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#me @ me: can you not be gay for FIVE MINUTES
luneariann · 8 months
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Guys this means Chuuya had to listen to both of Dazais gay ass speeches
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based on your asks responses & characterization of yuuta this is what i’ve gathered — yuuta is like that one high school senior who looked at the new coming freshman’s & just adopted them on the spot. there’s no out. now his friends sees the kid & adopted them too. it’s a family now. a very young, close in age family. (i was yuuta in this situation 😔 i was use to be megumi in this situation but i carried the tradition out. as i should. high school & middle school was wild.)
YUUJI THOUGH. we will probably never see him in your sea glass garden au but your asks is killing me. like his one sided beef with yuuta? he’s just like me fr. i too would fight over megumi if it comes down to it.
i just know yuuji thought that yuuta & megumi was a thing at first cause of the whole “his boy thing”. i know he screamed into a pillow about it. i know he went to gojo to ask for permission to court megumi & gojo was flabbergasted at such a medieval act so he had yuuji do the dumbest shit to get his blessing (ha).
i just know nanami is sighing at the idea of his son yuuji being a jealous little brat because of his other son yuuta. i just know yuuta was so confused until he witnessed yuuji & megumi awkward ass flirting. i know he acts like a little shit to get on yuuji (& sukuna) nerves.
you know what. this is my jujutsu kaisen. this is my sorcery fight. gege who? i only know you. PLS TAKE THE PEN FROM GEGE.
Yuuta is absolutely that senior who adopted that new student and made a little family. That is His Kohai now okay megumi is their collectively raised flour sack baby and they will kill for him.
Yuuji came back to life finally met the second years had just leveled up with his cursed energy and gained a new dad got his old friends back he was so so ready to go live his best life and then his new self appointed brother opened his mouth and started rhapsodizing about some impossibly beautiful and perfect man named okkotsu yuuta and yuuji is absolutely whacked in the face a la rubber squeaky hammer that there’s some gorgeous son of a bitch out there already living his best life.
His death sentence was overturned. He’s so powerful that he can save everyone if he wants. He is the legally adopted child of Nanami Kento. The curse attached to him 1) actually liked him and 2) moved the fuck on which some people (Sukuna) could take a few notes on.
Fushiguro Megumi is his boy.
This could not have devastated him more thoroughly. Even his newly acquired self appointed brother thinks okkotsu yuuta is the perfect man, which he manages to express at length in between warnings from the second years that Yuuta’s going to fly back from Africa purely for the sake of kicking his fucking ass for touching His Boy, which yuuji simply cannot handle.
Yuuji lowkey had a new lease on life and thought “hey! Fushiguro tried to kill someone with an elephant for me! Maybe I have a shot and he’ll let me hold his hand!” and then there’s god’s perfect man off in Africa who’s enticing megumi away from movie marathons with his fucking FaceTime calls right when yuujis almost hyped himself up enough to try the yawning arm stretch thing.
He spends at least three weeks trying to figure out if Megumi’s His Boy because they’re in a long distance relationship and it only ends because maki starts finding it more annoying than funny and establishes that it is not in fact a romantic arrangement. She thinks. (Okay it’s still kind of funny.)
Yuuji resorted to a terrible wikihow on how to get someone to date you and it insisted “get their parents approval” was his in and gojo could NOT have been more of an asshole about it. Nanami had to intervene to get it to stop. He is very tired and very confused. Why are you so upset about okkotsu he’s a lovely young man why is this making you more upset
Of course if yuuji ever found out that megumi became Yuuta’s boy after Yuuta personally restarted his heart he’d instantly understand why everyone acts like Yuuta’s the best thing since sliced bread. He is that amazing.
Yuuta and Megumi are completely oblivious to all of this.
Gege pls call me I just want to help gege pls
#sea glass gardens#just remember YOU can forcibly displace gege and turn the creative property over to me#I will be making several. SEVERAL. changes.#yuuji absolutely goes back into his room and screams into his pillow over Yuuta#he was going to try to hold Megumi’s hand and Megumi left to go talk to Yuuta just because he was ‘calling all the way from Africa’ and ‘the#movie ended five minutes ago why were you just sitting there looking like you were really stressed are you okay itadori’#nobara is exhausted just watching this#she’s the most homophobic lesbian alive why do lgbtq things happen to people who don’t deserve it#god she just wants a girlfriend with a sword and these fucking assholes are the ones who get their high school romance they don’t even#APPRECIATE the gay things happening to them#ignoring all canon since we’re never getting there in sea glass gardens#when Yuuta’s coming back from Africa Megumi’s very simply stating that Yuuta’s an important person in his life and he’s glad yuuji wjll#meet him soon which might as well be a DECLARATION OF UNDYING LOVE yuuji has a total crisis#yuuta gets off the plane and fucking hugs megumi yuuji had to get boyfriend privileges to do that who is this son of a bitch#gojo watching this: do you think I can get yuuji to wash my car again if I tell him I’ll distract Yuuta so he can take Megumi on a date#Nanami: why on earth would okkotsu need to be distracted for that to happen#gojo: that’s the beauty of it it is in no way necessary but yuuji doesn’t seem to know that
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lloydfrontera · 1 year
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CRYING LLOYD AND JAVIER OUTSIDE THE DOOR NOVEL ART HAVE YOU SEEN IT
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YEAH. YEAH I DID
OH MY GOD
i had already been screaming a fair bit about chapters 383-384 because it's just hit after hit after hit in these ones, but i wanted to wait until i had a free moment to properly get my thoughts down on this specific scene and Oh Boi. am i glad i did.
LOOK AT THEM. LOOK AT THEM AND TELL ME YOU DON'T GO A LITTLE BIT INSANE.
is in this chapter that we finally get a real glimpse to how lloyd is feeling about all this. he's faced down everything, he's overcome every obstacle that's come his way, he's holding everything together because he knows that if he slips up even once it's game over for everyone and he's done it all on his own with a smile on his face.
and then we get to this scene, which is right after a moment in which lloyd finally allows himself to realize how much he actually cares about his new family and then he sees a bran new way in which he's gonna die,,,
and he just breaks
he starts crying and sobbing because he's terrified, he's so afraid of what his future looks like because he doesn't want to die. he really, really doesn't want to die and he doesn't want to die in such a painful frightening way and he doesn't want to drag others into dying with him
and it's heartbreaking!
all through the novel we do see that lloyd isn't very fond of the idea of dying, like really, he's not that into self-sacrifice and he'd rather find another of solving his problems thank you very much. but it's not until this very moment, that it really hits you how terrifying his situation really is for him. how much pressure and stress and strain he's been under while looking for a way to avoid the restoration of fate all by himself.
and then it cuts to javier. listening through the door. javier who knows that lloyd, that this fake lloyd, has been hiding something for a very long time, who constantly looks the other way whenever there's something that doesn't quite fit the way it should, who has gone through literal hell and back for him because he follows him unconditionally,,,
and who now has to hear the person he trusts the most in the world break down alone in his room because he's terrified of dying but doesn't trust javier enough to show it in front of him. because for some reason he refuses to share his burden and lean on javier the way he's allowed everyone else to lean on him.
and javier is angry
he's angry because lloyd should tell him if he's afraid, he should tell him if he needs help, he should just tell javier so javier can do whatever lloyd needs him to do.
because that's his friend and his friend is stupid but javier won't allow him to go and do something stupid like dying.
that's what javier is for. to protect him. so he shouldn't be afraid of dying because that won't happen. and if it ever did, then it would be javier who'd die instead. if it was for lloyd... he'd be happy to do so.
but even as javier decides this he still has to hear lloyd cry all alone and it hurts
AND THEN THE NEXT MORNING HE TRIES. HE TRIES SO HARD.
he gives lloyd a chance to tell him! he asks and prods and tries to get him to tell him if he's worried about something, if he had a nightmare, if he's in trouble, he just!! tries so hard to get lloyd to trust him!! to lean on him for help!!
but lloyd refuses because he's so used to being on his own that now it's not only second nature but also a true belief of his that when push comes to shove he's on his own. that he needs to resolve all of his problems all by himself.
especially the restoration of fate. because it's his fault that it's happening in the first place. it his fault that everything is in danger so it's his responsibility to fix it.
he can't ask another person to shoulder the burden for him.
IT'S JUST!!! THEY'RE SOOOO!!! MMMGHHH!!! THEY GIVE ME A NEW MENTAL ILLNESS!!! I'M SOOO NORMAL ABOUT THEM I SWEAR!!
these chapters are so important for the dynamic they have until the end of the novel, these moments are how the rest of their relationship develops, this!!! javier wanting lloyd to trust him and to lean on him for help and lloyd refusing to do so out of guilt and a misguided sense of responsibility!! this is how it continues until the very end!! and it never gets resolved!!! bk moon answer for your fucking crimes!!!
anyway
as you can see. i am very normal about these illustrations :)
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elijah-inmymind · 4 months
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lmao mum was talking about these friends of friends i’ve met like twice ever and i didn’t remember who they were until i remembered being 12 years old and repeatedly whacking the dad with my book (while still keeping my page) for making a gay joke, after sitting through like an hour of the intensely feminist mum (heart in the right place, very misguided) insisting that i was oppressed and subconsciously ashamed of my body (i wasn’t) bc i refused to shave my legs but also ‘hid’ them by wearing pants a lot.
shaving is pointless if ur 12 and autistic and have no concept of the social expectation that gives many young girls that final push to start shaving, and pants are great when ur 12 and autistic and obsessed with collecting as many different colours of skinny jeans as possible bc they’re comfy and u love colours.
also their daughter was ANNOYING. she has a baby now tho which is alright bc i do actually think she’s smart as well as annoying.
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steelycunt · 8 months
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fuck it. game of thrones characters tier ranked
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Context: Gus Fring is basically what people think Mine is like. In the Breaking Bad Prequel, he's revealed to be gay, so thank god for that, but aside from that, Fring is focused 100% on efficiency, product, logic, etc. and his Gincarlo Esposito conveys this perfectly
Translation: If movie majima was more bonkers than in Canon, Movie Mine should have a colder machine-like demeanor than he ususally does in canon
(Also how could you not watch Breaking Bad uncultured pleb)
no i got what you were saying dont worry i understood thats just a whole lotta names i gotta read
AND LEAVE ME ALONE I HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN OF A FRUIT FLY I CAN'T WATCH 62 EPISODESSS
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rosaacicularis · 2 years
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the way i can predict exactly what would happen if grian and tommy teamed together for mcc
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cowboystatic · 2 years
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i know i said i was going to bed but i woke up in a cold sweat remembering today when i was talking to homophobia girl coworker (who i thought was a lesbian at first bc who else looks like that and wears a chain) and a few other people n i was like “okay top three favorite songs right now. go” and her very first answer was viva la vida by coldplay
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i think its verrry weird how you started posting nsfw posts and reblogging porn the minute you turned 18 idk
I hate to be the one to tell you this but I have been actively extremely horny since I hit puberty when I was like twelve years old. Human development does not work like "absolutely zero impure thoughts until you reach the designated legal sex age, where you have until 25 to finally learn what a boob is, and then 25+ you're allowed to have consensual sex 😊 because 19-25-year-olds are basically minors". I also can tell that the underlying idea in this ask is that I, and anyone who begins posting nsfw when they turn 18, was somehow "groomed" into it, when the fact of the matter is that I have been very naturally gay horny for years and waited until I was 18 to explicitly post about it because THAT'S how you keep yourself safe. You don't pretend to be a delicate sexless angel with the mind of a five-year-old who's never heard what sex is just because you're seventeen. I am a human being with sexual thoughts and I'm now a legal adult who is allowed to post about them. Realize that there is a difference between external adults "waiting until she's 18" and someone waiting until they themselves are 18 so they can go out and buy porn, which they've wanted to buy for years.
This is an extremely reductive, reactionary, infantilizing, and conservative way to speak to me. Don't even pretend you have progressive sexual politics if you think like this. Fuck yourself I'm so serious. No one ever speak to me this way again
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UPDATE What's up, it's the proposal guy. You said you wanted to know how this turned out, so I figured I'd tell you. First some context though, because I'm mean and I wanna keep you in suspense longer.
1- I don't wanna doxx us so I'm not telling you where we live, but suffice to say, neither of us are American, and gay marriage has been legal here for less than five years. For both of us, this is the first relationship we've had where marriage was even an OPTION, and I think that's where we've been getting some of that whole 'this has to be a REAL proposal with EVERYTHING' idea.
2- I gotta figure out how to explain this properly. So, I'm pretty used to being the GUY guy in relationships? I was always the one who did the nice gestures, not the one they got done for. Before I met my dream guy, I didn't really notice or care that it was such a thing, I just assumed that's how shit worked. Also, I promised I wouldn't talk a lot about his stuff here, but his last boyfriend before me SUCKED. Anyway point here is, it turns out we both REALLY like feeling swept off our feet sometimes, and a big part of finding each other has been getting to feel special for once? That's a stupid sappy way of putting it the point here is I think all that's what morphed into "I need to be the one getting proposed to, also it has to be completely perfect", and then our Petty & Extra genes got involved.
So I'm sitting in bed thinking about all that up there, and watching all the comments coming in basically being like "Dude, you are BLOWING this" on repeat, and telling me to compromise, and I look up and see him flossing in the bathroom and making all these doofy faces at the mirror, and it's like a switch just flips in my brain, and I'm like "Oh, I'd rather he gets to have his perfect proposal than we both have an okay one". I'm gonna do it.
Morning rolls around, and while I'm 'out for my jog like normal' I hit up a pawn shop for a temp ring (the ring pop thing is cute but NOT HIM). I found one I was at least confident wouldn't get ruined the first time he got his hands greasy (he fixes old machines as a hobby it's hot as hell), got back home, and hid the box in the toe of my nasty ass workout shoes in the bedroom closet, since I figured he'd check there last.
He was still asleep, because he stays up late no matter what and then is SHOCKED he's tired the next day, so I called and booked a table at our usual anniversary spot. (Side note about the 'he picks bad restaurants' thing. This isn't an 'I like Greek, you like Chinese' situation, dude's just BAD at finding places. He either assumes pricey is tasty and I get to eat some overrated gourmet bullshit, or he'll try and find something hip and underground and risk giving us food poisoning again, and he REFUSES to give up and pick somewhere we've been before when it's his turn to plan date night. I'm obsessed with him <3.) Date was set, I'd propose on the 21st.
Some of you might have noticed this, but fun fact! It's currently the 16th.
Last night I'm doing dishes and he's been sent to our room for mug collection duty, and he's taking FOREVER, so I go check just in case he found the ring, because the man's a gift tracking BLOODHOUND. Turns out he hasn't, he's found my Angry Box.
I assume other people have an Angry Box? Basically, we had this huge messy fight right when we first moved in together, and I never wanna let it get that bad again, so I have this shoebox where I keep a bunch of our stuff I can look at if we're fighting and hopefully cool off. There's one of those photo booth roll things, letters we wrote when he moved back with his parents for COVID, the wine cork from our first date, shit like that. Anyway, he's just sitting on the floor staring at it, and I explain about the Angry Box, and then he! Proposes!!! Kind of.
He definitely didn't have anything prepared, because by 'propose' I mean 'ugly cried & rambled at me for several minutes before I figured out it WAS a proposal', but once I got on the same page it was amazing. I said yes, and he had to admit he didn't have a ring for me because he was CONVINCED he'd win and I'd do it, so I grabbed mine because, yeah, he was right. He was like "this is the ugliest ring I've ever seen" and I was like yeah well the plan is to replace it later and he went "No. You can pry this off my cold dead fingers. After I'm buried with it." So I guess it's not a temporary ring anymore.
I'm just gonna go ahead and skip to this morning. I pointed out we still have the reservation, and he said I should propose there anyway because "We can get a free dessert. They have those creme brulee shot glasses you like. And for love, or something" and I said ok deal, but that means you gotta get me a ring to keep it fair, and his eyes LIT UP. When I swung by his work for lunch he was still on the phone with a jeweler and he had a whole page of notes on three other ones. Pray for me.
OH PS: I was RIGHT that he'd been the one behind the cat biting me, but it wasn't about the proposal stuff, it's because I paid my baby sister three dollars to shout 'fuck you' every single time he enters a room she's in for (if you ask me, he should be madder at my sister for charging so little), and he did it by giving her a bunch of treats for biting his hands too, so now neither of us can pet our baby girl without oven mitts on. HOLY SHIT I love this man.
Oh my goddddddd I love everything about this <333 I awwww'd out loud on a voice call, like, six times while reading. You two are friggin perfect for each other and so obviously smitten with each other and I wish y'all all the happiness in the world
PS Are y'all planning to have a big wedding? If so oh boy I can't WAIT to get that one in the inbox
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fromgoy2joy · 15 days
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I sat next to the protest today.
I wrote fan-fiction about two gay jewish dads raising children to the play list of the chant- "No peace on stolen land!" on an American college campus. It isn't a name brand one either, nor does it have any legitimate ties to Israel. The anger is just there- it has rotten these future doctors, nurses, teachers, and members of society.
I don't even know what to call their demonstration- it was a tizzy of a Jew hatred affair. At points, there were empathetic statements about Gazans and their suffering. Then outright support of Hamas and violent resistance against all colonizers. Then this bizarre fixation on antisemitism while explaining the globalists are behind everything.
"Antisemitism doesn't exist. Not in the modern day," A professor gloated over a microphone in front of the library. "It's a weaponized concept, that's prevents us from getting actual places- ignore anyone who tells you otherwise."
"How can we be antisemitic?" A pasty white girl wearing a red Jordanian keffiyeh gloats five minutes later. "Palestinians are the actual semites."
"there is only one solution!" The crowd of over 50 students and faculty cried, over and over.
"Been there, done that," I thought, then added a reference to a mezuza in the fourth paragraph.
Two other Jewish students passed where I was parked out, hunching and trying to be as innocuous as possible. We laughed together at my predicament, where I am willingly hearing this bullshit and feeling so amused by this.
"Am I crazy? For sitting here?" I asked them. My friends shook their heads.
"We did the same last week- it's an amazing experience, isn't it?”
We all cackled hysterically again. They left to study for finals. Two minutes later, I learned from the current speaker that “Zionism” is behind everything bad in this world.
Forty-five minutes in, a boy I recognized joined me on my lonely bench. He came from a very secular Jewish family and had joined Hillel recently to learn more about his culture. His first Seder was two nights ago.
He sat next to me, heavy like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. There was just this despondent look on his face. I couldn’t describe it anyone else, but just sheer hopelessness personified.
“They hate us. I can’t believe how much they hate us.” He said in greeting.
And for the first time all day, I had no snarky response or glib. All I could do was stare out into the crowd, and sigh.
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libraford · 11 months
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Now that I work with a bunch of homophobes, I feel the weight of being a 'one of us.'
"Why are women so --- oh but not you, you're different."
"Why are gays so--' but you're not like them, you're more like us."
Krusty The Bird Killer rants for five minutes about black women being 'sluts that all have eight kids with different fathers because they'll lay with anything that moves,' and then talk sweet to our secretary, a black woman in her 40s who doesnt seem to count as a black woman when he's ranting.
I've been trying to put words to this behavior for awhile now. And I think it just comes down to 'us vs them.'
I showed up to work in a cowboy hat and work boots, wasnt afraid of the men's room, and lifted a 50 pound trash bag full of dog shit on my first day. I'm not like other women to them. I dont count. I'm one of us.
I talk about my girlfriend in a quiet way: I dont declare queer supremacy and I dont make my whole life about being queer and oppressed. I'm not like other lesbians. I dont count. I'm one of us.
They dont know me. They dont know my girly interests and they dont know about my political art pieces and they dont know about the fake eyelashes that I wore during pride. They certainly dont know I'm trans.
I passed their test. I'm 'one of the dudes.'
I'm really not, though.
If they saw me outside of work, I would be a Them. But they got to know me first. I'm in their list of "thems that are us." And every them that they meet can be an us. But they dont go out of their way to meet many thems.
