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alicepao13 · 4 months

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I'm going to write a long ass thing about the Hudson and Rex show through the seasons, inspired by the rewatch posts that I've been seeing. It's not a review, though. It's just how I saw it from my point of view. Also, I reserve the right to make "The Great Hudson and Rex Rewatch of [insert year]" tag if and when I rewatch it and review episodes individually then.

So, if anyone followed this blog circa early 2020 (pre pandemic), I'd probably made a "Oh my god there is a new Rex adaptation and this time it's in English!" post. I don't remember it, but I know I'd told quite a few people online and off when I had found out. Also, so lame that I found out when they were already in S2 but anyway.

Right off the bat, I realized that the people making Hudson and Rex had not quite understood the assignment. The premise of the show and the cases were never meant to be light and fluffy like the dog. Instead, the dog was supposed to be the counterweight, the uplifting part. Most cases were supposed to be grimy and dark. Creepy. With bad guys that would make your skin crawl. Instead, Hudson and Rex mostly had bad guys that were pretty tame, aside from a few notable exceptions. And they put a guy on the helm of this show that was previously scripting kid shows, I mean, that's enough to tell me they weren't meaning to get deep into it.

It's also why for me the show got way better after S2 (when they changed showrunners). Which was, let's face it, ginormous and never ending (not having any info on when it was supposed to end also had made it seem that way from my part, as literally no tv scheduler of mine had that info back then). To be fair, another reason was because I wasn't invested at the time, and I wasn't invested because I'd seen how light the show was and how unwilling everyone involved was to go a bit deeper into it (from the writers to the producers to the cast). And I think I initially noticed a few signs that that was changing in S3, which allowed me to get more invested into it. [Note: I still maintain that the last few episodes aside from the finale of S2 were pretty good, but they aired at a point where I was already wondering where the hell the season ended.]

Onward to season 3. For a season that had been produced in a difficult period of time under difficult circumstances, with Covid and the crime shows being accused of copaganda, a few, let's say, unusual choices were made. Still, that season was better and way more interesting than the other two. And not as long, which helped. Again, the premise of the show was never supposed to be 20 episodes per season, it is very taxing on the cast, on the dog, and to everyone who has to perform and do their best in a shorter amount of time. So, S3 had 16 episodes, and it fared better. There were stakes, they played a bit more with the romance between Charlie and Sarah, things were moving. Somewhat.

Kudos to them for electing not to put Covid in their world. I'm not necessarily against that but I didn't need it to be inserted into every show I was watching. Also, kudos to them for Charlie's new house, it's really nice (although I will repeat that I'm not sure how exactly he could afford it).

And then we get to season 4, and boy oh boy, have I ever misjudged a season so much. I mean, if it hadn't been so poorly executed, I'd have said that it was all my fault for being impatient. Do you ever see how things will turn out early on, guess all the major plot points that would happen, and then say to yourself, "No, that's not it, because there's no way they'd do such and such and such to make that happen, it's so stupid"? This is what happened here. And I'm not sure what had frustrated me more back then, that I had thought I'd been wrong about where S4 was headed or that the more we were hitting the plot points that I had anticipated would happen, the more disjointed the story was becoming. Like an orchestra that was playing a known score out of tune the entire time. I'm not sure whether I'd choose the word dissonance or discordance for it, but if we were to isolate the moments, they were actually good. The angst was good. The pining, very good. But as a whole, it didn't always make sense and that was frustrating, as it made it hard to guess everyone's intentions and motive behind their actions.

A lot of my issues had to do with how they were writing Sarah's character as well in that season because as an audience, I should know whether she had actually truly tried to move on from her crush on Charlie or she was dating because she didn't think her feelings were reciprocated and Michael was just... there. That would have made a difference. But I suspect that it was very intentional to not give anything away, though that doesn't mean I have to like it or more importantly that it was executed in a sensible way. Charlie's spiral into what in other shows would have endangered his career (not here, though, no, sir) was great and I would have liked to have seen way more of that, and more of his friends worrying about him, and more of him pulling away from everyone and having that acknowledged. I'd have liked to see him more upset too. More importantly, I'd have liked to see a real reason for his character regression other than "the girl I like doesn't like me back :'( " like for example, the dozens of times he had been in a traumatizing situation. That, combined with what he assumed was unrequited feelings, would have made a perfect cocktail of explosive emotions.

To be honest, I don't understand why the perception of the fandom to this day is the same as it was when we were going through the episodes of S4 because post season clarity offers a different perspective entirely. It's understandable to be upset when you watch it unfold in real time. That's what the rewatches are for, to see the season as a whole. Yes, a few decisions on the script were hare-brained [I still don't understand how Sarah went from "I forgive you Michael for lying to me about important stuff and we're good and making headway in our relationship" to "I don't know where this is going" in two episodes, and the only logical (non-episode shuffling) explanation is that she was just waiting for Charlie to express his feelings, whom in her place I'd have punched and refuse to call a friend anymore if he had waited to find the courage, or more like the audacity, to express his feelings just as he thought he was losing the woman he wanted to another man when said woman was free a few months ago]. But to me, the emotions the episodes elicited regarding their relationship were always more like "oh these damn fools don't see what's right in front of them" and not "I want to stop watching this bullshit right now". It is actually very similar to Castle's S4, although the execution on Castle did not make me want to cuss Andrew Marlowe. With Peter Mitchell, well, I can't say the same thing.

Anyway, as we can probably safely assume right now, a lot of their relationship and whether it would progress or not had been hanging on a wire. The actual cliffhanger and some of the interviews pretty much confirm that theory. And I assume that probably influenced the execution too. So, I'm giving it a bit of slack.

Going on to S5, we flat-lined and I'll explain that. I'd have liked to be able to say that it was better than S4 but it wasn't. It wasn't worse either but it was really bland at times. And it gave me the impression that they were given more episodes than they could handle. I'll say it again, this show should never have 20 episodes ever again, it puts a big strain on everyone.

What was good about S5 was that it gave characters other than Charlie and Rex, mainly Joe and Jesse, a few more moments to shine. It also had one of the best season finales of the show so far. No, I don't need a character in danger of dying every time to call it a good finale, but I do need the season finale to be intense and high stakes. Which did not happen in S2, S3, and damn, I don't even know which one to call season finale in S1. Imagine that.

They wasted two perfectly good episodes for me by making up an entire set of new characters for a two-parter that I could have sworn was serving as backdoor pilot, but wasn't. I still don't know what that was. Again, the only logical explanation was that they were given episodes (and money) that they didn't know how to put to good use. Those were two pretty good episodes that could be a part of most crime shows, but they were not Hudson and Rex episodes. Not if we consider the premise of this show. Everyone was separated, Charlie was off doing his own thing (I won't get into availability issues, as a production it is most embarrassing to not be able to find a viable schedule for your main lead and I refuse to cut any production slack for that), and Rex was literally thrown to the wolves.

The most bland part for me in S5 was the middle. The pace of the episodes really struggled there. And then suddenly it moved in what I saw as an accelerated pace, the two-parter and the last four episodes seemed like they had come out of a different show or different season, if you were to look at the mellow pace of the season up to that point.

Again, I must note the lack of transferability of emotions, consequences, experiences, etc., from one season to the next. However, I must also say that they made a bit more of an effort to bring back people, characters, and storylines in S5 to remind us of past seasons, even though they mainly stuck to the small things.

For me, it was a big mistake to make Charlie be the perfect guy again after S4. He had been struggling, and no one can convince me that behaviors such as what he had exhibited before were only because he was feeling rejected and was "cured" like magic in the next season. And it shouldn't be that way, he has gone through some serious stuff, which the show is trying to downplay all the time.

Also, the cop's "white whale" case is a pretty common trope. It should be decided by the writers before the scripting of S1. Otherwise, we have them not reacting appropriately to the dozens of similar cases that they come across until the writers decide what the cop's white whale case is supposed to be. Taking a couple of seasons to write it is usual. Deciding that in S5? I've personally never seen it happen and I've been watching crime shows for more than two decades now. Retconning is a huge favorite with the writers of this show.

Charlie and Sarah's relationship development was a big feature in S5, and it was mostly good stuff. I didn't like that they didn't have one fight but their stability was also nice. And when I say one fight, I dislike manufactured drama that comes out of nowhere but there are so many significant reasons, especially when they keep getting in danger, to have a fight. Now that I'm thinking about it, the tagline of S5 should be "stability".

Jesse growing up and going for detective was something I wasn't expecting, and you can also see the progress of that storyline somewhat in S5, and Joe coming to terms with the fact that Jesse can do this. He was pretty much the last one that needed to be convinced of this, the way I see it.

I'm refraining from making comments about S6 since we've only watched 6 episodes. I want to see where that ends up. The only comment I'll make regarding that is that I don't think the production company cares much about anything other than Charlie and Rex, it's basically up to individual writers and the showrunner to write anything else, and, regardless of how fans perceive S4, we should be glad to have had someone like Peter Mitchell at the helm of the show, who made any kind of meaningful change between Charlie and Sarah, because it doesn't seem like anybody else was willing to put their ass on the line for those two.

All in all, this is a show that it seems to me like from the start, not a lot of people believed in it, despite evidence that people in the other side of the world had once loved it (and since it already had another adaptation, I'd have called it a safe bet). It's certainly in a better place now than it was when it had its first season, it terms of production, performance, and creativity, and I think that sometimes we forget that because we've watched like 90 episodes. No, it doesn't always meet my expectations but maybe I also shouldn't compare it to the dozens of shows I've watched which certainly have a bigger budget than this one, which don't depend on dog tricks to get people's attention (I don't say this to make fun of the show, dog tricks is what they do, it's like half of the show). But I also cannot refrain from criticizing mistakes that could have easily been avoided, had they made a little more effort.

#hudson and rex #holy shit that got away from me #not my best work in terms of cohesion #also not much rex in there and that's because I never have an issue with their partnership or the dog stunts and such they are good #the issues are like everything else lol #the 'human and dog solve crimes' aspect is usually pretty good #but you need to blend it well with the rest of the ingredients to make something nice

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pipermca · 4 months

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Writing Year in Review - 2023

I have to say, 2023 was an odd year for me.

I finally made it to TFCon again (after taking a long hiatus during the pandemic), and it was absolutely lovely to see everyone. I got to meet some new folks face-to-face, and meet up again with people I'd met in 2019. Spouse came with me this time, and he had a pretty good time (despite only being a TF fan via osmosis).

We did no other travel, though. Part of that was because we got a new cat, so we're back to needing to make kenneling arrangements before going anywhere. And as much of a joy as our cat is, that has made travel a little more inconvenient.

I had some major disruptions at work this year, completely upending the end of my summer and start of fall. As a direct result of this, the coming year is going to be extremely challenging work-wise as I get caught up on some things. Hopefully by late summer 2024, the pressure will be off and I can relax again (back into my usual level of work-related stress).

I also had my first round of Covid in 2023, which absolutely sucked. F minus, not recommended. I came very close to going to the ER during the worst of it, and the aftermath continued to kick my ass for months. The fatigue and brain fog was real, but the other health issues that it produced are still with me. Thank god for vaccines; I don't know how things might have gone if I hadn't been vaccinated.

In the coming year, I am going to try to focus on being kind to myself, both mentally and physically. Part of that is going to include the expectations I'm setting for myself for writing.

In December, I wrote 5,500 words, most of it in the story I've started posting, A Matter of Propriety. The story is still being posted (and I need to finish writing it!!) and I'm hoping to keep up my once-a-week posting schedule. If I can't make good progress on the next chapter this week, I'll probably drop into an every-other-week schedule instead, just so I can maintain my chapter buffer. (The story will likely have eight chapters total.)

For the year, in 2023 I wrote 62,502 words. Most of that was on A Matter of Propriety and Again and Again and Again (my TF Big Bang fic). However, I only posted 24,184 words to AO3, split between 4 completed works. (A Matter of Propriety will finish in 2024, so its stats will eventually count for that year.)

Most months I didn't set a specific word count goal, and that's ok. But possibly as a result, my output was all over the map. The two major peaks are in April (when I did the bulk of my Big Bang fic writing), and July (when I got a smutty fic idea and banged (hah) it out really quick).

Like always, my average words per hour is pretty consistent, although not as much as in previous years. Still, it shows that when I do sit down and write, I get consistent work done.

As I mentioned, I didn't make specific writing goals most months, but when I did, I never reached them. That tells me I am setting my goals too high, and I need to be more realistic.

As for the goals I set for myself for 2023, I did pretty awful. 😅 Again, I think I was just setting expectations too high for myself.

Finish Sun and Moon (working title) Nope. I barely worked on it at all.

Finish one Sparkr story (any of my bunnies or WIPs!) In progress? Call this 50%.

Write two comic scripts for practice Nope.

Make more progress in IDW2 reviews Nope, 0% progress made.

Finish The King and the Bounty Hunter Barely worked on this, either, so no.

Rewrite/repost stories that I took down. Call this 50% done.

When chatting about this with a friend last night, I realized that THREE of my goals were basically "finish this longfic." Considering how much brainpower longfics take, it's no wonder I failed. So as part of my "be kind to myself" vision statement 😅 I'm going to focus on do-able goals, with one "stretch" longfic goal.

Write two comic scripts for practice

Finish reposting taken-down fics

Write and post three one-shots

Start posting Sun and Moon (working title)

My rationale for these is: I really want to practice scriptwriting. I really want to finish getting those old fics back up in a better format. I LOVE the instant quick gratification of getting a short story written and posted. And the stretch goal is to start posting Sun and Moon. If I'm starting to post it, that means I am confident about finishing it. ✨

Behind the cut is the first sentence of each of the stories I posted (sans the reposted fics, since those were all backdated to their original posting dates), and the month it was posted in. I wish everyone a happy and safe 2024!

August. Sharing is Caring. "That's it… There you go." The words were whispered into Bluestreak's audial.

August. Plans in Plans. The tiny dot in the distance grew in size as it approached, until Megatron's optics were able to resolve it into the shape of a Seeker.

September. Again and Again and Again. Create log file.

November. A Nice Set of Wheels. "So who is this guy, again?" Mirage asked, slipping between a box truck and a van.

December. A Matter of Propriety. Orion picked up his comm pad for approximately the thousandth time since being shown to his table, and checked it for messages.

#progress report #year in review #on writing

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rogueshadeaux · 11 months

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An update regarding inFAMOUS: Erosion

Hey there! Rogue here, and I have something regarding inFAMOUS Erosion that I wish to tell you all about so as not to blindside you.

