#okay instagram is coming for me so viciously for some reason

[fluffy-lee]

Summer's All in Bloom

Part 4 of the series "Vacation."

This is a TICKLE fic. If you're not into that, you don't have to read.

PLATONIC Avengers x reader

Warnings: Angst, teenage party with alcohol, PDA, and sexy dancing.

Summary: This summer, Y/n has started to feel the urge for more independence, but navigating the trials of growing up can be confusing. That doesn't stop her from having fun, especially with a certain web-slinger.

“Y/n… Y/n, wake up!” whispered your dad, Bucky, as he shook you awake. 

Your eyes opened and you looked up into his blue ones.

  “What is it?” You asked. 

  “You’ll see. Just get up and get ready. Meet me on the back porch in ten.” He said and left the room.

You sighed and rolled out of bed. Normally, you’d turn over and go back to sleep this early, but you were too curious as to what he was up to. 

  You got ready for the day, and went downstairs and out to the back porch where Bucky was waiting, drinking his coffee. 

  “Look who finally made it!” Bucky teased. 

You rolled your eyes and smiled. 

  “Come on, you’re gonna love this.” He said, taking your hand. 

You walked down the trail together toward the lake, and he led you over to a little canoe. You smiled excitedly and looked up at him. 

  “Haha come on, get in!” Bucky laughed.

You got in, and Bucky pushed it into the water and got in himself. You rowed all the way out to the middle of the lake. It was the first time you both had gotten to do something like this, just the two of you. You both really loved making up for lost time.

  “Here I got it, you can just relax.” Bucky said, suggesting you let him do the rowing. 

  “Is it because I keep leading us in the wrong direction by accident?” You asked with a grin. 

  “Whaaat? Nooo. You’re doing great, sweetie!” He replied sarcastically. You both laughed.

The two of you spent quite a while out on the lake and you loved it. It was so quiet and peaceful. The wildlife was celebrating the morning. You saw all different kinds of birds, and even a few really cool hawks. You also saw a few deer along the shore run into the woods. Your favorite animals you saw, however, was a group of otters playing together. They were so close, you could hear them. You had such a great time, it was so worth getting up early for. 

  “We have to do this more while we are here.” You told your dad.

  “Okay, I’d love that.” He said with a sweet smile. 

Bucky rowed back to shore after being out on the water for nearly an hour, which didn’t feel long enough, and the two of you made your way up the trail back to the cabin. Steve smiled to himself as he watched the two of you together from the kitchen window.

  When you got back inside, a few more people had woken and were enjoying coffee. Tony, Pepper, Natasha, and Steve were spread out around the kitchen. You began telling them all what you had seen and how much fun you had. You all had been at the cabin for a few days now, spending every day you’d been there at the lake and swimming, so when Tony told you today would be different, you were really excited. 

  Peter came into the kitchen looking all tired, but he still had a smile on his face. He sat next to you, and laid his head down on the table. 

  “Good mornin’ guys.” He said groggily. 

  “Y/n, Pete, what do you want for breakfast?” Tony asked. 

  “I’m just gonna make cereal.” You said. 

  “Me too.” Peter mumbled. 

  “I’ll make you a bowl, sleepy head.” You said, ruffling Peter’s hair. 

  “Thaaank you!” Peter replied, waking up a bit more.

You went to the cabinet for the cereal, only to find it up pretty high, so you stood on your tip toes and began to reach as high as you could, when suddenly, you felt a very tickly poke to your side. You squeaked and shot your arms down. 

  “Tonyyyy!” You whined. 

He just raised an eyebrow and smiled. You began to reach again when you felt a squeeze to your other side. 

  “Nahahahat! Noooo!” You said with the biggest smile on your face. 

  “Sorry, I couldn’t miss the opportunity.” She said with a sly smirk. 

You rolled your eyes and waited until no one was around to quickly reach up again, when suddenly, you were snatched up into someone’s arms and being viciously tickled all over your tummy. 

  “Dahahaddy! Stahahaaap!” You shrieked as Bucky tickled you. 

  “Awww why? I just wanna tickle my little Y/n!” He teased and you immediately turned red. 

It tickled so much you couldn’t speak, just laugh and bat at his hands. Bucky stopped and reached up to grab your “Cap’n Ameri-Crunch,” handed it to you, and set you down. You walked toward the fridge for some milk as you blushed. You looked over at Peter to see he had been giggling at the scene. 

  “What’s so funny, Spidey?” Tony asked.

Peter’s eyes went wide and he tensed.

Tony began massaging his shoulders and neck in a purposefully ticklish way. “Do you need some morning tickles too?”

  “N-Nohoho. I’m good! I’m gohohooood!” Peter cracked up as he squeezed his shoulders towards his neck where Tony was now straight up tickling him. 

  “Are you sure?” Tony teased some more.

 “YES! Yeheheheesss! I got plenty the other nihihihght!” Peter cackled. 

You smiled to yourself as you poured the milk into the bowls, remembering the events of two nights ago. 

 Flashback to Two Nights Prior

  Everyone was chilling in the living room after a long day at the lake, talking and having a good time. It was one of the most relaxing parts of the day, after dinner, before bed. There were candles lit around the cabin and you could hear the crickets outside. Summer nights would always hold a special place in your heart. 

  You sat next to Peter as he scrolled through Instagram, watching funny videos, reading conspiracy theories, etc., but he also spent quite a lot of time checking the news on things happening in Queens and the rest of NYC while he has been gone.

  You were both lost in his phone, and honestly not paying attention to what the adults were talking about. Being the same age, you and Peter were spending the most time together on this vacation, and sometimes you talked about how it would be fun to have other people your age to hangout with and relate to, but you were still having fun nonetheless. 

 Tony noticed how much Peter had been on his phone, and he really felt that it would be better for the kid to not be on it so much, worrying about the news in Queens, and to just get the most out of the vacation as possible. Peter needed it, and that was a big reason he and Pepper decided to take this vacation. 

  “Pete, I really think you need to, you know, take a break from the phone. Be present.” Tony said for the hundredth time on the trip. 

  “It’s fine, Mr. Stark! I got it under control. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m fine. I’m relaxed!” 

Tony sucked in his cheek as Peter looked back at his phone, scrolling. 

You curled up to Peter and whispered to him. “I think he may be right, Peter.”

“It’s okay. I’m good, Y/n.” Peter attempted to reassure you with a smile. You didn’t really believe him. 

 Peter, in his own thoughts, knew Tony was right. He couldn’t stop worrying about Queens and he hadn’t been away from there this long since he was bit. He felt responsible for the whole city.

Peter refreshed the news page and still nothing new popped up. 

   “Alright, kid. I guess you haven’t learned your lesson.” Tony said, approaching Peter. 

   “Wait! What do you mean?’ Peter asked nervously as he dropped his phone next to him on the couch. 

You knew what was about to happen and scooted over a bit to avoid being in the way. 

   “I think you need to start listening to me, Peter.” Tony said, raising an eyebrow, towering over Peter. 

  “Nonono I do listen! I do!” Peter protested, raising his hands up in defense. 

  “Do you now?” 

 “Y-Yes!”

 “I don’t think so!” Tony teased as he wiggled his fingers toward Peter.

 “NOHOHOHOHOHOOO!” Peter scream-laughed as Tony’s fingers wiggled into his ribs. 

You giggled as you watched Tony reduce Peter to a ticklish puddle. Peter silent-laughed as Tony began to shake his ribs. 

 “Does that tickle, Parker? Huh?” Tony asked as Peter turned bright red. 

 “Yehehessss! I’m sohohohrry! I’ll stahahaap!” Peter pleaded through his hysterical laughter. 

 “Alright, good!” Tony said as he stopped tickling Peter. “So we got a deal?”

 “Yes.. yes, deal!” Peter answered as he caught his breath. 

 “That’s great! But I think I’m going to keep tickling you anyway. It’s too much fun.” Tony decided, as he dug into Peter’s extremely ticklish tummy, sending him back into hysterics. Tony then crawled his fingers up into Peter’s deathly ticklish armpits and Peter thrashed around like a fish out of water, hilarious laughter spilling out of his mouth. He toppled over on his side next to you. You scooted over just in time so you wouldn’t be trapped under him. Tony took this opportunity to get on the couch and straddle Peter’s waist, continuing to tickle under his arms. Peter’s laughter turned hiccupy, and his eyes were squeezed shut, revealing his handsome “crow’s feet” and bright smile spread across his face. Tony couldn’t help but chuckle at this, and you, of course, were giggling at the sight. Peter finally caught his breath.

  “I CAN’T! Ihihihihi cahahahan’t!” He shouted. 

Tony slipped his hands out from under his arms. Even that motion tickled Peter. He then began squeezing Peter’s hips and Peter’s rare belly laughter poured out of him. You couldn’t help but blush, knowing how much it tickles when Tony does that. This went on for a while, until Tony knew Peter couldn’t take much more, and he ceased his tickling, while Peter turned on his side, recovering. 

  “Have you learned your lesson, kid?” Tony asked Peter. 

  “Yes. Definitely!” Peter replied, followed by a few remaining giggles. 

You were still giggling yourself when Tony shot a look at you, causing you to shut your mouth, eyes widening. 

  “This lesson goes for you too, missy.” Tony warned, a playful glint in his eyes. 

You nodded with a sheepish smile, slowly grabbing a pillow to cover your torso. Tony leaned toward you slowly, before surprising you by snatching the pillow away from you and digging both of his “claws” into your tummy, causing you to shriek with adorably high pitched laughter. Tony was leaned down close to your face, smiling at you, and that made it tickle so much more. He then moved down to squeezing your hips, like he did to Peter, and you threw your head back in laughter. You were bright red from laughter, and being super flustered. 

  Peter, who had recovered from his attack, was now giggling at Tony tickling you. You squealed as you trapped Tony’s hands in your very ticklish armpits, as Tony repeatedly said “tickle tickle tickle!” You thought you might die then and there, only for it to get worse when Peter spoke up. 

  “Since you found me getting tickled so funny, and did nothing to help, I guess that leaves me no choice.” Peter said in an evil tone. He grabbed your left foot, which was oddly more ticklish than your right, and began scribbling all over the bottom of it. You screamed until your laughter fell silent when Tony began blowing raspberries on your jaw and neck, still tickling your under arms. Peter then decided to scritch at your toes and you couldn’t take it anymore. 

  “STAHAHAHPPP!” You yelled out. Tony and Peter both laughed, but granted your request.   “Ohohoh my gohohohosh.” You giggled flusteredly, as you turned over on your belly and hid your face in the couch. 

  “Awwww!” Tony and Peter both sang as they began to tickle lightly all over your back. You let out adorable bubbly giggles, and squirmed around a bit. You actually liked these back tickles, though you’d never admit it. After a while, they let up and you and Peter were definitely more present with everyone else. 

…

 You brought Peter his cereal and sat next to him. Everyone else had come down for breakfast, ready to start the day. Thor sat down next to you, a bright smile on his face. 

  “Good morning, princess!” He said sweetly. 

  “Good morning, god of thunder, king, alien.” You replied. Thor chuckled at your comment. 

  “What is on the agenda today, Tony?” Thor asked. 

  “We’re going to rent ATVs and take them to some ATV trails. It will be really fun!” Tony announced.

You and Peter looked at each other very excitedly. “AWESOME.”

  “What is an ATV?” Thor asked. “I thought that was an ATV.” He pointed at the TV in the living room. 

 “You’ll see.” 

  You all had finally arrived at the ATV trails, and everyone was ready. You were a little salty though, because everyone had their own four wheeler, or bike, except you. Peter was currently teaching Thor how to drive and Thor caught on quite quickly and was having a blast. 

  “Whhhhy can’t I have my own?!” You whined to Bucky and Steve. Tony wanted to get you your own, but Bucky and Steve weren’t allowing it. 

   “Because you have never drove one before, and you need to learn first!” Steve scolded. 

   “Stop whining, Y/n.” Bucky said sternly. 

   “We are just trying to keep you safe.” Steve added. 

   “But I have ridden many times before! I know how it works!” You argued. 

   “We are not trying to baby you. We just want to teach you first, okay?” Bucky said. 

You rolled your eyes. You felt like a baby. Even Peter got his own, even though you understood where they were coming from. You were just independent, and wanted to feel grown for once. 

  “You want to ride with me or Bucky?” Steve asked. You crossed your arms, a little annoyed with both of them. You didn’t want either of them at the moment. Just then, Tony pulled up next to the three of you. 

  “Hop on, Y/n. I’m going to teach you, AND we’re going to have fun!” Tony said smoothly. 

You smirked, and climbed onto the four wheeler, sitting in front of Tony as he began to show you the gas and breaks.

Steve and Bucky chuckled. “She needs a helmet.” They both ordered. 

  “Of course!” Tony said cooly, and pulled out the Iron Man helmet and placed it on your head. 

  “HECK YEAH!” You shouted as the notification popped up all around you and your eyes adjusted to the helmet. Tony chuckled. 

  “Biometric scan complete.” FRIDAY said. 

