#no grandpa and the governor are not in the game. they are making out in the game room

[octodrop]

stardew characters based on who is most likely to win in a hunger games situation

it's been a hot minute since I made this, but here's some additional thoughts on some characters, from bottom to top:

clint would try and find emily to pair up with but she would already be gone. hed mope around in the open which would leave him an easy target

abigail would think shes such hot shit. but the second shes actually in a threatening situation she would hesitate which would be her downfall

pam and george are both way too stubborn to team up with anyone and it would easily come to their downfalls

sebastian does not have the skills to survive on his own. im sorry

snail is just used to that sort of thing but hes so easily killable. come on

morris thinks hes better than everyone this motherfucker would not team up with anyone if he could

listen. i love sam. but hes kinda dumb. hed get distracted and lost super easily

elliott deserves a dramatic death i think. also its just really funny to me. this man gets blown up

penny has 0 survival skills

i feel like krobus and dwarf would be those kind of deaths that happen without anyone knowing. there's a fire, and they're all alone.

i feel like leo's tendency to live in trees would be his downfall. again, with the fire example, he could get cut off by fire really quickly and have nowhere to go

leah definitely has some survival skills. And I think she'd last longer than most. She has proficiency in some tools that could be used as weapons, But I think she'd be pretty vulnerable in a stage hazard event, especially if she's making it alone.

shane, haley and birdie are pretty self explanatory. Have you seen Haley when she gets pissed off?

I had a whole thought process for Demetrius: Demetrius, Robin and Maru would all stick together (Sebastian had already seperated from everyone else). Demetrius would be super protective of Maru, not wanting anything to happen to his baby girl. But Maru insists she's going to be okay and she knows what to do if she's in danger: the protocols, etc. Demetrius worries if he's being unreasonably anxious over her safety so allows Maru to take a short journey to find water. She heads out. Time passes. A long time passes. There's no sign of Maru. Robin and Demetrius look for her. She'd been attacked. she passes away. demetrius blames himself for the loss and obsesses over it. Robin tries to help him but he can't move on, leaving him an easy target.

I don't remember why I put jodi there?

Gus would absolutely try to help out where he can. but ultimately he's just kind of a guy, he doesn't really have that many survival skills

Linus is hardy and he'd definitely want to help out as many people as he can. But I feel like someone would take advantage of this and kill him

gunther also has the drive to help the community. he can't provide much as an archaeologist but he would definitely do what he could

Harvey would be picked up pretty quickly by a group; his skills as a physician are invaluable in such a setting. This man is a trained professional, and would be protected with whatever it takes. He'd have a lot of support early on, but as number start to decline he'd become more vulnerable. Unfortunately for Harvey, he's physically weak, and does not have it in him to ever cause harm to another human being.

Magnus is a very knowledgeable man, and I think him, Marlon, Gil, Alex and Harvey would make an incredibly strong team. Magnus and Marlon would be experts at tracking field hazards and traps, furthermore, I think Magnus would be the first to sense any sort of approaching disturbance, providing the group with a lot of forewarning and time to prepare for danger. But physically? he doesn't fight with his hands, and if he's unprepared for a physical confrontation, he's gonna suffer

Alex is very physically fit. Honestly? I think he'd be good in a fight. With someone like Magnus to compensate for his himbo nature, he'd go very far. But without that....

Gil, the admin guy, is apparently very good in a fight. yet, we've never seen him leave his chair? the mans gotta rest. so I have no way of knowing how good his fighter instincts are

Then we have the final 3:

Marlon is a very skilled and active adventurer, and aside from what I mentioned above, he's a very seasoned fighter and honestly a powerful survivor so he's an incredibly good candidate for the final 3

Robin is physically active, aware, has the drive and does not a lot of hesitation. She has proficiency in a number of tools that could be used as a weapon, and she has the ability to construct good shelter. Like cmon. how could she not

Kent has been through this before. He's been around the block, knows how to sleep on limited food with one eye open. He's army trained and a war survivor. He knows what he's doing and wouldn't hesitate to kill

Winner:

Emily is an absolute enigma. She has powers beyond any man. I don't know how to elaborate on this any further, but I just know it to be true

#i made this weeks ago. i thought the community would like to see this #stardew valley #no grandpa and the governor are not in the game. they are making out in the game room #octotext

[kingdoms-and-empires]

I love your game, it’s so good! I did cry real tears when grandpa made us complicit in those executions, though. I used to love him but now I kinda hate him for what he made us a part of. Like, I understand where he’s coming from and that he’s trying to teach us how to be a strong ruler like him, but I refuse his teachings. I was so excited after our success at Welkesh, I was gonna fix Silverhill’s problems and gain their loyalty and then… that. Now I kinda hope one day I can stand over Old King Remiel on his deathbed and tell him, “thank you for all of your lessons, grandfather. I will ensure they die with me.” But in the meantime I can’t wait to see our mom Fuck Him Up when she learns what he made us do!

he isnt supposed to be a perfect being. I really wanna explore the complexities of a person and their motivations. No one is just good or bad. They have failings in certain areas. Examples from the Lymarkian family from the old demo that'll reappear in the birthday arc.

Ophelia, daughter of the fallen royalty of Lymark: She deeply cares for her people, loves her children, and genuinely doesn't want make waves. She just wants to be left alone, including her people so they may recuperate from an invasion. So when Otto asked for reinforcements, she helped and looked out for her people by ensuring that her forces stayed within Lymark's borders. Though the empire may see it as a slight and disobeying orders. Imperials may see her as only looking out for her own and not caring for her neighbors.

She hasnt hurt anyone, but perspective can manipulate founded and unfounded actions that are perceived to be harmful or beneficial. Alllll depending on the person.

Prince Daerin, Lord Governor of Lymark: He had an affair with Alicia, producing the bastard Frederick currently in the care of the Mendrions. He likes to drink, have fun, is temperamental, used to be an alcoholic, and used to sleep around. (I know some of you will ask how can he sleep around, isn't that dangerous cause of the bloodline and the risk of it falling blah blah blah. Itll show up ingame later, it just haven't come up yet because you wouldn't tell a child the birds and the bees at that age yet.) Anyways, he's long since stopped much of his rowdy behavior after marrying Ophelia and is trying to be a better man than he used to be for his wife and children. He's also an effective administrator, fair to his people, and considerate during rulings. He is a good leader to have! But he struggles with his own demons as do the rest of us.

Youre not going to see acts of cartoonish villainry here, from most of my characters. Youre going to see people trying to live and do what they can. That can mean trying to do what they can to survive, or do right, or get by. That can make some characters predictable, or very unpredictable if you don't know their motivations or goals.

#kingdomsandempires #questions

[velvet-apricots]

A friend went “Fyra lore when” and I realized aside from my fanfics I have not really given a lot of info about my Tarnished! So here we go.

Fyra is like Roderika and Fia, in that she comes from outside the lands between, from a group of Tarnished who broke off from Godfrey when he was banished and settled and made their own way in life, going from warriors to farmers, blacksmiths, and carpenters. They all live in villages scattered in a fertile valley, and have a governor that lives in a wooden fort. They are not a strong or super wealthy  people but the warrior blood still runs in them and they can defend themselves decently enough.

Fyra is a farm girl on a big farm her father owns and works on, she has a country accent, and a strong body. She spent her time feeding the chickens, milking cows, and fighting off minor nuisances to keep said chickens and cows safe. As such, she can hold a sword and has a bit of combat skill. She has no formal education, but can read/write and do basic math. She can’t solve ten times ten or tell you what precarious means, but she knows that when you have six eggs from one chicken, and four from another, you have ten eggs

She used to talk a lot. She was a chatterbox and a flirt and likes boys (and girls sometimes). Her father gave up trying to stop her from having fun with them and just gives a basic “don't let 'em put it in you till you're married’ warning to her. 

She is very girly and likes dresses.

She was unmarried and in her 20s when she left. She has sutors though… Well she had suitors.

Fyra has a grandmother, who likes to tell stories to her about the lands between, however her grandmother tells stories of before the shattering, so when Fyra does get to the lands between by hitching a ride on a boat with other Tarnished who are trying to make the journey, the lands are not much like what she envisioned in her head.

There are no undead where fyra is, but there are dragons. A big old dragon lives in the mountains around the valley, and there are other creatures one could consider ‘fantasy’ like (oversized spiders, giant rats, goblins, giant bats, ect). Whether the dragon comes from the lands between or somewhere else is not really known, as it leaves them alone, and the people in turn leave it alone.

Fyra’s mother and grandfather both passed away. IDk why either died, but for her grandpa, probably old age.

Fyra at first ignored the call of the lost grace, but oer time the fires of ambition burned hotter and hotter in her, until all she wanted was to fulfill the prophecy of being elden lord, even if it seemed impossible, given she had no real skill aside from the bare minimum. It was the fire that drove her onward.

Fyra hitched a ride to the lands between on the same boat Godfrey did.

Her talkative nature was killed pretty soon after coming to the lands between. She spoke to much to a certain white masked man, and he got so annoyed with her, his facade cracked and he murdered her by cutting out her tongue. He tried to be nice after she revived and helped her as he does in game, but you really can’t go back from that, can you? After that, she stopped talking a lot, fearing someone else would do the same, and in time, that fear morphed into a fear of just talking to people in general, because everyone she spoke to suffered in some way. By the time she slays the elden beast, she is totally mute.

In her time of trauma, Gideon shows her kindness, as such she latched onto him and grew to love him deeply, even if he was heavily flawed.

Rogier was her best and first friend in the lands between. His passing hurt her deeply. 

She was also close to Fia, and while she liked D, he eventually stopped talking to her as she too pitied the undead. When Fia killed D, Fyra was horrified and felt like it was her fault as she gave him the dagger. 

Fyra is also close friends with Nepheli, despite the awkwardness that comes with… well fucking her dad. Nepheli considers Fyra her family, with fyra feeling the same. When Gideon abandons her, Fyra tries to mend their relationship and give Nepheli comfort. In the end, Nepheli becomes Lord of Stormveil, and while she has civil conversations with Gideon and considers him her father still, there is no fixing what was never broken in the first place.

Boc means everything to her. She loves him and encourages him in everything he does. Indeed, he becomes a royal seamster to her, making her all of her dresses once she becomes Elden Lord. And though maybe not perfect, she loves every single one of them. As one of her few remaining friends, she is protective of him, and won't let anyone talk down to him.

Fyra of course is close to Hewg and Roderika as well, as both of them temper her weapons and ashes respectively. Fyra is so grateful they both get out of Roundtable Hold when it is burning with the Erdtree

Fyra’s favored ashes are the lone wolves Ranni gifted her, Banished Night Oleg, and the Crystalian.

Fyra is terrified of Seluvis. Like, legitimately she is so creeped out by him. Once she learned what he did, she left Ranni’s rise and never returned, leaving a lot of work unfinished. She feels terrible for it, but that man… That man freaked her out.

On the other hand, she very much likes Iji, Blaidd, and Ranni. She calls Ranni “Miss Ranni”, which Ranni finds endearing.

Fyra also does not like Dung Eater. When Boggart warned her of him, and she found out he had a physical location, she went out and flat out murdered him in his prison cell. She had no regrets doing that.

She’s so nice to him, Patches can’t really bring himself to shove her off that cliff. Other then that he doesnt think a whole lot of her, given she’s as gullible as a three yearold when they first meet.

She. Adores. Alexander. Like, he was one of her most favorite people to run into cause he was so jolly and clumsy.

She liked Dialos a lot, and helped him when she could. She probably would flirted with him, had they met under different cercumstances.

#Fyra the 'i fucked your dad' tarnished #oc #elden ring oc #elden ring spoilers #elden posting

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Epilogue 3: A Love So Tender

A/N:  Well, here it is, folks...the last epilogue of The President Wears Prada series.  It’s been a blast.  Like with Alone, Together and The Storm Before the Calm, we’ve created a little community on this blog, except this time we joined together during quarantine and a global pandemic!  I posted the prologue to this April 27th (so right in the thick of it lol) and I’ve been so happy giving you guys something to look forward to every Monday these past eight months!  Keep asking your Willberdeen canon questions forever and ever!

Be on the lookout for the post date of my Brock Boeser mini-series “Peaceful Easy Feeling” -- I’ll announce it and put it on my Masterlist.  Then, I’ll start my next big series!

As always, happy reading :)

March 2034

“Mooooommmmmyyyyyy!  Mommy look!” six-year-old Saoirse Nylander ran through the house to the kitchen where she knew her mom was ready with breakfast.  “Look!  Daddy let me do my own hair!”

Aberdeen looked down at her daughter to see her blonde hair fixed in to a half ponytail…well, a six-year-old’s version of a half ponytail.  Aberdeen smiled down at her daughter.  “Looks good!” she smiled.  “Can I fix it a little bit before we go to Andy and Maia’s house?”

“Can I eat first?” Saoirse asked as Aberdeen heard more footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Of course!  Your oatmeal is right over there,” she nodded her head towards the bowl already set up for her daughter.  As Saoirse moved and climbed into the counter stool to eat, Aberdeen looked to her left to see William enter the room, holding their three-year-old son in his arms.  “My two Williams,” she smiled.

“Mowning mama,” William Jr. said as Willy placed him down in his own stool, his own bowl of oatmeal also ready to go.  

William walked around the island and gave Aberdeen a kiss on the cheek before placing his hand on her stomach tenderly.  “Morning, minskatt,” he said before pouring himself some coffee.  He looked back at his kids, eating their oatmeal.  “Are you excited to see Maia, Saoirse?”

“Mhm,” she smiled.  “Can I bring my colouring book so Maia and I can colour?”

“Of course you can!” William smiled.  “You know how much Maia loves to colour with you.”

“When you and mommy get home, I’m gonna have a beeeeeeautiful picture,” Saoirse exclaimed before spooning some more oatmeal into her mouth.

Both Aberdeen and William looked at their fridge, adorned with ripped out pages from colouring books that Saoirse and William Jr. did for them.  “We can’t wait,” Aberdeen smiled.

***

“Mr. and Mrs. Nylander, I know that we’ve confirmed your pregnancy,” Dr. Collinson spoke to the happy couple.  

“We needed the tie-breaker,” William joked.

“Indeed,” he chuckled.  “But I must ask you both…have you gone through any fertility treatments that I’m not aware of?  IVF, artificial insemination?”

William and Aberdeen looked at each other before looking back at their doctor – the same doctor who had been there and helped birth Saoirse and William Jr.  “No…” William shook his head.  “We figured we were okay…I mean, with Saoirse’s and William’s pregnancies being pretty easy with no major complications, and the fact that we didn’t have to try for very long before Aberdeen got pregnant…” he trailed off.

Dr. Collinson nodded his head.  “That’s good to know.  Because I do have some further news for you.”

“What’s that?” Aberdeen asked.

“You’re having twins.”

The words hung in the air for an excruciatingly long period of time.  “Excuse me?” Aberdeen asked.

“Twins.  You’re having twins, Mrs. Nylander.”

Aberdeen looked over at William.  “I’m going to cut your penis off.”

***

“TWINS!!!!!” Bee exclaimed, jumping up and down as she hugged Aberdeen.  “Twins, Aberdeen!  Oh my goodness!”

“More Nylanders?” Morgan piped in.  “Christ almighty.”

***

“TWINS?!” Aleida was shocked when Aberdeen told her the news over the phone.  “Twins!”

“Who’s having twins?” Aberdeen could hear Fred’s voice in the background.

“Aberdeen and Will!”

There was a pause.  “More Nylanders?  Good God.”

***

“Twins, William?  You knocked her up with twins?” Jason deadpanned into the phone.

“We’ll have four, just like you,” William said.

“More Nylanders…Jesus Christ.”

***

“Oh!  What fantastic news!” Svea beamed over the FaceTime call.  Elias was smiling beside her.  “You must be so excited, guys.”

“We are.  We joked that we were only supposed to have one tie-breaker though,” Aberdeen said, looking at William beside her briefly.  “Now we’re getting two.”

“Do you know the sexes?”

“Not yet.  In a few weeks they’ll tell us if they’re identical or fraternal, and I think that will be very informational,” William said.

“More Nylanders…” Elias shook his head.  “God help us all.”

***

“This is fantastic news, Aberdeen.  You’re such a great mom already,” Brendan said from across the table, his smile stretching from ear to ear.  “Saoirse and Will Jr – I mean they’re just delights.”

“Thank you, Brendan.  There will be two more to add to the MLSE family room during games.  Not to mention more Nylanders occupying the city of Toronto.”

“More Nylanders…wow.”

***

September 2034

The Toronto Maple Leafs and the entire MLSE organization would like to extend our heartfelt congratulations to William Nylander and his wife Aberdeen Bloom on the birth of their twins, Jonas Alexander and Astrid Elina.  Jonas and Astrid join big siblings Saoirse and William Jr.  

***

November 2035

BREAKING: Aberdeen Bloom, the youngest person ever to win the Booker Prize for Fiction, has just won the prize for a second time for her latest novel, A Love So Fond.  Bloom becomes the third woman (after Hilary Mantel and Margaret Atwood) to win the Booker Prize twice, but the first woman under forty to accomplish the feat.  

***

The First Monday in May, 2036

William looked at Aberdeen lovingly as she touched up her lipstick in the mirror of their hotel room.  She was wearing a beautiful dress, styled to perfection.  He was wearing a suit, tailored to equal perfection.  “You look beautiful, minskatt,” he said, hoping it would calm her down a bit.  He knew she was nervous.

She looked over at him as she clicked shut the lipstick tube.  “We’re going to the Met Gala, Willy,” she said as if it was the first time he’d heard the news.  He’d heard.  He’d heard for months now.  Anna Wintour invited them to the event.  Aberdeen screamed bloody murder when she got the invite.  “We’re going to the Met Gala.”

He giggled slightly.  “I know.  Who would have thought all those years ago two kids who hooked up the night of a graduation would make their way to the Met Gala.”

Aberdeen smiled.  “Who would have thought an aspiring writer and a hockey player would accomplish so much that we’d even get invited to the Met Gala.”

“I had nothing to do with this,” William shook his head, smiling.  “You did all of this.  I’m just in the background, remember?”

Aberdeen couldn’t help but smile.  The man in front of her supported her dreams without question.  There was nothing she thought of that William didn’t think she’d be able to accomplish.  Her two Booker Prizes were evidence of that.  Her Governor General’s Awards and Giller Prizes were evidence of that.  Her numerous other awards were evidence of that.  “You’re not in the background, Willy,” she told him once more.  It was something she told him time and time again, even though she knew he was joking.  To think he still used a joke he made when she was twenty-two years old…she couldn’t help but laugh.  “You’re the reason I’m able to do this.”

Their conversation was cut short by Aberdeen’s phone ringing.  When she dug it out of her purse, she saw Orla requesting a FaceTime call.  “It’s the kids again,” she said, holding up the phone and turning around so that when she answered it, whoever was calling would see both their parents.  When she accepted, she saw Saoirse’s face first.  “Hi baby,” Aberdeen cooed.  “Did you forget to tell us something?”

“Maia wants to know if she can come over this weekend to play.  Is that okay?” she asked.

“Of course,” William answered.  “I’ll talk to Uncle Morgan about it when we get home tomorrow night.”

“Let me see!” William Jr.’s voice was heard off camera.  Soon, Saoirse had turned the camera around so he could see his parents.  “Hi mom and dad.”

“Hi baby,” Aberdeen cooed again.  “Do you have a question too?”

“No,” he said.  “You look pretty, mama.”

Aberdeen couldn’t help but swoon.  “Thank you, baby.  Are you having a good time at grandma and grandpa’s house?”

He nodded his head enthusiastically.  “Grandma just made popcorn!”

“Wooooo!  Movie night!” William exclaimed from behind her.  “Be good!  Go to bed on time.”

“I will,” William Junior nodded his head.  “Bye daddy.  Bye minskatt.”

Aberdeen furrowed her brows but couldn’t help but laugh at her son.  She could hear William chuckle from behind her too.  ���William!  Why’d you call me that?!”

Williiam Junior didn’t know what the big deal was.  He knew he was named after his dad; it was only fitting that he test his limits and call his mom by her first name too.  “Daddy’s name is William, and my name is William, and your name is minskatt!  Daddy always calls you that!  Hi minskatt, bye minskatt, I love you minskatt.  Minskatt is your name!” he argued like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  

William thought back to so, so many years ago.  To Aberdeen asking him why he called her minskatt and him telling her why.  A tear escaped his eye and he brought his hand up quickly to cover it.  Aberdeen noticed.  She looked back at William Jr.  “Okay William.  We’ll talk more when we get home, okay?  You better be good for grandma and grandpa.”

