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tigertales9 · 1 year

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Calling Audibles

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Reader

Warnings: 18+ / Smut

Description: Going back in time several weeks here. The Bengals have started the 2022 season 0-2. This fic happens in the lead up to week 3.

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You raise your eyebrows as Joe pushes his dinner plate back without finishing every last bite like he usually does. "Not what you wanted?" you ask, giving him a worried look as he heaves a sigh. "It was delicious, babe," he says, his tired smile breaking your heart a little. "I just don't have much of an appetite tonight."

"You need to eat, Joe. You're still underweight." You stand up to take your dinner plates to the sink while he watches you with a bemused look. "You gave me a huge serving of food and I ate like 90% of it. Stop acting like I ate a slice of bread and a sip of water."

"Yes, sir," you chuckle, raising your eyes just in time to catch Joe giving you a heated look that sends a pulse of arousal to all the right places; you hold his gaze for several seconds before he breaks eye contact. "I, uhhh, need to watch a little more film tonight," he mumbles, dropping his gaze and picking at a thumbnail while bouncing one leg in agitation. You're glad he's not looking at you because disappointment is written all over your face; you try to keep your tone bland as you answer. "You've moved on to film for next week, right?"

"Not yet," he mutters, his nail picking and leg bouncing approaching supersonic levels. You shake your head as you finish loading the dishwasher. "You've got the film from the last two games memorized by now. You need to give yourself a break."

"I feel like I'm on the cusp of something," he argues. "On the cusp of full-blown masochism," you retort. "I hear you rewinding and watching the interceptions and sacks over and over. You know exactly why those things happened, no need to keep picking those scabs." He shakes his head in disagreement as you continue. "Those two games were basically your preseason; you were nowhere near 100% physically …"

"Those are just excuses," he interrupts, his jawline flexing as he grits his teeth.

Well shit, you think to yourself. Guess it's gonna be another lonely night; you spin around and grab a bottle of blush wine out of the fridge and pour a hearty goblet full. You'd been trying to save most of your alcohol calories for game days but fuck it. Desperate times called for desperate measures. You take a gulp of wine while trying to think of the right thing to say. "Facts are not excuses, Joe. Facts are facts."

He gives a dismissive shrug that tips your mood from sympathetic to aggravated. "Tell me how I'm wrong?" you challenge. He rolls his eyes before slouching farther down in his chair and dropping his gaze to his feet. You take another swig of wine then bite the inside of your cheek to keep from saying something you might regret. Losing had always been hard for Joe; he had a whole process he had to go through and there was no rushing it.

You take in his defeated body language for a bit before closing the distance between you. "You're being too hard on yourself," you soothe, tipping his chin up to brush your lips over his; you cup his face in your hands and give him a lingering kiss before looking into his eyes. "It's a long season. You can't dwell on these early losses."

"I'm already over the losses," he argues. You give him a 'boy please' look and he chuckles. "Okay, I'm mostly over the losses. I just feel like I'm on the brink of a breakthrough."

"Okay," you sigh, running your hands over the soft scruff that will definitely be gone before the upcoming Jets game on Sunday. No way is this man keeping 0-2 scruff! You give him another kiss before nodding toward the kitchen. "I made pumpkin pie bars for dessert."

"You did?" he grins. "I thought I smelled pumpkin pie earlier, but I was too distracted to really notice."

"You want one?"

He chews on his full bottom lip for a bit while pondering your question. "I'm kind of full right now. Maybe later?"

"Sure." You try to hide the fact that you're more than a little worried he just turned down his favorite dessert.

"Thanks for making my fav dessert, babe. You're so good to me," he says, standing up to wrap you in a warm hug. "I'm sorry I'm being difficult."

"You're not being difficult. Go handle your business." You give him a playful swat on the ass as he turns to jog up the stairs to his office.

You shake your head as he disappears from view. He'd slowly but surely been gaining back the 20+ pounds he lost during his ruptured appendix situation, but the last couple weeks seemed to send him right back into 'too distracted to eat' mode; that did not bode well for a man who was already underweight by his standards.

You take another gulp of wine and roll your shoulders to relieve some tension. Unfortunately, the 'too distracted' mode had carried over into other areas as well. It had been several days since y'all had had sex and, even though you were understanding, you were more than a little frustrated. You knew he felt like shit, both mentally and physically; starting the season 0-2 and being sacked 13 times while not completely healthy was a recipe for disaster, but you weren't used to going this long without him being all over you. You knew if you initiated he'd be down, but you were feeling weirdly self-conscious about it. Even when his knee was completely mangled, he'd tried to get in your panties anytime you were within arm's reach. "Something's different," you whisper to yourself, not really letting your mind go there before shaking off the negative feelings. "Don't overthink it."

You finish up some chores then scroll your phone for a bit before going upstairs. You walk down the hallway toward his office, stopping just outside the half-open door to gauge his mood. You notice he's moved on to watching film of next week's opponent; you smile to yourself before knocking lightly. "Come in," he calls, throwing you a grin over his shoulder as you walk in the room. "I talked to Coach earlier. He sent some extra film of ways we can try to beat Cover 2. I'm almost done though."

You watch his long, limber fingers manipulate the touchpad as he rewinds a play and a sizzle of heat rushes through you. You walk up behind his desk chair and place your hands on his shoulders, giving him a massage while he continues watching film. "That feels good," he groans, leaning his head to the side to give you better access to his throwing shoulder. "Oh yeah, right there," he breathes, hissing as you grind your fingers deep into his sore muscles. The film continues to play but his attention is definitely elsewhere. He fists both hands in his slinky black shorts and slides them up, exposing a delicious amount of muscular thighs. Your mouth literally waters at the sight.