(Now, stop panicking, first off lol.)

I got married in the height of the pandemic; everyone in my family has autoimmune issues (even my poor cat is asthmatic) and my then-boyfriend at the time and I wanted to cover as many bases as possible, especially since I was pregnant. So our five year plan became a five week one, and we got married. No wedding, no reception, just us on the courthouse steps with a judge (we weren't even allowed in) and then take out after. While neither of us cared about a wedding, we never got to go on a honeymoon, and that was always something we strived for down the line. COVID-19 took so much from so many of us, and my family was no exception.

Well, the parasite that was in my womb is now two years old, the oldest is becoming an adventurous spirit, and we've decided it's time to put that savings account to good use and make this a family affair. We've booked not only two separate trips, but a series of events all throughout July and August so we may 'live it up' in lieu of time and chances missed.

And I plan on going on hiatus while we do so.

I fear I won't be able to keep up with the word count and deliver a quality tale on time, and would rather make sure I don't burn myself out trying to perform on top of everything else we have planned. It's also always healthy to take a break! And I feel I have the perfect midpoint prepared to pause and give you all an 'intermission' of sorts before returning. I know it's always so so scary to hear an author is going on hiatus, because really, that's the preamble to an orphaned fic; so I want to assure you that where I will stop the story before disappearing is 104,404 — and the current fic is at 136k words. There's still passion for the project, and it will probably be worked on in the lull time of my hiatus; but that gap between where I've posted and where I am is closing, and I don't want it to get any closer. And I fear trips and concerts and museums and events and a wild summer is simply the perfect storm to be caught in — and to lose my way in the kicked up dust.

"So then...what does that mean?"

I will be posting up to Chapter Twenty, with a two-chapter 'mid-season finale' as I've been jokingly calling it on the 9th and 10th of July. After that, I will be going on hiatus until September 11th, 2023. Another Monday, per the usual. I am beyond excited for this second half; I finally feel like I can dive into the real meat of the story. Once I hit that midpoint, every piece of foreshadow and worldbuilding is on the table. The big turning point that'll propel the second half of Erosion will be revealed. I'll be moving on from whittling the wood to manipulating the marionette, and you have no idea how hyped I am to really give you the tale I'm trying to spin. The sad thing is, I've still gotta spin it, and I fear I won't be able to dedicate myself as well as I should in order to really give this idea in my head the honor it deserves. And of course, what you deserve too; I'm a freelance editor. If I put anything out there that sucks, I will off myself lol.

"Will you be disappearing too?"

Nah. Probably not. I'm chronically online and legally/medically can't drive, so I gotta do something on the car/plane rides. There are two one shots in my google docs I might push out in the meantime, an art commission planned, and of course, I will always supply memes and share other inFAMOUS pieces that my dear friends are putting out. There's so much newfound chatter in the inFAMOUS fandom that I feel confident I could step back for two months and you wouldn't even miss me! It's truly breathtaking to see this fandom returning like this. If you put things into perspective, while two months seems so goddamn long — that's 4 chapter updates. That's it!! That's all I'm gonna be gone for!!

"What if you finish Erosion while you're gone?"

God, that'd be the day, wouldn't it? I'll definitely freak the fuck out and post nonstop on Tumblr, so if I do, you'll know lol. If by some stroke of a miracle I finish Erosion while I'm gone, I will still be on hiatus until September 11th. I need a goddamn vacation. But upon returning, if I am either done or very close to done, I plan on upping my schedule to a weekly posting system. If not, biweekly until that point.

So, that's my advance warning for you all: I plan on stepping away, but it will not be permanent. I can't disappear from this fandom the moment it's beginning to return! That'd truly be insane!

While I am gone, check out @conduiitz'/@kraftledare's Shattered, a comic of a Glass Conduit looking for his best friend in a post-apocalyptic wasteland; @codenamehazard's No Man's Land, an Evil Karma Cole MacGrath AU that follows the Beast as he explores the Wildlands of the Great Plains and the society Conduits have created in it; and @cedar990's Equilibrium, where Light Conduit — and DUP Agent — Ezra Sims tries to throttle the plans of the rising Dust Men in Nova City.

And keep an eye out when you read; you might catch a certain pair of Conduit twins playing around in the backgrounds of these stories! They need a break too, after all.

I want to thank you for your understanding and for all the time you've dedicated so far to hearing me tell this story. I've truly enjoyed every second of it, and cannot wait for more. Tsiikohtaahsi'tsihp amohk aohkanoo'p — which in my tribe's language means I'm so happy we've all gathered here; it's given me a chance to tell a tale I never thought anyone would care about, and to watch the embers of this grand video game franchise be fanned enough to reignite. I love this community and will be itching to return the moment I declare official hiatus status, I just know it.

But until then, let's finish the first half of inFAMOUS: Erosion!

#infamous erosion #going Rogue

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thebuzztrack · 10 months

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A Review of 'The Flash' (2023)

Toward the beginning, Barry tells a maternity nurse to speak with a mental health professional because the Justice League is not good at such a thing. This made me sad, given the context of the real-life issues with Ezra Miller in recent years and the toxic workplace environment described by Ray Fisher after the Justice League movie was released. On its own, the story of The Flash is a fun twist on an origin story by utilizing the Flashpoint Paradox concept as a premise. We are introduced to Bary’s origin story, the introduction to the DC multiverse, and the appearance of Reverse Flash. For the downsides, I believe the CGI babies in the opening sequence and CGI Speedforce for the rest of the movie are horrendously rendered. It’s like a rough draft animatic instead of a final rendering for a multi-million dollar movie project. I am giving it a mid rating for being a mixed bag of results. A review point is given for bringing back Michael Keaton as Batman. Another review point is given for containing all the cameo appearances, even though some are extremely bad CGI reconstructions. And a final review point is given for the story arc being emotionally engaging but avoiding the usual tropes that would be easy bait to include in this type of story. My last words would be to admit shamefully I like Emo Kara. When will she start an emo band and name it All Kryptonian Rejects?

The Flash (2023) is a superhero film that adapts the popular DC comic book storyline Flashpoint, in which Barry Allen, aka The Flash, uses his super speed to travel back in time and save his mother from being murdered. However, his actions have unforeseen consequences, as he creates a new timeline where General Zod has conquered Earth where no other superheroes exist. To restore his original reality, Barry must team up with an older Bruce Wayne, who has retired from being Batman, and a young Kara Zor-El, the last survivor of Krypton.

The film is directed by Andy Muschietti, best known for his horror films It (Part One and Two) and Mama. The screenplay is written by Christina Hodson, who also penned Birds of Prey (2020) and Bumblebee (2018). The film stars Ezra Miller as Barry Allen, Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne, Sasha Calle as Kara Zor-El, Michael Shannon as General Zod, Ron Livingston as Henry Allen, Maribel Verdú as Nora Allen, Kiersey Clemons as Iris West, Antje Traue as Faora-Ul, and Jeremy Irons as Alfred Pennyworth.

The intention of this movie is expected to be a game-changer for the DCEU, as it formally introduces the concept of the multiverse into the DC movies universe, which allows for different versions of the same characters to coexist in multiple realities. The film also marks the return of Michael Keaton as Batman, who previously played the character in Tim Burton’s Batman (1989) and Batman Returns (1992). Keaton’s Batman is said to be a mentor figure for Barry and Kara.

The movie had been in studio production development with Warner Bros for over a decade, with various writers and directors attached and departed over the years. The original plan for a release date was supposed to be in 2018 but got delayed multiple times due to creative differences, production issues, the COVID-19 pandemic, post-production setbacks, and controversies surrounding Ezra Miller. The film finally began filming in April 2021 in London and wrapped up in October 2021. The film’s first trailer was released at DC FanDome in October 2021, generating positive buzz among fans and critics.

youtube

#movies #ray fisher #ezra miller #andy muschietti #warner bros #review #comics #the flash #batman #michael keaton #supergirl #sasha calle #Youtube

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realmadridfamily · 2 years

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On May 28th, Madridistas had a wonderful night in Paris as their club won another Champions League shortly after becoming Champions of Primera Division. One of the heroes of this historic triumph was Dani Carvajal, defender of Real Madrid. Despite all the joys of wearing the number 2, the footballer off the pitch finds happiness in number 24. On this day in October 2018, he began a relationship with Daphne Cañizares, a former model and stewardess born in Mallorca. Also on December 24, he proposed to her after the birth of their first child, son Martín. They both decided that also on the 24th, this time in June 2022, their wedding would take place. They are announcing it in HOLA! and tell about their story. During these four years they created a dream family, which also includes four nice dogs: chihuahua Bartolo and Luna, the poodle Pepe and the greyhound Gus. In an interview with HOLA! they couldn't be more proud of their achievements.

HOLA: A special moment awaits you. DANI: Yes, we will get married on June 24. DAPHNE: It will be a civil wedding and the ceremony will take place in an estate outside Madrid. HOLA: It will be a big celebration? DANI: We have limited the topic of invitations. We want a very personal wedding that the guests will also like, that will make them happy and that will also be a gratitude to them. DAPHNE: There will be between 200 and 250 people. HOLA: There's not much time left. How are you going through this waiting time? DAPHNE: With great nerves, although everything is already closed. It remains to enjoy family and friends by celebrating love. HOLA: Who is more nervous? DANI: It's more evident in Daphne, but I'm nervous too. HOLA: Daphne, you already have a wedding dress? DAPHNE: Yes. Alejandro de Miguel prepared two dresses for me. When I saw the dress, I saw myself in it and got emotional. It was like a dream because I saw the dress I always dreamed of and always wanted. HOLA: Can you tell us any details? DAPHNE: It will be white! [laughs] It will be traditional. This is not the style that brides are choosing now, very loose or even hippie. I always wanted to be a traditional bride. HOLA: Will your little son Martín play a special role in the ceremony? DAPHNE: He is too small to carry wedding rings, but will play a role. It will be very emotional. HOLA: Many couples have had to postpone their wedding days due to the pandemic. Was it the same with you? DAPHNE: No. We first wanted to be parents, and I got pregnant at the very beginning of the pandemic. We had more time for the baby then. Everything was programmed perfectly [laughs]. DANI: Last year it was not possible due to COVID and EURO, although in the end I did not go because of injuries. Also Martín was still very little. This summer was perfect. DAPHNE: This date is also special for us. On the 24th we started a relationship, on the 24th he asked me to marry him, and on the 24th we will get married. HOLA: Is it a coincidence? DANI: The beginning of a relationship and a marriage proposal yes. And we could arrange the wedding for two dates and finally we chose 24th. HOLA: The Real Madrid family will also be joining you on such a special day? DANI: Yes. Because of my very good relations with my teammates, I invited everyone. Of course, I understand that this is the holiday period and we have very few days to rest, so not everyone will be able to come. HOLA: Dani, you are on a gluten and lactose free diet. You also don't eat red meat. This will affect the wedding? DANI: Yes, we have put together a special allergen-free menu. I have a certain gluten intolerance and I am also not comfortable with the milk which causes my muscle inflammation. Among the invited guests there are people who have excluded some products from the diet. HOLA: Your honeymoon? DAPHNE: If we go anywhere, it will be with our son. We don't want to separate for that long. HOLA: We talked about the proposal ... how did it all look like? DAPHNE: He did it on Christmas Eve 2020. It was beautiful because our whole family was there. Martín was just born and I was in heaven. That's why I didn't expect it. Dani wished the whole family his best wishes and suddenly got down on his knees [laughs]. HOLA: So he did it in front of the whole family? DAPHNE: Yes, everyone went crazy then. They hugged, cried ... it was beautiful. HOLA: Dani is a romantic? DAPHNE: Yes, but in hiw own way. When we're alone, he's very romantic, but it costs him more to open up to people. He is very affectionate towards me and is very committed to the relationship. He really cares a lot to me. HOLA: How did you meet? DAPHNE: It was a long time ago. Dani played with my brother-in-law in Castilla. My brother-in-law is Joselu, who plays for Alavés. They have always had a great relationship. Dani even visited my nephew when he was born. We saw each other and we knew each other ... until there was a conversation. DANI: Then I realized that we are both alone. DAPHNE: First came interest, then love. It all started on October 24, 2018. HOLA: What would you say about each other? DAPHNE: I can say a lot about Dani, but above all, I would like to emphasize that he is very good-natured. He is very worried about others, especially family and friends. He is very sensitive and very attached to what he has. He achieves what he wants. He is very professional at the same time. Not only at work, but also in his personal life. He's a very good man ... He has many good qualities [laughs]. DANI: You brought me to the heavens. DAPHNE: That's all true. And above all, he is very intelligent. He knows everything. DANI: Well, I like culture. I like knowledge. In Daphne, I distinguish her naturalness and way of looking at life in which she gives herself entirely to the people she loves, her partner and her family. We make a very special couple. When we had only been dating for a month or two, I told my best friend, "I have found the woman of my life." HOLA: Your life must have changed completely when Martin was born. DAPHNE: Yes, because your life is no longer based on your needs, but on the child's. We live for him and thanks to him. We want to be very present in his life. HOLA: Let me tell you something ... he seems like a poster boy! DAPHNE: He seems to be a little Dutch [laughs]. My mom is from the Netherlands and we got all the blonde genes out of her. However, he also has things from his dad, like a face. HOLA: Does he also like to kick a ball? DANI: Yes. He wants the ball all the time. I would like him to get interested in sport, because in the end it communicates fantastic values. Well, we'll see if he can become a great footballer. It would be fun, but we don't really think about it too much either ... DAPHNE: We're not going to force him to do anything. HOLA: Is he talking already? DANI: Yes. He says "mommy" and "daddy". HOLA: How did you react when he called you for the first time? DANI: It was a great moment. Also interesting, because he starts to say something under his breath and I don't know if he said it "daddy" or not ... But he can answer now and when you ask him where dad is and he points at you, it's something beautiful . These are great emotions. HOLA: Dani, Real Madrid have closed big season with a win in the Primera Division and in the Champions League. This is your best moment in your career? DANI: One of the best, yes. I think my team gives a lot more value to the Champions League after many years without winning it. We appreciate the work ourselves and how much this victory cost us. It is wonderful to see that 5 Champions Leagues have been won at the age of 30. However, I already feel the desire for more. I want to be an important part of this club's history. HOLA: This year has been very intense for you both with many Dani's injuries. Happily it seems you are back. DANI: I feel good physically and in terms of the game, that's true. I am grateful to Daphne for all her support. HOLA: Was it difficult to deal with injuries and those moments of doubt? DANI: For an athlete, injuries are the worst thing that can happen. However, it's part of the sport. You have to deal with it and learn from it. HOLA: 2022, it will be 20 years since you entered the Real Madrid Cantera. DANI: Exactly, I did it when I was 10. HOLA: Did you know that you will be so successful? DANI: Absolutely not. DAPHNE: I think he is still not aware of how much he has achieved. DANI: Even today ... we have one of the golden age of the club, but I always say that someday I will fully appreciate what we are going through now. HOLA: What do you remember from your childhood at Leganés? DANI: I remember that I loved competition. Both in games with friends and at school. I had to get the best grades. This is the basis of my life. I also remember that I dreamed of finally going out to the yard and playing football in the evening. HOLA: Daphne, do you like football? DAPHNE: Yes, I watch all the matches. I was a Real Madrid fan before, but now I watch matches with my heart on the pitch. I want my team to win, but I also want Dani to do as well as possible. Sometimes it's hard, but it's also beautiful. HOLA: Do you have a good relationship with other footballers' partners? DAPHNE: We are all super friends, but the ones I have the closest relations with are Mina Bonino (Federico Valverde) and Sandra Garal (Marco Asensio). I am also very close friends with Mishel Gerzig (Thibaut Courtois), who is our neighbor, Shalimar Heppner (David Alaba), María Cortés (Nacho Fernández), Macarena Rodríguez, (Lucas Vázquez), Luana (Rodrygo) and Karol (Eder Militão). We all have a very good relations. HOLA: On a family level ... how do you imagine your life in a few years? With many children? DAPHNE: We want two or three children. DANI: If the second baby will be a daughter, it may be over, but if it will be another boy, the chances are greater that the group will expand [laughs]. DAPHNE: We both wish we had lots of children, but it's a big responsibility and you don't stop suffering for a second. We are very focused on Martín right now.

