have picked Naomi for sure. But here, I think I’ll pick Becky to win, but mostly just because Becky is my personal soft spot for all things wrestling. I’d pick her to pin Braun Strowman if the opportunity came.

Ladder Match for the Raw Tag Team Championships

While I’m fresh off of the SDL women’s rant, here’s another one to bitch about. Why are six dudes with ground-based offense in a ladder match? What, is Sheamus gonna jump off the first rung and brogue kick someone? This is a waste of what’s usually a fun match.

Of course, it doesn’t help that WWE has lost all interest in booking coherent tag divisions on the main roster. I honestly had to think for a moment to remember which team held the belts and I watch the show every week.

Why couldn’t we have given this to the SDL women and have Alexa hit a Twisted Bliss off a ladder, or get a Mick Kick knock someone off the second rung, or Naomi do something bonkers-ass good from the top of the thing?

The Pick: Ugh, I guess Enzo and Cass. This likely will lead the show, and Cesaro will probably do some cool offense because he’s f-ing Cesaro, but the rest of the match will be a letdown. Unless, of course, it turns into a certain Broken ladder match, in which case I’ll retract all complaints.

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

I’ve talked myself into this match so long as it ends with an AJ win and so long as the “Shane Spot” is cool but doesn’t damned near kill poor AJ. I won’t require it, but I do hope we get a long stretch of AJ just beating the shit out of Shane and dominating the match.

Hell, you can even use it to get to a Shane Spot. Have AJ beat Shane so bad he gets overconfident and leaves himself vulnerable to a Shane comeback that leads to Shane, like, climbing to the moon and jumping.

The Pick: AJ, obviously. Shane misses his big jump, AJ throws him through something dangerous, like a Wrestlemania sign, and the ref stops the match.

Kevin Owens vs. Chris Jericho for the US Championship

Easily the best told story in all of the Mania card. I’m excited for this match and I hope they’re smart enough to give it the necessary time. No one needs Shane/ AJ, Taker/ Reigns, or Trips/ Rollins to go 20+ minutes. Give this thing at least 15 in the ring and I fully expect it will turn out as the best match on the card by a lot.

The Pick: Owens wins in an all-time classic, and god willing, starts defending the US Title almost every Monday night.

Dean Ambrose vs. Baron Corbin for the Intercontinental Championship

When they were fighting with construction equipment backstage, I was excited for this match. I thought for certain that we’d be getting some ridiculous, fun, hardcore-style match that would see them fight backstage and let Ambrose do some of the bonkers stuff he wanted to do with Lesnar last year.

But since then, WWE has farted around with this feud and it now seems like it’s just a regular singles match. What a drag. Ambrose is best when he’s either in a blood feud or when he’s fighting outside of the ring. This feels like neither, and I’m worried this match might not be very good.

The Pick: Corbin wins for sure. WWE clearly likes the guy and wants to get him closer to the main event.

Triple H vs. Seth Rollins in an unsanctioned match

If it’s really unsanctioned, we shouldn’t be getting some over the top Trips entrance, right? Right? Oh, yeah, never mind. In all seriousness, Trips’ entrances at Mania are always among the high points of any show. I can’t even imagine what’s coming this year.

The real question this year is what happens with this unspoken faction that’s emerged with Trips, SmoJo, and KO. And seeing as how Samoa Joe isn’t booked anywhere else, there’s like a 99% chance he shows up in a big way here, right? But how does Rollins answer that? No matter how great you want Seth to look, you can’t expect him to beat SmoJo and Trips both. Are we in for a surprise on Seth’s side? I honestly can’t figure this one out, but I’m intrigued to see what they do.

The Pick: Seth wins, right? There’s no way Trips would put himself over. I think? I guess? Alright, yeah, if this faction is going somewhere, he might. Still, I’ll stick with Seth with some surprise help.

John Cena and Nikki Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse

Man, I’ve done the full pendulum with this one. At first, I was cringing when rumors were leaking out about this. And then Miz and Maryse did the work of a lifetime getting me excited by repeatedly wrecking Cena’s shit on the mic, culminating with Total Bellas Bullshit. But then, Cena’s return-fire promo on Smackdown Live last week smirked away all consequences of the feud and left me certain that this only ends one way.

