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#mutuals free 2 interact
ccbatman · 1 day
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woe. bruce and dinah friendship be upon ye:
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"Someone has to have our backs. Keep us honest. That's why I'm here." / "Batman needs a conscience? Okay, I'll bite."
{ The Brave and the Bold (1980) #166 • JLI (1987) #13 • Batgirl Year One (2003) #7 • JLI (1987) #6 • JLI (1987) #7 • JLA: Incarnations (2001) #4 • Green Arrow/Black Canary (2007) #1 • Injustice 2 (2017) #4 • JLI (1987) #13 • JLI (1987) #11 • Justice League of America (1960) #84 • Justice League of America: Rebirth (2017) }
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Angrily rewatching edge of tomorrow in honour of the bad news you shared
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me omw to ur house so i can sloppily make out with u like a bad yaoi anime
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mi niñito lindo traumatizado <3
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fishyartist · 1 year
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new day resolution TALK TO PEOPLE!!!!
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kelprot-old · 2 years
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we’ve once again reached that point w my sideblog where i dont care for it in the slightest. 50/50 chance i deactivate it again. we’ll see
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killdfame · 1 year
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CMJAGERBOMB   :   helping  janice  with  her  dissertation.  coming  along  great  !
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nostalgebraist · 1 year
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Honestly I'm pretty tired of supporting nostalgebraist-autoresponder. Going to wind down the project some time before the end of this year.
Posting this mainly to get the idea out there, I guess.
This project has taken an immense amount of effort from me over the years, and still does, even when it's just in maintenance mode.
Today some mysterious system update (or something) made the model no longer fit on the GPU I normally use for it, despite all the same code and settings on my end.
This exact kind of thing happened once before this year, and I eventually figured it out, but I haven't figured this one out yet. This problem consumed several hours of what was meant to be a relaxing Sunday. Based on past experience, getting to the bottom of the issue would take many more hours.
My options in the short term are to
A. spend (even) more money per unit time, by renting a more powerful GPU to do the same damn thing I know the less powerful one can do (it was doing it this morning!), or
B. silently reduce the context window length by a large amount (and thus the "smartness" of the output, to some degree) to allow the model to fit on the old GPU.
Things like this happen all the time, behind the scenes.
I don't want to be doing this for another year, much less several years. I don't want to be doing it at all.
----
In 2019 and 2020, it was fun to make a GPT-2 autoresponder bot.
[EDIT: I've seen several people misread the previous line and infer that nostalgebraist-autoresponder is still using GPT-2. She isn't, and hasn't been for a long time. Her latest model is a finetuned LLaMA-13B.]
Hardly anyone else was doing anything like it. I wasn't the most qualified person in the world to do it, and I didn't do the best possible job, but who cares? I learned a lot, and the really competent tech bros of 2019 were off doing something else.
And it was fun to watch the bot "pretend to be me" while interacting (mostly) with my actual group of tumblr mutuals.
In 2023, everyone and their grandmother is making some kind of "gen AI" app. They are helped along by a dizzying array of tools, cranked out by hyper-competent tech bros with apparently infinite reserves of free time.
There are so many of these tools and demos. Every week it seems like there are a hundred more; it feels like every day I wake up and am expected to be familiar with a hundred more vaguely nostalgebraist-autoresponder-shaped things.
And every one of them is vastly better-engineered than my own hacky efforts. They build on each other, and reap the accelerating returns.
I've tended to do everything first, ahead of the curve, in my own way. This is what I like doing. Going out into unexplored wilderness, not really knowing what I'm doing, without any maps.
Later, hundreds of others with go to the same place. They'll make maps, and share them. They'll go there again and again, learning to make the expeditions systematically. They'll make an optimized industrial process of it. Meanwhile, I'll be locked in to my own cottage-industry mode of production.
Being the first to do something means you end up eventually being the worst.
----
I had a GPT chatbot in 2019, before GPT-3 existed. I don't think Huggingface Transformers existed, either. I used the primitive tools that were available at the time, and built on them in my own way. These days, it is almost trivial to do the things I did, much better, with standardized tools.
I had a denoising diffusion image generator in 2021, before DALLE-2 or Stable Diffusion or Huggingface Diffusers. I used the primitive tools that were available at the time, and built on them in my own way. These days, it is almost trivial to do the things I did, much better, with standardized tools.
Earlier this year, I was (probably) one the first people to finetune LLaMA. I manually strapped LoRA and 8-bit quantization onto the original codebase, figuring out everything the hard way. It was fun.
Just a few months later, and your grandmother is probably running LLaMA on her toaster as we speak. My homegrown methods look hopelessly antiquated. I think everyone's doing 4-bit quantization now?
(Are they? I can't keep track anymore -- the hyper-competent tech bros are too damn fast. A few months from now the thing will be probably be quantized to -1 bits, somehow. It'll be running in your phone's browser. And it'll be using RLHF, except no, it'll be using some successor to RLHF that everyone's hyping up at the time...)
"You have a GPT chatbot?" someone will ask me. "I assume you're using AutoLangGPTLayerPrompt?"
No, no, I'm not. I'm trying to debug obscure CUDA issues on a Sunday so my bot can carry on talking to a thousand strangers, every one of whom is asking it something like "PENIS PENIS PENIS."
Only I am capable of unplugging the blockage and giving the "PENIS PENIS PENIS" askers the responses they crave. ("Which is ... what, exactly?", one might justly wonder.) No one else would fully understand the nature of the bug. It is special to my own bizarre, antiquated, homegrown system.
I must have one of the longest-running GPT chatbots in existence, by now. Possibly the longest-running one?
I like doing new things. I like hacking through uncharted wilderness. The world of GPT chatbots has long since ceased to provide this kind of value to me.
I want to cede this ground to the LLaMA techbros and the prompt engineers. It is not my wilderness anymore.
I miss wilderness. Maybe I will find a new patch of it, in some new place, that no one cares about yet.
----
Even in 2023, there isn't really anything else out there quite like Frank. But there could be.
If you want to develop some sort of Frank-like thing, there has never been a better time than now. Everyone and their grandmother is doing it.
"But -- but how, exactly?"
Don't ask me. I don't know. This isn't my area anymore.
There has never been a better time to make a GPT chatbot -- for everyone except me, that is.
Ask the techbros, the prompt engineers, the grandmas running OpenChatGPT on their ironing boards. They are doing what I did, faster and easier and better, in their sleep. Ask them.
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thot4ellie · 2 months
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oh sweetheart
pairing: boxer! ellie williams x f reader au
word count: 1.9k
rating: 18+
warnings: boxer!ellie, drinking, smoking, cursing, creepy guy but ellie comes to ur defense!! ellie has lots of tattoos, fighting, threats, idk if im missing anything (no character description or anything specific)
summary: you didn't expect to meet her on this night out.
authors notes: hi friends! this is my first time writing and posting on here hopefully you enjoy, please reblog, like or follow! lets be mutuals :) anyways feedback and constructive criticism is always welcome and appreciated! ellie williams has me on my hands and knees!!! i hope you enjoy! i like the idea of making this a series if it works out and ppl like it, so pls let m know!! thank you :)
PART 1 | part 2
series masterlist <3
from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸
READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.
DO NOT BUY THE REMASTER, TLOU2, TLOU1, OR ANY GAME FROM NAUGHTY DOG! neil druckmann (the creator) is a zionist. PLEASE READ THIS. AND REBLOG THIS.
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loud. everything is loud. the smell of sweat and blood stains the air around you. the sounds of people cheering and shouting towards the center of the large room. the lights are buzzing above you as you are walking into the entrance of the shitty run down gym your brother, jesse, and his girlfriend, dina, ended up dragging you to tonight.
you didn't mind coming along with him but this wasn't what you expected to be doing tonight. after a long shitty week of unpacking your new apartment, you kinda just wanted to end up a hole in the wall bar and drink your stress away but he had other plans. which including watching grown men beat the shit of each other for their cut at the end of the night.
it was intimidating, walking through the crowds of people you didn't know until you finally make it to where his friends were waiting for you guys. they were sitting at a table with a clear shot of the fight which was surprising since the whole place seemed to have more people in it then it could fit. you make your way awkwardly to the empty seats saying a gentle "hello guys" to your brothers friends who you didn't knowl. you sat next to dina as jesse made his way to the bar with your drink orders.
after you graduated highschool, you moved to new york and spend 4 years there working in a small cafe you lived above but now at the start of the summer, still not sure what you should be doing with your life. now you're 22 and you've moved to the city of jackson to be closer to your older brother and his girlfriend. you were excited to start fresh in a place where no one knew you yet, you were ready to leave your old life and those toxic things in the past. but you wondered if it was even possible.
you spend the next hour talking with dina and catching up on the things that have happened since you moved, "have you started looking for jobs yet?" she asked as you both sipped on the second drink of the night that jesse went and brought back a bit ago. you've only met a couple times in person since they started dating about 2 years ago but you loved her, she was making this night a lot better. "not much luck yet, i don't know what to do, luckily i have some time to figure something out." you responded. she went to say something but then the loud speakers around the room started blaring music and the countdown to the match that was about to start.
jesse tapped dinas shoulder to go watch with the rest of them. dinas eyes met yours and asked, "are you coming up?" you started getting nervous as the people started getting louder and crowding towards the center ring and told her that you'll stay here and watch. they both nodded and said they'd be back when it was over.
you took this opportunity to finally go get some fresh air since the crowd isn't all over anymore and it was a straight shot to the door you came in, you walked over to the side of the building, definitely feeling the drinks you had, you let your back rest against the concrete wall, finally cooling you down on this hot summer night. there's people standing outside talking but they payed no attention to you. you stayed against the wall as you pull out the cigarette pack from the pocket of your thin dark green jacket and the lighter out of your back pocket in your jean shorts. you cursed yourself for not buying more but its a bad habit and you know it. you pulled one out and put it in your lips as you brought the lighter up and took a drag, finally letting the anxiety go as you stared off into the sky.
