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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years

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This is War - A Crack Fic

All the chaotic, horny energy today had to be channelled somewhere, right?

You can read the fic here on ao3 too :)

Central park was a vision to behold. There were no mundanes within sight. The warlocks had made sure to glamour the entire area just for today.

“We are not shadowhunters,” Ragnor had said. “We don’t half ass things.”

He of course had left immediately after securing the parameter saying he didn’t want to be involved in another one of Magnus’ childish squabbles.

“Welcome everyone,” Simon said, standing on a podium hadn’t been there before. Where was that from?

“Why is he wearing a robe?” Helen whispered to her wife. Aline just shrugged.

“For far too long we have been trying to settle this debate,” Simon said in a deep voice that was not that deep. “But today, we must settle on an answer.”

Jace rolled his eyes. “Can we get to the good part?”

“Jace, you promised you’ll let me have my moment!” Simon hissed at him and then cleared his throat. “Today we will decide the most pressing crisis of our time. Who broke the coffee maker in the Lightwood-Bane household?”

“Wasn’t me,” Magnus shrugged. “If I did, then I would have fixed it immediately. It was obviously Alec.”

“Liar!” Alec gasped. “I love coffee. I love that coffee maker. Why would I break it?”

“Well, to love is to destr-” Jace spoke up.

“Honey, not now,” Clary shushed him.

“Listen, the kids can’t obviously reach the coffee maker yet,” Magnus pointed out. “And I’m not the one who takes out my frustration on inanimate objects. I mean we all know what happened to the kettle in the institute.”

There was a soft murmur from the shadowhunters of the New York institute.

“I WAS HAVING A BAD DAY!” Alec argued.

“Just admit you broke the coffee maker, Alec,” Magnus said.

“I didn’t do it!” Alec replied. “You’ve always been jealous of the coffee maker.”

Magnus snorted. “Jealous? Me? Pfft. You’re the one who is obsessed enough with the darn thing to name it.”

“Treat lightly, Magnus,” Alec said. “Charles is already dead. Why would you-”

“ENOUGH!” Simon said into the microphone. When did he get that? “Like I said, this childish argument has gone for too long. Today we will settle it like the civilized adults that we are.”

Simon bent down and picked up a giant gun.

“PAINTBALL FIGHT, Y’ALL!” he yelled.

Everybody started cheering – with way too much enthusiasm for a Monday morning.

“Alright. Magnus, Alec – whoever loses the game will agree that they broke the coffee maker, and we will put this whole thing behind us and move on. Do you agree to these terms?”

Magnus and Alec looked at each other and then nodded at Simon.

“Alright!” Simon grinned. “Pick your teams!”

Little Rafe ran towards Magnus.

Alec gasped. “Betrayed by my own blood.”

Max ran towards Alec. “We are going to win. I always win.”

Alec grinned at that. “I pick Jace.”

Jace grinned back and ran up to his parabatai. “Ohhhh y’all are so going down.”

Magnus laughed. “We’ll see about that, blondie. I pick Emma.”

“Oh damn,” someone said from the crowd.

“Emma, this is a paintball fight,” Alec pointed out. “You can’t use Cortana.”

“Don’t worry, it’s just for emotional support,” she said with a wicked gleam.

“Alright,” Alec said. “I pick Julian.”

“Isabelle,” Magnus called.

“KIT!” Alec yelled.

“TIBERIUS!” Magnus thundered.

“Count yourself lucky that it’s daytime,” Alec said. “Otherwise, I would have called Lily and she would have destroyed all of you!”

“Already making excuses for your imminent failure?” Magnus chuckled. “I choose Helen and Aline!”

“You can’t pick them both!” Alec argued.

“I can and I just did,” Magnus winked.

“Yeah, Helen and I won’t fighting in opposing sides,” Aline shrugged. “Sorry, Alec.”

“I got the lesbians!” Magnus laughed. “You are going down, Alexander.”

“You wish,” Alec said and whistled. Diego showed up behind him. “I got the Inquisitor!”

“Clarissa,” Magnus said. “The Angel’s chosen one.”

“Babe,” Jace said. “You can’t!”

“Everything is fair in love and war,” Clary shrugged, pointing a gun that was bigger than her. “And this is war, biatch!”

“Kieran!” Alec called and the unseelie king materialised from some corner and ruffled Max’s hair.

“Mark!” Magnus called.

“Cris-”

“Oh no you don’t,” Cristina lifted her finger warningly. She was perched on top of a tree. “I’m not going to be a part of this madness. I got a medicine kit right here. So, if anyone needs me, just holler, okay?”

“And I will excuse myself as the referee of course,” Simon pointed out. “Alright. Standard paintball rules apply. No serious injuries. If you get shot, then you’re off the game. Last team standing wins. And no runes or downworld powers. We are gonna fight mundane style.”

“YAS!” Kit cheered, already cuddling his paintball gun.

“Alright then,” Simon waved a flag. Where did he get THAT from? Did he have a bag of equipment just lying around?

“LET THE BATTLE OF THE COFEE MAKER BEGIN!” Simon yelled.

And then there was chaos.

The warlocks – mostly Ragnor – had changed the area into a paintball area. There were places to hide behind and attack from. It was really elaborate. Maybe Ragnor had more fun designing this space than he had let on.

“Alright,” Alec said to his team. “Let’s keep this simple. Take down anyone you see.”

“Anyone? What about our significant others?” Jace asked. “Do we shoot them down too?”

“Of course not!” Alec chastised. “We are not animals! Is that clear?”

“Yes, Consul!” everyone yelled.

“I DON’T CARE IF THEY ARE YOUR BOO OR YOUR BAE, THEY ARE GOING DOWN,” Magnus said to his team. “FIND YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS FIRST. THEY WILL NOT EXPECT YOU TO STRIKE! USE THAT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE! THERE ARE NO SIGNIFICANT OTHERS. ONLY SIGNIFICANT ENEMIES. IS THAT CLEAR?”

“YES CAPTAIN!” they all cheered.

They all broke out and ran to find their targets.

It wasn’t even five minutes since the game had begun and Kit ran straight into Ty.

“Hey,” Kit waved.

Ty pounced and pinned Kit to the ground. He pointed his gun at his boyfriend.

“Alec said we can’t hurt our significant others,” Kit put up his arms.

“Our captain said no such thing,” Ty replied. “You’re not-…Why are you grinning? I got you pinned down.”

“It’s my favorite place to be,” Kit smiled. “I open my eyes and there you are. You’re beautiful.”

“Stop flirting with me when I’m trying to fight you,” Ty blushed and then held out his hand. “Fine. I didn’t see you and you didn’t see me.”

Kit winked at him and ran away.

Mark and Kieran found each other next. They both held their guns at each other – neither of them shooting.

“This is childish,” Kieran pointed out. “I’m already bored.”

“Wanna go sit on that tree and hang out with Cristina?” Mark winked.

Kieran grinned and the two of them ran away too.

Helen and Aline looked at them and shrugged.

“We could just live stream the whole thing,” Helen pointed out. “Lily would like to see this.”

“I don’t know what that means but if that’s what you want to do and that’s what we shall do,” Aline smiled and and kissed her wife.

“Clary,” Jace said in relief when he saw her. “Thank god! I thought someone-”

There was sudden pain in his chest and he looked down to notice the big green splotch on this t-shirt.

“You...You shot me,” Jace said, sounding hurt.

“Jace, I’ve already stabbed you in the past and you once set me on fire,” Clary rolled her eyes and ran away to find her next target. “Get with it!”

“JULIAN ATTICUS BLACKTHORN,” Emma yelled and ran towards him. “YOU’RE GOING DOWN.”

“Not today,” he winked at her.

Emma blushed furiously just before attacking him. It wasn’t easy. Emma was skilled at close range combat, but Julian knew all her weak spots. So, they were even.

They wrestled for a while before Julian pinned her to the ground. He was breathing hard, his pupils dialed.

“I’m sorry, but this is strictly business,” he shrugged with a mischievous grin.

“But we are still on for tonight, right?” Emma asked. “I finally got a reservation at that Italian place you like.”

Julian’s eyes softened a litte. “You did?”

“Yes,” Emma smiled and hooked her legs on his ankles and flipped them in the blink of an eye. She shot him on the stomach and kissed him on his lips. “See ya at seven!”

Unlike everyone else Isabelle was not going to be fooled or manipulated by her significant other. Thank the Angel Simon wasn’t a part of this. She really liked the feel of the paintball gun in her hands. It was huge, powerful, messy and colorful too. Her kind of weapon.

She ran around the park and took down the others mercilessly. There were only a few of them remaining now – everyone else had already been shot.

But not Isabelle.

She didn’t care about the coffee maker of course. The argument was a ridiculous one.

She just wanted to win.

In the distance, she saw Emma take down Kit and Diego shoot Ty. She was off to destroy the Inquisitor when she had a familiar cry.

“Baby,” she ran to him. “My little blueberry muffin. Are you okay?”

“I fell,” Max sobbed. “Somebody pushed me.”

“Tell me who did this and I will-”

“ISABELLE DON’T!” she heard Magnus yell.

But it was too late.

There was a giant blue splotch on her white blouse.

“Max?” she asked in betrayal.

The boy just giggled and ran away.

In this distance, she now saw Diego covered in red, with a very satisfied Rafael hanging upside down from a tree.

And then the rest of them went feral.

“Surrender, Alexander,” Magnus said an hour later, holding up his gun, which was covered in glitter. “Everyone on your team is down.”

“Well, I don’t see anyone from your team standing either,” Alec pointed out.

“I still am,” Magnus said.

“So am I,” Alec replied.

“Give it up, Alexander!”

“Never,” Alec said adamantly. “This is for the coffee maker. I loved it so much!”

“Then you shouldn’t have broken it,” Magnus argued.

“I didn’t!” Alec said in frustration. “I love it so much because…because that’s the first thing you bought for me.”

“Oh,” Magnus said, the grip on his gun softening lightly.

“I know you have bought me so many expensive gifts but the coffee maker…it’s always been my favorite. I remember walking into your apartment one day, we weren’t even properly back together then, and you just bought it for me.”

“Well, you drink a lot of coffee,” Magnus grumbled.

“Yeah and you noticed. And you got me something so I wouldn’t feel weird in your apartment. You bought it so make me so comfortable. That’s when I realized I really, really like you.”

Magnus blushed a little. “Well, then now it sounds stupid to think you broke the thing.”

“That’s because I didn’t, Magnus!”

“Well, I didn’t either!” Magnus put up his hands. “In fact, the day it broke, I wasn’t even home. I was in the spiral labyrinth all day.”

“I know! I wasn’t home either! I had to go to the Mexico institute for an emergency meeting, so I called Jace to babysit the ki-”

They both stared at each other.

“JACE LIGHTWOOD HERONDALE!” Magnus’ voice boomed across the park. “DID YOU BREAK ALEC’S COFFEE MAKER?”

Jace was sweating. “Listen, I was gonna say something and then y’all started fighting and it was very awkward, and I was looking for the right time and then Simon came up with this idea and I thought 'hey we haven’t done a fun group activity in a long time and so why not?', ya know?”

Magnus and Alec looked at each other.

“Everybody,” Alec called. “Change of plans. Attack my parabatai.”

“AND SHOW NO MERCY!” Magnus yelled.

#I don't know what I did but I did it :)#malec #malec fics #tsc fics #dani writes stuff #tmi #tda #tsc

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inevitably-johnlocked · 3 years

Note

Do you know any good movie aus? Not as in they're actors, but fics written based on movie plots?

Hey Nonny!!

OHHHH! This is fantastic! Because I actually have ANOTHER ask looking for crossovers too, and the list is HUGE. So I’ve used this opportunity to split the list up into two. This one here is for my MFL list, and if anyone has any of their own to suggest, please add them to this list!

So, check out Below!

CROSSOVERS and FUSIONS (Feb 2021) Pt. 1.5 [FICS TO READ]

See Also:

Fairy Tales and Fantasy

TV, Movies, and Books AU (Fantasy Pt. 2)

Wonderful Life AU

Sherlock / Hannibal Crossovers?

Science Fiction / Fantasy

Faes / Faeries

Disney-esque Fics

Moulin Rouge AU

Crossovers and Fusions Pt 1

Two More Miracles by PatPrecieux (T, 221 w., 1 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || Angst With Happy Ending, 221B Ficlet, Temporary Character Death) – Tragedy and miracles go hand in hand.

Here, Though the World Explode, These Two Survive by TheTyger (G, 1,194 w., 2 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || Post-TRF, Ineffable Husbands, Fluff, Reunion, Rings, Hurt/Comfort) – Tomorrow, it would be three years from that day. Three years with no rude text messages, no experiments being conducted while London slept, no body parts in the fridge. And John still sometimes caught himself buying extra milk and looking for cases and making two coffees.

Just the Book by Carenejeans (G, 1,495 w., 1 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || Humour, Aziraphale’s Bookshop) – John's looking for a book. It's Aziraphale's bookshop, but Crowley provides customer service.

The Case of the Missing.... by Beth H (G, 2,601 w., 1 Ch. || Sherlock Crossover || Case Fic) – Crowley has gone missing, and Aziraphale hasn't a clue how to go about finding him. Luckily, help comes from above...or rather, from the side.

The Curious Case of the Missing Antichrist by Aedemiel (G, 2,865 w., 1 Ch. || Sherlock Crossover || Vignette, Case Fic, Desperation, Bad Ideas) – What if Aziraphale and Crowley had consulted the great consulting detective, Sherlock Holmes, about finding Adam Young?

Eye of the Storm by Calais_Reno (G, 2,996 w., 1 Ch. || The Day After Tomorrow AU || Survival, Cold Weather, Boy Scout John, No Major Character Death) – Weather has become the fifth horseman of the apocalypse.

Nice and Accurate Deductions by htebazytook (T, 3,179 w., 1 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || Romance, Humour, Fluff) – Sherlock drags John to a certain bookshop in Soho.

Snake In The Flat by PatPrecieux (T, 3,293 w., 1 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || Magical Realism, Fluff, Humour, Ineffable Husbands) – There can be a snake in the grass, snakes on a plane and now there's a snake in the flat.

The Picture of Sherlock Holmes by CarmillaCarmine (M, 3,306 w., 1 Ch. || Victorian Dorian Gray AU || Angst, Paris, London, Travel, Painting, Major Character Death, Opera, Captain John, First Meetings) – Sherlock Holmes, a rich and frivolous man, after a lifetime of debauchery finally falls in love. His heart chooses Captain Watson.

The Old Town by a_different_equation (T, 3,573 w., 1 Ch. || Hans Christian Anderson Fusion || Magical Realism, Christmas, Fairy Tale Elements, Love Stories, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Museums, Sweet Sherlock) – Once upon a time there were two boys. This is the story how once upon December, they found the missing Christmas Spirit, true love and new beginnings. A Queer fairytale for all seasons.

Holmes vs. Harkness by coinin (T, 3,960 w., 1 Ch. || Torchwood / HHGTTG Fusion || Crack, Mystrade) – In which Captain Jack gets in a little over his head and is introduced to the myriad joys of bureaucracy, Mycroft is smug, the Guide offers up some helpful advice, John Watson doesn't share, and, in a strange turn of events, Jack doesn't get laid even once.

Perfect by TrufflesTheMushroom (T, 3,984 w., 1 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || The Apocalypse) – Crowley and Aziraphale have made a huge mistake. It's the end of the world and it all boils down to one fight. Crowley has picked John Watson. Aziraphale has picked Sherlock Holmes.

Limbo by Calais_Reno (T, 4,070 w., 1 Ch. || Good Omens Crossover || Waiting Rooms, Ineffable Bureaucracy, Paperwork, Explosions, Apocalypse, Second Chances, Declarations of Love, Nobody Dies) – Ordinarily Sherlock would be quite impatient by now with all this pointless waiting (for what?), but at the moment he feels as if he has all the time in the world.

The Baker Street Flat by Anonymous (PG-13, 5,000-20,000 w., 7 Parts || Lake House Crossover || Angst, Romance, LIVEJOURNAL Comments Fic) – John’s pretty sure it’s a sign of mental imbalance — of which he has been all too frequently accused of late — that he is actually entertaining the possibility that he is communicating with a total stranger two years in the future via the magic mail slot on the door of his new flat. He certainly won’t be mentioning this at next week’s session. On his way out the door to interview for a part-time position at a local surgery, another meeting where he has no intention of mentioning his most recent hobby, he drops a fairly sarcastic note: If you’re really from 2012, is the world about to end?

In the Shadows by Laur (M, 5,029 w., 1 Ch. || Loose Shutter Island Fusion || Disturbing Imagery, Psychological, Angst, Major Character Death, Grief/Trauma) – Do you believe in ghosts? When Sherlock’s eyes snap to him they are anguished.

come be my april fool by a_different_equation (M, 6,473 w., 1 Ch. || Great British Bake Off AU || Writer!Sherlock, Est. Rel., Fluff / Humour, Baking, Marriage Proposal, Military Kink, Domestics, POV John, Romance, Sherlock Wears Glasses, Sweet Sherlock, Bookstores, Queer Themes) – After leaving ‘The Great British Bake Off’, Sue Perkins has written a book about Victorian baking. Tonight, on April 1st, she is reading at ‘The Bard’, Mike Stamford’s bookstore in central London. It is the exact same spot where John Watson, battered and bruised, had learned all about his magnificent bastard – one Mr. Sherlock Holmes, famous gay crime fiction writer – for the first time. A story about found family, DRAMAtical lesbians, how to react when your boyfriend has a military kink but he doesn't want to act on it, oh, and popping the question. Sequel to 'i read your book, you magnificent bastard'. Part 2 of Magnificent Bastard!AU

The Babadook by CatieBrie (T, 6,886 w., 1 Ch. || Babadook Fusion || Post-TRF, Horror, Demonic Possession, Violence, Halloween, Grief, Angst with Happy Ending) – “A children’s book,” John mutters as he flips it open. The pages are scrawled with beautiful charcoal lines and thick black ink. The cover, bright red, edges the open pages and something tugs at the back of John’s brain. It’s a familiar feeling, black and tarrish and thick in his thoughts. He shakes it off and picks the book up off his bed, turning so that he can sit on the edge and spread the book out across his knees. If it’s in a word or it’s in a look, you can’t get rid of the Babadook. He turns the page, ignoring the pressure building beneath his chest. There’s a closet on one page; paper doors meant to be opened by the reader flutter as John reads the text on the other page.

What To Do With An Atypical Animal Within by HarveyDangerfield & swimsalot (E, 7,804 w. || Harry Potter AU || Animagus, Porn With A Little Plot, Tail Porn) – Sherlock is determined to be an animagus. But what happens when it isn't a fox or a horse or a dog he's turning into?

The Lonely by elwinglyre (E, 7,888 w., 1 Ch. || Twilight Zone AU || Major Character Death, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Firsts, Sad Ending) – Witness if you will a distant planet with a dungeon made of desert sand and mountain stone. This planet holds one inmate, a man wrongly accused, serving a life sentence. His only solace, his notebook and the thought of the day when the supply ship brings him a pardon. Instead, salvation comes to John Watson in a large box and a visitor from The Twilight Zone.

Friend by esama (G, 7,909 w., 1 Ch. || Harry Potter Crossover || Character Death, Kid Fic) – Sherlock finds the skull when he's five.

Spell It Out by prettysailorsoldier (M, 8,344 w., 1 Ch. || Harry Potter Fusion || Teenlock, Christmas, Love Potion/Spell, Pining Sherlock) – Remaining at Hogwarts over break has become something of a tradition for Sherlock and John, staying behind together ever since their very first year, but, when Irene throws a gift of doctored coconut ice into the mix, plans quickly change, even if John doesn't. Part 6 of 25 Days of Johnlock

The Long Goodbye by elbereth (M, 8,367 w., 1 Ch. || Time Traveller’s Wife AU || Doomed Timelines, Time Travel) – Sherlock travels in time. The ending is known even before they meet, yet they choose to live this love. One of them knows the past, one of them knows the future, yet their deepest secret is safe from each other. Limited time, but unlimited love.

Sugar & Spice by Ttime42 (T, 8,476 w., 1 Ch. || Great British Bake Off AU || First Kiss, Baking) – Sherlock Holmes and John Watson compete on The Great British Bake Off.

Pygmalion by ancientreader (T, 9,136 w., 2, Ch. || Pygmalion AU || Magical Realism) – The spell to turn a statue into an animate being has been illegal in the UK for a hundred and seventy years when the -- body? -- is found on Hampstead Heath. It changes everything.

Am I the Current (Tiger) King of England? by Dee_Laundry (T, 9,360 w., 1 Ch. || Tiger King Fusion || Post-S4, Dreams, Friendship, John’s Sexuality, Sherlock’s Sexuality, Quarantine/CoVID-19, Past Character Death, Mentions of Violence, Mentions of Dom/Sub, First Kiss) – “I had the weirdest dream last night,” John said. Seven times.

I Could Try by Arcwin (T, 9,583 w., 5 Ch. || Greek Mythology Crossover || Post-TRF, Orpheus and Eurydice Myth, POV John, Pining John, BAMF John, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Horror, Angst with Happy Ending) – John is grieving Sherlock's death post Reichenbach until one day, he sees the violin case, and something inside him tells him to pick it up. Crossover between BBC Sherlock and the Greek tragedy Orpehus and Eurydice, wherein Eurydice is killed for her beauty and taken to the Underworld. Orpheus, being the son of Apollo (the God of Music and Medicine) travels to the Underworld to convince (via playing his lyre) Hades and Persephone to let Eurydice go. Orpheus then must travel with Eurydice behind him, not looking back, until they exit to the land of the living.

Puzzlebox by standbygo (E, 9,867 w., 5 Ch. || Hellraiser Fusion || True Love, Supernatural Elements, Psychological Horror, First Kiss, Post S2, Angst with Happy Ending) – A love story with horror. A horror story with a happy ending.

you are a paradigm by 1electricpirate (M, 10,013 w. || Harry Potter AU || Wizard!John / Muggle!Sherlock, Magic) – Sometimes, only sometimes, when Sherlock is very far away and absolutely guaranteed not to return for at least three hours, John sits on the sofa and lets the tea make itself. In which John is (reluctantly) a wizard, Mycroft is (apparently) omniscient, and Sherlock is (surprisingly) oblivious. Part 1 of More Things Than Are Dreamt Of

Already Gone by johnwatso (M, 10,078 w., 8 Ch. || Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Fusion || Non-Linear Narrative, Memory Loss, Ambiguous / Open Ending) – Dear Mr Greg Lestrade, Sherlock Holmes has had John Watson erased from his memory. Please never mention their relationship to him again. Thank you, Lacuna Inc.

A Real Deal by toyhto (M, 10,339 w., 1 Ch. || Black Mirror-Inspired || Science Fiction, Post-TRF, Canon Divergence) – Please be real, he thought and pulled Sherlock closer.

You Don't Need Wings to Fly by Laiquilasse (T, 11,326 w., 11 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Bullying, Angels, Suicidal Ideation, Christmas) – John, an angel, is sent from Heaven to help a desperate Sherlock Holmes by showing him what life would have been like if he had never existed.

Backup Copies by etothepii (M, 13,332 w., 3 Ch. || Dollhouse Crossover || Major Character Death) – When John dies, Sherlock doesn't know what to do. But Mycroft does.

Silent Night by khorazir (M, 15,060 w., 1 Ch. || Codebreaker / WWII / Imitation Game-Inspired AU || Care Fic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Dev. Rel., Reunion, PTSD John, Christmas) – It’s Christmas Eve 1944, and Sherlock Holmes has received his most precious gift already: after a long, dangerous deployment, Surgeon Captain John Watson of the Royal Navy has unexpectedly returned from the front. As if this weren’t enough, there’s a case. Both events make for a night full of promise, excitement, and the difficult task of getting reacquainted with the man Sherlock hasn’t seen in three years and feared he’d lost forever. Part 2 of Enigma

In Arduis Fidelis by Raliena (T, 18,628 w., 10 Ch. || GI Joe Crossover || Captivity, Surgery, BAMF John, John “Three Continents” Watson, POV John Watson, Prisoner of War, Cobra - Freeform, soldier John, John-centric, Doctor John Watson, John is a Very Good Doctor, Violence) – Once upon a time John was a Soldier and a Doctor. And he was known John or Doc or Doctor. But things change. And he *earned* his right to the name “Three Continents Watson”. Part 1 of the Three Continents Watson series

Serendipity by Calais_Reno (T, 18,222 w., 3 Ch. || Serendipity Fusion || Christmas, Romance, Coincidences, First Meetings, Misunderstandings, New York City, Fate and Destiny) – A bit of New York Christmas fluff, based on the 2001 movie.

Magnificent by esama (T, 19,477 w., 1 Ch. || Harry Potter Crossover || Crossover Pairing) – The birth of the Ministry of Magic and his relationship with the British Government.

Much Ado About Nothing or Get Over Here and Kiss Me Already! by MorganeUK (NR, 19,847 w., 13 Ch. || Much Ado About Nothing AU || Mutual Pining, Angst, Lestrolly) – AU in modern time where the Holmes' are a powerful noble family, Mycroft is the chief of defences and Sherlock is working for secret service. Lestrade is a high rank officer in the army. Ms Hudson is an old Lady that took care of her niece and nephew Molly and John since their youth. Part 1 of the Sherlock / Shakespeare series

Dead Letter Office by a_different_equation (M, 20,364 w., 15 Ch. || ‘Bartleby’ Fusion / Office Setting AU || Different First Meeting, Epistolary, John's Blog, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pre-Canon, John Watson is Sherlock's Boss, PTSD John, Military Backstory, Writer John, Drug Use, Texting) – John Watson comes home from the war, gets a new job and meets Sherlock Holmes through Mike Stamford. Same tale since 1891, except this time it’s 2008, John is Sherlock’s boss, and they work together at the Dead Letter Office in London. It's not a love story, until it finally is.