The Pick: LOL Cena Wins. And probably not just win. I fear Cena is gonna show weakness for like a minute total, Nikki is gonna fuck Maryse’s shit up (even though Maryse was a pretty decent wrestler once upon a time) and these two are gonna win in the most insufferable way.

Elimination Match for the Raw Women’s Championship

Man, I’m nervous about this one, and about the Raw Women in general. This title has been inconsistent and overbooked since Summerslam and I’m worried this is going to be the culmination of that. Bayley has been, quite frankly, a botchy, nervous mess since her call-up and I don’t know that Wrestlemania is going to do anything to calm those nerves. Meanwhile, I’d guess we’re less than a week away from Sasha nailing a backstabber on Bayley and getting that heel turn, but in the meantime, Sasha’s been weird about this Bayley thing.

Nia has been fine in limited moments, but I don’t know what to think of her in a Mania match. It’s really going to come down to how much Charlotte and Sasha’s instincts can carry this thing. I worry this will end up being a letdown.

The Pick: Bayley retains if only so that we can get the Sasha heel turn.

Roman Reigns vs. The Undertaker

Ughhhhh. I just do not care about this one. Ideally, Reigns will pose and snarl over ‘Taker’s wrecked body, soaking in the boos from the crowd and flipping them the finger. Anything other than that, anything that keeps Reigns as a tweener or whatever the fuck alignment he is now, is going to suck.

The Pick: I guess Reigns, right? It’s hard to believe, and it’s honestly not going to do much for him, but Reigns ain’t losing, right?

Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt for the WWE Championship

That this isn’t the main event is lame. Lesnar and Goldie don’t give a fuck about WWE and in two years, I’d wager neither one will still be in the company. Orton has enough star power to merit a main event and that could do wonders for Wyatt’s stature.

Alas, we just have to know that it should be the main event. Though their prior encounter wasn’t much to get excited about, I have high hopes for this. They likely held back in their prior match given that they knew an alignment switch was coming.

As for the result, I’m torn. Wyatt just got the belt and could really use a longer reign to solidify himself. But Orton is Orton, and WWE has to like the thought of him anchoring Smackdown even if I’m nervous as hell about what they’ll do with him once this Wyatt business is concluded.

The Pick: Fuck it, I’m picking Wyatt. He needs a Mania win.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE Universal Championship

I remain surprised that the WWE fans haven’t started shitting on this in the build to Mania. At this point, it probably won’t happen, though if the match stretches on for too long, it’s a distinct possibility.

But WWE is smart. This match won’t get even eight minutes, I predict, and half of that will be spent either glaring at each other or waiting for their competitor to get back to their feet.

The Pick: Lesnar ducks an early spear and the tide turns quickly against Goldberg. Maybe he gets a few clubbing shots in, but Lesnar wins in very strong fashion. And here’s hoping Lesnar doesn’t disappear until Summerslam afterward.

That’s it for this week. Here’s hoping Mania is at least tolerable! And hey, if nothing else, Raw and Smackdown should be fucking LIT next week. Until then...

#WWE #Wrestling #Wrestlemania

[derkastellan]

Observations: Buck Rogers

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century was many things - a brillant hard scifi RPG boxed set based on a modified AD&D core, a set of mediocre expansion books, one superb and one “more of the same” computer game, a series of novels, and even a comic (which I never checked out), a marketing failure, the supposed reason TSR went under, and even allegedly a blatant attempt by a TSR exec to fill the family coffers through licensing their own IP to TSR.

It was also the first RPG I bought and read in English, somewhere between 1990 and 1991. The boxed set was full of splendor for me. There was a lot of goodies in that box - every planet had various factions, variant humans, and gene-modified races. Most fascinating for me were actually the outer planets, Jupiter and Saturn and their various moons. The game shined. I loved it.