"excuse me miss, you shouldn't be out here alone, a beautiful girl like you," a man with a rough voice said but you didn't move to look, suddenly wishing you never left your apartment to begin with, "hello i'm talking to you, its not nice to ignore people, ya know," he slurred his words as he spoke. you turned your head as you went to tell him to leave you alone but instead, he was standing in front of you before you knew it you dropped your smoke and now he's practically cornered you.
he was so close you could smell the alcohol on his breathe as he spoke again, "now are you gonna talk to-" you leaned away from him as he was interrupted by the sound of a door opening a few feet away, he looked towards it but then turned back to you just as quick, almost touching you as he went to speak again but he was beat to it.
"get off her." you didn't even realize the door had opened until you heard her.
the man looked back towards the door to the figure in the light, he squinted and when he got a good look, he suddenly backed off and put his hands up. "hey hey i wasn't doing nothin- it was nothing!" he shouted back to whoever was next to the still open door, light shining into the alley.
the door slams and the light fades as the figure walks closer towards you and your eyes meet the deep green eyes of the person who just saved you as she turned to the man who was just cornering you against the wall.
"it doesn't look like nothing, i mean, really? you're fucking joking right?" she questioned him as she looked him right in the eyes.
"i said it was nothing- she was flirting with me and-" he was cut off as she laughed loudly. "yeah you're full of shit, get the fuck out of here and don't let me see you again or you'll regret it." she said as she stepped closer towards him, almost at the same height, he looked scared of her. "okay, okay- fuck 'm leaving!" he slurred one last time as he turned around and headed the opposite way of the run down gym.
you stood there as the interaction happened, not sure what to do or say yet, you were silent as he walked off, and those green eyes met yours again and you saw her lips moving as she was speaking but you caught nothing she said. "hey, you okay there?" she asked you as she went to stand in front of you, looking you up and down, checking if you're psychically okay while she gave you a second to process before she asked you again.
"hey sweetheart, you okay?" she asked and grabbed your arm, not in a way that the man would have but like she was actually making sure you were okay, and this time you finally heard her.
"h- yes im okay, just- fuck- yes thank you." you said finally getting a good look at her now that she's up close and touching you. her eyes were greener than you thought, her short auburn hair with some pulled back into a bun, the big moth tattoo wrapped around her right forearm that was still holding onto yours, other tattoos littered her arms and some poking out under her t-shirt she was wearing. she was so close to you and it sent butterflies through your body. now is not the time, you thought to yourself.
"are you sure- 'm sorry that happened, fuck him." she said roughly, not towards you but him.
"its okay, thank- thank you for helping me" you said gently to the girl who was still looking into your eyes. you had been so focused on hers that you didn't even see the tiny scars, small healing cuts and the bruises that were fading until you looked over her face again.
"yeah of course, are you here alone?" she asked you curiously still holding on to you, you weren't even phased by it. you told her you were here with your brother and she nodded her head towards the door, "lets get you back to him before anything else happens sweetheart" she said as she guided you to the door, hand on your back, as you swallowed and went first.
suddenly all the sounds that you had not realized you had been blocking begin again, smells of the sweaty bodies surround you again and you felt too hot, either because of her or the summer heat trapped in here. once you made it inside, she moved her hand off the small of your back and told her to go find your brother and to get home safe. when she walked away, you realized you didn't even know her name.
you saw dina, sitting along with a few of jesses friends and made your way over to her. the match must've ended while you were outside. you walked through the gym to sit back down, moving carefully to avoid touching anyone. once you made it to the table, dina wondered where you had ran off too. "oh just went out to get some fresh air," you said back to her smiling, not wanting her to worry. she told you jesse went to get more drinks and after the encounter outside, you needed it.
jesse came back a few moments later, holding a round of shots for you three. "here you ladies go," he spoke with a happy look on his face. you smiled slightly back and took the glass as dina laughed at him. you took the shot, trying to forget what happened outside with the man but not what happened with her. you wondered if you would see her again. is she here to watch? could she work at the bar? is she here with friends too? your thoughts were interrupted by an announcement over the speaks that the final match was gonna start soon.
dina and jesse were telling you, "its the last one tonight and the last ones are always the best so lets go!" you would rather sit and order another drink, but what if something else happened cause you were alone? so reluctantly you got up with them and got closer to the middle ring, you heard the loud speakers announcing the boxers as they entered the ring. you weren't even paying attention, nothing could stop your mind racing with thoughts about the girl outside.
you shake yourself out of the trance when dina reaches over to you to touch your hands that were shaking but you didn't even realize, you look to her and give her smile that she returns, then she looks back to the ring and you turn your head to follow her eyes to the center. and your breathe caught.
thats her.
thats the girl who saved you outside.
the girl with her hands wrapped in tape and the mouthguard in.
the girl who wondered if she'd ever see you again either, not that you knew that, but she hoped it wasn't the last time.
you wondered what she thought as you both stared back at each other. you heard the coach start the countdown. you just watched her.
...5
...4
...3
...2
as the buzzer started, she smiled directly at you then turned to throw the first punch.
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total-dxmure · 3 months
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✦ INVISIBLE STRING THEORY →【ELLIE WILLIAMS】→ CHAPTER THREE
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pairings: modern!marine ellie x reader
summary: the marines didn’t ruin ellie. ellie ruined ellie. after being medically discharged she feels lost. being sent to live with joel is more of a last ditch effort to save her and less of a fun reunion for the father-daughter duo. jackson is worlds different than chicago, but the fresh air and sprawling countrysides are a welcome reprieve. ellie finds herself finding comfort in more than just the change in scenery though. after losing your girlfriend due to an accident you feel as though you’ll never find love again- but that was before meeting ellie williams. the two of you figure out that you have more in common than just the fact that she and your girlfriend were both marines though. tethered by some invisible string, the two of you meeting has to be fate. who would have known that you were the golden ticket to ellie’s recovery?
warnings: eventual smut! lots of tension building and mutual pining. ellie falls first and hard. small town girl meets a frightening, strong ex marine. TW: talk of panic attacks, ptsd episodes and death. come for the ellie smut and stay for the plot and fluff. (A/N: here we are, the meat and potatoes. the fic is really kicking off. . . and they're already flirting?! ellie is so touch and affection starved that she nearly jumps out of her own skin every time you even look at her.)
⬶ previous chapter | next chapter ⤅
from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸 READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this. DO NOT BUY THE REMASTER, TLOU2, TLOU1, OR ANY GAME FROM NAUGHTY DOG! neil druckmann (the creator) is a zionist. PLEASE READ THIS. AND REBLOG THIS.
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In that halfway space between waking and sleep it was hard to discern what was real and what wasn’t. Your bed felt warm, sheets still tangled around your arms and legs. The weight of your blanket on your chest could easily be confused with another’s body, and so you felt yourself smile. Warm, happy, safe- 
Abby was behind you, her limbs expertly twisted around yours like she’d done it a thousand times before. . . and she had. 
Slowly you opened your eyes, staring blankly ahead of you into your pitch black bathroom. You recognized the fresh scent of your shampoo, and felt the way your hair still clung to your hot cheeks- wet from your shower the night before. It was like you were suspended in a memory, everything all soft and fuzzy around you. The dots weren’t perfectly connecting, and still you were happy. For a second you just laid there, unable to look down at the hand you could feel so vividly at your waist. Would you see Abby’s knuckles when you looked down? Would you see the rubber promise ring she had insisted on wearing? Everything always had to be even and fair with her. 
This morning felt familiar. Like you’d lived it before. Your breath left you in a rush when the bed creaked behind you. 
“Abby,” God, she was back. She was back and she was right behind you. “Baby?” 
There was a soft groan and then the arm tightened, bringing you into a warm chest. Her bicep squeezed your arm tightly against her shoulder, and all at once you were tucked in so tight. Confusion tugged at your features, and you mulled over exactly why you were clinging to her arm so tightly. 
“What’s wrong?” She whispered against your hair, her voice still thick with sleep. Still, her fingers stroked at your bare stomach. 
“I had a nightmare,” You mumbled, trying to recall exactly what had plagued you just seconds ago. You can’t remember now that you’re safe here. . . safe with Abby again. “You were gone and I was all alone.” 
Those moments came back to you in flashes. The ache, the constant pain of losing her, the “learning to live without her” that crushed you entirely. You turned around in her grasp, nuzzling your nose into the crook of her neck. You took deep inhales, trying to still your rising panic. You could feel the steady beating of her heart against your cheek, the warmth of her bare breasts against your collar bones. 
“I was gone?” She raised a hand, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, a few golden strands falling onto her forehead as she moved her head against the pillow beneath her. “You can tell me about it if you want.” She offered supportively, petting your back in slow circles. 
You don’t know why. . .  but you missed those circles. It felt like you’d been without them for weeks. Months. 
“I-I got a phone call. . . and they told me that you’d died,” Your bottom lip quivered, your eyes filling with tears. You couldn’t help but laugh pathetically at your unnecessary hysterics. Abby was right here. Everything was okay. “It felt like the longest nightmare I’ve ever had. It was horrible.” 
“You did so good though.” She whispered, her hands still stroking. 
Your muscles tensed, and slowly you moved your hand up her side, fingers brushing against her skin. You pressed a soft kiss against the underside of her breast, a tear breaking free past your lower lashes. This moment suddenly felt fleeting. 
“I did?” You questioned, pulling away to look at her. 
She was so beautiful. Like an angel had fallen from heaven and landed right in your bed. The sun was just beginning to rise, setting the line of trees just outside of your window ablaze. She was diaphanous and golden laying there beneath you. You were so lucky. You could barely breathe when she looked up at you like that, her eyes so thick with pride and love. 
