#okay fine.. little detour because i thought this ask was funny. Can you blame me?!

[buwheal]

Do you have any other songs available? This jingle is starting to get a little old, no offense.

#okay fine.. little detour because i thought this ask was funny. Can you blame me?! #[you've got mail!] #it feels weird not seeing him squint all the time. And thats partially my bad because i accidentally got used to it even though like #hes not supposed to squint all the time. And he knows that because he'll stop when he notices. Its just a bad habit lol. #spamton #spamton g spamton #deltarune #deltarune spamton #deltarune chapter 2

[jaehyunfirstlove]

Highway to Heaven - Ch. 2

Your best friend Johnny wants to go on a road trip. The only catch? He wants to bring his roommate, Jeong Jaehyun, someone you just couldn’t stand.

Genre: e2l, fluff, angst, (eventual) smut

Warnings: none for this chapter :)

Ch. 1

A/N: So I only did minor research into the area mentioned (meaning I used my memory lol) so please bear with me :)

You stopped to get gas before it was your turn to drive, and you and Johnny argued again while Jaehyun went inside to buy snacks. He didn’t stop or look your way on his way back to the car, just got inside, put his airpods in and tucked into the snacks. By the time you got inside the car you were livid.

“You think you’re always right and it drives me insane!” you yelled at your best friend as you got into the driver’s seat.

“I don’t think I’m always right! But I know I’m right this time!” he yelled back.

“You can think that way all you want, doesn’t mean everyone has to agree with you!”

“I don’t need you to agree with me, I just want you to keep an open mind!”

“I have an open mind! I just happen to know exactly how guys like this are!” You immediately stopped talking, realizing your mistake, and hazarded a cautious look in the rearview mirror to see if Jaehyun heard you. He was looking out the window, humming along to the music playing in his airpods, seemingly oblivious to your tirade.

Johnny sighed in frustration. “Listen, just hold out for the next few days and I promise I’ll never ask for another favor ever again.”

You opened your mouth to answer but there was nothing else to say. Johnny put his airpods in, rested his head on the headrest, and closed his eyes.

You sighed too, turning on the radio for some background noise to drown out the thoughts in your head. You didn’t mean to be so stubborn, you really did have an open mind and weren’t usually so judgmental with people. But your ex-boyfriend had been a player, someone you had loved and trusted and he had broken your heart. You’d had a difficult time trusting anyone since then, and Johnny had been the only one you could confide in. He’d been there with you as you cried your eyes out over pints of rocky road, answered your drunken rants at four in the morning, forced you to eat real food after bouts of depression robbed you of your appetite. So you were completely incensed that he would want you to make nice with someone who had the same qualities as the man who had broken your heart.

Anger bubbled up again the more you thought about it, but before you could give it a voice you felt someone poking lightly at your elbow. You turned to see Jaehyun handing you a bag of gummy bears.

“I meant to give this to you earlier but you seemed busy,” he said softly, keeping his voice low as Johnny was lightly snoring, “I got it at the gas station. Here, I opened it for you,” he propped the open bag up on the console and then sat back in his seat.

You don’t know what came over you but you suddenly felt tears prick your eyes, and quickly swiped them away with the back of your hand. You saw that it was your favorite brand too, not a common one so he would have had to search for it.

“How did you know?” you whispered, still in shock. This was the last thing you’d expected from him. You figured getting you into bed was the only thing he was interested in, not the brand of candy that you preferred.

“Johnny told me,” he shrugged, and gave you a small smile before going back to his airpods.

You shook your head, determined not to let this sway you. It’s going to have to take more than just gummy bears to get you on my good side, you thought.

You set your jaw and stared at the road ahead.

---

When it was Jaehyun’s turn to drive you sat in the backseat and tried to sleep, but the two of them were laughing and joking around so much that it was distracting you. You hadn’t ever really noticed their dynamic, but now that you were a captive observer you couldn’t avoid it. Johnny was just as funny and laid back as he was with you, but there was an easy rapport he had with Jaehyun that you’d never seen before. And this was definitely a side of Jaehyun you’d never seen. He was goofy, cracked silly jokes and made even sillier faces. It seemed like they had a ton of inside jokes, because every now and then they would just crack up after a moment of silence. You were blindsided.

“Y/N, I thought you were going to sleep,” Johnny had noticed you, staring wide-eyed at them.

“Sorry, were we being too loud?” Jaehyun said softly. You blinked twice and then rearranged your features.

“No, it’s okay, I wasn’t tired.” You took that moment to look outside the window and noticed something. “Hey, we’re not on the 101 anymore? Where are we going?”

Jaehyun and Johnny exchanged looks before Johnny turned to you, “We’re heading to a bus station, Jaehyun’s going home.”

“What?” you asked in shock, “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Jaehyun answered lightly, “I just figured it was a mistake for me to come along, there’s uh, stuff I need to get done.” He cleared his throat at the obvious lie, hoping you wouldn’t notice.

“Oh,” was all you could say. Your emotions churned in your gut, almost making you feel nauseous. While you’d love for it just to be you and Johnny, like old times, you couldn’t deny that something about Jaehyun was pulling at you. Neither of them spoke after that, and the silence in the car was deafening. You knew exactly why he was leaving.

“What kind of stuff?” you challenged.

“Huh?”

“What kind of stuff do you have to do?” you stared at the back of his head, hoping he felt your eyes boring into his skull.

“Uh, just some, uh, things for work.” He answered, rubbing the back of his neck - a telltale sign of someone not telling the truth.

“Mm,” you hummed. You turned to your best friend, who’d been quiet throughout this entire exchange, “Johnny? Do you have something to add?”

“Nope, nada, nothing.” He made the motion of zipping his lips, and you knew exactly why. In all the years you’d known Johnny, he was incapable of lying. He would stutter, his face would turn red, and he would eventually blurt out the truth in frustration.

Taking a glance at his roommate, Jaehyun laughed nervously. “No really, Y/N, it’s important stuff I need to take care of, I didn’t tell Johnny about it till now. My fault.”

Johnny’s face indeed turned red, “Y-yup! He told me just, uh, just now! N-no idea, he, uh, had this… stuff, he had to d-do for uh, ummm, w-work… ah screw it!” He pulled his hair in frustration. Jaehyun looked over at him, an anxious look on his face. You waited in the backseat.

“He said he heard us arguing and he knew it was about him and he can see that you’re clearly not happy with him coming along! Okay??!! Are you happy?” Johnny blurted it all out in one breath. Your jaw dropped open. Jaehyun’s face turned beet red, all the way to his ears.

“You- you heard us?” you said quietly.

“No! No I didn’t really hear anything, don’t worry!” he tried to smooth everything over, but you knew from the look on his face that he had, “I just don’t want to be the third wheel, this is your trip with Johnny, I shouldn’t have come along in the first place.”

“Dude, I basically forced you to come.” Johnny said in a deadpan voice.

Jaehyun smiled weakly at Johnny, “Thanks man, I know you meant well. I’ll be okay.”

The last part he said with a vulnerability in his tone that made your chest ache. You looked over at his face but it was stoic, only his eyes held something faraway. Despite your misgivings about him, you thought you shouldn’t rob him of time he could spend with friends. You definitely needed it after your breakup, so it would be terrible to keep it from him as well.

“I don’t agree with this plan,” you suddenly said, making both of them turn to you in surprise, “The bus station will take us too far out of the way, adding more driving time to the trip and therefore making it more exhausting for everyone involved-”

“Actually I calculated it and it’s just an extra twenty min-” Jaehyun began.

“-and,” you continued, completely ignoring him, “I totally don’t believe you about this so-called ‘stuff’ you have to do anyway so don’t even bother.”

Johnny snickered, punching Jaehyun lightly in the shoulder, “Told you she wouldn’t believe you!”

---

The little detour put you off schedule so by the time you pulled up to the roadside motel it was late, and the last room left had only one bed. You sighed in exasperation, wanting to blame the two of them for their stupid little charade that put you all in this position.

“Theoretically, it’s a king-size bed so we could all fit…” Johnny started, and you shot him a look that could kill. He only shrugged. “I’m just saying, I’m not precious about these things. I’ll sleep anywhere with anyone. You two figure it out then.” He grabbed his suitcase and started to unpack.

You looked at the bed longingly, you had meant to sleep in the car but never got to, and you were exhausted.

“You and Johnny take the bed,” Jaehyun offered, seeing the look on your face, “I always sleep better on the floor anyway.” Before you could protest he took the extra blankets and pillow from the closet and laid them out on the floor, making a cozy little nest for him to sleep in.

“Is it okay if I wash up first?” he asked, and both you and Johnny nodded. When the bathroom door closed behind him Johnny smiled widely at you.

“See? See what I mean? Isn’t he nice?” he needled you, elbowing you in the side for good measure.

“There’s more to being nice than just giving up a bed for one night,” you huffed. Johnny made like he was going to scream.

“You’re something else, Y/N,” he shook his head, “but I know you, you’re starting to warm up to him!” he teased, acting like a middle-schooler making googly eyes.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you rolled your eyes at Johnny’s antics. You should’ve been used to his behavior by now, but his teasing was starting to get to you.

“You wouldn’t let him go home! I thought for sure you’d be happy that he wanted to leave! I thought you’d say ‘oh, you want to go home? Well go ahead then! Boo hoo you broke up with your girlfriend! Sucks to be you!’ but you didn’t!” Johnny started laughing then, clutching his stomach and falling dramatically to the floor. You wanted to punch him, and if there hadn’t been a third party to witness it you would have certainly done damage.

“No one deserves to be alone in his position,” you said in your defense, “No matter what I think of him, breakups suck and I wouldn’t want even my worst enemy to suffer like that alone.”

Johnny stopped laughing, wiping away the tears that had formed at the corners of his eyes from laughing so hard. He put an arm around you and smiled.

“Thanks, Y/N. That’s all I wanted, was for you to see him as a human being with feelings, not just some preconceived notion of what he was like.”

“I guess he’s not so bad,” you weren’t completely convinced, but at least now you were willing to give him a chance, “besides, the two of you seem really close so I wouldn’t want you to miss out either.”

“Aww, I love you too!” he pretended to sob and pulled you in for a hug. You sighed, laughing at Johnny’s penchant for the dramatic.

“You guys are so cute,” Jaehyun had come out of the bathroom, changed into a simple black tee and plaid pajama pants. His hair was slightly damp, his bangs falling slightly into his eyes, his face fresh and his skin dewy. You’d never seen him in that light and you couldn’t help but stare. He smiled shyly when you noticed him, and quickly went over to his blanket nest.

“Hey, if it’s okay, can you spare an extra pillow? I need something to hug to help me fall asleep.” He seemed hesitant to ask, but it seemed that he was feeling more comfortable with you.

“Oh, sure,” you looked over and indeed there were three pillows on the bed. You grabbed one and threw it to him. He caught it handily and flashed you that dimpled smile, and you actually felt your face flush. You turned away quickly so he wouldn’t see, but Johnny had caught the entire scene and giggled at you. You mouthed for him to shut up, throwing a pillow at him too, but he dodged it easily, laughing the whole time. When you picked up another pillow to throw at him he ran into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind him.

“Coward!” you yelled, and you could hear him giggling behind the door. Jaehyun was sitting on the floor watching the two of you, laughing softly. You couldn’t help but smile at how happy he looked, it definitely made you feel good that you could lift his spirits like that.

“You and Johnny are so fun together,” he mused.

“We’ve known each other for a long time,” you answered, sitting on the bed to face him.

“He told me you grew up together?”

“Yeah, we were neighbors for a long time. We went to the same schools, our families hung out together, that kind of thing.” This was certainly the longest conversation you’d had with him, but you found that you didn’t mind it.

“Mm. That’s awesome. I wish I had a friend like that. I moved around a lot as a kid, so I don’t have any lifelong friends. You guys are lucky.”

“Oh. Well you and Johnny seem close? I know you haven’t been roommates for long.” you offered.

He nodded, “Johnny’s one of those people that you like right away, you know? He’s just really chill and really nice, like really nice.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” you agreed.

“It makes sense that you two would be friends. Nice people attract nice people.”

Wait, was that a line?

“Well, good night,” he said, pulling his blanket up and turning over. He pulled the extra pillow towards him and hugged it tightly, and soon enough he was snoring softly.

#jaehyun imagines #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun smut #nct imagines

[chocoholicannanymous]

Free Kurt - Isabelle style (Glee)

This is part of the Free Kurt event, where different fic writers all present a take on how the proposal from 501 could have ended better for Kurt by use of one character. I decides on Isabelle Wright, and here you have 2020 (fittingly) words of “Free Kurt - Isabelle style”.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except an overactive imagination and way too many plotbunnies.

“Getting a choice means you gotta make one. Relax. Hear what the guy has to say. All you gotta do is say yes, no or maybe.”

“Is there another option?”

~*~*~*~

Kurt turns towards Dalton, steeling himself to go inside and meet Blaine. To start a new phase of his life - their lives. And then his phone rings.

“That can wait, can’t it, buddy?”

“I just need to check, oh, I have to take this. I’m sure it won’t take long. Just…” He walks a bit, not wanting his dad to hear if this is one of those calls.

“Isabelle! Is there something wrong?”

“No, no! Well, a little, but! You're just the guy to fix that. I remember right that you were flying back today, right? Would you be amenable to show up at Vogue, paid time, and help out at a party? Chase was supposed to be there and write about the outfits, but Marcel is in the hospital so Chase has to cover for him.”

“I...don't know if I'll be able to make it in time.”

“Traffic? I'll send a car for you, obviously, and pick an outfit from the vault.”

“I'm sorry, I mean I'm not sure if I'm going to make my flight.”

And he isn't. It hasn't hit him until now – how? why? – that even though he left with plenty of time to get to the airport and through security it might not be enough to also get through the proposal. He'd thought so, before, but really when he actually thinks about it? That would depend on Blaine being brief. Oh, and letting Kurt leave after. Is he going to want me to do that? Or is he expecting us to do something together?

Surely Blaine must have planned for Kurt making his flight though? Or made other arrangements? I'm already checked in though, I did that yesterday. So clearly no one's changed my flight.

“Kurt? Is something wrong? Are you... Are you not at the airport? Did something happen with your dad?”

Isabelle's voice is rising, worried, and he takes a second to feel cherished by that while hurrying to calm her down.

“Oh no, he's fine. Just, I'm not at the airport. There was a detour. I... I'm at a surprise proposal.”

“Really? Whose?”

Blaine's. “Mine.”

“Wait, what? Didn't you go down alone? Oh, did blond and cute go with you after all?”

“No, Adam is... We're over.”

“You broke up? You left here 10 days ago, dating Adam , and now you’re telling me that not only did you break up with him in that time, but also you started dating someone new? And you’re being proposed to? Am I hearing this right?

“What happened, Kurt?”

“I couldn’t commit to Adam. He offered to come with me, you know that, but I turned him down. That was pretty telling, that I didn’t want him to come with me. If it’d been serious, if I’d been willing to commit to him, well… I wouldn’t have said no then, would I? If I didn’t want him here with me during this, if I didn’t want him to come with and meet my family and friends, then clearly I wasn’t that invested.

“Better to break it off then.”

It had hurt, sure, because he’d really enjoyed being with Adam, but once it’d been pointed out to him…

“Okay, say I buy that - and we’re talking more about that when you come back, mister, don’t you doubt it! - what about this new relationship? How can you be ready to commit to someone else this soon?”

“I never had a problem committing to Blaine.”

There’s silence at the other end, enough that Kurt starts questioning if the call’s been disconnected.

“Isabelle?”

“You…” Her voice does a funny thing, and she starts over again. “You’re back with him?”

When he confirms it Isabelle starts talking fast, clearly not willing to let him say anything else.

“Blaine. Cheated on you after 2 weeks, Blaine. Blamed you for it, Blaine. Almost got you in trouble at work, Blaine. Made you feel like shit for months, Blaine. You’re back with him. And he’s proposing? You got back together, what, five minutes ago?”

Yesterday, Kurt thinks. We got back together yesterday. He doesn’t say that though.

“We were together for a year and a half. It’s not like he’s some stranger. This is, I always saw us ending up here. This was my dream, Isabelle, for so long.”

“”Before, and I cannot stress this enough, he cheated on you. How can you be sure he won’t do that again? After all, you’re coming back to New York. He’s going to be in Lima, still in school. That didn’t work so well last time.

“As you said, you didn’t have a problem committing to him. He on the other hand...”

It stings, to hear Isabelle reference such a painful experience so casually. Kurt swallows it down though, arguing back. “It’ll be different this time. He promised he’d never hurt me like that again. And he signed Oprah’s non-cheating contract.”

