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fivewholeminutes · 4 months

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so. wembley.

Once I have finally gathered my wits the words did not want to stop coming. This rambling is long; apologies for that. And for the messed up tenses I hate tenses we only have one past tense why is English like this

No photos/videos yet, they are still not properly checked/deleted/edited by me.

It was. Unsurprisingly. One of the best days of my life. But also, I don't remember much from my life, so don't trust me on this one. (Kidding, it totally WAS one of the best days of my life). And uhh... I have a problem with processing events and emotions, so it still feels like I have seen it on a TV screen instead of, you know, actually, physically having been there? Idk how to explain that, I still have to convince my brain that I've been there. I feel detached from it completely. But!! I!! Have!! Been!! There!!

I woke up so early that foxes were still roaming the streets. Didn't talk much with people around me in the queue (hello anxiety), but they were lovely! I signed the blue flag for iii from me & Lia, got the sticker for Projekt Atlantic, received some bracelets, exchanged some bracelets, put some sea creatures tattoos on people (LIA I FORGOT TO GIVE YOU THE WHALE!!!), slept on a pavement, bought merch for myself and others (I've never had anyone to buy concert merch for before, it's such a nice feeling 🥺).

And queueing for so long was so fucking worth it! Third row, baby!! For the first time in the middle!! (Which was my downfall later, but the pre-show me was not aware of that just yet). I couldn't actually hear HEALTH that well, but I really liked their drummer, he was enjoying himself and his joy was contagious. (I've checked them later though and. Last album, my beloved.) During the break, well, you all know what was happening, I have been liveblogging everything (sorry about that <3). The moment someone in the crowd literally screeched when they saw the new masks on instagram was a blessing, I wouldn't have survived seeing them in new masks without a warning. Also, my blind ass would probably realise 3 songs in that they have different masks, I shit you not. Besides, it was super fun having a mental breakdown here on tumblr with y'all <3

When Espera entered the stage, everything else stopped being of any importance to me. I remember my first thought was "oh yeah, sure, the ladies are dressed up and moving like this and you expect me to focus on anything else that is happening on this stage?". And of course, my second thought was "I GOTTA TAKE PICTURES FOR DARYA". Naturally, I was trying to keep up with everything else anyway. I haven't seen ii all too well though and it makes me sad :( Alas. I've had a good vantage point for the ladies. Yeah. Brain went brrrrr every time I was looking at them. Where was I again-

I was still coughing at that time. I got a terrible coughing fit after literally 3 short screams during HEALTH and my idiot ass has left all the lozenges except one in the hotel room an hour before the door opening. I thought I would have to spend the rest of the night not singing along nor screaming and felt utterly heartbroken for a few minutes, but after my Holy Grail Lozenge (and a LOT of water from the venue's crew) my cough has abandoned me for the duration of the whole ritual (thank you, Sleep). Even though, when Sam told us that we have to sing, my only thought was "I CAN'T FUCKING SING EITHER, MATE". But I did. Oh, I so fucking did. I sung my lungs out and did not cough even ONCE.

But you know. I was exhausted, anxious, surrounded by strangers and had more sugar in my veins than red cells at that point, so I wasn't my best self. I really thought the karaoke was for shits and giggles at first. "Oh yeah, it's The Most Popular Song, let's see how it sounds when 10k people sing it without the singer's help!", you know. Thought it was for the recording the announcements warned us about. But then we sung Granite. Ohhhkay. And then The Love You Want - certainly not a song they would leave for an impropmtu singalong. It was then that I (belatedly) realised that yeah, something really was wrong and so my heart broke again. So many preparations! Their biggest gig so far! Even iii managed to be there! And something had to happen!! Specifically!! To Vessel!! Of all people!! That was just not fair. He totally didn't deserve this. But it's just life and its endless fucking bad surprises for everyone, huh.

