#malex fics that will never be written
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WIP tag game
Was tagged a few days ago by @steadfastsaturnsrings but didn't have the energy to make this post (aka I was busy reading Malex fics, love me a new hyperfixation). But here we are
Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs
Warning: most of these are basically ideas and haven't been written yet.
Probably forgot a few but these are the ones I could think of
Buddie:
Teacher AU - if we're meant to, I'll meet you there (nearly finished, title isn't certain yet)
5+1 Evan Diaz (y'know I love me some Evan Diaz, mostly an idea but I might write some snippets before I make the full fic)
The hug fic
Fake wedding date (which was supposed to be a Christmas fic but then I got a writing burn out)
Omegaverse
Forced to break up fic
Terms of endearment fic
Yoga fic
First fight fic
My 6th attempt at a Buck breakdown fic but they never feel good enough
Another teacher Buck fic
Literal sleeping together fic
Bodyguard Eddie fic
Farm fic
Malex:
Brother please come home
Mindscape fic
You're fuel to my fire
Brother let me be your shelter
I'm always nervous about tagging people. I know @watchyourbuck @thewolvesof1998 and @jamespearce9-1-1 don't find so I always tag them. Anyone else wanting to do this, tag you're it.
#911#ao3#buddie#evan buckley#911 fanfic#eddie diaz#buddie fanfiction#fanfiction#writing#malex fanfiction#malex fic#malex#michael guerin#alex manes
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Malex Fic - Fuck my way through college
Written for @rnmafterdark Day 3. This is chapter 1 of 2, but it can completely stand alone. Chapter 1 is mostly casual sex and chapter 2 will be more sex but with feelings.
This is a college AU I've been trying to write since I first heard the line "Fuck my way through college" from Glass Animal's "Take a Slice." Sex and sexuality are looked at and talked about with college levels of majority. There are references to Michael and Alex with others, but the sex scenes are between the two of them.
Additional Warnings: Alex sings a lyric from Green Day's "American Idiot" that contains a homophobic slur. It's not used as a slur, but the word is there. For the dubious consent - Michael sees Alex giving someone else a blow job, he enters the room and with Alex's consent jerks Alex off. The other person is not aware Michael is there until the end, but it not upset.
Fuck my way through college Chapter 1 on A03
Summary: When Michael's roommate hooks up with the guy who gives the best blow jobs on campus, Michael never expected it to be Alex Manes.
“You know what I want right now,” Michael says as he passes Chris the joint they’ve been sharing.
Chris glances over at the empty pizza boxes piled on the desk and sighs, “Wings?”
Michael hums in agreement. “Wings would be awesome, but I really want a blow job.” It’s not that being high makes him horny, exactly, but it does make him crave contact. He wants to kiss someone and hold them and then have them hold his dick in his mouth until he gets hard and comes.
“Been awhile?” Chris sympathizes.
“Too long,” Michael whines. He’d gotten all his gen ed requirements out of the way his freshman year and had breezed through with plenty of time for parties and sex. Now faced with demands of a double engineering major, he’s been unprepared for the amount of time his midterm projects consume.
“You still bi?” Chris asks as he hands the joint back to Michael.
If anyone else asked, Michael would be offended, but Chris shrugged off Michael’s sexuality confession with a casual “cool” when they were paired as roommates last year. Chris is easy going enough that he and Michael are still roommates and friends a year later. And in his defense, Michael isn’t sure Chris has ever seen him hook up with a guy, and his only attempt at a relationship has been an ill advised three weeks with Katie last spring.
Michael takes a long drag before answering. “Kind of a permanent state.”
“Just checking, cause I know a guy.”
“You know a guy?” Michael asks with a laugh. Michael isn’t sure why he’s even surprised. Chris knows a guy for everything - a guy who will write papers for you, a guy who can get you into all the good bars, a guy with keys to all the campus buildings. And now apparently a guy for blow jobs.
“Shut up, I’m serious. There’s this guy who is supposed to give A+ blow jobs. And he will blow anyone - gay, straight - he doesn’t care. If you have a dick, he’ll suck it.”
“You try it?”
“Nah. I know they say a mouth is a mouth, but I figured I’d have to picture tits or something to get off and that’s cheating.”
“You can’t cheat at orgasms,” Michael protests. “Anyway, sounds like an urban legend. The boogeyman and the blow job fairy.”
“I am not making him up,” Chris glares at Michael and snatched the joint out of his hand. “You know Conner, Miguel’s boyfriend?”
“Yeah.” He and Chris had some seminar with Miguel last year, and Michael vaguely remembers his boyfriend.
“Swears he was straight until this guy blew him. I heard Miguel sent him a fruit basket after they got together.”
“Now I know you’re making this up. No blow job is that good.” Michael holds up his hand when Chris starts to protest. “Prove it, call him right now.”
Chris visibly deflates. “I don’t actually have his number or know his name.”
Michael shakes his head in mock disappointment. “You owe me apology wings for getting my hopes up.”
Chris rolls his eyes, but picks up his phone. “Fine.”
A few weeks later, Chris runs up to Michael at a party, knocking two drinks over in his haste to reach him. “He’s here,” he says as he grabs Michael’s arm.
“Who?” Michael asks. He looks around, but doesn’t see anyone following Chris.
“The guy, you know,” Chris makes an obscene gesture Michael immediately recognizes. “I told you he was real!”
“He’s not fucking Santa Claus,” Michael rolls his eyes.
Chris pauses and blinks, “I mean he might, but forget that. I hooked you up. In ten minutes go to the upstairs bathroom, third door on the left.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“I’m the idiot who is getting you laid.” Chris holds out his hand for a fist bump. “You are going to owe me so much beer.”
“Whatever,” Michael shoves at Chris’s shoulder, but he just dances away and joins a game of beer pong.
Michael is sure Chris is full of shit, and he intends to forget they ever had such a stupid conversation. But nine minutes later, he finds himself climbing the stairs and trying to ignore the way Chris cheers and winks at him as he goes by.
He sees someone leaning against the wall by the third door. They’re looking at their phone so he can’t see their face, but he likes what he can see - long legs in tight black jeans, big hands with fingers moving quickly over the screen, dark spiked hair, small gold hoop in his ear.
“Hey,” Michael says as he approaches. Whatever hope he had of seeming cool goes up in smoke as soon as the guy looks up. “Alex? Alex Manes?” he sputters.
The smirk that was on Alex’s face turns into a frown, and before Michael can react, Alex moves away from the wall and pushes Michael up against the door. “Is this some kind of joke?” he spits out. “You want to go back to Roswell and brag about how you got the resident queer on his knees? Well, jokes on you, I don’t care what you or anyone else says about me. You can’t shame me, Guerin.”
“What? No! That’s not what, I mean I wouldn’t,” Michael trips over his words as he tries to reassure Alex. He doesn't blame him for jumping to conclusions - Roswell hadn’t been kind to Alex. Michael doesn’t remember Alex ever saying he was gay, but everyone talked about it like it was a fact. The football team harassed him daily about it, making it clear that anyone who dressed like that, who had multiple piercings, must be gay. He and Alex never had any classes together, and Michael was too busy trying to fly under the radar and get the grades he needed for a scholarship, to talk to anyone outside Max and Isobel.
“So why are you here?” Alex continues to glare at Michael.
“Umm, this is kind of embarrassing,” Michael admits. He blushes when Alex raises one brow and waits for him to continue. “My roommate sent me up here for, you know,” Michael gestures at his dick and winces at how ridiculous he must sound. “I didn’t even know it was you.”
Alex takes a step back and gives Michael enough room to take a deep breath. He very obviously looks Michael over before asking, “And know that you do know it’s me?”
It takes Michael longer than it should to realize the blow job is still on the table. He’s not really sure what kind of response Alex is looking for. He’s tempted to tell him he’s even hotter than he was in high school. Michael’s pretty sure he’s added a tongue piercing to the earring and nose ring, and Michael’s discovering he really likes the eyeliner. But doesn’t think bringing up high school is a good idea so he blurts out, “I won’t tell anyone.”
“Whatever,” Alex rolls his eyes and pushes Michael aside to open the bathroom door. “Come on,” he pulls Michael inside when Michael doesn’t react, and locks the door behind him. “Condoms are mandatory, you can touch my hair, but not my neck. I’d prefer you keep your mouth shut, but if you have to talk, no ordering me around.”
Michael nods, he’s not sure starting off with a lecture is very sexy, but if what Chris said is true, Alex must have a routine. Alex crowds him against the wall and runs his index finger up Michael zipper before unbuttoning his jeans. He leans close and whispers, “I don’t have a gag reflex so don’t worry about being polite.”
Alex’s breath is warmth against his ear and while he’s slowly working Michael’s zipper open, Michael reconsiders just how sexy a lecture can be. Alex drops to his knees and pulls Michael’s pants down past his knees. Michael sucks in breath when he sees Alex looking up at him, gaze steady as he slides the condom on. “Ready?” he asks.
And if Michael liked Alex’s breath on his neck, it’s nothing compared to how it feels on his dick. Alex hasn’t really touched him, and he’s already getting hard. “Yeah,” he finally says once he realizes Alex is waiting for an answer.
“Good,” Alex winks before taking the head of Michael’s dick into his mouth.
Alex closes his eyes, and Michael wishes for a second he’d kept them open before Alex does something with his tongue that leaves him gasping for air. Michael has had his fair share of blow jobs, but nothing like this. He can’t even say exactly what Alex does that is so special. The tongue piercing helps, and Alex clearly knows how to use it.
But if pressed, Michael would say it’s the way Alex seems almost devoted to what he is doing. He keeps his eyes closed, and he seems almost as blissed out as Michael feels. No one has ever taken their time, or savored the experience, quite like Alex does. He starts by taking Michael deeper into his mouth inch by inch, licking and sucking as he goes. By the time he takes Michael as deep as he can, Michael is red faced and panting and ready to come.
Then he stops moving, just holds Michael’s dick in his mouth. Michael must whine or something because Alex pulls off and laughs. He starts with just the head of his dick again, taking him in just as slowly, but playing with his balls this time. When he stops again, Michael groans, “Alex, please.”
“Once more, ok,” Alex tells him.
Michael is honestly shocked he doesn’t come as soon as Alex’s lips touch his dick again, but he doesn’t. Alex goes even slower this time, lavishing attention on every inch of Michael he takes into his mouth like they have all the time in the world. He takes Michael deeper this time, so deep Michael doesn’t even know how he can breathe. Michael watches Alex’s face and silently begs him not to stop again.
He unclenches his fists and drops them to Alex’s hair, gently holding him in place. Alex makes a pleased sound and swallows around Michael’s dick while pressing hard against the skin behind his balls, making Michael come harder than he thinks he’s ever come before.