Just before you have a chance to spin his desk chair around and get on your knees for him, his phone rings startling both of you. "Oh shit, that's probably Coach," he grumbles, reaching a long arm out to grab the phone; he sighs as he squints at the display. "Yep." He sits more upright before taking the call. "Hey Coach," he croaks, giving you an adorable grimace as he clears his throat and listens intently. "No problem, I was just watching film … yeah … for sure … I agree we should try that." He nods his head as he continues. "Yeah, quick slants to move the chains, but we gotta get the run going too." He makes a sheepish face at you before turning his attention back to the phone call. "If they're ever dumb enough to play Chase straight up, I'm going to him deep. Doesn't matter what the actual call is, I'll audible the shit out of it. If pass pro holds up that's always a money shot."

"I'm gonna go take a shower," you whisper, smiling when Joe gives you a thumbs up; you walk out of his office leaving him to talk X's and O's with Coach Taylor.

You turn the shower on to heat up and strip naked before twisting your long hair into a high bun to keep it dry. You step into the shower and reach for your body wash, lathering up while thinking of Joe; he was truly a franchise quarterback for the Bengals and they wanted his input on almost every aspect of the team: draft picks, free agents, indoor practice facilities, off-season work-out regimens, offensive schemes, etc. They'd given him the key to the city but that came with a lot of responsibilities. The good news was he was definitely up to the challenge; the bad news was it ate up a lot of physical and mental bandwidth and sometimes you were left wanting a little more of his attention.

You rinse off and step out of the shower, drying off quickly then stepping into a pair of tiny panties and a slinky tank top. Joe walks into the bathroom just as you finish brushing your teeth. "Did y'all figure some stuff out?" you ask. "Yeah." He yawns as he walks up behind you, pressing a kiss on your neck before meeting your eyes in the mirror. "We're gonna brainstorm a bit more in our morning meeting, then hopefully install a new scheme in afternoon practice."

"That sounds promising," you say, giving him a smile. "Fingers crossed," he mumbles, yawning again before dropping another kiss on your neck. He walks to the shower, turns it on then shucks his clothes off, dropping them in the hamper before stepping into the steaming shower; he groans low in his throat as the hot water hits his aching muscles and you feel a jolt of arousal shoot through you. You lean toward the mirror and pretend to inspect your face, but you're really covertly eyeballing his reflection in the mirror, musing to yourself that the clear glass shower enclosure had been a solid choice when y'all had renovated the house. Joe pivots toward you to rinse off and you quickly avert your eyes; you know he's way too tired for sex and you don't want him to feel obligated if he catches you leering. You dab on some eye cream then head into the bedroom, heaving a sigh of frustration as you slide between the cool, clean sheets.

You close your eyes and think back over the past several months. -- The entire off-season had been intense for Joe. The first few weeks were just a blur of disappointment and angst after the Super Bowl loss. It didn't help that he had to rehab the knee he sprained in the Super Bowl and finally get the pinky finger fixed that he dislocated in week 13. Once things settled down though he really seemed to get in a groove.

You smile to yourself as you think about his excitement at the team signing four new offensive linemen -- three veteran free agents and one promising rookie. Y'all had hosted a few dinner parties to get to know the new guys, and you had to admit, the chemistry was there right from the start. Dinner conversations were centered on how the improved o-line was going to open up a whole new level of play calling, and all the guys seemed like they were ready to run through a brick wall to ensure success.

It was Joe's first normal off-season in the NFL, and he really tried to wring every last bit of energy out of his body in the lead up to training camp. All the extra work had him looking like sex on legs even more than usual, and you'd spent an obscene amount of time running your fingers and tongue over the bulging muscles in his arms, chest and thighs, leaving love bites in the most sensitive places. The last couple weeks before training camp he was literally vibrating with anticipation for the upcoming season. Everything was going great until it wasn't.

The ruptured appendix caught everybody by surprise. What seemed like a routine surgery became super scary due to the threat of sepsis. Joe was pumped full of high-powered antibiotics for about a week after surgery to try and stave off infection. The fact that he had an open appendectomy instead of laparoscopic meant the healing time was much longer.

You shake your head when you think about how hard he'd pushed himself to be ready for week 1 - just 6.5 weeks after surgery. He'd put a decent amount of weight back on by then, but he was still down a good 10-15 pounds from where he wanted to be, and his stamina and core strength were not up to his usual standards. He was getting better every day though, and you were determined to keep stuffing food in him to give him a little more cushion against those damn sacks and punishing hits he took in every game.

The sound of the shower turning off pulls you back into the moment; even though he was down a few pounds he was still the most gorgeous man you'd ever seen so you let your mind wander, imagining him glistening wet as he steps out and grabs his towel. "Damn," you whisper to yourself, squeezing your legs together to try and stop the gush of wetness that always happens when you think naughty thoughts about your man.

You turn off the bedside lamp just as Joe walks into the bedroom so he doesn't notice your flushed face; he slides into bed and reaches over to give you a goodnight kiss. "Night, babe," he whispers, kissing you one more time before rolling over. "Night," you whisper back, biting the inside of your cheek to try and distract yourself from the throbbing ache between your thighs. Just go to sleep, you think. You know he's gonna bang you harder than a screen door in a hurricane once he gets past this. Have a little self control!

Fifteen minutes later you admit defeat. Fuck it, you think. I'll handle it myself. You lay still listening for Joe's breathing to even out; after what seems like ages, he gives a barely audible snore and you breathe a sigh of relief. You slide a hand into your panties and rub your clit with slow, deliberate circles, trying hard to suppress any heavy breathing or movement as you get into a steady rhythm. You're about 2/3 of the way to bliss when you hear Joe say your name; you immediately go completely still hoping you imagined it.

