#only posting this so I can motivate myself to finish said fanart (and get my thoughts out onto something concrete)

[unmotivatedartistry]

I'm too scared to shove myself into the TSP space immediately so Y'know What. Time to make an unbearable amount of fanart for my favorite TSP artists, post it, and THEN post my own content. Because I think that'll work well.

#only posting this so I can motivate myself to finish said fanart (and get my thoughts out onto something concrete) #simon says #I won't tell you which ones but it's like 6 people I'm planning for so far hehehe #got the references and all #also I'm about to make the TSP blog so!! look out for that #but I have to make a PFP+banner for it first #ahhahfga idk im just very energetic the last few days and have been planning a LOT #of art stuff #idk i guess I just eased my way out of art block!! #so if my blog is suddenly bombarded by art. #be prepared lmao #and mini animations since I'm working on those too!! #hehehe #you can ignore this I'm only doing this to like. get out my energy and excitement and thoughts

[ask-the-totally-real-peppino]

(I have been trying to write this post for a while, but it keeps coming out like a sob story, and it is really not that deep jkfdgkj

So I am just going to say it, bc you guys know I love to ramble for ages, and I need some opinions

1 year of this blog is tomorrow (or today depending on how long I take to write this kjldfg), and I really do appreciate you all being here - if you have been here since the beginning, or just followed recently - if you've sent an ask, liked, reblogged, shared with a friend, theorised, made fanart, or followed me to my art blog and watched me make (and continue to make) a billion clones, anything; thank you

I made this blog on a whim, only like a week after getting into Pizza Tower, and I had no idea it would turn into what it is now

Of course, in the beginning there were a lot of actual posts, like with backgrounds and multiple characters, and I'd post several times a day if I could - and while I was having fun, it was not ideal - I'd frequently post at 7am after spending all night working on a post then I'd pass out, I'd forgo eating or showering just to draw, and I had wrecked my wrist several times, and continue to push pass the pain just to post

It wasn't just hyperfixation, it was obsession - much easier to realise that in retrospect

I was also medicated at the time, I had been on antidepressants for 3 years, so around April (I think) I ran out of meds and was unable to get more due too third party issues/unable to get in contact with my doctor/etc (and unbeknownst to me at the time, the last two packs I had were expired) - so I am sure you can imagine the sort of affect suddenly going cold turkey on the med that make you not wanna die has on a person - I was not doing great to put it lightly

But I still wanted to continue - so many people had praised me on the frequency of posts, and how excited they were and all this validation - I couldn't let people down! (Also I was, and still am, a disabled shut-in loser with no friends, posting is like the only social interaction I had/have kdfgkgfd)

But I think I did - I intimidated myself out of drawing main posts with how much work they were, started the intermission even though I said I shouldn't, had no script or direction and that I was not 100% invested in to try to motivate myself back into main posts, and it was just easier to draw silly ooc posts than do the thing I really wanted to do instead

Of course, this is not any of you guys' fault - I have always had this issue of starting something, it getting way bigger than I can manage, crashing and then just unable to get going again - I have so many unfinished comics, half-done projects and abandoned askblogs it's not even funny - but it's also like, not the end of the world, if I don't finish things I start for fun - sure, I'll feel guilty as hell for a while, but life moves on

So that being said, I would still very much like to continue the story here - I have been working on some stuff in the background (I even updated Pep's reference in the last few days, with a ton of new stuff), but I still don't think it's gonna be soon - I am doing somewhat better than I was, and I actually have an appointment for with my doctor finally (I will probably have to do some reassessments since they can't just put me back on the meds, after not having them for almost a year, and then I'd have to probably get reaccustomed to side effects etc), so despite it all I am still here

I am not sure if I want to continue the intermission with Bean and Fiend at this time - I know a few folks enjoyed it (mostly bc Fiend kjsdfkj) - but as mentioned previously it was unplanned, unscripted, and I was quickly not feeling it, as I am sure some of you guys were too - the intention was for Fiend to give you guys another hint to the main story, but getting to that point was not fun - I might do a poll on this in a separate post

I also mentioned a while back that I would be cutting down the Big Post into smaller posts, and posting as and when parts were done - but once again, do not expect these soon - (although there is a very late Valentines post coming hopefully soon)

And I think that should hopefully be it for now - I know this is a huge post, and probably still a bit sob story-ish, but oh well - I also know that the hype for Pizza Tower had unfortunately died down significantly, but I'm still working on PT stuff on my art blog @smalltimidbean if you wanna see more silly things (and maybe some lore for here hehe)

It is also the first now, so happy birthday Pep

Okay, thank you, and see you later)

#ooc post

[fishklok]

would it be annoying if I asked for advice? If so, ignore this ask

But like how do you make time for yourself while applying for law school? How do you have time to constantly make this amazing fanart and fics? Just asking bc I'm a college freshman and I'm losing it like I don't have time to do anything anymore!! Like shit man I just wanna draw mtl fanart and chill but literally college takes up 95% of my time. Good luck with law school btw and I apologize if this like asking TOO much

It's not annoying at all, happy to help :)

It helps that applying to law school hasn't really taken up that much of my time. At least when compared to when I was a full time employee/student. Writing my personal statements/essays did take some time, but not enough to prevent me from doing other shit too. When I actually start law school, I highly doubt I'll be able to post much of anything.

But when I was studying for the LSAT, I did have to carve out large chunks of my free time that I would normally use to write/draw to study instead. And just a few weeks ago, I took an entire day to apply to as many law schools as I could in 8 hours (pro tip: don't do that).

When it comes to taking time for myself, it really came down to recognizing my own mental needs and limits. I used to play a lot of video games, but gaming isn't really something my mind "needs" to decompress. I've been way too busy to touch any of my games, but it's really not a big deal. On the other hand, running is something I need to do. I could be absorbed into a drawing or a piece of writing or even cooking breakfast, but if that voice in my head goes "you need to go run now", I have to do it. When I'm unable to run, my mental health plummets. So that's something I can't remove from the list. And drawing/writing is somewhere between those two extremes. Drawing isn't really something I do to relax, so I can go a day or two without drawing anything. But writing is now part of my bedtime ritual. Even if it's just an extra 200-400 words, the day doesn't feel complete until I write. I can skip a day if I'm truly beaten down, but I try to avoid that.

I hope this all makes sense and sorry if this doesn't truly answer the question. I can try to put some more actionable advice together.

As I said, recognize your own needs and limits. If you're burnt out from school and writing/art will only make you feel worse, don't force it. Taking time for yourself doesn't have to involve production.

Inspiration/motivation comes in waves. I spent most of July and August barely able to finish little doodles and drawing felt like the biggest chore. Now, I'm past that hurdle and I can spend an entire free day drawing without feeling like I'm pushing myself.

I hate myself for giving this advice, but planners. I have ADHD so trust me, I hate the "get a day planner!" advice, but...it has really helped. It was more helpful pre-pandemic when I was physically going to class, but I would make a habit of writing down everything I have coming up so when I get anxious about deadlines, I can read my planner and know exactly how many days I have to do it. I usually used my planner for deadlines, but some people (my dad) will plan out their days by the hour. Right now, I mostly use my personal discord server where I'll jot down notes or things I have to remember. Whichever is helpful to you, but having a concrete thing that says "this is what you have to do and how much time you have to do it" can take a lot off my shoulders personally. Because if you have all these abstract deadlines and obligations clouding your mind it can be very easy to get overwhelmed. But if they're listed out, it's easier to go "okay, so the most pressing thing I have isn't due for a week and I'm already halfway done. I'm going to draw now."

To clarify, none of this day-planning stuff came naturally to me at all lol. It took over a decade of me missing real deadlines and panicking over nonexistent ones for me to finally develop a system. And even then I don't always stick to it as well as I should lol.

Sorry this got rambly and I worry I'm not being that helpful. But I hope at least some of my advice is useful.

[helloyellow17]

Hey fellow mutual!

First off I hope you're doing well! I often see your posts and they make me very happy and often give me good uplifts, so thank you very much for the little you do, even if it's not a big thing and we've never officially spoken (though I am a HUGE fan of OSAS! I gotta do more fanart of it tbh lol).

Speaking of OSAS, this ask is in no way pushing you to "work now work now," I was just wondering when or if you had plans to bring OSAS back! It's a genuinely fun story that follows Colosseum pretty closely with some fun twists, and I just really enjoy your take on it. It's highkey my headcanon.

Again, please don't take this as a "You Nust Write cause I'm asking you to," I'm not, I very much understand you have to do your own life first and foremost. And obviously writing is a long process! I was just wondering when we might see an installment, and let you know that I do genuinely enjoy your artwork. It makes me happy, and gosh I hope it makes you just as happy.

Again, thanks for all of the fun content and for popping into my life every now and then with your content. The new kittens are super cute and I love that they're basically Neo and Novo lol.

Okay FIRST OF ALL, I need you to know that this is live footage of me after reading this ask:

But seriously, your ask has made my whole week. Maybe my whole month. Bless you, I love and adore you. 😭

To answer your question, I ABSOLUTELY have every intention of continuing OSAS. I know it’s been quite a while since my last chapter—there are many reasons for the delay, the main ones being a severe loss of confidence and hardcore general burnout that took me quite a while to recover from.

I am still building my writing confidence back up, and I’m still learning to pace myself with all my projects so that I don’t burn out like I did last fall—I’m not perfect at either one, but I’m in a much better place than I was a year ago! Slow and steady progress.

The next chapter of OSAS is fully outlined and more than halfway done! And the chapter after that is fully outlined. My goal is to outline at least the next four chapters by November, so that when NaNo hits I can just GO TOTALLY NUTS WITH WRITING. >:)

With that said, while I hope to at least finish and publish the next chapter by November, that’s probably the only update you’ll see from me until then, since right now I am pouring a ton of energy into Inktober and pacing myself there properly so I won’t be too burned out to participate in NaNo. (Which happened last year, lolwhoops. 🙃)

My ultimate goal is to get back into a regular writing routine like I used to have, and I’m at least hoping that NaNo will be just the kick I need. But regardless of what happens, you can be assured that I will never, NEVER give up on OSAS. This project is dearer to me than any project I have ever done before. (And that is SAYING something because I am a person who often juggles about 75 projects at once, ahahaha.) Completing OSAS is one of the most important personal goals I have set for myself, and even if it takes me years, I am SET on achieving it. 💛

Thank you so so much for the ask—if anything, this has given me a GIANT BOOST of motivation, which I can always use more of! (Also, confession time, I totally go back and look at your fanart sometimes for a pick-me-up. 😭 I TREASURE IT MORE THAN YOU’LL EVER KNOW.)

Thanks again, and I hope you’re also doing well! Feel free to send me asks any time. 🥰

#of sand and shadows #osas #pokemon fanfiction #fanfic authors #writer asks #hywrites

[alevolpe]

Hi! I see you are trying to post a drawing every day. Do you go by a prompt list? How do you keep yourself motivated (I also have been slacking off lmao)

Hey! I know what that's like trust me.

I feel like my biggest motivator was seeing how much I was struggling to draw, I was begging to use reference photos more as a crutch than as a tool and my art was suffering hard for it.

Your motivation is gonna differ from mine depending on your goals. I want to pursue animation as a career, so I had to stop what I was doing and truly ask myself ' at my current skill level, could I realistically compete in the industry' and the answer was fuck no.