Alex doesn’t back off, sucks gently at Michael’s dick until he’s done and sensitive enough to push Alex back. Once Alex takes off the condom and walks to the sink to wash his hands, Michael slides down the wall and tries to catch his breath.
“See you round, Guerin,” Alex walks toward the door, giving Michael a judgemental look on his way out. “I wouldn’t sit on that floor for long if I were you.”
Michael half-heartedly flips him off. Sure, he should have pulled his pants back up before sitting down, but he still can’t feel his legs. He’ll get up in a minute, he promises himself, just as soon as he decides who gets the bigger fruit basket - Chris or Alex.
Michael doesn’t see Alex again until an end of semester party. He’s walking down the hall when some guy stumbles out of a bathroom right into him. The stunned look on his face and the way he can barely string the syllables together to apologize make him wonder just how high he is. Then he sees Alex come out of the same room, a satisfied smirk on his face, and it all makes sense.
Over the last few months, Michael had convinced himself that Alex was as hot or as skilled as he remembered. One look at him now, and Michael knew he hadn’t been exaggerating. Alex was gorgeous, in all black again, but this time his lips were red and shiny. It hit Michael all at once exactly why Alex looked like that and he went from pleasantly buzzed to desperately turned on in a second.
“Guerin,” Alex nods at him.
Michael knows he should respond, but all he can do is stare at Alex’s mouth and lick his own lips.
Alex watched him before laughing and jerking his head toward the open bathroom. “You want another go at it.”
More than anything, but Michael had assumed it was a one and done kind of thing. He didn’t even let himself imagine it happening again. “Is that allowed?” he finally blurts out.
“Don’t be a dumbass,” Alex rolls his eyes. He walks into the bathroom, leaving the door open behind him.
Michael follows quickly, not wanting anyone to get between them. He has his pants down before Alex finishes locking the door.
Alex takes in his already hard cock, and drops to his knees. “Eager aren’t we?” he teases as he rolls the condom on.
Michael doesn’t say anything, just tangles his hand in Alex’s hair and pulls him forward. He prepares himself for slow and thorough, but Alex surprises him by taking him deep right away.
Alex doesn’t close his eyes this time, just looks up at Michael as he sucks his cock. It’s fast and messy, and if Michael didn’t know Alex had just done this - just done it with someone else - he’d swear Alex was as desperate for it as he is. Alex carefully scrapes his teeth along his dick as he slides his mouth down, then takes him deep again before pressing his piercing along the underside of his dick.
He can’t stop staring at Alex’s lips stretched around his cock, and he’s trying so hard not to move he’s barely breathing. When Alex lets his cock slip from his mouth, Michael bangs his fist against the wall.
“I told you not to be polite,” Alex reminds him. He grabs Michael’s ass and tugs.
And, yeah, Michael can work with that. He waits until Alex squeezes his ass again to be sure he’s ready, and he thrusts carefully into Alex’s mouth. Alex moans around him and urges him to go faster, harder. Alex is still watching him, but Michael has to close his eyes. All he can hear is the sound of his dick moving in and out of Alex’s mouth. Alex moans again, and Michael thrusts even deeper and comes.
Pride keeps him on his feet, and he manages to get his pants back up while Alex disposes of the condom and washes his hands. “So repeats are a thing,” Michael says, wincing as soon as the words are out of his mouth.
Alex dries his hands and looks at Michael like he’s an idiot - Michael is becoming worryingly fond of that look. “I’m not Prince Charming working my way through campus looking for the perfect dick. I do this when I want and with whoever I want. You have a nice dick, and you don’t use it to try and prove you’re better than me, so,” Alex shrugs and smiles.
Michael can’t decide if he should preen over the compliment or find everyone who treated Alex like shit and punch them in the face. He blames his conflicting desires for what he says next. “I’m heading back to Roswell on Sunday if you need a ride or anything.”
Even sex drunk, Michael knows immediately he fucked up. Alex goes completely still, and while he’s still smiling, every bit of emotion is gone from his face. “The only time I will ever step foot back in the hellhole is to spit on my father’s grave.”
He’s out the door before Michael can think of a response.
Michael tries not to think about Alex - especially his fuck up with Alex - once he’s back in Roswell. He has a room in the Evans’ basement now, and he spends the first few weeks sleeping in and catching up with Max and Isobel. They’d hit a rough patch just before graduation when Isobel started having migraines so bad she blacked out. Michael had stayed close to her all summer while Max went on his road trip with Liz Ortecho then Max returned just in time for Michael to leave for college.
Just to be safe, Max and Isobel had both taken the year off after graduation. Things were better by Christmas, and they were all on solid ground by the time Michael came home for the summer. Max had gone on another road trip with Liz before starting online classes for Creative Writing and Literature. Isobel decided not to go to school, but was working as a waitress at the country club. When Michael questioned her choice, she’d ticked off her reasons matter of factly.
“The tips are phenomenal, Mom and Dad have enough clout that even the creepy members keep their hands to themselves, and I am making all the right connections.”
“For what?” Michael asked.
“You’ll see,” Isobel had replied with a gleam in her eye that had Michael thinking he’d come back one day to find Isobel was the youngest mayor in Roswell history.
Everyone is in a more festive mood this year, even though Isobel is pretty busy before the holidays, and Max is moping because Liz decided to spend her break in LA with Rosa instead of coming home. Mrs. Evans bribes them with extra cookies if they’ll hang the Christmas lights,and Michael knows it, he’s opening presents and stuffing himself on the enchiladas Mr. Ortecho brings to Christmas brunch.
He sees Jesse Manes a few days after Christmas. He’s walking through town in his uniform, and Michael realizes he’s never seen him out of uniform. Maybe that’s why Alex hates him so much. The military is still pretty conservative, and he can see how the whole gay thing would have been an issue for someone whose whole identity seems to be about his service.
After that, Michael can’t stop thinking about Alex. He tries to remember if they ever talked in school, and he can’t think of one time he even said hello to Alex. Michael wants to know why he hates Roswell, he wants to know what makes Alex laugh. He wants to know what kind of apology he’s most likely to accept, he knows Alex isn’t the type to just let things go. Michael remembers the way he looked at Kyle Valenti after Kyle became the world’s biggest douche - Alex can hold a grudge, especially when it’s justified.
The problem is, Alex was just as much of a loner as Michael was so there is no one to ask. He only ever saw Alex with Liz and Maria DeLuca. Liz is out of town, and Michael doesn’t know Maria well enough to just start asking questions about Alex. He almost asks Isobel what she remembers about Alex, but high school is still a touchy subject for her so he resigns himself to learning nothing.
The day before he heads back to school, he’s waiting for Max at the Crashdown when Mimi DeLuca stops by his table. Max told him that there are rumors about Mimi losing her mind. He says the cops have picked her up a few times wandering around at night, talking nonsense. She seems fine to Michael - still young and pretty enough to be the cool mom, and kind enough to be approachable.
“Michael,” she greets him with a smile even though they barely know each other. “Would you do me a favor and please say hi to Alex for us.”
“Umm, sure.” Michael can’t really tell her he doesn’t think Alex will talk to him again. And it’s not like what they were doing involved much talking in the first place.
Mimi leans down and pats him on the arm. “Just be patient with him. He’s never had much kindness in his life. I know that’s something you understand.”
Normally Miche would get defensive, but he can tell she doesn’t mean it as an insult, just a way to connect him to Alex which is what he’s been looking for. “Thanks,” he tells her with his own smile, even though he’s not sure what she means. Alex didn’t grow up alone with at best neglectful and too often violent foster families. But then he pictures Jesse Manes striding through town in his uniform and wonders.
Michael doesn’t understand how he went over a year without knowing Alex was at UNM because once he’s back on campus in January, he sees Alex everywhere. Well, not really everywhere, but he catches a glimpses of him across the quad and then he’s walking into Michael’s favorite coffee shop just a few minutes after Michael leaves. The third time he’s working the circulation desk at the library when Michael is killing time between classes, he decides to stop pretending he doesn’t want to talk to him.
“Hey,” he says when he approaches the desk. Alex just stares him down, waiting for Michael to say something else, and God, Michael really missed the judgemental way Alex looks at him.
Michael’s about to walk away and give Alex the win in their staring contest when he thinks of something to say. “Is this your first year here?”
“No,” Alex says slowly, his expression shifting to confused as well as judgemental. “I’m a sophomore just like you. We graduated together, remember?”
“Yeah, I know, it’s just how did I never see you before?”
“Big campus,” Alex shrugs.
“Big campus,” Michael repeats. He shoves his hands in his pockets and rocks back on his heels. This whole exchange is excruciating, and if it wasn’t negative a hundred outside, he’d wait out the half hour before his next class on a bench or something.
Alex sighs and takes pity on him. “My break is in ten minutes. There’s a gender neutral bathroom with a lock at the end of that hallway.”
Michael looks in the direction Alex is pointing at and nods before heading back to the table he was pretending to study at. This isn’t what he expected when he approached Alex, but he’s not about to let the opportunity pass. Ten minutes drag on, and as soon as Michael sees Alex leave the desk he gets up to follow.
Alex locks the door and walks toward Michael until he’s backed up against the wall. He takes his time undoing Michael’s belt and unzipping his jeans. By the time he’s done, Michael’s well on his way to hard. And even with the latex between them, the feel of Alex’s fingers sliding the condom up his dick has him shivering.
Without the background noise of a party, everything feels more intentional and intense. When Alex takes the head of his dick in his mouth, Michael can hear the sound he makes when he starts to suck. “Oh,” Michael says when Alex takes him deeper. He closes his eyes and thumps his head against the wall. Alex is getting louder, and if Michael has to hear him and look at him, this isn’t going to last, and he wants it to.
Alex shifts higher in his knees, he stops sucking for a minute, just holds Michael in his mouth. Then Michael hears the sound of another zipper, and he knows it’s not his, which means it must be Alex, and that means Alex is touching himself while he sucks Michael off.
Michael opens his eyes, but he can’t really see what Alex is doing. But he can hear him, can hear the sound of Alex’s hand moving while he jerks himself off. Alex is licking Michael’s dick again, pressing the piercing against the head the way Michael likes before sucking him down. He moans when Michael is deep in his mouth, and Michael doesn’t know if it’s from sucking Michael off or his own hand, but it doesn’t matter because as soon as he hears it, Michael snaps his hips forward - harder than he meant to - and comes.
Alex pulls off as soon as Michael is done, and Michael would be annoyed, but he can still hear Alex’s hand moving, faster and faster, until it stops and Alean moans - deeper and louder than before.
Michael knows he must look ridiculous - face red and condom hanging off his dick. Especially since by the time Alex stands up, his pants are done up, and he looks perfectly composed - not all like he just jerked off during his break. Michael throws the condom away and wipes up with a paper towel while Alex washes his hands. “I didn’t know you did that,” Michael says, gesturing toward Alex’s zipper.
