#my accounts been so dead and I’m still about to hit 400 followers??

[cherriiramen]

GUESS WHO’S BACK (or not??)

#my accounts been so dead and I’m still about to hit 400 followers?? #it was a nice surprise to see 😭❤️ #I’ve been on such a massive artblock but im trying to get better ahsjsjw #i also just #have been highly inactive on my social media platforms in general #which I also need to fix #BUT HEYYYY IM ALIVE #and im really sorry to anyone who tagged me or texted me during that period #i spent like nearly an hour scrolling through all my notifications #they were just that many 😭😭 #cherrii.txt

[dimpled-gukkie]

Call Me A Thief

a/n: Happy birthday Shay @today-we-will-survive​ !!!!! I can’t believe we’ve only celebrated two birthdays of yours thus far. It feels like we’ve been friends forever. Once again I’m going to say that I’m so thankful you’re my friend and thank you for being my rock and sometimes the only person I can talk to. I hope we can celebrate many more years together and that this is your best year yet! Love you - your ghost bestie/ whatever that really long one I never remember is 

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader / Kim Taehyung x Reader (brief mentions of Jung Hoseok x Reader as a past relationship)

Genre: College AU, e2l, idiots to lovers, angst, fluff 

Word Count: 31.3k

Warnings: mild language, minor self-hatred (more so in the form of self doubt), mentions of drinking but not descriptions, Jimin shows up tipsy, I guess name calling but it’s not that serious, a sick pet for a short minute, oc gets somewhat depressed towards the end but it’s resolved 

Summary: In a series of truly misfortunate events, a thief, a plantnapper and a muse-seeking photographer somehow cross paths on their admittedly huge (40,000 students huge) college campus. At first glance they’re just strangers but the more they get to know each other the more they realize their roots intertwine. If the universe had kept them apart for this long, surely it wouldn’t bring them together for a disaster. Right? 

You’re an idiot. Perhaps that stupidest person you know. I mean how can you steal someone’s bag thinking it’s yours? Especially when your backpack isn’t even black and yet here you are staring blankly at the black backpack that lies limply on the table in front of you. Staring at the bag you blink listlessly at it like maybe if you blink enough times the mirage will fade and your own backpack will be in front of you. And yet several silent moments later the black backpack still sits in front of you. You don’t even know who it could belong to. Your lecture consists of 400 students, the owner of the bag could be any of them. Even worse if you email your professor about it to return the stolen item you’ll be known as the girl who stole it. You’ll be a thief. Exhaling a large sigh you slump down onto the desk in front of you, a large thumping sound ringing through the otherwise silent top floor of the library, those around you unaware of the self-damning thoughts running through your mind. 

“Wake up nerd.” Jimin’s voice says and you don’t even have to look up to know he’s looming above you, enjoying the fact that he’s towering over you for once. Oh the woes of the tiny man with the tiny hands. He pushes your shoulder with said tiny hands and you’re half considering becoming weightless and letting him shove your limp body out of the chair just so the feeling of your ass hitting the hard ground will keep you from thinking about your mistake. You can’t even make fun of Jimin for being a dumb blonde now. Well, you could say he’s killing your brain cells. Your lips quirk up at the thought, placated by the idea of pinning your mistake on your innocent best friend. After all, teasing Jimin is your favorite part of the day. 

“Are you dead!” Jimin whispers and you shoot your head up just to glare at him. 

“Don’t act so excited. Plus if I were to die I would not want to go out in a library. How unglamorous.” 

“It would be rather tasteless wouldn’t it?” He pauses for a minute before his eyes widen. “Not that anything is wrong with dying in a library. I’m sure it’s cool.” He laughs awkwardly and you can’t help but chuckle. Ever since he watched that paranormal activity movie with Yoongi, Jimin is convinced that ghosts are real and that they’re listening to every word he says. Like they’d want to follow around a guy who spends his days trying to find the most incognito insoles and browsing the hair dye section at Walgreens. But alas Jimin has always been a victim of the spotlight effect and if you had to guess would view his life as some sort of reality tv show.

“Hey whose backpack is that? Are you meeting someone?” Jimin asks, nodding to the incriminating black bag still on the table. You groan and are in the midst of throwing your head back onto the table when Jimin forcefully stops you by wrapping his hands around your face. Unfortunately, he miscalculates which results in his palms slapping your cheeks while his fingers dig into your mouth that they’d mistakenly pried open. You sputter and scrunch your face in distaste, making a similar expression to that of a baby that has just tried a lemon. 

“When was the last time you washed your hands?” You screech, unaware of the eyes on you. “I can taste the day old cheeto dust. You’ve infected me!” You whine, taking a swig of your water to gurgle like it’s mouthwash. “I need to eat soap or something.” 

“I’m the victim here! Who knows where your mouth has been. Tell me, when was the last time you saw Jung Hoseok?” Jimin also screeches then proceeds to wince when you smack his arm. 

“You ass! I haven’t seen him since we broke up a year ago, you know that.” Jimin nods while pouting, rubbing the spot on his arm like your slap stung. When he sees you looking at the movement his mouth pulls into a smirk as he rolls up his sleeve to reveal his bicep. 

“Kiss it better?” He teases, yelping and jumping backwards before you can smack him again. 

“You’re insufferable.” 

“Ditto.” 

“No one even says ditto anymore.” You scoff and he just shrugs. 

“I’ll bring it back, after all I’m famous you know?” 

“Just because you got ten likes on your tweet about your ex doesn’t mean you’re famous.” 

“Say that to my 200 followers.” He runs his fingers through his hair, his own version of a hair flip, before returning his attention back to the incriminating item on the table. “So is someone here with you or…” 

“I may have accidentally stolen someone’s backpack thinking it was mine…” You mumble, hoping that Jimin might not hear you. For a moment you think he might not have until you hear wheezing coming from beside you, Jimin practically sprawled across the floor as his laughter comes out in tiny squeaks. “It’s not funny! This is the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done! All the bleach fumes from dying your hair has rotted my brain. This is all your fault Jimin.” You whine, bottom lip jutted and brows furrowed as you take on the expression of a kicked puppy. Jimin pauses for a moment in his laughter to observe your behavior before letting out two more huffs. 

“Aww don’t pout kitkat.” Jimin coos, pinching your cheeks between his chubby fingers as he pulls them back and forth until you crack a smile. His plush lips draw into a smile of their own, his eyes creasing as he gently taps your nose. “See kitkat it’s not that big of a deal. Do you know who it belongs to?” When you shake your head ‘no’ he frowns a little before a mischievous smile pulls at his lips. 

“Well we could always look through it? To find the name of the owner of course.” Of course. Not because you’re nosey bitches or anything. 

“If I see one more skull I’m going to scream.” Jimin groans, throwing his head back against your pillows as a textbook you pulled from the backpack lays in front of him. 

“To be fair it is an anatomy textbook and a skull is part of the human body. They’re at least doodling things related to the subject.” 

“But the angst kitkat! I feel like this person only listens to MCR or something.” He whines, displeased with the artist’s choice of subject. 

“I think they’re kinda cool though. The shading’s really good and look! This one is a skull made out of butterflies.” Your fingers run along the drawing lightly, careful not to smudge the artist’s hard work but enjoying following the intricate line work.

“Besides in this notebook there’s all types of different drawings. Some marvel stuff, some succulents. I even found a cute little dog drawing!” You say, turning the notebook around to show him the little dog scrawled in the margins, its small fluffy face smiling. 

“You mean I’ve been looking at skulls for nothing?” 

“I mean I don’t know why you thought you’d find their name in a textbook but I thought maybe you were interested in the subject or something.” You shrug, ignoring the glare Jimin sends your way. 

“You suck.” He declares, sticking his tongue out at you when you look at him. You stick yours at him in response. 

“Bite me.” 

“Oh I see someone’s been watching 90’s movies lately. Tell me, do you imagine finding your own heath ledger like Kat? Or perhaps you’re more of the creepy ‘I’m gonna fall for my step-brother’ type like Cher. Though personally, I got to say I’m a big fan of the ‘childhood best friends to lovers’ trope but I digress. Hey have you found any clues yet?” 

“Well we know they’re an anatomy student and like art. I also found ‘JJK’ scribbled next to a drawing on a scrap of paper that fell out of one of the notebooks so I’m hoping that’s their initials. So we can go through the class roster and hopefully there’s an angsty bio/medical student with those initials.” Pulling out your laptop you migrate from the floor to the bed, pulling out the roster for your english class. Ever so slowly you scroll through the roster, thankful to find only two names with the initials JJK.: Jeon Jungkook and Jung Jaekwan. 

“I think we have an easy solution here. I stalk one and you stalk the other and we see which one was more likely to be in a punk band of some sort when they were in high school.” Jimin suggests, already heading towards your closet to find the best stalker outfit. 

“Or we could just find their instagrams?” You say and Jimin flicks his hand like he’s physically brushing off your suggestion. 

“Already tried, both private. That means they’re probably ugly.” 

“Hey my accounts are private!” You exclaim and you can tell by the way Jimin’s shoulders slightly scrunch inwards that he’s stifling a laugh. 

“Case in point. Anyways, what screams sexy Joe Goldberg? Like we’re definitely going full-stalker mode but like not ‘I’m going to kill you’ yandere vibes.” Jimin ignores the pillow you throw at him, continuing to babble about the perfect outfit like he didn’t just offend you. 

“This is stupid.” You grumble into the miniature walkie-talkie Jimin bought from Walmart, dressed in large sunglasses, black tights and dress, adorned with your black docs. Ever the self-proclaimed fashion icon, Jimin dressed you in every black article of clothing you owned. The sun beat down on you from above, it was rather warm for a late spring day, and you tried to ignore the way sweat began to accumulate under the black ball cap (“It’s the Joe trade mark!”Jimin exclaimed when you protested him adding that to the already questionable outfit seeing as it is almost summer). 

“And stealing someone’s backpack that’s not even the same color as your own is stupid but you don’t hear me criticizing your ideas.” He snarks back at you through the small device. 

“It wasn’t like I planned on it! I told you it was an accident!” You screech at him, only to scream as another voice sounds out from behind you. 

“What are you doing?” You turn around to face a guy with blonde hair, an old camera clutched between his large hands as he crouches down beside you. 

“What are you doing?” You parrot, mind unable to conjure up a reasonable and not weird reason for why you’re here. Here being ducked behind an overgrown bush off to the side of the life science building in hopes you’ll see Jeon Jungkook emerge from the now-finishing Anatomy 101 lecture. It’s one of four and you’re hoping that your mystery man that you’ve loosely memorized from his profile picture- although half his face is obscured by large wire framed glasses that you can’t figure out if are real or for fashion- hears your beckoning call and comes out of those double doors.

“Photography assignment.” The guy holds up the camera to justify his statement. “Are you looking for something?” He glances at the surrounding area before noticing the walkie-talkie in your hand. 

“Oh I used to love those as a kid!” Snatching it from your fingers he immediately talks into it and you face palm as you imagine Jimin’s face on the receiving end. “Houston this is starship one. We are prepared to land. Houston do you hear me?” The stranger giggles, lips forming into a peculiar grin before his eyes widen when Jimin’s voice crackles through the cheap speaker. 

“Listen dumbass, I’m out here before 2:00 pm trying to resurrect your mistake and you’re playing games with a stranger?! Do you not understand that I sacrificed my beauty sleep for this? I’m seeing Soyeon during lecture today and you know I like to look good for her.” 

Snatching the device from the stranger you hurry to appease your best friend. “I’m sorry Jiminie! But you don’t need beauty sleep, you’re already the most handsome guy I know.” 

“I’m listening.” Jimin says after your pause. 

“You could rival Aphrodite herself! In fact I’m sure that’s why she led me to steal someone’s backpack so you’d lose said beauty sleep so she could have a chance at being prettier than you!” You cringe at your own words, you don’t think you’ve ever laid it on this thick, but you need Jimin. He’s the only one you know shameless enough to help you in such an endeavor, I mean you’re literally stalking someone just to find out if you have their backpack. Plus you really didn’t mean to hurt Jimin’s feelings. 

“That was a bit too much for my taste but I appreciate your sentiment. You’ve been redeemed. Now tell your friend he either needs to go or help us.” When you turn to said “friend” he’s staring at you with pink lips parted, strong eye brows pulled together in confusion as you watch him try to process what just happened. You can’t believe someone’s witnessed the monstrosity of this whole situation, much less someone so handsome. It really would be your luck. You must be cursed or something. 

“You stole someone’s backpack?” Ahh it seems that tiny detail is what his mind has fixated on the most. 

“No not stole, accidentally took. Why would you steal someone’s bag?” 

“I don’t know, you tell me.” He shrugs, moving to stand up and you immediately scramble up after him, thoughts of finding whoever Jeon Jungkook is long forgotten. 

“You don’t understand, it was an accident! I was tired and grabbed the one nearest me before walking out. And I’m trying to return it I just don’t know who it is so I was trying to see if this guy is missing a backpack.” You ramble, too lost in your narrative to notice the way he smiles almost fondly down at you. 

“And the walkie talkie?” 

“Oh you see we have two suspects-“ You start only to be interrupted. 

“Suspects?” 

“Yes suspects, I don’t have a better word. But I’m supposed to watch for one guy and Jimin watch for another- that’s the guy who cussed me out earlier- but I got distracted and now I just missed him which means I have to sit outside this stupid hall for the rest of the day to make sure he’s not in any of the other lectures to see if he was in this one and I just realized that he could’ve missed today which means I might have to wear this stupid outfit again-“ 

The handsome stranger raises his hand to stop your word vomit and you give him a sheepish smile when your words finally stop pouring out. “While I would like to stick around and hear more about your detective work, I have class in approximately ten minutes so I need to get going.” He says and you try to hide the way you deflate a little. 

“Oh okay.” He smiles at you one final time before jogging in the opposite direction while you watch after him. Jeon Jungkook be damned, just who was that? 

After your failed attempt at locating the aloof Jeon Jungkook- not that you were really looking because your mind was clogged with thoughts of your mystery man with the pretty smile- you trudge back to your tiny apartment in hopes to get some peace and quiet. The dream is destroyed, however, when you can hear the music from your neighbor all the way down the hall by the elevators. Agitated and sweaty, you march towards their door, more than willing to be an annoying neighbor if it means you can nap. 

The cheap door rattles lightly under your heavy fists and you can’t help the satisfaction it brings you. Banging on a door is truly a great way to release tension it seems. A muffled “Turn it down so I can think!” sounds through the thin wood and the music lowers just barely. They might as well have not even bothered to fiddle with the volume at all. The door swings open and a guy with shoulders almost as wide as the doorway- you don’t know whether his shoulders are just that huge or if the door is that small, maybe both- leans against it lazily as his gaze flickers down your form. 

“You’re not Namjoon.” Is the thought that makes its way out of your brain and into the atmosphere, the four word sentence stilling the air between you two. 

“Well you’re right there sweetheart. I’m his much more handsome older brother. And you are?” He asks and you’re rather thankful that he decided to go with it rather than think about what type of idiot states who someone clearly is not. Maybe you really are getting dumber. 

“Y/n, the lovely neighbor who just wants to take a nap. Which I can’t do if your music is so loud that I can hear it all the way down the hall.” He pauses for a moment to take in what you’ve said before pressing off the door to stand straight in front of you. He towers over you and you can’t help but shrink back a little. 

“Namjoon did tell me about a nice neighbor but he never gave me a name. Though since you’re complaining about my music I wouldn’t go so far as to say you’re lovely.” 

“Hey I had a long day!” You exclaim, raising back to your full height like that will somehow get him to take you more seriously. Though with the lazy smirk he gives you, your need to prove yourself only provides him entertainment. 

“Well I’ve had a rather long day too, I’ve been babysitting all day.” A scoff of protest sounds from behind him and you try and inconspicuously look around the wide-shouldered man to see who else is inside Namjoon’s apartment. All you can see though is a random figure drowning in an oversized hoodie on the couch before the man at the door requests your attention again. Perhaps if you had looked a little harder you would’ve noticed the wire frame glasses sitting neatly on the glass end table. “Which is why I’m playing my music to relax. And drown out the incessant whining. ‘Seokjin get me water. Seokjin make me food. Seokjin do my math homework’, like I’m even good at such thing. I’m a liberal arts student.” You can’t help but laugh at the way he whines out the demands of presumably the other stranger in the apartment, his voice pitched higher than normal like he’s trying to imitate a child. 

“Well Seokjin, I have just one request. Can you please turn the music down by like a third so I won’t hear it through the wall?” You bring your hands to clasp together in front of you, cocking your head to the side while batting your eyelashes up at him. He seems like the type to like aegyo. Evidently your assumption is very much wrong as he scrunches his nose in distaste. 

“Please never make that face again. But I guess I can turn it down since you asked so nicely. Though next time you have a request for me at least buy me dinner first?” He says before waving at you goodbye through a laugh and shutting the door. The music now a quiet murmur in the hallway as you open your own apartment door. Odd, Namjoon never mentioned having roommates. 

Apparently you too have surprise roommates as a tipsy Jimin appears at your door with a suitcase behind him as he stumbles into your apartment along with his small calico cat named Kimchi who immediately jumps out of his arms when she recognizes your apartment. “Jimin?” You say tentatively, almost like if you say his name too loud he’ll snap. “What’re you doing here at 2 a.m?” 

“Mad at Yoongi. Living here now.” Is the only explanation he gives you before trudging into your bedroom, the bed creaking as he flops down on it meanwhile his suitcase still stands next to you in the living room. Kimchi pays no mind to her owner’s sad drunken form, kneading at your old couch until she finds a soft spot to curl up on. 

“Jiminie, what did Yoongi do?” 

“Told me he saw Soyeon making out with some guy in a bar yesterday.” Jimin sniffles, crawling over to lay his head in your lap when you sit down on the other side of your bed. Your fingers immediately weave through the soft strands gently similar to the way a mother would soothe her child. 

“You’re mad because he told you?” You ask. 

“Mad because he lied. Soyeon told me she couldn’t go to the movies yesterday because she had to study for an exam today. She even told me it went really well when I saw her in our com lecture. Why would Yoongi lie to me about that when he knows how I feel about her?” You can’t help the way you look down at Jimin pitifully, glad that he’s turned away from you so he can’t see the sadness in your eyes. Min Yoongi is nothing if not painfully blunt but he’s always been honest. So you know that he’s telling Jimin the truth, a truth that Jimin- blinded by his love for Soyeon that’s been growing since freshman year of college when they shared english 101- doesn’t want to hear nor accept. It’s a truth you’ve been trying to ease him into for months now, the fact that despite Soyeon knowing Jimin’s feelings she’s never made an effort to actually put effort into a relationship with him. She only drags him back in with faux affection when she can feel her hold on him begin to slip between her fingers. Jimin’s body begins to shake again as his mind drifts off to what Yoongi said again, your legs becoming slightly wet as his tears trickle onto them. 

‘Aww Jiminie,” You sigh, moving a hand to wipe at his tears on the cheek available to you. “It’s gonna be okay, you and Yoongi will still be friends after this.” 

“I just don’t know why he’d tell me that. Just thinking about her with someone else makes it feel like someone is stabbing me and cutting my heart out piece by piece. Make the pain go away kitkat. Please.” He whimpers and your heart breaks alongside him as tears fall down your own cheeks. You wish you could take the heartache away, you wish he’d never met Soyeon, that he found someone who loved him as much as he deserves. You wish that there was something you could do but sadly Jimin will have to get over his feelings on his own. There’s not much you can do besides wipe away his tears. 

“I’m so sorry Jiminie, but it’ll get better. You’ll find someone who’ll love you more than she ever could.” it’s the only solace you can offer him at the moment and while now it does nothing you hope it plants a little seed in his mind to later sprout into hope for the future. 

“Yoongi wasn’t lying was he?” Jimin says after a few minutes, voice so soft you almost miss it entirely. 

“I don’t think so bub.” You whisper, brushing his hair back from his face softly. 

“Can I still stay here? I just need some time away to think and figure out how to apologize.” 

“Stay for as long as you need.” You tell him, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to the side of his head. “What’re best friends for?” 

You wake up early the next morning to Kimchi sitting on your chest, patting your face gently with her paw. “Hi sweetheart.” You say softly and she responds by rubbing her face against yours. “You hungry?” You ask her to which she meows in response. Sitting up slowly she jumps off of you and waits impatiently for you by the door, yelling at you to hurry up. Rubbing your eyes you slip on your slippers before following her to the kitchen to make sure she doesn’t wake Jimin up. Thankfully you had babysat Kimchi earlier this year and have leftover food for her which you pour into a little bowl before moving onto making breakfast for you and Jimin. Settling on pancakes, because really who doesn’t like waking up to pancakes, you head downstairs to the nearby market to buy the necessary ingredients as well as a litter box for Kimchi. You’re not really sure how long Jimin will be staying with you but judging by the fact Jimin needs time to think about just how to apologize you can only guess the blowout between him and Yoongi was pretty bad. He’ll probably be staying for at least a week to build up the courage to even face your eldest friend. 

Pushing the shopping cart through the empty isles of the shop- honestly you should come here only in the early mornings because there’s no one to get in your way when you glide across the isles on the back of the cart- you pause in front of the small plant section in the corner of the store. They’re mostly succulents and little flowers for people who’ve forgotten anniversaries and need to pick up one last minute but you contemplate bringing home a little aloe vera plant. Jimin has always talked about wanting to start becoming a plant dad and maybe this will cheer him up a little. Just before you can grab it because yes you do need that little plant to add to the forest that is your apartment, it’s snatched up by someone’s grubby hands. You squawk in disbelief- yes sadly squawk but it’s also 8 in the morning so do you really care- blinking at the plantnapper in shock. “That’s my plant.” Similar to the not-Namjoon Seokjin incident your mouth moves before your mind has time to process what you’re going to say. 

“Is your name on it?” The thief says and you internally gag. Ugh he’s one of those guys. 

“Yes actually it’s written as ‘fuck you’ in the soil.” You grumble, crossing your arms over your chest as you stare at your plant clutched between his fingers forlornly. You don’t even bother to look up at his face, his identity shall be nothing but a plantnapper to you. 

“Are you always this pleasant?” He says airily and you almost look up at him just from hearing the smirk in his voice but refrain. He doesn’t deserve the satisfaction. 

“Are you always such an ass?” You quip and to your anger he laughs. He giggles like you just told him the funniest joke of the century and you can feel your insides heat up as you struggle not to throttle him. 

“If I recall correctly all I did was take this plant. You’re the one who started calling me names and cussing me out.” You hate that he’s right but you’ve always been known for your stubbornness. 

“I wouldn’t have said anything if you weren’t a thief.” You tell him, reaching out to grab the plant from his hands when you notice his grip slacken slightly in confusion. If only he didn’t have good reflexes as he holds the little succulent high above his head. 

“Ah ah ah,” He tuts and you finally look up at him, coming face to face with large round eyes glinting with happiness. You scowl further as you realize he won and got you to look at him. “Such a shame a pretty face is wasted.” He says, you can just imagine the ear-splitting grin hidden behind his large black face mask. 

“Give me my plant.” You deadpan, wanting to end the altercation all together. You’d lost the will to want it so badly as soon as he pointed out that he was in fact right and you had been the one to start this petty argument, but now your desire to not lose has won over and you’re adamant on leaving with the plant still trapped in his hands. 

“Say please and I’ll consider it.” He counters, unaffected by the sharp glare you send his way. 

“I saw it first!” You whine and again he giggles. 

“What is this, elementary school? Well in that case, you snooze you loose!” If it weren’t for the face mask obscuring his mouth you just know he would be sticking his tongue out at you. Just the thought irks you enough to submit to his will. 

“Fine, can I please have the plant?” You sigh hating the way his eyes twinkle. 

“Sure thing.” He says before setting it down on the highest shelf available, one you’ll have to scale the shelf case just to grab. When he notices your expression of both defeat and annoyance his eyes crinkle once more into a large grin as he pats the top of your head lightly. “Have a nice day!” He sings before walking off in the opposite direction. You flip off his parting figure before sighing and staring at the aloe vera plant helplessly. You can’t just leave it there in case he comes back to see if you’ve managed to snag the plant. If it’s still there that means he’ll have bested you three times and you can’t have that even if he is a total stranger. 

Your feet are perched on the bottom rung of the shelving as you reach up aimlessly with one hand, your mind so busy cursing out the stranger that you don’t hear the approaching footsteps of another person until a hand comes over your outstretched one and grabs the plant. Not again, you groan internally. 

“Listen-“ You begin, turning around fully ready to be faced with a smirking crinkly eyed boy only to sputter when you realize it’s the guy with the camera you couldn’t get out of your head yesterday. He has a little apron on, one that all the employees wear, and a large silver name tag that displays his name so prettily. 

“Were you trying to get this little guy?” He asks, voice warm and smooth like honey as he gently strokes his finger along one of the leaves of the small plant. His brown hair is like the color of milk chocolate, softened by the early morning sun and he’s so beautiful and warm you fully forget how to function. Like your brain short circuits and for a moment you forget where you are and what you were saying. 

“Uhh yeah.” You manage to spit out after awkwardly gaping at him for who knows how long. “Thanks…Taehyung.” His name sounds so natural coming out of your mouth- but that’s probably just because you’re secretly a hopeless romantic who gets caught up in pretty boys much too easily- and you can’t help but wish that you’ll get to say it many more times. He gingerly hands the plant over to you and you can feel your cheeks getting hot when his fingers brush your own. 

“Anytime stalker girl.” He giggles. It’s such an endearing sound. 

“Y/n, my name is y/n.” You tell him, nervously fiddling with the leaves of your little plant. 

“Need any help finding anything else?” He asks you and maybe- just maybe- you ask him to show you where the cat stuff is. But only because you don’t know- you do- where the cat stuff is and not because you want to spend more time with him- like how you ask his opinion on what food flavors Kimchi would like when she’s not even your cat and you have food at home. 

Thankfully Jimin is still asleep when you arrive home which means you can still surprise him. You were a little stressed when you realized just how much time you had spent talking to Taehyung- just the thought of him makes you smile like a lovesick fool, grinning to yourself in your empty kitchen as you unload the groceries- but it turns out the emotional turmoil Jimin’s going through is enough to make him exhausted. Kimchi watches you mix the batter curiously from the top of the refrigerator, her tail flicking gently almost like it’s swaying to the music playing softly from your phone. “Should I make bacon?” You ask her, nodding affirmatively when she meows back at you that yes, you should. 

The bacon sizzles as it hits the hot pan while you stand as far away as possible, carefully placing each strip with salad tongs. You jump when the grease pops, mind flashing back to the time Jimin almost set the dorm kitchen on fire. For someone who had worked in a restaurant during high school you would think he’d know not to put water in a hot pan of oil. Kimchi also hates the sound, her tail whacking you in the face as it flicks agitatedly. You wipe at your tongue furiously after feeling what can only be cat hair in your mouth- possibly the worst texture of all time- before making eye contact with a sleepy Jimin leaning against the hallway wall. “You’re cooking?” He asks, no stranger to finding cat hair in uncomfortable places. 

“Thought I’d surprise you.” You smile awkwardly, gesturing to the pan before flinching when the oil pops. 

“Breakfast in bed? Your future boyfriend will be the luckiest guy out there. I didn’t even have to put out.” Jimin laughs, disregarding the way you internally gag at the thought of being intimate with Jimin. It’s not that you don’t think he’s attractive because lets’s be honest, with his plush lips that could rival any bratz doll, thick head of black hair and amazing physique from dancing- you really should’ve took him up on taking classes with him- he’s a straight stunner. His sweet and charming albeit snarky personality only makes him even more alluring. If only you hadn’t known him for so long- more like took baths with him as babies- you’d probably see him as something more than just an annoying, lovable little brother. You say little despite him being older because this man really does act like a five year old sometimes. 

“Please never put that image into my head again.” You say, ignoring the way he rolls his eyes. 

“It’s your fault for imagining it. Ugh now you’re making me think about it; when will the torture end?” He whines only pausing his dramatics when you put a stack of bacon and pancakes in front of him. Immediately he slathers them in butter and syrup, completely silent as he digs in. 

“Wow thank you, Y/n you’re the best! I couldn’t ask for a better best friend.” You say sarcastically, patting yourself on the back before turning to flip your own pancakes. 

“Thanks you.” Jimin sings through a mouthful of food, standing up to give you a sticky kiss on the cheek in appreciation. 

“Gross!” You yell, wiping your cheek on a nearby dish towel before twisting it to snap it at Jimin. He shrieks in terror and you laugh manically, plating your own breakfast before sitting besides him at the counter top. The barstools creak under your weight- although what did you expect when you bought the cheapest ones available at Ikea- and you half worry it’s going to break but thankfully you don’t end up bruising your ass today. “I did such a good job. These are delicious, wow.” This time you really do give yourself on the back, proud to say that you’ve still got it. They’re fluffy, not burned, and edible. Someone needs to cast you for top chef. 

Jimin chuckles from beside you, the two of you eating in silence until Jimin notices the small aloe vera plant next to the fridge. “You bought another plant?” He says exasperated, almost like your slight plant addiction has offended him. 

“Firstly I told you the more plants the better the air quality. Plus more free oxygen.” 

“All oxygen is free stupid.” 

“Anyways, since you wanted to be a plant dad I thought you could start out with this little guy. It should be relatively easy but I can help you if you have any questions.” 

“Oh, thanks. I guess I’m a proud father of two now.” Standing up Jimin grabs the little plot, cradling it between his fingers. “It needs a name.” 

“Cherry.” 

“I hate cherries.” Jimin says going so far as to pucker his lips and scrunch his nose to show his distaste. 

“Not cherry cherries, Cherry.” You say, sighing and rolling your eyes when Jimin doesn’t understand the clear difference. “Only the best character in animal crossing, duh.” 

“She doesn’t even wear Gucci.” Jimin scoffs and you place a hand over your heart, wholly offended by the slander taking place in front of you. 

“Just because she’s not a hypebeast does not make her inferior. Besides aren’t you more of a YSL guy? Gucci is their direct competition.” 

“I just- Cherry and Kimchi sounds horrible.” Jimin sighs. 

“Please.” You plead, pulling your best puppy dog eyes. “I went through so much just to get it.” 

“Did you embarrass yourself again?” Jimin’s voice is something along the lines of a disappointed mom- the one where they just kinda sigh it out because they shouldn’t have expected you to change- and you just flash him a smile. 

“If you’re asking if I was mid-scaling a case of shelves to try and get Cherry from the very top and the hottest guy I’ve ever seen caught me in the act then yes. But I only had to scale it because this jerk wanted to flex his height and put it up there so I had to climb to get it. I mean he’s not even like super tall he’s just normal tall so maybe it’s an inferiority complex. Can tall guys have those?” You ramble, mid-tangent when Jimin raises a hand to stop you. 

“Fine we can name it Cherry. But just know when people ask me why that’s the name I’m blaming you.” 

