#people should listen to jennifer more! she Knows

[myouicieloz]

All for me

CEO Im Nayeon x college student!reader

Synopsis: Nayeon is on a work trip and you miss her.

Warnings: nsfw, smut, phone sex ig

Word count: 2.8k

Notes: hummm I think there are some spelling mistakes… grammar ones too lowk... not proofread! ˆˆ

-

“Who’s Jenjen?” Nayeon’s voice is full of disdain as she stares at you, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

“W-what?” you frown, taking your mouth out of her breast with a ‘pop’, truly confused about why she’d bring up your friend in the conversation while you’re like that: a mess of coated saliva and wheezy thoughts, buried in between her chest. “She’s my roommate. From the US, remember? But why—” The woman ignores your confused face, promptly picking up your vibrating phone from behind you. It was visible that your friend, Jennifer (or, well, Jenjen💞❤️😎💙 — as the girl had picked out her own contact name) was calling you. “—oh.”

Jen doesn’t call you often, so it’s strange that she did. You gesture to reach your phone from Nayeon’s delicate hands, only to have your own slapped, instead.

“What are you thinking? Don’t fucking answer.” She lifts an eyebrow at you, pulling herself up to her elbows.

Daring you to misbehave, to not listen to her clear commands. You know how well Nayeon loves this game, how she delights herself in punishing you whenever you do something she deems as wrong — even if you haven’t actually disobeyed her. She just revels in doing as such: messing with you as she pleases. You’re her property, after all. Her little doll, to play and deal with however she wanted to.

And you know better than to not follow her blindly.

You’ll deal with Jen later, you decide. For now, you allow Nayeon to pull you by the hair, bringing your focus back to her delicious moans as your mouth finds her stiffened nipples once again.

-

It was rare for Nayeon to facetime you unexpectedly.

You’d usually have full days of classes, and hers were usually pretty packed up with work, so she’d always wait until you were both on a break to call, messaging first.

Not today, though.

You answer the video call straight away, fixing yourself as best as you were able to while her face didn’t appear on the screen. While you were surprised, the smile on your lips was genuine. The woman had been in Japan attending a few meetings for a couple of days now, and you missed her a lot. She also seemed surprised to see you in your dorm, too, though it clearly pleased her more than it should.

“Hi, Nayeon. Is everything ok?” Your eyes brightened at the sight of her, looking so composed and lavish in her work clothes, bunny smile and shiny eyes presented all for you.

She could be a bitch and a pain in the ass if she wanted to, specially when dealing with work stuff, but she was always caring towards you. Never rude, never impatient.

“Well hello, princess. Don’t you have classes to attend to?” you giggled at the older woman, jumping in bed and taking her— or your phone, for what it mattered, with you.

“Technically, yes.” you told her, after a few seconds of fake pondering, “I’m ditching today, though. There’s this super difficult test on Friday, and I’m barely halfway done with reviewing, so I’m picking my battles.”

She knew this beforehand, of course. You’d given her your schedule when the semester had started, just so you’ll be aware, you’d told her. Truly, it was just natural for you to have her know your routine: it made you feel safe, cared for, and she liked it as well.

You tried to recognize if she was in her hotel room, but her background was a bit different from where you had FaceTimed last night; the walls were too white, and she had headphones on.

Most likely still at work, then.

“Smart girl, picking your battles.” Oh. There it was again, that tone. The one that made you tremble with anticipation, readjusting yourself in bed, so you could have some friction in between your thighs.

It was no surprise that Nayeon preferred to be taken care of. She did spend most of her time bossing people around, after all. Of course, you were more than pleased to give her that, treating and handling her just how she wanted you to, while she rewarded you with expensive gifts and trips. However, most of the time, she’d use you for stress-relief: groping and marking your skin until her anger was gone, and she could dote on her little doll again.

You looked forward to those nights, secretly wishing someone would make her angry enough so you’d be squirming, hopeless, under her touch for hours an end.

“It’s perfect, then.” Nayeon’s voice brought you back to the conversation, the sharpness of it not going unnoticed by you. “Take off your pants.” she commanded, leaning back on her chair so she could be the most comfortable.

“Excuse me?” it was your turn to stare at her incredulously, but she didn’t bulge. If only, her posture got stricter, and a tiny smirk adourned her face.

“Did you not hear what I’ve just said? Undress.” you rolled your eyes at your partner, suddenly filled with defiance, but still did as told. Your sweatpants were taken off rather clumsily, since you were still holding your phone close to your face, but you were quick to obey.

“Fine. Is it better, now?” You muttered, but Nayeon scoffed, still not fully satisfied.

She licked her lips, pleased to have you following her orders.

“Much better, princess. Now, let me see you.” You were curious to see how far she’d go, so you placed your phone on the other end of the bed, allowing her to see every inch of your exposed skin. Even with your panties and a sweatshirt on, you still felt completely exposed to her gaze.

Truth be told, you did feel that way even when you were fully clothed around her, too.

“So pretty. Are you alone?” She praised you, her onyx eyes leaving your body for a few seconds to search for any signs of other people at the dorm.

“Obviously?” Nayeon gave you a hard look, making you shrink in place. You tried your best to be polite, reserved, calm—and that included never being ironic or making snappy remarks at people, but occasionally, it slipped, almost naturally. “Sorry.” You corrected yourself, not meeting your girlfriend’s eyes. “Yes, I’m alone. Jen also has a full day of classes today. A private practice too, I think. She’ll be out until late.” You feel better, seeing the smile of approval on your lover’s lips.

She was looking at you with such lust, it made your heart break with how much you missed her.

“I want to touch you so bad.” you whined, motioning yourself further so you could hold the phone and be near her —at least virtually, again.

“Don’t move the phone. I want you exactly like this.” The answer came almost immediately, though Nayeon’s eyes did soften at your pleading. “I miss you too, pretty girl. The good news is: I’ve closed the deal earlier than expected, so I’ll be home by tomorrow.” You smiled contentedly, humming in response. “Now, be a good girl and make a show for me, will you?” she asked, eyeing you attentively.

“Not fair.” you mumble, but your hands still went all the way up the thin fabric of your panties to caress yourself. You’re not one to blush, but being stared at by Nayeon suddenly makes you too shy to look at her in the eyes.

It aroused you, though. To have her so immersed by you. You knew her secretary— anyone could barge in, and she wouldn’t even bat an eye. Aware of that, you could feel the slick starting to cover up your walls once you let out a low moan, biting your lips to muffle yourself.

“No sounds for me, princess?” Nayeon asked, too sweet, well aware of your intentions. She let you be a little defiant, knowing it’s mostly your way of showing how much you missed her.

“If you were here, then p-perhaps.” Your words faltered as your fingers caressed your folds, going around your slit in teasing motions. Your cunt was aching, desperate to be filled, but you knew better than to take matters on your own.

Even though you were the one bringing yourself pleasure, Nayeon was in command. She’d always be, in every aspect of her life.

The simple brush of your fingers was enough to have you panting heavy breaths, the wait being the most delicious part of the thrill. You wished it was Nayeon touching you, instead. You knew your sweetest spots, but no matter how much you’ve tried, you could never bring yourself to the same shuddering, earth-shattering orgasms you had whenever it was your partner touching you. Without her, you were never truly satisfied.

She’s ruined you, for yourself and for everyone else, just as she’d repeatedly told you she would.

“It’s only fair, I guess.” She mumbled, smiling at your stubbornness. “So pretty, still, and all for me. Put a finger inside, baby. That’s it, perfect. Breathe in, nice and slow.”

Her breaths were just as heavy as you followed her blindly, eager to seek your pleasure. Your walls welcomed a single digit, and you started with slow movements, just as Nayeon instructed you to.

“N-nayeon…” You whined, leaning your had back on your bed frame. As much as you could feel your wetness and the growing ache, gathering an uncomfortable sensation on your lower abdomen due to the faint action, you’d never be able to satisfy yourself as much as your girlfriend did.

“I know, princess, I know.” She coos, grabbing her phone as if she could reach out to you, instead. “It doesn’t feel as good, does it? It’s okay, I’ll be done with this conference soon enough, and then you’ll have me all to yourself.” You pouted, knowing better than to trust your girlfriend’s words when it came to work. She had done it before, after all: gotten a call back as soon as she stepped foot in the airport, her job trapping her for a few more days. “You have no idea how lovely you look right now, Y/n. In fact, I think your pretty pussy would look even better filled up with two more fingers.”

“I-I,” You whined, lips starting to tremble. It has not been an easy week for you, and your lover’s calm, soothing voice slowly started to turn you into a pliable mess, all hot and hazy.

The many thoughts seated previously in your head start fading, as your brain chooses to focus on Nayeon. Your eyes, though nearly closed, register how good she looks, how tight that 3-piece suit is, and how long she’s been away from you — now. Your skin got even hotter with the wishes to be kissing her plump limps, at the moment. Suddenly, your mind turned foggy, only grounded by your girlfriend’s low tone, and your fingers filling up your walls.

“You can take it, pretty girl.” She assured, motioning for you to do so. Clasped her teeth, then, at the sight of your pussy being entered by three of your fingers, still going in and out in an excruciating slow pace, not nearly enough for you to feel satisfied. “Taking it so good, so perfectly.”

Although the growing ache in your belly was deepening, you still shifted uncomfortably in your bed. The fabric of your panties was too thin, and the friction was starting to bother you. You wanted it off, so you could focus completely on the pleasure you were allowing yourself to have, but your girlfriend had other plans.

“What are you doing, princess?” She lifted her brows at the sight of you lifting your hips, displeased. Although she couldn’t say she hated to see you at that angle. “No, we can’t have that. Good girls keep their panties on. Just push it to the sides a little more, you can hold it if it makes you more comfortable.” Your pussy was so wet, glistening, and slick from her words. “There it is, you’re so good at doing what you’re told, baby. Always so smart.”

You let a loud moan escape from your mouth, aroused by her words, only to cover it up with your hands as you giggle— your pettiness all ruined.

Nayeon smiles hard, too. “I knew you wouldn’t hold it for long, princess. Your sounds are the most lovely, I hate when you cover them up.”

Even though you were flustered, from both your arousal and her praises, you still bit your mouth, committed to following your plan. Your fingers went back to your cunt, and you denied faintly, murmuring some incoherent words about how she’d have to come home and take those sounds out of you, herself.

“What’s all that for, huh?” She leaned her elbows on her desk, smirking at the mess of you on her phone. “Is it because of that purse you were whining about earlier? Come on, princess, I’ll buy you two of them if you let me hear your beautiful screams. Now go faster, too.”

You increased your fingers’ pace, moans exiting your mouth without a care, now that you'd have your wishes granted. “S-so good…” You say, in between whimpers.

“Dirty princess only wants my money.” Nayeon chants to herself, enamored by the sight of your spread up legs, toes curling with the possibility of reaching your high. “Don’t worry, pretty. I’ll give it all to you: all you want, and more. Just say it, and it’s yours. You want more, Y/n?”

You barely register her words, moans now filling up your bedroom’s previous silence. It takes her to repeat her question for you to partially understand it, although still unsure of what she was mentioning. Nevertheless, you nodded vigorously, ready to comply with all of her orders even if your mind was all foggy and hazy.

“Perfect. Now, circle your clit slowly, just like that, yes— exactly how you like it.” She laughs at the sight of you wincing, on the verge of being overwhelmed by your own sudden touches, “Careful, princess. We don’t want you to get overwhelmed right now. Remember to breathe, alright? That’s it, beautiful.”

Following her lead, you inhale deeply, bringing your other hand to your clit as you applied just the right amount of pressure to make you roll your eyes. The sensations aligned were building up to the pleasure on your lower abdomen, and you knew that you wouldn’t last much longer.

“Nayeon, I-I w—“ Your thoughts weren’t clear, and you struggled to voice your desires out loud. The frustration was enough for you to have little tears starting to accumulate in the corner of your eyes, as you huffed.

Thankfully, Nayeon knew you well. Before you started actively crying, she said, with a delicate, caring tone. “It’s okay, princess. You can cum. Do it only for a bit longer, I know you can.”

The effect of your girlfriend’s words was almost immediate: within moments, you were met with a dense wave of pleasure, consuming you completely as you let out a high-pitched, lustful moan. Breathless, you barely noticed how your fingers kept going with their movements, helping you ride out of your orgasm. Your girlfriend let you take your time, minutes passing by in a blink until your breaths were no longer irregular, and your thoughts were all back into place. You were no longer stressed; instead, you stared at her with a peaceful look, now feeling much better after such a tiring week.

As usual, Nayeon knew exactly what you needed.

“Always so sensitive…” Nayeon panted, brushing her fingers through her phone’s screen— as if she were caressing you, instead. “Remember to not overwork yourself too much, okay? Your grades don’t matter to me as much as your well-being; it should always come first.”

You nodded, bringing your phone near your face once again. Of course, you’d comply; she was the one paying for your tuition, after all. “I will, of course. Thank you, baby.”

Nayeon smiled, pleased by your manners. After catching up to her a bit more, you hung up the call, now all focused and much renovated for a new study session. Her message came later, a few minutes after you’d cleaned up your mess and was on the way to your desk, in hopes to wrap up soon.

Ps: I’ll buy you another one of your favorite purses if you leave your panties by Jennifer’s bed, princess.

You laughed at the message, also noticing your bank app’s notifications before you threw your phone away, emerging deep on your notebooks once again.

#s.writes #kpop x reader #kpop smut #kpop x y/n #im nayeon #nayeon x reader #nayeon smut #twice x y/n #twice x you #twice x reader #twice smut #twice nayeon

[disasterarea-podcast]

So given the writer’s strike, some people are concerned about their shows and movies being postponed or canceled, and aside from the fact networks have already BEEN canceling shows for no reason for years (I still maintain a healthy anger about what Netflix did to Sense8), I thought I would suggest some books on disasters you might want to read if you’re into that sort of history. Which you are if you’re here, I imagine.

Note: I’m suggesting these books because most books on disasters don’t get a huge audience, and so I recommend them because this sort of writing can be hard on the writer and requires a bunch of research. We throw so much money at true crime, we can spare a few bucks for the stories of people who died in disasters.

Also, please check with these with your local small bookstore or library. Amazon can be great, but let’s lend a hand to those who need us more.

Recommended books:

“The Circus Fire,” by Stewart O’Nan - This is one my favorite books on a disaster, because the whole thing creates a very vivid image of the circus prior to the fire in Hartford in July of 1944. There’s one specific line in the book which always makes me pause because it’s so affecting, about how everyone who escaped being able to hear the sounds of the animals screaming as they died - except all of the animals were out of the tent by then.

“The Only Plane in the Sky,” by Garrett Graff - This, I highly recommend you get on audiobook. It’s an oral history of the events of 9/11 with a full cast, and it’s incredibly affecting to listen to.

“Ada Blackjack: A True Story of Survival in the Arctic,” by Jennifer Niven - Ada Blackjack was a badass: flawed and weak at times, but hardy and steady when necessary. Half of her story is how she survived, but half is how she was exploited following her rescue. Both stories need to be known.

“Alive,” by Piers Paul Read - If you’re watching “Yellowjackets,” this should be required reading. If you’ve seen the movie adaptation from the 90s, there is WAY more you don’t know. The story of Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571 is a tough read, but a worthy one.

“A Night to Remember,” by Walter Lord - This is to disaster nonfiction what “In Cold Blood” is to true crime. It’s not a long read, but it’s a great one. Lord had the advantage of writing the book while many of the Titanic survivors were still alive and could give a very good description of what they went through.

“Dying to Cross,” by Jorge Ramos - I recommend this not just because it is good, but because it is timely. Nineteen people died in an un-air-conditioned truck as they were attempting to make their way into the states from over the Mexican border. It’s a horrific story, and one that humanizes an issue for whom some people need to be faced with the humans involved and what they go through.

