#noukeeeh

[capseycartwright]

Happy birthday!!!!!

thank you friend! 💕

#in which i ramble #asks #noukeeeh

[weaver-z]

The trampstamps looked at the gaslight gatekeep girlboss gaybait slogan and was like: yeah... we need to do all of those

LITERALLY and then they failed at all of them

#ask #noukeeeh

[evakuality]

DAVENZI ANGST DAVENZI ANGST DAVENZI ANGST 8 or 15 from the prompt list pretty please😘

Hi 💜 Thanks for this prompt.  I don’t usually do very well with angst and I’m not sure this even really counts as angst either.  But it’s not really fluff so maybe it’ll do!  This is a sort of sequel to the previous ficlet I did from one of these prompts, but can be read alone as well.  

Grey days and Hoodies, part two

Matteo has cuddled down into the hoodie, settling it close and tight around himself.  It’s soft and warm, the inside just the right amount of fluffy to comfort rather than irritate.  Best of all it’s David’s.  Or it used to be, once upon a time when ownership had meaning.  Now they wear each other’s clothes with the same frequency as they wear their own, and everything’s all entangled.  Just like that movie David had recommended to Matteo all those months ago.  

The fact that it’s David’s is important, though.  In a bigger picture kind of way.  Today’s not been good.  In fact, yesterday wasn’t much good either.  And when he tries to think, Matteo can’t pinpoint the last time a day did feel good.  He doesn’t get into these funks too often anymore, when being with people is too much and it’s easier to be alone.

This one has slipped up on him, creeping in bit by bit.  First he chose not to go out somewhere with his friends once or twice.  Then, it just became easier to stay home more often than not.  Now it’s been so long since Matteo saw anyone socially apart from his flatmates that he can’t even pinpoint the last time he did anything you might consider fun.  

It’s not like he hasn’t been out; he’s been to work.  He’s talked and laughed with the people there.  There’s been a semblance of feeling social in those crucial places, where he has to expend energy to be.  Energy he’s always totally out of when he gets home, and so he curls up in his room, wrapped in a hoodie and doing as little as he can.  He hasn’t felt lonely, exactly.  The slow drift of his isolation has crept in without him really noticing he’s isolated.  Not noticing that he’s bored.

Until now, when he’s wrapped up in David’s hoodie and doesn’t feel like doing anything else.  Weed maybe.  Except he can’t even be bothered to get up to find any, not even to make the boredom and all the swirling mess of his thoughts more bearable.  So he lies, arms tucked in under his armpits, hoodie clutched tight to his body and his mind drifting.

It could be minutes later, or hours.  The door creaks, the squeaky hinge that’s been bothering him for the last few weeks screeching in a way that hurts his ears.  He squints, eyes cracking against the sudden glare of the overhead light as someone flicks it on.

He squeezes them shut again, blinking away the water that pools in the corners as they try to adjust to the unaccustomed glare.  At least that’s what he tells himself.  He’s not sad, after all.  Just a little distanced.  There’s no reason why any water in his eyes would be anything other than a reaction to the suddenness of the light.  No reason why the sight of someone else slipping into the room might put a lump into Matteo’s throat and an ache into his chest.  

“Hey,” he hears a soft voice saying as David slips in behind him on the bed.  Arms slide in under his body and he’s pulled firmly back into David’s chest  “I missed you.”

Matteo keeps his eyes squeezed shut.  He doesn’t want to look at David right now.  Not when he’s like this, so listless and lacking energy.  Not when he has nothing to offer to someone like him.  There was a time when being with David could stave off these feelings, make Matteo feel alive and active.  There was a time when the newness and intrigue of the thing with David was enough to break through any apathy Matteo might have been feeling.  But today that’s not true.  Today, Matteo is not in a space where he can feel anything much at all.  

He feels fingers sliding into his hair, brushing it away from his exposed ear.  Then lips press a small kiss onto the edge of that ear, and David’s voice murmurs little endearments too softly for Matteo to even understand any of them.  But he can tell it’s filled with love, all the things David is saying.  It’s all there in the tone of the voice and the comfort of his touch.  

Part of Matteo feels like that shouldn’t be for him, that it shouldn’t be up to David to break into this funk this way.  Part of him wants to pull away and hide, to reject all this care and attention because someone as messed up as he is doesn’t deserve any of it.  He doesn’t let that part win, though.  Because alongside all of those feelings is the feeling that it’s nice having David here.  It’s nice to be held.  It’s nice to feel loved again.

