#literally writing this from bed

[actual-changeling]

"Joel?"

Ellie shifts slightly so she can look up at him, cheek squished against his biceps. The movie is long over, but the best part of the night is dozing off pressed against Joel while he reads or whittles away at something. Sometimes he even reads out-loud, voice rhythmic and soft, lulling her to sleep. He glances down at her and lowers his book, arm coming up to wrap around her.

"Yeah, baby?"

She chews on her lip, trying to find the words in her tired mind, and Joel's thumb gently rubbing her shoulder is the opposite of helpful, her eyelids fluttering shut.

"What's Tommy, like, to me? He's your brother but I don't. I don't know where I fit."

Joel stays silent for a litlte bit, seemingly properly thinking about her question, and she curls up tighter against his chest, pressing her face into his shirt somewhere below his neck. She's tired enough to fall asleep like this even with the lights on, and she chose this moment exactly because of that, knowing that the fatigue will prevent her from freaking out too much; so far, it's doing its job.

"Tommy is whatever you want him to be, babygirl, there's no pressure."

"I know", she sighs, answer kind in his typical Joel-fashion, but useless.

"I just don't know what to call him, to other people, I mean."

Explaining her relationship with Joel to the other children and teachers at school was already a task, and while the latter didn't question her answers, she's given up on trying to convince her classmates that Joel isn't her actual dad. The spark for this conversation had been an encounter with one of the newer arrivals, whom Tommy had introduced her to as 'my brother's kid', which, sure, probably the easiest way of putting it. But-

"Someone called him my uncle, and he didn't correct them. I don't know if-"

"If he's okay with everyone calling him that?"

Ellie nods, glad that he understands what she is getting at, and he holds her a little tighter as he pulls her further into his lap. Joel presses a kiss to her temple, her forehead, then her hair before settling with his chin resting on the top of her head, his hands rubbing soft circles into her back.

"You're my kid," he says plainly, "which makes you a part of his family, and since he's my brother, yeah, I guess uncle is accurate. I don't think he minds."

"You sure?"

The last thing she wants to do is upset either of them, and she and Tommy have actually been getting along quite well, bullying Joel and doing all the things he doesn't want either of them to do - in short, making him go grey twice as fast as before.

"Very sure."

(He doesn't want to tell her just yet that Tommy has been calling himself her uncle since day one, introducing Ellie as his niece in turn.)

"Alright."

Ellie wraps her arms around his waist when Joel lowers them onto the couch, safely trapped between him and the backrest, and she holds on tight even while she drifts off, sleep coming easily and gently, closing their eyes with a gentle touch. He will carry her to bed later, enjoying the opportunity to simply feel her breathing and alive against him for now.

"G'night, Joel." (Saying it doesn't sound right, but she doesn't have to, they can both sense it. Her friends calling him that no longer sounds quite as wrong.)

"Sleep tight, baby." (They all know, and Tommy is intentionally driving the point home, but he doesn't need to tell her; she knows. They both do.)

That's my niece, Ellie.

Oh, she's my brother's daughter.

Joel is her dad, idiot.

Must run in the Miller family.

Family, they all know, is way more than just shared DNA. It's the people you trust, who will keep you safe.

It's everyone you come home to at the end of a long, long day.

#alex writes tlou #the last of us #tlou #joel and ellie #joel miller #ellie williams #tommy miller #ellie and tommy #miller family #literally writing this from bed #my seroquel is kicking in full force n my vision is definitely somewhat blurry #so excuse any mistakes pls ill fix it tomorrow #just hadt o get this one out #love to all my mutuals #dying crying throwing up thinking about these characters #uncle tommy strikes again

[losersimonriley]

At the tail end of a long, grueling mission that had them run around half of Eastern Europe, Laswell had given Ghost and Soap three days of leave before they'd be flying back home. She'd even booked them a hotel in a tiny spa town for two nights. Yet even though they arrived early in the day, Soap was still exhausted enough from the mission to just let Ghost handle the check in.

Something was off, though, when Ghost returned to him. He could tell by the square set of his shoulders and the slight frown on his brows. Even without his usual balaclava, his hood and face mask hid most of Ghost's expressions from inexperienced viewers.

"Good news: Laswell's paying for two dinners each at the in house restaurant. It's supposedly very good," Ghost reported.

"And the bad news?"

Ghost subtly shifted his weight. "Only had rooms with double beds left."

"You mind sharing?" Soap raised his eyebrows.

"Nah. Thought you might."

"Nah. Let's get up to our room then. I'm right knackered from the trip."

Ghost rolled his eyes at the phrasing, but didn't comment on it. When Soap punched his shoulder to signal go time, he obediently followed to the elevator.

As forewarned, the room only had one bed. But at least it was the softest, most cloud like bed Soap'd ever had the pleasure of sitting on. He wanted to immediately lie down and never get up. First things first, though.

"Mind if I take the first shower?"

Ghost shrugged. "Feel free. Thought I'd have a look around town. Find the spa. Try the public fountains. Look at the local attractions. Tourist shite."

"Have fun. I'll cover home base while you're out on recon, then."

Ghost huffed out a small laugh as he turned to leave the room.

Soap hopped into the shower for a quick wash, dried himself off with extremely fluffy towels and then got himself comfortable in the bed. He'd planned on a quick nap, but when he woke up again, it was because someone had chucked a paper bag at his head. It smelled deliciously like baked goods.

"Got you lunch, Sleeping Beauty."

"I'd be so mad at you for waking me like that," Soap said as he sat up and bit into the bun that'd smacked him in the ear. "If this weren't so good."

"Up for an afternoon trying all the healing springs? The park is twenty minutes from here and has at least ten different fountains with different properties. Maybe one can cure stupid."

"Maybe one can cure being a dick."

"You'll never know."