Aberdeen ended the call with a couple of more air kisses.  When she was finished, she placed her phone down and saw that William kept wiping his cheeks with his thumb.  “Hey…hey come here,” she said gently, walking over to him because she knew he wouldn’t move.  “Was it Junior?” she asked.

William nodded his head.  “You remember what I told you, like, fifteen years ago?  About why I call you minskatt?”

Aberdeen nodded her head automatically.  She’d never forgotten.  “Of course,” she said softly, bringing her hands up to wipe some of his tears away with her own thumbs.  “It was always your dream, wasn’t it?”

William nodded.  He leaned down slightly to kiss her, even though he knew he’d get lipstick on him and that Aberdeen would have to reapply it for the fourth time before they even left the hotel.  “I know you’ve accomplished so much with your writing and I’ve accomplished so much with hockey but my best accomplishment is you.  Us.  Our family.  The love I have for you.”

Aberdeen nodded her head.  She understood.  She knew.  “Mine too.”

“It’s been fifteen years.  Fifteen years and four kids, Aberdeen.  And still.  Still.  I think about you when I’m not even thinking.”

Aberdeen smiled.  She kissed him once more.  “Jag tänker på dig när jag inte ens tanker.”

#william nylander #william nylander imagine #william nylander fic #william nylander fan fic #toronto maple leafs #toronto maple leafs imagine #toronto maple leafs fic #toronto maple leafs fan fic #william nylander blurb #toronto maple leafs blurb #nhl #nhl imagine #nhl fic #nhl fan fic #nhl blurb #hockey #hockey imagine #hockey fic #hockey fan fic #hockey blurb #the president wears prada series

[ambiguoslyambitious]

Chapter One: A Second Chance to Live A Life Worth Living

Author: ambiguoslyambitious (me!)

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 2,402

Summary: Getting a job at Joja Corporation was supposed to be Bela Rivers' big break in the business world. Anyone who wanted to be successful in Stardew Valley dreamed at working in one of their corporate offices. However, life inside a cubicle is not what it's all cracked up to be, and the company that she is working for is harboring some deep secrets. A mysterious envelope gifted to Bela by her recently deceased grandfather might hold the key to a second chance to live a life worth living.

“M-Ms. Rivers? Hello?” a desperately cheery voice called out, a twinge of annoyance hiding just below the surface.

Bela pulled her eyes away from the harsh white light of the computer monitor in front of her to meet the even harsher glare of her supervisor, Mary Boerhen. Mary was a miserable woman cloaked in grey, both in personality and attire.

“Apologies, Ms. Boerhen,” Bela forced a smile to hide her hatred for pleasantries. “What can I do for you?”

Bela had just spent the past three hours aimlessly staring at her monitor, dreading spending yet another day updating spreadsheets. Every once in a while she glanced up at the menacing green light signaling that she was unfortunately still on the clock. The words, Join us. Thrive, seemed to be mocking her every day she was forced to sit in her corporate-issued personal hell. Bela had once held excitement for her job inputting data for Joja Corporation, the nation’s leading industry in just about everything. Everyone knew that if you wanted to make a solid living in Zuzu City, you just had to get a job with Joja.

However, that excitement soon faded once she had been squeezed into a tiny cubicle, condemned to spend her entire nine-to-five repeatedly going over numbers, day in and day out. She had thought that her recent degree in business administration, paired with her relation to the governor of Stardew Valley, would’ve given her the upper hand amongst her peers for a more “hands on” job opportunity within the company.

Unfortunately, she was still stuck crunching numbers like the rest of them, an insignificant cog in the corporate machine.

“Well, Ms. Rivers,” the woman sneered, “you could actually do the job you were hired to do.” Ms. Boerhen pursed her lips and turned away sharply, presumably to bark at anyone else who appeared to be slacking off.

Bela let out a small sigh, her fingers gravitating towards her desk drawer where a letter from her grandfather was resting. Once again, Bela felt her thoughts wander as she sadly remembered her last visit to him.

It had been ten years since Bela had last been to Pelican Town, a quaint little farming community located in the heart of Stardew Valley. As a child, Bela remembered spending each summer frolicking in the fields of Riverland Farm, a massive expanse of farmland spread out on a vast variety of small islands. However, her last visit wasn't so happy.

Bela remembered being thirteen years old watching from the train window, the city fading into the countryside. Harsh lights were replaced with the glow of fireflies and cement gave way to worn-down dirt paths. Her parents were tense the entire train ride, her father especially. She remembered the way his jaw was clenched and the tight grip he maintained with her mother's hand. Unbeknownst to Bela, this was going to be the last time that she was going to see her grandfather alive.

Walking into the farmhouse, Bela remembered how frail her grandfather looked in his cot. He lifted his head and offered her a weak smile.

"My dear, Bela," his voice was barely above a whisper. Bela desperately tried to prevent any tears from escaping, but seeing the ghost of a man she remembered as being vibrant broke her young heart. Before she could break down, her father's voice boomed angrily.

"Why didn't you say anything sooner?!" Her father's voice shook slightly, though Bela could not tell if it was from rage or sadness.

"What difference," the old man responded coolly, "would that have made?"

Bela's mother placed a hand on her father's shoulder, a desperate attempt to calm him down.

"I do not wish to argue, Jacob," Bela's grandfather said, meeting his son's furious gaze. "I know that I've made mistakes. I just wanted to tell you goodbye and give you the chance to say the same." Suddenly, he bent over in a violent fit of coughing, forcing Bela's father's gaze to cool into concern.

“...and for you, my special granddaughter, I want you to have this,” he managed to choke out, handing Bela an envelope enclosed by a vibrant purple seal, bearing the Rivers family crest, a pair of swans facing each other with the phrase, a flumine perduraverit, written between them.

Before she had a chance to open it, Bela’s grandfather blurted out, “No, no, don’t open it yet...Have patience, my dear.”

Her grandfather smiled weakly before continuing on, “Now, listen close...There will come a day where you feel crushed by the burden of modern life, and your bright spirit will fade before a growing emptiness. When that happens, my child, then you will be ready for this gift. Now, let grandpa rest...”

A few weeks went by before her grandfather finally passed. Bela's father quietly had him buried on the property without a funeral and refused to go back. Or at least, until now.

While Bela sat at her desk bored, her parents were currently boarding a train to Pelican Town in order to find the proper documents to sell Riverland Farms. They planned to use the money to fund their retirement and help Bela get her own apartment.

I wonder what’s in the letter that Grandpa left me, Bela mused, swirling a pencil between her fingers. She let out an exasperated sigh and decided that it was finally time to begin her work. Not even five minutes into crunching numbers the phone on her desk began to ring.

“Good afternoon from Joja Corporations, this is Bela. How can I be of assistance?” Bela answered perkily, rolling her eyes at the spiel she was taught to spit.

“Bela Rivers,” a serious voice responded, “you are wanted in Mr. Jameson’s office.”

Bela immediately straightened up in her seat and her heart rate quickened as she realized that she was being summoned to her superior’s office.

Damn it, she cursed to herself. Ms. Boerhen ratted me out to the big boss.

Bela took a quick breath before replying calmly, “Of course, I’ll be right there.”

She quickly placed the phone back on the receiver and stood up, mentally preparing herself for a scolding for her less than desirable performance. As she walked down the hallway to Mr. Jameson's office, she silently began to berate herself for wasting such a golden opportunity. Her heels clicked loudly like the hands of a clock, counting down the seconds until she was out of a job.

As she stood outside of Mr. Jameson’s door, Bela closed her eyes briefly and knocked raptly.

“Ms. Rivers, you may come in.”

Bela pushed the door gently, surprised to see the amount of people in the office. At the giant desk made entirely of glass, sat Mr. Jameson, a stocky man dressed in a sharp, yet dull grey suit that matched his seemingly lifeless expression. Next to him, sat a meek looking woman in a similarly bland pantsuit who avoided looking in Bela’s direction. Across from them sat two men wearing long black coats over simple business casual wear. When she entered the room, the older of the two gentlemen stood up, clutching a gold badge in his right hand.

“Hello Ms. Rivers, my name is Detective Hanlon,” the man then gestured to his more youthful companion, “and my partner Detective Gaumond.”

“Detectives?” Bela questioned, wondering why the hell the police were getting involved with her lack of productivity. You can’t be arrested for being lazy, right?

“Yes, unfortunately Ms. Rivers, there seems to have been an accident on the tracks near The Mountain.”

Bela’s heart skipped a beat. She couldn’t believe what the detective was saying. “W-what? What happened?”

The younger detective briefly made eye contact with Bela, a genuine sadness in his eyes before he ducked his head.

“I’m afraid that your parents, Mr. Jacob and Mrs. Kiera Rivers, were both killed in the rockslide on their way to Pelican Town.”

The young detective stood up and gave her a pitying look, “I’m deeply sorry for your loss, Ms. Rivers. This has been an unfortunate accident. These types of natural disasters are completely unpredictable.”

It was as if Bela had been sucker punched right in the chest. She stood there in complete disbelief until a faint whisper of a memory tickled the back of her mind.

“Wait,” Bela said coldly, moving her eyes over to the two behind the desk who refused to meet her gaze, “hasn’t Joja been mining in The Mountain?”

Mr. Jameson quickly looked over at the woman to his side, a bead of sweat trailing down his temple. The woman sheepishly looked up, desperately trying to avoid Bela’s cool glare.

“Yes, they have,” she admitted, glancing over at the two detectives, “However, it is too early to say whether Joja’s mining directly contributed to the rockslide, seeing as that is a natural disa-”

“Bullshit!” Bela interrupted, her voice steadily raising in anger. “You KNOW that you killed my parents!”

“Settle down, Bela,” Mr. Jameson snapped, “This was just an unfortunate accident. You can take the week off to settle your affairs.”

“Take a week off?” Bela’s eyes widened in disbelief. “Is that all my parents’ lives were worth? That’s all I get? Not even an apology?”

“Ms. Rivers,” the woman quipped, “Joja Corporation is not liable for natural disasters. And as a Joja employee, you should remember that your contract states that you are not allowed to speak negatively about the company in any way.”

“I-Is that a threat?” Bela retorted, in shock at the audacity of this woman. “Are you threatening to sue me for telling the truth? That YOU killed my parents?!”

She shook her head angrily, not able to process the barrage of emotions hitting through her at that moment.

“You know what?” Bela spat, “I quit.” Bela turned on her heel, storming back to her cubicle.

Once there, she began grabbing all her personal items and shoved them into a cardboard box. When she finally got to the desk drawer that held her grandfather’s letter, she hesitated for a second before tearing the envelope open. Inside were two pieces of paper, the top one decorated with her late grandfather’s handwriting, saying:

Dear Bela,

If you are reading this, you must be in dire need of a change.

The same thing happened to my grandfather, long ago. He had lost sight of what mattered most in life; real connections with other people and nature. So, he decided to drop everything and move to the place where he felt like he truly belonged.

I’ve enclosed the deed to that place, my pride and joy: Riverland Farm. It’s located on the southern coast of Stardew Valley, between Ridgeside Village and Pelican Town. It’s the perfect place to start your new life.

This was my most precious gift of all, and now it is yours. I know that you will honor the family name, my child.

Good luck.

Love, Grandpa

P.S. If Lewis is still alive, say hi to the old guy for me, will ya?

Bela’s eyes welled up with tears as she glanced at the second paper, the deed of Riverland Farm. She rushed to gather the rest of her belongings and walked out of the corporate office for the last time.

Before Bela knew it, she was gazing out the window of the bus she was on, heading to her new home. The trees blurred together in a sea of green as Bela allowed herself to get lost in her thoughts.

Maybe, Bela sighed, this fresh start is just what I need.

The bus slowed down to a stop at a small crossroads. Once Bela exited the bus, she was approached by a cheerful redhead.

“Hello! You must be Bela,” she smiled warmly. “I’m Robin, the local carpenter. I don't know if you remember me, since it's been a few years since you've last visited, but I'm Sebastian and Maru's mom.”

Bela smiled back hesitantly, before memories of an awkward, spiky-haired emo wannabe flittered into her head. “Hi, Robin, it’s nice to see you again, though I was expecting Mr. Meyer.”

“Oh, Mayor Lewis sent me here to fetch you and show you the way to your new home. He’s tidying things up for your arrival.” Robin turned, and began walking down the dirt path, gesturing for Bela to follow. “The farm’s right over here, if you’ll follow me.”

Bela listened intently as Robin began to relay different stories of some of her most difficult jobs. After a few moments they approached the dilapidated Riverland Farm. Bela was astounded at how unkempt the land was, littered with overgrown patches of grass and rotting crops.

“Yeah,” Robin shyly rubbed the back of head, “this farm has definitely seen better days. However, there is still good soil underneath.”

Suddenly, the farmhouse door opened, and a kind older man stepped out with a head full of grey hair and a matching moustache.

“Ah, our newest farmer!” he chuckled lightly, “Welcome back, Bela! In case you've forgotten, I’m Lewis, the mayor of Pelican Town.”

His eyes twinkled mischievously, “You know, everyone’s been asking about you. It’s not every day that someone new moves in. And it's even rarer when someone comes back. It’s quite a big deal!”

Robin nodded in agreement. “With the increased taxes, more people have been leaving Pelican Town than staying.”

Mayor Lewis shot Robin a warning glance before continuing his welcome speech, “So, you’re moving into your grandfather’s old cottage.” He sighed deeply; eyes lost in thought as he remembered his old friend.

Bela offered him a gentle smile, “He mentioned that the two of you were old friends.”

Lewis returned the smile, “Yes, we were. Well, you've inherited a good house...very ‘rustic’.”

Robin chuckled, “Well, that’s one way to put it.”

“Oh, don’t be rude,” Lewis shook his head, “Don’t listen to her, Bela. Robin just wants you to hire her for upgrades.” Robin rolled her eyes playfully in response.

“Well,” Lewis directed his attention back to Bela. “You must be tired from your long journey. You should get some rest. Tomorrow, you ought to explore the Town Square and reintroduce yourself to some folks. The townspeople would appreciate that.”

With that, both Robin and Lewis took their leave of Riverland Farm.

Now, Bela thought, gazing at the acres of overgrown land. What the FUCK am I going to with all of this?

#stardew valley #stardew valley fanfic #stardew valley fic #sdv #sdv fanfic #sdv fic #ambiguoslyambitious thoughts #stardew lewis #stardew valley lewis #stardew robin #stardew valley robin #sdv lewis #sdv robin #mayor lewis #archive of our own #ao3 #ao3 story #ambiguoslyambitious fics

[gloves94]

Sunburn [Prince Zuko] 9

Warnings: None   Rating: PG-13   Pairings: Zuko/OC   Summary:  “You have everything you’ve ever wanted.” “No.” He said softly. “Not everything…”  His golden eyes looked at her with a melting intensity she had never witnessed before. “I guess not.” She responded with glassy eyes as tears welled up threatening to break the dam of her eyes.

My fanfiction: M A S T E R L I S T

Later that evening Tsai had returned to where the Avatar gang were spending their nights in. Katara had been tossing around in her sleeping bag complaining about not wanting to be in the healing class because she would've gathered be learning how to fight instead.

"All knowledge is power Katara,"Tsai uttered wisely as her grandfather would've said. She lightly played with her choker necklace at the memory of the man. "You never know, the healing techniques that you learn might actually come in handy in the future." She nodded.

"A difference?" Katara questioned popping her head on her palm with curiosity. "What do you mean?"

"Yeah," Aang suddenly commented. "I'm also very curious- how was it that you managed to get past all of those Fire Nation guards at the Pohuai stronghold? He asked.

Tsai lowered her head in an attempt to hide the smirk that slowly inched across her face. She tugged in her arms deeper into her sleeves mischievously.

"I'll keep my secrets," she said with a ghostly smile before turning away from them preparing to sleep. "I'll tell," she said. "But first I have a question," she turned to look at both Aang and Katara once again.

"Why does everybody here hate me?" She asked bluntly.

Aang and Katara exchanged a look of pure confusion.

"In the Water Tribe, I mean." She clarified.

"Tsai," Katara began to explain. "You're Fire Nation. You're their enemy. You're our enemy."

"But why?" She retorted leaning forward as she sat with her legs crossed. "The Fire Nation is and has always been the greatest nation!" She spoke with a sudden bold sense of nationalism. "We bringing our culture and goods to new lands because we want to share our greatness with the world. It would be selfish not to."

"WHAT?" Katara roared furious. Tsai flinched slightly at her explosive reaction. She was not expecting her to react in this way.

"That's what you think the Fire Nation is doing?" She snapped. "I knew we shouldn't have trusted you!" She exited her sleeping back and rose to her feet aggravated. Tsai did the same.

"The Fire Nation took everything away from me! My family, my mother!" She roared. Aang held her back. "Starting this war is just as great of a sacrifice for my nation! It's for the greater good."

"You killed my mother!" She screeched heaving.

Tsai dropped the argument at the accusation. Katara's eyes were wide. Her nostrils were swollen with hatred as her eyes zeroed on the aghast teen before her.

"Can't you see? The Fire Nation has done nothing for the world! Everywhere you go you spread war, hatred, fear, famine, death and pain! You tear families apart. Leave orphan children, widowed wives, wounded soldiers and for what? For greatness?" She spat.

"Katara!" Aang pleaded.

Tsai wasn't going to sit here and take this. She turned away with her jaw clenched and stormed out of the room.

"Tsai! Wait!" Aang called after her. "Where are you going?"

Katara huffed and exhaled a sharp breath before snuggling inside of her sleeping back once again. She punched her pillow angrily a handful of times.

"Tsai means well Katara," Aang said after a moment. "I know it. She's just-" He paused for a moment trying to find the proper words. "The daughter of a Fire Nation governor?"

Aang was quiet at Katara's silent response.

"She's Fire Nation Aang. She's evil. They are all the same. Don't forget."

Xxx

"Is your friend toying with me?" Sokka snapped as he walked back to where they were staying.

"What are you talking about?" Tsai asked confused not in the mood to be dealing with these types of situations.

"I don't understand her. I thought she liked me and now she's telling me to get lost. I don't get it!" He threw his hands up in the air confused. "That's odd," Tsai said. "She told me she really liked you earlier today."

"Is she playing games with me or something like that?"

Yue didn't seem like the type to play these games. And from what she had told Tsai earlier she seemed to genuinely like the Southern Water Tribe boy. She thought for a moment scratching her chin.

"I don't think so," She said not really wanting to engage in conversation in her foul mood after her fight with Katara.

"So what should I do?" He deadpanned.

Was he really asking her for advice?

"I don't know," she shrugged. "Just talk to her. Ask her how she really feels about you."

"Why do I have the feeling you think talking is the solution to everything," he sighed in defeat. "It's probably what my grandpa would've said," she smiled fondly at the memory of the man.

"That is- completely unhelpful," he grumbled and hid his face in his arm.

"Sometimes some things are lost in translation." She says wisely. He looked at her oddly, she suddenly get a sad look on her face. She looked at Sokka one last time before continuing on her trek to nowhere in particular.

Katara was wrong.

The Fire Nation was the greatest nation. The war was well intended. Together all united under one nation the world would thrive. All under the rule of fire.

She thought about her home, Yu Dao. It's history serving as testament of the Fire Nation's greatness. Under Fire Lord Azulon the Fire Nation had made a mecca of industry and commerce out of a nowhere town in the edges of the Earth Kingdom. The city had drowned and blossomed to be one of the most important in the world. That would've never happened without them. So if they were so great...

She looked at a couple who whispered and shied away from her scarring away.

A man walking spit at her feet.

Arnook did not welcome her like a hero would've been welcomed.

If they were so great- why were they so hated?

xxx

"Yue, I need to ask for a favor." Tsai asked the following morning. She hadn't slept in the same room as the Avatar and his friends. Instead she had found comfort outside the doors of the palace simply leaning against the snowy wall and barely sleeping through the cold night. She really hated the weather here.

"Anything," Yue smiled taking her hands in hers. Tsai didn't have time to ask about what had happened with Sokka. It's not like she cared either. She wasn't the nosy type. "I need you to get me an audience with your father."

Moments later Tsai had her audience.

She walked into the meeting room. One which like the entire tribe was made of snow falls which reached the skies. The ceiling was gone allowing for the clear weather and shinning sun to witness their meeting.

"Arnook," she bowed before him in respectful Fire Nation fashion which irked the leader to no end. "You're persistent," he barked.

"What do you want?" He asked impatiently.

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Tsai of Yu Dao. Yu Dao is-" he interrupted her. "I know what Yu Dao is!"

She paused for a moment. Knowing he would be difficult.

"I've come to you with a challenging question." She scrapped everything she had reserved. "Do you think.." She says slowly. "Do you think the Fire Nation and the Water Tribes will ever be able to work together as one?" She pondered.