“Nobody’s seen you in days,” David mutters eventually.  This time he’s loud enough to be heard.  Loud enough for Matteo to know that it’s important to David to say this.  Under the soft quiet of the words, Matteo can hear the pain.  He’s not saying it, but it seems like David has been worried.  Or hurt.  Or both.

A stab of guilt stings Matteo, sending hot shame flashing fire into his chest and trickling out until it tingles into his fingers and down his legs.  It’s not just himself anymore.  When he feels like this and all he wants is to lie on his bed with weed hanging out of his mouth and his eyes fixed on nothing in particular, he can’t just opt out of the world anymore.  He has a someone, a someone who worries.  A someone who doesn’t deserve such a selfish boyfriend.

He sighs, curls more tightly in on himself.

“I’m sorry.”

Those lips brush his ear again, soft and warm and sending a pleasant tingle through Matteo, the first thing to really broach the fog he’s found himself in.  It’s too much for an asshole like Matteo and he tries not to let himself enjoy it.  But he can’t resist.  

“What are you sorry for.”

The voice is soft and patient.  Matteo shrugs, an aborted lift of his shoulder.  Or as much as he can in the confines he’s squished himself down into.  “Everything.”

“That’s a lot to be sorry for.”

There’s fondness in that voice, amusement.  Again part of Matteo wants to recoil, because it pulls up a savage bubbling anger that someone, that David, thinks this is funny.  But the other part, the one that was soothed by the presence of David’s love, knows that thought is an asshole, and uncharitable to boot, and manages to shove it aside before he says something shitty and awful.

“You know what I mean.”

“Actually I don’t.”  

There’s still a hint of that amusement, but overwhelming it is the fondness.  David’s hand slips around to run gentle circles on Matteo's hand where it’s clutching tightly onto his hoodie, the string curled around two fingers.  Little by little David’s fingers press into the spaces between Matteo’s, and little by little they unfurl the tight hold he has on the fabric of the hoodie and move to settle into David’s hand.

It almost distracts Matteo enough that he forgets that he’s feeling like shit.  Those fingers, questing with a sure, comforting firmness, say something to Matteo.  They speak of someone who’s not giving up, who will work through any barriers Matteo might try to put up, quietly and patiently, but without aggression.

“I’m sorry I disappeared,” he says as a way of thanking David for taking the time to persist with him.

There’s so much more to be said, so much more nuance this apology demands.  But Matteo’s tired, wrung out even though he’s been doing nothing, with no energy left to try to articulate any of it.  So none of it gets said.

David seems to understand anyway.

“We’ve been a bit concerned,” he says, playing with Matteo’s fingers.  Brushing against the soft fabric of the hoodie under his hand, giving warmth along with the soothing touch.  “I hoped you’d contact me.”

Matteo avoids the implicit question.  He’s not sure how to tell the person he loves most that he’d forgotten how to live and connect and be.  That he’d forgotten how to communicate.  Instead he focuses on another part of the comment.  “We?”

With a sigh, as if he can tell that Matteo is avoiding that part, David says, “Jonas, the other boys.  Laura.” he huffs out a small laugh.  “Hanna even called me.”

Matteo lets his breath out in a rush, another bright flash of guilt flooding him as he thinks of how he’s affected all his friends.  “That’s a lot of people.”

“Mmmmm,” David agrees.  

There’s silence for a long time then, until Matteo eventually finds himself relaxing, his body uncurling a little more as David's presence has its usual effect.  He’s not sure why he’s been out of contact even with David.

“I’m sorry I didn’t contact you,” he says quietly, feeling that ache in his chest again and the pump clogging his throat.  “I… didn’t even notice what I was doing.  It was work and home, work and home.”

He’s feeling fragile, all his emotions so close to the surface that it’s hard to admit even this much.  Again, David seems to understand that, because all he does is drop Matteo’s hand in order to pull him in more closely.

“Are you okay?” David asks, his breath warm against Matteo’s neck..

There have been times when Matteo has shrugged this type of question off with a small shrug and a laugh, doing his best to minimise everything he’s been feeling.  But it’s David, so he can’t do it.

“I don’t know,” he admits.  “I didn’t notice it was days.  It didn’t feel like days.”

“I figured.”

David pulls on Matteo’s hoodie, a quiet hint for him to turn around so they can look at each other.  He does after a moment, leaving the security of having his back pressed up against David.  It takes a moment for him to be able to look up and into David’s eyes.  There’s too much shame in the way he’s been acting, too much shame in how he’s unwittingly kept David out.

But when he does meet David’s eyes, all Matteo sees is affection.  There’s none of the condemnation he’s been pouring over himself, and he has to close his eyes again to avoid letting any of that water pooling in his eyes to trickle out.  

