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46ten · 30 days

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Elizabeth S. Hamilton at the Constitutional Convention, June 1797

Elizabeth Schuyler attended a diplomatic meeting at the age of 6; as a teenager, she hosted politicians solo; her relationship with George Washington predates Alexander Hamilton's. As a married adult, she stood in for Martha Washington, she led the Republican Court in NYC, she led charitable endeavors, and she hosted any number of national and international figures, from bankers to politicians, etc. U.S. presidents through the 1840s paid homage to her. But as so many women of the early Republic were, she was pretty deliberately erased. Particularly excised were the contributions and political activism of the Federalist wives - the amount of influence these women had could not be discussed.

And so by the late 20th century, we have historians writing that ESH didn't like politics and was sickly, usually pregnant, and often absent from her husband, but at least she tried to make a nice cozy environment for the Great Alexander Hamilton to go home and snuggle in, or something like that, as though it didn't occur to these historians that Elizabeth Schuyler likely could have married any number of wealthy, accomplished (and distant relative) men and lived a very comfortable life of luxury in Albany. And yet she looked at the super-charismatic guy who everyone said was brilliant, but with no steady income, not even a lawyer yet and with no ties to Albany, but noted as highly ambitious and said, "yep, he's the one!" Spoiler: she did it because she was ambitious herself and recognized that theirs could be a strong strategic/political partnership, in addition to a strong marriage. (I'm sure it was also good for her ego that he declared himself her best friend after only a few weeks and was so far gone he couldn't remember a military password after an evening with her.)

This erasure led to the common assumption that Elizabeth was not in Philadelphia at the Constitutional Convention in summer 1787. However, statutesandstories.com has posted about new evidence - really, a more careful examination and reading of old documents - that ESH was in Philadelphia in June 1797, and was likely in the city at the time of AH's June 18th speech to the convention. The theory is that she traveled with the Knoxes from NYC to Philadelphia, as she's mentioned in a letter from Knox that she is traveling with them, and she's definitely with AH on June 19th, as they are recorded in a journal/diary at a social engagement also attended by George Washington. Additional conjecture that this letter from AH can be more tightly dated to this period, considering these lines:

I cannot yet determine what will be our stay here and consequently I can make no determinations about my love; but I feel that it will be impossible for me to submit to a long separation however inconvenient it may be to incur the expence which will attend her coming here.

Which may align with EH borrowing money for this travel from her brother-in-law, Stephen van Rensselaer, also possibly more tightly dated to this period.

Please check out the well-cited posts (3 parts): 1, 2, and 3

Although no Hamilton biographers have discussed Eliza’s trip to the Convention in June, historians from Independence National Historic Park (INHP) concluded in the 1980s that Eliza was one of as many as nine wives who likely “attended” the Convention. Part 4 (pending) will discuss Eliza Hamilton’s relationship with the other eight wives who likely were in Philadelphia during the Convention, including Rufus King’s wife, Mary Alsop King, who was a native New Yorker.

This makes total sense to me - not just the documentation presented, but that she would have shown up to perform soft politicking/diplomacy around her husband's activities, in addition to a possible role assisting him in the drafting and editing of his speech. The daughter of Philip Schuyler and Catharine Van Rensselaer wasn't going to sit in NYC on the sidelines for this - she bolstered Hamilton not only in the ways she was personally helpful to him (emotionally, but also going over his writings and speeches with him), but through her representation of the wealthy Dutch-American interests, showing that Hamilton was a junior delegate from NY with a lot of political and financial power backing him.

As the blog states:

Yet it remains possible that Eliza may have helped her husband prepare for his one-of-a-kind speech on June 18. Moreover, it is felt that the possibility of informal, behind-the-scenes contributions by Eliza cries out for further examination.

Cause ya know, she's not discussing new threads for her needlework and thoughts on child-weaning at all these social gatherings or standing in for Martha Washington and chatting with Martha's husband about the best ways to make pastry.

And I just love if she helped advise him on a speech that only the "rich and well-born" can make a strong government. I'm sure they felt quite haughty and proud and said, "let's make another baby!" (James Alexander Hamilton was born around 9 months later.)

#elizabeth schuyler hamilton #alexander hamilton #u.s. constitution #Henry Knox #Lucy Knox

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smallearthboundfindings · 1 year

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ooooh! Maria/Queen Mary for the ask game.

Ooh, Maria, Maria... This gets me into a good chance to talking about something involving her Magicant. Since it is a manifestation of her subconscious, I find it funny you first enter it via a cave instead of though any sort of direct discussion with her. She is never seen in-person, which is just so mysterious to me, so here's what I think the cave's deal is: that is where she and George first met Giegue. This can been seen by the password that clearly has some connection to Giegue "Who has lost his tail? The forgotten one from the ship that sails the cosmos." and the fact that the answer itself was in George's Journal.

When the first disappearances during that time happened, here's what I think happened: Giegue was part of some alien explorer's ship and somehow got stranded in that cave. The previous disappearances where people simply returned were Giegue's crew (I'm guessing he was probably an orphan but that's a different discussion) just picking up people trying to find him, realizing they had the wrong lead, and simply releasing them again, but George in his reporter's nosiness actually found Giegue and Maria soon followed to the very cave where the entrance to Magicant is, adopting him as their own until they were eventually the ones taken and kept around as babysitters of sorts until George escaped.

Maria didn't.

And at that point, she knew too much, they couldn't just release her again. Especially not with the revenge they had to plan against George in the future for taking their secrets of PSI.

However, the cave was so linked to her emotionally that the link to her Magicant formed there. In fact, as I write this, seeing as George had the password, he must have at least visited her a few times there to keep contact while he was on earth and she wasn't, but over time, he became far too engulfed researching PSI, visiting less and less frequently until he died. And Maria forgot. The link remains due to her strong lingering memories and likely some form of latent PSI but no one visited it until Ninten. She was just sad and lonely knowing something was clearly missing, but no longer remembering what, until he came along. Poor Maria... At least she died in peace upon finally remembering those she used to love. How tragic once you actually think about her.

#not a finding #ask game #headcanon #maria mother 1 #george mother 1 #giygas #mother 1 spoilers #long post #how did this become long #goodness how did this become an essay??#oh well thanks for asking!#mother 1 lore go brrrrr

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xprojectrpg · 5 months

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This Day in X-Project - December 9

PHASE 2

2015: Case File: A Better Mole Trap: Lorna lets Wanda know what happened the night before and that she’s recovering; Warren wakes up in the hospital with Sue at his side; Warren posts an update for everyone. Warren texts Felicia to help spread a cover story. Arthur texts X-Factor to see how they're faring after their fight. Amanda texts Marie-Ange, Doug, Jubilee and Scott saying it seems X-Factor found the new world's Sabretooth.

2016: Jubilee makes a journal entry about watching Unbreakable.

2017: Bobbi makes a journal entry pondering what Warren’s Christmas actions mean with respect to her.

2018: Darcy posts a Queen tribute to Chanukah to celebrate the last night. Kevin drops in on Gabriel with booze and disarming honesty as they discuss his reasons for leaving. Terry and Jean meet up for shopping and donuts.

2019: Laurie, in response to Artie, posts a reminder that she is a medical professional and cannot control minds. Clarice asks if anyone would like to join her for cooking classes and condemns the mold growing. Marie-Ange emails Doug, asking him to change her password. Jean updates those involved in her Secret Santa that they have their assignment.

2020:

2021: Maya posts happily about snow. Terry announces warm drinks are in the kitchen.

2022: Alex complains about Christmas music and reminds everyone about the holiday donations.

#this day in xproject #plots #plot #xprpg #xproject #phase 2 #rpg #rp

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rjmbaboonbooks · 6 months

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Daily Comic Journal: January 2, 2022: "Avoid Talking About Death."

I’m not trying to imply that when I talk to my mom that I go through a litiney of people, most notably celebrities, who have died. I just know that my mom was a fan of the TV show “The Golden Girls” and had watched actress Betty White in many other shows (“The Mary Tyler Moore Show”, “Hot In Cleveland”, “Password”, etc…) and since Miss White has continued to appear on air in many places, even at…

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#China Garden #Chinese Food #Death #Dinner #Eating Dinner #My Mom #My Mom&039;s House #Soup

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poisonofchoice · 5 years

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i’m going to get a little caesers $5 pizza and watch naruto

#mary’s password journal

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zebrabaker · 4 years

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Paris Stands Alone; Part 3

Ta da! This has been up on Patreon VIP for a week, so if you want chapters early that's the way to go.

“We’re in!” Zatana cried, throwing her hands up in the air. It had taken Zatana and Constantine working together to breach the magical protections around the Court of Miracles comm lines, and then Oracle taking out the firewall.

“Who is this?” A voice asked. Male, by the sound of it.

“This is Superman of the Justice League; we need to speak to Ladybug.” Clark spoke, arms crossed. There was silence, as if the person was trying to think.

“Did you not see the message? France is shut off. Go away.”

“That isn’t an option.” Flash insisted. “We’ll just hack in again and again.”

“Alright.” The voice sighed. “I’ll see if her Ladyship will speak with you.” There was then silence for several minutes, and then the voice came back. “His Grace wants to set up a video chat. We’ll be ready on our end in five minutes.” More silence, and then a screen flickered from lines of code to a picture of two figures, Ladybug and Cat Sidhe, against the night sky.

“Greetings, members of the Justice League.” Ladybug spoke.

“Hello, Lady- “Superman was cut off by Ladybug speaking again.

“Tell me what you want. You have thirty seconds. Go.” Clark spluttered, before Oracle spoke.

