#mean old man mckay
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"It's okay. It's okay. He's upset, because you're smarter than him. You guys know what chocolate is? No? This is going to be huge. Okay, come with me. We're going to go over here, and we'll leave the mean, old man alone."
#sga#stargate atlantis#aiden ford#cloe & casta#1x06 childhood's end#rainbow sun francks#hooking up pegasus children on chocolate#mean old man mckay
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watch me age 10 years after reading the short interview with ROP’s script writers
they are so lovingly applied, they aren’t even visible. Amazing.
having to take the passive aggressiveness of a 40+ year old white man-child in a Tolkien adaptation is something I never thought I would experience, but here we are, Mister Payne.
also, can you maybe stop using the “Well Tolkien never mentioned x thing” argument? You can use this as a template excuse to justify basically anything. Which is probably why you’re overusing it in the first place.
the hairstyles changing over time seem to apply solely to male elf characters, who now sport short, gelled up hair, mullets, fades and buzzcuts; and not the female elf characters, who still have long hair. How very gender normative of you! Truly, the public applauds you for your backwards views in this very contemporary adaptation.
amazing Mister McKay. I’m left in awe at your lore knowledge, yet I cannot help but notice you didn’t gave Galadriel her iconic braided crown hairstyle; the hairstyle that TOLKIEN DESCRIBED HER WEARING during the first age. You show that you know the lore, yet you seem to have put little of your knowledge into the show itself. This is truly and quite an amazing feat. Bravo.
i forgot who created this month old meme, to credit them, but it seems to be still valid to the discussion:
firstly, the fault is not that Galadriel is portrayed as a warrior. The issue is how piss-poor you’ve written her as one ( among other things I won’t go into here). You’ve basically written her as the most generic and unlikable manchild-warrior-protag ™
secondly, Nerwen is not a “nickname”, it is the name given by her mother because Galadriel was the tallest female elf among her peers ( and in all ME history, if we’re going meta), and because she was athletic, and liked partaking in sparring with other elves. She wasn’t called Nerwen because she was manifesting the manchild-warrior-protag ™ vibes you cursed her with. Maybe Mister Payne is projecting his own inner man-child into the character he’s likely writing for the script.
thirdly, since we are playing ‘taking the names as literal as physically possible’ game, did you know that her birth name, Artanis, means “noble woman” in elvish? Funny how we don’t see any of the diplomacy of a noble person in her character during your show. Interesting how you wrote her character to be brash and muscle headed :) with the social skills of a petulant child.
no. no, I don’t think I have anymore patience for this.
Source: The Hollywood Reporter Interview
#anti rop#anti rings of power#anti amazon#rings of power negativity#rings of power criticism#rop criticism#rop negativity#anti trop#trop negativity#trop critical#i feel ancient and tired
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"My slutty pirate outfit doesn't fit anymore." That's how she greets him as she strides into the lab--in her civilian clothes, the provocative costume that's been her staple since 1989 slung over her arm. "I know the new boss isn't going to let us have the night off without a fight, but I'd like the universe to cut me a little bit of slack."
It's less about the costume and more about the change. And the fact the team spent yesterday fighting off the ghosts of dead classmates, which is... fairly brand for October, somehow.
Tess has been arguing with Erik all day, and it's not hard for Hank to figure out why. It's textbook: she feels like she's losing control of her life, and therefore, she's digging her heels in and being stubborn over something that can be controlled. Like a night out, or cheap Halloween decorations. As for their leader, Magneto--is Magneto, and Tess choosing a tacky ghost windsock as the hill on which she's willing to die doesn't bode well for the future.
"Morph and I found it with the old Halloween stuff in the attic." She tosses the outfit--and a couple of old souvenir Halloween shirts onto an unused lab table and pulls up a chair for herself. Then she glances down and picks at a dust bunny stuck to her shirt. "Do you remember how hard we had to fight the Professor to get that Sleepy Hollow trip?"
(Tess. Tess fought him for the Sleepy Hollow trip.)
"I kept freaking out the horse the 'headless' guy was riding." So they bailed on the hayride, and Hank set up somewhere atmospheric to read from the copy of Washington Irving he'd brought with him. She smiles fondly at the memory, flicking the dust bunny to his pristine floor. "You had a bigger audience than anyone by the time you were done."
Her eyes are dark and thoughtful as she watches him swing from the rafters.
"I could get through to the Professor about things like that. Why it all matters and how it keeps us going when things get--" She bares her teeth for a moment, then shakes her head. "When they get the way they get. But I don't know how to make Erik see it."
[Forgive some of the language but it's Provocative Halloween Costume Talk and it's 1997.)
"You surely aren't telling me that Tess McKay, Provocative Privateer of the Ponderous Pools of Westchester, is no longer a fixture of our fair shores?" Hank glances up from his own costume - a startlingly accurate Hamlet outfit that he's patching a few errant holes and frills in, since it hasn't quite survived the interim year unscathed - and smiles at Tess as she strides into the lab with her usual confidence.
Hmmm. Where's his red yarn . . . ah!
"Oh, I remember quite completely. The Professor was very insistent that we couldn't blow our cover, that it simply wasn't wise to have that many mutants - including those of the physically mutated persuasion - out and about, even on Halloween. And you were very insistent right back, if I recall correctly."
Hank does recall correctly. (Of course he does.)
And, naturally, that perfect recall extends to Washington Irving, the self-same author of the Legend of Sleepy Hollow. How could it not? Even as he flips up onto the ceiling and clambers away from Tess to fetch his red yarn, the rafters clanging with each self-assured clasp of his feet to their reinforced structure, he doesn't lose a beat.
"“All these, however, were mere terrors of the night, phantoms of the mind that walk in darkness; and though he had seen many spectres in his time, and been more than once beset by Satan in diverse shapes, in his lonely pre-ambulations, yet daylight put an end to all these evils; and he would have passed a pleasant life of it, in spite of the devil and all his works, if his path had not been crossed by a being that causes more perplexity to mortal man than ghosts, goblins, and the whole race of witches put together, and that was - a woman.”
He has a big, teasing grin on his face as he regards Tess, his meaning and his joke plain. What kind of woman could possibly perplex man more than ghost, goblin or witch, hmmmm?
But, this is, despite initial appearances, a serious conversation, and his face mellows for a moment. He can definitely understand Tess' frustration, even as he perceives why Erik is having such a hard time letting them all relax. In amongst all the consternation about his trustworthiness, there's been little time to talk about his leadership style, and the fact that it could use a little work.
Obvious, in retrospect, when one considers his previous attempts to lead a force against the X-Men have gone - not well, but a fact easily lost in the shuffle. Magneto is excellent at charismatic charges against the enemy, logistics, battle tactics, but morale was never his strong suit, was it? How best to rectify . . . ah!
"Just a moment, I think I might . . ."
With a little puff of dust, Hank fishes a rather worn photo album out of a storage container underneath one of his many lab desks, and throws it with expert accuracy, the book opening along its spine and presenting its secrets to Tess.
'Inaugural X-Men Halloween Party, 1983.'
"For whatever reason, I appear to have misplaced Jean and Warren's pictures, I shall have to go rifling through my other albums for completion's sake, but, if you flick over the page . . ."
"Perhaps a reminder for Erik, that even the Professor was not above having a little bit of fun every now and then, might convince him that there is worth in the activity. He need not participate, but, if the Professor was able to convince Scott to let go for one night and simply dress up and have fun, I believe you and I are capable of the same, Tess."
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Watched the prelude in theaters today.
Loved the Kyoru Greatest Hits montage but if y'all had time for that then why couldn't you just give us more original content? Or better yet animate all the scenes you chopped from s3? Smh.
McKay doesn't give the same standout performance as Sawashiro imo but shes definitely not bad.
J. Michael Tatum...I remember thinking when the character designs came out that Katsuya kinda resembled Kyoya Ohtori with the glasses. And then Katsuya opened his mouth and that did not help with the confusion. He is legit charming though and I hate it.
Kyoko and Katsuya genuinely wouldve been such a good pair if there wasn't such a gross power imbalance. Like that man is her teacher. And also the first adult to ever actually listen to her. Can't blame her at all for falling for him but I sure as fuck can blame him for pursuing it. Musty ass.
The best part was after he died and I don't even mean that in a malicious way. The way that grief is portrayed and how it later manifested as part of Tohrus trauma in the main series is so well-written. Kyoko staked her whole life on this older man who promised to take care of her and was left with basically nothing except an empty house and a child she wasnt emotionally mature enough for.