"If you have come here to sheathe blood and bring darkness and war to my land I'm afraid that you've come to the wrong place," he threatened approaching her. The soldiers and other officials surrounding him raised their hands and weapons menacingly. A bead of sweat formed in her temple as she look at them. They were at least a dozen of them.

"Listen!" She snapped frustrated. "I did not choose where I was born. My mother is of Earth Kingdom descent, my father Fire Nation. Which makes me half of both. I cannot bend fire or earth-" once again he interrupted her.

"That only makes you a mutt." He said bitterly.

It was then that his eyes darted up in the sky. All of them did. She turned after a moment only to see what looked like black snow snowing above them. The girl had never seen snow before, let alone black one. It took her a moment to realize that it was ash raining above them. Which could only mean one thing.

"You have lead them to us!" Arnook pointed accusingly. "Arrest her!"

"No. I have no idea how they found us!" She denied the dangerous accusation.

Tsai tried running. She tried fighting but before she could move an inch was frozen still to the ground in ice.

xxx

The girl was thrown into jail. She didn't know how long she had been in there. It must've been more than a day. Unbeknown to her Yue pleaded with her father. Pleaded with all of her wish and power to let her out. She tried explaining it was a coincidence and that she believed in the Fire Nation girl's honesty, but Arnook would not see to it.

The cell was cold as ice which had her shivering in the corner alone hugging herself in an attempt to retain some of her body's warmth. In her time in jail she felt a terrible headache. One which she felt could've split her forehead in half. Looking out the window she noted that an ominous light as red as her hair crept in. Holding on to her temples in pain she looked out and saw that the full moon had been tinted a color of crimson red blood. She starred eyes wide when she suddenly heard a sudden crash nearby.

Shocked she took cover before a market stall was thrown at the wall making it collapse. Setting her free.

"Well.. That was lucky," she mused as she carefully snuck out of the gaping hole that had been made by the crash. Creeping on her toes she slid down a hill of snow to the streets of the Northern Water tribe with only one objective in her mind. Escaping. She didn't realize where she was falling to and fell into a freezing stream of water. The icy North Pole water felt like a thousand knives nipping at her body from all over.

She had to get out of here fast. As she ran the moon shifted color as the air became colder, the air darker as all color seemed to be drained from the world. She hadn't stopped to wonder just what thing could've thrown such a heavy cart at such a distance when a monstrous creature in the figure of a glowing fish rose from the depth of the waters. It attacked all Fire Nation as it stormed through the village.

She cursed as she avoided it. Noting it was mainly attacking the invading Fire Nation troops that had descended on the Water Tribe's village. If she got near it, it would probably lead to her demise.

Whatever that thing was- She saw fire balls being aimed and fired at the creature which advanced unaffected - whatever was going on - it was not good. There was no time to say goodbye to her friend Yue. To converse with the Avatar. She had to get out.

Tsai continued on her dash towards the docks when she slid around a corner and looking over her shoulder teeth chattering she turned and crashed into something hard. She reached for her head as she tripped over her feet and fell to the ground on her bottom. She looked up and saw a pair of angry eyes glaring daggers at her. Oh, she had crashed into somebody.

"You," the man growled dangerously.

It was that son of a bitch Zhao.

She staggered to her feet but wasn't fast enough. Zhao was fast and his meaty hand claws around her neck with a deathly grip. He had obviously taken the night of the Blue Spirit at the Pohuai Fortress a little too personally.

She coughed struggling to gasp for breath when a third party stumbled upon the scene. Zuko walked into what seemed like the worst surprise of his life. Zhao turned to look at him maliciously.

"One step and I'll make sure your pretty girlfriend has a scar to match yours." He threatened.

Zuko's jaw clenched, he gritted his back molars in anger and frustration. He saw Tsai struggling to breath coughing for breath as her face slowly turned blue. He had to do something. Anything.

"So- tell me, what was your plan? You went in and distracted me and the Blue Spirit did all the dirty work?" He chuckled as he squeezed his grip on the girl's neck. He was holding her up above her feet so that they saw eye to eye. He suddenly dropped her and she gasped and coughed for air the color returning to her face. He turned her and kept a firm grip around her as he slowly retreated out of the scene.

His terrible breath pricked at her skin as he kept his arm wrapped around her body holding her in place.

"It's going to be interesting to find out what could've happened between us that night-" He whispered that and other filth into her ear.

"You're sick!" She growled out at the older man as she struggled against his deathly grip still shivering as she was soaked to the bone.

Zuko was ready to fire. He aimed his hand twitching slightly. His heart was pounding in his rib cage. One wrong move and it was over. He only had one shot before things went South. Zhao continued advancing over a snow bridge. He was going to get away! The girl struggled, her breathing loud as it became harder and harder to breath with every step the admiral gave. It was then that her eyes met his and he saw something familiar in them.

He understood and lowered his hand. Her body was trembling from the cold. Zuko lowered his guard and it was then that he saw offensive. Two silver blades crept our from her long sleeves and in one swift fluid motion she punctured Zhao's arm and Zuko swore he saw the blade go through his hand. The man screamed in pain. She twisted her torso and managed to guide the burning flame in his other arm to the sky missing her by mere inches. She took a sharp breath and ducked with skilled training. She used all the strength in her legs to push away from him. Her body collapsing to the snowy ground. Zhao held his arm put again ready to attack. However lost his footing when she twisted kicking him off his feet smoothly. Without hesitation Zuko stepped in and blasted Zhao away in a fiery dance.

Wounded and miserable the man collapsed to the ground in the middle of the snow bridge.

Massively monstrous blue hands suddenly struck out from the water and clawed at the top surrounding the admiral in a deathly capture. Zuko and Tsai managed to roll away from the monster claws as to their horror witnessed the admiral being dragged away to a watery grave. Tsai glared with eyes narrowed. Zuko was the better person and stretched out his hand in aid. For a second it looked like Zhao was going to take it but the prideful man turned away.

And just like that he was gone. Color returned to the world and it seemed like a glance had returned to the world. Zuko stepped back and saw the red-head shivering a couple of feet away from him. Her teeth chattering. He looked at her and her at him and she couldn't believe how happy she was to see him. To see somebody from home, someone familiar.

"Zuko!" She spoke in a low voice through violent shakes. Now having her she got a good look at his face and noticed the many new scars and wounds that decorated his face. She was about to ask what had happened during her short absence.

"What-" She was left with the words in her mouth when he wrapped his arms around her hugging her in a tight embrace. He almost sighed. Relieved that she was okay. That they had found each other again.

She stood before him sharp hidden blades unsheathed, shocked, shivering, soaked to the coldest bone. It took her a moment of hesitation before hugging him back just as tightly.

"I'm so happy to see you," the words left her mouth before she could process them. She hadn't even realized that she had started to cry. She buried her face on his shoulder. He was warm. He was the piece of home she had been missing. Right now, he was comfort.

"You're freezing," he said taking her hands in his as she retracted her hidden blades. He said nothing. Simply held her icy hands in his and brought them close to his lips breathing a hot air into them slowly warming her back.

She didn't even know why she was crying at this point. She smiled at him endearingly and wiped a stray tear from her. Everything was just too much to handle right now. Way too overwhelming.

"Let's get out of here." He said to her.

She wiped her tears as they escaped the icy tundra.

xxx

They met up with Iroh and Tsai sprinted hard running into his arms hugging him tightly. He hugged her back almost like a missing child and she repeatedly apologized for leaving without saying goodbye. He simply cupped her face with a hand and told her she did the right thing.

"I feel like you're at the crossroads once again Tsai, " Iroh said wisely tucking in both of his hands inside of his sleeves. "I wonder what road you'll take." He said ominously.

She raised an eyebrow confused at his riddle and shook his head.

"Let's just go home," she sighed. "I want to go back to Yu Dao. I think I'm going to be sick." She shivered not wanting to linger in this icy Neverland for another minute.

"Very well." Iroh said understandably. The man insisted on leaving on a makeshift raft boar which the girl refused to get on endlessly. Having been lost at sea for so many dies and almost dying from starvation she refused to put herself through the whole thing again. So instead they stole a slightly larger boat. One from a Water Tribe fisherman.

"They owe me," she grumbled. "That's for throwing me in that cold pit." She said bitterly as she remembered her brief stay in the icy prison cell. She hadn't even done anything!

And so they sailed away. Iroh explained to Tsai everything that had happened. Zhao killing the moon spirit. Yue becoming the moon spirit. The attack. The Avatar becoming one with the same spirit and taking down the fire nation. It had been a loaded day. He reasoned that it was probably the best that she had spent the day in jail for her own safety.

"You're really sure about returning back home?" Iroh asked.

Tsai snapped back into the conversation feeling distraught by her friend Yue's demise into the spirit world. "Sure," She mumbled. "Why not? I don't want to keep on 'getting in the way.'" She glared at a certain scarred prince who looked like he had the worst headache of his life.

"I'm concerned as your status as a traitor to the Fire Nation," Iroh stroked his beard wisely. "But that's a problem for when we arrive back to the mainland," he smiled at her warmly.

"You shouldn't have done that!" Zuko suddenly snapped in a scolding tone. "That stunt at the Pohuai Fortress? What were you thinking!" He sounded almost worried. Tsai misses the slight smirk that is growing on Iroh's face as he looks at them from the side.

"Hey! I freed the Avatar for you! Do you should be thanking me!" She shot back. "If I hadn't done that you'd be sitting in your room right now sulking with your arms crossed over your chest angrily meditating like an idiot."

"I don't sulk!" The other shot back slightly embarrassed and reached for her arm

"Also- may I remind you that Admiral Zhao is disgusting company. Interacting with him was definitely not pleasant," she raised both of her eyebrows eyes holding a little horror in them at the awful memory. It was then that he realized that he was holding on to her lower arm. He raised it up and her sleeves rolled back which exposed her secret weapon. He scrutinized over it looking at the arm braces she wore with the hidden blade mechanism.

Zuko would've never admit it outlaid but this was way more simple than what he had expected. Mind reading, secret bending, being a blood thirsty vampire demon, and super natural powers all came to him in his theories of how Tsai had gotten in an out of the stronghold with such ease.

"I'm glad to see your grandfather's hidden blades are in good hands," Iroh commented with a knowing smile.

"You knew about this Uncle?"

Iroh simply smiled a mischievous glint on his amber eyes.

"My grandfather taught me how to fight," she admitted reaching to touch the sunstone necklace she wore. "But I refuse to unless it's necessary. You see it can be quite deadly."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Zuko asked.

"I guess I didn't want you to think I was... weird." She said looking away slightly embarrassed.

"I....think it's cool," he said sharing the same tone after a moment. "Really?" She turned to look at him beaming. This only caused his cheeks to redden even more.

Iroh chuckled.

Zuko sighed and threw his hands up in the air not wanting to further have this conversation. "I'm tired." He declared.

"Youre not going to chase the Avatar?" Iroh asked.

"No- I'm tired." he repeated as he collapsed on the ship.

"A man needs his rest. Besides, Tsai and I have some much needed catching up to do." Iroh winked in her direction and she winked back.

They certainly did.

xxxx

AN: Your lovely thoughts? Phew and that's the end of Book 1, now onto what's next. Chapter 8 and Chapter 9 were originally one really long chapter so I decided to split them into 2. Also I have the story written until chapter 26 but as I keep editing and rewriting for posting I have made so many changes and I am loving how the story is unfolding.

Much love - G

xxx

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CHAPTER MASTERLIST

#zuko #prince zuko #zukoxreader #Zuko x oc #Zuko x you #oc #avatar #avatar the last airbender #avatar fanfic #avatar x oc #avatar fanfiction #fanfiction #sokka #suki #katara #aang #toph #appa #iroh #korra

[multimetaverse]

Riverdale 4x05 Recap

If they’re making us suffer through another Archie vigilante story line then they might as well go all out and bring back the real estate deals plots 

Why was that woman walking in alone in an alley in the bad part of town?

It’s nice of the writers to remind us that Kevin is gay. So looks like they’re gonna sweep Kevin betraying Betty to the Farm last season under the rug. Kevin gave up a night of bathroom cruising so they’re all good now

I’d feel sorry for Hermione except she actually is guilty of a bunch of crimes including murder!

I hope we see Moose again

The casting notice for Grandpa Jones said he was in hiding in the woods outside Riverdale because of a conflict related to the Baxter Brothers Franchise and we now know that’s a detective novel series

Pops is okay with forgery but not perjury

Why is Veronica so shocked that her father is evil? He’s also guilty of a ton of charges!

I did laugh at Hiram’s snarky ‘’I’ll be rooting for her’’

I’m beginning to think that this prosecutor lady doesn’t know what she’s doing...

They’re really reminding us that Kevin is gay this ep. He already had an inappropriate connection with cam boy Chic when they though he was the real Charles, so guess he wants to try his luck with the real deal

Oooh man Riverdale back at it with the junk science. There are no such things as serial killer or ‘’warrior’ genes. All humans have an innate capacity for violence and there are myriad genetic and environmental factors that shape a persons behaviour. Psychopaths do have a distinctive brain structure (largely related to the functioning of the pre-frontal cortex) but again it is a result of many different genes and while all serial killers are psychopaths not all psychopaths are serial killers. Indeed, numerous studies have shown that environmental factors such as a traumatic childhood are necessary in order to turn a psychopath into a serial killer

Looks like KP Apa just had a recent dye job, Archie’s hair is very red tonight

Did that guy just leave his shop and march a teenager down to the rec centre just to talk to Archie?

so Grandpa Jones was probably one of the ghost writers?

I love that their hospital set is clearly just the school

Why would one kid getting arrested lead to the shutdown of the community centre?? 

Animal cruelty is a huge red flag for future serial killers

I didn’t remember FP killing Tall Boy

Lmao why did FP say it like he was so shocked that Hermione’s name was on the lease

Is anyone gonna investigate Manetta’s murder? 

If Hermione is being tried in Federal court than only the President could pardon her not the Governor

Betty killed her cat? That’s fucked up

I love how FP complains that they’ll make him wear a tie and blazer at Stonewall when he’s literally wearing a tie and Sheriff’s uniform

Looks like they’re sticking with Grandpa Jones being a violent drunk and they’re not gonna retcon it anymore

I do appreciate that they’re not glossing over the effects that abuse had on FP

Yeah the FBI loves holding meetings at the speakeasy run by a teen girl

I’d love to see that contract ‘’I Veronica Luna pledge not to blackmail you anymore’’

Murder is a fun game

Brett is such a dweeb

Hermione’s middle name is Apollonia like Michael Corleone’s first wife in Sicily, nice little mafia reference the writers slipped in there

Nice cost cutting measure having ‘Hal’’ not appear clearly

Is FP really comparing the kids at the centre with the Serpents who were an actual criminal gang??

Brett’s not mad, he’s laughing

Riverdale doing a decent job of paralleling Betty and Jughead’s struggles to avoid their families past

Hey Reggie is there, not a bad way to earn a pay cheque

Really kind of lame that Grandpa Jones is just out in a cabin in the woods, like at least abandon your family and move to Greendale or something

Most large law enforcement agencies screen out psychopaths through use of the PCL-R test so even if Charles had those genes, he’s not a psychopath and one can’t turn into a psychopath 

The lesson kids is that blackmail works

Hermosa Lodge... well it’s a twist

Lmao another mayoral run plot!

Great disguise Betty!

How does Dodger not know that’s Archie? 

Oh man these flash forwards are getting more ridiculous. Yeah yeah Jughead is really dead and Betty and Archie and Veronica really killed him

Oh nice Chic is back next week! And the Blossoms! And Hiram and Hermione are hooking up for some reason? Until next week folks

#Riverdale #Bughead #Jughead Jones #Betty Cooper #Charles Cooper #FP Jones #Kevin Keller #Archie Andrews #Veronica Lodge #Hiram Lodge #Hermione Lodge #Riverdale Recaps

[twittany]

Journal Entry from March 13, 2021

March 13, 2021 2:53 PM

I just got back from my morning run and I’m currently sitting by my pool while writing this. My new masks came in today!! Just in time before my run too. I was so excited to use them and show them off. I got a pack of disposable masks with some cute little flower designs. On my run, I was thinking about how it has exactly been one year since the day I got let out of school for the COVID-19 outbreak. It is currently March 13, 2021.

March 13, 2020 was the day everything changed. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was filled with joy and happiness when I heard the announcements over the speakers. I thought it was going to be such a nice two week break from school where I can do anything I want and hang out with all my friends. I was so naive. In the early months of 2020, I saw and heard the words corona virus and Wuhan, China being thrown all over the news and social media. I watched videos of hospitals being built in China and people crying over their family’s health. I didn’t think much of it. I thought I was safe and just carried on with my daily life of going to school and swim practice, and hanging out with my friends. In my head I thought carelessly that “People are smart. They’ll find a way to contain this in no time,” but that was far from the truth. It’s been a whole year and we are still being affected by this virus. It’s haunting us.

One year ago today, I remember going home and excitedly telling my parents that I have a two week break! My friends and I were making plans to go eat at all of our favorite spots during this “coronacation.” Before we were even able to do anything, the first case appeared in our county. I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t understand how it even happened. It felt like a fever dream. My parents didn’t want me going anywhere or meeting anyone. We had to stay in our houses for not only our safety, but the safety of others as well. My mom still had to go to work. At the time, I remember she had a whole routine after work where she disinfected everything before she came in the house. I thought she was being a bit extra and silly, but now I do the same routine every time I enter my house. Oh how the times have changed.

A couple days after, the first death happened in our state. This is when I knew things were getting serious and I started to worry even more. I read somewhere that older adults with any thoracic cancers such as mesothelioma or lung cancer had the highest risk for developing complications with the virus. My grandpa has lung cancer, so of course I started stressing out. We couldn’t go visit my grandparents, which broke my heart. We would just drive by in our car and leave cute little gifts and baked goods for them on their porch while they watched through the window. It was hard, it was heartbreaking, but we knew that this was the best thing to do in order to keep my grandparents safe. Now during this time, my paternal grandparents were on a 6 month vacation in Vietnam. Vietnam didn’t have many cases at the time, but they still booked the first flight home. I haven’t seen them since they came back because they live in Massachusetts, but it was nice to know that they were in the safety of their own home.

Governor Tom Wolf closed all non-essential businesses and schools indefinitely. My mom got laid off from her work and didn’t have a job. I am so grateful that we are fortunate enough to still be able to have money to get food and pay our bills at the time. People were panic buying. It was scary to walk down the empty aisles of the grocery store. It gave an unsettling feeling in my stomach. People were fighting over toilet paper. They were crying over the fact that they wouldn’t be able to provide for their families and feed their children. My heart broke for the people who weren’t as fortunate as I was, so my family and I donated whenever we could. Looking back on this, there really was no reason to panic buy and stock up. Some families had eight children to feed and they were struggling while families of four had a pantry and fridge full of extra food. You would go to the store and see people with five carts filled with food. Now, they have a limit on food supplies because we are running low.

As for school, it got cancelled for the rest of the year. I wasn’t that phased about switching to online school. I was fortunate enough to have a laptop provided by my school, so I was able to adapt to online learning pretty easily. It was only my sophomore year, so in my opinion I lucked out. I’m not saying I was blowing off my grades and not giving care in the world, but I’m glad that it wasn’t my junior or senior year. I couldn’t imagine the stress of being a junior or senior during that time. Juniors had the stress of SATs and AP exams. Seniors missed their big milestone in their life of being able to walk across the stage and graduate. They missed their last prom, their last sporting events, and they missed probably the best three months of their senior year. There was nothing anyone could do about it. The pandemic was on a rise and we couldn’t stop it.

I’m in my junior year right now. Schooling is a bit different than it was before. We do something called “blended learning.” The idea started in Texas, and now it just became a reality for everyone. We do both online school and physical school except it is on a block schedule. For example, I go into the school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I do school online. This schedule is the same for half the student body. For the other half of the students, their schedules are reversed. This prevents overcrowding in schools. The classrooms have changed the set up of desks. The desks are no longer organized in rows. Instead, they’re only about eight desks spread six feet apart across the classroom. The days we get to go into class are generally the days we get to ask our teachers questions about assignments they have posted. We also have to take all quizzes and tests in school to ensure there is no cheating. If you told me a year ago this was how school worked now, I wouldn’t have believed you, but the sad truth is, it’s reality for everyone now..

Life now is completely different than how it was a year ago. The corona virus had a big impact on our day to day life. They haven’t been able to find the vaccine for the virus yet, but there aren’t as many new cases popping up. Any job that was able to, moved to online. Restaurants are still only doing delivery and pick up orders. Major cities are not as crowded anymore and Disney isn’t even open yet.