  “BYE!” You yelled, throwing up the peace sign, and took off down the trail with Tony. 

  “WOOOO HOOOO!”

  After driving for a while and having a blast, you pulled over. 

   “See, I told you I could drive!” You told Tony.

   “I knew you could! Do you want me to get you your own?” Tony asked.

   “No, I’d rather stay with you.” You smiled. Tony smiled back. 

   “Well then you better hang on tight!” Tony said, speeding back down the trail as you laughed with glee. 

  After hours of fun on the ATV trails, it was currently sunset and you were all back at the cabin. Some were making dinner and others were swimming. You, Peter, and Thor were currently in the pool playing mermaids like a bunch of children, except Thor kept throwing you across the pool, because he was playing the mermaid villain.

  “Dinner everyone!” Vision called from the back door. Everyone rushed out of the pool, but you and Peter stayed behind, because you were both having a lot of fun swimming. 

  “We’ll be in in a minute!” Peter called. 

You both finally got out of the pool after a minute or so and were drying off, wrapped in your towels, when something caught Peter’s eye. 

  “Y/n, look on the trail, in the woods.” He said, pointing toward little blinking lights. They were lightning bugs, and you got really excited. 

  “Let’s follow them!” You said. You both slipped on your flip flops and went to the trail. 

It was twilight and very beautiful out. The lightning bugs were everywhere and it was probably one of the most stunning moments of your life. You and Peter had made it pretty far up the trail, following the lightning bugs. One even landed in Peter’s hand and he held it out for you both to observe up close. The little bug blinked it’s yellowish green light and you both gasped. It flew away into the woods and you and Peter watched it join the others. You could barely see the lights of the cabin anymore, and expected to turn around, when Peter spoke. 

  “I’m picking up on something.” Peter whispered, tilting his head. 

  “What is it?” You asked, a little nervous that it was something bad. 

  “I’m hearing music...and laughter. That way.” Peter said, pointing toward the left into the woods. 

You grinned. “Peter, let’s go check it out! Maybe… it’ll be fun.” You suggested. 

  “What about, you know, everyone back at the cabin. Shouldn’t we tell them?” Peter asked with a little smirk. 

  “NO. They have been kind of babying me. You know? I just want to do something fun. Without needing permission or everyone having to know.” You admitted. 

  “Oh, so you wanna be a little rebellious, huh?” Peter teased, wiggling his eyebrows at you. 

  “Ugh yes, you dork!” You said, playfully hitting his chest. 

Peter shrugged. “Sounds like it could be fun.” He crossed his wrists, activating his web shooters, and picked you up, resting you on his hip. You held onto him as he leapt off the ground swinging through the trees. 

  After a while of swinging, you finally started to hear what Peter had been hearing: music. It became clearer as Peter got you guys closer. 

 “Perfect.” Peter said as he saw a platform in the trees, like a little tree house. He landed on it and set you down. You still held onto him since you were pretty high up. You could hear everything now, but all you could see were some lights. 

  “We need to get on the ground.” Peter said, picking you up again. You both decided to leave your towels in the tree house, so they wouldn’t be in the way. He jumped from the tree house, and before you knew it, you guys were back on the trail, walking toward the sound and lights. 

  “Hey Johnny, what are you-” someone said, trailing off. “Oh sorry you’re not Johnny you’re… I don’t know you.” A tall teenage boy said. He stepped closer to you two. “I don’t know you either. Who are you guys?” The guy asked. He had fluffy brown hair, blue eyes, and what looked like a lot of freckles. 

  “Oh hi, I’m Peter, and this is Y/n. We are staying in a cabin with our friends and family, and we heard the music and wanted to check it out.” Peter explained.

  “Nice to meet you, I’m Max, and that’s actually great. A lot of us spend our summer’s here with our families, but we want to spend time with other teenagers and young adults, you know?” Max said, cooly. It was now that you noticed his southern accent. “I’ll show you. You’re more than welcome to come hangout.” 

  You both walked by Max down the trail to reveal a big swimming hole, with lights streamed in the trees, and lanterns lit everywhere. It was gorgeous. There were a lot of people that looked to be you and Peter’s age, and a bit older. They were swinging from a rope swing into the swimming hold, dancing in the grass with each other to the music, and there was food and drinks, a few alcoholic, even. You were mixed with nerves and excitement. You had always wanted to go to a party like this, but never had, since Peter was pretty much your only friend your age.

  “This is awesome, man!” Peter exclaimed. You could see him clearly now that you were in the light, and Max. You even thought Max was pretty cute, but standing next to Peter, who had his arms crossed, shirtless, and observing the party, you couldn’t help but admit to yourself, that next to Peter, Max didn’t compare.

  You were only in your swimsuit yourself, which was appropriate for the setting, because everyone else was, but you noticed Max looking you up and down. You’d never been checked out before. Peter stepped in front of you a bit to block Max’s view. You saw Peter’s jaw clench. He became a bit protective over you and butterflies began to swarm in your stomach.

  “Do you wanna go back to the cabin, or stay? Peter asked, leaning down to you a bit, after pulling you aside. 

  “Peter, this is like so awesome! We have to stay and have fun!” You insisted. 

  “They might be worried about us.” Peter added.

  “You are SPIDER-MAN!” You whispered to Peter, causing him to look around cautiously.   “They’d have to be stupid to be worried about us. I’m safe with you… and we can be ourselves here. You don’t even have to...to hide your.. body.” You prodded.

Peter blushed a bit, as he noticed you looking  at him. “Okay… okay. Let’s party!” Peter nodded, pulling you toward the party. 

Everyone was really friendly, and you and Peter fit right in for once. 

  “So you wanna swim, or dance?” Peter asked you, shouting over the music. 

 “Oh well I uh- I can’t really dance.” You shouted back. You never really danced, except when Tony, Steve, or Bucky were playing around with you back home, but you’d always stand on their feet, but other than that, you never really had experience with dancing. Especially the way people were dancing here. It was not slow dancing. Couples were dancing quite close to each other, and the music was up beat. It looked fun, honestly, but Peter probably would never dance with you like... that. Especially not with you, you thought. 

Peter noticed you watching, and smirked. “You… You want to, don’t you.”

You went a little red. Curse him for knowing you too well. “Well I- I’ve never- I can’t dance so uh let’s just- let’s just swim.” You rambled nervously. You wanted to dance with Peter, but for the life of you, you couldn’t admit it. You were scared of what he’d think or say. 

  “I’m sorry, but what’s got you all nervous?” Peter questioned. 

  “The party! First party.” You answered way too quickly. 

  “Really? Because you were all excited and rebellious a second ago.” Peter teased. He wasn’t convinced you were being fully honest. 

  “I still am!” You lied. 

 Peter gasped. “Ooooh! You like Max! That’s why you’re nervous!” Peter declared.

  “No!” You shot back. “I mean… he’s cute, but... I don’t like him like that. Plus, it looks like he’s taken.” You insisted, pointing at Max who was kissing what looked to be like his boyfriend.  

  “Then what has you so nervous?” Peter asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

You were silently freaking out inside your head. Peter is your best friend. You have never felt this way about anyone before, except a few celebrities on TV, but this was too real. It was the first time you had ever let your guard down and went off and been a real teenager, but it came with some other new feelings you must have been hiding for some time. 

Peter stared down at you, and realization hit him. His heart pounded a bit. 

  “Am I… Am I making you nervous?” Peter asked, hesitantly.

Butterflies swarmed in your stomach. You refused to make eye contact.

  “Peter, the dancing is making me nervous. I don’t want to make a fool of myself in front of everyone.” 

  “Oh…” He replied awkwardly. Then, a smirk appeared on his face. “Lucky for you, I’ve become a pretty good dancer.”

This was true. Peter had been to quite a few more parties in the past year, and he really loved to dance.

 Peter pulled you to the grass with everyone else who was dancing. You looked around nervously. 

 “Don’t worry about them, just follow my lead.” Peter instructed, throwing your arms around his neck as he held your waist. He pulled you close to him, and he began swaying pretty fast, and you struggled to keep up with his rhythm at first. “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd was blasting and it felt great to dance to, even though you were still a little tense. 

  “Just let go.” Peter urged, trying to help guide you, as you felt his hips rolling. There were those butterflies again.

You finally just let go and allowed yourself to have fun, after all you had been keeping down. You were having so much fun, and so was Peter. You felt safe with him, and liked being this close to him. Neither of you worried about anything. You were both just being free and happy and young. You kept laughing, especially when Peter would twirl you really fast, dip you, or pick you up and spin you. You were both in pure summer bliss. 

…

Back at the cabin, everyone had finished eating dinner and were sitting around the table. 

  “Uh where are the kids?” Sam asked. 

  “I think they’re STILL swimming.” Wanda said. 

  “Yeah they should come eat, or their food is going to be cold.” Pepper said, getting up from the table. She peeked outside, and saw the pool was empty. She stepped outside and looked around. There was no one. “They are not in the pool. I don’t see them anywhere.” 

Bucky and Steve simultaneously shot up from their seats and rushed to the back door. They called your names and searched the yard, but there was no answer, no one. 

  “Tony, we gotta find them.” Bucky stressed. “What if something bad happened?”

  “Hey it’s probably fine! They are old enough to go for a walk or something.” Tony said, even though he was a little worried deep down.

  “Uh without telling anybody?” Steve snapped. 

  “It is unlike them.” Natasha added.

  “I trust Peter. Immensely. Y/n as well.” Tony argued. 

  “They could be in trouble!” Steve fought. 

  “He’s Spider-Man!” Tony retaliated. 

  “SO?” Bucky yelled. He was furious. 

  “Two teenagers… going off alone… after swimming? Sounds fishy to me.” Sam shrugged. 

  “Oh my God. My little girl… I think I might faint.” Bucky said, collapsing to a chair. 

“Oh they aren’t! Geez! Don’t think that.” Nat scoffed.

  “I AM GOING TO SEARCH FOR THEM IMMEDIATELY.” Thor growled, heading towards the door. 

  “WAIT! Wait.” Tony called, causing everyone to stop. Peter and I have a device in his web shooters. He has them on. I know for a fact. If he was in any danger, I’d be notified immediately. See?” Tony said, holding up his phone, confirming that Peter had his web shooters and was alright.  “The only thing I don’t have on him is a GPS. I decided to give him more freedom than that.”

 Everyone relaxed. 

  “Okay. Okay, so they just ran off. Probably to go in the canoe or something. Everything is fine.” Steve sighed of relief. Bucky seemed to calm down too. 

  “I trust her. I do.” Bucky reassured everyone, and himself.

Tony looked at Peter’s vitals though, and his heart dropped. 

  “Um… the only thing I’m seeing that is kind of… um. Weird-” Tony spoke up. 

  “WHAT.” Thor demanded. 

  “Peter’s heart rate is really, really high.” Tony announced. 

  “Oh God… I think I’m gonna be sick. My baby.” Bucky said dramatically as Steve crashed down in the chair next to him, his head in his hands. 

  “We’ll just wait for them to return.” 

…

  You and Peter had danced to several songs and now you were in the grass, tickling the snot out of Peter, after you both sat down at the party to chill and drink water. You both were NOT going to drink alcohol. That would just give you a reason to be in trouble.

  “PLEHEHEHEASE! Y/N! I’m soohohorry!” Peter screamed through his laughter as you tickled all over his tummy and sides for sticking an ice cube down the back of your swimsuit top. “IHIHIHI CAHAHAN’T BREHEHEHATHE!” He cried as you cackled at him. 

 “Serves you right, doesn’t it? Huh?” You teased as you tickled his upper ribs, and he rolled all over the grass in ticklish agony. 

 “YEHEHEHES! I’M SOHOHOHO SOHOHORRY!” He shouted through his laughter. 

You decided to have mercy on him, and he sat up catching his breath.

  “Ohohoho my goodness. I can literally feel my heart.. beating out of my chest.” 

You giggled at him. “Wanna swim before we head back to the cabin?” You asked him.

  “Definitely!” Peter said, getting to his feet, followed by you. 

You noticed a group of people were jumping off a cliff into the water. They were laughing and having fun. 

  “Peter, look! I wanna do that!” You said, pointing to more people jumping off the cliff. 

  “Um… you sure?” He asked. He knew he could do it no problem, but was worried about you.

  “YES! They are doing it and they are fine!” You exclaimed, dragging him to the cliff. 

When you arrived, you were next to jump. Peter attempted to pick you up, but you stopped him.     

  “No! I want to do it myself, Peter.” You said. 

  “Oh um okay, just make sure when you hit the water, you bring your legs up towards your chest, alright? It’s not very deep.” Peter explained. 

  “Got it.” You said, and on the count of three, you both jumped. The drop was so exciting, but when you hit the water, your attempt to raise your legs failed, and a shooting pain was sent through your right leg. You were in shock and felt as if the air was knocked out of you. You were too far to the right on the cliff, and when you jumped, you landed on a large rock that was only about three feet under the surface of the water. 

 Peter came up out of the water, laughing and you fake laughed. You were a bit embarrassed with what just happened and didn’t want to make a scene, but as you started to swim to the shore, tears started to flow down your face, as the pain worsened. 