The way her outfit resembles her middle school outfit too always felt deliberate. She literally regresses back to a scared little girl and its depressing af.
The Kyoru at the end. Jerry and Laura will always be my Kyoru. No disrespect to Manaka and Yuuma because they are wonderful but Jerry and Laura were my Kyoru when I was 12 years old watching low quality 2001 anime in parts on YouTube. And they've grown so much as VA's since then too.
"My stubborn girl" had me swooning. Atleast amidst all the grooming, we atleast got one healthy relationship out of this. 😭
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[Audio log #9 "case 2010 and 2008"]
Dr. Forest: So, doctor Rodriguez. May you tell me more about subject #2010?
Dr. Rodriguez: Why of course, 2010 was taken into custody on November 19th 2023. In the field report filed by operative McKay, it was said that 2010 was found crying in the woods with pitch black portal like rips and tears in the surrounding foliage, air, and ground surrounding it. The subject was said to not have put up much of a fight due to it falling unconscious, it has been tested that the creation of these rifts are caused by stress or when pressure is applied to the subject. Though 2010 has shown it can make fist sized two way portals that she can place an arm through and grab things that are near the second portal.
Dr. Forest: Portals hm? What do you suppose 2010 is?
Dr. Rodriguez: I myself was unsure of what origin 2010 is.. but, a man wearing a plague doctor's uniform approached me one evening and aided me with some research. We concluded that subject 2010 seems to resemble a six year old female shadowfolk, shadowfolk normally live in places with no light though some are rarely spotted roaming around in broad daylight. Though she is different from most recorded shadowfolk.. as I've previously stated, 2010 can create portals.. after this socialization test with 2008, 2010 will be put through a test that we believe will trigger its more powerful rifts.
Dr. Forest: Oh, you must mean Dr. Abel! He has also aided in my research of 2008, perhaps if you are in need of more assistance. I would gladly aid you in your research of 2010.
Dr. Rodriguez: I greatly appreciate the kind offer doctor Forest, but I will have to politely decline. I already have an assistant to aid me with 2010, besides- you and your research assistant must have your hands full with such a powerful capture don't you?
Dr. Forest: Ah- yes- about that.. I am currently taking on this capture case by myself at the moment. Though I did have an assistant before, Dr. Singleton was her name. Though Professer Ogden had informed me that she had quit and returned to her former foundation, I found it quite peculiar since she did seem to have a sort of bond with 2008.. but alas, there's nothing to be done about it now.
Dr. Rodriguez: Ah, do you believe that you will be in need of a new assistant?
Dr. Forest: No, I believe I can handle subject 2008 on my own by now. It apears to be very docile, contrary to the field report that was given to me on the 4th of November in which it said that 2008 reportedly caused the deaths and fatal injury of nearly 20 field personel before being gunned down by general Jacobs. Which gives me the theory that 2008 is in fact a docile specimen though it can be driven to extreme violence if provoked to do so.
Dr. Rodriguez: Doctor Forest, you do know that- wait a second what is 2008 doing-? [Click]
<"recording device off">
[End of audio log #9/11]
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✨️FIC ROUND-UP 1✨️
In the future this will be more about fics I recently read but for the first one, it will be some all time favorites. Fandoms are all over the place even if this is still a lotr/hobbit focused blog.
The Hobbit
all that shine as moonstone leave a discernible mark by kay_cricketed
After the Battle of Five Armies, Thorin Oakenshield is determined to secure Bilbo's place in the world, even if he must make him a husband and a widower in the same hour to do so.
(Devastating to this day but so painfully good)
Between One Breath and the Other by victoriousscarf
At a very young age, Ori had been told that dwarves loved once and forever.
While his mother sat behind him, braiding his hair slowly he found himself tilted his head back and asking her how he could possibly know. She smiled, hands sure as she plaited his hair. “You’ll know,” she said, fingers gentle. “You’ll see them one day and you’ll know.”
(The whole series is so good and really got me into the ship)
Until You See The Light by Lapin
Fíli and Ori have broken no promises. Fíli did not try to force a marriage on one unwilling, and Ori did not run from Erebor like a thief in the night. And yet, the two of them are paying for the crimes of their family. Somehow or another, they must find a way to make a marriage work, in between the politics and the old hurts.
Smaug never came to Erebor's door, but then, there are greater monsters than dragons in this world.
(Anything by Lapin in any fandom you like is gold tbh, but this one in particular has such amazing world building in it. It's unfinished and I don't know how likely it is the author will return to it)
SGA - Stargate Atlantis
Five Impossible Things Rodney McKay Did Before Breakfast by laceymcbain
Rodney hates that this is the day he’s going to disappoint everyone, and it’s little consolation he probably won’t be around to deal with the fall-out.
(Or the one where Rodney tricks Sheppard into leaving him while he reconfigures the shield when Grounding Station #3 is going to blow.)
(One fic I have read so many times I could probably quote it)
freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose by synecdochic
Because the meaning of life is "do the next thing", and we all carry the seeds of the past into our future. Futurefic, Rodney-centric
(The classic. I remember reading this in like 2010 on livejournal, I still love it, major character death warning, this is a fic about moving on and grief)
Edges by rageprufrock
"Dr. McKay--tell us about Atlantis."
(This one hurts, same as above)
DC
Exit Strategy by smilingbackwards
Batman needs a Robin and Batman has a Robin. Tim is just extraneous now, vestigial. He’s a bandage over a healed wound. He doesn’t know what he’s hanging on to.
Or: Tim didn’t expect his exit strategy from the Batfamily to involve quite so much bonding time with Damian over Wayne Enterprises bureaucracy.
(Fundamentally influenced how I think of Tim Drake:
"So much about them is so similar that Tim thinks Bruce has always treated Tim a little like a reflection of himself.
But Tim isn’t Bruce. He didn’t grow up angry, hellbent on justice any way he could see to get it. Tim grew up lonely, without even the memory of being loved to sustain him. What he wants from life isn’t the same as what Bruce wants. Tim wants connection. He wants to be thought of, however fleetingly. He wants someone, anyone, to love him.")
allopreen by envysparkler
Tim retreats to Titans Tower after he’s hit with Ivy’s pollen.
(Replace this with any other fics from this author, the perfect mix of hurt/comfort)
Asimov’s Integral by sElkieNight60
Tim is an unwanted android, a Robo-Child. After being sent back by his parents, his last and only hope rests in the hands of a man still grieving the loss of his own son.
“I didn’t ask for a replacement,” Bruce barked. “I don’t want a replacement! You can go back and tell the RCO I don’t need a replacement.”
Bruce Wayne didn’t want him. If Bruce Wayne didn’t want him, he’d be sent back and dismantled.
(Another amazing DC author, again so many good fics, Tim angst is best angst)
Brooklyn 99
the little ones are climbing up the walls by cashewdani
Her name was next on the list. That’s how she became Tess’ godmother.
(Fav b99 fic)
This round-up is heavily inspired by @captainkirkk 's weekly fic round-up, I think it's a very cool concept.
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Pigeons
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Characters: Rodney McKay, Radek Zelenka
Pairing: Rodney McKay/Radek Zelenka
Rating: G
Word Count: 848
Tags: Old Age, Established Relationship, Fluff, Bickering, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post-Canon, Pigeons
Summary: Just taking the daily walk to the park.
Notes: This fic is inspired by this tumblr post. More notes and translations at the end.
Read On AO3
Rodney pulled on his boots and tied them snugly, his back and knees creaking as he stood. He put his coat on, his arthritic fingers fumbling with the buttons.
"You never bought me a single coat without buttons. I swear you've been trying to kill me since we met."
"You are delusional. I have done nothing but support your arrogant ass for fifty years."
A lopsided smile grew across Rodney's face as he pulled a toque over his white hair.
"Forty-seven. And if by “support” you mean “follow me around like a lost duckling.” Then yes, you did." He lifted his chin. "Let’s be honest here, you imprinted on me and I just couldn't shake you off."
He could see the man looking at him from over the top of his glasses. “If I didn't love you," he said. “Už bych tě vyhodil z okna.” His eyes gleamed. “I když myslím, že ještě není pozdě.”
Rodney's smile broadened as he picked up his satchel, checking to make sure he had everything. "You know I can understand all that now, and I am one hundred percent sure your mother wouldn't be too happy to hear you threaten me with defenestration."
"Mm, yes, I am regretting past decisions." He pushed his glasses up his nose. "The first of which is introducing you to my mother."
