Tumgik
#oh meme accounts too
abyssaldyke · 5 months
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Happy Monday I'm being radicalized by not having a phone for 8 hours
5 notes · View notes
whereisshiki · 1 year
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Shiki Misaki should NOT be in Octopath Traveler!
(And why is she on her phone does she even get service here???)
11 notes · View notes
hegrowth · 4 months
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I've been in a bad headspace and I've seen other folks on the dash in a similar state of insecurity so like. just a reminder that if someone reblogs a positivity / validation prompt... they probably want / need to receive it. even just saying "I'm not good with words / I don't know you well / etc but I like xyz about you / your muse or notice abc or simply enjoy having you on my dash" etc etc etc can go a long way towards making people feel seen.
like if you can't take a moment to tell your mutuals that you like seeing them on your dash but can take a moment to reblog from the source... I'm not going to finish that thought because I don't have anything nice to say honestly
0 notes
planetpiastri · 7 days
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pairing: oscar piastri x fem!reader [no faceclaim] summary: you're a meme rapper with a cult following on youtube, and oscar is always in your comments, but it isn't until you release your first single that everyone puts two and two together. notes: this is one of the very first requests i ever received, and finally FINALLY it is done!! we are so back
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liked by oscarpiastri, patriciooward, and others
ynusername guys if i wrote a song about dino nuggets would you unfollow me be honest
view all 1,458 comments
username1 yeah
ynusername 😔
oscarpiastri no
ynusername 😁
username2 maybe
ynusername i'm getting mixed signals
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oscarpiastri
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liked by ynusername, landonorris, and 502,876 others
oscarpiastri Oscar goes outside: Japan edition
view all 8,482 comments
username3 you're not even outside in any of these pictures oscar what
landonorris who are we getting dinner with, young man? 🤨
oscarpiastri My mum 😊 landonorris yeah right
username4 omg any yn fans in the comments?? mother liked the post 👀
username5 yeah they follow each other lol i don't think they've ever met though username6 they've definitely interacted, but yeah i think they're just like online acquaintances haha
ynusername nice berries mate
oscarpiastri Thanks, I've heard that before
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liked by ynusername, oscarpiastri, and 251,876 others
mclaren Happy Birthday Oscar! 🥳
view all 7,654 comments
username7 guys why's oscar kinda...
username8 WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??
oscarpiastri 😁😁😁
ynusername happy birthday. oscarpiastri Ok that's a lot of negative energy please step back username9 help these interactions are always so random??
username10 oscar's waist looking SNATCHED omg
username11 guys is this a safe space for me to confess something?
landonorris no, keep it to yourself
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ynusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, and others
ynusername finally releasing a single woohoo!! 'bark bark' coming out april 19th on spotify and apple music ^-^
view all 1,874 comments
username12 OMG YESSSS
username13 WHAT YN THIS IS SO EXCITING!!!! CONGRATS!!!!!
oscarpiastri What's it about
ynusername you have to stream the song and find out silly oscarpiastri Is it about me ynusername oh my god
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ynusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and others
ynusername the type of face you'd go to war for (look past the camera, he's shy)
view all 2,054 comments
landonorris shucks, i'm blushing
ynusername i am so obviously not talking about you
username14 NEW MUSIC WHEN??
ynusername the single JUST came out CHILL!
username15 the last slide??
username16 new music hint? ynusername no that's just me talking about oscar and lando landonorris ....which one am i? ynusername i literally called you a slut nine times in suzuka username17 so oscar is lust???? oscarpiastri Thank you Barbie!!
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liked by mclaren, ynusername, and 516,392 others
oscarpiastri Busy busy week, but glad the secret's out. My girlfriend is cooler and funnier than yours, by the way.
view all 7,990 comments
ynusername you're so hot i am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure
ynusername the hair?? the smile?? the grabbable waist?? WOW!!
ynusername gonna write another song about you
ynusername if i saw you in the street i'd catcall you
ynusername i want you.
oscarpiastri I love you too
username18 FKSDHJGLKHDJG IM SO HAPPY YN CAN BE UNHINGED AND CRAZY NOW GOOD FOR HER GOOD FOR THEM!!
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request: hiiii babe! i love ur account! i was wondering if u could do an oscar piastri x meme rapper gf with an @addy_kate fc. like shes actually really funny and her music is oddly good (like tmg).
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tagging: @thearchieves @sheridamn @nikfigueiredo @charlig123456789 @ilove-tswizzle @aandreea2005 @sideboobrry @vellicora @eire-the-egg @marymustdie @cocote1410 @taygrls @koalapastries @vroomvroommuppett @nichmeddar @d3kstar @333kiki @ririyulife @resident-swiftie @zimm04 @jupiter-je-taime @ever_bizzare @blue-isnt-avaliable @iifloweringnightsii @graciewrote @formulaal @m0cha-bunny @marvelsimps @mehrmonga @elliegrey2803 @theblueblub @gwginnyweasley @sltwins @f1kenzzz @alexmarie29 @donttouchthegnote @clemswrld @hollieeelol @leireggsworld @luvvtrent @maddie-naps @lilcowboy0 @tygecjjd @skepvids @bwddermilch @pnkwhskyprncss @notawc @landossainz @janegxi @chaotic_version @lookatitlaterlol @cometsrodrigo @lizzypiastri @nixisracing @lavviee @yaesflorist
if you want to be added to any of my taglists, fill out this form
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1K notes · View notes
star-sim · 4 months
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"nooo! she's taken!" ☆ enha maknaes
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☆ non-idol! bf! enhypen maknaes x celebrity! fem! reader ☆ summary: you are a very well-loved celebrity, and your relationship is finally revealed to the public. ☆ genre: fluff, another poor attempt at humor, it's very silly ☆ warning(s)? none! lmk if you'd like to see this w the hyungs! hyung ver.
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sunoo ☆
so youre a famous actress
you have your official instagram account
and then your personal one, that you only allow family and personal friends to follow
sunoo, your bf, also has an account on instagram
since most of you friends and family know him, it's not uncommon for him to take your phone and post on your personal account
one of those "hai guys i stole her phone 🤭"
all in good fun
so one night, you and sunoo and cuddling
it was one of those vibey nights
the lights were dim, candles lighting up the room with their orangey hue, light music playing in the background
laying on you and sunoo's shared bed, his face buried into the crook of his neck while you run your fingers through his hair
its honestly so soft and warm and comfy :]
the two of you aren't really talking to each other, just basking in each other's presence
and eventually you begin to doze off
at first sunoo was like "baaaaabee!! why did you stop touching my hair"
but then he realized you were asleep
so after givng your cheek a soft peck, and tucking you into the soft blankets
sunoo physically goes >:]
he takes your phone and decides that he's going to spam your personal account
because tbh he does this a lot and it's funny for everyone involved
sunoo takes very silly pictures of you and him
pictures of you sleeping, ones at very silly angles (ik he takes the most FOUL 0.5s)
on your story he posts them with also very ridiculous captions
theres one of you sleeping with the caption "mimimumuimuiu"
another fisheye lens one of sunoo with the caption "hai i stole [name]'s phone 😈"
but he also posts some sweet ones
like one where you're dozing off in his arms w the caption "she's so cute"
sunoo gets mushy at some point
like his captions go from funny to "im so happy that i get to call myself [name]'s boyfriend, i feel so lucky to be with such a beautiful and talented woman"
that's great!
really!
that's wonderful!
but.
there's just one problem
one
teeeeeeensy
weeeeeeeeeensy
problem
he was using the wrong account.
he was posting all this on your official, business, 7.8 million follower, instagram account.
and not your personal account.
