#please be kind to me

[tyuncat]

thinking about possessive but soft dom!soobin who gets jealous when you get physically too close (in his opinion) to the other members. you’re his treasured possesion and he does not like to share.

soobin, who pulls you back to him and anxiously fidgets with the hem of your skirt for the remainder of the evening.

soobin, who appears calm and won’t say a word but gives a death stare every time any of the members dares to look your way.

soobin, who won’t let go of your hand the whole way home, looking at you like you hung the moon and the stars, occasionally kissing your lips fleetingly and tearing up a bit thinking about the possibility of losing you one day.

finally soobin who touches you like you were made out of the finest porcelain and could break under mere pressure of his hands, leaving butterfly kisses all over your body, trying to leave delicate marks to show that you’re only his, without causing even a tiny bit of pain or discomfort. eating you out like a starved man, like you were the only thing he wants to taste forever. so sweet and addictive. tears of desperation forming in his eyes once again as he says "they would never give it to you like i do, they would never treat you the same way. you’re mine, only mine". and later falling asleep holding your fragile body in his warm caring embrace, whispering words of affection in your ear and making sure that you know he would never let any other man touch you.

you’re ruined for anyone else by him anyway.

#txt hard thoughts #soobin hard thoughts #soobin hard hours #soobin smut #txt smut #can you tell im ovulating #this is very soft and not exactly smut? #and touch deprived #more like sugestive #??? #can someone expand this thought please i don’t have the ability to #only brains #and imagination #please lmk if i need to mark this post in any specific way im still learning how to use tumblr #also english is not my first language so #please be kind to me

[asiogie]

personally i feel like dnf, hannah, sylvee team wouldn’t be op at all and could be called the girls and the gays and would also get a lot of views. just a thought for smajor

is this a safe space? my dream mcc pride team is dream george austin larray

#please be kind to me #ask

[sidekickvibes]

Are we still trying to assign Martin his title as a winner? Because if so... I think the Tower fits well. Previously we had The Sun, The Star, and The Moon, all of which are Major Arcana. And each respectively as a card represents the winner that it's tied to.

 For example, Grian, while upright The Sun represents happiness, and a strong foundation (often times looked at as a healthy marriage), but when revered it stands for unrealistic expectations (i.,e. Grian realizing him, and scar couldn't win together and that it had to be one or the other). 

Then there’s Scott who resembles The Star, it represents a period of calm, and represents stability and loyalty. It also represents creativity (which on a lesser note is so very Scott), Scott tends to be the one who keeps a level head, he is the stable one the ever-present, he is calm collected and loyal. 

Then there’s Pearl, who besides just the name there are many ways in which the Moon tarot fits her. The Moon typically represents intuition and anxiety and while The Star represents stability the Moon represents instability in this case it’s very Ying/ Yang, Scott who one through his allies and had very strong ties up until his failed Boogey vs. Pearl who was alone without an ally in the one game where she should have been guaranteed one. She didn’t have an ally until the very end and even then, it was a reluctant one. 

This then brings us to Martyn, The Tower. In a tarot deck The Tower is the most terrifying card, not because it means something bad will happen, but because something unexpected and unwanted will happen regardless of what you do. This I think is also the best way to describe what Martyn's relationship with the Watchers is, they are in his head forcing, begging, and demanding for him to do something... to betray someone and he was going to do it whether he wanted to or not. Some other keywords for The Tower being: change, divorce, tragedy, and betrayal, which when looking at it they all fit with him, he is Martyn the Loyal Betrayer, Hand of the King. He was the change that brought on the Red Winter, a fourth of the divorcees, and the devout who killed a god. 

#this probably doesn't make sense #please be kind to me #martyn inthelittlewood #limited life martyn #grian #3rd life grian #scott smajor #last life scott #pearlescentmoon #double life pearl #life series #3rd life smp #double life #Last Life #limited life #life doesn't even feel like a word anymore

[iambuggy]

Hi! Hello!

Doodle art requests for pizza tower?

#pizza tower #please be kind to me #aaaaaahh hahah heeehee

[noyoudidntbye]

I opened commissions! :)

#please be kind to me #it’s my first time #um #commission #commisions open #art commisions #commissions #my art #link

[chenfordsbby]

"The Pilot"

Welome to the very first drop of "Get in the Shop" !