I didn't have enough time to collect all the broken pieces of my heart from the sticky floor and mend them after this realisation, because after Vessel joined the singing for the last few lines of TLYW, he dropped to his knees in front of us crying and thanking everyone. That sight is now carved into my brain. This is when I realised the 3rd row was a mistake. The psychic damage it gave me is irrevocable. Do you have those moments that you will never forget? A few seconds of an (usually traumatic) experience that will haunt you forever, replaying in your mind like a broken record? It was a bit like this for me. It wasn't traumatic, mind you, but it was definitely something that made a permanent dent in my heart and a home in my brain. And I wouldn't change it anyway.

Another thing that made me think that I will just fall down and never get up was iii & iv's hug. It was. So full of love and reassurence. Idk, you could just feel that emitting from them, okay? I was standing there thinking "yeah sure, just fucking murder me tonight instead, okay. Should've kept staring at Espera only-". Ah yes. The ladies. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Where was I again-

The goosebumps when the whole venue yelled "they won't be missing you" during Nazareth, oh my fucking god. On my previous rituals, in way smaller venues, there's always been a handful of people screaming it. And everyone doing it? Unparalleled feeling. Bordering on the shrimp emotions scale.

The lights were spectacular. I cannot describe how amazing the light show was. I am sending a kiss to each and every light crew member.

Also, Vessel being more emotional during the ritual as a whole. The TLYW moment was the worst for me, but there were many others. (Ascensionism and Bloodsport stabbing me with a rusty knife the most.) I mean, who could've blamed him for the emotions, he would probably be very emotional even without the voice issues. Who wouldn't be!! It was a big night, after all. God, it must have been so difficult for him, I really, really fucking hope the love coming from his bandmates, crew and the crowd was enough to help him focus on the good parts of the evening only. And!! It wasn't even that bad!!! Sure, he lost his voice for a while, but once it was back you could!! Barely!! Hear!! The difference!! I have a whole new level of respect for Vessel because of that. And for staying onstage with us for the songs he couldn't sing. Didn't know I could respect him even more than I already did, but hey. Love being surprised like that. I have seen concerts where the singers were singing way worse live while being completely healthy. Like sure, you could notice he's not using so many uhh, how do you call this in English, vocal ornamentations??? and that his voice is strained, but it was still beautiful. Take care of your voice now though, dude, jfc. Thanks for the sacrifice, much appreciated, but TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL FUCKING FIND YOU- (kidding, kidding. or am i.) I also liked that he was leaving the more screamy moments in songs for us. Aiming the microphone at us, positive we'll have his back. Like yeah, yeah, other bands do that relatively often, but it's not something they usually do, you know.

I can't vouch for everyone in the crowd, but I sure as fuck did not have a SINGLE thought that the show sucks because of his voice issues. Like it didn't even occur to me. Honest to god. I was shocked when I saw on tumblr that people were leaving? Asking for a refund????????????? I was having the time of my life singing those songs. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience, probably!! Who can say they karaoked whole 3 songs with the band playing for them live?? Your local karaoke bar could never. (Bonus points, you could hear Espera better bc of that! Yes, I know, you are not supposed to hear backing vocals too loud in general, I'm just saying it was nice hearing them, bc usually I hear them on recordings only.)

Yeah, sure I was disappointed after the show that there was no Euclid, but that's just me, a total whore for Euclid. It's a completely different thing than being a bitch who leaves halfway, because something out of the ordinary has been happening.

Anyways. I would like to wish all the crowdsurfers a very fuck you. Hope you will all step on a lego every day for the rest of your lives <3

Crowdsurfers and constant giving away of water (which I understand, it was terribly hot there and it was needed) were a bit distracting, I missed some things because of the commotion, the drum solo has been disrupted by me getting a (fortunately very light) kick in the mouth and DRUM SOLO IS SACRED. I HOPE THE CROWDSURFER WHO DECIDED TO GO UP IN THAT MOMENT WILL STEP ON 3 LEGOS DAILY. IT'S LITERALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE RITUAL FOR ME AND THEY HAVE RUINED IT. Thanks to another crowdsurfer, I missed the moment the band was throwing stuff into the crowd and I promised Lia I will catch a pick/drumstick for them!!!!!!! I've had a banner for this occassion and all!!!!! And!!!!! For the whole time things were flying from the scene!!!! I have been under someone's legs and ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Side note: Vessel was throwing away his rings. That's so fucking cool, ahh.

