#or am i just thinking too hard

[tinartss]

something something two guys walk into a garden

#don't perceive this too hard LOL i am just doodling while thinking abt them (specifically haitham’s teaser) #but!! stumbled upon this rlly beautifully written thread that perfectly articulates this particular flavor of them omg #https://twitter.com/lanwanggia/status/1741372268888867308 #do links hyperlink in the tags #idk i guess we will find out #haikaveh #kavetham #genshin impact

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[parisoonic]

i am not immune to a meme

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 fanart #im not tagging everyone #ive got 150+ on medic too but vax is hard man and im a staunch stock defender #i like to go to the gym run a 5km then lift and then play stock medic for an hour with a glass of wine #if anyone is wondering my loadout on heavy is just the standard: tomislav GRU n' sandwich #for pyro its degreaser detonator and third degree #im a manmelter and third degree boy COME AT ME i think they're the SECRET META #the dopamine i get from very situational plays outweighs their drawbacks #sorry cant be arsed to draw medic properly in the bottom left #also yes: i am a redhead

[booksandothersecrets]

Thinking about this for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and

#i wish i could tell you that i wasn’t legitimately crying just from rereading that quite #quote* #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #harrowhark nonagesimus #gideon nav #tamsyn muir #the locked tomb #tlt #griddlehark #do NOT even get me started on the follwing part #if i think too hard about you are my only friend i am undone without you i will pass out #tw killing #tw death

[panthermouthh]

And I said, “Hello, Satan

I believe it’s time to go.”

#my art #southern gothic #been too depressed to create anything but I’ve made this today #the little rhyme has been in my head for a few weeks #spilled ink #I guess do people still use that tag for poetry or am I old lol #I’ve been writing in my journal pretty much daily and sometimes spitting out little poems like this #not much energy for art #so I’m not gonna pressure myself to keep it up #I’m just gonna enjoy the fact that I made this #I hope ur all well <33 #the devil #by the way this isn’t meant to be fan art of Robert Johnson #but it’s inspired by him and the stories of musicians who sell their souls to the devil #I am still thinking very hard and have mostly drafted a cornstalk fiddle comic #god knows how long it’ll stay in a notebook haha #my comic #comics

[wolvesandvisions]

to anyone who draws and experiences wrist pain like I do i. I figured out the blindspot to solving the pain. maybe this is obvious but whatever. im honestly I'm frustrated at myself for not knowing sooner bcs I was an athlete for so long. but what always confused and frustrated me was that no matter how much i stretched the pain wasnt going away

people always linked n shared resources to stretches and it'd give me temporary relief but not deal with the issue especially not any longer than the time it took me to stretch.

u do have to stretch. but u ALSO HAVE TO WORK OUT YOUR ARMS.

the reason we are hurting so much is because that muscle is doing a lot of repetitive and strenuous motion but the whole length of your arms and wrists aren't strong enough to withstand that much work.

u cant just stretch. buy a set of light-ish weights and just pick a set of wrist and arm workouts u like. do them often. stretch and do those work outs. i really dont even think it matters which you do I do a combination of this and this

just pick ones u like that are good for you, working out can be fun and not miserable i promise. do it. save ur wrists. my life has changed, i still feel pain but ive been able to work and not be ready to cry the next day from daring to try

#wolf txt. #rsi #rsi injuries #if anyone else has tips or favorite workouts share them #like i mentioned i was already an athlete so i am also reverting to some old warm ups i did to help with my back pain too #i played softball #n my thing always was that my arms were weak but my legs did a lot of work #i think i convinced myself that bcs my body wasnt withstanding muscle needed to hit a ball far #trying to push myself to work on my arms too hard was going to create more problems #THE OPPOSITE!! #I JUST NEEDED TO PACE MYSELF N TAKE IT SLOW!! #AAA

[forgettable-au]

What do we think? I think he's like the coolest scientist to ever science

HEY HAPPY 2000 FOLLOWERS‼️HOW DID THAT HAPPEN SO QUICK?????

I'm genuinely so shocked about that I'm so so glad you're all enjoying this AU so far hehehe:D

Also I just made the 1000 followers celebration post like a month ago or something??wow

Here's the guy ‼️‼️ I wanted to practice drawing him quickly and in different poses. I think I achieved that, all this was made with just the lasso fill tool it was soooo fun and I loved not being worried about details just SHAPE

ALL SHAPE (and colors)

#I AM SO GLAD I HAD THIS DRAWING SAVED ON MY PHONE ALREADY #I wanted to make a proper 2000 followers celebration drawing but got to 2000 too fast and didn't get the chance #so I'm just using this one drawing because I think it looks cool #he's so fun to draw #sometimes #sometimes he's so so hard to draw #especially from behind ahskajsskjs #man I thought about his design so much while making him #cyan/aqua/light blue with a greenish tint/teal is a very hard color to work with omg-- #and I have to stick with it because of the reverse color pallete thing Im doing but omg it's a hard color I should have just gone with #the color everyone always chooses for Gaster #purple #but I mean #the teal kinda makes him fit in with the CORE aesthetic so it fits #wait I think I'm rambling a lot in these tags #anyways let's cut to the actual tags #forgettable-au #undertale au #papyrus!gaster #papyrus is gaster #undertale #papyrus #gaster #undertale fanart

[dizzybizz]

please consider jellyfish john,, for me 🥺?