“Bath Massacre: America’s First School Bombing,” by Arnie Bernstein - Harold Schecter also wrote a very good book on the Bath school massacre called “Maniac,” but I have a preference for this version. It’s a good reminder that schools in the U.S. didn’t just become targets in the last twenty years or so.

“Into Thin Air,” by Jon Krakauer - I feel like this is a gimme, but it’s a fantastic book from someone who was actually on Mount Everest during the 1996 disaster and knew those involved very well. I happen to like Krakauer’s work anyway - I even like “Into the Wild” despite my feelings about McCandless and his legacy - but it’s understandably my favorite.

“And the Band Played On,” by Randy Shilts - The one thing I will say is that Shilts’ treatment of Gaetan Dugas is *rough* to say the least and outright wrong on some points, God knows. But it’s still an amazing book, and if you come out of it not wanting to dig up Reagan and punch him a bunch I’m impressed at your restraint.

“Triangle: The Fire That Changed America,” by David von Drehle - The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire is one of the disasters I am most interested in, and I would argue this is the definitive book on the subject. Also, if this book introduces you to both Clara Lemlich and Frances Perkins … I mean, talk about badass women.

“The Radium Girls,” by Kate Moore - Look, I’ll say this. If you know of the Radium Girls, this is a great book on their story. If you don’t know, go in blind and prepared to be horrified.

“Red Famine: Stalin’s War on Ukraine,” by Anne Applebaum - Ukraine has always been a target. During the Holodomor, they were victims of one of the worst genocides in history.

“Midnight in Chernobyl,” by Adam Higginbotham - Like the miniseries? This is a great source for more information for what happened at Chernobyl and all of the ass-covering involved.

"Boston Strong: A City's Triumph Over Tragedy," by Casey Sherman and Dave Wedge - If you’re interested in the Boston marathon bombing, I really thought this book did a good job of connecting the stories of the victims, the authorities searching for the killers, and the killers themselves.

“Show Me the Bodies: How We Let Grenfell Tower,” by Peter Apps - As I understand it, Apps did a lot of covering the Grenfell Tower fire for the British press, and it shows. He provides a mountain of information, and you will come out of reading this book absolutely LIVID about what authorities allowed to happen in Grenfell and so many other council estates in the UK.

“Dark Tide: The Great Molasses Flood of 1919,” by Stephen Puleo - I feel as though the molasses flood gets treated like a joke a lot of the time, but y’all, twenty people died. That area of Boston was *wrecked*. The photos of the devastation are terrifying. Puleo treats all of this with the proper respect it deserves.

“In the Heart of the Sea: The Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex,” by Nathaniel Philbrick - Forget the movie. Read the book.

“The Great Influenza,” by John M. Barry - Want to read about the 1918 flu epidemic? Want to be mad that a hundred years later we didn’t learn a damn thing?

Now, that’s just a start. If anyone wants, I can always post photos of my disaster book collection on Kindle and next to my recording desk. Or if there’s a specific disaster you’re interested in, I may know of a good book about it you can read.

But just remember if SAG and the directors’ guild joins the strike too - there is so much out there to occupy your time until they come back. Entertainment work is work, and it deserves to be supported financially and fairly as such. Rock on, WGA. ✊

[l0tt1emy]

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ || Not even close

Bullykim minji x F!reader

A/n: ...hyein is kinda mean here..New jeans and aespa are the popular groups at school, Danielle and haerin are caught kissing but ignore that...mean girls vibes??? Minji is not SO bully, i think she is just popular

Warnings: kiss, swear words, light sexual mentions...nothing exaggerated

God, you had no idea what you were doing here, you would kill Yujin for this, she is annoying, she knows that you are just a student who studies more than should, is tormented daily by the popular people and even made you come to this stupid party, and even had the audacity to leave you alone to go kiss wonyoung.

You may be feeling cold sweat when you saw people kissing, and almost eating each other if that's not a euphemism, it was terrifying and to make matters worse you didn't have wifi... it was pathetic to take your useless phone and scroll through the gallery while scrolling through old photos that you should delete

until you see everyone at the party looking to the left, some looked terrified while others had a sparkle in their eyes, and others pretended not to see whoever the person was there anyway.

and when you look, it was who you thought, one of the two most popular groups at school, they were terrifying, they went out to parties and the youngest of the group was a terror...she threw water at people while they were going to the bathroom and that made you and your poor group of nerdy girls have their bladders full and scared, and it wasn't just out of fear, she stole your lunch every day, and made a rumor that you had sex with one of your friends, how the rumor disappeared you didn't know, but that was none of your business

you might feel tense when you see Kang haerin, the school princess, who made fun of the newbies and you didn't go to waste, she said you smelled on your first day there, by her side Marsh Danielle, the whole school thought they were dating but if rumors spread, you felt sorry for what would happen, She was kind and almost never made fun of people, but she wasn't innocent.

They looked around while her hands were clasped tightly, behind her arrived Kim minji on Hyein's side, god..you could feel the atmosphere getting heavy, .when hyein came parading everyone who was minimally without fame averted their eyes, going back to talking while the crowd of girls who thought they were popular surrounded her

You broke out of your trance when you saw Minji looking deep into your eyes, she was the one you avoided the most, she always tried to make friends with you, when she was stealing the materials you were a new girl and she saw you there, you mentally cursed when a probing smile appeared and she said "oh..do you want to help me here?" slowly with a tone that she is obviously mocking you, after that she acted like your friend, when she was with Giselle in the hallway she whistled at you and you could hear provocative laughter that made you feel like burying your head in a hole and never leave again, In the refectory she decided to sit next to you and made all the popular girls sit with you, you looked like a rabbit in the middle of all the wolves, even those younger than you scared you

They talked about scaring newbies and told you who they were going to disturb or make rumors about, and you just stayed quiet as you glanced sideways from the cold food to the group they were talking to normally as if you were part of it, it was terrifying.

You feel yourself blush when you see Minji looking at you and quickly look away from your phone as the familiar feeling of discomfort crosses your chest, you sigh as you mentally curse yourself.

As if celestial gods are listening, Hanni pulls Minji into a crowd of popular girls, namely Chaewon, Jennifer, Yeojin and Yuna, leaving you alone on the couch

After uncomfortable minutes, your eyes went from kissing couples, to fighting couples, now your eyes looked tired, the flashing lights of the party hurt your head and you felt your body melting into the sofa, you look at a small table with only alcoholic drinks. , and you even thought about getting it if Yuna and Minnie hadn't kept guard over the best drinks, you didn't know whether to face your fear and take the damn drink or just stay there until your friend willingly STOP devouring poor, poor wonyoung shamelessly , you really weren't in the mood to see this, it wasn't appropriate for your sober eyes

the more time passed the more you felt bad, mentally deciding after humiliating yourself so much and thinking of the best responses to humiliate yujin you finally decide to get up, uncomfortably you get up from the sofa and walk awkwardly towards the seas of dancing bodies to get your drink, as you tried to pass by the sweaty bodies, stinking hair, people laughing and more drunk than anything about to vomit you finally reached your destination, a table with good drinks, a pile of red glasses were thrown across it, you see yuna and minnie laughing and clearly making fun of someone and you stay as far away as you can from them, you take one of the glasses and put the drink in it which doesn't look so good, but that's what you had, when you were going to drink the liquid in the glass you feel a tall person bumps your glass, causing all the purple drink to fall onto your skirt and shirt

".im so Sorry..." a mockingly matter-of-fact voice reaches your ears and you can feel yourself blushing as you look up, looking at hyein. " You should watch where you're going" a voice is heard behind you, recognized as Hanni voice

you could feel yourself blushing, the feeling of discomfort filling your chest and you stumble over your words.

you look at your stained blouse and finally say something after a few embarrassing seconds "it wasn't my intent-" " obviously it wasn't" hyein interrupts "You can just clean the shirt...it's not a designer brand" hanni says behind and pulls hyein away from you, while you wonder how you're going to pass in the sea of dirty people, that would ruin 0.001% of your popularity

you had to choose between staying here like an idiot or going to the bathroom and calling yujin until her cell phone died, the second option seemed better but you knew you didn't have the courage, grabbing another glass of drink and praying to a thousand angels that you wouldn't get dirty again you drank the drink faster than you thought

the alcohol getting into your head and for a second you see everything blurred, feeling strangely better, when the drink ends you mentally curse, but you don't have the strength to get up, Seeing all the people around you seems like a blur to you, you don't know if it's because your eyes are hurting from the flashing lights, if the alcohol is coming in and flooding your mind or if you're simply tired, but then your eyes focus on one person. whose hair has the same cut as yujin, it could only be her you think

putting your phone in your pocket and getting up, almost falling again, looking around to make sure no one saw you, follow the path towards the person, the closer you get the further away the person gets, and like magic the person is not there. the only paths being the party entrance and the bathroom, you can only guess that she went to the bathroom, if it really is yujin, look for wonyoung

You stagger, cursing yourself for borrowing Miyeon's heels, arriving at the bathroom entrance you see Danielle and Haerin kissing? danielle had a glass of a strange drink in her hand, with her arm stretched over haerin's shoulder, they seemed too in love to see you there, and you were grateful because if they had seen you it wouldn't have been good, the people there seemed the same. the most drunk at the party, they were eating, some taking off their shoes and others with their faces full of lipstick, diverting your attention from the people you go back to looking for yujin

as everything was so good you bump into someone who had MORE drinks in their hand, and the person instinctively puts their hand on your waist, you're so drunk you don't realize it "Are you okay?" the person comes close to your ear whispering because of the loud music

then you realize it's Kim minji, damn it. She looked more attractive than when you saw her from afar, her outfit seemed to suit her and her lips looked pretty. and for minutes you forgot that she asked you a question, your forehead wrinkles slightly and your grip gets tighter "Hey, are you listening to me? you're all dirty..let's clean up" she murmurs and you come out of your trance, A shade of pink splashes across your cheeks and you wave softly, waiting for her to let you go, but she doesn't, walking through the party towards a place that no one can enter, the people around her looking at you and not even hiding their murmurs.

when you enter the room first she closes the door quickly "hm the owner of the party is my friend... I mean he's ugly, but he has good parties so I talk to him" she blurts out as she goes to a place in a closet "there's an outfit from one of my friends, you must know her" she murmurs and takes out what looks like a very expensive outfit and gives it to you "this looks horrible but it's the only thing there" she says without looking at you Still, you can't even think and feel ashamed for having to say that you can't put it and she finally looks at you, raising an eyebrow "I understand" she murmurs, coming closer to you and untying your heels, her eyes narrowing "can you really walk with this?" she murmurs and you just babble things "Jesus, how many glasses did you drink? Did you come to this party alone? You look like a child" she lets out a sigh and takes the top part of the set, taking off your current wet clothes, leaving you in just your bra , you blush and look away anywhere but at the girl in front of you, she puts the shirt on you and nods to herself "that looks much better" She lifts you up and grabs your waist tighter "I think I'd better take you to my dorm today" she says keeping Miyeon's heels somewhere, you know you should tell her to take care of it, Miyeon would kill you but you can't say anything

"i don't know.." you say slurred and she doesn't even bother answering "you prefer to be alone at this party? you don't seem to have a brain right now" she says directly as her eyebrows arch gently pulling you by the arm towards the party, a spike of energy welling up in your veins and you grab her hand "dance with me please?" you say in her ear and she tenses up “here?” she says, clearly not wanting people to use you for seeing you with her, especially dancing, she always refused to dance with people "they're drunk.." you say slurred and pull her onto the dance floor giving a smile, you don't even You need to ask for space, people just leave so Minji can have space

You looks at her while you dance, giving a smile and taking her hand, unconsciously Minji puts her hands on your waist and you, drunk without thinking, wrap your arms around her neck and start moving, while you join the crowd, after a time minji leans her head towards your right ear and murmurs "You know you're lucky" she says and you can feel her smile even without looking, her fingers twitch on your waist "ah?.. why?" "I would have left you at the party, but you know, why not?" she says

" I guess that's why you're popular" you blurt out, Minji smiles and bites her lower lip, trying not to smile "oh..yeah?" she says her face getting closer "yeah what?" you murmur "yeah it's true" She leans her face close, her breath touching your face, you swear you could feel her lips "what are you doing?" you say shakily and feel her fingers tighten more "nothing" she says in a sigh " I'm just looking at you" Minji mutters, squinting softly at the flashing lights, and as if the world was blurry your mind went blank, Minji's lips being the only ones on your mind, you were probably drugged, just one glass and you did things on impulse

so as a glimpse you capture minji's lips on yours, without letting the girl know if anyone would see, the worst that would happen is that she would push you and everyone at the party would take a photo, but then minji pulls your waist and takes your body for more close, closing your eyes and opening your lips inviting you to enter

You would never do this soberly, especially with someone as popular as Minji, but after the kiss flowed those thoughts flew out of your head.

the more you kissed her, the more the kiss became aggressive, and minji pulled you to a place in the bathroom "let's get out of here" she murmurs between your lips, not even caring about the lack of breath

pulling you against a wall in the hallway of the not very busy bathroom, she holds you against him again, kissing you, the kisses going down to your neck while she caressed your arm

until you heard the voice of someone familiar "She's got to be joking! where did she go" and you could clearly hear that it was New Jeans, probably looking for Minji, but it seems like you were the only one who noticed, even though you were drunk

"Minji..hey” you mumble trying to push her away but she just mumbles in agreement, so you push her away and she looks at you, looking disoriented "what happened?" Minji says breathlessly as her cheeks make a perfect match with her lips, covered with your red lipstick. before you can respond Hanni arrives in front of you and Minji while in the background Hyein and Danielle are arguing about some topic and Haerin is focused on the ceiling

" What's going on?" Hanni asks hesitantly and raises an eyebrow.

"nothing" you and minji say at the same time, your lips and minji's matching, and the position of you two doesn't match that excuse, hanni frowns and crosses her arms "okay" she says slowly then hyein comes forward "Unnie! let's go" hyein says approaching with a pout "danielle is drunk!" she stops in front of minji and then with a click she notices you there "what is she doing here..." she asks a question, which doesn't seem like a question so much "is that my shirt?" she exclaims and her eyebrows visibly furrow "hanni tell minji to leave?" she crosses her arms and hanni looks at minji, not even needing to speak minji moves away and bites her lower lip "see you tomorrow" she moves away slightly

hyein continues complaining to danielle about nonsense and haerin continues looking into space, now staring at her own glass of drink as the girls left and she stood there, then she jumps slightly

" Pretend nothing happened here, I'll give you your shirt back later" Minji continues talking

"MINJI" The girls say in unison with bored expressions "bye" Minji says embarrassed and runs towards the group infiltrating the middle

"hey! But Miyeon's high heels.."

Fuck.. she will kill me

#kim minji imagines #kim minji smut #kim minji x reader #new jeans imagine #newjeans scenarios #newjeans x reader #newjeans minji #new jeans headers #new jeans imagines #newjeans imagines

[briwbb28]

SLUT!

part 1

“And I break down, then he's she’s pullin' me in

In a world of boys girls, he's she’s a gentleman”

_____

paring: paige bueckers x fem oc

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Mya has always been named as a slut to so many people because of her ex girlfriend spreading lies about her and even her having her own podcast with her best friend Lily just makes it worse because now everyone knows about her, but what if someone who didn’t care what people said about her?

_____

November 5th 2023

at 6:30pm

MYA’s POV

“It just never stops.” I laughed as I tells a story about how I got approached in public being asked if I was Jennifer Lawerence when we look nothing alike.

“Bro that’s so funny like y’all don’t even look alike.” Lily laughs as they are laughing into the mic. Lily is the only girl Mya can trust. She was the only girl who listened to her about everything that happened with her ex and her reputation going down. She was always by her side.