Even before that I probably put my hands on the Commodore 64 release of Buck Rogers: Countdown to Doomsday. After Pool of Radiance and Hillsfar this was my third computer game based on the Gold Box engine. It told an epic story about saving the solar system from a doomsday weapon that could sterilize a whole planet by harnessing the sun’s energy into special crystals harvested on Mercury (as revealed by the accompanying novel series, the first part of which, First Power Play, was actually included with the game.) 

The computer game and the novels both reveal problems with the series: People didn’t know how to write for the game. I mean, writing is up to professional standards, no doubt, entertaining and such. But wherever you look, there’s goofups as everybody envisions the game world different and modified it to suit their own needs.

These can be minor... For example the computer game was based on the Gold Box engine and so combat featured heavily in the game. In order to provide an upgrade path of weapons like in the AD&D games, they invented something similar to the +1, +2, +3 boni from AD&D - equipment could be standard, martian (+1), venusian (+2), mercurian (+3), or lunar (+4), mostly adhering to the idea of quality as inherent in the game world. Except this idea, IIRC, was not present in the (a bit spartan) game core. At the same the highly detailed saving throw system that sets the races apart never made it much into the game, at least not in interesting ways, and neither did most of the boxed set’s races. 

This was probably owed to scheduling conflicts when developing the game. I mean, when Pool of Radiance came out in 1988, the AD&D rules core had been stable for quite a while and all books published. Buck Rogers, however, was more like a marketing offensive, trying to push out everything at once to keep consumer interest high. Except... they were not capable as a company to pull it off.

The boxed set laid down a hard scifi world, but several of the expansion books contradict this. Telepathy is introduced both in a Uranus colony and the Inner Worlds expansion books and there attributed to... rats. In the first case, telepathy is a result of extremely well-developed off-the-charts intelligence and still rather limited. In another case, some sort of engineered beings living like a spider colony on an asteroid have a hive mind (and hence, some sort of telepathic connection) which contradicts the requirements of the first (because they’re no super-smart). And the rats? That’s just classical fantasy writing because authors from TSR knew that stuff. The rules for creating genetically modified creatures established that you if you want humanoid thinking capabilities you have to start from a human brain, not a dog or rat brain. Similarly, they talk about things that occur in nature. And third, they talk about the fact that random radiation does not produce much interesting traits. All three violated by Mercury’s telepathic rats. This is the sort of quality of writing you get in the expansion books where you can see an illustration of astronauts in space suits pushing mining carts on rails over an asteroid surface... There was a sort of pulp influence here.

But it wasn’t just the source and expansion book authors. When Buck Rogers frees humanity from RAM’s oppression by eliminating their key asset, a space station controlling all Earth traffic, they immediately sunk the ship when they declared that the station has energy shields. Does. Not. Exist. In. The. Game. And is not hard scifi as laid down in the boxed set. To make matters worse, the fighter craft defending the station patrol inside the shield. Err... what? Too many writer gimmicks in one go. 

The series then sprawls immediately into an epic, solar-system wide conflict between Venus and Mars. The stakes of the series immediately escalate into the biggest scale possible, the same being true in the computer games (destruction on a planetary level), its accompanying novels (same story), or the last novel series (have it, did not read it, apparently inner worlds against Plutonian nano bots). Once you have gone so big, you can’t go back.

Also, the novels randomly expand the concepts of the game. There is this near-perfect surveillance which people constantly try to fool that determines a lot of the pulp fiction writing in First Power Play trilogy. (Which also has the great pulp writing technique of telling us that people are so smart instead of letting them do actually smart things. Justifiably it was printed on the pulpiest paper I had seen up to that date, not having been exposed to the American mass market for cheap novels before. But I digress...) So, characters constantly do some sort of shadowboxing to fool people watching on behalf of other people, creating pages and pages of people interacting with their own paranoia where you can’t really tell if they’re actually followed or observed until two or three chapters it is inevitably revealed that they were ... followed or observed. Sigh. 