They spent the afternoon together trying the water from every single fountain in the park. It had clearly been built sometime in the nineteenth century, Soap pointed out, citing the architecture and decorations. The water was various kinds of salty. More than half the fountains were claimed to have uranium in the water, a fact that led both Ghost and Soap to come up with more and more outrageous movie mutations caused by too much of the spa water. Dinner at the hotel's restaurant was fantastic. The chef didn't skimp on the fat, nor on the herbs and spices.

Soap had almost forgotten about the bed in their room by the time they got ready for bed. "I can still sleep on the floor, LT."

"Why?"

"Dunno." Soap shrugged. "Thought it might be weird to you."

"'s not." Ghost took off his boots, stripped down to his undershirt and briefs before he slipped under the covers. "Fuck. 's like a cloud in here."

Quickly, before either of them could change their mine, Soap undressed and got into bed as well. His hammering heart forced him to keep a fair distance between himself and Ghost.

"Figured you'd be a cuddler," Ghost mused.

"That an offer?"

"Mh." Under the covers, Ghost reached out to pull Soap closer to him. "Don't mind if it's you."

Soap swallowed. He let himself be pulled against Ghost, head resting on a broad chest, hand over a heart that was beating it's staccato rhythm in tandem with Soap's own.

"G'night, Simon," Soap whispered, not trusting his mouth to say more.

"Night, Johnny."

When he woke up the next morning with his Johnny sprawled out on top of him, with his breath hot against his bare neck, Ghost was immensely glad he'd convinced the hotel clerk to give them a room with a double bed. Even if it was just for one more night, he'd treasure this closeness for the rest of his life.

This felt like getting tucked into a comfy warm hotel bed of my very own <3 I hope everyone else enjoys this cloud bed as much as I do god BLESS

#ghostsoap #I love their banter especially ghost’s one liners my god #“maybe one can cure stupid” AKDHSHA PLEASE #cuddling ghoap my absolute beloved #ghost you sly devil you #thank you for this treasure I’m sorry it took so long to answer I was waiting until I had good quiet time to read it <333 #LITERALLY the post from the other day about writing characters just getting to sleep in a comfy bed oh my god 😭❤️🫶 #fics #asks #long post

[wanderingblindly]

Excess (Charles Leclerc/Max Verstappen, 3.4K words, oneshot)

“You bite me,” He’s smiling now, like Max’s silence is as good as an oath. “And I’ll bite back. Deal?” Max’s eyes flick to the battleground on Charles’s body. “And this usually works for you?” Without hesitation, Charles brings his blade to his own hand. He slices across his index finger, letting the blood slowly pool, before holding it under Max’s nose like a taunt. “I’m too good to pass up.”

Read Here!

please note that this is rated EXPLICIT for sexual content and general rancid vibes

ever wanted to see vampire/human power play? With a knife?

#Literally where did this come from and why did I write it right before bed #Antyways #Lestappen #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 rpf fic #f1 rpf #Excess

[snackhouse]

Live Free or Twi-Harder is consuming me like some kind of flesh eating parasite thank you @prettyflyshyguy for giving me this disease

Yes I used to be one of those supernatural fans and it haunts me to this day (I was 15 with no friends it was bound to happen)

There’s so many ideas I have on how to absolutely destroy these men (emotionally, physically and spiritually) don’t make me get The Tome don’t make me get The Tome don’t mak-

#I’ve literally been so sick this past week #I’ve just been lying in bed microwaving Dean in my mind #but any attempt to write about it has been shut down by a separate hyperfixation from my youth that has me by the balls #yes that is a picture of 17yo Snackary next to Misha Collins #he was quite nice! #supernatural #spn #live free or twiharder #this is both a shitpost and a cry for help

[becca-e-barnes]

this for subby!bucky 😵‍💫

There’s nothing hotter than a man moaning his way through a make out session and grinding his hard-on against your body, idgaf. Men moaning in general fucking floors me 😵‍💫

But I really like the thought of him starting off thinking he's in control of himself. Not necessarily in control of you, he just thinks he's pretty composed, all things considered. The featherlight kisses have his heart beating just a little faster than normal but it's manageable.

It all just gets away from him though. The tiny pecks turn into tender, deeper kisses and your hands start to wander. Those kisses inevitably develop into a kind of frantic passion that he has difficulty keeping up with. His brain goes a little foggy and nothing else matters except getting more of you and getting it now.

He loses himself in the feeling of you so entirely that he hardly notices he's been trying to ease the throbbing need in his own cock. "O-oh fuck." He groans, eyes closed, cheeks flushed, lips slick and dick twitching in his pants.

"We can go slower if this is too much for you, baby." You whisper softly, keeping your face close to his. God, he's beautiful like this and you know he'd whimper if you told him that.

"No, God. I don't need you to go slower. I need more." There's no shame in those blown out pupils when his eyes flutter open. He's not embarrassed by his own need. Instead, there's a complete trust that you'll take care of him because you always do. There's no judgement or reservation between you both because there simply doesn't need to be.

"I can do that." You laugh quietly, tugging him towards you so your lips can crash together with the exact same intensity as before and it never fails to amaze you that he melts into your touch so entirely.

You feel how hard he is and in truth, it would be difficult not to given how he's grinding it against your body with more purpose than before. His mouth is so hungry, never managing to taste enough of you and in no time, it's trailed down your neck, sucking at your skin while his frantic grind continues.

"Good boy, Buck. That's it, rub yourself silly on me." You encourage, drinking in his pathetic groan. That permission almost makes him wish he could cum in his pants.

"You're like a puppy, aren't you? So eager. You just can't help yourself." Your hand drifts downwards, rubbing over the bulge in the front of his sweatpants and you feel him absentmindedly thrusting into your touch. He's a moaning mess, babbling and begging, lost the lust that's now making the fingertips of his flesh hand tingle and his head spin.

