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souliebird · 8 months

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[[and then I met you || ch. 7]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to protect his new family from not only Hell's Kitchen but from the world.

pt: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

When you escaped your parents’ house and moved into the city for college, you already knew the basics of cooking. Since you had turned fourteen, it had been your responsibility to feed yourself. 'You are old enough to figure it out' was what your parents had told you. Living in the dorms didn't give you much opportunity to cook and when you finally had your own kitchen to really play around in, you didn't have the money to afford a full pantry. It was hard, but it never deterred you and you learned a couple of good recipes.

When Minnie came along and you were able to figure out her likes and dislikes, you made a few changes - you could finally afford to get all organic produce and bread not made from ninety percent sawdust and you started cooking even more because your little one didn't like things from a can.

And despite what the experts and people online say, you give in to every one of Minnie's food whims. You don't want to force her to eat things she doesn't like. Your parents never listened to you, even if the food made you sick - you ate what was given to you or not at all. You are not going to do that to her and the rules you have come up with are she at least has to try something. If she doesn't like it, she doesn't need to eat it, and the past few months she's been pretty good at telling you why she doesn't like something. You don't always understand her reasoning, but you accept and tell her that she can try it again when she's bigger.

Her favorite thing that you make is lasagna. You make it from scratch and she usually loves to help you and will spend all day excited for ooey-gooey cheese.

Usually.

Today is not a usual day. Today your daughter is an upset little banshee. As soon as she woke up, she was in a bad mood. She didn't want to be touched at all and getting her dressed was a nightmare. Lots of 'no's and crying about how all her clothes were itchy until you finally allowed her to just wear her swimsuit. It was the only thing you could get her to stay in. You didn't even try with her hair, running your fingers through it to get out some knots, but that only lasted a full five seconds before she was running away from you.

You are trying to be patient with her - you know that something must be upsetting her, whether it be waking up on the wrong side of the bed or she's starting to get a cold and not feeling well. She doesn't know how to express herself beyond crying and you don't blame her. You want to cry when you don't feel well.

That doesn't mean it isn't stressful for you. The back of your skull is throbbing from her screams and your own mood is sour because you don't know how to help. Hearing her so upset breaks your heart.

Matt is supposed to come by, thus the homemade dinner, but part of you wonders if you should cancel. Minnie isn't going to calm down anytime soon and you would feel bad having him come over just to witness a tantrum. On the other hand, tantrums are a part of having a child.

You decide to leave it up to him and send him a text letting him know Minnie is having a bad day. He quickly responds he still wants to come, so you return to working on your tomato sauce as quietly as you can.

Mouse has hidden herself under a throw blanket with her tablet and her plushies on the couch. You don't worry about her doing anything she shouldn't be - the tablet is child locked to hell and back - but it is a little hard to tell what she is doing since she's muted the tablet. There is an eerie purple glow coming from under the blanket, so you can guess she's playing one of her games. You've found a few that don't require sound that she enjoys - a few dress up games and matching things.

Occasionally you hear her sniffle or mumble but she doesn't call for you, so you let her be. She didn't really nap today, so you're trying to avoid another meltdown. You are hoping when you remind her Matt is coming, it will help her mood. You're a little jealous he is obviously her new favorite person, but also you are so happy for it.

Your original idea of taking things slow has been adjusted based on her reaction. You wanted to start talking to her about family today and build her up to the idea of having a dad, then have Matt over so she starts that association. That obviously is not going to happen.

You finish up your prep and start to assemble the lasagna, laying sheets of pasta down before adding sauce and cheese then repeating the process until the pan is full. You made a little extra, with the intention of sending Matt home with leftovers. He had mentioned in passing that he doesn't get to cook much and living off take out is not ideal.

The baking pan gets put into the oven and the timer is set, then you aren't sure what to do with yourself. It will take about an hour and Matt is scheduled to arrive then.

You could do some cleaning, but with how Minnie is, you don't want to set her off. You know when she gets like this, any little thing can trigger her, so the best you can come up with is scrolling your phone.

Still, you want to be with your baby, so you make your way to the couch. You keep your voice just above a whisper, knowing she's been itching at her ears all day, "Mouse, can I sit with you on the couch?"

You know she heard you based on the way the blanket moves. It takes a moment before you hear a tiny 'okay'.

You tuck yourself into the opposite corner and take out your phone to bring up something to look at. As soon as you start scrolling your feed, the glowing blanket mound starts moving towards you and you are easily overtaken by it. Minnie gets herself into your lap, still hidden away, then flops against your chest. You can feel her tablet against your thigh and you're pretty sure Scooby is jammed into your stomach, but as long as she's good, you're good.

You keep an eye on the time as you flick through your phone. A majority of the news sites you follow are filling your feed with stories about the explosion in Connecticut. An uneasiness fills your stomach when you see the word 'attack' being thrown around. The headlines say they have determined the destruction was intentional and not an accident, though no one has claimed responsibility. Tony Stark gave some sort of press conference, so his face is all over your phone.

You don't need this today, so you switch over to browsing some online shops. Minnie is getting too big for her winter coat, so you definitely need to get her one before the weather changes and prices go up. You'll have to get her approval before you make a final purchase, but it's good to check what is in the market.

About twenty minutes before you are due to take the lasagna out of the oven, Matt texts you to let you know he is on his way. You confirm that you got his message, then gently run a hand over the mound in your lap, "Hey, sweetie. Dinner is almost ready. Do you remember what I said about dinner tonight?"

The blanket gets tugged and moved until Minnie can poke just the top of her head out. She squints at you, like she is judging you, before mumbling out, "Mister Matt is coming?"

You give her a soft smile, trying to comfort her in any way you can, "That's right, baby, Mister Matt is going to come over and have dinner with us."

She squirms in your lap, before flopping herself forward again and declaring, "I want juice."

"Okay, sweetie."

You manage to gather her, her blanket, her tablet, and some plushies into your arms and get Minnie on your hip to carry her to the kitchen. You're an expert at doing things one handed and it only takes you a minute to make up a sippy cup. Once that is in her little hands, you deposit her into her seat at the dining table. You let her keep her blanket and toys, setting up Scooby and Pig so they are in the seat next to her and her tablet is on the table in front of her.

She is indeed playing a dress up game and as she nurses her juice, she looks at each dress option for the character she's dressing. As she does that, you start to set the table around her. You can tell that despite the cuddles and quiet, your Mouse is still in a grumpy mood. You really, really hope that Matt will help her smile a little.

Once everything is set, you check on the lasagna. It smells and looks delicious to you, and you take the sheet tray out a little early so it can start to cool. That gets Minnie's attention, and you can see her watching you out of the corner of your eye. She's stuck her fingers in her mouth, sucking on them as her eyes follow you around the kitchen.

You are so busy watching Mouse watch you, you don't keep track of the time and when there is a soft knock at the front door, you jump.

You scurry to answer, putting your hand over your heart and telling yourself to chill out. You know who it is and why they are here, and you don't need to panic over it. It's just Matt, you tell yourself.

It's just Matt.

You open the door and your breath catches.

It is just Matt, but Matt is Matt, and he makes your heart pound in a different way.

He's come right from work, so he's in one of his crisp, fitted suits. His hair is fluffed up, like he's run his fingers through it too many times, and he's got that permanent five o'clock shadow. He looks like some GQ model, standing in your doorway.

Embarrassment runs through you. You're not nearly as dressed up as he is. Even on his casual days, he looks so fashionable and cool, and you are wearing biker shorts and a black T-shirt. You look by no means raggedy, but maybe you should have changed. Just because Matt can't see what you are wearing doesn't mean you can be a slob.

"Hi," you eventually choke out and Matt's face lights up.

"Hey there," he says back, then he's holding up a bottle of wine and smiling so sweetly, "I thought I'd try contributing this time and I figured you might need a glass."

You can't help but flush. Today has been rather long and a glass of wine sounds amazing. You don't drink often, but he is right and a glass to unwind sounds perfect.

"You're a saint," you praise, and step aside so he can come in. "How was your day? Oh, you can put your jacket and bag to your left. There's hooks about chest level."

Matt thanks you, then reaches out to feel the wall. He finds the hooks quickly, then hangs his saddle bag before starting to remove his coat, "it was good. We were able to wrap up a few smaller cases - sometimes it just takes someone getting a lawyer for others to cave and do the right thing. Cheaper to just do the right thing than get sued and having to do it anyways, plus all the pay outs and fees."

"That is good," you hum, very much meaning it. You're glad those people got the help they needed. "You mentioned having a handful of cases, so that frees up your plate a little bit, right?"

Matt laughs a little, smile still wide, "A little bit. It's a nice change of things - we aren't hurting for paying clients, so we are going to try to take on a few more pro-bono things. We're getting into a nice groove - or so Foggy claims. He's leading that charge - making sure we aren't over working ourselves."

"I'll have to send him a thank you card," you tease, surprising yourself with it.

"He'd like that, he'd get to lord it over me," he replies. Then he turns to you and steps forward, reaching out and finding your arm. He ghosts his fingers up until he oh-so-gently wraps them around your bicep and steps forward until you're a breath away from each other and you have to look down at his chest, so you are not staring at your own reflection in his glasses. His voice drops to something quiet and intimate, and you can barely hear him through the pounding of your heart in your ears.

"I told them. About you. About Minnie."

You find yourself smiling at the news. That makes it more real, doesn't it? It isn't just the courts acknowledging Matt is Minnie's father - it's the real world. It's Matt wanting her - wanting to show the world he wants his daughter.

That's all you want.

You step just a fraction closer, and to keep your balance and let Matt know how close you are, you place your hand in Matt's chest. Almost instantly, his free hand goes to your waist, and you feel steady.

You bite your bottom lip, then ask, your curiosity so much bigger than your ability to keep your mouth shut, "What did they say?"

He huffs and lightly shakes his head, "After yelling at me for keeping it a secret? They want to meet you, properly. If that is okay. I told them I'd ask you before confirming anything." He hums, then drops his voice even more, "Karen got me magnets so I could hang all the work I got up on my fridge at home."

"You're going to need a lot of them," you whisper back to him. "I ordered popsicle sticks and puff balls so she can make 3D things."

"I can't wait. Karen got me a bulk pack of magnets."

You giggle at that, but before you can reply, a needy little voice calls out from the dining table, "Mommy!"

You pull away from Matt, his fingers tracing down from your bicep to your wrist before he drops his hand, and turn to walk towards your daughter, "Yes, Mouse?"

"I'm hungry!"

She's poked her head out from under the blanket and is now wearing it like a cape and her chubby little cheeks are pulled down into an upset frown. You have a feeling a tantrum may be close - there's nothing worse than a hangry toddler.

You take a breath, then smile at your daughter, "Okay. Mister Matt is here so we can have dinner now. Do you want to tell him what we are having?"

Matt taps his way into the main living space, and you know you should give him a quick tour, but you think if you delay dinner at all, Minnie is going to start crying, so you tell him instead where the table is.

Minnie doesn't seem to want to engage, stuffing her fingers back into her mouth. Luckily, Matt isn't dissuaded by that. He sets the wine bottle down before taking the seat across from Minnie.

"It smells like we're going to have lasagna for dinner. Is that what we are having?" he asks, voice soft and gentle.

Your little one rocks side to side, keeping her fingers in her mouth before nodding. Normally, you would remind her to use her words, but you don't want to push, so you relay her message to Matt, "She nodded."

Matt hums softly in response. He tilts his head slightly, brows knitting together, before leaning forward just a fraction, "Do you want us to leave you alone until you eat?"

You are surprised by the question then even more surprised when he gets the tiniest, 'yes' in reply. Matt's face softens at that, and he nods to Minnie.

"Okay. Can I still talk to your Mommy, or do you want us to be quiet, too?"

You stand, dish towel in your hands, ready to bring the lasagna to the table, watching your daughter interact with her father. He's being so gentle and understanding with her and you can tell he's being genuine. You can hear the care in his words, how he's giving her choice and not pushing her to talk to him.

You'll gladly eat dinner in silence if Minnie doesn't want either of you to talk. You don't know how it will work, but you'll try.

Your little one doesn't answer the question right away. She looks between you and Matt, before pulling her fingers out of her mouth to speak, "You can talk to Mommy."

"Thank you, sweetheart. We'll be quiet, okay?" Matt promises.

You quickly parrot him, giving your own soft smile, "Thank you, baby. We'll keep it down."

Minnie snuggles herself tighter into her blanket and you take that as a sign to get yourself into gear. You carefully pick up the lasagna pan and bring it over to the table, setting it as far as possible away from your little one.

Matt tilts his head towards you, and the food, "That smells delicious. Did you make it yourself?"

You go back to the kitchen to get your serving utensils and answer in the softest voice you can muster that isn't whispering, "Thank you, I did. I found an all organic, from scratch recipe online and have been using it ever since. It's even fancy, way too expensive, cheese. I, uh, made extra. For you to take home, if you want."

Matt licks his lips, and you can tell he's trying to hold back a big smile. It makes your insides turn in a funny way - his kindness and appreciation. You are, as sad as it is, not used to such treatment and for whatever reason that, combined with Minnie's attitude, and Matt being in your apartment for the first time kick starts your anxiety. You are definitely very aware of your heartbeat, and it feels like someone dipped your heart into ice water before it disappears into a hollowness.

This feeling isn't new to you, so you try to push past it, not let your sudden panic ruin things, because despite your little one's sourness, things are okay. You tell yourself things are okay.

Your tiny bout of distress goes unnoticed, as it lasts the blink of an eye. Matt leans back in his chair, letting his smile start to crack through, "You didn't have to do that, but I will definitely take you up on it. I can't turn away a home cooked meal."

You force yourself to smile and cut out a slice of lasagna for Matt, before leaning over to place it on his plate, "Guests first."

"Thank you," Matt practically cooes, "I don't think I've been this excited for a dinner in a long time."

The praise does all sorts of things to you, so instead you focus on cutting out a little slice for Minnie and serving it to her. As soon as the food is in front of her, she stabs her fork into it and shovels a piece into her pouty mouth. You don't blame her at all.

"Would you like a glass of wine…?" You ask Matt. Minnie has her sippy juice, but you haven't set out any other drinks.

He gives you a soft, "Yes, please," and you go to get the two wine glasses you have and a cork screw. You bring them back to the table and set down the glasses before going to open the wine. You haven't done it in such a long time it takes you a minute of struggling to pop it. Matt turns his head towards you, a little grin on his face until you start pouring.

You give Matt his drink, then finally make your own plate before sitting beside Matt. Minnie is still angrily stabbing at her dinner and you feel so bad for her. Even with her favorite dinner and good company, she's not having it. You expect when you put her down, either she'll try to fight you or be asleep the moment she touches the covers. You very much hope for the latter.

Matt, on the other hand, looks completely enthralled with his plate. You can tell his eyes are closed and he's clearly enjoying what he's eating.

You don't press for conversation - instead reaching for your wine. It's a deep red and delicious on your tongue and you can't remember the last time you've had a good wine. You can feel your shoulders starting to loosen.

Which of course means, everything needs to come crashing down.

One moment everything is okay, then the next, Minnie is absolutely screeching. Her face is screwed up in pain and you scramble to get out of your chair to get to her.

"Minnie! What's wrong?!" You try to ask her over her wailing.

Instead of any sort of answer, she grabs for her fork, which is stabbed into her food, and throws it as hard as she can. You watch in horror as the fork and a large chunk of lasagna still attached to it flies over the table and smacks right into Matt's chest. Panic surges through you as he also bends forward and covers his ears with a distressed face, ignoring the food staining his shirt.

You try to grab Minnie from her booster, but she does not want it and instantly starts to try and fight you, flinging her arms and legs everywhere.

"Minnie, please," you beg as she kicks you in the hip, "What's wrong, baby?!"

The only reply you get is upset screaming.

"Cover her ears!"

Matt is very suddenly beside you and clapping his hands over your baby's ears. She fights it, squirming to get away and smacking at his arms with all her might, but he doesn't budge. You stare, not understanding what is going on, what set her off, and you don't know how to help.

You don't know how to help and that sinking feeling in your chest is returning and you're scared.

Matt says your name again, then almost barks at you, "Her headphones! Get her headphones, the strongest ones!"

You don't understand why but it's something you can help with, something you can do, and you rush to the bedroom and grab her sleeping headband. Minnie has always told you this one works the best, despite the reviews of the others. You run back to the dining area and nearly stumble upon what you see.

Matt has somehow gotten Minnie out of her booster seat and into his arms, and she is octopus clinging to him. Her face is pressed into his neck, one ear on his shoulder, while he keeps his hand clamped over the other. He's lightly bouncing her in his arm as she cries against him and part of you becomes extremely distressed at seeing someone else comfort your child.

You push that away quickly to hurry forward and hold up the headband, "I've got it."

Matt nods, then turns his focus back to Minnie. He noses her hair, and you can just barely hear him over her, "It's okay, baby, Mommy has your headband. We're gonna make it quiet. I know it hurts, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry."

You hesitate before stepping towards them. Minnie doesn't flail or pull away as you maneuver the headband and get it over both her ears. It feels so awkward to do as she cries and once it is on her head and over her ears, she reaches up and yanks on it until it is in place. Then she flops back down into the crook of Matt's neck, still crying but somehow not as urgently.

You are unsure of what to do, but everything in you screams to touch your child, so you shuffle close to Matt until you can put a comforting hand on her back.

"I'm right here, baby, it's okay," you whisper, gently rubbing a small circle along her spine.

Matt shifts slightly, and the hand that was covering Minnie's ear drops and he instead wraps it around your waist and pulls you closer, so you are flush against him, with Minnie between the two of you.

That seems to help with whatever has upset Minnie so much. She stays clinging to Matt while he oh so gently sways you back and forth. Her screeching dies down to tired-upset crying and you know she's going to keep going until she passes out.

To your absolute amazement, Matt doesn't seem deterred at all. He keeps his nose buried into his daughter's hair, talking quietly to her as she sobs, "It's okay. Shhhh, shhh. Feel my heartbeat, sweetie. Focus on that. The bad noise will stop soon, I promise. Just listen to your Mommy and I."

You have no idea what he is talking about - what the bad noise is - but it's calming Minnie down, so you let him keep going. You keep your hand on her back, gently doing your own 'shhh'ing, trying to encourage her to calm even more.

"That's my good girl," Matt hums, before giving her the briefest kiss against her temple. "Do you want to go to Mommy now?"

You don't hear Minnie respond, but she must in some way because soon enough she is being transferred into your arms. She clings to you loosely and you can feel her little body starting to droop. She must be close to wearing herself out.

She makes a little upset whine between her huffing and puffing, and you instantly take up gently bouncing her like Matt has been doing. Matt stays wrapped around both of you, taking over your role of rubbing Minnie's back.

You don't know how long you stay there, curled together and soothing Minnie, both of you whispering little words of love and comfort to your daughter.

You think you are past the worst of it, but of course that isn't the case.

Minnie starts squirming and fussing, reaching up and pressing at her ears over her headband. You look up to Matt, to see his reaction and your heart runs cold and fear spikes in you.

He looks absolutely murderous.

He's lifted his head and it is turned towards your living room, his brows scrunched and a scowl on his lips. You instinctively hug Minnie tight to you, but you quickly realize you have nothing to fear.

He stalks across your living room to your open window and yanks it shut. Right away, Minnie loops her arms back around your neck and settles with a sleepy sniffle. You press your face into her, rocking her a little more.

"I've got you, Mouse. It's okay. Mommy's right here."

You don't jump when Matt's hand brushes along your back and he once again wraps you in his arms. You allow yourself to turn ever so slightly and tuck yourself closer, lowering your head so it leans just barely against his shoulder, with Minnie hidden between your bodies.

You feel safe in that moment. You're confused why Minnie got so upset so suddenly and you're confused at how Matt knew how to handle it, but you feel safe, and even more so when Matt's arms tighten around you.

"I've got you both," he practically breathes against you. "I won't let anything get you. I'm here now. I've got you."

You close your eyes as the panic and adrenaline washes away from you and the exhaustion of your day starts to catch up to you. You very much understand how rubbing Minnie's back helps her sleep - Matt's started to drag his fingers up and down your spine and you know it could lull you into Dreamland.

Minnie's cries turn into sniffles and then quickly turn into quiet snores as the minutes pass.

You stay still until you are one hundred percent sure she's gone to the world before pulling back just slightly, and whisper, "I should go lay her down."

Your face is so close to Matt's you can practically taste his breath and your heart starts to pound at the realization of it.

You don't know if it is on account of your words or if he was also aware how tangled up the two of you were, but Matt drops his arms and steps away from you, nodding, "Yeah, she sounds pretty sleep now."

You chew your lip, not liking how your arms are suddenly chilly, but don't acknowledge it, "I'll be right back."

You turn and grab Scooby and Pig, knowing another tantrum will happen if your daughter wakes up alone, and head towards the bedroom. It is surprisingly easy to get her to let go of you and you deposit Minnie into her bed. You place her toys beside her and tuck her in, careful to not jostle her. You dare to kiss her forehead before pulling away.

As you turn to leave your bedroom, your window catches your eye. It is closed, but in front of it is a little table.

Just like in your living room. There is a table under the window, with more than a few knick knacks on it.

Your brow furrows and you return to the main living area. Matt has found his way back to the table and is drinking his glass of wine.

"Is she good?" He asks, setting down his glass and turning to face you.

"She didn't wake up at all, I think she's down for the count," you say, glancing towards where your window is before looking back to Matt. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," is his instant reply. You take a moment to look him over, from his fluffy hair, to the tomato sauce now on his shirt, to his fancy loafers, before returning to his handsome face.