"Babe?" Joe whispers, scooting closer to you as you stealthily ease your hand out of your panties and try to even out your breathing.

"Yeah?" you whisper back.

"Are you playing with yourself?"

"Maybe."

Joe chuckles low in his throat and closes the distance between you, rolling onto his side to look down at you in the faint glow of the hallway light. "Any reason I wasn't invited to the party?" You take a deep breath and let it out slowly, willing your pulse rate to return to normal before you answer. "Because I know you're dead tired." You squirm a bit as Joe's hand inches up your thigh toward your aching core. "I didn't mean to wake you up," you say breathlessly. "Just go back to sleep. I can handle this." You bite your lower lip as Joe slides a hand inside your panties. "I'm calling an audible, baby girl," he purrs, circling a finger over your clit a few times before skimming down a little farther. "So wet," he groans."

"You don't have to. I know you're tired," you protest, moaning as he continues to tease you. "I'm never too tired for this. Besides, you'll cum much harder if I do it," he says matter-of-factly, knowing it's the absolute truth. "Let me make you feel good." He nips your earlobe with his teeth while sliding one long finger inside your slick heat. All thoughts of protesting vanish when he adds a second finger deep inside you while grinding his thumb against your clit, lightly at first then adding pressure as you get closer to the edge. He leans down and kisses a trail up your neck, his soft scruff tickling you in all the right places.

Just before your climax hits, he slows down and withdraws his fingers just enough to pull you back from the edge. "I was so close," you whine. "I know," he teases, his hot breath in your ear sending a shiver of desire down your spine. "But I'm not done playing with you yet."

He takes his sweet time working you back up, whispering filthy encouragement in your ear while you writhe beneath him. You're literally light-headed with desire as the tension builds inside you again; you reach down and grab his forearm to hold him steady. "Just like that," you breathe. "Don't stop!" The feel of his forearm muscles flexing as he curls his fingers inside you is the catalyst that sets you off. You gasp his name as your climax hits, holding onto his arm like an anchor as your head spins and your walls clench hard around his fingers; he continues to caress your G-spot, catching your whimpers in his mouth as you ride out the intense orgasm.

Once you finally catch your breath, you realize his very prominent erection is grinding against your hip. You reach down and give him a gentle squeeze. "You too tired for me to handle this?"

"Hell no," he groans, quickly stripping his underwear off. He watches you, eyes heavy-lidded with arousal, as you settle between his legs. You press wet kisses up the long length of his thighs as you crawl upward, maintaining eye contact with him as you worship his body with your lips and tongue. When you reach the juncture of his thighs you lightly suck his balls, smiling when your actions draw a low purr of approval from him.

"You like that?" you ask, continuing to tease him. "You know I love it," he growls, "but if you don't stop I'm gonna shoot before you get my cock in your mouth."

"Wouldn't want that," you breathe. You think about teasing him -- edging him until he begs for release -- but you know he's too tired for that tonight. Instead, you lock eyes with him and run your tongue up and down his hard length, flicking your tongue over the sweet spot on the underside just the way he likes until his eyes slide closed and his head drops back on his pillow. He fists a hand in your long hair and lets out a throaty groan when you take him deep. "I'm not gonna last long," he whispers, his hips grinding up into each thrust. You slide both hands up his chest and tease his nipples as you continue to deep-throat him, humming low in your throat to add extra sensation as his thrusts get more erratic. "Jesus," he hisses, giving one final thrust before gracing your throat with a rapid-fire climax.

For several minutes, the only sound in the room is heavy breathing coming from both of you. Once you catch your breath, you run your gaze over Joe's body, smiling at how thoroughly spent he looks. He opens his eyes and sees you smiling.

"What are you smiling about?" he rasps.

"Just admiring you. You're ridiculously beautiful."

"Except for this," he says, running his fingers over his appendectomy scar. "Guess I can't pose naked now," he teases.

"Honey, if you posed naked nobody would even notice that small scar. There are waaay more interesting things to ogle on your gorgeous body."

"You always know just what to say to make me feel better."

Y'all are quiet for a minute before he sits up and gives you an enigmatic look; he clears his throat before speaking. "I thought you already knew this but let me say it again -- 99% of the time I'm not too tired for sex. I wish you would've told me you wanted it. I thought you weren't attracted to me anymore."

You cackle at the absurdity before realizing his face is dead serious. "You better be kidding, Joseph Lee. It's taken all of my willpower not to jump you on a daily basis once you healed up from surgery. Not to mention, the only time we've had sex these last couple weeks was when I initiated it. If you wanted it more why didn't you do something?"

"I wanted to." He shrugs. "I wanted to just lose myself in you, but …"

"But what?"

"I played horrible, especially against Pittsburgh; I didn't want a pity fuck," he mumbles.

Your mouth drops open for a second at the sheer ridiculousness. "Pity fuck? Are you for real? 'Cause if so that's the dumbest shit you've ever said."

"Sorry."

"Sorry my ass! Look at me!" You wait for him to meet your eyes before continuing. "We've known each other way too long for you to truly think that. You could lose every game for the rest of your career, and I'd still want you more than I want air in my lungs, you know that right?"

He makes a face. "But I was so bad. Embarrassingly bad."

You take a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I know winning is the only thing you'll accept for yourself, but don't project that on me. I want you to win because it makes you happy, but I don't think any less of you when you lose."

"The stakes seem so much higher this year though. The Super Bowl appearance raised expectations in a huge way."

"Not for me," you argue.