#Martin Carvajal #Daphne Canizares #Dani Carvajal #Real Madrid #Wedding #Interview

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klefaeries · 2 years

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it’s quiet tonight. i hear nothing but the footsteps of the woman who lives above me as she walks around her kitchen telling her dog a story about a witch who loved a star, once upon a time. my living room echoes, the walls empty and devoid of myself and the soul i will soon hang up on the white plaster; all those tacky pictures of succulents and florals that have lived in the bottom of my closet for four years.

four years. four very long, very wild years, and you’ve already been gone for almost a full one of them. your collar has never left my side—once it left you, i put it in a little box on my bedroom dresser and rubbed the worn purple cloth until it felt like satin between my fingers, every single day. it’s on what will become my altar once everything else is in place. there’s an amethyst crystal between my tarot cards, the same color as the collar, and your bell is draped across it like the most noblest of pendants.

it’s quiet tonight, here in my own space at last, except for the muffled sniffles as i think about you. both from crying and covid—crazy to think i went basically the whole pandemic without getting it, only to wake up with it the day before i move out, huh? you would have sat on my chest during every struggling breath and every aching cough, even though such movements tended to irritate you and you would never fail to give me the most offended of glares.

you would be proud of me, i think. you were mine for sixteen years, but i’ll be yours for eternity. i wish you could have been here for this, to see that i finally did it, that i finally have a place to call my own (well, as much as renting an apartment can be considered “my own”) but i am glad you left when you did. you were so tired, so ready. a part of me is still selfish of course. how could it not? i had forgotten what life was like without you, and did not want to go back to that vast emptiness. but it was time. i still remember the feel of your head in my hand that one last time before you slipped away, you know. despite the pain you were in, limbs barely able to support your bird-thin skeleton, you still purred for me.

your picture is going up on a wall tomorrow. i haven’t decided which one. my new bedroom, so i can look at you every night before i close my eyes and every morning when the sun rises? the living room, so i can tell everyone who walks through the door hey that was my cat i got when i was ten, i named her after a pokemon haha. hell, maybe even the bathroom just to be that kind of idiot, even though i wouldn’t dare sully your memory in such a way.

four years. can you believe it? i’m still here, even though you’re not. four years after i thought my life was done, that i was going to fall apart kind of like paper does when you’ve left it out in the rain for too long. but i kept going, because i couldn’t leave you behind, and now you’ve left me behind and even though i fell in love with two new little friends who melt my heart every day with their silly little antics…i will never stop crying over you in the bathtub, or sitting at a red light for a few seconds longer than i should, or when i am moments from falling asleep and i feel a warm little body curling up beside me but i know the door is closed and neither freya nor loki made it into my room.

thank you for being my cat as long as you were, evie. i hope you’re proud of me. because here, four years after what i thought was the end of all things, on this quiet night, i am proud of me too.

#this is just me getting out some much needed emotional baggage #pay no mind to it #won’t even tag it as writing

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reveries-and-radiance · 1 year

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Physical abuse TW

No one to talk to about this. So I'm just gonna tell my whole life story here before I decide to do anything drastic.

I grew up with an emotionally and physically abusive mother who financially depended on me in the last few years of my highschool life. I studied hard and got accepted at the only out of district school they'd let me leave to so I could be away from her. I lived with my grandmother and studied while working 2 part time jobs and volunteering up until the pandemic happened. At this point, my mother had come to my grandmother's house and had been living there with us since the winter. By mid-August, I was completely back in a traumatic and controlling environment filled with rage and violence, as my grandmother and mother did not get along. We all fought a lot daily. At this point, I was still volunteering and was helping doing covid related work for my volunteer organization. I started looking for work to get me out of the house and was lucky to find a well paying job. Coupled with my funds I'd gotten from being laid off, I figured I had enough resources to leave after a particularly violent altercation with my mother about me volunteering too late one night (at this point I was 20 years old)

I got all of my things together to leave the following day to stay with my friend and my mother and grandmother assaulted me. I was beaten with a wooden rod, a metal canister and slammed onto the ground and sat on. They even put their arms over my nose and mouth so that I couldn't scream for my friends outside. It was one of the most terrifying moments I've experienced in recent years.

I got out and the following day filed a restraining order and got the rest of my things. Those first few weeks were incredibly difficult. I had a friend who said that he'd move away with me to help with rent costs as he wanted to leave his home too, but he changed his mind.

I found a place to live, moved and worked for a few months until I experienced sexual harrassment and discrimination at my job and then my contract was not renewed. After losing that job, I burned through all my savings, tried to work at other places I wasn't suited for and then eventually got another temporary position. After that job ended, I was completely drained and in a very depressed state as my friends all moved on to do other things with their lives. I was isolated, broke and vulnerable. I couldn't even afford to continue studying so I just stopped taking classes. I lived off of unemployment for almost a year during this time while waiting for my lease to end so I could move away with a friend I reconnected with. When the unemployment was almost up, I got a summer job and worked to save up money for the move. The friend who said they'd move away with me changed their mind and bought themselves an in development condo so that they could become a landlord and rent it out. I was devastated and the plans I'd made fell apart again. By then my current lease was up but I couldn't afford to move into a new place on my own so I decided to rent a room. When I finally found a seemingly decent place in a nice neighbourhood, I thought that everything would be okay.

The landlord at that house was an awful person to me. The house and my room became infested with gnats due to her plants. She brought in other tenants so the house was full of men and I was the only girl. I wasn't even given a key to the door of my room. She used to listen to when I would go into the washroom and timed how long my showers were. The fridge I was allowed to use was a mini-fridge that I had to share between two other people. My food would always go bad and I lost a lot of meals and just eventually stopped eating. I lost a lot of weight over those months. While that was happening, I got a job but was then let go two weeks into my training because they thought my performance was inadequate. I then found another job but I wasn't trained there at all and got berated by clients for my mistakes. By Christmas, I had no money, food and I needed to leave as soon as possible for my safety and health. I broke my lease and moved but they lied about the room needing to be "deep-cleaned" and took my safety deposit. I was able to find another place but have had no luck in getting a job so I've been trying to make money off of art commissions. Every month has been a struggle. I can't move back in with my family, I don't have anywhere else I can go. I have tried over and over again but nothing is working. I own nothing, I have no one and I honestly don't even want to live anymore. Just years and years of misery. I feel like I was pushed to making so many decisions that I thought would help but kept making things worse and worse. I feel like I have no future.

Now, at 22 (23 next month if I make it till then), there is little opportunity for me to do anything anymore. I can't afford to go back to school, I can't find a stable job, I have no assets, no in-demand skills. I live with debilitating mental and physical conditions but can't even get the support I need to survive. I feel like I am a week away from homelessness. The only thing I can do is draw and sing but no one wants that from me. I'm mediocre at best and I'm a nobody. All this to say, I don't want anyone to be angry with me if I decide that I can't do this anymore. I tried to live with the circumstances I was given, but everything's fucked now and I'm tired. I'm tired of going hungry and being alone. I didn't deserve any of this. I didn't do anything to anyone to live this kind of pathetic life. I just wanted to draw comic books and make art. This is everything that's happened to me in the last 5 years. I am at the darkest point in my life and there's no one who wants to help me. I feel like such a waste.

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aoitrinity · 3 years

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Why Do I Have to Feel Like a Fucking Conspiracy Theorist -- OR -- How I Find a Semblance of Peace on Sunday Night

I’m also going to start this out with a GIANT DISCLAIMER.

I am about to theorize about what may have happened to the SPN finale. I have absolutely no insider knowledge. I am merely speculating here based on the panels and a bunch of Twitter and Tumblr posts that I have been reading over the last few days. If you are not in a good place to read such things, TURN BACK PLEASE. Go take care of yourself and your mental health. You and your feelings are valid and deserve to be handled gently right now.

Additionally, if you are here to give me shit for being unhappy with the ending, please walk away as well. I am here to reach out and share my feelings with people who might be struggling to make sense of something that upset some of us in very deep-seated ways. I am not here to bother you or critique you or tell you that you’re lesser because you liked the ending. If you felt it was good, then go enjoy it.

Long-ass post beneath the cut, everyone.

Alrighty folks...I debated whether or not to do this because I have been spiraling down the hell that is the SPN finale since Thursday. The travesty of what happened to our show--to this beloved show that seemed to have been so perfectly and precisely written for at least four years that it had basically already paved its own tarmac on which to land its plane and we all thought we knew exactly what we were going to get. And then we didn’t. We had a nigh Cas-less and entirely Eileen-less ending. We had no goodbye between Cas and Jack. We had Dean dying young after finally finding his freedom, only to ascend to heaven with no one but Bobby. We had the weird, weird, weird incest-y death scene. We had the bridge crane shot thing because...sure. You do you, Robert Singer.

It was so terrible, so truly awful, and I couldn’t seem to square any of it with anything we had known going in. I tossed and turned and cried and didn’t eat or sleep all weekend. I spent hours just reloading tumblr and twitter, going to the Misha panel, reading and reading and listening and trying to figure out what the fucking hell is going on because I needed to know exactly where to direct my anger. And after a fuckton of talking with @winchester-reload, I think we have at least a very plausible theory about what happened here--I’m laying it out below as much for my own peace of mind as anything else, because otherwise all of these thoughts are going to continue to spin around in my head for weeks and I won’t be able to do jack shit.

Now to start off, unfortunately I do think Dean was slated to die from the beginning of this season. I don’t know WHY they thought that was the best way to go, and I wish they had listened to Jensen on this one. Part of me wonders if it was an order from on high based on the discussion between Becky and Chuck earlier this season--the writers knew it wasn’t a great choice, but they were trying to signal to us that we should feel free to write our own endings to the story because they’d be better (I can wax poetic on the signs of why many of the writers probably wanted Dean to live, but that’s another post). I’m not defending that choice by any means, just laying it out there that I think they didn’t necessarily all want to kill Dean like they did.

However, what I THINK I can explain now is what happened with Misha and why we got so jerked around with Cas’s story. Consider what we know (I can’t immediately source all of it, but I did my best):

At the end of episode 15x19, Lucifer has been returned to the Empty after being killed AGAIN. He talks with Cas. Maybe harasses him a bit about Dean, idk. But then...Jack shows up. New God Jack. And he picks up Cas and pulls him out of the Empty, leaving Lucifer behind, because seriously. Fuck that guy (also leaving behind his abusive father is character growth for Jack, so yay for that).

-Misha was contracted to film 15 episodes this season. He was only in 14.

-Misha told Michael Sheen he had to go back to film 1.5 episodes after the shutdown in March. (Starts at 6:13)

-Misha was in Vancouver during filming of the finale.

-Mark P said at Darklight Con that the last scene he filmed was with Alex and Misha (and Mark P was only in episode 19).

-Misha implied that he was present for various filming moments, including Dean’s death (start at 35:15), and said that it felt like a “mini-reunion.”

-Various sources have mentioned that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale.

-After episode 18, Stands tweeted a fan who was angered and hurt by Cas's death that they could talk about the “bury the gays” issue after the finale aired.

-In episode 19 we know there were takes of the parking lot scene where the only thing fans observing could hear was Dean yelling “CAS” at Chuck (fuck I can’t find this one right now, but it’s definitely out there)

-Also in episode 19, we had a very strange, awkward montage at the end of the episode.

-In episode 20, we know there were a FUCKTON of missing scenes

-We also had no opening montage, but three other separate montages.

-Carry on My Wayward Son was played TWICE, back-to-back at the end of the episode.

-Episode 20 was shorter than normal and had surprisingly little dialogue. The pacing was VERY strange.

-The cast and crew has been almost completely silent about the finale since it came out. When they have spoken, it has been with an awkward excuse of “Uh...COVID?”

-Samantha Ferris has specifically noted that, despite the Harvelle’s being back in play and a big heaven reunion having been planned pre-COVID, neither she nor Chad Lindberg received any such invitation to return.

-Cas and Dean POP Funko figures were pictured together in a replica of Harvelle’s in 15x04.

NOW with all of this in mind (and I’m probably missing some stuff too because there is so much--feel free to add on to that list), please bear with me because here is what I think we were SUPPOSED to get POST-COVID (after it was determined that the reunion couldn’t happen because of the virus):

In episode 20, we start with our NORMAL OPENING MONTAGE, like always. It traces everything that happened during the season. We are reminded of Cas. The confession. Rowena. Eileen. Jack. Billie, God, the Empty, all of it.