  “Pete. Help.” You choked out from behind him, as you tried to swim. 

Peter turned around and the expression on his face was pure worry. He pulled you out of the water onto the grass and observed your leg. It was red, swollen, and bleeding quite a bit in a few spots. 

  “I landed on a rock.” You said. 

 “Do you think it’s broken?” He asked.

 “I can’t tell.” 

Peter scooped you up in his arms, and took off towards the cabin as fast and carefully as he could. 

  Peter stumbled in the back door with you in his arms. He had a guilty expression gracing his face. Bucky snatched you away from him. 

  “Bring her up to Pepper and I’s bathroom.” Tony ordered. 

Bucky carried you up the stairs. “You okay, baby?” He asked worriedly. 

 “Just sore.” You said. 

Peter tried to follow you up the stairs, but was blocked by an angry Steve. 

  “Couch. Now.” He ordered. 

Peter sighed and went to the living room where everyone else was. 

…

You were sitting on the bathroom counter, now in your pajamas.

 “Well no breaks or sprains. Just busted it up pretty good. Should be normal in a few days, just bruises and scars.” Tony concluded as he wrapped bandages on your leg. 

  “Thank you, Tony.” You said quietly.  

  “This shouldn’t have happened.” Bucky said to you. He didn’t seem angry, just upset. 

  “It was just a stupid accident. No one’s fault but mine.” You countered. 

  “Peter should’ve taken better care of you.” Bucky replied. 

 “THAT. That is my problem! Care of me? I’m not a baby! I just wanted to have fun, and be my age. But you and Steve are overbearing!” You shouted, frustrated. 

Just as you were saying these things, Steve entered the bathroom, having heard it all from Peter, and now you. 

  “Steve! You’re the one who has pushed me to be more independent, but when I am, you freak out.” You seethed, but were now lowering your voice and calming down. 

  “You know she’s right.” Tony added, putting away the first aid kit. 

  “You are right.” Steve admitted. “But you can’t just expect us to let you be reckless.” 

You were quiet for a moment and tears started to form back in your eyes. You had been reckless, and disrespectful, you realized. This whole growing up thing was hard to navigate, but they didn’t deserve this, and you didn’t mean to hurt anyone.

  “I’m... sorry.” you said, shaking your head as if you just came out of a rebellious trance. 

  “Y/n. You gotta tell us when you go somewhere. You gotta let us make sure you can operate a dangerous vehicle.” Bucky scolded in a stern, yet soft tone. 

You looked over at Tony. 

  “He’s also right.” Tony told you, nodding toward Bucky. 

  “I’m still new at this parenting thing, but I just want you to know I really care about you, and want to help you make good choices. You know, we were really scared about you just disappearing with Peter tonight. That could mean a lot of different things. Even if it is Peter.” Bucky explained. 

  “I should’ve told you what was going on. I really hope you can still trust me after tonight… but I still had fun, and I took care of myself.” You said, but then smiled. “Well until I jumped off a cliff into shallow water.” 

Steve, Bucky, and Tony all chuckled and you joined them, and soon you were all laughing hysterically. After laughing for quite a while, you hugged Bucky. 

  “I really am sorry, Dad.” You said, seriously. 

Bucky gave you a forgiving smile. Steve too. 

  “Rock on, Y/n/n. But seriously, make good choices, heh?!” Tony chirped as he left the bathroom, making you giggle. 

  “So are you gonna ground me or something?” You asked, looking up at Steve and Bucky nervously. 

 “That’s up to your dad.” Steve answered, gesturing toward Bucky. 

Bucky sighed. “I’ll tell you what, kid, I’m gonna let this one slide.”

You smiled excitedly and clapped your hands together, but your face fell when a very intimidating Bucky leaned close to you, his piercing blue eyes locked onto yours. 

 “But this is your warning. Cross me again, and you’ll regret it.” He warned through gritted teeth. 

You gulped. That sure was intense and you felt a real fear of him for the first time, but a good fear. A respectful fear. 

  “G-got it. You a-are the Alpha. White Wolf. L-leader.” You spluttered, pointing at his nose. 

His gritted teeth turned into a playful grin as his hands latched onto your sides, harshly tickling you, much to your surprise. Your smile spread across your face and you broke out into laughter. 

  “Still gonna teach ya a lesson.” Bucky said cooly, before lifting you up off the counter and carrying you to the bed. 

  “I have learned my lesson! I promise! Plehehehease!” You insisted, but Bucky ignored your pleads.

  “Wanna help me out, Steve?” He asked his fellow super soldier. 

  “Don’t mind if I do!” Steve grinned, cracking his knuckles as he slowly approached you as Bucky glared down at you playfully, pretending to be so angry that his eye was twitching. He held your hands to his chest.

Steve sat next to you on the bed as you giggled nervously. Steve started shaking your tummy and you laughed like crazy, bringing a smile to Steve and Bucky’s faces. Bucky tickled under your arms and your neck while Steve tortured your tummy, sides, and ribs. You squirmed and laughed, but were honestly loving this. You were afraid they wouldn’t still do this, or be playful anymore since you were growing up. You never wanted this to go away.

  Ever since you told Steve you liked being tickled, he was always happy to comply, but would never tell anyone else about it. It still made you blush that he knew, since you really didn’t mean for him to find out, but he was always really sweet about it. Bucky moved over as Steve was now tickling your ribs. 

  “Y/n still loves tickles even though she is growing up. She isn’t all big and bad after all, is she? Nope!” Steve teased as he shook your ribs. You blushed profusely, making him cackle, and you couldn’t help your famous belly laugh from pouring out of you. 

 Bucky listened to what Steve was saying and was a bit confused. 

  “Wait. Wait wait wait. Stop a second.” Bucky ordered. Steve quit and looked at Bucky. Your eyes went wide. Oh no. 

  “Is that true?! You like being tickled, Y/n?” Bucky asked as if it was the most adorable thing he had ever heard. 

  “Ohoho no. I’m sorry, Y/n.” Steve apologized sweetly as he didn’t mean to expose you like that. 

  “Maybe…” You answered with a sheepish smile. You couldn’t get any redder. 

  “YES? IS THAT A YES?” Bucky urged. 

  “Don’t tell a soul!” You whined, hiding your face in your hands. 

  “That is so CUTE!” Bucky beamed. 

  “I don’t know why. I just always have.” You admitted shyly. 

  “That actually explains a lot.” Bucky giggled, thinking back on all the evidence. “Tickle time!” He teased as he began to tickle your tummy and you had never been more flustered in your life, ever, but you were really glad he knew now. 

He tickled you some more until you had enough and were now really tired. He and Steve laid next to, as Bucky stroked your hair lovingly. Suddenly, Thor burst through the door. 

  “Princess, you are hereby sentenced to grounding for running off!” He declared. “Young Peter has also been banished. I locked him in the closet.” He joked, as he dramatically stormed toward you. 

  You burst out laughing at him as he snatched you up, making sure to be careful with your leg, and threw you over his shoulder while you giggled. Bucky and Steve giggled as well.

#marvel tickle #marvel tickle fic #spider-man tickle #mcu tickle #mcu tickle fic #peter parker tickle #ticklish!peter #tickle fic #avengers tickle #avengers x reader tickle #avengers x reader tickle fic #avengers tickle fic #bucky barnes tickle #ler!bucky #fluffy lee #tickle fluff #irondad tickle #fluffy-lee #keeping her fluffy lee #vacation fluffy-lee #fluffy lee vacation #vacation fluffy lee

[cxplqnce]

Dick Grayson - Like Strangers Do

Word Count: 1,544

Based on Like Strangers Do by AJ Mitchell

I miss the taste of your lips on Sunday

And the sound of your laugh when I say something funny

But nobody heard it, except for you

And my mom still ask about you

I lie and say we friendly

'Cause I don't have it in me, to tell the truth

It had been a while since you and Dick had broken up but you were still a mess. Even though it was for good reason, you still regret leaving when he got angry at you. He had argued with you after you had been kidnapped by Deathstroke and almost killed. He had told you how unsafe his job was and how badly he wanted to keep you safe so he ended it. Instead of arguing back, you just left.

You had moved so far away from San Francisco, back to your hometown in Michigan. You moved back in with your parents after lying to them saying that you got a job offer that you couldn’t refuse. You told your mother that you and Dick were still friends that it was a mutual decision but that was also a lie.

I miss the way that you looked in your sundress

The way that you looked when you undressed

The sound of your first steps across the room

Now my friends don't ask about you

'Cause they think I'm fine without you

I say it's all good but it's never true

Dick missed you too. He had been in a slump, making irrational and stupid decisions. So much so that Deathstroke won. Donna had told Dick to try and move on. To deal with his personal issues before going back to the superhero life but Dick had refused. He had told Donna he was fine but it was obviously a lie.

Soon after, the Titans were disbanded and Dick moved to Detroit. However, it wasn’t long before his past came back to bite him in the form of Rachel Roth.

A few new team members, some returning ones and a demon later, and Dick was back in San Francisco and Deathstroke was back. Unfortunately for you, Deathstroke hadn’t forgotten about you and had come bearing gifts.

Before you knew it, you were locked in a damp, dark room with ropes around your hands and feet and blood dripping from your head. You looked around and saw a man that you didn’t recognise. He had on a metal helmet and suit, with a large light on his chest.

“Oh, the little princess awakes from her slumber.” The man joked, walking towards you. You panicked and struggled in your chair – a few tears falling from your eyes. “What shall we do with you, eh?”

“Oh, Dr Light!” You heard to your right. You looked up to see a young boy in the Robin suit laughing. Once you saw the suit you thought it was Dick but as you looked closer you knew it wasn’t. “Did you come up with that shit by yourself or did your parents saddle you with that bullshit? I mean come on, what a lame fucking name.” The boy sneered.

“Shut it!” Dr Light yelled in his direction, but then came back to you, creating sparks from his fingers and pointing them right at your face. You whimpered as you felt the heat from the sparks start to irritate your skin.

The boy chuckled again, “What? Is my talking annoying you, dickweed? Cause that’s the thing…” By this point, Dr Light had most definitely had enough of the boy’s constant yapping so moved away from you and towards the boy who continued on his monologue, “I can do it all day, all night. And if you’re nice… twice on a Sunday.”

Dr Light stood directly in front of the boy and glared at him, “I said, shut the fuck up.”

But just as he finished his sentence the boy viciously kicked him in the down-there area, then in the head and strangled him with his legs before saying, “Night, night asshole,” and escaping his ropes.

Once you’d heard the sound of bones clicking back into place, you saw him look in your direction and run over, “Are you okay?” He asked, untying the ropes around your hands. You nodded; your breathing still heavy and fast. “Okay, let’s go.” You ran to the staircase before a sword was held pointing towards you and you were forced back into your chair.

You and me, what are we if we not together?

It could be nothing 'cause nothing last forever

You sat in your chair, tears running down your face as Deathstroke picked up a phone and dialled a number. The phone connected and he started to speak in the voice that gave you chills, “I see you found my gift.”

You heard mumbling on the other side of the line before Deathstroke spoke again, “Oh, you mean your little sidekick?”

“Who the fuck you calling a sidekick, asshole?” The boy, you had learnt was called Jason, yelled before Deathstroke started beating the shit out of him… again.

“As I was saying if you want him back, hand over Rose. Also, I have another gift for you.” He said, menacingly before looking over at you, “Say hello to Dick.”

“Dick?” You asked, your voice trembling, “Please, help me.”

If you saw me on the train would you look the other way?

Like strangers do

Later that evening, or morning, you and Jason were tied to a window cleaning carriage about forty floors up – with an explosive tied to one side – while Deathstroke waited inside for Dick and the Titans to show up.

“You doing okay?” Jason asked, trying to get out of the binds that held him to the carriage.

You nodded, “Yeah. I’m good. Funnily enough, not the first time I’ve been kidnapped by Deathstroke.”

Before Jason could reply, the blind on the inside of the windows rose upwards, uncovering Dick and Deathstroke. Dick’s face went pale as he saw the explosive on the side of the carriage. Deathstroke pulled out the detonator but before he could click it, he was encased by flames – coming from a woman with purple hair, a fellow Titan you presumed.

After the fire lady appeared, a fight broke out. Every time Deathstroke got closer to Dick, your heart sped up slightly as you and Jason desperately tried to undo the binds on your wrists. The fire lady pushed Deathstroke through a wall so Dick got up from his position on the floor and came over to the window, hitting it with his fist but to no avail. However, the fire lady was knocked out with an explosion so Dick ran over to stop Deathstroke from killing her.

Thankfully you remembered something that Dick told you and you screamed as you pushed your knuckle, dislocating it and freeing one of your hands. You freed your other hand before freeing Jason from his binds but as you did, you saw that the fight had ended with Dick and the fire lady on the ground and Deathstroke with the detonator. He pulled it as you both launched forwards grabbing onto the side of the building.

Dick ran to you both, getting down on his knees, “Get her first!” Jason shouted as Dick pulled you up onto the ledge. He then reached back down and grabbed Jason’s hand but it slipped and Jason fell.