Rodney swung the bag over his shoulder and opened the door. He grimaced as the harsh wind hit his face. "Jesus, you just had to love somewhere cold, huh?"
"No one said you must live here Rodney."
Rodney locked the door and rubbed his arms before starting the daily walk. "Are you kidding? If I’d left you to your own devices you would have blown up half of Europe."
"I am not the one who goes around destroying things." His lips tilted up, "I do seem to recall someone blowing up 5/6th of a solar system though." He held his palm out. "Is it possible that you know of this person?"
"Oh c'mon, that was forever ago." Rodney threw his hands up, "Could we all just move on already?"
"Maybe one could move on if one was not being constantly told he would destroy one's homeland if left to his own devices."
"Fine," Rodney turned into the park and rolled his eyes. "I'll stop telling you that."
His brows lifted, "And you promise this?"
Rodney was all teeth. "Never."
"Well, then I will never move on."
Rodney's lips trembled. "I wish that were true."
He sat on their usual bench and put the satchel next to him. He pulled out his lunchbox and a sack. He opened the lid and took out his sandwich. He snorted as the inevitable birds came off their perches to be closer to the food.
"How could you love these things?"
"Do not even start. They are beautiful creatures."
"More like rats with wings." Rodney said while chewing.
“Oh, “rat’s with wings,” he says." He throws a hand up. "Bah! They are nothing like some rat." He pointed into his palm." They are docile and affectionate creatures who have contributed more to civilization than any other species of bird." He held said finger up, "They can be trained to tell the difference between Bach and Stravinsky you know.” He gesticulated wildly, “But of course, people complain about them, call them rats. We are the ones that brought them here! And yet we forget and treat them like nothing. But they remember even if we don’t. They are intelligent animals who do not fear us because we domesticated them.”
Rodney opened the sack and sifted his hand through the small seeds."I love it when you get wound up."
He knew that man would pull back, eyes lighting up, a dimple-popping smile spreading over his face because Rodney didn’t say such things often and the thing was he loved it when Rodney got wound up too. It was just how they were, how they would always be. Rodney threw a handful of birdseed and watched the birds peck and coo.
He could see the man on the bench smiling down at them, holding his hand out to pet one, the backs of his fingers rubbing gently up its neck. "Jsi můj oblíbenec."
"That is disgusting," Rodney said fondly.
He scowled. "Rodney, they are less disgusting than humans."
"Yeah, well, I don't like those either."
Rodney smiled as he said it. He could see the man chuckling at him, eyes crinkling on the sides as they closed lightly.
Rodney finished his sandwich and sighed, wiping the crumbs off toward the group of happy birds. His throat tightened as he zeroed in on one with a bar wing pattern. Two perfectly symmetrical solid black stripes across each one. He spread a pile of seeds next to it. His hand moved slowly, making sure the bird was aware of his intent. He gently ran the back of his fingers up its iridescent green and purple neck. The pigeon cooed happily as tears welled up in his eyes.
"You would have been Radek's favorite."
As always, I would like to thank @all-mighty-yaoiyuri The Czech who checks my Czech. (ᕗ-^▿^)ᕗ ❤
More Notes:
Not going to lie, I cried several times while writing this, like, I am talking bawling my eyes out crying. And just so everyone knows, Radek died of old age, he did not suffer in any way and got to spend the rest of his life contributing to science and bickering with the man he loved the most.
Translations:
Už bych tě vyhodil z okna: I'd throw you out the window.
I když myslím, že ještě není pozdě: Although, I don't think it's too late.
Jsi můj oblíbenec: You're my favorite.
#I broke myself just a bit writing this#but I am quite proud of it actually#despite the sadness#sga#stargate atlantis#fanfic#myfic#twotalesff#rodney mckay#radek zelenka#ZelenKay#Rodney Mckay/Radek Zelenka#pigeons
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1. How many works do you have on AO3?:
9
2. What's your total AO3 word count?:
87,894
3. What fandoms do you write for?
I only write for Star Trek these days. I muddle between all of them as I tend to write for small background characters I've developed unhealthy obsessions with.
Back in my fanfiction.net days I predominantly wrote Star Trek Enterprise and Stargate Atlantis but I took a 20 year hiatus (more or less) in writing fanfic. I only really started writing again about 6 months ago because Star Trek Picard made me simultaneously so happy and so angry that my creativity just exploded back to life.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Not Your Typical Disaster Scenario (Discworld - Terry Pratchett)
Eight Down. Yellow Bird Who Goes 'Quack!' (Discworld)
A Way With Wordes (Discworld)
Come freely. Go safely; and leave something of the happiness you bring. (Star Trek: Picard, Star Trek)
Where the falling angel meets the rising ape (12 Monkeys (TV))
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Absolutely! Nothing makes my day like receiving a comment on a fic. I always make sure to leave them on fic I enjoy too.
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I think my fav kinds of endings are bittersweet rather than angsty. A lot of the time they end with lovers parting, willingly or not. Love me a 'doomed by the narrative' type.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
A Way With Wordes - it ends with a wedding announcement!
8. Do you get hate on fics?
No, which given that I've written for an insanely unpopular ship once or twice, is actually a little surprising.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
My good man/woman/rogue, I only write smut these days. I used to live for fluffy friendship fics, and I like to think I still inject a lot of tenderness into my work, but I am more motivated by the idea of becoming a good erotica writer than anything else these days.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I don't. I thought about writing a 12 Monkeys/Picard crossover but never went through with it.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yes. I had a bunch of Spock/McCoy poems I wrote back in 2002 reappear over a decade later on AO3 under someone else's name. Not an archive, just some guy pretending he wrote them. I honestly didn't care. They were exactly the kind of mawkish tripe you'd expect a 12 year old to write.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Back in my day, sonny, we wrote fics round robin style through hotmail.com or on the yahoo message boards. (So yes, but we're talking like 20 years ago. I don't do it anymore because I'm in too weird of a niche these days!)
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
Nebula class. Looks like a frog. I have a Nebula model on my desk that I replaced the decal of to make it the T'Kumbra!
OH, you mean like...OTP? Uh... I don't think I have one anymore? Back in the day I used to read a tremendous amount of McKay/Weir(SGA), Archer/T'Pol (Ent), and Jack/Sam (SG1) but these days I really enjoy reading about niche characters and ocs. Some of the best fics I've read this year have been oc/oc fics or obscure character(OC) and original character(oc) fics.
15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
You got me in between the devil and the deep blue sea - I was so taken with this idea when I started, then I got super sick and now whenever I think of working on it, I just feel tired again and don't. We'll see if I return to it.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I feel like I'm really good at setting a mood and drawing a person in with all their senses. I get a lot of comments about that.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I don't use one word where many will do. My chapters are way. too. freakin'. long.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I do this a lot, but I always put in the translations. If it's a sentence, I will place the translation after the sentence. If it's just a word, I'll put in a glossary.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Ever? Star Trek TOS and it was a Spones fic. On AO3? Discworld and it was Vimes & Vetinari.
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
I am obsessed with A Perfect Match. I love delving into Romulan and Vulcan culture and exposing the similarities and dichotomies of two arrogant characters like Letant and Solok.
However, I am also very proud of Not Your Typical Disaster Scenario which I wrote based on a piece of art I found super inspiring.
If you’re reading this and want to play, I hereby tag you with no pressure. 🥳
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I’m alive! And I’m gonna be rewriting/reworking Dimensional Disaster- editing our cast, practicing how I draw them, working on the story, etc. So I will be working on it again soon!
For now, though, I present y’all with a close look at two of our main protagonists: the redesigned Kailani Hale, from a tech-reliant universe, and the revived Alex Mckay, who in the story originally comes from the small town of Perfection, Nevada in a universe that isn’t quite as perfect.
Kailani Hale
Kailani originally comes from a futuristic, technology reliant universe run not by a government, but by a major corporation known as MATRIX. MATRIX is the sole producer of anything and everything technology-related throughout the nation. They control internet access, the media, the economy, the political systems, everything. They keep everything going.
Kailani wasn’t exactly someone at the top of the food chain in this universe- think, the middle man. She was a project manager and head engineer, supervising major projects that would be put into circulation nationwide and monitoring the work of those beneath her. She worked alongside the Directors to put new concepts on motion and improve the company for public favor. She was a neutral party in this world.