He holds your gaze for several seconds, taking in the stubborn look on your face before dropping his eyes. "You're right," he mutters. "I was stupid to think that."

"You're not stupid. You're just human. I definitely need to communicate better though so you won't have these doubts."

"No!" his head snaps up. "This is not your fault. I was feeling sorry for myself and let it spiral too much." You open your mouth to argue but he forges ahead. "You wanted me when I was just a no-name, chubby-cheeked, transfer quarterback who came to LSU because OSU wouldn't play me and Nebraska didn't want me." He shrugs. "It was stupid of me to think a couple of shitty games would change your mind."

"Yeah, that was pretty stupid," you agree, giggling when he gives you a told-you-so look. "Speaking of stupid," you continue. "Those schools were dumb as shit for not wanting you, but LSU was your destiny. You made history there; you and that whole team will always be legends."

"LSU was my destiny because it's where I met you. Can't imagine my life without you."

"You trying to make me cry?" you whisper, swallowing hard as a couple of tears spill out of your eyes.

He leans forward, kissing the hot, salty tears off of your cheeks. "Are they happy tears?" he asks. "Yes," you sigh, collapsing against him as he lays down and pulls you down with him, gently cradling your head against his chest.

"I think we're both pretty tired right now," he soothes. "Let's just get some rest."

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You come awake slowly, lulled by the heat radiating off of Joe as you lie wrapped in his arms. You turn your head and look at the clock on the bedside table -- 3:33 a.m.

"Hey," Joe mumbles, his deep voice making you jump.

"Oh! You startled me!" you laugh. "How long have you been awake?"

"About 30 minutes. Can't sleep 'cause my mind is racing."

"What are you thinking about?" you ask, pushing up into a sitting position so you can see his face.

"All sorts of shit."

"Like what?"

"Like … you … football … that supermassive black hole at the center of our galaxy."

"You're such a goober," you giggle.

"Love you too, babe."

You lean down and plant a kiss on his pretty lips. "Tell me more about your football musings."

"I think I'm gonna take the o-line to Jeff Ruby's this Friday for a nice steak dinner. The media and fans are shitting all over them; they deserve a little treat."

"That's a great idea. Just don't sneak in like you normally do. Make sure y'all come in the front door together so everyone can see you."

He raises an eyebrow. "You calling an audible?" he asks.

"Yep! Seems to be the theme tonight." You laugh as he narrows his eyes at you. "Hear me out; a public display of confidence is just what they need right now. Lets everyone know you've got their back."

"That's … actually a great idea," he concedes.

After talking for a few more minutes, Joe's stomach growls loudly and you both laugh.

"Sounds like you need a snack," you chuckle, rubbing a hand over Joe's flat stomach.

"Are you trying to fatten me up?"

"Hell yeah. You need to gain at least 10 more pounds. You don't even have an inch to pinch," you tease, playfully grabbing at his waist.

"I've got way more than an inch to pinch," he gives you a cocky smirk. "You're just grabbing in the wrong place."

"Easy there, hot stuff. Pretty sure you're too tired for round two."

"I'm actually feeling good. I think if I have a pumpkin pie bar I'll be ready to go." He gives you a dirty wink. "You better get you a snack, too. You're def gonna need the energy."

"Oh really? What do you have in mind?"

"Something rough and raunchy. You okay with that?"

You hop off the bed and match his dirty wink with one of your own. "I'm always okay with that. Hang tight while I go get our snacks."

You're halfway to the door when his voice stops you. "Babe?"

You spin around and raise an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"Make it 2 pumpkin pie bars for me." He pats his belly. "I suddenly have a huge appetite."

"You got it," you say, flashing him a grin before heading for the door.

"He's gonna be just fine," you whisper to yourself, humming "Juicy" by Doja under your breath as you jog down the stairs to the kitchen.

#joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow fan fic #joe burrow fanfic #joe burrow oneshot

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simdertalia · 2 years

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komotionlessqueenmm · 2 years

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Imagine # 1,025

Gif NOT mine.

If this gif is yours (or you know who's it is) please let me, so I can give you/them credit.

Gif credit goes to - @imaginealotofthings (Unless told otherwise.)

Year posted - 2022

Sitting at the bar nursing a bottle of hard cider, (Y/n) hadn't noticed anyone else enter the clubhouse. Atleast not until Chibs and Tig sat down with her at the bar, Chibs to her right, and Tig to the right of him. "How ya doin' lass?" Chibs asked before lighting himself a cigarette. "Been better." (Y/n) chuckled softly, this time taking note when someone else entered the bar. This time it was Jax, who went straight behind the bar, grabbing himself a beer, then one for Chibs and Tig when they waved him over. "Bad day?" Chibs asked then took a long drag of his cigarette. "Long day, didn't sleep well." She shrugged in response, smiling softly at Jax when he leaned against the bar in front of her. "Give me a call next time darlin', I'll help ya get some sleep." Jax teased playfully, smiling when he effectively pulled a laugh from (Y/n). "I highly doubt that." Tig snorted, and Chibs nod his head in agreement. "That's very sweet Jax, but it wasn't for a lack of trying, just couldn't get comfortable." (Y/n) hummed before sipping her cider. "Ah you'll be alright lass, if anything you can take a nap in my room if ya need it." Chibs offered, patting her thigh affectionately. Only when his hand first met her thigh, (Y/n) immediately cried out in pain, doubling over with her head against the bar top. The sound made each Son jump, none of them expecting such a reaction. "Lass what's wrong?" Chibs asked, touching her back softly. "What happened Pumpkin?" Tig had since jumped up from his seat, now standing to (Y/n)'s left hovering over her. (Y/n) picked her head up slowly, a few small tears rolling down the apples of her cheeks. "New tattoo." She huffed before falling forward again, her leg still throbbing in pain. "Fuck." Chibs breathed out a sigh of relief. "On your thigh?" Tig asked, just to be sure. "Obviously." Jax sassed sarcastically, Tig only shrugged in response. "Thigh." (Y/n) nodded before sliding off the barstool, wobbling a little until she caught her balance again, with the help of Chibs and Tig. Shamelessly she unbuckled her belt, and very carefully pulled her jeans down far enough to show the large tattoo covering most of her thigh. "Oh shit." Jax grinned at the sight of the fresh ink, her skin still red and swollen from her appointment. "When did you get that?" Tig asked as he knelt down to get a better look at it. "Yesterday." (Y/n) leaned against Chibs, taking her weight off of her right leg, making it easier to relax. "All of that?" Chibs asked in surprise. "Yep, an all day session." (Y/n) nodded her head, a smile tugging at her lips when Chibs whistled lowly. "Badass." Jax chuckled with a smile, referring to both (Y/n) and her new tattoo. "I know." (Y/n) grinned before pulling her jeans back up. "That's gotta suck trying to walk around with." Tig mused as he stood up, all of them knowing full well how irritated tattoos can get when covered up. "I kinda just limp around right now actually." She chuckled softly, a squeak escaping her when Chibs picked her up bridal style, being careful of her leg. "No walking around then." Chibs shrugged casually before walking out of the bar with (Y/n) in his arms, intent on finding her a pair of shorts or a skirt of some sort, so her tattoo could properly breathe.

