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princessmadafu · 3 years

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37 bleedin’ pages!

I have condensed them for you and left out most of the bits that the nasty evil British Press have already covered. Feel free to skip any boring bits.

Dax Shepard: Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert's Experts on Expert. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Monica Mouse.

Monica Padman: Hi.

[...]

There follows some heavy marketing of towels and stuff...

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Pretty ironic really, as Harry wades into fake news and how advertising algorithms are ruining us...

DS:...It's like the algorithms on the internet. You can't compete with that, a human.

PH: You can't if you have the awareness of what it's doing to you. And the fact that it's learning, which is scary. And advertising has been going on for hundreds of years, but done really responsibly. The difference here is targeted ads. If ads have always worked for companies, you can put on the TV, you can walk away, you can come back, your involvement is switching on switching off or changing the channel. Whereas now with algorithms is there, it's just feeding your habits. And it's also reading through your emails and everything else. So it's getting to know you, like, it gets to know the decisions you're gonna make before you make them, then it creates this echo chamber of no pushback, of no context of nothing. It's just perpetuating and feeding the bias and the habits that you already have inside of you, which is terrible.[...]

Harry needs to learn about AdBlock and Ghostery and VPNs and Tor and DuckDuckGo and Smartpage and all the other clever little ways the computer-literate have of ridding their lives of unwanted advertising. I haven't seen an ad in years. The only person feeding my habits is me. It’s called personal responsibility. Maybe Harry still needs a Nanny but most grown-ups don’t. Oh wait, I forgot, the “Meghan&Harry Show” fans are all kids.

PH: [...] It's a computer. It's like, who wrote the algorithms? You guys did? Probably all male and all white.

Oooh, let's be sexist and racist, Harry! Did you ever hear of these women or are they too scary?

https://biztechmagazine.com/article/2012/05/mothers-technology-10-women-who-invented-and-innovated-tech

Then they discuss Naked Vegas (this guy Dax has a thing about nudity) and Harry in Afghanistan. And discuss a calendar of naked men that DS and MP put together - their favourite male bodies. What a good job it's only gloating over naked male bodies and not naked female bodies. It's apparently acceptable, for some reason. Harry doesn't know who the guys are.

DS: Monica makes this for me every year and it's a calendar of all my favourite bodies of friends.

MP: And they're all men.

DS: They're all men.

MP: And they're all gorgeous bodies.

[...]

And is Harry nervous talking about mental health? He shouldn't be, he's been banging on about it for years.

PH: Yeah. Was I nervous? No. Not so much nervous. But I guess on this particular subject around mental health. Yeah. For me, it's always a, unfortunately, today's world is quite a sensitive subject, not just for the people who are sharing. But ultimately, the subject matter itself has to be handled with care. [...] It ends up getting weaponized by certain people.

Weaponised by certain people? Like him and Markle, for instance. Neither of 'em has any talent so they weaponise their mental health. Big big mental health bombs loaded with word salad to lob at their own families and cause huge distress. Not nice, Harry.

PH: That's how I've always felt when it comes to projection. I mean, hatred is a form of projection, right? [...] We're not born to hate people. So it manifests itself over a period of time. And of course, it can come from unresolved pain, or being hurt continually, as a young kid or through adult life. But ultimately, there's a source to it. There's a reason why you want to hate somebody else.

Like his dad, his brother...

PH: And actually have some compassion for them. Which is really hard when you're on the receiving end of this, like, just vile, toxic abuse. But the reality is, is you say, flip it. [...] Every single one of us wherever we are, wherever we come from, there will always try and find some way to be able to mask the actual feeling and be able to try and make us feel different to how we are actually feeling, perhaps having a feeling. Right, because so many people are just numb to it. That was a huge part of the beginning of my life, which was like, I rejected. I said, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm fine.

And now he's moved on to promoting his new mental health stuff with Oprah, The Me You Can't See...

PH: So if you are making that conscious decision to say: You know what, it's not self serving, but I want to share my story. I'm being asked to share my story to hopefully help someone or loads of other people. I'm probably going to get trolled. I'm probably going to get attacked by the same people that were doing anyway. If I'm willing to make that decision, surely that comes from a place of courage rather than weakness?

Or possibly naivety. Harry is only wanted for his money-making title and royal status; he has no mental health qualifications, he's not a mental health professional, he's not an expert, all he brings to the table is the glamour of being a prince of the BRF. Which he quite clearly hates. Markle is lining her pockets from their self-indulgent mental health whinge fest and he's too dim to see it. There follows the bit about the spectrum of upbringing that the press is covering nicely so I can skip the next few pages - the bits where Harry says he doesn't see that talking about his own issues is complaining, and “it's the job, right”, how he never wanted the job of being royal, and his therapy and how “massively self-critical” he is (yet still can't see that he's not being honest with himself), ooh and sharing his hatred of the British press - that's a good bit, let's skip to page 18:

PH I think the biggest issue for me was that being born into it, you inherit the risk, you inherit the risk that comes with it, you inherit every element of it without choice. And because of the way that the UK media are, they feel an ownership over you. Literally like a full on ownership. And then they give the impression to some of their, well, most of the readers, that that is the case. But I think it's a really dangerous place to be if you don't have a choice, but then, of course, then people quite rightly will turn around and go. So what if you didn't have a choice? It was privilege? [...] Page Six of the New York Post, they took pictures of my son being picked up from school on his first day [...] But I guess my point is the way that I look at it, especially now living here one hour outside LA. Like it's a feeding frenzy here. We spent the first three and a half months living at Tyler Perry's house. You let us stay. And the helicopter helicopters, the drones the paparazzi cutting the fence like it was madness. And people out there -Their response was, Well, what do you expect if you live in LA? It's like, Okay, well, first of all, we didn't mean to live in LA. This is like a staging area before we try and find a house. And secondly, how sad that if you live in LA and you're well known figure, you just have to accept it. The first security we had, I said, Well, where's the safest place? Inside. Just because I'm a well known person, you can't go outside anymore. [...] it's really, really sad. And of course, their argument is - the paparazzi and everybody else - is like all if you're in the public space, then it's absolutely fine for us to do it. So what is our human right as an individual and as a family, you're saying that if the moment we step foot out of our house, that it's open season and free game? What? Because of public interest?. There's no public interest in you taking your kids for a walk down the beach. Nothing...

And on and on it goes... He should've stayed in the UK then. The Cambridges are managing very nicely, thank you. They take their kids for walks on the beach, and we'd never seen them until they released their anniversary video the other week. Harry's clearly envious of William; Harry's mad wife is vitriolically envious of Catherine. Oh and I’m pretty sure it’s the mad wife who keeps phoning her go-to paps when she needs to be in the news again.

PH: [...] I believe we live in an age now where you've got certain elements of the media redefining to us what privacy means. There's a massive conflict of interest. And then you've got social media platforms, trying to redefine what free speech means. Why - I wonder why you're doing that. And again - so this has been happening for 15 years now. And we're living in this world where we've almost like all the laws have been completely flipped by the very people that need them flipped so they can make more money and they can capitalise off our pain, grief, and this sort of general self destructive mode that's happening at the moment [...]

He doesn't get how hypocritical this is, does he? The Markles are the ones capitalising on their grief, pain and the rest of it. And no-one would be interested in them without the royal bits because they have nothing else to offer. Failed actress and used-to-be-a-soldier wrapped up in festering bitterness.

Blah, blah... went shopping in a supermarket... saw lots of chewing gum... blah, blah... Archie on the back of his bicycle... girls want to be princesses... You don't need to be a princess, you can create the life that will be better than any princess or it's something along those lines... she said she expected [the press] to be fair... Pages and pages of how he hates the British press...

PH: [...] And especially when you can't defend yourself so yes, I think when you marry into it, especially when it's one Princess Diana's sons there is a certain amount of 'okay what I'm actually letting myself in for?' But very few people actually know - apart from the Brits - how toxic that element of the of the UK press is.[...]

We're up to page 24 now, if you're still with me. Oh here it is, Harry's unconscious bias... What’s the betting the mad wife has scripted this bit for him?

PH: [...] So going back to the whole sort of travelling around the Commonwealth, I thought I knew, right, having been able to travel that much and meet so many and such a diverse group of people. I thought I understood life. Especially bearing in mind most of the countries I was going to were, most of the communities are going to were people of colour. But then I was really shocked once I started doing therapy. And that bubble was burst. And I started doing my own work, really - a lot of work - and started to uncover and understand more about unconscious bias. And I was like, wow, I thought since I screwed up when I was younger, and then did the work. I thought I then knew. But I didn't. And I still don't fully know. It's like a constant working progress. And every single one of us has it. [...] Everyone has biases, of all sorts. But I think it's a really important point, especially now, after everything's happened in the last year and a half, like the world is changing, the younger generation are driving it. And you've got to like a multi-racial, cultural sort of movement happening, which has never happened before. But unconscious bias is the way that I understand it, is, again, it's not something that's wrong with you. Right? And you don't have to be defensive about it. That's the thing. No one's blaming you. But the moment that you acknowledge that you do have unconscious bias, what are you going to do about it? Because if you choose to do nothing you're continuing to fuel the problem, which means that you're then heading towards racism. Whereas unconscious bias is actually something that is inherent, unfortunately, in every single one of us. But that it is possible to educate yourself to be more aware of the problems and therefore be part of the solution rather than part of the problem.

Markle's got him well-trained on this one, hasn't she. I wonder if he's read anything critical of the unconscious bias movement, or just repeating what he's been told to. Oh and then he goes off about being in the army...

PH: I loved it. I love wearing the same uniform as everybody else. I love being treated the same. I love the expectation of if you want to get that job, or you want that promotion, or you want to finish this race, it's all on you. There's no special treatment, you're not going to get any help. If anything, you're probably going to get treated the opposite because everyone thinks that you've had an easy life. And everyone's always helped you get to where you are.

But...but...but, Harry wasn't treated the same, there was special treatment, he was helped to get to where he was. He scraped a couple of poor quality A Levels and got admitted to Sandhurst because he's a prince. Good old Wikipedia says:

In June 2003, Harry completed his education at Eton with two A-Levels,[22] achieving a grade B in art and D in geography, having decided to drop history of art after AS level.[23] He has been described as "a top tier athlete", having played competitive polo and rugby union.[24] One of Harry's former teachers, Sarah Forsyth, has asserted that Harry was a "weak student" and that staff at Eton conspired to help him cheat on examinations.[25][26] Both Eton and Harry denied the claims.[25][27] While a tribunal made no ruling on the cheating claim, it "accepted the prince had received help in preparing his A-level 'expressive' project, which he needed to pass to secure his place at Sandhurst."[25][28]

PH: And then suddenly, like - while I was at school, I hated exams. And I promised myself I'd never do exams again. Then I joined the army of which is full of exams. I still promised myself I'm never gonna do it and then I end up flying Apache [...]

Gods, it's getting boring. Even the interviewers are zoning out. Still ten pages to go. Wish I hadn't started this, I could be out weeding. Weather's nice, not too windy... Do I deserve a quick G&T yet?

PH: Or worse, was they turn around and say, right, because last week, you're out the front. This week, you got to carry his bergan, I'm like - what, 30 extra pounds? Nooo. But it was, it was the most normalising experience or job that I could have ever hoped for. And then going to Afghanistan twice [...] And someone said to me very recently, from the moment that you're born into today's world, life is trauma, so the sooner that we actually acknowledge that but but [...]

A-a-a-a-and he's back on the mental health thing, PTSD or PTSI,

PH: Post Traumatic Stress Injury is like: Well, that makes sense, because I just saw my mate get blown out. But the other piece of this is, what we need to remember is, the lot of the recruiting that we do in the UK, comes from certain cities and certain homes, where there's childhood trauma. So what we collectively have already got inside of us, the trigger of seeing something happen in Iraq, Afghanistan can be the trigger. So everyone goes: Oh, it's because they were on operations, and because they saw their makeup blown up. It's like, no. [...] So that's what I've been working on for years, for the last five years, which is like, and it started in therapy of like, I don't want to lose this thing, because I think it's, I feel so connected to my mum. [...]

They move on to parenting, which the press is rubbing its hands over... Harry blaming everyone but himself and his saintly mother - Charles, HMTQ, PP... "They f*ck you up, your mum and dad". But not the mum bit. He can't push his mum off her pedestal.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/48419/this-be-the-verse if you don't know Larkin's poetry. How much more? Nearly there. Monica loves The Crown and doesn't realise it's fictitious.

DS: [...]Well, Harry, I've really really liked talking to you. You're very charming. You're very intelligent. You're handsome, and I can't wait to see your torso.

MP: Thank you so much for coming.

DS: So I just want to remind everyone that May 21 on Apple Plus, you should check out Oprah and Prince Harry's 'The Me You Can't See'. I have to imagine it's similar to her book, which I just read, which is absolutely incredible 'What happened to you?' So everyone should check out 'The me you can't see' on Apple plus May 21.

And still Harry won't shut up... Shut up, shut up. Cut his mic. You don't have to read this last bit, they've already wound up the interview...He still won’t shut up.

PH: Yeah, we're moving from the physical to the emotional, right, physically. At the beginning of this pandemic, people were panicking. And there was that fight or flight like, ahh what do we do like lockdown, survival? Yeah. And now that the vaccines have been sort of, we're getting to the point where more and more people are being vaccinated, we're now in the emotional phase of what I read in the New York Times article was called languishing, which is really interesting. It's like the is the middle child between flourishing and depression. You just feel flat, and it's not depressed. It's definitely not flourishing. You lack the energy and the will, the motivation, all that kind of stuff. Because you're kind of sitting there going - Well, what happens next? And I think it's really important that we talk about languishing. And it was coined by someone I can't remember who but I think it was the journalist who wrote the story was Adam Grant. No, he didn't come up with it. Someone else came up with him, he wrote this, the most amazing article about languishing and the fact that how important it is to be able to talk about it because - look when it comes to mental health, we need to realise and accept that every single one of us have mental health. There's varying degrees, as we said, you've got the mental illness, and then you've got the sort of the awareness and the work that you can put in, like, Where do you want to be that we shouldn't just sit there and go: Oh, mental illness is once we are literally on the floor crawling around in the foetal position needing help. But for me, I don't think I need therapy anymore. But I wanted. And when I say therapy, I mean, actual therapy, sitting down having a discussion with someone. But I also mean like, nature, like going for walks, like throwing the ball for my dog down the beach and stuff like that. There are certain things around the world that are free, some you have to pay for, but ultimately go searching for the things that make you feel good about yourself. Like that's the key to life, get rid of the bad stuff, get rid of the hate, and just focus on the good. And your whole life turns around from that. I hate this idea. And I was one of them. I fell for it. Right? I didn't acknowledge that clearly what happened to me when I was 12 years old, losing my mom and all the other pieces that happened, the traumatic experiences that happened to me since then, I didn't acknowledge them, when perhaps - maybe I need to deal with this because if I don't, how the hell am I going to be a decent father to my son and my daughter? Like that awareness, I didn't have then. But again, we've got what - 40 experts as part of this series, and the Surgeon General, Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, she's absolutely fantastic. And she was talking about this concept of mental health being sort of public health, right. Because the services are so limited. There's not enough money. The problem is actually immense. How can we all help each other rather than this: 'Oh, once I'm broken, or once I'm suffering, I have to go here.' And there's not enough rooms or spaces for the amount of people or the for the need, when actually you can get ahead of it, and work on the prevention by sharing and being more vulnerable with each other, and being able to process this grief or this loss, or this trauma that every single one of us have experienced and will experience. So anyone who's sitting there going: 'I don't have a problem, and I never will have a problem.' Well, you probably are already contributing to the problem, because you probably got your blinkers on, you probably created your own echo chambers. So I think it's a that, that's certainly what I've experienced for my own process, my own journey, my family and my friends and everybody else is. Anyone who thinks, oh, we're fine. You're the one who's like, willing to talk about it. It's like, yeah, I'm willing to talk about it and talking about it. And the financial element as well. We're pouring money into on the downsteam, when it's like, Can we just focus upstream? Yeah, we focus on one thing, like to me listen to Oprah was what was one of the reasons that this whole thing started was two of the biggest issues that we're facing in today's world, I think, is the climate crisis, and mental health. And they're both intrinsically linked. Basically if we neglect our collective wellbeing, then we're screwed. Basically, because we can't look after ourselves. We can't look after each other. We can't look after each other, we can't look after this home that we all inhabit. So it's all part of the same thing.

DS: Prince Harry, I don't say this lightly. I love you. Thanks for coming. This was great.

M: Thank you so much.

PH: Thank you very much.

Wish I'd done my weeding.

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Ducktales Reviews: The Town Where Everyone Was Nice! or Scrooge Is the Lindburgh Baby

Saludos Amigos! The Ride of the Three Cablleros has at long last come to the last stop before it’s final phase. It’s been a hell of a ride so far: Our boys have tried to woo some ladies, performed some black magic, had some sort of drug trip, dealt with Donald’s ego, helped goofy ungoofy himself...

“SEASONS CHANGE, TIMES CHANGE BUT UNGOOFY IS FOREVER AND ALWAYS HE IS ALWAYS THERE” ... I created this magificent stalion.. kinda I think he came out of a styigan hole in the universe from the darkest dark in the dark of the dark... I can’t be sure. Our heroes fought an arrogant prince, found a lost city and helped donald get his smile back. All culminating in our heroes going to Spain for some reason, soundtracking Goofy’s win against Horace in Flamico Dancing, somehow that wasn’t a Covid induced fever dream I had but the actual premise of the episode, and then played some soccer with Daisy’s cousin and Pancho Pete. All in all we’ve had some good times getting here and I feel acomplished having made it this far. While I’ve still got quite a ways to go, getting this far means I really made something.. and not just the 80 something dollars it took to comission all of this. And I genuinely just want to thank all of you for reading these as these have easily been some of my most popular reviews and @weirdkev27 for comissioning all of this. It’s been easily one of my faviorite projects so far and I look forward to the final leg of it soon. For now though we have one last adventure before the biggest one starts. But before we can dive into it you probably have a few questions, and since I don’t really need to give Ducktales 2017 a lavish introduction as unlike most stuff so far this show is well and familiar: it’s what got me started reviewing animation on this blog, it’s what got me into the duck community as a full member, and it’s what caught Kev’s attention leading to this entire series. So I have time to answer the questions your probably asking and if your not.. well here’s the answers anyway Wait aren’t you going to cover Louie’s Eleven?: Nope. While I love that episode, I already did a full review of it earlier this year. I saw no reason to completely and utterly redo the entire thing when my opinions toward the episode haven’t really changed. That being said since I didn’t touch on the boys characterizations in that one too much and since I do want this retrospective to be comprehensive, I will talk about Panchito And Jose’s characterization there briefly during this review at the right time as a compromise.

Wait why isn’t THIS the last stop since it came out AFTER Legend of the Three Cablleros: Simple.. it felt unsatsfying to both me and kev to end on this one. While their apperance here IS a good one and a big deal... it’s also ANOTHER guest apperance. It’s something I didn’t quite realize for now but outside of the movie.. every apperance after is them guest starring in another series. Their aperances in Don Rosa’s Duck Comics, while awesome and treating them with proper respect, were still them showing up to shake up Donald’s stories and formulas. They were LITERAL guest stars in House of Mouse, and Roadster Racers was entirely just “let’s shove them in there because we can”. Legend.. is their story. Their moment in the sun after too damn long with all three as main characters and while being a lead is normal for donald, Jose and Panchito really HAVEN’T had that shot outside of their home countries. To be the hero of their own fully realized epic adventure. So it just fits best to have the road lead there instead of have all that happen.. then go back to yet another guest appearance. The other major factor.. is that while Legend came out around the same time as ducktales, to the point many compared and contrast both shows treatment of Donald, this episode is what most non-latin american audiences saw first as it took Disney WAY too damn long to air the series over here.. i.e. until Disney Plus launched, finding it somewhere online was the only option despite the series being produced in america with some really big american names voice acting wise. Point is this came first to some people, so i’m using that as a flimsy excuse to put it ahead so we get a better finale.

Now all that’s settled, let’s dive into “The Town Where Everyone Was Nice!” and see what one of the best duck propeties period makes of our boys.

We open in a remote town in Brazil. It’s the Festival of the Flower.. which is a bit off to me. While it DOES kind of make plot sense.. the problem is the lure was written to Panchito and Jose.. Jose whose a brazil native and could’ve possibly been supscious that a tourist invintation wasn’t in Brazilian Portugese, the countries national language and something I specifically researched just to see what it’d be called. For the record it’d be O Festival da Flor acording to google translate, which still sounds neat, Webby could’ve still said it means festival of the flower. It just feels like a missed opportunity from a creative team that’s taken such pains to make the series feel as authentic as possible and clearly put a lot of hard work and research into making each location feel like it’s real world counterpart. But it’s a minor thing and we soon get our two plots for the episode: Our B Plot.. is that Dewey can’t stay the fuck off his phone and is taking pictures rather than actually getting experiences with Louie enabling him, while Webby gets increasingly frustrated at Dewey not actually botherting to experince this unique and obscure culture. We’ll get back to this in a bit.

Our main plot naturally concerns the reason our heroes are here: Donald is reuniting with The Cabs, who in this continuity are his old College friends who Scrooge hates due to having to listen to them practice constnatly and tells the kids they’d hate it worse than his playing the bagpipes.

Bagpipes are objectively the worst insterument on earth. They are loud, unharmonic and generally just obnoxious. I do respect how important they are to Scotland, home of David Tennant, Grant Morrision and .. Alan Cumming and James Macavoy? Wait what? that’s awesome! Point is Scotland is great but I do not like the bagpipes except when Bugs Bunnny is murdering them. Honestly Donald’s college band was probably more like this. Nothing bad at all just mildly pathetic and mildly pathetic is what got Donald a girlfriend, so it’s not a bad look

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That brings me to another point: Scrooge is pretty obnoxious in this episode. It seems like his sole reason for coming was to bitch about Donald’s old college band. He could’ve just sent them a stern letter like the pros at being a cranky old geezer do.

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I do GET why he’s here as there are some REALLY damn funny bits with him in the a-plot, it just feels like they could’ve justified it better. But on to better things as Jose and Panchito enter the scene after Scrooge claims they “weren’t so cool”.. with Panchito diving from a plane and drifting down on his umbrella

And Panchito shows up dramatically playing the guitar. A truly awesome and worthy intro to our boys. So let’s talk about them in this series. Honestly the two really aren’t that diffrent from usual, though Jose’s lady chasing is given to Panchito, his footloose world traveling lifestyle remains in tact as does his genuine charm while Panchito remains the peppy one, just with his outbursts gone as his guns are replaced with cell phones..

Yeah while I do get replacing the pistols because let’s face it the mexican of the group being a gun nut was pretty damn unfortunate, though Don Rosa toned it down and justifed it well, and frankly guns are a hard no for family shows these days unless their laser guns so replacing them I get. But instead of I dunno giving him knives or turning his holsters into pouches carrying his stuff.. he just has two Cell Phones. It’s weird. It dosen’t really make sense other than for him putting on a big shot act and even big stars probably don’t have two phones on them at all times. It’s just a VERY weird update that makes not a whole lot of logical sense and I belivie is thankfully gone by the next ep. The only real issue I have is the two just sorta blend together personality wise instead of being distinct like usual, but that’s also happened in other apperances, so it’s not exactly a new or unique problem, and the two’s voice actors do a great job making both feel like they should.

Speaking of which let’s just go ahead and discuss that elephant in the room: The Cabs were recast for the first time in ages, which didn’t sit well with friends of legend as Eric Bauza, who’d replaced rob Paulsen, was himself replaced by Arturo Del Puerto and Bernado Del Paulo replaced Jamie Camil and Carlos Aquazi as Panchito. And I have mixed opinons on this one: Replacing Eric was a no brainer: while he’s a terrific voice actor.. he’s not brazilian and the crew of Ducktales 2017 perfer to cast actors who match their characters backgrounds, which again adds to the authenicty of it’s globetrotting and scope. They don’t ALWAYS, Cree Summer isn’t, as far as I know, Egyptian and Catherine Tate, while wonderful, isn’t italian. But for the most part it adds a nice flavor to things and frankly I personally prefer it when Jose is voiced by an actual brazilian man. So that change i’m fine with. Not using Camil though... I do not get. Jamie Camil is a throughly talented voice actor, having done TONS of great work lately , vocing Globgor for star vs and not getting nearly enough screen time as the loveable demon dad, and stealing the show as Don Carnage earlier in the series. While that episode is one of the series weakest, he’s still easily the best part of it and I hope Carnage shows up one last time before the finale.

So it really makes.. no sense to me to replace him. Not only is camil a bigger named actor, but he was already on the show and even the defense of “well they don’t want actors playing multiple rolls” ended up utterly destroyed by the end of the season, as Christ Dimatopolus not only reprised Storkules, but went on to play Drake and Melon, and picked up a FOURTH role in season 3 as Hades. My point is the show has no real issue with doubling up on voice rolls, so I scratch my head as to why Camil wasn’t given this part too despite being the obvious choice. Del Paulo isn’t a bad actor and is great in the role.. I just scratch my head why he was needed when a perfect actor for the part was right there and already had experince with the character.

I do think Puerto and Paulo are terrific and do the characters justice, issues with Paulo being there at all aside, and they do a great job and more than earned the roles and I don’t think the mass critcisim of this version of the characters is entirely warranted.. for this episode. This episode while they can meld into each other... that happens in most of their apperances anyway, so it’s not unusual or unique to this series. I will say however that the way their written in their next apperance is utter garbage: they aren’t really given any chances to be distinct, are basically written as one person even worse .. and that one person is a greedy asshole who takes advantage of their friend and never apologizes. I do get why people did not like them in that episode. I do think it has no baring on this one and people should stop bashing these versions as a whole for one terrible episode, especially when Louie has been written pretty badly for the bulk of season 3, yet is still not a bad character. It’s unfair to paint the series as painting them soley as selfish jackasses when it didn’t at first and hopefully wont’ again when they presumibly show up for the finale’s big avengers endgame sequence I hope is coming. For now they aren’t bad and the colors are crisp and the animation nice and bouncy on our boys.

Since we have two plots here, I’m just going to go ahead and split em since honestly, the b plot dosen’t really impact the a-plot until really the last minute and is basically happening right along side it and in concert with it. Sooooo...

The Trite B-Plot: As you can probably gather I didn’t really like this one. It’s basically 5-7 minutes of me wanting to punch a child in the face. Or rather Webby wanting to have fun experinces and actually take in the culture while in town, while Dewey just wants to take pictures of everything, make it seem like he did stuff, and generally is obnoxious to webby while Louie supports him wholeheartdly. That last part is really one of the few good parts of the plot as it’s nice for one of the brothers plots to NOT be about them being in conflict or squabbling but just hanging out and having some fun, doubly so since i’ve had to spend a season watching Louie , outside of a few good exceptions be an absolute dick to Huey and also Dewey once. It’s nice to just see him and Dewey bond over a shared intrest: posting shit online and getting good photos.

And it’s not without GOOD gags: Dewey’s obnoxious captions at one point while Webby continually looses her shit, Louie continually saying “that’s so wise” at Dewey’s bullshit philosphies, Webby’s continued annoyance is delivered great by Kate as always, and the best bit is Webby, utterly pissed at Dewey for refusing to eat Local Cuisine, wolfing down the entire fucking plate, all the dumplings in her mouth at once while Dewey, naturally, takes a picture. Otherwise this is just.. grating. It’s utterly grating to watch Webby GENUINELY try hard to absorb the local culture and really enjoy a once in a life time experince.. while Dewey jackasses about and basically acts like she’s wrong for it and treats his best friend like garbage. Just because i’ts nice it’s not Louie this time doesen’t make one of the kids being a dick without any nuance or character stuff suddenly great. It’s just tiresome.

And SOMEHOW , despite already not liking it the first time watching the episode.. it’s even WORSE now afterlast years. No not because I watched it while having to put up with Coronoavirus induced Chills, but because another show did this plot 100 times better: Close Enough. One of the best new shows of the year, Close Enough had a plot where exes Bridget and Alex, aka yet aother great set of Kimiko Glenn and Jason Mantzokus characters, went on vacation together, but their attempts to have some ex sex fell flat due to longstanding issues we found about through this plot: Bridget has a bad habit of doing what Dewey did, focusing way more on her social than actually enjoying her vacatoin while Alex has a bad habit of befreinding random weirdos who agree with his worldview. Keep in mind this is the same worldview that spent an afternoon connecting garfield to jesus while pissing in a jug for some reason. Point instead of a character just being a smug dick, it ties into actual character flaws that helped us not only learn more about them but lead to a really heartwarming scene where the two admit they jsut can’t sleep together casually with allt heir baggage, and that they still have a lot to sort out. Before given the show their on having their friends show up from the a plot and all of them getting kidnapped by a robot because Josh skipped a bunch of ads and a 5 year old has to solve some issues and prove she’s not dumb to blow up said robot. What i’m saying is it’s even more insufferable watching this after seeing it done a thousand times better, and fucking watch Close Enough. Thankfully unlike Inifnity Train it’s not reliant on you to get a second season as it’s been renewed proving that even in a cluster fuck like 2020 miracles can happen, but it’d still be nice for it to get more fans during the presumably long wait for Season 2. Let’s move past this, i’ll get to the plot relevant bit for the climax when we get to the climax, and onto the reason your all here.

The Main Event: A Life Not Wasted

Okay onto the actual plot. Rewinding quite a bit, the boys meet our boys, and we get some good bits. The boys cool new handshake leaves Huey wanting one only for Louie to simply lick his hand. See this is Louie dickery I can get behind because what did Huey expect? I do take comfort in the fact he has actual friends now who will likely do a handshake, fenton very much included. I’m sure Gyro didn’t want one either so he’s had plenty of time to workshop. We also find out one of the boys was dropped as an egg and well.. given Dewey opens and closes his eyes one at a time for this one moment, the ohter triplets just sorta.. silently agre it’s Dewey. IT does explain why he thought Champ Popular would get over..that and Santa Claus is Going to Highschool being his favorite movie.

So both Jose and Panchito claim to be sucessful: Jose being a sucessful jetsetter and trendsetter, and Panchito being a world famous pop star, never stop stopping. So Donald being donald panics and runs into a alley where Scrooge and Huey join him. Donald is fully convinced he’s wasted his life and has nothing to show for it. Huey rightfully points out he raised three wonderful children and isn’t that enough? Naturally given Donald clearly has some issues related to this subject and Scrooge has develoved into old man yells at cloud, he agrees it’s not important as money. So Huey decides to help his uncle because he’s the good son.. and because the two are easily the most alike out of Donald and his Kids. It’s something I haven’t really been able to bring up before so I was delighted to realize i could now: Besides the obvious people bring up constnatly, I.e. Huey having inhereted the most of the family rage out of his brothers, there’s the fact both are kind of obessive, both tend ot spiral into panic when a situation goes wrong, both are awkward with women, both are frequently ignored or taken for granted by those around them, and both are awkward adorable dorks who I will give my life to protect. It’s why I think Huey has the best relationship with his uncle of the bunch: He’s the only one who at least TRIES to empahtize with him and support him. While the other two do love him, and Webby of course likely has an insanne and horrifying shrine of him, and scrooge and probably della now in her closet.. and of course lena but that’s less out of hero worship and more out of her insane, over the top, very webby version of love. Point is, he’s the one who genuinely sees his uncle as a person who needs help and love. This was best demonstrated in the scene at the bank back in “Who Is Gizmoduck” as Huey tries to get his uncle a loan using the guidebook and is there soley to help the guy and taking time out of his day to visit the bank. Let’s face it though this is huey: he probably loves visiting the bank. They just got new pens! So Huey decides to put his improv badge to good use... so far the only use he’s gotten is Louie laughing at the fact he actually earned an improv badge and urges donald to simply ACT like he’s sucessful. Scrooge balks at this, because as Wonder Woman 1984 taught us nothing good comes from lies.. or from banging your ghost boyfriend while he’s possessing someone’s body without said body’s consent and plan to fully live out the rest of your lives togehter without ever considering how fucked up this is. I will..deal with that movie ... soon. But he soon changes his turn and agrees to go along with it to avoid Jose getting upset and them having to pay for everything.