It happened in slow motion as your hands clasped over your mouth but before Jason could hit the ground, some superhero grabbed him – saving his life. Dick grabbed your hand, pulling you to run down to the ground with him and the fire lady.

You heard two shots and saw the man who saved Jason fall down. You stood in front of all of them unsure of what to do as Dick tried to figure out if they were both okay.

“What happened?”

“This guy just saved my life.”

And if you passed me on the street

Would you look down at your feet

And move on through?

Like strangers do

“You doing okay?” Dick asked as he entered his bedroom, where you sat in his bed failing to get any sleep whatsoever.

You grimaced, “Not really. Is that Jason boy okay? And the guy who saved his life?”

“Of course that’s what you’d ask. Always worrying about everyone but yourself.” Dick smiled, “And yeah, Jason’s fine. The other guy is in a coma down the hall but Dawn said he’ll be fine.”

“Good.” You replied. You paused for a moment reviewing what you wanted to say before speaking again, “So, is getting kidnapped by your nemesis’ going to be a monthly occurrence. Should I schedule it in my calendar?” You joked.

Dick chuckled, “That’s not funny.”

“But you laughed… It’s nice to see you smile.” You said, without thinking. “Sorry, that was awkward.”

“It’s okay. It’s nice to see you smile too.” He replied. He looked into your eyes for a moment, thinking about something, “Would it be completely wrong to ask to kiss you? I know we broke up months ago but…”

“It wouldn’t be wrong at all.” You replied before leaning into kiss Dick’s soft lips. “I’ve missed you Dick Grayson.”

“I’ve missed you too, Y/N.”

 A/N: Sorry I’ve been super inactive lately but I’ve been really busy with college :) Anyways, hope you enjoy, follow my instagram @ cxplqnce and I take requests!

#dick grayson imagine #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson #dick grayson one shot #Titans #dc titans #titans imagine

[bellaelisabeth95]

A reminder of the toxicity that plagues the legacy of Marlene King and Pretty Little Liars

TW: Self harm and suicide

I know that this coming week starts the Pretty Little Liars spinoff “The Perfectionists,” also directed by Marlene King and starring two cast members from the original show. PLL has been over for years now, but that doesn’t mean some of its most…… passionate? fans have forgotten it. I know many of us haven’t. Who could forget the disaster that was the end of Pretty Little Liars, as a small but very loud subgroup of fans decided to viciously attack anyone who stood in the way of their beloved ship? Before I go any further, I want to make it clear that everyone knows it was not all emison fans. If you are a person who shipped emison but did not bully other cast members or fans, then I feel truly sorry that you were in the same group as them. And I thank you for not taking part in what some of them did.   

  The reason I’m making this post is because of the Lindsey Shaw Fiasco. I know every single PLL fan on social media knows what this is, regardless of who you shipped/didn’t ship. I want to make sure in light of MK’s new show no one forgets what happened to her, and what could happen again. Marlene King watched as one of her own actors, as well as many of the fans of her show, were mercilessly harassed and said NOTHING. In fact, she pandered to the same people doing the harassing. Both Shay Mitchell and Sasha Pieterse, the two parts of the emison ship, said nothing, despite the harassers being their fans. Now, maybe you’ll say all the ships had crazy fans. They did. But none like this one. Because these people went beyond the typical mean comments about looks or weight. These people aimed to cause real, true harm, and in some cases they almost succeeded. And now, after PLL being over for two years, with the chance for this rabid fanbase to lose their flame, another show targeted at the SAME PEOPLE is airing next week. Another chance to bring them together, to attack anyone they see as getting in the way of their ship.  

   Fans of the ship Paily were targeted. And even more so than us, Paige’s actress, Lindsey Shaw, was targeted the most relentlessly and disgustingly of all. Whether you are a fan of Lindsey’s or not, you cannot justify what happened to her. Not even if you still choose to believe she “supports Trump,” which she made clear she does not. As a fan of hers, I will agree it was dumb of her to joke about that, and I think she forgot that people don’t always get her sense of humor. Not to mention, there were always people who weren’t fans waiting to pounce. But did you ever stop to think about what led to that little breakdown? (I think right around this time 3 years ago). At that point, Lindsey had already been taking abuse for YEARS, although it certainly got worse as emison became a possibility. She would post something unrelated to the show and be flooded with “kill yourself”, “die pigskin,” and “drink bleach.” How long can someone take that kind of harassment without snapping a little? I was always impressed it didn’t happen sooner. It was clear to me, as well as many of her other fans, that she was going through something personal at the time, and all of the abuse on top of it was a little too much. This all came to a head March 2016. No one from the show said anything.   

  Fast forward to May 2016, when I lost every ounce of respect for every single cast member of PLL. I used to be a huge fan of Shay. That started fading as she failed to even acknowledge her Paily fans as time went on. It was obvious she cared far more about being popular than she did about standing up for her fans or a co-star she claimed to love. And I don’t know, maybe she and Lindsey had some kind of personal falling out. I always wondered if that was the case, because how else could they all be cold enough to ignore someone’s obvious suffering? Even if that is the case, it isn’t an excuse for her never speaking up. On one day in early May, Lindsey retweeted something that got a portion of the emison base in a frenzy, with them claiming she called Sasha ugly (the tweet did no such thing. It was calling Paily a beautiful couple). Anyway, they POUNCED with a level of venom I had never even seen before. It was horrifying. There were lots of death threats, calls for her to hurt herself. But the one that stood out most came from a user who I won’t name because I don’t want her to have the satisfaction. She literally started a petition with Lindsey’s twitter handle in it, telling people to RT to get her to commit suicide. To which Lindsey responded that she had already tried. Anyone outside of that small pocket of emisons was HORRIFIED, frantically tweeting Marlene, Shay, Troian, all the big name people from the show to address this. Even if they didn’t address Lindsey, to just make an overall statement about how this behavior wasn’t okay. Fans from every ship were taking part. I was sure Shay, or at least Marlene, would say something.

  None of them did. Not a single one. It was obvious at that point how much Lindsey was suffering. But still no one said a word.

  These are all adults. Grown women acting like a group of middle school bystanders, too cowardly to stand up for the bullied. There is no excuse for them never addressing this. Especially since with a new show, it’s likely to just start up where it left off. In glancing through instagram comments, these same fans have already found a new target: Evan Bittencourt. I don’t know who he is or why they hate him, and frankly I don’t care, because I’m sure it’s bogus, just like their reasons for hating Lindsey. The point is, just like I was afraid of the second I heard Marlene was doing another show, they have already found a new target. I have literally seen them refer to him as “The new Lindsey Shaw.” And anyone who watched PLL knows that’s not a good thing. Just some snooping has already revealed some pretty ugly tweets/comments, which I’m sure he is seeing. We saw first hand how over time being bombarded with hatred took its toll on someone who was once very proud and passionate about the character they played.

  Mental health is important. Suicide is very serious. I won’t even get into why seeing Lindsey’s tweet that night shattered my heart or why it to this day infuriates me that none of those women said anything. The fact that so many people think it’s a joke, or that it’s okay running around telling people to hurt themselves, will forever remain a mystery.

  Marlene shouldn’t be allowed to have another show after what she encouraged during her last one, and especially not one directed at the same group of fans. PLL needs to be dead and buried forever. No spinoffs. The show, and the people working on it, became toxic, and that same toxicity will be revived the moment these characters are brought back to life next week. Real people got hurt last time. Real people almost died. Think of how crazy and serious that is. I shudder to think what social media is going to look like once this gets under way, especially if the fans of the emison ship feel threatened. I know I will not watch even a second of this show. I hope it is short lived and these characters, and the toxicity they bring with them, can finally be put to rest.

  So what happens if things get bad again, Marlene? Will you say something? Will you ever try to make this right? We haven’t forgotten what you let happen to us, or happen to Lindsey. We will never forget how badly she was struggling personally, or that she was driven off social media because of your fans that you never EVER addressed. It breaks my heart what you let happen to her, and it breaks my heart that with this new show comes the opportunity for it to happen again. I hope you’ve become a better person since the Lindsey Shaw Fiasco. It’s too late for you to ever make that right, and honestly, I don’t think you have any desire to. But I do hope that you at least have enough remorse, however small it may be, to make sure it never happens again.

Please share this. Here, to twitter, instagram, everywhere. Let’s make sure we stand up this time.

#pll #prettylittleliars #emison #paily #emily fields #paige mccullers #sasha pieterse #lindsey shaw #shay mitchell #marlene king #alison dilaurentis #pll the perfectionists #the perfectionists #pretty little liars #pretty little liars the perfectionists

[sugar-petals]

BTS: They Insist You’re Beautiful

❖  angst, fluff, hurt & comfort ❖  warnings: self-esteem issues, dieting, body dysmorphia, feels

⟼ Jimin

Even at the risk of embarrassment and making it worse, the shower of compliments will never cease once he senses your self-doubt. What drives Jimin is his own second-guessing that will haunt him all too frequently, be it through weight gain or just an outfit that won’t look right because “I’m ugly. No matter what I do”. Even after years of trying to fight it, those voices remain. It’s a continuous process that never really ends, which is the hardest part. He would never want to see someone else experience this feeling, not even the tiniest fraction. That’s the reason why he moves heaven and earth and won’t give up convincing you. All too soon, he realizes it’s equally difficult as his own journey because a person cannot be persuaded when there is not a spark of belief already. He has to appeal to your moral sense first and foremost and ask whether it really is so good and healthy to dislike yourself so much. You only got one life. Jimin affirms that when you find flattering things about yourself, that makes his heart beam with endless pride, even if it’s just a detail. Be it your fingers, your lashes, your legs, your smile, your hair, anything. If need be, Jimin will sit down and rack his creative brain to rewrite “Eyes Nose Lips” by Taeyang into something that mentions these aspects only to bring that song to you in a heart-wrenching delivery, dance included. You’ll have something to remember, then, each time you doubt yourself. 

⟼ Tae

So perplexed, so lost. Oh, what have you said. Is it true, do you really mean it? Taehyung does not really believe it is a joke, he can tell by your tone, but he hopes in vain, he truly does. “I’m not beautiful enough” is something so harsh to say. There has to be time for himself to wrap his head around the problem because every hug and cuddle with you doesn’t seem to shoo away the heavy words you use against yourself. An idea is the only thing he can cling to, and he’ll make it reality with his old camera. Not the one he’s currently using, the other one that’s been halfway forgotten by now. There are still countless unused negatives from last summer when there was a confident phase, a time when you would not hold yourself to a standard but instead felt carefree and preoccupied, too busy to mind your body, and happy to be on vacation with him. The pictures are casual and seem so far away. In an obsessive bout, Taehyung will glue it all together seemingly at random, but from the chaos emerges the image of your face as a giant collage. There’s pictures forming ears, forehead, cheeks, eyes, everything. Taehyung signs it without further words but a purple heart at the bottom right corner, and gifts it to you when you least expect it. What he has created may be difficult to understand at first, but later you get why he put all these images together. It means that every part of you is important for your identity to be content in life, and vice versa, that each content moment constitutes your beauty and not the sad times.

⟼ Jin

Especially with Jin, hating yourself and finding flaws to tear yourself apart about is more than a capital offense. Daresay you’re worthless and not quite the eye candy everyone else thinks you are, he’s gonna be so up in arms like the Queen of England when she’s in her “not amused” kind of mood. But still, his reaction is not as you had expected when you nitpick your outfit for the tenth time. You anticipated him trying to persuade you otherwise by all means. Instead, he sits down with you to talk it out with a cup of tea and a not-so-tense atmosphere even if the topic is a fairly important one. Self-worth and dating Jin, that interlinks, it’s a big deal. What he’ll do is empathize and tell you when he felt the same. Which you vehemently deny, how could he put himself down like that so much, what a shame! He’s Jin! “See... and this is what I thought when you called yourself ugly.” You’re quite taken aback and need some time to process it. That’s a shocker. And maybe even reassuring if it didn’t hurt so much knowing you let yourself down. It’s not about you being eye candy for others or yourself in the first place. It’s about how much value you realize you have. Heck, there are legislations on this earth whose first law describes how untouchable human dignity and worth is. Jin won’t let your melodramatic ass break the law like a bandit in the bank of self-love and legit get away with the self-hate money. That, in the house of Kim, is illegal.

⟼ Yoongi

It’s more than hard to bear for him. If he could manage that, there would be no mirrors in your home or the entire path you walk in a day. Not a single one. Yoongi would paint, veil, remove, shatter all of them just to prevent you from sizing yourself up and starting to scrutinize every time, be it in gaze — you thought he couldn’t tell? he knows how it is — or in words. Especially that glance he is all too familiar with is something that he can’t handle. When you look down at your body to find things you would want to remove or replace. You wish you could be someone else entirely that by now you cannot measure up to, so it’s tough to be stuck in this inferior body, like a prison with no windows and regular food. There’s nothing more hurtful than to see a loved one fall apart when they compare and criticize themselves into a state where it’s not even sad anymore, just dull and a bottomless pit of feeling completely devoid of hope. To the point where your daily life feels that way, too. He will NEVER permit that you will feel emprisoned like this. There is always hope and he will rap and write it out for you until you realize that he appreciates you for everything you are, including each inch of surface no matter how tortured or deprecated or shamed or rejected it may be. Yoongi will reassure you that there’s no need to look a certain way. Who is he to judge. He doesn’t own you. And he didn’t want to get to know you because you were somebody else, or wanted to be that elusive role model in the first place. 