#i lvoe every interpretation and representation of him #here is my take #a big jellyfish #malevolent #i honestly dont know if this is a joke or not #if i dont think about it too hard i like the concept but i dont know much about jellyfish so idk if its smth that could make sense if you t #hought deeper on the topic #to me jellyfish are just so unknowable and weird and cool and silly. like john #my art #doodle #humor me with this one i am so eepy rn HJHASHgsg #ive been thinking so much about sea creatures recently this was bound to happen help

[stuckinapril]

The whole “be responsible not for other people’s feelings but to them” distinction is so so true… at some point you need to realize that other people’s insecurities really are their responsibility & dimming or contorting yourself to make them feel better helps neither you nor them. Firstly, bc they need to realize what they’re doing and grow up. And secondly, bc you’re not just compromising on a one-time thing. You’re comprising on who you are as a person. I don’t want to look back when I’m older and stay stuck wishing I held my ground despite people’s projections or asserted my presence more or didn’t apologize so much for who I am. I really just want to own everything (the good and bad) & continue doing what makes me happy

#This is something to bring up to the therapist for sure bc im not perfect on this yet #and i think that’s also another thing im learning to be less hard on myself for — just realizing im 21 and that having insecurities or weak #Spots still is literally okay. Making mistakes is okay. I beat myself up for this too much #I am not a horrible person for being young & learning how to live & no one will make me feel otherwise #This goes in the other direction too in the sense that I need to stop being apologetic of my accomplishments for fear of #Triggering other people’s insecurities. That is not and nor will it ever be my responsibility #I’m always going to be graceful w other people’s emotions but I’m no longer going to overcompensate bc it helps no one #And is not a marker of love for me to do so

[scificrows]

Okay, my brain refuses to think about anything other than Murderbot, so I looked at every use of the word "friend[s]" in TMBD and... created some pie charts. Normal human activities.

Some Thoughts™ I had while putting this together (under the cut):

In All Systems Red, Murderbot notes that the PresAux crew are all close friends (twice! and goes on to explain their internal relationships which I think is very cute). This is pretty much the only use of 'friends' in ASR, except for when Murderbot says that SecUnits can't be friends with each other.

It seems that this may be one of the first times Murderbot has ever really been around a group of friends before? Murderbot notes that this is not the norm for its contracts and admits that the fact that they are all friends and the way they interact with each other make it actually enjoy that contract (before!!!! the hostile attack, so it already enjoys this contract before they start seeing it as a person etc ghghhhh). [Inference: Friendship seems enjoyable.]

The first character that calls Murderbot its friend is ART in Artificial Condition. Murderbot immediately refutes this (and then goes on to call ART its friend to its clients for the rest of the book). [Inference: Maybe ART is Murderbot's friend. And maybe that is... agreeable]

Rogue Protocol has more than twice as many instances of the word 'friend' as any of the other novellas. Why? Miki. Friendship and its implications for non-humans are a central theme because Miki is friends with everyone. Murderbot initially scoffs at the notion that Miki and Miki's humans are friends. At the end of the book, after witnessing how desperately Don Abene tried to stop Miki from trying to save them, and her grief after its death, Murderbot has to admit that she had in fact been Miki's friend. [Inference: Humans can be friends with bots and can sincerely care about them]

In Exit Strategy, Murderbot tentatively uses the word "friends" for its humans for the first time (several times actually). It questions whether it can actually call them its friends or not and later realizes that it had been afraid what admitting that the humans are its friends would do to it. At the end of the book, Mensah tells Murderbot the PresAux crew are its friends, which is the first time a human has directly said that to it (at least on-page). [Inference: Humans can and want to be Murderbot's friends]

In Network Effect, Murderbot seems to be more habituated to the word 'friend', confidently calling ART and Ratthi its friends, like it is no longer just trying the concept on unsure if it fits. There are many instances in which other characters refer to MB as ART's friend or the other way around and Murderbot's humans refer to Murderbot as their friend several times. Generally, there seems to be less hesitancy, because yes, all of them are Murderbot's friends, why wouldn't they be. [Inference: SecUnits can have friends. This SecUnit has friends. They care about it a lot.]