“Okay now that’s enough. Now let’s get into the juicy stuff.” Lily said with a weird smile which made me laugh at her weird face that she made.

“Oh no.” I said dramatically being prepared for the questions Lily was gonna ask. “Since I am here, you should tell people what happened between you and you know who.” Lily said which makes me smile at her. She knows that i wanted to address it, but I couldn’t be by myself.

“Yeah, uh so. My ex started this rumor about me saying how I cheated on her during our relationship because I always hung out with Lily and she knew that she was wrong because turns out she was cheating on me the entire time and when I found out, she blocked me on everything, and moved out of her dorm so I couldn’t see her.” I explained with a laugh at the end trying to lighten up the mood.

“and how did you find out she was cheating?” Lily asked already knowing the answer. “I got a hey girly text.” I said laughing because of Lily making a disgusted face.

“she’s just so ew.” Lily says gagging which makes me laugh and nod my head. “Anyway, let’s talk about the women’s basketball team.” Lily says wiggling her eyebrows which makes me shake my head with a smile.

“oh no.” i said throwing my head back. The women’s basketball team at UCONN were really attractive and they were really good which makes them even more attractive. Lily has been having her eyes on Nika for a long time.

“oh yes. Nika is my bae even though she doesn’t know it yet.” Lily says which makes me sigh. “Girl, you are delusional.” I said as we both laugh.

“So you are telling me you don’t find any of them attractive?” Lily says which makes me smile and just stare at her which lets her know that she is not wrong. “okay, who do you think is cute?” Lily asks which makes me sit there and think for a second.

“Paige Bueckers probably.”

November 7th 2023

at 5:46pm

MYA’s POV

Im just sitting in my room on my phone just scrolling through instagram until i get a DM out of nowhere. I go to check and my eyes went wide when i saw that Paige Bueckers DM’d me. I go to look what she said which make a blush come to my cheeks.

Paige Bueckers

oh, so you think i’m attractive? 5:47pm

Mya Courtney

maybe i do. is that a problem? 5:49pm

Paige Bueckers

no problem at all. i just wanted to

ask something. 5:31pm

Mya Courtney

and that is? 5:32pm

Paige Bueckers

go out with me? 5:33pm

Mya Courtney

is this a question or a demand? 5:35pm

Paige Bueckers

both. 5:36pm

Mya Courtney

can i think about it? 5:38pm

Paige Bueckers

take all the time you need Mya. 5:40pm

no rush. 5:41pm

it’s not like i don’t want to go out on a date with paige, but what if this is some kind of joke? or me being on her little roster she probably has? why me? she could go out with anyone if she wanted to. she has to know the kind of reputation “i have” and she definitely has heard what people have said about me, what me ex has said about me and way more.

i just laid down on my bed as i started at the ceiling as the same word is surrounding my brain. why? why? why?

#paige bueckers #lesbian #uconn wbb #wbb #my wife

[spirit-meets-the-b0ne]

In the middle of my HotD rewatch

The gyroscope of interpretation on this show has been at the forefront of my rewatch along with now having read some of the script and read/watched cast interviews.

This one inference made by Olivia Cooke (via Sarah Hess) has plagued me for the first few episodes.

Now, now I know these waters are really muddy what with a few obvious conceptual things: "isn't this queer baiting" "if it wasn't it wouldn't be good sapphic representation anyway" "this is an actors interpretation" blah blah blah. I'm not arguing any of that.

Just that Olivia's head canon held against this scene hits SO MUCH HARDER

Because I gotta say MY GOD imagine how that strikes Alicent if at some point her mother caught them together. Before they even really knew what they were doing (objectively to the tune of they were 13/14 not fully clear on platonic/romantic love) her mother impressed upon them it was wrong. When they denied and in some way or another Alicent/Rhaenyra saying "she never touched me." Only for Alicent to hear it echoed back to her years later like this... Knowing that even in her naïveté she would recognize the truth. That Alicent’s mother, naturally, kept this contained. Which honestly plays more to truly making Alicent more complex by the way she saw what “scandal” her mother covered up for her only for her to act out some perversion of this with Aegon when she’s a mother. A learned behavior twisted in the worst way, because that's what she knew.

Listen I fully understand that this show is NOT taking this angle even though there seems to be a huge division between what some writers and actors are playing to and the editors at HBO imaginably being like "what's all this gay shit?" BUT

I think it's part of what this show missed about TRAGEDY and I mean come on you want drama???? These girlies were ready to hand it to you on a silver plater! In this context I needed:

Rhaenyra being devastated by the news that Alicent was going to be marrying her father. The sheer heartbreak of “this can’t be happening” and knowing she would have lost Alicent to a husband but not THIS. Show her with Syrax, confiding in her dragon because now she has no other friend to talk to - I’m just saying if they were going with the context of “Fire & Blood itself is an unreliable narrator and only shows certain people’s views” - then a scene like this disrupts nothing. Tell me how when they prayed together and Alicent told her to "kneel with me" that part of Rhaenyra prayed for that world where they flew off on dragon back and ate cake.

Alicent being devastated - having her heart torn in two, crying behind every closed door knowing she was going to break the heart of her best friend. The deleted scene does give a peak of that being the case - but again it could/should have been included. Show me Alicent begging Rhaenyra to forgive her and desperately saying she loves her. I think one of the things that Team Green argues the most could have been explored by this avenue, Alicent is a victim of her marriage - it would be inherently more compelling if in the process she is also losing the closest thing to a "first love" she had. Show me Alicent at her desk writing letters to Rhae once a week and then ceremoniously burning them in the braziers. Alicent leaning more into religion as a means of getting out from under her repressed desires and past actions.

Show me both women struggling in their adulthood to even remember why they held "such childhood affections" for each other. Knock the fucking wind out of me with a line like, "the worst part of it all was that they only ever wanted to love each other."

To me one of the worst parts of this production (of which there's a few) has got to be this was the apex of completely missed opportunities to explore. In the premise of "going by unreliable sources" their queerness would be suppressed information. I even think it plays into the dynamic between Rhae-Alicent-Criston in a kind of "Jennifer's Body" way where Rhae was really only interested in him as the object of Alicent's desires which I believe is made a little clearer in the books. A kind of "see this could have been us if you didn't marry my bag-of-bones father" for Rhaenyra who clearly had no aversion to consorts.

I'm sorry to go on this rant, and yes I KNOW - the counter arguments for many of these points. I would even argue some of them further such as the sapphic representation not being invalidated simply because both women do end up with men in the source material. If this was the case then why was "Portrait of a Lady on Fire" received so well? This at the very least to say if they made Alicent and Rhaenyra explicitly queer it would still be less controversial than what the queer men on that show got … Still its not even to say "it's a better way" to explore more of Rhaenyra and Alicent's characters but its at least A WAY to do it. More than we got. Surely both sides could agree on that.

Sorry, now I'm just being pedantic. As a queer woman naturally I have a bias but I still think this was objectively a missed opportunity to explore. Both girl's back stories could have been enriched and tbh a lot of HOTD fans I know also had the same complaint that the time skip came in too early. I think it also makes things less likely to be so divisive between TG and TB when you look at the central pillars of this conflict. You can truly grieve for Alicent and Rhaenyra and what they lost already while on the verge of losing it all. Anyway, I gotta go cry about my divorced lesbian war wives.

#HOTD #rhaenicent #rhaenyra targaryen #alicent hightower #queer theory #Sarah hess #olivia cooke #SARAH EMILY OLIVIA EMMA AND MILLY WERE SERVED LEMONS BUT THEY MADE LEMONADE AND DAMN AM I PARCHED!!! #antis do not interact #I am all for the subversive but if more of this was brought to the surface things would just hit different #most of the straights I talked to did not see the homoerotic nature of their relationship until it was brought up in detail

[infernalodie]

𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐚 || 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐚 𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐟𝐟

“𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘸𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘪𝘯' 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘞𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘱, 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯' 𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘈𝘪𝘯'𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘴 𝘋𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘢, 𝘩𝘦'𝘭𝘭 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳“

Inspo: Labrinth - Dracula Cigarettes After Sex - K.

Pairing: Vampire!Natasha Romanoff x Black!Fem!reader

Summary: There was always someone or something that had been watching you...

Warnings: Angst, sexual tension, smut, dumbification, fingering, mommy kink, and blood consumption.

Words: 3648

DNI IF YOU’RE YOUNGER THAN 18!

When Jennifer told you to not delve into the underworld, you really should’ve listened. Maybe that was because of the lack of hours of rest or the constant blabbering your boss did whenever you gave him more evidence and leads to the case you had been working on since you joined the police department. But you knew it was the fact that you wouldn’t dare walk the streets at night. Not down a dark alley, not down a well-lit street–nowhere. You wouldn’t risk it after the things you’d seen happening right beneath your feet.

“You want to make my client testify for–your words exactly, ‘A vampire society living under our city’?” Jennifer questioned, staring at the paper you’d given her. Looking back up at you with an incredulous look on her face, eyes squinting. “Did you smoke something before you wrote this-”

“Jen, this is real!” You exclaimed, grabbing the paper from her hand and slamming it on her desk. “This is fucking real and I am scared!”

Hearing that come from her best friend, a woman who never backs down from anything, scared of some myth surprised her. You became a detective to help solve problems others didn’t have answers to. And an extension of that, you were willing to put your life on the line to do the right thing. But this was something that kept you up at night. A constant whisper being spoken into your flesh, making you shiver despite the multitude of blankets that you hoped would protect you. Yet, no matter what you did, no matter how much divide you created from what could lurk in the dark, you still didn’t feel safe.

So, seeing this altered side of you irked with Jennifer, who rose from her chair and stared at you, concerned. “Y/n, maybe you need to take some time off from work,” she suggested. “We can book a flight to Tahiti once I’m done with this case-”

“Fuck-” You groaned, running your hands over your face. “Jen, this fear just doesn’t go away. I know what I’ve seen and I know what is happening. For all I fucking know, they could be watching and listening!”

Upon saying that, you finally realized your mistake. Looking at Jennifer with wide eyes as you snatched the paper from her desk and made your way to the door. “Y/n, where the hell are you-”

“Get security, Jen! Do whatever you have to to keep yourself for the next few days!” That was all you left the famous lawyer before you were sprinting out of her room and through the firm. Out to do god knows what, which left an unsettling feeling in Jennifer’s chest.

Grabbing her pen, about to look down at her table, she saw the reflection through from her glass desk. Staring at two glowing red orbs before they glowed brighter with a face becoming apparent. The person’s lips twisted into a foul and sinister grin, causing Jennifer’s blood to run cold with the puncture of something slowly pressing deep into the side of her neck.

“My pet is coming home.”

Traversing your way down those familiar alleys that were populated with people searching for the same thing, but with different reasons. Peace, fantasy, change; whatever it was that drove them to look for the Underground, you didn’t care as much as you should. If they wanted to be used as blood bags, then so be it. You were going to bring this entire thing down to the ground and if that meant killing, then you would.

It wasn’t hard to find that obscured entrance near the old docks in Harlem. A large set of oil drums were stacked around it, hiding that huge hole that had a flimsy piece of wood covering it. The hardest part was removing all the oil drums before getting to the entrance without drawing any unwanted attention. And with the already noticeable paranoia, it took you a bit to build up the courage to just enter.

The tunnels had lamps hooked along the right and left corners. One repeating after the other after 5 feet of distance to keep the consistent light in the dusty tunnel. Wooden beams keep some support from the dirt above your head and prevent the tunnel from collapsing. Gun in hand and phone in the other, you carefully made your way forward. Always taking cautious glances behind you, hyper-aware that you were once again entering the territory you didn’t belong in.

But whatever you did, there was a calling to it. Unspoken words echo in your head with an unrecognizable voice being accompanied by them. Perhaps it was the case and how deep you were in it or just the fear of what you’d uncovered. But there was an unaltering fear that would subside no matter the time you spent away from the case. And running away from it might just make things worse.

So here you were, going deeper down the rabbit hole and being able to hear the pounding music that shook the ground beneath your feet. The multiple scents of candles being burnt gave floral scents that assaulted your nose unapologetically. But once you made it towards the exit, the warm lighting of candles was enough to reveal the horrors that kept you up at night.

Sprawled out on couches were vampires and humans. Drinking, eating, and sucking away the men's and women's blood. Balancing a delicate line between life and death with how pale they were. It was voluntary from what you guessed but didn’t change the fact that there were indeed vampires and they were living with the humans. And if they were peaceful, you might give up the chase, but you also knew that these same vampires that were smiling, laughing, talking, there were a few that had murdered humans that were innocent. That’s how you got started on this case and ended up finding this place. Murders that had an abnormality to them raised questions that needed answers.

Holstering your pistol, you carefully moved through the bodies of people walking to private rooms or in the public scenery of the hideout. Gripping your phone tighter by your side as you took multiple pictures. The first time you came down here, you were in too much of a state of shock to even think about gathering evidence. But now with the threat of Jennifer’s life now at stake, you needed to gather all the evidence you could before bringing it to your chief who could properly conduct a plan to raid the hideout.

“You must be her.” The sudden silky smooth voice made you flinch. Swallowing the lump in your throat as you turned to find a blonde woman standing with her arms crossed, a glass with a red substance staining the inside of it. From all the other women you had seen, she wore a pair of black slacks with a black suit jacket to match. Features are soft and seem to be etched to perfection just by the beauty and natural glow she gave. Her pale skin beneath revealed with only a black lace bra covering her breasts from your eyes. Her eyes burned a fiery orange that placed you in a sliver of a trance, hypnotized by the glow they produced. They looked you up and down with judgement, setting your smaller frame ablaze.

But after a few moments, she hummed with a nod, almost confirming her previous assumption. “Yeah, you’re definitely her,” the woman spoke, a hint of a smile on her lips as she stepped closer. Her lips parted to reveal her pearly white teeth, tongue pressing gently to her right canine that was razor sharp. Too afraid of causing a commotion or making your goals known, you stayed planted when the woman stood mere inches from you. Having to anchor your head to keep her gaze.

Her freehand found your waist, nails gently digging into the denim. Pulling you closer, a silent order that you followed and was acknowledged with a hum of approval. “Why she decided to have you to herself I will never understand,” she muttered. “There’s enough of you that we could share. You would be a treat to have in my bed tonight.”

Swallowing the lump in your throat, trying to maintain a strong front, you sniffled. “Where is she?”

The woman tilted her head, smiling slightly. “Not going to tell me your name, love?” She inquired. “Mine’s Yelena. And the woman you’re looking for isn’t of your concern.”

As Yelena was beginning to close the distance, the sound of footsteps behind you alerted her. Lifting her eyes past you, nose twitching before she pulled away. “But it seems like our fun has been cut short. These men will take you to her.”

Without so much as a whisper, you were taken away by the two men who you guessed were guards. You were still spiralling trying to figure out how they knew you and how they knew you would be here. But that also meant that they’d been watching. Worsening the regret of even talking to Jennifer about this case that was becoming worse and worse the more time went by.

Being escorted through the dark corners of the main lounge, you were then sent down a hall that had luminescent lights on the ceiling. Casting a faint light aqua on the plain black walls as the sound of the men’s dress shoes bounces off the walls with loud clicks. You were suffocating, strangled by the sense of fear and deprivation of hope. If they knew what you were up to, then you might as well be dead. And if they knew you had evidence, well, you might as well be locked up and used as a personal blood machine. Now, you would shoot yourself before that ever dared to be the case. But there was a tinge of curiosity that tugged at the strings of your mind, wanting to learn and maybe find a reason to turn away from this place and take that well-needed vacation Jennifer had suggested to you.

Stopping at the end of the hall, the two men stood on either side of you. An expectant look in their eyes as they motioned with their heads towards the door that stood in front of you. There was no other sound beyond; only the booming music coming from behind you. Letting out a shaky exhale, you carefully grabbed the door handle and pushed it open, entering the room.