⟼ Hoseok

“Oh... come on now, you didn’t see yourself, did you?” Disparaged as your body feels to you, you will not see how much effort he puts into demonstrating that he really accepts you without condition. The conviction that a boyfriend must stick up and really state the case makes Hoseok really want to encourage you to the best of his abilities. Hell, even if he cannot fully eradicate the put-downs he sees in your eyes when you look at yourself or take a picture and delete it right away, or when you throw on layers and layers of makeup because you can’t stand your skin and the shape of your eyelids and the way your eyebrows curve, and spots here and there and everywhere. It’s a fight. Hoseok has to admit that he himself loves makeup to correct and hide things, and not to amplify and ‘highlight’ features like the stylists say with their practiced smiles. It is, after all, a mask, made up. Before he can support you, first he realizes that he has to work on and examine his own values and shortcomings so he can give you the right kind of attention in return, without an all too easy hipocrisy and condescension, something that really makes your heart full of love. That he tries to change himself so heavily and put on ridiculous clothes to get a reaction from others serves as a warning to him. Hoseok knows how the opinions of others can puppeteer someone. He’ll make you get that you can believe him, that he sees you as beautiful and even if he didn’t, that is what you are. Doesn’t he look at you more genuinely and adoringly when you wipe off the foundation and eye shadow? 

⟼ Namjoon

You’re down. On the sofa, trying to get some distraction online. But even there, each perfect image of a girl that pops up on your feed is a reminder. Instagram is not a supportive place to truly feel better about yourself. He does what he can do best. He’ll reason it through for you start to finish on a global scale. Women’s most demeaning role had always been to be looked at, not as a person of action, but groomed visual value on two legs for the last 5,000 years. It wasn’t good, but that was how she attained her legitimacy in the eyes of men who would reduce her to a shell without the power to define herself, even viciously competing with other women for approval while men straight-up walked around with the beauty routine of the Grinch getting away with it. Who were you to break out of that cycle when an entire culture was so deeply entrenched with this dynamic, still, entire industries run by wealthy men capitalizing on an ideal so deliberately unachieveable. Namjoon wouldn’t dare to see himself exempt from it. He, too was raised this way. What he promised you instead was to understand it, and resist it, even if chances of winning were so small. The only hope was that you would be more in his eyes. He tries to see further, he says, and that comforts. Instagram needs to slow the hell down. Namjoon doesn’t want to measure you against someone else and make you feel pressure to be a certain way just to be pleased by your looks. 

⟼ Jungkook

“Maybe I’m average. Just not pretty. And skinny, and—” That just won’t get into his head no matter how hard he tries. How could you not think you’re beautiful given that he chose you. To spend time with, to play games and bicker, to enjoy tasty food whenever. Even if it was just some ramen to slurp away at with too much spice in it and fewer noodles than the packaging had promised. You were the person whose ginormous backpack JK would always offer to carry for a mile even if his own was 33 lbs heavy already, just so your injured shoulder won’t act up again after the bike accident last year. In his gym logic, especially since your shoulder muscles are good-looking and deserve this rest (that’s how he thinks don’t look at me strange okay). How could you not see it? Jungkook thought it to be a hopeless cause even singing cheesy songs at karaoke could not fix. So the last resort it has to be and that is cooking you buckets of kimchi and noodles and fried rice and vegetables and dumplings and a gold-encrusted, sparkling rice cake dessert. That good stuff. Jin even drops by to give him some ingredients. You won’t go to bed hungry and moody with that diet bs. He’ll make sure that next day you literally have to roll out of bed because the meal was so good and ample, forget skeleton skinny, you eat your pancakes and Japchae as prepared by chef JK and don’t look back because love very well starts in the stomach. Yes, and indeed: Self-love, too.  

[masterlist]

#bts scenarios #bts reactions #bangtan fluff #bts fluff #bangtan angst #bts angst #bts x reader #bts reader insert #bts imagines #bts as boyfriends #sub!bts #bts hurt and comfort #x reader #hurt and comfort #bts #bangtan

[blakelywintersfield]

what do you think about cancel culture?

So it took me a while to answer this ask ‘cause I have... a lot to say about the subject.

There’s a lot to unpack when it comes to cancel culture. Its roots I like to believe are well intended -- a means to alert vulnerable groups about individuals that have a history of hurting them. But people have taken it... way too far.

I think it’s important to hold people accountable for their actions. There’s a lot of people who get away with horrible things, simply because they produce likeable material (makeup, music, movies, entertainment, etc.). People like Jeffree Star, PewDiePie, and Kat Von D have gotten away with their horrific treatment of others for years because people enjoy their content -- and two out of three of them still are wildly successful. What pushes people over the limit? Often times it’s a matter of what white people take major issue in. In Kat’s case, being anti-vax. Is being anti-vax bad? Hell yeah it is. As someone who’s immuno-compromised it literally could lead to an early, painful, slow death for me. And don’t get me wrong, I wanna die, but not from something that takes months of suffering. But people blatantly ignored her other awful acts -- such as her antisemitic actions (telling her former boss to “burn in hell jewbag” (sic) in the form of writing on a photo she left for him and drawing a Nazi symbol on it), complacency in victim blaming (her neo-Nazi husband blames his daughter’s rape on his daughter), denying and viciously responding to criticisms about her pedophilic makeup names (”Underage Red”, “Lolita”, second not in reference to the Japanese style but the book), and actively killing her pets (she killed one cat by leaving a house full of burning candles -- cat knocked down the candles, house went up in flames, cat died; she also was found forcing a vegan diet onto her cats -- I’m unsure if this has continued but I believe one of her cats died from it). All of these are huge reasons to “cancel” her -- to boycott her products. But people didn’t actively hate her until she came out as anti-vax, something that effects the majority. And that’s part of the issue with cancel culture: people pick and choose what’s acceptable depending on how badly it effects them personally.

Let’s focus on the other two mentioned: Jeffree and Felix. Jeffree has a very, very, veryyyyy long past of being a racist piece of shit. Not even lowkey ignorant white person racist (i.e. ”I didn’t know making fun of AAE and viewing dreadlocks as trashy was racist”). I’m talking straight up using the n-slur, with the hard -er too, towards a black woman. And this was recent, too. There just haven’t been any physical references beforehand, only personal accounts. But people have defended him -- and still defend him -- on these actions, because he apologized. But then he’ll do it again a month later. And there’ll be definitive proof of it. He’ll keep doing it over, and over, and over again. And people will continue to excuse him because he keeps apologizing! That’s not how apologies work! As someone who’s been abused, apologies mean nothing if you don’t actively work on fixing what you’re apologizing for!! My abusers would apologize and then do the exact same thing again so many times that I lost count long ago! And of course, Shane Dawson hasn’t helped because he’s head over heels for the guy, so he’s been using his popularity to try and clear his name -- which is ironic, considering he’s been under fire for being racist in the past too. The only difference is he actually cleaned his act up, until now, of course. Because now, instead of creating racist content himself, he’s defending a chronically racist shitbag. And people continue to defend him, because his shitty actions effects mainly black women -- a minority in comparison to the amount of white people in the states. Jeffree continues to be wildly successful because his problematic behavior only effects a minority, and that’s... not okay.

Felix has a very similar history to Jeffree, but with antisemitism, and in my opinion he’s even worse because he’ll apologize then do something nice like donate to a charity. And that would be fantastic if he wouldn’t continue to do antisemitic things like actively support white supremacists. People continue to defend him because he does charitable things, but I constantly remind people that abusive people aren’t abusive 24/7 -- that’s literally how they get away with abuse. They abuse, then take you out for a fancy date, kiss you gently and tell you how beautiful you are. Then they do something abusive. It’s an endless cycle. And that’s honestly what Felix does. Apologize, do something really fucking nice, and then repeat his shitty action. And he has other extremely influential people defend him -- it’s why I had to stop following JackSepticEye and Markiplier. They continuously vouched for him. They continuously defended him. And they did it in the form of saying “he’s a really good person, I know him personally, he’s really fucking sweet and nice”. That’s what people say about the partner of someone really close to me! Their friends defend them all the time, but they’ve never seen how they treat my friend. They don’t know about how they are in a relationship. And that’s all we ever hear about abusers. No one wants to accept that their longtime friend is shitty. But Mark and Sean contribute to the toxic ideology of “defend your friends to the end”. And it disenfranchises those effected because 1) they’re not Jewish, they have absolutely no say in the matter, and 2) they’re abusing their popularity to keep their friend from being properly criticized. I don’t think either of them are shitty people, per se, but they’re being extremely toxic by not letting their friend see that they’re a repeat offender and need to either work on their shit or face the music. Mark and Sean both have the power to make Felix change if they just give him the ultimatum of “us or this”.

But I digress. The main issue highlighted here is that people who actually do bad things and continue to do bad things aren’t being held accountable because people don’t care to acknowledge what doesn’t directly effect them. This is the first main issue with cancel culture.

Let’s focus on another man under scrutiny: John Lennon. Now, let me put out there for disclaimer purposes that this man is far from perfect and has problematic parts to him as well. He’s done some shitty things. But cancel culture looooooooves to dig at this man. To put it crudely, they really enjoy beating this dead... man. And mainly over one really bad thing he did, which was hit his wife. However, people love to 1) over-exaggerate it, and 2) completely ignore how he handled the aftermath. Cancel culture often refers to him as a “wife beater”, as though this were a chronic habit or that he severely brutalized his wife. But they conveniently ignore that he apologized, both to her and publicly, taught himself about domestic abuse and spoke up for women’s rights, and even wrote multiple songs about how he fucked up and he shouldn’t be excuse for what he did. And, most importantly, his wife forgave him. The victim in this situation forgave him, and people still dig into this one thing and use it as their reason to hate him and his band to this day. Genuine criticism of him and what he’s done have gone to the wayside because of this one fact with no context, and it’s a huge phenomena because people, for whatever reason, love to hate popular things. Like I said, he’s done shitty things! He wasn’t perfect! But to use one issue that was literally resolved to hate him is just a lazy excuse to hate what’s popular, and that comes to our second issue with cancel culture: people want to hate what’s popular and will go to any lengths to excuse their hatred, even if issues that have been resolved.

The last main issue I have is that cancel culture is often set up in very black and white terms. Person does bad thing, they’re bad, end of discussion. But that’s... not how life works. Not at all. I know religion isn’t universal, especially Christianity, but there’s one point in Christianity that is universal: humans are flawed. No human being to have ever existed is perfect. And with the rise of technology and social media, a lot of mistakes have a permanent proof out there. Be it through tweets, tumblr or Facebook posts, Instagram or Snapchat stories, whatever it is, there is proof. And people like to take it way too far.

For example... well, I’ll use myself. There’s good things to not being tumblr famous, and I’m blessed with that, because I used to be a major shithead. Well. Okay, I still am, but I was bigoted, uninformed, and had a lot of internalized issues. For anyone that doesn’t know, I was raised in a conservative Christian household where my father was Southern Baptist and my mother had been raised Catholic (her personal religious views are much more lax though, thankfully). Both came from small towns in Illinois and Missouri respectively, and their parents, the same. I was aggressively homophobic and transphobic (ironic, eh?), covertly racist and sexist, and just overall a really shitty person. And while I didn’t join tumblr until after I’d finally started to grow, a lot of people on here are younger -- some even lying about their age and joining before they’re 13. And like me, many of these kids are in close-minded households. And for the longest time I refused to listen to other people because of the good ol’ backfire effect, but once I began to accept I was wrong, I learned. Of course I still have learning to do -- I always do. I always will. And that’s okay. But if I were 12 year old me on tumblr today, I would, well. I would’ve probably killed myself by now, because of all the bullying and hate for being a shithead child. A shithead, yes. But a child. Someone that’s going to be ignorant to a lot of things because they haven’t been alive for as long. And not everyone has informed parents that make it a point to teach them. Adults are a little harder to forgive, I’ll admit, but children have a lot more potential to learn and grow, and we often treat them just like adults.

The final issue with cancel culture is that it gives no room for improvement and no assumption of someone’s innocence. While it hurts to be on the victim end, we as a whole are obligated to correct the issue. I personally would like it to be those not effected doing that (i.e. someone making a transphobic comment having other cis people explain why it’s transphobic and isn’t okay), but regardless, we need to assume innocent until guilty with these kinds of things. It’s not easy, sure, but if I had been on tumblr while I was a shitty kid parroting my dad’s awful world views, cancel culture would’ve labeled me a piece of shit with no chance of redemption, and if I didn’t kill myself there’s no fucking way in hell I would’ve learned, because that kind of treatment would’ve stuck with me and made it harder for me to listen to the other side’s reasoning, even if they were right. We need to approach people in a manner of calm education, instead of ready to kill. In no way am I saying this is an easy thing to do, but unless they’ve refused to open themselves up in any way whatsoever, immediately chalking someone up as a lost cause is just... counter-productive. We have to acknowledge that people are flawed, and can learn and grow. We need to give people space to improve. It’s not all or nothing.