“We want to help. A few junior members were the ones in charge of sorting the incoming messages, and they believed your cries for help were pranks. We wish to offer our deepest apologies, Your Ladyship, Your Grace, and to extend an offer of aid. We can help track down your opponent- “

“Opponent?” Cat Sidhe hissed, ears pinned back against green ombre hair. “This is not a game of chess. Dozens of French men and women die each year because idiot foreigners can’t control themselves. No one comes into France, period!” His tail was lashing violently behind him, and his claws were shining in the moonlight. Ladybug set a hand on his arm, and pulled him a few steps away, before speaking to him in a language none of them could understand. They came back after a moment, though Ladybug kept a hand on her partner’s arm.

“We’ll have a small summit. Both groups will send four emissaries, and they will meet in Germany, right by the border.”

“Very well, we can call to arrange- “

“No.” Ladybug snapped. “We will contact you. Snapping Turtle, cut the call.” The screen went black.

“That went well.” Constantine remarked.

X0X0X

True to Ladybug’s word, the screen crackled to life the next day, this time a single woman appeared on screen, from her torso up. She was young looking, with red hair in a sensible side braid that went off camera, it was so long. She was wearing a high-necked white jacket, covered in black splotches.

“Hello. I am Fidel, wielder of the Miraculous of the dog and Mistress Loyalty of the Court of Miracles. I have sent you a set of coordinates, a date, and a time. Your emissaries must be there at least fifteen minutes early. If you fail to have your emissaries in the correct place at the correct time, we will take it as you canceling your offer of aid, and will bring our emissaries home. Au revior.” The screen went blank, leaving the League stunned. Batman glared at Superman, who looked like he would very much like to be elsewhere.

“You were told to leave the situation to Diana and I.”

“Err, well – “

“We all agreed this needed to be handled delicately.” He growled.

“I – “

“No excuses, Superman. I want a full report on my desk in an hour. Get it done.” The dark night stood and prowled from the room, rage evident.

X0X0X

Fidel hung up, shutting down the shell-top. Snapping Turtle was working on their regular laptop, updating their agent on their progress on a new story. It was a romance-murder-mystery, and Fidel was loving getting to beta read it.

“How’s it going?” A voice called from the door way, and Fidel turned to see Yellow Jacket slumped against the doorframe.

“The meeting is set. Now, we need to report to Ladybug.” Yellow Jacket nodded and offered her girlfriend her arm, and Fidel took it gladly, giggling a little. The two wielders made their way down the halls of headquarters.

Headquarters, for the Court of Miracles, meant a completely secluded underground base in the middle of Paris. It was only accessible through one of Nightmare’s portals, and had only one emergency exit, which was unlocked by pushing a surge of miraculous magic into a specialized lock and reciting a password that changed weekly. It was all made by Nightmare and Snapping Turtle, and had taken months of trial and error to perfect.

As they strolled past the library, full of books on ancient magic, and journals of previous wielders that had been recovered from the site of one of the old temples, Fidel leaned her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder. Fidel had had her miraculous the shortest of all the current wielders, only a year. After her came Teacup, the wielder of the boar, who had had the boar for eighteen months. Teacup had just stopped getting her cycle a few months ago, so Fidel had time if she wished to revoke the miraculous before the changes became permanent. Not that she ever would. She couldn’t imagine life without Barkk.

They arrived at Ladybug’s office after a short elevator ride. Yellow Jacket knocked on the heavy cherry wood door and waited for the call to ‘come in’. Ladybug was working on her encrypted laptop behind her desk, probably checking the program that tracked Akuma sightings.

“Your Ladyship.” They murmured in unison, bowing low.

“Oh, stop that!” She admonished, saving and closing her laptop.

“No can do, Mari-bug.” Yellow Jacket chuckled. “You are our Lady, and we are proud to serve.”

“So long as you don’t do that when I see you at work.” Ladybug sighed. “Close the door and come in, Barkk and Pollen are probably exhausted from holding your transformations for the last few hours.” Ladybug pressed a button and the vents shuttered, so that no one could get in. It may be redundant, but Ladybug was more than a little paranoid. She had every right to be. All three called their detransformation phrase, and a trio of bright lights filled the room. Left behind was a group of young women, known to the world at large as the main designer, CEO, and CFO of Lucky Lady Design House.

“So, Chloe, what brings you and ‘brina to my office?” Marinette asked, grabbing a selection of snacks from her fridge and cupboard. Sausage for Barkk, cookies for Tikki, and croissants for Pollen.

“The summit with the JLA has been arranged. Now, we decide who to send.” Chloe sat, legs crossed, in an armchair Marinette kept for meetings like this.

“Easy!” Sabrina chirped. Chloe raised a brow and gestured for her girlfriend to continue. “We have to send Mari, as Ladybug she needs to be able to control the situation.”

“Fair enough.” Chloe admitted.

“That’s one, what of the other three?” Marinette asked, sipping a water bottle.

“We need to send two guards, so Chloe and Marc. Chloe can subdue any enemy in a single move, and Marc’s shield is impenetrable. Last member is simple, Kagami.”

“Oh? Why the dragon?” Barkk asked.

“She won’t put up with any bullshit from the league.” Sabrina shrugged.

“This is why I gave you a miraculous, you’re the best logical thinker we have.” Marinette smiled, and Sabrina blushed.

“Puh-lease!” Chloe scoffed. “Sabrina could do anything, deciding who to send to a summit with a bunch of fools is nothing for her.” Sabrina just blushed harder.

@krispydefendorpolice

@ficsforthestars

@multifandomscribette

@legendaryneckjudgestudent

@ash-amg-blog

@bee-wrecker

@dawnwave16

@the-supreme-ace-queen

@politelyvicious

@stonestridernerd

@justmdj

@stingrowl

@damianette-is-life

@miraculous786

@mjisntme

@hauntedfreakdeputyhero

@miraculousdisapointment

@lesscoolloki

@bb-basbusa

@isabellemasen

@sassydepression

@imspectralboiii

@spicybelladonna

@moonystars14

@frostymoon11

@worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry

@fandoms-run-my-life

#paris stands alone #psa #mlb salt #my writing

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xmimiteh · 4 years

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The Little Things - X’mimiteh Lhim

Bold - applies Italic - sometimes strikethrough - does not apply at all (character or lorewise)

Do not be surprised, there are some things which really do not belong to Eoreza.

Tagged by: @ivyffxiv - Thanks so much for tagging me! In case you are wondering: Yes, this was a very old one. Sorry for the delay.

Tagging: @nightmaze @geisterfuchs @mischiefandmystics @luli-xiv @moonlifter @fair-fae @utameiday @jancisstuff @bearcattes @avwalya @mirkemenagerie @sagolii-sandcat @strayed-from-the-sun @kitanitayuun @lizard-wanderer @panaceaxiv @chocoboinspectorbalduin @zhauric @yshai-tia, @catnipescapades @kich-rp @kitty-candlestick @amahrigold @handofcards @siyoh-mari @mai-takeda @captainkurosolaire @wondereverlasting @ysandrethedreamer @vylette-elakha @ahumblewoodcarver @wondereverlasting and everyone who wants to do it, but has not been tagged.

#Final Fantasy 14 #FF14 #Miqo'te #X'mimiteh Lhim #tsundere #meme #Thanks for tagging me!

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cluttermind · 4 years

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Without A Parachute (5/?) - Never Alone

Summary: Emma worked tremendously hard to give herself a better chance. From group homes, to living in her car, to ivy league student, this English Major’s only solace was escaping her reality through books. One night, Emma comes home to find a small package with only her name on it written in beautiful calligraphy. The package contains a thick, brown leather journal. Emma soon learns that the fiction she writes in the journal eventually becomes reality. Will Emma learn to control this gift, or will she fall too fast into the temptation to change too much? With the help of her good friends August, Robin, and Elsa, and the mysterious, intriguing bartender of The Jolly Roger, Emma discovers just how easy it is to lose control, and how difficult it is to pick up the pieces.

Rating: M

Words: 17,806 total / 3,675 Ch 5

Read on ao3: Beginning | Current

Note: Thank you all for reading! I really appreciate it! I struggled SO MUCH with this particular chapter, rewrote the ended 4 times and before even writing it I had plotted multiple different ways this one could’ve gone. I hope you enjoy the sweet moments between Emma and Elsa and Emma and Killian!

Chapter 5

“Never Alone”

When the good times go bad

When the tears start to flow

You can ever be glad

You're never alone

And when you're lost out at sea

And the winds chill your bones

You can count on me

You're never alone

- Nathan Angelo, Count On Me

I was in the library. The mutterings in the halls that day were filled with news that Ivies had started to send out decisions. A mix of my classmates had been accepted, rejected, and waitlisted. All I wanted was to get out of this town on her own accord, make her own decisions, and finally have control.

I was at one of the computers, email and password typed in. I couldn’t bring myself to hit enter. I didn’t want to face the likely disappointment that waited for me on the other side of the log-in screen. What Ivy League would want an orphan who had to live in her tiny Bug just to have a consistent transcript? What Ivy League want’s a girl who’s gotten busted for shoplifting more times than she could count because she needed to eat? What Ivy League would want someone like me?

“Emma dear, what’s wrong?” I was startled out of my thoughts when I heard her voice behind me.

“Mary Margret.” I sighed, turning to her. Mary Margret was the one who helped me apply for application fee waivers, fill out my college applications, study for my AP exams and SAT exams. She was the only person who ever really cared about me. “Ivies apparently started to send out decisions.”

She set her hands on my shoulders. “Let’s find out for ourselves, shall we?” I clicked the log in button and held my breath.

Congratulations, Emma Swan! We are pleased to announce that you have been accepted to . . .

Yale.

Columbia.

Harvard.

Cornell.

My eyes were wide. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Mary Margret nearly yelled behind me, releasing her grip on my shoulders only to wrap her arms around me. Tears began falling down my face.