So Huey suggest Donald keep the lie small, but belivable. Given the law of sitcoms when it comes to anyone saying that and the fact this is Donald, he instead panics and lies that he’s taken over McDuck industries and scrooge has gone full abe simpson in the other direction.

Which is why i’m not enitrely annoyed by Scrooge’s presence: while they don’t even handwave him being here, Scrooge putting on an old man act, and sometimes getting back at donald for it is solid gold the whole damn time and some of David Tennat’s best comedic acting on the show, so it makes up for him being a grumpus. And while i’m not usually not a fan of liar revealed plots, this one works for me.. mostly because it’s rooted in character. Here Donald is lying.. but because of deep seated neurosis he’s yet to fully tackle. While he loves his boys and is proud of htem every day... it’s very clear Donald hates his life and how it turned out. We got bits of this back in House of the Lucky Gander, with Donald’s first thought upon thinking he’s about to die is “I wasted my life” and feeling entirely like a looser. This episode brillinatly builds on that: it shows a Donald who simply feels.. he acomplished nothing. It’s easy to see why as his parents were happy and sucessful at whatever they did from the looks of it and how well taken care of the kids were, his uncle is the richest duck in the world and it’s greatest hero and explorer, his sister is the only one who could rival that record, and his cousin constnatly gets riches and fame handed to him. Donald.. by comparison.. is just a normal guy whose house is in his rich uncle’s pool, who has no job, no partner, and only really the love of his family. He spent his life on adventures he didn’t want to have living int he shadow of someone he grew to resent before the Spear of Selene incident blew things up for a decade. And then when he was free instead of becoming a big sucess... he blew the rest of it being overprotective of his boys and bouncing from dead end job to dead end job. It’s easy to see why he sees himself as a failure despite having lived a good life: compared to everyone else, even his sister who mooned herself, in his life.. he feelsd far behind. And as someone whose felt they were far behind countless times and only now is realizing they haven’t and it’s a marathoon ot a sprint I naturally relate. So his wanting to play big shot for just ONE day, to be the big hero like scrooge, teo be a sucess for five minutes with his best friends.. it’s understandable and relatable.

So Donald continues the ruse, leading to a great bit where the cabs all try to avoid picking up the check “WE can’t all keep whistling nonchalantly” before Scrooge is forced to give Donald the money to in the best joke of the episode.. and I mean FORCED. He and donald get into a fight with their hands under the table and Huey eventually gets fed up with that and has to BITE his uncle’s hand just to get him to do what he shoudl’ve done ruse or no given he’s the richest person there. The reason I take special offense to this.. is that my fairly wealthy grandpa and grandma, my mom’s dad and his wife for the record, would buy us dinner EVERY TIME they were near town, a nice steak dinner with whatever we wanted to most of the time. They knew we couldn’t afford such luxury half the time and wanted to treat us and spend time with us. Since my grandpa’s passing, my Grandma and her New Husband have continued the tradition since then, if obviously not this year for damn obvious reasons, thought hey sent us a really nice dinner to cook for christmas in the same spirit. What i’m saying is when you know your relatives arne’t as stacked as you , you pay for the fucking meal especially since i’ts a special occasion, and even for someone as stingy as scrooge, it comes off as a dick move.

We then get the best scene with the episode, just inching out the climax as the three simply talk, remince on old times, have a good rib like old friends would. It feels natural and wonderful to watch and gets even better when the three hear the radio and end up having an impromptu dance and musical number. Also Jose’s umbrella is also a flute somehow.

Point is the boys have a good time and Donald gets carried away, with the boys planning a world tour. Huey, while happy to endulge his uncle in a badly needded ego boost, isn’t happy to endulge this and scrooge is unwilling ot pay, more resonably this time. Huey eventually talks him out of being a moron and tells him he has to tell the honest truth and while that dosen’t work this does.

So as Donald goes to face the music, we have come to our climax. Phrasing.

The Finale: Ay Carumba

So we come to our finale. Backing up a scene or too to the B-Plot, webby is interviewing a local about the festival when she gets stuck in a loop. So far in the episode we’ve had hints something is up with the people as they go all yellow eyed.. and webby finds out why as she notices the “person” she was interviewing is, in a hilarious and disturbing review.. a horrignly realistic hand puppet.. and upon stealing Louie’s phone, she points out there’s no shots of anyone’s feet.. and the reason why is that the giant flower the feast is about is a mean green mother from outer space and he’s bad. And Webby finding that out’s got him fighting mad. Webby and the boys naturally run to warn the remaning boy and scrooge and they all run out only to get blocked out of town and captured. Dewey looses his phone inside the plant monster.

In a great joke, Scrooge ended up actually throwing his back out with the old man act, so our heroes are all captured and it’s up to our stars to save the day. So while his family is in peril, Donald finally comes clean with Jose and Panchito naturally being upset.. for a second before Jose admits he lied to and an irate panchito.. is forced to admit he also lied. Jose is a flight attendant, hopefully he’ll get his own mini series where he accidently murders a dude on disney plus, which is a nice update of his globe trotting ways, as it’s a resonable way for someone with no money to get around the world these days and Panchito is a birthday party muscian. They all however chuckle over this realizing they haven’t come as far as they thought.. and they still have each other. It’s a nice way of modernizing Rosa’s jobs for them and their hard luck lives he set up and I love this. IJt’s just a sweet emotoinal scene that makes donald, and his friends, realize they aren’t faliures and life isn’t just about reaching some arbitrarity goal.. just like Soul taught me aka the actually great movie I watched on Christmas Day. But since Donald’s family is in peril Jose suggests theys till play the gig.. just like they did ion acapulco thus we get the second best scene of the episode and another worthy rendition of The Three Caballeros as our heroes beat the shit out of the plant, free the kids and the plant straighens out scrooges back.

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It’s beautiful, psycadelic, and utterly awesome. Seroiusly the bright boldend colors are awesome and so’s this sequence. Easily one of the show’s best.. and it’s a show that contiains the greatest scene in television history

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So that masterclass concludes with Donald signing.. badly.. and blowing the plant hte fuck up. Our heroes win and head off in the sunchaser. No idea what Launchpad is up to, probably has another ex in the area. Point is our heroes win, Dewey deletes his photos because “If there was no pics it didn’t happen” (So wise) and Donald decides to get the band back together, prompting scrooge to do an animal house on Panchito’s guitar... you.. you know you have to pay for that right? you aren’t a loveable frat man and he wasn’t ‘singing and I gave my love a cherry. Your obligated to get him a new guitar. You know that right?

So with that the episode wraps. This is a pretty good episode. While the subplot is bad and it should feel bad the main plot is emotional, well done and really adds more depth to Donald’s character while giving us a hell of a show with the cabs. The College Band background gives the boys a unique flavor this time around, not musically but in how they know each other and helps set it apart from the countless other reunions. It’s a truly bright, colorful and fun episode with some great gags and great performances. As I said Puerto and Paulo really knock it out of the park as the boys and while I would’ve preferred Jamie Camil, Paulo was still utterly excellent, though Puerto was the clear standout of the two. While their second apparence would be disapointing characterization wise, overall this was a fun introduction to two of disney’s best into it’s best universe and one of Season 2′s Standouts.

Next Time on the Ride of the Three Cablleros: we begin our massive finale look at The Legend of the Three Cablleros. Donald gets dumped by a nightmare of a person and finds an inhertance, new friends, and some sort of hot adventure god in his new cabana. Good times. Until then goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

#ducktales #donald duck #panchito romero miguel junipero francisco quintero gonzalez #panchito pistoles #Jose Carioca #webby vanderquack #scrooge mcduck #dewey duck #huey duck #louie duck #Abe Simpson #the town where everyone was nice #The Three Caballeros

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janeyseymour · 3 years

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Secret Santa

My wonderful friend Ay had an idea to do a white elephant with this bunch? I don’t really understand white elephant, so I changed it a bit, and uh... this was born. I hope you enjoy!

Every year since being reincarnated, the queens did a secret santa gift exchange. This year, they added the entire diner crew. Fluff ensues.

Christmas was coming, and as usual, Jane was in the Christmas spirit as much as anybody else.

“Every year, we do a secret santa exchange between the queens and I know for a fact the others wouldn’t mind if you and your family joined in on the fun!” the queen explained to her waitress friend.

“It honestly might be better that way,” Aragon let out a laugh. “We all end up finding out who our secret santa is before we exchange gifts anyway.”

“We’d love to do that!”

“Sounds great! So, we normally draw names, well... tonight. And then, on Christmas Eve we usually exchange gifts. Although, I’m sure we could do another night if you would rather celebrate Christmas Eve with just Lulu and Jim. You’re more than welcome to hang out with us that day too though! And oh, Becky, Dawn and Ogie will surely be around too right? Maybe even Cal? We’d be more than happy to have you all. Although, again, it really wouldn’t be offensive to us if-”

“Jane, you’re rambling.”

“Oh, dammit. Sorry,” the silver queen apologized.

“There’s really nothing to apologize for. We’d love to celebrate Christmas Eve with you, and I’m sure everyone would love to participate in the secret santa exchange!”

The group of thirteen gathered at the diner one night, ready to pick names out of a hat.

“Okay, the rule is, if you pick yourself, you have to redraw. We don’t need another situation like last year,” Jane laughed, giving a pointed look at the fourth queen. The previous year, Anna had picked herself and bought herself a new car- one she crashed and totalled approximately a week later.

“Oh god, don’t remind me Seymour,” the red queen groaned in embarrassment.

“Who’s first?” When no one made a move, the blonde looked towards the youngest one there. “Well Lu?”

The girl in pigtails stuck her hand in the bowl with all of the names and picked. Thankfully, she was excelling in her reading and knew how to read each and every person’s name there. She opened it up, not letting anybody see who she had, and grinned.

“You didn’t get yourself, right love?”

“Nope! I got the perfect person!” Jane. She had gotten her Aunt Janey.

The group continued to pick until everyone had someone. Nobody had gotten themselves, and everybody had kept it a secret.

“So the other rule is it has to fit in a plastic bag from the diner. That way, when everyone brings their presents over, it isn’t given away who had who based on the bag everyone carries in. “And yes, we learned this from previous years.”

Cathy laughed, fondly remembering the time she had figured out who had who based on the bags they all carried in and who ended up with the gift bags before they had even started opening presents.

“And one final thing, keep the name of the person you have in your hand. That’s the tag we use so we can’t identify others by their writing.” Kat let out a laugh, remembering she knew in previous years who her secret santa was based on handwriting alone.

And so, there they were on Christmas Eve, having eaten more than they had on Thanksgiving and laughing more than they ever had.

“Lu, are you excited for Santa to come?” Anne bounced the little one in her lap.

“I am! I hope Santa brings you guys everything you want too!” The girl beamed, always thinking of others. “Can we start our secret santa present thingy so I can go to bed so Santa can come?”

“I think that’s a great idea miss Lu!” Jenna beamed at her daughter. It was becoming a hassle to get her daughter to go to bed these days, so her wanting to go to bed was a welcomed change.

“So, how do you guys run this thing?” Becky looked towards Jane for guidance.

“Well, we usually all sit on the floor in a circle,” Jane began and gestured for everyone to move before continuing. “And since we all put our bags under the tree, why don’t we just all pass the bags out? Lulu can start since she’s the youngest, and then whoever her secret santa is can go next and so on. Who wants to play Santa this year?”

“Me!” Lulu’s hand shot up, and she was out of the second queen’s lap in an instant.

The little one had passed out everyone’s presents, and

“Go ahead little Lu,” Anne beamed, hoping that her younger friend would like her gift.

The girl opened her present with no hesitation, her mouth agape once she saw what was in the bag: a new apron with all of the queens’ assigned colors in stripes with the addition of a purple stripe. “Woah! This is amazing! Thank you secret santa! I love it!”

“Who do you think gave you the gift?” Jim questioned.

“I don’t know, but whoever did, thank you!” Lulu exclaimed, already having put the apron on proudly.

“Hun, the point of the game is to guess who gave you the gift,” Becky told her gently.

“Oh!” the girl laughed, a bit confused but happy to go along with the game. “I think... Lina!”

“Wasn’t me mija,” the first queen shrugged. “Guess again?”

“Aunt Janey?”

“Good guess love, but it wasn’t me either. One more guess,” the silver queen laughed.

“Annie?”

“Bingo!” The green queen exclaimed. Lulu immediately launched herself at the woman with space buns.

“Oh my gosh Annie, thank you so much! I love it!”

“I’m glad you like it! I worked pretty hard on it!” Nobody but Jane knew the truth in that statement. The second queen had caved and asked- no. begged- Jane to teach her how to sew in order to make this present.

“I love it! It has all of your colors from the show! But, what’s this purple here for?”

“Well, I figured, you might like to have your own color!”

(Lulu would claim her favorite color was purple for the rest of her life.)

“Okay Annie, it's your turn to open your present!”

“Wheels for my heelies? Bro! This could be anyone!”

“Look a little closer,” Becky stifled a laugh.

“What? Wait, turtles? This could only be from Dawn!”

“You caught me,” the waitress with glasses blushed.

(The silly queen would always make sure to put these wheels in when Dawn was around.)

“A new turtle pin!” Dawn grinned and happily attached it to her shirt. “Thank you to uh,” the waitress glanced at it and remembered all of the queens’ respected colors. “Catherine!”

“I think it’s safe to say everyone here has earned the right to call me Catalina, or even Lina,” the first wife said genuinely.

“Thank you Lina.” Dawn smiled at the nickname.

(That pin became her second favorite- right under the turtle pin that Ogie gave her as a wedding present.)

“These are beautiful.” The golden queen admired the beautiful earrings that she had received.

“Any guesses?”

“Jane?”

“It wasn’t me, and I really don’t know who it’s from,” the blonde said earnestly.

“Cathy?”

“Not from me.”

“Jenna?” The head waitress shook her head no.

“What the-”

“It’s from me,” the usually gruff cook said shyly as he raised his hand quietly.

“Thank you Cal.” Catherine went about taking her Christmas earrings out and putting her new ones in. “They’re beautiful.”

“I hope you like them.”

(Catherine wore them to a press junket. Cal noticed and smiled to himself. He was glad she liked them enough to wear on a red carpet. When the gold queen was asked about the beautiful earrings, she was happy to tell the world a close friend named Cal gave them to her.)

“A new apron? And a new spatula?” Cal looked confused. In reality, this could be from anyone. “Jenna?” the brunette made a ‘no’ gesture. “Jim?”

“Nope.”

“Look a little closer at the spatula,” Cathy spoke up. “ Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers” was engraved into it.

“Shakespeare?” Cal looked a bit bewildered.

“It means that if a cook can’t bear to eat his own food, he isn’t a very good cook, and we all know you’re one of the best around,” Cathy explained, a tint of red shading her face. “And I’ve noticed that your apron is stapled to keep it together. Figured you might like a new one.”

“I- Thanks Cath.” The man smiled one of the most genuine smiles any of his coworkers had ever seen. Jenna would be sure to tell Cathy how much that present had meant to him, because the lord knew that Cal wasn’t very good at expressing his feelings.

(It didn’t go unnoticed that the spatula was used exactly once before it hung in a shadowbox that the cook would touch for good luck every time he walked into the diner for the rest of his time working.)

“Bookmarks? This could quite literally be from anyone,” the writer laughed. “Who do I have left to choose from?” She surveyed the room before noticing that a certain mother wouldn’t look her in the eye. “Jenna?”

“Yeah?”

“How did you know I needed new bookmarks?” She truly thought that only her fellow queens would pick up on the fact that she was using strange objects as bookmarks.

“I’ve seen the way you’ll use anything as a bookmark, but I’ve never seen you use a proper bookmark,” Jenna explained. “For crying out loud, I saw you use a soda can tab the other day.”

“I-” the sixth queen was truly stunned. And then, she got a closer look at the bookmarks. They were beautiful- all different shades of blue, but each had delicate details and accents with her fellow queens colors. “These are beautiful. Thank you.”

(She would go on to use these bookmarks for the rest of her days, alternating between the different bookmarks.)

“A new pie dish!” the baker exclaimed with glee. “Oh how wonderful! Thank you!”

“Who’s it from?” Jim questioned.

“It’s from-,” Jenna eyed up the pie dish for a long while before catching that on the side in small and crisp writing it read, “ all i wanna do is bake... all i do is sing... all i do is bake and sing” “-Thank you Kat.”

“You’re welcome,” the pink haired queen tried to say it casually. “Hope you like it.”

“I love it. And I love the reference to the musical.”

(Whenever she brought over pie to the queens from that day forward, she made sure to bake it in the pie dish that the fifth queen had gifted her.)

“A book on American history...?” Katherine grinned, knowing exactly who gave it to her. “Thank you Ogie.”

“I thought since you liked British history so much, you might like to read up on American history now that you live in the states,” Ogie offered. “If you don’t like it though, I can surely think of something else to get you.”

“That won’t be necessary. I love it. Thank you.”

(Kat would stay up late into the night reading about the fascinating history of the country she now resided in. Cathy would find her asleep the next morning with the book in her lap before leaving the room. She returned with the bookmark matched with her friend’s color and bookmark the page for her, but not before attaching a sticky note that read, “ I expect this to be returned to me when you wake up.” When Ogie was playing Paul Revere the next time, the fifth queen was in the front row watching her friend reenact her new favorite part of history.)

“Wow! This is beautiful! Almost an exact replica of the one the Paul Revere wears in my reenactments! Thank you!”

“Well, who do you think got it for you hun?” Dawn also admired the new coat her husband had just been given.

“I- I- I, Cleves?” he guessed. Surely, this was a rather expensive gift, and everyone knew that the red queen had money to spare.

“Nope, wasn’t me.”

“Becky?”

“You wish. I’m not going to encourage your-”

“That’s enough Becky. My daughter is in the room,” Jenna scolded her boisterous friend.

“She won’t encourage his what, Mama?” the little girl in the room stared up at her mother with wide eyes.

“Nothing to worry about hun. Just some adult stuff.” The baker hoped that would be enough. It seemed to work- the girl was back to asking Ogie who he thought gave him the coat.

“Jim?”

“I thought you might like to have it the next time you go on for Revere. That other guy’s coat is huge on you.”

“Thank you Jim!” The elf-man lunged to hug his friend.

“This tie is stunning Jane,” the lanky doctor said confidently.

“How’d you know it was me?” The silver queen was shocked. She didn’t think it was that obvious who she had. She certainly didn’t slip up and tell Jenna either.

“It’s silver.”

“Oh.” In all honesty, the blonde didn’t even realize she had bought a tie in the color that she had been assigned all those years ago. She was just drawn to it.

“Thank you.”

(Jim wore the tie to the second opening night for SiX on broadway many years later. Jane cried when she recognized the tie.)

“Aren’t you going to open your gift?” Cleves asked the third queen expectantly.

“Oh, I guess I just got so... wrapped up in watching everyone else open their gifts!” The punniest queen grinned.

“Just for that, you lose your turn. You go last,” Cleves retorted as she went to open her present.

“Well, I only know one woman who would buy me a designer athletic bag. Thank you Becky!” the red queen acknowledged the rowdy waitress.

“Yeah, yeah. Not a problem. I figured you might like to carry your things in it instead of that small little bag you have.”

“Thank you.”

(Anna of Cleves would use that bag until it ripped, and then she retired it so that she could keep it forever. Becky would be happy to buy her another bag when she needed it.)

“Cleves!” Becky gasped.

“What?”

“These shoes!”

“I’ve seen the shoes you guys wear while you’re waitressing. I read up on these shoes a lot. They’re supposedly really comfortable and they’re stunning. All leather.”

(Becky was more than happy to throw away the ratty pair of shoes she had been wearing since Jenna started working at Joe’s Diner all those years ago and replace them with the shoes Cleves had bought her. And when a new pair showed up at her house a few years later with a note that read: bitchin’ kicks! , well, Becky let out a full-on belly laugh.)

And that left Jane to open her present.

“Well, go on, open it hun,” Jenna encouraged her friend.

Jane was expecting some sort of artwork from the little girl who was no doubt her secret santa. What she wasn’t expecting was a handmade mug with the little girl’s thumbprints in the shape of a heart- under it reading “ Best Aunt”. At the sight of it, the blonde’s eyes welled with tears.

“Thank you Lulu,” she choked out.

“What is it?” Anne asked, curious as to what could elicit such a reaction from her costar.

“It’s a best aunt mug,” Jane whispered.

“Hey, I thought that was me! You little rascal!” both Anna and Becky exclaimed at the same time.

“D-do you like it Aunt Janey?” Lulu stood from her spot in her mother’s lap and resituated herself in the third queen’s, hugging her.

“I absolutely love it, and I love you. It’s perfect. Thank you so much honey.”

(Jane would never use another mug again, nor did she let anyone else in the house use it. It was her mug, and no one dared to touch it.)

After the gift exchange was over, the group settled in to watch a movie, more than happy to spend all of the time in the world together. The youngest member of the group hadn’t strayed from her surrogate aunt’s side, more than happy to snuggle into the warmth that the older woman radiated. It wasn’t long before she was snoring quietly in the arms of her favorite queen.

“You’re all more than welcome to stay the night if you want,” Catherine offered knowing how tired the bunch had become.

“As much as we’d love to,” Jim began before Jenna interrupted.

“It might be easier to have her just sleep here instead of trying to get her into the car and then into bed without her waking up.”

“That’s a fair point. But, all of the gifts are at our house babe.”

“Hey, it’s not a big deal if you guys stay, and it’s not a big deal if you don’t stay. We all know you’re all gonna end up here again in the morning anyway, so it’s totally up to you.” Anne waved a dismissive hand.

“We wouldn't want to impose,” Dawn muffled a yawn.

“We’ve got more than enough room between the living room and the basement, but it’s up to you,” Cathy mumbled, half asleep against Catherine.

“If you guys don’t mind,” Jenna smiled. The six queens all quickly reminded her that it was their idea. “Okay, so Santa’s presents are still at my house, so we’re gonna have to-”

“I’ll go with Jim and get it all together for you, don’t worry Jenna,” Ogie offered.

“I’ll go with them. They need a man to get this job done.” Cal stood and grabbed his coat, the other two men following suit.

“Alright girls, head to bed, Jenna and I can stay up for the boys.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Becky grumbled, picking herself up and heading towards the basement, pulling a half-asleep Dawn with her.

“Goodnight Janey,” the queens all stood and kissed the mother figure of the house on the cheek before retreating to their rooms.

“I better take Lu down-”

“You guys can stay in my room. I’m sure Annie won’t mind a bedmate for the night.”

“I can’t take your room from you.”

“You can. I insist. Lu isn’t going to sleep on one of the couches!”

“But it’s your room.”

“Okay, I do have that pullout in my room. I can sleep on there, and the three of you can have my bed.”

“I’m not taking your bed from you!”

“Well Lu surely isn’t sleeping on that pullout! Not the night before Santa’s coming!”

“Lu can stay with you then. Jim and I will take the couch.”

“But, you’re going to wake up sore.”

“So would you if you slept on it.”

“But you’re my guests.”

“We’re hardly guests at this point.”

“You don’t live here.”

“We might as well.”

“Just take my offer.”

“You’re sleeping in your own bed Seymour. Lu can stay with you, and Jim and I can take the pullout. That’s final,” the brunette turned on her mom voice.

“Damn Hunterson. No need to pull out the mom voice on me!”

“There is a need!”

“Okay, okay!” Jane laughed putting her hands up in mock surrender. “I suppose you win this round. Let’s get her to bed before the Santas arrive.”

The men arrived a while later, promising the two women who had stayed up that they could take care of setting out all the presents.

“Dawn and Becky are downstairs. There’s more than enough room for all of you to stay down there comfortably,” Jane informed them.

“Jane’s been kind enough to share her room with us for the night,” Jenna told her husband. “Lu’s gonna stay with her and we’re gonna stay on the pull-out. Hope that’s alright.”

Jim nodded before instructing the other men on where to put Lulu’s presents.

Although the two women had been told they were more than welcome to go to bed once Jim, Ogie, and Cal arrived back, they stayed and watched them diligently. Satisfied with the display that had the queens’ presents to each other (because of course they all got each other presents on top of their secret santa exchange) as well as the additional presents from the diner gang, everyone set out to bed.

Christmas Day had arrived, and at exactly 5:03 am, Jane Seymour was woken by a small child poking her cheek incessantly.

“Aunt Janey!” she whispered. “It’s Christmas. Do you think Santa came? Do you think Santa knowed I stayed here instead of at my own house?”

“Lu, it’s 5 in the morning. I don’t know if Santa came yet. Why don’t we give him a couple more hours to make sure he knows you’re here and not home?”

“This is like my home!” the little one whisper-shouted, melting the blonde’s heart.

“That’s so sweet of you to say hun. Why don’t we go back to sleep for a little bit though? It’s very early, and you know how your girls like their sleep.”

“Hmm,” Lulu thought this over for a second. “I guess you’re right. Good night Aunt Janey. Merry Christmas, and love you.”

“I love you too little Lu,” the blonde sighed as her surrogate niece snuggled into her side for a few more hours.

Opening presents was about as chaotic as anyone could guess in the house with thirteen people in it. After presents were done, Cal set out to make breakfast for everyone, muttering that if he couldn’t do that, what kind of cook would he be? It didn’t go unnoticed by the writer that he used his new spatula and apron as opposed to one of the spatulas in the queens’ house, the first and only time he ever used the kitchen tool.

“Hey Jenna?” Jane called from her place on the couch. The baker looked over at her friend inquisitively. “I have one more present for you.”

“What? You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Well, maybe it’s not for you, per se. It’s for the little one inside of you.” The third queen stood and walked towards the Christmas tree before almost magically producing one last present from under it.

Jenna opened the present with care and glanced at it before bursting into tears.

A simple onesie that said “ Heart of Gold, Green, Silver, Red, Pink, and Blue” .

“We thought it might be nice to give you for the new baby. We already love him or her so much.”

(When Olivia Pomatter arrived in the world, it was the first onesie the Hunterson-Pomatter duo put their new daughter in. Jane cried.)

#six the musical #six musical #waitress the musical #waitress musical #jane seymour #jenna hunterson #six fanfiction #six the musical fanfic #six the musical fanfiction #six fanfic #waitress the musical fanfiction #waitress the musical fanfic

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blackfemmecharacterdependency · 4 years

Text

6. Passion Project

“What the hell am I reading?” The woman squealed in his ear, “And why is it ALWAYS something bizarre with you?”

“Did my favorite perennial flower get my emails?”

“Simon… you do know that I have both college AND a job to do, right? That not all of us achieve our dreams the first try?”

“I pay you good money for the work that I ask you to do!” Simon complained. “Unlike your day job that both pays you less than your male counterparts and less than you deserve in general.”

“Yeah, well… I live in the real world. Not like there’s some magical train to take me away from society and all it's problems. But, seriously… researching is one thing, but this feels oddly like stalking. First of all… I had to do some very illegal things to get this information - which, yes, I went ahead and did it, because by the time I got to that point I was feeling a little bit insulted by the thought of failing. Secondly… who IS this woman, Simon? How do you even know about her and what are you going to do with this information?”

“I met her in my everyday life and was interested in her, but found a simple background check difficult. I was people watching for a new story, but it’s become more like a passion project, now. But, I feel like you’ve got a lot to tell me about her!” He was teeming with excitement.

“I… found out things, things that I never would have wanted to ever know about anybody and am now honestly considering charging you for the therapy it’s gonna take me to get over this information… Where in your everyday life did you meet this person?”

“Why… what’s… what’s wrong with her?” Simon asked.

“A LOT. But… I don’t know… I guess she’s doing better, if you’re just seeing her out and about, but… I just…” Tulip yelped.

“Tools???” Simon called out.

Deep breathing. Then, she was back. “Sorry. Mikayla’s out, so I’m by myself and EVERYTHING is startling me. I’m gonna send you everything I found and my charges for this information. And Simon… please don’t ever send me anything like this again, and I mean it.”

“I only wanted to find out if she changed her name and why. How difficult could the information have been?”

“Most people don’t just change their names out of boredom, Simon. Also… it isn’t right to look into somebody this way. I’m only giving it to you because I don’t deserve to be the only person who has had to look at this.”

“That bad?” He heard sniffling. “Tools…”

“No, Simon! This is messed up! Don’t ask me for another favor again if you don’t know ANYTHING about the situation!”

“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again, I promise.”

She let out a deep breath. “Is your mom going to the retreat or whatever this year?”

“Yeah. She’s super excited about it. She says that she hasn’t seen yours in too long. Is she going?”

“Yeah, she was able to scrape up this year to reserve her spot.”

“Mom’s already pulling out all of her Single Mom Squad shit.”

Tulip groaned. “I’m really glad that they had a support group and stuff, but honestly. Why did it become their entire personality for so long?”

“Because it was their little escape from having smartasses like us at home.” Tulip laughed and Simon reiterated, “Really sorry about whatever you read about Grace.”

“I… Is this somebody that you think that you could care about, Simon?”

“Yeah?”

“Okay. Just… be careful. I don’t see how they’re even still standing, much less how they’re in a position to care for someone else. I don’t know if I’m more afraid that you might get hurt if you get attached or that she might, but… it just looks like it’d be super hard to build with this person. They’ve got… a lot of... history.”

“She’s tried to warn me of that and I ignored her and will most likely ignore you.”

“Well, I did my part, anyway.”

Her name was not Grace St. Catherine… Well, it was, because she had it legally changed four years ago. But it had been Grace Monroe when she was born… up until when she was 10.

She was kidnapped when she was 10. Apparently there was a ransom requested, and whenever it was set to happen, the kidnappers took the money and did not return the child. Nobody who knew her before saw her again for 8 years.

When she was 18, she was arrested for assault and when giving her name to arresting officers, said 148, but eventually Grace Monroe. From there, she was discovered to have been missing for 8 years and her parents were contacted.

The Monroes conducted every possible test available to check the well being of their now 18 year old daughter. She was treated for several illnesses, including STDs and a number of mental issues...

She was committed at age 18, and declared a ward of her parents, instead of convicted, and spent the next three years recovering. At age 21, she was allowed to be classified as an adult. She changed her name, and lived with her parents until 2 years ago...

When she began working at the bookstore...

Tulip had even been able to find court documents, police records, and psychiatric files. So… yeah. He owed her big time, even beyond payment for having read even a portion of this stuff. Some of it was simply things Grace had reported to her doctors. Some were things that she had not spoken of, but there was physical evidence enough to grant some ideas.

Years of damage to her uterus… Bruises and scars on her back, knees, thighs, wrists… A symbol carved into the back of her neck… He clicked on the images given from medical reports and saw the same A that had been spray painted on targets’ doors. He now knew who these people were, and why they deserved whatever Grace and her friends were doing to them. He looked at the photos of the girl before her disappearance vs the teenager in the mugshot. That didn’t even look like HIS Grace. She was the same person. He saw familiar features - her perfect round nose and beautiful full lips, the shape of her face a little more shapely there - probably wasn’t eating as well… but… that was a stranger. Only her eyes looked the same. Passionate but filled with pain. Beautiful and wide enough to get lost in, but dark, cold, and freakishly mysterious.

He quickly called her and she picked up, “Did I not just see you a few hours ago?” she teased.

“I was just thinking about you… hoping that you’re okay tonight. Are you okay?”

She laughed, “Are you?”

“I just… want you to know… whatever happens, I’ll always be here for you.”