We are still taking precautions up to this day. Everywhere we go, we have to make sure we stay at least six feet apart. We have to wear masks and gloves everywhere we go whether we’re going on a run, to the store, or even a family member’s house. If you are caught without a mask and gloves, you will get fined by the police. Even though we are allowed to go out and do whatever we want, it doesn’t feel the same. It feels like there’s an empty void that needs to be filled.

I’ve learned to appreciate the little things like the times I get to hang out with my friends and family. I’ve learned to not go on my phone and actually talked to them. Quarantine was a rough time. I didn’t realize how much I missed just being able to see my friends face to face everyday. I was bored out of my mind. That was actually the time I started to write in a journal because it helped keep me sane. I didn’t have my friends to talk to everyday, so I just spilled my thoughts and worries out on the paper. I found new hobbies during quarantine. I always loved baking and cooking, but during that time I was really able to improve my culinary skills. Especially with not being able to go to the store all the time and using items in the pantry, I was able to get really creative. Another thing I picked up in quarantine was running. I never really liked running just because I am a swimmer and the water is where I thrive, but I learned to actually love it. There is a dike near my house that is 3.25 miles long. Whenever I felt like it, I would go on the dike and run. In the beginning, I wasn’t able to even run a mile, but soon enough, I was able to run the whole 6.5 miles. I kind of just added that to my daily lifestyle and to be honest it feels amazing. My family and I would go on a walk after dinner just to cure our boredom. Every once in a while, we would just get in the car and drive. We never knew where we were going, but we were on the road for hours with the windows down and listening to music. We would come back home and have a movie or game night to end the day. Quarantine brought my family even closer than we were before. Even though it prevented me from doing a lot of stuff, there were still positive things that came out of it. Quarantine lasted until about the middle of September 2020. When it was lifted, no one knew how to act. My friends and I went to all of our favorite spots like we said we would before quarantine started and cried the first time we were able to hang out. We made new friends everywhere we went and never took anything for granted again.

Actually, in a couple hours, I’m going to my friend’s lake. It’s only going to be a couple of us and I’m so excited. The water is still cold since it is only March, but we’re setting up a campfire and having a projector project a movie onto his garage door. We’re watching Tangled, which is the best movie of all time, and making smores. I’m going to take a nice long bath now and get ready to have the best night of my life surrounded by the people I love.

See ya tomorrow!

Twittany

[whorchataaa]

Podcast: It’s See You Later, Not Goodbye

  All good things must come to an end. And today is one of those days. In this episode of The Not Crazy Podcast, we say a sad farewell to our amazing cohost, Jackie Zimmerman. Tune in, as Jackie and Gabe reminisce about the good old days, ponder the fate of podcasts, and discuss Jackie’s decision to leave. They also introduce you to Gabe’s new cohost, Lisa, who just happens to be his ex-wife. Yep! You heard that right! Will this divorced duo be an absolute train wreck (as most divorced cohosts would be) or an inspiration to all? You’ll have to stick around to find out.

Join us for a sweet farewell to Jackie and a warm welcome to Lisa. We also give instructions on how you can sign up to hear the upcoming podcast called Not Crazy 2.0.

(Transcript Available Below)

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW

About The Not Crazy Podcast Hosts

Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations, available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from Gabe Howard. To learn more, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.

        Jackie Zimmerman has been in the patient advocacy game for over a decade and has established herself as an authority on chronic illness, patient-centric healthcare, and patient community building. She lives with multiple sclerosis, ulcerative colitis, and depression.

You can find her online at JackieZimmerman.co, Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

    Computer Generated Transcript for “Jackie’s Finale” Episode

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Announcer: You’re listening to Not Crazy, a Psych Central podcast. And here are your hosts, Jackie Zimmerman and Gabe Howard.

Gabe: Welcome, Not Crazy fans. I would like to introduce my co-host, Jackie.

Jackie: And my co-host, Gabe.

Gabe: And we have some sad and, you know, Jackie, we have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?

Jackie: We have like a shit sandwich, right?

Gabe: Right. Well, except that no, no, we don’t have a shit sandwich. Well, I don’t even understand what that means.

Jackie: Isn’t it like two pieces of bread with like shit in the middle, so like two good things surrounded by shit?

Gabe: Is this a millennial thing?

Jackie: I know this was a derby thing anyway. We have good news and also some bad news.

Gabe: I asked you a simple question, do you want the good news or the bad news?

Jackie: Good news.

Gabe: The good news is the show is going to continue. You have to go over to PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy and re-subscribe as Not Crazy 2.0 is rising from the ashes of, and now we’re getting into the bad news.

Jackie: This is my last episode. Wah, wah.

Gabe: Jackie is leaving. I feel like all of my co-hosts leave me.

Jackie: Maybe it’s you.

Gabe: I mean, I am the only constant. Even the name has changed. I can’t even blame it on the name. I just I don’t know what’s happening.

Jackie: Super sad.

Gabe: Ok. Look, I recognize that everything is on a spectrum except for maybe spectrums. Are spectrums on a spectrum?

Jackie: I have no idea, this is, but this is not sad. Can we talk about what’s allegedly said?

Gabe: Oh, what is allegedly sad is America’s lack of knowledge about the basics of science, which has probably gotten us into this entire COVID-19 debacle.

Jackie: Yeah.

Gabe: But also Jackie is leaving us.

Jackie: Well, when you say it like that, it sounds sad.

Gabe: See, everything’s on a spectrum. I feel like we need to give context in a way that we generally don’t on the show. Right?

Jackie: Yes. Yes,

Gabe: Yes.

Jackie: I agree.

Gabe: Ok.

Jackie: Yeah.

Gabe: If you go back and you listen to the great episode that came out after Christmas where I said, hey, Jackie, how was your Christmas, going to let you in on a little secret. We recorded that in November. So Christmas hadn’t happened yet. So Jackie had to guess that she had a good Christmas. In fairness, I love I’m blaming you. You asked me how my Christmas was and

Jackie: Right.

Gabe: I had to guess as well.

Jackie: You, lied.

Gabe: Yeah.

Jackie: You didn’t know.

Gabe: Yeah. I mean, our predictions were very good. We said we had a good Christmas. And hey, lo and behold, we had a good Christmas. All the people who I said annoyed me. They did, in fact, annoy me. So this is going to air in like the middle of May, but it’s actually the middle of April. We’re still under quarantine. I’m in Ohio, which is shelter in place. Jackie is in Michigan, which is shelter in place. And everybody hates her governor. And there’s riots on the streets, except they’re wearing the masks. So it’s really like a cognitive distortion of the highest order where

Jackie: It’s just.

Gabe: The virus is both fake, but they still wear a mask to protect themselves from it. So it’s weird. That’s what’s happening as we’re recording this.

Jackie: Do you remember the movie Idiocracy? Right, everybody, right. Here’s the thing, though. This is worse than Idiocracy. We watched that movie and we were like, ha ha, that’s a stupid. People are so dumb. Whenever anybody does something dumb, we call it Idiocracy. But like, this is like if Idiocracy was like times ten is what these people are doing. Anyway, I digress.

Gabe: But we’re bringing this up because we can’t predict the future.

Jackie: Right.

Gabe: You know, normally we can. You know, how’s your summer going, Jackie? How were your holidays? And. You know, we touch on the basics because we know that there’s a four week lead time, but there’s a four week lead time. So, yeah, I don’t I’m going to pretend the quarantine is over and that neither Jackie or I have corona and that we’re safe and healthy and that I’m back to sitting in McDonald’s because I’m trying to have, for the first time in my bipolar life, an optimistic outlook.

Jackie: Solid.

Gabe: Jackie, where do you think we’ll be in a month?

Jackie: Well, my hope is that that my business is still doing really well because that’s one of the contributing factors here, too, is I am one of the fortunate people in this time who’s actually doing very, very well. I’m super busy and I hope that that continues. So a month from now, I hope I’m just, you know, rolling in the dough like a Quentin Tarantino movie minus the murdery parts, but just the money parts.

Gabe: The murdery parts, I think, are the coronavirus.

Jackie: Yeah, yeah. So I don’t want

Gabe: I mean.

Jackie: Those parts.

Gabe: It’s we don’t want those parts. Yeah.

Jackie: I just want the money parts and the busy parts and the like maybe. I don’t know. I don’t even want to say that I hope that we’re out of our houses in a month because I can’t confidently say that I think that that’s a good idea. So I just hope that I’m still in business making money. That’s what I’m going to say.

Gabe: The coronavirus impacted a lot of things in ways that we just can’t even imagine. Obviously our ability to travel around the country, book speaking engagements is, I use the word decimated, which I have been told is just a very extreme word for postponed. But I feel like it’s been decimated. I feel like the thing that you know what it is, Jackie, this isn’t just my job. It’s my purpose. I do make money off of it. It’s how I eat. It’s how I buy nice things. It’s how I go on vacation. But the reason that I do this is because it’s my thing. It’s my purpose. So, yeah, the money is gone for me, but the the purpose is gone. And yes, yes, I believe that it will come back, but it’s necessitated just just an incredible number of changes in just in the way things work. You know, podcast traffic, surprisingly and shockingly or maybe not surprisingly and not shockingly is down. It’s down a lot. The way that people consume podcasts is a somewhat unique.

Jackie: I find this whole point that you’re about to make to be incredibly interesting because you have proclaimed that you do not listen to podcasts, so you predicting podcast behavior is bizarre.

Gabe: I’m explaining poorly, Jackie. You are correct. I am looking at stats and I subscribe to a tracking service as most high end podcasts do that look at trends across the industry. And across the industry, podcast traffic is down because of the way people interact with podcasts. Podcasts are a very intimate medium, but even though they’re a very intimate medium. People still want to be driving to work. They still want to be going to the gym. They still want to be cleaning their house. Most people are not sitting perfectly still listening to the show and doing nothing else. They’re listening while they do something else.

Jackie: Yeah.

Gabe: That’s that. But people aren’t doing a lot of other things right now. Even the people who are stuck at home, they can’t listen to a podcast because their kids are underfoot or their spouses are underfoot or their roommates are underfoot. Or like me, they’ve just given up and decided to stop cleaning.

Jackie: Underfoot, Grandpa Gabe. Underfoot, really?

Gabe: What would you say? You correct that sentence in cool Aunt Jackie speak.

Jackie: Their kids are annoying, their spouses are annoying. They’re in the way. They’re the worst. That’s

Gabe: Oh, my. Oh, my.

Jackie: Ok, but I do listen to podcasts a lot. And when we were talking about kind of watching the numbers and seeing them kind of dip a bit, I realize I’m not listening to podcasts. I’m definitely. I don’t even commute to work anymore. But when I did, I listened to a lot of podcasts on my commute. I listen to a lot of podcasts when I drive to the doctor or wherever I’m going. And, you know, sometimes like here and there when I’m cooking, but I’m not doing any of that anymore. One, Adam is home all the time. So he cooks everything because I’m very lucky and I’m not driving anywhere. And even if I am right now, like, I don’t really want to listen to a podcast. You know, like it. This is what we talk about all the time now is what’s happening in the world. And I’m living it every day. So I don’t necessarily want to talk about it anymore than I already have to.

Gabe: And just like our podcast did a lot of shows on corona, on quarantine, on anxiety, on our feelings, on the mental health surrounding it. It’s hard to produce this content in a timely manner. As we said, it’s about four weeks from recording to airing. In a perfect world, you can get that number down. If you spend, you know, more time, more money. But like anything, once you start rushing things, well, you start rushing things.

Jackie: Mm hmm.

Gabe: It’s fascinating to me, Jackie, because so many people are like, wow, I don’t know why it’s so hard. You just record like a half an hour a week, right? Your podcast is a half an hour time commitment, right?

Jackie: LOL.

Gabe: Look. Yeah. Yeah. One, no, just going to hard stop that right there. No.

Jackie: For what it’s worth, we’ve officially been recording for 12 and a half minutes. But we have been on the call for over an hour.

Gabe: Right. And that’s the time we spend together. So usually there’s 45 minutes to an hour before we start recording. Then there’s the recording time. But before that, there’s the e-mails back and forth. What’s this week’s topic going to be? And then once we land on a topic which, you know, texts, e-mails, maybe a conversation, etc., then we both go our separate ways. And obviously, since we’re doing a farewell episode and talking about, hey, you know, I’m gonna miss you, Jackie.

Jackie: Oh, well that’s cute.

Gabe: Notice she didn’t say, I’m going to miss you, Gabe.

Jackie: I.

Gabe: I just. Why? Why? Why do my co-hosts hate me?

Jackie: False. Your co-hosts do not hate. I mean, I as the only co-host I can actively speak for, which is myself. I do not hate you at all. And I will miss recording this podcast. I do enjoy doing it. It’s a boatload of work. Like we just talked about. But I do like doing it. It’s something that’s fun to do. But it’s not. It’s not all the glamorous-ness that everybody thinks it is. You know, it’s there’s a lot of back end work that goes into making this thing come out for 30 minutes every week.

Gabe: And before coronavirus, that work was paying off. It was trending in that direction. The numbers were fantastic. The emails were fantastic. The bookings were fantastic. You know, we launched the Psych Central Podcast Live campaign like two weeks before the shit hit the fan.

Jackie: Of course we did.

Gabe: Did you guys remember that?

Jackie: Of course we did.

Gabe: Did anybody know that there was a, there’s a whole Web site and there was a public relations campaign and all of that time and energy is going to have to be duplicated, repeated, repackaged at some point in the future. And that point is probably a year from now. And I’m not trying to throw you under the bus, Jackie, but the Not Crazy 2.0, I’m still going to be on and you’re not, so Jackie jumped ship. She just she left. She’s like, oh, my God, I can’t put another year into the build up because she has another business. She has other things to do. And, you know, in this way, we everybody is focusing on COVID-19 in the worst possible light. And death is very, very scary. I’m not minimizing that in any way, but I don’t think people are talking about some of the secondary effects. You know, things like people losing the businesses that they’ve built up for a long, long time. Some people their entire lives. They’re not talking about people who miss their senior year of high school. And I understand that compared to death, this isn’t that big of a deal because, yeah, I would miss my senior year of high school to bring back any member of my family for five minutes. For five minutes. Yes. But this still does represent a loss. And this is one of those losses.

Jackie: Yeah, it is. And to your point of businesses going under. And, you know, let’s say really fun hobbies that are also kind of like a business kind of going under. That’s why right now, like, I can’t slow in my business, you know, like I can’t say that we’re gonna, we’re gonna work to rebuild this up because I have business. So I have to make sure that I’m like putting everything into it, because not everybody has that right now. And I want to make sure that I can hold on to that as long as I can, because small businesses are just dwindling every day and I don’t want to be one of them.

Gabe: You know what I’m most sad about? Adam never wrote us a rap song.

Jackie: Adam is a retired rapper, Gabe. He’s retired.

Gabe: Listen. I am 43 years old. And would you like the list of all of the musical people who have retired and went on a farewell tour that then came back again? I have been to KISS farewell tour like six times.

Jackie: Yeah. But they’re bad. And Adam is really good. So.

Gabe: See that, so he is primed. He had, remember when Michael Jordan retired? Michael Jordan came back. I’m just sayin.

Jackie: Yeah.

Gabe: I’m just sayin.

Jackie: Well.

Gabe: Do you want a podcast now and release the episode on time? [singing]

Jackie: Yeah. I mean, you could write it. Why don’t you write it? You could be a rapper.

Gabe: No. Don’t say that anybody can be a rapper.

Jackie: I didn’t.

Gabe: That’s like how everybody thinks that they can be a podcaster right now.

Jackie: I did not say anybody could be a rapper. I said, you already have a beat and a song. And so you could rewrite it. But, you know, this is digressing quite a bit.

Gabe: Because I’m all about that cast, about that cast. [singing]

Jackie: The cast?

Gabe: Yeah, because it’s like base. I don’t know what to put for treble? Like no static? I’m all about that cast, about that cast.

Jackie: Ok, maybe you can’t be a rapper because that was, oof, that was pretty bad. Anyway.

Gabe: Well, this is, this is getting. This is getting bad.

Jackie: So the point that you were.

Gabe: I’ve lost my co-host. The whole world is quarantined, maybe. Or maybe it’s over. I don’t know. I don’t know where we are going to be in the future.

Jackie: The point you’re trying.

Gabe: Maybe aliens have landed?

Jackie: The point you’re trying to make is that while I will be running my little tail off, trying to be a business person, the show will go on.

Gabe: We’ll be right back after these messages.

Announcer: Interested in learning about psychology and mental health from experts in the field? Give a listen to the Psych Central Podcast, hosted by Gabe Howard. Visit PsychCentral.com/Show or subscribe to The Psych Central Podcast on your favorite podcast player.

Announcer: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com. Secure, convenient, and affordable online counseling. Our counselors are licensed, accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face to face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counseling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.

Jackie: We are back for my last episode and discussing Not Crazy 2.0.

Gabe: The show is, what do kids call it? Rebooting? It’s rebooting as Not Crazy 2.0. The same title, same general theme. It is moving feeds. You have to go over to PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy and re subscribe on the new i-Tunes feed and the new Spotify feed. Well, just all the new feeds.

Jackie: All the feeds.

Gabe: It’s very, very important that if you think that you are going to hear Gabe and his new co-host on this feed, you’re not. So, please, please, please head over to PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy and click all the little buttons to sign up on whatever podcast player you have been subscribing to. But, Jackie, do you want to introduce the new. I mean, she’s not here,

Jackie: No.

Gabe: But she is well known to the show.

Jackie: I feel like the best way to introduce her is just to say this, sorry, Lisa. Sorry. Sorry, Lisa.

Gabe: Yeah, like so many wait, like we’ve been apologizing to Lisa since the beginning of the show and we thought it was for like all the edits and post-work that she was going to have to do. But it turns out that you’re apologizing for dumping her on a show with her ex-husband after you left.

Jackie: Well, OK, so for those who don’t know what we’re talking about, Lisa is our editor. She also just happens to be Gabe’s ex wife, who he somehow maintains a very solid friendship with. So when we screw up, which happens all the time, there are recordings of us saying, sorry, Lisa. I think she’s used them as outtakes. But Lisa is going to fill in this role. And I actually think this is going to be really great, because not only does Lisa have the perspective of living with mental illness, but she’s also been a really amazing care partner. Right? She’s watched you go through the depths of being bipolar. She’s super educated. She’s very involved in the mental illness community. Lisa has a very unique perspective and.

Gabe: And she’s mean. She’s super mean,

Jackie: Well, and she kind of.

Gabe: Like you’re trying to avoid it. She’s super mean.

Jackie: Eh, she love hates you a little bit, but like, I mean, she’s super mean. No, she’s not. I don’t think Lisa’s super mean.

Gabe: We’re codependent, we’re codependent as hell.

Jackie: Yes.

Gabe: Remember when you first met Lisa and you said, you know, Gabe, I think that you and Lisa might be a little bit codependent. And I said, you think? You think? You know, I thought you were smarter, Jackie. We are totally codependent. And the fact that you can’t figure that out really makes me think less of you. Do you remember that conversation? It was at Roosters when we were watching UFC.

Jackie: Oh, I actually totally don’t remember that conversation. But I mean, like.

Gabe: It was an awesome conversation. We laugh about it every day.

Jackie: I can confirm that you are definitely codependent, so look forward to episodes about that in the future.

Gabe: We are both happily remarried to other people and there’s

Jackie: Well.

Gabe: Nobody would bat an eye at the friendship that Lisa and I have  if she was male, if we were the same sex. So it’s interesting. I don’t think that our friendship could exist 40 years ago. So it’s cool.

Jackie: Well.

Gabe: It’s cool that in 2020 you can be friends with members of the opposite sex because it really did give way for us to find where we actually belong because we don’t belong as a married couple.

Jackie: Well, and I will say that when I first found out that Lisa, who I only knew as our editor, who I only knew through emailing at the time, was your ex-wife, I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I need the story on this. What? Come again one more time. And you told me what happened. And I was like, no, no, no. But like, you guys are still friends. OK. So your wife must hate her, right? And she doesn’t. Like well, her husband must totally hate you. And he doesn’t. So then I was like, OK, but like, that’s just what you say. And then I saw you guys all in person. And it’s true. There’s no, like, weirdness. There’s no like kind of like bitchy side eyes. Like you guys are all just buddies. And it is so bizarre, but also very cool.