I'm a Gay. I'm not the Gays. I'm (to them) a woman. I'm not Women. The secretary is black. But shes not The Blacks (pardon the phrasing, it hurt me to even type it that way.)
Every person is the stereotype of their group until someone gets to know them. But that doesn't disprove the stereotype- it just means that the person doesnt count as part of that group anymore. They're with us now.
Respectability politics really dont get us anywhere. If you're out to disprove the stereotype out of a sense that you'll change their minds, I'm telling you that energy is better spent living authentically if you are safe to do so.
Your influence on them doesnt change their perception of the box they put you in. They just put you in a smaller box. Fuck their opinions.
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highvern · 20 days
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Between the Titles
Pairing: Min Yoongi x fem!reader
Genre: fluff, smut (mature/18+)
warnings: egregious caffeine consumption, yoongi smokes cigarettes, reader is about the same height as yoongi (its me hello im almost the same height as him), gay taehyung, volunteer jungkook, silver fox yoongi (he just has some gray hair bc hot) smut warnings: making out, grinding, fingering, oral (f. receiving), semi-public sexual acts, bathroom sex, protected sex, praise kink
Length: ~9.5k
Note: no thoughts, just big brain yoongi in a sweater smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee. btw almost all the books in this are real but i haven't read them so if you have lmk if they're worth the read lmao. thank u to my dearest @gyuswhore and @idyllic-ghost for beta-ing this
Summary: Five days a week in the library means you're very familiar with the senior research librarian. It also means he has no qualms about making his own book recommendations either.
m.list + support my work
This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked.
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The sweet aroma of old books and strong coffee infiltrates your nose as the heavy doors into the library swing open, offering reprieve from the storm raging on outside. It’s far too early for anyone to be here beyond staff and a few other morning birds. You glide right to the circulation desk as if fatigue doesn’t pulse through your veins, barely quelled by the second cup of coffee you sip from.
As always, the same familiar head of dark hair with sparse silver streaks waits at the circulation desk. He’s the only person working this early despite being the senior research librarian but you never hear any complaints louder than muttered annoyance under his breath when he thinks no one is around to hear. Bent over his laptop, Yoongi doesn’t even bother to look up as he slides a heavy stack of books to the edge of the counter. 
Eleven total, ten heavy volumes on ancient fertility cults across the globe, and one book you know he’s mixed in for his own amusement. 
It’s become something of a game between you two. At first you thought he was mixing your materials with someone else’s, but every time you brought the additional copy back to his desk, Yoongi insisted he had no idea what you were talking about and questioned your reading choices. Each time the titles got more ridiculous: Castration: The Advantages and the Disadvantages, How to Enjoy Your Weeds, Amish Vampires in Space, the list goes on and on. But after he slipped Why Fish Don’t Exist into your stack a few weeks ago, you decided to start responding. 
You left the stack at his desk like usual, ears perked for his reaction to Fishes I Have Known. An amused snort rang out just as you opened the doors to leave for the afternoon. The sound was so unlike the stoic man you’d become accustomed to over months working on your thesis; not that you heard him talk much to begin with.
Since then you’ve made a point to match every book he leaves for you. Yesterday, Yoongi chose I Could Pee on This: and Other Poems by Cats. At the end of the day, you spent thirty minutes searching shelf after shelf for an appropriate response, every book failing to meet your expectations. It wasn’t fair he knew the expansive collection like the back of his hand but nevertheless you found something up to par.
Yoongi rolled his eyes when you passed your books over the counter, a copy of Staying Dry: A Practical Guide to Bladder Control, like a shining star on top. A brief pink of his tongue flashed across his lips, a feeble attempt to muffle an amused smile. It was the most obvious reaction since the first time you responded.
Smiling like the cat who ate the canary, you left on clouds last night.
But this morning you have notes to write.
Snagging the collection, you make your way deeper into the building. Your unassigned-assigned desk tucked away on the fifth floor, far enough away from any noise so you can fully immerse in work without the threat of distraction. An uninterrupted view of the courtyard below is an added bonus.
The wooden table top is covered in a neat collection of pens and sticky notes in minutes; your laptop and the foot tall collection of references you devour over the next eight hours taking up the other half.
A few titles you request over and over sit on top, too valuable to be checked out for long term use so you settle for keeping them in constant rotation since no one else bothers to read the dusty yellowing tombs. For now, you focus on the new pieces you hope hold the information you need.
Earth rites: fertility practices in pre-industrial Britain, Archaeology and Fertility Cults in the Ancient Mediterranean, Metamorphosis of Baubo: myths of woman's sexual energy— 
I’m in Love with Mothman…
Well there it is.
You thumb across the glossy cartoon cover, failing to bite back a smile. Yoongi has a penchant for tossing in the most outlandish romance books he can find. Maybe because he knows you spend just as much if not more time than he does between the stacks. The suggestion box at the desk was full of cards stained with your penmanship asking for longer hours; several of which you’ve seen Yoongi rip in half as he pointedly met your gaze.
Tossing it aside, you pull forward one of the more musty books and start reading.
When you finally manage to resurface from laborious tales on several cults of Aphrodite, the rain is long gone. Even the darkest corners of the old building seem to glow gold in the evening sunset filtering through the glass doors. They're the only thing standing between you and freedom in the form curling up on your couch with a glass of wine and a new episode of your favorite reality dating show. But first, Yoongi needs his books back. 
His desk chair is abandoned and the return cart is gone as well which means he could be anywhere in the building. Disappointment leaches into your spine at the fact you won’t be able to witness his reaction to the twelfth book in your pile; the one you spent an extra fifteen minutes looking for in the corner of the third floor. 
A thick piece of library paper lists the materials you’ll need for the next day lays atop the neon green cover of Pest Management Solutions: How to Manage Your Moth Problem. They decorate the corner of the desk until Yoongi returns to find them. Hopefully he appreciates your humor.
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Yoongi isn’t at his desk the next morning when you come in either. Instead, a doe eyed man with a lip piercing occupies the chair, clearly playing some game on his laptop. 
Approaching the counter, you begin to ask, “Where’s Yoon–”
“Staff meeting,” he interjects like he’s already answered the question a million times despite the library opening only five minutes ago. The white of his teeth threaten to blind you. “But I can help you!”
His name tag isn’t the same engraved golden metal Yoongi’s is, it’s a plastic sleeve with a paper insert with barely legible handwriting you decipher as  “Jungkook” and below “Volunteer.” You’ve seen him before from a distance. Usually trudging through the shelves with the book return cart in tow, occasionally taking a quick read inside before putting them in their rightful place. 
“I need to pick up some books. I gave Yoongi the list yesterday.”
“Sure.” Jungkook jumps up, approaching the shelf lined with piles for other patrons. “What’s your last name?”
He combs through the list after you answer, finding your stack easily enough. 
“Alright so Yoongi left a note that the encyclopedias you wanted are on the usual desk you have upstairs. But other than that I’ve got: Historical Studies of Changing Fertility, Sacred Mushroom and The Cross, Archaeology and Fertility Cults in The Ancient Mediterranean…” Jungkook lists off the titles, checking to make sure they're all in order. “And, um, this one isn’t on the list.”
It must be Yoongi’s choice for the day.
“What is it?”
Jungkook looks like he’s trying to hide his own amusement as he slides it over for you to read.
If I Were a Bird, You'd be The First Person I'd Shit On.
“Huh,” you blush. “Wonder how that got in there.”
“He must have left it by mistake. I can put it ba–”
“No, I’ll take it.” You toss it on top of the other, less embarrassing books in your stack and gather it into your arms before Jungkook can get in another word. “Thanks for your help!”
Scurrying towards the hallway housing the elevators, you attempt to juggle the pile of books, your stuffed bag, and coffee without taking a spill. It’s one thing to have your silent battle with Yoongi, but having someone else witness it makes you feel downright silly. And for the first one witnessed by others to be such an absurd and downright passive aggressive selection sends embarrassment through your veins.
As promised, three encyclopedias sit neatly on your desk; the volumes so thick they protrude from the table top like a small mountain. No wonder he left them there instead of making you carry them up in individual trips. But Yoongi’s goodwill clearly ended there. A sticky note on top of the stack pens his discontent at your selection.
I had to spend 3 hours in the basement to find these. If you need them again, don’t.
Even though he hadn’t signed it, you know it’s from him. The tight script fits his personality; thin lines of annoyance bleeding through the ink, not just his words. A waft of musty old paper and dust breezes through your nose as you open the first copy. They must have been housed in a forgotten storage area. At least his bird book makes more sense now. 
You don’t dig into the heap until after the sun is halfway through the sky but when you do it only proves to unravel your wits. Reading on, the wrinkle in your eyebrows deepens further. Page after page of conflicting knowledge passes by, each sentence more confusing than the last; minutes negating months of research. The thick pages hardly provide a soft landing for your head as you allow it to thump forward in exasperation.
The scrap of chair legs alerts to a new presence watching your meltdown in real time.
“Something wrong?” Yoongi asks.
With a heavy sigh, you respond.“I want to die.”
“Get in line.”
Shifting in your seat, you peer in his direction. A different day but the same wardrobe: dark button up, glasses, same unapproachable facade. But what Yoongi is doing sitting next to you is new.
Yoongi makes himself comfortable, picking at his nails as he waits patiently for an explanation. 
“Everything in my thesis is either wrong or the world authority on fertility in Europe is full of it.”
“Bummer.”
“Your sincerity is overwhelming.” You snap.
Yoongi rolls his eyes. Boredom seeps across his face but he doesn’t move to leave, just sinks deeper into the chair. “You’ve read almost half the collection since you started coming here, why are some old dusty books such a big deal?”
“Because all of those books cite these books which means those books are wrong and all my work is in the toilet.”
“Those books are from the seventies, the information is probably out of date.”
Slamming the copy serving as a pillow shut, you take a second glance at the title: Encyclopedia of Women and World Religion, Volume 7.
“Yoongi,” you sing.
Yoongi’s gaze flashes to yours, a trickle of confusion flashing across his eyes.“What?”
You stack up the books and push them across the desk with some effort. Just to savor the satisfaction of besting Yoongi, you indulge a long sip of now cold coffee before speaking again. No one else is around to witness your victory but that won’t dampen the high.
“Looks like you’ll be back in the basement because you brought me the wrong editions.”
He opens his mouth to argue, snatching one of the books to investigate but you beat him to the punch.
“I asked for the twenty-fifth edition, not the seventh.” You smirk. “I think you're losing your touch.”
He watches you over the rim of the cover. A fleeting glance in your direction but it makes your heart squeeze with need.
“Well, I guess you’re right,” Yoongi sighs, standing. “Do you still need them for anything or can I go ahead and take them?”
With your approval, he heaves the heavy tombs on to his cart. The strain of his forearms, bare from rolled up sleeves, catches your attention. Veins raised under creamy skin, lean muscles leading down to hands you’ve noticed since the first day you started visiting the library.
If you keep staring, you’re likely to start drooling. So you dive back into one of the useful books littering your desk and pretend to read until he’s disappearing down the hall.
On your way out, leaving much earlier than a typical day due to Yoongi’s mistake, you drop the remaining books off at the circulation desk. Along with a copy of Avian Hunting Techniques. He’s absent again but it doesn't matter.
You continue out the doors and down the sidewalk only to spot him leaning against the brick exterior further down the street. Even from a distance you can make out the natural scowl he’s constantly sporting. Except this time his lips pout around a cigarette. 
Of course he smokes.
The quasi-mysterious librarian who flirts with you through book titles, smokes cigarettes and looks hot doing it. 
“You know those things will kill you, right?” 
“That’s what the box says but they aren’t holding up their end of the deal,” Yoongi responds, flicking the ash before looking at his watch. “Wow, out before six. I’ll alert the press.”
“Well, if someone gave me the right books then maybe I’d stay longer. But I’m not about to wait around while you get the ones I need.”
Yoongi takes another drag of his cigarette before responding, “Are you trying to say I forced you to take a break?”
The realization dawns on you. Yoongi is the senior research librarian. He’s never given you the wrong books, even when you request the rare copies needed to be loaned from a different part of the country. The few times you’ve offered understanding if he couldn’t get them were met with a challenge in his gaze and smug satisfaction when handing them over a week later.
“You brought me the wrong copies on purpose!”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He’s lying. You know it. Yoongi definitely knows you know by the way he smirks. But he’s already crushing the filter under his shoe and moving back towards the library by the time your brain catches up to your mouth.  “Have a good night, Y/N.”
With a scoff of indignation, you stalk towards your car.
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The next morning, you march straight through the class doors to where Yoongi sits, fueled by snowballed annoyance from the previous day. Waking up on the wrong side of the bed is an understatement. If there are any gods, Yoongi should pick one and pray.
Your free afternoon of yesterday was spent dealing with the chaos your apartment has become over the past few weeks. Unfolded laundry, stacks of random papers, out of place books, and errant dust bunnies all became new victims to energy usually reserved for a full day of research. Taehyung practically shit himself when he woke up before dinner and found you scrubbing the bathroom sink.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, hand to his chest like a flustered old woman.
Bleach curled in your nostrils. “I live here.” 
“Not between the hours of eight and seven.”
But after the mess was dealt with, aggravation set in. How dare Yoongi purposefully meddle in your work. Well meaning or not you were an adult and could decide when enough was enough. The purposeful mishap hadn’t set you back far, one afternoon but a drop in the bucket in comparison to the months you’ve already spent chasing new leads. But the principle of the matter is that it’s none of his business what you do and when you do it.
Yoongi slides a slimmer stack over when you stop in front of him.
“Encyclopedias are on your desk,” he announces through a sip of coffee. He continues to type away, feigning disinterest as you sort through your stack with measured annoyance.
“Are they the right copies this time?”
“Double checked them myself.”
You open your mouth to verbalize your doubts but Yoongi’s pick of the day catches your eye.
Surviving Your Stupid Stupid Decision to Go to Grad School.
Scoffing, you flip the book around and shoot daggers into his face with your eyes. “Do you think you’re funny?”
The corner of his mouth twitches then becomes a full blown smile. Leaning over the desk, he drops his voice, “I think I’m hilarious.”
Remembering you are, in fact, in a library, you manage to muffle a frustrated groan. You dump the supplementary reading back on the counter for Yoongi to deal with and head upstairs. 
Unlike the usual days where you put off finding a response to Yoongi’s extra copy until the waning hours of the afternoon, you drop your bags and head straight for the shelves. The fifth floor houses a collection of textbooks and other reference material. It’s why it's always deserted unless some poor fool stumbles on it by accident; the perfect place to work uninterrupted for hours.
You head down stairs, circling the fourth and then third floor like a shark in a feeding frenzy. A few covers spark interest but nothing captures what bubbles in your veins: annoyance, anger, confusion. A brief flutter of interest as to why Yoongi decided to mess with you but those feelings are more dangerous than the acidic ones.
Row after proves unfruitful in your quest for passive aggressive revenge. None have the same bite as his book, or seem to curb the homicidal thoughts raging in your head.
Until a little white book peeps back at you from the end of the aisle.
Yoongi jumps when you slam Bitter Is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass in front of him. A feat in and of itself to sneak up on him given the loan desk has a perfect view of the entire first floor but whatever he’d been clicking away at on the computer was distraction enough.
“What's this?”
“Thought you might like some new reading.” You flash your teeth.
His chin jerks towards the glossy cover. “I already gave this two stars on Goodreads.”
Of course he has.
Face prickling in embarrassment, you turn back the way you came without a word.
Hours later, when half the day has ticked by and the ache for more caffeine burns your eyes, Yoongi stops by your desk. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t try and gain the attention you pointedly withhold. He sets a paper coffee cup on the corner of the tabletop and leaves.
You snatch up the cup after he rounds the corner out of sight. The lack of sugar leaves much to be desired but free coffee is free coffee, especially to a PhD student with limited means. 
It isn’t much of an apology but guilt blooms down your spine anyway. He meant well. You aren’t known for giving yourself breaks; unable to quit while you’re ahead. A voluntary day off is less likely than winning the lottery. You’re a busy body and the constant work keeps you from dissolving into chaos.
You don’t see Yoongi again until every book at your desk is exhausted, begging for a break from your manhandling. Double and triple checking notes and citations are the poor excuse you implement to delay the inevitable. At some point you’ll have to go downstairs to face the music. 
He’s waiting like always, scanning the mountain of returns littering the counter from a long day. Each step closer withers something in your stomach. 
The copies in your hand shift onto the wooden surface, joining the stack for him to work through. Yoongi flashes a polite grimace when you catch his eye before immediately diving back into his work. Hopefully he understands why you chose Thank You for Smoking. And why you covered the second half of the title with a sticky note.
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Jungkook’s smiling face greets you bright and early. His name tag has been upgraded from flimsy paper to a plastic one and a printed label with his name. 
Handing over your library card, he quickly scans it and grabs the books meant for today’s dissection. 
“Yoongi wanted me to tell you that if you want more coffee while you’re working, you can go to the staff lounge on the second floor.”
“Oh.”
Jungkook continues sifting through your requests, making sure each is correct.  “Between you and me, the coffee down the street is better. But don’t tell him I said that.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s a coffee snob and thinks his shit—sorry—stuff is the best.”
“Okay,” you say, grabbing your pile. “Thanks.”
You set up your station like always, sorting through each book and devising a mental to do list. The desk resembles a feast but instead of food it’s encyclopedias, printed articles, and dusty manuscripts Yoongi wrangled from who knows where. On the outer board of your work station rests the feature of the day: How to Beg for Cigarettes.
A few hours pass between the pages. Your previous research is confirmed by the significantly less dusty encyclopedias this time, corroborating the basis of your thesis. A new work you haven’t seen is cited in the back, piquing your interest for more evidence. 
Instead of bothering one of the staff, you use the library website and find it in their catalog. It’s somewhere on the second floor where Yoongi offers free coffee. Two birds, one stone; a new book and a new cup of coffee.
The layout resembles all the other floors. A collection of study tables in the center crowded by bookshelves on all sides. One person, an undergrad by the look of pure dread on their features, occupies a table but that's it. Glancing at the note with the call number, you start towards the stacks on the left.
You find the correct area, eyes scanning up and down the different shelves to no avail. Hundreds of books, different sizes in an array of colors, flash by but none are the one you need. You’re about to call it quits when you spot it on the top shelf, just out of reach.
Call it a moment of stupidity, a brief blight of recklessness, but the book sits only a few inches beyond your fingers. You look around to make sure no one is around to witness the brilliantly flawed idea crest in your brain. With the coast clear, you hoist yourself up the shelf.
A deadpan voice nearly makes you fall.
“Looking for something?” 
Yoongi stands a few feet away, head cocked to the side. Of course he’d find you in such a ridiculous position. Even through the blur of your peripheral vision, the harsh lines of his usual uniform clashes against the back drop of books. Dark jeans fitted over his thighs, dark button down rolled up his arms, and a pair of glasses that make him look hot. But you’re in no position to dwell when the risk of falling on your ass is so high.
“Nope, just getting in some exercise” you grunt, moving your foot to the shallow hold of the next shelf.
Yoongi moseys up behind you before continuing. “And climbing a decades old bookshelf is how you stretch your legs?”
“You smoke cigarettes, I climb old furniture. We all have our vices.”
Your foot slips from its perch, making you squeak before catching your balance. 
“Alright spider-monkey, that's enough.” His hands slide across your hip, fingers curved around the softest part of your waist as he helps you down. 
Distracted by the weight of him still on your hip, the heat of his chest a scorching across your back, you don’t even think to disparage him for the cheap Twilight reference. The few inches Yoongi has on you allows him to reach overhead to snag the copy you need with ease. But as you watch his hands close around the spine everything beyond fades to black; like the universe pinholes where you two stand.
“This one?” You feel the vibration of his words up and down your spine, warm breath tracing across the shell of your ear.
Body on autopilot, you turn to face Yoongi. His mouth moves, eyes scanning the book cover but every word deafens in a muddy haze. He doesn’t seem to realize his hand is still on your waist, or how he crowds you into the shelves; chest to chest, stomachs barely an inch apart.
“Huh?” you ask, tearing your eyes away from his mouth.