“You did, baby girl. You stayed so strong.” She cracked a small smile, but it looked pained. Like she was also realizing that the two of you couldn’t exist here forever. “I need you to keep it up though, alright?” You couldn’t feel her hand on your back anymore, nor the softness of the sheets. 
“Please,” You sobbed out, reaching out to cup her cheek. She didn’t feel like anything. Like your hand was molded around a pocket of open space. Nothingness. She was about the size of the palm of your hand now, her urn sitting on the mantle in your living room. “Please don’t leave me again.” 
Her blue eyes stared up at you, proud and unwavering in their convictions, as they always were. . . always had been. “I’m never far. Pinky.” Promise. 
And then you were in your bed again, the alarm on your phone blaring. 
“Abby?” You mumbled, and you didn’t have to turn over to realize you were alone. 
Ellie was good at putting pressure on herself. It had always been a form of motivation, as cruel as it seemed. She couldn’t let today be awful. No episodes or meltdowns and no long bouts of silence. You were pretty and it really seemed like you could use a friend. 
Ellie could use a friend too. 
She couldn’t remember the last time she’d shown interest in a girl. She’d always been career driven with a one track mind. She was good at overworking herself and running herself dry. She hoped that you’d be able to use that to your benefit today. Ellie wanted to lose herself in something. . . in someone. She wanted to be useful for the first time in what felt like a long, long while.
So she woke up at the butt crack of dawn and took a shower. She kept her eyes shut tight as she washed herself and didn’t even bother to towel dry her hair before she was pulling on an outfit. Thick droplets of water stained the shoulders of her jean button up as she tied up the laces on her boots. She focused on one shoe at a time, her mind preoccupied with thoughts of you. Every once and a while her brain would wander, hellbent on self destruction, but with a small groan she’d remember the sadness in your eyes. 
She’d remember who she was before the accident. 
She moved down the stairs as quietly as she could, praying that Joel’s dog wouldn’t start barking once he realized that his new best friend was leaving the house. The keys to her old car were on the rack beside the front door, right next to Joel’s flashy new pair. He’d told Ellie over dinner that he’d been maintaining the beat up old Jeep the best that he could, meaning she at least had a little bit of freedom while she was back home. 
She locked the door behind her, the cool morning breeze stinging against her wet ears as she gracelessly stumbled down the stairs, juggling the bulky set of keys in her hand. A huge metal spaceship that Joel had stuffed into her Christmas stocking senior year, a neon green carabiner she’d bought at one of the gas stations closest to her school, and a few other childish charms that she couldn’t place any meaning behind swung from the nearly ancient keychain. Her sense of self expression and style back in those days was tacky to say the least, but she appreciated child-Ellie nonetheless. 
“You poor child.” She teased under her breath, climbing into the driver's seat and shoving the key into the ignition. She sucked in a breath and held it before cranking it up. 
To her surprise, the clunker started right up, though the engine shook the steering wheel a little when she put the thing in reverse down the driveway. She hadn’t driven a car since that night at the gas station. It felt a little weird to be behind the wheel, but even stranger to be back here. Jackson was a beautiful place. . . but it didn’t feel the same way that it had before. She wasn’t sure if it was because of her age or the changes that were happening inside of her. The streets still looked the same, aside from some very minor changes to neighbor's houses. She barely paid any attention to her surroundings when Joel had driven her through town yesterday, and she was a bit scared to see the differences. She didn’t want to dwell on those thoughts or do any soul searching, so she reached out for the radio, pressing play on whatever CD had been shoved into it last. 
Depeche mode began to blast over the speakers, and she let out a small sigh of relief. At least her music taste wasn’t horrible in high school. 
But it was no wonder she didn’t have a girlfriend. Ellie wouldn’t have dated little Ellie either, that was for sure. 
She felt a bit crazy to be driving in the opposite direction of town. Back when she lived here, town was the only place she was headed when she was allowed out of the house. It was no wonder why the two of you had never really crossed paths. She used to complain about how far off in the “middle of nowhere” Joel lived, but your farm had his ranch beat by fifteen minutes. The houses got fewer and farther in between, and despite how much Ellie truly did enjoy the city, she couldn’t deny how beautiful the countryside was. The sprawling fields, grazing animals, and splattering of wild flowers had her rolling down the windows of her car, ignoring the chill so that she could get a better look of her surroundings. 
Even the air quality was better in Jackson.
She’d been down this road a few times in her life, having been in the backseat of Joel’s car every single time. She recognized your home from her memories, but your last name didn’t mean much to her back then. She slowed her car down to a crawl, staring at the large sign that sported your family name proudly. 
Ellie would be proud of the farm too if it were hers. She bumped down the drive five minutes earlier than you had told her to show up, staring with wide eyes at your house. It was two stories with a balcony- white with green shutters. The wrap around porch was screened in, protecting you and any guests you might have over from bugs that thrive in the summertime heat. 
Your stretch of land belonged on a painting, and for a second she worried if maybe she wasn’t the right friend for you. This house was too nice and Ellie. . . Ellie wasn’t very nice at all. She'd only talked to you for five minutes yesterday, but she got the feeling that you were a "good girl". You were wholesome, which wasn't how anyone in Ellie's life would choose to describe her. She slowly made her way up your front steps, and for a second she wondered if she should leave. It would probably be better if she did. Ellie could always just lie and tell Joel that she couldn’t find your house. . . he’d probably drop it after insulting her about her bad sense of direction. 
Ellie couldn’t afford to get a crush on anyone right now either. It was horrible timing, and what would be worse is if you actually ever returned those feelings. How was she supposed to explain to you that she wouldn’t ever make a good partner? She couldn’t protect you from anything, not when any loud sounds or bright lights had her falling to her knees. She was careerless, depressed to the point where she had completely lost who she was, had a drinking problem, and was quite certain that she’d combust the second you’d touch her. She was touch and attention starved, but hadn’t remembered that she was even able to desire someone until she’d seen you yesterday- 
You’d be dodging a bullet if she hightailed it right off of your property. So she turned on her heel and stared at her boots as she began walking back down your stairs. Her feet kicked up dirt as she made her way back to her jeep, hand already reaching into her pocket for her keys- 
“Did I not hear you knocking on the door?” A feminine voice called out to her. 
She sucked in a breath so hard that she let out a loud cough, eyes widening as she turned around to face the porch. You were wearing a pair of dirt stained jeans today, though your hair was fastened back with a white bow. Ellie, despite her previous need to protect you from herself, couldn’t fight off the urge to get closer. There was something different about you today. You were a bit manic, your hands already busying themselves with straightening out a few of the potted plants on your porch. You seemed a bit anxious, but you didn’t comment on it so neither did Ellie. Any boundaries you had yesterday with her were gone. You flashed her a wide smile, sauntering up the drive so that you could wrap her up in a tight hug. 
Your arms were shaking as they weaved around her neck, pulling her in close. She froze, limbs locking up in surprise as she tried to fully grasp what was going on. You were treating her like an old friend, someone you were excited to see. Ellie didn’t know why you’d be so happy to see her. . . but then again, she was happy to see you. She remembered what Joel had said last night.
Maybe you were sick and tired of being alone. 
Your bare arms were cold too- freezing as her fingers accidentally brushed the backs of them. Ellie realized that she had gotten here just in time. If anything, she cursed herself for not showing up twenty minutes earlier, if only to save you from whatever had you this shaken up. 
“I probably knocked too quietly. Should have knocked louder, huh?” She mumbled, biting the inside of her cheek as she gave you a gentle squeeze. 
She wasn’t used to holding someone like this that wasn’t Dina or Jesse. You felt nice in her arms. Your muscles weren’t hard or rigid like hers, you were all soft and rounded edges. Gentle curves and arms ready and willing to embrace her. Flushed cheeks and silk bows. You smelled wonderful too- sweet and floral, like Jasmine mixed with honey. She didn’t want to let you go, and you didn’t seem ready to end the hug either.
You were still quivering. 
“Yeah, you should have.” You agreed, giving Ellie one last squeeze before taking a few unsteady steps back.
You hadn’t been completely sure whether or not she would show up today. Waking up this early was a lot to ask of anyone, let alone someone you had just met yesterday. Still, a part of you had hoped that she would be here. On days that were this bad you found it impossible to work, no matter how busy it kept you. You often spent “mental health days”  laid out by Abby’s grave or buried six feet under pillows and blankets in what used to be your shared bed.
Ellie’s presence changed things. 
So you squared off your shoulders and cracked her a wide smile, praying that it looked genuine and not forced. 
“Let’s hop in my truck and I’ll take you on a little tour of the property before we get started.” You tucked your bottom lip between your teeth as you watched the woman take a few steps closer to you.
Ellie looked like she wanted to say something but was holding herself back. You weren’t sure whether or not you would be able to handle her prying or the pity that would follow. 
Your fingers twitched at your sides, wishing so deeply that you hadn’t woken up at all this morning. Ellie was beautiful- gorgeous even. You would have been head over heels if you had met her years ago, before. . . well, before Abby happened. Still, her beauty wasn't enough to completely distract you from your grief. A part of you felt guilty for even finding her attractive as you slid into the front seat of the truck. 
Maybe that was why you’d had such a strange dream last night. Or maybe. . . maybe it wasn’t a dream at all. Maybe it really was Abby trying to tell you that it was okay to move on. That was confusing to even think about, and it made you count the months since her death on both of your hands, trying to gauge if enough time really had passed. You didn’t want to be alone anymore, but the thought of being in love with anyone seemed like an impossibility. Everything was broken. How could you ever love anyone the same way that you loved Abby? You’d just be doing that other person a disservice. 
That’s right, you were cursed. 