Until she stumbled upon a project that the owner and founder, Joseph Alt, had been working on behind the scenes. Project D-100, it was called. A device that resembled a pocket watch, able to open doors to hundreds of different dimensions.
She only meant to take a look; she was only curious how it worked. But that didn’t mean anything when the alarms went off, when security guards pursued her down the halls of the laboratory, shooting with the intention to kill.
Kailani ended up using the device to escape, and ended up in a completely different universe, just as it was intended to work. The only issue was…she didn’t know how to get back to her own universe. And there began her journey through dimensions, exploring and gaining friends across the fabric of the universe.
That’s how she met her best friend, Alex.
Alex McKay
Alex McKay hails from Dimension TR-3M0R, a seemingly normal universe to anyone who didn’t know better.
Nothing dystopian or utopian about it. Just the regular earth, regular people, regular little towns.
Alex is a young woman who moved from Bixby, Nevada to Perfection, a little town in the middle of nowhere to start her life after college. She started her own little farm, with small numbers of livestock and crop to live sustainably and sell to others either in town or the next town over. She got on well with her neighbors, like the old guy who turned his house into a bunker and the girl who ran what was formerly Walter Chang’s Market.
Life was great. Until she found herself face to face with an infestation of giant sand worms that the town lovingly called Graboids. That’s right. Alex comes from the Tremors universe, where the Graboids roam and the Shriekers and Assblasters get blown up into a pulp.
Alex did eventually grow accustomed to the weirdness of Perfection, to watching out for El Blanco the sterile Graboid and warding off other strange creatures. She thrived out in the small town, even in chaos. And then she met Kailani.
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I’m going to make a comic of how they met eventually. For now, have lore :D
#r-u-having-fun-yet#digital art#art#gray’s ocs#kailani hale#alex mckay#dimensional disaster#gray’s dimensional disaster
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Most of you who pay attention when I write on movies have heard me talk about this mysterious figure named “Adam McKay.” Yet I’ve yet to write a filmposting on any of his works. Naturally, the best film to start a creative retrospective of McKay’s mythic work with is the Will Ferrell vehicle “Step Brothers.”
Step Brothers is deeply stupid. Step Brothers is hilarious. Step Brothers is an oddly intelligently unintelligent comedy exploring the themes of blended families, delayed adulthood, and what constitutes the idea of success. There’s also a sequence in which a 13 year old makes Will Ferrell lick dog poop.
Again we come to “did the movie achieve what it set out to.” I’m starting to sour on this as a solid definition of a good movie, though Pacific Rim is still good and anchors that metric. Regardless, I loved it. Another triumph for Adam.
As simply a Will Ferrell vehicle (albeit one produced by 00s comic king Judd Apatow), Step Brothers is just a slapstick romp, but McKay (who I didn’t realize directed it until after the film was well on its way) takes it a step farther. The dialog, while stupid, is cleverly stupid, where you may laugh in spite of yourself but it won’t be out of pity. It’s a ridiculous movie but it isn’t bad.
Rather, this is a surrealist film taking your classic blended family plot of two young boys becoming friends an uniting against an older bully sibling and turning it on its head. The young boys are in their late 30s, their bullying brother has a family, a land rover, and is younger than they are, and the titular step brothers still act like they’re 12, down to crying at the table until their parents tell them to stop fighting.
I don’t mean this in a “grown men act childish” way that many comedies handle the manchild trope. In every metric, these are Man Children and that’s what distinguishes this from any other Jason Segal or Vince Vaughn “adult man never grew up” comedy from this era. They’re stuck in the “child of the 80s who never left” personalities that we’re seeing span into the 90s and also start to collect funko pops, and they’re building an injurious DIY bunk bed.
Of course I’m being pretentious about Step Brothers and it’s really not that deep. Director I have a love hate relationship with in an extremely parasocial way happened to make a good movie that’s best enjoyed with three beers in you and a grilled cheese about to join them (another win for theaters with alcohol). Surprise. But the thing is, though definitely sophisticated by any means, Step Brothers put a twist on this specific genre of comedy that’s special and should be pointed out. Maybe it’s just Adam McKay who can pull it off, but he pulls it off with just enough balance that it’s great and simultaneously not that deep. And I think I can get a tad pretentious about that at least.
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Lore | Horned God
[This one is a little longer]
Horned God may in fact be the horned GODDESS [hypothetically]
[Deer Goddess]
The Horned gods origins are a little tricky. There are sources that claim that the Horned god was originally the horned goddess.
Cernunnos, originally derived from old pagan myths of a horned ‘Goddess’ , a story about how a deer would turn into a woman.
In folklore society in 1930, a researcher put his theories on a matriarchal Hunter gatherer society ruling highlands of scotland as a pre-celtic deer cult. J.G. Mckay.
Modern Scottish Gaelic and modern Irish Gaelic dictionaries both give the word Fiadh having two meanings: “Deer,” “God.” The deer was some sort of god, as well as divine messenger, some type to the Goddess Artemis. How you had to ask permission to hunt.
In Faerie lore, deer are their cattle and a common form of Faire women, Witches can transform into mice, hares, cats or black sheep but never the sacred deer.
In many pagan animal-cults, the priest or priestess would often wear an ornamental headdress of the sacred animal.
There are Scottish folktales of a deer woman that Mckay theories could be explained by this real practice.
In these folktales, a hunter, who has been stalking deer, observes, when putting up his gun to take aim, that the animal changed into a woman.
He falls in love with her. Adventures ensue and they are separated until he finds her again on a distant island and they finally marry and live happily ever after.
The Deer Cult and the deer-goddess cult date back from a remote matriarchal time. Diana as well as Artemis and her nymphs, would appear to be classical examples of a hint at this older heritage. No one in patripotestal times, it would seem, would dream of inventing a feminine hunting divinity.
Celtic Society developed and created a masculine Horned God from the deer goddess and keep the feminine character next to him as a reminder as his shadow. By the stage the Deer Goddess matriarchy would have been in decay and her worshippers have grown fewer. While worshippers of the male Cernunnos became ever more numerous.
Today, there are whispers of this old Deer Goddess Cult in traditional German and English stag dances that are performed by men who dress themselves in women’s clothes, thereby preserving a memory of a former time when stag-dances were perfect by women, and of a later time, when the religious functions of women were usurped by men.
Shakspearen roots.
Swiftly moving on a couple thousand years, we come to the iconic bard, Shakespeare. Elizabethan english comedy abounds with images of the cuckold- a man with horns on his head, symbolising his shame that his wife has taken up with another man-
Herne the Hunter- from Shakespeare to popular culture. So at least thats where the name came from.
Robin Hood Myth [Horned God]
[Authors note: This website is not secured so take care also- these types of websites were the ones I’ve seen and how I came to know about Wicca]
The Horned God is the father of Robin Hood? And it’s Pagan?
The Horned god is a central theme/character in many european pagan faiths. Generally seen as a deity of woods, wild animals, hunting and virility he is an elemental force of nature and commonly identified as a male deity often the consort of the female force or earth mother.
This is the case in the Wicca religion where the horned god is worshipped as both the child and the consort of the great Mother, Triple Goddess.
There are some evidence that the idea of the ‘Lord’ and ‘Lady’ in Wicca is part of ancient tribal rites but such evidence is limited.
For many modern Wiccans the ‘Horned God’ sometimes known as the Great God or Great Father is his own father.
Mating with the Goddess at Beltaine then dying at Summer Solstice only to be reborn as her child at the new year, or Winter Solstice, he is a key symbol in the birth/death/Rebirth cycle.
The Horned God is known as the ‘Hunter’ has strong links in Britain with the idea of ‘Wild Hunt’ he is the taker of life, a vengeful spirit, hunting evil with a pack of demonic hounds.
He is often portrayed as carrying a bow.
The british Herne the HUnter is rumoured to survive still as a powerful spirit.
Herne is linked to Robin Hood just as Robin provided for the needy, Herne provided food for the tribe.
In some legends he is listed as Robin Hoods father, although this adds greater status to Robin Hoods legends.
He is portrayed has either having horns or Antlers, as well as his image is full of Phallic symbols.
Locations: There have been representations of Fertility icons for thousands of years as in the Altars of Stag Horns which have been found in Temples of Apollo and Diana in ancient Greece.
He is sometimes depicted with hooves or Goat hindquarters, a link to the Greek God Pan. Which of course had christians mistaken this horned fello for Satan.
Stag God image can be found in a cave painting at Trosi-Freres in France. This painting is thought to date around 13,000 BC known as the “Sorcerer” and depicts a half human, half stag spirit. This image is often seen as a representation of a shaman dressed as a stag performing a rite to ensure good hunting.