Please note that the original boxed set did not establish this. Pirates needed intel from moles and informants to operate. The game was kind of written to have a low tech approach to computers, which may have made it anachronistic but interesting. It was a world where humans were needed to operate levers. Where fast computers weighing tons where barely good enough to host a copy of an AI without it downgrading itself. Where no matter how good your ship’s computer is a skilled astrogator can still plot a better course.

Total surveillance might be realistic, but creates a Shadowrun or cyberpunk style world with endless feints and deception attempts and paranoia, where the boxed set established a can-do and push-the-button-and-live-by-your-choices world. Let’s say the author had a better grasp of the future than the authors of the game, but their narrative (and the fact that space is biiiiiiig) make for a much better game. The big world of the game puts the emphasis on humanoids - on traitors, whistle blowers, on secret signals being sent, on a smart guy directly shadowing another vessel, on homing beacons - and makes it all about the people, not the tech. It was, in a sense, a people-centric action game with lots of factions and worlds. And that was really great about it. That you could hide out in some dive in some half-forgotten lunar trojan bottle space station without it instantly becoming another confrontation with RAM’s special agents following you anywhere. This world seemed big. There are a lot of space to hide for everyone. Compare the world of the novels. It’s like the internet. The world becomes small. It no longer really has a frontier. It becomes boring.

Not the only time they dropped the ball. The book about genetically modified organisms basically puts the cost of engineering so high, it basically says there’s no more designs than these. Which is the most boring thing to possibly say in what constitutes the game’s monster manual! Until that book was released, the game (and its companion computer games) basically operated under the premise that there was a vast amount of genetically modified creatures and actual ecosystems constructed out of them. Well, scratch that.

In the end, from a purely gaming point of view, these are huge quality issues. You don’t know what to expect from one book to the next you buy. From great material to huge letdowns, sometimes in the same book. Lots of contradictions noticeable to any informed reader who likes the system. I think a lot of people were ordered into writing for the system and it shows. Outside the main boxed set there is a lot of mixed quality stuff.

And these authors did not know what to write. I mean, one of the established fixed facts is that humanoids not specifically gene-modified for deep space need the expensive Gravitol drug that can only be manufactured from a plant that grows in the Venusian lowland jungles. This is a setting-defining fact that actually gives Venus some sort of separate identify and also spices up its factions and struggles. Guess what? One of the adventure modules released for the system is about artificially produced Gravitol. For lack of a proper hook, the author simply took a setting fact and made an adventure about changing it. 

And frankly: That sucks! Big time. It shows the amount of intellectual laziness and lack of engagement people had when writing for the system because so often they simply violate the setting premises or turn them into cheap plot-powering gizmos. There are few strong, character-carried stories in comparison. It’s always about the MacGuffin. Always a wild goose chase. And almost always about things that alter the solar system forever. (Which makes the setting information a joke, because sometimes centuries- or at least decades-old setting facts can be negated in about a year of playing inside the game world.)

And seldomly the consequences of these changes are taken into account. Camouflage and sensor disruption like on the Krait fighter or Black Barney’s ship made it harder to detect and effectively engage those ships in the boxed set. In the novel series detailing Earth’s liberation this makes the Krait undetectable and the new super-weapon that completely decides the fate of two major planetary armadas. Buck Rogers and Killer Kane command each one squadron of them, making this personal instead of a real struggle of fleets. But! RAM has the designs, RAM can make more. Within a year RAM would dominate the solar system with its new fighter fleet, tops! And that’s what lazy writing does... completely ignore the consequences. The author needed a game-changer to write a story both epic and about a hero and a villain. But then the game. Does. Not. Change. And that’s why it’s pulp fiction. Facts are introduced but do not matter.

If you want to give Buck Rogers a chance, stick to the boxed set. It’s high quality, it’s solid, it’s a major piece of good scifi RPG writing, it’s a real accomplishment. Ignore the novels, ultimately. Ignore most of the expansion books and supplements. You will find a good game both scifi and having this nice retro feel. I dig it a lot. And I feel bad about how little love it ultimately received, both from TSR authors and the RPG scene.

#buck rogers #tsr #old school