When John Met Sherlock by MorganeUK (T, 21,293 w., 10 Ch. || When Harry Met Sally AU || Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Developing Relationship, Faking It, Mutual Pining, Background Lestrolly, Fluff and Smut, Rom-Com) – At first they thought that friendship was impossible. Then meet again and become friends. After dinners, texts, cases and discussions they become more, best friends. Faking orgasm before falling on the floor together to get real one... Then going back to pushing each other away again... Before falling in love!But not necessarily in this order.

You're The One by Mazarin221b (E, 21,768 + w. || WiP || Underage Dirty Dancing Fusion || Period Typical Homophobia, Sexism, Angst, Fluff) – John Watson is seventeen years old and has his life planned out: medical school, a commission, and an opportunity to change the world. He just has to get through three weeks at The Copper Beeches - a resort owned by one of his father's patients - with his annoying sister and his perfect parents before he's off to Cambridge. But John has a secret he's trying desperately to keep, and, it seems, so is just about everyone around him, including the incredibly gorgeous and amazing dance teacher, Sherlock Holmes, and his partner Irene Adler. Too bad Jim Moriarty seems to know precisely what everyone is hiding.

Into the Multiverse by AnAnYaH (M, 21,958 w., 18 Ch. || Avengers / Sherlock / Dr. Strange Crossover || Multiverses, Everstrange, Parentlock / Teenage Rosie, Sad Sherlock, Angry Sherlock, Sherlock/John Fight, Magic, Strange John, First Kiss, Whipping, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Threats of Rape / Non-Con, Mental Anguish, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending) – Nothing lasts forever. I am beginning to think it's the same for you and me. In a world where we don't co-exist how long will it take to finally break us ? Or are we already broken in need of a fix ?A multi-chapter fic where Sherlock and John had to leave their lives to save the world from universal threats and pursue as Doctor Strange and Everett Ross.Will they ever reunite? Part 1 of the Everstrange series

Addicted to a Certain Lifestyle by KatsatheGraceling (M, 22,751 w., 1 Ch. || James Bond Crossover || Bondlock, BAMF John, Assassin John, Q is a Holmes, Clueless Sherlock, Omniscient Mycroft) – The one where John is a BAMF assassin. With an affinity for cuddly warm jumpers.

Impossible Improbable Truth by KaraRenee (M, 24,308 w., 9 Ch. || Labyrinth AU) – John and Sherlock take a case investigating the disappearance of a teenage girl and her toddler half brother. What they find is an impossible adventure that leads them on a journey of discovery of their sexuality.

The Art Of Seduction: A Study In Pulling by flawedamythyst (M, 25,279 w., 1 Ch. || Queer As Folk Inspired AU || John/OMC, Additional Tags to Be Added Upon Reading) – Sherlock ran a website called The Science Of Seduction, on which he gave advice on the best ways to get laid, wrote blog entries detailing the results of his various sexual 'experiments' and generally contributed to the stereotype of 'every gay man is a sex-mad playboy'. John avoided the thing like the plague. AU in which Sherlock treats sex like he does crime in canon. Inspired by Queer As Folk UK, but it very quickly went its own way. Part 1 of The Art Of Seduction

False Advertising by ravenscar (E, 27,722 w. || Office AU / Devil Wears Prada Inspired || Victor Trevor, Flashbacks, Hurt / Comfort, Angst with Happy Ending, Younger John/Older Sherlock, Marriage Proposal) – Sherlock is John’s boss and mentor at an advertising agency. Can they find love in the cut-throat workplace?

A Wizarding Barista's Field Guide to Seducing a Muggle by paradigmfinch (T, 29,344 w., 9 Ch || Harry Potter Coffee Shop AU || Wizard John, Muggle Sherlock, Bisexual John, Flirting, First Dates, Secret Identity) – To help pay for Healing tuition, John Watson gets a job at a coffee shop in Muggle London, where he soon sets his sights on a particularly gorgeous customer. John's seen plenty of Muggle films. How different can it really be to woo a Muggle?

Time Of My Life by fiveainley_ohmy (E, 29,719 w., 8 Ch. || Dirty Dancing Fusion || Bisexual John, Dancing, Gay/Demi Sherlock) – John Watson takes his alcoholic sister to a summer camp in attempt to rehabilitate her. He didn't expect to fall in love with the dance instructor.

Through Dangers Untold by hogwartswitch (E, 32,003 w., 13 Ch. || Labyrinth AU) – The Goblin King has fallen in love with John Watson and visits him in dreams. But the evil wizard who cursed the Goblin King cannot allow that to continue. Will John survive the labyrinth? Or will he become a lost goblin like all the rest?

Unsettled by AxeMeAboutAxinomancy (E, 33,879 w., 10 Ch. || HIs Dark Materials AU || Daemons, Dark Themes, Non-Con) – Sherlock's dæmon hadn't settled. Once John realised that, so much made sense. Though so much else didn't, because it practically wasn't possible. Part 1 of the The Utmost Edge of Hazard series

The Last Companion by standbygo (E, 34,101 w., 14 Ch. || Firefly Fusion || Prostitution, Case Fic, Falling in Love, Angst with Happy Ending, Slow Burn, BAMF John, Discussions of Non Con But Doesn’t Happen) – Thirty years after the Miranda Wars, there is peace, both on the Rim and the Core planets. There are a number of old social mores still in place, such as the Order of Companions, but there is a sense that even such respected practices are coming to an end… Sherlock is a Companion - the best Companion on Persephone. With a bit of detective work on the side, of course. Then he meets a man named John Watson, encounters a series of bizarre cases, and finds his world is getting turned upside down.

The Great Bakerstreet Bake Off by Elphen (M, 38,058 w., 8 Ch. || Great British Bake Off AU || Caring Sherlock, Sweet John, Fluff, Baking, Accidental Touching, Pining, BJ’s, Banter and Bickering, Oblivious Characters) – John has decided to watch The Great British Bake Off this year and he is determined to do so. As Sherlock joins him, he is certain that that plan is ruined. He's in for a surprise when he's allowed to watch it but the real shock comes when Sherlock decides they ought to bake themselves. What's more, they should bake what they make in the Bake Off. John's not so sure it's a good idea but when his insides flutter at the thought, he finds it hard to complain.

Toe to Toe by standbygo (E, 44,971 w., 26 Ch. || White Nights Crossover || Ballet/Dance, Slow Burn, Spies/Secret Agents, Angst with Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Kiss/Time, Shower Sex) – Sherlock Holmes is an international ballet star. After a favour for his brother goes south, he finds himself trapped in a foreign country, with a man named John Watson who could be an enemy... or an ally.

Silence by halloa_what_is_this (T, 44,993 w., 13 Ch. || The Piano Fusion || Victorian Sherlock, Dub Con, Voyeurism, Permanent Mutilation, Johniarty, Mute John) – In 1850, John is a mute young man forced to marry to save his father from indebtedness. His sister as his interpreter and his piano to keep him company, he travels to London to live with his husband James Moriarty. Without John's consent, James sells the piano to his friend Sherlock Holmes, who only asks for lessons from John in return. The lessons turn into a power play between the two when Sherlock proposes a deal: John may earn his piano back one key at a time, certain conditions attached. Part 1 of the Aborted Wings series

Crime is of the Essence by K8BNimble (M, 45,569 w., 18 Ch. || Harry Potter Crossover || Mystery, Slash) – When a man he hasn’t seen in almost ten years appears in his home with a man he thought was dead for twenty years, Harry Potter knew his evening had just gotten complicated. Written for Snarry Swap 2011. Named Hot Rec by "The Daily Snitch"1/18/2011. Snarry, past Harry/Sherlock. Long plotty mystery with light graphic slash sex.

Always 1895 by standbygo (E, 45,901 w., 19 Ch. || Oxford Time Travel AU || Time Travel, Friends to Lovers, Case Fic, Victorian, Period-Typical Homophobia, Pining, First Kiss/Time, First Meetings, Slow Burn, Angst With Happy Ending) – Time travelling historian John Watson goes to Victorian era England to study, and meets detective Sherlock Holmes. He finds himself torn between the work he was sent to do, the exciting life of solving crimes, and the extraordinary Holmes himself.

Curled (A Tangled AU) by crimsonwinter (G, 46,330 w., 13 Ch. || Tangled AU || Alternating POV) – Sherlock lives a limited life, high in a tower, and all he's wanted in eighteen years of isolation is to someday break free and see the floating lights. Somehow, a string of events leads him to John Watson, a surprisingly kind thief who steals his heart. Will they escape the selfish advances of Moriarty, Sherlock's paternal guardian, and will Sherlock find the meaning behind the silver lanterns?

The Boy Who Balanced on the Train Tracks by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (E, 54,894 w., 5 Ch. || Harry Potter Crossover || John/Snape, Period Typical Homophobia, Character Death, Underage Sexual Attraction, Sexual Awakening, Time Turner, First Time, Poverty, Domestic Abuse, Death Eaters, Canon-Typical Violence, Angst with Happy / Bittersweet Ending) – Every year, on the 2nd of May, John Watson dreams of long black hair.

Say You’ll Stay With Me by justacookieofacumberbatch (E, 63,349 w., 21 Ch. || Pretty Woman Fusion || Prostitution) – It was just supposed to be an ordinary business trip, but when John’s car stalls out on Hollywood Boulevard, he meets someone who just might change his life.

Whispers in Corners by esama (T, 64,402 w., 10 Ch. || Harry Potter Crossover || Deathly Hallows, Crossover Pairing) – Everything started with a stumble - his new life in a new world as well as his surprisingly successful career as a medium.

Masters of Ink by Indybaggins (E, 67,382 w., 7 Ch. || Ink Master Tattoo TV Show AU || Angst, Banter, Body Modification, Cheating, Desire, Developing Relationship, Disability, Falling in Love, Feels, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Married John, Past Drug Addiction, Pining, Requited Love, Sex, Slow Burn, Smoking, Tattoo Artist John, Tattoo Artist Sherlock) – First-meeting-on-a-reality-show AU, Ink Master edition! There is expert tattooing, slightly less expert flirting, and two men falling hard. But John is married, and they can’t all win.

The Craving in Between by love_in_mind_palace (E, 69,349 w., 16 Ch. || Wedding Planner AU || Infidelity, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, Sexting & Texting, Alternating POV, Mary is Not Nice) – Sherlock Holmes, The wedding Consultant. Picky about his projects and a nightmare to work with. Rejects ninety percent of the couples after just having a look at them and can predict how long a marriage will last. But when unassuming, plain, John Watson reluctantly limps his way in his office, with his more than enthusiastic fiancée, Mary Morstan, instead of dismissing the ill-assorted couple on the spot, he promptly decides that the project, and the groom.. are definitely worth working on.

The Loss of Flesh and Soul by deuxexmycroft (M, 69,712 w., 6/8 Ch. || WiP || Silence of the Lambs Crossover || Serial Killers, One-Sided Relationship) – Five years after John Watson puts the murderous Sherlock Holmes behind bars, a vicious copycat killer emerges. A reluctant John is pulled out of retirement to seek the expertise of the only man who can help, a man who has developed an unsettling obsession with John himself. Part 1 of The Loss of Flesh and Soul

The Vampires of London by consultingdetective (E, 72,660 w., 21 Ch. || Dracula AU || Pining Sherlock, Army Doctor John, Sharing a Bed, Porn With Feelings, Plot Twists) – Over one hundred years after the first battle, a series of murders have caught the attention of London's police force and Sherlock Holmes. While most of the city has forgotten the vampire that once walked its streets, the descendants of the Van Helsing, Harker, and Seward families have not.

Save Me or Let Me Drown by GubraithianFire (E, 72,986 w., 16 Ch. || Shameless AU || Dysfunctional Family, Alcoholism, Recreational Drug Use, Angst, Humour, Clubbing, Bipolar Disorder, Custody Battle, Mutual Pining, Family Fluff, Smut, Handcuffs, Anal Sex, Shower Sex, Rimming, Come Shot, Angst With Happy Ending) – How Sherlock escaped from his family, John sacrificed everything to his, and how, together, they built their own. Part 1 of the The Watsons series

This Is Your Song by agirlsname (E, 79,990 w., 19 Ch. || Moulin Rouge Fusion || Prostitute Sherlock, Poet John, Acting, Singing, Dancing, Writing, Poetry, Musical, Song Fic, Heavy Angst, Unreliable Narrator, Sherlock is French, Love at First Sight, UST, First Kiss/Time, Frottage, Coming in Pants, Anal Sex, Switchlock, Clothed Sex, Crossdressing, Secret Relationship, Forbidden Love, Jealousy, Terminal Illnesses, Grief/Mourning, Breakup/Makeup Sex, Past Drug Use, Attempted Rape, Canon-Typical Violence)– When John Watson is invalided home from the army in 1895, he moves to Paris to rediscover his writing and find a new meaning in life. His old friend Stamford invites him into a group of artist friends, and suddenly John finds himself auditioning to write a show for the famous brothel across the street. There, he meets the most beautiful man he’s ever seen - Sherlock, the star of the Moulin Rouge. But Sherlock is already promised to the investor of the show, the rich Duke Moriarty.

Sherlock, P.I. by Callie4180 (E, 83,264 w., 11 Ch. || Magnum P.I. Fusion || Past Relationships, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Canon-Typical Violence, Stalking, Creepy Moriarty) – For the Fall TV Sherlock fusion project. Sherlock, P.I. is an American television show that follows the exciting adventures of genius private investigator Sherlock Homes and his friends as they live their lives on the beautiful island of Oahu in Hawaii. Sherlock solves crimes as he wrestles with the ghosts and demons of his past.

Saudade by tunteeton (E, 96,952 w., 30 Ch. || After That Very Much AU || Case Fic, Non-Con Drug Use, Dubious Science, Canon Compliant up to THoB, John’s in Denial, Sub!Sherlock, Fake Non-Con Drug Use, Dom/Sub Relationship, Mutual Masturbation, Oral Sex, Kidnapping, Threatened Torture, Mary is Not Nice, Anal, Fluff, Non-Con Domming, Verbal Abuse, Slapping) – saudade (port.): a deep and melancholy longing for something or someone that is gone and not coming back. Homesickness, an emptiness in one’s soul, a love that remains after the loved one dies. John loses Sherlock, gains Sherlock and learns to never, ever, ever pray. Part 1 of the The Untranslatables series

Rosethorne by suitesamba (M, 98,888 w., 28 Ch. || Secret Garden AU || Injured Sherlock / John, Recovery, First Times, Minor Character Death, Disability, Past Domestic Abuse [Mary/OMC]) – John Watson, WWII army doctor, is injured in the line of duty and can no longer wield a scalpel. Sherlock Holmes, Britain’s best code-breaker, is side-lined by his own devastating injury. In a work inspired by Frances Hodgson Burnett’s “The Secret Garden,” the two men must find meaning and purpose in a world which seems to have taken away all they hold most dear. But of course, it really hasn’t.

Cake and Other Sins by Indybaggins (E, 100,670 w. || Great British Bakeoff AU || Alternate First Meeting, Angst, Baking, Desire, Disability, Incest (Holmescest/Holmescest with John), Masturbation, Falling in Love, Oral, Outdoor Sex, Past Drug Use, Poisoning, Voyeurism) – Sherlock and John meet as competing bakers on The Great British Bake Off. There’s intense baking, lush recipes and enticing food. Mycroft, guilt, past sins in chocolate and gingerbread. And love. That too.

Fallen Through Time by susandwrites (E, 102,040+ w., 39/? Ch. || Outlander Fusion / Victorian AU || WIP || Time Travel, First Meetings, Meet-Cute, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex/Fingering, Riding Crops, Rough Sex, Floor Sex, Breath Play, Light BDSM, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Switching, Romance, Sex to Love) – Inspired by my love of Outlander, but not exactly an Outlander AU. Sherlock Holmes, the world's only consulting detective, finds himself in Victorian London while investigating a murder. The first person he meets is Doctor John Watson, formerly of the Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers and his world is irrevocably altered.

Reichenbach Falls - Déjà vu by VeeTheRee (M, 180,436+ w., 29/303 Ch. || WiP ||Gravity Falls / Multifandom AU || Alternate First Meeting, Gay Sherlock, Mutual Pining, Unilock, Summer Romance/Love, Fluff, Insecure Sherlock, Villain Mary, First Kiss, Slow Burn, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Canadian John, French Canadian Lestrade, Insecure Sherlock, Mystery, Domestic Fluff, Developing Relationship Summer Love, Light Angst, BAMF! John, Case Fic) – Two Canadians, two Brits studying in Canada, and an upkeeper walk into a Mystery Shack…. and live there. Summer holidays are here, and the step-siblings, Irene Adler and Sherlock Holmes, find themselves in a boring town called Reichenbach Falls, Oregon, USA. It isn’t as boring as it seems, however, once Sherlock stumbles upon a mystery journal, and the author is unknown. The journal contains ciphers, a strange colour wheel, and information about magical creatures that are said to be looming in the Northwestern forests. With mysteries to solve in hand, he and Irene set out to get to the roots of the town, and the abrupt disappearance of the author of the journal. But they’re not alone - John Watson, quite the handsome nephew of the Mystery Shack owner Greg Lestrade, is on their side to help out, plus mess with Sherlock’s feelings, in a good way. Shenanigans, romance, fun, danger, and deductions ensue. Oh, and there’s also occasional SuperWhoLock and two dorky Winchester brothers to spark up the action later on. Part 1 of the Reichenbach Falls series

To the Sticking Place by blueink3 (E, 121,973 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Musical Theatre AU || Showmance, Friends to Lovers, Bickering, UST / RST, Fluff, Virgin Sherlock, BAMF John, New York City / Broadway) – Renowned Shakespearean actor Sherlock Holmes has finally burned all of his bridges in the theatre industry save for his constant director, Greg Lestrade. John Watson has made a name for himself in the musical theatre circuit, but age and injury are working against him. Can they reinvent themselves for an all-male Macbeth without killing one another? Part 1 of the Screw Your Courage series

Bel Canto by bendingsignpost (T, 127,481 w., 16 Ch. || Phantom of the Opera AU || Secret Identity, Sherlock’s Violin, Operas, Aristocracy, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Disguise, Inheritance, Genderqueer Character, Classical Music, Singing) – After years of waiting for wealthy patrons to faint, Dr John Watson discovers a far more interesting patient in the opera house basement.

Welcome to Silent Hill by Cleo2010 (M, 130,227 w., 37 Ch. || Silent Hill Fusion || POV First Person Sherlock, Unrequited Love, Psychological Horror, Violence / Gore, Monsters, Nudity, Drug Use, Harm to Children, Cults, Distressing Imagery, Torture, Death) – John is missing. When Sherlock receives a text summoning him to Silent Hill he's intent on reclaiming his friend but the town has other ideas. Our detective must battle through a world shaped by his own troubled psyche as he uncovers the town's secrets, attempts to find John and hunt down Jim Moriarty. Part 1 of the Welcome to Silent Hill series

Drift Compatible by J_Baillier (E, 130,380 w., 26 Ch. || Pacific Rim Fusion || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Alternate First Meeting, Angst, Family Drama, Accidental Telepathic Voyeurism, Martial Arts, Sci-Fi, Internalised Homophobia, Rubbish Siblings, Army Doctor John, Medical H/C, Bullying, Neurodiversity, PTSD, Drug Use, Depression, Mourning, Adventure, Hurt/Comfort, UST/URT) – A washed out war hero struggling with his past. A prodigy who wants nothing to do with his family legacy. Both are looking for something—and someone—worth fighting for in a world where human civilisation is constantly under threat.

Out There by DiscordantWords (T, 131,695 w., 10 Ch. || X-Files Fusion || Slow Burn, UST, Case Fic, Government Conspiracy, Aliens, UFOs, Mutants, Mutual Pining, First Kiss, Coma) – FBI Special Agent John Watson, medical doctor and army veteran, is assigned to assist eccentric genius Sherlock Holmes with paranormal investigations on the X-Files project.

Omens On Baker Street Series by WorseOmens (NR, 155,294+ w. across 3 works || Series WiP || Sherlock / Good Omens Crossover || Post S4 Sherlock, BAMF Aziraphale, Soft Crowley, Jealous Crowley, Fluff, Angst, General Idiocy, Misunderstandings, Crimes, Humour, Pining, Crimes, Magical Shenanigans, Unlikely Friendships, ?Slow Burn, True Forms, Ineffable Dads, South Downs) – Sherlock and John are no longer the only crime-solving disaster duo in London. After Sherlock unknowingly wrongs a demon, he finds himself with two mysterious rivals in the detective scene. For Crowley and Aziraphale, it's just a bit of fun, but they end up learning more about human nature than they bargained for.

Skeletons by flawedamythyst (T, 174,262 w. across 3 works || Nightmare Before Christmas Fusion || Implied Character Death) – Sherlock's refusal to talk about his past hides far more skeletons than John could ever have guessed at. Halloween-esque AU.

In the Deep, Where Dark Things Sleep by HardlyFair (M, 184,979 w., 26 Ch. || Scorpio Races AU || Graphic Violence, 1960′s, Slow Burn, Past Drug Use, Bed Sharing, Water Horses, Folklore, First Kiss/Time, Horror Elements, Vet!John, Protective John, Magical Realism, Horse Racing, Mutual Pining, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort) – The closer time crawls to November, the more water horses the Scorpio Sea spits out. The colder Thisby becomes. Sherlock Holmes is an islander - completely surrounded by the water. John Watson, he knows, comes from the mainland and lives for the Races. On the first of November, Sherlock will race. The man holding steady by his side is someone he never expects. A Scorpio Races AU (Maggie Stiefvater), but no knowledge of the book needed.

Rom-com adaptations... Series by MorganeUK (T, 211,229+ w across 8 works || Series WiP || Assorted Crossovers || Rom-Coms, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Friendship, Additional Tags Per Story) – Mostly Johnlock with Mystrade or Lestrolly. If you want a movie to be johnlocked, let me know :-) Each story is completely different from the other!

Enigma by khorazir (M, 289,667 w., 23 Ch. || Codebreaker / WWII / Imitation Game-Inspired AU || Case Fic, Espionage, Period-Typical Homophobia / Sexism, Pining Sherlock, Inexperienced / VirginSherlock, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Non-Graphic Violence) – It’s the autumn of 1941, war is raging in Europe, German U-boats are raiding Allied convoys in the Atlantic, the Luftwaffe is bombing English cities, and the cryptographers at Bletchley Park are working feverishly to decode their enemies' encrypted communications. One should consider this challenge and distraction enough for capricious codebreaker Sherlock Holmes. But the true enigmas are yet waiting to be deciphered: an unbreakable code, a strange murder, and the arrival of Surgeon Captain John H. Watson of the Royal Navy.

Over/Under Series by khorazir (M, 319,561 w. across 5 works || Cabin Pressure Crossover || Post-S2 / Reichenbach, ReunionFriendship, Angst, Humour, Pining, Cycling, Mountains, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Dev. Rel., Case Fic, First Kiss, Pining, Family Issues, Inexperienced Sherlock) – After his Fall, Sherlock travels the world to destroy what remains of James Moriarty's criminal empire. When things don't go according to plan and he finds himself in desperate need of a discreet means of travel, cue MJN Air ...

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #crossovers and fusions #to read #Anonymous #long post #e-rated fics

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botwstoriesandsuch · 3 years

Text

Melting Ice and Warmth and Words

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Teba x Saki, 8505 Words

I made this fic for @zzariyo for my server’s gift exchange event! Hope you enjoy, I had a lot of fun with it :3

In which Harth is the gay best friend(TM), Teba is a god damn fool, and I become a lesbian for Saki. Also this was slightly based on a post about how Saki threatens Teba with a sword.

This is the tumblr version but check it out on AO3 if you prefer

- - - - - - - - - -

"Historians probably hate you," Harth mumbled, as he tested the weight of his bow. "This is, what, the third time you've stolen priceless artifacts?"

Teba continued flipping through the pages. The sound of rustling parchment melded with the crackling fire behind him. A soothing mix of leather and pine aromas filled the Flight Range.

"It's not stealing if no one knows it exists," Teba countered, not bothering to look up.

"Yet."

He shrugged. "Yet."

Another sigh filled the air, and the two of them went back to their respective preparations. Harth set down his Swallow Bow and went to fill up two sets of quivers, while Teba continued poring through the personal history of a dead Champion.

It had been a day or two since he had found yet another artifact from a century ago. The depths of the Flight Range, and the expanse of the not-so-well-kept records in the library hid all too many secrets, to which Teba had taken full advantage.

This journal was worn, cracked smoky leather showing its fragile age. Although in comparison to its two predecessors—Revali's Diary and The Great Revali's Diary respectively—this journal was in much better condition. Other than by the contents of the pages itself, Teba had discovered you could decipher the chronological order of the diaries based on how sophisticated the titles were. The more extravagant ones being more recent, that is.

The warrior let out a huff after perusing through another paragraph of dark, cursive writing. He continued digging through the pages with an aura of frustration. Harth, ever one to press his buttons, glanced back.