"Matt…how did you know where the window is?"

tags list:

@midnightreids @cloudroomblog @yeonalie @thychuvaluswife

@dorothleah @mattmurdocksstarlight @mars-on-vinyl @mywellspringoflife @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @simmilarly @soupyspence @darkened-writer @akila-twt

@murc0ckmurc0ck @groovycass @sumo-b98 @just3rowsing @tongueofcat @zoom1374

@theclassicvinyldragon @aoi-targaryen @lunaticgurly @nikitawolfxo @shireentapestry @snakevyro @yondiii @echos-muses @honeybug-victoria @the-bisaster @ristare @mrs-bellingham @eugene-emt-roe @cometenthusiast @stevenknightmarc @hunnybelha @

Specialagentjackbauer @yarrystyleeza @ofmusesandsecrets

@mayp11-blog @danzer8705 @thinking-at-dusk @remuslupinwifee @akila-twt @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @dil3mma @allllium @

two-unbeatable-beaters

#soulie writes #fanfiction #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #daredevil #and then i met you

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chrollohearttags · 1 year

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bed time • a. artlert

I cannot get over the idea of armin trying to help his little insomniac, gamer girlfriend get some rest, putting her to sleep the best way he knows how 😮‍💨🥴

cw: nerdy, bratty, blackfem!reader, mean, dom armin (he’s so aggressive in this 😫), choking, fucking reader in her gaming chair, heavy squirting, overstimulation, degradation, pet names (sweetheart, angel, daddy’s used a couple times), name calling, spit kink, fingering, aftercare

📝: I was supposed to put this out last night but I got preoccupied and didn’t finish so here y’all go! 🫶🏾

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“Dude, you totally could’ve taken that shot. The fuck are you doing?” The sounds of (y/n)’s irate voice ringing throughout the bedroom. It was the late night hours of a relaxed Saturday night, possibly into Sunday..you hadn’t been vexed to check the time as you were busy smashing away at keys on your computer and shouting into your headset. Wired frame glasses sitting atop your pretty face, lights reflecting off of your tiny silver nose stud and your newly installed wet and wavy locks resting underneath the large pink bonnet atop them, along with your cat eared headset. This was a regular occurrence, one that took place more so often than you’d like to admit. It wasn’t rare for you to be up at all hours of the night, playing online games with friends, even at the expense of your own rest. It was a nasty habit, one you formed after pulling all night study sessions. Now you were a full blown insomniac with seemingly no end in sight. Although, there was one person who wasn’t too thrilled about the sudden shift in your sleep patterns… “..come on, (y/n). It’s three am. What are you still doing awake?” The first words to leave the mouth of your long time boyfriend and sweetheart, Armin as he burst through the door of your designated game room. He himself was certainly no stranger to this lifestyle and would happily hop on matches with you..at a reasonable hour of course. But that was never the case with you! Always up until the asscrack of dawn, playing game after game instead of going to bed. But now that he was spending the next couple of weeks at your place, he wasn’t having it. Suddenly, snickers could be heard through the feed of your headphones and talking to you. “Is that your boyfriend, (y/n)? How sweet..” rolling your eyes and smacking your lips at the sarcastic joke of one of your friends. “Shut the hell up. He’s just coming to check on me.” He was standing in the doorframe, shirt off and pajama pants dangling on his v-line..a tattoo each on his chest and forearm decorating his skin; looking good as always.

taking his fingers through the blonde shag atop his head, he’d make his way over to your chair, resting his arms atop the front. He had grown alarmed as is when you’d text him up well up into four am or try to FaceTime when he was so exhausted. It just didn’t occur to him how bad the problem truly was until he visited. He had all but had to drag you off of it and he was really scared for your mental and physical health. “Sorry guys, I’ve been busted. Baby says I gotta go to sleep.” Although you weren’t too thrilled to do so. However, he’d be disappointed to find that you had no plans to go easily. Even so, you’d log off and take off your headset. Turning in your chair in a frustrated huff. However, Armin was not swayed by your tiny tantrum. “Don’t give me that look. You promised you’d get some rest. At this rate, babe, you’re not going to be able to keep going.” You heard what he was saying well enough, too bad his words weren’t quite registering. You were still wired up, hyper and amped as always. Possibly it was the Red Bull coursing your veins or adrenaline from another win but being stopped mid game was truly putting a damper in your mood. “Arminnnnn. I’m fine..I swear, you worry too much.” That agitated and pouty look on your precious face was doing nothing more than fueling his point. “(Y/N), you’re going to bed. That’s it. Now come on. Tell your little friends good night and let’s go to sleep.” When he got like this, it wasn’t in your best interest to attest him but you couldn’t help yourself! It was always fun to push his buttons and poke the bear.

“And if I don’t want to, then what?” Folding your arms across your chest, batting those fluttery lashes and giving him quite the irritated glare. Granted, Armin was used to you being defiant when it came to this but he wasn’t much in the way of arguing with you tonight. Especially with exams coming up and him having to go to work in the morning. The last thing he wanted was to find you collapsed on the floor, in front of the computer after your body gives out. Which has happened! “(Y/N), don’t start. I’m not doing this with you.” Feinting his frustration through a laugh as he stood before your chair. Arms outstretched on each side and towering over you..you couldn’t lie, it was a bit of a turn on! “Well last I checked, Armin, I am a grown woman and I can stay up all night if I want to. Now let me finish—“ but before you could spin around in your chair, defiant and purposely being a brat, he’d spin it right back around and keep it in place. “Do you really wanna try me right now? Because I wouldn’t advise it, sweetheart. Do not piss me off..get up..now.” that low, sexy growl creeping into his tone and it was then that you knew you’d only need to press just a tad bit more to get the reaction you needed. Truth be told, you were beginning to get a bit tired…. “Make me..”

but it was far more exciting to let him fuck you to sleep!

he knew that you were baiting him along, Armin wasn’t dumb by a long shot. You were only stalling to get him riled up. Normally, he wouldn’t think to bite..dismissing you altogether but since you just kept asking for it, he’d give you what you needed: to be put to bed and in your place! Chuckling to himself, Armin would try and calmly respond but it was blatantly obvious that you wouldn’t allow it. Instead, he’d grasp your throat; lightly choking you but with enough force to keep you pinned to the chair. Eliciting a loud gasp from between your lips..gaze fixated solely on him from this point forward. “Remember..you asked for this..” just then, he’d shove his tongue through your pursed lips, permeating the inside of your mouth with sloppy kisses. Ones that took you completely off guard and caused you to whimper underneath his grasp. At this point, you had made your bed and now it was time to lie in it. He gave you an option to get up of your own accord but now? You’d be lucky if you were able to even walk once he finished! Amid the makeout session, Armin slowly but surely began to peel off those thin articles of clothing, exposing those perky titties which were his favorite..your dark hued nipples hardening the second they made contact with the cool air. He wasn’t about to give you an opportunity for the slightest bit of control and that much was apparent when he began massaging those big breasts, fixating on them for a moment but when you tried to put your hands up to assist him, he’d quickly push them away, pinning them to the arms.

“Did I ask for your help?..”

“ ‘Min, I—“

“That’s what I thought. Get those fucking hands out of my way.”

it was something about his sudden aggression and domineering attitude that would turn you on beyond relief. Releasing a couple gasps, you’d chew your bottom lip and allow him to take the reins. From there, he’d nip at your neck, growling and suckling on the sensitive skin. Eventually, he’d pull back those thin shorts and sink his hand inside. He wanted to see your reactions..those cute little faces you made when he was pleasuring you. Burying those digits to the knuckle inside of your warmth and circling your clit with his thumb pad, all while not breaking eye contact once..yeah, you definitely had pissed him off something fierce! “Open your legs, put them on the side of the chair and don’t move until I say so..” positioning yourself in sort of a stir up. It was then that he’d hoist them and remove your shorts to render your bottom half completely nude. It didn’t take long to realize how aroused you were by his sudden shift in demeanor. Your normally sweet Armin was so irate, that he was handling you like a rag doll. Parting your thigh, slapping your ass and clutching your neck. “..such a brat..always giving me a hard time..” muttering to himself as he continued working you over with those middle and index digits; pushing in and out, going slow just to stir up that building slick. Coating his hand and palm with the slippery substance. You were so adorable, attempting to resist and defy him, knowing damn well that you’d only wind up caving to him eventually. Hell, your insides were already two steps ahead of your mind; conforming to his shape! Twisting your head away from him, only to have it forcefully snatched back.

“But you only do it because you know I’ll fuck that little attitude out of you, don’t you?” Grinning with a sinister glare as he sped up his movements. Sounds of sloshing wetness coagulating with your sexy little cries and the squeaking of the chair. “Answer me, sweetheart. Don’t be rude.” And at the moment, you were practically trembling for him and Armin was more than happy to see that sight “..y-yes, daddy!” That bulge was beginning to grow ever so slightly from behind his sweats and you were the reason. Getting his dick all hard when you defied him. It made it all the more satisfying to break you when you acted this way. Going from rolling your arms to not even being able to keep them in the front of your head as he made you climax. To smacking those pretty little lips to having them wrapped around his cock when he throatfucked you for testing his patience…see, to the outside world, he appeared as sweet and innocent but you knew better! Nobody could handle you the way he could and he’d be damned if you kept trying it. He’d continue to press at your spot, mashing against that sensitive nerve to evoke more out of you. Those blonde locks of his straggled in front of your face as he pressed your foreheads together. “Aww, so you haven’t completely lost your mind. Open your mouth, right now.” Prompting you to do so to spit between your jaws. So he could force your head down and make you regurgitate it back into your folds. It was almost pathetic how desperate you looked, bogged down on his hand; squirming in an attempt to take him further. He knew what it was that you needed..craved more than anything and that was to be crammed full of his dick! It was almost disgusting how badly he had been dreaming of doing this exact thing. Fucking you in this very position. Piping you with those eight inches as you played your little games…it gave him a rush to think about all your friends hearing you get fucked senseless. And alas, it had come to fruition. Those little legs dangling off the sides of the chair arms and shaking violently. Before any of that could happen though..he needed something else and that was to make you come. Just one time of many..

“I’m!—Baby, I’m gonna come, pleaseee.” But that was sufficient enough for him. No, if that’s what you wanted, you better have begged for it. “Are you? Last time I checked, that’s not how you ask for permission, sweetheart. Act like you’ve done this before.” That condescending tone twisting your stomach up in knots. But not for any reason other than the fact that he’d always know how to handle you..making you act accordingly whether you wanted to or not.

“Please, can I come?! Please, ‘Min..” and because you groveled so sweetly, he had no choice but to grant your wish. Clutching your shoulder blade, Armin doubled down on his fast pace, hammering into you until you drenched him in that shower of your sweet cum; bringing you to a squirting orgasm with only his two fingers. “That’s right, baby. Let it out..my pretty little slut, squirting all over this chair..fuck yes.” Listening to you cry out in pure ecstasy as you came. “Fuck! Fuck!..” This man was not to be messed with but it was a lesson you’d soon learn. Instilled and implanted in your head until you knew better not to pull this stunt again. It wasn’t until you came to did you see the aftermath but this was just a mere taste of what he had in store. Removing them from inside of your tightness to your tongue, where he had you sucking them clean. That look in your eyes was one of neediness. As if you were longing for far more after that. Whilst you were busy tasting yourself, Armin was getting ready to have his fair share of fun. Tugging down those sweats to reveal his erection, immediately stroking it in his palm. “I wanna fuck you so bad..make you nut all over this dick..” his voice cracking and going high pitched as you watched that precum leak from his tip. Swollen and beaming red, you knew he needed to feel you immediately..and with that warm, dripping little hole all stretched out for him, it was the perfect place. Taking his thumb and pointer, Armin would part those plump lips and suck his teeth. “..that fat little pussy..she’s so wet for me, isn’t she? Let me in it…just like that.” Talking you through as he penetrated that warmth. One thing your man could always agree on was how good that pussy was. No matter how mad you made him, he was going to forgive you the second he could fuck you. And just for troubling him tonight, he was going to need more of those waterworks.

“Mmmm..give me that dick. I wanna feel you so deep up in it..” he wasn’t much for letting you make demands right now but with the way you felt suctioned around his shaft, he’d give you the whole world if you asked for it. “Look at how good you take me, angel…creaming on it. Goddamn, I love you..” having to laugh off his own weakness to your mix. You’d both watch as it slid in, disappearing with each aching inch being shoved into your walls. But it wasn’t until he’d start to move did he regain a semblance of control. Squelching noises arising with each slow push..smacking skin filling the room along with those shuddered whimpers from Armin and (y/n). At that point, you were only fitting him halfway; the curvature of his cock hooked inside of you and trying to hit your g-spot. He knew all the pressure points and ways to make you tick. To have you climbing these walls and crying out for him all night. With your legs occupying the arms of the chairs, you’d toss your hands to the back of it, clawing into the headrest as he fed you those deep strokes and his palm returned to your throat to keep you focused on him.. “That’s it..look at me. Look me in the eyes when you take this dick. I know it feels so good, doesn’t it, sweetheart? You’re my baby but you like it when I fuck you like my little whore, right?” And it was then that you were starting to cave! Melting in his grasp as he mixed up those insides. After fitting only four or so inches, enough to get you stirred up, he’d push in a couple more until he was nearly buried at the hilt. Those heavy balls slapping against your ass.. “I love it, I love it so fucking much! Thank you..” knowing that he had broken you down and got into your head now. All of that instilled in your empty little brain that when he asked you to do something, you’d listen. Of course, you weren’t the only caving and cracking under the powerful sensation. “Mmm! You’re fucking me so good, daddy..keep going, right there..!” whining so helplessly as you remained impaled on his dick. Only mere minutes away from releasing yet again. He didn’t care how many times you came. If you flooded the floor, the chair or anything in your vicinity, you were going to make a mess for him and do so until he felt like stopping. Pinning you to that seat with all his force, Armin fucked up into you relentlessly, with no intention to slow down. Those beautiful tits bouncing with each stroke. Not even when he accidentally coaxed out more of that liquid; this time spraying his chiseled abs in the process. Something about that sight drove him crazy. “Oh my God…you’re squirting. You’re doing so good for me!..stay just like that, don’t move..” he’d prompt you to maintain that pose, thrusting a little faster until he nearly knocked you back into your desk. Meanwhile, the static feed from your headphones could be heard out of earshot. Mumbling from your friends; speculating of what they were hearing at the moment were you and your man in the midst of a rough fuck session. And they’d be correct. They had been on the receiving end of your moans and cries, cursing back at each other in lust filled fury. The two of you would continue on for at least another ten minutes or so. Exchanging orgasms and expletives until either of you could muster up another drop. Ending with him spilling his seed all inside of that fertile womb. But by the end of it all, he'd fulfilled his mission well enough. Your eyes were damn near shut and you were hardly coherent.

“Aww..tired, angel?” Knowing he wouldn’t elicit a real response, he’d just laugh as you nodded your head. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up..” getting himself together so that he could hoist you in his arms and carry you to the bed. It was there where he’d lay you down carefully and go retrieve a warm washcloth; wiping over your sore body and changing you into something warmer and less drenched. All the while, you were fading further into slumber. It didn’t take him long to get you situated but once he did, he’d cover you with a warm blanket, too your forehead with a loving kiss and whisper into your ear;

“…goodnight, angel.”

knowing you’d gladly let him put you to sleep if he did it like this.

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redtsundere-writes · 7 months

Text

Out Of My League | Heartsteel Kayn / Rhaast

Heartsteel Kayn / Rhaast x f!reader

Part 1: Facecheck.

Part 2. Part 3. Part 4.

Sypnosis: A chronically online girl doesn´t know that her Discord friend may be someone she already knows.

Contents: Modern AU, High school AU, a lot of bad jokes and meme references. No warnings.

Word count: 2023 (omg this year)

Author's Note: So... this gremlin's birthday was yesterday and since he has been on my mind lately. I decided to write him a fic cause why not?

Thanks to @mclovin1803 for helping me with proofreading and picking a title. (If this is out of charcater, blame him)

You were the exact definition of an introvert. You weren't good at talking to people you didn't know, your social battery doesn't last long, and you get excited when your friends cancel plans at the last minute. You like your loneliness and spending the afternoon playing video games and your guitar.

As an introvert, you didn't have many friends aside from a few classmates and some family members you were close with. Luckily, you had several friends on Discord. Among them was someone by the username of Rhaast. You didn't chat with him often because he wasn't as chronically online as you were, but he knew you were always down to play League of Legends with him.

One night while you were comfortably playing the new Super Mario Wonder on the switch, you received a message from Rhaast.

@Rhaast: League?

It had been two weeks since you had last played together, so you put the Switch aside and accepted. You opened League and put your headphones on to hop on the call with your friend.

"Hello there," you greeted him like Obi Wan as you waited for Rhaast to enter the game. He laughed at the reference. He had a deep, kinda seductive voice. You didn't know for sure if he was pretending or if he really talked like that.

"How have you been?," you asked while looking for your nightly playlist on Spotify to set the mood.

"Great. Yesterday I went out with a girl and today I broke up with her." You rolled your eyes at the comment. You knew Rhaast was quite the heartbreaker for discarding women like they were underwear. Personally, you didn't like that about your friend.

"And now why did you break up with this one,?" you asked as you started the game.

"I only went out with her once and she was already bugging me. My phone kept ringing because of her, so I blocked her," Rhaast answered with a chuckle. “Thank God I'll never date this asshole,” you thought.

"I wish there were more girls like you. You wait for me to send you a message and you are always down to play with me." He said while locking in Zed as his champion while you locked in Qiyana.

"I’m always down to play with you because I don't have any friends, not because I like you." You kamikazed by words.

"Damn, and I thought you had a crush for me," Rhaast joked. "Come to think of it, you never tell me anything about your love life," He suggested so he could hear some gossip.

"I haven't told you because I don't have any," you said, pretending to cry. Rhaast laughed at your foolish performance.

"Come on, you must have at least a crush or something," he insisted curiously as the game began. There was no one you liked... but someone caught your eye.

You felt like a fool for getting nervous every time you saw Kayn and his group of friends walk past you in the hallways. Kayn was a popular kid from a higher grade. He was good at sports, had good grades, was a member of an upcoming band, and was always surrounded by friends, while you were the complete opposite. You knew you shouldn't be nervous seeing him around because there was no chance that he would have the slightest interest in you. The majority of girls in your class drooled over him, so he was free to choose whoever he wanted. Why would he choose you?

Also, you had no good reason to go over and talk to him. The only chance you had, you blew it. You still cringe at yourself at night when you remember that moment. In your first days of high school, you had no friends and you just started learning to play guitar. When you tried to leave the music room that day, you ran into a tall boy with pink hair, perfect black eyebrows that indicated the true color of his hair, piercings decorating his ears, a pointy nose and a magnificent athletic body. Everything about him could catch anyone's attention but his most striking feature was his beautiful eyes with heterochromia, his left eye was green and the right; red. You were a moth and he was an RGB lightbulb that demanded your attention.

You stood paralyzed infront of him. You clutched your music sheet notebook to your chest in nervousness. He was way too attractive and you didn't know how to feel about it. You tried to greet him but only stutters came out of your mouth. It was true that you weren't good at starting conversations but you had never been at a loss for words.

"Can you move? I want to get in," he asked while looking at you as if you were an inferior being.

"Ah... Yes-s, I'm s-sorry." You couldn't help your stutter as you stepped aside so he could enter the room. The Adonis didn't say anything else, but your eyes were still glued on him. The boy saw you watching him without shame.

"Can I help you with something?" He asked directly. You quickly shook your head and ran out of the room. “You are so stupid, you made yourself look like you have never seen a man!” You thought embarrassed as you felt your face getting hot. This was definitely your canon event.

One day, Rhaast sent you an ad. Riot was hosting a promotional convention for players at the capital at the end of the month.

@Rhaast: You goin'?

You: Maybe, sounds good.

@Rhaast: Let me know if you goin'.

You: Are you?

@Rhaast: If you go, I'll go.

You: K.

Thus the days passed until the day of the event arrived. You got ready with your best clothes: A K/DA sweatshirt, freshly washed pants, and the least dirty sneakers you had. You left your apartment nervously to finally touch some grass and meet your friend in real life. After a tedious subway ride, you arrived at the convention center where the event was taking place.

You: I'm here. Where are you?

@Rhaast: Wait for me at the entrance. I'm almost there.

You saw that there were several people waiting for their respective friends at the entrance, so you decided to stay in that area. You waited patiently while playing on your phone until you heard some girls next to you get excited.

"Look, it's Kayn, he looks so good!" They whisper to each other. You looked up quickly when you heard that name and, sure enough, the Adonis was there. “What is Kayn doing here?!” you thought as you tried to hide behind your phone as if you pretended he wasn't there, but your eyes traveled quickly between the screen and him. He was wearing a black crop with a jacket on top, tight pants and silver chains on his neck, fingers and waist. “Oh no, he's hot!” You thought nervously, wanting to run away. Your heart wasn't taking it.

You felt envious when the girls next to you didn't hesitate to approach him. Seeing the confidence they had to greet and talk to him, you felt that they had already known each other before. “I wish I could do that,” you thought.

"I didn't know you played League." One of the girls commented.

"I don´t play much," Kayn answered without taking much notice. Looking cool as heck.

"Are you here alone?" The other girl asked.

"Well, I'm meeting with a friend. I'll call her, " he said while searching for his friend's contact on his phone.

*Incoming call from Rhaast*

Out of nowhere, your phone started ringing from an incoming call on Discord. It was Rhaast. “No way,” you thought as you looked at Kayn and your cell phone simultaneously. “No, this must be a coincidence” you thought before answering.

"I'm here, where are you?" Your knees felt weak as Kayn spoke the words he was hearing over the phone. “Kayn is Rhaast?!” you thought in disbelief.

Kayn quickly found you and your eyes met. The last time that happened was a year ago. You knew Rhaast for over two years. That meant that Kayn, the cutest boy in school, had heard your horrible jokes, your fangirl screams when you saw Faker at almost every World Cup, and your burps for two years. You wanted the earth to swallow you whole at that moment.