The first thing that hit you was the warm aroma given off. A strong timber and homely scent invades your nostrils and slowly slips deeper into your body. It wasn’t like the harsh candles in the lounge, this was nicer and warmer. Then you were quick to notice that the room wasn’t lit as well as the hallway or lounge, plunging most corners of the room into darkness. Only thing to be seen was a desk that held the source of light with books and papers sprawled across the top. A bottle of blood standing just a few inches from a chair that was turned away from your vision.

Your trance was broken when the door to the room slammed shut, causing a gasp to fall from your lips. Looking around and finding that same feeling of being watched become apparent. There were very few things you could see through the darkness. And with the light aiding your vision, it prevented your eyes from adjusting and telling things apart in the shadows.

“Uh…” There was a pause, pursing your lips and brows creasing. “I heard you were looking for me?”

“That would be right.” The sudden voice made you swing around with your pistol levelled in that direction. A spark of a flame igniting with the faintest features being revealed. Lips, jaw, and eyes that glowed a bright crimson red. Cigarette resting between the woman’s lips that she sparked before waving the match out.

The sound of her shoes alerted you to her approach as she finally revealed herself, and you couldn’t contain the widening of your eyes. The woman stood a good foot above you, without added inches from her shoes. Same as Yelena, her features were soft and sculpted for perfection. If vampires and books related to reality, then you guessed aging hadn’t taken effect and left her in a time period  Her long luscious red hair held a natural shine to it as it fell over her shoulders. Body broad in its structure, which you guessed was muscle hidden beneath her clothes. Almost exactly like Yelena, the woman wore a dress jacket and slacks. The only difference was there was no bra to hide your curious gaze. Just one lift of her arm or sway of the jacket and you were given a peek of what was beneath.

You had to hold back the shiver that ran down your body being under this woman's dark gaze. All she did was slowly stop right in front of you. Her hulking figure towering with her free hand cupping your jaw and gently turning your face. Red chapstick lips tilted into a grin as she inspected your features closely. “You look a whole lot better in person than from a distance, darling.”

“Who the hell are you?” You muttered, glaring at the woman. Even if she may be overwhelmingly attractive, you wouldn’t let it show.

But sadly, the woman only continued to smile down at you. “Natasha Romanoff,” she answered. “And you are Y/n. Detective for the NYPD and well-known for solving all her cases. But here she is, searching for something to shoot her into stardom, right?”

“That’s not it.” You moved your head from her grasp, which made her snicker.

“Of course, it isn’t.” She moved past you, still continuing to puff on that cigarette. “You have a moral compass that was made before your father died–By the way, you were a cute kid back then.” Natasha collapsed in the leather chair, eyes rolling up and down your body with a glazed thought on the precipice of her eyes. “Sexy now-”

“You knew my father?” You questioned, silencing the vampire that let her eyes flicker up to yours.

Sniffling, she grabbed the bottle and took a swig. The sight of her adam’s apple bobbing with each gulp made you inhale deeply, constricting your air supply as you looked away. Waiting for her to let out a breath to signify she’d stopped. When she did, you looked back to find stains and droplets of blood running down her chin with a few being lost on her lip. “I knew your father because we worked together for a few years,” she said, wiping her face with a napkin. “Now, you were too young and I avoided alerting you of my presence. But I was there and I’ve always been there, Y/n.”

A chuckle slipped past your lips, running a hand over your face. “Ok, so you want me to believe that my father worked with you? A vampire?” You questioned, scoffing in disbelief. “You must think I am stupid to believe.”

“No, you’re a brat that I have to tame till you understand that we’re inseparable,” Natasha stated. “Did you ever wonder why you have that birthmark in the center of your hand? That was when I first saw you. The first time I saw your future and knew what would come to be.” She stood to her feet, slowly making her way around the desk. “Everything up to this moment has been played on repeat in my head for the years I’ve watched you grow into this beautiful woman that was sworn to be mine.”

“You’re fucked up,” you told her, an incredulous etched on your face.

Natasha shrugged, stuffing her hands in her pockets as she leaned on the end of her desk. “Or I am a lonely woman looking for something that might bring some light to my life,” she replied simply. “I know you better than you know yourself, Y/n. I know your schedule, I know the way you like your eggs, I know the way you like your hair done–Fuck, I know the way you liked to be fucked.”

That made you inhale sharply, trying to contain the warmth that nestled under your skin. Finding her staring at you amused, lips matching the same emotion. “And I also know that since you walked in here and saw me, there has been a specific scent radiating from you.” She pointed her finger to the apex of your legs, tongue pressing to one of her canines. “From there.”

You stepped back, slightly embarrassed. Again, there was no doubt Natasha was attractive. But all her previous statements, all her knowledge about you created this flame in your chest that felt unnatural and different from everything else. No guy or woman had been able to give you this and it frightened you honestly. And something about the way that she showed love from a distance and watched you do so many things that could’ve thrown her over the edge, making her presence known to you, was intoxicating to dream about.

“It’s getting stronger, darling.” Her words made you blink, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Get a handle on yourself or I’ll do it for you.”

And for the first time tonight or since you picked up this case, there wasn’t fear. You met the source of all those uneasy feelings you felt in the dark. All the whispers on the back of your neck. The feather-like touches on your legs when you slept. The safety and protection in public or in any case that had your life in the balance. You stood in front of it and you felt no fear, only connection.

That’s why when a hint of a smile appeared on your face, Natasha finally had you.

“Try me.”

You couldn’t think.

You couldn’t breathe.

You couldn’t speak.

But, God, you loved every single moment of this.

Natasha had promptly laid you across her desk. Not even attempting to pamper you with some loving touches or her lips where you needed her. Instead, she ripped your pants off and made way for her fingers to glaze over your drenched heat. Getting her fingers nice and soaked before she pressed her fingers past your fluttering cunt where you cried and whined.

The burning contrast of the warm desk versus Natasha’s cold hands put you in a hyper-aware state. Trying to shake the shivers from your ebony skin whilst trying to feel the tiniest bit of heat. From her one hand grabbed at your breasts, while the other was lost between your legs, fingers deep inside of you and never failing to make you cry out in bliss.

You were on cloud nine. Trying to focus on every touch and sound that came from Natasha, but her fingers sucked the soul out of you. Leaving nothing but a brainless and powerless toy she could have her way with.

“Looks like I broke you, love,” she laughed watching the drool slip from the corner of your parted lips. Eyes rolled back with breathless moans unapologetically filling the empty space of her office. Your ebony skin is covered in the marks of her red lipstick from her kisses to somehow enhance your orgasms. But now, it seemed like you were on the brink of going numb, and she liked it that way.

There’d been too many times she’d seen you be a brat and she needed to change that sooner than later.

“M-M-Mommy!” You cried, nails digging deep into the vampire’s sides as your back arched off the desk from the specific curl of her fingers, triggering that fast approach of your orgasm. But the tittle stirred something in Natasha, igniting her crimson eyes to brighten in their colour.

She leaned down, beginning to pant with her eyes focusing on your pulse point. She could see the glow beneath your flesh and how it flashed with each rapid beat of your heart. Natasha swallowed the lump in her throat, salivating as she leaned in closer. “Can I have a taste?” She inquired, feeling your hands finger her hair. Gently tugging her away, not enough that could remove her fully create distance, but she could feel the desperation building in her stomach. You were practically dangling a toy in her face, tempting her with bliss. “Please, let me have a taste.”

Almost like your goal was to make her beg, you pulled her closer and she latched on. The pain grounded you for a few moments, sobbing out before her fingers curled again, slicing the knot in your stomach and making you climax. Both the pain and orgasm sent rapid waves of emotion through your body as you whined, quivering beneath her large frame. Legs curled around Natasha’s waist as you felt the energy in your body slowly be sucked away. Able to let a small smile appear feeling Natasha shake slightly, whimpers muffled from your flesh.

By the time Natasha pulled away, you were panting, your body pale and weak. She stood to her full height, tilting her head with those beautiful crimson eyes staring down at you. How you looked was absolutely perfect, but what you saw might just be better. With the candle lighting, you were able to faintly see the features of her face above her lips. Her eyes shone through the darkness like a beacon of hope. But her lips were drenched in your blood. Her teeth were stained with droplets running down to her chin where they dropped and hit her sensitive body. And even through all of this, that same damn dress jacket was worn.

She smiled, humming with her tongue flicking out, running across her lips. “Mommy has a new treat.”

#vampire au #vampire!natasha romanoff #vampire!natasha romanoff x black!reader #vampire!natasha romanoff x black!fem!reader #natasha romanoff x black!reader #natasha romanoff x black!fem!reader #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff imagine #x reader #x black!fem!reader #x black reader #x black!reader #x black fem reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff angst #x poc reader #poc reader #natasha romanoff x black fem reader #natasha romanoff x black reader

[richardsthirdnipple]

At this point I think as a fandom, we've lost some of the crackship charm we once had. I can look up Ashara Dayne and Ser Davos and find results, But Nettles and Helaena have nothing. It's time to rectify that for my favourite girl and try to inspire some fanfics. Feel free to add more.

1. Daeron and Nettles

Think Enemies to Lovers, Captive of War drama like Jaime and Brienne or just some good old Gwen and Arthur-inspired love. Ivy by Taylor Swift coded, a She's all that inspired affair. I genuinely think that he's just trying to be there for her with this one. It happens and neither of them realise until You're in Love starts playing.

2. Baela and Nettles.

They would give the pot calling the kettle black in every argument. The Princess Bride-esque dynamic between them. Very Graham and Megan from but I'm a Cheerleader. Sapphic Pinning and Resentment should be its own genre. Sir Chloe's Michelle is my vision. We can even make a throuple with them and Jace or Alyn. Truly, I think they but heads until they kiss, building on resentment. I also think they would be the coolest couple.

3. Addam and Nettles

Kaz and Inej core.

But in all seriousness, I think Addam being loyal and Duty bound and Nettles challenging that idea is delicious. Solider of Duty x Solider for the People. A modern-day Persuasion story but gender-flipped if we put our minds to it. See you Again Kali Uchis and Tyler the Creator, that's all.

4. Nettles and Helaena

They just deserve better. That's all. Give me cottagecore sapphic romance with my best girls involves. Like the young lesbians from Barbie and the Diamond Castle. Lesbians raising kids together. Sheepstealer and Dreamfyre hatching eggs for the nieces and nephews. I just-

It would be so cool, I will by Mitski sentiment is already attached.

5. Alyn and Nettles

Now that we are here obviously she apologized for Sheepstealer, she doesn't need to but she did, He tries not to like her but can't help it. She wins him over and they hatch him an egg or something idk. Think The Princess Diaries: Royal Engagement, Mia and Nicholas, Flipped the movie if you will. Jealously plots would slay. For the song choice think Shameless Camila Cabello. Please remember that Alyn is younger than Netty by 3/4 years though.

6. Rhaena and Nettles

See now this is classic Friends to Lovers, Emma and Harriet if gay, perhaps, Bend it Like Beckham core definitely. Sofia by Clario inspired. Nettles doesn't leave Rhaena out because she's without a dragon and the same happens inverse. Sapphic confusion however, like Rhaena doesn't understand at first why she feels that way.

7. Nettles and Jace.

Now for the Mr Knightley and Emma Woodhouse of our time, the Kate and Anthony of Westeros. The potential for her just not listening to him when he tries to tell her how to ride a dragon. Or when she talks to him about the people he'll rule over eventually, Ygritte and Jon style. She's also the only bastard who doesn't look Targaryen, he can relate to that a bit. I think she's Fierce and he's Stubborn. Ungodly Hour by Chloe x Halle for them.

8. Nettles and Alys.

The Fire Witches of Westeros. I think they will be perfect as a ship. American Horror Story-esque characters. The two Witches in the story are obviously my favourites. It would be Jennifer's Body meets, the craft meets, and Suspiria. Willow by Taylor Swift becomes them.

This one was also a bonus more or less.

Anyways I just need to start to get a baseline story for my girl by the time the show gives her to us. So we have a general sense of direction, I'm tired of the mischaracterization of my baby. She's smart, resourceful, Cunning, Fearless, and not entirely loyal. She also curses, enough for it to be a character trait. Please remember this for her, I'm tired. I also know that Daemon loved her but she's too much fun as a character to limit her to him romantically in all her fanfictions, it is an interesting narrative to explore while we don't have exact answers but he gets romantic ships with anyone. She deserves more.

#a song of ice and fire #house of the dragon #hotd #nettles #nettles asoiaf #netty #daeron targaryen #baela targaryen #addam velaryon #helaena targaryen #alyn velaryon #rhaena targaryen #rhaena of pentos #jacerys velaryon #jacaerys velaryon #alys rivers #nettles x rhaena #nettles x baela #nettles x daeron #nettles x jacaerys #nettles x addam #nettles x alyn #nettles x alys rivers #nettles x helaena #nettles crackships

[imjust-a-funnysimp]

Tolerate it

Okay, so hi! I've been debating if I should post this or not for a really long time but I've finally decided to it, anyway, this is my first time writing and actually posting a fic so sorry if it sucks, also english is not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes. I was listening to tolerate it on repeat and wanted to be sad so I made this.

Content Warnings: This is just sad lol, no happy ending, feeling unworthy and like a second choice, mentions of drinking, and overall sadness (If there's something else plese let me know)

Your life hasn't always been easy, a constant sequence of downs and lowers, never having anything worth fighting for. It was hard to just watch life pass you by when you had nothing to look forward to, but you kept pushing despite every adversity, every fall and every challenge, you didn’t even know why you kept going, but there was this involuntary pull to it. That was, until Spencer showed up.

It was just another day at work, giving books recommendations, checking people’s purchases and keeping the store organized. You were in the back when he arrived, too distracted to even hear the bell indicating a new customer, too lost in thoughts to notice the tall man walking among the shelfs, only really seeing him during his check out, finally noticing his messy hair, sparkling eyes and sweet smile.

“This is a really good choice.”

“You think? It’s my first try with this author.” His voice sounded a little insecure and topped with an awkward smile.

“If you want I can help find his best ones” 

“Could you? That would be great actually!”

 It was a simple and a bit awkward first interaction, and even though you thought he was adorable and you wanted nothing more than to get to know him better, you knew that interaction would probably be all you would get. But he came back, almost every Friday at 6pm. With time the conversation got easier and easier, and with every new thing you learned about him you’d find yourself falling more and more for Dr. Spencer Reid, and before you noticed you were going to your first date.

Spencer was like a ray of hope in your tragic play of a life, always making everything better, giving you little notes with the coffee he would bring you almost every morning, calling you when he was away to ask about your day and giving you the love and attention you had never had in your life. It was like you finally found out why you kept going despite everything, why you had never given up, you were meant to find him, to love him. The first two months of your relationship were like a cheesy movie, all those things you mocked about romance novel’s your entire life happening to you and changing the way you saw everything all at once.

❧

When you look back now you think the signs had always been there, you were just too in love to notice them at first.

You were together for seven months when you met the team, of course you had heard everything about them, especially  JJ, everything about JJ. 

You always tried not to let it get to you, she was Spencer's best friend after all, had been for years now, she was the mother of his godson for god’s sake, he would obviously talk about her. It was just the way he did so, so enthusiastically, with so much love and admiration, and ever so often that would make you think that maybe there was something more to it. 

The worst was always when he would find a way to compare the two of you, when you tried to make his favorite dish and he spent hours talking about that was her speciality, the time you told something funny that happened at work and he used it as way to tell what Jennifer had done during a meeting, or even the time you messed up his coffee and he slipped saying JJ would never do something like that, of course he immediately noticed and tried to fix it with a “only because she knows me for so long”. 