“You act like Kimchi is not just as weird. She’s not even mainly orange.” Feeling a pair of eyes on you you turn and come face to face with Kimchi who had left her post on the fridge to make her presence known. If she had eye brows you swear she’d be glaring since her eyes have lost their typical round shape and are more angular. “Sorry baby you know I still love you.” You tell her, rubbing the top of her head until she purrs. 

“Don’t listen to her Kim, she’s lying.” Jimin whispers conspiratorially to which you gasp. Pulling her into your chest you cover her ears as you cradle her. 

“Don’t put such words in her head. I even bought new food for her!” 

“Are you stalking me?” A voice you’d recognize anywhere, Taehyung’s, says to your left and you swear you’ve never turned faster in your life. 

“Don’t flatter yourself.” You tease, chuckling to hide the way your heart races at the sight of him. HIs hair is a wavy mess today, toeing the line between bedhead and purposely but ever so sexy all the same. He’s wearing a thin, black sweater today tucked into some loose brown plaid plants and looks effortlessly good. It’s truly unfair for him to be this attractive, you’re not sure your heart- nor your stomach with the way butterflies are fluttering rampantly in your ribcage- can take it. “Besides aren’t you the one doing the stalking? After all I was here first.” 

“Very true but I also caught you in the act the other day, so I can’t be too sure.” He teases, nudging your arm with his own. “So have you found the guy you’re looking for yet?” He asks, moving to sit next to a bench a few feet away and patting the spot next to him. 

“Not yet, he’s more aloof than I thought.” 

“A buddy of mine had his bag stolen recently too. Apparently you’re not the only kleptomaniac on campus.” 

“I’m not a thief!” You exclaim, playfully slapping his shoulder as he giggles at you. 

“Alright, alright.” He says throwing his hands up in mock surrender. 

“Oh hey how’d your photography assignment go?” You ask, half curious and half itching to fill the silence between the two of you. 

“Nothing really struck my interest.” He shrugs. “You’re actually the only thing I could think of the rest of the day.” He says it so casually like he’s talking about what he ate that day, completely unaware of the way you clam up beside him. How do you even respond to that?

Laughing awkwardly because your mind has shut down and you’ve been left to follow your useless instincts, you fiddle with the rings on your fingers. “Yeah you’re pretty interesting yourself.” You want to bash your head into the sidewalk. That’s the best you could come up with?

“Want to be my muse?” He turns to you then, looking at you like you’re the most interesting thing to him. It makes you nervous, what will he do when he finds out that you’re just average? 

“If you want me to be.” You say softly, avoiding meeting his eyes. You’re mad at yourself for how shy you’ve become but you’ve never been in a situation like this before. Taehyung is just so blunt and sweet, but you’re so accustomed to loving insults that you don’t know how to respond in something that’s not sarcastic. 

“I want to catch you in your element.” He says, reaching over to take your hand in his own. Your cheeks heat up instinctively and you turn away to hide it, turning back around when you hear the familiar shutter of a camera. You didn’t even realize he had it.

“I’m afraid I’m not that interesting.” You tell him earnestly, unable to hide your crestfallen expression. 

“I beg to differ. I mean how many girls do you find that hide in bushes outside science lectures and use mini walkie-talkies?” You can’t help but crack a smile, imagining yourself from his point of view. That must’ve been quite the sight. 

“That was a one time event. Well hopefully. I’m just kinda wishing the owner of the bag will just appear in front of me.” You sigh, looking forlornly at the life science building. You just knew the owner had to be in there somewhere. 

“That’d be easy.” Taehyung laughs, his smile falling when his phone buzzes. “I have to go to class but I’ll see you again okay?” 

“Oh okay. Should I give you my number then?” You ask, fumbling with your phone to bring up the contacts page. 

“Sure, though I think through fate we’d meet again anyways. Don’t you think it means something that out of the 40,000 students on campus we found each other?” His eyes twinkle with mirth and you smile back at him, hoping that this is some kind of act of fate. Maybe you’ve even found your soulmate. 

“I hope so.” You tell him, smile growing as a boxy grin takes over his face. You’ve never met someone so adorable. He waves at you goodbye, throwing you a cheesy kiss as he walks in the other direction, leaving you to squeal by yourself in peace. 

After spending the entirety of your free time spent sitting outside the life science building looking for a face you barely remember at this point you give up. You’ll just have to bring the backpack to the lost and found and notify your professor that you found a back from your past lecture and brought it there so he could tell the class. You’d also have to look for your own backpack, your mind so focused on the fact that you had someone’s bag that it completely disregarded the fact that you didn’t even have your own. Thankfully you still have your laptop so you’ve been able to complete your home work but all your notes were in that bag. Trudging through the hallway you ignore the noise coming from next-door, praying that by the time you return from this adventure they’ll be quiet, you quickly grab the bag and head out. You’re surprised to see a frustratingly familiar face however and you make eye contact with the guy standing outside of Namjoon’s door. You’d recognize those stupid big eyes and black mask anywhere. It’s the plantnapper. 

“You’re the thief?” He yells in disbelief, pointing to the backpack as if it’s incriminating. Well it is but it shouldn’t be to him. You only blink at him in surprise, still stood in the doorway to your apartment as your brain tries to process what this means. “I should figure as much after the plant incident.” He scoffs, eyes sharpening as he glares at your unresponsive form. He must know the person who owns this bag that has to be it. Or, oh no, what if he’s the guy who owns it.

Taking a moment to observe your self-declared nemesis, you take in the tattoos that poke out from his oversized black t-shirt, the man piercings in his ear, the all black (tattoos included) aesthetic. The only thing that doesn’t scream that he could like drawing skulls in his free time is the dorky bucket hat on his head. Stepping closer, you look in his eyes once again trying to imagine the ones from Jeon Jungkook’s instagram profile picture to them. It’s only when he crosses his arms at your scrutinizing gaze do you notice the wire frame glasses hanging from the collar of his shirt. Oh no, please not him. Anybody but him. 

“You’re Jeon Jungkook?” You ask incredulously not believing that he’s right here in front of you. You thought the guy who drew the skulls and small plants would be a shy emo nerd not an arrogant asshole. 

“So she speaks.” He says, reaching forward to wrench the backpack out of your hands. “Why’d you steal my bag anyways, thief?” He spits the word out and you glare at him, fists clenching at your side. 

“I’m not a thief. I accidentally took it thinking it was mine!” You say indignantly, tired of having to retell this story so many times. You wish you would’ve just thrown it away. You would’ve if you had figured out the plantnapper’s identity sooner. 

“You thought it was yours for two days? Are you stupid?” He asks and you suck on your inner cheek in irritation. 

“No I was just trying to find you to return it personally, but now I wish I’d have just thrown it away or burned it.” 

“Wait a minute…does that mean you’re missing your bag?” His eyes twinkle in amusement and he looks much too pleased with the situation for your liking. You liked it better when he looked angry because at least you knew what was coming. 

“No.” You say, though you can hear the hesitance in your own voice at your blatant lie. 

“So you’re telling me that you don’t have a blue bag covered in pins and a bunch of pink bunny notebooks?” When he notices your eyes widen because you realize he took your bag as well, a smirk takes over his already obnoxious features. “You wanna lie to me again?” He teases, grinning as he once again watches you sigh in defeat. 

“Fine yes it’s mine okay? Can I have it back since you have yours?” 

“Hmm I don’t know, I quite like some of the things you’ve written in the margins of your notebooks. Can you explain to me more about the sock puppet show?” 

“That wasn’t me it was Jimin!” Another lie, you thought your little nephew might like it for when you babysit him, but he doesn’t need to know that. You refuse to give him any more blackmail material. 

“I’m sure.” He says sarcastically with a roll of his eyes. “Do you really think I’m that stupid?” He asks and this time it’s your turn to grin. 

“Do you want an honest answer?” 

“What do you know, thief.” He scoffs and you scoff in return. Who knew someone could be so irritating? 

“You’re the one who stole- and still has- my backpack!” You yell at him, enjoying in the way he pokes his tongue into his cheek in irritation. 

“Because you stole mine first!” He whines, petulantly stomping his foot. You don’t suppress the urge to laugh to which he frowns. “Fine you want the bag? Then go get it.” Angrily he reaches into his pocket only to come up empty before banging his head on the front door rather harshly. The thud carries down the hall. 

“That was pretty loud. Is it really that empty up there?” You reach up to knock your fist against his skull just to be annoying but he swats your hand away. 

“I don’t have a key.” He sighs, before beating on the door so hard that it rattles yours as well. “Seokjin!” He yells and you take a step back from him just in case any of your neighbors poke their head out to see what the commotion is about. You don’t want to be associated with him. “Jin open the fucking door!” He yells again, his voice wavering as embarrassment takes hold. His neck and ears begin to turn red, the blush spreading to his cheeks as he pounds against the door almost desperately. If he wasn’t such a nuisance and your sworn enemy you’d probably find it endearing. 

“You don’t have a key to your own apartment?” You tease, leaning against your own front door as you soak in his misery. It’s about time he do something stupid in front of you. Victory tastes so sweet. 

“Shut up.” He snaps, jiggling the door handle like it’ll magically unlock itself. You’re actually starting to feel bad as you watch him wither inside, fully succumbing to the embarrassment of it all. 

“Hey it’s okay, maybe he’s not home.” You say softly, placing a hand on his arm to stop him from knocking again. His knuckles are red from the harsh pounding and when he turns to you with eyes somewhat watery and a giant pout on his lips your heart cracks a little. You begin to even regret being so mean to him until the door opens and he returns back to normal. 

“Finally!” He yells ignoring Seokjin’s annoyed face as he scurries towards the back of his apartment where you assume his room is. 

“This kid, moving in here without notice and then rudely waking me up from a nap.” Seokjin rolls his eyes, moving to stand aside as Jungkook’s footsteps get louder as he trudges back towards you. 

“Here’s your bag thief. Hope I never see you again!” Throwing your backpack at you he slams the door in your face leaving you to stare at it blankly. Just when you think someone isn’t half bad they have to prove you wrong. Scoffing you turn around and head back into your own apartment, blissfully unaware of the pair of eyes on you watching through the peephole. 

When Jimin arrives home you’re still brewing in agitation from your encounter with your ever so pleasant neighbor- note the sarcasm. “So I’m guessing giving the backpack back didn’t go well?” Jimin asks, flopping beside you on the couch. Kimchi immediately jumps up after him, content to lay on his lap while purring loudly. You’re a little envious that he comes back home to something happy to see him, a loneliness you didn’t know you felt creeping up on you as you now know what it’s like to come home to something. There’s only so much comfort your plants can provide. Maybe you should get a boyfriend- Taehyung pops in your mind and you instantly smile, only to scowl when the buck-toothed loser takes his place- perhaps you should just get a pet instead. 

“Let’s just say I never want to see Jeon Jungkook again.” You huff, crossing your arms as his stupid smirk appears in your head. You should’ve slapped it off him. He’s lucky you’re not a violent person otherwise you would’ve. 

“Would food cheer you up?” Jimin asks, eyeing you with a smile because he already knows the answer. 

“Is it free?” 

“Always.” Jimin laughs, taking his phone out of his pocket- careful not to disturb Kimchi too much- before dialing a number you know too well. Your local pizza restaurant is famous on campus, fancy enough that people don’t feel like they’re just eating grease like dominoes but also cheap enough that it doesn’t feel like they’re breaking the bank on literal pizza. It’s college, if people are gonna waste their money it’s for sure going to be on alcohol. 

“Hi I’d like to place an order.” Jimin says, giggling when he recognizes the voice of whoever is on the receiving end. “I’m glad you answered, I missed your voice. Maybe you could deliver the pizza too so we can spend a little time together. You haven’t taken your break yet have you?” You stare at him quizzically until you realize just what the little snake is doing. You hope to never be on the receiving end of Jimin’s flirtatious advances, especially knowing that he flirts with anybody to get what he wants. “Oh how disappointing I wanted to see you.” He sighs, going so far as to pout even though they can’t see him. “Maybe you can make it up to me somehow?” He asks sickly sweet and you only stare in awe as he flashes you a brilliant smile. The rat just got a free pizza, you know it. Hanging up the phone Jimin waggles his eyebrows at you, cackling evilly like he’s some kind of witch or something. 

“You didn’t think I’d pay for you did you? I don’t even pay for myself.” He snorts- yes snorts- entirely too pleased with himself for your liking. 

“I can’t wait till this catches up to you.” 

“Then stop benefitting from it.” Jimin shrugs and you whine at him in response. 

“But the perks are so nice. Ahh I feel like a bad person but at the same time I’m not the scammer.” 

“I am not a scammer. I’m just taking advantage of my pretty privilege.” Jimin says and you only further your pout. 

“Why don’t I get pretty privilege?” 

“You just don’t have the face for it.” He says bluntly, screeching when you smack his chest. 

“Park Jimin take it back!” You continue your assault on his chest until he grabs your hands in his own, using his strength to hold them away from his body. 

“I just mean you’re not good at flirting! You’re just mean and shit.” He huffs, watching your reaction skeptically to see if you’ll try and lunge for him again. 

“I can flirt. And besides I’m not mean, I’m an angel.” You say, taking your hands away to place them in your lap. You focus instead on Kimchi who is so unbothered by this whole ordeal that she’s fallen asleep. 

“Yeah okay.” Jimin laughs, the kinda half snort-half huff type. “And if you’re not mean why did Seokjin text me about you yelling at someone in the hallway.” 

“It’s not just someone, it was Jeon Jungkook. My rival, my arch-nemesis, my most hated person. He deserved it anyways, he called me a thief! Can you believe it?” You exclaim, irked by just the thought of your previous argument. It’s been so long since someone has surpassed your indifference and gotten so under your skin that just the thought of them makes you want to punch something. You think the last time you felt like this was in eighth grade and it’s as infuriating as you remember. You hate him. 

“I mean you did steal his bag.” Jimin says and you turn so fast he actually jumps. 

“Why does everyone keep saying that? It was an accident!” Jimin falls silent after that, finally realizing that he’s treading on thin ice. He didn’t realize that this Jeon Jungkook was such a sore spot for you, all he wanted was to tease you a little. The two of you continue to sit in silence, the only sound being Kimchi’s soft purrs and the occasional rumble from the old air conditioning system. 

You want to say something, you know Jimin didn’t mean to make you so upset but you’re not goof at explaining your feelings. Or expressing emotions. You should probably try a little harder because glancing at Jimin through the corner of your eye you can see how glossy his eyes have become. “Jiminie I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you.” You murmur, half ashamed and half uncomfortable with being vulnerable. It’s stupid, he’s your best friend and he’s seen you cry before but it never gets any easier. “Please don’t cry because of me. It-it hurts to see you cry.”

Jimin sniffles and you almost start crying on your own, distraught at the fact you made him cry. Despite his snarky remarks you know Jimin is quite sensitive and you’re so stupid for forgetting about that. “That was the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” 

“That makes me sound like a bad person. You know I love you, I just don’t say it a lot.” You chuckle, somewhat in an attempt to lighten the mood. It’s gotten much too depressing for your liking. Hastily wiping his cheeks he smiles brightly at you and your chest doesn’t hurt as much when you realize that he’s okay. 

“I love you too kitkat.” He says, opening his mouth to say something else before the doorbell cuts him off. 

“Pizza!” You cheer, jumping up and heading to the door quickly. The tension in your shoulders dissipating as you distract yourself. They rise up again when you realize just who is on the other side. “No.” You say, frowning as you’re reacquainted with his face.

“Yes.” He grins, the type that could give the cheshire cat a run for his money. “Now that’s $19.50.” 

“The pizza was free.”  

“I saw that but since it’s you…$19.50” He says and you scowl. 

“I’m not paying for a free pizza. Besides you’re overcharging, can you even do math?” 

“I’m charging for every second I have to speak to you.” 

“Shouldn’t I be the one getting paid then since I didn’t chose to come to you, you came to me?” 

“That makes no sense, my job is literally to deliver pizzas.” He says, shaking the box with your pizza like his red vest and the grease smeared across his cheek is not indicative of his job. 

“Yeah and you’re doing a really bad job at it. So if you don’t mind,” Swiping the box out of his hand you hold it close to you before giving him a parting smile. “Goodbye.” Slamming the door in his face as he had done to you earlier, you lock it just before he can grab your handle. 

“What about my tip?” He yells, banging his fist against the door. You only grin, fully indulging in the anger that seeps through his tone. Something about pissing him off gives you so much joy. Does that make you a sadist or something?

“Here’s a tip, stop bothering me!” 

“That’s not even a tip, that’s a statement idiot!” 

“Whatever you Bambi-looking headass!” You yell back, moving away from the door and presenting the pizza to Jimin like it’s a glorious prize. Jungkook is still banging on the door and do spite him further you have alexa play a song on full blast. It’s painful for your own ears but after letting it play for a minute, you turn it off completely only to rejoice in the fact that you can’t hear your nemesis outside the door anymore. 

“I have so much I want to say but I’ll refrain for now.” Jimin says and you don’t like the way he’s looking at you. It’s almost like he knows something.

“Good idea. Now let’s eat, I’m starving.”

Two days later and you’re once again in your nearby market because Kimchi has now decided that her food is no longer good enough to eat. So to avoid your niece starving- as much as you love Jimin you refuse to co-pet-parent with him- you have to return to the store to buy her more food. You make a mental note to get a dog instead of a cat if you do decide to get a pet solely because they’re not picky about what they eat. Plus they’re rather loud with their affection which you appreciate. You can’t say you’re too mad about having to return to this store so soon though because you might get the chance to see Taehyung again. You’ve been hoping that he’d reach out to you at some point but you’re beginning to think he was serious about letting fate have you cross paths again. What if fate screws you over and you never see him again? 

You almost jump in joy when you spot the back of his head- should you be concerned that you already know what the back of it looks like- unable to suppress the small squeak sound that leaves you. Why are you so embarrassing? You give him an awkward smile when he turns around, nerves calmed by the fact that he grins brightly back at you. “So we meet again.” He says and you’re pretty sure your pupils have taken the shape of hearts from how you look at him. 

“Yeah.” You breathe out like you’re in a lovesick trance- yikes your hopeless romanticism is showing. 

“Did you come just to see me?” He teases and you actually choke on your spit because embarrassingly yes, you partially came for him. He only chuckles at your reaction, placing a large palm between your shoulder blades to rub soothing circles while you cough your lung out. You understand now why you don’t experience pretty privilege; how can anyone find such a mess attractive?

“I came to get more cat food.” You croak out, throat sore and scratchy. 

“Didn’t you just buy some a few days ago?” He asks, head cocked to the side entirely too cutely as his brows draw together in confusion. You’re pretty sure you’re swooning and you look away before he can catch you. 

“Yeah but she decided it wasn’t good enough so here I am.” You laugh awkwardly. You wish the conversation flowed easier and you weren’t stuck only talking to him about either you stalking people or cat food. 

The air around you turns stale as silence settles between you and you twitch nervously. The silence is unbearable and you wish to fill it. “Will you help me?” You ask, once again falling into the trap of cat food as a topic. 

“Sure.” He gives you an easy smile, motioning for you to follow him to the specific aisle. Maybe you should just break out of this cycle by asking him out. Surely you’ll think of something to talk about besides cat food or stalking if you’re away from the places you associate them with. 

“Do you want to get coffee or something sometime?” You ask him, your words blurring together into a messy sentence as the words tumble too quickly out of your mouth. It takes him a minute to piece together what you asked and in that minute you regret your decision even more. Surely he’ll say no. 

“I’d love to.” He giggles, his boxy smile so wide his eyes scrunch a little as his cheeks push against them. Your eyes widen in surprise as you’d been preparing yourself for what you thought to be an inevitable ‘no’ and that only makes Taehyung smile wider-if possible. “You’re so cute.” He coos, tapping a finger against the tip of your nose as you continue to stare at him dumbfounded. Maybe you should have a little more faith in yourself if someone like Taehyung said yes to you. 

“Thanks.” You murmur, cursing yourself internally for being so shy. How has this man reduced you to a bashful mess with a single compliment? You’re sure if you looked in the mirror you probably wouldn’t even recognize yourself. Y/n without a witty remark? Unheard of. Maybe this is the change you need though, maybe this you is better?

“if you want to wait around for five minutes my shift ends and then we can go?” Taehung asks and you just nod, your brain trying to process the fact that you’ll be going on a date in five minutes with the hottest guy you’ve ever seen. Looking down at yourself you freeze realizing you’re about to go on a date in sweatpants and one of Jimin’s old hoodies from high school. You look like you just rolled out of bed. 

Five minutes isn’t even enough time to get to your apartment though and you sigh, resigning yourself to looking frumpy. Grabbing whatever cat food is nearest- what kind of food Kimchi would like is the last thing on your mind-  you busy yourself at the register, chatting with a guy named Soobin. He winks at you when Taehyung rounds the corner to get you, his apron gone and revealing his Celine t-shirt. “You ready to go?” He asks, coming up beside you. Nodding in response, he places a hand on the small of your back before gently pushing you forward and you fiddle with the rings on your fingers to distract yourself from the heat crawling up the back of your neck and across your cheeks. 

You instantly recognize the cafe he takes you to and smile to yourself, already anticipating seeing a familiar tuft of icy blonde hair- another one of your hair dye experiences. Taehyung- ever the gentleman- opens the door for you and you give him a soft smile in thanks. When you look back to the counter Yoongi is giving you a quizzical look and you shake your head slightly as a signal not to ask. That doesn’t deter him from scanning you and Taehyung, his eyes lingering on the way Taehyung’s arm wraps around your waist. You don’t remember him doing that. “Yoongi!” Taehyung yells and you turn to him in surprise. He knows Yoongi? Yoongi has always kept a pretty tight circle so you can’t help but be baffled by this newly discovered friendship. You’ve never heard him mention someone named Taehyung before. 

“Ahh hi Taehyung.” Yoongi smiles, this time shaking his head at you slightly. You guess it’s only fair since you told him not to ask as well no matter how much you itch to question him. You’ve always been nosey, it’s something you and Jimin bonded over. “Haven’t seen you in a while.” Yoongi continues, looking to you briefly to see if you register the bone he threw you. Ahh they must be old friends that lost touch. 

“Yeah I haven’t seen you since winter break in Daegu. You always ghosted me when I asked to hang out.” Taehyung pouts. 

“I told you I’ve been busy. I’ve had a lot going on, my roommate is always getting into trouble. Speaking of which, how is he?” Yoongi turns his full attention to you and you give him a pitiful smile as you can see the hurt in his eyes. It’s no secret Yoongi has always had a soft spot for Jimin and their fight must’ve been really hard on him too. You hope he had someone to lean on the way Jimin did you. 

“He’s reached acceptance. I think he’s finally trying to actually get over her. He’s been staying with me this whole time. You can stop by later if you want?” You offer, completely unaware of the way Taehyung’s eyes flicker between you and Yoongi to try and discern your relationship. He’s never heard about you either. Min Yoongi sure has a lot of secrets. 

“I’ll let him come to me. He might think I’m ambushing him or something if I come over.” Yoongi shrugs albeit sadly. Your heart aches at seeing him so dejected and you place your hand over his own. 

“He wants to apologize, he did the first night. He’s just working up the courage.” It’s the only solace you can offer him at the moment but you hope it’s enough to make him feel even a little better. “I don’t think he’ll take much longer, he’s probably getting sick of me.” You laugh, grinning when you see Yoongi crack a tiny smile. 

“Sounds good. Now head to the pick up counter, I punched in your drinks a while ago. It’s not like either of you get anything different anyways.” 

“Thanks Yoon! I’ll buy you lamb skewers next time we hang out.” You tell him, leaving the register with Taehyung trailing you. 

“So how do you two know each other?” Taehyung asks, sipping on his strawberry smoothie. 

“We met when I made the mistake of taking philosophy at nine a.m. a couple semesters ago. We really bonded while suffering together and then he became roommates with my best friend and we formed an unbreakable trio.” You take a rather large sip of your caramel macchiato, needing a drink after speaking probably the longest sentence you ever have to Taehyung. Progress- sad progress because you’ve never had this problem before but progress nonetheless. “How do you know Yoongi?” 

“We grew up together in Daegu. Next door neighbors and everything.” Taehyung smiles like he’s reminiscing in things you don’t know about but one day you hope to hear more if for nothing but to hear his voice- although some embarrassing childhood memories to blackmail Yoongi with would be nice.

“Yoongi’s emo phase must’ve been an experience.” You snort only to freeze when you realize you just made probably the most unattractive noise in existence. You’re pretty sure you hear Yoongi cackle at your embarrassment. 

“He actually didn’t have one.” Taehyung whispers almost like it’s a secret and you can’t help the gasp that leads your lips. 

“What?” You exclaim, placing a hand over your mouth. Your whole friendship has been a lie! “But he’s so angsty!” 

“That’s because he bottles up his feelings.” Taehyung says and you remember another reason you and Yoongi got so close. You’re practically the same person when it comes to feelings and expressing them- in fact it’s one of the reasons you can read each other so well. “I just wish he’d reveal his soft side more often.” 

“That’s why he’s my favorite tsundere.” You giggle, winking at Yoongi when you catch him glaring at you from behind the counter. You could tell he was listening in on you and Taehyung’s conversation- he was wiping the same spot on the pickup counter for two minutes-  and you know he hates nothing more than being compared to a tsundere. Though you theorize it’s only because it’ll out him as a weeb. Not that his one piece set displayed in the living room of the apartment gives it away or anything. ‘I hate you’ he mouths when you look in his direction again and you only laugh, giving him a finger heart to placate him before turning back to your date. 

Taehyung is just smiling at you, his gaze flicking to the window to try and hide the fact he was admiring you. It was nice to see that he was the one getting bashful for once as you watch roses cluster along his cheeks. He really is so cute. “You’re cute.” You tell him, happy at the way his eyes widen at your sudden boldness. It’s only brief however as he gives you a flirty smirk in return. 

“Just cute?” He asks, leaning forward to look you dead in the eyes, enjoying the way you struggle to maintain eye contact. 

“Yes.” You whisper with a final flicker of confidence, immediately regretting your poor attempt to tease him as he leans in further, his face a few inches from your own. 

“Let’s change that, yeah?” Your breath hitches at him being so close, close enough that you find yourself looking at the small mole under his eye and following it down to the mole on his nose before finally landing on the one on his lower lip. Your eyes linger on his lips, which look much to kissable for you to turn your attention away from. They’re soft and pink, moistened by his tongue that slips out to brush across his bottom lip, dragging your attention back up to his eyes that flicker from your gaze to your own lips. You pinch your bottom one between your teeth as the tension brews between you two. Taehyung reaches a hand out to fall gently on your cheek, releasing your bottom lip from its hold with his thumb. Once it’s free he wastes no time to press his lips to your own and you sigh into him. You could get used to this. 

Nothing can ruin your mood, not even a certain bambi, as you skip up the two flights of stairs to your apartment building. With slightly mussed hair and kiss swollen lips, you’re entirely too giddy for your own good. You’re in the midst of digging around in your bag for your keys when you feel something wet against your leg. Instantly you scream, jumping away from whatever just touched you and relaxing only when you notice it’s a little black Puggle. “Oh hello.” You giggle, bending down to pet the puppy. It wriggles in excitement, jumping out of your outstretched arms almost like a fish out of water. Finally managing to wrangle it into your lap you check for a collar only to find none. Shrugging, you take the puppy into your apartment, resolving to notify the office about the lost dog so they can alert the other residents and hopefully its owner. In the meanwhile though, you have a puppy to play with! An annoyed meow sounds from the couch and you cringe when Kimchi glares at you. 

“Sorry Kim, this is only temporary.” You try and console her, attention diverted when the puppy barks at you. “Hi sweetheart.” You coo, rubbing her belly as she happily melts into you. “Your owner should really invest in a collar.” You sigh, hoping that whoever they are will realize they’re missing a pet soon. As cute as you think this little puppy is you’re not equipped to care for it. 

You must play with the dog for twenty minutes before it knocks out, snoring lightly on your furry rug. Kimchi watches curiously from the couch and you can’t tell whether she wants to befriend or attack it. Your door frame rattles and you sigh, leaning your head against the couch cushion as your neighbor wakes up the sleeping puppy, “Lucy!” You hear someone yell, a slew of curses following as they run around the hall. Their footsteps are heavy enough that it startles the puppy, causing it to run to the door and bark incessantly. 

“It’s okay sweetheart.” You try and soothe, pausing as the footsteps halt suddenly followed by a frantic pounding on your door. Kimchi- fully alarmed- runs into your bedroom for cover as you stare at your shaking front door, the puppy in your arms. After taking a deep breath you calm your nerves, pulling the door open only to get punched in the face. “What the hell?” You yell, almost dropping the dog as you raise a hand to your now bruised nose. 

“I’m so sorry!” A voice, you now realize is Namjoon’s, says frantically. “I was just about to knock on the door again and I was already in motion. I wasn’t aiming for your face I swear!” 

You close your eyes and inhale- for both a piece of sanity because this is the most Namjoon thing you’ve ever witnessed and also because your nose hurts so bad you could cry- and slowly open your eyes to look at the assailer. “Hi Joonie.” Is the only thing you can say. Your day only gets worse as an annoyingly familiar figure rounds the corner. How can such a beautiful day turn into a nightmare? If you didn’t know any better you’d think you were the oc for someone’s story. 

“Why do you have my dog?” He yells in an odd mixture of confusion and irritation. 

“This is your dog?” You ask, ignoring the way your nose is throbbing. 

“If it wasn’t, would I refer to it as my dog?” Jungkook asks, his tone nothing short of condescending as he knocks against your forehead, knuckles barely brushing against the bridge of your nose but causing you to wince all the same. Jungkook pauses for a second, his hand hovering above your face as an expression you could almost discern as concern crosses his features. It’s gone in a moment, almost like a blip, before being replaced with smugness. “Did you run into a door or something? This is what you get for being a thief.” He snickers, moving to take the puppy out of your hand before you shield it away from him with your body. 

“Namjoon punched me in the face. Also your dog ran away and came to me, I didn’t steal it. And I’m not a thief, I’ve told you a thousand times it was an accident!” 

“He what?” Jungkook yells, spinning on his heels to face Namjoon in anger. His hands clench at his sides causing the veins running down his forearms to pop, his tongue pushing against the inside of his cheek. He’s glaring at the taller boy, his body almost teeming with rage. Such a shame someone so pretty has such an awful personality. 

“He ran away. You should try being a better owner so he doesn’t flee at first chance. Also have you ever heard of a collar? It’s a great way to let other people identify your dog.” You scold, scratching the dog’s head as you do so. 

“That’s not-whatever. Besides she’s a girl; her name is Lucy. And I did get her a collar it’s just a little too big right now but she’s not even supposed to really go outside before she gets all her shots.” Jungkook says, this time reaching forward too quick for you to avoid, snatching Lucy out of your hands before you can even think to counter his attack. 

“My baby!” You cry, strangely attached to the little creature even though you’ve barely spent half an hour with her. 

“I’m right here.” Jungkook winks, cackling as you proceed to gag. 

“Tell me, does your neck ever hurt from your head being shoved so far up your own ass?” He cackles again and you’re sure if you were a cartoon you’d have smoke coming out of your ears. You’ll probably have to go to the doctor after this with the way he’s raising your blood pressure. You’ve never met someone so infuriating. 