The Horned God is not an exclusively Wiccan concept as one would expect as many Pagan faiths have similar roots, the Horned god concept can be seen in the Greek God Pan, the Celtic god of the underworld and animals cernunnos, the Roman Janys, Tammuz and Damuzi the consorts of Ishtar and Inanna, Osiris and Dionysus as well as the Green Man mythological figure in the Uk.
The link with Osiris and Cernunnos which were both gods which guarded the underworld or judged souls and Osiris was both brother and consort of Isis seen by many as the Egyptian mother goddess. Cernunnos was a fertility god of the pagan celts and Gauls and is thought by many to have been the basis for the christian concept of the horned devil being a half man half goat guardian of the underworld and certainly a rival faith for early christianity.
The link between the Horned God and the Green man in English folk lore is very strong and even today many pubs in UK villages bare the name “The Green Man” often with a very pagan image on the pub sign. The Green man also known as ‘Green Jack’ or ‘Jack in the Green’ is an English spirit of trees and plants with the power to make it rain and crops grow well. The Green man is thought to share his home in the forest with forest fairies sometimes called “Greencoates” or Greenies depending on the region of the UK. In popular imagery the Green man is shown as face peering out of foliage, his wood spirit companions and fertility imagery clearly links him to Pan and also as a sort of sanitised Hern the Hunter and Wild hunter.
For many modern Druids and Wicca the Horned god is a key part of the birth, death, rebirth cycle and mentioned in many rites and celebrations, his imagery is powerful and has a strong attraction to many as a symbol of almost suppressed power / violence and male sexuality. Some modern pagans reenact the ancient rite where the hunter who brought the most/ best meat to the table was dressed in stag horns and furs and was rewarded with the right to couple with the priestess representing the goddess sometimes in front of the whole tribe. The few pagan groups that reenact this mostly do so symbolically or with the hunter and goddess being intimate partners already with only a small part of this “Great Rite” being performed before the rest of the coven.
#horned#god#horned god#LORE#witch#witchtok#witch community#witchcraft#witchblr#wiccan#pagan#wicca#Pan#belief#wiccan religion#baby witch#baby#Herne the Hunter#herne#the#hunter
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If you could make movies about Hank, how many would you do and what could we see in them? Like an origin story, specific storyline etc. Would it be live action or a cartoon/animation, if live action who would you cast as Beast?
Now this is a fun thought experiment!
So, I actually think that if I was going to focus specifically on Hank, I would want multiple series, each separated according to decade or periods of his life, as it were, and we're going to mix media a little bit. Bear with me. This is probably going to be a multi-part series, so, here's the first part.
60s/First Class
So, we start off with a live action series that begins in medias res - alarms are blaring, people are rushing through corridors, klaxons are bathing corridors in red light. Through it all, a young man with a frightened but determined look on his face fights through the tide until he reaches a room full of radiation suits. He pulls one on, takes a few deep breaths, and then pushes through into a reactor room that's clearly going critical.
No music. No dialogue. No sound, except for the thumping of a heart beat and the sounds of this intricate mechanism being cajoled, being calmed, being put right again, until eventually the alarm lifts. Now it's just the sound of heavy, panicked breathing, and the man keels over at the railing nearest to him as a group of men in identical radiation suits rush to him. He blacks out.
When he comes to, he smiles at the woman sitting beside his bed, and moves as if to kiss her, but she smacks his arm, before embracing him and kissing him. A doctor moves in to talk, but there's still no dialogue, just soft music. A small montage of people in suits, offering the man in the bed a lot of paperwork that he signs. Before long, he's well enough to leave the hospital, and he and his wife drive to a farm. They stand on the outskirts, arms wrapped around one another. Camera pulls back, revealing the name on the mailbox.
McCoy.
Cut to the intro, which is nuclear flames, genomes shattering, a mysterious, animalistic figure gazing out of shadow with yellow eyes that turn into spotlights, revealing the title of the show.
'X-MEN: BEAST - FIRST CLASS'
17 YEARS LATER
A young man who's the spitting image of the man we saw in this prologue sequence is being harassed by a young woman with blonde hair. They're talking about the last quiz they just had to take in Biology, and the young woman tells the young man that he needs to stop hiding who he is. How brilliant he is. He tells her that he's on the high end of normal, and she scoffs. They walk by a football tryout, where the coach is harassing his team, telling them that any old nerd could do better than them.
"You, McKay - over here, show 'em what I mean."
"It's McCoy, sir, and I don't know quite what you mean?"
The coach becomes ever more insistent. McCoy shrugs, shaking his head. He kicks the ball. It sails clean, hits the goal - at the other end of the pitch. The coach is flabbergasted. He wants McCoy for the team, but McCoy is uncertain - until the team kicks off, saying they don't want this gorilla on their team. One of them, identified as Janssen by his jersey, is particularly venomous, and McCoy gives him a coldly furious look.
"Coach, what position does Janssen play?"
Smash cut to the same number on the team, but with MCCOY on the back. Sports montage, naturally, with MCCOY as star player, intercut with the occasional side-eyed look from a parent or onlooker whenever he does something a little too amazing.
Jen is the love interest of the movie. She's great.
Final game of the season. Crowds are roaring, full football Americana experience. MCCOY is in full swing, but we aren't seeing things from his perspective, we're seeing things from somewhere up in the bleachers - from some kind of scope. It zooms in hard on MCCOY, a finger tenses, squeezes - misses. Screaming, hysteria. The scope view panics as MCCOY comes charging towards it, and we zoom out to see Janssen as McCoy clambers up the side of the bleachers with unnatural ease.
They fight. McCoy knocks the rifle away, but he's a little too strong, and Janssen nearly falls over the edge, and it's quite the drop. McCoy grabs him and stops him from going over, but he can't use his other hand to hold on to the bleachers and Janssen at the same time. He knocks off his shoe, and we get our first look at an oversized foot that looks to be as dextrous as a hand. McCoy moves to use this odd limb to help Janssen up.
Janssen hisses. Says he'd rather die than get help from a filthy stinking mutant that crawls all over human girls like he's a real man. He smacks McCoy's hand away, drops. We don't see the impact, but McCoy does. His eyes widen. He yanks off the football helmet and throws up, staggering as he climbs back up, just in time for the officials to come storming in. He looks red-faced, shaking. He looks guilty.
We cut to the farm. The McCoy family are quiet, withdrawn - worried. The parents keep looking outside, where their son has taken to disassembling and reassembling every piece of farm equipment available to him, as if that's going to make him feel any better. Edna and Norton talk, and they feel guilty, Norton especially, about the legacy they've given poor Hank, as we pan up over the kitchen counter and see a newspaper headline exclaiming about the mutant panic taking over the nation.
A knock at the door. Norton looks pale, so Edna answers - to a man dressed like some kind of Conquistador, which he identifies himself as. He brings out a sword and seems to cast some form of electricity with it, striking down Edna and Norton, drawing their son back to the house with a speed that defies thought, and it's only this lightning sword that stops him from bowling the man over right there and then.
The Conquistador wants this young man, Hank, to do him a favour - use his father's ID card to steal some specific components from the nuclear power plant he works at. He looks basically identical to him, he shouldn't even be questioned. His sword twitches in the direction of Hank's parents, and his jaw sets. He agrees.
A short, tense sequence at the power plant. Hank does the deed, but it's dangerous and it goes wrong, the alarms are sounded - but he gets away. He escapes to a warehouse where his parents are being held by the Conquistador's men, and the man is raving, rambling.
Hank trounces them, effortlessly. It's superhuman to watch, and Edna and Norton are wide eyed as Hank frees them, all of them silent. Norton opens his mouth, apologises. Hank doesn't understand, apologising for what? Norton gestures at Hank's obviously overgrown hands and feet. For that. That's his fault. Hank's expression darkens, and Norton realises what he's said without thinking, and he looks to Edna, but she doesn't know what to say. Behind them, the Conquistador is getting back up, pulling up his sword, aiming it at Hank's back.
A ruby red beam comes out of nowhere, blasting it away, and Hank turns around, to see . . .
The Professor explains who he is. What the people with him are, what Hank is - a mutant. Hank already knows, and the Professor smiles a little, because of course Hank does. The conversation continues, and Hank is interested, intrigued, even - he keeps glancing back at his parents, but they look very uncertain, even as they do their best to give him smiles and make sure he knows they're okay.