Welcome to the start of “Get in The Shop!” The Rookie Re-Watch Blog! I am not sure how I plan on going about doing this blog, but there is no time like the present to start.  I have to warn that this is one of those figure out as I go type of ordeals; I have never done this before and I did brief research about the “dos and donts” of blogging, especially one of a tv show recap so I truly am just going to go with the flow.  I think I am going to post a new blog drop every Sunday and if I have any extra time during the week, maybe a Tuesday?!

If I try one thing and it doesn’t work, I will move and and try the next best thing with the end goal of having the best blogging/re-watch system that I can create for myself.  I am not an expert in any way.  This blog is solely a fan based one that I am choosing to do for my own mental health to get me, myself and I through whoever long this summer (plus) hiatus may last and if I happen to find friends along the way that will read my thoughts and interact with me then I couldn’t ask for anything better!

I think I will take notes as I watch the episode and then immediately following it, I will expand on those notes or should I watch the episode in its entirety in full and then type up everything I want to say about said episodes…

I want to preface the beginning of my re-watch by saying that I had no idea that this show even existed prior to me finding it on Tik Tok.  I saw a #Chenford scene from Season 5 Episode ! That was blowing up on TikTok and I immediately started watching it so I can obsessed over a new OTP without realizing Tim & Lucy weren’t even a though until Season 5.  So I did start it because of them but stayed because of how much I love this show.  

I am going to try my best to do this re-watch as if I don’t know anything that is to come in later episodes/seasons but I make no definitely promises!!

Let’s get into it!!!

Season 1 Episode 1: 

Title: “The Pilot” Original Air Date: October 15th, 2018

Synopsis: After a life altering incident, a small town guy (Nathan Fillion) peruses his dream of being a police officer.

First Impression of John Nolan: Eager

First Impression of Jackson West: Naive

First impression on Angela Lopez: Badass

First Impression on Talia Bishop: Out of Place

First Impression on Lucy Chen: Hotshot 

First Impression on Tim Bradford: Hot! #IYKYK

First Impression on Wade Grey: Seasoned

First Impression on Zoe Anderson: Authoritative

The episode begins with a bank robbery.  Which is fitting given there needs to be something to correlate this show with the premise of it: “A Silly Little Cop Show”.  John Nolan was definitely at the right place at the right time. Without knowing he goes on to become a cop after the bank robbery- you can tell that John has a passion for helping people.  You have to want to help people in some capacity in wanting to become a police officer right? 

The very first showing of The Rookie theme song.  It is a not even 10 second snippet of a full length song but man does it work.  It works so good that I am glad they never got rid of it.  There were shows that I watched in the past who had a whole opening credit scene/song which eventually faded out for it to just be a title card of the show (One Tree Hill I’m looking at you) so for The Rookie to have just ended its 5th season and to still have the little opening credit is cool!

After the cold open, the timeline jumps to “Nine Months Later”.  The first day on the real job.  No more training wheels, no more tests (so Lucy Chen thinks), no more papers and skills labs.  The beginning of the rest of their lives.

The introduction of Lucy Chen. She isn’t even clocked in for her first day of work and she already makes an arrest.  Way too cool for us or way too over eager to make a lasting first impression to everyone at the station?  Only time will tell.  But do you know what did make a great first impression? Her car!  Let’s hope this isn’t the last we see of that thing!  

I know we are focusing on the present but it doesn’t mean I can’t wish that we saw any kind of flashbacks of the time that not only John but Lucy and Jackson were in the academy. How did they get there? How did they excel or did they fail? What happened in the academy that John, Lucy and Jackson all became friends?!  It would’ve been cool to see!

Enter the infamous roll call room and the immediate jokes of John Nolans’ age. I really have no background regarding anything police related but I am assuming that someone of John’s age normally isn’t a rookie cop.  More so of the age of Lucy and Jackson.  So I don’t think this will be the last we hear of any ageist jokes of John Nolan and being a Rookie.  You can tell it is all in good fun and John takes it in stride. We all love our enemies to lovers storylines, but will there be an enemies to friendship between John and Wade Grey? This first episode shows no, but only time will tell.  We all have to be forever grateful to Watch Commander Wade Grey for playing the “Training Officer Match Game” and matching up rookie Lucy Chen with Training Officer Tim Bradford. (Thank you writers!)