!!!!!
😱😱😱
he doesn't notice until 20 minutes later his phone blows up with articles and text messages
and when he notices
sunoos like OH SHIT
he shakes you awake
and poor boy is so apologetic :(
"baby i'm so sorry i didn't mean to out our relationship like that i should have been more careful-"
but when he explains it to you
you kinda just laugh
and go back to sleep
HELP
sunoo deletes the stories but people already screenshotted them
yeah... so this blows up
i feel like they would become memes
like the ones of you sleeping become reaction memes or even worse part of those tiktok meme slides LMAOAOAO
a lot of people think it's adorable
and you do too
but sunoo is so embarrassed
poor boy
he was writing out entire think pieces on your instagram story oml
OH MY GOD I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING TERRIBLE
there's definitely articles that come out about this
and yk how on articles theres a title page with images
one of the images is of you ofc
all these news outlets use your super professional HD MODEL pictures of you
like ones where youre a goddamn SMOKE SHOW, the "who is she?" ones, the ZOOWEE MAMA ones...
and then they use one of the foul images that sunoo takes of himself that are like 3 pixels
like the 0.5 lens ones 😭
nevertheless, there is a happy ending
everyone thinks its so sweet
including you
and when people bring it up on interviews you're able to just laugh about it
<3
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jungwon ☆
we joke abt jay and sunghoon and sunoo having mad side eyes
but i think we forget the FATHER of INSANE SIDE EYES
YANG JUNGWON HIMSELF
you're a singer/artist
and you just released a new EP!
on tiktok, you're making promotional videos to promote your new songs
looking like a cutie, popping off, as you always do!
anyways in many of them
you're in front of a glass door
or a mirror
so as youre being an absolute cutie promoting your song, in the background in the reflection you can see jungwon making faces
NOT BECAUSE HE'S MAKING FACES AT YOU
but bc sometimes there's ppl walking by and being judgy
jungwon is giving them mad stink eyes and it's caught in the reflection of your videos
i don't think a lot of ppl notice it until someone points it out
and when they do
theyre like
WHO TF IS THAT 😭
ppl are making tiktoks simply zooming into his face LMAOAOAO
and then a few days later
the paparazzi released pictures of you walking with jungwon, holding hands and on a date
and when ppl see it
theyre like
hmm...
that guy looks a lot like the guy in the reflection...
and then the dots connect
like sunoo, i think jungwon is embarrassed
everytime someone brings it up jungwon hides his face in your neck
and he wears that cute little bashful grin
but honestly it's cute
so just hug him and kiss his lil cheeks and he'll be okay
it kinda becomes viral on tiktok
so you make a few video stitches about it
you stitched the og video that pointed out jungwon's face in the background
your stitch was just a video of jungwon being embarrassed and freaking out
like bro was on the floor, hands in his hair
jungwon was in the trenches sorry 😭
there's another stitch where jungwon explains himself
he's dressed in a suit and tie and speaking so formally like he was making an apology video or something
"i would like to address a recent clip of me making inappropriate facial expressions-"
"babe you don't need to be so formal, it's a tiktok"
"you shant say that, i must do this for this is my will"
BRO WAS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE ☠️☠️☠️
#freejungwon
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riki ☆
youre an actress that's very popular
except some ppl hate you bc they think hating popular people makes them interesting *eye roll*
safe to say.... riki is your NUMBER ONE DEFENDER
like he is the ring leader to all of those [name] stan twt group chats
he's the one leading those discord raids on your hate groups OH MY GOD 😭
he has multiple accounts and he fights every person that dares tarnish your name
twitter is his battlefield and the keyboard is his sword
anyways one day riki is so deep into an internet fight that he GETS DOXXED 😭😭
like it wasn't even graceful
i think he'd make fun of one of your haters
and the hater goes "wanna see something funny? :)"
and BOOM
ADDRESS
IP ADDRESS
FULL NAME
PERSONAL EMAIL
PHONE NUMBER
dont actually dox people guys its not funny
when riki gets doxxed they get his full name right
and the hater, his assailent, and their little posse start searching his name on social media to further dox him
and BOOM #2
THEY FIND HIS INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT
now riki isn't stupid
so his ig acc is private
however.....
the profile picture of his acc is a selfie of you and him kissing
they also did research on him and found out that you and him went to the same high school...
in fact they found miscellaneous pictures posted online of you and him a few years back... holding hands n shit....
OH
SHIT
this goes viral over night
like
its so bad that even news headlines are covering it
"TWITTER USER @[NAME]LUVER1209, HOT ACTRESS [NAME]'S MOST NOTORIOUS INTERNET DEFENDER, IS REVEALED TO BE HER BOYFRIEND 😱😱😱"
i feel like the public's reaction to this would be really light-hearted
like i think mst ppl would be cheering riki on
"he's so real"
"oh my god i think i was mutuals with @[name]luver1209"
"this is what true love looks like"
you have super loyal fans and riki's mutuals so they support you too
except i do think theyd be in shambles, but in good fun
"i just found out [name] has a bf im going to flush myself down a toilet"
"i can't believe she chose @[name]luver1209 when his fancams are so shit... THAT SHOULD BE ME!!!'
"i've been here waiting in line for three years and this random @[name]luver1209 swoops in and takes my woman..."
riki's stan account gains a lot of followers
and so with your permission
he posts a selfie of you and him
probably with a cheeky caption like "KISS MY ASS!!!!"
i feel like people go back and watch old talk show interviews and stuff
and if you zoom in
you'll see riki in the front rows cheering the loudest 😭
bro is everywhere
in the future there's def a moment where like
you're at a live talk show
and the host asks you about the fiasco
and you can literally just point to him in the audience like
"yeah my boyfriend's right there-- hi baby!"
and riki from the audience, behind his phone that he's using to record you like its a fancam, is like "hi baby!" back
i dont think the media even calls him riki, he's stuck as @[name]luver1209 forever
not that he minds
😭😭😭
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hyung ver.
2K notes · View notes
findafight · 9 months
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Severely neglected component of modernish rockstar Eddie fics is Robin deciding to become an internet hater for Eddie. Like she finds out Eddie is semi/famous and is like "oh, you know what'll be hilarious?" And makes a twitter account dedicated to dissing him. You cannot convince me she wouldn't. Eddie knows she runs the account (it's not even negative it's just to rag on him. Tweets like "Eddie Munson seems like the kind of guy who would tell his friend he'll get her dr pepper and then get some bullshit knockoff. What the hell is a peppo" and "Eddie Munson has probably gotten so distracted by his SO that he walked into a wall and then was still so distracted said SO thought he was concussed." Or "Jeff is actually the best member of CC Eddie probably walked on cafeteria tables in HS" And of course "everybody says I hate on Eddie too much but they don't know he woke his SOs bff up just to ask if there was any peppo left. Twice.") But he can't do anything about it. It's a bit of a meme, because the account never says anything actually mean about Eddie, or his music. Just. Bizarre hypotheticals. (They are not hypothetical)
People are like "how do you feel about EddieMunsonh8r at twitter dot com"
And he has to grit his teeth and say people can have their own opinions about him, ignoring the fact that Robin was literally sitting beside him poking him when she tweeted earlier that day about him wiggling his fingers and saying he'd like to have a little morsel (in reference to cheezies).
