#nonsense nonsense nonsense. what's wrong with adults i really don't understand [<- is an adult]

[luveline]

I'm sorry to send you such a loaded question, but as a young adult, how do you stay motivated and... I don't know, do the things you have to do? Ever since I left high school, I've felt that it's hard to commit to anything, especially the things I have to commit to in order to have a future, because everything seems so monotonous and uninteresting and stressful to me; because I feel like I'm not capable of doing anything, of being competent.

Anyways, I love your blog. Your writings are one of the few things that make me happy on the worst days xx

that’s okay! I’m gonna try and answer you clearly !! cw for suicide mention

So first I want to say that I’m really sorry you feel this way! It’s quite a heart ache to feel uninspired or uninterested, or worse to feel like you’re not capable of doing things everyone else is doing. You deserve to wake up and feel happy and confident in yourself and your abilities! And I want to say I’m sorry in advance if this is not quite the answer you’re asking me for!

so, when I was around 18/19 (and well beyond those years, but this was when I was very done and defeated and, you know, crying myself sick every night if I wasn’t just laying in bed) I was in university, but I didn’t finish the year at campus, and I had to go home. I’m not sure if this is something I should be saying because it’s so personal but I just want to sort of be honest with you cos I don’t want you to think you’re alone in that feeling. But anyways I had to go home, I was really lonely and I just felt like I couldn’t do what everyone else was doing, like there was something wrong with me. I couldn’t cope with the kitchen, I couldn’t use the bathroom there, I didn’t know how to turn the heating on, couldn’t talk to people, couldn’t navigate the bus by myself, and I felt so pathetically stupid, I had such low self esteem for myself that I felt like I should kill myself just because I was so useless —I didn’t WANT to understand these things. I just didn’t want to do anything. And the reason I’m mentioning it is because while I don’t think it’s okay to assume these things of you, I want to emphasise that there can be a common link between feeling like you aren’t capable and a mental health issue! Of course, you can feel quite useless without that though, so not telling you that that’s definitely what you have going on but more wanting to say that if you think it might be useful, you can have a look at mental health issues and perhaps see if you’re relating to them. But beyond that, hopefully on the way to answering your question, is how I managed to feel more capable and how I now find motivation to do things I have to do.

I sort of had to do a reset, or a sabbatical! I’ve always been an upset person unfortunately, and I had a long few months where I didn’t do anything at all. I’m really, really fortunate that my mother let me stay at home while this was happening however reluctant she was, I can’t imagine really what I would’ve done or what could’ve happened to me if she didn’t let me stay there. I always thought about how she could’ve just turned me out and she probably wanted to, because for months I stayed in bed. I didn’t talk to anybody, deleted all my social media, and I stewed in how much I hated myself for not being any good at anything. I felt soooo stupid and so alone, and I probably cried myself to sleep every night wondering about my life and if I’d ever have the motivation to go on. There are still times now where I am intensely upset and unsure about things and what I’m capable of, but the difference between then and now, and the reason for my motivation I think, was that I was able to foster a need for something? I’m really so sorry if this sounds like total total nonsense, but I needed something. I wanted so badly for someone to “save me” from my not being able to do things, I spent a lot of time thinking about that. Like, how I could be saved. And then I strung out the middle man without realising I was doing it! It is very hard to go from having no motivation and no sense of self ability to then being confident, but I do think you can do it! I needed someone to get me a job and I ended up doing it myself, I needed someone to be gentle with me when I was sad so I started speaking to myself with a more kind inner voice and seeing myself as someone who didn’t need to be perfect to be good.

There was lots of bits of advice I tried to take on. Not all of it is kind to myself, some of it is though!! Like, for example, there’s a sort of parody of it now that says “I think you’re thinking about yourself too much” but one of the ways I stopped hating myself and instead started to believe I could do things and achieve was by thinking about the level of self obsession I was feeling to constantly think of myself. And I promise I’m not trying to say something hurtful to you, I absolutely don’t believe you’re self obsessed, but you’re also not incapable!! In a slightly more annoying take on your feelings, why can’t you do it if everyone else can? You absolutely can! I personally believe sweetheart that you can do everything I can, but you need more support, or you need to be fostered with some love. You are not incapable, you are not incompetent, you are a smart, kind, and important person. There is nobody else like you on the entire planet and I’m better for it that you’re here.

I apologise profusely if I’m projecting too much on you, I’m not trying to say you must feel exactly as I did years ago, but I think your ask really is important and I really want to give you an answer to your question because I know I felt exactly the same at some point. Working toward a future self I didn’t even like or believe in was boring. Nothing in me wanted to work hard or study or continue because I didn’t look forward to achievement.

sorry this is all so long! Hopefully this last bit is the actual advice you might be able to use. Beyond that wisdom about trying not to dedicate too much time to thinking of myself, there are lots of “rules” I tend to live by, in order to just keep going forward. For starters, you deserve to have fun. You deserve good food, nice clothes (not showy though you deserve those too, but nice sturdy clothing), a warm safe house, and you need to work for it! We defo deserve to work less for things but I keep going and trying to better myself because I know I need to do this in order to be comfortable. This will sound out of left field, because the focus of the book is not strictly motivation, but there’s a graphic novel called my lesbian experience with loneliness by Nagata Kabi that has stuck with me because she has this same sort of view as to feeling like she’s stuck in monotony, and there’s one bit in particular where she talks about doing things for yourself you might not do, I.e making sure you have underwear and socks that are clean and whole. I grew up poor and I’m not super rich now either, but since I read that, one of my priorities is having whole and clean underwear, and that did help me find the motivation to work or to study. We need to function in a way to maintain good standards for ourselves, and even if you have boxes of clean socks, there might be something in your life you can think about working toward! I throw away underwear or any clothes that don’t fit me right, and I don’t feel guilty about it when I would’ve before because I know that feeling well dressed is good for your heart. Does that make sense? To give yourself a good standard of life, you have to keep going. As well as that, another way I stay motivated to go on which I’ve talked about before maybe (not that I expect you to have read this) is my writing. I’m motivated sometimes to do things I have to if only because I need free time to think deeply about the things I want to think about. Also I love writing more than pretty much anything, even if most writers will look at what I’m doing and laugh or wonder why I’d dedicate so much time to some things in particular, because I love it. If I can make sure my rent is paid every month, that’s a promise I have a room to sit in every night where I can write whatever story I want! Another motivation is my ability to give bits of myself? It sounds ridiculous because I don’t genuinely believe I’m giving myself to people but to try and be a positive part of someone life is a good place to start if you feel purposeless. My relationships with my sisters are a tether for me and I’ve tried so hard and so much to make these relationships count, as well as with long distance friends, and recently ish I got back into contact with friends I couldn’t maintain relationships with when I was feeling down, and now my life feels very changed. I don’t live solely for myself, (though it’s okay if you do, because its hard and sometimes a lot of pressure to live for and around others) so that gives my life more purpose, and gives me more reason to do things I have to do. I also desperately enjoy this blog !!