All in all, half of the things that happened there, I've learned from tumblr. The announcements about the recording, people leaving, Vessel being covered in runes (I WAS STANDING RIGHT BEFORE HIM AND DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING. A N Y T H I N G. I HATE BEING A BLIND IDIOT), the Espera ladies laughing at iii for not coming to the photo, hell, even Vessel trying to get his attention. I have NO idea what I've been doing back then, it's a blur again lmao. And. The most important thing: Vessel's "thank you". I didn't catch it back then. I don't hear it on my recording. Tbh I couldn't believe y'all for a long while that it really happened (I'm sorry). But it did and you know what? I'm glad the broken pieces of my heart were left on the arena's floor earlier during the show. I don't want them anymore.

I would also like to thank that one security guy in huge headphones who was our warning that another fucking crowdsurfer was coming our way. I hope the headphones guy's pillow is always cold on both sides, his skin clear, his crops- and so on. Our hero <3

There was also a moment during Atlantic (another important moment disrupted. Smh) where 2 security persons dived into the crowd?? I still have no idea what was happening, bc if someone faints for example, they are always brught to the barricade by the crowd and security picks them up, I've never seen security getting into the crowd before. And because of that, people around me were talking loudly during Atlantic. Kill kill murder kill

Still, Projekt Atlantic was a huge success and I am so proud of the organisers!! They're in the same category of lovely people as the big headphones security guy

Sending a kiss to @murderofcrow for this gif 🖤

To sum up. I will forever be grateful for this band. This music has activated the dormant parts of my mind. I am making art again. I am meeting cool people because of them. I have people to talk about it with who are as excited about it as I am. For the first time in ages I really feel alive again. And life is not good, far from it, to be completely honest with you, they haven't magically fixed all my problems, but I do have something that actually fucking works on me. I know Vessel wouldn't agree, but they are saving people. And you all, lovely ST pocket of tumblr motherfuckers who are reading this, you are saving people too.

And, last but not least!! In hot pink, because I can! Thanks to this ritual I could finally meet @vesselsscarlet and @thevenomousseprent in person!!!!!!!!! I love you guys, you are amazing and I can't wait to see you again 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 You've made me feel so loved that weekend and it's something I haven't felt in a while!!

#it was surprisingly hard to write #took a lot of editing and rewriting whole paragraphs and it's still not a proper description of everything i wanted to say #i don't know how to talk about emotions #and i have. a lot of them since wembley #a word of advice: attend concerts. beg for money for them from your family members sleep in tents during rain #or in hostel rooms filled with random people #go for gigs without a place to sleep and spend 4hrs waiting for your bus home in a local mcdonalds #watching drunk guys split their eyebrows on the stairs there #(not now tho now we're boycotting macdonalds #but there are other places open 24/7)#go to gigs alone #but by god. go to them if you are able to and if your health allows you to go #(and yes it is coming from someone with anxiety. i wouldn't travel or sleep in a tent alone for anything else trust me)#it is always worth it. ALWAYS #sleep token

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cuntylittlesalmon · 2 years

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i really really really hate that my city killed the bus line by my house. oh i hate it so much

#they replaced it with a stupid uber-like system that never fucking works 🥲#i liked the bus. i liked the bus so so so so much #it would’ve taken me like. an hour / hour and a half bus ride from campus to home now takes THREE FUCKJNG HOURS #and i have to go down town! to a transfer station!#this is why i uber every time but it’s so so so so expensive i literally hate this #can i please leave the suburbs <3 i want to die <3

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awkwardexxodus · 2 years

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ok but grover and chiron not telling percy he was a demigod until he made it to camp was just so... ugh. 'oh but that would put him in more danger!!!' bitch he already threw hands with a fucking fury what other danger could he possibly find that he wouldnt while unaware???