Except he hadn’t, not yet, but he’d promised to do it and surely that has to mean something?

“The fact that a non-cheating contract even entered the picture isn’t exactly the strong argument you seem to think. At least not in his favor.

“Kurt, honey, I'm saying this from a place of love. Have you completely lost your mind?”

And that, that hurts. He’s not crazy. This is the right thing to do. Everyone else thinks so, so why can’t Isabelle see it?

“Now, I’m not going to tell you that you can’t date someone, or get engaged, or hell, even married - though I do hope he doesn’t have an officiant standing by - but what’s the hurry? Why does he have to propose now?”

And well, Kurt doesn’t have an answer to that - and he’s searched, having asked himself the same question.

“He’s just, he’s always been excitable. Besides, seize the moment, you know? You never know what happens.”

He can’t be sure, but it sounds like Isabelle is muttering something about finding him a therapist. Surely not though?

“And I, Isabelle, it took me forever to find Blaine. What if I never meet anyone else who makes me feel the way he does?” Kurt politely ignores the hrumpf on the other end.

“Honey, you’re young. So, so young. You have your whole life ahead of you. And if it doesn’t happen? I am more than twice your age.” And wow, things has to be really serious if Isabelle is admitting to that. “I’m single. I’ve never been married, or engaged. I don’t have kids. By now, I’m pretty sure neither of that will change.

“Does that make me - or my life - worth any less?”

“No! Of course it doesn't. Just... It’s not what I want for me,” Kurt adds in a low voice.

“And that’s okay. As I said, you’re young. You have time to get to where you want to be. It doesn’t have to be a race. Not everyone find their place - or their person - at 20. That you would walk through life and never meet anyone else who could love you, and appreciate you? That’s impossible.”

Kurt feels the word sink into him, and before he can think twice he whispers “dad said I looked like he was driving me to my execution”.

“Wait, what? Look, I know that as your boss I don’t have the right to tell you what to do with your private life, but I’d like to think that I’m a little more than just your employer. So please, listen. Don’t be in such a hurry to do this. Not after just a few days. Not if you’re unsure enough that you look like that. Please. Come back to New York. Take some time to think. To just date again and adjust to how you’ve changed. Because that’s going to change how you are together as well.

“Put yourself first.”

Put himself first? Kurt isn’t even sure how to do that. It means disappointing his dad. Disappointing Blaine. He...doesn’t have a great track record with that.

But that’s his answer right there, isn’t it? He isn’t thinking that what’s right for him is to walk inside and let Blaine propose. He’s thinking about walking away.

“I’ll call you when I’m back in New York, okay? Bye Isabelle. And...thanks for listening.”

He walks back to the car and his dad, who’s looking kind of worried.

“That took a bit longer than I thought. Everything okay?”

“Yes, I think it is.” In the corner of his eye Kurt spots people spying from Dalton’s balcony and the door, looking restless. Apparently he’s not following the script.

“So, ehm, can you just drive me to the airport like we agreed?”

Burt Hummel looks like a stranded fish, and under other circumstances Kurt is sure he'd find it amusing. Now, not so much.

“What? What about-”

“I decided that I did have another option, one that doesn’t mean listening to Blaine. I’m not ready to say yes to what he wants to ask me, and I want to leave.”

“What about Blaine? Are you really going to leave him hanging like this?”

And ouch, that might be justified, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt to hear it from his dad. Isn’t my dad supposed to back me? Where was this attitude when it was Finn? And right, he’d forgotten for a bit, the memories swept away in his dad’s pushy encouragment. Burt had hated Finn’s engagement to Rachel, not to mention the wedding-that-wasn’t.

“Good to know whose side you're on.”

They stare at each other. Kurt has folded so many times in similar situations, but this time he’s going to stand by his decision.

“I gotta say, buddy, this isn't like you.”

“Well, maybe my usual habit of doing not what I want but what I think the people around me want isn't working for me any longer.”

Which is true, and how could I have let myself almost be backed in a corner like that? but his dad takes it badly.

“This is… This is because of whoever called you right now, isn’t it? Why are you allowing her to change your mind like this? Not five minutes ago you were going to at least hear Blaine out. Who's this Isabelle to tell you not to?”

“Apparently the only person in all of this who’s on my side.”

“Hey! That's not fair!”

“Not fair? Life’s not fair! And you know what, something else that’s not fair? Dad, you told me you thought I looked like you were driving me to my execution. We both knew it was a proposal, yet that's how you thought I looked. And somehow that didn't make you question anything? I couldn't tell you if I was okay or not. Again, you didn't question it. I asked you if there was another option to answering him! Again, you just told me to go ahead. To listen to what Blaine had to say.

“Isabelle didn't tell me what to do, she told me to listen to myself! She reminded me that I do have options. I'm the one choosing which one to take, and that's going to the airport and then back home.

“Now, are you going to drive me?”

Kurt waits for an answer. Once he finds himself beginning to count seconds he gives up. He walks over to the car, grabs his bags, tells his dad he'll call once he lands and starts walking. His blood is pounding in his ears, to the point where it’s all he hears, and he just. Keeps. Walking. Reaching the end of the driveway makes it feel better, but not safe, not yet. He takes the first corner, twists through the sidestreets with hurried steps, looking for a place to hide and make a call.

Ten minutes later he’s in the back of a cab, heading towards the airport, with his phone turned off and his heart in his throat, feeling utterly, heartbreakingly relieved.

~The End ~

#chocoholic fics #kurt fic #kurt hummel #isabelle wright #free kurt #episode revamp

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Follow Me Home (Part 6)

Summary: Dean and the reader take a detour with Hawkins to get his side of the story and figure out who to believe once and for all...

Pairing: Cop!Dean x reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 3,200ish

Warnings: language

A/N: Enjoy!…

______

“What?” said Hawkins ten minutes later, pulling out of the highway rest stop. 

“Did you really have to steal a car?” said Dean from the passenger seat. “And insist on driving?”

“You just punched Dean in the face, Hawkins,” you said, crossing your arms. 

“I’m sure he’s been punched before. He seems the type,” he said, getting onto a side road and heading South. 

“I don’t think your dads like me very much,” laughed Dean, rubbing his face.

“Well most guys that knocks them right out so I guess you’re tougher than you look,” said Hawkins. 

“Why’d you punch him,” you asked, pulling out your knife.

“Because he takes too long and I don’t have time for the cop to agree to taking a car we’ll be sure to give back. We need to get off the highway, off the road, and lay low for a minute. I haven’t slept in two days and I need to know we’re safe while I find a place to crash,” he said. “Now put that knife away before you hurt yourself, Y/N.”

You stared at him for a few minutes before you slipped it back into your pocket. 

“Could-” started Dean, Hawkins turning on the radio and blasting the volume.

“No more talking.”

“I got to say, I preferred Jim’s cabin to this one,” said Dean, sitting down in a hard chair hours later, smiling when you grabbed some ice from the freezer for his face. “Thanks.”

“It’s a friend’s hunting cabin. Bare bones,” said Hawkins, walking around and pulling down some shades, locking the door and turning to where you and Dean sat at the small kitchen table. “I have a feeling you two are going to run off on me when I sleep.”

“Give us a reason to trust you and stay then,” said Dean. Hawkins reached behind himself and pulled out a handgun. He held it out grip first to Dean.

“He won’t think twice about killing her this time. Any of us. You make sure that doesn’t happen, understand?” he said.

“Yeah,” said Dean as he took it.

“Just get her back to her mother if it goes bad,” he said.

“Why?” asked Dean.

“I promised her a very long time ago I’d bring her home,” said Hawkins, heading into a backroom. “Give me a few hours, then I’ll answer whatever questions you have.”

You both waited for him to shut the door, Dean looking back at the gun in his hands.

“What do you think?” you asked. “Do you think his story makes sense?”

“He’s kind of a son of a bitch,” said Dean, looking over at the closed door. “But he feels...different. He’s scared but not like Jim was. If my daughter was kidnapped from me for 26 years, I probably wouldn’t be the most easy going guy either. We barely got his story so we’ll have to see on that front. What’s your gut telling you?”

“Hawkins is my father for sure. He looks too much like me. Jim is definitely the one that raised me from the time I was six though. You saw all the pictures at the cabin. I never knew the difference,” you said.

“Which one do you think tried to kill you?” Dean asked.

“Hawkins has shown he’s not afraid to be violent. And Jim left us both alive when he had us,” you said as you picked up Dean’s makeshift ice pack again. “If we’re looking at facts alone, I think Hawkins is more untrustworthy.”

“Funny. The facts are telling me Hawkins would rather throw himself off a cliff than ever harm you,” said Dean.

“What do you mean?” you asked, Dean leaning into your touch.

“Sure, he hates me. I don’t blame him. It sounds like someone grabbed you at the hospital you were born at. The cops probably let him down over and over again and there’s resentment there. But you, he’s gentler with you. He’s trying to be nicer to me, for you. Y/N, he’s an ex-super solider. You’ve seen him. I’m not a wimp and he could kick both our asses without batting an eye. But he’s trying, for you. If we can confirm a baby was taken from a hospital, belonging to your mom and Hawkins, I think...I think maybe we can be a little inclined to believe him,” said Dean.

“I thought I believed Jim. Now I don’t know who to believe besides you,” you said.

“We’ll figure it out. Why don’t you take a nap, sweetheart, while I keep an eye on him, okay?” said Dean.

You nodded, giving his forehead a kiss as you made your way over to the lumpy couch.

“Hey,” said Dean, shaking on your shoulder. “Hawkins is up.”

“My name is John by the way,” he grumbled, digging through your cooler that’d been brought in. “Were you two planning on surviving off of jerky and gummy bears?”

“We were going to stop for food,” said Dean.

“Benny’ll be pissed,” mumbled Hawkins, going to a door and returning with a frozen slab of meat. “I hope you two like cured venison.”

You made a face, Hawkins smirking at it as he turned back to the stove.

“It’s not that bad, honey. Oh and hey, cop,” he said, waving Dean over.

“It’s Dean,” he said, stepping over carefully.

“Well, Dean, you mind poking through the cupboards? I’m sure there’s some plates around here somewhere,” said Hawkins. 

Dean eventually found some silverware while Hawkins dumped some chunks of venison in a pot with some beans on the stove. He said it’d be done in about an hour, not that it looked all that appetizing. 

“So,” said Hawkins as he sat down at the table across from you and Dean. “I’ll take fact that I didn’t wake up arrested or dead as a good sign.”

“You tell us your version of the story, then Y/N and I will decide if we believe you or not. Got it?” said Dean.

“Where would you like me to start?” he asked, taking a deep breath.

“The beginning,” said Dean.

“Of what? This mess? My rollercoaster of a marriage? My career? The assholes that took her?” he said.

“You and my mom,” you said, his face turning softer. He bit his bottom lip but nodded.

“I met your mom when I was on a weekend pass from duty. I guess...I was never much for school. I grew up in a military family. My dad, his dad, so on. I joined straight out of high school. I was in the army, then army rangers, then went to sniping school and then the rest you technically need a clearance for but I joined a black ops team. I was very, very good at what I did. My parents were both gone by that time. Family was never much of a thing for us. Relationships were off the table. Until I was at a bar one night and met Lila. She was...she looks like some delicate flower but she’ll kick your ass without a bat of her eye. You remind me of her,” said Hawkins, glancing down at his lap.

“So you met a girl and fell in love?” asked Dean.

“Yes. I never told her details of things of I’ve done, not in the beginning. But I broke down one night, told her my dirty secrets, people I’d killed. Strangely, she just smiled and said it was okay. I wasn’t the monster I thought I’d turned into. She saved me. She taught me how to be my own person again. I left the military, took up a job doing house renos, became a general contractor and we got married. We decided to have a baby. We were happy. It went smooth, the little girl popped out like that. Lila was fine and you were fine. I love your mother but I knew I could never love her as much as I loved you. So we had you about a day and then, you went to the nursery and you never came back.

“I’ve seen some horrible things but that takes the cake. You just feel so helpless. The police assured us they’d find you, find who took you. We went home without you and a day went by, another day, a week. We had one picture of you. This was before phones were everywhere. We just had the one. We put up signs and it was on the news and we got our friends to help. I even got my old military friends to help hunt you down. We never found you. Eventually we were told that we should be happy because a newborn meant they might not kill you, might not do horrible things to you as you grew up. We should think on the positive side that maybe we’d get lucky and you’d have a normal life with whoever took you. We tried to get through it. Lila and I started to fight, a lot though. We took a break away from each other for a few months. I spent years searching for you, driving around this whole damn country. Sometimes I stayed away just so I wouldn’t have to see her. We lasted about four years until we thought about divorce. We were miserable.

“But we had a long night of talking and decided our daughter would probably be pretty ashamed of us if she saw how we were. So we started to go on dates again, fall back in love. You weren’t the subject of every conversation. We still looked but we started to stop drowning in it so much. We tried for a family again. You have younger brothers even. One’s 22, in his senior year at Ole Miss. Your other little brother is 19. He’s at Notre Dame. We never stopped looking sweetheart, not once. I promise. But we had to try and live again before it was too late. We spent 26 years looking for you and then you walked straight into my lap,” he said.

“Why were you at a bar on a Monday night?” you asked, Hawkins wearing a half-smile.

“Lila does a spin class girls night thing with her friends on Monday nights. Both your brothers are away at school right now...I’m not perfect, Y/N. Sometimes when I’m on my own, I just want to forget for a little while,” he said. “Lawrence isn’t that far a drive from Kansas City. It’s easier to get shitfaced out where no one knows you.”

“How’d you find out about Jim Jones?” asked Dean.

“Maybe about six months after Y/N was taken. The cops started looking at me as a suspect. There were police reports of me allegedly doing stuff to kids up in the Dakotas. I’ve never even been there. But the stuff looked real and the cops turned on me, on us. It took some digging and a few favors from some of those old friends but I found out about Jim Jones. I didn’t understand at first, never understood really, not until I saw you Monday night. It all started to click, who this father you were complaining about was. He took you. That was it, that had to have been why. But I did some digging and he never had a child, not until some six year old popped up in his life. Well, I did some more digging earlier this week and found a six year old had gone missing a few months prior in Lawrence. I found out who the mother was, found out she was dead, got the story, started putting it together. She was Jones’ old girl. Only she couldn’t have a kid so he’d ditched her. I figure she went nuts and stole one so she could win him back. Years go by and he finally responds to her again, he comes down, spews her some bullshit story about needing to take you away and lying about it, promises in a few months time she’ll come up with him and the kid. But he only wanted the kid so he gets rid of the woman and raises Y/N as his own.”

“If he wanted a kid so bad, why not just freaking adopt one?” you asked. “Or hook up with some chick?”

“He can’t have kids, can he,” said Dean with a smile.

“Nope,” said Hawkins as he returned it. “Figure out the rest of it?”

“There’s something in his past that would prevent him from adopting a child, isn’t there,” said Dean.

“It’s sealed under a juvie record but yeah. He practically killed a kid he bullied when he was a teenager. He’s kind of a psychopath. It’s how he’s so successful actually. But if someone were to do a background check, they’d see it and he’d be declined,” said Hawkins.

“Why didn’t we see it then?” said Dean.

“You didn’t search the juvenile database and sealed records I bet. You wouldn’t have a reason to,” said Hawkins. “But I hate the guy’s guts so I went all out. My working theory is he wanted a kid, probably wasn’t ever going to do anything about it, but this chick that was infatuated with him stole Y/N for him. Jimbo saw it as the kid he wanted and then cleaned up the mess.”

“Why would he want a kid though? As far as I remember, he never hurt me,” you said. “Up until sometime Monday night at least.”

“Kids are nice, they make you happier. If he’s as fucked up as I think he is, he probably wanted a child to help keep him relatively normal. You probably did do that for him...up until the part where you started to figure out he was being shady,” he said.

“What are you thinking, Y/N? We’ve heard a lot of stories the past two days,” said Dean.

“Let me see your wallet,” you said. Hawkins reached into his back pocket and set it on the table. You flipped it open, his license saying he lived in Kansas City and he was an organ donor. You skimmed through the cards, finding two pictures tucked into a pocket. One was recent, four people standing in it, Hawkins, an older woman who had the same hair color as you, and two young men. The other picture was worn away at the edges and was creased all over the place, a baby in a pink hat staring back.

“We’re your parents. We’re supposed to protect you and we let you down. I understand if you want nothing to do with us when this is all over. We’re strangers to you. But let us find a safe place for you until Jim is caught or dead. I prefer dead but I’ll take what I can,” he said.