Why do you want to keep drawing? Just to get better? To pursue a career? To make yourself happy? To install a level of virtue?

Different goals will push you toward different levels of discipline and motivation.

I have been only doing it for less than a week, but I already found myself starting to make excuses. Oh, I'm so tired, oh today it's just not my day, I can skip today and post 2 drawings tomorrow... and that is the n1 reason why I'm posting all my drawings for this challenge.

I work a regular 9-5 and I'm a full time student, not too hard, but I don't have all the time in the universe. I said to myself, I'm posting these, I'm holding myself accountable, so if I fuck up and miss a day everyone will see. Maybe it's a shame motivator, maybe some advanced form of people pleasing, but I do really feel like this is the best way to actually draw evryday for ME. I procrastinate, a lot.

Regarding prompts, I'm always open for requests, but I don't really have the traction to gain more than a couple of 'em. I do not follow any prompt list cause I feel like that would not be very engaging, but that's probably a me thing.

Usually what I do is write down everything that passes through my mind, just open notepad on my phone and scribble the concept of the drawing (5-6 words at most). I have 2 pages worth full of bullet notes that I skim through every day when looking for prompts. Also Pinterest, Pinterest is amazing for inspiration in designs, poses, concepts, anything. I use Pinterest more than Tumblr, just scrolling and saving interesting stuff I find; save everything, you'll be thankful later. The algorithm adapts to what you engage with, so it will take a bit of exploration to get a front page that will recommend the right stuff for you if you're a fresh account, but it's 100% worth it.

Last thing, I love Sailor Moon, more than anything. It's the only constant source of inspiration and motivation that carried me for almost 20 years. I will draw fanart for other stuff, but SM is THE reason I do what I do.

I believe in you! You don't have to follow my format since that's a very personalized way of doing daily drawings, but if you tend to slack off, like yours truly, find the thing that will keep you going. For me it was making a promise online and sticking to it, so if I fail I'll be publicly humiliated.

Thanks for writing in, hopefully this was at least somewhat helpful.

Ps. Forgot to mention technically my challenge is to draw 30 mins a day at least, so don't feel forced to finish a drawing, just post what u got done. Better than nothing!

[esther-dot]

I am one of the few dirty show Jonsa/Sansa/Jon fans. I literally have zero motivation to even start reading a series which is unfinished since decade and has very little possibility of even seeing one of the two announced books released. The way show ended was definitely unexpected and disheartening for me. Sansa has always been a hated character even among show stans too but after s8, even Jon got a lot of hate. I understand why people disliked his character in later seasons but I always felt the real blame should be on the writers who turned Jon into a robot for plot reasons. As a show Jonsa shipper, I know I won't be getting any new content from the creators. Unlike book fans, I don't have anything to look forward to in that regard. So the only source of something new for me, since past 2 years, has been amazing and extremely talented creators in Jonsa fandom. Be it fanarts, gif makers, meta writers or fic writers, all of them keep sharing new content about show verse in this fandom, even after 2 years. I am pretty sure I have read every single post s8 or fix it fic in jonsa tag at this point, to get over that ending. Like you said, it's important for everyone to filter their own fandom experience and focus on engaging in what they really like. Vague blogging about someone in your own fandom just because they have different preferences or opinions compared to you, ruins the fandom for everyone in the end. May be Martin will shock us all and finish the series ( and I might finally read it lol) but until then, I just wanted to thank every single Jonsa fan and creator for all the gifts they keep sharing with us!!!

A big kiss for you, anon!

I totally understand. I have moved more into the book fandom than I ever expected because I get asks about it, but I shipped show Jonsa first, and I will always love them! I’m so happy there are still other fans out there loving them too. 💗 The Jonsa fandom overall has been a delight, and I’m thrilled to have found the ship and all you lovely people to enjoy it with! Also, I find reading violence/abuse far more disturbing than watching it in a show/movie (I have no explanation, that’s just the way I’ve always been), so the books are certainly not for everyone as I find them difficult in places myself. And, after that finale, I had a lot of book readers tell me they were done with the books (some people threw them away!) because they were so upset by the ending. So, I think you may have been spared a lot of pain by waiting to read until we get an ending. 

I’ll rec some lovely post s8 fics on the off chance you missed them:

Homecoming 16k, more happiness than you can hold 3.6k, An Affair In Stages 13k, The Sky is Big Enough 15k, Love’s Labor Lasting 20k, Free 10k which is mine and I’m including because writing it just...it took away all my bitterness. Obviously I still rant and rave about the show and I do get mad from time to time, but for some reason, that fic really helped me.

Thank you for the lovely message! 

#ask dot

[thetypedwriter]

All the Young Dudes Fanfiction Review

All the Young Dudes Fanfiction Review by MsKingBean89

So. 

This is a first. 

If you’ve been following this blog for some time, then you know I generally read young adult books and write far too lengthy reviews on them with the occasional outlier of adult fiction, mystery, sci-fi, etc. 

At any given time, I usually have both a physical book that I’ve bought from somewhere that I’m working on (right now it’s Firekeeper's Daughter by Angeline Boulley) as well as a fanfiction that I reserve until before I go to bed (my treat for a day well lived). 

Fanfiction is something that I’ve mentioned copious amounts of times on this blog in varying degrees, but this is the first time I’ll be writing an actual review for one of them on this platform. 

The reason for this is myriad. 

One, this fanfiction called All the Young Dudes is a far-cry from your normal standardized fanfiction of 5-50,000 words-something I can easily consume in a few minutes to a few hours. 

Nope, this behemoth ends on a staggering 526,969 words and 188 chapters, not including bonus chapters and extra in-universe canonical content the author has also written and published. Roughly speaking, if this was actually published onto paper it would be well over 2,000 pages. 

2,000 pages. 

Yeah. And I enjoyed every single moment of it. 

Two, while I read a lot of fanfiction I generally don’t put any of it on this blog because while I’ve dedicated it to published novels, I also usually have very simple feelings about fanfiction. My thoughts run the gambit of: It was good, it was fluffy, it was a train-wreck, so on and so forth. 

Normally my reviews are so long and wordy because I have too many thoughts about the published books that I read and I need an outlet to let them loose. 

Whether because of its longevity or because of its content, All the Young Dudes is a story I find myself having a profusion of thoughts for. Hence, the birth of this review. 

If fanfiction isn’t your thing, feel free to skip this particular review of mine (although fanfiction is a gift to this world and you should really rethink your stance on it if you don’t like it, just saying). 

Third, All the Young Dudes is well written and rivals any actual published content. 

Fourth, because of how extensive this fanfiction is, it took me over a month to read it-time I generally would have been reading something else. Instead of leaving you all hanging for a few more weeks until I finish Firekeeper's Daughter (don’t hold your breath-the book is sort of a slog for me personally right now), I decided to just take the jump and write my first-ever typedwriter review for a fanfiction. 

Fanfiction has been a part of my life for the better part of almost two decades now. It was truly something I found by accident and in retrospect, it’s insane to me that it’s still something that brings me continuous joy and happiness. 

I discovered fanfiction when I was 11-years-old and deeply obsessed with the Harry Potter fandom. 

Now, as an overall disclaimer I completely disagree with J.K. Rowling’s stances of gender and biology and differ wholeheartedly with her views of trans and non-binary individuals. With that said, I still love Harry Potter as a story and while I no longer buy anything that profits J.K. Rowling directly, I still love the fandom and the people in it, including fanworks like All the Young Dudes. 

When I was 11, the seventh Harry Potter book had yet to come out and like many other people in this time period of agony while waiting for 2007 to roll around so that I could find out what happened, I discovered fanfiction as a way to fill in that ache I was so keenly feeling. 

I found myself suddenly immersed in this world of online fiction-both good and bad-but completely entrancing all the same. 

I never left. 

That is to say, I did eventually move onto other fandoms with their own fanfiction cultures, but Harry Potter was still my first in terms of fanfiction and introducing me to the concept as a whole. 

Specifically and maybe oddly, I never found myself curious for actual fanfiction about Harry or Hermione or Ron. In my mind, I already knew what had happened to them and reading about them in fanfiction was redundant. 

In addition, the first fanfiction I just happened to come across was a Lily/James marauder era fanfiction on mugglenet.com

This idea immediately intrigued me as fans as a whole knew next to nothing about the infamous Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs and while I knew everything I needed to about Harry Potter it was intoxicating to think that I could learn about a time before the series had existed and about characters who were important, but off screen. 

I was hooked and devoured as much as I could for most of middle school about the marauders and Lily and James’ romance in particular (I even wrote and published some of my own that will go unmentioned as they are truly really terrible). 

That being said, I haven’t read a Harry Potter fanfiction in years. I grew up and out of the fandom eventually thanks to Twilight and from there I’ve bounced from fandom to fandom as I’ve aged and consumed different things and fallen in love with different characters and different worlds. 

That isn’t to say I’ve forgotten though. 

I still remember my favorite marauder stories, my favorite Sirius Black/OFC (original female character), and my favorite baby Harry drabbles. They made such a huge impression on me and even though it’s been sixteen years, I still recall those stories with fond nostalgia and jubilation. 

Which is why it’s almost ironic that I would return to this particular time period of the marauders with All the Young Dudes. 

In a fashion that’s almost scarily full circle, I happened to be on Youtube one day and saw a recommendation video about this girl reviewing a fanfiction called All the Young Dudes. Now, youtube book reviews aren’t uncommon, but a thirty minute video for a fanfiction? Not your typical sighting. 

So out of pure curiosity, I searched All the Young Dudes fanfiction on Google and low and behold the overwhelming and top results were all for a marauder-era fanfiction by MsKingBean89. Piqued, I clicked on the link in ao3 and thought why not? 

While I’ve mainly been reading in other fandoms recently (BTS, some anime and manga, All for the Game) I had been in a little bit of a slump for finding a really good, really alluring story for some time and really didn’t think I had anything to lose by reading All the Young Dudes, especially as the more research I did, the more I found how popular it was-a plethora of videos on youtube, tiktok compilations, and dozens of fanart posts. 

Plus, it had been so long since I had read anything from my progenitor fandom and the thought of going back was strangely comforting.

Hence the journey of reading All the Young Dudes began and oh what a journey it was. 

Now, that this review is already five pages in, I should probably tell you what on earth All the Young Dudes is actually about. 

The whole story is a marauder-era fanfiction told from Remus Lupin’s POV from the summer of 1971 when Remus is 11-years-old to the summer of 1995 when he is 35-five-years-old. It is an in-depth portrayal of Remus’ time at Hogwarts from year one to year seven and then going all the way up to the start of the second wizarding world, ending around the time Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix begins. 

While already the scope makes this a massive undertaking, the author also includes all canonical content from the original series involving Remus, the Marauders, and the time period and incorporates it into her fanfiction-making it canon compliant from start to finish. 

While a very large portion of this story is not romantic, there is eventual WolfStar (Remus Lupin/Sirius Black) and if you have read the original Harry Potter series...well. You know things don't end up super dandy for these two characters in particular so you know how the story will end before it begins. 

This fanfiction left me speechless for so many reasons. 

The scope and length is frankly unbelievable. This fanfiction was published on March 2, 2017 and it was completed on November 12, 2018.

….how?

How did she manage that? I frankly have no idea, but I am in complete and utter awe at her ability to write content with such a magnitude and actually complete it. She gets an award just for that honestly. 