You tried not to give in to your paranoia but it was hard, especially right now, when you were sitting in the corner, watching the way he would throw his head back laughing about something she said, the way he would instinctively reach for her while talking, but nothing compared with the way he looked at her, like she was the only one there, like the rest of the world didn’t even existed, you knew that look, it was exactly how you looked at him.

“What are you doing sitting here all by yourself sweet pie?” Penelope’s voice brought you back to reality, forcing you to put a fake smile on your face.

“Just taking a break, gathering up energy you know.”

She sat by your side with drinks and a wide smile, immediately following your eyes to see what had got your attention. 

“They have always been like this you know, it’s just how they are, JJ always had this instinct to take care of everyone around her, and Reid is just, something about him just screams ‘take care of me’ you know.” 

“Oh, I know, he told me everything possible about her.” 

You didn’t mean to sound so bitter, or maybe you did, with the alcohol in your system and all the feeling you had been bottling up there was no way of knowing for sure. 

“So he told you that it didn’t work out right?” Penelope was so involved in trying to make you feel better that she didn't notice the confused look on your face. “I mean, he did liked her, really liked her, but it wasn’t like that for JJ, that’s why their date didn’t worked out.”

Pieces started falling into place in your head, you could see everything coming together, he liked her, probably loved her for the looks of it, he tried to make it work, god he wanted that, you weren’t crazy. Penelope’s face dropped when she realized he hadn’t shared that information with you. 

“Oh honey, no… That’s in the past for b-”

“Do you think maybe it’s still there? For him at least?”

“No, absolutely not, Reid loves you, he really does. I’m sorry, if I knew you had questions about it I would’ve never told you this.” 

It took about fifteen minutes to convince Garcia you were fine, that it wasn’t her fault and listen to all of her reasons of why she knew for sure Spencer loved you. You didn’t know what else to do to calm the sweet woman in front of you, so you did the last thing you wanted, stood up and offered your hand saying you needed to dance the alcohol off your system or something like that. It turned out to be actually a good thing, got you off your head for a while, just having fun with her, Emily and Derek who had joined the two of you, you were able to forget it all until it was time to leave. 

On the way home you decided to ask Spencer about what Penelope has told you, it was the first time you fought, he got all defensive, especially when you confronted him about his feelings, and when you told everything that bothered you about the situation he just brushed it off like it was all in your head. 

When you were in the safety of your home you allowed the tears to fall, because you had your answer, he never said yes, but the extremes he went to deny it couldn’t have been more clear. 

❧     

Things weren’t the same after that, Spencer acted like nothing happened and you tried to do that too, but things were different, there were uncomfortable silences instead of random chats, calls became something rare just like the little love notes you had gotten used to, he rarely invited you to go out with the team and the distance between the two of you was palpable. You knew it wasn’t right and it wasn't how you wanted things to be, you couldn’t spend the rest of your life wondering if the man by your side was thinking of someone else, but you weren’t ready to give up on him yet, even though it hurted to know that he would never love you as much as you loved him.

But he seemed to be really trying and that's why you had agreed to have lunch with him today, he would pick you up at work and take you somewhere he thought you would like, he had it all planned , every second of it, then why was he twenty minutes late? You checked your messages but there was nothing there, you tried to call only to hear his voice mail message, thinking that maybe he was stuck at work, you decided to surprise him by going there with some coffee and donuts. But you were welcomed by an empty desk. 

“Hey pretty girl.” Morgan entered the bullpen with a smiley Penelope by his side. “Looking for Reid?”

“Yeah, we were supposed to have lunch together but he didn't show up.”

They looked at each other trying to communicate without words before turning back to you, Penelope with the most caring and concerned eyes you've ever seen. 

“Where is he?” You knew it wasn’t anything serious otherwise you would’ve known, but by their looks it wasn’t good either. 

“He went out for lunch… With JJ.”  

Morgan’s voice was gentle, almost apologetic, Garcia was saying something but you couldn’t hear, your head spinning while your heart finally broke, leaving you with an empty chest and the most excruciating pain you've ever felt. Thoughts were racing in your mind going from a simple “this isn’t fair” to a painful “what am I supposed to do now”. 

They offered if you wanted to sit and wait, sensing that something was wrong, but you couldn’t, you had to move, walk away from that building, go somewhere you could breathe, why was it so hard to breathe? You needed to be alone, just you and your aching heart, so you choked out an excuse about having to go back to the shop, leaving the coffee with them and almost running to the elevators. 

You wished you had never met him, this isn’t fair,  you wish he never made you fall for him, this isn’t fair, you wish you didn’t love him as much as you did THIS ISN’T FAIR! Tears clouded your vision making it impossible for you to distinguish anyone in front of you, so you only noticed the pair leaving the elevator when you nearly bumped into the blonde woman.

“Hey, it’s everything okay?” JJ’s voice was laced with concern matching her expression when you looked up. This whole thing just kept getting worse by every second.

“Yeah, I-uh…”

“Honey what happened?” 

More tears spilled from your eyes when you heard his voice, the overwhelming pain multiplying from knowing you had to say goodbye to the sound you had grown so fond of. 

“Please talk to me.” His hands cupped your cheeks trying to get your attention, hazel eyes widened with concern searching your face for an answer. 

“Not here.” 

Your voice was barely a whisper and you had no idea how he managed to hear it, but he nodded and gently took your hand guiding you to an empty room. He was so delicate as if with the smallest touch you could break, he looked at you in such a tender way it made your heart ache more, if only he wasn’t so good and kind to you this would be easy, if he wasn’t so lovable, so… Spencer, this whole thing would’ve been easier. 

You wished you could find a different solution for this, that there were a way to save this sinking ship, but you knew there wasn’t, no matter how hard you tried there was no going back, you deserved to love someone and be loved in the same amount, you couldn’t spend the rest of your life loving for two because you would never be the number one for your partner. It wasn’t fair to yourself. You deserved more.

“We were supposed to have lunch today, remember?” 

His eyes filled with confusion shortly followed by guilty when he realized what had happened, he opened and closed his mouth trying to come up with something to say but you didn’t let him, you couldn’t because he would know all the right things to say like he did in the past months and you wouldn’t be able to end this.

“I can’t I- I tried, so hard, to keep going, to play along and act like nothing was wrong but I can’t do that anymore, I just can’t Spencer.”

Your voice was just as broken as you felt.

“What? What are you talking about? I thought this was about forgetting lunch!” 

“But it wasn't just forgetting lunch! It’s everything Spence! She’s everywhere!” It felt good to finally put your thoughts out, made breathing a bit easier.

“Is this about JJ again? Jesus we talked about this already!”

“No we didn’t! You brushed it off, you always do!”

“I liked her in the past, so what? I had lunch with her today, so what?!” He was exasperated now, running his hands through his hair and his face in distress. 

“Except it wasn’t just lunch Spence! It’s everything, the way you look at her, the way your always around her anywhere, how you compare everything I do to something she d-”

“I don’t do that!”

“Yes you do! And the worst part is that you don’t even notice! There wasn’t a single thing that I’ve done all this time we’ve been together that you simply enjoyed, there was always a comment involving JJ, sometimes it would be just a silly story but sometimes it was more, and god it hurts so much, to see that the person you love don’t love you the same way. I can’t keep going like this, I can’t pretend anymore it hurts too much, I love you Spencer, god knows how much, but I- I just can’t live like this.”

The silence fell heavy between you, he looked desperate with his messed up hair and tears filling his eyes when he finally understood the awful situation you were in. You on the other hand were calm, maybe for the first time in a long time, your heart was broken in a million pieces and you could feel the tears streaming down your face but your head was quiet, there was just this feeling that despite the pain you were doing the right thing, the pain would pass eventually and you would be stronger after, you deserved it, to feel calm and happy and loved, life had been hard for long enough, it was time for the next act, you felt it deep in your soul.

“Yes I love JJ but-” He ran his hand through his hair.

Love not loved. 

‘But it’s in the past’, ‘but I love you more’, ‘but there’s just you now’, ‘But nothing compared to what I feel for you’. Your head filled with possibilities, with things you wanted him to say, if he said any of those, maybe it would be fine, it would make the whole situation less miserable.

“But she’s with Will, and there’s Henry-” 

You stopped listening, only hearing a low buzzing while your heart broke one last time, but at least now it meant there was nothing else to break, no more pain to come. You whipped the tears away and took a deep breath before speaking.

“If it wasn’t for it, if she was free and decided to give the two of you one more chance, would you stay with me?” Your voice was low now, you were too tired.

“She wouldn-"

“Hypothetically.” 

His Silence was all the answer you needed, knowing him he had probably calculated all the possibilities of that happening, you sighed and reached for the doorknob with an exhausted smile. 

“I deserve more than this, my love should be celebrated not just tolerated while you wait for another woman.” You stopped with your hand on the door, looking back at him one last time, your voice stronger now. “I feel bad for you Spence, because my pain won’t last forever, I’ll get over you eventually. But you will be stuck like this, always loving a woman that can’t love you back.” You knew it was a nasty thing to say and really petty of you but you didn’t really care, you wanted to hurt him at least a little bit. “We are the same after all.” 

With that you left, leaving him behind, the pain in your chest would heal one day, it would take time but the wound would close, and that was okay, it was your life after all, you were used to it. You saw him trying to run to the elevator but it was already too late, you stood there giving him a little wave while the doors closed, you knew right there that a part of you would always love him, he showed you what love was after all, showed you that life could be good, you loved him, but now you understood that loving yourself was important too, and right now you had to do what was best for yourself. Sometimes you love someone but it’s not supposed to be, and that hurts like hell but it’s okay, at least you learned something from it.

#spencer reid #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #angst with no happy ending #maju's writing

[fa-dubu]

nightmare at green lake spoilers

it seems that identity is a theme for the event, how one perceives themself vs how one is perceived by others and some post-event thots

Blonney: has spent most of her pre-teen - present day trying to shed her arcanist side. the way she dresses, the topics and things she allows herself to seem interested in, and the people she chooses to surround herself with are all what 'normal people' her age 'should' be into. (like a metaphor for neurodivergency, comphet, or both) her denial is ultimately futile as she's still treated differently by her human peers and the audience can see that she still holds deep love for cheesy slasher movies. when she accepts her arcanist side, she reawakens her previously missing arcanum ability, but interesting enough, outside of Jessica, she's still going by 'Blonney' rather than 'Jennifer.' i figured with reclaiming her arcanist identity she'd go back to using her real name vs the name she goes by when she was trying to be as 'human' as possible. but it makes sense that you can't undo years of self-doubt with one life-changing event.

speaking of Jessica, her identity is based off of Jennifer's Best GirlTM - i'm only partially joking too. i'm not too sure if Jessica's ("see you later"/"but she's never actually 'seen' me) line meant Jennifer was 1) reading her stories to Jessica while Jessica was disguised as a deer or 2) reading her stories to the lake and speaking to her oc 'Jessica' and our Jessica was hiding and listening in. either way, our Jessica named herself after the heroine in Jennifer's story, salvaged Jennifer's storybook/diary from the bottom of the lake, then spent the next 10+ years using her arcanum ability (and leftover Zeno tech) to bring Jennifer's stories to life. Jessica was trying to be who she thought Jennifer wanted in her heroines: kind, gentle and sweet, with a hidden badass side (parrying the butcher's machete with a branch and then killing him with his own machete - just a tad bit overpowered jessica). outside of the shipping, i think part of why Jessica latched onto Jennifer so hard was that the 'Jessica' identity was the first one (unknowingly) given to her that she liked and welcomed vs other people seeing her and immediately calling her a freak. it takes Vertin for Jessica to see she could be more than 'Jessica the Last Girl' and 'Jessica the Monster'. i'm a little nervous about her getting recruited by the Foundation, esp with Madam Z's line about her arcanum ability being helpful for experiments, but if that means there's chances for her to show up in later patches or events...

(i'm assuming she was originally a regular critter living in the Green Lake area that Zeno experimented on? or maybe she was a regular deer they crossed with a critter to create a changeling? idk, her origins are ambiguous. the only thing we know for sure is that she was part of Zeno's experiments in the 60s-70s at the Green Lake base where they cultivated her arcanum ability as well as her ability to command lower-level critters. and when Zeno couldn't keep the experiments under wraps because too many critters escaped and damaged the nearby human town, they scrambled to dissemble the base and move to another site with Z's help. Jessica was left behind during the kerfuffle. then she spent years alone and misunderstood. man, her puppet play hit me hard)

i thought Z and Tooth Fairy's conversation at the end was p funny: neither of them really knew the 'truth' and were going off assumptions. Z believed the 'Tooth Fairy's brother lost all his teeth because he was cursed by tooth fairies as revenge for Tooth Fairy eating their brethren' story instead of the more boring truth: Tooth Fairy's brother had a congenital disease that caused tooth-loss. Tooth Fairy believed the 'Zeno Youth Force trapped in a nightmare horror and came back changed and violent' story Horropedia was peddling (which, i argue that she only partly believed because she'd get a shitton of loose teeth if the story were true and the thought of free teeth was too exciting to dig deeper into the story) instead of the aforementioned Zeno base shutdown.

it took me until the end of the damn event for me to realize what the 3 guy actors were referring to 😩

overall, i really enjoyed the event! even horropedia who was i expecting to annoy me as much as diggers did. i liked all the character interactions: Blonney and Horropedia play off each other well, of course Blonney and Jessica's cute moments. i wish there were more Tooth Fairy and Jessica interactions; i feel like the two could really relate to each other because of how misunderstood they are, but i'm pretty satisfied with Tooth Fairy asking Z if she could visit Jessica at the Foundation.

finally, blonney please come home soon bc i need to save for your deer gf OTL

#reverse 1999 #reverse 1999 spoilers #i went through the event so much faster than rimet cup lol

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hello sex witch! Long time listener, first time caller, love how you do the teaching you do 😄

I was having a chat with my (college age) sibling, and I found she might have some... skewed views on the morality of being sexual. Think along the lines of purity culture, with a sprinkling of religious teaching, and a dash of how legality/morality must be intertwined. I know that sort of thing can lead to some unhealthy thinking, and honestly, I'm a little worried!

This is just background for context, I'm not asking you to solve or even unpack all that lol. But I really vibe with your stance on sex-neutrality, and it seems like a good concept to introduce her too. Like, a lil'nudge.

My personal sex-neutality mindset was gained over years of life experience and internet osmosis, which is really difficult to condense into a "quick-start guide," given I've never really had to educate on it before. I mean, I'll start with the definition, but she would probably prefer having sources other than just me talking for hours lol.

So. TL;DR. As an educator, do you happen to have any resources you could point me towards on sex-neuteality? Books, websites, podcasts, previous posts..? Things I could pass along?

Thank you so much sorry for the length

hey anon,

this is a tricky one because, as you said, sex neutrality is something that comes about from a lifetime of nurturing influences. adopting a totally new mindset is rarely something that can be adopted by one book or video essay, no matter how good they are. this is especially true in the face of religious influence, which can be very difficult to tactfully circumvent without making someone feel as if they're being criticized for being religious at all.

just having a figure in their life (that's you!) who's willing to start and engage with non-judgmental discussions about sexuality can be really helpful for people unlearning sexual stigma, so congrats to you for doing the hardest work just by being present!

having said that, you can't do everything and a recommended media list never hurts. there isn't a lot of work (that I'm familiar with, at least) that just sit you right down and say "hey. here's why sex neutrality good," so I'm going to drop work where that's sort of a powerful background radiation.