Alex raises one brow at him and purses his lips like he’s trying not to laugh. “I do, just not every time.”
“You’ve never with me before,” Michael says, not sure why he’s pushing this.
“You’ve never been my first of the night before. Is it a problem?”
Alex’s expression starts to close off, and Michael rushes to correct him before he fucks up again. “No, I’m just glad you’re enjoying yourself.”
“That’s kind of the point, Guerin,” Alex shakes his head and walks off.
Michael waits a few minutes before heading back to his table and pretending to study. He waves at Alex on his way out, and Aex rolls his eyes, but waves too so Michael takes it as a win.
Alex doesn’t blow him every time he sees him in the library, not even weekly, and he doesn’t jerk off every time either, but it’s still the most regular sex Michael has ever gotten. He’s not sure if people can tell he’s getting laid or if he’s just more confident, but he’s hooked up with someone at almost every party he’s been to as well. Even Chris notices.
“What’s going on with you, man? You’re really crushing it with the ladies right now,” he says as they stumble their way back to the dorm after some frat party.
“I’m just that sexy,” Michael slurs with a laugh.
“If I didn’t just see you with two different girls this week, I’d swear you had a girlfriend, or boyfriend,” he adds on. “You weren’t even this well fucked when you dated Katie.”
“Just a run of good luck and my irresistible charm,” Michael insists.
Chris laughs so hard he falls into a bush. Michael helps him up and somehow they make it back to their room without any injuries.
Michael thinks about it the next time he sees Alex. He’s had more sex with Alex than anyone he’s ever dated,and he doesn’t know anything about him, except they went to high together and Alex hates Roswell. It makes him feel guilty, like he’s using Alex, and Michael knows he is using Alex, that Alex expects it of him, but he doesn’t like thinking of it that way.
“What’s your major,” he asks Alex the next time they hook up.
Alex just looks at Michael for a minute before finally answering. “Computer Science and Music Theory and Composition.”
“Huh,” Michael responds. Alex looks like a music major with the whole emo thing he had going, but Michael has a hard time picturing him sitting in front of a computer for hours.
When Michael doesn’t say anything else, Alex sighs and asks, “What about you?”
“Mechanical and environmental engineering.”
Alex narrows his eyes and studies Michael before saying anything. “Suits you.”
He’s gone before Michael can decide if that was a compliment or not.
A week later, Michael follows Alex out of the bathroom and catches him while he’s still in the hallway. “Do you like working here, the library I mean?”
Alex turns back and leans against the wall. “It’s easy, quiet. I make better money and tips at The Grind.”
“You work at the Grind? I’m there all the time, how have I never seen you there?” Michael’s starting to feel like the universe is conspiring to keep him away from Alex.
“I work the early shift, five to nine am. They pay more since most college students don’t like mornings, and the first few hours are pretty dead.”
Michael makes a face at the thought of working that early. “Yeah, the only way I’m up at five is if I haven’t gone to bed.”
“I don’t sleep much so it’s not a big deal,” Alex shrugs. “You work on campus?” Alex asks before Michael can follow up on the comment about not sleeping.
“No, I work at an auto shop off campus a few days a week. Pays not bad, and I get free tune ups which my poor truck desperately needs.”
Alex laughs. “Is that why your hands?” Alex holds up his own hands.
Michael looks down. He’s used to the permanent grease stains around his nails, doesn’t really think about them much anymore. He used to be embarrassed, but Alex seems more curious than critical so he doesn’t get defensive. “Occupational hazard. Even if I wasn’t working there, I’m always tinkering with something.”
“Life of an engineer,” Alex laughs again. “Well, I should get back,” Alex points back toward the desk and walks away.
Michael thinks it might be their new found rapport, but the next time Alex sucks him off, he comes so hard he thinks he might have an aneurysm. Whatever Alex did with his tongue is superhuman, and he means to ask him about it, but what he says insead is, “Why weren’t you at graduation?”
Alex doesn’t answer, just storms out of the bathroom without checking to see if Michael is decent.
“Fuck,” Michael exhales as soon as the door closes. He really fucked it up this time.
Alex won’t even look at him for the next two weeks, and then he’s suddenly gone - never at the library the same time as Michael. If Alex changed his shift or even quit just to avoid Michael, he must be more upset than Michael realizes. He thinks about showing up at The Grind to apologize, but that seems a little too much like stalking especially since he told Alex he’s never up that early.
Michael still looks for Alex around campus, and when he can’t seem to find him he sulks. He studies more than normal, and when Chris convinces him to go out, he gets drunk and fucks around with any girl he knows is only looking for a good time no strings attached. It’s never the same girl twice - if he learned anything from Alex it’s that he gets attached way too easily.
He sulks all the way through midterms before Chris decides it’s been long enough. “I know it sucks to get dumped, but it can’t be this bad,” he tells Michael when he finds him hiding in his bed one afternoon.
“I wasn’t dumped. I wasn’t even dating anyone,” Michael protests.
“Then what’s with the pouting and the half hearted hook ups? Looks like a broken heart to me.”
“There is no broken heart,” Michael insists. “I had a thing, ok. Like a casual acquaintances with benefits thing for a while, but it ended.”
“Did she fall in love with you?” Chris gasps, “No, you fell in love with her. Michael, that really sucks.”
“No one fell in love. I just said something stupid and pissed him off. Story of my life.”
Chris frowns. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You just need to get back out there. Fuck another guy instead of just girls and forget about him. Hey, I could find the blow job guy for you again.”
“No!” Michael can’t imagine anything more embarrassing.
“Are you sure? Dane from my physics class hooked up with him last month and said he thinks he saw Jesus when he came. And Grant said the blow jobs he got from him this semester are the best he’s ever had. He actually has an alert on his phone so if someone spots him at a party he gets notified and can show up.”
No, seriously, no,” Michael cuts Chris off.
“Fine, but the swim team is having a party tomorrow, and you’re coming with me. We’ll find some hot guy to get you out of your slump.”
“There’s no slump. And since when do we have a swim team?”
Michael learns two things about swimmers Saturday night - they like the music loud, they are very comfortable hanging out half dressed. Two drinks in he wanders upstairs and tries to decide if he wants to hook up or just get stone drunk.
He walks past a half open door when he hears it. Some guy yelling, “Come on, come on, just like that. Give it to me,” between breathy moans. Michael moves to close the door, because no one needs to hear that.
Michael has to come closer than he’d like to reach the door handle, and that’s when he sees him. Alex is on his knees, some red headed kid up against the wall getting his dick sucked. He plans to shut the door, he really does, but he’s never seen Alex like this. Never seen just how his lips look stretched around a dick from this angle, never saw the stretch of Alex’s neck or the way he can see his tongue moving. Alex’s face is almost expressionless, and Michael can’t tell if he’s okay, but when he looks down, he sees Alex is hard.
The guy’s getting louder, and Michael remembers what Alex said about keeping his mouth shut. He’s not ordering Alex around exactly, but his tone is more demanding than begging and it’s starting to piss Michael off. Michael takes another step forward when he hears Alex make a noise. He moans and shifts a little and that’s when Michael remembers he’s hard, Alex is hard, but he’s not touching himself because he’s using both arms to hold this douche bag still.
Michael closes the door behind him and comes up behind Alex. He drops to his knees,and places his hand on Alex’s shoulder. Alex freezes. “It’s me, Guerin,” Michael whispers. Alex doesn’t respond but he relaxes.
Michael drops his other hand to Alex’s hip then slides it around to rest at the top of his jeans. He wants to touch, he’s already hard just thinking about it, but he needs Alex’s permission. “Can I,” he asks. “Is it ok if I touch you.”
Alex moans and his hips jerk against Michael’s hand, and he takes that as a yes. It takes both his hands and a bit of fumbling for him to get Alex’s pants undone from this angle. Once he gets them down, he can’t wait to get Alex’s dick in his hands. He’s hot and hard and slick already and feels perfect in Michael’s hand.
“Thank you,” he whispers against Alex’s ear. He wants to take his time, wants to get Alex close a few times before he lets him come. But he can tell the idiot Alex is sucking off is getting close, and he wants Alex to finish first. Doesn’t want anyone else to see him like this.
He tightens his hand around Alex’s dick and let’s him thrust into it. Michael uses his other hand to cup Alex’s balls, he wants to take them in his mouth and suck on them but this will have to do for now. He strokes the skin behind them, making Alex moan again. When he feels Alex’s hips stutter, he loosens his grip and toys with the crown until he comes.
Michael manages to get Alex’s pants back up and mostly fastened even though he’s distracted by watching the way Alex’s cheeks hollow as he finishes the guy off. Michael’s breathing almost as heavily as he is, and he wants so badly to grind into Alex from behind, but he knows he’ll come in his pants if he does so he keeps a small distance between them.
The asshole shouts when he comes, and brings his knee up, almost catching Alex in the face. He glares when he spots Michael. “Wait your turn like everyone else,” he complains.
“Maybe learn to shut a door,” Michael chastises him.
“Whatever,” he rolls his eyes at Michael. “If watching me get off is what gets you all hot and bothered, you can blow me later.”
“Dick,” Michael grumbles as he leaves. At least this time he remembered to shut the door..
He hears Alex laugh, feels him move away. When he looks back over, Alex has turned to sit leaning against the wall. He’s flushed and beautiful, and Michael wants him. “Can I kiss you?” he blurts out. “Do you do that?”
Alex rolls his eyes. “This isn’t Pretty Woman, Guerin. Come here.”
He holds out his hand, and Michael takes it, letting Alex pull him closer. He means to sit next to him, but somehow he ends up in Alex’s lap. Michael’s careful, tentative - first kisses are always awkward. But Alex threads his fingers through the curls on the back of Michael’s head and tugs him forward. He kisses like he sucks cock, intent and focused. When he drags his tongue piercing along the roof of Michael’s mouth, Michael moans and thrusts his hips against Alex.
Alex taps his leg, “Stand up and I’ll take care of that for you.”
“No,” Michael says forcefully enough that Alex leans back and raises his brows. “Just your hand,” he clarifies. “That’s enough.”
“Ok,”Alex shrugs. He pulls a small bottle of lube out of his front pocket while Michael shimmys his pants down to his knees.
He ends up kneeling next to Alex, and the angle is a little awkward, but he can keep kissing Alex so he doesn’t care. The first touch of Alex’s hand is cool and slick, and it takes some of the urgency away. Alex strokes him gently at first - fingers exploring, teasing. He kisses Michael the same way- tongue dancing in and out of his mouth. Michael whines, reaches for his dick with his own hand, but Alex pushes it away.
Thankfully, Alex takes the hint. He tightens his grip and strokes Michael firmly, He deepens the kiss, sucking on Michael’s tongue as Michael thrusts into his first. Michael moves higher up on his knees, chasing every bit of contact he can get. It all feels so good, then Alex bites at his lower lip and Michael comes with a gasp.