“I got almost a full scholarship to Cornell.” I had to say the words out loud. Otherwise, it would’ve felt too much like a dream.

“I told you, Emma! I’m so proud of you!”

Proud. No one had ever told her they were proud of her.

“I have something for you.” Mary Margret said before scurrying back to the librarian desk. She returned with a small black jewelry box. “I wanted to give it to you for your graduation but I just can't wait!”

I opened the box and inside was a beautiful, dainty 14K gold necklace with a gold book charm. “It’s beautiful. You didn’t have to do this.”

“I wanted to. You’re a very special girl, Emma.”

***

Emma didn’t remember much as she started to come back to herself. Her dream had brought her back to a time where she was happy, a time where she felt loved and safe. The last thing Emma remembered was Killian’s eyes. Her eyes felt heavy as she struggled to open them and her throat felt dry as she struggled to speak.

“Killian?”

Elsa looked up from where she was sitting in a chair next to the bed Emma was in. “It’s Elsa,” she said, gently. “Killian’s just outside with August.”

Emma finally opened her eyes to see her friend. She was wrapped in comfortable sheets and a fluffy comforter. Sitting up in the unfamiliar bed, she looked around the room and didn’t recognize anything. “Where am I?”

“You’re in Killian’s apartment.” The curtains drawn over the doors threw her off. The last time she was in his apartment they were open and the glass doors gave the illusion that the apartment was bigger than it was. Elsa moved to sit on the bed next to Emma. “Do you remember anything that happened last night?”

Elsa had changed. She was in leggings and a sweatshirt. Her roommate had brought her a bag with a change of clothes along with Emma’s bag that was left in their dorm. Emma, however, was still in her dress and jacket from last night. Last night. She had a few drinks, over a few hours, enough that she was tipsy but not enough that she was drunk. Except she was, when she left. And a man . . . Her head was killing her, every inch of her body was in pain. She felt like she had been hit by a truck.

Emma swallowed hard, pulling her jacket tighter around her. “I don’t know.” Elsa handed her the glass of water that was on the nightstand. Emma slowly took a sip and set it down again.

“Emma,” Elsa took a deep breath, her tears pooling in her eyes. “You left the bar, you said you had a headache. You left your phone on the bar though. Killian ran out once he noticed it and tried to catch up to you. He saw some guy holding you and . . . dragging you along with him.” Elsa took a deep breath, trying to be strong for her friend. “God, I heard him scream over the music. He said the guy tossed you to the ground and you hit your head. You passed out and we brought you up here.”

Everything was rushing back to Emma faster than rocks fall during a landslide. She felt like she was being buried under the weight of the fear, the pain, the guilt that consumed her. “I didn’t drink that much,” Emma said, defensively, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Emma. No one is blaming you. None of this is your fault.” Elsa sighed and gently rested her hand on top of her friend’s. Emma couldn’t stand to be touched though. She felt wrong. She felt dirty. She felt like a shell of the person she was before. Because that’s what this created. It was a wall that divided her life, her being, her soul. There was a before. Before she let herself feel free for a night. Before she let herself lose a little control and dress a little sexier and let herself feel happy. Emma realized that she was in the after. After being unable to fight back. After choosing to leave alone. After the damage. Damaged. The word kept popping back up into her head, poisoning the memories that, on any other occasion, would be on constant replay like a new favorite song. Flashbacks of kissing Killian on a make-shift dance floor. Damaged. Flashbacks of his arms wrapped tightly around her. Damaged. Flashbacks of their shameless flirting. Damaged. Flashbacks of the desire she had seen in the deep blue of his eyes. Damaged.

Elsa watched as her best friend battled a war behind her eyes. There was nothing to say in that moment could have made anything better. The light was out in Emma’s eyes. Her green eyes usually shined bright, as if Emma had something to prove in every single thing she did, as if she was always in control, as if she was always simultaneously day dreaming and living a life she had dreamed of. It was a light that was unique to Emma. That day, that light was trapped behind a new darkness.

“You’re okay, Emma. You’re safe now. I promise,” was all Elsa could manage.

“If Killian hadn’t . . .” Emma’s voice trailed off.

“But he did. And you’re safe.”

Emma nodded and her gaze turned to her hands. Elsa sat with her friend for a while in silence before finally speaking again. “Do you want me to get Killian?”

Emma hesitated before shaking her head no. She wasn’t ready for him to see her this broken. All at once she needed more time and needed him with her.

“Do you want me to walk you home?”

Emma shook her head again.

“Do you want to be alone?”

Emma squeezed her eyes shut as tears started to fall. She shook her head no and leaned into Elsa, her head resting on Elsa’s shoulder. Elsa’s arms wrapped around her, rubbing her back soothingly. “Let it out, Emma.” Emma’s entire body shook with sobs. Tears started to escape from Elsa’s eyes as well. She was crying with and for her friend. They were best friends nearly instantly. They danced out their feelings together. They aggressively binged Grey’s Anatomy together (hence the dancing it out). Emma went to protests and rallies just to support Elsa. Elsa was always the first person who read anything Emma wrote. They mocked sexism in literature and praised classical feminist authors together. They ate lunch together as often as possible. When one of them was hurt, the other was hurt.

Killian and August heard Emma crying from the other room. Killian swore he felt his heart break in his chest.

“She’ll be okay,” August noted.

***

Elsa eventually emerged from Killian’s bedroom when the sun was starting to set, closing the door behind her. Killian immediately stood up and turned to her.

“How is she?” He asked. He hadn’t slept at all. His hair was tousled from running his hands through it all night. He, August and Elsa had taken turns sitting with Emma while she was out so that they could each try and get some sleep and so that someone was always with Emma. Robin tried to come when he finally emerged from his rendezvous with Regina but Elsa convinced him they had it handled and that he should enjoy his Sunday. Of course he was incapable of that, though, and unbeknownst to the rest of them, spent the day perusing the internet on his laptop in the pub, waiting for one of them to eventually come down. None of them were able to stomach the thought of eating anything.

Elsa sighed. “She’ll be okay. She probably needs food and a shower, likely some Advil. She shouldn’t go to class tomorrow, she really needs to rest.”

August’s stomach growled. “I think we all need food.”

“Why don’t you guys head downstairs and eat something? It’s on the house. I think Ruby should be managing.” Killian said, pulling his phone out to text Ruby to give them anything they want for free. “I can stay with Emma and make sure she eats something.”

Elsa nodded. “She was asking about you before I left. I think August and I can head out if you think you’re okay here? I put her bag in your room. There should be a change of clothes and shoes, her journal, her laptop, and her macro textbook but don’t let her read it. Tell her to take a break for once.”

“Thank you,” Killian said. “I’ll keep you updated.” Elsa threw her bag over her shoulder and they said goodbye. When the door to his apartment closed, Killian slowly opened the door to his bedroom, poking his head in. “Emma?” He asked, softly, his accent thick with concern. Closing the door behind him, Killian walked to sit at the foot of the bed.

Emma was laying on her side curled up under the covers, her face nearly buried in the pillow. She breathed in the faintly familiar scent of Killian lingering on the pillowcase. “Killian?” She managed when she finally found her voice. The way his name felt on her lips gave her a shimmer of hope that this darkness enveloping her would fade eventually.

Killian let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and rested his hand over her foot. “I’m here, love.” Emma turned to look at him, all the words she wished she could day racing around her mind. Thank you, she thought. Thank you. Don’t leave. I need you. I don’t know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t . . .

His voice pulled her out of her spiral. “Why don’t you take a shower and I’ll find you some fresh clothes to change into,” he suggested.

She nodded, slowly sliding out of the comfort of the covers. Everything hurt when she stood. A hot shower was exactly what she needed. Killian motioned to the door that led to his bathroom.

“There’s a clean towel on the back of the door. Just turn the knob towards you to make the water hotter and use whatever’s in there.”

Emma made her way to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. The feeling of being alone started to sink in as she turned the water on in the shower, allowing it to get hot before she’d step in. She slid her jacket off and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. That’s when she saw it.

Her hair was a mess and her eyes were a little red from crying. On her upper left arm there was a large bruise, wrapping almost entirely around her bicep. Her hand moved to gently brush over it. On contact, Emma winced and remembered. She remembered him grabbing her arm, holding her against him. She remembered how he tightened his grip multiple times. But now, looking in the mirror that was slowly starting to fog, she realized that he had both taken her necklace, the only gift she had ever gotten in her entire life, and branded her. He had marked her and taken a token. He damaged her. Damaged. The realization that he had left his mark on her made Emma sick. She dashed to the toilet, violently throwing up, as if her body was rejecting any remnants of his touch.

Killian was pulling out some pajamas for Emma to change into when he heard her. Emma. Instinctively he ran to the bathroom, throwing the door open without bothering to knock. He kneeled behind her and pulled her hair back and out of her face, holding it with one hand while the other rubbed her back. Before she knew it, Emma was crying again, cheek resting on the cool porcelain of the toilet in front of her. Killian left a comforting kiss on the back of her shoulder. “You’re safe Emma, I’ve got you,” he whispered.

“He hurt me,” Emma choked between sobs. “He marked me.” Saying the words made her vomit again. Killian continued rubbing her back

“What?” While Killian’s voice was soft, he felt rage racing through his entire body. Then he noticed the bruise on her arm. “Oh Emma.” He rested his hand lightly over the mark. He wanted to kill the bastard who did this to her, who hurt her and he wanted to hit himself for letting him get away. “It’ll fade. You’re going to be okay. It’s just a bruise.” Emma froze at Killian’s touch. Warmth ran across her body. The gentleness of his hands was in stark contrast to the grip that bruised her. Emma wanted to bury herself in that touch and never have to feel that pain ever again. That’s what Killian’s touch was to her in that moment - safety, comfort, and a feeling of a promise that he would never hurt her. But how could someone like him ever want someone as broken, as damaged , as she was?