The very first day gets off to a start.  The T.O’s teaching all of their boots the basics of the shop.  The ins and outs of the shop, what to do every morning, before going out on patrol to start your shift.  The basics and less than exciting aspect of being a cop.

Tim and Lucy. Or what we only knew then: Officer Bradford and Boot.” Lucy had no idea what to expect, not form her first day on the job and certainly not from her T.O. I think she immediately wanted to try to create some sort of bond/friendship with Tim but quickly realized that went out the window when he did his very first, what we all have come to learn and love, “Tim Test”.  “I’ve been shot! Where are you boot? I’m bleeding to death and you have to call for help. Where are you?” We will get back to that later on..

Side Note: I am trying very hard to pretend I have never seen any other episode besides this first one.  It is hard to compare Tim and Lucy then with what we know about their relationship now and just how their friendship progressed. I want to recap the episodes as if I was watching it for the ver first time.  It is hard but I ma going to do it!!!

Food Trucks! I never eat at food trucks much but do they officers of Mid-Wilshire make me want too!  The scene at the food truck was a nice way to show the two separate trios separately but together.  You have the experienced, veteran officers: Tim, Talia and Angela and then you have the brand new rookie officers: John, Lucy and Jackson. It’s smart TV. Yes this show is about John Nolan but it’s also about so, so much more.

You quickly start to see how much John cares about wanting to be a cop but in hindsight really has no idea just how to be one.  He thinks he does, mainly because of his age, but he doesn’t, not really.  All he knows is the 9 months he was in the academy. That’s it and it is evident the amount of training that he does need. He hopes he’s doing all the right things in order to succeed but in reality he is not: Using the baton to try to break the car window repeatedly even though it didn’t work the first few times; not putting on his gloves when going to help the husband of the domestic violence call- Blood Bourne Pathogens anyone?  Throughout this whole episode you quickly see how eager John is to be “a cop” but not HOW to be a cop. One thing is for sure is that John knows his way with words. The potential is there- it just needs to be taught.

The comedic relief of this show is introduced and it is much appreciated.  “I just got a disturbing video.  I’ve never seen anything so horrific..so prepare yourselves” said one Grey Wade and turns out it was the body cam footage of John trying to hop the fence.  There needs to be some light hearted fun in a profession where it can be serious most of the time!

I am immediately intrigued by this already established friendship between Lucy Chen, Jackson West and John Nolan. We already saw them interact in their work life so now we see them interacting in their personal lives.  It is a nice storytelling aspect of this episode.  The premise of the show is about the lives of newbie police officers but what happens after they clock out for their shift? And now we get to see it! The karaoke bar cuts right into the morning after where they make us want to believe John called the badge bunny and they spent the night together but SURPRISE! John wakes up to Lucy Chen!

(Please don’t hate me for what I am about to say)

The first time I watched this- I have to say I wasn’t turned off entirely by the brief relationship of John and Lucy. (Considering at this time, the romantic side of Tim and Lucy wasn’t even a thought, to anyone and that John really had better chemistry with literally anyone else). I am not opposed to have seen this relationship continue for a bit longer, if this was the only romantic option for either Lucy or John, I think I would have been okay with this relationship, I think it had potential.  John wants their relationship to become public and Lucy doesn’t. Lucy has every right to feel those feelings. Lucy knew from the start that no matter what she did in her career she would always have to fight for her place in the force where John would never be questioned twice for it and rightfully so: sexism. Talia seeing that little moment between Lucy and John at the end of the episode after the shoot out was on purpose.  It just confirmed to Lucy that she was correct in her feelings and reasonings as to why she wanted her and Johns relationship to remain a secret. 

It’s only the second day on the job and we already start to see Lucy’s frustration with Tim.  She quickly sees that Tim’s training methods are not conventional.  I don’t think we know that they are called Tim Tests yet, but outside of the liquor store, we witness Tim Test #2 and as Lucy is cuffing Ghost Head we meet an Isabel.  The Tim we saw is gone. The second he lays eyes on Isabel he becomes a shell of a person. The tears well up in his eyes and his voice cracks. He is no longer Officer Bradford, he is just Tim Bradford; a man that is desperate for his wife who he hasn’t seen in over a year. That does something to a person and Tim hides it well. Does Isabel recognize him at first? It’s hard to say but what is clear is that Tim is helpless when it comes to her.  I mean wouldn’t anyone who hasn’t seen their WIFE in over a year be, no matter what their profession is. He does exactly what she asked him to do: give her money even though its the last thing he wanted to do.  The quick glance back to Lucy? What does that mean?