She was quiet for a long time. He wondered what she was doing on the other end of the line. She was looking at a selection of masks and knee pads, but her mind was no longer on the outfit for her Date Night, but the man on the other side of this phone conversation.

“Thanks, Simon… Um… Are… you sick? Is something happening to you? This just really feels out of nowhere and quite frankly, I’m a little worried.”

“There’s nothing to worry about! I’m fine. I just… really care about you, and had to tell you that.”

Grace could’ve sworn that she saw a chorus of red flags being twirled around before her. Dancers, circling her and performing tricks with them. She was never one for rose colored glasses. She learned a long time ago that those weren’t for her… so these were red flags. She also knew that she often saw red flags where there were white ones. Because she didn’t believe in surrender, only blood for blood. She was angry in general, and usually seeing red. Simon’s red flags were probably no more red than any other poor guy that tried to simply make her smile over the past few years. But then he said, “Grace, I lo…”

“Simon, I really can’t do this right now. I’ve got something I’m in the middle of. So, like… Just… I’ll talk to you another time.” She hung up and snatched a mask that looked like it was crying blood and a pair of purple knee pads. “Not L words, Simon. For fuck’s sake…”

Simon had learned so much, then she was just gone. She wasn’t at the bookstore in days and whenever he finally asked her coworker, they said that she had a no call, no show and they hadn’t heard from her since. She didn’t respond to any of his texts. She seemingly deactivated social media (or worse, blocked him), and she wasn’t even staying at home, because he drove by several times for two days, then literally camped outside for another two. If she was inside, she hadn’t answered, and he hoped that she wasn’t just ignoring him pining through the door. He hoped that she just wasn’t there to hear him beg her to please at least tell him what he did wrong.

He went into the flower shop and the guy that he had become super familiar with as “152” online, even though his nametag said “Heath,” asked him what he could help him with. Simon ordered a bouquet and wrote out a card for Grace, apologizing for whatever he did wrong and asking her to come back, He sighed and asked Heath, “Could you make sure that Grace gets this, please?”

“Grace?” the guy repeated, eyeing Simon suspiciously. “I don’t know any Grace, Mister.”

“148, maybe?”

Now, the guy looked downright ready to fight. “I don’t know what you mean, but you’re making me uncomfortable, so I’m going to have to ask you to leave, now.” He even tried to refund him for the flowers.

“No, no… Please, just… tell her that I’ll be waiting, if she ever feels better…” He left and Heath followed him out of the door, watched him get into his car and drive off before he went back in to call Grace, panicked about that visit.

“Who the hell is this person and how does he know where I work?” Heath asked.

“Let me guess, a little taller than me, skinny, blond with gray eyes and something on his head trying desperately to be a ponytail? That was Simon. I must’ve mentioned the flower shop, or something.” She knew that she never had, but to tell her friend that this person had potentially stalked her and learned about him in the process just seemed like it would cause more harm than taking the blame.

“You must’ve mentioned it? Grace. Either you mentioned it, or you didn’t, and YOU would know. It isn’t like you to be careless about our personal information!”

“I know, I know, but maybe I said that it was my favorite flower shop or something. Heath. You know that if you want, I can get you a job at basically anywhere else that I own.”

“I like flowers!”

“Then, I’ll buy another flower shop you can work at, if he made you feel threatened.”

“Are you safe? He seems a little attached. He bought a really expensive bouquet and left a card. It’s sealed but I can read it to you.”

“No, I’ll stop by. I’ve got some job hunting to do, but…”

“Why don’t you just work somewhere that you’re familiar with, or somewhere that you own?”

“I don’t know. Because, I’m suddenly hyper aware of how messed up I am again, and I wanna feel like a normal person.”

“Well, I hate to break it to you, but normal people don’t get to just start over when life seems to be too much. We’ve gotta just continue to live it out, and change only ourselves, and maybe eventually our circumstances. Normal people would have called out of work (if they could even afford to) and came back, whether or not they were better and pushed through being miserable.”

“Are you suggesting that I return to the bookstore and ask for my job back?”

“Yeah. If it’s normal that you’re shooting for. But… I’ve got the feeling that you’re avoiding this creep.”

“I think things are moving way too fast. That’s terrifying.”

“Good news… that’s terrifying for normal people, too. Not everything that we do and feel is because of what the Apex did to us. If your manager likes you and values you, you can probably coax them into forgiving you for vanishing, with a good sob story.”

“Gonna go with dead homie,” she said. “Meds, etc. The whole works. If that doesn’t work, guess I’ll buy the bookstore. I really don’t feel like looking for another job, anyway… And I guess I can’t avoid him forever.”

She was back at work the next week. She noticed Simon sitting in the coffee shop whenever she came in. She skipped going for her old routine, to clock back in and get to work. She had to take down the Read Across America stuff and make sure to have all the Easter and Earth Day stuff situated… When was Easter this year? She checked her calendar as she grabbed her legal pad to start planning displays whenever she almost ran into Simon. He’d come over when he saw her return to the floor. She was startled. Then annoyed. “Simon. Please…”

“What did I do?”

“You’re… getting a little bit too… familiar. You didn’t do anything, I just don’t know how to handle having somebody else in my space this much. I just… need some space.”

He frowned and nodded his head, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Okay. You’re the boss.” She wanted to say something… explain why she was like this… why she could only trust her friends, who were more like her immediate family than her parents… even that she desperately wanted Simon to be in her space and to wait for her to be comfortable with having him there…

But, she couldn’t find any of those words. Even if she had, what if she were wrong? What if Simon catching feelings would be the worst thing to ever happen to her, or to HIM, for that matter. She watched him go, and hoped that after she had some time to chill out a little bit, she might be able to contact him again, and get another chance. So, she watched him leave the bookstore and get into his car. He peeled off, and she didn’t know if that meant he was angry or if there was a fluke with the car. She just hoped that he didn’t just show up at her friend’s job or anything else like that. Or something worse. The last thing he wanted while sad was to get on her friends’ bad side. The last thing she wanted was for him to learn that the hard way.

Simon overthrew every piece of furniture in his home. Samantha rushed into her room and hid, terrified of the noise. He cried, shook, paced…. How could he show her that he was on her side? Why did she want space?? Was she afraid of him??? DID SHE HATE HIM???? He flopped onto the floor, holding his head and shivering with tears, trying to catch his breath.

He needed some place else to handle dealing with her, he realized as he glanced around his demolished home. A storage unit, maybe… He collected all of his stuff pertaining to her and put it all together. He stuffed it into one of his bags and put it into his trunk. He could clean up his house whenever he stored things away safely. He needed a big storage unit. He had a feeling that he was going to be collecting more while giving her some “space.”

This was how he might cope. He turned on the light in the new storage space and set down a few boxes. He hadn’t been back into the bookstore. There was no need. He wasn’t writing right now, anyway. He had more important things to do. He’d printed out everything Tulip had researched for him and made plans to visit places he highlighted from all of the files. He got some photos professionally printed up - some poster size, some not as big, and some he simply just had various photo sizes. He just thought they would make nice decor for his new space. Grace had deactivated, but he still had just about every photo of her saved to his phone or computer, and they had taken a few as well…

He also… was starting to take them of her whenever he watched her… He just really missed her. It was only a couple of months in her presence, but that was longer than he had been interested in another person in a while, and he had never been this interested in anyone before. Any time he ever thought that he might be going too far, he reminded himself that she had both done and been through much worse than anything that he was up to at the moment, and that became his truth up until the very last time that he ever had to tell himself anything.

That was May. By May… he didn’t think. It was simply part of his lifestyle. Following, watching, studying, photographing, sometimes recording. But, she still hadn’t reached out to him, and he wasn’t sure if she wanted him to reach out to her. He tried to test it, by leaving her a bouquet of those red poppies that he’d seen her and her friends put on their friend’s grave. He watched, recording her reaction whenever she got home and saw them on her doorstop. She looked around, startled, kneeled to check the card. “Missing you. - S” She looked… relieved. He wasn’t sure who she thought they were from, but she grabbed them, went inside, and moments later, came out with an overnight bag and her turtle. She didn’t come home for days.

Next, he texted and said, “Hey. Sent you flowers. My mom asked about you. Hope you’re okay.” He watched her check the text before she went into the train station, but she didn’t reply. So… she still wasn’t ready, but he was letting her know that he was still waiting. By that time, nothing felt unreasonable to him. He was simply waiting for her to realize that she’d had enough space. He was curious about where she went to when she’d leave for days. The next time he scared her into not staying home alone, he’d follow. It was all that he could do at the moment.

07. Things Went Wrong

#AU Infinity Train #Infinity Train #Nesha Fanfiction #Infinity Train Fanfiction #fics #People Watching

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selfcareparker · 3 years

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(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)

the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!

also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))

lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA

THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)

SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ

WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down

i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained

music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!

okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.

GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon

🥰

oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333

the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not

i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY

okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.

ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰

(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)

but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.

now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)

your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK

OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on

i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)

i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)

(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)

What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)

#lovely anon #BY THE WAY: do not feel bad or apologise for not answering straight away #you can take your time i know it can be exhausting (not bc its anything bad but just because its so much and so long) to answer to my shit #all at once*#so really i don‘t mind if you take a few days or a week or whatever to respond #or if you want to you can respond bit by bit/topic by topic whenever you feel like it #so you don‘t have to concentrate on an ask and my post for like AN HOUR DLSKJ but rather do it in smaller chunks #if you want <3 #btw i‘m always so scared that i‘ll type lonely anon instead of lovely dldjdjsksk so if i ever do that i‘m just being #(cue your autocorrect dldkdj) a dumb bitch #its 1 am now sorry if there are any mistakes (i‘ll stop apologing from now now lol but i still am sorry you have to read my word vomit lmao)#*apologis #*from now on #omg

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londonspirit · 3 years

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Occasionally, Dan Levy will pick up his phone and send a text: “Can you believe it?” These messages are sent to Annie Murphy or Noah Reid or Emily Hampshire or Karen Robinson, former inhabitants of Schitt’s Creek, titular town of the series Levy co-created with his identically-browed father, Eugene. What Levy can’t quite believe is that a CBC and Pop network show that aired in the U.S. after reruns of The Young and the Restless became a no-shit international phenomenon and won every major 2020 comedy Emmy from Outstanding Series to Outstanding Contemporary Costumes, plus awards for the show’s four main cast members: Levy, Levy the elder, Murphy, and Catherine O’Hara.

Not that Levy has any qualms about the best thing that’s ever happened to him. Or, more accurately, the best thing he’s ever made happen: In addition to creating, writing, and starring as skeptical scion David Rose on Schitt's Creek, Levy occasionally directed episodes and sourced many of the award-winning costumes. But the endless wretchedness of 2020 is perhaps an inopportune time to publicly garner good fortune.

“What this year has done has opened so many people's eyes to so much of the social unrest that is happening in America and really forced people to learn more,” Levy says, sitting in the bland Toronto apartment the 37-year-old is temporarily renting until he can head back to LA. “Read more. Educate themselves more. Check their privilege more. And yet…” Levy’s magnificent eyebrows unfold from a furrow of probity to an arch of delight, and his mouth into a crooked tilde of a smile. “There are moments when I think it is important for your sense of self to also be OK to say, ‘Something good happened to me this year, and I worked really hard for it.’ And so did a group of really talented people that I love. You're kind of caught in this place where only you can talk about it amongst yourselves.” Levy’s conversations with his co-stars are couched in language familiar to anyone who doesn’t want to give off the vibe of an Instagram caption on a pandemic birthday trip to a private island: "Well, obviously, you know, this is not of much significance" compared to everything else that’s going on. Still, Levy has to acknowledge that, yes, a good thing did happen; after all, he says, “You're talking about breaking records at the Emmys!”

Since he began social distancing, Levy has engaged in something like a fame-offset program, matching his good fortune by taking, publicizing, and raising money for University of Alberta’s online Indigenous Canada course. Levy’s queasiness about his success happening with a 2020 backdrop seems to stem from goodness so pervasive he’s caught himself thinking, Am I going to seem too, like, sincere? (When I ask if he believes he’s a good person, Levy frets, “Is being a good person something you can proclaim? Or is being a good person something that someone has to observe about you?”)

And Schitt’s Creek itself is an oasis of kindness — it doesn’t seem coincidental that after a slow five-season ascent, the show’s viewership exploded in its final year as we quarantined with our own bad thoughts. Levy has said that the arc of the Rose family — a “Balenciaga” to “consignment Balenciaga” to “back to current season Balenciaga” story — is based on the question, “Would the Kardashians still be the Kardashians without their money?” To Levy, the answer is obvious: Yes, and they would be better for it because, he says, “There is a love to that family.” So of course when the Roses lose the fortune amassed from a video rental empire and are forced to move to a Canadian town purchased as a novelty gift, they learn what truly matters.

Levy’s father and collaborator, Eugene, who co-wrote Christopher Guest films Best In Show and A Mighty Wind, says, “There are people who work in the world of comedy where they like to push envelopes in terms of what they can get away with, but that may come at the expense of other people. If it's at all important to you to avoid then you, you know, avoid it.” With the notable exception of programs like The Great British Bake Off — Levy, naturally, used to host the Canadian iteration — it is quite a bit more difficult to be entertaining and kind than entertaining and cruel. But Dan Levy attributes some of Schitt’s Creek’s success to what he calls “a purity to the storytelling and the show that caught people off guard because it was so unexpectedly sincere.” “There was something badass about the fact that it didn't have the kind of edge that people had often equated with cable comedies,” he says.

Making Schitt’s Creek a source of goodness and light was an unrelenting crush for Levy. “How much anger and rage do I have to repress in order to get the light out?” he says, laughing and stroking his elderly dog, Redmond, so vigorously I worry about ginger fur getting on Levy’s David Rose-appropriate black and white JW Anderson T-shirt. “Um, at times a lot.”

When Levy was working on Schitt’s Creek, he was picked up every morning at 5 a.m. and driven to set, where he would rehearse and rewrite scenes. Next was making decisions about sets and wardrobe fittings for cast members like O’Hara. Moira Rose, the actor mother of Levy’s character with a grandeur as flamboyant as her choice of syllable emphasis, might have to go to meet someone who makes her feel exposed. Levy would supervise an outfit selection that functioned as a billboard for her emotional state. “How do you express vulnerability?” Levy asks. “Well, you put more clothes on, and more aggressive clothes on, so as to armor yourself.” Levy needed to approve budgets, which didn’t increase even as the show gained more attention. He would act and sometimes direct, and then be back in wardrobe picking out the right statement necklaces for O’Hara to wear to buy a used car.

After filming ended, Levy went to the writers’ room to work for a couple more hours. He’d get home at 8 p.m., quickly eat dinner, and write until 2 a.m. on some nights. Then he’d sleep for two hours and get in the car to go back to work at 5 a.m. When shooting wrapped for the year, Levy went into post-production, spending months in windowless rooms. Once a season was finally completed, preparation would begin for the next one. Levy charged himself with making sure every detail connected to each other and tracked with the personal histories he and Eugene had written for each character before the series began. Eugene can remember only one deviation from those bios during the entire run of the show. Originally, the father of motel employee Stevie had been a roadie for Fleetwood Mac before receiving a restraining order from the band; the detail was later transferred to the father of diner waitress Twyla, who was played by Levy’s sister, Sarah. Several times during the run of the series, Levy developed anxiety so literally paralyzing that his neck would seize up, forcing him to wear a brace and receive chiropractic treatments between scenes.

“Through every phase of Schitt's Creek,” Eugene says, “Dan had a very strong sense as to what it was he wanted the show to look like and what he wanted it to sound like and what the tone of the show was going to be and what the message of the show would be. He certainly makes himself responsible to make these things happen. He doesn't go with the flow at all.”

Total control let Levy create a perfectly realized world, from the menu size in the Café Tropical to the caws in Moira’s comeback film The Crows Have Eyes III: The Crowening. But it’s perhaps not the healthiest arrangement when the confines of quarantine feel normal to you. “Over the past six years,” Levy says, “I really haven't been outside that much.”

When he was a boy, Levy became so anxious that he did not want to attend birthday parties. He did not want to go to summer camp. He did not, in fact, want to engage in any social situations. Levy’s anxiety physically manifested as iritis, an inflammation of the eye which doctors feared would eventually take his vision. It was as if the anxiety that drove Levy indoors had then decided to draw all the curtains.

“I think that came from a deep-rooted fear of knowing that I was gay and not being able to be free,” Levy says now. “By the time I got to high school, when your brain is starting to catch up to your physical impulses, it led to a very confusing time. Because on the one hand, you are now being introduced to things like self-awareness and anxiety. At the same time, you’re becoming more and more savvy when it comes to hiding it.”

The escape was theater. Levy began writing, directing, and performing in school plays, including a student-run stage adaptation of Clue produced during a teacher’s strike. “I was starting to develop a sense of confidence by way of being able to entertain people,” Levy says. “It was like a decoy version of myself that I was putting out there to not have to live with the reality that when the bullying was happening — if someone was calling me a f----t or whatever it was — they were speaking the truth.” What a cursed blessing to discover you have a gift but to understand it as a distraction from who you really are and not as a true part of yourself. No wonder that Levy says of creating a persona — naturally, in the self-distancing second person — “Your sense of self gets chipped away. You lose sight of your own value.”

Levy had a ticker of fears scrolling through his mind broadcasting what might happen if people knew who he really was: “Fear of being ridiculed. Fear of being othered. Fear of exposing something that I think a lot of high school students at the time didn't have the tools to process properly, to make it comfortable for me.”

Then, when he was 18, Levy came out. Actually, his mother, Deborah Divine, invited Levy to come out, over lunch. Levy accepted, and was accepted in return. It was one version of an inflection point that Levy has explored in some of his most impactful work. In Happiest Season, Hulu’s lesbian Christmas rom-com, Levy delivers the film’s high point in a monologue; filmmaker Clea DuVall tells me, “I cried during every take.”

“Everybody’s story is different,” Levy’s John says to Kristen Stewart’s Abby, who is planning to propose to a woman whose family doesn’t know she’s queer. “But the one thing that all of those stories have in common is that moment right before you say those words, when your heart is racing and you don’t know what’s coming next,” John goes on. “That moment’s really terrifying. And then once you say those words, you can’t unsay them. A chapter has ended and a new one’s begun, and you have to be ready for that.”

On the Schitt’s Creek episode “Meet the Parents,” David’s future in-laws discover their son Patrick is gay before he can come out to them. “Did we do something wrong, David?” Patrick’s father asks, inadvertently head-faking homophobia before saying, “The thought that Patrick was feeling like he couldn't come and talk to us about this…”

Obviously not everyone who comes out gets the response they’re hoping for. But like Patrick, Levy had a happy ending sitting in front of him: accepting and caring parents wondering when their son was going to tell them he was gay and trying to respect his timeline for doing so. When I ask Eugene if it’s painful knowing that he could have potentially alleviated the anxiety Levy was feeling by approaching him sooner, he concurs. “I would have done things so much differently, you know?” Eugene says slowly. “I would have gotten more involved in talking about what was going on.” But he doesn’t know that it would have changed anything — after all, the flow goes with Levy. “Not necessarily that we would have gotten any direct answers,” Eugene says. “You can only get back what you get back.” (Levy confirms he was not ready to discuss his sexuality before he was; despite his parents’ openness and love, he had created Schrödinger’s Eugene and Deb in his head, simultaneously welcoming him and rejecting him at the news.)

Newly out, Levy went to college and began dating. However, he says, “I was not in any place to be of great value in a relationship.” Like David Rose, Levy’s pitch tends to ascend on the back half of sentences, making him sound like he’s interrogating his own thought process. “You then get into these habits where you're dating people who are totally wrong for you because they're seeking out people who are a bit damaged,” Levy says, “and you're seeking out people who have one foot out the door so that you don't actually give yourself over in any kind of way.” (After I mention that while watching Happiest Season, I wanted Stewart’s character to dump her semi-emotionally damaging girlfriend and leave with Levy, he says, “In this conversation, I'm brought back to many a relationship [where] ‘RUN’ was just, like, the subtitle flashing for about a year and a half of my life.”)

Dating, then, became another way to keep people out. “I really got to a point where I felt like if I didn't make an active choice to pull myself out of this shell that was becoming such a comfort,” Levy says, “I would not be the adult that I want to be.” He spent a summer in England, answering phones at the ICM talent agency as exposure therapy for speaking, unscripted, to strangers. A month and a half later, he auditioned to be a host on MTV Canada. Levy says it was “the ultimate exercise in pushing myself and getting myself out there. If I could get a job on television asking other people questions — which had previously been on the top five things that I would never want to do — this could be the final kind of exercise in changing myself for the better.”

Like Levy’s high school theater work, his success as a host was a gnarled little monkey’s paw of unfortunate wish fulfillment. He was charismatic on screen and became famous enough to travel to New York on the weekends and get into the clubs he wanted to get into. Levy also pioneered the now-prevalent televised after-show with his The Hills discussion series, which exists in the same tonal universe as Schitt’s Creek: sharp enough to make you feel smart for laughing at it, but warm enough that Lauren Conrad herself was a guest.

But much of the work felt limiting. The questions he had to ask celebrities were pre-negotiated with publicists and written by producers — as Levy notes, “No one wants to sit down with someone from MTV Canada and have a revelatory chat about life.” One of his last appearances before quitting was the MTV Movie Awards red carpet. “You could see a kind of judgment in the people you're interviewing,” he says. “They're not rolling their eyes, but you can feel them thinking about rolling their eyes. And I know that a lot of the times they were questions I didn't necessarily want to be asked if I were in that situation.” Pretending to be the version of himself he thought people would accept, Levy says, “kind of just didn't feel worth it anymore.”

You know the next part. Levy realized he could keep the traits people had responded to when he performed — his charisma, his humor — add sincerity, and still be compelling. He spent half a decade grinding out something that was truly of himself. And through Schitt’s Creek Levy became, his father points out, “one of the top showrunners in the entertainment business right now.” Eugene says, “After the [Emmys] broadcast I think there were probably some executives who — if they even remember us going in to pitch the show — are probably kicking themselves.”

Based on what he does next, Levy is now in the unique position of being able to calibrate how famous he becomes. It’s evening in Toronto, and Levy mulls the question over what simply cannot be good wine; when I ask what kind it is, he says, “Red?” Levy knows he could choose to stay behind the scenes and work on the ABC Studios projects he has in development. But Levy is also in the early stages of a romantic comedy he would star in. He worries that he wouldn’t be able to handle uber-fame with the aplomb his co-star Kristen Stewart does. When they went out to a dive bar while filming in Pittsburgh, he says, “I was just so kind of in awe of her confidence and comfort in herself. She's so at ease — [I say that] as someone who I think will always be on their journey to have that for myself.”

“Dan’s assessment is actually incorrect,” Stewart says later. “But what I have done is try to keep that experience [of fame] fairly insular, not make other people I’m with take on the weight of my own self-consciousness — or, God forbid, have someone think I’m up my own ass and loving the attention. It’s easier for me to pretend [people noticing me] is not happening, even though on the inside I still feel like the world is a big school yard of giggling onlookers. Are they laughing at me? Yes, no… Who cares.”

If Levy ever does find himself in the position of being Stewart-famous, she thinks he’ll be fine. “What I did notice was how absolutely wonderful Dan is with everyone,” she says. “He is so loving and gracious towards people that recognize him. The positive force he puts out into the world is clearly reflected in how people come back at him.”

What Levy is putting out into the world next: “I would like to date more,” he says, shoulders bashfully rising ceilingward. “Circumstance plays such a huge part in what we accept for ourselves. When you're doing something that you love it’s like, ‘I have a full plate.’ Even though [Schitt’s Creek was] super intense and even though at times I need a neck brace, it was never not inspiring, and it was never not thrilling and exciting and totally satisfying. So to [want to] make space for someone else…in a way, it is the ultimate filter. You’re basically saying, do I want to carve out the space in an already full and fulfilled life for this person? And a lot of the time, the answer is no. But it only makes it that much better when the right person comes along.”

For now, Levy’s plate is full of his multiple simultaneous projects. (He says there are more than three but few enough that you could count them on both hands, though he doesn’t want to talk about them in detail until there’s actually something to talk about — if Levy follows the Schitt’s Creek model, he jokes, he’ll “get five seasons on television before anybody sees them.”) Before he begins writing, Levy must make sure his entire house is immaculate. Even today, months after the series finale of Schitt’s Creek aired, Levy is negotiating the length of the “fuck”-blocking bleeps of syndication. But as we have all learned this year, not everything is under our control, even if we are Dan Levy. Stewart remembers him panicking as he tried to decorate a new home and realized none of the furniture he bought made any sense together. “The idea of him left and right showrunning and developing and acting and writing — and then his sweater closet confounding him — was very cute,” she says.

A certain amount of acceptance will be useful as Levy figures out how to follow up a beloved hit show. “The goal was to make sure that the first season was exactly what we wanted it to be,” Levy says of his Schitt’s Creek thought process. “To use the resources that we have as best as we can to get that season out there, so that we can go to sleep at night knowing that if people don't respond to it and it gets pulled off the air, there was nothing more we could have done.” Levy leans forward with a sincerity he’d surely second-guess if he were writing this scene and explains the daunting task of living up to yourself. “That’s the goal of anything I'm gonna do from here on out. It's just, try and do the best job you can. Try to make sure that you're loving it.”

#dan levy #daniel levy #bustle interview #such a beautiful interview #thoughtful and passionate and lovely #and just another of the many many reasons why I've fallen REALLY REALLY hard for this man #not only fucking gorgous #but also kind and GOOD and smart #long post #as in #really long post #SOWWY #but I wanted the whole thing on here #tw: anxiety #just in case

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spiltscribbles · 4 years

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Because It’s All Worth While

~I~

Henry loves his mother most like this.

There’s flower in her pale hair, and dimples on her cheeks, and she’s so happy. Henry remembers Be a calling her the prettiest lady in the whole wide world, knows that it’s true.

“Careful little love, or else all the ingredients will spill out and we’ll need to start all over again,” Catherine toots adoringly, laughter coloring her words and the tinkling ringing in the space between them.

It’s quiet in the castle tonight, mostly everyone— including Grams— have been in bed for hours, but Catherine refused, told Henry that it’s his Seventh Birthday eve and they need to celebrate properly, even if Beatrice is still away in her oh so posh boarding school, and Philip’s with Arthur at a shoot in the Scottish foothills until tomorrow morning. “We need to have our own fun before they return!” She had crowed, and Henry had beamed, he misses the rest of them terribly, but admittedly is all too excited to get to have his mother for himself for so many hours on end.

“Like this?” Henry asks, loosens his grip on the spatula as he stirs the mix , intent on doing it right and making her proud.

“Precisely my darling,” Catherine chortles, thumbs at his cheek dotingly while reaching over to the kettle to pour the pair of them a fresh spot of tea, adding an extra helping of sugar to her own glass. “After this why don’t we go off and you can play me that new lullaby your father has been teaching you, yeah?”

Frantic and disbelieving, Henry nods readily, can hardly wait to show her how much better he’s gotten. Catherine always has the brightest, most wonderful ideas, sometimes he forgets as much. Sometimes she wakes up with no twinkle in her eyes, or song in her heart, and those days are the absolute worst, the days when Henry feels helpless and so sad because there’s nothing he could do to make it better, to make her iridescent again.

“Those days are alright to have my little love,” she had crooned to him when he told her as much earlier that morning, his head tucked beneath her chin and his narrow body nestled into her embrace. “People just feel sad sometimes, and it’s up to the ones who care for them to remind them that they’re loved, and that they will be there once the darkness fades and the sun begins to rise on their hearts once again.”

Henry had understood her words, had found them as magical as every other part of her, but he can’t help that a small— downright selfish— part of him was thankful when she woke up this morning singing Sinatra, and peppering him with sugarplum kisses. He’s happy that he gets to have her for all that she is, but he most understands her like this.

~II~

Henry’s never been this angry before.

He’s literally shaking from it! Never mind the fact that it’s the tale end of a rather brutal winter and he’s soaking wet…. Okay fine, that might be part of it. But even still, Henry is furious and Philip is a God forsaken prat and he hates him more than he could’ve ever imagined hating anyone.

The pounding music from outdoors still hums around him once he’s inside Mertylewood, and Henry can still catch snippets of conversation if he listens hard enough, but he doesn’t care, he wants everything to just go quiet. He never wanted this big old party for himself, or to invite all the blokes from Eton, or to have to deal with Philip and his ego that takes up the entirety of the European continent.

Henry wanted none of this God damn it!

There are tears welling up in his eyes now, and he can feel his face going blotchy, and Henry has no idea what to do, he feels petrified, like his every breath is suspended, like his every step can activate a landmine, like nothing matters. All Henry’s been able to think about for days now are those damn test results, and the tired look on the doctor’s face, and the weak smile his father sported while breaking the news. The news about the cancer, The news that it’s already at the third stage. The news that they’re taking aggressive measures to get rid of it. All Henry could think of is the crack in his father’s voice when he said there’s a sixty percent success rate, when he promised that everything will be fine.

Henry had never fathomed in a thousand years that he would have ever seen that sort of fear splayed out all over his father’s features. His father is fucking Arthur Fox. His father is a real world superman. He’s not weak or fragile or scared. He’s God damn Arthur Fox! He’s the strongest, most brave person Henry has ever known. Something like this, cancer, it can’t take that away. Not Cancer! Not something so mundane, so ordinary, so human. It can’t just scuff out the vigor in his bones, or vitality in his crystal blue eyes. The eyes that made the whole world feel safe. The eyes he passed onto Henry. The eyes henry’s swiping at with a feverish hand right now.

He hears the glass door starting to slide open, tries to muster a smile for Pez but is shocked when he turns around to be met by those aforementioned crystal blue eyes instead. Henry momentarily forgets that’s he’s officially seventeen now, he can’t leap into his father’s arms and sob into his shoulder anymore. Not now. Not when Henry’s half a head taller than him, and not when there’s a crowd of his peers just passed them outdoors. Not when Arthur looks so breakable that a simple gust of wind could tip him right over.

“You aught to be resting,” Henry says in lieu of a greeting, words wobbly and shoulders slumped.

“Come now kiddo, your ma would like a cup of tea and I reckon you need something to warm you up after that show.”

Henry ducks his head, equal parts abashed and ashamed for acting out like that, guided by his emotions over reason. So he doesn’t argue, just follows suit while grabbing a towel to begin drying off.

“Oy Haz,” Arthur starts with a clucking to his tongue, scoops a spoonful of honey for each of their drinks as they sit around the kitchen island. “Pushing your brother into the pool in front o all those people!”

“He started it,” Henry points out, knows that he sounds petulant but doesn’t care. He hates it when his father, his hero, is upset at him, and at least that’s the truth.

“He’s your brother Haz,” Arthur presses, levels him with a glance before taking a sip of his glass.

“He’s an arse!” Henry corrects, feels the curves of his nails biting into his palm with the sudden anger that washes over him.

“Henry you don’t mean that,” Arthur soothes, clamps a hand onto one of his shoulders and squeezes for good measure.

“He thinks that he’s God’s gift to fucking mankind!” Henry very nearly bellows. “He prances around here acting like he knows what’s best for everyone! Like just because he’s Grams favorite that he’s the anointed one! Like he’s the man of the family! Like you— Like you,” Henry’s voice get’s caught on something like a sob and he can’t bare to continue on ranting, just swings his head the opposite direction and begins to quake silently. He won’t say it, he can’t say it.

“Like I won’t be able to do much of anything soon enough?” Arthur finishes for him, speaking the thought out loud without even flinching, so callas and sparing and no, this feels too much like surrender and Henry won’t except that! Not from him! Not now! Not ever!

“This is all going to go away,” Henry tells him in as stable of a voice as he could muster.

“It’s okay if it’s not, Henry you know that, don’t you my boy.” Arthur gently prods, but that only makes it so a fresh round of tears begin to flood in Henry’s eyes, so he stops talking right then, opts to walk over to him and tug him into a hug, and they both feel helpless together and Henry hates everything so much.