Gabe: I think one of the perspectives that Lisa will bring, aside from her own perspective. I mean, I do not want to discount that Lisa is her own person, has her own perspective, and she can hold her own in an argument, discussion, debate with anybody in the world. It’s one of the cool and awful things about Lisa. So I don’t want to make Lisa all about Gabe. I want to be very, very clear that Lisa is her own person with her own thoughts and opinions. But Lisa has also known me for 20 years. And I know that Lisa, as my editor, she’s listened to hundreds of shows, podcasts, videos and things that I’ve made because she edits them all to make me sound just fantastic. And the number of emails that I get from her where she’s like, hey, Jackie asked you what your favorite color was and you said, purple, you know, that’s not true. You like red. And you told me that you like red. Do you remember that when red happened and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it’s interesting because she’s known me for so long that it’s fascinating how often she calls me out on my bullshit, not because she suspects it, but because she was there when it happened. And she remembers it from her perspective. And I remember it from my perspective. And I think it’s going to make for some very unique conversations. Jackie was not there when I went to the psychiatric hospital. So just imagine that conversation with instead of Jackie asking me how I felt if the person asking me the questions was there. I’m kind of excited for that because I can only see things through the eyes of somebody who is in crisis with bipolar disorder. Lisa sees that whole story through the eyes of the person who tricked me to get in a car and save my life.

Jackie: Well.

Gabe: That’s a very different perspective.

Jackie: And Lisa’s perspective and her experience is one that one no one who knows you has ever heard. Right? Like it’s not like you throw her up on a stage and you’re like, Lisa, tell me what that was like. And also, it’s not one we hear a lot in general, you know, we hear about care partners. A lot of times, though, it’s parents of children. We don’t often hear a lot about what happens when you have to go. OK. This is not going well. And you’re right. How do I trick him into getting care? I, for one, am fascinated and cannot wait to hear that.

Gabe: We are sincerely hoping that this provides a unique voice in this space. And you’re right. We see a lot of, you know, mom and dad, husband and wife, parent and child, extended family. You see like sibling teams. I can’t think of a single ex husband and ex wife mental health team, because usually when the divorce happens, when the breakup happens, the hurt feelings are so tremendous, there’s nothing to salvage. And there’s a ton of hurt feelings. Those are gonna be my favorite shows, all the hurt feelings. But usually those people can’t work together, so they end up telling the story away from each other. I would tell the story about my ex spouse who left me and she would tell the story about her mentally ill ex spouse who screwed it all up and we couldn’t interact. I’m just saying, generally speaking, people who break up don’t rehash their relationships publicly.

Jackie: No.

Gabe: And if they do rehash them publicly, not in a healthy way.

Jackie: No. No. And they definitely don’t do it like, you know, for less than a billion dollars on a reality TV show.

Gabe: So listen up, reality TV show hosts, for a billion dollars, I would do The Amazing Race. I mean.

Jackie: I mean, the reality is nobody’s getting paid a billion dollars on reality TV. They get like six hundred dollars an episode.

Gabe: Wait, what? They get $600 an episode? That’s a lot.

Jackie: I think they get like between six and whatever, it doesn’t matter. That’s off the point. The point is.

Gabe: Wow. That’s not, that’s not podcast money, that’s good money.

Jackie: Lisa’s gonna be the new co-host. She’s Gabe’s ex-wife. She knows a lot about mental illness. And I think that it’s gonna be a great show.

Gabe: Jackie, obviously I agree that Lisa and I are going to work well together, and it’s we’ve reached the point in our relationship where we can do it. We’ve obviously worked on the podcast with Lisa behind the scenes for a number of years. I think people would really be surprised at how long Lisa has been around. This is the first time she asked to be on the microphone. So I don’t know what changed in her life, but hey, she’s getting braver or she’s just got like a lot of trauma that she wants to air publicly. And I’m about to, I’m about to hit a firestorm of awful. But either way, I think it’s going to be fun. But listen, you need to go to PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy and re subscribe to all the new feeds. PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy. Jackie. I am going to miss the hell out of you. I only have one question left. It’s sort of become a tradition whenever one of my co-hosts leaves me to ask this question, which is why we put it all the way at the end. But before I ask, do you have anything to say? What do you want to say to the listeners?

Jackie: Honestly, it’s really hard to come up with something like poignant and awesome on the spot to say to people who are important to you and our listeners are important to me. So I don’t have like a very eloquent, like, here’s my parting wishes for all of you. Instead, I’ll say I’m still online everywhere, all the places, my Web site is JackieZimmerman.co. I have all the social things. You can find me everywhere if you ever need like a Web site or an email campaign. Like, I could totally do that for you, too. I don’t know. I think our listeners are great. We’ve gotten a lot of really great emails and feedback and well-wishes and and me too’s. And that’s been a really, really cool thing from being a part of this podcast.

Gabe: Obviously, you can go to Jackie’s Web site. JackieZimmerman.co to email her. You can also e-mail to [email protected] and we will forward it over. So I promise that any nice thing that you say to Jackie, she will get. Jackie, I have one more question.

Jackie: Hit me.

Gabe: What advice do you have for my new co-host?

Jackie: I think that it would be impossible and maybe downright irresponsible for me to try to give a person who’s known you for 20 years, who’s been married to you and has like supported you through your whole life, any advice about working with you. She knows everything. I got nothing that she doesn’t already know.

Gabe: She knows everything, that’s like super scary. Like I’m, as you said that, I was like, does she know everything? And then I thought, wow, she knows like my banking passwords.

Jackie: [Laughter]

Gabe: She’s the person that if I die, is going to come clear my browser history. I mean, she has a very important role.

Jackie: The only advice that I would give to Lisa is that when you’re recording, don’t hit your desk because Lisa gets really pissed off about that when she’s editing the podcast.

Gabe: What are what are the things that she, she hits us up every week. Don’t hit your desk. Don’t smack your mic. You’re getting better on verbal crutches or you’re getting worse on verbal crutches.

Jackie: Your sniffling is too much.

Gabe: Remember when we both had the cough? I thought she was going to quit that week. That was it. I think this is gonna be great. But remember, you’re not going to hear any of it if you don’t go to PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy and sign up for the new feed. Jackie, first off, will you come back? I mean, you’re going to come back as a guest from time to time, right? There’s gonna be something that you want to talk about and you will come and debate it with us because you’re not dying. You’re just, you’re just busy.

Jackie: But of course, yes.

Gabe: Excellent. What you have a standing invitation to be on Not Crazy 2.0 whenever you want to come back. So I hope you will be here. My final question, and I know I promised the other question was final, but I just, I just have to know. I’ve wondered really since we started working together. The blue hair. Is that your natural hair color? Or do you dye?

Jackie: Wow. Well, in case you can’t tell, we have been quarantined for well over a month now. And the roots are not blue, so no.

Gabe: Jackie, that’s awesome. All right, listen up, everybody. Here’s what I need you to do. I need you to go over to PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy. There’ll be a whole bunch of buttons there to sign up for the new feeds. Not Crazy. 2.0 is gonna be awesome. Lisa’s gonna be there. I’m going to be there. We’re gonna do really, really, really, really, really cool things. But of course, you won’t hear any of it if you don’t subscribe over on PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy. We’ll see everybody in the brave new world. I hope you all are doing OK.

Jackie: So long and farewell,

Gabe: I like that.

Jackie: I’m so good at this now.

Gabe: Aww, that sucks, just when we got it.

Announcer: You’ve been listening to Not Crazy from Psych Central. For free mental health resources and online support groups, visit PsychCentral.com. Not Crazy’s official website is PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy. To work with Gabe, go to gabehoward.com. To work with Jackie, go to JackieZimmerman.co. Not Crazy travels well. Have Gabe and Jackie record an episode live at your next event. E-mail [email protected] for details. 

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Podcast: It’s See You Later, Not Goodbye

  All good things must come to an end. And today is one of those days. In this episode of The Not Crazy Podcast, we say a sad farewell to our amazing cohost, Jackie Zimmerman. Tune in, as Jackie and Gabe reminisce about the good old days, ponder the fate of podcasts, and discuss Jackie’s decision to leave. They also introduce you to Gabe’s new cohost, Lisa, who just happens to be his ex-wife. Yep! You heard that right! Will this divorced duo be an absolute train wreck (as most divorced cohosts would be) or an inspiration to all? You’ll have to stick around to find out.

Join us for a sweet farewell to Jackie and a warm welcome to Lisa. We also give instructions on how you can sign up to hear the upcoming podcast called Not Crazy 2.0.

(Transcript Available Below)

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW

About The Not Crazy Podcast Hosts

Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations, available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from Gabe Howard. To learn more, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.

        Jackie Zimmerman has been in the patient advocacy game for over a decade and has established herself as an authority on chronic illness, patient-centric healthcare, and patient community building. She lives with multiple sclerosis, ulcerative colitis, and depression.

You can find her online at JackieZimmerman.co, Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

    Computer Generated Transcript for “Jackie’s Finale” Episode

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Announcer: You’re listening to Not Crazy, a Psych Central podcast. And here are your hosts, Jackie Zimmerman and Gabe Howard.

Gabe: Welcome, Not Crazy fans. I would like to introduce my co-host, Jackie.

Jackie: And my co-host, Gabe.

Gabe: And we have some sad and, you know, Jackie, we have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?

Jackie: We have like a shit sandwich, right?

Gabe: Right. Well, except that no, no, we don’t have a shit sandwich. Well, I don’t even understand what that means.

Jackie: Isn’t it like two pieces of bread with like shit in the middle, so like two good things surrounded by shit?

Gabe: Is this a millennial thing?

Jackie: I know this was a derby thing anyway. We have good news and also some bad news.

Gabe: I asked you a simple question, do you want the good news or the bad news?

Jackie: Good news.

Gabe: The good news is the show is going to continue. You have to go over to PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy and re-subscribe as Not Crazy 2.0 is rising from the ashes of, and now we’re getting into the bad news.

Jackie: This is my last episode. Wah, wah.

Gabe: Jackie is leaving. I feel like all of my co-hosts leave me.

Jackie: Maybe it’s you.

Gabe: I mean, I am the only constant. Even the name has changed. I can’t even blame it on the name. I just I don’t know what’s happening.

Jackie: Super sad.

Gabe: Ok. Look, I recognize that everything is on a spectrum except for maybe spectrums. Are spectrums on a spectrum?

Jackie: I have no idea, this is, but this is not sad. Can we talk about what’s allegedly said?

Gabe: Oh, what is allegedly sad is America’s lack of knowledge about the basics of science, which has probably gotten us into this entire COVID-19 debacle.

Jackie: Yeah.

Gabe: But also Jackie is leaving us.

Jackie: Well, when you say it like that, it sounds sad.

Gabe: See, everything’s on a spectrum. I feel like we need to give context in a way that we generally don’t on the show. Right?

Jackie: Yes. Yes,

Gabe: Yes.

Jackie: I agree.

Gabe: Ok.

Jackie: Yeah.

Gabe: If you go back and you listen to the great episode that came out after Christmas where I said, hey, Jackie, how was your Christmas, going to let you in on a little secret. We recorded that in November. So Christmas hadn’t happened yet. So Jackie had to guess that she had a good Christmas. In fairness, I love I’m blaming you. You asked me how my Christmas was and

Jackie: Right.

Gabe: I had to guess as well.

Jackie: You, lied.

Gabe: Yeah.

Jackie: You didn’t know.

Gabe: Yeah. I mean, our predictions were very good. We said we had a good Christmas. And hey, lo and behold, we had a good Christmas. All the people who I said annoyed me. They did, in fact, annoy me. So this is going to air in like the middle of May, but it’s actually the middle of April. We’re still under quarantine. I’m in Ohio, which is shelter in place. Jackie is in Michigan, which is shelter in place. And everybody hates her governor. And there’s riots on the streets, except they’re wearing the masks. So it’s really like a cognitive distortion of the highest order where

Jackie: It’s just.

Gabe: The virus is both fake, but they still wear a mask to protect themselves from it. So it’s weird. That’s what’s happening as we’re recording this.

Jackie: Do you remember the movie Idiocracy? Right, everybody, right. Here’s the thing, though. This is worse than Idiocracy. We watched that movie and we were like, ha ha, that’s a stupid. People are so dumb. Whenever anybody does something dumb, we call it Idiocracy. But like, this is like if Idiocracy was like times ten is what these people are doing. Anyway, I digress.

Gabe: But we’re bringing this up because we can’t predict the future.

Jackie: Right.

Gabe: You know, normally we can. You know, how’s your summer going, Jackie? How were your holidays? And. You know, we touch on the basics because we know that there’s a four week lead time, but there’s a four week lead time. So, yeah, I don’t I’m going to pretend the quarantine is over and that neither Jackie or I have corona and that we’re safe and healthy and that I’m back to sitting in McDonald’s because I’m trying to have, for the first time in my bipolar life, an optimistic outlook.

Jackie: Solid.

Gabe: Jackie, where do you think we’ll be in a month?

Jackie: Well, my hope is that that my business is still doing really well because that’s one of the contributing factors here, too, is I am one of the fortunate people in this time who’s actually doing very, very well. I’m super busy and I hope that that continues. So a month from now, I hope I’m just, you know, rolling in the dough like a Quentin Tarantino movie minus the murdery parts, but just the money parts.

Gabe: The murdery parts, I think, are the coronavirus.

Jackie: Yeah, yeah. So I don’t want

Gabe: I mean.

Jackie: Those parts.

Gabe: It’s we don’t want those parts. Yeah.

Jackie: I just want the money parts and the busy parts and the like maybe. I don’t know. I don’t even want to say that I hope that we’re out of our houses in a month because I can’t confidently say that I think that that’s a good idea. So I just hope that I’m still in business making money. That’s what I’m going to say.

Gabe: The coronavirus impacted a lot of things in ways that we just can’t even imagine. Obviously our ability to travel around the country, book speaking engagements is, I use the word decimated, which I have been told is just a very extreme word for postponed. But I feel like it’s been decimated. I feel like the thing that you know what it is, Jackie, this isn’t just my job. It’s my purpose. I do make money off of it. It’s how I eat. It’s how I buy nice things. It’s how I go on vacation. But the reason that I do this is because it’s my thing. It’s my purpose. So, yeah, the money is gone for me, but the the purpose is gone. And yes, yes, I believe that it will come back, but it’s necessitated just just an incredible number of changes in just in the way things work. You know, podcast traffic, surprisingly and shockingly or maybe not surprisingly and not shockingly is down. It’s down a lot. The way that people consume podcasts is a somewhat unique.

Jackie: I find this whole point that you’re about to make to be incredibly interesting because you have proclaimed that you do not listen to podcasts, so you predicting podcast behavior is bizarre.

Gabe: I’m explaining poorly, Jackie. You are correct. I am looking at stats and I subscribe to a tracking service as most high end podcasts do that look at trends across the industry. And across the industry, podcast traffic is down because of the way people interact with podcasts. Podcasts are a very intimate medium, but even though they’re a very intimate medium. People still want to be driving to work. They still want to be going to the gym. They still want to be cleaning their house. Most people are not sitting perfectly still listening to the show and doing nothing else. They’re listening while they do something else.

Jackie: Yeah.

Gabe: That’s that. But people aren’t doing a lot of other things right now. Even the people who are stuck at home, they can’t listen to a podcast because their kids are underfoot or their spouses are underfoot or their roommates are underfoot. Or like me, they’ve just given up and decided to stop cleaning.

Jackie: Underfoot, Grandpa Gabe. Underfoot, really?

Gabe: What would you say? You correct that sentence in cool Aunt Jackie speak.

Jackie: Their kids are annoying, their spouses are annoying. They’re in the way. They’re the worst. That’s

Gabe: Oh, my. Oh, my.

Jackie: Ok, but I do listen to podcasts a lot. And when we were talking about kind of watching the numbers and seeing them kind of dip a bit, I realize I’m not listening to podcasts. I’m definitely. I don’t even commute to work anymore. But when I did, I listened to a lot of podcasts on my commute. I listen to a lot of podcasts when I drive to the doctor or wherever I’m going. And, you know, sometimes like here and there when I’m cooking, but I’m not doing any of that anymore. One, Adam is home all the time. So he cooks everything because I’m very lucky and I’m not driving anywhere. And even if I am right now, like, I don’t really want to listen to a podcast. You know, like it. This is what we talk about all the time now is what’s happening in the world. And I’m living it every day. So I don’t necessarily want to talk about it anymore than I already have to.

Gabe: And just like our podcast did a lot of shows on corona, on quarantine, on anxiety, on our feelings, on the mental health surrounding it. It’s hard to produce this content in a timely manner. As we said, it’s about four weeks from recording to airing. In a perfect world, you can get that number down. If you spend, you know, more time, more money. But like anything, once you start rushing things, well, you start rushing things.

Jackie: Mm hmm.

Gabe: It’s fascinating to me, Jackie, because so many people are like, wow, I don’t know why it’s so hard. You just record like a half an hour a week, right? Your podcast is a half an hour time commitment, right?

Jackie: LOL.

Gabe: Look. Yeah. Yeah. One, no, just going to hard stop that right there. No.

Jackie: For what it’s worth, we’ve officially been recording for 12 and a half minutes. But we have been on the call for over an hour.

Gabe: Right. And that’s the time we spend together. So usually there’s 45 minutes to an hour before we start recording. Then there’s the recording time. But before that, there’s the e-mails back and forth. What’s this week’s topic going to be? And then once we land on a topic which, you know, texts, e-mails, maybe a conversation, etc., then we both go our separate ways. And obviously, since we’re doing a farewell episode and talking about, hey, you know, I’m gonna miss you, Jackie.

Jackie: Oh, well that’s cute.

Gabe: Notice she didn’t say, I’m going to miss you, Gabe.

Jackie: I.

Gabe: I just. Why? Why? Why do my co-hosts hate me?

Jackie: False. Your co-hosts do not hate. I mean, I as the only co-host I can actively speak for, which is myself. I do not hate you at all. And I will miss recording this podcast. I do enjoy doing it. It’s a boatload of work. Like we just talked about. But I do like doing it. It’s something that’s fun to do. But it’s not. It’s not all the glamorous-ness that everybody thinks it is. You know, it’s there’s a lot of back end work that goes into making this thing come out for 30 minutes every week.

Gabe: And before coronavirus, that work was paying off. It was trending in that direction. The numbers were fantastic. The emails were fantastic. The bookings were fantastic. You know, we launched the Psych Central Podcast Live campaign like two weeks before the shit hit the fan.

Jackie: Of course we did.

Gabe: Did you guys remember that?

Jackie: Of course we did.

Gabe: Did anybody know that there was a, there’s a whole Web site and there was a public relations campaign and all of that time and energy is going to have to be duplicated, repeated, repackaged at some point in the future. And that point is probably a year from now. And I’m not trying to throw you under the bus, Jackie, but the Not Crazy 2.0, I’m still going to be on and you’re not, so Jackie jumped ship. She just she left. She’s like, oh, my God, I can’t put another year into the build up because she has another business. She has other things to do. And, you know, in this way, we everybody is focusing on COVID-19 in the worst possible light. And death is very, very scary. I’m not minimizing that in any way, but I don’t think people are talking about some of the secondary effects. You know, things like people losing the businesses that they’ve built up for a long, long time. Some people their entire lives. They’re not talking about people who miss their senior year of high school. And I understand that compared to death, this isn’t that big of a deal because, yeah, I would miss my senior year of high school to bring back any member of my family for five minutes. For five minutes. Yes. But this still does represent a loss. And this is one of those losses.

Jackie: Yeah, it is. And to your point of businesses going under. And, you know, let’s say really fun hobbies that are also kind of like a business kind of going under. That’s why right now, like, I can’t slow in my business, you know, like I can’t say that we’re gonna, we’re gonna work to rebuild this up because I have business. So I have to make sure that I’m like putting everything into it, because not everybody has that right now. And I want to make sure that I can hold on to that as long as I can, because small businesses are just dwindling every day and I don’t want to be one of them.

Gabe: You know what I’m most sad about? Adam never wrote us a rap song.

Jackie: Adam is a retired rapper, Gabe. He’s retired.

Gabe: Listen. I am 43 years old. And would you like the list of all of the musical people who have retired and went on a farewell tour that then came back again? I have been to KISS farewell tour like six times.

Jackie: Yeah. But they’re bad. And Adam is really good. So.

Gabe: See that, so he is primed. He had, remember when Michael Jordan retired? Michael Jordan came back. I’m just sayin.

Jackie: Yeah.

Gabe: I’m just sayin.

Jackie: Well.

Gabe: Do you want a podcast now and release the episode on time? [singing]

Jackie: Yeah. I mean, you could write it. Why don’t you write it? You could be a rapper.

Gabe: No. Don’t say that anybody can be a rapper.

Jackie: I didn’t.

Gabe: That’s like how everybody thinks that they can be a podcaster right now.

Jackie: I did not say anybody could be a rapper. I said, you already have a beat and a song. And so you could rewrite it. But, you know, this is digressing quite a bit.

Gabe: Because I’m all about that cast, about that cast. [singing]

Jackie: The cast?