“I said, if you asked for this book earlier I could have gotten it for you.”
“Oh.”
“You okay?” he asks, stepping further into you. “You look a little flushed.”
The bastard smiles. A God’s honest smile like his thigh isn’t between your own, or he isn’t waiting for a reply while his fingers dig in beneath your ribs.
Just when you open your mouth to say something, Yoongi silences you with a firm squeeze of his hand. His head lowers until his breath ghosts along your chin. 
Then you’re kissing; lips sliding together easily like he anticipated it. The world shatters all around from just a few passes of his mouth across your own, the weight of his body flattening you against the bookshelf. 
The first hint of his tongue against the seam of your lips makes you gasp and Yoongi takes the opportunity to taste you. You melt under his attention. Head tipping back, shoulders bowing to take more, your senses flood with the remnants of coffee and something else; something so quintessential Yoongi your head spins. It lights a new flame in your veins, one burning with pure want.
A handful of his shirt pulls him closer. Yoongi follows easily but gets more than asked for when one of your hands tangles in the back of his hair, tugging until he’s tilting his chin the way you want. It’s a bad habit other dates have subtly complained about but a noise bubbles in his throat at the dig of your nails; responding with his own palm squeezing roughly across your ass until your hips meet his. 
The crash of the book near your feet is like a bucket of ice water.
“Oh my god,” you gasp. Jumping back proves futile as the shelf digs further into your spine. “I–”
Puffy lips and lowered eyes stare back at you, clear evidence that you haven’t hallucinated what just happened. Yoongi dips down to kiss you again but you slither out of his grip.
Forgetting the book on the tiled floor, you mumble an apology and flee back upstairs, beelining to the vacant restroom.
To your own mortification, your features mirror Yoongi’s; lips swollen, eyes glazed. Your sweater twisted around your torso clearly betraying your rendezvous in the stacks. Beads of sweat cling to your forehead and neck.
A few splashes of cold water help clear the fog in your brain but as it dissipates embarrassment sets in. Making out with a handsome man is one thing. Making out with the librarian assisting in the most important work of your life is an entirely different ordeal; one that can only spell trouble.
Pacing back and forth, the cool paper towel on the back of your neck helps calm your racing heart enough to leave the safety of the ladies room.
Try as you might to drown under piles of books, it’s useless. You pretend to read the same passages over and over but none of the words register. The kiss replays over and over and over again. You kissed Yoongi. Yoongi kissed you back. He tried to kiss you again when you pulled away.
The end of the day inevitably comes which means you have to face him whether you want to or not. But you won’t allow a single lapse of judgment to affect your work; a moment of weakness propelled by months of abstinence that just so happened to coincide with a surly librarian’s entrance into your life. You just needed to get it out of your system. If it hadn’t been Yoongi it would have been someone else. 
At least that’s what you tell yourself.
A glance at your watch informs you that today is the second day you’ll leave the library early. Rather than give into the stubborn instinct to stay, you decide putting as much distance between yourself and Yoongi is far better for your mental health. With squared shoulders and a raised chin, you head downstairs. 
Yoongi’s waiting behind the counter. He isn’t typing on his computer or scanning books. He watches every step you take, arms crossed in front as he leans forward like he’s eager for a confrontation. 
“Yoongi,” you say.
“Y/N.”
You use every fiber of will to maintain eye contact as you pass your stack over the counter. “I’ll need these same ones tomorrow.”
“Okay.” He nods. “And the kiss?”
“What kiss?” you croak.
Yoongi’s eyes blaze like you’re a new puzzle to be solved, like he wants to take you apart and find exactly what makes you tick. You feel naked. “The one where you—”
“Must have been someone else. Sorry. Have a good night!” You rush for the door before he can say another word.
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Another morning is another day in the library, but this time your roommate begs to tag along. 
“Look, I’m not getting anything done on my thesis so maybe you’ll rub off on me,” Taehyung says.
Rolling your eyes, you step through the door he holds open. “I think you’ve had plenty of people rub off on you.”
Gasping with fake indignation, he catches up easily. “Are you calling me a slut?” 
“Yes.”
“Good, I wanted to make sure we were on the same page. Is that him?”
Yoongi and Jungkook are talking behind the counter. Jungkook’s hands wave wildly as he recounts whatever information to his boss while Yoongi listens with fake interest. Or that's what someone else might think. The subtle signs he cares are hidden in the details; the miniscule lift of shoulders, a cock of his head, and when Jungkook pouts in a way too ridiculous for a man his size, Yoongi hides a smile in the shake of his head.
“Yes.”
“And I’m the slut?” Taehyung scowls as you pinch his shoulder. “What? He’s a nerd’s walking wet dream.” 
“And he can hear you, so shut up.”
“Morning!” Jungkook calls on his way past with a cart full of books. 
He grins like he knows exactly what happened on the second floor yesterday but that can’t be true. Yoongi doesn’t seem like the type to kiss and tell. Only the type to kiss and tease you relentlessly for it when no one else is around to hear.
Taehyung’s attention immediately locks on him. You love your roommate, always have and, unfortunately, always will; but he is a slut and Jungkook is definitely his type. However, he’s on your turf and knows better than to fuck where you have to eat for the next few months. 
“Y/N, Y/N’s friend,” Yoongi says when you approach his desk. 
“Taehyung.” 
“Right,” Yoongi drawls, blinking lazily before sliding your books over and turning around to sort something on the opposite counter.
Taehyung, ever the gentleman, grabs the pile for you and follows upstairs. 
“Well he seems like a cup of sunshine,” Taehyung whispers. 
“Just because he isn’t fawning over you doesn’t mean he’s an asshole.”
“I’m very fawn-able, ask anyone,” your roommate argues as you approach the fifth floor. “Wait, what's this… How to Defeat Your Own Clone and Other Tips for Surviving the Biotech Revolution. This is the type of shit he’s giving you? You’re easier than I am.”
“Give me that.” You snatch the paperback out of his grip. “Stop being nosy.”
Taehyung lets you work in peace after that, disappearing to gather more of his own materials. Even in undergrad he’d never been one to sit still for long. But he still managed to get a spot doing an engineering thesis despite the constant changes in his attention.
After several hours of mind numbing typing you need a break, and another cup of coffee on someone else’s dime sounds perfect.
“I’m getting coffee.”
“Bring me some,” Taehyung says without looking up from his screen.
The staff lounge is nothing fancy. A couple small tables with plastic chairs tucked around, a cork board covered with fliers, and a white board stuck to the fridge scrawled upon with black dry erase marker. The coffee pot sits full in the machine, still hot to the touch. 
You pour two cups. Taehyung’s gets loaded with creamer cups until it’s closer to white than black while yours is sweetened to sickening perfection. When you try to take a sip, the liquid immediately burns your tongue. Too hot coffee is better than cold coffee but an ice cube would help make it more palatable.
Moving back to the fridge, you go to open the freeze but stop when the white board catches your attention again.
Most notes are chores or friendly reminders about time cards but almost half the board is dedicated to a back and forth.
‘Unofficial Employee of the Month: Jungkook’ 
A note in Yoongi’s tight script: ‘You don’t work here.’
‘That’s why it's unofficial!’ in what must be Jungkook’s messy handwriting.
‘You’re my official employee of the month. - Namjoon’
At the bottom is a crude drawing of stick figures, two tall smiling ones holding hands under a rainbow labeled ‘JK’ and ‘Joon’ and a comically shorter one with evil eyebrows surrounded by storm clouds and ‘yoongi :(’ overhead.
“Snooping for secrets?”
“Jesus Christ,” you jump, turning to face Yoongi. “Has anyone ever told you it’s rude to sneak up on people?”
“You’re in the staff lounge, there’s gonna be staff here.” Yoongi crosses to the coffee pot on the counter and pours himself a cup. He doesn’t add cream or sugar or anything else to lessen the bitterness. Cliche. “So, was bringing your boyfriend here your subtle way of letting me down?”
“You think Taehyung is my boyfriend?” You whirl around in shock. Yoongi raises a brow, prompting you to continue. “Jungkook is more his type than I am.”
Yoongi releases a pleased hum, eyes shining. “So no boyfriend then?”
“Nope.”
You’re shaking but don’t look away from his hungry gaze. Yoongi takes a step closer, and another and one more until you're pinned to the countertop and his mouth is on yours. 
This time, you're more aware of everything. The smell of his cologne, the tickle of his bangs along your forehead, all the tiny details that were muffled before. Yoongi’s lips are firm against your own, a little chapped but it only makes you hotter with each pass.
His mouth is everywhere; your chin, your jaw, peppering down your throat until he pushes aside the hem of your shirt and sets to work on the jut of your collarbone like he’ll never get a chance again. 
“Yoongi,” you hum on the first rake of teeth. 
He takes it as an invitation to dig in harder, sucking the skin until your spine threatens to break and you say his name again. Desperate for some kind of anchor, you knot your fingers back in his hair and pull. 
A throaty noise responds and the need to hear more rears its head. Yoongi who always watches with measured fascination undone by some light petting. The power is addictive. 
Legs spread, he presses in flat. The heat of his cock, rigid beneath the fabric of his jeans, teases across the seam of your own. You're technically still in public but the consequences concern you less than the knowledge that you’ll go mad if you don’t feel him. His arms circle your back, pulling you firmer against him, right to the edge of the linoleum counter.
Wedging a hand between your bodies, you manage to get his zipper undone while your tongue traces along his jaw. Yoongi angles his hips to help, curling into your palm when you cup him over the fabric of his boxers. Every press has him swelling harder. 
His hands reach under your shirt. Skin on skin, the rough calluses of his fingers trace your ribs, thumbs following the cup of your bra in a tease. It’s a simple touch but your own hands falter when he brushes a nipple. You melt into each other.
“Hey, Yoongi, do you know where—HOLY SHIT!”
Jungkook stops at the door, eyes wide, mouth wider. 
“Get out!” Yoongi barks. He’s trying his best to keep your body covered from the younger man’s view but even if Jungkook isn’t getting a full frontal he isn’t dumb enough not to realize what’s going on.
Yoongi shudders a few breaths. Head hung low, he tucks himself back into his pants without moving away. You’re already slipping down from your perch when he looks back up.
“I’m just gonna…go,” you mumble, scurrying out the door.
Jungkook waits outside, eyes still bugging out of his head but at least has the decency to pretend he didn’t catch you in the act.
Tugging your shirt down, you avoid his gaze. How far would you have let Yoongi go if Jungkook hadn’t interrupted? 
“Coffee?” Taehyung asks as you approach the table.
You know what you look like without a mirror. The same as yesterday with glassy eyes and bruised lips, clothes wrinkled. Thankfully, Taehyung is more interested in his modeling software than where you’ve been. 
“They were out.” 
With a sigh like he is personally victimized by the lack of caffeine, Taehyung collapses on the table and plays dead. But he perks up at the sound of footsteps approaching behind you.
“You left this in the break room,” Yoongi says, dropping a cup of coffee by your side before disappearing. 
You turn to follow his retreating for until he’s hidden back between the shelves. The back of his hair is still messy despite his attempt to fix it, same with the wrinkles in his shirt from your hands.
“I thought they were out?” Taehyung eyes you suspiciously when you look back at him.
Cradling the still hot cup in your hands, you avoid his gaze. “Shut up.”
“So you do have to sleep with someone to get a cup of coffee.” 
“I’m not sleeping with him,” you spit in a harsh whisper.
“Why not?”
“Because…”
Because what exactly? There isn’t a good reason other than the fact Jungkook was the king of cockblocks. You would have let Yoongi do just about anything he wanted and he seemed to be in agreement. But you’d rather die than admit that out loud.
“You are so smart and so incredibly stupid.” Taehyung rolls his eyes, rising to pack his things. “I need to pee.”
You point him in the direction of the bathrooms and get back to work.
When Taehyung returns minutes later he starts shoving his things in his bag. “I’m leaving.”
“Why?”
“This is like the epicenter of hot smart men and I refuse to suffer any longer.”
“You got Jungkook’s number,” you deadpan.
Taehyung can’t hide his own shit eating grin. “Yoongi gave it to me.”
“If you’re leaving, so am I.”
“Why?” your roommate whines. 
“Because I got you a hot date and that means you owe me dinner.”
“Technically it was Yoongi but I’ll concede.” Taehyung heaves his bag up. “Come now my dearest, we can still get happy hour if we hurry.” 
You reach in your own bag and toss him your keys. “Go wait in the car. I’ve gotta go grab another book real quick.”
“Whatever,” Taehyung says, mumbling something like ‘nerds’ under his breath as he heads downstairs.
You find Yoongi while on your way to his desk, already toting around the cart piled high with returns from the day. Several of the covers are Taehyung’s picks and somehow the knowledge they’ve spoken almost knocks you off kilter. Taehyung is a good wingman and that’s what worries you most.
“Hi,” he says, kneeling to put a book on a low shelf.
It shouldn’t have the effect it does but something about the way Yoongi looks up at you, on his knees, head tipped back, has your mind running wild with the image of him in the same position with both of you wearing far less clothing. Maybe if you weren’t interrupted in the staff lounge you’d have seen it in real life.
“Hi. Mind if I add these to the pile?” 
“Go ahead.”
The Stocking was Hung sits on top. You don’t wait around to see his reaction.
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The temperature had steadily been increasing over the past weeks but this morning is the worst of all. That inescapable warmth fully seeded overnight and promised the comforting days of sweaters and pants are long gone.
Heat makes you lazy and fitful. In the early hours, long before you actually need to be awake, you stare up at the ceiling of your room. Not even a frigid shower helped the stickiness of your skin or laying still in your bed in nothing but one of Taehyung’s shirts and ratty shorts. It followed you everywhere until you left for the same brick building you spend more time at than at home.
Without thought, you throw on the first seasonally appropriate outfit in your closet; a thin dress that covers enough for the public but promises to keep you cool.
Yoongi seems to be taking the change in weather as well as you are. His usual attire is absent, nothing but a white shirt clinging to his torso. The pale skin of his forearms briefly catches your attention but you focus anywhere else to stop from rounding the desk and finishing what started upstairs.
You steel yourself and approach the desk, determined to act normal.
Familiar dark eyes flash up to greet you but Yoongi’s mouth doesn’t form any words. He just stares at you. You can feel the weight of his gaze on your shoulders, your neck, and then he pointedly keeps them trained on your eyes. Like he's willing to pretend yesterday didn’t happen. 
He doesn’t speak when he passes over the same pile of books as yesterday but you can feel him burn a hole in your back. Even after you climb up the stairs and out of sight, the prickling sensation you’re being watched follows.
You don’t get anything done. The words on the page might as well be another language as your mind races.
Yoongi didn’t give you an extra book today.
An endless list of potential explanations race through your mind. Maybe you’d been too forward with your choice. Maybe he’s gotten it out of his system, a quick tryst in the employee lounge enough to satiate his curiosity. Maybe because it’s the second time you’ve brushed him off. Even if it wasn’t your fault Jungkook stumbled in before anything worthwhile could happen. 
But he isn’t speaking to you and he isn’t giving you the random book you’ve come to look forward to every morning. 
Channeling the restless energy of overthinking, you take a lap around the floor. You pause to flip through random books as you zigzag through the stacks. Anything to take your mind off the unshakable tension sticking in the air like syrup.
Your laptop is in sleep mode by the time you reluctantly come back. Everything is as you left except a book you’ve never seen before sits on top of the open one you’d been reading.
There’s a Boy in the Girls’ Bathroom. 
A sticky note sticks up from the inside of the cover. A bolt of excitement shoots down your spine. When you flip it open a familiar handwriting stares back: ‘on the seventh floor’.
You hadn’t been gone too long but the fear of making him wait has you rushing up the stairs. Each step brings you closer to where he waits until you’re opening the bathroom door.
“Yoongi?” 
A hand wraps around your upper arm, yanking you in. Another hand silences a surprised shout before you realize it’s Yoongi and not a murderer pinning you to the interior of the door you just came through.
“Jesus, you scared me.” 
“Sorry,” he breathes. “It’s just not a good look for me to be up here.”
“Oh, really?” You smile. “And why is that?”
“This is my job.”
“Didn’t seem to stop you before.”
“Who says it’s stopping me now?”
He thumbs the strap of your dress, hooking under the thin material and dragging it down your arm. The heat and weight of Yoongi against you, touching you so simply, makes you vibrate. Yoongi moves into your neck, panting with a grind against your thigh. “I swear I don’t usually do this.”
You want to argue that you have two accounts that he does do this often, at least with you. But for someone who says they don’t, Yoongi is surprisingly natural. The tease prickling the end of your tongue fizzles out under his teeth across the curve of your shoulder, goosebumps blossoming along your back. 
A whimper unbecoming of an adult woman breaks the lullaby of summer air conditioner singing through the vents. You’re sweating under the cling of your dress, skin hot to the touch thanks to Yoongi’s attention; long fingers curved around your waist, thumbs skimming just under your breast.
“Could have fooled me.”
“This is a very nice dress.” His mouth bites down your neck, taking advantage of the new strips of skin the neckline unveils.
“That’s all it takes?” you pant from the wet of his tongue. “A pretty dress?”
“If you think,” he whispers into your ear. “I’m doing this because of your dress then you really haven’t been paying attention.”
The dark locks of his hair are too alluring to resist, tempting one of your own hands to scratch against the tip of his spine when Yoongi rolls against you again. A firm tug brings him to your mouth, lips molding to one another in a searing kiss. You can taste the coffee from the lounge and the faintest hint of cigarette smoke, like he thought to hide it before asking you to follow him.
“How long? How long have you wanted this?”
Yoongi hooks one of your thighs higher, savoring the heat of your core against the crotch of his pants with a slow thrust. “Since you came in and busted my balls over not having that archived manuscript when the website said we did.”
You remember that day. Patience thin from Taehyung’s loud overnight guest, you stormed into the library looking to take it out on a photocopy of the manuscript only for the only copy to be AWOL. Yoongi became the surrogate for your rage, his eyes burning into your skull as questioned how he could let it happen.
The next day was when he started adding books to your stack.
“That was months ago.”
“I’m a patient guy.”
You want him naked; ache to catalog what he’s hidden underneath bulky sweaters and loose button ups over the past few months. But that idea has to wait for somewhere less risky. You settle for dipping your hand under his shirt, tracing your fingers over the elastic of his boxers peeking from the waistband of his pants.
Attempting to hide the effect he has, you loop your fingers in his belt loops and pull him even closer so your face is hidden in the crook of his neck. “There’s a Boy in the Girls’ Bathroom? A little on the nose, don’t you think?”
“Like The Stocking was Hung is any better?” Yoongi sighs as your mouth ghosts over the rising vein webbing the side of his throat.
“Hey!” you object, rising to face him. “I thought you’d appreciate it after that mothman book.”
“I appreciate you complimenting my dick plenty.”
Yoongi doesn’t let you go, hands palming at the swell of your ass the entire way from the door to the counter. He’s got one hand curved along your jaw, thumb hooked around your chin and his teeth bruising your lower lip. The edge of granite digs in your spine but not for long as he lifts you and settles on his knees to dive under your skirt. 
He kisses up your calf, tongue snaking across the knob of your knee then the plush of your thigh. Just when you feel a puff of breath against the damp crotch of your panties, Yoongi falls to repeat the same path against your other leg. 
You don’t suffer for long. Pooling the excess fabric around your waist, Yoongi blinks up from between your thighs. The pink of his tongue follows the edge of your panties, wetting the fabric more until it clings obscenely. 
He pushes his glasses up to rest on the top of his head, keeping the mess of gray and black hair out of his eyes before diving back down.
His tongue lathers over your covered slit with a groan. “Taste better than I imagined.”
“You thought about this?”
“Couldn’t stop thinking about it. On my desk, yours, against that fucking bookshelf.” Yoongi punctures each word with more wet kisses against your core. “In my car, my bed. Everywhere.”
A cool breath has your thighs squeezing around his head thanks to the erotic combination of his spit and your own fluids drenching your panties. “Is this all you think about?”