#like... the whole ms dodds bullshit set off a chain of events that involved the minotaur and uhh the fates themselves.#can you IMAGINE percy goes home like mom today i fought a mythical creature with my latins teacher sword and sally is like oh shit #and immediately takes him to camp #minutes before shit hits the fan #& its just the minotaur standing outside the barrier. staring at percy like that fox from dora the explorer #that would be funny. wouldnt happen bc plot! but it would be hilarious.#anyway im tired and stupid ill shut up now #pjo #percy jackson #edit ive been thinking and actually grover was just obeying orders & his only mistake was not selling the camp better at the bus

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anormalkidingotham · 4 months

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mr freeze has been targeting public transport recently for some reason so if you have to get anywhere and don't have a car, you should probably make sure your connection hasn't been cancelled or that someone can give you a ride

#i may or may not have been almost three hours late for school today #it wasn't my fault tho #how was i supposed to know my bus would end up frozen to the road #but of course my teachers don't care about that #so now i'm in detention #and i have no idea how to get back home #because by now the streets are all frozen over #it's super annoying #can't he just freeze something else?#mr freeze #only in gotham #just gotham city things #unreality

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lauronk · 3 months

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can i make a fic about jellyfish just as long as a fic about plants?

well i'm sure as shit gonna try

#jelly fic #still doesn't have an actual title yet #this one is like tlou with a sprinkling of stardew valley #dance of the moonlight jellies #all these words and there's been mentions of jellies but no actual jellies yet #maybe in another 2k words or so #this one might be out by the weekend #because my weekend plans just fell through bc my partner got the rona again so when i'm not at work i'm stuck at home #wearing a mask at the computer while he is locked in our spare room because i'm showing as negative #tl;dr i have lots of writing time now and i intend to put it to good use #gonna finish jelly fic #gonna work on what the original jelly fic was but now is a fic of its own #gonna work on bus fic part 5 #on the road again (there i go)#gonna do some more brainstorming for bthb #just so many things to do #i'll shut up in the tags now though #night night #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #joel and ellie #fanfic struggles

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chrismcshell · 11 months

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i love public transit. would love to have punctual and reliable public transit

#the bus just showed up 20 minutes late #i couldve been home by now.#and this just keeps happening.

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blu3haw4 · 21 days

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"That's not going to fit" for the made up fic title

Okay, two thing came to my head.

The first one would be a smutty cracky one-shot where either Clarke or Lexa tell each other that when the other puts out a strap/dick if we're going for G!P

The longer one, would be a repetitive sentence said between the two usually refering to clothing. Something like:

It was their thing. Their one true inside joke. Their line.

The first time was a little of a surprise. First time Lexa stayed over at Clarke's, they hadn't know each other for all that long and it was a circunstancial necessity more than a plan. They had met up for a coffee close to Clarke's place and out of nowhere a storm hit and it was too dangerous for Lexa to go back home.

Clarke offered Lexa more comfortable clothes to spend the night but Lexa kept dismissing the idea. The sentence came right when the stubborn pair were a little done with each other, Clarke having brought out a pair of sweat pants and shoving them into Lexa's hands before trying to push her to the bathroom to change.

"C'mon, Lexa, you can't tell me you're comfortable in those jeans! Just put on my sweatpans!"

Lexa throws the sweatpants back, annoyed and a little embarrassed that she's probably going to have to confess why she doesn't want to try them on.

Clarke huffs, grabbing the waist of the pants and pulling them up in the air in a 'see? Nothing wrong' gesture.

Is a single raised eyebrow that follows the gesture that breaks Lexa.

"That's not going to fit!" She huffs, and then pouts. Because she knows.

She's not ashamed to say she's looked at Clarke's figure more than once, she paid attention because- well, she's only human and they've been dating for a little while. It wasn't a crime.

It all came with comparation though, she knew her cleavage wasn't as prominent as Clarke, she knew she was taller than her soon to be girlfriend, she knew she was more tones and less curvy in most areas.

She knew her ass and hips were much wider than Clarke.

"It's not going to fit" Clarke breath, frowning at the sweatpants.