Gabe: Yeah, because it’s like base. I don’t know what to put for treble? Like no static? I’m all about that cast, about that cast.

Jackie: Ok, maybe you can’t be a rapper because that was, oof, that was pretty bad. Anyway.

Gabe: Well, this is, this is getting. This is getting bad.

Jackie: So the point that you were.

Gabe: I’ve lost my co-host. The whole world is quarantined, maybe. Or maybe it’s over. I don’t know. I don’t know where we are going to be in the future.

Jackie: The point you’re trying.

Gabe: Maybe aliens have landed?

Jackie: The point you’re trying to make is that while I will be running my little tail off, trying to be a business person, the show will go on.

Gabe: We’ll be right back after these messages.

Announcer: Interested in learning about psychology and mental health from experts in the field? Give a listen to the Psych Central Podcast, hosted by Gabe Howard. Visit PsychCentral.com/Show or subscribe to The Psych Central Podcast on your favorite podcast player.

Announcer: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.com. Secure, convenient, and affordable online counseling. Our counselors are licensed, accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face to face session. Go to BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counseling is right for you. BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral.

Jackie: We are back for my last episode and discussing Not Crazy 2.0.

Gabe: The show is, what do kids call it? Rebooting? It’s rebooting as Not Crazy 2.0. The same title, same general theme. It is moving feeds. You have to go over to PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy and re subscribe on the new i-Tunes feed and the new Spotify feed. Well, just all the new feeds.

Jackie: All the feeds.

Gabe: It’s very, very important that if you think that you are going to hear Gabe and his new co-host on this feed, you’re not. So, please, please, please head over to PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy and click all the little buttons to sign up on whatever podcast player you have been subscribing to. But, Jackie, do you want to introduce the new. I mean, she’s not here,

Jackie: No.

Gabe: But she is well known to the show.

Jackie: I feel like the best way to introduce her is just to say this, sorry, Lisa. Sorry. Sorry, Lisa.

Gabe: Yeah, like so many wait, like we’ve been apologizing to Lisa since the beginning of the show and we thought it was for like all the edits and post-work that she was going to have to do. But it turns out that you’re apologizing for dumping her on a show with her ex-husband after you left.

Jackie: Well, OK, so for those who don’t know what we’re talking about, Lisa is our editor. She also just happens to be Gabe’s ex wife, who he somehow maintains a very solid friendship with. So when we screw up, which happens all the time, there are recordings of us saying, sorry, Lisa. I think she’s used them as outtakes. But Lisa is going to fill in this role. And I actually think this is going to be really great, because not only does Lisa have the perspective of living with mental illness, but she’s also been a really amazing care partner. Right? She’s watched you go through the depths of being bipolar. She’s super educated. She’s very involved in the mental illness community. Lisa has a very unique perspective and.

Gabe: And she’s mean. She’s super mean,

Jackie: Well, and she kind of.

Gabe: Like you’re trying to avoid it. She’s super mean.

Jackie: Eh, she love hates you a little bit, but like, I mean, she’s super mean. No, she’s not. I don’t think Lisa’s super mean.

Gabe: We’re codependent, we’re codependent as hell.

Jackie: Yes.

Gabe: Remember when you first met Lisa and you said, you know, Gabe, I think that you and Lisa might be a little bit codependent. And I said, you think? You think? You know, I thought you were smarter, Jackie. We are totally codependent. And the fact that you can’t figure that out really makes me think less of you. Do you remember that conversation? It was at Roosters when we were watching UFC.

Jackie: Oh, I actually totally don’t remember that conversation. But I mean, like.

Gabe: It was an awesome conversation. We laugh about it every day.

Jackie: I can confirm that you are definitely codependent, so look forward to episodes about that in the future.

Gabe: We are both happily remarried to other people and there’s

Jackie: Well.

Gabe: Nobody would bat an eye at the friendship that Lisa and I have  if she was male, if we were the same sex. So it’s interesting. I don’t think that our friendship could exist 40 years ago. So it’s cool.

Jackie: Well.

Gabe: It’s cool that in 2020 you can be friends with members of the opposite sex because it really did give way for us to find where we actually belong because we don’t belong as a married couple.

Jackie: Well, and I will say that when I first found out that Lisa, who I only knew as our editor, who I only knew through emailing at the time, was your ex-wife, I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I need the story on this. What? Come again one more time. And you told me what happened. And I was like, no, no, no. But like, you guys are still friends. OK. So your wife must hate her, right? And she doesn’t. Like well, her husband must totally hate you. And he doesn’t. So then I was like, OK, but like, that’s just what you say. And then I saw you guys all in person. And it’s true. There’s no, like, weirdness. There’s no like kind of like bitchy side eyes. Like you guys are all just buddies. And it is so bizarre, but also very cool.

Gabe: I think one of the perspectives that Lisa will bring, aside from her own perspective. I mean, I do not want to discount that Lisa is her own person, has her own perspective, and she can hold her own in an argument, discussion, debate with anybody in the world. It’s one of the cool and awful things about Lisa. So I don’t want to make Lisa all about Gabe. I want to be very, very clear that Lisa is her own person with her own thoughts and opinions. But Lisa has also known me for 20 years. And I know that Lisa, as my editor, she’s listened to hundreds of shows, podcasts, videos and things that I’ve made because she edits them all to make me sound just fantastic. And the number of emails that I get from her where she’s like, hey, Jackie asked you what your favorite color was and you said, purple, you know, that’s not true. You like red. And you told me that you like red. Do you remember that when red happened and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it’s interesting because she’s known me for so long that it’s fascinating how often she calls me out on my bullshit, not because she suspects it, but because she was there when it happened. And she remembers it from her perspective. And I remember it from my perspective. And I think it’s going to make for some very unique conversations. Jackie was not there when I went to the psychiatric hospital. So just imagine that conversation with instead of Jackie asking me how I felt if the person asking me the questions was there. I’m kind of excited for that because I can only see things through the eyes of somebody who is in crisis with bipolar disorder. Lisa sees that whole story through the eyes of the person who tricked me to get in a car and save my life.

Jackie: Well.

Gabe: That’s a very different perspective.

Jackie: And Lisa’s perspective and her experience is one that one no one who knows you has ever heard. Right? Like it’s not like you throw her up on a stage and you’re like, Lisa, tell me what that was like. And also, it’s not one we hear a lot in general, you know, we hear about care partners. A lot of times, though, it’s parents of children. We don’t often hear a lot about what happens when you have to go. OK. This is not going well. And you’re right. How do I trick him into getting care? I, for one, am fascinated and cannot wait to hear that.

Gabe: We are sincerely hoping that this provides a unique voice in this space. And you’re right. We see a lot of, you know, mom and dad, husband and wife, parent and child, extended family. You see like sibling teams. I can’t think of a single ex husband and ex wife mental health team, because usually when the divorce happens, when the breakup happens, the hurt feelings are so tremendous, there’s nothing to salvage. And there’s a ton of hurt feelings. Those are gonna be my favorite shows, all the hurt feelings. But usually those people can’t work together, so they end up telling the story away from each other. I would tell the story about my ex spouse who left me and she would tell the story about her mentally ill ex spouse who screwed it all up and we couldn’t interact. I’m just saying, generally speaking, people who break up don’t rehash their relationships publicly.

Jackie: No.

Gabe: And if they do rehash them publicly, not in a healthy way.

Jackie: No. No. And they definitely don’t do it like, you know, for less than a billion dollars on a reality TV show.

Gabe: So listen up, reality TV show hosts, for a billion dollars, I would do The Amazing Race. I mean.

Jackie: I mean, the reality is nobody’s getting paid a billion dollars on reality TV. They get like six hundred dollars an episode.

Gabe: Wait, what? They get $600 an episode? That’s a lot.

Jackie: I think they get like between six and whatever, it doesn’t matter. That’s off the point. The point is.

Gabe: Wow. That’s not, that’s not podcast money, that’s good money.

Jackie: Lisa’s gonna be the new co-host. She’s Gabe’s ex-wife. She knows a lot about mental illness. And I think that it’s gonna be a great show.

Gabe: Jackie, obviously I agree that Lisa and I are going to work well together, and it’s we’ve reached the point in our relationship where we can do it. We’ve obviously worked on the podcast with Lisa behind the scenes for a number of years. I think people would really be surprised at how long Lisa has been around. This is the first time she asked to be on the microphone. So I don’t know what changed in her life, but hey, she’s getting braver or she’s just got like a lot of trauma that she wants to air publicly. And I’m about to, I’m about to hit a firestorm of awful. But either way, I think it’s going to be fun. But listen, you need to go to PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy and re subscribe to all the new feeds. PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy. Jackie. I am going to miss the hell out of you. I only have one question left. It’s sort of become a tradition whenever one of my co-hosts leaves me to ask this question, which is why we put it all the way at the end. But before I ask, do you have anything to say? What do you want to say to the listeners?

Jackie: Honestly, it’s really hard to come up with something like poignant and awesome on the spot to say to people who are important to you and our listeners are important to me. So I don’t have like a very eloquent, like, here’s my parting wishes for all of you. Instead, I’ll say I’m still online everywhere, all the places, my Web site is JackieZimmerman.co. I have all the social things. You can find me everywhere if you ever need like a Web site or an email campaign. Like, I could totally do that for you, too. I don’t know. I think our listeners are great. We’ve gotten a lot of really great emails and feedback and well-wishes and and me too’s. And that’s been a really, really cool thing from being a part of this podcast.

Gabe: Obviously, you can go to Jackie’s Web site. JackieZimmerman.co to email her. You can also e-mail to [email protected] and we will forward it over. So I promise that any nice thing that you say to Jackie, she will get. Jackie, I have one more question.

Jackie: Hit me.

Gabe: What advice do you have for my new co-host?

Jackie: I think that it would be impossible and maybe downright irresponsible for me to try to give a person who’s known you for 20 years, who’s been married to you and has like supported you through your whole life, any advice about working with you. She knows everything. I got nothing that she doesn’t already know.

Gabe: She knows everything, that’s like super scary. Like I’m, as you said that, I was like, does she know everything? And then I thought, wow, she knows like my banking passwords.

Jackie: [Laughter]

Gabe: She’s the person that if I die, is going to come clear my browser history. I mean, she has a very important role.

Jackie: The only advice that I would give to Lisa is that when you’re recording, don’t hit your desk because Lisa gets really pissed off about that when she’s editing the podcast.

Gabe: What are what are the things that she, she hits us up every week. Don’t hit your desk. Don’t smack your mic. You’re getting better on verbal crutches or you’re getting worse on verbal crutches.

Jackie: Your sniffling is too much.

Gabe: Remember when we both had the cough? I thought she was going to quit that week. That was it. I think this is gonna be great. But remember, you’re not going to hear any of it if you don’t go to PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy and sign up for the new feed. Jackie, first off, will you come back? I mean, you’re going to come back as a guest from time to time, right? There’s gonna be something that you want to talk about and you will come and debate it with us because you’re not dying. You’re just, you’re just busy.

Jackie: But of course, yes.

Gabe: Excellent. What you have a standing invitation to be on Not Crazy 2.0 whenever you want to come back. So I hope you will be here. My final question, and I know I promised the other question was final, but I just, I just have to know. I’ve wondered really since we started working together. The blue hair. Is that your natural hair color? Or do you dye?

Jackie: Wow. Well, in case you can’t tell, we have been quarantined for well over a month now. And the roots are not blue, so no.

Gabe: Jackie, that’s awesome. All right, listen up, everybody. Here’s what I need you to do. I need you to go over to PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy. There’ll be a whole bunch of buttons there to sign up for the new feeds. Not Crazy. 2.0 is gonna be awesome. Lisa’s gonna be there. I’m going to be there. We’re gonna do really, really, really, really, really cool things. But of course, you won’t hear any of it if you don’t subscribe over on PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy. We’ll see everybody in the brave new world. I hope you all are doing OK.

Jackie: So long and farewell,

Gabe: I like that.

Jackie: I’m so good at this now.

Gabe: Aww, that sucks, just when we got it.

Announcer: You’ve been listening to Not Crazy from Psych Central. For free mental health resources and online support groups, visit PsychCentral.com. Not Crazy’s official website is PsychCentral.com/NotCrazy. To work with Gabe, go to gabehoward.com. To work with Jackie, go to JackieZimmerman.co. Not Crazy travels well. Have Gabe and Jackie record an episode live at your next event. E-mail [email protected] for details. 

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#World of Psychology

[legasovas]

quarantine asks: 27, 28, 30, 31, 43, 46, 36 please

Thank you so much for the ask dear 

27.  I do not like a whole lot of things about it, but one thing I like is that I have so much free time.  Mostly, I am out and about, with comrade, friends, University, and work, so mostly I am browsing Tumblr when I am done with all the stuff I need to do, or in between tasks.  Plus spending time with comrades who are the best friends and roommates to ask for is amazing as well.  We watch movies, we play games, we talk, lots of things. 

28. Being restricted to home and stuff.  I am an extrovert, and I like going out and being around people, and my comrades and I are currently stuck in quarantine together without any ability to be mobile and help run materials and food and supplies to help the most vulnerable of our communities.  Not only that, I cannot physically visit my parents and my grandparents due to my grandparents being 103, and 104 (I did not get to celebrate my grandpa’s birthday with him so that sucks) and my dad having heart problems.  The worst part is that I am germophobic so having a virus around makes it lovely for my anxiety.  So that is the most challenging part of it.  

30.  I have good hygine anyways, but mostly I have been avoiding crowded places, basically have been forced into a quarantine by the governor of my state, lysoling my car and house whenever I go out.  Washing my hands, showering daily, etc.

31.  I have learned nothing much.  But my point has been proven that the government is full of incompetent and greedy arseholes, and that communities are able to rely on each other, especially in the poor areas because the politicians do not give a shit about any of the poor and working class in my country. 

36.   🙄 🤦‍♀️ 😩

43. My comrades definitely.  Also my books, Yugoslav partisan music, Red Army Choir, my treadmill, my drawing supplies (a wacom tablet, sketchbook)  and looking forward to getting more tattoos.   

46. One thing positive is that our elderly neighbors that we adopted per say are not sick from coviod-19, and they are doing amazing.  They are really nice people, and they also help an do charity work for the homeless and hungry in their spare time, so they have a wealth of information on how to improve our outreach to those areas of our population as well. :)

#asks #tales from a quarantine #coviod-19 #coronavirus

[khelinski]

Covfefe - 2020 edition

Me: Haha. I just created a new covfefe piece!

Person. (Of all time, your Favorite President). Woman. (Weak, grab 'em by the pussy). Man. (Putin, treated unfairy). Camera. (Covfefe). TV. (Fake news).

The world whispers in my ear: You are so ten years ago in Trump time.

-Declares war against TicToc because CHI-NA and TicToc users embarrassingly trolled him.

-Declares war against mail-in voting ballots (despite him NEVER visiting a voting booth since 2004, after embarrassing himself in an Access Hollywood video (again)).

-Continues to golf while people are dying/being thrown in unmarked vehicles, and kids are STILL being held in cages near the border.

-Oh, and he proposed for the election to be postponed...which shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that actually paid attention when he 'joked' that he should be President for life.

Me: Come on, orange man. I can't keep up with you and your wannabe dictatorship.  

The world: 'America, fuck yeah' mentality had it coming. But it is starting to freak us out. Could you, like, stop.

Me: We are trying.

Random whiny white Trump supporter: THANK YOU, PRESIDENT TRUMP!!!! THANK GOD YOU ARE MY PRESIDENT!!! TRUMP 2020!

President Trump on Fox News: Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.

Random whiny white Trump supporter: He is so smart!

Me: Fuck me!

The world: Fuck me.

K.H.; 8/3/2020.

***

Riddle me this - why is it easier for some to believe that Hillary Clinton ran a sex ring operation at a pizza parlor and Tom Hanks is involved in an international pedophile operation (all debunked) than it is to believe that Donald J. Trump is sleazy (his tweets/interviews/the drivel that comes out of his mouth is obvious enough)?

I once wrote a short story about the world being sucked into a black hole in 2012. I am starting to think it actually happened.

K.H.; 7/30/2020.

***

Dear Governor Ron DeSantis (or do you prefer DeathSantis?),

I am posting this video as a reminder of who you were. Were. Not are. Or are you still the buffoon that is in this video? It’s obvious why you put out a video like this during the campaign. It’s obvious which base you were aligning yourself with. And it’s been obvious that your cocky attitude toward Covid-19 (and Fox News/the current President prematurely praising you months ago) put you in the position you are in now: fucked.

You just lost your big party that was going to reside in Jacksonville in August.

All major theme parks cancelled their fall events this year.

Oh, and the realitycheck of it all – Covid-19 numbers are up. So is the death rate. Not so fun fact: death rates affect your voters, regardless if it’s your base or not. Just sayin’.

Now is the time to stop being a Donald Trump twin and actually start to lead. Listen to health experts, for one.

I know at this point, might be too late to roll back the reopening phases. But it’s never too late to mandate masks. I know, I know. The whitey-righty-tighty’s are just going to love that. They will throw tantrums, spit, swear, maybe even whip out a knife or gun because they feel their freedoms are being infringed. Afterall, this is the same America (with the same kind, considerate, empathetic group of people) that were hoarding toilet paper in their stockpile just five months ago. [America, the brave - America, the proud.] They are not exactly a bunch that will be inspired by this new way of life. But, I don’t know, if you, perhaps, possibly, maybe, lead by example – your loyal subjects, ahem, voters, will get behind you.  

But – if DeathSantis has a nice ring to your legacy…continue talking out of your ass and ignoring the problem. That was what the current President was doing for a while. The realitycheck was too much for him to ignore.

K.H.; 7/24/2020.

***

I do have a perfect drinking game for his ‘televised rallies,’ ahem, ‘Covid-19 briefings'…

Take two shots of disinfectant every time he says ‘tremendous,’ ‘we’re doing a great job,’ ‘we’re doing a beautiful job,’ ‘best in the world.’ Take three shots of orange koolaid laced with cheap tequila every time he says ‘CHI-NAA,’ ‘dem-a-crate,’ and ‘fake news.’ Take forty-five shots of Russian Vodka every time he praises Vladimir Putin. And take half a jar of covfefe water every time he pouts or leans as if he is constipated.

K.H.; 7/24/2020.

***

I have no opinion about school's opening up now (or in the fall). I am not a teacher. And I don't have kids (at this point, I am thankful - sorry, not sorry).

But between the Trump wannabe running Florida that proclaims that if Walmart/restaurants are open, schools should be too (and like Trump, ignoring the Covid-19 numbers) & leaving out the fact that Walmart/restaurants have adjusted their operations/hours/or even closed up if Covid-19 affects their/guests well-being; and the politicians (on either side of the fence) that don't shed tears anytime a mass school shooting occurs, but demands schools to be open right this millisecond during an world-wide outbreak - that is a grim reality one has to serious think about, friends.

I would leave it to the health experts to argue whether it's too soon or wait a bit.

Donald Trump is 1/100% right about one thing. School is important. You don't want to become President someday and be unable to speak or spell coherently.

Kids around the world - don't be like the current President of the United Shates. Eat your vegetables. Don't pay someone to do your homework. Also, don't pay hookers to keep their mouth shut. Also, don't participate in locker room talk if you are being recorded (or not being recorded - just don't do it). Also, don't be a racist. Also, don't bring up history when you haven't learned anything from history. In other words, be better for our future than what is currently the standard of 'a stable genius.'

K.H.; 7/10/2020.

***

The year is 2021. After Joe Biden wins the 2020 election, and Donald Trump's reluctance to leave the White House – only leaving when he was told by Sean Hannity that he needs to leave, because, you know, that’s the law, and Donald Trump only listens to Sean Hannity for Presidential advice – Sleepy Grandpa Joe is sworn in.

Just before he finishes being sworn in, Kayne West shows up, interrupts the inauguration, and says:

“Yo Joe, I’m really happy for you, I’ll let you finish, but Trump was one of the best Presidents of all time. One of the best Presidents of all time! My tacky red #MAGA hat makes me feel like Superman. And you all need to praise God – for I am the savior of saviors, the most original artist of all times and I am going to call myself P-Diddy-Tupuc-The Artist, formally known as Prince Kayne West.”

Everyone looks shocked, except Donald Trump, who has a creepy smile on his face. It’s the same facial expression he gives anytime he is around his daughter.

The end (of times).

K.H.; 7/5/2020.

***

I am surprised (but not really) that the whole 'Killary/...but her emails' crowd are not in a complete and utter outrage over Russia's bounty on our soldiers. Covfefe-itis - out of sight, out of mind? 

K.H.; 6/29/2020.

***

I have no opinion about Splash Mountain, much like I have no opinion about Confederate flags/statues, or grocery store items being rephased.