I’m genuinely so sorry if this is all useless. I’ve been typing this answer since like 1:05 and it’s much later now, but it’s because it’s hard to describe to you the things that give motivation, because I know deep down how impossible it feels when you have none. I don’t expect you to read this and think aw jade you’ve solved it I’m fine now actually, I just hope that one thing in here can lend you an idea as to what to do next. If you’re struggling to go on, there are lots of options available to you in the UK such as the SHOUT text line for stress, depression, and eating disorders. They’re free to text and anonymous! I don’t think there’s one answer to giving yourself purpose, it is a very hard life and I don’t blame you for feeling incapable or bored or worried or anything you’re feeling, but I do for sure know you can do this, because I can do it, if that makes sense. Like I bet we’re extremely different people on account of uniqueness but also bet we have so many similarities!! And I certainly don’t mind guessing that you’re a loving, caring, person who deserves to feel more fulfilled. It’s my recommendation that you try to understand why you’re not feeling your best right now, that you talk to someone if you can, that you have some faith in yourself, and that you treat yourself with the same love and patience as you would any other person experiencing burnout! again I’m so so sorry if this is all rubbish. I’m forcing myself to stop now. So sorry if it doesn’t make sense or if half of this is completely unrelated to what you’re asking. I love you and I hope you feel better, genuinely truly ❤️❤️❤️❤️

#jade's asks #ily

[keeps-ache]

i need more object-head OCs. it's So imperative to my health

#just me hi #but also i feel a little bad adding onto an already ginormous pile of OCs hfbvhshf #love characters that don't have real faces !! i get like 5 different kinds of happy about them :D #but also i'm very picky about the Shapes hfhsh #squares and circles are very much the only things i like to draw. so obviously i must draw a stop sign #but maybe less human-looking. more arms ? or maybe legs ? #or a little of both? #oh i could just make her a robot #that would be cool :3 [<- knows this is becoming a trend] #i mean what would a stop-sign look like if it could choose? #BRIGHT. and maybe loud? she'll have a very light frame of course. because stop sign #OO maybe she'd integrate red lights for extra Attention #/anyway now i'm going to go and actually figure out what to do lol #we were Supposed to go to the grocery store but That didn't happen #nonsense nonsense nonsense. what's wrong with adults i really don't understand [<- is an adult] #anyway! i continue on :3

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

.

#pickle pontificates #i need to find a nice chill blog to follow for a certain fandom because I've been braving the wild west of the tag for a few weeks #and I'm sick and tired of seeing weird braindead discourse that's just rehashing stuff from every fandom ever and refusing nuance #i hate shipping discourse. sick of it #liking a ship or hating a ship does NOT make you morally superior or inferior or say anything about your political opinions #(in and of itself anyway) #like. yeah i don't ''get'' a lot of ships and don't really love any for this particular thing #but like. people are going to ship. they're going to ship things that don't make sense to you. #they're going to ship ''the wrong couples'' and ''the wrong genders'' (???) and there's nothing you can do about that #it's fair to vent about ships you don't care for or understand and it's fair to enthuse about ships you love #what i don't get is discourse with ppl vaguing in main tags back and forth like there's a debate to be had #there's not. there is no debate to be had in matters of preference #if ppl were really debating what makes canonical sense then sure. you could debate that #but there are only like two or less implied canonical ships in this fandom and NO official ones #NOTHING makes canonical sense. SHIPPING IS PREFERENCE. shipping is almost always inherently nonsensical to varying extents #you're not going to change anyone's preferences or behavior by complaining about a widespread cross-fandom phenomenon that's now here #this is an adult/teen story with adult characters aimed at an adult demographic #be an adult and mind your own business instead of acting like it's a moral social justice crusade to engage in shipping discourse #mkay rant over #okay to respond/reply btw i just don't want this in tags

[kairiscorner]

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

what would it be like to be miggy's sole friend? (aside from my bbg lyla)

imagine being one of my miguel's only friends in middle school. like he was a bullied kid in middle school (i think he was in middle school in the '92 comics, correct me if i'm wrong) and like, i think our miguel (movie miggy) wouldn't really give a shit if you were his only friend, he just wanted it to be you.

like if you asked him why he didn't try to make other friends if he knew you would be there to defend him if someone tried to mess with him, he'd just shrug and admit that he doesn't really want anyone else. and if you'd follow up that question with another why, he... he wouldn't know himself why. he just feels better and at peace knowing you're all he has to call as his 'friend'.

he wasn't shy nor anti-social either, he did talk to people and make connections, but he never really went to anyone else but you to talk about problems, unburden burdens you both never realized you were carrying, and just... be yourselves around each other.

like miggy has to put up fronts, he always did, he always does. even as an adult, if you chose to stay by his side, you would always see different sides of him, it was never just one or two versions, but a whole spectrum of miggy that you witnessed and grew up with.

and he appreciates how you understand him despite you not agreeing with him a lot, like that shit comforts him, how you have tried to see things his way. and despite them not working/being agreeable for you, he likes how you at least try, for him, to see how he sees it.

you also know how much he hates other people telling him what to do, that riles him up the most. he hates not having things in control because when things aren't in control, nobody, not even him, is in control of themselves. you don't encourage his no nonsense behavior, you want him to have fun, but most of all, you are the only person who successfully convinces him to take a damn break and relax for once.

he has joked to you before how many couples he knew lasted long because they knew each other since high school or college, since you knew each other way earlier than that... what would you do if he proposed to you right then and there? what if he said he wanted to marry you, spend the rest of his life with you, have you remind him taking breaks, waking up in his arms in the morning, and going home with his hand in yours, ensuring you'd be safe forever as long as he was there?