You can’t have a cop show without actual action scenes right?!  And this one literally started with a bang!

I never expected Tim to get shot at in the very first episode but it was smart storytelling.  Tim’s first “Tim Test” paid off well because there was zero hesitation when Lucy called in Tim being shot. She knew what to say and how to say it and she did it with fierce conviction. It’s only been two days but Tim knew what he was doing when that first test was executed.

We didn’t see much of Jackson or Angela this episode in the field until the very end. And what a way to end this episode for Jackson, which left us all scratching our heads at the cliffhanger question: Why did Jackson freeze up in the middle of the field?  We can’t get all of the answers in the first episode and the confrontation between him and Angela in the locker room was a nice segue to what’s to come for them.  Not only for them but for the rest of the ensemble! It was a stellar first episode of the start of an amazing series!

At the end of every recap I am going to do an honorable mention that I did not discuss at all in my above rant as well an episode “peak” the high point of the episode, what made the episode great among other things and a “pit” the low point of the episode, something we could’ve done without and just a few random thoughts I need to get off my chest!!

Honorable Mention: The long sleeve uniforms!

Episode Peak: The introduction of “Boot”

Episode Pit: John Nolan’s Hair

Episode Rating: 10/10 (It was the Pilot Episode I would be a troll if I rated it any less!)

Random Thoughts:

I have never heard of Melissa O'Neil until I watched this show and it's safe to say my life is changed for the better now that I know that precious of a human exists. She was made a lasting imprint on my life in the best way possible. I will be a forever fan of hers.

Eric Winter ages life fineeeeeee wineeeeeee

I would love for these posts to be an open dialogue! I want to connect with other fans and hear your thoughts and opinions! What do you agree with? What do you disagree with?!  Is there anything I should change for my future blogs? I want this to be not only a fun hiatus but a fun thing for all of us to do together!

Until next time on “Get in The Shop”!

#the rookie #abc #John Nolan #Tim Bradford #Lucy Chen #melissa o’neil #Eric winter #Tim x Lucy #chenford #get in the shop: the rookie re-cap blog #Angela lopez #Jackson west #please be kind to me #this is the first blog of a 5 year series #its gonna be a long ride #I hope you come along with me #boot #hot sauce #I've been shot #I love this show so much

[breadcheekstete]

over here learning how to draw plus sized people for... scientific reasons (óㅈò)

#bread is shy #please be kind to me

[childoferebus]

alright alright alright.

Here it is, Binary Stars, in all its weird ass glory, for those of you who keep seeing me tag posts about it or like the 3 of you who are here because Chaumas made me some really sick ass art. I appreciate any and all feedback!

You have to have an account with AO3 to read it to try and prevent AI bot scrapers from uploading my work other places, but it's free and posted in its entirety.

#Please be kind to me #or at least make your criticisms good and funny #I've wanted to share it for a long time #but there's that whole mortifying ordeal of being known thing going on #that said #please enjoy #Binary Stars #my writing #You also have access to the partner piece Black Holes if you finish it #which is also posted to my AO3 #but do NOT try to read it before reading Binary Stars #anyway two books for the price of one (which is nothing because I'm not charging you)

[literaphobe]

9 more comments is insane!!just say you'll be dropping ch 8 next month and that's it

that’s how much I’ve been getting every time I posted a chapter early so far which is why I said 9 more in that last anon❤️❤️ some people are busier this week which is why I haven’t hit it and if u notice I said it’s 4 by the end of 2 weeks (since ch7 was posted) -> which is when id just post the chapter regardless bc i said updates would be 1-2 weeks in the tvl main author’s note depending on how quickly people read and comment!! idk if ur the same anon as the previous one but i never said i was posting the chapter next but rather a new snippet (coming soon!)

none of u are obliged to comment dw!! it’s just the requirement for the early release. because well. it’s an important motivating factor for me

sorry if anyone else misunderstood!!