But, I am still raw with emotion in regards to The Great Movie Ride. Just sayin'.

Seriously, I don't have much of an opinion of the matter. Though I am currently residing in central Florida, I grew up in the north - in which, from my recollection, won the civil war. I never understood the appeal/romanticizing of a flag that represented America's low-point in history. Then again, I never understood why there is still a group of people that quotes the bible in the same breath they will shout, 'Jews will not replace us.'

We, as humans, evolve (contrary to some that proclaim evolution does not exist), we keep learning. What we thought was acceptable yesterday is not acceptable today. And what is acceptable today, will not be acceptable tomorrow. That is not liberal-speak, that is fact. Just study history (also, contrary to belief - history is not being erased, for books still exist). And books (literature) of yesteryear often has a foreword or afterword, with added context/intent to explain the times in which the book was written in.

K.H.; 6/25/2020.

***

*breathes in, breathes out*

Covid-19isnotahoax,it'sstillhereandkillin'lives.Don'ttakeadvicefromamanthatcan'tspellhamburgerandthinkswindmillscausescancer.

*breathes in, breathes out*

Blacklivesdomatter.Ifalllivesdidmatterassomeproclaim,whataboutthosekidsthatarestillincagesneartheborder?

*breathes in, breathes out*

PresidentTrump'sracism,arrogance,andthin orangeskinisveryclear.Justreadandlistentohisrecentinterviews,tweets.

*breathes in, breathes out*

Lifeistrulyprecious.Dothethingsyoulove.

*breathes in, breathes out*

Forthosethatneedit,*hugs*

Thatisall.

K.H.; 6/18/2020.

***

A man in a white robe, sandals, and long hair walks down 16th Street. This man is dark skin, Middle Eastern, a Jew, and believes in ‘love your enemy, love your neighbor.’ The whites would see him as a threat, just by the look of him – and demand for him to be locked up, taken away, shipped out of the country. The President would label him a terrorist in a Tweet. And yet – he is the symbol of everyone that misinterprets his teachings.

Scholars would debate he even existed. Whether he existed or not, the Son of God’s complete persona has been cherry-picked to fit a person’s agenda (political or otherwise – even though, according to religious people – faith can’t be politicized, even though, it is since the dawn of religion). The hypocrisy of faith being good grows generation to generation as people rationalize evil ‘in the name of God.’ The sad, long history of genocide, rape, misogyny, racism, pedophilia is often associated with a religious fanatic, twisting words of so-called ‘faith’ into propaganda. This is nothing new. And yet, it keeps happening.

Now, imagine if you will - Jesus magically appears (poof) – as the prophecy proclaims. He doesn’t descend from the sky, but instead, walks down 16th street or Main Street or any street in this country. He is dark skin, Middle Eastern, a Jew, and believes in ‘love your enemy, love your neighbor.’ Given the prejudice that already exists in regards to skin color – do you really think the country that loves to throw ‘God and America’ on the same Made in China baseball hat, would be open arms to Jesus? They might be open to bare arms, but I don’t think they would be welcoming.

I don’t mean to offend anyone - yet, I am utterly confused why, after all this time (and years and decades and centuries), the conservative side of the fence prides itself having faith and Jesus on their side, when the very things they are against (or for) are anti-Jesus.

Of course, that is the perception of an Atheist (me). If I am completely off-base here, fine - ignore and scroll along.

But, once again - Jesus = a Middle Eastern man, who happens to be a Jew, dark skin, and believes in ‘love your enemy, love your neighbor’ walks down the street at the same time a handful of protestors are being tear-gassed so the President of the United States can lean (not stand) next to a church and have pictures flash at him as he is awkwardly holding a bible…W.W.J.D.?

K.H.; 6/6/2020.

***

Once upon a time, there was no racism at all. I CAN’T BREATHE. Everyone got along with each other. I CAN’T BREATHE. There was no indifference, intolerance, and prejudices against anyone. I CAN’T BREATHE. People saw people as people. I CAN’T BREATHE. A person’s individuality was his or her self-worth, and everyone was worthy of being worthy. I CAN’T BREATHE. There were conflicting opinions about various topics, but were debated openly through philosophical discussions. I CAN’T BREATHE. Police existed to give that occasional speeding ticket, and to keep law & order in case those philosophical discussions turn hostile. I CAN’T BREATHE. I am not a racist. I CAN’T BREATHE. But. I CAN'T BREATHE. All lives matter. I CAN’T BREATHE. If only they protested peacefully. I CAN’T BREATHE. They are thugs. I CAN’T BREATHE. And I am perfect. I CAN’T BREATHE. #MAGA loves black people. I CAN’T BREATHE. The shooting starts when the looting starts. I CAN’T BREATHE. Blue lives matter. I CAN’T BREATHE. My life (only) matters. I CAN’T BREATHE. Racism doesn't exist. I CAN'T BREATHE.

"I. CAN’T. BREATHE." - George Floyd, 46.

5/31/2020.; K.H.

***

Rebuttal Myself, gaslight, and #maga!

“My fellow Americans…it seems the fake news and lamestream media, excluding Fox News, which is neither fake or lame – is running a story that I, President Donald Trump, the best President there ever was and will ever be, told Americans to inject themselves with disinfectant. I never said that. I hardly knew the guy that said that. The person that said that was a day less stable and less of a genius. That person is smarter now. I, afterall, surround myself with the best people. And I consider myself the best. I know it. And you know it too. We are doing great things, amazing things, tremendous things. Numbers are up, numbers are down, highest polls in the history of polls. And the ratings - better than Obama's! I could be golfing or holding rallies or doing great trade deals with other countries that don’t screw us. I could be with my friend, Rocket Man, who is very sick right now. You fake people aren’t running stories about that. Instead, every evening, I come in here and talk to you fake people. You are fake. You are hacks. You are scum. Your reporting is mediocre. Everyday, you run a story about how President Donald Trump is doing a bad job. And I, out of everyone, know President Donald Trump is doing a good job. I talk to him everyday. I never said the things I said, and don’t mean the things I mean. You people should be ashamed of yourself – running such fake stories about the President. I mean, if another person was President like me, and did exactly what a President like me would do, I wouldn’t be running fake stories about myself. This is an unprecedented time. The Invisible Enemy of the people is with us. Not you fake people, although, you are still Enemy of the People. No – the Covfefe Virus is still with us. I called it the Chinese Virus for a while, because, that is where it came from. We are working on repercussions right now. Something severe, but not too severe. We still do trade deals with them. They’ve been screwing us for years, but they still make my 100% American Made in China Make America Great Again appeal, which is 50% off by the way, Covfefe virus discount. Now, I will take questions. But before you fake people ask your terrible questions – remember that you are scum, fake, and have no morals at all. Also remember to lower your voice, stay calm, don’t shout, don’t whisper either, don’t be fakey fake fake, and thank your President for all the hard work your hard working President does.” – The Calmer in Chief

K.H.; 4/24/2020.

***

LIBERATE THOSE KIDS IN CAGES NEAR THE BORDER. LIBERATE YOUR TAX RETURNS. LIBERATE TRUTH (and save your freedom of the press - it's being under siege by you)*

*(sorry, not sorry).

K.H.; 4/17/2020.

***

Phase One – Assemble and get down with the sickness.

Phase Two – Age of Apocalypse.

Phase Three – Infinity [Number of cases] War & Endgame.

Phase Four – Spin offs and delays of life.

Phase Five - ….

Phase Six – Mutants.

K.H.; 4/16/2020.

***

'Cocoon 3: Covfefe and No Malarkey, Pass that Geritol!'

Plot: A 78 year old man dropped out of a brawl at the back of a hole-in-the-wall bar to win the heart of lucky Lady Liberty, leaving a 77 year old and a 73 year old in it to corrupt her, ahem, win her.

K.H.; 4/8/2020.

#covfefe #Donald Trump #america #maga

[dudence-blog]

Dear Dudence for 8 March 2018

Been doing some home projects and was very proud of a nice TV shelf I built. Very proud of how it turned out and I can still count to 10!  YAY!  Winning.  So, now we’re off to the questions and answering them for people who don’t know I’m answering them! 

My father passed away last year and I’ve finished up most of the legal matters, but I have boxes and boxes of family photos. My father was born very poor, but I doubt members of the British royal family have led such documented lives. I have hundreds of photos of him at every stage of his life. I have photos of my mother—including an album and 16 mm film from her first wedding, a marriage that only lasted eight months. I have photos of my grandparents, great-grandparents, great-great-great grandparents. I have school pictures, team pictures, travel pictures, holiday pictures. All these photos completely fill a large walk-in closet.

Dear Family Photos, you don’t need to sacrifice your space and time to store something you don’t want.  I do think you should do what you can to preserve those items.  Just because you can’t imagine who’d want to see it doesn’t mean no one in your family, or elsewhere, won’t.  if you’ve got the money to spend it would probably be worth looking into a photo organizing/digitizing service.  You could probably even solicit financial help from the rest of the family since it is a project aimed at the family.  Get an estimate, shoot out and email saying what it’s going to cost and see if anyone would like to PayPal you some of the cash.  Depending on how much you value your time and doing something else with it the several hundred to over a thousand dollars for such services might even be cheap.  If you’re balking at the cost try and get some other interested family members to come over and go through the bounty.  Put everything that can be identified in one pile, that which can’t in another.  Apply whatever filters you want to the first pile; “We want 10 photos of Grandma and Grandpa”, “At least one photo from every house we lived in”, whatever.  Let your imagination run wild.  When everything is filtered take the discard pile, contact your local historical society or a heritage society and see if they’d like some of the photos (great-great-great grandparent pictures might feature background locations which have been destroyed for decades).  If there is a design or art school in the area see if they could use it; old photos can be used in projects, for inspiration, whatever.  Finally, just take some handfuls, post them on eBay as bulk vintage photographs and sell them.  You don’t need to let your family’s history dominate your storage space, but you can fulfill your role of custodian and not let than happen.

We took in my son’s girlfriend when she was 15, after her stepfather broke her arm and her mother threw her out because she wouldn’t lie to the police to protect him. She was the daughter people pray for: kind, respectful, and smart—she graduated fourth in her class despite everything she went through. My son and her broke up in their senior year, but she continued to live with us even while our son went off to college. (She went to community college and became a pharmacy tech.) They are both 23 now. We see her regularly and consider her part of our family. My son’s current girlfriend dislikes this. She says she will not come to visit us if we continue to have her over, and guilts my son for coming alone. He skipped Christmas and Thanksgiving last year on her orders.

Dear Like a Daughter, sometimes it’s really hard not to let me mind go wild filling in missing context.  Such as how much of “what my girlfriend said” have you heard from the girlfriend herself and not through your son?  “How does your son feel about his ex becoming his ‘sister’ in the eyes of his family?”  “Was their break-up mutual and amicable?”  “Are there any sort of lingering romantic feelings from either party?”  Taking everything at face value your son is probably letting his dick do a bit too much of his thinking for him.  Disappointing, but understandable.  It also means you probably don’t need to worry about this breaking up your family or you losing your son.  He’ll be moving on.  Taking this a step deeper though, let’s look at what’s going on here.  Your other children have discontinued contact.  You’re using some pretty hurtful language to describe your son’s disappointing but not wholly unusual actions, and I’m going to question just how welcoming you are towards his new girlfriend given you’re referring to a woman he’s been with for at least half a year as “the girl he has been sleeping with”.  Finally, your foster daughter is a young woman herself, maybe she should be finding her own “boy/girl she has been sleeping with” so she’s not left with “Ex’s family” as the only people she has in her life.  

My mother remarried when I was 17 to “Dan.” Dan was accused of molesting several neighborhood girls after I was 23 and married. The evidence was pretty damning: Beyond the girls’ testimony, he sent explicit photos to a 12-year-old girl and tried to get her to do the same. Dan plea bargained and served less than a year in prison. My mother stood by him during it all and even sold the house my dead father left her to pay for Dan’s legal fees. Her support of Dan broke our relationship. Our last serious conversation involved me begging her to see the evidence (the texts had just come to light), and I asked what she would have done if I had been one of those molested little girls. My mother said that wouldn’t have happened because she didn’t raise me to be a “slut.” Since then, I don’t visit and rarely call my mother.  I am pregnant now, and we know it is going to be a little girl. After we posted the news on Facebook, my mother sent me a physical letter explaining that she was sorry about our “estrangement,” excited to be a grandma, and hoped this would be a new beginning for us all. I miss her so badly, and never thought I would go through this without her.

Dear Mom’s Support of a Child Molester, wow… and then there’s the letter which fills in a lot of the contect.  This is not better.  On principle I have a tough time condemning someone for loving who they love; emotions are weird.  But I think you’ve got to make the difficult decision to cut your mom out of the loop for the time being.  Maybe permanently.  It’s not the “being married to a child molester” part which really squicked me out, but the part where she says the girls bore some responsibility for Dan’s actions.  It would be one thing if she admitted he’d done some terrible things, but she still loves him in spite of it… he paid the price for his actions… blah blah blah.  I mean, shoot, a father in Texas just successfully petitioned the governor to commute his son’s death sentence, the sentence he received for murdering his mother and brother.  Your mother’s view of the victims is really the red flag here.  I’d leave the option open to repair the breach in your relationship with you mom, but it’s going to have to come with her having a reckoning of just how, and why, she has supported Dan.

I attended a trivia event with some fellow “mums of young bubs” for a girls’ night out. I was having a great time until I saw some of the women cheating by Googling answers. This made me feel uncomfortable (I’m an honorable soul), but the awkwardness grew worse when at the end of the night we won the second-place prize (a bottle of wine—each!) by only two points. We cheated on more than two answers, so we definitely cheated other tables out of prizes.

Dear Trivial Trivia Concerns, if you only won by two points despite Googling it’s likely the competitors were doing so as well.  That really doesn’t matter though since your issue is with the cheating itself.  When you go next month tell the girls you don’t want your team to cheat.  You’re enjoying the night out in and of itself and will happily supply the wine if you don’t win because you were playing fair.  Heck, you’ll probably be supplying better wine than you’d get from a bar’s give-away for a trivia game.  As for what to do with your ill-gotten gains: drink the fucking wine.

One of my best friends since teenage years (we’re in our mid-30s now) has consistently made terrible dating choices: abusive men, drug addicts, just plain jerks, you name it. She is a great single mother to a wonderful 6-year-old, and got back together six-ish months ago with “Jake,” a guy she briefly dated a few years ago. She recently moved in with him, and while he seems nice enough, even she admits he is not the sharpest tool in the shed and doesn’t have a lot of personality or interests. In fact, this is why she broke up with him in the first place. When I expressed surprise that they were back together, she made a comment about how she was just ready to “settle” because she was tired of being single.

Dear Best Friend Troubles, this is an AB issue and you should C your way out of it.  Do you know why your friend thinks Jake is dull without a lot of personality and interests?  It’s because he’s not an abusive, drug addicted jerk.  After a decade or so of filling her life with shocking levels of drama she is with someone who does not bring the noise.  As a metaphor, just because a habanero pepper isn’t as hot as a ghost pepper, doesn’t mean the habanero isn’t also hot.  Jake most likely is plenty interesting as “Jake”, he just appears uninteresting because his interests don’t include a series of unfortunate events which inexorably lead to a visit from the police.  Honestly, that you’re proudly stating how your friend views you as a font of relationship advice, and your advice has led her to a string of soul-destroying horrors, you might want to rethink the little voice in your head telling you that you’re not sure if you should be encouraging her relationship with nice, personable Jake.  Let me be blunt, you need to see something shocking to the senses if you come away from your visit to your wrong-side-of-thirty single-mom-with-a-history-of-abusive-relationships friend saying anything to her but your best wishes for their happy future together.  

I am 34, with a Ph.D. and a successful, happy life. I am regularly mistaken for being much younger—often a college student. (I live in a city with many colleges, which probably doesn’t help.) Though I’ll be “thankful for this someday,” according to many well-meaning but semi-irritating strangers, I have struggled for years to think of an appropriate response to people’s surprise upon learning my actual age. For a bartender or checkout clerk, a smile and nod tends to be OK. (I’ve also tried, “Yeah, I get that a lot and I never quite know what to say,” but that never seems to help.) In a professional environment, things feel a bit weightier, as I don’t want people to assume my experience and skill set is below where I actually am.

Dear Not as Young as You Think, the appropriate response is “Yeah, I get that a lot,” which you already know.  And it is going to continue to be annoying for you until the inevitability of time consumes your youthful appearance.  Hopefully it is more gradual for you than it was for Dorian Gray.  And involves less murder.  What I do wonder about is your professional situation.  Since your phd isn’t assumed is it something which isn’t expected in your field?  It is entirely possible that “you are much earlier in your career” compared to peers only a couple years older than you, despite you being very educated and credentialed.  They spent the years you were in school working.

I’m a 23-year-old woman and have been dating my girlfriend for just over eight months. I’m over the moon about it, we’re happy together, and we communicate well. Here’s the thing: She’s a bit high-strung and tends to react to small issues in life with tears. We’ve spoken about it and she has reassured me that it’s not a big deal, and that when she cries it doesn’t necessarily mean that anything terrible is happening. I really struggle with this. I grew up in a household with a lot of abuse, both physical and verbal, directed at everyone. My self-appointed role as keeper of the peace meant that I spent my entire childhood on the lookout for subtle signs of distress in everyone so that I could try and mitigate it. Someone crying sets off all of my alarm bells for “something I have to fix,” and it is very hard for me not to overreact to her tears.

Dear Not a Big Deal When She Cries, you know, I’m going to go ahead and say that the high-strung person in a relationship isn’t the one with the hair-trigger tears but the one who is a self-appointed relationship peacekeeper from the abusive household who is struggling to adapt to someone else’s emotions.  It is entirely possible this is just an issue which the two of you are incompatible.  When you’re still in the euphoric happy banging stage of a relationship and you’re finding yourself emotionally drained and internally annoyed by her innocent behavior that is not a strong indicator for future happiness.  You should totally check into some options to help you deal with your issues from growing up, but it might not be much help for this current girlfriend.  Maybe you could try and find the girl from the “Like a Daughter” and see if she’s into some sapphic delights.  She’s got no one in her life and might be wasting her time pining for an ex who has moved on.  Give it a go!

[sweetsunrayssr]

Max, the stray cat

“Many men have played a role in Nassau's story, but none have been able to break the cycle of brutality and failure. Your granddaughter came as close  as anyone before or since. But at the end of the day and despite her best intentions, there was one truth even she was unable to see. That at some point, progress cannot begin and suffering will not end until someone has the courage to go out into the woods and drown the damned cat.” (Max to Grandma Guthrie, XXXV, 4x07)

We know what Grandma Guthrie did with Richard Guthrie’s tomcat. And certainly 4x07 had the plot guns veering into the direction to aim for Flint. But is that the sole cat in focus, or is there another stray cat who was saved by a Guthrie so many times? There is: Max.

Remember those fairytales where an envious friend/sister/chambermaid abused the trust and generosity of a female lead character, procured her posessions, status and power, displaced the trusting soul by manipulating her? Right at the end of the story this social climbing deceiver is asked by a powerful ruler who suspects her of wrongdoing how she would punish someone who committed such crimes. And after the deceiver answers with a death sentence, she is demasked and executed in the manner she offered.

The whole scene between Grandma Guthrie and Max has that same foreshadowing vibe. The entire focus is on Max revealing bit by bit something about herself, including her unwillingness to answer certain questions that are dangerously close. It appears that Grandma Guthrie is not unsympathetic towards Max, but I would wager it is pure appearance alone. Grandma Guthrie is doing needle-point the entire conversation, something that visually connects her to Eleanor who was learning in 4x01 to look the part, to play her role. In other words, Grandma Guthrie is pretending here, playing a part, playing a role, including being sympathetic to Max. Eleanor was taught needle-point by her spying chambermaid. Grandma Guthrie was spying earlier in the day, when Rackham sought an audience with Grandpa Guthrie. She is observing and assessing Max in the later scene, like a spy.

Now let’s inspect some very relevant and pointed questions from Grandma Guthrie

“So, Richard would feed the tomcat  and Joseph would flog him for disobeying,  kick the tomcat for instigating. But the next night, the tomcat would return,  and on and on and on it went. See, none of them was capable of changing. The cat a slave to his hunger, my son to his decency, my husband to his rage. [...] Suppose the question is in Nassau's story, which of these roles do you play?” 

Grandma Guthrie stresses that none of them was capable of changing their nature. One can grow, one can pretend to play a role, but the nature to hunger to be given power/wealth, the nature to rescue and the nature to rage is an unchangeable instinct that returns over and over. And in Nassau’s story, Max was a stray cat, while Eleanor was repeatedly her savior: from Charles Vane, from Mr. Hammond and his colleagues, Woodes, Berringer, the pirates.