All in all, cancel culture has a good base, but its execution has become irrational and a means to justify hating those that really don’t deserve it, while turning a blind eye to those that actually are problematic. There’s a lot to be improved on.

#ask #long post #cancel culture #this is not an invite for discouse on anyone mentioned in this post #seriously i don't want to hear it #especially felix stans #Anonymous

[qforqazaq]

Black Dial: The Drama

You've probably heard the latest news from the Q-pop world: L and Teddy are no longer in Black Dial.

Hmm, where shall I start?

***Disclaimer: For the convenience of the foreign fans who aren't sure what has actually happened, I tried to recreate the sequence of events to get some exposition first. I've missed some details here and there, because this was already getting too long.***

It all began when the producers of YB Entertainment posted the announcement saying that the official Instagram accounts of L, Teddy, Ray and Black Dial were hacked, so from now on everything that's going to be posted on those pages has nothing to do with YB. "Okay, the pages got hacked, whatever, it happens, no big deal", I thought. BUT! After awhile I've noticed (first ever) IG stories posted on L's and Teddy's accounts with the actual L and Teddy recording each other while giddily saying something like "Did you know that we were hacked?" - "Lol, no, did we?" - "Yeah, they say we were hacked. I am hacked, you are hacked, comeback is hacked too, hahaha".

Obviously, everyone got even more confused, like, why the hell would the producers call the accounts hacked if they were obviously not. I mean those were real L and Teddy, right?

Meanwhile, I started to read some comments about L and Teddy and something about leaving the group, which got me a huge "Wait WHAT. WTF??? Are you bloody kidding me??" moment.

I obviously couldn't believe my eyes, because, what the hell, first Newton, now Black Dial, are you for real?? When I was about to start doubting these rumours while frantically looking for more info, there came interviews from the official press conference by YB Entertainment.

There, Yesbolat Bedelkhan with Bayan and Bota Yerimbet have formally announced that Yeskeldi Quandyq, formerly known as L, and Samat Kazmaganbet, formerly known as Teddy, were no longer the members of Black Dial, that the company had terminated their contracts, the main reason being consistent violation of the contractual terms by the former members. Moreover, according to the producers, the stage names "L" and "Teddy" and all the social media accounts belong to YB Entertainment and they cannot be used by the members should the contract be terminated.

To say I was shocked is to say nothing. Because, apparently, L and Teddy have not just left the group - they were kicked out. Not only that, they basically kicked themselves out by consistently showing insubordination, disobedience, and violation of terms in many occasions. Without feeling much remorse about it too, it seems, as they didn't look very sad on those Instagram stories - that's for sure.

To make the matter worse, they had no rights to use those Instagram accounts anymore, which explained the earlier announcement about "hacking".

Frankly, that was a lot to take in, and while I was desperately trying to make sense out of whatever was happening out there, all hell let loose. Interestingly - on the producers. Because a horde or rather a flock of angry fangirls or "Ravens" started to shout accusations at the producers, blaming them in all deadly sins. According to them, it was all producers' fault, because they intentionally kicked their "biases" out; how did they dare to be so unfairly strict with them; they were shitty producers in the first place; they should have made their comeback sooner instead of postponing it; the whole "hacking" incident was made to sabotage the members' reputations, and their beloved L and Teddy did the right thing leaving this horrible company.

As for me, these accusations sounded too heated and not very convincing especially when I took a step back and started to actually think about it.

Well, let's break it down, shall we?

First of all, the question of fairness seems super childish, because we're talking about actual legal binding contracts, not some sandbox tantrums that can be resolved by shoving lollipops in kids' mouths. If one signed a contract, it is assumed that both of the parties were aware of and agreed to all of the terms in the first place. In other words, if you in a sober mind signed a legal document, complaining about stuff that you can't eventually commit to afterwards won't work. Why the hell one would even sign a contract in the first place then?

Secondly, do you really think the contract was that strict? Okay, stricter than, idk, a contract signed by the guys from 91? I do very much doubt it. I'm more than sure Yerbolat isn't that chill and understanding compared to his younger brother.

Thirdly, Black Dial is the only active project of YB Entertainment (Darrem doesn't really count) aka literally the company's only flagship product that was supposed to get its long-awaited comeback. Think about it: who the hell in their right minds, in such a crucial moment, would kick out members from the only existing group without a legitimate reason? No one. And there was one reason, a few actually, wasn't there? Moreover, according to Yesbolat Bedelkhan, they've tried very hard to keep the group intact, to smooth out those cases of disobedience and insubordination, closing their eyes to most of them. But I guess, the situation got completely out of control, so terminating the contracts was the last resort.

Fourthly, haven't you thought that the comeback was being postponed over the course of, what, 9 months? exactly because of the internal problems and conflicts inside BD and YB? What if the producers weren't sure if they could proceed should have the said members continued to "misbehave". Which they apparently did, so better cut ties earlier than later, with only one MV, and one more released song.

Next, the "hacking" incident. According to Yesbolat Bedelkhan, sometime around February 14, when BD was supposed to record a video to mark the date, L and Teddy have completely disappeared from radar, not answering anyone's calls and/or messages. The producers even tried to reach their parents at some point, to ask if everything was alright with the boys. Strangely, the parents were not reachable as well, because apparently they have changed their contacts too. Later, the producers discovered that they couldn't access official IG accounts of L, Teddy, Ray and Black Dial, because someone changed their passwords. I suppose it was then they guessed it was L and Teddy's doings, which I assume was the final blow.

Finally, Yesbolat believes that someone from outside have persuaded the boys to sabotage their own places at YB Entertainment. A certain someone with a personal grudge against YB producers. I have my guesses and I won't be surprised if this someone will collaborate with those two at some point in the future too.

Show business sucks, doesn't it.

_________________________________

Don't get me wrong, by making a case for YB Entertainment, I don't want to imply that Yeskeldi and Samat are inherently bad people or anything. Okay, I must admit I had my problems with Teddy and tbh wasn't very sad to know he has left the group (yeah, I'm crude), but I did respect L very much, coming to admire his capacity for songwriting when I took on that challenge at translating their songs (Bul Soni Yemes is a lyrical masterpiece. Period.), regarding him as a very thoughtful young man. Despite personal preferences, I didn't want anyone to leave the group in any circumstances, always hoping and betting on them to settle at least on the second place in Q-pop.

In other words, waking up to a news like this has brought me no pleasure. Further unfolding only left a bitter taste in the mouth and the feeling that you were viciously played.

However, I do still think that it was, pardon my French, totally a dick move to leave everyone and everything just like that, without a decent explanation, a formal apology to the fans at the very least. Leaving by making a public drama out of it, while openly gloating in the social media, abandoning the company, the producers and the other members who counted on them so much.

Was it fair? I think not.

I do wish them luck in whatever they're planning to do though, just to see if it was actually worth the drama, huh.

And I do certainly wish the best of luck to YB Entertainment, to the producers and the remaining vocalists in remedying the whole situation, so to speak.

And what now? Yes, YB is having their casting in search for their new rappers and everything, but what does it tell about the whole "Q-pop movement"?

It's impaled, sick and haven't even grown out legs to stand upright and move properly. People are leaving the groups whenever they want, groups changing the label companies however they want, the entertainment centres are opening and closing at flick of the fingers, and we only have about eh.. 3.5 groups who are actually doing something now? With Black Dial on the resting bed, those would be Ninety One, Mad Men, Moonlight and sort of Newton~. Considering that I'm already very cautious with the latter, skeptical with the second, and Moonlight just doesn't excite me very much, we're coming to the default settings of just clinging to the founders for now while just observing everyone else from the distance.

Nice.

What do you think though? What was the reason for BD having so many problems with its former rappers?

Is Q-pop actually going to crumble to pieces even before it becomes anything substantial?

Feel free to comment and share, and please do leave a like at least. I've been writing this for ages after all.

[broodpeas]

27.08

on monday, in one of my classes, there was someone saying that indigenous communities modernize when they use cellphones. then they seemed to imply that when elders die nothing is really lost if that information is saved up in a cloud or a phone. then someone else talked about massacres and how those affect mostly indigenous communities. this is all racism, but no one really sees it as racism because people tend to believe that racism is saying negroes are ugly, which yes, is racist, but when you say afros are messy you’re saying negroes are ugly, but with other words. 

racism, as an institution, a sign, a way of living, an identity and ultimately as a characteristic of societies is different in colombia, as is in almost all countries of latin america. the realization of this is hard because we are too glued to the US and what’s happening there and most people do not tend to see history as a sort of mix of all sorts of ingredients, but like fixated pillars that do not touch. in the past month, i’ve lost count in how many massacres have happened: one in valle del cauca, another in nariño, one in cauca, another in montes de maría...it seems that selective killing is no longer effective: the quarantine proved to be an useful tool to effectively control people and where they come and go and the killing became less specific and much more vicious (we haven’t seen this viciousness since 2005? 2007?). the massacres are, of course, link to political reasons, but they are also linked to racism and the understanding -or lack of, if you’re in my political spectrum- on how your skin effectively helps to determine, in many cases, how far in life you can go and to what spaces and opportunities you can access; not to mention what is even more terrifying: how far you can live safely (how do you say this in english correctly? how old you can get maybe? it is not so much of matter of age, but a matter of how many generations it takes to understand and deals with the trauma that lives in our DNA, as violence is part our inheritance).

one killing happened when a man, who was 60 something, went outside and armed men showed up and forced his family to stay inside him while the old man was killed right there. his skin was dark. 6 black kids were tortured, in circumstances that media have happily managed to describe in details, without taking in consideration that the boys were children, with people who loved them dearly, and whose futures were more than to be part of an statistics or an instagram post. the bodies keep showing up, piling up, they receive numbers and they become an addition to a reality that haunts many of us who are brown, whose great grandparents chose to flee to find a better life and who found white people to mix up in order to make sure us, their descendants, weren’t so dark so to not suffer more. the way others speak of those lost lives is another thing that makes me wonder how much deep can a hatred be and how you can exist, and love, and laugh, and say you are capable of good things when you hate so much. it is a horror i can’t understand, and i don’t think i’m willing to. what for? will it change anything? 

on the same class, last tuesday, i said that the difference is necessary for a healthy society, only to later realize that people can be on different political spectrum, bust most of times, people who think differently than me rarely take into account what humanity means. the difference is okay until it means tolerating the fact some people want to see others dead because gender is a reality and they prefer it wasn’t, because some smoke weed and they’d prefer they wouldn’t be so vocal about it, and some actually think the handmaid’s tale is a great fictional book and that could never, ever happen (it does, it’s happening now in a lot of countries, look it up). 

i wish i could find more articulate words for this, but this is a start, a random start. since i’m getting back on the writing horse, i hope soon i can write better essays. i am concerned, really anguish by what’s happening and how easy it is to lose yourself in the anger and the despair of it all. i keep asking myself how much can we bear, and the answer is the same: so much more. 

[courageouslystupid]

In The Wrong Hands Part 2 (Reggie Mantle x Reader)

Okay so here is part 2 of In the wrong hands reggie mantle imagine. Hopefully everyone enjoys this part as much as they did the first and I am so grateful to all of the positive feedback that I am getting from everyone and will be open to any requests that you have for me.

PART TWO

Shocked you stood up and looked at the furious Cheryl with wide eyes, trying to think a reason as to why they would be sitting like that for a “biology project”, you tried but nothing came to mind. Your heart was beating rapidly and you couldn’t think of anything else besides that maybe the flirtatious interaction earlier that day was not just a one-sided thing. Maybe Reggie wasn’t as faithful as you thought…

Sitting back down you placed your hands on your head still trying to think of something, anything that didn’t come to the conclusion that Reggie was possibly cheating on you. You heard Cheryl huff and then the faintest tapping sound of her nails dialing a number. Looking up once again you saw fire in Cheryl’s eyes and you knew that she was going to go off. She shot you a pleading look for you not to stop her and then you heard the gruff voice on the other end of the phone.

“Why the hell is Veronica Lodge sitting all cozy on your lap in this Instagram post?” Cheryl said with an eerily calm tone to her voice. You couldn’t hear what was being said on the other end but you hoped that it was Reggie explaining that it was all a misunderstanding and that it wasn’t his idea.

“I hope you can explain everything to Y/N because to me it looks like you are cheating on her and you better pray to god that that isn’t true.” Cheryl’s voice was sweet again before she hung up on Reggie.

“It looks like we might have to train the girls a little harder at practice tomorrow, especially Miss. Veronica Lodge.” She said turning to look at you, a devilish smile ghosting her lips, sighing you gestured for the two of you to leave. You decided that you would talk to Reggie tomorrow, the anxiety of today had exhausted you too much and you just wanted to be home.

