Marcy Falls Down The Fucking Stairs
Aka Olivia and Marcy meet for the first time in the most violently Marcy way possible
It was a normal day.
Just a normal, mundane, not at all cataclysmic day in Newtopia.
Until it wasn’t.
Lady Olivia strolled primly down the cobbled sidewalk of the city, carrying bags of groceries. She could’ve gotten a servant to do it, but Olivia didn’t believe she was above such things. Besides, she liked to get out and get fresh air. If she didn’t leave the castle grounds regularly it would do weird things to her mental health.
Just as she was thinking about how nice the weather was, Olivia heard what sounded like faint, far away… screaming?
She brushed it off, assuming some kids were playing somewhere. But then it gradually got louder. And closer. And was that a cracking noise?
Lady Olivia found herself inconveniently standing by the bottom of Newtopia’s longest staircase, and that’s when she looked up and found the source of the noise.
Someone was falling down the fucking stairs.
“HEY! LOOK OOOOOUT!” the person screamed, before finally colliding with Olivia and sending them both flying backwards.
Olivia groaned and rubbed her head, surveying herself for injury. Besides being shaken up and scattering her groceries everywhere, there didn’t seem to be anything wrong. Olivia quickly picked herself up and dusted off her dress, a bit embarrassed but okay. The same couldn’t be said for the other person though. She was lying face first on the ground, twitching and groaning, her limbs a tangled mess.
“Oh- oh my, are you alright?!” Olivia asked, hurrying to her aid. She lifted her head, and- oh.
This wasn’t a newt, or even an amphibian at all. Olivia had never seen anything like her before. She was tall, gangly, and dry. Her head was strangely shaped, and had two protruding ears on either side and a strange bump in the middle of her face that seemed to be bleeding.
Olivia took a step back, shocked.
“Huh? Oh, sorry ‘bout that. You guys have long staircases,” the creature slurred, rubbing her arm under her face bump. She looked at it, noticing the blood, but seemed too dazed to freak out. “Huh, nose’s bleeding. That makes sense.” She attempted to pick herself up, but yelped in pain and quickly laid back down, groaning.
The crowd that had formed around them started to exchange frightened whispers.
“What is that thing?!”
“It’s definitely not from around here, that’s for sure.”
“I can’t believe it just went barreling into Lady Olivia and doesn’t seem bothered!”
“Why is it in our city?”
“Why is it so ugly?!”
“Someone call the Knight Guard! They’ll know what to do!”
Despite the reaction of everyone else, Olivia couldn’t help but feel bad for the strange creature. It was definitely intelligent, at least on par with newts, and sounded very young. So as the crowd backed away, Olivia stepped closer, kneeling down in front of her. She rubbed the creature’s head to get her attention.
“How many fingers am I holding up?” She asked.
“Uuuuuuhuuuum… seven! Wait, no, three! Wait, no, you’re supposed to have five, so…. Ten?” She coughed a few times, then threw up on the marble sidewalk. The crowd gasped in horror and backed away further. “…Oops. Sorry about your carpet,” she slurred, obviously out of it.
Olivia stared at her bewildered for a second, then jumped into action.
“I think you have a concussion,” she said gently, then looked at the rest of her body. “And does your species usually bend like that?” Olivia pointed at the creature’s leg, the lower half of which was jutting out at a nauseating angle. She turned her head to see, and winced.
“Yeah, definitely not. Now that you mention it… Ouch, that really hurts!”
The creature sniffled and wiped her bloody nose again, and Olivia pulled a fancy lace handkerchief out of her pocket and held it to her nose. “Here, don’t cry, it’ll make it worse. Tilt your head back like this, okay?”
The creature whimpered and did so, and Olivia turned to address the crowd.
“Does anyone have a wagon? I need to get her to a hospital!”
Everyone avoided eye contact with her, and a taxi driver stepped in front of his cab as if that could hide it. Olivia scoffed.
“That’s royal orders!” She demanded, and the taxi driver immediately switched his attitude.
“O-of course, here, get her in my cab,” he said, rushing over to help lift her up.
“About time,” Olivia said, fully intending to be rude. “Creature, I’m going to need to stand up on your good leg, alright? There you go.” The two newts helped the creature awkwardly hop to the cab, but about halfway there she started to falter.
“Yeeeaaaah, I’m gonna pass out.”
“WAIT! NONONO, DON’T PASS OUT! STAY AWAKE, YOU NEED TO GET TO-“ Olivia shouted, but it was no use, and the creature went limp. “Oh god damn it,” she groaned, completely abandoning any sort of etiquette. She felt like she had the right to in this situation. She then turned to the huge mass of newts standing there staring, like fascinated schoolchildren looking at a dead animal. “WILL ANY OF YOU COME HELP US INSTEAD OF JUST STANDING THERE?!” The crowd all averted eye contact again. “COME ON, SERIOUSLY?! TOUCHING HER IS NOT GOING TO KILL YOU! SHE’S JUST A GIRL! A really strange, gangly, clumsy girl…” she added quietly to herself.
A muscular orange newt handed her young daughter to a nearby stranger and headed over, then carefully lifted the creature into her arms.
“Here, I’ve got her. Get in the cab.”
“Oh, thank you,” Olivia said gratefully, climbing into the wagon. Once she was seated, the newt laid the girl across the seat, placing her head in Olivia’s lap.
“No problem, sorry for not helping earlier. I’m glad to know Newtopia has such caring royalty. Makes me feel like my kid’s in a good place, ya know?”
Olivia smiled, then looked down at the creature. As the cab started moving, her eyes slowly fluttered open.
“Huh… wuh? What’s goin’ on?”
“We’re getting you to a hospital. You fell down the stairs, remember?”
The creature squinted, thinking hard, then gasped.
“Oh YEAH! I remember that! I threw up on your lawn! Sorry about that.”
Olivia chuckled, she would never get that right.
“It’s alright. What’s your name, creature?”
“I’m Marcy Wu, and I’m a human!”
“A human?”
“Yup, but who cares about that, what are YOU? Why are you blue? Your hair is really pretty, what shampoo do you use? Do you watch anime? Why do you think parents encourage their children to go to college when it’ll just put many of them in inescapable student loan debt? What’s your opinion on gay people?”
Olivia laughed. She had a feeling that she was going to be answering a lot of questions in the foreseeable future.
“One at a time, Marcy. Firstly, I’m Lady Olivia of Newtopia. And I’m a newt.”
Marcy’s eyes grew to the size of golf balls, and they practically sparkled with amazement.
“Woah… that sounds fancy! You’re a talking newt?! That’s wild! I had a pet newt once, a non talking one, but then my neighbor’s kid rock tumbled him in his aquarium. His guts were blue, is that why you’re blue? Or are you blue because there’s some evolutionary benefit to it? Or does it just look pretty? I have so many questions, I don’t even know where to start! But my head feels kinda woozy…”
Olivia smiled sympathetically and brushed the hair out of her eyes, pinning it back into place with the green hairpin that had gotten all tangled up and loose during her fall.
“I’m sure it does, that was a rather long fall you took there. But you’re going to be alright. Just close your eyes and rest for me, and I can answer all your questions once you’re all fixed up and feeling better.”
Marcy closed her eyes and smiled, feeling completely and totally safe with this bizarre stranger. Soon enough they were at the hospital, but she had already fallen asleep.
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