"There will be sacrifices, Hank. This won't be an easy life. But it will be a worthy one."
Hank agrees, but before he walks off with Xavier and the other X-Men, he embraces his parents one more time. He's holding them tighter than they are him when he lets go.
The series then adapts some 60s X-Men, some First Class stories - I'd definitely want to pull in the story where Hank and Bobby first becomes friends during a vacation road trip across the US; the Unus the Untouchable arc, where Hank becomes a wrestler; a momentary flirtation with Jean Grey, before he realises who she's pretty much destined to end up with; the beatnik foot cult; Magneto.
Costumes change, villains go by, and Hank is enjoying himself, growing, but as he grows older, he seems less satisfied.
Especially since we find out that Xavier wiped Jen's mind, and she no longer remembers Hank. For their safety. Hank is. Not pleased. It's the first wedge between him and the Professor, and they paper over it, but. It sticks.
Towards the end of the series, he receives a letter in the mail, and when it comes time to do Danger Room exercises, he's conspicuously absent. Xavier is oddly reticent to talk to him, and instead suggests that Scott, Bobby, Warren and Jean talk to him instead. Hank is in his room, the letter in his hands, and seeming torn. They all talk.
Hank wants to leave the X-Men. The very concept shakes them a little - the last time this happened, Unus attacked and they were nearly defeated - but the newfound confidence of having done this for a few years now means that they understand why Hank wants to move on. Everyone's been thinking about it, actually, Hank's just the first one to have a place he wants to go to rather than just 'not the school.'
They embrace. Bobby in particular takes a little longer than everyone else to let go, and it's clear it's killing him a little that Hank is going, but he does let go.
The final scene of the series is Hank in civilian clothes saying his final goodbyes. There's not a dry eye in the house. Jean kisses him on the cheek, Bobby hugs him way too hard, Scott clasps his shoulder, Warren gives him a fistbump. The Professor shakes his hand. They're all sad to see him go, but this is for the best.
Hank gets into his car, and starts it up. He looks back at the Mansion, the X-Men, wistfully, thinking, for a moment, that he should stop and go back. But in the end, he puts the car in gear and drives. As he leaves the Mansion, he adjusts the rear view mirror.
For the audience, Hank is replaced by something wearing his clothes. Dark furred. Monstrous. Unfamiliar. Familiar. Yellow eyed.
End credits. End of the series.
To be continued.
I actually have no idea who I'd want to play a young Hank, I'm not as up to date on young actors as I'd like, but I've been recommended someone called Noah Centino for a 17-20 year old Hank, so, sure? Whoever they are, they need to be able to pull off Hank's distinctive Superman curl.
I'd definitely want an almost sort of 'The Incredibles' tone to the X-Men sections of this series, where it's all deathly dangerous but the X-Men almost don't seem to realise until they do. Michael Giacchino does the score, because the man can do no wrong.
#outofmuffins#birdswings#blood tw#violence tw#This is going to get like intensely detailed so be warned.
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Media consumed during 2023
Books
The Secret to Superhuman Strength (2021). Alison Bechdel. 7/10
Salomé (1891). Oscar Wilde. 10/10
The Vampire Lestat (1985). Anne Rice. 8/10
Time is a Mother (2022). Ocean Vuong. 3/10 (I feel like an asshole, but I didn't like it)
The Queen of the Damned (1988). Anne Rice. 9/10
Infinity (2017). Hannah Moscovitch. 8/10
Bomarzo (1962). Manuel Mujica Lainez. 10/10
Stone Fruit (2021). Lee Lai. 9/10
The Vampire Armand (1998). Anne Rice. 7/10 (I hate Marius)
Mémoires d'Hadrien (1951). Marguerite Yourcenar. 2/10 (How do you make a bisexual emperor sound like a boring old man, Marguerite, how?)
The Tale Of The Body Thief (1992). Anne Rice. 5/10
Poems (1931). Wilfred Owen. 7/10
La Sed (2020). Marina Yuszczuk. 8/10
Spinning (2017). Tillie Walden. 9/10
Movies
Emma (2020). Autumn de Wilde. 8/10
Minari (2020). Lee Isaac Chung. 10/10
Das Cabinet des Dr. Caligari (1920). Robert Wiene. 7/10
Bones and All (2022). Luca Guadagnino. 7/10
Maurice (1987). James Ivory. 7/10 (the book's better)
Fucking Åmål (1998). Lukas Moodysson. 6/10
Die bitteren Tränen der Petra von Kant (1972). Rainer Werner Fassbinder. 6/10
Le Fil (2009). Mehdi Ben Attia. 10/10 (I would marry this movie if I could)
37°2 le Matin (Betty Blue) (1986). Jean-Jacques Beineix. 7/10
Salomé (1922). Charles Bryant, Alla Nazimova. 4/10
Interview with the Vampire (1994). Neil Jordan. 8/10
The Addams Family (1991). Barry Sonnenfeld. 9/10
Addams Family Values (1993). Barry Sonnenfeld. 7/10
Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio (2022). Guillermo del Toro. 8/10
渺渺 (Miao Miao) (2008). Hsiao-tse Cheng. 5/40
La ley del deseo (1987). Pedro Almodóvar. 7/10
და ჩვენ ვიცეკვეთ (And Then We Danced) (2019). Levan Akin. 10/10 (so, so, so sweet)
Morte a Venezia (Death in Venice) (1971). Luchino Visconti. 7/10
Disobedience (2017). Sebastián Lelio. 8/10
Shiva Baby (2020). Emma Seligman. 7/10
X (2022). Ti West. 5/10 (maybe I just don't like slashers; the music was 10/10 tho)
Back to the Future Part II (1989). Robert Zemeckis. 5/10
Ammonite (2020). Francis Lee. 7/10
Colette (2018). Wash Westmoreland. 6/10
The Duke of Burgundy (2014). Peter Strickland. 8/10 (unnerving and visually stunning)
Summerland (2020). Jessica Swale. 7/10 (Studio Ghibli vibes in a live action movie; a bit saccharine-y at times)
The Handmaiden (2016). Park Chan-wook. 9/10
The Favourite (2018). Yorgos Lanthimos. 10/10
Nope (2022). Jordan Peele. 8/10
Renfield (2023). Chris McKay. 6/10 (I liked the Nicholas Cage scenes, everything else was kinda meh).
Professor Marston & The Wonder Women (2017). Angela Robinson. 7/10 (sweet, romantic, entertaining, but at times it felt fake and manufactured, the way "based on a true story" movies usually are).
The Terminator (1984). James Cameron. 4/10 (it could have been 45mins instead of 1h45mins...)
Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991). James Cameron. 6/10 ("If you didn't like the first why did you watch the second?" Because I love my sibling)
Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade (1989). Steven Spielberg. 6/10
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992). Francis Ford Coppola. 9/10
The Silence of the Lambs (1991). Jonathan Demme. 10/10
Sycorax (2021). Matías Piñeiro. 8/10
Black Narcissus (Passion of the Swamp) (2022). Peter Strickland. 8/10
Carta a Mi Madre Para Mi Hijo (Letter To My Mother For My Son) (2022). Carla Simón. 7/10
Is It Too Much To Ask (2019). Leena Manimekalai. 6/10
The Actress (2021). Andrew Ondrejcak. 9/10
Shakti (2019). Martín Rejtman. 6/10
El Silencio es un Cuerpo Que Cae (Silence Is A Falling Body) (2017). Agustina Comedi. 10/10 (so sad, so tender, so loving)
Meeting The Man: James Baldwin in Paris (1970). Terrence Dixon. 9/10 (Something tells me this is an excellent documentary; but there's a lot about "talk about certain things in a certain way" and "you know what I mean?" and no, I don't know what he meant or what things and ways were those).
Aftersun (2022). Charlotte Wells. 10/10 (who will lift this elephant off my chest now?)