“Does your ass ever hurt from the stick that’s up it?” Jungkook retorts and you scowl.

“At least my pet didn’t run away from me.” 

“She didn’t! I wasn’t even home when Namjoon lost her.”

“You’re saying you lost her but all I’m hearing is she ran away.” 

“Whatever thief. What do you know?” He scoffs and you scoff in return. 

“If that’s what helps you sleep at night, Bambi.”

“I’m just gonna go.” Namjoon says clearly uncomfortable with the tension surrounding you and Jungkook. You almost feel a little bad before you remember he literally punched you in the face. “I can’t believe you made Namjoon so uncomfortable he had to leave.” 

“Me? You’re the one who started it.” Jungkook scoffs. 

“I did not! You accused me of stealing your dog!” 

“Because you’re a thief! How many times do I have to tell you!” 

“Whatever Bambi, what do you know?” You huff, crossing your arms over your chest. 

“Call me bambi one more time.” He growls and you smirk. 

“But I think bambi really suits you. You have bambi eyes and everything.” You grin at the way he grits his teeth, taking a step forward to lessen the gap that stands between the two of you. He’s probably less than a foot away at this point and you notice he has a mole below his bottom lip. 

“Shut up.” He says, his usually light voice taking on a deep and gravelly tone. Your mind buffers for a moment at the sound and you momentarily forget where you are. It’s like he hypnotized your or something. 

“Make me.” You press, your breath hitching as you watch something flicker in his eyes too fast for you to catch. Lucy barking breaks the two of you out of your standoff and you both turn to watch as she proceeds to pee all over Jungkook’s arm. You can’t help but giggle as he grimaces in disgust. “Serves you right.” You sing, reaching over to give Lucy a scratch on the head. 

“Whatever. At least I don’t do an ugly middle part every day.” He scoffs and you shrug. 

“At least I don’t smell like dog piss.” With the final word secured you close the door, only to reopen it for a second. “Don’t forget to clean the carpet!” 

When Jimin returns with a guilty smile and a box of taco bell you immediately grow suspicious, though you can already guess what he’s about to say. Jimin doesn’t have any hookups at taco bell so he even paid for once which means he must be moving out but doesn’t want to you to be sad. It’s a little too late for that as you immediately deflate, the loneliness you didn’t know you felt before Jimin moved in returning. “You and Yoongi made up?” You ask though it’s really just confirmation. 

“Yeah we did. I told him I’d come back later today.” Jimin’s voice drips in misplaced guilt, for he really has no reason to feel bad for moving back home. You knew this would only be temporary. 

“I’m so happy for you!” You say, making sure to raise your voice to convey a happier tone. You really are glad they worked it out but you’ll miss him. Looking around your apartment the plants seem a little less homey than normal. Maybe you should invest in a pet for real. Lucy from next door pops into your head and you smile. “I made a new friend next door so I won’t be lonely without you.” 

Jimin gasps over-dramatically, placing a hand over his heart like you just stabbed him. “You’ve replaced me with Jeon Jungkook??” He asks and your eyes widen at the insinuation. Like you’d replace Jimin with anyone, especially Jeon Jungkook. 

“Eww gross, like I’d even think of befriending him.’ You scoff. 

“You’re like a little kid thinking their crush has cooties.” Jimin snickers and you glare at him. 

“He’ll infect me with his stupidity! He’s a clown Jimin, he literally got peed on by his own dog earlier!” You exclaim and Jimin only laughs. 

He hums for a minute before turning to you with a sly smirk. “You talk about him a lot you know? Got love on the brain?” Jimin teases, cackling at his own joke only to choke when you angrily shove a soft taco into his mouth. You grin at him wickedly when he turns to you, ignoring the way he returns his own glare. 

“More like hate on the brain.” You say, taking a bite of your own taco before turning on the tv. 

“There’s a fine line between love and hate you know? Also if I go into the bathroom and find a grease stain on my shirt I’m going to kill you.” Jimin goes so far as to flick your head with his warning, probably a small punishment for stuffing his face. In your defense it was the only way to get him to stop talking nonsense. 

“You can’t even strangle me with those baby hands.” You quip, giggling when Jimin flips you off. 

“I can’t believe I’ve lived with you for this long without going insane.” He huffs, feeding Kimchi-who has been beckoned by the smell of food- a piece of cheese. She grinds her teeth happily after swallowing it whole, sticking her head into the wrapper to try and find more morsels. 

“That’s because you loveee me.” You sing, sending Jimin a heart and a flying kiss. As much as he detests it, he’s a sucker for large displays of affection. His cheeks turn a soft cherry pink as he shoves your shoulder a little too hard, making you topple over from your spot on the floor. The taco comes flying out of your hand, the remnants scattering as Jimin struggles to capture Kimchi before she can feast on the fallen taco. You sigh at the inevitable stain you’ll have to clean from all the grease but turning to the chaos that’s behind you- Kimchi is half wrapped around Jimin’s neck like a boa constrictor as he holds her to him to prevent her escape- you can’t help but miss it already. 

Returning from your trip to Jimin and Yoongi’s apartment-somehow he collected more stuff than he brought with him in his short stay at your apartment and needed help carrying everything back- you run into Taehyung. “Tae?” You ask and he gives you the same expression. 

“Y/n? You live here?” He asks equally as surprised and confused to see you. It’s a similar feeling to when you see a teacher out in public. 

“Yeah. Do you?” 

“No I was just visiting some friends of mine.” He says, shoving his hands into his pockets and rocking on his heels as the two of you stare at each other. “Hey did you know your nose is turning purple?” 

“Huh?” You ask until you piece together that you must be beginning to bruise. Thank you Kim Namjoon. “Oh yeah I just got hit in the face.” You laugh, consciously covering your nose with your hand. 

“You should ice it. Have you done that already?” Taehyung steps forward, placing a hand on your wrist to gently pry your hand away from the offending object (ie. your nose). 

“No.” You sigh because really that should’ve been the first thing you did but instead you wasted time arguing with Jeon Jungkook. Your nose is probably going to be super swollen and purple by tomorrow. 

“Let’s get some ice for it, yeah? You should really take better care of yourself.” He laughs, taking your hand and leading you towards the elevators. You don’t know if a bruised nose needs two people’s attention but it’ll be nice to come home to something other than silence. “What floor?” 

“Two, but we can just take the stairs.” You tell him, changing his direction to the stairwell on the opposite side of the building. He follows you quietly to your apartment, looking around the walls like he’s trying to find something specific. 

“I’ve never come this way before. My friends always take the elevator.” He says, pausing beside you when you reach your door. 

“Two flights of stairs isn’t too bad for me. Plus elevators make me nervous, there’s something about plummeting to your death in a tiny box that freaks me out.” You shrug, letting him inside before closing the door behind you. 

“It’s like a whole garden in here!” Taehyung exclaims, spinning in a circle to take in the various potted and hanging plants that lie around your living room. You twist your rings as you watch him take it all in, worried he might find your plant obsession excessive or weird. You just really like the look of it and it’s nice to take care of something. 

“Yeah, I might’ve got a little too carried away at the plant nursery.” You laugh, watching as Taehyung brushes his fingers along random leaves. 

“I tried to take care of a plant once and I couldn’t even get it to sprout.” When he turns to you his eyes are filled with awe and you ease up a little bit. 

“It takes a lot of work but it’s pretty calming for me. It’s nice to have something that relies on you to take care of it.” 

“I get the feeling. That’s why I have Tannie. You wanna see him?” Taehyung asks excitedly, already fishing his phone out of his pocket. Nodding, you take the phone from him and observe the tiny dog practicing tricks in the video. It’s a mainly black Pomeranian, brown tufts of fur on its belly and legs with two angry brown eye brows that make you laugh. 

“He takes after you with the strong brows.” You say making Taehyung laugh. 

“You know what they say, dogs always look like their owners.” Your mind drifts to the black Puggle next door and it’s fake wire-framed glasses wearing owner. You guess they both have a rather cute boopable nose. “Now about your nose…” Taehyung says, drawing you out of your thoughts. 

“Right!” Taking ice out of the freezer you place it into a tiny ziplock while Taehyung grabs the kitchen towel hanging off the oven handle to wrap it with. 

“So you need to do twenty minutes on and twenty off. I could keep you company if you want?” You nod your head quickly at his offer, gesturing for him to make himself comfortable. 

“Do you want anything to drink or eat? I have popcorn and other snacks.” 

“How about we eat popcorn and watch a movie?” He suggests. 

“Great idea.” You’re about to grab the box of popcorn from one of the top shelves of the pantry when Taehyung’s hand on your shoulder stops you. 

“Let me do it. Don’t want you to hurt yourself any further.” He teases, ushering you out of your own kitchen. Walking back to the couch you watch him as he fumbles around your kitchen to find the bowls, giggling as he opens the same cupboard three times. You’re about to tell him its location when he finally finds it, cheering as if he’s won some kind of prize. With the popcorn made and your fridge raided for drinks he rejoins you at the couch while you pull up netflix. 

“What do you want to watch?” 

“How about a nature documentary?” He suggests and you just smile and nod despite the fact that you’re going to be fighting the urge to fall asleep for the next two hours. Oh what you’ll do for a pretty boy. 

After spending one day alone in your apartment after classes you decide you no longer enjoy having nothing to come home to. You’re not quite sure how you used to do this just fine because now the silence is almost unbearable. You could go over to Jimin and Yoongi’s apartment but all your stuff is here and you can’t exactly just invite yourself over. Well judging by how many times Jimin has done that to you you probably could but it just feels weird. You also don’t think you can sit through another nature documentary with Taehyung despite how much you like him. You could barely stay awake last time, the twenty minute alarms the only thing keeping you from drifting off. Plus you had to watch not only animals kill and eat each other- while a necessary part of the circle of life, you don’t particularly enjoy watching life leave something. And most disturbingly, there was a whole segment on spiders and you hate spiders. Which leaves you with only one option: Lucy. 

On your way home from your last lecture you go to the nearest pet store, picking out a little pink collar with cherries decorating it and a pink leash. Maybe you’ve gone a little overboard with the pink aesthetic- you may have been eyeing a pink onesie because you’ve always wanted an animal that lets you dress it- but the idea of e-boy Jungkook walking around his pink accessorized puppy makes you laugh. You bet the collar he bought her has spikes or skulls. With the presents in hand, you stop at Jungkook’s door knocking in a small tune. 

The door opens and instead of Jungkook you’re met with Seokjin. “Oh hi, is Jungkook home?” You ask hesitantly. “I uhh brought stuff for Lucy.” You bring the bag in front of you to show him like it’ll validate why you’re here. You can’t have people thinking you came just for him. 

“He just went out to meet the postmate guy but he’ll be back in a few minutes if you want to wait for him inside?” Seokjin steps aside to let you enter, ushering you onto the couch before getting you water. 

“I heard Jimin and Yoongi finally made up.” Seokjin comments and you nod somewhat sadly. 

“Yeah he moved out yesterday.” 

“Being alone again must be a little lonely huh? Is that why you’re here? Not that I don’t mind you stopping by but it’s not like we’re very close or anything.” 

“I missed Lucy.” You tell him. “But yeah it has been a little lonely. If you don’t mind me asking how do you know Yoongi?” 

“We used to TA a biology class together. And I met Jimin when I was helping them move in but I don’t see him very often. He really only asks me to bring him food when he’s too lazy to cook.” Seokjin says. 

“Yeah he’ll do about anything for free food.” You laugh and Seokjin smiles. 

“It’s nice to know that you’re actually pretty sweet. I was worried you were just a hothead after listening to Jungkook whine about you incessantly.” Seokjin laughs and you look at him curiously. 

“Jungkook talks about me?” 

“All the time. Anyways, I’m always looking for new friends so I can learn more secrets so feel free to stop by whenever. I’m sure Kookie wouldn’t mind seeing you around more often.” He winks and you’re entirely too confused to fake a gag. 

“But he hates me?” 

“That’s his charm. He has that whole ‘I want to fight you but also kiss you’ vibe. Or so I’ve heard anyways. I just get embarrassing child vibes from him personally but I’ve also seen him in a Pikachu onesie singing the pokemon theme song too many times at 2 a.m. to see him as any less.” Before you have time to even process what Seokjin has just told you the door opens and you immediately stand up startled, the bag of goodies for Lucy falling off your lap and spilling onto the floor. 

Jungkook pauses in the door way, his eyes the widest you’ve seen so far. The Wendy’s bag crunches as he clutches it tighter and the two of you stare at each other like you’re waiting for the other to make the first move. “I brought stuff for Lucy. To make sure she’s getting properly cared for.” You hurry feeling like you need an excuse to come over. Seokjin laughs under his breath from beside you. 

“First a thief then a trespasser. Am I going to have to report you?” Jungkook asks and you scowl, crossing your arms across your chest. Just who does he think he is? 

“Seokjin let me in.” You say stepping aside to reveal Jin who was watching the whole encounter unfold with a grin. His eyes glint with mischief when you turn to him and suddenly you’re afraid of his power. How many secrets does he know? Will he figure out yours? 

“I thought we agreed not to invite random people in?” Jungkook sighs, almost like he’s scolding Seokjin. You frown. You’re supposed to be enemies, does that not mean anything to him? 

“She’s not random. She’s my new best friend!” Seokjin yells directly into your ear making you wince before throwing an arm around your shoulder. You’re too busy looking at Seokjin confusedly to notice the way someone else’s eyes linger a little too long on the arm wrapped around you. 

“Whatever. Just don’t talk to me.” Jungkook grumbles stalking towards his room when you speak up. 

“But you’re the one talking to me?” You ask making him stop in his tracks and turn around to face you again. That’s when you notice the frosty in his hand that’s half melted and now running down the side of the cup and down his hand. “Did you postmate a frosty?” You ask, genuinely concerned with why he chose that when it’d be undoubtably half melted in the forty minutes it takes delivery. 

“Maybe.” He says skeptically and you give him your best ‘are you stupid?’ expression because you have eyes and it’s literally in his hand. 

“Did you not realize it would be melted by the time you got it?” You tease, a smirk pulling at your lips when he falters in coming up with a witty remark. 

“Shut up.” He groans, turning back around and opening his bedroom door. A flash of black rushes past him and straight towards you and you can only cheer in glee when Jungkook sighs in exasperation. “Betrayed by my own dog.” He whines to himself as he leans against the door frame to watch you play with Lucy. 

“Hi baby!” You coo, sitting down on the floor to hold her as she gives you as many kisses as possible. Giggling you fall back so you’re lying down, holding her up above you so it looks like she’s flying. Her little paws move rapidly as she attempts to get back to you, her tongue hanging out of her mouth as she whines. “Sorry, sorry.” You chuckle, placing her back down on your stomach. Jumping off you, the bag catches her attention and she busy’s herself by climbing inside of it. Her head pops up with the bag still attached and you can’t help but laugh as she raises up on her hind legs and uses her paws to try and take it off herself. Snapping a quick picture, your airdrop it to Jungkook and Seokjin before taking it off her head. 

“You wanna see the stuff I got you?” You ask, not sure what type of answer you were anticipating in response. You take her snort as a yes and show her the collar first. “You’re gonna look so cute in this. Plus I made sure it’s the right size.” You look pointedly at Jungkook who has moved from his position by the door to the kitchen counter where he snacks on his fries and commits the crime that is dipping them in his frosty. He looks away when he catches your gaze, face flushed a soft pink as he returns his attention to his phone. Bummed by his lack of response you focus on putting the tiny collar around her neck. The little cherry charm jingles as she shakes her head for a moment to adjust before she licks your hand in what you assume to be thanks. 

“Jin look! Isn’t she so cute?” You hold her up to your face while showing off the new collar to Jin who claps in delight. 

“I live for the pink aesthetic. She’s gonna be a doggy icon.” He cheers making you laugh. 

“Only the best for my little Lucy. What do you think bambi?” You ask, turning to Jungkook who makes an OJO face, his phone pointed in your direction. You wonder what he was doing but brush it off to just him being weird. He’s probably looking for more pokemon onesies or something.

“Not too bad thief, not bad at all.” 

When you return home to your apartment after visiting your neighbors turned new friends- excluding Jungkook who is teetering on the upgrade to frenemy because he actually wasn’t entirely awful- you feel light and airy. You’re almost as giddy as you were the day you came back from your date with Taehyung. Speaking of Taehyung you should probably text him or something, you haven’t really texted today. Though you’re feeling too lazy to text out an entirely conversations worth of words so you settle for calling him instead. 

“Hey Y/n.” He says, surprising you for picking up on the first ring. 

“Hey Tae. How was your day?”

“It was really good! I spent the whole day taking pictures of plants and stuff for my assignment. Your apartment really inspired me to capture the less sentient lives that intersect our own.” He says, voice so cheery you can practically see the smile you know he dawns. 

“That’s really cool, you’ll have to send them my way after you’re done with them.” You say, glad that you could be of some help. He did ask you to be his muse after all. 

“How’s your nose?” He asks and you pause when you realize you completely forgot about the bruise on your nose. In fact when you got ready this morning you didn’t even notice. Standing up from the couch you look at your reflection in the bathroom mirror surprised to see it’s only a small purple mark. 

“There’s only a small bruise. I actually forgot I had it so I guess it’’s pretty good.” You laugh, opting to sit on the bathroom counter instead. 

“That’s good, I was worried about it. Hey I was going to visit my friend’s dance recital tomorrow if you want to come? He’s been telling me it’s really good.” 

“Sure thing. What time should I be ready by?” You ask mind already alternating between different possible outfits. You’ll need to look extra good while standing next to Taehyung while also looking casual enough that it’s not too much for a campus recital. You haven’t been to one since your ex’s last showcase a year ago. 

“How about seven? You can help me look for a nice bouquet to give him afterwards. Since you’re a plant expert and everything.” 

“I don’t know if I’d call myself an expert but sure. I’ll meet you outside my apartment?” You start to grow nervous as you realize you’ll need to come up with conversation starters so the conversation doesn’t lull. You wish you were better at talking to him. 

“See you then. Goodnight Y/n.” 

“Goodnight Tae.” Hanging up, you lean your head against the mirror and close your eyes, focusing on trying to lower your heart rate. You hope the more you spend time with Taehyung the easier it gets. 

You’re panicking. Mostly because it’s 6:30 pm and you’re still not dressed. You hate your entire closet, nothing is good enough to wear. Your clothes are strewn across your bedroom and you’re pretty sure you could cry. You’ve at least done your hair and makeup when you were still happy with your previous outfit but after looking at it one too many times you picked it apart. A knock on your door startles you and you pray to God that it’s not Taehyung who’s arrived early. You sigh in relief at the sight of Jungkook, your nerves easing as you focus on the bright pink leash he’s holding and the squirming puppy at your feet. 

“Hey thief we’re going to get something to eat on a walk and after you nearly burned down the kitchen this morning I thought I’d invite you. I don’t feel like smelling burnt eggs through the vent for the rest of the day.” He says nonchalantly like he can’t see your frazzled state. 

“Sorry bambi but I can’t. I have a date to get ready for and I can’t figure out what to wear.” You sigh, leaning down to give Lucy a few scratches after she barks at you for attention. 

“A date?” Jungkook asks, his voice cracking a little in surprise. He clears his throat as you snicker.

“Yeah. Hey do you think he’d hate me if I just showed up in this oversized tee like a VSCO girl because I think If I look at my closet one more time I’ll actually cry.” You half joke half genuinely ask because you’re so frustrated. 

“I mean nothing you wear can make you less ugly.” He offers and you glare at him. 

“Thanks. That’s really just what I needed. I don’t know why I even bothered to ask.”  You deadpan, moving to close the door on him when he shoves his foot between it and the frame to stop it. 

“I mean- you know that mini skirt you have? Tuck your shirt into that and wear some docs or something and you’ll look uhh reasonable. I uhh saw a girl wearing something similar earlier and it was cute.” He says, his words slurring a little in his panic to redeem himself and you crack the door open a little to look at him. 

“Thanks bambi, I’ll try it. I dig the pink leash by the way, really makes you look badass.” You giggle, closing the door to drown out his shout of protest. 

Turns out bambi does have somewhat of a fashion sense because after trying on his suggested outfit you don’t hate it which is enough for you at this point. Checking the time you realize you only have a few minutes left to make any finishing touches before you need to meet Taehyung downstairs. Checking your eyeliner wings one last time and spraying on perfume you hurry down the stairs and outside, tapping your foot anxiously as you wait for Taehyung. You hope you look okay. 

“You look great.” Taehyung’s deep voice says from behind you, his arms encircling your waist as you turn around to face him. You look away bashfully once again reminded what a shy, nervous mess he turns you into. 

“You do too.” You’re not just saying that to be polite, Taehyung truly does look good. Though when does he not? There’s something so effortlessly beautiful about him that you’re envious of. You wish someone would see you like that. 

“All set to go?” Taehyung asks before linking your arms when you say yes. You wind up back at the familiar market where you and Jungkook first met. You laugh a little to yourself when you notice the row of aloe vera plants lined up on the top shelf. To your right is the flower section for those last minute bouquets and you turn your focus to them and Taehyung instead. 

“I like this one.” You pick up a bouquet of sunflowers and show them to him. The flowers are a little on the smaller side since it’s just the beginning of their season but they’re still happy and bright. “I think it just looks really joyful. Plus everyone buys roses.” 

Taehyung laughs at that, putting down the bouquet of roses he had in his hand. You squeeze your eyes closed when you realize you’ve accidentally made fun of his flower choice. 

“He’ll like it. He’s always calling himself the sun anyways.” Taehyung shrugs, heading to the register with you tailing behind. You’ve only known one person who called themselves the sun but surely it’s not him. There’s seven billion people in the world, surely it can’t be that small. 

Disregarding the hunch of who the flowers you picked out are for, you trot behind Taehyung and lace your hand with his own. He gives you a bright smile in return and a little squeeze, probably excited that he’s not the one initiating PDA for once. 

After paying he leads the way towards the campus event center which isn’t much farther of a walk. The closer you get the more you remember and it’s not that you and your ex didn’t end on a good note it’s more so just that you didn’t anticipate seeing him, much less going to his recital and picking out flowers for him. But you’re probably just jumping to conclusions. 

Getting settled into your seats, front and center, you relax a little. Taehyung’s hand is still in your own and to try and settle your nerves you focus on him- which you probably should be doing anyways since this is a date but your mind has never been good at sticking to one topic. “So how’d you get such great seats?” You ask before pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thanks for bringing me by the way.” 

“Of course. Oh, my friend is captain of the dance team and is a senior so he gets the best spots in the house. I only have to buy him food for the rest of the week as payment. I didn’t feel like waiting in line and getting a crappy spot.” 

“Understandable. But if you’re buying food anyways feel free to send some my way.” You wink and Taehyung sighs. 

“Once again I’m getting used for free stuff.” He cries dramatically and you giggle. “But since you’re my muse I guess it’s okay.” He says suddenly serious, taking your surprise to press a kiss to your lips. 

“Taehyung!” You scold, lightly slapping his chest. "You can’t just catch me off guard like that.” 

“Sure I can. You’re cute when you get embarrassed.” That only causes your embarrassment to heighten and he grins, placing another kiss against your lips. 

“You suck.” You pout despite not really meaning it. 

The lights dim and you both quiet down, turning away from each other to look up at the stage. It’s a lyrical piece first to a song you’ve never heard before but it’s pretty. As the lone harp melody plays a figure emerges from the darkness into the center spotlight only to be joined by several other people as the beat hits. Their movements are fluid like water, their shadows casted elegantly against the back wall of the stage. When the performance ends you can’t help but applaud- though you really are supposed to wait until the end to avoid disrupting performances. “That was so cool!” You whisper to Taehyung who smiles brightly at you. 

“My friend choreographed it!” He whispers back, pride for his friend’s achievement seeping in his words. It’s cute. You both fall silent again as the other pieces are performed only resuming conversation once the show is in intermission.

“Your friend is really talented.” You tell Taehyung, unable to get the performance out of your head. It’s a shame it was the very first one as it’s outshined the rest for you. 

“You’ll have to tell him when we see him later. I heard they’re selling snacks out front, do you want any?” He asks. 

“I can get them if you want? Since you got the tickets and everything.” 

“Sure, I’l just wait for you here. If they have any sweets can you get me some?” He asks. 

“Sure thing. Be right back.” You smile, about to get up when he presses a chaste kiss to your cheek. 

“Hurry back.” He winks and if it were anyone else you’d roll your eyes. 

You huff in annoyance at the rather long line, texting Taehyung that it might be awhile before opening up a piano game on your phone. “I didn’t know you were coming.” Yoongi’s voice startles you and you jump back. 

“Why do you not make noise when you move!” You ask. “This really supports the theory that you’re a vampire.” 

“If you compare me to Edward Cullen one more time I will kill you.” You quiet down at that, the image of Yoongi’s Katana hanging above his bed- another symbol of his weebiness- surfaces in your mind. You’d rather not get close and personal with it. 

“Noted. Anyways what’re you doing here?” 

“I get extra credit on one of my music assignments if I come. I don’t really see the point but hey that just means I can put in less effort later since I have a safeguard for my grade.” 

“It’s extra credit Yoongi not a free pass.” You snort, sighing when the line still hasn’t moved. 

“Why’re you here?” 

“I’m on a date.” You tell him before realizing your mistake. “Don’t tell Jimin, it’s not that serious yet and I-“ 

“Too late.” Yoongi says, pointing to Jimin coming your way. “Though Taehyung is not who I expected it to be with.” 

“How did you know it’s Taehyung?” You ask. 

“Know what’s Taehyung?” Jimin asks and you give Yoongi a pleading look. 

“Her date.” Yoongi says and you flip him off.

“You’re on a date and you didn’t tell me?” Jimin asks and when you turn to look at him you can’t tell whether he’s more annoyed or hurt. Either way you feel awful but Jimin has a tendency to get too attached to your boyfriends and when you and Hoseok broke up he was crushed. 

“We’ve only hung out a couple of times, it’s not that serious.” You try and console him but that only makes him even more upset. His nostrils flare and everything!

“A couple times! What happened to no secrets?” Jimin scolds and you feel even worse. 

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to get too attached if it doesn’t work out.” Like last time doesn’t need to be said for him to understand where you’re coming from and he sighs before running his hand through his hair. 

“Last time was on me but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to know every aspect of your life.” 

“You know I can see why you and Jin get along so well. Do you share secrets?” You ask Jimin and when he falls silent Yoongi decides to re-enter the conversation. 

“Wait do you?” Yoongi asks. “If you told anyone about my One Piece set I’m going to kill you.” 

“Jimin I’d be careful, he threatened me with the Katana five minutes ago.” You warn and Jimin visibly pales. 

“I’ve only been talking to him about our ship. We just want our favorite emotionally stunted tsunderes to get together.” Jimin says causing you and Yoongi to turn to each other. 

“It’s about you.” You both say at the same time only to look offended at each other’s assumption. You’re both so offended that you don’t even realize you’ve made it to the front of the line until the volunteer interrupts your bickering. 

“What can I get you?” Scanning the table you see peanut butter m&m’s- only the best kind. 

“Uhh one bag of regular m&m’s and one peanut butter please.” You say because you’ve never asked if Taehyung has a peanut allergy. That’s probably an important thing to know. 

“One pack of oreos.” Yoongi says behind you followed by Jimin yelling for sour patch kids. 

“That’ll be $10.50” She tells you and sighing- seeing as you’ve been roped into paying for those leaches you call best friends- you hand over the cash. 

“You’re welcome.” You sneer while they smile sweetly at you. 

“You’re the best Y/n! Oh and don’t think you’ve gotten out of me meeting Taehyung. Bring him to the apartment Friday night for game night!” 

“Do I have to?” 

“You bring him to us or we come to you, your choice.” Jimin shrugs. 

“Fine.” You sigh once again bested by the tiny man with the tiny hands. 

When you get back to Taehyung intermission is practically over meaning you only have enough time to get settled in and give him his snack before the lights once again dim and the show starts. You almost forget about the fact that your ex is probably who you got flowers for until he appears in the final set as the lead of a hip hop dance. His eyes widen for a split second when he sees you in his search for Taehyung but he hides it like the professional he is and carries on with his best performance yet. Hoseok is just one of those people meant to dance. You loved his passion while you were dating and admire it still even after not really talking to him for a year. 

Taehyung didn’t notice the surprise on Hoseok’s face- probably because he wasn’t looking for it- and happily drags you backstage to find him. You’re a little surprised you can just walk back here with no one to stop you but you guess they’re all working on things to fix for tomorrow’s show and are too busy to worry about the two of you. 

You find Hoseok in the middle of his dance team crowded around him, his face all smiles as he redoes his favorite move for them. You can’t help but smile fondly at the scene, it reminds you so much of when you and Hoseok first met. It was your first and only hip hop class and he was the instructor. You thought he took extra interest in helping you because you were so terrible and he wanted you to exceed which was true but he also thought you were the cutest mess he’d ever seen. “Hobi!” Taehyung yells, gathering his older friend’s attention as Hoseok leaves the group of dancers to greet you. 

“Hey Tae.” He smiles, giving him that half-hug half-slap on the back that guys do. 

“We got you flowers! Y/n picked them out.” Taehyung smiles, placing his hand on the small of your back to push you more into the conversation. You’d been standing slightly behind Taehyung not sure what to say to Hoseok, that is if he even wanted to talk to you. 

“Ahh hey Y/n. You still know me so well huh?” He laughs, bringing the bouquet to his head. “Be honest, do I still look like them?” He asks and you roll your eyes with a smile. 

“Nah you look more like the one on the bottom that’s wilted and dying. I can’t believe you’re so old now.” You tease easily falling into your old rhythm. Hoseok was always bubbly and playful, an easiness surrounded him that always made you comfortable, even now it seems. 

“Hey it’s only been a year since we last saw each other, I’m only a year older!” He whines. 

“You guys knew each other?” Taehyung asks and you pause. How do you explain to your date that his friend is your ex without it being awkward?

“Yeah we’re old friends.” Hoseok says, seeming to read your uneasiness and giving you an easy out. You give him a grateful smile. 

“Yeah we just lost touch, though it’s good to see you again. I’m glad to see you’re doing well.” You mean it. Hoseok was your first love, he was everything you could’ve asked for but eventually you two fell out of love and ended it mutually before you began to hate each other. You’ll always have a soft spot for him and it makes you happy to see he’s doing so well. 

“Yeah me too. I should’ve reached out sooner.” Hoseok tells you and you just shrug.  

“Maybe it was best we found each other again now. Though I wouldn’t mind being friends again.” 

“I’d like that. I missed my favorite tsundere.” Hoseok giggles and you groan. 

“Everyone keeps calling me that today.” You whine. 

“Tsundere? She’s much too shy and sweet for that don’t you think?” Taehyung asks completely confused about this whole interaction. You guess it makes sense because with Hoseok you were kinda like how you are with Jungkook. You’ve never been the bashful type until now. 