Not only that, but the fanfiction is actually superbly well-written. I won’t lie and say it’s the most poignant and beautiful piece of literature I’ve ever consumed, but it was consistent in its pacing, characterization, themes, motifs, and structure, which, for 2,000 pages, is an incredible achievement when you think about it. 

Speaking of characterization, everyone was So. Well. Done. 

Remus was such an interesting POV to read from and while he was compliant in every sense of the word-werewolf, prefect, bookish-MsKingBean89 added so much more to his character and fleshed him out so incredibly that it’s truly tragic that he’s not a real person. 

And to that extent, she does this with all of the characters. You see James’ optimism and leadership, Sirius’ arrogance and loyalty, Peter’s jealousy and chess skills. 

Every character was so well-rounded and real. She did an incredible job of taking the bits and pieces from the canon series and using that to build up her own flesh and blood people with motivations, likes, dislikes, dreams, and desires. 

That being said, she also had 2,000 pages to do it sooooooo it would be bad if the characters weren’t fleshed out by the end honestly. 

In addition, I really appreciated that she didn’t just focus on Remus, Sirius, James and Peter. Lily Evans played a critical role in Remus’ school life and after and so did the other Gryffindor girls like Marlene and Mary. 

Too often, the focus is on the boys and their close friendship and while that was a huge focus, we also get to see Remus develop friendships with the girls in his own right and other friends as well that were often OC’s of the author’s. 

Now. OC’s are generally something I dislike. I’m reading fanfiction to read about particular characters that I’ve sought after, not to read about some imaginary cast. However, just like any of the canon characters, all of the OC characters were well-developed and played crucial roles in Remus’ development-while either at Hogwarts or after-and I found myself not minding them in the least. In a few cases (Grant) I actually really loved them. 

The biggest draw for this fanfiction for me was Remus’ time at Hogwarts. It was so well-written and incredibly descriptive and I found myself thrust back into the world of magic so suddenly and seamlessly that it was like I never left. 

MsKingBean89 includes so many intricate details and builds up the world so beautifully that I’d recommend any Harry Potter fan to consume it, just to get some good Hogwarts material out of it. 

Another thing I greatly appreciate about this fanfiction was the slow burn. I’ve read slow burn before (All for the Game trilogy anybody?), but this truly took the cake. Sirius and Remus don’t properly get together until the end of year six going into year seven. That’s over 100 chapters in. 

100 chapters out of 188. 

Meaning that over half of this beast doesn’t have the main pairing even together. For some people, this could be a drawback. You might think to yourself: It takes how long for them to confess their feelings and stop being prats?

A very, very long time. 

However...it didn’t bug me. I like slow burn to begin with, but being along for the ride as Remus goes from being a child to an adolescent with unrequited feelings to being in a relationship with someone he loves is so rewarding and fulfilling that the 100 previous chapters are completely and utterly worth it. 

MsKingBean89 develops them so well and so carefully that the payoff is so sweet and satisfactory that it's enough to bring the tears right then and there. 

The last huge feat of this fanfiction for me was the author’s dedication to canon not just confined to Hogwarts and the Harry Potter books, but also to the time period. Either she lived through the 70’s and 80’s herself or she had done her due diligence when it comes to research because anything from London anti-gay laws to British slang was commonplace in her fic. 

I found it completely amazing how she was able to tie in real-time historical and cultural moments like famous singers and movies playing at the time alongside convoluted muggle politics warring with the wizarding ones. 

I was so blown away by the accuracy and genuine love behind this fic that it often brought me out of my own mind to simply ponder once again how much work this was and how well she was delivering it. 

Even unpleasant things, like homophobia and bigotry, are dealt with in a very carefully constructed way that is aligned with the time period in which the story takes place. 

Unfortunately, everything beautiful is not without flaws and All the Young Dudes is not the exception, although it’s flaws are nary compared to its achievements. 

The few complaints I have with this fic are honestly quite negligible. 

First, there are a few grammatical and punctuation errors. Very few, but I did notice some. 

Next, and again, this complaint is really just me whining, but...the end of the fic was really fucking sad. The end of this whole story took me so much time to complete simply because I didn’t want to read it. 

I know what happened during the first wizarding war and I also know what ended it (James and Lily Potter dying, Harry being shipped off to the Dursley’s, Sirius imprisoned for a murder he didn’t commit, Peter presumed dead) and in one fell swoop Remus lost everything and everyone he ever loved. 

After spending over 1,500 pages of Remus growing to love these people it is absolutely devastating and heart-breaking to see him lose it all. 

The last handful of chapters are just really, really sad and it makes me wonder why MsKingBean89 decided to write it in the first place. Frankly, I don't know why she didn't write about Remus’ time at Hogwarts and stop after graduation because we all know what happens after that and none of it is good. 

Looking back, I wish I could time travel and tell myself to stop at chapter 150. I truly didn’t need to read about the tragedies that happened after that and the hell that all of the characters go through. 

And while it does end on a….sort of kind of maybe positive (?) note with Sirius and Remus reuniting briefly once the events of Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban take place, it was really tainted and bittersweet for me knowing that in a year Sirius would die and Remus would marry his fucking cousin and have a child. 

Urgh. 

I just can’t. 

That being said, I understand it’s not the author’s fault and I’m not saying it is. She wrote a canon compliant fic to the end and it was my choice to continue reading. That being said, she said she ended it before the events of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix because Sirius and Remus are happy and back together and she didn’t want to write what was coming next if she continued. 

I truly, truly get that. 

But in the same vein, why even write the events of the first wizarding world to begin with then? I’m confused with that response as it doesn’t make much sense to me. I felt like ending it right then and there was not a happy ending. They’re together, yes, but at this point they are both shells of who they used to be. Both have severe trauma and PTSD and frankly I don’t even know if I agree with them being together just because they’ve put each other through so much. 

It’s just an interesting choice at the end of the day in terms of the author. 

Once again, however, I truly understand that she can do whatever she wants and that she doesn’t owe anyone anything, especially as she’s writing this for free and just because. So please keep in mind that although I’m complaining, I truly understand how fortunate we are to even have this fic in the first place. 

Okay. 

Secondly, my only other huge complaint is that MsKingBean89 made Remus gay. Not bi, not pan. Gay. 

You could argue that Remus just calls himself gay in the fanficiton as he didn’t know about other kinds of sexuality. You could argue that Remus’ sexuality changes and develops as he ages and experiences trials and tribulations. You could argue that it was a sign of times like so much else in this fic. 

I frankly just found it to be a frustrating choice as the fic is canon compliant and even though it ends before the events of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows we know that Remus eventually marries Tonks and has a baby son named Teddy Lupin. 

How does that make sense?

I tried very, very hard to come up with some sort of feasible explanation for how a gay man would have ended up with the love of his life’s female cousin and truly could not think of one that was not fucked up to some degree. 

Again. I know I’m being nit-picky, but it irked me that she made this choice regarding Remus’ sexuality and essentially ended her fic with Remus stuck in a corner regarding how the series actually ends. 

At the end of the day, all of the negatives are truly, truly not important. I’m just whinging to whine and to express my thoughts, but I do once again understand that MsKingBean89 isn’t profiting from this fic and that she can do what she wants as is her prerogative. 

I hope I was able to express that while I understand that, I can still be frustrated with some of the choices she made. 

To wrap this all up, All the Young Dudes is a masterpiece and is a must-read for anyone who loves Harry Potter, the Marauders, or Wolfstar. I was blown away by the sheer magnitude, the love and care she put into her craft, the slow and deliberate development of all the characters, the beautifully constructed love between Sirius and Remus, and the intricate world-both muggle and magic-that surrounded the story like a cocoon. 

I am so happy I found this fic and I truthfully am floundering at what to do with myself next. If you have any more current Marauder era fics that I’ve missed out in the past eleven years, please don’t hesitate to let me know. 

Recommendation: Go read All the Young Dudes. For weeks, you will cry, you will laugh, you will despair, and you will smile. This fanfiction will make you wish this was canon and in my mind, it now is. 

Score: 8/10

Links:

1. All the Young Dudes on ao3 

2. The Youtube Video about All the Young Dudes that made me aware of its existence 

#all the young dudes #wolfstar #Harry Potter #fanfiction #harry potter fanfic rec #marauders #book review #Book Recommendations #fanfiction recs #fanfiction review #wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar fanart

[margarethx]

I have some slightly controversial take about Sam Wilson fandom here, so maybe don’t reblog this post... Comment if you want, but I really don’t want to start arguing with anyone. I just need to vent and will probably delete the whole rant later.

So...

I know that Sam’s fans complain a lot about the treatment he gets in the fandom... I still do that from time to time and I probably will continue doing it in the future. But I’m starting to feel very, very tired with the people who act like their love for Sam can only be expressed through:

1) criticizing other people’s content,

2) hatered/dislike for Bucky or Sambucky,

3) complaining about other people in the fandom.

It’s so weird. We criticize the people who make Bucky-centric content with barely any mention of Sam and tag it with his name, because it’s annoying, but at the same time there is quite a big number of fans, whose posts in Sam Wilson tag are basically:

“omg he never gets recognition”, “MCU fandom hates Sam”, “Everything is about Bucky, where is Sam?!” “some of you only like sam when he’s with bucky :/”

And... sure. There’s a lot of truth to these statements. But saying that over and over again won’t fix the problem, especially if you yourself don’t do ANYTHING to remedy the situation. You’re flooding the tag too... Just in a different way. A few months ago I had this habit that I liked to follow people who wrote posts like these. Because I had this assumption that: if you complain about Sam being treated badly you probably love him a lot, so we should get along. I love him too!

But I realized that a lot of those people literally complain for the sake of complaining and than don’t even try to post Sam-centric content on their own. Why not??? You don’t have to be an amazing creator to make a good post. It’s not just about realistic fanart and 30k words fanfic with a complicated plot. You might write some weird HCs about Sam instead. Or a joke. Incorrect quotes. Ideas for fics you’ll never finish, but might inspire other people. Doodles that took 2 minutes of drawing. Edited photos. Favourite screenshots. Prompts. Learn to make poor-quality gifs of Sam’s cool fightigh style. Write a short scene analysis. Or ask other people how they analyse some scenes to start a discussion. Link some edits from YouTube.

And if you cannot think of a single thing to make on your own? Well. You can always promote art made by other people. Go through the tag and reblog things you loved. Find a good blog and search throught their archives to find older content. You can compile a post with fic recommendations so other people read what you enjoyed and see how good the content about Sam might be. Or recommend your favourite creators in general. Send encouraging asks to artists who you love so they feel motivated.

--- ----- ---

But these people do none of that. I can scroll throught their blog for 10 minutes and everything about Sam Wilson I see is complaining that people like Bucky more. Or that Sambucky is popular. (As if all the best Sambucky stories aren’t just fans expressing their love towards Sam through Bucky’s eyes...) I’m not trying to say that you have to be a creator to criticize the fandom, but it’s weird when you only yell at others for not posting enough about Sam when you didn’t post anything about him either unless it’s complaining. Kind of ironic...

Also! If you don’t promote other people’s content they get discoraged from posting. It’s a fact. I have probably over 80 different half-made and finished drawings with Sam Wilson on my tablet, but I have zero incentive to post any of them, because every attempt in the past ended with these posts getting 4 notes. Or 10 at best. So why bother? I can look at them alone. And I don’t remember these people who complained about the lack of Sam content supporting my Sam-centric art with nice comments.

