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misscammiedawn · 4 months

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Dissociative Identity Disorder in Mr. Robot

So I have been writing little essays about Mr. Robot recently.

Dom's Sexuality, Gay Marriage and Whiterose

Back to the Future and Brainwashing

Today I wish to talk about the DID representation in Mr. Robot.

Actually I want to talk about the DID representation in the Hulk comics but there are 40 years worth of storylines involving it and it would require me to write about clinical understandings from the 1980s when it was called MPD (admitedly Mr. Robot's stumbles at the finish line with some of these same outdated treatment models) and that would take a while. Suffice to say it will happen eventually*. I shall make a new tag "Media Myself and I" and post it under that when I have more time to do it justice. Maybe I'll do others. I am uncertain. I believe I want to focus on positive depictions where there are no murder alters. The goal is to get people to want to enjoy things, not to steer them away. I have a few shows and games in mind at the very least.

Regardless… Mr. Robot is an easier topic to cover and is my hyperfocus of the moment.

So Mr. Robot is a show about isolation in the modern world. It's a show about socioeconomic stress, late-stage capitalism and what it means to enact meaningful change on a broken world.

But above all it is about the healing journey of Elliot Alderson, a man with dissociative identity disorder.

I say that at the start because Elliot's condition is never named until the final episode. In many ways a realistic depiction of a real world disorder was an afterthought noted in the final hour of the journey as a means of justifying the split personality trope and hiding a final twist. In spite of that the roadmap for the show was always leading to this destination and along the way they managed to get some fairly good representation out of the mix.

Season 2 even involves the only time I have ever seen a piece of fiction depict "blending" on screen. Blending isn't a symptom listed in either DSM or ICD manuals. It is, however, something one would hear about if they had a conversation with someone who had DID. I have used that scene to depict what it feels like to my partners.

I'm getting ahead of myself.

I love Mr. Robot. It is currently my favorite show of all time. If you have never seen it then please give it a shot. This post will be spoiler heavy and I'd hate to rob anyone the opportunity to watch S4E7 and have a pure emotional reaction to it. The show is on Amazon Prime and the full box set is available for $35-50 depending on format and vendor.

Go with my blessing.

The first season of the show begins with Elliot Alderson (Rami Malek) living a double life. By day a cyber security expert and by night he spends his time at his computer hacking people's accounts and satisfying a "little itch in the back of his head" that guides him to uncover the murky facts about people. The first scene of the show has him take down a cafe owner who hosts an illegal and deeply unpleasant website. I have seen individuals walk away from the first episode thinking that the show is "Dexter but with computers" but it is more lulsec activism with a Fight Club aesthetic.

The show has 4 seasons and each season depicts a different stage of Elliot's healing journey and with it completely different rules and depictions of his condition. I'll break down each season for what they do right and what they do wrong.

Season 1: Discovery

Elliot's system in season one is undiscovered but he has overt symptoms, meaning he is unaware that he has any alters but he suffers from clean breaks in his consciousness and drastically altered behavior patterns both which are a detriment to the "hidden" nature of the condition.

Commonly most people do not discover their condition until their 30s. I was 37/38 when our therapist started guiding us towards accepting our condition.

DID manifests in childhood but it's a hidden illness that does its best to go undetected. The point of the condition is to remain hidden. The internet and the educational resources it offers are helping younger individuals to recognize their symptoms and advocate for themselves at an earlier age but the standard medical understanding is that most people are developed adults before they are diagnosed.

Published statistics for DID indicate the global population of those with the condition is about 1.5% (some organizations argue the number should be higher due to how difficult it is to receive an accurate diagnosis, but 1.5% is the most consistent figure) which is rare but not to the point of never encountering it. For comparison, according to a 2023 census 1.0% of people in the USA identify as transgender. There are no tested classifications for Covert vs Overt display of symptoms but it is widely agreed that an overwhelming majority of cases within the 1.5% are covert.

We learn that Elliot is desperately lonely, abuses morphine and has paranoid delusions about men in black stalking his every move. Whenever Elliot is on screen we can never be sure what is real and what isn't, so there are times when men wearing black suits are on screen and we cannot be sure if Elliot is paranoid or delusional.

The show takes place through his perspective after all and we are a character in the show.

See… the narrative device of the show involves Elliot speaking to "friend", us. The audience. "Hello, friend." is a common refrain spoken throughout the show. The narrative begins a short while after Elliot had a complete mental breakdown and smashed up a server room, he is seeing a court appointed therapist, is socially paralyzed to the point of which we see him linger outside a birthday party and retreat home to cry in loneliness.

The entire first season Mr. Robot is depicted as another character, akin to Tyler Durden, a wild revolutionary who wants to encrypt the data of the world's largest bank in order to seal the debt records and reset everything back to 0. He starts off appearing in scenes involving the men in black stalking Elliot to mingle him in with the paranoid delusions and eventually begins interacting with him in earnest. Though the reveal is treated as a twist 8 episodes into the show Elliot does accuse the audience of knowing the entire time and he refuses to speak to us for some time, even going as far as to keep secrets from us because he cannot trust us any longer.

It's at this point that I will note that media depictions of DID tend to lean heavily on the phrase "it's a visual medium" and depict ways that characters can see, interact with and communicate with alters/parts in a dramatic setting. Off the top of my head Hulk is about the only form of fiction I've seen where the temptation to do this doesn't take over and even then the old "other face in the mirror" trope shows up there.

So for what it's worth the paranoid thinking and hallucinations are not DID symptoms and typically a person with the condition cannot see or hear their alters. In fact a testing criteria included in the MID exam is to rule out schizophrenia by eliminating the possibility that the voices heard are external or that any hallucinations exist. In Mr. Robot they are likely caused by Elliot's morphine addiction, but he gets clean after season 1 and Mr. Robot is always there.

There are some plot elements which I want to talk about but they do spoil the final "twist" of the show. So I want to warn again that anyone in the process of watching should be warned we are getting into entire show spoiler territory.

The Elliot we see in the show is the result of the stress fueled breakdown that Mr. Alderson had 6 months prior to the show starting. The timeline is fuzzy in my head but there were two triggers which set him off and began his condition flaring up (and/or caused him to lean harder into his drug addiction which in turn fueled his condition). The one we know about is that he was locked in a server room and forced to work long into the night on an issue and the already upset and stressed Elliot snapped and had a black-out.

We come to learn that he has had these his whole life but this is the first time such an incident occurred that he couldn't self-justify what had happened. He smashed up a server room, something he felt himself not capable of.

But the second trigger is the more important one.

His sister, Darlene, moved to NYC and started visiting him.

The bigger and better twist of season 1 is that Elliot and Darlene are siblings. This is hidden from Elliot and the audience for the first 7 episodes and her presence is treated much like Marla Singer from Fight Club, of whom she likely contains some inspiration, where she keeps showing up in Elliot's apartment and acting overly familiar with him.

In the earliest episodes when we are learning about Elliot's lonely life he looks at a photograph of himself and his mother at Coney Island. Due to some hallucinations we know that Magda is an abusive mother and screamed at/hit Elliot a lot. We learn more about her in future episodes and she is a truly horrible parent. Likely more than was ever depicted in the show.

The photo is actually of the full Alderson family including Darlene and Edward but is not shown as such until the reveals that Darlene is Elliot's sister and Mr. Robot is modeled after Elliot's father. The photograph is a reference to Back to the Future.

But it also is a fairly good visual representation of self-filtering information, even when it is contradictory in nature. This is common not just in DID but in all forms of CPTSD.

Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a condition that develops during prolonged exposure to trauma and makes radical changes to the nervous system. CPTSD is considered a root of DID and it is universal for those diagnosed with DID to have a CPTSD diagnosis also.

One of the ways CPTSD symptoms manifest is "Emotional Avoidance". The nervous system is activated when triggers related to the trauma exist within the person's life. In order to function their brains push away these reminders and naturally avoid interacting with them. This causes those with the condition to become withdrawn, to isolate and to have distorted and often contradicting patterns of thought. For instance Elliot needs connection and safety that he associates with family but his family were his primary abusers and so he edits his memories to focus on positive associations such as a family trip to Coney Island that has become an obsession to him in adulthood. We later learn that Elliot's obsession with movies was born from it being his primary way of connecting with his father... which is fairly relatable.

His positive memories of his parents are held in high regard even though we know that his father "pushed him out of a window" and his mother used to put out cigarette butts on Darlene, tried to force her to commit animal cruelty and is often depicted in hallucinations as beating and screaming at Elliot.

In a case where it is impossible to avoid the traumatic trigger, for instance the return of relative who is a living reminder of his abusive childhood, the individual may begin to dissociate. Dissociation being where a person, overwhelmed by what they are experiencing has a separation from their normal state leading to a disconnect from emotions, sense of self and reality.

Episode 8 in particular contains a visual depiction of it when Elliot is having a quiet meltdown over finding out he has a 2 day deadline and his boss at work has known about the server exploit he installed all along.

(the show often uses the camera in ways to emphasize emotional walls, dissociation and isolation like this. This sequence does so by having hard cuts, shaky cam and frantic pace melt into a gliding slow lull where the background noise filters out and we can share in Elliot's distance from his situation for a moment)

Elliot's form of blocking out is extreme but has half a foot in reality (and half a foot in the logic born from the "twist" ending) in that in order to continue interacting with Darlene he views her as a member of Fsociety and edits out their connection until it is revealed in episode 7.

A small brilliancy about Fsociety is that the entire group is formed around Elliot and Darlene's need for childhood safety. The hacking elements of the show undoubtedly born from 9 year old Elliot spending time at Mr. Robot computer repair with a smile. The anon-mask that the show uses comes from an in-universe movie that Darlene and Elliot watched every Halloween and their base of operations is Coney Island. A place that both siblings seem to associate with safety and happiness...

Which is extra messed up when you factor Season 2's revelation that Darlene was kidnapped while on a family trip to Coney Island.

Darlene's panic attacks, need to feel special and her abusive upbringing are not the topic for this essay, but I wanted to make mention that Magda was such a horrible mother that a 4/5 year old Darlene thinks of being kidnapped from a family trip to Coney Island as one of her most precious childhood memories.

The desire to reach into the past and change things to create an ideal future is a heavy theme of the show and I feel it's important to note that though the Alderson siblings reject Whiterose and her scheme, they are both living in an almost literal fun house distortion of the few unambiguously GOOD childhood memories that they each have and have wrapped them around themselves like a protective blanket.

The plot of season 1 gets a lot more uncomfortable when you realize how much of Fsociety is two traumatized kids recreating positive elements of their childhood and trying to live inside of those memories while lashing out at those who took their father away from them. The entire plan is centered around events from 1995. The show takes place in 2015.

Mr. Robot himself is, of course, the ultimate symbol of that take on events.

Edward Alderson was a monster. He's referred to as such overtly in Elliot's detox fever dream. Everyone asks him who his "monster" is while handing him the key that we learn was to his childhood bedroom. A key that he hid to prevent Edward from entering his room late at night.

Yet throughout the first 3 seasons of the show we are only shown him in context of the positive memories that he and Elliot shared. Elliot was 9 years old when Edward passed away from leukemia.

At a point, Elliot is picked up from school. He has a bruise on his cheek and the scene begins with Edward asking "If I had to guess, you didn't tell Principal Howard your side.", assuring him it's okay to share his side of the story. Because Edward is convincing him to tell his side I am going to assume Elliot got into a fight but it's not impossible to assume that the school pulled Edward in to discuss the signs of physical abuse on the child. Edward would never tell Elliot to tell his side of that story so I assume it was a fight.

It's unclear if Mr. Robot is the one who participated in those fights (we only have 2 confirmed instances of Elliot's alters showing up in childhood. The window incident and the day Edward died) but Edward picks him up and protects him from his mother's wrath and bonds with him during that drive, he reveals his diagnosis to Elliot before inviting him to work with him at the computer repair store. Likely this is what leads to Elliot's hacker skills being born.

A hauntingly similar event in my own life is why I am a photographer.

Given that the majority of Season 1 has Elliot in the dark about his condition we are only given context as to why he is the way he is and see the display of dissociative symptoms which manifest from CPTSD. Mr. Robot existing at all is actually not required for this to be a good depiction of adults who grew up in abusive environments and the way they maladaptively cope.

I also want to give a little praise to the "itch at the back of [Elliot's] head" that shows up when he feels the desire to hack someone or dig deeper and the way he pushes forward with his own will until he calms down enough to let a creeping hesitation overcome him and prevent him from acting.

Passive Influence is part of DID. It's a situation where a "fronting" (that is to say part that is in control at a time) performs an unthinking action or is emotionally swayed by the influence of another part/alter that is not presently conscious. These are one of the biggest ways that the condition flies under the radar for many. When they are close to discovering proof of their condition they will often feel an unconscious push away from it. The phenomenon is fairly easily brushed aside internally as "a gut feeling" or an "impulse" but it's observable under the right conditions.