“Dean says we can’t kill him,” you said.

“I said you can’t kill him, Y/N,” said Dean. “Last time we talked about this, we were talking about killing John here.”

“Well I guess what happens next is which father you believe,” said Hawkins.

“I know which father I believe,” you said, handing him back his wallet. “Dean.”

You both stood up, Hawkins staying seated as you went over to the side of the cabin.

“It’s another story,” said Dean. “It makes sense and I didn’t hear him slip up on any facts. But still, he could just be a good liar too.”

“If you had to pick,” you said, Dean looking over at Hawkins.

“I know who I pick,” he said. You nodded and went over to the table, Hawkins turning in his chair. 

“If I asked you not to kill Jim, what would you say?” you asked.

“I’d say you’re a better person than I am,” he said. “Most people are better than I am, Y/N.”

“I think you and Dean will get along quite a bit once this all settles down,” you said, giving him a smile.

“How’d you wind up with a Lawrence cop for a boyfriend anyways?” he asked.

“It was a quick relationship,” you said.

“Yesterday we weren’t even dating,” said Dean with a chuckle.

“I will try not to kill Jim but I will if I have to,” said Hawkins. “If the cop is okay with that.”

“I don’t condone murder,” said Dean, lifting his chin.

“You’ve killed someone before,” said Hawkins, looking him up and down, Dean swallowing. “Trust me. You sleep easier when the person’s gone.”

“I don’t think I ever said I don’t want him to not die. He did try to kill me after all,” you said.

“Well that settles that then. We kill him if we have to,” said Hawkins. He stared at you for a moment, looking you up and down.

“What?” you asked.

“You’re very beautiful,” he said, a sad smile on his face. “So aside from the cop boyfriend and the tendency to be kidnapped, do you...do you remember much else about yourself you’re willing to share?”

“I’m an architect apparently,” you said, Hawkins breaking out into a laugh.

“No shit! That’s what Kyle’s going to school for. He’s the youngest,” said Hawkins, chuckling and you saw how much gentler he looked with a smile on his face. “Your brothers are going to be so excited to meet you.”

“Let’s save the family reunion for when it’s over. We don’t need more liabilities,” said Dean. “Speaking of which, after what is probably going to be one of the worst dinners of all of our lives, we need to get somewhere with cell service. I need to catch up with Sam and hopefully that kid is smart enough to have already sent some protection down for your sons or he’s bringing them up to our station.”

“We’re on the same side?” asked Hawkins as he stood.

“We always were,” said Dean with a nod. “We got a long drive ahead of us and Jim will probably be in Lawrence waiting for us by the time we get there. You have to let us call some of the shots though, agreed?”

“Alright,” said Hawkins, going to the stove and turning it off. He grabbed the pot and opened the back door, tossing it outside before he returned. “We’ll run through a drive thru. We need to get her home.”

“Let’s get going then.”

_____

A/N: Read the Final Part here!

#supernatural #spn #dean x reader #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean #winchester #dean spn #au #cop!dean x reader #series

[isitmadness]

A Handsome Stranger

story summary: Driving 1,300 miles in a truck with a complete stranger. This will be fine. This was what desperation will get you. Desperation and something akin to love-at-first-sight.

chapter summary: Ben and Cody feel lots of things for each other. The sunset and karaoke helps.

relationships: Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi

words: 5.9k

a/n: I liked the idea of these two idiots on a road trip in an AU/modern setting, so I wrote one. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  Also, I decided to go back and post chapters 3 & 4, too, I don’t really know why...this is my favorite chapter though. 

Read it on ao3

Part 1: A Handsome Stranger at the Airport

Part 2: The Handsome Strangers Talk

Part 3: The Handsome Strangers Take a Detour

Part 4:  A Handsome Stranger Does Karaoke

After leaving Muir Woods, Cody and Ben decided to take the 101, drive until they were too tired, and see where they ended up. Ben didn’t realize how uninteresting parts of northern California could be, but at least the company and conversation were interesting and kept Ben’s attention easily. This time they ran the gamut of deeper subjects, but attempted to avoid the elephant in the room. Until they just couldn’t anymore.

“So…” Cody started carefully. “Quin, huh?”

Ben scrubbed a hand over his face. He anticipated that question and yet he still wasn’t ready. “That went nothing at all like I expected, quite honestly.”

“What did you expect after two years?” It was a little more direct than perhaps Cody intended, but well, the question was out there now. Ben sighed. “I didn’t, um...I--”

“No, no, it’s all right, Cody,” Ben interrupted. “Quin and I were friends for so long before, I just...figured...it’d be back to the way it was before. And that was perhaps very naive of me.” Ben was quiet for a moment before he spoke again. “I truly am sorry for dragging you along and just sort of leaving you there.”

Cody gave him a small smile, “Well I got to talk to Depa at least.” He didn’t tell Ben that he learned some new and interesting things about himself. That perhaps he wanted Ben to stick around a bit longer.

“I learned some new things about myself though.” Ben interrupted Cody’s train of thought and once again he found himself worried that Ben could actually read his mind. “And as I said before, I gained some closure. So, I think it was worth it in the end.”

What Ben couldn’t tell Cody was that he already felt something for Cody that he never did with Quinlan - a certain camaraderie and an odd sense that maybe in another life they worked side-by-side in mutual trust. Quinlan would be his friend again, and he still loved him as such, but he and Ben were just too different in important ways. And he very much wanted Cody to stay in his life even when they reached Seattle.

“How’s your booboo, by the way?” Cody decided instead to change the subject.

Ben chuckled and reached up, ghosting two fingers over the bandage, “Well, I think it’s healing despite not receiving a kiss to make it all better.” He squeezed his eyes shut, realizing immediately how awkward he made it. He really had a knack for that.

All Ben got in return was “hmmm.”

“Yeah, I should probably stop talking,” Ben finally said with a nervous laugh.

“You can’t though, I’m nowhere close to tired and we need to make up for some time lost. Remember when you said ‘Seattle isn’t exactly next door to San Diego’?” Ben groaned and threw his head back against the cab wall. That at least made Cody smile.

Ben narrowed his eyes, “How dare you throw my words back in my face. I don’t say things out loud for them to be used against me later when convenient.”

Cody laughed, “Well, I have some news for you, Ben...Seattle really isn’t next door to San Diego. You were right.”

----

Later, Ben found himself driving again as the 101 took them back oceanside around Eureka. He found it to be one of the more picturesque parts of their trip. With the sun slowly making its descent towards the horizon, it was all Ben could do to not pull over and just stop, sit on some beach, and watch.

“So, we’re not going to make it to Oregon tonight, are we?” Ben asked.

“No, I don’t think so. I think it's too far...someone had to waste so much time with an ex-boyfriend." Cody very pointedly did not look at Ben, but Ben could still appreciate the playfulness.

"I told you detouring in San Francisco was a mistake but you wouldn't listen!" Cody turned to look at Ben who merely winked.

Oh no. Ben was flirting again. Cody hated it because it made his inside twist in knots. But he also secretly loved it and hoped Ben would never stop. He finally narrowed his eyes and looked at his companion. “You want to stop again, don’t you?”

Ben acted incredulous for about two seconds under Cody’s withering stare. “I don’t… what-- what gives you that idea?”

Cody chuckled, “I just had a feeling.”

They went around a bend in the road and Ben was suddenly silhouetted against the sunset, the orange evening light making his hair redder than ever. Cody’s mouth was suddenly very dry.

Ben turned and smiled, “Well, I guess you should trust your gut since you were right.” He found Cody staring, but couldn’t quite comprehend the look on his face. “Is there something on my face?”

Cody shook his head a little too vehemently. “No, no, it’s nothing...I was just, uh, watching the sunset on the ocean.”

“Funny you should mention that…” Ben smiled again. “That’s the reason why I wanted to stop.” Cody hesitated. "Another chance to stretch our legs before the final push?"

Cody had to admit that Ben was good. He would have stopped anyway, but at least Ben gave him an actual compelling reason. “Oh, all right,” Cody relented. How could he say no?

----

They found a pull-off with quick access to the ocean at Clam Beach, and lucky for them, it was mostly abandoned. They took off their jackets, sweaters, shoes and socks, left them in the truck, then rolled up their pants legs and walked out on the beach. They walked around, stretched their legs, and searched for seashells. Ben finally walked out into the ocean, running back and forth whenever the tide came in, and Cody watched with affection. He had to keep telling himself that within a day or so, they would reach Bremerton, part, and he would probably never see Ben again.

So he decided to enjoy the moment while it lasted. He took his own touristy photos of the sunset and his companion.

Cody decided to finally sit and Ben joined him a few minutes later, looking flushed and truly the happiest Cody had seen him yet. He plopped down on the sand, smiling. “I know the day isn’t over yet, but this is probably one of the best days I’ve had in a really long time.”

Cody looked at him, “Me, too.”

“Even despite the San Francisco detour?” Ben nudged him with his elbow.

Cody finally smiled, “Yes, Ben, even with the detour.”

In the direct sunlight, Ben noticed that Cody’s lovely brown eyes almost seemed to glow amber. He pulled out his phone and opened the camera, “If you don’t mind, I’d like to commemorate it, but also this will give me proof to send to Anakin...you know, to let him know you haven’t killed me yet.” At this Cody laughed.

“Weren’t you supposed to be the killer in this scenario?”

“Yes, you’re right, but Anakin doesn’t know that.” Cody sucked in a quick breath as Ben leaned in closely. He was so close now he could feel the man’s body heat through his thermal shirt. Ben held his phone out in front of them, and they both managed to smile for a quick series of photos. “Also, apparently Padme wanted to know what you looked like, but I think it was really Anakin.” Ben grinned as he flicked through the photos quickly to make sure they came out okay.

Cody scoffed, “Right, right...blame it on the wife.” He had wondered briefly if Ben hadn’t just wanted the photo for himself, but then decided he was reading too much into it. And when he saw Ben typing out the message to Anakin, it was decided. He cleared his throat, "So, anyway, I'm not really sure what we're going to do about a hotel. I'm not familiar with the area we’re in or where we will be in an hour or two."

“Well, lucky for us my phone still has power, so let's see what I can find."

As they hunched over Ben’s phone, he found he couldn’t have asked for a more perfect ending to the day than sitting shoulder-to-shoulder in the sand with Cody, listening to the crashing of the waves as the sun dipped below the horizon.

They finally settled on another picturesque-looking town only an hour and a half away called Crescent City where they would stop for the night.

----

Cody and Ben stood in front of the truck and took in the property. It sat right on the ocean, and though the sun had vanished beyond the horizon, they could still see the view was incredible. The motel on the other hand....well, the view was still nice.

"At least the sign says 'vacancy,'" Cody pointed out.

"Except because I think Norman Bates runs this thing," Ben mused.

Cody huffed a laugh. "Here's your chance to improve your 'we're both murderers' story." Cody elbowed him in a playful gesture that caught Ben slightly off-guard. He liked it.

"Well there is that. You make a compelling argument."

Cody reached across Ben and pointed at the other building sitting on the property. "AND a bar within walking distance. What more could you want?"

Cody turned back towards Ben and caught him staring, a soft expression on his face that he didn't quite understand, or, rather, one he was afraid of accepting. He was once again close enough to feel the heat coming off of him. How had he gotten so close to Ben without realizing it?

"Nothing at all, it's perfect," Ben finally answered, never taking his eyes off Cody.

"Hmm, yes...well, you may want to retract that statement once we see inside both places," Cody nearly stuttered. His heart was hammering in his chest and he was sure Ben could hear it.

"So what if I get the rooms this time, and you get us a table?" Ben asked as he headed in the direction of the motel office. "Not that I expect there to be a wait...but there might not be much to do around here this time of the night, and well, this might be the life of the town."

Cody grinned, "I can do that."

----

Cody stepped into the bar and looked around. It was a DIVE. And there really was a wait because it was packed. For some reason, it seemed to be the happening place in this small seaside town. And Cody was also horrified to find it had karaoke. He hated karaoke.

He hovered near the entrance while a small dark-haired woman belted out two 80s rock songs, and he longed for ear plugs. Well, at least there would be alcohol.

And Ben.

The man appeared suddenly at his elbow as if summoned. "Hello there.” He glanced around the room. “There's actually a wait?"

"Yeah, can you believe this?"

"It seems to be quite popular! I mean, karaoke? How could anyone resist?" He laughed.

Cody groaned, “I could...quite easily. How about the rooms? Did you get those okay?"

Ben coughed into his hand, "Well, about that…"

Cody stared at him. "Please tell me they had rooms."

"Room,” Ben said, emphasizing the M at the end of the word. He held out a key to Cody who took it. An actual hotel room key. Neither of them had seen one in so long.

"Singular?" Ben nodded.

"It was literally the last room they had. I saw her switch on the 'no vacancy' before I left," Ben added.

What would one night hurt, right? They were adults. They could handle the same room for one night. But now that meant Cody would have to watch his alcohol intake. An ex once called him an 'amorous drunk' and he did not need that happening.

"Well, as long as it's safe and clean, right?" Cody added after some time. Ben nodded. "And how much was it?"

Ben chuckled, "I think you're going to love this…$60 for the night."

Cody looked surprised, he expected at least $80 for the view. "What? How…?"

"Well...she saw the truck outside with your naval stickers on the back. I told her we had just come from San Francisco and you were moving to Kitsap. The next thing I knew, we were newly-married, but we can't take a honeymoon yet because you're in the navy, so this little road trip is all we have." Cody was flustered but honestly impressed at how well Ben spun the story. And it…wasn't even completely false. "So she, uh, gave us a discount."

"I can't believe you used me for a cheap room," Cody said with almost a hint of a smile.

"It's just one night, darling," Ben continued, seemingly unaware he had just dropped the term of endearment. The way it just rolled off his tongue delighted Cody; however, he was already sweating and he hadn’t even begun to drink. "She just wanted to help out a newlywed couple, and well, I didn’t correct her." Now Cody couldn't decide if he wanted to smack the smug grin off Ben's face or kiss it.

"Just two?" The hostess interrupted.

"Yes," they answered in unison. She sat Ben and Cody in a booth in the middle of the side of the bar. Closer to the karaoke than Cody would have liked, but not right next to it, thankfully.

Ben hooked a thumb over his shoulder towards the small stage. "So, do you…?"

"Sing?" Cody finished the sentence for him. "Certainly not in front of a bunch of drunk people."

Ben laughed, "But that's the best place! No one cares how bad you are!"

"Ben, are you going to embarrass me tonight?"

He grinned again, "Do you know any of these people?" Cody shook his head slowly, not quite sure what that had to do with anything. "Ok, so who cares? You're never going to see them again in your life. And also, remember, they're drunk? They probably think they're at a real concert." Ben took off his cardigan, and Cody found himself distracted once again by his collarbone and freckled forearms. He looked down at the menu and tried to become very interested in it instead.

"What can I get you boys?" Their waitress appeared at the end of the table.

"Hello there!" Ben greeted her with enthusiasm. "I'll have whatever ale is darkest and two fingers of whisky."

She looked over at Cody, "I'll just start with a hard cider for now."

"You got it," she said and left.

"I wouldn't have picked hard cider for you," Ben said, leaning forward.

"Yeah, well, I'm trying to go easy I guess.

"Fair enough," Ben replied as he looked around the bar. It was loud and vibrant. He hadn't been out drinking in so long, and certainly not with such a handsome partner. He watched the karaoke stage as the next person came up to pick their song.

"I see you eyeing that stage…" Cody's voice pulled Ben's gaze away from the other side of the bar.

He smiled, "It could be fun! It's only a thought. I'd have to have a little more than one pint and one whisky though."

"Oh yeah, that's just what you need," Cody sighed.

"I can hold my liquor! I think you'd be surprised," Ben said in mock offense.

Cody shook his head, "Please don't think that was a challenge. I can't have you throwing up all night and into the next day. We need to make it to Kitsap tomorrow."

"It'll happen, Cody, don't you worry." Before he realized what he was doing, Ben reached over and squeezed Cody's hand.

The waitress used that most inopportune moment to return with their drinks and gave them a sly smile when they both pulled away quickly. "Ale and whisky for you… and cider for you. You want anything to eat?"

"Wings and fries for me," Cody answered.

"And how about a burger for me, medium," Ben followed up.

She winked at them both, "You bet."

----

Their very late dinner was passing pleasantly enough despite some of the singing. Which was...well, terrible, at times, and made it impossible to hear at others. Because Ben got tired of asking Cody to repeat himself, he got up and came to sit on Cody’s side. They sat shoulder-to-shoulder, nursing their drinks, talking and watching singer after singer try their hand at karaoke.