Emily Nagoski's book Come As Your Are is a pretty great guide for cis women learning to get comfortable with their bodies and sexualities and, more importantly, the possibilities of communication to find a relationship and sexual style that works for them! I really like the way Nagoski normalizes such a wide range of different needs and desires while assuring readers that there's no "wrong" approach; it's very comforting! if your sister is a podcast person, Nagoski also has an eight part podcast series of the same name where she debunks myths and answers more questions about sexuality.

actually hi as long as we're talking about podcasts Kate Lister, a historian who specializes in historical records of sex work, has a terribly fun podcast called Betwixt the Sheets that's nothing but sex friendly fun. it's got enough interesting historical meat to it that it's not even obvious sex neutral propaganda on the surface; some of my favorite episodes have Lister interviewing other academics about Queen Victoria's dietary habits and Hollywood portrayals of vodun.

if we want to talk about the 101 of getting comfortable with one's own genitalia and reproductive health, I must point to Dr. Jennifer Gunter's Vagina Bible. Dr. Gunter has made a whole career out of debunking medical misinformation, wellness scams, and Goop over on twitter. I think she should be allowed to attack Gwyneth Paltrow with a sword but I can't make that happen so I can at least promote her book.

if your sister starts feeling adventurous, Dr. Lindsey Doe's youtube channel Sexplanations has been a formative influence on me and has years worth of videos covering tons of topics in quick, unabashedly enthusiastic bursts of information. this video where Dr. Doe talks about her own instances of internalized sex negativity could be an excellent starting point, especially if you want to discuss it together like a lil youtube bookclub.

for a longer youtube dive, Khadija Mbowe's ruminations on sex positive feminism, its shortcomings, and which parts they see as worth preserving could also be a great point of conversation, especially for someone whose coming into the conversation not identifying with sex positivity. caveat that they do link to Christine Emba's book Rethinking Sex in the video description and I cannot in good conscience recommend or fuck with that at all, sorry.

Angela Chen's book Ace, about asexuality, is genuinely so so wonderful, and I think required reading for anyone trying to make sense of any kind of sexuality.

Meg-John Barker's book Rewriting the Rules is a maybe a more expansive version of Nagoski's book, less focused on sex and much more interested in expanding ideas of what relationships can look like and encouraging personal expression within them. honestly I think that's a really important part of embracing sex negativity - more compassion and less judgment for yourself can lead to more compassion and less judgment for others, right? right, hopefully.

Jaclyn Friedman's book Unscrewed is a delight, and does something similar to Mbowe's video linked above by highlighting ways in which commercialized #girlboss "sex positivty" is useless and then providing instances of real people doing actual, tangibly useful and positive work. Friedman highlights everything from queer youth shelters to orgs run by and for trans sex workers of color to reproductive justice organizations; it's a great dip into a lot of different radical causes without (hopefully) being too overwhelming.

I hope this serves as a good starting place for a lot of positive conversations with your sibling! good luck, friend xoxo

#sex edventures 2023

[chushanye]

all my notes on episodes 44 and 45:

the Beth and Ron intro and "Ron...what are we?" made laugh while in a dead quiet bus on a border crossing while people were getting their passports checked and maybe THAT'S why the officer was rude to me

directly from my notes: "google lauren booger??? over the panrs hj in beetlejuice the musical, transphobic? okay i googled her ANTHONY WHAT THE FUCK"

ron sounds like Jennifer Coolidge in this episode

"Taylor walks in and looks at him a s i a n l y" *anthony losing it* "roll intimidation" -> i think i got a fever from how hard I laughed

*guitar strumming* "hold on Freddy's cooking" 🎵would you say a slurrrr. if you saw me in heaven🎵

listen you can't APOLOGISE away killing someone but Scarys grown as a person and Beths speech was very well composed

Taylor I love you forever (already rolling up sleeves, "you wanna go", stuttering over his words, the moment someone questions his dad's power) Freddy is a genius for this character

I relate to Normal painfully this episode. him welling up with tears and him feeling left out while people yry to comfort him in vain is like integral to my middle school experience

"schooled in jail" is so Scary of Link. shes really emo-fied them I appreciate that. I appreciate her influence.

i cannot get over the "chaos orbs" joke because everytime i just think they're talking about the fucking chaos emeralds from the sonic franchise

*crying* IM A BAD PERSON! RON! DADDY! -> I love Terry Jr charactarisation. I love how guilt has been eating him up. I love how he still loves Ron so much. I love that he still goes to his dad. I love them sm.

Ron is just Gandalf in the way hes an old man with wisdom everyone respects despite him making no sense sometimes.

I love Ron's charactarisation. How he tries to help Nick and "you lied to me kiddo" and how he's honest with Nick and fuck I miss Ron. Beth is doing a fantastic job.

Nick is so fucking cool.

Nick and Terry Jr were best friends? Was this established before?

ooh i love the just TASTY instrumentals as anthony describes the daddy magic

I LOVE NICK. hes so fucked uo and traumatised and he isn't exactly trying his best but that is due to the things he went through and he's going through so much but he loves Taylor even more and UGGGH the fuckign Close family man.

Taylor and Glenn interacting is always just Freddy going:

"if you found time travel maguc maybe you could pick me up and we could do childhood all over again" -> I don't want to hear ANYBODY say that Freddy's characters are one-note. He knows exactly who they are and exactly how to play them and they're endlessly fascinating to me.

Taylor and Normal volunteering to be kings of hell and getting themselves in a cage is so good. like from a character perspective. "fear. fear in talkors eyes. why did i open my mouth?" is SO fucking good. it does so much for portraying Taylors thought process or lack thereof. it does so much to paint how he reacts emotionally to things. Normal's desperate need for validation leading to him putting them in a dumbass situation? Taylor bejng blinded by what's funny/exciting only to realise too late he should think before he speaks? Perfect. this is so fucking true to teengehood I feel liek I've been both of them at some point

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #dndaddies

[maddyguru]

Jujutsu Kaisen's Spin Off

Summary: Gojo Satoru has a wife. And she's not bitching about how gojo mistreated her in many of those fanfics. But rather, she's the one who's mistreating our favorite gojo satoru.

Chapter notes: Yumi is Maddy perez. this story follows the anime and manga, (I'm trying), and when you read this story, just think of her maddy sllsllsls. Also, you're going to hate her lmao. A lot. And a lot of her lines are from maddy in the euphoria show, it will be referenced in italics bc i can see gojo being with a woman like maddy just cuz...

This story has a playlist. You can listen to it when reading 💞 if you can't access the link, lmk!

Chapter 1

The dress she wore didn’t even look like your usual wedding dress. 

Yuuji’s eyes were staring a little too long at the picture that was hung on the wall of his sensei mansion. It’s his first time seeing a bride wearing a see-through sequin silver dress for her wedding. And she wasn’t even covering much. It’s enough that her dress was see-through, but it’s parted in the middle, showing her skin and lingerie underneath. Yuuji expected her to at least wear a veil to cover her face. Instead, it was a diamond-like veil with crystals blinding people’s eyes. (Yuuji literally doesn’t know what accessories she’s wearing, but he admits that she’s hot as fuck).

 Gojo sensei look… normal. Just a groom suit, but he appears to be younger than he was now, a dark sunglass was his substitute over his usual blindfold that the 15-year-old frequently sees in jujutsu high. Gojo sensei’s arms were all around her waist and her back was pressed against his body, head tilting upwards showing her beauty. Like a siren, she lured him. 

Who is this woman? Yuuji knows what his sensei said earlier, but more precisely, who  is  she? Where she’s from? Is she really older than him? How does she look so perfect and sexy with those huge wrecks and big butt- 

“Who the fuck are you?” 

The pink-haired boy jumped, his head quickly spinning to see where the voice was. And there, right at the top of the stair of this mansion, the woman he was entranced by staring down to look at him. Her hair wasn’t in an updo unlike in the picture, but it was styled as wavy curls, and the length was directly on her shoulders. Her eyes were adorned with the most captivating graphic liner, and her lips were painted with a nude color that matches her skin and style perfectly. She’s as beautiful as Yuuji saw in the picture. If anything, she’s bewitching in person and her voice; Her language is so foul but her voice was alluring just like her eyes. 

Is he… falling for his teacher’s wife?

“I said, who the fuck are you?” She walked down the stair quickly, but her eyes were staring at him cautiously. Eyeing him as if he’s an intruder in her mansion.

“Ah, my lovely Yumi, the sunshine of my life! Whatever you do, don’t attack poor Yuuji Itadori-”

“I’m talking to him, not you.” 

Immediately Satoru went quiet. His face wasn’t showing fear because his giggles were heard when you walked toward him. 

Fuck, she’s heading toward him.

What should I do? Ok, Yuuji, act natural, act natural!

“Who are you, again?” 

She was eyeing him up and down, and Yuuji could feel her judging him closely. Her stare penetrates his whole being, and he could feel how he was shaking like a leaf the longer she came closer and closer. 

It took him a second to focus. He swallowed the lump in his throat and bowed. 

“Nice to meet you! My name is Yuuji Itadori. I’m 15-year-old and my type of woman is women like Jennifer Lawrence-”

“I asked who you are, you don’t need to mention your age and your daily porn flick, brat.” 

Stunned was his reaction. Damn, who would’ve thought that Gojo sensei’s wife is so…. Sarcastic? How does he live with her, then? The bubbly Gojo sensei and this sarcastic, Goddess- the beauty of a woman-  

“Are you opening a foster house now, Satoru? I swear first it’s Megumi and his sister, and now this kid.” She walks past Satoru and Yuuji, heading towards the kitchen. The older woman didn’t even glance at either of them but continued walking. But to Yuuji, she’s not walking. She’s strutting, “I don’t remember pushing a 15-year-old out of my cunt.” Cackling softly, the woman opens the top cabinet, struggling a little, and immediately chugs down her champagne. 

Yuuji’s eyes occasionally glanced at Gojo, waiting and undoubtedly, excited for his teacher’s response to his wife’s. 

From what Yuuji heard, Satoru was a part of a huge clan in the jujutsu community (he’s not really familiar with the whole thing since he’s new). If the sensei’s a part of a huge clan, then the clan must be very traditional-like. They must be practicing old Japanese culture and emphasizing the traditional ways of doing things; marriage must be done in Japanese style unlike what their picture represents. The way a wife talks to their husband must be respectful and head bowing down with traditional clothes on, unlike his wife,  Yumi . Instead of a kimono, she’s in her olive-colored robe and gold earrings. There was no obedience shown in her eyes and body language. Yumi, from his observation, is not a woman who’d bow down to any man. Not even  the  Satoru Gojo, the strongest sorcerer alive. Her legal husband. 

Instead of being angry and scolding her, Gojo- sensei grinned like a Cheshire cat and leaned closer toward the woman. 

“Is that an invitation to have another baby? I’m alright with that,” a punch was placed on his right chest, and within seconds, Satoru was flying across the room. From the kitchen counter to another kitchen counter. The brute force from her punch had him flying.  He’s thrown across the room. 

This chick is strong. 

Satoru Gojo was untouchable, from what he observed so far. How the hell she’s able to touch him? Is it a soulmate connection thing? Is it because Satoru is her husband? Could it be because she’s as strong as him? 

Damn. 

Her face was showing pure disgust. A few seconds later, she shook her head toward him. “it’s hard enough with two boys, now you want me to push another kid? Do I look like a cow to you?” 

So, they have kids? Where are they, then? Why does Gojo sensei never say he was married and had two kids? Nobody mentions the whole thing. Not Shoko-san, Yaga sensei, or Nanamin. 

“Ow, that hurts! Men don’t like physical attacks, Yumi- yumi.”

“Nor do men love periods, your point?” 

Before Yuuji knew it, they were walking out of the kitchen and he finds himself following because what the fuck was he supposed to do? This is not his house!

When they’re walking towards the living room, only then does Yuuji realize how huge this mansion is and he can finally see pictures of two boys. Twins.

They look almost 9 -10 years old. Side to side with each other. They’re spitting images of their father, the man he’s studying jujutsu from. The two boys have white hair and blue eyes, a familiar grins on their faces. Yuuji was excited when he saw the kids because he would love to meet them, given the chance. Where are they? Are they already sleeping? It’s already so late.

“Why is he here?” Now she has more of a serious aura when she asked this. The fact that he’s in front of her and they’re talking about him makes him nervous. Is he… bothering them? Does she want privacy with her husband? 

Gojo laughed, turning to face him. “He’s, my student. The higher-ups fucked his life up and now we’re hiding from them!”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “so you decided to hide him here? Without talking things with me?”

He was quick to disagree and chuckle at her response. “No, no, don’t get it the wrong way, I’m introducing him to you, not hiding him here.”

Yuuji wasn’t paying attention to their conversations about him, but he was appalled at how Gojo- sensei is keeping his life as private as he could! The older man is known to be talkative and run his mouth all the time, and Yuuji expected his teacher to be showing off his (extremely hot) wife to all his students. 

But maybe there’s a private side in Satoru Gojo that’s waiting to be explored. 

She looked at him for 5 seconds, and later, she smirked. 

“I know you for what now, Satoru? 13 years?”

“There’s more to this meet and greet, right?” 

She shifted her gaze to her husband, folding her arms the more she stared at him. 

There’s an eerie silence when they’re looking at each other and finally, Satoru smiled. That same cunning smile Yuuji always sees at school. 

“I want you to do something, Yumi. I’m asking you a favor. As a husband, I’m asking you…”

Her curious eyes studied her husband, and Satoru finally say it. 

“Please help me train Yuuji Itadori.” 

.

.

.

Yuuji turns to his right. He couldn’t sleep a wink, it seems. 

It’s been 2 hours ever since he was sent off to the guest room in this house. Even the guest room looked like something that would come out of a movie; so perfect with a clean room and bed so large Yuuji could sleep with two more people. Golds were decorated in this room, and he remembers gawking at the sight. 

Is Gojo sensei  that  rich? 

So many questions are running through his head. Like, when will he finally see Nobara and Megumi again? Why do the higher-ups are after him? And why did Gojo sensei ask his wife to train him? She couldn’t be any stronger than him, right? Or could it be, that they’re equal? 

He cackled softly with his hands on his face. Of course, Gojo sensei would marry someone equal to him. In strength, looks, and wealth. Yuuji is convinced that the woman he saw a few hours ago is also from a wealthy clan. She must be. 

How strong is she? Must be too strong to the point Gojo sensei trusted her enough to train him. Must be a special grade as well. Someone equal to him and that’s why she’s the mother of his children. Yuuji made his own conclusion. 

His thoughts were interrupted when there was a knock on his door. 

Who could it be? He wondered to himself when he got up from the bed and opens the door. 

“Ah, Gojo sensei, it’s you.” He muttered, giving room for the older man to enter. His teacher smiled; his blindfold is away from his face. Yuuji finally saw his beautiful blue eyes again. 

“Can I come in?” he asked, and Yuuji was more than happy to let the older man in. It’s his house, after all. 

His teacher walked into the room and later sits on the provided couch, staring out the window into the night sky, and finally turned to Yuuji, his grin still on his face. 

“I’m sorry about my wife. She can be a little mean from time to time. Heck, even with our twins she’s like that,” Satoru tee-heed after he shared some parts of his wife with Yuuji, and the boy can’t help but smile as well at the confession. 

If you defend someone like this, you must be head over heels in love with him, right? 

Gojo sensei must really love his wife, and Yuuji made his conclusion.

“It’s ok, sensei. I heard women are like that all the time!” 

His lips were quickly covered by the older man’s and he looked panicked as soon as Yuuji said what he said. 

“Please, whatever you do,  please,  don’t discriminate against women in this house. Especially not in front of my wife, she would kill you, literally.” 

A nod was Gojo’s answer, and the older man quickly let his lips go, the both of them were quiet for a while until his teacher opens his mouth again. 

“She agrees to train you by the way.” 

Well, that threw him off guard. Judging from the way she was looking at him, he thought Yumi would decline. But she accepted? 

“That’s weird, sensei. She didn’t even look at me when we talked,” 

“My wife has a knack for surprising people. She can be kind at times when we least expect it, you know!” 