You cannot expect the fandom to mass-produce content for you if you don’t encourage it. I got no feedback, so now I just sort of... write or draw for myself, because I enjoy it and have no incentive to publish any of that when no one’s interested. Instead I just make writing prompts or analysis of tfatws, because there’s a bigger chance I’ll have an interesting disussion with other fans in the comments or I’ll inspire other creators to make more art by posting that. I enjoy both of those things very much, but one evokes a reaction I want and the other just... doesn’t. (It’s not even about validation... even if it’s nice to get compliments. It’s just: “when other people are clearly not interested, why make the art public at all?”.)

--- ----- ---

Like I said. I’m not going to call out any specific person here. But there were a few people who harshly criticized me in asks or in private messages for “pretending to love Sam” just because I like Sambucky too. But if you scroll through my blog you’ll find that at least 95% of the posts are about Sam. And if you scroll through theirs it’s 3 posts - all of them about fandom not loving Sam enough. (I just checked.)

But I guess I’m a “disgrace to the fandom”, because I acknowledge that Sam might have a love interest while you said you hate Bucky, so... Apparently your love for Sam Wilson is more real if you despise more popular characters he interacts with. ...Be honest with yourselves. Some of you just like to whine and complain, but prefer to disguise it behind love for Sam, so it sounds justified.

And yes. There should be more content that is only about Sam. Or about Sam’s non-romantic relationships. Sure. But if my two choices are: “get a Sambucky fic about Bucky loving Sam very much” or “get a post where someone cries about Sam not being loved enough for the 10th time”... then pardon me for preferring the first option.

If any of you spent half the energy you waste on complaining on making a single post about your supposed love for Sam the tag would be much more full of good content. But it seems like making actual content requires more effort and talent, so you just stay there whining that other people don’t provide you with what you want and demand. And give zero encouragement and promotion to those who do the work.

So continue doing that if you wish. But I won’t waste all my energy on making my weekly “this fandom fucking sucks” post. I prefer promoting cool art other users made (now or years ago) and creating my own posts that might not be always 100% about only Sam... but are still focused on him. Because I like this fictional little guy. I’m not going to let this weird purity tests ruin my enjoyment. If the pretty drawing of Sam has Bucky on the other side of the canvas I still have a cool drawing of Sam to admire. So it’s a win for me.

--- ----- ---

[Reminder: please don’t reblog this. I really just need to vent. Comments are okay, I can discuss this. I just don’t want some peope to see that and go yell at me all over again. I was already harassed for allowing Bucky or Steve on my mostly Sam-Wilson-centric blog...]

[Also... if you think this is hypocritical of me to complain about complaining... Maybe. I don’t think it’s comparable here, but whatever.]

[busybby]

hello everyone! no one asked for this but notion is now my guilty pleasure so i wanted to join in on creating some notion content (you have no idea how much time i've spent watching notion youtube videos, on notiontwt, and messing with my own notion). honestly i wasn't able to find a notion setup or template that i felt was perfect for me and it took me a long time to acknowledge this and be okay with it (lol this sounds so dramatic). i wanted to use it because it seemed so helpful, but for so long it was so frustrating. i'd spend so much time trying to make it work and then never return to any pages i set up. ultimately, i had to be very intentional about notion: what i wanted to use it for, how often i wanted to use it, etc. the problem was that i felt too overwhelmed to try to just make a set up from scratch. that being said, in this post i'm going to go over not only my own set up but how i got to it.

i actually found notion via @noodledesk​ back in the spring! their posts and set up inspired me to start researching and watching youtube videos. at this point i was just using notion's built in templates. i wanted to make them more personalized, but i was still confused about notion so it didn't go well and i eventually abandoned them. then, over the summer, i rediscovered noodledesk's task prioritization template and began using that. i ended up using it for a longggg time, probably from july to october! i altered it a teeny bit and over time added a few things to personalize it more. here's a pic of how it looks as of the last time i used it!

as you can see it's basically a big grid organized by days and amount of time the task will require. there's some less organized stuff at the bottom and on top is my morning routine, a random motivational picture, a quote i like, and links to things i use daily like my google calendar.

this set up worked really well for me over the summer when i had absolutely no structure in my life, but once i was back in school and working two jobs, i found i don't need so much help prioritizing my tasks but rather a big space for me to see everything. and when i say everything, i mean literally everything.

around this time, i discovered notiontwt (notion twitter) and found sooo many beautiful spreads! they were so cute and inspired me a lot. this is one set up i attempted to use (i especially liked the weekly spread) and this is one that i made myself using a 'pack' of graphics as a kind of theme.

like i said the graphics (header and calendar) are from the artist i linked above. the fanart of harry styles is by this artist. also just something that i think is important and could be a helpful reminder is to always put sources/artists for any images or art you include at the bottom of your pages! even if you're the only one seeing the page!! also of course ask if the image is okay to use!

so i tried to use that spread for october and again... it was abandoned. i also was using it in conjunction with the priority page and an 'assignments masterlist' database i have but things were just not working. i think this is the point that i decided that i would just be creative, let things flow, and do what i wanted. i took pieces from set ups that i liked, made my own little pieces, and added them to a blank page that i titled 'my brain.' 'my brain' really helped to free up my mind. calling it that made me center the page on myself and only use things that i liked and that worked for me (& ignore all the aesthetic stuff i was seeing). i felt free to delete some things and add others even if i didn't know exactly how i wanted them to look or function. in addition, i even added a little section to that page where i wrote, "i want this to be a space of fluid exploration so i can move things around as i figure out what works best for me," as a reminder of what that page was meant to be. i also started bulking up my 'essentials page' which i'll go through another time, but it was important in creating this page and keeping it focused on my daily needs.

going into this 'project' there were a few elements i knew i liked from things i'd tried and things i'd seen. these were: images, a grid layout (from noodledesk's priority page), a full page, quotes, organization by weekday. so, the first thing i did was make these elements in my page. then i arranged them into a layout that i liked (loosely inspired by, again, noodle desk): list on the left, image on the right. this is what it looked like:

at the top, there is a callout that says "today" and it's meant to overview everything that should be in my head on that particular day or... every day. underneath there are three columns, one for tasks (check list), one for events and random thoughts (reminders) and one for general inspiration. the inspiration column has the callout with the goal of the page that i already discussed, a painting by my favorite artist, and a quote that i liked from a book i've read recently.

underneath all of that is more of a future look-ahead. i have a grid-style weekly planner and then a linked database that i use every day. i learned how to make this database from @blacklinguist​‘s post.and under all that i just have some other stuff.

so this is basically what i began working with! since, i've added sub sections to organzize my to-do list, a goal section, and a cute picture next to my weekly grid. i just added these as they came to me. for example, i wanted to do this one reading challenge but I always forget about goals because i put them deep into other pages and then forget about them. so i made a section on my main page for them!

also if it's important, the assignments masterlist is sorted by due date, but in the weekly grid i put the tasks under the day that they're due. so you can see my falling man reading is due on dec.1, but i need to actually do it before then so in the weekly grid it's under the monday heading (and tuesday but that's because i doubt i'll finish it monday). i also try to add the dates of the week to those headings so i don't get confused but usually i forget. i at least try to bold the current day. random note but that's one thing i had trouble with in a lot of the templates i was trying before. they usually only organized things by due or 'do' date, but my brain really requires both so i made sure to include that here. BUT i wasn't aware of that before. i honestly just put that into words and realized it now. that's why it's important to just add absolutely anything that you think might help you even a little bit. anywho, here it is in its current state:

and that's pretty much it! another time i can go over the other pages i use, but this is my version of what a lot of notion users call a dashboard and this is what I've put the most effort into making work for me. i hope this helps you in some way whether it's using this format exactly, taking some inspiration, or just realizing that notion is super flexible and can work for you (even if it's intimidating right now). also i'm so sorry if this is overwhelming but i think it's super satisfying lol. let me know if you have any questions or ideas and please message me about notion because i love talking about it.

#notion #notion set up #oc #studyblr #studyspo #studyblr community

[scripting-life]

FFVII: returning to my first love

 *peeks out of the corner of my lurking spot*

Hello? Anybody out there? It’s only been, oh you know, four-ish years since the last time I’ve posted anything here. I apologize in advance for anybody who’s still following me from my Castle days. If you couldn’t tell from my extended absence, I’ve mostly moved on. Castle and Beckett were fantastic characters that let me to play with some deep-dive analyses, and Castle will always hold a special place in my heart as my comfort show and my first real and extended experience with online fandom. I’ll always be grateful to the community I’ve had the joy of interacting with (or, the community with which I’ve had the joy of interacting, as Castle would correct me my dangling preposition).

I honestly didn’t think I would ever have reason to come back to Tumblr after Castle ended. But the FF7 Remake has returned me to my very first love--when I was young and innocent and before I knew anything about OTPs or ship wars. I’ve been back lurking for several months now and seeing all the fanart/fanfics and fun theories and analyses has reignited my enthusiasm for the FF7 franchise. It’s also fun coming back to this franchise with a more mature understanding of the themes/concepts that completely flew over my head as a young preteen.

(This ended up being super long, so the rest is below the cut to spare everyone the pain of scrolling. Apparently, my rambling tendencies have not changed at all. lol.)

When FF7R was officially announced (five freaking years ago!), I was filled with apprehension. FF7 was my first taste of a “grown-up” game. I was 11 and played my brother’s copy of the OG on PC in 1-2 hours spurts on the weekends when I visited his apartment. It took me months, if not years, to finish the game (I ended up stealing his copy to play on our computer at home...lol), and I was so blown away by it. I remember the exact moment I finished it and how I was literally shaking as I watched the ending FMV.

Later, when I found out my brother had a copy of FF8 (my poor brother was so accommodating to his annoying little sister...haha), I was so excited to play, in large part because I thought it would continue the story of FF7. Young, naive me didn’t understand the numbering conventions of Final Fantasy titles. I was madly theorizing and breaking my brain trying to find connections between the two games’ plots and had literally played through more than half the game before I finally realized the storyline of FF8 had absolutely nothing to do with FF7. I was sorely disappointed, and I think that has somewhat tainted my appreciation of future titles. Not to say I haven’t enjoyed the subsequent FF titles, but I think a little part of me is always comparing them to that first experience of wonder and awe that I had with FF7.

I discovered fanfiction in my teens and starting writing FF7/Cloti fics in college. Aside from interacting with a few fic writers at the time, I was not involved in any online communities, so I kept myself pretty free of any ship war drama and the like. When I did research for my fics, I’d sometimes see shipping sites and theories where I didn’t always understand the logic of how certain conclusions were reached, but frankly, I didn’t much care and didn’t realize that Clerith vs. Cloti was such a touchy subject. I was peripherally aware that some sort great LTD war was waging, of course, but it didn’t really touch me. I stayed in my Cloti shipping/fic-writing lane and was probably a lot happier for it. And, to be honest, based on FFN’s listings for FF7, I felt like I always saw a bunch of Sephiroth/Cloud fics and thought that was just as popular as the more conventional ships.

Graduating college and entering “real life” pretty much ended my FF7 fanfic-writing journey. In the intervening years between college and the release of FF7R, I haven’t gone back to the OG too much. I’ve played almost all the Final Fantasy games since then, and I always enjoy getting my FF7 crew fix when I play the non-canon mobile games or the Kingdom Hearts franchise. But FF7 was a happy part of my teenage years, and I was content to think on it with sweet nostalgia.