Things then follow along in the episode where they did up until Dean dies and wakes up in heaven. After his conversation with Bobby, he drives off to find Cas (who, in the script, was listed as “Jimmy Novak” in order to protect against script leaks--who wouldn’t want to do their best to avoid spoilers about the finale with the wrapping of a fifteen-year show?). He does indeed find Cas. We get Dean’s end of the confession. Hell, maybe we even get a kiss. And then Dean sets up his new heaven home in the recreated Harvelle’s. Maybe Cas even fucking moves in.

Years pass. We get Sam having his life on Earth (still can’t explain why they cut Eileen and couldn’t even have Sam signing vaguely to the blurry brunette in the background; if anyone wants to take that on, go for it). Eventually, Cas tells Dean that it’s almost Sam’s time. Dean takes Baby and goes to meet Sam at the bridge. The cover of Carry on My Wayward Son plays during this much shorter sequence. End of episode.

But that’s not what we got. Instead, much of what I just wrote about was excised from the episode. The remnants were stitched together after shooting had been wrapped. Filler was added in the form of montages and long, unnecessary extra shots to get the episode to something approaching a reasonable length.

But why? Why would they spend all that time and money and quarantining on Misha, only to almost completely cut him out of the finale? I struggled with why the fuck the CW would want this mammoth show to go down as the greatest queerbait in TV history when they had the chance to do something truly beautiful and monumental with it? It couldn’t just be sheer homophobia, right? Well, I think that factored into it, my friends, but here is where my head is at right now.

It was about cold, hard cash.

Now I could be wrong, but this is what I’m thinking at the moment: Supernatural is going off of the air. Supernatural, the CW’s cash cow for fifteen years. Sure there is still money to be made on blu-rays and merchandise and cons...but they need people watching their shows. They need that sweet advertising revenue. And you know what show they have about to premiere? A show that could, potentially, bring with it a chunk of that SPN revenue?

Walker.

And if any of you know anything about the original Walker Texas Ranger, you know that the show was predominantly a show about a very heterosexual white man being very excessively heterosexual. And for SOME REASON over the years, many of the execs at the CW still seem to think that this show, Supernatural, is really attractive to a lot of middle-American white men...whom they desperately want to watch this new show with this guy from Supernatural that they already know.

Now here’s where COVID fucked us. I think Destiel was greenlit by TPTB, at least in SOME form, before COVID. But then the pandemic happened, and they panicked. They got the cut of the last two episodes and watched them in their original, probably queer form. And then, the execs at CW looked at the economy. They looked at their cash cow, about to make its journey to the great beyond. And they looked at this new little calf Walker that they were so desperately worried about. And they made a choice.

They decided that it would be too risky to take the step with Destiel. They were worried about frightening off their ever-so-valuable hetero male demographic with the possibility that a traditionally masculine man in his 40s could be in love with another man in an overt way. It was homophobia mixed with greed, spun up by fear for their revenues because of COVID.

So they called in Singer, possibly Dabb, although I wouldn’t be surprised if they went straight to Singer. They told them that Destiel had to go: executive orders. And the only way to make it go in a way that removed any trace of what had been there was to rewrite what happened to Cas and cut him out from the last two episodes entirely. It was too late to reshoot anything. They had to just cut and stitch and fill with bullshit montages.

They removed the scene at the end of 19, probably because Cas and Lucifer discussed Dean. All that was left of Misha there was his voice on that fake phone call. They may have cut other things too, but I would bet my life that they cut a scene from the end of the episode and replaced it with that very strange montage. Then they moved onto 20. They cut out every scene with Cas. And left in only two platonic mentions of him, neither made by Dean. They tried to imply that Cas might show up in Dean’s heaven at some point, but that was as far as the editors could go in the time they had. They filled in with montages, awkwardly long shots, anything they could do to fill all of those missing scenes.

And they even had to take the opening montage, because literally everything in it pointed to Cas being there at the end of it all. They wouldn’t be able to leave out his scenes, they were too critical to the season. They couldn’t cut his confession without raising eyebrows. So they cut the whole thing and moved “Carry On My Wayward Son” to one of the newly-added driving montages at the end. Which is why we awkwardly had both songs play back-to-back--again, such a strange choice unless they were out of options and couldn’t exactly buy rights to a new track or compose anything else.

And so we were left with the shadow of the finale that we deserved, that Cas and Dean deserved. We were left without resolution or happiness or words. Bobo told us the most important thing about happiness is just “saying it” and our characters were silenced without anyone ever knowing the truth.

I think the writers might have known and been given the new party line that “Misha never filmed, he couldn’t, sorry, it was COVID, no one’s fault!” But I don’t think most of the cast even knew it had happened until they watched the finale on Thursday with us (though they might have been confused why the bit from 15x19 was sliced, they could reasonably have assumed it was a time thing and also BL episodes don’t make sense anyway). Why do I say that?

Well, first of all, Misha started sending out a bunch of excited texts to fans with some old BTS pictures about an hour before the show started airing on EST. He also wanted his children to see the episode, his YOUNG children. Why would he show them such a traumatic episode if their Dad wasn’t in it? What if it was because he wanted them to witness what was going to be a monumental moment in queer television history that their DAD got to be a part of? And then that was all dashed.

Which is why I think the cast and crew went almost completely radio silent the next day. I don’t think they knew. And based on how they have been acting on social media since then, I think many of them are absolutely furious, but they have been silenced because of NDAs, because they want to find work again in a cutthroat industry, because they don’t want to bring down the hellfire of Warner Brothers Entertainment upon themselves. So the most we have gotten is a little acknowledgement from the MERCHANDISING COMPANY trying to validate our pain (god bless Shirts, she is a LIFESAVER) and a response to my salty tweet about keeping good stuff in the closet from Adam Williams (the VFX coordinator) that seemed to acknowledge the validity of my complaint.

Then there was a scramble behind the scenes, I would bet my life. Talking points were fed to the boys who had panels today, to CE, to all the cast and crew:

Toe the party line. Misha never filmed. This was always about COVID. Do not mention Destiel. Do not mention Dean’s feelings for Cas. Do not promote the Castiel Project or anything that validates the idea that this was anything less than a superb ending.

And that is why we have heard so little from the cast on this front, and what we have heard has been muddled and contradictory. That is why the writers are saying nothing. That is why we have been left adrift.

Now before I close this out, I do want to say that I really, genuinely do not think this was on the writers at all. I feel like they tried to give us the best ending that they could, in a writers room that we know is notorious for splitting along party lines about the overall story (BL and Singer, who have always been about the brothers and their man-pain vs. Dabb and the rest who always seemed to want more for them and for Cas). I think they did everything in their power to at least end with Dean and Cas happy together. If they could give us nothing else, they wanted to give us that. And then the network took it from them. From us. From everyone.

For the sake of fucking money.

And the WORST PART OF IT ALL, for me, is that in the wake of this disaster, the fans have been left to try and figure out what happened. We have had to wade through a mire of conflicting information in the midst of all of our collective anger and grief over this garbage ending of a show many of us have loved and even relied on for YEARS, all the while wondering if we’re just fucking crazy, if we have all fallen collectively into the hole of conspiracy theories. That hurts ESPECIALLY badly because we have taken so many hits over the years from other groups on social media saying we were crazy for seeing things that weren’t there (especially Destiel), for writing meta and analyzing tropes and believing the evidence of our eyes and ears. The network has made us relive that entire nightmare WHILE processing our grief for a show we wanted so badly to celebrate and which instead we now have to mourn.

So again guys, I cannot prove that this is exactly what happened at all; this is simply my idea of what may have happened. But right now, it’s the most sense I can make from this mess, and to be honest, the act of typing it out has helped me enormously in my processing of it all. I feel like I can see more clearly, like I know where to target my outrage and where to direct empathy. I feel like just fucking maybe, I might be able to do my job tomorrow without bursting into tears at random moments.

I really hope that this post has helped some of you to, in some small way, process this too. We get through this the way that Misha told us at his panel this morning, the way the writers have told us to do all season long...we throw out the story God gave us and we make it better. We write our characters the happy endings they deserve.

We save them.

One last thing--if you have not already, please consider channeling your rage into a donation to one of the five causes our fandom has put together to pay tribute to our beloved show and to mourn the ending it should have had:

-The Castiel Project

-Dean Winchester is Love

-Sam Winchester Project

-The National Association of the Deaf

-The Jack Kline Project

#supernatural season 15 #spn finale #speculation #destiel #destielgate #the ending was not the ending #fuck the cw #trust the story #we were robbed

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bts-reveries · 3 years

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the most beautiful moment in life | epilogue

The Most Beautiful Moment in Life.

We all knew that to get to the pretty parts of life, you’d have to get ugly first.

Hey, no pain no gain right?

Well I hope you liked our most beautiful moment in life. Thank you for going through the good, the bad, and the ugly. For running after Hana with Yoongi when she saw the grand opening of 24/7 Heaven. For walking with Huimang to Hobi’s door. For riding the train to Ilsan with Byul to meet Namjoon. For being with Jimin when he was scared and alone with Mingyu. For being with Taehyung when he finally met the one. For being with Jungkook and Rina when they got engaged. And for being with Jin and Mae when their perfect life wasn’t so perfect after all.

It was happy, it was sad, sometimes it made us mad… but I mean, that’s what we have to go through sometimes right? Not only does it make the story more interesting, haha, but it happens in real life. As cheesy as it sounds, rainbows come after the rain.

We started off happy, then went to parts that made us sad or angry.

That’s just what you go through to be happy sometimes.

The boys, the girls, the kids, they all fell apart at one point, only to reach their happy ending.

So hey

If you ever feel like you’re falling apart, maybe you’re just falling into place.

Maybe

Just maybe

You’re about to reach the most beautiful moment of your life.

Because right now, in real life, away from this one, we are all going through the same thing.

Yeah, the pandemic.

I know we don’t all live the same exact lives, but we all had it rough this past (almost) two years.

We might’ve lost a job, a loved one, connection with friends, got sick, got depressed, felt scared, and so much more. Because I have. Not every single one of those in that list, but most of them.

If you were here since daddy duties, that was the start of the pandemic. I believe the lockdown in my country happened when I was posting the intro for that. How crazy?!

For most of us, this AU has been a little escape. A world without covid as someone once said. Actually, a lot of you have told me that reading this AU and receiving notifications for updates etc. are what makes your day. Which means so much to me of course!

“Hey Miya.”

I look up from my laptop to see Jin standing there in front of my desk here at work.

“Hey Jin, do you need anything?” I ask, closing my laptop. I always brought my personal laptop to work for whenever it gets quiet. Being a receptionist here at Moon Studios is pretty fun, but of course, it does get boring sometimes.

“No, no, I’m good. I actually am about to head home, but Yeonjun is still here,” Jin tells me. He has a smile on his face. “You two should go out, isn’t your shift over in a few?”

“Uh.. yeah it is,” I say, letting out a shy laugh. “Sure, um. I’ll just finish this up and I can go and meet him.” Jin nods.

“Okay, I’ll text him to come down soon. See you again tomorrow,” he says, walking away.

“See ya!”

Okay, anywho.

This was fun. A lot of us have a special connection with these characters and don’t want to see them go. Some want to see Rina and JK get married, I mean, we have all been anticipating it since the beginning right? Some want Sarang and Hobi to finally have a baby. And some just want to see the kids grow up.

Because, well…

Life Goes On

!note to readers!

This is in the span of a few years, not everyone’s first pic, second pic, etc. is on the same timeline (does that make sense?)

The instagram post shows a preview of their lives after the most beautiful moment in life. No, they did not all get engaged around the same exact time, nor did they all get married the same time/year, and had kids at the same time lol. It just shows that after the most beautiful moment in life they went on with their lives and got engaged, got married, had kids etc.

It could be the same year or different years. (ex. Rina and JK could of gotten married the same year Sohyun and Yoongi got engaged and around that time, Sarang and Hobi got pregnant.)

No years or dates were specified in this epilogue.

Also, the OCs instagram profiles are in the order of the AU’s release, not the dates of when the events of their lives happened!

☻☻☻☻☻☻☻

the most beautiful moment in life

☻ epilogue ☻

pairings: BTS x OCs (yoongi x sohyun, hoseok x sarang, namjoon x byul, jimin x yuna, taehyung x bora, jungkook x rina, seokjin x mae)

a/n: now this wraps it up! i felt like i said everything i needed to say already up there. but here’s a bit more. this au is so so so dear to my heart. never have i ever thought it would make it this far. nor did i ever think that i would have this many people reading it! i have made so many friends from this series. you all have a special place in my heart! thank you to everyone who followed along since the very beginning, and even the ones whom just found out about us in the last member’s au. i didn’t think i’d be so attached to these characters, so just like a lot of you.. i want a part two. so with that being said, the most beautiful moment in life goes on. let this be a “part two” to the series, although it will be completely different in terms of format (???) i’ll have an official post on it later this week! until then, this isn’t good bye :)

taglist: @ramyagovindraj @sope-and-shine @jayhope88 @casspirit0705 @mygooie0 @fan-ati--c @spacxmann @princessjazzyjazz @sugaaddiction @ephyra1230 @starlitemotions @alittlestudycorner @justinetingball @somewhereofftheglobe @ygbubs @salty-for-suga @momma-said-that-it-was-oke @mikrokosmicjoon @taekookcaneatme @betysotelo18 [photos found via instagram and pinterest (mostly pinterest, so most of the pictures are unknown) here are the baby’s instagram:

jin: wooju_mom

namjoon: 2ah.in

yoongi: kimibbong1317

hoseok: nayun_mom

jimin: p_aiou

taehyung: no instagram, found on pinterest (jhanuul)

jungkook: tokki.daram]

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hiphop-rap-and-basketball · 2 years

Text

rookie year | chapter 1

• a lamelo ball fanfic by hiphop-rap-and-basketball •

Pairing: LaMelo Ball x fem!reader

Word Count: 3,066

A/N: The Pandemy...

This story takes place in 2019-2021 and so on. Please note that the COVID-19 pandemic will not exist in this fic. I thought about it over and over and it felt more obvious to pretend Covid doesn't exist. People read fanfics to escape reality. Why would I want to include the pandemic when people just want to read and be happy. With that being said, please enjoy this story. I am in love with the idea. I am in love with the idea of writing about love and the beauty and ups and downs that it brings. I am in love with the way our brains can picture alternate realities and imagine them as real . Once again, I hope you enjoy. :):)

My Knowledge of Basketball...