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ahappyphjl · 5 months

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can you rec some of your fave dnp from your playlist? :) currently going through some of their older content and always up for recommendations since there’s a lot out there

yess of course, happy to!! my "faves" playlist has over 100 videos and i love all of them, so i'll list the ones i rewatch most often, and ones that just mean a lot to me. i didn't include many of their newer videos or any of the pinofs though, cause they're all so great. hope u find some that u really like :)

both:

a festive day in the life of dan and phil

dan and phil play undertale (the series)

halloween baking - pumpkin spice pumpkin cookies

halloween baking - monster pops (just all the baking videos lol)

14 year old phil's game - dan and phil play: the mark of oxin

dan and phil play cards against humanity

dan vs phil: yasuhati

making a phandwich - dan and phil play: overcooked #2

amazingdan

the tree

a day in the life of dan and phil in london

the photo booth challenge

dan and phil play just dance

dan and phil play the impossible quiz #2

will dan and phil be millionaires

the wardrobe

blindfolded cat face game

something we want to tell you

dan and phil play golf with friends (the series)

what dan and phil text each other 2022

dan and phil play incohearent

phil:

viewers pick my outfits

a static lullaby - toxic (britney spears cover)

meet my mum

reacting to my baby videos

draw my life

draw my life: part 2

i got attacked by a squirrel

the hand - a dan and phil fanfiction by phil lester

coming out to you

trying to see without my glasses

trying to catch and rescue an injured wild pigeon

dan:

trying to live my truth

i nearly blinded myself

our awkward fancy meal

dan reacts to his childhood videos

the urge - a dan and phil fanfiction by dan howell

basically i'm gay

butterfingers (first solo dan vid i watched & which made me sub to him lmao)

dan's diss track - roast yourself challenge

my bahamas travel disaster

we are in a relationship

#i couldn't choose just a few so this is a lot oof but hopefully helpful!#sorry it took me a while to compile this lol it was so hard to decide which ones to include #answers #anon #favs #dan and phil

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scarlettjohanssons-mistress · 2 years

Note

Sarah Sanderson just being really attracted to a young!mom!reader with a toddler? (+ child just absolutely adores the Sanderson sisters, especially Sarah 👀)

Thank you !! 🫶🏻

The only reason

Warnings: First time, home life, fluff, Sarah as a good mother?

Word count: 1.9 K

Pairing: Sarah Sanderson x Fem!Reader

Prompt: Request + Sarah staying to live in modernity (1993 or 2022)

Requests: OPEN

[Main masterlist] [Others masterlist]

"Isabella, stay still"

I tried to stop the little girl's face while applying a light layer of black shadow on her eyelids

"I can't, mommy, I'm super duper excited"

Really, are you ready to go trick-or-treating, little Sanderson?”

"Yup"

The girl jumped out of the bathroom to run to our room to pick up her shoes .

“Are you going out somewhere ?”

My roommate and best friend Lizzie came out of her own room in her pumpkin orange sweatshirt and pajama bottoms, with us DVDs under her arms.

“The guys and I were planning on having a game and movie night . We thought we 'd wait until you got back with the little monster to start."

"It 's fine if you start without me , anyway, I don't think it will take me and the little monkey very long."

At that very moment, Isabella ran towards us, dropped her shoes on the ground and jumped into Liz's arms who quickly picked her up.

"Are my eyes deceiving me, or am I seeing a Sanderson in person?"

"It's me, Aunt Lizzie"

“Wow, you almost gave me a scare, girl. For a moment I thought I was looking at Sarah Sanderson herself."

"I'm just playing, aunt"

While she was still in Lizzie's arms, I put her little shoes on and grabbed her bag so I could collect candy .

"Are you ready, duckling?"

"Yes mommy"

Carefully, Lizzie lowered the girl, who quickly took my hand, ready to run.

"See you later Bella, good luck"

"Bye"

We leave the set of small apartments to reach the small town fair

“Well, little witch, I think the best sweets are going to be around here. Are you ready to be scary?"