"Oh, there she is. See ya," he hung up the call and said goodbye to his friends. He approached you while you were dying internally. You were lucky a wall was holding you up because you were sure you were going to pass out at any moment. “Breathe, maybe he doesn't remember you,” you thought.

"Hey! Why didn't you tell me we went to the same school, snake girl?" he joked. You covered your face in shame with your hands. “He does remember!” You thought, defeated. You still didn't believe that Kayn was still talking to you.

"Shut up, Rhaast… I mean, Kayn." You said, pulling your face out of its hiding spot. Kayn smiled, looking at your blushing cheeks.

"So you know me," he said confidently.

"How can I not know you? My classmates can't stop talking about you," you said defensively.

"I don't mean that," he said as he brought his face closer to yours. You backed up as far as the wall would allow you.

"Just look at you, you're crazy for me." He mocked in a flirting way. You couldn't help but to blush once again.

He was right, not only did he caught your eye, you liked him. You liked him more than you thought. Not because he was the popular Kayn, who is in a band and all the girls fight over him, but because he was also Rhaast. The one guy who laughed at your horrible jokes, the one who didn't criticize you every time you screamed when you saw Faker and burped when you did to match your energy.

"Ha! Says the guy that I always carry,” you mocked him back. Kayn laughed. That laugh that made you feel better in the small corner of your room.

"That's my girl!" He said before taking your hand. You blushed at the unexpectedly intimate act. His hand gently squeezed yours to guide you to the convention entrance.

You spent the whole afternoon chatting and spending all your money on merchandise. You got to know Kayn better than you ever thought. He was a little bit blunt, but nicer than you pictured. It was like you were seeing the other side of Rhaast. Kayn also got to know you on another level when you started to feel comfortable around him. You were a girl with whom he could see himself talking for many hours everyday without getting bored, something he had not felt with anyone else.

You and Kayn said goodbye to a wonderful day together. Both felt their hearts beating like crazy for each other. You had spent the entire day together but you still missed each other once you parted ways. You arrived home and then threw yourself on the bed to start screaming about the exciting day you just had. You had finally talked to Kayn and he seemed to like you. And boy did he like you...

The next day, another school day had ended, so you decided to go to the music room. On your way, you saw Kayn and his friends heading towards the exit. Finally, you got the courage to do something you've always wanted to do.

"Hey, Kayn!" You called him from your place. He turned around to see you among the other students passing by in the hallway.

"Wanna play later?" You asked, blushing lightly for attracting his attention. His friends began to tease him that a girl was talking to him that way, but he didn't care. Kayn smiled as he saw you standing there, blushing but determined.

"You know I do!" He said before turning around and getting back with his friends. You smiled. Maybe he wouldn't have chosen you before, but now you had a chance.

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Masterlist.

#kayn #heartsteel #heartsteel kayn #league of legends #fluff #fanfiction #fic #rhaast #fanfic #modern au #high school #high school au #kayn league of legends #zed #x reader #kayn x reader #kayn lol #shieda kayn

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thefallennightmare · 8 months

Text

Miracle-nine

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Warnings/Tropes: forced proximity, slight enemies to lovers, slow burn, smut, angst, fluff, mentions of death, and swearing.

Summary: Reader is the merch girl for Bad Omens. It wasn't what she wanted to do with her life but when her mother got sick with Alzheimer's, reader took a job where she could to help with the costs. She thought it would be a one-time gig but the longer she was on the road with them, the harder she fell for Noah Sebastian; even if he wanted nothing to do with her. She needed a miracle to save her mom and her future.

Author Note: it wouldn't be a story of mine if there weren't some kinds of angst.

Tags: @ada-clarence @nonamessblog @thescarlettvvitch @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @theoneandonlykymberlee @yumikitten @blackveilomens @cherrymedicine13 @thebadchic @notmaddihealy @jay02bo @beaker1636 @jakekiszkasguitarpick @punk-pr1ncessxoxo @er3nslovergirl @iamdesolate @lma1986 @jessitpwk @themodern-daywednesday @writethrough @bngurngheart @dreams-that-are-anwsered @loeytuan98

I sat in the darkness of my hotel room, the only light being cast from the television as I watched the random movie. Even though it was nearing one in the afternoon, I had pulled the curtain closed so I didn't have to bother to look outside. It was a long drive to San Francisco, and I was exhausted. The guys had an interview with a local radio station here before we headed back home to Los Angeles for their two-night show. They said I could head back home with the crew on their bus but to be honest; I enjoyed riding with them because the aura and vibe was comforting. Not saying the crews bus was terrible, but it was constant noise so that's why I stayed on Bad Omen's bus which is why I was in San Francisco with them.

Plus, seeing Noah more than usual was a deciding factor.

Noah texted me a while ago asking if I wanted to grab some lunch before their interview, but I declined, needing some time alone. I woke up this morning in one of those moods where you're sad for no reason and everything irritates you. It didn't help that I read some comments online about me that weren't so nice. Someone took a picture last night of Noah hooking his fingers in my jeans and pulling me back into him. That and the speech he made about me last night, rumors online were circulating, and I didn't like any of them.

I knew I shouldn't let those words bother me but it did, the worst of it saying how I was a roadie and most likely slept with someone in the band to work with them.

Technically, Noah and I fooled around twice but both times he got me off. I've barely touched him in that way which should say something, right? He was willing to pleasure me getting nothing in return.

A knock sounded on the hotel room door made me let out a loud sigh and I dragged my feet to the door, opening it to find Folio standing on the other side of it. He lifted a bag of takeout with a smile.

"Hungry?"

At the smell and mention of food, my stomach growled, so I moved to the side letting him in.

"Shouldn't you be leaving for the interview soon?" I asked while shutting off the television.

"It's at seven so I thought I'd bring you something to eat. No one's seen you all morning." Folio said while setting the food out on the coffee table in the room.

I shrugged while sitting on the couch. "I've been here, not in the mood to talk."

Folio sat next to me as we ate the burgers and fries he brought.

"Everything alright?"

"I guess," I sighed with hesitation. "I read some things online about me."

"Why'd you do that?" He wondered.

"I don't know. I posted some pictures from last night's show on the band's Instagram, but all people could talk about was me and Noah. And it wasn't nice things."

Folio set down his takeout box and cleaned his hands on a napkin while I could only eat half of the burger before closing the box.

"You can't let what people online say about you bother you so much, Y/N. You know the truth about you and Noah; not them." Folio gave my knee a reassuring squeeze.

I then pulled my legs into my chest and wrapped my arm around them. "I don't even know what the truth is. We're not together and it was my choice. I want to take things so because I've got so much going on at home that the last thing I need is to focus on a relationship."

A shaky breath left my trembling lips before I continued. "Noah said he'd wait for me until I was ready for one but what if he gets bored and moves on to someone who's willing to give him what he wants?"

Folio propped his chin on his hand as he rested it against the back of the couch.

"Noah isn't like that. I've known him a long time, and he's always been loyal. He's agreeing to take things slow with you, right?"

When I reluctantly nodded, Folio continued. "So you have to trust him. Noah likes you, he's willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you don't go anywhere. And if you're worried he's going to read what people said about you, don't. He's stopped posting for this reason."

Talking with Folio eased some of my worry but it did little to stop the nagging voice in my head that Noah would hurt me.

"I'm afraid I'm going to fall so hard for him I'm going to get burned if it doesn't work out," I admitted with a hushed tone.

"Falling for someone is scary but you can't let those fears stop you from finding happiness, Y/N. I know Noah was an asshole to you in the beginning for his own dumb reasons but he's willing to prove to you how much he cares about you," Folio rested his hand on my shoulder.

I patted it with a small smile and wanted to change the subject, ready to talk about anything else when my phone rang form its spot on the end table by the bed. Hopping over the couch, I answered it in time to see Lana calling.

"Give me a minute?" I asked Folio.

When he nodded, I walked out onto the balcony, the warm afternoon air brushing across my skin.

"Hello?"

"Hi dear, how're things?" Lana's cheery voice made me smile.

I spent the next few minutes catching up with her, every once in a while catching Folio's curious gaze through the sliding glass door. It was no secret that I took these phone calls daily now asking about my mom but no one really asked why. Noah tried, but I shut that down immediately.

Suddenly, a loud commotion sounded from her end of yelling and I stood straighter while clutching the phone to my ear.

"Lana, what's going on?"

Some rustling before her voice came through. "It's the Mikalson's from next door. They said they caught your mother in their living room, with their young daughter in her lap."

Mother fucker, this was bad.

The Mikalson's moved in about six months ago and kept to themselves so I didn't bother telling them about my mother's disease. But now that they found her with their daughter I wasn't sure what they were going to do.

"Did you try to explain?" I asked through a rushed breath.

"Yes, but they didn't bother to understand. They're threatening to call the cops."

"Fuck," I spat and began pacing the balcony. "Can I talk to them? Maybe if they hear it from me, they might change their minds."

The only thing I heard for the next few minutes was Lana's voice sounding far away so I assumed she dropped the phone so she could talk to the Mikalson's. I still was pacing with the phone clutched tightly to my ear with one hand and the other on my racing heart. Folio stepped out on the balcony, concern etched in his features.

"What's going on?" He asked.

Just then Lana's voice returned to the phone. "It's alright, I've talked them down. But they're not happy. They said if it happens again, they won't bother waiting before calling the cops."

Cursing, I ran a hand through my hair, feeling the sudden weight of everything crash down on my chest and the dam burst open with a flood of tears. They ran down my face before I could even hide them from Folio, who immediately brought me into his arms, hands rubbing slow, soothing circles on my back.

"Thank you, Lana," I sobbed into the phone. "I'll be home tomorrow morning and you can take the two days off."

She didn't bother to argue, both of us knowing it was the truth. Without saying another word, I hung up the phone and let it fall to the ground as my arms wrapped around Folios back. We stayed like that for a while; me crying into his shirt and him soft embrace easing away the pain for that time being.

"What's going on?" he finally asked.

Reluctantly, I pulled away from him and wiped away the rest of the stray tears. I could say nothing, lie, or tell him the truth. Folio was becoming a good friend of mine and I knew I could trust he wouldn't say anything to Noah or the rest of the guys.

"It's my mom," I choked out. "She's sick, and it's been so stressful dealing with it while I'm here. There's been a caregiver with her but-."

I trailed off, not wanting to go further into any detail about my mom. This was good enough for Folio because his thumb wiped away another tear that fell and nodded as if he could read my mind of why I didn't want to say anything else.

"I won't tell anyone," Folio promised.

"Thank you," I sniffled. "This is why I'm so apprehensive to start a relationship with Noah because how can I focus on him when my life back home is a fucking mess."

"He'd understand, Y/N."

I shook my head. "No, he can't know. Please?"

Another secret of mine for Folio to keep from Noah.

Eventually he nodded while stuffing his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans. The sound of a door opening behind us gave us pause as we looked over to the balcony from the room next door. Nick eyed the two of us with furrowed brows.

"Noah's been trying to call you," he nodded towards Folio.

"Oh shit. I left my phone in Y/N's room." Folio informed.

Nick's eyes bounced between us. "I was going to give Noah a tattoo, and he wanted to know if you two wanted to come watch."

I still said nothing, simply kept my gaze and my feet so Folio nudge my arm. "Come on, it'll be good for you not to be alone right now."

There was a part of me that wanted to argue but ultimately knew he was right so all I did was nod.

"Let me change real quick and I'll be over," I said to Nick.

He nodded before giving Folio one last glance and retreated into the room next door. I went to walk past Folio but his gentle touch on my elbow gave me pause.

"If you want to talk more, you know I'm here for you right?"

I gave him a genuine smile. "Of course, Folio. Thank you."

NOAH

"Did you find Folio?" Jolly asked Nick as he came back inside.

"Yeah, he was in Y/N's room," he threw a thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the room next door.

I stiffened in my spot on the couch as jealousy ran through me. Why were the two of them hanging out alone? After she declined to go to lunch with me earlier? I tried not to let it bother me, knowing that she and Folio were friends. They cared about each other but not the way she and I cared about each other. I had no reason to be jealous because we weren't technically together but it still irritated me that she chose to hang with him instead of me today.

With my hood pulled over my head, I sunk deeper into the couch and brought out my phone to send a text to Y/N.

Are you coming over?

Her response was almost immdiate and it made my heart do that stupid little flutter it did everytime she was around.

Yea, just changing.

My fingers typed a fast response.

If the guys weren't here, I'd say come over wearing nothing.

It took a few minutes before she responded.

Cheeky, aren't we?

For you, angel? Always.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and Jolly let Folio in first slowly followed by Y/N, who's eyes were red and puffy; almost as if she was crying. Our gazes locked and instantly I sat up, patting the spot next to me on the couch.

She hesitantly made her way over to me and when she was within reach, I wrapped an arm around her to pull me into her chest.

"What's wrong?"

I felt her stiffen in my embrace as her hands loosely wrapped around me.

"I'm fine, just a long morning that's all."

Her voice sounded sad, almost broken, as she slowly pulled away but remained sitting next to me. I didn't buy that for shit but didn't bother prying more into what was bothering her. Instead, I looked towards Folio who motioned for me to come over. He was leaning against the door to Nick's room and when I crossed the way to him; he let out a deep sigh.

"Look before you assume some shit went down with Y/N and I, nothing happened. I brought her lunch, and she got a phone call," he said.

"A phone call?" I asked.

Folio ran a hand through his hair, eyes darting over to Y/N, who didn't bother glancing our way. She kept her hands folded in her lap while she roughly chewed on her bottom lip as if she was trying her damnest not to break down.

"It's not my business to tell exactly what but she's dealing with some things with her mom."

I then remebered the phone call outside the coffee shop with her mom and stuffed my hands deep into the pocket of my sweater.

"Noah," Folio's voice turned serious. "You need to make sure she knows that you're serous about her. She's questioning a lot right now so reassure her that your feelings are genuine."

"They are," I defended with a clenched jaw.

"I know that. But she doesn't," he motioned to Y/N.

Leaving him, I stalked back to the couch and sat in my previous spot. Y/N didn't bother to look away from her clasped hands so I lifted her chin so she had to look at me.

"So, what design is Nick going to tattoo?" I asked, hoping this would lighten her darkened mood.

Nick was setting up his tattoo gun while Jolly and Folio sat on the edge of the bed, talking quietly to themselves.

Y/N shrugged, no ounce of light behind her eyes or emotion on his voice. "I don't care, Noah. You don't have to do this. It was a stupid bet."

"Angel," I began, but she cut me off with a hard stare.

"I don't care," she repeated. "Get Bart Simpson with face tattoo's or a black cat, it's going to be on your body for the rest of your life. I can't be the one that makes you get a tattoo you'll regret."

I blinked taking aback by her outburst. She wasn't yelling but her voice was thick with anger. Realizing she snapped, Y/N let out a shaky breath then leaned her head against my shoulder, our fingers linking.

"I'm sorry," she apologized.

My lips left gentle kisses on her hairline and squeezed her hand. "It's alright."

Once Nick was set up, I quietly told him what to tattoo so Y/N wouldn't hear then sat back with her while he tattooed the small design on my right thumb.

Having her this close to me with her scent engulfing my senses, my heart thundered hard against the confines of my chest. From the first day she came to work with us, Y/N had this effect on me. I couldn't get her out of my head and my heart. She was like a drug and once I got a taste for her; I needed more. My cock throbbed in my sweats when I remembered the pictures she posted on her Only Fan's last night. While the one in the bus's bunk was sexy, my favorite was the one of her in the bathroom while wearing our shirt, for obvious reasons.

Anger gripped tight at my stomach when I realized others are seeing those pictures, knowing what she looks like underneath her clothes. But it wasn't like I could tell her to stop posting; we weren't dating yet.

"Hey," I said softly while shaking her arm. "How about we get some food after the radio interview, just the two of us?"

She lifted her head from my shoulder to look at me. "Like a date?"

I smiled. "Yeah."

With the way her eyes twinkled, I knew she liked the idea until they cast down to the now finished tattoo on my thumb. She sucked in a breath as her body tensed, eyes now wide with some emotion I couldn't pinpoint.

"Why'd you get that?"

The tone of her voice was high pitched, mortified as she pushed away from me.

"You won the bet, so I thought it made sense," I shrugged, not realizing she would get this upset over the tattoo.

Y/N stood to her feet with a start and ran a hand through her hair, making her way to the door.

"This is moving to fast. I need to be alone."

The door to the room slammed shut, and it left all four of us staring at it confused, with me gazing down to my thumb at the dark lines of my new tattoo; small, black angel wings.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #forced proximity #enemies to lovers #slow burn

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theladyofbloodshed · 9 months

Text

You're The Closest To Heaven I'll Ever Be - Chapter Three

(If you read the Wings & Embers nessian chapter online, let's pretend it happened but there was no neck nuzzling)

Blood rubies. Damned blood rubies. Azriel had advised against any trip to the Summer Court with a new, untested high lord. They hadn’t yet got the full measure of Tarquin beyond his ambition and desire to see his court succeed. As always, Rhys knew best and cared little for the consequence because he was confident in Velaris’ security. He’d risked himself to get the book that Amren was translating. Then the three chicken-egg sized rubies had been presented to Azriel with glee by Keir at the Hewn City. Now, he had to stretch his spies a little further. Not only did they need to cover the Queens’ residence on the Continent, the Spring Court, and the mortal village that Feyre’s sisters lived in, but Adriata too. Not that any good came from it. He grew increasingly frustrated by the lack of progress. If Tarquin and Varian turned up on the steps of the Hewn City, they’d be none the wiser until it happened. If Azriel failed, the consequences didn’t bear thinking about.

Azriel wasn’t sleeping. Each day, he pushed the limits of what a fae body should be able to function on. The headache that needled at his temples made him irritable. Mor had commented that he looked gaunt on one of her frequent interceptions; she had a habit of knowing when he’d returned and would often seek him out on the roof. One day, it would snap for them. The mating bond. In truth, he only ever returned to have a brief glimpse of her. There was no other reason to return to Velaris when his skillset was needed elsewhere.

‘You are allowed to take a break, you know,’ she reminded him. ‘Come to Rita’s with us tonight.’

‘When I take a break that means we’re complacent. This city – and its people – are too important to grow complacent with.’

The heavy gait of Cassian sounded as he rounded the stairs from the roof. A sheen of sweat was on his forehead and his hands remained wrapped from whatever training he’d run through with Feyre.

‘If you don’t take a break willingly, your body will decide when it happens, brother.’ He clapped him on the back in greeting. ‘Alright?’

‘I’m fine,’ Azriel deflected.

He wasn’t. He was exhausted. His body was used to running on empty with a little coaxing that it would just be one more night of broken sleep. This was different. A bone-deep exhaustion was burrowing into his marrow with every day that he pushed himself. The pain in his chest hadn’t subsided either although he had grown used to it. It was always with him now, as much as his shadows were.

A shadow wrapped around his hand to disguise it as he plucked an apple from the bowl on the kitchen side. It was the first thing he’d eaten all day and the dim light of his siphons was giving away how much he was flagging.

Mor gave an easy shrug. ‘Where are you off to next?’

‘I’ll sweep the mortal village.’

‘No need,’ called Cassian as he settled onto the couch in the lounge. ‘I had the pleasure of delivering a letter there last night to the wicked witch of the west.’

Irritation clawed at Azriel’s chest. Rhys knew he would be heading there that evening. It was a long flight for Cassian – and he hadn’t been informed of it. That was surely an oversight. Unless Rhys thought Azriel incapable of delivering a letter. After all, his spies had failed thus far.

Useless, a voice murmured in his ear.

‘Cass is in a bad mood because of - what did you call her? A bossy know-it-all female?’

Cassian let out a long, deep groan. ‘You’re as bad as Feyre. And her damn sister.’

‘What happened?’

‘Nothing,’ he said, lying because Cassian always had a tell when he lied. He’d shift his shoulders slightly and glance to the left. ‘I just can’t stand her.’

‘Why?’ demanded Azriel.

A familiar hot spike of anger that usually meant he was about to do something reckless pulsed in his veins. His feet took him to the lounge where he stood ready for battle. He forced himself to breathe out then sit. Sleep was definitely needed. There was no need to fight Cassian over visiting the mortal sisters. He pressed cold fingers to his ribs.

‘She let her fourteen-year-old sister go into those woods and hunt while she did nothing. She doesn’t deserve Feyre’s concern. Feyre gave up everything for her.’ Cassian unwound the wraps from his hands as he spoke and bent his fingers. ‘I can’t put up with somebody so selfish and cruel.’

A muscle worked in his jaw. ‘We weren’t there in that cottage. We only have Feyre’s side.’

‘Feyre wouldn’t lie about it,’ he scoffed. ‘You think her sisters deserve Rhys’ kindness?’

‘My brothers said I deserved what happened to me,’ replied Azriel, voice cold and empty. He couldn’t think of that place for long without spiralling into a hell of his own making.

Mor’s eyes branded into his skin, snagging on his scars, revulsed by them. Even Cassian, who usually never looked at them, betrayed himself and stared at Azriel’s ruined hands. Azriel rose from the chair, grateful to the shadows that flocked to him, covering him from view.

‘Siblings are complicated. There are two sides to everything.’ He swallowed, regretting saying anything at all. ‘I have to go.’

***

The weather matched Nesta’s mood that afternoon – grey and miserable. A steady thrum of rain had been pattering against the glass for hours, locking them inside the manor. The path towards their manor was soggy and Elain’s baskets of flowers on the windowsill looked as if they were drowning. Although she had tried to occupy her time with needlework and her books, Nesta’s mind was too restless to settle on anything for long. She had been that way since Feyre had made her triumphant return with three strange faeries: One was arrogant and made no secret of it; one was rude and made it everybody’s problem; and the third was permissible, she supposed. Beautiful and well-mannered, but aloof in a way that had unsettled her.