“Shy?” Hoseok asks and Taehyung nods. You nod in agreement and Hoseok hums looking between you both for a few moments. “What’d you think of the performance?” 

“The first one was great. I didn’t know you choreographed anything besides hip hop.” You tell him, grateful for the switch of topics. Hoseok is really saving you tonight. 

“Yeah I thought I’d try new genres and become a more well-rounded dancer.”Someone yells Hoseok’s name from across the room and you all turn to see a short girl wave brightly at him, a bouquet nearly as big as her in her arms. “I uhh gotta go but thanks for coming by.” Hoseok says with a slight blush on his cheeks before scurrying over to her. You can’t help but smile after him. You hope this one works out for him. 

“You ready to go?” Taehyung asks lacing his fingers in your own. 

“Yeah, I’m starving. Want to pick up something on the way back?” 

Taco bell in hand and a kiss goodbye you make your way back up to your apartment with a smile on your face. Today went much better than expected. Opening the door connected to your hallway you’re surprised to come face to face with Jungkook. So surprised that you take a step back and trip, beginning to fall backwards down the stairwell before strong arms wrap around your middle and bring you upright. His arm moves so one hand cradles your head and you both just stand there in shock as you process what just happened. You almost fell down the stairs and Jungkook caught you. You almost fell down the stairs!

“Don’t scare me like that!” You yell, pulling away to slap his rather firm chest. 

“How was I supposed to know you were on the other side!” He exclaims, 

“I almost died!” 

“You probably just would’ve gotten concussed but…hey I caught you! Where’s my thank you?” 

“You want me to thank you when you almost killed me??” You ask and Jungkook rolls his eyes. 

“You’re so dramatic. Also you uhh threw your taco bell and I’m pretty sure that’s a rat eating it.” 

“What?” You scream, jumping into his arms-not like you needed to though since they’re still wrapped tightly around you- hiding your face in his neck and trying not to picture that rat. You’re a bit of a hypochondriac so just the idea of what diseases the rat could be carrying is freaking you out. Jungkook only chuckles at you before reopening the door leading towards the hallway and carrying you towards your front door where you effectively release him. “You owe me dinner.” 

“Do I?” He asks, raising an eyebrow at you. 

“You made me drop my taco bell and I haven’t had dinner yet.” You pout. 

“Do I always have to take care of you?” Jungkook sighs before unlocking his own front door and pulling you inside. 

“What do you mean take care of me? I’m just a random person remember?” You quip but Jungkook ignores you as he scours throw his fridge. “Bambi stop ignoring me.” You whine which finally gets his attention. 

“Sit thief.” 

“If thief is your attempt at an affectionate pet name I hope you know I hate it.” You tell him, moving to sit at the barstool anyways. 

“All the more reason to use it. Now thief, welcome to Jungkook’s ramen shop where we only serve the finest cup ramen. What flavor do you want?” 

“If this is a restaurant shouldn’t you be wearing one of those big white hats or something? Also chicken please.” 

“Boring choice but okay. Also I’m not wearing one of Jin’s stupid hats.” Jungkook says, turning on the kettle before moving to face you. 

“So you’re telling me he has one? Here… In this apartment?” You ask, eyes glinting with mischief. Jeon Jungkook will be wearing one of those stupid hats even if it’s the last thing you do. 

“I feel like if I say yes I’m going to regret it.” He tells you earnestly but you pay him no mind as you scour the kitchen looking for said hat. It’s not in the cupboards or pantry and you’re beginning to lose interest in finding it until you come across the linen closet in the hallway. You wouldn’t think it’s in there but the way Jungkook stiffens has your spidey senses tingling. With a flourish you open in the door exclaiming ‘aha!’ as you retrieve the item of your dreams along with an apron that says ‘kiss the cook’. 

“Since you’re preparing my food I need you to wear a hat. I don’t want to find a hair that’s not mine in my ramen.” 

“I’m not wearing that.” 

“Fine.” You say with a huff, placing the hat on the counter in front of you. “At least wear the apron?” You bat your lashes at him and he concedes, putting on the stupid thing with the frilly edges. Step one: complete. 

When Jungkook is busy pouring the boiling water in the cups and trying not to burn himself you sneak up behind him, the hat clutched between your fingers as your knees bend in preparation to jump on his back. While not the most conventional method he’s annoyingly kinda tall and if you can get above him you have a better chance of securing the hat onto his head and getting him to keep it there. As soon as the kettle is placed down onto the counter you attack, yelling out a war cry as you launch yourself onto him and almost falling off in laughter at the girlish scream that makes it past his throat. Lucy is barking from what you assume to be his room and the apartment is a madhouse as Jungkook teeters side to side with your legs wrapped around your face and your fingers trying to center the hat on his squirming head. 

“Stop moving!” You yell, accidentally bonking him square on the head with your fist. 

“Ow! Stop fucking hitting me!” He yells back, once again squirming beneath you. 

“I wouldn’t have to if you just stayed still! We could’ve avoided this if you had worn it in the first place.” You’re both too busy arguing to hear the footsteps of one of the other inhabitants of the apartment emerge from their bedroom but when you both spin around you’re surprised by Seokjin causally leaning against the wall with a smirk on his face. 

“Say cheese.” He smiles, blinding you with the flash before you can hide behind Jungkook’s head. “Jimin will love this.” He snickers and like Jungkook’s hair is a joystick for him to move you pull it forward to urge him to walk towards Seokjin. 

“Don’t you dare send that! He has enough blackmail material on me already!” You yell, your grip on Jungkook slipping as you attempt to stomp the ground only to realize mid-movement that you’re not actually on the ground. Thankfully Jungkook has faster reflexes then you and catches you before you can fully fly off his body, slamming your upper half into his back while his other hand slides higher up your thigh to secure you now around his hips. It takes you a moment to register that your leg is so warm where his hand is because there’s no fabric barrier and it takes another moment to realize your skirt has probably slid up an embarrassing amount. “Okay put me down, put me down.” You say, slapping Jungkook’s arm to force him into urgency. 

“Alright, alright.” He says before ungracefully dropping you onto your ass. 

“I hate you.” You tell him before straightening out your skirt. 

“What were you two even doing?” Seokjin asks and you sigh. 

“He won’t wear the stupid hat.” You grumble and Seokjin sighs. 

“Kookie wear the hat.” 

“Yeah bambi wear the hat.” When Jungkook is still adamant he won’t be wearing the hat you look up into their ceiling light dramatically before pouting. 

“Look Kook you made her sad.” Jin says, gesturing to you still staring into the light. 

“What’re you doing? You’re gonna make yourself go blind, stop.” Jungkook says but you hold up a hand to silence him. 

“Hang on I’m trying to make myself cry.” You tell him and Jungkook only chuckles. 

“You’re ridiculous. If I wear the hat will you stop?” Immediately you look over to him with watery eyes, blinking rapidly to try and get the annoying circles out of your vision. 

“Yes.” You grin, clapping as he adjusts it to sit lopsided on his head. That’s good enough for you as you jump up in glee. You’re too blind- really those spots just won’t fade away- to notice the almost fond smile Jungkook sends you. 

“You might as well take a picture. This is the only time you’re gonna see me like this.” Jungkook tells you and you grab your phone off the counter and point the camera at you. 

“Say I love you” You tease. 

“I hate you” Jungkook says and you giggle. All is right once again in the universe.

Friday finally comes along and you have a slight problem. You’ve been so busy with Jungkook and Lucy- you have to make sure she’s getting proper care and long walks- that you forgot you were supposed to invite Taehyung over to Jimin and Yoongi’s for game night. And now you’re frantically blowing his phone up at four p.m. hoping that he didn’t make plans already. Stupid Jungkook. Like the angels above have taken pity on you, Taehyung is thankfully free and fully okay with you dragging him to Jimin and Yoongi’s place. Per tradition, they provide the place and the drinks and you provide the snacks. Though you’ve been craving fried chicken lately so you’re someone tempted to bring over a whole meal instead. You’re still deep in contemplation when Taehyung arrives at your door, a bag of chips in his hand because he didn’t want to arrive empty handed. How thoughtful. 

“Do you think I should bring fried chicken?” You ask Taehyung, grabbing a few things before you leave for Jimin’s. 

“If you want to, I certainly wouldn’t mind.” 

“Friend chicken it is. Bambi was telling me about this place yesterday and apparently it’s really good.” You ramble, slipping on your shoes by the door. 

“Bambi?” Taehyung asks, following you once you’ve locked up. 

“Yeah, a friend of mine.” You tell him, eyeing the old taco bell stain in the stairwell. You hope the rats enjoyed your five dollars worth of tacos. 

“Is that their favorite movie?” Taehyung asks and you wonder why he’s so curious. Though you guess that’s not the most common nickname and maybe he’s just trying to get to know the people you hang out with. 

“No, they just have big doe eyes. They’re kinda pretty sometimes.” You shrug, not thinking too much about what you’re saying. 

“Hey my friend has eyes like that too! Though that’s a pretty common eye shape.” 

“Yeah but I’d be able to recognize this pair anywhere. They’re quite distinctive.” Taehyung just nods, probably getting bored talking about a pair of eyes he’s never seen on a person he doesn’t know. 

“Hey how come I’ve never really met any of your friends besides Hoseok? Are you hiding them from me?” You tease though you are a little curious. Sure he’s only meeting Jimin because Jimin basically forced you to do so but you’ve never even really heard him talk about his own friends. 

“More like I’m hiding you from them. You’re just too cute; they might slip up and fall in love with you or something.” You laugh and roll your eyes, shoving his arm lightly. 

“Yeah right.” You scoff, yelping when Taehyung nudges you to the side with his whole body in retaliation to your push. “You want to fight Taehyung?” You ask him, brow raised in challenge. 

“Bring it cutie.” He laughs running down the sidewalk a bit as you attempt to check him. “No fair! You can’t just run away.” You pout, placated by the soft kiss he presses to your forehead. You take the moment of weakness to push him, giggling as you run away in the direction of Jimin’s apartment building with Taehyung hot on your heels. 

There’s something unnerving about the way Jimin is observing you and Taehyung, a critical eye he’s never had before when you’ve introduced other guys. Normally he’s bubbly and warm, already giving them a hug like they’re his long lost friend but today he’s rather distant. It’s extra odd since he suggested you meeting but maybe Jimin is just feeling like playing the bad cop today. The doorbell rings and distracts you from observing Jimin who’s observing Taehyung as the boys watch you with anticipation. You’re pretty sure you can hear Yoongi’s stomach rumble as you answer the door while Taehyung heads to the bathroom. 

“Oh hey Namjoon.” You say, not quite expecting to see his face. You haven’t really seen him since he accidentally punched you- you almost get the feeling he’s been avoiding you since. 

“Oh hey Y/n.” He says sheepishly and you just give him an easy smile. 

“You haven’t been avoiding me have you? Joonie I’m not mad at you.” 

“You’re not?” He asks incredulously. 

“No. The bruise healed already by the way, it was pretty small.” 

“I’m so glad to hear it.” He breathes out, sounding pretty relieved. 

“Just for future reference, if it’s an accident I won’t get mad at you for it.” You tell him. 

“Good to know. Oh it’ll be $12.74. Half off for friends and family.” Namjoon smiles, a big one that makes his dimples pop out. 

“You’re too kind to me Joonie.” You say, making sure to tip him 50% just because. 

“You’re too kind to me.” He parrots but happily accepts, waving you goodbye before disappearing back into the hallway. Closing the door Taehyung reemerges from the back hallway and hurries over to give you a hand. 

Setting the food down on the coffee table the boys immediately dig in, not even giving you time to grab plates. Sitting between Taehyung and Jimin, you happily munch away and the four of you eat in silence as My First First Love plays on the tv. Despite Yoongi’s claims that it’s cliche, you’ve caught him watching it every time you come over. He even teared up a little at the bridge scene. 

When the wings are picked clean you ask Jimin to help you clean up solely to interrogate him from the safety of the kitchen. “Stop looking at Tae like that.” You whisper yell and doesn’t even look at you as he’s throwing the bones in the trash. 

“I’m just trying to see if he’s the right choice.” Jimin whispers back. 

“Right choice? You say that like there’s another option.” You say only to scoff. “Besides it’s my decision anyways.” 

“But my ship.” He whines and you sigh. 

“Just give him a chance okay? He’s really sweet and I want him to actually like you if this turns into something. Plus you’re the one who asked to meet him.” 

“You’re right.” Jimin sighs. “He did think to bring chips after all. Jungkook would never.” 

“Jungkook?” 

“Who’s ready to get whooped in Mario Kart?” Jimin yells leaving you to stand alone in the kitchen, utterly confused. What does Taehyung have to do with Jungkook? Shrugging it off you head back into the living room, your seat next to Taehyung now occupied by Jimin who has decided Taehyung is his new best friend. He even gave him the matching controller, something you and Yoongi had to earn. Sitting next to Yoongi, you lean your head on his shoulder as Jimin teaches Taehyung the rules of Mario Kart. 

“You good?” Yoongi murmurs as to not attract attention from the others, 

“Yeah Jimin just confused me is all. You like Taehyung right?” You ask. 

“Of course, he’s my friend. What’d Jimin say?” 

“Something about making sure Taehyung is the right choice. Whatever that means. And he mentioned Jungkook which just confused me.” 

“I think he meant that you just act very different around the two. From what I’ve seen you’re pretty meek around Tae and while it’s cute it’s a little out of nature for you. We’re just used to you being a spitfire is all.” Your mind drifts back to Hoseok’s shocked expression when Taehyung referred to you as shy. Was the you around Taehyung really so different? Sure you were more nervous and struggled to think of what to say and were half as snarky as usual but that’s not a bad thing right? You’re just evolving. Besides Taehyung likes this version of you. But everyone’s doubts has you wondering if it’s really you at all. You’d never change yourself for someone else, right? 

You can’t get the thought that maybe you’re holding yourself back around Taehyung out of your head all night, leaving you to not enjoy game night. Every time you interact with him you can’t help but wonder if you’re being yourself or if you’re portraying an image you’re not. Because while Taehyung does make you nervous and sometimes does make you stumble on your words, the more you’re aware of how you might be changing your behavior the more you’re aware that you’re suppressing your harsher burns or remarks that you’d have no problem saying to anyone else. You wonder if Taehyung realizes how different you act with Yoongi and Jimin compared to him or just amounts it to the fact that they’ve been your long-term friends. You don’t know, you’re not sure of anything at this point regarding you and Taehyung. You wish Jimin never said anything because now you’re left second guessing. 

The thought follows you into the week and even leads you into ignoring Taehyung’s texts if for nothing but to not accidentally lie to him. You don’t want him thinking you’re a fake person and at this point you’re so turned around that you’re not even sure how you could make sense of what’s going on in your head. The more you think about it the more you’re convinced that you’re not yourself around him but the more you convince yourself the louder your doubts get because what if you’re only convinced because you think you should be. The only time you get any solace is with Jungkook and Lucy so naturally you’ve been spending time with them. Though it’s only to see her of course, never Jungkook. Which is why every day you make sure to bring her something new. Whether it’s a costume- yes you went back and bought her the pink onesie, she hated it but you got a cute picture- some new treats, toys, or even little bows you never came empty handed because that would mean you also partly came to spend time with Jungkook. And wanting to spend time with Jungkook would mean that your annoying e-boy neighbor finally broke down your walls and created a little home in your heart. It would mean that he’s finally become your friend and that’s information that can’t get out. Besides if he finds out you think of him as a friend would that change the way he interacts with you? Would you no longer be able to make fun of him and call him names like bambi just to piss him off? 

You think about this as you’re stood outside his door, a hand raised to knock on it and two coffees in hand- Jungkook had promised you to teach you all the tricks in Smash Bros so you could finally beat Jin tonight and it’d probably take a while so you needed to stay awake- paired with a pup cup from Starbucks for Lucy when the door swings open and Jungkook’s doe eyes are frantic. “I’m so glad you’re here.” Is all he says before pulling you into a hug, the pup cup falling to your feet as you struggle to hold onto the two larger drinks. He grips you like a child holding a teddy bear for comfort, his breath ragged against your neck as he hides his face in the crook there. You instantly panic because something has him obviously scared but try your best to remain calm to comfort him. As best as you can you wrap your arms around his back, careful to hold the two cold drinks away from him. 

“You okay?” You ask softly although very aware the answer is no. You and Jungkook have never gone down this road before- one of soft words and touches- so you try and navigate it as best as possible even if that means asking redundant questions. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with Lucy, she just keeps coughing and she’s spitting out this white foamy stuff and I don’t know what to do because she’s so hot that I’m scared to carry her in case she overheats and I-“ He sobs out, pushing into you harder as he tries and hides the tears. It’s a little futile however as you can feel him shaking around you but let him collect himself before gently pulling away to set the drinks down. Gingerly you wipe his tears as he hangs his head down in shame- probably from breaking down in front of you (his frenemy)- and you gaze up at him softly. 

“It’s gonna be okay, I’ll go with you to the vet and we’ll deal with it from there. You can even hold my hand if you need to.” You joke trying to crack a smile to get him to cheer up a little but it doesn’t do anything for him. “Do you have a kennel for her or anything?” You ask and he shakes his head no, his bottom lip trembling. 

“I’m such a bad dog dad.” He sobs and you’re so frantic to calm him down you place little kisses along his face to try and stop the tears. He tenses immediately when he pulls himself out of his thoughts long enough to realize what you’re doing and you pull away embarrassed. 

“We can use a box with some thin blankets it’s fine.” You say, refusing to acknowledge what you just did. It’s something that’s better to just sweep under the rug and forget it happened. Grabbing a smaller box from recycling- you’ve never been so thankful for Costco than in this moment- you hurry to Jungkook’s bedroom where you can hear a little honks from Lucy. Gently opening the door you find her nestled in a bunch of blankets on Jungkook’s bed, the fan blowing directly on her while her head nuzzles his pillows. The footsteps behind you alert you of Jungkook’s presence and you nod to Lucy lying on the bed. 

“See you’re not a bad dog dad at all, she loves you. She’s finding comfort in your scent right now.” Stepping into the room you gingerly walk towards her as to not startle to poor puppy, setting the box down beside you on the bed. 

“Hi baby, we’re gonna go to the doctor okay?” You tell her, gently moving her out of the nest and onto the comforter as you hurry to stuff the little nest into the box. “Bambi do you have a hoodie or something that you’ve worn recently?” You ask and immediately he begins fishing for one in his laundry basket. The hoodie is just a plain grey and you feel a little bad at the inevitable stains but place it into the box anyways before turning back to Lucy. Carefully you slide one hand under her shoulder and head while the other slides under her bottom half before you carry her almost like a newborn baby into the box. It’s not the best crate but it’s the best you can do at a moments notice. Jungkook immediately takes the box from you, careful to hold it from the bottom as you hurry back into the living room and grab his keys from the rack and the two coffees- you’ll probably need them for the long night ahead of you. 

Googling the nearest 24 hour vet clinic seeing as it’s around 9 p.m you hurry into your car and head off. You attempt to play music to calm everyone’s nerves but Jungkook turns it off and instead you sit in silence as your navigation occasionally calls out directions. 

A ten minute ride later you’re once again hurrying, Jungkook sprinting through the doors when Lucy starts to gag. You follow after him, coming in just in time to see one of the Vet Tech’s take Lucy to the back. Jungkook slumps against the counter as the receptionist readies some files for him to complete and you take the clipboard from her after urging Jungkook to sit down. Quietly you fill out the information sheet for him, only occasionally asking him questions for things you don’t know the answer to. You’ve just sat down when they call for Jungkook, his hand finding your own and you squeeze it thinking he just needs a moment of comfort when he tugs on it, refusing to let go. “Come with me?” He whispers and you nod, immediately standing up to follow him with his hand still sat comfortably in your own. 

“So we’ve took her temperature and she’s running a high fever and obviously she’s coughing but can you describe her other symptoms if she had any?” The Vet Tech asks and Jungkook nods. 

“She uhh coughed up this white foamy stuff that kinda had the consistency of snot and she was gagging before we came here. She’s probably been coughing for the last couple of hours.” 

“Did she do or eat anything out of the ordinary today?” 

“She met my friend’s dog. I know she doesn’t have all her shots but I thought it’d be okay since he has all his.” Jungkook mumbles and the guy nods along while making notes. 

“We’re just going to take a few tests to make sure we have the right diagnosis and then we’ll get back to you. We’re not that busy so it should only take an hour or two at most. If you’d like to go back in the waiting room we’ll call you back when we’re ready or you can wait here if you’d like.” He says before exiting the small room and disappearing. 

“What do you want to do?” You ask Jungkook and he just sighs. 

“I don’t know. Do you think this is my fault?” He asks, his normally sparkly eyes are dull as devastation and heartbreak take full form in them. It hurts you to watch and you almost feel your own heart break at his evident pain. As much as you love Lucy you only spend a few hours a day with her so your pain can amount nowhere close to Jungkook’s. 

“I don’t think we should go there, especially when we don’t have a diagnosis. Let’s just stay here so you can nap. You look exhausted.” You tell him and he sneers. 

“You want me to sleep when my dog could be dying?” He yells and you flinch away. 

“Let’s not jump to conclusions. And she was puking up snot Kook it’s not like she was coughing blood. It’ll be okay.” You tell him, trying to be understanding and not take his yelling personal. “You don’t have to sleep alright?” 

“Alright.” He sighs, sitting back down again before laying his head in your lap. “I’m sorry for yelling.” He mumbles, turning his head to bury it into your thigh to hide his embarrassment. 

“I know, it’s okay.” You say softly, brushing your fingers through his hair. He closes his eyes and eventually his body relaxes enough that you realize despite his previous words he has in fact fallen asleep. You continue stroking his hair as he snores lightly against you, praying that for his sake Lucy is okay.

“Sorry that took so long, we had an emergency surgery and Lucy got put on hold for a little.” The Vet says as she barges in, your head banging against the wall as you startle awake. Jungkook groans from your lap, rubbing his eyes as he pouts at being abruptly awoken. 

“It’s okay.” You croak out, voice hoarse from sleep. You stretch all your limbs, your back cracking wonderfully as the Vet waits for both of you to wake up, somewhat amused. 

“We looked through the test results and it turns out she has Kennel Cough. It’s nothing too serious, it typically clears up on it’s own but since she’s not fully vaccinated we’re going to give her medicine to help clear it up faster and make sure it’s fully gone. By the time the medication is finished be sure to bring her back for her final vaccination and just don’t let her around other dogs until then okay?” You both nod and she gives you the prescription, before informing you that’d she’ll be right back with Lucy. 

Checking your phone you realize that it’s currently 2 a.m. and you wonder just how long the two of you have been sleeping on these hard chairs. The vet appears shortly later with a sleepy Lucy- apparently they gave her some medicine to make her sleep through the night- along with a crate. “Figured you’d need a real one of these instead of a cardboard box. I already put her blankets and the jacket inside so she’s all good to go. Just make sure to stop by the front desk and sign out.” With a wave goodbye and a get well to Lucy she leaves the two of you alone again. 

“Do you think the crate is free?” Is the first thing Jungkook says to you and you laugh, ruffling his hair. 

“I don’t know Bambi. If not let’s just make a run for it.” 

“Just what I want to be arrested for: stealing a dog crate.” He laughs, rolling his eyes as he presses a gentle kiss to Lucy’s forehead. “Let’s go home baby.” He says and for a moment your tired mind thinks he’s talking to you. Shaking your head of useless thoughts you lead him back to the reception desk where he pays for her care- the crate surprisingly was free- before you lead him back to your car where this time he lets you play music on the drive home. 

Pulling up to your apartment complex, you park before taking the elevator this time to the second floor, too tired to walk up a measly two flights of stairs. You’re just about to fish your key out of your bag when Jungkook’s hand on your wrist stops you. “Will you come in and help me make sure she’s settled?” He asks and he looks so nervous while asking you that you can’t say no- not that you were planning to. Nodding you follow him inside after taking your shoes off, tucking her into her bed that’s in the corner of his room. 

“Do you think I should let her up here?” 

“Your body heat might make her fever worse.” You tell him and he visibly deflates. “It’s okay you can wake up bright and early if you want to sit by her side all day tomorrow. But she’s so knocked out she probably won’t even realize you’re not next to her right now.” It’s the most you can offer him as your own drowsiness sets in and every time you blink your eyelids stick together for a little longer. 

“Do you just want to stay here?” Jungkook asks and for a split second you’re wide awake. “You just look so tired I don’t think you could make it the ten feet next door.” He chuckles and you roll your eyes. 

“I could.” You huff and Jungkook doesn’t say anything as he observes you. 

“You don’t have to though.” He says softly, moving to lay flat on his back. 

“Touch me and you’re dead.” You tell him, the bed creaking as you settle down beside him. He hums in response and you roll onto your side, letting sleep take over. 

Surprise, Surprise-when you wake up Jungkook has broken your rule. In fact his whole body is wrapped around you as his leg is nestled between your own while one arm wraps around your waist and the other has somehow slid under your neck. It’s entirely too domestic of a scene with a once sworn enemy and you scramble to get out of this position before Jungkook wakes up. Except he was either already awake or your squirming awoke him as he mumbles at you to stop moving before encasing his arms around you and rolling so you’re effectively trapped under him. It does render you motionless but it also renders you breathless since he’s so heavy. I mean really what is this kid eating? 

“I can’t breathe.” You say into a mouthful of pillow only further suffocating himself. Jungkook only hums in response, snuggling into you further like this is the most natural thing for you two to do. You manage to turn your head enough to not be face deep in a pillow and choke out, “You’re too heavy. Get off.” as he finally gets the hint that he’s been killing you softly and rolls to the other side of the bed. 

“Sorry.” He says at least having the decency to look remorseful and embarrassed by the fact that he almost murdered you. 

“You broke my rule, I said don’t touch me.” You scold him, already reaching to the side to grab the pillow. 

“But you cuddled me first!” 

“Don’t care, I have to kill you now.” You shrug before whacking him in the face a little bit harder than you meant to. “Boom, headshot. You’re dead.” You giggle, probably way to nonchalant about the fact you woke up entangled in the arms of your nemesis but if you don’t think about it, it can’t hurt you. 

“You really think a headshot could kill me, the indestructible Jeon Jungkook? Never!” Jungkook says, reaching around to grab a pillow to hit you with before Seokjin’s voice sounds through the other side of the door. 

“Jungkook are you playing with your action figures again? I told you that’s weird.” You stifle the laugh fighting to break out with your hand, taking much to pleasure in the fact that Jungkook’s face is bright red and he can no longer look you in the eye. 

“No Jin! I’m talking with Y/n.” He yells before his eyes widen at his mistake. He just outed you both as…cuddle buddies. The door bursts open at that, Seokjin being much to awake for whatever time it is in the morning with his phone pointed directly at you for incriminating evidence. 

“It’s happening!” He screams, waking up Lucy who manages something that somewhat resembles her normal bark. 

“Lucy!” You and Jungkook both scream, scrambling off the bed to check on her. Seokjin keeps his camera on you both as you and Jungkook fuss over Jungkook’s tiny puppy completely forgetting that he’s in the room. 

“Everything is falling together so beautifully don’t you think Jimin?’ He whispers and you look up for a moment in confusion having heard him but he only winks at you in response. Seokjin sure has a lot of secrets. 

You finally reach out to Taehyung feeling bad for ignoring him for a week but also needing closure. You need to see once and for all if you really are a different person around Taehyung. It’ll only have to be after the class that started it all, your 400 person lecture that is the whole reason you and Jungkook even became aware of each other’s existence despite being neighbors. You’ve asked him to meet you after class seeing that it’s the last class of the day for you and you didn’t think it was fair to keep Taehyung waiting any longer. He was a good person and he deserved to know where your head is at. You almost hope that if this doesn’t end up working that you can genuinely still be friends. 

Jungkook has apparently decided to save you a seat- which is a little odd since you’ve never made an effort to sit next to each other before- if him flagging you down is anything to go by. He did make a good choice in seats though- choosing to be in the back and near the edge of the long rows- as it means you don’t have to climb over a bunch of people just to get to him. “Hi.” He breathes like he’s relieved to have you sit beside him. You wonder if he thought you’d just turn and walk in the other direction. 

“Hi bambi.” You smile, pulling your laptop out of your bag and sticking it on the little tray connected to your chair. “Thanks for saving me a seat.” 

“Anytime thief.” He actually snorts when he watches your face drop, apparently still getting satisfaction from the old nickname. 

“Are you never going to let that go?” You sigh, slumping back into the chair and placing your head in your palm. 

“First you took my backpack, then my plant, then my dog. Is there anything you haven’t taken from me?” He teases and you huff. 

“I give you a cute nickname like Bambi and you decide to stick me with thief. Why do I even try to be nice to you?” 

“Because I’m adorable and it’s impossible not to be nice to me. But if you’re really so hard done by it I guess I can call you Thumper.” He shrugs, cackling at the disgust that takes shape on your face. 

“Gross. Matching pet names is what you came up with?” 

“It’s thief or thumper, your pick.” He has an evil glint in his eyes as he smiles so wide at you that his whole face crinkles, his shoulders rising up to shake in laughter. It might be the happiest you’ve ever seen him and you suppose if thumper makes him so happy it’s not so bad.

“Fine thumper will do.” You murmur, chucking when he high fives himself like a total loser. The professor then comes in and the class falls silent- which is a little odd since normally this class is never quiet- as he turns to face you all. 

“It’s come to my attention there is a thief among us. Last week a student reported their laptop missing from this class that has yet to be returned. If you know anything about this and have substantial proof as to where it is, you’ll receive extra credit on your next paper.” 

“Any chance it was you, my favorite little thief?” Jungkook whispers, groaning in pain when you elbow him. 

“No and like I’d share it with you. You don’t deserve the extra credit.” You whisper back. 

For the rest of the class Jungkook is surprisingly quiet, so much so that you even forget he’s beside you. When you do remember he is though you get oddly creeped out because in the time you’ve known him he’s rarely ever quiet. Even if he’s not making noise with his mouth he’s tapping his foot or fingers along to an unknown beat and yet he’s eerily silent. Turning to him in concern you watch as he analyzes the back of everyone’s head in great concentration, moving along the row in front of you slowly as to gain every detail. “What’re you doing?” You ask, ignoring the professor as he wraps up the lecture. Looking at Jungkook’s screen you notice that he hasn’t even written down a single thing from today. 

“I’m looking for the laptop thief.” He says nonchalantly like it isn’t weird to stare at the back of stranger’s heads for the past hour. 

“And you’re finding that out from looking at the back of their heads?” 

“Yes, I’m seeing who looks most like one.” He tells you and you turn to him fully to get his attention. 

“Do I look like a thief?” You ask, unmoving as the people around you quickly gather their stuff and head out of the lecture hall. 

“Yes.” He says matter-of-factly. A smile making its way onto his face as he can read the clear irritation on yours. 

“How so?” 

“It’s just something about you. One look at you and I knew you were it.” 

“That’s because you saw me with your backpack in my hand dumbass. You’re not batman with your ‘here comes trouble’ detector.” You scoff, finally moving to put your laptop in your bag. You’ve only just realized you two are about the last ones in the lecture hall and the remaining few can probably hear your conversation. You don’t need more people thinking you’re a criminal. 