#ask #tvl #i promise you I’m fully understanding of anyone who’s not caught up on tvl or commenting #it’s why there’s early release requirements and late releases which don’t really have requirements attached to it #it’s just like. numbers in MY HEAD #that’s why I didn’t tell you guys earlier but #that anon asked so I wanted to be honest #please be kind to me #im still human 😭

[starrynightnight]

ultragay oc moment (please ask about it i am physically ill rn its the only joy i have please ask about my critter)

anyway, might make a proper ref, might elaborate, might not

#oc #ultrakill #ultragay #ultrakill oc #please be kind to me #im not the best arteest

[iwanttobepersephone]

Remember how I got another friend hooked on Rangers Apprentice? Well, today he sat down next to me and excitedly told me that he sat in the library during the entitety of lunch so he wouldn't have to check out the book and read all the way up to chapter 6. I then drew these two things for him (ignore the top left drawing, that was me making fun of him)

#rangers apprentice #ranger's apprentice #ruins of gorlan #halt o'carrick #will treaty #funny #art #my art #I don't draw back views often so #please be kind to me #lol

[blugerine]

Aziraphale didn’t originally want to go back to Heaven when Metatron told him he could. It was the moment Metatron offered him to have Crowley be his right hand man that got Aziraphale to reconsider again. In my opinion of what happened in that scene following Aziraphale accepting Metatron’s offer, Aziraphale started thinking “What if I could make Heaven more like Our Side?”, and that’s why he was so desperate in trying to get Crowley to come with him. Ironically enough, Aziraphale wanting to go back to Heaven to fix it was out of love for the relationship that he and Crowley have, because “fixing Heaven” means making a better, more peaceful place for the two of them to exist. But to Crowley, he interprets this as Aziraphale choosing his abuser over their love (and he’s not incorrect in that belief but we’ll get to that in a little bit). What Crowley doesn’t notice is that, in a cruel and ironic twist of fate, Aziraphale IS actually choosing their love, but he keeps holding onto the idea of Heaven because it aligns with his innate desire to do good. So in order to mend the two (sort of like cognitive dissonance), he wants to replicate their love on Earth in Heaven in hopes that it will finally bring peace to not only their forbidden relationship, but also to all of Heaven itself.

Aziraphale’s logic makes sense here when you think of it as “hitting two bird with one stone”, but it’s just painful because he doesn’t realize he’s being manipulated by Metatron who gives him the false sense of choice. Metatron and Heaven 100% represent an abuser and an abusive household in my mind, and Aziraphale represents the victim that is torn between the unconditional love and freedom he feels when he’s with Crowley and the heavy burden of guilt he feels running away from a house like Heaven. We all say ‘that’ scene is when Crowley gets rejected by Aziraphale, but in Aziraphale’s mind, it’s him being rejected by Crowley. It’s why Aziraphale says “I forgive you” to Crowley after the kiss, because Aziraphale feels like he’s been wronged when he literally just admitted to Crowley “I’m choosing OUR love to make Heaven a better place, because I believe in the good will of Heaven, and good will is the core of what I am” and got rejected for it.

Both Crowley and Aziraphale are laying themselves the barest they’ve ever been in the series, but in the end, they both reject each other because they both misunderstood the other so. terribly. hard. And that’s why it’s so terribly painful to watch.

The best thing for the both of them to do is to actually have The Talk they’ve been avoiding for so many years, and honestly I don’t blame them, because imagine trying to unravel a millennia of abuse and the subconscious coping mechanisms and behaviorisms that came with it to the one you love the most.

This is my first ever tumblr post btw and I’m very unsure how anything works but please be kind to me, I am just. going through it with them and this show. and needed to post. somewhere. anywhere. shouting this to the void.