When asked why she does it she just says "to keep him humble. And also it's funny to see if people believe he would do this stuff."
Gareth proposes one of them make an account like that about Steve, semi famous stuntman who's doing some more acting now, and the next day Robin tweets "CC seems like the kid of guys who'd make a fake hater account about Steve and use actually silly billy things he does as content" (Jeff tattled)(Eddie groaned)(Steve and Robin cackled)
3K notes · View notes
h4m1lt0ns · 6 months
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HEARTBREAK SYNDROME.
episode ten :: MADNESS, BADNESS.
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ pairing ︴lewis hamilton x y/n
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ genre ︴social media au / irl snippets
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ summary ﹔lewis + y/n = combination
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ face claim ﹔ wonyoung jang (28)
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ warnings ﹕ excessive cussing, none.
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☆ IMESSAGE with : LEW <3
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y/n: lew are u awake
lew <3: yeah i’m up
y/n: wait did i wake u up
lew <3: no no dw i couldn’t sleep
lew <3: why are you up tho doll?
lew <3: it’s almost two in the morning
y/n: i couldn’t sleep either <3
y/n: remember the demo lyrics i showed you like three days ago??
lew <3: the one you began writing on the boat?
y/n: yeahhhh that one
lew <3: yeah ofc
y/n: can u help me finish it?
y/n: if you’re not busy ofc
lew <3: never too busy for you doll
lew <3: plus i’m not really doing anything rn
y/n:
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lew <3: you and those memes lmfao
lew <3: how can i help you doll
y/n: oh
y/n: i was actually hoping you’d come over
y/n: i’m just chilling in my home studio
lew <3: studio you said???
lew <3: you don’t even have to ask twice
lew <3: putting on my shoes
y/n: omg oh my god okay omg
y/n: y/n x xnda????
lew <3: whewwwwwww 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨
lew <3: let me cook alright
y/n: get in there lewis
lew <3: omw !!!
y/n: pls bring roscoe
lew <3: dw i will
lew <3: i said your name once and he immediately woke up
y/n: 😭😭
y/n: i miss him sm
lew <3: on our way doll :)))
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y/n
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♡ liked by lewishamilton, yukitsunoda0511 and 7,204,108 others.
y/n it’s just me and you
tagged: roscoelovescoco, lewishamitlon
592,495 comments.
username Y/N’S IN THE STUDIO ALERT 🚨
username BITCH IS THAT ROSCOE???!?!?????!?!?
→ username IT IS SHE TAGGED THE ACCOUNT
→ username ROSCOE MUSICAL DEBUT???
→ username producer tag is woof woof
username y/n???? and lewis??? in the studio???? i’m excited????
username YESSSS NEW MUSIC SOON PLS 🔥🔥🔥
username LET HER COOK LET HER COOK 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
username YES GOD PLS
username Y/N AND XNDA????
→ roscoelovescoco y/ns ands roscoe
→ username HOE YOU AINT SLICK
→ username LEWIS DROP THE SONG IMMEDIATELY
→ username OKAY SO THIS JUST CONFIRMED IT
→ username WORLDS COLLIDING????
→ username IM SOOOOOO NORMAL ABT THIS
username LEWIS AND Y/N IN THE STUDIO????
→ username i personally, am frothing at the mouth.
→ username real
carlossainz55 babysitting duty?
→ y/n third wheeling duty actually
→ lewishamilton i was the third wheel 🙋🏾
→ username OHMYGODOHMYGOD
→ username Y/N X XNDA WHEN
[liked by lewishamilton]
username OMFGGGGGGG
roscoelovescoco i’s missed yous y/ns 🐾
→ username i once again say, hoe you ain’t slick 🤨
username there’s so much going on i don’t know where to look.
username LEWIS WAS THEREEEEEEE
username BRO IM BOUT TO EXPLODE
y/l/nestate glad you’re in the studio but please get some sleep 🎀
jensonbutton another banger album coming?
→ y/n maybe 🤭
→ username HUHHHHHH
username FATHER JENSON
→ username ANOTHER ALBUM????
→ username MA’AM YOU CANT JUST SAY THAT AND DIP
→ username Y/N COME BACK 🔪
→ username AYEEEEYOOOOOO
→ username SCREAMINGGGG
→ username BWOAHHHHHH
→ username Y/N I SWEARRRRRR
☆ IMESSAGE with : BOARD OF DIRECTORS.
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princess george: so y/n
y/n: jesus christ
princess george: wrong
honey badger: lmfao
y/n: oh this feels like a threat
yukino: it is 🔪🔪🔪
PIERRE GASLYYYY: ^^^
y/n: OH???????
princess george: you and lewis huh 😏
y/n: don’t ever use that emoji ever again omfg
my baby lando: look at her trying to dodge the topic
babygirl alex: no bc literally
chili!: what were you doing in the studio w a boy in the middle of the night young lady 🤨
y/n: papa????
chal eclair: answer the question bae ❤️🔪
wifey lily: yet another man trying to steal my wife i see
angel carmen: no bc has he no self respect? frolicking with a married woman?
girlfriend kika: my wife specifically??
y/n: oh my god 🤭 babe i’m blushing
alabono: bro answer the question
y/n: 🙄🙄🙄🙄
y/n: he helped me with a demo i’m working on
y/n: we wrote a song together is all
yukino: a part of me wants to believe you but the other says you’re hiding shit 🧐
y/n: omfg yuki how dare you
chal eclair: oh so you just hung out?
y/n: yeah man
PIERRE GASLYYYY: “yeah man” right.
PIERRE GASLYYYY: you liar
PIERRE GASLYYYY: roscoe was still at your house this morning when kika facetimed you so lewis is also probably still there
yukino: SO YOU ARE HIDING SHIT???
y/n: wAIT
babygirl alex: LIARRRRRRRR
angel carmen: HOW COULD YOU
y/n: HOLD AWNNNNNN
honey badger: CAN WE EVEN TRUST YOU MATE
chili!: ^^^^^^^
y/n: OKAY
y/n: LISTEN
my baby lando: 👂🏼👂🏼👂🏼👂🏼👂🏼
y/n: roscoe is at my house bc i’m babysitting him today, lew is busy and i’m keeping an eye on him while in the studio
chal eclair: LEW?????
chal eclair: HE HAS A NICKNAME NOW??
chal eclair: I WAITED TWO YEARS TO GET A NICKNAME AND HE GETS ONE EASILY?
chal eclair: THE BEST I GET OUT OF YOU IS SHAL LEGLEG AND HE GETS A CUTE “LEW”?
chal eclair: no.