“I had to come up here and jerk off yesterday because I couldn’t stop thinking about your hands.”
Your panties are pulled to the side before you can indulge in the new visual blooming on the edge of consciousness. “Yoongi.”
Eyes closed, his mouth circles your clit, tongue gently stroking you to life. Every pass against the sensitive bundle of nerves has your thighs squeezing around his head. 
The first prod of fingers makes Yoongi’s hold on the crook of your knee tighten. He stretches you back open, eyes following the way you suck him inside; coating his spindly digits with more arousal each time.
“A-ah,” you shake. “Please.”
Yoongi chances a glance up at your face, the needy sheen in your eyes, the way your mouth gapes, and decides to take mercy. 
He latches back onto your clit. Yoongi groans as you tug his hair, knocking his glasses to the ground. The pace he works your remains lethargic, savoring the kick of your hips until you grind against his mouth. 
Throaty groans vibrate against your cunt, tightening the muscles along the inside of your thighs. Neither of you are doing a good job muffling yourselves but if it’s between getting caught and having him stop then you’ll deal with the consequences when they come.
“Oh, Yoongi.” Your chest pulls tight; spurred on by the sounds of Yoongi bullying your insides, his mouth smacking against your folds. “I’m— oh, oh, oh!”
The rough crook of his fingers sends you flying. Only the pressure of his shoulders keep you from slipping off the counter as you explode against his mouth. Euphoria rushes your veins, licks of pleasure overwhelming. Every muscle quivers as Yoongi works you through until you use his hair to pull him away.
He’s quick on his feet. You’re still recovering as Yoongi pushes your bra down and draws one of your nipples into his mouth, licking and sucking until you pull his hair again. Eyes cinched tight, face wet, you force his pants open then his underwear until Yoongi is almost as exposed as you are; pretty in your palm, sticky and hot to the touch.
But it’s not enough to feel him in your hand, you need to feel him inside. To fill you up where you sit hollow and aching without his fingers to provide a sliver of relief. “Fuck me.”
Yoongi doesn’t tease, has no quip about how needy you are. He keeps his mouth on your chest and uses his hands to grab something out of his pocket. It happens so fast you don’t even realize the condom is on until he nudges between your legs.
Your nails dig into his back, breathing through the initial stretch is the only way you stay quiet. Yoongi hides himself back in your neck, strained noises clawing out of his throat.
Yoongi isn’t gentle. Not caution or waiting. Months of push and pull destroy any desire for him to treat you as something fragile. He rushes into desperately, forcing your palm flat against the mirror behind you for some semblance of stability.
“God,” he grunts. “You’re incredible.”
You whimper a quiet acknowledgement, too fucked out to blush under his praise; pulling Yoongi closer until he’s scooping his hands underneath your ass, thrusting into you over and over. His mouth finds yours. Greedy. Hungry. 
It’s Yoongi who struggles to stay quiet. Even through the kiss he moans loud enough you feel it in your throat. You listen to them all, twisting the hand knotted in his hair to hear the whine you’ve quickly become obsessed with.
“Should have done this sooner,” your back arches and Yoongi’s mouth slips back down. 
“I tried. But you kept ignoring me.”
“I wasn’t—fuck—ignoring you.” Yoongi is everywhere. His taste on your mouth, cologne burned in your nose. The feel of him all over your body. “Shit.”
He fucks you harder to prove a point, hand slipping down to rub your clit. Your second orgasm glows on the edges. If Yoongi keeps playing with you, stretching you in half on his cock and biting a mark into your breast, you know you’ll come.
You focus on breathing. Letting it come to you instead of chasing it, overthinking it to the point it evades you. It’s easier than usual. Yoongi doesn't leave room for anything else beyond feeling good. 
“Oh my god,” you whisper as the cord tightens. 
Everything turns white hot, pleasure tearing through your muscles and ripping them to shreds. You convulse in Yoongi’s hold, only pinned down by his hips fucking you brutally. Nerves shot, Yoongi babbles praise in your ear but it's indecipherable from the headrush.
Yoongi follows you over the edge a few strokes later, twitching inside you until he stills. His hips give a few arrhythmic bucks as he fills the condom with his load. 
There's something nastier about clothed sex. The way sweat makes your clothes cling tighter, the rush of needing each other so badly you can’t be bothered to do more than pull things to the side. 
You feel dirty but in a good way. Yoongi kisses across the apples of your cheeks, your chin, your forehead, even your brows, but never returns to your lips. Each leaves you more frustrated than the last, muscles twitching beneath and head turning at the last second to try and meet his mouth. 
Tricking you with a brief connection, he laughs when you chase his lips as he dodgers back. But a pout and whine bring him back into your orbit.
He cleans you up with paper towels, wiping away the mess between your thighs with something akin to disappointment. But he doesn’t complain as he fixes your clothes and then his own. Muscles like jelly, you fall into his side when he helps you down from the counter. 
With a kiss to your temple, “Let's get out of here.”
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“Morning, Yoongi.” You smile as you walk up to his desk.
A set of dark eyes rise to greet you, taking the cup of coffee you so graciously offer before smiling as well. “Good morning.”
Jungkook gawks like he’s never seen you two speak before. Round eyes bounce between you and Yoongi as if it’s a tennis match instead of a normal conversation. Probably because Yoongi was less than subtle when he pulled you out of the building yesterday, telling him to call Namjoon if anything came up.
Or maybe because you’re wearing one of Yoongi’s shirts.
You discovered much about the mysterious librarian overnight. He’d taken you back to his apartment; a perfect extension of himself decorated with dark furniture and more books than anyone could possibly read. Yoongi owned a collection of vinyl records that rivaled his book collection, he was a great cook, and he was studying to take the entrance exam for law school. 
After you were wined and dined, Yoongi dedicated hours between your legs. On his couch, against the massive bookcase in his living room, between the sheets of his bed. 
He also had a kink for eating you out while you explained your thesis in precise detail.
You’d only been allowed to leave when Yoongi was getting ready for work, not that you'd put up much argument. 
You make a scene of sorting through the stack he slides over. It’s not that you don’t trust Yoongi. But now that you’ve had a taste, you’re addicted to his presence. But he unfortunately can’t follow you upstairs so you savor the time now. 
“One of my books is missing,” you say.
“Oh, right.”
Yoongi passes over an unfamiliar copy.
Maybe He Just Likes You
And the blue sticky note attached, with his handwriting. ‘Dinner when you're done?’
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bimbobaggins69 · 4 months
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𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩’𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙨𝙮?
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𝙛𝙧𝙖𝙩 𝙗𝙤𝙮𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝙭 𝙛𝙚𝙢 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧
𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: when your new boyfriend Steve accidentally stumbles upon your hidden diary filled with your biggest secrets and darkest fantasies, he asks his fraternity brother Eddie; a drug dealing metalhead to help him fulfill your biggest one.
𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: smut ahead, 18+ mdni, past fwb steddie, 90s au, fuck boy eddie, slight hurt/comfort, sexual tension, accidental outing (I swear he means good), oral (m receiving), throat fucking, dirty talk, unprotected p in a (m receiving), anal play (f receiving), unprotected p in v & dp in v, boy on boy action, dom eddie, filth filth filth, fluffs, longing.
𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚: just an idea that’s been rotting away in my brain that I had to write down… as always thank you to my beautiful girlfriend @xxhellfirebunnyxx and the babes @take-everything-you-can & @livosssblog for beta reading.
𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 7.4k
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Date night with your new boyfriend Steve has turned into a regular weekend thing, although you had your eye on the pretty, brown haired boy all semester long, you had officially met three and half weeks ago while you were working your waitressing job at the on campus diner. He asked for your number and the two of you have been inseparable since.   
“Hey Steve, can you go grab my purse off of my desk in my room, please? I’m gonna use the restroom and then we can go.” You ask, making your way into the hallway of your apartment, you close the door to the bathroom behind you softly before going about your business. 
The brown haired boy in question walks into your bedroom and grabs your black leather bag off of your desk but before he turns to walk away, something hits his nike sneaker and bounces off, hitting the floor with a light thud.
“Shit.” Steve huffs under his breath as he bends down to retrieve the aforementioned object; it's a journal or maybe a diary? It’s splayed out on the floor, open to the very last page. Steve tries his best not to look, he doesn't want to snoop. He really, really likes you and doesn't want to give any reasons for you not to trust him so early on; but when his hazel eyes catch a glimpse of the words: “Deepest Darkest Fantasies” written in bold black lettering on the very top of the page, he can't help but to continue scanning over the rest. Words like “threesome”, “double penetration” and “guy on guy action” pique his interests. He’s no prude and has definitely had his share of gay action with a few of his fraternity brothers, one specifically that he had an ongoing friends with benefits situation with, so he’s not put off by it. What he is, is surprised, almost shocked that you would be into something like that. Most girls he met weren’t and would cut a date short if you even so much as mentioned the word bisexual in their presence. 
He hears the bathroom door click open, so he quickly closes the diary and places it back onto your desk before grabbing your bag and booking it out into the living room where he sits on a bar stool, doing his best to look as if he’d been waiting for you the whole five or so minutes. 
“You ready to go?” You ask with an excited smile that Steve just wants to kiss off of you, he already thought you were his perfect dream girl but something about what he found in your diary made him that much more attracted to you; perhaps it was the feeling of someone finally accepting every part of him. 
After a nice dinner date at your favorite sushi spot and one too many saki bombers later, you're both stumbling into your apartment, heated lips clashing together like they were set off by some sort of magnetic force. Deep, passionate kisses shared between you, as if they were going out of style. Hands roaming over each other's bodies before finding their permanent spot in the other's soft tresses.
“Need you so fucking bad, baby.” Steve whispers to you through tender kisses.
“Mmm, take me to my room, big boy.” You’re finally able to huff out as his lips move in a sloppy motion, down your neck. 
The chosen pet name makes Steve tense, the kisses he was just placing on your collar bone come to an immediate halt.
“Everything okay?” You ask as you gently scratch at his scalp with your long fingernails, making him shudder and groan with delight. 
“No, yeah everythings fine.” He scoops you up into his arms, carrying you to your bedroom and tossing you onto your bed. The stuff he saw in your diary, plus the mention of the nickname his fraternity brother/ex friends with benefits calls him, kind of set his brain on fire with thoughts of the three of you together. 
Things didn't work out with Eddie in the way Steve had first wanted them to, he was very much into partying and sleeping around whereas Steve had dreams of settling down; he had his party and meaningless sex phase for most of high school, it was no longer fun for him and when he voiced that to Eddie, the metalhead laughed and said he didn't think he’d ever settle down, which was a silent blow to Steve’s heart. He has since gotten over it and moved on all while staying friends and being roommates, but that other part of his brain was enticed at the idea of having both of you at the same time. Maybe he’d have to introduce you to Eddie and let it go from there, let you choose whether you’d want them to be the ones to make that fantasy come true.
Steve loses his train of thought when you start to remove your clothes, then he's on you again; kissing you with an intense passion that almost knocks the air from your lungs. 
“God, im gonna fuck you so good.”  
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“Come on Eddie, It’s a goddamn threesome! When have you ever turned one of those down, huh?” Steve deplores as he paces in front of his half naked roommate who’s sat comfortably in a slouched position with his head thrown back onto a saggy, discolored couch cushion.
“I'm sure I've turned one or two down in my day.” Eddie says with a smirk as his eyes follow the honey eyed boy, whose red sox cap sits backwards over that perfect quiff of brown hair.   
“Oh please, you fucked those twin sisters last month and had no moral fucking compass then.” Steve quips, exhaling the built up of irritation out through his nose.
“Well, that was just fun. Believe it or not Harrington, twins are a very niche kink and I won't sit here and listen to you kink shame me, kay?” The smirk on Eddie’s face grows to full capacity when Steve throws him a pissed off look as his hands fall to his hips, in his signature Steve stance.
“C’mon, at least meet her first before you make an indefinite decision, Eds.” Steve says while pulling out the big guns; the nickname mixed with a bat of his long lashes has his roommate instantly folding, though not without contempt.
“Fine, I’ll meet your little girlfriend and decide whether I wanna fuck her or not.” Eddie huffs out as if he’s doing Steve some big nuanced favor. “Now move, you're blocking the Tv.” The metalhead declares as he tosses an overstuffed throw pillow at the former jock. 
“You’re not fucking her, we’re fucking her!” Steve shouts as he smacks the pillow out of his face, letting it plop to the floor before he turns around and makes his way to his bedroom to think of the best way to bring this up to you without having to reveal that he accidentally read your diary. 
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“So, we’re meeting your friend here?” You ask your boyfriend as he opens the door to the sports bar for you before ushering you inside with a light slap to your ass.  
“Mhm, my good friend and roommate, Eddie. He’ll be here soon.” Steve hoped he wasn’t being too obvious, although he did doubt you’d catch on without any significant reason to. His nerves were getting the best of him and he felt guilty for doing this behind your back, maybe he should talk to you about this first? But, he figured you could still just meet Eddie on a friendly basis without the added pressure of possibly choosing him to be a third.
Once the hostess sits you down at your table, an unfamiliar head of fluffy waves comes bounding through the crowd, his eyes scanning the restaurant before falling on Steve, who immediately stands up and waves a hand above his head, making Eddie roll his eyes at Steve’s dramatic gesture. 
“Sup Harrington,” The metalhead greets before his eyes fall to you, sitting meekly with your hands in your lap and a nervous, tight smile on your face. Eddie couldn't be bothered to take his eyes off of you. He was stunned and it wasn't because he didn't think Steve could pull such a beautiful girl. No, obviously king steve could get whoever he wanted, this was because he too found you unbelievably beautiful and something that Eddie learned early on in his friendship with Steve was that they did not have the same taste in women which is why they never tried for a threesome before, but you oh your were the exception.     
After the drinks were flowing through everyone’s veins and the pizza and wings had been devoured, conversation started out light-hearted with lots of banter between the boys. It was clear they were very good friends; how good was still up for debate but you could clearly see that they cared for each other which warmed your heart because Steve deserves all the love in the world. You had never met anyone like him and were grateful he essentially fell into your lap or more so came into your diner and asked for your number.
“So, what other fantasies were in this diary?” Eddie smirks as he looks between you and Steve with a playful, mischievous look in his eyes. 
“I’m sorry?” You ask, confused about the question but your heart drops when you see Steve shut his eyes and bow his head as if Eddie just divulged a big secret and by his reaction you were pretty sure he did. 
“Oh, was I- did she not- fuck.” Eddie’s shoulders slump and his smile fades as he looks at you and Steve with regretful eyes. 
“You read my diary?” You ask, turning towards Steve as your voice tumbles out so sullen and soft, making both of their hearts ache. 
“I’m-I’m sorry baby, I was gonna tell-” he begins before he’s being cut off by a now pissed off version of you. 
“Wait, so this wasn’t me just meeting one of your friends because you genuinely wanted me to, this is because of the things I wrote in my diary? What, were you trying to set up some kind of threesome?” You scoff as both boys look down into their laps, you can feel the shame rolling off their backs and you couldn’t help the betrayal you felt. 
“I’m gonna go, I need some time to think.” You say abruptly standing from the booth, but before you could take a step, they’re both stopping you.
“No, baby just let me take you home.” 
“I can drive you home, princess.” 
They say in unison, and as much as you wanted to stay and possibly entertain this thought of having a threesome, your humiliation wins over and you just need to get as far away from the both of them as possible. 
“I’m fine, I’ll talk to you later.” You snap before making your way out of the restaurant, but instead of calling for a taxi like you probably should have, you impulsively decide to begin your three mile walk of shame back home. 
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You’ve been stewing in your own feelings of treachery for two days, and although you're still upset; thoughts of the frizzy haired metalhead haven’t left your mind. If it came down to really having this fantasy you have laid awake many nights thinking about, fulfilled; would you really want it to be with him, or more importantly them? The burning in your lower belly and the need to snap your legs together, gave that answer away fairly quickly. 
As you settle onto your couch with your favorite spicy book in hand, the shrill ring of your house phone has you up within seconds. Your heart begins to beat frantically out of your chest at the thought of it being Steve on the other end, you weren’t sure if you were ready to forgive this whole mishap quite yet, even if you haven't stopped daydreaming about it.
“Hello?” Your voice comes out groggy, having not used it for hours as you’ve been cooped up in your apartment, feeling sorry for yourself about something that you were now questioning was as bad as you’ve made it seem. 
“Hey.” The voice that comes out over the crackle of the phone speaker isn't Steves but it is familiar to you in the sense that you’d just heard it not even three days ago.
“Eddie?” You question with disbelief. 
“Aw, you remembered princess.” You can hear his smug smirk through the red plastic you are now white knuckling.
“What’s up Eddie? Is Steve okay?” You ask, trying to politely move the conversation along. 
“I mean he hasn’t eaten for two days and has been sulking in his room if that's what you're wondering.” The new information pulls at your heart strings, you truly didn't think Steve would be too sad over your decision for space; and although what he did wasn't entirely okay, you still wanted nothing more than to run and comfort him. 
Eddie takes your silence as an excuse to keep going, “Um, well I was just calling to see if maybe I could come by and talk to you, please?” He breathes heavily into the speaker making you cringe at the loud crackle, you can hear the desperation to fix things in the tone of his voice. 
“Yeah sure, we can talk.”
It takes Eddie 20 minutes to get to your apartment after you'd given him your address and safe wishes, which seemed to have taken him by surprise. What was the big deal with telling someone to ‘be safe’?
The knock at your door has your palms clammy, you couldn't deny the idea of seeing Eddie and being alone with him, made you nervous. 
Maybe you weren’t as innocent in this as you thought. 
“There she is.” The smile that graces the long haired boy’s face along with the rasp in his voice instantly has goosebumps spreading over your heated skin. 
“Hi, um c-come in.” You stutter, moving from the doorway, your hand gripped tight on the doorknob in order to close it behind him. 
“Nice place.” He says while his eyes roam over the living room, the wide smile never leaves his face until his chocolate orbs find yours. 
“Thanks.” You give him a half smile before you're sitting back down on your couch. You bring your slouch sock clad feet up and tuck them underneath you, protectively as if some kind of defense mechanism. Eddie can’t help but think you’re the cutest fucking thing he’s ever seen.
“Sit. So what did you wanna talk about?” Your voice slightly trembles as you motion for the metalhead to sit down in the spot beside you. 
“I came here to tell you that Stevie means well, he really would never do anything to hurt you. I swear. I’ve never seen him so upset over someone.” Eddie’s words come out in a jumbled panic as if he’s anxiously trying to get you to see things from another perspective, and before you can get a word in edgewise, he’s continuing. “He just thought it’d be a good idea since me and him used to bang, so I'm familiar, ya know? And he really wanted to make this ‘fantasy’ come true for you.” The way he so casually drops the bomb that him and Steve used to fuck, causes your eyes to grow as wide as saucers.
“Oh fuck! Did you not know that either? Jesus Christ nobody tells me anything, I-Im just gonna shut the fuck up.” He huffs a nervous laugh before running his hands through his brown waves that sit tousled down his mid back.
You wanted to scoff and say yeah, same. But decided against it once you caught a glimpse of his big glassy doe eyes.
“I’m sorry, I just thought because he came to me with the threesome thing and the shit about you watching us fuck around, I-I guess i just thought you had to at least know. I’m- fuck he’s gonna be so pissed at me if you break up with him over this.” Eddie's head falls into his hands before he begins to shake it out of pure disappointment in himself. 
“Hey, I'd never break up with someone over their sexual past.” You say before scooting closer to his body and wrapping your arms around his torso to comfort him, the action causes your face to snuggle in close to his leather jacket covered chest that smells like a mixture of musky cologne, weed and cigarette smoke.
“God, you're such a special girl, you know that? I can see why he likes you so much.” Eddie mutters as his hand rubs gently in an up and down motion on your back.
You can’t help but to snuggle in deeper, as his soft touch and low purr of his voice, now lulls you to absolute comfort. You had never felt so safe in any other man's arms other than Steve’s, and the revelations from that fact and the one of Eddie and Steve having already had sex, causes the flames to lick up throughout your body and you already know the answer to whether you want them to be the ones to provide you with this fantasy. 