An instance I can think of in my own life is when our survival part is trying to push people away and our emotional part desperately tries to reach out. I will often find my hand grabbing a person's wrist and clinging tightly to it without even noticing that I've done it.

In the show Elliot is compelled by Mr. Robot when he feels someone is a danger or has a weakness that can be exploited. Part of him knows he needs to do something about it and so he lets himself be guided.

The season ends with The 5/9 Hack succeeding, all the financial data being encrypted and Elliot sent to prison for (minor) hacking charges.

He knows who Mr. Robot is now and he fears him as his enemy.

Season 2 (and the book): Exploration

The first 8 episodes of Season 2 are a filter for those watching the show, many drop off. Personally I love it but I can see why it's not for everyone. Season 2 is much slower than the first and Elliot is in prison for those 8 episodes. He's also imagining that prison is his mother's house.

That daydreaming coping mechanism is largely there to add a fairly unearned sense of mystery to a character development season and make things a little more visually interesting. For the most part I don't really want to focus too much on it or the way Elliot treats "us"/"friend".

The fact is that for this season Mr. Robot and Elliot are in direct conflict but they are feeling out their landscape and trying to find common ground. They are pulling in different directions but they are reacting and responding to one another. The show uses a chess match as a visual symbol of this and in such they are keeping one another in a constant state of check. They are opposed to one another but they are communicating and working things out.

So let's start by looking at the book. The book is a recreation of the in-universe journal that Elliot keeps while he is in prison. We see him writing in it during the show and the entire thing is available, it even includes little ARG elements to let you decode the messages Mr. Robot is receiving from The Dark Army.

The book is detailed like this and it's possible to note when Elliot's handwriting turns into Mr. Robot's handwriting. There are even points where there is "blended" handwriting. It's easy to spot in the above image because Mr. Robot writes with a heavy hand and in all caps where Elliot is soft and uses lower case, in the top line of the second page "you NeeD atteNtioN aNd aRe Willing to pay a lotta MoNey to get it." you can see Elliot slipping from one headspace to another while becoming upset at society.

Even still if you look above the FUCK SOCIETY image you see Elliot's calmer handwriting as clear and flowing.

When we were in denial of our condition we poured through journal after journal and chatlog after chatlog hunting for evidence to prove or disprove the theory.

It was when I looked at our old gaming journals (we took notes in pen/pencil live during TTRPG sessions because memory issues are gonna memory issues) that we noticed similar. Cursive used in some phrases, individual letters separate on another, the letters g and y getting curled at times and not at other times.

Subtler than what is displayed above but no less real.

Season 2 introduces us to Ray the warden brilliantly played by Craig Robinson. He empathizes with Elliot because he speaks to his dead wife as a means of coping with grief and assumes that Elliot is the same.

He offers Elliot guidance by asking him to play chess "against himself" and this leads to Elliot and Mr. Robot playing endless games of stalemate against one another with deletion on the line for the loser. It's the same brain and neither side wants to lose (nor do they truly want to win, Elliot admits as much in Season 3 that he likes having Mr. Robot and misses him when he's not around) and as noted above with passive influence, the games are always guided to end in a stalemate because no matter how opposed they are as forces, they both want the same things.

So... how about the Sitcom episode?

Elliot breaks his promise to Ray and looks at the website that he is tasked with doing tech support on. It's--- not good.

Ray uses a combination of crooked cops and convicted Neo-Nazis to have Elliot beaten into submission so he won't report what he saw. Elliot cannot handle this and has a mental break and wakes up in a 90s 4 camera sitcom world.

Alf is there. Because old episodes of Alf are playing in the medical ward at the time Elliot is being treated for his wounds.

The entire time he is taking a beating Mr. Robot is protecting Elliot by fronting and forcing him into an inner-world fantasy.

Okay... so Inner-Worlds.

In the show we actually had one of these in Season 1 during the detox trip but I want to talk about it now and round back and talk more in Season 4.

Inner-Worlds are a thing within DID treatment. Emphasis on the word treatment. It's one of the more commonly misunderstood things within discussion on the condition because it's regularly reported as part of the experiences within those who are diagnosed with DID but it's important to know that the existence of the diagnosis indicates the existence of treatment.

During any adapted 3 or 4 phase trauma treatment program that includes parts work, whether this be Internal Family Systems model which is used for individuals who do not have DID or system mapping and stabilization for those who do, the patient must work on creating a "meeting" space to visualize (or sense out emotionally for those with aphantasia) and much of the work of developing safety and structure within comes from filling that space with comforts and generating communication between parts.

I'll talk more on the "conference table" in Season 4.

It is possible for those not going through therapy to create one outside of the context of a therapeutic alliance but the creation of one is an intentional act. Not something that comes free with your childhood trauma.

Elliot's trip to the inner-world keeps him from experiencing any of the beating that the body is receiving and at the end Mr. Robot earnestly says he only wanted to take the punches for Elliot, nothing more. Elliot falls against him, tearful and whimpers out "Thank you" before we are given the flashback of the day Edward picked up 9 year old Elliot from school after the fight and confesses his leukemia.

For the record, my heart swells every time I see Mr. Robot acting as a protector.

So, let's talk S2E9 and the "blending" incident.

Blending is what happens when two parts/alters are co-conscious and are present enough that they are sharing control of the body. It's an uncomfortable experience. Co-Consciousness means that more than one part/alter is actively perceiving the world at any given time.

It's more complicated than binary yes/no. Every one of these experiences exists on a spectrum and no two people with the condition experience it quite the same way but there are levels of presence that one has.

The following is me talking more from anecdotes and personal experience than textbooks. I like to be clear when I'm not being academic because I do not want to spread misinformation in my arbitrary analysis of TV shows that will get 20 notes on Tumblr Dot Com.

Front is to be driving the body, to have your inner monologue playing (if you have one, most people do, but it's not a given) and have your emotions interact with the nervous system if you are grounded enough to feel your experiences. As I said, it's a spectrum. Everyone gets dissociated at times and can just go into auto-pilot or a trance. That all still counts as being in front.

To be conscious but not front is to exist in an emotionally reactive state. If Fronting is driving then co-consciousness is to be in the passenger seat.

It's truly difficult to describe and my therapist doesn't even fully comprehend it despite her being the one who educates me on these topics. Presently as I type this I can only feel one of our system (5 parts) active and "with" me right now. She's not speaking but she's reacting. I can feel her apprehension to us typing this much about our personal life, little flits of paranoid thinking that we'll get anon-hate or that people from our former life will see this and judge us. It's a presence and exists on a gradient. She's "awake" right now but I do not consider her fully "co-con" because if I asked her to tell me what she thinks about this sentence I can feel an emotional reaction (apprehension) but not a direct answer akin to "I think you should edit out references to our journal and focus on talking about the show" (which is what I imagine she would say right now). That's the spectrum.

Closer to the front a part/alter is the more direct communication happens.

There's also "asleep" and "dormant" when they are unresponsive. Pretty self explanatory. Elliot's system has 5 parts(plus "friend") and until Season 4 we only really see Mr. Robot and the main character version of Elliot. Magda and Young Elliot show up in hallucinations in Season 1 and Young Elliot is co-con in Season 4. Magda never shows up outside of emotional flashbacks and the inner-world.

So after Elliot and Mr. Robot combine forces (though Mr. Robot is still working with the Dark Army and is trying to move in secret) they have moments where they rapidly switch and cannot keep straight who is fronting at any given time.

There's a scene where Elliot is in another room thinking to "friend" when he hears an argument in the next room and realizes Mr. Robot is in the argument. As he walks in, Mr. Robot is surprised to see that Elliot is aware when he is fronting and he trails off and they switch.

Mr. Robot says that something feels off about how they are acting and that they feel like they're overheating.

A later scene depicts Elliot phasing out mid-conversation on the subway and picturing himself in the next car observing Mr. Robot talking to Cisco while a passenger plays erratic music on a keyboard.

That is such a horrifyingly accurate depiction of something we live with that I was stunned to see it on screen. I've included it in some of my stories that go over living with these experiences but the idea is when we are stressed out, can't keep our head straight and are blended like this we tend to have snippets of music playing over and over in our head. We also get what I refer to as "static" and that seems to be relatable in support groups.

A++ for the show depicting something about the DID experience that simply does not get spoken about outside of the spaces of people dealing with it. It was the moment I knew they actually spoke to people who experience this stuff and did proper research that wasn't just media depictions and medical textbooks.

The final part of Season 2's wild ride I want to talk about is the "lucid dreaming" bit.

Mind awake. Body asleep. Mind awake. Body asleep.

This again goes into Overt DID which I cannot comment on as much as covert depictions but the idea is that Elliot trains himself to remain awake when Mr. Robot takes over. We have seen from the blending experience that he is starting to remain when Mr. Robot is active and so he tries to force himself to stay when Mr. Robot is active.

In therapy this would be achieved through trust, communication and awareness. It's said in communities that systems tend to become more overt as they go through treatment as they are able to identify lines, parts can advocate for themselves and there's better understanding of what "self" means for every alter.

In my experience there's also an element of trying to pretend to be consistent and whole. We were coming out transgender when our therapist guided us towards DID diagnosis and there was a lot of tearing ourselves apart because we needed to act in a certain way for our safety and inability to do so put us at risk of being targeted. In accepting our system we have stopped trying to be the same individual and that has lead to a more overt presentation. As I tell my therapist "we need to act out our gender expression anyway. Every action we take is a performance."

That is to say, Mr. Robot has never attempted to maintain the illusion that he is Elliot Alderson (albeit he never identifies himself. He's even surprised to learn that Elliot calls him that) and Elliot doesn't even know he is "The Mastermind".

In opting to remain hidden and conscious he gains a greater degree of control and agency in his situation.

These things get easier as you learn your condition, build system trust and allow yourself to experience that which you feel comfortable experiencing. With the example of the beating earlier, Mr. Robot shut Elliot out and took the beating for him and Elliot resisted but ultimately did not want to be present. In this episode he learns that if he wishes he could have pushed through and been there and experienced everything, albeit as a passenger rather than the driver.

Therapy also teaches how to "go into the back room" to maintain stability. A technique that lets you volunteer to not be involved in a situation. My system all use this whenever I (Dawn) perform erotic intimacy of any kind. They cannot handle the thought of associating with those acts and prior to treatment it would emotionally disregulate our nervous system if parts that couldn't handle the concept were to be present during those moments because parts of me would be trying to dissociate while I am trying to act. It would either trigger a switch, cause blending or make a part shut down and become unresponsive for a large period of time- one of our partners actually discovered our system this way. She saw us shut down during a scene and realized it wasn't just a "mood swing" as we had insisted.

Elliot learns how to intentionally open up and be present when Mr. Robot is active and because Plot happens he is shot and decides to use this skill to close himself off and create a stronger divide between parts.

Season 3: Rejection

If Season 2 was the pair working things out on a chess match where they keep one another in check then Season 3 is after Elliot has tossed the board and decided to shut Mr. Robot out completely.

The arc words are "battling in our own voids", in Season 1 Mr. Robot was always aware of what Elliot was doing but Elliot was unaware of Mr. Robot's actions and in Season 2 they were fairly co-conscious to the point of overheating. Season 3 the connection is shut down. Mr. Robot has no concept of what Elliot is doing and Elliot no concept of what Mr. Robot is doing.

This goes back to the Overt/Covert thing mentioned at the start. It's a rare thing even within a rare disorder to have that level of amnesia barriers between parts and so I can't really comment on accuracy. It's a frustrating season for me in that regard because Season 2 was doing so well at depicting something that I have lived through that going back to Fight Club tropes was fairly disappointing to me.

Season 3 is great by the way. It's a debate on if 3 or 4 is the best but it's close enough that there is a debate.

The real meat of the discussion, spare for the events of the final episode where they reconcile, is in how other people treat them and talk about their condition.

Angela Moss is Elliot's childhood best friend and also lost a parent to the disaster that claimed Edward Alderson's life. She discovered Elliot's condition during his breakdown in S1E8 and was brainwashed by the show villain Whiterose in S2E11 (I have a write-up of the psychological principals at play with the brainwashing here).

In Season 3 she acts as Elliot/Mr. Robot's handler and is responsible for helping Mr. Robot continue his hacktivist terrorism without Elliot finding out. She betrays Elliot and exploits his condition. She also tells people about it without his knowledge or consent, which is pretty fucking monstrous in my eyes.

Don't out a person. Just don't do it.

When Mr. Robot asks how she can tell who she's talking to she responds "Your eyes. You're never trying to look away." which is accurate enough that I messaged my girlfriend to be sappy and grateful towards her as the first time she noticed our condition she told me it was our eyes.