“That’s- that’s not even a thing? Have you ever watched a superhero movie in your life?” Jungkook asks, like he can’t fathom the fact that you were just spitting nonsense. Honestly you had seen some superhero movies but you didn’t care much for them. 

“In my defense, spidey senses are a thing as well as a guy who literally shoots webs from his hands? How does that make sense?” You can’t help the smile that takes over your face when he groans in agitation, turning around to catch him running a hand through his hair and fixing his glasses- you were right, he only wears them for the aesthetic which is why he never has them on at home. 

“He was bit by a radioactive spider!” 

“How did it not die when being around the radiation? It’s literally a tiny spider.” You ask and Jungkook just looks at you exasperatedly. 

“People don’t die from radiation.” He deadpans, flicking your forehead for being stupid. 

“But it’s a spider. Also how did he not die from being exposed to the radiation? Wasn’t he like a scrawny guy?” 

“That was Captain America you idiot.” He scoffs, rolling his eyes as well. You knew that but Jungkook is too fun to piss off. Besides it’s only fair since you know he gets the same satisfaction from you. 

“I know idiot.” You grin, flicking his forehead as you skip away from him and towards the doors.

He chases after you a matching grin on his face as he grabs onto your hand to slow you down. “So you’re purposely being irritating?” 

“Don’t act like you don’t do the same.” You giggle, completely unaware of the third set of eyes in the room. 

“Uhh am I interrupting something?” Taehyung asks and you suddenly remember you were supposed to meet him after class. 

“Taehyung hi.” You smile at him awkwardly, taking a step away from Jungkook who drops your hand. 

“You know Taehyung?” Jungkook asks you and you nod. 

“Yeah I forgot I was supposed to meet him outside of class today.” You tell him before turning back to Taehyung. “Sorry about that by the way.” 

“So Jungkook’s bambi?” Taehyung asks though it’s more like he’s talking it through himself. “And you’re the backpack thief.” 

“That sounds like a bad rip off of Percy Jackson.” You joke, trying to displace some of the awkward tension in the air. No one laughs. 

“Taehyung how do you know thumper?” Jungkook asks, his voice teetering on actually angry. It’s not the type you’re used to hearing for the one he directs at you is normally more light-hearted and teasing. This type is deep and gravely like he has hot coals burning in his windpipe. 

“We went out a few times.” Taehyung says and you find yourself backtracking when you watch Jungkook’s face drop a little. You’re not sure why it drops but his downcast expression worries you all the same. 

“It wasn’t anything serious though. It’s not like we’re officially together.” You don’t know why you rush to reassure him, especially since Taehyung is in the room and you’re talking about him, but you can’t help but feel guilty for his sadness. You feel a little bit like Jimin did when he moved out. 

“So that’s it?” Jungkook finally speaks though his voice is noticeably weaker. 

“Yeah.” You say, hoping that’ll solve whatever problem is happening between you right now. That seems like it’s the wrong answer though as he turns around and exists the doors on the other side of the classroom. You wish you could chase after him and find out what’s wrong but you don’t know what to say. 

“Taehyung I’m sorry.” You start, after following him out to a secluded bench near the building you were just in. “I didn’t mean to say that I wasn’t serious about you. I do like you and our dates did mean something to me. I just- he looked so sad and I panicked.” 

He’s silent for a long moment and you grow antsy beside him before he decides to speak. “Do I make you feel confident?” He asks, turning to you head on so he can read your body language as you try and process his question. 

“What?” 

“I was confused by why Hoseok seemed so shocked when I described you as shy and then I saw how you reacted with Jimin and Yoongi but I amounted to it being because you’re old friends. But seeing you with Kook who I know you only met a few days before me, I can’t help but notice you’re almost a different person. So, do I make you feel confident?” 

“You…you make me feel nervous but that’s only because you’re so handsome.” You start only for him to cut you off. 

“But you should be used to my face by now. Do you think Jungkook is handsome?” 

“Of course but I don’t really see the relevance. Sorry let me rephrase, I’m not very good at expressing myself.” You ramble, mind sent into overdrive as you scramble to think of words. 

“Sweetheart,” Taehyung says softly, placing a hand on your cheek to soothingly stroke his thumb along your cheekbone. “you deserve someone who you can easily express yourself to. You shouldn’t have to struggle to find the words.” 

“But I’m like that with everyone, it’s just who I am.” You shrug but Taehyung stops you again. 

“You’re not that way with Jungkook. I’ve heard you tell him off just fine in plenty of his stories about you. You never seem to find the wrong words around him. Even when you were stressed about his feelings being hurt just now you could find something to say. Besides, I don’t think we have half as much chemistry as you and Jungkook do. He almost kissed you that day Lucy peed on him.” 

“He what?” You exclaim, pulling away from Taehyung in shock. 

“I mean this in the nicest way possible but don’t you think it’s time you wake up and realize what’s right in front of you? Jungkook hasn’t been exactly subtle about his feelings for you and I think in your own way you weren’t exactly subtle about yours for him either.” 

“So you’re telling me I like Jungkook?” You say, the words coming out slowly as you process the sentence. As odd as it sounds on your tongue you feel a small weight lifted off your shoulders. 

“I’m saying that you should re-evaluate your relationship with him. I think you both mean a lot more to each other than the other thinks and it’s pretty easy to see on the outside. I just wish I would’ve figured out who you were sooner so I could avoid hurting my best friend.” Taehyung sighs, turning away from you to watch the people around you blissfully unaware of the mess that is your life. 

“Best friends?” You exclaim. “But I never heard much about you, no offense.” 

“We lost touch a little this semester when I became engrossed in my classes. If your portfolio is good enough they’ll show it to nearby galleries to display so I’ve been quite busy. The only bit of free time I’ve spent with you.” 

“But we went to Hoseok’s show?” You say, still trying to piece it together.

“Again, time spent with you but since he’s my roommate I can’t exactly not show up to his recital. Also you and Hoseok are terrible actors, I could tell you were exes the moment you stood awkwardly behind me.” Taehyung chuckles and you slap his arm in response. 

“Hey I could’ve been shy!” 

“We both know that’s not true.” 

“Is that why you never talked about your friends much? Because I’d probably know them through Hoseok and that’d be awkward.” 

“Yeah. I didn’t exactly know you were his ex at the time you asked me out. We’d only been living together for a couple months at that point.” Taehyung shrugs and you sigh. A lot could’ve been avoided if you and Taehyung had actually talked. Though you’re starting to realize that this is the easiest it’s ever been to talk to him now that the pressure of a relationship is off. 

“Hey Tae, do you think we can try being just friends? I really do enjoy your company.” You ask, a little too nervous to look at him for his reaction. Facing rejection is never easy. 

“I think we could work something out. Besides I don’t know if you noticed but this is probably the best conversation we’ve ever had. Ironically it’s about us breaking up, if you can even call this that.” Taehyung laughs and you laugh along beside him. Funny how some things work out. 

The next task on your list is finding Jungkook. You look at the dining halls first- Jungkook’s favorite place despite the fact that everything is either soggy or undercooked- but he’s nowhere to be seen. Then you head to the library thinking he’ll go to the last place you’d think to look for him- which of course makes it your second- but he’s not there either. Your last resort is to head home and see if maybe you can find him there. Jin answers the door this time, jerking his head back towards the hallway where Jungkook’s room is. 

“He’s back there sulking.” Jin whispers, handing you a tub of ice cream and a spoon. “He won’t let anyone in but I’m sure you’ll get special treatment.” 

“Jin, am I in your OTP?” You ask. His eyes widen comically as he shakes his head side to side. 

“No, of course not. What even is that? Sorry I don’t understand you and Kook’s nerd lingo.” He rambles and your mind- ever the hyperfixator- focuses on one word. In all the time that you’ve known your neighbors, you’ve never heard Jin use the word nerd. And you’ve been here countless hours every day. But one person you know that has an infinity for the word nerd is Park Jimin who you already know shares secrets with Jin. 

“Hmm okay. Though you might want to tell Jimin your ship could be sailing fairly soon.” You wink, enjoying the fact that this time you’re the one leaving with a smirk and he’s left confused. 

Knocking softly on his door, you ignore the way he groans “go away” at you and open it, ducking just barely in time for the pillow to graze the top of your head. “Thumper?” 

“Hey bambi. I brought you ice cream.” Slowly standing up, you take in the way Lucy is wrapped up in his arms like a little plushie, a thick blanket wrapped around him as he burrows into the pillows the longer you observe him. Handing it to him along with the spoon you sit on the edge of the bed, picking at the loose threads as you try and find the courage to confront what just happened. 

“Taehyung and I broke up, if you can even call it that.” You say suddenly, the spoon in Jungkook’s mouth falling against the mattress with a soft thud. You grimace at the hard stain that’s going to form but Lucy is delighted at the sticky residue left on the spoon. Lucky for her Jungkook is boring and likes vanilla ice cream. 

“You what?” He asks, mouth hanging open until you push it closed. 

“Don’t leave your mouth open, you’ll catch flies.” You giggle. “But yeah we decided we’re better off as friends.” You leave out the part that you decided you also might have feelings for Jungkook because today has already been an emotional day for you.

“Is-is there a specific reason why?” Jungkook asks almost pleadingly and as much as you want to give him the answer you hope he’s looking for you can’t. Not until you’ve slept on it, not until you’re sure that this is what you want. He deserves that at least. 

“We just didn’t click the same. I was pretty shy around him actually. Can you believe that?” You laugh and Jungkook sighs. 

“Why were you never shy with me?” 

“You’re kind of infuriating. Besides Taehyung never pushed my buttons like you do. There was nothing to be snarky to him about.” You shrug, your mind momentarily thinking back to what Jimin said what seems like such a long time ago: you’re not good at flirting! You’re just mean and shit. While a little ineloquent for your taste it sadly does some you up. You guess you were forever destined to end up in an enemies to lovers. 

It only takes two days for you to realize you’re an idiot. It only takes two days for you to realize that you may have accidentally been falling in love with your nemesis turned frenemy this whole time while not knowing it. You’ve always been bad with feeling but surely no one is that inept: well expect you of course. You should’ve seen it coming with the way he was constantly on your mind and began inviting yourself over to his place- something you don’t even do to your childhood best friend Jimin. Or that fact that you climbed in his bed, tired but competent to know that you’d probably wake up with his arms around you. And yet you continuously pushed these thoughts away under the pretense that he thought of you as nothing more than a frenemy at best- it was probably painfully obvious like when he put on the stupid chef hat to make you happy or when thief lost its negative connotation and became a sweet nickname for you. Perhaps the most glaring reason is the fact that he gave you matching pet names but in conclusion: you’re an idiot. 

“How could I not notice?” You whine to Jimin as you walk through campus. You’re on a rather old path- one that’s less of a straight shot to the student union- enjoying the shade that the buildings provide from the sun. Summer is beginning to settle in making walking around campus your least favorite activity. 

“They do say love is blind. Did you see that whole show they created? Yoongi and I made a shot game so whenever Jessica talked about her and Mark’s age gap we had to drink and I’ve never got wasted to fast in my life.” He snorts at the memory and you almost wish you had been there but drunk Jimin was undoubtably the clingiest Jimin. He was the epitome of the “I love you” drunk and as much as you did love him sometimes it was a bit too much for you to handle. Yoongi, however, loved drunk Jimin because Jimin gave him all the attention he was unwilling to express desire for. “I can imagine.” You laugh. “But I guess I don’t really know what to say. We’re rarely not arguing.” 

“Yeah but isn’t it that ‘I want to kiss you but also punch you’ type?” 

“Just how much do you and Jin talk about us? You’re starting to pick up on each other’s diction.” 

“You should just give the people what they want and messily confess to him. It really sets the tone for your ‘i love you, I love you not’ relationship.” Jimin laughs. 

“What should I say? Should I do it 10 things I hate about you style?” You ask, unaware that you’re passing the life science building, 

“Yes! Give me an idea of the performance.” 

“It’s not a performance, it’s a confession but nonetheless,” You pause and take a deep breath to gather your thoughts. “I hate the way you piss me off like the day we first met. I hate that I can hear your infuriating voice in my head all the time. I hate the way you talk to me like a friend. I hate the way I can’t stand to simply just be around you anymore. I hate the way you call me thief or thumper.” You’re too deep in your monologue to notice the way Jimin visibly panics in front of you, shaking his head rapidly from side to side to try and warn you silently to stop talking. Yet like any shakespearean play you run too long, too deep in your own feelings to notice the dagger you aim at your own heart.

It hits home when a shoulder checks into your own, a hurt, “If you hate me so much you could’ve just said so” coming from your favorite voice and you crumble. Because just like Romeo and Juliet you killed your love before it could have the chance to truly blossom. You think for once you might actually hate yourself as you watch his figure disappear as he breaks into a jog. Your heart cracks even further when you realize it’s probably because he’s crying- the imagine of him shoving his face into your neck to hide them from you resurfacing. And then you’re crying because you just ruined what could be the best thing you didn’t know you had. You wish you would’ve just said something two days ago because you don’t think you’ll get the chance to even speak to him again even if it’s just to apologize. 

Silent tears streak down your cheeks- you thought it’d be a cool thing to learn how to do when you were younger (cry silently that is)- as Jimin leads you away from the curious eyes of the other students as they no doubtably wonder what has you crying at a little past noon on a weekday. You wonder what they’d think if they knew you accidentally broke the heart of the boy you’re in love with while planning a confession. It was a simple case of wrong place, wrong time and yet just like that he’s gone. You laugh at the irony of it all- you lost him before you even had him- and Jimin just stares at you with pity. You hate it and so despite knowing he’s just trying to help and that you’re being irrational you shrug him off you and sprint to your own apartment, hoping for solace in the silence. For once it’s nice to come home to nothing.

You can’t sleep. It’s been approximately twelve hours since you crushed Jungkook and you can’t sleep not knowing if he’s okay. He probably won’t answer when he sees it’s you- he won’t answer your texts or calls- and yet you can’t stop yourself from getting out of bed and knocking on his door. It’s asking for your own heartbreak but you figure you deserve it at this point. No one comes after five minutes so you knock again and wait another five. Not wanting to look like an idiot for standing in the hallway when no one is home- or at least willing to answer- you head back to your own apartment. 

The next morning you wake up early in hopes to catch a glimpse of him going on his morning run- he always goes just before 8 a.m. so he can come back, shower, and then fall back asleep before he needs to leave for class- and yet his figure never emerges. Concerned you knock on his door and to your surprise Namjoon answers. Unsurprisingly he’s not happy to see you. “Go home Y/n.” He sighs. When he sees your dejected expression he pauses in closing the door on you. “Did you mean it?” 

“No, he wasn’t supposed to hear that. I was um practicing confessing.” You murmur, looking down at your hands awkwardly as you reveal your true intentions to Namjoon. You feel much too vulnerable. “Have you ever seen the movie 10 things I hate about you? She confesses in a similar monologue to what I was attempting but I didn’t make it to the end when he heard.” 

Namjoon hums for a moment before nodding like he’s come to a resolution. You wish he’d tell you what it was. “Give him time okay?” You nod solemnly before ducking back into your own apartment. 

The next day you resolve to buy him a succulent plant, a little aloe vera one from the market Taehyung works at. The plant is what started this whole hatred turned friendship turned…whatever this is. If you hadn’t argued over one stupid little plant you’d probably have never spoken after you awkwardly returned his bag. You’d have no reason to. So you hope that while it’s not a big gesture, it’d at least be a small place to start. Quietly you sneak to his front door and place it on the welcome mat, knocking quickly before ducking inside your peephole. You watch in anticipation as the door cracks open before closing again, the little succulent still on the mat. You heave a sigh, wondering what else you could do.

The next month passes by slowly and every day you stop by the store to buy another succulent. You’ve started to associate them with Jungkook, picking one up for every day you think of him. Each one is named something different, tied with a different memory you have of him. Lucy: for obvious reasons. Frosty: for the first time you started to see him as something other than a frenemy. Bambi: for the man of the hour himself. And your personal favorite, thumper: a fuzzy little cactus that resembles a rabbit’s tail. Thumper also marks the day that started it all, the chain reaction that led to you discovering just how much your e-boy neighbor meant to you. 

“Holy shit.” Jimin says, stepping into your apartment for the first time in a month. You’ve become a bit of a recluse, though you did apologize to him for shrugging him off when he was just trying to help you that day. The only time you do interact with people is when you go to class, the market or Jimin and Yoongi’s for game night. Other than that you just stay here alone, brewing in your self-made despair. “It’s like planet of the plants in here or something. Do I need to worry about you being a hoarder?” Jimin asks and you shrug.

“My mind kinda hyperfixated on succulents and the succulents remind me of him so I’ve been collecting them.” 

“Have you tried talking to him?” Jimin asks.

“He wouldn’t pick up my calls and Namjoon said he needed time so I stopped trying. I tried giving him an aloe plant like Cherry but he didn’t accept it.” You sigh, picking up the plant he discarded and brushing along its leaves. Bonjour-dubbed the word sprawled across the welcome mat- wilts a little when you touch it and you wonder if your sadness is infecting it. 

“This blows. Especially since it’s all over a misunderstanding.” 

“Has Jin mentioned anything about how he’s doing?” 

“I don’t think he’s faring much better. Jin has to take Lucy on her morning walks now because he barely wakes up in time for class. Apparently he’s taken up an interest in herbology though and is growing spices, wonder who he’s trying to remember.” Jimin nudges your shoulder and you roll your eyes. 

“He’s probably doing it for Jin as a birthday present or something.” You’d rather not get your hopes up. He’d have talked to you by now if he missed you right?

You evidently get your answer as a harsh pounding on your front door wakes you up and half-asleep and a little uncaring about who’s on the other side you throw it open. Sleepily you rub your eyes while wondering why whoever was so desperate to talk to you is suddenly silent when the haze in your mind clears enough to register Jungkook stands before you with a 10 things I hate about you dvd case clutched in his hand. His eyes are red-rimmed and his cheeks are tear stained making you instantly reach up to wipe them away before you retract. He probably doesn’t want you to touch him. “Did you mean it?” He croaks out and you stare at him confused. 

“Mean what?” 

“When you said what you hate about me did you mean it?” Your eyes flicker to the dvd in his hand and it clicks.

“I love you.” 10 things I hate about you be damned. You’re done with dancing around your feelings and painting them in fancy words. Sometimes as you’ve learned from Taehyung it’s better to just be blunt. 

“You- what?” 

“I love your smile and the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh. I love the little things about you like the mole on the bottom of your lip or the way you’re always humming a random tune. You tease me and piss me off but I’ve never wanted to kiss someone in my life more than you. This past month has been awful without you and I don’t think I can stand another minute without you. So call me a thief, call me thumper. Call me whatever you want as long as I’m yours.” He’s silent for a minute before the dvd case falls to the ground, his hands instead reaching up to cup both of your cheeks as he brings his mouth down onto your own. His lips are softer than you expected, fitting easily against your own as he presses them to yours tenderly despite the urgency behind his actions. Gently he parts your lips open to deepen the kiss and you sigh into him, pressing your body into his own wanting to feel his warmth. He only parts when you both need air, the two of you panting as you still stay close together. 

His breath fans your face as he places three gentle pecks to your lips, his head resting against your own. “I love you too thumper. I don’t think I’ve ever loved someone half as much as I love you.” 

“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. I wish I would’ve spoken to you sooner. And you know, for stealing your backpack.” 

“Aha! So you do admit you stole it!” He laughs, grinning as you attempt to shove him away only to pull you closer. “But I’m sorry too, I should’ve heard you out sooner. And I’m sorry for always calling you a thief.” 

“I already told you that was fine.” You laugh, leaning back to kiss the tip of his nose. 

“Yeah but I know you hated it. I only kept calling you it though because you stole my heart.” 

“Gross.” You fake gag, bending over to pretend to vomit. He giggles at your behavior, wrestling you closer to him as you try and turn around to walk away. “Who knew my boyfriend was so cheesy?” 

“Stop pretending you don’t love it.” He says, finally looking up and noticing the terrarium that is your apartment. “Why do you suddenly have so many plants?” 

“I got a succulent for every day I think of you.” You say, squealing when Jungkook attacks your sides. 

“And you said I was the cheesy one!” He screams, chasing after you to tickle you further when you finally break free. 

“Jimin our ship has finally sailed!” Seokjin whispers into the phone from next door. You and Jungkook had left your front door wide open, giving him a prime view as the two of you chased each other around, very much stupidly in love. 

#bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #btsboulangerie #ficswithluv #networkbangtan #taehyung fanfic #bts fanfiction #kim taehyung fanfic #bts taehyung #bts v #bts jungkook #bts imagine #bts fluff #bts angst #bts college au #jungkook college au #taehyung college au #jungkook fluff #taehyung fluff #jungkook angst #taehyung angst #park jimin #jeon jungkook fanfiction #jeon jungkook #min yoongi #kim namjoon #jung hoseok #kim seokjin #bts v fanfic

[georgemackayhey]

Rules For Falling In Love

FIC  SNEAK  PEAK!

Right, so here is a little taste of the fic I’ve been throwing together. The idea came from a brilliant friend who only requested a blurb and unknowingly provoked me to think up a whole entire plot. 

w/c: 400

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged! I’ll be posting the first chapter in a week or so!

───※ ·❆· ※───

"I think my sister has a point," George mumbled.

"Hmm?" You encouraged George to go on, halfway in tune to listen, more so gearing up to head to bed after such a long evening out. George remained silent as you kicked your shoes off, and didn't speak again until he had your undivided attention. 

"Let's get married." George said.

You tossed your head back in a laugh as you floated further into your home. 

"I'm serious, y/n." George hurried along, moving to stop you from walking away, boring his sleepy eyes into yours. 

"What?" You chuckled again, shaking your head, trying to keep up.

"We already live here. We've been talking about sharing a bank account. And it'll be so much easier to introduce as my wife than as 'my best friend who I live with but am not dating but go everywhere with.'"

"But that's the truth!" 

"Marriage could be true! Think of how much easier life would be."

"George, how much have you had to drink?" You cackled as you pushed past him, into the kitchen for a glass of water. You clattered about the counters as he followed you, rambling still.

"I'm serious! We've planned out our lives together already. Future vacations, birthday parties, career deadlines, all accounted for with each other in mind. We should just get married."

"George! I will not let you lie at the altar. A wedding is for two people who want to commit every bit of their lives together for the rest of the foreseeable future."

"My plans for the weekend are always to ask you what you want to do next. I'm your only emergency contact exclamation." George listed off these points as if they were dead giveaways.

"Okay, let's say we get married." You entertained, standing in front of George as he noshed on some deserts he'd brought home from the after-party. He raised a brow, waiting for you to go on. 

"Sure nothing changes at first, not really. You're already my ride to work, and I already promised to go to all those silly Hollywood parties with you. But what happens in five years when I want to move to France and you want to stay here? What happens in six months if some super hot mailman comes and sweeps me off my feet? What happens when you fall in love with some leading lady, George?"

"People get divorced all the time." He shrugged. 

"That's a lot of money to blow. And for what? For a lousy label and some ugly rings?"

"So we pick out some bloody cool rings and promise to only get divorced if shit hits the fan. Neither of us can stay mad for long. Remember when I spilled wine on your great grandma's old lounge chair? I was fully prepared to be excommunicated. But you just hugged me while you cried." George chuckled, keeping his desserts close.

"Do you really wanna kiss me in front of your mother and the world and pretend that this is normal?" You tried to ask with a serious glare, but it was just too funny. You couldn't help but let out a little giggle of disbelief that this was the conversation you were having on an otherwise normal weekday evening. 

"Y/n we're practically already married."

"George I love you, but this is a stupid idea."

───※ ·❆· ※───

#george mackay #george mackay x reader #george mackay imagine #george mackay fanfic

[scientificphilosopher]

Book List 2018

I’m a couple weeks behind on this, but here’s the list of books I read in 2018. I’ve broken it down by category, though this is pretty loose since, you know, genres bleed into one another and such. You can also find reviews of some of these books here, and I always take requests for reviews as well. Follow me on Goodreads to see what I’m reading and rating. 

Let me know what you think if you’ve read any of these books or have recommendations, and, as always, please feel free to send me malicious personal attacks if I say something you disagree with.

Non-Fiction

Philosophy

Pragmatism and Feminism: Reweaving the Social Fabric by Charlene Haddock Seigfried

The Pragmatic Turn by Richard J. Bernstein

Race Matters by Cornel West

Democracy Matters: Winning the Fight Against Imperialism by Cornel West

American Philosophy: A Love Story by John Kaag

Ethics Without Ontology by Hilary Putnam

Meaning in Life and Why It Matters by Susan Wolf

The Variety of Values: Essays on Morality, Meaning, and Love by Susan Wolf

The Really Hard Problem: Meaning in a Material World by Owen J. Flanagan

Meaning in Life by Thaddeus Metz

The Human Eros: Eco-Ontology and the Aesthetics of Existence by Thomas Alexander

Naturalism and Normativity by Mario De Caro (Editor), David Macarthur (Editor)

Truth in Context: An Essay on Pluralism and Objectivity by Michael P. Lynch

Teaching to Transgress: Education as the Practice of Freedom by bell hooks

The Origin of Others by Toni Morrison

Experiments in Ethics by Kwame Anthony Appiah

Ethics in the Real World: 86 Brief Essays on Things that Matter by Peter Singer

The Ethics of Ambiguity by Simone de Beauvoir

A Very Easy Death by Simone de Beauvoir

The Story of Philosophy: The Lives and Opinions of the World's Greatest Philosophers by Will Durant

Why Buddhism is True: The Science and Philosophy of Enlightenment by Robert Wright

A Defense of Buddhist Virtue Ethics by Jack Hamblin

Living Buddha, Living Christ by Thich Nhat Hanh

The Infidel and the Professor: David Hume, Adam Smith, and the Friendship That Shaped Modern Thought by Dennis C. Rasmussen

The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by Dalai Lama XIV, Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Carlton Abrams

Reality, Art and Illusion by Alan Watts

Democracy and Social Ethics by Jane Addams

Common Sense by Thomas Paine

From Bacteria to Bach and Back: The Evolution of Minds by Daniel C. Dennett

Science

Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst by Robert Sapolsky

The Rise and Fall of the Dinosaurs: A New History of a Lost World by Stephen Brusatte

Why Dinosaurs Matter by Kenneth Lacovara

I Contain Multitudes: The Microbes Within Us and a Grander View of Life by Ed Yong

The Evolution of Beauty: How Darwin's Forgotten Theory of Mate Choice Shapes the Animal World—And Us by Richard O. Prum

Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal by Mary Roach

Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife by Mary Roach

Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex by Mary Roach

She Has Her Mother's Laugh: The Powers, Perversions, and Potential of Heredity by Carl Zimmer

Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari

21 Lessons for the 21st Century by Yuval Noah Harari

Caesar's Last Breath: Decoding the Secrets of the Air Around Us by Sam Kean

Why Evolution is True by Jerry Coyne

What Is Real?: The Unfinished Quest for the Meaning of Quantum Physics by Adam Becker

Brief Answers to the Big Questions by Stephen Hawking

Seven Brief Lessons on Physics by Carlo Rovelli

The Physics of Time by Carlo Rovelli

Physics of the Impossible: A Scientific Exploration of the World of Phasers, Force Fields, Teleportation, and Time Travel by Michio Kaku

The Spinning Magnet: The Force That Created the Modern World--and Could Destroy It by Alanna Mitchell

Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space by Carl Sagan

Visions for the 21st Century by Carl Sagan et al.

The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer by Siddhartha Mukherjee

What the Dog Saw and Other Adventures by Malcolm Gladwell

The Soul of the Night: An Astronomical Pilgrimage by Chet Raymo

The Virgin and the Mousetrap: Essays in Search of the Soul of Science by Chet Raymo

Politics/Race/Gender

The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by bell hooks

Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay

Not That Bad: Dispatches from Rape Culture by Roxane Gay (editor)

Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Eloquent Rage: A Black Feminist Discovers Her Superpower by Brittney Cooper

Women & Power: A Manifesto by Mary Beard

The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin

I Am Not Your Negro by James Baldwin

The Origin of Others by Toni Morrison

Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption by Bryan Stevenson

Race Matters by Cornel West

Democracy Matters: Winning the Fight Against Imperialism by Cornel West

Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America by Ibram X. Kendi

The Souls of Black Folk by W.E.B. Du Bois

Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City by Matthew Desmond

Tears We Cannot Stand: A Sermon to White America by Michael Eric Dyson

What Truth Sounds Like: Robert F. Kennedy, James Baldwin, and Our Unfinished Conversation About Race in America by Michael Eric Dyson

White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo

White Trash: The 400-Year Untold History of Class in America by Nancy Isenberg

The Common Good by Robert Reich

Transgender History by Susan Stryker

Memoir

Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body by Roxane Gay

South of Forgiveness: A True Story of Rape and Responsibility by Thordis Elva

Letter to My Daughter by Maya Angelou

The Chicken Chronicles by Alice Walker

The Last Jew of Treblinka by Chil Rajchman

My Own Life by David Hume

Tough Shit: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good by Kevin Smith

Tibetan Peach Pie: A True Account of an Imaginative Life by Tom Robbins

Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass by Frederick Douglass

The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life and Freedom on Death Row by Anthony Ray Hinton

Black Klansman: Race, Hate, and the Undercover Investigation of a Lifetime by Ron Stallworth

Calypso by David Sedaris

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris

Ink Spots by Brian McDonald

No Time to Spare: Thinking About What Matters by Ursula K. Le Guin

History/Biography

Hidden Figures: The American Dream and the Untold Story of the Black Women Mathematicians Who Helped Win the Space Race by Margot Lee Shetterly

Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee: An Indian History of the American West by Dee Brown

The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair That Changed America by Erik Larson

Barracoon: The Story of the Last "Black Cargo" by Zora Neale Hurston

No god but God: The Origins, Evolution and Future of Islam by Reza Aslan

God: A Human History by Reza Aslan

One Nation Under God: How Corporate America Invented Christian America by Kevin M. Kruse

The Etymologicon: A Circular Stroll through the Hidden Connections of the English Language by Mark Forsyth

Quackery: A Brief History of the Worst Ways to Cure Everything by Lydia Kang 

Fiction

Literary Fiction

Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin

Another Country by James Baldwin

If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin

Blues for Mister Charlie by James Baldwin

Going to Meet the Man by James Baldwin

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

East of Eden by John Steinbeck

Bartleby the Scrivener by Herman Melville

Home by Toni Morrison

God Help the Child by Toni Morrison

The Yellow Wallpaper and Other Stories by Charlotte Perkins Gilman

Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee

The Dead by James Joyce

Ishmael: An Adventure of the Mind and Spirit by Daniel Quinn

Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett

The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain

A Confederacy of Dunces by Jonh Kennedy Toole

The Dork of Cork by Chet Raymo

Genre Fiction

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green

Slice of Life by Kurt Vonnegut

2BR02B by Kurt Vonnegut

The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin

I, Robot by Isaac Asimov

Foundation by Isaac Asimov

Annihilation by Jeff VanderMeer

Kindred by Octavia E. Butler

Bloodchild and Other Stories by Octavia E. Butler

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson

Pure Drivel by Steve Martin

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by J.K. Rowling

Pet Sematary by Stephen King

The Green Mile by Stephen King

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by Douglas Adams

Life, the Universe and Everything by Douglas Adams

The Bad Beginning: A Series of Unfortunate Events #1 by Lemony Snicket

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary by David Sedaris

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro

Worst of 2018

Every single book I read this past year had redemptive value. Even if it was total garbage, it still taught me some stuff (like how not to write a book). Even a bad book can be a good book if you let it be.