"i know i'm not... the most agreeable or friendly man on this planet, but... i want to be better. and to be better, i learn from you. and the more i learn from you... i realize how much i've loved you all this time, all this time i've wanted just you and only you, that... must've been when i started falling for you, ever single part of you, it all makes my heart beat a little faster, makes me want to be someone worth loving by someone so worth it. and that someone is... you. so, what do you say?"

a/n: WHAT DO I SAY, I SAY YES BBG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

tags !! @miguelswifey04 (him to you fr <333)

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o’hara x reader #atsv miguel #miguel o’hara fanfiction #spider man 2099 #miguel x reader #miguel spiderman #miguel o'hara fluff #atsv #atsv spiderman

[eponastory]

Okay... this is ridiculous.

I am in no way dissing kataang. I understand it's a ship that is Canon (I'm not denying this) and have nothing against it other than the way it was handled in the OG series. To me, it was shoehorned in and very awkward. Personally, I like the direction the Netflix show is going where there is no hint of any kind of pairing other than Sokka's crucial romances. I also don't care for teenage relationships to begin with because it's tricky. Especially when it involves a 12 year old boy with a girl that is older. It's very... controversial. That is the eew part. Nothing wrong with them being adults later on, as I've stated in my previous post. But again, underage relationships are not my thing. Mainly because I am in my MID 30S and I mostly read stories that pertain to over 18 relationships. That is what I have to say.

But Jesus christ... yall gotta stop with the shipping wars. I've seen my fair share of them in my years of being in several Fandoms. Guys, gals, and those in between... people gonna do what they want! They are going to like what they want and love what makes them feel good. I happen to love several different things that don't always align with everyone else.

You've got both sides calling each other toxic when the majority just wants to live in harmony with their favorite ship. There is nothing wrong with that. This goes for all ships. I have my preferences and they aren't going to match up with everyone else's. That's fine. It makes me feel nostalgic.

But don't tell me what to do. Don't tell anyone what they should feel or say. That's toxic.

Thank goodness I can say and feel what I want because Godzilla help yall if things don't go the way yall want.

Sorry, that's just my no nonsense done with everyone's bullshit side coming out because I've seen some shit from different Fandoms over the years. It left me shaking my head and wondering if any of it is really that important.

Oh well, I'm just preaching to the choir here.

#no one can have a say anymore #is there an avatar for ship wars? cause we need some balance up in here #avatar the last airbenber netflix #avatar the last airbender #zutara #kataang #i do what i want #zuko #aang #katara #double negatives make a positive #anti what?

[jitterbugjive]

I hate that people can easily find the stupid and shitty things I said and did over 5 years ago and jump to the conclusion that that's who I am, and there's no easy way for anyone to see all the efforts I've been making since then to NOT be that person. It's hard to find all my apologies and explanations because I didn't tag them all properly. I've tried time and time again to explain that I was mimicking the behavior bad adults gave me when I was growing up and that no one really called me out on that behavior until it was too late. I've tried to explain that since then I've been going through extensive therapy to separate bad learned behavior from who I want to actually be. There's so much more to this whole story than what one small chunk of the internet is making it out to be. People who actually know me know that this has been eating me up constantly and that I am always living in fear of losing everything to this drama.

especially since some of that info takes quotes out of context, jumps to conclusions that aren't true, or flat out lies about what certain artworks are depicting or meaning to convey (Like claiming a grown ass adult is a child even tho I have proof the character looks totally different as an adult than as a child, or claiming that a shock piece meant to make people reel back in horror was a fetish when it was not at all that)

It takes clips of things without the full picture and puts words in my mouth.

Here's a little something about how I used to talk about sore subjects: I would make a controversial sounding statement, but then I would explain myself in a way that would show the statement wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be. A lot of the time they just take that bad statement and paste it for the world to see, without giving any of that context of me explaining why I said that and why it's not what it sounds like.

I wish people were smart enough to spot cherry picking when they see it, but they just aren't. They'll see one sentence, and someone saying "look they're supporting this bad thing" and that's all they need to think that's what it is. People aren't smart enough to really ask questions and try to understand a situation, all they want is face value to tell them how to think and feel.

People aren't going to bother to listen to me because I'm "the bad guy" and I'll "say anything to cover my ass".

Listen, if I was really that horrible of a person, don't you think there would be more evidence out there that is very clear and blunt and not just making assumptions on what a thing means?

I'm never gonna sit here and say what I said and did wasn't wrong, it was, but it was not done because I was trying to be a terrible person or prey on anyone. It was because I was insanely misguided by someone who groomed me for 5 years since childhood and then abused me for another 3 in a really toxic relationship. And then I never got HELP for it, I never got therapy to cope with it, I never even realized until way later that 'holy shit this person was 7 years older than me and was taking advantage of me the whole time'. Like I knew they were abusive but adults being friends with children was so normalized in my head, and throughout my life many adults or older kids exposed me to things I shouldn't have been and it skewed in my head what was appropriate behavior or not. Or what was okay to draw or not. And a lot of my opinions were formed around this adult who convinced me things like loli/shota were fine as long as they were strictly made up, and he fed me a lot of nonsense about what does and doesn't make a predator to cover his own ass. I was seriously fucked up almost beyond repair for a long time.