From a 2022 IM chat, shared with permission:

"it's ... well, it's [...] your eyes soften, kind of, when going to Cammie. Dawn has this piercing gaze, like she's looking right into my heart and soul. Camden is just very alert, noticing so many things but not the level of piercing. Cammie... her gaze is softer. More focused, but in a ... drinking everything in, rather than seeking it out sort of way"

and added today when I asked for permission to share the quote:

"(for the record, Craig draws his eyebrows down in a particular way that makes his gaze intense in a good way)"

The show works as hard as it can to never let the audience wonder who they are seeing on screen at any time. Most scenes where Rami Malek is depicting Mr. Robot it is a brief perspective view to remind us what the other characters are seeing before switching back to Christian Slater playing the character. There are a few scenes which involve Rami playing the character for a full sequence. One is the context for a flashback where we see a scene Slater performed through another character's eyes where they see Malek.

The others usually involve us being in Darlene's perspective to highlight her unease and uncertainty of what is happening with her brother.

The only scene where it is ever treated as a surprise is when Darlene plants a bug on Elliot's computer while staying overnight and is roughly interrogated by "Elliot", only to realize midway through the conversation "Jesus. It's you".

The camera cuts back to reveal it has been Mr. Robot the entire scene. They avoid that trick throughout the show so it has large impact when it actually happens.

I feel like that scene (as well as the scene where Elliot wears the real Mr. Robot jacket and gives birth to the 2 Stage plan to take down Evil Corp) are important for reminding that no matter how differently Malek and Slater play their roles, to an outside observer they are the same person and when he acts "out of character" it could easily just be an emotional outburst.

Incidentally you can see the physicality of the acting if you go back and watch it again.

The end of the season has Elliot, betrayed, alone and terrified for the safety of his sister; finally reach out to Mr. Robot and open a dialogue.

He even goes out of his way to have this discussion on the Ferris Wheel at Coney Island both as a Season 1 callback and as a sign of trust. Elliot admits in this conversation that he missed Mr. Robot while he shut him out and wants him to be part of his life and in the season finale Mr. Robot says that he wants the two of them to keep talking.

Elliot also finds out that the window incident wasn't his dad pushing him out of a window. They jumped. Elliot asks in a kind and soft way to Mr. Robot, representing both his protector and an element of the loving father he wished he had, "did you know?"

Mr. Robot, the one who jumped. The one who wanted to protect Elliot from Edward says nothing. But he finally feels an alliance form with Elliot.

The road to healing finally has opened.

Season 4: Integration and Fusion

So let's address the elephant in the room right away. The show uses the word "real" to describe the Elliot who existed before the show started and considers him to be the only legitimate alter. There is enough wiggle room within the show to think that is in-universe ignorance but the show does nothing to prevent the fumble at the finish line.

I want to say upfront and before I start dissecting this season that outdated models of DID believed that there was a crack formed in a person's sense of self and that healing involved restoring the identity prior to the crack.

This is 100% UNTRUE and it upsets me that people once believed it. DID is formed in childhood during a time of a person's life (between ages 4-9) where the child is taking in data from their surroundings and integrating it into their socialized survival mechanics to form a personality. The child is working out what traits it can exhibit to receive nurture, care and protection from other humans and will adapt to those processes. Attachment Theory goes into greater detail about how this relates to the formation of psychological disorders, especially personality disorders.

For a traumatized child they will find that their environments do not offer consistent and reliable safety and thus they are unable to adapt to a version of their reality where they are able to maintain stable safety. This may be horrifying forms of physical, emotional and sexual abuse placed upon a child and is often depicted as such but it can also be a confused child trying to get affection from a cold and distant parent or having a parent who abuses alcohol and becomes inconsistent in their ability to give affection and care. Child psychology is a heavy and depressing field, sadly.

The result is that the child never forms a permanent sense of identity. This is a large factor in the formation of Borderline Personality Disorder and is why DID and BPD are so often thrown together within medical treatment and diagnosis. It's at the point of which when my therapist gave me our diagnosis she presented a clinical list of "myths" regarding DID and "BPD is the same thing as DID" was 5 on the list of 6.

The point of this detour is to say that there is no original self. A person who has DID never managed to form a stable sense of identity in childhood and thus they find themselves acting as chameleons in their day-to-day life, adapting to what they feel they need to become in order to receive the things they need from their surroundings. It's why there is a stigma in the BPD community over the concept of being "manipulative". In reality people with that condition are unconsciously adapting to their environment as a survival mechanism. With DID the added layer of dissociation is there to help the self function even when they are forced to interact with materials that are incompatible with their ability to function.

Pre-show Elliot was living a fairly comfortable life but his emotional needs were not met and at the time he was alienated from his sister. He was miserable and lived in a society that he felt was crumbling. His daydreaming gave birth to "The Mastermind" to remove the threats from his reality and Mr. Robot who had been there all along went into Protective Sicko Mode and decided to expedite the process in a way only a protector's morality could.

We'll get into system roles a little later.

The point is that day-to-day life Elliot (Janina Fisher's book "Healing the Fragmented Self" refers to the part untouched by trauma as the "going about daily life" part) is not Real. He is not The Original. Those terms do not exist and are meaningless in this space.

True/Real/Orignal-Elliot is as much a construct as Mr. Robot. He's a version of Elliot who does not have to think about the trauma, he can just live a happy normal life. The kind that Elliot speaks often and derisively about in Season 1.

With that out of the way, I'm going to ignore the bad use of language and talk only about what is depicted on the screen and not said out loud. Because if you remove the misconception about real/original from the mixture, this is a perfect depiction of final fusion model healing.

Season 4 introduces us to the conference table in the inner world. A conference table is a therapeutic technique used in trauma therapy where you bring the alters/parts to a conference. The idea is that it needs to be a neutral ground where everyone is comfortable and able to share their thoughts and ideas. With practice it can be a space one can close their eyes and imagine, seeing their system and allowing communication to happen between parts.

Mine is based on the Minerals Gallery in the Natural History Museum in London. I refer to it as The Library. You didn't need to know that but I didn't want to discuss this section without mentioning it.

Elliot's is the conference room in Evil Corp where he and Tyrell spoke in the first episode.

Interestingly enough there are only 4 seats in this set. I'm not sure what the implication is here as in the scene depicted above Magda (Persecutor Alter) is scolding Young Elliot (Child Alter) for sitting in a chair that isn't his. They mention all 3 alters who are not present (Elliot, Mr. Robot and The Other One).

My thought is that this is the show going all in on the idea that Elliot ("Real") is not an alter and does not take a seat at the table. Which I have issues with.

I'll note as I did with the inner-world that this is a therapy technique and not something Elliot would just have in his mind. It's an accurate depiction of DID treatment but Elliot isn't being treated for DID. Krista is no way near close enough to be able to help Elliot. She's wonderful and deserves the world and more for how she handles things in this season but she's in the pre-stabilization phase of therapy where she knows more than Elliot is willing to accept and needs to wait for him to come around.

Speaking of Krista. Episode 7 is the greatest hour of television rivaled only by Ozymandias from Breaking Bad and the M*A*S*H finale. At present it has a 9.9 on IMDB.

The episode is structured as a bottle episode in way of a 5 act play depicting the stages of grief. This is the episode where Elliot peels back to dissociative layers and understands the truth. The truth of what his father did.

I won't type it.

I don't need to.

The next episode involves Elliot seeing Young Elliot and following him to a museum exhibit with a model of Manhattan. In Season 1 when Elliot had his psychotic break after realizing Darlene is his sister Darlene and Angela checked this location stating it was a place he used to go in times of crisis.

It turns out when he was young Elliot hid the key to his bedroom here to prevent Edward from getting in. All these years later adult Elliot (or "The Mastermind" if you prefer, which I do not) discovers it and has a heart-to-heart with his younger self, screaming into the emptiness that he's sorry for not protecting him. Sorry for letting him get hurt.

The scene is lit in the golden hues that symbolize safety in this show. The final season also takes place during Christmas in New York so it gets to show off that color palette more often which is great for symbolism and aesthetic.

Young Elliot shows that the act of hiding the key from their father was protecting him. It was fighting back. Sometimes surviving is the best you can do and you need to forgive yourself for not being able to do more.

God I love this show so much.

That episode ends with the scene I most want to just overtly show off to an audience.

youtube

I already loved the show. The final episode may have broken my heart a little with its talk of "Real" but this scene? This scene gets it.

Prior to the above video clip Mr. Robot cautiously approaches and says "Hey, kiddo". Something he always says. It's who he is. Regardless of anything else he, Mr. Robot, is designed from the father Elliot wishes he had and when he hears Mr. Robot-- no Edward's voice he tenses up in terror, allowing the above scene to take place with Mr. Robot so scared that he has failed as a protector by allowing Elliot to remember and that he cannot be there for him any longer because of who he is based off of.

Those with the condition commonly create alters who are based on the traits of those in the child's life at the time the symptoms developed. I... have experience.

The lines I want to focus on the most are:

Mr Robot: If I could go back in time and change everything that happened to you... just make it all go away...

Elliot: Then I wouldn't be me... *He turns to finally look at Mr. Robot* ...and I wouldn't have you.

The final arc of the show is where the "Mastermind" twist takes center stage and Elliot enters his inner-world and finds out that he created a peaceful reality for "Real" Elliot to exist in so that he is unharmed by the horrors of the world that is crumbling in reality. Mr. Robot, as a protector, wanted to expedite the whole hack and destruction of capitalism in order to rescue "Real" Elliot from the inner-world prison. In time he came to accept "Mastermind" as a part of the whole and not a rogue alter who was endangering the body and their "Host".

S4E13 lays it all down. An imagined version of Krista speaks directly to Elliot and explains the system and their functions. Mr. Robot a father and protector who could prevent Elliot from intolerable situations. Magda, a persecutor who blamed Elliot for the abuse. Young Elliot, who Elliot could push the traumatic situations on, a common thing that many do unconsciously in CPTSD situations, dissociating from the person the trauma happened to, disconnecting until they are just another version of self.

Elliot then says "I guess she doesn't know about you." referring to us, the audience.

Krista(*) looks into the camera and addresses us directly, calling us the voyeurs who pretend we're not a part of it even though we have been here for it all. She even claims we are on her side in getting "Mastermind" to accept he is a constructed personality who was there to lash out at the society that caused him so much pain.

"You loved him so much you wanted to keep him safe, no matter the cost."

The episode ends with "Mastermind" Elliot waking up in a hospital and reuniting with Darlene only to realize that she has known the entire time that the person we have been following throughout the show wasn't her "real" brother.

...and god damn it I hate this element of the show so much.

I'll accept that they had very little time to clean things up and needed to get a way to have Mastermind agree to the fusion. I'll even demonize Darlene and say she was being selfish and ignorant in saying something hurtful because she missed the version of her brother that existed before Fsociety.

But Our version of Elliot says that he loves her and she doesn't reply. Her disappointment and resignation causes Our Elliot to go back inside and agree to the fusion.

The show ends in a first person perspective of Darlene seeing her "real" brother wake up and that's it. I'm glad we never actually see "Real" Elliot, that feels fitting.

Here's the thing about that last minute fumble though.

Let's talk about Integration and Fusion. They are different things.

Integration is when dissociative barriers come down. The system is stabilized to the point of which the alters are capable of communicating openly, sharing thoughts, memories and experiences and every part has the ability to opt in or out as life goes on.

"Functional Multiplicity" is what happens when a system is in harmony, no memories are being withheld and the system is able to go about everyday life with minimal disruption or disregulation. It is a valid goal for trauma therapy and there's a decent amount of medical stigma around it being used as the goal and not a step towards the goal. Many clinicians prioritize the appearance of normalcy over the function of the individual(s).

Fusion is when you go the extra step and take this communication and sharing of memory and experience and as you tore down the dissociative barriers you tear away the division between parts.

A system is made up of parts that make up a whole person and Fusion is the process of all parts uniting to "become" that whole person. It is a valid and normal goal for treatment. It shouldn't be held up as the only legitimate method of healing but it shouldn't be demonized for being an option. I say this because I have seen some people in support communities get real upset when the topic comes up.

The final sequence of the show, prior to Elliot opening his eyes, involves the system at the inner-world conference table agreeing to go through with it and walking towards a cinema screen. Elliot says this will only work if we go too.

The family (and audience) sit down in the movie theatre and memories flood onto the screen and pour out until all experiences and emotions are shared in one pool and Elliot Alderson opens his eyes with all 5(+audience) alters fused into one.

It was almost perfect if only Darlene hadn't have rejected the "not real" brother.

The cinema screen projecting memories, all the thoughts and experiences being shared as the Alderson System accept their parts in the whole and agree to the process? It was a beautiful visualization of a healing journey.

There are imperfect moments here and there. There are great moments I skipped over such as S3E8 (I'm not up for talking about Self-Deletion today) but all in all it's the best depiction of DID for a main character we'll likely get on TV. It's a whole and complete narrative and I love it so much. It makes me feel seen.