#asks answered <3 #anon #becca writes spice #sub!bucky #One more minor inconvenience today #is quite possibly all it would take #for me to burst into tears #Just one #i had an idea stuck in my head all day for some angsty poetry #And I wrote it and it was even more fucking tragic than I expected #over something that I'm literally not even sad about #it just has a lot of potential to be something that someone else in the same situation might be sad about? #So idk where it all came from #And now I can’t go to something I was really excited about #bc it’s over my mum’s 50th birthday #i think I’m just going to lie in bed and not move for the rest of the night #Maybe if I lie still enough I’ll dissolve

[onlyhuis]

screams and cries

#[💒] — june.txt #ik junkissed is effectively dead atp so should i start posting my sfw fluff on here #they arent as well received as smut so i never write it anymore but its my fav :( i miss writing cute cuddly things #i need him so bad literally a single hug from him would fix me #i miss junkissed and being known for fluff that used to be my niche 😔 smut is fun but deep at heart i am a softie #anyway minghao in my bed snuggling me and smooching me when. pls i need him

[northern-passage]

genuine question for my fellow trans people:

when you talk about or refer to your younger self, how do you do it? i’m transmasc and personally i kinda alternate between calling my younger self a girl or a kid.

this is for something i’m writing, and i’m really curious to hear some other opinions/perspectives.

#the character im writing is a trans woman so i would love to hear some perspectives/opinions from anyone willing to share #or other binary trans people #as someone who is nb i kinda go back and forth about how i like to be called #i dont mind if certain people called me a girl now #but wouldnt like it if just Anyone called me a girl. if that makes sense #and in general i do prefer more ‘masculine’ terms for myself #but i was wondering how others may feel about it especially irt your younger self vs now #also i am literally in bed to go to sleep so i won’t be responding right away mdksjjf #personal

[iwasbored777]

See this is EXACTLY why Marinette was afraid to confess to Adrien

To everyone who kept saying that her reason to keep her feelings for herself was stupid, now you see why she never did it.

Adrien has always made it clear that Marinette is just a friend to him. They were friends and he was in love with someone but he made it clear many times that it was not her. And eventually that girl was Kagami, and Marinette knew that. So knowing that Adrien is in love with someone else, she couldn't confess, not because she thought she stands no chance but because she was afraid that he will break her heart. Because obviously if he doesn't love her, telling him that she loves him won't change his mind. It will only break her heart.

And she said it right before this thing was about to happen to her, unfortunately.

In Elation, she and Chat Noir love each other. And it's not the same as with Adrien because Chat Noir is 100% open about his feelings, he told her many times that he loves and they kissed and they were happy and it was all going well, until he said they can't date aka broke her heart. Everything worked out fine and she was so happy that she can date the boy she loves FINALLY after so long but then, even though he had a good reason, he rejected her. She got stood up. And that's what broke her. She was trying so hard to avoid being broken hearted from Adrien, who wasn't in love with her at the same time back then, that she didn't see it coming this time because Chat Noir confessed and took her out on a date and kissed her and THEN broke up with her. Which was ten times worse than rejecting her right away. So either way she experienced heartbreak.

And let's not forget how Luka broke up with her too because she is Ladybug and she didn't have enough space for him in her life.

And she finally got tired of it. It wasn't just the heartbreak that drew her over the edge but also how being Ladybug is taking away everything from her. But being Ladybug isn't the thing that actually hurt her so much. This was the final straw that nearly got her akumatized.

No wonder she was so unhappy and unable to understand why that happened because he gave her everything and then changed his mind right after. He said it feels like taking advantage of a fan when in reality she was already taken advantage of and it resulted in nothing. She opened up to the boy like this and gave it all for the first time and it backfired. So of course this girl is terrified of saying how she feels and she's going to feel even worse now because of this.

And of course she thinks boys really don't want her, because she felt like this three times already. They either break up with her because she is Ladybug or they break up with her because she is Marinette or they don't love her because she is Marinette. And she feels stupid for just trying to love someone because it can't happen. It just can't happen. She's not so lucky.

She took cataclysm to her heart three times already. Imagine how afraid of love she's going to be after this episode.

#I literally teared up from just writing this #Got out of my bed to write it down and find screenshots and all #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #Ladybug #Marinette analysis #Ml analysis #ml glaciator 2 #ml elation #Marinette deserves better #Marinette needs a hug

[blazingblorbos]

oh god. oh god. oh.. oh gosh. I didn't expect this so soon. I didn't expect this today, I've been busy with life related things so the HYV calendar is really unbeknownst to me, is this update really next week already?? where can I rant about this- whERe can I rant about this-

oh. I made a blog for that exact purpose ! OKAY—!

fuck. fuck me, dude holy-

FUCK.

the slightly worried look on Arle's face as Snezhevna is reaching out her hand, only for her face to seemingly revert back to cold and neutral once the camera actually focuses in on her. Her tone is cold but her words are reassuring,,,,,,,,

ALSO GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. HOW GENTLY SHE HOLDS HER HAND.

the d o o r. the DOOR. THE FUCKING DOOR, CHAT. the slow opening at first, and once you can make out that it's certainly Arle's silhouette she shoves it fully open - both doors, both hands. incredibly attractive—. the FEAR in that man's eyes.

The crossed hands. We can't see her face but you know what expression she's making (it's not really an expression. it's neutral but you can feel it). THE FUCKING F E A R ON THAT MAN'S FACE.

Oh- she literally just grabbed him by the throat. Just like that- ! There's the expression. Oh, you feel it, alright. If you go frame by frame, you'll notice her eyes narrow in the slightest right before ->

POV: you're getting chocked out by Arlecchino, and that's actually the least of your worries. (my god she is beautiful).