Killian reached forward, flushing the toilet before shifting his position so that he could pull Emma into his lap. He held her close against him, rocking her gently as she cried, stroking her hair. Emma clung to him, her hands fisting the material of his shirt and her face buried in his chest. “H-how could you - everything’s ruined,” she said between sobs.

“Love, what are you talking about?”

“Talk to me. Please.” Killian pleaded when Emma didn’t respond.

“I don’t want you to leave,” she admitted. Emma knew there wasn’t really anything for Killian to leave exactly, but that kiss meant something in the before . She wanted it to mean something in the after too.

He kissed the top of her head and whispered, just loud enough for her to hear over the still-running water from the shower, “I’m not going anywhere. None of this changes anything.”

***

After Emma brushed her teeth and showered, she came out to find clothes that Killian left out for her neatly folded on the bed. He had left her a pair of plaid pajama pants and a soft, worn grey University of Oxford long-sleeve t-shirt. She had to roll the waistband of the pants a few times so she wouldn’t trip on them and the shirt’s sleeves were long enough on her that she could clutch the ends of them in her hands. Comfort washed over her when she was dressed, but a simple change of clothes, even Killian’s clothes, couldn’t erase the trauma replaying over and over again in her head.

So she crawled back into bed, slipping under the covers that she pulled up to her chin trying to hide from both the world and herself. Killian poked his head in moments later carrying two bowls, each with a fork in it. “Hey. I made you dinner, you should try to eat something.” Killian took the chair Elsa had been sitting in next to the bed and handed her a bowl of pasta. Emma sat up and took it, suddenly realizing that she was starving.

“Thank you,” she said, taking a bite.

“It was no trouble, love.”

“No.” Emma looked at him. “I mean thank you. For . . . “ her voice trailed off. Killian understood what she was saying. It was a thank you for everything: for protecting her, for letting her stay here, for taking care of her. For saving her.

“It’s no trouble, love.” They continued to eat in silence. Killian checked his phone a few times, answering texts from Emma’s friends and letting them know that she was okay, that he had gotten her to take a shower and to eat something. When they were finished he brought the bowls back into the kitchen. He needed a shower and a change of clothes desperately. Killian made his way back to the bedroom where Emma had curled into herself, hugging one of his pillows tight to her chest. After grabbing pajamas to change into, he slipped into the bathroom to take a quick shower and brush his teeth. He let the hot water run over him, relaxing his tense muscles for longer than he had planned.

Eventually, he emerged, dressed with damp hair that he pushed off his forehead. Emma hadn’t moved from her position on his bed. Killian walked over to place a gentle kiss on her temple. “Try and get some sleep, love.”

Emma looked up when he started to walk away. “Wait,” she said as he reached for the doorknob. Killian turned to look back at her, a little startled at the sound of her voice. “Please don’t go.”

“Emma -”

“I don’t want to be alone.” She couldn’t be alone with her thoughts conjuring up too many what ifs. When Killian was near, her mind calmed down. The what ifs that ended in the worst possible ways started to become the what ifs any girl with a crush day dreamed about. He was a welcomed respite from her fear, a beacon of light in what felt like endless darkness.

Slipping into bed next to her, he was cautious of the walls he knew she had put up. Killian laid on his side, facing Emma’s back. He rested a hand on her back to let her know he was there. Emma reached around and grabbed his hand, pulling him close to her as she held his arm tightly against her.

“You never have to be alone Emma,” he said. Her hair smelled like his shampoo. All he wanted to do was make her feel warm and safe. If he could take away all her pain he would.

When Killian finally fell asleep and after Emma had failed miserably to fall asleep, she snuck out of bed, grabbed her journal, and slipped out of the bedroom. The wave of emotions washing over her as she ran her hand over the soft, brown leather made her want to give into that darkness and drown in it. She couldn’t handle any of it anymore. Give it to the page, she thought. And so she did.

***

The one who will never be good enough. The one who never got the perfect job. The one who was stood up. The one who messes it all up. It was as if everyone could see clearly through their present dreams to their future realities.

If X is the one who’s rejected, whose career might be on the line, and Y is the one left waiting alone in the restaurant, whose heart breaks with every passing second, and Z is the one who drank too much to remember the night, whose clouded mind hurts the one next to him, then I am the one who’s never going to be good enough for the one next to me, whose damage will will make realize that she should be nothing more than a ship passing in the night soon to be forgotten amongst the rest of his mistakes.

***

Soon, Emma felt like she was able to breathe again. Although when that finally happened, she realized how exhausted she was from everything she had been through. So she crawled back into the bedroom, quietly as to not wake Killian who had rolled onto his back in his sleep. Emma smiled when she saw him, his features soft in sleep, his chest gently rising and falling with his breathing. It was then that Emma knew she was damned to keep falling for him and that there was no safety net to catch her. All either of them needed to do was jump.

Tiptoeing through the room, she slipped back under the covers and curled up against Killian, resting her head on his chest, comforted by the repetitive sound of his heartbeat.

“Hey,” Killian sighed sleepily, wrapping his arms around her to pull her close to him, too tired to open his eyes. “You okay?”

Avoiding the question of whether or not she was okay because, to be perfectly honest, she wasn’t entirely sure, she simply responded with “You’re warm.”

Killian chucked, a soft, sleepy, comforting sound. “Are you cold, love?” Emma didn’t answer verbally. Instead she pressed a cold hand to his neck that he lazily swatted away. “Aye, you’re definitely cold.” He pulled the sheets and comforter up to her shoulders. “Try to get some sleep, Swan.”

It didn’t take Emma long to fall asleep in Killian’s arms. After all the memories and the what ifs that had played over and over in her head all day, Killian must’ve been her dream catcher because for the rest of the night Emma didn’t dream.

#cs ff #cs fanfiction #Without A Parachute #Captain Swan #Killian Jones #Captain Hook #Emma Swan #AU College #AU modern with magic #I promise there will be fluff in the next chapter

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pandawritespoorly · 5 years

Text

With Time: Chapter 5 - 2 Truths, 1 Lie, and Many Puns

Author’s Note: Hot off the presses! I typically have these finished a day or two before I post them to give me ample time to edit them, but I've had a busy last few days. I wanted to get this chapter done though so that I can get to the next one, so I powered through it. This is one of the longer ones (page-wise) though it's got a lot of dialogue (which isn't my strong suit).

Finally got them all posted.

Chapter summary: The Quantic kids and Adrien get to know each other.

First | Previous | Next

There is an awkward silence for a second. Those at the couch were not expecting Marinette’s reappearance and are not about to tell her what they had just been discussing.

Claude, ever the actor, is the first to recover, “We were about to get to know each other! All we know is each other’s names and that we all are friends with you! Do you have any ideas on games for that ‘Nette?”

Marinette pauses, thinking, “Um… I guess… Two truths one lie? Or never have I ever? Are those okay?”

“Ooh! I haven’t played those in a while! Okay, we all know how to do those right? We’ll start with two truths one lie, then we can move on to never have I ever. Does anyone have anything to add or that they’re worried about?” The group glances around at each other Allegra shakes her head slightly, but Adrien cautiously raises his hand.

Marinette notices, “Adrien?”

“I’ve never heard of either of those before. What are the rules? How long do they take?”

There is a shocked silence from the group, but Marinette just sighs,”Right, okay. Um, I can explain them. But, um, do you guys want to head to my room first?” With everyone looking at her now, she panics, backtracking, “Not that we have to! Of course! I just, um-”

“Sure thing, ‘Nette.” Allan offers her a calm smile, and everyone nods, standing to follow her into her room.

Marinette goes first, holding the trapdoor open. Adrien is next, plopping down nearby on her case. As the others entered, she grew anxious, she liked her room, but they probably thought it was dumb, so pink and probably very immature looking, they would hate it, they would hate he-

“Ooooooh! I love your room Marinette!” Claude sounds as excited as ever. He and the others are looking around her room.

“I like it!” Allegra declares. She gestures toward the chaise, “Can I sit here?”

Marinette nods, and Allegra sits on one end of the chaise, Allan sits at the other end, cross-legged.

Felix sits, leaning against the side of the ladder leading to her bed, “It is certainly befitting of you.”

As Marinette sits against the case that Adrien is on she says, “Thanks. I’m glad you guys like it.”

Wheeling her desk chair to move it closer to his friends, Claude says, “Like it? I love it!” As if to emphasize his point, he spins in the chair, throwing his arms in the air.

“So, uh, how do we play these games?”

“We can explain them as we go. We’re starting with two truths and a lie, right?” Marinette pauses, double-checking.

“Yep!” Claude is slowing now, looking faintly dizzy.

“Okay, so, um, it’s pretty straight-forward. We take turns listing three things. Two truths, one lie, and everyone has to try to guess the lie.”

Adrien nods. “Okay, that makes sense. Who’s going first?”

“I can.” Allegra raises her hand slightly, then pauses, thinking, “Um, let’s see… I play the flute, I have 3 siblings and I do calligraphy.

Claude excitedly opens his mouth to answer, but she raises her hand, cutting him off, “Nope, sorry Claude, but I think Adrien should answer first, then Marinette, then the rest of you. We’ve known each other longer and these are pretty simple starter ones. You’ll all know the answers.”

Claude gives an exaggerated ‘harumph’, but turns to Adrien, who is thinking.

“Umm, I think the lie is… the calligraphy?”

Without a word, Allegra turns to Marinette, who is considering all of the statements. She knows the first one is undoubtedly true, as for the second and third… she isn’t as sure. Calligraphy is pretty specific, so that could go either way. Siblings… she knows Claude has three siblings, but Allegra only has two little brothers - at least to her knowledge, so, “Is it the, um, siblings?”