“I love you,” David whispers, presses their foreheads together.  “All your friends love you.  You’re not some fucked up vampire, and you don’t have to be alone.  I’m here.  I want to be here.”

Matteo’s lips twitch a little as he hears the memory of his own words, angry and aggressive, echoing through the empty pool they were standing in.  As ridiculous as it might seem, that thought helps a little.  Because what they have isn’t always nice and sweet. It isn’t always perfect.  Sometimes it’s frustrating, sometimes it might be angry.  Sometimes he’ll fuck up and think he’s messed it all up.

But what it always is, is the two of them.  Matteo still feels like shit, still has no way to fully articulate everything he’s been feeling, but the connected part of him feels better, the part that had warmed ti david’s presence even while feeling he didn’t deserve his affection.  That part’s grateful that they have their thing here.  That they can be together in this way, that David can call him out on things like, remind him to do some living even if it’s hard.  That none of that negates the affectionate parts.

He can’t say any of that, as clogged up and messed up and listless as his brain has been today.

So all Matteo does is snuggle a little closer, brushing his nose onto David’s, feels his arms wrap around him more securely, pressing the soft fluffiness of the hoodie more tightly against his body.  He smiles, for the first time today.

“I love you too,” he manages.  It’s not enough, doesn’t adequately express everything Matteo wants to say.  But it’s all he has.

For now, it’ll have to do.  For now, it’s what he has.

#druck #my fic stuff #my ask stuff #my prompt stuff #noukeeeh

[unculturedswiine]

 Replying in a separate post because i started to ramble. sorry.

I think instances like those were always happening. And i think you were totally right when you said none of us really know what’s going on. In my opinion, I don’t think they ever stopped talking or being friends in the very least and if things are the way they are in my head I think feelings are still there so that would explain them being so close. that would explain rings and matching tattoos and conversational match ups. But I really think they just know that it’s not something that will work. For whatever reason and I just know there is so much more to it than any of us can understand. Just because they are people and people are super complicated.

I don’t doubt that there is love there and that at some level they wish they could be together and want to drop it all and go. But I think that they also truly love the people they are with now and that’s totally possible to happen and I think that adds another layer that makes their whole story so pretty.

But yeah. i could literally go on for days about this but i wont. Everyone is totally entitled to their own theory. This one is just mine and it also fits into the whole universe I have created in my head that I like getting lost in. Everything in there is melancholy at best.

#noukeeeh #ziam

[thickskinandelasticheart]

Hello love! i was wondering what you mean by muslim but not religious? I'm a little lost here and Google isn't giving me answers haha. Hope you can help xx

Heyyy hun! Yeah ofcrs no worries.

So what I mean was, there’s a lot of people who are muslims but not practicing. As in they believe in Allah, but don’t necessarily follow all the rules/rituals in Islam. They might not pray or fast, and might drink alcohol or eat pork etc. 

In my own family for example, we have a lot of religious diversity. My sister doesn’t always pray or wear the hijab, but I do. Some of my cousins drink, some kiss their bfs, some are stricter than me. But we all identify as muslims even if the way we practice our religion varies greatly.

being non religious but muslim is completely different from being an atheist altogether which is why I have hope for Amira and Mohammed

Hope that helped dear, and if you have any more questions please don’t hesitate to ask!

#noukeeeh #answered

[lonelyyvampire]

ask!!! her!!! out!!!

Anonymous said: ask her out while it's still 20BITEEN!!!

AAHHH I want to so bad but like... please don't think bad of me I haven't officially broken up with my boyfriend but we haven't seen each other in months and barely talk so I feel like we aren't even really together...

But I really do wanna ask her out I'm just kdkrfjdjsjsja

#answered #anonymous #noukeeeh

[whenziamwere18]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE!!! I know getting older is weird but hey, you got this and being a human is lovely through all stages of life!! also! amazing that you've made it this far already wow!! enjoy your day xxx

Thanks so much nou 🥺🥺 I love you and yes it’s weird but also amazing tbh :,)

#noukeeeh #love you :‘)

[missandrogyny]

one time i was camping out like 500miles from where i live bc we were like doing a cycle home camp but i was literally dying bc i despised cycling and for some reason everybody stopped paying attention to where we were going but then we somehow cycled 90km instead of 45km literally twice as much??