It may have been the effect of the alcohol, or all the bodies in the bar, but the place had gotten warmer and Cody eventually took off his jacket and outermost flannel layer, too. Ben knew he was staring, and he tried not to, but every time Cody reached for his glass, he couldn't help but notice the flex of muscle in his forearm. And he appreciated the view.

"I think I need to visit the loo really quickly," Ben said, getting up suddenly.

Cody was surprised that Ben jumped up so quickly, but he nodded all the same. "Well, I'll be here."

Ben reached down and gently touched Cody's nose, "Of course you will."

Cody absolutely didn't know what to do with that. He exhaled a breath he didn't even realize he was holding and slumped into the booth. He couldn't get drunk. He was having a hard time being near Ben, and the idiot had to come sit right next to him, too. He slid over on the bench. Maybe if there was no room when he came back, he'd take the hint and sit on his own side.

The thing was...he wanted Ben to sit beside him. He wanted to wrap an arm around his waist and pull him close. Nuzzle his hair and place a kiss to his temple, then cheek, then mouth. He wanted. And that terrified him.

Tomorrow they would be in Kitsap. They would maybe even exchange numbers but they would go their separate ways. Cody would get his promotion, adjust to life on a new base in a new town, and Ben would be reunited with his family and become an uncle. Maybe they would see each other every now and then, but Ben would live across the water in Seattle. They would be friends, linked by several crazy days on the road up the west coast.

Cody was picking at the fries on his plate when the opening refrain of 'Beyond the Sea' started playing. It was an interesting choice considering all the 80s and 90s music they had suffered through all night long. No one had dared touch the older classics. But he froze as soon as the person started singing, his heart pounding in his ears.

Ben was going to embarrass him.

Somewhere, beyond the sea Somewhere, waiting for me My lover stands on golden sands And watches the ships that go sailing

Cody watched in equal parts horror, amusement, and extreme fondness as Ben took the microphone off the stand and made his way around the floor. He knew every single word, and boy, could he sing. Cody was floored.

Ben made his way towards their table with a wide smile on his face.

Somewhere, beyond the sea He's there watching for me If I could fly like birds on high Then straight to his arms I'd go sailing

He winked at Cody and turned around, winding his way through the tables being quite the performer. He was charming the socks off everyone in the bar. Who was this man?

We'll meet beyond the shore We'll kiss just as before Happy we'll be beyond the sea And never again I'll go sailing

The waitress came by again smiling at Cody, "Another cider for you? Or you need something stronger?"

"Whisky, double...bring another for him, too. I'm sure he's going to want it when he's done." She smiled and nodded.

Ben finally finished his song to raucous applause. No one had gotten the reception he had all night. Cody was still slightly embarrassed, but he was also secretly proud that he'd return to his table. Which he did not two minutes later, just in time for the waitress to greet him with another round plus more, "Whisky is from your boyfriend here, but all the other is from the bartender who says thanks for the amusement and well done."

Ben laughed, breathless. "Ah! Thank you most kindly." He picked up the whisky from the table and lifted it to her.

"Really though, we don't generally get that kind of entertainment in here. It was delightful," she smiled and left Ben and Cody alone once more. In his extreme confusion and adoration, Cody had forgotten to slide over, so Ben plopped down beside him once more, bumping arms and shoulders.

"Well?" Ben was still breathing a bit heavier than usual, and he was flushed, which was quite cute. "Did I embarrass you?"

Cody swallowed thickly and picked up his own glass to down the contents. He needed to drink, but he also needed to clear his head, and the drink wasn't going to do that at all. He finally chuckled, "Yes, you really did."

Ben laughed. "Good."

The stupid idiot didn't even know how much he was making Cody fall for him. And Cody was a stupid idiot for falling. "But really though," Cody cleared his throat. "That was impressive, I had no idea you could sing."

"I have to keep some of the mystery, don't I?" Ben leaned into Cody and lowered his voice. "If you knew everything right out of the gate, you wouldn't want to spend any more time with me." Oh the bastard did know what he was doing. This was so much worse.

Cody arched an eyebrow, "Who says I want to spend any time with you? I needed help paying for the truck, remember?" He took a sip of his beer to hide his grin.

Ben huffed in annoyance. "Right, of course, silly me."

They nursed their drinks, ordered dessert and watched the next parade of singers. They decided to make it into a game: guess the genre before the song began then rate the performance. Cody was a lot harsher than Ben, but he seemed to be enjoying himself, and that made Ben glad.

"You know," Ben started. "On the beach earlier, I thought the day was already the best one I had had in awhile, but this, right now, is truly icing on the cake."

Cody looked at him and felt a very peculiar fondness. "I have to say, I agree."

At that, suddenly Ben leaned closer, emboldened by the alcohol and the warm, hazy atmosphere in the bar. He couldn't be positive, but he thought Cody was leaning in, too. He got close enough to feel the heat radiating off the man...just one inch closer--

"Wait." Ben froze and blinked. "You're drunk." It was a simple statement of fact. Cody pulled away.

Ben chuckled nervously, "Aye, maybe a little. I'd say...more...buzzed really."

"It doesn't matter," Cody shook his head and Ben stared, dumbstruck. "If we're not careful, we may--”

Ben swallowed and closed his eyes, “Please don’t say it…”

“...do something we'll regret." Cody shifted in the booth like he wanted to get up. Ben moved and stood up at the end of the table. Cody stood, too and dug his wallet out of his pocket and put several bills on the table. Ben watched as Cody put on his jacket and walked through the bar and out the front door.

Ben remained, dumbfounded. What the hell was that? He had thought Cody was interested in him. But perhaps he was mistaken. Well, obviously he was. He had misread signs before, so this certainly wouldn't have been the first time. He mentally kicked himself for letting it happen again. He slipped his cardigan back on and left his own money on the table, silently cursing under his breath. This was going to make the rest of the night extremely fun and not awkward at all.

When Ben stepped outside, there was no sign of Cody. He growled, "Couldn't even wait for me to walk back to the motel, eh?" He said to absolutely no one. A man who had just closed his car door in the parking lot gave him a strange look, and Ben fought the urge to stick his tongue out at him.

"There is peace, there is peace, there is peace," he repeated like a mantra with every step he took back towards the motel. The crunch of the gravel beneath his boots was a centering comfort.

Once he reached their door, he pulled the key out of his pocket—who still used actual keys?—and fumbled trying to get it into the lock. His hands were shaking, okay, maybe he was more than slightly buzzed, and he found himself getting increasingly frustrated that the key wouldn't turn. He was drunk, yes, but not that drunk. How could Cody have locked him out? Did he have the locks changed? Ben exhaled and laughed, "Ben, you idiot, how would he get the door locks changed?"

As Ben mumbled to himself and tried to enter the neighbor's room, Cody stood in the entrance of their own room, leaning against the door frame. He knew it was impolite to laugh, but he was a little amused, and he didn't really plan to make him suffer long. He straightened up and cleared his throat.

"You going to stand there all night and try to get in the neighbor's room, or what?"

Ben jolted and dropped his key at the sound of Cody’s voice. He looked between Cody and the door he'd been previously trying to enter. It was fairly dark outside, so Cody couldn't be sure, but Ben seemed to be blushing.

"Ah." He bent down and picked up the key and shuffled to their room, keeping his head down the whole way. He might have been annoyed that Cody left him in the bar, but he HAD tried to kiss him. He couldn't make eye contact. He stopped just shy of the door and rubbed a hand across the back of his neck.

Cody waved his hand into the room, a gesture that told Ben to enter. He stopped abruptly when he saw the inside. There was just one bed.

He looked to Cody. "I swear I didn't know, I assumed there would be double beds."

"You didn't think to ask?" Cody sounded mildly annoyed.

"Well, no…" Ben said sheepishly. "Although, I guess I should have known when she thought we were married, but then again, it was the last room. I can, uh...go back out there and stay after we get our bags. I can sleep in the truck." Ben turned to walk back out of the room but Cody grabbed his upper arm. Ben felt his skin burning.

Cody sighed, "You'll do no such thing. It’s late, and we have another long day tomorrow, so we probably should just get ready for bed. We’re adults - this will be fine."

Ben nodded, "Let me go get our things then."

Cody sighed and sat on the end of the bed to wait. He was extra grateful he had decided to not drink so much, but one bed was still going to be a challenge when all he wanted to do was kiss and touch Ben. And Ben very clearly wished to do the same. He felt a heat rising in his chest at the thought. It had been years since he had been with anyone.

Ben returned several minutes later with their bags, looking tired and less jovial than he had inside the bar. Cody was fairly certain he had quashed all of Ben's romantic notions. He stood and went to the door to close and lock up. "You take the bathroom first. I can wait."

"No, no, I insist you take it first," Ben sat on the end of the bed and kicked off his shoes. Despite taking them off in the truck earlier at the beach, he still dumped sand all over the carpet. He chuckled to himself thinking of how much Anakin would have hated it.

"Well, okay, fine," Cody rifled through his overnight bag, found what he needed and disappeared behind the bathroom door.

Ben fell backwards onto the bed. You have two more days at the most… just, don't make it awkward again. He doesn't care about you in that way. He's a kind stranger who gave you a ride, that's it. When you reach the peninsula, you'll part ways, shake hands, and that'll be that. Between the alcohol, the talking to himself, and the sound of the shower running, Ben lulled himself into a light slumber, fully dressed and waiting on his turn in the bathroom.

Cody got out of the shower and toweled off. He started to get dressed and realized he had left his briefs in his bag. He could either forgo the briefs or he could be an adult and walk out there and get them. He was an adult. Ben was an adult.

But Ben had tried to kiss him. He almost let him, too. Gods, he should have.

Cody wrapped a towel around his waist and opened the bathroom door slowly. It was eerily quiet in the room, too quiet. Did Ben go sleep in the truck after all? He stepped out of the bathroom to find Ben sleeping, snoring lightly. He breathed a sigh of relief that he wouldn't have to parade half-naked in front of the man he couldn't stop thinking about. He carefully made his way back to his overnight bag and dug through it until he found what he needed.

"Oh." Came a breathy noise from behind him. He winced, of-kriffing-course.

You're an adult, you're both adults, this is fine, Cody told himself as he turned around. Ben looked like a deer caught in headlights. But Cody almost lost it when Ben reached up and covered his eyes with his hands like a child.

"Forgot something," Cody said as he practically sprinted back to the bathroom, thankful that his towel had the decency to stay in place.

----

Ben took the coldest shower he could stand, trying his best to sober up, trying his best to not think of the expanse of brown skin across a muscular back. He finished dressing and exited the bathroom to find Cody already tucked in bed. He was under the covers but sitting up reading, only looking away from his book momentarily to look at Ben. "I didn't really ask what side of the bed you wanted…"

Ben shook his head as he put away his things, "It doesn't matter at all. I'll sleep wherever you want-- wherever you DON'T WANT…shit." Ben was awfully cute when he got flustered. Cody struggled to keep his face neutral. Ben walked over to his side of the bed and pulled back the covers. He hesitated when he made eye contact with Cody. "I truly don't mind sleeping in the truck. Ocean view!" He laughed nervously.

"Ben, if you mention the truck one more time…" Cody closed his eyes and sighed. He opened them again when he felt the bed dip next to him.

Ben pulled the covers up to his chin and looked over at Cody. Cody almost laughed at the adorable picture Ben made, with his head barely peeking outside the top of the covers.

"I, uh…" Ben hesitated. "It's been a while since I've slept with someone, I mean, in the same bed, you know sleeping, just sleeping...ugh...what I'm trying to say is, I hope I don't kick you in the night or anything. And, feel free to push or nudge me if I do."

Cody raised one eyebrow. Well, at least he looked amused this time, Ben thought. "Noted," Cody finally said. "Do you mind if I read a little longer?"

"Not at all." Ben turned over to face the wall. He could feel Cody’s eyes on his back...or perhaps that was his imagination. He needed to apologize. He couldn’t sleep on the guilt eating him up inside. He turned back over to face Cody who was still reading his book. “Don’t you think this room is rather ugly?”

Cody started, unsure exactly what he had just heard, “Beg pardon?”

Ben hiccuped once unexpectedly which made Cody smile. “The room, it’s ugly. I’m pretty sure this is all original wood paneling on the walls, and perhaps all original decor? Perhaps from when the hotel itself was built...I’d say late 50s?” He looked up at Cody and grinned, and it took every ounce of restraint Cody had to not lean over and kiss him right then. It was just the alcohol, he lied to himself.

Cody stuck a finger in his book to mark his place and closed it. “So you think we should have gotten more of a discount?”

“I’m saying,” Ben started, propping himself up on his elbow. Cody’s attention was caught by the movement of the v-neck on Ben’s shirt, which shifted exposing ginger hair and a freckled chest and clavicle. He quickly looked down at his book and fidgeted. “I’m saying...that yeah, $60 shouldn’t have been the discount price. That should have been like, the starting point - maybe!” Ben jabbed one finger in the air.

Cody laughed at what sort of strange drunk Ben made. He did seem to be holding his liquor well, with a few exceptions, but he was clearly drunk. Which was all the more reason to shut down any advances. He indulged Ben and looked around the room anyway, “You know, I think you might be right. It is rather hideous. At least it’s only one night.”

Ben hummed. He laid back down, staring at the hideous popcorn ceiling. “I just...I wanted to say I’m sorry, Cody.” He swallowed, pointedly not looking in Cody’s direction, which didn’t go unnoticed. He also seemed to be in a little distress, and Cody desperately wanted to reach out and offer him comfort. But he was afraid of where it’d lead. “I’m quite good at making things awkward it seems.”

Cody thought for a moment before saying anything. “It’s fine, Ben.” He finally turned his head so he could make eye contact with him. He put a gentle hand on his shoulder and patted it lightly. “We both had a little too much to drink, and things...happen. We move on.”

Ben slowly nodded. “Move on, yes.” That was good enough of a final confirmation for Ben. “Well then, I’m sure you want to get back to your book, so, goodnight, Cody. Pleasant dreams.”

“Same to you, Ben.”

Before he turned away, Ben took a quick glance at the cover of Cody’s book—it was the one he had recommended to him. He must have bought it at Quinlan’s shop, too. Ben flushed, turned to face the wall again, and willed his heart from hammering out of his chest.

Cody continued to try to read, but really ended up scanning the same paragraph 10 times. He glanced over at Ben, wanting to reach out and run his hands through his still-wet auburn hair. Oh please don't let me make too big of a fool of myself tonight, he thought before giving up and turning off the light.

One more note:

'A Life Less Ordinary' may or may not have been the inspiration for the karaoke scene. lol

#codywan #road trip #au #my writing #silly silly silly #fanfic #a handsome stranger

[five-wow]

here are some thoughts from my (first, somewhat late) watch of 10.15!

we start off with adam intimidating a minion and threatening his life while they’re reburying three bodies. cool. this is totally something he can come back from.

joanna! danny’s mystery woman has a name! i very vaguely caught some annoyance/confusion about her name here on tumblr because apparently somewhere else (outside of the episodes, i assume?) she’d been called something else, if i understood correctly? but seeing as i missed most of that, i’m honestly just glad she has a name now.

also! joanna texting her sister/friend (i don’t really know who she is for sure?) that she met a guy at a bar - thank god, tbh, because last episode it looked like she just randomly had sex with a stranger (which is fine) and then got into his car to let him drive her home (which is not fine, because we may know danny is an okay guy, but she had no earthly way of knowing that).

“it wasn’t your fault. you did everything you could. it means a lot to me that you’re here.” kudos to sister/friend for not falling into the trap of blaming danny and piling onto his guilt subplot!