Once you were home you prayed to anybody that tomorrow was going to be better before you let your blankets devour you in their warmth. Tomorrow would be better...

That next morning you woke up to multiple texts from Reggie apologizing and trying to explain what had happened.

Babe, please answer me. I swear there’s nothing going on between me and veronica…

Y/N???

Please baby I love you so much. Honest to god nothing has happened and nothing will happen. I only have my eyes on you.

The frantic texts had calmed your aching heart and you replied that the two of you would talk today and that you loved him too. You were still nervous about having such a discussion but you trusted Reggie.

You were headed for your front door when you heard honking from what you assumed was Cheryl Blossom’s cherry red 1961 Chevrolet Impala. Slipping on your shoes you rushed out to see Cheryl cranking up her music and honking impatiently for you to hurry up. Giggling you ran towards the car and the two of you sped off to school. Thoughts of Reggie and Veronica had faded away and your brain was bursting with the new cheer choreography that Cheryl was chattering on about.

The school parking lot came quickly into view and you scanned the cars to see where Reggie might be, you spotted him standing around with Moose and some other jocks. Smiling you were just about to get out of Cheryl’s car to hug him… but without warning he was tackled into a hug by none other than Veronica Lodge. Paralyzed, you couldn’t move a muscle, your mouth was agape as you watched the scene unfold.

Veronica pulling away from Reggie, Veronica leaning up and grabbing a handful of his hair and finally Veronica smashing her red lips onto his. When she pulled away there was red lipstick staining Reggie’s lips. Your heart lurched into your throat and you could not look away. Cheryl had already slammed her car door and marched over to the scene, her red hair billowing behind her as if they were the flames to the fire that was burning in her eyes. She yanked the dark haired beauty off of Reggie and was undeniably cussing her out but you didn’t hear a thing she said, your brain was unable to process the event that had unfolded before you.

You looked into Reggie’s eyes and found his apologetic gaze looking back at you. He broke away from the group that had formed around him and rushed towards Cheryl’s car, lips still stained red. You hadn’t realized it but your eyes had let a flood loose, Reggie’s hand touched your tear-stained cheek, apologizing profusely.

“Y/N I don’t know why she did that.” Reggie’s words snapped you out of your daze.

“ Why would she do that if there was nothing between you two Reggie? What about that Instagram post yesterday? That obviously was not just a misunderstanding, a girl wouldn’t kiss a guy or sit in his lap like that if nothing was going on. So why don’t you tell me the truth. What is going on Reggie?” You fired off questions viciously as more tears streamed down your face. Reggie was left speechless unable to explain his side.

Getting out of the car you stormed your way over to the still flaming Cheryl and dragged her into the school and to the girls locker room, not wanting anyone else to see the continuation of your emotional turmoil.

Okay so I know I am going to have to do a part 3 and I am pretty good with cliffhangers but I started getting a really bad headache while i was finishing up this part and will be writing and uploading more when I dont have a headache ! thank you to everyone for all of your support and if you want to be tagged in any other upcoming parts please do not hesitate to let me know!

TAGGED

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@pheonix143

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#riverdale #riverdale strong #reggie mantle #mantle the magnificent #reggie mantle x reader #reggie mantle imagine #imagine #imagines #riverdale imagine #riverdale trash #shit #cheryl blossom #reader

[bookloversreviewer]

“Whoa. Undeniable is one of my top reads! Sizzling chemistry, off the charts sexual tension and all the feels I’ve come to expect with a Melanie Harlow romance!”- Ilsa Madden-Mills, Wall Street Journal bestselling author

Undeniable, an all-new sexy standalone second chance romance from USA Today bestselling author Melanie Harlow, is available now!

When we were eleven, Oliver Ford Pemberton dared me to jump off a barn roof. He said you couldn’t break a leg from a 12-foot-jump.

He lied.

(You can also break a collarbone, which served him right as far as I was concerned.)

I wish I could say it was the last dare I ever took from him, the last bet I ever made with him, the last time I ever trusted Oliver Ford Pemberton.

But it wasn’t.

Because he had the nerve to grow up gorgeous, charming, and sexy. And as we got older, the dares only got dirtier—and the betting stakes higher—until finally, he left me in pieces. I swore I’d never talk to him again.

But twenty years after I took that flying leap, he’s back in my life, daring me to risk everything for him: my job, my self-worth, and my heart.

How many chances does true love deserve?

Download your copy today or read FREE in Kindle Unlimited!

Amazon: https://amzn.to/2EjE51C

Amazon Worldwide: http://mybook.to/UndeniableMH

Amazon Paperback: https://amzn.to/2VKluH2

Add to GoodReads: http://bit.ly/2DEajVf

Excerpt:

Fueled by pent-up lust and scotch, we stumbled into Oliver’s room and tore at each other’s clothes. It was hot and rough and a little bit violent, as if we were furious we hadn’t been able to keep our hands to ourselves and wanted to take it out on one another’s bodies. We pushed and pulled and growled and grasped. We called each other names and cursed viciously. We knocked over a lamp and ripped Oliver’s shirt.

When we finally exploded together, Oliver had me up against the door, and if our yelling didn’t wake the entire floor, then the pounding must have. I’d have bruises for days.

Afterward, we collapsed on the bed, naked and sweaty and exhausted.

“Oh my God,” I said. “I can’t believe we did that.”

“I know. Me either.”

“I think I pulled a muscle.”

“I think you bit me. Am I bleeding?”

I laughed. “No, but I hope you’re not seeing anyone. If you are, she’s going to wonder about all those scratches on your back.”

“I’m not seeing anyone.” He paused. “Are you?”

“No.”

Neither of us moved for several minutes. When I caught myself falling asleep, I sat up. “I should go.”

“Why? Just stay here.”

I looked down at him. “You want me to stay?”

“Yeah.” He opened his eyes. In the low light, they almost looked black instead of blue. “Spend the night with me.”

I waited for it—the dirty joke, the excuse, the subtle dig—the reason he’d toss out for asking me to stay. It couldn’t just be that he wanted me here.

But he didn’t say anything more. He just reached out and covered my hand with his.

I looked at our hands for a moment, and a thousand memories came rushing back. Some good, some bad, but all us. I felt close to him, and I didn’t want to leave. “Okay. I’ll stay.”

“Good.” He took off his watch and put it on the nightstand.

About Melanie

Melanie Harlow likes her martinis dry, her heels high, and her history with the naughty bits left in. When she's not writing or reading, she gets her kicks from TV series like VEEP, Game of Thrones, Succession, and Homeland. She occasionally runs three miles, but only so she can have more gin and steak.

Melanie is the author of the ONE & ONLY series, the AFTER WE FALL series, the HAPPY CRAZY LOVE series, the FRENCHED series, and the sexy historical SPEAK EASY duet, set in the 1920s. She lifts her glass to romance readers and writers from her home near Detroit, MI, where she lives with her husband, two daughters, and pet rabbit.

Connect with Melanie

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorMelanieHarlow/?fref=ts

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[theforgottengn]

Okay I actually want to know this. What does HERACLES stand for? What is the point of its existence? Is it funded? How are people picked to join? I want to know. I understand if spoilers spoil things.

LET’S BREAK THIS DOWN…

What Does H.E.R.A.C.L.E.S. Stand For?

In all honesty I’ve been dreading this exact question for one reason and one reason only… I’m an idiot and forgot to write all that down when I came up with the acronym and thus have forgotten it. I do remember that the second E stood for EFFECTIVE & that the S stood for SPY. So right now the acronym reads…

TheSomethingSomethingSomethingSomethingSomethingSomethingEffectiveSpyInitiative

Which will eventually be changed when I come up with, or remember what, the other letters stand for. And hopefully it’s not anything stupid.

What’s Its Purpose?

This kinda depends on who you ask…

You might just get a “That’s classified information, sir/m'am, need to know basis only” as a non-answer.

An agent wouldn’t tell you. They’re not stupid. They’d probably answer that with a question. Or any sort of topic-changing comment.

A handler would tell you something like “intelligence gathering, counter-intelligence, threat detection and threat elimination.” Or any sort of non-answer.

Anyone higher than a handler you’d get that “classified” non-answer.

If you ask me…

Well, I mean, you probably were aiming the ask at me in the first place. Anyway. The real purpose of HERACLES is to gather intelligence on and then eliminate any/all threats to the United States and it’s allies. (Which means that some missions come from other world leaders and stuff.) Sometimes that includes counter-intelligence measures. Sometimes it’s just a good ol’ assassination. Sometimes it’s stopping a threat before it becomes a threat. Stopping the thought of one so to speak.

Is It Funded?

Yep. It’s a section of the military branch of the U.S. govt so yeah it’s definitely funded. But it’s given more money than other things that are federally funded.

How Are People Picked?

Okay this is kinda spoilery but kinda not, and besides nobody else is interested in this piece of shit so, I’ll answer this anyway.

There’s this alternative prison sentence program thing which was put in place for people of power. Singers, business moguls, decorated servicemen, actors, Instagram stars, etc. etc. Literally anyone you could think of who could have some sort of power in modern day America. If some person of power did something wrong they wouldn’t have to serve their sentence if they so chose. But it has to be something pretty big.

Simple things like tax evasion or petty theft are excluded.

Instead of serving their sentence a random U.S. citizen would be charged with their crime. Charged fully and given the maximum sentence with no possibility of parole. This person would go to jail or a max sec prison or what have you instead of said celebrity.

Or so the person would be told…

In reality the HERACLES Initiative people, whom conduct all the interviews & investigation once the person claims their right to waive their sentence, take the person’s kid. And then said kid gets put into the HERACLES Initiative trainee program. (Side note: all of this is a lot easier to do with army personnel and/or govt employees.)

Step One: Be a person of power.Step Two: Have a kid.Step Three: Viciously break the law.Step Four: Invoke right to waive.Step Five: Say yes & nod.

You’re Home Free!

And that’s about all the explanation I can think of.

#you're the only one #who cares about this and i love you for it #thanks for the ask! #answered asks #answered ask #the forgotten #background stuff #heracles initiative stuff #voiceoflarka

[3one3]

The Sequel - 794

The 10 Commandments

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea/BVB players, and random awesome OC’s

(okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

original epic tale

all chapters of The Sequel

“Where are you on the 26th of this month?”

“What kind of day is that?”

“Sunday. We play Saturday and then not again until the next Monday. I’m going to the house for a few days.”

“I’m in Gothenburg that day, but I come home that night I think.”

“Fly down to me.”

I probably could. I’m gonna be in G-Burg for 6 days. I’ll need a break after that, Christina reckoned as she considered Juan’s invitation to Mallorca. Schü has his Cup quarterfinal midweek away at some tiny club I’ve never heard of, so there’s no point in going to Dortmund, and I’m taking all the horses with me so it’s not like I’ll have any desperately in need of my attention when I get back. I would give them at least a day off anyway. I guess I- ugh. Mmmyeah. Bless him.

The Spanish footballer had something working in his favor when he issued the invite to his beach house- his fingers working in her vagina. All that mushy-inside love about André’s Instagram post wasn’t enough to prevent his wife from getting viciously turned on by his ex-teammate when said other player rubbed her tummy and talked to her about how seeing one of her bras hanging from her bathroom door handle made him think about the sort of smug satisfaction he used to feel upon seeing one hanging from something in his house in Manchester, or just seeing her hairbrush on the dresser. He said all of her things- especially ones she forgot to take with her when she wasn’t there- reminded him of fucking her, and were somehow sexy to him. Juan obviously had an agenda in mind when he said those things, because they both knew if he were going to speak about how her personal belongings made him feel when they were a couple for any reason but to turn her on, he would have done so much differently. He would have been wary of letting her believe he thought of her only as a sex object, like a toy he got to play with on weekends. If he wished to strike an emotional chord, there were better strategies. And to be sure, emotions weren’t on her mind when his fingertips moved from “teasing” territory to “rewarding” real estate- only sensations.

“Why should I?” the coy rider questioned when the heightened sensation of his two fingers in a particular spot faded with the repetition of their action and allowed her brain to focus on something else. “Because you want to find nirvana between my legs for days at a time?” she joked, referencing the earlier conversation on the Wikipedia article.

“I was thinking more like to read together, and make a fire outside, try some restaurants. Breakfast in bed...”

“Yeah? Who is going to be making this breakfast and bringing it to bed?” Christina smiled at the boy beside her.

“Well, to be fair, you probably.”

“Can you stop that for a second so I can take my undies off?” She nodded in the direction of the foot of the bed, and Juan carefully withdrew his fingers from inside her and his right hand from inside her Calvins. The middle finger went directly into his mouth for cleaning, followed by the pointer.