I did not expect him to simply be thrown down to the ground and I ... d i d not expect her to step on his FACE. [insert gay masochistic joke here. you know the one]. Did not expect her to smile (this is the ONLY scene wherein we see her smile even slightly... huh...) *And the reason I say "I did not expect her to smile", is because with the momentum we were getting I thought she was straight up going to crush his throat, or stab him (hand, weapon or otherwise). It looked like she was digging the forefoot of her shoe into the guys head and not the... .. y'know deadly fucking heel, so that.. confused me. (and the sound when she supposedly stomped his head in did NOT sound all that impactful) but ANYWAYS I digress-

I'm of course assuming more happened after the cut to black because . madam where did you get that bloodstain on you—

BLOODSTAIN ON HER FACE!?!?!? (more on this in a second)

Freminet??? Freminet feature ! (not Lyney or Lynette.. interesting). :(((( the poor boy sounds so,, desensitized. His father

holy shit quick intermission. After the mental chronological fuckfest that was "The Song Burning in the Embers" I don't think I can look at Arle and the HotH the same anymore because she's.. she's like not even 10 years older than them (?) it's insane this doesn't make any sense- ANYWAYS.

HIS FATHER comes back with what we later see to be real blood on her face. Tells him "I've acquired new funds". We know what that means... HE knows what that means!!, and the way WE - THE AUDIENCE - know that Freminet knows what it means is because the boy replies "Oh.. Okay.."

LIKE-! chat omg this is truly just routine for them,,,, Like out of the 3 siblings, Freminet always gave off the biggest child assassin vibe, but wow. To see that routine and desensitized nature of the HotH's line of work just,, splayed out in a Character Trailer is . wow. and the look in his eyes as he says it is- wow.

YEAH UHH BLOODSTAIN ON HER FACE??/ The lighting in this scene now is evidently less saturated. And it's just- oh my FUCKING GOD it does so many things:

the blood on Arle's face looks... dry. it doesn't look as fresh as you may expect which could mean many things. It could mean she spent,,, hella long in there with that guy doing what needed to be done. It could mean she took care to something else immediately after dealing with the guy (perhaps smth related to the children Snezhevna wanted to save). But regardless it means she didn't put in the effort to clean her face and hide what happened. OBVIOUSLY !!! that is so . obviously her style but to S E E IT IN MY GENSHIN IMPACT CHARACTER TRAILER it's- oh my god

it serves to highlight the really, truly, bleak nature of the scene now that we know plain and simple Arlecchino just killed a man. There's no subtext, there's no reading between the lines. The only thing that didn't happen is that we didn't see contact nor see a body. But, no sugarcoating, Arlecchino killed a man. No one is hiding it. You are not surprised. No one should be but damn.

and ofc it acts as a representation of Snezhevna dying...

because it seems like the saturation is back once the camera switches to looking at Snezhevna laying in bed.

And is it me, or does it look like Arle's allowing herself to actually display a tinge of worry in her expression this time? And also, EVER so slightly in her tone as well. You can feel it, it's gentler.

"Once I'm better I'll start my next mission.."

THIS. THIS!! IN SO MANY WAYS THIS!

OKAY. so bear with me. I haven't actually read any of the sibling's character stories yet, so there could be a LOT of info I'm missing but:

There's still a pretty thought-provoking conversation going on (in MY mind, at least) about just how intensely these children are being trailed to be soldiers for the Fatui. They're obviously in an environment that indoctrinates them into being soldiers of SOME kind, but I still don't know what kind of soldier that's supposed to be. Are they all ALWAYS extensions of the Fatui? Or are they more-so extensions of Arlecchino specifically..? Snezhevna was obviously trying to help those children she came across, and I'm assuming that happened on her latest mission, so was the mission for a charitable cause?? What was her next mission supposed to be?? Same line of work? Saving people? Or would it switch up and was she going to be sent to "take care of" (kill .) someone???

So I don't know whether to interpret that line as a hint of them being overworked and 1) feeling like they need to continue their work out of pure fear that they'll be deemed ineffective and useless... or 2) feeling like they need to continue their work out of a sense of loyalty and duty to the place that took them in and raised them. Or both..

and ofc the funeral scene. I can't say much more than what's already shown right on the screen.

and am I bugging? Or is the location of the grave....

#LONG post #first of all. I am kissing Genshin Impact's (HoYovere's entire) artstyle on the mouth. #second of all #Erin Yvette #oh my god Erin Yvette. #the 'My child...' line.. what if I literally blow up the world I'm going to explode #Arlecchino is drop dead gorgeous in this. That's a given but what kind of gay person would I be if I didn't say it anyway #it's always a given with their trailers. A l w a y s. #she's so drop dead handsome oh my god I fucking hate gender #blazingramble #holy shit new tag wtf #I try not to do these on here often but... #meh. my blog #I needed a place to write it down and I'm honestly getting self-conscious abt using my discord server #I say the kids at the HotH are desensitized 'cause like.. it's FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE that they DON'T know!!!! #they can ACT like they don't !!! sure! repression is very real and these kids are exposed to a LOT of trauma. Yes #but they are NOT FUCKING IGNORANT about it #the older ones at least; of course the younger they are the more likely they're sheltered from the Fatui's violent practices #like Lyney Lynette Freminet and other kids their age are child assassins. Now I'm PRETTY FUCKIN CONFIDENT they've killed people #like it wasn't hard to believe before but (and remember I haven't read their character stories) before it was mostly believable conjecture #I can't get over the scene where she returns to the bed #Arlecchino #genshin impact #genshin #genshin arlecchino #the knave #Genshin the knave #blazingshitpost genshin edition #blazingshitpost #Youtube