I have a warning on my blog now that minors shouldn't be following me, I make it a point to not ever work with minors on projects or talk to a minor in any capacity beyond a fan to artist relationship. I understand now that it is my responsibility as a NSFW artist that I simply cannot have minors as friends. And being much older now I don't even want minors as friends anyway. When I was in my early 20s the age gap didn't feel as bad but I'm definitely feeling it now and I just don't want to deal with minors any more.

I'm not a danger to anyone, I'm not spewing apologetics for horrible people, I've been doing my best to be a much better and more informed person

And I have no easy way to prove any of it in a way that will matter

I'm only talking about this now because once again I was kicked out of something because someone found that old info and that was all it took. No one cares about my side of things.

And I don't know if this will ever go away

I don't know if I'll ever find any amount of comfortable success because I can't get rid of this shit and on the internet it doesn't matter how long ago you did something or how much you've changed, you did it and therefor you're bad forever.

I hate this shit so much.

#vent #drama #sorry #apology

[this-acuteneurosis]

I kind of want to get you started on mind tricks. cause like weak minded to strong minded dynamic and the blur away, but also the sith back in the day were for SURE a Caste system of force sensitive rulers and non force sensitives, and the jedi were their ENEMY off and on for thousands of years, cultural bleed through and dynamics of their own power systems but Ben we are not the droids you are looking for go away so I dont have to kill you, versus Qui hey I want this thing trade it for me.

Alright, Oct anon, it's been a while, but I have not forgotten you definitely forgot this ask in my drafts for who even knows how many months but it's found again, whoo!

It's taken me a while to get this together partly to try and arrange my thoughts in a logical order but also...

Guys, I really, really care about the use of agency in stories. Like, I've ranted about it in relation to droids, I've explained some of my problems with it in the context of the thematic changes between the OT and the PT, I stew over it constantly in my brain, it's a central theme of many of my own stories (including DLB).

I really don't like mind control, and not just in Star Wars.

Now, just because I don't like a thing doesn't mean it doesn't have a place in story telling. As a device, mind control/manipulation can be useful or important to a plot. To a theme. Overcoming it can be powerful or cool (Ella Enchanted-I prefer the novel personally, Tanjiro in Demon Slayer: Mugen Train), watching someone succumb to it can be agonizing (Frodo in Return of the King, anyone? Princess Euphemia in Code Geass?).

So, what is the point of Mind Tricks (and that naming choice, "trick," making it sound almost...harmless) in the Star Wars story, and maybe in the universe?

I feel like in its initial reveal, the mind trick was supposed to a) convey how "magical" Jedi were and b) get the plot from point A to B. Obi-Wan waves his hand, someone believes something hideously untrue, move along move along, don't think about it too hard.

Like, literally, audience, please. Don't.

Luke uses it in RotJ for pretty much the same reason. To convery a) Luke is well on his way to being a "magical" Jedi now (oh but wait, there's more character growth he needs!), and b) Luke needs to get into Jabba's palace and why would they let him in? Because he says so, so we will take him to Jabba now. Move along, move along.

I don't like the implications of this power existing, and as an adult who has been in situation where I have to report to higher powers, the disregard of the consequences of these things are a bit darker if I look too closely, but like...move along, I guess. It's fine as long as we're only using these powers on space nazis and slavers. Right?

Except then we get more movies. And cartoons. It's fine if Obi-Wan mind controls a person into not smoking, right? Smoking is Bad and Obi-Wan is Good.

Only.

Only...

Who taught Obi-Wan to use mind tricks?

Ah yes, my old nemesis.

To all you Qui-Gon fans out there, you may wanna leave. This analysis is probably not for you.

So like, Qui-Gon Jinn. Qui-Gon "I'm friends with the current Chancellor and thus an obvious, notable representative of the Jedi Order but I don't get along with my higher ups" Jinn. The thing you have to understand about my opinion of him is that, as a young, first time watcher of TPM, I liked him. He was funny, irreverent, direct. He was wise, or at least seemed to know things no one else did. He was a maverick, ready to go against all orders and advice for what he knew was right. And everyone around him was just stuffy and uninformed.

And to be fair, he wasn't wrong about everything. He's set up to be sympathetic. He's trying to treat with the gungans and they won't listen? Well he and Obi-Wan are right, the Trade Federation does go for the gungans. The Order says there are no Sith? Oops, wrong on that one. The Council makes the ambiguous assertion Anakin is "too old" to train. We've seen the OT. We know "too old" is nonsense.

But like, what does Qui-Gon do when he's thwarted?

He takes away people's agency.

Oh, you don't want to help us, Boss Nass, political leader? Cool, well I'm gonna undermine you in front of your entire court and you're gonna give us a whole ship (that we won't return) to help us defend a people you've been in an active war with for centuries. Oh, my currency doesn't work on this planet? I think it will mister small time junk dealer with a gambling problem (jokes on you for that one, sir).

This to me is a huge red flag in a story that is about literal slaves. I know people will defend the above examples. It was necessary. There were lives at stake.

You wanna know who would have suffered if Qui-Gon had been able to con Watto out of that part?

Anakin and Shmi.

Worthless (or event mostly worthless) currency on a planet where you have to buy water is literal death under the right circumstances. And who do you think Watto's going to reduce rations on. He's got cash flow problems? What's the quickest way for him to make back what he just lost? I'll give you a hint, he gambles on them later in the exact same movie.

So like, well before we get to "weak minded" or anything dubious like that, there's this awkward question of, "Why are the good guys always using powers to make people do things? And not worried about the consequences?"

And like, if we go back to simple story narratives, and trying to move things from point A to point B, that's fine I guess. I enjoy the OT. I'll move along.

But if you ask me to stop and think about it.

Well...