"So if you don't plan to inform everyone else about your latest finding, yet, what exactly are you doing with it now?"

Another turn of the page. "The same thing I've done before. Searching for clues."

A smirk formed on Harth's face. "Hm. You know these days it's hard for you to read a cookbook properly without help."

"Shut up will you, I'm trying to focus."

A shrug, and then a beat of silence; the two of them basked for a moment in the piercing wind that cut through the Flight Range. The flickering shadows cast by the fire only served to add to the almost haunting beauty that tonight brought. The chilling midnight moon was a barely distinguishable sliver, white against white in the brewing storm. Teba could only long for the soft hammock of his home. Although, it's not like he would be relaxing anyway.

Nearly all hours of the day, if he wasn't practicing with his bow, he was poring through a damn book. It definitely wasn't out of a passion for reading, but more of a desire to spite his superiors.

Elder Kaneli had yakked his beak off about how the "bow of Champion Revali is our last physical connection to our valuable history" and thus was not to be taken out of its chest, ever. So there went Teba's dreams of dissecting it and constructing a masterful bow of his own.

Kaneli had said that a "young Rito like yourself shouldn't spend so much time out in the cold." So there went Teba's desire to devote himself to archery, shackled by the Flight Range's new "curfew," which was essentially a bedtime.

And, years ago, after a teenage Teba had found the very first diary of the Rito Champion, showing it off to the respected elder as quick as he could, Kaneli had beamed in his rocking chair and said, "Oh hoo! We shall get to storing it immediately!" So there went Teba's achievement, gathering dust in a box for a good three weeks before he had just decided to start sneaking into the records at night to pore through it. "Preserve the paper's integrity" his ass, he knew the librarian just hated him for that time his makeshift bomb arrow had caused her tail feathers to smell burnt for a month.

At nearly every turn, there was always something that hindered Teba's progress towards getting clues about how to master Revali's Gale. If that wasn't enough, Kaneli had been nagging him more and more lately about settling down and relaxing. Just a few years ago, Kaneli had been all about training him to be a mighty warrior, but nowadays the elder just couldn't seem to shut up about "exploring new pastimes!"

So here he was, with his new pastime. Reading, like the thrilling warrior he was.

Teba rolled his eyes after skimming through another paragraph. He hurriedly turned through a few more pages, the rustling parchment catching Harth's eye once again.

"So how's the research going? Is it just brimming with inspiring details about how to command the wind?"

Teba chuckled, although there was clear bitterness in the tone. He held up and flipped the journal around, so that Harth could read the contents written within.

"You tell me..."

~The Eighth of Nayru's Moon~

Once again, that little knight has failed to so much as acknowledge my presence. He probably wouldn't know charisma and impeccable skill if it was shoved right into his perfect face— and goddess believe me, I have tried as such.

Just today, I was— formerly assumed alone— at the Flight Range, practicing my Gale, when from the corner of my eye I saw him watching me. His face, an unfortunate yet predictable bland block of carving wood. Even after witnessing my masterful abilities? HA! His dead gaze borders on blindness.

To think, the King is looking to appoint him as the princess' personal guard. I should think someone as unperceptive as he would do better as a cleaning maid. Forget the quick instincts of battle, I'm sure he'd be dead in an instant. He just blankly looks and looks, and stares and stares. All he ever does is stare at me, unassuming... with those striking blue eyes of his.

Too striking. Distracting even. If he dares show his stupid, atrociously awful face at my Flight Range again, I might just have to nip his poorly drawn bowstring myself. Followed by a legendary duel to the death, of course.

Then again, if he for some reason stops by tomorrow, I wouldn't mind that much.

Harth leaned back and gave Teba a smirk. "So, that's a no on the Gale research then?"

Teba let out another huff, snapping the book closed and getting on his feet. "Nothing but boy troubles in this one. He has to have kept more entries out there that could actually be useful to me."

Fiddling with an arrow shaft in one wing, Harth went back to filling the quivers. He let out a laugh. "Ah, I'm sure it's not all useless! At least now you know you're not the only Rito in history who's terrible at flirting."

A scoff. "The hell is that supposed to mean?"

"That was literally about as straightforward as I could have been with this topic."

"Well do me straighter."

Harth proceeded to have a coughing fit for five minutes.

The sounds of wheezing laughter and less than polite comments from Teba echoed through the Flight Range.

"Hylia, I may not be looking for a wife, but I hope one day I adopt or something just so I can tell my grandkids how much of an idiot you are," Harth finally said, at the end of their colorful banter. "But yes, thank you for proving my point. A Boko skull has a better grasp on charisma than you."

The warrior crossed his wings over his chest, looking away. "Well sorry that I've been focusing on my strengths rather than dabbling in immaturities."

"Remember when you were in the infirmary and you tried to tell that nurse, Saki," he snorted, "You tried to tell her she had nice posture–"

"Shut it. Shut it and quit your grinning before I shove you into the fire and use the arrows as kindling."

Another laugh echoes, and the most Teba can do is narrow his eyes. But after a beat, he perks up and looks back in his direction. "How do you know her name?"

Harth raised an eyebrow. "Saki? Well I don't know, she treated me during that Ice Talus accident a month back. I probably just asked for her name at some point, you know, like a normal person." He shook his head. "Spirits above, Teba, you've probably been in that infirmary more than I have. Have you really not gained the social skills to ask for someone's name?"

He stared at the very interesting and engaging wooden floor, shifting his weight between his legs. "I don't have to answer that."

"Oh, woe is you. Kaneli never gave you a pep talk about how to make friends?"

"HA! I think our conversational topics peaked in the days where he actually encouraged my archery training. Less 'pep talk,' more 'lecture,' nowadays."

"Alright, alright, save your daddy problems for breakfast, Teba."

Teba glowered much in the way a Lynel would to its soon-to-be-dead prey, feeding Harth's amusement.

"Anyhow, you needn't go so hard on the guy, he just doesn't want you to kill yourself, which is especially relevant tonight." He turned around and picked up the now fully stocked quivers. "Now that you've finally managed to tug your beak out of that book," he tossed one to the huffy bird, "Let's go slay some monsters."

Teba's earlier expression morphed into stern concentration, emotion dripping away in favour of a practiced warrior's focus. He grasped one of the arrows and inspected the tip. "Fire arrows? Wouldn't bomb arrows be more effective on monsters?" The night seemed to turn colder to match his more serious tone.

The charcoal feathered Rito slung his bow and quiver onto his back, speaking quickly as he worked. "Not necessarily. We want as much vision as we can, can't risk getting blind-sided by even one of its attacks. Explosions would give even more cover to an already invisible foe." He also mumbled something about how he barely had the income to afford them.

There was a moment of silence as Teba calculated and turned over Harth's words, before putting the pieces together. He gave a confident nod as confirmation.

"So… have you ever slain a Wizzrobe before?" Harth asked.

The warrior smirked to himself, turning towards the exit with bow and quiver. White against white as he stood on the snow covered landing.

"Not yet."

- - - - -

Thunderous sounds in a frozen tundra; it came after the ripple of footsteps.

Jaded peaks weathered grey, the sky couldn’t be distinguished from the land. The snow had pounded harder and harder as they flew, flurries coating the feathered fletchings on their arrows.

Harth landed first, walking around on the open, frigid expanse. Teba did a sweep of the surroundings from the air. Nothing.

The base of the Hebra Mountain Trail— just under the shadow of the South Summit— this was where the last attack was. Hopefully it was where the final one was too.

There had been three travelers total; two Rito, one Hylian merchant. Minor injuries. Most all ran away at the first sign of frostbite. It was normal for the occasional monster attack to come up every now and again, and it just wouldn’t be worth the resources to hunt down every Lizalfos and Bokoblin that happened upon some unfortunate soul. By the time anyone lives to tell the tale, the beast has probably already moved miles from where it was last seen. The Hebra wasn’t exactly the most accommodating of places to enjoy long term.

And so that was the excuse. Save the supplies for bigger threats. An Ice Talus, Hinox… Hylia forbid a Lynel. A Wizzrobe would probably be off dancing in the sunset by now, and thus, no warriors should waste supplies looking for an “unnecessary fight."

Teba remembered scoffing when he heard the news— a scoff apparently so spiteful, that it had earned him a rare glare from Kaneli.

“Don’t do anything stupid, Teba. You won’t be recklessly going off alone to find it, understand? I mean it!”

Teba perched on one of the cliffs, getting a clear view of Harth below, surrounded by white on white on white. Harth turned his head and gave a thumbs up in his direction.

Well, that was one half of the instructions followed. The “stupid” part is still up in the air, though.

Teba unslung his Falcon Bow from his back, resting a fire arrow on the bowstring’s serving. If someone were to look up at where he crouched, they would be greeted by a piercing golden gaze; a pair of cold suns that sent you shivering.

That was the intent, anyhow. A warrior with a gaze like fire. Like lightning, like metal, like suns, like steel. That’s what he’d been told in the past, so he might as well use it to his advantage.

Still… he remembered once how someone had compared them to honey.

“What?” He had been taken aback by the sudden observation.

“Or like butterscotch… I use it a lot when baking. Oh! I’ve seen gorgeous dandelions like it too.” The nurse—“Saki?” Did Harth say?—tended to the wound just below his eye. “You should be thankful the color is so pleasant, the sight is probably what caused that Moblin to miss its mark!” Saki smiled and for the first time, Teba understood what it meant to call something “the sun.”

“Make sure you don’t use those eyes of yours to go looking for more trouble. Or else…” She had narrowed her eyes playfully. Noticing him just staring at her in silence, she cocked her head to the side, curious.

“Sorry, was there something you wanted to say to me?”

Yeah, but I’m not sure what. All he could really notice at that moment was how relaxed her posture was around him. Usually, he was surrounded by his fellow rigid warriors, or the stance of someone that looked in his eyes and saw fire. So…she was a nice change of pace.

Too bad his communication skills could be trumped by a deflated octoballon. Teba's sigh manifested into a small white puff in the cold air. Nevermind that now.

He had to stay focused. Teba would cut no corners when it came to using Harth as bait. However, he couldn’t deny the somewhat pissy mood he was in. No Gale, no practice, no clues, no fights. Sooner or later the village might just strap him into a rocking chair and say it was for the best. What a joke… At least killing off a dangerous creature would help let off some steam— ice? Magic ice…water…arrows… fuck.

Teba rolled his eyes at his own incompetence. Can’t even be a decent wordsmith in my own head. Harth was right.

A sudden flash of movement and his mind immediately crashed back to reality. Eyes instantly trained back to the ash colored Rito on the ground, who had now turned and aimed his bow at the horizon. Not even a second after the movement was made, Teba had an arrow nocked and aimed in one practiced, fluid motion.

Harth had two arrows nocked, aiming towards an unseen target obscured in the haze of snow.

Black against the pale of midnight’s frigid sheet of snow. If Harth could see something, it would no doubt also see him. He stepped forward, Swallow Bow unwavering in the wind

Teba adjusted the draw of his bow, training its angle to match Harth’s movements and ready to release at a moments notice.

The crunch of talons on snow. A small patch of dead bushes just a few paces in front of Harth.

One step.

Two…

Suddenly, an arctic fox dashed to the right and disappeared into the snow.

A draining silence. Steady, freezing breaths condense into puffs of clouds out of Teba’s beak. There was still a knot of tension in his chest, but he could start to feel it ripple out, like a patter of footsteps as a mix of closed off fear and anxiety walked out the door. Still, he didn’t falter his draw. After a moment, he saw Harth put down his bow and sigh. The Rito turned towards Teba’s direction to give him a smile and a shrug.

Harth met his gaze.

Then, the expression on his face suddenly morphed into shock.

Teba didn’t think twice.

He snapped around and let gravity take him, loosing the already nocked flame. The hiss of fire flew and connected with its target with a satisfying crack! Midfall, he could hear Harth shout a much too late “Behind you!”

The fire arrow hit rock, crumbling stones clash against snow. The burst of flame roared like thunder on the cliffside. Although the creature wasn’t hit, the area of effect was still large enough to singe at the tips of cloth.

A pearly white robe that faded deathly blue. The glow of ice and dark silhouette. A shrill cry escaped from the Wizzrobe that had stood, wand in hand, behind Teba’s perch just seconds ago. Even in distress, it wore a chilling grin.

Bastard. You won’t get another chance.

Another flame nocked and loosed with lightning speed.

The creature laughed, as if in pity, and twirled in its step.

Gone.

Teba gave a flap of his wings to stop his momentum. His talons safely connected with the ground, and Harth was at his side at once.

“Are you alright!? Are you hit?!” Harth started to inspect his wing, but Teba continued staring at the sky, “S-Say something, dammit! Teba we need to—”

He held up a wing, the gesture with an unspoken tone of “shut it.” Teba readied another fire arrow and pointed into the air. He whispered.

“Listen…”

His eyes narrowed in concentration, trying to discern sounds from the muffle of wind. Harth pressed back and covered Teba’s blind spot, nocking an arrow of his own.

The wind was unaccompanied. The dead bushes shuddered a tempo.

And then the midnight sang.

Like the pleasant echo of a music box…a lullaby that seemed to twinkle against the brink of night and day. A ripple of footsteps. A sparkle to his left, skipping like stones, as if the wind was water. There was a faint laugh, but Teba was the one to smile.

Gotcha.

The Wizzrobe had barely manifested before the fire arrow flew. A burst of orange connected with its frail arm, and the creature shrieked. Harth quickly turned and fired his own shot, the arrow nearly lodging into its face, but arching low and hitting its torso instead. The Wizzrobe panicked while the two Rito went to reload.

“Go for the face!” Harth shouted as he went to grab two arrows from his quiver. “It’s the only part that’s not protected by that stupid magic robe!”

As if on cue, the Wizzrobe had started laughing to itself, its arms flailing wildly as the flames that engulfed its person suddenly disappeared. It gripped its Blizzard Rod in both hands, starting to twirl with a sickening grin.

Teba aimed for the sky. “Move!”

Harth shuffled back in obedience as fire soared. The arrow crashed into a giant sphere of ice that hurtled from the heavens, shattering into pieces just a few feet above their head.

The impact caused them both to fly backwards, the bow knocked out of Teba’s grip.

Hmm… fuck.

Teba crashed hard, tasting dirt and snow. Luckily Harth was able to get in position to fire an arrow.

Its arc through the air was cut short by multiple more icy spheres hurtling down around the Wizzrobe.

Harth cursed under his breath. While they were far enough away to avoid the barrage of ice magic that would no doubt freeze them with a single touch, it would be nearly impossible to get close enough for a kill. Teba picked himself up and crouched beside Harth.

“How much fire total?”

Harth shook his head and stared at the ground. “I was so concerned with not arousing suspicion…sneaking out to fight was one thing, but—”

“This is no time for regrets. How many fire arrows, dammit?”

Harth let out a huff. “I bought a bundle of five and split them between us. The last fifteen in each quiver are regular ones. Although at this angle I doubt they would be of any use.”

Teba’s eyes sat calculating for a moment. “So I’ve used two. One hit, one miss. And you—”

“I landed the third just earlier on its torso. The forth…” He turned in the direction of the shower of ice. He could see it smash against the wooden remnants of an arrow. “I used just now.”

Hylia forgive the less than polite words towards the spirits that Teba spoke.

Harth gave a nod towards Teba’s quiver, while handing him his Swallow Bow. “Here. I gave the extra to the best shot around. I’ll distract it while you make the last shot count.”

Teba scoffed. “You and I both know you can’t just adjust to a new bow on the fly and expect to be accur—”

“Well if you’ve got a better plan, I’m more than happy to hear it!”

Teba grimaced. Always life and its impossible instructions.

The warrior slung his quiver in front of him, indeed confirming the last fire arrow nestled between the regular ones. He took the Swallow Bow in hand and gave another glance towards the Wizzrobe.

Its earlier spell had stopped now, and it was now skipping all too happily towards them. The ripples of its chiming steps seemed to glow brighter and brighter as it approached.

Tsk. What a gloat. It’s not even bothering to sneak up on us anymore.

Harth gave a flap of his wings and hovered. “I’ll lure it near the base of the mountain trail, and you flank. Do what you must, it’s all you.” He took to the air and began taunting the Wizzrobe, attracting its attention.

Teba cursed. He harshly slung the quiver back around him while taking up the bow. In the motion, a journal dropped into the snow.

“Crap, the…” He trailed off, observing it for a moment. The words on the page it had opened up on caught his eye.

~The Twentieth of Starset Moon~

I hope a Wizzrobe carries me off before I see him again. I envy their magical ability to disappear from sight at a moment’s notice. Maybe then I wouldn’t embarrass myself so in front of Link.

I've always called my eyes a mere jade. A simple enough descriptive hue, and on occasion it would serve as a masterful segue into a pun about how the best warriors have a gaze that can pierce like stone. But no, he just had to call it, “grass.”

“Actually, I’m fairly certain that the hues of Hyrule’s earthly flora are much lighter than the color of my eyes.” I had said. “Like I previously stated. Jade, or emerald works. Jagged jade if you are akin to alliteration.”

Curse my arrogance as my response only caused him to elaborate. “It’s not just the color” he had said. “It’s like a sensation. I like just looking at fields. To lie in them, and smell, and be in comfort in the grass and outside.” He shrugged like nothing was wrong. “Your eyes give me that comfort.”

Hylia is a cruel goddess to curse us Rito to become round puffballs whenever emotions get the better of us. THANKFULLY, he didn’t notice as he then started to ramble on and on about his—slightly concerning—knowledge about the flammability of plants. How flaming weapons and flint produced different embers. How any fire arrow can become a bomb arrow with enough kindling. How you could tell the flammability of certain flora based on the shade of green. He noted how my own eyes were not the most flammable, so… there’s that compliment, I suppose.

There was a roar in the distance as ice crashed onto the earth. Teba snapped the journal shut again.

The Wizzrobe had cast another spell, a blur of charcoal feathers could be seen dodging the attacks.

Teba stood sifting through his thoughts as quickly as he could. Whatever power above had caused him to stumble upon this entry…he’d have to thank them later when he had the time and the faith.

The idea was obvious in hindsight. If he couldn’t guarantee a shot at a small target, then make the target bigger.

The warrior took the fire arrow in one wing, and the journal in the other. The diary was old and dry, and obviously it had a much bigger surface area than an arrow tip.

So he quickly took the very last fire arrow and pierced it through.

It burst into flames in an instant. It certainly wouldn’t pierce anything, but with the bigger area of impact…combined with a new reckless plan, there wouldn’t be any need to.

He smiled and took towards the air.

“Uhh, Teba???” Harth yelled as he saw his friend approach, flying closer with a flaming book arrow in his beak. “What are you— fuck! Ay! Over here, princess!” Harth tugged at the Wizzrobe’s robe, luring its face towards Teba.

He couldn’t talk with the arrow and piece of flaming historical documentation in his beak, but he cocked his head in such a way to signal to Harth to turn.

“But?! Its face!” A fierce shake of his head in response. “Dammit Teba!”

Harth soared around the creature in a semicircle, avoiding its bursts of ice that make the feathers on his neck puff. The Wizzrobe turned to wave its wand, it’s backside now exposed to Teba.

The warrior quickly unslung his quiver and threw the leather strap around its neck, the weight of the arrows falling on the other side towards its chin.

“TEBA WHAT THE FUCK!?”

The Wizzrobe halted its midair dance, turning in the direction that the new weight had come from. The Blizzard Rod was already starting to glow.

“That’s right!” Teba shouted, as he took the flaming book arrow out of his beak. “Show me that ugly grin of yours!”

He gave one last flap of his wings before letting gravity take him, nocking the arrow on the Swallow Bow. As predicted, he couldn’t fully compensate for the difference in the bow.

Its weight was all different, the string strength was all wrong, the grip was much more loose than he’d have preferred—

Through the haze of snow, and paper, and his own pale feathers, the Wizzrobe’s shining grin greeted Teba in full.

White on white.

He narrowed his eyes.

“Catch!”

The arrow loosed.

The flaming book seemed to soar in slow motion, or perhaps that was just on account of its weight. It arched high, nearly on path to connect with the creatures gleaming teeth, but the strength just wasn’t there and it bowed lower still to the Wizzrobe’s neck.

FWOOSH!

The journal was destroyed on impact, paper glowing and fluttering. The creatures’ attire was set alight, but all it did was laugh like it was an inconvenience. Like a party trick it had already gotten tired off. It started to try and pat itself down, but…

“Let’s see you laugh now, bastard.”

The quiver’s leather wouldn’t catch on its own given its natural resistance. But with the flutter of dried parchment…

All it took was one fiery page, and the arrows caught. The Wizzrobe suddenly suddenly shrieked, but the sound was muffled and cut off by sputtering and the sound of what Teba could only assume was suffocation. The bundle of arrows glowed like a campfire, the flames engulfing the creature's neck and already licking at its face. It attempted to remove the quiver wrapped around it with both arms, tossing the Blizzard Rod into the air in panic, but it was already too late.

The giant necklace of kindling roared in the Wizzrobe’s face, and in seconds, the icy beast was reduced to mist. The wind its grave, as the last of its magical robe rippled in the night.

Teba landed on the ground, eyes bright with unexpected happiness as he cheered.

“WOOOOO! Did you see that!?! I can’t believe that worked holy fucking shit, take THAT asshole.” He shouted into the air with a rare show of relief. THANK YOU Champion Revali and that Hylian knight arsonist! Gods, who knew reading would be so—”

“ROD!”

“Wh—” Teba turned in time to see Harth flapping towards him. But closer still, Teba saw the blur of the Blizzard Rod falling through the air, just seconds away from impacting the ground.

Hmm…

Gravity surely wouldn’t simulate the effects of waving a magic ice wand around, right?

SHING!

Fuck.

A burst of ice exploded from the rod’s impact, Harth slammed into Teba just as he could feel the cold travel to the tips of his wings.

The two Rito crashed into the snow, and Teba was able to taste the delicious flavours of snow, stone, and dirt for the second time. He propped himself up with a wing that was now faintly aching. He had a bit of a coughing fit, as Harth got up.

“Teba…” he trailed off, still in a bit of shock. “Wh…Where the hell’d you get a crazy idea like that from?”

The warrior had the strength to shrug with one shoulder. “New hobby?”

Harth playfully shoved Teba back into the snow as they both laughed.

Teba stared up at the frozen sky. It was already fading blue, the brink of night and day tipping towards a yet unseen sun.

That wasn’t so bad. Just a few arrows, a quiver, a book, and we’ve got justice for our village. If we hurry we can make it back before breakfast and Kaneli’s none the wiser.

Harth stood over him and offered a wing. “Alright, let’s go grab your bow and get out of here. I think I can feel my tail feathers freezing off.”

Teba shivered, reaching out to get up. “Yeah, no kidding. It’s almost like it—GUH!” He crumpled to his knees.

“Teba!” Harth propped up his back as he went to inspect him. He gasped when he saw his wing.

The black feather accents were laced with ice, the very tips of his wing were already starting to become glassy and stiff. Teba held back a yelp as he felt the ice grow further up his wing.

“Oh shitshitshit, that Blizzard Rod still got you.” Harth frantically went to remove a piece of cloth from his armour to wrap it around the ice. “Try to keep that warm. Uh. The mountain lodge is nearby, maybe we can get a blanket? Oh shitshitshit….”

Teba mumbled something incoherent as he felt the ice grow further.

“Guh… We can just keep this incident between us like planned, yeah? Kaneli is gonna be pissed that I blew up his quiver.’”

“Idiot! Get on my back, you could lose a wing!”

“It’s not as bad as it looks. I could probably still fly.”

“Your feathers are snapping off, fuckface!”

Harth tried to get Teba to stand, but stopped when he started to hiss in pain. The cold on his left wing was starting to course through his whole body, and he shivered.

“Ok, ok. Maybe it’ll warm up when I get in the air. I’ll just start flapping a lot to keep the blood flowing. That’s how that works, right?”

“At that rate, you’ll not only be brainless, but wingless too.” A sudden voice echoed.

The boys looked up to see a set of pink feathers descend from the air. Harth’s eyes glowed with both immense relief and confusion.

“Thank Hylia, Saki….wait, what are you doing here, I—”

“Shhhhh…” Saki took out a sword, causing further confusion and shock to come to the boys. “All you need to know for now is that I was by the Hebra Trailhead Lodge when I heard a commotion that I can only assume you two fools caused.” She tried to press the blade against the ice on Teba’s wing.

Teba’s eyes darted between Harth and Saki. The feathers nearly everywhere on him but his left wing started to puff up given how close she was. He could smell a mix of nutmeg and warm safflina from her.

“I…uh…” Teba was rapped in the head with the broad side of Saki’s sword. “Ah! Hey—”

“Don’t move, before I decide on amputation.” Both of the warrior’s eyes widened. “Just joking! Ahaha… for now anyway.” Her cute little chuckle echoed in the air.

Saki finally put down the blade. She shook her head, the curls of her hair bouncing above her shoulders. “It’s already too strong to scrape off.” Harth’s head was turning left and right above them, like a child trying to get a peak of the action. Digging through the satchel on her shoulder, Saki took out a few heads of sunshrooms.

“Hold these, we don’t want that ice magic seeping in any further. It can spread to the blood faster than you think.” Teba’s beak was still agape when he obliged.