... is not the greatest when it comes to history and players lmao. I try to keep things as accurate as possible and do my research but yes this is a fanfiction and yes I'm going to make up some stuff so just roll with it lmao.

Trigger warnings and things of that nature...

This is of course very much about people of age and NOT minors. Please note all characters involved in sexual activities are 18+. Also, when it comes to cheating and such.. I do not condone cheating personally nor have I ever done it.This is a just a story and not to spoil it but boundaries may be crossed. Readers discretion is advised.. or whatever they say 💀💀 okay kisses enjoy 😘😏

Other stuff about dates...

Like I said they might be off from real time stuff that actually happened but let's roll with it. Starting off in the fic Melo will have just turned 19 and reader is 19 going on 20 shortly after a couple of chapters. Hopefully that gives you a good picture 😊

ENJOY, it’s been a while since I’ve posted. Feedback is appreciated as it motivates me to keep posting 😊😊😊 thank you x 100 okay chapter one starts NOW

September 1st 2019

You admired your calendar for a moment. So many days crossed off that lead you up to this moment right here. This was it and today was the day you were so excited for. The day you have been looking forward to for months. The papers were signed, the check was cleared. You could not wait to step foot into your new apartment. You neatly folded your calendar and tucked it away in your backpack. One of the last couple of items you had to pack.

“That’s it,” your boyfriend smiled, patting and dusting his hands on his legs. “That’s the last box. You ready for the drive?” You nodded and smiled. You could not believe that last night’s sleep was the night that you slept in your childhood home. Yeah, of course you would miss it, but growth is exciting. Today was one of the many days you would see how all of the hard work was definitely paying off. You both made your way down the steps and you admired your home for a moment.

So many memories of your younger self running through the halls. The times you ran down the steps on Christmas mornings when you were little and could not wait to open gifts. You found the wall where your mom tracked how much you grew. You traced the lines over the faded marking and smiled at them, remembering your mom telling you that she had to tell you to “hold still unless you want me to draw on your forehead.” You would giggle and watch as your mother beamed upon the wall and realized how much you had grown.

This home had your heart but it was definitely time for a fresh start. You made your way out of the front door to find your dad doing one final walk through and closing the back of the moving truck.

“You sure you got it from here?” Your father asked the two of you.

“Yeah, they have an elevator and moving cart in the building,” you respond.

“Ohhh wow, fancy fancy,” your dad throws his hands up after wiping a sweaty brow. “Be careful on the drive there.”

“We will sir,” your boyfriend replies with a smile.

You give each other one final hug and of course your parents are a bit emotional. You promised they could come visit as soon as everything was set up and how you wanted it to look. You have spent months searching for the right place. Then you spent months buying a few things at a time for your new apartment. It was a slow process that you wanted to feel right.

“Take lots of pictures, love,” your mom winked. Knowing that of course you definitely would. Your love for photography runs deep because of her. She bought you your first camera at the age of 12. Even when your parents were struggling financially, they wanted you to discover your passions early on. Seven years later at 19 years old, here you are.

You are proud of how far your photography business has gotten you. Living in the small town of Concord, North Carolina finally moving to the city of Charlotte. You could not wait to get your studio open and see your business blow up in the city. But nonetheless, one step at a time babygirl. You just got your first apartment and you were so happy about it. The photography studio would come eventually. Right now you were just taking it all in. You built your success on hard work. With this being a full year since you graduated high school, you were able to work a job while building your photography brand. You were now taking the leap to go full time and all in on your photography work.

Your new apartment is a 800 square foot studio apartment. But it was so much more than just an apartment. It was your first home. You chose it because it had the beautiful city view that you always wanted. You were so excited to get started on decorating it. You looked out of the window as your boyfriend sat in the driver’s seat, steering the moving truck through the interstate on the 30 minute drive there.

You remembered looking at all the different apartments until you found this one. You knew it was the right one, you just felt it in your bones. The area was perfect. The apartment had a cozy feel to it. The building was beautiful. As you got closer and closer, you felt yourself regain your energy. Knowing you needed it now that you had to move all the boxes back up into the new apartment now.

“You excited?” your boyfriend asked and you grinned.

“Very,” you reply. “It’s bittersweet but so exciting.”

“I know, at least you get to finally get a cat now,” he replies and you smile. He knows how much you have always wanted a cat and your mom did not want one in the house.

“Yes, we’ll get there,” you smile, happy that he remembered your desire for a furry companion.

“We can finally have loud sex too,” he smirks and you giggled.

“Oh hush, look, we’re here!”

You pulled up to the front of the apartment building. Camera slug around your shoulder, you immediately hopped out of the truck and began shooting. The front was beautiful. Flowers of all kind everywhere and a beautiful fountain in the center. The building was pretty far apart from the other buildings next to it, so you knew nothing would feel crowded and you were free. You stared in awe before snapping a couple more pictures.

“Uhhh, a little help here,” your boyfriend reminds you while opening up the big sliding back door of the moving truck.

“Oh, whoops,” you say slinging your camera back over your shoulder before grabbed a box from his hand. “Wait,” you pause.

“What?” He asks.

“Can I have a lighter one than this,” you smile through gritted teeth. He rolls his eyes.

“Girl we’re taking the elevator,” he laughs. “You’re strong and I believe in you.”

You smile, “Fineee.”

You make it to the elevator with the box in your hand, trying to hide the fact that you were completely out of breath already. Your boyfriend hit the elevator button and you felt the cart swiftly move you up to the 10th out of the 12 floors. Excitement arose in your stomach.

You and your boyfriend walked to the front door of your new apartment, you dropped the box not caring what was in it, fumbling to unlock the door.

You took a deep breath before opening the door to reveal the view you had replayed in your mind over and over. It still gave you the same feeling in your stomach as when you toured it the for the first time.

The brand new appliances. The all white cabinets. The brand new flooring. This was everything you dreamed up. The moment you have been manifesting for the longest time. This was all yours. Not anyone else’s. Not even your boyfriend who technically would not be able to be on the lease anyway since he had not had a steady income yet. You worked harder than most people your age and you were proud of it. As much as you wanted the place to be both yours and his, you knew the timing of you being ready yourself was more important that waiting on him to get it together. You knew he would be able to visit and stay the night whenever you wanted him to so that did not bother you. “I think I might cry,” you smile, feeling a familiar stinging feeling in your eyes.

Your boyfriend rolls his eyes at you.

“Oh come on,” he stated. “This is a happy moment, don’t cry.”

“They are tears of joy, Tristan,” you exclaim. “I’m so proud of me. I really am that bitch.”

He chuckles at you before pulling you into a hug.

“You absolutely should be proud of yourself. You deserve it.”

You soak it all up, running around the apartment and dancing. He watches you with a smirk on your face.

Out of breath, you put your hands on your knees. ““Come on, let’s get the rest of the stuff.”

•••

After what felt like forever but was probably about an hour and a half, you got most of the things up. Oddly enough it took longer to put the stuff into the truck than taking it out of the truck. You still had some furniture coming soon so luckily there would be movers to take care of that part.

You finished up bringing the last couple of boxes with the dolly. Your boyfriend decided he would take the truck to return it to the rental place just in time before your rental time was up. You took these moments on your own to soak it up some more. You relaxed on the balcony for a bit with your water in hand, rehydrating after lots of movement. After sifting through some kitchen boxes and throwing the dishes in the washer to get them clean before storing them away, you decided to pick up your camera and go out around the building in search for more photo ops.

You looked all around the front garden and found some more beautiful flowers. You snapped a couple of pictures. You admired the photos for a moment until you felt yourself let out a small gasp when you heard the front door of the building open, breaking the silence of the world around you and removing you from your deep thoughts.

You looked up and made eye contact with him. You forced out a small smile after he gave you one. He was tall… really tall. He was looking down on his phone now. Your eyes were drawn to his very casual outfit. He wore grey sweats and an oversized hoodie, with Nike slides and bright yellow high socks.

As he approached you, you could not tell if he was going to initiate a conversation or not. You shifted your feet and kept your camera tucked in your hand before slowly following him with your eyes.

“What’s up,” he greeted you with a small smile, slipping his phone into his pocket.

“Hello,” you replied softly.

“You taking pictures?” He asked, his voice was deep and smooth when he spoke.

“Yes I am,” you smile proudly, body now fully facing him.

“That’s cool,” he replies with a grin while nodding his head.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I actually just moved in today.” You mentally slap yourself for sharing personal information with a stranger.

“I just recently moved here too,” he smiled as he ruffled up his curls on the front of his head with his fingers. “It’s been a couple of weeks now.”

“Oh, nice,” you smile. “Do you like it here?” Is all you can think of asking.

“‘Is alright, nothing crazy,” he smirks and shrugs at his own sarcastic response.

It obviously was the complete opposite. I mean unless he grew up in a million dollar mansion that was better than this. Nonetheless, you knew it was more than just nothing to you. You decided not to take it personally.

“Well my name is Y/N, what’s yours?” You ask with an innocent smile.

He cocks a brow for a second before he answers.

“Melo, nice to meet you. I guess I’ll see you ‘round Y/N,” he says while tipping you off with a grin, walking away before you could say another word.

You watched as he continued to walk off in the opposite direction, still in shock at his height. You looked down at your camera and admired the last couple of pictures you took before you heard slamming footsteps approaching.

“Hey,” your boyfriend huffs moment’s later walking up behind you. “Who was that? I heard talking.”

“New neighbor, I guess.” You shrug. “How’d dropping off the truck go?”

“Pretty simple, guess it helped leaving your car there to give you time to set up but I see you got distracted again,” he replies.

“Well… you know…. My excuse is that um. I have no excuse. Let’s get into it though,” you laugh.

The two of you made your way back up to the apartment and spent a couple of hours rushing to unbox and hang up as much as you could. He happily helped, until he felt a stomach growl.

“Okay I’m starving,” he admits.

“Me too, let’s eat something.” You sigh, plopping down whatever item that was in your hand on the counter top.

“Can we order in? I’m beat,” he sighs.

“Of course honey,” you reply. “What do you have a taste for?”

“Anything really,” you say.

“Well, that’s not very specific,” he replies.

“It’s hard to decide, but let’s order in. I’m too sweaty and messy to go to a sit down restaurant right now,” you say. “I can’t wait to shower.”

You both settle on ordering in your favorite pizza from a restaurant in downtown Charlotte. While waiting for the food; you called it a night on setting things up. There was always tomorrow and the most important thing was to rest up. After a long, hot shower you lather your body with lotion slowly with care. Before you knew it, the smell of pizza filled your apartment after it had arrived.

“Thank God,” you say in relief, starving to say the least.

Tristan served up a plate for you as you slumped down on one of your chairs. You both ate in silence as your appetite was huge and your mouths were full.

“Have you thought about your next steps lately?” You ask him as you set your plate down after finishing one slice.

He shrugs as he still had a mouth full of pizza. I definitely have options I mean. Although Amazon pays great right now; I’ve been thinking maybe trade school? Maybe welding… still deciding.”

Your eyes lit up in response. “That would be awesome babe. That sounds great.”

“Yeah, I think so too. We’ll see,” he shrugs.

“Well you know I’m here to support you in whatever you decide to do,” you encouraged.

“Thank you darling. What’s your schedule looking like the rest of the week?” He asks.

“Took the week off to get settled in but you know how that goes I’ll probably find something to shoot… what about you?”

“Workk work and work,” he replies with a chuckle.

“Get that money up,” you shouted.

The two of you sit in silence for a moment.

You were happy to eat, you admired your boyfriend for doing his best to move mostly everything in himself. Yes you helped but let’s be honest, he did most of it.

I think I want to sit on the balcony for a bit,” you say, breaking the silence.

“I’m going to shower, blow up the air mattress and lay down for a little,” he says.

“Okay,” you hum. “Your box of shower stuff is in the bathroom.”

You put your plate in the sink and grabbed your robe from your room. You shuffled through a box and grabbed your journal and a pen. You tiptoed your way to the balcony and slid the door open. Settling into your chair and looked up at the view once more before you began to write.

Today was amazing to say the least. Tristan helped me so much with moving. I’m so proud of myself. I know so much growth is on the way for me. I am absolutely claiming all of this positive energy around the apartment building as well. I even met someone else who lives in the building. I still remember his-

Your phone rang and shook you out of your thoughts as you lifted your pen off of the paper.

Mom

You slid the ‘Answer’ bar.

“Hi mom,” you sing.

“Hey honey, how’d it go?”

You reassured her the moving process was smooth and everything went well. You promised she could visit soon. Bummed out because she wanted to help you set up, you promised you could handle it.

“Well, I love you honey, hope things continue to go well,” she says softly.

“Oh mom thank you, please don’t cry,” you give a light laugh.

“I’m just so proud of you. Is Tristan still with you?” She asked.

“Yeah but he’s in the shower right now,” you reply. “Why?”

“Ohh okay. Just wondering. Hope he’s keeping you safe. Never open the door for anyone.” She states.

“Oh thank you mom. I’ll be careful.”

“And always lock the door at night,” she lists. “But remember, he doesn’t technically live there. Unless he starts paying rent, don’t let him get too comfortable.”

You sigh before you spoke. “You’re right mom… I know. Thank you.”

“Of course hon. Get some rest I’ll talk to you soon. Good night.”

“‘Night,” you reply. The line disconnected and you place your phone back down on the side table.

You took a moment to look around again, admiring the view. The sun was beginning to set on the horizon. The city lights grew brighter. You look up at the sky and see the stars. The sky was free from clouds. You looked back down at your journal and contemplated continuing to write. Your mom was right. It was a long day and it was time to rest.

What mattered most was that Tristan helped you with moving and that really made things go smoothly today. But she was also right about him not being on the lease. Unsure of how things would unravel, you obviously enjoyed his company but knew that him staying over night everyday would not really be ideal. It would bother you if he tried doing that without paying a single bill. Nonetheless, it was time to take it day by day from here on out and pray for the best.

Making your way back inside, you shut the screen door behind you and closed the blinds. You turned some music up and got to work on some photo editing in your bedroom until you got sleepy. it would be a little while until the apartment was perfect and looking just how you wanted it to be. Nonetheless, you were patient and ready for this next chapter in life.

Chapter 2

#lamelo x rem!reader #lamelo ball #charlotte hornets #melo ball fan fictions #Melo #ball #Lonzo ball #Gelo ball #ball in the family #nba players #lamelo ball imagines

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itsbap · 2 years

Text

Bang Yongguk Chronicles His Journey With ‘RACE’ In An Exclusive Interview

KHIGH: We would first like to congratulate you on your latest single ‘RACE’. How does it feel to finally make a comeback?