“I wanna do it.” You say without much thought, the words are slightly muffled by Eddie’s jacket but he hears you loud and clear. His eyes widen in surprise as you look up at his face from where your head sits shyly hidden in his chest. Fuck, you were really doing things to him. 
“Wanna do what, sweet girl?” He whispers down towards you before moving a stray strand of hair out of your face. He hopes you mean the threesome, but he’s not apposed to fucking you right here on your couch, steve be damned. But he immediately feels guilty at that thought. 
“Being with you and Steve at the same time.” You whisper as you blink up at him with a nervous look in your eyes.
“No, no. Say what you really want, princess. Go ahead.” Eddie says back, but this time with a more domineering edge. His thumb swipes over your bottom lip ever so slightly, before he’s rubbing it along your jawline. “You can do it for me, baby. Just say it.” 
His face is within inches of yours and you want to kiss him so badly but you also want to give him what he’s asking for. 
“I want you and Steve to use me and fuck my holes.” You purr back before bashfully biting at the plump skin of your bottom lip.
Eddie almost chokes on his spit, he was expecting you to say something along the lines of “I want you and Steve to fuck me.” But him and his cock weren’t prepared for “use me and fuck my holes.” Jesus fucking Christ. 
“It’s taking everything inside of me to hold back from kissing you right now, angel.” Eddie says as he tries to steady his breathing. “But we’ll save that for later, alright? Call Steve first and then we’ll go from there.” Eddie says before placing a sweet kiss to the top of your head. He stands up and bids you a farewell before awkwardly walking to your front door with a rock hard cock between his legs. 
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“Hello-” Steve’s hoarse voice croaks out from the other end of the landline.
“Steve, baby? Can we talk?” 
You and Steve mutually agreed that your talk would be better to do in person, so he invited you over to the frat house, so you could sit down and talk with him and Eddie. Once you are ready to go, diary in hand. Your excitement from getting to see them, quickly turns to anxious nerves. 
This was all so new to you, you wondered if you and Steve's relationship would change? Or how things would be with you and Eddie? What if Steve and Eddie realize they have feelings for each other in the process and leave you in the dust? So many things you never had to think about when this was just your fantasy. 
Well you suppose those were all questions you could bring up to them once they were in front of you. You tried your best to not dwell on the unknown, although that was so much easier said than done. 
You pull up to the large brick house that sits on a huge grassy lawn. The fraternities greek letter badge sits proudly above the porch. You swallow down your nerves as you grab your bag and head towards the big iron gate that sits wide open, you walk through it leaving yourself no room to hesitate before climbing up the two steps towards the front door. 
You knock three times, crossing your arms over your chest when you glanced down and realized how much your cleavage was almost spilling from your shirt. 
“Come in!” A voice yells from the other side, making you freeze for a few seconds while a lump forms in your throat at the idea of just walking into someone else’s home. Before you can reach out towards the doorknob, it’s being opened for you and a set of sad, downturned hazel eyes meet yours. 
“Hey.” Is all he says before he’s ushering you inside. 
Once in, you can’t help but to look around. It’s huge and cleaner then you thought it’d be, considering it houses about a dozen or so guys. 
Steve can see the nervousness in your eyes, so he eases it by letting you know he was the only one home and that Eddie would be back any minute now. 
“Do you wanna sit in the living room or go up to my room?” Steve asks, as his head slightly perks up with excitement, more so hopeful than anything else. 
“Your room is cool.” You say with an awkward nod. 
His room was nothing like you’d expected, there were tons of posters all over the walls: cars, bands and naked girls were the theme. You figured it had to do with the excessive masculine facade you had to put on to be part of one of these fraternities.
Steve looks around with you and smiles sheepishly as your eyes meet a poster of two semi naked girls kissing, while one girl has her hand in the other girl's black panties.
You smile in amusement before taking a seat on his big bed, while Steve leans against his wooden desk directly in front of you. 
“I-Im so sorry, baby.” He sniffles, his sad eyes melting your heart as he continues. “I promise you, I didn’t go through your diary on purpose, it just fell and when I went to pick it up it was on that page, I-I just couldn’t look away after I seen what was in it, and that’s my fault, a-and I should’ve never went to eddie behind your back. I’ll do anything to make it up to you. I just- being without you for these past couple days I realized that I-I love you. And I know we haven't been dating for very long but, I think I’ve known from the moment we stayed up all night on the phone the first very first time, I just knew then that I was gonna fall in love with you.” He unveils, making your breath hitch. 
“You love me?” You murmur hesitantly. 
“I do. So much, honey.” It’s so sincere, as if he didn’t even have to give it a second thought. 
You're up and rushing towards him within seconds, wrapping him up into a big hug. His arms instantly move to the small of your back and before you know it, he’s picking you up. He walks towards the bed, sitting down on the plush mattress before adjusting your legs to straddle his lap. 
“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you, baby. These lips, your voice, your beautiful smile. God, I drove myself crazy just thinking about you.” He confesses, and his low husky timber goes straight between your thighs.
“I missed you, too.” You utter as your hands play mindlessly with his brown locks. You look down into his hazel eyes from where you were sat, perched in his lap. “I love you.” The weight that's been removed from your chest with your revelation, feels euphoric. Especially when Steve's lashes flutter and a pretty smile begins to stir on his once saddened face.
Your boyfriend's fingertips dig into your waist as his grip tightens, holding you close to him in fear of losing you again. His desperation, palpable. 
“Fuck, you just made me the happiest man alive.” He whispers, a wide smile taking over his face as he snuggles his head, lovingly into your chest. 
“Steve?” You whisper back, hands never leaving his fluffy mane. 
“What is it, honey?” He asks, his eyes snapping back up to yours with curiosity. 
“I wanna do the threesome.” You quickly blurt, before cowering away when you noticed how wide his eyes had gotten. 
“Baby, n-no. You don’t have to do anything you're uncomfortable with. You can just keep it as a fantasy. If it’s something you’d like to do in the future, then we can talk about it then. I'm not gonna lose you again.” He sighs, closing the small gap between your bodies by possessively bringing you chest to chest with him, as his grip tightens to a nearly painful level, causing you to whimper. 
“I um, I know about you and Eddie.” You admit, feeling his body tense beneath you. The look in his eyes is a mixture of fear and longing.
“He told you?” It comes out sharper than he intended, but that wasn't for Eddie to confess. You were his, he should've been the one to tell you his secrets.
“Trust me, he didn’t mean to. He seemed to be just as in the dark about things as I was.” You tease gently. 
Steve’s eyes fill with regret at your words, “I know, and I’m sorry baby. So fucking sorry.” He murmurs into your skin before he’s attacking your chest with kisses. 
“I forgive you, Stevie.” You insist, silently trying to work up the nerve to say what you really want to say. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.” The boy beneath you scrunches his face up in confusion. You take a shuddering breath before you continue. “You and Eddie together.”  
He sighs, eyes slightly darkening before he's  smirking up at you. “That get you goin’, pretty girl?” 
“Mmhm, I touched myself thinking about it.” Your confession has Steve’s eyes blowing wide with lust.
“Mmm, played with that pretty little pussy to the thought of what? Hm, me getting fucked?” He groans when you can’t help but to grind your now throbbing center against his growing erection.
Before things have a chance to heat up any further, Eddie pops his head in through the doorway, making you and Steve jump and gasp at the intrusion. 
“Sorry for interrupting.” Eddie says glumly, “should I uh, go?” He points his thumb behind his shoulder towards the door, but you can clearly see from the look in his eyes that the last thing he wants to do is leave. 
“No, c’mere.” You encourage but Eddie hesitates for a moment, before he begins taking a few steps over to you and Steve. He stands right behind you, making you beam at him from over your shoulder. 
“Princess over here was just telling me something very interesting.” Steve snickers up at the metalhead, who's looking down at both of you with intense affection. 
“Oh yeah? And what was that, pretty boy?” Eddie asks, his eyes never leaving the side of your face. 
“She said she touched her tight little cunt while she thought about you fucking me.” Steve’s once hazel eyes are now black and staring you down like a hungry predator.
“That true, sweet thing?” Eddie returns, before taking your chin between his fingers and bringing your face closer towards his, for a better view.
“Yes sir.” It slips out between your lips without much thought, but the men on either side of you groan in satisfaction. Now, you’re able to feel the metalheads hardening cock poke at your lower back. 
“Before we start, I um, I brought something.” You admit before hopping off of Steve’s lap and out of the perfect little sandwich they had created on either side of you. 
You dig through your bag that you had set down on Steve’s dresser, retrieving the object that brought you to this very moment. You turn back towards the boys, realizing their gaze hasn't left you since you first stood up. You clutch the black leather book to your chest as Steve and Eddie’s eyes follow you with curious mischief. 
“Want you to look through this together, so you can, maybe see some things I’d like to try, since we’re crossing one fantasy off the list.” You hold it out for one of them to take, Eddie moves quicker than Steve, eagerly ripping the diary from your hands. 
“Hey, she's my girlfriend.” The possessiveness in the honey eyed boy's voice, has you biting at your lip from how hot you find it.
“She’s ours tonight, big boy.” Eddie retorts, and you don’t want to admit how much the word ours, has your tummy swooping with excitement.
Eddie cackles at Steve's face before he’s taking a seat beside him, so close their thighs are touching.
“Let’s see here.” Eddie sings, as he quickly flips through the more boring pages of random writings and doodles. Until a page finally captures his attention. “Ah ha.” He says with a sly grin, as his finger follows after every word he’s reading. 
“Being dominated and degraded, huh?” The long haired boy beams up at you from beneath his lashes, as if he were seeing you in a new light. 
“Has Stevie ever done any of this stuff?” Eddie asks curiously, no judgment behind his words.
 You shake your head no while Steve stays silent, his cheeks pinkening in the process. 
“Yeah, baby boy’s more submissive, isn't he? Used to get so hard when I’d boss him around.” Eddie sighs as if in some far off memory. 
Steve’s not quite used to talking about being with a man in front of you or any woman, for that matter so his shoulders tense at Eddie’s confession. You quickly ease him by running your hand along his jaw, and up into his hair, before grabbing and tugging harshly, surprising both boys with the abrupt switch. 
“Is that true, baby? You like being bossed around?” Steve begins to stammer as his eyes grow glossy with desire. 
“Fuck, I’m gonna have a lot of fun with the both of you.” Eddie smirks as he shakes his head in disbelief. 
After the boys had taken their time kissing you, and getting you all worked up and whimpering for them. They began taking your clothes off. Both of them moaning when the fact that you hadn’t been wearing a bra or panties was revealed. 
Once their gawking and dirty words had stopped, you and Eddie began working on pulling all of Steve’s clothes off, leaving you both stark naked; all the while Eddie was fully dressed in his black and leather. 
“Get on your knees, both of you.” He demands, and you and Steve obey with no questions asked; like good little pets. Eddie was so achingly hard from just that thought alone. 
You and your boyfriend worked together to get the metalheads belt and jeans undone and down his creamy thighs. His hard cock bobbing out between yours and Steve's face. Your eyes widen at the size, but Steve pays no mind to it; reminding you that they’ve already done this, you're the one that's new here. To your surprise, there was no jealousy in that conclusion. 
“Open.” Eddie demands again, leaving you and Steve to submit to his every order, and you both do without any hesitation. Opening up your mouths and lulling your tongues out in the process, leaving Eddie to slap his fat leaking tip against your wet and pink, pillowy muscles.
The long haired boy above you, growls as his eyes take in the sight before him. You and Steve are on your knees for him with your tongues out, allowing him to slap his throbbing cock against them. He’s had his share of threesomes, but none have ever made him feel like this. 
Steve finally has enough of the teasing, eagerly wrapping his lips around Eddie’s tip and sucking before he swallows it down to the hilt with no problem. Seeing your boyfriend take Eddie so perfectly, has you grinding your hips against nothing. Desperately wanting to move your hand between your thighs and rub at your swollen bundle of nerves. 
“Share with your girlfriend Stevie, no need to be greedy. There's enough of me to go around.” Eddie insists, with his signature devilish smirk. 
“Shut the fuck up.” Steve retorts, making you laugh at their boyish banter.
Steve looks at you with a bashful smile, before he’s wrapping his hand around Eddie’s shaft and bringing it closer to your awaiting mouth. 
“Go ahead, suck his cock, baby.” Steve affirms, as if you needed the encouragement. You wrap your lips around Eddie, hungirly taking him as far back as you could. 
You find a steady pace, bobbing your head up and down on him as you twist your hand along the inches you can’t take. 
“Oh fuck. That’s a good girl.” Eddie groans, fisting your hair into a ponytail. He takes the bottom of his band tee and sticks it between his teeth, and your eyes flicker up to the trail of hair that leads up to his belly button and over his toned abs. You realize as his whole torso is on display, that he has both of his pink, pebbled nipples pierced. 
“You’re both so fucking greedy for this cock, jesus.” Eddie huffs, but he’s the complete opposite of upset or annoyed, fuck no. He’s vibrating, the most excited and turned on he’s probably ever been in his life. 
“Open your mouths, hands behind your back.” Another demand you both follow instantly. 
Eddie grabs the end of his shaft in his hand and fucks into Steve’s mouth, four thrusts in and he’s removing himself and bringing his cock to your lips. He goes back and forth between your throats, as spit drips off of his dick and into puddles on the floor. 
“Up.” He says with a stern vibrato.
“You. lay on the bed with your head upside down, I want it hanging off the edge.” He says, and you make quick work at following his orders. 
“Good girl.” He whispers sweetly, before bending down and catching your lips in a dirty, hunger filled kiss. 
“Alright, I want you to fuck her wet little cunt while I fuck her throat. How’s that sound, big boy?” 
Steve nods his head in agreement, as an excited smile and hungry eyes find your awaiting, pliant body. Your boyfriend climbs over you, nestling himself between your thighs. He brings two fingers between your legs and rubs at your folds, gauging whether or not he needs to get you wetter for him. But to his contentment, you're already soaked and dripping. He grabs his hard, leaking cock and rubs it along your slit before breaching your hole. 
“Mmm.” Steve hums in delight, as he reaches the depths of your pussy, so warm and tight. 
Eddie begins to slide his cock between your lips, and you're quickly being filled at both ends. You can't help but to relish in it, the fantasy you’ve had for years, playing out before your very eyes, with you as a participant. The thought had you growing wetter and your throat relaxing while both boys pounded into you.
“She takes cock so well, doesn't she?” You hear Steve question above you. 
“So fucking good, she’s got my goddamn legs shaking from this tight little throat.” Eddie growls as he thrusts harder with each word. You hear the smacking of their lips, as they both groan and whimper between tongue filled kisses. 
“Shit, shit. I gotta stop or I'm gonna come.” Eddie pants, removing himself as quickly as possible. 
He couldn't let this be over, yet.  
Steve pulls out too, looking to Eddie for his next command. 
“Princess wants to watch us mess around, then that's what princess is gonna get.” Eddie says, throwing you a wicked smile, as he moves in closer to Steve. He grabs his cock and fists it before crashing their lips back together. 
You move towards the top of the bed, for the perfect view. But also to be out of their way, you didn't want there to be any distractions from this.
They start out kissing and stroking each other's cocks. Their tongues lapping together, sloppily as desperate moans flow through the room.
Your fingers find their way between your thighs, the tips move in a circle over your throbbing bud and you bite at your lip as your eyes never leave the scene in front of you. 
Eddie now has Steve on all fours, while the metalhead stands behind him. He falls to his knees, before bringing his tongue to the other boy's rim. He fucks him with it, making Steve mewl all the while his eyes bore into yours. You can tell he’s so turned on; his hair is a mess, his face is flushed and his eyes are glossed over with desire. The long haired boy begins prodding at your boyfriend's hole with his fingers, stretching him out enough to take his cock that is now aching, painfully.
“You ready to give our girl a show, Stevie?” Eddie murmurs into his ear, while his eyes finally take in the image of you, laid out for them; legs spread wide as you touch yourself. He can’t help but want you closer.
“Come help me, baby.” Eddie insists, as he rubs his cock against Steve’s hole. 
“Yes, sir.” You purr, crawling across the bed before you're stopping just beside him.
“Such a good girl.” He praises as both boys watch your every movement. “Hold his ass open for me, can you do that, sweetheart?” You nod at his words. 
“Yes sir, I can do that.” And you do, grabbing at both of Steve’s plump cheeks and pulling them apart, as the metalhead begins pushing into his tight hole. They both groan in unison as Eddie buries himself inside the pliant boy beneath him.
“Fuck, that looks so good.” You can't help but utter as you stare at the way Steve stretches around Eddie. 
“Yeah? Like the way your boyfriend's tight little hole looks getting stuffed with my big cock?” He grunts, his hips speeding up as he fucks Steve with a force that knocks the wooden headboard repeatedly into the wall. 
Steve’s drooling and whimpering into the mattress, as his eyes roll back with pleasure. Eddie’s cock has been hitting his prostate dead on and he’s so close to coming. 
“I, I'm gonna come.” Steve whines.
“No. You’re. Not.” Eddie growls, as he slowly pulls out of the warm, tight hole that has always taken his cock so perfectly.
“Pretty girl deserves to be fucked too, doesn’t she?” The older boy smirks, slapping the round globe of Steve’s ass. 
“Switch places.” Eddie commands. 
You bend over, ass up in the air; mimicking the exact position your boyfriend was just in.
“Jesus, you’ve got some real pretty holes, baby.” Eddie cooed, as his thumbs spread you out.
 “You ever played with her little asshole, Harrington?” He asks, before spitting a glob right onto your puckered hole. 
“Just with my fingers.” Steve admits, bashfully.
“That’s a shame. We’ll have to change that another time, but right now I’m dying to stretch out this little cunt. Fuck, she’s dripping. Just begging to be fucked.” He boasts, then he’s sinking his two middle fingers into your cunt, all the while he rubs his thumb over your spit filled asshole. 
He works his fingers inside of you, almost immediately finding your sweet spot, which instantly has you whining and biting at the bed sheets. 
“Fuck yeah, so fucking ready for me.” Eddie murmurs under his breath, before he’s removing his fingers and replacing them with his much bigger cock. “Mmm, fuck.” He groans as his head falls back and a sigh of pleasure leaves his parted lips. 
Steve sits with his back against the headboard as he watches your bodies move together so effortlessly. He can't take it anymore, so he starts palming at his needy cock as he watches the two people he cares about most, captivate and pleasure each other. 
“Get your ass over here, big boy. Come fuck her mouth for me.” 
Steve’s moving before the demand fully leaves Eddie’s mouth, making you both giggle at his desperation. “With pleasure.” The honey eyed boy marvels, as he lays down with you between his thighs. His sensitive tip sits just inches from your lips, so you grab it and incase him in your wet mouth as you begin to suck him off with gusto.
They both begin to fuck into you, like they did when this all first started. Your wetness drips down both sets of balls, and Steve can’t take his eyes off of the way you're working his cock in and out of your mouth. Your eyes are watering and spit is dripping from your chin before you take him all the way back into your throat. You shake your head, making him whimper as his eyes roll back. 
“Need to feel you, Stevie.” Eddie groans, “help me stretch her little pussy out.” He’s practically begging the pretty boy, and your body slightly tenses at the idea of both of them inside of you, stretching you out together. 
“That okay, sweet girl?” Steve asks you, tenderly. 
“Please.” Is all you can mewl, as you tighten around Eddie. 
“Oh yeah, she’s very okay with it.” Eddie teases, as he brings both palms down harshly slapping at your ass, while he waits for Steve to make his way underneath you.
Finally, he sheethes his cock in right alongside his roommates. Stretching you out to maximum capacity, and you can’t hold back the loud moans and sobs that are ripped from your throat. 
Once the sharp pain is gone and you're used to the stretch, they begin snapping their hips in unison. The feeling is so indescribable, as both cocks rub together inside of you. You're all so wet and slippery and both boys are incredibly hard, but they only grow harder as their tips rub together between your walls. 