STEVE is WAITING OUTSIDE when danny leaves the morgue, oh god. that makes total sense and i’m glad for it, but i somehow didn’t expect them to show that.

steve: “you wanna talk about it?” nothing super clever to say here, but it just make me really, really happy every single time steve asks danny if he wants to talk about something (or just pushes him into it, ocassionally) because!! that’s good!! that’s healthy!! that’s a really good friendship, and i’m proud of steve. (on a slightly related note, i’ve been watching a lot of 9-1-1 and reading some fic and while a lot of that fic is really fun, i kind of feel like many of the writers in that fandom give eddie at least double the capability to deal with emotional turmoil in himself or others that he is shown to have in canon. eddie diaz is basically what danny sometimes accuses steve of being, only eddie is actually closed off and struggling with repressing everything he ever feels that much, and steve has by this point had years to learn healthier ways of coping and he is not that person anymore, at all. he knows how to talk about emotions and he does it, too, and the funny thing is that i’m pretty sure he learned a lot of that by making danny talk to him about danny’s emotions, which steve did all the time right from the very start because he cares about danny and wants him to be mentally happy and healthy, and tl;dr, steve and danny’s friendship makes them both happier, more emotionally stable people and that makes me emotional.)

tani teaching a class at the police academy and bonnie (grover’s niece) absolutely acing all her classes and tani and bonnie hanging out and getting lunch together and tani subtly mentoring bonnie IS ALL VERY GOOD.

fdjfkdjkfd oh god. i was so happy with this scene and then suddenly bonnie has a boyfriend and it’s the dude who buried bodies with adam a moment ago. so... is he a bad guy (i hope not, because i’m already a little tired at the idea of another cool female character getting in trouble all the time because she’s dating yakuza and that’s for some reason the most interesting thing the writers could think to do with her), or is he undercover? is adam undercover? are they BOTH undercover but they don’t know it about the other guy so they just keep committing crimes to look like badass criminals when really they’re just both trying to catch the other in a seriously bad crime?

oh god, there’s this whole scene with the academy recruits on the shooting range and tani keeps drilling them on shooting faster (which i have... thoughts about, too, but let’s not get into that) and they make it really explicit that bonnie is the fastest and definitely faster than her boyfriend and this, uh, really looks like foreshadowing for bonnie ending up having to draw her weapon on the boyfriend at some point.

adam to lou: “thanks for the coffee date.” i must say, very unexpected ship they’re pushing now. :p

adam: [starts saying things, possibly making up excuses] lou: “no, no, come on, you don’t have to explain anything to me.” let the man talk, lou!!! if you don’t want to hear it, i do.

ahhhh, lou is keeping adam occupied while steve searches adam’s apartment. things are making more sense now. (though lou does call steve to tell him to wrap things up like a minute after his coffee date with adam started, and also at most a dozen feet away from adam where chances are definitely above zero of adam being able to hear him, fjdkdf.)

steve had “a feeling” about adam. no need to be so jealous, danny.

wait, wait, adam is back on five-0? i... they probably showed or mentioned that in a recent episode, i think, but apparently i’ve really just been turning my brain off during this subplot because i do not remember that at all. (this is why i like bingewatching things, because at least then i have a clearer picture of what happened in the episodes right before, gosh.)

danny: “... but the point is that if i was a human being...” love it. love the subtle implication that danny is not a human being, but in fact an alien from new jersey, which as we all know is in outer space.

bonnie’s boyfriend is not officially bonnie’s boyfriend yet and she thinks he might be seeing someone on the side, and this is sad because as viewers we all know that that someone IS ADAM (and three dead guys). just not like that, though. probably.

bonnie: [tells tani her potential bf has two phones] tani: “hm, okay. this one’s easy: run.” YES. PLEASE DO.

quinn!!! i was starting to wonder if this was one of those mysteriously quinn-less episodes.

oh nooo, bonnie sneaks around potential bf’s house and then STEPS ON A TWIG. c’mon, girl.

fdjkfd the guys catch her and now i remember that this episode description said she was going to get kidnapped and adam would help get her back. this will be... interesting.

quinn’s awkward face while lou is yelling in surprise about bonnie having a boyfriend is absolute gold.

lou yells at tani for not telling him anything about the boyfriend yesterday but honestly, she does not deserve that.

also: all those dramatic shots on adam’s face, oh dear. is the rest of the team seeing that expression he has? are they seeing all these close-ups?

adam threatens his yakuza rival in an effort to help get bonnie back. is this supposed to be redemption for adam? i’m confused.

lou says it’s not tani’s fault and he apologizes! this is an episode of people realizing they shouldn’t put the blame on innocent bystanders (instead of one that attempts to heighten the drama by milking misplaced anger for all that it’s worth) and i like it.

siobhan has been tied up in some shed in the woods and endo (the potential boyfriend) is feeling bad about it but is unwilling to untie her, god. (quick detour, though: i’ve been wondering this since the beginning of the episode, but how is siobhan even at the hpd academy now? i was under the impression during her first appearance this season that she was in her last year of high school, so when did she even graduate?)

i do feel for endo (which i like! it’s cool to see a Bad Guy be not pure evil but believably conflicted), but leaving your almost-girlfriend in a cabin in the woods for your godfather to “take care of it” with a sad look and “i’m really sorry” is not the best of moves, my dude.

tani and quinn: we have good news! hpd intercepted endo and steve and lou are about to question him! adam: [sweats]

endo lies his ass off in interrogation which makes him interesting but also costs him a lot of sympathy points from my end.

lou pretty much assaults endo while he’s cuffed to a chair in the interrogation room. i get why these emotions make for good tv, but uh, hm, maybe five-0 should at some point consider a policy of not letting people who are personally involved in cases near suspects, because this does kind of seem to keep happening.

jfdkfd, adam confronts endo in lock-up, endo taunts him and says adam can’t tell anyone in five-0 what he knows because he’d have to tell them how he knows endo, the team finds out that endo has yakuza ties and go to confront endo about it and he’s gone. omfg, adam, how are you managing to fuck your own life up this effectively in such a short amount of time, after you fought all those years to get away from everything you’re doing now?

siobhan gets herself free!!! and then runs right into guys with guns outside the cabin, of course, because this is tv timing, but still, WELL DONE.

fdjkfdkjfd, adam’s brilliant plan to solve the situation is to call up the rival yakuza boss and threaten to kill his godson out of revenge. this is. this is maybe not a great idea.

adam: “in case you haven’t been paying attention, kenji, i’m not afraid of much these days.” oh adam, buddy, don’t brag about misplacing the entirety of your common sense.

the team is watching adam load endo into the back of a car on tape and it’s honestly kind of hilarious. steve asks danny how he would explain this and that’s hilarious, too, because they’re seeing their (ex-?)friend load a stolen suspect into a car to run off with him, thereby betraying all of them and everything they stand for, and steve is taking this opportunity to turn to danny and go “see, i was right”. fjdkfd.

steve’s gut says adam will come through for them in delivering siobhan, and we all know steve’s gut is secretly psychic, so that’s a spoiler. :p

and it does happen!!! i’m glad to see bonnie back in a safe place.

oh god. adam randomly appears from between the foilage to look serious and share a meaningful nod with steve. is he... is he officially on the other side now? they’re not still going to let him be part of five-0, are they?

domestic steve and danny in the(ir) kitchen!!! steve is giving eddie danny’s breakfast!!! and then there’s something about endo having hacked into hpd’s database, because of course they need to attach some ongoing threat to this, but honestly, who cares about plot when there’s “don’t shame my dog. i’m cooking you eggs, alright?” and danny saying steve doesn’t have to cook him eggs but steve already doing it anyway while danny is once again randomly sitting on the kitchen counter and steve cuts danny off before danny can request his eggs a little burned because steve already knows how danny likes his eggs, obviously, because steve is a stalker when it comes to danny. yes!! this is stuff i like a lot.

danny is saying he could probably get out of steve’s space soon and steve has the excuse of very intently (and yet somehow also very badly, it looks like) scrambling those eggs, but he’s also definitely, 100% avoiding looking at danny in that moment, and then he starts saying how there’s no paint yet and that’s bad and danny should stay. just. just move in together officially, you guys. just do it. nobody would be surprised. you know it would make both of you very happy. this is not even a ship thing, but just, oh my god, these two humans so clearly want to be in each other’s space and they keep coming up with excuses and getting this close to admitting that maybe neither of them wants danny to leave and then yelling at each other about eggs and how it’s not bacon day. it can be bacon day, steve. it could even be pancake day. it could be pancake day every day for the rest of your natural lives if you just told danny you wanted that.

overall, this was a very fun episode! i’m honestly just really happy with this season in general - quinn being added to the team does maybe not look like much progress on the subject of female characters, because she’s just one person, but there have been SO MANY scenes of her and tani together by now and genuinely, their friendship is healing my soul and watering my crops. i’m still not sure what to make of the adam subplot, but if they’re doing what it kind of looks like they’re doing - permanently putting him on the other side of the fence, back with the yakuza - that could actually be somewhat interesting. i’m just really, really scared that even after all of this they’re going to try to give him some kind of redemption arc that just has no chance of making sense anymore after everything that’s happened.

#h50 #10.15 #* #i've been even more absent from tumblr than usual and if you've been waiting for a reply i'm really sorry #and will try to get around to it asap!

[amberlynnmurdock]

Library Series (Part 13)

Pairing: Matt Murdock 

Chapter Summary: On your way to a party, a familiar face stops you in your tracks. 

AO3 LINK

Library Series Masterlist 

“Matt?”

Shit. It’s you. Matt is both happy and absolutely fucking terrified that you ran into him. But there’s no time for Matt to run. He’s got to face this situation first hand.

“Hey, uh, ___. How are you?”

You laugh, and if it didn’t sound so pathetic, Matt would have let his heart flutter. But it’s a sarcastic laugh. You’re annoyed at him.

“Uhhh… how am I?” Your voice isn’t kind to him. It sounds like you’ve had a particularly bad night, and seeing Matt just made it ten times worse. “I’m particularly cold and annoyed to be meeting Marci at this party. But apparently I’ve run into a detour.”

A detour, Matt thinks. But wait, you said, party?

For a moment, Matt lets his senses take over. He hears you shiver slightly from the cool breeze that passes between the two of you. You’re wearing a short sleeve shirt and… a denim skirt.

“I’m–Listen, ___, I’m sor–“

“Stop,” you halt his words, and Matt is surprised that you’ve changed the tone of your voice. Soft, now. There’s a delicate defiance in your voice. “What are you doing out here so late? Are you hurt?”

Matt suddenly remembers his fists are out, bloody and cut up.

“And… don’t you wear glasses? And use a cane?”

“I–I know this looks unbelievable but–sometimes, when I’m stressed, I jog around campus. I know that sounds weird and I’m blind so how could I do that, but I know the paths pretty well to get around.” It was the best Matt could come up with the pressure he was under. And out of complete surprise.  

“Why are your hands bleeding?” You ask him. Worried. About him. By the sound of your heart beat picking up, Matt knows you’re anxious.

“I… I tripped over a curb and fell. I landed on my hands first. I was just getting back now. I don’t jog with my glasses or cane.”

You’re silent for a few long moments. Matt couldn’t guess the thoughts in your head. So he listens to your heart.

Your heart has slowed its rate. You’re calming yourself down, Matt confirms. He lets you and waits. He wouldn’t blame you if you just walked away right now. From all this. From him.

“I’m sorry that happened,” you say, barely above a whisper. Matt knows you aren’t lying when you speak your words. Guilt rises in his chest and wraps slowly around his throat, like a snake.

“You should be more careful,” you speak again. Matt listens. “It’s dangerous out there.”

Matt sighs, a bit defeatedly, “Yeah. I know.”

This was quite the scene to take in, you thought. Matt jogging? I guess it wasn’t totally out of the ordinary. You know Matt, but you don’t know him enough to assume he’s out jogging at 11:30pm on a Friday.

In all honesty, you were glad to have run into him, because now you had a solid excuse to not go to the party Marci invited you to. She’d be upset, but you’d deal with that later. Right now, you’re too worried about Matt getting back to his dorm safely.

“I can walk you back to your dorm,” you pipe up after a minute of silence.

“What about Marci and the party?” Matt asks. You almost smile at the way Matt says party, like it was a different language. It sort of was for you, too.

“It was a last minute decision anyway. I didn’t really want to go but, considering how my week went, Marci thought it’d be good for me to go out,” you explain.

“Did you think it would be, too? Good for you?” Matt asks again. And he asks in a way that sounds like he knows Marci made the decision for you, and he’s more interested in hearing your opinion than hers. Almost like he could care less what Marci thought.

“No, honestly. I did it more for her,” you admit. You weren’t going to sugar coat things anymore. And thinking about it, you weren’t going to sugar coat this situation with Matt anymore, either.

“Well, there’s still time to make a choice,” Matt says.

“I don’t need to hear that from you, Matt. No offense, but if you’re going to be giving me advice about my choices, at least have the decency to make an effort being in my life.”

You almost raised your eyebrows at how straight-forward you just were, but you don’t. It shouldn’t be surprising to say what you feel. You can’t worry about Matt’s feelings, or Marci’s feelings. You can only worry about your own damn feelings.

“I deserved that, I admit,” Matt replies sincerely. You almost wanted to shout at him for being so understanding. It was hard to stay mad. “I’m sorry, ___.”

“Don’t be sorry for not being interested,” you laugh, and you’re not sure if you’re laughing at him, or yourself.

Matt’s mouth is open, like he’s at a loss for words to say.

Then, he takes a step closer to you.

“I’m sorry for not communicating enough about how much I am interested in you.” The words that leave his lips leave you standing still.

“I’d keep you here for hours if you let me explain all the things that interest me about you. If I had nearly any of your talent at writing, I’d write a whole damn novel about the things I like about you,” Matt tells you, and he tells you in a way with such a conviction, it’s no wonder he’s studying to be a lawyer. A smile tugs at the corner of your mouth because fuck, that was kinda nice to hear.

“Listen, ___,” Matt whispers your name. Even in the dark glow of the night you can see his deep hazel eyes, “This isn’t an excuse. This is the truth. It’s a lot for me to get close to someone. It’s a bit daunting. I was an asshole for not talking to you all week. By the time I realized it’d been a little bit already, I felt like it was too late. I thought I messed up. I did mess up,” Matt explains to you with urgency in his voice.

“And I need to officially ask you if you would give me a second chance, because ___, I’ve been dying to get to know you since the day you sat at my table in the library.”

You quirk an eyebrow, and just to be funny, you say, “so it is your table.” His smile melts you.

“I’ll put your name on a plaque and have it be yours,” Matt says. And he sounds like he really would do that.

You take a deep breath and smile fully now. You’d let Matt’s M.I.A. week slide. You thought he proved to you enough with all he just said. And you already got off everything you needed to say.

It felt better to forgive.

“Okay,” you say with a soft smile. “Second chance: granted.”

Matt smiles in what looks like relief.

“But on one condition,” you continue, “Communicate with me if there’s something bothering you. Or something you think that will affect us–this. Just… no secrets. Even the bad ones,” you tell him soft urgency.

“I promise,” Matt says. He holds up a pinky and you laugh at the sight of it.

“Okay,” you reply, wrapping your pinky around his.

You smile at the gesture, then frown at how bloody his knuckles were.

“I’m sorry you fell, Matt. Do you want me to help clean your hands? Walk you home?”

“I’ll be fine,” Matt hushes you, “I want you to get home safe before I do.”

“A-are you sure? I don’t know, what if–“

“Trust me,” Matt says, “no more secrets, remember?”

You smile at him, but you feel silly as you remember he can’t see a smile.

“Sorry, I was smiling,” you say sheepishly.

Matt laughs softly, and you realize it’s your favorite sound in the world, “I figured.”

“Let me walk you home,” Matt urges softly.

You look around campus. It was really late and to be honest, you didn’t feel comfortable walking back alone.

So, after contemplating if it was too far for Matt to walk alone after he reached your dorm, and realizing it wasn’t, you accepted his offer.

Linking arms, you and Matt walk back to your dorm building in comfortable silence, hearts beating in tandem. And when Matt feels you shiver against him, he pulls you closer to his warmth.

~

Laying on your bed, you text Marci.

Y: Not going tonight anymore. Got a sick case of the LOVE bug.

M: Shut. UP. He texted?!

Y: More than that. I’ll tell you in the morning. Be safe.

~

Matt snuck back into his dorm room quietly. Foggy was found exactly where Matt left him a few hours ago–snoring, facing the wall.

When the door shuts behind him, Matt leans against it for a moment and sighs deeply.

That was close.

Matt wouldn’t be keeping any secrets from you about you. He had none, in that case. But he can’t tell you about what he did tonight. He simply can’t.

“Matt?” Foggy groans half asleep, “what are you doing up?”

“I needed a breath of fresh air,” Matt explains, “I fell. But I ran into a friend.”

“You…” and Foggy passes back out like a light.

Matt chuckles. “Night, Fog.”

The rest of the night, Matt dreams only about you. And he tries to let that feeling of guilt he had earlier drift off somewhere else.

#matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #daredevil #daredevil x reader #charlie cox #matt murdock fanfic #daredevil fanfic #matt murdock fan fiction #marvel #library series

[supertweetycherry]

THE DECK PRINCESS - [ii. The Talk]

🔹Pairings: EXO x BTS x OC

🔹Genre: Fluff, Cardau, Adventure, Powers, Reverseharem, Love, Mates

🔹Ratings: General

🔹Warnings: Light Swearing

🔹Word Count: 2.9k+

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“I’m up, mom. Stop screaming.”

I groaned as another round of screaming started from downstairs.

“Lee Yoonmi! Get up you lazy girl. We have guests coming over soon.”

I buried my head deeper into the pillow. After last night’s rowdy party and then the extra run back to the house has left me exhausted and cranky. Considering I returned just before 5 in the morning and my wake up call started at 9, I can proudly say I’m utterly screwed. I might just have to take a bunch of pills to get rid of the incoming headache that will soon plague me.

“I’m up, mom. Please stop screaming.” I growled, not bothering to open my eyes. “See, I’m getting ready.” I made some uncoordinated movements with my arms on the bed before dropping them like a sack of potatoes.

“Hurry up!” I smiled. That’s usually the warning I get before she leaves me alone for an hour.

“Okay.” I said into the pillow before changing sides to get into a more comfortable spot.

“I mean it Lee Yoonmi!”

“Ugghhhh... MOM!” I whined pulling myself up from my warm comfort. What is wrong with this women? I just want to sleep. I need to sleep. Three hours of sleep is not fun. Screw the guests. I don’t want to meet them. They can go and fu—

I stopped.

“No.” I exclaimed as I suddenly remembered who was coming today. “No, this can’t be happening.” I quickly picked up my phone and looked at the time. It’s 10am.

“Fuck” I’m so screwed.

You see, today I’m getting a special recruitment visit from a very prestigious academy in all of Seoul.

The Celestials Academy. I know the name is not that grand but still. It’s one of the world’s best academy that houses the best of best. All of its graduates are now big companies CEOs and major share holders, ruling the world by the tip of their fingers. Infact, my whole family has been to this academy. My parents. My grandparents. My great-grand parents. My great great-grand parents. It’s a tradition. So it’s obvious, that I, Lee Yoonmi, the only child of my father would attend this place.

THAUK!

I winced as my foot hit the dresser. I totally deserve this. I have been prancing around the room trying to get ready for the special visit, but ended up making more of a mess than the actual dressing. I looked at my toe in worry. It was red. And it was throbbing in pain.

“Fuck!” I cursed as I tried to hold down my scream. “Deep breadths, Yoonmi. Deep breadths.” Why does this always happen to me?

I was about to give my dresser a deathly glare is when a flash of black stopped me. There was something lying at the foot of it. Exactly where I had happened to hit my foot.

“Oh, what the hell? What are you doing here?” I grumbled picking up the familiar looking playing card. “Shouldn’t you be on the table?”

I looked at my study table where I had last placed this card. It was empty. The window behind it was wide open. The wind must have flown it all the way across the room. Just like it nearly took my eye out last night.

“Ya! Are you a trouble magnet or something?” I rambled as placed it on the dresser and continued to fix my jeans. “You should know, I blame you for this. Because of you I had to take a detour last night in heels to escape your little fans. Nearly broke my ankle from all the running. And now I’m super late for my interview that will possibly decide my future in the Lee family.”

Is it weird that I’m talking to a card? Something tells me it can hear me.

Looking at the mirror, I sighed sadly. My eyes were red and puffy from the lack of sleep. My lips were chapped due to dehydration and my skin colour had turned two shades darker than normal. I am well and truly fucked.

“Again, I blame you for this.” I repeated as I picked up the card again. As predicted, it was larger than a normal playing card. The sides were curved and there were specks of small white galaxy like blobs that covered the dark background. It seemed like the blobs were moving and twinkling just like what a normal galaxy would look like from under a telescope. The silver diamond in the middle of the black wispy background was shinning for some reason. The sun rays from the nearest window sparkling the diamond like the real thing. The surface felt smooth. There was also some writing underneath it. Two characters. They looked pretty similar to the old Hangul characters that was taught to us in history class last year. Hmmm. I might have to refer to my notes to see what it means. Meanwhile, I flipped the card around. The other side was blank white. But I could see faint outlines of vines forming around the border of the card. They had a light green tint to them.

“You’re such a weird card.” I hummed, narrowing my eyes slightly. Something is not normal about this card. It was warm. Like it was buzzing with energy. As if it’s waiting for something.

“Why were they after you? Heck, why did I even decided to pick you up? You do know Song Mina is going to kill me if she finds out I took her precious card. Actually on second thought, I don’t regret taking you. I don’t like her anyway. So I don’t really care if she’s still out there crying over her harem of boys to find you. Besides, I can see you are in a very bad shape. All these tears and rips. It makes me feel sad. I don’t know why.”

It was true. The state of this card is making my heart ache. Even though the diamond was shinning, the sides and the white blank side are carved with creases and slices of lines.

“Am I going crazy? I’m talking to a card.” I mused, shaking my head. “Yeah, I AM going crazy.”

Suddenly, the card grew warm. A tingly feeling went through my fingers. I looked weirdly at it.

I think I’m really going crazy.

                                                       ******

I looked weakly at the peas on my plate. I had just finished my breakfast and was starring at the extra big green peas that my lovely mother has decided to dump on me for some unknown reason. Don’t get me wrong, I love peas. But today, they seemed too sweet for my taste.

“Why aren’t you eating, sweety?”

I looked up at my father’s clean face. His face portrayed unknown worry. I couldn’t grasp what he was thinking but by the side glances that he kept giving to my fumbling mother, made me worried. They both were acting weird since the moment I have come downstairs to join them.

“They’re too sweet.” I said, dropping my chopsticks loudly on the table. Unknowingly, my hand went to the side pocket of my jeans where I had placed that weird playing card. It was still warm. I could feel it vibrate a little but I ignored it and just continued to run circles over it with my fingers. I just needed the satisfaction that it was still there.

“I thought you said they were coming.” I suddenly said, looking at my watch. They should have been here by now.

“Actually, they are not coming till two in the afternoon.” My mother said slowly.

“What?” I questioned, looking at the time again. “That’s still two hours away!”

“We know, sweety. We just wanted to have a little talk with you.” My father spoke, putting his own chopsticks to the side. That wasn’t a good sign.

“You guys are making me nervous. Did I do something wrong? Look if it’s about last night then I’m sorry that I sneaked out. I know I wasn—“

“Wait, You sneaked out last night?” My mother exclaimed.

“Uhh...” I looked at their confused expressions in worry. I wasn't supposed to say that. Oopsie. “I-I uh... I m-meant I snitched out.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Uh.. It means I snitched out all the food from my secret stash.”

“You have a secret stash of food?” I bit my lip in annoyance.

“Yes, mom. I have a secret stash of food.”

“Why?”

“Because I get hungry.”

“But there’s food in the kitchen.”

“I know.”

“Then?”

“Then what?”

“Then Why?”

“Ugghhh...” I groaned, pretending to hit my head on the dinning table. This is getting nowhere.

“Honey, you can drill her with your questions later. We have more pressing issues to discuss right now.” My father cooed my mother to a stop. I whispered a thank you to him. He was pretty lenient on me. I bet he already knows I sneaked out last night.

“But..”

“Ji-soo...” My mother sighed heavily.

“Fine.” She said before snapping her head at me. “But this isn’t over young lady. I know you sneaked out last night. I’m not deaf.”

I nodded nervously. It’s better to just roll with it.

There was an awkward silence for few seconds before my father bursted.

“Yoonmi, there is something that your mother and I have hidden from you.” He started lightly, taking in my change of expressions carefully. My eyes had narrowed at him. “The reason we are telling you this is because you are about join the academy that will either make or break your future.”

I sat up straight at his word. Make or break my future? What is he on about?

Now, even my mother was starring at me with an intense look. There was absolute something serious about this situation.

“What do you mean?”

“Yoonmi, you are a Card Wielder.” My mother announced. I gave her a funny look.

“I’m a What?”

“A card wielder. It’s a term used to refer a person who posses the abilities to summon Warriors from cards. Now, I know this sounds crazy, but please let us explain what warriors and cards are before you start asking us million and one questions.”

I gave them a weird look. Yes, I did have a bunch of questions running through my mind but I will let them explain first. Who knows they might be playing a prank on me?

“Many centuries ago, a secret society was established to protect the world from unknown forces. It consisted of card Wielders and warriors. The warriors were a magical race that once inhabited this earth before they were all trapped within the playing cards. They are beings who look like us, who act like us, who feels like us. The only difference is that they each posses magical powers that can be used to save the world. Their cards, is like a small prison that keeps them in-place. The masters, which is us, have the power to summon and use them in whatever way we want to. Over the centuries, our society has flourished. We were able to build various governments, schools, hospitals and companies around the globe with the help of the warriors. And you my sweetheart, you are also a part of this growing society. The celestial Academy that you will be going to is full of Card Wielders. It was built to train young Wielders on how to use their warriors properly and achieve things that you could never dream about before.”

I was dumbstruck. I’m a card wielder? There were human like beings in playing cards? With magical powers? A secret society? How am I supposed to digest this? This is a bloody clusterfuck they dumped on me!

“I know this is a lot to take on, sweety.” My father voiced out. “But don’t worry, Professor Lizing will explain more about the cards and warriors when she comes around.”

I stared at them. Is it my turn to speak? I don’t even know what to say.

“You guys are pranking me, right?” I started. “Please tell me this is a prank.” I said in desperation.

“No, Yoonmi. It is not a prank.”

I suddenly gripped the table as I sucked a deep breadth. Are they being serious?

“I don’t believe this.” I denied, shaking my head vigorously. “There’s no way something like a Card wielder or warriors exist! It’s all fiction!”

Both of my parents exchanged looks. I banged my hand on the table loudly to gain their attention.

“Do you guys have any proofs?” I demanded, pinning them with a glare. They again exchanged looks. “Stop looking at each other and give me the damn proof!”

Suddnely, a deep humming buzz echoed just before everything on the table started levitating. I stumbled back in fear as the peas on my plate were now twirling in mid-air right infront of my own eyes.

“That’s the power of levitation. I gained it when I acquired a special ‘air’ deck when I was 21.” My mother announced like it was nothing. I looked at her with wide eyes.

“And this is what I like to call ‘water splash’.” My father spoke just as a glass of water beside me erupted, splashing all its water into my face. I coughed and wheezed at the sudden attack. “A pair of twin warriors. The most naughty duo you could ever find.”

“Static.” My mother continued, clicking her fingers. I suddnely felt a shiver before my brown bangs on my forehead rose up in the air. I could see sparks flowing through them.“A nice little trick for a little payback.” As if on cue, one of the hair touched my raised eyebrow and I felt a small shock run through me. It threw me off my high stool in an instant.

“Sonic Boom. I clap my hand like this and BOOM.” And just like that a loud boom was heard, and both the ladies of the house covered their ears to protect them. When it stopped, a ringing was left in my ears and the whole dinning table was trashed to bits. I could see my squashed peas under a broken leg table.

“Oops, sorry.” My father laughed nervously, wincing at my mother’s glare.

“You know what, maybe your whipped ass would look better with that sorry.” My mother exploded just before she raised her hand. I ran to her in an instant and held her boney fingers from producing anymore of this magic.

“Stop. Please stop. I get it. It’s all true.” I exclaimed in desperation. “I believe you.”

They both looked at me and flushed.

“Sorry.”

I ignored their apology and pondered on this new development. If this is true, does that mean I’m like them? I’m a wielder? why haven’t they told me this before? That I’m not a normal person.

“Wielders have magic?” I questioned unconsciously.

“Oh no, honey.” My mother waved at the question. “Wielders are normal. We just gain a small amount of power when we gain a full deck. It depends on the deck’s basic element or how powerful it is.”

“Decks?”

“Ask professor Lizing. I think she will be able to explain you this a bit better.”

I nodded.

“Hold up...” I said standing up. My face was still dripping with the splashed water. “You said card Wielders summon warriors from their cards, right? But I have never done that before. I have kissed hundreds of playing cards when I was little. As far as I know there was no warrior wheezing out of them.”

“It only works on special cards, Yoonmi.” My mother explained. “Cards that are larger than a normal playing card. They each have a individual design and colour to it. They are magical cards. You will feel them buzzing with energy. They will seem very... alive.”

My body froze. Cards that are bigger than normal? Buzzing with energy? They don’t mean.... no way. Are they referring to that weird card I found yesterday? There’s a freakin person living inside it?!

As if on instinct, I slapped my hand onto my right pocket. It was growing warm again. I could feel it buzzing.

“Every wielder gets their first card by the age of 8. And from there on, they build their collection up to form decks. There’s no limit on the cards and there are hundreds of decks out there for Wielders to choose from.”

“But I haven’t even gotten my first card yet. Does that mean I’m a late bloomer?” I questioned worriedly. “Is that bad?”

They both looked at each other before facing me again. Did I just see them cringe?

“Well, technically it’s both bad and good.”

“Explain.” I ordered, pining them with my best glare I could muster up.

“It’s bad because you will be looked down upon by the other Wielders if you don’t get a card soon and it’s good because it means you are destined to have more special cards.”

“Destiny? Special cards?”

“You will learn about this at the academy. We can’t tell you anything else.”

I nodded. I get what they mean. My brain is still trying to filter out the information they dumped on me earlier.

“So, I’m going to be bullied unless I get a card soon. Great.” I huffed. Bullied at school and now bullying at the academy. I’m screwed from all sides.

“I’m gonna take a break. Please let me know when they are here.” I announced before leaving the room with a loud bang. Yeah, cue in my theatrics.

#ultkpop #kmultiverse #bts #exo #ot7 #ot12 #reverseharem #cardau #powers #magic #warriors #exo x oc #exo x reader #exo mama #exo au

[minister-for-femslash]

Pool of Destiny

Summary; Fen and Julia take a trip to the Pool of Destiny.

Word Count; 3,536

Author’s Note; My submission for @thewelterschallenge, theme 2 destiny

“It will just be for a couple of days,” Fen says, as she follow Margo down the corridor towards the throne room. “Five at the most.”

One of the guards holds a letter delicately in the palm of his hand. He offers it to Margo who snatches it as she passes without a word or acknowledgement. Fen offers the guard a sympathetic smile but it's not one he returns, he remains stoically committed to his job.

“It's just, with Eliot and Quentin sailing around the outer islands and with you now back as High King I feel like this is something that I need to do and I've been reading the Fillory books, the ones that Quentin gave me and there this pool. They call it the Pool of Destiny and I thought I could go there and see if there was anything there for me.”

Margo suddenly stops and Fen almost collides into her.

“Have you seen this?” Margo asks, waving the letter in Fen's face.

“Erm, no.”

“Apparently they want to build a shine.”

“To who? Ember?”

“No. To Julia. It's those farmers, the ones that live near the forest she regrew. They want to build an altar and a temple. They want my permission to worship her.”

“Well, she is a goddess.”

“Ex-goddess.” Margo marches into the throne room and Fen quickly follows. “Speaking of.” There's a sharpness in Margo's tone as she glares at Julia, who is currently perched on the edge of Margo's throne.

Julia's foot is up on a stool. Her trousers are ripped and there's a little hint of blood. Julia is looking at a cut on her thigh. It's thin and small, and Fen assumes that it's shallow, nothing to be worried but.

“That's my throne.”

“Hi Margo,” Julia says. “Hey, Fen.”

“Hey.”

“Here.” Margo practically flicks the letter at Julia, who catches it. “You'll want to read this.”

Julia does, and Fen waits, standing on the sidelines.

“Wow, that's... Wow.” Julia smiles as she reads through the letter again. “I don't know what to say, this is...”

“Not funny. That's what it is.”

“Margo, please,” Fen finally says, as she walks towards her. “If I could just let me borrow the Muntjac for a few days.”

“The Muntjac? What?”

“I want to go to the Pool of Destiny.”

“Oh. Why didn't you just say so? Of course you can take the Muntjac.” Margo is about to turn away, only to stop and turn back. “In fact, why don't you take Julia with you.”

“What?” Julia says.

“Yeah, you can take a little detour. Go and see your followers, show them how human their new deity is.” Margo strides out of the room.

Julia looks over and offers Fen a small, sympathetic smile. “So, boat trip?”

-----

Julia stretches her right leg out in front of her. Her ankle hangs over the side of the mud pool, her heel just millimetres above it. She massages her thigh, her fingers digging into the muscle roughly, harshly, but still being careful to avoid the cut.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Julia asks.

Fen doesn't answer.

“We could always just, head back,” Julia says.

“I've come this far, to go back now-” Fen shakes her head. “I just can't.”