This same camp we were at some location in a diff country and we like, stole? one of those poles telling you that there's like a gas pipe underneath (aka v important) and we like pulled it out and took it and then at another location we left it outside our tent and then.....

it became night and we decided to steal actual traffic signs 😶😝 to which we his in our tent, but the owner of the location like heard of the stolen traffic signs and saw the pole near our tent so he called the police and we like had to lie to them that it was only the pole we stole and very much not the traffic signs hidden in our tent lmao and then they believed us and took the pole away and told us to find and pick up another one later sksksksksk

also this one time I was cycling home from a party w some guys I like kinda knew and then suddenly one stopped his bike, stepped off and said: "what would happen if I just cuddled this bush" and as he said that he literally layed down in the bush next to the road??? and his friend like got off as well and did the same thing???

and another time it was like 5am and I was bringing this guy home bc he was very drunk and then we were like I guess halfway there? on the middle of a roundabout he suddenly got off my bike and just said "I'm home now" and let himself fall backwards into a bush??? and we were like!!no!! go to bed?? it was v funny lmao

i’m SCREAMING why is it when you cycle things happen 😂 what did you do with the traffic signs??? please dont tell me you brought it home and currently keep it in your room? that’s so hilarious please

also noooooo what is it with the boys and the bushes im actually laughing so hard right now 😭did he think the bush was his bed??? are bushes comfortable??? what about the road next to the bush????? god the pre-corona days when everyone could just be unhinged, i miss it and this is hilarious thank you so much 

#asks #noukeeeh

[henryandalex]

The worst party is is that you know there's gonna be a conversation before and after they kiss on that balcony; which hasn't happened before and I am NOT READY FUCK NO

Listen, I am living for Malec having these kind of honest and healthy conversations. The one on the balcony in 2x01 where they reconnected? Or those in 2x05 and 1x13 even though these were kinda sader but so so important?

I mean don’t get me wrong I love seeing these two idiots sharing kisses and all (and I will totally lose my chill tonight, lbr) but I adore it when they talk about things. This is so important and you basically never see a couple on tv having these talks. Besides, you fall in love with a person when you get to know them. And this doesn’t really happen through kisses. But through talking and seeing… oh yes, we click, we have the same values and want this to work. So let’s do that.

(Talking about that, imagine that conversation when Magnus might show Alec his cat eyes. Consider me dead. Bye.)

#answered #noukeeeh #thanks for asking! #shadowhunters #malec #a couple on tv having honest conversations #a healthy relationship #and acting like adults #wow is christmas and easter on one day??? #i cannot believe this #sh spoilers #otp: look what i have waiting for me

[maybeasalways]

Catching up on tag games

I'm a bit late doing those so i decided to do two in one post (inspired by @cupcakentea).

A million thank yous to @wallsuperiority who keeps tagging me even tho it takes me weeks to post (i appreciate you sm) and to the beautiful @cupcakentea (i love you).

Get to know me tag

3 ships: deamus from HP but other than that im boring i don’t really have that much non canon ships. i used to be really into drarry but i’ve always loved hinny more. Also i like the idea of supercorp even tho ive never watched supergirl. 

Last song i’ve listened to: i listened to Commander in Chief by Demi Lovato this morning. Can definitely apply to a lot of “commanders” in this day and age lmao i wanna scream.

Currently craving: sleep and apple pie. Also fries. 

Last movie: The old guard. WATCH IT. It’s so so good, it has everything.

Currently reading: Les Brutes en blanc (Martin Winckler). It’s about (roughly) medical abuse in France, how it’s enabled and how to protect yourself from it.

17 questions

nicknames: Kat and Clarinet but don’t i hate them! I’d love something like “C” or “K” tho.

zodiac: capricorn

height: 158cm

hogwarts house: hufflepuff

last thing i googled: DME (baby-led weaning) ha! guess what im studying this year

song stucked in my head: Ne reviens pas (gradur) (sorry)

number of folllowers: a little more than 400

amount of sleep: today it’s 5, usually around 7 hours

lucky number: 15!

dream job: i don’t wanna work ever but also if i could be a writer AND be paid to work in lgbt+ youth centers i won’t be complaining.

wearing: pants and a blanket

favourite song: no <3

favourite instrument: piano or harp

aesthetic: hoodies, the rain, hot chocolate and warm blankets.

favourite author: searching for them

favourite animal noise: that noise cats do sometimes when you start petting them

random: i want to visit Scotland, have a garden and children someday.