#my soapbox meta #agency #this is without even touching on things like #Anakin accidentally-on purpose?-mind tricking Padmé theories #or like #dubious racial/class implications #teaching this skill to ~~~children~~~ #so many other things

[notmorbid]

my government means to kill me.

dialogue prompts from my government means to kill me: a novel by rasheed newson.

i didn't miss the money. not at first.

you can stay as long as you want.

i'll scream if i need you.

i grew up starved for affection.

lust is a universal language.

you're the exact opposite of my father.

you'll do the right things in your own time.

i've seen enough evil in men to smell it on the ones who try to hide it inside.

closet cases love me.

close the door, sit down, and tell me everything.

your challenges are different, but no less legitimate.

it's not a lie if you live up to it, make it true.

neighbors are naturally curious about each other. you can ask me anything.

we're all adults here. we can't talk about sex?

you need to keep your inner smart-ass in check.

all the wrong people are dead.

you're an evil bastard, but you're not stupid.

don't punk out now.

you split on me.

it was your plan, and you left me holding the bag.

do you go around writing sad stories for everyone?

you got moxie, no doubt about that.

why'd you go through with it?

do you do whatever you're ordered to do?

what keeps driving you? what keeps you from burning out?

i don't know what makes you tick. what's your selfish goal?

i just want to wake up one morning and feel like a good person.

when death decides to come for you, it's out of your hands.

you don't have to admit i'm right. i already know i am.

how do you keep going?

how much are they paying you to torture me with this nonsense?

women feel the need because they see a need.

you're a sweetheart, i can tell.

since when do you back down from a fight?

goodie, i love long stories. tell it to me.

i wasn't prepared to like you so damn much.

don't promise anything. i like surprises.

what am i walking into?

good intentions will not sustain you.

i'd say 'no offense taken', but i really mean 'fuck you'.

it is difficult for the young to understand the structures of the past.

i'm too poor to be a smart-ass.

you've got a lot going for you.

no one takes their principles to work with them.

i can't afford to indulge my grief.

i haven't cried yet.

i'm glad you weren't alone.

do you wish you'd done more?

there isn't much time left to save you.

the law doesn't apply to law enforcement.

i'm not even convinced 'better' is possible.

this is a hell of a time to joke, even for you.

keep your eye on the sparrow, not the lost lamb.

i didn't realize i was meant to chase after you.

let's have a real conversation for once.

your life will improve tenfold the day you learn to listen.

pick a story, any story, that you can accept. and move on.

i've made it my business to learn how to read you.

i'm trying to be a hero, but what if i'm a villain?

villains never stop to consider that they did anything wrong.

you caught feelings for a mark.

'sorry' would mean i'd do it differently, and i wouldn't.

you'll land on your feet. you always do.

#rp meme #rp memes #sentence starters #ask memes #inbox memes #ask meme #lgbt #historical meme

[revvethasmythh]

I’m I the only one who doesn’t like how Imogen has been treating fcg lately? It feels like she’s trying to tell them not to worship the changebringer and if I’m remembering correctly she said something along those lines last night. I don’t know. I feel like fcg has found some kind of guidance-ish/path and wants to follow but Imogen and some of the hells are telling him not to. And just being unfair to him and not really understanding or trying to understand where their coming from.

I don't think you're wrong, necessarily, anon, but I do think it's complicated. On a personal level, did I say out loud "Imogen stop being a dick to his god" at least once last night watching? Yeah, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have personal reasons for feeling negatively toward the Changebringer specifically, in addition to what seems to be her overall thought that the gods have never done anything for her, so why should she like or support them anyway? (Incidentally, I do get frustrated at this sort of attitude because, like. they're gods. generally speaking, the traditional transaction here is that you have faith in them and then they help you. So maybe try faith before you write them off completely? But that's a whole other conversation). But I suspect her dislike of the Changebringer stems from the same place Fearne's apparent (but less openly combative) opinions come from--Laudna's death. It was the Changebringer's coin that chose Orym to live and Laudna to die. I would not at all be surprised if there was a personal grudge there in addition to Imogen's aforementioned attitude re: the gods kicking up dust.

Also, Imogen is kind of just like this when people in the group do things or believe in things that she personally doesn't understand or agree with. She's a grudge holder (how many times has she gotten on Chetney's ass for keeping the money that one time? Didn't she even do it again this episode and Chetney was like "girl stop, I have paid my way plenty since then"?) and she really gets frustrated when people do things she doesn't agree with. Others have said it somewhat recently, but it may be connected to Imogen's difficulty empathizing with others. Which is an interesting character flaw, but I will agree it can be frustrating specifically in this scenario, where FCG is clearly kind of flailing about trying to figure out what being a person is and what being religious looks like and what role worship is going to have in their life. It's a little like watching a baby penguin take a few tottering steps only to get knocked on its ass by an adult. Because imo the only way FCG is going to figure this out is by letting him do his thing, no matter how nonsensical or stupid his methods might look to Imogen or the rest of the group. He's got growing to do with what religion will look like in his life and he has to find his own way through that, which I think frustrates Imogen because it's imperfect and clumsy and it's the gods and it's the Changebringer specifically and can't everyone just be rational for once? The gods aren't rational. Faith isn't rational. It's her flaws bumping up against FCG's, causing friction. And yeah, it's frustrating at times, but it's also a pretty interesting insight into both of their characters.

#anon #asks #cr spoilers #imogen temult #fresh cut grass #don't ask me why I used a penguin simile the image of it just popped into my head and it was funny lmfao #critical role

[sapphire-weapon]

I don't know how to say this kindly, but each and every Aeon take I see is from somebody with utterly zero literacy skills. It's shocking. Their opinions and analysis can only be explained by either A) they're 13 or B) they don't consume anything at all outside of cheesy videogames. It's the same shit with a whole lot of Leon stans too.