“Yep!” Claude and Allegra say in unison. She turns to him and he shrugs sheepishly, “Sorry ‘llegra. I just got excited.” She rolls her eyes.

“I have only two siblings, little brothers.”

Felix speaks up, “Perhaps to even this out, we should alternate between Adrien and Marinette having turns, and one of the four of us having turns. Otherwise there will be several rounds where many people know the answer.”

“Alright! I can go next.” Adrien thinks, “Okay. I play Ultimate Mecha Strike III, I take fencing, and do fashion design.”

“Fencing.”

��Ulimate Mecha Strike III”

“Fencing?”

“...you don’t do fashion design” Claude is the last to answer, but he seems the most certain of all of them.

Adrien nods, grinning, “Yep! As Mari here will be quick to tell you, I know nothing about designing clothing.”

“He really doesn’t”

If the others thought it odd that the heir to Gabriel Agreste’s company knew nothing about fashion design, they kept it to themselves. After a brief pause, Allan spoke up,”Let’s see… I bake, I have a little sister, and listen to Jagged Stone.”

“Is it the little sister?”

Marinette is pretty certain about Allan’s lie. She knows he has a little sister - she’s seen pictures - and is well aware that Allan is just as big a Jagged fan as Adrien as herself, so that leaves only one option. “I’m pretty sure you don’t bake… right?”

Allan nods, “Mhm. Pretty sure you’re the only baker here, ‘Nette.”

Claude claps his hands together excitedly, “Marinette’s turn!” Everyone turns to her.

“Oh!” Right. It was her turn now. Should she try to stump them? It could be fun to reach out to her more far-fetched interests, and come up with a more complex li- no. She would keep it simple. Her lies didn’t need to be big, only what was necessary. “Um… I knit, I love hamsters, and I’m a terrible runner.”

It’s part of the game. Why do I feel bad about lying to them? It wasn’t like she was lying for the same reasons as Lila did, but the guilt still burned through her, a familiar feeling from all the excuses she made for her alter-ego.

“I think it’s the last one!” Claude is the first to speak, drawing her back.

“I’m with him.” Allan jerks his thumb at Claude, and Felix nods.

“Same here. I mean, have you seen her when she’s running late? She looks like she’s an aspiring olympian!”

Adrien laughs, “It is impressive.”

Marinette nods, and Claude cheers before turning to Felix, “Felix! Your turn!”

“Alright. I do calligraphy, I have a dog, and I enjoy poetry.”

“You don’t have a dog do you?”

Marinette nods in agreement, Felix does not have a dog- to her knowledge.

“Indeed. However, I do have a cat, his name is Pluto.”

“ Felix , that was so easy .” Claude whined, “You gotta’ challenge him! I’ll go next, because I haven’t gone yet, and I shall be challenging!”

Allan raised an eyebrow at him, and Claude concedes, “Okay, not that challenging. Here we go! I am a thespian, I have a golden retriever, and I do origami.”

This was easy - for Marinette at least- Adrien, on the other hand, “Uhh, definitely not the first one… the origami?” He didn’t seem certain.

“Nope! I lamentably lack a pupper pal in my life. It’s tragic .”

Allan and Felix both give him a look. The latter says, “Claude. You do not have space for a dog. Not only that, but your father is allergic.”

“But it’s so ruff without a doggo in my life.”

After the proper groans and eyerolls from most of the group, Claude shouted, “Speed round! Allegra go!”

“What?”

“List three things, quick go! Then Adrien will guess, you’ll correct him if necessary, then we move on in the same order, going as fast as we can! Speed bonding! Go!”

“Alright, fine. Bullet journaling, I used to do gymnastics, and ballet when I was little.”

“Ballet!”

“Nope, gymnastics, your turn.”

“Um, I understand Morse code, I speak chinese, and I play the violin.”

“...Morse code?” Allegra is cautious, Allan nods in agreement, and after a moment so does Felix.

Claude on the other hand, confidently declares,”You don’t play the violin!”

“Yep! I do piano.”

“Okay, so it’s my turn now?” Allan speaks,“Well lets see, I’ve got a goldfish, I cook, and I cosplay.”

“Goldfish?”

“Nah, I don’t cosplay, that’s more Claude’s thing, if any of us.” The boy in question grins.

“Okay, um, my turn now?” Marinette thinks, “I have a fear of wasps, I do embroidery, and I love horror movies.”

She seems to have managed to stump most of them, except for Adrien who, after spending a good amount of time with her over the summer, knows the red herring. Claude seems fairly confident, but again waits for the others, who agree on the wasps being the lie.

“I disagree with my friends here, I believe the lie to be the horror movies!” Claude is once again correct and does a victory spin in his chair at Marinette’s nod.

“So, wasps, huh? Get a scare when you were little or sumthin’?”

Marinette hesitates at Allan’s question. What is she supposed to tell him, that her magical earrings make her feel like the wasps are going to eat her? As if . She feels the guilt bubble up again as she lies, “Yeah, uh, something like that.”

“Felix go! Remember, this is a speed round!”

“Hmm. Okay, I know the meaning of many common flowers, I prefer nonfiction books, and I am an only child.”

“The flowers?” At Adrien’s incorrect response, Felix gives a small smile.

“Actually, I prefer fiction books.”

“Aaaaaand now it’s my turn! Okay! I have two brothers, I am the youngest and I know the passwords of two other people’s phones in this room.”

For whatever reason, Allegra groans at that. Adrien seems to miss that, as he says,”the passwords?”

“Nope! I have two sisters, and one brother.”

The game continues for a few more rounds, Adrien and Marinette can’t help but notice that Claude gets every one right. Finally, Adrien caves,”Claude, how are you so good at this?”

Claude smiles mischievously,”I have become very good at reading people. Facial expressions are a good thing to be familiar with - especially when you can’t speak.” at Adrien’s confused look he adds, “I act, but I also do a lot of miming.”

Eventually, the game ends when Adrien says,“I have never told a bad pun, I can speak Japanese, and I’m a morning person.

“Adrien.” Marinette said flatly, “You’re only supposed to tell one lie.”

“I did.”

“I believe him Mari. There is no such thing as a bad pun!”

Marinette shakes her head, “That’s where you’re wrong.”

“We’ll just have to prove it to her then! Guys, I’m putting the game on hold, Adrien and I must do a pun-off! Dad jokes are acceptable as well.”

“I like the sound of that!”

Other than Adrien and Claude, only Allan seems to be enjoying this. The other three are rolling their eyes and groaning in preparation for what’s about to happen.

“The new clock was the tock of the town.”

“What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh!”

“Lumber companies have many board meetings!”

“Shepards are sheepish people who don’t like staff meetings!”

“What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows!”

“Hey, do you know why a nose can’t be 12 inches long

“No, I do not. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?”

“Because then it would be a foot!”

“Of course! Hey, I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner - it was just gathering dust.”

“What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.”

“What do you call a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!”

“The first carpenter to sail around the world took his screw with him.”

“A comedian stopped at a fabric store on his way to a gig - he was looking for new material!”

“If I had a nickel for every bread pun, I'd have a pun per nickel.”

“Some puns are so corny they hurt your ear.”

“Seven days without a pun makes one weak.”

“Wanna’ hear a joke about paper? Nevermind - it’s tearable.”

Claude holds up a broken pencil from Marinette’s desk, “Hey, Adrien, want to borrow a pencil?” He glances at it,”Nevermind, it’s pointless.”

This is the last straw. Marinette starts laughing, at first she tries to cover it up, but is unsuccessful - her glee overtaking her. Adrien looks over to her in surprise, then his face softens and he laughs with her.

Allegra smiles,”Felix, I think we’re the only ones here with a normal sense of humor.”

“Indeed”

Claude looks delighted, in between his own laughter he throws his arms in the air and proclaims, “I have won the pun-off!”

Marinette’s laughter eventually dies down, but a trace of a smile remains on her face as she asks, “Okay, what’s next? Do we want to continue ‘Two Truths One Lie’, or do we want to move on to ‘Never Have I Ever’? Or, um, if you guys wanted to do something else…?”

“‘Never Have I Ever’ works for me!”

“Alright.” Marinette turns to Adrien, “So, um, there’s a few ways to play this one? It can vary depending on who you ask? But I don’t know what rules you guys play by…?”

“I do not recall when I last played this game, however, considering our purpose is to get to know each other, we could simply move in a circle and list things we have never done before.”

“And then! If you have done it we can hear your cool story!” Claude excitedly adds onto Felix’s suggestion. “I’ll start! Never have I ever… been outside of France.”

“Really?”

“Yep! Never left!”

“Well it looks like you’re the only one Claude…” Allegra comments, “I’ve been to England.”

“As have I.” Felix adds.

“I’ve got family in Canada.” Allan looks to Adrien and Marinette, “What about you two?”

“Uh, I’ve been to China a few times? For, um, family.”

“I’ve had photoshoots and fashion shows in other countries before, but Father has me there for work, so I never really get a chance to look around or explore.” he shrugs, “But I can typically see some landmarks, so it’s not all bad.”

“That sucks dude,” Allan looks at Adrien sympathetically, “Your Pops should really lighten up on ya’.” It’s such a Nino thing to say, Adrien and Marinette share a look that the others can’t quite decipher.

“Allegra, your turn!” Claude startles them out of their thoughts.

“Why me?”

“Because you were first in the last game, and we should probably follow the same order.” he shrugs.

“Right. Me then. Okay, never have I ever… had a cat.”

Marinette and Claude raise their hands in agreement. He pouts dramatically though, mumbling something about allergies. Adrien looks down at his overshirt in an annoyed manner, and Marinette hears something that sounds like ‘lag’.