Vers La Tendresse (Towards Tenderness) (2016). Alice Diop. 6/10
Silvia Prieto (1999). Martín Rehtman. 9/10
Camarera de Piso (Maid) (2022). Lucrecia Martel. 1/10 (the audio was unintelligible)
Contes Immoraux (Immoral Tales) (1973). Walerian Borowczyk. 4/10
Ojo Dos Veces Boca (Eye Two Times Mouth) (2023). Lila Avilés. 8/10
Az prijde kocour (The Cassandra Cat) (1963). Vojtech Jasný. 8/10
O Ornitólogo (The Ornithologist) (2015). João Pedro Rodrigues. 8/10
Uma Paciência Selvagem Me Trouxe Até Aqui (A Wild Patience Has Taken Me Here) (2021). Érica Sarmet. 6/10
Squish! (2021). Tulapop Saenjaroen. 3/10
Fugue (2023). John Gianvito. 6/10
Η δουλειά της (Her job) (2018). Nikos Labôt. 8/10
Playback (2019). Agustina Comedi. 10/10
Maine Diil Nahin Dekha (I Am Yet to See Delhi) (2014). Humaira Bilkis. 1/10 (I have seen instagram reels with more argument and better structure)
Proyecto Fantasma (Phantom Project) (2022). Roberto Doveris. 7/10
El Vuelco del Cangrejo (Crab Trap) (2009). Oscar Ruíz Navia. 6/10
Ema (2019). Pablo Larraín. 9/10
Los Fuertes (The Strong Ones) (2019). Omar Zúñiga Hidalgo. 7/10
Phörpa (The Cup) (1999). Khyentse Norbu. 7/10
Նռան գույնը | Nran Guyne | Sayat Nova (The Color of Pomegranates). Sergei Parajanov. 10/10 (The weirdest movie I've ever seen, and one of the most visually stunning ones)
Voyage of Time: An IMAX Documentary (2016). Terrence Malick. 10/10
إن شئت كما في السماء (It Must Be Heaven) (2019). Elia Suleiman. 9/10
Potemkiniştii (The Potemkinists) (2022). Radu Jude. 2/10 (yes, I know the Russian government is evil, but please tell me something else)
Nr. 1 - Aus Berichten der Wach- und Patrouillendienste (From The Reports Of Security Guards and Patrol Services) (1985). Helke Sander. 8/10
Liborio (2021). Nino Martínez Sosa. 6/10
Sendiri Diana Sendiri (Following Diana) (2015). Kamila Andini. 6/10
Valkoinen Peura (The White Reindeer) (1952). Erik Blomberg. 4/10
Wadja (2012). Haifaa Al-Mansour. 10/10
La Femme Au Couteau (The Woman With A Knife) (1969). Timité Basori. 4/10
Tornar-se um Homem na Idade Média (Becoming Male In The Middle Ages) (2022). Pedro Neves Marques. 6/10
Un Garibaldino al Convento (A Garibaldian In The Convent) (1942). Vittorio de Sica. 6/10
Théo et Hugo dans le même bateau (Paris 05:59 Théo & Hugo) (2016). 7/10 (20 mins of porn followed by an hour and 10 mins about post-exposure prophylaxis and the importance of public health and transport systems)
Suplement (The Supplement) (2002). Krzysztof Zanussi. 7/10
天下乌鸦 (All The Crows In The World) (2021). Tang Yi. 6/10
L'Échapée (Escape) (2009). Katell Quillévéré. 8/10
An Exercise In Discipline - Peel (1982). Jane Campion. 1/10
La Amiga De Mi Amiga (Girlfriends And Girlfriends) (2022). Zaida Carmona. 2/10
Matka Joanna od aniołów (Mother Joan Of Angels) (1961). Jerzy Kawalerowicz. 8/10
Please, Baby, Please (2022). Amanda Kramer. 8/10
Magari (If Only) (2019). Ginevra Elkan. 7/10
Amansa tiafi (Public Toilet Africa) (2021). Kofi Ofosu-Yeboah. 5/10
Holy Spider (عنکبوت مقدس) (2022). Ali Abbasi. 10/10
Movies (II, 'cause I reached the character limit in a section)
Les Cinq Diables (The Five Devils) (2022). Léa Mysius. 8/10
Close (2022). Lukas Dhont. 10/10 (so, so, so sad)
Rien à Foutre (Zero Fucks Given) (2021). Emmanuel Marre, Julie Lecoustre. 7/10
Un Affaire De Femmes (Story Of Women) (1988). Claude Chabrol. 10/10
Serpentine (2022). Eva Doležalová. 2/10 (good photography, but the story is trite an shallow)
Strange Way of Life (2023). Pedro Almodóvar. 7/10
Belle (2013). Amma Asante. 6/10 (not terrible, but cardboard-y like it was written to teach middle schoolers history)
Series
Severance (2022-). Season 1. Dan Erickson. 7/10 (entertaining but i wanted more answers)
Atlanta (2016-2022). Season 1. Donald Glover. 9/10
Atlanta (2016-2022). Season 2. Donald Glover. 9/10
Atlanta (2016-2022). Season 3. Donald Glover. 8/10 (very uneven)
Atlanta (2016-2022). Season 4. Donald Glover. 8/10 (Mr. Glover, why was the last episode dedicated to product placement?)
The White Lotus (2021-2023) Season 1. Mike White. 6/10
The White Lotus (2021-2023) Season 2. Mike White. 7/10
The Last Of Us (2023-). Season 1. Craig Mazin. 9/10
Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown (2013-2018). Season 1. Anthony Bourdain. 8/10
Six Feet Under (2001-2005). Season 1. Alan Ball. 9/10
Six Feet Under (2001-2005). Season 2. Alan Ball. 8/10
Six Feet Under (2001-2005). Season 3. Alan Ball. 8/10 (Nobody Sleeps is my favorite episode so far; so close to my own understanding of what love is)
Six Feet Under (2001-2005). Season 4. Alan Ball. 9/10
Gravity Falls (2012-2016). Season 1. Alex Hirsch. 8/10
Six Feet Under (2001-2005). Season 5. Alan Ball. 8/10
Good Omens (2019-). Season 1. Douglas Mackinnon. 8/10
Good Omens (2019-). Season 2. Douglas Mackinnon. 9/10
Gravity Falls (2012-2016). Season 2. Alex Hirsch. 9/10
The Bear (2022-). Season 2. Christopher Storer. 10/10
Dictaduras Latinoamericanas (2016). Pablo Gregui and Marcel Cluzet. 3/10 (the episodes were way to short to teach me anything beyond common knowledge)
What We Do in the Shadows (2019-). Season 5. Jemaine Clement (?). 7/10
The Newsreader (2021-). Season 2. Michael Lucas. 10/10
Our Flag Means Death (2022-). Season 2. David Jenkins.4/10
Over the Garden Wall (2014). Patrick McHale. 10/10
The Fall of the House of Usher (2023). Mike Flanagan. 9/10
Misc
Pokemon Leaf Green (2004) 3/10 (beating the pokemon league was a debt from childhood but it was so boring)
Escape From Monkey Island (2000) 6/10
HBO's The Last Of Us Podcast (2023). Season 1. 10/10
The Procession to Calvary (2020). 10/10 (I expected a fun, silly little game and got exactly that)
Stardew Valley (2016). 10/10
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For your top 5 (or 10) fandoms who is your fave for each and why do you love them?
Oh god, that's a tough ask but boy howdy and I'm glad you said (or 10) cause honestly top 5??? Ooof.
This is gonna be a mix of new and old fandoms since, honestly, I feel like I've been part of so many TT^TT
1. Top Gun - Nick "Goose" Bradshaw
What can I say? His mustache and terrible fashion sense compel me (not me wishing my wardrobe was his). But on a more serious note, I just love how he is with Carole and Bradley. He's also Mav's rock; the comedic support and his vibes are just immaculate. He's very "man written by a woman" energy, a complete dork, and I love him.
2. Top Gun: Maverick - Tom "Iceman" Kazansky
Am I splitting hairs calling these two different fandoms? Maybe. Do I care? No. Because Ice needed to be on this list. I love him. I mean, look at that smile? Also, I think Ice is just one of these characters that everyone likes to paint as super serious, and I just??? Did this man not snap his teeth in a show of aggression? He's got a petty streak a mile long and knows how to keep up with Maverick verbally and in the air. He's got the range, and I love digging into him. Also also, it's Val Kilmer.
3. Six of Crows - Kaz Brekker
This one was hard cause I could have pulled another above and separated book from the show, but for the purposes of variety, I will stick with the book on this (if it was the show, it would be Jesper). I love my fictional men a little deranged and willing to burn the world down for the people they love. Kaz is honestly the epitome of that, even if he's very stupid about it. I genuinely love his character. He's unapologetically a bastard and self-aware enough to admit it without finding too much fault in himself. He's got depth and violence, and I love that.