The rude one had turned up the previous night with a letter after flapping around the chimney like an overgrown pigeon. Rather than hand it over at the door, he had insisted on following her all the way to her bedroom to speak. It was most improper. Then again, for a great brute who lacked any sort of manners, Nesta supposed it was normal for him. He had likely conquered many women. He certainly strutted about her house as if he had experience in such areas. She hadn’t liked the way he had looked at her. Or how he had crowded her space. At least the thought of Tomas Mandray had stilled him – and her – because for a moment, Nesta was certain he had been about to kiss her. She might have clawed his face if he tried.

She hissed through her teeth as her needle missed its mark and made her finger bleed.

From her vigil at the window, Elain glanced round. ‘When do you think father will return?’

When his pockets were bloated with coin. When his greed had been satiated. When he remembered he had daughters who needed him.

‘I do not know.’

Her sister fingered the iron engagement ring, turning it this way and that. ‘We cannot marry until he returns.’

Good, Nesta thought, maybe Lord Nolan will be dead by then and Graysen will inherit his title.

‘Then let us hope he returns soon.’

Nesta shifted in her seat. She stretched her neck backwards, bending as far as was comfortable, while she pressed a hand against her ribs.

‘Are you still in pain?’

‘It is nothing,’ she replied swiftly.

Elain frowned. ‘Did the healer truly not know what is causing it?’

They would have been better off throwing their coins down the drain than enlisting that crooked healer ever again. He had been utterly useless, prodding and poking, making her cough and lean over for no good reason. The fraud had concluded that there was nothing wrong with her, except stress was causing her phantom pain. A good dose of sea air was his recommendation. Those years of stress in their rotten cottage hadn’t caused any such pain but a couple of weeks with fae in her life had successfully managed it.

‘Tuberculosis. I shall leave you my books in my will,’ she said, turning back to her needlework.

‘You should not make such jokes, Nesta. If it is true that faeries are coming here to war then-’

‘Then whoever is still standing may inherit my entire library. Is that better?’

Her tone left Elain in a stunned silence. The mortal queens would hopefully be arriving soon and they’d be tasked with playing hosts. Nesta did not want to think of the consequences of the meeting – of what could happen to her people. The realistic answer was a brutal death. Since Feyre had turned up on the doorstep, she felt as if she was constantly holding in a breath, waiting for something awful to appear around a corner as war brewed. It kept her up at night. Feyre’s tale – how she had died and returned as a faerie – haunted her too. She could not think of her youngest sister’s sacrifice without growing tearful. Nesta wished that she had kept Feyre there the day they had painted together rather than sending her off with hope that she would have a happy ever after with her high lord. Instead, she’d met her death then a fate worse than it.

Her grey eyes shifted to her younger sister. Even with her face turned towards the window, Nesta could make out the forlorn expression from Nesta’s barbed words. They were all guilty of wrapping Elain up to never feel any bumps or sharp edges. A slightly venomous tongue could wound Elain. Nesta knew little of war, but she’d approach it the same way she approached anything else, with steely determination to make it through. Elain? Elain was delicate. War would break her. A life without Graysen would ruin her. Nesta knew she needed to stop taking out her worries on Elain, but she needed her sister to open her eyes to the world. It could be cruel and hard. They had protected Elain for as long as they could, but one day this world might chew her up and spit her out if she didn’t toughen up.

‘Elain, would you ask Mrs. Laurent to prepare tea? She always gives biscuits when you ask. Then I’d like to hear about your plans for the western portion of the garden.’

Because they had made her soft, Elain was easy to mould. A compliment here or there did the trick. Elain loved to be wanted; she excelled in social situations. And Nesta hated that she used Elain like a puppet sometimes.

She gave Nesta a lovely smile then went in search of the housekeeper. Mrs. Laurent adored her. All of the staff did.

As she stood, Nesta let out a sigh then discarded her embroidery in the chair. At the window, she gazed out across the manor’s grounds. Mist that had been conjured by the rain curled around the stone walls that lined the property. It was a bleak day. The sort of day that drives hope into the ground. Nesta held her hand over her chest to soothe the pain blooming there.

If it came to war, Nesta would go wherever Elain went. It was her fault her sister was naïve and delicate. She had already failed one sister – as her new friends were keen to remind her. She would not let Elain down.

***

How could it be?

The fading light had made his shadows stronger. He only recognised the sister thanks to the lamp illuminating the room. She stood at the window, tall and thin – too thin. His shadows engulfed him, obscuring him from view. Beyond that, Azriel had shielded himself too. Not even Rhys would know he was there. He didn’t know why he had come here. There had been a pull that demanded he ensure the house was safe. And it was. But he couldn’t leave because the eldest sister stood in the damn window staring at him.

How could it be?

Azriel knew that Nesta wasn’t truly seeing him, but her eyes had passed along the stone wall then stopped exactly where he was stood somehow like a force had compelled her to do it. There had been no shock, no cry of alarm. Her gaze had just settled there, almost in a trance. Her fingers splayed out across her ribs, rubbing against them without conscious thought.

The thought of Cassian coming here to war with her infuriated him for some reason. They had no blame in this; they were two mortals trapped between warring fae. They were asking these sisters to uproot their lives and potentially sacrifice their standing in society to host the Queens. Whatever had occurred during a youth of poverty was between the sisters, not for Cassian to meddle with. The level of anger towards Cassian wasn’t justified though. Azriel knew he needed to rest before he became undone. His anger was sputtering out of him as bad as it was when he was a boy, before he could keep it leashed.

His attention snagged on the blurred outline over Nesta’s shoulder. It was the middle sister. She carried in a tray of tea then settled it on a table. He swore he saw a brief smile flicker over Nesta’s lips. It evaporated as quickly as it arrived, but it had been real. She turned back to the window for a moment, silver eyes sweeping the grounds, canvassing over him again, before she tugged the thick, blue curtains across.

The mortals were safe. The house was secure. And he had work to do. There was no reason to remain any longer.

But as he winnowed to the Continent, the ache in his chest seemed to give a sigh of relief, like something restless there had settled.

#azriel is like hmm the pain in my chest feels better when i'm near nesta seems weird #nezriel #nesta archeron #azriel

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tkachuktkaching · 9 months

Text

Keith & Chantal Tkachuk on how Matthew & Brady's vibrant personalities stem from colourful St. Louis roots

It is an attitude and household like theirs in suburban St. Louis that has produced one of the league’s most colourful players off the ice, and one of the most entertaining players on it.

“I assume Brady is the off-ice one and Matthew is the on-ice one?” said Keith, laughing.

Brady’s infectious personality has been on display via several renditions of "Mr. Brightside" posted online by fans thrilled to see him letting loose in local establishments.

The toolkit Matthew has used to become one of the more polarizing and prolific 100-point scorers includes an innate ability to agitate while dazzling with memorable, between-the-leg finishes.

In a league full of beige, both engaging, natural leaders stand out.

Brady, captain of the Ottawa Senators, became a folk hero in Calgary last spring with his double-fisted celebrations in support of his brother’s playoff run.

Matthew, an alternate captain for the Florida Panthers, single-handedly resurrected the Battle of Alberta with a series of hits on Zack Kassian he punctuated with, “If he doesn’t want to get hit, then stay off the tracks.”

And the hits just keep on coming, from both.

“They’re not boring like a lot of guys in the NHL, tell ya that much,” said Keith, who was one of the more personable players of his era.

“I think it’s good they have a personality. It’s good for them, it’s good for the league, good for the team and it’s good for you guys.

“You don’t want to talk to boring guys with programmed answers.”

Keith said he remembered watching Matthew on the After Hours segment on Hockey Night in Canada as a rookie, conducting the whole interview with his head down.

“I said, ‘What are you doing? Get your head up and talk,’” said Keith.

“But now it’s like this (as he snaps his fingers).

“I watched Matthew interviewed last night and he was pretty good. He adds some normal stuff to it that people like. It’s not about the same answers. He does a good job.

“I think it’s being around the locker room for a long time, being comfortable.”

Both Tkachuks are armed with tremendous confidence, no doubt cultivated while growing up at their father’s knee in NHL dressing rooms.

They’ve honed their interview skills under the glare of demanding Canadian hockey markets where all eyes are on their every move, and they know it.

Yet, they continue letting their personalities shine though.

Brady certainly does that well with a microphone in his hand, belting out The Killers’ anthem like he did just a few weeks ago when a fan posted him performing with teammates.

“The good news is every time he does it, he’s with his fiancée, so it’s not like he’s out by himself,” said Keith.

“If you were in Phoenix or New York no one would care, or know you. But you’re in Canada, so I just told him, you’ve got to be careful.

“It’s not like he’s being a goofball, idiot, drunk. He’s not like that. He just turned 23 years old, but he thinks like a 16-year-old.

“He just likes to have fun.”

Sure, it’s all good fun like he’s had for years in his parents' basement with friends and family.

“He has a contagious personality – he always has a smile on his face, seems to be in a good mood and is fun to be around,” said Mom, sharing her theory on why his song is the Killers’ classic.

“I think that’s just a popular college song – a fun song that the kids go crazy over.

Draft parties, grad parties, Christmas parties, you name it, the Tkachuks want to ensure everyone is included, as they value the importance not only of teammates bonding, but the spouses as well.

“One of the best parties was an Easter party we had one of the last years Keith played – we had the whole team over and we got this huge Easter bunny costume and Matthew got into it,” said Chantal, who Keith calls Julie McCoy, the cruise director from Love Boat.

“Matthew was about 12 and he just nailed it, holding the kids’ hands.

“All the moms were oohing and ahhing over how great an Easter bunny he was.

“Honest to god, I still get random texts from moms who said, 'That was just the best.'”

“They like the wine cellar and the scotch,” said a smiling Keith, who taught both his sons to revere their team’s support staff.

“I know what it felt like to be a young guy and not having anywhere to go, so I think it’s important to have that open-door policy.”

That policy extended to the family basement, where current Blues star Robert Thomas lived his first two years in the league before renting Matthew’s St. Louis home this fall.

Keith has three TVs mounted in the basement so he can watch Thomas and both of his sons at the same time. After games, Keith would take on a fatherly role with Thomas and wait up for him to get home to share thoughts on his performance.

#article from January 2023 #matthew tkachuk #brady tkachuk #keith tkachuk #chantal tkachuk #florida panthers #ottawa senators #source in link

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lets-try-some-writing · 5 months

Note

Oooh, can we get a directory’s commentary on the Blind Starscream AU and the Starscream Knitting AU? I know they are small AUs, but I enjoy rereading them from time to time. Plus they involve my favorite (troubled) Seeker. Also maybe one for Broken Record too because that one was just so gosh darn good! Please and Thank you!

I got you! I love giving my thoughts on the writing! Also I seriously adore the Starscream knitting AU and I have fun with the Blind Starscream AU too. I just ran out of ways to continue them. Any ideas for them would be gladly accepted :3

Blind Starscream

It was born of a request, and honestly I wasn't the most enthused with it because I had no plot to give the AU. It was a concept game rather than a story for me. Not a bad thing from time to time, but I like having a story to follow to write for. However with that said, it is a fun one and I recall having a great time thinking about how frickin funny it must be to watch Optimus yeet water at Screamer because he's scared of the bugger.

Extra tidbit about this AU: Starscream actually thinks its super funny to pretend he can see, but ONLY around ST3V3 the Vehicon. Starscream will act as though he can see perfectly and stare with lightless optics right into the Vehicon's visor. ST3V3 is terrified, but not a spark believes him when he says Starscream can see and absolutely can end their lives. Well, they believe the second part, but most don't question Starscream's blindness.

Starscream Knitting

It has been a VERY long time since I last looked at this AU. I hardly remember where it began, but I know it was made when I still didn't know how to format anything in visually pleasing and rational way. I don't go back and read my old work for a reason. (lll￢ω￢)

That said, I have had one image in my head since I learned about how running a small business works. Starscream, with stupidly colorful packaging, slowly and carefully getting every package done with his giant frickin claws. Oh! And those nails are absolutely manicured so that he can take videos and pretend he's just a really stylish knitter. He will never admit he enjoys his claws being painted a vivid red.

He secretly watches manicure videos online and asks Knockout to do him up every now and then.

Broken Record

Oh boy. The emotions were STRONG with this fic. It was the week before midterms and I was STRESSING. So of course I gave my baby some trauma to make me feel better. I was actually at work most of the time while writing Broken Record. I listened to City of the Dead on repeat the whole bloody time because it set the mood. No escape. No victory. No hope. Only loss.

Tidbit about Smokey in this fic: He did absolutely everything under the sun to make things work, and while not shown super closely in the fic because I enjoy being somewhat sane, he had a DEEP relationship with the team. He came to see Arcee as a sister in a sense. He adored her and looked up to her for many long loops before he had to pull away and then grew to see how badly her grief was hurting her. He wasn't the closest with Bulkhead and Wheeljack, but he shared many long nights alongside them, talking about the slightly happier aspects of war. Bumblebee he saw as a brother and eventually a ward as time dragged on. As he matured, he felt the need to watch over the scout, just as Optimus did. This was never fully expressed in the fic, but if given the chance, Smokescreen would take up a parental mantle if only to honor the fallen. He was especially close with Ratchet, that with the medic being the closest mech he ever had to a father.

Surprising right? You would think he's see Optimus that way. However he can't see Optimus like that. In his optics, Optimus is like a ghost. He learns from the mech, but Optimus is a strange thing for Smokescreen. A living dead mech. As much as Smokescreen bonded to the Prime, it was all a very solemn thing. But him and Ratchet? He loves Ratchet as a son would his father. Ratchet was always there for him, always offering comfort instead of the cold conformation of loss that Optimus gave. I didn't have enough time to write it, but I really wanted a scene where Ratchet tucked Smokescreen in after a long day and even managed to get the truth from him. I wanted to write one loop where Ratchet knew, and all he could do was hold Smokescreen's servo and weep as the loop came to an end.

Another tidbit: I fully intend to write a prequel with Orion and his trial. And let me tell you, what I have envisioned is ROUGH. It will take me a hot minute to write I think, simply because writing Broken Record required me to have a VERY off mental state to make it happen. However when I write it, let me say now that Orion Pax will have no frame of reference and do far worse things than Smokescreen in an attempt to get out. There could have been other ways to get out, but after so long? He just wanted to be free, no matter the harm it caused to Megatron at the Council chambers.

#transformers #maccadam #transformers prime #optimus prime #smokescreen #ratchet #broken record au #starscream #blind starscream #author's notes #lets try some writing mumbles

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calzone-d · 2 years

Text

Mild Misunderstandings (part two)

a/n: you can find part one to this story here! emotional ted really tugs at my heart, y’all. someone please love this man.

pairing: Ted Lasso x Fem!reader

warnings: mentions of divorce

word count: 1.5k

find my masterlist here!

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You went to the bedroom you shared with Ted to put your pajamas on and get ready for bed. It was only 9pm but you were exhausted. There wasn’t a single part of you looking forward to sleeping in the guest bedroom, you had grown so accustomed to sleeping next to Ted. At the same time, though, you didn’t have the mental energy to argue.

On your walk to the guest bedroom, you heard Ted mumbling to himself about the plays being off. Deep down, you felt bad for him, but you also know that isn’t a reason to give you the third degree.

This whole fiasco was so unlike the kind, thoughtful man you had grown to love. It had been a hard week. The season had just started, and everyone knows it’s always best to start on top when possible. Michelle had been difficult with the two of you when trying to plan Henry’s trip to visit over Christmas vacation, claiming she wanted to see him for the holidays as well. This frustrated both you and Ted, who shared a deep love for the Lasso boy, and were looking forward to your two-weeks with him. All of this combined created a lack of sleep for Ted, who had spent the last few nights up tossing and turning.

Still, Ted was always so quick to at least try and talk things out before getting snappy. You were under your own stress and were looking for comfort from your husband. Something you had grown very used to.

Trying to calm your thoughts, you put your favorite sitcom on as you settled into bed. Before falling asleep, you shopped online for Christmas presents to give Henry, still ecstatic over seeing him, regardless of how long he was there. As your eyes grew heavy, you plugged your phone into its charger and pulled the blanket up to your chin. Tears pricked your eyes as you thought about Ted and longed for the comfort you were looking for. Maybe he’d be in a better mood in the morning, at least he had this weekend off.

The feeling of weight shifting on the bed woke you up from your sleep. Your eyes squinted open to find Ted sitting criss-cross on top of the duvet, flannel pajama pants on, a white t-shirt, messy hair, and tired tear-filled eyes. It was still dark outside, and the clock read 3:43am. The lamp he turned on was hurting your eyes, shocking you into a state of quiet.

“Y/N, I’m sorry”, his voice croaked. He sniffled before continuing, “The way I’ve been acting ain’t fair at all, not one bit. I’m just so stressed, A-and I’m scared that-”, he had to take a deep breath to stop the tears from falling.

“I’m scared that you’ll see all these problems and want to leave. Which, sheesh, I wouldn’t blame you one bit. Christmas is just always hard for me anyway, and then adding the thought of you leavin’ on top of that is just, bad. It’s real bad, Y/N.”

By now a few tears had escaped his eyes and you took note of the way his fingers twisted around each other. He didn’t give you a moment to speak before continuing, “This is our first Christmas together, and I love all the wonderful things about Christmas but It just feels like there’s so much more at stake in my life now.”

You nodded at him to continue. “It wasn’t great when Michelle left, and that Christmas was lonely as I’ll get out, but you leaving?”, he sniffled some more while shaking his head. “Th-that would break me, Y/N. It wouldn’t be the same by any measure.”

Now you were sitting across from him, a gentle hand on his knee.

“Ted, I know it’s scary. Shit, the idea of you leaving me is scary too. But that’s not a reason to shut me out or give me the cold shoulder. I’d rather talk this out with you any day then spend our time dancing around each other and sleeping in different beds.”

“Sometimes, I think that when I get real scared about something, I feel like if I shut it out then I’m preparing myself for if it happens. Tryin’ to protect myself, I guess.”

“Ted, I’m your partner. You don’t need to protect yourself from me. I’m here to work through these things with you, I know they’re not easy to talk about, but these tough conversations just have to happen sometimes.”

“I know that, but I’ve seen what these tough conversations can turn into, and the thought o-of that happenin’ with you is too much. I can’t handle that, Y/N. I-I can’t.”, he choked out as a sob found its way through his lips. Scooting over beside him, you pulled him into your arms, and his head immediately went to the place between your shoulder and neck.

Ted’s hands grabbed fists full of your sleep shirt, his body shaking as he sobbed into your neck. His tears were hot against your neck. You used one hand to soothingly rub his back while the other cradled his head, holding him tight against you as you shushed him.

You know his divorce left him scarred, and that was something you couldn’t really relate to. You had never been through a divorce before. All you could do was try to reason with his anxious thoughts.

Allowing him a moment to let it out, you drew patterns on his back and made sure he was breathing evenly.

“Ted, our marriage is our marriage. And that’s what makes it so wonderful. It’s full of love, and trust, and support. I love you for every single thing that you are, and that isn’t changing. I can’t think of anything I may have said or done to make you feel like I have any intention of leaving you but-”

He was quick to shake his head against you, “You haven’t”.

“I’m here, Ted. I’m here and that won’t change. There’s going to be times where it feels like all you have is problems, but I’m here to card through those with you and do damage control. Not to leave. We work as a team, honey. I married you because I love you exactly the way you are, not because I think you don’t have problems. I mean, have you smelled your feet? Whew. If we’re talking problems that’s at the top of my list.”

This elicited a chuckle from him. You smiled as you continued, “I love you, Ted. I love you, and Henry, and your problems, and his problems, and anything else that may pop up. We’re a family and we work through these things together, okay?”

He nodded against your neck before pulling away with hands still full of your sleep shirt as if he was afraid you’d disappear into the night. His sleepy, tear-filled chocolate eyes met yours and your heart broke for him a tiny bit more.

“I love you too. It wasn’t right of me to treat you that way, you’ve got your own things goin’ on, too. You’re right, we do get over things together and tomorrow I’ll catch up on my share of the housework.”, you nodded as he spoke. “I never, ever meant to make you feel alone, or isolated.”

The crease between his eyebrows was prominent, and you couldn’t miss the bags forming under his eyes as they met yours.

“I know it wasn’t your intention, Ted. I forgive you. And as good as I am at reading that mind of yours, sometimes I only know what you tell me. If you don’t tell me these things, I don’t really have a way of knowing that’s what’s going on”

Ted was silent for a few moments and nervously chewed his lip. “I think it may be good for me to, uh, call up the doc. Maybe set somethin’ up with her.”, he looked down as he spoke, fidgeting with loose threads on the duvet.

Smiling proudly at him, you pulled him back in for another hug, “I think that’s a great idea, love.”

He squeezed you tight and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek, “How about we take a hot shower then go crawl back in our bed. We can sleep in, and give Henry a ring after some breakfast?”

Your suggestion was met with a nod and tired smile. “Sounds good, Darlin’”.

In the shower, Ted held you tightly against him as he let the warm water calm his nerves. You were there, you were you, and you loved him. You showed him that every day in so many ways. Your marriage was special, and unique, and he knew he didn’t have to fear being himself.

Ted gently washed your hair for you and looked at you like you’d hung the moon as he spread your bodywash across your body. He washed you with care, eternally grateful that you found your way to him and Richmond. Grateful that you loved him unconditionally. He would spend every moment making sure you knew how loved you were if that’s what you needed.

Before you washed him, he used his hands to cradle your head for a deep kiss. You could feel the week’s stress and tension in it, wishing you could take it all away.

You bumped your nose against his and mirrored the smile he gave you.

“Always gonna love you, Ted.”

Thanks for reading!