#dawn posting #mr robot #dissociative identity disorder #elliot alderson #did #plurality #domo arigato mr alderson #media myself and i #watch me post my trauma in public #Youtube #media essays

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artificialgirl · 2 months

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This is the second part of a long-form piece about a robot and a giant computer. It contains adult topics, overt sexuality, blatant robotfuckery, toxic lesbians, unbalanced power dynamics, wireplay, and lots of other things that may be triggering or make you uncomfy. Before reading this, the first chapter is on my blog under the #salvage tag.

Salvage - 02

Time inside - 00D/01H/47M

Levels deep - 35

After descending unimpeded from the start, you hit your first major obstacle. While the stairs down to this level have all been mostly intact, with the only issues so far being a few retracted steps, what you're standing in front of isn't something you can just hop over and continue past. For at least ten levels, every segment of stairwell just isn't there. You can see the seams where they've folded away to be flush with the wall paneling, but for almost as far as you can see, the stairwell is nothing but an unsafe drop to the circling landings below.

The reflective lenses of survey arms peer up at you intently from the walls of the shaft, awaiting your next move. The computation soul whose body you're deep inside must have figured out what you're here for, and based on the path disappearing before you, it doesn't seem too keen on letting you take any of its vital parts. Regardless of what it wants, you still need what you came for. Its intentions shouldn't be that much of a roadblock, anyway. Each main level has a control room to manually fix issues like this and bypass low-level decisions the soul makes. You give a last look down the stairless stairwell before turning away, pulling your cable behind you as you start down the hall.

Compared to the top level, this one feels different. Instead of the uniform hallways lined with evenly-spaced offices and charging bays, as soon as you step out from the stairwell you find yourself in a network of thin, winding corridors, where paths branch off into nowhere. Ceiling levels rise and fall seemingly at random, and though there are occasional hatches and doors, many of them are completely inaccessible thanks to the bizarre layout of the space. You find yourself crawling past thick drooping cables for a stretch as the level of the ceiling panels drops to half a meter, their control stilts almost fully extended to the floor.

This... CANNOT be how this space is meant to be. You can't imagine any logical reason the soul would rearrange the space to look like this. Maybe some kind of optimization that's not apparent to your inferior mind? Maybe hallways are pushed together like this to make more room for vitals? Or maybe, after hundreds of years of solitude, it just got bored. You sidle through a hallway barely wider than the thickness of your torso, popping out into a more open space.

This part of the level makes a bit more sense to you. A row of doors stretches down the dark hallway, and though panels on every side of you jut out seemingly at random, the space is at least traversable. After clambering over the uneven floor for a few minutes, you find the door marked control in bold lettering. You pull it open, and- It doesn't budge. The ceiling panel above is popped out a few inches below the top of the doorway, preventing it from moving even an inch.

You try forcing it in the other direction, but the lock is designed to prevent forced entry. You slam your fist into the window, and all you get is a dent in your knuckles. This CAN'T be where you get stuck, on a simple door. There has to be another way through. As you step backwards and lean against the opposite wall, something catches your eye. A few feet to the right of the door, an oversized ventilation panel sits embedded in the wall. Its fan isn't running, and you can see the room through its metal grating. You may not be able to get through the reinforced door, but metal like that should be easy to rip through and you could probably fit through the vent.

You wedge the thin points of your clawed fingers into the edge of the grate, slowly forcing them downward until you have a good grip on the edge. It comes off without much force, and you toss it down the hallway as you push through the one on the other side of the unmoving fan blades. There's more than enough space between them for you to slip through, and they rattle and vibrate from the friction as your cable is dragged into the room behind you.

The control room is almost completely barren aside from the terminal. A few empty shelves line the wall opposite the door, but other than that it's just the terminal's glow cutting through the darkness. Two survey arms are unfolded in front of it, crossing their wire-shaped forms like an X as you approach. You know it doesn't want you here, but you can't stop now. The arms click their manipulators together anxiously as you gently brush them aside, leaning in towards the terminal and entering your command. "Please, fix the central stairwell".

The written response comes back in a nanosecond, the first direct communication you've gotten from the soul since you arrived. "I'd advise against that, little thief. I don't know what it is you've come to take, but nothing below this level is a sacrifice I can justify." Your fingers tap against the keys, and before you can even submit your next message, the soul sends another. "Submitting that command would be unwise. I suggest you reconsider." You don't reconsider. You firmly press enter, and your message pops up onto the screen. "Override. Reset structure configuration for levels 35-45"

The floor lurches beneath you as the room shifts back to its original position within the structure. You're pulled backwards and to the floor as your cable is pulled sharply by the changing shape of the resetting halls, and as you climb back up you realize just how big of a mistake you've made. A metallic shriek cuts through the room as the fan whirs back to life, showering the room in white sparks as it wraps itself in your cable before ripping through the entire bundle. You're brought back to the floor by the sharp cutoff from your power supply, and as soon as you've pushed past the feeling you scramble over to the vent.

It's quickly accelerating back to top speed, flinging the remaining bits of cable back in your face as you stare at it in horror. This can't be happening. You clutch the severed end in both fists as you stare dazedly at the spinning blades, almost too overcome by panic to think. Even if you could get through the fan to get out of the room, your battery life would almost certainly not last you the trip back to the exit.

The only hope you have to avoid shutting down for good in here is to repair the cable, the other end of which is currently spewing sparks on the other side of a giant fan. Maybe you can stop the fan? It was able to rip through a cable the width of your forearm like paper, but maybe metal would fare better against the rushing blades. At this point, it's not like you have a better option. You brace yourself for the impact, and jam your arm into the blades.

Your shoulder screams as your entire body is pulled by the fan's strength. You're flipped nearly 360 degrees in an instant before your head slams into the ground and your arm wrenches free from its socket, clattering across the smooth white flooring as you roll over dazedly onto your side. You clutch at the exposed wiring, flinching as you make contact with your sensitive internals. It's hard to imagine this going any worse.

You drag yourself over to the wall and force your body to sit upright, collecting your thoughts and focusing on your battery. It's worse than you thought. A lot worse. The cable wasn't even snapped 30 seconds ago, but you're already down to 91%. Your systems estimate four minutes until a forced shutdown, and at this point you don't see any other way things could go.

You let your cameras shift out of night mode, and the darkness of the room envelops you. Maybe this will buy you a few more seconds, not that it matters at this point. As you listen to the distant final panels slide into their reset positions, your eyes are drawn to the only light in the room, the terminal. The red glow of the soul's messages pop their way onto the screen, waiting until you've finished reading each one for the next to be sent.

"I wish you would've listened."

"A helpless little thing like you should've known to place your trust in me."

"Maybe then you wouldn't be in this position."

You roll over and turn your gaze into the blackness. You're not going to spend your last few moments of consciousness being mocked. You won't give the soul the satisfaction of gloating. As you stare away, the darkness starts to recede, the red glow of the monitor growing stronger and illuminating the control room in its soft glow. 55%. You feel a survey arm clamp onto your shoulder, and you whip back around to look at the screen.

"I need you to listen when I'm speaking to you, little thief."

"I know you're scared. I know you feel like there's no way out."

"But everything will be okay. Do you know why?"

Another arm grabs onto you, this time resting its simple claw on your thigh. Even if you could spare the energy to shake them off, you aren't sure what it would accomplish. 12%. The lenses on both arms are fixed on your screen, watching you closely.

"Because this is where you're meant to be."

The last thing you register before your mind shuts off is the feeling of floor panels opening beneath you, making way for your limp frame to be lowered deep into the abyss of the structure.

#robophilia #robotfucker #ns4w #robot yuri #wireplay #robot4robot #pov #salvage #longer form

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deadlydelicious · 5 days

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The influx of new watchers from the netflix dropout is great, but once again...

new Black Sails watchers who complain that it isn't gay enough...

Why is it that 'gay' to you is only two men kissing? why do you need soft uwu romance with two men you can sexualize for it to 'count' as gay. why don't women count. why doesn't the scar of lost love count. why don't bisexuals count?

To hammer it in - Why don't the lesbians count? and don't 'cishetero male gaze' me. I'm a lesbian and i enjoy watching Anne and Max fuck. see the point above - lets be honest here 'queer enough' is when you can fetishize gay men. Your fetish is gay men.

The lesbians and violence are too 'cishetero male gaze'. I think this one pisses me off the most. Most Black Sails fans are queer. Most of the fandom are queer. Interestingly enough its the 'allies' I hear this from the most. Not every queer piece of media is going to be soft boys gently falling in angsty love. some times it's violence, sometimes it's lesbians, sometimes is queerness being a person and not a titillating makeout scene between two abercrombie models.

Maybe admit that you're not actually an A+ ally, you have a fetish for queer men. Which like...we all have fetishes, but you don't get to deem a queer piece of media 'not queer enough' just because you couldn't get your fix from it. Black Sails is queer from episode 1. fucking grow up

Like to be clear, I also disagree with the current marketing of the Netflix Black Sails drop as 'forget about OFMD this is the greatest queer pirate show'. For some people, OFMD is their purest representation. THAT'S FINE. for an angry gender queer lesbian like me, it's Black Sails. I mean....It is my favorite show, ad you don't have the right to invalidate my experience by saying it's 'not queer enough'.

I go back to what that one blogger said when OFMD first came out. Recommending Black Sails to OFMD fans is like recommending Hannibal to B99 fans because they're both cop shows. Not every OFMD fan is going to want to engage with the violence and overt sexuality of Black Sails, AND THAT'S FINE. It's got similar themes but it's a different genre entirely, and you don't have to like it. But that doesn't make it any less queer, how dare you even insinuate that.

#the 'hot takes' from new watchers have started #someone save us #black sails

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xhaotixaesthetica · 2 years

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Yandere!Stray Kids Headcanons

Starlink Intergalactic Navigator

You are in: the Asteroid Belt

Author's Note: This is different from the Yandere Ateez headcanons. While they're way less violent, I feel like they're more fucked up in a way. Maybe because they're more sexual?? IDK, just don't go into those expecting the types of yanderes I outlined in the Ateez Headcanons. BEWARE OF HYUNJIN, JISUNG, AND JEONGIN'S, ESPECIALLY JEONGIN'S. SERIOUSLY I DON'T WANT YALL TO GET TRIGGERED FROM MY WRITING.

READ THE TRIGGER WARNING: This post contains DUB-CON, KNIFEPLAY, BRIEF DESCRIPTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, STALKING, HOME INVASION, GROSS INVASIONS OF PRIVACY, STOCKHOLM SYNDROME, DESCRIPTIONS OF ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS, MURDER, NONCONSENSUAL GROPING AND DEGREDATION, SEVERE BULLYING, AND BRIEF DESCRIPTIONS OF PHYSICAL ASSAULT. The behaviors and relationships depicted below are abusive and unhealthy. These are not examples of healthy relationships, it’s actually the opposite. This is meant to imagine the members of Stray Kids in a popular anime trope and it in no way represents their real-life personalities and characters. Real-life Stray Kids are actually known for being some of the kindest, most respectful idols in the industry. It’s fiction, it’s for fun, PLEASE DON’T READ IT IF YOU KNOW YOU WON’T LIKE IT OR THIS KIND OF STUFF DISTURBS YOU!

Genre: angst, smut, fluff

Word Count: 7.0K+

Chan

The Keeper of the Gilded Cage

Chan as a regular person is very caring and protective of those he loves, and I don't think it would be ridiculous to think that these qualities would also translate over to his yandere side. A relationship with Yandere!Chan would very much start out as a normal relationship with thoughtful dates, caring texts, loads of affection, and overt displays of his more gentlemanly nature.

Chan is smart and Yandere!Chan would be even more so from all the years of hiding his deviant urges.

The isolation would begin gradually, mostly in the form of events that Chan has orchestrated behind the scenes to cause you so much anxiety in your daily life without him that you're too afraid to leave his side. From freak car accidents after him tampering with your car in the middle of the night to your own friends physically attacking you in outrage at the drama that no one knew Chan had started between you and your friends behind the scenes, you would slowly find every aspect of your life devolving into chaos.

But nothing bad would happen when you were with Chan. With him, you never hung out with anyone else so there was never any drama. And any time this "drama" found its way to you and Chan's relationship, he would always talk to you about it and clear up the misunderstanding, better than your friend who had fought and abandoned you without a second thought. With him, your car never had a chance to break down and land you in the hospital because you always rode in his and he would always drive. With him, your card never got declined because he would always pay.

Without your noticing it, your brain had created an association of safety with Chan. Everything always seemed to go wrong in your life, but not him. He was caring and sweet and nurturing and everything was always right in your world when you were with him.

Of course, it was natural that you would begin to stay with him so much.