chal eclair: tell him to pull up
babygirl alex: relax u can’t hurt a fly even if you wanted
yukino: it’s okay charles i’ll hurt him for you
y/n: neither of you is hurting anyone
my baby lando: i smell a potential father figure
y/n: omg shut up
honey badger: she says as she giggles and kicks her feet
y/n: STOPPP
wifey lily: OH SO YOU ARE GIGGLING KICKING YOUR FEET
yukino: down MISERABLE
y/n: NO IM NOT
princess george: what did he do that has you kicking your feet 🤨
chili!: ^^^^^^
babygirl alex: ^^^^^
yukino: ^^^^^^^
honey badger: ^^^^^
y/n: we didn’t do anything oh my god
alabono: we didn’t ask if YALL did something
alabono: we asked what did HE do
alabono: exposed ur self dummy
wifey lily: i’m so proud of you for clocking that babe
alabono: 😌
my baby lando: WAIT
honey badger: YOU TWOOOO DID SOMETHING
yukino: y/n, spill or i crash into lewis next race
y/n: listen. good fucking god.
y/n: i’m literally powering off my phone after this.
y/n: we kissed in the recording both
my baby lando: HUHHHLDOWIFIW
wifey lily: WHATTTTTDOYOUMEANKISSED
chili!: KISSED??? LIKE MWAH MWAH
alabono: MWAH MWAH IS KILLING MEEEE
PIERRE GASLYYYY: Y/N ANSWER THE PHONE
babygirl alex: THEY KISSEDDDDKDOSK
girlfriend kika: LOOOOOOSING IN MY MIND
honey badger: BITCH COME BACK HERE
angel carmen: MY KNEES ARE WEAK WDYM KISS
princess george: YOU DID WHAT WHERE
chal eclair: HE STILL GOT A NICE ENOUGH NICKNAME BEFORE ME MATE.
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y/n added to their story!
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☆ IMESSAGE with : LEW <3
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lew <3: today was as long as a mf
lew <3: i got home and wondered why i couldn’t hear any barking
lew <3: forgot my boy was with u lol
y/n: oh fuck u seem rly rly tired
y/n: it’s okay i’ll drop him off dw
y/n: lol at least one of us got work done
lew <3: was ur day not good?
lew <3: what happened doll
y/n: roscoe is soooo fucking adorable :(
y/n: i literally couldn’t pay attention to anything that wasn’t him
y/n: he’s so so so cute it’s was so distracting 🥹 and the problem was that i had him on my lap the entire morning and when i stopped cuddling him he started whining and crying n i felt like a monster
lew <3: awww
lew <3: ur so cute
lew <3: i feel terrible knowing i can’t take him everywhere with me
y/n: he’s so babie i love him soooo much
lew <3: more than me?
y/n: yes obv 🙄 know ur place
lew <3: lmfaoooo
lew <3: come over already doll
y/n: aw man ur taking roscoe away from me :’(
lew <3: i miss my son
lew <3: and i miss my doll too
y/n: making me blush lew
lew <3: if not me then who will
lew <3: btw ur staying for dinner
lew <3: u don’t have a say in this :)
y/n: yes sir!!
lew <3: oh?
lew <3: sir huh?
y/n: 🫢🤭
lew <3: come over.
y/n: omwwww
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lewishamilton added to their story!
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fishfission-dc · 1 year
Text
Batfamily Powerpoint Night! (Part 2: Dick)
<<Part 1: Bruce    |    Part 3: Tim >>
[Masterlist]
Dick: My turn! And thank you Bruce for setting me up so perfectly!
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Tim: OH MY GOD
Jason: Okay this one I can get behind
[disgruntled Bruce noises]
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Babs: You prioritized those reasons... interestingly. 
Damian: I agree with Richard. My farm animals occasionally require my attention on a time-sensitive basis.
Bruce: People’s lives are literally on the line
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Tim: IT WAS ONE TIME GUYS
Jason: “Great driver” is a stretch for you, Dickhead
Steph: Yeah haven’t you crashed like three cars
Dick: Okay sure but how many times has B crashed the Batmobile? Definitely more than three.
Duke: You’re a hazard to traffic in a Toyota Corolla, Dick. But I agree about Tim.
Tim: I CAN DRIVE
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Dick: Plus everyone keeps changing their codename, it’s so much easier to just use their normal people names in a pinch.
Cass: (signs) Fair.
Jason: Maybe if Bruce stopped adopting so many Robins we would follow the rules.
[disgruntled Bruce noises]
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Steph: SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK
Bruce: Where did you get those pictures
Jason: Wow, Bruce not following his own rules? Who could have expected this baffling turn of events
Damian: Richard this is horrific
Bruce: Dick where did you find these
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Jason: That meme is disgusting
Duke: I forget how much of a millennial you are sometimes
Steph: Maybe this is why we don’t answer your texts
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Bruce: I-
Jason: Th-
Dick: I will be taking no questions at this time. Moving on-
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Steph: JUSTICE FOR SPOILEROFFICIAL
Tim: Bruce please if Dick stops flirting with himself online can we have our accounts back
Bruce: No. 
Steph: He’s just mad because Nightwing had more followers than Bruce Wayne on Twitter
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Babs: richard
Dick: :)
Tim: Doesn’t Bruce kiss Selina with the mask off too-
Bruce: IS THIS ALMOST OVER
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Damian: Todd and Father sharing a meal without injuring each other? Fascinating.
Jason: This is literally so humiliating where did you get this
Dick: :)
Bruce: I just gave a presentation on why these restrictions are important
Cass: (signing) You break them. Often.
Steph: Yeah I don’t know, Dick makes some pretty good points. 
Bruce: [disgruntled Bruce noises]
Tim: My turn!
<<Part 1: Bruce    |    Part 3: Tim >>
[Masterlist]
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etherealstar-writes · 2 months
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I WANNA BE YOURS | WOSO X READER | PT 14
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pairings: woso x reader
summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.
part: fourteen
part one here
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ you guys back me up here
lotte y/n absolutely not
neev oooh what's gotten lotte acting like this
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ so i made this insane connection yeah lotte is literally a female tom holland but miss wubben-moy here is denying it
the REAL karate kid huh?
mccard hold on you might be onto something here
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
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LOOOK it's not the best photo to compare from but tell me i ain't the only who sees it
stairway OMG
brightness oh yeah i'm seeing it
stephy YESSS it's the side profile
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ exactly!!
meado that is insane
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ seeee lotte! i meant it as a compliment when i said you look like tom holland's twin
elton changed lotte's name to tom holland's twin
tom holland's twin
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neev
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the imposter aka y/n ❤️ 😔😔
tom holland's twin niamh do i need to remind you of this afternoon at the beach? because i will
hempo oooh i wanna know what happeneddd
daly
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stairway WAIT YOU GUYS WENT TO THE BEACH?! AND DIDN'T INVITE ME
the REAL karate kid that is so sad we must've completely forgotten about you
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ OMG YESS I HAVE AMAZING PHOTOS TO SHARE
neev Y/N NO
tom holland's twin Y/N YES
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
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this one and jessie were STRUGGLING for an hour trying to place their mats 😭😭 it was so funny
flaming hot STOPPP DONT REMIND ME
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
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and miss fleming here even gave me the bird guys she's not as innocent as she looks
flaming hot oh shut up y/n
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ you're just sour that the wind loved me
flaming hot yeah i really am
the imposter aka y/n ❤️
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i'm justfdghjkem ehyu tyuiolkjehsyuikmdrnh
willybum um y/n you good?
elton are you having a stroke rn?