#ted lasso x reader #ted lasso angst #ted lasso fluff #ted lasso imagine #ted lasso #mm emotional ted #my writing

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drunktuesdays · 11 months

Note

i have missed drunk lea honesty hour but here is my posthumous submission: if you could be guaranteed of an honest answer to any one question from dustin or jim what would you ask (please feel free to also answer this for the bucks should you so choose)

oh my god the level to which i am HUNG OVER is honestly painful. there's a reason i stopped doing this..............i am Too Old. i can't live like this anymore

but what a good question and i'm actually kind of glad i didn't see this last night because i don't think i would have answered it with the right level of thoughtfulness on account of how many samuel adams porch rockers i had.

i feel like the bucks are too easy bc tbh they'd probably answer any question anyone asked them in a very relaxed and unworried way. what are either of them really hiding? nothing.

for dustin--i know this would be an actually infuriating exercise, because i'd actually have so many followups that i KNOW he wouldn't answer once he satisfied the legal requirements of the one (1) honest answer. my ultimate fantasy is that he has to sit down with a kind but relentless interviewer who gets to the BOTTOM of his shit.

but i think probably my question would be like...."babe are you okay?" is that crazy? is that parasocial? it's the only thing i wanna know. i miss his twitch so much because he used to talk about how he was feeling and what he was up to and you could gauge his moods. he'd talk pretty freely about wrestling and how he felt about it. and he used to seem interested in his career and his character and what best friends were up to. and then he completely went radio silent and for a LONG stretch was BARELY ever on tv, and when he was, he seemed subdued. he seems a lot more cheerful in the ring lately, but he and greg don't REALLY seem like they're making much of an attempt at fighting for time. and who knows how much of that is tony and the entire awful backstage landscape right now. and he's never really online anymore except to tweet about basketball. and he's RARELY on bte. just like--babe, is everything cool? i miss you. i miss being electrified by things you'd casually say as if it was nothing.

#wrestling #asks #gonna crawl back in bed and die now

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melancholysway · 2 years

Text

Serendipity (2007!Raphael x Fem!Reader 5

CHAPTER V: Revelation

——— = a flashback is happening or ending ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ or ====

= perspective change

~ = small time skip

Raph kept his promise. He came by about three days after he said that. A few more weeks passed by, and it’s been around 3 months and change since you and Raphael had become friends.

You still didn’t know about his identity.

Despite this, it didn’t prevent you and Raph from getting close. You thought of it like an online friend, you never saw their face but were close with them regardless.

it became routine for Raphael to visit you. Every three or so days, he would come by during the nighttime, knocking on your window. You of course would open it up happily, and exchange a sweet hello while you conversed over dinner. You knew to keep your best-tasting foods for the nights Raphael would visit, and you would learn new recipes on the nights he didn’t. He stayed longer on nights you didn’t have class the next day, since you were able to stay up longer.

You didn’t exchange numbers the last time, and you cursed at yourself for not doing so. He probably would’ve come back earlier.

Raphael brought it up the next time he came because he had no way of knowing if you were home or not beforehand. So, he wrote his number on a blank page in your Physics notebook while you were passed out sleeping from staying up with him before he left.

As the months went on, you learned about Raphael. You learned small things, like what music he enjoyed.

“Classic rock, always.” He said as you surfed through Spotify on your laptop for songs to play through your speaker.

He talked about his brothers, and it became hard to put a personality to a name, so he told you.

He spoke about Michelangelo or Mikey, who was his loud and crazy brother.

Donatello or Donnie, his extremely smart and talented brother.

And Leonardo or Leo, his reserved and frankly annoying brother.

He later revealed during the conversation that Donatello was the one who brought your camera back to life, and you thought back to that very first time you met Raphael.

Leonardo was currently abroad in South America for reasons unknown. You had a feeling it might have something to do with ninjutsu.

You still kept your promise to Casey of not telling anyone you knew Raphael or that he exists, but it became hard at times when certain things reminded you of him.

— — —

“I love this song!” Jade pops an earbud in your ear as you sit beside her on the train to Times Square.

“I know this song!” You listen as the familiar classic rock song plays in your left ear. It reminded you of your good friend Raph.

“How do you know it? Never took you for the rock type, ya know? Seems that’s all you’ve been into lately!” Jade smiles and looks at you curiously, as you think of an excuse.

You twirl the ends of your hair, “Ah, it popped up in my recommendations once, since then I’ve been into the genre.”

— — —

Raphael had the same issues, too. He realized he hung around you too much when he picked up your lingo and used it around his brothers. But, he didn’t mind it at all.

However, he felt a difference in his mood. He seemed…happier than usual.

And boy, did Mikey notice.

---

“He’s gotta be getting some, dude!” Mikey wiggles his eyebrows to Donnie, who rolls his eyes in response.

Donatello sighs, “Thank you for painting that picture for me, Mikey.” he says sarcastically.

“I like nice Raph, do ya think Splinter’ll find out?” Gathering his small invention from the work table beside Mikey, Donnie ponders his question.

“Not unless you or I say anything. If it makes him less miserable and moody than he usually is, I won’t say a word.” And with that, Donnie heads upstairs to his lab to start his I.T shift.

---

So, Mikey said nothing. As did Donnie.

You had begun to get extremely close to Raph, emotionally speaking.

You longed for him to come over, sometimes you’d spend your nights together on the couch watching a movie until it was time for him to go.

Other times, Raphael would finish saving the city from crime that all he’d want to do was tell you about his night, which was always so interesting that you couldn’t help but be fully invested into what he always said. Depending on Raphael’s mood, you found yourself talking a lot more in depth with him when he was pissed or upset; and vice versa. Other times, he would convince you to hang out outside the apartment and take a spin on his bike to find a nice place in the city to stargaze.

One time, he took you on your first bike ride when you were having a particularly rough evening.

———

“Raph, I don’t get it.” You place your large Calculus textbook on the coffee table in front of you and bury your head in your hands and deep sigh. The big exam for Calculus was tomorrow, and you wanted to get some last-minute studying in by taking a practice exam on the same content. However, when checking it over, the questions you brushed past and quickly answered had been incorrect, and it added up. You wound up getting a 70 on the practice exam, and that wasn’t acceptable to you OR your GPA.

“Ya’ve been at it for an houa,” Raphael cursed at the fact that he didn’t have Donnie’s smarts, otherwise, he would’ve gladly helped you.

You tried to write and redo the problems out, but nothing seemed to be working at this moment. With the stress of the exam, and now that you aren’t getting the problems correct or how to fix it, you were on the brink of a Calc breakdown.

You felt a tear roll down your cheek, and you quickly wiped it away. Soon, your vision clouded and you felt your eyes watering.

“Don’t cry Y/n,” Raphael snaked a supportive arm around your shoulder, and you tried to hide your distress.

“I-I’m not!” Raphael stared at you through his visor, thinking up something to do for you.

You stayed like this for a moment, until he got up.

“Come on, we gotta get ya out of hea’ for a few.” You look at him confused, sniffling and shutting your notebook.

Raphael motions to the fire escape that leads down to the street, “Meet me by that bike there.” Was all he said before disappearing from your sight.

Confused yet curious, you decided you could use a break, and whatever Raph had in store for you had a strong chance of getting your mind off of schoolwork.

You grabbed your sweater and put it on, ready to take on the chilly New York City weather. You shut and locked the door behind you, and made your way quickly downstairs, so Raph wouldn’t wait too long for you.

Once you got outside and we’re greeted with the cool crisp air, you walked toward the bike Raphael said to, and saw him there as well standing by it.

Raph grabs a helmet hanging from the side of his bike. “How about a ride around tha city ta get ya mind off things, yeah?” You could almost feel the grin he was wearing right now, and you smiled at his gesture; yet nervous at the same time.

“I’ve never ridden a bike before, are we really…?”

“Here.” You watched as Raphael stood in front of you and lowered the helmet on your head. It was a perfect fit.

He looks at you for a moment before stifling a laugh. “Ya look ready to rumble,” He took a seat on his bike and revved it up, patting the spot behind him.

You comply and smile faintly as you plopped behind Raphael, automatically putting your arms around his waist for support. You listen as Raph starts his bike, and you tighten your grip slightly in anticipation.

“Do you have a name for it?” You ask before Raph takes off. He looks back at you, confused.

“Name for what?”

You laugh. “Your bike. Like, is it a male, female, in between, no gender?” Raphael takes a moment to think, considering the thought of characterizing his bike never came to mind.

“She rides smoothly yet wild when I want, I love it. I don’t know what I’d name her.”

“How about…Roxanne!” Raphael nods slightly, and you pat the bike now named Roxanne, admiring how clean and scratch free she was.

“Why Roxanne?” He asks. Raph actually really liked the name you chose, he just didn’t know where you got it from.

“Or Roxy. I don’t know; Roxy or Roxanne sounds rebellious and strong, like you. So, poof! Roxanne appears.” Raphael unknowingly smiles at your compliment on his nature, and he thinks of you in the same light. After agreeing on the name, Raph speeds off onto the street, and then starts taking sharp turns to an unknown place, a glint of hope in his eyes. .

“This is so fun, Raph!” You yell over the loud wind blowing against your helmet, your friend laughs in response and takes this as a sign to go even faster. You can tell bike riding is a passion of Raphael’s. Long gone is the stress about an exam, right now, you’re enjoying a night time ride around the city!

You notice the scenery change from busy New York City streets, to back roads and darkness, the view only lightened by the lights on Raphs bike. The many hills he’s driven up never ending. Feeling Raphael slow down, your grip on his waist falters, and he stops the bike by a bare tree.

Raphael helps you off the bike and takes the helmet off of you, revealing your face to him again. “Like what ya see?” He asks. You stare at him, slightly confused.

“You?”

“No.” He laughs. He always liked when you made jokes like this. “Look,” he points to the sky, and as you follow his gloved finger to the direction he was pointing, you let out a slight gasp of awe.

Despite the amount of pollution in New York City, let alone the state, the sight was undeniably beautiful.

Being at the top of a hill gave you the ability to see all of New York City. You, your small body, staring down at a city larger than anything you’ve seen. It looks small to you, but you know the many loops, alleys, streets, twists and turns intertwined together reminds you of how large the city really is. Street lights, building lights, and the faint view of the Empire State Building makes you step slightly closer to the edge, enough to see the bottomless pit in the event you fall. Taking a step back after that thought, you look up at the sky.

The moon seems to look back at you; lighting up your face to amplify your beauty, and you think the same of the moon, too. It’s a gorgeous full moon, the craters prominent on the imperfect sphere that brings the Earth its defining qualities during the nighttime.

You don’t notice Raphael staring at you.

He’s staring at the way the light shines on your face, and your eyes seem to glow with it. You have a look of pure serenity on your face, and that was the whole point of this thing.

Raphael wished he was normal sometimes. He wished he could simply take off his suit and run off into the sunset or something with you after revealing who he really was. To experience different things with you. But, sadly, he wasn’t blessed with a human body, only a mutated turtle one. It was laughable, how peculiar life can be.

His eyes landed on your mouth; your moist lips amplified by the moonlight, shining gracefully. Your mouth is slightly open from the sight, and he couldn’t help but sigh to himself. Raphael was caught up in his world of observing your facial features, he didn’t even realize you had turned to him, only to see he had been staring this whole time. Could you blame him, though? You just look so…

“Beautiful.”

Shit.

Raphael wanted to slap himself. He wasn’t exactly the most confident, and you in particular had made him nervous at times. What if he just said he didn’t mean it like that? Oh, but he did. Or that he meant the sky and not you? No, you just caught him staring. Not only that, but he couldn’t exactly take something like that back, now can he?

“I-…” You massaged your cheeks to try and get rid of the new heat that formed on your cheeks from his compliment. “Thank you, Raph. That means a lot coming from you.” You say softly. You’re unable to see Raphael's face still, and this was the downfall of waiting on the day he’ll reveal himself to you. But you knew deep down he was smiling back at you.

———

You realized you had gotten more invested into this friendship when you started to miss him.

His presence, his voice, his laugh.

It didn’t take much to make Raphael laugh, his laughter was something you enjoyed.

What you both didn’t know, however, was that he’d be less frequent in visiting you in the days and months that followed.

It wasn’t his fault, nor was it yours. It was someone else.

Leonardo.

---

“I think you should give him a warm welcome. He’s been gone for so long, you know?” You sat face to helmet with Raphael on the roof of your apartment building, staring up at the full moon present in the New York City sky. Raph scoffs, and gets up from his spot.

“If he did come back, I wouldn’t know what ta do.”

April had informed Casey she saw Leonardo on her business trip in South America, who then told Raph, who told you. Raphael was pissed that Leonardo didn’t show regret of his lengthy absence from his family.

As you and Raphael spoke to each other, the more you realized he needed someone to spill his worries and problems to. Especially when it came to his home life.

You sighed and stared at Raph. “Well, how do you think Donnie and Mikey would feel if he comes back?”

The amber-eyed vigilante stares back at you through his visor and ponders your question.

“Those two are so caught up in their work lives that if Leo came back, it’d reset everythin’. I hate ta admit it, but I miss…us. Tha way shit used ta be.”

Raphael would never admit it out loud, but he does miss his brother, you realized that much. He had a hard time admitting certain feelings he had, because he always had a wall up around his brothers, an emotional wall. The only person who could break it down before you was his father and Sabrina.

“I think Leo coming back would be better for you. If it means that things will be like they used to be.” You bask in the moon's light for a moment before continuing.

“You’re used to how life is without him, but him coming back I think would help bring Donnie and Mikey out of their stressful work lives. You with your vigilante hustle, too. You constantly put yourself in danger every time you put on that suit, all for the sake of people's safety. You carry the world's problems on your shoulders, Raphael, you shouldn’t have to deal with it alone.”

“How do you always do dat?”

“Do what?” Raph sits beside you and puts an arm around your shoulder. You feel the familiar rush of heat go to your cheeks from his touch, and you savor it.

“Ya always find the right words. What ta say. What I need ta hear. Ya sound like my fatha sometimes, old and wise.”

“I am NOT old Raph!” You push his side playfully and giggle, as he pulls you closer and laughs.

It’s moments like these that you really wish Raph would show you who he was. It was also moments like these that you came to the conclusion you developed some type of feelings for the mystery man.

You’d fallen.

You’d fallen for a person who you didn’t even know what they looked like.

You realized it when butterflies invaded your midsection everytime Raph texted you that he was stopping by, or when he would talk; his deep accent putting you in a trance. When he would touch you in a friendly way, and you had hoped it would turn into more than just companionship.

Despite the terrible things you experienced that night you met Raphael, it brought you to this point in your life with him in it. Someone who would randomly text you wondering if you were home so he could stop by. Someone who would stay up and watch movies with you or who would take you on night rides through the city on his motorcycle. Someone who would listen to you, because you did the same.

And sometimes, all you both needed was someone to listen, when it seemed like nobody else would.

So, you deemed that fateful night as luck. A lucky accident.

A happy accident.

Serendipity, if you will.

———

Back to Raphael’s family dilemma: Leonardo was back.

The oldest brother was so caught up in his own little world, that he forgot about everybody else.

So when he returned home without a heads up, Raphael didn’t know what to feel. Who did Leo think he was to just leave then show up when it suits him?

Not only that, it was Leo’s job to whip the team back into shape before they can fight as a team again.

“Leo’s back, say hello before he leaves again.” Raph wakes up Donnie and Mikey by shaking them lightly. He skipped the happy family reunion with his brothers, and went up to his room.

He had so many emotions going through him, that he didn’t know what to do without talking to you about it.

“He’s back, Y/n.” Raphael typed quickly and sent it to you, to which you reacted by sending a picture of Surprised Pikachu as your reply moments later.

“Wellll??? How is it?” You texted back.

Raphael couldn’t stand texting, so he called you instead. The usual one or two rings before you quickly picked up was routine.

“Hey, Big Red, how you feeling?” You greeted him with the usual nickname, hoping to lighten the mood for him.

“Not sure, Damsel.” Ever since you had started calling him Big Red, Raphael realized he needed to find a nickname for you, too.

You came to using Big Red since Raphael’s frame was much bigger compared to yours, and when you asked him an ice breaker question one night regarding his favorite color, he said red. Thus the name: Big Red.

You and Raphael had become accustomed to calling each other by your nicknames, as it was just another way of you both teasing each other.

“I'm not a damsel, Big Red. It was one time!” You earned a soft laugh from Raphael on the other end.

“I don’t know…it’s…weird. It’s definitely gonna be hardah’ ta sneak around here and be tha Nightwatcha.” Raphael’s whisper almost sounded like he went mute at the last part, as a precaution just in case someone wouldn’t hear him admit he was the famous vigilante if they passed by his room.

“I can’t imagine how Leo would react if he found out, ya know?” Raphael huffs and lays down on his hammock, wondering what you’d say.

“Eh, you’re pretty good at keeping secrets from what I know, Raph.” You hint at his hidden identity, to which his scoffs.

“Yeah, yeah, whateva Y/n. Listen, it’s gonna be much harda for me to see ya, I don’ want ya thinkin’ I’m doin’ it on purpose. Ya know I like spendin’ my nights with ya.” He says regrettably. It hurts that Raph has to keep you a secret from his family, but at the same time, it’s better this way. It’s bad enough Leo’s come back, and he’s going to be doing everything in his mutant turtle body to keep the team together and focused.

You blushed at the last part. Raphael made it beautifully obvious he liked seeing you and being in your presence. He had an obvious flirtatious side to him. You loved that you had someone there who made you feel special, and you did the same.

“I’ll miss you coming over here almost every night.” You sigh as you reminisce about all the times your vigilante friend came over to your small apartment. You learned a lot about Raphael during that time. From the music you listened to together, to the food you ate (you found out he likes Japanese and Chinese food the most,) to sitting with each other for God knows how long to talk to each other about anything either of you are dealing with.

“I…hold on.” You hear what sounds like Raphael getting up on the other end, and a door open, followed by a thud.

“What tha…Mikey!” Raphael’s voice boomed on the other end, with groans from someone that wasn’t him.

“Uh…hi?” After hearing an audible slap, you hear Raph sign on the other end, “Give me a sec,” And with that, the line was cut.

===

“You were spyin’ on me weren’t cha?!” The red clad turtle stopped his little brother from escaping his room after being caught listening in on the conversation, and Michelangelo was stuck.

The orange clad turtle recovered from falling face first on the floor. “Maybe? Dude! You’ve been different lately, I had to find out why!”

“Have ya eva heard that curiosity killed tha cat, numb nuts!?”

“Yeah but, satisfaction brought it back,” Mikey smirked, earning a glare from his brother. “and I’m a turtle…ow!”

“What tha hell were ya spyin’ on me for!?”

“I won’t tell Splinter! I swear it!” Mikey puts his hand on his heart, sweating an oath to not tell his master of Raphael defying his orders.

The baby blue eyed turtle and his brother stand in silence for a moment, before he breaks it. Wiggling his eyebrows, he grins, “So…Y/n, huh?”

“Get out!” With that, Mikey’s attempt at diving deep into Raphs personal life has failed, and he’s now kicked out of his brother's room.

‘Shit.’ Raphael huffed. Great. Just great. Now, Mikey knows about his little friend. Michelangelo was notorious for having a loud mouth, and it’s only a matter of time before he accidentally blurts out his secret.

He knew he would be walking on thin ice for the next few weeks.

===

You waited for Raph to call you back, but he never did. Instead, he shot you a quick text saying he wouldn’t be able to for a while, to which you frowned at. You didn’t know his living arrangements, but you concluded that he just needed some time. Leo was back after all.