“You know Haz, Philip might be the oldest, but that doesn’t make you any less the man of the family.”

“It makes it so my crown ranking is quite a ways lower,” Henry laughs wetly, which makes Arthur throw back his head too.

“I’m serious my boy, without you the family’s just floating around with no direction, you give us that, the sound one right along with your mother.” His gaze is boring straight into Henry’s now and he looks so proud and so honest and so loving. And Henry would really like to tell him. Henry would like to tell him about the school friend of Philip’s who was his very first just a week ago when Henry was so reckless and lost and afraid for Arthur’s diagnosis. He’d like to tell him about the boys he’s kissed before that, and the boys who will surely follow. He’d like to tell him how most days he feels so out of sorts, so wrong footed while in this palace and the suffocating nature of it all. He’d like to tell him that he’s so afraid of what this means, but hates the hiding, love isn’t a fucking crime and he’s sick of acting like it is.

Henry doesn’t say any of that though, because if there’s one thing he knows about himself it’s that he’s a coward and a pitiful excuse for a prince.

Arthur’s features go tight— more contemplative— for a moment, and Henry’s terrified he heard him without a word being exchanged.

“I’m so proud of you Henry, so so proud. Nothing would ever change that. I love you more than the sun and stars, you know that, don’t you my boy?” Henry doesn’t answer, focuses on a point over his shoulder and wills himself not to begin crying again like a damn baby. “I’m gonna be fine Henry, I promise, don’t be scared on my account okay? I want you to live every part of life as freely and ferociously as you can, alright? It’s all worth while Haz, all of it, the good and bad, it’s what makes the world so beautiful.”

Henry nods, once and quick.

“Promise me Henry, please,” and that’s the first time Henry looks at his father and thinks desperate. Desperate to live. Desperate for Henry to agree. Desperate for things he doesn’t even know yet.

“I promise dad.”

They share another hug before Arthur guides him back to the stool and they drink their teas and they talk about everything that doesn’t matter and they don’t go outside for the rest of the evening. And it’s only sorta wonderful because Henry feels it now, the clock that’s ticking. He knows it in his heart that this’ll be one of the last birthdays he’ll ever spend with his father, and that’s so damn tragic.

~III~

Henry’s childhood was colored with laughter and painted with sunlight, composed of days playing pretend with an ever ebullient Beatrice— Bea. Bea who was strung together with cotton candy chortles and a steel sort of resolve. Whenever they were making believe she was always the pirate captain, or princess warrior or the best knight there ever was. Henry had always been the prince in danger waiting for her to save him.

Henry still thinks Bea can save him from anything he needs, but knows that it’s time for him to finally return the favor.

“Do you remember those wretched cinnamon scones Grams had catered for your thirteenth birthday?” Bea asks him as they promenade down the busy London streets. Her chestnut curls fall limply over her shoulders and her dark eyes are glassy with an emotion he can’t parse out. She’s always known every layer there was to Henry, had never needed to ask, she just knew, like some sort of superpower, but she’s never let Henry see the chinks to her own armor. Not until nearly half a year ago now, when he grabbed her shoulders and told her he couldn’t take losing her too. When Henry found her outside that club lost off something he couldn’t figure out and when he saw the way her papery skin clung to her bones and how the circles beneath her eyes were as dark as the night sky. Henry hadn’t seen any of her hurt until he was suddenly exposed to all of it, all at once, in such a horrendous way. He shouldn’t be surprised that Bea’s gone back to building up her walls, firmly placing her self back into the older sibling slot, but Henry doesn’t like it anymore. Would rather see her beginning to slip, at least that way he could help much quicker than before.

“Do you remember us soaking over a dozen of them to put’m in Pip’s trainers?” Henry says, is thankful when she squawks with laughter.

Another pregnant silence collapses over them, and Henry isn’t sure how to crack it. This’s her first full week out of the rehab center, had said she made it pointedly so that she’d be here for his nineteenth birthday. But the thing is that it’s also the first birthday since their dad’s death, and since Catherine’s dark days became more often than not. Pip’ off at service and Grams never really counted in the first place. So now the pair of them are just meandering the familiar blocks and trying not to think about anything that hurts.

Jesus Fucking Christ is that more difficult than Henry had thought.

“oh!” Bea perks suddenly, begins to tug on Henry’s arm while racing down through the throng of people.

“Oy, have you gone mad!” Henry cries, suddenly understands once they stop in an open park filled with all sorts of different pugs.

“It’s an adoption spree!” Bea explains unnecessarily, but it’s the first time in too long that she’s got a smile that touches her eyes and Henry has missed that look so achingly that he can’t find it in his heart to argue.

“I can see that,” he says instead, flinches back when a particularly loud Labrador barks their way.

“Oh how precious!” Bea croons, picks up one to dote on with kisses.

“That’s unsanitary,” Henry feels it important to say, is answered by Bea’s waggling tongue and another round of barking by the dog in her arms.

“Charming, the both of you,” he sniffs, walks off in the opposite direction so to toss out his old drink and wait for her in the cafe down the way. That is until Henry stumbles across a rather small pup, one with such big brown eyes and the most adorable floppy ears, and the cutest little button nose.

“He’s a rescue,” the woman at the counter says, appearing seemingly out of nowhere and making it so Henry stutters back.

“Oh, erm a rescue?” he asks, pale brows hiked.

“An orphan we found on the streets, couldn’t be more than a couple months old,” she continues with a sage nod. “All of the animals are up to date on their shots, so you can hold’m if you want? Promise he doesn’t bite.”

Henry doesn’t think twice before readily agreeing, a small part of him privately thinks it’s a humorous sight that this oblivious woman is handing the Prince of England an orphaned Beagle on his birthday, but most of Henry is to busy fawning over the pup and how precious he is.

“He likes you,” the woman notices with a kind smile, and Henry feels himself flush with glee.

“We’ll take him!” Bea, as omnipotent as ever, tells her while passing over the black card she keeps snuggled in her bra of all places. “Consider it a birthday gift baby brother,” she winks and Henry thanks her, beyond touched.

“Oh wonderful! Now what name should I put on the certificate?”

Henry thinks of his father. Of him telling him that it’s all worth while. Henry thinks of bright Sunday mornings spent with his family when he was being brought up, of his mother’s laughter and trading barbs with Philip and Bea. He thinks of his father’s low but melodic voice singing his favorite toons.

There's a starman waiting in the sky He'd like to come and meet us But he thinks he'd blow our minds There's a starman waiting in the sky He's told us not to blow it 'Cause he knows it's all worthwhile

“David Bowie please.”

The woman looks slightly confused as she walks off to collect the correct paper work, but there’s a sort of serene understanding that comes over Bea, and he knows he’s made the right choice.

She stands on the tips of her toes to peck a kiss to his cheek, and Henry folds into her embrace.

“You can breathe again Henry, everyone’s safe and Dad’s still with us. Just breathe,” she tells him quietly, and it’s the first time that the tension he’s been carrying around in his chest begins to loosen.

~IV~

The club was pulsing with the typical brand of ear shattering music, a throng of raucous twenty somethings, and the pungent cocktail of sweat and ax body spray that always irritates Henry’s sensibilities. But even so, Pez— in his newly acquired pink pastel suit that matches his hair and accents his blue nails— was the loudest presence there. Henry’s thankful that he gets to end his twenty-third birthday away from all of those strangers, and instead spend it with his greatest mate in Pez’s high rise, nursing a cup of tea to shake off his buzz, and laughing at Pez’s good natured ribbing.

“I’ve got a meeting early tomorrow with Philip and some of the other investment holders,” Henry says in explanation for his less than celebratory mood for the fifth time that night, only half as many times as Pez has rolled his eyes at him.

“’S your damn birthday you wanker! Philip can piss off!”

“Would you like to tell him that, or shall I?” Henry asks with an owlish blink, takes another sip of his jasmine tea.

“You didn’t even get any tale!” Pez continues to lament, forearm over his eyes and collapsed dramatically over his sectional like he were on some sort of Downton Abbey spinoff.

“You’re being lewd,” Henry toots with a snicker, admittedly still pretty sloppy from his pair of gin and tonics.

“Oy don’t even front H!” Pez harrumphs, more than a bit surly. “That bloke from your Shakespeare class was eyeing you all moony the whole damn evening!”

“So,” Henry sniffs.

“I thought you were just sleeping around with Alexander? Not exclusive with him!”

Okay Pez does not have the right to do that, to make Henry go flushed and make his stomach tumble itself into knots at the thought of Alex, at the memory of their lips wrestling with one another that first night, of Alex on his knees, of their Parisian assignation that felt as if it leaped right out of the pages of his most beloved novels. As if Jane Austen was penning his romances here on out.

It’s still surreal, unbelievable that this crush he’s been fostering for so long has actually manifested into something real, something so wild and splendid and miraculous. Something tangible.

But no, Henry needs to shake those thoughts out of his head, carve back his clear and distinct boundaries. He needs to stay safe.

“Of course we’re not, erm— We’re not exclusive.”

“You just passed up a sure lay for no reason then?” Pez needles, and Henry can read it for what it is. He sees the intent behind his eyes, and the warning in his tone. He’s known Henry since they were fifteen year old gits, knows him better than even Bea. He was there when Arthur died, and was there when Henry learned to be alright with it. He was there when Henry first took note of Alex Claremont Diaz ands listened to Henry waxing poetic and spewing curses over him for years on end at this point. Pez was there only a few weeks ago when Henry told him about their first actual rendezvous with a frothy voice of disbelief and his eyes glazed over with glee.

Henry knows that Pez is trying to protect him from feeling too much before taking account of the inevitable consequences.

“It’s only because of my meeting tomorrow Pez, nothing more. Alex had nothing to do with the decision,” he can taste the lie as it spills out and he knows that Pez can detect it as simple as breathing. Henry’s heart stilts, waits for the blow Pez is surely about to swing, the reminder of Henry’s position and the caution of being safe with his heart. Neverlands are only meant for bursts of joy and not for forever, Henry knows that, but maybe Pez saying it out loud will help.

“It’s alright you know,” he says instead, completely betraying Henry in his time of need. “It’s alright if Alexander’s the reason, maybe that means something, maybe you can let yourself—“

“Good night Pez,” Henry cuts in before he could finish that sentence, can hardly imagine having that argument now, not when everything feels so tenuous already. Like Henry’s finally soaring, finally breathing like Bea advised so long ago. “I’ve got to get up early.”

“Alright H,” Pez says, frowning and a little sad but Henry doesn’t bare to focus on it for long.

~V~

Henry wakes up on the morning of his twenty-fifth birthday by feeling the sunlight peering through the window and panning across his bare back. Still groggy and exhausted from last night’s surprise party, he nestles deeper into the sheets, is momentarily curious why he doesn’t feel Alex’s arms around his torso, but his concerns are belied by the scent of burnt toast painting the air and clacking pans in the distance.

With a yawn, Henry sits up now, welcomes the newest addition of their family— a husky named Eleanor— into his lap, and waits for Alex to stumble into their bedroom in his ratty basketball shorts and mussed hair that Henry spent most of the previous night tugging on with writhing pleasure.

“Morning sweetheart,” Alex greets with a infuriatingly attractive smirk as he sets Henry’s breakfast— a cup of Earl Grey with a rather pathetic looking omelet and side bowl of fruit that Henry’s sure has been in their fridge for nearly a week now— on their nightstand.

“I don’t have to eat that, right?” Henry says, near urgent.

“Rude and unwarranted,” Alex gripes, tosses one of Eleanor’s treats to the other room so that he could take her place straddling his lap. “And after I spent all morning slaving over that god damn stove, and for what? Just to hear you bitch about my cooking prowess?”

“You’re just. So good. at so many. other wonderful things love,” Henry says between kisses of hello that he peppers across his collar bone and cheeks and the corner of his perfect mouth, thrilled at how Alex melts into him, rocks against his hips and presses tight enough that Henry is abuzz with all sorts of aching emotions. Elation and pleasure and longing and wanting and just merely content.

“Alright prick, good save,” Alex snorts, cups Henry’s face into his hands and kisses him properly, nice and thorough. “I made us reservations at that snobby German brunch place you like in Bushwick, but I gotta admit I’m feeling kinda hurt over the snub.”

So damn lovingly, Henry flips him over so that Alex is preening and wiggling beneath him, a pixilated gleam to his dark eyes.

“Let me apologize adequately love,” Henry pouts.

“That’s all I ask sweetheart.”

Alex doesn’t have to say anything but Henry knows it in his bones that when they kiss it’s something that’s meant to last for all the eons to come. He knows that he can have Alex, can have happiness and not be afraid of the consequences. When he kisses Alex on their bed on the morning of his twenty-fifth birthday Henry knows that life goes on and sometimes it’s better than you could have ever dreamt of in your wildest fantasies.

#firstprince #Henry Fox Mountchristen Windsor #Alex Claremont Diaz #Red white and royal blue #rwrb #belated birthday FIC for my love #SPILT INK

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yourdeepestfathoms · 4 years

Text

time to play your dead man’s hand (Day 1)

Life is Strange AU!!!! I don’t even have the first chapter done. It’s too long for Tumblr all together.

Also part one is kinda a test. I don’t know if I’ll continue this, but it people like it I will. But if this only gets, like, 10 notes then I’m not gonna slave myself over the LiS script to write this correctly.

Also also: I literally had no idea who should be Anne’s stepdad, so “Edmund” is just a filler name. If anyone knows someone who would make a good step father for her, please let me know!

One more thing- The Anne in this is Bowman!Anne! Because I like her more than Millie even though her character is supposed to be punkish

TW: Gun violence, death

——————

Part One- Chrysalis

The first flash of lightning wakes her. She cannot really recall falling asleep, but she is certainly awake now. The sky turns white again and then the rain, hard and relentless, begins. Another flash of lightning and, this time, thunder accompanies it. The massive boom shakes her to her toes and makes her feel small in comparison.

Her senses are a mess. She can hardly smell through the rain, and all she can see is the dark until the lightning intermittently burns the sky.

She’s lying face-down in the mud. The brown sludge slides down her face, slippery and grimy. It coats her clothes, but the rain is quick to wash it away and replace the drench with some of its own. She nearly slips as she’s pushing herself up to her feet, suddenly shivering.

The thunder cracks again, but this time she hears something inside of it. A shout. Several shouts, like the wail of anguished souls. She sees lightning, and then in the fading light, she sees shadows leftover.

She’s on a sloped path that has turned into a river from the rushing water. Her shoes and socks are soaked in an instant, already rubbing her feet raw and chafing blisters against her ankles. She tries to speak, but her throat is closed up in horror.

Where am I? What's happening? She thought, looking around. A storm? Why am I in a storm?

A burst of lightning torches the sky, splitting it in two in a magnificent silver slash. It illuminates the towering shape of the lighthouse just up the hill.

Wait... There's the lighthouse... I'll be safe if I can make it there... I hope...

Wind whips at her at dizzying speeds and the rain drives hard enough to push her to her knees. It is only through force of will and sheer luck that she manages not to be thrown clear as she began to stagger up the slippery path and to the cliff where the lighthouse is situated. She could scream, but the storm screams louder and its cries are deafening.

Time ceases to mean much as the storm pummels her and the world around her. She cannot see more than a hand's span in front of your face- she’s having to shield her head and squint so those subzero jerks couldn’t stab her blind. She’s exhausted by the short trek and is nearly prepared to give in to the whims of the storm and let it blow her where it will when she pulls herself up to the top of the incline.

Before her is the ocean, as dark as wine, and atop is a massive tornado. It was much too large to be real, but there it was, caged in flashing bolts of lightning and thick gales.

And it was heading right for Whitby.

Holy shit...

Suddenly, the storm whips up a large boat that had been thrashing in the waves near the beach. It was sent flying, crashing into the lighthouse and causing the top half to come crumbling down, down, down-

————

Maggie awoke with a start. Cold sweat is beaded on her brow and runs like slick snail trails down the back of her neck. She doesn’t scream, thank god, because she realizes that she’s in her art class at school. Warm rays of sun are bleeding in through the window, casting grand, golden shadows across pastel canvases and abstract parchments and colorful tapestries strung up along the walls. There was no sign of a storm in sight.

Woah, She thought. That was so weird.

A line of sweat starts to make its way down her pale face and she quickly swipes it away. Her heart is still racing, pounding painful inside of her chest. She tries to steady it and just focus on the calming voice of Mr. Tudor, the art teacher.

Okay... I'm in class...

At the table in front of her, Agnes Tylney’s pen falls on the floor and she reaches down to pick it up.

Everything's cool... I'm okay...

Catherine Aragon throws a paper ball at Joan Astley.

“Now, can you give me an example of a photographer who perfectly captured the human condition?” Mr. Tudor is saying.

Jane Seymour’s phone vibrates.

I didn't fall asleep, and...that sure didn't feel like a dream... Weird.

“Diane Arbus.” Jane answers. Her voice is like honeyed venom- sweet but stinging. Maggie knew the potency of the poison in her words all too well.

“There you go, Jane!” Mr. Tudor praised, “Why Arbus?”

As Jane was explaining, Maggie looked down at her table. Her basic school needs-pens, pencils, journal- were scattered out on the blacktop, along with her camera and a photograph. When she picks it up, she looks upon the horrid image of her standing in front of dozens of other pictures tacked on her dorm wall.

Look at this crap! How can I show this to Mr. Tudor? I can hear the class laughing at me now.

She sighed and set it back down. Her eyes cast over to the analog camera and she carefully picked it up as if it were a baby bird. She was always so cautious with the old thing.

Her thumb grazed over the washes out yellow top portion before gently pressed a button. The camera flashes in her face, taking her by surprise.

“Shh, shh, shh,” Mr. Tudor piped up. “I believe Maggie has taken what you kids call a "selfie"... A dumb word for a wonderful photographic tradition. And Maggie...has a gift. Of course, as you all know, the photo portrait has been popular since the early 1800's. Your generation was not the first to use images for ‘selfie-expression.’ Sorry. I couldn't resist. The point remains that the portraiture has always been a vital aspect of art, and photography, for as long as it's been around. Now, Maggie, since you've captured our interest and clearly want to join the conversation, can you please tell us the name of the process that gave birth to the first self-portraits?”

Maggie grits her teeth and tried not to sink into the bottom of her chair and evaporate into the abyss. Eyes were boring in on her from all sides. Tiny flames light up in her ears.

“I-I did know!” She stammered. “But I kinda forgot...”

Mr. Tudor narrows his eyes. He usually looks so lax and kind, so seeing him bring out the Disappointed Look cut deep.

“You either know this or not, Maggie.” He said, frustrated, “Is there anybody here who knows their stuff?”

“Louis Daguerre was a French painter who created ‘daguerreotypes’ a process that gave portraits a sharp reflective style, like a mirror.” Jane said, as boot-licking as always. She swivels her head around to Maggie, her eyes gleaming like a hungry tiger that just found its next meal. “Now you're totally stuck in the Retro Zone. Sad face.”

Maggie’s spine chafed painfully against the back of her chair as she hunches her shoulders in to seem smaller. Her ears were fully on fire, now- she hopes her hair is hiding them.

Just as Mr. Tudor is finishing his lecture on Jane’s answer, the bell rings. Students are instantly leaping up and scampering out of the classrooms.

“And guys,” Mr. Tudor says, “don't forget the deadline to submit a photo in the "Everyday Heroes" contest. I'll fly out with the winner to London where you'll be feted by the art world in the Tate museum. It's great exposure, and it can kickstart a career in photography. So, Agnes and Maud, get it together. Catherine, don't hide. I'm still waiting for your entry, too. And yes, Maggie, I see you pretending not to see me.”

Maggie stands up slowly, unfurling her shoulders from their hunched position. As she’s waiting for the muscles to stop aching from the sudden uncoil, she sees Jane beeline to Mr. Tudor’s desk. Maggie rolls her eyes.

Jane doesn't waste a second kissing ass...

She gathers her things and heads for the door. Before she could make her escape, however, Mr. Tudor’s smooth voice rang out.

“I see you, Maggie Wyatt. Don't even think about leaving here until we talk about your entry.”

Maggie tenses and then gives in. She turns around and approaches the front desk. She does her best to avoid Jane’s drilling gaze.

“I'd never let one of photography's future stars avoid handing in her picture.” Mr. Tudor said.

“Do I have to? I just don't think it's that big a deal.” Maggie said.

Jane snickers. Mr. Tudor has an almost-sympathetic look.

“Maggie, you're a better photographer than a liar...” He said. “Now I know it's a drag to hear some old dude lecture you... but life won't wait for you to play catch-up. You're young, the world is yours, blah blah blah, right? But you do have a gift, you have the fever to take images, to frame the world only the way you envision it. Now, all you need is the courage to share your gift with others. That's what separates the artist, from the amateur.”

Maggie can only bob her head shyly and mumbled a soft, “Yes sir.” Mr. Tudor takes it and lets her leave.

Stepping out into the hallway from the art class was like stepping into a hurricane. While the art class was serene and peaceful and illuminated by the sunshine’s warm glow, the hallway was a tiled jungle with fluorescent suns. Student were weaving every which way like colorful, talkative birds of paradise and the teachers peering out from their classrooms were the watchful jaguars. Dozens of conversations were going at once, laughing came from every direction, and the clatters of lockers were white noise for the cacophony. Everyone seemed to know what they were doing, boldly showing off their tail feathers and wings without a care in the world. Everyone except Maggie, that is. She sighed and shoved in her earbuds before she could hear Aragon from across the hall finish her statement about someone being “so fucking shy.”

Her destination was the bathroom, where she needed a serious timeout to unwind from her classroom embarrassment. She made herself as small as possible, narrowly avoiding the rushing figures of other students. Her awkward swivels and side-steps definitely earned her a few odd glances, but she tried to ignore them until she finally got into the safety of the bathroom.

Empty. Good. Nobody can see my meltdown. Except for me.

Maggie washes her face using one of the sinks, letting the chill of the tap water sink into her cheeks. She keeps her hands there for a moment before sighing and dropping them. She takes out her polaroid photo after turning the sink off.

Just relax. Stop torturing yourself. You have “a gift”.

She stared and stared and stared at the photo, but it just seemed to appear worse and worse the longer she looked.

Fuck it.

She tears apart her photo and drops it on the floor. The way the pieces fall to the ground are as delicate as the flutter of the butterfly’s wings that just flew in from an open window. Maggie blinks and follows it. It lands on a bucket behind a stall and spreads its emerald green wings into the light bleeding over it.

Holy shit. Maggie thought. Well...when a door closes, a window opens...or, something like that. She takes out her camera. Okay girl, you don't get a photo op like this everyday...

Maggie slowly approaches the butterfly and takes a photo of it. At the flash, the butterfly takes off, flapping in a blur of brilliant green that almost seems to glow in the air. As it dashed for a safe landing, the bathroom door opens and closes and a guy walks in. Maggie recognizes him as Thomas Cromwell, the richest, most pompous kid on the campus, from his slick hair and letterman jacket. He does a quick scan of the bathroom, not noticing Maggie hiding, and then began pacing. His pale, bat-like face is twisted with enraged horror. He looks like he was about to shatter at any second

“It’s cool, Thomas... Don't stress... You're okay, bro. Just count to three...” He was muttering to himself. “Don't be scared... You own this school... If I wanted, I could blow it up!” He laughed. Craziness oozed from the fractures in his voice- or maybe directly from his fragmented brain. “You're the boss.”

A moment later, the door swings open and a girl strides in. She’s a little heavier set, but carries herself with great pride and power. Her dark eyes are impish and on fire. Green is spilled out over the top of her hair, long, dyed tendrils of emerald coiling with brown locks. When she speaks, her voice comes out in a (familiar) confident growl.

“I hope you checked the perimeter, as my step-ass would say.” She said while checking the stalls. Maggie has to back up in her hiding spot- it’s a wonder neither of them have caught her, especially with how she’s peeking out to watch. “Now, let's talk bidness—”

“I got nothing for you.” Thomas said. He’s trying to keep his composure, Maggie can tell just by listening to him, but it’s about as cracked as his sanity.

“Wrong.” The girl said. “You got hella cash.”

“That's my family, not me.” Thomas grits. He’s grinding his teeth now.

The girl laughed. “Oh, boohoo, poor little rich kid!” Her tone becomes serious. She marches over to Thomas, who is hunched over the sink, bracing himself. “I know you been pumpin' drugs 'n' shit to kids around here... I bet your respectable family would help me out if I went to them.” She leans into his ear, “Man, I can see the headlines now—”

“Leave them out of this, bitch.” Thomas snarled.

“I can tell everybody Thomas Cromwell is a punk ass who begs like a little girl and talks to himself—”

Thomas rounds on the girl. There’s now a gun in his hand, which he must have been hiding in his jacket. The girl backs up into the wall, the fire in her eyes going out in an instant, and Thomas stands in front of her, one arm against the wall beside her head and the other pointing the gun at her stomach.

“You don't know who the fuck I am or who you're messing around with!” He roared.

“Where’d you get that? What are you doing?” The girl babbled. Her fearless mask has dropped in an instant at the presence of a weapon. “Come on, put that thing down!”

“Don't EVER tell me what to do! I'm so SICK of people trying to control me!” Thomas howled. Whatever was holding the crack in his brain together has broken apart at the seams and every bad thing is pouring out at a horrifying rate.

“You are going to get in hella more trouble for this than drugs—” The girl grunts. She can feel the biting metal of the gun’s muzzle press against her stomach. She’s so rigid.

Thomas leans into her ear. His voice is curled with dark ice. “Nobody would ever even miss your ‘punk ass’ would they?”

“Get that gun away from me, psycho!!”

The girl shoved Thomas away from her and makes a break for the door. Her sudden movements jar Thomas and he pulls the trigger. Blood splatters against the wall and from the girl’s mouth as the bullet passes through her stomach.

“NO!!” Maggie screamed.

She’s running out from her hiding spot without realizing it. She stretches out her right hand, as if she thought she could actually do something to help. The gun and the girl are falling to the ground in slow motion. Maggie’s breathing picks up. Everything becomes blurry. Black and white and grey splotches haze her vision. Every nerve is filled with painless liquid fire, buzzing inside of her. Red is the only other color she can see- the dark red of hot blood. Of her blood, maybe. She can’t tell anymore, but, suddenly, awareness returns to her- intense shock fades and leaves behind wet adrenaline in its wake, soaking her to the core. She opens her eyes- when did they ever close?- and finds herself in the art class again.

Warm rays of sun are bleeding in through the window, casting grand, golden shadows across pastel canvases and abstract parchments and colorful tapestries strung up along the walls. There was no sign of a storm- of a gun- of a dead body-

Whoa! What the fuck?! Maggie’s body lurches back in her seat. A few kids glance curiously at her before focusing back on Mr. Tudor, who was giving his lecture on Alfred Hitchcock and photography. How- how— I— She looks around again. I was in the bathroom... He shot that poor girl... I held up my hand...and now I’m back here.

Agnes Tylney’s pen falls on the floor and she reaches down to pick it up.

I already heard this lecture...

Catherine Aragon throws a paper ball at Joan Astley.

Now Joan is being hassled again... And if Jane’s phone rings...this is real.

Jane Seymour’s phone vibrates. Maggie’s heart leapt in her throat and her body flinches as if her fear had taken a physical form and punched her. Her clumsy limbs scramble awkwardly and one arm knocked her camera off the desk. It breaks into pieces upon hitting the ground.

Shit! Oh my god, I cannot believe this... Okay, if I'm crazy, I might as well go all the way... Can I actually reverse time?

Maggie holds up her right hand and, like an instinct knowing when to be triggered, her vision turns grey. She feels like she’s floating, maybe vibrating, and she watches as her broken camera pieces itself together and rises up to sit in its original position. When Maggie releases the force, Mr. Tudor is just getting to his Diane Arbus question. However, Maggie can barely hear him or Jane’s know-it-all answer. She was too busy staring in awe at her hand.

Holy shit. Holy shit! I’m a human time machine! H- how— Okay, okay, don’t freak out, Maggie. Not yet.

She looked at her newly-repaired camera and picked it up. She presses the photograph button and the flash momentarily blinds her. Just like before.

“Shh, shh, shh,” Mr. Tudor pipes up, “I believe Maggie has taken what you kids call a "selfie"... A dumb word for a wonderful photographic tradition. And Maggie...has a gift. Of course, as you all know, the photo portrait has been popular since the early 1800's. Your generation is not the first to use images for selfie-expression. Sorry.”

The teacher’s voice is barely processing in Maggie’s mind. She just couldn’t get herself to care about what he was saying. She was too worried about the girl she had seen die.

If I can go back in time...what if that girl isn't dead yet? Can I save her?

“Now Maggie,” Mr. Tudor is rounding on her, just like he did last time. “since you've captured our interest and clearly want to join the conversation, can you please tell us the name of the process that gave birth to the first self-portraits?”

Maggie opened and closed her mouth for a moment. The words are thick at the back of her throat.

“I-” It’s hard to enunciate properly. If she wasn’t so worried about that green-haired girl, she might have been more embarrassed over her squabbling. “I'm sorry, Mr. Tudor, I feel sick. May I be excused?”

“Nice try, Maggie, but you're not gonna get away that easy. We can talk more after class.” Mr. Tudor said.

Maggie swallowed hard. As much as she loved Mr. Tudor, she really wanted to slap him right about now. She wasn’t feigning illness- she genuinely felt sick to her stomach with anxiety and fear. She was sure she was ghostly white, too. How could Mr. Tudor not see that?!

“Is there anybody here who knows their stuff?” Mr. Tudor asked.

“Louis Daguerre was a French painter who created "daguerreotypes" a process that gave portraits a sharp reflective style, like a mirror.” Jane answered like before. And, like before, she looked at Maggie mockingly and said, “Now you're totally stuck in the Retro Zone. Sad face.”

“Very good, Jane.” Mr. Tudor praised. “The Daguerreian Process brought out fine detail in people's faces, making them extremely popular from the 1800's onward.”

It was Jane’s snide remark that snapped Maggie slightly out of her worried trance. She side-eyed the blonde and clenched her jaw. She decides to test out her new power again and ‘rewind’.

“Now Maggie,” Mr. Tudor said, marking the ability a success once again. “since you've captured our interest and clearly want to join the conversation, can you please tell us the name of the process that gave birth to the first self-portraits?”

“The Daguerreian Process.” Maggie said, practically reciting Jane. “Invented by a French painter named...Louis Daguerre. Around 1830.”

Mr. Tudor looks a little surprised, but smiled at the girl. “Somebody has been reading, as well as posing. Nice work, Maggie.”

Jane gives Maggie an annoyed look, which she can’t help but feel empowered about.

“The Daguerreian Process made portraiture hugely popular, mainly because it gave the subjects clear defined features. You can learn more when you actually finish reading the assigned chapters. Maggie is so far, way ahead of everybody.”

The bell rings. Maggie practically flies out of her seat and began collecting everyone as quick as she could.

“And, guys, don't forget the deadline to submit a photo in the ‘Everyday Heroes’ Contest!” Mr. Tudor said, “I will fly out with the winner to London where you'll be feted by the art world in the Tate museum. It's great exposure and it can kickstart a career in photography. So Agnes and Maud, get it together. Catherine don't hide, I'm still waiting for your entry too. And yes Maggie, I see you pretending not to see me.”

Maggie, you are not crazy. You are not dreaming. It's time to be an everyday hero.

Instead of trying to leave, already knowing she’ll be halted, she hurries over to the front desk. Joan watches her with those lamb eyes of hers from where she’s still seated.

“Excuse me, Mr. Tudor, can I talk to you for a moment?” Maggie asked.

“Yes, excuse you.” Jane said, narrowing her eyes at Maggie.