Remakes, in recent experience (*cough cough* Disney, why?), have been hit or miss, with a lot of misses. It’s hard to strike a good balance between catering to nostalgia and delivering a fresh product, never mind the change in social mores through the decades. I was so afraid FF7R would screw up my memories, especially since I wasn’t the biggest fan of Advent Children. The graphics were great and the action scenes were fun, but the story felt like a let-down. Cloud, in particular, felt so different (and yes, moody) from where we left him after the OG. I understand now that a lot of his character motivation was better explained in the On The Way to a Smile novels, but back then, I just felt like AC came out of nowhere. 

Btw, because I see this question a lot on other blogs when I’m lurking, I’ve ALWAYS thought that it was very clear in AC--even without reading anything else--that the reason for Cloud’s depression was due to guilt and not because he was pining for Aerith. The only reason I didn’t like his characterization in AC was because it felt like it came out of nowhere since AC is set 2 years after OG and by the end of the OG, he seemed to be in a pretty decent place mentally and emotionally. That being said, I can absolutely understand why some traumas resurface years after the originating incident and how times of peace might actually be worse because he is no longer solely focused on saving the world, but I was just surprised and a little bummed that this was the direction the devs chose to take AC at the time. Now that I’m older, I do better appreciate the complexities of Cloud’s mental state and the fact that they depicted a hero with lingering mental health issues is actually pretty awesome. I’m drawn to characters that have flaws--sometimes serious ones--but try their best anyway. Hence, why why Tifa Lockhart and Kate Beckett are some of my all-time favorites.

Anyhow, that didn’t stop me from pre-ordering FF7R, of course. I avoided reading any reviews as I didn’t want my first impressions to be swayed, and boy, was I happy that I went in mostly blind. That sense of awe really almost felt like playing the OG for the first time again, but somehow more. The combat system is incredibly fun and the world-building is nothing short of incredible. The variety and abundance of NPCs gives the game so much flavor and the locations have been rendered so well. As I’m going through areas like the Sector 7 train station and Wall Market and Aerith’s house, I can almost superimpose the layout from the OG in my head, but now it’s in 3D and so rich and full. It’s obvious that a lot of attention was paid to details, and I love all the head-nods and homages to the OG.

And oh, the characters!

This is the Cloud I’ve been wanting to see in glorious HD and the Cloud I remember from the original game: all awkward, dorky trying to be cool, socially inept, mentally unstable, abrasive-at-times, reluctant to act depending on who’s asking, wannabe hard-ass who’s actually a big softie inside Cloud. I remember reading an article a few years back about how the devs basically redid Cloud for the Remake because they wanted him to go back to his dorky roots--which ends up making him closest to his personality in the OG than his appearances in other franchises--and I was SOOOO incredibly happy to hear that. I was so sick of the way Cloud was constantly depicted as this cool, broody McBrood in his cameos when he was a pretty big dork in the OG. (Anybody remember him doing squats in the Highwind when Tifa says it’ll be lonely with just the two of them and Cloud responds that he’ll make enough noise to make up for it? Like I said: cute, but a dork.)

I WAS surprised by how comfortable and sweet and touchy (so very very touchy) the devs made him with Tifa from the beginning. That initial scene of Cloud being such a smooth operator giving Tifa the flower had my jaw-dropping and every single flirty interaction after that (and there are many) had my Cloti heart overflowing in shock and bliss. Throughout most of my years as a Cloti shipper, even though I believed Cloti was supported by canon and pretty clearly together, I was also under the impression--mistakenly or not--that Cloti was the minority ship. So for Square Enix to make it so blatantly obvious that Cloud is really into Tifa at such an early stage has been an unexpected gift.

Also, they’re just really hot together. (Clotiscrew tunnel--be still my heart!)

As for Tifa...oh, what wonderful character development we’ve already gotten for Tifa. Tifa has always been one of my all-time favorite characters ever since reading her character blurb in the OG game manual. Initially, as a child, it was because I saw so much of myself in her. She was outwardly bright and optimistic, but tended to hide all of her stronger feelings inside. She fought with her fists, and for someone who was a tomboy growing up who liked playing contact sports with the boys, I connected with her in a way that I had never been able to connect with other female protagonists who were primarily back-row specialists. (I also aspired to grow to her listed height of 5′4″, which alas, did not happen...lol).

I love how the Remake delves into more of Tifa’s moral conflict between the destruction that she causes as part of Avalanche and needing to do something to stop Shinra, and yes, even seeking revenge. They touched on this in the OG lightly, but the Remake really hammers it home. She’s perhaps the most conflicted character in terms of motivation in Part 1. That scene with the Shinra manager on the train is actually one of my favorite scenes of her because it highlights that tension. The elevator scene, if you opted for it instead of the stairs (or if you did one, saved, and reloaded to do the other one, like me), is also underrated in terms of how much it reveals about Tifa’s inner struggle.

On this point, I also appreciate that the Remake has the characters reflecting on the damage they’ve both indirectly and directly inflicted--the Avalanche team all do this to a certain degree. In particular, Jessie’s constant inability to figure out what she’d done wrong with the bomb to cause such a massive explosion and her remaining feelings of guilt during her death scene (”they were my victims” ouch!) were heart-breaking.

Aerith’s depiction was another pleasant surprise. I’ll be honest; I didn’t much like her in the OG. She was too pushy and willfully oblivious to the point of being mean at times. In the Remake, much of her sometimes too in-your-face playfulness was kept--perhaps still a little too much--but I appreciate the nuance that they gave her. The train graveyard scene tells the player that she didn’t have friends growing up, and I think that partially contributes to her lack of social tact at times. The other factor that gives her personality more nuance is the hint of special knowledge that affects how she interacts with the rest of the group. It gives her additional hidden motivation and adds to her mystery for new players while simultaneously pulling at the heartstrings for old players who get the impression that Aerith is somehow aware--to a certain, unknown extent--of her own fate. 

I also appreciate that Aerith is more grounded as a real person than as some sort of revered being. I do blame AC for some of that. When you have the power to cure a fatal disease from the afterlife and send the dead back to life, it gets into some godlike territory. Maybe it’s a fair depiction of her powers as a Cetra, but I just get the feeling that Aerith herself wouldn’t really appreciate being made into this goddess-like figure. Remember that her character blurb in the original game manual implied that she was more interested in earthly things (i.e. the love triangle) than in exploring her own powers. I personally think that Aerith used the “love triangle” in the OG as a form of escapism from the weight of her burdens rather than genuine interest, and I just think she’d want to be thought of as a person rather than as a god. One of my favorite scenes for Aerith is when she and Cloud are traversing the rooftops and she slips on the ladder, letting out a simple, “Shit.” It humanizes her in a way that combats some of the ways she’s sort of been deified in the last 23 years. Also, Aerith wielding a folding chair like it’s WWE never fails to make me laugh. Overall, she just comes off as a more reasonably flawed and--as a result, to me--a more likeable character in the Remake, and I do very much like her now.

Barret is pretty much the exact larger than life character I imagined in my head, only somehow even better, and I really love how expressive and emotional his eyes and facial expressions are. His scenes with Marlene are truly the cutest thing ever. Red XIII is a big, furry ball of sass, and I need so much more of him in the coming parts (Cosmo Canyon still wrecks me to this day). The interactions between the Wedge, Biggs, and Jessie are incredible, and they really feel like people who’ve been friends and basically each other’s family for years. The Turks and Rufus are pretty much as cool as I imagined them in the OG.

There’s still so much more I haven’t even started touching on about the Remake, and I think that’s why I’m finally posting this now. I just can’t contain my love for this game any more, and I really really need a place to express myself. I don’t know if anybody is still reading, but I appreciate having the opportunity to finally gush about this game and franchise that I’ve loved so much for pretty much two-thirds of my life.

#ff7r #final fantasy 7: remake #cloti #cloud x tifa #cloud strife #tifa lockhart #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 #ff7 #aerith gainsborough #jessie rasberry #barret wallace #red xiii #for the love of the game #personal experience #not sure i'm ready to wade back into fandom life #but i really needed to gush #oh man i forgot to mention the cats #how could i forget the cats?!?!?

[eye-of-enigmatic-thought]

2019, a retrospective to this year and decade

Long post in-comin’

I’m gonna be honest, I’m not really sure how to describe this year and by extension, this decade, I guess that’s to be expected in a way, so many things can happen in 365 or more days to the point of a information overload, but I suppose the best way to describe this year was ‘complicated yet also stale’. Not much happened in the beginning aside from therapy and support group appointments, which were pleasant albeit I don’t remember much from them aside from drawings I’ve done that I showed to the other members, nothing of significance happened that I can recall during the middle of the year, and around near the end I took part in art therapy groups that I managed to make a few friends out of (though I sadly don’t chat with them often), at September I was beginning to try and get into college after being out of education for a year and managed to enrol (though court issues made me miss the first five weeks that I had to quickly catch up to), most of my memories of this year actually came from college.

College has been going good, so far! I have been learning a lot and my tutors are very kind, of course it can get stressful due to the long days I have and also due to some of my more rowdier peers, but I’ve managed to also befriend a few others that I am very happy to have met. Currently I’m in my break and I will use it to advantage as much as I can to post as much art as I can.

Also, I’ve just recently been exploring my gender, and well, I’m now transmasc rather than a demigirl, I still go by whatever pronoun and still see myself as nonbinary, but I am more masculine leaning now? I guess I might be a ‘demiboy’ but I still feel a bit more ‘fluid’ than that, sooo... masculine leaning demifluid? I dunno, but overall I’m not a girl anymore! :D

Rebirth is still being rewritten, admittedly I haven’t been focusing entirely on it due to some things in the way, but some of that is now gone so really my only enemy is my lack of motivation and poor time management, but even times where I’m not writing and/or editing the rewrite I’m still thinking of how I want certain scenes to go or what things I want the characters to say, so it’s still being worked on! I do feel incredibly bad that I haven’t been doing a lot of my Undertale-related stuff lately or even attempting to at least finish off the HS’ blog’s first arc (I at LEAST wanna finish that arc before I go on a official hiatus to fully know what to do with it), but you can rest assured that I have NOT forgotten about it and I do want to continue on with it, I guess that’s probably one of my goals for 2020, ‘more Undertale fanart’, yes, good, very good, mwahahahaha.

And now, a little something more personal, mostly in regards to this decade as a whole. Warning for mentions and discussions of pedophilia, bullying, suicide, and trauma for the next three or so paragraphs.

(Warning starts here)

My memories from around the beginning of this decade are hazy, but very notable, I’m not going to sugarcoat it by saying that from 2010-2013 were some of my worst years of my life, I was only 11-14 around this time, but when I wasn’t going through awful bullying at school that the teachers did nothing about, I would come back home to a toxic friend circle on DeviantArt that was filled with constant irrelevant drama and some REALLY creepy adults that would do smut rps with the minors in our group. Thankfully I never was a victim of this due to mostly staying in my corner and didn’t interact with others much, but I saw it happen to many of the other minors in said group, it left me disturbed but I rationalised it by thinking it was just some ‘teenager thing’ that I was too young for (because I was a little cretin that lied about my age and said I was 13 when I was really 11 when I first signed up haha), it was only when I was late into being 17 I realised ‘Oh my god the people who I called my friends and RP’d with were pedophiles and groomed the other minors what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck’. 