Engulfing yourself in your bed sheets, you drifted off to sleep; hoping to hear from Raphael soon.

~~~~

“What’s wrong, Y/n?” Jade flops beside you on the couch and flips on the TV. Sighing one last time, you turn your phone over and put it on Do Not Disturb.

“Nothing.”

A whole 5 weeks had gone by, and you heard nothing from Raphael.

Not only that, but you haven’t seen him either.

You winded up texting him randomly one night, but received nothing.

“Hey! Just wondering if you’re able to swing by tonight? We can order from that sushi place, Big Red.”

The day after, you tried calling him, but he didn’t pick up. It seemed as if Raphael fell off the face of the earth, and you were determined to find out why.

Saying goodbye to Jade and walking her to the elevator, you made your way toward Casey and April's apartment.

====

Raphael hated this.

Leonardo being back was one thing, but now he’d have to walk on eggshells around him to keep up his vigilante antics? Not only that, but it’d be risky to even pay you a visit.

Unbeknownst to you, he was closer than you thought. Literally.

Here he was, the same night, lying in the middle of Casey and April's apartment after passing out from a poisonous dart. He took the hit for Casey’s sake, although it was Casey’s fault they were caught.

———

“And now we got walking statues?! You got a plan for those?!” Casey whispers beside Raphael from the rooftop. They watch as a group of people who seem to be stone capture a gigantic bat.

Looking down, Raphael chuckles. “Hey, those are a first for me too. Who knows, they might be friendly.”

Suddenly, the largest stone man flattens the bat with his hammer, putting him to sleep.

Casey steps back. “Haha. Friendly.”

Squinting his eyes, Casey Jones seemed to recognize the stone men and one female below him. He took a step closer to the edge of the rooftop.

“Hmm.” Casey thought to himself.

They looked just like…

“Woops.”

“Way ta go, Jones.”

The statues noticed the debris falling from above them, and stared right at Casey and Raphael, who’d seen everything they were doing.

“Witnesses!” One of them snarled. Foot soldiers shot darts directly at them, and seeing one was aiming straight at Casey, Raphael thought quickly and stepped in front of his bud.

“I don’t feel so good.” Raph felt his eyelids become heavy, but remembered the situation him and Casey were in. Throwing a smoke pellet on the ground, Raphael disappeared. Casey followed behind, and was pulled into a nearby closet on top of the roof.

One of the statues had been following, and forcefully banged on the door to the room they were in. Luckily, Raphael and Casey were strong enough to fend it off before the police helicopter light shined on the unknown figure, before it fled the scene.

As soon as the adrenaline came, it quickly left Raphael’s body as he fell to the ground unconscious.

———

Finally being able to walk, Raphael sits beside Casey on the couch along with the three brothers. He avoids looking at Leo, and sighs.

Now they have to deal with some random immortal guy and his stone generals? Really? Although it’s a weird situation, Raphael is still somewhat excited to get back into fighting someone other than low life criminals.

Oh, how he’d wish to see you right now. He was so close to you he could almost sense your presence.

“Well, now I know who to thank for tha shot in the arm, so where do we find Winters and his stone assholes?”

“We’re not going anywhere until we get Splinter's blessing.” Leo scowls at his younger brother. Shooting Leo a cold stare, Raph stands up to his brother.

“What tha hell?! You’ve been gone for damn near two years, and ya expect us ta sit on our asses while shit like this is happenin?! Tha hell is that, Leo?!”

“Listen, Raph-“

Just as quickly as the argument between the two brothers started, it was shut down in an instant. A sudden knock at the door had turned everyone mute.

“Hey…Casey? I heard April's back!”

Oh. Fuck.

Immediately recognizing the sound of your muffled voice, Raphael’s eyes widened. Going up to the door, Casey sighed quietly.

“Hey, Y/n. Listen, now’s not really a good time…” Trailing off, Casey listens intently through the door to hear your response.

“Oh, sorry, Casey. One more thing I had to ask though, have you seen Raphael?”

Leonardo’s confused face soon turned into disappointment as he looked at his brother. Donatello had the same look as well, and Michaelangelo couldn’t help but snicker.

“Busted!” He whispered and nudged the red-banded turtle, who put him in a headlock to shut him up.

“I haven’t spoken to him today, I’ll let you know if I see him soon, okay?”

And with that, Casey heard the familiar footsteps recede across the hall followed by the sound of a door shutting close.

Something was especially fishy.

That was definitely the sound of Raphael’s voice. There’s no way it wasn’t. It also sounded like there were more people in the apartment than just him, being as though you seemed to knock at a particularly heated moment.

He said Leo, was he there?

Although it may be one of the reasons why he hasn’t shown up to your apartment, it doesn’t excuse the fact that he hasn’t texted or called you in almost a month.

Heading back to your apartment and closing your door shut, you plopped down on the couch upset.

Have you done something wrong? Raphael completely left you in the dark with only a thought that you had done something to him. But, what was it?

Casey seemed to play off the fact that Raphael was in his apartment instead of confessing that he was.

All of this got you upset, what did Casey gain from lying? And what was Raphs deal of ghosting you completely?

So, you had decided to get out more. Spend some time with Jade and even Teddy to get your mind off of the memories you had made with Raph in your home. Everything reminded you of him; the couch, the songs you played, your Calc textbook for god's sake. Everything!

The more you got out of your tiny apartment, the more the memories of Raph seemed to fade away.

You didn’t want them to, but he wasn’t putting forth much effort to see you, now was he?

So, when you saw him nearly a month after he had ghosted you, it caught you by surprise.

It had been totally uncalled for, he wasn’t expecting to see you like this.

Especially because once again, an occasion of pure serendipity had revealed him to you.

The real him.

“Yeah, I can come in today. See you then.” Hanging up the phone, you make your way to your closet that holds your waitress uniform for Jimmy's Diner. Just your luck, the only other waitress for this Friday evening shift had called out, and you were asked to come in. Seeing as though you weren’t doing anything- finals week was over, the semester ended, and onto a prolonged break until the next one was ahead of you, why not take the shift? Besides, you could always use the extra money.

Following the weeks and soon months from when you’ve last seen or heard from Raphael, you decided to just drop it. You had thought of some crazy conspiracy in your head as to why he hadn’t spoken or texted you, but still was able to continue (very subtly) his Nightwatcher persona. Although it was much less than it was in the past, the Nightwatcher continued to stop crimes whenever he could.

Later on, you’ll realize that taking this shift would be the best decision you’ve ever made since being in NYC.

Quickly taking a shower and getting dressed in your uniform, you pat Stella on the head as a goodbye and head out of your apartment building. Completely oblivious to the odd aura in the air tonight.

“Another coffee?” You ask the man sitting on the barstool in front of you. He smiles and puts out his empty coffee mug, getting lost in his newspaper with the Nightwatcher headlining.

It’s pretty dead for a Friday night. Usually, groups of friends would come and hangout during this time, but it seems the only people here today are the man reading in front of you, and the cook.

Bored out of your mind, you grab your phone out of your pocket and text Jade. Knowing her, she’s probably passed out on her bed, catching up on the sleep she missed during the past semester. Putting your phone back in your pocket, you do mundane tasks: wiping the tables, clearing tables of past groups that came in before you clocked in, and chatting it up with the chef, Judd. He’s a pretty cool dude, he boasts about how he has kids in college; community college.

Huffing, you stare at the clock realizing it's only been an hour and a half. Working from 7pm to 12am seemed it’ll be the slowest of the slow. After chatting it up with Judd, you decide to get a breath of fresh air from the outside. . You take a breath of the polluted February atmosphere, and watch as the moonlight shines upon the many cars driving to God knows where in the street. The sounds of police sirens, cars honking, and overlapped chatter of passersby fill your ears, and it's all you can hear.

You look up at the crescent moon above, then glance at the rooftops. You can faintly see a figure standing above the building but can’t make out who or what it is. You never knew the reason people chose the rooftops to look down on the city, but after meeting Raphael, you finally knew why. It’s the perfect view of everyone and everything. The beautiful skylight, how tiny everyone below you look, and the serene feeling of looking at the vast land you’re inhabiting. Raphael was always fond of the city he lived in, and you grew to love it just the same.

As you took one last look and went back inside the diner, you noticed that Judd was gone from the Front of House. The man was still reading his newspaper and sipping his coffee idly. The soft music continued to play, before it was interrupted by a roaring scream coming from the Back of House.

You jolted up, anxious to see what had happened. Suddenly, Judd slammed open the revolving kitchen doors and sank under the counter, pressing the panic button underneath viciously.

“Uh, are you okay?” You ask, staring down at the middle aged cook. He shakes his head and continues spamming the panic button to notify the cops.

“No! There’s a monster in there! We need the cops! Where are the cops!? Why haven’t the cops come yet?!” He yells hyperventilating. You were suspicious of this so-called “Monster” but honestly, you weren’t buying it.

Instead of waiting under the table for the cops, you decide to investigate. This boring night had the potential to become the slightest bit interesting.

You walked through the kitchen, and stopped in front of the walk-in freezer. There was an obvious rustling noise coming from the opposite size of the door, and curiosity seared through your body. You turn the handle to open the door, and the cold frosty wind immediately tickles your face as you try to see through the frost. As your vision clears, you can clearly see a small, red...thing. You’re not sure what it is, but it has its back facing you. He seems to be chittering and munching on a piece of frozen meat from the bottom shelf. He looks like a little devil, actually. He has a little tail, and if this wasn’t abnormal to you he would seem like a cute creature. Shocked, you slowly back away, careful not to trip or make any noise to alert him.

Closing the door softly, you’re greeted with the warm sensation of the air outside the freezer. You speed walk back over to Judd, who pulls you under the counter with him.

It seemed as though a whole hour went by, when realistically it was only 20 minutes. The cops still weren’t here, and Judd was freaking the hell out. You thought about Raphael. Maybe he would be able to handle it? But, if you gave him a call would he even answer?

Unlocking your phone, you flip through your contacts, landing on Raphs name. Your finger seemed to hover above the call button, there was a big chance he wouldn’t pick up, but a tiny chance he might.

You mustered the courage to press it, but the entrance door swung open just before you were.

Judd was much bigger and taller than you were, so whoever did come inside would only see him, as you were basically hiding behind him.

Heavy footsteps seemed to get closer and closer with each step, the slight creaking from the wooden floor accompanying them. They sounded so familiar to you that it took everything for you not to leave your spot.

“Don’t get up, I’ll serve myself.”

‘No way.’ You thought to yourself.

A sudden twist of fate had led up to this moment.

The Nightwatcher was here,

Raphael was here.

He walked right past you both, and didn’t seem to notice you. The short glimpse you got of Raphael before he disappeared into the kitchen brought back so many memories.

While seeing him gave you nostalgia, it also pissed you off.

So, why not confront him?

Months worth of not seeing or hearing from him until now by pure chance was an extreme twist of fate. This was an opportunity, and you weren’t going to let it out of reach.

You had decided to wait a bit, because there IS an actual monster in the freezer, and you didn’t want your small reunion to get ruined by it.

Sneaking into the kitchen, The Nightwatcher was nowhere to be found. It was quiet for a bit, and you tiptoed around for any sign of him.

That was, until, a large figure was thrown onto the floor, a loud crash following after. Surprised, you duck into a corner where you can’t be seen, behind the large sink. You watch in shock as Raphael gets up and dusts himself off, groaning in pain. You decide to watch the show, I mean, seeing Raph get tossed around like a rag doll was funny to see, especially because he deserved it.

You watch his large figure get back up, and the small monster latch onto Raphs back, silently giggling as he tries to peel the creature off of him.

He was thrown onto floors, hit against the fridge, pushed onto counters, and even smacked on the head by this tiny, innocent being.

It seemed like forever, watching Raphael get his ass kicked by something so little, it was almost comical that you just so happen to be witnessing it all in 4K.

======

Raphael tried to think quickly of a solution to get him out the kitchen. He wasn’t concerned with killing the damn thing, just steering him away. This monster had a direct correlation with Winters, and it's best if nobody knew about the current situation. Not only that, but monsters were still running around Manhattan. He remembered a few weeks ago when Leo tried to whip the team back into shape one night, and they winded up getting their asses kicked by one big fuzzy blue beast. Splinter had found out, and gave Leo a stern lecture about leadership.

It looked as though Raphael was out of the clear, until you knocked on Caseys door in the middle of a family feud between him and Leonardo. He felt the feeling of guilt wash over him. He really left you, huh?

That was the worst thing he could do. It was selfish of him, he knew that. He couldn’t imagine how you were feeling. The nights you guys spent together talking, flirting, opening up. It was the period of something special.

So, this beating he’s getting by this tiny monster? 100% deserved.

Especially after the small argument with his brother before coming here.

---

“Raph, who the hell is Y/n?” Leonardo asks sternly. He stands, arms crossed and eyebrows ridged in confusion. Raphael had just finished working out in the dojo, and was on his way to take a shower before attempting to sneak out for his vigilante work.

“She’s nuthin’ ta worry about, Fearless.” He simply states.

“Well Raph,” Raphaels brother starts, “She is my concern, if it means someone knows about our family. My god, has Splinter's words taught you nothing?!” Leonardo took the cake for the most skeptical and untrusting member of the group. Raphael was a more benefit-of-the-doubt guy, Mikey was always open to new people, and Donnie seemed to read people well to tell what their intentions were.

“Aren’t ya sick and tired of tha same old shit!? There’s nuthin’ wrong with goin’ out and talkin’ ta people otha than April and Casey!”

“That may be true,” Leo remembered Sabrina and sighed, “Except you’re risking the safety of our family Raph! What were you thinking?! You know we’re not normal, and we never will be!”

“Don't start ya shit Leo, I haven't risked anythin’. She doesn't even know what I look like.” Leo steps back, confused. How the hell doesn't this girl know what Raphael looks like?

“What is she? Blind? or something?”

“Whateva’ helps ya sleep at night.” And with that, Raphael heads to his room to grab his duffle bag to begin his night as The Nightwatcher.

---

Already heated, Raphael was taking all his anger out on this tiny monster, but it seemed to backfire. He had to think quickly of what to do before the monster caused more damage than he already has.

He frantically looked around the kitchen, completely oblivious to the fact that someone was watching him, before hearing the monster's stomach grumble faintly. Groaning, he clutches his empty stomach in pain, which sets off a bulb in Raphaels brain. Diving in his pocket, he fishes out a few smoke pellets and clutches them in his left hand.

“Are ya hungry, lil fella?” Waving the pellets in front of him like it was a pet, the monster growls in response and charges after Raphael, only stopping suddenly when the pellets are thrown into his mouth.

The creature stops for a moment, before feeling a heat built up inside him, as smoke begins to come out of him from every part of his body, and he cries out in pain. He bounces everywhere in panic, trying to alleviate the heat of the smoke, and powerfully knocks down Raph in the process of running away.

“Ugh…that was different.” Raphaels vision is slightly cloudy, and he looks around for his helmet that the small monster just knocked off, getting a breath of clear air in the process. He notices the helmet has slid into a corner of the kitchen and walks over to it. He bends over to pick it up, but freezes after hearing a slight gasp coming from behind the sink.

“Shit.”

=====

It’s hard to see Raphael at first, as you heard the sound of his helmet fall to the floor. You’re still not moving from your spot, especially now as the helmet is right in front of your hiding spot.

You hold your breath, and watch from behind the sink as Raphaels footsteps get closer, and all you can see is his waist down.

That is, until he bends down.

He bends down to pick up his helmet, and you finally get to see what he looks like.

Gasping, you take in his features.

He wears a red bandana around his amber colored eyes, and his skin is an emerald color, which seems to fit really well. He’s a…turtle.

He's a turtle.

A walking, talking, turtle. But, a mutated, able-bodied turtle.

The same turtle that’s been in your apartment. The same one that fights crime and practices the art of ninjutsu.

The same one you felt a deep connection with. He’s here. And although seeing his face was by pure chance, you were relieved that he wasn’t some serial killer or 40 year old that was lying about their age.

So, this is what Raphael has been hiding from you this whole time?

The brothers he talks about must all look like this too, then.

It explains a lot, really. Why Casey and April never mention them during conversation, and why Casey was so adamant about not telling anybody you knew.

The pieces of a confusing puzzle you were determined to figure out finally put themselves into place, and it was a relief.

This small victory of yours was short lived, as your hiding spot had been found, and you became face to face with Raphael.

His shocked, confused, and nervous golden eyes met your e/c ones, you were face to face with the real Raphael.

If you were being honest, Raphael made his appearance seem much more daunting than what he really was. Maybe it’s because you got to know the person he was, but he was just a mutant turtle with the capability to feel human emotions and struggled dealing with them. His appearance wasn’t nauseating, disgusting, or ugly. He wasn’t normal, but he wasn’t ugly. He never could be, not to you or anyone who got to know him. He absolutely was not ugly.

“Y-Y/n?” He managed to choke out, his breathing became erratic, and he was practically shaking from you seeing his real self. His breath waved over you, and you enjoyed the cold, minty waft of air.

“Y…yeah…hey, Raph….” You noticed how his eyes never steered away from yours, almost as if he was trying to see your reaction.

“Hey…” You weren’t sure how to feel. He definitely wasn’t human, but he was still Raphael. He kept a big secret for a long time, and then left you hanging.

You smiled at him, signifying that you accepted what he was, and that it didn’t change a thing.

“I-...I missed you.”

“I…” Raphael looked for the words to say, but it was interrupted when sirens could be heard. Quickly putting his helmet back on, he stepped away from you and ran out of the kitchen.

As quickly as you saw him, he was gone.

Getting up from your hiding spot, you kick a nearby box in anger. Months and months after not seeing Raph, you only get a ‘hey’?! What the fuck? Had you not seen him tonight, who knows when you would've seen him eventually.

Now, you were desperate.

Desperate for some kind of closure, you knew just the person to see.

Dialing that familiar number, you hear your good friend pick up.

“Casey? Hey, I know it's late but I have a lot I need to tell and ask you.”

====

“Please don't hurt me, big guy, I got kids…in college. Community college.” Raphael rolls his eyes at the chef cowering under the bar table and tries to hand the cash register that was damaged by the monster back to him.

“Why does everyone think I’m tha bad guy!? I just saved ya life!” Raph argues, before being interrupted by a dagger flying into the register. He looks around, confused, before seeing a silhouette on a nearby rooftop.

Sighing, he drops the money holder, “This night just keeps gettin’ betta and betta.”

=====

“So, you saw him?” Casey sits beside April on the couch after handing you a glass of water. After hanging up earlier, Judd was talking with the cops, and told you that you could go home.

You take a sip and frown, “Yes, but…the real him.” April’s eyes widen, and Casey does the same.

“You saw…Raph…?” The jet black haired male asks, shocked.

“Yep…turtle and all. He saw me see him, then just…left,” You curl up on the couch and bury your face in your hands, “Without a word. All I wanted was to see him, Jones.”

“It’s a little more complicated than that, Y/n. Especially with his brother, Leo.”

“Why couldn't he just tell me that? Why did he keep himself a secret?! He knew I would’ve accepted him, we had that conversation before!”

THAT conversation. You remember it really well, and so did Raphael.

---

“I know you hide your identity from me for a reason, but you know I wouldn’t judge you based on looks, right?” You sit up on the rooftop and continue staring at the stars with Raphael, who laughs.

“If ya only knew, sweetcheeks.”

“I’ll see you eventually, you know. I just want you to know that I’m not a shallow person. I’m not gonna suddenly stop talking to you just because of what you look like, Raphael.” You smile up at him, and he scoffs.

“I know ya aren’t shallow, Y/n. You’ve made me feel pretty comfortable, even though ya don’t know what I look like under all dis.”

---

Yeah, you directly told Raph that you wouldn’t judge him for whatever he was hiding underneath.

“It wasn’t just him he was keeping a secret, it was his family, too.” April says, “They don’t know anyone else but me and Casey, and that’s because they trust us.”

“Trust?” You thought that was stupid. Did Raphael not trust you after all this time? He probably thought you were shallow, then.

But why? You had slowly made your way into his tiny friendship space, spent time together, and opened up. If he didn’t trust you, he wouldn’t have opened up, would he?

“Did Raphael not trust me, then?” You frowned, feeling a heat rise in your cheeks, and your vision blur, tears forming and begging to be let out.

You cried, but for good reason.

Spending as much time as you did with the red-banded turtle, and he didn't trust you after all this time? It was funny, actually. Because you grew to trust him with your life if it came down to it. You made sure he was comfortable and didn’t overstep boundaries, and he didn’t trust you? After all this time, he didn’t trust you?

What a piece of shit.

You wondered what type of life he’s lived, though. The things he went through, the things he wasn’t able to experience. He vaguely described his pastimes and life, but after seeing his true face tonight, there was definitely more to Raphael than you originally got to know.

Time seemed to go by in your neighbor's apartment. April and Casey weren’t sure how much they should tell you and only limited it to what they knew when they first discovered the mutant family.

They spoke of the different brothers, leaving out where they lived, and how they had a rat sensei. They spoke about Leo and Raphs feud, Leo’s absence, and how much it affected Raphael. How upset he was when Leonardo left, and how he hated seeing crime go on and nobody do anything about it.

So it made sense why Raph didn’t want Leonardo to find out about you. Leonardo wanted no secrets in the family, and another human in their lives would complicate things.

Not just for them, but for you, too.

The people who would be after you to get to the turtles. April could tell you how the Foot would kidnap her and use her as a pawn to get to them.

You took all of this in, everything being completely new to you, until April’s cell phone rang.

You couldn’t hear who it was on the other line, but judging by April’s expression, it wasn’t good.

“We’ll be there shortly.” Ending the call, she takes a deep breath, “It’s about Leo…Winter's group took him…the guys need our help.” April quickly gathers her things and Casey does the same, looking at you sympathetically.

“I’ll talk to Raph. He’s probably more mad with himself.” You shoot a confused look toward Casey, “He’s kept a big secret from you knowing you would find out, and he probably doesn’t know how to handle talking to you after you saw who he really is and after ignoring you for months.”

“You think that’d help?” You ask, hopeful. What you needed was to tell Raphael how much you accepted him no matter what species he was. Not only that, but you were somebody he could trust, and he along with Leonardo could be the most skeptical members on the team at times, but he had nothing to worry about when it came to you.

His secret was safe with you.

His family’s secret was safe with you.

And what you wanted the most was Raphael to feel safe with you, as you felt with him.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER: HERE

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scholarhect · 1 month