The pink colored Rito gave him a soft smile as she tucked a wing under his neck. She expertly flipped the Feathered Edge in her wing, so that it’s blunt side was aimed at Teba,

“Now, if your muscles move and contract any more, it’s just gonna cause any of the ice inside there to snap, effectively paralyzing you. We need to make sure there's no chance of that happening.”

Saki leaned down and pressed her head against Teba’s for a moment, planting the Rito equivalent of a peck on the cheek. “Take that as my premature apology.” Saki said. And that was the last thing he heard before he saw the swing of the blade’s hilt and everything went black.

- - - - -

Teba awoke with the sun in his eyes. He blinked, adjusting his gaze before identifying a blur of pink feathers in front of him.

“—and no doubt they’ve discovered you’re missing by now if she hasn’t said anything already. I’d fly back myself to inform the elders, but…” She trailed off, fiddling with the bandage.

“I could do it. You’ve probably already got your plate full with—gah!” A broad side of a Feathered Edge whacked Harth’s head.

“No. You need to keep that cut warm and toasty and uninfected. This bind won’t hold in those strong winds, and we can’t have the Tabantha skies blowing dust and grime into it.” Saki used her blade to cut the excess bandage on Harth’s neck, to which he slightly gulped.

Teba tried to sit up from where he lay. The Hylian style bed creaked under his shifting, and he muttered something about missing hammocks.

Saki suddenly stood, eyes lighting up to see Teba. “Oh good! You’re awake, let’s see how you’re doing.” She rushed to hold his wing, to which his heart immediately jumped into his throat.

“Saki, I—” Teba attempted to be articulate, but was distracted by the tenderness of her touch, and the sudden sweet smell of nutmeg and vanilla in the air.

“Stop moving your wing, Teba.” Saki examined all sides of his wing with a practiced eye. “I made the elixir in time to counter any frostbite, but you should still rest for at least another hour to make sure all the ice inside is truly melted.”

He couldn’t hide the surprise on his face. “You…remember my name?” It had been a few weeks since he had last seen her in the village infirmary. Usually he only saw the older doctors tending to patients.

“Well of course.” Saki cocked her head and gave him a warm smile. “I remember all my stupid patients.”

“Am I included?”

“Yes, Harth.”

“Nice.”

Teba’s eyes widened when she unsheathed her blade again. So much was happening so fast that surely if he wasn’t coddled in bed right now, he’d be snapping bones from the whiplash.

Saki held the metal near his wing. “The ice on your coat has softened by now, so I’ll just scrape it off,” Her blade gleamed with her bright smile. “Stay still!”

The warrior’s eyes continued to flicker between his wing, the blade, Saki, and Harth. Looking out the window, he saw the crisp blue sky glowing above a now serene and pleasant white snowfield.

“I don’t understand. Where…how long have….” He trailed off, but looked back at Saki. “What are you doing here?”

Saki stopped for a moment. “I…” Her shoulders sagged a bit as she paused. “Well…I know the elders said not to engage with the Wizzrobe incident. But…” She fixed her eyes on his wing.

“I’m a part of this village, and I care about its people. Those who are hurt, were hurt, or could be. I don’t like standing by when I could be helping.”

She looked back up and met his gaze. A pleasant blue that greeted the sun. “You understand, right? ‘We risk our lives everyday, might as well use it for something worthwhile.’ That’s the excuse you told me when I first met you.” She brushed a feather under one of his eyes. “Although, you were half unconscious, so I don’t blame you if you forgot. So anyhow! I stayed here in case any travelers came by with wounds or injuries. Keeps my heart at ease rather than just cooping up at home.”

Saki went back to removing the thin bits of ice on his wing, humming to herself. Teba savored the moment for what felt like a century, heart fluttering every time she glanced up to check on him.

Harth finally quipped in, tone playful. “Guess you’ve pretty much got the same mindset as us “fools,” eh, Ms. Saki?” He kicked back in his chair and crossed a leg over his knee. “Birds of a feather….heh.”

Saki snapped her head around to glare at Harth. “Actually,” the tone could cut steel, “The difference here, is that I had the common sense to not go out looking for a fight. I had the basic logic to understand that fighting a monster on its own turf would be reckless and idiotic. I had the brains to gather further supplies than a mere five fire arrows. And I actually had the decency to inform someone of my whereabouts should anything unexpected happen, rather than having the arrogance to think things would always go according to my own plans.”

She sighed again. “I hate to make Amali worry, but I’d rather stay here to look after you two while she informs someone to come pick you both up.”

Harth shut his trap real quick after that, to which Teba would have probably laughed if he wasn’t also scared of the possibility of getting the same treatment from her.

After a few more minutes, Saki finally finished up and patted his wing. Teba mustered enough courage to speak.

“Thank you…for everything.” He tried to prop himself up in the bed. “I can probably fly back in this condition. Kaneli’s probably gonna kill me twice over if I don’t get back soon.”

“Yeah, wouldn’t want to piss daddy off,” Harth snickered.

“Fuck off, Harth.” Teba and Saki quipped simultaneously. Teba however, was a bit taken aback by how calmly and sweetly she had spoken. The thoughts were knocked out of his brain when Saki rapped his skull with her blade again. “Ow! Would you—”

Saki pointed the blade at his throat. She was so close he was sure she could hear his heartbeat fast…and it wasn’t just from fear.

“Firstly, no. Neither of you boys will be leaving anytime soon so long as I’m here. You will be staying in bed,” she glared at Harth, but kept the blade on Teba, “And you will be keeping your tail feathers glued in that chair.” Saki turned back to Teba with a sweet smile.

“You will be staying here for the next eight hours, not so much as scratching the tiniest itch on that wing. Then, when someone comes here to pick you both up like I discussed, you will keep seeing me for at least another two weeks so I can monitor your injury. And perhaps when that’s all done, I will think about baking you a pie in celebration of your heroic feat tonight.”

She pressed the Feathered Edge a bit closer to his throat. “However, if this turn of events does not come into fruition…let’s say, if for some completely silly reason either of you decided to leave this cabin and fly home, well. I will just have to make sure to give you a reason to stay bedridden for another month. Do I make myself clear, warriors?”

The boys nodded as quickly as they could.

“Wonderful! I’m so glad we’re on the same page!” Saki's smile and tone was so quiet and sweet as she sheathed her blade once more.

Teba could still feel his heart thumping against his chest. There was a pleasant silence as the lodge was filled with the crackling of fire, and the occasional chirp of a morning bird. He stared at the way Saki’s eyes dazzled like a delicate sky.

Saki clicked her tongue. “Oh you poor thing. You’re still freezing aren’t you? Your feathers are all ruffled up.”

On instinct, the feathers on his neck—and pretty much everywhere else over—puffed up. “UH. Oh! Yeah. Cold. Very cold…yes.” He looked away and started coughing. Saki got up to get something by the fireplace, while Harth did his best to hide his snickering. Teba silently mouthed “help me” to Harth, which only further hindered his attempts to hide a laugh.

The pink Rito flashed one last pleasant smile at the two of them as she made her back towards the door. “Alright, I’m just gonna grab the firewood outside so I’ll be back in a moment. You’ll be alright, right? Nothing’s still aching or anything?”

Even muscle in Teba’s body seemed to melt at the way she curiously cocked her head to the side with a smile. The best he could do was mumbled out his thoughts before he had the chance to think them through.

“With you looking at—after me, I think I’ll be fine.”

Saki chuckled and Teba felt a combined feeling of pride and embarrassment. As she closed the door, Harth looked back at him.

“Very smooth. Quite the wordsmith.”

“Shut it, fuckface.”

- - - - -

TWO WEEKS LATER.

“What do you want?”

The doctor grumbled rudely as Teba did his best to not seem like a complete idiot. “Uh…Saki?”

“You want Saki?”

His mind shifted to a daydream. “Yeah…” Whenever her name was mentioned he couldn’t help but smile, but that fell away when he snapped back to reality. “WAIT, I mean— no. I don’t want— I mean not no, I just didn’t mean it like— I just.” Teba grumbled some more. “Where she is. I want where she is, or… need. I don’t want. I’ve never wanted— I just need the location. Her location, currently. Which is not here. Where is she. Please…”

Teba put on his best smile despite the fact that he felt like his body was suddenly on fire. Perhaps that was a habit learned from the Wizzrobe incident.

The doctor shook her head. “Kids and their incoherent rambling— She's coming back from Slippery Falcon last I checked. Baking another Get-Well-Soon fish pie, I assume.”

“Ah, great! That’s fantastic. Yes. Yeah! Great. Thank you so much, Una—”

“Get out already, Teba. This place is for the sick and injured. Not the…” she glanced at him with a raised eyebrow, “awkward, and alive. Both of which are actually quite surprising to see from you…”

He managed to give a weak mix of a scoff and a nervous laugh before promptly leaving.

Descending the many steps of Rito village, Teba’s mind raced with thoughts.

Just gotta not fuck up one conversation. Just a simple question! Just...quick little hang out...thing. Yeah. Yep. I can do that. She’s seen me blabber worse when I’m unconscious, so what’s one sober conversation. I’ve killed things! Why am I even stumbling over a few words? Tsk. Yeah. I’ve seen monsters and beasts and blood and blades, I've got this. This is doable, I can do this.

He suddenly bumped into a pink colored Rito at one of the turns, and she laughed as she fumbled with the honeycomb and butter held in her arms.

“Oh my! Well, good morning, Teba.”

I can’t do this.

“And where are you off to this lovely morning?” Saki tilted her head curiously, to which Teba’s eyes immediately dilated.

“…uh…I…” Was it just him or were her feathers slightly fluffier than usual? “I just wanted to…say hi.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Well.” She gave him a cheerful wave with a free wing, clutching her ingredients close to her chest. “Hi!”

“Y-Yeah. Hi…” Teba just stood there as Saki continued walking up the stairs behind him.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck do something, idiot I don’t have—

“Actually Teba…” Saki suddenly turned back around to face him. He quickly leaned a wing against the railing to seem casual. “If you’re not doing anything right now…do you mind helping me with something?”

Teba felt like he responded just a bit too quick. “Yes! Definitely. I can do that.” He coughed, and held out a wing. “You want me to hold something for you?”

She beamed. “Yes! Come on.” She shifted her baking ingredients in one wing, and used her free wing to hold his. Saki dragged him along as their feathers intertwined. Teba’s soul immediately left the mortal realm and his physical body was left stumbling and sputtering.

“WAIT! I—I DIDN’T MEAN! UH—I MEAN SURE— IF YOU’RE OK—BUT THIS ISN’T—”

“I have something heating up upstairs, so hurry along now.” She spoke quickly, not really having the extra confidence to look him in the eyes. But at this point they could both feel each other’s feathers poof as they held wings.

Carrying a mix of honey, Tabantha wheat, and butter, they both eventually made their way to the public kitchen where a fire was roaring.

Teba started grumbling apologies, but Saki cut him off by shoving a wood spoon and a bowl into his chest.

“Your rebellious nature won’t apply to cookbooks, yes?”

And with that, they got to it. Teba’s mind was still processing the events of fifteen minutes ago so while he stared blankly at Saki, he struggled to do the basic task of mixing.

“Here,” she held his wing and adjusted his grip on the spoon. If she wasn’t a pink Rito she might have blushed. “Try not to fling the batter out the window.”

They both started to gain just a bit more confidence as they continued working. Teba started to tease Saki a bit as he held the bowl with the salmon filling above her.

“What’s one little taste? It’s all gonna be eaten at the end, isn’t it?”

“Don’t you dare, it’s still raw!”

“Just one little dip.”

“If you stick one dirty little feather in that bowl I swear I’ll—”

Teba continued trying to dance around her, but she eventually got it back after a quick whack in the head with a spoon.

The morning flew above them, and the shades of a blue day were laced with clouds of white. The shadows of the hut spun across the floor like a spell. Eventually, the aroma of savoury fish with hints of butter filled the air. Teba grabbed a fork.

“This Get-Well pie was for me, yeah? So let me just—” Saki slapped his wing.

“Not yet, gosh.” She stole his utensil. “You forgot the most important part!”

Saki pressed the edge of the fork on the plain face of the fish pie, giving the little fishy a simple, honest grin.

“There!”

“That’s a bit creepy.”

“What?! No…it’s cute! A joyful little fish!”

“You know that this is just gonna be decapitated by me, yeah?”

“It’s about the sentiment, Teba. Hush.”

True to his word, Teba used a knife to take the first bite, decapitating the little creature. Stuffing his beak, his eyes immediately lit up. The flaky crust paired perfectly with the soft meat, the taste and texture beyond amazing.

Saki tilted her head, curious. “Well? How is it?”

“Mmmbfhbgm. Myeah. Yum.”

She clapped. “Oh I’m glad! I actually ignored the ratio a bit and put a bit more butter, so it’s good that that worked out.”

“What happened to following the instructions and rules?”

She narrowed her eyes and crossed her wings over her chest, playfully. “I don’t know… What happened to that priceless journal from Master Revali that was found to be missing from records a few days ago?”

“Damn. Fair enough, then.”

Saki suddenly gasped. “Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry I completely forgot about the time. You usually sneak off to practice Master Revali’s techniques by now, don’t you?” She went to grab a napkin. “Here, you can wrap this up and take it to the Flight Range, I didn’t mean to keep you for so—”

Teba went to grab one of her wings. “Hey hey! It’s ok. I’m still supposed to keep off the wing anyway, right?”

Saki scoffed, but didn’t pull away. “Oh, like you’ve been following that…”

“Better late than never?”

“Mhmm…”

Teba finally let go, and they stood in front of each other for a bit. Saki played with the curls of her hair, avoiding his gaze. Teba felt his feathers fluff up again, as he mumbled something.

“Hmm?” She looked up.

“Oh. I…didn’t say anything.”

“Ah, Right.” She looked away.

Fuck.

The warrior struggled to find the right words. In an effort to do anything but stay silent, he went to hold her wing again. Both of their feathers immediately floofed in response.

“S-Sorry. I should have—”

“No, it’s alright.” She kept his grip. “It’s alright.”

They both looked in opposite directions, Teba coughed again while Saki fiddled with her hair. The warrior continued screaming in his own mind, begging for some form of suitable and understandable words to come out of his beak. When he turned to speak, Saki cut him off with a soft smile.

“You know, Teba. You don’t have to say anything.”

His beak opened and closed for a few moments, confused. Finally he settled on his thoughts. “Can I try?”

She nodded. “If you really want to.”

Saki wrapped her wings around his shoulders, looking up at him expectantly. When he looked into her eyes, all he could feel was the embrace of a summer’s wind. It was blue. Cerulean. Perhaps teal, or a comparison of sapphire. There was a romantic simile in the world somewhere that he didn’t bother to find.

This close, he could see her eyes dilate, and count small imperfections on her beak. Teba stood as still as ice, before breathing out a bit in relief. He allowed himself to smile, and held her hips and swayed to some unknown rippling melody. Perhaps for just this moment, he accepted it. His words didn’t matter as his gaze lit up sweet and gold and honey. Finally, as they swayed and danced in warmth, the sun to the sky said,

“You look nice.”

#reblogs appreciated!#Teba: I'm gonna go get justice for my village so that no one else gets hurt!#Also Teba: *nearly dies on multiple occasions*#Teba is just the 'this is fine' meme and i love him for it #botw #breath of the wild #legend of zelda botw #loz botw #botw fanfiction #teba x saki #tebasaki #yes the fried chicken couple #teba #saki #saki botw #harth #harth botw #teba botw #botw gift exchange

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time-to-write-and-suffer · 3 years

Note

I wouldn't mind that post on VNs!

So I was gonna write three different lists, but then after writing the first part I realized this is very long and takes a while to write and nobody cares anyway so I’ll just post my recommended list only. Well, I mean, you asked, but I doubt you wanted all this lol. Thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about this stuff, though. Hope you enjoy my ramblings!

An explanation for what this list is: Sometimes I know a game isn't perfect in many aspects but I still had a genuinely good time playing it, hence why I'm recommending it. Also I should mention that I could talk for hours about some of these games so if anyone’s curious about more of my thoughts, let me know.

Alright, now that that's out of the way ...

How to Take Off Your Mask / How to Fool a Liar King / How to Sing to Open Your Heart (f/m): This is a trilogy of smaller, single-RO games where you can take one of two routes depending on how you act, and they’re all interconnected where you get to meet and interact with the previous games’ characters in the sequel games. I went into this expecting very little but what I got blew me away with how funny, charming and cute the games were. They don’t take themselves too seriously, at one point an angsty male character monologues deeply about some shit, and another one just slides into frame and starts mocking him. It was so fucking funny, holy shit. Also, a central theme is literally racism against catgirls? Which is monumentally stupid, and probably the games’ main flaw, especially in the final game where it pairs up a catgirl with a catgirl racist, but that one still ends with a literal bisexual queen literally making a man her malewife because she fell in love with his cooking, so like ... It speaks for itself. My favorite game of the three is the second one, where you get to play a punchy fake catgirl and romance a pink-haired prince. And honestly, all the female protags in these games are lovely and a breath of fresh air, and the male characters are fun and not abusive assholes either. There’s full Japanese voice acting, and two out of three female protags are literal catgirls who pepper in “nya” and “mya” into their dialogue, and it’s just treated as a quirk of their catgirl race. I AM NOT KIDDING. Yet somehow it never comes off as cringe, because it doesn’t take it self too seriously. These games are just cozy. That’s the only way I can describe them. Cozy and hilarious. Play them yesterday. Dream Daddy (m/m): Man tumblr did this game dirty. This is just a cute, wholesome daddy dating simulator with gorgeous art. Coming out on Top (m/m): So you know Dream Daddy? What if it was EXTREMELY, MAJORLY NSFW? Though I realize how bad the comparison really is, the only thing these games have in common is that they’re gay dating sims and don’t have an anime art style and oh, yeah, they’re both really well-written. Or at least, extremely funny. COOT (heh) is DDADDS’ horny older cousin, and I first encountered the game on a lesbian letsplayer’s YouTube channel. Yes I watched a lesbian play a gay porn game and it was GOOD. I was there for the cringe and fun and got surprised by how genuinely funny and sometimes actually touching the game was. I can’t give it my universal endorsement because it’s not a game for everyone, as I said, it’s extremely NSFW and the menu theme literally includes the singers screaming “SEX SEX” at the top of their lungs. There’s more to this game than the porn, but there’s just so much porn. It can be censored in the settings but it’s unavoidable. However, I still think it’s worth a look just because of how funny it is and how charming the characters are. If you don’t want to play it yourself, at least watch Anima’s playthrough of it. It hasn’t aged super well in some spots but I still go back to it every now and then. Akash: Path of the Five (f/m): This game markets itself as a more “professionally produced” western dating sim, and that’s accurate in some superficial aspects. The game is pretty poorly written, but it’s absolutely gorgeous and has really good English voice acting by actual professional voice actors. The premise is quite self-indulgent, but I genuinely respect that about it. You play as the only female elemental in a village with only men, and all five of your classmates want a piece of you. It’s clear the writers have put some thought into the lore and worldbuilding of this world, but barely any of it comes through in the actual writing and plot, which is basically just a vehicle for you to get together with your boy of choice. The ROs aren’t very well-developed either, and the plot is the same in every route with only minor variations depending on which guy you pick, up to the point where the protag has the same voice lines in some parts regardless of which guy she’s talking about. It also has one extra half-route that’s so bad and pointless I genuinely wonder why they wasted resources on making it instead of spending a bit more on the writing/adding some variations to the main plot. So why am I recommending this game? Well, it’s pretty, and it sounds nice. This game is a himbo, gorgeous but dumb as rocks. Enjoy it for what it is. I know I did. Get it when it’s on sale, I think if I hadn’t gotten it at half-price I would’ve felt a bit more cranky about it. Also Rocco is bae. Mystic Destinies: Serendipity of Aeons (f/m): Yes that’s the full title, no I don’t know what it means either. You may have noticed how most of the games so far I’ve enjoyed because they don’t take themselves too seriously? Well, this one does. It takes itself SO FUCKING SERIOUSLY. Like, way too seriously. It’s a little embarrassing at points because baby, you’re an urban fantasy dating sim. Calm down. But the game has gorgeous art and 3 out of 5 routes are very good. The last route, the one with your teacher, is both the most problematic yet somehow the one that breaks down the very concept of a dating sim within its own narrative (yes, this shit gets fucking META) and it got so wild at the end that 1) I still listen to the soundtrack for that route and 2) I still remember it to this day despite finishing it ages ago. My favorite route is Shou, he’s a sweetheart, but the mindfuck route is so buckwild that I think the game is worth playing just for that. There’s also a route that’s like a neo-noir mystery? I Do Not Know. This game is many, many things and it does them so sincerely and tries so hard, you can’t help but respect it. It doesn’t always stick the landing but man, just let this thing take your hand and wax poetic at you for a bit. Also get this one at a sale because it’s very expensive to get the full version. I got it for 9 bucks on itch.io and I felt that was a fair enough price, I’d say I wouldn’t have minded paying more for it because there’s a lot of content to enjoy and/or be baffled by. Arcade Spirits: This one’s a bit more weird from what I recall, and I honestly couldn’t tell you much about it, but I remember having a very good time with it and recommending it to a friend when she was going through some tough times and she said it made her feel better. I remember it making me feel better, as well. This is a VN about an arcade and the ROs are wonderfully diverse, with very real human conflicts that get explored in each of their routes. It can get quite existential and heavy at times, but in the end it’s a kindhearted game that I think everyone can enjoy. The main character was also, how you say, mood. It’s a game about getting possessed by a video game and then learning self-love. Ebon Light (f/m): This one’s free/name your own price on itch.io so go play it. It’s a weird plot where you play as a girl who ate an elven relic? And then the elves kidnap you because you’re the relic now. All the ROs are extremely pasty (like, literally white, as in literally the color white) dark-haired elves, except for one, who’s an extremely pasty blond elf, so ... diversity? I honestly don’t know what this game is aside from unique. I used to be a bit put off by the art style but now I think it contributes to the general atmosphere. It’s a weird game that technically doesn’t do anything groundbreaking but still left an impression of “huh. weird” in my mind and I think more people should play it. The ROs are all pretty generic dating sim archetypes but done well, with bonus points to Duliae who’s just a massive creep and I love him, and also Vadeyn who’s the only bitch in this house I respect. The worldbuilding is honestly a bit buckwild and I can’t give enough credit for how unique the elves’ culture is in this game. Definitely give it a go. Hakuoki: Kyoto Winds / Hakuoki: Edo Blossoms (f/m): These two are newer releases of an older Japanese visual novel. I wouldn’t call it a dating sim, it’s ... it’s more of a super depressing historical fantasy epic with some minor romance aspects awkwardly wedged in. It’s seriously some of the heaviest and most grimdark shit I’ve ever played in a VN/otome. I don’t understand why it’s a dating sim, it doesn’t read like one, it’s just historical fantasy based on real world events with characters based on real people, and they kill and they die and they grieve and they suffer. The games are literally about the downfall of the Shinsengumi, there’s no way of avoiding everything going to shit and you get to watch and be in the middle of it all as they struggle to stay alive and relevant in a world that doesn’t need them anymore. And there’s the protag in the middle of it all, being useless and submissive and bland just the way the usual otome protag is. I don’t think these games are necessarily fun, and the romance is certainly a lot more downplayed and deeply problematic just based on the age differences alone with some of the men, but the sheer amount of horror and sadness in these games make them stand out above its peers. It’s like watching a war movie. Since most of the characters are based on real people, they feel like real people instead of the usual otome archetypes, and they are so, SO flawed, it’s interesting to just watch them deal with the shit the world throws at them. It’s an Experience, and if you’re up for it, I think it’s worth the time. Cinderella Phenomenon (f/m): This game is free on Steam so go get it. You play as a really, genuinely shitty princess who gets cursed to be poor and forgotten and she has to help one of the ROs break his fairy tale curse so that she can learn about being a good person herself and return to her normal life. This game doesn’t look like much, but it has a genuinely well-written main character who’s actually at the center of each of the stories and in the overarching plot instead of just being around to make eyes at the real protagonists, aka the love interests. Aside from the main character, my favorite part of this game’s writing is how each route slowly but very smoothly expands upon the overarching intrigue. If you play them in a certain order, you get more and more info revealed to you that you didn’t see in other routes, gaps are filled in as you find out more about what actually happened and why, but every route also stands on its own as a full experience and none is more canon than the rest. There’s also some really heavy emotional parental abuse explored, which I found quite potent at times. The romances themselves were alright, I think Karma and Waltz were my faves.

#eff plays

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writtenonnapkins · 3 years

Text

The New Girl Pt. 2!!

Credit for Universe goes to @lumosinlove

TW: Drunk stories and closeted experiences

Unfortunately, it turns out Remus wasn’t a secret drag queen in college, rather it was Tonks that brought a reluctant Remus with her. That doesn’t mean the pictures of an exasperated Remus surrounded by drag queens and kings weren’t going to be used as teasing material later though.

“I only went because Dora loved it, I think we can all agree it is not really my crowd,” Remus joked, taking Tonk’s phone away from the grabby hands of the team.

“Common Loops, you looked like you were right at home!” James said, nudging him playfully. Remus just rolled his eyes and stood to take some of the plates to the kitchen. The dinner was mostly over by now, except for Tonks who had spent most of the meal telling increasingly wild stories about her and Rem’s times at the drag club.

Everyone seemed full and happy, both from the food and the fact that Tonks fit right into the dynamic of the group. They had been worried, some more than others *cough cough Logan*, that she wouldn’t fit in and the easy family dynamic would be lost.