Alex wipes his hands on the carpet and makes a face. “This is why I prefer bathrooms. I could really use a sink right now.”
Michael looks around and realizes for the first time that they are in some kind of office or study room. He sits down next to Alex and tries to catch his breath. “You don’t have any hand sanitizer in your pocket?” He jokes. “You have everything else you need.”
Instead of laughing, Alex looks like he’s considering the idea. “I might have to start doing that.”
He starts to get up, but Michael stops him with a hand on his arm. “Hey, I’m sorry about before. It was none of my business.”
“It’s fine,” Alex brushes him off, but doesn’t get up. “I just don’t like talking about”
“Anything personal,” Michael fills in when Alex seems lost for words.
“Pretty much,” Alex agrees with a smile.
“Still, I”m sorry, and I hope you can get your shift back.”
“What?” Alex blinks at him, clearly confused.
“At the library. You don’t have to avoid me,” Michael feels really bad about that.
“You think I quit the library to avoid you?” Alex laughs. “I’m not fragile, Jesus. Most of their budget is for work study and since I don’t qualify, they can only give me so many hours. They just ran out of funding for the year.”
“That sucks.”
“Nothing I can do about it. I picked up another tutoring job, and they’ll bring me back for the summer.”
Michael has a lot of questions, but he settles on one he hopes is safe. “You stay here over the summer?”
“No where else to go,” Alex shrugs. He keeps talking before Michael can apologize again. “It’s not bad. Between the library and the coffee shop, I can work a ton of hours, and if I have enough saved I can take a few online summer classes.”
There’s a commotion outside the door - sounds like someone started some kind of drunken relay race. Alex makes a face and stands up. “I’ve had enough of people for one day. See you around, Guerin.”
He’s out the door before Michael can do more than wave in acknowledgment.
Michael doesn’t see Alex around, not for weeks, even though he’s looking. He still can’t bring himself to show up at The Grind when he knows Alex is working even though he wants to. Would Alex kiss him again, would he let Michael touch him? It feels like something changed between them, and Alex vanishes just when Michael wants to see what it means.
The weekend before finals, Chris insists they need to go to Francesco’s for dollar beer night. Despite the name, Francesco’s is a typical college dive bar - no one looks too hard at IDs and in return no one complains about the watered down beer.
Michael can hear the music before they even get to the door, and he remembers seeing some flyers around campus about a band night. “If the music sucks, I’m out,” he tells Chris.
“Don’t be a snob. No one comes here for the music.”
Chris pulls him through the door, and Michael comes to a complete stop when he sees the stage. Alex is up there - singing. He’s added a black leather jacket to his normal black jeans and Tshirt. His hair is spiked to razor points, eyeliner perfectly defined and his lips are red and shining like he just got done sucking cock. Michael can’t breathe.
He lets Chris drag him to the bar. But as soon as he has a beer, he’s pushing his way toward the stage, not checking or caring to see if Chris follows. Most people are crowded around the bar, staying within easy access to cheap beer, so he finds an open table just to the right of the stage.
Michael sits down and doesn’t bother to pretend he’s doing anything other than staring at Alex. Up close he can see the studded collar he has around his neck, the silver bracelets slipping down past the cuff of jacket, and the black polish on his nails.
It’s hot outside, even for May, and inside the bar it’s worse. Michael finishes his beer quickly, he’d get another but that would mean getting up and looking away from Alex. Instead he unbuttons the top half of the buttons on his shirt, pulls the fabric from his chest to get some air circulation. Alex keeps singing, doesn’t acknowledge Michael in any way, but Michael knows he’s watching. It makes him want to show off, keep Alex’s attention, so when he lets his shirt settle, he makes sure it falls to the side so one of his nipples is showing. Michael can see the amusement and desire in Alex’s eyes.
Alex’s band is good - they stick to well known emo cover songs. But Alex’s voice is the real star. It’s deep and sexy and, like everything else about Alex, goes straight to Michael’s dick. He’s so hard it’s all he can do not to touch himself right there. Michael knows he would do it too if he thought Alex could see.
Michael’s both relieved and disappointed when Alex announces their last song. On one hand he could watch Alex sing forever, but if Alex gets off the stage, Michael might be able to do more than watch. He can see the next band waiting on the other side of the stage as they launch into American Idiot. Alex is mesmerizing. Even the noise of the bar quiets some as more people stop to watch and listen.
Alex turns so he’s looking directly at Michael as he sings. When he gets to the line “Well, maybe I’m the faggot, America,” a chorus of cheers goes up across the bar. He winks at Michael and raises his middle finger toward the audience, smiling when some people respond in kind.
Michael can’t take any more of this. He's waiting at the edge of the stage before the song is even over. As soon as Alex gets off the stage, Michael grabs him by the arm and pulls him into the handicapped bathroom, quickly locking the door behind them.
“I’m going to kiss you right now, ok?” He barely gives Alex time to nod before his mouth is on his. Michael isn’t interested in gentle or finesse, he shoves his tongues into Alex’s mouth, rubs it around his piercing. He can't’ help thrusting against Alex, groaning when he feels Alex is hard too.
“That turn you on,” he pants, pulling his mouth away with effort. “Singing in front of all those people make you hard?”
“You make me hard,” Alex tells him. He slips his hand into Michael’s open shirt, rolling his nipple between his fingers, making Michael gasp. “Showing off, staring at me like you wanted to jump me right there on the stage.”
“I did, I would have if I didn’t think someone would stop us,” Michael confesses. He takes a breath and decides to go for it, ask Alex for what he wants. “Can I fuck you? Please.”
Alex’s eyes widen, but he nods and pulls a condom and lube out of his pocket and hands it to Michael.
“Always prepared,” Michael laughs. He sets them on the edge of the sink then freezes when he sees Alex shoving his pants down. He braces himself against the wall, ass out toward Michael. “God,’ he breathes. Michael reaches out and strokes the smooth, firm skin of Alex’s ass. He’s magnificent. He squeezes, kneads the muscles under his hand.
Alex moans, and Michael wishes he could take his time. He wants to touch and look, to lick and bite before he fucks him. But they’re in a public restroom on borrowed time. He gets his own pants down past his knees and puts the condom on. Once his fingers are coated with lube, he slips them between Alex’s cheeks. Michael spreads the lube up and down the crease of Alex’s ass, getting more lube when Alex presses back against his hand.
They both groan when he pushes his first finger into Alex. It’s been awhile since he’s done this to someone else, and he’s not sure how slow he needs to go. Alex isn’t fighting him though, he’s moving with Michael, and Michael adds a second finger.
“Like that,” Alex encourages him. “Deeper.”
Michael fucks Alex with his fingers, twisting and spreading them to open Alex up faster. He rests his head against Alex’s back, the scent of leather from his jacket surrounding him. He wants his mouth on Alex, but he remembers what Alex said about not touching his neck so instead he brings two fingers from his other hand to Alex’s mouth.
He presses his fingers to Alex's lips, moaning when Alex sucks them into his mouth. “Your fucking mouth,” he moans. “Your lips were so red and full, like you’d been sucking cock for hours. Is that what you did? Did you blow the band before you took the stage.”
Alex laughs and lets Michael fingers slip from his mouth. “Lip plumping gloss. But I like the way your mind works.”
“If we had more time, I’d ask you to suck me off after I fucked you,” Michael tells him just as he adds a third finger.
“Next time,” Alex promises as he pushes back into Michael’s hand. “Now get on with it and fuck me.”
Michael pulls his fingers out and hastily spreads some lube over the condom. He holds Alex’s hips still and pushes in as slow as he can. Alex is hot and tight and perfect around him. He wants to stay there forever.
“Move,” Alex demands.
Michael can hear Alex jerking himself off and he can’t hold back anymore. They move together, Michael fucking him hard and fast, trying to match the pace of Alex’s hand on his own dick. He comes a minute before Alex, feels Alex clench down on him when his own orgasm hits.
They wash their hands together in the sink,and Alex kisses him one more time before leaving. A quick, almost chaste kiss. “Have a nice summer, Michael,” he adds as he leaves.
Michael doesn’t see him when he makes his way back to the bar. He lets Chris buy him a few more beers before they head out and hit up another party. Alex isn’t there either so Michael lets the crowd and the drinks distract him from the thought of a long summer without seeing Alex again.
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤
Ohh, thanks love <3 I do like to talk about fic all day every day, lol
1) a partner to ride with you when I can’t an exploration of Max and Rosa’s dynamic and how it shifted from the last time they shared a scene together (2x07 iirc) and how they got from derogatory nicknames to cutesy sweet ones by 4x10. It’s a missing scene where Rosa comforts him and they both continue to bond over Liz (and Rosa gets to give him her blessing to marry her sister)
2) as long as the sea is bound to wash upon the sand memermaid au, with Liz as marine biologist who discovers “extra”terrestrial life (sorry not sorry) not to mention Max is a flailing butt naked fish out of water for five seconds, Kyle tells Liz she can’t keep it no matter how cute, Max is delighted to have an Earth name and Liz tries to understand Max’s biology via touching scales (never a good plan babe)
3) Swing Life Away I’d be lying not to put this up (even if my writing was still going through major learning curves) it’s just so dear to my heart, cause I started it a million years ago under the premise of discussing issues that exist but don’t get a lot of nuanced discussion (which I never quite got to- but it’s way more expansive in my head). But anyways Mutant Powers au, where the Evans triplets show up and derail Kyle Manuel Valenti’s life but at least Max nails his bi-curious coffin shut (with my first attempt at Malex -which I loved and grew so much more fond of them through- and Lizobel)
4) Crimson Red Paint On My Lips Joniz! Handprints! Sexy brunch! Sorry not sorry, they had a great push and pull, and Liz deserved to blow off some steam and fuck the villian. Also, I’m terribly proud of the dumb tvd reference.
5) cause this is my game and you better come to play just this is them, Max is in his pillow Princess era for some unforeseeable reason (aka I had too many moving parts I didn’t need him to be moving his hands…), anyways, any fic I can wax poetic about his heart surgery scar and have Liz call him little names and try and sound poetic while discussing Liz’s capabilities, mind and body, is an immediate favorite. Also! Have I ever mentioned how much fun I had shopping for her look in this fic?! Like the dildo doesn’t exist- but two do that I kinda smushed the concepts of, for the alien glass joke.
#roswell new mexico#rnm#rnm fic#max & rosa#rnm echo#valevans#joniz#max evans#liz ortecho#kyle valenti#rosa ortecho#mr jones#malex#lizobel#fic stuff#asks#thanks you so much for letting me ramble about my stuff <3
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SaL anon here my friend after a very, very long week. This is actually my 3rd attempt at sending you an ask. First, I finally had time and was excited to type up something for the latest episode and then the Buck LI stuff came out and the mood for that was killed. Next I had mostly typed up my salty thoughts only to have my internet go down (yes, I whined at home "what i was going to read??!!" and pointedly ignored my very much filled bookcase because my ships aren't in them). So here let's see if this one works out.