“Oh fuck, fuck fuck fuck, want you fill this pussy up with me, baby.” Eddie groans as he talks directly to Steve. His words cause you to clench around them.
“I'm gonna come, please don’t stop. Please don't come yet.” You babble.
“We're not coming until you do, honey.” Steve chokes, trying not to moan and curse as you tighten up even more, pushing their cocks together with force.
Eddie wraps your hair around his knuckles and pulls, causing your head to snap back as your eyes meet his, upside down.
“You gonna come on our cocks? Hm? Make a fucking mess on us.” He encourages.
Both boys' hands fall to your hips, right over each other as they bring you down harder on their dicks, that are so close to exploding. 
“Yes, yes, yes!” You squeal as your body begins to jerk and shake with intensity. You come so hard you almost black out, falling onto Steve's chest. He snuggles you in closer, holding you tight as him and Eddie continue to fuck into you. Two sets of expletives fall from their mouths as their cocks twitch against each other and they empty their balls deep inside of you.
You all fall into a heap of tangled limbs, as you and both boys fight to catch your breath. Everyones silent for a few minutes, trying to take in the events that just took place. 
“Alright, I’ll leave you two alone.” Eddie mumbles with sorrowful eyes, as if he’d felt like he worn out his welcome.
“No, stay.” You and Steve mutually implore. 
“You want me to stay?” He asks, unsure if it was a good idea.
“We want you to stay.”   
★ 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬
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sturnioloarchive · 2 months
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"𝑩𝒓���𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕-𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑶𝒏𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒅" 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑴.𝑺
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❥ 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 : 𝒀𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝑵𝒂𝒕𝒆'𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒔𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒍 𝒓𝒐𝒐𝒎?
❥ 𝑻𝒘'𝒔 : 𝑺𝒎𝒖𝒕 (𝒐𝒃𝒗), 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒈𝒂𝒑 (𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒐𝒍𝒅), 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒌(?), 𝒅𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒌, 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒕𝒐 𝑴𝒂𝒕𝒕, 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒅, 𝒖𝒏𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒔𝒆𝒙 (𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒍), 𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒓 𝒑𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝑶𝒓𝒂𝒍 ( 𝒇𝒆𝒎), 𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒌, 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒃𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏, 𝒍𝒎𝒌 𝒊𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆'𝒔 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒍𝒔!!
❥ 𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 : 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒎 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝒊𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆'𝒔 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔, 𝒊 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒅𝒚𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒙𝒊𝒂 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒎 𝑩𝒖𝒍𝒈𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒂 (𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒔 𝒎𝒚 𝑬𝒏𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒈𝒆) 𝒂𝒍𝒔𝒐 𝒊 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘, 𝒊 𝒂𝒍𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒚 𝒘𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆 "𝒑𝒐𝒑𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒚" 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒈𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇, 𝒊 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒘𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒗𝒊𝒓𝒈𝒊𝒏. 𝑨𝒍𝒔𝒐 𝒊 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏'𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒌 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔!! 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈!!
༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻
Me and my older brother Nate, know the sturniolo triplets for our whole life's basically, I've always had a crush on Matt.
Aka the middle triplet, I know he probably sees me as a little sister, but this doesn't stop me from daydreaming about him 24/7.
There are some moments that feeds my "delusion", like the eye-contact, some lingering touches and etc. But that's probably just me.
He and his brothers Nick and Chris are very good friends to my brother, which means they are good with me too, we grew up together.
We decided to go on a trip to Las Vegas, me and my brother already packed our things, the triplets were ready too.
"Cmon let's go already!" Chris shouted from the living room
"GIVE ME A MINUTE!" I sighed, while blushing my hair.
After five minutes actually, I was ready.
I went downstairs, and saw the four of them on the couch
"I'm ready, we can go" Matt looked over me, smiling sweetly.
I returned the smile, but quickly looked away when he noticed my blushing face, we grabbed our stuff and went outside where
The car was parked, Chris was on the passenger seat as always, me, nick and nate were in the back, I was in the middle
Not realizing that I was giving Matt easy access, to look over me.
He started the car, and waited a little bit before starting to drive.
I decided to put on my headphones and listen to some music, while I was listening, I looked at Matt and saw him already looking at me thorough the back mirror
I blushed when our eyes met, but quickly looked away, I guess he looked away too because he was obviously driving.
After 1 hour
Matt stopped at the gas station, we all got out of the car, me and nick decided to go inside the station and get some snacks and drinks
"Matt won't stop eye fucking you girl" Nick looked at me, raising his eyebrow
"Wait, what?" I asked confused
"Oh babe, please don't tell me you haven't noticed." He looked at me with the "are you serious" stare
"I mean yeah, I noticed him looking at me randomly, but I think it's just..normal you know" I picked a bag of chips, then I looked at him.
"Definitely not normal at all" he grabbed a bag of chips as well, while laughing slightly
"What's not normal?" Suddenly Nate came behind us.
I turned around, looking at him
"You fucking scared me!" I scoffed
"She was just talking about her..girly problems" Nick made up a lie
"Why with you?" Nate raised his eybrow.
"He's gay" I said "I'm gay" Nick said with me, laughing.
"Anyways, grab some shit and let's go, or Matt will be mad."
"Y/n will like that" Nick murmured, I heard him, nate too..
"Fuck you mean she will like that?" He said, a little too loud.
"He's joking Nate.." I looked at Nick with death stare
"Yeah, don't take me seriously" Nick looked back at me.
After we grabbed some things, we payed and got out of the store.
"The fuck were yall doing inside?"
"Oh, Nick's fault" I said quickly
"Heyyy!" He frowned but laughed at that.
"Guys let's go!" Chirs whined, wanting to get at the hotel already.
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After about 30 minutes, we arrived at the hotel, and this is how this happened..
"Uh-oh, there's only one bed." Matt looked over me, and I swear I saw that smirk.
"Oh god" I blushed, feeling even more "embarrassed" that not only I get to sleep in one room, with my crush since childhood, but in one bed..
"Matt, I can take the sofa" I looked at the small sofa in the room, I definitely wouldn't be able to sleep there but
"Yeah, that wouldn't happen, don't worry I don't bite. We will sleep together." He chuckled, coming closer to me.
Fuck, why is he coming so close
"Well..I guess, it wouldn't be a problem" I looked up at him, my face flushed
"No problem at all baby" he got impossibly closer, looking down at my lips, that were slightly pouted.
I felt my heart beating faster, I wouldn't be surprised if he hears my heartbeat.
As he was looking at my lips, he licked his own, biting his bottom lip slightly after he did that
Fuck what is he doing
"Well" he suddenly backed up, "let's fix our clothes, after all they shouldn't be in the bags." He smiled sweetly at me
Fucking tease..
I simply nodded, starting unpacking my clothes.
While he was doing the same
He suddenly looked over me, right when I was going through my underwear
"Hello kitty panties?" He chuckled, smirking
I blushed so fucking hard at that, immediately covering my bras and panties
"Why are you looking at them!" I squealed, looking at him with wide eyes.
"Shh, calm down, it's not like I was a vibrator or dildo" he replied teasingly
"Oh my God Matthew! You're disgusting!"
"Disgusting huh?" He walked over me slowly, making my breath hitch
"Am I really that disgusting to you baby?" Matt got close to me, caressing my cheek softly.
"Stop that" I tried to avoid his gaze, "why, am I making your cunny wet baby?" He said, voice full of lust.
"M-matt!" I scolded him, or at least I tried.
He chuckled, backing up once again like before
"Let's finish this up" he said, like nothing happened just seconds ago.
After five minutes, we both were ready with our stuff, Matt laid on the bed. Scrolling mindlessly through his phone
"Will you go to the bathroom? I want to take a shower" I looked over him
"No, go..call me if you need company tho" he looked at me smirking.
I just scoffed at that, grabbing some panties, shorts and a oversized t shirt, but I didn't realized that I didn't take a bra
I went into the bathroom, locking the door after me, I turned on the shower for the water to warm up while I took of my clothes and underwear.
As I started showering, my thoughts went to Matt, not so innocent ones.
I slowly spread open my legs, a little bit, dropping my hand between them.
I started rubbing my clit slowly, small whimpers coming out of my mouth.
I slowly inserted my middle finger inside, whining at the small stretch, i curled it so it can hit my special spot
After i made sure i was more wet, i put inside my ring finger too, small moans coming out of my mouth
Thinking that he wasn't hearing, me become of the running water
But oh i was so wrong
♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎
Matt's Pov :
While i was scrolling through my phone, i suddenly started hearing sounds, her sounds. Small whimpers, whines and means
She probably was thinking that, i wasn't hearing those noise,
But she's so wrong, or perhaps she doing it in purpose.
To challenge me, i felt my cock twitching, i groaned.
I turned off my phone, throwing it beside me
Without any second thoughts, i un buckled my belt, pulling my pants and boxers down, enough to pull out my cock
I grabbed it, my hand started going up and down slowly
I started teasing my leaking tip, with my thumb letting out a hiss, collecting my pre-cum and smearing it all over my hard shaft
I started jerking of, faster, my hips jerking into my hand.
I groaned from the intense feeling, suddenly i heard her moans turning a little bit louder, i just can imagine her, how she looks
Her fingers deep inside her tight cunt, wishing they were mine
I closed my eyes shut, squeezing my hand a little bit and jerking of, faster than before, i was so close
I started cumming, shooting my cum into my hand and stomach, imaging that im cumming deep inside of her
I started breathing heavily, after five seconds i grabbed a pepper towel, cleaning my mess
End of his pov.
♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎ ♡ ♥︎
As i was pumping my fingers, in and out of me, i started rubbing my clit too.
I felt my tummy tightening, i knew i was close.
I let out a loud moan when i came, soaking my finger.
I pulled them out of me, whimpering, i waited five seconds so i can get out of my post orgasm-haze
I continued with my shower, after i finished.
I got out, drying myself i putted on my panties.
The hello kitty ones..
I didn't choose them on purpose, i just grabbed the ones that were closer, i putted on my shorts and i realized that.
I didn't get a bra, i wanted to put on the old one, but i didn't
After all the t shirt is oversized as fuck, so i simply putted on the t shirt,
I brushed my teeth, washing my face after.
Aftet i was done with my night routine
I collected my dirty clothes, putting them inside the laundry basket
And when i got out, i saw Matt still on the bed
When he saw me, he looked at me, smirking.
But didn't said anything else, did he hear me!?
I dried my hair with the towel, after i was done. I looked over him
But he was already looking at me
"You know, you shoudve stayed quiet" he stood up from the bed, coming close to me
"Wh-what!?" I knew what he meant but i was scared, i felt my heart beating faster, and louder.
He came to me, grabbing my waist, pulling me close to him and..
He kissed me
I gasped softly, from the sudden act, i putted both of my hands on his naked chest.
He pulled away, while he was doing it he bited my bottom lip slightly.
I whimpered at that, "M-matt"
"Do you want this? Hm?" He looked at me, his eyes blown with lust.
"Y-yeah..i want you" i said quietly
He smirked at me "ill be your first right?"
"Yes matt.." i blushed, i looked up at him
"Good, go lay on the bed." He demanded, starting to slip his pants down.
I looked over the bed, walking to it. "Oh undress please" Matt said casually
I looked over him, but nodded and started undressing myself, after i was only in my panties, i laid down on the bed
"No bra? Slut" he chuckled, i blushed even more if possible.
He walked over me, and looked at my titts.
"So pretty baby" he runned his hand over them.
"Im gonna help you to ease up, yeah?"
"Yeah.." i nodded, waiting patiently.
He laid on top of me gently, and suddenly kissed me.
I tried to kiss back, but i easy lost, giving him the main role.
He pulled back, and looked down.
"Did you chose them in purpose huh?" He pointed at my panties
"No..they were the first ones that i saw" he chuckled at that
"Whats gonna happen now is, im going to eat you out, is that okay?"
I gasped quietly when i heard him, but nodded immediately.
"Yeah, please Matt." He started going down on me, spreading my legs, and putting them over his shoulders.
He kissed my pussy over my panties, my breath hitched from the feeling of his lips.
He looked up at me, and started removing my panties, i helped him out by lifting my hips.
After he was done with that, he kissed my clit.
I whimpered from the contact, "Pl-please" i let out a whine.
He chuckled but didn't said anything, he licked a stripe from my leaking hole to my clit, making me moan out.
I felt him smirk against my pussy.
He started suckling on my clit, wrapping his lips around it while his tongue flicked against it.
"M-nghhh-matt" i moaned his name loudly.
He pulled back a little bit, and i looked down, i saw him hallowing his cheeks to collect saliva. And he suddenly spat on my clit.
I gasped softly, feeling the saliva running down to my ass.
He looked up at me, his baby blue eyes now almost black.
He suddenly started eating me out even more, like my pussy was his last meal ever.
He shaked his head, while looking up at me.
I suddenly felt my tummy tightening, "Cuhh-cumming!"
He started suckling on my clit hard when he heard me, i came on his tongue, his tongue lapping my juices eagerly.
"Taste so good baby" he groaned, starting to go up at me.
"Open" i opened my mouth, and he spat on my tongue, he didn't tell me to swallow so i didn't, he slapped my cheek slightly.
"Swallow!" And i did, tasting my cum on his saliva
"Are you ready?" I nodded
"Words y/n" he kissed the top of my nose
I smiled at the sweet gesture, "yes matt, im ready."
He nodded at that, he pulled down his boxers, revealing his hard cock.
His tip angry redish color, he pumped it slowly, his hand going up and down.
He groaned, "touched myself to you earlier baby, hearing your pretty sounds made me so so hard."
I blushed at his words
"Tell me, did you pumped those little fingers inside your tight cunt?"
"Mhm..yeah"
"Good baby, youre driving me crazy y/n/n"
"Matt cmon!" I whined
He chuckled at my desperation
And started rubbing his cock up and down, as to collect my juices from my pussy.
"Can i push now angel?" I nodded
"Please Matty.." i looked at him with puppy eyes
"Relax fully baby" and i did.
He started to push inside of my heat slowly
I moaned from the burning sensation, "shh, you're doing so good sweetheart"
He waited more, before suddenly slamming fully into me, making me nearly scream, when he pulled back he saw my blood coating his cock, he suddenly pushed once again.
"Matt!!" I moaned loudly, he started sucking on one, of my hard nipples, biting it slightly, making me whine.
After five more seconds, he started snapping his hips against mine.
With each thrust getting harder, i got louder.
He grabbe me by the hips, suddenly turning me around on my stomach, putting me on a doggy, i felt his hands grabbing my ass.
And started to push inside my pussy harder, i let out a scream.
Making him slap my ass hard, "such a loud bitch"
"M-matty" i whimpered, my face pushed into the pillows.
He grabbed my hair, making an ponytail.
He pulled me against his chest, and continued slamming inside of me.
"Feels good huh?" I nodded at that, already cock drunk.
"So fucking dumb baby, made you drunk on my cock huh?" I nodded, he suddenly pulled out and slammed with full force.
Making me droll and scream, he let go of my hair, grabbing both of my hands behind my back, and slammed into me if possible, more harder and faster.
I felt the sensation on my tummy again, this time even more strong.
"G-gonna pee matt!! Pull out!!" I said embarrassed
He didn't said anything but continued to push his big cock inside of me.
I let out a scream when i came, my cunt gushing around him.
"M-matt im so sorry!" I apologized embarrassed.
He chuckled "youre a squirter baby"
I whimpered at that
"You didn't pee don't worry" he said softly, and continued to fuck me.
I moaned from the feeling, already sensitive, i felt his cock somehow even bigger
"S'big matty!" I moaned, tears falling from my eyes, from the pleasure.
"Yeah? Too big for your little cunny?" I nodded, drolling all over myself.
"Gonna cum soon angel" he groaned.
"Please, cum inside" i whimpered.
"I will, cum. deep. inside. of. this. cunt." Each words said with hard thrusts.
He suddenly came inside of me, filling me with his warm cum.
The feeling of it, making me cum again.
Gushing around him, and tightening impossibly around his softening shaft.
He pulled out slowly, watching his cum drip out of me.
"Stay, im gonna grab a towel." He stated
Standing up to go and get, an wet towel.
He returned seconds later, cleaning me firts slowly, and then himself.
"The sheets are ruined" i said, blushing.
"Dont worry about that, here" he handed me a bottle of water.
I drank from it, leaving it on the nightstand after.
"Do you want new panties?"
"Y-yeah" he got to the drawer where i putted my underwear.
Grabbing one, and coming close to me. Putting them on me.
After he putted on his boxers, he laid down beside me.
Putting my head against his chest, "i love you, will you be my girlfriend"
"Y-yeah..i love you" i said shyly.
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑬𝒏𝒅.
༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻ ༺୨♥︎୧༻
Guys im very sorry that it took so long, and im sorry if theres any mistakes, but im actually drunk rn and idk whats even written here 😣💖
Tag: @jennss23
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loaksky · 11 months
Text
— 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒖𝒔𝒄𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒆 | 𝒂. 𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏
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emt!abby x clumsy fem!reader, fluff / angst / smut (mdni!), wc: 8.8k (abby makes me ill).
synopsis: abby’s recuperating from a rocky relationship. tending to you more than once has gotta be fate.
content warnings: language, 18+ content (MDNI!): fingering (abby & reader receiving), oral (abby receiving), standard emotional constipation, non-graphic depictions of injuries / blood. let me know if i miss anything! not proofread well!
tagging those who interacted with my interest post! @eden-nox , @feeeeebbb , @thecowardwrites , @dawn-bunni , @dykefromstatefarm , @kingofcrabs17 , @deadliebalboa , @caitlinisfruity , @matchabxba , @abbysidechick
main masterlist | tlou masterlist
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THE FIRST TIME ABBY TENDS TO YOU is an embarrassing circumstance all its own. And not necessarily because you’d hurt yourself, but because of one meddling little sibling in particular.
It’s nearly 2am in the morning, a little brisk outside of the apartment complex, and Abby’s trailing behind her rotation partners up three rickety flights of stairs.
“Seattle EMS!”
The door’s flying open and a frantic girl no older than fifteen is ushering the trio in the apartment.
“It’s my sister,” she says quickly. “She cut her hand with a knife. Won’t stop bleeding.”
Abby’s observing her surroundings, eyes flitting around the space as they file quickly down the hallway, walls neatly littered with polaroids, picture frames, and various other decorations and knickknacks.
As they spill into the living room, Abby’s eyes settle on you, sitting on the coffee table in nothing but an oversized tee and some boyshorts.
There are tiny smears of red across your thighs, right hand applying pressure to your left palm with a wad of paper towels. One look at your face shows draining color and Abby’s setting the duffel on the floor.
“Need her rate and blood pressure,” one of her partners says. “Anderson, can you assess the damage?”
“Yeah, yeah, sure,” Abby says, kneeling in front of you.
She swears she feels a jolt of electricity pass through her nitrile gloves when her fingertips brush your skin. You’re shaky, eyes droopy because you’ve never been great with blood.
“I’m gonna take a look,” Abby says softly, coaxing the paper towels away from you. “That okay?”
You nod, hair falling into your face as she turns your palm over to analyze the wound.
“Sheesh,” she whispers. “What’d you do?”
When you’re silent for a moment, warmth momentarily returning to your cheeks as embarrassment floods your system, Abby’s eyes swing to your younger sister who’s seemingly clocked the considerable tension between you and the hot EMT.
“We were making brownies,” she fills in helpfully. “Big sis was chopping up the nuts.”
One of Abby’s partners chuckles, the one filling out the paperwork, and Abby glances at you again, something niggling in the pit of her stomach when she sees the flustered way you bite your lip.
“Personally not a fan of nuts in my brownies, but that’s a hill I’ll die on.”
Abby’s trying to distract you, take your mind away from a the gnarly gash cut deep in your palm line. It works, she thinks, when you crack a small smile.
“Me neither,” you agree, and it’s the first words you say all night.
Your voice has a sweet rasp, one that makes Abby’s gut twist.
“Guess this means nuts really are a no go,” you say, hissing momentarily when Abby makes start with cleaning your wound.
For a moment she forgets you’re talking about brownies and your little sister’s searing gaze should be confirmation enough, but after gathering all of your important information and spending the next forty-five minutes cleaning you up, Abby’s being stopped in her tracks as they file out of the cramped living room.