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ sorry y/n's a bit busy rn
neev WHERE'S Y/N MY BAE AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ if you want to see her alive again i'm gonna need y'all to venmo me 10k each
stairway 10k?
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ is that too much for you?
stairway oh no no it was just surprising how you didn't go for one 1 million like everyone usually does
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ oh well i guess if you want it that way then 1 million each from y'all
willybum STANWAY WTH
neev had to open that big mouth of yours
ona we'll save y/n just what is this venmo and how do i venmo you money?
elton i mean do we have to ..... she'll be fineee
neev you know what how about 1 m for y/n toone will pay for it on behalf of us all
elton HUH excuse you i ain't venmoing anyone a million dollars i'm positive i don't even have a hundred dollars in my bank account
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ wow glad to know how much i'm worth 😔
ona y/n! you're okay! do i still have to venmo for your safety?
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ oh no no don't worry about it ona you're too sweet for this world 🥺 kyra and charli were being jerks and snatched my phone and ran away
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ added kyra and cha cha
kyra aw man you ruined the fun 😔 i could've earned some money
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ nahhh ona's too precious to be scammed by you but i mean ella on the other hand ....
elton OI
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the imposter aka y/n ❤️ OMG HOW MANY SELFIES DID YOU TWO TAKE ON MY PHONE?!
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cha cha just enough 😁
stephy i was dreading when the three of you would meet up as if we don't already have enough chaos in this groupchat
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ stephyyy why would you think that 😔
cha cha honestly
kyra
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the REAL karate kid 😭😭
willybum HELP
cha cha HAHA I LOVE THIS PLS
stephy
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kyra WOAH WOAH WOAH
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stephy
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kyra
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cha cha HELP YOU BEAT KYRA WITH MEMES I CANT BELIEVE THIS
the imposter aka y/n ❤️ HAHAHA STEPH YOU ICONIC LEGEND I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
i don't even know what the hell this is anymore 😭😭 but i hope you enjoyed this nonsense
part fifteen here
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15minlatewithbatbucks · 11 months
Text
It's forty minutes into the latest state of the company press conference and Bruce has had to mute his mic entirely to avoid being turned into a meme AGAIN for sighing too much at his own event. For all that he's spent almost 20 years coaching his own children on not making scenes, he's really not much better. It's hot and he doesn't want to be here. His ribs hurt. He's tired. He's hungry. He's every excuse Dick or Jason have trotted out over the years.
(Tim understands company manners and can almost always be trusted to stick it out as long as he's allowed to vent his frustrations afterwards. He's recently taken to smashing ugly thrifted dishes. Stephanie and Damian have been collecting any ceramic not entirely pulverized and turning them into pavers for Alfred's garden.)
(Bruce gave up after Tim. He really only needs one kid to tag along to social events. If the kid start to outnumber him they start getting IDEAS.)
His distraction is why it takes two very rude repetitions of his name for him to take notice at the young reporter pushing his way to the front. Lucius stands, cutting off the project manager currently presenting and speaks into the mic.
"Please keep hold all questions until the end of the presentation, thank you."
"Mr. Wayne," the reporter tries again and Bruce waves away Lucius's further protests.
"Can I help you?" He asks, smiling with the full force of Brucie Wayne's charm behind it. It's been awhile since his last scandal, but if the press is inventing drama then it's less work for him.
The man holds up a photograph almost accusingly. He reeks of gotcha journalism.
Bruce squints towards him, unable to fully make out the contents of the photo. Dick may have been right when he gently suggested Bruce add glasses to his Brucie Wayne persona but that was a hill Bruce was still willing to die on. It was bad enough he had to have a prescription COWL.
"What do you have to say about the presence of your adopted son, Timothy Drake at the illegal mob in Robinson Park last Saturday?"
"Drake-Wayne," Bruce corrected because Tim hyphenated, damn it. He was the first of his children to let Bruce tag the Wayne name on and it mattered, damn it. "Wait do you mean-"
"How about reports of him kissing a man while there?"
"A blond man?" Bruce asked, finally giving up and crossing to take the photo for himself. "Oh. No, that's his boyfriend."
There was a beat of silence before Bruce realized his mistake. Just as the reporters began to squall, he dropped the blurry photo and began to speed walk off, phone suddenly in hand.
Through the podium's microphone, the gathered reporters heard one thing as Bruce evacuated the immediate vicinity.
"Tim? Don't be mad."
---
Despite Bruce's best efforts, he becomes a meme.
---
Immediately following the bombshell that Timothy Drake-Wayne had a boyfriend, social media blows up, clamoring for more information. They're ravenous for it, desperate. Tim doesn't have a personal social media presence but they stalk his professional accounts religiously. Bruce does have personal social media, but he maintains radio silence.
In the end, a Gotham based "influencer" stumbles across Dick Grayson and Damian Wayne getting donuts at Kosher Donuts and Co. Dick is personable, as always, and stops to speak with the young woman briefly.
"Yeah, Tim wasn't mad," he laughs when asked. "Just disappointed. But man, he knows how to milk it."
"Bruce is in the doghouse, huh?" she asks, full of false sympathy.
"A little bit," Dick says as Damian mumbles, "Titus would never share."
"But," Dick continued. "Tim's spun it so Bruce is on the hook for like, half a million in donations for local LGBT charities. Tim says it would hurt less if he sponsored a new shelter too, so that's something to look forward to."
"That's a lot of money! Where's it all going?"
"Oh you know," Dick says and gestures vaguely. "A lot of different programs."
"Yeah? Anything you personally want to see done with the funding?"
"Drag story time," Damian answers before Dick can. He looks intense. "But not for children. For dogs. In the shelter."
---
A day later, Tim breaks the silence. He goes live on Bruce's Instagram.
"So the problem was that Bruce thought the reporter was saying I was being unfaithful," Tim explains. "He totally forgot I wasn't out to everyone yet. Bruce was just worried because he's already told me if I break up with my boyfriend, he's not uninviting him from any future family events."
"Luckily, I was in fact just kissing my boyfriend at PRIDE. Just because people got shifty with the permits at the last second because of protestors doesn't make it an illegal mob. If you wanna hear about Wayne's and illegal mobs, talk to Dickie about his younger years. Nothing I do can compare."
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sant-riley · 1 year
Text
[Task force 141 × Gen Z! Reader/ General headcanons] [p4]
A/N; I thought the hyperfixation was over but surprise it is not LMAO, sorry for the long wait, mentally I was fucked and just tired/burnt out
Ghost is the one who usually trains the recruits, which means he needs to demonstrate moves on. That's where you come in. You can see the recruits tension filled bodies stare at your own bc what the fuck you do mean this 6'4 man is gonna use a finishing move on you.
You crack jokes that Ghost would never hurt a fly before you're flipped on your ass and Ghost is leaning his entire weight on you.