So how is it KR and the promo dept always manage to kill any joy we have when we get fed any kind of Buddie content (the follow-up to the Eddie getting shot, and the 5b and premier come to mind here)?? Seriously Buck and Eddie more or less went on a date and had family night together and almost immediately they came back with "look Buck and Eddie are going to go on dates!!". Its exhausting cause it seems like any time they put out a story that might even be slightly suggestive of them being more than platonic bros they insist on following it up with stories to "prove" they are, no matter how recycled those plots are.
And okay let's take a second here to ask WTF is KR doing with these characters? In 6b alone we've had Buck dying, a coma dream, PTSD, super powers, and now he's getting a crush, and we STILL haven't finished the accursed sperm donor storyline??!! Bobby and Athena investigated had the death of a beloved friend 🙄 plot, HenRen had the nonsensical Denny secretly seeing his Dad which was never an issue before plot, and Madney and Eddie are just kinda there?? The other characters have had at best one storyline where the audience has to either invent or rewrite the backstory for. But for Buck he's had like 50 plotlines, none of which have really gone anywhere? I love Buck but I'd rather have him have 1 good arc and resolution than whatever this bullshit is. I'd easily take that screentime and give it to any of the other characters if it meant we got 1 well thought out and executed storyline. Instead we're just recycling and redressing old plots for everyone else while KR uses a magnetic poetry set to plan what Buck's doing from episode to episode. We have 5 episodes left in the season, 4-5 guest characters that are going to be incorporated (including 2 much beloathed ones 🙄🙄🙄), and nothing really setup for our mains to do (even Eddie dating isn't setup, it literally hasn't come up after Ana and you'd think they could have in 6a while he was watching his son mature).
Anyway, I'll stop the rant here though there's definitely more I could say. I'll close off saying I hope you're feeling better today since this week looks like its been rough on you. Sending you virtual tea, soup, and hugs!!
Long week is RIGHT my friend! I'm so sorry you were foiled in your previous attempts! I am right there with you on the Buck LI stuff just...sucking a lot of the joy out of things for me. Because of course we're doing this again 🙄🙄🙄 I was even writing up notes on a possible fic and you KNOW I haven't written anything since Malex and even that was before s4 started. But alas. That sucks about the power going out! I hate when that happens especially if I was in the middle of something! (Also I am SO with you. I keep buying books and then just...not reading them because my brain says "it's not our blorbos so no.)
I am just...so tired at this point. Like yes these people *may* not stick around, but even so, I don't want to loose out on Buddie scenes and Buckley-Diaz family scenes! I don't want Buck to have 90% of his time and discussions with some new character I do not know or care about instead of Eddie and the firefam! They already tried to do that with BT and it was the woooooorst! I want Eddie to have screentime and arcs but again, I don't want the little time we DO get to be wasted on some random side character! And lets be honest, there is no person they can introduce at this point that can compare with the relationship Buck and Eddie have already built and the ways in which they are the perfect partners for what each other needs. So the options are to a) cut down on seeing that relationship so their new het ones don't look so shitty and lame in comparison, b) have these women be mostly just Blurry Girlfriends in the background with no personality or depth just to have the boys paired off so they don't have to do Buddie while still centering their relationship so people can't call them out for not committing to Buddie because their "friendship" looks basically the same, or c) give them LIs that are basically the other's personalities transplanted into a female body in order to have the relationship be anything close to what Buck and Eddie need in a life partner. These are all terrible options, and I hate them, more than I hate the idea of them ending up single even though it undercuts their own narrative set up for the characters but that's a cop-out too.
ANYWAY
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 to everything about Buck's 700 shitty arcs this season while everyone else is mostly twiddling their thumbs. KR is literally the worst at pacing and planning, and constructing a season with any kind of flow. On the bright side, Ravi is coming back and Chim is going to get to do something! I'm so excited! I was really hoping for more of him and Bobby teaming up last week because the little crumbs we got were GOLD.
I did have a very emotionally rollercoaster-y week and the show being Like This absolutely Did Not Help, but I am making it work. Mostly with loooots of fic. Cheers friend, lets see if we can make it through the finale intact, if Buddie dreams can make it through the finale intact, and if the SHOW can make it through the finale intact with how these renewal negotiations are going.
#my sweet nonnie friends#sleeping at last anon#911#911 spoilers#IDC how it turns out 5 episodes from now or next season this is literally a repeat of s2 AND s4#with eddie getting with someone and buck going back to trying to date right after#i am TIRED#i am OVER them running things in circles and going nowhere#and i am sick of kr ruining everything about the show with her incompetence and her obsession with cheap drama#GOD and the sperm donor thing is STILL fucking going!#didn't she say how “fun” it could be to see buck trying to date in the middle of all that?!#GOD if i think too hard about that storyline or the next few episodes i just get filled with rage#so i'm gonna go read some fic and calm down#but it is past time for her to go for REAL#get that woman AWAY from buck and his arcs and the whole damn show actually#brb gotta go scream into the woods for an hour
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Fic Tag Game
Thank you @wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart for the tag
How many works do you have on Ao3?
Works: 12
Fics: 11
One of my works is original fiction
2. What's your Ao3 word count?
242,814 (including 2 unfinished fics)
3. What fandoms do you write for?
At the moment Star Wars only, but when the mood strikes Roswell New Mexico as well.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Fix You (Star Wars, Obianidala)
Three Makes a Family (RNM, Malex)
One Love (RNM, Malex)
Halves of a Whole (Star Wars, Skywalker Dyad part 1)
Treacherous (RNM, Malexa)
5. Do you respond to comments?
When people actually comment, yes! I always feel my responses are superfluous, but I love when people take the time to comment.
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Probably Last Kiss, considering it ends with Padmé's death...
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Three Makes a Family, but it's been in edits for over a year so nobody gets to see how wholesome it ends because I haven't been able to put myself back into the RNM writing mood 😭
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I did in the RNM fandom because some people can't handle polyamory.
9. Do you write smut? What kind?
Not much. I usually default to fluffy smut. The closest I've come to actual smut in published fics is Treacherous, and it's focused on their feelings rather than the action.
10. Do you write cross-overs?
I tend to stay in one fandom at a time when writing.
11. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope. And I'm not sure I'd like it. I would be too worried about whether they got the tone right.
12. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
Once, when I was in the TVD fandom, years ago. The other two cowriters just stopped participating after like 3 chapters and told me I could do whatever, then got mad at me for taking the whole thing down.
13. What WIP you would like to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Ouch. Three Makes a Family is technically written, just not edited. So it's kinda finished...? But I haven't fallen back into the RNM mood, and the shitshow that was s4 made it very hard.
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
Ships come and go with my special interests, so ask me every few months and the answer will be different. Right now, I'm leaning toward Obikin/Anidala equally.
15. What are your writing strengths?
Writing out feelings and lyrical prose. (What is this, an interview? 😅)
16. What are your writing weaknesses?
Continuity in a long arc. My brain goes too fast and gets stuck on subplots. Halfway through a long project I usually have to rethink my idea for the ending (if I even knew where I was going in the first place) because I strayed so far from the original plot lol
On the bright side I am slowly learning to actually outline my fics 😂
17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
For real languages, it needs to be grammatically correct. I say this as a native French speaker who read way too many published novels where there's dialogue in French and it's absolutely awful.
For fandoms languages, have fun I guess! A translation in the notes or between parenthesis always helps tho.
18. First fandom you wrote for?
Either HP or Buffy, back when we posted on fanfiction.net. I read those fandoms a lot as a teen, but I can't remember if I wrote much back then.
19. Favourite fic you've ever written?
Treacherous maybe? I really love how it turned out.
20. What fic would you want to rewrite one day?
None. When I post a fic it's done in my head. If I start thinking about how it could be better, I'll never stop editing and rewriting it. And then no one would get to read it. My fics are by no means perfect, and there's always something bugging me about them when I reread them, but they represent my writing at that moment.
Tagging @bisexualalienss, @maeglinthebold, @burntblueberrywaffles, @palfriendpatine66 and @somethingsteff and anyone else who wants to do it. Feel free to ignore me 😉
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in light of that anon commenting on how the show never had michael apologize.... could you maybe write something where they don't get back together as easily (maybe alex and forrest don't break up) and michael has to actually fight to get alex back? 🥲
The amount of fics I've written for this! 😆
I'll try to tag as many as I can now, but not from the one shot collection because it's just way too long and there are too many, so you'd have to go through the whole collection to find them, but I'll tag the longer works here. I'm pretty sure this is most, if not all, of my malex happily ever after fics in which Michael fights and lowers his walls for Alex. (Future Rin edit: It is indeed all of my malex happily ever after fics.)
Lost Alex has been depressed, and Kyle comes to Michael for help.
Fearless Alex is moving, and Michael is scared.
Come With Me Alex notices the airstream in the Wild Pony parking lot.
Hurts Like Hell Alex and Forrest get into an accident, and Michael's upset that Alex is asking for Forrest when he wakes up in a hospital.
For Forever Michael fears he's pushed Alex away for good.
Remembrance After Alex makes an angry wish, Michael wakes to a reality where the two never met.
Cosmic Alex decides he's done with Roswell, but Michael doesn't want him to go.
Home, Love, Family Alex is hurt, and he calls Michael for help instead of Forrest.
Stay With Me Alex goes to talk to Michael after he finds out about Forrest's proposal. The second chapter is the happy malex ending.
The Other End Alex is leaving Roswell, and only wants to see Michael one last time.
Hidden Away Max and Isobel being witnesses to Malex's love in a cabin outside of Roswell.
Shrapnel Alex's PTSD comes back to haunt him after a narrow escape from death.
Forget Me Not After an attack against Mr. Jones, Michael forgets that he ever dated Maria.
More Than a Dream After an attack from Mr. Jones, Michael wakes up to find himself in a dream world where he and Alex are married.
#alex manes#michael guerin#malex#malex fic#roswell new mexico#roswell nm#malex angst#malex fluff#tyler blackburn#michael vlamis
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Hii lovely Bekka for fanfic ask: 🫶🏼
❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?
💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change? I'd love to hear your thoughts on gallavich and/or malex 🥰
💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?
Thank you Myn 💕
❤️
Hmm, tough one! I really like this one (I cannot remember where it's supposed to go 😅)
Because Buck didn't make rash decisions out of ego or stupidity, he made them out of that deep rooted fear inside him that he would never be enough, that maybe it was going to take all of him to finally be what the world needed of him.