Their concern was for nothing though, as Tonks took to their ribbing and humor like a fish to water. It also helped that she knew more about how to embarrass Re than anyone else. Already she had Remus blushing more than they had seen him do in weeks.

“Aw Remy, you loved it because you love me. Everyone thought you were so chivalrous, catering to all my whims,” Tonks threw over her shoulder despite the food she was stuffing in her mouth.

A few people around the large table exchanged glances. Well that sounded like it had romantic undertones.

Remus reentered the room once again rolling his eyes in Tonks’s direction.

“Yes, yes. Drag shows, helping with your cosplay, dying your hair. I was the best boyfriend in the whole athletic dorm, what a tragedy we didn’t stay together,” Remus said sarcastically like it was something they had heard many times.

Sirius felt like his brain was rebooting. Remus had a girlfriend in college? And she was now living with them and Remus didn’t tell him? And they used to be roommates?

Now Sirius wasn’t the jealous type, he knew Remus loved him and neither one was interested in sharing. And from what he’d seen, vibes between Tonks and Remus were more like siblings than romantic. But still, it seems like something Re would have told Sirius about. They had even talked about experiences they had in the bedroom and he was certain a girl was never brought up in relation to Remus.

Sirius looked away from Remus and noticed James looking between the two of them a bit concerned. Mother hen. He was probably trying to figure out if he needed to get everyone to leave so they could talk.

Everyone else in the room was silent, still taking in this new information so Sirius just shrugged at James before turning back to where Tonks and Remus looked to be talking with their eyebrows.

“You guys dated?” Sirius broke the silence.

“Technically no,” Tonks said, turning away from her eyebrow conversation. “But also technically yes.”

Well that wasn’t helpful.

Remus, who seemed to read the confusion on everyone's faces, sighed before clarifying.

“Tonks was my beard. And I was hers. Easiest way to avoid questions was to be in a relationship. Jeez, not like either one of us could come out.”

“Bestie beards,” Tonks chirped, “Big thing in student athlete circles, at least when we were there. Dorcas dated Peter, Mary dated Evan. Everyone was actually gay and hiding it.”

They explained with oddly fond tones how their friend circle at college was mostly closeted kids, yet their friend group had a reputation for serial dating in their friend group.

“Except for us, the ship of the hockey, tennis, and soccer departments. Best couple goals four years running,” Tonk said punching Remus’s shoulder.

“Jeez the amount of condolence messages I got from people after you came out and started dating Fleur. We had been “broken up” for a year, it was sad.”

Everyone started teasing them and asking more and more questions about their life as a gay straight couple. The memories seemed fond, but both of them looked like they wished they had been able to be open then. Tonks joked about how she honestly didn’t know how people didn’t pick up on the fact that she was so, so lesbian when she dragged Remus to drag shows, cut her hair into a pixie cut and then dyed it bright purple.

Everyone moved into the living room as Tonks continued to share about their life in college.

“Our first kiss was disgusting. Awful,” Tonk lamented.

“Aw Loops, hadn’t learned how to kiss yet had you?” Talker teased much to everyone’s amusement. Remus just laughed, cringing at the memory.

Apparently they had been two rooms down from each other in the CoEd athletic suites. They hit it off immediately, and like the closeted college freshman they were, decided to kiss and see what happened. It was, for obvious reasons, unsatisfactory for the both of them.

They decided that they both were definitely, definitely gay. But since they were athletes and being gay in a college locker room at that point was still a big big taboo, they figured they would just tell people they were dating. At that point they had already been hanging out during most of their free time and were in the same major so it was an easy transition. People had been asking them if they were hooking up anyway, might as well use it.

“We got better at kissing when in public eventually,” Tonks concluded, “Especially when we were both wasted!”

Ah yes. Finally. The drunk stories.

Remus, however, seemed hesitant to allow those stories to be told. Tonks was getting a wicked gleam in her eyes and looked like she knew she was going to enjoy this. Oh yes, Sirius thought, these stories were about to be gold.

“He used to kiss me every time he was about to do something dangerous or generally frowned upon,” Tonk started. “Especially throwing himself onto tables, stripping, fighting especially.”

“Fighting?” Natalie questioned, “Remus was a fighter?”

“Oh was he a fighter!” Tonk exclaimed, turning back to look at Remus who had a sheepish look on his face. “They don’t know about you fighting!?”

“I have grown up you know,” Remus mutters, knowing that she wasn’t really looking for and answer.

“Remus used to fight everything that even slightly insulted any of his friends. That boy would launch himself head first into so many fights I lost track,” Tonks said, “And he would do damage too, All those hockey muscles. Don’t let the thin frame fool you, Remy is all muscle and he knew how to use it, my god. He would deck anyone who said anything about my hair without thinking about it. Little demon he is.”

Everyone was definitely shocked by this revelation. The Remus they knew was not one to fight people, especially physically. Sirius on the other hand, was a little less surprised. Remus had told him that he used to have an anger problem before his shoulder got torn apart, tending to use his fists first.

Sirius expected Remus to look upset about what Tonks was telling everyone, he had been when telling Sirius about his past anger problems, but Re just looked amused at the reactions of everyone in the room.

“Just to clarify, I do not fight nor do I want to fight anymore. However I find the surprised looks on your faces when she said I would win very insulting,” Remus joked with everyone.

The tension in the room broke and everyone started laughing and asking about Re’s past as a jock asshole who defended his fake girlfriend to the death.

The rest of the night passed with laughter and many more stories exposing Remus for the wild child he was in college. Tonks was a very entertaining storyteller, and her and Re’s friendship had clearly not been diminished by distance.

The whole team left feeling like they knew their new teammate better having learned about his life before Gryffindor. And they were very much so looking forward to seeing Tonks and Remus interact at work when they had to be professional with each other as PT and player. Already there seemed to be a rivalry between the two about Loops trying to be his own PT and Tonks not letting him.

Everyone was feeling much more confident with having a new PT now that they had met Tonks. And the possibilities of more embarrassing Remus stories certainly didn’t hurt their excitement either.

#coops #sweater weather lumosinlove #lumosinlove #Tonks and Remus were besties in college #Tonks is a tennis player #beard

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septicstories · 3 years

Text

A/N: For some unfathomable reason, I get some fantasy BNHA vibe from the song, Ophelia by the Lumineers. not even the lyrics. Like, the instrumental. It also, for some reason, gives me such an intense feeling of nostalgia that it sort of makes me want to cry? And I don’t know why? Actually wait. Seeing that this song is from the same guys who performed “Ho Hey” that makes a bunch of sense. Okay, anyways, I’m just gonna write a Kiribaku fantasy thing. Just some fluff, nothing super major.

I, I, when I was younger

“Kacchan! Quit running off! Your mother is bound to be worried sick!”

“Shut up, Deku! I’m gonna be fucking fine! C’mon!”

“Kacchan!”

The two young boys ran through the forests. Katsuki had recently turned twelve, given his first sword. Nothing fancy, just a small cutlass. In a week, he’d get his very first tattoo. But only if he collected an animal’s blood.

Easiest way to do that?

Kill it and bring it back to his village.

I, I, should have known better

“Uh, Kacchan? Do you see that?” the younger green haired boy asked.

Katsuki glanced in the direction, seeing that there was a pair of bright red wings popping out of the bushes.

“Is that a dragon?” the green haired boy whispered.

“No one’s ever had dragon blood for their tattoo before!” Katsuki whispered back with a feral grin.

The grin was odd and misshapen, something he didn’t do often. It hadn’t quite grown on the ash blond yet.

“Oi! Dragon! Show yourself!”

Katsuki took his cutlass, slicing through the bush. As the leaves and branches from the bush fell, the front of the dragon was revealed.

And I can't feel no remorse

A black haired boy looked up at him with big red eyes. A pair of horns protruded from his forehead, their base a bright red. A tail stuck out of the other side of the bush, also bright red.

“Sorry! No hurt, please,”

Katsuki dropped his cutlass to the ground.

A dragon shifter.

They were a rare species, only two thousand known in the world throughout time.

“Are you hurt?” the green haired boy popped up beside Katsuki.

“Uh... wings. Stuck. Help?”

“Come with me afterward,” Katsuki said firmly.

“Huh?! Kacchan?! What are you doing?”

“Shut the fuck up, Deku,”

The boys freed the dragon shifter before Katsuki led him back to his parent’s castle.

“Oi, hag! Bring us a medic!” Katsuki yelled into the castle, kicking a door open.

“For fuck’s sake, Katsuki! Did you hurt Izuku aga--”

Queen Mitsuki entered the room, ready to whoop her son’s ass, only to find her son and the boy she called her nephew in perfect health. A third boy with dragon wings, scales, and horns, however, was not.

“Oh. Uhm... hello,” she said calmly.

The dragon boy gave a bow as Mitsuki called for a few medics.

And you don't feel nothing back

“Kacchan, it’s so weird for you to help someone like that. What about your tattoo?”

“Dumbass. Don’t you know that dragon shifters are a rare species? If I fucking killed one, I’d die, for sure. I’d be hunted down. And it felt... different. Like I couldn’t kill them, even if they weren’t a dragon shifter. I... they feel different,”

Katsuki sat outside of the infirmary where the dragon boy stayed.

Behind the door, the shifter had sat, listening. That was something he was good at. Listening. He didn’t know what most of it meant. He didn’t speak their language. Hell, he rarely spoke.

But hearing what the ash blond boy had to say made him feel weird. His tail thumped against the cot he sat on, a happy chirp leaving his mouth.

When Katsuki came back to see the dragon shifter, he was pounced on, happy chirping noises escaping his mouth.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Master! Teach fight!”

“What?! Master?”

“You save me. I stay until I save,”

Katsuki sat there, baffled. A dragon shifter wants to be his? And a cute one at that?

“So, you wanna know how to fight, huh?”

I, I, got a new girlfriend

“No fucking way, really?” Katsuki was snapped from his memories by Sero gawking at the drunken purple haired bard.

“Mhm! She’s super duper pretty,” she slurred happily. “She’s a princess!”

“Congrats!” Mina, the pink haired barkeep said with a smile.

“Oh, it’s Princess Yaoyorozu, right?” Tenya asked, sipping lightly from his glass of wine.

“Mhm! Momo is so great,” Jirou beamed.

Katsuki rolled his eyes, scoffing at Jirou’s words.

She feels like he's on top

The dragon prince-- no, king-- had changed greatly since he met the dragon shifter, Eijirou.

Katsuki’s original kingdom was attacked, his family and his people killed. It was bloody and traumatizing. He actually needed saving from Eijirou.

But he never left.

And I don't feel no remorse

“Oh! Katsuki!” Eijirou tugged on the king’s cape. “Look! Miss Frog brought her wife!”

He looked behind the bar to see Ochaco and Tsuyu, smiling sweetly at each other.

“Get a room!”

Denki and Sero laughed beside Katsuki before Ochaco flipped him off.

And you can't see past my blinders

“Ochaco, relax, kero,” Tsuyu mumbled.

“Yeah, Katsu’s just jealous that he can’t have what we have,” Ochaco said with a smile, pressing a kiss to her girlfriend’s nose.

“You want to be a lesbian?” Eijirou whispered to Katsuki, who choked on his brandy.

Eijirou frantically waved his hands. “Sorry! Hurt?”

Whenever Eijirou found himself flustered or speaking quickly, his speech would go back to the broken language he used when he was a child. It got his point across, it just wasn’t the most eloquent.

Oh, Ophelia

“I’m fine, shitty lizard,” he mumbled. “No, I don’t want to be a lesbian. I don’t like women. I would just want to date someone and... be happy with them, you know?”

“Oh! Dragons do that! We bite the neck of our mate, give our mate a mark!”

“What, some sort of binding mark?”

Eijirou nodded happily, a small chirp leaving his throat.

You've been on my mind girl since the flood

“Why hasn’t Ei gotten drunk?” Mina asked.

“Dragons don’t drink. Alcohol to them is like feeding chocolate to a dog,” Katsuki scoffed. “Figure you would’ve fucking known that since he’s declined your alcohol consistently for the past several years,”

“Mhm! Alcohol killed my family,” Eijirou said with a soft smile.

“Oh,” Denki murmured.

After the sudden dark turn, it was quiet. But only for a moment.

“Hi, Kacchan!”

Katsuki rolled his eyes, turning to the green haired boy, who had Prince Shouto walking behind him.

“Done fucking the prince yet? Or are you still his spite boyfriend?” Katsuki snarled.

“How dare y--” “Shou, it’s okay,”

“Ah? Having the lapdog shush the prince? Doesn’t that deserve some sort of punishment?”

The shit eating grin on Katsuki’s face grew as Izuku’s face flushed at the word.

“Don’t be rude,” Eijirou hissed, smacking Katsuki’s shoulder. “Sorry for Katsuki. He is drunk.”

Oh, Ophelia

“Ah, it’s alright, Eijirou!” Izuku said with a grin.

“The master disobeying his dragon? Doesn’t that deserve some sort of punishment?” Shouto asked, giving a smug ass grin.

Katsuki’s grip on his glass tightened, the glass making a creaking noise.

“Shou!”

“What does he mean by that? I did not do anything wrong, did I? Did I go against a human rule again?” Eijirou whispered.

“No, Prince Shouto’s just being an asshole,” Katsuki mumbled.

“Stop being mean!” Eijirou said before pouting a little. “You’re better than that,”

Katsuki felt his heart clench at his oddly adorable dragon servant.

Actually, was servant the word to use? He didn’t feel as though Eijirou was his servant or inferior to him. Much more like a friend.

One day, hopefully more.

Katsuki groaned, smacking his head with the heel of his palm. He needed to stop thinking like that. Eijirou would be a friend and nothing more.

Heaven help a fool who falls in love

So maybe Katsuki did end up falling in love with his dragon shifter friend. What did it matter?

He wasn’t going to act on his urges to kiss him, hold him, tell him he loved him- no! That’s preposterous!

From time to time, he wonders what his mother would think of him if she saw him now:

Sitting in a bar as a dragon king, making fun of the prince of another kingdom, sitting beside his dragon shifter friend who he also held high affection for.

He was fucked, wasn’t he?

“Why did you hit yourself? Was there an insect? I could have gotten it for you,” Eijirou asked.

“You are not eating a fucking insect off my head again,”

“It was one time!”

“One time too many!”

I, I, got a little paycheck

“Anyway, Katsuki, we didn’t come here to hear endless innuendos,” Shouto sighed, pulling out a silken sack.

It jingled happily as it was dropped in front of Katsuki.

“We came here for the--”

“Yeah yeah, you came here for the head of that beast. I know. Ei, you got the satchel?”

“Right here!” Eijirou said, holding the heavy satchel, dripping in black blood. “The head is in a bag inside of the satchel. So grab the bag inside. Do not wear white gloves, I suggest black as that is the color of their blood,”

“Thank you, Eijirou,” Izuku said, giving a quick bow as he replaced his white gloves for black ones.

Katsuki was handed the sack and he popped it open.

“Ei, coin toss,” he growled, taking a golden coin and flicking it behind me.

Coin toss is what they’ve done to see if the money is genuine. Katsuki toss a coin behind him, Eijirou nibbles on it for a second, and then he gives it back if it’s good. If it’s bad, he eats it.

If he eats even a single coin, he has Katsuki’s permission to beat the shit out of them.

You got big plans and you gotta move

“Must you do this every time?” Shouto asked

“What, you give us a shit coin?” Katsuki asked, flipping Eijirou the next coin.

“No’ ye’,” Eijirou said, catching the coin between his teeth. “All solid,”

“Good. And yes, we fucking do, asshole,” Katsuki scoffed. “You could scam us out, and we’d have to kill ya for it,”

“Be nishe, Katshuki!” Eijirou said before slipping the coin out of his mouth.

And I don't feel nothing at all

“Hey guys, we’re gonna go head toward the inn! Heard they had a bonfire going! We also need to drop off our horses,” Sero said with his signature grin.

“Yeah, yeah,” Katsuki scoffed.

After quickly checking the rest of the coins and making sure they were genuine, Katsuki closed the silken sack.

“Thanks,” he grumbled out.

“Sure thing, Kacchan! It was a pleasure to work with you!”

“Fuck off!”

And you can't feel nothing small

“Hey, Katsuki?”

“What is it?” Katsuki asked, turning to Eijirou.

“I want to show you a place,”

“Oh yeah?” Katsuki had a smirk cross his face. “Where to, Shitty Lizard?”

“Come with me!”

Eijirou and Katsuki left the bar, leaving a few gold coins with small dents in them on the counter.

Eijirou stood behind the building, removing his clothing as not to rip them before Katsuki placed them in the satchel.

A few moments later, the redheaded hybrid became a full dragon, and the two tore up into the sky at vicious speeds.

But once they were over the clouds, Eijirou slowed to a glide.

“Nice job on speed. Doing better,”

A deep rumbling chirp came from Eijirou as they continued to soar above the clouds, Katsuki relaxing happily on Eijirou’s back.

Honey I love you, that's all she wrote

The duo began their descent, landing at the base of a mountain as Eijirou shifted back.

“So, what did you want to show me?” Katsuki asked, handing Eijirou his clothing.

“Top of the mountain,” Eijirou said, yanking on his clothes.

Katsuki blinked for a moment. “Then why the hell didn’t you fly us up there?”

“The path there is very pretty too,” Eijirou said, making Katsuki huff.

“Fine. Whatever. Let’s fucking go,”

Oh, Ophelia

The boys began their hike up the mountain. Nothing too rigorous, but still harder than a simple walk. Not like the two minded, though. They’ve grown used to things that take up far more energy than a hike.

“So, where exactly did you bring me?” Katsuki asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Oh, we are climbing up a mountain. I cannot remember the name at the moment, so my apologies,” Eijirou chuckled, tugging at his scarf a tad.

“Fucking great. Any sort of civilization nearby?”

“Uhm... I believe there is a village that sits on the shore,”

You've been on my mind girl like a drug

Katsuki put a finger in his mouth, and after a moment, he pulled it out and held it to the sky.

The light breeze hit his wet finger tip, only a small part of it being cold.

“We in the East?”

After a moment, Eijirou nodded.

“Yes, yes!”

“And there’s a village by the water?”

Oh, Ophelia

“Yes, you will see it once we reach the top!” Eijirou chirped.

“So does the name Tuft Mountain ring any bells?”

“Oh, yes, yes!”

“And you wanted to show me the peak of Tuft?”

“Mhm!”

Heaven help a fool who falls in love

Katsuki knew what Eijirou was doing.

Anyone with half a damn brain cell knew what he was doing.

Oh, Ophelia

“YOU’RE FUCKING TAKING ME TO LOVER’S POND?!”

You've been on my mind girl since the flood

“Hush, hush! You’ll disturb the wildlife!” Eijirou said, thankful for the dark of the night that covered his flushed face.

The two reached the peak, and Katsuki’s eyes widened.

Oh, Ophelia

The pond was surrounded by gorgeous flowers and other wild grasses, waving in the breeze nonchalantly.

Fireflies dotted the sky, their little lights glowing up against the water’s surface.

The pond itself was an irregular heart shape, yet it was naturally formed.

Heaven help a fool who falls in love

Legend says that those who sit at one side of the pond will have their soulmate appear at the other side.

This could take minutes, hours, days, months, weeks, even years.

The pond is for those who are willing to wait for their soulmate.

Oh, Ophelia

Eijirou went and sat at one end of the pond, and waited.

Katsuki felt a tug.

You've been on my mind girl like a drug

As though he was being forced closer to the pond.

His head foggy and walk awkward, his body slowly made it’s way to the other side of the pond.

Oh, Ophelia

The two boys gawked at each other, vermilion and scarlet eyes locking, jaws dropping.

Katsuki knew what had just happened and knew what he’d done, but he hadn’t felt as though he was in control of himself.

A smile bloomed on Eijirou’s face.

He covered his mouth with his hands as tears clumped up in his lashes.

His tail thumped on the ground, wings beating, and sobbing chirps of joy escaping his mouth.

Katsuki felt his eyes water as well as he grinned.

Heaven help a fool who falls in love

A/N: Okay! Thank you so much for reading this! I sincerely hope you enjoyed it! I just get sudden impulses to write, so I do, and then you get this. Ooh! I’ve also never done this before, but I’m gonna start a tag list! I’ll do this for every story! I’ve only got one person and my beta readers, but feel free to ask to be on the tag list! You’ll get a notif for any oneshot I post! Or story! If you want to see my artwork, then please make that specification. So I’ll tag you in both or one or the other. Okay? Okay!

Tag list: @king-queenie, @violet-fandom, @siivermoon,

Okay! That’s all! Thank you!

#long post #kiribaku #kiribaku fantasy au #oneshot #eijirou kirishima #katsuki bakugou #krbk #songfic #ophelia the lumineers #the lumineers #fanfiction #fanfic #septic's stories

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blackypanther9 · 3 years

Text

Part 51 - Lesson to learn

Warning!: Injuries...

"DESTINY !! YOU ARE BACK MY SOULMATE !!! MY LOVE !!", someone yelled.

You froze in sheer panic.

"Oh no...", Scarson mumbled.

________________________________________________________

You pulled back from Serafina and stepped back to Loki and the others.

"Who was that ? Also a friend ?", Loki asked.

"No. That is Leondra...the crazy Bitch that is claiming that she and I are Soulmates...That we belong together."

"Soulmate ? But isn't there always a tattoo, that will just be activated if, what it says, your Soulmate says to you as very first word ? And the other needs to have the same effect ?", Frigga asked.

You nodded.

"She doesn't have a tattoo, nor had I one. She just claims it, because she fell in love with me and...yeah. She is crazy."

Loki growled at that and pulled you close to himself, possessively.

"Mine.", he said.

"What ??", you asked.

"You belong to us now and you are my friend ! She will not get you. Mine.", he explained.

Somehow you felt angered and aroused at the same time. You hate men, when they treated you like an object, but at the same time you liked it if it came from Loki. You’re supposed - to - be true love. You almost purred. Almost.

"I am not an object Loki.", you softly growled.

"I know. I just don't want to lose you. You are my one and only best friend, even if we have huge arguments and yell at one another that we aren't anymore. I can't risk losing my only best friend."

Okay, now you were touched deeply.

Then suddenly a big, fat, ugly woman came running in front of you. She was dirty, she smelled and her mouth was AGAIN covered in chocolate. Disgusting. Her clothes were torn and her boobs hung out. They didn't even look like boobs. They looked like fat on the chest. Very disgusting.

"Leondra...", you growled.

"Hey ! Why so mad ? I missed you, my love ! Now we finally can marry !"

Loki choked on his own air, Serafina looked at her, as if she didn't hear right, Scarson looked like he wanted to stab Leondra, Thor and the rest looked in shock and soon Laufey laughed his arse off.

"Oh boy !! EHEHEHE !! That was hilarious !!!", he laughed out.

Everyone looked at him as if he was mad.

"You know that she didn't joke, right ?", Scarson asked him.

Now Laufey stopped and stared at him.

"I didn't...WAIT ! FOR REAL ?!?!?! BUT I THOUGHT YOU ARE ALREADY IN LOVE DEST ?!?!?!"

"I AM YOU FOOL !!!", you yelled angered and ashamed.

"And that is-"

"NOT YOU, BITCH !!!", you yelled at Leondra, outraged.

"That is no way to talk to your future wife, Dest~", Leondra purred.

You looked at her disgusted. Then your eyes turned red, full of anger, hate and rage.

"You are filth in my eyes. Why should I ever want you ? You are fat, ugly, have fat as breasts, what you can't even call breasts, you smell, you are dirty, you are crazy, you are a slut, you always try to control everyone and everything, you are commanding, you always have disgusting chocolate all over your disgusting face and the color of your hair is also disturbing. Tell me one reason why I ever should lay my eyes on you."

Uff ! That must have hurt her ! You must have hurt her now. Everyone looked at you in total shock. Loki mostly. Never had he heard you say such evil, mean, hurtful words to anyone until now. Your former friends tho...looked unfazed. Not the first time you offended her. Scarson even SMILED at you.

"Because we are destined to be together !! Since birth you belonged to me !! You are my other half !", she yelled now, lightly angered.

You scoffed and then laughed darkly.

"You and I, destined to be together ? Man are you sick in your head. There is no us and there never was an us before too. Slut. I like men more than...that thing in front of me. You are a woman and disgusting as fuck. Even a corpse would be more beautiful than you. I rather kiss a corpse and Thanos, than you. Even if my life depended on it, I would never even touch you with a 1000 m long clamp."

Leondra looked at you in even more anger. Then she stomped her foot on the floor and showed you her demanding position.

"YOU ARE MY FUTURE WIFE AND YOU WILL MARRY ME NOW !!! UNDERSTAND ?! YOU BELONG TO ME !!! YOU ARE MINE !!! YOU CAME BACK JUST FOR ME !!! NOW GET HERE AND LET US KISS AND SEAL OUR MARRIAGE !!!"

She pointed her fat finger next to her and waited that you moved there. You and your former friends looked at her unfazed, Loki looked very angered, like the rest of the Frost Giants and Frigga looked shocked. The warriors three looked impressed, Thor looked ready to hit her with Mjolnir and Sif looked very mad at Leondra. Loki's hands on your shoulders turned into a grip of iron. He will not let you go, just because that slut demands it.

"NOW WIFE !!!!", she yelled.