So, here’re a few books that didn’t quite hit the spot for me:

Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

Ishmael: An Adventure of the Mind and Spirit by Daniel Quinn

Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee

Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife by Mary Roach

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Ink Spots by Brian McDonald

The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair That Changed America by Erik Larson

Best of 2018

It was genuinely difficult to choose my top books of 2018. What a literary year it has been for me. 2018 marks the most books I’ve read in a year, and I was lucky enough to come across some real game-changers. I finally read the Harry Potter series and, boy howdy, did it ever live up to the hype. What took me so long?? But this was, more than anything, the year of James Baldwin. He has made an indelible mark on me as a reader, a writer, and a human. What a year this has been! I hope to read a fraction as much beautiful, lovely, challenging, profound prose in 2019. 

In no particular order, here are the books of 2018 that most moved me, shook me, rattled me, rolled me:

Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst by Robert Sapolsky

Teaching to Transgress: Education as the Practice of Freedom by bell hooks

The Pragmatic Turn by Richard J. Bernstein

Pragmatism and Feminism: Reweaving the Social Fabric by Charlene Haddock Seigfried

The Ethics of Ambiguity by Simone de Beauvoir

What Is Real?: The Unfinished Quest for the Meaning of Quantum Physics by Adam Becker

Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space by Carl Sagan

The Soul of the Night: An Astronomical Pilgrimage by Chet Raymo

The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin

Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption by Bryan Stevenson

Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body by Roxane Gay

Well, there you have it, folks. Here’s to many more good books in the years to come! 

The unread story is not a story; it is little black marks on wood pulp. The reader, reading it, makes it live: a live thing, a story. —Ursula K. Le Guin

#reading list #2018 #nich #reading #books #writing #long post #long

[ashleaannya]

The 2200, Chapter 1

Everything for Kamiya started with a deep breath. She took a deep breath before writing her hit single “Marketplace,” an semi-autobiographical Indy rock ballad about how men (her exes) treated women’s bodies like a grocery store. It was a hit. “It resonated” was how Billboard described her riffs and runs about feeling like, quote, a “man’s meat market”, with no say in how she should be loved. That was five years, two Grammy’s and three tours ago. She still took a deep breath before approaching the microphone, before recording herself in the studio, and before giving her fans the BTS (Behind The Scenes) content her 35 million fans craved—no, demanded.

           “Let’s do this,” Kamiya said to her herself, breathing deeply and sitting on the goose feather bed in her presidential hotel suite. She adjusted her DSLR camera to better frame her upper body and flipped the lamps on the hotel suite’s end tables. The tripod creaked with newness as she made the micro-adjustments to get her and her hotel suite backdrop in perfect focus. It was a little dark, but it would fit the mood she was about to create for her fans.

           Her phone pinged and vibrated beside her as another thousand comments on her social media rang through. Text messages burst through as people who wanted her money, attention or both made their voices heard in all capital letters, exclamation points and emojis. Without looking away from the camera flip screen, Kamiya reached beside her and powered her phone off. She glanced over at her hotel door, looking at the silk and gold furnishings and designer dresses hanging on a rolling rack. Rows of flowers from athletes, and fellow musicians wanting to sleep with her wilted on a glass dining table designed to seat twelve. No one ever ate there. It was a reservoir for gifts and miscellaneous stuff. She lived in this room now. The floor of this hotel was more her space more than the three homes she paid ghastly mortgages. Kamiya’s eyes lingered on the cream colored double doors, making sure it was locked. What she was about to do would cause her team to beat her door off the antique hinges. By then it would be too late.

           The camera’s light flickered and then settled on a bright amber. Kamiya knotted her fingers in her lap seeing the word “REC” blink in the upper corner of the screen. It was time. She had already left written, detailed instructions for her manager, accounting team, design team, social media team, and news outlets she wanted to break the story. The courier would deliver her instructions in exactly one hour. The timing mattered. Her wishes were explicit and once her video aired, the necessary parties would have no choice but to honor her demands. There would be nothing to second-guess. The video especially would be very clear. She practiced how she would do it and even recorded herself doing mock versions of the act to make sure she would not loose her nerve.

           “You got this, Miya.”

           Kamiya also knew that nothing else “groundbreaking” would be going on in the social media sphere that would distract from her message. The good thing about being connected was other celebrities in her circle and members of famous teams (say a stylists or nanny) told her what dates to avoid. For example, when Kamiya’s second album was set to drop on Sept 1st, a friend of a friend whispered that she should not use that date because TMZ was about to report on an impending divorce. Divorces in her world were common enough, but this divorce was a megachurch pastor and there was digital evidence the break-up of his marriage was due to a transgendered mistress who had a massive social media following. Needless to say, she changed the date. Her album release would have been overshadowed and her release week would have been abysmal. She released a week earlier to the delight of her voracious following and debuted at number one on the Pop charts. The same connections would today make sure her choice went viral. This was her one life. She should get to live her life on her own terms. A tear fell down her cheeks, realizing that her freedom was on the other side of this post. She would have her body back, her mind, her music, her voice. Should she go live instead? That way people knew it was real.

           Kamiya jumped up off the bed and grabbed her laptop. She would record both. Just in case.

           “Hey guys,” Kamiya said, waving at the screen.

           The numbers in her Live Chat jumped from 300 to 3,000 to 2 million instantly. Kamiya swallowed. Her mouth was dry and her hands were damp with sweat. Texts jumped up on the bottom of the screen as her followers flooded the Live Chat with emojis, declarations of love, and sexual comments that would make a porn star blush.

           “Whoa, whoa, guys, this is going to be quick so I can’t answer a million questions right now—um, guys, whoa, um, no, no I can’t do a video chat with anyone. Thank you though that went bad last time,” Kamiya said, laughing awkwardly.

           She glanced up to make sure her camera was still recording. It was.

           “Ok. I have an announcement. I wanted to record it and make it all fancy, but my career started here, right?”

           Thumbs up emojis and hearts flooded the screen in unison. She smiled and tears pricked at her eyes, but she coughed and rubbed her eyes into her sleeves. People were commenting about how they had followed her since abandoned building days.

           “Wow, that’s a throwback. Um, for those who don’t know, let me explain all of the abandoned buildings comments.”

           Kamiya sat up and twisted her long curly extensions in around her fingers. She dug her nails into her spray-tanned legs, leaving pink nail marks. She was already black, but her team told her, going a shade darker would make her skin look even and was the ideal skin tone for her audience.

           “Ok. So most of the videos have been deleted because, well, I was fat then.”

           That comment was met with encouraging remarks and angry emojis. She felt relieved at that response. Then as if reading her mind, onscreen comments appeared. Some people were proud of her ‘healthy weight loss journey’. This pride flooded the comments. She ignored them. She was thin now with the dimensions of a doll, narrow waist and all. She ate 400 calories per day and had more cosmetic surgeries than a Kardashian. She was discrete about them and timed everything so it looked more believable, but nothing was healthy about her new body.

           “Um, yea. I actually started on social media for singing in abandoned buildings with my sister. She would record me singing in old churches and subways and other random places that were technically condemned but had great acoustics. That’s how I build my fan base and YouTube channel. A lot of people think it was from Marketplace, my first single, but I didn’t get attention until after my Abandoned Concerts page went viral or whatever.”

           The comments zoomed by so fast she could barely ready them. The emojis were all wide-mouthed shocked faces and then there were demands for her to post the old videos. Kamiya shook her head and laughed. She did not want to see her old body ever again. Kamiya froze seeing a familiar handle enter the Live Chat. It was @Camera_Cat, her sister. She was in the hotel lobby grabbing dinner and would likely be banging on her door at any moment. Everyone knew that Kamiya hated going live so Cat would be giving her the Catrina patent “WTF” face.

           “Okay, guys, real quick. I have an announcement,” Kamiya said, straightening her back and lowering her voice. She had to say this seriously or people would think she was playing a game. As you all know, I hate social media and, like, hardly ever post, because—well, let’s keep this all the way real, okay. You guys are trash.”

           Question marks and angry and shocked emojis flooded the screen at lightning speed. Kamiya smirked ready to drop every bomb in her arsenal before the grand finale.

           “Yes, you are. Half of you lie to yourself and to others every day and will never accomplish your dreams because you are inconsistent and talentless. There. Now you know.”

           Kamiya jumped hearing rapid knocking on her hotel room. She pulled her laptop closer and swallowed. She could hear her sister calling her name.

           “I don’t care if it hurts your feelings. It’s true. You aren’t loyal to yourself or your dreams so why should I expect you to be loyal to me or care about my mental health. I have done so much and sacrificed so much to make you bastards happy. I’m literally so damn lost right now I barely recognize myself. I hate having you guys around me.”

           Some of the comments were consolatory and others were curses and name-calling. Kamiya did not care. She was right and she would show them.

           “If half of you were forced to be honest about how jealous you are of my life before you could comment on my posts, you would never hate on me. You hate me because your dreams are dead and your work ethic is trash. Do you have any idea what I go through to be here. I’m supposed to be nice to you hateful bitches when you are all collective trash.”

           The banging on the door sounded like thunder. Muffled yelling echoed outside of the room. The voices were getting louder and Kamiya was glad the deadbolt was on because her sister and manager had keys to her room. Well, technically, they could access her room through the hotel app. The app could not work against a deadbolt and an old fashioned chain.

           “I’m being honest when I say I hate most of you. I wish you never heard of me. I wish I never shared my music with you. You don’t deserve me. I give so much to you people. You people who are supposed to be the woke generation. I hope you die alone.”

           Kamiya sat back and watching as the number of people watching her quadrupled. Screenshots of her and clips of her ‘rant’ would be viral in seconds. She smiled ready for the final blow.

           “Effective immediately, my social media is closed. My website is closed. My brands are closed. I am closed. You hear me? You no longer have access to me. You all have officially been fired from being my fans.”

           The word ‘no’ with about a hundred Os flooded the screen, followed by side-eye emojis and comments about her going crazy.

           “There is one exception,” Kamiya took a deep breath. “Moving forward, I am only accessible to 2200 loyal fans. I will hand select these people. If you look at my main page now, you will see that no one is following me and I am following no one. You will also notice that all of my posts are now gone. In one hour, my page will be private, so get your screen shots now. Yes, I’m talking to you Shade Room.”

           The number of people watching her, now exceeding the number of followers she had ever had on any platform. Tears pricked her eyes realizing she finally had their attention. The same question kept popping up: “How do I join the 2200?”

           “You don’t join. I choose you.”

           Kamiya slammed the laptop closed and fell backward on the overstuffed pillows of her European king bed. Phase one was complete. Now on to phase two.

#writing #creativewriting #writers #writeblr #writing-prompt #excerpt from a story i'll never write #writeaway #story #storytelling

[wangtaeil]

i’ve had an epiphany and have finally figured out the problem i’m having with this account recently...

i’ve always struggled with a bit of an inferiority complex and thats what i’m dealing with right now. it doesnt matter what i do or make or any idea i have, it passes by underneath the radar here and thats fine. but then the exact same thing gets done or made or idea’ed a few hours, days, a week later by someone else and it seems to be seen as the thing thats gonna save the fandom. it makes me feel like i’m just not good enough and it also makes me jealous of the people getting the attention

i’ve realised that this is exactly why i stopped being a creator in other fandoms. so does this mean i should stop being an ateez creator? do i cut my losses with x1 before they even debut or my victon/up10tion/myteen blog to save myself feeling like this again?

another thing that gets me down far more often than it should is that like... i have almost 3,700 followers and never get any kind of interaction unless i initiate it. i see people i know have less followers than that answering ask after ask, both just random and from games and i’m like... why does nobody want to talk to me? am i no fun to converse with? am i boring? when i approach someone first do they only answer because they feel like they have to? i dont get tagged in posts of my faves, have i been forgotten? and then if i do get interaction, i doubt whether its genuine or because whoever sent it just doesnt wanna see yet another post on their dash from me complaining about being sad and lonely 

i never used to be like this. i used to have confidence, be outgoing and not care about other people’s opinions.i used to be fun. i had that all taken away from me by an ex and no matter what i do i’m probably never getting it back. but thats not what this is about

maybe i just expect too much. when i started being an ateez creator, i was getting 300+ notes on everything i did and had those few days when everyone wanted to interact. i struggle to reach 75 notes on most things now while still thinking that 300 or even 400 is an easy target. the fandom grew and the amount of creators did too. but tumblr is in this weird phase right now where nobody will reblog, only hit the like. which is cool, its nice to be liked, but it stops work being seen, combined with the ever growing list of ways tumblr itself is actively stopping content being seen (add “removing posts which previous appeared from the tags a day after posting” to the list). and in a complete contradiction to the fandom and amount of creators growing, atinyblr is somehow completely dead. it doesnt make any sense

at the end of the day, i wanna make gifs and graphics, but its just starting to feel like someone else can and will do it better and i’ll ultimately just be forgotten

#ehhh #if anyone reads this then thank you #you didnt have to #i just needed to get it out of my dumb head

[moonstones-and-stardust]

Hello lovelies, I've come up with a little list of things that should help keep you safe in general. I know it's stupid that we have to take these measures, but the only real monsters in the world are people. Watch out for each other and watch out for number one.  So here is some of my general advice.

Listen to how someone talks about other people. Cashiers, wait staff, burger flippers, other religions (if they have one), exes. The point is if they're mean with no reason to be. Kick em. And do not argue that it's just a bad day. People show startlingly true colors when they're angry.

If someone is interrupting you, pressuring you to do something you don't want to, or acting physically aggressive they are no goes. If you bring it up to them and they correct themselves then they're unknowing. But if they dismiss your opinion that's a fuck no.

Feel like you're being followed? Then stay in a crowded area. If the person following you doesn’t leave then go into a police station if it's safe for you. If not then find someone in a group, tell them your situation and ask if you can stay for a while. These people generally go after anyone who's quiet, alone, or not paying attention.

Reverse goes if you feel like someone else is being followed.  Go over to them and speak up. Tell them what you've seen.

For fuck's sake listen to your instincts. We have them for a reason, we still have them for a reason. If you feel like something is off then gtfo.

Carry your phone, charged, at all times. Even if you need to bring along a little portable power cell. Make sure you have a means of communication.

Pepper spray/ whatever legal alternative there is for you in your area. Learn defense. Just, make sure you have the means to be safe. There are a lot of assholes out there.

If you're going out with a friend/potential partner for the first time. Meet them somewhere in public, have a friend that knows where you are, and have a backup text/call plan. (code words for 'get me the fuck out of here' are useful). Or go in a group with someone you trust.

Never put your phone number on social media. Ever.

If someone wants to take you out, then make sure you have your own form of transportation back car/uber/train/friend. If they're giving you bad vibes don't isolate yourself with them. And do not give them your address.

Memorize a fake phone number and use it if someone is being aggressive about getting a number. There has been a trick going around. Some people will read a number, then read it back to you with one or two numbers off. If you confirm the wrong number then they'll try to call you on it. Be prepared for dicks.

For young relationships keep personal information personal. Your own bank account, your own card number, your own place. Even after you're in a relationship with someone keep your own records and an account for yourself.

If someone is pressuring you to move too fast in a relationship then tell them to knock it off. If they ignore you then get rid of them. Same goes for if they start trying to seperate you from your family and friends. "I don't like them." or "I feel uncomfortable with you hanging out with them." Are common techniques. IF SOMEONE HITS YOU ONCE AND PROMISES NEVER TO DO IT AGAIN, ABUSERS CAN RANGE FROM ALL OUT ABUSE TO SOMETIMES. ONE AND DONE. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT IF YOU'RE ABUSED.

If someone can't give you your space or trust you with friends of the gender you find attractive. Then you need to have a serious talk about boundaries, security and respect. You shouldn't compromise in a relationship.  you should collaborate.  Relationships are meant to be an extension of happiness, not compromising parts of yourself.

Always have a god damned designated driver. Uber's can be sketchy sometimes. Keep your trusted friends close.

This one is important. If someone other than wait staff brings you unsealed food or drinks then it's dead to you. You don't know what they could have put in it. Don't risk it.

Have a bug out bag. Seriously this might sound silly but have a bag full of the essentials and a place to go last minute.  If things turn dangerous at home then go somewhere safe that they can't find you. If you need to return to a house for essentials then take the police with you.

Always keep receipts of ownership on big things that are yours.

If your significant other or potential partner won't take care of themselves and expects you to do it all for them. No matter what then they are not worth it. Infentile behavoir is not cute.  Talk about chores, talk about bills, talk about things. And I'm not saying it's bad if you like doing this kind of thing, but your spouse should help. And if you're stay at home while one spouse works then talk about it. These things can be overwhelming sometimes.

A little piece of advice for saving on money, shop around. At the grocery store, look at generalized brands and not name, they're usually cheaper and sometimes better quality. Thrift stores and second time around places at the dump can be treasure troves, same goes for yard sales. Penny pinching is sadly often essential, know your options.

Always do your own research on a topic. Check sources and check all you can. If something doesn't feel right you're either sheltered or someone is potentially lying.

If you're able to then get your god damn vaccinations.

If you have the opportunity, then you might want to get a backup phone, some phones are only 50-100 dollars at your local big market store. Usually unlocked so the plan is seperate. But the idea is you have an extra backup computer/phone/way to contact others in emergencies if your phone is stolen/confiscated/ broken.

Bank accounts are good, but also remember paypal cards are free and all you need is a valid address and name. They also should be able to get direct deposit, and they should be able to work at atm's. I believe the current daily withdrawel limit is 400 dollars us.

You can buy/reload an amazon card and use that if you don't have a card in your name.

If you have a car, stock up on things you might need. Kitty litter for if you get stuck in snow, a first aid kit, tire jack/lever and the know how to change a tire, maybe a thermal blanket, change of clothes, tampons/pads, some canned food, water and a self jumper. Sure it might seem a little extreme but it's better safe than sorry. Also, look into triple a if it's a thing where you live. These guys can be lifesavers.

Know your rights.

Know if you are witin 100 miles of a border in the united states, this counts if you're near the ocean as well.

Budgeting is your friend.

Get solar/battery powered lights and chargers if your power goes out.

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior March 6, 2020 – ONWARD, THE WAY BACK, EMMA and MUCH More!

Thankfully, February ended pretty well as The Invisible Man fell just shy of my abridged $30 million opening prediction, but still, $29 million is pretty damn good, and the movie’s “B+” CinemaScore makes me think that it will do pretty well going into March even with another Blumhouse genre film opening next week. Oh, yeah, and A Quiet Place Part 2. Anyway, next week is next week. Let’s get to this week…

March kicks off with ONWARD, the latest animated movie from Disney’s Pixar Animation division, which his coming off its 10th Oscar in the Animated Feature category last month, as it launches its 23rd movie over the course of 25 years. It’s pretty amazing how far Pixar has come since it was launched with John Lasseter’s Toy Story way back in 1995, the company having amassed $6 billion in North America alone and $14.4 billion worldwide.

Onward is the new movie from Monsters University director Dan Scanlon, a fantasy involving two elf brothers, voiced by Tom Holland and Chris Pratt, who go on a quest to find magic that will help them bring back their dead father. The movie also features the voices of Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, Tracey Ullman, Lena Waithe, Octavia Spencer, Ali Wong and Mel Rodriguez.

This is Pixar’s first original movie since Coco in 2017, but it’s also the first movie released by the studio outside of the profitable summer and holiday box office seasons. It’s certainly a departure, but this will also be the third time where there are two Pixar movies in the same year. The last time this happened was in 2015 when the summer release Inside Out was another $350 million hit but it led to the November release of The Good Dinosaur, which to date is still Pixar’s lowest grosser even compared to 1998’s A Bug’s Life.  Good Dinosaur opened with just $39 million over the normally-lucrative Thanksgiving weekend and only grossed $123 million domestic. The March release might make some wonder if Onward isn’t one of Pixar’s stronger offerings. (Pete Docter’s Soulis getting the studio’s higher profile summer release, but that’s what comes when you turn original movies like Up and Inside Out into blockbuster hits without the benefits of being a sequel.)

Having big stars like Pratt and Holland providing the main voices might normally help, especially in terms of getting publicity for the movie, although Holland just provided his voice for Fox’s animated Spies in Disguise with an equally big star like Will Smith and that only grossed $66 million after opening last Christmas.

A last-minute boost for Onward might come from the fact that it’s preceded by a brand new “The Simpsons” short, another benefit from the massive purchase of Fox and its properties by Disney last year. That and the Pixar brand should drive business opening weekend, which should be good for roughly $50 million even with stronger family films like Call of the Wild and Sonic the Hedgehog, which will step aside to give Onward the required berth. I’m not sure Onwardwill achieve the $200 million benchmark of other non-Pixar sequels but it should be good for around $160 to 170 million with a bump from schools having spring break in March. (I’m not going to start presuming that the current corona scare might impact moviegoing, at least not just yet, although it’s something that needs to be kept in mind.)

Having not seen Onward yet, I don’t have that much more to say, but I have good news, and it’s that I’ve been invited to see Disney’s Mulan, so a.) I’ll have a review for you, and b.) I’ll hopefully have more insightful thoughts on that movie’s box office since I’ll have seen it.

The other wide release this weekend is the second team-up between Ben Affleck and director Gavin O’Connor, following their 2016 hit The Accountant. Unlike that thriller, THE WAY BACK (Warner Bros.) is more of an inspirational drama about a man trying to overcome addiction to find redemption.  Affleck plays Jack Cunningham, a former high school basketball star struck down by alcoholism, who is given another chance to coach his old high school basketball team. The drama comes from whether he can overcome his demons to find redemption. It wouldn’t be a particularly inspirational movie if he doesn’t.

Oddly,The Way Back is a far more common type of March release than Onward but it is also Affleck’s second attempt at a comeback, having recovered from the bombs of the mid-00s to find favor as a director with the Oscar Best Picture winner Argo, which followed a decent-sized hit with 2010’s The Town. Unfortunately, Affleck’s 2016 movie Live By Night bombed really badly, countering the success he had as Batman in Zack Snyder’s Batman v Supermanand in 2016’s The Accountant, which grossed $86.3 million. The fact that Justice League made $100 million less than Batman v Superman got Affleck replaced by Robert Pattinson in Matt Reeves’ The Batman, due out next year, so Affleck definitely has something to prove with this movie.

Besides reuniting Affleck and O’Connor, The Way Back also has a chance to draw in older males by being set in the world of basketball, as we’ve seen movies like Coach Carter, starring Samuel L. Jackson, open big with $24.8 million over the MLK Jr. weekend in 2005. On the other hand, Disney opened the basketball drama Glory Road, starring Josh Lucas, on the same weekend and that opened with half that amount. O’Connor is no stranger to inspirational feel-good sports movies having directed Disney’s Miracle about the 1980 US hockey team, which ended up grossing $64 million after a $19 million opening in 2004. Obviously, these are all movies that are nearly 15 years old, and it’s harder to find more recent sports hits unless you look to the world of faith-based dramas, and maybe Warner Bros. hopes that crowd will be out for this story of redemption.

I wish I had more confidence in this film, although I generally have never been a very big Affleck fan, and I’m not sure if this is the kind of movie that will entice older males in the same way as The Accountant (which I didn’t like, mind you). I’d like to think that the movie can do somewhere in the range of Thunder Road’s $13 million opening, but I have a feeling that this will end up closer to $10 to 11 million this weekend and will have to rely on word-of-mouth if it wants to maintain business through a month with a lot of strong offerings to come.

Mini-Review: On paper, The Way Back would seem like a very obvious movie, both for Ben Affleck and also for director Gavin O’Connor, who has dealt with inspirational sports movies and those seeking redemption. (Warrior is still one of my favorite films he’s made to date.)

We meet Affleck’s Jack Cunningham as he’s still on a low after splitting from his wife (Janina Gavankar) with a beer can always in hand, although we won’t find out what happened until much later. Out of the blue, Jack is called by the pastor of Bishop Hayes Catholic high school where Jack was the big star destined for greatness decades earlier. Even though he hasn’t touched a ball since then, Jack takes on the challenge of trying to turn things around for the worst team in the league. At the same time, he tries to help a few individual players and not get on the bad side of the chaplin with his constant swearing.

This is a great vehicle for Affleck and O’Connor, working from a script by Brad Ingelsby, whose screenplay for last year’s American Woman was another nice surprise. Affleck really has never been better in a role that allows him to pull from his own addiction and marital issues to create a fully-rounded character. The way O’Connor shoots the basketball games and the progress of the team keeps things exciting.

The only significant problem with the movie is that the first 2/3rds of it seems like two separate movies, one involving Jack trying to bring Bishop Hayes back from being the worst team in the league and the other being Jack’s alcohol problems. The two sides of the movie rarely intersect for a good chunk of the movie.

The real surprises come in the film’s last act where we think everything is going great and can’t imagine things could get bad again for Jack… and of course, they do. I won’t say about how and what happens, but when you’ve spent the whole movie watching him do something so inspiring, it’s a little deflating to be brought back down to reality.

Sure, The Way Back may be predictable (to a point) but it’s a damn good version of the movie that you’re expecting, offering a big-time tug on the heart strings. Rating: 8/10

Hitting theaters nationwide this weekend – roughly 1,500 theaters -- is the new Jane Austen adaptation EMMA. (Focus Features), starring Anya Taylor-Joy and Bill Nighy. The movie has done pretty well platforming, but it will be a tougher sell as it expands into regions outside major cities, so the per-theater average will fall quite a lot since last weekend. I think it should be good for $2 to 3 million which will allow it to place in the top 10 but we’ll have to see how it fares before expecting much more of an expansion.

Also, Sony Pictures Classics is planning to expand Michael Winterbottom’s Greed, starring Steve Coogan, into a nationwide release, but who knows if that’s 400 theaters, 500 theaters or more? (UPDATE: Theater count is confirmed at 596 so I’m sticking with my earlier prediction of $1.2 million.) I’m not sure they should go very wide with a $7,124 per-theater average this past weekend (worse than Searchlight’s Wendy), so I don’t think it will make enough to crack the top 10 this weekend even with a fairly low entry point.

This week’s Top 10 should look something like this…

1. Onward (Disney-Pixar) - $51 million N/A

2. The Invisible Man (Universal) - $16.3 million -44%

3. The Way Back (Warner Bros.) - $10.5 million N/A

4. Sonic the Hedgehog  (Paramount) - $8.5 million

5. The Call of the Wild (20thCentury) - $6.8 million

6. Emma. (Focus Features) - $3 million +71% (up .8 million)*

7. My Hero Academia: Heroes Rising (FUNimation) - $2.7 million

8. Bad Boys for Life (Sony) - $2.4 million

9. Harley Quinn: Birds of Prey  (Warner Bros) - $2.3 million

10. The Impractical Jokers Movie (TruTV) - $1.6 million -55%

-- Greed (Sony Pictures Classics) - $1.2 million

*UPDATE: Keeping most of my predictions the same except that I’m giving a little bump to Focus’ Emma, since it should act as decent counter-programming to the other new movies.

LOCAL FESTIVALS

The big festival kicking off in New York this week is the annual “Rendezvous with French Cinema” up at Film at Lincoln Center, which runs from this Thursday through March 15. It kicks off on Thursday with Hirokazu Kore-eda’s first French language film The Truth as the opener with stars Juliette Binoche and Ethan Hawke introducing the film at 6:30pm after doing a separate conversation earlier (only standby available for the conversation and early screening but tickets available for the 9:15pm screening sans introduction). I’ll probably write more about this next week when it gets its limited release, but the two actors play a couple who come to France to spend time with her actress mother Fabienne (played by the amazing Catherine Deneuve) who is publishing her contentious memoirs. The other movie I’ve seen which I liked a little more is Quentin Dupieux’s quirky Deerskin, starring Jean Dujardin (The Artist), which also opens theatrically this month. I wasn’t able to catch Alice Winocour’s Proxima, starring Eva Green and Matt Dillon, but hopefully that will be one of the films that finds distribution, as many of the “Rendezvous” offerings, this festival might be the only time to see them.  Other returning filmmakers include Cédric Klapisch, Bruno Dumont, as well as Christophe Honoré’s On a Magical Night with Cannes winner Chiara Mastoianni in attendance, plus more. Click on the link above for the full rundown.

LIMITED RELEASES

This is a pretty decent for limited release, so if you’re in New York or L.A. and have already seen some of the expanding movies or aren’t interested in the new wide releases, you have a LOT of other options… and that’s even before we get to the repertory stuff below. There are just way too many limited releases coming out the next couple weekends.

I’m gonna do something a little different this week. Instead of picking just one “Featured Movie,” I’m gonna go with a “Featured Theater” since two decent movies are opening at New York’s Film Forum this coming week. (Plus it begins a new Hitchcock series, which you can read about in the repertory section below.)

We’ll begin with SORRY WE MISSED YOU (Zeitgeist/Kino Lorber) – opening at Film Forum Weds. and in L.A. at the Landmark Nuart on Friday. It’s the new film from director Ken Loach, who has an amazing filmography of British “kitchen sink” dramas but also great historical films like The Wind That Shakes the Barley. Loach’s last film I, Daniel Blake was in my top 5 a few years back and Sorry I Missed You is very much a follow-up, once again dealing with Brits struggling with the system to make a living. In this case, it’s Kris Hitchen’s Ricky Turner and his wife Abbie (Debbie Honeywood) as he signs on for a “zero-hour” job delivering packages, a system that requires working longer hours. Meanwhile, Abbie is working just as hard as a home care worker. As they struggle to make a living, their teenage son is skipping school and getting into trouble.

Although as a freelance writer, I could definitely relate to the idea of having to work extra-hard in order to earn enough money to survive, especially in the jobs I was doing getting paid by piece which was never helpful in making ends meet. Seeing how the package delivery industry in northern England is used to take advantage of individuals is partially what keeps things interesting.  Like The Way Back, you sort of expect things to get bad for Ricky, especially in regards to his son, but there’s a certain point where you think he’s gonna crash his van cause he’s so exhausted. It doesn’t happen but what happens next is almost worse than that. Either way, it’s another decent movie from Loach (and regular writer Paul Laverty), maybe not as good as I, Daniel Blake but still worthwhile.