“Okay.”

They fall back into silence and Fen watches as Julia continues to massage her thigh, a fresh drop of blood appearing on her jeans. They've been travelling for almost three days and they've had this conversation many times and even though Fen knows Julia is just trying to help, she isn't sure that she can explain it again.

“Are you alright?” Fen asks.

Julia nods her head. “Yeah, I'm fine.” She stops massaging her thigh and her hands flop to the ground. “It's not all it's cracked up to be. Destiny. It's just a fancy word for not having control of your life and that is a special kind of hell, believe me, I know. Sometimes it feels like ever since I was kept out of Brakebills, other people have been controlling my life; Jane, Persephone, even Penny.” Julia sighs. “Don't underestimate the power of freedom, Fen.”

“I won't.”

Julia looks at her and smiles sadly. There's a sheen of sweat on her forehead and her hands are shaking just slightly. “Okay,” Julia says. She doesn't look convinced and Fen doesn't blame her, she didn't really sound convincing. “Shutting up now. I think I'm going to turn in. Are you coming?”

“No. I think I'm going to stay here for awhile.”

“Sure.” Julia stands up and she sways slightly.

Fen reaches for her hand to steady her. “Are you alright?” Fen quickly stands up and wraps her arms around Julia's waist.

“Yeah, I just... I felt a bit dizzy, for a moment.” Julia's arms rest against Fen's shoulders and Fen is acutely aware of the fact that she is the only thing holding Julia up.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I just need to lie down for a little bit.” Julia pulls back slightly, her hands sliding away from Fen's shoulders. She seems steadier now, she doesn't sway or shake. She wipes the sweat from her forehead and gives a quick nod of her head. “I'm fine. I'm okay.”

Fen isn't sure who Julia's trying to convince, Fen or herself.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” Julia takes another step away and she seems fine. A little pale, but mostly fine and Fen bites her tongue as Julia walks towards the tent they've set up.

Julia stops and slowly turns back to Fen. “You're going in there, aren't you?” Julia says. “Because this is something that you have to do alone.”

“Yeah.”

“I get that.” Julia walks back over to her. She gently takes Fen's hands and then leans in and kisses her cheek. “Please, be careful, okay?”

“Okay.”

Julia heads into the tent and Fen can see her shadow as she slowly climbs into her sleeping bag. Fen watches, just to make sure that she's okay, up until the moment that Julia turns the light off and then she waits, five minutes, and then ten. In the end twenty minutes seems like a reasonable amount of time.

She slowly takes off her jacket, folds it neatly and places it on the edge of the mud pool. She takes off her shoes, as well, and then her socks. She sits on the edge and lowers her legs in gently, the mud immediately encases them, latches on, almost like a leech and she can feel it pulling her down. She sees the bracelet on her wrist – the one that Eliot gave to her a few days after their impromptu wedding - and takes it off. She places it delicately on top of her jacket and then slides down into the mud pool.

It sucks her in, quicker than she's expects it to and before she really has time to think she's up to her neck in mud. She manages to take a deep breath, grabs at her nose and closes her eyes before her face disappears beneath the surface.

It wraps around her, squeezing at her and she struggles to breath as she sinks down. She tries to move, to wriggle, but the mud has her stuck, like her body is trapped in a vice. She can't go back up, she can't open her eyes and she can't take a breath, all she can do is continue to sink further and further down and hope that this isn't another one of Fillory's funny little quirks or another invention of Christopher Plover and that she isn't about to die at the bottom of a mud pool.

She doesn't have to wait long to find out. Just as her chest begins to tighten and burn her feet become free. They dangle in the air as her legs also slide out of the mud, followed by the rest of her body. She drops, just a few feet but it takes her by surprise and she tumbles forward, lands hard on her hands and knees.

“Ow.”

She brushes the dirt from her hands and slowly climbs to her feet. She's in a narrow corridor, with rough, stone walls. She looks up and the mud pool is hovering in the air, like a temporary ceiling. A light flickers across the wall and Fen sees a torch with a flame. She grabs it. It's wedged into the metal holster tight and she has to yanks it, hard before it comes loose.

The end of the corridor is dark, almost pitch black. She holds the torch out and a little bit a light shines down.

“Okay then.” Fen takes a deep breath, like a shot of much needed oxygen and courage, and she begins to walk down the corridor.

It takes a sharp turn the right and Fen stops. She presses herself against the wall. She reaches for the knife that's tucked into her belt, her fingers wrapping tight around the handle. She slowly creeps forward, the stone wall feels rough against her cheek as she peers around the corner. It's pitch black. She moves the torch forward and sees something, a flicker of colour. But it's flat, two dimensional, nothing more than a painting on a wall.

Fen slowly steps out. She moves the torch back and forth and the light flickers down the corridor, there's no sign of anybody else. She takes a few more steps and the sounds echo around her. She holds the torch up to the wall and looks at the painting. She recognises Ember and Umber, their horns almost comically large as they stand atop of what Fen assumes is meant to be a newly birthed Fillory. The painting is crude but detailed.

Fen shakes her head.

She continues down the corridor. There are more paintings on the wall, some of them involve Ember and Umber, some have the Chatwins; Martin and Jane mostly, but the majority of them Fen doesn't recognise even though they're clearly important moments in Fillory's history.

And then she gets to Quentin.

At first she doesn't recognise him, it's the very obvious drawing of the throne room in Castle Whitespire that catches her attention. But after a moment she recognises the clothes, she recognises the way his hair flops down in front of his face as he drives the sword into Ember's chest.

“Okay, that's... Okay.” She stares at it for a few seconds and then she steps away.

There are two other paintings that she recognises; one is Margo being crowned High King and the other is Julia recreating the keys in Castle Blackspire. She stops at both of them, admires them and wonders if there will ever be a painting of her.

She continues down the corridor, turns another corner, this time with a little less caution and she sees a door, thick wood with a large metal handle that has rusted over. She walks over and reaches for it. She can feel this pulsating heat emanating from it and she hesitates, her hand hovering just inches away.

“Are you sure you want to go in there?”

Fen stops dead. She recognises the voice instantly, the confidence, the air of authority, but it's not possible. It's just not possible. Fen turns slowly and it's not possible, and yet she stands there in all her regality, all her elegance, all her power. The Fairy Queen. “Fen,” she says. She holds out her arms, presumably waiting for Fen to embrace her, just like she did the last time, but Fen stays perfectly still.

“You're dead,” Fen says.

“Yes.”

“You died.”

“Yes.”

“But you're here.”

“Yes.”

“But you died.”

“Yes.”

“Are you real?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“There are things in this world that we may not understand.”

“Does that mean you don't know?”

The corner of the Fairy Queen's lip curls upwards, the smallest of smiles, that is there and then it's gone. “Fen, my dearest Fen.”

Finally they embrace. The Fairy Queen's hands resting delicately on Fen's shoulders.

“Why are here?” Fen asks.

“I'm here to see you.”

“To stop me.”

“No.”

“To let you see. Come.”

Fen looks over her shoulder. The door handle seems brighter now, almost like it's shining and she can feel the pull of it.

“Fen,” the Fairy Queen says.

Fen turns back and sees the Fairy Queen holding her hand out for her. She takes a breath, and has a final look at the door before she takes the Fairy Queen's hand.

They walk back down the corridor, past the paintings and back to the mud pool. For a moment Fen thinks that the Fairy Queen is going to tell her to go back, but instead she continues on, stone walls and a dust covered floor appearing in front of her, like it's being conjured simply by her presence. Fen wouldn't be surprised if that was the case.

This corridor isn't as long as the other and they quickly come to the end. Fen stops and her breath catches in her throat, her grip on the Fairy Queen's hand tightens just a little. There's another painting, and she's in it.

It's her and Julia standing in front of the Fairy Queen and next to it, slightly smaller but no less important, the Fairy Queen breaking the deal and freeing the enslaved fairies.

“Tell me why you are here,” the Fairy Queen says.

“To find out what my destiny is.”

“No. Tell me why you are here.”

Fen looks over at the Fairy Queen and the Fairy Queen looks back with an intensity, and a knowingness in her eyes. Fen sighs, because she knows that there's no point in lying.

“I want -” Fen sighs again - “I want something to be about me, for a change. I want to be important.”

“You are.”

“No.”

“There is currently an ex-goddess lying in a tent unable to sleep because she is worrying about you and there is currently a High King of Fillory sitting on her throne, unable to listen to her advisors because she is wondering where you are. You are important to them.”

“That's not... You can't just define me by the people I know.”

“Alright. How about the people you saved?” The Fairy Queen reaches out and touches the painting of herself breaking the deal. “How many of my people are safe and alive because of you? Was that destiny?”

“Is that why you're here, to tell me that I already fulfilled my destiny? That my role in all of this was to lose my baby and then save the fairies?”

“No. I'm asking, was that destiny or was it a choice?”

Fen hesitates. She isn't certain of the answer.

“Do you believe that Mr Coldwater was fulfilling his destiny when he freed Fillory from Ember's tyranny? Or was he defying it? Do you think Miss Wicker was destined to restore magic to the world? Or do you think she sacrificed her destiny, her divinity so that the rest of us could prosper?”

“You want me to say the second one.”

“I don't want you to say anything, I just want you to see. It wasn't my destiny to die for my people, I chose to and choice, it will always be more important, more defining than destiny.”

“I came all this way, if I don't open the door now...”

“Of course. You have a choice to make.”

“It doesn't seem like much of a choice,” Fen says, as she begins to walk down the corridor. “If my choices matter then opening the door won't.”

“True, but your friend will be dead.”

Fen stops. “What?”

“Miss Wicker. She has a cut on her thigh.”

“Yeah, it's just a cut,” Fen says, but her voice wavers.

“It's a prick from a Psyhoon. As you know, they're poisonous.”

Fen's blood runs cold. “It's already been at least twenty four hours.” Her voice is quickly getting louder and higher-pitched.

“Yes. She's strong but it's only a matter of time.”

“There's no way that I can get her back to Castle Whitespire in time, it's too far, even with the Muntjac. She's going to die.”

“No, you still have time.” The Fairy Queen reaches under her cloak and takes out a small vial of bright, blue liquid. The antidote. “No destiny, just choice. You can go through the door or you can go back to the surface and you can save your friend.”

Fen doesn't hesitate and later, when she finally has a chance to breath she won't regret the choice.

She grabs the blue vial from the Fairy Queen's hand and runs, no sprints down the corridor. She reaches the mud pool and jumps. Her fingers brush against the mud but all it does is ripple under her touch. She can't grasp onto it, can't pull herself up.

“Here. Allow me help you,” the Fairy Queen says.

And with a blink of her eye Fen is floating. Her arms flail for a moment and then she settles. It feels like she's being lifted up by gentle hands. Fen manages to turn in the air, and she looks directly at the Fairy Queen.

“Come with me.” Fen holds out her hand as the top of her head touches the mud pool.

“I can't. I'm already dead. Goodbye Fen.”

Fen takes a deep breath as she is sucked back into the mud pool. It's faster going up than it was going down, probably because of the Fairy Queen's magic and she comes out the other side in a matter of seconds. Her legs come out of the mud last and as she reaches for the bank, she realises that she's still floating.

“Wait. No, wait. Stop.” Fen reaches out, her arms outstretched but the bank is too far away. She kicks with her legs, almost like she's trying to swim and she moves, just a little but she moves. She kicks again and again, harder, with more ferocity. She manages to grab onto a branch of a nearby tree. She holds tight and it feels so thin, so brittle that she's worried it'll crumble under her grip, but she does manage to pull herself closer. She twists her body, and grabs a slightly stronger branch to stop herself from floating. She slams her feet against the truck and propels herself downwards.

She hits the ground, hard. Whatever magic was making her float is gone in an instant. There's a pain in her hip, in her thigh and all wants is a moment to lie in the dirt but she doesn't have time. She takes a deep and a little painful breath, and then climbs to her feet. She rushes towards the tent. Fen easily pushes aside the fabric, Julia hasn't even bothered to do the zip up.

She looks down at Julia, the vial gripped tightly in her hand. She looks small, fragile. There's a heavy sheen of sweat on her face, stains on her chest and under her armpits. She's trembling, her whole body shaking. Her eyes are closed. Her breaths shallow, almost like wheezing.

“Julia,” Fen says. “Julia.” She touches Julia's shoulder and gives it a gently shake.

Julia's eyes remain closed, but still she whimpers softly. Fen looks down at the wound on Julia's thigh. It's small, almost a pin prick but the skin around it is black. It's spreading out across the rest of her thigh, like a spider's web.

“It's okay. I have...” Fen's hand shakes as she lifts up the vial and removes the top. Some of it spills out and down the side. She wipes her finger across the glass, collecting up the stray drop and then rubs it into Julia's wound. She takes the vial and pours the rest onto the cut, being careful, making sure that she gets the majority of it directly onto the wound and hopes that it will be enough.

It takes a few hours. Fen can see the first few rays of sunlight shine through the thin lining of the tent as Julia finally begins to stir. She cradles Julia's head in her lap. Her temperature has fallen and the blackness on her skin is fading. Julia coughs and splutters, and her eyes slowly open.

“Hey,” Fen says.

“H...” Julia croaks.

“Here.” Fen reaches for the bag in the corner of the tent and pulls out a water bottle. She manages to take off the top and continues to cradle Julia's head as she brings the bottle to her lips.

Julia takes a sip, then another and another, until she's gulping the water down.

“Better?” Fen asks.

“Yeah, a little, yeah.” Julia looks around, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What...? What happened?”

“The cut on your leg, it was caused by a Psyhoon. It's poisonous. I gave you the antidote.”

Julia tries to lift herself up, but she's clearly still weak and she lowers herself back down into Fen's lap. “Did you find it? Your... Your destiny?”

“Not really.” Fen gently brushes the hair and the remaining sweat away from Julia's forehead. She's breathing better now, slower, more rhythmically.

“I'm sorry.”

“Thanks. But maybe that's okay, maybe it's... Maybe it's better this way.”

#the welters library #welters challenge 2019 week 2 #the 2019 welters challenge #The Magicians #Fen #Julia Wicker #The Magicians Spoilers #Fic

[hookprevails98]

Negan (16)