“No, Jane, excuse us.” Mr. Tudor said. He turns to Maggie. “I'd never let one of photography's future stars avoid handing in her picture.”

“I’m not avoiding, just...”

“Biding time, waiting for the elusive ‘right moment’?”

“Exactly.”

Mr. Tudor chuckled lightly and said, “Maggie, my dear, don't wait too long. John Lennon once said that ‘Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans.’ Go on now, don't let me stop you.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Maggie exits quickly and delves right into the jungle that was the hallway. She pushed through the brambles of students to get to the bathroom, making it there in record time.

Okay, Maggie, retrace every step... I washed my face- She washes her face. I shredded my photo- She shredds her photos. Then the...butterfly flew in- The butterfly flies in. And I took a photo...

The camera flashes. The butterfly leaps up from the bucket and flaps away. The bathroom door swings open. Thomas Cromwell strides in.

Maggie stays hidden behind the stall, listening. She hears Thomas mutter darkly to himself, then that girl enters. She unknowingly taunts Thomas and he soon snaps. By the sudden yell, Maggie knows the gun was out.

She began looking around as the terrified yelling rattles through the bathroom. She dreads the gunshot that was soon to come if she didn’t do something.

She notices the fire alarm on the wall. Grabbing a fallen hammer by the bucket, Maggie smashes the glass encasing the alarm and pulls it. The siren began to wail.

“No way...” She hears Thomas mutter. Then, he grunts in pain as the girl knees him in the groin and shoves him away. Maggie watches in relief.

“Don't EVER touch me again, freak!” The girl yelled before running out.

Thomas totters on his feet for a moment before picking up his fallen gun. He growled softly, noticing the photograph scraps on the floor.

“Another shitty day...” He mutters before walking out.

Maggie emerges from her hiding spot. Cold sweat is prickling on her brow, sliding into her bulging eyes. She doesn’t even bother to wipe it away.

That did not happen! This cannot be real! I just saw a girl get shot and then saved her! What the fuck is going on?

She waits a moment before exiting the bathroom. Outside, the hallway is empty, aside from a few fleeting figures of running students. And the school’s security guard.

Edmund coming at Maggie nearly startled her back into the bathroom. He’s upon her in an instant, his sharp voice tearing strips off of her before she can even think of something to say.

“Hey, do you hear that fire alarm? That means you should be outside.”

“I had to use the bathroom...” Maggie said.

“Girls always use that excuse.” Edmund rolled his eyes.

“Excuse for what?” Maggie said, slightly ruffled.

“For whatever you're up to. Your face is covered in guilt.”

“The alarm tripped me out!”

“Then trip on out of here, missy. Or are you hiding something? Huh?”

Maggie was about to consider crying to get herself out of that situation when Principal Dudley emerged from his office and called out.

“Thank you, Edmund, the situation is under control. There's no emergency here.” He said. “Leave Miss Wyatt alone and please turn off that alarm, since that's your job.”

Edmund didn’t argue, but he did give Maggie a suspicious look before lumbering away. Maggie sighs in relief and starts for the front doors to leave and evade the incessant siren, but Principal Dudley stops her.

“You look a little stressed out, Maggie.” He said. “Are you okay?”

Maggie chewed on the inside of her cheek. “I'm...I'm just a little worried about my...future.” The lie was horrid.

“You're sweating pinballs.” Principal Dudley points out. “Is that all you're thinking about? You can always be upfront with me, Maggie. Or have you done something wrong... Is that it?” He’s making Maggie even more anxious with his prodding. “Well, Maggie? Talk to me.”

Maggie clenches her jaw, then let’s the truth spill out. She had to tell- Thomas was a danger to the school!

“I just saw Thomas Cromwell waving a gun around...in the girls' room.”

Principal Dudley’s eyes go wide, but then his brows furrowed when he really processes what had been said to him.

“Thomas Cromwell. You sure?”

Maggie is shocked at his doubt. Sure, it may be normal to ask for complete sincerity, but Principal Dudley doesn’t seem very convinced at all. He must be swayed by all the money the Cromwell family has. Even then, could he not see how Thomas was breaking apart at the seams?!

“Yes!” She said. “He was in the bathroom talking to himself with a gun. I saw everything! He was babbling like crazy—”

“Okay, slow down, slow down.” Principal Dudley said. “So you saw this...without him seeing you?”

“I was hiding behind a stall.” Maggie said. Impatience and desperation are oozing into her voice. “I have the right to be there. It's the girls' room—”

“I know, I know.” Principal Dudley said. “I just want to be completely clear what happened. Mister Cromwell happens to be from the town's most distinguished family. And one of Blackwell's most honored students. So it's hard for me to see him brandishing a weapon in the girls’ bathroom. So what happened next?”

Maggie went to tell him about the girl and their conversation, but stopped herself. She didn’t want to make herself a suspect if this all blew up in her face.

“Then...then he left. I ran out here wondering what to do.” She paused. “Are you going to bust him?”

“This is a serious charge.” Principal Dudley mutters. “I'll look into the matter personally. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.”

Maggie nodded. She wished Principal Dudley would do more than that, but she should have known. The Cromwell family practically owns Blackwell Academy. She just hopes she didn’t just throw her entire scholarship down the toilet.

She steps outside and is immediately bathed by the warm rays of the golden-orange sun. Beams of light hit the Blackwell campus in just the right way to show off how grand and pristine it was. It was a private school, after all.

As Maggie is walking down the front steps, she notices some papers scattered out on the ground. She picks one up and reads it.

MISSING- KATHERINE HOWARD

MISSING FROM: Whitby, Yorkshire

DATE MISSING: Monday, April 22, 2020

OTHER:

Age: 15 years old

Height: 5’0 Weight: 110lbs

Hair: Blonde, dyed pink Eyes: Hazel

Katherine Howard... She looks so hopeful and pretty. I wonder what happened to her...

Maggie set the paper back down and started to walk to the dorms. As she does, she gets a text from Cathy Parr, a good friend of hers. The girl was asking if she could have her flash drive back. Maggie texts back saying she will and would meet her in the parking lot. However, getting the flash drive was a lot harder than she expected, starting with the way Jane and her goons, Aragon and Jane Rochford, were lounging on the steps to the girl’s dormitory like watchful hawks. When Maggie approaches, Jane stands up with a wide smirk.

“Oh, look, it's Maggie Wyatt, the selfie ho of Blackwell. What a lame gimmick. Even Henry-” She slips for a moment, but corrects herself quickly. “Mr. Tudor—falls for your waif hipster bullshit. ‘The Daguerreian Process, sir!’ You could barely even say that. I guess you got your meds filled.” Behind her, Aragon and Rochford laugh. “Since you know all the answers, I guess you have to find another way into the dorm. We ain't moving. Oh, wait, hold that pose!” Jane snaps of photo of Maggie and sneers. “So original. Don't worry, Maggie, I'll put a vintage filter on it right before I post it all over social medias. Now, why don't you go fuck your selfie?” She sits back down on her perch.

Maggie steps back, grinding her teeth. She looks around the dorm’s courtyard, trying to find something to help her. Anthony Lee and Peter Meutas were throwing a football ball to each other, but Maggie didn’t dare approach boys in their primal sport. Maud was reading on one of the benches and Joan was sitting all alone near the shrubbery, but she didn’t want to bother them, either.

And then there’s a rattle from above.

The school’s most well-known janitor, Duke, is up on a ladder painting. The bucket of white paint he’s using is supposed to be hooked on the side of the rungs, but Maggie watches as it falls and splatters all over Jane.

“No way! No fucking way!” She screeches.

Aragon and Rochford leap up in an instant. Their eyes are wide- a look of such shock is unusual on them.

“You okay, Jane?” Aragon asked.

Jane glared at her. It’s enough of an answer.

“Hold on, hold on, we'll get some towels!” Rochford said. “We'll be right back!”

“So move your ass, before I dry!” Jane barked.

Aragon and Rochford scramble inside. Maggie waits for a moment before slowly approaching Jane- or, rather, the door, but she got dragged into a conversation anyway.

“Uh...hey, Jane...”

“What do you want, Maggie?” Jane hissed. Her eyes are narrowed in a warning.

“I’m sorry about what happened. That was an awesome coat...”

Jane blinked at the passivity of the younger girl’s comment. She loosened up a little and stopped baring her teeth like an enraged white tiger.

“It was.” She sighed. “But there will be another.”

“Well...” The conversation was actually going smoothly. Might as well keep it up and try to get on Jane’s good side so she’ll lay off. “you always seem to know how to pick the right outfits.”

“I do have some talent. Mr. Tudor told me-” Jane stops herself. Maggie is sure she’s biting her tongue.

“I've seen your pictures.” Maggie said. “You have a great eye, Richard Avedon-esque.”

“He's one of my heroes...” Jane’s eyes, usually so judgmental and cruel, scan Maggie without an ounce of mockery in their gaze. “Thanks, Maggie.” She looks over her shoulder at the doors to the dorm. “I hope those sluts get me a towel before they hang a sign on me.” She turns to Maggie again. “You deserve a better shot. Sorry about blocking you and...and the ‘go fuck your selfie’ thing.”

“That was mean...but pretty funny.” Maggie admitted, laughing slightly.

“Just one of those days, you know?”

“I know exactly what you mean, Jane.” Maggie said. “I'll see you later.”

“Au revoir.”

Maggie notices that Jane offered her a small wave. She returns it with a slight smile before stepping into the dormitory.

The dorm building is about as basic as one could get- a long hallway full of doors with one branching path that led to the bathroom. Maggie walks down the corridor, glancing at the slates beside each dorm that could be written on. Hers was blank when she got to her room at the end. She didn’t think much of it and stepped inside.

Home, sweet home. My favorite cocoon...

Her room is a basic setup- bed in the corner near the door with a fuzzy ferret stuffy sitting atop the pillows like a duvet guardian, lanterns strung around the ceiling for lighting, a drawer with a radio at the foot of her bed, a desk, a bookshelf with a few potted plants, a small couch, a guitar, her closet, dozens of photos tacked on her wall. It was cozy, and it was home now.

While she’s searching for the flash drive, Maggie noticed a sticky note on her desk. When she picks it up, it reads, “Hey girl,”-the I has a heart instead of a dot, a little something that made Maggie’s touch-starved heart flutter-“I borrowed your drive so I can watch some flix while I study. If you need it back, just track me down! XoXo, B.”

So it’s in Bessie’s room...

Honestly, Maggie didn’t mind. Bessie Blount was nice to her and super sweet, despite having obvious baggage of her own. She was strong and smart in a way Maggie wished she could be.

As Maggie leaves her room, she sees Maria de Salinas charge out of Bessie’s dorm and lock the door. She leans against it as Bessie knocks loudly.

“You can't get out now, Bessie! So tell me the truth, or rot in there!” Maria growled.

“Let me out, Maria! This is so stupid! You are ridiculous! If you don't let me out, I will scream!”

Maggie blinked. She approaches slowly, but Maria doesn’t glare at her when she gets near.

“Hey, Maria,” Maggie said. “Is everything cool?”

Maria rolled her eyes. “Oh, yes, Maggie. I've locked Bessie in the room because we're ‘cool’.”

“What did she do?” Maggie asked.

“What didn't she do?“ Maria’s anger bubbles up again. “Shes been sexting with my boyfriend, that’s what she did.”

“No I didn’t!!” Bessie yelled from inside the room.

Maggie winced. “Ouch. How did you find out?”

“Uh, why do you care?” Maria said. “Why are you even asking me? You never talk, just zone out with your camera.”

“That's why I'm talking to you now.”

Maria crosses her arms. “What's my last name?”

She’s being tested to her an answer. Maggie blinks.

“Maria de Salinas. Duh!”

Maria is surprised. “I'm flattered. I didn't even think you knew my name at all.”

“Of course I do. Just because I don't talk a lot doesn't mean I don't care. So, how did you find out about them?”

“According to Jane, Bessie would do anything to date a football player.” Maria explained. “She saw the sext. And William won't answer his phone. Once Bessie admits it, she can go. Straight to hell.

“Maggie, I swear I didn't do ANYTHING!” Bessie cried from behind the door. “But I bet Jane did! I know the proof is in her room!”

Knowing that she couldn’t go to Cathy without the flash drive; Maggie agrees to do a little trespassing and snuck into Jane’s room, which was about as pristine and neat as she expected.

After printing an email Jane sent to Aragon about the whole ordeal going down, Maggie returned to Maria and showed her the evidence.

“Of course...” Maria muttered. She turned and opened Bessie’s door. “I'm an asshole. I'm sorry, Bess.”

“You are, and I hope so.” Bessie’s eyes softened. “You really think I'd mess around with William?”

“No. But I get stupid jealous. I owe you dinner. Still love me?”

Bessie smiles and chuckled. “And you do my laundry.”

Maria turns back to Maggie with a relieved look. “Thanks, Maggie. You're like the Blackwell Ninja. Now let's see what William has to say about Jane...” She storms out of the dorm.

“You set me free!” Bessie laughed. “Thank you. Cathy’s flash drive is on my desk.”

Maggie retrieves it quickly and heads out to the main campus. However, she stops when she sees Edmund stalking towards a very scared-looking Joan.

“...so don't think I'm blind!” The security guard was saying. “I see everything here at Blackwell! Do you understand what I'm saying?

“No!” Joan cried. Her eyes are glistening with tears. “Leave me alone!”

“You can't fool me. I know everything about this school. I cover the waterfront. So you better figure out what side you're on...”

“Please, leave me alone!” Joan is crying, now.

Edmund is about to say something else when there’s a flash from a few feet away. He notices Maggie holding her camera and grits his teeth before storming off. Maggie instantly went to Joan’s aid, but the blonde didn’t seem to be in the mood for pity.

“Hope you enjoyed the show.” Joan grits, wiping away tears. “Thanks for nothing, Maggie.”

Maggie watches her run to the dorms with a frown.

Poor girl...

#life is strange au #six the musical #anne boleyn #jane seymour #henry the eighth #catherine of aragon #maria de salinas #maria on the drums #bessie on the bass #jane rochford #thomas cromwell #catherine parr #katherine howard #tw: gun violence #tw: death

25 notes · View notes

fortheheavenssake · 4 years

Text

💟💟 PG MM Anon(II) 💟💟 Interpretation Collection - 9

58. July 9

MM ANON …… HMTQ The long wait ………… BLM Trumps ………… no taxes………… boarding Charlotte 🥳🥳🥳……Boarding George 😱😱😱😱………… open the Jim…………… Brazil el Presidente……… Amber Amber,red……………IOC allow protest? ………… school 😷 masks. ……………cricket lovely cricket ………don’t cruise ………………glee, not today …………… tic-toc down. ……… red crane down.

Thank you😊❤️❤️❤️❤️

Entertainment purposes

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️😊😊😊😊😊THANK YOU MM ANON😊😊😊😊😊😊✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️✝️🌈🌈🌈🌈

July 9/2020

RIDDLE#58

HMTQ The long wait …………

The road going up to Windsor Castle is called The Long Walk. Because of Covid, her Majesty the Queen , will no longer at this point be going to Buckingham Palace. Hence the reason for yesterday’s riddle clue that 250 BP staff are being made redundant. So she has spent all this time at Windsor Castle and is looking forward to going to Balmoral. As far as I’ve heard, that has not been cancelled. I’ve checked again today and I can’t see anywhere where it’s been cancelled. It will be a long wait for her to see what happens , what is the outcome of this Covid as to whether she can ever go back to Buckingham palace and ever resume any sort of duties that she’s been doing for her whole life! I ache for her, it must hurt her to the core because that’s what she’s committed to and it’s so it’s so upsetting.

I also think this is Prince Harry and having him return to the fold after these years of manipulations and machinations and lies and every other adjective that I don’t want to continue to keep saying about that woman Madam. Soon Harry will be reunited with his family if he has already not been. Again l repeat for the 10th time, 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂, I’m sticking with what I have said, I do believe something happened at Canada House and the next day at Harbottle and Lewis. And the quote from Allegedly ANON last night about how things would happen and then the public would be told later. I think that fits exactly with what what what I believe happened. I think the divorce or I’m hoping annulment has happened. I really am hoping annulment but we’ll wait until the time is right to tell us.

BLM Trumps …………

I heard that they were going to do this last week and they’ve done it now. On the street in front of of President Trump’s huge building that he owns or I think he owns it in New York City in huge letters painted in like neon yellow paint, I think it would flash in the dark it’s so bright, Black Lives Matter has been painted along the whole block. I don’t know how the defacement of public property is allowed. I understand that Americans have free-speech under the first amendment, I believe it is, but you can’t yell fire in a crowded theatre and I don’t know how are you can deface public property. Maybe somebody can explain that to me in the comments because I don’t understand it, but I’m not American so I don’t understand that part but please explain it to me.

no taxes…………

I find this very confusing because what I’m reading is that the UK public will have to have a tax increase next year at £35,000,000,000 pounds and it will take years or decades to pay off the £2 trillion debt that this whole COVID19has cost.

The cats are flying to change and it will not be no taxes as a value added tax or the VAT.

Taken from The Sun website

”VAT is being slashed for businesses in the tourism and hospitality industries but what’s happening and what does it mean for households?

What is VAT and what’s it changing to?

VAT (value added tax) will be cut from 20 per cent to 5 per cent for businesses in the hospitality and tourism industries, chancellor Rishi Sunak revealed in his mini-Budget this week.

VAT is a tax paid by businesses to HMRC on the items or services they sell.

It’s typically passed on to consumers in the price they pay for these goods and services.

When will the VAT cut take force?

The tax cut will take force next Wednesday (July 15) and will remain in place until January 12, 2021.

What will the VAT cut apply to?

Booze is excluded from the VAT cut, but it will apply to food and non-alcoholic drinks from restaurants, pubs, bars, cafés and other similar premises across the UK.

It will also apply to accommodation and on admission to attractions.”

boarding Charlotte 🥳🥳🥳……Boarding George 😱😱😱😱…………

OK so we have boarding Charlotte three happy faces with the hats and those blowy things that unfurl Prince George’s birthday is in July 22 he is going to be seven years old can you believe that wow! And then we have B boarding G George with for horrified faces. Well we know it’s not because George is afraid of flying because he absolutely loves it I’ll do all the children. I think this is the first one is it a reference to Charlotte and celebrating George’s birthday the second one I think is a reference to George going to boarding school which has been talked about for a while now and I brought that up in the riddle again yesterday. And I think the four horrified faces of George going off to boarding school would be William and Catherine and Charlotte and Louis that’s what I think this is .

We have been given clues that the Cambridge family is taking a vacation and it would be nice to take it and celebrate George’s birthday don’t you think? Ok so in capital letters we have CBG. In between everything we have three dots with a space three dots with the space and we know it was with MM ANON everything means something.With the talking software you guys can follow along with how my mind works I’m trying to solve these riddles.

I wonder if it’s going to be some sort of adventure vacation because they are all very adventurous Ha I was I don’t know if I should take from this other than vacation CBG.?Costa Rica?I don’t know but I have an idea you could to go to Costa Rica and see the sloth sanctuary I would highly recommend that highly highly highly recommend that!

Thing I know for sure is there’s no way they would go on vacation if things are not settled with Harry that I do know for sure!

open the Jim……………

MM ANON Very much enjoys using the Star Trek reference of Jim that line from Star Trek is Spock but not as we knew him. So in the UK outdoor pools can open July 11 and on July 25 indoor pools and gyms and the like can open then. So yes they will be gyms and they will be open but not as we knew them before. They will be of course social distancing hand sanitizing smaller classes all of the usual bells and whistle’s that go along with the our new normal. I think people will just be glad to get back to their workouts and get out of the house and connecting with people even though they’re 6 feet away or 2 m or one meat or whatever the social distance will be at that time it’ll just be good for everybody physically and emotionally.

Brazil el Presidente………

President Bolsonaro, as I said yesterday was at a press conference and he was wearing mask and he proceeded to tell the reporter that he had tested positive for COVID-19 which when he took off his mask continue to talk but then walked backwards. It was very bizarre. This is about the fifth clue about Brazil and now the president of Brazil also the song Brazil has been used a couple of times in the last week or so. I made a note this morning and I don’t know if anybody else had a chance to read it but I was thinking last night and then have you guys ever read the book the boys from Brazil or seen the 🎥 The Boys From Brazil? The book is written by I are 11 and that’s it it’s a story of how the Nazis some of them the higher-ups and the scientist escape to Brazil and they proceeded to breed a master race of young male clones I think it’s just male been a while since I’ve seen that movie. We do know it’s a no well proven fact but after the second world war ended many high-ranking Nazis snuck out of Germany and took refuge in Brazil. In fact there’s a large population of German people still living in Brazil. The Simon Wiesenthal society has for decades made it their mandate to bring to justice or not you were criminals and many of them have been found in that area rather that country. Now I don’t know if this is related to what the clues are about but I look at what’s happening in the world in the rise of fascism and who the backers are and the circles that Madam floated in literally luscious yachting it’s all about your really dangerous people with a lot of power. So I am just raising this is a question. Is there anything there that might be related to the war criminals or the anything like that and I’m just throwing it out there.

Amber Amber,red……………

Oh this court trial her whatever case between amber Heard and Johnny Depp is just absolutely horrific it’s just all-around horrific. yesterday we heard about what his lunches were she took a picture of his lunch which was a huge cup of whiskey and cigarettes and four lines of cocaine and I forget what else was there and today in court we have them in a rage fight or Johnny Depp hurled a bottle of red wine at her.. Oh sometimes I wish the celebrity stuff that would just be kept out of the papers because this just is nothing but a sideshow of the sadness and with pathetic lives with people who have more money than you and I in than all of everybody on Tumblr put together will ever have and how it’s just wasted. But more than that though, how young beautiful people who are so talented just absolutely waste their lives and how abusive people are. I just find it so sad.

IOC allow protest? …………

The international Olympic committee has been battling with this issue. They have been trying to decide whether or not they will allow or penalize athletes for any demonstration of taking a knee or raising a fist or anything like that. The whole point of the Olympics is to unite the world in the form of athletics it’s kind of a diplomatic effort if you will like. Do you want to kind of be like “Switzerland” but they were a neutral in these kind of political issues. They are there for the sport and for the sake of the sport in and healthy competition not for political opinions and protests. So last I heard and have read they haven’t made a permanent decision about that yet. I know it’s been on the docket for quite some time and they’ll have to make a decision one way or the other. And I think either either way they go in making decisions I will be very upset people on both sides.

school 😷 masks. ……………

Various places are making various plans for back to school in September. The general consensus is the children need to get back to school even out of school for five months and many are falling behind. There are also many children who who miss nutrition if they’re not at school and as we have read and heard about there’s been an increase in addiction increase in domestic violence and that sort of thing and just the change of routine and structure am just been very detrimental to everybody but especially our most vulnerable children. And so part of the expectation will be and I think we need to all look at this going forward is that we will be wearing masks for a very long time. Some articles say this will be the new normal. Some scientists say Covid19 and the like, will never leave us. Going forward this will be our new normal in terms of social distancing in the plastic screens by the tills and between tables and restaurants and mask and all that sort of thing.

cricket lovely cricket ………

Finally sweet finally team sports are resuming. This weekend the cricket resumes and they are trialling a rather interesting thing of course there won’t be an audience but they are trialling putting loud cheers in and the audio as if there was a crowd present, to see if that makes a difference in how the players play. I think that’s a really interesting thing to do. We do know in sports how much the the athletes feed off the energy of the crowd and vice versa it’s all a very what’s the word pause visceral experience he kind of cheering and screaming and yelling when you get out all your frustrations while you’re cheering for your favourite team and it’s a it’s a healthy experience all the way around!

don’t cruise ………………

Well if you’re looking for a holiday they are suggesting anything but cruising! It is always a high-risk activity anyway because there’s so much food on display all the time and there’s all you always hear about food poisoning and bouts of people getting ill on cruise ships from that reason. Now adding Covid19 to the equation, just don’t 🚢cruise! That’s the recommendation and actually I’m quite surprised they’re even doing cruises but I guess they need money so badly that they’ll take whatever bookings they can get.

glee, not today ……………

Glee was a television show on the Fox channel in America about a high school musical club I think. I never watched it but it was immensely popular. There have been a number of young actors suffer from that show that have perished. A young woman by the name of Naya Rivera, her baby child was found in a boat today and the assumption is that she jumped and she drowned herself in the water. Just absolutely tragic and it’s just horrible. Condolences to her family, friends and fans.

tic-toc down. ………

Millions possibly billions around the planet today are freaking out because Tic Tok is down! The app is down is frozen and everybody who had saved Tic Tok messages have lost all their saved messages, their favourites are gone! They have lost everything and they’re not even sure if they’ll be able to recover the app and get it back up and going! So needless to say everybody who has been coming in so enamoured with Tic Tok is really really upset right now!

red crane down.

There has been been a tragic accident in East London today. A crane a large crane, red in colour, you know if those are the things that they use to build things wow I am an architect eh? Sad to say an 85-year-old lady was killed and she’s still with her body is still trapped in the house. They have sent another crane in to help with the recovery.

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

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59. July 10

MM ANON …… fly high Vera…………… Johnny poo…………… Murray mint Kate…………… now Pneumonia …………… Break cover……………… without merit ……… cover up Boris………… stop and search 😱😱😱…………… open theatre …………………… “ we want gan gan !! “ …………… “ we can visit Catherine “ …………… “ yes’ before Scotland “…………… “ clandestine William “ ……… “your grandfather will be ecstatic 🤣🤣🤣”

Entertainment purposes

July 10/2020

💜💜💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈THANK YOU MM ANON🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜

RIDDLE#59

fly high Vera……………

Dame Vera Lynn who song just celebrated have the anniversary at the end of the first world war just a few short months ago. She died just after celebrating that anniversary, she was 103 years old. She is honoured today with a flypast from two Spitfires as crowds lined the streets of her Sussex village for her funeral - on the 80th anniversary of start of Battle of Britain. I Wonder if the Duchess of Sussex was there to pay her respects? She personified the the morale of many soldiers during World War II. The power of music we all know how powerful music it is. Certain songs especially and Till We Meet Again, Dame Vera, Rest In Peace Till We Meet Again……..🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻😢😢😢😢😢😢🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Johnny poo……………

This whole court case between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard it’s just sinking more in a very filthy territory. The female in the relationship allegedly was so mad that the male, was two hours late to her birthday party that she did a BM in his bed. Now there’s some mixup saying it was her dog’s BM was not her own BM. Either way it’s all just terrible.I wonder if this is a precursor somehow, to somewhat numb us to what’s going to come out of the MOS trial , facts that will be made public about madam, facts and the videos related to Madam. We will have heard such horrific things like this and then will hear regarding her it’ll be maybe a little easier to take I’m not sure.What we heard was that he didn’t cooperate with something and she had a BM in the bed kind of like a dog goes BM in your bed or in your shoes if he is mad at you. Just disgusting that adults behave like this I just can’t believe it.

Murray mint Kate……………

This weekend would’ve been the finals at Wimbledon. Today Catherine made a call and she look absolutely gorgeous in green I went to post that to my blog this morning. I made a snarky comment I said soon as that was posted we can expect the next video of Madam should be the same hairstyle as she’s madly looking for a green dress with athletes is on it and a bow that Catherine space was wearing on her left chest.

Catherine was kind of cheeky in how she presented her special guest. It was just her first and then she so cutely told them in the children as who’s are somebody special here with me and it turned out to be so Andy Murray so I needless to say everybody was very excited. They spent time talking about tennis and different strategies that sort of thing. The children also got to ask Catherine questions and then came around to their families and the lockdown. And there were questions about things like what did they do during lockdown. It was just a really nice back-and-forth video call Catherine is so good at that.

Of notes and he worry so anywhere he does have a history of having his name and his face on some mints so I picture here I hope it shows up when I when it’s posted.I also put the link underneath the picture doesn’t show up because I charge for pictures in before and they haven’t worked. I’m not sure if that’s what’s the clue was answered but you do you got lots of information anyway.🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/tennis/article-2402105/Andy-Murray-face-super-imposed-Murray-Mints-US-Open.html

now Pneumonia ……..

Chinese health officials are now saying that an unknown pneumonia more deadly than the coronavirus“ that is “sweeping“ Kazakhstan and it’s actually likely to be Covid19! They are having 32,000 cases and 451 deaths between June 29 and July 5, 2020 in China. In Kazakhstan there have been 52,301 cases and 296 deaths.

Break cover………………

I think I can say, in my humble opinion, that this is our Harry. You all know that I’ve been banging on for years now that he is covertly overtly on her Majesty’s Secret Service. Now that everything has been arranged completed and finalized, they are completely disentangled from each other.Harry can break cover from wherever he’s been staying and just I’m sure just dying to announce the world that is he is free from that horrible horrible SEAHAG!! Every day when I open my iPad I look at Skippy screen is a green is a green the day it turned green I think we will all squeal and I think that will be a squeal and joy heard across the entire world perhaps even universe😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

without merit ………

When I read this headline a few minutes ago or over an hour to go I was absolutely gob smacked disgusted! GM, her attorney has said in court today in New York that the charges against GM are entirely without merit🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 and they want bail granted to immediately that she is not a flight risk!

cover up Boris…………

During one of the BLM riots a woman was seen wearing an anti-Boris tshirt. If you read what it said it was extremely vulgar. Police asked he to cover it up. Well she didn’t take kindly to that and filed a complaint. Today the results, the police officer(s) are forced to apologize. What is wrong with the world? Complete and utter disrespect!! How wonderful next thing is they’re going to make them not just get down on one knee to get down on both an end to pray at their feet?? This is absolutely gusting it really Riles me up because it’s so stupid.

stop and search 😱😱😱……………

In the United States and I think in particular New York State or New York City , they had a program called stop and frisbk. And law enforcement found that to be very effective in stopping some crimes. But that of course was done away with because human rights and all that stuff. So it stop and search was also used in the UK under the lockdown. 22,000 people have been stopped and searched. Now with Black Lives Matter and all the other issues are a cry a racial discrimination has been heard. Therefore an Inquiry will be conducted to review it in fact there were any cases of racial profiling or abuses.

open theatre…….

The government always acknowledged that “some venues which are, by design, crowded and where it may prove difficult to enact distancing may still not be able to reopen safely at this point”.

Outdoor theatres, opera, dance and music can start opening Saturday July 11/2020!! as they take place with a limited audience. Singing and the playing of brass and wind instruments will be permitted in a managed and controlled professional working environment to minimise risk.

How absolutely marvellous this is! I did a fairly long comment in one of my previous riddles interpretations where Piers Morgan was interviewing John Barrowman who is a well-known stage actor. They were talking about the Panto season and how much revenue that brings in for the theatre. Will all theatres being closed for so long without any future date to work towards, if something doesn’t happen with short order they may never reopen. I’m not sure what riddle that was so sorry I should’ve probably looked at which rental it was but anyways Google it.

“ we want gan gan !! “ …………… “ we can visit Catherine “ …………… “ yes’ before Scotland “…………… “ clandestine William “ ……… “your grandfather will be ecstatic 🤣🤣🤣”

Well here we have the Cambridge family desperately wanting to visit her Majesty the Queen. And it sounds like yes it’s a go for the annual trip to Balmoral and in fact that will be the Cambridge just placed a holiday as well at Balmoral in Scotland oh does it get any better oh sigh🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰☺️☺️☺️☺️ . Sounds like before they head up to Balmoral, the Cambridge greatgrandchildren will be going over to Windsor Castle to see Gangan and Himself! How wonderful is that!

As I said yesterday the Cambridges would not be going on vacation if things weren’t resolved with Harry! Yesterday Allegedly Anon and the previous day too, had left us some messages that, especially one that Catherine and William were working clandestinely with the legal team to arrange things for Harry. Sounds like things have been successful and William has completed the arrangements and Harry is a free man!!! This bring me to tears just thinking about that! I want to Harken to something LEGAL ANON made yesterday. Doing the divorce is easy it’s just a slip of paper but all the other arrangements financial another that’s what takes negotiations That is what takes the time , and Madam would , not go gently into that good night, to quote Dylan Thomas. She would be fighting for every ££££ and the Duchess of Sussex title. HMTQ is very happy with this news and she is extremely excited to tell her husband about this news because he absolutely loves and adores Harry.