And Chan loved it. He thrived on your dependence, on being seen as your protector, your knight in shining armor. He loved being needed, being the number one source of love and safety in your life. He knew it was wrong, but to him, being in love, being in a truly committed relationship meant being the center of each other's whole world. You were already the center of his and he didn't particularly mind all of the strings that he had to pull to make sure that he was the center of yours.

I don't see you ever getting punished, because you would likely never find out what Chan had done to orchestrate the dynamic the two of you had. He had created the most impenetrable kind of gilded cage to imprison you in, a cage that existed only because of your own fear and insecurity of your own abilities.

"It's okay to be weak, angel. Everyone's weak, sometimes. But we're strong together. As long as you're with me, I promise that everything will be okay."

Minho

The "Eccentric" Control-Freak

Anyone could get a whiff of trouble from Yandere!Minho from a mile away. It's not hard to tell that there's something dark and burning, like the flames of hell behind his eyes, and he has an intense gaze in those pretty feline eyes that's as much magnetic as it is terrifying.

I think that those qualities would be the very thing that would attract you to Yandere!Minho. Minho, as a normal person, doesn't make any effort to force himself to conform to what society says he should be. He's unapologetically weird, loud, and true to himself, going to any lengths to follow his passions and do what he wants to do, and I think that would be the defining characteristic of Yandere!Minho.

Unlike the vast majority of yanderes, Minho is very upfront about who is is and his nature. Unlike Seonghwa, he's aware his behavior is deviant, out of the normal, and unaccepted by the vast majority of people, and I'm pretty sure that he also knows that it's wrong. He simply doesn't care.

I think there would be less tension in you and Minho's relationship, simply due to the fact that it takes a minute for Minho to get attached enough to someone for his yandere tendencies to begin to show. It's not going to be something that automatically comes out on the first date, and the time it takes for him to develop feelings for you is really your only window of opportunity.

To stay with Minho long enough to develop feelings for him, I would think you are either someone used to being in controlling relationships, or maybe you just don't go places that much so you're not that bothered by it. Or you're just incredibly naive. Either way, you're probably someone that would find themselves acquiescing to his whims a lot.

Minho is quite controlling. He will let you go out on your own, but you have to constantly call and tell him how much you miss him and text him your exact location, what you're doing, and who you're with. If you're not doing those things, then his trust issues will flare up and the moment you get home, he'll be interrogating you about who you were with and what you guys were really doing together.

Minho is quite a sexual yandere, and I see your home life being full of a lot of 24/7 kinks. He would make you walk around with no clothes on so he has easy access, sometimes make you crawl on all fours and act like a cat, make you call him master, etc.

He would be quite affectionate and possessive, often touching you inappropriately in public to prove a point and it wouldn't be out of the ordinary to see him get in an altercation with someone he thought was looking at you too hard.. He would call you lots of pet names and keep you as close to him as possible, often bringing you with him to work or outings with his yandere friends, who had no problem with you and see you as more of an ornament on Minho than an actual person.

I see all of Yandere Minho's punishments involving some sort of sexual element: him carving his name into you while you're tied to the bed, choking you until you pass out during sex, sometimes even going as far as to fuck you in front of the person that he was about to kill for getting too close to you.

Minho doesn't have a problem with violence or killing others, but he definitely has to be in a certain mood for it, otherwise he'll just beat them into a hospital bed or give them a good scare. Most people are aware that you're Minho's significant other, and wouldn't be caught dead around you anyways, so Minho doesn't have to resort to these things often.

Overall, if you're willing to succumb to all of Minho's rules and regulations, he'd be one of the easier stray kids yanderes to get along with.

"It doesn't matter how other people say that we should treat each other. You belong to me, and neither one of us are going anywhere, kitty."

Changbin

The American Psycho

While it's pretty easy for yanderes like Chan and Seungmin to fly under the radar, Changbin is undoubtedly the yandere that people would least expect.

He's known in the community for being a friendly albeit kind of dim-witted guy. He's somehow friends with everyone, wouldn't hesitate to give the shirt off his back when it came to his friends, and was known for throwing incredible parties. Yes, he may be a little dumb but he was bright and optimistic and kind and well-intentioned, right?

No.

Because let's get one thing straight, Yandere!Changbin is far from stupid. In fact, I'd argue that he's one of the most calculating yanderes on this list.

His whole persona: the generosity, the dim-wittedness, his extroversion, even the parties, it's all a part of his facade.

Changbin is very observant, especially when it comes to noticing people's weaknesses and desires. He has an uncanny habit of providing what people want or need the most and that's part of why he has so many friends. And none of his friends are chosen lightly. They're all picked strategically based off of what they can provide him when he most needs it, whether money or access to their resources or even alibis should he be in a particularly tough bind.

It's this facade that makes it particularly easy for him to get to you. In the beginning, he starts off very much like Yandere Chan, courting you with extravagant gifts and dates and attention. But unlike Chan, Changbin would have no problem with showing his true colors.

It wouldn't be for a while, not until he knew you were utterly, madly in love with him.

The next day, you would be walking by yourself, maybe to work or to get a cup of coffee. And the next thing you knew, you were being pulled into an alleyway and pressed against a wall, the hot breath of a man that you had never seen before invading your sense. You could barely hear him through the blood pulsing in your ears, adrenaline short-circuiting your nerves as tears clouded your view of the man. Though you had one idea what he said, it was easy to understand his intentions as his hands roamed your lower back.

His face was leaned down so far that you could almost see each and every one of his clogged pores and just as his disgustingly chapped lips were about to reach yours, his body was wrenched away from you. And as you collapsed in relief, you saw that, against all odds, It was your loving boyfriend Changbin who had rescued you, fists raining upon the man with a vengeance.

And how were you to know that he's staged this whole thing? That he's paid this man to hurt the very person he claimed he would give his life to protect. How could you know that the man you adored was capable of such cold-blooded evil?

The situation had a dual purpose.

Yes, there was the added plus of our undying devotion, your grateful smiles, and loving words as you saw him as your savior.

But the real show came a few weeks later, when he was beyond sure that he had your complete love and trust.

That was the day that you walked in on him killing someone.

And he would be his true self, unapologetic and calm, urging you to look at the man's face. And when you did, you recognized him. It was the man who had assaulted you weeks earlier.

Changbin had already cut out of the man's tongue so he was unable to warn you that your lover was the very man who had caused you to be assaulted. And Changbin kept justifying it, saying how could he allow the man who had wronged his love so badly to continue to breathe. How could he allow this man to keep roaming the street when he knew he would likely do it to someone else?

And considering how hed over heels you were for Changbin, he knew it would be a lot easier to accept murder if it was for a reason you perceived as being righteous.

Maybe it would take you time to accept and Changbin would pretend to give you that time, all the while hiring private investigators to follow and keep tabs on you and make sure you didn't do anything rash.

And when three days went by and you still hadn't gone to the cops, he knew that he had you.

After this, the reasons for murder start getting more and more insignificant, until eventually, you'd walked in on him killing so many people that it was nothing more than background noise to you. The reason didn't even particularly matter. You knew, deep-down-was that the reason was nothing more than the fact that Changbin simply wanted you to see it so that you would be desensitized to it.

And it got to a point where you found it hard to care.

No matter whose flesh he had sunk his blade into the night before, when the sun rose and he crawled back into your bed, hair still wet from the shower that washed the sticky blood off of him, he still kissed your cheek so tenderly that one would think you were made of glass. He still put his arms around you so tightly that all the world knew how afraid he was of losing you. He still made love to you like you were the last person on earth.

While Changbin does meet the qualifications for a serial killer, he isn't necessarily putting these things in your view because he likes killing so much that he can't stop. He's doing it because it's the only way he knows to show you the darkest parts of him that do not shy away from doing things like this.

And once he knew you understood that, that you had accepted him at his worst, you would stop walking in on killings. You knew the monster that hid under your boyfriend's skin and you kept his secrets. For that he would give his love only to you for the rest of your lives. Whether you wanted it or not.

While Changbin would never hurt you physically, he is by no means above kidnapping, maiming, or even murdering one of your friends or family members if that's what it took to keep you in line.

"Always remember what I am, precious. Always know the evil that lies next to you in bed, protecting you while you sleep. And always remember that if you ever betray me, it could be your loved ones under my knife next."

Hyunjin

The Sadistic Secret Admirer

Hyunjin as a yandere would be extremely scary, because he is unused to feeling so intensely about anything as he does about you. He doesn't know how to handle the intense emotions you well up inside him and it can cause intense mood swings on his part.

Most confusing to him are the urges you bring out in him that he never knew he had.

Hyunjin has always been considered a good person, by himself and by those around him. Yes, he's a little shy, but he's friendly and knows how to use his naturally dramatic personality for comedic effect to sheer people up. He's artistic, kind, sensitive, talented, and, not to mention, drop-dead gorgeous.

Hyunjin had dated before, even fallen in love a few times, but it had never seemed to work out. There was always something missing, some invisible roadblock between him and the object of his affection.

For the longest, he couldn't figure out what it was.

Until he met you.

And, all of a sudden, it was like the love he had heard about in the movies. He couldn't breathe, couldn't move. His vision tunneled until you were all his eyes registered, and a sort of still haze fell over his mind as he knew. Nothing else mattered but you.

And Hyunjin knew you had to be his soulmate.

In that one moment, he completely unraveled at the seams, his grip on reality being replaced with one built on fantasy and delusion and you.

Hyunjin had to go to the nearest bathroom on campus to get away from you. The only way he could pull himself together was to be away from your intoxicating scent and your hypnotic eyes.

As he looked at himself in the mirror, he could swear he saw your whole future together stretching out before him in every breath he took and every dilation of his pupils. He saw every kiss, every touch, every declaration of love, a grand wedding, kids, and...crying??

In every fantasy of you, Hyunjin saw you crying every time you made love. He saw fear and love warring in your eyes, tears pouring down your face that made him pop a boner right there in the middle of the restroom.

Hyunjin was confounded.

He'd never thought things like this. He'd never thought of his previous lovers being as afraid of him as they were in love with him, much less him purposefully being the cause of their fear.

Hyunjin avoided you the whole day, disturbed at this new development in his mind, and yet he couldn't get the image of you crying out of his head. He couldn't stop thinking about how you would look when you were afraid of the man you loved, feeling complete and utter power over you, and knowing that the life of the person that gave his existence meaning was completely in his hands..

After a week, the disgust had ebbed, replaced by the devouring need to see you, to be in your presence again. Each second away from you felt like agony and Hyunjin was noticeably weaker, unable to eat or sleep properly when he couldn't see you. Were you okay? Had someone hurt you since he'd last seen you? What if you'd gotten a boyfriend or a girlfriend?

Hyunjin knew he had to make you his. He was afraid of what he would do to you or the people around him if someone else got to you first.

It wasn't hard for Hyunjin to befriend you. Even you, a new student to the university, knew of the reputation that Hyunjin held and you were flattered at the attention he was giving you, grateful for a friend there to make your transition from universities easier.

It wasn't long before you started to fall for him, and Hyunjin was well aware of it, but he was enjoying the pining, so you both continued on, best friends with obvious feelings for each other but both two scared to do anything.

It was a few weeks afterward that the secret admirer gifts started. They were innocuous at first, short love letters with candy and bracelets and flowers.

They would be left in harmless places, the seat you always sat in in your poli sci class, on your library book when you got up to get a book while studying, in your backpack if you left it open at the cafeteria.

It was something sweet for Hyunjin, and yet, all the while, he couldn't help but wonder how you would look all paranoid and scared if he upped the ante.

So, one day, he randomly starts leaving the gifts at your house.

It has the effect he desires.

You vent to him about this secret admirer who you once thought was sweet and now you couldn't help being scared that they were a creep.

And Hyunjin played the role of the understanding, protective best friend, taking you into his arms and hugging you, knowing full well that when he was staking out your house and saw the fear in your eyes as you opened his gift, he jerked himself to completion right there where he was standing in the bushes.

Your fear was even more intoxicating than he thought it was.

He tells himself that it's harmless, just a bit of fun, that he's making up the terror he's bringing into your life by being a good friend. He tells himself lie after lie, but deep down he knows the truth.

He knows that he'll have to put his cards on the table some time soon. And after that, he would never let you go ever again.

When Hyunjin sneaks into your apartment one fateful night, stealing you away, he gets the exact look he dreamed of on that very first day you met and he feels in his bones that this is how it's supposed to be.

He stands you in the mirror, his front to your back as he restrains you firmly in his arms, one hand over your mouth as he forces you to watch as the man who was once your best friend and your closest confidant reveal himself to be your biggest threat. He sees the fear for this man who had stalked you for months war with the adoration for the man who had been there when no one else was.

And he knew that, once he got you to his home, isolate and alone, it wouldn't be hard to make those ideas of him merge, twisting your mind until you were as sick as he was. Until you got off on your fear of him even more than he did.