[hella1975]

there's a very specific kind of vibe that comes with living with your friends in final year that it just does not have in first year or even second year. like as a fresher it's usually the first time any of you have lived away from home let alone with SO MANY people your age and it's terrifying and exciting and randomised to boot so it's generally carnage for a whole year in the best and worst ways, and then second year you pick who you're living with and it feels like for the first time you're doing this adult thing PROPERLY. you have a place of your own now. these are the people you've chosen to live with. studying gets serious etc. but it's still fresh. it's still new. you still don't know how to navigate it. but final year? final year is when you actually get it right. you know how to manage your time better. you know what works for you and what doesn't. studying is the main focus and you've been out in the world for three years now and it's not loud and boisterous like it was in first year and you're not exciteable and awkward like you were in second year. you're comfortable. every single one of my flatmates has their own friend group and we mainly keep to our own social circles, but we'll still meet each other back at the house after a night out and sit in the kitchen or my room to do the debrief. sometimes i'll go days not seeing either of them despite sharing a house but every now and then someone will softly call up the stairs that 'the heating's on!' or one of us will sneeze and the other two will yell 'bless you!' through the walls. the lack of interaction isn't interpreted as dislike in ways it would have been even last year, because we're all just old enough to be past that now and settled enough in our friendship not to worry about it. idk. uni is very loud and unsettling a lot of the time so it's been really sweet to see how almost boringly comfortable final year is.

#like my day today was literally drag myself out of bed at 10am to meet my econ friends bc we're in a group together #and i spent two hours with them writing a fucking TRADE REPORT before coming home #and the rest of the day was kinda lost. i showered. i put a wash on. i had a nap. i mainly stayed in my room #which sometimes is the End Of All Things but today was quite nice #and i can hear in their rooms how my flatmates are doing the exact same thing. pottering about and getting on with uni #and we've barely spoken all day but earlier my one flatmate ran into my room all excited to show me her nails #bc she's been teaching herself to do gels and it took her 2 hours but im still one of the first people she wanted to show #and just now we all went to use the bathroom at the same time and it led to one of our Stair Sessions #where we all inexplicably just gather on the stairs and chat for no reason with a cup of tea #idk it's just nice. it's such basic shit but i can't belive in first year i used to spend EVERY DAY with these girls #and we were one single friendship group and that was all we had #and then in second year one girl branched off bc she lived in a studio and got into her societies #but me and the other girl lived together again and it was the same thing of she was a friend before she was someone i lived with #and weirdly that can actually be detrimental to a dynamic. but this year we're all just very solidified and confident in ourselves #and where we stand and yes we all have our own friendship groups outside of the house now #but there's still that love and simple comfortableness around each other that you only get with time and a hell of a lot of proximity #and a sense of being settled that maybe is just what happens as you get older #idk it's just really nice. if i had this exact same day in first year (doing economics and barely leaving my room) #it would've been a really bad depressive day for me so the fact i can find such contentment from it now is really heartening #i love my little life here im very proud of what ive been able to achieve :) #hella goes to uni #feeling nostalgic because SOME BITCH decided to ribs post

[dollypopup]

listen, i'll say it

if S3 doesn't give us significantly more Colin scenes, it'll be a failure

Colin is completely underdeveloped as a character. He has gotten just about 0 POV. All we know about him is either filtered through Penelope or in an ensemble scene with everyone else. And at this point, even if S3 is half and half, it still won't be fair. To balance out the discrepency, it should at *least* be 75% Colin and maaaaaaaaybe 25% Pen because we've gotten nothing for him

I ship Polin, I like Pen, but I'm over getting Pen's POV all the time. We've had enough of it. We've certainly had an unfair amount of it in comparison to his. I'm sick of seeing all the Whistledown behind the scenes and all her quiet contemplative moments when Colin doesn't so much as get 5 minutes focused on him being on the boat, or on his travels, writing his letters or talking through a problem to himself.

I love Colin. He's my absolute favorite character. And it sucks to have a favorite character who is *supposed* to be a lead but has had a grand total of nothing. Bton stripped him of character qualities and threw them onto Benedict, gave Colin like 5 lines, and filtered near all his 'development' through Penelope. Aside from his 'everyone says that [I'm Daphne's favorite]', our literal second scene of Colin is through Penelope's eyes. Everything he says, everything he does: it's always through Penelope's eyes. And I'm over it. I wanna see the world through *Colin's* eyes. And it would only deepen the narrative if we do.

Listen, the directors and showrunners have called Colin 'stupid' or 'dim' or 'not smart enough for Penelope'. The fandom has been rather blatant with their disregard of him, calling him boring, that he's not leading man material, writing him as a cardboard cutout in fics, assuming he's an empty charmer (hmmmm, just like what he's upset about in the books), and it's all because he's been denied a narrative. Colin is a rich, nuanced character. He's funny, he's kind, he's compassionate, he rejects toxic masculinity, he's got imposter syndrome like nothing else, he has a very unique role in his family and experienced a very unique perspective after his father died, he has hobbies (writing, boxing, fencing, studying, traveling) and strong values. But we've barely gotten any of it. Sure, we're *told* some things about him, but we never *see* it.

So if S3 is going to be his time to shine, his season, his falling arse over elbow in love era, they *have* to give us his perspective, and I don't fucking want it all to be his perspective about Pen. I am *tired* of Colin as an extension of Penelope. Penelope has had so much room and time and care to be a character on her own. Colin has gotten nothing. And that kind of dynamic does not a good love story make. And if all that underdevelopment wasn't to pull an Uno Reverse on us and give us a season that focuses on him and builds him up, what was it even for?