From China comes THE WILD GOOSE LAKE (Film Movement), the new film from Daio Yinan (Black Coal, Thin Ice), which is quite a different film for Mr. Yinan, starring Hu Ge as mob leader Zhou Zenong, who gets into a feud with another local gang leader, ends up killing a police officer in the ensuing mayhem and ends up hiding out in the area of Wuhan known as Wild Goose Lake, becoming entangled with Gwei Lun-Mei’s Liu. This is another interesting take on the crime noir genre from Zenong, one that maybe gets a little more artsy-fartsy than Black Coal but one that also veers further into genre territory, particularly with some of the violence and bloodshed involved. It offers further proof that Yinan is a true master of cinematic storytelling since it’s so unlike the many other Chinese crime films that have come from both Hong Kong and the mainland. This one is quite the film, although I still recommend seeking out Black Coal if you ever have the chance. This one will open at the Film Forum on Friday. (While you’re going to the Film Forum, check out Corneliu Porumbiou’s crime-thriller The Whistlers, which I watched over the weekend, and it’s quite different from many other Romanian films I’ve seen, not only because it’s under 2 hours.)

Next up is THE BURNT ORANGE HERESY (Sony Pictures Classics), Giuseppe Capotondi’s adaptation of Charles Willeford’s book, starring Claes Bang from The Square and The Girl in the Spider’s Web as art critic James Figueras, who is giving lectures in Italy when he meets Elizabeth Debicki’s Berenice. It’s a meeting that turns into a fast relationship that has them both in bed, and when James is called to the mansion of a rich Italian art lover named Cassidy (played by Mick Jagger), he brings Berenice along with him. Once there, James learns that Cassidy has become the benefactor for reclusive artist Jerome Debney, played by Donald Sutherland, whose entire body of work was destroyed in a fire. Cassidy has gotten James an exclusive interview with Debney with the condition that he gets one of Debney’s in-demand paintings out of the deal. I’m not really a fine art fanatic nor have I read Willeford’s book, but I found this to be an interesting dramatic thriller in the vein of The Talented Mr. Ripley as you watch this cat-and-mouse game being played between the characters. Sutherland is pretty awesome as Debney, who flirts with Berenice while playing mind games with James, and the way these dynamics play out is what makes this film better than other art-driven films. As you watch this movie, you’ll probably realize that Claes Bang really should be playing a James Bond villain and then Mick Jagger appears on screen with him and you REALLY think that Jagger should have played a Bond villain anytime in the last few decades as he’s great at playing devious. This is another great release from Sony Classics in a year where they seem to be turning things around from the last couple years. So far, besides this, I’ve also liked Greed, The Traitor and The Climb, which will be released later this month.

Having been delayed from its intended December release due to many controversies, George (The Adjustment Bureau) Nolfi’s THE BANKER (Apple+) will finally hit select theaters for a few weeks before launching on Apple+ on March 20. It stars Anthony Mackie as Bernard Garrett, a young genius growing up black pre-Civil Rights and dealing with the Jim Crow racism in his hometown of Texas, so he moves to Los Angeles and becomes heavily involved in the real estate business. Eventually, he finds a partner in Samuel L. Jackson’s Joe Morris, a club owner with money and a good amount of real estate experience himself. Slowly, they begin buying up buildings in downtown L.A. using the ambitious white Max Steiner (Nicholas Hoult) as their frontman, while letting affluent black people in to build a community and Bernard decides it’s time to buy the bank in his old Texas hometown. That’s where things start going wrong, but I won’t get too deep into the story. This is a decent film from Nolfi with particularly strong performances from Mackie and Jackson, as well as Nia Long as Garrett’s wife. It’s very reminiscent of Spike Lee’s BlackKklansman with a similar level of humor despite being about a serious subject. It does hit a bit of a lull when the story moves back to Texas and the trio’s dealings with the banks, and it gets a little bogged down in all the numbers, but it does end up delivering a decent true-life story that will be of interest.

Kelly Reichardt’s latest period piece is FIRST COW (A24), set in the Pacific Northwest during the time of the Gold Rush as a cook (John Magaro) encounters a Chinese immigrant (Orion Lee) in the Oregon Territory and the two of them hatch a money-making scheme to sell biscuits using stolen milk from a local landowner’s prized cow. Although I have not really been a fan of Reichardt’s work, even her historic film Meek’s Cutoff, I think with this movie she really finds her footing with two great actors/characters and a story that’s fairly intriguing in its own right. I wasn’t too crazy with how the film ended (foreshadowed by the film’s opening framing device) but it’s one of Reichardt’s few films where I didn’t get bored or lose interest, so that’s certainly sayin’ something. What’s even more impressive is that two local theaters (BAM, MOMI) held repertory series in conjunction with the release of First Cow and apparently, other cities are doing the same.

From Brazil comes BACURAU (Kino Lorber), Kleber Mendonça Filho and Juliano Dornelles’s odd genre film that’s based around a small village in the Brazilian equivalent of the Outback, a remote place whose matriarch Carmelita has just passed away at the age of 94. There are forces at work trying to drive the villagers out of their homes, including putting a dam to cut off their water supply, but things get stranger when a nearby farmer and his family end up dead, which leads to a twist that takes the film directly into genre territory. I don’t want to say too much about what happens but it involves Udo Kier and a lot of weapons… Bacurau opens at the IFC Center downtown and Film at Lincoln Center uptown (with QnAs at the latter, which is also holding a “Mapping Bacurau” series starting March 13.)

Carlo Mirabella-Davis’ SWALLOW (IFC Films) stars Haley Bennett as a newly-pregnant housewife married to her perfect husband Richie (Austin Stowell, who recently appeared in Fantasy Island), but as she tries to please him and his parents, she starts developing a dangerous habit in the form of a disorder called pica that has her compulsively swallowing inedible objects. Okay, then. It will open at the IFC Center, the Laemmle Monica Film Center and as well as On Demand and digital. Bennett won an award for her acting at last year’s Tribeca Film Festival, but I somehow missed it.

Next, we have a trio of films opening at New York’s Village East Cinema and a few other theaters both in New York and select cities:

I really wanted to like Mike Ahern and Enda Loughman’s Irish horror-comedy EXTRA ORDINARY (GDE) more, since the trailer really made it seem like something I might enjoy. In the movie, Maeve Higgins plays Rose, a smalltown driving instructor who has supernatural talents who is called upon by Barry Ward’s Martin Martin, whose daughter is being used by a former rock star (played by Will Forge) who needs a virgin to commit a Satanic pact to regain his fame. The movie just seemed rather silly and not nearly as funny as the trailer makes it seem, but maybe it would be better seing it with an audience.

Another movie that looks good (and I hope to watch soon) is Ricky Tollman’s directorial debut, the political thriller Run This Town (Oscilloscope), which stars Ben Platt (from Pitch Perfect), Mena Massoud, Nina Dobrev, Scott Speedman,  Jennifer Ehle and Damian Lewis, quite an impressive cast. Platt plays Bram, a young journalist who becomes entangled in a political scandal with his political aide friend Kamal (Massoud) after catching the latter’s city hall boss doing something bad that can help the former’s career.

Also opening this weekend at the Village East and other cities, Anna Akana stars in Emily Ting’s semi-autobiographical Go Back to China (Gravitas Ventures) playing a spoiled rich girl named Sasha Li, who is forced by her father to return to China after blowing through her trust fund. Once there, Sasha finds herself by reconnecting with her estranged family and getting into toy designing. I haven’t watched this yet but the trailer looks cute, and I might have to make an effort to watch this.

Sadly, I had to refrain mentioning Daniel Radcliffe’s previous movie released last week, but he stars in another one this weekend, Francis Annan’s Escape from Pretoria (Momentum) based on Tim Jenkins’ autobiography “Inside Out: Escape from Pretoria Prison,” a thriller about the attempt by two political captives to break out of prison during apartheid South Africa. It also stars Daniel Webber, Ian Hart, Mark Leonard Winter and Nathan Page.

A few other films I haven’t had a chance to watch include William Nicholson’s Hope Gap (Roadside Attractions), starring Annette Bening and Bill Nighy with Bening playing Grace, a woman who learns her husband (Nighy) is leaving her after 29 years and how that break-up affects their grown son (Josh O’Connor).

Freida Pinto and Leslie Odom Jr. star in Takashi Doscher’s Only(Vertical Entertainment) in which a comet releases a deadly virus that attacks all the women in the world forcing the two of them into hiding in their apartment from the savages hunting the surviving women. That’s a pretty strange premise that sounds like the opposite of the comic book series “Y the Last Man.” If only there was enough time to watch half the movies opening this weekend.

I accidentally included D.W. Young’s doc The Booksellers (Greenwich) in last week’s column, but it actually opens at the Quad in New York and other cities this Friday. It takes a look behind the scenes at the world of rare books with appearances by Parker Posey, Fran Lebowitz and Gay Talese.

From Bollywood comes BAAGHI 3 (FIP), Ahmed Khan’s martial arts action movie, starring series regular Tiger Shroff (who is filming a Bollywood remake of Rambo!) and Ritesih Deshmukh as brothers Ronnie and Vikram, the latter being kidnapped and beaten while abroad for work and Ronnie seeking revenge. Shraddha Kapoor returns after starring in the first movie of this action series.

Other movies, mostly hitting On Demand (with limited theatrical) include Transference (Epic Pictures), which opens in L.A. on Friday and hits On Demand next Tuesday, Final Kill (Cinedigm), Beneath Us (Vital Pictures) and Seven Stages to Achieve Eternal Bliss (MarVista Entertainment).

STREAMING AND CABLE

Some big stuff hitting the streaming…um… streams this weekend, including director Peter Berg and Mark Wahlberg’s latest collaboration, the action-thriller SPENSER CONFIDENTIAL on Netflix. I have really enjoyed this duo’s collaborations in the past, including Patriots Day, Deepwater Horizon and Lone Survivor. (Mile 22 was a bit of a disappointment, considering how great those other three were.) This one has Wahlberg playing the title character Spenser, an ex-cop who teams with his roommate Hawk (Winston Duke from Usand Black Panther) to take down criminals responsible for killing two Boston police officers.

Equally exciting is the launch of Alex Garland’s new sci-fi series Devs, which will launch on FX on Hulu on Thursday. This is a really terrific premise from the director of Ex Machina and Annihilation with a fantastic cast that includes an amazing cast that includes Nick Offerman, Alison Pill, Jin Ha, Cailea Spaeny, Stephen McKinley Henderson and more.

Also launching this week on Hulu is Nanette Burstein’s documentary Hillary (Hulu), which followed former Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton over the course of her 2016 U.S. presidential campaign. The movie just premiered at Sundance in January to raves.

Steven Spielberg’s revival of his popular ‘80s anthology series Amazing Stories will debut on Apple TV+ this Friday with the first episode, “The Cellar.”

REPERTORY

Before we get to the regular repertory stuff, I want to mention that Satoshi Kon’s classic 2003 anime Tokyo Godfathers will get a nationwide theatrical release via Fathom Events with Monday night, March 9, being the original subtitled version while Weds. the 11th, there will be a dubbed version.

METROGRAPH (NYC):

The big debut this week is the Metrograph Pictures release of the restored version of Fruit Chan’s 1997 classic Made in Hong Kong, which has never been released in the United States! Apparently it was also the first movie released in Hong Kong after it received independence in 1997. It’s an interesting crime tale that deals with the relationship between three young people, hoodlum August Moon, who collects debts for a local loan shark, his dim-witted friend Sylvester and Ping, an attractive but troubled young girl who begins a relationship with August. It also deals with the death of a young girl who seemingly jumped off a roof and the three of them trying to solve the case and get a few letters she left behind to those they were meant for.  If you can imagine a cross between River’s Edge, Me and Earl and the Dying Girland the recent Peanut Butter Falcon, all set in the gritty street crime culture of 1997 Hong Kong, then you can only begin to imagine what you’re in for, but it’s an amazing film and nothing you would ever see made or released in the U.S., so good on Metrograph for picking up the distribution rights and getting it out to the world.

On Sunday, Metrograph regular Alex Ross Perry will be showing Peter Hyams’ 1974 film Busting, but on Saturday, actor Chiara Mastroianni, who will be in town for “Rendezvous with French Cinema” (see above)  will show her “Dream Double Feature” of Dino Risi’s 1962 film Il Sorpasso and Charles Laughton’s psychological horror classic The Night of the Hunter (1955).

This weekend’s Late Nites at Metrograph is Fassbinder’s 1972 film The Bitter Tears of Petra Von Kant and apparently, the “Playtime: Family Matinees” has been replaced with “Metrograph Matinees” on Saturday and Sunday, which includes some less kid-friendly fare. For instance, this weekend, they’re showing Jean-Luc Godard’s Weekend (1967), which I’m assuming isn’t for the kiddies.

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE BROOKLYN (NYC)

Tonight’s “Weird Wednesday” is Robocop 2, while next week’s “Terror Tuesday” is the 1989 giallo Paganinni Horror, starring Donald Pleasance, and “Weird Wednesday” is the 1985 action film Sword of Heaven.

Over on the West Coast, Alamo Drafthouse Cinema Downtown Los Angeles will screen 1968’s Wild in the Streetsas it’s “Weird Wednesday.” Saturday’s “Kids Camp” is The Shaun the Sheep Movie and then Sunday is a Brunch screening of The Brady Brunch. Marc Bernarndin’s Monday “The Minority Report” screening is Joss Whedon’s 2005 film Serenity. Next week’s “Terror Tuesday” is Kathryn Bigelo’s Near Dark and then the “Weird Wednesday” is Bobcat Goldthwait’s 2011 dark comedy God Bless America

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

Weds’ afternoon matinee is Clint Eastwood’s High Plains Drifter (1973), while the Weds/Thursday night double feature is The Man Who Would Be King (1975) with Zulu Dawn  (1979). The “Freaky Fridays” matinee is Paul Verhoeven’s Starship Trooper (1997) and then we’re into the weekend with Friday/Saturday double features of Blake Edwards’ The Return of the Pink Panthe r(1975) and The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1975), both starring Peter Sellers as Inspector Clouseau. The weekend’s “Kiddee Matinee” is Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Princeand the Saturday midnight screening is Hal Ashby’s fantastic Harold and Maude. Sunday and Monday will continue the Blake Edwards love with 1965’s The Great Race with one of the greatest all-star casts of the decade. On Monday afternoon you can see the classic House Partyfrom 1990 and then Tuesday’s Grindhouse is David Cronenberg’s The Brood (1979) with Scalpel (1977).

FILM FORUM (NYC):

The big rep series beginning this week on Wednesday and running through March 19 is “The Women Behind Hitchcock,” mostly focusing on Hitchcock’s relationship with wife and editor Alma Reville and secretary Joan Harrison. The series includes Hitchcock classics like Rebecca  (1940) and The Lady Vanishes (1938), as well as Robert Siodmak’s 1944 film Phantom Lady (produced by Harrison) as well lots more. This weekend’s “Film Forum Jr.” is Jim Henson’s Muppet Treasure Island (1996) and Friday is a screening of Claude Lelouch’s Oscar-winning 1966 film A Man and a Woman with Lelouch in person. (That’s already sold out online but will have a standby line.)

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

Thursday offers an encore screening of the Russian film Come and Seeand then Friday begins “Noir City Hollywood: the 22ndAnnual Los Angeles Festival of Film Noir” with a double feature of The Beast Must Die (1952) with Gilda (1946) and then Saturday offers a TRIPLE FEATURE of Fritz Lang’s 1931 M, Joseph Losey’s 1951 remake M and El Vampiro Negro, the 1953 Spanish Language. That’s a LOT of “M”s. Saturday night in the Spielberg Theater, “Joe Dante’s 16mm Spotlight” will screen Brian De Palma’s 1968 film Murder À La Mod. Sunday offers two Film Noir double features, two from Robert Siodmak: The Devil Strikes at Night (1957) and Fly-by-Night (1942) and then the Korean noir The Housemaid (1960) with My Name is Julia Ross (1945). Meanwhile, the AERO will mainly be doing the West Coast version of “Canada Now 2020,” and then on Monday, David Mamet will be on hand to show his film House of Gamesas part of “Noir City: Hollywood.”

QUAD CINEMA (NYC):

Horace B. Jenkins’ 1982 film Cane River continues through the weekend, as does Pandora and the Flying Dutchman and Brazilian filmmaker Bruno Barreto’s Donna Flor and Her Two Husbands (1976) plays Saturday night and then again a couple times next week.

MOMA  (NYC):

Lots of new series this week including Modern Matinees: CicelyTyson, which will focus on the Tony, Emmy, honorary Oscar and Presidential Medal of Freedom honoree and her body of work with matinee screenings on Weds through Thursdays. It kicks off Weds with 1954’s Carib Gold, followed on Thursday by Fried Green Tomatoes (1991) and Friday’s screening of Rob Cohen’s 2012 movie Alex Cross. The latter might seem like a strange movie to screen at MOMA, but this week also begins In Character: Daniel Craig, which will cover the roughly two decade career of the British actor best known for playing James Bond. The latter begins on Tuesday night with a screening of his Bond debut, 2006’s Casino Royale, but then it will take a week off and be back next Weds for a repeat. SThe latter is delayed for a retrospective on Israeli journalist Efratia Gitai and her filmmaking son Amos Gitai’s work called “In Times Like These.”The weekend series includes 2009’s Carmel, 1986’s Esther, 1989’s Berlin-Jerusalem and 2002’s Kedma, as well as a staged reading of his mother’s letters.

ANTHOLOGY FILM ARCHIVES (NYC):

A new series begins Thursday called “1995: The Year the Internet Broke” with a mix of sci-fi films like Hackers, the anime Ghost in the Shell, Kathryn Bigelow’s Strange Days, The Net, Johnny Mnemonic, Virtuosity and more. It looks like a pretty solid series, while the more obscure Dusan Makavjev, Cinema Unbound through Sunday. Next Tuesday begins “The Cinema of Gender Transgression” begins with Neil Jordan’s 2005 film Breakfast on Pluto.

NITEHAWK CINEMA  (NYC):

Williamsburg will show the Julia Roberts Oscar-winning Erin Brockovich and then the Friday night midnight offerings are Dan Bush’s newish The Dark Redand Ben Wheatley’s underrated 2012 movie Sightseers. Saturday morning screening is Joseph Mankiewicz’s All About Eve from 1950 but your other option is the ubiquitous Nicolas Cage in 1995’s Leaving Las Vegas. Monday night is a special screening of Anna Rose Holmer’s 2016 film The Fits as part of “Women’s Month.” (Next Tuesday night screening of Cage’s Gone in 60 Secondsis already sold out unfortunately.)

Over in Prospect Park, the Saturday brunch offering is Agnieszka Holland’s 1993 adaptation of The Secret Garden and then on Tuesday night is a screening of Hitchcock’s Rebecca (1940) as part of “Woman’s Month.”

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

“See it Big! Outer Space” continues this weekend with screenings of Alfonso Cuaron’s Gravity on Friday and Sunday and Star Trek: The Motion Picture on Saturday, plus 2001: A Space Odyssey screens on Saturday afternoon, per usual.

BAM CINEMATEK (NYC):

Kelly Reichardt Selects: First Cow In Context ends on Wednesday with Melville’s Le Cercle Rouge.

IFC CENTER (NYC)

Weekend Classics: Luis Buñuel takes a couple more weekends off, while Waverly Midnights: Hindsight is 2020s is showing James McTeigue’s 2005 adaptation of Alan Moore and David Lloyd’s V for Vendetta. Late Night Favorites: Winter 2020 will show Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction.

ROXY CINEMA (NYC)

The Cage run continues with Paul Schrader’s 2016 movie Dog Eat Dog, co-starring Willem Dafoe,on Weds and 2011’s Drive Angry Thursday.

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART  (LA):

Uh oh, this Friday’s midnight is…the 2019 disaster Cats!

Next week is a busy one with four new wide release ranging from Sony’s Bloodshot, starring Vin Diesel as the Valiant Comics hero, to Blumhouse’s The Hunt, the faith-based Lionsgate film I Still Believe and David Batista’s family comedy My Spy (STXfilms).

By the way, if you read this week’s column and have read this far down, feel free to drop me some thoughts at Edward dot Douglas at Gmail dot Com or send me a note on Twitter. I love hearing from readers!

#TheWeekendWarrior Onward TheWayBack Emma Movies Reviews LimitedReleases Streaming Repertory SorryWeMissedYou TheWildGooseLake

[metamodel]

A Machine For Hammering the Soul, With Robotic Padres

It's a juicy weekend read for you, in defence of piety (!)…

📖📖📖

After taking an extended break from social design work “to get some perspective” (ahem), I find that Everything Now Looks Very Strange Indeed™. This is another one of my updates on restarting a creative practice, with added cultural and design commentary. 

(If someone’s forwarded this thing to you in the hope you’ll find it interesting, you can subscribe here to secure my everlasting love.)

Today I want to write of vibrations of the soul, the experience of the divine and the habit of prayer. With robots. Yes.

I remain a staunch unbeliever, and yet I find that these apparently religious terms become more useful when I’m wrestling with certain practices: of creativity, of recovery, of becoming a better participant in my communities (local or cosmic). Each of these requires me to paradoxically affirm my own sense of agency by simultaneously curbing it.

For example, working on our addictions is never simply a matter of exerting our individual willpower (which is called “white-knuckling it” in recovery culture, and clearly unsustainable); we instead need to make the choice to surrender to the collective agency of community. 

And the other week, my dear friend Janelle and I attended a writer’s meetup that involved everyone sitting down and just doing some fucking writing. As we sat in a zero-ambience pub bistro, beavering away, she passed me a note: 

“THIS FEELS FORCED AND NOT RAD.”

Agreed, the venue was very much not rad, and we weren't a very inspiring sight, but to be fair to the rest of us, Janelle’s own writing is driven by uncommonly strong affective tides that would wreck a less glorious being. I’d argue that for most people, sustainable creativity needs in some way to be “forced”, and this isn’t a bad thing. My own creative endeavours need to be sustained by the scheduled habit of accessing an animating spirit that might reveal itself to the solidarity of a congregation. (It does need a better venue, though. Blech.)

Such appeals to the beyond have given me a new, practical appreciation of the rigours of piety. But lest I be accused by Slavoj Žižek of some lacklustre, postmodern, liberal-secular appropriation of spirituality, I need to leaven this stuff with a good dose of machines and robots to keep it interesting to me. 😉

Eternal return: burials, and when the earth rejects us

First, some follow-up.

Did you know that in this wonderful medium of email newslettering, you can simply reply to any of these missives from me, and that your reply will appear directly in my everyday, personal email inbox? It’s real email. No really, I love this, so replies are encouraged. Meanwhile, I’m really heartened by the generous messages I’ve received from you thus far. Also, I don’t know some of you, and this mixture of the known and unknown is tantalising. 

Answering my call in the last issue for objects that deserve “burial rites/rights" with us, Andrew (who I know can light a fire with his bare hands) replies that “I would bring with me a wooden spoon for my cooking, a headlamp for reading late at night and camping, and a vr headset because I know I won’t be affording one in this lifetime”. That would just be a simulated, still life VR headset then, right?

And Deborah, who wants “to be buried with seeds inside me, so I could be compost” (and who also first pointed me in the direction of socially responsible design, many years ago 😘), also notes that the word “Pandæmonium”, which I used in my last missive to describe the experience of the classroom in the context of exploring All the Things, “was coined to describe the Place Of All The Demons” — the capital of Hell in Milton’s Paradise Lost. So oddly… appropriate.

Deborah also pointed me to “When the rocks turn their backs on us”, Ken Wark’s review of Elizabeth Povinelli’s Geontologies: A Requiem to Late Liberalism:

[T]he Anthropocene is far from being some hubristic discourse about the powers and destinies of Man. It is rather a malignant, viral human presence in geological time. I think here one could read the Anthropocene through the figure of immunity rather than community. It is not the figure of Man becoming sovereign over the community of the biosphere within geological time. It is rather the biosphere immunising itself against forms of (non)life that it can’t endure. 

While I think there’s every reason to despair, this feels a little too enthusiastically misanthropic. (Perhaps Wark is trying to make up for his embarrassing social democratic excesses of the ‘90s.) Not all community is naturalistic, hippy-dippy togetherness and accommodation, and the pain of recognising and negotiating it, against the predations of capital, might offer a bleak kind of hope. I shall ponder. I’ve naturally procured Povinelli’s book and will report back in a future issue.

⚒️🎵 The Hammer Song

[caption align="alignnone" width="980"]

Kandinsky’s "Winter Landscape", 1911[/caption]

The Masters of Modern Art from the Hermitage show could so easily have drifted into Adult Contemporary Viewing territory, but it brought me this amazing quote from Kandinsky:

Colour is the keyboard, the eyes are the hammers, and the soul is the piano with many strings. The artist is the hand that plays, touching one key or another, to cause vibrations in the soul.

The eyes are the hammers. Whoa. Despite its manifest spiritualism, this image builds a model of aesthetics that’s all about resonant, relational assemblages of awesome in which each actor plays a material part. My eyes and yours live together inside a big piano. Fucking yes. This is society and ecology, defined — via aesthetics. The exhibition leaves Sydney this weekend if you want to catch it.

🔪🥀 Nick Cave is a joyful robot monk. Wait, what?

[caption align="alignnone" width="980"]

Nick Cave in conversation. Photo filched from Daniel Boud.[/caption]

I was grateful to be at Conversations with Nick Cave the other week, not just to hear Cave’s voice and solo piano really rise to the occasion and fill a venue with their resonance, but to see the open Q&A format of the show return repeatedly to Cave’s creative process.

Fans who might’ve been clamouring for transcendent tales of sudden inspiration, or 19th Century Gothic influences (“I don’t have any”), were brought back to earth by the familiar refrain of the committed creative professional: Cave shows up to work, which requires lots of meticulous preparation and backbreaking iteration, and he makes it happen. “It’s a job,” he said, with finality. (I love the incongruity of this stuff coming from people like Nick Cave, or Bobbie Gillespie, who apparently keeps office hours for Primal Scream.) 

But I’ve become a little sceptical of the total demystification of creativity that’s now common in our algorithmically inclined age of, uh, content-marketing savvy. With our era’s overly instrumentalist promotion of a well-adjusted creative-entrepreneurial mindset, it might be all too easy these days to reduce everything to using elbow grease to, you know, hit targets. 

So I love that Cave is still in awe of sacred aesthetic magic when his rigour allows it to happen. He talked of putting in the work so that the divine can arrive. All his meticulous “going through the motions” (again, not a bad thing) produces something more than the sum of those motions. For him, it’s a way to experience God. And despite his Prince of Darkness reputation, Cave was at pains to describe how joyful that process can be. “There’s nothing dark about it.” 

🤖🙏 Oh yeah, the bit about robots

When I was listening to Radiolab the other day (despite my long-running ambivalence about the show), I found that this recent episode’s focus on robots of antiquity resonated unexpectedly with my reading of Nick Cave’s creative process.

Hear me out.

In 1562 the crown prince of Spain, Don Carlos, falls down a flight of stairs and sustains a head injury that is by all accounts going to be fatal. According to Radiolab, his father King Philip II “kneels at his son’s deathbed and makes a pact with God: ‘If you help me, if you heal my son — if you do this miracle for me — I'll do a miracle for you.’” 

Don Carlos miraculously survives, apparently thanks to the intervention of the spirit of Diego de Alcalá, a celebrated monk who died a century before. And so now Philip II needs to somehow perform his miracle:

[He] enlists a really renowned clockmaker named Juanelo Turriano — a huge ox of a man, described as always being filthy and blustery and not a lot of fun to be around — but a great, great clockmaker. So the king says, “Look, I want you to make a mechanical version of Diego de Alcalá, a mechanical version of this 100-year-dead holy priest. Yes, a mechanical monk — a robotic padre.” 

[caption align="alignnone" width="980"]

The robotic padre[/caption]

Artist and historian Elizabeth King describes the result: 

Driven by a key-wound spring, the monk walks in a square, striking his chest with his right arm, raising and lowering a small wooden cross and rosary in his left hand, turning and nodding his head, rolling his eyes, and mouthing silent obsequies. From time to time, he brings the cross to his lips and kisses it. After over 400 years, he remains in good working order. 

A miracle of technology! (You can watch a very low quality video of the robot in action here.) “He walks a delicate line between church, theatre, magic, science,” King writes, pondering the significance of the mechanical monk. “Here is a machine that prays.” 

What does it mean? According to King and Radiolab, in the context of Counter-Reformation Spain, the robot monk strikes to the heart of debates about how one gets close to God:

You have the Protestants, with Luther, who are saying, “it’s not about works … it's about whether you feel it.” And then you have the Catholic argument which is to say you do these rituals because these are the rituals, and this is the way you get close to God.

The robot monk teaches us how to do ritual. Controversial! Given the ridiculous degree of crufty observance and corruption in the Church at the time of the Reformation (and, um, other times), I obviously understand why the Protestant appeal to pure feels was compelling. But my own ingrained Catholic social justice calculus of “good works” aside (“don’t fucking tell me your account with God hinges on how you feel inside instead of your concrete actions in the world, you schismatic apostates!”), I can’t help but think that this debate, and the robot monk himself, is a metaphor for the observance of creative process. 

As stated above, I’m suspicious of the reduction of creativity to a bunch of instrumental observances in the mechanised pursuit of… metrics. Hack-work content marketing success, paid in SEO indulgences to the Church of Google. But to respond to this by abandoning the rigours of creative process for the inspiration of pure feeling would be a mistake. Unless you're a tidal wave like my friend Janelle, feelings are fickle. Protestant churches tend to trade the horrific institutionalised power of the Catholic Church (about which we need no reminders) for another kind of tyranny: exploitative emotional economies in which the faithful tend to be at the mercy of charisma. And to trade in pure charisma is to produce strongmen. As our current times remind us, charismatic populism offers release for the anxious but also destroys the processes that ultimately help us flourish as communities. Creative populism that relies on emotional catharsis tends to destroy the basis for a consistent creative practice. Just as the Reformation ended up eliding the point of what “good works” might potentially be about (i.e. acting rigorously to enable the arrival of goodness), we also need to remember what creative rituals are for (i.e. exactly the same thing as good works).

Thus it is with Nick Cave, who for me is the amazing robot monk. He mightn’t be your cup of tea, or you might even find his work occasionally objectionable, but I think most of us can agree that his creative practice really hums. (Don’t let his obsession with Southern Baptists or his own Anglican heritage distract. In terms of process, he is an exemplary Catholic robot.) He prepares, meticulously. He shows up to work. He performs the motions regularly, not worrying about inspiration, and through these observances somehow accesses what he feels to be a divine and joyous experience of creativity. 

I’m convinced that if Nick Cave relied on pure feeling, or murderous inspiration, or spontaneous gothic possession, or any of the other assumptions people make about his artistic persona, so many great moments of his oeuvre wouldn’t exist. Nick Cave walks the square and kisses the cross and talks to God. For he is a joyous robot monk.

🎼 Coda

For those of you who remain unconvinced by my yoking together of monks and murder ballads: the final line of Umberto Eco’s The Name of the Rose, an historical murder mystery set in a monastery, is “Stat rosa pristina nomine, nomina nuda tenemus”, or “The rose of old remains only in its name; we have only naked names”. 