“…ok?” innocently, he answered. 

His face apparently couldn’t lie. Before Yuuji knew it, Satoru explained to him why Yumi decided to take him as her student. 

“I told him you’re Sukuna’s vessel, and that you must eat his fingers. Cursed objects… that reminded her of,” the white-haired man stared at the ceiling and smiled but his smile was sad, reminiscing. 

“It reminds her of someone she used to know. I guess that’s why she accepted my favor. Yeah, it’s because she still couldn’t let  him  go.” 

Huh? 

“Sensei, sorry. But who’s ‘he?’

“Nothing, Yuuji! Now, get your sleep because best believe she won’t be easy on you!” Just like that, he was left alone in the room, curled in his blanket. 

Well. What was that all about?

The last thought Yuuji had when before he went to sleep was, that Yumi wasn’t smiling in the wedding picture. She looked far from happy. Shouldn’t you be happy at your own wedding? 

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanfic #geto suguru #angst #geto suguru x oc #gojo satoru x oc #gojo satoru #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen angst #maddy perez

[goldeneyedgirl]

AILess Whumptober Day 5: Held at Gunpoint

silence. (day 5: held at gunpoint).

twilight, alice/jasper, pg, post-twilight. canon-verse. trigger warnings: school shooting, mention of suicide.

This prompt was so cursed, I can't even. I just had such a hard time with it, but we persevere. It definitely ended up way longer than I wanted and like... it's done. It's fantastically wonky, but hopefully it works.

Day 6 will be politely skipped over for now, and we resume tomorrow with Day 7.

There are many, many things that Alice Cullen has never done. She’s never eaten ice cream, she’s never fallen asleep, she’s never accidentally cut herself. She can’t, but that’s beside the point - on the list of things and experiences she’s had in her life time, they remain absent.

There are million little things she never got to do. It’s not something she thinks about much; she’s seen and done and had so many other beautiful, wonderful, fantastic experiences that what she has missed out on don’t seem to matter that much. How many people get to dance barefoot under the Northern Lights? How many people get to go on long, lazy tours of entire continents without a single responsibility in the world? Not to have to worry about where their next meal is coming from? Or know that they can always study a different degree next go-round?

When she does get to mentally cross off a new experience, it’s usually with joy. The list gets shorter the older she gets, so new things are almost always wonderful.

But this time… well, she’s sorry that this will be an experience that she gets to cross off her list. More for her classmates than herself.

But then, maybe it’s becoming the quintessential American high school experience and this moment was inevitable.

(The silence is chilling.)

Study hall in the library is the one class she doesn’t have with Edward, Bella, or Jasper. She thought about changing it, but they all decided that having one of them not in class could be potentially useful to them - not to mention that it’s fine and healthy for Jasper to have classes without her. Esme’s always lovingly exasperated when the school sends messages home that they’re bordering on unhealthily codependent and maybe someone should look into that. This was a positive step towards looking more normal.

So she had kept study hall after lunch and now she’s sitting next to Nicole Casey who is trying not to cry, second-guessing her choices. Samantha Wells is two seats down and shaking perceptibly and every single one of them are staring very hard at their books.

She’s so very, very glad Bella had Bio with Edward after lunch.

(She can feel the ghost of her heart pounding in her ears as she tries to find a way out. But her gift won’t settle, as the future fluctuates.)

Forks is small enough that it’s hard not to know something about everyone, especially classmates - Beth’s mother has made several inappropriate passes at Emmett, Lee Stephen’s little sister has just gone into remission from leukemia, Jennifer Ford can’t manage to keep a part-time job longer than a month. Just useless nonsense that she habitually picks up for no reason.

Which is why when Kirk stormed into the library, the hair stood up on the back of her neck. He was always one of the quiet ones, slipping through the crowds without notice, coming into study hall with his head down and taking the first seat at the left-hand desk. He listened to angry music the whole time, and ignored everyone else. He was the occasional punchline to a joke, but mostly he was just another face in the junior class. Except…

Kirk’s father had been one of the workers laid off recently, when another lumber company closed up shop. A lot of families had been struggling lately, another closure had made things worse for the town, and there was only so much that could be done - Esme made sure the local food pantry was overflowing (anonymously, of course), the Cullens made regular donations of clothing to the church and the local thrift store, and Carlisle was volunteering for as many shifts in the walk-in clinic that he could get away with.

Work would come, she had seen that. By the end of summer, things would pick up again. But it wasn’t like they could tell people that, or that it made time speed up. They just had to wait.

And worry and stress created anger, and anger could come out in so many ways - like the men that lined up outside the liquor store and the one bar on the end of the town limits. The yelling and frustration towards everyone still surviving and thriving - they’d started driving Emmett’s Jeep to school, much to Rosalie’s displeasure. And the bruises that littered Kirk’s face, the way the kid hid inside his hoodie and glared at anyone that walked past. Jasper had visibly recoiled from the boy when he got too close, the distaste he had visible on his face from whatever emotions Kirk was emitting.

Oh, Jasper. She wishes he was here, so she could hold his hand. But she’s glad he’s not because she can practically feel the tension and fear and rage in this room right now; if he were here, he’d be suffering.

(Rob Sawyer is starting to wheeze, and Mrs Garcia is visibly crying. This is going to get worse before it gets better.)

“…think you’re better than me!” Kirk rants, pacing, the gun shiny and obscene in one hand. There’s a bullet hole in the check-out desk - a warning shot. “How many times, Sawyer? Huh? Since middle school?” Suddenly the gun is pressed to Rob Sawyer’s temple, and the boy squeezes his eyes shut, his lungs straining for oxygen. He is as white as a ghost, his skin waxy white, and it’s a long way from the boy that offered her a flower on Valentine’s Day last year because ‘Hale needed to know there was competition’ with a wink and a grin.

She’s waiting for the shot, waiting for the sound of the body hitting the ground.

Just as suddenly as he jammed the gun against Rob, Kirk moves on. He’d just walked into the library like a thunderstorm, reached into his backpack and pulled out the gun - a handgun, most likely used by his parents to ‘protect their home’. She hadn’t even seen it coming, because he hadn’t made the choice to take it out, to do this, right up until that exact moment.

She didn’t even know how long he’d been carrying it around. She’d never seen anything. She can’t even see how this is going to end. Everything is in flux.

Kirk’s walking round their seats now, reciting their sins and pressing the gun against their skin. Sara turned him down in middle school, Cole beat him up last year for some reason that isn’t mentioned. A laundry list of crimes that he hisses and yells and sneers back at them, grotesquely empowered to stand his ground now. She keeps her gaze fixed on the table. She can feel the metal of her seat bending where her hand is gripping it, and she has to take a breath and calm herself.

(The very, very worst thing that could happen is that Kirk does shoot one of them. Free-flowing blood… she’s intensely aware that in this moment, that will break her.)

He’s around at her table now, and she’s trying to brace herself for what comes next. She’s never had a gun pointed at her before - except for Emmett’s paintball guns; she’d been more mad that he’d point a paintball gun at her vintage Alaia, honestly. And Jasper has some vintage guns, sentimental collectibles, but even though a bullet wouldn’t do anything more than ruin her outfit, he’d rip off his own arms before he pointed a gun at his wife.

So this is new. Very new.

“Nicole Casey,” Kirk says in that sing-song voice that is unnerving. “The one who started the rumour that I pad my swimsuit because someone this ‘scrawny couldn’t have anything worthwhile going on’? Do you know what you did, Nicole? Do you know?” Everyone knows. It’s a running school joke. She’s heard from her brothers the absolute bullshit that goes on in the locker room; they’ll only intervene if it crosses over from verbal to physical, per Cullen family policy. Jasper might intervene with his gift if it’s appropriate but honestly, Jasper escapes the locker rooms like a road runner most days. Human eyes might not be able to see the scars easily, but he refuses to risk it.

The gun slides through Nicole’s hair and he leans over her shoulder. “Bang.”

And Nicole slumps in her seat, audibly sobbing.

(Everyone else is being evacuated. They can hear them; the hurried footsteps trying not to burst into a run, the tears and the desperation to be swift and as quiet as possible. There’s some yelling, people calling out for their friends and siblings, panic in their voice. It feels very far away right now.)

She feels very distant from everything that’s happening in the room right now. She wonders if Edward can hear her; the library is at the back of the school, they’ve probably evacuated everyone to the front in the hopes they can get the students off campus. She hopes Jasper is staying calm. She’s going to be fine.

The muzzle of the gun is suddenly against the back of her neck bringing her back into the moment, and it’s an odd feeling that brings up an entirely new scenario to worry about - if Kirk, who she’s never spoken with, decides to shoot her. The bullet will ricochet; if the gun is flush against her skin, it’ll backfire and… it’ll be a mess. A big one that will be hard to explain.

“Little Alice Cullen. The Cullens never give anyone the time of day. Too high and mighty to deal with us lowlifes.” The gun slides down the top of her spine. “Driving around in your sister’s car that cost more than a house. You think you’re just so much better than any one else that you had to keep it in the family rather than slum it with anyone from Forks. What’s it like, Alice? Huh? When you f-”

(It’s rather hypocritical for him to bring up their admittedly terrible cover story that she’s fucking her ‘brother’, after condemning Rob and Nicole for ruining his life over rumours and personal stuff.)

She turns her head slightly; his breath hot and damp against her face. The gun moves to jam into the space between her jaw and neck. She wishes she was alone with him right now. She’s been a Cullen for decades, she knows how to stage a suicide with the best of them.

The library doors suddenly bang open, and they all jump; including Kirk. She knows that they’re all expecting Chief Swan or one of the police, and Mrs Garcia’s face is an expression of horror when she realizes who it is.

The only person who expects him is her. The fear and anxiety that have been pouring off her would be like a beacon to him. Edward might be able to read her mind, but Jasper will always hear her when she calls - even when she doesn’t mean to.

But the very easiest way to get out of this without bloodshed is with an empath. Especially an empath who knows how to manage people. In the right head space, Jasper could sell milk to cows.

And honestly, in any bad situation, he just makes it better. Everything is going to be okay if Jasper’s there. That’s how it’s always been for her.

Except… his expression is dark. Calm, but dark. Angry. He’s so angry right now, his fists tensing at his sides. The muzzle of the gun slides back along her neck to press hard against where her neck joins her head and she hopes it doesn’t bend.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Kirk snaps, and his other hand grips the shoulder of her sweater. “If you take another goddamn step, I am going to blow her head off.”

(Someone has wet themselves. She doesn’t know who, but the smell is distinct and she’s just so intensely aware that other than the librarian, she’s surrounded by children - sixteen and seventeen years old, facing down a peer, a classmate, a friend who is threatening them with death because he’s tired of life being cruel. She just feels sorry for them, the ones that will close their eyes and not be able to forget this day, forget the barrel of the gun against their skin, and the knowledge that they might never get to say good bye to everyone they love.)

“You’re going to put the gun down.” Jasper’s voice is low. “Alice?”

“I’m okay.” Her voice quivers perfectly, she sounds like a panicked teenager trying to stay calm. Her hands are balled up in her skirt, and she’s playing the part perfectly.

“Get the fuck out, Hale,” Kirk has a slightly hysterical tone to his voice.

“Kirk, put the gun down.” Jasper’s having trouble with picking the correct flavour of calm right now, she can tell - the room is full of terror and rage. Their secret could be exposed. He’s pissed off that it was her class that Kirk chose for his vendetta.

“Make me,” Kirk snaps and Alice kind of wants to laugh. Emmett said that to Jasper once in the seventies over something. She can’t even remember what - a remote control car? Some gadget that they were both fascinated with. She just remembered that it ended with Jasper taking Emmett up on his challenge with the kind of swift and decisive action that guaranteed a humiliating defeat. One of those incidents that became family lore.

(Bella will like that story, she has to remember to tell her.)

Jasper’s eyes narrow in a way that sealed the deaths of thousands of newborns and humans back in the day, and Alice takes a breath to try and center herself. Having Kirk so close to her is uncomfortable - he doesn’t smell even fainting good, and honestly, other than Bella, she’s not usually touched all that much by humans; usually it’s accidental or incidental touching, not a grip. It’s very odd and she’s hyper-aware of him; she almost wishes he’d still been tormenting Nicole when Jasper walked in.

“You’ve made your point,” Jasper shrugged. “You’ve scared the shit out of everyone in this school, not just this room. No one is ever going to tell a joke about you again. Hell, they probably won’t talk about you ever again. And you did it without spilling any blood. You can walk away from this.”

That’s stretching the truth - Kirk’s going to prison after this, maybe after a stay in a psychiatric ward. A student can’t bring a firearm to school and go back home that night. That’s not how this ends. But it doesn’t have to get worse than that. There’s still light in the tunnel.

“Maybe I don’t fucking want to,” Kirk says back nastily. “Maybe I’m going to blow your sister-wife’s brains out.”

“That won’t end well for you.” Jasper moves closer. Everyone is transfixed. “Alice has never done anything to you, Kirk. Just put down the gun.”

(She can feel his finger shaking on the trigger. As much as fresh blood flowing is the very worst idea right now, having the bullet hit her flesh and explode the gun would end this quickly. She wonders if they can control themselves long enough to get out if someone starts bleeding.)

It hits her first; she’s always been especially vulnerable to his gift - maybe because she knows it so intimately, knows that it’s him, that she lets it happen. But she’s suddenly so calm and peaceful that she visibly relaxes. Everything is going to be okay.

Kirk’s breathing changes, and then the gun is falling away from her body and he is stepping backwards.

“The gun, Kirk.” Jasper’s voice isn’t kind, but it is firm, and she watches Kirk hold it out and maybe she holds her breath that he doesn’t change his mind at the last moment and fire it at Jasper.

Jasper’s hands close over it and she lets out a breath, closing her eyes for a moment, as Kirk drops to the ground and he begins to cry. There’s no pity in her for him right now; just relief for the others. Gratitude that her husband always has her back and is, at heart, a hero. She watches as he disassembles the gun with the intention of unloading it.

The bullets fall like rain onto the carpeted floor, and Jasper tosses the gun behind the check-out desk, and that’s when everyone comes back to life, scrambling faster than they can get their bodies to move. There’s yelling and tears and they all run, Kirk still sobbing on the floor.

She expects Jasper to take her hand, to pull her along with him into the hallway, to quietly get their stories straight so that she doesn’t have to go to hospital or talk to the police. Except he doesn’t.

He pulls her into the kind of hug that feels desperate and relieved. He’s wrapped around her like she might actually have gotten hurt, like he was actually worried for her, terrified of the outcome.

“We need to go,” she says, and he grunts his assent, but he doesn’t immediately move away. And when he finally does, he keeps one arm around her as they move through the school - no debrief, no instructions. Just the two of them hurrying outside to join the chaos.

(There’s a local news station there, and she’s relieved that they waited to leave the building, because no one really notices them slipping out to join the crowds; the police pushing past both of them to get inside and find Kirk.)

“We should have taken the gun,” she says as Jasper leads her away, towards where she can see their siblings sitting on the Jeep, waiting; Edward’s holding his phone to his ear, probably speaking with Esme or Carlisle. “We shouldn’t have left it with him.”

“I don’t care.” Jasper’s words are ice cold - and clairvoyant because seconds later, they all hear a gunshot ring out and when she gasps and turns to look around, he just wraps his arms around her protectively and keeps her moving towards their family.

(She sees Charlie, looking tired and angry; he makes eye contact with her and nods but doesn’t come over. She knows at some point, Charlie is going to come looking for her and Jasper - once he’s interviewed all the other students and Mrs Garcia, and finds out that they were right in the middle of this mess.)