This whole shitty ordeal with that dA friend circle and the constant bullying I went through in secondary school were so bad that it literally led me to have a suicide attempt at the age of 13, I survived of course, and I’m really glad I did, because I wouldn’t have met friends that through them I would manage to get away and abandon the old dA group because ‘fuck you guys I have BETTER FRIENDS NOW!’ Unfortunately all of that dA friend circle are now deactivated or are no longer active with all the evidence deleted so there’s no use making a callout or name dropping any of them or even searching for the other minors in attempt to rekindle with them (and I don’t think my heart would be able to handle it in that regard...), but I did find out that one of them who was a pedophile apologist at one point commissioned a ton of Darkrai pregnancy porn with one of it being fucking mpreg, so I can at least get a laugh from that shit, doubt she’s reading this but if you are... 

You may be gone, but your darkrai mpreg porn will live on FOREVER... Forever for ME to laugh at!!! >8DDD  So anyway get rekt and suck my non-existent dick you fucking creep.

(Warning ends here)

Phew alright, all that nasty stuff out of the way...   2014 was where things began to improve, I had moved secondary schools and I switched from a mainstream to a specialist school for other autistic children and I found the people who would become my closest friends, through one of them I also got a tumblr blog, and when Undertale came around (so late 2015 to around 2016 when the fandom was most active), through it’s fandom I managed to gain really kind and lovely friends that I love dearly, it’s somewhat strange to me, in the beginning since childhood I never had any close friends and the only ‘close’ ones I had were ones that either kept me around out of pity (because I was a awkward autistic kid), kept me around to constantly bully and push my buttons, or (in this case with the dA friend circle) were potential predators that I thankfully was never THAT close to, and actual close ones I lost contact with too quickly, to this day I’m so thankful for these friends and I dunno if they’d be comfortable with me namedropping them here, but if you’re reading this, you know who you are <333.

I of course had rough patches throughout the years, recovery from my traumas wasn’t easy and I was constantly having issues with pretty much everything from my mental health problems to environmental factors that were out of my control, I’m not going to go into detail on this one because this post is long enough already, but I am much better now than how I was when I was younger, I still have a long way to go, but I have definitely improved and I hope I can still improve, hell, I’ve even improved my art! Wanna see an example?

I drew this back in 2011 on mspaint on a mouse! Yeah! Can you believe that? Whilst to me my art right now isn’t exactly ‘artist goals’ I have definitely improved a lot since!! And I’ll keep on improving forever because that’s what this decade was like anyway! I’m not sure what the future holds, but I want to set these goals for next year:

Create more digital art Finish my unfinished short comic ideas and parodies Continue to chip away at Rebirth’s rewrite and finish Hissterical Scientist’s first arc. Work on my original stuff Continue to improve my mental health Get proper time management skills Learn to do commissions (I be gettin munz lol) Thank you to all my friends and family who have helped support me and stuck by me throughout all these years, I am so happy I get to spend a life with you and I hope we’ll continue to go through the future together, you mean so much to me and I can’t say thank you enough. Thank you to any followers who have sticked by me for so long and if you’re new, I hope we’ll make memories together! 

Onward and upward, and leave behind the pain! <3

#tara's text

[carlottastudios]

Why I’ve been gone so long

Don’t worry. I haven’t forgotten to post something this weekend. I just REALLY wasn’t feeling up to posting yesterday. To be honest, my motivation is a little low today too. Not sure why. But luckily, I have plenty of posts ready for posting in my stash on DA AND my drafts on Tumblr.

That’s right, I said “posts” as in plural. Because today, as well as tomorrow (which is a holiday, so I feel it counts as part of the weekend), I’m going to be posting 2 posts. Why? Firstly, because I just have a shit-ton of stuff that’s just ready and waiting to post. And secondly, because I’m hoping that I can “stock up” for weekends later in the school semester when I won’t have the time/energy to post at all.

For today, you get this journal and a sketch will I will be posting shortly.

Before I get to that, I have a little message to my followers here on Tumblr.

As @lord--zeppelin pointed out in his recent ask, I haven’t been very active here post-wise. To be specific, I haven’t been active reblog-wise. And I want to explain why.

The reason I haven’t been reblogging anything until now is because I have finally come up with a fully-fledged tag system for my posts. I was inspired to do this by @stormageddon-101, whose tag system I honestly think is better than mine in several respects, but my own system isn’t so bad either.

I’m sure you can guess why me having a new tag system means I haven’t been reblogging anything lately, but I’ll say it anyway: I’ve been going through all of the posts I’ve made up until now, editing them to add in my new tags and replace some old ones as well as deleting a majority of my old posts. If I kept reblogging stuff during this whole process, I’d be constantly delaying the completion of this work, which was honestly grueling enough as it was, so instead I’ve been saving everything I want to reblog in my drafts so that I can reblog them once the tag system has been fully set in. This has admittedly led to the problem of my now having over 100 drafts to reblog, but I’ll get through them in time. I’ve had this problem before and I know I’ll get through it.

Now yes, you’ve read that correctly. I’ve been replacing some of my old tags and deleting a majority of my old posts. Why is that, you may ask? Well, that’s mostly because of the nature of my tagging system. It’s…I guess you can say that it’s a very thorough tagging system. Not complex, but thorough. Not only do I have tags to mark my original posts and my reblogs, plus individual tags for my fanfiction, my fanart, my videos and my asks, but I also have tags for the subject of every post. Including tags for the fandom that post is about (as well as an “other” tag for stuff that doesn’t relate to any of my fandoms or to personal matters for me) and tags for characters and ships that I’m willing to tag (meaning I don’t, as a rule, tag ships I don’t ship, sorry if that disappoints you, but this is MY tagging system). So, for every time I tagged “storm hawks” or “keith” or “blacksun” or whatever fandom/character/ship needed to be tagged in a post, I had to go and delete those tags to replace with my own unique ones for them. Yes, this means that my original posts won’t show up if you search for the common tags (EXAMPLE: if you look in the “pirow” tag, you won’t find any of my original posts for pirow”), but that honestly doesn’t bother me. My goal on this site isn’t to be popular anyway.

That already sounds pretty tough, doesn’t it? Well, it gets worse. Because I had to do that whole process of retagging for ALL of my posts. And did you know how many posts I originally had when I first started the retagging process?

Do you wanna guess? No?

Over 3000.

That’s right. I had over 3 THOUSAND posts to retag. So, can you blame me when I decided to take a short cut and instead delete a lot of my old posts? I didn’t have to bother retagging those old posts, thus saving myself a lot of time and work and helping me be able to finish this whole retagging process when I did (I finished last night at around 10 PM, in case you’re curious, after 2-3 weeks of retagging).

And now, here I am with about a third of my old posts gone, but my new tagging system installed. Now, hopefully, it’ll be easier for you guys to search for stuff you’re looking for in my content or block posts of mine that you don’t want to see. I was originally going to give you guys a run-down of my new tag system in this very post, but this has already gotten to be over two pages long in Word (where I’m typing this), so I don’t want to strain your eyes too much.

Also, to everyone I have reblogged posts from in the past, specifically those whose posts don’t have high note counts: please know that I am truly and deeply sorry for deleting my reblogs of your posts and, thus, diminishing your note counts, even if only by 1 note. But also know that this doesn’t mean I can’t reblog your posts again. True, I can’t do that immediately. All of my reblogging has been the result of YEARS of being on this site, and doubtless it will take me years to get back up to 3000+ posts. But I know myself well enough to know that I will OF COURSE go looking on this site for content of my fandoms, which may definitely include your content, which I will be very happy to reblog again (unless you have, by my standards, a high note count, in which case, generally, you’re good as far as I’m concerned).

But before I get to searching all of Tumblr for new stuff to reblog, I’ve got 100+ drafts to address. And people I follow who I know are posting stuff here and now that I also want to address. Even so, I can safely say that, with my retagging process behind me, I’m back to reblogging and so, hopefully, I’ll be more active post-wise on this site again.

#Behold My Beautiful Little Brain Child (my original post) #Oh Look It Me (personal) #apparently it's not just lord--zeppelin who noticed my absence #my dear friend cloud (hi cloud!) also told me my absence has been noticeable #and hearing that-honestly-made me think 'oh...yikes...I guess I have been gone a while' #well not GONE per say but not active in the same way I used to be #but now that's over and done with #now the only way I'll be inactive is when school shenaniganery happens #so #I'M BACK BABY

[belzinone]

[old] guidelines

// these are my original rules. though they are still generally relevant, my newer, shorter, more concise rules post is here

A love letter from me to you! Please take it to heart.

The Lowdown: mod is an artist & supportive af｜selective｜primarily plot-motivated｜operates on mutual respect｜your friendly rpc fairy godbitch; gimme your wishlists｜zero tolerance for OC negativity & bigotry｜triggers present｜18+ content present｜consistent but occasionally capricious activity｜OOC communication appreciated｜lots of love abound ♡

Mod Sal (they/them/theirs; 24; PST)

     I study medicine and social justice with emphasis on emergency medicine and sex work, respectively. In addition to being a writer I’m also an activist, artist, and scholar. I’ve been writing Bel since 2015. She’s a very intricate and highly dynamic character who has gone through many changes over the years via her interactions. I look forward to developing her even more with your muse(s)!

     Before I talk about the kind of conduct I’d like on my blog, this is the type of roleplayer and friend I aspire to be. I’ll strive to be as attentive and supportive as I can about your muse, ideas, as well as ooc presence. If we’re mutuals, you can expect plenty of inboxes, tag games, headcanons, relationship tags, to be tagged in & sent posts relating to our muses, general interaction, and emotional support proportional to the depth of our interactions when I’m online. I’m an unapologetic 1-person hype squad at heart and will do my best to spread the love and return the love I get.

     If I’m not around here, you can find me on my snk blog and/or discord by request. I muse Eren and Levi as secondary muses, but they won’t be nearly as active as Bel and are only available to established mutuals. I also have untagged resource & nsfw musing side blogs.

Interactions

  When it comes to interactions, nothing motivates me more than an eagerness to develop our muses’ relationship. Depending on what works best for you, we can work on this via inbox submissions, plotting, or simply interacting. I have a tendency to write para/novella-length replies, but will strive to match you in length and style. Please include something I can actively respond to in your reply, because neutral replies can be very difficult to build upon, and please do not godmod her based on assumptions and/or stereotypes about her character/profession.

  With regards to ask responses, please feel free to turn them into threads by tagging me in a new post and cutting your replies. I’ll turn asks into threads if they inspire me, but you’re under no obligation to continue them if you’re not as motivated. When cutting, please don’t cut me out. Also, please don’t reblog asks with your reply or reblog replies with my tag if I don’t reply quickly enough. I track of all my threads to the best of my ability, so please check there first if you want to know the status of our thread. If I’ve missed a thread of ours, please help me out by sending it to me in a message so I can add it to the tracker. If you lose muse for a thread, please don’t feel pressured to continue it. We can always take a break or start something new. I don’t cap my threads and am always open to new interactions.

Selectivity

    Though I run a selective blog, I am not very selective in nature. I do have a preference for original and SnK/AoT characters, especially those that inspire me and challenge me. I’ll primarily look for interactions by checking blog rules for oc-friendliness, reblogging promos, asking to be mutuals in the tags, then follow back after that initial follow is granted. If you don’t want me to follow you, please block me completely because otherwise I’ll think it’s a mistake/glitch and follow you again. On the topic of glitches, they do happen so I apologize ahead of time if that happens above or below my radar.