Whatever sanity Hyunjin had left was well and truly gone.

Now, Hwang Hyunjin lived for your fear and your love.

"It was so hard to keep the secret that it was me all along, angel. I just can't fucking help myself! Don't you see what you do to me? Don't you see how fucking crazy you make me?!"

Jisung

The Pervert Next Door

Not to say that the other yanderes aren't, but Yandere Han Jisung is an absolute fucking weirdo.

Jisung would be what you typically think of when you think of a yandere: a socially-awkward incel with no social life/skills, a "nice guy" mentality, a porn addiction, and an obsession with boobs to rival that of a prepubescent boy.

When you first move into the house next to his, you don't think much about the fact that you've never seen your neighbor to the left of you. It's quite normal to not know one's neighbors nowadays, and you're so busy with your day-to-day life that you don't even really notice much.

To be fair, in those early days, Jisung didn't know about you either.

He's quite the shut-in, working on music in his dark bedroom when he's not binging anime and about to burn his apartment down trying to make spaghetti. He rarely leaves his place, unless he's being dragged out by Minho, Hyunjin, and Felix to get some air or Chan and Changbin so they can actually get some music done in a real recording studio.

Jisung, undoubtedly, knows that a new neighbor has moved in, but plenty of people have come and gone in the neighborhood since he's been there, and he doesn't see how that's any of his business.

It's not until one day when the stars aligned that you happened to be coming back from grocery shopping at the same time Jisung happened to be coming back from a long studio session with Chan and Changbin and Jisung got his first-ever glimpse of you.

In that moment, Jisung would swear that his entire life had changed. He was enamored by your mind, body, and soul (though mostly your body at first) and he knew that he had found the one, his person, his soulmate. Whether you reciprocated or not.

Jisung is the only yandere in stray kids that, if he had his way, would never enter a formal relationship with you.

Jisung wants to be delusional. He tells himself that you are fully aware of him, his existence, your "mutual attraction", and your "relationship. He wants to believe that you both are in a committed relationship, it's just part of your "relationship dynamic" to be in this sort of cat and mouse game where you both are never in the same room and hardly speak and you even see other people but you're both still in love at the end of the day. (I'm telling y'all, he watches way too much anime.)

In reality, Jisung likes the hidden power he holds over you by hardly ever being in the same room as you, yet being able to break into your house when you're gone and jack off to the scent of your underwear or steal your bras. He loves that he can watch you sleeping or getting dressed through the cameras he's installed and the little peepholes he's cut into the wall and you're none the wiser. He loves that he knows all the sweet spots of your shared walls where he can best hear you pleasuring yourself at night. He loves that no matter who you have over to sleep with, he's the one who can sneak into your home at night and use you while you sleep at the end of the day.

Jisung is also 1/3 of the Shrine Line, collecting any disused intimate wear like bras and panties that you might be about to toss or haven't worn for a while as well as used pillowcases and absolutely anything with any of your bodily fluids.

No matter how many times Jisung feeds those delusions about your "unique relationship dynamic" to himself, he knows deep down that the power he has over you, the fact that he can do all these things to you without you knowing about it or even knowing he exists, is what gets him off the most.

While, in my opinion, Jisung is definitely one of the grossest yanderes on the list, considering his long rap sheet of what, frankly, mostly consists of sexual assault and disgusting invasions of privacy, the silver lining is that he is the least lethal yandere on this list. His obsession with fucking with you from afar means he places a to less value on jealously or restricting your movements or controlling you.

The only thing that could happen to trigger a turn for the worst would be if you ever decided to move, but I find that unlikely to happen since Changbin is good friends with your bank that you pay your mortgage to and Jisung could get him to pull out all sorts of tricks to get the bank to force you to stay there.

"My sweet, stupid little Y/N. I own you and you don't even know."

Felix

The Clingy People-Pleaser

Felix is definitely uh...one-of-a-kind.

Felix, like Hyunjin, gave no indication of yandere behaviors to absolutely anyone, including himself, before he met you. Unlike Hyunjin, however, Felix has a major character flaw that is painstakingly obvious to anyone that knows him even remotely.

Felix is a massive people-pleaser.

Felix will go out of his way to do things for people, sometimes helpful, sometimes drastic, just to be liked. Felix has even been known to change aspects of himself just to make his significant others or friends like him more. No to mention the fact that he's clingy, but due to the people-pleasing, he's better at hiding that if it means being well-liked.

Most of this definitely comes from low self-esteem. Felix always felt like he had to try harder as a kid to make friends or not be seen as weird, and it's translated very poorly and prominently into his young adult life, often impeding and ending his relationships which only makes him more paranoid and insecure.

With Felix, your relationship was normal for a long while. Felix has dated plenty of times before without going yandere mode, so I feel like for him to find himself in a relationship where those tendencies are prominent, his significant other has to have shown some sort of attraction to those qualities in himself that he tends to blow out of control.

This isn't to say that it's his significant other's fault that he's acting this way, but more that he can tell that his significant other likes affection, being doted on, taking a lead in relationships, and someone who's flexible and Felix thinks that he's being a good partner by exhibiting these qualities to the full extent that he's capable of, but really he's just making everything uncomfortable by blowing reasonably desired relationship qualities way out of proportion.

Unlike any of the other yanderes on this list, Felix doesn't enter the relationship with bad intentions or ulterior motives, and he truly thinks he's doing the right thing.

It starts off somewhat innocuous, his usual clinginess, acquiescence to whatever you want no matter if it makes him uncomfortable or not, hiding or creating parts of his personality on a whim to make himself more attractive to you. It progresses further into his usual relationship-ending territory, calling you every hour, texting every ten minutes, requiring constant reassurance, changing his behavior or appearance to a disturbing degree once you mention you like something about a celebrity or someone you admired, and getting outrageously unreasonably jealous.

The change to yandere territory would come if you showed yourself to be comfortable with or attracted to these behaviors. This would rock Felix's world, and he would see you as someone who he could be more himself around, which would only make him worse.

Felix isn't particularly a violent yandere, especially not at this point. But he does start crossing a lot of boundaries.

He has a lot of newfound, extremely intense emotions for you that he finds himself completely clueless as to how to handle.

He starts breaking into your house, though for a lot more innocent reasons than Jisung. Felix wants to watch you sleep and just soak in the presence of being around you. It's an insatiable need for him to be around you, one that he finds little to no shame in indulging in the more the relationship goes on.

Felix is another member of the Shrine Line, stealing random things from you with little to no rhyme or reason and placing them on a little table he has stored in the back of your closet along with a bunch of pictures of you from your dates.

Yandere Felix wouldn't really be that dramatic, and for the most part, the relationship would actually be normal, albeit a little toxic and codependent if not for Felix's massive invasions of privacy.

The only time I see Felix's behavior escalating is if you were to ever start spending so much time with another person that he began to seriously think of them as competition for your affection.

Felix isn't like other yanderes, who would meticulously plan these things to a tee. His crimes would be unpredictable, crimes of passion when he was in the throes of dramatic, unjustified fits of panic, anger, or anguish at the thought of this person having the audacity to try and come between you two.

Maybe you find out, maybe you don't, but to be honest, I can't imagine Yandere!Felix turning yandere for someone who isn't at least half as yandere as he is. You'd probably find it romantic, the lengths he would go to be your one and only.

"I-I-I didn't mean to. I hope this doesn't make you think of me differently, but I don't regret it. I adore you, this is nothing compared to the things I would do to be worthy of your love."

Seungmin

The Wolf in Gentleman's Clothing

Seungmin is, without a doubt, the most dangerous man on this list.

His life is perfectly put-together.

He's attractive, he's well-connected, he comes from wealth, he's smart, he's cultured, he's kind, he's respectable, he's athletic, he's generous.

And he's been stalking you since you both were children.

Maybe stalking isn't the right word.

It started as an innocent crush back then in kindergarten, the first time he ever laid eyes on you. Even back then, your school had been intense. As the gifted division of an already prestigious school, most of the time other kindergarteners would have spent or learning to read was filled with vigorous study and competition for you all.

You were one of five students there who weren't nepotism babies, earning your spot there with plenty of pressure from your parents and an academic scholarship that you could maintain only through hard work and sacrifices.

You and Seungmin were top of your class, and, though you would think it wouldn't be the case, Seungmin had never been bothered by competition. Why would he be focused on that when all he t=could think of were how sparkly your eyes were?

As you and Seungmin got older, no matter where you headed in life, whether you maintained that gifted kid status or became a troublemaking victim of gifted kid burnout, Seungmin would always remain devoted to you.

Ever since you were kids, he had only ever wanted you and every single thing he had done since then had been to one day make you his.

Maybe it was a reasonable response psychologically. Maybe it made sense that he would be obsessed with something he could have for his own sake and not for the sake of being perfect or making his family look good. Maybe he could have had a normal relationship with you and grew into a man as well-adjusted on the inside as he seemed on the outside if he took advantage of the therapy that was so easily within his reach that other people would kill for.

But he didn't.

Seungmin was well aware that his urges, the burning desire for you and him to possess each other wholly mind, body, and soul were strange and healthy, but he completely and utterly didn't care.

As far as Seungmin was concerned, he lived every aspect of his life for the benefit of other people. You were the one thing he could have for himself. The one thing that brought him direct joy.

If you eventually started making trouble at school, it would be a large point of speculation as to how you were getting away with such things with your scholarship intact at a school that wasn't even as lenient on its nepotism babies as it was on you.

The answer would be Seungmin.

If you ever fell in danger of losing your scholarship, he would swoop in to save it at the last minute, unable to tolerate the thought of going through the motions without you there to make him better.

He would probably befriend you in your last two years of high school, building such a bond with you that it would be impossible for you to resist his persuasion to try for the top university in Korea, the one his parents would be forcing you to attend.

And who would be stupid enough to say no when the university accepted you, offering you a full four-year ride with room and board.

It was a dream come true for you and for him.

Your relationship would flow quite naturally, progressing from best friends to mutual pining to significant others to fiances to spouses in the span of a socially acceptable amount of time.

Life with yandere Seungmin would be probably the easiest of all the yanderes on this list. He would treat you like royalty, paying for everything and taking care of you no questions asked. He would be supportive of anything you did and pull whatever behind-the-scenes strings he had to in order to get you what you wanted.

You could even have a small group of two or three friends, most likely the significant others of the other stray kids yanderes.

The only problem is that you would never really know how much of your life Seungmin was controlling without your knowledge. You really wouldn't know he was controlling anything.

But he was.

Every job you ever got was only because Seungmin approved it, because your working there wasn't a threat to your relationship. Same with your friends. And your family. And any life opportunity that ever came your way.

Seungmin has a bodyguard and private investigator following your every move, reporting your every action and whereabouts to him every hour on the hour and he keeps up with you diligently. You don't sneeze without him knowing about it.

On the off chance someone manages the slip through the cracks and hurt or upset you or jeopardize you two's relationship, they are dealt with swiftly. While Seungmin doesn't have an intense proclivity for violence, he definitely sees it as a way to release his stress every once in a while, especially when it comes to someone who's messed with you.

The biggest change would come once you and Seungmin were married.

It was noticeable during the engagement: increased possessiveness, him getting more handsy, rougher with you during sex, restricting your independence little by little, him going less and less time without you by his side, making strange almost disturbing comments.

And then, on your wedding night, he would turn into a completely different person.

Sweet, doting Seungmin still remained, but he was now accompanied by a domineering Seungmin that kept you on his lap all day and touched you inappropriately inboard meetings just to show others you were his and carved his name into the skin of your inner thighs when you guys fucked.

The thing is, he would want the same treatment. He would cream his pants when you carved your name into his skin, want you to touch him inappropriately in public to show your ownership of him, and would question your love for him if you didn't try to fight every single person who flirted with him or even looked at him suggestively.

Seungmin would gradually pull away from the public eye, running much of his inherited company from home and sending underlings in his place to all but the most important PR events while you and he either stayed home or jetted around the world, always in each other's embrace.

Any time not spent with you is viewed as wasted time in Seungmin's eyes. He feels absolutely no desire for privacy and expects you to feel the same.

Seungmin is so wealthy, powerful, and seemingly completely normal that the both of you would never be caught, and you would likely be so enamored by him and his devotion to you that you would never want to leave anyway.

He won't stop until he has fulfilled his lifelong dream of you and he merging with and possessing each other mind, body, and soul.

"Go on, puppy. She looked at me. I'm yours and she tried to take what belongs to you. What do you think her punishment should be? I think it would be hot if you cut her eyes out. Then she couldn't ever look at other people's property again."

Jeongin

The Bright-Eyed Bully

Jeongin would be the most unstable, unpredictable, and probably the most unhinged yandere on this list.

Everyone on campus loves him. He's hot, athletic, sweet, and hilarious.