She’s not really sure about getting home - she knows that she was bundled into the backseat with Jasper next to her; that Edward and Bella are following in Bella’s truck. She knows that Jasper has his arms around her the entire time, and that she’s never felt a tiredness like this before. Rose and Emmett keep looking at her in the backseat with these solemn expressions, like she’s going to keel over at any moment. And yeah, she did fuck up - she never should have missed that a student was carrying a gun around school, especially with Bella around. But she doesn’t want to think about that right now, and she doesn’t want anyone else to point that out either. She just leans against Jasper and lets everything wash over her, the conversation over her head indecipherable to her ears.

It all passes in a blur until she’s climbing out of the Jeep to find Esme there looking stricken, barely waiting for Alice to have both her feet on the ground before she’s pulled into a hug.

“Oh sweet girl,” Esme says, and she’s confused why everyone is behaving like she could have gotten hurt. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she says, but Esme hugs her again - a proper mom hug, the ones she reserves for really, really bad days (slips, Maria’s unscheduled visits, the death of a human family member) and it doesn’t feel like she’s really done anything to deserve it.

“I’ll call Carlisle and let him know you’re all home safe,” Esme says, pressing a kiss to Alice’s forehead.

Edward and Bella aren’t back yet, so she doesn’t protest when Jasper gently guides her upstairs to their room, and folds her into their bed, his arms tight around her. And it’s her favourite place in the world right now; the familiar scent of the bedding, the way they both curl together in their usual positions with her head on his shoulder. It makes her feel like the world has tipped the right way up again. Like maybe her mind was still in that library, and it’s only just caught up with her body.

“How are you feeling?” Jasper asks, as if he can’t feel exactly what she is. She smiles and curls closer to him.

“I’m fine. I think you’ve all forgotten that if Kirk had tried anything, he would have hurt himself,” she replies. “I was more worried he’d damage the gun. How would we have explained that?”

Jasper’s giving her a look. “What? Are you okay? I haven’t seen you that mad in a long, long time. It couldn’t be because you missed American History.” Jasper hates that class; he’s lived through the real life events and the class so many times that the course work drives him nuts.

“I found my wife held at gunpoint today; it’s been mildly stressful,” he says lazily, but she can see the strain in his eyes.

“Jas…” she says softly. “We’re bulletproof. There’s nothing he could have done to us.”

“He might not have been able to hurt you, but he had the intention to,” Jasper explains, his fingers stroking her cheek. “He wanted to hurt you, Alice, and that is… entirely unacceptable to me. I walked in there to get you - and you alone - out of that room because of his rage and his hatred towards everyone in that room. If it had just been us, I would have… well, if he hadn’t cleaned up after himself, I would have done it for him. For even looking at you while holding that gun.”

She shivers in his arms, knowing that he means what he says. It could have been a few weeks from now, with Kirk home on bail, or it could have been ten years from now, on parole and starting over. Jasper would have found him and killed him. She knows her husband, and he holds a grudge - especially when it comes to her safety and happiness.

“There is a special terror in the sight of a fire arm for a human,” Jasper continues more gently. “They end a life so absolutely… I remember the first time I had to shoot one of our animals, when I was a child. It was such a terrible moment, it’s been over a hundred years and I’ve never forgotten it. The same with the first man I killed in war. A gun is a heavy responsibility, a way of playing god, when you’re mortal. It’s looking into the eyes of death.”

“…and I can’t really grasp that,” she says finally. “Because I’ve got no memory of them as a human.”

“There was never any doubt that you would leave that room whole, I know. But there will never, ever be a time when I won’t defend you from someone that intends you harm, whether that’s some high school kid or some kind of monster. You are always going to be my priority, the thing that I protect over everything else.” Jasper pressed his lips against her cheek and she reached up to run her fingers through his hair.

She loves him, all of him - his single-minded focus, especially towards her; his determination, his practicality, and even his over-protectiveness.

And she knows that at some point, they’re going to have deal with the fact that Kirk killed himself because of their carelessness, speaking with police on record, with the entire school knowing that they were in the eye of the storm. All those little things that could expose them, that make them memorable. She’ll let herself feel sad for Rob and Nicole and everyone else who was there who can’t sleep without feeling the barrel of the gun against their skin.

But right now, she’s going to stay here safe in her husband’s arms and be grateful for the fact that no matter what, he’s always going to come running when she calls.

#ailesswhumptober2023 #ailesswhumptober prompt 5: held at gunpoint #alice cullen #jasper hale #jalice #twilight fan fiction #my fic: whumptober2023 #trigger warning: school shooting #i tried #it got complex #something a little different

[mermaidsirennikita]

Which are your favourite proposals in historical, modern romance and movies?

Omg, fun!

For movies, I immediately have to call out Crazy Rich Asians. The moment when the ring was revealed, I remember this audible gasp in my theater (including me and my mom). Such a great way to close a loop in a movie, while being super romantic and swoony.

Obviously, Pride and Prejudice 2005. I prefer the way Joe Wright did it not only to the 90s miniseries, but the book as well. The rain adds to the atmosphere and passion, the anger and tension is palpable, the way the mood changes when McFadyen goes "Mr. WickHAM", the almost kiss. So good.

For all that there is some content that hasn't aged the best, Colin Firth's proposal in Love Actually was primo. The language barrier was used perfectly, and of course the reveal that she'd been learning English while he was learning Portuguese.... adorable.

This is technically in a miniseries, but it's piggybacking off two movies, so I'll mention it... When Q tracks Shelby down in The Best Man: The Final Chapters and does a grovelprosal??? So good. Like, you watched these two, objectively the most caustic and like... edgy? People in the series, dance around each other with random hookups (and a secret baby lol) for years, and he finally has to completely debase himself in front of a bunch of watching women who are like, filming this shit, begging her not to leave... So fucking satisfying.

For books, I would have to say....

The Bride Goes Rogue by Joanna Shupe and The Duke Gets Even both have really good proposals, and neither one goes well for the men in question for very different reasons. Preston's in Bride is honestly a bad proposal because he's a broken human being who doesn't know how to accept that he loves Katherine and needs to be with her, and she's like "I deserve better than 'we should get married because we make sense and the sex is bomb'" and just sweeps out and leaves him like a broken man. Whereas Lockwood in Duke is completely in love with Nellie (him being like "I fucking worship you and am completely incapable of getting anything done when you're not here because it's like my arm's been ripped off or some shit" is.... amazing) and completely capable of expressing that love, but she cannot accept it. And he knows this. But he has to try anyway because he's SO in love with her.

Something Fabulous by Alexis Hall has a great one where Valentine proposes to Bonny when he's like, hiding in a tree or something. And he's basically like "listen it's Victorian England and we're both men so it can't be legal but I want you to be whatever a husband is for me and this is VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO EXPRESS". It's adorable.

Enzo like... grovelprosing to Gia in Mafia Madman by Mila Finelli is so deranged. It's like, a quick kidnap (that's their love language), a "I can't breathe without you FORGIVE ME", a negotiation of what she needs out of the relationship (a huge ring, a long engagement, maybe a vasectomy from him because she's not sure if she wants kids, and freedom to have her career) and him being like "YES FINE WHATEVER" because he's realized he needs her like air, lol. My beloved garbage people.

The thing in A Kingdom of Dreams by Judith McNaught where it's really less a proposal and more Royce taking Jennifer to the priest and being like "marry us, neither of you have a choice and I don't wanna be here either". And then he calls her a bitch. I loved that.

There are like... three? Proposals in Sierra Simone's New Camelot trilogy (one of which is accepted) and then sort of like an on the spot private spiritual wedding ceremony with what I guess is a proposal right before? And I loved all of it. There's so much angst and so much intense longing in those books. So many times for my boy Embry to get proposed to and go "I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH TBH".

OOOh I loooove the proposal in The Long Game by Rachel Reid. There's such a great buildup to it, and it's so romantic, and I also love that Ilya and Shane go from this big emotional sappy proposal to fucking on the floor immediately after. Good for Them.

#romance novel blogging #book recs

[fancy-a-dance-brigadier]

BEN SISKO PLS

Benjamin Sisko? More like Beloved Sisko 😌

One aspect about them I love: I love the capital P Presence he brings to every scene. He’s such a force of nature! Of course there are the obvious examples like ‘In the Pale Moonlight’ and ‘Far Beyond the Stars’, where his presence is literally jaw dropping, but I think he brings such a monumental force to even the softer scenes. Force might be the wrong word, but I’m thinking about all his quiet moments with Jake, his tender moments with Kasidy, his grief when he’s in New Orleans after Jadzia’s death. You can feel every inch of what he’s feeling, all the love and passion and rage. This is more of a comment on Avery Brooks than Sisko I suppose, but he’s easily the actor that impresses me the most in any Star Trek show. He’s such a privilege to watch.

One aspect I wish more people understood about them: That he likes to have fun! I often see him cast in fandom as the stern father figure to his crew (which is a whole other kettle of fish) or people exclusively highlighting his actions in the Dominion War. But Ben is capable of goofing off just as much as anyone else! His delightful love of baseball is the obvious example, but there’s also the episode where he built the Bajoran lightship and flew it with Jake, or all the crazy stories of his youth with Curzon, or when we see him interacting with Jennifer for the first time. And while he opposed the Vic Fontaine holosuite (for very valid reasons), I got the impression that he did end up enjoying himself a teensy bit during that casino heist.

One or more headcanons I have about this character: His favourite musician is Nat King Cole. Joseph would always have his music playing while cooking, so Ben has a lot of fond memories growing up and listening to those songs. And he probably started learning to play the piano by trying to play them by ear.

One character I love seeing them interact with: This is so hard to choose! His interactions with pretty much everyone on the show are so rich, but I think I’ll have to say Kira for this one. The captain and first officer dynamic is always an interesting one (unless it’s TNG sorry not sorry), but the fact of Sisko being the Emissary adds so many layers. Of course there are the jokes about Kira’s boss being space Jesus, but I really do think they have one of the best relationships in the show. Two scenes in particular come to mind - in the episode ‘Starship Down’ when Ben’s injured and Kira’s trying to see him through it, and I can’t remember the episode, but the scene where Ben invites her to a baseball game. Very different scenes, but I think they do a lot to convey how much they care for each other no matter the situation. But then they’re also trying to work through the complex web of worship and every day interactions and station hierarchy and friendship and ugh it’s just so good!! It’s so good.

One character I wish they would interact with more: Jennifer Sisko. I don’t mean interact as in bringing her back from the dead, or having mirror!Jennifer play a bigger role (which would be kinda cool honestly), but rather I wish we’d got to hear more stories about their past interactions. Ben’s grief over her death is literally what kicks off the entire show, and I feel like we should really know more about her since she had such a strong connection to the main character of the show. I find it very difficult to believe that Ben wouldn’t talk about her more to keep her memory alive. I want to know what kind of dates she and Ben would go on, the little idiosyncrasies Ben loved most about her, the things she’d do that would annoy and charm him all at once, and the moments where he was most proud to love her.

One or more headcanons I have that involve them and one other character: He’s in love with Julian Bashir ❤️💙 I’m sorry, I can’t help it - Siskoshir is just too powerful of a ship to go without at least mentioning. I saw that one scene in ‘Past Tense’ when Ben brings Julian breakfast and that was it, no thoughts only Siskoshir. I think I find that ship so compelling because, even though they appear outwardly quite different, on the inside they’re birds of a feather. They’re both so passionate about the people around them, they’re both dedicated to their careers, and they’re both strong enough to survive immense the trauma that’s impacted them throughout their lives. But then there’s also what they can give to each other - Julian can help bring Ben out of his grief with his relentless brightness and optimism, and Ben can offer Julian the warmth of familial love that he felt like he’d lost once he discovered his augments. Basically, they’re the best I think they should kiss 😌

#ask game #Thank you for the ask friend!! #ds9

[outrunningthedark]

I had a nonnie in my inbox who asked me to expand my thoughts on the sperm donor arc and when I tried to post I got an error, so here is the answer without exact context, ugh:

I'm glad you brought this up because it's giving me a chance to express my thoughts more...calmly, as opposed to the *screaming into the void* moment I had yesterday. I, personally, am not a fan of what the show has done to Buck's character since season four. To me, it feels like the intention was to go one way with his story (the therapy arc, maybe revisit things with the parents in s5 to officially move on to the next phase), but then...problems? unforeseen circumstances? changed it up. I mean...think about it. We get this "huge" Buck backstory, he realizes he needs to start learning about his past/accepting it, and then...two episodes later...here comes his former hookup who causes nothing but drama and she's not just a blip on the radar again. They're bringing her back to be part of the cast in s5. If you want my opinion (and this is not a slight on any actors because it is what it is), once it was realized that Jennifer was pregnant and she would have to be written out, and then the question turned to what to do with Chimney... Buck in healing mode didn't mesh with how the audience would expect him to react to Madney "leaving", so...why not let him self-destruct even more! The show abandoned the therapy arc. That's the part people are ignoring. That's the part that makes their arguments about "healing not being linear" irrelevant. There was no hint at healing beyond those two conversations (the end of 4x05 and beginning of 4x06). Shit happened and the show changed course. Very quickly. Skipping ahead to the sperm donor storyline...Well. I would argue that it narratively doesn't make *total* sense when we left off 5x18 with Buck finally doing something for himself by breaking up with TayKay. Maybe if it was TayKay who cut ties, we could more easily accept him still not being willing to listen to that voice inside that knows he's doing the wrong thing(s). Also, now that we know "radical acceptance" isn't supposed to be explained the way Buck explained it (they should have just stuck with "saying yes to possibilities")...I'm annoyed that his behavior is the antithesis of radical acceptance and looking at the show like "you just threw fancy words out there hoping people would call you genius, huh?" (Sad to say it worked.) It makes the fandom look dumb af, too, "He's saying yes without thinking! He's bound to backslide!" He's...he's not performing radical acceptance until he STOPS falling into old habits, actually. It's now a conversation that could have been avoided if they didn't use THAT exact term. 🤦‍♀️ (It's like someone decided they should use a word other than 'open-minded' or even 'automatic' and chose radical without considering it's a real phrase with a completely different connotation.) I'm not a fan of the sperm donor arc, I've made no secret of that. The timing of it (to me) seems like a way to appease the people who want to think of him as a father (because Chris isn't biologically his and therefore it doesn't count 🙃) since it's probably gonna be awhile until he has a bio kid of his own, if ever. But. I was trying to stay optimistic. "Well, surely, this is not gonna work out and he's gonna have a moment where he realizes his purpose is to build/be a family with Eddie and Chris." And by "not work out" I mean he gets rejected or the attempts aren't successful. *That* would have been my preferred scenario - he makes a rash decision, but backs out before it's too late because he's finally like "Wtf am I doing? This isn't gonna make me happy." *That* would have fit with him putting himself first. *That* would have been a way to expand on the growth we saw a glimpse of in 5x18. Now...there might be a baby? (Still allowing a 1% chance that it ends up being Connor's baby after all...) And as long as there's a baby, people aren't going to let it go. "Is Buck gonna have to save his bio kid when they get sick???" "Will Connor and Kameron die to bring up a new trauma for Buck???" "Are we gonna get Big Man, Tiny Baby because he gets to be a friend to the family???" And the thing is...I can't blame people for going there with it. As long as there is a (hypothetical) child in the story, the show could bring them up at any time. To some in the fandom, Buck should be capable of walking away peacefully from this situation he's found himself in, but the fandom is not in the writers' room. If the show doesn't have any "better" ideas, if the show needs easy drama...Buck's attitude could change on a dime. The saving grace is that this storyline is happening now when (I highly doubt) we'll get to a season where the child is old enough to want to get to know their dad. Because you know that would happen.

#praying the original ask doesn't pop up on my dash after this lol #tina speaks #tv: 911 #tv: 9-1-1 #evan buckley #buddie #(because they are mentioned briefly)