    I don’t tolerate oc-negativity or ooc bigotry and will handle my blog accordingly. If you align yourself in any way with TERF, SWERF, homophobic, ace-exclusionary, racist, and/or xenophobic rhetoric, please do not interact. It’s important for me to surround myself with enriching content and community. I have boundaries and will be setting them for my own comfort as well as respect yours because mutual respect between muns is key to a healthy rpc.

Sourcing

    Please don’t do it. This goes for starters, ask memes, wishlist posts, and wanted connections. I understand we might not be the muse/mod duo you have in mind and that we don’t fit every situation, but please don’t fill my notifications with this sentiment, especially if we don’t have any established interactions yet. If our blogs have that much in common, there’s so much we could be musing about. If this happens excessively without us having any interactions, I’ll unfollow and/or block because I am a roleplay blog, not a resource hub. If you’re interested in my musing/resource posts, please show interest in muse interactions as well. The latter is why I’m here and there’s nothing more disheartening and discouraging to my creativity than being used and/or ignored when I present things.

Original Character Disclaimer

    It pains me that something like this needs to be said, but Bel wasn’t created to force ship with your muse and/or overpower our threads. I will absolutely under no circumstances tolerate any form of OC negativity. I don’t care if you think they’re “cringey”, “underdeveloped”, “overpowered”, or any other iteration of not meeting your personal criteria of a good character. Opinions are valid but unsolicited bullying is not. It is important to realize that canon characters are still original characters bar their capitalistic franchise. The mods of original characters are a goldmine of free and original content and deserve to be judged by conduct, not content.

    If you’d like to support OCs, I invite you to scroll through and reblog a thing or two from my OC positivity tag, as well as follow and engage in meaningful interactions with the OCs in your orbit. Your encouragement could be what makes a content creator’s breakthrough, so please be kind and supportive. Saying you’re OC-friendly while providing an extensive grocery list of double standards OCs must abide by to be considered acceptable isn’t OC-friendliness. Likewise, musing an OC doesn’t automatically make you incapable of being exclusive (unintentional or not) so please be cognizant as well  and lets support each other.

Shipping

    That being said, I’m just like every other mun. I enjoy shipping and the occasional smut scene given the chemistry is right and both muns are equally invested in the relationship as well as comfortable with it. The more we develop our muses, the more complicated their relationship will be and the more likely I’ll personally gift you with fanart. Above all, your comfort is paramount to our interactions so please communicate with me. Likewise, please respect my comforts when I speak of them. I am much more likely to be enthusiastic about shipping than Bel is, however, so please be patient with us and respect her boundaries as well.

# FREE THE FPN . SFW // ONLY IT’S NOT

    This is the tag I will use to mark sexually explicit content. Bel is somewhere on the ace spectrum, but is nonetheless a sensual character and has a couple verses that engage in sex work. Bel’s struggles with her identities are a very big part of her personal characterization, so please be patient with her. [Marilyn Monroe’s hinted asexuality] Likewise, if she’s not into your muse, please don’t push such interactions unless we discuss them as a plot element.

Trigger Warnings

    The SnK universe is rampant with violence, gore, psychological trauma, profanity, and grey morality. Furthermore, I enjoy writing dark themes and will provide the disclaimer now that this may be a rather trigger-heavy blog. However, that doesn’t mean you have to be subject to all these themes. If you’d like me to tag things in a certain way, please don’t hesitate to let me know because your comfort is important to me. I’ll gladly create a new tag for you to blacklist/filter and add it to my tag list. Furthermore, this blog will have the occasional explicit content so please don’t interact if you’re under 21.

Activity

   I’m finishing up my bachelor’s so classes and coursework will keep me from here sometimes. Furthermore, I struggle with mental illness and domestic abuse in my home environment, so bouts of these may also pull me from activity. I’ll be doing my damndest to keep my issues off the dash but if things are especially severe and I feel the need to post about it and/or reach out, I’ll use a semicolon tag (#;).  Nonetheless, musing, roleplaying, and plotting helps keep my spirits up so please keep me updated with your muse and share your discord with me, if you’d like. I’d love it so much if we could continue developing our muses as I slip off of and find my way back to tumblr, and I’d appreciate you very much as a writing partner and friend. ♡

Accessibility

    I’m not very savvy with code, but I do try my best to keep my blogging accessible as I tinker and learn. If you struggle with accessing any part of my blog, let it be font size, style, or anything else, please let me know and I’ll do my best to accommodate because I don’t want to perpetuate elitism or ableism in the rpc. As far as reply formatting goes, I’ll usually stick to once small text (particularly in novella length replies via ctrl shift -) and spare use of italics, bolding, and strikethrough text. I may use unicode and/or zalgo for art captions, personal musing posts, crack threads, and other posts that call for it. Every once in awhile, I will blog from mobile and as a result post text in default size, but I’ll still cut my posts and at worst, separate our replies with a symbol or icon if I can’t blockquote text through html.

Permissions

     One of my favorite things about roleplaying is sharing content and playing tag games. If you come across anything that reminds you of Bel and/or our interactions/plotting, please show me! Even more so, if you’re a content creator, you have complete and total freedom to use her and her inspirations in your work. I only ask to see it! Likewise, if I ever create any art for you, please acknowledge it at the very least. If you send in an art request and I deliver, please reblog it. Failure to do this kills my creativity as well as generosity so... please.

   Exclusive to this blog are my own art and edits as well as those gifted by friends. Please don’t ransack our labors of love and re-purpose them as your own. Bel’s Iva & Marie icons were collected by yours truly with a beautiful frame made by Shane. Other people who have contributed their talents throughout the years include madcapraccoon, L, desertbl00m, Eris, Justice, sangre-rebelde, emptyolivejar, desimouse, and the many rp blogs that have interacted with her. I’d also like to give a special shout-out to sjokohama for the boundless enthusiasm given to her development as well as the readers who have enjoyed and left amazing comments on her original fanfiction. She wouldn’t be out here if it weren’t for Y’all ~ ♡

If you feel like something should be added to or clarified in these guidelines, please let me know. I realize I have a lot to say as a consequence of being here for so long, but I still want to keep my conduct as transparent and accessible as possible. 

Thank you for reading! Please feel free to like this post and interact ~ ♡

[rhapsody-crossing]

S2: IYHO Tournament - A Reflection [Part 2]

(Continuation from THIS post) (See all series posts HERE)

5) Some Tournament Facts

There are a total of 11 teams and 50 squids who signed up for the tournament:

The tournament runs in a Double Elimination format, allowing everyone at least one chance to continue battle after a loss. Using Challonge, the brackets below were created:

6) Dawn of the Battle

What makes one join a competition?

I joined competitions with a faint hope of winning, but winning was never the main goal. Honing my skills and just giving it an attempt was usually were my priority.

However, my reason to join Ink Your Heart Out is different. I was prepared to win, and I really want to win because, despite all the paranoia, I have great faith in my team and skills that we can do it, and that it is still “within reason” to win. That, perhaps, was why I pushed my teammates to practise.

On that fateful day of the battle when the brackets are released, louhai drew a poster of our upcoming battle versus Team 7:

It garnered some laughs and merriment, and also inspired Team 7′s artist to draw a picture in return:

Furi also made her own, to symbolise how hard we train as well as a jab’s to louhai’s tofu drawing:

The fanarts and louhai’s merrymaking made the community lively for the day.

The exchange of words with BK (a fellow OC and also Team 7 member) reminded me that, sometimes, team competitions doesn’t have to be all about winning and rivalry, but it’s also about bonds one forged and gaining something out of an experience.

Team 7 was filled with members who were strangers in the beginning but the tournament made them into a tight-knitted group of friends. The exchange of goodwills resulted in two teams deciding that, win or lose, we would take a group photo to symbolise our sportsmanship and friendship post-battle.

Facing this, I really hope that all contestants would gain something positive out of it...

6) To Battle!

Pre-battle moments are always scary. It is said that one of the teams had two members got sick from the pent-up tension (one vomited, one had stomachache).

Nevertheless, Team Tofu was ready. Furi rushed dinner, slap went to McDonald for better internet coverage, louhai tried turning on Do Not Disturb function (but failed), Low moved his monitor closer to the modem, I lit a josstick in a prayer room.

Hell yeah, we’re ready.

vs Team 7 (BK, Mazur, BlackKri, Ray, [ ])

BK and I are from the OC. We have played on the same side as companions, and have also fought on opposites as friendly enemies. As such, I knew that he is not easy to be trifled with.

His other teammates, though? I wasn’t too familiar.

Though I have faced Mazur in training, I knew his name for a while as he’s been a rant topic of a friend, so I knew he’s at least not new. He’s a cheeky player, alright, smacking people with his trusty roller.

I have played with BlackKri in a Malaysia Splatoon Gathering few months ago, but wasn’t sure of his current ability. Ray, on the other hand, was a mystery until our match (a solid Brella user!). [ ] is a substitute player who was still exploring the game.

The match begun with a face-off between me, Low, Furi and slap vs BK, Mazur, BlackKri and Ray.

There wasn’t much concern. I left the killing to the others as I turfed the ground. Port Mackerel was a familiar ground, being one of maps in the initial release. We took control of the majority of the map quickly, though they managed to wipe us all out once. The paths are so narrow that my Tenta Missiles hit their mark often, even getting 2 kills in the end. I did really well in this one!

(Note: To explain the stats below, the percentage is how much control each team have on the ground. The three figures beside the player’s name are kill counts, death count, and ability usage count.)

Second match in Manta Maria was close. Low disconnected halfway through the match, but the three of us managed to secure a close win.

We took a group photo post-battle.

Slap complained about the necessity of taking screenshots. It was later revealed that he had forgotten to bring his Switch and phone charger to McDonald. This caused a mild freak out among our group, heck, I was tapping so furiously on my phone that I accidentally tapped yes to a phone system update. My Splatoon 2 runs on phone hotspot. I was out of commission.

When Furi joined the tournament, I expected louhai, Low or even slap to be subbed due to connection issues. It was an irony when -I- had to be subbed instead. To this day, the thought amuses me so.

vs EPDS (Eddy, BE0314, PG, YukiSaki)

While I didn’t get to participate the battle, I wasn’t too worried about this round; EPDS is a team from Johor that comprises mostly of newbies.

As such, the following statistics are pretty self-explanatory:

Low mentioned it was a massacre, but it gave slap some time to shine.

Nevertheless, the members (particularly Eddy) did show some promise, except their goals and motivation weren’t aligned. I can only hope they would learn from this tournament and fight on.

vs GuGu Clan (APLeu, Pochi, Eddeh, Ki-ra, flurk, Rix)

APLeu is yet another member of the OC, and any apples from the OC are pretty strong. Pochi is an ACNL friend whom I’d witnessed her growth in Splatoon 2. Eddeh I’m unfamiliar with, but it is said that Ki-Ra is apparently new and also the main reason why GuGu participated the tournament.

(This was also the group that had two members sick from tourney stress).

My phone had not finished its update, so the others have their fun on the first match.