Bang Yongguk: I want to express my gratitude towards all the staff that helped my music to come out again to the world and I would also like to thank my fans who have been waiting for me.

KHIGH: What made you select ‘RACE’ as your comeback single? What is the message that you’re trying to share?

Yonnguk: This is a song that compares life to racing in F1. This song contains the meaning that our lives are the same as F1 sports, where we cannot finish the race if we do not stop at the pit for maintenance.

KHIGH: What was the inspiration behind ‘RACE’?

Yongguk: I got a lot of inspiration from watching F1 documentary films. I don’t actually own a car, though. Haha!

KHIGH: The music video for ‘RACE’ is so trippy and cool. Are there any fun behind-the-scenes stories while filming it?

Yongguk: I remember wearing colored lenses for the first time ever since my debut. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to wear such lenses again or not but it was a pleasant experience.

KHIGH: You were part of one of the biggest K-Pop groups and even had a successful solo career with the much-loved album ‘BANGYONGGUK’. Was it intimidating while preparing for a comeback after two years?

Yongguk: Not at all. I think I could enjoy preparing it during the break and it was a time for me to develop myself, to create more new and extraordinary music. Now I wish to tell you all my story through it.

KHIGH: We are also eagerly waiting for your next album. Are there any spoilers that you can share with us?

Yongguk: It will be a more casual album than my last studio album. I would appreciate it if you could enjoy the music itself!

KHIGH: Congratulations on also launching your own agency CONSENT! What are your plans for it?

Yongguk: My primary goal is to wrap up the Bang Yongguk albums as planned in 2022.

KHIGH: You even produced JUST B’s title track ‘Damage’ which fans loved. Is your process different when you are making music for someone other than yourself?

Yongguk: I would say making music as a producer is more exciting. The process of suggesting concepts or directions and creating music for friends is very detailed and fun. I’m also in the middle of the process to become a K-Pop producer by learning the pros and cons of it.

KHIGH: You have tried all kinds of things from producing to opening an agency and even making the documentary film ‘Breath’. What kind of projects would you like to try next that you haven’t done before?

Yongguk: Probably, movie soundtracks and acting are the projects that I’m looking forward to this year.

KHIGH: You’re known for experimenting with all kinds of genres from rock and hip hop to jazz. Would you be interested in something like Bollywood or Indian music?

Yongguk: To be honest, I didn’t get to have a chance to see much of it but I am definitely interested and enjoy learning various kinds of music from all over the world. In terms of it, both Bollywood and Indian music are very new and interesting to me.

KHIGH: You and the other members of B.A.P are still close and in touch, so what would you say if you got to have a collaboration with some of them?

Yongguk: I think we can do it together at any time!

KHIGH: Fans were touched that you still refer to yourself as B.A.P’s leader. Can we expect a reunion in the near future?

Yongguk: Realistically, I don’t think anyone can force the reunion. Each member has their own company, and we cannot just do it regardless of the business aspects. But we are still together on the ground called B.A.P.

KHIGH: They have also been eagerly waiting to see you perform live. Any plans for a concert soon?

Yongguk: Due to this Covid-19 pandemic, we are in a very difficult situation in regard to those tour projects that were being planned. I also want to go meet my fans as soon as possible. I will be praying for it.

KHIGH: Finally, any last words for your fans who were waiting so long for you?

Yongguk: I’d like to say thank you to the fans who have always been a great support to me. I will always be making great music so that I can pay back on the consistent support and love I get from fans. Love you all and thank you.

source: KHIGH

#b.a.p #yongguk #t:interview #220201

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camxnoel-updates · 3 years

Text

Cameron Monaghan brought the character of Ian Gallagher to life on Showtime’s hit series, Shameless. The series aired for a total of 11 seasons after originally premiering in 2011. It ranked as the network’s no. 1 comedy, longest-running series, and had the youngest-skewing audience of any Showtime series. Monaghan also joined two legendary universes with roles in both Gotham and Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order, which I got to ask him about too!

The final season of SHAMELESS finds the Gallagher family and the South Side at a crossroads, with changes caused by the COVID pandemic, gentrification, and aging to reconcile. As Frank confronts his own mortality and family ties in his alcoholic and drug-induced twilight years, Lip struggles with the prospect of becoming the family’s new patriarch. Newlyweds Ian (Cameron Monaghan) and Mickey (Noel Fisher) are figuring out the rules and responsibilities of being in a committed relationship while Deb embraces her individuality and single motherhood. Carl finds an unlikely new career in law enforcement and Kevin and V struggle to decide whether a hard life on the South Side is worth fighting for.

Along with the final season, fans also got a six-episode series that featured new Shameless scenes juxtaposed with a retrospective look at each character’s journey over the prior 10 seasons, titled, Shameless Hall of Shame. The first episode followed Ian and Mickey, showcasing their unique relationship and its evolution from a teen fling into a loving, complicated marriage.

I was able to chat with the actor over zoom and ask him all of my burning questions regarding the series finale, Ian and Mickey’s future, the show’s open ending, the representation his character provided to those watching, what he kept from the set, his future projects, and so much more! Keep reading to find out everything he told me.

So first of all, I want to say a huge congrats to you for wrapping Shameless after 11 seasons and bringing this character to life, who has inspired so many and that so many relate to. I wanted to ask, what has your time on the show meant to you and how would you describe how it helped you grow as an actor?

Cameron Monaghan: I mean, it’s so difficult to distill 11 years into some sort of concise answer, but it’s meant a lot for so many reasons. I think that obviously it’s been important for my career and my life in a sense of how it’s not only given me exposure but also given all of us a platform as performers to be able to tell interesting and challenging stories and to really develop and grow. Obviously, we had a couple of old pros on the show– when I say old pros, I’m not calling them old, just that they’re professionals and they’ve been doing it for a long time, but like William H. Macy, Joan Cusack, and a number of people who had very storied careers. Then we had actors on the show who had never appeared on anything prior and for a lot of us, we were somewhere in the middle, where we’d been working for a number of years, but hadn’t been given the opportunities to really put ourselves out there in such a significant way.

So being able to get an audience over the course of 11 years– and the show grew steadily, it was a marginal success at first, but it wasn’t until like season 4 or 5 that it really started to be seen by people and really connect on a larger platform, and a lot of that had to do with Netflix. When that happens we had such an influx of people kind of saying how they related to it and I think that that’s something that I’ve really taken away– I think we’ve all taken away, to be able to hear a lot of other people’s stories and how they’ve connected these stories in entirely different ways. Everyone has had different favorite characters or storylines and they have brought their own personal experiences to that, but for people to say that they feel seen or heard in some ways by these stories, I think is very special. You know, the character that I was playing was an LGBT love story, as well as a story about mental illness, and coping and struggling with that. I had so many positive responses from people regarding those things, and it was amazing to hear people’s responses. So I think that not only was I able to grow as an actor but being able to hear that response and feedback helps you grow as a human being too. I guess that’s what one of my major takeaways is.

What was that final day of shooting like for you, and how did you feel when you officially wrapped?

It was a bit surreal. I don’t think it really set in at first. It’s always funny when you wrap on a project, I feel like it comes in waves, and with something like a TV show, you start to feel it on the last few episodes of like, “Oh, wow, it’s going to be over.” You start trying to find your little ways of saying goodbye to people and understanding that these conversations are obviously not the last for everyone; we’re still close with each other, but you start to recognize that within the context of the show they’ll be your last so that’s a difficult thing. I’ve never been particularly good at saying goodbye, you know? I feel like in general, I’m kind of a person that just likes to be like, “I’m just going to walk away from it cause I don’t know what else to do really.”

So, we were shooting pretty late at night and we were all there hanging out and cracking jokes, and it was just of like, “Oh, I guess that’s it.” We all kind of looked at each other like, “Well, what do we do now?” A bunch of us stuck around for a few hours afterward, we popped a bottle of champagne, and we sat in each others’ trailers and just kinda hung out until pretty early in the morning, the next day. Then we’ve all kind of just been hanging out and seeing each other since. Everyone’s been really busy, thankfully. So we’ve been traveling and going to different cities for work, but when we’ve been in town we’ve been trying to see each other. I had dinner with Jeremy and Ethan, who played my brothers on the show last week. Noel Fisher, I just saw yesterday. I’m going to see Shanola Hampton in a few days. We’re all still staying in touch with each other is what I’ll say.

Were you personally satisfied with the ending of the show? I think it was very open-ended, which was kind of nice and left a lot open for the future. And was there anything you wanted to see for your character that we weren’t able to?

Endings are difficult in general, but I feel like, especially with a show like Shameless, which is a show about a slice of life and sort of how existence doesn’t really fall into a perfect narrative; it tends to be messy and kind of just continue in spite of itself, and it’s a stream of these little victories and these constant mistakes. So you can’t really cap off a pure ending to a story like that. I think that what John Wells tried to do with writing it is not really conclude the stories. He concludes certain aspects, but the way that he explained it to us is he wanted it to feel like if you were walking through the streets of Chicago, maybe you might bump into these characters. Maybe they’re still out there and maybe they’re still doing things. Some of us had more resolution than others.

I would actually say that the Ian and Mickey storyline was one that did have a fair amount of resolution for the final episode. It was about their anniversary, how they were going to deal with their future, and they’ve kind of figured out some sort of life with each other. There are still large questions, whether or not they’re going to have kids and what the terms of their marriage will entail in the future, but those are questions that are lifelong questions, and ones that I think that we know these characters well enough and we understand their relationships well enough that we can draw our own conclusions for. I think there is something beautiful about the fact that the audience will project what their future for these characters will be.

I think it was a challenging final season because of so many extenuating factors in the world. All shows, businesses, everything was trying frantically to keep up with a changing landscape, and the fact that we were able to make it in spite of all of those things, I think is a victory in itself; one that we are all proud of and happy with. I do think there’s still a future, years out, where we might return to these characters and explore them further. I think that I’m happy putting them to bed for now, I think we all are, but I would like to maybe check in with these characters in 5 or 10 years, and just kind of see where they’re at and what they’re doing.

Kind of like a little Shameless movie, just to play catch up for a little bit.

Yeah, I think that’s something that is kind of more possible now with these streaming networks. They’ve done it with a few series, to sometimes success and sometimes mixed results, but I do think there is a possibility of a reunion season or something like that, depending on where the show fits into the public consciousness in a few years, you know? It’s an open question, but one I’d be excited to see.

How you would describe Ian’s evolution and journey on the show?

I think that Ian has come a long way in terms of confidence and assuredness in himself and his own decisions. I think that’s what a lot of the exploration of the character was, especially in the middle seasons between seasons like 3 to 8 or 9, are this guy who sort of just doesn’t necessarily know what he wants for himself and he’s dealing with a bunch of surprises about himself that he doesn’t necessarily understand, or hasn’t really come to terms with. I think it’s amazing to see Ian in these earlier episodes where he’s kind of getting kicked around by his relationships and by his family. He’s kind of a forgotten kid a little bit. He’s like a middle child, who’s just sort of– people aren’t really looking out for him. His brother does to a certain extent, but also his brother is kind of telling him what he wants for himself and Ian isn’t as active.

At a certain point, he starts to really come into his own as an adult and as a human being. I think it’s amazing how we see him as not only a big brother by the end of the series, but also sort of– there’s something a bit paternal about him. He becomes a bit of a father figure, even a little bit in his relationships. I think it’s interesting how Mickey was always sort of the commanding force and deciding factor for so much of the series; when Ian was really struggling with mental illness and down in the dumps, Mickey is the kind of guy who was looking after him, but by the end of the series, Mickey is a bit childlike in certain ways. Ian is kind of protecting him to a certain extent, and even with his older brother, Lip, Ian is sort of looking out for him in a slightly paternal way, which I think is kind of interesting. He really comes a long way in sort of being confident enough in himself to start looking out for other people that I think is a really great quality. It makes him a character who has made a fair amount of mistakes but mistakes that we understand, and I think that ultimately he’s a guy that I understand and really relate to because he does have this quality to him.

So I have to ask you some questions about Ian and Mickey. I personally love them together, they were one of the reasons I started watching the show. In the end, as you said, we kind of get some closure, but also an open ending with them and it’s a happy one; they’re together and celebrating their anniversary. In your head, what do you think that their future holds? Do you think kids are in the picture; do you think they’re going to be parents? Ideally, what is your version of their happy ending, if you could create it?

I think that they both still need to do some work. I would say that they need to do work as a couple in their marriage still of just defining the terms of what is it that they want financially, sexually, intimately, personally, all of these things. It’s a show full of people who aren’t great at communication or dealing with their own feelings– I mean to a certain extent, most human beings aren’t, but these guys, especially, come from a rough background and they have that tendency of just kind of wanting to push that stuff down. Ian has really opened up Mickey and Mickey to a certain extent has really opened up Ian over the course of the series, but I still don’t think they’re fully all the way there. Mickey has a lot of emotional baggage when it comes to parenthood, his father, and dealing with responsibility.

I don’t know if Mickey is fully there. Hopefully, he would be one day in the future. And hopefully, Ian would be patient enough to give him the space to make that decision and to not want to rush into it. I do think that it would be something in their future. Parenthood was a huge motivating factor for Ian earlier in the series, going so far as to steal someone’s baby at some point because he wants to be a father. I would hope that they would be able to provide that for him and for themselves, but there’s no way to know, we have to sort of make that assumption for ourselves, but I think so.

Ian and Mickey have been this fan-favorite couple that means so much to the LGBTQ+ community in terms of representation. What was the moment that you personally started rooting for them?

I think it was pretty early. I was rooting for Ian from the first episode, from the pilot, but the second that Mickey gets introduced to the show, he brought such a fun dynamic with him. Obviously, a massive amount of charisma that was coming from Noel Fisher. The scenes were always fun, exciting, and felt steeped in a lot of dramatic tension. Whether or not they were destined to be together was kind of a question that still was developing. In the first season to the third season, the Mickey character is pretty rough emotionally and physically; he is at points pretty, extremely abusive in a way that is great for a character and for a story, but if I was talking to Ian as a person in real life, I would probably say, “Get the hell away from this guy. He’s awful for you.”