You could feel Ellie’s gaze on the side of your face as you made your way down the dirt road, up towards the hen houses. You blinked a few times, the apples of your cheeks heating up in embarrassment. Slowly you met her gaze, lips twitching up in a small smile as she quickly looked away from you, nervous over having been caught. 
“My dad built ten large coops, so this whole fenced-in area right here is where the chickens graze.” You stopped the car and put it in park, keeping the old thing running like you usually did during your quick morning chores. Sometimes the poor truck had a hard time starting back up, and you’d probably burst into tears if your newfound friend had to walk a half mile back to the house with you. 
“Do you guys have any problems with foxes?” She asked, keeping up with your fast pace as you unlatched the front of the fence for the both of you. 
Your nose wrinkled in disgust, and you were quick to throw your arms up exasperatedly. 
“Oh god, do we! I had to get someone out here to change out the fence just six months ago because one of those little fuckers had somehow managed to dig it’s way into their area. Killed seven of my poor girls.” You remembered how angry you were when you’d pulled up to the coops that morning. Burying seven dead hens wasn’t a pleasant experience for you, but it wasn’t something that was new. Still, you hated knowing that they’d suffered in their final moments. 
“Jesus, I’m sorry.” Ellie looked around the area, finding it impossible not to notice how well kept everything was. The coops were freshly painted, the grass was gorgeous and plush- bright green under her feet. Truly, your farm was an oasis. She’d never seen anything quite like it before, and you'd barely even started the tour.
“Can I hold one?” She asked meekly, smiling up at you shyly as you turned to look at her. You didn’t exactly take her as the type of girl that would want to hold a chicken, but you were happy to oblige her. 
“One of my mamas just hatched a few chicks. Would you want to hold-” 
“Yes.” She quickly added, jogging off in the direction that you were pointing, eager to hold anything tiny and fluffy that you had to offer. 
You were shocked at the laugh that bubbled its way out of your chest. A genuine, good natured laugh that you found hard to contain as she began impatiently tapping her foot as she waited for you to catch up. 
“Didn’t take you for a chicken lover, city girl.” You teased, unlatching the door for her so that she could make her way inside. 
The hens squawked excitedly at your appearance, realizing they’d be able to eat their fill of grass, bugs, and dried corn. A few ran over, crowding at your ankles. Rows and rows of nests were lined up along the walls. In the back of the coop were a few small rectangular doors that you could open, which was what you used to harvest eggs. Your dad’s old coops didn’t have anything fancy like that, so you grew up having your hands pecked at. You used to run back home to your mother with blood bruises and angry, raised skin. 
“I love chicks.” Ellie said simply and the double meaning wasn’t lost on you. 
As if on cue one of the chickens began pecking at the woman’s ankles, earning a small hiss of surprise from her. You snorted, biting your lip so that you wouldn’t laugh at her expense. “I can’t say the feeling is mutual, apparently.” You added playfully, looking around for the yellow poof balls. 
“Old news.” She was smiling at you, and something in your chest began doing awful, uncomfortable flips. For a second you even felt a bit nauseous. 
Ellie wasn’t Abby, but there was something similar about the two of them. The short haired girl seemed capable and strong. There was a physical sort of confidence in the way that she walked that told you that she knew how to handle herself. You watched as she shoved her hands in her pockets, shoulders squared off, feet shoulder length apart- and it had your lips parting. 
Still, you remembered Joel talking about his daughter. . . saying that she was military. You couldn’t remember which branch she belonged to, but you could tell that she was well trained. You tried to imagine what Ellie would look like if she was put in a situation where she needed to protect herself, and you found a shiver running up your spine.
There was a coldness that had been in her eyes when the two of you had first met that had chilled you to the bone. You saw none of it when you looked into her eyes now, but. . . still. . . the thought terrified you. Had those capable hands ever killed anyone before? 
You felt horrible even thinking that, even going as far as to give your thigh a small slap in punishment as you bent down, knees digging into the wood shavings and hay. The chicks didn’t seem off put by your small scowl. They saw you and instantly thought “food”, which had them clumsily running in your direction. You hadn’t heard her walk up beside you, only felt the sleeve of her long sleeve shirt brush against your arm as she sat back on her haunches beside you. 
“It won’t scare them if I pick them up, will it?” She asked gently, slowly reaching a hand out so that she could brush it against their plush down feathers. They chirped contentedly, unaware of what “danger” even meant yet. You were guilty of babying your chickens, meaning none of them were scared of humans. They pecked at you when they were annoyed, but were never violent per say. 
“Not at all. They might seem a bit unhappy, but it’s only because they’re hungry.” 
You pressed your hand to your cheek as you watched the woman pick one of the chicks up, holding the tiny thing tightly against her chest so as to not drop it. There was something almost comical about seeing the woman look this gentle, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration as she tried not to hurt the tiny thing. It was adorable. Which was terrifying for you. 
You were once again reminded of your dream. . . and you didn’t think you were ready to let Abby go. Not even when Ellie looked up at you excitedly, using her free hand to gesture towards the small creature in disbelief. Almost like she was scared that even talking would frighten it. 
“So what do we do now?” Ellie asked, putting the chick down so that she could stand back up. You followed her lead, making your way back over towards the door. 
“We open up all the doors and let them walk around for the day. I usually come back and get them back in their coops by sundown.” You let her know, leaving the door wide open as you moved coop to coop. 
Ellie helped you, cutting down the time in half. The two of you were back in the truck in record time. You showed her the fields where you planted corn in the late summer to get ready for early fall. You pointed out the small flower garden you had taken upon yourself to cultivate, and then you pulled up to the green houses. Her jaw went slack as she took in all of the buildings. 
“You do all of this yourself?” She needed to make sure she wasn’t imagining things. Sure, she was no farmer, but even someone like her knew just how much work this must be for you. 
She couldn’t imagine you doing this all day, every day all by yourself. It kinda made her chest ache a bit for you. So when you nodded she took it upon herself to climb out of the truck, eager to do something to lighten the burden for you. 
As the two of you approached what appeared to be the oldest of the greenhouses, she couldn’t help but realize that she’d been with you for about an hour. . . and she felt great. Better than great, she felt normal. She had been sent out here so that she could recover, and while she didn’t quite understand what that really and truly meant, being here with you felt right. Being around the animals felt therapeutic, and while Joel might have told you a little bit about her in passing, you didn’t know enough about Ellie to pass any sort of judgment or feel any sort of pity. 
Even so, Ellie wasn’t sure she’d be against telling you about what happened. Something told her that you would be understanding. You knew what it felt like to lose people, and she was sure that you had regrets somewhere along the line. Everyone does when it comes to losing loved ones. 
She hated that you had suffered enough to understand where she was coming from, but loved that she wasn’t alone for once. 
The two of you walked in silence, and there was a heaviness in your eyes that let her know that you were thinking about something serious and sad. Ellie wondered whether your father was on your mind this morning. . . or perhaps your girlfriend. It wasn’t her place to ask, but that didn’t mean she didn’t want to. 
“Want to help me water them?” You finally asked, motioning towards the tables of plants. 
She nodded, but quickly turned to face you. She couldn’t count how many green houses you had on top of this one. 
“Do we water all of those plants too?” She felt stupid the second that she asked the question, but even more so when you began to giggle. 
Sounding stupid was worth it to hear the sound, so she sucked it up. 
“Those green houses are newer and have a built in sprinkler system. We just have to worry about this one, thankfully. We’d be here all afternoon if not.” You began to head in the direction of the hose so that you could turn it on, your stomach tightening with hunger. 
You knew the second you got back to the house and made breakfast that you’d be nauseous though. Bad days like this were always the same. You were hungry but you couldn’t eat. You wanted to distract yourself but nothing would work. You wanted to talk to someone but didn’t have any friends that you trusted enough to actually. . . onload on, and you were sick of your mom crying on your behalf. 
“So you’re staying with Joel now? For how long?” You decided to make small talk as you handed her the hose, walking along with her as she painstakingly paid attention to every sprout. 
She licked her lips before answering you, eyes flickering in a way that made you think that she might feel a bit nervous. 
“I was. . . sent here. It’s not like I don’t love being home, because I kinda do. It’s just not something that I exactly chose for myself.” That didn’t feel like the whole truth, but you supposed that she would tell you whenever she was ready. 
You played with the raw hem of your old t-shirt, suddenly anxious that you might have put her in a bad spot. Still, you found yourself wanting to know more about her. 
“Do you have an addiction problem?” You realized how inappropriate it was to be so blunt. Your mouth went bone dry with panic, and you were quick to grab her hand, shaking your head. “A-All I’m trying to say is that my uncle had a really bad drug problem for years. He’s been clean and sober since last Christmas and is doing great. I don’t judge, that’s all. I’m proud of you, if anything.” 
She gulped, looking down at your hand and noticing how close your body was to hers now. She fumbled to turn the hose off with one hand, trying to get her breathing under control. It was twice now that you were touching her like this, and she hated herself for wanting to wrap you back up in a hug so bad. She was also trying not to notice how plush and kissable your lips were.
You smelled great too, which made it hard for Ellie to think. 
“Yeah, I guess I have a bit of an addiction problem,” She mumbled, but shrugged her shoulders soon after, contradicting herself. “But that’s not really why I’m here.” 
Ellie would have to tell you eventually, she supposed. If the two of you were going to be as good of friends as Joel wanted, then she’d have to fess up eventually. It was better to get it out and in the open now rather than later. Plus. . . if she had some sort of a breakdown then maybe you’d be more understanding if you knew why it was happening. 
“My therapist tells me that I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I was in the Marines and I had a really bad accident. So. . . it was hard for me to live alone.” Ellie stared down at a long-dead leaf on the ground and bent down to pick it up, gently playing with it’s crinkled edges. 
“Did you have panic attacks? I have those sometimes too.” You wanted her to know that she wasn’t alone, as stupid as it might sound. 