Meanwhile, I was never really a fan of the chorus of “Where the Wild Roses Grow,” Cave’s duet with Kylie Minogue:

They call me The Wild Rose 

But my name was Elisa Day 

Why they call me it, I do not know 

For my name was Elisa Day 

Oooh. The name of the rose. Anyway, to me, Minogue’s delivery always reeked of passive fatalism. But the other day, I realised that it wasn’t fatalistic all — it was full of spooky reproach. Elisa Day remains known to us by her Wild Rose name of legend, but her ghost insists on remembering her own name. She’s crossing t’s and dotting i’s from beyond the grave. 

Following Kylie, we would do well to pay proper respect to the names of those who are in the beyond. The way we relate to them constitutes its own assemblage, its own machine of observances. In this I’m reminded of Arthur C. Clarke’s 1953 short story, “The Nine Billion Names of God”, in which Tibetan monks manage to automate the process of transcribing all the permutations that God’s name can take, using a supercomputer (naturally). Observing the names is the universe’s purpose, you see. And when the final name is encoded… Whoa.

How's that for a crazy constellation? (I know I'm just reaching. But it's fun!)

A sustainable portion of all my love,

Ben

[preciousmetals0]

China’s Valentine’s Gift; Earnings All a-Twitter

China’s Valentine’s Gift; Earnings All a-Twitter:

China’s Valentine’s Day Gift

Well color me happy, the market is on a four-day winning streak!

Following on the heels of yesterday’s impressive payrolls data, the major market indexes are retesting all-time high territory. Today’s driver was news that China will cut retaliatory tariffs on some U.S. goods in half.

What’s more, the adjustments will take place on February 14. That’s one heck of a Valentine’s Day present, President Xi Jinping. I’m sure President Trump really appreciates it.

According to China’s Ministry of Finance (not to be confused with the Ministry of Silly Walks), the tariffs were slashed to “advance the healthy and stable development of China-U.S. trade.” Not the warmest of Valentine’s Day cards, but considering the pair had more than a yearlong argument … it will do.

The next steps in U.S.-China trade relations now depend on how further talks proceed. China noted that it hopes to collaborate with the Trump administration to get rid of all tariff increases.

To quote Harold Zidler from Moulin Rouge!: “Everything’s going so well!”

The Takeaway: 

Is it time to ’Murica things up around here a little bit?

I think it is.

I’ve said it since the beginning: All that holds the U.S. economy back are the trade war tariffs. We saw that pressure ease up a bit at the beginning of the year with the signing of the “phase 1” trade deal. And now, we should see it ease even further as trade relations between the world’s two biggest economies continue to normalize.

That calls for a nice loud “Ooh-rah!” And we’re seeing it in the markets today. (I can’t be the only one with the Hulk Hogan theme song in my head right now, brother.)

The Dow, the S&P 500 and the Nasdaq are all inching closer to all-time high territory, as Wall Street cheers falling risks to volatility and more normalcy in global trade relations.

Let’s hope it stays that way. (Don’t jinx it, Mr. Great Stuff!)

Now, I won’t say there aren’t still risks involved here. It’s quite possible that China is pushing harder for a trade war resolution due to the economic impact of the Wuhan coronavirus. I’d bet money on it.

Clearly, the U.S. has the upper hand. The pieces are now in place for America to come out on top of this long-winded, whimpering trade war.

We’re on the verge of a whole new America — a country stronger and more durable than China can shake a stick at. America 2.0, if you will.

And when it comes to finding where to invest in America’s future, no one has a head start like Paul Mampilly. In fact, he just released a video interview where he lays out his battle plan detailing the best way to invest in America 2.0.

If you click here now, you can learn how you could benefit from Paul Mampilly’s No. 1 stock to buy for the new America.

The Good: For the Birds

Who would’ve thought that Twitter Inc. (NYSE: TWTR) would emerge as the “choice of a new generation” in social media?

That may exaggerate things a bit, but Twitter’s latest trip to the earnings confessional was certainly impressive. Yes, earnings missed expectations by $0.04 per share, but revenue topped $1 billion for the first time. And daily active users came in at 152 million — blowing past Wall Street’s estimates.

During a call with investors, CEO Jack Dorsey said that he sees “Twitter more as an interest network [rather] than a social network.” I think Dorsey sells Twitter short with this statement.

Think about it.

Facebook Inc. (Nasdaq: FB) struggles with numerous social issues and antitrust investigations. Snap Inc. (NYSE: SNAP) is still trying to monetize the younger generations. Meanwhile, Twitter took action to clean up its image on irresponsible advertising and user-base toxicity.

Twitter clearly isn’t perfect, but it’s a far cry from Facebook, which has barely given token responses to either issue. As Twitter continues along this path, I expect it to gain even more market share in social media.

The Bad: Hitting the Wall

I’ve never been a fan of Peloton Interactive Inc. (Nasdaq: PTON). The company’s video-imbued stationary bikes just don’t appeal to me at all. I’d rather ride (or preferably run) outside.

But I get Peloton’s popularity. I also get that these kinds of workout fads eventually die. Judging from the company’s recent quarterly report, the company isn’t dead, but it’s seeing a slowdown … one that I think will accelerate this year.

By the numbers, the company beat earnings expectations but missed on revenue. Sales growth slowed from a 103% gain in the fiscal first quarter to a 72% gain in the second quarter. Subscriber numbers rocketed 96% higher on the quarter, but that was still a slower pace than the first quarter’s 103% spike.

These numbers all look rather impressive, but there’s some important context to be aware of. This slower growth occurred not only during the holiday shopping season, it happened during peak workout and New Year’s resolution season.

Investors punished PTON shares today for slowing growth. I wonder how much they’ll punish the stock once everyone gives up their subscriptions this month. We all know most resolutions to get healthy die a horrible death in February. I foresee those Peloton subscriptions following the same path.

Fiscal third-quarter numbers will be a wake-up call for PTON investors on the reality of this fitness fad.

The Ugly: Bump and Run

Thanks to Tesla Inc. (Nasdaq: TSLA), I get to use one of my favorite words twice in one week: flabbergasted.

During TSLA’s three-day run from last Friday through this Tuesday — when Tesla stock surged nearly 40% and short sellers lost billions — more than 22,000 investors bought TSLA for the first time on free-trading app Robinhood.

I was floored … nay, I was flabbergasted! Essentially, a bunch of millennial “under-the-desk” investors (Robinhood’s primary demographic) not only spiked TSLA stock, but also royally burned short sellers. It was as delicious as it was scary.

However, TSLA is now paying the price for this little bump and run. The stock has plunged roughly 23% in the past two days, effectively resetting this week’s gains. Not only that, but we’re seeing the resolution of a technical pattern called — what else? — a bump and run.

I won’t go into the technical details (you can find an explanation here), but the chart below essentially illustrates the pattern:

If Tesla follows the traditional bump-and-run pattern, temporary support lies in the $600 to $650 region. Then, once the bargain-hunting dries up, the shares will dive further due to more profit-taking. Many investors are up 100%, 200% … even 400% on their TSLA positions right now. They won’t let those gains go to waste.

Now, I said “traditional,” but Tesla is far from traditional. The stock has a cult-like following. In other words, buying support could hold on long enough to invalidate this pattern, or at least drag it out for some time.

To break out of this reversal, Tesla needs more good news: deliveries, production numbers, new model news, et cetera. Bargain hunters looking to catch a falling knife won’t cut it.

Welcome back to another edition of Great Stuff’s Reader Feedback!

In this weekly column, I read your emails and … provide feedback. It’s kind of in the name, huh? My wife says I tend to overexplain things … I think she’s on to something.

Anyway, let’s dive right in to the ol’ mailbag!

First up, we have Gary F. and his take on Tesla:

Read your e-article today on Tesla earnings report, et al. results. Let me share: I am not a bear or bull. I am a trader. I have mostly taken the bull side when trading Tesla and always with options trades. I have recorded many profitable trades over the last six months, especially when I was patient when entering with buying call options or hedging with put options.

My bias has been to keep a long call position — even when buying puts or placing a spread in the options with consideration of the wide price ranges Tesla stock has traded in over that period.

Got to love the volatility. I am strictly a price movement/timing specialist trader, but do enjoy reading some of the rhetoric and banter between the bulls and bears. It is useful to know their position views. This along with the analysts that feed both sides of the market.

What I also know is that earnings reports and forecasts based upon them are the MOST inaccurate way and misleading way to judge a business. That in terms of the business as a profitable entity with sustainable growth and market viability.

Tesla is no different in that regard from any other company. There simply is no uniform reporting method used or required by the SEC beyond some standard category numbers. Therefore, a company can use any of dozens of accounting (legal) reporting methods when submitting data. Talk about biased reporting!

Tesla is likely to stay on an upward price bias for the remainder of the next three quarters of 2020. BUT, not without some large price adjustments along the way.

Keep feeding the bears so that profitable trade opportunities will exist repeatedly in 2020.

This guy trades. Gary, you are dead-on with your “large price adjustments” remark … especially since you sent this in before Tesla’s plunge this week. I’m not sold on the upward bias for 2020 yet (as I noted above), but if you’re trading options, that hardly matters.

Thanks for writing in!

Garfield W. also wrote in about Tesla:

I love the way the info was presented. I do know that TSLA will hit $1,000 shortly, no doubt about that. Where will the rally end? Maybe after it hits $4,000 a share. Who knows? But what options (insurance) do we have to hedge this one? What goes up must eventually come down. I look forward to your thoughts on this.

Sorry, Garfield, but it looks like you’re going to have to wait a bit longer for $1,000 TSLA. (I’m trying really hard not to make lasagna jokes, by the way. I’m sure you’ve heard them all.)

As for options insurance? There are two simple options (Options on options? Ugh.): First, you could buy TSLA puts as a way to profit from any declines in the shares. Second, if you own TSLA stock, you could sell covered calls to earn some income while you wait for the stock to rebound.

As always, be sure to check with your broker and do your homework before trading any options, however — and be sure to consult Banyan Hill expert Chad Shoop!

Finally, Mike B. explains it all on “socially responsible” investing:

This week, you asked for insight into the responses received with respect to how much social responsibility plays a part in investing. I am one of the respondents who answered “Not at all.” 

Perhaps the responses that you received are framed, based upon interpretation of the question asked. I interpreted the question to ask if I considered a company’s social responsibility in making investment decisions. My answer is, emphatically, “NO.” The only “green” that concerns me is the dollars generated in my bank account. 

If a company has a sound business plan, a strong management team and operates with a solid potential for growth within its market, I will invest regardless if that company has a “progressive” mission or a “traditional” mission. 

That is why my portfolio has both big oil and renewable energy companies, and both tobacco product producers and biotech firms developing methods to treat cancers. Turning greenbacks into more greenbacks is what I consider “green investing.”

Thanks for writing in, Mike! Your perspective is dead-on. I was somewhat interested in Great Stuff readers’ opinions on corporate social responsibility, but more interested in whether “green” companies were a growing part of their portfolios for investment reasons. You know, turning green into greenbacks.

Note to self: Be more careful with poll wording in the future. Thanks again!

If you wrote in and I didn’t get to you, it might be because you cursed too $%*?@#! much. I still really appreciate the feedback, even if they won’t let me publish it.

And if you haven’t written in yet … what’s stopping you? Drop me a line at [email protected] and let me know how you’re doing out there in this crazy bull market.

That’s a wrap for today. But if you’re still craving more Great Stuff, you can check us out on social media: Facebook, and Twitter.

Until next time, good trading!

Regards,

Joseph Hargett

Great Stuff Editor, Banyan Hill Publishing

[goldira01]

China’s Valentine’s Day Gift

Well color me happy, the market is on a four-day winning streak!

Following on the heels of yesterday’s impressive payrolls data, the major market indexes are retesting all-time high territory. Today’s driver was news that China will cut retaliatory tariffs on some U.S. goods in half.

What’s more, the adjustments will take place on February 14. That’s one heck of a Valentine’s Day present, President Xi Jinping. I’m sure President Trump really appreciates it.

According to China’s Ministry of Finance (not to be confused with the Ministry of Silly Walks), the tariffs were slashed to “advance the healthy and stable development of China-U.S. trade.” Not the warmest of Valentine’s Day cards, but considering the pair had more than a yearlong argument … it will do.

The next steps in U.S.-China trade relations now depend on how further talks proceed. China noted that it hopes to collaborate with the Trump administration to get rid of all tariff increases.

To quote Harold Zidler from Moulin Rouge!: “Everything’s going so well!”

The Takeaway: 

Is it time to ’Murica things up around here a little bit?

I think it is.

I’ve said it since the beginning: All that holds the U.S. economy back are the trade war tariffs. We saw that pressure ease up a bit at the beginning of the year with the signing of the “phase 1” trade deal. And now, we should see it ease even further as trade relations between the world’s two biggest economies continue to normalize.

That calls for a nice loud “Ooh-rah!” And we’re seeing it in the markets today. (I can’t be the only one with the Hulk Hogan theme song in my head right now, brother.)

The Dow, the S&P 500 and the Nasdaq are all inching closer to all-time high territory, as Wall Street cheers falling risks to volatility and more normalcy in global trade relations.

Let’s hope it stays that way. (Don’t jinx it, Mr. Great Stuff!)

Now, I won’t say there aren’t still risks involved here. It’s quite possible that China is pushing harder for a trade war resolution due to the economic impact of the Wuhan coronavirus. I’d bet money on it.

Clearly, the U.S. has the upper hand. The pieces are now in place for America to come out on top of this long-winded, whimpering trade war.

We’re on the verge of a whole new America — a country stronger and more durable than China can shake a stick at. America 2.0, if you will.

And when it comes to finding where to invest in America’s future, no one has a head start like Paul Mampilly. In fact, he just released a video interview where he lays out his battle plan detailing the best way to invest in America 2.0.

If you click here now, you can learn how you could benefit from Paul Mampilly’s No. 1 stock to buy for the new America.

The Good: For the Birds

Who would’ve thought that Twitter Inc. (NYSE: TWTR) would emerge as the “choice of a new generation” in social media?

That may exaggerate things a bit, but Twitter’s latest trip to the earnings confessional was certainly impressive. Yes, earnings missed expectations by $0.04 per share, but revenue topped $1 billion for the first time. And daily active users came in at 152 million — blowing past Wall Street’s estimates.

During a call with investors, CEO Jack Dorsey said that he sees “Twitter more as an interest network [rather] than a social network.” I think Dorsey sells Twitter short with this statement.

Think about it.

Facebook Inc. (Nasdaq: FB) struggles with numerous social issues and antitrust investigations. Snap Inc. (NYSE: SNAP) is still trying to monetize the younger generations. Meanwhile, Twitter took action to clean up its image on irresponsible advertising and user-base toxicity.

Twitter clearly isn’t perfect, but it’s a far cry from Facebook, which has barely given token responses to either issue. As Twitter continues along this path, I expect it to gain even more market share in social media.

The Bad: Hitting the Wall

I’ve never been a fan of Peloton Interactive Inc. (Nasdaq: PTON). The company’s video-imbued stationary bikes just don’t appeal to me at all. I’d rather ride (or preferably run) outside.

But I get Peloton’s popularity. I also get that these kinds of workout fads eventually die. Judging from the company’s recent quarterly report, the company isn’t dead, but it’s seeing a slowdown … one that I think will accelerate this year.

By the numbers, the company beat earnings expectations but missed on revenue. Sales growth slowed from a 103% gain in the fiscal first quarter to a 72% gain in the second quarter. Subscriber numbers rocketed 96% higher on the quarter, but that was still a slower pace than the first quarter’s 103% spike.

These numbers all look rather impressive, but there’s some important context to be aware of. This slower growth occurred not only during the holiday shopping season, it happened during peak workout and New Year’s resolution season.

Investors punished PTON shares today for slowing growth. I wonder how much they’ll punish the stock once everyone gives up their subscriptions this month. We all know most resolutions to get healthy die a horrible death in February. I foresee those Peloton subscriptions following the same path.

Fiscal third-quarter numbers will be a wake-up call for PTON investors on the reality of this fitness fad.

The Ugly: Bump and Run

Thanks to Tesla Inc. (Nasdaq: TSLA), I get to use one of my favorite words twice in one week: flabbergasted.

During TSLA’s three-day run from last Friday through this Tuesday — when Tesla stock surged nearly 40% and short sellers lost billions — more than 22,000 investors bought TSLA for the first time on free-trading app Robinhood.

I was floored … nay, I was flabbergasted! Essentially, a bunch of millennial “under-the-desk” investors (Robinhood’s primary demographic) not only spiked TSLA stock, but also royally burned short sellers. It was as delicious as it was scary.

However, TSLA is now paying the price for this little bump and run. The stock has plunged roughly 23% in the past two days, effectively resetting this week’s gains. Not only that, but we’re seeing the resolution of a technical pattern called — what else? — a bump and run.

I won’t go into the technical details (you can find an explanation here), but the chart below essentially illustrates the pattern:

If Tesla follows the traditional bump-and-run pattern, temporary support lies in the $600 to $650 region. Then, once the bargain-hunting dries up, the shares will dive further due to more profit-taking. Many investors are up 100%, 200% … even 400% on their TSLA positions right now. They won’t let those gains go to waste.

Now, I said “traditional,” but Tesla is far from traditional. The stock has a cult-like following. In other words, buying support could hold on long enough to invalidate this pattern, or at least drag it out for some time.

To break out of this reversal, Tesla needs more good news: deliveries, production numbers, new model news, et cetera. Bargain hunters looking to catch a falling knife won’t cut it.

Welcome back to another edition of Great Stuff’s Reader Feedback!

In this weekly column, I read your emails and … provide feedback. It’s kind of in the name, huh? My wife says I tend to overexplain things … I think she’s on to something.

Anyway, let’s dive right in to the ol’ mailbag!

First up, we have Gary F. and his take on Tesla:

Read your e-article today on Tesla earnings report, et al. results. Let me share: I am not a bear or bull. I am a trader. I have mostly taken the bull side when trading Tesla and always with options trades. I have recorded many profitable trades over the last six months, especially when I was patient when entering with buying call options or hedging with put options.

My bias has been to keep a long call position — even when buying puts or placing a spread in the options with consideration of the wide price ranges Tesla stock has traded in over that period.

Got to love the volatility. I am strictly a price movement/timing specialist trader, but do enjoy reading some of the rhetoric and banter between the bulls and bears. It is useful to know their position views. This along with the analysts that feed both sides of the market.

What I also know is that earnings reports and forecasts based upon them are the MOST inaccurate way and misleading way to judge a business. That in terms of the business as a profitable entity with sustainable growth and market viability.

Tesla is no different in that regard from any other company. There simply is no uniform reporting method used or required by the SEC beyond some standard category numbers. Therefore, a company can use any of dozens of accounting (legal) reporting methods when submitting data. Talk about biased reporting!

Tesla is likely to stay on an upward price bias for the remainder of the next three quarters of 2020. BUT, not without some large price adjustments along the way.

Keep feeding the bears so that profitable trade opportunities will exist repeatedly in 2020.

This guy trades. Gary, you are dead-on with your “large price adjustments” remark … especially since you sent this in before Tesla’s plunge this week. I’m not sold on the upward bias for 2020 yet (as I noted above), but if you’re trading options, that hardly matters.

Thanks for writing in!

Garfield W. also wrote in about Tesla:

I love the way the info was presented. I do know that TSLA will hit $1,000 shortly, no doubt about that. Where will the rally end? Maybe after it hits $4,000 a share. Who knows? But what options (insurance) do we have to hedge this one? What goes up must eventually come down. I look forward to your thoughts on this.

Sorry, Garfield, but it looks like you’re going to have to wait a bit longer for $1,000 TSLA. (I’m trying really hard not to make lasagna jokes, by the way. I’m sure you’ve heard them all.)

As for options insurance? There are two simple options (Options on options? Ugh.): First, you could buy TSLA puts as a way to profit from any declines in the shares. Second, if you own TSLA stock, you could sell covered calls to earn some income while you wait for the stock to rebound.

As always, be sure to check with your broker and do your homework before trading any options, however — and be sure to consult Banyan Hill expert Chad Shoop!

Finally, Mike B. explains it all on “socially responsible” investing:

This week, you asked for insight into the responses received with respect to how much social responsibility plays a part in investing. I am one of the respondents who answered “Not at all.” 

Perhaps the responses that you received are framed, based upon interpretation of the question asked. I interpreted the question to ask if I considered a company’s social responsibility in making investment decisions. My answer is, emphatically, “NO.” The only “green” that concerns me is the dollars generated in my bank account. 

If a company has a sound business plan, a strong management team and operates with a solid potential for growth within its market, I will invest regardless if that company has a “progressive” mission or a “traditional” mission. 

That is why my portfolio has both big oil and renewable energy companies, and both tobacco product producers and biotech firms developing methods to treat cancers. Turning greenbacks into more greenbacks is what I consider “green investing.”

Thanks for writing in, Mike! Your perspective is dead-on. I was somewhat interested in Great Stuff readers’ opinions on corporate social responsibility, but more interested in whether “green” companies were a growing part of their portfolios for investment reasons. You know, turning green into greenbacks.

Note to self: Be more careful with poll wording in the future. Thanks again!

If you wrote in and I didn’t get to you, it might be because you cursed too $%*?@#! much. I still really appreciate the feedback, even if they won’t let me publish it.

And if you haven’t written in yet … what’s stopping you? Drop me a line at [email protected] and let me know how you’re doing out there in this crazy bull market.

That’s a wrap for today. But if you’re still craving more Great Stuff, you can check us out on social media: Facebook, and Twitter.

Until next time, good trading!

Regards,

Joseph Hargett

Great Stuff Editor, Banyan Hill Publishing

#Timor Invest

[gokinjeespot]

off the rack #1248

Monday, February 4, 2019

 Who won Super Bowl 53? I don't know. Sunday was spent at the Capital Trade Show selling more comic books. It's a lot of work and I was pooped by the end of the day. I went to bed in the middle of the third quarter with the Patriots leading 3 to nothing and the Rams unable to get any offence going. Congratulations to whichever team won.

 Tomorrow is Chinese New Year. I wish you all a happy and healthy Year of the Pig. I must remember not to wash my hair. Ancient Chinese tradition. Oink.

 Action Comics #1007 - Brian Michael Bendis (writer) Steve Epting (art) Brad Anderson (colours) Josh Reed (letters). Leviathan Rises part 1. A new story starts here. Brian brings the big Hydra menace from the Marvel U to the DCU by featuring the rise of Kobra to keep Superman busy. Lois reveals a HUGE secret that I'm sure will have ramifications in the future. I think Steve Epting is underrated. His work on Velvet with Ed Brubaker was outstanding so you should check this out. It's pretty much all set up, but it's good to get on the ground floor so that you know what's going on.

 Wyrd #1 - Curt Pires (writer) Antonio Fuso (art) Stefano Simeone (colours) Micah Myers (letters). I decided to read this because Antonio Fuso does a very good imitation of Michael Gaydos art. The art isn't the only thing that I found familiar. This new character reminded me of John Constantine with the smoking and mysterious powers. Wyrd is definitely weird but there was nothing new here to make me want to find out more about the man.

 Marvel Knights #6 - Donny Cates (writer) Kim Jacinto & Travel Foreman (pencils) Kim Jacinto & Richard Friend (inks) Matt Milla (colours) VC's Cory Petit (letters). This 6-issue mini started out with such promise but I felt like it ended with a whimper. The heroes win and everything goes back to normal, the end. This is the kind of ending that makes fans regret spending all that time and money reading a story.

 The Unstoppable Wasp #4 - Jeremy Whitley (writer) Gurihiru (art) VC's Joe Caramagna (letters). Bell is doing its "let's talk" campaign today (Wednesday, January 30) to bring attention to mental health issues. I wonder if it's a coincidence that this comic book has Nadia acting manic trying to solve everyone's problems. Joe earned his pay cheque this issue with all the dialogue and captions.

 Betty & Veronica #2 - Jamie Lee Rotante (writer) Sandra Lanz (art) Kelly Fitzpatrick (colours) Jack Morelli (letters). They lost me with this issue. I don't mind  a bit of soap opera drama in a story about two best friends but the situations that the girls are put in seemed too contrived for my liking. I would have been more forgiving if the art appealed to me more and stuck around to finish the 5-issue mini but I can't.

 Age of X-Men Alpha #1 - Zac Thompson & Lonnie Nadler (writers) Ramon Rosanas (art) Triona Farrell (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). First of all, I loved the art in this $4.99 US one shot. It's clean and crisp and the colours are solid and pretty. Imagine a world where everyone is a mutant. No more being feared and hated. Homo Superior has finally found its Utopia. You know how long that's going to last right? This story spins out into 6 new books hitting the racks every week. Here they are in order: The Marvelous X-Men, Nextgen, The Amazing Nightcrawler, X-Tremists, Prisoner X and Apocalypse & The X-Tracts. X-Fans are going to have to take out a loan to keep up. I am no longer a follower of the team but this looks like an interesting possible future for mutants if you're so inclined.

 Heroes in Crisis #5 - Tom King (writer) Clay Mann (art) Clayton Cowles (letters). We're still no closer to finding out who killed those super heroes but that sure is a nice speech that Superman gave to reassure people. His message is that super heroes can suffer from mental health issues but don't worry folks. I would be scared if we were depending on Booster Gold and Harley Quinn to save the day.

 Man Without Fear #5 - Jed MacKay (writer) Danilo S. Beyruth (art) Andres Mossa (colours) VC's Clayton Cowles (letters). This final issue tells us what pain is for. For Matt Murdock it keeps him going. He's like a Timex watch. Takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'. This is an example of a story that overcame my aversion to art that I wasn't fond of. I really wanted to find out how Matt gets back to fighting form. I'll read Daredevil #1 when it hits the racks February 6 with the hope that the relaunch will bring me back to the fold of devil worshippers.

 Doctor Strange #10/LGY #400 - Mark Waid (writer) Jesus Saiz (art) VC's Cory Petit (letters). I get that Marvel wants to make the 400th issue of this title a special edition with added material but I would have rather paid $3.99 US for just the main story without having to shell out $5.99 US for the filler stories in the back. The main story amused me with its similarity to an episode of the TV show "The Good Place" with Doctor Strange having an encounter with the Head Accountant. Just as with Life, the only certainty with Magic is taxes and death. If you don't pay your magical taxes, you're dead. Here are the back-up stories in case you're interested.

"House Call" with Butch Guice (art) and Carlos Lopez (colours) teaches a lesson about bullies.

"The Lever" with Kevin Nowlan (art) and Jim Campbell (colours) rehashes the origin story where Stephen meets The Ancient One and Baron Mordo.

"Perchance" with Daniel Acuna (art) has the good Doctor dealing with the bad Nightmare.

Plus a two-page pin-up by Tom Palmer. I wish it had been one drawn by the retired George Perez.

[garynsmith]

Battling insurance: The dark side of disaster recovery

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I’m working on a new weekly email featuring my thoughts on the industry and more. Check out the last one, “Ending 155 years of real estate scams” here. Send me feedback at [email protected]. And if you would like this in your inbox, sign up here:

Twenty-six years ago next week, one of the worst residential fires in U.S. history wiped out 2,843 single-family homes and 437 apartments as it swept across the Oakland, California, hills.

In 18 hours, the wildfire left 25 people dead and caused $1.5 billion in damage.

Just a couple of days after the fire, 75-year old George Boero, 1000watt co-founder Brian Boero’s grandfather, left a note in his next door neighbor’s mailbox declaring his plans to rebuild the house that he and his gritty wife Lu built in the 1950s and lost in the 1991 fire.

The couple did just that, and they were some of the first to move back into the charred East Bay neighborhood, which has been completely rebuilt to become one of the hottest real estate markets in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Destroyed homes left in the wake of the Oakland Hills firestorm. Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

In the face of disaster, human resilience and determination to move forward is a marvel to watch.

As a journalist, I wrote stories about post-disaster rebuilding in places like Oakland and San Francisco after the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake; Los Angeles after the 1994 Northridge earthquake; and Phuket after the 2004 Tsunami in Thailand.

I was always struck by people’s fierce will to rebuild. In Thailand, old people and young children with buckets and shovels removed debris one brick at a time as they prepared their land for reconstructing new huts and homes.

After many tears, people sort through their broken lives. Then, they charge ahead to resuscitate a new version of their old homes and communities. Governments, non-profits and relief efforts work tirelessly to help, but at some point people are left to fend for themselves.

And then comes the dark side of the recovery.

Recalescent insurance companies often fall short of their obligations. They put on a benevolent community face when the press is covering the disaster. But when journalists move onto the next big story, insurers often begin to grind down their customers to minimize the payouts on legitimate claims. While they should behave like partners, insurers often become antagonists with their own customers.

Back in the day, the first thing a big insurance company did after a disaster was size up its damages. It then worked backwards from that number to minimize its losses that might exceed its financial targets. That often meant nickel-and-diming customers to squeeze whatever it could into its financial scheme.

For many property victims I talked to over the years, the bureaucratic anguish of negotiating with an insurance adjuster can be as stressful as the natural disaster. Endless requests for paperwork and documentation slows down the payouts. Some homeowners are often so worn down that they negotiate smaller settlements than they should.

Posing to be on the lookout for fraud, the adjusters and their companies treat everyday customers more like criminals than clients.

An exception to this sordid history was the Oakland fire. With a high concentration of outspoken lawyers and activists, area residents held the insurance companies to task and persuaded municipal governments to forgo property taxes and offer other generous benefits.

It was a blueprint for other communities to follow. Volunteerism to help disaster victims must turn into activism if insurance companies and governments are to be held accountable.

If Oakland was a blueprint, Hurricane Andrew, which hit the Florida coast one year later, was a case study for a post-disaster insurance catastrophe.

Dubbed a “mega-catastrophe” by the insurance industry like Hurricane Katrina and 9/11, Andrew hit Southern Florida in August of 1992. It was the costliest natural disaster in U.S. history before Katrina. The hurricane wiped out whole communities, leaving a wasteland in its wake. Eleven property insurers became insolvent due to Hurricane Andrew.

Claims far exceeded the insurance industry’s ability to honor its obligations and those still in business played hard ball with its customers.

That insurance mess caused the industry to change how it thought about disaster coverage, including requiring large deductibles on future policies. But it didn’t stop dubious behavior.

National Public Radio published an investigative piece last year on the corruption surrounding the recovery and insurance company antics after Hurricane Sandy in the Northeast.

Flood insurance is a public program, administered by private insurance companies who were accused by NPR of paying out as little as possible to save the government money. All the while, the fee-based insurance companies made off with an estimated $400 million in profits, according to NPR.

In the aftermath of four major natural disasters in the last month — Houston, Puerto Rico, South Florida and now Napa and Sonoma — plans to rebuild have already begun. And insurance companies are wringing their hands, plotting their next moves.

The real estate industry has been a dutiful volunteer force, helping these communities withstand the pain of epic disasters. But now they should turn into activists to help their neighbors figure out the insurance and rebuilding roadmap ahead.

The real work begins.

Email Brad Inman

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