“Uh, we live in a bakery, so pets are kind of a no go…”

“Obviously I have Pluto.” Felix hold up his phone, displaying an all black cat with green eyes.

“We had one when I was little.” Allan says, “I’ve only got some blurry memories.”

“Uhh, same here! It wasn’t very well behaved though… it also got into our cheese a lot .” Adrien says the last part as though directing it at someone in particular, the others were confused, as was Marinette. She wondered if Adrien was still mad at the cat about the whole cheese-stealing thing. In the time the two had really known each other, Adrien always seemed to have Camembert on him. Maybe it was a habit he formed to protect it from the cat. Strange, but whatever, she wouldn’t judge.

“Uh, anyways! Is it my turn?” At the others’ confirmations Adrien nodded, thinking, “Okay, so never have I ever been to an amusement park.”

“Really?!” Claude seems horrified, “Even our resident grump has been to an amusement park!” Felix rolls his eyes at the moniker.

“I take it I’m the only one then?”

“I’ve been to one, though not for a while because of-” Marinette cuts herself off, because again, she can’t just say ‘because I’m Ladybug’, adding a (hopefully) nonchalant shrug she continues, “it’s just been a while.”

The others are seemingly too distracted to question her slip-up, Allan questions Adrien first,”So why not? Ya’ not like heights or sumthin’?”

“Father says that I must maintain ‘a prestigious image’ at all times, and that amusement parks and their attractions ‘do not allow for me to adhere to such a standard’.”

“I don’t think I like your father…” Allegra has the same face she did when she saw Marinette’s bruise, and Marinette still hasn’t figured out what it means, having only seen it twice now. Is it bad? It looks bad, it probably means Marinette messed up, though she isn’t sure how she managed it this time around.

“It’s fine, I’m pretty used to it anyways-” he is cut off by Allan.

“That really doesn’t make it any better…”

Adrien laughs dryly,”You sound like Ni-” he cuts off abruptly, glancing at Marinette who has stiffened almost imperceptibly, he puts an arm on her shoulder gently, trying to draw her back. “-one of my other friends.” He says the last word like he isn’t sure of it.

The whole interaction was short, honestly rather quick, but certainly didn’t go unnoticed by the other four. They cataloged it in the back of their minds, they may discuss this later. They tried to keep track of things that seemed to upset Marinette. While they may not know quite what happened, they still didn’t want to upset her and did their best to avoid things they thought might… remind her of whatever it was.

The game moved on and they made it through several rounds before Claude says,”Never have I ever met Ladybug!”

Adrien immediately lights up, “I have! She’s so cool!” No one notices Marinette’s light blush at this. She’s heard Adrien rave about her alter-ego before, but compliments will always fluster her.

“So have I, or at least I’ve seen ‘er in person.” Allan’s comment surprises Marinette. “Happened to be around near the end of an attack.”

When did that happen? Did she honestly miss one of her few fri- one of the few people she knew at an akuma attack? She was supposed to protect them, not miss them! What kind of a hero was she?

“Lucky! I’ve never seen her except on the news and stuff.” Allegra interjects, and Felix nods in agreement.

“Same here.” Marinette shakes herself out her self-critiquing. At her comment Adrien looks confused.

“Yeah you have!” Now Marinette is confused… what? He continues,”Remember when A- Timebreaker? When there were two Ladybugs and two akumas?”

Oh. Huh, she’d forgotten that Marinette and Ladybug had both been spotted together before. Thank you Adrien for that, it could be handy for protecting her identity in the future.

“Oh… yeah, I forgot about that.”

“How do you forget meeting Ladybug? ” Claude seems appalled.

“Well, we didn’t really meet. Also, um, I like Chat Noir better.” It was only natural, he was the better hero after all. Paris only favored Ladybug for her ability to clean up the damage.

Adrien’s face lit up even more, but he didn’t add anything.

Claude nodded, satisfied, “True, he’s pretty cool.”

The group continued to discuss (or gush in some cases) the two main heroes. Suddenly, Adrien’s phone beeped, and after glancing at it, he sighed. Marinette knew that face.

“Sorry guys, I have to go. Father is having me practice extra piano for a musical competition that’s in April.”

Allegra frowned at this, her face seeming to begin to stray towards that expression, though her voice betrays nothing as she asks, “Concours d'arts musicaux?”

“That’s the one.”

“I hope to participate too. I wish you the best of luck.”

“You too!” Adrien leaves and everyone settles back into their spots.

“So what should we do now?” Claude is spinning in the chair again.

“Homework.” Felix and Allan speak in unison, and Claude groans dramatically, but nevertheless plops down on the floor to begin work. After an hour or two, Felix glances at his watch.

“It may be best if we head to our own homes now. It is rather late and we would not want to intrude.”

Allan frowned, “It’s not that la-” he glanced at the time,”Nevermind, we should be going.”

Marinette nods and helps them pack up their stuff. As they head outside, her parents stop them.

“Oh, Marinette, are your friends going home?” her Maman asks as she finishes ringing up a customer. At her daughter’s nod, the woman says, “Wait one moment dears.” She heads into the back.

She emerges with four bags presumably filled with various pastries. “For you.” She distributes the bags to Marinette’s new friends, “ Thank you.”

“Ma’am, this isn’t necessary, at least allow us to pay.” Allegra is the first to recover from the surprise, but Sabine isn’t having any of it.

“No payment is necessary. Especially for you four, and any friends of our daughter.”

“... Uh, well thank you.” Claude and the rest give various thanks to the woman, who shakes her head again.

“No. Thank you. ” She turns and goes back to tending to customers. Marinette walks the rest of them out, and they say their final goodbyes as they head in their respective directions.

Marinette headed back to her room and lays down on her bed. She and Tikki talk for a little bit, but Marinette is exhausted mentally - today was quite the day - and she wants a moment to just think. After about 10 minutes she’s about to get up when her phone goes off. Glancing at it she sighs.

Akuma Alert:

Type 1

Eiffel Tower

More information and updates available.

“Tikki, spots on!”

---

Author’s Note: For anyone that's wondering, "Concours d'arts musicaux" is French for "Competition of Musical Arts" (according to Google Traslate, I don't know French).Some of the puns probably make more sense for an American setting, forgive me.Next chapter we've got our first akuma attack - at least the first one that we actually see. It's pretty clear how Marinette has been dealing with (and how she was affected by) the whole incident, but how is Ladybug doing? That should be the focus of the next chapter (hopefully).

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#miraculous ladybug #transfer #with time #fanfic #chameleon #salt #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #quantic kids #ml felix #puns

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umamunandar · 4 years

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Review #4: The Illuminae Files (4.8/5)

So by this point, you should be familiar to my taste in movies and books. I mean with the lack of romance and teen fiction you see and the excessive amount of fantasy and sci-fi reviews I’ve written, you might realise that I have a thing for dystopian, sci-fi, and apocalyptic stuff.

If you’re also a dystopian geek like me, then you must have heard of Illuminae, the novel written by Amie Faufman and Jay Kristoff, which then got illustrated by Marie Lu, author of Warcross and Legend for the second book, Gemina. You might’ve heard of it’s great story, or maybe, like me, you were first introduced to its unique writing format

and i mean very unique format. (Every part I just showed belongs completely to Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff, of course I’m just out here throwing these pages to you so you know what I’m talking about)

Most books get very famous quickly because the themes they offer in the books, how great the storyline is. Some are popular only because the author that wrote it has a reputation for writing super famous and the readers just want to read more of their works.

But a book famous for its writing format is unheard of for me. Illuminae was the first what, novel (?) that succeeded in telling the readers a story about the destruction of a colony, and a galactic adventure just from files they retrieved from the computers used by the characters for data processing, storage, communication, and everything else you can do with a computer by the year 2575.

The year is 2575, and two rival mega-corporations are at war over a planet that’s a little more than an ice-covered speck. Now, with enemy fire raining down on them, exes Kady and Ezra—who are barely even talking to each other—are forced to escape on the evacuating fleet.

But their problems are just the beginning. The fleet’s AI has gone crazy, a deadly plague has broken out on one of the ships, and nobody in charge will say what’s really going on.

As Kady hacks into a tangled web of data to find the truth, it’s clear only one person can help her: the ex boyfriend she swore she’d never speak to again.

First, let me start with a short recap of my own.

29th of January, 2575, Kady Grant had broken up with her boyfriend, Ezra Mason. But later that day, her planet’s mining company’s rival company decided that it was a great day to attack the planet (Kerenza IV) and its inhabitants. Kady and Ezra managed to escape to two of the three ships used to transport and evacuate the Kerenza refugees. Ezra was taken to the Alexander, as he was badly injured, and Kady was taken to the Hypatia, a science vessel that happened to be orbiting Kerenza during the attack. The last ship was the Copernicus.

Everyone on board were tested to see their potential, since the fleet were understaffed. Ezra passed as a pilot, and Kady, bless her genius mind, decided that it was best to not show he full potential during the test. Not receiving the role of anything, she befriended a CommTech from the Hypatia, and became a hacker, determined to just find out what’s going on. Nobody who knew the truth would tell anyone the truth and Kady was only eager to find out.

The story was told by emails, chat boxes, documents, security camera footage, even information from the Alexander’s AI, which was pretty much messed up due to the attack at Kerenza, but was still functioning enough to tell a story, nevertheless. The second book got an illustrator, Marie Lu, the same person who wrote Warcross and Legend, and the content source didn’t just come from computers anymore. By Gemina, the information that led readers through the story was also gained from Hanna Donnelly—the story’s female lead’s personal journal, hand drawn, not soft copy from a computer.