You flexed your fingers then they tightened into a fist. A very tight fist. Your face was still very emotionless. Heiko, Mimi, Darko and Rachel slowly went nuts with anger and rage. You also believe that the new formed personality, Villana, is in a little rage and anger too. Loki went even more enraged, like Laufey and the other Frost Giants.

Leondra stomped over and wanted to grab you, pulling you away from Loki, but you avoided her filthy hands. You glared at her.

"Don't touch me, Bitch.", you growled.

"I do what I want !", she yelled.

She again tried to grab you, you again avoided them.

"Leave her alone you disgusting creature !", Loki roared in rage.

"Shut up you pathetic being !! A Frost Giant has nothing to say here !!", she yelled back.

Everyone, besides you, Loki, Frigga, Thor and Laufey gasped in shock.

"King Laufey, is that true ? Prince Loki Odinson is..."

"Silence !", Laufey yelled outraged at his most trustworthy guards.

Now you lost a little bit of your cool.

"First off you little excuse of a living being, Loki is no such thing ! He is no pathetic being ! He has a say in this, because he is a Prince and my most best friend ! I have sworn to protect him from evil as I was 5 years old ! Now second, you will not command me around ! And third, I AM NOT, NOR WILL I EVER BE, YOUR WIFE, JUST BECAUSE YOUR SICK MIND IS TELLING YOU THAT !!", you roared outraged.

Then Leondra touched your hand and squeezed it very hard, hoping to make you scream in pain and surrender, but you didn't feel it, even if you would have, you wouldn't have cared. Loki saw your anger and knew that one of the others are already plotting Leondra's death (Personalities of yours !).

Then he heard a loud cracking sound. His eyes widened and he looked at your hand, Leondra held. It didn't look right anymore. Your bones were not at the right places anymore. Leondra dared to break your hand.

"DESTINY !!!", Scarson yelled in shock and panic.

He also saw your hand. Laufey was next and he lost his cool, but Frigga held him in place, with magic, just like she held Loki in place. Loki would have long time ago pounced on Leondra.

You gave her a twisted smile and tore your arm away, snapping your hand off of your arm. Everyone gasped in pure horror, besides you of course.

Leondra took a few steps back, letting your hand fall to the ground. You went out of Loki's arms and went over to her. Your eyes were pure black and your smile was everyone's worst nightmare. You picked her up and made her look into your black eyes.

"I said...don't touch me.", you hissed out.

"What is so difficult to understand on my feelings towards you ? I hate you. You are disgusting. I am no lesbian, nor will I ever be. I do not obey someone as unworthy as you. The only ones that can command me around like that are, Frigga, Thor, Loki and Laufey. Because they are my friends and we just joke around with such things. You ugly, filthy Bitch are NOT worth my time. Understood now ? I rather kiss a corpse than you. You are nothing but filth in my eyes.", you growled out, angered.

Then you laughed like a Maniac.

"Everyone needs to feel the same towards you, don't they ? EVERYONE NEEDS TO OBEY YOU !!! EVERYONE IS YOUR PERSONAL SLAVE AND TOY !!! EVERYONE IS JUST YOURS TO FUCK WITH !! AND THE ONES, WHO DO NOT OBEY YOU, MUST BE TAMED !!!! RIGHT ?! THAT IS YOUR SICK MIND, BITCH !!! WELL FLASH NEWS !!! I AM NOT SOME OBJECT !!! I AM MY OWN PERSON, MY OWN MASTER !! I AM NO ONES TOY !!! I DO NOT LOVE YOU !!! I DO NOT FEEL PAIN !!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME LOVE YOU !!! THERE IS NOTHING LEFT OF THE OLD ME, SLUT !!!!!!", you screeched out.

Leondra looked at you in fear. You gave her a very twisted grin and took the same hand she had broken from you. You held it and at first Leondra thought you just joked, but then everyone heard a very loud crack.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!"

You laughed.

"Do you feel the pain, little one ? Do you want me to stop ?", you asked mockingly.

"PLEASE !! PLEASE STOP !!! IT HURTS !! DESTINY, PLEASE !!", Leondra begged with tears in her eyes.

"Too bad. I will not."

With that you squeezed harder, more cracking was heard. Leondra screamed louder in pain.

"PLEASE STOP !! I WILL BEHAVE !!! I WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE !! I SWEAR !!!", she begged.

"Oh fine....", you pouted.

Then you ripped out her hand. She screamed louder at that. Laufey looked at you in pleasure. The rest looked rather in terror at that. Laufey chuckled as he saw Loki's shocked face. He slowly went over to him and whispered.

"She just makes show. Destiny will regenerate Leondra's hand any second now. She is no cold hearted murderer."

Loki looked at Laufey and then back at the scene.

"Wouldn't surprise me, if Dest lets Leondra bleed out. She was a huge torment...", Loki whispered back.

"Bullshit, Loki. I know her. Do not worry.", Laufey chuckled lightly and pulled Loki in his arms, softly.

"Just watch, son.", he whispered to Loki lastly.

And Laufey was right. As much as you hated Leondra, you wouldn't let her die. Not today. You regenerated her hand and had back full control over yourself. Leondra fell to the floor and laid there, still crying.

"You better keep your word or else I will kill you, Leondra.", you growled out, still on edge.

Then you turned around and everyone pretended to never have been shocked and scared of the scene. Never mess with you. That was a lesson for everyone.

"Is everything ready to be teleported now ? We just have 30 minutes left.", you told them impatient.

Everyone stared at you in pure shock and Thor was off checking everything to make sure. Laufey and Loki quickly did the last bookshelf and then nodded. Then Thor came also back and nodded.

"Everything is ready to be teleported."

You nodded and then snapped your fingers, teleporting away, but where to ?

Part 52

Masterlist with all Chapters of this Story click here !

#Marvel #Thor #Loki Odinson #Loki Laufeyson #Loki x Reader

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ourloveisforthelovely · 4 years

Text

Tease

Harry Potter

Pairings: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: Sirius was too old for you, too dangerous, and had too much baggage. That is until you go on a date with someone else and everything changes.

Rating: M- smut

____

“He’s looking at you again.”

You didn’t even bother looking up at Tonks’ comment. You didn’t have to look up to know that Sirius was looking at you. There was no point in getting excited though.

“Tonks, I already told you that he isn’t interested. He already said that he was, and I quote, I am too old and too dangerous for you. There was some other stuff but I stopped listening at that point. When I heard that I’m too old for you part I stopped being hopeful.”

Tonks rolled her eyes and shot Sirius a scowl.

“I don’t know what the hell he is talking about. The age difference between the two of you is the same as Remus and me. Once we get a hold of Pettigrew, Sirius will be able to be a free man.”

“Yeah, well go tell him that.”

You muttered, trying to focus on the parchment that Madeye had put in front of you. Tonks' eyes rolled up to Remus and gave him a small shrug. What the two hadn’t told neither Sirius nor yourself was the fact that they were trying shamelessly to set the two of you up. So far they weren’t doing so well.

Meanwhile,

Remus watched as Sirius’ eyes stayed locked on you.

“Y/n is very pretty, huh?’

Sirius quickly turned in his friend’s direction.

“What are you two playing at?”

Remus shrugged with a careful grin.

“I don’t know what you are talking about. I simply stated that Y/n is a very pretty young woman. A very pretty single young woman who has had her eye on you for some time.”

Sirius glanced up again. Your violet eyes had rolled up to meet his grey ones briefly before looking away quickly.

“She thinks that I’m an asshole and she doesn’t need someone like me.”

“Someone like you?”

Remus questioned. Sirius wanted to smack Remus. If he wasn’t afraid of hurting his remaining best friend the other man would have been popped.

“I have too much baggage.”

Remus rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, mate. You’re missing a great opportunity. Y/n is kind. She honestly reminds me of her cousin, Lily.”

Sirius sighed. He didn’t want to think about how much that you reminded him of Lily. Maybe that was why Sirius’ heart ached every time that he looked at you.

“Can we not bring James and Lily into this? I don’t want to make them roll over in their graves.”

“I’m tired of telling Y/n that you suffer from asshole disease. She’s going to stop holding out hope for you one day and move on. You’ll be stuck in your bedroom with only your left hand for company.”

It took all that Remus had not to die of laughter at the expression on Sirius’ face.

“Well, I have to get going.”

Your voice pulled both Remus and Sirius from their conversations. Sirius was internally pleading with you to stay.

“Where are you headed?”

Madeye snapped. He hated admitting it but he had taken a fierce paternal liking to you. From the moment your little sunshine self came into his office to be trained as an Auror; Madeye took extra care to be almost a second father.

You sighed, miserably.

“I have a date with some guy.”

All eyes rolled nervously in Sirius’ direction. He was scowling angrily and if it wasn’t for Harry being beside him; Sirius would have been a total drama king and walked out.

“Does this guy have a name?”

Tonks asked, grinning. You shrugged.

“I’m sure he does but I don’t know it. Some girl that really needs to get a life set me up with him.”

“That’s the beginnings of a beautiful relationship.”

Sirius said in an icy tone that made you blush. If he would only grow a pair and ask you to be his girlfriend; you wouldn't have to be going out with these clowns that Tonks set you up with. You could be devoted to Sirius and have the lover that you so desperately wanted.

“I don’t know about beautiful, but he knows that I’m alive. That’s promising.”

Remus quickly came in before Sirius could say something sassy.

“We can make an excuse for you to get out of it. I got hurt. That’s believable.”

“It's okay Remus. The poor fool has been drooling over me for ages. It’s kind of obnoxious. Oh well, I’ll see you all later”

You turned and walked to the doorway followed by Tonks like an over-excited puppy. What you didn’t see was Sirius had slowly followed along too. He remained in the shadows as you pulled on your coat.

“Andrew isn’t that bad.”

Tonks said as she reached out fluffing your red curls. Your eyes rolled up to your friends.

“I haven’t been laid in months. Is it too much to ask for some halfway decent looking guy to just throw me over his shoulder or fuck me against a wall? This guy I’m going on a date with isn’t even cute.

Tonks giggled.

“Well, I am sure we can find you someone...somewhere”

You groaned. Why you had such shitty luck dating was still a mystery? Maybe it was because you worked too much or the fact that you didn’t put up with shit? It could also be the fact that you played tough but wanted some guy to have his way with you and pull the alpha card. Again...not asking for much.

“I’m beginning to think that it will take a miracle. There is hope, however, and it has batteries.”

You were relieved when Tonks continued her laughing fit.

“You’re just adorable...now go spread joy.” You gave her one final scowl before walking out the door muttering about people being crazy and lesbians having the right idea.

The next two hours were the longest and most boring of your life. Andrew asked you literally every question known to wizardkind. Your nickname for him was now “the question man.” Maybe it was Andrew being nervous but he was driving you crazy!

I need to stop comparing every man that I go out with to the man that I want.

You thought after drinking your third cup of coffee.

“So is that your real red hair?”

You looked up at Andrew from your drink.

“Uh, yeah. It came with me when I was born.”

Andrew nodded.

“Does the carpet match the drapes?”

Your mouth dropped at that question. That was the last question that you expected to come out of the man’s mouth. That was something that Sirius would ask to make you blush. Funny how it wasn’t near as witty coming from this man (who probably lived in his mother’s basement).

“Excuse me?”

You asked. Andrew motioned down your body suggestively with his eyes.

“You know...does the carpet match the drapes?”

You stood up and poured what was left of your coffee on the man’s head before storming out of the restaurant.

5 minutes later, you stood outside of Sirius’ house. You were ready to strangle Tonks! The woman was about to get tackled.

When you walked in, you didn’t notice Sirius sitting on the couch as if waiting for you to come back. He quickly stood up knowing that pissed off expression well. After all, he had seen Lily wear it many times.

“You don’t look happy.”

You nodded.

“Good job. Where is my dear friend Nymphadora? She and I are about to fight.”

Sirius closed his book.

“She and Remus are asleep. I take it your date didn’t go so well.”

You started laughing hard. Maybe it was your reaction or not being around other people for some time but Sirius was confused.

“What happened?”

“Well, I went on a date who is now known as the question man. We ended the night by him asking if my red hair was natural and if the carpet matches the drapes. I poured a cup of coffee on his head then stormed out. All in all, it was a lovely evening.”

Sirius only blinked as he took in what you said.

“Well, he kind of asked for what he got.”

You nodded.

“Oh yeah. I am never dating anyone again.”

“So if I asked you to consider being mine the answer would be no?”

That simple question made you freeze in your steps. You turned around looking at Sirius stupidly. He was leaned against the back of the couch with his arms crossed over his chest. You swallowed as you looked him over. Had his black jeans always been that tight and left so little to your already vivid imagination?

“We both know that isn’t going to happen. You have already made your feelings clear.”

You finally replied. Sirius smirked before rolling up the sleeves of the green sweater that he was wearing.

“Maybe I was wrong?”

He suggested. Sirius was going against his better judgment now. You were young, and whether you wanted to admit it or not, innocent. So much for trying to protect you from the negatives of his past. Sirius was ready to throw all of that out the window.

“Yeah, sure. I don’t know if anyone has told you this or not, teasing a girl’s feelings isn’t nice. You aren’t 16 anymore.” Sirius closed the gap between the two of you. His eyes were on your legs. The dress that you wore had been teasing him from the moment that you walked into the room.

“I know how old I am, love. I also know that I want nothing more than to get my hands on you.”

Your eyes were wide. Were you actually hearing this correctly? Sirius was hitting on you! He actually wanted you after all.

“You may just have to prove that.”

You said with a teasing smirk as your upper arms squeezed your breasts together discreetly. Sirius raised an eyebrow. He knew exactly what you were doing and, god damn it, you were winning.

“Why don’t you come here?”

When you didn’t move fast enough, Sirius’ hands were wrapped around your waist pulling your body to him. You moaned into the kiss as his tongue teased yours. How far this was going to go? You weren't sure. All that you knew was you were ready to go as far as Sirius wanted. You didn’t care if anyone walked in on the two of you either.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as Sirius lifted your leg over his hip.

“I want you.”

You gasped against his lips. Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“Lucky for both of us. I want you too. Now, why don’t you get this dress off and get on my lap.”

When he pulled away from you, you wanted to cry out until it registered what you were instructed to do. You quickly tugged the silver dress that you were wearing off as Sirius yanked his own shirt over his head.

Sirius quickly sat back down on the couch; waiting patiently for that damned dress to come off. He palmed himself through his jeans as he watched the bra and knickers fall to the floor.

“Come here, doll.”

You didn’t wait to be told twice before taking your place on Sirius’ lap. His mouth was on yours in an instant; kissing you hungrily. When he was able to pull away, Sirius smiled at how your lips were already swollen.

“If I didn’t want to be inside of you so badly I could spend hours nestled between your legs. I like the idea of you being a weepy moaning mess.” You rocked your hips against him as Sirius reached between your bodies to undo his belt and jeans.

“I think you are a little bit of a tease.”

You moaned as his mouth wrapped around the nipple of your right breast. Sirius gently nipped the sensitive flesh a few times as he was able to get himself free from his remaining clothing. Your head fell back as Sirius rubbed the head of his cock against your already sensitive clit.

“A tease that knows what he wants.”

Sirius growled. You kissed his nose before getting off of his lap. Sirius looked at you with worried eyes. If you cut off the love supply now; he would be crushed. The moment that you knelt down in front of him to tug his jeans down further; Sirius sighed in relief.

“I have been wanting to feel those pretty lips around me for a long time now.”

He moaned as your mouth closed around him. Sirius closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the couch.

“That’s a good girl. Damn, you’re good at this.”

You took your time sucking each and every inch. Sirius wrapped his hand in your hair, gently tugging.

“Get back up here. I can’t wait.”

You quickly got up and laid back on the couch. Sirius spread your legs before giving you an eyebrow wiggle.

“Time to make you come, pretty girl.”

The moment that he pushed in the both of you moaned. You lifted yourself off the couch to take as much as he had to offer. Sirius kept his eyes clenched while giving you time to adjust.

“I think that I am going to like spending a lot of time inside you.”

You bit your already swollen lip as you felt incredibly and deliciously full. Sirius remained motionless for a moment before that feral need to make you his returned full force. Your head slammed into the couch as Sirius remained balls deep fucking you as hard and deeply as possible.

“Feel good, baby?”

You could only not. You weren’t coherent enough to put actual words together.

“Fucking you so good that you can’t talk, huh? I can do better than that.”

Sirius increased his pace. Your eyes were rolling back in your head as the knot in your stomach began to form. Sirius closed his eyes as your body began to tighten around him.

“No coming yet.”

He said in a commanding tone before pulling out. You were left a gasping spasming mess as he laid down on the floor. Sirius put his arms behind his head and motioned to his cock.

“Come here and ride me like you mean it. Fuck me sore, baby girl.”

You slid off the couch (more like fell off the couch but who cares) and quickly took your place on top of your lover. Deciding to tease him a bit first, you gently rocked your wet core against the head of his cock. You leaned down gently nibbling your way from Sirius’ lips to his neck. He groaned beneath you.

The realization that he could do this with you every day was a pleasant one. You were as desperate for his touch as Sirius was yours. He was ready to throw whatever reservation that he had about the two of you being in a relationship away. As far as Sirius was concerned, you were now his.

“You like love bites, baby? You’re about to get a lot of them.”

Sirius didn’t even give you time to fully take him in again before flipping you onto your back. You cried out when his cock was back inside fucking your mercilessly. His mouth was one your neck leaving you gasping inaudible words as his teeth bit down on your sensitive flesh.

The knot in your stomach quickly began to form again as Sirius’ own movements became a little more erratic.

“Come on, sweetheart. I’m not lasting much longer.”

You felt what sense of control failed you as Sirius used his middle finger to press firmly on your clit. Two seconds later the two of you were coming apart at the same time. You couldn’t move as the ecstasy flowed through your veins making you feel finally pleased. Sirius meanwhile, continued to lazily rock into you until rolling to his side to cuddle you.

“Believe it or not, I really didn't plan that.”

He said, kissing you gently. Your eyes rolled up to meet Sirius’ gaze.

“I’m glad that it happened and I am fine with it happening as much as you would like.”

Sirius wrapped himself around you as much as possible.

“With you being my girl now, I would hope that it would be that way.”

______

@brokencasbutt67-writer

@authoressskr

@fandom-trash-worth-it

@hankypranky

@tas898

@li0nh34rt

@untoldshortsofthefandoms

@deanwherescas

@shitfaceddaniel

@knight-of-gleefulness

@emiwrites3reads

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts

@stuckinsaudi1

@shaylybaby2032

@marichromatic

@maggioli-m

@mycuddlycorner

@wontlookaway

#Harry Potter #harry potter oneshot #Sirius Black #Sirius Black x Reader #Ben Barnes as Sirius Black #smut warning #request fic #Remus Lupin #nymphadora tonks #harry potter fan fiction #Sirius Black AU #Tease

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theriverpersonshadow · 3 years

Text

Lamia Drama Part 8

WELL THAT GOT LONGER THAN I INTENDED. But I guess that’s what happens when you have a majority of the people in one place XD

I hope this chapter went well... It felt kinda rambly, but it was fun seeing people play off each other. It was hard to get the same level of depth with characters as previous chapters with so many, but hey, interactions are fun too! Hope you guys enjoy.

As always, the species of lamia in this fic belong to @vex-bittys

< PREV | BEGINNING | NEXT >

Keith and the rest found Alex pretty easily. And a few other lamia that were either allowed free roam or had just slipped out. She didn’t seem to notice the onlookers, more caught up in petting Oozy… who wasn’t technically in his hammock. Maybe it’s best he didn’t make that bet with Hux earlier. Sure, Oozy’s close to the hammock, but Hux would absolutely rules lawyer him and demand snacks because he’s not in the hammock. Hux was a rule stickler… when and only when it helped him in some way. Eh, Keith could roll with it though (even if his dice sometimes couldn’t, but that’s what a DM screen is for).

Keith was hesitant to break up the cute moment between the two – Oozy was apparently having the time of his life, and Alex seemed pretty wrapped up in it herself, humming some tune or another while stroking him. Keith listened, trying to place it, but…

She was repeating it, huh? Was that the only part of the song she knew? Then again, it seemed like the good part, whatever it was. Easy enough to pick up too. Keith started humming along.

Hux rolled his eyes, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like “great, two of them” and slithered over, “Yo. Girl person. Ya coming or what?”

Alex looked up, “I mean, yeah, I think? Coming where?”

“nooooooooo…” Oozy said, taking her hand and putting it back on his head. “Sorry guys. I’m stealing her. She’s my personal petter now. That’s the rules.”

“Since when?!” Hux said.

Oozy looked a moment, then licked her hand. “I licked her, she’s mine.”

Keith stared at him in shock, not sure whether to laugh or slap him. “Dude.”

Nikolai gave a heavy sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose, “Don’t lick party members. Or people in general.”

“How does that work anyways? You’re a skeleton,” Alex said.

“Maaaagic,” Keith said, wiggling his fingers in emphasis. “In other words, uh… Monster biology is weird. Or half monster biology. Whatever the fuck we are.”

Nikolai nodded, “More or less, yes. I can explain it in more detail later, if you’d prefer.” He started coming forward and Alex inched away. Keith hissed before he could catch himself, but Nikolai didn’t seem offended. Instead, he lowered himself in a bow, “And I’d like to apologize for how I acted earlier… I’ll admit I, erm… Overreacted. But we’ve had issues in the past of people coming in to steal babies or eggs, one of the fools tried to snag a mamba egg and got himself killed. I just get a bit jumpy about strangers around them.”

Alex nodded, relaxing a little, but still staring off at a clock instead of Nikolai. Her hand continued to run across Oozy as she said, “I get it. They’re just little dudes, too freaking small. And some are venomous. Not like you knew me.”

“Still, I should’ve given you more of a chance or at least asked you politely to leave before turning to threat displays,” Nikolai said.

“Eh… It was my fault,” Keith said. “I should’ve warned ya I was bringing someone in. Anyways, let’s try this again. Alex, this is Nikolai. He could probably fuck you up, but he’s everyone’s mom.”

Nikolai made no move to deny it.

“Hux here is the grumpy snake. He’ll warm up to ya.”

“No I won’t.”

Keith rolled his eyes, “He’s just a grump.”

Hux mumbled to himself.

“I think you’ve met Oozy pretty well by now.”

“Sup,” Oozy said, making absolutely zero movement.

“And, erm… Nikolai, you’ve got Trousle, right.”

“Hello human! I’m Trousle! Please let me say hi.” Said Trousle’s little speaker. He was poking out from Nikolai’s sleeve, apparently wrapped around his arm.

“He’s mute, but he’s pretty fast at typing. Got his own phone and everything,” Keith said, watching this girl intently. Apparent soulmate or not, if she was dick about Trousle, she was out of here. She might’ve earned Oozy’s enthusiastic (well… enthusiastic by his standards, dude looked like a kid in a candy store, but the world’s laziest kid) approval, but he wasn’t going to let an asshole mess with the little dude. Hux would warm up, that was more him being a bit of an ass than her, but he’d get over it… probably.

“Oh that’s cool! Do you have a phone number? Honestly I think my fingers work better than my mouth sometimes, but I guess talking out loud doesn’t really have a backspace key? But yeah! C’mere… Wait, I can hold him, right? Snakes are just, like, noodle puppies.” She paused, looking at everyone in the room. “I’d offer to hold you guys, but I am literally the second smallest person in here. I mean, guess we can try, but I don’t think it’ll go well?”

Keith snorted. Gosh, she was something, huh? A little awkward, but who wouldn’t be super awkward in this situation?

Nikolai brought Trousle over and she draped him around her neck. He nuzzled her cheek, giving her little scratches behind the ear.

… should someone tell him that she’s not a dog?

…

Naaaaaaaaaah. She didn’t seem to mind anyways,

Hux made a fake-gagging gesture at the two and Keith rolled his eyes, whispering at them, “Oh let’em have this. It’s cute.”

“I’m getting diabetes. Like, right now. They’re just beaming diabetes across the room.”

“Be nice,” Nikolai said, “It’s not going to kill you to have to actually smile at a human once in a while.”

“Yes it will. It’s, like, a terminal thing. If I smile at a human, I will instantly turn to dust.”

No such condition had ever existed and likely never would.

Keith’s first instinct was to back up Nikolai, but it was almost an in-joke that he’d at least try to defend Hux no matter how clearly in the wrong the guy was. Admittedly, it was as often as not either due to boredom or just feeling bad for the guy…

It’s not like Hux didn’t have a point – a point that he had iterated in frustrated, sometimes tear-filled tirades at least a few dozen times. He didn’t want to be treated like a pet, he’s allowed to not want to be a pet. Sure, not every adopter is like that. Some might’ve been looking for pets, yeah, but just as many want a kid or a friend, especially with full sized lamia. It could be more or less just like adopting any other monster, save for needing a good deal more raw meat. But Hux didn’t see it that way… Not that Keith ever blamed him. There wasn’t a huge market for full-sized Corals, their reputation as being stubborn, a bit lazy, and tsundere as hell was cute in something you could pick up and snuggle as it chirped indignantly and secretly enjoyed it – like an extra intelligent, reptilian cat – but less so when it was just as big as you and probably stronger. Everyone wanted a housecat, no one wanted a mountain lion. Or those that did need something to growl and hiss would probably pick Kings or Mambas.

Nikolai gave a long-suffering sigh, “You will not turn to dust if you’re forced to be nice every now and then.”

“Yeah I will. It’ll, like, strangle my soul or some shit. Keith, back me up here. Tell ‘im.”