S3 should be Colin's story

#polin #bridgerton #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #bridgerton season 3 #yeah yeah penelope's a fan favorite #i wonder why #maybe it's because she has the lions share of scenes and development compared to literally every other character #and i get it: she's a main #but so is colin #why do constantly have to undermine him in order to prop her up? #did we *really* need all those 'pen writes LW' scenes when we haven't even seen Colin in Greece? or gotten him writing letters on the boat? #did we need all that unnecessary backstory when the only scene we got of him processing his broken engagement on his own was him in bed #for 30 seconds? #do we really need to center penelope's point of view for every single aspect of their relationship? #colin is supposed to be falling in love in season 3 too #give us his fucking perspective!!!! *show us* who he is #what he wants and values #AND we'll finally get Penelope from someone else's eyes. . .who ISN'T Penelope #how can you NOT want Colin pov??? #the writing has failed him *and* us because we don't even fucking have POLIN right now #we have Penelope and a sexy lamp she throws her romantic feelings and frustrations and expectations onto #and before the 'bton is aimed at a specific audience' bit (namely women) #some of us wlw (who often find ourselves relating to the male love lead *because* we both love women) also deserve a slice of the story #it's not just you straight girls out here #and as a wlw? right now the fanon version of penelope is the kind of woman i'd run crying and screaming from

[it-begins-with-rain]

Halloween Recommendation: Stephen King's Rose Red

** This one can be tricky to find. It was originally released as a 3 night mini-series in 2002, but then re-released as a motion picture. Apparently Hulu has it?

In 1906, oil barron John Rimbauer built a veritable palace overlooking Seattle. It was his young bride, Ellen, who would give the house it's name: Rose Red.

First blood was drawn before the foundation was even laid. A foreman, murdered over a simple argument. Bizarre deaths and mysterious disappearances plagued Rose Red, swallowing up the Rimbauer family, their servants, friends, and anyone who dared enter.

Eventually, the grand estate fell into disrepair. Paranormal investigators descended upon the property, but none were ever able to solve the mystery, nor stop the deaths.

Now, more than 90 years after the first deaths at Rose Red, Steven Rimbauer, the last living descendant of John and Ellen Rimbauer, has been offered massive sums of money to sell Rose Red. It will be totally leveled, the land used for condos.

Before the house is destroyed, Steven agrees to let Dr. Joyce Reardon and a cobbled-together team of psychics, mediums, and other paranormal investigators do one final sweep of the house.

What evil lurks within Rose Red?

What horrors did John and Ellen Rimbauer summon in their palatial estate- or were they victims themselves?

Why does Rose Red kill the men, but swallow the souls of the women and force them to haunt it's halls?

How many of Dr. Joyce Reardon's team can escape with their lives?

*** Stephen King wrote the screenplay for this story, but there is no novel. Instead, as part of the publicity and hype leading up to the miniseries premiere, "The Diary of Ellen Rimbauer" was published, serving as a prequel. You can buy the novel on Kindle.

#tv recommendations #tv recommendation #movie recommendations #movie recommendation #rose red #stephen king #one of his least known that's been translated to screen i'd say #mainly because he wrote the screenplay but for whatever reason it was never released in book form #god this scared me as a kid- to the point where i was nervous just writing this thing #let alone finding the poster for this- there's a still of 2 of the ghosts that usually comes up and i was scared i'd see it #literally had to sleep with blankets over my head and spread eagle across any bed for like 10 years because of one scene in particular #i was terrified #still can't sleep with a closet door even the slightest bit open #my parents wanted to prevent me from watching more than the 2nd night #because as much as the 1st night scared me #the 2nd night was so much worse and where most of my fears came from #i should say at this point- i loved horror; i couldn't be scared; but this one wrecked me #anyways #i had to fight my parents to be allowed to see the final night because i needed to see how it ended to MAYBE be less scared #like if you see the evil die you're fine #but i was so scared i kept my eyes covered the whole time anyways and i have no idea what happened #nowadays it might not even be scary to adult-me but why take the RISK

[skitskatdacat63]

— Emperor Charles VI's diary entry on Count Althann's death

[text: "My only heart, my comfort, my most faithful servant, my soulmate, who loved me dearly as I did him for 19 years, [we] had a true friendship, we were one heart and one soul, and we never concealed anything from one another. He will always be in my heart, [my] beloved friend..I. have lost everything."]

#this is like. incredibly niche. #but also hopefully a quote one can look at without context and still feel emotional damage about #idk. i think about this quote probably at least once a week and then have to stare at it and cry a bit #its just GOD. yknow?????? #theres this one paper(which i linked) that i originally read as research for the AU #but i go back to it probably twice a month to reread it bcs im so !!!! abt it #i think its cause charles vi is just not that relevant but is relevant to me so to have this paper abt his personal relationships is very ! #its both nice as ref for the au but also very interesting to hear about historical queer relationships/dynamics #the sections about him and his wife are very endearing as well #but god like him and count althann. im literally so invested in this 300 year old relationship #this is obviously from his death which is incredibly depressing and heart wrenching to me #but the other things he wrote about althann in his diary are very sweet to me #they were inseparable to the point of often sleeping in the same bed and charles called him his 'eternal love' #AND ON ALTHANN'S DE WIKIPEDIA PAGE IT LITERALLY CALLS HIM THE EMPEROR'S FAVORITE #anyways literally every part of this quote absolutely destroys me but especially how he refers to althann and then the ending #and its interesting to me bcs apparently his diary entries were usually pretty to the point #but when various people in his as althann died he would write these extremely emotional entries that are so </3 #if you have any questions abt their dynamic pls i will talk abt them 🥰🥰 i find it fascinating #theres a book about his diary but its in german and 500 pages and kinda hard to get hold in but maybe one day!!! #also in AU contexts: althann and charles vi would be mark and seb so take that as you will 🤭😭 #as i said this is great for ref but also made me sooooo fucking invested in him #i have no idea how to tag this #historical #holy roman empire #emperor charles vi #catie.rambling.txt #historical quotes #habsburg #habsburg monarchy #ah wow if only my german prof could see me now. fucking...habsburg posting. why am i like this

[shitouttabuck]

got nothing done today because jigsaw puppy chewed and swallowed the metal end of the charging cable for my vibrator so nir and i spent the afternoon at the emergency vet instead 🤡🫡

absolute terror!!!!!!!!