"Yup"

———————————————————————————

Seeing Bella enjoying the sweets and the children being kind to her made my heart warm. I went through many difficult moments , a complicated pregnancy, a lonely motherhood mixed with a university life; everything to get to this moment, seeing my little baby eating candys while trying to follow the older children between giggles and screams.

"Look mommy! I got a lot of candy"

"I see that, baby"

"Now can we play to win me another teddy bear?"

"Another? Don't you have ten or even more?"

"Please mommy"

I couldn't resist the little puppy dog eyes of my little girl, so I had no choice but to shake my head while letting out a laugh.

“Just for a while”

“Yeih!”

The little girl quickly took my hand and dragged me to the games.

I paid a few bucks and started throwing some darts, trying to pop the balloons. After several attempts, I was finally able to get the stuffed animal that Bella wanted, so I turned to hand it to her , but when I looked, Bella was gone.

"Bella" I yelled "ISABELLA!"

↭✪↭✪↭✪↭✪↭✪ ↭✪↭✪↭✪

Narrates Sarah

"Mary, Sarah, don't be left behind!"

Despite Winnie's constant scolding , I decided to sit on a small bench that was near the place full of monsters that smelled like children, but they weren't children. Without realizing it, my sisters continued to chase after the children, leaving me completely alone.

"Hi"

I turned my head to meet another little witch, who actually had some resemblance to me.

"Hi"

"Are you Sarah Sanderrson?"

"Yep"

The little witch clapped her hands and came even closer, to sit next to me, as she began to swing her legs.

“My nane is Bela and I am your fan best in the world”

“Do I have fans?”

“Yup. You are a great witch, and funny… and pretty”

"Seriously?" the little witch nodded enthusiastically , making me excited too "What else do you like about me?"

↭✪↭✪↭✪↭✪↭✪ ↭✪↭✪↭✪

Narrate Y/N

I felt that my heart was going to jump out of my chest, sweat and chills lodged in my neck as a reminder of my stupidity, and tears began to flood my eyes.

Just when I was about to give up and call the police , I saw her. I saw my little girl sitting on a bench, next to a grown woman dressed as a witch, talking animatedly. Carelessly, I started pushing people until I was in front of the girls sitting on the bench.

"Bella"

The girl stopped paying attention to her friend, so she could see me, noticing how her face began to light up

"Mommy!"

Bella jumped out of her seat and hugged me tightly as I told myself that my baby was fine and allowed myself to shed tears .

"You have no idea how scared you gave me, Isabella" I broke away from the hug and looked her straight in the eye so she could see that I was completely serious .

"I'm sorry mommy" she pouted a little

"Just don't do it again, okay ?" The girl nodded enthusiastically , hugging me again . "You want to go home?"

"Can my friend Sarah come?"

That's when I first noticed the woman sitting on the bench. I quickly got up and brushed some dust off the floor.

"Hello" The woman did not stop running over my body with her gaze, which was full of curiosity, and some other intention unknown to my lost flirting skills. "Hello" I repeated

"Hi" spoke the beautiful blonde

Bella gently tugged on my arm and stood on tiptoe, a sign that she wanted to tell me one of her big secrets, so I carefully crouched down again to listen to her small talk.

“She's my friend” she whispered so that only I could hear her “Sarah Sanderson. It is the same one Miss Alma was talking about”

This was similar to when the children found out about the lie of Santa Claus or the tooth fairy; I just didn't have the heart to tell her that, that woman was just making a costume for Halloween. But being the good mother that I am, I just gave her a smile and kissed her cheek.

"Oh honey, I don't think a great witch like a Sanderson would want to walk us home."

"In fact, I have nothing to do" spoke the blonde's squeaky voice, causing the smaller girl to jump.

"Pease mommy"

Bella gave me the best puppy dog eyes I had ever seen in her short 4 years of life; The woman next to her looked at my daughter's face and proceeded to imitate her before me , causing me to laugh. They were both adorable.

“Okay , how about we go get some ice cream?”

Bella didn't need to hear any more to run to the address, while yelling at us not to lose sight of her.

The beautiful blonde got up and before walking to reach my daughter, she poked me in the rib calling my attention; I turned my head and saw, the second most beautiful smile in the world.

"I'm Sarah by the way"

"Yes, I think I already noticed " I pointed to her outfit "it suits you very well, by the way"

"You are very beautiful, like a dozen spi…" she cut off her own sentence, only continuing to walk.

———————————————————————————

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

With my left hand I started to grab more teddy bears, to throw them away, thanking all the gods that just that day, Bella had decided to go get ice cream with her Aunt Lizzie.

"I told you!"

As if that weren't enough, the fact that Sarah stopped the toys with her magic made I lose my mind even more.

"I thought you were playing!"

Sarah pouted adorably as her blue eyes began to fill with tears.

"Why do you think I would lie about that?"

"It's Halloween, we all dress up and lie about who we are!" the toys are over, so it was time to bring out my plan b, yell at her. "Why aren't you even dead?" out of the corner of my eye I could see the calendar and correct the date; November 08.

"It's… kind of complicated"

"Did you eat a large amount of children's souls?"

I started to organize a plan, if this woman hadn't called her dark sisters already, she could easily run away, looking for Bella and returning to New Orleans, with my parents.

"No, it's much more complicated than this…"

"Do you want Bella's soul? Is that what you want?"

"I'm here for Bella!"

Just when I was ready to run, Sarah's sentence made me stop, as I watched her eyes follow my every move.

"What?"

"I don't understand how it works, Winnie is the one who know, but I understand that yes , we found a reason to change, we would stay here" she started walking approaching me carefully, so as not to scare me "Bella and you are my reason for being here. ”

↭✪↭✪↭✪↭✪↭✪ ↭✪↭✪↭✪

Narrates Sarah

"Can you remind me... What is this?"