Note: I'm really not trying to be a bitch, but for the love of god, do not take your analysis opinions from TIKTOK. Do not do that. Form your own perception from canon material first. Then take every online review with a grain of salt and compare it to what you've found and what significant people within the making of said material have to say. God, I genuinely don't want to be mean, I just don't know how else to say it.

You said it before and I somewhat agree, anyone who cares about Ada as a character doesn't ship Aeon. I'm gonna add on to that by saying anybody with any level of capability to understand who she is, her arc, personality and holds a minor interest in any future appearances, does not ship it. OG Ada was... nothing. Just a couple of easy tropes tied up into a vessel. No arc. No known motivation. The fact they've decided to take her on again and WRITE HER for arguably the first time (lol) should be celebrated.

I'm gonna tack on a boiling hot take here, but both OG and Remake are so incompatible that it's impossible for Ada to exist with any worthy script while skipping around and fluttering her eyelashes at him. It's nonsensical. Leon is also completely robbed of any meaningful cathartic arc while just... ignoring her crimes because she shared one trauma with him and has nice legs. No we won't elaborate. That's what OG gave us.

Why are these people so LOUD in fandom spaces? I can name three shows this year that ended and pulled the worst takes imaginable, that I still have a hard time believing came from grown adults who watched them.

they're all people who get a superiority complex about being "right" -- so if they ship the canon ship, that makes them Objectively Right and no one really has any room to tell them that they're wrong. it really has nothing to do with the ship itself and everything to do with being on the "winning" team. it's mass tribalism and a desire to lord status over others. in an alternate universe where cleon won out as endgame, all those people would be cleon stans. i promise.

but there's one thing that you can use that objectively proves that OG and remake are two different timelines. i've never seen an aeon person (or anyone) refute this in a way that matters; pretty much every time i pull this out, whoever i'm talking to has to take the L.

operation javier.

krauser, much more than ada, is proof that OG and remake are incompatible as stories. unless someone really wants to try to say that OG krauser trained OG leon, in which case you go "bitch when" and point out the fact that krauser and leon did not know each other in OG until operation javier, and krauser faked his death immediately after.

[extasiswings]

Ok I need your big brain, do you think that maybe talking with eddie will make buck understand that he can’t be a father and walk away? or he will be rejected to be a donor for family history or whatever and Eddie’ ll be there to pick up the pieces? I think I’ll prefer option 1, so I hope that buck decides for himself, but what do you think?😘

Honestly, I think right now it's looking like he's not going to talk to Eddie about this at all and they're primed for it to blow up in their faces (as I said in another post, really not unlike Hen and Karen right now, with Hen making decisions that are going to impact not just her but her family without talking to her wife). The way the episode framed it was that this is a secret. Yes, he did ultimately go to Hen for her advice, but he's very deliberately not talking about certain things with certain people and not listening even when those conversations happen (like blowing off Maddie's thoughts about his "year of yes" or whatever, theoretically musing on Hen's question about whether he can walk away but then agreeing anyway). See also, the foreshadowing of Buck on the bike, charging off without a word, and Eddie shouting after him "Where the hell are you going?" Because Buck's going off down a path that Eddie can't see or understand and Buck's not saying a word.

I also do think he'll end up being rejected as a donor, or otherwise not following through in a way that's related to the Daniel of it all (as opposed to something that makes his withdrawal voluntary). I totally understand and respect the desire to want to see Buck set healthy boundaries for himself and say no on his own for healthy reasons, and I'll be perfectly content if I'm proven wrong, but I genuinely don't think that Buck's there yet.

Because Buck does not set real boundaries even when things are hurting him. He spent nearly a year in a relationship with Taylor that was making him miserable, trying to force himself to accept the things he didn't like about her, changing himself rather than setting a boundary, accepting that he fundamentally cannot compromise on certain things, and ultimately ending things. That took a year. And frankly, with all the self-help nonsense he's ingesting, there is nothing about the path he’s currently on that is going to help him get to a point of being able to set the boundaries he needs to and learn to say no to things that are harmful to him.

And here's the thing. These writers are so intentional and so good at telling difficult, adult stories about trauma and healing. And they are consistent. They have made clear with so many other characters, Athena, Maddie, Eddie, (and Bobby, Hen, and Chim on somewhat lesser scales), that when you ignore and avoid your trauma instead of facing it, you will hurt yourself and the people around you and you will not be able to make the healthy decisions you need to for your life.

Buck is not facing his trauma. Buck got a little bit of therapy, washed his hands, and said he was all good (including with his parents). But Buck has massive issues, as we've all seen over the seasons. And Buck’s lack of self-worth, his feelings of expendability, his inability to set boundaries—those are all intrinsically linked to his root trauma—Daniel, the “spare parts”/“defective parts” of it all that was revealed in What's Your Grievance/Buck Begins but that Buck has never actually reckoned with in a meaningful way. And until he does, he cannot achieve any sort of meaningful healing and growth.

It's like the hotel walkway that collapsed at the Happiness Convention. They identified the problem, but never made the repairs, so years later it finally gave out. That’s the story they’re telling. That's Buck. (Similarly with the birdwatcher and the tree, the thinking it's fine to get close to something because it seems harmless now, only for something to shift so that now you're being crushed under it without warning).

The Daniel of it all needs to come up again, because otherwise Buck will simply keep ignoring it. And as painful as this storyline is, it's also a perfect vehicle for that, particularly after they went to the trouble of giving us Maddie in Dumb Luck (really only about 8 episodes ago) talking/worrying about whether she should have had children at all because of their family medical history. I don't see a way where it doesn't come up, and that's why I also think it has to relate to Buck ultimately not going through with it, whether because he's rejected by the parents after they find out, or because a doctor tells him he shouldn't (or can't), or something to that effect.