#he’s fine they did an x ray and it was still in his stomach so they gave him some hydrogen peroxide and he puked it up #but HEART in my THROAT till it was out of him #he was such a good boy (aside from the cable eating) #cannot believe it was that particular charger #i was literally like if this is how i’ve killed him i can never jerk off again #we’re home in bed he’s asleep on my stomach i love him sooo much. goblin dog #a reading instead of writing night i think…..

[mattodore]

can you describe matthias and theo night routines? and their sleep schedule

<3 ly

Theo doesn’t get a lot of sleep since he’s either out partying into the long stretches of the night or up studying until the words begin to blur on the page. I’d say he normally falls asleep around 3AM-4AM and doesn’t wake back up until 7AM. Four-ish hours is pretty average for how much sleep he gets a night… maybe less at times if he’s more stressed than usual. I should add that he does sleep more when he’s staying over at Matthias’s or vice versa, but generally he tries his best not to let Matthias distract him from studying before bed… which only ever works out about a quarter of the time. Matthias can be... very persuasive.

In the case of Matthias, well… he’s a chronic insomniac whose insomnia is exacerbated by hallucinations and nightmares. Unsurprisingly, his sleep schedule is terribly inconsistent, but if he does sleep then I think he normally manages it sometime around noon and will stay asleep for about an hour or two. It’s actually very rare that he falls asleep during the night—especially after Theo begins to sleep over, as Matthias prefers to read and watch over him at that time instead. Theo has fits in his sleep (from nightmares that he never remembers…) and Matthias gently calms him so he doesn’t wake up.

The only time they fall asleep at around the same time is when they’ve been at it for a while and both need a break. Matthias doesn’t stay asleep for long, though… maybe an hour at most. He does sleep easier around Theo, but that’s mostly just when Theo is awake. I think Matthias finds a lot of comfort in knowing Theo is there watching over him. He went through a lot at the reformation school and there were many times within those years where sleep would be abruptly interrupted and then he’d be back on the killing floor, so to speak, so having someone there to watch over him… I think it really helps. Then, on the other hand, Theo sleeps pretty deeply after they’ve been having sex. There’s never a time he feels more cared for and adored than when Matthias is making love to him, so it's... a relaxing experience. It puts Theo's mind at ease and I think it’s probably when Theo feels the safest. So he'll sleep for a long while after, feeling cradled in Matthias's presence, his anxiety finally snuffed out.

As for their actual night routines… hm. They’re very different, especially before and after the start of Echthroi. 

Theo’s night routine stays pretty much the same throughout the story. He’s not one for self-care, like, at all. Because of that, he doesn’t necessarily have a routine… Theo’s honestly only really meticulous in his studies and everything else suffers for it. However, Theo physically cannot fall asleep unless he’s checked the locks on the windows and doors and closed all of the blinds and curtains. That’s the one routine of his he’s always sure to follow through on, even when he’s intoxicated or sleep deprived.

Otherwise, what else he does as part of his “routine” is up in the air. Sometimes he showers before bed, other times he showers after waking up. Sometimes he combs through his hair all nicely and other times he just impatiently rips his fingers through his hair and shrugs. Sometimes he forgets to brush his teeth, other times he forgets that he’s already brushed his teeth and ends up doing it again. He’s a bit of a mess. If he’s actually aware/awake enough to put himself to bed, then he’ll messily wipe any makeup off his face post-clubbing and/or he’ll shower post-hook up (if it’s the pre-Matthias part of Echthroi). If he’s tired from studying he’ll put all of his materials away and then flop down on his bed. If he has to see his parents in the morning then he’ll wind up in the bathroom for too long, brushing his teeth until his gums bleed. If we’re talking about Theo in the post-meeting Matthias part of the story then he might take a cold shower to try and get Matthias out of his head for a little bit, or he’ll find himself laying in bed staring warily at his phone. Hm… and in general Theo will hum lullabies to himself so he can fall asleep easier… it’s a childhood habit.

By nature of Matthias’s insomnia, Matthias doesn’t exactly find himself preparing for bed during the night like most people. He does, however, still run through his personal care routine at around 8pm. He showers, brushes, flosses, cleanses and hydrates, primps and preens, and then he’ll usually find himself entertaining guests or a partner for the night.

For Matthias pre-meeting Theo, he’s often not alone after dark as he has a string of men with whom he takes to his bed or a list of faceless people to call on whenever he wants to be surrounded by bodies and chatter. There are still quiet nights where he’s by himself or just with Imani, but they’re relatively few and far between. For Matthias post-meeting Theo… woof. He did sleep around here and there still, but I think he gave it up pretty early on… his mind was always swimming with thoughts of Theo and he couldn’t focus on nor did he find himself interested in the men he’d have under him. So after meeting Theo his usual night circuit changes and he often finds himself staying home and reading with some wine and the occasional glance at his phone, waiting for a response. Matthias does a lot of waiting when it comes to Theo.

If they're together at night (when they’re dating), then Matthias will usually make dinner for Theo. He likes feeding him (by hand, even, though Theo often protests). Normally Theo will have a few textbooks with him that he can study from while he waits for dinner and he always winds up going "give me a minute" when the food is finally done. They'll enjoy each other's company just fine at home or they'll go out for a drive or a walk. Theo often winds up getting roped into following along with Matthias's night routine and will poke fun at how fussy Matthias can be as Matthias does skincare beside him in the bathroom. Theo tries to get away with studying again later in the night, but Matthias likes to distract him as he’s personally offended whenever Theo whips out his textbooks past, like, 11PM. In general, they'll wind up having sex at some point, or multiple points, and then they'll shower together. After they towel off and Matthias dries Theo's hair, Matthias will most likely end up reading to Theo until Theo falls asleep. If Theo wakes up during the night, Matthias simply kisses him back to sleep.