Conclusion: The Murderbot Diaries tell the story of a construct that does not seem to consider the possibility of friendship for itself and is fine with that - until it accidentally starts caring a little too much and suddenly more and more people annex it as a friend (ew) to the point where it can no longer deny that this is happening and has to begrudgingly admit that yes, it has friends now and maybe that is actually not a bad thing.

#the murderbot diaries #murderbot #𓄿 #hi i'm READY to write a thesis about murderbot i am having way too much fun with this #i created a pretty excel spreadsheet and everything #i don't know why i did this but now i can look at them while i think about this more! so i figured i'd share them haha #i didn't count uses of 'friendly' but special shoutout to when MB is all alone in its cold cubicle missing 20% of its body mass #and starts putting on a show because 'the friendly noise would keep it company' 😭😭 #i feel sick thinking about murderbot all alone on its own not knowing what its like to have friends watching media for 'the friendly noise' #also YES okay i wanted to make a point about miki there but i just #couldn't bring myself to talk about that more so... yeah #also uhhh this data is very subjective #i didn't count particularly ironic uses of 'friend' and generally did not count every instance of friend and sometimes it was a hard call #also i probably shouldn't have counted the times murderbot refered to drones or secsystems as its friends (often after hacking them) #but murderbot does seem to care about them and shows kindness and respect and sometimes points out that a system is friendly #so while i don't think MB means “friend” in the same way referring to them as when it refers to ART for instance #i still think its CUTE and also kinda funny how many times that happened so i decided to keep those!!! #but yeah take my data with a grain of salt lol

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Master manipulator vs Master manipulator

 [First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #xue yang #a-qing #The scenes with XY and A-Qing are so delightfully tense and anxiety inducing #They are both so deep in the mind games with each other. Convinced they have the leg up when in reality they do not know the full scope #Also is is just me or do XY and A-Qing give off the vibe of internet nemeses? #A-Qing coming in hard with 'Oh you think blind people cant do XYZ? Get canceled idiot' #Meanwhile XY is the kind to purposefully use leet speak in descriptive text to antagonize the screen reader population. #a teen girl and a 4-channer who found his way to tumblr would be awful to watch fight irl but the vibes are equivalent. #Meanwhile XXC is going on a nice little walk to pick grass. I love him so much actually. #through writing these notes I have also gone down the rabbit hole of trying to pinpoint Xue Yang's age. Hello? Is it actually not known? #The best resources I could find put him as 1-3 years younger then xxc and song lan #So? early twenties? late teens? Someone who has absorbed more mdzs knowledge...Please help #Oh no I'm even deeper in the rabbit hole now. What do you mean the ages are mostly just relative? #What do you mean cultivators can age differently (usually slower in xianxia) #Oh no oh no wwx doesn't have a golden core. I was too accurate in my homestuck AU re: lifespans. I want to go back. #(I love angst and am now marinating this thought in my little thinking chamber)

[heartscrypt]

tfw you sign your soul over to an eldritch fear deity in order to regain some semblance of control over your own life (tma au)

nobody understands how fucking crazy i am about this au. its tormenting me. also epel is here as well he's corruption he has a lot of worms in him sorry in advance

closeups + design notes + au jamil fun facts under the cut!

(tw some body horror stuff? eye stuff)

design notes

his hair jewelry has been replaced with spider silk cocoons / string. also very obviously spider themed hair gem thing

spider eyes! both in the way of he has 8 human eyes and actual spider eyes on his neck

web tattoos. they spin outwards and grow in a kind of mesmerizing hypnotic pattern when he uses his powers

his braids now form a spiderweb pattern. hes also prematurely greying a little LOLL

his belt chains form a spiderweb pattern as well

he has piercings! an erl piercing across his nose bridge and four piercings on each ear

his pants are based off the spider-tailed horned viper-- a snake whose tail has evolved to look like a spider so the birds it feeds on will mistake its tail for prey

au jamil notes

his backstory pretty much remains the same honestly

except when he's around 11, instead of getting poisoned and falling into a coma, he gets trapped in a buried-aligned artifact that he touched while cleaning one of the asim treasure rooms

nobody could find him for weeks and kalim was really tearing up the whole estate about it because he insisted that jamil would never run off or disappear without a reason

jamil escapes the buried by taking the assistance of the web (he does it in the way of "i don't know what's going on but this thing is reaching out to help me and i don't want to die so fuck it" but he's still accepting the web into his life regardless)

after two weeks they find him covered in cobwebs and dust in the treasure room and he gets scolded for making everyone worry

he doesn't even bother trying to explain to people what happened to him because he knows it's too unbelievable for them. he spins a lie and he's surprised by how natural it is to just Lie to people

jamil's powers as an avatar of the web manifest visually as him "pulling strings" out of people's eyes. like unwinding their irises like they're spools of thread. if you've seen the prev post on web!jamil you know what it looks like

if he leaves the iris-strings half unwound they become very suggestible, very easily manipulated

however if he yanks out the iris-strings fully, he can turn the other person into a complete blank slate. no thoughts head empty. basically an empty cocoon of a person. he tends not to do this because 1) it's very conspicuous and 2) it renders the victim completely useless to the web

he has to concentrate very hard to do this and he can usually pull on only one person's iris-strings at a time