What was Max’s response to this? She blamed Eleanor for the Ranger crew raping her and remained with her rapists. She stole leads and gave them to Ned Low. She got her hands on Eleanor’s business.

Not so coincidentally Eleanor’s needle-point scene has Max being alarmed how much they are changing, with Eleanor responding that nothing important or fundamental would change quickly. And it did not.

Max managed to manipulate Eleanor into holding Vane’s trial on the island, to manipulate her into believing Nassau was lost and that Eleanor and Woodes alone were to blame for it, to guilt trip her into Max losing everything (though she arrived with nothing and all she owned was Eleanor’s business she had undermined and bought cheaply). And Eleanor kept feeding her stray cat Max.

Max never answers Grandma Guthrie’s question about the role she played in Nassau’s story. But notice how Grandma said the cat was a slave to hunger. That was a deliberate word choice of hers to a woman who obviously had some slave origin.

Richard and Eleanor’s roles in Nassau’s story of Black Sails were those of saviors. In Richard Guthrie’s office in 1x01 Billy eyes a painting strangely: it’s a painting of beheaded John the Baptist, the man who heralds the coming of the savior who ends up on the cross or martyred. Richard is found murdered by Vane on a cross in S2, where earlier Ned Low was beheaded by Vane. Eleanor pretty much dies as the villified martyr, majorly because of Woodes’ choice, Woodes who also had Blackbeard beheaded. 

Grandma Guthrie: “So, how exactly does one rise  from a slave plantation in the French West Indies to a library in Philadelphia, trying to remake the world?” 

Max: What difference does it make?    

Max’s evasion and Grandma Guthrie’s dagger look suggests that it makes quite a lot of difference. Eleanor’s grandmother is on to Max, or very soon will be.

What reason could Grandma Guthrie possibly have to “drown Max, the cat”? Woodes Rogers gives us a hint earlier in the episode.

“Eleanor turned her guns on me. Eleanor betrayed me. Surrendered Nassau out from under me. None of that sounded like anything that would ever occur to her to do. Not her. Not after everything we'd been through.  But if it had occurred first to someone else [...] Someone standing so close to her,  who could and would manipulate her to secure their own survival.”  (Woodes to Mrs. Hudson, 4x07)

Ding-dong! Not Mrs. Hudson, but Max was close to Eleanor. She throws a pity-party over all she lost, blames Eleanor and Woodes. Eleanor apologizes and makes emotional amends by revealing she loved Max enough that she wanted to say yes in 1x02.

“I truly am sorry. For all of it. If there was a way I could make things right here, I'd do it.” (Eleanor to Max, 4x04)

Shortly after Woodes Rogers appears in the bay with the Man O War and Eleanor beames with love and relief. And she gives Lieutenant Utley the orders to move the guns in the direction of the beach.

And then Max decides to remind Eleanor of what she is willing to do, to make it right again for her.

Afterwards, Eleanor sends an invite to Flint and Silver and proposes the fated cache-exchange deal.

Eleanor obviously saw it as a way for Woodes to repay his debts, rather than give it to Spain. Spain and England are at war. He could have legally regarded it as a war prize. Woodes suspects Mrs. Hudson and Eleanor had a deal. But Eleanor needed no such deal to relieve Mrs. Hudson, and Mrs. Hudson would have helped her regardless her plan. There was a deal between Max and Eleanor: Eleanor promised to give a portion of the cache to Max.

When the Spanish fleet arrives, Eleanor is at the beach at the other side of the island to retrieve the cache. While the rest of the council is unwilling to try and retrieve Eleanor, Max flies to the site with ONE HORSE, not two, not a cart, but ONE HORSE for HERSELF. More importantly, as self-sacrificing it seems of Max to ride to Eleanor’s rescue and Eleanor’s whereabout is all that Max is interested in when she finds Rackham on the beach, she easily abandons Eleanor to her fate and boards the governor’s sloop that Rackham captured. Something is very off here. It just doesn’t add up at first sight.

The key is that Max is not phased, not disturbed about Eleanor in the interior during the discussions between Mr. Frasier and Mr. Soames on whether to defend themselves or surrender to the Spanish, until Lieutenant Utley informs them that the lead ship just sent the governor’s signal and ordered them to stand down.

And she shows signs of extreme nervousness and fear the moment Mr. Soames decides they will follow Woodes’ orders.

So what about it being Woodes behind the Spanish fleet coming upsets her more than the Spanish fleet arriving without Woodes? It meant that Woodes intended to give that cache to the Spanish. On top of that Berringer had accused her of treason, and while Eleanor might have protected her from Berringer, she would be unable to protect Max from Woodes, especially since her closest associates Featherstone and Idelle were with the pirates. It was game over for Max, and she raced on horseback to Eleanor to get her portion of the cache at least, hoping to inform Eleanor of Woodes bringing Spain and hide in a cave or take a boat, likely with the intent to convince Eleanor into leaving with her.

Max did not go to the beach for Eleanor, but herself, for the cache, so she would have something “to show for”. And so when no Eleanor, no cache, she joined Rackham to the ship, making no effort at all.

In a way, Max is likewise responsible for Eleanor’s death. And this is something that Grandma Guthrie would not like.

Which brings us to the last question by Grandma Guthrie to Max:

“But there is one question remaining  that you will have to show me you can adequately answer. What will you do when the cat fights back?”

As Grandma Guthrie has not yet made any demand here about Flint, the cat can be seen as Nassau, but certainly Woodes. What happens to Max if Woodes is arrested and taken to Philadelphia and learns of Max’s involvement? What happens if Woodes fights back, connects the dots and accuses her of putting ideas into Eleanor’s mind that forced him to get Spanish help and all her “treason” before that? Hence, Max pronounced her own demise to Grandma Guthrie when she suggested to drown the cat.

ETA: I’m not trying to point out that Max does not mourn Eleanor. I’m not saying she does not care for Eleanor. But that there is far more self-interest (and a material one at that) in Max’s motivations and behavior, especially in S4. I don’t think ill of Max looking after herself more than the ex-lover wedded to another. I’m only pointing out that Max did manipulate Eleanor into choosing to do more for her than she was wiling to do in return, and it set recent chain reaction events in motion with deadly outcome. I don’t see Grandma Guthrie particularly shrug that off plot-wise, especially when Max uses the emotional angle of “revengeon the person that got your granddaughter killed.” Grandma Guthrie proved to have a larger scope than just the obvious link to Eleanor’s death by wanting Flint taken out.

#black sails #black sails spoilers #max #grandma guthrie #woodes rogers #eleanor guthrie #eleanor x woodes #maxanor #Meta_OPs #OPs

[savetopnow]

2018-04-01 13 VIDEO now

VIDEO

Bad Lip Reading

"IT'S NOT A MOON" — A Bad Lip Reading of Star Wars

"NFL 2018" — A Bad Lip Reading of the NFL

"TRUMP ANTHEM" — A Bad Lip Reading of Donald Trump

"[KARAOKE] Seagulls! (Stop It Now!)" — A Bad Lip Reading of The Empire Strikes Back

"CHRISTMAS IS HERE!" — A Bad Lip Reading of Donald Trump

Bill Wurtz

unboxing video

maybe i could eat blades of grass

La de da de da de da de day oh

soap tips

outside

Captain Disillusion

Chinese Invisibility Cloak Hoax DESTROYED!!!

TUTORIAL: Rigging the Ambiguous Cylinder for Animation

Quick D: Invisible Box Challenge

Gateway to Sedona DEBUNK

The Unbearable Loneliness of Being Right on the Internet - Live at Skepticon Australia 2017

CineFix

The 10 Most Personal Movies of All Time - Movie Lists

The Thing - What's the Difference?

7 Things You (Probably) Didn't Know About Pan's Labyrinth

4 More of the Best Shots of All Time - Movie Lists

'The Shining' Meets 'Heathers' w/ Cory Finley, Director of 'Thoroughbreds'

Exurb1a

Hymn for Goldilocks

A Dictionary for Your Twenties

Feelings, Pictures, and Ideas: A very simple theory of why good stories are good

Bear and Goose at the End of Everything

Problems With Mind Uploading

Kurzgesagt

A Selfish Argument for Making the World a Better Place – Egoistic Altruism

String Theory Explained – What is The True Nature of Reality?

Homeopathy Explained – Gentle Healing or Reckless Fraud?

Why Alien Life Would be our Doom - The Great Filter

How to Make an Elephant Explode with Science – The Size of Life 2

Mealtime Videos

Kids In New Zealand Are Out To Kill The Country’s Invasive Mammals [7:01]

These Aussie guys made their own TV show and a network picked it up! [5:07]

The True Story Behind Polybius, Gaming’s Most Bizarre Urban Legend - [7:04]

Hold On - Santana acoustic cover! [5:15]

My Wonderful Swim Teacher [10:07]

Nerdwriter1

How Dark Patterns Trick You Online

The Movies That Influenced Call Me By Your Name

The Most Disturbing Painting

The Florida Project Should've Been Nominated

Mr. Bean Is A Master Of Physical Comedy

Reddit Videos

This is what happens when one company owns dozens of local news stations

On this Easter weekend, let us pay respects and remembrance...of Kung Fu Grandpa.

Professor Stephen Hawking’s funeral held in Cambridge

The Story Of The Game Genie - Gaming's Most Famous Cheating Device!

Steve Carell, Stephen Colbert, and Dana Carvey react to a 20-year-old "Home Improvement" promo that summed up why their show, The Dana Carvey Show, was unceremoniously canceled

TED Talks

To solve the world's biggest problems, invest in women and girls | Musimbi Kanyoro

The wonderful world of life in a drop of water | Tom Zimmerman and Simone Bianco

How shocking events can spark positive change | Naomi Klein

How fashion helps us express who we are -- and what we stand for | Kaustav Dey

Do you really know why you do what you do? | Petter Johansson

The New York Times

How ‘Isle of Dogs’ Brings Canines to Life | Anatomy of a Scene

Why John Bolton’s U.N. Nomination Was Blocked in 2005 | NYT

Why Leaving Facebook Doesn’t Always Mean Quitting | NYT

Inside Broadway’s Secret Laboratory: ‘Hamilton,’ ‘Frozen,’ and So Much More | NYT

She Was Shot in Parkland. Can She Turn Trauma Into Change? | NYT

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Vlog Brothers

The Stories We Tell Ourselves: Thoughts from Amsterdam

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Trump, Guns, and Net Neutrality...With Governor Steve Bullock?!

The Russian Reversal

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Gordon Ramsay: The F word - promo

Hannibal sesong 2 - teaser

The Following sesong 2 - premierepromo

The Following sesong 2 - teaser

Wendover Productions

Space: The Next Trillion Dollar Industry

The Logistics of Living in Antarctica

How Overnight Shipping Works

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How Airlines Price Flights

Wisecrack

Hidden Meaning in IT (2017) – Earthling Cinema

Bee Movie But It's About Capitalism (Seriously.) – Wisecrack Edition

The Philosophy of Deus Ex: Does Paranoia Have Its PURPOSE? – Wisecrack Edition

The Philosophy of Assassin's Creed Rogue Remastered: The Cure for Freedom? – Wisecrack Edition

Most Philosophical Game Ever? – The Philosophy of NieR: Automata – Wisecrack Edition

#video

[epistolizer]

Hit & Run Commentary #130

Democrats obsessed with race to the point that their primary principle of social organization is preferential pandering to specific demographics are outraged that Trump utilized the term “lynching” in reference to the President’s impeachment travails abandoning the rudiments of habeas corpus. It is argued that the term ought only be articulated in reference to a solemn historical remembrance. As such, do these linguistic marms also intend to surrender usage of the term “witch hunt” as well? For a significant number had their own rights tragically violated during such inquisitions to stamp out occult activity. One must suppose that the majority of such apparently weren’t Black enough to bring the English language to a screeching halt.  

New York has changed state law so it can still prosecute those that have been granted a presidential pardon. So how is this appreciably different than Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio enforcing immigration law when the federal government refused to? Do progressives intend to speak out as forcefully in regards to this New York development? 

Some people really need to think through the implications of the things they advocate.  Apparently an associate is outraged that a student could be denied the opportunity to attend prom because of an unpaid lunch tab. Yet the same individual stated he is actively praying for the conditions to come about where that very same student could very easily end up being a trafficked sex slave or summarily executed on the streets. Civil wars are not the photographic tourist monuments of the Gettysburg fields. Just what exactly does this person think will come about if his prayer is granted that God judges American through a civil war? God promises things will be well afterwards for those that place faith in Him once the person is dead. However, history proves that He allows overwhelming horrors to take place in regions gripped by such conflict. Such a naive thinker apparently epitomizes Stalin's remark that one death is a tragedy but a million are just a statistic.  

It is often argued that Halloween used to be OK but no longer is because “times have changed”. If one holds the celebration is wrong, isn’t that essentially the same as saying that it used to be acceptable for grandpa to go to the strip club but Junior had better not do it?

On the 8/14/19 edition of Fox and Friends, the Lieutenant Governor of Texas in part blamed video games for the El Paso massacre because the gunman allegedly mentioned in his manifesto wanting to live out the super soldier scenarios found in video games. If this is the route we are to head down as a culture, will Marvel Comics also be blamed since Captain America is also a super soldier? While we are at it, why not lay a bit of the blame offices within the Pentagon such as DARPA constantly speculating about tinkering on the genetic, psychological or biochemical levels to create actual super soldiers and whose surreptitious machinations might actually have some shady role behind these acts of violence.  

In light of a series of mass shootings across the United States, it is repeatedly admonished that people need to come together in unity. Apart from not shooting people, just how close are people obligated to come together?  Relatedly, do those insisting that these incidents are failures in tolerance intend to compromise on the incessant demands those advocating progressive revolution constantly make under threat of upheaval?  For it is usually those holding to traditionalist conceptions of morality and social organization that are expected to alter their fundamental beliefs or be penalized with a variety of punitive sanctions.

Obama is now jacked out of shape about the ideological purity of cancel culture. But didn’t he in part get that particular ball rolling when he urged supporters to get in the faces of those that dared articulate criticism of his policies and when he threatened to punish his electoral enemies?  

Cambridge University Press has published a book titled “Cultural Backlash: Trump, Brexit and Authoritarian Populism”. So the people of the United Kingdom governing their own affairs is to be feared but arbitrary bureaucratic intervention into their lives on the part of transnational technocrats as epitomized by the European Union is the ideal to which they are expected to aspire?  

A Florida church is accusing the 18% that did not vote in favor of a Black pastoral candidate of racism. But if the congregational leadership is going to take the allegations online, shouldn’t the rest of us be provided with some idea what was actually said to determine if it actually was racist or merely what passes as such in the circles of contemporary Southern Baptist elites? Often that can be as little as disagreeing with a Black person or, perhaps more importantly, with the White leaders metaphorically using Black people as human shields to keep their hold on power.  

The Southern Baptist Convention is considering disfellowshipping a Florida church where a Black pastoral candidate did not receive the percentage of affirmations necessary to be granted the position. In all fairness, it was remarked in the Religious News Service coverage of the development that things were so split in the church that it’s doubtful Billy Graham in his prime could have mustered the necessary votes. Getting  booted from the Convention like that at this time could end up being the best thing that could happen to such a congregation. For is that really a spirit of diversity and inclusion if a mere 15% of a congregation fails to bend to dictates from a level of hierarchy technically derived nowhere from the pages of Scripture?  

Media and political elites are outraged that Trump announced that he is switching his official residence from New York to Florida. Commentator Juan Williams remarked that greed was behind this as part of a scheme to take advantage of Florida’s more favorable tax rates. So why isn’t it greed for governments to demand an increasing percentage of what individuals have prudently accumulated? Golfer Phil Mickelson was essentially accused of being a tax cheat in the press for making a similar move from California. But shouldn’t this mobility instead be praised as one of the inherent strengths of the federal system where the individual is free to ideally select from the fifty jurisdictions most in accord with their particular values or in which one can maximize individual well being?  

Southern Baptist Theological Seminary provost Matthew Hall laments that he views reality through a racialized lens, that that has given him undeserved power, but being called a racist is not the worst thing that one can be called. If so, why do those ranking among this faction of Southern Baptist functionaries spend so much time peddling White guilt and (along with what even Obama criticized as cancel culture) invoke that label with little evidence as a way to frighten opponents into silence? Most importantly, Hall seemingly does not feel so guilty as to be compelled by his conscience to relinquish his posh lifestyle to someone of their preferred demographic. But he does apparently feel guilty enough that you as a mere pewfiller in his estimation should be called upon to surrender what you have earned by the sweat of your own toil to be redistributed to or at least seized from you in the name of those that have not really lifted a finger of their own.  

Theologian Kyle J. Howard claims that the rise of homeschooling is linked to racism. Where in the Constitution does it say that the exercise of a right is predicated upon a socially acceptable justification? And what exactly does he define as “racism”? To many of these woke Southern Baptists, that consists of little more than disagreeing with a minority or, more importantly, with White elites claiming to speak for minorities.  

In a podcast on racial reconciliation, the theologian that denounced the founding of the homeschool movement as racist said that it is his desire to plant a multiethnic, minority led church. If he is to be praised for being so race conscious as to exclude Whites apriori from leadership positions, why would any Whites other than the self-loathing variety be willing to attend such a venue of subversion and leftist cognitive conditioning? For what if a minister spoke of his desire to plant a multiethnic yet Caucasian-led congregation where it was insinuated that all that minorities are wanted for is what they can drop funds in the collection plate?

The cover story of the Oct 2019 issue of Harper’s Magazine is titled “Do We Need The Constitution: Has The Nation’s Founding Document Become The Nation’s Undoing?” Usually when such questions are asked, it is not to consider provisions such as those regarding the establishment of post offices or forbidding the issuance of a title of nobility. Rather such grandiose inquires are enunciated as a pretext to justify the elimination of the Bill of Rights, particularly the fundamental guarantees of the First and Second Amendments.  

So if Chick-Fil-A is on record as not being an explicitly Christian company, perhaps we can at least do away with having to justify if one is a believer why one has never been to one or for feeling sleazy over picking an outright heathen establishment such as McDonald’s for a fast food outing.

Doesn’t the altering of a corporation’s philanthropy policy to placate an agitated faction indicate which side in that debate is most likely to engage in acts of violence or sabotage in the so-called “culture war”?

After a call to the CEO, Franklin Graham assures the faithful that Chick-Fil-A remains committed to Christian values. So does that mean celebrity Christians will stop upbraiding the mere pewfillers that don’t make themselves religious nuisances in the workplace but instead model their witness more along the lines of Joseph of Arimathea who Scripture references as a secret disciple?

In a world where the Salvation Army is looked upon with more contempt than outright subversive front groups such as C.A.I.R, Planned Parenthood, and La Raza, how long will it be before it becomes a crime to drop spare change in the Christmas kettle or parents charged with child abuse for letting their little ones do it?

Hugh Ross as an Old Earth Creationist believes that the days of the Genesis creation account are not to be understood as literal but rather as lengthy epochs of time. Now it seems his ministry has uploaded a podcast insinuating that the global flood was likely not quite as global as many Christians have come to believe. The astrophysicist assures that, by making this concession, the skeptic might be more inclined to consider other more important miraculous claims of Scripture. So how long until Ross starts insisting that it does not matter so much whether or not Jesus really did rise from the dead or that believers go to Heaven when they die?  Instead what really matters are the moral teachings of Jesus. Think this is an allegation a step too far? Ross’ conclusions were arrived at through a form of linguistic analysis not all that different than that resulting in the RSV substituting “young woman” for “virgin” in its translation of Isaiah.  

If as the commercial suggests it is Jimmy Dean sausage that lifts your spirits this time of year, you must be having one really miserable and pathetic Christmas.

Those sneering down their noses over Trump’s remarks about the effort to undermine Thanksgiving are the same ones that pitch a fit about the Pilgrim’s being White European Christians and over romanticize American Indians as the embodiment of Rousseau's noble savage hooey.

Apparently the KFC fire log is  something to burn in your fireplace and not what emerges from the other end of the digestive tract once that culinary treat is consumed.  

In a SermonAudio homily, a pastor confessed that, in terms of paganism, Christmas is as inherently evil as Halloween.   As such, he weaned his family off the celebration over the span of three years. But if Christmas is as evil as he insists and given that a holiday cannot produce biophysical dependency like a narcotic or alcohol, isn’t his way of renouncing the practice akin to saying one should quit the strip club over time rather than suddenly? Perhaps having a lapdance only once every other week followed by a time where one just goes to watch with no physical interaction?

If Hillary Clinton was really shocked at the way Donald Trump speaks about woman, wouldn’t she have not gone on the Howard Stern program?

By Frederick Meekins