Because of course she knew too. She's looked too, if there was one thing about Lexa's body -that she knew thus far- that she liked was her figure, how her pants and dresses always seem to put up a fight with her hips and bottom. The tightness she could notice was the reason she proposed Lexa wear something more comfortable. How could she have been so stupid to no realize those hips would never go past the waistband of her sweats.

The awkwardness would last long and they would soon find other ways to make Lexa comfortable (if you know what i mean)

Another memorable time would be in the rush of the moment. A kiss turned make out session on the couch of Lexa's shared apartment with her sister, quickly scaling into something that involved much less clothing.

A ring tones, or a car door closing outside would alert them of the fact that Anya would walk in too soon. In the rush of getting presentable Lexa would throw Clarke a tshirt from the floor.

"This isn't mine"

"Doesn't matter, put it on!" Would leave Lexa's mouth before she can stop it.

They would pause. Looking at each other, with Lexa in just her sweater and Clarke holding Lexa's shirt against her chest.

It's a shared thought.

'That's not going to fit'

Blushing and giggle Clarke would throw the tshirt back, laughing out "that's not going to fit!"

"Unless you strech it!" Lexa would laugh too making Clarke fake-ofended chase her through the apartment to Lexa's room.

By the time Anya would walk in they would've long forgetten it all started because of her arrival

And so on, i could think of a million other little moments that they would say this to each other and why not, bring in the strap one.

#anon #writing prompt #technically speaking #made-up fic tittle #thank you anon #i had fun #i wrote this on the bus on my way home #i have a headache now for staring at the scree while moving all that time #but well #it was fun still #clexa #clexa fic

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duine-aiteach · 11 months

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Been thinking lately about the term Anglo-Irish. Specifically in the context of notable historical figures such as Oscar Wilde, J. M. Synge, W. B. Yeats, Bram Stoker, Jonathan Swift, Maria Edgeworth, and so many others. We’re so quick to claim that they’re not British that they’re Irish, but it’s not as straight forward as that is it? The same issue arises with notable Northern Irish people. Sometimes it’s clear if they identify as British or Irish, but not always.

Obviously we want to claim the brillance of Anglo-Irish people in history because they came from our home and that is important. But on the other hand, the Anglo-Irish were the ones making waves because of that privilege. That is important too. The Anglo-Irish - as a whole - were generally better off and a higher class than the general Irish population. That can’t be ignored. They become well known and influential outside of Ireland because they have the money and the connections to do that. Many other Irish people were probably as talented but just didn’t get the chance.

A lot of the notable Anglo-Irish people did go over to England and prosper there, which is probably part of the reason that people call them British. But even if their families were well off english landlord types, a lot of them were raised in ireland and that matters.

Wikipedia says

The Anglo-Irish novelist and short story writer Elizabeth Bowen memorably described her experience as feeling "English in Ireland, Irish in England" and not accepted fully as belonging to either.

Many Irish people today have family in the UK. Many of my peers have one British parent or grandparent, myself included. While the countries are separate places and should be treated as such, the people are still messy. I was born in England to an English mother and an English-born Irish father then raised in Ireland. Up until I was 15 or 16 I was a British citizen, then I was imported and now all my documentation says I’m Irish. I don’t consider myself English or British at all. And today, that distinction doesn’t really make much difference. I’m not any better or worse than my neighbours whose family have lived and died in the same area for generations. But historically, for these notable Anglo-Irish people, that distinction did make a difference.

#this has been in my drafts since….9th of may 20222 #I know I had a really interesting conversation about the term Anglo Irish and specifically bram stoker and dracula with fiona at the bus #station and I promised them I would write more about what we’d said #but I forgot and this draft has sat here ever since. untouched.#so you get this half thought #please do feel free to add on to it! I would love to hear other people’s thoughts on the term anglo-irish and their domination of the arts #other things too but those were what I was focusing on in a historical context #my own post #ireland #Anglo-Irish #irish #it’s probably more poignant now that I am living in the uk #and interestingly how many people i have met over here who have one irish grandparent and how many irish people my granny knows #who have never lived long term in ireland. people like my father whose parents left home in search of work and settled in the uk

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