But within the context of the story, we’re able to get the internal life of these characters and we understand them well enough to really want to be rooting for them and see them succeed. It builds into this pretty epic love story of these characters that really do feel kind of intertwined by fate and something greater. It feels like you have these forces pulling for them in a way that you want with every fiber of your being to see it work out for them because you care for them. So obviously, Noel and I had been rooting for these characters the entire time, but it was really fun playing some of the ridiculousness of the situations of the two of them, where they were just very at odds with each other at times. It was a joy bouncing off of each other in both the highs and the lows of the character.

Is there sort of a message that you hope their love story gives to viewers that see themselves in these characters?

Well, I think the aspects of the characters, especially for Mickey, that I’m sure a lot of people relate to, and it is sort of the greatest tragedy of the character, is how he is deeply in the closet and he feels that he can’t embrace his own self and also this beautiful love because of this situation that he’s in; a traumatic home life, specifically an abusive father, and also an environment that doesn’t allow him to be what he wants to be. I guess the message that I do hope that people who are relating to that get is that there are places where you can be accepted and there are better options for you, and sometimes that takes time, but as cliched as it is, it does get better. So hopefully people are able to find these safe environments for themselves to be able to improve the quality of life and to get better situations. I hope that people find hope in the story ultimately.

Another relationship of Ian’s that I have to discuss is his relationship with the whole Gallagher family; that was a focus of the series since day one. What was your favorite part of their dynamic and playing off that?

Obviously, the chaos of the family is always really fun to play. We had these scenes that were kind of an amazing balancing act of like 8 or 9 people in a scene, all messing around with these different storylines that are bouncing off of each other, intertwining, and you have this really biting sharp satirical dialogue that all had a very specific rhythm to it and was a sort of flow that was established early in the show that was kind of kept across the entire series; one that was a genuine joy as a performer to play. But I think that specifically the relationship that I’ve always been a fan of and I love from the start, is probably– it’s definitely one of my favorite relationships on the show– was the relationship between Ian and Lip.

There’s not a lot of depictions of brotherhood and intimacy between men that are deeply sensitive, close, and uncomplicated. Those are definitely scenes that I felt very personally moved by, of two brothers who have just had a world of shit, a lot of complicated and messed up things that have been dropped on their heads that they’ve been dealing with for the entirety of their lives, but they’ve sort of made a pact that they were just gonna be there for each other no matter what. If they weren’t there for each other, who knows if they would have survived. I think that there’s something really amazing about those scenes in that they’re just very open with each other, and that’s something that’s established right from the start and was kind of one of those key relationships for the show that survived until the very last episode and that I’m very proud of, cause I do think that those are some of my personal favorite scenes of the show.

Here’s a fun three-part question: most challenging, fun, and insane storyline for you as an actor?

Most challenging would probably have to be… we reached a point in the series around season 8 and they were trying to contextualize the characters in a modern way, put them into new circumstances, but try to retain what the characters were, but they’ve moved a lot from where they originally were. We were at a point where we were getting so many new writers onto the series, and the show I feel struggled for a second, which happens with any series that’s been on for a while. It felt like there was a point where they didn’t know what they wanted to do with Ian. There were a couple of episodes where I was kind of looking at the story and being like, “What are we doing here? It doesn’t really feel like anything is happening with him and we’re kind of floating across these relationships.” I wasn’t sure what we were trying to say, but that being said, that is kind of true to life, to a certain degree, where we do find ourselves sometimes in these ruts where we don’t know what we’re doing with our relationships, our lives, and ourselves. There is a little bit of a struggle there and that is kind of real to a certain degree, and I do think having those episodes make when they started finding the way with the character and relationships again, kind of more satisfying cause he sort of loses his way and he comes back. So it was kind of a challenge, but I think it all worked out ultimately.

Craziest would have to be… so this is one that no one would even know is like a thing really, no one would even think of it as a thing, but the scene in the pilot episode, Lip and Ian jump out of like a window and they run out of a house to escape an angry parent, right? And they’re kind of running in a rush. So they run out in their socks, down the street, and it’s the middle of January in Chicago and the streets are covered in mud, water, and ice. I think it’s the first time I’ve ever felt in my life that I actually thought my feet were going to like fall off. I thought we were going to have to amputate a toe because of frostbite. We did the scene a bunch of times, and because Jeremy and I were young, we were just sort of trying to be tough, just like, “Yeah, whatever, it’s not a problem. We can do this over and over, not a big deal.” Then I definitely learned a lesson of like, when something is a problem, you have to say, it’s a problem.

Most fun… I don’t know if I can distill it to just one scene. I think the most fun was just getting to interact with all of the wildly different personalities of our show, and just kind of get to sit around and hang out with everyone. There were times that we would just be laughing so hard that one of us would start and we just end up crying, laughing. Usually, it was because of Howey cracking jokes or something like that, but it could be just the dumbest to smallest thing, but it’s the kind of thing when you become so comfortable with people, it just starts to happen. Sometimes it was just the downtime and these little small kind of boring or mundane moments that really ended up being some of my favorite experiences.

Did you take anything from the set at all?

I did. So in the final season, there’s a storyline where Frank steals Nighthawks, the Edward Hopper painting, and that was actually done in cooperation with the Art Institute of Chicago and the Edward Hopper estate. They did these really high-resolution prints of it that were then painted over by hand, and they even took pictures of the back and mimicked the way that the canvas wrapped over, the small writing, and everything. It’s a pretty damn good forgery of Nighthawks. So I stole one of those and that’s hanging up in my living room. I also stole one of the mugs cause in the show we’re always having breakfast and drinking coffee, so there are these rooster mugs and I stole one of those.

Since you’re talking to The Nerds of Color, I have to ask you about Star Wars and Gotham. What stood out to you about Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order compared to your other work, and what did it mean to you to join that iconic universe?

I mean, what stood out pretty quickly was that it had a tone all of its own. Star Wars is a very specific tone. It has sort of its own language, pacing, style, and rhythm; there’s something very specific about it, something that I’m a big fan of. I grew up watching the Star Wars movies and that was definitely… you know, anytime that you’re jumping onto something with an active and passionate fanbase it’s going to be slightly intimidating. There’s no way around that. Thankfully, I’ve at this point done enough projects with really passionate fanbases to kind of understand what that entails, which is that there’s going to be a lot of opinions. A lot of people are really excited about things and no matter what, even the smallest things, someone’s going to be very, very angry about it. That comes along with the territory, but that’s kind of fun to a certain degree; it’s fun to hear such minutiae and being examined, and these conversations are ones that are being had on set too.

There’s so much conversation between the Lucasfilm story group, Respawn, and EA, who are the production companies behind the game, and also the cast, directors, and everybody involved are sometimes discussing, “How does a person stand? How does one get onto a speeder bike? What kind of sound does this monster make?” And there’s always a genuine deference and respect to the series. We know how much people care about it. We know because we care about it a lot, and everyone on this project are huge fans of the source material. So that was exciting to be a part of, obviously; I mean, that should go without saying. It’s so freaking cool to be a Jedi and to be the face of this massive franchise, and to be able to not only be a part of a really well-known property and part of this large project but also to be able to tell an interesting and intimate story within it. For as bombastic as all of the action is, and as big as the Star Wars universe is, I feel the story of Cal Kestis and the people that he interacts with is a somewhat smaller one and a more intimate one. It’s ultimately, at least for me, a pretty emotionally resonant one and a story that I actually very much care about and relate to. I think that was probably the most exciting part about it, was being able to within the framework of this big machinery of what Star Wars is, still tell a story that might actually affect people and make them feel things, I think was just really cool.

Could you describe how it felt to take on the role of the Joker?

Exciting, intimidating, an honor, and challenging; it’s a role that I didn’t take lightly. I understood what it was, which is that a lot of the people who were seeing me in the role had never heard of me and didn’t know who I was, and it was a way to prove myself and to show off my take of what I could do with this. It was really cool too with that show that we were getting to do something that had never really been done before with the character, which is to show multiple versions and possibilities of what that character could be, and to kind of tip our hat to some of the famous stories that came before, and then kind of give a unique spin and show off some new things with it as well.

Obviously, that show was heightened to a certain degree and kind of existed in this wacky over-the-top violent, but also slightly cartoony universe that was kind of its own little thing. That was really fun to play around with it and to totally get to do something kind of different with that, something that we hadn’t seen before. But I think it was specifically really intimidating because, at that point of casting when I performed the episode in the first season of that show, no one had played the role since Heath Ledger had posthumously won the Oscar for the role. So the only people who had touched it in live-action had been Jack Nicholson and Heath Ledger, which are just massive, massive shoes to fill and two people that I deeply admired. Again, it’s just sort of a case of respect and wanting to kind of come in, just do my absolute best with the material, and to try to pay a certain level of honor to the people that came before.

Anything you can tease about what you’re going to do next? Any future projects?

Absolutely. It’s always difficult with this stuff because there’s only so much you can say. I can say that I just shot a film that hasn’t been announced yet, but I was out of town shooting it for a while. It’s the starring role in the film, and that will come out to theaters in the near future. I’m also working on another project over the course of the next year that I will be working on and off for. Again, thanks to the joys of NDAs, I can’t actually say what it is. I have a movie that I will be doing in June and then also I’m starting to move a bit behind the camera as well. So I’m working on producing and starring in a feature in August or September. And I’m writing a couple of projects right now as well. So it’s a loaded year for the next year, but it’s all very exciting that’s happening.

#LOVED THIS #cameron monaghan #shameless #shameless us #ian gallagher #gallavich #noel fisher #mickey milkovich #jerome valeska #the joker #gotham #jeremiah valeska #mr j #cal kestis #jedi fallen order #star wars

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favefandomimagines · 4 years

Text

Happens For A Reason (d.s.)

Summary: after rudy breaks up with you for elaine, you’re thrusted into the arms of none other than drew starkey.

AN: i wanna marry drew starkey and idk why it took me so long to write for him

also: i know rudy and elaine wouldn’t be the kind of people to do this, this is entirely a work of fiction! no hate to either of them, especially elaine!

You saw it coming. That was the worst part about your ever so subtle break up with Rudy. It was subtle to the fans but you, and everyone else, saw it coming. The second Elaine came into the picture, it was a matter of time before everything went to hell.

You had been dating Rudy since a few weeks after Outer Banks started shooting in May 2019. Now seeing as its April 2020, the rumor mill hadn’t stopped since Elaine’s numerous posts of Rudy.

Drew had known Rudy was going to break up with you for Elaine for a few days and it was killing him not to tell you.

Rudy had confided in him that the relationship with you just wasn’t working anymore. He said he loved you but he couldn’t stay with you when he had feelings for someone else.

Drew told Rudy it was going to hurt your regardless and Rudy just couldn’t accept that he was going to cause you pain.

But then it happened. And the worst part was that you didn’t yell, swear at him or get angry. You were quiet, though he could see the tears brimming in your eyes.

“That’s it? Just, ‘okay?’ You’re not going to yell at me?” Rudy asked you. “I knew this was coming. You and her had been inseparable for months. I was just in the way.” You said sadly. “I still love you, Y/N.” He said. “Not like I love you though.” You replied.

A solemn silence fell upon the apartment as you sat down on your couch. “I think you should go.” You said quietly, quickly wiping the tears from your cheeks so he wouldn’t see.

Of course he felt guilty. He never wanted to hurt you and yet he ended up doing so by making you feel like you were in the way.

You sat on your couch, bringing your knees into your chest to make yourself feel calm. You were on the edge of a full blown panic attack because you felt like you weren’t good enough.

Your boyfriend broke up with you for another girl. What did she have that you didn’t? Aside from Rudy now.

After a few minutes passed by, there was a knock on your apartment door. Whoever it was, you didn’t feel like the company.

Drew left Rudy’s apartment and quickly went to your’s the second his friend returned. He could tell by the look on Rudy’s face that you probably weren’t in the best state of mind.

He knocked on your door and waited for you to answer but that never came.

“Y/N, I have a key so I’m just going to come in anyways.” Drew said from the other side of the door. You didn’t move though. Not feeling like removing yourself from the comfort of your couch.

The door opened and Drew stepped inside, seeing you clinging to yourself on the couch. “Y/N,” He started, walking towards you with haste. He sat down beside you and pulled your distraught figure into his chest.

He held you close as you silently cried to him. “Why wasn’t I good enough?” You asked. Mostly as a rhetorical question but Drew needed to tell you that you were wrong.

“Y/N, you are more than good enough. Rudy’s an idiot and I know one day he’s going to regret ever letting you go.” Drew told you.

In the moment, you didn’t believe him. You thought you’d always be second best.

Over the next few weeks, a whirlwind of things happened to you. You began to realize that your relationship with Rudy was simply because you felt like it was right for you to be together. Your characters on the show were love interests, so of course lines were going to blur.

Outer Banks had been picked up for season 2 but amidst the pandemic, no one knew when filming would start.

And you and Drew had started going out. It started slow, him not wanting to rush you or make you feel like you had to go out with him just because he had feelings for you. But the pandemic had other ideas; the two of you ended up being on lockdown at his apartment.

But neither of you were complaining. You got what you could from your place before hunkering down at Drew’s.

It started out as you sleeping on the couch and various nights of binge watching Netflix. You didn’t tell Madison or Madelyn, in fear of it getting around. The only person Drew told was Austin. Mainly because he had waited so long to be with you he needed to tell someone.

But fans started to notice. Your instagram pictures had the same background as some of Drew’s lives. You’d post a story of a movie and an hour later, Drew would do the same.

Eventually you moved from the couch to Drew’s bed (not sexually). You and Drew got unbelievably close and soon it was time to make it official.

And it was the happiest you had been in quite a long time. Finally you were in a relationship where you didn’t feel second best or as if you weren’t good enough. Drew made sure you knew that you would always be the first choice.

Outer Banks was finally back to filming in Charleston and you were thrilled. You hadn’t seen any of your cast mates since before the pandemic.

You and Drew had arrived shortly after everyone else and met them at Chase’s apartment that night. After the daily COVID test you all would have to endure.

“We’re here!” You greeted as you stepped into the apartment, Drew’s hand wrapped tightly around yours.

Madison and Madelyn ran to you and hugged you tightly, one that you happily returned. “I missed you! Where have you been? You and Drew went AWOL for like two weeks.” Madelyn said.

“We had a little getaway for a bit before all the craziness started. Wanted a little relaxation just the two of us.” You answered. “Seriously you guys are the cutest couple ever. Instagram won’t stop talking about you two.” Madison said. “It’s been, what, five months?” Madelyn asked.

You nodded your head, a sappy smile plastered on your face as you thought about he past five months Drew. “Look at her! She’s blushing!” Madelyn commented.