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one fun story i have that i didn’t tell at the time for privacy reasons is how i lived like half a block from whitechapel gallery & on one sunday (i had one week left at my job & then i was flying out of london wednesday) i was having a weirdish day but i knew i wanted to see whatever was there before i left so i walked in an hour & a half before they closed. i didn’t know what the exhibition was, i just knew the one i’d seen when i went over the summer ended in october & there would be a new one. last time i’d gone the main doors to the start of the exhibition had been wide open but this time they were closed & there was a table in front of it with a woman sitting at it with a laptop. i wasn’t at all in the mood to talk to anybody and i wasn’t sure what the vibe was there so i hovered around the books they sell in the front for a bit & then went straight for the doors, like you do when you walk past somebody who might want to talk to you. i figured i’d stop if anybody told me to stop, but nobody did. so i got inside and there was a big tall wall with lots of medium-sized works that were mostly pencil on paper or had very limited color palettes, like just black & white & red, what i mean is low contrast, so basically it was hard to make out details at a distance, so i take a look & try to parse what i’m looking at & i realize i’m seeing a lot of naked women. lots of sex and orgies and women cutting men’s dicks off. turns out the exhibition theme is straight up just the works of one person, it’s all nicole eisenman who is a badass & funny butch(?) lesbian. it’s organized sort of chronologically but also by theme, the first book is all drawings & paintings with a certain sense of humor and it’s mostly about identity and lesbians and stuff. then past that it’s a lot of big paintings with people in places, then some really touching sort of slice of life/romantic ish paintings, then some cool sculptures (like, big heads, with water running through them & shit), then most recently these huge wall-sized political paintings. about trump & stuff. obviously i can’t sum up the whole thing, whatever. i spent like over an hour in there. then i get to the end of that series of rooms & to the area with some chairs & a little exhibition from students in the area it’s cool whatever then i go to leave the area & when i close the door behind me there’s a sign on it that’s like “DO NOT ENTER this is a paid exhibition & you have to enter through the front.” oops. past that there was a little room with this cool huge moving sculpture and another big painting, as like a free section of the exhibition. then i walked out. nobody stopped me. i didn’t actually realize it was supposed to be paid, like sure i guess based on context clues i should’ve realized, but like seriously it didn’t cost money over the summer so i didn’t know ! but either way the gallery was about to close so i just walked out. then i didn’t want to go home because it was like 6 so i walked down brick lane (i miss brick lane…) & got some food but i wasn’t huge on it… i also listened to chappell roan. that was my evening. i love this story i feel like walking into that room and getting slapped in the face with funny sexy sarcastic LESBIANISM is exactly what i deserved that day. also i think i deserved to see it for free. the universe said i deserved it. i still don’t know how much they were charging for it. in conclusion i didn’t take any pictures but that night i went & found one of the paintings i’d seen online. here’s the picture of it i found exactly where it was hung at the gallery

crazy. but i have to say the picture doesn’t do it justice, this thing was huge, you could walk up close to it and read the names on the file folders. you really just have to see it. it’s kind of weird to know i could go back but this wouldn’t be there, and i just probably will never see it again. which isn’t something i think about when i go to art places & see art. but i liked this one

#i was so crazy privileged to live in such a cool fucking neighborhood #post tag #i love art i love going to an art gallery and looking at everything there BUT i think this stuff was more fun to look at than most #<- unfortunately i can’t say that in a smarter way because i’m not an art person #i just like looking at it :)

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alegator · 1 month

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hiii everyone :D i miss tumblr so bad and the ability to make long form blog posts ugh twitter is not the same plus the site and app are literally so shit. even though the tumblr app is not much better sometimes!! ive decided i want to post more on here to continue my little virtual diary…. I love the tagging system and most of all, love being able to look back and read my own updates!!! it’s crazy how it can help me recall the exact feeling of that moment… it feels special :) Twitter is great for quick fleeting thoughts so i wanna make lengthy life posts on here as a little time capsule, so i can have fun looking back and reading all my posts 10 years from now (if this site still exists. but i joined in 2011 and its still here so who knows). plus ive been posting my entire life on here for YEARS so who cares i will be vulnerable and over share and shit!!!!!! as is tumblr tradition… fuck it if youre my cousin on my homestuck side you can have my SSN.

moving on, here are fun life updates:

- celebrated my 11th anniversary on Feb 14th with the love of my life, Tenma!!!! i have been affectionately calling it the 7/11 anniversary since it’s been 11 years together, but also 7 years married 🤯 it actually fucks me up so bad that 2017 was 7 years ago like. genuinely lol FUCKKK HOOWWW 2017 should’ve been like 3 years ago. we choose to get married on the same day Tenma asked me out, which is also Valentine’s Day, and it was the best decision of all time for SO many reasons. maybe i will make a fun big post detailing those thoughts that another time!! we spent our anniversary day trying out a new coffee spot (so cute and SO pink omg), taking photo booth pictures at a new spot, exploring cute shops, and having an insanely delicious set menu i think maybe 6 courses? at a very fancy restaurant. i think 3 years ago we tried a new restaurant on our anniversary w their set Valentine’s Day menu course and it was so good, fun, and the best way to try out new foods so we’ve kept it going and i LOVE IT!!!!! i am already excited to see what tenma picks out for next year lol. finished the night by watching In The Mood For Love at our favorite local movie theater and i LOVED the movie, the whole end until bedtime we were just talking about it and dissecting it together. i love our life!!!!!!!!!

-tenma and i went to disneyland at the end of February for our anniversary trip!! ive gone before but they haven’t. IT WAS SO FUCKING FUN i am not a Disney fan at all but i love disneyland idk it’s just fun as fuck… um my feet were fucked afterwards lol but so worth it. one day at disneyland and the next at California aventure i wanna go back already but most importantly, tenma was already talking about wanting to go back and that makes me so happy bc it means they really enjoyed it!!! yay!!!! they even went on rides they thought were really scary just so we could try them together just once and that filled my heart with joy. then we also got to meet my online friend and had hotpot together. DELICIOUS i want to go back and explore LA next time and see more friends!!!! we are maybe planning a trip to San Fran in a few months though as the consulate is there to get my passport so that will take priority over any other trips☝🏼

-I GOT MY GREENCARD YEAGHHRHRHFJF!!!!!!!! ok actually i got it last year lol i wasn’t sure if i should put that on here but actually im so happy so fuck it!!! and then we celebrated by having a fancy dinner and I shared the news w the waiter who said he also did the same process w his wife! and yes i cried when i got my greencard idc i am HAPPY! crazy bc i got DACA for the first time in 2013 and then in 2023 i got my greencard… it’s been a fucking rollercoaster. and tenmas been there literally every step of the way…. Tenma is my rock I love them so much im crying typing this bc of how much i love them and how much they always support me and augnfngnfmg

-concerts this year have been Sonic symphony, kikuo/bo en/gus, Hannah Diamond, and hatsune miku (mikuexpo 2024)!!!!!!!! i loved all of the concerts genuinely so fun and next month i am taking my youngest sibling to a concert of a guy I don’t know but they love him so we will go and have a blast 🫡 idk if I’ll buy more tickets to more concerts but even if I don’t, it’s been a really really good year concert wise and i got to experience so many fun shows i never thought i would see live before!!

-spent time with lovely friends and celebrated old friendships and new ones yaaaay i love my friends and im blessed to have a good support system and I can’t wait to see what new friends I make in the future….

-I have a cold rn and took nighttime meds and unfortunately they are starting to hit so it’s time to say goodnight to tumblr…

If you read this far ummm ok weirdo… lol just kidding but i will try and post my lil life updates and pics more often so that not all my posts are like. months worth of writing… or maybe I won’t and the next time I make a post will be in a year idk!!!! this site is full of so many memories both good and bad and it’s dear to my lil heart, even if the feel isn’t the same since everyone mass migrated to Twitter, I want to come back here more often and make new memories whenever I can. goodnight 💤

#gatortext #such is life as ale #lol I haven’t used that tag in so long the last post on there has me gagged like. WHAT

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spiced-wine-fic · 9 months

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Fic Authors Self-rec meme

Thank you dear @edgeoflight for mentioning me 🙏🏼

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

I don’t really have ‘favourite’ fics because I think of the series as one very long story, but there are fics I’ve enjoyed writing more than others. The reason isn’t because of the content; I enjoyed writing all of them but when I think back there is generally a ‘mood’ surrounding them, sometimes it can simply be how my life was at the time, or sometimes it’s more complex.

In no particular order: A Shadow Over Genesis

This is an extremely dark fic, but I enjoyed writing it because it allowed me to tell the backstory of a character who had been in the series since Magnificat III: Edenel, who was Élernil, Finwë’s twin. He was captured and taken to Utumno. Definitely not, as they used to say, for the faint of heart. Summerland

wrote this pretty much off the back of finishing reading @naryaflame’s superb The Ways of Paradox.

I was so inspired, and the title fit with that summer which was long and very warm, week after week, just idyllic English summer weather. I also (then) felt there was some hope in the treatment my mother was having. I often wrote when I was visiting her. Anyway, it was one of those times when you really feel in the ‘zone’. It was also the beginning of our multiverse.

A Far, Fierce Sky

haven’t in fact finished this, though I have written 51 chapters and it is over 250,000 words (and I do know the ending!) At the time, I was also working on Magnificat and suddenly my life became too busy to write two big series in tandem so something had to give. I was determined to finish the Dark Prince/Magnificat and had put much more work into it, so I chose that and sidelined this.

It’s the sequel to A Light in the East and so an AU or my AU’s. One of the things I tremendously enjoyed was writing Sauron and Vanimöré and their incredibly complicated relationship. Also it was mostly set in Mordor and Khand and I so much enjoyed the worldbuilding. I also loved creating OC’s from Khand. (Who’ve gone on to be written by @annellspethraven in her and Sona’s megafic At The Edge of Lasg’len)

Magnificat of the Damned Book IV: Anvil.

While this seemed to be the most difficult fic to write, it was really because it was building toward Dagor Dagorath and an ending of the Magnificat series — not a complete slam-the-door ending but since I knew what would happen I almost didn’t want to finish it. Yet I did enjoy it; it sewed other seeds (It was the first time I had written Eru as a character rather than an idea). Some things were revealed that had their roots in far earlier stories and the comments I received for the last chapter were such a relief as I’d not been sure I could pull something that huge off. I wrote it anyway.

Last Night I Dreamt I Went to Summerland Again

Oddly enough I began this in a spirit of defiance and it encompassed my mother’s death and my walking away from a toxic online acquaintanceship. Writing this helped with both the grief of the first and the fury of the latter.

In fact all the Stormbringers Trilogy, of which this is the first fic, were enormously helpful to my mental health at the time,

I was allowed to borrow some of Narya’s wonderful OC’s, and use some of my own, as it is modern-day multiverse (an AU of our main Summerland series) Far Right thugs getting satisfactorily killed, an avatar of Eru, Eru himself in the modern world as well as Sauron and Maglor, a haunted house, hitmen, MI6, other realities. I really enjoyed writing it :)

Well, I don’t know who’s done this as I’ve seen this going around for a while, so I’ll tag @naryaflame, @pinksiamese, @nuredhel @noldorin-smith @jane-ways @lucifers-cuvette @awesome-bluehair-universe @swanfloatieknight @nocompromise-noregrets @gellalaer, @cuarthol, @antares0606 @auntieaugury @sedailanderekaden @minquelie @thisshadowprevails @thescrapwitch

That’s more than five I’m sorry. No pressure, and if anyone sees this who hasn’t done it, please feel free :)

#fanfic #self rec #silmarillion fanfic #dark prince #summerland #magnificat of the damned

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 2 months

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Vaguely incoherent stuff about what might have become my favourite episode of the Robins/James radio show. Not for any one particular reason, it was just very funny. The whole post could basically be summarized in those few sentences.

Reached episode 220 of the Radio X shows, from May 2018, and I think it might be the funniest one I've heard so far.

Normally, to be honest, I like that this show is nice easy listening. I'm sorry that this is a massively backhanded compliment because I don't mean it that way and love the show, but I do like that it's something I can easily listen to on the commute to work or on a break at work or something, and it's not going to make me fall apart laughing in public. I mean, I always try to get a spot at the front of the train and facing the wall so I can laugh a bit without people seeing me. But I won't necessarily laugh out loud to the point of it being a problem.

For whatever reason, on this day in May 2018, they hit a stride to the point where I found it difficult to listen on a break at work because I didn't want my coworkers to hear laughter coming from the empty classroom in which I'd barricaded myself. They were both just on for the entire time. I should maybe say they were all on, because Vin was good too. It was so much fun to listen to.

They do repeatedly announce that they were both at a party last night and are both hungover, and John repeatedly announces that he's in a terrible mood for at least the first half of the episode, so we have further confirmation that alcohol always makes people better at their jobs and John Robins should never be allowed to be happy. Although he did mention on the next episode that he was almost a week into things with his new girlfriend, which I realized probably explained why there was the sort of manic giddiness alongside his irritability and hangover the previous week, which I think was the recipe for why everything he said was so funny. But that's not sustainable, you can't have John Robins acquire a girlfriend every week just because it might put him in a particularly excitable broadcasting mood. That's definitely not a good idea. When they announced that, I did have a brief reaction of "Oh my God, again? He's doing it again? Oh God, I forgot that that he's going to do it again. Isn't he tired? How does he have the energy to do this all over again? I barely have the energy to listen to him do it all over again." The radio episodes were quite a rollercoaster during his previous relationship, turning up every other week with anecdotes that made me wince and think this is a terrible idea, and then there was the breakup phase that was even more of a rollercoaster, and I was vaguely aware from having read his Wikipedia page that between the point I'm at (mid-2018) and present day he gets into an other relationship, gets engaged, and then it ends again. But I'd forgotten it was going to happen until they actually mentioned it. It was pretty similar to my reaction when any of my friends tell me they've got into a relationship, which is "Oh I'm going to have to spend so much time listening to stories about how your relationship is going that always make me think you should definitely not be in it anymore, and I'll have to stand there and not say that, and hanging out will get awkward because I have to pretend I think your relationship is a good idea, and then eventually there will be a breakup phase where you'll be very upset but I still won't really be allowed to tell you the whole thing's a terrible idea, until you're finally done and then the cycle will just repeat, and it's fine and I'll be supportive but don't you get tired?" (People reading this blog excepted, and I mean that genuinely, the couple of people I've met online in healthy relationships make me wonder if I just happen to have only ever met in person people who have terrible relationships.) Anyway, the commercial indie Radio X show is going to do another romance storyline, even though honestly, it's been in a pretty good place and I'm not sure they needed to throw in that kind of subplot.

(Disclaimer: Obviously alcohol is bad for you and quitting it is good and people should be happy and digital DJs should pursue both happiness and relationships at the rate that makes sense for their own lives and not according to what makes good radio. Although pursuing relationships and frequently discussing their ups and downs on air are two different things, and the latter maybe could be done according to a bit more of a "good radio" schedule, because I'm currently three episodes into the new relationship and there have already been multiple stories based on it that are slightly exhausting to listen to, we've got several years of this ahead. I don't genuinely wish unhappiness on people, I hope all my favourite tortured single comedians are secretly very happy and just doing a character, I would love it if it turned out Daniel Kitson's been happily married since 2007 and Michael Legge's been sober his whole life and it's all an elaborate ruse. I just don't need to hear the relationship updates in their work all the time.)

Anyway, this post wasn't meant to be about that at all. This post was about a radio episode where they started by both apologizing because they were hungover and not at their best, and then absolutely killed it for an hour and a half. So many parts that made me laugh too hard to be at work. I've said before that John Robins is quite quick normally and "Lee Mack quick" on a really good day, and this was the latter. Solid riffs. Classic arguments. A made-up game with regional accents and yelling at each other. What more could we want?

I said recently that the dynamic from the beginning of their radio show, John's the better comedian but Elis is more successful, is a gap that I think closes because John wins a massive award and gets some more work and Elis' major TV sitcoms end and I'm not sure how much else he gets. At this point, however, I'm less sure of that. John's had his award for some time and done a big tour off it but the gap does still seem to be there, as every single thing John Robins does gets plugged repeatedly on the radio show, while Elis clearly has enough on his plate so that every once in a while he'll just off-handedly mention some shit he's doing on Welsh TV that's common enough so he doesn't need to make a big deal of it every time. He's got a football podcast with some actual players that seems like a pretty big thing, though it's hard to tell how big because John yells at him for promoting the competition if he talks about it. Though John is about to host a (probably terrible, I'm guessing, though I've not seen it yet) TV panel show, which is definitely big. And I do think wherever they were in relation to each other in 2023, the Taskmaster bump is a big enough thing so that John's got to be pulling ahead now.

Anyway, that episode 220 has a bit that really calls attention to that, because they announce that they've both intentionally kept secret some recent part of their life to tell each other live on air, and John goes first and his story is that he got a speeding ticket and then did a remedial driving class, and Elis' story is that his football podcast has been nominated for an international award in New York. Which was a really funny contrast. And John took way too long to congratulate him, which is such a relatable flaw. In my thirties, I have to constantly remind myself that it isn't like when we were younger and our friends do successful things and we just immediately make fun of them for it, now we're older and their successes are genuinely important life things and we have to remember to sincerely say congratulations and not be a dick about it. A thing that I've had tested several times in the last few months specifically as my roommate keeps getting chosen for Team Canada coaching positions and I have been genuinely working hard to remember to say "Wow well done on the hard work" before I start saying "Oh cool you get to go work with that council of terrible people we've hated for 15 years" and then make jokes about how terrible the people are. Congratulations first, then jokes. And if they hadn't made such a thing about keeping it a secret until they were on air, I'd have assumed that John did the congratulations privately and is now just doing jokes on air, as is appropriate for a comedy show. But because it was his first time hearing it, the longer he went without saying "well done" the worse it sounded, and he went way too long. He said the words "This is like finding out your husband’s affair’s been nominated for best relationship" before he said "Well done." Then Producer Vin pointedly said "Well done Elis" like a parent saying "Thank you" to get a kid to realize they should also say that, and then he muttered "Well done" as well. It was a genuine moment of being a bad friend and it made me laugh so hard that I had to cover my mouth so my co-workers in the break room (because I work with people who can somehow get through a whole morning and still be up for socializing rather than barricading themselves in an empty room during the break) wouldn't hear me. It was so funny. Bitter snippy John Robins is really funny. Elis James deserves a Chortle Award for patience, but bitter snippy John Robins is really funny.

Oh, there were also several links worth of discussion about whether Jon Richardson is a dick and how annoying it is to have your ex-flatmates on panel shows where they get asked to tell embarassing stories about you, which was also very funny. Very good episode. They should broadcast hungover more often. Obviously not really, it's a very good thing that an alcoholic has quit drinking. I should say, I hope there are more episodes in the past where they're broadcasting hungover but also fairly giddy and in a basically bad but excitable mood. It's very funny.

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messedupfan · 2 years

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When I Look At You | Chapter 10

Summary: Reader and Leigh adjust to the news that they are having a baby!

A/N: I apologize if your favorite color is pink haha Also if you want to suggest a name for the baby I will be happy to consider it. OR the baby's name could be y/(s/d)/n. I'm letting y'all have a choice in the matter. Let me know what you think and enjoy!

Masterlist | All Chapters | All Stories Taglist

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You and Leigh sit staring at the sonogram images confirming what she already knew. It has been a couple of hours since leaving the doctor's office. The news that was supposed to be amazing, weighed heavy on the two of you. Leigh wanted to be as happy as she was the first time. She wished she could be arguing about names with you and making plans for the nursery. However, she also wished that the negative result she got the night she took the first test was the correct result. When she took the test again the next morning it was positive. Then the two of you had to run to the store again to buy more tests. It took four more positives and two more negatives for Leigh to even make the appointment. She has been quiet with fear ever since the doctor confirmed the pregnancy.

For you, all you wanted to do was to protect Leigh from getting hurt again. She wanted to be a mother more than anything and you wanted that for her. You feel frozen at the thought that you can’t guarantee this for her. Every step that you struggled to take before seems to be a walk in the park now. At least you had some control over the outcome of those steps. This was completely out of either of your hands.

“We should eat something, we haven't eaten since breakfast,” Leigh says as she gets up from the sofa. You remain frozen in your spot as you look at the image, the last thing on your mind was food. “What are you in the mood for? I kinda want to order something.” With the lack of your response, Leigh shuts the refrigerator and pulls her phone out. “Hmm, oh this looks good! I'm just going to order, you'll eat pretty much anything.” She says knowing you’re not paying attention to a word she is saying.

The train of thoughts in your mind were racing each other. Forget helping through the pregnancy, there's so much bad that could happen to the baby once they're born. You walk over to your wife and carefully hold her from behind. You pepper a few kisses on the side of her head. “How are you handling this better than I am?” You whisper in amazement.

She takes a deep breath through her nose and struggles to blink away the oncoming tears. “I don't think that I am. It's just that…” she pauses to find the words. Any words that might make sense as to what is going on inside of her. “I just can't sit around and let the fear consume me. I have to move, I have to take care of myself. More than ever before. I can't… I can't let myself spin. I need to think about right now and right now, I'm hungry.” She wipes away a couple tears and you lay your head on her shoulder.

“They do always say that the best way to fight anxiety is to live in the moment,” you say for no particular reason other than to have something to say. You lift your head back up and conjure up the best smile that you can. “What are you getting us?”

Over the course of the next few weeks, you and Leigh are buried in every pregnancy book and online articles. Learning everything there is to learn about having a healthy pregnancy. When Leigh decides to go on a specific diet, you join her in support. Completely cutting out everything you normally enjoy. It was tough on the both of you but there is a significant amount of motivation that pushes the both of you through.

At every doctor visit, the pair of you have a written set of questions and voice record every answer. You go over the top by organizing and labeling each one in case of an emergency. The doctor was concerned about the signs of obsession from the pair of you and suggested that maybe the couple should consider telling people sooner to have outside support and insight.

Leigh, of course, was completely against the idea. What happens if she loses this pregnancy? How was she supposed to face people after yet another loss? But you thought it might be something to consider. Since finding out about the pregnancy, the two of you have become complete hermits. The only time you saw other people was through video calls and doctors appointments. Leigh has found ways to successfully avoid Amy’s weekly dinners and anything her friends or Jules tried to invite her to. As for you, holing up in a house and avoiding the world was nothing new for you. In fact, you’re certain you could write a manual on the subject. You would have been fine with it, if you didn’t recognize the benefits of letting other people in. It’s the way you and Leigh got together in the first place.

You had a plan to wear her down into telling people but before you could even get the words out, you began to imagine the stress it could cause her. That leads you to drop it, figuring she will come around to the idea on her own.

Unfortunately, she does so in the scariest way possible. You were stuck in a meeting with a lawyer because someone was trying to sue you for plagiarism and even though they had no case it was still a headache for you trying to prove that. Plus you had to file a countersuit since they indeed had stolen your work and were making money off of it. It had been occurring for several years but they weren’t gaining nearly as much attention as you had. They were able to hide under the radar until, of course, they got cocky. The mess that this case is, left you unreachable when Leigh needed you.