They use you as weights, mainly Soap. It is not an odd occurrence for recruits on base to see you sit on Soaps back while he does push-ups. You usually will be scrolling on your phone on tiktok and Laswell just sighs and takes a picture of yall to show to her wife.
Ghost uses you as a barbell basically and you enjoy being manhandled so you're just happy to be there.
Soap likes to play fight, he will playfully hit your sides and will tickle you while you run around desperately trying to evade his grasps. The only time he stops really is when either Price steps in or when Ghost fucking clothe lines him and he falls on his face. Soap sees you giggling behind Ghosts body and rolls his eyes.
All the guys have you on social media, even Ghost though he notably has no pfp, a generic user, only follows you. He is the first one to like any of your posts and makes appearances on your account and no one knows it's him for sure.
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Soap takes your phone and scrolls thru your folder of memes, sending whichever ones he particular enjoys to himself. He really likes reaction images and uses them with everyone and people just ignore it and continue on texting like he didn't just send a picture of a woman crying.
You like to send ghost references you're sure he will not understand and he feels his blood pressure rise every day.
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When they learn if you can't, you know, drive for the first time is also a real good time. Ghost is in the back, a bullet in his forearm, Price shouting at you to floor it and by God you fucking floor it so hard Ghost slams his head into the wall of the car and passes out. Price screams that you should've been fucking taught this in training but you shrug your shoulders, knuckles whitened as you shakily haul ass to evac.
It's a running joke that Alejandro and Rudy want you on their team, they playfully try and make negotiations
"Come on, she would be happier with us, no?"
Alejandro has a hand placed on the small of your back, inching you closer to his side in the booth of some random bar yall were dragged too. You're blushing and sputtering bc oh wow two more very attractive men are asking to take you an-
"I agree with Colonel, we can work something out." Then Rudy goes and kisses your hand and Ghost feels his eye twitch and Soap is stanced the fuck up immediately, leaning over and almost pulling across the table.
"Yea no, you two can fuck off with that shit." He grumbles, squeezing his arms around your waist. If he was a dog his hackles would be raised and his teeth bared.
Rudy can't help but lean in and whisper to Alejandro:
"Realmente deberías dejar de bromear con ellos así" (you should really stop joking with them like that)
Alejandro turns and looks dead into Rudy's eyes and hits him with
"¿Quién dijo que estaba bromeando?" (Who said I was joking?)
"Colonel, with all due respect stop fucking with my men, they're gonna pop a bloody blood vessel."
Gaz and you go to cat cafes fairly often!! He finds it extremely relaxing and he often goes whenever he goes on leave with you. No he doesn't correct the batista who thinks yall are married. He says it's because of a discount (there is none).
Price simply loves when you come visit and spend time with him in the city, walking arm and arm while he hums and listens to you ramble. Whether it be about your hyperfixations, you venting or ranting, he's there listening while watching you intently.
Price walks with you inwards of the sidewalk, do not try and move bc he will glare at you.
Valeria, oh she likes you, one bc you're a cute little thing. But mostly because she knows it'll get under everyone's skin if she even makes a mention of taking you. It especially pisses Alejandro off so she makes sure she calls you princess and blows you a kiss when they close the container door on her.
Ghost likes to come up behind you and pulls on the elastics of your holsters really far and let's them slap against your skin to see you whine and whimper. It never fails to make him laugh.
Ghost will not hesitate to beat the shit out of someone who tries to do it to you though, esp a random recruit.
Soap likes to carry you around on his back, it isn't a strange thing but he just genuinely loves the feeling of you against him. He doesn't care if you think you're 'too big', he's gonna pick you up so be quiet and let him hold you.
You've stolen multiple things of their items, not even on purpose but they left it in your room and now it's yours.
You have a skull balaclava, Ghost once came in and said it was too small for him and threw it on your bed and left. He will feel his heart tighten in his chest if you wear it outside of base.
You have a shit ton of Soap's muscle shirts, he is not upset but he will smile so soft when he sees you walk around in it in the early morning, your hair a mess and still a bit of drool on your lips.
Gaz buys you your own hats in attempt for you to stop taking his. It doesn't help. He flicks the brim and always has some cheeky remark about it but he doesn't mind.
You have one of Prices' lighters that you stim with on or off mission. He doesn't even realize until one day you have a lighter with the England flag on it and you're playing with it bc you're anxious. He doesn't say anything though.
Taglist:
@devilsfoodcake22 @simon-rileys-princess
@stupid-ninja @milkmily
@lune-la-chanson @tamayakii
@teacupcollector @sweet-as-an-angel
@perilous-pasta @ihatethisappsomuchitpains
@marsbar127xx @baddump
@xncasi @king-cookiex
@palomaxaxaxa @amatchasky @wolfyland07 @diejager
@hailstrum18 @pretty-little-bunny382728 @mzfandom @solarslushee @areislol
[If you want to be tagged, comment under my pinned post]
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mrsdarkandyandere7 · 10 months
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Phone Password
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Pairing: Dark Tangerine x (female) Reader
▶ This is a yandere/dark work and it may contain triggering content so please READ THE WARNINGS before. Do not read if minor.
More at Masterlist
SUMMARY: Tangerine can be quite the pushy boyfriend when he wants too.
WARNING: Toxic Relationship; Manipulation.
AN: Please, reblog and give me feedback.
--
You stand by the closet door, silently watching as Tangerine violently rips the rings from his fingers, a scowl in his face and his anger palpable even though he doesn't say anything. The rings are aggressively thrown into his jewelry box and you press your lips together, holding back a wince.
Hesitantly advancing a step, you rub the back of your neck, unsure of what to say.
“Tan… he’s just a friend.” you timidly say but you get no response in return.
Tangerine removes his golden watch, throwing it to a shelf without even looking at you as he storms off the closet, bumping his shoulder into yours as he walks by. 
Your heart drops to the floor but you still follow him back to the room, wanting to make things right. You somehow feel like it’s your fault. 
He’s standing in front of the mirror as you stand behind him, his back muscles tense as he struggles with the buttons, muttering curses as he attempts to unbutton them, ending up breaking some of them. 
“We’re just friends, I swear.” you try again and this time, he finally looks at you through the mirror, glaring at you. The look in his eyes almost makes you go back a step. 
“Oh really, darlin’? Well that’s a fuckin’ suprise cause you definitely fooled me back there cause it fuckin’ looked like the two of you were datin’.“ he grits his teeth, spitting the words. 
“You’re getting it wrong, babe.” you plead. 
Tangerine turns around, shirt half-opened. His eyes narrow, arms tightly crossed across his chest. 
“I don’t think I am, no. That explains why you’ve been so secretive with your phone.” he snarls, and your jaw goes slack with surprise. 
“What? No! I did no such thing, Tan.” 
“Then you won’t mind lettin’ me check it, right?” he immediately shoots back, his hand reaching out in your direction and you can only look at it, rapidly blinking.
“You want…my phone?” you hesitate, thinking about the private messages between your friends and you, your social media.
Your silence is all it takes for Tangerine to scoff, an incredulous twisted laugh coming from him. 
“I knew, didn’t I? You’re screwin’ him, I fuckin’ knew that.”