[Related to Buck not setting boundaries or talking about things that hurt him, I've mentioned before that he's misunderstood Eddie and Christopher and the will entirely, but he's also never acknowledged that, and so Eddie's out here thinking he made Buck his partner and co-parent as a sign of his love while Buck feels like he's just a fallback and not a real father and is sitting in that space of feeling miserable about it. So in that sense, in his mind this donation maybe doesn't feel all that different to what he's doing with them. And while him learning that lesson (that he already is a father, that his family is right there) is part of his journey, I think he still has a ways to go before he'll be able to see that, especially if he continues hiding things from Eddie and therefore not giving him the chance to clarify anything].

#chapel talks #ask #anonymous #911 spoilers #these writers are so good I'm obsessed

[female-malice]

I read somewhere Dworkin supports incest, bestiality and sex between adults and children.

Now I haven't read her complete work so idk if those quotes are taken out of context or something. I can't fully say anything with surety as I have not read all of her work.

So please tell me if there are any myths around this.

It's real. Dworkin had a post modernism phase. She contributed to the ivory tower post modernism primordial soup that eventually morphed into queer theory. That's why she echoed ideas from Simone De Beauvoir, Michel Foucault, and Judith Butler.

What you need to understand about Dworkin is she's an incredible writer but she had no original ideas or moral grounding. She adopted whatever ideas were in vogue in whatever academic circle she wandered into. And then she took those ideas and clarified them and wrote them in an easily digestible way. That's useful. She's a good communicator. And sometimes she used that power for good. And sometimes she used it to amplify fucked up ideas.

When she spent time in radical feminist and anti-pornography circles, she clarified those ideas. She produced easily digestible writing on those topics that many people reblog on radblr. That's the writing most people on here know her for. But she wasn't the first woman to think of any of those ideas she wrote about. She was just the first to write it in that clear, direct, no-nonsense style.

Then, when she spent time in political lesbian circles, she clarified those ideas. And she wrote a lot of stupid homophobic things.

Then she wandered into post modernism and clarified those ideas. And she wrote a bunch of fucked up shit that directly contradicted a lot of what she'd written previously.

I don't put Dworkin on a pedestal. Writing and clarifying new ideas was just an academic exercise to her. She never really stood for anything or developed ideas of her own. There's nothing wrong with being a communicator who promotes other peoples' ideas with writing talent. But usually people who do that try to stay within one school of thought. Dworkin seemed to get bored quickly and she was always looking for the newest hottest academic ideas.

[ahundredtimesover]

Okay firstly, wow. Mimi the way Jungkook redresses OC's bandage, it's so domestic and cute. And how they're both vulnerable to each other (Jungkook especially since it's the first time), it's so sweet and it's actually something that happens in real life..

I love how realistic this whole fic is mimi. 1) They sleep on TWO beds and not on one like how it goes in most stories/dramas/movies. 2) OC does not end up wearing Jungkook's sweatshirt and she wears other actual clothes. 3) The owners of the guesthouse don't automatically assume they are a couple and how one person addresses Jungkook as OC's friend to her. I love thisss. Mimi you're giving us such nice butterfly-inducing scenes that are not only REALISTIC but also when both OC and Jungkook are PROFESSIONAL. The way Jungkook and OC both know they're attracted to each other and they both want to seek eachother's company but refrain from doing so because they know it's not professional and they have to stay in their limits, that's really nice mimi. And also how OC acknowledges the crush she has on Jungkook and tries to act on it like an actual mature adult.

And let's not forget that teeeenyyy bit of jealousy Jungkook felt and acknowledged when Jimin and OC hug

Maybe it's only me thinking this way mimi, but isn't OC always on the recieving end when it comes to her friends? I mean yes, she's not as free as Jimin and Soomin but what about Yoongi? Yes, OC is kind and understanding to Jungkook, but (correct me if I'm wrong) she also did accept to Yoongi that she does this because it's also beneficial to her, right? Maybe it's not mentioned in the fic because the plot focuses on Jungkook and OC's relationship but I really am curious to know how OC is her friends..

And I'm saying this again coz of how you told you literally had to ask people on how they should give a chance to The Light of Dead Stars. That fic is literally my most favourite fic of all time 🩷 It's just so beautiful and how it's with Jin and how it also shows OC's feelings' transition from Namjoon to Jin 🩷🩷

I love it so much mimi🩷🩷🩷

I'm waiting to re-read it once I'm done-done with my exams

Okkk I’m back to asks and I’m sorry this is late but I remember being so happy when I read this! ☺️ As for that whole guesthouse scene - yes, I didn’t go with the usual bc I didn’t feel like it was time, and I’m glad it’s something you appreciate bc there’s also something intimate with a two-bed situation?? And ok, with all the tension, there’s bound to be some butterfly-inducing moments bc they’re honestly so cute about their feelings (savor this) 🤭

As for your question regarding OC as a friend… yes, it seems like she’s always on the receiving end especially with Jimin and Soomin who drive to her, treat her, are affectionate to her. But she’s the type of person that people like being around bc of the emotional safety she provides - as I got older, I learned that this is an important yet underrated aspect of any relationship. Yoongi told her once that she gives comfort to people, and her friends feel this. Jimin and Soo are rich socialites who also deal with alot of stress and drama but they let all that go with OC. They’re themselves with her, and she doesn’t push them away. Yoongi has a no-nonsense attitude but she doesn’t judge him; he’s introverted and she doesn’t force him to socialize or anything. He didn’t want their friendship to change and she didn’t let it. There’s something welcoming about her. She can’t offer much of the material things but there’s safety in her presence, and that’s what Jungkook has realized, too. And that’s what I love about her. They’re all subtle since she’s not a grand person, but the care is truly felt by the other person.

And yay, another TLODS enthusiast 🥹🥹 I’m so happy you loved it! I think it’s my one fic where neither one of them started with feelings for the other, like it organically just happened hehe THANK YOU.

And thank you for this. This was such a lovely message 💕💕 I hope you’re well, anon!