Personally, Illuminae was the first story that brought me to loving sci-fi slash dystopian slash apocalyptic novels. I was always a fantasy geek, thanks to Harry Potter and Wildwood. Kingdoms, princesses in pretty dresses, or magic, they were always closer to me than spaceships, AI, and intergalactic war, but Illuminae completely changed my mind. I was even surprised when I found myself buying a handful of dystopian novels during a book fair the other day. They were just really fun to read.

Oh but you know what else is fun? Guessing which cuss word the characters in the books used. Sure, the story was told through files, which means some were formal documents like reports and formal emails, but remember that there are also chat boxes and the informal emails sent from one refugee to the other as a form of communication to ask how they were doing and whatnot. Cussing and slang were used constantly in the book, but because they were compiled and as I quote, ‘sent’ as a formal file, the cursing had to be censored and blocked. It was still fun to guess the words they used anyway.

Writing this review, I had already read Gemina, and Obsidio was being shipped to my house, so yes, I really love this trilogy.

I’d love to get into more depth about the two books, but since nearly every page is filled with action, I can’t really write a spoiler-free review with it so let’s get to the positive points and negative points of the book,

Pros:

The book, as we all know and as I have mentioned for the fifth time now is formatted like emails, chat boxes, documents, and literally every other thing you can extract from a computer by the year 2575. Despite all three books being thicker than 500 pages, some of the pages aren’t even full pages, and you can read them in under one minute, even for a slow reader. Some examples:

Countdown pages

Those pages when something dramatic happens, like the description of missiles travelling through the space between two ships

In Gemina (and possibly Obsidio), some pages from Hanna Donnelly’s personal journal were incorporated in the files, the second Illuminae Files. But unlike Kady who prefers writing (or typing) her thoughts and securing them with a handful of layers of security and passwords, Hanna draws hers, and they didn’t take that long to read either.

‘The pattern is always the same’

‘White light’

And everything else

I know Illuminae was my first ever sci-fi dystopian novel, but I’ve consulted a few people on the matter, and I found out that the story the series offered is a good one on its own, even without the dramatic effect. So yes, one of the pros is that it actually offers a good story. You never know what’s going to happen next. It’s like say, you just got over a dramatic point in one of the books, and suddenly the document in the next page is a bloody medical report that tells you something is up.

Another plus point would be how the events in the books are so well described, despite there being no actual description done in the books except for those surveillance camera transcripts. We don’t even know Kady and Ezra’s specific physical appearances, just the fact that Kady has pink hair and Ezra is a pretty much a teen fiction novel average golden boy, unlike Hanna and Nik who’s illustrations we see from again, Hanna’s journal in Gemina.

Cons:

We should all put this fact in consideration, that the book is not meant to tell a story from a formal standpoint. Like I said, cussing is used in nearly every page of the book, though it’s censored. Mildly explicit jokes and references were also used in the book, though no actual harm is done. Then again, I’m not against this or anything, in fact, it brings an essence to the story, but some people (*cough* boomers*cough*) might not be comfortable with it.

Personally, I’m not fond of thick books. Four hundred pages is a workload for me. I was suffering throughout the Order of the Phoenix. Don’t like thick books? Illuminae isn’t for you. All three books had like, five hundred or so pages. I know I said it was told through a less boring format for a novel, and the story is good, but you still have to read. It’s a relief I made it through both Illuminae and Gemina, there’s a possibility I might drop Obsidio and leave it to rot before reaching the three-hundredth page. Though, there is a solution to this. You can buy the audiobook instead. I heard they did a good job with it, with great casts too.

Aaand, I think that’s about it. There’s really not much I can say about the story without giving away spoilers, and since I’m dedicated to make this a spoiler-free blog, I think it’s best you buy the book if you’re interested in the story of Kady, Ezra, Hanna, Nik, and two more characters I’m not supposed to tell you about because it’s technically a spoiler (?) from Obsidio.

I’m open for any discussion too! Just, don’t tell me anything about Obsidio just yet, I’m expecting the copy this week.

#illuminae #gemina #obsidio #the illuminae files #kady grant #ezra mason #hanna donnelly #nik malikov #book review #spoiler free book review #books #reads

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xprojectrpg · 1 year

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This Day In X-Project - December 9

PHASE 2

2016: Jubilee makes a journal entry about watching Unbreakable.

2017: Bobbi makes a journal entry pondering what Warren’s Christmas actions mean with respect to her.

2020:

2021: Maya posts happily about snow. Terry announces warm drinks are in the kitchen.

#xproject #this day in xproject #xprpg

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bouchtayahyaoui · 4 years

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20 Things to try to do During The Coronavirus Lockdown

So, you’re stuck inside just like the kids from “The Cat within the Hat” and going a touch stir crazy during the worldwide coronavirus lockdown. the great news is there's tons of stuff you'll do while waiting out this current crisis. Here’s an inventory of 20 belongings you can do this will make your life better during a lockdown.

1)Read a book (or an entire series):

Now’s the time to filter out your “To Be Read” list, or maybe to read those books everyone’s been raving about. the great news is that there are tons of great

deals on books and e-books immediately, even newly released ones. And don’t forget you'll also still inspect e-books from your local library’s website.

2)Write that book you’ve been adjourning:

On the opposite hand, if you've got an excellent book inside you waiting to urge out, now’s the time to start writing. If you don’t have a book inside you, maybe you've got some poetry. otherwise, you can keep a journal of what life is like immediately, for future generations. Don’t laugh; history likes to be recorded.

3)Take a web fitness class:

Take a web fitness class. Just because you’re staying home, that doesn’t mean you've got to offer up your workout. Free online fitness videos are everywhere YouTube, otherwise, you can do an inquiry for groups on Facebook or Instagram. regardless of what you’re doing, whether it’s aerobics or running or yoga, there’s a video for you out there.

4)Learn the way to knit (or crochet or cross stitch):

If you’ve been hesitating to find out the way to knit, now’s the time. There are many YouTube videos for beginning crafters. If you don’t have the supplies, get them organized online from a craft or fabric store. Not only that, but there are virtual craft meets happening. Or found out a gaggle together with your friends so you'll all virtual craft together.

5)Learn the way to cook:

Learn how to cook. You may already skill to form some things, but now’s the time to show yourself some gourmet recipes. or even you'll escape the family recipe book and begin making some food. simply because you’re stuck indoors it doesn’t mean you've got to eat boring food.

6)Make bread from scratch:

While you’re within the kitchen, why not make your sourdough starter and learn to form your bread? Not only does one learn a replacement skill, but it’s the newest thing — people are sharing their yeast starters online like they might share pictures of their pets. And when this is often over, you’ll have a replacement kitchen trick to point out off!

7)Teach yourself a language:

Teach yourself a language. Now quite ever it’s easy to find out a second (or third) language. There are many free apps and sites to settle on from, and you'll learn a replacement language in only a couple of minutes each day. Duolingo is one of the more popular apps. you'll learn everything from French and Spanish to Mandarin and Arabic. you'll even learn to talk Klingon!

8)Be your handyman:

Unless it’s an emergency, you’re not getting to get a handyman to repair something during the quarantine. So now’s the time to require out the hammer and drill and make some minor fixes to your home. If you’re in an apartment and can’t put holes within the walls, you'll fix other things too. Is your table wobbly? Get that sorted out now, you’ll be glad you probably did.

9)Do your spring cleaning:

Do your spring cleaning. Does nothing need fixing? Then it’s time for a few spring cleaning! You were getting to need to roll in the hay anyway, so why not get that going? You’ve been wiping down everything with disinfectant for weeks, but now’s the time to try to do a radical job on the kitchen and toilet. And there’s probably more dust than usual since you’ve been home all day, so it’s time to wash that too.

10)Organize all the items:

Now that you’re all shiny and clean, it’s time to map out your stuff. If you haven’t seen the Marie Kondo videos on the way to organize your space, you ought to go watch them. Then start arranging your environment so that, above all, it causes you to happy to be in it. Because you’re getting to be in it for a short time longer.

11)Binge an entire TV series:

Binge an entire TV series. Many streaming services are offering limited free programming or reduced rates immediately, so find a channel you wish and begin watching. Make your viewing time special with popcorn and comfy blankets. It’s time to catch abreast of whatever series your friends are talking about. Or catch a replacement movie that’s being released on to digital rather than being delayed within the theater. It’s up to you!

12)Finish a puzzle:

It’s the right time to require that figure out and put it together — you recognize, the one you said you’d do once you found the time? Well, you found it. Put the puzzle up where anyone within the house can work thereon, and slowly but surely you’ll find yourself with a finished project. It’s an excellent stress reducer and allows you to specialize in something aside from a screen.

13)Clean up your computer/phone files:

Clean up your computer/phone files. Speaking of screens, now’s an excellent time to require care of your computer or mobile. Delete all the apps you don’t use anymore. Empty your virtual trash and take away programs you not use. filter out your inbox. Reorganize the icons on your desktop. Update your passwords. You’ll be glad you probably did.

14)Have a home spa day:

Let’s face it, it’s a stressful time immediately. So there’s no better time to pamper yourself or treat yourself for doing so well. Take an extended hot bath and hear the music you enjoy. Make some aromatic tea and relax. Snooze during a chair together with your pet. permit yourself to require care of yourself. you would like it, and more importantly, you deserve it.

15)Go on a virtual museum tour:

Go on a virtual museum tour. Believe it or not, tons of museums offer virtual tours of their collections online. you'll see everything from the Getty collection to the Winchester Mystery House. Give yourself a fast trip around the world. Visit an area you’d like to go to or revisit a favorite site. Put your brain on a virtual road trip.

16)Let the sunshine in:

This seems obvious but, believe it. Some places are under strict curfew. Some people sleep in apartments with no balcony. confirm you open your blinds and curtains within the morning and let some sun within the house. Open the window and obtain some fresh air, too. Both are essential to healthy living, so don’t deprive yourself of their benefits.