"One TV"

"And inside the television is happening...?"

"A Movie"

“Oh. I like it"

Mary began to change what was inside the little magic box with little Bella sitting next to her, while I waited for the little box that warms food to make its sound to serve the dinner that Y/N had left for four. .

"I can't believe we've come down to this," Winnie whimpered as she played with one of Bella's many dolls.

"What do you mean?" I hummed as I served the dishes.

"How did you go from chasing children to…" I made a small gesture for her to lower my voice, I didn't want Bella to hear "hunting children, to being one's personal servant?"

"At some point in life we were also girls"

"Is not the same!"

"Winnie you should relax, now we don't have to round up kids, and we can live off the yellow stuff Y/N does."

"They're called 'mac and cheese.'" Bella walked over to the small kitchen counter and sat next to Winnie, "and my mommy makes the best in the world."

"I do not think so"

“My mommy says you can't macke an opinion if you haven't trried the food; right Sarah?”

"Yup"

"Sarah, don't be influenced by a girl, don't be silly…"

"Hey!" Bella yelled as she crossed her arms and pouted "Don't call Sarah 'silly', she's not silly, she's the smartest girl in town."

"Not as much as my Bella Cinderella" I put the plate in front of her and planted a kiss on her forehead

"Thanks S. Come Mary, you have to try what mommy does"

"Here I go, little witch"

↭✪↭✪↭✪↭✪↭✪ ↭✪↭✪↭✪

"So… your mom never read you bedtime stories?"

"Not that I remember. I stopped seeing my mom when I was very little.

"That's not cute" Bella spoke as she covered herself even more with the blankets

"I know " I was lost for a moment in my thoughts, until I heard again what was happening outside the room. I could make out Y /N and Winnie's voices arguing over that silly board game, while Mary couldn't stop laughing “You should go to sleep now. Good night Cinderella”

“Good night, Mommy S”

I quickly left the room and ran towards Y/N.

I took her by the arm and forced her to get up from the chair; I locked us in the kitchen and started jumping, dancing and laughing.

"What's wrong, beautiful blonde?"

Stop jumping, I grabbed her hips, pulling her close and started spreading kisses on her beautiful cheeks.

"Baby Bella called me 'mommy'"

"Really?! That's AMAZING, baby"

"I love you, very much. Both of you"

"Well, you just confirmed that we love you too"

Y/N planted a kiss on me that made me forget, just for a second, the emotion running through my body. Everything was nice, until Winnie's irritating voice interrupted the moment

"Are they going to stay locked up or can Y/N give me the money he owes me already?"

"I didn't owe you anything. You fell in my country, so YOU are the one who owes me some bills"

Note:

I'm really sorry for the delay, but the university is eating up my time (in fact, I shouldn't be uploading this and I should start 3 final papers, but it doesn't matter).

It doesn't matter if it's not Halloween anymore, at some other time of the year I'll write more about my childhood crush (obviously, Sarah). Just let my semester finish and I can write more

I hope you enjoy it

I appreciate the reblogs, the likes and the comments

taglist: @littlebitchsposts // @serpensoir

message me or send an ask to be added to my taglist!

#hocus pocus #hocus pocus 2 #sarah sanderson #winnie sanderson #mary sanderson #sarah sanderson x fem!reader #sarah sanderson imagines #sarah sanderson x reader #sarah jessica parker #sanderson sisters #bisexual #pansexual #lgbtq

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babyjakes · 2 years

Text

more than a score.

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

event | whumptember 2022

prompt | bad grades

pairing | daddy!frank adler x little!student!reader

warnings | frank is sfw daddy only per usual, college student!reader, reader does poorly on an exam and gets upset, negative self-talk, frank is so soft we all deserve a frank <3, all those sweet little names he calls her like "honeybee" :'-), my personal math trauma insertion, the title rhyming makes me feel so silly goofy it's embarrassing lol

word count | 1,285

an | okay so originally this was gonna be steve but thennnnn i kind of just spiralled after seeing a gifset of frank being soft with mary so ;'-) it is what it is lol, i hope you guys like this one!!! this one's for the girlies who are getting their asses kicked by school rn!! i love you and so does frank!!!

Kicking off his shoes and dropping his bag by the door, Frank raised a brow in question as he looked out through the doorway to the kitchen and the rest of the house. From what he could see, most of the lights were off, a strange sight he couldn't remember the last time he had come home to. "Honey?" he called out, his worry only growing as he received no response.

Making his way through the house, he scanned each room for you. Through the kitchen, then the living room, and then down the hallway. When he could finally see the faint glow of light coming out from underneath your shared bedroom door, he sighed a bit in relief.

Pausing to knock, he called out again for you, "Sweetheart? You in there?"

Curled up on the maroon loveseat over in the reading corner, you raised your head weakly off your pillow for only a moment. When you couldn't manage a response, the door opened slowly, revealing a slightly panicked-looking Frank. At the sight of you wrapped up under a blanket in the fetal position, your eyes still puffy from apparent tears, the man instantly rushed over to you, crouching down to sit on the floor beside the couch to bring you face to face.

"Honey, honey, hey-" he fussed over you gently, reaching out a hand to brush back your hair, "what's going on, y/n? You look like you've been crying."

Nodding, you scooted forward a bit to lean your head on your daddy's shoulder, tucking your face into the side of his neck as he hummed, "Hey honeybee, c'mere." Slowly wrapping his arms around you, he carefully collected you off the couch, standing up to take your previous place with you now in his lap as he cradled you. "Shhh, it's okay," he murmured, "I've got you, sweetheart. Can you tell me what's goin' on, pumpkin? Hmm? Did something happen?"