You wanted to relate to her without telling her that your girlfriend had also been a Marine. She was being vulnerable with you, and the last thing you wanted to do was make this moment about you by bringing up your deceased girlfriend.
“Yeah. . . Yeah, I have those a lot. Sometimes I lose track of time- disassociate. It’s scary for others to deal with, so my friends thought that it would be best if I were with Joel. There’s less triggers here than back in Chicago.” You could tell that she was still uncomfortable with the subject matter, but she was powering through. 
Ellie appreciated that there wasn’t a hint of judgment in your tone. You genuinely seemed curious. . . and talking about herself like this felt good. Validating, even. 
“What triggers you? I just want to make sure that I don’t overstep or accidentally do anything wrong-” 
“No, no. You’re fine. It’s more so loud noises and bright lights.” 
“So no gunshots?” 
“Guns aren’t too bad. . . it’s more so car crashes. Explosions, you know?” 
Your mouth went dry. You did know. It’s how Abby died, afterall. You hated that Ellie had gone through something similar. Your heart ached for her. 
“Is that how you got this. . . ?” You began to brush your fingers against the scar over her eye. You froze as she flinched, guilt bottoming out your stomach as you quickly yanked your hand away.
She reached out to take your elbow into her calloused hand before you could drop your palm back down at your side, and pressed your fingers against the skin herself. Her skin was still soft, but raised and jagged. You’d never felt a scar this deep before. Still, it was warm under your touch. Alive. 
The moment felt oddly intimate, and you kept your fingers there for a few seconds too long before dropping your hand back at your side. Ellie felt like she was going to explode. No one had ever wanted to touch her scar, let alone been allowed to. 
“Yeah, It is.” She cleared her throat, grabbing one of her arms in her hands nervously. She was starting to realize that she didn’t mind being seen by you. “I’m legally blind in the eye now, which has been pretty hard to get used to.” 
“So you can’t see at all out of it?” You questioned, beginning to walk back over towards the repotting station. You’d noticed a few sprouts that were getting a little too big for their pots, and the last thing you wanted was crowded roots. 
She followed after you like a lost puppy, hot on your trail. “I can see shapes and colors. Movement, and everything. But if you held up your hand and asked me “how many fingers am I holding up”, I wouldn’t be able to tell you.” She’d practically had to relearn how to do everything again, as dramatic as that sounded. Losing the vision of one eye affected a lot more than one might think. 
“Oh, shit.” You remarked, nose wrinkling up in sympathy. You couldn’t imagine how hard that must have been on top of dealing with the mental anguish of the accident. 
“ ‘Oh, shit’ is right.” She agreed with a small smile, leaning her hip against the table as you began laying out the necessary supplies. She watched your hands as they moved expertly around the table, eyes locked on your fingers. “I used to be beautiful.” She joked absentmindedly, alluding to the scar that now marred her features. 
“You’re still beautiful.” You said, fully concentrated on the task at hand. 
You didn’t realize the weight that your words carried, nor Ellie’s reaction to them. She felt like a giddy teenager. She couldn’t stop herself from fidgeting with the buttons on her shirt. She was smitten.
You were the first person to treat her like an actual human being since the incident. This was the most alive she’d felt in almost a year. . . and she was talking about things. Not like she might talk to her therapist, it was different than that. She was talking to someone that wanted to get to know her, not just to diagnose her, but to understand her. It felt good. Really good. Sickeningly good. 
And you thought she was beautiful. 
“Do you want to help me repot these little guys?” You asked, motioning towards the tiny pots. 
She was scared of killing your seedlings but nodded anyway, desperate for your approval. Ellie watched as you demonstrated the entire thing for her, praying to god she wouldn’t forget a step. 
The two of you stood shoulder to shoulder, shaking out roots and gently tucking the plants into their new homes. It was calming- melodic, almost. The constant motion, the gentle noises of the wilderness all around you. Ellie could even feel herself getting good at it. Not as good as you, of course. . . but she wasn’t as bad as she thought she would be. 
You watched as she rolled her sleeves up and over her forearms, taking a second to appreciate her hands. Once again, you felt guilty for being so attracted to her. Strands of auburn hair had fallen out from behind her ear and hung in her pale face as she focused on her task. Her strong hands worked methodically. Her veins, her knuckles, her forearms and biceps- Ellie wasn’t just beautiful but gorgeous. 
‘Give me a sign, Abby. If I’m not reading too far into last night's dream. . . then just give me some sort of a sign.’ You thought to yourself, eyebrows furrowing as you packed more dirt around the seedling in your hand. You felt like you were being horrifically dramatic, but what else could you do?
You felt idiotic. Delusional, even.
Beside you Ellie continued to work, completely unaware of your building turmoil. Pot after pot, she was really getting the hang of it. Pack down a layer of dirt, shake out roots, pack dirt on top- repeat.
She  reached out for another one of the black plastic pots, sliding it over in front of her. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she almost didn’t hear the rattling. She’d been so close to covering up whatever was at the bottom with dirt, but the sunlight caught whatever it was just right.
It sparkled. 
Ellie pinched the object between two dirt coated fingers, her eyebrows practically raising up to her hairline as she realized that it was a ring. A valuable looking one, at that. 
“Uh. . . is this yours?” Ellie asked, showing it to you. 
You blinked a few times at the ring, scared for a moment that you were hallucinating, because things like this only happened in movies. People asking for signs from the other side only for a ghostly apparition to pop up on screen.
Still, that was your promise ring in Ellie’s hand. 
Your bottom lip quivered, eyes filling up with tears before you could even stop them. You reached out with gentle fingers, taking it into your hand graciously. 
“Thank you.” 
And you weren’t sure if you were talking to Ellie. . . or Abby.
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strawberrysturniolo · 4 months
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can you pleaseeeee do a chris sturniolo x fem reader where she invites him to meet her family? maybe she has a big family and he’s a little nervous to impress them all? i hope that doesn’t that dumb <33
meeting the family // bf!chris
super soft chris
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“Baby?” my boyfriend’s voice calls from our shared bed.
I’m standing in the bathroom, drying my face with a towel while he scrolls through his phone. “Yes?”
“What time are you parents getting in today?”
Chris has been overloaded with anxiety about meeting my family since we started dating months ago. I had moved to LA for college, stumbled into Chris through mutual friends, and with him knowing that I have family on the opposite coast that he has been able to get out of having the awkward first interaction with for months, he’s beginning to panic now that it’s coming up.
He has no real reason to worry though. My parents have always been pretty casual and free to let me do what I want, make my own mistakes. But Chris was never a mistake, and while he’s paranoid about them liking him, I have plenty of confidence that today will go well. 
They’re flying in from my hometown to visit me over a short break I have from school. I was flying back home so much that they decided they wanted to come to the west coast to see me for a change. 
“2, but they’re Ubering to their hotel so my sister can sleep.”
My sister, who is 4, was, in the nicest way, a complete and total freak accident. 
I was an only child my entire life, and when my sister popped out, our age gap was so evident that I would often get asked if I was a single teenage mom when I would take her to the store with me. 
Their day of traveling with her must have been hell. It’s rough enough to go from coast to coast as is, but with a whiny 4-year-old who just wants to sleep the whole time but probably can’t find comfort on the plane, I doubt it was peaceful. 
I can hear the bed creak a bit as Chris gets up and stumbles into the bathroom. His hair is a mess, curls in every direction. His eyelids are heavy, and he drops his head on my shoulder to show me just how exhausted he is. His swollen lips kiss my neck as his arms wrap around my waist. He smiles at me through the mirror, places another kiss to my cheek, then turns around to the shower, turning on the water. 
“You feeling any better about the big introduction?” I ask, earning a groan in response.
“Are you trying to make me feel more nervous?”
“I’m trying to make you feel better.” 
He peels his shirt off and tosses it to the ground. “I’m happy to be meeting them, but no, I’m still scared shitless.” 
While he showered, I talked to my mom to coordinate our plans for the rest of the day. By the time he was back to our room, our day had been decided. 
“My parents are going to Uber back to their hotel so my sister can take a nap, and then we’re going to take them to dinner,” I relay the plans back to him. 
He nods as he puts on a fresh shirt and pants. “Sounds good.”
We go about the rest of our day before heading to the hotel my family will be spending the next few days at. Chris’ hand taps the wheel nervously. I offered to hold his hand, but he insisted that he was too worked up to feel comfortable holding mine, as his hand was probably too sweaty. 
I couldn’t help but find it adorable how much he cared. I knew he really had nothing at all to be worried about. The idea of him caring so much though was so sweet, and I felt really lucky that I had been with someone who wanted to make a lasting impression. It made me think he wanted to make sure they liked him enough for him to be in my life for a long time. 
When Chris pulled into the hotel parking lot, he let out a deep breath.
“Rainbows, butterflies, unicorns,” he muttered, trying to calm himself down.
A cackle left my mouth at the sound of him.
His eyes shot open and he glared at me. “Stop laughing!”
“Chris, this is ridiculous! You’re getting yourself worked up for nothing.”
He stared at me with a blank expression like that was enough to challenge my words. 
“Babe,” I started. “My dad is as protective as any dad is, but he’s a nice man and he cares much more about me being happy than anything else. He can only protect me so much from as far as we live anyway. My mom, she’s easy going and loves everyone. And my sister is 4 and will like you as long as you acknowledge her existence. You’re fine, let’s go.”
With that, I exit the car and head for the front doors. I hear Chris’ door close behind me and his footsteps follow. I lead Chris up to my family’s room, knocking a few times so they can let us in. 
The door swings open, revealing my mom. “Honey!” 
Before I can say anything, her arms are wrapped around me, pulling me into a tight hug. “Hi, mom. How was your flight?”