Your little sister catches her as the two other techs swing into the third floor hallway.
“My big sis is gay, FYI,” she giggles mischievously. “Like real gay.”
You call her name, absolutely horrified.
Abby can’t help the smile that splits her face.
“Mmm, good to know.”
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You’d barely recovered from that moment, still reeling nearly a week later after your failed sleepover party with your little sister that ended in the hottest tech seeing you in the worst condition possible.
And while you thank every force above that Abby hadn’t seemed too perturbed by your sibling’s antics, it’s still something that makes you rub the heel of your palms into your eyes and kick your feet in annoyance before bed.
But just when you think you’re finally getting over it, you cross paths again.
Fate has a cruel way of flexing its humor because you’re turning an especially crowded corner in the freezer section of Whole Foods when your toe catches the corner display.
“Shit!” you hiss, basket clattering to the floor.
Your jar of extra garlic-y marinara is rolling away and a few of your lemons are scattering between avoidant feet.
“Hey, you alright?”
And you’ve heard that voice before, familiar hum haunting your dreams for the past week and a half.
You look up just as the body associated with the voice crouches in front of you, pasta sauce in one hand and trio of lemons in the other.
Of course it’s Abby in all of her glory. Her hair is loosened from her braid, falling over her broad shoulders as she searches your face. She’s in her work polo, few buttons undone and belt somewhat loosened.
Something akin to recognition flashes over her features as she takes you in.
“Thanks,” you whisper when she rights your basket and carefully sets the runaway items inside.
“You’re always hurting yourself,” she teases, standing to her full height before offering her hand out to you.
For a moment you were caught up, so engrossed in seeing Abby again like a direct manifestation of your very fears (and a wet dream or two), that you hadn’t noticed that people were staring.
Your face is hot as your fingers brush her palm and she’s hoisting you up like you weigh nothing. When you shift your weight to the foot you’d tripped on, your face screws up in discomfort.
Abby’s scarily perceptive, equal parts because it comes with the job even when she’s off duty, and also because it’s you. She doesn’t know what’s so different about you, especially because she hasn’t bat an eye at another girl in the past seven months since her previous break-up, but she can’t take her eyes off of you. She’s certain her pupils are blown wide by now.
“Does it hurt?” she asks, steadying you with warm hands.
Abby has to force herself to glance up at you when she happens to notice the way your chest hitches, pendant on the dainty chain that rests between the divot of your collarbones glinting under the fluorescents.
“A little,” you admit.
Abby doesn’t hesitate to take your basket alongside hers and offers you a perfectly sculpted arm.
God you could actually combust, not only because you’re beyond embarrassed but because Abby’s too fucking hot for her own good.
“Easy,” she tells you as you move through the aisles slowly.
She’s guiding you to a quiet corner in the foodcourt, setting you gently against the bench before plopping down next to you.
Your lips part to thank her, tell her that you’ll just rest here for a moment before going about your day, but she’s lifting your leg into her lap and undoing the strap of your sandal wordlessly.
“Oh—”
Her gaze swings to yours.
“Gotta get a better look,” she tells you with an easy smile, fingers gentle around your ankle.
She starts rolling, testing your range of motion. When your expression pinches, she’s rummaging through her basket, only to produce a frozen bag of peas a few moments later.
“Doesn’t look like any bruising is forming and you’ve got your full range of motion,” she observes. “Just a rolled ankle. Nothing some ice won’t fix.”
You stare at her unblinking, nodding stupidly as she applies a slight amount of pressure with the frozen vegetables.
“I, ah—” you let out a low hiss and Abby shouldn’t lick her lips, but her mouth’s dry and the skin of your legs are like butter. “I think I’ll be okay.”
The concern that shades Abby’s features makes you squirm on the bench, ankle still propped in her lap.
“Did you drive?” Abby presses, and she knows that this is a bad idea.
The two of you could be on your way, paths officially untangling, but something inside of her is compelled, tugged hard at the sight of you.
“No…” you trail off sheepishly. “I walked.”
Abby’s lips part, words escaping her before she can stop and think twice.
“I’ll walk you home,” she offers.
“Oh, Abby, you don’t have to do that,” you say gently.
It’s like someone squeezes the air from her lungs at the sound of her name leaving your lips in a rasped hum, makes her wet her lips again because her mouth’s gone dry.
“You’re probably really busy, I don’t want to be a bother,” you add with a soft smile.
“You wouldn’t be,” she assures you. “Just wanna make sure you make it home safe.”
And it’s such a sweet sentiment, one that makes warmth bloom in your chest and your tummy. But there’s a dull ache, a squeeze that makes your thighs involuntarily press together. It’s barely perceptible and you hope to whatever’s in the universe that Abby’s not keen when it comes to body language.
The planes of her face are serious, bump on the bridge of her nose pronounced as you watch the set of her jaw. Fuck, did you want her bad, feel embarrassment creeping because if anyone nearby could intercept your brain, they’d find a slew of less than appropriate thoughts accompanying the more tame.
Without another word, Abby’s hooking your sandal back on, patting your shin gently before setting you right and gathering the combination of your groceries and hers.
You make a move to follow her, but she levels you with a warning glare.
“Stay put,” she urges. “I’ll take care of it.”
“But, Abby—” you splutter.
Your name is stern on her lips and another dull ache ebbs as she stands over you in her uniform, muscles stretching the fabric taut.
She’s off a moment later and after what seems like an eternity waiting almost helplessly, Abby returns with a few paper bags. She’s stuffing the receipt in her pocket and your expression shifts, lips pursing.
“How much do I owe you?” you ask as soon as she offers her elbow to you.
“Don’t worry about it,” she quips, body tensing in the slightest as she acclimates all over again to the feeling of you clinging to her. “Now let’s get you home.”
“Abby!” you whine, drawing her name out petulantly.
It’s so domestic, all of it. Carrying your groceries with your arms looped through hers and the two of you strolling down the sidewalk to accommodate your hurt foot.
“What?” she mocks, and you can’t help but smile.
“You’ll be late for work,” you say softly, unable to stop the passing observation of how sturdy she feels against you.
“I’m off.”
And something like relief, excitement, jolts at the thought. Makes you hush the rest of the way to your apartment building like the courage is still brewing.
The middle-aged woman that sits at her desk in the lobby and plays Candy Crush half of shift pauses to spare the two of you a passing glance as you walk in, eyebrows raising and lips twitching.
“Afternoon, Marianne,” you greet sheepishly.
“Good afternoon,” she parrots, rolling her lips to hide the amused grin threatening to spread.
Abby is none-the-wiser as her eyes flit around the lobby in search for the elevators.
The ride up ends up being shrouded in total silence save for the whirring of the lift’s gears and your shallow breaths. For a moment, Abby wonders if she’s overstepped. If she’s made you uncomfortable and read all the signs wrong.
As the two of you approach your door, the very one her and her coworkers had banged on a little over a week ago, she’s trying to come up with the words to apologize, tell you that she really just wanted to make sure you were okay.
(Even though she’ll only ever admit to herself that perhaps part of it was self-indulgent and the softness of your skin was like a high).
But you’re beating her to it, untangling to shift your weight to your uninjured foot and turning to face her.
“Do you…” You swallow and blink once, then twice, gathering the rest of your courage. “Do you wanna come in?”
Oh— Abby hadn’t been expecting that. She’d been expecting you to fumble with your groceries and close the door in her face for good. But now you’re looking up at her through thick lashes and a shy grin and all she can think to herself in this moment is that she’s a goner.
“I’m making dinner,” you add. “If you’d like to stay.”
Another slice of domesticity that has Abby’s wires crossing.
“Sure,” she agrees easily, and it takes everything inside of her not to teem with too much excitement when you turn to slot your key into the lock and the door springs open.
Your apartment is just how she remembers it from the little details she’d picked up the last time she was here. That same scent of lemons and what she thinks could be incense. Though it’d felt a little out of line, unprofessional to be too engrossed in her surroundings the first time, especially when her eyes caught a particularly suggestive photo among the wall hosting polaroids.
You’re with a group of girl friends, bent over in a too short skirt so that the swell of your ass is pressed to the girl in the center’s front. The shot gives a perfect eyeful of your cleavage in a tiny little triangle bikini top and the cherry on top is the pair of red cat-eye glasses sliding down the bridge of your nose as you wink at whoever is behind the camera.
You pause at the end of the hallway when you notice Abby’s no longer close behind.
“Looks like somebody knows how to have a good time,” she observes jokingly, but her cheeks are so incredibly warm because christ you’re beautiful.
You’re sheepish.
“Definitely retired from that life,” you tell her, and she notes that the neat sharpie dates back nearly six summers ago. “Now I like to bake with my little sister and injure myself.”
Abby can’t help the smile when you start gazing at all the other polaroids tacked into a heart formation on the crisp white walls.
“You seem like the life of the party,” Abby says, eyes lingering on another polaroid of you in what seems to be a dorm room with a joint pinched between your fingers, sporting a feather boa, a paper crown that says ‘birthday girl’ and those same red sunglasses.
You huff out a laugh.
“I wouldn’t say that...”
She wonders if she’ll see that side of you. So far you seem so quiet, reserved. It makes her want to peel away the layers and learn you.
The thought makes her blink hard.
“Kitchen’s this way,” you say after a few moments pass, turning on your heel to pad down the hall and swing left.
Light pours from where you flip the switch to the kitchen’s fluorescents.
Abby finds that the living room and kitchen is far tidier than the last time she’d been here, obviously cleaned after the entire baking debacle with your little sister.
My big sis is gay, like real gay. The words were like a subtle push. One that made Abby weigh the potential.
She’s setting the paper bags on the counter, making a move to go through the bags to help you put the groceries away, but your hands close over hers, slightly smaller and warm as you halt her movements.
“You’ve done enough for me,” you say, smile crooked. “Make yourself at home.”
And the household phrase is so cliche, but makes a split second reel of what making herself fully at home entails. She’d never admit it out loud, but part of it is bending you over the kitchen island.
She swallows the lump in her throat as you limp around the kitchen.
“You should rest your foot,” she says.
Your smile widens.
“I’m okay,” you assure her.
She leans against the counter, watching as you file everything in its rightful place. The muscles in her face involuntarily twitch when you stand up on your tip toes to throw a box of cereal on top of the fridge.
Your ass looks absolutely edible in your jeans and the low cut of your top shows the way your shoulder blades contract.
Definitely doesn’t help her blooming kitchen fantasies.
“You want something to drink?” you offer.
“Just water, please,” Abby clears her throat, gaze snapping up to meet the gaze you throw over your shoulder.
And she has to use the cute little glass you give her as a lifeline, nearly crushing the frosted green glass to bits multiple times over the course of you prepping dinner and the actual thing.
Because not only are you wickedly witty in a way that’s easily overlooked, but you’re phenomenal in the kitchen. Nearly drools watching you cut through your produce while chattering happily about growing up on the west coast and your college years.
You work through the building heat to set a painted ceramic dish piled high with pasta that Abby absolutely devours with nearly as much fervor as she likes to think she would you.
“Good?” you ask hopefully, leaning forward on your elbows.
“Better than good,” Abby says eagerly. “Great, fantastic.”
“Yay,” you cheer pure-heartedly and she could melt. Especially when she polishes off the plate and you sit up straight. “More?”
She easily agrees just for the sake of watching you.
“You should, uh—” You scratch the back of your neck nervously as she continues eating. “You should stop by again. If you, y’know, wanna…I cook a lot and there’s usually a lot left over.”
Abby could scream in excitement. She’s one intrusive thought away from reaching over the island to squish your cheeks and tell you that there’s literally nothing else in the world she’d wanna do than to see you again. Instead she forces her composure with an easy smile.
“I’d really like that.”
And the way she sits back in her seat, legs obviously spreading under the surface to stretch has you wiggling uncomfortably. The last few buttons of her polo have come undone, exposing a freckled expanse of skin that you’d love to sink your teeth into, and somehow, sometime while your back had been turned, she’d opted for undoing the rest of her loosening braid to throw it into a topknot.
The tension is palpable, thick enough to choke, and at times, as the two of you chat over the kitchen island, it has you stumbling over your words.
Even more so when you walk her to the door at half past ten. She’s leaning against the doorframe like she doesn’t want to leave, and truthfully, you don’t want her to. Want to spend as much time as you can caught up.
“I’ll call you?” you bite the bullet despite the tremor in your fingertips.
Abby nods, arm banded around her paper bag of groceries, a tupperware of leftovers nestled on the top.
“Yeah, please,” she hums.
And there’s one final moment of tension that clings between the two of you as she kicks off the doorframe and you close the door, back pressed against the wood.
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After that night, the lines you dance blur impossibly. Always a will she, won’t she that seems to equally frustrate the two of you for vastly different reasons unbeknownst to the other.
You because you can’t get a read on Abby, always teetering over a steep edge trying to get her to bite your advances. But you know, know that there’s something there. Abby because she’s given more and more reason to fall into you with every passing moment, but can’t seem to take the plunge, entirely too freshly single to think about another commitment that could fail and leave her already mending heart beyond repair.
And she knows it isn’t fair, especially when the tension both romantic and sexual is absolutely brimming. You’re nothing like the partners she’s been with before, especially not her last girlfriend who was practically your polar opposite. You were gentle, sweet, funny. Good at practically anything you could get your hands on.
But something stalls her, keeps her from diving headfirst despite late nights laying on your living room floor talking about things both minute and infinite, cooking with you in the snugness of your tiny kitchen, even inviting you to outings with friends and vice versa.
So you take the plunge instead, one Saturday evening weeks after your first meeting, after spending long swathes of time tangled in each other’s presence.
You’re at a bar with her and her friends, slight buzz giving you the smallest nudge of confidence to cling to her arm. And god does Abby look good tonight, especially so, in a dark button up and fitted pants. She’s got her hair down, tickles your cheek when you nuzzle against her shoulder.
Her friends’ eyes are inquisitive, curious because touches between the two of you rarely linger for longer than a few moments, but you’ve been glued to her side all night. She doesn’t say anything though, doesn’t shrug you off, even wraps an arm around your shoulder when you return from the restroom.
So with a few more drinks and a little more liquid courage, you’re toeing a little over the line. You’ve pushed her hair over her shoulders, pressing your lips experimentally to the skin behind her ear. It’s a sensation that has her freezing up almost imperceptibly, but you can tell with the way her muscles grow taut under your fingers.
“What’re you doing, angel?” Abby asks quietly, span of her large palm gripping your thigh.
“Nothin’,” you hum, nose bumping her ear.
She breathes out a hollow laugh, tries to turn her attention to her friends who are obviously trying to ignore your displays of affection. But then your lips are brushing with more force against her collar and she’s sliding out of the stuffy booth to get some air.
Her resolve is obviously crumbling, even more so when she stands at the bar waiting for the next round of drinks and your arm bands around her waist, the other flattening below her belly button. When your pinkie slides beneath her belt buckle, she’s pushing off the counter.
And for a moment you think you’ve upset her when she gathers all the stout glasses and winds through the crowd to return to the booth you’d previously occupied.
You barely make it to the back of the bar when she’s emerging from the bodies and grabbing you roughly by the bicep.
“Abby—”
Her lips are slotting yours before you can apologize, and she tastes like cherries and liquor. Her arms wind around your waist, one hand on the small of your back, the other grabbing a handful of your ass.
“Abs,” you whisper breathlessly, unable to feel any embarrassment for taking up a high traffic aisle as she bites your bottom lip.
“Your place or mine?” she asks, voice gravelly. “Because you started something that I’m gonna need you to finish, princess.”
And your knees are jelly the entire trek to your apartment, insides liquid and tummy fluttering because a warmth has begun to pool in your panties. The way Abby can’t keep her hands off you through the elevator ride up makes it all the worse.
“You’re such a fuckin’ tease, y’know that?” she hisses in your ear as you miss the keyhole a few times. “For the last six weeks all you’ve done is toy with me and—”
Her breath hitches when she presses her front to your back and slides her hand up the skirt of your backless sundress to feel the stickiness forming between the plush of your thighs.
When you finally force the door open, Abby’s kicking off her shoes and her fingers are making work of her top buttons. You’re quick to swivel on your heel, shoving her roughly against the front door to push up on your tiptoes and pepper kisses over the curve of her jaw.
“Me?” you huff petulantly, an uncharacteristic gleam in your eye as your fingers are deft on her belt buckle. You unbutton her dress pants. “You waltz in here all the time looking so…so…fuckable.”
Abby nearly chokes on her breath.
“And you try to play coy, but I see right through you, Abby,” you say in such a gooey tone. She throws her head back and moans. “I see the way you look at me. The little things you do. You’re not subtle Anderson.”
And that’s new. Calling her by her last name.
Your hand’s down the front of her pants, under her boxers and you feel it. How wet she is. Feel the slick between her folds as you circle her clit.
“Oh, fuck,” she breathes, lips parted as she takes the sight of you in.
“Wanna make you feel good,” you sigh, biting your bottom lip as you stare up at her.
She nods eagerly.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you hum.
Her hands come up to cup your cheeks, leaning down to steal a few kisses before her hand’s wrapping around your wrist and pulling you from her heat.
“Open,” she barks, guiding your fingers to your lips.
You do so without argument, the taste of Abby making your eyes hood.
You make a noise in the back of your throat, and Abby’s walking you back towards your bedroom.
“You wanna make me feel good?” she asks, back of her knees hitting the edge of your mattress. She’s got you situated between her legs, shucking off her top and shimmying her trousers and boxers off in one go. “Then get to work.”
She’s spreading her legs, gaze locked as you lower until you’re eye level with her cunt. The pale moonlight that filters the window making it absolutely glisten.
You’re kissing the skin of her inner thighs, hands on her knees as you glance up at her, only find her with her bottom lip tucked harshly between pearly teeth.
“Want you bad,” you admit breathily, biting the taut skin before laving at it with the flat of your tongue.
All you receive is a shaky breath, seemingly knocking the words straight from her lips.
“Nothing?” you taunt, biting the other side.
Abby’s opening her mouth to say something snarky, but your lips are on her clit and your middle finger’s sliding in with ease.
“Jesus, fuck,” she whispers breathlessly.
And you’re smug as you eat her out, vibration of your moans rumbling through her core when she threads her fingers through your hair and tugs ‘til the tension in your scalp stings deliciously.
“Shitshitshit,” she chokes when you add another finger.
Under normal circumstances, she’d be embarrassed when her body locks up and her legs shake after what seems like only mere moments, but after she comes down and the fog clears, she’s wiping that smirk off your pretty face.
The sight is one to see, Abby leaned against your headboard with your back plastered to her front. The skirt of your dress is scrunched around your waist, flimsy straps knocked from your shoulders.
She’s merciless, thick fingers plugging you full.
“Ah, Abby,” you hiss, hand wrapping around her wrist.
“Can’t get over how tight you are.” She bites your earlobe. “You can barely take two.”
As testament, she stuffs you deeper. The squelch is downright filthy, your arousal pooling down your slit and onto the sheets. For a moment Abby’s pulling her digits from your heat, spreading her fingers in front of your face to show you the stringy strands of clear that web her knuckles.
“See that, princess? See how wet you are?” she teases, other hand taking a palmful of your tits while her mouth maps each blemish and mark with kisses across your shoulders and neck.
“So fuckin’ pretty like this,” she husks. “Wish you could see how pretty you look.”
You throw your head back, chest heaving as her fingers curl inside the spongy walls of your cunt and applies such a toe-curling pressure against the spot that has you seeing stars. It makes your back arch, knees twitching against the legs that Abby uses to keep your thighs spread.
“You gonna cum, pretty girl?” she whispers, blowing air against the shell of your ear as her ministrations grow sloppy.
You nod quickly, body tensing.
“M’gonna fuckin’ cum,” you whimper, “Please, Abs, don’t stop. I’m—”
Abby could cum all over again when your chest pushes forward into her hold, head lolling back against her shoulder as you let out a pitched whine that sounds a lot like her name.