Not able to face him to give him an answer, you once again tucked your head away into his shirt to hide your face, reaching a hand out to point over in the direction of the end table that sat to the side of the couch. Following your gesture with his gaze, Frank's eyes landed on your laptop that still sat open, the screen having dimmed from sitting untouched for too long. Reaching out a hand, he picked it up, pulling it over to set it on top of your legs as he wiggled the mouse.

As the screen lit up, a knowing look formed on the man's face. Reading over the small table displayed in the opened window, he found the dreaded D score that he could guess brought on your pitiful state. "Oh bubba..." his voice trailed off sympathetically as his free hand came up to rub your back. Looking down at you as you hid away in shame, Frank's face softened. "Sweet girl, can you come out and talk to me?" Feeling a fresh round of tears coming on at the tenderness of your daddy's voice, you swallowed hard, clinging to the safety the darkness of his (now damp) button-down provided. "C'mon, honey. You're okay, just wanna help you feel better, honeybee."

Sniffling, it took everything in you to finally find your voice; it trembled as you spoke. "I-I'm sorry, Daddy."

"What? What are you saying sorry for, sweetheart?" the man soothed as he continued to run his hand up and down your back over your blanket.

"Kn-know it's a bad score, Daddy. Know I did a b-bad job. Didn't mean to, tried really h-hard and... studied a lot but... just... c-can't do math, Daddy. 'm no good at it," you whimpered.

"No baby, hey," Frank shook his head as he pulled back from you slightly, a gentle hand coming up to hold your cheek to prevent you from hiding away again. "Look at me, bubba. C'mon, this is important." Your eyes remained lowered, forcing him to tilt your chin up ever so slightly to finally catch your gaze. "Baby," he breathed, his eyes so full of love and sincerity. "You did not do a bad job. You did your best," he reminded you. "I know you did, honey. I know how hard you studied, how much you did to prepare. You worked so hard. And I'm so proud of you, y/n. Daddy's so proud of you."

"But..." you protested softly, bottom lip starting to wobble again.

Shaking his head, Frank's voice was the gentlest thing you'd ever heard as he started speaking again before you could finish your thought. "No, sweet girl. No 'but's, Daddy is always proud of you when you do your best. And you can do math, baby. You've been doing this math all semester; it was just one hard test. Now it'll be a new unit, with new things to learn. And if you want, Daddy can help you study and get ready for your next test, okay? We'll both do our best, bubba. I'm sure with the two of us putting our brains together, we can get your grade up with the next exam."

Bringing a hand up to rub at your eyes, you nodded, the promise of having your daddy's help on the next unit making you feel slightly more optimistic about continuing through the semester. "Still think I'm smart?" you asked weakly, a tinge of heartbreak appearing on Frank's face as he stroked your cheek softly.

"Of course I do," he whispered, thumbing away at a few stray tears as they dropped down from the corners of your eyes. "Think you're the smartest cookie I know, baby. But you know what else I think? Something way more important than just being smart?"

"Hm?" you hummed curiously, a genuine smile forming on the man's face as he continued.

"I think you're kind. I think you're loving. I think you're so hard-working, so dedicated. I think you're clever, and funny, and a wonderful friend. I think you've got the biggest, bravest heart. Along with your beautiful mind. Of course I think you're smart, y/n; I think you're brilliant in every possible way. But I think you're more than that too, honey. I think you're more than some silly test score; that's no way to measure how smart you are, anyway. Remember what I told you about those damn SAT's?"

That made you giggle a bit as you nodded. Having been a former college professor, Frank surely had firmly established opinions on standardized testing in the country at large, though a lot of times his views on assessment styles could also be shrunk down and applied to things like the math exam just as easily. "They're a scam, Daddy. They don't measure anything important," you recited what you could remember.

"That's right, baby," he affirmed proudly, earning another giggle from you as he nodded with a mock-serious looking face. "A lot of times tests aren't a great way to measure smartness. I know you were understanding the concepts when you were studying, baby. You did such a good job when you showed me all those problems you did."

"The questions were phrased funny," you admitted. "I lost a lot of points because I interpreted them wrong."

"See? You can't beat yourself up for it, baby. I won't let you," he declared.

"Okay Daddy," you hummed, finally feeling a little more at peace with the whole situation as you wrapped your arms around him tightly, giving him a squeeze. "No more beating myself up, I promise."

"Good," Frank smiled gently at you, leaning down to kiss the top of your head. "No one gets to be mean to my honeybee, not on my watch."

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somuchyoudontknow · 9 months

Text

The Rumor Mill..

Do you remember Jesal followed Alba in Jan 2022? At that time Alba and her crew and Chris' crew were seen at the same locations VT House and Las Vegas. They were even seen together at the Drag Show in Vegas. Did any content come out of these two places of Chris and Alba? Nope! So what was the purpose? We kept talking, speculating and gossiping and after the charity video came out, the mags picked up the gossip from the fans!

Let's see an example of how the media is also monitoring the fandom. An extract from the Cosmo Article:

Weren't we the ones to come up with the term "Pumpkin Gate" 😁😂 Don't tell me without telling me the journos are not here 😉

This is what they have done in the past and they can do it again. It's a cheap way of publicity, using fans. I am not saying it is impossible we would get a pic of Alba and Chris from this trip, tbh it is ridiculous to reject all the possibilities in this PR since it is very unpredictable. What I am saying is it is also possible that nothing comes out. They might have done groundwork for the rumors to spread, get the fans talking and then get the mags pick it up. It can be NYE 1.0 all over again.

#chris evans #chris evans pr #alba baptista

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thehoneybeet · 1 year

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