Nikolai had the distinct impression of a haggard mom trying to reason with an unruly kid. He just looked so done. Dude could handle customers, angry mamba moms, being a jungle gym for babies, and training employees who may or may not have believed he knew he what he was doing, but Hux was his breaking point.

Keith stifled a chuckle, stuffing his hands in his pockets as his mind worked over what to do… He didn’t want to just abandon Hux – Nikolai would know it was just him being a loyal bro – but Alex wouldn’t. She might not’ve been looking at them, but he caught the way she kept glancing over…

“Welp, ya heard him. He’s sick. I prescribe ten CC’s of coffee with extra sugar and bribery with shiny objects.”

Hux’s head popped up, body at attention. “I’m listening… How many shiny objects are we talking.”

“… we’re not bribing him.”

“I’ve got extra dice?” Alex said hesitantly. Trousle was looking at her in concern, patting her face. She said, “I mean, I kinda like having all my dice, but I guess I don’t need seven sets… I’m keeping the black ones though, they’re good for fight scenes. And the orange ones, they were my first set ever and are not for sale. Also, the green and purple ones are just a fae vibe, I’m keeping them. They’re just average, but I like them.” Pause. “And the lesbian dice are mine. They won’t like you anyways, you’re a boy.”

All of them nodded understandingly. You could only play DnD so long and not get irrationally attached to the colorful little click clack rocks of fate.

“That counts as one shiny object,” Hux said.

“There are seven in each set!” Pause. “Well, more or less. I’ve lost some over the years.”

“You’ve got a point… More dice for the dice dragon! Mwahahahah!” Hux said, hamming it up.

Keith’s mouth twitched into a grin as he shook his head at the goof. How was he this cute? Just… goober. His friend is a total goof sometimes.

“Can I try the lesbian dice?” Trousle asked, holding himself at an awkward position to type.

“I… I guess? Just give them back after…” Alex said. She ran a finger across Trousle’s head, smiling as he let out little breathy attempts to “Nyeh.”

“Why are they lesbians anyways? Do they only work for girls?” Nikolai said.

“Here, lemme show you.” She unzipped one of the pouches on her bag and brought out a baggy full of dice that were lesbian flag colored. “My friend got them for me for Christmas.”

“That’s amazing. I want twelve,” Keith said.

“You’re not a lesbian… or a girl! I think… I mean, if there’s something you want to tell us, that’s fine, but I was under the impression you weren’t even interested in relationships,” Nikolai said.

“Maybe I could get, like… Dice that are for people who are just no.”

“Ace and aro. Probably,” Alex said.

“Oh cool. Words for it. Nice!”

“Give me words for friends with everyone! I want a flag too!”

“I… I don’t know if there’s a flag for that? Maybe we could put a dog on a flag? It’d be hard to make dice with dogs on them though,” Alex said.

“Ya could put a little dog face on every side and interpret the roll based on how much they’re a Good Boy,” Keith said.

“That would only roll Nat 20’s,” Alex said, deadpan.

“… good point. It could be the luckiest dice,” Keith said, grinning.

“I AM THE GOODEST BOY. Give me dog dice.” Trousle said, tucking the phone away to throw his little fists in the air, a gleam in his eye as he sat on Alex’s head.

Keith laughed. “Oh my gosh. I mean, that sounds adorable, but, uh… I think that miiiiight be a little too game breaking, even for me.”

“Give me dog dice.” He slithered back down to around Alex’s neck, holding himself out towards Keith the best he could and giving some mix between a glare and a pout.

“Trousle no.”

“Trousle YES,” Alex said.

Troulse nodded enthusiastically, bouncing in place so hard that he fell off and Alex yelped as she caught him.

“Are you alright?!”

Trousle gave a thumbs up, coiling around her arm.

Oozy had apparently fallen asleep on the floor, so Hux poked him with a stick, making Oozy whine. “Soooooo… Are we gonna get Glitterass, or are we just shadow banning him from this? I mean, I wouldn’t say no if we are…”

“We should probably go get him, yeah,” Keith said. “Ya ready Alex? Liam’s a mamba, and one of his eyes don’t work. Try to stay on his good side, literally. Metaphorically too if you want, but he doesn’t like having people where he can’t see or hear them well.” Not that anyone would like that, just courtesy really, but maybe not something you’d think of immediately.

Alex nodded, “Alright, let’s go!”

#Lamia Drama #Lamia Drama Part 8 #Keith #Hux #Nikolai #Oozy #Trousle #Keith the Chain #Hux the Coral #Nikolai the King #Oozy the Corny #Trousle the Papython #Bittybones #Lamia Bitties #Vex-Bitties #Longass chapter #I meant to have liam here too but guess not #Kinda rambly

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colorofmymindposts · 3 years

Text

flowers bloom until they rot (or not)

Fandom: BBC Merlin

Pairing: Morgana/Guinevere

Rating: Gen

Status: Complete

Word Count: 886

Summary: Gwen courts Morgana by gifting her flowers. With her powers, Morgana sees no reason to ever let them decay.

Tags: Good Morgana (Merlin), Lesbian Morgana (Merlin), Bi Gwen (Merlin), Gwen's bisexuality isn't mentioned but just Know it is there, Flowers, Fluff, courting, Getting Together, Canon Era, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Gwen is a sweetie and Morgana is smitten

Notes: This can also be read on ao3!

Story: As the king’s ward, Morgana knew no shortage of gifts, tokens, favors meant to elicit her affection. She’d lost count of how many knights had sworn they fought in her name at tournaments, how many lords of the court had presented her with their finest silks from merchants overseas, how many visiting nobles had brought her perfumes to “only make her scent all the more pleasing,” as Prince Harold once told her.

(She and Gwen had exchanged glances and struggled to restrain their silent laughter, though they hadn’t had to wait long after an unimpressed Uther dismissed the court for the day.)

The artisan dresses always made their way into her closets with all the others, the perfumes and shades of rouge were applied without acknowledging who had gifted them, the delectable desserts and sometimes even wines were distributed back amongst the poor on cold winter nights. Perhaps because Morgana lived such a privileged life for so long, she herself could not appreciate the finery of such things, especially when she knew they all were sent to her with ulterior motives. These men thought they could use their coin and little influence to endear themselves to her or even preferably the king—that way they could gain more coin and more influence. She played her part, accepted the so-called chivalry all with a polite smile, but resolutely would never accept their offers for marriage, or the baser ones to pleasure her in bed.

There was but one person in all of the five kingdoms who could merely walk into Morgana’s boudoir and bring her incandescent joy, the one person who thought to handpick flowers for Morgana on a delightful spring day.

Her name was Guinevere. And, likely without even realizing it, she had her mistress’ heart wrapped around her finger.

“The weather is finally starting to turn,” Gwen said one day while brushing Morgana’s hair with practiced strokes. “I think I might start looking for blossoms outside the citadel.”

“The last dusting from this year’s snow has barely fallen off the branches,” Morgana contested, but with no heat. “I hate to crush your hopes, Gwen, but I’m not sure you’ll find anything just yet.”

Morgana noticed Gwen pause in her brushing to flash a brief smile at the mirror so Morgana could see, which she reciprocated kindly.

“Oh, I don’t know about that. You can never tell when something is meant to bloom.”

For the last five years, Gwen had put the florists in the lower market to shame with her thoughtful arrangements, offering them for no fee to all her friends and anyone who looked as though they were having a rough day. The tradition from her maid was just another reason among the many others that Morgana was smitten with her.

While it was not a surprise when Gwen walked into her chambers three weeks later with prim violets dressed up with string, it still sent Morgana’s heart aflutter when they were bestowed upon her with a shy “for you.”

“How sweet,” she replied, hiding her smile in the petals as she took in their scent. “And how did Merlin like his flowers?”

“I—I didn’t get Merlin any flowers,” Gwen said, confusion apparent in her voice.

“Well, I just assumed, with how fond you are of him—”

“Morgana, Merlin is a dear friend, yes, but,” her maid paused, teeth catching on her lower lip. “I thought you might appreciate them more than he would.”

The revelation was unexpected but not an entirely unwelcome one.

“In that case, you can tell him he really is the fool Arthur says he is if he hasn’t tried courting you yet. You would make a most lovely suitor,” Morgana confessed softly, hoping the longing did not seep into her tone.

Every week since, Gwen brought her flowers, each more exquisitely picked out than the last. White lilies, daisies, red carnations, honeysuckles joined the violets in decorating her rooms so much so it could be mistaken for a garden.

“I can stop bringing them if it’s too overwhelming,” Gwen told her one day as they left her chambers for the market. “I just thought some of them would’ve wilted by now, at least the violets!”

Normally, they would have, but Morgana discovered this year she had magic. And, despite the total irrationality in it all, she could not let Gwen’s flowers decay when she had the power to preserve them.

By the eighth week, the aromatic fragrance suffused her quarters, from the chairs to the sheets to her own hair. She was living in a garden of Gwen’s and her making.

“I really don’t understand it, as beautiful as it is,” Gwen admitted bemusedly as she disrobed Morgana for the night.

“Perhaps they just came from a love that never dies.”

Gwen stilled in her movements as Morgana stood exposed, both in her nightdress and with her feelings. It wasn’t the true explanation, she knew Gwen wasn’t stupid enough to buy that, but it was enough of the truth.

For once, the aroma of rose and wildflowers diminished in the favor of Gwen’s scent—herbs and fine-tuned metal—when Gwen spun Morgana around to kiss her desperately.

That night, twice the number of flowers in the rooms bloomed and spilled out of her windows when Gwen deflowered her.

#morgwen #morgana #guinevere #morgana pendragon #bbc merlin #my writing #fanfiction #merlin bbc

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mollymauk-teafleak · 3 years

Text

whose brow is laid in thorn (chapter three)

Chapters: 1, 2, 3

Huge thanks to my lovely friends who beta this for me @minky-for-short and @spiky-lesbian!

Please consider reblogging and leaving a comment on Ao3!

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Molly realises the true responsibilities of being a prince to a realm with a doubtful king...

Alternate: come and get your homoerotic sword fighting, fellow gays

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Mollymauk wondered if people speculated about why he spent so much time down in the practice yards, why the early hours of the morning often found him in the armory or out in the moonlit space at the very centre of the castle courtyard, scimitars whirling like shards of starlight in his hands. Probably they assumed he was down here fucking a succession of stable boys and chambermaids, or else this was where he met his personal smugglers who provided him with various powders and pills and injectables.

He wondered if his father ever proudly spoke of how martial his son was, if he ever boasted of his prowess with weaponry. If he ever took comfort in the fact that, despite it all, at least his heir knew how to kill.

Mollymauk didn’t know what he hoped for. He’d long ago given up on trying to understand what the king wanted from him or whether he cared.

The truth was, training just gave him some comfort. It was repetitive, rhythmic and required all of his attention, even thud of his heavy heartbeat. It was simple. When he was swinging at the wicker targets or spearing sacks of flour shaped vaguely like people or deflecting bolts of low level magic that would give him a faint electric shock if they found his flesh, he wasn’t thinking about how he hadn’t been allowed outside of the castle walls more than a year now. He wasn’t thinking about the poorly concealed fury in his father’s eyes when someone had spoken against him in the last council meeting, the frequency with which the occupants of those other seats rotated out, certain formerly important members that he hadn’t heard from since they’d shown their dissent towards some of the latest policies, the angry letters that came from neighbouring kingdoms.

And he wasn’t thinking about how before too long, it would all be his. And he had no idea what he would do then.

He was no fool, despite his carefully sewn costume. He knew the king was keeping him on a short leash these past few years to groom him for the throne he’d occupy one day, so he could learn to inspire the same fear, the same flinches from a gaze alone, the same ruthlessness. He’d had his years of freedom, of slipping past his guards at night to go to the lower echelons of the city and tip in gold at the taverns. He’d been allowed his friends and their little adventures. He’d been allowed to be himself.

And look at the trouble it had caused.

Mollymauk closed his eyes to it all and slid his scimitars out of their sheaths. The yard around him was silent, these earliest hours just past midnight were the only times when the castle and its hundreds of residents made no noise at all. Just after when the night guard took their leave but before the bakers rose to start up the ovens and begin the morning’s bread. He could be completely alone here.

Beau usually said she would kill him for messing with her grounds, asking him if he was a godsdammned Expositor trained monk of the Cobalt Soul explicitly hired by the king to serve as the master at arms or if he was a pampered parrot of a prince whose grip was always off so he scuffed up her training swords and couldn’t work a staff to save his life. But they both knew about these little night time visits he made when he couldn’t sleep or when the day had just been too much for him and not a word was said. Sometimes he caught her putting the dummies back into place after he’d forgotten exactly how she liked them aligned or rebrushing the sand in the training circle after he’d not done it to her exact specifications. A look would pass between them when she saw him watching, a momentary pause, but then they’d go right back to good naturedly insulting each other as only two friends could and not another word would be said.

Mollymauk was grateful for that. Not that he’d ever tell her.

He’d stripped down to just a loose shirt, bound by the leather guards on his forearms and his tight leggings, hair pushed back off his face with a band. The night air rose chills on his purple skin, prickling as it filled his lungs, waking up something inside him.

His first cut was so sharp it could be heard as it pierced the air. Mollymauk revelled in the stretch of his muscles as he held his sword out in a low lunge, holding as still as he could for a few pulsing heartbeats before sweeping into a whirling storm of attacks at nothing. High cuts, low arcs, turns that brought one leg flush with his nose, seconds where the swords changed hands, moments where one hand was splayed on the sand below him and supporting his whole body, snapshot instants rushing by like lightning. It was a dance and by gods, did he miss dancing.

The swords dance fit his heartbeat so well, when one sword stopped dead with a metallic ring, it was as if his heart had frozen in his ribcage. His eyes snapped open.

And found his nose inches from Caleb’s, his eyes bright and a small smile playing on his face. And his fingers tight around the grip of the short dagger whose guard had caught the point of his scimitar.

“I told you years ago that these curved swords of yours are too easy to turn,” he said in that soft, unassuming way of his.

Molly huffed out a laugh, shoulders relaxing though not enough to break the block between the two blades, “So I move so fast no one has a chance to turn them. Problem solved.”

Caleb’s mouth quirked and one eyebrow lifted as he eyed their crossed blades, “No one?”

“Well...we can’t all be Volstruker.”

Something inside Mollymauk thrilled, against his better judgement. Times like this he could convince himself the last ten years hadn’t happened at all and the Caleb by his side now was the Caleb he’d fallen in love with.

“Perhaps...though you really need to tell me if you’re ever planning on leaving your chambers in the dead of night, your highness. I don’t mind admitting you scared me half to death.”

Molly’s smile curdled with guilt, “Ah. I’m sorry. It’s...it’s been a while since I needed to think about things like that.”

“No harm done,” Caleb allowed, “This time...though as long as I’m here, would you prefer to train with a partner?”

Molly’s laugh rang out across the empty yard and bounced off the stone towers that surrounded them, as he finally broke the embrace of their blades and stepped back, “So you can beat the tar out of me like you did when we were kids?”

Caleb replied with simple courtesy, “Oh, I’m sure his highness’ skills have improved at least somewhat. And if not, well, it is as you say. We cannot all be Volstruker.”

“You’re on. Simple straight blades, if you would be so kind.”

Caleb quickly fetched two from the armoury, their edges filed down so they could serve as training swords. Molly couldn’t help but note Caleb was dressed similarly to himself, a simple sleeping shirt thrown over the trousers from his black uniform, cut close so as not to hamper his moves in combat. He also couldn’t help but note his sleep-tousled hair, not tied away from his hard features, the gentler set of his face than any daylight hour saw, the almost see through cotton of his simple shirt…

Molly slapped himself mentally, turning away as soon as his blade was in his hand. You aren’t being fair to him he snapped, control your damn self.

Best to start soon, so he could chalk his raised pulse and flushed cheeks to something else. He turned as Caleb finished tying back his hair and settled into an easy starting stance, mirror to the one Molly quickly established. Their blades tapped once, as if two old friends in greeting, before Caleb lunged forward with a sudden advance. Molly had to move swiftly to block it with a hurried, sloppy front guard.

He looked at Caleb, scandalised, “Weren’t you asleep not ten minutes ago?”

The ghost of his old friend smiled at him and broke the guard cleanly, beginning a rapid exchange of slash and parry that Molly visibly struggled to counter. It had always been this way between the two of them, Caleb’s Volstruker training more than a match for Molly’s own, even after he’d gotten a Cobalt Soul monk as his instructor. In a way, he’d always secretly appreciated each time Caleb knocked him into the dust.

It was just one of the many ways Molly could know Caleb had seen him as a friend rather than a prince.

For a while it was just the clang of their blades against each other, the scuff of their feet in the sand and their own rapid breathing. Or rather, Molly’s rapid breathing. Caleb was like something robotic, never seeming to tire or miss a single move or break a sweat. Molly, in comparison, could feel a blush raising on his chest and see his breath fogging between them.

In fact, the only time Molly saw any change in his expression was when an empty fade of Caleb’s brought their swords kissing sharply in front of their faces, their noses inches from each other. He thought he saw something in Caleb’s eyes then but it could well have been a flicker of moonlight, a second’s beat before they stepped apart and Caleb lunged again.

Molly was flagging badly after another minute of combat, shoulders heaving and brow furrowing as he moved from guard position to guard position, not even able to try and land a hit on Caleb. Before too long his arm would fail and Caleb would have him.

There would have been something comforting about that. Something familiar.

He was a little regretful when the time finally came to shift the position of his feet ever so slightly, to centre himself almost imperceptibly differently. At Caleb’s next slash, he doubled over, hissing through his teeth, pivoting away from Caleb and cradling his sword arm.

“Ach,” he heard Caleb groan, “Molly, I’m sor-”

He didn’t even get a chance to finish. Because in the time it took to form those syllables, the sword changed from one of Molly’s hands to the other and he struck cobra fast. One foot smartly hooked Caleb’s from underneath him, Molly’s perfectly undamaged sword arm pushing his chest so he went down heavily onto the sand. Before he even registered what had happened, his prince’s sword point was at his throat.

Molly grinned down at him, framed in moonlight, “Yield?”

“Yield,” Caleb didn’t even hesitate. If Molly were in the mood to really indulge himself, he’d have said it was awe making his voice so breathless, “I don’t...what happened?”

“We’re not children anymore, Caleb,” he replied, not hiding the tinge of sadness in his voice, “And I am not Volstruker. I tricked you.”

He was relieved to see the smile break on Caleb’s face and how readily he took the offered hand that replaced the swordpoint.

“No. No, you most certainly are not Volstruker, your highness.”

Once he was upright, Caleb looked at him earnestly, barely even noting the sand in his hair, “Can you teach me how to do that? How to feign it so effortlessly, how you shifted your weight like that…”

Molly chuckled, “Wasn’t part of your training, hm?”

“No,” Caleb frowned a little, though at some thought in his head rather than at his prince, “No, the Volstruker… they wouldn’t ever have thought of it. Showing any kind of weakness, ever even seeing it could be an advantage...it is not their way.”

Their way, Molly bit his lip. Not our way.

He wasn’t being fair, he knew that. But how was any of this fair?

“I can teach you,” he nodded quickly, “Of course I can teach you.”

“You teaching me something...” Caleb smiled, “It would make rather a nice change, wouldn’t it?”

It would be about damn time, Molly thought tiredly.

Neither of them noticed they hadn’t yet unclasped their hands.

Things seemed to have gotten a little easier for Caleb over the last months, at least in some areas. Molly was at least relieved to see that he was willing to spend time with their friends.

It had been awkward at first, when he’d been avoiding them entirely outside of when the constant tether between him and the prince forced it on him, when no one seemed quite sure how to act around this new version of him. Quick hellos whenever Jester came in for one of their regular chats, hellos that fast turned tearful. Sad glances from Beau whenever he accompanied Molly to training, ones that quickly turned to anger on her face. Yasha staring at his back with an unreadable expression.

There had been one quite terrible instance when Veth had come in to change Molly’s bed linen one morning and come face to face with Caleb coming out of his own chambers to greet the prince as he finished dressing. Veth had frozen in place, her eyes wide and so heartbreakingly sad as she faced the young man she’d considered a second son. Caleb had opened his mouth, searching for something, anything, to say but Veth had turned and fled before he could. He’d gone very quiet for the rest of the day, Mollymauk noticed.

But Molly couldn’t avoid his friends forever, not when they’d been the only thing that had gotten him through the last ten years. He missed the evenings where they’d lounge in one of the many royal sitting rooms with their feet up on furniture older than they were, making jokes and laughing, and somehow everything would seem alright. He missed how easy everything had been.

And, as it turned out, sometimes things could be made easy. Because after a few times standing in the corner like a ghost, Caleb was pulled back in slowly and steadily, like a man coming in from the bitter cold to a roaring fire. No one was quite sure how it happened, when he started to smile at Fjord’s stories of the sea again or let Veth sit in his lap like she used to or when Yasha began to shave his beard for him again. There was no grand moment when they all whirled around to see him sitting there in the same spot he’d always occupied, the one that no one had dared move into after he was taken away. It happened gradually, the way small streams ford deep canyons. The way raindrops can bring down a prison wall.

The way hope could bloom in the pit of your stomach no matter how hard you tried.

It was one of those long, golden evenings where all of their schedules somehow managed to align and they all found themselves in the room they usually took over. The fire roared, thanks to Caleb, and the wine was flowing for those who cared to partake, the whole air smelled of freshly smoking wood and velvet and warmth. One of those nights where Molly could look around and feel truly, deeply fortunate, the way all the riches and status and power never made him feel.

“...I’m only saying, if a princess can’t eat lemon cakes at midnight, then what is the point of being a princess?” Jester was saying huffily, her head resting in Beau’s lap, “I’d even go down and make them!”

“If you did, we could kiss the kitchen goodbye,” Molly flicked his tail at her nose, she was well in target from where he sat on the carpet, leaning back against one of the settees to be close to the fire, “Most of the western castle too, probably.”

“Stone doesn’t melt, idiot!” she shot back at him, swiping at his tail like a kitten. Yasha, who had her feet in her lap, somewhere within the skirts of her voluminous dress, snorted.

“Dragonfire can melt stone,” Fjord interjected, sipping his wine, “Saw the ruins of Port Udall once. All the buildings were slumped over like old candles, even the stone ones. The rest of it was bone and old ash and nothing growing. They said an ancient red dragon did it.”

“There! If an ancient red dragon can do it, Jessie can definitely do it,” Molly said firmly, before yelping as his sister caught his tail again in retaliation.

“Thank the gods nothing like that has ever come here,” Veth shuddered, glancing up nervously as if dragons might descend at any moment, “Think of the damage it would do to the lower levels…”

“It would be hard for them to look worse than they already do.”

Of course it was Caleb who’d spoken, his voice was softer and quieter than everyone else’s. And now it was especially faded and sad, enough that the light, jovial tone shrivelled as if it had fallen in the fire, while all eyes went to him.

“What’s that mean?” Beau frowned.

Caleb seemed to shrink a little, as he always did when he was bearing the weight of more than one person’s attention. He cleared his throat awkwardly, “Um...well I saw it as I rode through the city. Have...have any of you been down there recently? To the slums?”

“Slums?” Molly repeated, something gripping his stomach in a tight grip.

“That’s what Master Trent called them,” Caleb blinked, looking around them all, “And..well, the description was accurate.”

“There have been more beggars around the docks recently,” Fjord admitted, looking like a man having a difficult realisation. It was mirrored around the group.

Except on Mollymauk’s face. Mollymauk only felt simmering fury.

“And in the marketplace,” Caduceus echoed, “Everyone I’ve seen, I’ve given food to and I’ve treated some deficiencies I’ve seen but...there’s new faces all the time it seems.”

“Tell me, Caleb,” Molly managed to get out through his gritted teeth.

“Well…” he seemed hesitant, probably seeing what was building in the red eyes staring at him, “There’s shacks thrown up all around the inside of the city walls, some on the outside too when they can’t find the space. There was filth running through the streets, there’s no gutters down there so people must be getting sick. Everyone looked...well, desperate. There were, um...there were children. I don’t think they had anyone to look after them. They seemed hungry. Master Ikithon said a lot of them were coming in from the country, the harvest was so poor that many of them lost their farms when they couldn’t pay their taxes.”

Molly’s voice came out with the dangerous regularity of someone about to explode, “And you’re telling me, Caleb, that I knew none of this. I’m the fucking heir to this entire kingdom and I had no idea my people were starving less than a godsdamned mile from where I’m sitting right this fucking second?”

His voice grew to a roar at the end and a crack ran up the glass goblet he was holding. The wine became vinegar on his tongue. No one knew what to say, there was only the crackling of the fire. Or perhaps that was the fury sparking in his chest.

“There has not been a single word of this at any council session I’ve sat on in the last year, no petitions in court. No word of any kind of help, no plan for what to do. Just more and more shit about the fucking taxes that are apparently starving those people. Is that what you’re telling me, Caleb?”

“Yes,” Caleb’s blue eyes were steady and sad, none of the wariness he saw in his friends.

“Then what the fuck is my father doing about this?” he demanded, barely recognising that he was looking down on them all, that he’d stood up at some point and hardly noticed, “Where the hell is he when his people actually need him? I’m just supposed to inherit a kingdom full of starving people who think the man on all their coins has abandoned them? Is this what being a fucking king is?”