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

—————-

60. July 11

MM ANON ………… relaxed on zoom…………… Leeds bleeds ………… office no office ………… compulsory …………… Brooklyn!! Yawn. ………… Smith, Will deny …………… “Well” , solve the mystery???…………… STONE cold guilty………… Bollywood in hospital ……………Beach sleep………… Tapes😱😱😱😱………… In secunda Eboracum venit ………… Boo-Hoo !!

Entertainment purposes

Saturday July 11/20

💜💜💜💜🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈😊😊😊😊😊THANK YOU DEAR MM ANON😊😊😊😊😊🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈💜💜💜💜

July 11/2020

RIDDLE#60!!!

Kids I think in total now I am well over 200 riddle interpretations I am so excited!

relaxed on zoom……………

Oh dear Catherine the Duchess of Cambridge how we love her!!! Initially in, doing her zoom meetings and time with in lieu of personal appearances or walkabouts, she was a little shy, but now she’s again, as with everything else, she’s come into to her own and she’s fully relax and is completely herself. I have to laugh Scooby Doo had to put in his comments to in the paper and he stole in my line!!! I’ve been saying this for years about Catherine , that she has fully come into her own!! Scooby I know you read here stop stealing my lines that is plagiarism!!!

Leeds bleeds …………

Everyone in the UK has a favourite football team! Sad to say the team in Leeds has lost a very very very valuable member of its family. Tributes are flooding in to the legendary World Cup winner for England in 1966 Jack Charlton who died at the age of 85 this week. There will be a lot of grieving and memories I am sure and my heart goes out to his family and all his friends and people who worked with him over the years.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

office no office …………

In a big change from his stay home, stay home, stay home work from home mantra. Boris Johnson now says everybody come on over , come on work it’s OK , come on in, to go back to your office, nothing to see here folks, just come on back it’s all right! And they’re having problems with the the tertiary businesses downtown because people are not working in the office or working from home. The thing is that people are getting to like working from home because they could have their own schedule and oh boy we we can’t have that can we can’t have people enjoying enjoying their life.

compulsory ……………

Was released from No. 10 a few hours ago, that the plan going forward will very likely be mandatory use of facemasks in all of the shops. That does not just mean that the staff that means also the people going to shop. So going forward I will suggest you stock up on reusable masks that are of a good quality that you can launder and sanitize and as well I also picked up a box of disposable ones so I have them on hand for when people come and I also bought a giant size of hand sanitizers so just start planning because it is the new normal.

Brooklyn!! Yawn. …………

Yawn is right big boring YAWN ! The Beckhams are never out of the news I’m so sick of this! now we have the 2.0 version Brooklyn Beckham is now engaged to some actress Nicola Peltz so I think her name is. well I’m sure millions and millions will be spent on this I wonder how long it will last yawn yawn yawn yawn is RIGHT on it MM Anon!!

Smith, Will deny …………… “

Oh more American trash news! Will Smith and his wife whatever her name is we are allegedly being interviewed on some podcast I think and she admitted having an affair with some woman. Now I always thought that they had an open marriage every that’s been the rumour for years and years and years and years I don’t know why this is such a big shock especially in Hollywood good gravy.

“Well” , solve the mystery???…………… STONE cold guilty………

Sad sad sad Madeline McCann they’re still looking for her. So they feel they have positive evidence and I’m not sure if the McCanns have even been told what that evidence is but they are searching wells near within I think at 8 mile distance from the hotel that they were staying at in Portugal and when little Madeline went missing. Yeah in the Stone called Yoshi I believe is the fact that the walls are made of stone so they must be pretty certain this is just terrible but there’s no way to sugarcoat any of this is just disgusting evil evil at its worst!

STONE cold guilty…

Another option might Oliver Stone, the famous Hollywood director/mogul. In his memoirs the director of many Hollywood huge films talked about the time he spent in Vietnam during the war. “I actually saw the man I killed which was rare in Vietnam… I felt no guilt he’s dead I’m alive that’s the way it works”.

Bollywood in hospital ……………

COVID-19 is in a rage in India and their Bollywood stars are I think it’s bigger than Hollywood because the population is bigger . They are all actually considered the royalty in in India and around the world actually because Bollywood has billions of fans. So sad to say the king of Bollywood cinema, Amitabh Bachchan who is 77, and his son Abhishek 44 have both revealed that they have COVID-19. Abhishek is married to Aishwarya Rai. She is beautiful, wowza, she is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻for them to recover!

Beach sleep…………

Yes yes yes the ability to go to the beach has been returned and they are taking full advantage of it by not going back home I just saw her sleeping on the beach. Now I think that’s probably not legal I know that it’s not legal in some places however I don’t think that’s gonna stop anybody from it. I read that in the paper yesterday they were already concerned about the lack of social distancing on it on beaches in the UK and I think this will only add to that concern.

Tapes😱😱😱😱…………

GM, or is it OMG!!!!!!!!?????!!!!! The lawyer for VRG It’s saying publicly that the Epstein tapes that GM has, have HRH Prince Andrew is on those tapes. We have no idea the contents of those tapes they could be audio they could be video they could be parties who knows. But it’s just throwing more gas on the fire and again I have to say why is HRH Prince Andrew being singled out??? We have former presidents , we have many billionaires , we have many famous people men and women that have had contact with him and in fact flew that airplane to that horrible island why on earth are they focussing on Andrew!!??!!!

In secunda Eboracum venit …………

Direct translation from the Latin this is second income from the York. Now what does that mean?I mean we know what it means now but in terms of what’s going on what does this mean? Has Prince Andrew and you found another source of revenue? H as someone else been profiting off using York as a second income? This is puzzling to me I find the Latin stuff always kind of stumped me a little bit.

We know that there is no way that UK government would extradite him to the United States for charges should they be entered or even for a simple interview with the F.B.I. Or SDNY again l say, he’s not been charged with anything! There is a pending extradition order from the UK regarding that woman whose name I don’t remember who killed that young boy on his motorbike and then scrambled it out of the UK and flew back to America. America has been clear that they will not be extradite her back to England to face charges, THAT HAVE BEEN FILED!! So there is a rather sticky point there if they were just extra like a regular woman, not the son of HMTQ!

Boo-Hoo !!

This is completely shocking because England is not a Third World country one expects these things to happen in those countries but not not in a first world country. Although as we are seeing the changes that are happening in 2020 the things that we excepted were normal as normal are no longer there. I I keep harkening back to London scoop, who that poor girl, she said up and down and down is up. She got so scared and and she said things that will never be the same once you was you know what’s really going on.

“ ‘Anyone saying all their staff are on minimum wage in the garment industry is a fraud:’ ‘Sweatshop’ owner of Boohoo factory confesses he pays workers a shocking £4 AN HOUR” is the headline of the article in the daily mail. That’s that’s literally the term sweatshop we are sweating for minimal money, I am sure and no benefits of any sort no health benefits no pension plan no sick time and certainly no vacation time. This is disgusting! I feel bad because I use that word disgusting quite a bit since I started this audio thing talking and then thing types for me to save my hands, I found myself talking out loud instead of talking in my head as I’m typing and I’ve noticed how I say certain things with regularity and disgusting as one of them.

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

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61. July 12

MM ANON ……… keep my sex life private…………… farm infectious …………… we don’t have to wear them…………… elephants virus ……………… sad swim ……………… down and out in LA…………… Burton blocks…………ROYAL BUTLER. ………… Fourteen Times!!!! ……………… Ritchies holiday camp …………ATMs lockdown ……………… electric scooters😱😱😱😱😱………… Kate tops poll

Entertainment purposes

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈😊😊😊😊😊😊🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸THANK YOU MM ANON🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸😊😊😊😊😊😊🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

July 12/2020

RIDDLE#61

keep my sex life private……………

Kate Beckinsale is one British actress I have actually seen and other than price of classic classic ones like Helen Mirren etc. and that level. She’s 46 believe it or not and is in a relationship with a young man who is 23. She has been getting trolled online and hassled and every other word you can think of in every social media regarding the age difference in this relationship and any anything else you can imagine they are having to go at her about. She simply wants to live her life and she said she’s not goning to let something like a menopause stop her from enjoying being a woman and having a relationship. And age and quite frankly any of her personal life is nobody’s business. Where do all these trolls come from? Do you not have anything better to do? That would be the day I would go online and tell somebody who they should or shouldn’t date or anything about their sex life that that’s just my mind just it’s just crazy.

farm infectious ……………

At a vegetable farm in Herefordshire, a large outbreak of COVID-19 has occurred amongst the seasonal workers. 73 people have been confirmed positive of having COVID-19.. The produce from this farm are sent to Tesco, Aldi ,Sainsbury’s, ASDA, etc all the usual food stores. so might start to see some empty bench shelves or a massive increase in price I’m not certain of that. this is no workers are all house in trailers. And currently the police are actually guarding the exits so that no one can leave that’s how serious this is.

we don’t have to wear them……………

Masks, we have been been told not to wear them, they’re not helpful, then oh yes you must wear them. Them if you’re outside amongst fresh air you don’t need them and then oh, no you still need them as protecting you and protecting other people. They have been made mandatory in the shops in Scotland both for the staff and the shoppers. Boris Johnson, there’s a funny picture of him in the paper pulling a pint wearing a mask. I think we should all go back to , remember the bubble boy? from Seinfeld? like we should all get big bubbles and then we could just roll around in our bubbles and have like a hole for the bathroom, a hole for food. I guess it’s just crazy already. No now I’ve read and heard they’re making masks compulsory in for children. Try get a child to keep on a mask for more than 1/10th of a second or to wear it properly and avoid touching their face. Oh this is so unrealistic as we prepare to send our children back to school. I’m not being negative, I’m being realistic because you all know little children I mean we know how it is as an adult uncomfortable those masks are, children will have a tough time with that. I saw on the blog the other day somebody had a picture with a mask on their dog or was that it was a cat with a cat like wow I wonder how long the cat kept that mask on for.

elephants virus ………………

In news that is likely to severely distress Prince Harry, because he loves Botswana so much, there is a virus loose amongst some elephants. 400 elephants have died. They don’t know exactly what the virus is but there is some concern that it is possibly transmittable to humans. currently there is a massive investigation underway they’re assessing the water the vegetation in the air the soil anything that could point a clue to what this is.

sad swim ………………

The Glee actress ,Naja Rivera, her body is still missing and she is presumed dead. They’ve been dragging the lake and searching and searching but as yet have not found her body. It’s agony to look at the pictures of her mom and her ex-husband at the lake. There was even a video of her father just kind of losing it and running out into the lake is so sad. She must’ve been in a very bad way to leave a four-year-old child alone on the boat in the middle of the lake and have him witness her it must’ve been so traumatic and he’s old enough to know that those memories are going to be in there somewhere for that child.

down and out in LA……………

Yes fake Madam and fake Harry were seen at a gas station in L.A., filling gas into a Cadillac Escalade. They are both looking pretty rough! Those actors need some grooming basic grooming and oh they desperately need an iron for her!? She needs something for her knees , Lord that woman, you need kneepads her hobbies/activities have so badly affected her kneecaps. Sometimes drunk people or people with bulimia spend hours hurling at a loo, on their knees. I think fake Harry need some new clothes. Maybe we should start a go fund me page for both of these two pathetic people.Always one to merch, wear Givenchy and everything designer, here she was carrying a clear plastic purse, like a little girl who’s two or three carrying their first purse! It was some alleged fertility medication or was an acne medication or was it a fake box everything is fake fake fake fake your fake!

Burton blocks…………

Yet in another case of a celebrity doing what they want to, Tim Burton has erected of a wooden wall on his property. Property is allegedly worth around £3,000,000! not too much eh? The thing of it is, the wall blocks a popular foot path that many people take to get down to the river. We know we like to walk, we like to walk our dogs and we get used to certain things and now that is no longer there. Needless to say the locals are not too happy. I wonder how much time these celebrities actually spend spend in their multi million pound country homes. Thechoices they make that affects so many other people who live there permanently surely there must have been another way around this.

ROYAL BUTLER. …………

A man named Grant Harrold, used to be Prince Charles’ butler and he’s also worked for other members rather for other members of the royal family. He’s become somewhat of a TV commentator as well as he’s wanting to start his own royal school for butler training and another for etiquette. . They were fine to have him style himself as a royal Butler. However when he wanted to name his school and his training course that he was offering royal Butler training and etiquette as Royal, that’s when the Lord Chamberlain’s office at Buckingham palace stepped in and filed an injunction.He should have known better and just left well enough alone. Whem it comes to actually use the word royal in the UK , no no no no cannot dothat!

Fourteen Times!!!! ………………

I need a sappy violin playing in the background, now today report on the legal case between Johnny Depp and Amber heard! she is saying that over a three-year period 14 times is the number of times that he allegedly, physically attacked her. Hold up your hand if you believe that. OK take a minute I’ll wait, I’ll wait and let you think about it. I don’t see any hands up yet. OK, one more time, hold up your hands if you believe her. I still don’t see any hands being held up interesting!

Ritchies holiday camp …………

Guy Ritchie, film director formally Madonna’s husband has a massive $9 million estate in the UK. He’s going to build a holiday camp on his estate so he can host hunting parties. Now is that the life of Riley or what?

ATMs lockdown ………………

During the COVID-19 lock down many ATMs Burton lactone as well. There’s no a mandate or a law that’s coming into our rule I don’t know what to call it that’s coming into affect that there will be an open and accessible ATM within each region per number of people per capita. This is that people can all have access to cash. A few years back all the rage was Glamping, that a hybrid between camping and glamour and the tents were filled with queen size beds and every luxury fancy thing you could imagine. So his cabins that he’s going to build are going to be luxury cabins probably nicer than most of our houses.So if you have an extra £15,000 that you wanna blow in one day do you know spend the day there for £15,000?

electric scooters😱😱😱😱😱…………

Gone are the days of scooters where you’d actually have to use some exercise and use your foot to propel yourself. Well now leave the little things are electric and they can go go go. They are now being legalized to use on rolls which is madness. The tuned term scooter in Canada is not the same as in the UK. A scooter here is what older folks or people with health problems drive around and it’s a four wheeled vehicle some of them have roofs it’s kind of like a mini golf carts know that we are talking about here or scooters like from the 1950s like a skateboard with a handle. More and more people are using this as a way to commute to work to and from work and putting more risk to it because it’s a busier time of day to be on the road in such a such an open device with no protection. A TV presenter by the name of Emily Hartridge was 35 and she was killed last year at a roundabout in Battersea. I think the fair is and rightly so of these things being in the traffic versus on the sidewalk big big concern.

Kate tops poll

In the latest survey run by the Daily Mirror, Catherine came out on top as most popular.just ahead of her Majesty the Queen. And madam’s sugars are all in a to-do about this because they believe Madam is the top royal.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂.

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

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62. July 13

MM ANON ……… heartbroken …………… musky Amber…… sleepy ice cream………… sad Lake……………… more organ warnings …………… huge slave factory’s ……………… tin foil………” never call your babies…???………………… second safest road ……………Forest Rambo…………………” you go old thing , it’s for the best” …………… “ I may stay!! “ …………… Ken. Palace bubble.

Entertainment purposes

🌈🌈🌈🌈💜💜💜💜😊😊😊😊THANK YOU MM ANON😊😊😊😊💜💜💜💜🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

July 14/2020 riddle was posted July 13/2030

Sorry l am late!

RIDDLE #62

Thank you to the Daily Mail for loads of help on this riddle!

heartbroken ……………

Wow what wouldn’t fit under heartbroken clue?? The death of that young celebrity while her young son was in the boat. All the deaths from Covid, all the tragedy around the world, the loss, this is a an open ended clue. I have no idea where to go because there is so much heartbreaking stuff going on out there.. We have John Travolta‘s wife dying of cancer, a toddler killed in the UK hit it in the driveway, a mother and daughter dying within a short span of time.

musky Amber……

Here again we have heard daily update in the saga of the duo whose lives are so sad. Into the mix comes Elon Musk yeah yeah yeah yeah.Elon Musk and NOT Johnny Depp could have given Amber Heard cuts and bruises during their affair, as her marriage to the actor fell apart, according to the Penthouse concierge! Musk was a regular visitor to Amber Heard’s LA penthouse, arriving at 11pm and still there at 1am, allegedly. How lovely! NOT🤢😱! These late-night rendezvous took place as Heard’s marriage to Johnny Depp fell apart amid a series of serious sometimes violent arguments.Johnny Depp is suing News Group Newspapers, publishers of The Sun over an article referring to him as a wife beater. Court heard of an argument that occurred on May 2016, when Heard says Depp threw a mobile phone at her ‘like a baseball pitcher’. But security staff at the building where she lived said there were no cuts or bruises on her face for a week after the alleged attack. Instead , Trinity Esparza, who ran security at the building, said it wasn’t until May 27 Heard ‘had a red cut underneath her right eye and red marks by her eye’. Ms Esparza also alleges that on June 4 - two weeks after Johnny Depp left the penthouse - she saw Amber Heard with further injuries; a bruise on her left check and two on either side of her neck in the shape of fingers.When asked who Amber Heard had been 'interacting over this time Ms Esparza replied, 'Elon Musk’ - then if there was anybody else, she replied, 'No’

sleepy ice cream…………

Catherine was interviewed this morning which would’ve been Monday morning on the BBC is that honey happy people right on her Tiny Happy People initiative. She spoke about all three of her children are like bottomless pit filling machines we used to say that kids head hollow legs when they can eat and eat like that as they were growing. Interesting she said little Louis does not understand social distancing well yeah he’s young and this is one of the problems with returning to school children will not understand the concept of a certain age anyway. I wonder I didn’t see the actual interview but I wonder if she mentioned that if they have a little snack at bedtime that’ll get them to sleep easier I’m not sure. I can’t find anything and I can’t think of anything other than that were sleepy ice cream that’s current, unless somebody put drugs in their ice cream and who knows with celebrities these days anything is possible!

sad Lake………………

Naya Rivera’s Glee castmates including Jane Lynch lead celebs paying tribute after body was found at Lake Piru six days after disappearance: ‘What a force you were’. Police confirmed that a body pulled from Lake Piru on Monday is the actress just six days after she vanished. The actress’s family rushed to the lake on Monday morning and some of her Glee castmates, including Heather Morris, were also there. Jane Lynch was the first to pay her respects as she took to Twitter on Monday to write: ‘Rest sweet, Naya. What a force you were. Love and peace to your family’. They both starred on the Fox series from 2009 to 2015; Naya as cheerleader Santana Lopez and 59-year-old Lynch as coach Sue Sylvester. A day prior, Rivera’s co-stars Amber Patrice Riley and Kevin McHale took to Twitter to urge followers to show some respect for Naya’s family and friends. She vanished on Wednesday on Lake Piru after taking a pontoon boat out on the water with her four-year-old son Josey. On Sunday, Naya’s distraught family were seen at the lake trying to assist investigators in their search for her. Her Glee co-stars Jenna Ushkowitz, Kevin McHale, Max Adler, Josh Sussman, Amber Riley, Lea Michele, Jane Lynch, Chris Coelfer, Darren Criss, Alex Newell and Kristin Chenoweth posted tributes to Naya by Monday night.

more organ warnings ……………

It has been found that Covid-19 damages the heart? One in eight tests on infected patients in hospital reveal 'severe dysfunction’ and more than half develop abnormalities, a study has found.The study, done by the British Heart Foundation, was on patients that doctors already suspected had Covid-19 heart issues. One in eight of them showed signs of 'severe dysfunction’ in pumping motion.The majority of patients had had healthy hearts before catching the coronavirus. Yet another reason to be terrified of this virus to reduce social distancing and wear a mask and follow all the guidelines we are given.

huge slave factory’s ………………

We were just waiting for this weren’t we after last weeks news about boo-hoo. Boohoo’s links to Leicester ‘slave’ factory further revealed. The business partner of clothing brand’s co-founder owns warehouse accused of paying employees £3.50 per hour. The Leicester 'slave factory’ is run by Morefray Ltd, a Manchester-owned firm. Morefray has ties to the I Saw It First fashion firm set up by Jalal Kamani, 60. Kamani is the co-founder of Bohoo and retains a stake in the under-fire retailer. Bohoo is embroiled in the allegations of 'modern slavery and human trafficking’. Does it get any more pathetic I’m right downtown in a big city human trafficking going on? And we know this is happening across cities all across the world wherever we live it is so disturbing!

tin foil………”

Well now we have some more information from authorities on what went down when GM was arrested. Ghislaine Maxwell tried to flee when the FBI raided her $1M New Hampshire hideaway and had a phone wrapped in tin foil ‘in misguided effort to avoid detection’. Ghislaine Maxwell refused to open the front door to the FBI and tried to flee to another room when they raided her $1million home, prosecutors claimed today.The FBI smashed down the door and discovered a mobile phone wrapped in tin foil which prosecutors called a 'seemingly misguided effort to evade detection’. Prosecutors said that her conduct during the 8:30am raid on July 2 at the property called 'Tuckedaway’ in New Hampshire was 'troubling’. New York prosecutors said this was evidence that Maxwell was 'skilled at living in hiding’ and should be denied bail.Jeffrey Epstein’s former girlfriend 'vigorously denies’ charges against her.Maxwell’s lawyers argued she is not a flight risk and is 'not Jeffrey Epstein’. They also said she had not been in contact with pedophile Epstein for more than a decade before he died in a New York prison last year. She will appear in court Tuesday where a judge will decide if she can be freed. I didn’t think there was a person on the planet that actually believed about the tinfoil thing but I guess now we know there is one.

“never call your babies…???…………………

The unpopular names British parents say they’d NEVER call their babies - including Boris, Karen and Meghan😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣.In a Survey of 5,842 parents reveals names they wish they’d steered away from. One Third admitted they didn’t give child’s name enough thought before choosing. 73% said they had thought of better names for their children after naming them.The top names parents would never give their children includes Boris and Donald!!

second safest road ……………

Car infotainment systems and mobile phones are keeping death rate on Britain’s roads unchanged despite improvements in vehicle safety, Department for Transport officials warn.Department for Transport (DfT) raises concern over number of deaths on roads.The figure remains largely unchanged since 2010, despite safety improvements.Last year in the UK five people died on roads each day, with 68 seriously injured.However new figures revealed road death rate is second lowest across Europe.Most accidents resulting in fatalities are due to driver distraction, says report. So wherever you drive you know that in the UK you are driving on the second safest rose that’s a good thing to know!

Forest Rambo…………………”

The hunt is on the for German ‘Forest Rambo’.Special forces and helicopters are in a huge manhunt for a camouflage-wearing, bow and arrow-wielding maniac who overpowered four police officers and went on the run in forest. Special forces, helicopters and sniffer dogs are searching forest near Oppenau. Suspect is Yves Etienne Rausch who was ID checked near Oppenau in Sunday. Rausch 'suddenly and completely unexpectedly’ pulled a gun on police officers.He made the officers hand over their weapons before running away, police say.

“you go old thing , it’s for the best” …………… “ I may stay!! “ ……………

Here we are at Windsor Castle and Her Majesty and Prince Philip are debating should they or shouldn’t they go to Balmoral. He says you go, it’s all it’s OK it’s for the best.I don’t think she’s having that she’s not going without him and her retort is a swift I may day stay!! Now that can be taken two ways, I may stay, thank you very much here right here at Windsor Castle or I may stay at Balmoral !! Are you taking the two ways? You decide which way you think it’s it is meant.

Ken. Palace bubble.

With all the chalk and bubbles school bubbles travel bubbles etc. I wonder if this is not Kensington Palace being a bubble? Given the fact that there are four heirs to the throne in that home , I wonder if when the Cambridges return from Anmer Hall or any vacations they may be taking, if Kensington Palace will become a bubble. Given the uncertainty of Covid and everything and he has some schools will start in the fall and some won’t we really don’t know until that time and what’s really going to happen. So I think they may be planning ahead and having Kensington Palace be a bubble I think that’s a really excellent idea.

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

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63. July 14

💜💜💜💜💜💜I must say I’ve never done with the riddle if I had to type it all out because there were so many clues I am so thankful for this audio speak software off! Also won a game thank the daily mail for the great assistance in finding information for this riddle really appreciate it OK here it is!💜💜💜💜💜

MM Anon

MM ANON …… NO BAIL……… happy little people ………… gymnast aghast ………… George is not happy ………… a woke joke…………………… masked rats………………… carry on up the Amazon …………… “ so are White People” ……………… a new rash ……… HMTQ Royal zoom…………Black-burnt ……………… cut my card up………… veggies break out………… blame the dog-poo………………up up and Huawei………”

Entertainment purposes

🌈🌈🌈🌈🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💜💜💜💜 thank you MM Anon💜💜💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🌈🌈🌈🌈

July 14/2020. RIDDLE #63

NO BAIL………

Oh of course not who are earth would have ever thought that she could possibly get bail!!! cry all you want to lady it’s too late for tears way way way way way too late for tears! She is the highest value target of that law-enforcement has been looking for to put this multi facetted multi country case to bed, pardon the pun. She holds in her head and possibly on tape or in books or journals or whatever the details about the most powerful men and women on the planet and the most wealthy and all their their evil filthy deeds that are secret still but need to come to light for justice for the victims. At some point the truth will come out the light will shine on the bill. We have yet to hear at least to my knowledge what if anything they found on that island or in the temple sort of thing not to degrade the word temple I don’t mean any disrespect at all. She will never be a free woman again and have you noticed that I have never said her name is yet I have no intention to say her name or her initials she’s not worthy of it and I don’t want it on my iPad.!!! But you all know exactly the woman who I’m talking about who is now in federal custody in the United States and is being watched because she is a high-value targets not an asset not yet not as yet we don’t know that she is not an asset because we don’t know if she’s told them anything. At some point she may become a high value asset but right now I’m looking at her as a high-value target so somebody’s willing to take her out like they did the man JE I shouldn’t say his name either oh yeah right now she’s a very very high value target and they have her under heavy heavy heavy supervision!!

happy little people …………

I spoke about this yesterday when I was talking about Catharine being interviewed by the BBC on television pardon me.She is working on a new initiative called Tiny Happy People. Catherine has been part of a video, an educational digital tool for parents. This video is part of Tiny Happy People, a BBC Education initiative providing digital resources to support parents. The Duchess of Cambridge,Quote “She said: ‘So much focus, particularly during pregnancy and when you have a newborn baby, is the physical development. But what I found was missing was the support on how to further their emotional and mental development… And it’s that bit that I think you really need the support.‘”By the way I have to say does not her hair look fantastic with a new highlights? I was reminded by Skippy of a few riddles ago something above blonde bits so I wonder if she was telling us of what was to come with Catherine’s hair? I know she did highlights last year and the photos of them walking the children into school she looks so gorgeous how could she not look gorgeous. Yes the feminist would say yes we shouldn’t talk about her looks and everything like that little Pooh Pooh Pooh I am going to because she looks fantastic especially just imagine all the pressure that that woman is under never mind me and a mother of three and on the front page all the time and that’s the subject of PR garbage from Madam. Catherine you rock and I love you to bits!

gymnast aghast …………

Just something that has been quietly going on behind the scenes for years for decades we saw I have seen it in minor hockey in Canada and junior hockey players in the NHL have come out or written books about their sexual abuse when they were young men. Many of the Olympic gymnasts on the American team that did so well in Brazil, have come out and and accused their doctor l believe, of long-term sexual abuse and it’s rampant. It was someone on their coaching staff him but I’m pretty sure it was the doctor.We know it’s been a rampant since sex was invented it’s been twisted and used for abuse.Olympic medallist Amy Tinkler has yet to hear from British Gymnastics EIGHT MONTHS after submitting a complaint and says her ‘experiences’ there are why she quit the sport in January. UK Sport has launched a probe into claims that gymnasts were abused by coaches. Amy Tinkler released a statement on Tuesday morning about British gymnastics.Tinkler said her negative experiences there is why she quit the sport in January.She says she submitted a complaint in December and is still awaiting feedback. How disgusting is that eight months eight months and not a word yeah. how ridiculous is this I thought with the #MeToo, movement that things are changing and you know it things will get faster looked at and dealt with but it doesn’t appear so does it! Athletes are still stepping up and talking about the horrors of abuse they experienced! They claim they were beaten and locked away at the hands of British Gymnastic coaches. An international athlete from Britain says abuse of gymnasts is ongoing and there is also a fear of repercussions that is preventing some from speaking out!! UK Sport is investigating claims British gymnasts were abused by their coaches after a series of allegations from gymnasts, including Catherine Lyons, were made.

George is not happy …………

‘Grumpy’ Prince George! Catherine Middleton has said her son, six, is upset because baby brother Prince Louis, two, is beating him in a ‘sunflower growing competition’ at home. Ahhhh but dear a George you will be 7 on the 22nd of July! You are years ahead of your dear little brother💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜!Catherine revealed her children are having a sunflower growing contest.

a woke joke……………………

I am so sick of this woman and her bloody word salad it’s not even funny I can’t even look at her and watch that video her hair now looks like it’s about 6 feet long oh gosh help me Lord help me!! Madam quoted the Dalai Lama as she urged young women to fight gender and race inequality with 'compassion’ - while vowing that she, Prince Harry and baby Archie 'will be cheering you on' she spoke to the Girl Up Leadership Summit via Zoom on Tuesday, when she urged young women to tackle inequality in the world. Oh how should they do that madam, should they go yachting or make a video and then sell it to a really naughty website??She quoted the Dalai Lama, saying: ‘Compassion is the radicalism of our time’. I don’t know if she gave credit to the Dalai Lama or if it’s the researchers at the paper that good she’s not normally known to get credit for people that she steals from. she spoke on a number of social issues, including gender inequality and racial injustice, as well as gun violence and mental health awareness. Other speakers have included Hillary Clinton, former First Lady Michelle Obama, and Meghan’s close friend Priyanka Chopra Jonas. I love this part , where they say Her close friend Priyanka Chopra. So she did manage to weasel her way in there interesting so interesting I just it’s just so pathetic but look at the other women I mean who’s on the list I won’t even say their name just look at them and you’ll know back her back her back her!

masked rats…………………

BANKSY strikes again! Banksy urges Tube passengers to wear masks by disguising himself as a TfL deep cleaner to graffiti sneezing rats on carriage in his latest guerrilla attack. The world famous, artist from Bristol was filmed spraypainting a carriage with equipment used by Tube staff to disinfect London trains. This Piece is called 'If you don’t mask - you don’t get’ has rat sneezing and coughing across windows and walls. Banksy was filmed creating art on a busy train and was forced to usher people away so he could complete it. The last time he did the tribute to George Floyd I tried to include the picture in my interpretation it didn’t work so I won’t bother now but it’s easy to find if you Google it OK.

carry on up the Amazon ……………

An announcement of unbelievable Technology has been taken made by the billionaire Jeff Bezos company Amazon. Amazon unveils shopping ‘Dash Carts’ that know what supermarket customers are putting in their trolleys/ shopping carts and let them skip the checkout queue/line up. They will first show up at a new Amazon supermarket in Woodland Hills, LA. Cameras, sensors and scales automatically detect and list any items . Customers can leave directly without seeing a cashier and the card linked to their Amazon account will automatically be charged. This is unbelievable can you imagine how much time and effort this is going to save after a long days work when you wanna whip into a store and just grab your groceries and go you’re not gonna be held up you’re not going to be having to put up with a chatty cashier that likes to talk about everything and listen to beep beep beep as she slowly slides things across the thing you know the price detector that puts the price on oh golly I don’t know how it was described anyways wow is all I have to say!!!