An unusual compulsion struck his ex while she tried to remove her underwear without disturbing the two dogs sleeping under the satin quilt. She remembered the way he reacted that night she was supposed to do a striptease for him and André and sucked on one of his fingers, and she wanted to do it again. Normally she hated when guys touched her mouth, and she definitely didn’t like the subjugation stigma she felt was attached to a girl sucking a guy’s finger, and she definitely hated tasting herself unless it was absolutely necessary as part of a seduction act. Her quick read earlier about the history of oral sex and the different views on it of different cultures sort of lingered in the back of her mind as testimony that sexual acts don’t have to be about control or power. To some people they were, but others viewed them completely differently. If she wanted to suck on her lover’s finger it could just be about her wanting to do it- wanting to turn him on in a different way- instead of some servile thing, the way she always thought of all categories of contact between a male finger and a female mouth. So she lifted his right hand off her thigh and folded all but the middle digit down so she could guide that one into her mouth, and she watched the player’s face while she did so. Juan was dubious before her intentions were clear, and then curious, and finally, relaxed. He even wiggled his finger back and forth across her tongue a little while caught in the delicate hold of her lips. Christina found it interesting that his eyes watched what her lips did instead of meeting her blues. That ruined it a little for her. She wanted that moment of eye contact.

“I need to go put these somewhere or the puppies will wait until I’m not paying attention and steal them,” she said about her Calvin cotton once she released the still salty middle finger. The same saltiness was what would have lured the terriers to her underwear. In homage to the bra on the door story, the rider hung them on the dressing room door handle and stopped on the way back to bed to light the two candles on the closer nightstand- André’s, really- and turn the reading lamp off. Her lighter was right there anyway, and after a certain hour it never felt right to her to have lights on. Often, since getting in the habit of sleeping alone, she lit the tall off white candles just so that there was enough light in the room to not let watching TV hurt her eyes.

“You always keep me up so late, baby girl,” the footballer yawned while she got back under the blanket, mindful of Spencer and Lucky who had moved together in her absence.

“Is that a complaint? Are you complaining?”

“No. I’m yawning. Do you want me to turn the TV off?” The Chelsea midfielder held up the remote and couldn’t stop yawning.

“I don’t care.” Christina got comfy on her back with a giant pillow for her head and shoulders. Juan pushed the button to turn off whatever had been on, and the room got much quieter and darker. She just watched him. Her mind was very blank, and that was a blessing. Gone were her struggles to figure out if she wanted romance from him or just sex, or what it meant if it was one or the other.

“You look sleepy too.”

“I am. Make love to me though.”

“But I’m tired and you’re all the way over there.”

“Move the 6 inches over this way. We can have lazy people spoon sex.”

“You just don’t want to have to do anything.” He scolded her in the most warm and tender way possible because he didn’t mean it all, and did move over closer.

“I just want to be in your secretly ripped arms,” she giggled back while turning on her side as he reached for her. “Hold me and touch me and kiss me and rub your dick against my butt until it’s hard and then make love to me until we cum together and then keep holding me until I say you can let go.”

“You are like the bossiest angel ever. Aren’t angels supposed to look after others?”

“I’m going to do something even better for you.”

“What’s that?” Juan asked at the same time he slid those familiar fingers back between her legs. He was still trying to find a comfortable way to get his other arm under her. And he was well entrenched in that young and sweet “boyfriend” voice she found as comforting and pleasant on her ears as his sleepy and quiet “partner” tone. Those were the two versions of innocent pillow talk he had to offer. It definitely wasn’t a so-not-innocent pillow talk kind of night.

“I’m going to tell you something,” she replied. “Come closer,” she urged. Her affectionate little girl voice was in employ too.

“I’m right here, baby girl,” he said quietly once he rested his cheek atop hers.

“I like coming home to you.”

“How do you mean?”

“You’re what makes here home now.” I can say that, Christina reasoned. I can say that and it’s still fair, because Schü is home-home. Being with him is being home, but London is still home a lot of the time and it only actually feels like home when being in London is being with Juan. Otherwise...the house, the barn...they’re not what makes this still feel like home. He is. People are home, not places. He’s my home here. “This place- London- coming back here- doesn’t feel like home anymore until I see you.”

Juan didn’t say anything. He lifted his head to kiss the apple of her cheek and then nestled his face into the perfect spot between her hair and her neck, but he didn’t say a word in response. Maybe he wants to say something sweet like I’m always his home, but he knows that wouldn’t really ring true? Or he really, really wants to say something he’s not supposed to, like “then why don’t you let me be home for you forever”, or “home is where the heart is so why don’t you listen to yours”. I don’t know if boys understand difficult concepts like what home is, the equestrian mused, lulled into complacency about the lack of a reassuring or endearing response by the combined effect of being in an embrace with a warm and nice smelling body and the heel of his palm pressed into her pubic bone while that middle finger moved down and back below. Especially boys who play football. They’re never lacking for structure in life. Football is structure. It never changes for them. Every week is more or less the same for them except for a month in summer, for like 15 years. Train, work out, play, rest. I know some of them manage to get their non-football lives all screwy, but they can never say there is no permanent, solid thing to grab onto.

“Anything I say back to you now that matters makes tonight too serious. Don’t think I don’t have a reaction, okay?” Juan rubbed his nose on the top of Christina’s shoulder, and then kissed it too. Just about every other part of him was touching her or pressing against her, and if his honesty weren’t convincing enough then his body language would have been. She believed him though, without question. He never took her meaningful declarations lightly, or failed to feel affected by them.

“I’m more interested in you kissing me like 94 times. I need neck kisses, and cheek kisses, temple kisses, forehead kisses, nose kisses, corner of my mouth kisses, kisses by my ea-“ I adore him, the rider thought as her list of kiss requirements was interrupted by lips almost squarely on hers. Juan couldn’t quite reach her whole mouth, so he kissed about ¾ of it for about three or four seconds.

“You have too many demands,” he told her after, which made her laugh a little. She also leaned back to see him better, and reached for his head to bring it back close. I wanna kiss him too actually. She latched gently onto his bottom lip, and he stroked up and down her tummy with his left hand, flat and heavy. The other hand disappeared from between her legs, but Christina didn’t really miss it. The tuft of facial hair caught inside her greedy bottom lip, and prickly hair along his jaw against the inside of her palm were much more interesting. Touching the player’s face gave her a unique sense of ownership over him that wasn’t inherent in other types of contact. Holding his hand or his arm didn’t always make him hers. Kissing him and holding his face was special, and that might even have been related to her dislike of having her mouth touched. A certain relationship status had to be obtained for that. It disappointed her a great deal when he pulled away from her possessive mouth. He couldn’t surrender his lips to her, hold her, and take his underwear off at the same time. Spencer and Lucky were still under the blanket too but the Spaniard wasn’t as concerned about their undergarment thievery as their mom. He used his hips to push hers forward again, forcing her back onto her side, and moved her right leg forward. Before actually pushing inside of her, he took the time to massage her butt. It was an otherwise ignored entity all night. She just shut her eyes and played with her own hair by her scalp, waiting. Despite her rampant issuing of demands, Juan was entitled to do the things he liked best too. That included kneading handfuls of booty, and pulling it apart, and getting his hand as close to the only part of her he was ever forbidden from.

I think I require some music, Christina decided while her ass and breasts got the Juan’s Touch™ treatment simultaneously. Her phone was within reach near her pillow, and she deftly used it to turn the stereo on without even really looking at the screen. The Apple Music Pure Pop station was the last thing she’d listened to on it, and that was fine for the occasion. She wasn’t looking for something romantic, or some kind of heady electronic music that would manipulate their moods. Quiet top 40 was good for keeping the mood casual, and taking up the silence. Tonight is like when you’re 22 and the best thing in the world is chilling in bed with your cute as fuck boyfriend, making out a lot, laughing a lot, and listening to pop songs that seem soooooooo relevant that day but will be forgotten forever in a couple of months. Like when close company is all that matters, and fixes everything. I love when Juanin actively decides not to make “tonight too serious”. He knows how to read a room, so to speak, or it just happens to be what he wants tonight too. I dunno. I’m just mad impressed he’s managing to keep his Brillo chin exactly on top of the one-inch of tank top on my shoulder. Oh, Bebe Rexha. I like this song.

“Are you bored, baby girl?” the Blues’ creator questioned sarcastically before pecking her jaw. “You need to play disc jockey? Oh! I got it. You have to be a jockey of some type at all times...”

“That’s a particularly lame joke. I expect better from you. And no I’m not bored. I just don’t like silence, and you stopped making squishy sounds between my legs and stopped letting me make kissy sounds with my mouth.” Christina looked back over her shoulder and pouted.

“Taylor keeps playing this fake-dirty song from the new Fifty Shades film coming out whenever we’re hooking up.”

“What would ever compel you to talk about her right now?”

“I don’t know- I was wondering if I was supposed to be getting a message from the songs. The first one you played started out with like...”Dont you know you excite me like that, when you touch me like that”. I don’t know,” Juan laughed. His smile was kind of helpless, and his friend thought it both funny and cute. He looks like someone treading water in insecurity for a change! I bet it’s really just about his bad singing though and not that he really wasn’t sure if I was sending musical hints. Aren’t we way past that? How are-

“How are you and Taylor not past musical hints? Doesn’t she tell you what she wants?”

“Now who’s talking about Taylor.”

“Meh.”

“You don’t always tell me either.

“What song does Tay Tay play when she wants you to put it in her butt?” Christina couldn’t help but smirk as she bounced her behind against him. Biting her lip didn’t keep the smirk off the rest of her features, and certainly not out of her taunting eyes. Two uncomfortable blinks on the other darkened set of blue eyes in the room leveled her expression pretty quickly, however. What did I say, she wondered. He brought her up, not me. Is it not okay to joke about her? I guess it’s not very nice. “Sorry.”

“Do you still want lazy person spoon sex?” The footballer was prepared to give her a pass on the misstep, and dribbled around it.

“Yeah. Can I have a kiss first though?”

“You’re going to have lots of kisses,” he smiled after smooching her plump pout. She was glad to have him back in the proper moment, and she felt around for her phone about 7 seconds after he finally put something more than fingers inside of her, to turn the stereo off again. It was better to be fully alone with him, or alone with him and two comatose dogs mooching off their heat. Juan complemented lazy person spoon sex with lazy person kissing. His lips visited everywhere they could reach from behind her head- all over half of her face, her neck, her shoulder, part of her chest. She couldn’t return any of them from that position, so she held his hand- the one that was roaming around much of her body. She thought about bringing it up to her face and sucking on his finger again, but that compulsion had passed.

Lazy didn’t last for very long. Lazy was relaxing, and indulgent, and a really allover physically restorative activity. Lazy made both athletes feel as if they were getting the most therapeutic massage imaginable. Lazy wasn’t as sexually satisfying as not lazy, and when two people rub their bodies together for a while then sexual satisfaction becomes a necessity. Juan got more animated first, and then Christina turned fully onto her front- on her elbows, and tummy, and thigh- to make it easier for him to “fuck [her] properly”. All of the slow and considerate in-out up to that point meant she needed very little extra stimulation to get over the line. Her partner deliberately denied it to her for a while. He kissed her back, and hugged her head, and pinched at her sides, and smacked her butt, but he didn’t reach under her when her hips lifted off the bed, or lay on top of her to be able to get under there when she was flat and struggling to absorb what he had to give. He waited until he was ready to get off with her, because she said she wanted that. Christina forgot that part, but he didn’t. It was on her original list of instructions. The player remembered that she wanted to be in his arms too, so when he had his fill of making her brace against him, and bury her face in a pillow, and whine his name, he moved over next to her again and dragged her back to her side in the process, so that they could finish together the same way they started.

“That was nice,” she mumbled absently after turning all the way around in the “secretly ripped arms” so that she could give her back a little relief from lying on just one side for so long, and so that she could be figuratively closer too. Facing one another was inherently closer to her. She didn’t need to look her footballer in the face or anything- in fact she found herself at his chest when she managed to get turned around, under his chin- but she needed equal hugging and touching opportunity not afforded to her when they were spooning.

“I think the reason most things are going better for you lately is having your sex life back,” the Spaniard joked while she nuzzled into his shirt and rubbed one of his legs with her foot. “Angels are happier and easier to deal with when they get off a lot.”

“Does it say that in the Bible?”

“It’s one of the Ten Commandments. “Give your angel regular orgasms”.”

“Is that before or after “Thou shalt not commit adultery”?”

“I don’t know that one.”

“Did you know there were horses in Asturias 14,000 years ago?”

“No.”

“I saw a NatGeo picture on Instagram of a drawing in a cave in Asturias and-“

Juan stopped Christina’s babbling with a long and savoring kiss. He had to pull on her hair a little to tilt her head back, and he made up for that while his tongue poked around at hers by massaging her scalp. How does he know me and Schü are having sex all the time when we see each other? Does he just assume we are because we’re not fighting 24/7 anymore? Or because he knows we were doing it a lot when Schü was here for the holidays? Or does he not mean to include Schü in having my sex life “back”? Surely he does, the rider thought while she kissed back. It’s not like I’m hooking up with him that much. Tonight was the first time in almost a month. Maybe he was just joking around anyway. The kiss ended with two additional quick smooches and the considerate finger combing of her hair to smooth the mess he’d just made of it.

“Go clean up so we can sleep, baby girl,” he advised.

“K but you still have to hold me when I get back. Don’t think you’re getting out of that.”