“I’m not.” you defend yourself, quickly taking the decision of pulling your phone out of your back pocket. You lit up the screen when the device gets snatched from your fingers. 
“The password.” Tangerine orders, entering the code as you unwillingly blurt the numbers out. Your fingers itch as you watch him go over your phone’s content.
You feel exposed like this, all the private chats between your friends and you, all of your photos and memes, your social media accounts, all of it now available to your boyfriend’s eyes. Not that you have anything to hide from him yet you value your privacy very deeply. 
It barely takes 2 minutes before Tangerine is returning your phone, a satisfied expression taking over his face. 
“I trust you, love, but don’t change the password.” he demands, pressing a small kiss to your forehead. 
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tossawary · 5 months
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Every time I see or otherwise imagine a Daemon AU (a story borrowing the concept of "physical soul animals" from the "His Dark Materials" book series), I get distracted thinking about aaaaall the logistical issues and cultural changes that would happen if the world was different in this way. Especially if it's a story that's set in the modern day!
Mostly, I'm distracted by cultural changes that are, uh, let's go with "silly". Like, I think people would put in cat doors and ramps for their daemons. I think people would put their turtle daemons on hot wheel cars and let their rat daemons drive miniature cars. I think some miserable people would be unreasonably outraged by "assistive devices" for daemons and call it unnatural. I think people would post online like, "I just watched my grandma's elderly dog daemon spend ten minutes trying to climb onto the couch." I think that there would be Tumblr polls asking: "Are daemons allowed on the furniture in your house?" And some people would be like, "Absolutely not, that's disgusting," and other people would be like, "Yes?! Of course?!?!?!"
I think some people would put their daemons in outfits. I think some people would wear MATCHING outfits with their daemons. I think there would be a huge market for daemon accessories like collars and scarves. I think you could find someone who would argue to their dying breath that putting a collar on your daemon is a form of abusing yourself. I think there would be daemons who would straight up hate wearing anything, especially the daemons of young children, and shed collars immediately. I think some people would get their daemon's ears pierced.
I think people would take photos of their daemons getting stuck in stupid places. I think people would take photos of their daemons making silly expressions. I think these photos would be used as memes. I think this would be included in the "don't take photos of strangers and post them online???" arguments. I think some people would try to get animals that are the same as their daemon forms so that their daemon could have a "friend". I think the exotic pet trade in this world would be horrible, especially in relation to modelling and acting industries, and that some people and their daemons would work as "substitute daemon actors".
I think that people would judge other people based on their daemons, sure. I also think that daemons are incorporated into things like astrology and matchmaking in ways that our world can't imagine. "Oh, I only date guys with dog daemons. Guys with cat daemons are too feminine," would be a constant sexist / homophobic sitcom joke and also a real thing people would say. There would be sex books written taking daemons into account and I'm not going to get into it more than that except to say...
The furry "discourse" that must exist in a Modern Daemon AU is operating on a level that we cannot possibly fathom.
Most of this stuff is not relevant for most Daemon AUs, but I feel like when doing any kind of cultural worldbuilding, we must face the fact that many people love and hate nothing more than to sincerely and insincerely get into extensive Twitter arguments over pointless bullshit. And also, on a lighter note, that "Draw yourself and your daemon!" would be a classic Day 1 of school activity for children. Confession blogs would have people saying, "My mom and aunt and grandma all have parrot daemons, so until I was four, I genuinely thought all women had bird daemons. When I met a woman with an iguana daemon in a grocery store, I asked her what kind of bird it was supposed to be. My mom has laughingly brought it up every few weeks for the past twenty years."
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txttletale · 4 months
Note
tbh an issue I have with wholesome gaming as a self described genre is also how much it tends to just feel like reskinned misogynistic "soft girl gamer" culture. i usually see it used most often by people quietly (or not so quietly sometimes) condemning by comparison "soulslike games" or "fighting games" or whatever as some big monolith that's just oh-so difficult and jarring for the soft wholesome gamer to wrap their cozy little mind around, and a lot of the time the way that's done feels /reaaaallly/ gendered in a way I used to see more blatantly passed around in sexist gaming circles circa 2000's. and the same types of accounts then share memes about like "tfw ur BOYFRIEND is gaming and HE says things you don't understand on his annoying GAMERBRO call and you just want to play your animal crossing!!" or "when u say ur gaming and the hubby catches you PLAYING THE SIMS LOL". like i tend to enjoy a LOT of games in the so-called cozy genre, but I also like other video game genres too, and I get really icked by the popular communities associated with the former more often than the latter. it really feels a lot like gamers who want to distance themselves from the "ew toxic bad" identity of being a gamer, while still signalling to the world that they're Cool and Like Games Too and Aren't Like Other Non Gamer Girls (or whatever gender but I can't Not see it as gendered at its core).
yknow gt i think this is really interesting. i can't think of much to add but this is a really trenchant insight imo & there absolutely is a really strong gendered element to the classification
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dreamauri · 22 days
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♪ — 𝗪𝗜𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗜𝗡? part one max verstappen x reader (fluff) “. . . when he wants to be normal, he can count on you, stranger.”
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( main master list | more of max verstappen ) ( requests | taglist )
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One of the things Max Verstappen despises about being Max Verstappen is being Max Verstappen. Three time world champion, youngest race winner, mad max, f1 dominator, all the fame and media and people following him around. It's very hard to get a moment of peace or be treated normally. When people hear his name they either put on big smiles or ugly frowns. He hates the special treatment.
He misses when he could have a conversation without people recording or judging him. Without people whispering about him, or fake being his friend for whatever fame. When people would just spend time with him for the sake of spending time, or having a conversation for the sake of friendly socialization and conversation. Luckily though for the Dutch, in this day and age, Max could just enter a spare email in Discord and make a second lowkey account.
The pfp was a random photo of Max, a meme. Lowkey enough, Max decided after staring at the profile long enough before opening DiscoBoard. After scrolling and searching, he was dawned upon with a relatively small server with only 280 people online, surrounding sim racing. After he followed instructions on the welcome page like verifying he's not a robot and picking roles, he got his first ping. 
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★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Max met you in August of 2022. The way you talked and messed around with him got him constantly checking his phone for notifications over the next months. The way you befriended him and were relaxed around him once the two of you got to know each other, it kept him sane. And although Max didn't really reveal a lot about himself except that his work required a lot of traveling and effort, you trusted him enough to share about your own life up in France, ranting about your weird encounters as an employee at Cisco.
The blonde’s favorite part about getting home was plopping in his gaming chair and switching his Discord accounts. Pulling his headphones on and navigating through the server, he joined the active voice chat. It was as if he was switching lives, turning off Max Verstappen to be an irrelevant 26 year old.
“A millioooon.” you sang like you always did, a nickname you’d given him since amilian sounded like a million. 
“Laaaaa.” Max sang back with a chuckle before greeting the other acquaintances present on the call. 
“How was your weekend?” You hummed. 
“Same as always. Maybe a bit shittier this time.” He sighed, seeing you were on Gran Turismo from your shared screen. 