Come second match, I was up again. APLeu mentioned that their team morale was pretty down, so I decided to chill turf instead of doing my best. Had a bit of fun shooting at APLeu and falling off the ledge. :x

vs littleSOTONGS (sotongSTAR, jp_BoomSS, siang, Onnzai, LIMXINZHE)

Initially, we predicted that we would be facing Avengers in the semi-finals.

So, when littleSOTONGS beat Avengers, puzzlement filled us. Was it due to the lack of turf coverage in Avengers’ part? Or was littleSOTONGS just that tough? We could only find out in battle.

A quick match was enough to find out that the real threats are sotongSTAR and jp_BoomSS. Remove these pillars, and the team crumbles.

The perks of main-ing a weapon is that you knew the limits of said weapon and the potential strategy that comes with it; facing them felt like facing myself, for one uses my main weapon Tri-slosher and the other my old main Splat Roller.

I had a lot of fun on the first match as I crippled jp_BoomSS’ curling bombs sneak attack and danced around his rolls.

Match 2 was a bigger challenge as Kelp Dome is a wider map. There were some power struggle in the beginning, but it all ended in our favour. Incidentally, I was able to harass them with Tenta Missiles a LOT. The match was ours.

After this match, we had some time to rest as loser brackets had yet to sort out its winner. We waited.

(TBC)

#splatoon 2 #iyho series

[mariamuses]

Tumblr Friends

Chapter 2 ~ Usernames

My next few days could only be described with one word: spree reading.

Wait. That’s two words. Or is it hyphened? Whatever, you get what I’m trying to say.

I breathed and ate books. And pizza. And chocolate.

My days consisted on getting up, goin to my classes, coming back, eating and reading. I read everywhere. On the couch, on my bed, on the toilet, on the bathtub... My sisters put up with it because they knew what I was going through, and because they were too busy with their respective boyfriends to say anything.

You might be asking yourselves: why doesn’t she study?

Well, I’ll tell you. The day I caught Tamlin smooching Ianthe was actually the first day back from summer, so that meant that the professors hadn’t had enough time to dream about us and the way they wanted to torture us with projects and exams.

Another question that may be popping up in your head is: What is she reading?

Well, I’ll tell you. Only the best freaking sagas from the best freaking author in the world: Brandon Sanderson. I’ve already read the Mistborn Trilogy, but it is like my comfort food in books, so I reread it. And then I started The Way of Kings, the first installment of the Stormlight Archive saga, and then the second and third one, which just came out. Those will be Words of Radiance and Oathbringer.

I saw them a while ago in the book shop and just had to buy them, but Tamlin always said that reading was boring, so I never started them. 

And now I’m starting them just to spite him. Even though he won’t see me. Or talk to me. Crap, I really didn’t think this through.

That’s actually not the only reason. As one of my other favorite author says:  “It was books that made me feel that perhaps I was not completely alone. They could be honest with me, and I with them.”

And I desperately needed not to feel alone right now. So, I binge-read all of them (they’re like a thousand pages each) and when I was finished, I swear I could breathe a little better and life felt a little brighter.

As I read the last page of Oathbringer and closed the book, all I could think about was that it couldn’t be over.

It’s not over yet silly. There’s going to be seven more books.

You get me, it can’t be over right now. I know the story continues, but I NEED more NOW.

Go to the internet.

I should, shouldn’t I? I’ve heard about something called...Tumble? Timblr?

Tumblr.

Oh, yeah right. My best friend, Mor, who’s into super weird stuff, like History-wise weird stuff, told me about it, and also said that there’s this thing called fanfiction, where people who read a book keep writing (non-cannon, but still) about it. She says that, sometimes, the fic is actually better than the book coming after it, and that the authors put in tons of work so their followers can get a weekly update, and maybe even more. Currently, she’s reading a fic about Aristotle and his secret lover Hades, god of the Underworld. Like I said, weird.

I opened my laptop and turned it on, getting on my browser and searching ‘Tumblr’. Then I clicked on ‘get started’ and typed my email and password in. The username was the tricky part, because so many of the were already taken. At last, I decided to go with fey-oathbringer, thinking that if I wanted to meet people of my same fandom, my user had to be somewhat related.

Then I got down to bussiness.

To defeat, the huns.

Ups, there we go with the puns.

No, the huns.

No, seriously. I typed ‘stormlight archive’ in and... search!

After hours looking through and reading everything I could find about Brandon Sanderson on Tumblr, I had two conclusions. The first one was that people really put a lot of time and effort into the fics. The second was less of a conclussion and more a person, more especifically, stormblessed-radiant. 

He was the epitome of all things good. Not only was he a hell of a writer, he was also a very nice person. I think so, at least. I mean, you can totally tell by his answered asks, no? 

He could be faking it... He could be a she.

No! He’s good. And a boy. And adorable. And possibly very cute... 

Okay, this got out of hand. Focus Feyre.

So I decided to follow him (definitely a him) and turned on the notifications so every time he posted something, I could be up to speed.

Now I just had to wait.

On Saturday, I woke up, had breakfast and pulled out my phone, only to see that stormblessed-radiant had uploaded a chapter of his latest fic, Alethkar Remembers. 

Inmediately I propped up my computer and started reading it. I loved everything about it: the way he wrote the characters and their development, how he wasn’t afraid of putting some romance into it, how loyal it was to the books... It was so fine that it inspired me.

So, when I finished, I decided I had to draw some fanart of the main characters, maybe even throwing in one of the few he made up, just to see if I could do it.

Motivated, I got to work.

Ten hours later, I had my “finished” product.

There were three pieces of art, depicting Kaladin (with Syl on his shoulder), Adolin and Shallan and finally, Aadya (stormblessed-radiant’s incredible creation).

They were only linearts, because I knew myself enough to be certain that if I started coloring it, I would never finish.

With the last of the retouches done, I uploaded the pictures with a little text that said that I was new to the fandom and that Aadya was a non-cannon character taken from stormblessed-radiant’s fics. I also added a few tags and... there.

Now all I could think about the reaction the art was going to have. 

I stayed glued to the screen of my computer until everything went black.

***

Here’s the next chapter!! I hope you all are enyoying it and ready for more.

Also, thank you so much for reading. I'll try to upload, at least, once a week. Scout's promise.

Read it on AO3

I’m tagging these lovely people @songbirdsbooks  @kaliejane26 @personpersonper @turtlesnook @highladyfxyre who are willing to read my rants.

#my work #my fic #feyre #mor #tumblr #rhysand #azriel #cassian #nesta #elain #brandon sanderson

[yujachachacha]

About the subbing. Please go ahead and take your time, I'm sure a lot of us are genuinely happy you're doing this for us fans and for free as well :)

Thanks - I appreciate the kind words! Though, AFAIK all fansubbers work for free - even groups that ask for donations are usually using the funds for basic needs like server costs rather than profit. I’m just doing my part to help~

Like what @kuuxkat said in his reply to my earlier post (which in hindsight I’m feeling slightly guilty about for sounding a bit too salty), translators are just regular ol’ fans. We just happen to love the series so much that we made the decision to learn a skill (or two, or three…) and invest time into making more content accessible for the fandom. It’s precisely because we’re fans who are motivated by passion rather than money that we do our best on these projects.

[Uhhh…I accidentally ended up hijacking your ask to ramble about the TL/fansub process, so I’m putting the rest under a cut.]

I’m especially in awe of how much effort is put into some of these translation projects. I’ve seen absolutely stunning subtitles and beautiful typesets done by some content creators out there (including within Team ONIBE - I particularly admire Eter’s hard work on the ONIBE call guides and Yunii’s amazing Aegisub effects). But in the end, whether they’re dazzling subs done by a veteran or a simple text translation done by a first-timer, I’m grateful to anyone out there who decides to help out.

Going back to the previous paragraph, translators do understand what it’s like to despair over the lack of translations. We get why someone asks us to sub something - you just love the series so much that you’re hungry for more content. Trust me, I feel the same way. The difference is that fan translators just get so impatient about it that they decide to do the TLs themselves, haha.

Honestly, it reminds me a lot of how fanart and fanfics work. Some fan has an innate talent (artistic skill, eloquence with words; in the case of a TLer, knowledge of a second language) or some free time on their hands to learn a new skill (it’s not hard to learn the basics of Aegisub; if I was doing just plain text subs then I’d probably finish within a day or two lol), and notices a lack of content. They love the series so much that they decide to do away with this injustice by making something on their own.

With this, you might start to understand why some TLers don’t like getting pestered about doing translations. Apart from the annoyance of having the same question being asked of them over and over again, some may point out, “If you want the TLs so badly, be like me and put in the effort to do them yourself. Don’t ask me this question unless you know what that’s like.”

It’s not like requesting someone for subs is a completely forbidden topic. Sometimes, TLers don’t know what’s been translated or not, so they’ll ask people to let them know what they want to see subbed next. I’ve received plenty of polite queries from people, and I’m always happy to answer them. I was only that ticked off earlier because I specifically said not to ask me about subbing the full niconama. I didn’t make that request because I don’t have any plans to - I said that because I might actually consider it, and I want to be able to make the decision on my own.

Think back to LLS S1E4, when Hanamaru expressed doubt about whether someone like her could be a school idol. Chika tells her:

It’s not whether you can or can’t. It’s whether you want to or not!

What Chika says is, in essence, the battle cry of all content creators. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Aside from when you literally can’t dedicate the time to do something due to school/work/etc., the “can/can’t” part is the easier barrier to overcome. I don’t ask myself, “Can I figure out how to make Arisha’s words bounce cutely to reflect how adorable her Korean is? Can I translate this JP slang term?” Instead, I ask, “How much effort do I want to put into this video? Do I want to spend extra time figuring this out?”

Another example is the Yousoroad at the Seoul fan meeting. IIRC the Korean organizer once mentioned that the big question wasn’t, “Can we do this? Is this even possible?” The more important thought was, “I’ve dreamed about this since ‘Snow halation’. I want to try.” Above all, wanting to do something is the #1 motivating factor behind fan projects, and that’s a very personal decision.

That’s why there’s a very real danger of burnout in fansubbing. It’s extremely rare to see an independent fansubber consistently upload videos over a long period of time (KuuRin has my deep and undying respect for being one of the exceptions in this fandom). They start out pouring all of their passion into a project, and then find that it’s incredibly difficult to keep up the same levels of energy as time goes on.

TLers know themselves best, so let them work at their own pace. They’re already stressed out enough as it is - they don’t need the added pressure of people asking them when they’re going to finish a project. I know that 99% of the time, the “subs when?” question isn’t a serious one (for example, a fellow Team ONIBE member and I jokingly asked each other “full subs where?” on Twitter earlier), but aside from it being used as a meme/joke, it’s not a question that TLers like seeing. If you do feel the need to seriously ask it, please be try to be mindful and courteous to the person you’re asking.

tl;dr: If someone specifically tells you not to bother them about TL requests, don’t. Respect their autonomy and let them decide for themselves if they have the time and motivation for it. Otherwise, it’s usually fine if you ask, but at least try to be nice about it because it’s a heavier question than you think it is.

#yujachask #littleying knb #my ramblings #oh man i didn't notice kuu's addition until earlier today #aaah he put it so well while i was just like... #'lololol imma just give a sarcastic response' #thanks for your words of wisdom chika (it's actually pretty good life advice) #and as for why i suddenly quoted chika here #hmmm i wonder why i'd be looking for important moments from S1... #is there some kind of untranslated video out related to this...? :3c