💥
Okay so for Gallavich when they first got separated and Ian started dating other people, they made Ian seem like he was ashamed of being with Mickey, or that he cringed thinking about what they had, or that he was beneath him (which come on, they weren't perfect by any means, but they went through so much together). I would have loved to see the other side of that, maybe Ian finding an old picture of Mickey or going somewhere they used to and showing some kind of emotion like he missed him, because I can understand if he was using that stuff as a defence mechanism, we just didn't really see that side of it.
And for Malex, I think I would have just liked to see Alex more involved with the pod squad stuff, I feel like there were a lot of moments where it would have made sense for him to be there (the party at the start of S4 for example) but he just wasn't? I get a lot of that was Tyler's availability but still!
💛
That you don't need to write for anyone but yourself, if others enjoy it too then that's a bonus. When you write something you enjoy and love it's just more of an enjoyable process, and I think that's what it should be about in the first place. Write because you love it, not because you're trying to please someone!
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Full Malex Fic Roundup
This list will contain all of the Malex fics I’ve written so far:
A Kiss Goodbye
Feel Anything at All
Never Let This Go
These Little Moments
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Mimi fic recs
I miss Mimi already so I’m self-soothing rereading some old fics. I haven’t written any truly Mimi-centric fics but Mimi being a badass precog mother-to-everyone always figures prominently in the fics she’s in. I’m including a few I’ve written below. PLEASE reblog and add your own (or others’!).
Canon-adjacent fics where Mimi is healed
Those Wild Pony Nights
T, Malexa, 12k
The three of them didn’t see much of each other until Mimi came out of the pod two weeks later, as present and focused as she had ever been. Cured.
And Maria was so happy to have her mom back that she got completely shitfaced.
Everyone was at the Wild Pony celebrating, and Maria was technically working, but seemed to have forgotten that, so Max and Mimi picked up the slack at the bar, and everyone else picked up the slack with Maria.
Never Let You Go
E, Malexa, 40k
Michael was always sweet with Mimi, and always patient. It made Alex think of what Kyle said about all the aliens in Caulfield, how, even if they could have gotten them out, they’d have been unsocialized, practically feral, after 70 years of horrific internment.
Seeing Michael dealing with Mimi always made Alex think that Michael would have found a way to take care of them.
Only Drunks and Children Tell the Truth with @haloud
T, Malex, Marosa, 97k
Alex stepped up to Mimi, holding out the orange box. She took it, and opened it, looking at the bracelet. “I know you’re worried about Maria, but we’re worried about you. Don’t make me go all man of the house on you, Mimi, please. It’ll look bad for all of us. Just wear it. That or the necklace.”
“Did you boys make these?” Mimi asked, holding the bracelet to the light to examine the pollen in the beads.
“Mr. Sanders helped me make the beads, and Alex got the jewelry making stuff,” Michael said. “I know they’re not fancy or anything, but Alex is right. You both should have the protection you deserve.”
“Until we figure something else out,” Alex said.
AUs where Mimi is fine, actually
I Was Just An Only Child of the Universe (And Then I Found You) with @haloud
E, Malexa, Kaliz, 117k
Mimi turned to the pod in Alex's arms. Her voice rose in volume and octave. "And is this my grandbaby?!"
“Yep, this is her,” Alex said, holding up the little egg pod so Mimi could take it and coo sweet nothings at it.
“Wild,” Rosa said, and the tone of her voice was clear that it was a compliment. “Maria, did you hatch out of one of these?”
“No, we did it the old-fashioned way,” Mimi said, voice completely deadpan, broken only by cooing at the pod again, “lab cloning.”
Maria cackled. “Mama!”
“Secret government super-soldier program, very hush-hush.”
From Roswell with Love with @haloud
T, Malexa, 34k
“Our guests,” Mindy pointed to Nora and Michael, “are aliens.”
Michael bolted to his feet. “That’s ridiculous—”
“I—I’m sorry, but—Mom—” Maria began, almost laughing.
“I have something to tell you, too,” Mimi took this opportunity to tell Maria, taking her hand. “About your father.”
#mimi deluca#rnm spoilers#roswell new mexico#rnm fic#maria deluca#alex manes#michael guerin#rosa ortecho
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💕 self-love time! talk about which ones of YOUR creations (edits, artworks, fanfics) you like the most then send to other creators to do the same 💕
Setting aside the ~secret project~ I can't really talk about yet, I'll say the Malex fic I'm honestly proudest of is this two-part series:
you're my wonderwall
It's basically my definitive thoughts on Michael and Alex's relationship from their origins through their happily ever after, told in a narrative form that I really enjoyed writing... I think more Malex fans should give it a chance, hint hint.
(And shout-out to my favorite thing I've ever written but which for obvious reasons is not particularly popular, my Magicians Old Guard AU A Comet Pulled From Orbit. I used to be able to say that I'd never worked harder on any fic than I had on this one, but my current secret project actually takes the crown in that regard....)
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I deeply apologise for this, I honestly don’t have anyone else to talk to about this and you’re so nice and kind that I feel like I could do it with you. Please, ignore me if you want to, you don’t have to answer or post this. I’ve recently started writing fics (my first time doing it), and I’ve published 3 of them so far. But I cannot help but feel like they are bad, that I shouldn’t be writing them. I don’t get many "hits" and the ones that I get, don’t leave kudos or anything which makes me think that people hated it. They are "short" (the longest one has 4000 words) and I feel that that is not enough. I’m just having a hard time. I know that I shouldn’t care about if people like it, if they comment or leave kudos because I’m writing for me and all of that. But I really can’t help feeling like shit about it and comparing myself with other fic-writers out there. And every day I’m struggling with the idea of wanting to just delete everything. Maybe I just don’t have the mental state to deal with things like these and maybe I should just stop. Thank you for reading and I’m sorry again, you don’t have to answer this. Have a great day!
First of all, there's no need to apologize for anything, nonnie. *sends you a looooooooooooong virtual hug*
Secondly, I'm so sorry that you're feeling the way you do. Putting any kind of creativity out there is always nerve-wracking, especially when you're "new" to doing it. I can imagine how difficult this must be for you, especially bc you don't have anyone to talk to about it.
When I posted my first fic (well, technically not the very first, but the handful of things I wrote long before RNM don't really count imo) 3 years ago, I was dying inside. If it hadn't been for lovely fandom friends, I NEVER would've posted it.
As a non-native English speaker I always felt inadequate/not articulate enough to write in English, plus a million other things I thought my writing was lacking, so I never even tried (before RNM I hadn't written anything in over a decade). Until Malex came along and the urge to write was so overwhelming that I gave it a shot.
And man, I'm so happy that I did. But again, I only posted it bc I had friends who beta-read it for me, who encouraged me and told me it wasn't in fact crap. And lo and behold, I've written a couple more fics over time, and I feel more confident about it nowadays (still dying inside tho when I post something new, that will probably never change :P).
Something that's really hard is not comparing your own writing to that of other writers - especially those who get tons of kudos and comments. In that same regard, it's really hard not to compare the number of hits and kudos your fics are getting to the numbers other writers' writing generates.
Anyway, comparing ourselves to others, that way madness (and unhappiness) lies. Looking at other writers' writing as an inspiration, YES, comparing our own writing to that of others, NO. Easier said than done, I know. :/
Anyway, I think what could be really helpful to you, is joining one of RNM (I'm assuming that you're writing RNM fic, if not, please replace that with the fandom you're writing for) Discord servers. Many fandom writers gather there, chat about fics, bounce ideas around, organize writing sprints, offer beta-reading, and so on. Getting input from others is just so cool and reassuring.
Additional plus: when you post a new fic, there are already a couple of people who know about it and they are often willing to signal-boost a new fic with reblogs.
As for the length of your fics: 4K is amazing, but by far not a necessary word count to attract readers. Most of my fics are shorter, and while I'm certainly not the queen of Kudos/comments, people are kind enough to read my fics. So, really, shorter fics are absolutely okay.
I really hope you'll reconsider re deleting everything. It would be a loss - for the fandom, but also for yourself. You put a lot of work into writing these stories, be kind to yourself and just take the [current] lack of "interaction" for what it is: you are new to this, and most people probably just haven't realized that there's a new writer in town. (Also, if you're writing RNM fic... fandom is still in total hibernation mode, I really hope that changes when S4 starts airing)
Sending you lots of love and writerly encouragement, nonnie. Please keep writing. Please keep putting yourself out there. And most importantly: find "your people", a "cheerleading squad" (and if it's just a squad of one person, squad is squad!) that has your back.
YOU CAN DO IT, I BELIEVE IN YOU! ❤️
P.S.: Funny enough but I'm not a member of any of the open RNM Discord servers, so, if anyone knows of a server or even runs one, please drop a link in the comments or send me a DM and I'll add a link to this post, thanks! 🙌
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Malex Fic - I can’t get the language right
This is a late response to the May prompt of ‘Missing Mom’ on @alexguerinappreciation.
I can’t get the language right on AO3
Title from “Part of the Band” by The 1975
Summary: It’s a generic card - drawing of a wedding cake on the front, one line message inside - “Wishing you a lifetime of happiness.” But it’s the signature that leaves both of them speechless. Loopy handwriting in blue pen spells out “Love, Mom.”
When Alex and Michael get back from their honeymoon, Isobel has their mail separated into three piles labeled - “might be important,” “probably junk,” and “cards: do NOT throw these away. Rosa wants to make you something and she will kill me if you throw these away.”
“Nice to know there’s someone your sister is afraid of,” Alex laughs when he reads the note.
“Do you want to be the one to tell Rosa we forgot about the personalized gift she wants to make us?” Michael asks.
“Nope,” Alex says quickly. Rosa had been very clear about what she wanted, and Alex couldn’t wait to see what she created for them.
They don’t bother with the mail until after they’ve showered and had dinner. The junk and maybe important piles are dealt with quickly since most of the mail marked as important is also junk. They open the cards together, Alex recording them in a notebook Maria gave him for keeping track of wedding details.
Michael teases him when he brings it out. “Please tell me we don’t have to send thank you cards to people for cards.”
“No,” Alex reassures him. “It’s just nice to remember.”
Michael’s expression softens, and he squeezes Alex’s hand before opening the first card. It’s not a big pile, most everyone who mattered was at the wedding. Some are from people Alex works with at Deep Sky, there are a few from people he served with although he’s not sure how they even know he’s married, there are names Michael recognizes from odd jobs he’s done over the years, and one signed from Linsday with a heart over the “i,” who Michael once had a month long friends with benefits relationship with.
The card after Lindsay’s is addressed to “Alex Manes and Spouse.” Michael laughs when he reads it, “Maybe this is from one of you exes.”
“Not likely,” Alex snorts, watching while Michael flips the card over and carefully opens it.
It’s a generic card - drawing of a wedding cake on the front, one line message inside - “Wishing you a lifetime of happiness.” But it’s the signature that leaves both of them speechless. Loopy handwriting in blue pen spells out “Love, Mom.”