4. 9-1-1 (TV) - Evan "Buck" Buckley
Buck is such a great character, and even after 6 seasons, he's still growing and coming into himself. He starts at such an interesting place as this earnest but dumb jock-headed fuckboy, and we get to watch him come to terms with himself, his struggle with intimacy and romance, and even now with his self-worth. I think Buck so easily could have been a stereotypical ego-driven character, but he's balanced on this knife's edge of cocky and sensitive, just wanting to do well for the people around him, that he's honestly very compelling.
5. Stargate: Atlantis - Carson Beckett
Carson TT^TT (if you know, you know). Look. I've got a thing for sensitive characters, and Carson is great. He's also a character that grows out of his cowardice and fear, and I love that for him. He's a bit of comic relief and a good mix of level-headed and completely done that balances out Sheppard's more boyish energy and McKay's snappish ego.
6. Supernatural - Gabriel/The Trickster
He's goofy, damaged, and makes it so sexual predators get eaten by sewer gators? Ummm? Yes. Gabriel could have been just a one-off character, monster of the week, but bringing him into the story at large and giving him this anger and hurt over the situation he can't control and thus, takes it on himself to force others into so they might feel like he does? I eat that shit up. He's not just this comic relief relatable angel, there are these brilliant moments with him that are just filled with depth, and I honestly can't get enough.
7. Beyond Evil (괴물) - Lee Dong Sik
Please see above with Kaz Brekker and my love for slightly deranged characters. Dong Sik is this seemingly confident character who is always 1 step ahead, always thinking, and quick on the draw with his quips. He toes the line of "am I crazy or just that much smarter than you" and fuck if it doesn't work. But fundamentally, he is damaged and traumatized, and when we get to see that? Witness the broken man beneath the facade of control? It's as beautiful as it is devastating.
8. Law & Order: SVU - Rafael Barba
God, never has a character had a better introduction to a series, in my opinion, than Barba. I mean... he literally let a sexual sadist choke him out in court with his own tie, I- christ above he's great. Dry humor, whip-smart, but not infallible. He's fun and funny in an interesting way, and there's just something about how sharp he is that's so great.
9. Star Trek (2009) - Leonard "Bones" McCoy
Southern, snark, and unofficial James T. Kirk brat handler? What's not to love. Also, sorry OG Star Trek, but Karl Urban wins this one. That being said, of all the remake characters, no one embodies the original well as Karl Urban does, so I could have swapped him with DeForest Kelly, and my reasons would still be the same. The sass and attitude are just so great. He's grounded and witty and a fucking joy on screen.
10. Underworld - Selene
She is iconic, and I would let her step on me. But also, as a character, I just really fucking love her? She's a badass, plain and simple, she honestly does what she wants and looks hot doing it, but more than that, I really appreciate her as someone who is distinctly cold and detached from the world and the people around her, but finds love that doesn't change her as a character, just elevates and encourages her choices. Her falling in love with Michael doesn't suddenly make her a ray of sunshine; it just gives her something more important to fight for than what she grew up believing she had to.
~
This was a lot of fun anon! Thank you for sending this in to me :3
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Comics this week?
Superman #2 - I love Williamson's Livewire and I pray she gets her own arc, her whining about needing to connect with her fans in hilarious. Moonlight made her debut here and she's both visually stunning and intriguing with her teases regarding the connection between Metropolis and herself. I guess last issue's teaser about Superman riding a horse is connected to her, I'm hoping that Terra-Man and her have history. This is easily the best Parasite story in ages, even if it's not one that really has fleshed out Parasite as a character, he's a major threat here instead of just being a cameo. For an opening act villain I'll take it, and Williamson has said Parasite will continue to appear after this arc, so we might get more fleshing out of him later on.
World's Finest #13 - Give Waid credit: despite solicits spoiling plot points months in advance, I still have no clue how Stagg's death is connected to this new Amazo (I'm assuming it's a fakeout of course). Now either Bruce getting arrested is all part of Batman's plan, or Stagg getting offed was done solely to frame Bruce, that's my guess on that ending. Nice to have Jimmy involved even if he unfortunately made things worse.
Nightwing #102 - Boring. There's no tension or sense of danger, the Titans just steamroll over everything in their way. Taylor's never been able to create the same kind of excitement with his in-continuity work as he has with his Elseworld stuff. He just doesn't know how to keep the villains feeling intimidating when he can't let them off a C-Lister every now and then. Also I keep getting annoyed at all the starts and stops with regards to Heartless, at least have him making moves in the background so he doesn't come off like he's just putting his grand plans on pause while Dick wanders off to play with his old friends until it's time for Nightwing to come back.
Swamp Thing: Green Hell #3 - Was this a transcendent work? No. Was this a damn good story and epilogue to Lemire's Animal Man run? Yes. Worth the wait in my opinion, although Mahnke's art did decline for a few pages here. Hope whatever emergency he had that delayed the book didn't permanently affect his skills.
DC's Legion of Bloom - My favorite story was the Superman one of course, if Wielgosz succeeds as a writer and eventually makes his way back to DC, I would love to see him do more Superman. Rossmo is a surprisingly great fit for Superman too. Also enjoyed the Porter Swamp Thing/Flash team up and it's got me even more eager to finally see if Porter did right by Conner with the upcoming mini.
Black Adam #9 - My main curiosity at this point is why Priest made these gods bacteria. Such a mundane origin, and he keeps bringing it up, there must be some deeper meaning behind it. Parallels with Adam's origins as a slave perhaps? Got a kick out of seeing how Priest calling attention to what a bore it is to actually rule a nation.
Dr. Strange #1 - Enjoyable if not anywhere near as good as the Clea series that preceded it. McKay seemed to have much more fun writing the hotheaded and assertive Clea over the much more zen Strange, but I do enjoy seeing the two of them working together.
Storm & The Brotherhood of Mutants #2 - Ewing said he was aiming to make a Wolverine type breakout character with Ironfire, is anyone actually begging to see more of this dude? Other than being a Storm sycophant, he's painfully bland. Even his powerset doesn't impress. Did like the twist that Storm doesn't want to reset the timeline because she saw the worth of the people in the SoS timeline, as broken as it was, their lives still mattered to her.
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TV Guidance Counselor Episode 589: Jason Klamm
May 14-20, 1994
This week Ken welcomes comedian, podcaster and author of the upcoming new book about 90s US Sketch Comedy (which you can and SHOULD purchase at sketchcomedybook.com), Jason Klamm.
Ken and Jason discuss podcasting, not making money with your art, The Vacant Lot, Exit 57, Amy Sedaris, getting turned down by a person's "people", Almost Live, The Bert Fershners, the nicest millionaire you know, Adam McKay, 9 Lives, UCB, Phil Hartman, Newsradio, history being written by the victors, sending flowers, FTD, Mrs. Doubtfire, weird places you got VHS tapes from, Star Trek The Next Generation, Laugh-In, Ruth Buzzi, Nixon, Nick at Nite, shows canceled after one episode, character vs plot, Ken's mean prank phone calls to Joe Piscapoe as a kid, MTV and Nickelodeon interstitials, Jimmy the Cab Driver, Toby Huss' Sinatra covers of 90s alt rock, Baby Jessica, Bob Hope, MacGuyver's Lost Treasure of Atlantis, COPS and the LA riots, terrible people on good shows, SNL, Heather Locklear and Janet Jackson, musical guests, Hee Haw, realizing T2 is the greatest movie ever way too late in life, not being allowed to watch violence as a kid, My Breast, Made for TV Movies, Lexi Alexander, growing up in Germany as a military kid, German kids toys, the final episode ever of In Living Color, Evening Shade, Burt Reynolds, hypernesia, Marylou Henner, Lori Laughlin in a brutal made for TV movie "One of Her Own", Reginald Veljohnson, Bob Newhart, loving Phil Silvers, being a young old man, Rescue 9-11, Clinton's favorite SNL sketches, Billy West, Searching for Grace, Sesame St's 25th Anniversary, Dr. Seus and Jim Henson, thinking you'd be an animator and a puppeteer, Don Blueth, Robert Townsend, Ann-Marie Johnson, Hollywood Shuffle, Rod Serling, the carousel in Bimington NY, TGIF, Sasha Mitchell, Hangin with Mr. Cooper, Todd Oldham, Ken's love of TV pagent shows growing up, the Adventures of Briscoe Country Jr., USA World Premier movies, Ken insulting Judd Nelson, Where on Earth is Carmen San Diego?, complaining about Charles Barkley and Nixon's death.
AND be sure to pre-order Jason’s new book about 90s Sketch Comedy here
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