She woke up with a bad stomach ache and when she went to the bathroom she found a few fresh drops on her underwear. Immediately, she began to call you but your phone was on silent. Not knowing what else to do, she called her doctor who advised her to have someone take her to the emergency room. Leigh thought about ordering a car but she knew she was going to need someone there with her. That’s when she finally caved. She needed to tell someone and fast.

Leigh calls her mom in tears, telling her that she needs her to meet her at a hospital. Since Amy lived too far from them, it was still better that she order a car to take her to the hospital. She of course lies to the driver for the reason and holds back her tears until she arrives. Her doctor is there and gets a private exam room for Leigh right away. Luckily, when Amy arrives there is only good news to be delivered. She wraps her daughter in the tightest hug as they shed tears of relief and happiness. It was only spotting, it wasn’t something that was going to escalate and the stomach ache was from the extra fiber she had been eating. She is safe, the baby is safe.

When you finally have a chance to check your phone, your heart drops at the number of missed calls. A familiar fear settles itself in the pit of your stomach as you return her call. Leigh is still crying when she answers and it breaks your heart. “No,” you say as you slump against the wall. “Not again,” your voice cracks.

“No,” Leigh says with glee. “Everything is fine, we’re fine. It was just a little scare.”

“Really?” You say with relief.

“Yeah, um, the doctor confirmed that it was just my body making room for the baby. Her heart is so strong. I think we’re going to make it,” she says confidently. Although it was far too early to tell, Leigh had a feeling that the baby was going to be a girl so she has already gotten in the habit of using feminine pronouns for the baby. She didn’t want to refer to the baby as an it and neither did you. But you weren’t sure which gender you preferred to refer to the baby as so you would cycle through the basic pronouns. “Oh and my mom says hi.”

You smile wide at the news and wipe away the tears that had slipped out. “You told your mom?”

She laughs a little on her end and the sound warms your heart. “Uh yeah, I needed someone to be here for me and my spouse is bad with phones. Not that I blame you, it’s known that the older generation don’t understand these devices the way us young ones can.” You laugh and tell her that you’re not that old. “Sure Jan,” she says in reference to a movie you dislike.

“I’ll try to wrap this up so that I can come home. Unless you need me right now?”

Leigh sighs, “I always need you. But it's better if you finish with the lawyer. I'll be waiting for you at the house. Mom will keep me company until then, so will Bandit.”

“Tell them both I say hi,” the assistant to the lawyer steps out to give you a time warning and you thank them. “Ugh, I have to go. I hate people,” you grouch. “I love you, Leigh. I'll see you in a bit.”

“I love you too, I'll see you soon.”

You hang up the phone and rush to the bathroom to clean yourself up. The nervousness in your stomach causes you to believe you're about vomit but it was a false alarm. You leave the stall and throw water on your face and dry up before heading back into the boardroom to discuss what needed to be.

Entering the second trimester wasn’t without worry but you began to feel like you could breathe again. Leigh began to relax and feel more secure, she even purchased a baby naming book when she was out doing errands. You smiled when you saw the book and asked her if she saw any that felt right to her. She told you to open it and inside you found page after page of highlighted names.

“I think I have discovered what pregnancy brain is. I swear half the names I used to hate. Some of them even remind me of people I can’t stand but then I thought about holding our baby and using the name and ugh. They’re all so precious!” She excitedly hops over to where you were standing against the kitchen island. She leans her head against your arm, “I know that I shouldn’t have only highlighted girls' names but I did pick a few gender neutral names. And I’m sorry, but we are definitely not having a boy, that’s not the baby I keep seeing you play with in my dreams.”

You laugh at her enthusiasm and kiss the top of her head. “It’s okay, we don’t need to contribute to the male population anyway. You should sit down, I’m going to make us some dinner.” You tell her as you close the book and hand it over to her. “You can tell me why we should use every name in the book for our daughter while I cook.”

She kisses your lips before sitting on one of the barstools to read each name. Sometimes the reason behind her liking is because the name has a beautiful meaning. Another reason is because it reminds her of some of her favorite artists. You move around the kitchen and continue to adore her bright energy. She had been under a heavy darkness for so long you almost forgot that wasn’t the person you knew. Now she seems more like herself.

A month after being in the clear, she wanted to announce the baby to everyone but not in any of the conventional ways. No, she wanted a big party. She wanted to see everyone’s reaction when she told them. So, Leigh completely throws herself into planning the perfect party. You don't try to convince her out of it, figuring that she will let it go and move onto a new and less stressful way of announcing the pregnancy. However, she spends far too much time planning and going over every single detail. Getting into crying fits at any small inconvenience. It leads you to suggest that instead of some big event, maybe it should be a small intimate dinner amongst family first then the two of you could get professional photos done and make a post about it. To which she replied, “That’s not fair to you! You’re an adult orphan! You need your friends there!” You tried not to find it amusing because she would get even more upset.

“Well, your family is my family now. Isn’t it?” You reply in a calm tone. “Besides, you’re all the family that I need.”

It puts the tears to a halt as she remembers that you are in fact part of her family. She feels an intense warmth spread through her chest and she crushes you against her in a big hug. “You’re so sweet, I hope little Renesmee is as sweet as you.”

You sigh into her chest, “How did you find the Twilight stash?”

“I didn’t, I bought more,” she admits and you sigh. She has been going through many phases throughout her pregnancy, the Twilight one has to be your least favorite so far. It wouldn’t have been so bad if she didn’t keep threatening to name the baby after the characters. You shake your head and she giggles claiming that your hair is tickling her. You try to pull away so that it wouldn’t happen and she doesn’t allow it. “No, it’s fine. You can’t go, I want to snuggle,” she convinces you to stay in the rather awkward and uncomfortable position she has trapped you in. The two of you lay on the couch in a comfortable silence for sometime. Every time you try to pull away, she tightens her hold. At some point you’re convinced she has fallen asleep but you were wrong and she continues to deny you of your freedom. So you stay and Leigh plays with your hair while you focus on listening to her heart beat instead of the tight pain on your lower back from not being able to get in a better position. “Maybe we should rent out one of those banquet halls? Oh wouldn’t that be so fun?” She randomly says. It amazes you how her mind still runs wild while she relaxes.

This time you escape her arms, “What’s wrong with this place? There’s plenty of space.”

She looks around the living room, “If we have it here we’d have to get a DJ and not a live band. Which I already paid for, they will only be playing songs about pregnancy and babies.” You ask her if she is joking and she shakes her head before breaking into a telling grin. “I’m messing with you, they will play other songs too.” You get up from the couch and grab her electronic devices. “What are you doing?”

“No more party planning, you’re grounded,” you walk away and Leigh follows you telling you that she was joking and begs you to not take her new passion away. Because of her little wattle, she was a little slower than usual. When you walk into your office, laughing, you turn on the light and find Bandit whimpering on the floor. You set the devices on your desk and go to his side. There are chocolate wrappers around his face and you curse as you pick him up. They were a rich type of chocolate that Leigh had told you to put away somewhere out of Bandit’s reach. You didn’t think he would get them from your desk but you must’ve forgotten to close the door all of the way. “Babe, don’t be alarmed but we need to get in the car.”

Leigh grabs her phone from your desk before looking at you, “Why?” You tilt your head towards the mess that Bandit made and she begins to get emotional again. “Oh no! Baby, why would you do that?” Then she smacks your arm with the angriest look in her eyes that you’ve ever seen from her. “You were supposed to put those away so he couldn’t find them!” Bandit whimpers again and it makes your wife fall apart.

“Okay, hun, you can’t drive if you’re crying and I can’t drive at all. Breathe with me,” you quickly explain and do some breathing exercises to calm her down again. “Are you going to be okay?” You say when she stops sobbing. She nods, holding her breath and you give her a look. Leigh breaks and you know what you have to do. You couldn’t wait for a car or prolong Bandit’s pain waiting for Leigh’s mood to swing again. “I can do this,” you whisper to yourself over and over. “And I’m doing this, grab the keys. Let’s go,” you speed walk out of the office to get to her car.

When Leigh enters the garage, you take the keys from her and tell her to sit in the back with the dog. “Are you sure about this? You haven’t driven in years!”

“No, but my family needs me to. So I have to. Go comfort Bandit. Besides, it’s my fuck up.”

Leigh begins to cry even more and you reassure her that Bandit is going to be fine. She waves you off. “That’s not why I’m crying. You’re just so… you’re just so good. I would marry you again if I could.”

You give her a nervous smile and kiss her forehead. “It’s a good thing you don’t have to, now come on.” You nudge her in the direction of the backseat door and she finally gets in the vehicle. Starting the car is an easier process than it has ever been before. Maybe it was because you were in a hurry to make sure your dog was okay. Maybe it was because that dog not only meant a lot to you, he meant the world to your wife. She sometimes worried she wasn’t going to love the baby nearly as much as she loves Bandit. Whatever the reason, it returned the confidence you needed in order to drive to the animal hospital.

A week later, you and Leigh decide to announce the pregnancy over social media so that she can put her previous plans into throwing her own baby shower. She knew that they were usually thrown for the pregnant person and not by them but she already had so many plans of her own and didn’t trust her sister to do it for her. You saw nothing but future arguments and hurt feelings so you made a compromise with her to give Jules a chance to prove her wrong. Leigh didn’t want to but eventually agreed to invite her sister over.

However, instead of not having you involved with the planning, she made sure you were there when she and Jules talked things over. You figured that you would be able to distract yourself with Avery but Jules left her with Amy so she didn’t have to worry about her daughter being a disruption. You wanted to be upset but you knew Leigh wanted you to be a witness to Jules proving her right so that when she took over, you couldn’t accuse her of being stubborn.

“Are you guys going to do a gender reveal party beforehand or just do the baby shower?” Jules asks as she gets a notepad and pen out of her bag. “You know, so people know what gifts to get y’all.”

“Uh,” you look at your wife uncertain of what she wants.

“No, of course not. You know Y/n, they’re not into all of that assigned gender bullshit. That’s all that those are really for. I want to respect that. Also we’re not going to have the gifts be specific to one sex. And I want the theme to reflect that, so all pink or all blue is out.” Leigh’s answer surprises you because all she has talked about since getting comfortable with the baby is that she is carrying a girl. “I was thinking of having some blue because I love blue. But pink cannot be there.”

“Babe, you don’t have to change your plans because of me,” you whisper into her ear.

She hands you her tablet so you can look through her original plans. Leigh wanted to do a theme combining your main favorite color with hers. It wasn’t only about her and what she wanted, she considered what you might want as well. It warmed your heart. You slide through the pages she had set up and start second guessing letting someone else be in charge of something she held so personally to her. But at the end of the day, anything to keep the peace between the sisters takes a bit more priority.

“I actually have a concept if you want to get an idea of what I want,” Leigh takes the tablet from your hand and resets it to hand it to Jules.

The girl visibly relaxes, “Oh thank goodness. I really wanted to do this for you because you were so amazing with mine. But let’s be honest, I would only piss you off and stress you out.” Leigh gives you an I told you so look that makes you drop your head. “What? What am I missing?”

Leigh opens her hands in your direction to let you explain and you do. “I’m sorry, I probably just wasted everyone’s time today,” you say sheepishly.

Jules shakes her head, “No, I’m still going to throw this for you guys. I’m going to make the necessary calls and do the shopping with Leigh. Take on the host responsibilities, make the thank you card list, run the games. All of that. It’s just better that we don’t pretend like I have any ideas that Leigh will like.”

Leigh begins to get emotional and you rub circles on her back. “You finally get me,” she says to her sister. Jules gives a sympathetic look towards you and you wave it off as you comfort your wife. It makes her feel slightly envious that she didn’t have that support when she was pregnant or even now. Sure, she had her family around for doctors visits and for the birth but after, all she had was herself. No one to hold her when at night. No one to comfort her when she was emotional. No one to share the excitement of her daughter's milestones. “I will allow you to pick the date,” Leigh says, wiping her tears and breaking Jules out of her head.

The woman smiles, “Perfect. When do you find out the sex of the baby? If I may ask.” She pauses, “Sorry, are you guys finding out?”

“Yes,” you say with certainty. Leigh had wanted to know as soon as she could but you were hesitant to. It didn't really matter to you because either way you would be happy and you were prepared to raise them to be whoever they wanted to be. But, you knew it was important to Leight. She bursts into another round of tears, this time pulling you into a hug. Anytime you say or do anything in her benefit she has to have you as close to her as possible. “We’ll let you know when we find out so you can set the date and make the calls.”

The baby shower exceeded expectations and everything ran smoothly. During the time between the Bandit incident and the shower, you secretly worked on getting your driver’s license so you could surprise Leigh with it. You waited until she had opened all of the presents before you placed your gift on the table.

“Oh look at that, you have one left,” you say with a nervousness that makes Leigh suspicious.

She grabs the small wrapped box and tears it open. You chew on your painted nails in anticipation of her reaction. You watch her face closely as her eyes and mouth widen in excitement. She covers her mouth with her hand as the tears blurr her vision. She picks the card out of the box and holds it up for everyone to see. “Babe, is this real?” You nod your head and she waves you to her to give you a hug. “I’m so proud of you! Guys! My spouse can drive!” Everyone cheers and congratulates you.

At the end of the party you continuously get distracted as you watch Leigh interact with Avery while cleaning up after the guests. Stevie approaches you when it happens while they were going on and on about the drama at some big Hollywood event they got their newest boyfriend to get them in. “I’m really proud of you,” they say standing next to you as they also watch Avery laugh uncontrollably because of something silly that Leigh did.

You shrug, “It was time I started driving again.”

“No, that’s not what I’m talking about. I mean, yeah, sure, I’m proud of you for that too. But you’re right. You’re about to be a parent again and you need to be able to drive. What I’m talking about is,” they put their hand on your shoulder to get you to look at them. “I’m proud of you for choosing to live. I’m proud of you for rebuilding your life. For,” they gesture to the remodeled home, to your pregnant wife, to you. “For accepting love and building all of this. For not hating the world forever or giving up on life.” You feel yourself choking up from their words and get an unsettling knot in your stomach. “I have seen you through your worst and your best. I have watched you struggle and thrive. And you’ve seen me through the same. I know that we weren’t born siblings but you are the closest thing I will ever have to a family and I have to tell you how proud of you I am.”

You thank them and prepare to give them a speech of appreciation in return but they stop you. “I’m not finished.” They look at their feet and try to remember how to breathe. “I have to tell you something that has been hard for me to come to terms with. Even harder for me to try and tell you.” Stevie lifts their head but they can’t quite look you in the eyes. “I don’t want you to spiral out when I do tell you. So promise me, you won’t shut down or go crazy with research and trying to find a way around this. Because I have exhausted every resource I have and there is no way out of this.”

“Stevie, you’re scaring me,” you admit.

They squeeze your shoulder with sorrowful eyes. “I’m dying.”

You drop the garbage bag in your hands and crush them against you. “Damn you.” They laugh through their tears, not really knowing what they expected your reaction to be. It wasn’t this. “I love you, Stevie. I’m here for you. Anything you need, you know I will get it for you.” You pull away to look at them through your tears. “Do you know how long you have?” They nod but offer no details. You figure they won’t. “Will you be there to meet the baby?”

“I hope so,” they reply.

You take a sharp breath, “Well, I suppose asking you to be a godparent is out of the question.”

They scoff, their big smile making its appearance for a moment. “Yeah, I don’t think I qualify. But I promise to be another guardian for the baby,” Stevie looks back to your wife, “for her too. With you driving around again, they’ll need it.” You shake your head, finding their dark humor to be unmatched. “And for you. Of course,” they return their gaze to you.

“I’m going to miss you.”

“Good, I’m counting on it. I might not have ever made it big but, I have stories to be told and I want them to be told by you.” They reach in their pocket and pull out a key. “This key is to a lock box full of stuff that I recorded for you. My lawyer will give it to you after I, you know.” You take it from them and stare at it. “You can turn me into a fun character or simply transcribe and publish them. I don’t know. But I trust that you will make me proud.” You nod, unable to say a word. “One more thing, you can’t tell anyone.” You start to protest but they raise their voice above you to shut you up. “I can’t have people treating me differently. You’ve known me my entire adult life, I cannot stand pity and my last months of life cannot be filled with pity. I refuse to go out that way.”

You promise to keep this between the two of you and they give you another hug. Leigh comes out to the backyard upset. “Y/n! I thought we agreed that we would ask Stevie together!” She scolds you.

“It’s my fault Leigh, I was getting impatient. I had to know if I was in the running so I could get rid of the competition if I had to!” They cover for you so you don’t have to lie to your wife. You force a laugh to play along but Leigh can tell something is up. She doesn’t pry, she lets you be. But she is worried.

Jules walks by with two large and full garbage bags and drops them dramatically. “What the hell guys! We were supposed to clean together! This place is still a huge mess and you haven’t even filled one bag?”

“Oh you guys are in trouble,” Leigh teases but it’s hard for you to maintain a smile.

You apologize and resume cleaning. Telling Stevie and Jules that they are free to leave and thanking them for all of their help. “Don’t have to tell me twice!” Stevie steps over the bags the two of you had abandoned. “Come on Jules! Let’s blow this popsicle stand!” They lead your in-law away to help her pack up her things to leave.

“Everything okay?” Leigh asks.

You take a moment to look at her before answering. Almost testing if the thing that made you fall in love with her was still true. You smile when it proves to be. “Yeah, everything is okay,” you say, wrapping your arm around her.

The next few months you gradually lose sleep having to run out of the house to cater to all of Leigh’s late night cravings. You do your best to stock up on things she might want in the middle of the night but every night you end up having to go to the store to find what she needs. It would have driven you crazy if it hadn’t been a good distraction from waiting for the phone call that your best friend has passed away. Everyday felt like you were holding your breath and dragging your feet, waiting for that call. You see them as much as you can but it doesn’t feel like enough. You know that won’t feeling won’t go away. But you still try to make it disappear so that it hurts less when they do.

When the day does come, it isn’t a phone call. You were typing away on your computer, leaving comments on Leigh’s story that she asked you to revise when you just stop. You stop typing, you stop thinking, you stop breathing. The moment passes and there is a knock on the front door. A tall woman with a woeful look holds a big box in her hands. You take it and place it beside the door. “Is that all?”

She nods her head, “I’m sorry for your loss. Stevie was a… magical person.”

You thank her, wish her a good day and shut the door. Leigh returns home after running errands all day to find you sitting in your office staring at the box with a drink in your hand. “What happened?” She asks, it’s been a while since you’ve opened a bottle unless it was to pour for someone else.

“Stevie was sick,” you sigh. “I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone. I would have told you, if it was anyone or anything else. But I couldn’t,” she turns the light on and it hurts your eyes but you don’t move them from the box. “This is everything they left me. Which was pretty much everything they had to their name. They grew up in the foster system, never had any family that they knew of. No one gave them the love they deserved, plus they gave up looking a long time ago. I’m the only next of kin they have.” You frown and ponder taking a sip from your glass. “Had,” you correct. “I was the only family they had.” You set the glass next to the box as you cry into your hand.

Leigh waddles her way to your side and holds your head to her protruding stomach as the sobs rip through you. She bites her lips to hold back her own tears. “This is what you’ve been hiding from me.” You apologize to her over and over and she hushes you while combing her fingers through your hair. “It’s… well it’s not okay. You shouldn’t have to have carried this on your own. But I understand why you did it.” She looks at the glass on your desk and the bottle that looks to have only poured that single drink and she is confused. “You’re not drunk right now?” She asks.

“You could go into labor any minute now. I have to be ready for that. Stevie would have killed me if I missed out on that for them.” You reply, keeping your head on her belly. Thinking about the life growing inside.

“I probably would have too,” she admits with a small laugh. “Is there going to be a funeral?”

“No, they donated their body to science. Stevie left specific instructions that we have to throw the biggest birthday party for them ever. They wanted to be celebrated, not mourned.” You answer as you sit back in your chair. “Their birthday this year has already passed so we have time. I just, I don’t know how I’m supposed to tell people.”

Leigh doesn’t hesitate to offer her services but when she does she is hit with a sharp pain that she has to breathe through. You ask her if she is okay and she waves you off. “Yeah, it’s just braxton hicks. I’ll be fine. I can take care of telling everyone. Okay?” She asks for your phone and when you hand it to her she finds that Stevie had that taken care of.

They had a video posted to their social media page to announce it themself. The comments were nothing but disbelief and telling Stevie it wasn’t a funny joke. Leigh showed it to you and you couldn’t believe it. They had put together an insane video done in a mockumentary style starring only them. They had costumes and portrayed other people for the interviews and having the people give testimonials they would want from them. They even played you and Leigh. It made you laugh hysterically because it was a perfect capture of who they were. You share the post with the caption, “This is real. I will miss you forever, Stevie.”

You spend the next few days mourning your best friend and the only sibling you ever needed. You try not to let the grief consume you so heavily because they would be so mad at you for it. You consider finding another grief group to attend, since the loss is bringing up the reminder that you lost a wife and a daughter and wouldn’t be where you are without Stevie. Then it happens.

Leigh goes into labor. She is in the kitchen preparing a snack when her water breaks. She didn’t notice at first until Bandit kept sniffing around her feet and started whining for her attention. You walked in to grab a glass of water for yourself when you noticed the dark stains on her pants. “Uh, love? I think you had an accident.”

“What?” She fails to look at her legs because her stomach is in the way so she feels around and jumps when she feels the wet spot. “No! My water broke!” She says with excitement.

“Oh my goodness! Are you sure?”

“Yes! Go get the car ready! Now!” She rushes you out of the kitchen. You open the closet where the overnight bags are stored and the things you would need for bringing the baby home in. You quickly pack the car and go back inside to help Leigh out to the car. She is screaming and clutching your hand through a contraction in the living room and you check your watch so you can time them before you actually leave for the hospital. A few minutes later, she is screaming through another one and that’s when you begin to panic.

“Okay, time to get you in the car!” You say as you help her from her seat and with sliding her slippers on. Pulling up to the hospital you park the car and take a moment to appreciate this moment in your life before it's gone. “We’re going to have a baby,” you grin at her.

“We’re going to have a baby,” she repeats and kisses you on the lips. “Let’s go!”

Chapter 11

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#sorry for your loss #fanfiction #leigh shaw #leigh shaw imagine #leigh shaw x reader #sorry for your loss imagine #leigh shaw x y/n #leigh shaw x you #when i look at you

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