"Haha!" Rosita yells, slamming her hand of cards down on the edge of the bed. We're all playing cards. And by all I mean her, me, and Abraham. Daryl's just watching. Abraham came by this morning for breakfast, which Negan ditched us to get for himself. We'd had a nice conversation this morning about nightmares. Honestly it WAS a good conversation. Very enjoyable. And he seems to make everything better when he's in the room. Abraham brought breakfast, with Rosita following not far behind. Maybe a few minutes. She got bored. Daryl and I talked for awhile, too. That was around lunch. And then he left so Abraham took a shift watching me. And honestly it was pretty cool. He's funny. You wouldn't think someone as big and scary as him would be....funny. But he has a way of talking that just.....it's hard not to laugh. And after he made the comment about my giggle being adorable, he's made it his mission. Every time he makes one of the weird comments, he'll look at me and if I giggle, he's usually crack a smile. A genuine smile. I panicked the first time I laughed, but he said it was fine. People usually make fun, it was nice to have someone not be afraid of him for once. He's......easy to relax around now. And that's the fastest I've EVER relaxed around anyone. "Shit balls." Abraham complains. I hold back, pressing my five cards to my mouth to hide the smile. Usually it's just balls, or some form of nuts. Sacks, too. He's very dick centric. Rosita laughs as she collects the cards. The game we're playing is....simple. Relatively. Just hard to describe. Rosita calls it speed Rummy. Each player gets seven cards. Then, if the dealer is nice, you sort them. You place the remaining deck face down on the table top, or in this case, the bed. Turn one card from the remaining deck over. The goal is to get rid of your cards, all of them. Drawing as many as you need in order to do so. How you go about this, is you match the number or the suit of the card that has been previously set down. If you have all spades, and the card that the dealer turns over is a space, basically you set your hand down and win. IF you're fast enough. There are no turns. You just fight to win. And go as fast as you can. It gets insane. Frightening, too, since Abraham is big and rough. He hurts when he slams his hand down on top of yours because you got there first. "Your turn, Evelyne." Rosita hands me the cards to shuffle. This part is something I love. I'm so shy, yet apparently it's weird that I can shuffle really well. Like really well. And that's apparently weird. To be shy and good at shuffling cards. "I'm gonna kick your asses. I told you I'd kick your asses." She gloats. I love her. When she's not being scary, I love her. It's nice to know that she......she's free. Even under the reign of Negan, she's free. I quickly deal the cards, seven to each of us, and waist no time flipping the first card. I don't give anyone any time to sort. Gives me a chance to really try. I think I won once. We've been playing for what feels like hours. I'm awful at the game, but I get really close sometimes. "Eat it." Abraham slams his hole hand down in maybe one second. I let out a huff, examining his cards just to be sure. Yup. He won. The jerk. Ugh. I sigh and shove the cards towards him. I just have to be faster. Just need to react faster. Abraham shuffles a couple times before dealing out our cards. I pick mine up one at a time and organize them quickly. He tends to wait until everyone at least has their cards in their hands before he flips the first card over. I have three diamonds and two hearts. Two spades. Spades connect to diamonds through sixes. The first card down is a five. I slam the hearts down as fast as I can while they both draw their own. Rosita pulls a good three before Abraham can get his hand on one. I simply wait for them to stop pulling from the deck. Don't want to get in the way, the're quite violent. And very competitive. Though It's hard not to be in this game. I finally manage to reach in and grab a card, queen, that connects all of mine together. HELLS yeah. "Ha!" Abraham yells when he slams his hand down just underneath Rosita. I examine his cards carefully. "LIES!" I call out before slamming mine down on his. He has a diamond where heart should be. He didn't win. Therefore I finally got one in. Fuckin about time. About the time I realize that I've won, I realize how they're laughing. Because no one laughs when I yell. Not that it happens particularly often, or anything. But normally when it happens people stare at me. Or people yell back. Loudly, Or they punish me for it. But they're laughing. They're laughing like it doesn't even matter. "Damn skippy." Abraham mutters. But he smiles at me with soft blue eyes. He doesn't seem to have an inch of violence in him. NOt at this moment, at least. It's nice to not see violence in someone for once. Especially for someone like him. Rosita's dealing the cards when the door opens. "Negan." I greet with a smile. "Cheat!" Rosita yells. I look away quickly back at the pile. Six of hearts. I grab the three hearts in my hand and slam them down just before Abraham does the same. It hurts when he hits m hand, enough that I flinch back. "Sorry." Rosita slams the rest of her cards down with a cry of victory. "What the fuck is this?" Negan asks. He sits on the right side of the bed. Just next to me. By now both Abraham and Rosita are back to being hostile and how they are when they aren't with me. And it's admittedly quite frightening to see. The hostility in them. "Doll?" HE inquires at me. I look down at the cards in my hand before answering. "C-card-cards........ssssssspee-speed-speed r-rummy?" I ask Rosita. She just looks between us and nods. She's got a strong front. She's always looking....like no one can hurt her. Is she even afraid of anything? "bitch nuts. I gotta get to the wall. You comin Rosita?" Abraham asks while he forces himself from his chair. They don't like being in the same room as Negan. I don't blame them, not a lot of people do, honestly. It takes time and friendship, for the most part. "Yeah." She and Abraham get up to go. Abraham, when he looks at me before leaving, seems betrayed or hurt. Something I did? I thought we were getting along. "Wish they'd leave. She mutters below her breath. Oh. okay. I didn't realize. I thought maybe they didn't' hate me. But this was just something to help pass the time. Okay. Yeah. I should have known that. "A-are wwwwwe l-leaving now?" I ask Negan. This just makes everything worse. I don't want to be ere anymore. I just don't. I don't want to be here. Negan lets out a heavy sigh. "Yes. Everything fucking packed?" He asks. Not like I had a lot of time to UNPACK. But my cards are still on the bed, so not really. All I have to do is get those. "Yes." I answer while quickly packing the cards. It sort of hurts to pack them, since I'm nearly folded in half, but I have to get them, right? They prove to be quite useful when I'm out on runs and bored. "You fucking forgot something." He raises his eyebrows at me when I give him a confused look. What did I forget? Oh. I feel my mouth twitch. "Yes sir." This is going to be his new thing, isn't it? I have to refer to him as sir of something? Or just answer him that way. I'm not sure. "Wwwwhat-what d-did RRRRRick hhhhhhave t-to say?" I ask him quietly. I'd say Rick the Prick, but I'm not sure I COULD say it. "Usual fucking bullshit. Says you were very fucking quiet. Didn't give anyone any fucking trouble. You should have." He nudges my arm just as I'm getting the cards into their box. "I have to make a fucking run to the fucking Hilltop tomorrow. Get more crops. Maybe steal a fuckin farmer." Now he's in business mode. Though it's nice of him when he helps me get out of the bed. I don't NEED the help, but I also don't really mind it, either. He grabs my hips and basically takes on most of my weight. He even hands me my bag, which I tuck the cards in to. "Why-why-why..." I sigh. "Why nnnnot-not today?" It's not that far from us. Maybe a half hour detour. Negan gives me a 'seriously?' look, before nodding towards the door. Oh yeah, we're leaving. Hell, I'm so happy to be leaving right now. Going home. Being at my place in my room. It's better like that. "I want you back at the fuckin sanctuary, that's fuckin why." He answers. He holds the door for me, too. Wow, he's being so nice. It's cool. I just smile at him before dropping my gaze to the grass. "Wh-who'll b-be your g-guard?" I ask. It's sort of a joke, since he really doesn't need one. That became very obvious to me about a week into my job. I've saved him a couple times, sure, but he honestly probably didn't really need me. Just likes having me there or whatever. "You know I don't fuckin need a fuckin guard- " We're interrupted when he's interrupted by yipping. Lots and lots of yipping. It's weird, and almost scary. But when we turn to look, there's like...six puppies running straight for us. They're tiny and brown with big floppy ears. All of them. They're coming at us. They're so tiny. My first thought is fear, since the only dogs I've ever seen were mean. But they flock around me and Negan's feet, just jumping all over our legs. They're so cute and tiny. I almost get knocked over. But I sit instead, letting them jump all over me. Yes it hurts, but they're too cute for me to care. "Puppies!" I giggle and start to pet them. They're all on me now, since....Negan isn't petting them. Fuck my side hurts. It hurts a lot. And one of them nips at my right cheek. THAT is a little scary, but not bad. They're so SOFT and TINY and CUTE. I have never seen a puppy. I've never even pet a dog before. They're so cute. I love them. "Get back here now! I'm sorry, sir. I'm sorry. They just got away from me." Some woman I don't recognize is running toward us with a very stern look on her face. She's older ish. Maybe twenty years older than Negan? I giggle again when one of the puppies licks my face. Four of them have gone back to her, but two are still with me. One's just sitting in my lap while the other is licking my face. I love them both. Seymore. The one licking my face. I'll call him Seymore. And Fredrick. Maybe. Until I can get something better. The other four are Lolly, giggles, button, and George. Because I don't know. They fit. They're so cute. I want them all. All of them. Right now. I just want to take them all home with me. The one licking my face eventually ditches, so I start to pet the one in my lap. Fred. I'll get something better for you, I promise. Like.....Luna. Or.....brownie. I like brownie. "Oh I love you already. I mumble to it. It stands when I pet it and tentatively snifs my stomach and chest. It's got super blue eyes. The fur on it is thin, and weird. But very soft. I love it. I don't want to let it go. "You want her?" The lady asks. WHAT? I look at her and grin. But then I sink a little and look at Negan. He won't stop looking at the puppy. Something of contempt on his face. But when he looks at ME, he softens a bit. "YOu want it, Doll?" He asks. Really? He's asking? I look back down at her. She's so cute. She's sooooocute. I don't want to let her go ever again. "C-c-can-can I-I?" I ask him. He just looks at the lady. "You already owe us half your shit. We'll take the dog and see you fuckers next week. Doll." He offers me his hand, which I gratefully take, before pulling me up. I keep Brownie in my other hand. She's not SUPER tiny, like fit in my hand tiny, but she's fine with hanging over my arm. "Come on. We gotta get the fuck back. That fucker pisses in my truck you owe me a new fuckin truck." I just laugh and bring Brownie's face to my own. Looking into her very very light blue eyes, she actually looks back at me curiously. She's got a white spot on her forehead. And the tip of her left ear is also white. One of her back legs, her right, is also white like a sock. She's only wearing one sock. And there's a ring about three quarters of the way down her tail, going all the way around it, that's also white. The rest of her is pure dark brown. Her body is extremely warm. I could bury my face in her stomach she's so warm. Honestly it's great that she's....so tiny. She's perfect. I can't stop petting her head and back. But mostly her head. "Hey, you fuckin hear me?" Negan asks. I look up from Brownie a little guiltily. He was talking. He's been talking for a solid twenty minutes. But I've been too caught up in her. "Sorry." i mumble. Brownie lays down in my lap with a small huff. Very docile. "You don't let that fucker shit inside. Potty train the fuck out of it. Get a fuckin leash, walk it every fuckin day. Don't forget to fuckin feed it. If it bites you or me I'll shoot it my fuckin self." I clutch her to my chest at that. He'd kill her? He'd really kill her? She wouldn't do that. She'll be good, I can feel it. Negan, looking for an answer, looks at me with widened eyes. Not angry, just wide. It hurts a little that he'd do that. I don't know why I feel like crying over that. I cry more than I should. And that honestly makes me want to cry. How stupid is that? I know she's an animal, but how could someone just kill a baby animal like that? She's sweet. She won't be bad. She won't. I'll make sure of it. She's calm, she's nice, she's warm. "Shhhhhhhe'll-she'llllllll b-be good. Rrright B?" I ask her. He smirks at me and rolls his eyes. "Thank you, Neg-negan." I would hug him, but he's driving. "R-really. Thank you." It means a lot you'd do this. "I-I'll....m-make sure shhhhhe d-do-doesn't b-bite. C-can I bring-bring hhhhher to th-the d-dining hall?" I ask. This time he keeps his eyes on the road in front of us. "As long as it fuckin minds it's own fuckin business I don't care. Don't let it cause fucking trouble." I nod when he looks to me for confirmation. "D'you miss me a lot?" He asks after a couple minutes of quiet. I keep petting Brownie's head. She isn't asleep, but she's being calm. I hope she stays that way. "Y-yes. D-did-did you?" Stupid question. He has friends. And wives. I doubt he really needs me. She has sad eyes. "You fucking know it, Doll. Does your side hurt too fucking much?" He asks. My side? No. I shake my head to answer that one, continuously petting Brownie's head. "Good. You need to take a fucking shower when we get back. You fuckin stink." I do? Oh yeah. It's been over a week, hasn't it. My face heats up and I press myself into the door so I can get away from him, and more into the wind of the open window. Didn't know I stank. I wish I could do better. Be better for him. He's right. I stink. And I have a puppy. Who's adorable. "D-do you thhhhink shhhhhe-she cou-could taaaaake one too?" I ask, holding her up just a little. He doesn't spare the time to look at her. Does he dislike dogs? I haven't heard him say anything about it. "Please?" I follow up quieter. She should be clean. After the shower, I'll take her for food. But she really really needs a leash, too. And a walk, just in case she needs to go. So leash, walk, food, shower? Fuck that's so much. Okay okay. So I'll....trow my bag in my room then get to work. "Go the fuck ahead." He mutters. Woop woop. I smile and hug her. "I-I'd hhhhug you if I could." I admit.

#Negan #The walking dead #Negan Imagine #Negan fanfiction #Writing #http://jcause.tumblr.com/

[idekwidcfo]

chapter two! already! wow!

Here’s a question though, why did tumblr take my last sentence, throw it at the top, and bold it like that was going to be my title? weirdos. 

I guess “already” is a funny word to use for something I haven’t updated in over a month (two months? maybe? probably?) but it feels quick to me. I’m only on chapter 4 of the original version, so between the fact I’m catching up on my ‘better’ version and the fact the chapters are suddenly so, so short... it’s ‘already’ to me. Anyway, here’s the chapter. 

But he didn’t! It turned out “at all costs” wasn’t enough and having Billie threaten to embarass him didn’t actually help at all. He still planned to ask Mar out but every time he tried to approach her, he lost his nerve. Instead of walking toward her, he would walk past her or even change direction entirely. This lasted the entire week. He considered leaving a note in her locker or something, but that felt so middle school that he was embarrassed to have even thought about it. 

The week flew past, and before he knew it he was driving home from school Friday afternoon, beating himself up for not asking Mar out. However, he accepted that it was too late and he had failed. Over the course of the weekend, he found he cared less and less. What difference would it really make? He was already too embarrassed to talk to her, would it really be that hard to continue to not talk to her until graduation? At this point, Vaughn just hoped that they would continue to barely talk and he could get a headstart on the lifelong regret of never having asked her out. 

When Monday came, he was mentally prepared to avoid Mar. It was pretty easy given that band was their only class together. During that period, he made sure to refrain from gawking at her like he normally did, working on math homework when he wasn’t playing instead. When class was over, he asked for and received permission to stay over lunch to continue practicing. He figured, since he and Mar weren’t really in the same friend group beyond a bit of overlap, he’d be fine to sit with his friends again soon, but for today he wanted to avoid the cafeteria. It was unprotected territory and Mar could just come up to him and demand an explanation-- or anything, really, his anxious mind imagined plenty of bad scenarios. 

As the day ended, and he made the last trip to his locker to deposit the books he did not need and grab the ones he did, he congratulated himself on an uneventful day. Sure, maybe he was a pathetic scaredy-cat who couldn’t even ask a girl out, but at least he didn’t have to have an awkward confrontation because of it. That feeling of pathetic success stayed with him until the secuond he closed his locker to find Mar standing on the other side of it, like something out of a 90s teen movie. 

“Whoa, how did you do that?” his mouth said before his brain even realized it. 

Mar smirked at him and he swear that he almost floated it filled him with such silly fluffy crushy feelings. “I’m talented,” she said. “I didn’t practice with my friends or anything, just pulled it off, spur of the moment.” 

He grinned at her joke but the grin dropped as what was actually happening sunk in. 

“Oh, please don’t run away terrified,” she said. “I’d like to talk to you and I don’t think it’s anything bad.” 

“Okay,” Vaughn said, keeping his feet firmly planted as if they would start running on their own if he wasn’t careful. 

“Would you like to walk me to the bus stop?” she asked. “We can talk along the way.” 

“Okay,” he said again. He drove to and from school and the student parking lot was on the other side of the building, but taking a detour to the bus stop wasn’t a huge deal. Besides, what was he going to do, say no? 

They started walking, Vaughn’s brain wandering in excited nervousness. The moment he had been dreading and avoiding was here and he felt so, so awkward but also Mar didn’t seem upset with him nor like she wanted to make fun of him, so maybe it was okay. Vaughn thought about saying something to break the ice, but decided to wait for Mar to begin the conversation. After all, she had initiated it and he had no idea what she wanted. Well, he had some idea-- the general topic at least, if not the specifics. But this could be anything; her asking him out or it could be her telling him he’s a creep and to leave her alone. 

Luckily, Mar did start the conversation. “So Billie talked to me today. She said you like me but wouldn’t ask me to prom because you couldn’t work up the nerve?” 

Vaughn snorted a little. “That’s a polite way to put it.” 

Mar smiled at him warmly and his chest gave another flutter. This was going so much better than Vaughn’s anxious imagination had anticipated when he mentally played the scenario out over and over and over again in the build-up before today. “Well, I can’t say I blame you. I’m not really shy myself but I tend to be friends with shy people and I’m sure none of them would have worked up the nerve to ask out someone they like.” 

“Cool,” Vaughn said, still not entirely sure where this conversation was going. He noticed they were approaching the bus stop already. It hadn’t been a very long walk, which meant it wasn’t going to be a very long conversation. He had mixed feelings about that. 

“Anyway, so the moral of the story is that I planned for this conversation and I have something to give you.” She handed Vaughn a small piece of paper ripped from a notebook. “It’s my AIM screenname. If you can’t work up the nerve to ask me out over AIM then I won’t go out with you, but you know, you can do it over AIM instead of in person. I figure that’s a little easier.” 

“Oh,” Vaughn said. “Cool. I think I can do that. So, are we still talking about prom or...?” 

“No,” Mar said, firmly. “I don’t know what Billie was thinking, I’m not going to dick out on my friends for a first date with some guy, even if I do think he’s cute.” 

Vaughn found himself smiling at the hint that Mar thought he was cute. “Oh, okay. I’m not super into the idea of prom anyway.” 

“Cool,” Mar said with a little shrug. “Anyway, the bus is coming now, so I’ll talk to you over AIM when I get home, I hope.” 

Vaughn very pointedly did not skip and dance all the way back to the student parking lot, but it was an exercise in self-control.

#original fiction #teen drama #i guess? #it'll be less teen-oriented as the character grows but for now #it sure is teens having drama #sort of drama idk #anyway