17)Clean out your closet:

Clean out your closet. So you cleaned your house and arranged it, but what about your closet? undergo the entire thing and check out on all the garments. Have yourself a fashion show. Keep the items that you simply like and wear. Get obviate the items that just don’t cut it. Either box it away for later donation to a charity or reserve it for the most important yard sale ever once this lockdown is over.

18)Work on your garden:

Now that spring has sprung, you’d need to leave anyway. If you've got a yard or garden, let yourself play within the dirt for awhile. Pull up some weeds or reduce a hedge. If your garden exists solely indoors, you'll take touch overtime and pamper your plants. Studies show that plants react to people, so allow them to skills much you're keen on them.

19)Wash your car:

Wash your car. Nothing’s better on a bright sunny day than going outside and washing the car. It sounds boring and tedious but really, a bucket and a few soaps bring great therapy. It costs you nothing but a while but gives you such a lot more back. If you’re cooped up with kids, even better: make it a gaggle therapy session!

20)Check-in on others virtually:

Facetime and Skype are vital lifelines immediately. confirm you sign up together with your friends and loved ones, albeit just for a couple of minutes. Stay connected, and if you would like to speak, don’t be afraid to. And if they have to speak, listen. you'll be each other’s support.

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maryolivrs · 5 years

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was @autumnalstudent

Hi everyone! So here’s the thing, my computer with all my passwords crashed and I lost them all, including the password to my last studyblr :( I put off making this post for a long time because I had hoped I’d get it fixed, or the (google generated) password would somehow come to me in a dream.

But! This just means I can start fresh and reintroduce myself to the community!

Here’s some facts about me:

- My name is Ellie, and I’m 19

- Autumn is my favorite time of the entire year, even if Tennessee doesn’t really have a long one.

- I’m an English major, previously premed but decided to follow my heart!

- Mary Shelley is my favorite author (both writing-wise and just in her general life story)

- I drink tea and coffee VERY religiously.

So that’s it. Spread the word so I can maybe get my old friends/mutuals back, if you want (no pressure!). I’m also looking for new mutuals, so....

Reblog if you’re:

- a studyblr

- a langblr

- you post about bullet journals/art/etc

#study #studyblr #studying #langblr #bujo #original post

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rachelthompsonauthor · 5 years

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Writing fears suck, don’t they? If you’re a writer, you have them, no matter where you are in your career. Yet writing fears are especially ominous when you’re first starting out. The endless loop of:

What if I’m not good enough?

What if people hate my book?

What if someone gets hurt by my book?

What if people write horrible reviews?

What if what I think is good is just crap?

and on it goes.

I can fully relate. I didn’t start my writing career until my forties (I’m 55 now) for many of those same reasons. I also didn’t know how to start – what’s the proper, right way to start? To publish? To market? It’s overwhelming for someone just starting out, especially if that someone is super process-oriented like me.

Are These Fears Valid?

Of course, they are. All feelings are valid, even if they aren’t always logical (like toddlers in the sandbox, thinking and feeling don’t always get along or agree). For more on this, here’s an article you might find helpful from Scribed Media: 6 Writing Fears and How to Beat Them.

I work with many writers (as both a survivor and advocate, as well as in my BadRedhead Media business) who don’t give themselves permission to write because of these fears. Here’s what helped me – and it’s so simple it’s almost stupid. A quote. One quote. I’m almost embarrassed to share how enormous an effect that one little quote had on me; how it freed me from my mental fear prison, yet it did.

From Lorrie Moore, author and professor, via a widely quoted interview in Elle Magazine

“Compared with her students, who are often still deeply involved with their parents, Moore says she had a more formal, old-fashioned relationship with hers—which helped her make the “romantic and bloody-minded” decision to commit wholly to her art when she started writing seriously in college. (“The only really good piece of advice I have for my students is, `Write something you’d never show your mother or father.‘ And you know what they say?” she says, wide-eyed with disbelief.” `I could never do that!'”).

That’s it. I wasn’t even a college student – I was a full-grown adult with my own kids. There I sat with a pen and paper (okay, computer laptop) on my desk, journals at the side, ready to write about uncomfortable truths. Sexual topics. Surviving sexual abuse, sexual interactions with past lovers, relationships, PTSD, triggers, and other ‘things’ you don’t typically talk to your own parents about.

And I thought: Geez, Rach. You’re forty-fucking years old. Stop thinking about what other people will think (Nonfiction Writing 101: You cannot know what someone else thinks – only what you think). So, I went for it.

You’re an adult. Write like one.

And with that, I started to write my first memoir/poetry book, Broken Pieces.

Drawer Of Fears

Take a piece of paper (I suggest a page in your journal or in your online notepad). Write down your list of writing fears. Write down everything you’re afraid of, whether it’s based in reality or sounds like something full of magical fairy dust. Whatever it is, write it down. Pages and pages, or three little bullet points. Whatever.

Okay? When you’re done, come on back. Oh, be sure to print out what we’ll call your Page Of Fears.

***

Good, you’re back. Now take that piece of paper with all your fears and put it away in your Drawer of Fears. Make sure that drawer has a lock (or needs a password). Physically give them a kiss, and tell them goodbye.

Don’t worry! They’ll still be there. You can visit them anytime you want to. However, for now, I want you to know that you have cleared them from your mind and body. Kinda like burning sage but without the burning. Or the sage.

Writers cannot write around clutter. It’s a known fact.

Let Go Of Your Perfection Fears

Your first draft is where you start. Your first draft of whatever it is that you want to write. You may not even know and that’s okay.

This stumped me at first. And when I say stumped, I mean I did not move from the doing anything about with my writing stage for years. Where do I start? How do I structure my writing? Don’t professional writers have official outlines and plots and characters with histories and plots all devised, etc? Well, sure, some do. However, some don’t. Plotters vs. Pantsers, etc.

This entire thought process alone sent me into Analysis Paralysis. What’s the right way?

As a creative nonfiction writer, I didn’t know how I wanted to format my writing. I did kinda sorta know my thematic structure (which, by the way, completely changed after my first developmental edit) – I also knew I planned to work with a structural (aka, developmental) editor, so I took that fear (see point number two) of how to make it “perfect” in the end, put that in my Drawer of Fear, and wrote what I refer to as my word vomit.

Just Start Writing

Nobody will see what you are writing unless you want them to. I repeat: nobody will see what you’re writing unless you want them to. It could take you a month, a year, or several years before you reach the point where your writing is in publishable condition.

Your ‘shitty first draft’ needs to be free-flowing, non-self-edited crapadoodle. You hear me, you little perfectionistic drones? Give yourself permission to purge your words.

It doesn’t have to be good. It doesn’t have to make any sense which, honestly, is why journaling is so great. It’s a wonderful mental purge and can be a great stepping-off point to your writing. (Need help getting started? Visit the fabulous Leigh Shulman. She’s got a free plan for you.)

Your first draft is not even your dress-rehearsal. It’s more like…practice. It’s just a draft. It could take 30 or 50 or 100 or 300 drafts before it becomes a book.

Then you keep at it. Writing isn’t a walk in the park. It’s work. It’s a job. It’s a career if you decide to make it one and you’re good at it. And you work hard to become a better writer. Whether you believe in the 10,000 hours concept or the old ‘How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice,’ joke – either way, the only way to become a better writer is to learn how to become a better writer.

How did I get better? Even though I took a number of classes growing up (in high school and college), I didn’t feel that prepared me for how I wanted to write now. So, I read a ton of creative nonfiction books (some of my favorites are below) in the style that appealed to me. I took online classes that helped me improve my writing. I went to readings by writers I admired (most are free or cost the price of the book).

I continued journaling (as I had been since I was a kid). And I continued writing – all kinds of stuff – articles, short stories, poetry, ideas for articles, short stories, and poems. And I began blogging (in 2008). Blogging absolutely makes you a better writer and I’ll fight anybody who says otherwise. Rawr.

Investing in myself helped me get over my fears. To face my fears. To crush my fears.

Don’t Forget About Your Fears Completely

Everything I mentioned above took time. Just about every writer I’ve ever met wants their first book to be a massive bestseller right away, pay off all their bills with the royalties, sit on Oprah’s couch because of it, and have everyone reading it on the train a la Fifty Shades.

That’s all great. How are you going to make that happen?

Have realistic expectations. Have a plan. Write the most fantastic, professional book you can. Figure out what you don’t know about not only writing but also marketing and publishing, and then learn.

Above anything else, deal with your fears. They’ll still be in that drawer, waiting for you. Just like trauma, your fears don’t magically disappear because you’ve set them aside. They’ll pop up like that whack-a-mole game, except now you’ll have experience and time to hit them back with.

And yet…I don’t recommend hitting your fears back like an enemy. Change that paradigm. Make friends with them. How can your fears help you? What is it about a specific fear that’s got you so wound up?

Sometimes, it’s what we fear most that motivates us.

Just as I discuss how I made friends with Shame in my fourth book, Broken Places, do the same with your Page of Fears. Make your fear work for you so you can become the writer you want to be. You’ve lived through so much, writer friends! You can absolutely write about it.

I know you have it in you.

Here is a list of my personal favorite creative nonfiction books (disclosure: affiliate links provided).* I also recommend reading short stories by Raymond Carver. He’s a master storyteller.

*Note: These are not books about writing creative nonfiction. That’s a future post.

Calypso by David Sedaris

Night by Elie Wiesel

First, We Make The Beast Beautiful: A New Journey Through Anxiety by Sarah Wilson

Cathedral by Raymond Carver

The Liar’s Club by Mary Karr

The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls

The post How To Crush Your Writing Fears Right Now appeared first on Rachel Thompson.

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