Finally the glass shattered in his grip, filling the stunned silence with an icy crunch and a quick hiss of pain he assumed only he could hear as the shards bit into his hand. The anger burned away quickly, leaving a cold, empty vacuum in its wake that shame and hopelessness rushed to fill. Trembling, he pressed his one good hand over his eyes.

“I’m sorry…” he croaked, “I’m not mad at you all, I just…I shouldn’t have lost my temper…”

He knew his sister had stood and taken his hand by the sweet, almost sugary, vanilla smell of her magic, warm as it ran into his cuts and closed them.

“This isn’t the only thing he’s been keeping from us, is it?” she asked sadly.

Molly opened his eyes, wishing there was anything he could say to take the hurt from her voice. She played the innocent, for her and their family’s benefit, but those wide, purple eyes saw more than anyone would expect. He just wished there were better things to look at.

She’d always wanted to believe the best of their father, the way she wanted to believe in everyone, even after his relationship with their mother had started to fray and he’d caused such damage to Mollymauk. But it wasn’t just him who’d started to see the way the crown had poisoned the man they both used to look up to.

“Well…” she sighed, when her brother’s silence answered her, “This doesn’t have to be the way things are. This isn’t the kind of king you have to be.”

Molly inhaled and exhaled slowly, the ghost of the cuts prickling as he flexed his hand to better hold Jester’s, “He isn’t going to like it.”

The shame at the fear in his own voice roiled inside him. How much had been sliding past because he’d been too scared to see it, how many people had been hurt because he couldn’t stand up to the king?

All of a sudden, the distance between him and his friends shrank, he felt them close about him. He felt hands on his shoulders, on his back, on his arms, eyes on him that didn’t judge or scorn. If this room was the only place where he didn’t have to think about everything that worried him, all the imperfections in his life, then this was where he could be brave.

This was where he could decide what his duty really was.

Mollymauk drew himself up and nodded, “And he can go ahead and not like it. He wants me close, he wants me as his heir then he can deal with the decisions I make. What the hell is he going to do, throw me in the dungeons?”

“You’d break out in five minutes tops,” Beau smiled wryly.

“And we’d come get you in ten,” Fjord nodded firmly.

Molly’s laugh was thin but it was there and he felt better for hearing it, “Well then...I’m going to need some gold. Not from the treasury, my own. We’ll need to bring in food from along the coast, I’ll send a request right now. But until then, we’ll take from the kitchens. We have more than enough, there’s damn well going to be some to spare for our own people. Beau, Yasha, go and commandeer us some wagons.”

“Right now, my prince?” Yasha’s flickering smile showed she knew the answer.

“Of course right now,” Molly nodded, “We’ve let far too much time go by already. Anyone has a problem, tell them they can take it up with their crown prince.”

“And their princess,” Jester interjected, beaming.

Molly grinned back at her proudly, “Are you all with me?”

The resounding, affirmative reply was all Molly needed to carry this the rest of the way with a smile on his face.

He handed out jobs and dispersed them, feeling an unfamiliar but welcome sense of pride in what they were doing, in each of his friends and, if he was honest, in himself. It was then he noticed Caleb, still where he’d been sat for the entire evening, not having moved a muscle though his eyes said everything his friends had if in a different way.

“I’ve been a bit of a fool, haven’t I, Caleb?” he sighed once they were alone, feeling the edges of that pit still inside him, still with some room for guilt and shame.

Caleb rose, crossed the space between them and grasped his hand, steadying him enough that the bad feelings retreated.

“I think you’ve been scared for a long time, Mollymauk,” he spoke softly, eyes gentle and reflecting the movement of the fire, the same one that turned his hair into burnished copper, “But now you’re becoming the king I always knew you were going to be.”

“Always?” Molly found himself having to swallow hard, feeling every inch of Caleb’s skin that pressed against his own.

“Of course. From the moment I met you, I knew you would be a king I’ll be proud to stand beside.”

This high up on the battlements, the wind found its way under Molly’s hood even as tightly as it was pulled down to cover his distinctive purple hair. He felt a churning dizziness in his stomach as he peered over the edge and saw the ground so far below him.

“Ready?”

Beside him, Caleb blended almost perfectly into the evening shadows thanks to his uniform and his bound up hair. Molly might not even have known he was there, if his hand wasn’t on his arm to steady his prince.

Molly flashed him a grimace from under his hood, “Feels a hell of a lot longer than a year since I did this.”

Caleb’s chuckle found him even with the wind whipping around them, “But are you ready?”

He swallowed hard and nodded, feeling the truth of it on his tongue, “I’m ready.”

He went first, partly to prove to his friend that he wasn’t quite as terrified as he appeared, partly to get it over with. One step out into the dizzying expanse of the thin air, the forty or so feet between him and a messy death. The second’s worth of terror as everything dropped and the world began to accelerate around him. And the inhalation, the relief so sharp it was like a mouthful of alcohol as his hand caught the edge of the stone crenellation he’d just leapt from and he held fast.

Molly couldn’t help it, he laughed wildly, stretching out as far as he dared into the nothingness with only the hand keeping him anchored and the flat of his boots on the pebbled wall. The wind snagged his cloak and tried to rip it away but he let it try. He felt like he could have taken flight at that moment.

“Quiet!” Caleb whispered, as he dropped down too with much more grace, “Someone will hear us.”

Though as the wind lifted back his cowl, Molly could see he was smiling.

The rest of the way down the wall was easy, there were pebbles and divots put into the old stone for easy handholds. In fact, it had been specifically designed so, in just this one part of the immense outer wall, with the goal of giving the royal family a secret, easy way out if they became besieged. Molly suspected that he wasn’t the only one to use it for this exact purpose, sneaking out of the palace past his curfew to go drinking with his friends.

Once they hit the ground, they disappeared into the small grove of trees that grew around the castle as an extra line of defence and a pleasant garden for autumn walks and summer picnics. As soon as they were underneath the leaves, black in the thickening twilight, they were invisible to any guards atop the wall who might think to glance down. Molly’s heart stayed in his throat as he ran after Caleb, having to steer by the faintest flickers of his cloak hem in the almost solid blackness before him. Twigs snapped under his heels, the air was cold enough to make his throat ache and his lungs burn but the grin never slipped from his face.

He couldn’t help it, he threw back his head and laughed wildly again, the sound bouncing off the trunks and sounding like the call of half a hundred demented birds.

It just felt so good to breathe again.

The meeting point hadn’t changed from when they were foolish kids doing exactly this. It was the same clearing on the outer edge of the copse, on the far side so they were still hidden from the city. Molly and Caleb weren’t the first ones there, Caduceus and Fjord were already waiting for them, greeting them with the correct response to their own whistled tune, the same they’d always used so they would know it was friends approaching. The girls came after, Beau and Jester already giggling and hanging off each other, Yasha smiling as she carried Veth on her shoulders.

Molly saw something similar to his own excited energy mirrored in his friends. Everyone seemed to feel acutely just how long it had been since they allowed themselves something like this, something that felt like a victory.

When they were children, it would have sufficed just to stay in their little clearing, chase each other around and build forts and knock each other into the little stream. But they certainly weren’t kids any more and they knew of a different way to spend this evening.

There was something undeniably beautiful about the kingdom’s capital, Asarius. Not many visitors would think the same upon seeing the black stone nearly everything was wrought in, its winding street that curved around the hill the city sat on and then branched off in endless alleyways and bolt holes like arteries in a body, the shiny, volcanic cobblestones that lined the streets, the stink and din of hundreds of bodies pressed close together by the city walls. But Mollymauk had always found home here. He loved the paper lanterns that swung above their heads to light the streets, the ones he risked pulling his hood back just a little so he could properly see. He loved the babble of so many voices around him, the brushes of other people’s lives as they streamed alongside his own, never realising that it was their crown prince and his retinue passing them by. He loved the many different carts each selling something exciting and delicious or, well, at least exciting. He loved the different languages, the different kinds of people, all finding their own place in Asarius.

And one day, that place would be under his protection. Every face he passed as they walked down the main street towards the glow of red lanterns would be one of his subjects one day. One of his people.

After the last few weeks, the thought didn’t give him the same terror as it once did.

It had broken his heart to see the poverty festering like a disease in Asarius, the first night they’d taken wagons of food down to the poorest parts of the capital. Every city had its less well maintained streets, it’s darker, more shadowy parts, he knew this, but what he’d seen that night was outright neglect. Children with no families to go home to, curled in gutters like stray dogs. Women clutching babies to their chests in a futile attempt to give them some warmth their humble shelters couldn’t provide. An old bone being seen as a feast, hacking coughs audible from every corner, hungry, defeated eyes from the shadows.

It was neglect. It was cruelty. And it had blossomed under his ignorance.

He’d stepped right off the wagon on that first night, so quickly even Caleb hadn’t been able to catch his arm. He’d taken a loaf of bread from the carts of food stacked in the bed and gently approached the closest citizen, a tabaxi woman with a cub on her knee, sitting on the porch of a lopsided shack with only the city wall to keep it from tumbling over entirely. He’d gone to one knee in front of her, saw her expression turn to one of pure shock and fear as she’d realised exactly who it was.

And as he’d pressed the loaf into her hand, he’d apologised to her. And he’d sworn his family would never forget it’s people again.

It would not be a quick or easy fix. Molly couldn’t go with the wagons every time, as he’d wanted to at first, but he knew to push it only so far. Instead he kept the memories close to his chest, the people’s hands he’d shaken, the children whose hair he’d ruffled fondly and asked their name, the stories every elder had told him. He kept their pleas and their needs and their struggles, took them gladly on his own shoulders and made thousands of promises he intended to keep. Instead, he watched the wagons leave every week, laden with food and oil and fabric he’d purchased, and felt a little more like a prince.

Of course, his stomach had been a solid block of ice when the subject of the charity had been brought up in the council meeting, ever so gingerly, nervous eyes darting to the king to see how he would react to news of every mouth in the slums singing his son’s praises. They’d all known, naturally, that the alms weren’t officially sanctioned, that Mollymauk had acted without his father’s permission.

He’d been every bit as fearful to see what his father would say, he’d felt every second of that long, terrible pause tick by. But he had made himself sit back casually, one leg thrown over the arm of his chair, he’d made his eyes meet the king’s in a steady, even gaze. Only Caleb’s strong, sure presence at his side and the memories of the joy he’d brought had kept it all from crumbling.

“Well done,” the king had eventually replied, one hand coming up to stroke his goatee, “It would seem you’ve finally found a...pet project...that interests you, son. For the time being at least. Chancellor, make sure that in future the charity is paid for by the crown treasury. Just in case my son gets bored and his attention wanders. Wouldn’t be the first time, would it, Mollymauk?”

Molly’s shoulders tightened and he felt the same tension in Caleb beside him. He was an expert in speaking his father’s language and he missed not a single word of what lurked beneath his light, joking tone.

“Fine by me, father. You’ve got me there,” he shrugged in response, flicking his tail idly, “After all, it needs to be done. And...well, it really is a job for the king, isn’t it?”

I can speak it just as well as you, father, are you proud? And I won’t forget what you did. I’m sure you’ll return the favour.

Molly knew some kind of retribution would be coming. But he wouldn’t think about that tonight. Not when the red glow of the lanterns up above was cutting through the gathering night and there was music on the air and the smell of alcohol, a wide variety of perfumes and sparking fires.

They swept into one of the taverns they’d always gone to in their younger days, one where they knew they could count on some discrecion when they pulled their hoods back. As soon as he was under the lintel, Molly felt himself wrapped in warmth and loud, laughing voices and embraced the giddy relief inside him.

Gods, it was so, so good to breathe again.

He let the night run away from him, gladly. It was as if he’d never been away, finding warm, eager welcomes at the dice tables, at the bar, on the dancefloor. In every corner, people clasped his hand and thanked him for his generosity in helping Asarius find it’s pride again and said how good it was to see him back amongst them. Molly gambled freely, he bought drinks, he laughed and swapped stories with the other patrons, he flirted gamely with the servers. In flashes he saw Yasha dominating at arm wrestling competitions and winning almost as many as Jester, he saw Fjord reenacting a fight with some pirates for a captive audience, Cad was choking on some drink Veth had bought for him over at the bar, Beau was making a barmaid blush.

He took a moment to himself, leaning against a beam and taking it all in, enjoying the ache in his jaw from smiling so much. He knew it should feel like ten years ago but, somehow, it didn’t. It felt like here and now.

The only difference was he was happy. At this moment he was happy.

Caleb was sitting at a table by himself which, in fairness, was exactly where he would have been ten years ago. There was, however, a small mug of beer on the table in front of him that had a few sips taken out of it at least.

“You know, for all people hype this up,” he said as Molly approached, turning the tin mug in his hands, “I’d have expected it to taste better.”

Molly laughed, “Not seen you drinking before…”

“No,” Caleb admitted, a smile tugging on his lips, “It seemed like the night for trying something new.”

“Indeed. But how about something old?” Molly returned, suddenly shy and not hiding it on his face.

Caleb’s eyes flickered to his own, questioning. When he saw the hand Molly was extending to him, his expression shifted into something unreadable and he almost lost his nerve.

“Would you like to dance with me, Caleb?”

After a few moments, his old friend smiled and nodded, taking his hand, “Someone might need to protect you out there after all.”

“And there’s no one I’d want more,” Molly beamed.

The musicians were especially fine tonight, the kind of lively tavern music with laughing strings and skirling drums and bawdy lyrics everyone could join in with and slam their drinks on the table to. It was very different from the stiff backed balls that had been his only entertainment recently.

Caleb smiled nervously, “They only taught me how to waltz at the Soltryce Academy.”

“Oh, I seem to remember you not being all that bad,” Molly smiled, holding up his arm for Caleb to mirror as a bright country dance tune burst out from the corner where the musicians were pressed, “But even so, maybe you’ll get lucky and someone will try and assassinate me.”

So at least Caleb had a smile on his face as they began to dance, twirling through a loose knot of other couples like two leaves caught on an errant breeze. It was the kind of stomping, rhythmic, simple two step that left plenty of time for their gazes to linger and hands to brush across each other.

“Not all that different from swordplay, eh?” Molly teased, his voice low under the music.

“I’d rather have steel in my hand, I think,” Caleb smiled, though there was something brittle about it, like he was making his mouth do the movements while his eyes were elsewhere.

When they swapped places, Molly looked around with a moment’s anxiousness. Was he about to be assassinated on a dancefloor? But the place looked much the same as it had before, his friends still mixing and laughing and drinking, part of the warm tapestry of everything.

“I wanted to say thank you,” Molly put in gently, to try and distract him from whatever was causing his anxiety, letting something inside him open up, “Tonight has been...well, it’s been wonderful. It’s been the best night I’ve had in so long and...between this and you opening my eyes to what was going on in my own city, I feel like I’ve remembered who I am. And not just that, I’m becoming someone I actually want to be, ever since you’ve come home. You were right, whatever it looks like, my life is better with you.”

He’d said more than he’d meant to but the night was just so perfect and it had just been so long since he’d felt so free and so like himself, so far from everything he’d been feeling under his father’s thumb. It was like a deep hunger was finally being sated.

And when the dance brought Caleb and Molly back together and he saw the tears in his eyes, it all came crashing down.

“Fuck…” Molly cursed, stopping dead even as the music kept going and the world kept turning, “Oh fuck, Caleb I’m so sorry...that was too much, I shouldn’t just have rambled on like that.”

“No,” Caleb shook his head, a slight tremble in his hands, “Gods help me, it’s not that, it’s the opposite…”

“Caleb…” Molly breathed, the giddiness from before now a sickening emptiness. Suddenly the lights seemed too bright and the music too loud, the laughter around the room now aimed at him.

The rest of the world caught up with them in a sharp, sudden lurch. Cold wind poured through the door which had been thrown wide. Framed in now harsh red light was one of the royal messengers, their eyes wide and the set of their mouth grim.

“Word from the palace,” their voice sounded through the room like a death knell, “A curfew is in effect from this moment forth, all citizens of Asarius must return to their homes and clear the streets. The Jagenoths have invaded our northern shore.”

The pronouncement was greeted with silence and stares, the kind of silence that followed the sound of ice cracking underfoot. Molly was so aware of the eyes on him, the weight of their shock as they looked to their prince.

From across the bar, he saw his little sister mouth his name, the naked fear on her face.

He found he had no comfort to give them. He’d had the floor ripped out from under him, just the same as the rest of them. All he could think of was the way his father had smiled at him across the council table, the hardness in his eyes.

He wasn’t surprised when the words finally came from the messenger.

“The kingdom is officially at war.”

#widomauk #royal au #tw: brainwashing #mollymauk tealeaf #caleb widogast #cr fic #please reblog and comment!

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andhumanslovedstories · 4 years

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Recent country songs that have made me literally gay gasp as a gay woman, in order of how much they make me want to write an essay on gender and queerness

HONORARY MENTION BUT JUST BECAUSE I THINK THIS IS TECHNICALLY AMERICANA NOT COUNTRY (but genre is fake) AND THIS SONG ISN’T RECENT (2014 and I’ve been listening to it faithfully since then) BUT I ONLY RECENTLY LEARNED IT’S A COVER AND THAT’S MADE ME RECONTEXTUALIZE IT: “Murder in the City” by Brandi Carlile, a cover of The Avett Brothers where she changed the words “make sure my sister knows I loved her/make sure my mother knows the same” to “make sure my wife knows that I love her/make sure my daughter knows the same” which fucking. fucking gets me. Especially since the first time that I heard this song, I assumed it was from a man’s point of view because of that line, and then I learned that Brandi Carlile is a lesbian and I was caught up in my foolish heteronormitivity, and then I learned it was a cover and thought oh okay I guess the song is originally from a man’s pov and it’s cool she covered, and then I learned she changed those lines to make a song that already feels deeply personal to her to explicitly include her love for a woman and the family they’ve made together. And that’s just. It’s all just a lot.

3) “Fooled Around and Fell in Love” by Miranda Lambert featuring Maren Morris, Elle King, Ashley McBryde, Tenille Townes and Caylee Hammack, because the first time it came up on my spotify, I saw the title and was like “hey dope I like this song” and then I heard the first line was still “I must have been through about a million girls” and I realized none of the words or pronouns were getting changed and I was getting the song I’ve always wanted and deserved: a high production value, high energy, big girl group tribute to being a lesbian fuckboy who Fooled Around And, oops can you believe it, Fell in Love.

2) “If She Ever Leaves Me” by The Highwomen, sung by Brandi Carlile who is, as mentioned, lesbian, but since I’m apparently still chugging my comp het juice, I was still trying to figure out if this song--a classic “hey buddy keep walking, she’s my girl and she’s not interested” song with an interesting element of the singer being aware the relationship might not last anyway--was gonna be explicitly queer. And then there’s the line, “That's too much cologne, she likes perfume,” and I was like OH HOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!

This is immediately followed by the lines “I’ve loved her in secret/I’ve loved her out loud” which is also deliciously queer in this context, with this singer and that juxtaposition, but the line that really fucking got me is my favorite of the song: “If she ever leaves, it's gonna be for a woman with more time.” This is two women in a complicated relationship. This isn’t just a “keep walking, cowboy” song, it’s a song that uses that framework to suggest a whole ass “Finishing the Hat”** relationship, and that’s so interesting to me. Like a song that isn’t just explicitly about two women in love but one that conveys very quickly a rich history between the two of them. And in a genre where the line “Kiss lots of boys, kiss lots of girls if that’s something you’re into” was revolutionary representation.

(Fun fact, “Follow Your Arrow” was partially written by Brandy Clarke, another country lesbian! Another fun fact, so is basically every other good country song. Brandy Clark, please write a big lesbian country anthem, I know it will immediately kill me on impact.)

To quote one youtube comment, “”lesbians how we feeling??” and to answer by quoting some others, “As a closeted baby gay in the 90s, who was into country, this song would have changed my life”, “I just teared up. So many happy tears, as a gay woman raised on country music, this is something that's definitely been needed. Thank you Brandi. Thank you highwomen”, “This song means more than I can say in a youtube comment”, and “Lesbians needed this song :)”

It’s me. I’m lesbians.

**ANOTHER HONORARY MENTION EXCEPT IT ISN’T RECENT AND IT ISN’T COUNTRY SO I GUESS THIS IS JUST A MENTION, BUT I AM INTERESTED IN THIS SONG--“Finishing the Hat” by Kelli O’Hara. A very good Sondheim joint, that’s about making art, the costs of its obsessive and exclusive nature and the incomparable pleasure of putting something into the world that wasn’t there before. It’s such a traditionally male narrative that I’m thrilled to find a wonderful female cover of it. I’m not even fussed about her changing the gender from the lover who won’t wait for the artist (except that the shift from “woman” to “one man” sounds so clunky) because there’s value turning this song into a lament of the men who won’t love artistic women. But I do also wish she’d also recorded a version that kept the original gender so it would be gay. OKAY BROADWAY TANGENT OVER, BACK TO COUNTRY.

1) “Highwomen” by The Highwomen, ft. Yola and Sheryl Crow. I can’t even express the full body chills the first time I heard this. Like repeated, multiple chills renewed at every verse of the song. This really closely parallels my experience with “Fooled Around and Fell in Love” up there, because when I started it I was like “oh dope I know what this cover will be” and then the lyrics started and I was like “OH MY GOD I DIDN’T.” In the case of “Fooled Around” it’s because I was amazed that they kept the original words. In the case of “Highwomen” I fucking transcended because they changed them.

So I grew up on Johnny Cash, obsessed with a couple of his albums but largely with a CD I had of his greatest hits. (Ask me how many times I listened to the shoeshine boy song. Hundreds. Johnny Cash told me to get rhythm and I got it.) And my FAVORITE was “Highwayman” from the country supergroup he was in, The Highwaymen. The concept of the song is that each of the four men sing a verse about a man from the past and how he died. It’s very good. The line “They buried me in that grey tomb that knows no sound” used to scare the shit out of me. I didn’t expect to have a song that targets so specifically my fear of being buried alive in wet concrete.

(If you haven’t heard the song, by the way, listen to this version to properly appreciate it as a piece of music. If you have, watch the fucking music video holy shit this is a work of art oh my GOD.)

So I was predisposed to love this cover before I even heard it. But then I heard it. And they rewrote the song to be about historical women. And it’s like. There’s layers here okay.

Neither the Highwaymen nor the Highwomen are signing about famous people. This isn’t a Great Man tour of history, it’s about dam builders and sailors and preachers and mothers and Freedom Riders and also Johnny Cash who flies a starship across the universe, as you do.

In the 1986 version, it’s a song about the continuity of life--the repeated idea is “I am still alive, I’m still here, I come back again and again in different forms.” The highwayman is all the men in the song. He reincarnates. The song is past, present, future. The title is singular, masculine. The same soul, expressed through multiple voices, multiple lives.

In the 2019 version, the title is plural, feminine. Highwomen. This song is about women. Each verse asserts the same motif as the 1986 version--“I may not have survived but I am still alive”--but there is no implication of reincarnation. Each woman is her own woman. This version has a final verse that the previous versions lacks. The singers harmonize. It’s not a song where one voice replaces another, the story of this One Man progressing through time. It ends in a chorus of women saying “We are still alive.”

We are The Highwomen Singing stories still untold We carry the sons you can only hold We are the daughters of the silent generations You sent our hearts to die alone in foreign nations They may return to us as tiny drops of rain But we will still remain

And we'll come back again and again and again And again and again We'll come back again and again and again And again and again

Another fun fact! The first time I heard them sing “We are the daughters of the silent generations” I died! But luckily I came back again and again and again.

This is a song about the continuity of history. It asserts that women’s historical lives matter and that they continue to matter, long after they died. This is a song about legacy as well, the legacy of nameless women who worked to protect the ones they loved and make the world better. They don’t die by chance. They are all hunted down by political violence, by racism, by misogyny, for stepping outside their prescribed roles. But, as Yola (who btw fucking CRUSHES THE VOCALS ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? HOLY SHIT MA’AM) sings as a murdered Freedom Rider, she’d take that ride again. And at the end of the song, she joins the chorus but does not disappear into it. Her voice rises up out of crowd. And the crowd calls itself “we”. These women are united but not subsumed into being One Woman. This is about Women.

And then, outside the song itself, there’s the history of this song about history. It’s originally by Jimmy Webb and was covered by Glenn Campbell. This cover inspired the name of the supergroup that covered it, the group with Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, Waylon Jennings, and my man Johnny Cash. And it’s like holy shit! What an amazing group to collaborate! Hot damn!

Then, it’s 2019 and here’s The Highwomen with Brandi Carlile, Natalie Hemby, Maren Morris, and Amanda Shires. The name is obviously riffing on The Highwaymen. Shires set out to form the group in direct response to the lack of female country artists on the radio and at festivals. And they name themselves after a country supergroup, and they put out this song, a song connected to massive names in country music, and they center all of this on women and womanhood and the right of women to be counted in history and to make history and to talk about the ways we have mistreated and marginalized women, in a group that started because one woman was like hey! we’re mistreating and marginalizing women!

I just think this is neat! I think there’s a lot here we could unpack! But this post is 100 times longer than I was planning and work starts in a bit so uh I’m gonna go get dressed and listen to The Highwomen on repeat for the next hour, “Heaven is a Honky Tonk” is another fucking bop that improves on the original, it would be dope if they’d collab with Rhiannon Giddens, okay byyyyyyyye

#don't even know what to tag this bc for one there's way too many links for this to show up in any tags!!#country music #long post #surprisingly long post!#feel free always to rec female country/americana/folk/bluegrass to me esp if it's gay

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