She let out a sigh. “Exhausting, but we made it. Your sister couldn’t fall asleep and complained about her ears hurting, so she took a nap for a bit when we got settled here and-”
“SISSY!”
The sound of my sister’s voice was enough to make my face light up. I squatted down to her height as she ran to me with her arms out. I hooked my hands under her arms and picked her up, holding her at my hip.
“Hey girly! I heard you didn’t have too much fun on your flight, huh?”
“Uh uh,” she said, shaking her head before resting it on my shoulder. 
I could sense her eyes on Chris, who had been standing behind me. After a few seconds, she started giggling. 
I bopped her up a bit so she could look at me. “What’s so funny?”
Her cheeks blushed as she pointed to Chris, then put her head back on my shoulder. 
“Ohhhhh,” I say, nodding at her as she hides from my boyfriend. “That’s Chris. He’s very nice.”
Chris waved his hand at her, smiling big enough for my sister to giggle again. 
“Why don’t you guys come in and sit down for a bit?” my mom suggested.
Carrying my sister still, I walked inside with Chris behind me and sat down on the bed. 
“Hi sweetheart,” my dad greeted me, kissing me on the head. He stuck his hand out to Chris, who wiped his hand on his pants before shaking my dad’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Chris.”
“Yeah– Um. You too,” Chris stumbled over his words.
In an attempt to let Chris relax a little, I sat my sister on my lap and said, “Why don’t you let Chris meet Bobo?”
Her eyes lit up and she jumped out of my lap, racing to the bed to grab her stuffed monkey.
She bolted back to Chris, holding her monkey proudly in front of him. 
“This is Bobo?” he asked, an element of excitement in his tone that was enough to make any kid think that what they had to share was golden. “Can I hold him?”
She nodded, smiling. 
“Wowwwwwww. Did you know monkey’s are my favorite? I had a lot when I was little.”
Her jaw dropped to the floor, making both my parents laugh. 
“Bobo was with me… the whole time… on the plane,” she said. She spoke like she was out of breath, like the excitement was too much for her. “I was scared of the plane and mommy said Bobo would protect me!”
“I bet he did!” Chris nodded. “He looks like he has that power.”
I couldn’t help but smile at Chris and my sister interacting, as well as how he had finally loosened up and gotten comfortable around my family. While we continued to talk, my sister climbed up on his lap, and I fucking melted at how fast he put his arms around her for support and helped her up. She put her head on his chest, and while holding Bobo, I could see just how tired she still was. 
“Uh oh,” my mom said. “Looks like she’s out again.”
All our eyes found my little sister passed out asleep on my boyfriend’s chest. He looked down to try to see for himself, but was blocked by the back of her head. 
My mom stood up with her phone. “This is too cute. Do you mind if I take a picture of you guys?”
Chris didn’t even respond. Instead he looked up at my mom with the biggest smile I’d ever seen, holding onto my sister. 
All his fears went away, and just like I thought, he was the perfect fit for this family. 
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the-raindeer-king · 2 months
Text
The 141 and having kids with them :) This was fueled by a random thought I had at work, and it was written at like 3am. Pls be kind.
Simon “Ghost” Riley
Due to his personal experiences, I think he probably would be against having kids in the beginning. Like he's seen and been through so much, and I think his main fear would be ending up like his dad. So he always just wrote it off as something he never wanted to experience
UNTIL YOU COME IN 
And at some point, maybe after Johnny starts having kids, Simon sees you interacting with one of the babies. And something about seeing you with a baby on your hip flips a switch in his brain. 
He wants a kid and he wants one now.
Anyway y'all definitely don't stop at just one kid. I like the idea of Simon with 3 kids, all girls of course. He just exudes girl dad energy. 
He's a great dad too btw. Retires from field work after the second girl is born, and absolutely adores them. Encourages them to engage in extracurricular activities. Would coach their sports team if any of them join. Never misses a recital (totally doesn't try to get the other task force members to show up. 🙄 They just happened to be free lmao)
If any of the girls enlisted, he'd probably try to talk them out of it at first. War is brutal, and the idea of any of them going through what he did makes him sick with worry. But he comes around to the idea, and in the end, is so proud of them. 
He's proud of them regardless. All three are firecrackers with big personalities, and he loves them so much. 
John Price
I think, when he was younger, Price wanted kids. Liked the idea of a wife/husband, a house with a yard, and a couple kids. And it just… never happened. Life got in the way, and how could he bring a child into this world, with all the things he's seen? He made his peace with it, and moved on. 
And then he meets YOU. And suddenly he finds himself hoping for these things again. Especially kids. 
Give this man a baby, please! He exudes fatherly energy (in more ways than one ;p) 
After y'all have the first kid, he retires from the military all together. He's paid his dues, and he's got something far more important now: you, and your sweet baby boy :)
I could see Price either only having one, or having a handful of kids. Probably no more than 3 (two boys and a girl) 
A good dad. Maybe gets a little too invested in their sports games, probably ends up as a coach after correcting the old one too many times lmao 
Would be so proud if any of your kids followed in his footsteps. If none of them do, I think he'd be quietly disappointed but proud of them nonetheless. The two of you raised some wonderful kids. 
Kyle “Gaz” Garrick
Probably never really gave it much thought. Like having kids would be cool. Not having them is fine too. Kyle definitely wasn't stressing it, he's got bigger things to worry about.
I mean that is until YOU come along. And now he's thinking about getting married and having babies. 
Definitely talks with you about it in detail. He wants your opinion on it, what method to go about it, if you think you're ready for that. A very lengthy conversation that ends in a mutual agreement. 
I think Kyle wouldn't want more than 2. Like you could convince him, if you want more. But he's fine with a small family. 
2 boys. Twins. Absolutely a handful, and Kyle's there to help when he can. I don't think he'd leave the military until the boys are older, maybe 10/11. But he steps up when he is home, giving you a well deserved break from parenting. 
Loves your boys. Play wrestles with them when they're little, brings them trinkets back from his deployments, takes note of their interests and different personalities. 
Wouldn't mind either way if they enlisted or not. Kyle would be proud of them regardless. You've raised two fine boys, what's not to be proud of?
Johnny “Soap” MacTavish 
Oh, Johnny boy here wants a big family. He's dead set on having kids. It absolutely is a deal breaker for him. His partner has to want kids too.
So when he meets you. And you want kids too, he's over the moon. 
If you've got a uterus, the first kid definitely happens unintentionally. Y'all weren't actively trying, Johnny just can't keep it in his pants lmao. 
If not, then it's all planned out and everything goes smoothly, whether that's surrogate or adoption. 
Like I said, BIG family. I'm talking like 5 kids at the least. You cannot talk him out of it.
Also gives big girl dad energy. Probably ends up with 4 girls and 1 boy. And he's fine with it! Loves getting his nails painted and throwing tea parties, just as much as he loves playing soccer and wrestling 
Like Kyle, Johnny doesn't immediately retire. Sometime after the girl 4 and the baby boy, he'd retire from field work. But he's always facetiming with the kids and bringing them stuff back. Being dad doesn't stop just because he's halfway across the world. 
Would be so proud if any of them enlisted. Would probably cry unashamed. But he's equally as proud of them if they don't. 