You and the two girls were in the kitchen talking, while Drew was with the rest of the guys. “How are you and Y/N?” Chase asked. “We’re great. Like seriously, it’s been amazing. It doesn’t feel like it’s only been five months.” Drew answered.

It was clear that Rudy was a bit uncomfortable with the subject matter since you were his ex girlfriend. “Okay, there’s something I want to tell you guys.” Drew started. “And what is that?” Austin asked.

They watched as Drew subtly fished something out of his pocket and all their jaws dropped when they saw what was in his hand. “Dude, no way.” Chase commented. “Are you serious?” JD asked. “Yeah, I got it a couple weeks ago.” Drew answered, a smile on his face.

“I know it’s only been five months but I’ve loved her since that first month on set. The timing just wasn’t right.” He added. That was clearly a dig at Rudy and what had gone down between the two of you. “Don’t you think it’s a little early to get engaged? I mean, I get why’d you want to, you’re 26 but does she? She just turned 22.” Rudy interjected.

Drew felt he had no right to judge him on his relationship with you when he was the one who broke up with you to begin with. “Well, if you actually paid attention to her instead of another girl while you were dating, you’d know that she wants to get married and start a family by 23.” Drew snapped.

“That is true.” JD said bashfully. It seemed that Rudy was so preoccupied with another girl that he didn’t bother to listen to you and everyone else did. No wonder it was so easy for you to move on. You were being treated better than he treated you.

“I don’t know when I want to do it but I want to do it soon. While we’re here because this is where we met.” Drew explained. “I think it’s a great idea. You two are great together and I’ve definitely noticed a change in Y/N. She’s been way happier.” Austin said.

Drew smiled as he looked at the ring in his hand. He went to great lengths to find the perfect ring for you and that was making a fake pinterest account to follow your engagement ring pinterest board.

“Have you told the girls?” JD asked. “Are you kidding? They’d 100% tell her and I want this to be perfect.” Drew said.

Rudy sat there silently to himself, listening to Drew talk about amazing you were and proposing to you. He didn’t need to be reminded of how great you were because he already knew that. He knew better than anyone, he dated you for a year.

“Did you hear about Rudy and Elaine?” Madelyn asked you. “No, what happened?” You asked. “She cheated on him. A few weeks ago actually.” She explained. “Really? Is he okay?” You questioned. “He says he’s fine but I know he’s devastated. I mean, he did let you go for her and it bit him in the ass.” Madison answered.

Of course you felt bad for Rudy. It’s a terrible feeling to be cheated on and you wanted to make sure he was okay. “Should I talk to him?” You asked. “I think he’d appreciate that.” Madelyn said.

After everyone had settled down, you had gotten Rudy’s attention and asked him to join you outside on the balcony.

“What’s up?” He asked. “I, uh, heard about you and Elaine. I’m really sorry.” You said. “It’s okay. It was probably my karma. I let go of the best thing I had and then this happened.” He said.

“Rudy, it happened for a reason. I was devastated after you broke up with me. I thought I wasn’t good enough for you. So, I know how you’re feeling. Like you weren’t good enough and you clearly didn’t make them happy. It sucks but you’ll be okay. I’m okay now.” You told him. “Does he make you happy?” He asked.

You thought back to all the times you were at your lowest and Drew was always there.

“Yeah. Yeah he does.” You said with a smile. “That’s all I want. I just want you to be happy.” He said. You gave him a friendly hug, mainly for closure.

You both walked back inside and Drew pulled you down to sit on his lap. You pressed a kiss to his forehead as you fell into casual conversation with everyone.

Drew looked up at you as you laughed and smiled with your friends, completely enamored with you.

He knew you were it for him and you knew he was your endgame.

Drew had been planning your proposal for a while. It was now October in Charleston and the whole cast was going to the South Carolina aquarium on their day off.

Madison’s girlfriend, Mariah, was also in town visiting and Drew felt it was perfect.

Madelyn would have your parents on Facetime while Chase had Drew’s. All of the people you loved in one place to celebrate you and Drew.

You were walking through the giant ocean exhibit, admiring the animals, holding Drew’s hand.

All of your friends trailed behind, not wanting to ruin your moment.

Drew stopped you and you looked at him with furrowed brows until he got down on one knee.

“What the hell?” You questioned. “Y/N, you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Since the day I met you, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Even when I didn’t have you, I knew we’d end up together. And I know it’s been about seven months but there’s not a doubt in my mind that I want you to be my wife.” Drew started.

Madelyn and Madison were crying, the boys were smiling, Rudy more than the rest. He could see how much Drew loved you, more than he ever thought he could.

“So, Y/N, will you marry me?” He asked. “Duh! Of course I will!” You answered. Drew smiled and placed the ring on your finger.

@y/n__: umm WTF i’m engaged?! i love you to the moon and beyond @drewstarkey

@rudeth: congratulations you wonderful humans! i love both of you

@madelyncline: i’m not crying, you’re crying

@fan1: OMG YAY CONGRATS

@fan2: my otp is getting married!!!!!!

@drewstarkey: i love you more (oh and thanks for agreeing to spend the rest of your life with me)

#imagine #imagines #Outer Banks #outer banks imagine #drew starkey #drew starkey imagine #rafe cameron #rafe cameron imagine #rudy pankow #chase stokes #madison bailey #madelyn cline #austin north #jonathan daviss

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jonsa101 · 3 years

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Yes, There’s Only 14 Episodes in Season 3 But Sharpwin is On Track and Progressing How They’re Supposed To.

There has been so much talk about this season’s writing and the lack of Sharpwin scenes that I thought I would just address everything in this post.

First, the writing this season is NOT BAD! In my honest opinion I actually think this season has some of the best writing in the series. Compared to season two, the writing is head and shoulders above what we got last year. More than ever before we are diving into these characters stories, seeing friendships form, getting a better look into their home life and seeing secondary characters shine! This is a good thing! These were the things that were so desperately needed in season 2 but we didn’t see this play out. I’ve said this before in my infamous season 2 rant and I’ll say it again, a show can’t solely depend on a ship! It has to have great storytelling and good character development for all of it’s main characters. This is what New Amsterdam failed to do in season two and they’re now making it up for it in season 3. The only area I would say the storyline suffered was the Cassian, Helen and Max “love triangle.” There was definitely more intent with that plot before the pandemic. Cassian was not only supposed to be a catalyst for Jealous Max and Sharpwin but he was also supposed to come in and challenge the way Max did things. Cassian’s whole thing was self care first=great patient care which was the complete opposite of Max and the two of them were supposed to clash. Obviously this completely changed due to the pandemic. You can’t have a storyline about a doctor prioritizing himself first for “better patient care”in the midst of thousands of doctors globally throwing themselves on the frontlines and even loosing their lives to COVID-19. It would have been a terrible look to have that storyline so they clearly scrapped it! What we saw was probably them trying to salvage whatever was left from the original plot while they still had Daniel Dae Kim in the limited amount of episodes for season 3.

Apart from that, I think the writers are doing a fantastic job in terms of character development this season. Arguably I would say that Iggy probably has the best storyline so far and that’s incredible for his character. Tyler Labine is acting his ass off and Iggy’s scenes with Lauren, Vijay and Martin were top tier!!! We are finally getting a Max and Reynolds bromance that was teased in season one but literally know where to be found in season two! It’s great seeing them bond on screen and I hope we get more moments with these two. We’re also seeing Reynold’s “life plan” blow up in his face and we finally have some closure with Bloom. They kept us in limbo for so long! We didn’t know if him and Bloom were truly over but now we finally know. Also, it seems like he and Evie are officially done as well and he might have a new love interest on the horizon. For Lauren, she’s clearly seems to be having a coming out story which is something I didn’t see coming at all. I’m really curious how they’re going to play this out for her and can’t wait to see it unfold. Last but not least, for Max and Helen they are both going through massive character development phases which leads me to my second point.

I love a good Max and Helen scene as much as the next person. To me they’re the ultimate ship and I want to see them thrive and flourish but just because we don’t see Max and Helen interact doesn’t mean that the show isn’t properly developing or investing in their relationship!!!!!!!!The relationship between Max and Helen is so nuanced that their relationship doesn’t hang in the balance because they don’t have more witty, flirtatious, or emotional dialogue. Don’t get me wrong, I adore those moments. Those scenes between them make us the passionate sharwpin shippers we are. At the same time though, we have to truly take a look at why the state of their relationship is where its at now and why from a narrative perspective their current interactions make sense. In order to do this, we have to take a look at where Max and Helen left off last year.

At the end of season 2, Max made a move on Helen and almost kissed her in her office. After this moment occurred he never addressed it and at the time he was still dating Alice. There’s no doubt in my mind that this was the catalyst for why Helen started dating Cassian in the first place. She had practically laid her feelings out there and told Max he was the reason she gave up half of her department. After this revelation and the massive, intimate moment he initiated in her office, he didn’t even have the decency to address it. He swept it under the rug and wanted to keep the same relationship that he had with her like nothing ever happened. Even though Helen was aware about Alice, we now know from season 3 that Helen felt a type away that Max never “officially” told Helen that he was dating her. This is IMPORTANT!!! Max and Helen did not end on a high note in season 2. In fact, the very last scenes we see of season 2 is Helen blowing off Max to go on a date with Cassian and Max breaking off things with Alice. I know this wasn’t intentional due to the season being cut short but it definitely contributes to where they are now.

Fast forward a year later, and not only do we still have a massive almost kissed elephant in the room between Max and Helen but also the trauma of being on the frontlines of a pandemic and going through the biggest social justice movement the world has seen. This is something I’ve said many times over but I’m not sure the fandom recognizes how much these events have permanently altered these characters and changed the dynamics of this show. COVID-19 changed everything. The Black Live Matter Movement for the first time grabbed the attention of the world and changed everything too! Max and Helen are in the process of trying to heal and rebuild their lives the best they can as individuals after such a tumultuous year. At the same time, they are acutely aware of the feelings they have for each other and the UST between them and are carrying the weight of that as well. Naturally guys, the combination of all this is going to change most dynamics in a relationship. Things are awkward and distant because Max and Helen are awkward and distant!! They have a lot of shit that they’re going through as individuals and subconsciously as a “couple.” They are clearly not in a healthy place to be as vulnerable as they once were to each other. And how can they be when their feelings have literally been eating at them for over year?! It’s hard to ignore that and try to force yourself to go back to the way things were. Especially when their feelings have “technically” been out in the open since the end of season 2. They both know what it is! They were steps away from unleashing years of built up sexual tension between them and they went on with their lives like it never even happened. Max walking in on her and Cassian kissing in HER OFFICE and subsequently having that convo with Helen was not for shits and giggles. It triggered the BEAST of his feelings that he had fought so hard to suppress. There is no doubt in my mind that when he saw them in her office kissing, he was having some serious dejavu to their almost kissing affair last year. He‘s in love with her and she’s in love with him but this what happens when you continuously try and run away from those feelings and let it fester instead of trying to deal with it head on. The dynamic were seeing between them now is a result of their unresolved issues and it absolutely plays into Sharpwin’s story. It doesn’t take away from it. It makes sense for where they are NOW!

If we look at season three holistically, you’ll realize that a momentum for something significant happening for Sharpwin has been set through the acting and writing. I got to give it to Ryan Eggold. He has that fire and desire, Mr. Darcy type level acting down to a tee so far. It is so satisfying seeing Max so overcome with his feelings that you can tangibly see it in his body language and hear it in his voice. We have seen Max taken aback by Helen before but we have NEVER seen him like this. I keep on saying it but this is different guys. Something has shifted and it seems like Max is on the verge of exploding. His feeling are burning hot right underneath the surface and it’s a beautiful thing to behold. Last night’s episode was ripe with this type of content and Ryan was in his acting bag! It wasn’t an overtly “Sharpwin” episode but the writing and the acting is so clever and methodical, it will have you thinking otherwise. At the beginning of season 3 Max told Helen that he wants to build something better for Luna and something better for her. Was last night not a beautiful reflection of that? One question asking Max if he has ever loved a black woman put him in the shoes of his patient’s husband and had Max advocating for his wife like he would advocate for Helen if it was her! If that’s not fucking romantic I don’t know what it is and if the alarm bells aren’t going off that there is something deeper at play here with a huge payoff around the corner I don’t know what to tell you! Another moment that sticks out to me like a sore thumb is when Helen was telling Cassian that her brother died. I wrote about this in a previous meta of mind but Helen at her most vulnerable telling Cassian that she feels like she’s running out of time is SO SIGNIFICANT guys!!! It’s not only tell us that she fears that she’s missing out on the windows of opportunities for the wants and needs in her life but it literally sets the pacing of how quickly Sharpwin is going to progress. It is the beautiful freudian slip that tells us exactly where things are headed for these two. To me this is equivalent to Max telling Helen “I love my doctor” and “what if I want you?” in season 1. This episode had no interaction between Max and Helen but it was a MASSIVE Sharpwin indicator through and through! These are just a couple of examples but even their respective journeys in parenting is so Sharpwin driven. So in all I’m not mad in the direction the show has taken to showcase their relationship this season because Sharpwin is deeply interwoven in the storyline this year even if it’s not overtly obvious through emotional dialogue/ interactions.

Also, one thing you have to realize is this, season three is wrapping up a lot of loose ends from season 2 and when it comes to Max and Helen these two points will be/ have to be addressed in the next six episodes.

The Almost Kiss

Whether or Not They Want To Be Together

The showrunners know without a shadow of doubt that the resolution for these two points is owed! If Sharpwin is talking about their almost kiss, there is no way that they aren’t talking about what they mean to each other and what their future looks like together. Both solutions literally go hand in hand and I promise you they are not delaying the resolution for that till season 4. It’s not happening fam. We will see this play out within the next six episodes. So in hindsight, more Sharpwin interaction are on the horizon.

When I was making predictions about this season I wasn’t aware that this season would only be 14 episodes. I’m sad that season 3 is so short but that still doesn’t change my mind for where I think the story is going. Call me crazy but I’m sticking to my guns. There is something about how Ryan is portraying Max that is signaling something huge. Also I just trust the context clues that i believe the show is giving. I trust it! Anyway y’all! If you have any sharpwin question just DM here or message me on Twitter! my username is @oyindaodewale.

Love you guys! ❤️

#sharpwin #new amsterdam #max goodwin #helen sharpe #max x helen #sharpwin meta #new amsterdam meta

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