“I’d love to beat up someone for you.” You always offer when he’s down. The blonde would laugh and shake his head even though you can’t see. You never cease to bring him a smile with your tone and jokes and hearty aura, despite being kilometers up north. "We're waiting for Josh to take a few rounds around spa, you wanna join?" 
"Oh, yes please." friendly racing with no consequences, points or championship? just friends messing around and enjoying themselves? Yes please.
★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
"You see the new verstappen photos that just dropped, Mr. Max Verstappen nerd?" Max looked up from his phone, eyebrows furrowed as he looked at your dm chat where the two of you decided to move the call once everyone else put down the steering wheel for the night.
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"This one is from Bahrain I think . . . you know, I'm starting to take a liking to him." Max rolled his eyes playfully at your words. "To be honest, I was kind of disappointed this weekend." Max rubbed his eyes, looking up at your profile picture. 
"Why what happened?" He asked even though he probably knew all too well the events of the Australian grand prix.
"Max DNFed on the third or fifth lap." You sighed. 
"Oh yeah?" Max hummed, pursing his lips, not wanting to recall the memories. "What's so bad about that? I thought you were a die hard Charles fan?" he asked. 
"Excuse you, I'm a die hard Fernando fan." You joked in a sassy tone which pulled a chuckle from him.
"What is it about Max DNFing that is bothering you then?" Max himself asked, putting his phone down to concentrate on your voice. 
"I just don't—" you sighed deeply. On your end of the call you rolled back in your chair, getting up and flopping on your bed with your phone in hand.
When you did answer his question, all Max heard was mumbles because your voice was muffled by your pillow. "Can't hear you, La. Aren't you happy about the Carlando podium? You were so happy about it last year." 
"I am happy, I am. But Max . . . well Max . . . i don't know." you grumbled frustrated. "He's such a good driver, and deserves a lot— he works really really hard."
Max never thought he'd hear you talking about him like that. He'd usually hear other people on the server dissing him and cursing him. And although you were always mostly neutral with the drivers, the way you spoke about Max tonight melted his heart. It also felt very wrong.
While you turned and laid on your back, staring up at the ceiling of your room, venting your feelings about a driver who you thought didn't know you existed, said driver folded his arms on his desk and leaned forward, resting his chin on his arms listening to you vent about how much you were amazed and proud even though you don't know him personally or him not being your favorite driver.
Max glanced up at his monitor as you sighed to gather your thoughts. "Sometimes when i look at him, he reminds me of myself. I never really got to go past karting, but for some reason I see a little bit of y/n in him." 
"—Y/n?" He sat up hearing the name. 
"I—" You face palmed upon the realization.
 "Is that your name?" Max asked. You nodded briefly with a sigh but he couldn't see.
"Unfortunately." You sighed. "Weird name, I know—" 
"I like it." He reassured. "It's not like Amilian is any better." he tried to lighten the mood, working slightly. 
"A million." you giggled making him chuckle back. 
"A million, " he repeated quieter, a small smile on his face as he leaned his chin back down on his arm.
Such a foolish thing to do, taking a liking to a woman you've never met.
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Voice notes . . . ( my brain is like a zoo rn, starting projects and not being able to track anything while working on everything at the same time )Word count - ( 1, 165 ) credits for proof reading -> @classiclitfreak (check out their blog!!)
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fatale-distraction · 4 months
Text
BG3 Companions Social Media Headcanons Part 1
I was bored at work and couldn’t stop. 🤣 I’ll make another post with Halsin, Minthara, Jaheira, Minsc, and some NPCs!
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Astarion - Pre-Tav, Astarion's social media is mostly thirst-traps for some kind of nefarious, Cazador-related money-making plot. They barely scoot past the TOS on lewd content. Very little real personal content, anything that isn't a thirst trap is heavily doctored lifestyle content to make it seem like he's living a much more luxurious life than he actually is.
After meeting Tav and getting rid of Cazador, he deletes all of his old accounts and opens up new ones. They're not exactly private, but he's much more careful about who he follows and who can follow him back. The posts become much more genuine. Still a lot of selfies, but they're sexy in the way of a guy just finally living his truth and being comfortable in his own skin. There's more shots of his daily life; waking up with his partner's obnoxious pets strewn across the bed, morning coffee and his current favorite book, new outfits that make him feel more himself. Tav features heavily in most of his posts, and there are probably as many pictures of them as there are of himself.
Karlach - chaos. No rhyme or reason. Lots of parkour and Jack-ass parodies. Constant flood of pictures of her stuffed animal collection. Stupid filters abound. There's several videos of her just flexing. Lumberjack videos. Seven hundred pictures of Tav, tons of selfies together. Videos of her literally sobbing over some cute stuffy she found or a dog she got to pet. "How many times can I say the fuck word before I get suspended." Memes. Memes everywhere.
Lae'zel - She follows three accounts and never posts anything, but somehow she's constantly scrolling through. What does she even do? Her profile picture is still the default. She doesn't have any profile information filled out. It just says "No." Her screen name is just Lae_zel. Every single item in her favorites is a cat video. She has One photo and its a gym selfie. All of her comments seem really mean at first, but they're all weirdly supportive things along the lines of "your teeth are sharp and your visage terrifying".
Shadowheart - total E-girl influencer vibe. Everything is #nofilter. She doesn't need filters. She's god's most perfect princess. You can't even be mad because it's not vanity its just how she Is. Ends everything with Prayer-hands-emoji hashtag Shar'sblessings or Selune'sblessings depending on where she is in that journey. Hairstyle and makeup tutorials and she makes it look so damn easy. "Dye my hair and cut my bangs with me." "Get ready with me" videos nearly every day. Every picture has a comment from Astarion that just says "oh fuck off" because even he can never hope to be as perfect as she is. Or at least that's what her forty-five thousand followers think.
Wyll - The official Blade of the Frontier social media account(s). Fencing videos and promos. "How to polish your horns for newbies" video that's been taken down twenty-seven times for lewd content even though it's literally for polishing actual horns. Accidental thirst traps because damn. Lots of disability advocacy, especially for visual impairments. Weekly Demon/Devil PSAs. Constantly featured in Karlach's vids and vice-versa. Buddy selfies. Once in a while a pic of him with his dad. Pics with Tav are rare, but when he does post them they're the sweetest pictures and he gushes about them for paragraphs. It's a little gross how gushy they are. Astarion comments with vomit emojis and Wyll just replies with an angry face emoji. The purest content. He's so wholesome. Not a swear to be seen. Lots of gentle hype videos. "You've got this. You can do this. I believe in you."
Gale - oh my god he has the most pretentious social media accounts. He's worse than Astarion. "Well, actually" videos with multiple parts because they're too long. Tea and bookshelves. Tara. So many pics of Tara. Tara napping on a book. Tara swatting a fly. Tara in the window. Tara on the kitchen counter. Tara laying in the sun. Tara doing nothing. He has one of those fancy cat terrarium backpacks. Magic tutorials. Mystra simp. Surprisingly few selfies but the ones he has are IMMACULATE. Pretentious book reviews. His only saving grace is that he is HILARIOUS. He's the only one with a reasonable about of pics with Tav as opposed to almost none or way too many, but the captions are always really sweet.
~~~
Part 2 here!
Part 3 here!
Part 4
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