“Guess it’s yours after all,” Michael tries to joke. When Alex doesn’t react, he clears his throat and starts again. “Did you?”
“No,” Alex jumps in, “I didn’t.” He doesn’t finish, but Michael nods, understanding what he doesn’t say. Maybe if the wedding hadn’t been a rush, if they had really planned any of it, he would have thought about his mother. But he never would have done anything without talking to Michael.
Michael turns the envelope back over and studies it. “Surprised she kept your dad’s name,” he says, tapping at the return address.
“M. Manes” is written in the same blue pen above an address Alex knows is about an hour from Greg’s. He’s not surprised she’s so close since Greg told him he’d met her for dinner a few times. The name is a surprise though. “I didn’t know. She never,” Alex trails off and sighs.
“It’s ok,” Michael says softly, reaching over and taking Alex’s hand. “Let’s see what else we got.”
Alex sets the card from his mother aside, separate from the pile they are saving for Rosa. But when Michael reaches for the next card, Alex stops him. It feels wrong to continue. Going through cards was supposed to be fun, another chance to remember their wedding, but now there is a weight over them, the specter of his mother and things left unsaid.
“I’ll be right back,” Alex tells Michael then walks back to his office. Once there, he takes a manila envelope out of the bottom drawer. He hates that this is all he has to show Michael, not even enough to put in a box. But it’s all he has, and he knows Michael will understand.
Michael is waiting at the table when Alex gets back, but he’s cleared away the mail and all the cards, but the one from his mother. He gives Alex an encouraging smile when he sits back down.
“She never included an address before,” he explains as he takes four cards out of the envelope and places them on the table. “I never knew where she was.”
Michael nods, but doesn’t pick up the cards. “You talked to her, though right? About Project Shepherd?”
“Yes, but I didn’t call her directly. I left a message with one of her cousins, and she called me back from a private number. It wasn’t,” Alex hesitates, not sure how to explain. Michael knows he could have traced the number if he wanted to, but he hadn’t. “It wasn’t a personal conversation.”
When Michael doesn’t reach for the cards, just waits to see what Alex wants to do, Alex hands them to him one by one. He keeps them in chronological order and lets Michael know when each was sent. “When I started high school,” he says when he hands Michael the first card in the pile.
Michael turns the envelope over in his hand, looks to see as Alex has said there was no return address. He’s careful with the card, gently pulling it from the envelope and returning it with just as much care once he’s read it. It only takes a few seconds to see what is there, or more glaringly what isn’t there.
“My sixteenth birthday, graduation, this one came when I was in rehab,” he hands the last card over to Michael, aware how small the pile of four cards must seem. There are all simple, basic messages - “Good Luck,” “Happy Birthday,” "Congratulations” and “Get Well Soon.” The insides are bare save whatever generic message the card came with and the same signature each time, “Love, Mom.” There are no personal messages, not even his name written inside.
When Michael hands them back to him, hands gentle as if they are somehow precious, he adds, “She sent me a sympathy card after Dad died. I threw it away.”
That gets a laugh and smile from Michael before he turns serious again. “Do you think there were more Jesse never gave you?”
“No.” The answer’s easy because Alex thought about this a lot when he was younger. “Dad was really weird about Mom. Once she was gone, he never spoke about her, not once. I remember one morning we woke up and she wasn’t there, Dad got us ready and took us to school, and when we got home, everything of hers was gone. He told us she had left and wasn’t coming back, and that was that.”
“You must have had questions,” Michael prompts him.
“Yeah, but by then we knew not to ask. He never talked about her, but he never criticized her either, just pretended she never existed. But when the cards came - Clay was the first one - he just handed them to us and walked away. It was hard to figure out the pattern, we all got the same ones, and every time Dad just gave them to us.”
“That is weird for Jesse,” Michael agrees.
“I think he loved her, as much as he could love. They were together before Tripp died, before Harlan fed him his poisoned theories and brought him into Project Shepherd. Maybe that’s why she stayed as long as she did, she remembered who he was before.” Alex shrugs. He’s not sure any of that matters. His mother left and his father was abusive. How their story started doesn’t change any of that.
Alex picks up the card and stares at the return address before setting it down with a sigh.
“Why do you think she included her address this time?”
“She’s been talking to Greg, maybe he convinced her to let me know where she is.” The uncharitable part of Alex wondered if she knew Greg would tell him if he asked so there was no point in hiding, but he doesn’t say that out loud.
“What do you want to do?”
“What can I do?” Alex asks. “It’s been over twenty years. Am I just supposed to show up at her house and what, talk?”
“Maybe, if that’s what you want,” Michael shrugs. “Maybe this is her way of reaching out, of letting you know she’s ready.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready.” It comes out sharper than he intended - brittle and defensive. Alex sighs, hating how emotional he still gets when he thinks about his mother.
“Then you’re not ready,” Michael shrugs like it’s that easy. “You don’t have to be ready just because she might be.”
“I don’t want to be angry,” Alex admits. Michael drops a hand to his thigh and squeezes gently, silently encouraging him to continue. “Leaving was the right decision. I understand why she did it, and I’m glad she got out, that she didn’t have to suffer.”
“That she didn’t have to suffer like you did,” Michael finishes for him quietly.
“Yeah,” Alex agrees, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. “It was the right decision for her, I know that. Hell, if anyone should understand, it should be me. I did the same thing to you - left you behind when I couldn’t stand to stay.”
“It’s not the same thing,” Michael cuts him off quickly. He doesn’t sound angry, just frustrated. “I had my own ways out, I made my own decision to stay. You didn’t leave me in his house, at his mercy. You were my boyfriend, Alex, not,” Michael stops, runs a hand through his hair and takes a breath. “You were my boyfriend, not my mother. You weren’t responsible for my safety. You can understand why she left and still be hurt and angry that she left you behind.”
“She didn’t have a choice,” Alex shakes his head. “Dad never would have let us go. His wife leaving was bad enough, but he would have fought her, brought us back one way or another. She did the right thing.”
“Alex,” Michael says, then he waits, infinitely patient.
“I don’t want to be angry,” Alex finally repeats because it’s the only thing he knows. When he thinks about seeing his mother, all he can imagine is all the pain and hurt he’s been hiding coming out in accusations and recriminations. It scares him,and he doesn’t want to be that person.
“She might have done the best thing for her, but it doesn’t mean it was the right thing for you. It’s alright to be angry,” Michael says gently. “It’s alright to not want to see her or talk to her. She might be ready to reach out, but it doesn’t mean you are. It’s up to you, not her, how you respond or if you just want to ignore it.”
“Up to me?” Alex laughs. Something about that brings some of his anger to the surface, but he’s not afraid because he knows it’s safe with Michael. “None of this has ever been up to me. She left - no goodbye, no note. She was just gone. And by the time I got used to that, she sent Clay the first card. I thought she was coming back, but she didn’t. And every time, even after I knew better, I’d start looking for her. At the grocery store, in the school parking lot, in the stands at Greg’s basketball games, at my graduation. But she was never there. This is all I have of her,” Alex picks the cards up and shoves them back in the envelope. “I don’t know what they mean. I never have.”
“Hey,” Michael takes the envelope from Alex’s hands and sets it back on the table. “Let’s leave this for tonight. You don’t need to do anything right now. Just come to bed, let me take care of you.”
Alex follows Michael back to their bedroom. He lets Michael hover as they get ready for bed, lets Michael hold him and whisper how much he loves him into his skin. It feels selfish, but Alex would do the same for Michael, has done the same for Michael so he stays in Michael’s arms until the hurt and anger fade away. Until he remembers that he’s loved now and that’s what matters.
Alex thinks of his mother often over the next few weeks. Time doesn’t bring clarity, he’s as conflicted about how to respond to her card as he was when he first saw it. He thinks about calling Greg, but he doesn’t want to interfere with whatever relationship Greg is trying to build with her. It’s not fair to ask Greg to interpret her motives,and he doesn’t want Greg to feel like he needs to pick sides.
He ends up in the card aisle at the grocery store trying to find a card that doesn’t say too much, isn’t a confession he’s not ready to make, before his ice cream melts. He settles on a card with a watercolor bouquet of wildflowers on the outside and the simple message, “Thinking of you” on the inside.
Michael finds the card when he’s helping Alex unload the groceries. He wrinkles his nose at the muted bouquet on the cover, “I hope this isn’t for me.”
“No,” Alex comes up behind Michael, wraps his arms around him and kisses his neck. “You know I’m always thinking about you.”
“You’d better be,” Michael teases. He turns in Alex’s arms and kisses him sweetly, then nips at his lip before going back to the groceries.
Alex takes the card and sets it on the coffee table. He goes back to the kitchen and doesn’t think about it. He doesn’t think about it while they debate about dinner before finally making pasta. Or after dinner, when they meet Isobel and Kyle at the Wild Pony.
Maria started experimenting with a trivia night while they were on their honeymoon, and Isobel convinced them to play together. She hands them T-shirts that say “Team Alien Lovers” in rainbow glitter as soon as they sit down. Michael threatens to leave until Isobel promises to pay for all their drinks. They crush the other teams and come home laughing and buzzed and Alex doesn’t think about the card at all.
He’s still not thinking about the card the next morning when Michael joins him in the shower, and he’s almost late for work. When he gets home, he can’t help but notice the bright yellow envelope on the table, but Michael comes in right behind him with take out from the Crashdown. They eat dinner outside and spend the night by the fire pit Alex had put in as a surprise for Michael. He thinks of nothing but how happy he is and how much he loves his husband.
Friday is an early day for Alex, and he’s home a few hours before Michael. He normally fills the time with chores or working on his personal research projects, but he’s too restless to settle on one thing. He moves from room to room, half heartedly starting something only to end up back in the living room staring at the blank envelope. Alex finally gives in and picks up the card, sitting at the table and intending to fill it out quickly.
He’s still there when Michael gets home. Michael must have said something when he comes in, but Alex doesn’t hear him. Instead, Michael’s hands on his shoulders are his first indication that he’s not alone. He relaxes into the touch, smiling when Michael kisses the back of his head. When Michael starts to move away, Ales grabs his hand and tugs him into the chair next to him.
Michael sits with him, one hand between his shoulder blades in support, while he flips the pen between his fingers and tries to figure out what to say.
“It’s Alex Guerin now. I took Michael’s name when we got married. He’s the best part of my life, and I want him and everyone else to know it. He’s brilliant and kind and loyal and beautiful. I want to say I know you would love him, but I don’t know. I don’t know enough about you to know how you will feel about him. I don’t know if you will care that he’s a man or that he’s not Native. I don’t know if you can love me let alone Michael.”
He thinks it, but he doesn’t write any of that.
“I feel like I should say I miss you, but I don’t know if that’s true. It’s been so long I don’t know if I miss you or if I miss the idea of you. I told Michael I don’t want to be angry, and I’m trying not to be. But sometimes anger is easier than hurt or fear. And I know I’m afraid to see you again, afraid of what I might say or feel. Afraid of what you will think of me, if you’ll be disappointed.”