“ so are White People” ………………

President Trump is being interviewed today and he was asked about the current police situation and he was saying “white people are being killed those two, upper case more white people! This was PresidentTrump’s response when he was asked why black Americans are still being killed by police officers.. I don’t think I’ll add anything more because everybody has their own opinion and I’m not gonna get into a political debate here I’m just going to state that’s what this is it this clue is OK.

a new rash ………

And yet more news regarding the COVID-19 virus we have some new information that skin rashes are also a symptom of COVID-19. One in 11 Covid-19 patients break out in itchy blotches as scientists urge NHS to extend its official list of tell-tale signs (which still only includes three). Researchers from King’s College London drew on data from over 20,000 Britons . Respondents either tested positive for Covid-19 or heavily suspected of having it. They found 9 per cent of those who were infected also suffered from skin rashes. While 8 per cent of people with other tell-tale symptoms of Covid had rashes. So I guess that’s another symptom to look out for even in children to I would think.

HMTQ Royal zoom…………

This is yet another thing that I absolutely love about her Majesty no matter what the situation she’s up for it and I just I just admire her so much! “One IS amused” Cheerful Queen laughs after hearing about RAF gunner’s lockdown training regime of pushing a CAR up and down the streets as she joins UK armed forces around the globe for video chat.” Daily Mail. Her Majesty, the Queen was seen enjoying a chuckle during her second official virtual royal duty.She spoke with Jamaica-born Lance Corporal Stephens who joined RAF 2011. The Lance Corporal is a member of the Jamaican Olympic bobsleigh team. Remember that movie with a John Candy about their team?? Cool Runnings!! Great film! Her Majesty laughed when he told her he pushed a car along for exercise!

Black-burnt ………………

Madam has once again, risen up and shown us her amazing compassion skills her humanity!🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 Meghan Markle has phoned a black woman, 18, who says she was set on fire by four white men in an alleged hate crime . She said it really 'lifted her spirits’ by talking about the 'importance of self care’ during the 40-minute call.Madam, allegedly so l say, spoke with Althea Bernstein, an 18-year-old black woman who was the victim of an alleged hate crime in Wisconsin last week. The paper uses Duchess, but l am saying Madam, got in touch through president of the Boys & Girls Club of Dane County. He told how Madam and Prince Harry pledged to speak with youth of Wisconsin. Are you kidding me neither one of those two has ever heard of Wisconsin!! I’m sure neither of them have ever been there!! Harry is not with her he has never been with her!! This is just such PR lies it’s not even funny! There is no way that woman had a 40 minute conversation focussed on another person it’s impossible!! She is so narcissistic she could not go 40 minutes without talking about her self and making it all about herself! My sympathies are with this young woman if in fact this truly happen and to be pulled in and use as a PR pawn by Madam is foul very foul!

cut my card up…………

You know I often hearken to London scoop when she said when she found the information she found that up was down and down was up and everything was twisted around to all she’s ever known. And here is another example. Conservative Party members have been cutting up their membership cards in protest at PM BJ’s plan to make face masks mandatory in shops as an MP Michael Gove shunned them while buying breakfast today.

The hashtag #NoMasks and the word ‘muzzles’ were both trending on twitter while several Tory supporters posted pictures of chopped-up cards, cancelled registrations or deleting their direct debits.

Many said the order - which will come into effect from July 24 and carries a maximum fine of £100 for non-compliance - is incompatible with the party’s libertarian values. Others claimed there is insufficient evidence to suggest that the measure has meaningful health benefits.

veggies break out…………

I told you last week of the what’s the word quarantine at the vegetable farm in Herefordshire. I think I also mentioned that they were being guarded by police so know that none of them believe and I believe at the time 73 of the hundred workers have tested positive. Well yesterday I read they were being offered free cigarettes and alcohol to comply with staying in quarantine. But here I see that’s four of them have managed to escape the luxury life of life in a trailer with free booze and free ciggies!! So the police are actually actively looking for them at this time. Because it is last week they were seasonal workers in today in the paper it seems most of them are from Eastern Europe. So I’m not sure that you’re thinking they’re going to try and make a run for going home or I wonder who has their passports with their employer hold their passports and I’m not sure.

blame the dog-poo………………

Oh here we are in the saga of JD and AH. I am tired of the name so I will just use the abbreviations. Yes yes we all know what she allegedly left in his bed when he was two hours late for her birthday party. I wonder if they’re going to have to do DNA testing on the stuff or even have the sample because the story keeps changing first it was her that it was a friend and now the dogs are being blamed. Maybe all three did it maybe they just got in there and got doing their business and you know somehow that’s how it goes let your freak flag fly right!😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😂

up up and Huawei………”

I think this is an excellent excellent decision in compliance with United States and Canada’s stand on Broadway. They have been known to hack and interfere with software and all sorts of bad actor activities. As I’ve told you before we currently in our country on behalf of the United States have the head of Huawei’s daughter in custody for charges in the United States part. She is fighting those charges and I’m not sure point this point how long is gonna take to extradite her to the United States.However hair and I was actually with the riddle is about that is my rambling.

“China’s trade threat: Ambassador hints at retaliation over 'disappointing and wrong’ decision to strip Huawei out of 5G network, saying it is now 'questionable’ if UK can be an 'open and fair business environment’

Government today announced Chinese tech giant Huawei will be banned from the UK’s new 5G network

It will be illegal for telecoms firms in Britain to buy Huawei 5G equipment from December 31 of this year

Culture Secretary Oliver Dowden said all Huawei 5G technology will then be stripped out of network by 2027

Government had given Huawei the green light in January to help build the network amid security concerns

US sanctions recently imposed on the firm prompted a reassessment of the company’s role and today’s U turn

Decision to exclude Huawei from 5G network will mean completion of roll out delayed by two to three years

Liu Xiaoming, Chinese ambassador to the UK, tweeted it was a 'disappointing and wrong decision by the UK'” Thank you Daily Mail.

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇳🇿🇦🇺

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7 notes · View notes

the-wales-5 · 5 years

Text

"Alone"

(written by @cas-ravenclaw)

Catherine and William were lying on the couch, cuddling.

“You know what is the downside of the kids growing up? That they get to stay up longer and I have less time alone with you” William murmured and kissed Kate's head.

“You're right. So, let's just enjoy this time. Dance?” Catherine asked and hopped up, laughing. William raised his eyebrows, and slowly got up too. Kate was about to turn on the music, when William pulled her back.

“Let me pick out the song” He said and smirked while working on the radio. She turned around, watching him, when "Perfect' by Ed Sheeran started playing. Kate's cheeks turned red, as her husband slowly walked towards her, smiling.

“So romantic today?” she asked, grinning, but William could see that she was flattered.

-Well, it's the right song, it describes you in a nutshell. Perfect. Imperfectly perfect” He whispered, and Kate blushed even more and looked down. William put one of his arms around her waist as they slowly began to sway to the music, and lifted up her chin with his other hand.

They just looked into each others eyes, until William began to mouth the lyrics to the song, and they both laughed. Kate nuzzled her face into her husband's chest, breathing in his familiar scent.

“Are you embarrassed? After all these years, you're embarrassed about me telling you the truth?' He teased her, and she looked up, and shook her head, smiling. “You're adorable” he said and pulled her closer to himself

“Let's just say that I just can't resist your charms” She shot back, sneaking her arms around William's neck like at a highschool dance. He let out a small laugh.

“That's an advantage for me” he murmured into her ear.

Their faces were only inches apart, their eyes both closed. The moment lingered, and Kate swallowed heavily.

“Just kiss me already!” She let out and pressed her lips on his.

The kiss became passionate quickly, but also calmed down again, so that they were completely lost in the moment. They were both panting when they broke their kiss, gasping for air.

“I love you so much. More than anything in the world. I really just do not know how I deserve you. You brought me happiness, and you are the only reason I can see my whole life ahead of me and not hate it. I cannot lose you, never. I can't do this without you. I need you, with all my heart, my body and my soul”

William said, suddenly feeling very teary. His wife softly cupped his face as she replied “You won't have to. We promised each other our 'forever', right? I'm planning on insisting we both keep this promise because, for me, a life without you wouldn't make any sense. You are my home, and I'm not sure how, but you and I have always felt like we were meant to be. Everything just feels so right here, me in your arms. It's like this is where I'm meant to be, and although it scares me, because I have never felt so intensely for anyone else, it is the most wonderful feeling in the world, William” she whispered into his ear and hugged him, nestling her face in his chest. She felt his body as he laughed shakily.

“You are an angel. A literal angel, Kate. I don't think I can tell you that enough” He said, and they both laughed, still hugging.

“Your heart is beating so fast” Catherine remarked, kissing the place where his heart was. He buried his face in her hair, and she felt his heart jump again. They both laughed.

“Don't play with me. You know that my heart is all yours, so treat it well” He scolded her teasingly, and she giggled.

“I could keep you here in this hug forever if I wanted to, and you wouldn't even have a chance to escape my love” William joked.

“Who says I even want to escape?” She shot back again, and they smiled at one another.

“I could, of course, also do this again..” He murmured, slowly taking her face in his hands and kissing her intensely.

Her hands slowly slipped from his lower back up to his head until she was grabbing his hair, pulling him closer. They continued kissing, until they slowly heard footsteps and whispers. Kate pulled away a bit, and rested her forehead against her husband's.

“Eww, you two are snogging..”

A small voice said, and an annoyed groan followed right after.

They looked up, startled, and saw their two oldest kids standing in the door, watching. On the right was Charlotte, who had also been the one speaking, George was behind her on the left, still shaking his head over his little sister. He was smiling happily, obviously the only one appreciating the fact that his parents were still in love, but simultaneously he just yawned, looking like he would fall asleep again any time.

“Aren't you guys supposed to be in bed?” William scolded their children, not letting go of Kate next to him, who was just laughing. “Seriously, there is absolutely no privacy in this house!” She complained jokingly, shaking her head.

“Sorry, but today's Thursday, which means that it's almost Friday, which means that we're allowed to stay up today!” Charlotte argued, and George nodded, obviously agreeing with his sister's logic.

Catherine and William looked at each other and just shook their heads. They smilingly complimented their children back to bed, having to promise them that that would be allowed to have popcorn the next day, until they were finally sitting on the couch alone again.

“Lottie's feisty!” Kate giggled, snuggling closer into William's arms. Her leg draped across his torso, his arm around her back.

“She's got that from you, babykins” he replied.

Kate teasingly slapped his stomach. He pretended to be hurt, which earned him another hit.

“This is one of the many reasons why I feel so utterly irreversibly for you, Catherine” he murmured. She hummed, and kissed his stomach, and only a few minutes later they were both sound asleep, curled up in each other's arms.

~The end ♡

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starshineandbooks · 4 years

Text

Won’t you say yes? It’d mean the world if you did. Chapter two

Words- 1462 AO3

Pairing- Remile!

Summary- Emilie Proposes!

Ring refrence

Chapter one --- AO3

Remy lounges on the edge of the pond, one arm about Emilie’s shoulder and a beer in her free hand. She listens as Emile tells her all about the school and the locals at his college.

Emile leans his head on Remy’s shoulder, “And it’s so pretty you know?”

“I know.”

“But I miss you so much, this is the first time we’ve been together since highschool.”

“We’re here now though doll, We always reunite.” Remy kisses the crown of Emilie’s head, “Don’t we?”

Emilie nods, but hesitates a solid minute or two before he finally says, “But I don’t want to stay separated longer than I have to.”

“Oh angel cakes,” Remy coles gently, rubbing her hand up and down Emilie’s upper arm, “I know you don’t.

Emilie nods, pulling a box from the picnic basket, snuggling closer against Remy.

Remy swigs from her bottle, content in the moment.

“I love you Remy.”

“I love you too babes.” Remy grins, “Are you from France?”

“No?”

“Because Eiffel for you.” Remy’s smile grows as Emilie giggles prettily.

“HEy Rem?”

“Yeah Angel cakes?”

“We’ve been together a long time, right?” Emile pulls out of Remy’s arms, turning to face her.

Remy’s brows knit, “Well, yeah? I mean- you’re twenty three now, and I’m what-”

“Twenty two, turning twenty three in two weeks.”

“That!”

“I have a question for you, and no matter how you answer I understand, but uh…” Emilie takes a deep breath, “I love you so much, and I’ve been meaning to ask you for literal years, and-”

“Babes you’re shaking, are you okay?” Remy sets a hand against Emilie’s shoulder, hoping it grounds her love.

“I’m fine I just- oh I had a speech and I memorized it and-”

“Babes?”

“Will you marry me?!” Emilie bursts suddenly, fumbling the box with two rings open, and managing to throw the whole thing into Remy’s lap.

Remy looks down at the rings, eyes a little wide, “Is this- did Bia or Virgil put you up to this?”

“What- NO! No, I’m so sorry! If you say no it’s-”

“Hold up angel cakes,” Remy says gently, “Of course I’ll marry you. I’ve been in love with you since Junior prom, you came and you told the jerk I’d been dating off and then took me instead of going with your other friends.”

“Really?” Emilie asks softly, “It took me a little longer, it was when we woke up in that hotel room, I was so scared I’d taken advantage of you-”

“You did, you made me watch Steven universe.” Remy smirks.

“But you smiled at me, and I just- golly!” Emilie giggles.

Remy looks at the two rings, trying to figure out which one is for him. They’re both a silver color -white gold actually- and have a small set of celtic knots in the middle of the band all around it. She grabs the that is smaller, she has thinner fingers after all and slips it on, smiling with a startled laugh.

“IS it- do you like it?” Emilie asks softly.

“It’s perfect Angel,” Remy smirks, “It fits me perfectly. How’d you know?”

“You and Bia and Anne share your jewelry, swapping rings, you and Bia have the same ring size, I borrowed her hand for a bit.”

“God you’re smart,” Remy lunges forward, dragging Emilie into her lap, kissing her fiercely, because what else could she do but kiss her perfect, wonderful, lovely man?

Emilie shudders and his arms lace tightly about Remy’s shoulders, he’s the first to pull back for breath, “I thought- I was thinking we’d keep these rings as wedding bands too? Because getting a second set makes it seem like these rings are temporary- and We aren’t.”

Remy kisses the tip of Emilie’s nose, setting their foreheads together, “Oh angel cakes, I don’t even need a ring, whatever you want baby.”

“Thank you. Oh thank you!” Emilie says.

Remy takes one arm away from Emilie’s waist, reaching between their legs and pulling his ring out and smirking, “You want to put yours on too? Or..?”

Emilie laughs, “Oh goodness, I’d forgotten!”

Emilie moves, shifting so he’s a little further back on Remy’s lap, one hand presented to his boyfriend- fiancee. Emilie’s engaged to his partner who he loves so, so much.

Remy smirks, slipping the ring onto Emilie’s finger, “Thanks Angel.”

“I love you Remy.”

“I love you too, babes.”

Emilie laughs, kissing Remy’s cheek, “Thank you for saying yes.”

“Aw babes, you’re my whole world!”

Emilie giggles, flushing, shifting to press more firmly against Remy to cuddle her better.

Remy just holds Emilie close, content to curl together as the sun sets, reflecting on the pond in front of them.

“Rem?”

“Yeah Angel cakes?”

“What’d’ya think of children?”

“Depends on the kid and who’s the parent. I dunno. Why babes?”

“I- Would you ever want kids?”

Remy’s brows knit, then he sighs, “I- I dunno. I’m not against them, but- I guess I’m just scared I’ll turn into my sperm donor. He- He was real bad, y’know?”

“Oh Remy, I know. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you think of him-”

“Oh Angel, It’s okay. You didn’t know, and I’m better now than I was years ago.”

“I know, but I’m still sorry.”

“He did worse to my little siblings than he did to me.” Remy shrugs, “Now let’s not think about that ass hole. How many kids d’ya want angel cakes, as many as you want.”

“I don’t really know… It’s kinda silly but when I first started crushing on you I had this whole plan for our life and-” Emilie laughs, “It’s silly.”

“Oh Yeah?”

“Well yeah.”

“Tell me your plan then Angel cakes, you know I’d get you all the stars and planets if you wanted.” Remy says gently, looking over her sunglasses and into Emilie’s eyes.

Emilie turns a shade darker, “Oh- you!”

“Me?”

“Yes you!

Remy grins.

“But I had this dream- We’d buy a big house with one guest bedroom left, and we’d have three kids, and a white picket fence, and a German shepherd, maybe a blood hound too. Ooh! And a Siamese cat, and We’d have a big yard, and maybe a nice creek in the back.”

Remy laughs softly, “Oh Angel cakes, d’ya still want that?”

“I mean, yeah but-”

“We’ll make it happen. Tell me, d’ya have names for the animals or kids?”

“Yes?”

“Mind sharing then?”

“No! I thought maybe two girls and one boy, we could name them Silena May, Catherine Anne, and Jason Berry.”

“I like it.” Remy says gently, “But Are those first and middle names? Or two first names? I’m good with both.”

“I- two first names?”

“Yeah, That’s a thing y’know?”

“Is that why your mom’s called Delilah May?”

“Anne has two first names too, y’know?”

“I didn’t!”

“Yeah, Anne Winifred,” Remy giggles, “Though she prefers Winnifred as a middle name.”

“Oh my!”

“Bia’s just Bianca though.”

“Is that what Bia stands for?”

“She stands for freedom and punching jerks too, but yeah.” Remy grins.

“Did you hear about Callie and Jax showing up to church with black eyes and bruises yesterday?” Emilie asks, “They looked bad, what happened, do you know?”

“Of course I do, It was my menaces that caused it.”

“What?”

“Yeah. Bia went and got into a fight with them, then Virgil got involved because they called you and Anne something unkind.”

“What’d they say to make Virgil get involved?”

“I don’t think you wanna hear it sugar,”

“Rem please?”

Remy sighs, “Well Bia and Virgil refused to tell me exact words, but Callie and Jax were implyin’ that you ‘n Anne were gonna marry yer cousins alla cause you hung out round us or were related to us ‘nd I- Oh!”

“Honey, you’re upset, it’s okay.”

“But-”

“I’m not marrying any cousin of mine, just you And It’s not just you, It’s the amazing, talented, beautiful, strong, independent person I love.” Emilie soothes, “And I doubt they’ll be running their mouths again if that bruised jaw Callie had is any indicator.”

“The germanshepherd, can we name her Marciline?”

“Only if we name the bloodhound Prince Bubblegum.”

“The cat should be Stripes.”

“Stripes?”

“Yes.”

“Where would you want to live?”

“Oh, Em, anywhere you are.”

“Why-”

“We could move back to my family’s home, it’s kinda in the middle of nowhere but it’s got a really good school district! And we have a creek on the family plot, and if we fixed it up, we could take my great aunt’s house, it’s five bedrooms, already has electrical and running water.”

“I’d love that.”

“We can discuss more later, I just want to hold you.”

“That works, I just want to be held.”

“I love you.”

Main master post Sweethearts, soulmates, and snarky remarks masterpost

#ssb writes #Sweethearts soulmates and snarky remarks #romantic remile #Soulmate AU #marriage proposal #fluff

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whimsiesofanerdgirl · 5 years

Text

Choose Your Own Adventure | Spooky Edition

October is here and you know what that means…GIMMEH ALL THE SPOOKY BOOKS!!!

We all know that Fall is THE season for reading, I don’t make up the rules. I just go with it.

It’s the first official month of coziness, hoodies, the best smelling candles, leaves changing, watching scary movies, and reading all those atmospheric books you’ve been saving up for the best time of the year! :)

I thought it would be fun to make a list of different spooky books depending on your preference so I categorized them because I like organizing book lists. I should have a plaque for it. Seriously.

So read on to get scary, spooky, and paranormal recommended reads. Then go get yourself the book and hunker down under a fluffy blanket and read to your heart’s content. <3

GHOSTS, HAUNTINGS, & THE DEAD

The Mediator series by Meg Cabot

Synopsis:

Suze is a mediator -- a liaison between the living and the dead. In other words, she sees dead people. And they won't leave her alone until she helps them resolve their unfinished business with the living. But Jesse, the hot ghost haunting her bedroom, doesn't seem to need her help. Which is a relief, because Suze has just moved to sunny California and plans to start fresh, with trips to the mall instead of the cemetery, and surfing instead of spectral visitations.

But the very first day at her new school, Suze realizes it's not that easy. There's a ghost with revenge on her mind ... and Suze happens to be in the way.

I loved reading these when I was in high school, but I still need to finish reading them all. It’s an oldie and a goodie! Plus, Suze has a good looking ghost named Jesse haunting her bedroom so there’s that too. ;)

Soul Screamers series by Rachel Vincent

Synopsis:

She doesn't see dead people. She senses when someone near her is about to die. And when that happens, a force beyond her control compels her to scream bloody murder. Literally. Kaylee just wants to enjoy having caught the attention of the hottest guy in school. But a normal date is hard to come by when Nash seems to know more about her need to scream than she does. And when classmates start dropping dead for no apparent reason, only Kaylee knows who'll be next.

I heard so much hype about this series, mostly positive things, but have yet to actually read it off my TBR. The ratings range from 3.5+ to 4ish stars so it must be good!

The Fade by Demitria Lunetta

Synopsis:

We don't want to disappear. We want to be found. Something terrible happened in her basement. Haley can feel it. Four girls went missing several years ago, and the police never solved the case. But Haley know the missing girls were murdered. How else can she explain the hostile presence in her house? The ghostly girls need something from her. And unless Haley can figure out what they want...she might be next.

The Witch of Willow Hall by Hester Fox

Synopsis:

Two centuries after the Salem witch trials, there’s still one witch left in Massachusetts. But she doesn’t even know it. Take this as a warning: if you are not able or willing to control yourself, it will not only be you who suffers the consequences but those around you, as well. New Oldbury, 1821 In the wake of a scandal, the Montrose family and their three daughters—Catherine, Lydia, and Emeline—flee Boston for their new country home, Willow Hall. The estate seems sleepy and idyllic. But a subtle menace creeps into the atmosphere, remnants of a dark history that call to Lydia, and to the youngest, Emeline. All three daughters will be irrevocably changed by what follows, but none more than Lydia, who must draw on a power she never knew she possessed if she wants to protect those she loves. For Willow Hall’s secrets will rise, in the end…

Haunting Emma series by Lee Nichols

Synopsis:

When Emma Vaile's parents leave on mysterious business trip, it gives her the perfect excuse to be a rebellious teen. Throw some parties, get a tattoo (or maybe just a piercing), and enjoy the first few weeks of her junior year. Then her best friend stops talking to her, the cops crash her party, and Emma finds herself in the hands of a new guardian?her college-age "knight in J.Crew armor," Bennett Stern?and on a plane to his museum-like mansion in New England.

After enrolling at Thatcher Academy, Emma settles in by making friends with the popular legacy crowd. But she can't shake the strange visions that are haunting her. She has memories of Thatcher she can't explain, as if she's returning home to a place she's never been. Emma doesn't trust anyone anymore?except maybe Bennett. But he's about to reveal a ghostly secret to Emma. One that will explain the visions . . . and make Emma fear for her life.

The Soul Seekers series by Alyson Noel

Synopsis:

Until now, he's existed only in her dreams - but fate is about to bring them together. I shove through the crowd, knocking into girls and bouncing off boys, until one in particular catches me, steadies me. I feel so secure, so at home in his arms. I melt against his chest-lift my gaze to meet his. Gasping when I stare into a pair of icy blue eyes banded by brilliant flecks of gold that shine like kaleidoscopes, reflecting my image thousands of times. The boy from my dream. The one who died in my arms. Strange things are happening to Daire Santos. Crows mock her, glowing people stalk her, time stops without warning, and a beautiful boy with unearthly blue eyes haunts all her dreams. Fearing for her daughter’s sanity, Daire’s mother sends her to live with the grandmother she’s never met. A woman who recognizes the visions for what they truly are—the call to her destiny as a Soul Seeker—one who can navigate the worlds between the living and dead. There on the dusty plains of Enchantment, New Mexico, Daire sets out to harness her mystical powers. But it’s when she meets Dace, the boy from her dreams, that her whole world is shaken to its core. Now Daire is forced to discover if Dace is the one guy she's meant to be with...or if he’s allied with the enemy she's destined to destroy.

This is another series I need to finish! I got through book 3, but it definitely kept my attention. I haven’t read a lot of books about Native American rituals and I found it so fascinating in this series. Not to mention the cute boy and spirit walking!

HORROR

The Last ApprenticeI series by Joseph Delaney

Synopsis:

For years, Old Gregory has been the Spook for the county, ridding the local villages of evil. Now his time is coming to an end. But who will take over for him? Twenty-nine apprentices have tried—some floundered, some fled, some failed to stay alive. Only Thomas Ward is left. He's the last hope, the last apprentice.

I’ve never read this series though I have watched the movie which I enjoyed. From what I’ve heard from my hubby it’s a super freaky book series and to be honest the book covers confirm that for me!

The Archived series by Victoria Schwab

Synopsis:

Imagine a place where the dead rest on shelves like books. Each body has a story to tell, a life seen in pictures only Librarians can read. The dead are called Histories, and the vast realm in which they rest is the Archive. Da first brought Mackenzie Bishop here four years ago, when she was twelve years old, frightened but determined to prove herself. Now Da is dead, and Mac has grown into what he once was: a ruthless Keeper, tasked with stopping often violent Histories from waking up and getting out. Because of her job, she lies to the people she loves, and she knows fear for what it is: a useful tool for staying alive. Being a Keeper isn't just dangerous—it's a constant reminder of those Mac has lost, Da's death was hard enough, but now that her little brother is gone too, Mac starts to wonder about the boundary between living and dying, sleeping and waking. In the Archive, the dead must never be disturbed. And yet, someone is deliberately altering Histories, erasing essential chapters. Unless Mac can piece together what remains, the Archive itself may crumble and fall. In this haunting, richly imagined novel, Victoria Schwab reveals the thin lines between past and present, love and pain, trust and deceit, unbearable loss and hard-won redemption.

The strange thing about this series is that I never heard much about it online. I came across it randomly scouring Goodreads one day last year or so. Victoria Schwab is basically the dark fantasy queen in the online YA community which is partially the reason I put it on my TBR list. Recently it’s been in the news that we will be getting a TV series for it on the CW so boys and girls bump this up on your TBR so you don’t miss out!

Miss Peregrine’s Peculiar Children series by Ransom Riggs

Synopsis:

A mysterious island. An abandoned orphanage. A strange collection of very curious photographs. It all waits to be discovered in Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, an unforgettable novel that mixes fiction and photography in a thrilling reading experience. As our story opens, a horrific family tragedy sets sixteen-year-old Jacob journeying to a remote island off the coast of Wales, where he discovers the crumbling ruins of Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children. As Jacob explores its abandoned bedrooms and hallways, it becomes clear that the children were more than just peculiar. They may have been dangerous. They may have been quarantined on a deserted island for good reason. And somehow-impossible though it seems-they may still be alive. A spine-tingling fantasy illustrated with haunting vintage photography, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children will delight adults, teens, and anyone who relishes an adventure in the shadows.

If this book is anything like the movie it is FREAKY! I’d give this 5 out of 5 stars for the scary factor. You’ve been forewarned.

The Missing Season by Gillian French

Synopsis:

Whenever another kid goes missing in October, the Pender kids know what is really behind it: a horrific monster out in the marshes they have named the Mumbler. That’s what Clara’s new crew tells her when she moves to town: Bree and Sage, who take her under their wing; spirited Trace, who has taken the lead on this year’s Halloween prank war; and magnetic Kincaid, whose devil-may-care attitude and air of mystery are impossible for Clara to resist. Clara doesn’t actually believe in the Mumbler. But as Halloween gets closer and tensions build in the town, it’s hard to shake the feeling that there really is something dark and dangerous in Pender, lurking in the shadows, waiting to bring the stories to life.

His Hideous Heart by 13 YA Authors / Edited by Dahlia Adler

Synopsis:

Thirteen of YA’s most celebrated names reimagine Edgar Allan Poe’s most surprising, unsettling, and popular tales for a new generation. Edgar Allan Poe may be a hundred and fifty years beyond this world, but the themes of his beloved works have much in common with modern young adult fiction. Whether the stories are familiar to readers or discovered for the first time, readers will revel in Edgar Allan Poe’s classic tales, and how they’ve been brought to life in 13 unique and unforgettable ways. Contributors include Kendare Blake (reimagining “Metzengerstein”), Rin Chupeco (“The Murders in the Rue Morge”), Lamar Giles (“The Oval Portrait”), Tessa Gratton (“Annabel Lee”), Tiffany D. Jackson (“The Cask of Amontillado”), Stephanie Kuehn (“The Tell-Tale Heart”), Emily Lloyd-Jones (“The Purloined Letter”), Hillary Monahan (“The Masque of the Red Death”), Marieke Nijkamp (“Hop-Frog”), Caleb Roehrig (“The Pit and the Pendulum”), and Fran Wilde (“The Fall of the House of Usher”).

The Beast is an Animal by Peternelle van Arsdale

Synopsis:

A girl with a secret talent must save her village from the encroaching darkness in this haunting and deeply satisfying tale. Alys was seven when the soul eaters came to her village. These soul eaters, twin sisters who were abandoned by their father and slowly morphed into something not quite human, devour human souls. Alys, and all the other children, were spared—and they were sent to live in a neighboring village. There the devout people created a strict world where good and evil are as fundamental as the nursery rhymes children sing. Fear of the soul eaters—and of the Beast they believe guides them—rule village life. But the Beast is not what they think it is. And neither is Alys. Inside, Alys feels connected to the soul eaters, and maybe even to the Beast itself. As she grows from a child to a teenager, she longs for the freedom of the forest. And she has a gift she can tell no one, for fear they will call her a witch. When disaster strikes, Alys finds herself on a journey to heal herself and her world. A journey that will take her through the darkest parts of the forest, where danger threatens her from the outside—and from within her own heart and soul.

This has probably been one of the creepiest books I’ve ever read, but I’ve also never read Stephen King soooo take that however you’d like. Might want to read this one in the day time to be on the safe side.

VAMPIRES

The Beautiful by Renee Ahdieh

Synopsis:

In 1872, New Orleans is a city ruled by the dead. But to seventeen-year-old Celine Rousseau, New Orleans provides her a refuge after she's forced to flee her life as a dressmaker in Paris. Taken in by the sisters of the Ursuline convent along with six other girls, Celine quickly becomes enamored with the vibrant city from the music to the food to the soirées and—especially—to the danger. She soon becomes embroiled in the city's glitzy underworld, known as La Cour des Lions, after catching the eye of the group's leader, the enigmatic Sébastien Saint Germain. When the body of one of the girls from the convent is found in the lair of La Cour des Lions, Celine battles her attraction to him and suspicions about Sébastien's guilt along with the shame of her own horrible secret. When more bodies are discovered, each crime more gruesome than the last, Celine and New Orleans become gripped by the terror of a serial killer on the loose—one Celine is sure has set her in his sights . . . and who may even be the young man who has stolen her heart. As the murders continue to go unsolved, Celine takes matters into her own hands and soon uncovers something even more shocking: an age-old feud from the darkest creatures of the underworld reveals a truth about Celine she always suspected simmered just beneath the surface. At once a sultry romance and a thrilling murder mystery, master storyteller Renée Ahdieh embarks on her most potent fantasy series yet: The Beautiful.

There has been soooo much hype around this one and yes, it’s on my TBR. If you’re into Vampire Diaries this sounds like a great read for you!