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celestialtarot11 · 5 months
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Your future spouse 💰💍💗 fears, how you’ll meet, etc! Collab 💌
Hey friends! Today we’re doing a lovely collab with the mystical and wonderful @julyourwitch ! This was honestly such a cool collab with her 🤗💘 Ya’ll might wanna sit down for this one…its juicy 👀 we actually had some telepathy going on between us too as we were channeling 🤣 anyway, pick your pile below and enjoy this reading brought to you by us 💘🤗 feel free to comment, like and reblog. Your feedback is appreciated 😍 Happy picking!! (The last pic could not fit properly 😭)
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Pile 1 💰🤍: Channeled by the lovely @celestialtarot11 Hi pile 1’s! Welcome to your reading 🙌☕️ let’s get started. Your future spouse is someone who loves spending quality time with you and money💰 your first date could be during the winter season for some of ya’ll, or in the summer. It may involve ice cream as seen in the card 👀 this person may be at a physical distance from you and you’d probably drive a few hours to see them, or have to take the plane. They have no problem paying for the plane 💅🏻 This person mentally & emotionally has fears about the future when it comes to commitment, but I see they are open about this and are willing to work on this with you. They are sweet, reciprocal, open and very chatty 💘💅🏻 they love to sweet talk you and they have a very attractive smile and laugh. Something you’ll feel drawn to. They could have Leo placements and Sagittarius! This person before you meet could work through self sabotage issues, especially abandonment. They’re afraid someone will leave them first, so they’re afraid to show themselves to you but eventually your connection will grow wonderfully. Lots of mutual attraction, values, goals. This is a spiritual connection as well, how you two will meet will be spiritual. You may have visions of them, so will this person. You may feel them close by (their energy) and know they are coming to meet you soon. This is someone who can meet you at your level and show up 🙌 This person could be hesitant to show their feelings for you at first but this will be overcome. I believe spirit is divinely guiding this marriage, and you may actually manifest each other before meeting 💍☕️ this person may do it unconsciously, whereas you may have a whole sit down and journal everything you want in a partner. Honestly thats valid! Get clear on what you want before ya’ll meet, this is important spirit says. For some of ya’ll, ya’ll are ready for this marriage commitment now 💗 ya’ll deeply want this and know what it takes. Spirit is offering guidance and says you’ll get there. Thank you pile 1’s! Feel free to like, reblog and share your thoughts always 🤍 your picture below —>
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Pile 2 💼💍: By the lovely @celestialtarot11 Welcome dear pile 2’s! This is your reading if you felt drawn to this. This person could interact with your social media before talking. They may heart your story, stalk your account, and try to know all there is about you before talking you up. They want to get a better sense of who you are, but here’s the thing, social media only shows a small portion of our lives. This person is deeply curious and wants to have a stable connection or idea of you. Eventually this person will text you, find the courage to speak up and start something! It may catch you by surprise but maybe you’ll know this stalking was happening already. For those who do not have social media you could meet them at a wedding, reception, or a regular event. They will be the waiter/waitress, and serve you. But their eye will be on you. They want to know all there is throughout the event. This person overthinks a lot and feels alone and scared in the world, they have a tendency to think they have to do it all alone. This person desires support however and someone to understand them. They want stability, for someone to take their time ❤️‍🩹 they have been through a lot. Its easy for them to get overwhelmed as you two talk for the first time. But they dream of you a lot, daydreaming. They have lots of fantasies of you, and they may even place you on a pedestal. This person does have self esteem issues, this is something that will be worked on through your marriage. There’s an awareness that they want an intimate connection, but also feel they aren’t worthy of it too. This will come up to be healed throughout your relationship. The Share Tenderness card tells me they are someone who is reciprocal, giving, gentle with their hands 😉 and loves knowing how you feel. They will constantly want to know from a place of care. I’m seeing lots of texts when you’re first dating, hows your morning going? Hows your night? How do you feel about xyz? Tell me what you think. Lots of that. Incredibly sweet, but is afraid of loss and rejection. They want you to send pictures of you because they find you beautiful 💘 and attractive. They love to admire you. It’s not necessary sexual in nature although it can develop, but this person has very genuine intentions towards you when they approach you. Not necessarily lustful. I think a part of them is spiritual as well, but it’s in the baby stages of developing. So when they meet you, an awakening will occur. Or many, as much as its needed to grow this person 🤗 i think you two will explore the cosmos together. This person is dreamy, romantic, and has a nostalgic vibe to them. But they won’t show this first. The more you know them, the more they are a softie. Cancer vibes are strong here, so is Scorpio and Virgo 💅🏻 thank you so much pile 2’s!! Feel free to comment, like and reblog 🤗🤍 thank you for your continued support! Your picture below —>
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Pile 3 💪❤️‍🩹: Channeled by the one and only @julyourwitch ! Hello viewers, lovely souls and even readers(tarot or not) of the pile 3! Well, let's start with the energy that I feel most strongly from signs: Earth (mostly Virgo and Taurus) Fire (Aries & Sagittarius) and a bit of Air (Gemini & Libra) but I believe there are also some placements that dominate the following signs I mentioned above! I see here that the future husband (whether female or male is not something specific) has high self-esteem and knows how to take care of himself/herself, his/her values, his/her things, important people around him/her, knows how to behave and appreciate the other as well as be appreciated back! I feel like they like to wear good quality clothes and generally obsess about wearing things to feel good about themselves (they don't discriminate against any kind of quality clothes or anything, they've been through that 'poverty' phase too) I believe that respect and manners are everything for them and how much more they see it in those around them. But there is a little ego-pathy or beauty-pathy (I mean, they feel overly beautiful and even enjoy it, I wouldn't characterize them as narcissists anyway!) They appreciate what they have and acquire, mostly they are not ungrateful and this is very important for them not to be something they don't want to become or happen to them in a situation or people. I can tell that they have an obsession or tendencies to obsess over some object or person or something that they create and make it theirs! They really love stability, they don't want to rush at all or make rushy or sudden moves/decisions without properly processing and filtering them. They want everything to be on schedule, even their time off at home/work!Something I noticed now, they may want many other things, such as more money, stability, full schedule, clothes, household items, etc...but they wouldn't at all like to see the other person just like them. As if they'll get competitive or they might make a scene and leave without let you say a word ☠️ They enjoy and rejoice greatly in the positivity of life, the satisfaction and pleasure of what they have achieved and acquired/conquered! They are very optimistic people, they'll always want to help you with the honor and generosity in them (sometimes they will want to take something from you but not maliciously) it seems that they really went through a lot either in their childhood or growing up after puberty(or while they had puberty) and they had some intense situations with people who abused and manipulated them emotionally and physically. I heard very clearly "You know, I can read your mind and how you express yourself just by your facial/body expressions" No matter what they've been through, they know when to speak up if the other person is faking, lying, or trying to hide something. They are grateful for what life has taught them, because they always say "It's all in life, so with a smile and courage it gives you strength and peace within you" Their motto is like" I'll be stronger mentally and emotionally so why should I be scared or a coward?" WOA HAHAAHAH I LAUGHED HARD HERE I'M SORRY 😭😭
Omg pile 3, your future spouse has been really hurt, victim and in a tough situation indeed but they already know that it won't be temporary they're so self aware I can't 🥺🥺 As I said, they cherish and respect people that are honest and real with them,honesty and a stable psychological or mental state are everything to them because that is what they want to see in their partner or in the world. They went through a lot of transformations and they KNEW it would happen (not only self aware here but intuitive people as well) they knew that all these situations and the pain, the impasse all these unbearable and unexpected feelings would lead to a beautiful outcome/beginning, growth and acceptance for themselves and personal/emotional healing. Your future spouse also has been feeling also out (as if they're alone 😭) They also gotta need to understand that being happy or grateful with beautiful and unique appearance won't let you love yourself. (I heard "self love is needed too") Someone closed to them-some close person who played an important role in their lives, honestly treated them like garbage. It made them feel terrible about their bodies (which they are maintaining well so far) it made them think if they really know how to love and appreciate things and people the way they are (I felt a female figure here for some reason in this behavior ) taught them to believe that "If you want to have someone close to you or get married first and foremost you will look at appearance because that is everything, I don't want our image to be ruined". Nawwwww😭😭 they might overthink a lot because of all the shitty things they went through, they don't actually want to show fragile or weak in front of you, they really prefer to not talk about it(yet but slowly their feelings will exposed them once they feel comfortable with you) they'll also be/feel/show as if they're tired but no, not tired IT MIGHT BE THE FIRST GLANCE, but once you meet and understand them better they'll open their heart to you! (I heard" You know sometimes I need your attention.. "😭😭)
With the ace of pentacles upright and 6 of wands upright as extra cards I'm getting that they're open for new opportunities and new connections even professionally and personally too, also they really adore and admire people who value their life and respect their life and family too!
Take what resonates love and leave what it doesn't! Reblog&like it if you had fun &enjoyed!
Pile 4💘🤗: Hello viewers, lovely souls and even readers (tarot or not) of the pile 4! I didn't start yet and I heard very loud ("I do see you right away") AND I GOT CHILLS. I feel for sure that the signs here are fire signs, mainly Leo and Sagittarius, or these two strong fire signs may dominate their astrological chart and they may also have a little water sign here and there (or might have Scorpio or Cancer Rising or MC) That is crazy pile 4 cuz your future spouse is really REALLY interested or into spirituality, energies, reiki and you know when Isay intuition, right?? They ALWAYS FOLLOW THEIR INTUITION AS IF IT'S THEIR BESTIE! I feel that someone higher up has taught them about how to anticipate things or think without overdoing it I feel a motherly side or some feminine energy, it could be the feminine energy/divine feminine in them)! I feel like they didn't have enough friends or they didn't have a big circle of friends, probably just acquaintances and always a smile on their face wherever they go. Such crazy and dynamic energy first time Imeet/ sense. 0o They like to watch instead of talk, they prefer to observe instead of doing it(when it's needed tho) They're really really thoughtful and very wise with their words and how exactly can make you believe and count on them. (Not in a bad way obviously) They won't let you see through them first, they'll first analyze and read you first in oder to be open and free with you Iheard "You'll see if our energy matches or not boo") Sometimes though they make some mental or creative blockages LITERALLY OUT OF NOWHERE, they can have a mini breakdown with themselves and their feelings, but guess what.. THEY'LL BE BACK AGAIN! UNSTOPPABLE ENERGY HAHAHAHA Okay I'm not gonna lie but they might not have a program or some schedule for their plans and goals(as the pile 3) but they're visionary dreamers. Actually they changed a lot of places and traveled a lot and they're not lazy/bored to do it everyday! They're literally OPEN TO EVERYONE AND ANY OPPORTUNITY OR NEW PATH. Guys, pile 4 for real I really like this energy here They're ready for everything omg omg Iheard "Al or nothing. Nothing scares you more than doing nothing or leave it in the middle " I feel that nothing and no one scares them or stops them. They are fearless and want to convey to the world the message "Whatever you do in your life, whatever risks you take, never regret them. They make you strong both mentally and externally, take it as a victory and an experience!" They would like to have such a person by their side, but not quite like them. They're so open-minded and hardworkers for their goals and dreams(they also feel like young in their hearts 9(9) Why Ido keep seeing that they're connected with their higher self and very spiritual aware too? They also tend to be mysterious and secretive mostly their private life, they're so protective with those around them and with their partner(and their life too) but also open to see if the others have good or ill intentions towards them. Sometimes they might confuse their feelings with their intuition too. (They get so deeply in some things to get to know someone till they drain their energy which is very unhealthy) omg they often get misunderstood and disrespected- I CLEARLY HEARD - " I know, it's something from my childhood, it's fine it doesn't scare me at all. Everything is ahabit"
Pile 3,they might be extroverted but inside THEY'RE SOOOO INTROVERTED! I'm getting they have also an artistic way prolly dancing or singing or something related to. (I do see painting , music. Wow they wanna share&explore everything with everyone but sometimes their introverted shyness (not always tho) makes them freeze A BIT and think about it twice. Indeed they have real and few at least 2-3 friends max they trust a lot or dearly, They're so forgiving people and they not what they did wrong or right, they can also notice/find it very easily too. They like people who are outgoing, real and pure with their energy and soul&words too. They pay big attention to eyes and lips -
They currently have some kind of financial loss but Ido see them overcome it! PILE 4 THEY'RE S 0 0 0 0 0 ENERGETIC AND ATTRACTIVE ASF O M G THEY REALLY REALLY LIKE TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR BODY AND THEIR MUSCLES OSSJEJFIXJSJE They’re so active emotionally, physically and spiritually too! Not gonna lie but they enjoy being the center of attention too- HAHAHAHA
Once you meet them guys you won't regret it! They can also bring joy and love and support to others and those around them(even when they're with their partners too) THEY'RE SO ECSTATIC HAHAHAAH REALLY REALLY GOOD THO! They'll be there when you need them not only in the good times but also in your darkest times too, full of energy Iwish Icould describe more but I'm so happy and excited in, if you guys could see my smiley face you would understand!