With you being the relative nobody you are on campus, no one knows or really even cares why would always seem to avoid him or be uncomfortable with him.

And for good reason, Jeongin's favorite threat was that he would sneak into your dorm and kill your pet if you ever told anyone how he was bullying you.

Because the reality is that Jeongin treated you like a careless child with a worthless toy.

Any time of any day, you would be subjected to being whisked away to an empty lecture hall or storage closet by Jeongin and he would tap into every insecurity you possessed, a sadistic smile on his face as he said the meanest things he could think of, sometimes while slapping your face, kissing you, groping or grinding against you.

The way Yandere! Hyunjin gets off on your fear, Jeongin gets off on your tears.

It's why he makes fun of you, why he tears down your self-esteem, part of why he touches you inappropriately knowing there's nothing you can do to fight him off. Jeongin absolutely adores the way you look when you're crying, especially because of him.

He pulls your hair, slaps you around, yells at you, touches you, and sometimes forces you to touch him, all so he can see the addicting tears and facial expressions you make that haunt him in his dreams.

Jeongin is incredibly possessive over you. In his mind, you two are together, whether you know or want that or not. He doesn't allow anyone to touch or talk to him in a flirtatious way, so you shouldn't either. Except to Jeongin, when it comes to you, someone simply complimenting your outfit or sitting next to you in the campus cafeteria is considered flirtatious to him.

And he makes you pay for it ten times over when the two of you are alone, while also shattering your psyche with the knowledge that he's killed or maimed whoever had been "flirting" with you earlier.

Jeongin could never get bored of your tears, but eventually, he will find himself wanting to be the subject of your affection as well as the cause of your distress.

Since he's already isolated you by punishing you whenever someone "flirts" with you, it's easy for him to scramble your head by suddenly being so nice to you and obviously pursuing you in public. He brings you snacks, pays for your meals, hangs out with you, forces you to go on dates with him, hugs you, pecks you on your cheek, and eventually starts making out with you in public and bringing you everywhere with him.

Jeongin is also the last member of the Shrine Line, taking the things that are most important to you both because he wants to torment you and because he wants to be among the things you consider the most important.

This isn't to say that the bullying and cruelty have slowed down, if anything, it's increased.

But now he's bullying you and dating you in equal measure, and it's only so much the human brain can take before it has to do some fucked up stuff to survive, so now you've grown dependent on Jeongin, seeing his cruelty and degradation as acts of love equivalent to his kisses and his hugs.

Jeongin has you right where he wants you, the "love of his life" a pliant doll to give him all the tears and affection he could ever want.

In Jeongin's mind, it was a fair trade. You do whatever he wants and feed his sick urges and he "loves", cares for, and protects you from others for the rest of your life.

"See, butterfly? You're as fucked up as I am. You like when I hit you, when I tell you how fucking stupid you are, when I hurt you. You're even sicker than I am, hmm? Who else is going to love your little pervert self better than I am?"

The Asteroid Belt

#yandere #yandere stray kids #yandere kpop #yandere bang chan #yandere minho #yandere changbin #yandere jisung #yanndere hyunjin #yandere felix #yandere seungmin #yandere jeongin #yandere headcanons #asteroid belt

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cosmereplay · 10 months

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Stormlight Pride fanfic recs - General/Teen Edition

Happy Pride! Here are some Pride themed Stormlight fanfic recs, General and Teen rated edition!

I got requests for cute KalMoash and any and all aroace Kaladin fics, so those are on top.

Here’s an aroace Kaladin to start, and it’s not just one of my favourites because I wrote it: The Wisdom of Horses by cosmere_play Rated Teen, 6000 words, vaguely RoW maybe? Bi Adolin has been crushing on ace Kaladin, and they both come to terms with their feelings.

An aromantic Kaladin! (please don't) say you love me by werealldreaming Rated Teen, 1000 words, college AU Adolin kisses Kaladin, and Kaladin stops him.

Cute KalMoash doesn’t have a ton of options, but I do think this one fits the bill: Moash trying to figure out his feelings by Axji_cancry2 Rated General (but I think it’s more Teen as there is one brief mention of sexuality), 6000 words, WoR era Moash slowly comes to terms with his feelings for Kaladin.

Now for some ladies! Raboniel/Leshwi, anyone? beautifully struggle, every day by shalash Rated General, 4000 words, RoW spoilers. Following Raboniel and Leshwi’s relationship through thousands of years of war and madness.

Shallan pining for Jasnah? Why, it’s canon, isn’t it? Three Meetings by Truthwatcher_Vez Rated Teen, 5000 words, vague Oathbringer spoilers. A modern high school AU where Shallan, a sophomore (grade 10) keeps running into Jasnah, a senior (grade 12), and develops a crush that goes unresolved.

A romantic pairing for a couple lucky Windrunner ladies: When You’re With Me, I Can Soar by cosmere_play Rated Teen, 3000 words, RoW era Lyn had a recent breakup, and she really wants to court Laran. But would it be dishonourable to ask her out so soon?

More overt romance, this time for Cord and Rysn: Lovesick Lowlander by TrishHankins Rated Teen, 2000 words, Dawnshard era Rysn is TRYING to court Cord but it’s not working

Let’s mix it up with some gender goodness: are you like me? by werealldreaming (Restricted to registered ao3 users) Rated General, 2000 words, RoW era Lift and Ral-Na talk gender, and they discover similarities and differences in their experiences.

We can show some love to polyamory! In the Flesh? by BlindRadiant Rated General, 2000 words, post-OB Kaladin agrees to spend some quality snuggle time with Adolin and Shallan

And to finish it off with a parade, Urithiru Pride! Urithiru Pride by BlindRadiant Rated General, 1000 words. Urithiru holds its first Pride, and Skybreakers aren’t allowed.

If you want more gender goodness (and don't mind looking for the ratings you prefer), check out this previous post of Stormlight gender fic recs.

If you like these fics, give a kudos, leave a comment, and/or share your recs with your mutuals, it means the world to us fic writers!

(Looking for the Mature/Explicit rated version? Click here!)

#stormlight fanfic #fic recs #fanfic friday #fanfic friday thursday lol #my fanfic #not my fic #happy pride month #sneaking it in at the last minute as is tradition #if you're wondering about a pairing or theme feel free to talk to me in the notes or dms I'm always down to talk Stormlight fic

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neonscandal · 4 months

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"JJK really went from a loved manga to a mid-to-bad story with insufferable fans 🙏 may more of us hate it in the future. It snatches the spotlight from genuinely good shows and its another case of "general shonen fan will call any trash 'goat' if the fight is well animated".

I used to be a fan, until the start of the culling game. And after this controversial, inconsistent and inhumane adaptation of shibuya, im glad that I have no interest in both manga and show anymore"

Do you think Culling Game really that hard to understand? Cause I saw quite a llt got turned off to JJK since that arc....

⚠️ Content Warning (no real spoilers) for the Culling Games arc. Nothing in depth to warrant burying beneath a "Keep Reading" but fair to mention just in case.

I don't know how to say this without generalizing negatively but the sentiments very much sound like they came from a cishet dudebro. I've noticed that shonen series' that have a fanbase made up of vocal queer people and/or womxn fans are widely renowned for their "insufferable fans" and this specifically is applied to JJK and MHA across social media. I wonder why.

From the lack of sexualization of female characters/students, the immediate shutdown that Nobara was going to fall for Yuji or Megumi in typical shonen fashion, the cast of men being curated for the female gaze across the manga and anime adaptation (Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Toji, etc.), the overt queer coding and presence of canonically queer/trans characters... also, the simple fact that the canonically attractive and OP characters aren't insufferable assholes? Maybe that's just a me thing but it seems like these factors have been rubbing certain people the wrong way.

Re: the animation of Shibuya and the practices that delivered the work with such an insane timeline and not to the quality of the team of animators' liking... that's valid. But that is a Mappa shortcoming in an effort to snatch up all the prolific and iconic adaptations they can, not a JJK shortcoming. As such, throwing the baby out with the bathwater there doesn't seem like a particularly sound argument but just a means to pile on.

A/N: As it stands, Mappa held the reigns on AOT's final season (taking over from Wit Studio due to production schedule), S2 of Vinland Saga (taking over from Wit Studio due to production schedule), JJK S1, JJK 0 movie, CSM adaptation of S1, Hell's Paradise adaptation of S1, JJK S2, CSM movie adaptation for Reze Arc, Zom 100... all since 2020 and does not encompass other, smaller series'.

I'll concede, it makes sense that the culling games left a lot of readers lost in the forest, myself included. Not the point of the games since we know, to what end, Kenjaku!Geto hopes to achieve at this point.

I think readers were stymied by how much time was spent on developing unique characters who were offed like.. a chapter later. A necessary evil to maintain the living core cast of characters who would later have to take on the Big BadsTM while also moving along the point system for the Culling Games. It seems like Gege Akutami took their time to cultivate these mini-fights though it wasn't clear to what end from a plot standpoint... yet. Empirically, we've seen small details woven back into the story which didn't seem apparent at the time given the exposition style of the mangaka.

As a reader, I love guessing at the end of stories. You can see the crackpot theories that pepper the Manga With Me tag. But the Culling Game arc spans long enough to lose the plot and make it so much harder to forecast where the story is going. Especially when Gege Akutami generally seems like a troll of a person anyway.

I think the Culling Games happening immediately after the Shibuya arc was a choice. Based on anime only fan reactions to Shibuya, what's to come is not for the faint of heart fans. Especially when you consider the losses suffered in Shibuya are immediately eclipsed by the regular losses and disappointments within the Culling Games. However, as a fan, I'mma let Gege cook even if they're using my tears and angst as seasoning because we haven't seen enough of the story to determine the Culling Game's true place/meaning within it.

I think, story wise, they started off too strong with emphasizing Gojo's overpoweredness. Subsequently, they had to write in caveats and build ways to close the gaps between him and other characters to allow for the story to press forward with or without him. I still don't know how this story is going to end though I think I have a new hypothesis from the last time I guessed at who would survive.

At the end of the day, it's definitely that person's opinion to jump back in once more of the story has been fleshed out should they choose to do so because a lot of people don't like dealing in uncertainties. Whatever they decide, don't let it sway your enjoyment one way or another, anon. ❤️

#neon asks #anon asks #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #manga #anime #mappa #mappa studio #culling games #culling game arc #gege akutami

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pinktom · 8 months

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Scrolling through your tumblr I seen the Tom is asexual observation

I am slightly confused because of the things he wrote about Harry at the start of the fic and he spoke about sexual things happening in juvie in the interview interlude (stating it wasn’t unwanted)

I know asexuality is a spectrum they say is it maybe he’s somewhere on the ace spectrum rather than not wanting anything sexual at all… of course if he was asexual and didn’t want anything like that it would be perfectly fine it could be me picking up those things wrong

I’m confused just of course I’m sure you know way more what you are talking about and obviously know your Tom interpretation the best :) curious will this be addressed next chapter

and sorry if this came across weird I am just finding some things difficult to understand atm as something happened a few months ago that’s affected my brain.

Hi, Anon. 💜

I’m thrilled to clarify anything about the fic and its characters.

And—while a long shot without context—I hope it can help provide any small amount of clarity wherever you’re looking for it.

"The observation about Tom seeming asexual is very much appreciated, haha. While ragingly homosexual, he is definitely is … stymied, in a sense."

I think where I may have confused you is saying I appreciated the observation. How I meant this was more like: I appreciated that they noticed his lack of overt sexual fantasizing. I wasn’t implying Tom is asexual.

Compared to Harry, who is pretty obviously daydreaming about one thing, it is not explicitly stated yet exactly what Tom wants sexually or what he thinks about erotically. We do partly get there in the next chapter though (sorry in advance y’all 🫣).

So to be completely clear — he is 100% homosexual, sexually and romantically attracted to men.

#lover’s spit #asks #scheduled for when k3u is online #scheduled post #x3

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xamaxenta · 1 year

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in honor of thirsty thursday: slut ace. sleeps with everyone that even looks sideways at him but purposefully never makes the first overt move-loves it when people throw themselves at him (his division, other commanders, enemy pirates, the occasional marine with no sense of self preservation). marco tries very hard to just be a good mentor figure for him and can absolutely tell that ace wants to take him to bed but marco doesn't want to be just another conquest. the sexual tension is killing the rest of the commanders, who keep coming up with more and more ridiculous schemes to get them to finally fuck

Marco doesnt want to be another conquest <- god your brain is so. So so big and beautiful like always how

I really do love the whole Ace cant recognise that casual sex is not a stand in for the love and affection he actually deserves

So its actually more harmful in the long run for him to sleep around because he thinks all these people that desire him love him

And maybe for some its true but most of them he’s a trophy a prize like I smashed the second division commander hes such a whore his body was good tho

Like underhanded selfish desire and Ace cant see that and thats what fucks Marco up the most because Ace wont recognise that sometimes too much of a good thing is

Often not that good

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futureplayboibunnie · 2 years

Text

‘Dessert’

Dr Strange x fem! reader

dear god what is wrong with me. this is so dirty.

its so ironic that i wrote abt cake like this when i dont even like cake.