Blue Bloods series by Melissa de la Cruz

Synopsis:

When the Mayflower set sail in 1620, it carried on board the men and women who would shape America: Miles Standish; John Alden; Constance Hopkins. But some among the Pilgrims were not pure of heart; they were not escaping religious persecution. Indeed, they were not even human. They were vampires. The vampires assimilated quickly into the New World. Rising to levels of enormous power, wealth, and influence, they were the celebrated blue bloods of American society. The Blue Bloods vowed that their immortal status would remain a closely guarded secret. And they kept that secret for centuries. But now, in New York City, the secret is seeping out. Schuyler Van Alen is a sophomore at a prestigious private school. She prefers baggy, vintage clothes instead of the Prada and pearls worn by her classmates, and she lives with her reclusive grandmother in a dilapated mansion. Schuyler is a loner...and happy that way. Suddenly, when she turns fifteen, there is a visible mosaic of blue veins on her arm. She starts to crave raw food and she is having flashbacks to ancient times. Then a popular girl from her school is found dead... drained of all her blood. Schuyler doesn't know what to think, but she wants to find out the secrets the Blue Bloods are keeping. But is she herself in danger?

I remember reading this yeeears ago when it first came out and now all I can think of is Gossip Girl, but with vampires.

Sunshine by Robin McKinley

Synopsis:

There had not been any trouble out at the lake in years. Sunshine just needed a spot where she could be alone with her thoughts for a minute. But then the vampires found her . . . Now, chained and imprisoned in a once-beautiful decaying mansion, alone but for the vampire, Constantine, shackled next to her, Sunshine realizes that she must call on her own hidden strength if she is to survive. But Constantine is not what she expected of a vampire, and soon Sunshine discovers that it is he who needs her, more than either of them know. Originally published as an adult novel, but now in YA for the first time, Sunshine is an alluring and captivating vampire story one that will ensnare fans of paranormals everywhere.

I loved this book! If you’re in the mood for something fresh in the vampire genre you should check it out. Plus, I HIGHLY recommend Robin McKinley in general. She has absolutely amazing fairy tale retellings!

Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer

Synopsis:

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him—and I didn't know how dominant that part might be—that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. In the first book of the Twilight Saga, internationally bestselling author Stephenie Meyer introduces Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, a pair of star-crossed lovers whose forbidden relationship ripens against the backdrop of small-town suspicion and a mysterious coven of vampires. This is a love story with bite.

What kind of list would this be without the Twilight saga? If you haven’t heard of this before, have you been living under a rock? It’s a great story that pulls you in - you’ve got your historical fiction back story, folklore, vampires, romance, love triangle further in the series if you’re into that kinda thing (yes, I am).

Vampire Academy series by Richelle Mead

Synopsis:

Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies . . . Lissa Dragomir is a Moroi princess: a mortal vampire with a rare gift for harnessing the earth's magic. She must be protected at all times from Strigoi; the fiercest vampires - the ones who never die. The powerful blend of human and vampire blood that flows through Rose Hathaway, Lissa's best friend, makes her a dhampir. Rose is dedicated to a dangerous life of protecting Lissa from the Strigoi, who are hell-bent on making Lissa one of them. After two years of freedom, Rose and Lissa are caught and dragged back to St. Vladimir's Academy, a school for vampire royalty and their guardians-to-be, hidden in the deep forests of Montana. But inside the iron gates, life is even more fraught with danger . . . and the Strigoi are always close by. Rose and Lissa must navigate their dangerous world, confront the temptations of forbidden love, and never once let their guard down, lest the evil undead make Lissa one of them forever . . .

This was another vampire teenage sensation of its time. I have yet to get around to reading this (I’m looking at you TBR pile…and there’s this thing called new releases, sigh), but from what I’ve heard many people enjoyed it in the online community. It’s only right that we all get a taste of this!

House of Night series by P.C. Cast & Kristin Cast

Synopsis:

After a Vampire Tracker Marks her with a crescent moon on her forehead, 16-year-old Zoey Redbird enters the House of Night and learns that she is no average fledgling. She has been Marked as special by the vampyre Goddess Nyx and has affinities for all five elements: Air, Fire Water, Earth and Spirit. But she is not the only fledgling at the House of Night with special powers. When she discovers that the leader of the Dark Daughters, the school’s most elite club, is mis-using her Goddess-given gifts, Zoey must look deep within herself for the courage to embrace her destiny – with a little help from her new vampyre friends (or Nerd Herd, as Aphrodite calls them).

This is what I’d call another popular staple of the vampire era (which tbh I feel like vamps are coming back - YESH). I’d say these were as big as the Twilight series though they must not have gotten enough hype to get its own movie series or TV show. I loved the mix of different races and magic, it wasn’t just about vampires. If you’re feeling vampires and want different elements you should give it a shot.

SHAPESHIFTERS

The Mercy Thompson series by Patricia Briggs

Synopsis:

Mercedes Thompson, aka Mercy, is a talented Volkswagen mechanic living in the Tri-Cities area of Washington. She also happens to be a walker, a magical being with the power to shift into a coyote at will. Mercy's next-door neighbor is a werewolf. Her former boss is a gremlin. And she's fixing a bus for a vampire. This is the world of Mercy Thompson, one that looks a lot like ours but is populated by those things that go bump in the night. And Mercy's connection to those things is about to get her into some serious hot water...

This is an adult paranormal romance series, but my god…I LOOOOOVE IT WITH A PASSION! This is literally in my top 5 faves and for good reason. There are a multitude of creatures/races and I really love that aspect along with the fact that it’s an urban fantasy. Patricia Briggs writes so well that you’ll think that the story is based off real events and feel like you’re inside the story itself. It’s got werewolves, skinwalkers, vampires, fae, and other races as well. If you want to immerse yourself into the paranormal universe this is the series you’re looking for.

Shifters series by Rachel Vincent

Synopsis:

There are only eight breeding female werecats left... And I'm one of them. I look like an all-American grad student. But I am a werecat, a shape-shifter, and I live in two worlds. Despite reservations from my family and my Pride, I escaped the pressure to continue my species and carved out a normal life for myself. Until the night a Stray attacked. I'd been warned about Strays — werecats without a Pride, constantly on the lookout for someone like me: attractive, female, and fertile. I fought him off, but then learned two of my fellow tabbies had disappeared. This brush with danger was all my Pride needed to summon me back... for my own protection. Yeah, right. But I'm no meek kitty. I'll take on whatever — and whoever — I have to in order to find my friends. Watch out, Strays — 'cause I got claws, and I'm not afraid to use them...

Rachel Vincent is a phenomenal writer. She has written both YA and adult series though I haven’t read any of her YA books, I was entranced with her Shifters series. The way she writes her characters and you can really feel the intensity of the relationships between them. I highly recommend this series if you love the shapeshifter genre.

Nightshade series by Andrea Cremer

Synopsis:

Calla Tor has always known her destiny: After graduating from the Mountain School, she'll be the mate of sexy alpha wolf Ren Laroche and fight with him, side by side, ruling their pack and guarding sacred sites for the Keepers. But when she violates her masters' laws by saving a beautiful human boy out for a hike, Calla begins to question her fate, her existence, and the very essence of the world she has known. By following her heart, she might lose everything- including her own life. Is forbidden love worth the ultimate sacrifice? "A finely-wrought compelling tale of romance and treachery..." -Cynthia Leitich Smith (New York Times bestselling author of Eternal and Tantalize)

The Wolves of Mercy Falls series by Maggie Stiefvater

Synopsis:

For years, Grace has watched the wolves in the woods behind her house. One yellow-eyed wolf—her wolf—is a chilling presence she can't seem to live without. Meanwhile, Sam has lived two lives: In winter, the frozen woods, the protection of the pack, and the silent company of a fearless girl. In summer, a few precious months of being human… until the cold makes him shift back again. Now, Grace meets a yellow-eyed boy whose familiarity takes her breath away. It's her wolf. It has to be. But as winter nears, Sam must fight to stay human—or risk losing himself, and Grace, forever.

This isn’t your usual werewolf story. If I remember correctly, werewolves in this series have a genetic mutation that causes them to shift when the weather turns colder and appear to turn more wolf than man. This was a lovely trilogy of romance and if you read reviews on Goodreads you’ll find many others agree. The twist on shapeshifters and simple romantic relationship between Grace and Sam will have you rooting for them on page one.

Otherkin series by Nina Berry

Synopsis:

Dez is a good girl who does as she's told and tries not to be noticed. Then she rescues a boy from a cage, and he tells her secrets about herself. Now inside her burns a darkness that will transform her. Everything is about to change--and neither Caleb, nor the Otherkin, nor those who hunt them, are prepared for what Dez will unleash.

The Harbinger series by Jennifer L. Armentrout

Synopsis:

Eighteen-year-old Trinity Marrow may be going blind, but she can see and communicate with ghosts and spirits. Her unique gift is part of a secret so dangerous that she’s been in hiding for years in an isolated compound fiercely guarded by Wardens—gargoyle shape-shifters who protect humankind from demons. If the demons discover the truth about Trinity, they’ll devour her, flesh and bone, to enhance their own powers. When Wardens from another clan arrive with disturbing reports that something out there is killing both demons and Wardens, Trinity’s safe world implodes. Not the least because one of the outsiders is the most annoying and fascinating person she’s ever met. Zayne has secrets of his own that will upend her world yet again—but working together becomes imperative once demons breach the compound and Trinity’s secret comes to light. To save her family and maybe the world, she’ll have to put her trust in Zayne. But all bets are off as a supernatural war is unleashed…

Gargoyle shapeshifters? YES! COUNT ME IN! I loved the animated show Gargoyles. *smiles fondly of childhood memories* If you know of any other gargoyle shapeshifter stories please leave them down in the comments for me to check out!!!

WITCHES & WIZARDS

Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

Synopsis:

Harry Potter's life is miserable. His parents are dead and he's stuck with his heartless relatives, who force him to live in a tiny closet under the stairs. But his fortune changes when he receives a letter that tells him the truth about himself: he's a wizard. A mysterious visitor rescues him from his relatives and takes him to his new home, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. After a lifetime of bottling up his magical powers, Harry finally feels like a normal kid. But even within the Wizarding community, he is special. He is the boy who lived: the only person to have ever survived a killing curse inflicted by the evil Lord Voldemort, who launched a brutal takeover of the Wizarding world, only to vanish after failing to kill Harry. Though Harry's first year at Hogwarts is the best of his life, not everything is perfect. There is a dangerous secret object hidden within the castle walls, and Harry believes it's his responsibility to prevent it from falling into evil hands. But doing so will bring him into contact with forces more terrifying than he ever could have imagined. Full of sympathetic characters, wildly imaginative situations, and countless exciting details, the first installment in the series assembles an unforgettable magical world and sets the stage for many high-stakes adventures to come.

What kind of monster would I be if I didn’t include the Harry Potter books!?!?!?! The PERFECT mood for Halloween, autumn, and the upcoming holidays… I love the fact that J.K. Rowling writes those holidays into the story because it adds just the right amount of extra magic into them, not to mention witches and wizards! I will always recommend these because they helped me get into reading when I was a young-in.

The Black Witch Chronicles series by Laurie Forest

Synopsis:

A new Black Witch will rise…her powers vast beyond imagining. Elloren Gardner is the granddaughter of the last prophesied Black Witch, Carnissa Gardner, who drove back the enemy forces and saved the Gardnerian people during the Realm War. But while she is the absolute spitting image of her famous grandmother, Elloren is utterly devoid of power in a society that prizes magical ability above all else. When she is granted the opportunity to pursue her lifelong dream of becoming an apothecary, Elloren joins her brothers at the prestigious Verpax University to embrace a destiny of her own, free from the shadow of her grandmother’s legacy. But she soon realizes that the university, which admits all manner of people—including the fire-wielding, winged Icarals, the sworn enemies of all Gardnerians—is a treacherous place for the granddaughter of the Black Witch. As evil looms on the horizon and the pressure to live up to her heritage builds, everything Elloren thought she knew will be challenged and torn away. Her best hope of survival may be among the most unlikely band of misfits…if only she can find the courage to trust those she’s been taught to hate and fear.

Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman

Synopsis:

The Owens sisters confront the challenges of life and love in this bewitching novel from New York Times bestselling author Alice Hoffman. For more than two hundred years, the Owens women have been blamed for everything that has gone wrong in their Massachusetts town. Gillian and Sally have endured that fate as well: as children, the sisters were forever outsiders, taunted, talked about, pointed at. Their elderly aunts almost seemed to encourage the whispers of witchery, with their musty house and their exotic concoctions and their crowd of black cats. But all Gillian and Sally wanted was to escape. One will do so by marrying, the other by running away. But the bonds they share will bring them back—almost as if by magic...

I’ve never read the book, but the movie is my absolute favorite to watch for Halloween (besides the obvious and popular Hocus Pocus). If you’re in the mood for some good old fashioned witchy fun go buy or loan it out from your local library!

The Wicked Deep by Shea Ernshaw

Synopsis:

Welcome to the cursed town of Sparrow… Where, two centuries ago, three sisters were sentenced to death for witchery. Stones were tied to their ankles and they were drowned in the deep waters surrounding the town. Now, for a brief time each summer, the sisters return, stealing the bodies of three weak-hearted girls so that they may seek their revenge, luring boys into the harbor and pulling them under. Like many locals, seventeen-year-old Penny Talbot has accepted the fate of the town. But this year, on the eve of the sisters’ return, a boy named Bo Carter arrives; unaware of the danger he has just stumbled into. Mistrust and lies spread quickly through the salty, rain-soaked streets. The townspeople turn against one another. Penny and Bo suspect each other of hiding secrets. And death comes swiftly to those who cannot resist the call of the sisters. But only Penny sees what others cannot. And she will be forced to choose: save Bo, or save herself.

Sweep series by Cate Tiernan

Synopsis:

Includes: Book 1 - Book of Shadows Book 2 - The Coven Book 3 - Blood Witch The first three Sweep books bound into one gorgeous edition at a fabulous price! Morgan Rowlands never thought she was anything other than a typical sixteen-year-old girl. But when she meets Cal, a captivatingly handsome coven leader, she makes a discover that turns her whole world upside down: she is a witch, descended from an ancient and powerful line. And so is Cal. Their connection is immediate and unbreakable; Cal teases out Morgan's power, her love, her magick. But Morgan discovers too soon that her powers are strong-- almost too powerful to control. And she begins to suspect that Cal may be keeping secrets from her . . . secrets that could destroy them both.

I NEED TO GET MY HANDS ON VOLUME TWO! I really enjoyed volume 1 because it took me back to my high school days and plus it enlightened me on the practice of Wicca. Some people tend to be turned off by the teenage drama, but that’s kind of a given when it comes to most high school related books. If you can get past that I think it has a lot of information on Wiccan spirituality if you’re interested in learning more or to dip your toes in.

Wicked series by Nancy Holder and Debbie Viguie

Synopsis:

Complete text of Witch and Curse in a single volume. Holly Cathers's world shatters when her parents are killed in a terrible accident. Wrenched from her home in San Francisco, she is sent to Seattle to live with her relatives, Aunt Marie-Claire and her twin cousins, Amanda and Nicole. In her new home, Holly's sorrow and grief soon give way to bewilderment at the strange incidents going on around her. Such as how any wish she whispers to her cat seems to come true. Or the way a friend is injured after a freak attack from a vicious falcon. And there's the undeniable, magnetic attraction to a boy Holly barely knows. Holly, Amanda, and Nicole are about to be launced into a dark legacy of witches, secrets, and alliances, where ancient magics yield dangerous results. The girls will assume their roles in an intergenerational feud beyond their wildest imaginations...and in doing so, will attempt to fulfill their shared destiny.

It’s been so long since I’ve read this series, but watch out! I feel like these books were a lot darker and heavier than your average YA witch book.

ZOMBIES

Dread Nation series by Justina Ireland

Synopsis:

Jane McKeene was born two days before the dead began to walk the battlefields of Gettysburg and Chancellorsville—derailing the War Between the States and changing America forever. In this new nation, safety for all depends on the work of a few, and laws like the Native and Negro Reeducation Act require certain children attend combat schools to learn to put down the dead. But there are also opportunities—and Jane is studying to become an Attendant, trained in both weaponry and etiquette to protect the well-to-do. It’s a chance for a better life for Negro girls like Jane. After all, not even being the daughter of a wealthy white Southern woman could save her from society’s expectations. But that’s not a life Jane wants. Almost finished with her education at Miss Preston’s School of Combat in Baltimore, Jane is set on returning to her Kentucky home and doesn’t pay much mind to the politics of the eastern cities, with their talk of returning America to the glory of its days before the dead rose. But when families around Baltimore County begin to go missing, Jane is caught in the middle of a conspiracy, one that finds her in a desperate fight for her life against some powerful enemies. And the restless dead, it would seem, are the least of her problems.

Zombies and the historical reimagining of the Civil War. What more could you want? Also, why haven’t I read this one yet!?! I completely forgot about this being on my TBR and then remembered when making this list. *makes a mental note*

Rot & Ruin series by Jonathan Maberry

Synopsis:

In the zombie-infested, post-apocalyptic America where Benny Imura lives, every teenager must find a job by the time they turn fifteen or get their rations cut in half. Benny doesn't want to apprentice as a zombie hunter with his boring older brother Tom, but he has no choice. He expects a tedious job whacking zoms for cash, but what he gets is a vocation that will teach him what it means to be human.

Something Strange and Deadly series by Susan Dennard

Synopsis:

There's something strange and deadly loose in Philadelphia. . . . Eleanor Fitt has a lot to worry about. Her brother has gone missing, her family has fallen on hard times, and her mother is determined to marry her off to any rich young man who walks by. But this is nothing compared to what she's just read in the newspaper: The Dead are rising in Philadelphia. And then, in a frightening attack, a zombie delivers a letter to Eleanor . . . from her brother. Whoever is controlling the Dead army has taken her brother as well. If Eleanor is going to find him, she'll have to venture into the lab of the notorious Spirit-Hunters, who protect the city from supernatural forces. But as Eleanor spends more time with the Spirit-Hunters, including the maddeningly stubborn yet handsome Daniel, the situation becomes dire. And now, not only is her reputation on the line, but her very life may hang in the balance.

I just…UGH, this series hit me in the FEELS! OKAY!?! These books had me coming back for more and I found myself devastated when I finished the trilogy. T_T But please read them! This story deserves to be heard!

The Forest of Hands and Teeth series by Carrie Ryan

Synopsis:

In Mary's world there are simple truths. The Sisterhood always knows best. The Guardians will protect and serve. The Unconsecrated will never relent. And you must always mind the fence that surrounds the village; the fence that protects the village from the Forest of Hands and Teeth. But, slowly, Mary’s truths are failing her. She’s learning things she never wanted to know about the Sisterhood and its secrets, and the Guardians and their power, and about the Unconsecrated and their relentlessness. When the fence is breached and her world is thrown into chaos, she must choose between her village and her future—between the one she loves and the one who loves her. And she must face the truth about the Forest of Hands and Teeth. Could there be life outside a world surrounded by so much death?

The Hollows series by Amanda Hocking

Synopsis:

This is the way the world ends - not with a bang or a whimper, but with zombies breaking down the back door. Nineteen-year-old Remy King is on a mission to get across the wasteland left of America, and nothing will stand in her way - not violent marauders, a spoiled rock star, or an army of flesh-eating zombies.

Warm Bodies series by Isaac Marion

Synopsis:

Now a major motion picture from Summit Entertainment. R is having a no-life crisis—he is a zombie. He has no memories, no identity, and no pulse, but he is a little different from his fellow Dead. He may occasionally eat people, but he’d rather be riding abandoned airport escalators, listening to Sinatra in the cozy 747 he calls home, or collecting souvenirs from the ruins of civilization. And then he meets a girl. First as his captive, then his reluctant guest, Julie is a blast of living color in R’s gray landscape, and something inside him begins to bloom. He doesn't want to eat this girl—although she looks delicious—he wants to protect her. But their unlikely bond will cause ripples they can’t imagine, and their hopeless world won’t change without a fight.

A unique twist on the usual zombies take over the world trope. This is the story of a zombie who falls in love with a human. Can they make the relationship work?

DEMONS

Lady Helen series by Alison Goodman

Synopsis:

From the New York Times bestselling author of Eon and Eona; a Regency adventure series starring a stylish and intrepid Buffy-esque demon-hunter London, April 1812. On the eve of eighteen-year-old Lady Helen Wrexhall's presentation to the queen, one of her family's housemaids disappears-and Helen is drawn into the shadows of Regency London. There, she meets Lord Carlston, one of the few who can stop the perpetrators: a cabal of demons infiltrating every level of society. Dare she ask for his help, when his reputation is almost as black as his lingering eyes? And will her intelligence and headstrong curiosity wind up leading them into a death trap?

OMG. THIS IS THE BOOK SERIES I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED IN MY LIFE. I’ve always loved the rebellious girl in historical fiction trope and tbh this upped the goodness on so many levels. It kinda gives me Pride and Prejudice vibes, but with demons and demon hunting!

The Hearts We Sold by Emily Lloyd

Synopsis:

When Dee Moreno makes a deal with a demon—her heart in exchange for an escape from a disastrous home life—she finds the trade may have been more than she bargained for. And becoming “heartless” is only the beginning. What lies ahead is a nightmare far bigger, far more monstrous than anything she could have ever imagined. With reality turned on its head, Dee has only a group of other deal-making teens to keep her grounded, including the charming but secretive James Lancer. And as something grows between them amid an otherworldy ordeal, Dee begins to wonder: Can she give someone her heart when it’s no longer hers to give?

Another trope I love are bargains! How will the trade made between her and the demon backfire?

The Epic Crush of Genie Lo series by F.C. Yee

Synopsis:

Genie Lo is one among droves of Ivy-hopeful overachievers in her sleepy Bay Area suburb. You know, the type who wins. When she’s not crushing it at volleyball or hitting the books, Genie is typically working on how to crack the elusive Harvard entry code. But when her hometown comes under siege from hellspawn straight out of Chinese folklore, her priorities are dramatically rearranged. Enter Quentin Sun, a mysterious new kid in class who becomes Genie’s self-appointed guide to battling demons. While Genie knows Quentin only as an attractive transfer student with an oddly formal command of the English language, in another reality he is Sun Wukong, the mythological Monkey King incarnate—right down to the furry tale and penchant for peaches. Suddenly, acing the SATs is the least of Genie’s worries. The fates of her friends, family, and the entire Bay Area all depend on her summoning an inner power that Quentin assures her is strong enough to level the very gates of Heaven. But every second Genie spends tapping into the secret of her true nature is a second in which the lives of her loved ones hang in the balance.

The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare

Synopsis:

When fifteen-year-old Clary Fray heads out to the Pandemonium Club in New York City, she hardly expects to witness a murder― much less a murder committed by three teenagers covered with strange tattoos and brandishing bizarre weapons. Then the body disappears into thin air. It's hard to call the police when the murderers are invisible to everyone else and when there is nothing―not even a smear of blood―to show that a boy has died. Or was he a boy? This is Clary's first meeting with the Shadowhunters, warriors dedicated to ridding the earth of demons. It's also her first encounter with Jace, a Shadowhunter who looks a little like an angel and acts a lot like a jerk. Within twenty-four hours Clary is pulled into Jace's world with a vengeance when her mother disappears and Clary herself is attacked by a demon. But why would demons be interested in ordinary mundanes like Clary and her mother? And how did Clary suddenly get the Sight? The Shadowhunters would like to know...

It’s nice to read this series since you can actually watch it as a movie or the TV series. I’ve heard pros and cons to the movie/TV adaptations, but I’ve heard so many great things about the books. I only ever read the first book and never got around to reading the rest. My sister and her husband enjoyed the heck out of them so much that he proposed to her by putting the ring in the book. *SQUEEE*

Daughter of Smoke and Bone series by Laini Taylor

Synopsis:

Around the world, black hand prints are appearing on doorways, scorched there by winged strangers who have crept through a slit in the sky. In a dark and dusty shop, a devil’s supply of human teeth grows dangerously low. And in the tangled lanes of Prague, a young art student is about to be caught up in a brutal otherworldly war. Meet Karou. She fills her sketchbooks with monsters that may or may not be real, she’s prone to disappearing on mysterious "errands", she speaks many languages - not all of them human - and her bright blue hair actually grows out of her head that color. Who is she? That is the question that haunts her, and she’s about to find out. When beautiful, haunted Akiva fixes fiery eyes on her in an alley in Marrakesh, the result is blood and starlight, secrets unveiled, and a star-crossed love whose roots drink deep of a violent past. But will Karou live to regret learning the truth about herself?

Another book I’ve heard a lot of hype around and have yet to read. I REALLY NEED TO GET AROUND TO READING THESE because they sound like they’re right up my alley!

Kingdom on Fire series by Jessica Cluess

Synopsis:

I am Henrietta Howel. The first female sorcerer. The prophesied one. Or am I? Henrietta Howel can burst into flames. When she is brought to London to train with Her Majesty's sorcerers, she meets her fellow sorcerer trainees, young men eager to test her powers and her heart. One will challenge her. One will fight for her. One will betray her. As Henrietta discovers the secrets hiding behind the glamour of sorcerer life, she begins to doubt that she's the true prophesied one. With battle looming, how much will she risk to save the city--and the one she loves?

DARK FAE

The Hazel Wood series by Melissa Albert

Synopsis:

Seventeen-year-old Alice and her mother have spent most of Alice’s life on the road, always a step ahead of the uncanny bad luck biting at their heels. But when Alice’s grandmother, the reclusive author of a cult-classic book of pitch-dark fairy tales, dies alone on her estate, the Hazel Wood, Alice learns how bad her luck can really get: her mother is stolen away―by a figure who claims to come from the Hinterland, the cruel supernatural world where her grandmother's stories are set. Alice's only lead is the message her mother left behind: “Stay away from the Hazel Wood.” Alice has long steered clear of her grandmother’s cultish fans. But now she has no choice but to ally with classmate Ellery Finch, a Hinterland superfan who may have his own reasons for wanting to help her. To retrieve her mother, Alice must venture first to the Hazel Wood, then into the world where her grandmother's tales began―and where she might find out how her own story went so wrong.

I read an e-galley of this before it had published and all I could think was this was creepy and different from the typical fae story. It wasn’t just about a manipulative fae race, the woods moved and shifted and left you disoriented which explains why most don’t come back at all…

Song of the Dryad by Natalia Leigh

Synopsis:

Seventeen-year-old Charlotte Barclay is still haunted by an encounter she had eight years ago – a run-in with a fairy beast that had eyes like witchlight and a taste for flesh. Charlotte has avoided the Greenwood ever since, pretending fairies don’t exist and choosing instead to focus her energies on graduating from high school and perfecting her audition piece for the Bellini Institute. However, everything changes when her mom goes missing, kidnapped by the fairies that haunt the forest behind Charlotte’s home. When Charlotte’s search for her mom leads her into the fairy realm, she discovers that she hails from a line of Shrine Keepers – humans tasked with maintaining ancient fairy shrines. Charlotte’s family has failed their duties to the fae, and now she has no choice but to strike a deal with the dryad, an ancient and powerful tree nymph responsible for her mom’s disappearance. But the dryad only gives her a month to complete her task: retrieve five stolen fairy stones and return them to the ancient fairy shrine. If she doesn’t return the stones in time, the dryad has threatened to imprison another of Charlotte’s loved ones. Charlotte dives into a world as magical as it is deadly, coming face-to-face with fairy creatures that never get mentioned in the story books – including the creature that haunts her dreams. She must embrace her task and conquer her fears, or else she’ll never see her mom again.

This newer fae novel has a rating of 4+ on Goodreads and is a great edition to your urban fantasy collection if you’re trying to read more Indie books.

House of Furies by Madeleine Roux

Synopsis:

After escaping a harsh school where punishment was the lesson of the day, seventeen-year-old Louisa Ditton is thrilled to find employment as a maid at a boarding house. But soon after her arrival at Coldthistle House, Louisa begins to realize that the house’s mysterious owner, Mr. Morningside, is providing much more than lodging for his guests. Far from a place of rest, the house is a place of judgment, and Mr. Morningside and his unusual staff are meant to execute their own justice on those who are past being saved. Louisa begins to fear for a young man named Lee who is not like the other guests. He is charismatic and kind, and Louisa knows that it may be up to her to save him from an untimely judgment. But in this house of distortions and lies, how can Louisa be sure whom to trust?

For some odd reason I didn’t see a lot of hype around these series and then all of a sudden I started to hear about it a little more online. When I first came across it on Goodreads what intrigued me most was the idea of this Mr. Morningside taking it upon himself to deliver justice to evil and sinful guests. And I had been on the fence a little while whether to read it or not until I finally learned from someone in the reviews that had mentioned fae being in it. Pretty much anything fae you can count me in to reading it. I can never get enough! Thanks to Wunderkind PR who provided the trilogy to me to read and talk about it with you all I am grateful to have added it to my personal fae collection! It definitely had a different twist to the usual fae stories I’ve read in the past, being as it is a historical fiction and a mystery with a touch of horror. I recommend this to anyone else who has a similar taste for fae reads and is in the mood for a series that brings something new to the genre!

Never-Contented Things by Sarah Porter

Synopsis:

Seductive. Cruel. Bored. Be wary of… Prince and his fairy courtiers are staggeringly beautiful, unrelentingly cruel, and exhausted by the tedium of the centuries ― until they meet foster-siblings Josh and Ksenia. Drawn in by their vivid emotions, undying love for each other, and passion for life, Prince will stop at nothing to possess them. First seduced and then entrapped by the fairies, Josh and Ksenia learn that the fairies' otherworldly gifts come at a terrible price ― and they must risk everything in order to reclaim their freedom.

Another great sounding edition to add to your faerie TBR list! *makes another reminder that I need to read this one still* Based on the cover I can assume this is another horror fae mix.

The Falconer series by Elizabeth May

Synopsis:

One girl's nightmare is this girl's faery tale She's a stunner. Edinburgh, 1844. Eighteen-year-old Lady Aileana Kameron, the only daughter of the Marquess of Douglas, has everything a girl could dream of: brains, charm, wealth, a title—and drop-dead beauty. She's a liar. But Aileana only looks the part of an aristocratic young lady. she's leading a double life: She has a rare ability to sense the sìthíchean—the faery race obsessed with slaughtering humans—and, with the aid of a mysterious mentor, has spent the year since her mother died learning how to kill them. She's a murderer. Now Aileana is dedicated to slaying the fae before they take innocent lives. With her knack for inventing ingenious tools and weapons—from flying machines to detonators to lightning pistols—ruthless Aileana has one goal: Destroy the faery who destroyed her mother. She's a Falconer. The last in a line of female warriors born with a gift for hunting and killing the fae, Aileana is the sole hope of preventing a powerful faery population from massacring all of humanity. Suddenly, her quest is a lot more complicated. She still longs to avenge her mother's murder—but she'll have to save the world first. The first volume of a trilogy from an exciting new voice in young adult fantasy, this electrifying thriller combines romance and action, steampunk technology and Scottish lore in a deliciously addictive read.

This was the first fae book I ever picked up that was mixed in with historical fiction and tbh it has made me spoiled! Now I feel the lack of historical fae genre and Elizabeth May is to blame. Not only is this a historical fiction, but it has some steampunk flair to add to the fae mix.

Modern Faerie Tales series by Holly Black

Synopsis:

Welcome to the realm of very scary faeries! Sixteen-year-old Kaye is a modern nomad. Fierce and independent, she travels from city to city with her mother's rock band until an ominous attack forces Kaye back to her childhood home. There, amid the industrial, blue-collar New Jersey backdrop, Kaye soon finds herself an unwilling pawn in an ancient power struggle between two rival faerie kingdoms - a struggle that could very well mean her death.

If I remember correctly this was one of the first fae stories I ever picked up and I fell in love with them instantly! Holly Black is known as the “Faerie Queen” and for good reason. She’s able to weave beautifully poetic words and surreal worlds it’s as if you’re living and breathing them. I hope you pick these up if you’ve never read them and if you have, maybe it’s time for a reread!

I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I did putting it together! Are there any books you think you’ll pick up soon? Let me know in the comments of any good ones I missed! :)

Until next time!

xoxo Whimsies of a Nerd Girl

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