He doesn’t write that or this either:
“I always wondered what happened to you. If I ran away to the Reservation, would I find you there? Or were across the country or even on another continent. Did you get married again, did you have other children? I used to imagine you married a millionaire or a prince and you would come rescue us, but you never did. I held on to that dream for a long time, longer than I should have until Dad finally beat all hope out of me. I always imagined you were happy, happier than I was. If you were then you made the right decision. You choose your safety and happiness over mine, and I always wanted to believe it was worth it even though it hurt. I don’t know if it will hurt more to find out that it’s true or to learn that you haven’t been happy, and we both suffered alone. I don’t know if I’m brave enough to find out.”
When Alex finally figures out what he does want to say, he writes it quickly before he can change his mind. Once the card is ready to go, he turns to Michael, “What now?”
Michael smiles and kisses him softly. “How about we go for a ride?”
He drives them to the post office, and waits patiently for Alex to get the courage to mail it.
“Thanks,” he says to Michael once he’s done.
Michael looks at him carefully, “Are you ok?”
“Yeah, I am,” Alex tells him honestly. “Let’s get out of here.”
He threads his fingers through Michael, squeezing his hand as they head back home. Alex realizes he’s looking forward to the weekend. They have no plans, but he’s sure they’ll come up with something. For tonight, they’ll cook together, spend the evening relaxing and making love. Then they’ll sleep in and wake up together and fill the hours together.
Sometime next week, his mother will get the card he sent. But now that it’s mailed, he feels nothing but relief. Maybe it will be a beginning or maybe nothing will change. Either way, Alex has said all he can for now, writing simply, “Love, Alex.”
#malex fic#rnm fic#my fic#alexguerinmonthly#alex's complicated feeling about his mother#possible reconcillation#Michael as the awesome husband he is
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤
In no particular order, here are five of my favourite fics that I've written:
Under the stars: a malex wedding fic that I wrote in 2021 and is still to this day the longest fic I've posted
it took me years to write, will you take a look: a Maria centric fic, where she writes letters to her friends through the years
higher, faster, never-crashing: an outsider pov on malex, written for @the-magpieprince's birthday
Hey Mrs. Potter, I burn for you: post s4 fic, which only really serves as an excuse for me doing some science-fiction science
You are the Superwoman to my Lois Lane: a series focusing on anatsobel, with a lot of fluff (and I'm particularly proud of it because fluff is not easy)
Thank you for the ask! There are so many more fics that I am proud of and that I could about for hours!
#these are the ones that ive thought about recently#both because i need to update a few of them and because there are definitely some of my favourite fics ive wrote#thesquidkid writes
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Oh man....All the Malex one shot ideas that float around in my brain that will never be written because I can’t write to save my life.
#alex manes#roswell new mexico#malex#michael guerin#malex fics that will never be written#malex fics
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so......... i wrote something about malex after 3x07 like a total loser, pls take this as proof of me being the most untalented person alive ENJOY!!!
:////
Alex finally texted everyone to let them know he found Kyle and he was ok. "In a coma, but ok."
Michael and Liz showed up half an hour later to check on them. Liz rushed in to Kyle's bed carrying some medical tools she brought to try and run some tests. She had the usual worried expression on her face, but the relief in just seeing the sight of Kyle was apparent. Michael stood by the entrance of the barn, letting himself breathe in relief too.
Alex came closer, hesitant, his hands tucked inside the pockets of his jacket.
"Why is Kyle in a barn in the middle of the desert? And also, since we are on this topic, how the hell did you find him?" Michael asked, worry and fear disguised as anger, as usual.
Alex almost regretted texting him. He didn't want to put anyone in danger, specially Michael, who is known for running head in into danger. But he knew he needed help, and Michael had been offering it for a long time.
"Yeah, I know, we need to talk."
-----------------
"You're working on a machine that's killing you??" Michael yelled, standing up.
They are outside the barn, Alex sitting in a tree trunk. Liz still inside, talking to an unconscious Kyle.
Alex scoffed. "I just told you I'm working for yet another organization that may be targeting aliens and that's what got your attention?"
"Well, aparently there's always some organization targeting us. I honestly don't know how we managed to escape becoming lab rats for this long." Michael holds back the usual sarcastic smirk, and after a second, he looks down. "But yeah, of course I am worried about you, because you've been keeping all these secrets."
Now it's Alex's turn to look away, unable to hold Michael's stare and explain that if something were to happened to him, Alex would never forgive himself. He glances at Michael's covered left hand.
"I'm fine." Alex finally says. He looks over to the barn. "And I think I can find a way to help Kyle. But I need your help."
Michael doesn't say anything, the expression on his face implying that Alex didn't even need to ask.
------------
Alex is driving the car, forcibly grabbing the steering wheel, his knuckles pale white. Michael notices it but doesn't say anything.
The plan, or... something resembling a plan, is to get the Lockhart machine. Something in the files caught Alex's attention and he realized that with an alien engineer, they could find out something helpful.
Michael looked outside the window, thinking about too many things. The machine's dangerous radiation emission, Alex's evasive behaviour the other day, Max missing, his fucking dad, Kyle and Maria both in a coma and nothing he could do about it. He closed his eyes.
"You know, when I found out about you being an alien, I was so scared of what that could mean. There was already so much going on between us." Alex broke the silence, as if he could read Michael's cloudy mind. "Kyle was the one who convinced me to just... talk to you." pause. "He said I was treating it like a confrontation. War."
"Yeah, you do that a lot." Michael replied.
"I know... I just- I don't know how to talk to you." Alex kept his eyes on the road.
"I guess that makes two of us." Michael breathes in. "Stop the car." He says.
"What? No."
"Alex, stop the car or I will."
Having no other choice, Alex stepped on the brakes, getting off the road. Michael opened the door and got out, leaning on the side of the truck.
Alex sighs, still on the seat, hands on the wheel. "Why are we always running away from each other?" He says, mostly to himself.
"Just to be pulled back again." Michael adds. "Get out of the car, I need to say something."
He waits, unsure. Alex stands up in front of him, both separated by the car.
"I don't know how to make you understand. I have been in love with you for amost half my life now. And I'm here. You can talk to me. I want you to talk to me. It's not war."
Michael doesn't know what else to say, words don't come easy for him. But he thinks about everything he has lost and everything that's crumbling right now, and all he knows is that he doesn't want to lose Alex too.
Alex looks away and doesn't say anything for what feels like eternity for both of them. Just as Michael is about to give up and get back in the car, Alex shouts "I love you. Present tense. Never stopped. And I know this isn't enough but... I want to talk to you too." And as simples as that, that's a start. Their start.
Michael's look almost makes Alex forget every single thing that's been weighing on his back for years.
And for a moment, for both of them, there's no pain.
"So... let's save our friends?" Michael asks, the smirk back on his face.
Alex nods, his lips on a smile too. "Just get in the car, Guerin."
#bitch............. this sucks ass!!!!! have never written anything good in my entire life im so sorry beloved mutuals that are seeing this#anywayyyyyy#roswell new mexico#rnm fanfic#malex fic#malex#literally fuckkkk!!!!!! sighhhhh
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Listen, I fully expect S3 to give us the most unsubtle ‘meeting in the middle’ possible. Here’s what I think that could look like but with a soulmates au twist. Really I just got this image of them kissing in the middle of a highway, their cars off to the side facing different directions. And thought they deserved a wide shot, open space kiss like Echo. Enjoy! Written for Day 2 of Alex Appreciation Week.
Ever since Michael had explained the soul bond to him, Alex couldn’t stop thinking about it. About the potential of their relationship, their future. Even if they weren’t together, the soul bond felt like a new beginning – an impossible thing made possible. And Alex was determined not to waste that potential, but first he needed a sign that this wasn’t complete and utter bullshit.
He decided to sit outside while he tried the idea that had popped into his head. Underneath the desert sky, open to all the possibilities of the universe. The sky was bright, cloudless – the sun hung hot and heavy overhead. Alex settled into his favorite patio chair and took several deep breaths to calm himself and clear his head. Michael had briefly mentioned a psychic bond and the chance of telepathic communication depending on how strong their soul bond was.
So, Alex centered his focus on Michael and began to speak out loud – quietly at first – and then with a more intense conviction. Nothing serious, just random thoughts – bits and bobs – a hello and how was your day. Nothing happened. He frowned and took several more breaths. Tried again – this time silently. He sent Michael thoughts and images instead of words. At first the scene around him – blue sky, patio table, the hanging lights strung through the tree in his front yard. Then more personal images – Michael playing the guitar, smiling, laughing. The kiss all those years ago in the museum. Sweat began to bead down his neck.
Across town, Michael rummaged elbow deep in the busted engine of an old Subaru. The damn car had been giving him headaches all day. If he had been an insurance inspector, he’d have just totaled the wrecked SUV and moved on with his life. But old man Sanders owed this guy a favor so here he was with newly cracked knuckles trying to help the helpless. He was cursing a rusted bolt when he got a sudden flash in his head. Of himself, playing the guitar. Pulling back out of the engine bay, he shook his head and turned to get some water, convinced the midday sun was fucking with his mind. But then more images followed. All were images of himself until he was suddenly right back in the UFO Emporium kissing Alex. Bright Eyes playing distantly in the back of his mind.
Before he could convince himself he was having a sunstroke, he closed his eyes and tried to reach out to Isobel. She’d been determined to get him back with Alex these past few weeks and so maybe she was driving him down memory lane somehow. Her powers were growing stronger every day. But it wasn’t Isobel he found; it was Alex. Just there. In his mind. He could feel him sitting on his front patio, sun warming his skin, smug grin plastered across his face. A feeling like nothing he could have ever imagined washed over him. He laughed, grabbed his keys, and jumped into his truck.
Alex closed the connection and jogged to his Explorer, pulled out of his driveway and headed directly toward Michael. Midway down route 40 he saw the old Silverado approaching him at a maddening speed. Simultaneously, they both pulled off onto opposite sides of the highway and hopped out of their cars. Facing each other across the blazing blacktop. Chests heaving, both wanting to take that first step but hesitant. The weight of the past still lingered.
Closing his eyes, Alex opened the connection again and sent one final image – himself at his keyboard singing the one line that mattered right now. And then they were moving towards to each. Hands tangling together and then desperately tugging at collars, arms circling tight around necks, lips pressing urgently against lips. All in the middle of route 40, the middle of some anonymous dusty scrubland, the middle of nowhere America. All on a planet in the middle of some minor galaxy. And it was exactly as perfect as you’d expect.
#alexweek2020#alexappreciation2020#malex#malex fic#alex manes#michael guerin#it's just pure fluff#I've never written this much fluff in my life#but these two are so fucking soft#fight me
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