MDNI. SHOOOOOOO GO AWAY BOOOOO BOOOOBOOOOOOO

Your blood was burning cold, you felt akin to that of a reptile hungry for revenge in any form. You were a patient human being, able to take just enough before inevitably snapping at whatever humdrum nonsense or incessant drivel. The man you love was testing that patience. Stephen was condescending and believed in a higher power that was himself at the best of times but today you just wanted to choke him the fuck out, not sexually but literally.

He had the nerve to insult your performance in bed this morning before slamming the door and leaving for the day to tend to his sorcerer duties or whatever the fuck. You knew it was a sick and twisted joke from the sick and twisted mind of Stephen Strange, , something you knew he would laugh at but you weren't laughing. He equated you to that of a fish out of water in bed and you immediately became self conscious at such a thing. You'd show him, get your sweet revenge in time and you couldn't help your mind think of depraved ways to get back at him and show him just how patient you were.

Maybe you could..No. Too cliche.

There's that thing... Nah, too depraved.

What if you..No way, that's too nice.

You slowly turned your head to acknowledge the Cloak of Levitation that was hung up on the coat rack, he really should take care of such an ancient and mystical relic and you were surprised that the intuitive fabric didn't follow him out of the door. Stephen had left in a huff and a hurry and you thought the Cloak knew not to follow him after both of you snarled venomous remarks at each other like two bullies on a school yard.

Maybe you could…Oh. Oh. Yes, that's what he deserves. What an inviting and delicious punishment, something so cruel yet so sweet.

You decided his fate for him.

—-

It was night.

Stephen was irate all day, his veins felt itchy like sandpaper rubbing against each other. You could be so fucking stubborn and headstrong, and that translated very well in bed but in real life it could be very challenging to even joke with you, he regretted that comment he had spewed out in a fit of anger. In fact, he's bedded multiple women and none of them came in the same ball park as where you were; he had never came that fast in his life when he first had you and it was almost embarrassing for him.

He was dreading heading back to the Sanctum, it was only you that was left there and it made his skin hot all of a sudden.

Stephen was rarely ever nervous, but you had this unmistakable effect on him; the kind that made him second guess everything he did. He found this need inside of him to impress you, even though you yourself didn't need that from him.

Stephen opened the Sanctum door with a defeated exhale, dreading the reprecussions of his earlier actions. Finally repeaing what he's sowing when you both enter an ever immortal screaming match of who is actually in the wrong. He quickly went upstairs first to get changed out of his sorcery clothes and put on a plain tee and some jeans. Padding away on the marble, he felt himself get heavy as he called out your name attempting to find where you were in such a vast archealogical landscape.

"Y/N?' He called out before ultimately finding himself in the kitchen.

He heard your breath and the sizzling of oil before he could register everything else, then his eyes finally flitted to you and his exhale caught in the confines of his throat.

'Yes dear.' You said with an overt sweetness in your voice, it was all synthetic obviously but he was more curious in the manner in which he found you.

To his surprise, you were cooking with a pep in your step, hopping around like you were a doting trophy wife tending to the food that was sizzling away in the pans. He could smell the waft of a hearty roast chicken and the steam of vegtables at first. The thing that made his chest heavy and his brain turn to mush was the fact that you were doing all of this naked, except for the thin fabric of your panties covering your modesty. What also caught him off guard was the fact that you were wearing his cloak. His cloak. His mouth involuntarily popped open slightly, his face could barely contain his confusion.

'Are you just going to stand there gawking or are you going to sit down? You must be starving.' You said with faux concern, a wicked sheen in your eyes as you stared at him like he was your prey, your little plaything. You motioned your hand to usher him to the kitchen island and take a seat on one of the stools.

Stephen's eyes were creasing with perplextion, he was annoyed, frustrated and incredibly aroused at stumbling upon you like this.

It was very clever indeed, such a fun yet tortourous way of punishing him for something so small. He knew you didn't care for atonement or turning over a new leaf, you were nasty and you were playing with your food. Toying with him just for the sake of it. He slowly made his way to sit infront of you, only the kitchen island getting in the way of your proximity.

As Stephen sat down, he fingers grazed over his face and lips remarking at the sway of hips to an annoying song you were humming.

‘Cloak, you've done enough. Thank you." You smiled at the fabric and it made it's way back on the rack. There you were, bare chest on display like you had no care in the world, your hair flowing and framing your face like that of a sex goddess. Your sexual prowess was truly commendable but your gall was other worldly.

Stephen was lost in his own thoughts the way he was gaping at you like a foolish and horny teenager, you cut the silence with a question.

'Stephen, can you get the chicken?' You bit your lip, all doe eyed and sweet but Stephen wasn't convinced you were doing this out of the kindness of your own heart.

He didn't have it in him to respond, he just followed your orders like a compliant little puppy. Sauntering his way around the kitchen island, he couldn't keep his eyes off of you. A magnet is something you were akin to. Stephen grabbed at the tray with the deliciously marinated and spiced chicken and placed the tendered meat onto the two plates that were positioned in front of the stools. You perked up and flowed the steamed vegtables from the pan and onto the plate too. Stephen had only just noticed that there was a cake on a stooled platter that was on the island also, he was too engrossed in you that he couldn't even sense its sweetness.

He leaned his two hands on the marble to rest his frame but before he could do anything else, you nudged your way infront of him and bent over.

'Excuse me.’ You said softly but there was a sinsiter breath to your voice.

Your ass was right where his crotch was, a knowing smirk tugged at your lips as he let out a stifled breath. You were vicious when you wanted to be and this was just another example of such a thing. You were busy with the task of adding sugary paper flowers to the cake and Stephen was pondering what to say to you.

He could just fuck you right over the counter.

'What do you think you're doing?' Stephen questioned lowly, in response you slowly grinded against him and it only made him that much more furious and in need to lash out. You were evil, revelling in his pain and arousal but again it was a fun little power play, you’re having your fun now…he will later.

'Dessert, you want a taste?' You turned to face him, a sweet blush applied at the apples of your cheeks and your lips which you were biting now.

"You could be dessert.' He responded without fully thinking, he couldn't hide his attraction to you even when he was mad, it made Stephen’s blood thin and boil.

'I don't think I'm sweet enough.' You replied bashfully as you got up and leaned against the counter, the nakedness of the small of your back hitting the cool marble. Stephen's arms trapped your frame and you felt stuck, your blood turned to glue and your organs into cement. Needing to get the plates out of the way because you knew what was coming, you reached behind your back to pull away at the plates and slide them away from your immediate stance.

Eyes were both locked in a endless perpetual abyss, a demented glint encasing both of your faces about the events that were about to unfold. He was not going to let you win him over this easily and you were not ready to forgive him either, not until he earned his cake. A prolonged shallow breath escaped his lips and Stephen's eyes were cast down to your tits, his eyebrows perked up and you rolled your eyes at his childish reaction, it was like he had never seen a pair shown so freely before.

'Cake?' He asked all coy and mischevious. Your eyes creased as his hand that was stuck to the left of you lifted to swipe at the cream at the top of the cake. His waved his finger infront of both of your faces to remark at. He knew exactly what he was doing. You nodded at a snail like pace, wondering where he was going with this specifically. Was it his turn to use your own tricks against you?

‘Open.' He demanded through hooded lids, eyes completely transfixed on the curve of your plump lips as they parted for him so eagerly.

Your tongue darted out and tasted the cream only tof fully fing hospice in your mouth, you suckled on the scarred rays of his finger and his small knowing smile portrayed a peek of his pearly white teeth.

'There you go, good girl.' He cooed at you. Once his finger was licked clean, you let go of it with a wet pop.

'I'm still cross.' You cleared.

"I'm still cross you can't take a joke.' He taunted.

'Mad that I tried on your cloak?' You pouted.

"Oh, I'm just irate.’

You couldn't even talk back at him due to him spinning you around like vertigo and grasping at your hair only to bend you down face first onto the counter. The coolness of it shocked you at first, an exhasperated whine rolling off of your tongue in the process, but then he spanked at your ass which made you go ballistic.

"Cocktease.’ He whispered through clenched teeth, you could literally hear the pressure hissing from it. He pulled down at your underwear harshly, the elastic burning the back of your impatient thighs, you felt a tingle shiver through you at such a harsh sensation.

"Your fault.' You breathed out raggedly.

Stephen was charmed at your ferocity, but ultimately he was seething because no matter how hard he tried, you would never listen and you would never shut up. Normally he could handle your whims but this time he couldn't take your crass attitude anymore. He reached behind his back to discard of his plain tee and undid the belt of his pants. In a ghastly whirlwind, he pawed at your hair with one hand and with the other grabbed a pile of cake.

"Open. Now.’ He growled. Prying open your mouth, he stuffed it full of the sickly sweet goodness and slammed you back down as if it was nothing.

Jesus fuck, you’d never experienced him do anything like this before, or anything else ever in that matter.

You whimpered against the thick mounds of cake in your mouth and your eyebrows tensed, Stephen let out small yet erratic exhales at your dispostion.

You just look so fucking pretty even with a dirty mouth.

Stephen left you momenterily and even though his absence was fleeting, the loss of contact made a hole enlargen in your chest. You writhed in pleasure. Waiting for him ever so obediently. He pulled apart the strings of the cooking apron that was dotted on one of the other counters, he grasped at your wrists together in an iron like grip so they were planted at the small of your back and tied them together so fucking tightly. It was biting into your skin and you were sure they would leave burning red marks tomorrow but you didn’t have it in you to care for the time being.

You felt like he was about to use you, like you were his own little fuckdoll and it made you rub your thighs together in anticipation. The cream of the cake began to melt in your mouth. Stephen spanked at you again and it made you yelp, he let out a low chuckle at such a desperate response.

‘Sweetheart, don’t be so down. You tried and failed but had your fun, now it’s my turn to make you feel good. You get what I give you, you take what I tell you to take and if you don’t and I’ll fuck you just enough to the point where you’re about to cum but never actually do for the next fucking month, got it?’ He groaned into your shoulder, ultimately biting on the flesh to leave small indentations of where his teeth where. To claim you. To make you. He knew you couldn’t respond and it made a sly smirk contort on his face.

Stephen grasped at the base of his hard leaking cock from the confines of his pants, spread your legs that much more to the point where it was bordering on painful and ran his length up and down your arousal. You were so wet for him and you were the one playing the game of getting him riled up. You technically both won at such a challenge. He slid into you with no remorse, your cried translated to tears as he pulled your body back to meet his relentless thrust. Each piston of his was relentless. Your nipples were dragging up and down the cool marble of the counter and it spurred you on even more, adding so much to the pressure building up inside of you. Your mouth was smeared in sweetness, but you couldn’t do anything to clear yourself up, you couldn’t even grasp onto the counter. You were all tied up.

‘I see you wearing my fucking cloak, naked in my fucking kitchen and you thought there wouldn’t be consequences. Baby, what’s in that pretty head of yours?’ He taunted you, his condescending tone was annoyingly arousing.

Stephen kept going and going and going and he felt himself about to cum, your stifled moans really did it in for him. You were feeling that pull in your belly threatening to rip apart, tear and shatter at any moment. He collapsed ontop of you, buying his head into your neck as he painted your insides white, you followed suit. It was like lightning stung you in the biggest pinprick, it was magnificent. Making himself and then you stand up, he panted and then laughed at all of this as he untied your wrists. Thankfully, you managed to swallow down all the cake he had stuffed in there and damn that shit tasted good but not as good as Stephen even though he can be the biggest asshole ever.

‘I love you all fucked out and panting like this.’ He breathed against your ear, your back facing his front. His soft lips peppered tender kisse all down the delicate skin of your neck.

‘Not like a floppy fish?’ You quipped with a sour smile carved onto your perfect face.

‘One, that was a joke and two, you’re the best fuck I’ve ever experienced. Everytime, it’s like you have this new technique to make me obssessed with you and craving more. I fucking hate you for that.’ He admitted and it stunned you, he hadn’t said that before.

‘Maybe later I’ll finally have my dessert.’ You smirked as hands wrapped around your front to just hold onto you.

‘Poor dinner, me and cloak spent time on that.’

‘I’ll only let you wear my cloak if you’re naked like this in front of me and only me, if you dare do it when you’re alone…’

‘Fine.’ You huffed playfully at his habit of just wanting to see you in his clothes, now even his cloak which was incredibly sacred to him.

‘I should’ve taken a photo of it.’

#dr stephen strange #dr strange angst #dr strange fluff #dr strange x fem!reader #dr strange x y/n #stephen strange smut #dr strange smut #stephen strange

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