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst tma au #jamil viper #epel felmier #tw trypophobia #tw eye horror #heartscribbles #i hope you guys know how crazy i am about this #also i might expand on corruption!epel in another post #i just thought itd be fun. to fill this apple. WITH WORMS! #jamils trying really hard not to think about how spiders are bugs #hes latching onto the fact that spiders eat most bugs to avoid thinking too hard about his own spider theming

[waitineedaname]

my inner monologue is just always thinking about ritsu way too hard

#mp100 #ritsu kageyama #I wrote this as a stream of consciousness in the ms paint text box and then it literally. wouldn't fit. #and I couldn't make the text any smaller #so i had to switch to GOOGLE DRAWINGS to make this #I know this is hard to read but that adds to the humor to me lsdkjflkjdf #I'm just. ouuuughhghhg every time I think about him too hard I want to explode #I was also going to make a companion piece talking about his autism in comparison to mob's #but it's late. you guys can get the autism essay later if you want #I am going to become the number one ritsu poster through sheer mental illness alone #ritsu brain syndrome. instead of a brain there is ritsu #spinning him in my mind like that one bit from the season one opening

[bisexualfbiagents]

Mulder, they're gonna suspect you anyway, you've got no ID on the shooter, your behavior has been irrational lately... Mulder, can't you see that everything is pointing directly at you?

THE X FILES GIF MEME [3/9] SCENES from Anasazi (2.25)

#the x files #txf #dailytxf #txfedit #xfilesnet #fox mulder #dana scully #2x25 #anasazi #txfmeme #memescenes #mine #aka that one time mulder was tripping on lsd #here i am again giffing an impossibly long winded scene #idk why i like this i think i just love the way he says #what were you afraid i was gonna shoot you too? #so iconic #also how he says YOUR LITTLE NOTES #bro is trippin so hard #also don't ask me for my trust #ugh #anyway! bye

[barbieburnanator]

THERE'S A WOLF GIRL IN FE ENGAGE?!?!?!? WITH A WOLF FRIEND AND HER OWN TAIL?!?!?!!! AND NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT HER??!!!?!?!

#fe engage #merrin #fe merrin #fire emblem engage #my art #I just got her in my party last night and when I tell you my inner child screamed. My 12 year old self wishes they could be her #I have mixed feelings about this game #at first I had a hard time getting into it #and there's still A LOT I can't get into especially the story #but some of these later characters are really neat #I think a lot of the outfits are too much too #but I dunno. I'm starting to get into I guess #which is saying something cause I am a big bitch if I don't like something

[turtleblogatlast]

Don’t think I ever quite said what my LGBTQ+ headcanons are for the boys, so these are my current thoughts! Always changing of course but this is what I feel most strongly right now.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #rise donnie #rise leo #rise mikey #rise raph #donnie and leo’s sexualities being practically swapped was unintentional but it works way too well #same with mikey and raph tbh it was a happy accident #anyway I kinda hc raph as the type who doesn’t care about physical appearance just if you fight lol #Mikey’s more than happy with friends and family #Donnie is a BIG romantic but he needs time to sus a person out fully before he gets the hots for them #leo meanwhile isn’t keen on romance unless it’s with someone he grows to really really REALLY trust #I could go on and probably will later (knowing me) but it is late and I am tired haha #turtle art tag #curious as to what everyone else headcanons #the only one of these I’ll defend forever is Bi (female-leaning) donnie and trans leo #all the others can change over time but I really like where they’re sitting right now #I hope these are the right flags too because it was kinda hard to find them #went looking for transmasc flag in particular but I couldn’t find a solid agreed upon version 😭 #ngl a big part of why I hc mikey as aro is because of a pun #my phone often misspells aromantic as aromatic and- and you get it- because aromatic herbs and- and Mikey is a chef do YOU GET IT #note that while I hc leo as bisexual (male-leaning) I still think he’s prob closer to demi in that as well just not as far into the spectrum #if that makes sense #headcanons are fun and hard to narrow down at the same time alas #I made this in like an hour can you tell djjdjd #I drew them all from memory so if there’s anything wrong…shhh #and if you’re wondering for April and Splinter #Both are Bisexual (female-leaning) but April is also Panromantic #I almost wanna make Splinter demiromantic too so Big Mama’s betrayal hits just a bit harder