#mimianswers #fic: iwyts #re: tlods

[104thsquadfam]

good morning. happy/tragic to report that i woke up still wearing my "thinking about the porco + reiner (+ marcel) dynamic" clown shoes. i don't have any specific questions (yet?). this ask is just me dragging you into the trenches of my nonsense and giving you a space to share any thoughts and feelings you might have about reiner's dynamic with / feelings towards both porco, and marcel.

-You call it tragic but I love seeing you on my dash and inbox, sharing your random little thoughts with me LOL. Ho boy my feelings towards Porco, Marcel and Reiner's little dynamic? Well I'd be happy to share my little HC's about their dynamic but not at all canon so take it with a grain of salt.

Reiner Braun + Porco Galliard:

As a kid Reiner and Porco definitely didn't get along with one another, always at each others throats any chance they got which made training a bit tense. Reiner always tried to one-up Porco by attempting to prove him wrong, show that he would be a better Warrior than he ever could. Porco teased Reiner any chance he got to get on his nerve or make him cry to put Reiner in his place. However when Reiner got picked to be the armored titan he took this as a chance to rub everything in Porco's face completely unaware that it was Marcel who convinced their superiors to give him the armored instead of his brother.

As adults Porco still resents Reiner but by this point in his life Reiner could care little about what Porco thinks of him, he could careless what anyone thinks of him as he's far to focused on what he's done. Porco can poke and prod at him but he just won't give him the reaction he usually would have and instead will agree with most of what Porco says....yes, maybe if Porco had gotten the armored titan things would have been different, maybe Marcel would still be alive but there was no changing the past now and he'd just have to live with that guilt.

Reiner Braun + Marcel Galliard:

As a kid Reiner never really got into fights with Marcel but would often get lectured about his behavior towards Porco. Porco himself received these same lectures. Marcel was more of a mediator between the two trying to keep the peace and get them to work together like a team....it's safe to say that never really happens but he still tried his best....if only to not hear them shouting at one another in the same room. Marcel is the one who often had to break up fights between Porco and Reiner and he's the reason Reiner got the armored titan and would apologize to Reiner for what he's done even if at the time Reiner didn't really understand why he was apologizing to him...he would later.

Reiner looked up to Marcel, he always admired how much of a natural leader he was and in some way he wanted to be just like him. They weren't related but he did see him as a brother figure often times asking Marcel for help with training or class assignments of which he was more than happy to help Reiner with.

Despite Marcel being the only reason he got the armored titan, Reiner holds no grudges against him and if he could he would go back and save him.

#devoteyrheart #ooc #me being slow to respond #no neeever

[vermillioncrown]

Christ. Our BFF ZYX gets to punch WWX and also gets to fuck off to somewhere else and instead of a good time it's a motherfucking business conference where instead of learning shit you have to pander to your CEO? and they didn't even get to enjoy the punch. Even Xania-hellscape has to have SOME good parts, lord. This is terrible. Give Yuxun hot cocoa, a blanket, and a panic room.

unfortunately zyx lives in a Society, and the only good parts of this society is the lack of student loans, very dodge-able taxes, and magic sword fighting. chocolate is not in asia yet (let's ignore the chili thing yeah? yeah. that's not my sin, soooo) and panic room = seclusion in a cave

=

they couldn't even punch wwx, let alone have something to enjoy

=

they'll get some stuff to use as coping mechanisms next ch. is it better? eh. but a salad will be involved, and nothing cleanses like a nice, simply dressed, vegetable going cronch.

=

in seriousness, all these things are related. here, we see zyx in compute-error mode, where their mind wants one thing (maybe?) and their habits and survival mindset isn't letting them have it.

another is the implicit discussion on obligation, and what that means to me (aka zyx, and other people of in-between cultures). it might seem... nonsensical how zyx basically makes life difficult for themself, like "motherfucker you have two legs and a sword and you don't need to eat, just walk away?!?"

it's weird, growing up between an individualistic culture and collective one. to an extreme, neither are good. one thing that i can honestly admit that stunted me (and as a result, zyx is clearly Demonstrating) is the fear/inability to ask for help or that they can't do a thing, or negotiate obligations. obligations aren't bad--in like, how you can reasonably expect people will give you right of way on the street, or you should be respectful in public spaces, parents should care for their kids, etc etc--it helps people coexist. however, in a collectivist culture, in one with as high-context of a language as chinese, directly negotiating what obligations you can or want to handle (even if that negotiation will net benefits for everyone) is like if someone peed in your coffee at the coffee shop. you'd be baffled because "did that really happen?" "i don't have the operating procedures for this edge case of a social interaction, of which this barely qualifies"

what makes it more frustrating, to both the reader and myself (and if it's frustrating, then good i'm conveying it), is that zyx clearly has the vocabulary to identify their problem. (contrast with jzx, in which there was a throwaway line in earlier chs + his current frustrations where he doesn't have that vocab, doesn't understand, and gets even more frustrated because it feels like everything is wrong but no one notices.) but what can't be completely done is me showing you guys how disjoint that vocabulary is in both of zyx's 'native' languages. one set of vocabulary developed with one type of interaction and culture, and the other with another type. and they don't have the excuse of childhood bluntness and naivete to allow them to bulldoze through social interactions because that's the whole everything of them being an adult and hyper-cognizant of how they don't belong, needing to navigate carefully rather than other flavors of SIs/OCs that are teens and kids and really do act like that.

things matter, in a very specific way, to zyx and that's why given where they are in this life, it's never gonna be a stress-free fun time.

... unless they become sect leader in the future after things are truly peaceful (for this generation, at least)

then they can justify telling people, "this one is taking paid leave" ✌

"... huzi we don't get paid?"

#on dbd #inquiry #Anonymous #ch 20 is in no way the climax of the fic but it is def the boiling point for a lot of points i've been poking at in earlier chapters #the little bits of seriousness that zyx tries to gloss over with humor or understatements or sarcasm #like i never want my writing to be an Angst Fest even when talking serious shit #but it's always been serious and a very honest what-if. and if i'm anything it's fucking pedantic and anal-retentive about details