“Fuck!” you swallow, falling slack against her sticky skin as you gush.
Her other hand drops to your clit, lazy circles making your pussy clench around the fingers still stuffed inside.
“That’s right, princess,” she huffs. “Cream all over my fingers.”
Your breaths stutter, pussy clenching as you let out a needy little moan.
“So good,” she praises. “Such a good girl.”
And you’re absolutely boneless, head knocking gently against hers as you push further into her chest. You feel her weight shift as she reaches, then the gentle feeling of her cleaning you up despite sleepy overstimulated protests.
It’s warm in your room as Abby slinks down the pillows and pulls the covers up. Her chin rests on top of your head as you cozy up to her, mumbling about how much you like her and how you’ve waited for such a moment.
You don’t remember the last thing you say before you doze off.
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Abby does, though.
It keeps her up the entire night. Has her eyes blown wide as she stares up at the ceiling and the weight of the evening dawns on her.
Always wanna be with you. You’re my person.
And she doesn’t know how it’d gotten to this point. How did she let herself get so entangled with you? She’d always been aware that there’d been something there, that she was crushing and was almost a hundred percent sure you reciprocated, but this was far more than she’d anticipated.
It’s a step away from the ‘l’ word, and she’s not so sure it’s something she’s willing to fall into.
So Abby does what she does when she’s scared and she’s running. She’s replacing herself with your pillow as the sun comes up, heart squeezing when your cheek nuzzles against the fabric and your lips part to blow a breath.
She’s dressing as she makes her way to the front door, takes a final look at the polaroid wall that stares back at her as she tugs her shoes on, and slips out of the apartment building into the chilly Seattle air.
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You’d been prepared for a lot of things growing up and into yourself. Had learned to swallow the bitter side of sweet, but nothing could have prepared you for the splintering feeling of Abby’s absence.
You wake up a few hours after she leaves, naked and hugging one of your pillows. The apartment is eerily silent as you wait in stillness for any signs that she’s just an early riser.
There’s no shower running, no clattering in the kitchen, no shuffling in the hall. And when you survey your surroundings, comforter wrapped around your shoulders, you suck in a deep breath.
Maybe she has work.
It’s a futile attempt to rationalize the situation, but you know Abby. Know that she’d leave a note, maybe a text, or—
You scramble for your phone, but deflate when you find a notification to water your virtual plant. For good measure, you open her text thread, but all that stares back at you is the confirmation that she was picking you up the night prior.
“Oh, Abby,” you whisper to yourself, something like sickness making your stomach twist.
The cursor blinks, keyboard clicking as you type and retype anything that’ll confirm that maybe you’re just being paranoid, reading into things too much.
So you settle on good morning 💘.
It’s almost instantaneous.
Read at 7:47am.
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It takes a little under two weeks for Abby to surface again. Not without ample prodding. You’re a communicator, she realizes, as she sits outside of Jo’s Coffee and stares down at the string of texts from you over the past week and a half.
pretty girl: good morning 💘
pretty girl: have a good day at work
pretty girl: i made dinner if you wanna stop by
pretty girl: can i swing by the station with lunch?
pretty girl: just want you to know that i’m thinking of you
pretty girl: meet for coffee? wanna see you.
pretty girl: text me whenever you’re comfortable, i’ll leave you alone til you’re ready 💗
That final text is what makes her crack. Makes the guilt eat away at her. So she messages you when her shift is over.
me: jo’s at 4
pretty girl liked ‘jo’s at 4’
She looks up when the chair across from her scrapes against the concrete. You drop into the seat, fresh-faced and obviously newly showered. But she can see it in your eyes, the bags that puff like you’ve been crying.
And you have, even if you won’t admit it, because Abby’s the closest thing you’ve felt to what love could be like and these past two weeks have been agonizing as you try to pick apart every single facet of your situationship with her.
“How are you?” you ask, giving her a weak smile over the table.
“Good,” Abby lies, but you don’t see through her poker face and it stings, thinking that she’d been so unaffected by all of this.
You nod, fiddling with the fake leaves of the center piece.
“I missed you,” you admit shakily.
And fuck, did Abby miss you too, but she can’t find it in herself to face her fears head on. So she just nods, biting the inside of her lip.
“Didn’t miss me?” you tease, trying to make light of the situation.
“I don’t think we should see each other anymore,” Abby cuts to the chase, words leaving her lips like a shot that echos in the night.
It makes your ears ring, your brows furrowing as your lips twitch into a frown. Abby braces herself, knows what a brewing argument feels like. It’s sick to say that it’s familiarity, that sharp words and hoarse voices are a norm.
But you just shrink in your seat.
“Why?” you whisper.
Abby sucks in a deep breath.
“You don’t remember what you told me?” she asks like an accusation.
You blink.
“You told me that you wanted to be with me. That I’m your person,” she says.
And you wonder what’s so wrong with that. Especially when you’ve spent two months glued, when you were so sure it was mutual.
“I do,” you affirm softly. “You are.”
Abby squeezes her eyes shut, shakes her head.
“I’m not—” She clears her throat. “I don’t want a girlfriend. I don’t need the distraction. Especially not now with work and my personal life.”
Ouch. That had hurt, Abby calling her time with you and any subsequent moments nothing more a distraction.
“Oh.”
She doesn’t know why your response frustrates her, makes annoyance pinch the back of her brain as she takes you in, but it does. Full force.
“We’re better off as friends,” Abby says. “It’s easier, it’s—”
“Friends don’t fuck each other, Abby,” you say simply, and the calmness in your tone makes her upset.
She’s used to the shouting, to the arguing and being at each other’s throats in conversations like these. But you never fail to amaze her as you keep your composure.
“I have no intention of sleeping with you again,” she says stonily. “That night was mistake. I hadn’t been with someone in months and you were giving me attention and—”
In her frustration with the entire conversation, she hadn’t realized that tears were pooling in your eyes. That you were trying not to cry.
Her face softens when she notices.
“I’m sorry, I just—”
“You what?” you murmur. “What were these past three months, Abby?”
“I dunno,” Abby sighs in annoyance. “Two people enjoying each other’s company? We were drunk and—"
You simply nod, knuckling away the brimming tears before shrugging your bag over your shoulder.
“Where are you going?” Abby sighs when you stand.
“Home,” you answer quietly. “Whatever. Let’s just forget any of this ever happened.”
She grabs your arm over the table, opening her mouth to apologize again, but you’re shaking her off.
“Take care of yourself,” you tell her.
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The days blur like the edges of a muddy watercolor.
You start to think that things could look up, that maybe Abby was put in your life for some reason you’ll uncover in the future. But the universe can be so cruel sometimes, knows exactly what to do to shatter the broken pieces you’d tried so hard to glue together.
It comes in the form of a night out nearly a month after you’d last seen Abby. She made no additional efforts, just left you wondering if you’d imagined it all, and your friends are especially tired of your moping.
It’s a surprise!
And you’re not really one for surprises. Especially not now, but they’re dragging you out, carting you across town. Your stomach sinks to your ass when you see the familiar neon lights. Feel your chest tighten on the trek up the stairs to the same bar that preluded your spiral.
You could throw up when you’re situated in a booth with your friends and you glance at the bar by chance.
Abby’s leaned against the counter top, looking as good as ever, but she’s not alone. There’s a girl that hangs off her shoulder, skin umber and eyes warm. She makes no moves to distance herself and you don’t know why you feel the anger begin to sizzle. Abby hadn’t been yours in the first place.
“What do you wanna drink?” one of your friends asks.
“Nothing,” you answer stiffly.
She follows your gaze to the countertop, sees the way your eyes burn.
You’d kept your situation with Abby private, didn’t want to jeopardize such a potentially good thing with your well-meaning meddling friends at such a fresh stage. But now that it’s soured, you stare openly.
“That’s her, isn’t it?” she asks, and your avoidance is answer enough. “C’mon, let’s show her what she missed out on.”
As it turns out, it doesn’t seem like much. Because she doesn’t even blink when you sidle up to the counter with your friend, three patrons between the two of you.
You’d always thought the two if you had a sixth sense for the other, but Abby’s oblivious to her surroundings, too engrossed in her drink and the pretty brunette hanging off her shoulder.
One of the bartenders goes up, asks what he can get for the two beautiful ladies, and your ears perk when her voice sounds. Nearly throw up the empty contents of your stomach all over the bar top when you see the way she slings her arm over the girl’s shoulders.
“Another vodka soda for my girl.”
She’s buzzed, you can hear it, but it’s the most sound declaration you’ve heard from her in the time you’ve known her.
You break away from the bar, and you run.
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Abby feels like a shell of herself.
She’d gone out over the weekend, celebrating a visit from a close friend from the east coast. And it’d done a good job of numbing the pain for a little while, of taking her mind off of you.
But it’s Tuesday, the first day of her rotation this week and she hates that this feels worse than her previous break-up despite the unlabeled status of your relationship. You hadn’t even put up a fight, just took her rejection in stride.
It makes her feel infinitely worse, knowing you didn’t have it in you.
She doesn’t even realize she’s spaced out in front of the drink coolers of the convenience store after her shift when a voice snaps her out of it.
“S’cuse me.”
And she knows that voice. It’d been her greenlight all those nights ago.
Your little sister is brushing past her, going straight for the Body Armors and Gatorade. She must feel the way Abby stares because she’s side-eyeing the older girl from her post.
“Oh, it’s you,” she says, turning her nose up in the air.
Abby swallows.
“Hey to you too,” she says hesitantly.
Your little sister humphs, snatching the golden berry flavor and a yellow Gatorade. Abby takes a moment to glance at her basket, sees fever medicine and Tylenol among other things like instant ramen and Vitamin C gummies.
“Are you sick?” she asks.
Your little sister’s face screws up in annoyance.
“No, but my big sis is,” she says matter-of-factly.
That information makes Abby’s heart sink.
“She alright?” she asks carefully.
“She’s seen better days no thanks to you.”
And on a normal day, Abby would laugh because your little sister is witty, just like you. Can see where she gets it from. But right now, all she can imagine is you bed ridden and coughing up a lung.
“I can take a look at her,” Abby offers suddenly. “I—”
“Yeah fucking right,” your sibling scoffs.
Her language stuns Abby and this time she really can’t help but chuckle.
“You think this is funny?” she gripes. “You broke my sister’s heart. She’s been so fuckin’ sad because of you and you’re laughing.”
Abby sobers up quick, shakes her head.
“No, no, that’s not—,” she splitters urgently. “I– I’m laughing ‘cuz you’re just like her.”
Your little sister doesn’t look convinced, uses the back of her hand to wipe her nose as she levels Abby with an unrelenting stare.
“You suck, y’know that?”
“Yeah,” Abby sighs, hands flailing in defeat. “Trust me, I know.”
“And you’re a pussy,” your little sister adds childishly. “I know you really like my sister.”
Abby doesn’t even bother denying it, just stands there with a prepackaged sandwich that pales in comparison to your cooking and a diet soda.
“I do,” she affirms quietly.
“Then do something about it,” she says surprisingly. “My sister’s a catch, the coolest person I know. You’d be the biggest fucking dumbass if you don’t lock her down.”
And her candidness makes Abby crack a smile.
They stand there for a few moments in silence before your little sister is shoving the basket in Abby’s arms and prancing down the aisle.
As soon as Abby’s paid, black plastic bag in her grasp, she finds that your little sister has lingered outside of the convenience store.
She’s shoving a key in her hands.
“She’s too tired to open the door,” she says. “She likes extra lime in her ramen and runny eggs. Also hates swallowing pills so you’ll probably have to crush it up and put it in her water or something.”
“Who’s the EMT here?” Abby grumbles.
Your little sister pins her with a narrowed look.
“Don’t fuck this up Anderson,” she warns. “If Big Sis asks, I took a train to the mall to meet up with my friends.”
And just like that, she flounces away.
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You’re asleep when she sneaks into your apartment.
She kicks her shoes off, sets the bag of convenience store goods on the kitchen island before padding through the living room to peek into your room.
Buried under a mound of blankets, just your eyebrows and forehead peek from the top as you snore softly. When she peels the covers away, she not only finds that you’re sweaty and your cheeks are flushed, but you’re wearing her favorite hoodie.
She hadn’t realized she left it here, but seeing you in it has her sinking to her knees by your bedside, chin resting on her bent arm.
“Hi, angel,” she whispers quietly, pushing the sweaty strands of hair from your face. “Missed you.”
You don’t budge, cheek smushed in your pillow as you snooze peacefully. And maybe she shouldn’t have come here, because all it’ll take is you asking her to stay.
She tucks the blanket to your chin, leans forward to press a kiss against your temple.
In the kitchen, she’s only reminded of how much she misses you. Misses this. She’d spent nearly everyday here during your time together. Brushed shoulders with you while you guys cooked together, leaned against the counter while you took extra care plating her food despite her protests of ‘we’re gonna eat it anyways’. You guys frequently laid out on the living room floor, snacking while watching movies, flipping through coffee table books or getting existential.
She’d made so many memories here, made a home out of you.
The thought stirs something emotional inside of her, makes tears prick the corner of her eyes as she rips open the packet of ramen and digs the seasoning sachet out.
Frustration wells as she goes through the motions in your kitchen by herself. Wonders why you had to go and be so fucking wonderful and make her fall for you.
She’s halfway through and angrily brushing her tears away when she hears your door creak open and your voice croak your little sister’s name in question.
When you stand in the doorway of the kitchen, her name is falling from your lips.
“Abby?”
You rub your eyes momentarily and Abby feels like the biggest piece of shit on the planet as you stand there with the hood of her pullover on, Christmas pajama pants and some crew socks.
“Hi,” she breathes.
“What are you doing here?” you ask, bewildered eyes bouncing around the kitchen as you take in your surroundings. The bags under your eyes are swollen, your lips chapped as you fidget in the archway.
“I ran into your sister at the convenience store,” she admits. “She said you were sick.”
“And?” It’s like you can’t fathom the fact that Abby would have any concern for you. Something like anger bubbles at the idea.
“What do you mean and?” Abby asks, eyebrows furrowing. “You’re sick and I… I care about you.”
There’s that normalcy again, that familiar feeling of emotions beginning to reach its boiling point. But she’s not angry at you. Could never be when all you’ve been is perfect to her. And perhaps in the back of her mind that plays the tiniest role, because you’re everything she could ever want, need, but she steady fucks it up every go around.
“Do you?” you whisper.
You look small, defeated, unable to meet her eyes.
“Of course I do, what are—”
“You really hurt me, you know that?” Your breath hitches. “You came into my life like fate, over and over again. Still do apparently. And you— You made me like you more than I’ve ever liked someone in my life. You let me see you, let me fuck you, let me… let me…”
It’s your first real display of heightened emotion. You don’t bother trying to hide your tears, or hide the way Abby’s built you up and ruined you these past four months.
“And then you just left.”
The lump in her throat nearly chokes her breathless.
“I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, y’know?” you continue and Abby’s hands tremble. “That maybe you really just needed the time for yourself, but then I saw you, and—”
“Saw me what?” Abby interjects. “Where?”
“At the bar,” you squeak. “She’s really fucking pretty, and I hope she makes you—”
“What are you talking about?” Abby grills, taking a step towards you.
“If you didn’t want to be with me, if you didn’t feel the way I felt about you, you could have just said that,” you whimper, dashing the tears away in embarrassment. “You didn’t have to make an excuse about not wanting a distraction.”
“I’m so lost right now,” Abby says. “I—”
“I saw you at the bar this weekend,” you tell her straight. “You were with a girl, called her yours.”
And that floors her. She’s almost a hundred percent certain she would’ve felt your presence a mile away, But as you reveal that you’d only been meters away from her, the closest you’ve gotten in weeks, it makes her gut pinch.
She wracks her brain, tries to recall that weekend, tries to think of any woman who’d give you the idea that she’d choose anyone but you.
She draws a blank at first, but then she remembers the bartender’s passing comment.
You and the birthday girl are too sweet.
Abby had fake retched and Nora’d drawn out an exaggerated ewwww as the bartender set the vodka soda before them.
She’d been far too engrossed to realize that you’d been in the vicinity. But she’s not so sure she would’ve done much to take advantage of your presence if she had.
This is her first act of courage in months and she’s falling head first as she crosses the berth between the two of you.
When she stands a few inches away, you look up at her, thick lashes wet and nose snotty. You look like a mess, but Abby’s always thought you were beautiful.
“Nora’s not my girlfriend,” is the first thing she says.
You think you should feel relief, some semblance of hope flickering, but this feels a lot like uncertainty and you hate the limbo.
You don’t say anything, just wipe your nose on the back of your hand.
“I’m sorry,” Abby whispers, hands coming up to grasp your shoulders.
You make a noise in the back of your throat, corners of your mouth turning down in that telltale sign that you’re not done crying yet.
“C’mon, angel, stop crying,” Abby says weakly and the nickname makes your stupid heart flutter.
Her thumbs are brushing underneath your eyes, over the puff of your eyebags before she’s crushing you to her chest, one hand cradling the back of your head, the other winding around your shoulders to keep you anchored.
Your arms wrap around her waist, taking in the scent of her pine body wash and the softness of her detergent.
“I hate you,” comes your muffled hiccup.
Abby only hugs you harder.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
And perhaps she deserves that, but you’re pushing your face further into her chest and she barely hears you.
“I missed you,” you admit a second later, back of her work shirt fisted between nimble fingers.
A shuddering breath leaves her at the admission, makes her body relax as the two of you stand at the edge of your kitchen.
“Missed you,” she murmurs, savoring the way your body feels melding against hers for the first time in weeks. “Fuck, I missed you so much.”
“You’ll stay?” you whisper.
“Yeah, yeah,” she assures you. “I gotta go home and get some stuff, but of course I’ll stay.”
Your hold tightens and your head shakes.
“I mean stay, Abby,” you clarify. “With me. Don’t…don’t run away anymore.”
Her breath catches in her throat, a new onslaught of tears choking her as she nods fervently.
“Yeah,” she croaks, kissing the top of your head. “M’not going anywhere.”
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BONUS
You don’t know where the time goes. It all seems to blur together in the moments you spend with Abby, and before you can wrap your mind around the fact, a full year has passed the two of you by.
“You look so pretty,” Abby comments, sitting on the edge of your bed with her legs spread.
She’s watching you through the mirror, blue eyes piercing and unblinking.
You don’t think you’ll ever get used to the way she always seems to make you warm.
“Thanks,” you mumble, unable to hide the smile that twitches while you screw the cap back onto your lipgloss to take one final look at yourself.
“Not gonna say it back?” Abby feigns annoyance, pushing up from her seat to wrap around you, one hand bracing against the dresser as her chin drops to your neck.
“Then it’d be insincere,” you deadpan, head tilting to rest against hers.
She humphs under her breath, shamelessly sliding a hand up your dress.
You stop her fingers in their tracks, pushing off from the drawers to create space between the two of you and alleviate the warmth beginning to bloom behind your navel.
“We’re gonna be late for Nora’s birthday,” you quip, fingertips barely brushing the doorknob before Abby’s hands are gripping your waist.
She’s hoisting you to throw you against the mattress playfully.
“She’ll survive if we’re ten minutes late,” Abby assures you wolfishly, climbing over you to cage your body between her thick thighs.
“You’re gonna mess up my hair,” you whine, pushing at her shoulder.
Abby captures your wrists in one hand, other tilting your chin up to slot her lips between yours. The taste of the fresh coat of lipgloss you’d just applied makes her smile against your mouth.
She relaxes a fraction when you reciprocate, tongue languid. A noise of approval rumbles from her chest when you nudge her onto her back and bite down on her bottom lip. With a wicked glint in her eyes, she’s pulling away, hands resting against the curve of your ass.
Now you’re straddling her, manicured hands mapping from her waist to her shoulders to feel the ripple of taut muscles underneath. She’s tense, obviously waiting for your next move with bated breath and kiss bitten lips.
But then you shift teasingly over her zipper.
“Let’s go,” you hum, pressing a final kiss to her jaw before climbing off of her anticipating figure. “No dessert before dinner.”
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