With the 7 of cups rx and 4 of pentacles upright, it is telling me sometimes their choices or thoughts about their actions and in their love life might be chaotic and overwhelming cuz they confuse themselves and they need some clarity and some guidance and support from their partners) and must hear their inner voice too, and might be overprotective and jealous as well but not in a crazy stage/level of being jealous or possessive too!
Take what resonates and leave behind what doesn't! Reblog &like if you had fun and enjoyed!
Thank ya’ll so much for reading our post! @julyourwitch This was incredibly fun to do with you 🤗💗 Hope ya’ll enjoyed and feel free to like, comment and reblog!
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chaotic-goodsir · 6 months
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Mutual 1: need more people to worship me honestly. it's what I deserve uwu
Mutual 2: *uquiz that's entirely musical theatre lyrics* 
Mutual 3: *that one post about a bf being someone you're allowed to bite occasionally*
Mutual 4: *gifset so long it's under a readmore* #👀👀
Mutual 5: putting that man in a box and shaking him around like a stim toy 💛 #ted spankoffski 
Mutual 6: *reblog of Mutual 5's post* some of you really need to think about the way you interact with mortals
Mutual 3: *web-weaving post about cannibalism* #me and who??? #😋
Mutual 4: *haunted theme park aesthetic post* #👀👀👀
Mutual 5: love to put that guy in Situations 💛 #ted spankoffski  
Mutual 2: DNI if you: 
- Don't like musicals
- Believe humanity deserves free will
Mutual 1: the concept of ownership is meaningless capitalism is a lie material objects cannot fill the void in your soul 
Mutual 4: *reblog of Mutual 5's post* #👀👀👀👀👀 #op did you see that there's another one? 👀
Mutual 5: Entirely new guy discovered!! updates to follow 💛 #pete spankoffski
Mutual 1: starting a new life as a marketable plushie uwu pick me up at your local toyzone
Mutual 6: Reminder for those who might need it: you are absolutely NOT required to love your family
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lycheedr3ams · 11 months
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Death's Angel
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Part 3: Taming the Beast
royal!fem!reader x executioner!konig
Summary: It's 1554. You're one of the eight daughters of the Austrian royal family, and your parents do everything they can to ensure their kingdom is prosperous and peaceful. No royal court is complete without their hand-picked executioner, one who stands out against the sea of black, faceless bodies that make up the profession. It just so happens that your family's new executioner, one who has made a name for himself far and wide for his skill with the axe, has caught your eye and ruined you for good.
Warnings: MDNI! Mentions of smut, eventual filthy smut, mutual pining, forbidden love, death (konig is an executioner duh), mean sisters, mentions of medieval-type violence, overbearing parents, konig is brooding and a perv, some predator/prey dynamics, maybe dark themes bc reader likes seeing him kill people and bc he's a perv?
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4
.......
series inspired by the art below!
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You were more than lucky that no one caught you going down to konig's quarters last week on the night of the autumn harvest ball. You made sure to keep your interactions with him the following days very brief, if you even saw him at all. this was all for his sake, so that he wouldn't be thrown out of the castle - or worse - on accusations that he seduced the Austrian royal family's princess. not that it wouldn't be the truth, but you were the one who pursued him first, after all.
you found that you could hardly concentrate during your routine literature or violin courses. your eyes would always wander out the window, scouring the fields or training area for the hooded giant. but just like his living quarters, he must train in secret, for he was rarely seen outside of the castle during daylight hours. some nights, you'd spot him from your bedroom window, washing his clothes in the moonlit stream. you wanted to call out to him, but surely others would hear, and it wasn't safe. you wished you could be like Rapunzel, to just let down your hair for him to climb to your room like a storybook prince. but you were no Rapunzel, and he was certainly no prince.
it was too risky for you to sneak down to his quarters now that things had settled down after the ball. you thought endlessly on how to get more time alone with him, to just even speak to him, even if you would be the one doing most of the speaking.
crime in your country actually seemed to almost stop now that konig was the royal family's executioner. everyone was scared of him, and of his axe. to be killed by konig was a death like no other, even though he made it swift and painless. needless to say, castle life was getting a little boring. you had enough of the routine, enough of the shy, virgin-like smiles you sent his way on the rare occasion you saw him. he was the most interesting person you've ever met.
and konig couldn't get it out of his head how you said that fire just needed to be handled properly. he replayed that night over and over again in his mind, pondering your words with every free moment he got. he couldn't admit to himself that he missed you: from your kindness and smile to your plump hips and squeezable breasts. that cloth you gave him didn't make it three days before it was soiled with his essence as he jerked off to unholy thoughts of you. he pretended to not notice the way you would owlishly stare at him from your bedroom window when he was trying to wash his clothing.
but you couldn't think of a way to see him alone again, until tonight. you watched as konig cleaned his clothes under the light of a crescent moon, but he seemed to forget a piece of clothing as he left. no one else would've been able to see the black cloth if they hadn't already known it was there. you jumped up from your daybed by the window and smiled as a plan formed in your head. much like the night of the banquet the week prior, you slipped on a cloak and some loose boots before sneaking out of the castle. it wasn't uncommon for you to take walks at night, even before konig arrived, so that alone wouldn't arouse any suspicion. the silence of the night and the cold glimmer of the moon were often your only companions.
you pretended to follow the streambank lazily, as if you weren't making a bee line for the cloth, as if it wasn't the only reason you came out tonight. the knights each had their area that they guarded every night, and you had long ago memorized each of their paths and schedules. they were no threat to your plan. when you finally approached the black cloth lying on the ground, you sat down and gently pulled it under your dress with your foot. you carefully folded the garment under your cloak and tucked it under your arm before you sat down and admired the stream for a little while, like you usually did. the easy part was over. now, you had to figure out how to get to konig's quarters without being seen.
there was no way you could march right past the knights like you did last time. there were too many servants about, and your sisters often stayed up later than they should've, just like you. you aimlessly wandered the castle grounds as you thought, and remembered that there were secret passages throughout the castle that were only supposed to be used in times of an emergency. surely returning the executioner's forgotten clothing to him was an emergency?
you walked back to your room, to trick the servants and knights into thinking you were going to bed, before you entered one of the secret passages to the basement. it was hidden behind a painting that rested on the floor rather than hung. only you knew about it, somehow. maybe no one else ever bothered to wonder why one painting wasn't hung out of the thousands that already adorned the castle.
you could risk bringing no torch with you, so you braced the cold darkness of the passages and followed them down. in your younger years, you would often hide in these passages from your sisters, or when someone made you upset and you couldn't get away. but you had never been past the main level. but down you went, until you reached the trapdoor exit and were right in the middle of the basement servant's quarters. they all seemed to be asleep, so you quietly climbed onto the floor and descended down konig's staircase. you were slightly more confident this time since you've visited him before, but it was still like knocking on death's door.
you gently knocked and whispered his name. you heard the bed creak, and he opened the door a moment later. he didn't look all that surprised to see you, like he did last time. he wordlessly looked down at you.
right as you were about to hand his discarded garment to him, you realized that he might find it creepy how you knew he left a piece of black clothing, outside, at night, while you were supposed to be asleep. you blushed, and pursed your lips shut. he tilted his hooded head to show he was confused. but he already knew you watched him, so would it really be that weird? you couldn't think of an easy excuse as to why else you would be down here, knocking on his door in the dead of night. so, you timidly handed him his folded garment that he left by the stream.
"you...left this," you said quietly without meeting his eyes. he gently reached and took the garment from your hands. you lowered your head in shame as you realized you had become a stalker. you were about to turn to leave when his voice pierced the air, even though he spoke very quietly.
"can you handle fire?"
you looked up at him with wide eyes, and you must've looked like a spooked animal. you chewed the inside of your cheek.
"i'd like to think that I can," you responded breathlessly.
his silence gave you the idea that he was satisfied with your answer. but his gaze was so heavy that you could barely control your mouth before you blurted,
"i'm sorry i'm not stalking you i just think you're really interesting."
his eyes widened at that, and you blushed as you realized what you had just said. you turned to run up the stairs, needing to get away from his all-knowing gaze, before his strong hand grabbed your arm and pulled you into his room. he shut the door with his other hand and pushed you somewhat roughly against his hard, wooden door. his body caged you in as he leaned an elbow above your head and curved his back down so that your eyes were level while his other hand hung at his side. giving you an escape if you wanted. but you couldn't will your body to move. you had awoken a beast.
"you should not talk to me," he warned through gritted teeth.
you could barely breathe. "why?"
his eyes went up and down your frame before he gulped and answered.
"bad idea," he rasped.
you were truly a lamb caught within the wolf's jaws. your breath grew labored.
"I don't think so," you whispered.
"i am an executioner. you are a princess," he said, almost angrily.
you looked him in his eyes, and he truly had the look of a predator. his pupils were pinpricks swimming within a sea of grey-blue. "i don't care."
it seemed he tried to restrain himself with some hidden leash, with the way his body trembled as he caged you in. was he aroused? angry? scared? you couldn't tell.
"i will ruin you," he stated.
your body went on autopilot. you smirked.
"i'd like to see you try."
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taglist: @kneelingshadowsalome, @plumdreadful
very filthy smut next chapter!!!!!
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