#good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #i don’t know how to use tumblr #please be kind to me #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens analysis #ineffable husbands

[musiccokeandfrench]

My October -

26 days until:

I stop working for maternity leave (thank you alternative work schedule allowing me to have a Friday off)

26 days left of having sex until I heal and dammit I'm going to make them worth it so help me God and coconut oil

27 days until:

I'm supposed to give birth

28 days until:

I can smoke weed

#My October 2023 #perhaps the biggest month of my life #please be kind to me #please be gentle with me #I could do six weeks without sex standing on my head but it's different being physically unable

[thirstydiglett]

Hey I think I’m gonna post my spicy softdom!Corazon fic if y’all are interested. Just have to write the last scene

#its my first time sharing fanfic literally ever #please be kind to me #should be posted by tonight #donquixote rosinate x reader #donquixote rosinante #donquixote corazon #one piece corazon

[xanderxone]

9/18/2023

Journaling Is Stimming

The moment I fell in the autism rabbit hole, I started devouring videos and the ones about stimming always seemed to grab my attention. One idea that was consistent across all the videos is that autistic people stim to release excess energy that gets built up in their bodies. It has to do with the idea of autistic inertia which I will probably make a post about sometime later.

I have always had what I considered to be an overactive imagination. I often get stuck in my own fantasy worlds in my head or replay conversations or fret about the future or fret about the present or get so lost in a special interest that I can think of nothing else. Wow. I actually spend way more time in my own head than I thought. And while there are times where this is something that I absolutely love about myself, like when I have to drive 3 hours on a long boring highway to my hometown to visit my family. Sometimes I actually look forward to just having 3 hours alone in a car to list to music and let my mind roam. But for the other 99% of my life, I need to actually be present and paying attention. So now I will be on the lookout for my tell-tale circular thoughts so I can just write them down and get them out instead. I've also started to employ a similar strategy at work because I often find myself in situations where I have a question about something that will probably get answered later but I just want to make sure I don't forget to check it. And I have actually started to just write those things down in OneNote and saving them to review later. AND WHEN I TELL YOU THE STRESS THAT HAS JUST WASHED OFF OF ME BECAUSE NOW I KNOW I WON'T FORGET IT LATER IS PALPABLE. I feel like I love my job again and I feel the joy coming back that was gone for a long time.

And so, dear reader, I think if I start writing down anything that gets stuck inside my head, it will be a stim and move all that anxious energy outside of me. And in turn, I will be able to harness a lot more of my mental capacity for other, more important things. AND I WILL STOP FUCKING FORGETTING EVERYTHING.

An interesting emotion that all of this is bringing up is one of shame and humiliation. And I know that it's irrational so I'm keeping it at arm's length to avoid being truly upset by the emotion, but it's existence is intriguing. God I sound like a robot sometimes. Anyway, I think its because I feel really dumb for not realizing all of this sooner? I do struggle a lot with depersonalization issues which I think has also led to me not realizing I was trans until... the same time I learned I was autistic. Look, it's been a really long year, okay? But I think all of the things that have made me incredibly good at masking all these years are the same things that have made me feel like I have a very limited sense of self. I think I'm gonna work on developing one.

One last thing: I always felt like a journal had to be neat and organized and pretty or else it wasn't right. And so I would spend all this time trying to get it perfect and it wasn't sinking in that the whole point is to journal your thoughts and get them out. And so I just felt like it did nothing for me but it's because I was dumb. This blog will be a way for me to stim when I need to get things out. And then I'll also keep a pretty journal full of pages of stickers and pieces of paper that I rip up and glue down that can be a creative outlet for when I need to get out creative energy (it's called junk journaling and if you are a little packrat gremlin who loves tactile doodads and thingies and art, you will love it. And all of the supplies are SO CHEAP online. Look it up on tiktok. Trust me.)

I feel like I might be getting an A in therapy.

--Xander

#adventures in autism #please be kind to me #I am but a goofy boy online #just trying to find his way #journal #diary #autism #self diagnosis #self diagnosed autism #audhd #audhd things #audhd ideas

[emptydoll21]

Today was a splendid day. The puppeteer was so kind to bring me to watch a play, and I was truly amazed !

Hamlet has to be my favourite play of all time, and what I like the most of it is Ophelia.

Perhaps I could see myself in her, but she's really one of my favourite characters, I was left to tears due to her story. This annoyed the puppeteer as he didn't like how emotional I was being but I couldn't help it when faced with such art.

To think that such a beautiful character was once played by men breaks my heart every time, perhaps the puppeteer just can't understand how it feels.

But I really need to thank him, without him I wouldn't have known about this play.

#daily life of a doll #doll #puppetry #poetry #puppeteer #vent post #vent #vent poetry #vent poem #please be kind to me #ophelia #hamlet