#i feel like i should add a cw for theo brushing his teeth like that but have no idea what i’d tag it as… #river dipping #asks #anonymous #oc extras #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #a burning house to live in #echthroi #ts4 #laying on my stomach in bed kicking my feet in the air and smiling at my laptop screen <3 love you toooooo #i'm sorry it took me so long to get around to replying to this but the horrors... yk how they can be i'm sure #literally took me weeks to write this out... those questionnaires took a toll on my brain clearly but i love them so it's okay #let this get away from me in length a bit but. well. dennis reynolds voice i've got shit to say etc. etc. #no but ummm... honestly my personality disorder is still being a little crazy atm so i'm still not really ready to talk much um. #and i'm probably going to continue to stay offline here for a few more days... #but i wanted to finally post this bc i really am sorry for how long it took me to get around to it... #and i also wanted to say thank you to everyone who sent me messages even if i didn't respond bc i felt embarrassed. huge kisses <3 #seeing the ''24 days ago'' timestamp on this as i finally go to hit post... woof. again i'm so sorry 😭 thank you for letting me talk #your ear off about them tho!!! seriously so grateful to have someone who's curious abt them like huuuge kisses for you as well!

[stardustdiiving]

I would read your zhongxiao codependent yuri Like, I do generally picture them as a vaguely father/son dynamic BUT THAT IS NOT CANON. It's just as much fun to view them through a romantic interpretation! Idk why people can't view the same characters in different kinds of relationships without being weird about it.

Anyway I love your vision and would love to hear more about it lakdjs

THANK U SO MUCH Im not sure if I’m gonna write zx in the future since I’ve tended to be shy about posting my stuff relating to them for over a yr now, but I did post this fic with them last year while trying to get a hold on how to write them (mind the tags it’s pure angst omg). I was too shy to tag it as ship since it didn’t feel shippy enough, which is kind of funny to me in hindsight bc I reread it and am like. Man I think only a zx shipper would write this NUFNVJVJV

Post got kind of lot Im gonna go on a tangent about them under the cut

Honestly my theory for why ppl r very set on the father/son interpretation is everyone’s immediate thought on to how to make the power imbalance between them seem less uncomfortable is to apply a parental interpretation to it. Which is fine ofc, I get it, but the way ppl push it as canon a lot kind of grates on me a little bc they’re usually incredibly passive aggressive and pushy even if u clearly designate ur post as ship OTL

Also not really a fan of the characterizations either since ppl tend to treat Xiao like a moody teenager Zhongli has to reel in (this is hilariously reminiscent of the post I made about how ppl handle scaramouche and nahida a bit ago haha). And idk I just feel kind of polarized about the headcanon overall bc I associate it with people being really uncomfortable and frustrating about zx

I just like how there’s sort of an imbalance to them, some zxs like them being more fluffy and functional but I sort of like it where it’s not like, entirely dysfunctional but I’m prioritizing a specific kind of character study over romance. This tends to be how a lot of my ships go ngl I just sometimes enjoy the intensity/intimacy of romantic feelings thrown into the mix if it makes it interesting but I’m not often interested in a lot of my ships following more standard romance plots(?) I guess? Unless it’s specific ones. Which sounds clinical when I put it like that but this is just bc I am very aromantic NHFBVJVJ

When I say codependency in zhongxiao honestly it’s sort of a theoretical(?) codependency—not sure how to word it? I think Xiao would be really fucked up if he didn’t have Zhongli in his life suddenly but I don’t think his relationship with getting attached to people invokes what people would majorly think of when they think of codependency in a ship I suppose. It’s moreso I just feel Xiao could be at his worst with dehumanizing himself in comparison to other people with Zhongli, because said mental state is driven by how he feels about debt, service, and duty which are very closely tied with devotion and how he would feel about someone he considers his god and leader, as well as someone who saved him

It’s fun this is paired with Zhongli who generally knows how to work with Xiao kind of understands the self destructive depth Xiao’s loyalty/devotion comes with. Also fun they have been around each other for a very long time and Xiao as one of the adepti is familiar with the past I think Zhongli appreciates having around. They work but it’s also a case where Zhongli is in such a position of power over Xiao its kind of very delicate situation that’s hard for both of them to navigate. Which is fun to explore. I esp love contrasting it with other Xiao pairings (actually i think i still have that xiaoven fic up on my ao3 where I tried to convey a specific interpretation of them in a similar exploration vein too)

I totally get why people wouldn’t like it (I feel a lot of my opinions on xiao ships just clash with a lot of fandom consensus so bad all the time And it’s just bc I’m like this I’m not even trying to be contrarian or anything. HELDINCJD) but I just tend to handle shipping in a specific way. It’s not I don’t enjoy fluffy or lighthearted zl and xiao stuff I actually enjoy it a lot I just like there being layers. This makes it feel more impactful when I think about how Zhongli looks out for Xiao in canon or how Xiao gets like textually flustered talking to him (lantern rite 2023 was so tailored to my tastes it’s not even funny)

#the yuri part is more of an inside joke w my friends bc this is how we all talk but I did once compare zx to my sapphic awakening pairing #which is rose & Pearl from steven universe and it is truly my favorite thing to pitch to people verbally bc It kind of sounds #incomprehensible but also I’m totally onto something….no one understands…. #Pearl and xiao r literally both spear wielding birds who’s arc revolves around being ok w being a person who lives for themselves :// #and they r eternally grateful to their war general leader . no one gets it. it torments me personally bc #I loved Pearl SU when I was 11 and now I enjoy xiao a lot and it’s like…we’ll these r very different characters but also I think I have not #changes. JUDJDKXJD #it’s 3am I woke up in a haze to answer this…I need to go to bed smh #fern.txt #zhongxiao #Edit: I woke up and finished writing this post and I a #am so tired #asks