I’ll tag (if you haven’t done it yet) @valarrie @deserthearts @nineteen-ninety-two @queerharry @noukeeeh @nobodyx-xcompares @hstylesbians @hazzabeeforlou @princesshalo and anyone who wanna do this (just tag me). Have a great day💕

#I’ll rewatch tog soon cause it's self care #tag games #long post #sorry it's long

[see5aw]

i was tagged by @possiamo-andare to spread some mutual appreciation

here it is in no particular order yall are great and everyone should follow these ppl ❤

@lumiousrabbit @unexciting-houseplant @dancing-in-the-rain54 @martythevampire @moodysailor @outoffashionworld @leavemeuntold @innovation-daughter @itsonlyburn @veciti-filozof @alecsandrathinks @l-i-f-e-g-o-e-s-o-n--theysay @beingnotseeming @eastmabon @potsexxual @skam-universes @no-off-topic-questions @forutuzzi @jackredfieldwasmyjacob @vampirejones @thatawkwardmichi @noukeeeh @aliensgay @hajarsbrown @nessauepa @decode333 @lindenmre @justshittyteenager  @worldsmightiestwitch @lucaslallemant-demaury @timmytozier @roxynami @myisakeven  @lilylupin @anniemurphy @na-klar @mlleberenice @miaundalex @tree77777 @itsnotabanditsanikea @lets0kill0tonight @cool-username-unavailable @that-one-gay-bitch69 @atravelingravenclaw @martythevampire

there’s actually more but i got bored also tumblr kept tagging kate so if you get more notifications sorryy

[evakuality]

5 & 24 for the druck memories ask pls?

I already did 5 😥 but here’s 24 for you:

Which clip made you realise that druck is special? Which clip made you commit to watching it?  Well, I kind of already answered the second part of this (it’s the party clip from s3 ep 3), but what made me realise it’s special was that one where Matteo sees David for the first time or the one where they talk for the first time.  It became obvious that they were playing with things in a way that I found really refreshing.  What I hadn’t enjoyed (among other things) about other remakes I’d caught bits of was that they were TOO close to the original clips (and if I’m entirely honest, the start of Druck made me feel this way too and I avoided it for a long time because of it).  So that clip and the way it all felt so similar to the original in tone and the way the acting etc worked just clicked something for me and I committed to tuning in at the end of the week.  Of course, then that party clip knocked me on my head and I started watching clip by clip with everyone else.

#druck #noukeeeh

[g3mston3]

i got tagged by @chaoticsuperstar! tysm!!!

Rules: list seven comfort movies and then tag seven people

1. Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (1983) dir. George Lucas

2. The Princess Bride (1987) dir. Rob Reiner

3. Tangled (2010) dir. Byron Howard, Nathan Greno

4. Love, Simon (2018) dir. Greg Berlanti

5. Wall-E (2008) dir. Andrew Stanton

6. Lady Bird (2017) dir. Greta Gerwig

7. Alice in Wonderland (1951) dir. Clyde Geronimi, Wilfred Jackson, Hamilton Luske

tagging @nova-on-standbi @shutuprichie @noukeeeh @xfulldreamerx @bookplush

since (as always) tagging doesn't seem to work for me, i'll probably do it in the comments!

#tag thing #it was such a struggle to decide between star wars movies lol

[ziamfanfiction]

Hello! I can't find the link to your master lists could you link me? (I'm on mobile)😘

Hi! Unfortunately our master list is still wonky and I've been trying to fix all of the links for the past few weeks.

The first half is fine but there's probably 100 more to go so the master list is down.

However our tags search works perfectly fine, is there a certain selection you were looking for? Maybe we can still help you find what you are looking for

#noukeeeh #k

[whenziamwere18]

Lovely @thank-u--next tagged me, thank you dear ❤️

Three ships: Ziam, Sterek, Drarry (and yoonkook but it only said 3 so 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Last song: savage love remix by Jason Derulo and BTS, Jungkook sounds sooo good and Yoongi damn

Last movie: Enola Holmes, very funny and interesting

Last book: in love with Adam by Liam Erpenbach, a nice and emotional book, definitely recommend it

I tag

@skinnyziamlove @zaynftsia @niallloverontheloose @blindedbyziam @noukeeeh @soloziamwillbetheendofme

And everyone who wants to do this ❤️

#tagging game #your *last* Game #tagging #bts #min yoongi #jeon jeongkook #yoonkook #teen wolf #sterek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #ziam #zayn malik #liam payne #one direction #harry potter #draco malfoy #drarry #otp #savage love #jason derulo #in love with Adam #Liam erpenbach #enola holmes #Books #Movies #Songs #so much fucking tagging #never tagged so much

[missandrogyny]

noukeeeh replied to your post “.”

haven't all his concerts been rescheduled

i thought it was only the mainland european ones????? like italy or germany or smth

#noukeeeh #replies #im going to manchester....tomlinson pls.....cancel manchester..... #i wouldve risked coronavirus 4 u but my parents disagreed w my choice